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bathroomtrapped · 1 year

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What are the basic differences between saws original script and the outcome? Why did they not play those scenes?

theres a lot of superficial changes, like their ages and adams last name being denlon. honestly still not sure where faulkner-stanheight got confirmed as his last name!

a lot of the things that were cut had to do with adams character and im not entirely sure why it was cut. his reason for being there was because he was suicidal. jigsaw said something along the lines of "everyday youve wanted to die". he wanted to go to vet school and had an interaction with some cat in his apartment. theres a scene where his mother calls, saying his father isnt mad and that he should call them. he writes on a sticky note "call mom" then adds a "?"

he has an interaction with a shitty neighbor, begs god to become a better person

theres probably a few small details about him im forgetting bc its been a while since ive reread the screenplay but the common theme is that the saw movie cut out a MASSIVE amount of context for adams character.

im not entirely sure why, i think some scenes might have to do with cutting down on time (the cat scene would probably get cut for time before filming once they actually start working on the project) vs something that was cut to make the story tighter and change adams role in the story.

he tells lawrence that basically, be hid the photo because he "didnt know what he would do". aka he was scared that itd motivate lawrence to kill him more. not sure why this is cut because some people clearly did not pick up on that lol

basically everything we know about adam is only known to us because it has something to do with lawrence. we know it because lawrence needs to. its unfortunately bc i like adam enough to want to know more but it serves the story better. hes the audience. we know what we know bc adam knows it or learns it. hes the one behind the camera. hes a voyeur. hes literally nothing. he died forgotten by basically everyone and hes just BARELY there in the narrative bc hes just... nothing.

at the end of the day, he was just a pawn. hes not important to anyone but lawrence because this is his story. this is his test and were just the people chained up and forced to watch it play out. i imagine his backstory and personal information was cut for this reason.

during the editing process, there were scenes cut. i know the trap was supposed to be more elaborate originally. i think the cat scene was cut out to save time and the mom scene/motivation/history was cut to firmly center the narrative on lawrence

one change that fucking BAFFLES me is that at the end during the love scene, adam originally asks lawrence "am i going to be okay?". in the film its "are WE going to be okay?" umm im honestly not quite sure what series of thoughts propelled them to make such a gay film by accident, call the end the LOVE SCENE publicly, and then proceed to be shocked when people call them on it? leigh was shocked to see chainshipping fics back during the ff.net days (fun fact: the first ever chainshipping fanfic was published on ffnet called rebirth. its still up)

my best guess is that leigh wanted to push their "relationship" (whatever they think that is) further for more emotional pay off. most of the changes seem to pull their themes tighter. it ends up working in its favor. adam is lawrences test and his moral core or whatever, so they have a pretty instant connection. it was probably done to make lawrence suffer more! or maybe make it gayer and leigh is just doing a bit

theres also the lampshade song lol. some dumb shit leigh made up and cary refused to do, so they changed it to the weird little piggy thing instead. MINOR minor improvement

certain words were changed because cary just kinda... rolled with it. he adjusted the script a few times bc he rly liked lawrence for some reason. he still does. leigh just accepted it and let him do his thing

amanda was also amanda denlon in the screenplay im pretty sure

tapp was dunked on by john as he assassins creed-ed him in the throat for being a 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN! absolutely insane

the way adam finds out lawrence is a doctor is different, he talks about possibly being injected with rohypnol LOL

the heart was actually a clue leading to the word toilet written over his heart, under his shirt. the blood heart wasnt in the script LOL. i imagine cary didnt want to have toilet written on his bare chest for the film? a shame

theres more interactions with tapp, sing, lawrence, and brett (his lawyer) im assuming its what happened before they asked lawrence to sit and watch amandas testimony. they say his fingerprints were found at the scene, not a pen. i think either way its interesting because. wow! lawrences prints are in the system which means he has a record. the implications are kinda funny, it makes how baffled he is that tapp dare accuse him of such a thing! even more ironic. now we know that mark was involved in the police and planted the pen, so he probably just out his prints into the system as well

amanda works at lawrences hospital. not sure why this is cut? possibly bc shawnee was begged to join bc james had a big crush on her and she didnt even want to originally. she might notve wanted to do multiple scenes or something at the time before she decided on returning as amanda (for whatever reason, im not quite sure why she became so attached to the series after not joining as enthusiastically as cary did after watching the 2003 short)

amandas reason is also different. i think jigsaw literally hated depressed ppl so much in the script bc she was there for therapy or something LOL. not drugs. prob just cut to improve it

thats all i got. theres a lot of changes for logics sake related to the trap, wording changes for flow (im assuming), time constraints, and to streamline the themes and center it on lawrence

#soo much in this #getting saw questions is interesting lol #ive been thinking about the nothing-ification of adam for a while now #hes literally a ghost ! always was always will be lol #larry.txt

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onyourstageleft · 8 months

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just wanted to post a quick update about my cat Peggy, we're still waiting on the biopsy results but I have more thoughts below the cut

(tw: animal sickness, cancer mention, amputation mention)

includes a non-graphic picture of lumps under skin

so we don't know anything yet, I'll hear back from the vet either tomorrow (Saturday) or Monday about the biopsy and we'll know more from there. my partners are trying to be optimistic and hope it's cysts or some other easily treatable issue, but the more I get a chance to look at the lumps the more I think it's my original fear of fibrosarcoma or another cancer mass. I haven't talked to them much about it bc they don't want me to speculate (fair enough) but our friend who catsits for us and also loves our babies very much came over today, he noticed the lump with us on Tuesday and he was clearly worried from the moment he noticed it, and he took a closer look (as much as Peggy would let him before yelling at him and insisting she gets love instead) while he was here, he pretty much agrees with my googling assessment. we're of the same mind that it's better to know what the worst possible outcome could be and prepare for that and hope to be proved wrong than try to hold out for a good result and be unprepared if it's not. he's not a vet expert but he's had many cats in his time, some with health issues including cancer, so I trust his amateur assessment, and he thinks that with the positioning of it on her hip and over the tendons there, for a surgery to get all of it they might suggest amputation of her left hind leg, and honestly if that ends up being the vet recommended best choice for her I'm all in. shes only 7 so hopefully the recovery from it wouldn't be a major concern, she's a spry lil lady so I think she'd take it okay, and we can arrange our schedules to be home as much as possible with her

I know that whatever happens we will love her so so much and give her the best care we possibly can, and even though it is likely to double the debt I'm currently in, I have no hesitation about doing it if it means a good chance that I get to keep my baby around for at least a few more years. plus, Peggy, peg leg, it works, right? (I'm leaning into the using humor to cope stage rn) she's still being so cuddly, like her attitude hasn't changed at all and she's so talkative and amazing, even though logically nothing has changed at all in the last few days, the area is just shaved and we're touching it more to try to look at it although we don't want to upset her, I just wish she could let me know if it's hurting her or affecting her movement or anything. I feel like she might be *slightly* skinnier than she was a few months ago in her face and body but that could also entirely be me just projecting my worries and seeing more than what's actually going on, so I'm trying not to dwell on that much

anyway she was laying on me as I started writing this post but has since relocated to the back of the couch, so have a pic of her curled on my lap with the shaved area/lumps visible + a few pictures from the last few months bc I just love this baby so much

important addendum as I was attaching the pictures she has come back to my lap and is doing biscuits on my tummy so bonus pic for that

#be proud of me i figured out how to do read more on mobile (its really easy)#tw animal sickness #peggy sue #personal #tw cancer mention #tw amputation mention

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dragonbleps · 2 years

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Oh my god okay so the last 3 hours have been uh. a lot

My mom got a call/voicemail from the vet surgeon while we were at the grocery store, telling her there’s paperwork they e-mailed her and she needs to fill out and email back. She missed the “email them back before you come in tomorrow at 7am” part and printed them out instead to fill out and give when we arrive in the morning. So we figured we’d try to edit the documents

Unfortunately, my mom is like, technology-averse, and ONLY does everything on her phone but even then doesn’t know how much works. She can’t figure out how to open/edit the paperwork to fill it out on her phone, so she gets on her tablet and finds the email (and gives the tablet to me to figure it out–after this point, it’s all me.)

The document opens up in an application I’ve never seen, and it’s a scanned-in document, so it’s not so much “editable” as it is possible to just put text over it. But it won’t let me edit the PDF; it makes me save a copy as a Word document first. I open up the Word document and it fuckign.. Jumbled everything up and messed up the spelling in several places?? It was so bad I wasn’t sure where to sign anymore

So I ask her to try to find it on her laptop, which she hasn’t used in months because it’s slow because it probably needs updates because she hasn’t used it in months. She tries but her email (which is flooded constantly bc she doesn’t know/doesn’t bother to unsubscribe from things, so she literally gets 100-150 emails EVERY DAY), and also apparently the gmail settings were out of date so it wouldn’t load in more emails anyway

At this point I go back downstairs to give the dogs their food so Bella gets her food and meds before the cutoff point of the night. I watch them so they don’t eat each others food, then pick up the bowls and go back upstairs

I have her go back to her phone and forward ME the email so that I can try to edit the documents on my laptop. I get on my laptop, and again it opened the document in a weird application WPS Something idfk. I usually use Libre Office, but it wouldn’t let me use that. BUT, on my laptop I manage to find the edit button!! And I can edit it as the PDF! So I go through and answer the questions, go to save the PDF… and it says “this is a paid function. To upgrade–” sunovabitch.

While looking at the PDF though, I noticed there were highlighted sections on the documents that didn’t show up on the printed copies–important parts that needed answering. If I hadn’t tried to edit the document in this process, I wouldn’t have known and Bella might not have gotten the additional pain management treatments after the surgery

I ended up going back to the printed out documents, referencing the original PDF, and writing down the answers where they were supposed to be indicated in highlighted sections.

Then my dad helped me scan the 5 pages. None of my mom’s devices are connected to the printer/scanner, so we scanned them to MY laptop, then I attached the new PDF to an email to send to my mom, went back upstairs and got on her phone to download the new PDF, create an email, and send it to the veterinary surgeon

Helluva clusterfuck but it’s DONE.

We drop off Bella at 7am tomorrow. I have her food and meds to give to the vet in the morning too.

#missy rambles #i was so stressed oh my god #i was sure if anyone tried to touch me while i was trying to figure it out i'd have snapped at them

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xsamsharons · 3 years

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hi! if youre up to it could you please write abt what i'd be like to meet nikolai for the first time and then later find out he's your soulmate. basically just soulmate!au headcanons.

thank you - i cant wait to see what you come up with. btw love your work so much:)

summary: headcanons about being nikolai's soulmate.

pairing: nikolai lantsov x reader.

genre/warning: just fluff

a/n: hey love !! i decided to make this a modern!au but let me know if you want me to redo it and have it set in the grishaverse.

ok so

i wholeheartedly believe that nikolai's personality would only be amplified in a modern setting.

you thought he was cocky before? wait til u see his instagram.

you thought he was obnoxious? wait til you see the person he becomes when he hears toxic by britney spears.

you thought sturmhond was a bit of a pretentious alias? wait til he starts saying he sees himself in young bill from mamma mia: here we go again.

you get the point.

so i feel like unless you've known him ever since you were little

you probably wouldn't get along with him at first.

let's say you meet him bc you're friends with alina and she introduces you at her birthday party

so the first impression of nikolai you have is one of a drunk nikolai

which is a thousand times worse

so you immediatly dislike him

and then your friendgroup (the crows) merges with his friendgroup (tgt)

so you're forced to spend more time with this rich guy who you consider arrogant, loud and annoying. and extremely fucking cute

so it's safe to say you aren't pleased.

specially when he starts to flirt with you every chance he gets.

"are you sure we don't have any classes together? cause i could've sworn we had chemistry."

and a bunch of stupid pick up lines that he is aware won't work, he just says them cause he knows it annoys you.

but then one day you find him helping a stray injured cat (or a dog, whatever you are into) on the street when you're walking home

and while you consider just avoiding him, you decide against it just because he looks like he has no idea of what to do with a hurt kitten

so you walk up to him and offer to help him take the cat to a vet to patch them up

and that's the turning point.

he decides to adopt the stray cat after you leave the vet, and he calls him (it's a he) "emerald"

which you think sounds ridiculous but don't comment on it.

and you spend all day together:

helping him buy the supplies needed to raise a cat,

stopping at a coffee shop on the way to his apartment,

spending the afternoon playing with emerald and nikolai in their living room, etc.

but the day comes to and end way too soon for your liking

because, to your surprise, you were actually enjoying your time with him

and before he walks you to the door, he decides to take off the, in your opinion, unnecessary amount of jewelry he wears

which is when you see it:

the mark on his neck that was usually covered by the amount of chains he wears around it

a mark that wouldn't be that big of a deal, if it didn't match the one you have on your own neck.

so you freeze

and he notices.

"what's wrong?" he asks after noticing your wide eyed expression and change of demeanor.

a question to which you only reply with a hand movement that vaguely moves in the direction of his neck, and then towards your own.

and he connects the dots.

"the mark?" he asks, and you nod. "you hadn't noticed?"

"you had?"

"why did you think i was flirting with you all the time?" he laughed

"i don't know!" you defended, feeling a bit stupid for not noticing. "because it annoyed me?" you offered.

"i will admit your reactions were a little hilarious, but i wouldn't have wasted my time if i knew you weren't interested."

"well, technically, i wasn't." you defended again.

"and, technically, this is the universe's way of telling you that you're full of shit" he winked.

and from then on, you two only got closer.

visiting him and emerald became a daily thing.

and hanging out one on one without all of your friends became a normal occurrence.

you started to laugh at his jokes, flirt back with him when he delivered a stupid pick up line, and sing britney spears with him when one of her songs came on the radio.

but you still hadn't kissed, and it was driving you kind of insane.

did he not want to? was he disappointed you were his soulmate? was he waiting for something?

because it had been weeks since you found out about him being your soulmate.

and it had been weeks of spending every minute together.

but he still hadn't kissed you, and it's not like he was a shy person by any stretch.

so you decided to take matters into your own hands.

and what better day than one when you were having ice cream by the beach while watching the sun set over the horizon.

and the sun was shining just right on his hazel eyes

and casting an orange hue around his blonde hair

and shit, he real was breathtaking, wasn't he?

he turned around to face you with a soft smile on his face when he noticed your staring.

and found you looking at him with a smile that mirrored his own.

and a look in your eyes that he couldn't quite place.

"can i kiss you?" you asked him, your voice barely above a whisper.

he smile widened as he nodded, and that was all the confirmation you needed to lean in and finally press your lips against his.

and jesus christ, did it feel good.

his lips felt like the only reason you had been put on this earth was to kiss them.

and the smile that lit up his face once he pulled away made you feel like you were a little kid with a crush on a cartoon you saw on tv again.

you smiled back at him, and punched his arm softly after a moment.

"what was that for?" he complained, rubbing his arm softly with a pout on his lips.

"why didn't you do that sooner?" you asked him.

"that good, huh?" he smirked.

"shut up." you blushed.

he cupped your cheek again before he spoke "i didn't want to until you felt sure that you wanted to kiss me for me, and not just because you now knew i was your soulmate." he admitted, and your heart melted.

"aww, look at you. you big softie." you replied and he laughed.

"just kiss me again." he begged.

and how could you not?

because he might be annoying, and loud, and a bit too pretty for his own good.

but he was your soulmate.

and you were his.

so who really cared about his big mouth when you had the opportunity to just shut him up with a kiss any time you wanted?

not you, that's for sure.

this is my first fic in this format so i'm sorry if it sucks lol. also the idea abt modern nik being a britney fan is 100% @wtfrae's <3

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jinkicake · 3 years

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Heeeyyyyyy! I was the one who asked for the cat passing comfort with Seijoh Karasuno and Kamomedai pls!

Hi~~~ Pls let me know if you want me to try and write more for any of these (like Karasuno's isn't as long as the others bc I found it so hard to write)!!! Sigh, I've never cried while writing something before but,, I did sob while writing these LMFAO so they might be bad and poorly edited,,, senior pet owner tingz :PPPP Anyway~ (also it was my first time writing with Kamomedai so... I hope they are in character...)

WC- 3k

Kamomedai

“(Y/N), I didn’t mean to eavesdrop.” Hirugami quietly starts, slowly opening the classroom door in a calming manner. “I heard everything,” The middle blocker nearly cringes but ultimately contains his composure, how the hell is he supposed to lighten the situation. “I’m really sorry. Are you okay?”

One look into your tearful expression and frazzled state tells Hirugami everything, of course, you’re not okay.

“It’s alright, Hirugami, really.” You offer him a wobbly smile, one that does you more harm than good as a sob crawls its way up your throat. Quickly, you try to wipe a tear off of your cheek before swallowing tightly and trying again. “You should get to practice.”

Hirugami wants to desperately run his hand through his hair and express his frustrations but, he remains calm for you and for the situation. Why can’t you just express your feelings with him?

“Hirugami! (Y/N)! We have practice, let’s go!” Hoshiumi’s voice rings throughout the classroom, abruptly stopping when he notices your tearful expression. “Oh no. Hirugami how could you reject (Y/N)!” Hoshiumi complains, groaning out loud, at the confession scene and his friend’s lack of taste.

“It’s not that, that’s not what’s happening here.” Hirugami tries to explain, gesturing generously with his hands in order to keep his ace at bay.

“I’m just dealing with something personal.” You quietly whisper and finally gather your things off of your desk.

“(Y/N),” Hirugami attempts to stop you, placing his arm out in front of you so that you can’t get past the door.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” You nearly choke, your flustered state getting the best of you. You feel like you might melt to the floor any second now, you’re so overwhelmed and your teammates are not making it any easier. “Please let me go to practice.”

Hirugami hesitantly lifts his arm up, watching you as you flee from the classroom and out into the hallway. It’s so silent and tense in the room, he all but sighs.

“I got it mixed up, didn’t I?” Hoshiumi asks, lightly scratching his head as he closes his eyes in thought. “(Y/N) rejected you, didn’t they?”

“No, it was not a confession scene.” Hirugami clarifies as he grabs his bag and walks out into the hallway, after you.

“What was it then?” Hoshiumi can’t help but get nosy, he’s curious and might explode if he doesn’t find out what exactly happened.

“I don’t really think it is my place to tell you. I’m not even supposed to know.” This time, Hirugami sighs loudly and his eyebrows furrow in worry. He’s not even sure why he is so distraught over this, if it’s because of you or the situation you’re in. “Apparently, their cat has to be put down.” His voice is so quiet, it’s almost a whisper. Not even Hoshiumi has anything to say right away.

“That’s really upsetting, (Y/N) always talks about that old hag.” Hoshiumi somberly stares ahead of him, his worry growing just as quickly as his teammates. “They don’t want to talk about it?”

“I guess not.” Hirugami frowns and stubbornly acknowledges your will.

“Then we just have to be there for them! Give (Y/N) support like they give us!” Hoshiumi lightly taps his cheeks, bracing his game face. “Subtly show support while acting as normal as possible.”

Hirugami wants to sigh, that’s easier said than done.

“Come on, let’s go out to eat!” Hoshiumi announces as he steps in front of your path the minute practice is over, he crosses his arms over his chest to ensure that you don’t get away from him.

“I’m not really in the mood,” You sigh and shift the strap of your bag higher up on your shoulder. “you and Hirugami go.”

“(Y/N), we need you to babysit,” Suwa calls from the supply closet, busying himself with a mindless task. As a second-year it was only natural for Suwa to put you in charge of the other second years, specifically the most animated ones.

“I’m tired!"

“If those two get in trouble then it’s on you,”

“Fine, fine. Where are we going?” You bitterly blink back tears of frustration that have welled up in your eyes and try to remain calm, in reality, all you want to do is go home and sleep. The mere thought of your warm bed waiting for you is enough to have you sniffling in irritation. At your question, Hoshiumi gives you a supportive pat on the back as his head tilts up in thought.

“Let’s just go to a convenience store!”

“And have a picnic?” You ask sarcastically but Hoshiumi’s eyes light up, the idea clearly resonates with him.

“Yes! Let’s go! Let’s go!” The shorter second year grabs his close friend by the arm and pulls the three of you close together. “Hirugami, let’s go!”

The walk to the convenience store isn’t long, if anything, Hoshiumi fills up the silence with endless chatter. Rants rest on his lips as he recalls events from earlier in the day, he’s all too consumed with his words to even notice you and Hirugami trailing a few paces behind him.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Hirugami asks lowly, dipping his head to ensure that you can hear him. “Talk to me, (Y/N).”

“I’m fine,” You quietly murmur back, biting down on your tongue and hoping that if you say the lie enough that you’ll start to believe it.

“I know that you aren’t,” Hirugami continues to push, his head tilts back as he stares up at the night sky and not at the frustrated look on your face.

“What do you want me to say, Hirugami?” You finally snap, your anger boiling beneath the surface, your voice is loud enough that it even catches Hoshiumi’s attention.

“What?”

“I have to lose someone special to me, important to me? That I’ll never see again? Do you really think that I am okay? What kind of stupid question is that?!” You spit, voice raising in octaves as your nerve ends begin to fry.

“(Y/N),” Hoshiumi tries to gently rest his hand over yours but you snap your wrist away before he gets the chance.

“No, I am not okay, Hirugami. Stop pushing me about it.” Your water eyes do nothing to help your case and you bitterly try to push them away with the heel of your palm.

“Don’t forget that we are here for you!” Hoshiumi declares, his voice holding that same serious tone that you only hear during matches. “Just tell us. We want to be here for you.”

His words only make your defenses crack even further and when Hirugami opens his arms, you just about lose it. When one of your closest friends offers a hug, who are you to deny it? Even Hirugami hums in thought.

“We’ll always be with you, (Y/N). Don’t go quiet on us.”

Karasuno

“(Y/N),” Sugawara quietly gasps as he enters the gym early one morning. The last thing the setter expected to see was you, bawling your eyes out, just as the sun was beginning to rise. “what’s wrong?”

You push your tears away with your palms before finally looking up to meet your friend’s worried gaze, his doe eyes only making you feel more anxious.

“Nothing, I mean,” You suck in a harsh breath and try to keep the tears at bay, but to no avail. “my cat has to be put down.”

Sugawara can only watch with an aching heart as you curl in on yourself, bringing your knees to your chest as you sob into your hands.

“Sorry, I was trying to stay calm but I just found out and,” You’re unable to speak as another sob wracks your body, Sugawara is by your side before you can even blink. He gently places one of his hands on your band, softly rubbing circles into your skin while trying to calm you down. “I think I am just going to skip practice.”

“No one would blame you,” Your friend gently coos, momentarily making eye contact with a first-year who had just entered the gym. Tsukishima, followed by Yamaguchi, only makes a face at the scene before him as he enters the locker room. Yamaguchi offers the two of you a sympathetic smile and then follows his friend. “people are starting to enter the gym, do you want to leave?”

All you can do is nod.

“Is there anything I can do to help? Or the rest of the team, any of us can help.” Sugawara gently leads you to your shared classroom, offering you tissues from his bag as he does so. “Daichi and Asahi will do anything for you, you know this.” The playfulness in his words makes you softly smile.

“I’ll let you know if I can think of anything.” You reassure him and Sugawara grabs his hand in yours before offering a heartfelt squeeze.

“Can I tell them what’s going on, the team?” Sugawara is surprised by your tight nod and your verbal acceptance.

“I think, if I’m going to be absent from practice the next couple of days then it’s only fair.”

“Hmm, alright,”

The next you saw of any of your team members was until later in the day. Much to your surprise, you were practically tackled by a short first year as he desperately clung to your arm as a supportive gesture.

“(Y/N)! I hear what happened, I’m so sorry,” Hinata pouts, his hair visibly deflating under his sympathy. “I love your cat! You always take the best pictures of them!”

“Oh, thanks, Hinata.” Your smile turns wobbly as you face the first year and you glance up at the ceiling to try and hold back any tears.

“Do you want me to go with you to the vet? Or we can hang out after school to get your mind off of it?”

“Hinata, I really appreciate it, but aren’t you only procrastinate to find a way to get out of doing your homework.” You tease him and gently flick his forehead, to which the younger player’s nose scrunches up in denial.

“No, of course not! Tsukishima is going to help me study!” Hinata almost screeches, desperate to get you to believe him.

“Is he really?” Your disbelief must be apparent on your face, judging by the dejected sigh from Hinata you must’ve caught him right in the lie.

“No."

The rest of the day followed as normal, it was as if nothing had changed but you still had that impending feeling of dread clouded over you.

Well, your day wasn’t completely normal. Even your shyer first years had come up to speak with you, Kageyama and Tsukishima had even gone as far as to mutter their condolences without so much of a hint of sarcasm.

It seemed as if you were still surrounded by the same level of chaos that you were already accustomed to. Except, Nishinoya and Tanaka’s screams in your ear were much quieter than normal.

Your entire team knew something was going on and were all going to support you through it.

Seijoh

“(Y/N)?” Kindaichi gently calls out your name, poking his head around the corner when he hears your quiet sobs. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?” He timidly tries to reach out to you but is too unafraid to say the wrong thing or do the wrong thing to upset you even more.

Kindaichi has no idea of what to do when someone is crying.

“Obviously not.” Kunimi sneers and judgmentally glares at his friend, his overall face softens when he looks back at you. “(Y/N)?”

“I heard my poor manager’s sobs from a mile away! Baby, what’s wrong?” Oikawa pushes past his underclassmen dramatically, skillfully dodging a hit from Iwaizumi when the pet name leaves his lips. The setter sits right next to you on the bench and wraps his arms around your shoulders before pulling you into his chest, the warmth of his chest melts all of your resistance away and you can’t help but sob into his chest.

It’s a few minutes before you can pull yourself together, to even form a coherent sentence.

Iwaizumi sits on the other side of you and gently rubs your back while the two first years had run to find their other upperclassmen.

“My cat,” You start out, trying your best to swallow the sob in your throat. Even as tears well up in your eyes you try to push through it, just to get it out. “she has to be put down.” Although your voice is soft and just barely above a whisper, it still echos in the empty hallway.

“I’m so sorry, (Y/N).” Iwaizumi speaks up and nearly flicks off Oikawa when he notices his captain tearing up. “You know we’re always here for you whenever you need it.”

“Always, always!” Oikawa sobs, finally breaking as he wraps his arms around you even tighter. He practically squeezes the life out of you and refuses to let you go.

And as much as Iwaizumi loves to tease Oikawa for being so sensitive, as the cancer he is, he can’t help but appreciate the sympathy he is able to deliver.

“We’ll be there any day that you need it.”

Iwaizumi and Oikawa are, they follow through with their words, and even rope in Matsukawa and Hanamaki. The other third years don’t even have to be asked when the situation is explained to them, they’re there before Oikawa can even notice it.

“Be graceful.” Oikawa lowly warns with a brightly fake smile, narrowing his eyes at his friends. “We have to be helpful to our manager.”

“Obviously, dumbass.” Iwaizumi spits out and pushes past him to ring your doorbell, patiently waiting for you to answer your door.

“Iwaizumi?” You furrow your brows as you open the door wide enough for just your face to be seen, the wider it grows the more people come into your view. “What are you all doing here?”

“Moral support!” Oikawa pouts as he offers you a hug, one that you gratefully accept. Matsukawa places his hand on Oikawa’s shoulders and leans in just enough for the setter to hear what he has to say.

“Real graceful.” After he pats his shoulder, Matsukawa enters your house with his other friends trailing behind him.

“Do you want something to eat?” Hanamaki offers as he quickly finds himself in your kitchen. “You’ve eaten lately, right?”

“Umm, sorta?” You have to drag Oikawa further into your home and blink away the fresh tears pooling in your eyes once you notice just how quiet it is. “it’s fine.”

“Here, here, they’ll make you something~” Oikawa coos and pushes you onto your couch before sitting down right beside you. Hanamaki has to bite back the insult that is simmering on his tongue.

“As much as I hate to admit it, he’s the best at comfort.” Iwaizumi whispers quietly, trying to keep his glare in front of him and not on his best friend. “Let him do his thing.”

“His thing? You mean sympathy?” Matsukawa nearly rolls his eyes and goes down to sit beside you on the couch.

“I’m sure she loved you very very much, (Y/N)! You always had so many stories about her and so much history together!” Oikawa tries to reassure you and places his hands over the tops of your own. “You can tell me more stories, oh, or let’s name a holiday after her!”

“So good at comfort.” Hanamaki coughs and ducks the moment Iwaizumi swings at him, almost fighting back with the spoon in his hand.

“(Y/N), it was her time and that’s okay, you know that right?” Matsukawa asks you, staring intently at the side of your face as you numbly stare ahead. All you can muster is a weak nod as you feel your throat tighten up and tears stubbornly pinching at the corner of your eyes. “She loved you very much and will be okay, she’s doing better now.”

“I understand, Matsukawa.” You shakily whisper and are unable to swallow the sob in your throat. “It’s just hard without her.”

“I know, (Y/N).”

Oikawa whimpers quietly beside you and pulls you into his chest as he tries to hide his teary expression from your view.

“We will make a beautiful garden for her! Or, or name a street after her!” The captain can’t stop himself from trying to help come up with a comforting memorial, something to help you grieve.

“Whatever it is that you pick (Y/N),” Iwaizumi finally comes into view and pushes an ice cream sandwich to you as an offer. “we’ll be here to help support you. Forever how long you need.”

“Always, (Y/N)!” Hanamaki yells from your kitchen as Matsukawa gently tugs on your sweater.

“For now,” Iwaizumi pauses before taking a seat on your floor. “why don’t you tell us some of your favorite memories while Hanamaki finishes cooking what he thinks to be your favorite dish.”

“It is their favorite! They told me themselves!” Hanamaki retorts back, defending himself as Matsukawa lifts his hand in a gesture meaning he can vouch.

“Or tell us funny stories about her.” Oikawa sniffles, smoothly wiping the tear off of his cheek. “Or we can watch your favorite tv show? Or we can go get your favorite snacks like a little trip down to the convenience store?”

“Whatever it is, (Y/N), we’ll do it.” Iwaizumi tells you firmly, looking you deep enough in the eye for you to know that he means every word of it.

@kiwibirdmother

#kamomedai x reader #karasuno x reader #seijoh x reader #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu x you #haikyuu x reader

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queenofallwitches · 3 years

Text

an update and primer:

so the last winter was weird. I had a complete breakdown, went into psychiatric hospital for 40 days in total. two seperate times.

learnt a heap of new things, met a tonne of cool people and had amazing conversations and few fights but overcome my own demons by that.

brain speaking-I have a scarred brain stem and neurological disorder is not a mental diagnosis, but a neurological disorder, proven by MRI scan, ADHD.

also damage to my basal ganglia, and prefrontal cortex.

neurological diagnosis means ADHD is not a "mental" health issue, as some believe, rather a neurodevelopment disorder caused by structural differences in the ADHD brain.

other neurodevelopment disorders include: Tourettes, Autism, Cerebal Palsy, Dyslexia and other Motor and Intellectual Disabilities. (Which recieve, in my view, a lot of insight, media information and stigma reduction by the advocacy networks surrounding these types of disability).

Over the last few years Autism has been over everything, I've seen mainstream media cover Tourettes and yet ADHD is still HUGELY misunderstood, misconceived and misrepresented in media, be in from the angle of documentaries, personal insight of a "typical" case, films, tv, and other media.

one of the first things my dr told me was "in females it rarely presents as hyperactive red-cordial OD child"

which is what my mother BELIEVES, that is because I have an adopted cousin with the ADHD dx who was that growing up, but the representation I'm told is also divergent for women with a higher IQ score than the average IQ. I come in around 142 and tested 123 at age 3 when I was unable to focus, pay attention and had severe trauma. I tested 142 in grade 8.

I'll share my experience as a female who is intellectually gifted, with higher IQ than average, and an adhd brain:

I've been told gifted and talented "genius" children are harder to diagnose because the symptoms present differently, we hide it better (camouflage) and our focusing can be "faked" by mediocre efforts of academic success.. this is true, I would do the assignment the Sunday night hours deadline, last minute, or have my parents half do it for me, plagiarise it (fuck I've killed my whole academic career now) copied but changed my words

from old 1970s encyclopaedias I KNEW they couldn't cross reference (I went through 15 years of school never studying doing homework or assignments and still had top grades).

I literally did not listen, and spent my classes planning the end of the world survival strategies with my GT friend who, basically helped me with my calculus and hard fucking maths, which was the ONLY 50 minutes of the day I put attention into my work.

now I'm going to be heading back to full-time study in the coming months, I get anxious as the pressure of a Bachelor level degree, and the pressure it takes me to perform, is enough to break me down. I've been advised it might be wise to start light (like a basic vet style diploma) and then build up, which is logical, but I keep thinking I'm meant to be doing my thesis by now. which is the kind of pressure one gets as a kid who is told repeatedly, "your intelligence is exceedingly the average and you can do ANYTHING you want"

I wanted to be an astronaut, a storm chaser, and an architect, a town planner and then a journalist. I always held to being a "FBI agent" or spy (I wonder why). so when I found psychology is really a blend of all these things, I kinda found a niche in a psych and social science double degree. but I'm thinking my academic career is LIFELONG, and due to the fact I also want to work in my field alongside my many written thesis coming, I'll be in academics for a long time. I may fail a few things, which I have to come to terms with. I do not fail easily, or readily, but I'm a perfectionist type-a academic who will put my whole life on the line to achieve "merit". I get exams, I get assessments, I read journals super-easy, I talk the talk and walk the walk so well psychologists who are at masters level compliment me on my "knowledge".

when it comes to mental health and trauma, I will always have the personal attachment, called lived experience, which will make failure and burnout, 100 percent realistic. I have to boundary up, bootstraps on, and prepare that yes, my personal "bias" will probably be entwined in this.

which is why I'm looking at the social science for the statistics and thesis writing side of things, and the counselling for the trained therapist side. either way, the degree of counselling requires so much self-insight, and then the social-science will back me away from personifying it. the other choice is criminology, which leads to forensic psychology, which is eternally fascinating. my main concern is the pro-pedophile content Ill be up against, which will look at the anatomy of a shoplifter akin to the devil, and leave the pedophile in the DSM-5 dx "paraphilia" box.

I'm not joining or jumping to anything.

either way I've got 2 year of credit, a heap of pathways and a lot of "academic momentum" from all my life being aimed to be "academic powerhouse". I went through my files and found a lot of awards I'd won in my high school, and top place in the competitions we would be entering in. I remember feeling so sad if I had a "credit" vs a distinction or high distinction, only to see now, a credit in university maths in year 9 is a skillset I don't have anymore so, good on me. or a credit in English, or Science at that age was pretty impressive, considering these tests were random and not studied for.

just a general skills assessment only the top 30 kids in the year were to take on a year by year basis and put out to vet from the top universities and taken by other kids in the same grade around the state.

it puts so much focus on my intelligence, because it's primed to be that way, I know that is true. I know I feel good being academically successful and it gives me a feeling of "achievement" but is it really for me?

I also found 2 letters from my local politicians offering me job placement, work experience and I was 1/4 kids in my 10th grade graduation tom get the letter, and due to my behaviour I pissed ALL the idiots who bullied me off. I was "too pretty to be a nerd" "too smart to be pOpUlAr".

so I made a group of misfits, who are all highly intelligent, creative and my group had the ONLY gay male in the school AND THIS IS BEFORE YOU FUCKING RETARDS MADE IT "COOL". he was bullied badly, so fuck you, you fucks claim "liberalism" but I bet you were the type of idiot who bullied guys like him in high school while you pretended to like my chemical romance and fake cut yourselves. I hate you all, forever.

my grade was full of idiots who were fake emo, who left the scene the moment the scene changed to dub-step and club music. I was there, watching you all, like sonny Moore, went from FFTL to that dubstep skrillex shit he started in 2009.

I dated you, hooked up with you and I went to your gigs. I know who was real and who was fake. I met some of you years later and realised the more emotive ones were the less "alternative appearing".

I can say 1/10000 emo guys from the 00s were genuinely Into the music and scene for the right reasons based on my dating history and this can and will be analysed statistically using SPSS one day to prove a lot. I've had too many relationships from each sub-culture and I have had 4-11 males at a time per public "output" of my energy pursue me over life.

I'm not being cocky when I say I have a long line of "suitors" and its banked back about 50 men. it's been a thing I've avoided as it seems to grow based on my body shape, attitude, appearance, so I am currently out of touch with dating scenes, no interest to try that ANYWAY, given the fact that I have had so many LONG TERM relationships ANYWAY. I can't see another one going well, and at this case, I'm living with an ex but we never went on conventional and now our families label this 3 things: "asexual", "polyamorous" and "open relationship". I'm also "bisexual" but this all to humans outside, looks ridiculous on paper. (wild orgies and lots of swinging or some stupid sex magick probably is what J brother literally thinks we do).

bc humans are intrinsically designed to need to label things they don't understand. we share a lease, not a relationship, and fucking polyamorous, I WISH. there are no girl-girl-guy 3 some, or orgies, or sex magic parties.

this has changed the attitude and perception of this "relation' which Is non-romantic, non-sexual. he can date and likely, will, as can I , and I likely won't date.

I would say 14/15 have had ADHD, or other mental illness and or trauma. which means to me, nothing at all.

I think this "open book" non romantic relationship style of "friends and roommates" not sexual.

attachment is misunderstood by others but works well fro my adhd, meaning I'm not expected to marry, or be a wife in any capacity. he is free to do what he wants, as I am, and open communication is a novel frontier I brought into this in the start, and stayed with for the duration. we fight, but I fight with a lot of people in my life over many petty things. also down to my adhd, I believe, I have rejection sensitive dysphoria, which makes me hypersensitive to rejection, perceived or real.

im not sure if this is trauma or adhd or both. but

I have used sexuality as a weapon in many relationships but it cannot or will not be used here, so I have had to resort to uncovering parts of myself which I never knew, which will stay with me even if he decided to marry and wife up in 5 years, which I'm okay and expecting him to do, and I would much rather that then be trapped in a situation where I cannot be that "wife/mother archetype" as I'm too "femme fatal/other-woman/sex-laced seductress and siren" a "FWB, unicorn, drug buddy, hook-up where im a therapist" or "intellectual and cognitive mind-bender work-study obsessed woman".

both at once and many types of human, including one who is a full-time ceremonial magician of 7 years. I will drink, drug, fuck, fight like males and still be more feminine and high maintenance than 89% of women. I grew up a tomboy and don't mind getting into fun, adventure based situations, like hiking, or anything adrenaline, I would only be reluctant to eat weird shit.

I also have many "neurological" issues including ADHD, and trauma which causes a rupture in the average human and I dating.

I'll tell you how many men have said "you are the unicorn" and then realised what that means, I went as far as canvasing the PUA world back in 2014 after reading the game, a book on PUA, which is essentially, pick up artistry, based on NLP and hypnosis. I did this after reading the copy my ex in 2008 handed me before we dated saying "I gave this up for you". it took me years to open the book, buy when I did I truly believed the only way I would fall in love again, was through PUA. that failed in so many ways but gave me a training foundation for men who were candidates for that, I have trained up J, and the way that sounds is BAD. I know, but I got a lot of value myself, I just don't see it how I wanted to see it.

but that was my original intent, and I achieved this he knows that, knew it was happening and evolved for the best self.

I am thinking we can modulate this into a business model for how I was operating in the BDSM world was mainly psychological, not physical.

I get told all of is incredibly intimidating (I am told) to women and men.

I don't really care anymore, because people have always seen this part of me in the wrong way ANYWAY, but I own who I am NOW. which is what I needed ANYWAY. so it cannot be stolen again, and sexual healing has come from abstinence ironically.

I also don't care what or who is trying to tear up my relations, toxic or not toxic, all people around me will be on a healing journey by default, or cut out of my life, for I am radiating that energy so brightly its impossible NOT to feel that pull.

I will drag your shadows into the light, and make your secrets spin from your lips into my consciousness. its not what I do but its what is design.

I make your weaknesses mountains to climb over. you cannot hide from these in my presence, I won't be this controlling or obsessive female who wants 24-7 attention as I have a life full of meaning without love or sex. I don't want to be wined, dined or expensively gifted, unless specially requested.

I don't want love letters or romantic declarations, this isn't some femnazi bullshit, but it triggers me. I appreciate the efforts and won't make you feel bad about your insecurities, for mine are probably 30 x more pronounced.

I appreciate small things, that most males won't or don't know how to do. like remembering things I've said and being thoughtful. or knowing my silence isn't personal, or a game, but a protective wall. I've had songs sung too me, guitars played, songs written, or things made in ways that are heartfelt. but I've always had them used against me too. so it is the context. I value time, energy, conversations of depth and reciprocal exchange. I also value trauma understanding, my alters and fragments being accepted and valued as me as a whole and a person who is not afraid, or scared of stupid stuff like sensitivity, emotions, feelings as raw as my own. men feel intensely too, lol.

but will only give oral sex 100 times before I don't recieve it, I can communicate now so that wouldn't happen.

but I won't be a bitch about this stuff. I am extremely feminine and care in ways other people, do not, I forget nothing people tell me, so it can be a reward or reverse uno card pull in a fight, but I am not evil or deviant in my relations. I react, depending on how you treat me. I don't need your money, or providing source of income to be okay as I am my own queen, however sharing resources is okay to build something. I don't need to be seduced, but will need to be shown a person is trustworthy.

few cross that.

that will always be time-endurance and testing. there are ground rules I don't play with, or play games. or like being forced or forged into something I'm not. I know abusive and I know safe, and I am a psychology expert, trained psychotherapist and study humans for fun, so I'll always be analysing things.

and I know red flags and I know ego, I know how to placate and please and pleasure, but will only do so, for a bigger and better reason than the mere act of seduction. which is without value and transactional to someone like me, I won't lie.

and I know every tactic in the book, for the book was written by someone like me, many lives ago, and my karma is being burnt for that book.

in terms of walls, I have many, may it be called a maze. or labrnyth.

I will teach you things you never thought you'd know, and change your life in ways you won't ever be able to go back to before. I will blow your mind, sexually, emotionally, intellectually, on all levels, and I'll make your friends and family love me.

I'll bring your walls down and you won't be able to understand this, because you don't understand me, and thats ok.

but I'll always understanding you and make your life better because thats what I do anyway, and people talk to me about things I will never share, as I keep secrets. I am jealous, of everything but, only because I am attached in a disorganised way, and working on that.(I won't even mention how man women or men don't know basic psychology of themselves). I also am a therapist , for my friends and family too.i should not be , but I am. I care, I listen, If you think I'm not listening, I'm still listening. sometimes I interrupt, because I have ADHD and I am horrible at resolute planning, or being "normal". but I don't want to be normal anyway. I need you to recognise and understand my shit, for that is what I do for everyone in my life, and I have helped more than I receive.

I'll probably accidentally give you therapy, but thats fine, because you will uncover your depths and find meaning in this. it's not something that goes bad unless you are fundamentally, evil, even the most abusive relationship I was in, was benefited from this process. yes he's still narcissistic, but he is self-aware. and did I benefit, never, just know the anatomy of self-proclaimed narc and I still can't hate him. will get my civil claim one day.

I will fuck your mind without meaning too. but thats because I fuck my own mind. but the meaning is made in the man- some find this highly offensive or personal (its not). I fuck minds by my own overthinking, or over perception on many levels of reality. so join the ride, or don't come along at all. because once the rollercoaster is in motion, I have no control of what may or may not happen. it's purely experimental.

I am experimental.

and the women who are judging me, are not any better.

look within, and shut the fuck up. self-improve and quit this jealous divide and conquer bitchiness. I HATE gossip, bitches, snitches and fakers.

I look to other women who are intellectually, physically and spiritually "individual". and find value in superior status to my own, which is something my narcissistic ex taught me.

I look for mentors, and teachers and people who will teach me how to improve myself, which I am fearful to reconnect after something is amazing and I can't give anything back of positive value. I am sorry I am working on that.

I won't devalue those below me, but I also need to be mutually benefiting from a relationship.

I dont drag people down, I may disappear if I feel I am doing this by mistake. I am flakey as fuck, and sorry for that. its anxiety and lack of perfectionism, so I am wrong and bad for this. I can change. will change.

if you can find value with my relation, personal professional or romantic, we can move into a symbiotic beneficial agreement based on mutual "terms". but many won't or cannot see this, nor do I impose my bullshit into the lives of randoms at this age.

I don't care if this is cruel, it's real.

I value loyalty, compassion, self-insight/awareness, someone who understands all parts-spirituality, metaphysics while still having intellectual & logical & analytical brain-sight.

I enjoy music, magick and learning new things.

I do not care about appearances I dont think ive dated based on one time. I do value connections and chemistry which is far-few between, I hate fakers. I smell insincerity miles away. but I do respect women who are well-presented, or beautiful, with hair beauty and makeup, I can't do this shit well, so I look up to those who are in professions who do it like art. I find them to be genius level queens who scare me.

I call out bad behaviour and make people uncomfortable if they are repressed. I will change you without even meaning too, I don't even need to date you. its just my presence, over time, amplified by the intensity of the dynamics.

I don't want simplicity, but I also don't need over complexity.

I value passion, independence, creativity, curiosity, problem-solving, deep-disscussions, shared adventures and some occasional risk-taking (lol), sensuality and sexuality for a common cause beyond physical pleasure. I like being taught but not micromanaged. I need my own independence, and need to be trusted with that. I hate being scolded for that like a child, or being pushed to change my ways to conform to societal values. which I will push back and refuse to do. which is not healthy. I don't adult like many others do, but I try to proceed in other ways. and learn to adult like normal people, accept me.

I also value myself, and how I can be celebrated, enhanced and improved vs. the opposite.

I give space, and have boundaries, and understand human psychology, sexuality and relationships in ways few others unless they are trained, can do.

I value MY time. so you can have space to value YOURS. I dont need to be in anyones pocket for a long time. I love being alone, and being around people who are stimulating, but draining people will be drained out of my life quicker than I intend. I am sorry for the people who felt I disappeared, when I was only trying to be 'fair', if I feel I'm a bad influence, I will work on myself until I'm not. I'm still working on it.

I also use this psychology awareness, to enhance communication, connection. you may or may not become an accidental guinea pig. I will be upfront that I am experimental, but that is part of the buy ticket and take the ride. lets work together. not apart.

I am coming from a place of love, and love is what I feel for my animals, which you will be adopting as children.which I want to stop experiments being done on. I love love, in all ways, but hate cruelty of animals and children, violence and suffering. I dont advocate justice, because I find life is fucking cruel, unfair and unjust. by default, so I focus on myself. what can be changed, and what I am able to do in my own locus on control. I will always find myself drawn to the outsiders, the misfits, the vagabonds, the misunderstood. I want to help people who are society, or socially, disadvantaged by trauma and mental illness, but only when I have ability to help myself.

it's a journey.

I will not date anyone who is cruel to animals, outside of specify magical sacrifice, there is not any place for that. nor will I date or fraternise with anything or anyone linked or associated with pedophilia. I won't judge anyone on anything that are outside animal cruelty and pedophilia. I don't and haven't. I keep on good terms with every ex, bar 1 whom I only apologised too this year. it felt good to do that. I change my behaviour.

I am open, but also highly attuned to both logical, factual, empirical , scientific worlds, and spiritual, intuitive, psychic and the "collective unconscious". I walk in both these realms, and I am "conventionally attractive". which puts a lot of pressure on me, to be "stupid". I am always dumbing myself down to fit into normality, but I look ridiculous if I do that so I peacock my intellect.

only to be misconceived.

I give up because I no longer care how anyone but MYSELF can see ME. I won't dumb myself down , but I can enhance you UP. prepare yourself for graded education, evolution and self-growth on mass scales.sorry not sorry.

that sucks for the people who want to be living vicariously through me, for making up to lost trauma years, for family who sold me out for the success I'd bring home, or fake trauma enmeshed friends, or whatever they want or need from me. I value my time and energy, and have given that in abundance, and if you want to be with nut only "one part of me that is alters". I can't provide that now. not sorry.

I have to work on something or not be in a dynamic at all.

I no longer can switch on demand to adapt for you, it will not be effective and that upsets a lot of people. especially now I'm sober. harder to handle this, as I see the world for its ways and why it is, more vividly. I haven't had alcohol for almost 2 months, although, I could drink, I haven't.

I can't do it, anymore. it, being, faking, my selves fronting to impress. I can't. I have no more left to give, and I'm expected by everyone to be a way I can't do it in the way they want.

I will go to another year long outpatient DBT, followed by 10 weeks of A-C-T therapy, and however many ECT OR TMS may or may not help. I'm told it won't (ect) work. but TMS, is something I am open too. but I am telling you, none of this psychotherapy, that will be based on dbt skills, day therapy, intensive skills training, recommencing my studying, and resuming "life worth living" will or can wipe the traumas I've "recovered" memories for.

I will also shut the fuck up, and tell nobody about this if you leave me alone, I told that to my family, and this is open letter to the watchers, stalkers and perps who read this openly as I track the hits on here and have 200+ visits a day every day for the last month. globally. no idea how or who you are but I think its the same people who called the police for the "ayreon song lyrics" seen to be a suicide not last October.

thanks for that wake up call, I have shut the fuck up, since December, more so now. I will burn the journals, or lock them up.

my recovery is not linear, not yet fully integrated and I trust nobody so I don't think my psychotherapy will be deep, I focus on things like ADHD AND my EDNOS. and dbt skills. I won't be talking about sexual traumas.

enjoy the update, and thanks for the "attention".

I have my goals, my work, my meaning and what my life should and could and will look like, but I will not share that with anyone. that means everyone right now.

I've been tested, traumatised and terrorised to the point of not-tolerant of anyone who may bring that back, and banish the fuck out of my sphere every moment I need.

take me as I am, or watch me as I go, which I will go, where I am not wanted I will remove myself, but I will find where I am celebrated because I create that.

I will rise up against all adversity every time but that is survival and that created a resilient and brave woman, in me. who will not be destroyed or decomposed by humans who are fundamentally fucking evil.

I gift you my truth, in progression, and give up the pain of the past.

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marswritingss · 4 years

Text

Hq boys w s/o with tourettes

req: Henlo!! May I request your favorite Haikyuu characters with a s/o who has Tourette’s and them finding out about it? If you can’t write Tourette’s or can’t really understand how about your favorite Haikyuu characters with a hacker s/o and them finding out about it? Headcanons or scenarios I don’t mind

me: i did this one with another group of fav characters hihi (suga and shirabu bc they’re the calm but internally screaming™️ in a stressful situation)

warnings: there’s mentions of blood and kinda inconscious self harm (there aren’t any suicidal thoughts, but reader ends up hurting themselves bc it’s a tic) in shirabu’s part. kinda angsty and fluffy at the end :))

sugawara koushi

– so

– you guys were chilling in his sofa

– watching tv while you were playing w the sleeves of his hoodie

– he’s probably spread through the whole sofa

– lmao

– ngl i see him as someone who would get really comfy everywhere

– so he’s taken the whole sofa except the part where you are bc that’s holy territory

– i’m spreading away rip

– anyway the point is that it’s really warm and comfy compared to the rainy day that is displaying outside

– it’s hot as fuck here let me fantasize

– that’s all fine until you see that your mom is calling you

– you’re like what

– believe it or not

– your mom NEVER

– and i say NEVER

– calls you

– like

– she only sends you messages bc the important stuff is delivered by your dad

– so you’re starting to worry

– and suga is like what happens bb

– but lets you get out from the warm cage that his arms are and answer the phone bc he R E S P E C T S

– idk why i wrote it like that

– anyway

– so when you hear your mom telling you that your dog is very sick and he’s being sent to the vet (bc you’re very attached to that fluffy ball 🥺)

– you start with one of your ticks

– you’ve always been very fidgety so suga doesn’t really worry at first

– but then you start blinking in a really monotone pace and almost scrunching your lids closed

– does that make sense

– like

– you’re closing them every two seconds and very strongly and patting your foot against the floor every three

– and he starts worrying

– so he tries to calm you by rubbing your back

– but it doesn’t help because it’s not something you can really control

– you’ve been quite lucky since you haven’t had any strong ticks like verbal ticks or complex ones

– but once in a while, when it gets stressfull the ticks get stronger

– and this is one of these times

– but you have medicine for that

– so you ask suga to hand you your backpack

“hey baby”

“yeah? what do you need? water? i can leave you alone if you need to... not what i’d prefer since i think it’s better...” you shut him down

“please can you get my backpack?”

– he SPRINTS to where it is

– man’s really worried

– when he sees you taking a tube of pills he gets worried

– did you have anxiety and he didn’t know?

– damnit he should’ve known

– he should have been useful

– what if you’ve had any panick attack and he doesn’t know?

– oh shit... maybe that was why you were moving your foot in circles in that exam

– SHIT HE SHOULD’VE IMAGIN-

“suga” you call him. he’s been looking at the floor looking distressed

“yeah?”

“i should’ve told you but-”

“IT’S OKAY Y/N I SHOULD’VE KNOWN, PLEASE IF YOU EVER NEED HELP JUST ASK ME”

– you’re confused

– does he know?

– you’re pretty sure only your parents know

“please, whenever you have any panick attacks, call me, i’d love to help you”

– oooH so he just imagined

– to be fair, the pills do look like antidepressants

– so you take his hands after swallowing your pills and your ticks lessen a bit

– it’s still kinda stressful but manageable

“baby” you say “ i don’t have depression” he looks at you still worried because that’s not he was thinking “not even anxiety” you say. your ticks are now only acting up with your foot so it isn’t that stressful

“you don’t?”

“no” you say. “i have tourettes syndrome”

– you don’t say it with a lot of ceremonies. he’s kinda amazed by the fact that you didn’t make it a big of a deal

“oh”

“yeah. it isn’t very strong because i have medicine, so it’s easier to handle. i just wanted to let you know”

– be prepared for this bitch to worry about you 24/7

– like

– ask you everyday how are you doing and if you’ve had any attack

– but privately bc man doesn’t know if you want to talk about it and will talk about it in public only if you tell him

– he will also cuddle with you everytime you have an attack and feel distressed bc he RELAXES YOU

– damnit this is long

shirabu kenjirou

– this bitch probably suspects it already

– your parents don’t have a really good relationship and you sometimes stop walking to exactly touch the part under you right kneecap

– you’ll be walking together to class and he’ll have to wait for you because you stopped to lift your knee and touch the spot under it

– but he doesn’t ask because he doesn’t want to overwhelm you

– but one day you start pinching it with your pen

– but damn

– you’re quite strong so at the end of your class, after reuniting with you in the dining room, he spots your bleeding kneecap

– it isn’t a bloody festival but it does look quite bad

– so he DRAGS you to the club room

– bc there’s still half an hour left before practice starts

– he grabs alcohol (in spain we have this thing called betadine but idk how to call it in english) (it’s made of iodum and something else i can’t remember so i’ll go w alcohol) and a bunch of stuff so he can cure that wound

– he’s curious (and worried ngl) so he has to tell himself to calm down and fucking help you before asking any questions

– you don’t have your pen so you keep pinching it with your hand

– and he’s been staring at it blankly while you keep hurting yourself

– yes i forgot that no, reader hadn’t stopped pinching it i’M DUMB

– anyway

– this is getting weird bc now i realised a friend of mine might read this

– hi cam if you’re reading this

– jfc

– SO

– what happens next is

– this bitch tries calming you a little

– you were distressed bc your parents had started throwing shit at each other and gotten physical again

– he didn’t ask, but you told him anyway because you felt like letting it all out

“shit...” he says he hugs you but stops mid-hug since you move your hand to touch it

– but he stops it

– so you tell him about it

– he nods and asks you if you’re on medication

– but you’re not bc your parents are so up their asses they won’t even care about THEIR FUCKING KID

– jfc i hate parents like that

– so he asks you if you can get medication without their permission

– the answer is not

– damnit why did i do this so angsty wtf

– anyway at the end he searches up shit and finds out a lot of shit to help you

– did you know that it was found that a lot of tourettes kids had magnessium deficiency

– so yeah he searches up and tells you to eat foods with magnessium so it’s more bearable

– if one of your tics like the pen one ends up making you hurt yourself he’ll help you with it and be there for you

– my brain is dead i’m an instagram editor and i had to finish an edit today i’m so sorry-

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu hcs #sugawara x y/n #sugawara hcs #sugawara x reader #shirabu x reader #shirabu x y/n

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asterekmess · 4 years

Text

S3A - E7

So, I’m starting this episode right after finishing the last one, and I’m still kinda riled up from that bullshit. Let’s get to pissing me off and breaking my heart then. Blood/gore mention warnings for this episode.

Exercise your eyes! Read More!

Let’s just jump right in:

Starting right off with forcing myself into putting the tag in. Scott literally just listened to his mother say that giving this woman something to lessen the pain of her injuries could complicate things and make it harder to treat her. This is like an important medical thing. While yes, it’s really upsetting that she would need to keep being in pain, she needs to be able to identify and explain what exactly she’s feeling to the doctor who is going to be arrive really soon (though I have no idea why the nurses aren’t able to get these people set up. That’s what they did with me? I didn’t see a doctor for like an hour, but they didn’t make me sit in the fucking waiting room before dealing with the blood.) Her pain level will have a direct effect on how quickly she’s seen. This moment is meant to show Scott being soft-hearted, but with the doctor only ten minutes away, he could literally be making this woman’s life a whole lot worse by taking away her pain right now. There is a reason why after I was given pain killers for my surgery I wasn’t allowed to be near any heavy objects. Her pain is keeping her from irritating her wound. She could fuck herself up if she stops responding to the signals her body is trying to send her. This is not the right way to make Scott look kind. He looks like an idiot who doesn’t even listen to his nurse mom.

WHo the FUCK would keep driving with a bunch of bugs in the car? She’s not even on the interstate! PULL OVER IDIOT.

I’m actually agreeing with Scott on this one. I have no idea how medically accurate what melissa just did was, but it look pretty damn cool.

WHat the hell is this conversation? First off, Ethan, you made VERY clear in the last episode that you want to bite Danny even after he said no. Even if that was the possession talking, it was based on what YOU wanted. Danny’s not safe with you. Second, what is this bullshit about knowing Lydia is the important one? Important to Stiles and ALlison maybe. Scott literally never talks to Lydia. THIRD how exactly did you guys come up with that idea when you went after them on the FIRST DAY? You sniff him on them? cus’ if so your noses are damaged.

what...what is with this ghost car shit? She was in the middle of the city, more than ten minutes away from the hospital and behind the traffic caused by the ten car pileup. How did the car drive itself ALL THE WAY here?

Ethan. you’re an alpha. you have night vision. You shouldn’t need to ask what the fucking MOTH in the middle of the driver’s seat is.

HI NOAH! I’ll be honest. I missed you. You’re a really good actor and you just make me feel all safe. WHich is weird bc I hate father figures and I hate cops. Linden Ashby is just too good, I guess.

It’s so frustrating watching Deucalion walk around with humans pretending to be blind. Because he is. He is Pretending to be blind. He’s already proved like a dozen times that he can see just fine when he turns on the Alpha eyes. Which doesn’t make SENSE because Deaton said his iris’ were permanently damaged. He doesn’t have two different sets of eyes! And it sucks, bc they put in these little things that it would’ve been awesome to see if they included an actual blind person properly. The casual use of the cane, taking someone’s elbow and the trust that implies, and even this. Having (that looks like ethan’s coat) Ethan explain what’s in front of Deucalion, describing the scene to him.

DEREK YOUR SECURITY SYSTEM SUCKS. HOW DID THEY DO THAT WITHOUT YOU WAKING UP? WITHOUT CORA NOTICING?

Also, Cora, you look amazing, can you please be my friend and can I hug you? I love your shirt.

I HATE THIS BITCH. Fuck you Julia.

uhh....why is an English teacher filling in for a chemistry/geometry teacher? That’s not how substitutes work. Making a joke out of it doesn’t make it make any more sense. SHe shouldn’t be doing that, especially if Harris has been missing for a while.

So your office can keep werewolves out, but not darach? Okay, let me go full conspiracy theorist here. we only know Deaton saw the moths because we see it. He just tells Scott that he’s going to be taken. This is a story that Scott is telling, so he couldn’t know that deaton saw the moths unless deaton told him. Julia is currently teaching a class. Are you seriously saying she doesn’t need to be involved at all in order to do these kidnappings? She can just put them on a timer and let the autmoatic spellwork do the job for her? OR Is deaton lying about being taken, and this is just a test he came up with to force Scott’s “True Alpha”ness to the surface? JUlia clearly had other plans for her sacrifice. I don’t think Deaton was a ‘distraction’ to keep Scott from finding the actual sacrifice. I think it was Deaton using the situation to his advantage.

why does deaton have a canine acupressure chart on his wall? I’ve never seen a vet’s office have that. Does he do alternative medicine for dogs??

BOYD. ISAAC. MY BOYS. I can’t tell you how much I love this. It’s so sneaky and annoying and so pack-ish I just love it so much.

BOYD YOU ARE A GENIUS BOY AND I LOVE YOU.

I swear, like ninety percent of what the ‘adults’ in this show say is ‘go back to school.’ ‘shouldn’t you be in school’ yadda yadda. Like, they want so badly to write the teens as though they never have to go to class, so they just make them constantly skip and ignore that these are fucking teenagers who would never be able to get out of school that easily, and they handwave it with someone occasionally going ‘hmm, weird that they aren’t in school’ and then just ignoring it? Truancy is like a THING that you can get in major trouble for. At least Boyd and Isaac called in sick. You know how you could have avoided all this class bullshit? PUT THE FUCKING SEASON DURING THE SUMMERTIME DUMBASSES.

It just hurts seeing Stiles beg for Scott not to make him tell his dad, and then turn right around and admit that it’s not okay for him to let other people suffer just because it scares him that he might lose his only parent. Like, he walks into that sacrifice with eyes wide fucking open and it hurts.

I’m not talking about these dumb sex scenes anymore. I’m so tired of them.

OKay, can we talk about the fire alarm thing though? It sounds like a jokey kind of thing with Aiden teasing Lydia about wanting to leave during the fire alarm but... Remember how Lydia was haunted by Peter’s burnt corpse? How she can hear the cries of the dead, and how she went wandering into the crumbling remains of the Hale house? There’s every chance that Lydia remembers the fire through Peter’s eyes. I wouldn’t be surprised if she was forever freaked by fire alarms.

Man, Cora and Lydia, together? The sass involved? If I didn’t ship Allydia so hard, I’d totally ship Cora and Lydia.

ONce again, I wanna point out that AIDEN IS A MURDERER. Literally all it would take is someone Explaining to Lydia that he is serial killer and she’d never touch him again.

Cora and Stiles together? I’m loving it. I just, wanna point out that when Scott showed up Cora couldn’t have given less of a shit. But here....Cora doesn’t remotely question Stiles’ authority here. She immediately goes along with it and when he tells her to let go of Cora she does. Even though she has no real reason to. When she asks about the spirit board, it’s a legit question and she doesn’t argue or make fun.

PLus there’s the whole ‘Well do you know any spirits” which straight up just confirms for me that ghosts and shit are real in this universe. I trust the Hales as lore sources and Cora’s matter-of-fact tone is good enough for me.

jesus christ i wanna get deucalion and Peter in a room together and watch them just...monologue random facts and trivia at each other endlessly. “Lacrosse was originally played by Native Americans.” “Do you know what a metronome is?” Guys. come on.

Exasperated Stiles is literally my favorite Stiles. “We’re trying to save lives here for the love of god” “YOU”RE SOMETHING, OKay? JUST put out your Hand” It’s so fucking good.

Someone EXPLAIN TO ME how Scott learned to do fucking gymnastics. WHEN DID HE LEARN THIS? I hate this bullshit “I’m a werewolf, so I can do anything” shit. Especially since it’s LITERALLY just Scott they let do it. Everyone else has to actually do the work to learn it.

So...how exactly does Deucalion know where Deaton is? This literally just supports my theory that Deaton set the whole thing up.

ALSO, since I already have the tag I feel no shame in pointing out that Scott didn’t even HESITATE when he learned Derek was going to die. He immediately asked about Deaton. Yeah yeah, Deaton is a father figure to him, but if that’s an acceptable excuse for Scott to use now, then it should count as an acceptable one when it’s STILES” FATHER BEING THREATENED (but I digress, we’re not there yet.)

How did I never notice that Lydia’s Left handed?

andd.....how did Lydia know that? How did Scott know that? What did Deucalion say that even remotely hints at Danny? Scott doesn’t know about Danny’s paper...what?

Fuck yeah, vengeful Boyd. I dig it.

uh....why couldn’t allison just stand next to Scott in the closet. you know, like she did while he was getting in? Also, why was Allison hiding with him anyway? It’s HER HOUSE and HER BEDROOM.

um....okay, i know that we all like the sterek fics where they have to hide in the closet and one of them pops a boner...but I’mma be real, it’s a lot more uncomfortable when I know she broke up with Scott and they’ve been in there for like ten seconds. Plus there’s the whole knowing that she DEFINITELY has enough room to move away and so does he. *shrug*

Side note: Allison where the fuck do you get these clothes? THey’re both awesome and...kinda weird? Did you buy that dress in france?

okay, i’ll admit it, i do actually kinda like the camera angle through the map, with the blacklight lighting up the symbols (though the symbols flash on and off a little too fast). It’s kinda cool.

uh, how would taking the picture help? You don’t have the blacklight over it? None of the markings are visible anymore

why does Chris keep walking in and out? AND WHY DIDN”T ALLISON DO THAT THE FIRST TIME?

Stiles in plaid and Converse? Yes. Yes. please. That’s so my aesthetic I’m so fucking jealous. He looks COMFY.

This whole interaction is just so fucking weird XD

But like, why would Stiles know to go through Danny’s stuff instead of just asking him why he might’ve been targeted??

HOW WOULD THEY KNOW TO CUT THE POWER? THIS DOESN’T MAKE SENSE. Why does the ALpha pack keep showing up with way more information than they should have? It’s so annoying! It’s one thing if Morrell is feeding them information, but she wouldn’t have KNOWN about this! This was a good plan and there’s NO REASON the Alphas should’ve known what Boyd, Isaac, and Derek were doing! What the fuck?

....god i love Derek’s red eyes.

....god i hate that I know where this is going.

....god i wish he’d just let them tear her apart.

I know that it’s meant to be setting up the cora/stiles thing, but I love that she doesn’t hesitate to touch him, and that when she stops him it’s with a very quiet “stop.” She’s really gentle with him, which is just fucking nice. Werewolves taking care to be gentle with Stiles is like...nice.

Since when did Scott know about the plan with Boyd and Isaac? Since when did Stiles know? Is Boyd seriously texting Cora while Derek and Kali are fighting, or did he text her as soon as the power was cut?

is this the first time we see a werewolf bounce off the mountain ash? I mean, I think so, but we also see Peter in S1 try to get past some. There’s no glowing when he comes into contact with the shield. It’s the same with Isaac and Erica in s2. I mean...I guess they’re just trying to upgrade the ash stuff? I gotta say though, I kinda prefered when there were no special effects. It seemed cooler when literally the only thing making it work was belief and having this totally invisible barrier that Peter couldn’t cross. It was cool.

....i think i’m procrastinating seeing the end of this fight. I’m gonna fucking cry.

Why...why does Isaac turn and yell ‘wait’ to Boyd when he was the one running forward to Julia? I am confusion.

Dude, if Alphas could break through mountain ash barriers then Talia Hale WOULDN”T HAVE DIED. THE HALE PACK WOULDn’T HAVE DIED.

I wanna point out here, that this fight between Derek and Kali makes sense for once. Him losing makes sense. We know that the Alphas are much older than they look, or at least Kali, Deucalion and Ennis were. Aiden and Ethan don’t show up in that flashback. ANyway, Kali’s probably in her thirties or forties. SHe’s much older than Derek and she’s been fighting for a lot longer, not to mention fighting to kill.

Seriously, someone get my boy a quarterstaff to knock her feet away.

I really really don’t understand this stuff. Why is it whenever people (I mean Derek, because it’s literally always Derek) get forced to use their werewolf claws/teeth (because again I cannot believe this is happening more than once) he for some reason can’t just...shift back? Retract his claws and fangs? Derek has amazing control, he should totally have been able to do it. With the venom it made sense, he was paralyzed. But now??

What exactly was the fucking point of having Scott break the mountain ash barrier, just to have the sheriff show up and shoot Deaton down? That was literally useless.

also, Noah is an amazing shot. Hot damn.

ALSO. LIterally all this info about true alphas is being whispered to Scott when he’s all alone? How the fuck am i supposed to trust that deaton even ever said that shit to Scott? He could totally be lying about it.

WHAT KIND OF TOTAL BULLSHIT BACKWARDS ASS PLOTLINE IS THIS? After half the season being about Deucalion attacking Derek and trying to get him into the pack, suddenly “Deucalion isn’t after Derek, he’s after you” WHAT? THat’s the STUPIDEST LAZIEST SHIT I’VE EVER SEEN.

and to end my rant BOYD SHOULD NOT HAVE DIED. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? PETER STUCK HIS ENTIRE HAND THROUGH DEREK”S CHEST IN SEASON 1 WHIL IN HIS ALPHA FORM AND THREW HIM INTO A WALL AND DEREK SURVIVED JUST FINE. WHAT IS THIS NONSENSE???

Final Thoughts: No. No, no, no no, no, and no. The ‘plotline’ of this episode is literally like fifteen things that have nothing to do with each other.

Admittedly, there were a few nice moments. Cora, Lydia, and Stiles was an awesome trio. Boyd, Isaac, and Derek was an awesome trio. The sheriff? Amazing. Melissa? A fucking hero. Danny, a genius saint.

All in all, I’m going to tear this episode to shreds in order to rewrite it. Get fucked, Davis.

#personal #anti-scott mccall #TeenWolf-Rewatch

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writingquestionsanswered · 5 years

Note

I am ready to share my WIP with people (yay) but I have so many questions. I remember when writing my Bachelor's thesis I could send it off to different people and they would each proofread different aspects (spelling, formal stuff, comprehension etc.) would that be a good tactic for fiction too? At what point should I consider hiring an editor when traditional publishing is my goal? Is it necessary to put something like a none disclosure agreement in front of everything I share? (1/2)

or does that make me look paranoid? And what is a good tool for sharing your work? I figured something like google docs would work well bc it makes sharing things via link easy but then again is it good when everybody can read all the critiques other people have? I also figured I would share one maybe two chapters at a time and add some questions at the end of each section for people to answer. I really don’t know what the protocol is here, would be grateful for some of your awesome advice

Guide: The Feedback Process

First, congratulations on getting to this point!

1) “When writing my Bachelor’s thesis I could send it off to different people and they would each proofread different aspects (spelling, formal stuff, comprehension etc.) would that be a good tactic for fiction too?”

Sort of… Everyone has a slightly different process, but here are the typical steps:

Alpha Readers

Many writers share their manuscript with a friend, family member, or writer friend after the first or second draft is complete. This person is known as an “alpha reader” because they’re the first eyes (besides your own) on your completed story. The alpha reader’s role is to give you first impressions of the story from the reader perspective. Since this is an early and often unedited draft, they don’t need to worry about issues like typos, grammar, punctuation, etc. If the story or something about it doesn’t quite work, it’s their job to let you know.

Critique Partner

Lots of writers choose to work with a critique partner, and sometimes more than one. Critique partners can be project specific, but usually they become part of a lasting partnership and your writing BFF. Your critique partner may even fulfill the role of alpha reader if you don’t have anyone else to do it. Their job is to give you thorough feedback on everything from conceptual and structural problems to plot holes and grammatical errors. Then you do the same for their manuscript when they’re ready, which is what makes it a partnership. Critique partners can be notoriously hard to find so don’t sweat it if you can’t find one.If you want to try, here are some places to look: online forums, critique partner match-ups (Maggie Stiefvater has one, and I tried to get one off the ground), writing groups, writing workshops, writing conferences, and social media. Again, don’t worry if you can’t find one. Lots of writers work without one.

Beta Readers

Beta readers are probably the most common method used for feedback prior to querying or self-publishing, and many writers do two or even three phases of beta reading. If you don’t have an alpha reader and/or critique partner, you can use beta readers to fulfill the same function. Otherwise, you may choose to only do a single beta read. Whatever works is fine. Beta readers are typically found among your bookish and writer friends. It’s pretty essential that they’re either avid readers, writers, or both. The depth of feedback you ask them to provide is up to you, but once again this is more of an overall feedback and not really the place for editing-related feedback. Some writers will provide their beta readers with short questionnaires to fill out afterward targeting some of the writer’s specific concerns, like “Did you connect with the main character?”

Side note: Wherever you go to find readers, it’s a good idea to try to establish a bit of a friendship with them before sending them your whole manuscript. If you meet them in person at a writing workshop or conference, talk to them in e-mail or on social media for a little bit before making the exchange. If you meet them in a forum or on social media, spend a little while interacting with them and getting to know them. Do the best you can to vet them based on the relationships they seem to have with other writers, how together they seem to be, who they know and what they do, etc. If you can find someone that other people seem to trust, you can feel confident that you can trust them, too.

2) “At what point should I consider hiring an editor when traditional publishing is my goal?”

Here’s the thing about professional editors: they cost a small fortune. Depending on the length of your story, you will need to be prepared to pay anywhere from $1,000 to $3,000, give or take.

If you are pursuing traditional publishing, don’t even worry about it. Just polish your manuscript to the best of your ability and you’re fine. Agents and publishers don’t expect your manuscript to be professionally edited. If you go through an agent (as most writers do since few publishers accept unsolicited manuscripts), they will help make sure your manuscript is extra polished, and if they sell it to a publisher, the publisher’s in-house editor will edit your manuscript anyway. Publishers pay such small advances these days, especially to debut authors, it would be silly for you to be out of pocket for a professional editor. If your story is amazing and your writing is strong, an agent will be interested even if there are a few typos or other issues. As long as it’s clear you made the effort to polish it as much as possible, that’s what matters.

If you are self-publishing, it gets a little bit trickier. I used to advocate always using a professional editor when self-publishing, but the reality is many indie authors can simply not afford to spend that kind of money on their book without going into debt. The reality is that you’re extremely unlikely to make that money back anytime soon, so if you can afford to make that kind of investment without any hope of a near-future return, then go for it. But if that kind of investment would be a hardship, don’t even bother with it. There are plenty of alternatives, including just making sure you have a crackerjack team of smart people who are willing to help get your manuscript as polished as possible.

3) “Is it necessary to put something like a non-disclosure agreement in front of everything I share? Or does that make me look paranoid?”

Non-Disclosure agreements are not the norm. If you’re working with alpha readers, beta readers, and critique partners, you simply ask them not to share your manuscript or any story details. And, again, if you’re dealing with a stranger, it’s a good idea to get to know them a little bit and do a little surreptitious vetting before you enter into any sort of exchange. If you’re working with a professional editor, it’s their job to read unpublished manuscripts, so they know better than to share your work or details about it.

Theft is extremely rare, but when it does happen it’s usually in situations where there was little to no vetting or establishment of a writerly friendship first. If you take the time to get to know someone a little bit first, you should have a pretty good idea of whether or not they’re someone you can trust.

4) “I figured something like google docs would work well bc it makes sharing things via link easy but then again is it good when everybody can read all the critiques other people have?”

Different people use different methods, but the most common seems to be Microsoft Word with its review feature. This allows the reader to make comments within the document without being able to change it and without others being able to see it. That’s the method I have used both as an author and a beta reader, as well as with my critique partners. Although, sometimes my CPs and I are lazy and we just use e-mail. I’ve never used Google Docs but I would definitely caution against allowing everyone to see each other’s feedback. When alpha readers, beta readers, and critique partners give you feedback, it’s for your eyes only unless you ask their permission to share it. So at the very least, you would need to warn everyone that their feedback will be viewable by everyone else, and that may not fly with some readers. Also, I would be worried about one person’s feedback influencing another person’s feedback. It just doesn’t seem like a good idea to me. If there’s a way you could do a separate Google Doc for each reader that only they have access to, that might be an alternative. Other programs I’ve heard of people using: Adobe Reader, iAnnotate, and WPS Writer. (Side Note: if you create a document that you e-mail to each reader, create a separate doc for each reader with their name in it. This way you don’t accidentally merge documents when you get them back.)

5) “I also figured I would share one maybe two chapters at a time and add some questions at the end of each section for people to answer.”

This is not the way it is typically done and I would caution against this method for a variety of reasons. Usually you would send the completed manuscript to your readers along with a target date for feedback to be returned. This allows readers to go at their own pace, which is preferable since some may choose to read the whole thing in one weekend while others may choose to do a chapter every couple days or so. Ultimately, it’s your job to make this process as easy on your readers as possible, which means giving them the ability to set their own pace. If you send it in chunks, you take away that ability and put added pressure on them. Plus, it creates a lot of extra communication and back and forth, which is not desirable.

6) Standard Protocol for Beta Readers

With alpha readers and established critique partners, the process tends to be a bit more personal since you probably know the person already. With new critique partners, you can establish whatever method works best for the two of you. But with beta readers, there’s a pretty standard process…

After you’ve gathered your beta reader team and have been given their e-mail addresses, you’ll compose an e-mail that can be sent separately to each one. This e-mail will thank them for volunteering as a beta, will outline what you are and aren’t looking for in beta feedback, and establish a deadline (preferably four to six weeks out.) Although Word Documents seem to be the most common, most writers offer alternatives for how feedback might be given. For example, you might say something like, “You’re welcome to leave feedback within each chapter, as you go, at the end of each chapter, or at the end of the manuscript.” You may also consider including a short questionnaire (ideally no more than 5-10 questions) that the beta reader can fill out at the end, in addition to whatever other feedback they provide. Give them any necessary instructions for that and let them know they can contact you at any point if they have any questions. Also, it’s a good idea to clarify your expectations should the person decide not to complete the beta read for whatever reason. Most writers will say something like, “If something comes up and you’re unable to complete this beta read, please be sure to let me know as soon as possible so I can find someone to take your place.” This way it’s clear it’s not a big deal if they can’t finish, and they know you won’t hold it against them. Finally, be sure to thank them again for participating.

The feedback will usually trickle in throughout the specified period. When someone sends you their feedback, simply reply with a big thanks and leave it at that. If you have a comprehension issue on some of their feedback and it seems like something critical, it’s generally okay to e-mail them and ask them for clarification, but this is something you should only do when absolutely necessary. Normally, you will not discuss a beta reader’s feedback with them. That feedback isn’t there for you to quibble with or otherwise defend against, and doing so will only ensure that this particular beta reader won’t want to work with you again in the future. You may get feedback that you disagree with, that’s difficult to hear, or is downright hurtful, but it’s up to you to figure out how to apply the feedback if at all. Remember: readers have all kinds of different opinions, and where one reader might say, “I didn’t find this character very believable,” other characters (LOL! *readers*) may not feel the same way. If two or more people express the same opinion, it’s worth considering more deeply. If more than two do, it’s definitely something you’ll need to take a look at.

I hope that demystifies the whole process for you a bit!

————————————————————————————————-Have a question? My inbox is always open, but make sure to check through my FAQ and post master lists first to see if I’ve already answered a similar question. :)

#writing tips #writing advice #wqaadvice

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billdenbrough · 5 years

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i'm going through some rough stuff atm and i've been feeling pretty bad for a while, but the shark puppy au made me smile for the first time in days. thank you so much, to you and to all of the people contributing to it. you made someone's day a lot more bearable

first off, i’m so sorry you’ve been having a hard time recently! i feel that a lil deeply, rip, but i’m sending you all the vibes and care i can, and i really hope things shift for you, because that’s an awful way to feel, but i am so, so happy that anything we did or said today/last night made anything a little easier for you 💕it’s nearly 3am and i have work again in the morning (fucking rip) but i thought i’d put some more shark puppy stuff out there in the hopes it might make tomorrow a little easier for you too!

so this morning before work i answered an ask abt shark puppy and was talking in the tags abt patstanlon (essentially just. thinking abt how to execute it)

and so tonight once i was finally home from work i was talking to a few of the others abt it and @benverlesbians brought up patty’s BA and also how in the book she says bill isn’t a real writer bc he’s a novelist (tangent but i just went back to read the start of that chapter and a, ouch, but b, “Stanley drove a Mercedes diesel—teasing him, she called it Sedanley” this will never not make my heart yell) and that led jem to the conclusion that patty thinks real writing is either non-fiction or non-prose, i.e., journalist or poet

we settled on journalist for her career, but she has a background in poetry from college

@benverlesbians: “patty and mike are like “we both got BAs in english and we are both perfect human beings” and they are correct”

anyway this interview takes place after the Scathing Review from the Conservative Magazine (after richie’s bi ass jeans)

jem posited that bev’s rly protective of the band (and herself, ofc herself, and why wouldn’t she be) and tends to like, vet the interviewers pretty hard, bc she has to be sure she can trust them with their words and their image

and then we were thinking abt how that’s interesting bc like. patty probably isn’t super overt on social media (certainly not just showing her whole self on there, miss ‘wouldn’t admit to thinking richard dawson’s watch chain was sexy if wild horses tried to drag it out of her’), which is like. frustrating for bev’s purposes, but also… kinda relatable? and bev can respect it, on an intellectual and empathetic level, even if it’s annoying that it runs counter to her purposes (but there’s also—-part of bev thinks maybe, someone who can be private with themselves can have some integrity with others, but then there’s another part of her, those self-preservation instincts honed from years of not being able to trust… men specifically, but it’s made all trust harder now, and that part is wary, hard-pressed to give people the benefit of the doubt, not when it comes to her and her friends)

jemma: “bev is like “why don’t you have instagram” and patty’s like “this isnt you interviewing me, this is me interviewing you. please pass the maple syrup, my pancakes are dry as fuck"”

(it starts at a kitschy diner (jem’s idea) bc like, well, there are seven of them. like. that’s too many. but they’re probs not all at the diner, maybe just bev, stan, mike & eddie (deliberate choices from bev, given how she couldn’t find too much on patty—-some good testimonials that convinced her to give the interview anyway, even if patty works for a buzzfeet analogue, bev has less personal hang-ups with them than stan does, even though she loyally disavows them with him—-and she trusts stan and mike to hold their own, and while eddie can be a wild card (it’s not wild, she thinks, not really, because it doesn’t come out of nowhere. it’s just that he’s brave and good and loyal and principled, like he’d have her back, have all of their backs, and wouldn’t let anything slide he wasn’t okay with), she’d rather have that inability to back down at her side when their words and image are on the line than some of the impulsive nonsense richie and bill pull, and ben has a tendency to be too earnest, too quick, and if bev wants to be careful, be sure, before exposing ben’s heart and sentiment and big fucking eyes to that, well, sue her) but then patty is interviewing them, and she’s thoughtful, questioning without being probing, framing things in interesting ways that keeps them talking, keeps them interested, and bev’s already halfway to inviting patty back to the clubhouse (their studio) where the others are when stan, like, references some swedish poet whose translated works he was reading when he and mike wrote one of their songs, and patty, like, gets it? and works tomas tranströmer into her next question, and stan’s expression is just. and he glances at mike, and mike grins (bev doesn’t even know why stan bothered. mike’s clearly thought well of patty the entire time), and stan cocks an eyebrow at bev, and she almost can’t believe it, bc since when does stan ever want to allow interviewers more access? but it’s stan, and he never asks, and so of course she turns to patty, and asks: “got a couple more hours?”)

@chaoticbisexualalien: “pre-meeting stan journalist!pat on twitter giving their album a four-star review but singling him out as exceptional and then a bitter fan is like "oh did he eat you out for that review” and she’s like “I would have given them five stars for that"”

@striffyisme: “omg,,,, the fans start calling her Petty Patty for her excellent clap backs”

britt: “stan sees it and doesn’t get involved directly because he doesn’t want to fan the flames but he admires her from afar and then later on he finds out that she’s interviewing the band and he’s like ”!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!“ inside”

alex: “stan, instantly in love and adoring from afar, patty falling for him as she gets to know him, everyone outside the band thinking it was the other way around lmao”

which, yeah, bc when the others catch on, they realise… patty working for a b/zzfeet analogue isn’t a speed bump for patstanlon to overcome, but rather just something stan was holding onto as like, a reminder to himself that ‘objectively she’s not perfect, and the only perfect person in this world is probably mike hanlon, be quiet rich’ but he’s wrong! she’s perfect too! he knows two perfect people! and by the time she’s gotten a job offer for her frankly thoroughly fucking excellent article abt shark puppy and has quit her job at the buzzfeet analogue, he’s pretty much forgotten about that hang-up until she’s like, “god i’m glad i have an actual adult workplace now” and mike laughs and stan feels his heart grow three sizes in his chest

@dykeeddie: “Okay I’m just gonna say it if she’s working at a b*zzfeed analogue for any period of timeShark Puppy Styles Me For A Week… there are 7 of them it’s the only way”

anyway the article is fucking bomb, everyone stan patty blum, and it blows the conservative scathing review sky high into a void of irrelevance

(at the clubhouse, patty makes such an expression at one of bill’s lyrics that richie actually chokes on his coke from laughter)

#shark puppy #patricia blum #beverly marsh #stanley uris #god i've been typing this for hrs i suck at answering asks it's fucking 5am #also the b/zzfeet analogue idea came totally from that ten long yrs of trying to make armie hammer happen article lmao #answered #Anonymous #long post //

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sunsetnest · 5 years

Photo

Quinnn is a 24 year old Ball-Lion-Dragon-Thing. He uses he/him pronouns. Quinnn can be beginner friendly, but it isn’t recommended due to his rebellious nature.

Appearance: Often mistook for a very weird looking bouncy ball, or perhaps some new Pokemon plush, Quinnn does look like he just rolled off a factory line. You know that game Factory Balls? Here I linked the first game, there are 4 total, they’re fun brain teasers, but anyway, Quinnn looks like he could be a misshapen ball that you must make.

He is 3 inches tall and his front half is that of a smug lion, his back half is that of a dragon. He has no neck, and I cannot stress this enough, he is a ball. A ball with a dark gold mane, mischievous brown eyes, and a permanent >:3c face going on. His back rounded half is coated in green shimmering scales. His tail wings are made of a thin green membrane and are impossibly thin. Much like the bee, his wings are too small to get his round little body off the ground. He can fly anyway, though I stand with my point that he just bounces like a bouncy ball. Quinnn also has a long whippy tail that ends in a stereotypical dragon point.

Personality: Quinnn is (literally) a ball of energy. He likes to enjoy himself and sometimes will go to extreme measures to some entertainment. He is mischievous and likes to bend the rules, especially if he thinks it might provide a good sense of entertainment for him. He, thankfully, is easily distracted and entertained though. He is a big fan of video games, even if his little paws can’t exactly use the controller. He will 100% back seat game, unless you’re about to mess up in which case he will just watch you and tsk afterwards. He reminds me of an annoying kid brother, honestly.

When things get serious, Quinnn is one to bow out and let others deal with it until the storm passes. He won't be annoying but his talents don't lie with bring serious. It’s not that he doesn’t care, he does, it’s just hard for Quinnn to come across as empathetic or sympathetic, so he will often leave when serious situations pop up.

Quinnn may also not be one for thin skin. He often jokes and teases his friends, and those who he barely knows alike. It’s all meant in good fun, never to actually hurt or offend someone. He would never purposely make fun of an insecurity, but he has to know in order to not.

Despite his high energy personality, Quinnn actually prefers quieter places, as he likes to be the center of attention. While he has no qualms going to parties and enjoys dancing (as much as he can), when you are 3 inches tall, it’s hard to gain people's attention when a lot of action is going on. He loves talking and playing games such as charades or improv games.

Species Info: Quinnn’s species has little common knowledge, they don’t even have a name they collectively call themselves. They are hatched from eggs all alone in the world and fend for themselves. The only time they really interact with others of their species is when they mate before parting ways and not keeping contact.

Past: After Quinnn hatched, he chose his own name. Then he wandered around surviving. He made a few friends that he hung out with, but he’s lived a fairly leisurely life, just living day to day.

Current Lifestyle: After finishing vetting, Quinnn has opted to follow Fox around in her daily life instead of finding a place to live. He sleeps anywhere, comfortable or not and will eat what food he can find. Sometimes he will wander back home or to City or another place to find adventure, entertainment, or good food. However, he always seems to fall back into his routine of stalking Fox in her everyday physical life. Should his future companion not want him to come live with him 24/7, he says he will find a place to stay.

Art by @cyber-ace‘s companion, brought to life by cyber-ace.

Factory Ball Version of Quinnn by Intern Niko! (you can fool around with it too in Factory Ball 4)

Companionship: Quinnn is mostly looking for a super good friend or group of friends to bond with and then live with and then call family. Of course he’s open to all different brands of companionship and doesn’t really have a care. He’s more here for the new fun experience than anything too serious. Due to his sense of humor and the way he talks, he is an 18+ spirit, though this is not 100% set in stone.

Communication: Telepathy, tarot, pendulum, water scrying

From Quinnn: “Oh, I get to say whatever? Whale then, hi! I’m Quinnn! Fox is wrong! I’m a cube, not a ball. Tch who would even consider this amazing physic to be spherical at all? I even have goat eyes up in this bitch. HA ball shaped, what even, no, ew.”

Fun fact: Sometimes when he sleeps, he snores hard enough to roll himself over.

Likes: Attention, jokin around, sushi, rolling down stairs, rainy days (and laying in puddles), ball pits

Dislikes: Raw fish, eggs, getting stuck in tight fitting places, eating too much and not being able to walk bc him legs too short

Hobbies: Playing/watching video games, playing around, covering himself in paint and then rolling around

Friends you may know: Billy Ray Cyrus the Stingray Merman (not yet posted) Tay the Werewolf Ix the Enfield

Vessel: Something minecraft

Vetted: Since early 2017 Posted: 16 October 2019

---

If you are interested in getting to know Quinnn better, feel free to send an ask or talk to him in our discord! You can find other posts and asks about Quinnn under this tag! Interested in applying for Quinnn? Here’s how to write a good app! You can apply here or here! New here? Here’s out FAQ, shop info, mod info, and our reviews! Not feelin’ Quinnn? Here are our other spirits currently up for adoption! Got further questions? Shoot us an ask!

#Quinnn the Ball #Spirit for Adoption #Spirit companion

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in-tua-deep · 5 years

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First time anon wanted to say I love all of your tua au’s. They are absolutely fantastic and I am soft for all of them. However I did amuse myself with the barking mad au, noticed you never write about Pogo in your au’s (do you not like him btw? No pressure on it just curious), but I just like the thought of him meeting/talking to partially feral!Five and he can’t quite figure out which language (animal or english) is more appropriate to say ‘master five what the ever living F****?!’ in.

!! hello first time anon! thank u for messaging

asdfHJGFSDG you caught me,, i don’t like Pogo and don’t think he should have a place in the children’s lives so I never write him into any of my aus because I lowkey want him to disappear

mainly because Pogo was complicit in their abuse to the point where even after Reginald was dead he was still keeping secrets - like he was complicit in drugging a child almost her entire life and emotionally abusing her by backing up the “You’re ordinary” narrative Reginald built up

and even after his death, Pogo stood up and said their dad left behind a complicated memory but then proceeded to compliment the man because presumably Pogo owed so much to him etc. etc.

Grace I can excuse, because she’s a robot. She functionally had no free will since Reginald was fully capable of tinkering with her programming and forcing her to obey and keep quiet, but Pogo was an adult sentient being capable of free will and he still looked the other way.

Yeah okay you could say maybe he did it because he was afraid that if he turned against Reginald, he wouldn’t have anywhere to go. You could say he didn’t know how to help beyond attempting to be there for the kids and turning a blind eye to some of their shenanigans (like going out to Griddy’s). BUT. After Reginald’s death he continued to keep the kids in the dark about their dad’s plan, withheld information, and made no move to correct anything. Like i’m pretty sure if he told Klaus “the box contained your father’s journal recording your sister’s power, no not allison, actually your dad drugged her all her life and I’d like to set the record straight on her being ‘ordinary’” klaus would have tried a hell of a lot harder to get it back

Grace, after Reginald’s death, was glitched out of her mind tbh but once fixed she made it clear that she did not support Reginald. After all, telling ur son that you’d like to go out when you were never permitted and then telling him that his dad isn’t around anymore to give orders is a pretty cool moment if I do say so myself

and in the day that wasn’t, Grace was going to tell all the secrets she’d been forced to keep over the years in the park as well. She tried to put it right pretty much as soon as she was capable

Pogo didn’t. He purposefully made efforts to continue Reginald’s plan, up to and including attempting to frame Grace for Reginald’s suicide, not telling Vanya about her powers, not telling anyone about that whole skeezy business, fixing Grace but then reminding her to keep secrets (which she rejects), and just generally. continued supporting a man we know to be an abusive piece of shit idk

so yEAH I don’t like Pogo and consider him to be an accomplice to Reginald’s abuse where I don’t hold Grace accountable because there’s free will involved and while he might have advocated for the children, I doubt he ever pressed if Reginald put his foot down which is why i never include him in anything lmao

as far as i’m concerned in all my aus he’s off chilling at one of Reggie’s other properties or something because Vanya doesn’t want him around (and for good reason) so he can live his days in retirement,,, anywhere else

as for the barking mad au, getting back to ur original ask, I think Pogo is?? Too human-ized? I doubt he’s been a proper chimpanzee for many years, a minimum of like. actually when was he introduced to the household? Was it before the kids were there? Average lifespan of a chimp is what, forty years? And he looked older with his cane and stuff so. Probably?

But regardless I doubt he can understand anything Five is ‘saying’ with body language beyond what humans can read, mainly because dogs/cats and chimps are different (though Five also knows some sick birdcalls and can mimic alarm calls and ‘hello!’ and other cool thing) and feral!Five lived with only cats and dogs during the apocalypse. It’s a little like dumping a dog in with a colony of chimps - confusion on all sides rip so while Pogo probably would be like “Master Five what the Fuck” it’s more because Five is behaving like,, well,, an animal. Which all of the siblings are also thinking tbh

dog people or cat people would probably be able to pick up things here and there though. like that specific meow cats do when they Hunger, or the wiggling that says ‘happy and probably overstimulated’, and growls/hisses/showing teeth should be self explanatory tbh but like, there’s other things. Like quietly mirroring to hang out, slow blinks as affection, the way dogs will playfully run up and then run away in an almost crab scuttle to see if you’ll follow to play (with bonus jumping powers!), the either cowering down with metaphorical tail between legs or PUFFING UP to be the BIGGEST when threatened, whines that mean ‘hurry up!! come on!’ when someone is going too slow, the running ahead and running back to check and running ahead again

like look i have a pretty quiet dog all things considered, and i had an even quieter dog before they. She only really barks when people come up to the door tbh, but I Know People who own dogs like huskies who are the most vocal little shits in existence and who WILL scream when inconvenienced or nervous

(my sister, a vet student interning at a vets, has regaled me with tales of huskies brought to the clinic who just screamed like they were being murdered the entire time despite them not even being examined or anything. they were literally just chilling in the kennel.)

Feral!Five is actually more vocal than ur regularly scheduled Five but everyone wishes he Wasn’t (he’s also way less standoffish and very likely to just full body rub himself against his siblings or drape himself across them tbh bc like. if they wanted him to quit all they’d have to do is give a warning snap or growl or grumble and they don’t sO)

BUT HEY if u want to write something for the au then feel free to include Pogo and your idea because it is very cute!! I just don’t like Pogo and refuse to include him in things lmao

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kingyeoms · 5 years

Text

dolphin keeper!seokmin

pairing: dolphin keeper!lee seokmin x vet!reader (n) genre: fluff word count: 1,840 a/n: this has been sitting in my drafts for forever, i’m sorry it took me so long to finally finish it!! anyways, this was such a cute concept and i’m so glad i was able to write it :’) thank you for the request!! ♡ best read on desktop, use mobile browser if you can’t read under the cut ♡

lee seokmin is the cutest funniest dolphin keeper in the universe

first fell in love with the ocean when his family went on a trip to jeju when he was eight

they were walking around the coast and seok absolutely?? was just mesmerized with the way the waves crashed against the ocean,, the beautiful tones of blue in the waves,, his big eyes peering into the water to look at the little fish swimming around ugh so precious

literally begged his parents to let him take swimming lessons as soon as he got home

and that was the start of a beautiful perfect pair: seokmin and the ocean

at first he wanted to be a marine biologist, but after a seventh grade field trip to the aquarium and seeing one of the scuba divers in the tanks with the fish, he changed his mind -- he wanted to do that!!

luckily one of his friends seungkwan, who was a sloth cuddler at the zoo, mentioned that there was an opening for a dolphin keeper position!

seokmin at the interview: “wanna see my seal impression?”

at first he was a little nervous since he had no experience whatsoever,, accidentally tripped on the fish bucket when first meeting the dolphins

but once he met gyul and podo? literal heart eyes

as soon as he saw them,, immediately wanted to get into the pool and swim with them

“seokmin wait you don’t have proper gear on” “it’s fine!! i’m willing to take the risk!!”

can you imagine him in a blue wetsuit, yellow fishing type overalls with a cute lil dolphin patch in the middle!! i’m sad

turns out, seokmin is really good with dolphins the same way he’s great with people!!

podo is absolutely enthralled with seok.. she thinks he’s soooo handsome!! always squeaks when he comes into the pool~

gyul gets a little jealous,, but he doesn’t mind since seok always sneaks him extra squid snacks

they’re his actual children, literally seokmin walking into the pool room: “where are my babies~~”

does demonstrations for elementary school kids!! he teaches them how to “speak gyul and podo’s language” and also gives a presentation on how to reduce plastic waste

honestly really cute, super endearing seeing seok and a bunch of eight year olds squeaking with the dolphins

has a bunch of drawings of him and the dolphins hung up on his fridge back home,, he always gets them in his work mailbox as thank you notes!!

okay but listen,, as great as he is with children and dolphins alike,, seokmin wasn’t necessarily the.. most careful keeper at the zoo..

to be honest, everyone was a little worried at how clumsy seok was,, but they realized how much the dolphins loved him and so they just kinda deal with it

accidentally slipped and fell into the pool while trying to get one of podo’s toys,,,, it’s fine

you, on the other hand, just recently graduated from vet school, and having interned at the zoo for years now, they offered you a job right away

you watched a ton of animal documentaries growing up!! and honestly, going to the zoo was one of your favorite things to do as a kid,,

so it was no surprise that your dream was to work with animals!! but you’ve always had a soft spot for marine life :(

your first encounter with seokmin was super brief, when you had stopped by the break room to buy some coffee,, he was soaked.. bunches of paper towels in his hands,,

poor kid was trying to dry himself with paper towels and so naturally you just offered some help

seok didn’t even notice you come in!! but when he looked over to see whose voice it was,, perhaps his heart skipped a beat or two,,

“i’m okay, don’t worry! it’s just.. i fell into the pool again and i also forgot to do the laundry so we don’t have any towels..” he rambled, his ears burning a shade of tomato red

“i’m sure we have extra towels at the clinic? and i think the others would like it if there wasn’t a huge puddle of water in the break room,,” you giggled, seok shooting you a confused look

“you work at the clinic?” “yeah, i’m the new vet”

and literally seokmin drops his paper towels and palms his forehead bc,, how tf he gonna look so STUPID in front of the new vet

also since when has the new vet been so cute?

“so,, do you still want a towel?” “please... that’d be nice”

and so that’s how seok ends up in your office for the first time, cracking stingray jokes and drying out his hair while you’re sitting on top of your desk, laughing at the very cute but clumsy dolphin keeper

you don’t really see seokmin all that much for a while, since there was a pretty bad infection going around the seals, you dedicated your time to them

but to be honest seokmin can’t get you out of his head,, he keeps thinking about the cute vet that laughs at his jokes

one day seok asks you to come to the dolphin exhibit because gyul isn’t acting like his normal self and he was absolutely worried,, ran straight to your office

turns out poor baby has indigestion :(

the reason? seok tripped when he was feeding them and the whole bucket of herrings fell straight into the pool

you, jaw dropped to the floor: “are you being serious”

seokmin: “yes listen i’m really sorry okay i tried to stop him from eating all of them but he’s just.. too fast”

you can’t help but laugh at how,, silly seokmin is!! literally the kid has a heart of gold but also legs made out of jello

the two of you are just in the pool, gyul is nuzzling you as you rub his belly,, podo is circling seokmin nervously,, he has to calm her down poor baby girl :(

but you figure out the problem, gyul just has to take some meds and go on a strict diet for the next two weeks!!

you offer to stop by everyday to check up on gyul,, in case seok needs help taking care of him or anything

you may or may not… use this.. as an excuse to see seokmin

gyul starts to grow super fond of you,, squeaking and swimming to the edge of the pool every time you walk into the room!!

but podo doesn’t like you bc she thinks you’re too close to her favorite keeper

even if you give her squid snacks,, she won’t eat them unless seok gives them to her

you’re a little bummed by it, but you know not every animal is going to fall in love with you,, it is a little hard though, especially if you’re the one responsible for their health

two weeks pass and gyul is all better, but podo is still a bit aggressive towards you,,

seokmin’s new mission: getting podo to like you!!

him: “have you thought about dressing as a clown? she’d find it funny”

you: “what”

him: “ok i guess we’ll move onto plan b?”

honestly it’s really cute it’s kind of like he’s trying to convince his little sister that his significant other isn’t a bad person

you and seokmin spend the next couple of days,, coming up with a plan in the break room during lunch

the two of you finding out more about each other along the way, sharing your love for the ocean and marine life!!

seokmin finally gets the courage to ask for your number,, the first text you get from him is a photo of him and gyul in the pool :(

honestly?? you squealed into your pillow that night LMAO

you make it routine to send him cute photos of seals and otters,, he sends you penguin memes probably

your coworkers would start to notice,, teasing you while you’re doing paperwork in your office,, nurses “i see you spending time with that cute dolphin keeper,, when’s the wedding?”

they’d tease you even more once they saw how red your cheeks would get,, because honestly, the more time you spent with seokmin, the more you realized that not only is he handsome, but he has the purest heart in the world

even if he is.. a little clumsy.. and forgetful.. he puts the animals before himself and you love that about him!!

but this was work,, there was no place for any sort of relationship here

seokmin on the other hand?? has three heart emojis next to your name on his phone

absolutely smitten with you,, knew you were the one for him when you first got into the pool, the smile on your face when gyul swam up to you,, he thought you shined brighter than the sun (as cheesy as that sounds it’s true)

he really wanted to take you to his favorite beach,, in jeju,, where he first fell in love with the ocean

but he had to ask you on a date first and honestly,, he wasn’t even sure if you felt the same way

feelings aside, the two of you come to the conclusion that you should try,, spending time with podo by yourselves, without seokmin

so for the next few days,, while seokmin was on his lunch break, you’d hop into the pool and hang out with the dolphins for a little bit!!

gyul was so happy to see you again,, but podo distanced herself a bit from you,, staying in the corner of the pool until seokmin came back

until one day,, gyul was in a different pool for training, and it was just you and podo,,

and you figured,, might as well try one more time,, holding out her favorite squid snack

slowly but surely,, podo came to you, taking the squid snack,, even letting you pat her head!!

you were absolutely over the moon, because after months of hostility,, this was the first time podo had ever let you pet her,,

as soon as seok came back from his break,, you threw your arms around his neck,, telling him that the plan worked!! and even though she wasn’t in love with you yet,, this was a start and progress should be celebrated regardless of how big or small

seok’s face is literally tomato red at this point but thank god you can’t see it,,

“we should celebrate after work then”

and you look at him,, his eyes trying to avoid yours in case you reject him,,, and you do it

you peck him quickly on the cheek,, and you’re just like, “yeah, i think we should”

before he can say anything,, you realize what you did and your face turns into a tomato,, your hands flying up to your lips,, like i can’t believe i just kissed him

but he grins, taking your hands into his, intertwining his fingers with yours,, pressing his lips against your knuckles

“so it’s a date?”

#this was so so cute and so much fun to write honestly i cried thinking abt it #seventeen imagine #svt fluff #lee seokmin #dokyeom fluff #dokyeom scenarios #seventeen au #svt imagines #seventeen fluff #seventeen scenarios #svt scenarios #kpop fluff #kpop scenarios #gr:fluff #g:svt #m:seokmin

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firebirdsdaughter · 5 years

Text

Random Writing Fragment…

… So, I realised I’d faltered in my Ryusoul writing since Zero-One started, partially bc ‘New Show Syndrome’ and partially bc writing is how I deal w/ stuff I’m not so thrilled about in canon (not gonna go into that, we already know what I disliked).

Anyway, it’s basically been hard to focus on writing for much else--however, I had a few scraps of an idea, and, to keep the Dino Knight spirits alive, I thought I might share a bit.

So this is a fragment from an idea I had back before the Gaisoulg reveal.

While it’s absolutely not gonna happen going by current evidence, I had this theory that Nada¡Gaisoulg wasn’t actually the Gaisoulg we saw at the start, if that makes sense? That, maybe there was someone else who was using the armour who had almost complete control/synchronisation w/ it, but that Nada had just recently started using it for… Reasons. XD (that I go into below)

Anyway, in this, said person who has (sort of) control over Gaisoulg is Master Black--who in this is also Touwa and Banba’s father, bc… I felt like it. So, I also went w/ the impression that Gaisoulg seemed to expect Banba to know something about them (along w/ Banba’s reaction to Touwa telling him about Gaisoulg name-dropping him; I even came up w/ an explanation as to why he might’ve reacted w/ ‘it can’t be’ that didn’t end up coming up here, but might on later edits), by interpreting it as implying Banba knew who had the armour (or who had it last).

So in prologue to this, Banba goes and confronts Master Dad w/ the intention of telling him to stay away from the kids--only to slowly realise that Master Dad doesn’t currently have Gaisoulg. Master Dad reveals that he has manipulated Nada into using the armour, and it is magnifying/feeding off his resentment for not getting to be Red, making him increasingly obsessed and dangerous. Banba realises Nada is w/ the kids, and proceeds to get so pissed off, he manages to force Master Dad to come along w/ him w/ the intention of having him take Gaisoulg back from Nada. Along the way, Master Dad decides to be very obnoxious.

And here we are.

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“You weren’t this demanding as a child. Clearly you somehow unlearned your manners after I left.” Master Black’s tone persisted in being overbearingly cheery, a smirk playing across his face, even as his elder son and chosen Squire dragged him along by the elbow. “And really,” He continued, when Banba pointedly ignored him, “You’re getting upset over nothing.” When he still got no response, the older knight frowned, and dug his heels into the ground, forcing them to a stop before jerking out of his son’s grip. “Gaisoulg works fast, even without me. It’s probably already-”

He cut off when Banba whirled around, expression a mask of icy fury, surging forward to grab his father by the collar. “If he’s hurt them…” Each word was pure wrath. “I am holding you responsible.”

His former Master rolled his eyes, waving one of his bound hands dismissively as best he could. “Yes, yes, very frightening.”

But Banba didn’t back down—with a wordless snarl, he dragged his father closer, the rage radiating off him like a dark cloud. “This. Is. Your. Fault.” He hissed. “If he’s hurt them, I hurt you. They bleed, you bleed. Understand?”

His father stared back into his glare for a moment. “… Well, well, well.” He whispered with malicious delight. “Look who grew up while I was away.” Banba made a disgusted sound, shoving Master Black away to turn back toward their path. “Hell of a way to treat family, though.”

Banba froze in his tracks. For moment, he stayed there, still as a statue—then turned back around mechanically, eyes narrowed, teeth gritted. “… Family?” He hissed, hands curling into fists, so tightly his knuckles turned white. Equally as slowly, he stepped back toward his former Master. “Touwa is my family.” Banba’s glare was black fire, and for once it seemed like he was towering above his father. “And not just him anymore; Kou, Melto, Asuna. Even Kanaro and Ui. They are my family.” He was back in Master Black’s face, and his voice dropped to a soft growl. “And you will not take them from me.”

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Very short and out of context. Additionally inspired by a different scene from Killjoys--good show from SyFy, just ended, five seasons, go watch if you like.

Anyway. I’ll maybe write more of this later--also got other Ryusoul ideas, and I deeply wanna work on Fair Trade. DX Wanna write me that Ui content. But I’ve had a bit of a stressful start to the week between Toku, Morris tours, head colds, and my sister’s corgi going in the kitchen, then getting into their bathroom, going on the rug, then chewing a damn razor and the soap. (PLEASE NOTE: Dog is FINE. She was taken to the vet and x-rayed soon after I discovered her crime. She didn’t swallow any metal--did swallow some plastic, but according to the vet, it should come out naturally (though they did give her some special food to hurry it along). She is merely in very big trouble, and is continuing to be her absolute gremlin self.)

So I’ll get back to work eventually. When my life isn’t so haphazardly cluttered. DX

#Kishiryu Sentai Ryusoulger #Ryusoulger Spoilers #my precious Dino Children #Random Writing #not really a tidbit #anyway #to explain why I discovered the gremlin's crime:#I walk her while my sister and her housemate are at work #also by 'going' I mean 'going to the bathroom'#I realised some people might be uncomfortable w/ the terms #like I'm a popular enough blog for that to be an issue but oh well #both liquid and solid actually #at least she kept the liquid on the kitchen tile #gah I'm sorry I should not be talking about this #alright #have a this!#Birthday Sentai #Dino Dragon Knights And Their Cat

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