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elisysd · 10 hours

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12. Don't give me up, cause what about, what about angels

Masterlist - Previously - Next

Chapter soundtrack: What About Angels - Birdy

Charles saw you tensing after your mother’s cold greeting. He hated how you flinched as she was reminding you that being late was disrespectful towards your dad’s special day, that being away from home and in a big city had made you lose sight of the values they had taught you. But he hated even more how you simply smiled and apologized. He needed all his self control to not take your side, he knew how anxious this whole situation was making you feel, he didn’t want to make it worse by saying something he knew wouldn’t be well received.

The first thing he noticed in the house’s hall was the amount of family pictures, but instead of four people on them were only three. He recognised your mom, assumed the man beside her was your dad and when he thought he would notice you, it was instead your little brother. He couldn't be wrong, he looked exactly like you. The pictures were cut in a certain way that didn’t take him a long time to understand that you had been cut out of them. He felt a wave of rage hitting him. Why make you come here if your parents had gone to such an extent as to erase every trace of your existence? It was a twisted joke.

“You don’t even call anymore, Y/N. I knew it would happen, I’ve always said that being in a world full of sparks and empty promises would change you. You’re too gullible. You don’t even have time for your own family anymore. Not that you ever had.”

“You’ve never tried to ask questions about my job…” you mumbled as Charles put a comforting hand on your hip.

“I don’t need to. I know exactly what you do, you’re the talk of the town. The small town girl made it to the TV. There is no reason to be proud, playing a pretty face on tv… that is not what I raised you to be. And now you’re associating yourself with fair-weather friends…” she said, darting judgmental eyes on Charles. “I know exactly who you are.”

He didn’t have the time to reply as your dad entered the room and sat on the chair without a word. You sat too, Charles close to you as your mom joined your dad’s side.

“How nice it is to finally see you alive.” he said, making you gulp.

“I’m Charles, your daughter’s boyfriend. Nice to meet you.” he introduced himself in a desperate attempt to drive the conversation away from you and the relieved sigh you let out made him think that you appreciated it.

Lunch was awkward, punctuated with snarky comments here and there that you tried your best to ignore. Charles was trying to do the same but it was getting harder and harder for him to keep his calm. But it was when cake was brought that resentment and unspoken words finally came out in the open. You had taken your phone out of your pocket, wanting to show your parents all the beautiful landscapes you had the chance to witness.

“Aren’t you ashamed?” your mom muttered.

“Why?” you turned your head to look at her in disbelief.

“Ashamed of following the sport that killed your brother. Ashamed of being with the man responsible for his death.” she sternly said.

You felt like a million daggers stabbing your heart all at once. You took a deep breath, putting your hand on his thigh, squeezing it lightly to indicate to him not to react. It was something you had to do alone.

“F1 and Charles didn’t kill Luc, it was his leukemia, not anything else.” you replied, feeling a lump in your throat.

“If you had not introduced your brother to that stupid sport, he wouldn’t have been a fan and his illness wouldn't have turned that bad so quickly. He wasn’t talking about anything else than that sport and you. Until his very last breath. His last words were about Formula 1. It took my baby away from me and this is your fault. Both of you.” she finished, turning to Charles this time.

“If I can add something… I know I have no right to comment on this situation but even if I understand your pain, Y/N is not the one to blame. She…” Charles started, quickly shutted up by your dad.

“You’re right, you have no right to say a thing. You don’t know what it is like to lose a son.”

“Maybe I don’t, yeah. But I know exactly what it feels like to lose a parent. I understand your pain. Truly. But with all due respect, you’ve already lost a son, you should be more careful to not lose a daughter by pushing her away and making her feel like a stranger in her own family.”

“We’ve already lost her the minute she decided to not show up at the funeral.” your mom spitted, making you close your eyes, trying to not cry. You wouldn’t give that pleasure to your parents.

“I think it’s best if we leave. It was a bad idea to come here, anyway.” you ended up saying, standing up, Charles following you. “You shouldn’t have invited me in the first place, if it was to treat me that way.”

You took Charles’ hand in yours and dragged him out of what had been once your safe place. Without a word you made your way to his car and rushed inside and it was only when the door was closed and that he had taken place behind the wheel that you broke down. He didn’t hesitate to pull you on his lap and let you cry on his shoulder, holding you tight.

“It’s okay, babe… you’re okay. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. You don’t have to feel bad, you have nothing to feel bad about. If you were believing your mom’s lies, I understand why you were so mean to me at the beginning now.”

“She is not entirely wrong, you know.” you sniffed in his neck. “At least about one thing, I should’ve been there for Luc’s funeral. But it was too hard for me. I didn’t want to face the fact that I would never see him again. I didn’t want to make the nightmare I was in real. because if I was going, it would happen exactly that. It would have made the pain real and permanent. I couldn’t.”

You put your forehead against his, trying to find a way to ground you. Charles drew small patterns on your hips, comforting you the best he could.

“Let’s get some fresh air, okay?” he whispered against your ear.

You got out of the car and hand in hand you started to wander the streets of your childhood, telling him anecdotes and facts of any buildings and streets you were walking on and seeing.

“Tell me about Luc.”

“What do you want to know?”

“Everything. Whatever you want. Whatever you feel comfortable sharing with me.”

“He was passionate. About many things. History and art mostly. He wanted to work in a museum. And passionate about F1 of course. He knew a lot of mechanical stuff, more than I did. He taught me as much as I did, I swear. Maybe more. I was spending my weekends at the hospital with him to watch the races. When he was hospitalized, it was what kept him going. It was our thing, you know. Wait, I think I have a picture to show you.”

She took a photo out of her wallet and gave it to him. If he didn’t know it was a hospital room, he would have had a hard time guessing it. Everywhere were Ferrari and monegasque flags as well as a lot of merch. He was recognising one of his caps on the bedside table. Posters of his podiums were hung on the walls, his Monza’s win right above Luc’s head. Small replicas of his trophies were there too as well as miniatures of his helmets.

“A real fan.” he smiled.

“The best.” you sighed. “ You don’t know how happy he was when you won in Monza. It brought so much joy in his life. Even if it wasn’t for long. It was a tough time, he had just started to get hospitalized, he was very sick and pale and the shell of what he once was. And suddenly, he was feeling a little more alive. Because of you. Then, time went by and I had to leave for New York. It was the toughest decision I had to make in my life. At some point I was ready to take a year off so I could be with him…”

“What made you change your mind?”

“Him. With time my dream became his. He wouldn’t have forgiven me if I was giving it all up because he was sick. He was talking about how amazing it would be if I was interviewing you. I bet he is the happiest up there.” you smiled, looking up. “One of his dreams was to meet you.”

“Maybe it is not too late?” Charles hesitantly said and you looked at him curiously. “Is he buried here?”

You nodded and he felt you stiffened.

“I've never been on his grave.” you confessed after a moment of silence. “It’s too hard and too painful to go there alone.”

“Good thing you’re not alone anymore, then.”

As you were making your way to the graveyard, Charles had to hold you closer to his chest with each step you were taking. You sobs were getting louder and your legs were shakier. It was breaking his heart, trying to see how much you were trying to keep it together.

When you finally reached the grave, at the back end of the graveyard, you fell on your knees in front of the black grave. Luc hated black. A black and white picture of him was also in the middle of the gravestone. It made you shiver. It was well kept, your parents were coming often. The lump in your throat had not gone away in the slightest, it was even bigger now, making you choke up on your own saliva. Charles wanted to hold you, wanted to get you out of here. The emotional devastation you were in was making him want to join you on the ground and cry with you. But he also knew you needed it. It was the closure you needed to move forward. He took a few steps away, giving you privacy.

“I’m so sorry, Luc. So sorry. Sorry about how I wasn’t there for you when you needed me most, sorry to have let you down, sorry to not have stepped up and measured up when I should have, sorry to not have been the sister you deserved. There is not a day that goes by when I don’t regret not being by your side. There are so many things that I should have done differently, so many things that I feel guilty about but none of them compare to how guilty I feel to not have said goodbye. I acted like a coward and I know how much you felt scared about dying. And how I promised you I would hold your hand until the end. I didn’t. I chickened out and I failed you. If I could go back in time, I would, just so I could look into your eyes one last time and hold your hand tight. I wouldn’t hesitate. I would trade anything for one last smile of yours. I hope you can forgive me, I sure can’t do that alone. But despite everything I’m happy and I’m not sure I should be. I fell in love and you would be ecstatic to know who I share my life with. He is supportive and kind and perfect for me. I wish we would have had enough time so you could have met him. But maybe after all, it’s you I should thank. Maybe it’s you who sent Charles on my way. Maybe it is your way of telling me that you are not mad at me. That you want me to be happy. If only you could give me a sign. I just want you to know that everything I do, I do it for you. Because I love you. Forever.”

You felt Charles’ arms around your shoulders as he crouched down beside you.

“Hey, Luc. I know we don’t know each other but your sister talks about you so much that I feel like I already know you. I would have loved to meet you, I know how big of a fan you are of F1. I would have loved to show you around the paddock, maybe I would have let you sit in my car. Anything to make you and your sister smile. You are brave and strong and I have nothing but pure admiration for you. I wish I could have met you. Don’t worry about your sister, I take good care of her and I don’t want to let go of her. I’m here for her for as long as she lets me but I hope it is a forever kind of thing.” he whispered as you looked at him with big and glossy eyes.

He helped you stand up, asked if you were alright and if you wanted to leave. He didn’t mind staying but he wanted to make sure you were alright, the day had been emotionally draining enough. When you nodded, he took you in his arms, engulfing you in his jacket so you weren’t cold and kissed the top of your head as you headed out.

“I’m so proud of you. So proud.” he said as you finally reached his car.

“Thank you. For being there. I don’t think I would have been able to do it alone.”

“You’re the strongest person I know. You would have done it at some point.”

“Did you mean it? What you said up there… About us being forever.” you shyly asked.

“I’m sorry it was not the best time to say it. But to answer you, I do. I’m not kidding, Y/N, I swear I can’t explain it. I don’t know how either but I just know. You’re the love of my life.”

Author's note: In laws meeting incoming... how do you think it will turn out? .

Don't hesitate to leave a comment or an ask, as well as reblogging and leaving a like. Besides the fact that I absolutely love to read you, it helps a lot for the story to find its audience. I also have a taglist for this story, so if you want to be added so you never miss a chapter, let me know.

If you wanna be part of the taglist, let me know.

Taglist: @itsjustkhaos @thirstylion @cmleitora @charizznorizz @sltwins @boherahpsody @herondalism @roseamongthorns13 @aundercover @snowflakesfluff @fictional-l0v3r @queensassybitchsworld @jehun @reengard @valntynebaby

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uncanny-tranny · 7 months

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Hey, gentle recognition for the people who are taking care of themselves in "not aesthetically-pleasing" ways. To the people who have to do things they don't want to because they know they would suffer more if they didn't, to the people who have to brush their teeth with their fingers, to the people who have to use washcloths to bathe, to the people who need to punch pillows or scream into them to express their intense emotions, to anybody ashamed about the way they need to live and take care of themselves.

You are doing the very best you can with the hand you've been dealt. It's not easy, it's not pretty, but it sure as fuck takes so much to do these things. You are doing what is best for yourself, and I, for one, think you deserve to be proud of that. Self-care isn't easy. It isn't pretty, often, but it's something you shouldn't be ashamed of or hide away because it's deemed "grotesque" or "not really self-care (because self-care is pretty and non-threatening to 'normal peoples' senses)"

#mental health #mental health support #self care #like when i was still in school i would end up forcing myself to go because i knew i would feel worse if i hadn't...#...and i don't think people get how difficult that is. it isn't like you choose to be difficult when you struggle #and feeling ashamed about doing these things only makes the situation worse for them (the person struggling)#something i've just been thinking about #i hate this idea that self-care *only* looks like the 'healthy' person's treat days...#...like lighting candles around your bathtub and putting rose petals in the water...#...because that isn't the only aspect to taking care of yourself. sometimes it looks like forcing yourself to bathe and grieving...#...and using rough washcloths because you can't stand the feeling of your own skin and you can't stand how dirty you feel...#...and obviously i'm not saying that mentally ill people doing self-care is the only way it looks...#...but that it really doesn't help us when self-care is almost made into a 'non-threatening' activity that is pleasant and nice-looking #and of course the examples i used in this post were examples and aren't the end-all-be-all

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yourdarlingalina · 4 months

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is it new years yet? | jack hughes

synopsis: y/n's new years kiss is the last person she expected, her former fuck buddy pairing: jack hughes x fem!reader word count: 2.7k warnings: slightly steamy, heavy making out, mentions of sex, a bit angsty, not properly proofread is it new years yet? - sabrina carpenter

What's the best way to forget about your fuck buddy who broke things off with you a week before Christmas? Who you definitely don't have feelings for and who definitely didn't find out about said feelings by accident?

From a responsible person's point of view, it was the correct decision. I fell for someone who just wanted no strings attached sex. He doesn't want a relationship, and it is supposed to save me from being hurt even worse in the future. But I am not a responsible person. A responsible person wouldn't have been talking about their feelings with friends when they knew that the person they had feelings for was also in the same bar.

Which is how I ended up in my current situation. A glass of champagne in one hand while the other holds onto a random guy's shoulder as we sway and grind to the upbeat tempo blasting through the club's speakers. The best way to get over a guy is to get under a new one, right? At least, that's what my friends were telling me as they convinced me to go out with them for New Year's Eve.

"Start the new year off with someone new."

And start the new year off with someone new I will. The guy in front of me is decent looking, he's no Jack but he'd do. His hands were at least doing all the right things, one gripping my hip to pull me closer as the other was pushing my hair out of the way of my neck so that he could leave sloppy open mouthed kisses to my skin. Hands roamed down my body as I brought the champagne flute closer to my lips, this night would require copious amounts of alcohol if I am to make it to midnight. He pawed his hands down from my hips to my ass, gripping and squeezing in ways that should be making me want to push my body harder against his. His mouth trailing from my neck down to cleavage, nipping and sucking at the exposed flesh.

He was doing everything right to my body, but it just didn't feel right. I wanted it to be Jack who was brave enough to handle me this way in the middle of a crowded club, not ashamed to be seen with me, but it wasn't. He made it very clear that he only wanted me in private, with no one knowing that I was his on those nights and that he was mine, even if it was only for a short time. It was like he knew my body better than I did, knew what buttons to press to make me cry out his name. How he made me come undone again and again. The kisses that gave me full body shivers and touches that left my skin feeling like it was set alight.

I was not getting those feelings with the man attached to my body. He seemed like he'd be a great lover for a night, but not in the way I needed. Perhaps if I met him before everything, I could be happy with him but it felt like I had been ruined.

A party popper would end up becoming my hero of the night when one went off right next to my ear causing the glass in my hand to tumble down, splashing champagne on the man as it made its way down to shatter on the floor.

"Oh God! I am so sorry!" I profusely apologize as the man whose name I can't quite remember jumps away from me.

"It's alright, suppose I was gonna end up sticky tonight anyway. I'll be back." He shoots me a wink as he makes off in the direction of the bathrooms. I take the brief moment to escape to the bar, being careful to not slip on the alcohol or broken glass scattering the floor.

I push past the glitter and sweat coated bodies, pushing myself into a corner where I don't think my former dance partner will find me. One of the bartenders comes over to take my drink order not long after I get into my seat.

"What can I get for you?" The man asks quickly, obviously on the verge of losing it due to the new year's rush tonight.

"She'll have a vodka cranberry and I'll have a beer." A voice says from behind me, a voice I know extremely well. I didn't know he was going to be here tonight. Not a single person thought to mention that to me? The bartender makes a move to speak but the man behind me continues, "Brand doesn't matter, just whatever you have." The bartender just nods then scurries off to get our drinks.

I slowly turn on my stool to face him.

"Jack." I say, acknowledging him.

"y/n." He says back, sending shivers down my spine with just how he says my name. He moves closer, keeping me between the counter and his body. Leaning over his body almost touches mine, he keeps his eyes on me, his face getting closer, and for just a second I think he's about to kiss me, but his fingers wrap around the beer bottle that was placed on the counter and suddenly he's back where he was originally standing. "You seem to be having fun tonight."

"You've been watching me?" I blurt out before I could think. Instead, grabbing my drink, putting it to my mouth before I could say anything else.

"Hard not to when you're basically letting whoever that was fuck you in front of everyone." He bitterly spits out. He's jealous? He's not allowed to be jealous. He doesn't want me, I got that loud and clear.

"So? Why do you care?" His eyes snap to me. "I'm not yours, I never was." I break my eyes away from his, suddenly thinking about how interesting my drink looks. He smirks at my sudden movement, his fingers grip my chin and force me to look at him. His face is so close to mine again, I can feel his breath on my face, can smell the alcohol off his lips. He's intoxicating. I clench my thighs together at the small act. Even like this he still has so much power over me. I am undoubtedly his.

His eyes flick from my eyes down to my clenched thighs to my eyes again to the countdown clock behind me and finally back to my eyes. "Thirty minutes till midnight. Meet me on the balcony upstairs in fifteen?" He's asking but it comes out as more of a command.

"Why would I do that?" I push back. I can at least hold onto a little bit of my dignity during this. Can't I? Might be debatable.

"Because I made a mistake two weeks ago." He whispers against my lips. My eyes flutter shut, he's gone when I open them.

◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ ◈ ◈

Fifteen minutes went by quicker than I would've liked for them to. I still haven't made up mind on if I should talk to him or not, but my body decided that I'd still go. I slowly made my way up, giving myself more time to collect my thoughts. I hadn't talked to him properly since that night.

It was a night out after a big win, Jack had invited me and some friends to go out with him and the team. Teasing remarks were thrown at me about how I look at Jack like I was in love. I never did hide my staring well. He had noticed too, how when he looked over at me, my eyes were already on him. Adoration was obvious in my eyes when they were on him. When I got quiet and didn't make any attempt to shoot down the accusations they all got loud. "You love Jack!" They shouted over and over. My cheeks flushed, embarrassment flooded up veins, I had to get away from it.

He heard. I turned to leave the group and he was behind me, eyes wide and jaw slack in shock. He was frozen, a deer in headlights. Me whispering his name snapped him out of his daze causing him to walk off in the opposite direction. I made the mistake of going after him.

"We said no strings attached." He said after the door slammed behind me, his back still facing me.

"I know." My words came out whispered, I was terrified of this. This was never meant to happen. Feelings were never supposed to happen. He was never supposed to find out that one of our few rules were broken.

"We can't continue like this." He finally turned and faced me. He showed no emotion, he was so goddamn hard to read. His blank facial expressions would be the bane of my existence.

"I know." I whispered again, the only words I could get out. I fucked up, by catching feelings, by continuing this when I knew I caught feelings. I tried to push them down and pretend that they didn't exist, but it just wasn't enough.

"I don't love you." I squeezed my eyes shut, feeling the tears start to well up and not daring to let them have the chance of escaping. I knew how he felt, but hearing it was a completely different feeling.

"I know." I sobbed out. He was gone by the time I opened my eyes.

Here I was, yet again, going after him. I somehow made it to the top of the stairs and through the crowd of dancing bodies. There he was, standing on the balcony, leaning over the railing and looking out at the Hudson. I stood there for a good minute, just staring at him, debating on if it was even worth listening to him. Did he really make a mistake or was he just feeling guilty that he didn't reciprocate my feelings?

"What was the mistake?" I finally ask.

His head whips around so fast that I almost think that he's about to give himself whiplash. A small laugh like huff comes out as I walk further out onto the balcony.

"I almost thought you weren't gonna come." His voice is softer, careful, like he was actually scared of the thought that I wouldn't meet him. I look back at the countdown clock on the wall, ten minutes to midnight.

"I like to be fashionably late." He lets a small laugh escape at my comment. God, I love that sound.

"You always have." He turns away again, hands gripping the railing, knuckles turning white from the tension.

"You still haven't answered my question." I say, waiting for him to finally tell me what the mistake was. Was he regretting ending us or how he spoke to me?

"That night." He starts to say before cutting himself off, lips pursed into a thin line.

"Yes?" I nudge his leg with the tip of my heel. He looks at me, eyes scanning my face like he's trying to read my thoughts. Trying to get any idea of what I'm thinking.

"I lied to you." No. "I said I didn't love you." No. "I lied." No.

I should be wanting to hear this, but I don't. I never thought I'd be the type of person to run back to a man just because he gives me a pretty apology and I will not start now, especially when I know it's not true.

"You don't love me, you just miss the sex. Don't worry, you'll find someone else to suck your dick." I move to walk away before I feel this hand come up to grip my arm. He was not going to make this easy for me. All I want to do is go home and crawl under my blankets, forget that all of this even happened in the first place.

"Please, just hear me out." I turn my head to look at him and goddamn those eyes that make me want to melt. He's looking at me so sweetly, I've never seen him look at anyone like this.

"Make it quick." I brush off his hand and lean back towards the railing.

"Oh come on, you know I don't do quickies." He attempts to make a joke, a playful smile pulling on his lips. It quickly fades though as he get serious again. "I broke our rule before we even made it." My head snaps up at his words. What?

"I loved you before we slept together that first time." He can't be telling me the truth. No, our first night together was a drunken mess that was just meant to be a one night stand. The relationship that came after was just mutually beneficial, he didn't have to worry about someone running to the tabloids and I got someone who touched me in a way I didn't think was possible.

"Stop lying to me." I choke out. I don't need a pity confession from him, especially when I just want to leave him behind next year which is in, I quickly check the clock, three minutes.

"I'm not!" He counters back just as the words leave my mouth.

"If you loved me you wouldn't have reacted like that." My eyes are brimming with tears, this is not how I wanted my night to go. I just wanted to find a new guy to kiss at midnight to make me forget about Jack.

"I never thought you'd feel the same." How he could think that is astounding. I don't think he realizes just how magnetic he is, and not just because he's Jack Hughes, hockey star. No, he was much more than that. A good friend, a shoulder to lean on, someone that listens when you really need it, a respectful person who makes you feel like you're floating when his attention is on you. "I'm not good at expressing my emotions."

"Yeah, no shit!" I nearly scream at him. "What do you expect me to do with this?"

"I want to start fresh next year." He admits, his eyes lock back onto mine. "If you gave me another chance, I promise, I won't fuck it up again." He's not lying, he's being genuine. I can see it written all over his face, the softening of his eyes, the breaking down of his walls. He's having a hard time even attempting to be vulnerable about this.

The shouting from the party starts to get louder. "Ten!" Maybe I should give him another chance. "Nine!" If I get hurt again then it's on me. "Eight!" He is who I want to be with. "Seven!" Why not? Is this not what I wanted just hours ago? "Six!"

"Kiss me." I tell him.

"Five!"

"What?" He sputters out.

"Four!"

"You heard me." I say, giving him a soft smile so that he knows I truly mean it.

"Three!" He shifts his body to be parallel mine. "Two!" His hands cup my cheeks. "One!" His lips meet mine as literal fireworks go off. "Happy New Year!" People shout around us. But my mind is just on him. As he's pulling me as close as humanly possible but it's still not enough.

My hands snake up with his abdomen, fingers gripping at anything they can. His hands move to my hair, to my neck, down my chest, caressing softly down to my hips, pulling and pleading to get as close as possible. My body was being set alight, the familiar feeling I've been yearning for. He's pulling sounds out from me that I've never made before. It's from the feeling that he's fully mine now, no hesitancy in his movements, he's confident and proud in what he's doing.

My fingers move up to curl around strands of his hair, pulling his face fully flush to mine, lips melding and moving against each other at a fiery pace. We break away unfortunately to catch our breath, our smiling faces still touching, neither one of us making an attempt to move farther away. In fact, he's nuzzling his face even closer into mine, if that was even possible.

"What are you going to do with me now?" I ask against his lips, looking up into those beautiful, mind melting, ocean like eyes.

"Start the year off right, by apologizing in so many ways." He says then capturing my lips again before dragging me through the crowd of bodies, down the stairs, and out of the door.

#alina writes #jack hughes #jack hughes x reader #jack hughes fic #jack hughes x y/n #jack hughes imagine #jack hughes blurb #nj devils #new jersey devils #nhl imagine

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webslingingslasher · 5 months

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I know we’re all obsessed with frat!peter, but are there any instances where nerdy!peter gets a lil mean too?

for the first time ever, peter is ignoring your call. there are times he's unable to answer, but you know he's purposely watching his phone ring before he silences it.

he's actively ignoring you and you want to scream.

peter doesn't get mad at you. but he is. and it's making everything worse. you can't apologize if he won't talk to you.

it's been two days.

'if you don't call me back in an hour i'm coming over.'

'and yes, that's a threat.'

peter must be really mad. because he didn't answer.

'hi, is peter around?' you can tell may wants to shout the truth, instead she shows solidarity to her nephew. 'sorry, honey. he's out right now.'

you challenge her, 'can i wait for him?' may isn't playing your games, 'he didn't say when he'd be back.'

it's not may's fault, but you still huff at her. 'he has to talk to me at some point.' you see a flush of parent coat over her features.

'sometimes when someone is hurt, they need to think about how to react to it before it gets worse.'

you feel like crying, 'is he really that mad at me?' may slowly closes the door, 'i'm sorry, but peter isn't home.' you want to catch the door and bark out to peter, who you know is holed up in his room, but you respect his space and leave.

it was all your fault. you pushed his harshest barrier and you swear you didn't mean to, it was just the most hurtful thing you could spit out in a moment of fury.

instant regret. you swore you heard peter's heart break the second you finished. his crushing silence hurt more than an equal blow. he just calmly grabbed his backpack and left. and you let him, you were speechless, you couldn't believe the things that came out of your mouth.

you retreat with a few texts.

'i'm sorry, peter. i really, really am.'

'i won't keep bothering you, just talk to me when you're ready.'

'i love you. and i know you love me too, so you don't have to say it back tonight.'

and he doesn't. not when you check before bed and not when you wake the next morning. you've never felt peter's cold shoulder before, but it's icy and stings.

you'd see him on campus and he couldn't ignore you in person, right?

there was only one way to tell, and it was when you saw him sitting at an outside table. scribbling in a notebook while he looked over a textbook and some sheets, he never looked so pretty.

it's selfish, but you want nothing more than to kiss him.

'hi.' sitting backwards, your back hit the edge of the table. if he tells you to fuck off you'll make a quick escape. looking at his side profile he shows no reaction, he was expecting you to join him.

'hi.' peter doesn't share the interest to look at you.

'wanna talk?' you hold your breath, hopeful he'd say yes and you could do your best attempt at damage control.

'not really,' his calm nature unsettles you. you'd rather he spit in your face.

'can i talk?' peter didn't want to talk, but he might listen. you just wanted to make it okay, or try.

you think he agrees just to get you to leave quicker. 'sure.'

anxiety scratches your insides, you've never been so ashamed in your life. it was an odd feeling wanting to do nothing but hold peter close to you while you apologize, while also knowing he wanted nothing to do with your touch.

'i'm sorry. i've never been more sorry for anything in my entire life and i don't know how to make it right. i would do anything to take it back, if i could go back in time to stop myself i would.'

it's unfair, but the reality of the situation hits. tears prickle at your eyes. you just feel so bad.

'i don't know why i said that, and i regretted it the second it left my mouth. i could try to come up with a million excuses, but i said it and i'm taking accountability. i know it doesn't help, but, like...'

you close your eyes, when you open them a tear races down your cheek. you're quick to wipe it. it's not about you.

'i am really fucking disgusted in myself. i'm ashamed and embarrassed and i know i broke your heart. peter, i... i took the darkest part of you and weaponized it. i broke your trust and i am a really, really, really bad girlfriend.'

you deserved the silence. 'you're mad at me and that's fair. i can't say it enough, but i want you to know i'm sorry.'

the last sentence caught his attention, peter shakes his head and laughs under his breath.

'you see, the thing is, i don't think i'm mad. i'm just really fucking hurt. you told me ben was just waiting on someone to put him out of his misery.'

you wince. it sounded so much worse coming from his mouth, it was like the words burnt him and left a bad taste behind. they were seared into his brain. there was nothing in the world to justify what you did.

'you were right. you broke my heart and trust in one go. how do you fix it? i don't know, but i can't even look at you right now. talking to you feels like i'm pulling glass out of my skin.'

'i'm glad you're disgusted with yourself, because i am too.'

there was the blow. it wasn't half as harsh as yours, but it dug deep. you couldn't blame him either. it's entirely too selfish, but you need to know if there's something to work for.

'are you going to break up with me?' you sound sad but you wouldn't blame him if he said yes, you would only blame yourself forever. you don't like how long the silence was, it felt like he was actually thinking about it.

'i don't know.'

three words made you feel empty. the future of your relationship and happiness was a gamble all because you couldn't shut your mouth.

'okay.' it wasn't. 'i know it seems pointless now, because i already failed at it, but i'll never say anything like that ever again. i never, ever wanted to hurt you like this.'

for the first time in three days, peter looks at you. he looks tired.

'you did. that's why you said it. you were mad and i wasn't feeding into it, you got even more upset and said the most hurtful thing you could've to me.'

you're desperate, 'i know! but i swear it wasn't on purpose! i didn't know what i was saying until i said it, and i mean, c'mon peter, you know me. i've never said anything like that before, and i won't ever again.'

peter throws you a bone, maybe he really heard the desperation in your voice. 'i know you're sorry, i know you feel terrible and you wish you could take it back. but that doesn't make it okay. and i need you to understand that.'

you nod quick, 'i do! i understand, i promise.'

peter sees it differently. 'i don't think you do. if you did, you wouldn't be here begging for me to say everything's okay.'

his words make you pause, you see his stance in a different light. your apologies have done nothing but make peter feel like he has to accept them. may said he needed space and you haven't given him any, instead hounding him with texts or forcing him to listen to the same string of sorry's.

you stand, it's very clear to you what needs to happen. if you have any chance of reconciliation. you need to cut contact.

'you're right. i didn't see it like that, but you're right. the second i walk away, i promise i'm done. no more texts, no more surprise visits, no more bothering you on campus. nothing. you come to me when you're ready. no matter the conversation.'

you follow your word and do just that while trying to ignore the worst form of anxiety that crosses over your chest. walking away, unsure if your boyfriend still loved you, was a feeling you wouldn't wish on anyone.

it spreads the longer you hear nothing from peter. was he adjusting to life outside you? should you be doing the same? you didn't realize how much you wrapped peter into your life until he wasn't around.

you had to find a classmate to do revisions with. you had to plan lunch with friends instead of peter. you had to scroll past articles and memes he'd enjoy. you had to stop yourself from texting him a hundred times a day.

the closest you got was a glimpse at his face when he was talking to a friend across campus, he was laughing. you felt relieved knowing he was happy, until you noticed it didn't seem like he missed you all that much.

after four days and all hope lost, you decided it was time to wave the white flag. it was over, if you grieve the relationship now it won't be so bad when he tells you officially. you'd be able to walk away without a panic attack.

while wallowing to yourself in your room, you berate yourself internally for ruining the one true good thing you had. spider-man was entirely too calm when he entered your room right as you felt a tear race down your cheek.

'why are we crying?'

you sit up, you've never been so happy to see the masked hero. until you piece together why he's there, you weren't pre-maturely crying after all.

sniffles around your words, 'cause we broke up.'

the mask is off in a second, 'who said that?' you shrug, the answer is in front of your face. 'isn't it obvious?' peter sits next to you, 'we're not broken up.'

you still don't feel comfortable, 'are we going to be?' peter rewords himself, 'i'm not here to break up with you, no.'

‘then why are you here?’

peter exhales deeply, a tired excuse of a laugh. ‘i can be upset with my girlfriend and miss her at the same time.’ for just a second, you brighten. ‘you miss me?’

‘yeah. of course i do.’ you almost explode when peter pats your knee, ‘you’re my best friend.’ it’s enough to make you want to cry. you fall into him, an awkward hug, he doesn’t say anything.

‘you’re my best friend too. i missed you so much, i’m so, so, so sorry, peter.’ you melt when a gloved hand rubs your back, it’s not even his skin but you’ve missed his touch so much it’s enough to settle you.

‘it’s okay.’

the words you’ve been looking for, your heart soars. digging your fingertips into his shoulder blades, you hold him tight. ‘is it?’ you don’t want to force him into it.

‘it is.’

except when you remember your words it still doesn’t feel okay. you’re not sure if it ever will. you wonder if that’s what peter was waiting on. 'i don't know, peter. i don't want you to resent me.'

'hey,' you're held at arm's length, peter wants to make sure you're looking at him. 'i took time away so i wouldn't resent you. you really, really hurt my feelings, staying away helped me protect yours.'

you can't imagine the strife you placed on peter, you know actions speak louder than words, but it's a promise to yourself that you will never do anything like it again.

'i'm so sorry, peter. i feel terrible.'

a hint of a smile, 'i know you do. watching you squirm has been a little fun.' you drop your jaw, the nerve. 'oh, you're so mean for that!'

peter cleared his throat, you weren't out of the fog yet.

'but, seriously. that fucking killed me, i mean, i really thought i couldn't breathe. i was just... shocked. shocked more than mad or sad or... i'm not sure.'

you open your mouth, peter stops you, he knows what you're about to say. 'and i don't want you to keep apologizing. it happened, we worked through it, and it doesn't need to keep being mentioned.'

'okay.' it's quiet, you understand what he means, but you feel like you can't explain your sympathy enough.

'ben was one of the most important people in my life and i opened up to you about it. i know it was in the heat of the moment, but you can't use those things against me. it will make me feel like i can't share anything with you.'

'i'm-' peter cut you off with your name, you held your lips closed.

'you're not a bad girlfriend either. you tried. you reached out, you stopped by, you apologized, you stayed away. you did everything you could do to prove how sorry you felt. even if i ignored you, that didn't go unrecognized.'

peter takes a deep breath, 'so,' his hands cup your face, thumbs brush your cheek bones softly. 'i love you, i'm not breaking up with you and it's okay.' peter rubs his nose against yours, 'okay?'

peter isn't saying it's okay because it's fine you talked to him like that. peter's saying it's okay because he sees your imperfections and loves them. peter's saying it's okay because he's said some things he doesn't believe either.

peter's saying it's okay because we're all allowed to fall from grace from time to time.

you want to say sorry, instead you smile and push against his face with your own.

'okay.'

'good. now give me a kiss, i've been dying for one.'

#peter parker blurb #peter parker x reader #tasm!peter x reader #peter parker angst

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furiousgoldfish · 4 days

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Asking for help when you're being abused, doesn't come naturally. It, in fact, feels counter-productive, dangerous, wrong, bad, shameful, mortifying, scary, burdensome (for the person you're asking), and sometimes the abused person can feel like they would rather keep to themselves forever, than reach out and say what is going on.

This is not accidental; abusers make it so on purpose. They spend a lot of effort convincing you that you're a burden on the entire world, that you're attention hungry and making things up to stir up drama, that you lie and remember things wrong, that you should be ashamed of what was done to you and how you made the abuser do it. Even if not spoken out loud, it is very clear that if you said anything to anyone, you would be punished, shamed, and put trough even worse abuse than what you're experiencing right now. That things would turn around to make you seem like you're the worse one in the situation and everyone would side with the abuser.

So reaching out for help, after a certain point, feels useless. Like you'd be only inconveniencing people around you, showing them how incapable you are, how helpless and pathetic and ashamed you feel, and nobody would be able to help you anyway. Abusers make it seem like they're above law and authority, the idea that just another person could do anything to stop them feels ridiculous. And there's a possibility outsiders will side with the abuser, making the situation infinitely worse for you, because they will tell the abuser and get you into worse trouble.

Not asking for help, and instead just surviving or maybe independently trying to get away, is not a sign of a fault, or a person not trying hard enough and not wanting help. It means the situation is so bad that involving another person might mean extra danger, and doesn't lead to resolving the situation.

When you think about it, what does your average person do to help someone in abuse? There's no easy steps to secure somebody's safety. A person might report it, which might end up just pissing the abuser off. The victim often has no other place to go, so now they're threatened with homelessness. Someone offering you a place to stay might work short-term, while also being dangerous, but victims need more than short-term solutions. They need permanent, foolproof and secure life plan to stay away from the abuser. They need resources that help them access safe places to indefinitely stay in, they need consistent income, and a community to keep them safe. This is not something that anyone can just offer, and even programs that offer some of this help, are temporary.

Sometimes we don't ask for help because we can tell that help is impossible, and sometimes, we're conditioned not to, we have gone trough torture for just thinking of telling someone what's going on. We still want the abuse to stop. We still need to get away. We're still doing our best to survive and escape, while also trying to not inconvenience anyone around us.

#reaching out for help #anti victim blaming #psychological abuse #escaping abuse #child abuse #domestic abuse #surviving abuse #emotional abuse #gaslighting #being trapped in abuse

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cocogum · 4 months

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Yugo and Amalia’s relationship is much more complicated than you think.

Sometimes I wonder what Amalia meant when she said “Nothing is impossible.” at Yugo’s explanation of why they couldn’t be together.

Like I know you want that eliatrope ass but he’s got a point shawty.

What do you think would’ve happened if he got into a relationship earlier on with you??? Can you imagine how it would’ve looked like?? My god there would be so much drama and rumours in the Sadida kingdom….but like really big ones to the point where it wouldn’t sound funny or entertaining anymore, but just criminal 💀

Also, how is she gonna….you know? Do anything to him? Sure, Yugo’s mentally a man but he still has a 10-year-old body.

Did Amalia not think this through when she told him “Nothing is impossible.”???? Either she said that because she genuinely only wanted to keep things pure with him besides hand-holding and kissing, or she’s just a really freaky bitch in bed.

There can’t be anything else, it’s either one of them or she just said that without thinking.

Imagine being a servant in her kingdom if Yugo did get together with her before season 3…..I love drama but I don’t wanna get scarred for life, there’s a limit.

Amalia would legit be the scariest one in the relationship though. Like it’s cute and very loyal of her to accept him even if he doesn’t look like a grown man but if you’re fine getting tongue kissed by him ON THE MOUTH when he looks like a minor AND you don’t care what others say, then you’re a menace to society. I wouldn’t even be worried for Yugo, I’d just be worried for everyone else’s sake. (Before ppl come for my ass, dw i loved the yumalia kiss cuz no one was around them-)

Some people are saying that Yugo’s reason for not being with her is bs because “love is love” and “Yugo can just explain that his race ages slowly to people”.

When in actuality, it’s all very much more complicated than it already looks.

In fact, their relationship could raise so many problems and conflicts that I decided to list them up for you. Here are the following reasons why these two being together can go very wrong:

1) Amalia isn’t a normal Sadida. She’s a PRINCESS of the SADIDA KINGDOM. Marriage isn’t just some event that happens and then ends. It won’t look like the one Dally and Eva had. Royal marriages are a bigger deal than they let on and it’s a public thing to witness.

2) Amalia is a public and authoritative figure. Meaning that if she were to marry Yugo, the whole world would know that she got with a man who’s stuck in a child’s body. Sure, even if Yugo explained the situation to the other nations, this would still look very weird and off-putting for the others to see. People would still wonder why (and especially how) Amalia fell in love with Yugo when he looks like that. They would definitely start asking questions. Not to mention that if Amalia were to showcase who she loves to the world, plenty of sick twisted people would see their relationship and feel encouraged to continue their behavior (you know exactly what kind of ppl I’m talking about here). And if those same disgusting people got caught doing immoral things with children, they would just point fingers at Amalia and say “But if she does it, how come I can’t?”. They’d start blaming her for their actions, making her look even worse to the public.

3) No matter how you look at their relationship, the only ones who would genuinely feel comfortable witnessing them together would be Ruel, Eva, Dally, Adamaï, and even Elely and Flopin. They know Yugo and Amalia on a personal level because they have all been through so much with these two that they know exactly how they are and know that Amalia isn’t the type to take advantage of Yugo like that. But if the rest of the world were to see them like this? That’s a hard no.

4) Amalia claims that she doesn’t care what other people think. That means she wouldn’t be ashamed or shy to give Yugo affection out in public, she definitely feels like the type to do public displays of affection with her significant other. Who knows who could see them together? Teenagers, adults, senior citizens, but especially the children who would pass by them and be too confused to understand why a grown woman is kissing a ‘child’ like that.

5) Her family (which currently consists of Armand and Aurora) would immediately stop her from getting together with Yugo. Because yes, her family would also be a problem. (I was surprised that I didn’t see a lot of people mention the Sadida family to be another factor against their relationship.) Armand is too much of a strict brother. He won’t be easy to sway and he always says what he thinks. He’d immediately (and clearly) explain to Amalia that this decision of hers is a very disgusting and shocking one. The idea of throwing harsh words at her wouldn’t seem very far-fetched for Armand to do. Not only that, but he’d also start to become very strict on her, wanting to know her whereabouts at all times and make sure that her time outside of the kingdom is limited since he now knows he can’t trust her when it comes to what types of men she loves and especially who she’s friends with. Aurora, on the other hand, is already very manipulative so she’d most likely side with her husband on everything that he says when it comes to Amalia.

6) And last but not least, her relationship with Yugo would make the royal Sadida family look extremely bad in front of the other kingdoms and nations. Like I said before, since Amalia is a public/authoritative figure due to her royal status, her choices to inflict any action has a chance to make her family look bad. The same can be said for Armand too if he did anything without thinking.

So in short, not only would Amalia and Yugo’s relationship look weird and wrong to the world no matter what Yugo says, but their relationship could also affect and hurt a lot of people if these two are not careful or aware of how they’d look like, especially Amalia.

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fallinforerling · 1 year

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LOVE ISN'T ETERNAL. chapter 10 - jb

ೃ⁀➷ jude’s masterlist

ೃ⁀➷ jude’s taglist

ೃ⁀➷ masterlist

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"So... You're back together with him?" Nikki whispered, looking at you neutrally. She was fighting her face muscles, so they didn't make any type of weird expression that may upset you. She was as sweet as it gets.

"God, no! We're just... friends. That's it." It made you uncomfortable to admit you forgave Jude after all the events of the past month. You were aware of how mad your friends were at him. "I know it’s a bit stupid to forgive him after…"

"After all the shit? We know. He’s not the brightest person around for breaking up with you for that reason." Mia leaned against the sofa, shrugging. "I swear to God, some men can’t talk about their feelings for the sake of their life." A tiny smile peaked from her lips. "We get you, you know that, right? It’s not easy to ignore all the feelings you still have for him… It’s been a month."

"Hey!" You blushed rapidly, ashamed by Mia’s words. "That’s not the reason…"

"Sweetie, we know you. You’re not going to fail yourself, us or anyone else just because you still love him." Nikki sighed. "And he’s kinda handsome…" Mia elbowed her, rolling her eyes. "What?! He is! Not my type!" She screamed immediately, looking at you with a worried expression. "Don’t take it as a hint of my non-existent attraction to your boyfriend."

"He’s not my boyfriend!" You screamed as well, laughing. "We-are-friends."

"For now." Mia shouted, giving you a knowing look. "If he plays his cards right… Baby, you’re going back to being his girlfriend in less than three months."

"Or his wife." Niki giggled while saying it.

"Very funny." It was your time to roll your eyes, taking a deep breath. "I love the support in case I get back together with him, but that’s not it. I’m still bitter about the whole situation, I just got tired of… I don’t know, the intense drama and both of us wanting closure. He’s my friend. We can be friends."

"Are you trying to convince us or yourself?" Mia asked, patting your leg. "We get it, he’s an asshole. I’m not saying he’s innocent or that you should get back together with him right now, but… Girl, you’re in love, and so is he. He basically implied marriage."

"You know what they say about drunk talk." Nikki added.

"I don’t want to hear anything else about marriage. That’s the reason for our breakup… Besides, we’re going to his parents house tomorrow so he can tell them the truth."

"No way! How did that happen?!" Mia laughed, visibly enjoying Jude’s future sufferment.

"He said he was going to do anything in his power to make things right with me… Well, that’s the first thing I asked for: honesty. I need him to be completely honest to his parents." You crossed your arms. "It’s bad enough that he asked Jobe to lie about our breakup too. I can’t stand it anymore."

"Sounds reasonable." Nikki agreed, smiling again. "He’s going to throw himself under the bus just to make his girl happy; how romantic!"

The only answer she got from you was a pillow thrown directly at her face.

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If you were completely honest with yourself, you were as scared as Jude seemed. It was easier to think about it than to actually do it. You loved Jude’s parents; they were the sweetest people ever, and they always treated you like a daughter. That’s why it was horrible to lie to them, but it was even worse to confess it directly to their faces.

"I’m nervous." You said after a while, waiting in the living room for them to arrive. Jobe was sitting on the opposite sofa, smiling from time to time while looking at his phone.

"You are nervous? Mom is going to kill me." Jude took a deep breath, bouncing his right leg non-stop since he sat down. "Dad’s going to smack my head off after he finds out why I broke up with you."

You bit your lip, feeling bad for putting him in this position. Nonetheless, it was inevitable.

"Maybe you shouldn’t mention the marriage part." You said after a while, touching his arm. "It might be too much."

"What? Yes, I do. What’s the point of telling them if I’m not going to be completely honest with them? You said I needed to hold myself accountable for my actions, that it was best for my parents to know what happened. So I’m doing it. If a scolding from my parents and disappointed looks are what it takes for me to regain a little bit more of your trust, then that’s what I’m doing." He rubbed his face, taking your hand between both of his. "I’m just a bit nervous, that’s it."

You both looked at each other for a while, just silently studying the other. You felt a different type of happiness while replaying his words in your head.

"Good, then." You squeezed his hand, smiling. "Do you want me to be here while you tell them?"

He shook his head.

"I need to tell them alone, it was my mistake after all."

"Better gather your courage, because they’re here." Jobe said almost immediately, looking out the window. You didn’t even notice he got up in the first place. "Come on, let’s go somewhere else after you say hello, they need their space." He told you, grabbing his phone.

The three of you silently waited for them to arrive. When the door finally opened, your heart started to beat frantically. Would they hate you after this? Will they yell at Jude? Tell you to leave?

"Don’t panic. It’s going to be fine." Jobe spoke, sensing your sudden fear.

"We’re here!" Mark said, his voice coming from the hall. "Are we all home?"

"Yeah! We’re in the living room!" Jude said, standing up. He looked at you over his shoulder, giving you a tiny smile. "It’s okay, just go with Jobe while I do this."

"Hello, hello!" Denise entered the room first, smiling, as always. "Honey! I’m so glad you’re here! I bought all the ingredients for your favorite meal, so I hope you’re hungry." While she said all that, she gave both of her sons a kiss and a hug to you.

"Hello, darling. Nice to see you again." Mark followed her, hugging you. "What’s up with all of you standing in the middle of the room?"

"I…" Jude started to talk, his voice failing at the last second. "I wanted to tell you something. To the both of you."

Mark and Denise looked at each other with identical expressions of suspicion. Then they looked at you, raising their eyebrows. The look they had on their faces was a mix of emotion and fear.

"Okay?" Denise said, sitting on the nearest sofa. "Go ahead."

"Uhm, it’s better if we’re alone." Jude said, looking back at Jobe and you.

"We are… Going to be upstairs, bye!" Jobe was fast on fleeing the scene. He took your arm, dragging you out of the room and up the stairs. You gave Jude one last worried look before leaving.

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It’s been twenty minutes since both of you went upstairs. There hasn’t been one yell, any loud voices, or even any mumbling that was high enough for you to hear it. You were happy that it was a peaceful conversation, but the suspense was killing you. You sat on Jobe’s bed, paced around the room, fiddled with some funkos that were sitting on his desk, and even folded some clothes that were on a chair. He kept looking at you with an annoyed expression; you were going all over his room, so it was understandable.

"Can you sit still for five minutes? It’s fine, they’re not going to kill him." Jobe looked up from his phone after you sat down and immediately got up for the third time, sighing. "Besides, if there’s no yelling, they’re not going too hard on him."

"I’m just worried that they’ll be mad at him forever." Was all you said, sitting next to him on the bed. "Am I overreacting?"

"Just a bit." He shrugged, looking at you. "I understand why you are worried, but don’t be. They love you. Of course they’re going to be a bit disappointed in Jude for being… Well, Jude. But it’ll pass. Just prepare, because they're going to work extra hard on getting you back together."

"Why is everyone saying that? We’re friends now."

Jobe gave you a side smile that did nothing to calm your anxiety.

"It’s just meant to happen, darling."

˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚

✉️ Jude: You guys can come downstairs, I’m still alive

✉️ Jude: At least

The text relieved your stress a bit, but the idea of coming downstairs was still terrifying. What will Denise tell you? You didn’t want to make her upset after all, she was like a second mother to you in so many ways.

“It’s now or never, love. C’mon, it’s okay.” Jobe had to physically lead you through the hallway and down the stairs. You were so stiff it was uncomfortable to walk. “Stop acting like you’re walking straight to your death.”

“It feels like it, Jobe. It really feels like it.” You whispered after walking around the corner and entering the living room.

Denise and Mark were standing by the sofa, where Jude was sitting with a blank stare directed at the carpet. He was pale, but other than that, his body language was still pretty good for a person who spent the last thirty minutes talking about a delicate subject with his parents.

“Oh, honey.” Denise said as soon as she saw you, walking rapidly towards you. She gave you the warmest hug you’d ever received from someone in a long time. “I swear I raised him better than that.”

“It wasn’t your fault, Denise.” You rubbed her back, smiling a bit. Your eyes wandered to Jude, who saw the hug with a tiny smile on his face. His eyes were tired, but he seemed content with what he saw. “It was just complicated.”

Mark stood there, obviously uncomfortable and not sure about what to do. You simply smiled at him once Denise released you from the hug and gave him a little thumbs up. He seemed relieved by it; he just smiled back and pointed at Jude.

“I’ll make sure none of that happens ever again, I swear.” Then he looked behind you. “And you, young man, stop covering your brother when he does things like this.”

“Dad, don’t shoot the messenger. I prefer to get scolded by you than choked to death by Jude.”

“Talking about drama queens.” You said, smiling when Jude seemed a bit more animated by your joke.

“Well, I’ll take her to the kitchen for a while. She needs a little bit of peace.” Denise grabbed you by the shoulders with care, and you let her take you wherever she pleased because it was better than staying in the living room and being stared at by the whole family.

“My love, I hope you know I’m deeply sorry about Jude’s behavior.” She said the moment you were out of earshot from the boys. “I don’t know what got into him to act like that. I knew something was wrong this past month. He was unusually quiet, he never talked about you anymore, which was weird since he never shuts up about you or what you guys did. I thought it was a fight, nothing else.” She sighed. “I’m very disappointed by all this. And again, so sorry that you had to go through it because my son wasn’t capable of talking to you or us.”

“Stop apologizing, it wasn’t your fault that he decided to manage the situation like he did.” You rubbed her arm, trying to make sure she saw you were sincere. “The good thing is that we’re on good terms and you guys know what happened.”

“Oh, it’s such a shame… You guys were such a lovely couple.” She smiled. “It’s not because he’s my son, but… I wish there was a solution. I’m not defending him, he behaved very poorly and doesn’t deserve a second chance right away. I just know that you both love each other very much.”

You knew you were safe with Denise to tell her the truth.

“I do. I still love Jude very much but… I can’t just let him be my boyfriend this soon. I feel like… I’ll be disrespecting what I went through this past month trying to get over the situation.”

“Your healing process it’s more important than my son’s urge to make things right. He can work harder to repair what he destroyed in the first place.” She gave you an understanding look. “Make him do an effort to save the relationship. You deserve it.”

Your eyes felt suddenly watery.

“Thank you for the advice…”

“Anytime, darling.” She paused, giggling a bit. "And we thought you were pregnat, how naive."

That got you giggling as well.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

After the whole “confession session” you had at his house and a very awkward dinner, Jude decided it was a good idea to go out and eat dessert while exploring the city. You argued, saying people may recognize him and take photos while you two were walking, but he just shrugged and took you for a walk anyways. You followed along because you didn’t had enough energy to discuss; plus, you were craving something sweet.

So you let him walk you around Birmingham, like he always did when you visited his hometown. You didn’t know how, but he always took you to a new place, no matter how many times you did the same routine. Tonight, the walk stopped at a really tiny but beautiful ice cream shop; after some greetings, photos with two guys from the staff and very appealing cups of ice cream, you continued walking until you found a very nice bench far away from the dispersed crowds.

"Were they too hard on you? Be honest." You asked between scoops of each other's ice cream.

"They were, but mostly because I blew it with you. They said that type of impulsive acts had been always a problem for me, and I agree. I always regret things I do from one moment to the other. But... It wasn't much of an scolding, but more of a large session of advices..."

"That's good. At least they didn't kill you."

He smirked, not replying but instead leaning over to steal the last bite of your ice cream but stopped at the last second.

“Wait, where’s your necklace?” His hand moved your hair away from your neck, revealing the absence of the gift that meant so much to the both of you.

You stayed in place, scared to tell him the truth. What a way to ruin the mood, huh?

“Uh…” You coughed, awkwardly trying to move your hair back to your neck so his eyes were unable to see how naked it was. “I kind of threw it into a lake two weeks ago?” Yes, you did say that as a question.

“What?!” He laughed afer a few seconds of blinking, surprising you with the absence of any type of anger.

“I… I threw it into a Scottish lake, actually.” You paused, smiling when he started to shake his head, still laughing. “I was very upset. I wanted to get rid of it to get closure. Don’t judge me!” You smacked his arm.

“I’m not! I’m just impressed by it!” He kept smiling. “Well, okay. It’s some new jewelry for the sirens, I guess.”

“Shut up.” Your cheeks were red, maybe because of the whole ridiculous scenario of a siren taking your necklace or because he was very pretty while smiling.

“I’ll never shut up about this.” He hugged you out of the blue, leaving a tiny peck on your temple before resting his head on top of yours. “I’ll get you a more beautiful necklace… Don’t worry.”

“You don’t have to…” But you really wanted him to do so.

“Of course I do, my love.”

And when you felt the butterflies inside your chest trying to get out, you knew you still loved him a lot. What were you going to do to stay friends with him while your heart healed? No idea.

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚⋆·˚ ༘ * TAGLIST

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jaebeomsbitch · 10 months

Text

Victorian Wh*re (R.R)

Summary: Roman suggests maybe you can watch each other touch yourselves. Fem reader!

WARNINGS: SMUT MINORS DNI, mutual masturbation, swearing,

A/N: We're bringing back the dildo thing in the next fic! God I just know it would drive him crazy but also he'd feel so insanely bad about himself after. Anyway, hope you enjoy.

“You diddle yourself, I diddle myself come on it’ll be a fuckin’ disgusting fuck fest” Roman says. He’s always the one to initiate any intimate moments between you two because you knew how uncomfortable he was with it all. It’s like his body wants it, craves it but his mind immediately snaps him out of it when things get too far. You hadn’t gotten past phone sex which was even surprising to you. You didn’t know much about Roman’s sexual issues because he isn’t the most emotionally available person.

“Can you even…” you don’t finish the sentence. Your mind immediately travels to the image. The way his mouth hangs open, his hips twitching, that vein on his forehead popping out as he pants for breath. You can always admit that your…boyfriend? Whatever he was, was attractive. And although he has a vulgar personality you can’t help but look at the way his lips move or the way he perfectly quirks his mouth into a smirk. Meeting Roman made you realize you probably had odontophilia, your eyes always trained on his mouth. Something that Roman has picked up on but he’s yet to use as ammunition. Something about the way he has sharp canine teeth turns you on. Maybe it’s some sort of primal urge in you, like in caveman days he’d probably be really good at eating raw meat.

“Oh fuck off! Yes I can jerk off, I jerk off so much I’m surprised I still have skin,” he says. You can’t help but laugh at his admission.

“God you sound like a teenage boy,” you shake your head. His hazel eyes narrow at your little chuckle.

“You want me to prove it to you?” He asks, eyebrow quirked, lips pressed into a slight grin. You look at him for a second.

“Oh you’re serious. Can- can you even get it up?” The words leave your mouth before you can think. As much as you always love your back and forth with Roman you never liked poking fun at his sexual trauma.

“Well…just— just try it with me and you’ll see,” he says, that grin a little wider but his eyes hold a certain vulnerability.

You sigh, closing your eyes for a second as you press your head into the pillow. Are you really gonna do this? It’d be better than that time he tried to have sex with you and ended up dry humping your thigh for two seconds before just giving up and turning away. He didn’t let you comfort him either which only made it worse.

A part of you was scared of crossing this line with Roman, you didn’t want to scare him off and create only more bad sexual experiences for him. But, you did feel pent up, would you mind if he just watched you if he couldn’t touch himself?

“Ugh, fine,” you finally say, deciding to get out of your head. If he felt comfortable enough to do this with you then you’d let him. You didn’t want to deny him that part of himself, especially when you know how much he struggles with intimacy.

“Throw me some pillows,” you say. Making a pile of them at the foot of the bed. You situate yourself so you’re half sitting half lying down. You have a clear view of him as you lay diagonal from him. He sits leaning against the headboard, you can see the way he gulps down his saliva. Was he expecting you to deny him?

“We can do this another time,” you say, giving him an out to say no.

“What are you scared?” He taunts but his voice sounds a little broken.

“I’m serious Rome, if you’re not ready you’re not ready,” you say, actually addressing the problem.

“Oh fuck off, you got a fuck up vag or something? Oh god it’s fucked up isn’t it? Like a fucking acid explosion down there?” He says.

You laugh, “on the contrary, all my partners have said I have a ‘pretty pussy’” you say laughing. It wasn’t true but you weren’t ashamed of your vulva, why should you be? Everyone’s look different.

“Well I’ve gotten quite a few people thirsting over my cock. Said they wanted to make a mold of it or something. Oh those sick fucks probably would make a dildo and fuck themself with it,” he says.

“Wait, why is that kind of a good idea?” You say.

“What?” His attention snaps back to you.

“Well if you can’t fuck me, then give me a replica of your cock. Then I’d at least know what it feels like,” you grin up at him. He’d probably love it, seeing you moan at the feeling of his rubber cock in you.

“See, I knew you wanted to fuck me,” he says.

“Did I ever deny it?” You bite back. He looks at you for a second almost shocked before he snaps out of it.

“Well it’ll happen one day,” he says a little sadly.

“Hmm, one day,” you nod.

“Okay it’s time to jerk off~” He sing songs, clapping his hands.

“You want me to touch myself dry? You gotta give me some material to work with,” you grumble.

“I mean just look at me,” he flexes his muscles.

“Okay well you’re fully clothed and I don’t think you’re necessarily up for removing them,” you say.

“You need me to expose an ankle or something. ‘Ooh I’m a baaad Victorian girl’” he says in a faux sexy voice, putting a finger on his lip and pretending to act coy, his leg stretched out dramatically to show off his right ankle.

“Oh yeah, that ankle has got me turned on beyond belief,” You laugh.

“No seriously, I’m gonna need to watch a video or something. I’m not exactly revved up right now,” you ignore the way he wiggles his ankle at you.

“Okay fucking Toyota calm down,” he says.

“Well-- maybe you start? It’ll give me some inspiration… hopefully,” you smirk.

“Not a problem, I’m so fuckin’ hard right now. Ugh your ankle and knees are out? You whore,” his eyes run over the expanse of your legs. You can’t help but flex your feet in response.

“Oh you’re hard at that? Well I can do so much better. Shit, I think if I flashed you, you’d fuckin cum in your pants,” you laugh.

“That’s a challenge I’m willing to bet on. I’d like to see you try,” he says, eyes half lidded. His hand sliding towards the bulge in his sleep pants.

“Yeah?” You breathe. Oh this was getting real. He silently nods, the palm of his hand rubbing at the fabric. He tips his head back to lean against the headboard, his eyes trained on your body. They flicker towards different parts quickly like he’s unsure where to look.

“Just fuck— take ‘em out,” he groans, his voice a little too desperate for his liking.

“You’re a sick fucking pervert,” you say but the demand certainly sounds intriguing. He’s touching himself as you’re fully clothed, how would he react if he saw something… new? He shudders at your words but you don’t seem to realize it. Maybe it’s just because he hasn’t jerked off in a long time or something.

“Yeah, yeah I’m a sick fuck,” he replies, trying to make it sound like a joke but there’s something there. A new tone you don’t recognize. It’s like you start to see Roman in a different light. Maybe you didn’t see him as a sexual person before but you’re definitely seeing it now, as his hips slowly tip to meet the palm of his hand. Shit why was this kind of hot? You’re definitely wet now, as you look at him, small whines in the back of his throat threatening to spill out. He keeps his mouth shut, embarrassed that he’s already worked up.

If he wants a show you’ll give him a fucking show, you bunch up your baggy sleep shirt. Your nipples perking at the cold air.

“Ooh fuck,” he moans, eyes trained on your chest. You decide to give him a show. If this was your only time doing this you had to make it memorable. Your hands slide up your ribs to cup your breasts, your thumb brushing over the taunt nipples.

“Ooh,” your breath hitches at the sensation, watching as his hand moves faster against his cock.

“Put it in,” you moan, eyes trained on his hand.

“What?” He chokes.

“Put your hand in there, you can’t just rub it all day. Touch yourself for real,” you say, eyes flicking up towards his. You notice the way his canines dig into his bottom lip. Fuck… your hand absentmindedly slides into your sleep shorts, your finger slowly circling your clit as you see him put his hand in his pajama pants. The fabric straining against his moving hand.

Maybe it’s time to try out your new theory. “Fuck, you’re disgusting Roman. Look at you” you groan, finger pressing into yourself. His eyes flick towards yours, he can tell he’s turning you on. You wish you could mean it though, the words come out all breathy as you slide your middle finger in and out. You wish you could say any of your next words with conviction but your breath hitches when you see his mouth hung agape, his eyes closing for a second before looking at you hungrily. His gaze trained on the movement of your shorts.

Fuck! There wasn’t enough space in them to reach your sweet spot so you quickly slide the fabric down your legs. You bend your knees to give him the perfect view of your finger sliding in and out in your cunt.

“Oh fuck” He moans, eyes almost staring holes through your flesh.

“God, you’d fucking love to watch me fuck myself with a dildo of your cock wouldn’t you? It the only way you’d ever fuck me. You’re a fucking sicko,” You whine the last part, your fingers relentlessly hitting the squishy part inside of you. Your other hand slithers around until it finds your clit, your fingers move quickly as you see Roman is close.

He’s practically fucking his hand, his mouth hung open, eyebrows furrowed.

“Ooh Fuck, yeah. I’d fuckin’ love it. W-want to see your face stretch around my… F-f-fuck!” He moans.

His head slamming backwards into the headboard with a loud thud but he’s too caught up in this. Jerking off was something but this? This was so much different. The air crackles with your attraction for one another. You’d felt attracted to Roman in your weak moments sure but now, now you felt like you just opened a can of worms. Like crossing this line is going to make you crave more of him.

“You’re close aren’t you? One look at me touching myself and you’re cumming in your pants like a fucking virgin,” You taunt, but your words have no real bite. It doesn't matter how harshly you say it, you want this. Want to see him ruin his expensive sleep pants, watch the way his eyes roll back and how his teeth will rip his lip open.

“F-fuck M’close,” He slurs, his eyes half-closed but he keeps them open. He wants to keep this memory burned into his brain. He never wants to forget the sounds you make and the way your legs slightly shake as you circle your clit.

“Shiiit me too. Let me see you cum,” You say, your voice higher pitched than normal as you try and stave off your release. Your eyes flutter, threatening to close shut but you force them open. You weren’t losing this experience. It’s almost like the aurora borealis but much more rare and a lot prettier.

“Oh f-Uck,” He whines, his hips bucking wildly against his hand. Until you see them stutter, his canines digging into his bottom lip to try and keep himself quiet, his chest heaves, stomach twitching violently at the feeling of this new release.

“Fuuuuuuck,” He groans, his cock twitching in his hand as the spurts of cum paint the inside of his boxers. The sticky mess seeping into the fabric of his pajama pants. He finally lets his cock go, taking his hand out from the waistband. You can see the glistening of his cum coating his hand as you work yourself faster.

“Shi-it,” you shiver, the heat in your stomach building and building. It feels like you’re an old house caught on fire, your whole body sweating, your legs starting to tremble as you maintain eye contact with Roman.

“Let me taste it,” You grunt, in between moans.

“W-what?” Roman says confused. His mind is still on cloud nine as he licks away the drops of blood on his lip.

“Roman I swear to fucking God I will fucking–” You can’t think of a decent insult, your mind turning to mush as you watch him carefully but enthusiastically crawl over to you. He smears his cum on your lips, his fingers prodding at the seam of your mouth until you relent. You eagerly lick at his hand, the fire builds more, the foundation of the house collapsing as you swirl your tongue around his fingers.

“Ooh,” He shivers, his voice lower than normal as he moves his fingers in and out of your mouth. The cadence in his voice pushes you over the edge. Your entire body tenses up for a second before everything releases. You moan around his fingers, accidentally biting down on the flesh as your eyes roll backward. Roman watches you, you almost look possessed as you whine around his fingers, your body going completely limp.

“C-can I?” You hear Roman ask but you aren’t really listening, not that you’d expect it anyway. Roman was one to take and never to ask. You languidly nod your head, the heat of Roman’s thighs pressing into the side of your leg is the only thing keeping you grounded.

That is until you feel him remove his hand from your mouth. His saliva coated fingers wrapping around your wrist as he uses your sticky fingers to dip into your cunt like a dunkaroo and scoop your cum, your eyes widen at the intrusion and boldness of it all. He brings your fingers to his mouth, the sharpness of his canines brushing the pads of your fingers as he cleans your fingers off.

“Oh f-fuck, Rome,” You moan, your eyes barely open watching him commit this obscene act. He knew about your weakness, he noticed the way you stared at him with that far away look when he bit into his thumb.

Your thighs still twitch in the aftershocks of your intense moment. Your fingers are long clean but the tips of his teeth press into your fingers before he lets your wrist fall. He retreats back to his corner of the bed. You lower your shirt back down over your chest and slide on your underwear leaving your shorts lost somewhere in the sheets. You sigh as you lean your head back into the mound of pillows.

“So was it as hideous as you thought? Worse than a mangled up ball of rotting flesh?” You joke with a twinkle in your eyes as you look at him.

“Oh definitely fucking worse, I had to stop myself from gagging it was so disgusting,” He says, a small smile on his lips and something different in his eyes. You can’t pinpoint it but something has changed.

“You know, your ankle had me a lot more aroused than I was expecting,” You laugh.

“Yeah? I got better ankles than a fucking marathon runner. I could put those victorian whores to shame… really fuck up their business,” He says sinking into the sheets.

“Oh yeah? How much would you charge?” You ask, staring up at the ceiling. What the fuck was your life?

“I don’t know, like five grand at the minimum. I only want the rich fucks looking at my ankles especially if I’m gonna have to look at old men jerk off” He says, dramatically shuddering in disgust.

“...I’ve got five grand, when's your next available appointment?” You ask looking back at him. His eyes meet yours.

“Yeah?” He asks, seeming to speak without actually speaking about it, a big grin on his face.

“I’m good for the money,” You say, a small smile on your lips. You both lay there in silence, what you just did hanging in the air. Roman somehow feels lighter. Sure he’d still have difficult days, days where he can’t stand to look down at his body or days when you hold him while you sleep and he silently cries but he had this. He was capable of some sort of intimate relationship even if it was unconventional.

You grab a pillow and crawl over to your side of the bed and lie down.

“Roman?” You whisper, a little afraid of pissing him off especially after all this.

“Hmm? Need another look at my ankles, this one’s gonna cost you double,” He says, lazily turning his head to look at you.

“Only if you throw in a free elbow,” You smile, cuddling into your pillow.

“That can be arranged, which one though?” He asks, placing his hands underneath his head as he mimics your position.

Your eyes flick to his already exposed elbows, “Right, definitely the right.”

“Sure, I’ll throw it in only because you’ve been a loyal customer,” He says, hazel eyes searching through yours.

“I’ll continue to be loyal,” You try to reassure him. He doesn’t say anything, no smart quip, just an ever so slight nod as he closes his eyes. You can't help but stare at his face, at the slight stubble, the freckles painted onto the bridge of his nose.

“Stop staring or I’m gonna have to charge you by the second,” He says, his eyes still closed.

“That’s okay, my boyfriend is a billionaire,” You whisper, scooting closer to him.

“Boyfriend?” He whispers like the word is foreign. Your fingertips brush his hair out of his face. Everything was okay, you were both okay. He was your Victorian whore and you were all too willing to pay his hefty price.

#roman roy #succession #succession roman #succession hbo #roman roy x reader #roman roy imagine #succession spoilers #roman roy / reader #roman roy smut #roman roy x female reader #roman roy fic #no dynamics #romulus roy #smut #slight fluff

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contentloadingandstuff · 11 months

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So about the parenting headcanons 👉👈 between miko, ei, and sara who do you think has it worse with experiencing pregnancies and who uses being pregnant to guilt you into doing stuff (ie waking you up at 3 in the morning to get you to make the food, get you rub their feet, or hold their belly)

Hello Anon! Since I didn't know what format to put this answer in, I'll just give you my honest, direct thoughts.

Who milks the pregnancy, you ask? I think the answer is obvious.

Ah, so many opportunities, so many excuses! There is no way Yae Miko will resist the urge to act on them. Morning sickness? Perfect excuse to stay at home. Who will dare and try to downplay the Guuji's suffering anyway? Swollen, aching feet or hurting thighs? She'll lay down and call for you to do your husband's duty and give her a good massage. Feeling down? Get in the bed right now and cuddle her. You wouldn't want your wife to suffer in loneliness, right? Another plus of the situation is being showered in attention, affection and gifts. The people really want to get on Miko's good side, so they will give her plenty of interest and small, or not so small, material things. Silks, clothes and other baby utilities are piling up, much to her satisfaction.

While Miko is having more or less the time of her life, Sara is struggling. The limited mobility forced her to quit work quite soon, even before the second trimester. It's not like she can stay upright for long without feeling faint anyway. Her nausea and occasional vomiting confined her to your house and the surrounding areas. Sara would rather not show her weakness to the public. Oftentimes she feels like a burden. She often feels disgust when seeing all the body changes occurring within her. The causes of the pressure on her insides is what she's most ashamed of. For a long time she's been hiding her soaked underwear, choosing to wash it herself so you wouldn't find out. She doesn't want to bother you, and even sees sleeping with her as some sort of a chore. Please, please tell her that it doesn't weigh you down. Tell her that she's strong and all of what she is experiencing is natural, and more a proof of her strength than of weakness. She knows that all the struggle will be worth it in the end, but… don't leave her facing this alone.

Ei is in the sweet middle ground. She sees her perinatal motherhood as a test of her own might and resolve. The Archon chose to introduce the child into the world the human way. She understood all the consequences of her decision, and her will didn't waver since. Most of time is spent either inside the Plane of Euthymia, where she focuses on the feelings accompanying her child and, in later stages, it's very life, or outside in the palace by your side. Overall, she treats the nine months as a very private, individual experience for only the two of you, and takes all the struggles of it extremely well.

Thanks for reading!

#genshin impact #genshin #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin x male reader #genshin impact x male reader #fluff #genshin impact fluff #genshin fluff #kujou sara x reader #kujou sara x male reader #ei x reader #ei x male reader #yae miko x male reader #yae miko x reader #ei fluff #yae miko fluff #kujou sara fluff

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pomplalamoose · 5 months

Text

DILF Luke headcanons / story draft pt. 4

🌿modern day AU🌿

A/N: you know, I actually have a collection of ideas and notes I keep wanting to integrate into my Dilf Luke posts and yet I completely ignored it AGAIN in order to go off the rails with something else (this has been going on for several posts) anywaysssss I hope you have fun, mwuah <33

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 5

• as it turns out Luke isn't as unaffected by the night you spent together as he unintentionally makes you believe

• and how could he ever be?

• he might be able to pretend like nothing happened but inwardly has to deal with a lot of conflicting feelings

• first and foremost he's afraid he scared you away with his intense behavior and stern orders, his loud voice and the demand you stay with him

• after all you haven't been over to visit his child ever since, maybe you fear to be around him?

• he could never judge you for it either, you, who always are so gentle and timid around him

• he simply overdid it this time, overstepped a line and it's in your right to act accordingly

• thinking back on it now he's only able to shake his head at himself and at the way he treated you

• in the heat of the moment it all seemed so strangely justified, every action he took only with your best interest and well being in mind

• but since a little time has passed he sees that a calmer, more conventional approach probably wouldn't have you avoiding him presently

• left to his own devices he's helplessly replaying how he dragged you into the bathroom and made you strip in front of him, even intervening by ripping off your clothes himself when you took too long for his liking

• he completely disregarded how you might have felt in the moment, that quite possibly you did not want to undress in front of your best friend's father

• let alone be undressed by him

• it would've been better to drive you home afterwards too, what went on in his mind to deny you?

• you are an adult, he doesn't own you, who did he think he was to forbid you from leaving?

• Luke doesn't know, of course, that the complete opposite is the case

• you very much wish for him to acknowledge his actions that night

• and neither are you actively avoiding him, your friend is making you stay away for research purposes

• "let him stew for a while", they said, "and we'll see how long it takes him to ask for your whereabouts again"

• your friend still isn't exactly thrilled about the situation, but it definitely piqued their interest

• they want to know what's going on

• why is their father playing hot and cold with you?

• they are not amused he's towing you along like this, they really expected better from him

• meanwhile Luke is doing his best to deny that, if he'd listen closely to himself, he'd have to admit what else upsets him so badly

• to him, even worse than his brashness is the secret knowledge that he enjoyed himself

• very much

• finally, he felt, could he rake control, do what needed to be done

• and you followed him so nicely too, looking at him for guidance, never questioning, never contradicting anything he said

• your blind, even naive obedience touched him deeply

• he felt so needed

• oh and the way you looked at him; if he had a say you'd never be allowed to look at any other man ever again

• he wishes for your eyes to be only on him

• only for him

• but to confront all of this would also mean confessing to himself how he, in turn, looks at you

• how he thinks of you

• the feeling isn't unknown, nothing new, but still comes as a surprise after all this time

• so he's not ready yet to admit how much he wants you all to himself

• and how could he?

• you're his child's best friend, it's not his place to swoop in and take you away

• he knows how much you mean to them

• and yet he can't help himself despite how ashamed he is

• again and again he touches himself to the thought of you

• to all the things he could do to you and make you do in return

• the thoughts come so easily and just won't stop, never leaving him alone

• would you follow his orders as eagerly as you did so far?

• or would you take on a different approach, maybe turn into a little brat?

• someone he'd need to teach a lesson to first?

• of course for that you'd need to learn how to be less shy in his vicinity first, could he make that work?

• mmh, he's not sure how he likes you better anyways

• maybe you'd be open for a little game?

• though no matter in which direction his imagination takes him, always it returns to the picture you made on the floor in front of him, tears running over your soft cheeks, a pleading look in your eyes

• he could do without the tears, but, truth to be told, you are remarkably pretty when you cry

• so they stay and all that changes are your surroundings

• he wants you to be comfortable of course, you're not supposed to shiver in the cold or sit on hard stone floor

• you'd be much better off kneeling on a nice cushion in the living room, or on the plush carpet in his office

• meanwhile his child is watching him like a hawk, intentionally not bringing you up in conversation even once

• sooner or later he just HAS to do something, mention something, ask even the littlest of questions

• so their theory, at least

• and they are right, they know their father well after all

• Luke folds after not even two weeks to comment on your prolonged absence from their house

• he's so busy playing it cool he doesn't realize the way his kid can barely suppress a giggle

• "and what did you say???", you immediately want to know when they tell you about it the next day

• "nothing", says your friend and laughs at your face "I want him going wild"

• a few days later he asks whether you fell ill after getting caught in the storm

• like seriously, is everything okay?

• don't they want to go check on you, make sure nothing's wrong?

• are you struggling mentally again?

• did you guys have a falling out?

• are you on vacation?

• your friend keeps a successful poker face through it all, again and again telling him in a noncholant way how busy you are

• and why is he asking about you so much anyways?

• it's not like you're coming over to visit HIM...right?

• Luke retreats at that immediately and it takes him a while to come out of his shell again

• though only barely does he keep himself from grabbing and shaking the answers out of his child

• "he's sooooo dramatic" your friend tells you "one could think he's a teenager with how he's acting"

• soon they start contemplating and scheming on what they could say about you to unsettle him a bit

• at this point you beg them to stop interfering, to stop putting themselves between the fronts like this

• it's okay, you assure them, you can let their father go

• but they're not having it

• this isn't about playing matchmaker

• you are their friend and they'll make sure you're getting treated right even if they have to go up against their dad for it

• he's a grown man and he needs to start acting like it!

• your protests fall on deaf ears

• "No, you listen to ME. I refuse to stand by and watch while my dad is playing hard to get. He's either going to tell you to your face he's not interested or, if that's the case, admit he feels drawn to you! He didn't have a problem with that all the many other times it happened."

• you can't deny they have a point and since they know him better than you do, what else is there left to say?

• the next you hear of them is when you receive a quick text with no context whatsoever

• "listen I think I overdid it a little bit"

• you blankly blink at your phone, no idea what's going on, though you have the sinking feeling it's somehow related to their father

• the next messages is just as unnerving but proves you right

• "yeah uhhh sorry about that but he's coming to pick you up"

• "no way", is your immediate thought just before you get a call that makes you nearly drop your phone

• of course it's Luke, of course

• where did he get your number?

• and what in the hell did your friend tell him?

• you pick up and before you can even finish saying hello he demands to know where you are

• judging by the sounds in the background he's already in the car and most definitely not in a good mood

• accordingly quick comes your answer and your heart unclenches with relief when his voice somewhat softens

• "be a good girl and wait for me outside then"

• you're so caught off guard it takes you a while to pack your things and search for your jacket and when you step out into the cold he's already waiting for you, leaning against his car

• judging by the way he's dressed he's either coming straight from work or originally planned to go there before God knows what made him change his plans

• he doesn't look amused and as your heart speeds up so do your steps

• so eager to make up for the time lost, you nearly bumb into him as you struggle to come to a stop before him

• if he's annoyed he doesn't show it and nevertheless opens the passenger side's door for you, waiting patiently for you to climb in

• you're horribly embarrassed when you spot your reflection in the rearview mirror

• your hair is tousled beyond repair, your cheeks a flaming red from running

• desperately holding on to your bag like it's an anchor you watch as he slides in beside you

• but instead of starting the motor and driving off, he turns to properly look at you, his right hand holding on to your head rest

• you swear you can feel yourself shrinking into the seat as his eyes bore into yours

• shyly you greet him

• you don't know what else to do

• a brief smile flits across his face before it grows stern again

• "who is it?"

• "just tell me and I'll take care of it"

• to say you're confused would be an understatement but as he continues, it slowly dawns on you

• your friend made up a toxic relationship for you to be in

• and their father is furious

#luke skywalker #luke skywalker x reader #luke skywalker x you #dilf luke #dilf luke skywalker #luke star wars #star wars #star wars fanfiction #star wars headcanons #luke skywalker fanfiction #star wars a new hope #star wars empire strikes back #star wars return of the jedi #fanfic #luke headcanons #headcanons

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proudfreakmetarusonniku · 5 months

Text

Something I love about Exile Arc is that it focuses heavily on emotional abuse as the most harrowing aspect of c!Tommy's experience.

Like, yes, the physical torture (both c!Tommy and c!Dream have referred to it as such) started pretty much immediately. c!Dream was always very physically abusive, frequently striking c!Tommy with weapons while he was defenceless and eventually hitting him to the point he didn’t react. And that’s horrific on its own, obviously, but what Exile really focuses on is the emotional and psychological harm done, and the escalating abuse there.

It starts off with c!Dream belittling c!Tommy's feelings and thoughts, and isolating him for large periods of time. As he visits Exile more- something he occasionally didn’t do early on- he started lovebombing c!Tommy heavily, something he did to a degree beforehand with gifts but would start doing emotionally. He began manipulating him to gain his trust, presenting the absence of abuse as proof of kindness and leading him to see himself as uniquely bad, then making him feel special by portraying himself as a saviour and a trustworthy adult figure who was there to help. He began gaslighting c!Tommy about serious events, like Mexican Dream's death, and would increasingly make c!Tommy out to be the offending party and himself the victim, making c!Tommy feel guilty and wrong and ashamed, like he was the toxic party in the situation. He intentionally isolated him, lying to him and others to deliberately lead people away from Logstedshire and to keep c!Tommy unwilling to accept any help when someone did show up. Whenever anyone did while c!Dream was around, he'd worsen his abuse and drag the other person into it without their knowledge, leading c!Tommy to associate visits from anyone but c!Dream with humiliation and pain. On that note, c!Dream was very much deliberately setting rules and organising things to make c!Tommy feel humiliated and ashamed of himself, like it was embarrassing to be the victim of abuse- with infantilising and dehumanising rules, c!Tommy was treated very much like the child he hated to be seen as. It left c!Tommy desperate for any sort of validation, which c!Dream provided by making himself out to be a martyr who was the only one who cared, and he'd lovebomb c!Tommy even further when he fell into that dependence, encouraging c!Tommy to- as c!Tommy describes it himself- lack free will and become a toy, puppet, and/or pet.

Emotional abuse is often downplayed, but it's one of the most damaging forms of abuse out there. It’s insidious, and the effects of it often never go away. Many abuse survivors consider emotional abuse to be the most traumatic parts of their experience due to this, but it’s so rarely depicted as such in media. Physical and sexual abuse are considered worse or more serious than emotional abuse (and even then they’re not treated with respect a lot of the time!), when it’s far more complicated and nuanced than that with each of them causing different but deeply damaging trauma. It’s genuinely very cathartic to see a depiction of abuse that really focuses on the psychological elements, along with other stuff that’s generally not covered by media as much (such as c!Tommy not being anywhere close to a perfect victim yet still being portrayed entirely as a victim who didn’t deserve his abuse at all, or the complex feelings towards his abuse he has), and it helped me process a lot of what personally happened to me. It might be a little fantastical in some areas, but in others it’s so realistic in ways I’ve never even seen before, and I think that’s awesome.

#dream smp #Exile arc #primeboys (derogatory)#abuse tw #Dsmp analysis

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starry-blue-echoes · 6 months

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Thonking about StarSwap again -

The scene where Jonathan attacks Dio full force after he assaults Erina is probably going to end up going pretty differently - Jolyne is going to fight dirty, and be absolutely vicious in a way Jonathan could never manage.

Dio burned Danny alive in retaliation for Jonathan managing to successfully beat the shit out of him and scare him - what might he do in response to Jolyne's cunning and aggression?

holy fuck wait a minute yeah-

While the nature of the relationship likely wouldn't be the same as it would be in canon (after all, Erina would be like. 12/13 years old and Jolyne is 19), she still would've seen Erina as a very close friend. I don't doubt that Jolyne would still step in when those two other kids were bullying her, albeit unlike Jonathan her reasoning wouldn't be anything chivialry related. Hell, with the help of Stone Free, Jolyne might even be able to win that fight

Erina would still seek her out afterward, and while Jolyne wouldn't reciprocate the romantic feelings the other girl had...... well, Jolyne's pretty lonely. Sure there's Danny, but he is a dog, and Erina's kind and sweet and nice to hang around, and open minded enough that I think she'd be okay with Jolyne asking if they could be just friends

but of course, this is the 1880s in England, and naturally most people assume the pair to be romantically involved, especially given how close they are

Dio being one of them

you're absolutely right in how Jolyne is going to be brutal. Words can not properly express how overwhelmingly pissed she is going to be about all this, and what makes things worse for Dio is how no matter what he does, Jolyne just won't go down. Despite how much he punches and kicks, all his attacks seem either magically miss or just bounce right off (ofc, this is thanks to Stone Free), so Jolyne gets hardly a scratch on her. Hell, she's probably not even going to stop when George arrives, no matter what he says or what punishments he threatens to inflict.

now, do the both of these things make it easier for Dio to spin the story in his favor? Admittedly yes. I'd imagine she tries to tell George about what happened, about what Dio did, only to get brushed off because in his eyes Jolyne was the instigator here who beat poor, poor Dio near to death over some girl

I'd imagine after this incident, the shakey bond Jolyne might've had with George snapped completely

as for Danny........

Dio would probably still kill him. Sort of as a last ditch effort, a final attempt at getting some kind of control over the situation to remind Jojo of his place and what happens if he were to cross Dio

it backfires horribly

because before, Jolyne might've forgiven him. It would have taken YEARS and a lot of growth, but Jolyne is not blind to the environment and time they live in, where women are barely more than pretty objects and Dio has been given almost free reign as a noble's new adopted son. Before, she might've been able to forgive him because Dio was barely 12 and still a child and had likely learned a lot of things that weren't good. It could have been a mistake, one that someday he could look back at and be ashamed of

but then he kills Danny. He kills Danny by locking him in the incinerator and burning him alive

and Jolyne realizes he's doing this on purpose. That this wasn't just plain jealously, this was Dio actively doing everything in his power to make sure Jolyne would hurt

He's still 12. He's still a child.

But Jolyne will not take this lying down and she vows to herself she will never be his friend

(one night when she's alone, Jolyne feels the briefest bit of relief that she's here in this body. Just for a moment, just for a second, if only so the kindhearted 12 year old Jonathan who's messy journals sit on the bookcase didn't have to face Dio by himself)

#OUGH this hit me with so much brainrot all of a sudden #starswap my beloved <3333 #star swap #jjba #jojo’s bizarre adventure #phantom blood #jjba part 1 #jjba jolyne #jolyne kujo #jjba erina #erina pendleton #jjba dio #dio brando #jjba george #george joestar #sb answers #dragoninthelabratory

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trillscienceofficer · 11 months

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I feel like apart from what you said about B'elanna being interested in men only under some dubious consent scenario, whatever she had going in previously to Voyager and being in DQ was trying to be as normal as possible for her father's validation, whether she realized she was doing it or not. And besides, she only ever had a good relationship with people who didn't seem to ever be a possible partner for whatever reason. She's very lesbian coded to me for that.

(In reference to this post)

Man, you're so right. B'Elanna doing things with the perspective of pleasing (the imaginary perfect version that can do no wrong of) her father is a really good observation here. Her stint at Starfleet Academy comes to mind (John Torres was supposed to be a Starfleet officer, according to a deleted line from “Barge of the Dead”), but it's definitely not the only example of this tendency. So much of B'Elanna's life is conditioned by what she thinks he would do, even if I don't think she realizes it (she only starts having dreams of her childhood after discovering that she's pregnant etc); in a way B'Elanna has always been trying to recreate a version of her family where through her hard work and determination things won't end the way they did for her and her mother. I totally agree that her sticking with Tom for so long, despite his behavior and despite so many examples of their early attraction being due to alien crap and/or that declaration of love extracted in a near-death situation, is a symptom of that abandonment trauma as well. I think this is true even outside of a lesbian B'Elanna reading, but it certainly adds some weight to the argument as well. I mean, I know that "lesbian with daddy issues" (hate the term) is kind of a cliché but then again it's not like this was in any way intentional, and as I mentioned reading B'Elanna as a lesbian makes everything that happens to her on Voyager even more brutally heartwrenching.

And you're again right about her choice of potential partners, even the fact that she and Tom started flirting a little when they already disagreed on a lot... can be very easily read as 'I find this guy irritating so I must be secretly attracted to him' which, well. I know from personal experience it's one hell of a mind-trick for closeted lesbians. Her supposedly 'Klingon' attitude towards romance is very significant here imho. Why would B'Elanna lean into her Klingon cultural roots in just this one case, when more often than not she's ashamed of them (and I'm not saying this shame is 'good' by any means), if not because it gives her the perfect excuse to realign her feelings with heterosexual expectations?

Truly the more I look at it the more I can read reluctance and coercion and trauma in B'Elanna when it comes to her sexual relationship with men in general and Tom in particular. There's nothing intentional here of course (just the usual trouble Trek has with answering the question 'are women people?', compounded with and made worse by racism in B'Elanna's case) but the show lends itself well for a lesbian B'Elanna interpretation. And again, the thought that she might be a lesbian... makes all that happened to her on Voyager even more transparently horrifying.

#b'elanna torres #voy #askbox #voyager is straight-up a horror scenario for lesbian!b'elanna........#there's also an addition to this see reblogs

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gale-gentlepenguin · 2 months

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Tell me more about your feelings on Hazbin Hotel.

Part of me doesn’t want to answer this question, because of how popular this show is on Tumblr.

And I know that people will be like.

“What do you know, you’re a Christian, of Course you’d have some problems with it.”

Yes, I am going to disclose that. I am a Christian. Not ashamed of that. Still working to be a better one. But I can be objective enough to view it as a writer, and that at most my personal bias will only be a slight enhancement of my view.

And these are my unfiltered thoughts on this show.

But for my opinion of Hazbin hotel. The original Pilot was interesting. A place trying to reform sinners in the last place people would think to be reformed. (Spoilers ahead)

That pilot premise is interesting. You see Hell as a cesspool of the absolute worse people. (Like Los Angeles but with more cannibalism) and it takes the “Hell is other people approach”

The songs were fine, the animation was great, and the characters introduced were intriguing. So much potential depth to them, theories can speculate. And of course the big question of. “Can someone in hell actually be redeemed?” And we even have a character pointing out “of course not, they’re in hell. Their chance was before this?”

It raised this question of, if you know your doomed, why try to be a good person? And That is fascinating.

Then the show finally airs. And it’s just another “Heaven is corrupt” storyline. And it’s not even done well.

(The whole retelling of creation made my eyes roll. Trying to make Lucifer to be the good guy? How original (sarcasm). And not even done well. Because it’s Charlie narrating this, which makes it be like Charlie knows all this and is doing all of this pointlessly)

Hells gonna rise up against it and all that. The hotel was basically pointless.

The show goes on to constantly contradict itself at numerous points that leaves me more confused.

Yes there is an interesting character (Alastor) but outside of a great soundtrack and animation… the writing of the show is a mess.

It feels both rushed and too slow. The characters are speedrunning their arcs, yet the plot is crawling.

Let’s then not forget the fact that Angel power and weapons are said to be the only thing that Perma kills sinners and angels. Yet sir pretentious dies and instead of permadead, goes to heaven? What fucking logic is that?

Also it says how only Angel weapons and powers can hurt angels (they make a whole point about it) only to show Vaggie and Lute have a whole ass fight hurting eachother with tables and s***. Unless they’ve been blessed them chairs…

Also where do the souls that perma die go? Detroit? Because if Sir pretentious can go to heaven after dying, what the deal with all this? Is Hell actually hell? Seems more like purgatory.

And then you include the helluva boss lore as they take place in the same universe. And MORE questions get added.

But that’s a can of worms for another time.

More importantly, Charlie, the main character hardly gets any development moments. Her issues are TOLD not showed.

Vaggie is also a mess too, like her whole thing is protecting Charlie, and helping her. But then she gets told that she has to fight For Love and that’s how to win? You mean what she’s BEEN DOING THE WHOLE TIME?!

All the stuff with Angel Dust, the writing for that is fine when showing the messed up situation he’s in, but then after the Song “Loser, Baby” he’s suddenly months sober? Speedrunning a bit too much.

Side note: HOW DOES HEAVEN NOT KNOW HOW PEOPLE GET INTO HEAVEN?!

Like they genuinely seem like they don’t know? From my understanding, there is no Big Man making all the calls. Thats not corruption. Thats incompetence.

So if it’s just angels in charge, THEY should know. Like show that they’re tilting the scale or maybe denying certain people that DO follow the criteria. Because with the incompetency of it, it basically leaves the door open for potentially EVERYONE to get into heaven.

Yet then the show shows how awful people in hell are, like it’s clear there are people that deserve hell. Maybe I’m overthinking it, maybe I’m not thinking about it enough. But it’s a really dumb system.

But the biggest glaring hole in this show is the fact that there is no point for heaven to actually do the purge in the first place.

Hell being overpopulated shouldn’t matter. Only Angel power and weapons can actually hurt angels. Why would they worry about an uprising. Heaven could easily wipe hell. The only people that could probably do damage is Lucifer and the leaders of the rings of hell. And even then… That’s like 7 against ALL OF HEAVEN!? Even if we assume overlords and some high level demons could do similar… Heaven still takes it. (But then again the Lute and Vaggie fight might contradict that. Hard to say it’s so confusing)

That all aside, is it an awful show? No. It’s just so riddled with plotholes and pacing issues.

Would I recommend this show to people? No.

Would I recommend the sound track? Probably, the songs are catchy. Can’t deny that.

Everyone has their own opinions and tastes, but the show has too much of a mess for me.

#Gale’s thoughts #hazbin hotel #hazbin spoilers #now everyone if you can grab your pitchforks and touches #line up in a straight line. you can complain about my opinion

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i-write-sometimes-maybe · 1 year

Text

Aliferous- Lady Lesso x NeverTeacherFemReader!

Aliferous: Having wings; Winged.

Synopsis: You have some difficulty hiding your pain after a while, and to your dismay it doesn’t go unnoticed. Lady Lesso comes to you to find out more about the situation, and finds out more about you than she thought possible. Lesso comforts you through the pain.

Warnings: (none?) Implications of feelings for one another

Word Count: 3.1k

A/n: This is my first work posted on Tumblr! I hope you guys enjoy it! I usually post onto AO3 but when I had read all the work for Lady Lesso on AO3, I started reading on Tumblr. I loved this community and I decided that I’d post my work here too! Also, I can't even tell you guys how long this was in the works. Reblogs, likes, and comments are all welcomed!

☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎

Lesso had heard enough, the last two students walking passed her made her realize it, in fact, was of her concern.

She had heard some whispers about something being off with you, about how you were clearly in pain or uncomfortable. She wasn't too bothered by the murmurs, you can take care of yourself and have proven it, so when she heard the students near worries about you, she just brushed it off.

Until it got to be quite a few students talking about it. She knew something was off if multiple students not only noticed it but were discussing it.

That's what led her on her current mission. Your classroom. You taught Villain Talents, fitting for you for various reasons.

You were the daughter of Maleficent, yes the Maleficent. You inherited her stunning and nefarious powers, as well as having a pair of magnificent wings like hers. Of course, they were no match to hers, but they still had a nearly seven-foot span with shiny charcoal feathers, elegantly finished with horns at the top of them. They were a near duplicate of your mother's.

And they were the cause of your current predicament.

You've kept them hidden from the moment you arrived at the School for Good and Evil. You weren't ashamed of them, in fact, you were quite proud of them, but you needed to protect them.

You weren't risking a damn thing after what happened with your mother, you trusted no one but yourself with your wings.

Keeping them hidden for so long had caused them to strain, the lack of use and minuscule stretching only making it worse. You could handle pain relatively well, you were a Never after all, but this was an entirely different pain. It was both internal and external, becoming quickly overwhelming. Not to mention it was constant and lasted, up to this point, every day.

You tried your best to keep it within you, not showing just how much pain you were truly in but you also tried to not succumb to it. Not until you absolutely have to.

Now, you were sitting at your desk and staring in the direction of nothing while your students were doing some work, but you didn't care about what they were (or likely weren't) doing. You tried thinking of anything and everything but the pain you were in.

You were pulled from your thoughts as your classroom door swiftly opened, slamming loudly against the stone wall. Upon seeing who it was, you straightened yourself. You certainly didn't want the Dean of Evil to catch you in a time of weakness. You just barely hid your wince at the straightening of your spine.

"Lady Lesso, to what do I owe the pleasure?" You watched as she stalked toward your desk.

With one look, you knew she saw right through you. You had no idea why, but she was able to, the only one that was ever able to. That helped contribute to you having a certain attraction toward the Dean, amongst a plethora of other things as well, but you never showed it.

"I have heard a few things from students and I came to check the credibility of such things." Her tone was nothing short of its usual fierceness and dominance, but it was a level quieter.

"I'm not quite sure I know what you mean." You didn't falter, even as she approached your side.

That was one of the things the Dean was fond of about you, you never faltered in her presence. It was the first thing she noticed about you, the fear she usually saw in people's eyes when they saw her, it was never present in yours.

"There is something going on. What is it." She didn't ask but demanded.

You thought about it for a split second. Were you truly about to do this? Yes. It was becoming too much for you to handle.

"Everyone out! Now!" You snapped as you dismissed the students, your eyes only straying from Lesso in the moment it took for you to dismiss everyone.

They wasted no time rushing out of the room, hardly caring about grabbing their things. You knew what was about to take place and you certainly didn't want more witnesses than needed.

"What is going on?" Lesso's tone shifted to concern, her face softening.

She'd never admit that she had a soft spot for you, but she did. She adored watching you teach, seeing the same passion for teaching and evil as she has. She took to you quite quickly, whether or not she noticed it.

You stood from your desk, leaving her question unanswered as you circled to the front and pulled off your blazer. You were only able to look at her for another second before you allowed your face to contort freely. You pulled off your undervest next.

"What are you doing?" Lesso's question changed as she saw you unbuttoning your white blouse.

It was the last thing standing between you and stretching your wings. And you'd be damned if anything was going to stop you now, let alone having Lesso seeing you slightly exposed. Showing your wings is the most exposed you can get.

You didn't notice Lesso looking at you in shock, and trying to not make her gawking obvious, from the pain being almost too much to concentrate on anything but it.

"You just have to trust me," You practically ripped off your blouse and threw it to the ground, standing in front of the Dean in just your bra.

She stayed unmoving and silent so you continued, "Promise me you won't run or freak out?" You all but begged, your voice coming out just shy of a whimper, not only from the pain but also fear she'd find you disgusting.

"There's no way I-"

You interrupted her with the expansion of your wings, a shadow casting over your desk as well as Lesso seeing that she hadn't moved from her spot beside your chair. You nearly cried out when they stretched to their full expansion, falling onto your knees in front of your desk.

Lesso was cemented into her place from confusion, not knowing of your wings, but only for a moment before she became mesmerized. She couldn't help but think your wings were magnificent.

You braced yourself on your desk, resting your forehead on your arms, and your wings twitched as you released a sigh. You didn't realize your breathing had sped up until you spoke.

"I couldn't contain them any longer." Your wings fluttered, creating a breeze in the room that blew a stray strand of hair out of the Dean's face.

"They're beautiful,"

Your head snapped to Lesso, "What?" You never heard anyone refer to them like that.

You could see the intrigue in her eyes as they wandered across every part of your wings, the many curiosities swirling within her.

"They're beautiful. Why do you hide them?"

"Because no one has ever seen my wings and thought of beauty. It wasn't just fear when they looked at me, it was disgust. So I hid them, to protect them."

You began flexing your wings, trying to get them used to the movement again. You did your best to hide your groans and looks of discomfort but you knew you weren't successful. Yeah, they were out in your quarters but that doesn't do much, not like fully extending them.

You finally managed to calm yourself, standing once again, you pulled your wings back to their relaxed state. You could hardly believe you just broke down like that, let alone in front of The Dean of Evil.

"Can I- can I touch them?" You saw her fingers twitch at her question.

You looked at her curiously, wondering why she would possibly want to touch them, but ultimately allowed it. You slightly turned so she could see them better, extending them out just a little more.

Your wing flinched away from her light touch on instinct, and slight pain, the feeling being entirely foreign to you. You didn't have to be looking to know her hand flinched away from you in response.

A part of you still wanted to fulfill her request, "Sorry, you can still feel them if you'd like."

It was a strange sensation, feeling a caressing hand on your wings, but at the same time, it was nice. A sigh came from your lips as her fingertips brushed the length of your right wing.

"Does it hurt to keep them hidden?" Lesso was being uncharacteristically kind, but it was a welcomed part of her.

"Usually, not really. But when you keep them hidden and unused for as long as I have, eventually they will."

"Why didn't you say anything to professor Dovey or me?" You turned back to face her.

"I won't risk losing them. My mother had hers brutally taken from her, I don't want that. Of course, she did end up getting them back, but that's not the point-"

Her curiosity was clear when she interrupted your sentence, "Why'd you allow me to see them then?"

"Because, Lady Lesso-"

"Leonora, you can call me Leonora."

A smile came to your face, "Because, Leonora, there's something about you. And I don't know what it is but I feel as if I can trust you with anything."

Leonora tried to ignore the goosebumps that arose on her skin when you spoke her name. She paused for a moment as if contemplating her next move or what to say without the risk of saying the wrong thing.

An unfamiliar look momentarily flashed on her face, "I'll ensure you won't regret it."

"Showing you my wings?"

"Trusting me."

"Oh, my dear, there's no way I could regret trusting you."

She tried hiding her blush at the pet name, trying to remain unaffected she raised a brow, "You seem sure of that."

Truthfully, you were partially afraid, but not of losing your trust in her. You knew long before this that she was the exception to most of your fears, but in turn, she created a new one. You weren't particularly close with Lesso but you knew you didn't want to lose her, and you didn't want to risk doing anything that would cause her to push you away. That's the exact reason why your desires to know more about her, to be with her, were left unvoiced.

"It's because I am." You playfully winked at her, catching on to slight reactions that she tried to ignore herself.

It took you a moment of silence, a comforting silence that was shared between you two, before realizing the exact situation you were in.

"Shit-" You scrambled for your blouse, trying to cover yourself.

You were still standing bare in front of her. And if anyone were to walk into your classroom right now, they'd have a list of questions that you don't feel like answering.

As soon as you had your blouse in your hands, you rushed to get it back on. Your wings, though still slightly painful, retracted back to the state they were in just 10 minutes ago.

You paused as you saw Lesso walking toward you again, grabbing each side of the unbuttoned top and pulling you a little closer to her.

You wouldn't admit what that move just did to you, "You don't have to hide anymore, especially not from me."

A soft smile came to your lips at her words, but then you took this opportunity to be yourself once more.

You raised your brow, "Oh, so you'd be perfectly content with just anyone seeing me topless?"

"No, that is just for my eyes to see." She replied with her signature smirk.

Her admission caused you to have a heart palpitation, instantly and helplessly thinking what that could've possibly meant, but it was another thing you didn't let on to, "Is it now?" You slowly licked your lips, keeping your bottom lip tucked between your teeth.

You could feel your breath getting caught in your throat as her eyes glanced down to your lips and lingered for a second, "Indubitably."

When her eyes flicked back onto yours, a silent question waiting behind them, you leaped onto your moment of courage. Moving your hand to the back of her neck and pulling her in, wasting no time in connecting your lips with hers.

The hum that came from the redhead solidified your choice of the action. Your lips moved together harmoniously, everything around you becoming entirely drowned out and irrelevant at that moment. The kiss only ceased when the need for air became too strong to ignore. You pulled back only as much as needed, the bridge of your noses brushing together as you both tried to catch your breath.

A chuckle emitted from Lesso, causing you to pull back further in question, "You have no idea how long I've been waiting to do that."

"Really?" You tried to hide all the emotions you were feeling, making it come across as a teasing prod, though you weren't entirely sure how successful you were.

"Of course. I mean, have you seen you?" The blush that irrupted across your cheeks was entirely involuntary.

You were about to speak, albeit you were about to disagree with Lesso, but you were cut off before any sound escaped your lips. A sudden jolt of discomfort went through your wings, and you didn't hide your reaction. You briefly closed your eyes as a shaky breath came from you. You opened your eyes when you felt Lesso put her hands at the base of your neck, your eyes instantly met her concerned ones.

"What can I do to help?"

Lesso hated seeing you in pain, she usually quite enjoys others in pain, especially when she causes it. But not you, and not now. She wants to be the one to rid you of it.

"Uh, well-" You trailed off, feeling foolish about what you wanted.

"What is it, Dove? I can tell there's something you're thinking of." Again, she saw straight through you.

The blush returned to your cheeks, only darker, possibly from you sheepishly asking about your desire and definitely from the pet name she gave you, "Could you- uh, could you just touch them the same way you did earlier?"

Her eyes lit up just enough for you to notice, "Of course, if that's what you want."

Of course, it's what Lesso wanted too. She yearned to touch them again, something about the silky soft touch of them being something that can only be described as you. You can see the excitement that she tried to hide, but you certainly didn't mind it.

At this point, you couldn't tell who wanted this more, you or her. You took a step back, pulling your blouse off once again and letting it fall to the floor.

The glance Lesso stole wasn't lost on you, but you just decided to store it away for later.

You turned slowly, allowing your wings to reveal themselves once more. Another groan came from you once they were fully visible, the sensitivity of them still overwhelming.

It was just a mere moment from when you slightly spread your wings to when Lesso came into contact with them, a sigh instantly being emitted from you on instinct.

"Is this okay?" She questioned as her fingers ran down your left wing.

"Yes, it is. I don't, understand..." You didn't mean for that last part to be said aloud.

Your wing twitched a little, unconsciously trying to follow her touch.

"Understand what?" You withheld your whine when her touches ceased.

"I don't understand how this could feel so nice."

"Has no one ever done something like this for you before?" You could hear the incredulousness in her voice.

"No... I've never let anyone else touch them, and I can't really touch the outer parts of my wings."

A sense of pride filled Lesso, her being the first and the only one to touch your wings. And knowing that from now, she'd be the only one that gets to, filled her with great gratification too.

"Thank you for this, by the way." Your voice was small, but you weren't sure why.

"There's nothing I wouldn't do for you, Dove."

You should be accustomed to the blush that comes to your face when it comes to Lesso, but you haven't yet, "And I-" You were cut off when there was a knock against your door, almost instantly followed by a jiggle of the doorknob.

Panic filled you immediately, but you hadn't noticed Lesso's subtle panic too. Instead of wasting time trying to redress yourself, and probably failing, you snapped your fingers and your magic redressed you. It appeared as if you were never undressed to begin with, your wings instantly being hidden once more.

"You may enter." You spoke toward the door, unlocking it with a wave of your hand.

One of your students walked in just a moment later, nearly freezing with evident fear at the sight of the two most powerful people in the school being in the same room together. They divert their eyes as they silently find their seat and wait for other students to arrive.

It was then that you remembered it was time for your next lesson, a sigh of disappointment escaping you at this realization. Why couldn't the day just be done already?

Lesso glanced back at you, seeing the frown that unconsciously clouded your features.

"I believe you have a class to teach." Both of you knew that neither of you wanted this little interaction to end but at least this saved you both from an awkward attempt at ending the conversation. "And I have things to do, villainy to attend to. And if I'm lucky, I might get to see a few terror-stricken expressions too!"

You both shared a smirk at her excitement, "Then who am I to impede on such marvelous plans?"

She flashed you a wink as she began walking toward the classroom door.

She turned back just before she exited, "I'll see you in my office, tonight." She said with the intoxicating smirk of hers.

She turned out of your room before you could answer, leaving no room for any possible denial. Not like you would've said no anyways. Her turning out of your room allowed for your surprisingly bashful smile to go unseen, the giddiness already overtaking you.

You replaced your horrifying persona once more students entered the room. It took no effort due to your pain being completely gone, almost as if you hadn't felt it to begin with.

You stood at the front of the room as all your students poured in. You did your best to make it seem like you were present, that your mind wasn't elsewhere focused on a certain redhead, the task being relatively simple seeing as she occupies your mind quite often. To them, it was another day just all others before it. But to you, it was the start of so much more.

@v3nusxsky as promised I tagged you so you can read it :), again thank you for inspiring me to share my work on Tumblr too!

#leonora lesso x reader #soft lady lesso #leonora lesso #winged #lady lesso x reader #pain and comfort #lady lesso #fanfic #sfgae #sfge #wlw #sapphic #charlize theron #sge netflix #oneshot #lady leonora lesso #fluff

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nowis-scales · 2 months

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Flora and Felicia Birthday Headcanons

It's the Ice Tribe twins' birthday, so of course I had to build up some headcanons for the birthday of two of my favourite Fire Emblem girls ever. Hope you enjoy!

Flora:

‣ Has a hard time adjusting to the rest of the army in Revelation because she doesn’t trust the Nohrians as the ones who have her people under their thumb, but doesn’t trust the Hoshidans either. After all, the food scarcity affected more than just Nohr, and she hasn’t heard so much as peep from the Hoshidans about what was going on there. It also doesn’t help that both groups don’t have a tendency to include her in any war decisions at first, so it just leads to her feeling like they don’t respect her and the rest of the Ice Tribe as a “real” group of people with the same stake in this. It improves over time, and as she makes more friends she grows to appreciate them, but at first it’s very easy to feel left out of the arrangement. Nohr and Hoshido didn't exactly ask anybody else what they thought when they started their war.

‣ Jealous of anyone with a natural charisma. It’s something that she’s quite embarrassed about, but she feels that she isn’t naturally likeable, so she can’t help but be envious of anyone who just has a natural draw to them. What she doesn’t realize is that she actually is quite lovely and people do like her, it’s just that she seems so reserved and purposefully cold that people just assume that she doesn’t want to be bothered.

‣ May secretly feel more comfortable with Gunter to her own father, though she is very ashamed of it. It’s not that she doesn’t love Kilma, she definitely does, it’s just that… well, Gunter tends to be a bit warmer with her. Knowing she’s his successor, as well as with the Ice Tribe still being under King Garon’s thumb, Kilma tends to be a bit colder and more critical towards Flora just because he knows she’s in a hard situation for all of them. He can’t let Garon knows the depths to which he cares for her, and he certainly can’t let her go in unprepared for what she’s facing… so it’s hard for them to have the more comfortable relationship of your typical father and daughter. This, of course, doesn’t excuse Kilma’s behaviour in favouring Felicia — but it does explain why Flora feels closer to Gunter.

‣ A LOT of Flora’s personal identity is something she stakes on being a leader to her people. If you were to ask her what she would be doing if she weren’t leading the Ice Tribe, she’d have no idea. That’s, in some part, what makes the threat of Felicia worse for her — if her father were to pick Felicia instead, then she wouldn’t know what to do. There’s lots of things she enjoys, but her low self-esteem makes her think that she wouldn’t be good at any of them. She supposes if she had to, she might like to run her own business or be a teacher… something where she can take advantage of her capabilities as a caretaker, but not something where she is forcibly reminded of her undesired time as a maid.

‣ Pretty crafty person. She could make all kinds of little trinkets if you let her, and often does when she has the time. When she was little and first brought to the Northern Fortress, she used to use whatever scraps she could find around and make little figurines out of things like wires and buttons. She would then hide them places for Felicia to find. It was a little game they delighted in playing, until Corrin came across one — at first, Flora thought Corrin would be mad… but they loved them and begged to join in on the scavenger hunt for them, too. Flora was reluctant, but eventually agreed, and even started to teach Corrin how to make them when she warmed up to the captured royal.

‣ Favourite trait about her appearance is her hair colour. It’s such a pretty shade of blue, and she likes that it gives her an ethereal quality. Plus, it feels so perfect for a leader of the Ice Tribe to have icy blue locks, so it just makes her feel very strong. Her only frustration is worrying that the colours she wears might not go with it.

‣ Flora’s love language 100% involves feeding people. If you want to know if she likes you, ask yourself how much she feeds you. That’s why in her Festival of Bonds with Jakob, her instinct upon hearing he liked mushrooms was to give him as much as possible. She has a handful of good recipes that have been passed down to her from her own grandmother, and another good chunk that she learned from Gunter, so anybody she comes to love will always have a happy, full belly. Be warned if it’s your birthday, though — she will feed you so much, and even if you try to refuse, she won't let you get away without putting more on your plate. Who wants thirds?

‣ She doesn’t really get cold that easily. It kind of varies between Ice Tribe people, but Flora doesn’t really feel it in comparison to some of the others. Something has to be really cold for her to feel it, or artificially cool — so she can feel another Ice Tribe person’s magic, but the cold weather isn’t too much of a bother to her. This is a skill that amazes many others, and has made her a favourite for helping out on snowy days. She actually doesn’t mind having to do the hard work in the winter weather… it’s a different kind of challenge from the maid duties she does, so it’s refreshing. Helps her feel well-rounded.

‣ In some way, Flora is so poised and perfect because she practices it. She thinks a lot about how she comes across to other people, how to appear strong and graceful and leaderly, so she tends to practice and decide what works and what doesn’t. If anyone were to catch her doing this, she would try and play it off… and then let her cheeks flush and duck her head as she walks away, muttering to herself about how she’s such an idiot. Anyone who has caught her doing it finds it impossibly charming, though they wish she wouldn’t criticize herself so harshly.

‣ When Flora prepares snacks, she does like those cute little snacks you see on Pinterest that parents do for their kids. I’m talking apple snails made with peanut butter and chocolate chips, oranges and celery made to look like little pumpkins, and hard-boiled eggs shaped like bunnies. It’s all adorable, and it’s one of the things that made Corrin instantly like her when she came to the Fortress. She’s very proud of them, and loves that people enjoy them so. When she learns that Hoshidans also have their own ways of making cute foods, she is delighted and insists on learning — then she can add apple bunnies and octopus hotdogs to her repertoire!

Felicia:

‣ Somewhat privy to gossip in camp. Maybe not as much as someone like Silas, but her pleasant, non-judgemental demeanour and status as a maid tend to make people comfortable enough to just… tell her things. Of course, she lives by a code of secrecy and would absolutely refuse to tell anyone about what she's learned, but it is still interesting for her to know all of the different things going on in camp. You... probably still shouldn't trust her with a crush, though. Not because she'd tell them, but because she would probably try to wingwoman a tad too hard on your behalf, and it would just become really obvious.

‣ Has an ore collection that she deeply treasures and only shares with people she really likes. She's been enamoured with pretty stones since her days in the Ice Tribe as a little girl, as the mountains back home were just full of them. When anyone would bring her one, she would add it to her collection right away. Although her original collection is still back in her home village, she started a new one while she was at the Fortress. It's perhaps not as impressive, but it does boast some rather pretty gems. Her most treasured one is an opal she received as a gift from the Nohrian royal siblings, as thanks for taking such good care of Corrin over the years. She loves it so much, she keeps saying that she wants to get it made into a pendant someday.

‣ Her life motto at this point is basically just “be scared, but do it anyway”. She’s already so goddamn nervous about everything, so to get anything done, she kind of has to just duck and run. She might have to do it screaming and crying from fear, but gods damn it, she is going to do it! It really catches her enemies off-guard sometimes, because yes, this woman did just kill three soldiers with ease, but she's also been sobbing the whole time?

‣ Very curious about the rest of the world, but is very much cautiously curious. She doesn't have a great deal of experience with the world outside of the Northern Fortress, and Flora, Gunter, and Jakob protect her from... many things, so she's eager to gain new experiences while still keeping a respectable distance. Thankfully, she's smart enough to take it slow: she works up from 'playing with big dogs for the first time' to 'learning how to use Hoshidan weaponry'.

‣ Had no idea she was a source of insecurity for Flora simply because Felicia thinks Flora is literally the best. People have tried to get in with telling Felicia by saying that she’s more approachable and fun to talk to than Flora, and have been surprised when she got really offended and started loudly defending her sister. As far as Felicia is concerned, Flora is one of the most wonderful people on the planet and she doesn't get why anyone wouldn't like her. She didn't notice Gunter and Kilma praising her for her skills in battle and not doing the same to Flora, because she was so used to hearing her be praised by other people for other things. It's why she struggled to understand why Flora would seem to have these fits of grumpiness with her... And honestly, that she has these little moody moments are probably the worst thing Felicia could say about her sister.

‣ Wants to wear make-up, but can’t really because she’s so clumsy it always turns out terrible. Usually, if she's going to a special event, she'll ask another girl to help her out with it, because her hands shake and her viewpoint just never seems to be good enough, and if there's a way to break a wand of mascara, she will find it. She still tries her best to practice, though... even if no one will see the results. It's just how she is. She wants to get better at things that her clumsiness interferes with, even if they're small things, to prove that she can do it. It's an uphill battle, but she's got the rest of her life to fight, right?

‣ She’s not so good at drawing. Sculpting? Amazing. Her supports with Hinata prove that. When it comes to putting pencil to paper though, every thing just comes out like wonky tween girl cutesy. She comes by it honestly, and knows her drawings aren't very good, but still has a tendency to doodle whenever you put a piece of paper in front of her. As always, her mind just kind of wanders, and before you know it, her paper will be full of awkward-looking bunny rabbits and flowers with just a few too many petals.

‣ It’s really not easy to make Felicia angry, or perhaps it’s more true to say that it’s not easy to get her to express her anger. She’s more so someone who deals with “wet anger”, where she cries and her voice shakes and she can’t really find it within herself to fully fight back. Felicia believes anger is destructive, particularly as someone from the Ice Tribe who could freeze someone alive with it, so she often chooses to remove herself from the situation and cry it out so nothing gets out of hand. It usually wouldn’t anyway, but it’s a precaution. If you get her angry, really angry, though… you should be worried.

‣ When it comes to the war of Nohr vs. Hoshido, Felicia doesn't really have a lot of prejudgments. Being a more clear-cut example of Nohr's food problem, given that she loses meal privileges to foot the cost of things she breaks, you would think that she might be more upset with Hoshido... but she also recognizes that the Nohrians are going after the Hoshidans the same way they went after her people, too. Plainly put, she refuses to judge people individually on either side, because she genuinely believes it is something that they can work out. People can and do change, and maybe it's just the lack of understanding that's there that makes things the way they are? That's why she follows Corrin in every route: Corrin feels the same way she does, and wants everyone to be safe and happy. She trusts her friend's judgement, even if it might do for Felicia to think a bit more for herself.

‣ Loves to dance. She’s horrible at it, though. It’s the clumsies. Still, in the comfort of her own space, that doesn't stop her. When she was a little girl and the other Ice Tribe women were doing their dances, she used to spend hours after trying to imitate them. She never did learn, but she holds out hope that someday she might be able to dance among them for real. If she's lucky and keeps trying, maybe she'll be able to dance as apart of Flora's chieftain ceremony in the future.

#fire emblem #fire emblem fates #fire emblem fates revelation #fire emblem fates birthright #fire emblem fates conquest #fire emblem felicia #fire emblem flora #fe felicia #fe flora #fe14 #fef

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