#am i rewatching it immediately after finishing? why yes i am

[lenievi]

Beauty is created within the soul of the audience. If your soul is moved by the sound of that biwa, then a curse called beauty has been created inside your soul. The purer the sound, the easier it is for a curse to take root. The sound of your flute has that power too.

(Onmyoji (Netflix), episode 3)

Seimei, that's a very convoluted way to say that the sound of Hiromasa's flute is beautiful and that you like it 😂

#netflix onmyoji #am i rewatching it immediately after finishing? why yes i am

[5-pp-man]

another tierlist because ppl actually liked that first one;

the crème de la crop;

the first 2 eps i thought it was fine, but it didnt really captivate me as much as id hoped. but then ep 3 changed everything for me. i started to think "how could living armour work logically? everything so far has been edible, so this must be too, right?" i actually managed to think of the exact thing that this series did. that really made me realise the worldbuilding in this was something unique, and it only got better and better with each episode. its really managed to captivate me and i look forward to "delicious donderdag" every week :)

ANIME ORIGINAL LETS GOOOO absolutely bonkers show that almost slipped by me because it initially tried to fool its audience into thinking it was a regular dramatic military show. it still is but theres also a giant robot who plays by saturday morning cartoon giant robot rules. if that sounds like tonal whiplash to you, trust me, it is. and its amazing. have i mentioned how homoerotic this one is as well? yeah. originally a tier below this one, but immediately after finishing this post i watched the newest ep. i had to make an exception and edit the list because ep 9 changes everything. i havent been gobsmacked by a show this hard in a while.

(return of the) show(s) that execute their own premise very well;

i havent read the manga for yubisaki to renren so i cant compare, but the quality of this adaptation has been very consistent. you need a little sweet romance every once in a while :) this is one of those series where the characters really grew on me the longer it went on. im always a fan of mixing realistic struggles with romance and this one has been doing it well so far

adaptations that are ok (i read the manga for both of these);

i've been a mashle fan since before s1 aired. and the anime has some good changes and additions here and there! but its not very consistent in terms of quality, it does that shonen thing where the animation quality suddenly spikes for certain action sequences, but it also frequently had a lot of scenes where they recycle shots a lot and nothing interesting happens on the screen for a considerable amount of time. still! its a fine adaptation. and yeah the op for this. blew tf up lmao? very strange to see happen in real time

i actually rlly like the manga for this one. i read the whole thing up until vol.6 before the season started (all that was available back then) and it made me cry multiple times throughout. i was sort of missing that connection with the show, though some of the later episodes still hit. its mostly to do with the animation quality, which isnt that great unfortunately. the voice actors are knocking it out of the park though

wghere am i;

is this show good? i. uh. will you hate me if i say yes...? objectively, i know its not that good. especially in the animation department. but if you like other Umatani shows, you'll like this one. it's got the same brand of goofy reactionary humour mixed with gimmicky tacky characters and crazy stupid plot twists. ive been faithfully watching this one each week and I'm afraid i've become very invested. overscientific indeed

bro you fell off...;

i was so beyond excited for this one. i replayed the op a million times, watched each preview, rewatched multiple episodes. and then. ep 5 happened. and i started to realise. oh this show kind of sucks doesnt it? the pacing of the first ep was great, but the rest? way too fast. it became clear with ep 6 that theyre trying to do a double cour show with half the length, which is why they started hauling ass plot-wise. now. i was an arajin apologist for the longest time. but at that point i honestly started to loathe him. even when he stepped up, his praise still felt sort of unearned. and to top it all off, shindou's motivation sucked so he felt like a lousy antagonist. ep6 was better than 5, but it really made me lose my enthusiasm and hope for the series. and right as we were talking about them probably not having time for a filler ep, ep7 happened. feels like a waste of time to do an ep like that when you've still got a whole 2nd arc to go through. but who am i

it started off pretty good honestly. but then chris went to the hospital and it kind of just dwindled from there. this season does so much with characters that have not even been properly introduced like how am i supposed to care about these people if i barely know who they are. the stuff with finn and leo respectively was good though. but the lore dump? lord help me. also vijay just kind of. exists to be there in the background huh? i would not call him a main character they never give him any attention. wendy had another ep again and he didnt get shit. again. also i think finn was stupid as fuck for not listening to lala but again. who am i. i know we cant destroy high card because we need a show but. cmon man.

i am severely behind on these;

reason why im behind is because most of the eps are a bit heavy so i kept. not watching them. its starting to get rlly interesting though so i'm def gonna catch up this is one of those robo-racism shows so i have to really watch out to see where its going. dont want another marginal service situation...

sorry this is just. a little too boring for me. its charming, sure. but i think this wouldve worked better as something with an 11 min timeslot instead of 23 min. theres just a bit too mu- or well, too little for me to rlly get into this. i think reading it would be more fun for me personally

#dungeon meshi #yubisaki to renren #yuuki bakuhatsu bang bravern #30 sai made doutei dato mahoutsukai ni nareru rashii #gekkan mousou kagaku #bucchigiri?! #high card #metallic rouge #kyuujitsu no warumono san #delicious in dungeon #a sign of affection #brave bang bravern! #bang brave bang bravern #cherry magic! #delusional monthly magazine #bucchigiri #mr villain's day off #i did the review a bit later into the season this time around. so my thoughts are more in order and ive already dropped a few things #theres also 1 more category this time #also if youre curious; i ended up finishing everything from last season except for the 2 series in the couldve been better category #i finished a bunch of them way later though but shhh. im also planning on finishing the last 2 at some point. esp since ke is getting a s2 #like wtf. who couldve seen that coming. #tedpost #tedtalks #tedlists

[accirax]

A Thought on Hu's Secret

Throughout the past couple of months, I've been rewatching DRDT (more on that once I finish it) through Weeby Newz's streams. They're very fun, and I recommend them if you want to experience DRDT in an audio format, but, that's neither here nor there. I've just reached the start of Chapter 2, and with it, the area investigation that kicks off the chapter. Rewatching the scene introducing the Dress-up Room got me thinking-- not necessarily about the murder, but instead, about Hu's backstory and how it might intertwine with her secret. (CW for DRDT spoilers through 2-2 and discussion of suicide/suicidal thoughts, specifically overdosing.)

Despite the hesitancies I've had in the past, I am now of the belief that Hu probably has the secret, "You were quite the hopeless child. Dying once wasn't enough, so you attempted suicide three times." It's mostly because I don't think that that secret would make sense for Levi, Min, or anybody else, anymore. But, evidence such as Hu not wanting to share the self harm secret line up with this interpretation too. So, I'm not trying to argue that Hu doesn't have that secret here, because I still think it's the most likely. Instead, I want to pass something on to everybody else who thinks Hu is the hopeless child to see what you all think.

After Teruko, Whit, and Hu get their makeovers, Hu comments on her new dress being very similar to what she wears at home, down to the brand. Whit keeps the ball rolling by pointing out that a lot of things about the set seem to be creepily catered to the students. One such thing he brings up is students' prescriptions. Here's what he has to say:

In my mind, ever since solidifying on the belief that Hu was the hopeless child, I believed that Hu was one of the students with the prescriptions. If Hu were that suicidal, it would make sense if she was taking something to counteract that. And Hu is a friendly enough person that I could fully believe Whit talking with her about a sensitive subject such as this.

But... was Hu actually one of the people who takes a prescription? On a second read, I think the answer may be, "no."

If Whit already knew that Hu took a prescription, why would he ask her? And, yes, he immediately followed it with "that was a rhetorical question," which could be in an attempt to save Hu from having to admit she took a medication in front of Teruko. However, if he already knew, it would have been very easy for him to just lead with "I've talked to some people around here who take prescriptions, and..." To me, asking Hu and Teruko if they take any prescriptions is an indicator that he did not talk to either of them before about that aspect of their lives. Instead, commenting on the rhetorical question was a countermeasure to his slip up of accidentally pressuring Hu and Teruko into discussing something private.

Okay, that's not the most solid evidence. What about Hu's response?

Once again, this seems like something that Hu would only say if she had never thought about something like this before. At the very least, it would be something that she hadn't talked about with Whit before, unless they're both putting on an elaborate performance for Teruko's sake. I wouldn't go so far as to say that doing something like that would be fully out of character for Hu, but it does seem like a pretty weird thing for her to do based on what we've seen of Hu so far.

So, what does that mean? Well, it means that, assuming that Hu does in fact have the hopeless child secret, Hu attempted suicide three times, and yet may not take any medications for it. We can't guarantee that she doesn't, because if Whit and Hu never discussed medications before, it's possible that she does and Whit just didn't know about it. However, on DRDTdev's end, it would seem a little strange to me to have a list of unknown students who take medications, not have Hu be part of that list, but have Hu still take medications.

Now, full disclosure, I have never needed to take any medications before, so I could have things wrong. If I do, I apologize, and I would be happy to correct myself via feedback from anyone who does who's comfortable sharing.

After some very brief research, it does seem like some suicidal people aren't prescribed any medications by their doctors, because 1) either the source of their suicidal tendencies isn't something that can be treated by medicine, 2) the doctor is worried that a misdiagnosis could increase the suicidal tendencies to a dangerous degree, or 3) the doctor is worried that the patient might use the medication to overdose. However, antidepressants and anxiety medications are often used as counter-suicide methods for patients whose suicidal tendencies stem from depression or anxiety respectively. Antipsychotics and mood stabilizers are also sometimes prescribed to suicidal people with conditions such as schizophrenia and bipolar disorder.

So, if Hu both has the hopeless child secret and doesn't take any medications for it, it could imply a couple of scenarios:

The impetus behind Hu's suicide attempts does not include depression, anxiety, schizophrenia, or bipolar disorder.

No doctors were ever made aware of Hu's suicide attempts.

Despite having depression, anxiety, schizophrenia, and/or bipolar disorder, any doctors that Hu saw did not see it fit to prescribe her any medications. (Due to Hu's seemingly traditional upbringing, it could be that any doctors Hu's family brought her to don't believe in medicine. Huh? Amane who? /j)

Despite being offered medication, Hu chooses not to take it. If extreme enough, this could even line up with her preferences being for them to not exist in her room at all.

I think that any of these possibilities have some very interesting implications on Hu's backstory, which we know very little about at this point.

Of course, to even get here, you have to rely on several inferred implications, including the idea that Hu even has the hopeless child secret in the first place! It's definitely possible that I'm the only one who even believes in the conditions that led me to my three potential conclusions in the first place. Or, maybe this line of logic was already obvious to everyone else, and I'm not really bringing anything new to the table here. Still, I feel that Hu doesn't often get a chance to shine in the DRDT theorizing zone, so when I had this thought, I decided to put it out there.

Thanks for listening, and, if you have anything to say, feel free to respond! Here's hoping that, in one way or another, we learn a little more about Hu's backstory soon after the story resumes. Until next time!

#danganronpa despair time #drdt #drdt spoilers #hu jing #whit young #teruko tawaki #cw suicide mention #cw overdose #am i cooking here or not idk #given how little i know about medications i am more nervous than average about publishing this #hopefully i don't just sound like a clown #but i do feel like there's some kind of disconnect that could be explored here in regards to hu's character #any hu heads out there got any thoughts? hit me up #'past couple of months...' she's so pretentious. shut up it's fucking two months. 'past couple of months...' /ref #my theories

[trappper-johnathan]

The MASH time loop but it's Don't Hug Me I'm Scared style in that all the characters are stuck in the loop but they take turns being aware of it ((the phrase "passing the consciousness around like a blunt" comes to mind))

Cause there are certain episodes where it seems like some of the characters have more clarity of the situation than others. An example off the top of my head is Trapper in Mail Call with his "it's continuous" comment. Now consider his actions in that episode vs in Dr. Pierce and Mr. Hyde where he says Hawkeye is turning into a fruitcake cause of his breakdown. If you look at it through my view, his different attitude is because he's not quite aware of the time loop in Dr. Pierce and Mr. Hyde. He also has another big moment of clarity in Cease-Fire, and is the only character in that episode who is aware of the time loop. He doesn't get his hopes up cause the war isn't ending. It will continue on and on and on and they're all gonna remain right where they are.

@thebreakfastgenie has an analysis on Henry Blake knowing he's doomed to die in Abyssinia, Henry, but I also think Radar knows. Obviously he's emotional about Henry leaving, which is why he cries when they salute each other, but that last part of the episode in the OR when he comes in to break the news, it struck me as a little odd. Yes, people show their grief in different ways, but his body language and the tone of his voice kinda stuck me as...disappointment? Or at least an emotion along the lines of disappointment, almost like he was kind of resigned to it. The way his body sags and the way he says it with a sort of bone-tired sadness rather than a fresh wound makes me feel like he knew it was going to happen. Because it's happened before. And maybe that time would have been different, but no. Henry never makes it home, no matter how many times they do this. And he just... He just wishes it didn't have to be that way but it is. And he's gotta be the one who tells the others.

I think it's safe to say that Hawkeye is the one who is conscious of the time loop most often (The Late Captain Pierce is a great Hawkeye Sees It episode), but sometimes it feels like even he doesn't see it. I would say that the episodes in which he's the most out of character are the ones where the veil is thickest.

That's sort of where the DHMIS thing comes in for me, where he (or any character, really) will say/do something that makes the viewer go, "Hang on, that's not quite right." Cause when that happens it almost feels like the character is being puppeted by someone/thing, and so of course they would do something they wouldn't normally do, because it's not actually them. Now that's getting kind of deep into the time loop thing, where it's not just a strange phenomenon occurring, but instead some outside Being manually controlling the story.

You could say that the writers are the ones who keep them trapped in the time loop. You could even say it's the viewers, too! When I watched GFA and I finished crying my eyes out after Hawkeye was flown away at the end, my immediate thought was "I should rewatch the show from the beginning" and my second thought was "If I start back at the beginning, I have continued the loop and Hawkeye never makes it out of Korea." Which made me cry a little more tbh, but it also kind of made me laugh. Here I am, rooting for this tortured man to get back home and get well, and then I'm going to start back at "Korea, 1950. A hundred years ago" and put them right back where they began to suffer over again.

ANYWAY, back to what I was originally saying: they're all stuck in the time loop, and they're all aware of it but at different times and to different degrees.

#mash #m*a*s*h #i went a little off the rails but sometimes the brain just has to go its course #i know we're all probably on board with this concept already but i had to get my thoughts out otherwise theyd just bounce around in there #long post

[padmeanddorme]

Rewatching the Star Wars Movies Part 1!

and now I notice the little details seeing as I am older!

Damn I hope there do be no typos in this rant I spent so much time and energy on….

So:

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away….

I watched Star Wars the Phantom Menace again- one of my favourite movies of all time! And I realised that I could notice more details than usual and reflect on the meaning of particular scenes this time around!

- Padmé’s first ever entrance proves she is all business, is a fashionista and is a powerful woman who will not let any force of evil ruin innocent people’s lives

- I am so amazed that I am able to tell the difference between Sabé and Padmé now! I really want Keira Knightly to return as Padmé. Perhaps this is far-fetched- but in the Ahsoka series?!

- Otoh Gunga- the long shots of Obi and Qui swimming after Jar Jar towards the glowing Cory is gorgeous- but I wonder- how long did the city take to build? And how did they get all the resources down there? Why are the outside materials not rusting??!

- The way Obi-wan walks with his large robe sleeves makes him look so cute and tiny

- Ric Olié is such a dedicated, skilled pilot- I love how he is like Ani’s first mentor who teaches him the terms of the cockpit

- Obi-wan and his tendency to be like “picked up another pathetic life form” is 😂

- Ani being so respectful to his mumma is so cute. Shmi is so gentle- yet she will be forthright with her opinion and stubborn when she’s needs to protect Ani- she would have been an amazing grandma- and she would have shipped Anakin and Padmé so hard! I can just imagine the flustered, embarrassed 19 or 20-year-old Ani when they head to Tatooine after Anakin’s nightmares and Shmi is sharing embarrassing childhood stories about Anakin to Padmé. And the soft smile that would etch itself on her face when she walks in on Anakin and Padmé snuggled close to each other as they stay a night at the Skywalker-Lars homestead. Yes it just so happened that there were not enough beds so Anakin and Padmé had to share one- both were so nervous yet secretly thrilled to cuddle each other as they fell asleep 😴

- That conversation at the dinner table about how Anakin wants to finish a device to detect the slaving transmitters in the back of slaves’ necks makes me wish he and Padmé lived happily ever after on Naboo. They would go on fun adventures with their many children- Luke, Leia, Mila (after Milaflower), Jinn and another baby on the way, going to the snowy world of Hoth and swimming in the lakes of Naboo. When Anidala would want their hard-earned date week every 2 months or so, they would drop the kids off for 1 week with Sabé and the handmaiden gang (or Obi, Rex and Ahsoka?) so they could have a romantic vacation on Tatooine. But at the same time Anidala were investigating the slave situation and were being updated on the progress Sabé and Tonra had made by shipping freed slaves off world.

- The fluffy beard makes Ki-Ado seem like space Santa is swear

- I just noticed how upset and guilty Padmé appears when she suggests a vote of no confidence for poor, confused Valorum- she wants to immediately aid her struggling people but also feels wrong for ruining the career of confused Valorum

- Like frick off Palpatine he’s all smiling and like “I am going for Chancellor Yipee” and Padmé does not want to hear it! She realises there is more significant issues to worry about- *cough* and a *cough* “our people are dying in labour camps”! Ahah her feminist and stubbornness is shining through like a beacon!

- How soft Padmé’s features are and how gorgeous and intricately detailed her queen outfits are enhance her beauty yet symbolise how young she truly is

- Mace’s head shines so much at night time I swear

- I love how Qui-gon brushes off Obi’s negativity all the time and knows where how to focus his attention on the present and his passiona

- I actual burst out laughing when Ani was like ‘Qui-gon, Sir, I don’t wanna be a problem…”

- The elegant yet purposeful way the handmaidens stride onto the silver ship is so beautiful

- In the scene where Nute Gunray communicates with hologram Palpatine, I only just noticed the beautiful sculptures. These sculptures prove how much the Naboo people value art and express their creativity by surrounding themselves with decorations that have meaning

- Swampy Naboo giving Endor vibes damn

- I adore the bewilderment of Ani, Jar Jar and my Jedi boys when Padmé reveals herself as queen and everyone is like “what the the frick???”

- Maul’s staring into my soul! Ghost Padmé save me from the scary boy

- The strategic mind of Padmé is so inspiring- I love my intelligent gurl. She’s like- “ we make a diversion, we will use pilots to knock out the droid ship and we have Artoo’s strategic plan saved in his data bank—-”

- The fog and creepy bird noises as the Gungans march out onto the fields of Naboo builds some awesome suspense

- The droid army tanks moving sound like airplanes damn

- The handmaidens in battle action and being able to see their intricate hair buns is pretty sweet- I believe Eirtaé is the only blond handmaiden!

- Rest in peace that poor pilot who immediately crashed in the grassy Naboo fields

- ooh! I love how one of the Bravo pilots was a woman! Look at Naboo letting all genders be empowered, go my favourite planet!

- I love them oversized, glowing blueberries Jar Jar is still learning to throw

- Oh my Force! Sith are such dramatic turds I swear 😂 Darth Maul standing there menacingly, slowly lifting his eyes to death glare Obi and Qui-gon, alongside the music is killing me

- Maul flashing his teethies like a dog is hilarious 😆

- Maybe Jar Jar do be a sith… I mean, when his foot got tangled in the wiring of a battle droid and as he clumsily tried to escape the wire snaking around him- he managed to shoot many droids…

- Artoo is like man why the hell I gotta babysit this blond beach boy when I could be destroying the space station in like 2 minutes

- Qui-gon being stabbed brought me on the verge of tears. But I could not help but notice that, in the close up after he was stabbed so cruelly, his eyes sparkled a really deep blue- I never noticed he had sky blue eyes until then damn

-I love how prepared Padmé is with blasters resting in her secret throne compartment

- It was like a Star exploding seeing the Trade Federarion ship go BOOM

- The love in Qui-gon’s eyes as he strokes Obi’s cheek- I MISS HiM YOUR HONOUR

- SASSY PANAKA- “I think you can kiss your Trade franchise goodbye.” gIVes ME LiFE

- My favourite handmaiden outfit is the golden hooded robe after the end of the Invasion of Naboo

- Yoda is so scary when he frustrated DAMN! Agree with you the COUNCIL DOES NOT!!!

- In the funeral scene, I never noticed George Lucas’s little sneaky camera close up. After Mace exclaims- “but which was destroyed- the master or apprentice?” It zooms in on Palpatine’s face and fuzzes out everyone else- Foreshadowing is impeccabile here! Never noticed it when I was younger!

- Mwhaah- I noticed in a scene a few seconds before the movie ends that there was a handmaiden standing behind Obi in a beautiful, silverish, grey cloak. At first I was like- “hey that looks like Sabé!” I then had to skip back to the scene once the credits started rolling- and I took a picture of the face! I think I am right- the face seems to boast the features of Keira Knightly! Take a look for yourself:

Now enjoy some of my favourite moments and some aesthetic gifs from this amazing, underrated, family- feel good movie:

We will begin with incredibly blond and happy Anakin- poor Ani deserved to realise that little Luke, Leia, Jinn, Mila and his other kids looked like mini versions of him and Padmé….

So if you have made it to the end of my very long post….thank you!

Feel free to chat to me in the comments about anything Star Wars and positivity related.

May the force be with us all 🌌💖

#phantom menace #padmé #qui gon jinn #obi wan star wars #star wars #star wars rant #sabé #queen amidala #qui gon and obi wan #anakin and padmé #anidala #skyberrie #shmi skywalker #anakin skywalker #star wars padme #handmaiden sabé #palpatine #star wars positivity #sw prequels #star wars phantom menace #star wars what if #star wars alternate universe #yoda #star wars tpm #obi wan kenobi #anakin and shmi #queen padme #padme deserved better #padme naberrie #padmé amidala

[pippin-katz]

RWRB Essay Part Fourteen: Final Thoughts & Cake

Word Count: 566

Congratulations if you've read this far! I did not expect this essay to be as long as it was, but everything I wanted to say needed more explanation, which led to more branch offs, and that's why I ended up sectioning it.

I can safely say that I absolutely adore this movie. I am going to be watching it on loop for the next couple days since I have the house to myself for the weekend.

This movie is definitely its own entity. It is unique from the book, and should not be judged by how "accurate" it is. It's a different telling of the story, and a fantastic one. It deserves to be appreciated, and gushed about.

If anyone tries to bring you down with their negativity towards this film, ignore them. I don't mean people who are politely providing valid criticism. I mean those people who have been basing their opinions entirely on how the movie compares to the book, and deciding that any changes made automatically makes it inferior. The people who are ignoring all of the fantastic aspects of the movie because they're so wrapped up in their own head.

I'm finishing this off with that reminder, that the movie is not trying to be the book. Please keep that in your mind when you watch it. For those who may have felt a similar feeling of unsatisfaction after watching it for the first time, rewatching with this as your focus may allow you to find what you were missing from the experience before.

To put it into a simple metaphor, Red, White, & Royal Blue is a cake. Yes, I'm aware of the irony, but it works very well here.

Let's say that the base story of Red, White, & Royal Blue is a chocolate cake.

The book can be a chocolate cake, with buttercream between the layers, pink icing, and sprinkles. The movie can be a chocolate cake with chocolate mousse between the layers, blue icing, and flowers.

They are both chocolate cakes. They are the same and different at the same time. Most people are going to have a preference, but that does not mean you can't enjoy both.

You have two chocolate cakes! It's a win-win!

And to the people who are simply trashing this movie, I'd like to stop and ask you something. How is it that the original author, and creator of these characters and story, approves and loves this adaptation, but you can't?

I'm an author myself, and I'm fiercely protective over my characters and ideas, and immediately get my claws out when someone suggests a major change I disagree with or a false interpretation of it.

Casey themselves has said basically the same thing I did at the start of this when I explained that the movie exists separately to the book, and they love it. If the original creator loves it, sorry, but I really don't give a damn what you have to say about its "accuracy".

To everyone else, remember to try and not let people's negativity influence you too much. If you love the movie, you don't need to justify it. You're allowed to.

Thank you for reading this. Seriously, fucking congrats if you made it this far. I'm expecting this to get like no notes and still spent an entire day writing this lmfao

previous part | master post

#red white and royal blue #rwrb #rwrb movie #rwrb book #rwrb thoughts #rwrb spoilers #alex claremont diaz #taylor zakhar perez #henry fox mountchristen windsor #henry hanover stuart fox #nicholas galitzine #matthew lopez #firstprince #history huh #bet we could make some

[mushiemadarame]

↳ watch & rewatch drama list

@khaotunq tagged me, my sweet sweet bestie 💖

currently (actively) watching

609 Bedtime Story - technically on pause until I manage to find both final episodes. I was impressed at first and then it kind of lost me as it went on but I gotta know how it ends.

A Boss and A Babe - I hate this show's title but I love how surprising the second episode was for me. Wasn't super excited about it at first because most of the shows I've given up on halfway were by the same director but after episode two, I'm cautiously optimistic.

A Man Who Defies The World of BL - enjoying it a lot more than I thought I would! It's not my favourite, but I'm very curious about how it'll end now.

All The Liquors - Korea?!?! What is happening!!! I love how different this is so far, can't wait to see where it goes.

Bed Friend - this one came out of left field. I was NOT expecting it to go the places it's been going but I am not complaining, holy shit!

Chains of Heart - I understand nothing, I never know what's going on, I absolutely love it. I want it to stick the landing so bad.

Jack o'Frost - I love amnesia storylines, what can I say. Also it's intriguing so far.

Love Syndrome - Jesus Christ. Jesus Fucking Christ. I love garbage.

Midnight Museum - been LOOOOVING the early 2000s supernatural teen show vibes. Gun Atthaphan is always a win as far as I'm concerned and I'm doubly here for the queer vibes.

Once Again - also technically on pause. I took a break halfway 'cause I found out it doesn't have a super happy ending. Will finish it eventually.

Our Dating Sim - AAAAAHH!!!! just AAAAAAAAAAAAAHH! South Korean BLs have burned me so often right at the end, but I wanna believe in this one 'cause the mutual thing going on with neither (or more likely just one) of them not knowing has captivated me.

Past-Senger - too early to comment on quality, but I do love the premise! Let's hope it doesn't crash and burn.

The End of The World With You - why do I keep getting surprised by Japan putting out banger after banger is a mystery. I've been bracing for the emotional devastation of the finale for like five episodes. Can't wait to sob!

The Promise - this show inspires so much faith in me. I wanna believe in it, I wanna give it a million chances, and it hasn't disappointed me this far even though it hasn't been special either.

Tin Tem Jai - I don't want to be rude about it but this is bad. I don't know why I'm still watching.

As you can see, I'm watching an embarrassing amount of BLs at any given time.

rewatching

Love Mechanics

Not Me

Theory of Love

I don't really do rewatches but these three I'm always kind of in the middle of rewatching. And also,

KinnPorsche - I started a rewatch recently and I'm very very slowly working through it.

looking forward to

A Shoulder to Cry On - I saved this ages ago, I don't remember why but I'm excited all the same!

Cherry Magic (Thai version) - the one TayNew show I've seen I hated but somehow I'm unbelievably attached to them so this is exciting to me. Plus, I actually think Thailand could elevate this story which, for me, as far as the show is concerned, wasn't great.

Cooking Crush - I cried when they announced this 'cause I thought I'd missed my window to watch a new OffGun show as it aired. OFFGUN! OFFGUN! OFFGUN!

Last Twilight - I thought Vice Versa was a waste of the JimmySea chemistry, but I wanna believe in this one.

Laws of Attraction - I couldn't get through TSWL because it was too soap opera-y for me, but I heard wonderful things and this immediately caught my eye when I saw JamFilm would be working together again!

Middleman's Love - I was infinitely more excited when it was a Mii2 show but Yim has impressed me so much so far in Bed Friend that I'm looking forward to it again!

Only Friends - do I even need to say anything?? I think this is my most anticipated one this year, yes probably even more than Wuju Bakery.

Our Dining Table - I loved the manga this is adapted from so I'm excited.

Transplant - I believe this will come out eventually. I will believe it 'till my dying day.

Why R U - I loved the Thai version so I'm really curious about what Korea will do with it!

Wuju Bakery - the premise is so ridiculous to me but JeffCode so grhgarhagraghrahgarhgraghgrahgrah

TAGGING: @jeronnamo, @poisoneevie, @dirtygermi, @notme-rainbowfart, @nattawinlove :)

#tag meme #the blogger #friends tag

[marshmallowprotection]

I would like to tell you something. I am a person who loves Saeran very much, as well as his route and after finishing, I feel quite satisfied that I helped him to get his happy ending. I just want to protect him and tell him every day how much I love and admire him. However, there was a moment when my love for him broke, I don't know how to say it, I couldn't love him like I used to, it felt so weird and painful.... Do you know why? 5 months ago I wanted to play his route again and when Suit Saeran arrived with his insults and everything.... Specifically in the scene where he grabs my shoulders and says he's capable of killing me something in me snapped.... And it's the strangest thing that ever happened to me! I had played the route several times before and although his words hurt me at the time they didn't affect me as much as they did 5 months ago. I couldn't stop hearing his insults in my head; that I'm worthless, that I'm dumb, stupid, that I annoy him, that he hates me, etc. I felt really bad. When I was with GE Saeran and he was treating me sweetly a part of my brain was telling me that he was lying to me, that he doesn't really love me and that as soon as I turn around he will hurt me :'(

I seriously had a really hard time during those 5 months, I just wanted to imagine cute scenarios with him but I always came back to see Suit yelling at me and ruining everything. I came to the conclusion that I was too scared of him (I was scared to be scared of him! I love him so much).

I understood everything that was happening to him and I sincerely forgave him.

All this made me question many things: did I really forgive him? do I love him? does Saeran love me?

I tried to solve it: playing the route, watching fanarts, reading fanfics and your blog of course! everything that would help me to love Saeran like before and it didn't work....

So I had no choice but to give myself some time, yes, I had to stay away from Saeran for a while to see if I could calm down and get those negative thoughts out. I tried to do other things, think about other things.... I wanted to take some time for myself and understand myself.

Fortunately, about a week ago I started thinking about Saeran again. And guess what! All the fear I had of him vanished, I was happy again in my imagination with him! It was like finding peace. I know it all started with Suit Saeran and yes, it's completely valid to think that what he did to me was very wrong but I forgive him because I understand him and I want him to know that I love him as much as I love Ray. I rewatched the story mode when he asks for my forgiveness and all that fear I had for him went away and now I'm happy.

I wanted to tell you that haha and know what you think about it. I also want to tell you that I love your blog and I'm glad to read everything you tell about Saeran in all its versions. I hope you too continue to love him as much as I do. Take care!

I think it's perfectly justifiable to go through what you went through. You're allowed to be angry and upset with him about all the things that happened. He understands if you are upset with him and if you need time to come to terms with everything that happened.

If you want nothing to do with him, he would understand it 100%. He wouldn't push the subject or make you feel like you need to forgive him. He makes it clear when he apologizes to you that you don't need to accept his apology. He holds himself accountable and he promises to make things right. But, you don't have to forgive him immediately. You don't have to click that option if you don't feel ready.

I think that might be a healthy response for most people. He doesn't expect you to forgive him. He certainly doesn't forgive himself. He's going to be carrying what he did on his back for a long time. It isn’t until GE Saeran confronts his demons that he can forgive himself for what happened with Suit Saeran. It takes confronting the very things that brought him to be so angry in the first place for him to forgive himself after you have decided to forgive him. 

You needed time and energy to be able to confront all of your feelings about it. That is only natural. You needed time to come to terms with all of it. It makes sense. I'm glad that you were able to take some time away from him to think about why it made you scared and what you needed to think about to be able to be comfortable with him again.

I'm glad that you have him as a comfort character and that you have been able to make peace with the conflicts that happened. 

Saeran loves you. You should never ever doubt that. That fact will always remain unchanging until the end of time. He will love you anew just like every season. That's what his Love Song speaks to. It is a love that will only continue to grow every time the seasons come and go. 

#ask #anon #mod kait #suit saeran

[number1villainstan]

AtLA Analysis: S1E3: The Southern Air Temple

Been a while since the last one. I don’t really have an excuse here other than procrastination. But anyways, let’s get into it! (...as soon as this song finishes.)

During the Previously section, it highlights both that Aang is the Avatar and that Aang has been in the iceberg for 100 years (and that there have been no known sightings of airbenders for 100 years among the SWT). Now, the total decimation of especially a nomadic people in one fell swoop is impossible, which is why many fanfics describe airbenders going into hiding or assimilating into other cultures to escape the later ‘clean-up.’ I remember learning about the Rwandan genocide in school, and there were several steps to lead up to genocide (and what comes after), including alienation and dehumanization. The last step, I remember, was denial that the genocide ever happened. And yet, despite what we see of the propaganda in S3, we don’t see denial. Fudging the details, yes, but not denial.

Aang mentions a ‘prickle-snake’ while waking Sokka up. Another animal to add to the roster. It doesn’t seem like strictly a hybrid. What does this one look like, I wonder?

During the conversation with Katara, Aang seems almost in denial about the things he’s heard--that no one has seen an airbender in 100 years, and the Fire Navy ship. Perhaps I as a rewatcher am overestimating the knowledge a new blind watcher would have and Aang does have at this point. After all, this is the episode where the whole of that tragedy is revealed, as well as more of Aang’s backstory. Katara’s careful warnings, vaguely worded, don’t get through to him though, which makes it possible that he’s just denying the implications of what he’s heard. After all, in his mind, he saw the other airbenders just a few days ago. Maybe even just yesterday.

We also see the first bit of the context of Zuko’s situation. He indirectly orders (!) his uncle to get the repairs done as soon as possible, because he can’t risk losing his trail, and says that once word gets out he’ll have a lot of competition, something he can’t risk. Despite his earlier allusions to high, even royal, status (I believe he has been called Prince before), he clearly doesn’t have a lot of resources in his hunt. It makes me wonder what his budget is, and where he gets what money/resources he does have.

COMMANDER ZHAO! The slimy corporate ladder climber himself! Despite Zuko’s setup as the main antagonist during the first two episodes, Zhao is the main antagonist of S1. In fact, while Zuko is an antagonist for a while (S1, and some of S2) he’s only a main antagonist for those first two episodes, and then he’s set up as both an antagonist to the Gaang and a rival to the main antagonists of the seasons. This double-sided tension works very, very well for his character arc, methinks.

Zuko greets Zhao as ‘Captain,’ and is then corrected to ‘Commander.’ In a later episode he’s promoted to ‘Admiral.’ We have three offices in the FN Navy and their order, though said order may be different from real life navies. (Also, what does a captain vs a commander vs an admiral have power over? I would guess that Captain is one ship and we see that Admiral is a fleet, so what’s in between?) Zhao also bows to Iroh, but not to Zuko--a reflection of his dishonored state? Iroh doesn’t bow to Zhao, which seems to indicate that ‘General’ (even retired General) is a greater office than Commander. Not a great surprise. Zhao refers to Iroh as ‘General Iroh’ rather than ‘Prince Iroh.’ Given the immediate clarification that Iroh is Fire Lord Ozai’s brother (rather than Zuko’s uncle on his non-royal side), does that imply that military titles are more important than noble titles within the Fire Nation? It would make sense, given how highly militarized it is. Or perhaps military titles are simply more important to Zhao himself, which would be an interesting point of character (perhaps he values earned merit over birth or socioeconomic status?).

Zhao says it’s his harbor Zuko has docked at, which further hints at the disparity in resources between the two. So a Commander has command (lol) over a whole harbor? Also, this confirms that, despite what many people have said, Zuko was allowed into FN harbors while disgraced. I’m going to need to clarify if he was banished the whole time or merely chasing his honor.

Neither Zuko nor Iroh can lie to save their lives. Definite drawbacks for two royals.

Zhao invites the two, and Zuko attempts to dip out. However, when Iroh agrees for the both of them, he isn’t fearful, he’s irritated or frustrated. Which means that he thinks of Zhao in social situations as an annoyance, but not a threat, in contrast to those who think of Zhao as a creep or a pedo. (To be fair, he does have that slimy, untrustworthy quality to him, even if he seems more of a suck-up or a sycophant than a creep.)

SWT food just dropped: blubber(ed?) seal jerky. Apparently it looks like a fire-starting material to Aang.

The Southern Air Temple is located in or near the Patola (? pah-toll-ah) mountain range.

Katara, again, tries to gently warn Aang about the genocide. It doesn’t really work. This is also the first mention that Katara and Sokka’s mother is dead by the hands of the FN, and further cements the feeling in the early story of the Fire Nation as this constant, oppressive force. He accepts that the Fire Nation would kill the Air Nomads, but not that they did. He says that the only way to get to an Air Temple is on a flying bison, which raises the question of how did the Fire Nation get to the temples for that first wave?

Also, what is holding Appa’s saddle in place? It’s drawn as just there on his lower back.

Nomadic peoples irl, by definition, move around a lot, often following food or water sources. So Aang’s declaration of “We’re home,” while cementing the Temples as gathering places for the Air Nomads, seems to directly contradict the idea that, ykno, they’re nomads.

Zhao says that BSS will fall to the FN ‘by year’s end,’ and that then the Fire Lord will ‘finally claim victory.’ We don’t hear of any other strongholds against the Fire Nation, but we come in at the tail end of whatever that speech was, so it’s likely others were mentioned off screen (such as Omashu). Again, this reinforces the idea that the Fire Nation already has control over much of the world of AtLA.

Zuko actively speaks against his father here, interestingly enough: “If my father thinks the rest of the world will follow him willingly, then he is a fool.” We know that Zuko is loyal to the FN (at this point), so this can only mean that Zuko has seen a lot of the world and paid enough attention to know how the common EK people feel about the FN (not good). The indirect insult is also something of a surprise, if you’re familiar with (reliant on) fanon Zuko.

Also, the difference between how Zuko and Zhao address the same person (’my father’ vs ‘the Fire Lord’). As yet, he remains unnamed and mysterious. Zhao also acts as if he’s not close with the man. My Zhaozai shipper side wants to deny that so bad. Perhaps, if you’re really attached to the ‘Zhao slept his way to the top’ headcanon, you could say he’s just acting that way to hide the fact.

“Two years at sea have done little to temper your tongue.” That implies familiarity between Zuko and Zhao, and also contradicts the usual ‘three years of banishment/dishonor’ that the fandom usually goes off of. Early show weirdness?

Iroh playing with Zhao’s weapons and knocking them over, clearly by accident. Another incident of him being used as the ‘funny man’ during the early show.

During the conversation, Zhao says “[the Avatar] died a hundred years ago, along with the rest of the airbenders.” No mention is made of the reincarnation cycle, which is supposed to be common knowledge. Of course, Zhao also clearly knows about the reincarnation cycle, as shown in later episodes, but it’s odd phrasing.

Zhao invokes loyalty to try and get Zuko to give up the information. Later in S1, when we see the Agni Kai, Zuko shouts “I am your loyal son!” Honor is never explicitly defined during the series, and the implicit definition changes over Zuko’s arc, but loyalty (or the appearance thereof) seems to play a big role in the Zuko’s definition of honor during S1.

Katara implies that she and Sokka are the first outsiders to ever visit an Air Temple. Perhaps she isn’t counting the Fire Nation soldiers, or doesn’t realize that they were there?

Even when faced with an empty Air Temple, Aang doesn’t seem to realize the atrocity that happened. He’s sad, but not angry. Not yet. Surprisingly, it’s Sokka that tries to cheer him up, by asking him about airball, even though he was complaining earlier about hunger.

Katara tries to protect Aang throughout the episode. Sokka warns her when they stumble across the FN helmet that she can’t do it forever. Katara being caring, Sokka being practical.

Aang describes Gyatso as the greatest airbender in the world. Possibly true, possibly just Aang’s childlike admiration of him.

In this first flashback, we see the first confirmation that Aang is too young--he was supposed to be told he was the Avatar when he was sixteen, not twelve. What’s significant about sixteen here? Is it the age of adulthood in universe?

Can we say that Gyatso was a father figure to Aang here? Their interactions seem to point that direction.

As a side note, the animation in these early seasons seems off, sometimes. It’ll get better as it goes along, naturally, but still.

God I want to know how the airbending lock works.

So, I’m still unclear. Did Ozai tell Zuko that he could only return with the Avatar? Or did Zuko come up with that on his own? Because it looks like Zuko came up with that on his own.

Why are the Avatar statues in the Air Sanctuary? What happens if they run out of room? Also, I only spotted one statue (Kyoshi, I think) that was clearly a woman, and the early show at least seems to use ‘he’ as the default pronoun, despite the fact that we know Yangchen and Kyoshi were women.

What is it with past lives? Roku and Yangchen and Kuruk and Kyoshi and Aang are all distinct characters with distinct personalities. Perhaps the only thing in common that they have is that they can all bend all four elements with practice. They’re also treated like separate characters for most of the narrative. What does ‘past life’ even mean here? What is passed on between these people?

I find it hilarious how everybody thought Momo was a firebender at first. Also, Sokka lunging at Momo, a live animal, with the intent to make him into food shows that Sokka knows how to hunt, skin, and then cook an animal, presumably.

Zhao calls Zuko a ‘banished prince,’ so why is he in a Fire Nation harbor? Zhao also says he has ‘hundreds’ of ships under his command as a Commander, as well as a harbor. So what more does he have as Admiral?

Like the animation, the dialogue doesn’t feel totally natural yet. There’s some exposition there that doesn’t feel like what someone would normally say in that situation.

More hints at Zuko’s backstory, with vague references to exactly what happened with the scar. Clearly meant to tease a blind watcher. To a rewatcher, it says outright that Ozai is a master, so everybody who says that he isn’t/shouldn’t be that powerful of a bender can shut up and go think about what they’ve done in the corner.

The room with Gyatso’s corpse has a whole bunch of what look like bodies in armor, and only Gyatso for the airbenders. How many people did that man kill in his final stand? Also, what are they doing to their clothes? The fabric is in fantastic shape after 100 years.

What is it about this specific calling on the Avatar state that makes it so that each temple/holy place picks it up? He was in the Avatar state for 100 years in that iceberg, so why wasn’t that picked up? In fact, why wasn’t it picked up by anyone but Zuko when he came out of the iceberg?

Zhao clearly thinks himself superior to Zuko in firebending. However, given that Zuko won, he’s clearly not, so Zhao isn’t as familiar with Zuko’s firebending prowess as he thinks.

The Agni Kai starts with Zuko attacking and tiring himself out with several attacks, marking him as impulsive and angry, while Zhao keeps calm and blocks all his strikes. It’s only after Zuko turns the tables with a non-bending move, literally sweeping one of his feet out from under him, and defeats him by keeping him off balance that he throws himself into a reckless attack. Zhao is capable of keeping a cool head if he thinks he can defeat someone easily. Firebending is about control and power, showcased well by the fight.

Iroh saving Zuko from Zhao’s dishonorable attack is the first time we see him not as a comic relief but as a mentor or protector. It’s more in line with what we see of him later.

Sokka and Katara call Aang their family. Is this metaphorical, or is it literal? Has Aang been adopted into the SWT or is this just the found family trope?

Sokka talks about being hungry, and finally gets food from Momo, but have the others eaten? Surely Katara and Aang are hungry as well.

Aang says that he, Appa, and Momo are all that’s left of the Southern Air Temple. Are there not any other lemurs around? What is Momo doing alone? Are flying lemurs a solitary species? A pack species? What?

And that’s all for now! A summary of Zhao: smug, arrogant, overconfident, but with an easily wounded pride. Also, we can infer that he has skill in combat, given his position, and (maybe) discount that he slept his way to the top given that he speaks of the Fire Lord in such a formal and distant manner. Also, this took way too long, because I started last night and kept getting distracted while I was doing it today.

#atla analysis #atla meta #katara #atla katara #aang #atla aang #sokka #atla sokka #zuko #atla zuko #avatar: the last airbender #s1e3: the southern air temple #zhao #admiral zhao #atla zhao #iroh #atla iroh

[unproduciblesmackdown]

vivacious posts when it's 9am after i finish rewatching andor and feeling extremely regular, which is to say i did get to catch / better follow things that you could catch the first time around if i wasn't particularly bad at it, but it wasn't like a huge deal b/c obviously the first time around was like "dear god this fucks" and so too it went this time around like jesus christ. The Everything. like every element. my god. thee politics. i am. thinking about like various moments even now as i type and it gives me pause b/c i'm getting caught up in "ugh yeah that single moment was so fucking good. and that, and that" like recalibrating to being In It and jeez like the sense of being so grounded in this very [the scale and life of these various individuals] and it's feeling very real with this sense of like "yeah these are the way their day to day lives are" and how that works so perfectly in tandem with Everything It's About. the smaller pieces and the way they come together, yet without ever zooming out to leave any of the people involved behind for like "okay now for the overall grander stuff" b/c it's all about any & all the ordinary people and how Everyday it all is

anyways i could go on with like, a bonus 5x length of just my Saying Things to work out thoughts & observations lol but it's like. luckily it's difficult lol like it'd just be running commentary to cover things. but much more distilledly, then i Again followed it up by watching rogue one which is also a great time, yet of course different despite it being like [yeah ofc like everything andor is about and everything about it is an extrapolation / further exploration of elements found in rogue one, then of course executed differently b/c it's a different format, different story, different entire creative project etc etc] like. i will now simply be going "just a few screenshots as illustrations of getting riled and thus taking screenshots" and making a half past 9am post b/c it takes me like two to three times a movie's runtime to watch it at least, and b/c it's vivacity and expressiveness time

i took these b/c i was laughing at how openly jyn is like :/ to herself when k-2so says cassian thinks it's a bad idea for her to come along. there's so many reasons for her to do so but it's also just inherently funny when they met 5 sec ago in a meeting room question like, i thought we were tactically getting along (which, fr why wouldn't she think so lol. like, he was there to raise concerns if he had them....but it even also plausibly sets up the plausibility in turn like, cassian not always necessarily feeling fully aligned with the Official Meetings / Decisions stuff or share his thoughts w/them all openly. and even more immediately is surely setting up especial reason for jyn to be like, well what other Misalignments don't/won't i know about with this guy, and everything.) anyways and as tagsingly discussed it's like, jyn's really pretty expressive and a bit like Yes That Was Funny Of You, and beyond that it's like ah the wariness / [not so Warm or Bold as perhaps ppl would expect from someone who's not Trying to be closed off exactly] makes entire sense like not just for the character but to me personally like, well, Right lol. we love our characters who just aren't expressing or comporting themselves in perhaps whatever ways are Usual enough that other characters or audiences know what to do with them....i don't know what's going on out there and i'm not asking but seems like [issues w/jyn as protagonist/character] isn't one of the most uncommon weaknesses or issues or dislikes or w/e that ppl can take with things, and to be the Complement of that i'll just be like yeah i'm so hype actually. like, well i'm not Not, i've always liked her / certainly not felt any particular issue, and it's all in the direction of like, any repeat viewing (i've had many, the [rogue one] enthusiasm has simply been latent / something i haven't posted about) or just further attention/consideration of her character is a shift for the "right on, i like her more / am further enriched"

i have to be all the more concise or we'll be here forever. luckily repeat viewings / further consideration also is a shift for the I'M CONSUMED re jyn and cassian as FOILS(tm) like ohhhh my god oh my god they're FOILS they're not only FINDING EMOTIONAL RESOLUTION through that so well i'm like they Do have the rights to kiss if they wanna, b/c there is A Whole Dynamic to provide context for caring, but they're also ones who are doing that who KNOW THEY'LL DIE like not only last minute but that nobody can even do this shit knowing they may well even probably die about it, it's all extrapolated in andor like i'm So Fucking There w/the [ordinary days of ordinary lives and everyone's Wariness is ordinary the proximity / immediacy of violence certainly even such that there's a constant relevance/presence of mortal danger to varying degrees] and that cassian and jyn are Scrapping Around For Survival foils who have definitely dealt w/the awareness and relevance of their and others' mortality before like, they're like hello my wary hurt but boldly putting yourself out there even in terms of completing tactical missions w/someone Kindred Spirit type foils and i am like LOOK it affects me so much. the "this whole time mortality has been pretty immediately relevant" the "we know we're both dying" the "we're kindred spirit foils" the "and we're finding so much of our emotional resolution through that which so enhances what resolution we still may have found alone otherwise" like god achilles and iphigenia (crash land falls etc) just like well i'm fucked up about this always now and I'm Fucked Up About This Always Now

i mean it about its only being a few screenshots, despite the fact that if something's anything to me i can talk endlessly about it and i'm FUCKED UP....took these b/c i was like "it's tfw: Dosidon't Do This To Me" like i hate it. i can't even possibly screenshot the "YES close the doors and lock everyone i the rumble room of biting killing like i Love when the [being foils] is going so well that Your Fighting that everyone else can get a little bit in on b/c we're also def a larger ragtag team is so Fun even when it's like [aaaah] because it's like yes Yes work (or simply air) out your issues with Yourself as part of scratching and kicking at your Foil out here" like this scene does so much i'm obsessed w/how well it works that this is where they leave off and it's sure not like "well good thing all that's settled" but then Suddenly things are resolved after a scene that cassian's reacting to but we don't even see him in but it's like dear god it Works. their fight is about Them not about like, oh we needed not to have this, we needed to resolve all this right here....that it has to be a bit in favor of cassian b/c if not then the audience can't feel he can be embraced, he's the deuteragonist we as well as jyn have been figuring out and obviously clashing w/the protag and even being a bit of an antagonist re their conflicting goals makes him Difficult and Ambiguous to us too, but i definitely distinctly remember going "Ah. yeah it's just like. yeah" re cassian during this argument the first time i saw the movie b/c jyn getting in a figurative punch that he gets riled about is so perfectly executed in like, despite again his fighting w/the protag it's like "here he is, this is about him" and so perfectly executed so that the Intensity is just enough for the occasion, You Know It's Real but it's also not like, too much so as to threaten jyn or something like oh you've been in this fight since you were 6 years old you're not the only one who lost everything etc and it's like, well he's not wrong that jyn has to take things out somehow at someone and this is like [you're foils you're foils you're foils] broadcasting for them both, it's not more important that they walked away like, well that argument resolved ideally for us all. cassian doesn't Have To work with jyn but next time we see him he's choosing to do just that and that means something b/c of it, here's jyn with the pieces ready to embrace going all in on an attack here b/c like, again where cassian's character is we need to hear more from Him in that argument, and it's not important like "after that jyn couldn't Possibly feel in conflict w/him ever again" vs what info we actually get, and she gets it too, she doesn't have to be More Correct b/c she's the protagonist, and cassian's the one more liable to take relevant action out here so for that story structure reason alone it's helpful for her to move in his direction, but also like, it makes sense that she could actually listen to criticism about like "yeah i am & i've Been doing shit out here for a cause" when she explicitly was saying she wasn't interested in doing [just that] earlier, and now here's a revisit where like. cassian Didn't follow orders or pull the trigger, his doing so is a matter of further alignment with jyn, they're foils, she can take issue w/him here to be sure, but he can take issue with her certainly as well, and the issues with Themselves, they both do listen to each other here even if we don't see it play out until jyn's quoting cassian (when he's not even there, that she or we see. god) and cassian's going from "i'm the one you've gotta convince" not outright answering if he believes her to outright saying that he does, and oh btw like we all already understand the stakes and how mortally doomed we all may be, and yet :)

like cassian being able to see jyn bringing the [you don't have to compromise yourself when you know what's right] when she's had to be so focused in keeping herself alive and this not changing in the face of whatever anyone else is doing, and jyn able to see cassian bringing the [and when you know what's right you commit and you do something about it] when he's been somewhat sacrificing himself to this cause and not prioritizing his sense of what he'd necessarily find otherwise ideal / to his detriment....like we're foiling we're foiling and of course they can both be right and this doesn't have to be about "it's bad that we Can fight, and are doing so" such that it's okay still being mad abt it at the end of the scene / not even really having a resolution beyond "we don't have to work together actually" so that choosing to do so b/c they're Aligned and Understand each other Is so clearly a choice and not simply a begrudging tactical alliance. i'm sure you could do like a whole essay of media analysis re writing here, and hopefully i do the equivalent, certainly don't feel like i can put into words this (even by my standards) clear and concrete analysis like, here's everything going on....but boy do i pick up on the Emergent Effect like feeling the [aaaaughhh foils] and [i love Conflict b/c like, of course when the foiliness is successful then it's gonna be conflict where everyone's also grappling w Themselves so it's enriching for them and for us] and like it makes sense that in between scenes jyn's takeaway is like "grr what now. well i've already had cause to shift more towards the rebellion (her father dying for it when that family relationship / the memories of it has been the most meaningful thing she's ever had) and here's cassian who clearly Has been operating in this like direct rebellion involvement, as someone who can also completely understand the [since you were 6 yrs old, losing everything] aspects of her existence b/c they're relevant to him too and that's been a part of him doing everything he's ever done, including up till just this moment, making points about how this is something bigger and you gotta turn Caring into joining the fight," while cassian can be like "grr what now. well we've been shown i'm genuinely sympathetic towards jyn / actually want to support this person as a partner in [their various adventures already] and clearly i'm not exactly proud for her to know i Was gonna yesscope her dad up until i decided i actually wasn't or of everything i've ever done and here's someone who i Get / who's had this similar life but Doesn't operate within this framework of like, being someone who'd see this from the strategic angle and 'yes i too feel i've been there done that re: compromising myself for the cause' so she'll be just straightforwardly upset w/him about it which ties into him being upset w/himself now or ever & Can He Justify It To A Past Self Who Hasn't Yet Done These Things / say that it's definitely worth it" so that next time they see each other jyn's more All In for taking action for the rebellion than these other official delegates for it and cassian's ready to disobey the official rebellion choice of [Not going to scarif to fight] that was made against jyn's arguments b/c he believes her, which he doesn't have to, and still doesn't Have to successfully talk his way around something as his only recourse, but he doesn't want to avoid anything here b/c jyn's Already like, aligned their foilship, again just like directly quoting cassian's dialogue abt Hope even to argue her point about the rebellion and show that her understanding of it now has ofc been affected by her interactions w/him, and in turn, his understanding of it....if everyone else is willing to compromise so hard there's no rebellion, she's bringing the Ideal Version Of What We Do Despite It All, while cassian moves away from being the [necessary compromises even when you v much aren't exactly happy with it] figure here towards like, this is why we ever made those compromises in the first place

OH AND. edited to add like jyn seeing herself in cassian and fighting w/herself that way: being guided by her own survival as thee rule even being its own path of "there's what you just have to do but might not be happy about" and like that only now she's invoking that either side of this Conflict as worse versus [both have been hurting me & i'm just trying to make it out here] like let's also fight about whether either of us feel we can change or question things now

and i hit the block character limit again. And it's like, you're you and you're also me and i'm me and i'm also you and we're both the warier one but also not and the more open one but also not, cassian with the Way Of Being and just like [no, he has the face of a friend] holistic inherent encompassing appeal, but ofc he has all his secrets, and jyn being more Openly Closed Off, yknow, but when she's being expressive what you're seeing is what you're getting. FOILS you never go wrong like god yes this successfully enhances both characters and makes them shine so of course it's now inherently valid if they want to kiss about that or have whatever kind of dynamic wherein they're both just clearly more attuned w/themself and what they want for operating together / being relevant to, & knowing each other.....and I'M. the dosidon't do this to me like WHAT a couple of lines of dialogue like i'm not used to people sticking around when things go bad / welcome home like OH YOU KNOW. just some small talk. just some "even if we know we might die doing this we feel like / are prepared to just keep sticking around" like just regular chill casual things you decide about someone while closely semicircling them all =) like you always are

oh, nice, beta editor blocks are really letting me go ham, i appreciate this filmed on a laptop w/a separate camera Specifically This Foils Fight Epic Wins recording like i love violence. truly like the art of this simultaneously wrapping up "Only conflict w/cassian???" issues Through More Necessary Conflict (this [hell yes lock everyone in a room let's fight] instance) and in bringing things out for real making it like, okay i'm serious, time to have our journey having a dynamic / knowing each other thus far affect the choices we make for the journey going forward, even when we both have to think about that some more b/c this Is an elevated immediate reaction zone for everyone and why even argue about it even this much if we really don't care at all about hashing it out and what the other has to say and why. while also they know they've Already been learning real things abt each other and really figuring out how they operate together rather than this violence session being Everything. jyn with a callback to something cassian said way earlier....anyways like i said, before i get even further here:

epic of them to trade places like that, i.e. jyn leaving off a bit more Contained for having been given more to consider than she gave, since she Is more so starting out just needing to be pissed here and confront cassian on as much while he's not really Theoretically surprised by her reaction here but Is, in practice, actually having to confront it, so he can land more points but, naturally, has to get more outright upset than "grr ugh i'm i'm chill though. And i'm having one of my soaking wet moments" somewhat playing it cool, bit chilly even. absolutely crucial like a tiny outburst of unequivocally genuine emotion at the [since i was six years old] instance that's like i said ideally balanced like, as much emphasis as you need to go "ah. i see" about cassian in that moment, not letting it spill out so much it gets confused that this is more a Show of [I'm Pissed] than of very real relevant emotions for him too so that jyn's like, for real not now the only one who's lost everything....but also cassian maybe wanting to talk hs way around it even if he doesn't have to and then leave for the upper floor b/c, re trading places as mentioned, he's Not more contained in the end....this recording cutting off before the last few seconds' ending of him going "anyone else" and baze lying back like Thunk....everyone else having that connect / stake / relevance to this fight, but it's still to be left up to the foils lol....

and i'm Noticing fun little parallels thank you like cassian's first excursion into rebellion(tm) things involving his having the kyber crystal necklace tying him to it, supposedly as an embodiment of the cash money mercenary (without too many other options) angle, vs jyn's more straightforwardly like, it's sentimental and symbolic and the force(tm) kyber crystal necklace....but in the end also cassian's last interaction w/the necklace is one where it's more about trust / Integrity, if he was really just after the money why give it back, why not just leave with it all, why would nemik insist [cassian who he even knows is probably using a fake name] get his life's work most important thing here, why would cassian take it at all, and b/c nemik insisted vs that he'd just automatically love to have it....mixing and matching like, cassian not able to tell maarva he was involved in the aldhani situation which she'd be so proud of him for but is also now motivating her to not leave ferrix with him, that part of his message for her when he escaped factory labor torture/execution forever prison was that she'd be proud of him, that her message for him involved anticipating him blaming himself and was essentially that she was already proud of him, despite her still not knowing about the prison break or aldhani, cassian telling jyn her father would have been proud of her, cassian going to visit the equivalent of clem's grave and noticing like ah the sole time we break out [outright crying] huh

speaking of Not the sole time breaking out outright crying: that was me w/rogue one yet again. frankly the most Concentrated [aughhh] it's been packed into '"i knew the elevator shots were coming but i forgot about it because i got distracted by the Them and also then when i even outright parsed 'ah getting on the elevator huh' i started thinking abt [stairs vs elevator] considerations in that scenario and then i was like WAUGH and i cried. and then i was like 'augh kill me. again' a couple of times & died" and into "they hug through it" like oh i'm sorry epic [we've all been there] wary kindred spirit foils who've been facing their mortality all the time on their own doing so, & dealing with doing so, together??????????????????????? i'm so. i can't even tell you

anyways it's being half past 1pm now helps throw off me off track here lmao like oh i could Never go on and on about something, and surely i wouldn't, much less w/a lot of enthusiasm and [aaaaaaAUGH] to get across. or correct, scintillating insights that i'm just so regular about. i can regularly say that andor is off the shits like they made this That good huh. fucking society if it was one of those [first ten minutes available on youtube] deals like my god the "one of the things the opening scene is saying about the entire work through xyz elements? well through all the scene's elements it Does tell us all the series will fuck like hell" thanks so much

one "great that it's on youtube then" thing being the banger EDM track just dropped into things for your "just totally chill sexy beach episode living i swear (it's not)(quite)" scene change but then also dipped into (diegetically?) briefly and more muted during that first scene while going "just totally chill sexy bar visiting i swear (it's not)" location entering....the Whole score doesn't have to be excellent but is, love how like a sonic motif or what have you is [being in sync vs slightly not] and/or [isolating / distinguishing certain elements] like, a bunch of different Parts / Elements converging and being in sync or not, huh....just dropping this on us and like, [in episodes] the track section used being the immediately dramatic one starting at 1:13 rather than fading in like Oh Whoa like ok then ummm its Lit

while i'm putting everything in a post and just going wherever with it, inadvertently went "oh didn't even realize the one season end post credits scene showing the death star construction also specifically showed that the [factory labor produce these things or be tortured / killed] prison products are confirmed death star components. i see it now" but the article i had to open to see abt that was also talking about like [and this brief clip rectifies some lore misalignments across however many installments] like ok sure i wouldn't know but nice, but then also opened with "still doesn't explain why they'd use human labor instead of droids esp since we see droids (in the vacuum of space) assembling parts here :)" like i am going to mcLose it the direct quote "melshi's right we're cheaper than droids and easier to replace" so (: what could explain that

anyways in conclusion: until any next spontaneous burst of a post. things that happen when you saw rogue one many times in theaters b/c it was a perfectly regular experience and then consider watching andor b/c of it despite watching fuckall, then with a [and the Politics, my god] mention crossing my path like, right, let's try it, and my god so fucking true and so fucking excellent and so my [rogue one] experiences are only charged, and would enhance every time anyways, so here we are. oh also shoutout to the friendly acquaintance whos rogue one posting at the time jokes that are also for real like "i know that robot is gay" right on

#well seems to be one of those longer posts. which i sometimes even tag idk i just improvise #long post /// #star wars /// #and i will be graced w/the yewtwo tag as the cost for betaeditorposting.... #at the moment i'm not caught up in the AUGH of any threads here which is how i can wrap things up w/relative ease lol #two pm so nocturnal it's diurnal chaos hours resulting in some distractability. beyond the usual....will i take a weird little nap? maybe #sure did get thoughts more together w/new thoughts springing from that by Writing It Out. [foils] scholar out here def. they're themming... #Youtube #rogue one #andor

[the-blind-geisha]

Technically, I am an anon so you're not that far from the truth xD But I know you know I'm more than that <3

Hooo, you have my attention then! It sounds good! Really good! Damn I'll have to expose myself faster to bother you properly so you will tell me more about your ideas XD And honestly, as you mentioned Alice in Wonderland, I now think of Alice: Madness Returns' version of Cheshire. Loving that character to the bits <3 So, gather your ideas, dear! I'll be there soon, to get more ideas out of you!

Hey, I think redrawing your art is nice cuz you can see the progress your skill went through. Also, it's good you still have these pieces cuz AAAAAAA THEY WERE AMAZING (you gonna really make me hack your hard drive huh? XDD)

Oh my God, it'd be so fucking hilarious if Ulbert programmed some keyboards in Demiruge that immediately make him go with LET'S CONQUER THE WORLD!!!!!111111 Oh, right, I checked the tag cuz eh, I'm like on the volume before this season so XD and yeah, you're right XDDD Also, is that panic in Ainz I can read there? Good old Ainz not changing even in vol15. No, seriously, I need to rewatch all these scenes in which Demiurge explains to everyone the plan that Ainz has. These are really comedy gold.

Renner surely is a breath of fresh air but holy eff, seeing how much different she is from everyone is always so shocking, at least to me XD Like I said, never been into yanderes, but Renner is a damn good yandere. (Oh no, I think I know who you mean, yikes). About Ainz, that's why I love how overpowered he is! The enemies are taking out their last card, their super-duper-ascending-tier-magic shit and they are so super confident it'll allow them to win, only for Ainz to kill it with a snap of his fingers XDDDD Ainz manifesting 'gg noob' is always so wonderful to watch <3

Oh man, I think I got the idea of what I'm gonna do to expose myself. But eh, if only I was good at using graphic apps XD

Oh yes, I cannot wait to see how Demiurge uses someone's body as a baseball bat <333

Hm... I guess I need to check some Dead by Daylight videos XDD. I used to watch it a lot on streams, but I never heard those... injury moans... hmmm. ;))) As long as he had fun, that's all that matters. Not the fact that we are not being tortured by it XD

I heard stuff and watched a bit of gameplay of RE: Code Veronica, and I want to try it one day! But it'd be nice if they decided to remake it </3. But, hm, I cannot say I'm a big fan of RE... (remembers they have a nsfw alphabet with Carlos to finish)... yeah, that's right cuz I really don't like anything that has horror in it XD Still, omg, the atmosphere and the LORE is amazing there. I could spend my time reading wiki and I'd be so damn happy.

I have no effing idea who agreed to make Chris punch a effing bolder in RE5 and I also have no effing idea who made him such a dilf in Village but, Capcom will forever own my soul for doing these things. <333

Ah, another reason to expose myself. Hm, it's so temptingg ahhhhh!

Honestly, I'd love to write some snappy stuff with Demiurge for you, but uh, I'm sure I won't cover his personality in the right way XD After all, I watched Overlord so long ago (let's not even speak about LNs, I'm waiting for the series to finish to reread it but XD)

Enjoy your days off, dear! Do whatever you want, as long as you're having fun <3 - Pandemonium

Yesss! Exactly that Cheshire cat! I almost wanted to model Cheshire closer to that version, as he's my fave, but neh. Just did a 'close enough' idea. XD But my bestie gifted me an Alice Cheshire Cat bag and plushie, and omg, I love them both SO much! Take your time, hon!

PEFT. I mean, they are actually on my external. X”D All old art from fandoms I no longer participate in drift off my main PC just for the sake of room, but I do still have them! ♥

Ulbert did have the desire to take over the world so—who knows! Maybe he did do that! >3 Put that info in Demi's bio somewhere! Haha Vol15, Ainz does get a bit more bold saying 'what if I screw up' or 'what if I die' sort of stuff to get them to respond levelheadedly. XD It's just...a progress. It's like trying to tell children Santa's not real.

Renner is super cool, and I adore everything she does! I also love she actually kind of becomes Albedo's first real friend. In the latest season, while I got far more Albedo than I wanted, I still loved seeing her different personalities outside of 'omg, Imma jump Ainz'. Even if it was an act to be a political figurehead for Nazarick before humans, seeing her so reserved and kind was...so nice?? I dunno, it awakened something. But I'm already a sucker for succubi, so that wasn't hard for her to do. LOL

XD Take whatever time you need.

I will say, RE games are like my nostalgia. Will I write/draw for them? Neh. Not unless commissioned. I just prefer the atmosphere, like you said! It's so enjoyable and creepy. Those creepy letters you find scattered throughout some of the games to set the background are always a great read. They've stuck with me for years. X3;

Oh, come now! I am sure you'd write an amazing Demiurge! More importantly: it'd be written by you, so I know I'd treasure it! ♥

Thank you, hon! I am certainly vegetating as we speak. X3 I hope your day continues to go well!

#watching barrywasstreaming as we speak X"D #i adore his streams #they're so chill #mod answers #anon #anon: p #anon: pandemonium

[iredreamer]

random thoughts about Gentleman Jack 2x01

Marian sewing Anne’s button on her cuff was poetic cinema and this is why:

I love seeing people take care of clothes in period dramas, it’s historically accurate and makes the characters more human and real.

They used the visuals of mending and then cutting the thread as a metaphor for Anne’s relationship with Ann Walker and Mariana Lawton – I love love LOVE how we see Marian sewing the button on while she and Anne talk about Ann Walker, and then when they start talking about Mariana we see Marian finally cutting the thread, freeing Anne from staying still while she finished the work but also metaphorically freeing her from Mariana’s hold. Just fucking loved it. I feel like this scene is telling us what is gonna happen between these three women: Ann Walker is the one who’ll put the pieces back together when Anne breaks down later on in the series, while Mariana, well... bye bye M-

I loved all the shots of the rings – yes, give it to me, show me they’re married every chance we get, thank you very much I appreciate it a lot. Keep telling me their marriage is at the center of the show like that, love it, a dream come true. Also hands, you know?

“Don’t you ever tell my aunt anything about me, ever again!” – I don’t know if I have deep thoughts about this I just loved it in a completely irrational way. I love this side of Ann Walker. I love how we can see at different moments in the episode how she stands up for herself, how she contrasts Anne Lister if necessary, how she negotiates things and agrees to them only when she’s actually sure about them.

I am IN LOVE with Ann Walker’s caring touches – What can I say? Ann Walker has grown so much from last season and we can already see that in this first episode. The “It breaks my heart when you’re angry” she says to Anne was so moving – just think about Ann Walker last season: when she was upset she used to get it all out without really thinking about how it would make Anne feel (1x04 & 1x05) – in this first episode we still see a bit of that but she’s already become more thoughtful and considerate in the way she shares what she feels. I absolutely love how she can read right through Anne and immediately understand what she needs – she shows her warmth and love with caring touches and it is a beautiful love language we’re starting to see.

Ann Walker literally owns my entire life, she was probably my favorite thing of the whole episode. (also rings, again, love it)

Mariana looking into the camera pissed me off but it was genius – let’s be real for a sec, at first I didn’t like this one bit, like no-no, didn’t like it at all, I actually screamed at the end of the episode BUT but after a couple of rewatches I now believe it is almost a genius choice to have Mariana break the 4th wall here, and this is why. I already went through what breaking the 4th wall means in Gentleman Jack – we know why Anne does it and we know that other characters can do it (i.e. Marian) – now, Mariana Lawton looks at us at the end of the episode because she’s taking control of the narrative, it’s a power move – that look shows us that she’s ready to do all necessary to get Anne back and start trouble. It’s a challenging look. In her mind she is Anne Lister’s wife, she is her woman, she is the “co-protagonist” if you will – not Ann Walker – that’s why she’s looking at us. And for me it also shows us that Anne is not as much in control of the whole thing as she likes to think.

The Ann(e)s married dynamic sends me into the stratosphere – I love their new dynamic. I love the happiness on both their faces when they’re together and I love how they are already operating as a team – “First and foremost, we must respect ourselves, and each other, and what we want.” – I love how they communicate, how they talk about what needs to be done, why and how. My favourite bit was probably the calm conversation they had in Anne’s bedroom towards the end of the episode. It’s them against the world and they know it. 

Now on a more frivolous and light note...the fact that you could tell they wanted to jump each other bones in every scene is what I’m here for. I mean, we knew Ann Walker was thirsty af but good lord Miss Lister is hungry just as much – here look at Anne checking Ann Walker out and rolling her tongue while doing it.

Just wanna end this saying that I’m here for Anne realising she’s in love with Ann, oh yes!

#gentleman jack #anatomy of a scene: gentleman jack #anne lister #me screaming about gentleman jack #this episode was so dense #little time for introspection really #me linking the wrong post for the 4th wall break??? of course #fixed it

[utopianvoices]

past, present, future → b.chan

synopsis: Your best friend drags you to his high school reunion against your will, and never have you encountered such chaos. Alternatively, you go on the journey of making more friends, and a potential lover.

genre: high school acquaintances to lovers au; fluff, one second of angst

pairing: bang chan x reader

word count: 14.4k

warnings: explicit language, alcohol consumption, kinda dialogue heavy (oops)

note: i am BACK with this mess of a fic. it took me too long to finish this, and i apologise for any shitty writing :3 thanks to my little babie @curanonemu​ for making sure i finished this and supporting me as usual muAH. new formatting on posts too weeeee (new year, new me fsdhfgs jk no)!! also, synopsis kinda sucks i’m sorry :P hope y’all enjoy! x

i.

You did not want to go for your high school reunion dinner. 

High school is a time for many that is either the best, or worst time of their lives. Forever friends are found there and painstakingly embarrassing memories are made in run down buildings with people you care about. Except, you didn’t have any such attachments. 

Those three years were nothing but a filler for you as you studied, helped out in the library, and hung out with one person you called your best friend. 

And on top of it all, it wasn’t even a high school reunion dinner meant for you.

The night the bomb is dropped on you, Changbin walks into the living room of the apartment you both share just outside the grounds of your university, and goes straight to the kitchen to fix himself a bowl of cereal because cooking and Changbin did not get along well. The apartment was way cheaper than the dorms your school provided, and it definitely did not have any nosy RAs who were just out there to torture students for their own viewing pleasure.

On top of all that, you could live with your best friend and not some random stranger who might very much as well be a psychotic killer. Perhaps, Changbin could have some questionable habits, like talking to himself in a baby voice while looking in the mirror, but nothing that threatened your life. 

You hear Changbin’s phone ringing from the kitchen as you aimlessly flip through the shows available on Netflix, deciding which new show you should watch and commit to, when your best friend’s boisterous laughter fills your ears. Used to the noise, you roll your eyes before increasing the volume of the TV, finally deciding to rewatch Sherlock.

Fifteen minutes later, you’re about to solve the known mystery together with Benedict Cumberbatch when Changbin walks in front of the TV, automatically eliciting a whine from you as you crane your neck left and right to catch a glimpse of the screen. 

“What the fuck, Bin?” You finally yell, frowning at the boy in front of you. Realising that he probably wanted something, considering the fact that he wasn’t moving till you asked him, you switch the TV off and settle back into the sofa, throwing him a death glare. “What do you want from me, pest?”

Something’s definitely amiss when you see Changbin shuffling his feet and looking at the ground, a guilty smile ever-present on his face. 

“Whatever it is, my answer is no,” you say distantly, leaning back into the sofa with crossed arms. “So give it up.”

“Oh c’mon Y/n! At least hear me out?” Changbin cries out loudly, dropping onto his knees with clasped hands. 

Heaving out a sigh, you slowly unfold your arms and lean forward, eyebrows raised as you nod at the poor boy in front of you. “I’ll hear you out. But don’t expect me to say yes.”

“Um...” Changbin starts, eyes darting around the room as he tries to find the right words. “So my high school friends are having a reunion dinner next week and I told them I’d go, but I also said I’d bring you along and they were too happy and so now I think you’ll have to come with me but-”

“Woah woah woah, a high school reunion party? Absolutely not.” 

It’s not like you had anything against his friends. You did have brief interactions with a few of them in high school and you knew they were pretty decent lads, but there was no way you were following Changbin to what was meant to be a friends’ gathering. 

“But why not!” Changbin whines, waddling over to you on his knees. “It’ll be really fun!”

“Yeah, fun for you,” you deadpan, staring at your pitiful best friend who has now resorted to throwing you puppy eyes. “They’re your friends after all, not mine.”

“That’s right. But they could be. Don’t you think it’s time you start finding more friends who are not me?” 

Changbin’s once pitiful eyes held something other than desperation at that moment; they held concern. 

It was true that you had no other friend other than Changbin. You knew lots of people, sure, but you wouldn’t call them your friends. With no friends to your name other than that one, it also wasn’t hard to guess that you never dated too. But all that mattered is that you were fine with it, right?

“You know that I don’t need any other friends. You’re more than enough for me. Truthfully, I don’t think I could deal with another Changbin in my life.” 

Your words incite chuckles from Changbin, but that doesn’t stray him from his original goal. 

“How about this,” he starts, opting to sit cross-legged on the floor because his knees were starting to hurt way too much. “You come to the reunion with me, and the moment you feel uncomfortable, we both can leave no questions asked. Deal?”

As tempting as that sounded, you knew it was not fair to cut Changbin’s precious time with his friends just because you did not want to hang out with new people. “That’s not fair to you.” 

Shaking his head, Changbin stares at you, the fire in his eyes clearly visible, and you know that he had made up his mind. “I don’t care. It’s either you follow me and we can leave whenever, or I don’t go at all.”

There was no turning back now. You knew that in the end, what Changbin wants, he gets. 

You sigh numbly before nodding your head in defeat, dreading the day that was to come where you had to leave the comfort of your apartment. 

With no warning, you’re engulfed in a tight hug by a nuisance chanting “thank you” a million times. You ease into the hug, wrapping your arms around him and giving him a light squeeze, before pulling back to see that he had a smile similar to the one on your face. 

“I guess you’re right about me needing more friends. I can’t be annoying you for the rest of my life, right?”

ii.

You’re once again reminded why you don’t go for social gatherings as you take in the various clothes strewn all over your room. 

“Hey- Woah, what happened here?” Changbin asks, bewildered at the sight in front of him. “It looks like a hurricane hit your room or something.”

“Yes, it’s called Hurricane Y/n Is Screwed,” you reply sarcastically, before sinking down into your bed in defeat. Looking up at your best friend, you decide to give it a shot and put on your most pitiful face. “Do I really have to go?” 

“Yes, you really have to go,” Changbin replies without sparing you another glance, as he sifts through the heap of clothes on your bed. “And get that ugly look off your face, please. It makes me want to barf.” 

Flipping your best friend off, you manoeuvre yourself such that you’re facing Changbin, and look upon him in curiosity. 

After what felt like forever, pieces of clothing are thrown at you, along with a reminder that you had three hours before you had to leave. 

“Three?!” You screech, causing Changbin to wince and cover his ears. “You should’ve told me earlier so that I have more time!” 

“What are you so loud for, you damn pterodactyl? And three hours is more than enough. We’re just going to a cheap restaurant a few blocks away because we’re all broke college students.” 

Huffing at your insolent best friend, you grab the clothes he threw at you and make your way to the bathroom, not bothering to contemplate his decision because you knew he had pretty good taste in fashion. In fact, half the clothes you had in your wardrobe were bought with him as your advisor, so you’re really in no position to criticise his choices.

You stare at your reflection and let out a nervous breath; you weren’t used to meeting new people, and there was no way you were going to be able to handle a hoard of newly turned adults. The last thing you wanted was to cut Changbin’s time short with his friends, and as you stare at yourself in the mirror, you make a promise to yourself that you’ll get through the night by whatever means. Even if it meant hours of torture.

Changbin, with absolutely no urgency, is sitting on the couch watching the fourth Harry Potter movie, when you walk into the living room, makeup half done and still dressed in your stay-at-home clothes. Boys, you think.

“I think I need to know who and how many people will be there,” you finalise, watching Changbin pick up the remote and pausing the movie at exactly when Cedric dies; poor chap. “ So that I can, you know, mentally prepare myself.”

“You really don’t, but okay. There’ll be nine of us, including you. Minho, Hyunjin, and Felix from the dance team, Jeongin and Seungmin from the baseball team, Chan from the swimming team, soccer team, and honours board, and Jisung who was pretty much useless like me.” 

“Wow.” 

“In my defense, you’ve seen all of these dudes at least once,” Changbin says, shrugging his shoulders. “Anyway, they’re all really nice and fun so you have nothing to worry about.” 

“Says you,” you mutter under your breath, before returning to your room to prepare for your doom.

iii.

The sign of the restaurant flickers periodically as you stand in the middle of the street with Changbin by your side. People brush past you as they hurry to meet their friends and families in the various restaurants lining the street, excitement evident in their steps.

Taking a deep breath, you push open the door. Immediately, a gush of warm air welcomes you, causing you to let out a content sigh.

“Hey Changbin!” A loud voice calls out from behind you, and the both of you turn in your place. The sight in front of you gives you equal amounts of anxiety and fear, as you wonder how you were going to handle the table of one, two, three… seven boys, including the embarrassment standing beside you, who was now busy doing some sort of weird wave in favour of a greeting. 

“Changbin, please,” you plead, burying your face in your hands as you willed for someone to transport you back to your apartment so that you didn’t have to face reality and stand next to your shameless friend. 

Chuckling sheepishly, your best friend finally stops, patting your back before walking towards the table at the back of the restaurant. “Oops sorry. Let’s go meet the rest!” 

Here goes nothing.

Reaching the almost-filled table, your eyes dart from face to face, trying to see if you could remember anyone currently seated in front of you. 

“Guys! This is Y/n, my best friend,”—at this, a few complaints erupt from around the table—”Gosh, fine. My other best friend.” 

Immediately, at least three people shout their greetings your way. 

“Hi Y/n! Nice to meet you!”

“Yo~ Changbin’s told us lots about you.”

“Y/n, sit beside me!” 

Exasperated, your eyes flit around the table, trying your best to smile at all of them (which honestly turns out to look more like a pained grimace). Luckily, there was one seemingly sane person present. 

“Shut up, everyone.” A boy with blue hair and sharp eyes shushes everyone. “Hi Y/n, it’s nice to have you here. I’m Jeongin.” 

At this, the once quiet table is back to chaos as complaints are directed towards Jeongin for sneakily introducing himself first. Taking advantage of the mess, Changbin guides you towards the empty seats and finally settles the both of you down. Now all the seats were filled, except for one empty seat left beside you. 

You’re about to ask Chanbgin about the empty chair, but before you can, he claps his hands, attracting everyone’s attention. “Okay, everyone will take turns introducing themselves. Seungmin, you start.”

The sandy haired boy seated on the right of Changbin waves both his hands while bouncing in his seat, reminding you of a puppy. “I’m Seungmin!”

Next is Jeongin, who just gives you a small smile. 

Beside him, you see a blonde haired boy, what is up with the hair colours, who just smiles brightly, eyes shining brightly and freckles visible. “Hello, I’m Felix. It’s great to meet you!” 

Taken aback by the deep voice, which was a total contrast to his cute appearance, you’re unable to hide the shock from your face. This triggers a bout of chuckles from the table; it was probably common for people to display similar reactions when meeting Felix. 

Before pretty boy (that’s what you decided to remember him as) could introduce himself, the black haired boy resembling a squirrel interrupts him. “I’m Jisung!” 

You recognise him as the one who shouted when you and Changbin entered the restaurant, and you’re about to acknowledge him when you’re cut off. 

“Oi Han, it was my turn to introduce myself! Who allowed you to skip the line?” 

“I do what I want,” was Jisung’s response, and pretty boy looked like he was one push away from murder. 

Just as you’re sure that you were about to witness a murder, Changbin chides the two boys and breaks up the petty argument. “Just introduce yourselves without any nonsense, please.” 

“I’m Hyunjin,” pretty boy mutters sulkily, giving Jisung a death stare. “And I can dance better than Jisung.”

“You motherf-”

“And I’m Minho,” the last person introduces himself, successfully cutting off Jisung’s profanity mid-word. “Sorry, don’t mind those two. They’re like Tom and Jerry.” 

Smiling weakly, you muster up the courage to introduce yourself to the four pairs of eyes staring at you. Hyunjin and Jisung were busy having a staredown, while Changbin was eyeing the meat sizzling on the grill. “Hi, I’m Y/n, Changbin’s friend. It’s nice to meet all of you. Thanks for having me here.” 

And just like that, everyone is back to their own conversations, with Changbin piling the perfectly done meat onto his plate. You take in a deep breath and look around the table at the happy faces. 

This isn’t so bad, you thought, a little chaotic, but otherwise entertaining. 

“They’re overwhelming huh?”

Any effort to mask your bewilderment vanishes as you catch the knowing look on Minho’s face. A guilty smile blooms on your face and you nod your head. “Just a little.”

“I get that,” he starts, but soon enough, there’s a content smile on his face that shows his love for his friends. “But at the end of the day, I know that these monkeys will be there for me no matter what, so I guess it makes it all worth it.”

Smiling softly at his words, you almost coo at the light blush dusting Minho’s face as reality catches up to him. 

“Ahem anyway. How’s living with Changbin?” He clears his throat before changing the topic, instinctively putting some meat on your plate before helping himself, earning a grateful smile from you. 

“It’s not too bad,” you start, feeling Changbin’s gaze on you after having overheard Minho’s question. “Except sometimes, he talks to himself in the mirror and it’s pretty scarring.”

“Y/n!” Changbin whines as Minho guffaws beside you, nodding his head to your answer, clearly having witnessed that side of Changbin before. “Wait till Chan comes. At least he’ll support me.” 

At the unfamiliar name, you furrow your brows and the name in the form of a question tumbles out of your mouth before you could stop yourself. “Chan?”

“He’s not here yet,” Minho addresses your confusion, having heard your little slip up. “He had to oversee the training for the upcoming soccer match, being the captain and all, and apparently he had a tutoring session after. He should be here soon though.”

That explains the empty chair beside you. 

“Oh, he needs to get tutored after training?” You ask, feeling bad for the unknown boy. Having to absorb information after physical activities is torture. You couldn’t even focus after 40 minutes of gym. “That’s rough.”

At your assumption, a cat-like smirk spreads across Minho’s face. “Oh no, darling. He tutors after his training.”

There’s no way you’re to be blamed for the first thought that pops into your head after discovering that said Chan was responsible and smart. You’ve seen people struggling with just one extracurricular, and begging teachers for extra credits because of poor time management. 

So, it’s really not your fault that the first words that enter your head is, that’s hot.

Just then, the bell situated above the door rings, indicating that someone was entering the restaurant. You’re not bothered by it, until Felix’s deep voice fills your ear.

“Chan!”

It’s almost comical how slowly you turn towards the sound, blush threatening to fill your cheeks at your first impression of Chan, without even meeting him. And as Giovanni Torriano has once said:

Talk of the Devil, and he's presently at your elbow.

Your eyes follow the figure of the devilishly breathtaking boy walking towards your table. He’s still dressed in what you assume was his soccer jersey, black hair tousled from the wind and practice. Shaking your head, you rid yourself of that inappropriate thought and opt to stare at the bowl of radish that looked the most interesting to you.

“Hey guys!” Chan smiles widely at the group of friends, as a few of them immediately get up from their seats to greet him with their usual bro hug. He sets his things down beside Minho, and is taking his seat when he spots you. Confusion clear in his eyes, he looks around the table, silently asking for an explanation as to what a stranger was doing at their usual table. 

You realise his staring and try to introduce yourself, but you find yourself unable to form sentences as the reality of who Chan was hits you. 

The star swimmer of your high school’s swimming team, and the top student of every single year. He was the epitome of popular. Everyone knew his name, and apparently he had never missed one day of lessons or training. On top of that, he used to regularly tutor in the library.

“Oh, this is my friend Y/n!” Changbin pipes up, slinging an arm around you. “Same high school as us, and my roommate now.”

At this, the confusion clouding Chan’s hazel eyes clears up, and he turns to face you, extending a hand. “The one who used to carry thick books everywhere and helped out in the library right? I’m Chan!” 

Being the complete opposite of your best friend, you’re sure no one has ever noticed you in the library. You blend in perfectly with the shadows and shelves, and you didn’t usually help the students out, opting to arrange the books in the storeroom—the one small thing you could do to help out the aged librarian who brought you mouth-watering brownies every Thursday. 

The thick books, in your defense, was your attempt at trying to finish the Harry Potter series whenever you had the spare time. You never had to explain yourself because you never expected anyone to notice. Especially not the most popular guy in school who had a million other friends.

But there he was, in all his glory, eyes crinkled into crescents as he waits for you to shake his hand, seemingly remembering you when nobody else did.

A small nudge to your side from Changbin breaks you out of your reverie and you grab his hand, silently noting how soft they were. “Nice to meet you.”

Smiling at you, he gently shakes your hand before turning to the other boys, immediately making jokes and laughing along. 

“What was that about?” Changbin whispers harshly, eyeing you and Chan suspiciously.

“What was what?” 

“Chan remembering you! You’ve never even met before.”

Looking at your best friend, you shrug before reaching out for another piece of meat. “Beats me.”

Changbin opens his mouth to interrogate you more, when he’s successfully cut off by Seungmin. 

“Y/n! Tell us more about yourself! I’m bored of hearing about these idiots.” 

Jeers sound from around the table as you let out a nervous chuckle, aware of how everyone’s attention was on you. “Me?” You ask, pointing to yourself for extra confirmation. 

Yea!” Seungmin replies, nodding vigorously. “What are you doing now, and how was high school for you, and just everything!” 

Noting your hesitation, Changbin is about to step in to save you, but your hand on his thigh stops him. Looking at you curiously, he realises from your expression that you’re finally about to do what he had been nagging at you to do since day one of becoming your friend. 

iv.

‘Is it possible for a stomach to burst from too much laughing?’ is what runs through your head as tears stream down your face from laughing uncontrollably at another joke Jisung was saying. 

“Wait, I remember Changbin telling me that people used to refer to you as Baby Photos when you all played at the school shows,” you ask after you had recovered from your laughing fit, curiosity piquing. “What’s that all about?” 

At the mention of the familiar name, the boys let out groans and Hyunjin starts hitting Jisung. “It’s all Jisung’s fault!” 

“Basically, he somehow got ahold of all our baby photos and submitted it to the administration on behalf of us,” Changbin explains, rolling his eyes at the memory. “So if you see our yearbook, all eight of us have our baby photos instead of the actual photo we were supposed to submit.” 

How is that even possible?!

“We still don’t know how he managed to do that.” Chan answers your unasked question, shaking his head fondly at the ridiculous memory. 

At this, Jisung pipes up. “Everything is possible when you’re charming and handsome. You lot won’t be able to relate!” 

And you finally agree that the beating Jisung gets after was well deserved. 

“Restaurant’s closing in ten!” 

The owner of the restaurant, a nice old lady who had a soft spot for the boys, calls out from the back. She had already let all of you stay past her usually closing time, and even gave you some free side dishes, together with a loving chide about how the boys don’t come and visit her anymore. 

The screech of the chairs fill the place as everyone gets up, stomach and heart full from the meal and company. You smile to yourself, glad that you let yourself be convinced to follow Changbin because you had one of the best days in your life. 

“Did you have fun today?” Your best friend asks with a smug smile, already knowing the answer.

“Shut up,” is all you can say—a clear sign that you were admitting defeat. “It was okay.”

“That wounds me,” someone speaks up from behind you, having heard your conversation with Changbin. You whip around to see Chan clutching his heart and wearing an exaggerated hurt face. “I thought we had a connection.” 

“I-you, no, that’s not-what” you splutter, horrified at the thought of Changbin’s, and now apparently your, friends thinking that you didn’t have a good time with them. There was no way you could let them think as such when they had made you feel so comfortable, and have so much fun. 

Your stuttering and horrified expression does it, and Chan bursts into laughter. “I’m so sorry, it was a joke. But your face!” 

The guilt and regret is replaced with relief and irritation, and you smack his arm out of habit, something you always did to Changbin when he was being a pain in the ass. But as soon as you do it, you’re once again filled with regret because Oh my God it’s only been two hours, you’re not supposed to just smack people.

“Stop overthinking it, idiot,” Chan cuts you off, adding in a low tier insult to make you feel a bit better about your reflexes. “We’re friends now; all of us.” 

Friend to friends. Now that’s an upgrade.

You’re about to say something, when you’re cut off by Changbin screeching unceremoniously as he glances at the time displayed on his lockscreen (it’s a picture of the two of you making ugly faces—he refused to change it).

“Shit, we’re going to miss the last bus that leaves from here!” He almost shouts, grabbing his and your things. “Adios bitchachos!”

A snicker or two echoes through the empty restaurant at Changbin’s farewell, together with requests of bringing you the next time they meet.

“Make sure Y/n comes for the next dinner! Doesn’t matter if you’re here or not!”

Jisung earns himself a string of vulgarities from Changbin for that, as he guffaws and hi-fives Hyunjin. 

You’re barely able to say your farewell to the boys with Changbin dragging you out of the restaurant, but you manage to shout out a few words while waving. “Thank you for today! See you soon!” 

The bus arrives just as you reach the bus stop, and Changbin all but collapses on one of the empty seats from the running you both did. 

“I think I’m going to throw up.”

“You’re foul.” You’re staring at your best friend in disgust when he starts questioning you about the dinner, nausea forgotten. 

“So…” he starts, pivoting in his seat to face you, cheek leaning against his hand which rested on the seat in front of him. “For someone who was dead set on not coming, you sure looked like you had lots of fun.” 

Rolling your eyes at his words, you turn to face Changbin. “Isn’t that what you wanted? Me making more friends?”

“Of course, of course~” he drawls, smirk ever-present on his face. “And who do we have to thank for that?” 

“And you ask me why I don’t listen to you or ask you for favours.” Turning your attention back to your phone, you open up Temple Run in hopes of keeping yourself occupied for the bus ride back; but Changbin had other plans. 

Whining, he snatches your phone from your hands and slips it into his pocket. “Y/n! Tell me everything!”

“What do you want to know?!” you ask, exasperated. “You were there literally the whole time.” 

“Yes I know, but I want to know what you think of all my friends!” Changbin claps his hands in excitement, leaning forward in anticipation. “Well, our friends now.” 

You can’t help but sigh as you prepare for the long bus ride ahead—but somehow, you don’t miss the sudden warmth enveloping you as you recalled the past few hours. 

“First of all, Jisung and Hyunjin are hilarious, it’s like…”

v.

Two weeks later, and you’re knee deep in shit. Not literally, of course, but you might as well be. 

It’s the infamous hell month in your university, where every student (regardless of major) has a shit ton of assignments and tests to complete, and the library is open 24 hours for poor souls like yourself. 

It’s two in the morning when you’re working on your second essay of the day. There are crumpled balls of paper all over your desk and surrounding your bin, courtesy of your pathetic aim. 

“You’re cleaning everything up later,” Changbin speaks up from across the dining table you both were sharing to get work done, tapping away on his equipment as he works on some new beat. “I don’t expect every ball to go in, but to miss everything? That’s some serious talent.”

“Shut your mouth, Seo.” Flipping your best friend off, you finally push yourself away from the table, stretching a bit before making your way to the kitchen to fix yourself a bowl of ramen in hopes of satiating the beast growling in your stomach.

As you open each shelf, you slowly come to the realisation that you were completely out of snacks and food. Even the single frozen bag of peas and empty ice cream tub stares back at you in pity as you scan the fridge. 

Taking a breath to calm yourself, you slowly turn around to face your unsuspecting, so-called, best friend. Walking towards him, you knock the table a few times to get his attention.

He notices your presence, and removes his headphones to look at you quizzically, his full attention on your blank face.

“When were you going to tell me that you had consumed every single food item we have?”

It’s almost comical how quickly the blood drains from his face, as his eyes dart all around the room, skillfully avoiding you. If it were any other situation, you would’ve definitely laughed while falling onto the floor. But this wasn’t any other situation.

This was war.

And honestly, it would have been a war that you would’ve definitely won—if not for the loud sound your stomach just produced.

Narrowing your eyes at the accused seated a few feet away from you, you walk over to the countertop with your wallet, eyes not leaving Changbin for a second.

“I will deal with you when I am back from the convenience store.”

And with the sight of Changbin gulping imprinted in your mind, you slam your apartment door behind you and make your way grumpily to the 24-hour convenience store located seven minutes away.

vi.

The electronic chime sounds throughout the store as the part-timer throws you a friendly greeting from the counter. “Welcome!” 

Reciprocating with a smile of your own, you take slow steps towards the shelf with the various assorted packets of ramen, and your hand automatically reaches for your favourite one. Just as it comes into contact with the plastic, you can feel yourself salivating and your stomach growls in appreciation. It’s a myth, you think. There’s no way food like carrots and asparagus is what gets students through school. The only saving grace you have during this period is packets of ramen and chocolate milk. Countless numbers of assignments and tests are already torturous enough; healthy, tasteless food on top of that? No, thanks. 

Clutching the ramen packet in your hands like it was the treasure of your life, you walk towards the milk section to complete your meal with your favourite carton of chocolate milk. There was something about the combination of milk that combats the spice from the ramen, and you’re about to drop onto your knees right there and then to worship the people who invented ramen and chocolate milk, when you see the last carton being taken away right in front of your eyes. 

Without any second thoughts, you rush towards the person and grab their arm, already getting ready to pull out the sob story of how you absolutely need the chocolate milk to survive. Surprised by the sudden contact, the man holding the carton whips his head towards you, eyes wide. 

There’s a fleeting sense of familiarity that passes through you when you see the hazel peeking out from above the mask that covered the rest of his face, but you’re too preoccupied to dwell on the thought. Just as you’re about to open your mouth to beg, you’re cut off by an all too familiar voice. 

“Y/n?”

Huh?

You stare at each other for a few seconds before the realisation of who you were holding, no, clinging onto dawns on you. 

“C-Chan?”

In a lively city that thrived at night, there were a thousand other 24-hour convenience stores scattered all around in every corner. It also wasn’t everyday that you decided to go to the convenience store for food, opting to go to the grocery stores instead. So, if you calculated correctly, the chance of you bumping into Chan at 2:30 a.m. at that very particular store should be close to never.

Yet, there he was standing right in front of you, chocolate milk clutched in one hand. 

“What are you doing here?” 

“Oh I came here to water my plants.” 

Plants? 

You’re more than confused, till you hear the soft snicker that escapes his mouth. Narrowing your eyes at his antics, you decide to bite back with a “Ha ha, very funny.”

“So… Are you planning to hold onto me forever?” Chan teases you, eyes gesturing to your hand that was still clutching onto him, before looking back at you with a twinkle in his brown eyes. “Because I wouldn’t be opposed to that.” 

With the whole bumping-into-Chan thing that happened, it had completely slipped your mind that you were still holding onto him. You snatch your hand away in horror, eyes widening as you feel the heat creep up your neck. “S-sorry.” And before you could stop yourself, you also continue to spill why you had grabbed his arm in the first place. “I was just craving for chocolate milk, and the one you took was the last carton left.” 

Looking back and forth at you and the carton, you start to feel like an absolute idiot, until he reaches out and pushes the carton into your hands. “You can have it then,” he says, and walks away. “Stay right there, let me grab some ramen and we can have supper together!” 

You stare at the carton for a few seconds, the droplets of water that formed on the outside cool against your fingers. On a normal day, you would have refused the milk vehemently, telling the other person not to worry and to have the last carton. But today wasn’t any other day.

And Chan wasn’t any other person. 

We’re friends, after all, is what echoes in your mind as you look up at the boy walking towards you, two packets of ramen in his hand and a carton of strawberry milk. Smiling at him, you finally express your gratitude for his kind sacrifice. 

“Thanks for this,” you say, waving the carton in front of him. “I don’t think I would have made it through the night without it.” 

Nodding with a smile, he tears his two packets of ramen open and pours in the hot water that was situated at the back of the store, grabbing yours from you in the process. “What brings you here at this hour? I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t be craving ramen and chocolate milk in the middle of the night on any other day.”

“You’re right about that,” you reply dejectedly, recalling the big pile of assignments waiting for you back at the apartment. “It’s hell month in school, and I’m drowning in work. On top of that, Changbin exhausted every single food source we have at home!”

Chan does his very best to hold back his laughter at your expression; he knew you were angry, but you looked as threatening as a kitten. And thankfully he succeeds, because he really did not want to be on the receiving end of your wrath. Although, he thinks, you really are not going to be able to do much damage.

“How dare he,” Chan agrees, finally taking a seat beside you, the steam from the ramen warming his face up. “Hey but, if he hadn’t done that we wouldn’t have bumped into each other here.” 

You nod your head in agreement, thinking about how to start a casual conversation, when you are suddenly hit with the realisation that you knew essentially nothing about Chan. You didn’t know what university he went to, what he majored in, and what he was doing in the convenience store that late at night too. 

One question at a time, you decide. 

“What are you doing out this late anyway?” you ask, slurping the noodles and breathing out in relief at the taste of the ramen against your tongue. 

“I come here often,” is what he replies, before taking a sip of his milk. “My uni’s about fifteen minutes from here, and I usually work the best at this time. Being a music production major, there aren’t very strict deadlines, but I’ve still got to get my shit done.” 

Oh. That’s all your questions answered. 

You know the trouble of trying to get questions out, especially for you, who has never really made the effort in going the extra mile in interacting with people. It’s annoying and nerve-wrecking, and probably the biggest reason why you refused making new friends. The whole process was just painful. So, when Chan answers your unasked questions, you feel the hypothetical weight lifting off your shoulder, and you open your mouth to express your gratitude. At least, that’s what you had planned to do. 

“Are you a mind reader?” you blurt out, before immediately clamping your mouth shut and facepalming. “Ugh, sorry. I have a really bad habit of blurting out whatever comes to my mind.” You groan at your inconvenient habit, and Chan pats the top of your hand in hopes of comforting you.

“I just meant to say that I was thinking of asking you those questions and you answered them even before I asked.” Chan looks at you with a smile, intrigued by your personality. You clearly didn’t have any other friends other than Changbin—but you never looked as if you were upset about it. It was also clear that you were content with not interacting with people, but when you did, you were never rude about it and you really did try your best. Never in a million years would he have thought that the student scurrying around the library with tons of books would turn out to be someone like you. 

“At least that means you’re an honest person!” Chan says, beaming at you. “C’mon, learn to look at the brighter side of things.” 

Shrugging your shoulders with a tired smile on your face, you turn back to your ramen, which has now gone soggy due to your little chit-chat with the boy beside you. 

There’s a comfortable silence that hangs between the two of you, until Chan speaks up again. “What’s your major? I realised I never asked.” 

At the mention of school, you pull an automatic stank face before replying. “English Lit with a minor in Philosophy. The worst decision of my life.” 

“And why’s that?”

“I never knew there’d be this much essay writing!” you cry out, throwing your head against the table. The rest of your words come out muffled, but somehow Chan manages to catch it. “I mean, I knew there was going to be lots of essays. But not this much.” 

“In the major’s defense, that’s kind of a dumb move on your part, Y/n.”

“Yes, I know. Please don’t remind me of my idiocy.” You finally sit up, before sadly chewing on your noodles. “At least I have ramen and chocolate milk to keep me going.” 

And as the night went on, both of you continued the conversation back and forth, you learning more about him and him about you. You talk about your assignments, how annoying some of your professors were, and how living with Changbin was. All the times you had to chase him to clean up after himself, or all the times he stayed up with you until ungodly hours just because you had procrastinated too much and was rushing an assignment in the last hour. You also learnt more about Chan; how he was studying music production because that was his dream since he was young, and how he actually roomed with Jisung, who was equally as messy as Changbin. The only difference was that Chan couldn’t be bothered about the mess. 

“Changbin, Jisung, and I actually used to make tracks and post them on Soundcloud,” Chan says, smiling as he recalls the three high schoolers cooped up in his room with the bare minimum equipment that wiped out half their savings. “We even had rapper names.” 

“Ooooo~” you tease, nudging his shoulder as his ears start to turn a bright red. “What was yours?” 

“What’s in the past should stay in the past, Y/n. Let bygones be bygones. No point talking about it now.”

“Awww, c’mon!” You plead, fidgeting in your seat. “Was it something embarrassing like Cheminem, or something?” 

“I can’t help but feel more relaxed when your standards are that low,” Chan says, with some form of relief in his voice. “Uh, mine was CB97.” 

“Don’t tell me…” you mutter, eyes wide as the laughter threatens to escape your lips. “Did you really just use your initials and your birth year? Talk about bare minimum!” 

“Hey! It’s better than Meminen, or Cheminem, or whatever you said earlier.”

Sticking your tongue out at him, you decide to probe further. “What were Jisung’s and Changbin’s?” 

Chan stares at you with wide eyes, your mischievous eyes giving away your evil plans. “No. Changbin will kill me.”

“Don’t be a party pooper! I’ll treat you to ramen next time if you tell me.” You try tempting Chan with food, with no hopes that it would work. But somehow, you see his resolve crumbling, and realise that you just needed one final push. 

“I’ll get you chocolate milk and two packets of ramen.” 

At that point, Chan regrets telling you his habit of eating two packets of ramen with chocolate milk almost every night when he stays up. “You shouldn’t have given me the milk then!” is what you said while chiding him, and he just claimed that “you looked like you needed it more than me” while saying that he really wasn’t picky about the flavour of milk. 

So when you tempt him with his cravings, he has no choice but to give in.

Twenty minutes later, you walk into your shared apartment, a mysterious smile playing on your lips as you drop the keys into the little holder by the door. It was made by yours truly during a random pottery workshop you signed up for. The shape was slightly off, and the colour wasn’t bright or vibrant—but it worked and that’s what mattered. 

At the sound of the keys clinking in the holder, Changbin’s head shoots up to gauge your mood from your expression. Surely you would be at least a little less angry after your little run to the convenience store, he thought. 

But instead of seeing a blank expression, or even an angry one, he sees the smile on your face and his heart drops. Why were you smiling? The fact that you were smiling made him feel a hundred times worse, and he had already started saying his prayers.

“So, Changbin…” you start, leaning against one of the chairs at the dining table. You weren’t even angry about the empty shelves anymore, but you just could not pass on the opportunity of teasing your best friend. “Or should I say, SpearB?”

And you’re more than content with the way his face morphs into that of horror, as he grips the edges of the table. “How did you know?” he asks, his voice strained and barely above a whisper; one would think that the whole world had found out about his darkest secret from the way he was reacting. 

Shrugging playfully, you go back to your seat and sort out the papers scattered around the table, grabbing your laptop to start working on your assignment again with a full and happy stomach. “Who knows~”

“Y/n, tell me,” he starts to whine, making his way to you on his roller chair. “No one knows other than the boys-”

And the realisation of who the culprit was hits him.

“It was Chan, right?” he asks, already reaching for his phone to scold the older boy. “You must have met him when you went to the store—he’s always getting ramen there.” Typing furiously on his phone, he pauses to look up and whine again. “I can’t believe you two gossiped about me! And it was me who made you both become friends. The disrespect!” 

Finally the laughter you had been holding in breaks out and floods the living room, the sound bouncing off the walls. “I can’t believe,” you start, trying to catch your breath as you continue laughing. “SpearB! What do you do? Impale people with your sharp flow and rhyme?”

“Just shut up, please,” Changbin pleads, plugging his ears with his fingers. “La la la, I can’t hear anything you’re saying.” He rolls back to his side of the table and grabs the headphones, shoving it over his head to drown out your laughter. 

Your laugh fest is cut off by your phone vibrating, signalling that you had a new text message. Grabbing it, you tap your phone a few times to open up the messages page. 

chan: can’t believe you outed me to changbin chan: traitor y/n: drama queen y/n: i said nth, he figured it out on his own chan: ఠ_ಠ

Giggling at the emoticon Chan used, you unconsciously lean back in your seat as you search your gallery for an emoticon to reply with, assignments forgotten. 

“Who’re you texting?” Changbin asks, having heard you giggle at your phone. He’s eyeing you suspiciously, and you knew it was better to answer him, because a curious Changbin is a dangerous Changbin, and he’ll probably stomp over and snatch your phone to see who you were texting anyway. “It’s Chan.”

“When did you two exchange numbers?!”

“Earlier, when we met at the convenience store.” 

It was right before the both of you parted ways; when Chan had proposed something that was pretty much impossible to turn down. 

“I had fun today,” he said, one hand stuffed in his pocket while the other swung the plastic bag containing some chocolates to add to his secret sweet stash. “You said you’re having hell month, right? Hit me up whenever you need an emergency ramen run.” And with that, he pushed his phone into your hands, signalling for you to do the same. 

Smiling to yourself, you keyed in your number into the phone clutched in your hand, saving yourself as “Y/n”, and before you could regret your decision, you quickly added a smiley after your name and tossed the phone back to Chan. “Here you go.” 

The cool metal is being pressed into your hands, and before you know it, you’ve said your farewell to Chan and were on your way back home. 

“Look at you socialising out of your own will,” Changbin states proudly, wiping an imaginary tear as he gives you a fatherly (or what he thinks is fatherly) smile. “Albeit, at the expense of my shame, but if it means my little Y/n making more friends then why not!” 

“Please stop, you’re an embarrassment to me, yourself, and literally everyone around us,” you deadpan, clearing your side of the table up. It was time to call it a night, because God knows you’re not going to be able to do anymore work. “Besides, it’s really not that big of a deal. I doubt we’ll continue talking after tonight. It’s probably a one-off thing.”

“Hmmm I wouldn’t be too sure,” Changbin muses. “I feel like there’s something that’ll come out of this.”

vii. 

Seo Changbin isn’t a lot of things. 

He isn’t tidy, opting to throw his clothes all around his room instead of folding it; he isn’t patient, always screaming at you to “Hurry your ass!” when he had been waiting barely three minutes; and last but not least, he definitely isn’t punctual. “Changbin is my name, and being late is my game” is something you’ve heard way too often from him that it was a wonder you hadn’t murdered him yet.

Changbin isn’t a lot of things—but what he somehow is, is intuitive when it comes to you.

So when you find yourself back at the convenience store at 12:30 a.m., ramen and chocolate milk in front of you as you laugh over some stupid story Chan was saying, you can’t help but curse at how right your best friend was. 

You were reaching the end of your hell month, which also indicated it being four weeks since you and Chan had developed the routine of pigging out at the convenience store at terrible hours. 

“... and he just fell off the tree!” Chan concludes his story of how Hyunjin fell off a tree in high school, words coming out breathless due to how much the both of you were laughing. “Ah, that brings back memories.”

“I can’t believe I never talked to you guys more then,” you say, shaking your head slightly. “It would’ve been hilarious.”

“Someone was too busy with Voldemort,” Chan teases, pushing his nose down flat in what you could only describe as a Voldemort impression. Laughing, you swat his hand away while rolling your eyes at the boy you’ve grown so fond of in a span of four weeks. “Why’d you never talk to us?” 

Thinking back to high school, you ask yourself. Why didn’t you ever bother talking to them?

“I guess it’s just cause I already had Changbin,” you start, pausing to think back to the past few years. “As much as I complain about him, he’s really one of the greatest best friends anyone could ask for.”

It was true; Changbin was there for you during high school like no one else had been, and for that you were eternally grateful for him.

“So you were scared to take any other chances since you already got the best?” 

People always asked you why you didn’t make more friends in high school. Hell, even your mother kept asking, when other parents struggled to keep their children at home just because they were spending too much time out with friends. But the answer to that question was something you never thought about, and you can’t stop the feeling of shock spreading through your body at what the boy in front of you had just so casually uttered. 

You were scared.

“I-I…” you stutter, eyes wide as you stare at the boy in front of you. Chan can’t help the worry that seeps into his face at his words, and he’s starting to wonder if he said anything wrong. “I’ve never ever thought about it. But, oh my God, that makes so much sense.” 

After years of waving everyone who asked you why you never made any other friends away just because you yourself didn’t have the answer to the question, you’re hit with a huge realisation of just why you didn’t want to find more friends. And it wasn’t even you who figured it out. 

This boy sitting leisurely in front of you, skin pale and soft, with messy black hair framing his face that he never bothered brushing away. This boy, who was as kind as he was hardworking, always willing to help out anyone, even with his own responsibilities. This boy who had been readily there for you at the devil hours for almost every day in the past four weeks, always checking up on you to make sure that you were surviving.

Never in a million years would you have expected someone to figure out something that was locked away so deep inside of your heart, and for it to be Chan, out of everyone. The thought makes your heart race a little, but you decide to blame it on the conversation the both of you were having. It was definitely not because of the boy seated beside you.

“Shocking, huh,” Chan starts, laughing slightly as the worry he had felt earlier replaced with something he could only describe as fondness. “It’s a pity though.” 

You look at him questioningly, and what he says next makes you realise a few things that maybe you were better off not realising. 

“We would’ve been much happier in high school with you there. I would’ve been much happier.” 

As much as you regretted not befriending the other seven boys in high school, you were starting to regret bumping into Chan that very first night even more. If you hadn’t bumped into him, you would’ve never spent so much time with him, never realised how great of a person he was, and lastly, you would’ve never started falling for Bang Chan.

viii.

It’s like déjà vu.

With your exams and assignments completed, you find yourself watching the latest season of Haikyuu when Changbin enters the room, waltzing towards your reclined figure. 

“Y/n~” Changbin starts, poking your shoulder to get your attention. “Whatever your annoying ass needs now, it’s a no,” you say without even turning to look at the boy beside you.

“Oh? Even if it was an invitation to dinner with the boys later tonight?” 

And when your head whips to the side to look at your best friend, you’re so tempted to just wipe that smirk clean off his face, because the bitch knew you would have said yes.

“I fucking hate you,” is what you can mutter, before switching the television and throwing the remote to the side, choosing to ignore Changbin as you walk towards your room to pick an outfit. But you’re forced to stop in your tracks when Changbin casually utters the next few words.

“Chan’s especially excited to see you.”

You’re not sure what Changbin means by that, but there’s no denying the increase in your heart rate at the mention of the dimpled boy. 

“What?” You try your best to sound as nonchalant as you could, hoping that your best friend wouldn’t pick up the slight quiver in your voice. But, of course, he wasn’t your best friend for nothing. 

“I said, your little boyfriend’s excited to see you.” Changbin smirks at your expression, stretching his legs out to rest it on the coffee table in front of your sofa. “And it looks like you’re just as excited.” 

Red travels up your neck and spreads across your face, as you sputter at your best friend’s preposterous words. “W-what are you- I- Huh-”

Realising that your little breakdown wasn’t helping your case at all, you take a deep breath to calm yourself, before speaking to the insolent brat in front of you. “He’s not my boyfriend.”

“But you like him, don’t you?”

You freeze like a deer caught in headlights, and the first instinct you have is to play dumb. “O-of course I like him. He’s my friend.”

“I will pretend like I did not hear that pathetic attempt of you trying to act dumb,” Changbin states robotically, rolling his eyes. “C’mon, Y/n. It’s obvious. So stop pretending and just fess up. It’ll be easier for the both of us.” 

You had two choices now: Either fess up and prepare yourself for at least a thousand years of teasing, or just completely deny it till your deathbed. 

Clearly, the second option was much more appealing. 

“No, Changbin,” you snap with as much conviction as you could. “I do not have a crush on Chan. He’s just a really good friend.”

The knowing look on his face wavers, and you know that you’re seconds away from success. It’s not that you did not trust your best friend with the information of you having a crush on one of his friends. You just did not want to say it out loud—saying it out loud would mean that you were confirming it, and there will be no going back. And that scared you. 

You were scared of liking someone who was way too perfect, and who probably would never like you back. 

So the best solution was to keep your little crush hidden away in the depths of your heart, and slowly get over it as soon as you could. It was as easy as it could get.

ix.

Apparently, you realise, it wasn’t at all easy to get over a simple crush. 

The smell of meat fills your nostrils as the eight boys chatter loudly over the sound of the sizzling of the food. You’re back at the same restaurant, with the same boys, except it wasn’t exactly the same as the last time. 

This time, you had a raging crush on the boy who insisted on sitting beside you, leg brushing against yours every few seconds as he piles the food on your plate instead of his. 

It definitely didn’t help that every time your hands brushed while reaching out for the side dishes around the table, you pulled your hand back as if you had just been burned, ears immediately heating up. 

“Did you know Chan told Y/n about 3RACHA?” Changbin whines to Jisung, making him stop his actions mid-way, meat hanging from the chopsticks just a few inches away from his mouth. “All I heard the past few weeks was ‘SpearB, help me’, ‘SpearB, go there’. It was torture.”

The table goes silent at the new information Changbin had revealed, and all you can do is smile sheepishly as your friends stare at the both of you. 

“These two have been meeting almost everyday the past few weeks to get ramen at weird timings, and I’m pretty sure Y/n has lots of quality dirt on us now,” Changbin says pointedly, completely ignoring the way your eyes widened because why would he just say that?

It already wasn’t easy keeping Changbin in check with his little fantasies every time you went out to meet Chan, and now it was going to be worse because you just knew that the six other boys were going to question you from their expressions. 

You turn to look at Chan, expecting to see the same ‘busted’ expression on his face, but all you see is a guilty smile, before he opens his mouth to speak. “In my defense, I was bribed.” 

“Yes but, you never told us your 3RACHA names even after we kept begging you for weeks,” Hyunjin speaks up, eyes wide in disbelief. “We had to bribe you with a new game for your console, but you just told Y/n after two packets of ramen and chocolate milk?” 

Your heart rate picks up speed just a fraction after hearing Hyunjin’s words, and you can’t help but feel a little special that Chan was comfortable enough to tell you things he refused to tell others. There’s a small smile playing at your lips as you look at the boy beside you, who was now rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly as he tried his best to defend himself from the accusations that were now pouring out from all his friends. 

Unbeknownst to you, your own best friend was watching the both of you since the night started, a glint in his eye as he catches the way you threw small glances at his friend, blushing every time your hands brushed or when Chan purposely picked out the meat that was grilled best to put on your plate. 

He also didn’t miss the soft smile playing at Chan’s lips every time you laughed at another stupid joke Jisung cracked, head thrown back slightly as you clutched your stomach, or the way his eyes widened every time you leaned a little too close to him to reach for a side dish. 

Fools, is what he thinks when he eyes his two best friends. Fools in love.

The night goes on, and it’s Changbin who proposes a game of who can finish a bottle of soju the fastest to make things more exciting. You already know how it was going to end when you see the soju bottles crowding the table, all screaming the obvious outcome of the night.

“Rule’s simple. We’ll have two people against each other, and the one that loses has to pay their opponent’s share for tonight’s dinner.” 

You notice Changbin avoiding your eyes as he speaks and distributes the bottle, which could be attributed to the very scary death glare you were throwing right at him. 

Here’s the thing—your alcohol tolerance was shit. And Changbin knew that, making you wonder what he had planned up his sleeve.

“Right, here’s the lineup,” he announces, making it seem as if the lot of you were in some world championship of sorts. “Hyunjin and Jisung”—there’s a loud ‘Die, bitch!’ that resounds from Jisung as they both get ready to win against each other—“Seungmin and Felix, Minho and Jeongin, and Chan and Y/n!” 

You were going to kill that idiot. 

Changbin starts off the game with a recap of the rules, and makes sure that everyone has their own bottle of alcohol. Disaster is the only word flashing in your mind, and you’re on the verge of ditching your friends to return to the comfort of your room. 

“Jisung and Hyunjin first!” Changbin instructs, to which the two boys grab their bottles and have a stare-down with each other. 

“I’m gonna win so hard, your ancestors are gonna feel it.”

“Let’s see you try, pretty boy.” 

On Changbin’s cue, the two boys start gulping down the alcohol, and you visibly cringe at the ghost feeling of the taste on your tongue. 

“Are you okay?” Chan whispers from beside you, eyebrows furrowed. “It’s a stupid game. You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to.” 

There’s a grateful smile on your face as you shake your head, letting the boy know you were okay. “I’m fine. Just worried because my alcohol tolerance isn’t that good, and I don’t want to inconvenience all of you.”

“I promise I’ll take care of you,” Chan mutters softly, staring right into your eyes. The smile slowly drops from your face as your heartbeat echoes in your ears at his words and the way he was looking at you. You so badly wanted to look away, not being used to such eye contact, but there’s something about the way he’s looking at you that makes it almost impossible for you to tear your gaze away from his twinkling eyes. 

The sound of a bottle being slammed onto the table snaps you out of your little moment with Chan, and you immediately turn away to look at what was happening at the table, taking deep, cleansing breaths to calm yourself. 

On the other side of the table, you realise that Hyunjin was the one who finished his bottle first, now having the time of his life teasing Jisung, who had about one quarter of the bottle left. 

All the boys, except Chan and Felix, were laughing their asses off—Felix was the only one comforting Jisung, while Chan was staring at the table, an unreadable expression on his face.

“There, there. It’s okay, Sung,” Felix coos, patting Jisung’s hair, as the latter sulks at his loss. 

The next two rounds proceed quickly, with Seungmin and Jeongin emerging as the winners. Everyone stares shell shocked, as Jeongin gulps down the liquid with vigour and speed, and slams his bottle down onto the table with a grin.

“There’s no way! I can’t believe Minho lost to a baby!”

“Just because he’s the youngest doesn’t mean he’s a baby, Changbin.” Seungmin deadpans, swiftly moving the empty bottles to the side of the table. “And how come you’re not participating?”

“Someone needs to bring Y/n back,” Changbin shrugs, passing the bottles to Chan and you with a guilty smile in return to your scowl. “And I’d rather stay sober when taking care of drunk children.”

You turn to pass the bottle to Chan, quickly avoiding his gaze when he looks at you. You’re not confident in your abilities to keep the blush down if he was going to look at you the way he did before. 

“Okay,” Changbin cues, making sure both of you were ready with the bottle caps off. “Ready, set… Go!”

You didn’t mind paying for Chan’s share for dinner, you really didn’t. But if there was something about you that was both your downfall and pride, it was your competitiveness. You were competitive to the point where you tended to disregard the consequences of your actions. 

So, your brain doesn’t register the painful consequences of your actions as you gulp down the bottle of alcohol like your life depended on it. You weren’t the best drinker out there, but you were going to try your very damn best because it was a competition. 

With no expectation of winning, you swallow the last drop of soju and slam the bottle back onto the table, when you realise that everyone was staring at the two of you with their mouths open—specifically at Chan.

Following their gaze, your eyes widen in surprise as you see the boy holding an almost half-full bottle of soju, clearly indicating that you were the winner of your little game. 

It’s like a dam breaks, and suddenly everyone’s shouting at the unexpected outcome. Hyunjin and  Jisung scream while looking back and forth the bottle and Chan, while Felix, Seungmin, and Jeongin sit with wide eyes and open mouths, unable to process that Chan just lost to you.

On the other hand, Changbin watches Chan with a smirk, which slowly drops when he realises that Minho, who was sitting beside him, was staring at him with raised eyebrows, clearly asking the question ‘What the fuck just happened?’.

Just as he’s about to pull Changbin to the side to question him, you shoot up from your seat, stumbling around almost immediately because of the sudden bout of dizziness that hit you. You fall back onto your seat as fast you had gotten up, and Chan wraps an arm around you almost instinctively, making sure you didn’t fall off your seat. 

The table is back to having their own conversations a few minutes later, as if they weren't just screaming over your victory, with Hyunjin and Jisung having a rock-paper-scissors tournament between themselves, proposed by Jisung who was still sore about losing to Hyunjin.

Alcohol clouds your mind as your head lols back and forth, with soft giggles spilling from your lips. In your drunken state, you register the arm wrapped around you, and you turn your head to look for the owner of said arm. 

Chan looks at you with the fondest smile as he tries to hold back his own chuckles at how cute your giggles were, at the same time being extremely conscious of the way you fit perfectly around his arms. He thanks his lucky stars that you were drunk as he held you, assuring him that there was no way you were going to hear how fast his heart was beating. 

“Oh?” you drawl, squinting at the boy beside you. “Who might you be?” 

And at that very moment, Chan hopes with all his heart that there is no one else who will get to witness what he was seeing right in front of him. 

There are strands of hair covering your face, cheeks red from the alcohol (and from the close proximity to him, but he doesn’t need to know that) and eyes drooping from the oncoming sleepiness. Yet, to him, you were still the most beautiful in that moment. 

“I’m Chan,” he replies sweetly, hesitating for a moment before adding more to the sentence. “Your friend.”

An exaggerated gasp escapes you as your eyes widen comically. Words tumble from your mouth, with hiccups disrupting your sentences every now and then. “Chan? Bang Chan? From high school? The really, um-" hiccup "-cute boy who tutored in the library? The super popular dude? You’re my-" hiccup "friend?”

There’s a light pink flush dusting his cheeks at your words, but he laughs nonetheless while nodding, finger reaching out to tap your nose. “Yes, I am.” 

Scrunching your nose at the contact, you continue giggling when the sound of someone clearing their throat interrupts the little exchange you and Chan were having. Chan turns to face his friends, and immediately starts coughing when he realises that they had been watching the whole scene with amused expressions. He awkwardly retracts his arm from around your waist, only for you to get up and stumble over to where Changbin was sitting, arms reaching out towards him while making grabby hands. “Changbinnnn~”

You plop yourself onto his lap, arms encircling his neck as you pull his ear closer to your mouth. Used to your drunk antics, he concedes, knowing that he’ll end up with more damage if he didn’t listen to you when you were drunk. 

When he is close enough, you cup your hands around your mouth and whisper into his ears. At least, you thought you were whispering. 

“You have really cute friends, Changbin.”

The whole table erupts into cheers at your words, and you immediately cover your mouth with a horrified expression. “Did everyone hear that?”

“You weren’t very quiet, darling,” Changbin snorts, pulling you up with him as he stands. “How are all of you getting back?” 

“We’re all crashing at Felix’s place,” Seungmin speaks up, tapping away on his phone. “The uber’s about to arrive… right now.” 

Grabbing their things, everyone except Minho, Chan, Changbin, and you, make their way out of the restaurant, shouting out hurried farewells and promises of ‘I’ll wire the money to you when I get back!’ to Changbin. 

“Okay, Minho and I will go settle the bill,” Changbin says, readjusting his grip on you. “Chan, can you look after Y/n for a bit?”

“Sure,” Chan replies, looping your arm around his neck as his snakes around your waist. “We’ll be out at the front.”

The moment Chan leaves their sight with you by his side, Minho turns to bombard Changbin with all the questions that had been bothering him the whole night.

“What was that?” Minho asks in bewilderment, pointing to the door that Chan and you had exited from. “How on earth did Chan lose that game when he’s the best drinker amongst all of us?!” 

“It’s called being in love,” Changbin scoffs, shaking his head at his two friends. “Disgusting.” 

The distressed look on Minho’s face dissolves, and is replaced by what one could describe as enlightenment. “No fucking way. I was wondering why he kept smiling at them like an idiot. That explains so much! Have they confessed?”

“You think?” Changbin rolls his eyes, knowing that there was no way either of you had the courage to confess first. “The only way either of them will confess is if they are drunk.” 

“But Y/n is dru-” Minho starts in confusion, when he stops mid-sentence, realising what Changbin had just done. “You evil genius.”

“What can I say,” Changbin states proudly, brushing imaginary dirt off his shoulder. “I wonder what’s going on outside,” he mutters under his breath, staring at the door. 

On the other side of the door, Chan finally succeeds in getting you to sit down with him on a curb, his jacket folded neatly under your bottom to make sure that you were not sitting on the hard cement. “I’m tired,” you whine, head dropping onto the warm shoulder beside you. 

Chan tenses up at the sudden contact, staring at the top of your head, when you nuzzle your cheek against his shoulder. At the feeling of your cheek against his shoulder, he relaxes, and positions himself such that you didn’t have to strain your neck. 

There’s a comfortable silence between the both of you, until you decide to break it by asking Chan a very obvious question.

“We’re close friends right?” 

You lift your head from Chan’s shoulder, almost whining out loud at the loss of comfort, but you decide that asking him that question was more important. Clearly, drunk you had very different priorities. 

Chan just nods and replies with a soft “Of course”, wondering why you were suddenly asking that question. “Why?”

“Since we’re close friends, can I tell you a secret?” The last few words are spoken in a hushed whisper, as you reach out and grasp Chan’s soft and warm hands. His larger hands clasps yours, as he chuckles at your question. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Y/n. You’re drunk, and you might regret telling me when you sober up.”

“No!” You almost shout, alarming Chan who looks around to make sure no one heard your exclamation. You continue in a softer tone, to Chan’s relief. “You’re my close friend! So I won’t regret it.” 

And the wide smile you show Chan almost makes him want to kiss you right there and then. Almost. 

“Alright then,” Chan agrees, rubbing circles into the skin on your hand. “Go ahead, tell me your secret.”

Giggling, you use your free hand to beckon him closer, your face moving closer to his at the same time. Just as his ear is close enough to you, you whisper out the words that make his heart stop. 

“I think I like you.” 

He freezes in place, eyes staring at the black tar road ahead of him as his heart hammers against his ribcage because of your nonchalant words. He gulps before slowly turning to face you, the person he had grown to like more than he could ever imagine coming into his view. He takes quick, shallow breaths as he continues to stare at you, unsure of what to say. 

Luckily (or unluckily, for Chan), you decide to continue talking, baring your heart and soul to him. 

“It’s like...” you start, trailing off after your first two words, before finding the right words to continue. “It’s like I was always happy in life, but you made me realise that it was possible for me to be happier when you are there with me.”

And the smile you give Chan, accompanied with the words you had just uttered, makes him want to protect you from the rest of the world. He’s not sure if he loves you, but what he’s sure about is that all he wants to do is hug you and never let go, to be there for you every minute, every second. And he thinks that’s enough. 

That’s enough reason to hold onto you and never let go.

Opening his mouth, Chan is about to reply to your drunk confession, when the sound of soft snores fill his ears. 

Leaning against the light pole that was situated very conveniently behind you, you had fallen asleep in the split second Chan had taken to make his move. Your chest rises and falls with every breath you take, and Chan can’t help but breath out a laugh at your timing. 

There’s always tomorrow, he thinks.

x.

There’s white noise playing in your ear as you stare up at your ceiling.

Changbin is seated at the edge of your bed saying something important, you assume. You aren’t listening; your brain cells have decided to go on a strike and replay the scene from yesterday on loop. 

I think I like you.

You want to scream. You want to scream and murder the boy sitting beside you so bad. After all, it was his fault that you ingested that goddamn devil liquid that made you spill more than your guts. 

It was a wonder that you were able to find a friend as precious as Chan, and there you lay in despair, all thoughts of facing Chan again slowly slipping away from your fingertips. There was absolutely no way you were going to be able to see him after the stunt you pulled yesterday. 

“Y/n, are you listening?!”

“No.” 

A hand wraps around your arm and you feel yourself being pulled up, coming face-to-face with your distressed best friend. “Stop being stubborn. Calm down and listen to what I have to say.”

And that’s when you snap.

“Stubborn!?” you shriek, clutching the ends of your hair. “I just confessed to your friend, Seo Changbin. I was drunk, and I confessed my very large and real crush to the person I am crushing on. I have ruined any chance at friendship with him, so don’t tell me to stop being stubborn and to calm down!”

Taking a deep breath, Changbin pulls you towards him, both his hands resting against your cheeks. “Listen here. Stop being a wuss. Yes, you confessed when you were drunk. Yes, it’s embarrassing as fuck. But get over it. You know Chan. Is he the kind of asshole who drops friendship over small things like rejection?” 

There’s a pout playing at your lips as you shake your head, partly due to the way Changbin was squishing your cheeks, and the other half because you knew he was right. 

“But I still don’t want to face him yet,” you whine, pushing his hands away from your face and diving back into your covers. “I just want to wallow in self pity, and hopefully waste away on this bed so that I’ll never have to face anyone ever again.”

Changbin knows that there was no convincing you otherwise, so he settles for sighing and getting up from your bed. 

“Don’t stay in bed for too long. I’ll order us food for later.”

Muttering something under your breath, you roll over and bury your face into your pillow, sighing as you think about the boy whose smile gave you more warmth than the sun could ever provide.

You’re in the midst of imagining how different today would’ve been if you hadn’t opened your dumb mouth when your phone rings and cuts off your thoughts. Reaching out for it, your mouth runs dry when you see the name displayed on your screen.

“Chan :)”

Your finger presses the decline button and your phone clatters against your bedside table as you decide that you are not ready to talk to Chan yet. And you’re not sure if you’ll ever be ready to talk to him, let alone face him. 

A minute after declining the call, there’s a series of knocks on your door, and you shout out a “Go away!”, not wanting to hear anything related to Chan and how you need to stop being a coward. But as the knocking continues, getting louder as time passes, you start getting annoying and realise you have no choice but to open the door.

“What the fuck do you want, Chang-”

You cut yourself off as you take in the person standing in front of you with wide eyes, looking as handsome as ever even with the furious look painted on his face. 

The silence is thick with tension, and you can’t help but avert your eyes, choosing to look at anything but the boy in front of you. 

“Why are you ignoring me?” Chan asks, voice quiet and flat. “I’ve been calling and texting you all morning.” 

“Um, I-” you start, not knowing how to answer his question. You imagined your day going various ways, but this definitely wasn’t in your plans. “Did Changbin call you?”

“I asked,” he starts, walking towards you. You take a few steps a back, and continue walking backwards until your hands come into contact with your dresser. You were trapped. “Why are you ignoring me, Y/n?”

You blink rapidly, not used to this closed-off version of Chan. The usual warmth and softness in his eyes were missing, and instead all you saw was disappointment and anger. You open your mouth to speak, but it wasn’t easy to get the words out. 

“Was it funny messing with me?” Chan continues, not breaking eye contact with you once. “To just get my hopes up and disappear like it all meant nothing?” 

“W-what?” 

“How was it so easy for you to just start ignoring me?” 

“No I-”

“Is that all I mean to you?” And instead of the disappointment and anger, you see pure, unfiltered hurt, and that was enough for your walls to come crashing down. Tears well up in your eyes as you look at the boy in front of you, and it’s like a dam breaks. 

“I’m sorry.” Sobs wreck your body as you wipe the tears that don’t seem to stop. “I-I’m so fucking sorry, Chan. I was scared.”

“Scared because you just said that in the spur of moment and you don’t actually mean it?”

“No, I was scared because I like you too fucking much!”

There’s a pregnant silence between the two of you, and you continue staring at the floor, vision blur with stubborn tears that refuse to fall. And that’s when you hear it.

A chuckle. 

It’s soft, and you would’ve missed it if not for the pin drop silence in the room. 

You slowly lift your head up to confirm if you actually heard what you heard, or if you were hallucinating, when you see it. 

Chan was smiling. 

“Can’t believe it worked.” 

What on earth did that mean?

“W-what do you mean?” you ask, sniffing softly. 

“This was Changbin’s idea. For the record, I was against it.” Chan’s hands come up to rest on your cheeks, his thumb wiping away the tears on your cheeks as he smiles softly at you. “I mean, of course I was hurt and worried. But I just wanted to come over and talk it over like a normal person.”

His smile widens as one hand continues cupping your face, while the other reaches to tuck the one stray strand of hair behind your ear. “He said you’ll never admit things unless I, uh, scared you a little.

You stare at Chan as the gears work in your head, putting the pieces of information. The moment the last piece clicks in place, you stare in shock at the boy standing in front of you with a sheepish smile.

“What the fuck?!” you yell, equal parts of relief and anger taking over your mind. “I fucking hate you!”

And with that you storm off towards your door, Chan chasing after you with apologies spilling from his mouth. But the both of you knew that you weren’t actually upset, which can be seen by the giggles accompanying every apology.

Just as you’re about to leave your room, you’re pulled back into warm arms, and you fight every urge to melt right into his embrace. His arms wrap around your frame tightly, but gently. You feel his strong heartbeat against your back, and it’s enough to make you shiver, goosebumps erupting all over your skin. 

“Do you hate me?” Chan asks, chin resting on your shoulder as you feel his breath tickle your neck. 

“Yes.”

“Really?” Chan asks in amusement, lips against your ears and voice just above a whisper. “That’s a pity then. Because I like you too fucking much too.” 

He whispers the last part of the sentence, making your knees go weak and your heartbeat pick up its pace as it usually does whenever the boy who stole your heart was involved. 

You turn around in his arms to face him, sighing contentedly at how things ended up turning out.  “I’m really sorry about the ghosting.”

“It’s okay, love,” Chan assures you, the pet name inducing butterflies in your stomach. “I would’ve been embarrassed too, if I had confessed to you when I was drunk.”

“I would’ve loved to see that.” You whine at the unfortunate circumstance of you confessing instead of Chan. “I probably looked like an idiot while confessing.”

“Since I’m your boyfriend, can I tell you a secret?” Chan teases, repeating what you said the night before with a little twist. Smacking his arm lightly for the jab, you nod with a laugh, ignoring the way your face heats up when he refers to himself as your boyfriend.  

“I really wanted to kiss you when you were confessing.” There’s mirth in Chan’s eyes as he gazes at you the same way he did back at the restaurant. The only difference was that you knew he liked you back. And you had never been happier. 

“Go for it.”

And that’s all the confirmation that Chan needs to lean down and press his lips against yours in a feather-light kiss, as your hands rest on his chest, appreciating the strong beat his heart was playing. 

You part a few seconds later, eyes still closed as a smile plays on both your lips, before you’re pulled for another kiss, this one more forceful than the one before. His lips press against yours harder, and his arms pull you closer—as close as you could be. You respond with equal fervor, pouring every emotion you have into the kiss, when you’re interrupted by a loud cough. 

“I would appreciate it if I didn’t have to bleach my eyes every time I see the two of you.”

Oh. 

It completely slipped your mind that Changbin was just a few steps away from your room, and you want to crawl under your bed and befriend the monster there when you see the haughty smile on your best friend’s face. 

“I think a thanks is in order.”

Removing yourself from Chan’s arms, you walk over to Changbin, who smiles wider when he realises you are walking towards him. Opening his arms to welcome you in for a hug, he can’t help but shriek when you start punching him everywhere possible.

“Dude, what is wrong with you?!”

“That’s what you get for coming up with stupid ideas to get me to talk!” you snap at your best friend with words that carry no real bite. “Were you that desperate?”

“Clearly!” Changbin replies, exasperated. “It was getting depressing. He wouldn’t stop calling me because he was worried, and you were being a stubborn bitch!” 

At his words, there’s a tinge of guilt that pinches at you when you realise the trouble you had put your best friend through. 

“Okay, I’m sorry,” you say with a pout, burying your face into Changbin’s shoulder. “And thank you.”

“Yes yes, you’re welcome,” Changbin says with a soft smile. He wouldn’t admit it just yet, but seeing his best friend who meant the world to him end up with someone who just as much deserved nothing but the best made him eternally grateful. “Now go smooch your boyfriend. We don’t want him becoming too jealous of the attention you’re giving me.”

“Oh, shut up,” is what Changbin gets in return, as Chan intertwines his hand with yours. Just as Changbin walks out of sight back to his room, Chan turns to you with the biggest smile.

“Now then, shall we go on a date to celebrate our first day?”

“Absolutely.”

And as you and Chan sit on the beach that evening, surrounded by sand and accompanied by the sound of the waves and the soft breeze with a orange hue enveloping you, you think:

Life had never been sweeter.

#stray kids imagines #stray kids x reader #bang chan x reader #stray kids #bang chan #stray kids fluff #stray kids oneshot #stray kids scenarios #skz imagines #skz scenarios #skz oneshot #skz x reader #skz fluff #chan x reader #bang chan imagines #bang chan scenarios #bang chan oneshot #dee scribbles

[shurisneakers]

shut in [7]

Summary: When your high profile mission goes terribly wrong, you’re forced to hide in a safehouse with a man you’ve never met before. With seemingly nowhere else to go, you’re forced to work together to figure out who is trying to have you assassinated before it’s too late. (Sam Wilson x Reader, Hitman AU)

Warnings: cursing, implied abuse, death, implied ptsd, injuries, broken bone, origami and paper planes

Word count: 3.7k

A/N: ONE MORE WEEK !!!!!!!!! ONE MORE WEEK !!!!!!!! also gif is somewhat related except steve isn’t there sorry to crush any hopes

i also appreciate feedback so if you would like to, please consider dropping me an ask or comment ly guys!! also if you want to be on the taglist, it’s mentioned at the bottom of the chapter.

here’s my ko-fi if you’d like to support my writing <333

Previous Part || Shut In Masterlist

“Is there a reason you’re back so early?”

Both of the men nervously glanced at each other, silently urging the other to talk. A quiet form of encouragement.

“We chec- we checked all the neighbouring towns. All your safehouses,” one of them finally sputtered up after his partner elbowed him in the ribs.

“And?”

“We coordinated with all our guys across the country to look for them-”

“All I’m hearing are a bunch of excuses,” they twirled the gun on its barrel like it was a plaything. “Get to the point.”

“No one knows where they’re hiding,” he finished, swallowing thickly. “We’re still looking though. We just thought-”

“What?” their voice was surprisingly calm. “That your little status update would impress me? That I’d feel sorry for you for working so hard?”

“N-no boss,” his partner finally pitched in, saving face for his companion who opened and shut his mouth wordlessly. “Just keeping you in the loop. We’re close, I can feel-”

“Do you remember what I told you the last time you were here?”

Both of them shut their mouths immediately. Knuckles white, nails digging into their skin as they clenched their fists shut.

“That you wanted them dead,” the first one said with faux confidence. A waver in his voice gave it away.

“Yes, but you’re forgetting the important part,” they tsk’ed, shaking their head, eyes downcast.

They didn’t give anyone a chance to react. They slammed the gun down, swiftly picking it up before taking aim at his partner’s face.

“I said I’d blow your brains out.” They pulled the trigger.

Bits of bone fragment and blood splattered across the first agent’s face. He inhaled sharply, chest rising and falling haphazardly. He had his eyes shut tightly, face away from the carcass slumped over next to him..

“I want every fucking part of this country searched,” they roared, throwing the gun to the side carelessly, leaving someone else to scurry after it. “And since it’s so fucking hard for you to finish two tasks, just get me their location.”

The agent barely nodded, looking like he was about to throw up. His partner’s blood trailed down the side of his face like sweat.

“I’ll kill them myself.”

Hugh Grant was starting to look less appealing on your 6th rewatch of Notting Hill. In fact, he was starting to blend together with the characters from Die Hard and it was becoming difficult to differentiate which part belonged to which movie.

Sam sat opposite to you at the dining table, a set of papers assigned in front of him. The TV was left on, serving as background noise and occasional fillers to substitute the lack of conversation.

“That movie is not making sense anymore,” he stated objectively.

“It stopped after the third time for me.” Your words were hushed, your focus remaining on the swan you were trying to create from scratch.

“If I hear her say ‘I’m just a girl, standing in front of a boy’ one more time, I actually think I’ll projectile vomit.” You could tell that his eyes didn’t shift from the screen though. “I can feel the bile. It’s going to happen.”

You only hummed in agreement, more interested in his lamenting than the actual movie.

Although origami wasn’t one of the skills you picked up in the fucking mafia, you still knew a few basic things. The rest you just folded with confidence and prayed it would work.

What other options did you have when you were stuck together in a house with no WiFi?

Sam had made a paper bowl to hold the car keys and the few dollars you picked up from Pierce’s place. It looked like it would fall apart at any given moment, its structural integrity questionable at best.

You had made a small flower that rested on the table in front of you. You were sure it would go missing the minute a draft entered the room.

He had given up after his contribution of the bowl. Apparently his creative expertise extended only towards that and paper airplanes, not that that stopped him. He was folding and manufacturing them with a vengeance.

“How is this supposed to help, Wilson?” you questioned, unable to contain the smile that grew on your face at the sheer number of planes he was making.

“Just because it’s not a decorative marvel-” he shot back in its defence, “-doesn’t mean it’s useless.”

“Oh, yeah? What else can it do other than not fly?” You watched as he launched one of them. It did a loop before falling miserably to the floor.

“Hey, you can put a message in it. Maybe one of those button trackers, a microphone. The possibilities are endless.” He laughed, folding another one out of the limited supply of paper he had left. “Besides, your thing won’t even lift off the ground.”

“Yeah, but this one can float.” You held up the swan that you had created. That about concluded your knowledge of origami.

“That’s actually… pretty cool,” he admitted. “Teach me how to make one.”

“A true master never reveals their secrets,” you eluded, placing it on the table.

“I dare you to make another.” Sneaky bastard. He knew you wouldn’t be able to replicate it. He saw you struggle the first time.

“Why, so you can just copy off of me?” you dodged, and Sam narrowed his eyes at you. You followed the same.

Neither of you blinked for a while.

“I’m out of paper,” he finally relented, gesturing to the fleet of planes that littered the table.

“I’m out of ideas.” You paused, looking down at how you’d spent the last hour. “Do you wanna go test these outside later?”

Sam looked up eagerly and you could just tell he was intending on getting competitive. “Hell yeah.”

“I’m going for a run in some time.” You got up to stretch your limbs, shrug off the fatigue that was setting in. Along the way you left the swan and one of the paper planes on top of the mini fridge alongside the car keys. It was cute. “We could do it then?”

“Sure,” he affirmed. “What time?”

“At around 6-” your eyes landed on the clock on the wall before widening, “-shit, shit, shit, I didn't realise it was five thirty. We have a call with Ransone.”

“Phone’s on the couch,” he mentioned to the living room, sitting up straight. “Why are you freaking out? We still got a few minutes to go.”

You pushed yourself away from the table, forcing yourself to shakie off the drowsiness that had begun to set in.

“You wouldn’t get it,” you mumbled, “He gets pissy if I don’t do things his way.”

You grabbed the phone, punching in the buttons and having it at the ready.

You noticed Sam focused on you with knitted eyebrows but not voicing whatever he had on his mind.

“Ready?” you questioned, but more as a formality. You had to do it regardless.

He simply nodded, looking on as you let the phone ring. If he had noticed your antsiness towards the call, he didn’t bring it up.

Ransone picked up on the last ring, not skipping a beat in answering, “Y/N.”

“Hey Ransone.” You switched the call to speakerphone.

“Are you alone?”

You glanced at Sam. He shook his head, arms crossed over his chest, edging you to continue with the arrangement you had planned the day prior.

Ransone trusted you more. He was more likely to communicate openly if Sam wasn’t around.

“Yeah, I am.”

“Where’s the other one?”

Sam silently scoffed.

“He’s taking a nap.”

“Ah,” Ransone’s tone was condescending. “How have things been?”

“It’s fine.” You press your lips into a straight line, not elucidating. “What’s the update out there?”

“Everything is a mess. We’re trying to figure out who attacked you but since there wasn’t anything left behind or any kind of trace, it’s proving to be... inconvenient.”

“Is it safe to travel?”

“What, with your face on national television?” he laughed. “Nah, I’d say it’s a little too early to be thinkin’ of a road trip. Just stay where you are, I’ll tell you when you can come out.”

Your fingers were thrumming at the table rhythmically, peeking at Sam every now and then for anything he found suspicious or wanted you to ask about.

“Listen, we’ve paid off every big guy to keep this under wraps as much as possible but Pierce was an important person. All the higher ups want this to be solved as quickly as possible. They don’t care about sacrificing a player here or there.”

Pinning the blame on you was easy enough. The faster you were put away, the faster they could stage an “accident” in prison so that none of their secrets were exposed. Wasn’t like they hadn’t done it before.

“Others in the business aren’t likin’ us accusing them of attacking one of our own. Our best bet right now is Serpentine but we haven’t gotten anything to prove it.”

You doubted they ever would. Even if they did do it, Serpentine was notorious for being cunning and stealthy in their operations. They made sure there would be no tracks leading back to them.

“So, we’re at a dead-end,” you verified. There was no telling when this would end, your exit looking further and further away. “We’re fucked.”

“No. We’ll just- Y/N, listen to me,” Ransone called out, drawing your attention back to the call.

“Yeah?”

“I’ve always protected you,” his voice was noticeably softer. “Don’t you trust me?”

You felt the temperature in the room drop.

“You said there would be no one there!”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Ransone scoffed. “I never said that.”

“I walk in there and there’s four people, completely armed.” Forcing yourself to recall it was making your head spin. Maybe you could ask the nurse for a painkiller. “It was supposed to be empty.”

“I think the blood loss is making you delirious,” he chided, looking at the bag of drips hanging above your bed. “It wasn’t even that bad-”

“You’re lying.” The words slipped out before you had the chance to think it over.

“Excuse me?” he tilted his head, tone suddenly sifting to that of warning.

You knew he was. You had agreed to this mission because it was supposed to be easy. It was a break.

“Ivan was there when you briefed me.” You lifted your good arm to point at him shakily. “He knows you’re lying.”

“Does he now?” Ransone quirked an eyebrow, studying his aid who stood in the corner of the dingy hospital room.

A beat of silence passed where Ransone stared at Ivan, waiting for a reply of confirmation.

Ivan only lifted his shoulders in unawareness. “I don’t remember you sayin’ that.”

Your mouth fell agape but you quickly rushed to shut it. Fucking liars. You shouldn’t have expected anything better.

“Told you.” Ransone shrugged. “You’re a smart one, Y/N, so I’m going to let that slide this time. But next time you accuse me of something I didn’t say…”

He trailed off, resting a hand on your broken shoulder. You flinched, jaw clenched so tightly you thought your teeth might break. You tried to imagine yourself somewhere else, desperate to reduce the quivering of your body when he squeezed it lightly.

“You know I’ve always tried to protect you.” He put a finger under your chin, tilting your head to meet his eye. “Don’t you trust me?”

A beat passed before you responded.

“I do,” you said through gritted teeth, pulling your face away from him.

“I’ll ask them to up your dosage.” Ransone took a step away from you, dropping his hand. “I’m going to need my best player on the field as soon as possible.”

You didn’t acknowledge his statement. Every part of your body felt like it was going to combust.

Did he really say that no one was going to be there or was it just the injuries playing with you?

“Get well soon,” he offered, one step out the door. “Buttercup.”

“You trust me, don’t you Y/N?” he repeated when you didn’t respond.

“Yes.” You swallowed, gaze falling to the floor.

“And I trust you. You wouldn’t do anything to break that, would you?”

Sam raised his one hand questioningly as if to ask what the hell he was talking about. An intimidation tactic. He had been using it for several years to reinforce your loyalty.

“I wouldn’t.”

There were things you weren’t telling him, of course. Details about that day or where you and Sam were hiding right off the top of your head. More if you thought about it deeply.

“Good,” came his response. “So if there’s anything you need, let me know. I’m always a call away.”

“Thank you.”

“Talk to you soon.” He ended the call there.

You stood there blankly for a while before dropping the phone to the ground and crushing it. Usually you wouldn’t have to do that; removing the battery would be enough. This time you wanted to.

Your chest rose and fell heavily. You loathed him. Yet, you couldn’t fucking leave. 

“Hey.” Your eyes snapped back to Sam. “We still going on that run?”

__

The wind felt good.

Your muscles were burning and you could feel the constriction of your lungs but you liked it. The endorphins were working their charm.

Sam was right beside you, not questioning why there was so much aggression in your movement. You had lost track of how long you had been running. You couldn’t bring yourself to focus on that.

The path was paved with fallen branches and roots sticking out, forcing you to hop over some of them to avoid falling. It only annoyed you further.

You wanted to punch something. Or someone. The tension was rolling off your back in waves, and if someone saw you the’d probably believe you were going to commit an act of violence.

It was a while before you felt your steps begin to falter, the need for a proper breath taking precedence over the want to run more.

“Timeout?” you asked Sam breathlessly, slowing your pace to a jog.

“Sure about that, Usain Bolt?” he huffed, slowing his pace to match yours.

“Sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it,” he dismissed it. “T’was fun.”

Now that you had slowed down, it forced you to come to terms with how much energy you had just burnt out.

“You wanna talk about what’s on your mind or ignore it?”

“Rather not talk about it for now.” The more you thought about him, the angrier you got. And as of late, you had realised that your method of dealing with that anger wasn’t the best.

The air was getting colder. It was getting harder to see what was in front of you, relying on the few rays of sunlight that shone through the treetops. You took a roundabout at your self declared checkpoint, changing course back to the house.

Sam followed wordlessly, but his presence was strangely comforting. Warm.

“Thank you.”

“For...” he trailed off, prodding you on.

“I don’t know. This.” You gestured to the path ahead of you. “I didn’t think you’d agree to it.”

“Why wouldn’t I?” His eyebrows knit together in puzzlement.

You didn’t have an answer to that. Probably because you weren’t used to people just doing nice things for no apparent reason.

“How are you so calm all the time? I’ve never seen him get under your skin,” you asked quietly. “How do you do it?”

He didn’t answer straight away. He mulled over it as he dodged broken sticks and upended roots on the ground. You would be fine if he didn’t answer either; as long as he knew that you appreciated it.

“I just realised that everything he put into me was destructive. Actively worked on unlearning it,” he replied after a while. “It took me years to even begin.”

You expected to hear that but it didn’t make it easier.

“I don’t even know how to start,” you mumbled. It was so tiring, even thinking of where and how it began. It was all you knew. All you were taught.

“If I could add something?”

You looked at him questioningly.

“You had a different relationship with him than all of us, Y/N. A deeper one. It’s not easy to forget that,” he pointed out. “But… you’re not him. That takes strength.”

These weren’t new revelations. It was things you had told yourself earlier to rationalise all your actions. You knew it on a surface level but it was difficult to convince yourself sincerely.

You didn’t say anything, just continued jogging with an eye on the ground. 

It felt better to hear it from someone else. A starting point to maybe get to where he was, too.

“I just can’t believe anyone took him seriously enough for him to get this far,” Sam added, a tick of annoyance in his voice. “I don’t condone bullying but someone should have just punched him in the face as a child.”

It wasn’t even the funniest thing you had heard him say but for some reason it elicited a snort from you, soon giving way to a laugh.

His face snapped to yours at the sound of your laughter, a small smile growing on his face.

His brief moment of distraction was all it took for him to not notice the tree root sticking out in front of him. His ankle got caught in the wood, sending him stumbling to the ground face forward.

“Oh shit,” you cursed, halting in your place immediately, dropping to your knees to where he was.

“Fuckin’ hell,” he groaned, turning onto his back. “I think I broke my face.”

“That may be a bit excessive but your nose is definitely bleeding,” you knew this was serious but you were finding it difficult to control your laughter once you realised it wasn’t a life threatening injury.

“Just leave me here to die.” He covered his eyes with his elbow, refusing to look at you.

“C’mon, Wilson. Let’s get you fixed up.” You stood up, offering your hand. He grabbed onto it, hoisting himself up.  “Can you stand up straight? Do you think you have a concussion?”

“World class assassin,” he grumbled, shaking his head to imply he was fine other than a possible broken nose.

“Promise I won’t tell. Your reputation is safe,” you said it humorously but with conviction, hoping to make it less embarrassing for him. Not that you’d let him forget it any time soon.

It took longer to walk back considering how far you had ventured out, along with the fact that you had to guide him as he held his nose in the air to try and control the bleeding.

You pushed open the door to the house, holding it open as he walked in. Sam made his way to the dining room after you told him you’d get the first aid kit for the second time during your stay there.

By the time you returned from the bathroom, grabbing an old t-shirt along the way, he had a single ice cube pressed to the bridge of his nose.

“That’s not going to be enough.” You dropped the kit onto the table, opening the mini fridge. You emptied the ice cubes from the tray onto the t-shirt, twisting it into a small ice pack.

“These are my battle scars.” You could tell that he was trying not to use his nose. He sounded ridiculous. 

“Whatever makes you feel better, Sam,” you chortled. His mouth eased into a half smile and you didn’t get why until you realised it was the first time you had called him by his name. You didn’t acknowledge it, surprised by how easily it slipped out from your mouth when you weren’t actively stopping it.

You gave him a bit of cotton to wipe off the blood that had dried on his face.

“Look up,” you instructed, standing over him so you could assess the damage. He complied, letting you cradle his jaw softly, tilting his head to see if there were any signs of a fracture or anything worse.

It was a bad fall, but nothing he hadn’t been through before in terms of severeness. It wasn’t going to leave a mark.

“Definitely going to bruise but it’s not broken,” you concluded, going over it once more to make sure.

“Thanks, doc,” his voice came softly from below you. Only then did you realise how close you were standing to him. You could feel his breath on your wrist that was still caressing his face.

It felt like eternity, but he didn’t make an effort to move or shove you away. Your eyes flitted down to his lips for a second. If you just leaned dow-

“Right,” you cleared your throat, taking a step back. “Just hold this to your face for a while to reduce any swelling.”

You handed him the makeshift ice pack, feeling the heat creep up your neck.

“Your turn to use the bed tonight, right?” His voice was significantly lower than what it had been a few minutes ago, something you weren’t acclimated to hearing. It only made your face feel hotter.

“Yeah.” You avoided meeting his eyes, using the time to close the first aid kid. “Unless you want it.”

“No, go ahead.”

It was too early to retire for the evening but suddenly you weren’t all that hungry anymore. Apparently neither was he.

“See you tomorrow, then?” you inquired, turning away before he could see you cringe.

“See you tomorrow,” he confirmed, “Good night.”

You just gave him a short wave over your shoulder and physically restrained from walking to the room, shutting the door and never looking at him again. You hoped he didn’t notice or at least never bring it up if he did.

You couldn’t do this. Not again.

Not when you knew the consequences.

Next part

#sam x reader #sam wilson x reader #mcu fic #sam fic #sam wilson fic #sam wilson fluff #sam wilson angst #sam wilson series #falcon #falcon x reader #the falcon x reader #hitman!sam wilson #hitman!au #shut in fic #marvel fic #marvel #mcu #sam wilson #the falcon #sam wilson fanfiction #marvel imagine #marvel fanfiction #sam wilson imagine #sam imagine

[theyarebothgunshot]

jib 6 breakdown and analysis

standard disclaimer: i am not gonna be linking to every single thing i talk about, but i will try my best to link to the moments that stand out to me the most. i have read long posts about this panel before, so not everything in this post is gonna be original or said for the first time ever, simply because there is a good chance that information has stuck in my mind and has subconsciously formed my view of this panel. this is also in no way, shape or form gonna be coherent, unfortunately. i’m just gonna hope that the cockles hivemind will be able to make sense of this regardless. love and light. and lastly, this is all in good fun, so don’t come at me if you think this is too out there please and thank you.

if i would have to give this panel a signifier, i would say this is the panel of the inside jokes. it’s the panel that shows us how well they know each other, to the point that they finish each other’s sentences and start telling the same punchline to a joke at the same time. 

but besides all of that, it was also the panel of the shoulder touches, husband behavior, and rescuer misha. let’s dive into it.

-

i adore the fact that they are laughing and joking with each other from the first second they get on stage. the way that they tell that story about how they planned to have misha nap and have jensen drink whisky and humm, really reminds me of something that i mentioned a lot during my jib 7 analysis: they are very much in sync.

jensen slinging his arm around misha of course had to be compensated with a manly face and manly grip. the rituals… i know they are intricate.

it’s kind of cute how misha tried to both encourage jensen to try that step, and wanted to make sure he wouldn’t hurt himself lmao. dare i say husband behavior? (i do dare and i will do it again, bam bam!) 

something about the way they talk about j*red just makes me feel like they are such a team, if that makes sense? like, they both think the same things about j*red’s antics and talk in such a united way about it (“and jensen and i were like…” “i don’t even care. he [points at misha] doesn’t care.”) that it just sounds kind of coupley to me. *whispers* husband behavior.

i love that jensen’s first instinct after talking about missing j*red was to go over to misha, put his hand on his shoulder, and talk about his fucking flirting way of pranking misha versus j*red’s painful pranking of misha. “with you it’s like my friend and protector is....” i truly wish the audience wasn’t as loud as they were in that moment because i would love to fully hear that sentence. 

the look on jensen’s face when misha says “save it for when we take off our pants” is just priceless. ‘oh god here we go again, when will he ever learn’ but the funny thing is, he will make the same face later on in the panel, after talking about riding a dragon. that’s the face he makes when one of them goes slightly too far. just thought that was interesting.

what stands out to me the most is his reaction when misha turns around just as he is ‘fake unbuttoning’ his pants like: ‘i’m just kidding i’m innocent’ literally no reason to respond like that if misha is just his buddy.

misha’s “what are you doing?” as jensen is tying his flannel around his waist also stands out to me. he clearly does not like the look and can’t keep his mouth shut (“that was bothering me too”). why would you find the need to comment on your buddy’s fashion choice. (....husband behavior.)

just wanna take a moment to say that it’s very fucking funny that jensen said “don’t take selfies” when you know that just a few years later he would take the chest to chest selfie with misha. oh, jensen. 

we have all heard the “jensen pranks misha on set by flirting with him” story countless of times, but it’s still funny to me how flustered misha seems to get by the fact that jensen can get to him that easily. and jensen’s laugh here is so cute, he fully knows what he is doing. 

misha jokes that he spends more time sunning on rocks now as a merman than he used to, and jensen immediately starts to walk to the apple juice, something i have noticed that he does whenever he wants to avoid something (be it a question or a situation that’s happening on stage). it almost feels like he is stopping himself from making a comment or something. it’s interesting, because he just turns right back around and starts telling the grasshopper joke without getting anything to drink.

which leads to one of my favorite moments between them: misha, beaming, says that he has heard it before but he wants to hear it again, and mouths the words to the punchline along with jensen. he looks at the audience as if to say ‘good one, right?’ and when jensen goes “is this thing on?” misha immediately tries to distract him from his failed joke by using an inside joke (the first inside joke of the panel) with him. aka good husband behavior.

something tells me that “i’ll see you again, grasshopper” is another inside joke, so we’re counting it: number two. 

jensen. jensen pspsps come here. can you please explain to me why you are so horny for misha’s indianrussian accent? i cannot believe him (i can), trying to get him to use the accent to ‘help the girl in the audience’. 

so uhm. i think i just heard something while i was rewatching this panel that i never caught before. when misha reads what is on the box that was put on stage, he says: ‘please take this box and open later in private - daniella.’ and jensen goes: ‘yeah that’s from me’ with a flirty Look on his face like. hello??? why have i never seen anybody talk about this??? i’m??? internally screaming??? rest assured i had to take 5 when i saw this shit. 

can we take a second to appreciate the fact that jensen gave misha a once over when misha says the glitter is everywhere, and then jensen said “fairy herpes”. why did your mind go to a sexual reference jensen? why? (we know why).

“i hate when you get that look in your eyes. don’t! i’m sorry!” is one of the most coupley things to say, ever. just wanted to point that out. 

i love the playful vibe they have during this portion of the panel: jensen asking misha what he will do for the audience (thinly veiled excuse for wanting misha to do something that jensen will also enjoy), throwing the rings at misha, both of them “panicking” and lapping up the spilled apple juice.

look, i couldn’t not include the shirt lift. i had to. especially because of the way he looks at misha afterwards lmao and misha, darling misha, tries to defuse the situation by making a joke and it works because of course jensen does his signature unicorn laugh. sidenote: how cute is jackles when he grabs the guitar, begging people to erase the picture jsfhs. gotta love that man.

“you done messed up” inside joke number 3.

you know what is funny to me? the fact that jensen and misha often pretend not to know certain things about each other when they are on stage together. one example of this is during the underbear debacle, when jensen asks misha to proof he wears orange underwear and pretends he is shocked, even though the whole world knows that misha wears orange underwear. 

in this panel, it happens twice. the first time is here, when misha asks jensen ‘do you actually not smell?’ as if he isn’t one of the people in this world who would know that best. and then he, of course, immediately takes this opportunity to sniff jensen’s armpit. i mean. okay. which is extra funny because jackles doesn’t play along with the whole ‘i have no clue’ bit and just goes “yeah you’re not a stinker” without checking because, clearly, he already knows. 

i love jensen’s little smirk when he hears misha’s dragon would be pink + misha’s reaction to it.

before i read this post i always thought jensen meant that his own dragon would be salmon colored. but now i think that it’s not far fetched to believe jensen was actually thinking about the fact that he has stated he was wearing a salmon shirt. which means that, in this moment right here, he was implying that instead of pink, misha’s dragon (aka jensen) would be salmon. which makes his reaction (looking down, laughing but shaking his head as if he can’t believe himself) very understandable. remember what i said about that being the face he makes when one of them takes it too far? yeah.

but then, something happens that is quite remarkable to me. instead of backing down from what he said, he fully commits to it. he turns to misha, and goes “if i could ride a dragon”. listen to the way he puts extra weight behind “ride” and “dragon”. 

then he asks if he understands the question correctly and repeats “what would it look like?”, the girl in the audience says “yes, but also any special abilities…” but jensen just ignores that because obviously, in his head the dragon is misha and he is not gonna shake that thought process any time soon. so naturally, he goes “i think my dragon that i would want to…” but stops JUST before saying “ride”, the guy KNEW what he was sounding like. lmao jensen i gotta give it to you buddy, good effort. you did well. you came far. you even said “look, i’m just gonna go for it here” even though misha’s face speaks volumes. i love you for that. because everything that came out of your mouth right then sounded very not straight.

in fact, it’s only because of misha’s interference (a reoccurring thing during these panels) that he stops himself completely and goes to talk with misha. i really wonder what would have happened if misha didn’t stop him. i also REALLY wonder what misha and jensen discussed when they turned their backs to the audience. sigh. 

now we get to the juicy stuff. jensen’s little slip up here is really really strange, when you think about it. he says “i have kids” before quickly covering that up with “i have a kid now.” i’m not saying the ackles and the collins are one big happy family or anything like that, but i do think that they are close enough for him to slip up like this. maybe the kids hang out together a lot. maybe they have given each other enough support during those early days of raising kids that it sometimes feels like he had multiple kids at that point in time. idk. but in any case, i don’t think that’s a slip up you’d make unless there was some sort of truth in it. he also kind of stumbles over his words right after that. [before anybody runs to my inbox to tell me that j/2 tinhatters think this is about him and j*red raising their kids together: trust me, i know, but we’re not talking about that.]

misha’s cheeky “i thought you were talking about danneel” followed by the both of them simultaneously saying that jensen does not tell her what to do, made me grin like a fool. that is all. 

the way jensen says “misha, apparently you were looking pale and you need some sugar. there you go.” is so SOFT AND CUTE idek how to explain what i am feeling but it’s just. a lot. oh wait a minute, i do know what to call it: HUSBAND behavior.

“by the way we’re gonna pay so dearly when we get home” “yeah we are” lmao the jdmv vibes are strong in this one. 

look. i know it’s possible that misha woke up alone after that dream, thought to himself ‘i miss her’, went for breakfast, saw jensen, and told this story to him verbatim. but misha is literally telling the story from the pov of waking up from a dream and saying that out loud. it would make sense that he would explain that dream to the person who he woke up with, and that he would follow the dream explanation up with “i miss her”. plus jensen is REPEATING IT as if he was right there when misha said that. add to that the way jackles stumbles over his words here and gets flustered and sits down? and misha’s face? yeah. you done messed up jackles, part 2. 

jensen doesn’t know what to do with himself. just look at his face right after he sits down. and misha, once again, comes to the rescue, trying to continue the conversation about poop in order to distract both jensen and the audience. bless his soul. 

it leads to the second instance of misha pretending that he doesn’t know something about jensen, namely that jensen can’t stand poop even from his own daughter. misha goes: “no? not for you?” as if he didn’t already know that. 

round of applause for the jib team, for putting on ‘this thing called love’ to get jensen and misha to dance……. just saying.

jensen’s little nod to misha right here? husband telepathic communication at its finest. even their silly dad dances are in sync. 

jackles you are NOT being slick we can SEE you tossing the mic to your other hand so you can pull misha in by the waist (or honestly maybe his hand landed lower idk idk it’s possible).

it really is something special, though, what happened right here: jensen, macho masculine grumpy performative jensen, is smiling and laughing and enjoying dancing on stage, doing some ballet moves, all because of misha (and by some extent felicia). not just with felicia or by himself, but with rob, osric, etc. honestly it’s heartwarming to watch. it makes me smile so much. 

-

and that was jib 6. thanks for reading everybody <3 

#cockles #jib 6 #i used a different method to add the timestamps and i really hope it works this time #as always please feel free to share your thoughts ! <3

[parkersharthook]

We’ve Only Just Begun

Peter Parker x reader

Warnings: bad words, crack fluff

2.5k+ words

Reference TikToks: kiss my best friend challenge & rich best friend check

series masterlist

~.~

“Peter I’m bored.”

“Hi bored, I’m Peter.” Peter looked to you with a small smirk

“I know, I did just address you. Also, never say that joke to me every again if you wanna keep dating.”

“ooh, harsh crowd.” Peter laughed.

“babyyyy I’m bored. It’s summer vacation, I should not be this bored.”

“y/n, you’re distracting my intern.” Your dad snipped quickly, elbows deep into some kind of machinery. You weren’t really sure what they were working, having gotten very uninterested once they started. “He’s helping me right now; do you want me to lose an arm?”

You rolled your eyes and spun around in the chair, “dad you always take him.”

“hey, you get him every day during the school year. Summer is my time.”

Peter looked between the father and daughter with a brow raised, “are you two seriously fighting over me right now?”

“well I wouldn’t have to fight over my boyfriend with my dad if Harley was here right now. That selfish idiot left and now you’re the only wonder boy to entertain my dad.”

Tony scoffed and held out his hand, wordlessly asking Peter for some tool. Peter handed it over immediately before turning his head back, “where did Harley go?”

“I don’t know, he just said he was leaving and walked out.”

“maybe he’s got a hot date.”

You huffed and slouched in the seat, narrowing your eyes at Peter. “makes one of us.”

Tony laughed and twisted slightly to give you a wink, “sorry honey but that was the deal. I let your boyfriend stay here if he helps me out.”

You rolled your eyes so hard Peter was concerned you’d see your brain, “oh puh-lease, you wanted Peter here just as much as I did. Either for Spidey stuff or normal nerd stuff, you’re just using this as an excuse.”

“fine but at least I’m not complaining about him sneaking into your room every night.” Peter sputtered, his face going instantly red and almost dropping whatever mechanic was in his hand.

“oh Mr. stark, i- we don’t- it’s not-“

“relax kid, if I was going to crucify you I’d have already done it.” Tony spun to face you, “now can you please go bother someone else. If you really want to spend time with Peter you’ll let us finish this.”

You huffed and left the lab as Peter blew you a quick kiss causing you flip him off jokingly. This is not what you wanted when you wished for your boyfriend to get along with your dad.

--

It had been a few hours and you were still bored. You had promptly gone to your room after leaving the lab and gone on tiktok, you’re absolute favorite way to waste time but now you were bored again. And you missed Peter, especially after a stupid trend kept popping up on your fyp of people kissing their “best friends” making you realize you weren’t kissing your very kissable boyfriend right now.

As if he could read your thoughts, Peter waltzed into your bedroom and immediately shucked his shirt off to wipe his face and hands.

“well hello to you too stud.” You said, biting your lip and very obviously ogling his toned body.

Peter laughed as he threw his oil stained shirt into the hamper and went to grab another from the dresser. You pouted, “why are you putting a new one on? You look fine without it.”

“because it’s the middle of the day and anyone could come looking for us and I am not about to be killed by any of the avengers because I’m corrupting their ‘little princess’”. Peter said as he put the new shirt on and flopped next to you, his chin now resting on his hand as he looked up at you.

“ugh they need to get over themselves and realize that we’re adults who’ve been dating for three years and basically already live together.”

Peter shrugged, his empty hand rubbing against your bare leg casually. “you’re always going to be the little girl they watched grow up.” He laughed at your pout and squeezed your thigh, “what have you been up to? Cured your boredom?”

“No.” you huffed, “just been scrolling on tiktok. Kinda want to start making them, could be fun.”

“what would you make?”

You shrugged, immediately struck with a great idea. “I don’t know whatever the trends on. I’m gonna put the tv on, don’t move.”

You shimmied out of bed, setting your phone up as discreetly as possible and turning on your tv. You started the video and moved back to the bed. You knew the trend was to kiss a best friend but you thought it would still be fun with Peter, plus you are best friends… you’re just also already dating. So not cheating, just a loophole.

Peter was still on his stomach, hand supporting his face, as he scrolled aimlessly through Instagram. And with you sitting against your headboard, it looked friendly enough. You waited for the right time before sliding down so you were laying next to him, practically under him. He looked up at you and smiled and for a second you were worried that he was gonna go ahead and kiss you but luckily he waited just long enough where you could initiate it in time with the song. You surged forward, hand immediately coming to weave into his curls to pull him closer.

Peter was obviously not expecting you to kiss him so aggressively so he fell slightly before catching himself on one arm that was now positioned next to your head, the other going to hold your hip. Now you really were under him.

You got lost in kissing him for a few moments when you realized the video was probably done and detached your lips. You giggled as Peter chased your lips, eyes still mostly closed. You slid out from beneath him and walked over to your phone.

“wha- where are you going?” Peter pouted, running his hands through his messy curls. You bit your thumb nail slightly as you rewatched the video, it was cute. “did you take a video of that?”

You nodded and showed him, watching a goofy smile stretch onto his face as he looked up at you, “so when you said you were gonna start filming TikToks you meant immediately.”

You shrugged and sat next to him, “no but the opportunity presented itself.”

You quickly captioned the video ‘sooo I kissed my bsf’ and tagged Peter’s account before posting it and throwing your phone to the side.

Peter kissed your bare shoulder, “is this gonna become a regular thing?”

You giggled and shrugged, “I don’t know. Guess you’ll have to wait and see.” Peter groaned, grabbing you around the middle and falling back onto the bed, pulling you down with him.

--

It was a few days later when you opened tiktok again, surprised to see your video had racked up 600 thousand likes and over 5 million views. You were surprised to see that it had gone semi-viral and yet no one recognized you. Not that you had your legal name in your username and you definitely weren’t as famous as your dad and family, but you weren’t hidden away either. Honestly though, this was kinda nice to just be another twenty-one year old on tiktok, posting stupid videos for fun.

You went to the comments immediately to see what people were saying and laughed at some of the funnier ones. You noticed that even MJ had commented.

Usera: aw so cute *blocked*

Userb: ms girl… he’s been waiting for this

Userc: no way best friends kiss like that

everythingbagel: “bsf” yeah fucking right y/n

⇲ begginstrips: hehe love you mj

You went back to your fyp and scrolled through a bit before you ran into stassie baby’s video of her showing off Kylie’s car collection with the audio saying, ‘rich best friend check’. You quickly sent the video to Peter, who was currently at lunch with Harry and Ned.

y/n: wanna do this when you get back?

Peter: lol sure seems funny

it was a few more hours before Peter got back to the compound, him easily finding you curled into the couch watching How To Train Your Dragons. You smiled as he dropped a kiss to your forehead, “this movie again?”

“it’s one of the best movies ever made,” you sassed back, “so yes, this movie again.”

He leaned down over the back of the couch smiling into your face before giving you another quick succession of kisses. “wanna film that tiktok?”

You checked the time before nodded, languidly stretching your body and standing up. “where should we start it?”

And that’s how Wanda found you and Peter at 3 am, videoing rando fancy stuff around the compound, you strutting and swaying your hips dramatically. Wanda followed Peter around, who was filming, laughing at your antics and giving you tips on what to include. The three of you got so loud, that Tony eventually woke up to investigate what the three of you were up to… as it was usually not great.

“are you sure we can film this? I don’t reveal any state secrets.” Peter whispered not so well.

“what state secrets are we revealing?” you whirled around to see your father, one brow raised and a hip cocked to the side.

“good entrance, very dramatic dad.” You said with a laugh, “and there aren’t any state secrets being revealed.”

“what are you filming?”

“A tiktok.”

Tony rolled his eyes, “I’m not even gonna pretend to know what that is. Anyways go to bed, you guys are being loud.”

“yeah, yeah. We’re just finishing up.” You watched your dad walked away before turning back to Peter and Wanda, “let’s go film in front of one of his suits.”

--

Peter had posted the photo to his account and captioned it: “@begginstrips is my sugar momma ;)” before promptly throwing his phone to the floor and passing out next to you in bed.

It was 10 in the morning – which was far too early as you and Peter had only fallen asleep at 4 am – when MJ started calling you and didn’t stop until you literally rolled out of bed onto the floor to pick up.

“what the fuck m? it is too fucking early.”

“you’re all over the news.”

You paled, “what?” Everything you ever did wrong very quickly flashed through your eyes, your mind scrambling to remember what was caught on camera.

“yeah your tiktok went viral. People are freaking out.” You sagged in relief.

“Jesus mj you can’t just say that shit for it to be tiktok.” A pause, “wait which tiktok?”

“the one Peter posted of his ‘rich best friend’ and you walking around the compound.”

You let out a quick laugh, “oh ok. That’s not that bad.”

“also can we talk about this whole best friend schtick you and Peter have going on tiktok? What the fuck?”

You chuckled slightly before crawling back into bed, your heart now beating at a normal pace. “the first one was just a trend so I lied to follow it and then it was just the sound. Also he is my best friend, he’s just also my boyfriend.”

MJ scoffed, “rude. I’m your best friend.”

“right, right. Sorry.” Peter grumbled slightly as he buried his head into your hip. You gently carded your fingers through his curls, “do you know why it’s all over the news?”

“apparently people didn’t know you existed? I don’t know, just thought that you might want a warning in case your dad got angry.”

“well I appreciate it, regardless of the fact that you basically gave me a heart attack and woke me up at butt fuck.”

“it’s 10 am, get over yourself and have a cup of coffee. Anyways, lunch tomorrow?”

You yawned, “sure sounds good. Wanna invite betty?”

“she’s still in Hawaii with her family, they’re coming back this weekend.”

“right, ok. Let me know what time you wanna go.”

“will do. Love you bitch.”

You smiled into the phone and yawned again, “love you bitch.” You hung up and tossed your phone to the floor, rubbing your eyes harshly.

Peter barely opened his eyes as he looked up at you, “what was that about?”

“apparently we’re famous.” You replied as you reached over his body to grab his phone.

Peter snuggled deeper into your body, wrapping his arms around your leg and laying his head in your lap. You rested against the headboard, one hand still playing with his curls and one now scrolling to Peter’s tiktok.

You blanched as you saw the video had gotten over 6 million likes and 45 million views overnight. And according to the comments, people were very confused.

User1: ummm is that the avengers compound or am I tripping?

User2: so we’re all just finding out tony stark has a child rn?

User3: mmmm something don’t add up here?

You sighed as turned the phone off, rubbing your eyes again. A headache was quickly setting in. You leaned down to press a chaste kiss to Peter’s cheek before slowly working your way out of his grasp.

He whined, “baby where are you going? It’s early.”

“I have to go talk to my dad about this but you keep sleeping babe.”

He rolled over to face you as you walked towards your closet. “are you sure? I can come with you.”

“no, it’s ok baby. I really don’t think it’ll be a big deal.”

--

It was slightly a bigger deal than you realized. Pepper was now talking you through ‘making sure SI had a good image on social media’ while your dad smirked in a corner.

Pepper stroked your arm, “this isn’t bad press or anything. You’ll just have to be careful going into the future. And you know that with being a Stark, you’re gonna have a lot of eyes on you and probably a lot of criticism.” She sighed, “we’ve done a good job shielding you from the press for this long but it might be a lot.”

You smiled at her softly. Pepper really had always been like a mom to you and now that her and your dad were officially married, it was even more true. “Yeah I know. I’m honestly not too worried.” You turned to your dad, “did you know people didn’t know I existed?”

Tony shrugged, “Doesn’t surprise me. I have almost every record of you sealed from the public for your safety and you never were one for the spotlight.” He walked over and dropped a kiss onto your forehead, “never show my suits on your clock app again.”

You rolled your eyes and stuck your tongue out at him, “for someone who owns a company based on new and cutting edge technology, you sure are out of touch.”

He gasped, a hand pressed to his heart. “how dare you, my own daughter.”

Pepper laughed softly, “she’s not wrong. Anyways, post whatever you want to your personal account. You’re an adult, so we trust you just be careful. I don’t want to see you getting hurt.”

You kissed her cheek before standing and stretching out your back. “don’t worry, I already have a plan for my next video.”

“god help us.” Tony muttered.

#marvel #spiderman #peter parker #stark!reader #peter parker x stark!reader #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker imagine #marvel fanfiction #marvel imagine #emma writes #pp tiktok series