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namoamii · 1 year

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New anon here!! I don't get to talk about my thoughts on V3 a lot but I think it's a pretty good discussion topic, I'd like to talk here if that's okay!!

Minor TW for mentions of self harm, discussing 'old' Danganronpa fandom.

I'll be very honest here, I like V3 significantly less then the original 2, I'm excluding UDG from that because I also just don't like it. I used to really hate it, but I've come to terms with it by now.

I think V3 had a lot of potential for good meta commentary, they could've used it to address how people can let themselves be consumed by the media they enjoy. At the time it came out the Danganronpa fandom was pretty close to it's heydey, and it was INFAMOUS for the eccentric, borderline obsessive fans. I think we like to forget that people In Real Life were harming themselves over these games, and for good reason. It's very upsetting to think about, and it gives other fans a "bad rap".

This might be in part what V3 was trying to address, the fans who took their love of the games too far, but to me it just didn't hit home. The overarching plot never really connects anything, it's also very loosely put together, and by the end of the game I'm not really asking "What's going on here?"

A big defense I see of this is that it's intentional. They made a game that felt more soulless as a type of commentary in itself, the death of creativity. I think that's a good interpretation to have! Let people think what they want, but it doesn't really sit well with me personally. Now this is all my opinion of course, it just bugs me a lot that most of the major praise for the game I see comes from very subjective interpretation. That's a bad way of putting it. I guess what I mean is that if that's what the developers intended, they could have and should have shown it more, given it more obvious story beats. You can write a vague story and leave things up to interpretation, a lot of really good stories are just that. There's a limit, though. Just implying most of the story doesn't make it a good writing.

Let your audience connect the dots, yes. Let them come to conclusions, but don't rely on them to completely decode the narrative.

There's also the lying mechanic. Not just in trials, but just the whole motif throughout the game. I really enjoyed that for the most part, it was a new and interesting dichotomy compared to the old Hope vs. Despair, which was running itself a little dry. It would've stayed good. If the ending wasn't such a, for lack of better term, dumpster fire. First of all, I don't think Tsumugi makes for a good mastermind. I understand that she was meant to blend in, be a background character, but even in previous games background characters had something. Tsumugi was just boring. A real corporate plant, which could've been a good twist if, again, there was better foreshadowing. Then the elephant in the room, "It was all fiction!" Very bold choice. I personally don't enjoy being reminded that the fiction I'm consuming is fiction. I use it for escapism, I think a lot of people do. Danganronpa especially works because, while it's dark and pretty gruesome, it never really... feels like the real world. Outside of THH, there's always a tangible level of absurdism. Even in THH, it's not as prominent as in other parts of the series, but it's there. I mean Mondo gets turned into BUTTER. That's fucking ridiculous. Point is, Danganronpa doesn't really feel like it's trying to take place in our world. It's a world like ours, but it's not.

This is part of where V3 really falls apart for me. It really tries to keep the tangible absurdity, there's a (fully sapient??) robot, six talking robot bears, students trapped in a giant vivarium esc dome. None of this would happen in real life! Then, it flips a switch, "This is the real world! Danganronpa drove people crazy, made them do bad things!" And they're right, it did. In OUR world. In reality. Danganronpa is NOT reality, and trying to force that tangibility into V3 almost feels.. shameful. Like the team is judging you for enjoying the media THEY created.

But in the end, not even that matters. Because Tsumugi could be lying. None of what she says is provable. Most of what she says is deceitful at best and just. False at worst. The only proof she has that this takes place in another canon is a SKIN RASH that nobody alive was even there to see. Hell. We're shown a flashback that DIDN'T HAPPEN.

So in the end, what was the point? We're left with more questions than answers, an unsolved mystery, 80% of our cast dead, and an entire franchise almost in shambles (the game also came out on the tailend of DR3, which wasn't done well either, so double whammy in the badly executed department). If you take it at face value, then a beloved series that many people adored suddenly means something completely different (if anything at all) to those who adored it. Or, you love V3, and think it was a good meta commentary, in which case good for you I'm glad you enjoyed it!

If you DON'T take it at face value, then you really don't get any answers. Was Danganronpa fiction? Was it reality? Do the survivors go on to end the killing games? Were there more killing games to begin with? We don't know. We might not ever know.

Side tangent, I know I could just ignore all this. Choose to believe that Tsumugi was lying, or ignore the game altogether, you're absolutely right hypothetical protester. I'm just moderately insufferable about this. Danganronpa is all around not the best written but the first two games were very dear to me and shockingly got me through a lot? I was exposed to it young 😭 but I have media literacy now and enjoy picking the franchise apart and V3 is definitely one of the weaker links for me. Back to the main point.

I understand leaving things open, letting people come to their own conclusions, but you can only leave so many mysteries before people get upset. It's me, I'm people. If I had even a few more answers, something solid, I'd be happier. I won't get that though, because they predicated their game on a lie with no truth.

Bonus that none of this would've been an issue for me if V3 just didn't lean so heavily on world building for it's storytelling.

I'm sorry this was so long I just. I have so many thoughts on V3. I feel it's another case of "Danganronpa having an idea with very solid potential to tackle a serious and/or meaningful topic and woefully mishandling it."

I also have a lot to say about Kokichi but this is already a lot.

I hope you're having a wonderful day thank you for coming to my TED Talk shdhdb

(I asked people’s opinion about V3 a long while ago and this is one of the responses.)

I’m completely blown away by your response as it articulated my frustration with the game so very well. The last trial is indeed a completely non-statement. I think just as you said, and I’m simply rephrasing in my own way: the game mixes up the definitions of Truth, Lie, and Fiction. Fiction can sometimes contain Truth within its Lies, Fiction is so much more nuanced and complicated than just Truth and Lies, centuries of literatures have proved this fact to us (even trial one has taught this to us); the unrealistic and the realistic intermingle, making the critique doesn’t map onto the actual real world — we are not like the in-game audience, we know for sure that danganronpa is a work of fiction and the students are actually fake characters living their fictional lives — Kodaka here is making a straw-man argument by projecting his actual audience onto his fictional audience and calling the former dumb for believing too deeply into his fiction, which he not only created, but also is profiting out of. I might be ok with the former, but his lack of acknowledgement of the latter renders the entire scheme rather insincere and not as self-aware as it wants to be.

Tsumugi is a bad mastermind because she is not the mastermind. She is not Junko who single-handedly facilitated the Despairs and the killing game. She is indeed a corporate plant, a member of the crowd, the true mastermind is the in-game audience who facilitated this reality show.

This might be just my own personal cynicism, but I think the shifted direction might be a result of 1) the lead artist Komatsuzaki’s departure from the game (leaving Kodaka alone to design the characters might be a bad move) and 2) the writer Kodaka tries to be like Eva’s director Anno and show his cynicism to his audience. Of course this is just my personal guess.

Thank you for the response and sorry for the long time it took for me to get to show everyone’s thoughts. I want to respond to y’all as well, so allow me to take a bit more time.

#long post #komaedasks #spoilers

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autumnboyd17 · 9 months

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I wanted to post my thoughts somewhere but didn't know where. So it sat in my notes app until I remembered I had this account.

When tackling a subject like immortality where do I even begin?

Vampires have existed for as long has humans have been able to spread stories. Every culture has some sort of undead being that needs to feed off a humans life force in some essence to survive. Some cultures it was your soul, sucking bit by bit until there was nothing left. For others it was quite literally a human life, the vampire needing to kill and eat to survive like any other predator, in this sense vampires and zombies are the same. Recently the term, energy vampires has risen to popularity, the phrase is used for people draining to talk to. But most notably and persistently, it's blood.

I have held a fascination with vampires for as long as I can remember.

My mom used to go all out on decorations for Christmas and Halloween. Scared that it'd be afraid of them, she introduced me to the decorations as toys or friends. We had a very short cardboard cut out of Dracula and it became my favorite. I carried it around everywhere, my parents referred to him as my first boyfriend. Now he sits on top of my shelves, he's beat to hell but I love him. My mom showed me a movie made in 1987 called, The Lost Boys. Of course she covered my eyes during that one weird awkward sex scene, and I was too young to understand any of the jokes. Spoiler, but I called the twist that Max was the head vampire even after they lead you to believe otherwise. My mom thought I was so smart. Later in the car I asked my mom if vampires were real. She of course said no, and when that answer disappointed me, she told me some people to pretended to be vampires, sharpening their teeth and drinking animal or each others blood, but they can't live off that alone. I think her information was supposed to disgust me but id be lying if I said I hadn't looked into cosmetic teeth sharpening a few times. When I was 7 I spent the night at a friend's house and we watched this "new" movie called Twilight. Growing up, my mom would rent seasons of True Blood from Blockbuster, I knew it was about vampires but I wasn't allowed to watch that one. At some point I was shown Interview with a Vampire. That movie is what introduced me to Don't Fear the Reaper by Blue Oyster Cult, a song I've loved dearly ever since. Despite my fond memories of vampires, werewolves and zombies where my favorites till I got older and into my emo phase. Then, finally, vampires were cool.

I never had a stable friend group as a kid, it changed around every year. My grandpa passed when I was 10, my dad left when I was 11. The only 2 constants I felt like I had were my Mom and our dog Hause. The first 4 months of 2020 took both of them along with the rug under me.

One night when I was sad and on the hunt for nostalgia, I found The Lost Boys. I pirated it to my lap top and watched it for the first time since my mom passed. Its like I could hear her saying prominent lines and fun facts about the actors and the location the movie takes place, Santa Carla. Its a fictional version of Santa Cruz, the board walk and the beaches my parents used to take me too as a baby are all shown in the opening to the movie while a cover of The Door's People are Strange played. Its like I can't watch it without her. And for that its my favorite movie. Watching it as an adult made it loose a bit of child-like wonder, I understand all the jokes now, and I have small crushes on the characters Michael and Star, and my eyes are no longer covered during their awkwardsex scene, though I wish they were. Regardless, my point of view has changed, but still, I remember exactly what it was like in the beginning. Change is sad, but its beautiful.

Since my mom passed I've had a big fear of watching everyone I love die before me. Most people laugh it off but seriously, I don't know if I'd be able to handle losing someone so close again, and since my solution hasn't been to not let anyone get close, its obviously been to die before them. I've attempted suicide over it. So, the idea that someone can be there with you forever. The concept that someone can love you for lifetimes. That consistency, the "always and forever" of it. Its beautiful.

I'm crazy but hypothetically, if I could find a vampire to love me I could get close and never have to even think about taking my own life early just so I'd never have to grieve a day over them. That hypothetical is what keeps me hooked and coming back. Not the sparkles or the teeth. Undying love. Thats the beauty of it.

I do think there's a beauty in death too. The same way there's beauty in birth. We all live, we all die, and when you can't count on the vampires because they don't exist, its the only consistency we really have. Thats all we get. I don't know what happens after death, but I imagine it's peaceful. You just let go of the weight of life and die. No more pain. No more anxiety. No more joy. Just sweet nothing. I hope that when I leave my final breath here I get to join my mom somewhere nice. And maybe everyone else I lose along the way, though I still hope its not many. However, I can't rely on this, there's no certainty in what happens after death, only death.

I'm sure you probably think I'd never even want to think about being a vampire after that. But I would really love that!! It would be so cool to watch humanity grow and learn and progress. Their downfalls and how they rise. I would learn everything I could as a vampire. I would go to college over and over again. Majoring in, Philosophy, Psychology, Sociology, History, English. I would probably need to get a better understanding on science too eventhough it's always been my least favorite subject. I would learn and learn and learn and never worry about running out of time because I'd have all the time in the world. I think at some point though, I'd cut my time as a vampire short. One day I'd wake up and decide I've learned enough to satisfy me, see enough to fulfill me, and stand in the sun one last time.

I think I'd make a good vampire. I'm already a night owl, I'm typing this up at 12:30 am. I don't mind blood. Its really only the fear of people I love dying that holds me back. I could turn everyone I love in to vampires as well, but not everyone I love would want to be a vampire. I'd never be able to live with myself if I selfishly forced eternity on someone who didn't want it.

I think the choice to become a vampire, has all the same pros and cons as choosing to live life as is. I'm going to watch people I care about die, but I also get to witness humanity change and grow every day. I burn in the sun, and I learn as I go along. Accidents can happen, or I can choose to end life early. If you take out the factor of never growing old, the hard choices are the same.

Then you remember, there is no choice to be a vampire or not. The only choice I get is if I want to keep on living. I do. I do want to keep living because dying of old age is the closest I'll ever get to being able to see eternity. And that sounds sick as fuck.

Ultimately, I have my mom to thank for my love of vampires. She's the one who introduced me to the idea as a small child, and her death drove the final nail into the coffin of my obsession. Yes that pun was intended please laugh. I just kinda wish that I could share my thoughts and excitement about vampires with her. Maybe one day, 80 years from now, I'll decide I've learned enough to satisfy me, see enough to fulfill me, I'll leave my final breath here, let go of the weight of life and die. Hopefully I get to join my mom somewhere nice and tell her all about what it was like to almost live for eternity.

#vampires #tw death #the lost boys

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sillyfudgemonkeys · 3 years

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Odd out of the blue question (”was it twitter Silly?” Yeah), but I was told that Yuri (along with Yaoi) are....”fetish words” for wlw(/mlm) content. I know there’s been issues with “yaoi fan girls” in the past, but I never heard of either word becoming blacklisted as a fetish word. All I knew it as was a genre word (mostly in relation to Japanese things) for GL/wlw stuff. With it being used interchangeably with shojo ai (more strictly non mature Yuri) and GL.

Because literal japanese manga magazines have Yuri in the title (Yuri Shimai and Comic Yurihime) which has female authors (so it’s not just men sexualizing lesbians).

Anyway I wanted to make sure I’m not being bullshitted, is it true it’s become a fetish word? Or is it just a fetish word in the West? Or is someone just misinformed and I’m ok? Or do I need to remove it from my vocab? Cause I’m searching and I’m not seeing anything bad about the word but maybe I’m just blind. DX And I want to make sure I don’t make any faux paus in the future. ;w;

#silly talks #yuri #gl #it's cause I called Yukiko/chie a yuri ship #cause 1) it's a genre in fiction #and 2) they are fictional characters (I'd never use that term on a real life lesbian #partially cause A) they are a real person and that's weird to refer to someone as a genrea #B) you don't ship real life people (or at least if you do....you don't bring it to that person's attention)#any GL content I look into usually has those markers cause they are usually japanese/korean/webtoons #so I'm just not used to saying 'wlw' i usually just say lesbian or bisexual when it comes to western things #just adding that for the full scope of my vocab #also this includes the male version of all these terms (is it ok to say Yaoi?)#i'm asking this cause it bothers me and I don't want to say anything bad when I could avoid it you know?#i'm also just confused cause I've read A LOT of yuri manga (and shojo....what can I say I love my romance mangas fdjsakj) and I've never #seen this issue come up orz

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devilsskettle · 3 years

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oh man i have a Lot of thoughts about the autopsy of jane doe, both positive and critical For Sure, i'd be SO excited to see your analysis of it! definitely keeping an eye out for that 👀

thanks! i'm working on something article-like to talk about the film and i don't know what i want to do with it yet lol but if i don't post it on here i'll definitely link it. it's mainly a discussion of gender in possession/occult films in the same way that carol clover describes in men, women, and chainsaws - that there are dual plot lines in occult films, usually gendered masculine and feminine respectively, where the "main" feminine plot (the actual possession) is actually a way to explore the "real" masculine plot (the emotional conflict of the "man in crisis" protagonist). typically the man in crisis is too masculine, or "closed" emotionally, where the woman is too "open," which is why she acts as the vehicle for the supernatural occurrence as well as the core emotions of the film. the man has to learn how to become more open (though if he becomes too open, like father karras in the exorcist, he has to die by the end - he has to find a happy medium, where he doesn't actually transgress gender expectations too much. clover calls this state the "new masculine," and we might apply the term "toxic masculinity" to the "closed" emotional state). part of the "opening up" feature of the story is that it allows men to be highly emotionally expressive in situations where they otherwise might not be allowed to, which is cathartic for the assumed primary audience of these films (young men). another feature of the genre is white science vs black magic (once you exhaust the scientific "rational" explanations, you have to accept that something magic is happening). the autopsy of jane doe does this even more than the films she discusses when she published the book in 1992 (the exorcist, poltergeist, christine, etc) because the supernaturally influenced young woman who becomes this kind of vehicle is more of an object than a character. she doesn't have a single line of dialogue or even blink for the entire runtime of the movie. the camerawork often pans to her as if to show her reactions to the events of the movie, which seems kind of pointless because it's the same reaction the whole time (none) but it allows the viewer to project anything they want onto her - from personal suffering to cunning and spite.

compare again to the exorcist: is the story actually about regan mcneil? no. but do we care about her? sure (clover says no, but i think we at least feel for her situation lol). and do we get an idea of what she's like as a person? yes. even though her pain and her body are used narratively as a framework for karras' emotional/religious crisis, we at least see her as a person. both she and her mother are expendable to the "real" plot but they're very active in their roles in the "main" plot - our "jane doe" isn't afforded even that level of agency or identity. so. is that inherently sexist? well, no - if there were other women in the film who were part of the "real" plot, i would say that the presence of women with agency and identity demonstrate enough regard for the personhood of women to make the gender of the subject of the autopsy irrelevant. but there are none. of the three important women in the film, we have 1) an almost corpse, 2) an absent (dead) mother, and 3) a one dimensional girlfriend who is killed off for a man's character development/cathartic expression of emotions. all three are just platforms for the men in crisis of this narrative.

and, to my surprise, much of the reception to the film is to embrace it as a feminist story because the witch is misconstrued as a badass, powerful, Strong Female Character girl boss type for getting revenge on the men who wronged her, with absolutely no consideration given to what the movie actually ends up saying about women. and the director has said that he embraces this interpretation, but never intended it. so like. of course you're going to embrace the interpretation that gives you critical acclaim and the moral high ground. but it's so fucking clear that it was never his intention to say anything about feminism, or women in general, or gender at all. so i find it very frustrating that people read the film that way because it's just. objectively wrong.

there's also things i want to say about this idea that clover talks about in a different chapter of the book when she discusses the country/city divide in a lot of horror (especially rape-revenge films) in which the writer intends the audience to identify with the city characters and be against the country characters (think of, like, house of 1000 corpses - there's pretty explicit socioeconomic regional tension between the evil country residents and the travelers from the city) but first, they have to address the real harm that the City (as a whole) has inflicted upon the Country (usually in the forms of environmental and economic destruction) so in order to justify the antagonization the country people are characterized by, their "retaliation" for these wrongs has to be so extreme and misdirected that we identify with the city people by default (if country men feel victimized by the City and react by attacking a city woman who isn't complicit in the crimes of the City in any of the violent, heinous ways horror movies employ, of course we won't sympathize with them). why am i bringing this up? well, clover says this idea is actually borrowed from the western genre, where native americans are the Villains even as white settlers commit genocide - so they characterize them as extremely savage and violent in order to justify violence against them (in fiction and in real life). the idea is to address the suffering of the Other and delegitimize it through extreme negative characterization (often, with both the people from the country and native americans, through negative stereotyping as well as their actions). so i think that shows how this idea is transferred between different genres and whatever group of people the writers want the viewers to be against, and in this movie it’s happening on the axis of gender instead of race, region, or class. obviously the victims of the salem witch trials suffered extreme injustice and physical violence (especially in the film as victim of the ritual the body clearly underwent) BUT by retaliating for the wrongs done to her, apparently (according to the main characters) at random, she's characterized as monstrous and dangerous and spiteful. her revenge is unjustified because it’s not targeted at the people who actually committed violence against her. they say that the ritual created the very thing it was trying to destroy - i.e. an evil witch. she becomes the thing we're supposed to be afraid of, not someone we’re supposed to sympathize with. she’s othered by this framework, not supported by it, so even if she’s afforded some power through her posthumous magical abilities, we the viewer are not supposed to root for her. if the viewer does sympathize with her, it’s in spite of the writing, not because of it. the main characters who we are intended to identify with feel only shallow sympathy for her, if any - even when they realize they’ve been cutting open a living person, they express shock and revulsion, but not regret. in fact, they go back and scalp her and take out her brain. after realizing that she’s alive! we’re intended to see this as an acceptable retaliation against the witch, not an act of extreme cruelty or at the very least a stupid idea lol.

(also - i hate how much of a buzzword salem is in movies like this lol, nothing about her injuries or the story they “read” on her is even remotely similar to what happened in salem, except for the time period. i know they don’t explicitly say oh yeah, she was definitely from salem, but her injuries really aren’t characteristic of american executions of witches at all so i wish they hadn’t muddied the water by trying to point to an actual historical event. especially since i think the connotation of “witch” and the victims of witch trials has taken on a modern projection of feminism that doesn’t really make sense under any scrutiny. anyway)

not to mention the ending: what was the writer intending the audience to get from the ending? that the cycle of violence continues, and the witch’s revenge will move on and repeat the same violence in the next place, wherever she ends up. we’re supposed to feel bad for whoever her next victims will be. but what about her? i think the movie figures her maybe as triumphant, but she’s going to keep being passed around from morgue to morgue, and she’s going to be vivisected again and again, with no way to communicate her pain or her story. the framework of the story doesn’t allow for this ending to be tragic for her, though - clearly the tragedy lies with the father and son, finally having opened up to one another, unfortunately too late, and dying early, unjust deaths at the hands of this unknowable malignant entity. it doesn’t do justice to her (or the girlfriend, who seems to be nothing but collateral damage in all of this - in the ending sequence, when the police finds the carnage, it only shows them finding the bodies of the men. the girlfriend is as irrelevant to the conclusion as she is to the rest of the plot).

but does this mean the autopsy of jane doe is a “bad” movie? i guess it depends on your perspective. ultimately, it’s one of those questions that i find myself asking when faced with certain kinds of stories that inevitably crop up often in our media: how much can we excuse a story for upholding regressive social norms (even unintentionally) before we have to discount the whole work? i don’t think the autopsy of jane doe warrants complete rejection for being “problematic” but i think the critical acclaim based on the idea that it’s a feminist film should be rejected. i still consider it a very interesting concept with strong acting and a lot of visual appeal, and it’s a very good piece of atmospheric horror. it’s does get a bit boring at certain points, but the core of the film is solid. it’s also not trying to be sexist, arguably it’s not overtly sexist at all, it’s just very very androcentric at the expense of its female characters, and i’m genuinely shocked that anyone would call it feminist. so sure, let’s not throw the baby out with the bath water, but let’s also be critical about how it’s using women as the stage for men’s emotional conflict

also re: my description of this little project as “a film isn’t feminist just because there’s a woman’s name in the title” - i actually don’t want to skim over the fact that “jane doe” isn’t a real name. of the three women in the film, only one has a real name; the other two are referred to by names given to them by men. i’ll conclude on this note because i want to emphasize the lack of even very basic ways of recognizing individual identity afforded to women in this film. so yeah! the end! thanks for your consideration if you read this far!

#the autopsy of jane doe #men women and chainsaws #horror #also to be clear i'm not saying that the exorcist is somehow more feminist because. it's not. i'm just using it as a frame of reference #you'd think a film from 2016 would escape the ways gender is constructed in one from 1973 but that's not really the case #i actually rewatched the end of the movie to make sure that what i said about the girlfriend's body not being found at the end was accurate #and yeah! it is! the intended audience-identified character shifts to the sheriff who - that's right! - is also a man #the camerawork is: shot of the dead son / shot of the sheriff looking sad / shot of the dead father / shot of the sheriff looking sad /#shot of jane doe / shot of the sheriff looking upset angry and suspicious #which is how we're supposed to feel about the conclusion for each character #the girlfriend is notably absent in this sequence #anyway! this is less about me condemning this movie as sexist and more about looking at how women in occult horror #continue to be relegated to secondary plot lines at best or to set dressing for the primary plot line at worst #and what that says about identification of viewers with certain characters and why writers have written the story that way #i think the reception of the film as Feminist might actually point to a shift in identification - but to still be able to enjoy the movie #while identifying with a female character you need to change the narrative that's actually presented to you #hence the rampant impulse to misinterpret the intention of the filmmakers #we do want it to be feminist! the audience doesn't identify with the 'default' anymore automatically #i think that's actually a pretty positive development at least in viewership - if only filmmakers would catch up lol #oh and i only very briefly touched on this here but the white science vs black magic theme is pretty clearly reflected in this film also

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watermelonlovershigh · 3 years

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Bisexual Harry (MILD SMUT w/ MOSTLY FLUFF)

ATTENTION- THIS IS STRICKLY FICTIONAL (NOT REAL). I'M FULLY AWARE THAT HARRY HAS NOT CAME OUT AS BISEXUAL AND WANTS TO BE UNLABLED. I ENJOY BI HARRY FANFICS BUT THERE ARE NOT MANY OUT THERE SO I DECIDED TO WRITE ONE. ALSO THE TRAITS I WILL BE CONCIDERING AS BISEXUAL TRAITS ARE FULLY DEPENDENT ON THE INDIVIDUAL. I HATE STEREOTYPING. JUST KEEP IN MIND THAT JUST BECAUSE HARRY DOES THESE THINGS IN THIS STORY THAT IT DOESN'T MAKE SOMEONE BISEXUAL OR EVEN GAY. LASTLY I'D LIKE TO SAY THAT I'M NOT BISEXUAL MYSELF BUT THE IDEA OF BEING WITH A MAN WHO IS, IS A TURN ON. NOT IN A FETISH TYPE WAY. JUST THE VULNERABILITY AND OPENNESS OF ENJOYING EITHER WOMEN OR MEN IS INCREADIBE TO ME. THANK YOU AND I HOPE YOU ENJOY.

Harry told me early on into our relationship that he was bisexual. He was so nervous that I would leave him, but it just made me fall more in love with him. He told me late one night about 6 months into dating, on his couch. The second he told me, Harry broke down into real raw tears. The first time I'd seen Harry actually cry. Yeah I'd seen him cry during sappy movies but this was so much more than that. These tears had fear in them. Fear that I would leave him. They had vulnerability in them for being so open. But also a weight was lifted off his chest, just happy to tell me. I held Harry in my arms and cried with him, telling him how much I loved him and that this doesn't change anything. That I loved him just as much.

Only a few people in Harrys life knew he was bisexual. His close family. His close friends. That was it. If it got out in the media, the internet would have gone wild. Of course there were many rumors about his sexuality. Most of them being that he's gay. For the longest time he actually thought he might be gay. He had a lot of 'gay tendencies': painted nails, feminine clothes, pearl necklaces. But he also had very 'mainly tendencies' like watching football and drinking beer with the lads. Harry was just so conflicted all his life. Not knowing what he was. That's until the age of 18. One of his school friends came out as bisexual and that's when it clicked for him. He liked both male and females and he was okay with that. He excepted that part of him. He was more worried about what others would say or think. His family was very supportive. His friends were too. They never treated Harry differently knowing that they were straight and he was sexually attracted to them. Well not so much them specifically because they were more like brothers, but the male species as a whole.

Being in sexual relationships were on a new level of fear for Harry. Fear that when he was having sex with a guy, that the guy would try and convince him he's actually just gay. Or the fear that any women he had sex with would say he wasn't manly enough for them. Needless to say, Harry kept his sexuality a secret from most of his one night stands or short term relationships. He just didn't feel the need to tell them unless they asked specifically if he was bi or not.

Me and Harry meet at a local club in London a few years back. He was with his bandmates at the time. I was by myself because my boyfriend of 2 years just broke up with me. I was devastated and needed to escape reality. That meant drink until my body went numb. Unfortunately for me though, I wasn't that much of a drinker so my body rejected the alcohol pretty fast. I stumbled onto the London streets trying to get fresh air but ended up puking my guts out in a near by bin. Harry just so happened to be outside at that moment and saw the whole thing before his eyes. He rushed over to me and pulled my hair back to prevent more vomit from getting in it. Then he asked if I was alright and who I was with. I told him I came there alone so he insisted I come back to his place. Because my brain was fuzzy from the alcohol, I didn't hesitate one bit. Harry set up his guest room for me and helped me to bed that night. Something I'm forever grateful for. If it wasn't for him, I could've been kidnapped and raped by a stranger on the streets. When I woke up the next day, I realized who's house I was in. All of the music awards on the shelf in the room I stayed in gave it away. I was never a big fan of One Direction, no reason in particular, so I didn't act like a fangirl would have. Before I left his house, he gave me his number to call if I ever needed someone to talk to. Considering he was an international popstar and all, he sure was the most genuine person I'd ever meet. Taking care of a complete stranger and even giving them his phone number. I never thought I'd actually call him though. Or even see him again, but about a week later, I ran into him at a local coffee shop and we started talking form there. The rest was history.

We hung out all the time. He invited me to a few One Direction concerts. Even had sex a few times. Amazing sex I might add. It truly was great. Even though at the time, I had to remain secret from the public. More so said by Harry then his management. Mainly to keep me safe and out of the media knowing how private I liked to be. Three months of seeing each other and he asked me to be his girlfriend. I was thrilled. Then six months into our relationship, Harry realized how serious our relationship was becoming. That we both had strong feeling for each other. So that's when Harry decided to tell me he was bisexual. On his couch. Late one night. He wanted to get it out of the way so he didn't have to hide that part of himself with me. So he could be himself around me. If I excepted him that was and of course I did.

Approximately two years after dating, Harry purposed. He was basically shitting bricks the whole time, but he did it. I didn't hesitate one second before I said yes. We were in love. At this point, the media had found me and Harry out. Most of his fans adored me. Some said our relationship was fake. And others just flat out said I was keeping Harry closeted, not allowing him to be gay. But I knew the truth. I knew he was bisexual, not gay. I never doubted his sexuality one bit. Especially how he devoured my body when we made love. Any gay person would probably gag at the sight of a women's pussy. Not Harry. It was his favorite part of my body. A year after Harry filmed the movie Dunkirk (2017), we got married. It was a small wedding. Just close family and friends invited. It was perfect.

Now here we are in the current year of 2021 and we're still going strong. A few fights here and there, but because both Harry and I have too big of hearts, we always feel bad after fighting and immediately apologize to one another. The media had tried to split us up multiple times but it's never been successful. Our love for each other is too strong and everlasting.

Just because Harry is in a happy, loving heterosexual relationship, doesn't mean he feels completely secure about his sexuality all the time. In the beginning of our relationship, Harry tried to completely throw away any 'bisexual' tendencies he had even though he knew I supported him. For instance, there was many times Harry wanted to paint his nails but didn't. Or would refrain from gushing over sexy guys in movies we watched together. That's when I noticed he was becoming depressed. He stopped writing music. He would disengage in activities we tried to do together. Even pushed me away when I tried to have sex with him. I felt hopeless. Until one morning I asked him what was wrong, and he spilled everything. How he tries so hard to suppress the bisexual side of his character for me. For our relationship. Harry explained that he had the desire to paint his nails vibrant colors and wanted to wear feminine clothes sometimes. Something that was particularly hard for Harry to confess to me was how he even wanted to try anal. On me or me with a strap on fucking him. Right away I made us an appointment to get our nails done at a salon. Then I told him he could wear a trash bag and he'd still be the most beautiful mainly man I'd ever seen. Lastly, I grabbed my laptop and went online shopping for female strap ons, letting Harry pick the girth and size he wanted. Yes I was a little nervous to actually fuck him, but he assured me he would help me out every step of the way. As for anal on me, I mentioned how I would be nervous but how I also trusted him. Trusted him enough to penetrate me anally. That I knew he would be extra careful with me.

Needless to say, I made Harry more confident. Confident in his sexuality. I got him to come out as bisexual to the public. I let him explore his bisexuality in the bedroom. Though of course he still worshiped my pussy. We had weekly appointments to get our nails painted. Harry even wore a dress out to a date night one night. He was super scared and on edge the whole night but I kept whispering in his ear how I couldn't wait to rip that dress off of him and fuck him in the ass until he cried out of pleasure.

I honestly loved that Harry was bisexual. It was almost like a turn on for me. He was both a gym buff and my little princess. He had thick arm muscles and toned abs, as well as pink nails and pearl necklaces. Anytime he mentioned how hot a guy on tv was, we could gush over him together. Or how sensitive and vulnerable he was at times. A lot of guys hold in their emotions, thinking men can't express their feelings, but not Harry. If he felt the need to cry, he would. Right in front of me. It could be triggered by a sad movie or a animal abuse commercial. Also, on the rare occasions he asks for it, I would fuck him with the strap on in his mouth. Though a rubber penis didn't quite taste like the real thing, salty mixed with sweat, he loved to deepthroat it anyways. Watching him choke and gag around the fake penis made my pussy drip. We even bought a strap on dildo that had a vibrator on the back side of it. That way every time the fake cock would enter his mouth, the vibrator would stimulate me clit, giving me pleasure as well.

No matter how much the media tried to convince Harry he was in fact gay and didn't actually like women, he would ignore the rude comments and prove to me everyday that he in fact loved me. Me as a women. Loved my smile. Loved me eyes. Loved the way my boobs bounced while having sex. Often grabbing them in his hands and stimulating my nipples. Loved the way my tight pussy felt around his dick. Or the way my sweet juices tasted on his tongue when he ate me out. Yes he loved dick. Yes he loved balls. Yes he loved being railed to death from behind. But he also liked vagina and he loved boobs. Harry wanted to make love to me and get me pregnant. Watch my stomach grow. Be there to hold my hand when I deliver the baby. Help change diapers at 3 am when I'm to tired to do so. Teach our kids to love and respect everyone and be themselves. Be open to our kids about his sexuality. Give them knowledge on bisexuality and educate them on the matter. Instead of assuming they are straight by asking his future son if he has a girlfriend yet or asking his daughter if she has a boyfriend, Harry will ask if the have a partner or fancy anyone in particular. Love his children for who they are or who they want to become. Be a role model for them. And live happily ever after with me, his supportive wife, by his side.

MASTERLIST

#bisexual #lgbtq #lgbtq+#bi #biharry #biharrystyles #bifanfiction #smut #fluff #love #married #harrystyles #harry #onedirection #1D #1d #husband #wife

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quirkysubject · 3 years

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IIRC you said that Roger was a good POV to use in FtD bc you didn't know that much about him. In the last couple years you must have learned a lot about him and Freddie and I was wondering, looking back, what do you think you got totally right and what you think you got wrong in terms of characterization in FtD? Ahah sorry for the weird question but I just realized how differently I write Froger compared to 2 years ago and was wondering if you went through the same XD I loved your FMW fic btw!

Hmmm, that's an interesting question, thank you! ❤️

There have definitely been a ton of factual/timeline mistakes I have learned about since - only last night it turned out Brian's big reconciliation with his dad at Madison Square Garden didn't happen in early 1977 as I described it, but in late 1978...

Characterisation-wise though... I don't know, it's difficult to say. One thing that makes it hard for me to answer this, if I'm honest, is that I have received so many rude and entitled comments about my characterisation and how I should have written that story that I'm kind of wary of getting into that discussion at all.

But also, the story works as a whole (for me at least), and the characterisation, the real events I used, the character arcs, the story-lines, the cultural context etc., they all tie into each other. Getting as close as possibly to what I think these people were really like wasn't the point of the story - otherwise I wouldn't have written an AU. I wanted to write something based on those people, and something that would be psychologically plausible, but in the end, there are many other aspects of storytelling that influence characterisation.

Just as an example, FtD-Freddie in 1986 is a lot more grounded and less vulnerable than he probably was at that time in RL. But I wouldn't ever change that, because his life in the story has also changed so much at this point. There is no death-sentence on his head. He has been in a somewhat stable relationship for (depending on how you count) about three years. His entire time in Munich was different because he was already with Roger.

In addition, the entire characterisation of Freddie is filtered through Roger's narration. So there are definitely points in the story where I think that Roger gets him wrong - but that's part of having an unreliable narrator, and part of writing from a single tight third-person POV.

In RPF, we always write characters, never the actual person. No matter how gritty, realistic and canon-compliant we are (or think we are), the moment we write a fictional story, we're dealing with characters. And in order to be able to do that, we have to pick and choose which aspects we highlight. Of course, I'd agree that some depictions get closer to the 'real thing' than others - but that judgment again is partly subjective. It also doesn't have to be the sole or main goal of writing a story.

So, in my view, talking about getting characterisation right or wrong is kind of asking the wrong question? Or, you can ask it, of course, but it's not the way I look at fanfic. For me, it's impossible to discuss characterisation outside of the context of the story. What genre is it? Who is the narrator? What is the aim of the story? Which period does it focus on? How well does the charactersation work in that context? Is that a characterisation I find interesting and gripping? Does it have to tell me something?

Of course my way of writing Froger is different in my three "big" love stories (FtD, For the Day I Take Your Hand, On the side of a hill...) - they're set at different times, with characters at different stages in their lives. The stories are also tonally different and have different POV-characters. But I wouldn't say that anything fundamental has shifted in my way of writing Froger (although I know that some people think it has! And their view on the matter is as good as mine). I'm just using different prisms on it, so to speak.

~~~

TL;DR: Nothing! 😄

Now I'm interested though: How did your writing of Froger change over the years?

#my writing #long post #ask response #rambling

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sunshinexlollipops · 3 years

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I'm NGL...I'm interested in your Twilight rambles. Especially since you weren't sober while watching the saga...honestly the only way you can watch it.

hello, anon.

ironically enough, you're one of a few others who have asked me for my twilight takes. I've ruminated on my takeaways for a good bit, and I've decided this is how I'm gonna go about my thoughts.

so firstly, this is gonna be a long post (hence the "read more" option). I wanna hit it all in one post that I can condense so that I'm not flooding everyone's dashes for this little venture, lol. so for anyone not interested, this should be rather easy for you to pass on!

but for everyone else, here's the post!

so I decided to break this up in a few ways just to gather my thoughts and critiques up the best.

I'd also like to start with a few disclaimers just so we can get this show on the road:

these views are my own. you can still enjoy the saga in your own ways, even while being critical of it. (bc let's be real, there's some red flags lol.) you shouldn't feel like you're being canceled by me if you enjoy the media in whatever ways. this isn't meant to be taken to those levels.

I may mention the books a little, but it's been YEARS since I read them, so I am mostly critiquing the movies (but I will critique Stephanie as a writer/creator).

I understand twilight is fiction, but there are some real problems in the series that can affect people in real life, so reader discretion is advised, and TW's will be put before I bring up 2 topics in this post.

alrighty, so. I watched the twilight saga while on da 🍃 lmao. not all at once, but never done while sober. if you wanna know what I used in particular, I have a delta 8 tincture that's basically just an oil. very nice and legal, and is what made all of this possible. 110/10 recommend bc it made things bearable. 💛

but alas, we have a post to make! so here we go...

Pros

yes. twilight does have *some* pros to the saga. you may be amazed as to how this could be in some ways but credit is due where credit is due...

twilight (1st film) is the perfect kind of 2008 camp. I want it in a time capsule bc it's the epitome of that the mid-late 2000's were like and it honestly is comforting in some ways. while cliche and trite, I hold this particular film in a sentimental box and I offer some respect.

also deserves her own mention: the blue filter that gave the entire first film its look 💙

the soundtracks had NO BUSINESS being as good as they were. every single film had amazing soundtracks and the music was never improperly timed or used. if anything, they made scenes ✨iconic.✨ looking at you super massive black hole...

Charlie (self-explanatory)

the one particular scene in New Moon in which Jacob fights one of his pack members after Bella (dumbly) slaps him. they go to fight and tumble in their throes towards the woods, knocking the "camera" down as they go. not sure why they decided to do that, but tbh the shot was pretty cool so I'll give it to em.

Michael Sheen being horny for everyone the entire time

me being horny for Lee Pace the entire time

Emmet was turned in Gatlinburg, TN and that place was my childhood so I will give them a point for it (also because I died over the fact that he was mauled by a bear Lmaooooo)

the places where the films are filmed and the sets that were made were always on point in terms of aesthetic

while absolutely horrendous in design and a undeniable failure since it was cut from the films, the animatronic "Chuckésmee" doll lives in my mind rent free as her silicone melts in Washington

the Cullen's house is where I wanna love eventually in terms of aesthetic.

Robert Pattinson

it taught me what red flags are in men 💛

alrighty, so with our pros out of the way...

here they are...

Cons

obviously, this list is gonna be WAYYY longer, but also, is only gonna touch on my general displeasures. I am gonna be getting very specific when it comes to the characters and what happened with them in the series, later.

the Cullen's coveted secret was found out by a horny teenager girl and google

the same formula was used for Jacob's tribe secret

the fact that the Native Americans were used for the werewolf plotline but no actual culture or substance is given to them otherwise

(also would've been nice if Steph had reached out to the actual Quileute tribe she used for her book to ask them how they could be represented and if making them werewolves was insensitive or not, just sayin.)

the main character driving a nice Volvo is not hot asf. idc if this book was written in '05, we had WAY better cars to feel impressed by. cause it was almost as bad as putting Edward in a fecken Nissan Altima.

"say it, out loud......."

"...............suburbanite."

how Edward went from "omfg I gotta drink dis bitch like hose water" to "no thanks, I believe in the lord" when it came to Bella's blood... how did he get over it so fucking quick?????

while Carlisle is a likeable enough character and one of the better vampires, his way of only turning dying people questionable when he's a doc. I mean this in the sense of what makes someone eligible to him to give the bite. it makes you wonder how many people he has had die on him over the years that just... weren't worth it. and if it's over a "he didn't want to create a new vampire and causes waves" he legit let Bella into the fold so easily. so what's held him back?

also Carlisle.... why ya whole family white? WAIT. ONE WAS A CONFEDERATE SOLDIER TOO HOLD UP—

it's very sad that we didn't really see many other outer cultures or races of vampires beside white vamps (before Breaking Dawn). sure there was Laurent, but he was so brief and died as early on as NM. I hate how his character was wasted bc he was interesting asf.

not James looking like he's straight to hunting after getting that Abercrombie & Fitch fit 😶

every POC vampire pulled into the "save Renesmée" plot, aside from the Egyptian clan, look as though they were based solely off of racist Halloween costumes and ignorance. they're depicted as being entirely removed from and obtuse to modernized society, which is unusual considering they feed of humans and would have exposure to it. it's also sad to see them all shown as nearly feral-vampires that just live in the wilds, while these other ancient white vamps get mansions and luxury cars. the POC vamps can still retain culture and traditionalism without making them out like the caveman in old Geico commercials.

the overall story took place in about 2 years and some change. not sorry, but that is NOT enough time to allow Bella to chose anything. especially with how she literally was trying to screw another guy for like, more than half that time.

Stephanie Meyer can't write women to be friends. she very much so has a women vs. women mentality. (I'll explain in greater detail w some of the characters.)

everyone just accepts whatever outlandish story Edward and his family comes up with when Bella disappears and gets severely injured. like ah, it's okay, everyone runs off to Italy or falls down some stairs and through a window at some point! 🤷‍♀️

extra con SPECIFICALLY bc they blame her being clumsy and everyone is like YA YOU DO BUMP INTO THINGS, BELLA 😅

making Bella immediately perfect when she becomes a vampire.

extra con because she also apparently has impeccable control over her thirst, and is still allowed to see her father/mom after being changed. she should've had the repercussion and never seeing them again while they're alive bc of being a newborn w no control

bc of this too it gives and extra-extra read all about it con bc all of the arguments made against turning Bella into a vampire were pointless in the sense that Bella is apparently a magical vampire savant. and that's on being a gatekeeping girlboss 😳

every motherfucker here is toxic ASF. I'm team no-one. all y'all need therapy and jail

especially YOU

also you in terms of therapy plz ma'am 🥺

where is Bella's truck—

a specific con for when Bella went to the wildflower field *in winter* during NM and goes into a mental spiral bc the flowers are dead like BOO IT'S CALLED SEASONS WTF

"it's uh...the florescents..."

alrighty, but let's get to the actual grit of the story... the characters.

I have some specific beef w some of these people, so buckle up.

Characters

Renée

Renée was not ready or suited to be a mom.

I say this specifically because, while being youthful isn't wrong per se, Renée has a very toxic version of "I'll grow up when I feel like it."

this woman pretty much uproots Bella's life entirely when she decides to go into travelling for her husband's baseball career. note how Renée is never really given an occupation of her own, and so instead of using her availability to contort to Bella's needs (school, transportation, etc), she decides to try and become a trophy wife to a up-and-coming baseball player instead.

genuinely, if Charlie hadn't been able to take Bella, I'm not sure what would've happened. maybe Bella would've been put into some residency school, or she would've been given to another relative... but the entire reason "twilight" even happened was because of Renée dumping her daughter on her ex-husband's doorstep to chase after her own fulfillment and happiness.

while she calls in on Bella, she treats her daughter's life like gossip. she has more scenes being in Bella's business about Edward than anything else. otherwise, her mom is pretty much just wrapped up in her life with her new husband, and she only comes to visit Bella when she's hospitalized in Twilight, and when she married Edward. otherwise she only calls.

while I don't care about it in a prude's way, they even went as far as having Renée notably wear a thong when Bella and Edward come to visit her in BD1. you could say this was the actress's choice, but it's very noticable and distinct to the point of being noticeable during production, so I'm gonna count it towards her character since it was blatantly left in.

especially since this is supposed to be the last time she sees her mom as a human, and you get to see Renée's red number above her jeans?

it just ruins any sentimental value the scene could've had. especially when you know that Edward could see this through the window of the other room. ffs.

but that's kind of the vibe Renée gives. like a girl who peaked in high school and just can't realize she isn't the only one in the room anymore.

she's the reason moms sell their kids to one direction for caprisuns on Wattpad.

Leah

this isn't to critique Leah as a character, but rather how she was portrayed and wasted by Stephanie and the directors.

firstly, in the movies there is NO mention about how Leah is the only female werewolf ever heard of. seriously! it's in the books, and even in the novels, Leah's stance as what seems like an impossible outlier is never truly addressed or realized. it's as though she's the human personification of the world's largest rubber band ball, with how she's written off.

I would've loved to see MORE on why Leah came to be. was there a reason why it didn't matter for her, or just happenstance? why is it ONLY males that become wolves? does that mean other women can become wolves, or will it only ever be Leah?

these questions were never asked by Steph, and so we won't ever get answers. just a waste of something special, honestly.

but secondly, more than anything... I intentioned before that Steph has a problem with women being friends. Leah is one good example to that.

while werewolves are supposedly driven by the anger (*sigh*), Leah is very unwelcoming and cold to Bella for NO reason. if anything, it's portrayed as a jealousy-driven rejection, and I hate how girls are created specifically to go after Bella for supposedly getting on their "terf" of boys.

this also extends to Leah's bitterness over Sam leaving her for his mate. while I understand Steph may have needed an example of "your mate can be anyone, doesn't matter who you love if they're not you're mate," but she specifically hurt Leah in this way and ONLY defines her through her bitter and loneliness. she doesn't even get any other notable dialogues apart from her talking about being heartbroken and betrayed by Sam.

additionally, her father died for pretty much no reason, and ofc it was while he was trying to keep Bella safe from Victoria in NM. it's just needless pain, bro. (also it hurt Charlie, so I'm anger.)

I'm still so disappointed with how Leah's story was treated. she could've been a gem.

Rosalie

like Leah, a lot of my complaints with Rosalie are more so of what she was put through and then how she was used in the story, but there is a little more critique to her character in a specific way.

by this, I mean that Rosalie... doesn't make sense.

heads up— TW!

so, as we know, Rosalie's cause of turning was a horrific SA that would've killed her had she not been bitten. she was r*ped and attacked by multiple men, multiple times.

she understandably holds resentment and hatred in her heart over the events, especially at how she blames them for costing her the goals she can no longer achieve because she became a vampire (honestly idk why she doesn't resent Carlisle for biting her...).

specifically her goals were to grow old with her husband, but also, to have kids, which expresses itself as a problem later on... overall, her story was heartbreaking.

I don't have an issue with giving a character trauma such as this, however, there is a key thing to note.

when giving characters trauma, you have to be realistic and respectful with these events. they are not just plot devices or characterizations. they are not superficial issues you can pick up when convenient and drop when they no longer are.

I am LIVID with how Rosalie's story was used in the saga.

she is portrayed as this jealous, hateful bitch to Bella. in fact, it's a running joke that Rosalie is just a bitch, and there's even a deleted scene in which Jacob throws a dog bowl at her from Breaking Dawn. she is very much so framed into a light of "she's a c*nt.*

she's also actively framed into being Bella's biggest hurdle with the Cullen family, and her desire to become a vampiric member of their clan. she is the only person to say no when they hold a vote over turning Bella in New Moon, and states: "I wish I had someone to say no for me."

Rosalie was also given dialogue in which she refused to or questioned helping Bella when she was being hunted by other vampires. this definitely ties into Steph's "wen can't be friends" mentality, but there's another reason as to why I bring this up...

as I mentioned, Rosalie has her tragic past, and it is revealed to us when Rosalie believes she needs to convince Bella she is making the wrong choice, and that she needs to preserve her humanity and to choose her well-being over what seems to be a momentary desire.

I fully understand why Rosalie would want to say that, but her trauma was given to her specifically as a guilt/manipulation tool by Steph. there is no healing for Rosalie. there's no growth. there's no trace of it outside their conversation. that's one reason it's so enraging: what Rosalie went through only mattered when she was trying to stop Bella.

it just made the tragedy of how she became a vampire practically null and void, in terms of relavance.

also, her concern for Bella also became null and void come Breaking Dawn.

it became very backwards of her when she was informed of Bella's pregnancy. notice how Rosalie is the ONLY ONE in the house who was accepting and encouraging of Bella's pregnancy. not even ALICE was about it, and Carlisle made it clear Bella was dying.

Rosalie only fought for Bella when Bella was pregnant. this was so that Rosalie could vicariously love her fantasy of motherhood through Bella.

so you mean to tell me that she wants Bella to preserve her humanity and to also realize she's giving so much up that she can never get back... and that Rosalie also went through a horribly traumatic event that changed her life forever (literally) and made her hate Bella through jealousy... but she doesn't quite care as long as Bella pops that baby out before she croaks?

it's ugly, it's demeaning, and it's just downright sad. Rosalie could've been a lot different had she been given the room to address and cope with her trauma properly, and she wasn't turned pro-life only when it suited her...

additionally, she gets another negative from me because she told Edward about Alice's cliff jump vision concerning Bella, despite knowing no information over it. that was idiotic on her part, because she had no idea what Alice found and she should've just left it to lie until Alice could confirm what happened. so, like someone else I'm gonna mention on this list, she's part of why the Volturi demand Bella be changed. so yes... sorry Rosie, ya kinda fucked up on your own mission.

also I feel like she would've voted for Trump, oops.

Jasper

he was a Confederate soldier.

Edward

this... this boy.

listen, I honestly like Edward in some ways. I don't mean he's my fave. this boy needs work. but out of all of them, Edward is admittedly the best. but don't think that's also a feat. the bar is very low here.

firstly, I would say my biggest issue with Edward is just... this boy needs antidepressants. lord. eat someone with a Zoloft prescription, idk.

Edward is stuck in this weird state of "I wanna die, but this girl makes my dick too hard for me to." fr. this guy hates his life and yet he wants to live forever with Bella at the same time? I don't get it.

also, boundaries. this man doesn't have them. he doesn't know what they are. which makes sense because he was dying of the Spanish flu and I KNOW this boy didn't social distance or wash his hands... time period doesn't matter, I just know he was nasty and probably didn't wash his ass cheeks ever...

I don't understand how he can simultaneously be like "I wanna bite Bella" to "I gotta watch this bitch sleep" and "I'm gonna sit h her after I break up with her in the woods." it's like he's so obsessed with Bella one moment, and then he hates her the next. one moment he's watching her sleep and disabling her truck so she can't see Jacob, and the next he's killing himself in Italy... men.

that all being said, apart from his juxtaposing outlook on his existence, I just don't really find Edward personally interesting. everything that you could say about Edward being interesting or desirable is literally down to his vampirism. beauty, wealth, mind-reading, appeal, power, abilities, etc.

without being a vampire, Edward has no substance to him aside from being depressed and into celibacy. my man's was literally abstinent WHILE IMMORTAL BRO. no-nut-for-ever challenge guys?

still, that being said, I wish Edward would've fought against his instincts and left Bella alone. he literally changed this girl's life for FOREVER over knowing her for about 2 years or so.

she was 16-17 when she met Edward. she was a kid, for one, but she isn't emotionally capable of thinking things like this through. you're gonna be impulsive and selfish at that age, bc you can't quite wrap your head around things such as this.

if Edward showed more control and concern for Bella (aside from just making sure she wasn't hurt/dead), and he actually stuck to his guns about not turning or marrying Bella, I would root for him more. but he can't control himself, and in turn, caused a LOT of problems.

still, he had more self-control than Bella or Jacob, so kudos bro. I mean, he legit let them kiss in front of him, EVEN WHEN HE WAS ENGAGED TO BELLA. and he never held any true resentment to Jacob trying to steal his girl, aside from when he kisses Bella without her consent.

he did always let Bella know he didn't have to be her choice, I'll give him that, too.

but more than anything we're so lucky Rob played him...

Jacob

this little bastard.

I heavily dislike Jacob. no, I'm not team Edward. no, it's not because I prefer vampires. (I prefer werewolves but I am a monster-f*cker at heart, so it's like going to Kroger and shopping for me okay—)

I dislike Jacob because of very specific reasons. and overall, Jacob is a horrible character.

I'll first start w his flaws and then the flaws done to him as a character by Steph.

firstly, Jacob is toxic ASF. the only reason Bella and the audience liked Jacob was for the fact he's hot to them (and maybe some get off on the fact he's a werewolf). but take away his wolf form and 6 pack, and what are you really left with?

I would've loved to see Twilight Jacob continue through the series. he seemed sweet, humorous, and just down to earth and enjoyable. the first Jacob Black we see is the best Jacob Black, and unfortunately, he's nowhere to be found come New Moon.

I get that werewolves apparently have anger management issues, but does that really give Jacob the right to be the dick that he is? I say this because Jacob is unnecessarily aggressive, or just overall an asshole to even Bella when he doesn't get his way.

he's childish, immature, and is honestly the type of person who puts you in therapy because of what they do to you. and you may bring up that he's 16 come NM, but that's why losing how he was originally is that much worse. the first Jacob Black we see would probably hate what he's become in NM and then on. I mean, he threatens to Kermit if Bella doesn't get with him... that's low ASF.

one of my biggest pet peeves is how Jacob blames Edward for what happens to Bella, but in reality, it's his fault.

as I mentioned with Rosalie, in NM, when Alice comes to investigate her visions over Bella jumping off a cliff, when Edward rings the Swan residence, Jacob fucks up.

while Jacob wasn't lying about Charlie dealing with funeral arrangements (as our good boy Harry Clearwater died bc of Victoria giving him cardiac arrest), he refused to give Bella the phone when Edward called, meaning that Edward got the stark impression that Bella died.

because of this, the whole mess in Italy with the Volturi happens, and this is the main reason Bella is set to become a vampire (pregnancy aside). so Jacob can rage at Edward the Bloodsucker all he wants— his little asshole moment led to the Volturi know about Bella and set her fate then.

Jacob is just so pointlessly possessive over Bella, and also acts like her being with him is the only way she can stay human. which, is fucking absurd. Bella could date a rando guy who works at Subway and could still achieve the same goal. :/

still, he resents Bella burning turned into a vampire, and this 16yr old is trying so hard to convince this 18yr old that he has what she needs and he can give her the perfect life when he hasn't even graduated high school yet. fucking oof.

his posturing, attitude, and disrespect for Bella's choices are obvious. while I have my reservations about Bella, Jacob NEVER respected her choosing to be with Edward, and as a result, that she wanted to be a vampire too. it was personal to him, which is stupid, because it has nothing to do with him whatsoever. he can say there's a treaty all he wants, in the end, it isn't up to him.

he reacts far too impulsively and without sense, too. defying Sam and not even really trying to become an alpha despite it being implied by himself and others that he should do so? being in his feels and transforming into a wolf to cry about Bella, and nearly causing an accident where 2 humans see him? this boy dumb.

but more than anything... MORE THAN FUCKING ANYTHING—

you know what I'm about to say. you've read the books. you've seen the films. you know his biggest sin.

what is so bad it's worth another TW.

this man...

A CHILD.

A NEWBORN.

there isn't an English language that can properly describe the immense, negative emotion I've always felt for this fucking guy wanting to bang a fucking baby!

thing is, I think I know why it happened, and I'm not sure if it makes the whole thing worse or not.

so, my guess for this horrific pairing to have happened goes to a few key things:

despite teasing Jacob as competition to Edward, we all knew Bella was never going to choose him— this is why Bella isn't his mate to begin with. and so, Steph had to come up with someone "worthy" of being Jacob's love interest/mate.

Steph needed a good enough reason for the wolf pack not to kill Renesmée.

notice how the "we can't kill a wolf's mate" law ONLY becomes a thing once Jacob has imprinted on the infant and the pack comes to kill her. not even when Leah was out through the ringer over Sam was it mentioned that wolves cannot kill another's mate.

but what pisses me off most?

why is it that not killing another wolf's mate is their FIRST law, and per the film itself: means it's the most important law they cannot break?

kinda funny that ya say that, because when has a wolf's mate ever been something the pack has wanted to kill before now? that's so oddly specific...

because you would think a first and most unbreakable rule would be something akin to "don't let humans know about us," or "you cannot kill anything other than a vampire that kills humans." 🤔

this was obviously all a rouse to give Renesmée protection from the wolf pack that wants her dead, while also conveniently giving a "reason" for Bella's attraction to Jacob.

that's dumb for one main reason: Jacob getting with Bella would have prevented Renesmée from being born.

additionally, by that logic... he would've been attracted to his first kid with Bella. 😬

so yeah, I call bullshit.

so this disgusting shit happened for a plot hole Steph didn't know how to fix otherwise. and quite frankly, I wish she just would've left it open.

also, as for Jacob, there really is nothing more to him. his biggest impact was to make Bella an even hotter piece of meat on the market, and to give Steph a reason to not let the werewolves kill Bella and Edward's monster baby.

please get him into dog training as soon as possible. 💛

Bella

ah. Bella.

this... this is what I've been waiting for the most. THIS BITCH.

while part of her fault is really just poor writing, I genuinely don't like Bella as a character, and quite frankly, she deserves the worst our of everyone in the films. lemme explain.

while Renée isn't her fault, Bella is the worst person out of all the characters.

not only is she a poorly fledged out character, she makes me want to ram my head into a wall with our disastrous this girl is.

but first, I'mma tell you where Steph fucked up with her character design:

being clumsy isn't a personality

being clumsy isn't the only trait a character can have

being clumsy isn't something you can use to write off her being turned into a lunchable in a ballet studio or whatever else happens to this bitch

the only thing I like about Bella is her truck, really

who dressed her and why did they decide only to give her tasteful clothes once she became a vampire? like this bitch went from Plato's closet to Gucci, my guy 😑

being from Arizona is not a personality trait

saying she hates "any wet, slimy thing" and the weather of forks isn't cute when you say she loves the sun so much bc she would either burn to a crisp or would somehow accidentally eat sunscreen bc she's clumsy 🤪

she is perfect immediately after the bite and Steph was really like "she was made to be a vampire bc now she isn't clumsy and look she perfect" I think not bestie

what were her aspirations? her hobbies? what did she like to do aside from think about Edward or run after boys? what about her isn't just loving Edward and running after boys??? who IS SHE!?

a small potted cactus is not a personality trait

that cactus probably died, fuck

this was low-key Steph's personalized self-insert story and I'm scared

if Kristen Stewart didn't play Bella, what would she even have to offer to anyone?

she was made into an underage high schooler for this love story akxnakxnjsnd

how did she pass high school during all this ON GOD

it is impossible for other women to like her unless they aren't competition (her mom, Esmé, Alice, Angela. that's literally it.)

designed to be the boy toy but really WHAT IS SO SPECIAL ABOUT HER!?

so aside from stark design flaws that get us on a bad foot...

I want to address how Bella acts.

I personally HATE how Bella acts. minus the less than stellar acting (I do understand that Kristen was given poor instructions for Bella), how Bella goes about her life and its situations is enough for me to rip my hair out.

I understand she's 16 when we first see her but oh my god? Bella is just a melting pot of issues.

obtuse yet fucking on point. she doesn't know what Jacob is at first but then BANG BOOM EPIPHANY SHE FIGURES IT OUT THROUGH INTERPRETIVE MENTAL DANCE AND GOOGLE. she will go "what" one second and then knows what skeleton is in your closet the next.

pretends to be selfless but is entirely selfish. I cannot think of one thing Bella does, even for other people, that isn't personally motivated. seriously. having Renesmée despite it killing her and making Edward upset? it's because she wanted their baby no matter what. she hangs out with Jacob and gets really close to him? it's all because he offers a distraction from Edward. it all boils down to what she wants.

she doesn't give a shit about her friends. while some are less than stellar, her high school friends from Forks are legit ornaments in her life. they are honestly not close at all, and there's not enough scenes in the movie to show a good bind between Bella and her friends. in fact, EVERY SCENE with her friends is infiltrated by Edward or Jacob in some fucking way.

in particular, I wanna mention 2 specific moments this happened: 1) Bella invites herself to dress shop with Jessica and Angela, but only does so to get the opportunity to ditch them and go to the library to get a book she thinks will give her answers about Edward. 2) when Mike asks Bella out on a date in NM, Bella accepts and then PURPOSEFULLY invites everyone else and Jacob to it. despite them cancelling (with Angela and Eric dealing with a stomach bug and then Jessica just not even bothering to show up), Mike tries to stick the movie out with Bella despite Jacob being a dick to him. then, Mike gets horrifically sick at some point during the film, and disappears to thr*w up. it's not easy to say how long he was gone, but going by the audio, the movie had started, so I'm guessing this happened maybe halfway through or so. this means Mike was thr*wing up in the bathroom for 30min or more and BELLA NEVER CHECKED ON HIM. she stayed and watched the movie with Jacob and then just has a whole scene with Jacob about how she's broken and she can't be the same after Edward, boohoo. poor Mike shows up sick as hell and when Jacob SNAPS on him (yes, wolf incoming I know), Bella only really shows concern for Jacob during that moment. so yeah, fuck you, Mike!

Bella didn't care about Charlie. as much as she pretends to be concerned about her dad, Bella constantly destroyed and hurt her father by her actions. I get some of it was purposeful to get her dad away from her, but I agree with Edward in the fact that she didn't have to go that far to leave. she harmed her dad for no fucking reason, all the time. all Charlie ever did was TRY for Bella. he got her a car, he asks her how she's doing, asks her if she wants to spend more time with him, asks her what he can do to fix things... I HATE how Bella treated Charlie. and she goes off and hurts him more when she's pregnant with Renesmée and after she's bitten. I'm happy, for Charlie, that Bella was able to control her thirst as she was, but I've mentioned this was too much, and shouldn't have been a thing. everyone said it was going to be. and if Bella wasn't just magically amazing at being a vamp, then Charlie NEVER would've seen her again. but hey, doesn't matter bc you're horny for vampirism and Edward, right?

as mentioned above, I hate how Bella has practically NO consequences for her actions. any of them. she doesn't really injure herself when being reckless in NM. her friends never cut her off for her behavior and pretty much just treating them like background noise all the time. the Volturi and Bella trying to one up them as a human when trying to protect Edward. Bella's pregnancy. Bella's vampirism. so much that should've gone wrong or should've had lasting problems for her, and nothing! NOTHING! fucking club penguin held me more accountable than Steph did this bitch!

her trying to get with Jacob. oh my god. OH MY GOD. I don't care about Renesmée having a connection— I already explained that Bella getting with Jacob would actively go against this as well as possibly making their first child Jacob's mate. like BRO. any hoot, my biggest beef is that this girl needs to make up her damn mind. and her reasons for even seeking after Jacob were so fucking selfish, too. she legit got this boy to fall so deeply in love with her just to be hot and cold when we know she ain't ever gonna choose him. Jacob was an emotional Aleve for Edward and nothing more. but to see her be so up in his shit was annoying and just made her less likeable. this isn't soft or hard taco shells, you cannot have both tf.

this deserves it's own notation: Bella kissing Jacob DESPITE Jacob just finding out she's engaged to Edward

the fact that Bella is so desperate for Edward to bite her bc at 17 she thinks she has to be bitten RIGHT NOW or she's gonna instantly turn 70 and has to deal with hip pains as Edward wrecks the badussy

ONCE AGAIN BELLA GOING TO THE WILDFLOWER CLEARING IN WINTER AND BEING UPSET THE FLOWERS ARE DEAD ITS FUCKING WINTER NOT YOUR EX—

either indirectly or purposefully puts herself in harm's way ALL THE FECKEN TIME like I need her in Nerf armor or something idfk anymore. she literally always on the verge of being killed.

but now, for the biggest sin of all...

as I mentioned before, I hate when a character's trauma is not respected, and Bella? well she done did the worst thing...

she used Rosalie's trauma and desires to get what she wanted.

notice how, when Bella finds out Edward is not happy about the pregnancy (well, she doesn't even know if she's even pregnant at this point, so that's kind of ridiculous), she immediately calls Rosalie.

this is because Bella knows she can manipulate Rosalie into protecting and siding with her on the pregnancy.

Rosalie confided in her about her desire for motherhood, and so Bella took great advantage of that in the end, and I can't fucking stand her for it.

the saddest part is, she's your main character. you don't want to have a main character that makes so little sense as well as them becoming a bad person when that isn't the intention whatsoever. Bella is intended to be likeable or relatable, but she fucking isn't.

she's acts like she's always trying to get her next fix by any means necessary. she is driven by greed and lust, fucking literally, to do everything as she does. it's like watching someone live out their darker fantasies and how Bella is pretty much insatiable despite getting everything she wants and more.

here's the synopsis of the twilight saga bro:

abandoned by mom, Bella starts highschool in a place that isn't warm sunny, ew! but it's okay guys immediately like her but she doesn't like them bc gross. but the one guy, Edward, is cute and mysterious, so she figures him out in like 10 minutes. nearly dies, twice, bc if a van and an H&M model. Edward has to drink her blood like she's a Gogurt tube and bc she's clumsy she can wake up in a hospital and all is well. she isn't afraid by her near death in fact she's even more obsessed w Edward and vampirism. by the end of twilight, she got Edward, but she wants him to change her. Edward is like not rn bitch you're still not legal. 😩

new moon: surprise, Edward still doesn't want to change Bella, and after Jasper nearly goes after her, he leaves Bella in an attempt to protect her. Edward is her everything so now she has nothing, and Bella entertains Jacob to try and fill the void. oh cool, he's a dog on the side, AND he can fix a bike. Jacob works pretty good alongside trying to harm herself so she can think of Edward giving a shit about her lol. But in the end, Jacob still isn't Edward, and she can't have Edward die because she loves him and needs him, and so Bella will leave Jacob and then save Edward like a girl in scuffed Converse. but when Edward is faced with consequences for his actions, she has to offer herself as a sacrifice bc Edward cannot die to where he leaves Bella! The Volturi like Bella because she has McAffee installed in her brain and her firewall makes her.immune to shit, so they're like dope, change the bitch eventually Edward. And ofc Bella loves this because this is what she has been asking for. Sorry I ran away again and hurt you charlie, oops. she tells Edward she gonna be plotting her bite day like Tolkien novel.

eclipse: bite day is planned but OH NO Bella is still human and white so she is gonna curdle in the next 20 seconds if Edward doesn't bite her! she has to apply pressure otherwise she's gonna apply for AARP!!! Bella has to figure out a way to tell Edward she gotta be a vamp now otherwise she can never be a vamp and that would be sad, rawr. XD Oh victoria is a thing and she's made a lil baby army aside from being recast during her time being MIA. it goes as well as you could think it does and really nothing else really happens aside from Bella begging Edward to bite her already while they posture over her like hormonal peacocks.

breaking dawn part 1: she's graduated which means wedding and bite day! holla. she has her Polly pocket wedding but is so ready to be a vamp!!! but first honeymoon and her birds being met by Edward's bees! what's that? she missed her period? HAS TO BE PREGNANT!!!! ROSALIE HONEY— end up being this parasitic type thing and like wowza she looks like a spirit Halloween prop, but it's okay because BABY and she needs it born. she tries to drink blood and her baby snaps her spine like a stale loaf of french bread. rip. Edward successfully gets the baby out of Bella like pulling treats out of a dog's mouth and then he bites her all over the place because Bella was cosplaying the crypt keeper, and now we wait for her to change... BOOM SHE IS A VAMP AS SHE WANTED.

breaking dawn part 2: Bella is a vamp and she is beautiful and no longer clumsy and HA SHE TOLD YA SHE IS GREAT but she also has a weird daughter and Jacob may call her Nessie, but he can protect her from the werewolf pack and THE FBI when they find out what he's doing!!! but wait, the vampire FBI has heard about the kid and now y'all gotta prove she's your daughter like proving to a college board that you didn't plagiarize. you even have to find another vampire human thing and present them your evidence after making us think half of you died 30 seconds ago. but it's okay it all ends well bc Alice is a baddie so now Bella can have her baby, her hubby, and a life that never ends with either of them! she will always be beautiful and rich and hot and important and sexy and skilled and bootylicious and THE END! 🤪

honestly wish Edward just woulda let the van keep going. would've spared me a lot of pain and typing. oof.

anyways, that it! hope y'all enjoyed. :)

#luffy posts #twilight #new Moon #eclipse #breaking dawn #twilight saga #twilight Renaissance #luffy rants #Bella swan #edward cullen #Jacob Black

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m4tsuk4ze · 3 years

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Naoyuta and why I can't stop thinking about it

Naoyuta ( Naoyuu / Yuunao ) is the ship between Naoya Kido and Yuta Matsukaze. Now this post will just be me ranting about Naoyuta and why people in the community should talk about it more.

[ Quick warning : I AM Yuta so I will be referring to myself in the first person during this whole post. Also, if you reply, please do not mention anything about Kosu/Yuu because I can literally explain how that's never going to happen and why I'm so uncomfortable about it ]

Part 1 : A Pair of Nerds

I ( Yuta ) am a surfer from Shōnan who was born and raised at my parent's surfing shop. Naoya is a surfer from Oita. Through dialogue, it's revealed that I've known Naoya longer than he's known me. Our first meeting was either at the cafe where he got Miruru merch from [ WAVE!! 4-koma ], where he met both me and Kosuke twice, but never had a proper conversation, we only told him that he can have our coasters and cards. Or at my surf shop, where Naoya came in to check out a necklace he saw [ Yuta Matsukaze - Analysis During Shop Duty ].

Our feelings towards each other are unknown, as the full relationship chart only says "?". Meanwhile, the character relationship charts have our opinions on each other. Though, from the mmm relationship chart, me and Naoya are shown to be confused with each other, "Miruru...?" "Megane character...?".

Part 2 : Next to each other.

As the 5th and 6th characters in the roster, me and Naoya are constantly paired together in promotional works and songs. Though, that's not as important as our actual relationship to each other.

We don't get to see much in the anime, though there have been a lot of interactions outside of it that shows that we're not as far apart as we seem.

From the [ WAVE!! 4-koma ], it's shown that me and Naoya has spent a couple of days together. In one comic, I was spending my whole day with him to figure out how he's so amazing at surfing. We ended up only watching anime, which made my notes fill up with data about Miruru. That databook was then given to Naoya. Something interesting is how the narrator said "There was no data collected, but the distance between their hearts did shorten."

On the game story [ Yuta Matsukaze - Analysis During Shop Duty ], I said a line that could be interpreted as falling in love or gaining interest, "At first, I was just supposed to guard the store. But before I knew it, I was..." In the same story, I also told Naoya that I've been watching him for over a year ( to which he called me a stalker, but that's fair i guess ), though it was Naoya telling me that he didn't mind me talking so much.

Naoya, meanwhile, doesn't give us much. He's said I was different on multiple occasions, on the character relationship charts ( which we will get to later ) and in the story [ Naoya Kido - The Secret of the Notebook ], where he said "…… Hinaoka-senshu is not ready yet. But Matsukaze-senshu is different." when it came to names for techniques. Naoya has also became really enthusiastic when I told him that I would probably move to Tokyo after high school [ WAVE!! 4-koma ]. We also got a close up shot of Naoya being worried for me during my heat with Fuke----

Also, a friend of mine theorised that the promotional SURFDAYS illustrations, the ways we're holding our surfboards are the way we'll hold our significant others...... So in terms of being next to each other,,,

Part 3 : Annoying?!

Now on to those character relationship charts.

On my relationship chart :

Y -> N : "He gets really excited when we're in Tokyo"

N -> Y : "I'd rather watch the latest Miruru episode than listen to your data."

On Naoya's relationship chart :

Y -> N : "His Miruru fan-ness gets annoying."

N -> Y : "He's a little different from the megane characters I know."

So yes, not that positive.... Though, despite me finding his love for Miruru a little annoying, it doesn't stop me from looking out for him. On the game event story [ Chocolate Securing Plan ], Nalu reveals that I've been telling him about Naoya. Nalu said that I told him not to touch the truth about Miruru, or basically, not to reality check him. This came up when Sho almost told Naoya about how fictional characters can't make real life chocolate.

Part 4 : Trivia and Hints

Me alerting Bill as to why Naoya isn't going to participate in the Forest Cup [ WAVE!! 4-koma ]

Me being the first to try and help Naoya after seeing him sad because the anime isn't going to stream in his city [ WAVE!! 4-koma ]

Me saying that I need Naoya in Shōnan after finding out how Naoya could actually make Kosuke take a break [ WAVE!! 4-koma ]

Me falling more into interest with Naoya after finding out how he is towards 2D and 3D girls [ Naoya Kido - 2D and 3D ]

Me itching to talk to him after seeing him at the beach [ Naoya Kido - The Secret of the Notebook ]

Me being the most worried when mine and Masaki's plan to give Naoya Miruru Dried Sweet Potatoes failed [ Naoya's Birthday Post 2020 ]

Naoya saying he doesn't mind that I talk a lot and that I'm just enthusiastic [ Yuta Matsukaze - Analysis During Store Duty ]

Naoya actually laughing and blushing at whatever the fuck I'm showing him [ WAVE!! Surfing Yappe!! Vol.2 DVD Cover ]

Part 5 : Yuta's Thoughts

Yeah so far it seems somewhat one-sided. I've shown a lot of interest towards Naoya in multiple different stories. Though there's much on him towards me. It's not something I mind though. In the stories, Naoya has shown to be kind towards me, though sometimes sarcastic and straightforward. He's a really interesting person and I'm glad that I could figure him out piece by piece. In the end, we still feel very far apart.

Yet, despite our distance and somewhat distaste for each other, we also have a lot of similarities. First of all, we're both described as nerds. But we also have shown to be the most perceptive out of the whole group, other similarities is that we can't seem to fucking shut up about our interests, and we also treasure our friends very much.

Part 6 : Final Thoughts

Anyways Naoyuta is a great ship, fuck you nerd x nerd is superior I don't want to hear anyone say shit about it. Also pink and green literally amazing, the colour palette is just spectacular, I cannot shut up about it.

This is dedicated to the first showing of Shonan the WAVE!! which will be streamed on the LOVE&ART official YouTube channel featuring both mine and Naoya's seiyuus, Yusuke Shirai and Shunichi Toki, on Friday 21st of May at 21:00 JST

Manifesting a Naoyuta drama but who knows.

Also WAVE!! Wonderful Party has a clip,,, It might be from a drama featuring the both of us or it could be something else. If it's the former then WHAT THE FUCK WHY DID I FUCKING MOAN AFTER NAOYA SAID SOMETHING ABOUT LAUNCHING SOMETHING [ CONTEXT PLEASE ]

Anyways have a great day, this was Yuta Matsukaze ranting about his own relationship and being gay as fuck so I hope you enjoyed reading it.

To leave off this post, I'll be sharing some art. And that's it, thank you for reading, goodbye for now!

- m4tsuk4ze || Yūta

Part 7 : Naoyuta so true

#wave surfing yappe #wave project #wave naminori boys #naminori boys #yuta matsukaze #matsukaze yuta #naoya kido #kido naoya #naoyuta #me in the gay

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fillorian-pocketwatch · 4 years

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The Makings and Fate of Quentin Coldwater: What Were the Writers Thinking?

Trigger warnings: Quentin Coldwater, seasons 4 and (briefly) 5, mentions of suicide/suicidal ideation, outdated ideas about the purity of women.

General warnings: Spoilers for the show and the books.

Buckle up, darlings, and my apologies in advance: this is a rough ride, and I don’t recommend reading it if you aren’t in the right headspace for it right now.

I hope that those who do read it might drop some LGBTQIA+ positive book/tv recommendations in the comments as a pick-me-up for others. I will add some myself if I can think of some good ones.

So as it turns out, I ran into something entirely by accident: the inspiration behind the character of Quentin Coldwater.

I knew that Eliot and his "will-they-or-won't-they" dynamic with Quentin in the Magicians books were both borrowed from Evelyn Waugh's Brideshead Revisited (Grossman has said so himself)--

but I didn't realize there was an actual preexisting character Grossman borrowed from for Q:

Quentin Compson, from The Sound and the Fury.

This explains so much for me. So much.

I ran across information about the character the other day while doing something completely unrelated (looking up some other book if I recall correctly), and when I saw the similarity of the two names and then learned about the first Quentin’s fate, I thought, could this be LG’s inspiration?

Further research revealed that yes, Lev has said as much in articles. And even if he hadn’t, the fact that he has written extensively *about* TSatF online makes it a relatively easy conclusion to draw.

While the two Quentins aren't actually much alike (at least on the surface; I haven't read TSatF yet, just in-depth summaries/analyses of it)--other than the fact that they are both mentally ill over-achiever college students, are preoccupied with the idea of another world (the world as they each wish it was), and constantly associated with symbolic clocks and watches--Quentin Compson's fate explains everything for me in terms of how to understand Quentin Coldwater's series-four fate.

Quentin Compson ultimately kills himself in the famous classic novel; he does so by drowning after jumping off the Anderson Memorial Bridge in Boston, Massachusetts. Today there is a plaque there to commemorate the character:

In the Faulkner novel, Quentin associates the smell of honeysuckle with his obsessions over his sister’s purity--an ideal he comes to feel let down by after she loses her virginity and then seems to lose herself further in the company of men he feels are unsuitable.

I can’t help but make a parallel with the “drowned garden” of season 4, episode 12.

Quentin makes the following speech in the drowned garden, and as far as I’m concerned, it’s the closest thing we get to a suicide note:

You know the worst part of getting exactly what you want? When it's not good enough. Then what do you do? If this can't make me happy, then what would? Fillory was supposed to mean something. I was supposed to mean something here. But it's all... it's just... it's random. It's so random that the only way to save my friends is to yell at a fucking plant! Honestly, fuck Fillory for being so disappointing. You know what, maybe I was better off just believing that it was fiction. The idea of Fillory is what saved my life! [laughs.] This promise... that... people like me... [weeping] People like me... Can somehow... Find an escape. There has gotta be some power in that. Shouldn't loving the idea of Fillory be enough?

But the idea of Fillory is not enough, in the end, because the idea of happiness is also not enough. And by the end of his time on the show, that’s all Quentin has: the trappings of happiness (or at least the ones available to him, the ones he thinks might get him there), without the actual emotion.

Maybe he realizes, in the drowned garden, that he is at the end of his rope. Maybe that is where he decides to give up.

That, in my opinion, is why he begins to seem so shut down: it isn’t uncommon for people to distance themselves emotionally as a precursor to suicide (hence Jason being accused of “refusing to act” toward the end of S4).

I think it’s also why he doesn’t stop to wait and see how Eliot is after Margo strikes the Monster with the axes: he has given up on the idea that the things he thinks will make him happy actually will, or that happiness is actually attainable for him in the first place.

Quentin Coldwater drowns not in the fading of honeysuckle; for him it’s peaches and plums. In any case, he is definitely in over his head, and the water that spills out of the mirrors after his death feels like an homage to that literal drowning of his predecessor.

The TM writers found ways, as the show progressed, to tie the books back in to the show; the way they did it, however, was often roundabout to say the least. Their takes on how different plot points should occur, or be interpreted from book to screen, were usually close to abstract. They did do it, in many ways, but theirs was far from a faithful adaptation.

It fits, therefore, that they would tie The Sound and the Fury into S4 the way that it appears they did.

It also tells me something about how blame for their decision can be distributed, because either the showrunners:

a.) really did their research re: Compson and put together that this was the character that inspired Lev

or, as is much more likely, they:

b.) discussed it all with Lev himself--or LG was the one to broach the subject to see what sort of take they could spin.

Whatever the lead-in to the decision, I think three things combined to give them the idea for Q’s fate:

1. Quentin Compson;

2. Alice’s description, in the third book, of watching an old god kill herself to make way for a new world (which was when Umber and Ember emerged);

3. The following lines from The Magician’s Land: “The truly sad thing was that Ember actually wanted to do it. Quentin saw that too: He had come here intending to drown Himself, the way the god before Him had, but He couldn’t quite manage it. He was brave enough to want to, but not brave enough to do it. He was trying to find the courage, longing for the courage to come to Him, but it wouldn’t, and while He waited for it, ashamed and alone and terrified, the whole cosmos was coming crashing down around Him.

Quentin wondered if he would have been brave enough. He would never know. But if Ember couldn’t sacrifice himself, Quentin would have to do it for Him.”

So, it appears, the group of writers (LG included, however actively) apparently decided to take Quentin’s thought from book three and put him in exactly that position: make the choice, or fail to make the choice.

But the need for him to make that choice was never horribly convincing. They were very mistaken if they thought it was. And no matter what, it was ultimately a horrible, damaging idea. It hurt the audience, and it killed the show. The only sacrifice that was made was made in the name of ego and “clever writing” that the writers thought was edgy and risky in some desirable way.

[Quote from vulture.com]

It's not so deep.

What they did, ultimately, was borrow from more than one outdated work, and use those as excuses to do the wrong things re: mental illness and LGBTQIA+ representation:

Evelyn Waugh’s characters fail, once again, to live their lives and desires freely and openly (What a waste to rehash the long-denied dynamic from Brideshead Revisited only to deny it again);

Quentin Compson’s legacy of suicide and hopelessness lives on (and this is made all the more offensive when you learn that Compson’s suicide was based largely on ideas of spoiled purity which were solely the burden of women to uphold).

They took what could have been made right and beautiful and instead used their story to perpetuate the same sad old traditions of queerbaiting and Burying the Gays.

Tragedy is not more profound than happiness (just ask Quentin Coldwater). I'd argue that to make something really beautiful, you need to mend what's broken.

The world is a broken place. It's easy to break things here.

The worst thing they did to Q, by far, was to use the beautiful concept of minor mending against him like it was the fuse on a stick of dynamite: the thing he’d spent his whole life seeking--his specific field, his special skill in the actual real world of magic--was what he used to kill himself. He killed himself by *fixing something.* We need no further evidence that Q had given up hope.

What a terrible message, and what a slap in the face to viewers who put their trust in this atrocious writing.

And they did nothing to redeem themselves after the fact, either. If anything, they made it even worse, somehow:

Eliot, by the end of the show, has even less than he started with.

Eliot, apparently, is us: left without Q, stripped of the comfort of a world we thought we knew. Utterly let down by the writers who had the power to make things different.

I hate to end this on such a terrible note. So let me just say that if you were let down by the show, and you miss Q, you’re far from alone! I see you, and I hear you, and I share your pain.

TM got it all wrong. But I have faith that others will get it right.

And no matter what, in the last book, Quentin lives, and has nothing but a whole world of possibility open up before him.

#The Magicians #Meta #Quentin Coldwater #The Sound and the Fury #the magicians season five #the magicians season four #the magicians books #Eliot Waugh #Brideshead Revisited #Evelyn Waugh #William Faulkner #Queliot #mental illness #lgbt representation #queerbaiting

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airtosted · 4 years

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Just out of curiosity because your art is one of the most popular in the bitty tag-- what is the appeal of an "Edgy"? I only ever see them being mean and hurting people, it seems like they're sort of abusive. You seem to like them so I thought I'd ask.

First of all, thank you for asking nicely. Honestly, I got this question before and the persons asking weren’t very nice during the conversation, so it’s refreshing to see there’s still some civil and mature people out there. So yeah, thank you~

Secondly, I like Edgy because I find his character very intriguing and complex. I’ve seen around people posting their opinions or commenting on other people’s posts saying how they strongly dislike the Edgy bitty before, going as far as saying that they should be killed or burned because they’re nothing but abusive trash that only bites. Looking at it from those people’s perspective it does seem like the Edgy bitty is abusive and mean and uncapable of learning to behave good or having some manners and nothing more than just some wild animal or something.

But the thing is, that’s not how I see them. I see a creature, a small few inches skeletal creature, that has his own thoughts and feelings and wants to be loved and accepted, kind of like humans in a way. Lot of people see Bitties(and I don’t mean just Edgy, but all the other types as well) as a less intelligent creature or a “pet” cause of their size and their need to depend on humans for survival. They see a pet who they want to order around or control. Or as something they can use to earn money thru entertainment. But I see there’s more depth to them than that. Looking at all the things the bitties are capable of you can see that they’re capable of understanding and sympathizing with humans. I see them as creatures who are smarter(I’d go as far to say even ‘more human’) than any animal/pet. When I see Bitties I honestly think of a very little person who I could befriend if they were real and not just fictional characters. It’s just some would be easier to get closer to/along with than others.

To make it easier to understand what I’m trying to say I’ll compare them to a cat; some cats are more friendly in nature and don’t mind you getting close to it and touching/petting it, no matter if you own i or not, while others are more prone to bite you or scratch you if you try to approach them or pet them, but not to be mean, but because they feel scared, trapped or don’t trust people anymore due to past bad experiences.The first kind of cat reminds me of baby Blues. The last makes me think of Edgys which I’ll talk more below since your ask was about them not bitties in general.

Now that I covered my basic opinion of bitties, let’s talk about Edgys. You say edgy is mean and you know what there’s some truth there, he can be mean sometimes. But when he does that stop and think why he’s saying that. Usually people’s first thought is that he’s not trained good and needs to have that kind of talk/behavior punished(or worse, beaten) out of him. He’ll say you’re stupid or that he’ll kill you, but IMO he’s not saying that just for the lolz or because he’s stupid and doesn’t know such behavior isn’t socially acceptable, no, he's saying it because he’s scared. He’s trying to act tough to push people away in fear of being hurt or killed. So he insults and threatens you because he knows people don’t like that and there’s a big chance you’ll give up on your attempts and walk away. Sure he could teleport away, but bitties can’t use a lot of magic because it tires them out. The more magic they use and more often tires them out faster. And if they don’t have anything to eat to fill up those reserves back they’ll be weak. And a weak bitty could potentially be a dead bitty, as how Edgy would probably see it having his soul originate from his larger counterpart that lived in a kill or be killed kind of world. So teleporting away is out of the question or it wouldn’t help him much, and he can’t fight back(I like/support the headcanon(last paragraph of the backstory)) made by Poetax where she said that the bitties have some restrains regarding their magic), so what can he do? He curses up a storm and yells at you to back off, hoping his plan A works.

But let’s say the human isn’t listening and still tries to touch him or capture him. Proceeding like so he might go for plan B and now you’re entering the biting zone. Is biting someone considered nice behavior or fun? No. If you don’t listen to Edgy’s warning then there is a 100% chance he’s going to try to bite you. His bites the way I see it are a reaction to being small and being treated as someone small. He is anxious about being small and being controlled by those larger than him. Let’s be honest nobody would like that. Having someone huge like a giant compared to small you, with the possibility they might treat you like a marionette and/or hurt you just cause you are small and can’t fight back.... yeah, I don’t know about you but that’d make me very anxious and scared. So I see Edgy usually biting for two main reasons;

1) As a way to gain control of the situation he’s in. If people aren’t respecting his physical boundaries(which he let you know previously) then he’s going to bite you.

2) He bites as a source of his only power and influence. Because again he be a smol bean and yelling sometimes doesn’t work. But listen, I believe if Edgy feels comfortable and that he is in a place where he is respected/safe and doesn’t need to keep his guard up all the time around the person, he will respect the other person in return. Living with Edgy doesn’t have to be painful or full of constant biting, it just takes time and patience to earn his trust and show him you’re not going to hurt him. Basically if you guys are cool his biting will drop to 0, or at least will go from being painful and bloody to playful nipping.

But you also mentioned that you see him as abusive?? First I want to say I don’t support abusive behavior or abusive manipulating people. I know sometimes it can be hard to tell the difference, believe me, it took ME almost 13 years to learn it. But an abusive person and hmm let’s say a person with anger or anxiety issues(mixed with lack of trust in people) are two different things. An abusive/manipulating person will appear nice in public to trick others into believing they are this person they appear to be, and they are controlling their emotions and/or situation while doing so. They’re master actors to put it simply. Since Edgy is based of his larger counterpart his anger issues are mellowed down a bit(at least how I see him) so he is more grumpy than angry IMO, but his larger counterpart(who is actually Poe’s UF Sans named Red from her story The Skeleton Games) WOULD fall into the category of someone with anger and anxiety issues. His bouts of rage and yelling are at the moment when they happen uncontrolled and results of his emotions taking over. He doesn’t know how to control his emotions or how to express them in a more easier less vocal way, but that’s not something he couldn’t learn(with a little bit of help from a professional ofc) over time. Red doesn’t pretend to be someone he isn’t, he has a basically ‘what you see is what you get buddy’ kind of attitude about himself. He is not trying to control anyone, he is just scared about dying or worse losing his bro, anxious when he’s around humans he doesn’t trust, angry at the world and humans cause they trapped his species under a mountain and all in all in general just a big huge depressed self hating mess. But he just needs someone to help him out. He needs someone to help him work out his anger issues and to let things go. He needs someone to help him get his HoPe back.....

And Edgy taking after him has similar like issues. He is scared of being hurt, anxious around humans who he doesn’t trust cause of many encounters with bad people in the past, angry at the world and humans cause they made him so small so they can boss him around and control him. In short, the way how I see him is that he is just a big tsundere character who’s been hurt, and wishes to be accepted and loved like the other bitties by a owner, who instead of judging him based on their first meeting will try to understand him and break down his walls. He needs a owner who can withstand the storm long enough to see his mask crack and they’ll see there is some goodness in his soul. Despite him being classified as a monster, Edgy isn’t a monster. That’s how I see him and that’s why I like him. To me he is more than just some abusive, mean bitty who likes to bite people all around. There, you have my answer...

Of course, you don’t have to agree with me on this. :) You are allowed to have your own opinion or to disagree with me. I just hope that reading this might help you see things from my perspective and help you understand my adoration for the little nibbler. Or just make you stop and think a bit more about the character and see that he could be a good companion/friend(see how I didn’t use the term pet, Edgy isn’t found of being called or considered that) if you give him a chance.

💀❤ If you have patience and a lot of understanding you might make a good friend for life who will be loyal to you as long as you never betray or abandon him.

💀❤ He will protect/guard you from dangers, despite his small size. He will protect you because you are important to him.

💀❤ You’re his owner, the only owner who he trusts and loves(though he’ll never say it out loud) and he feels safe around you.

💀❤ He feels happy around you... He feels finally like he found his home...

💀❤ He feels finally like he is worth more than his EXP now that he has you...

#ask skorpi #skorpi answers #bittybones #anon ask #Ho boi my fingers hurt from writing so much lol #but I finally answered this once and for all and I never have to write my answer again

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scripttorture · 5 years

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Part 1. I'm a fanfic writer. I'd like to ask about the repeated exposure of cops witnessing torture, seeing injuries after torture, interviewing victims of torture, as well as also being victims of torture themselves. In reality, when cops do witness torture, see injuries after torture or interview victims of tortue, it is never the huge amount that fiction puts them in. Cops never ever have much of the excitement of anything in fiction. They do not solve murders every week, they do not see horr

Part 2. horribly gruesome stuff every week, they do not shoot someone every week (in fact the majority of cops haven’t shot someone their entire career), they don’t get criminals personally targeting after them or their family year after year, and most importantly they do not keep investigating or go after criminals alone when they are physically or psychically drained especially when told to take a medical leave. Obviously fiction puts these cops into situations that never happens in real lifePart 3. life even if the individual incidents of torture are actually done realistically. Would’t it stand to reason that the psyche of these cops in these fictions are actually less like actual cops and slightly more in the territory of veterans who may have PTSD and other issues. Is that correct? Then it also stands to reason that real life psychological evaluation and medical leave rules also will not work for fiction. What do you say? (end)

I’m not entirely sure what you’re asking but I’ll do my best.

The first thing I say is: it depends where you live. In the Western world being a cop is not a particularly dangerous profession and you’re right most people do not witness a lot of violence over their career.

However this is not the case every where. Police are targetted for violence in some areas, especially during times of war or occupation. When they are serving areas that have a large influx of refugees then the chances are police will be dealing with a lot of torture survivors. When police are attempting to operate in areas that are suffering from protracted violence conflicts then yes, they’ll be witnessing torture just like everyone else.

Whether assumptions like these are true depends on where you’re talking about. From what you’ve said you’re probably not talking about Kashmir, any of the northern Nigerian states that still suffer under Boko Haram or Syria.

But please don’t forget that these places exist. There are places where most police officers will have witnessed torture and places where large numbers of them will be torturers.

All the things that you’ve said ‘never’ happen- well I’m sorry but they do. Probably not where you live but that doesn’t mean they don’t happen.

I’m going to go into the rest of this assuming we’re talking about a stable, rich, country where torture is not routine.

Witnessing torture is traumatising and if someone witnesses torture repeatedly they’re likely to develop long term psychological problems. That doesn’t necessarily mean PTSD although PTSD is possible.

There’s some research to suggest that PTSD is more likely if someone was physically harmed. So it’s likely that a higher proportion of torture survivors have PTSD then witnesses.

Some of the other common symptoms of torture can have a physical cause. Chronic pain can be a result of injury for instance. It can also have a psychological cause or a mixture of physical and psychological causes.

But generally? The symptoms of torture are the same for survivors, witnesses and torturers. There does seem to be a difference in the degree to which people in these groups effected. That difference is likely down to exposure: a witness might only see someone being tortured once, a torturer would see it every day.

Because of that I usually suggest different numbers of symptoms for witnesses, survivors and torturers.

Symptoms aren’t predictable though. No one can say for sure which individual will develop which symptoms.

I always suggest writers take a look at the list of common symptoms here and then decide what’s best for their story.

I try to think about whether I can use symptoms to add to the plot, create interesting challenges for the characters or show the readers more about the characters.

I don’t know enough about war veterans in particular to say whether they look similar to people traumatised by torture. Broadly speaking trauma symptoms are the same no matter the trauma, but that doesn’t mean there are no differences at all.

A common trait I’ve noticed in people who come from places where torture was routine (regardless of whether they experienced or witnessed torture) is an inability to trust the police. I would not expect war veterans to have the same response.

In real life cops who witness torture repeatedly or are tortured themselves are traumatised. They develop some of the common symptoms seen in people who are exposed to torture.

And generally speaking, yes this is not portrayed well in a lot of popular crime shows on the TV.

That can be because the show doesn’t treat a torturous practice as torture (ie it doesn’t realistically show the effects or assumes a practice is harmless). It can also be because a lot of writers don’t realise that witnessing traumatic events can be traumatising.

I say ‘can be’ because it isn’t always. But the more traumatic events someone witnesses the more likely they are to develop symptoms.

I think these problems are often tied up with broader tropes in the genre; ideas about toughness, masculinity and self reliance. There’s a marked tendency in crime fiction to show catching criminals as the result of a heroic individual rather than the result of teams working together.

I don’t think the idea of tough, masculine, self reliant heroes is inevitably bad. I also don’t think there’s necessarily a problem with this fantasy idea of one brilliant individual doing something extraordinary.

The problem comes when that extraordinary individual is presented as the normal reality.

And a separate problem comes from linking a completely impossible idea of ‘resilience’ to male gender identity.

Torture is traumatising. Being completely unaffected by torture isn’t something anyone can achieve by becoming ‘tougher’ or ‘more manly’. The only way to be completely unaffected is to not have a human nervous system.

I do worry about the effect these kinds of heroes have on boys and young men. Because they set a standard for ‘toughness’ that it is absolutely impossible to reach.

Which I think brings us to the last question: whether cops who have witnessed or experienced torture would be placed on leave.

Again, this depends on the setting of the story. In the Western world, yes absolutely. They’d be removed from active duty and (hopefully) put in counselling.

But in countries where more people are likely to have experienced or witnessed torture? No, probably not.

It’s difficult to get an accurate idea of what happens in places that are falling apart. This is my impression, based on survivor accounts, interviews with torturers and the notes Fanon made after the Franco-Algerian war.

In the worst areas police who repeatedly witness or survive torture are not dismissed or put on leave because there is no one to replace them. They struggle on until their health problems become severe enough that they can’t keep going. They have a mental breakdown. They may end up hospitalised but more often they end up losing their job and staying at home dependant on their family for support as they’re unable (at least for a while) to hold down a job.

They are, bluntly, chewed up by the system.

For examples I’d suggest looking up what’s currently happening in Syria or parts of Mexico that are suffering from extreme gang violence.

In areas where police are dealing with a lot of torture survivors but do not witness or experience torture themselves it’s- a little different but the end result is often similar in that they leave their jobs.

The stress and workload take a heavy toll on individuals. There’s a higher rate of people quitting or burning out while on the job.

Anecdotally a lot of people report a sense of failure that they ‘couldn’t cope’. Depression seems to be common and a lot of people also report having difficulty relating to their friends and family afterwards.

These people don’t always have trauma symptoms. Their symptoms are instead caused by a huge amount of workplace stress, inadequate support and- well people being pressured to achieve things that just aren’t possible with the resources they’re given.

For examples I’d suggest looking up people working in refugee camps in Turkey and Bangladesh. You might also find useful information by looking up the police groups that tackle the worst forms of child abuse.

Underlying all of these questions seems to be the notion that it’s alright for fiction to continue using these unrealistic tropes.

That’s an idea I strongly disagree with.

I think that if we’re choosing to portray torture in our fiction then we have an obligation to do it justice.

Because we are telling someone else’s story and it’s a story that is usually twisted into something unrecognisable. It is profoundly unfair to use someone else’s experience in a way dismisses their pain.

This is made worse by the fact public understanding of torture is incredibly poor.

When we choose to show torture as harmless we add to the voices of real people claiming that it is harmless. We tacitly support them by teaching others that torture can be harmless.

And these lies lead to more people being tortured in reality. With the ‘justification’ that it isn’t really that bad. Despite the body count.

We can have individualistic tough-guy heroes without suggesting torture is harmless.

We can write cops seeing, hearing about and surviving torture in ways that are compassionate to real survivors.

We can write stories that show we care. I believe we must.

To paraphrase Diana Wynne Jones, fiction is a place wherein we can trial solutions to real world problems. It allows us to explore the real issues we face in a safer way.

When we misrepresent torture we are failing to honestly confront one of the worst crimes committed in the world today.

I believe this is at best cowardice and at worst malice towards the vulnerable.

If we do not try to improve even our imagined worlds how can we hope to improve our reality?

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#Anonymous #writing advice #tw torture #tw child abuse #tw terrorism #tw police brutality #effects of torture on witnesses #effects of torture #writing victims #writing witnesses #mental health #crime fiction #torture apologia #toxic masculinity #trauma #war crimes

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