#and how they turn on one another based on conflict of opinion alone which remains an issue of contention to this day for those learning | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hope-grace-serenity · 3 years

Text

In Defense of the Deputy: Morals and Ethics in Far Cry 5

The narratives of recent Far Cry installments have been framed in a way that make the player question whether or not they’re truly playing as the “good guy.” In Far Cry 3, Jason slowly embraces the violent lifestyle on Rook Island, gradually finding the killing to be a fun power trip instead of the horrifying reality that it is. In Far Cry 4, Ajay topples a ruthless dictator, only to replace him with a revolutionary that is either a religious extremist or a person who has children kidnapped in order to make them into soldiers/slaves. In Far Cry 5, the Deputy goes up against a professed prophet in an attempt to subdue him and his cult, only to find in the end that the prophet was right about the end of the world. It is logical to think that if the Deputy would have just left the cult well enough alone, then that would have been the right choice, as it would have avoided the war between Eden’s Gate and the rest of Hope County, as possibly the Collapse itself. However, there is a different way to view it.

The purpose of this post is to convey that Joseph being accurate regarding the Collapse does not necessarily mean that avoiding confrontation with Eden’s Gate or joining them would have been the “right” thing to do. In fact, it will suggest the opposite: that the Deputy has a moral and ethical obligation to fight *against* Eden’s Gate and that the actions of the cult are firmly wrong despite the Collapse happening. While we as players can certainly feel empathy for the Seeds, their actions within the game make them the clear villains in this scenario, in my opinion. The Deputy deserves no blame for attempting to subdue the cult, and I will explain why by focusing on both in-universe rationale and looking at the narrative from a broader perspective.

The Warrant

First, we need to examine the idea of morality and ethics. Morality refers to a person’s principles of right and wrong--this is something that can be influenced by a person’s culture, religion, family, experiences, etc. Ethics refers to rules of conduct given by some kind of external source. In Far Cry 5, the protagonist is a law enforcement official with an ethical obligation to uphold the law and confront those who break it. Furthermore, from the perspective of a 21st century American--which we can assume the Deputy is, based on the setting of the game--Eden’s Gate commits several acts that cause harm and remove the personal agency of others, which provides the Deputy with a moral motivation for stopping them, as opposed to solely an ethical one.

An arrest warrant is made for Joseph Seed due to suspicion of kidnapping with an intent to harm. The Deputy choosing not to go through with the arrest would be bad from both a moral and ethical perspective. “Kidnapping with an intent to harm” is a serious charge, and can be a matter of life or death for the victim. Imagine if you were the parent or sibling of the kidnapping victim, and you found out that the law enforcement officials chose not to go through with the arrest of the suspect because they were afraid of rocking the boat. If that information was made public, the law enforcement officials would be rightly criticized for not doing their jobs, and for prioritizing their own desire for convenience over bringing justice to the victim. By arresting Joseph Seed, the Deputy made the moral and ethical decision.

As we see from the main game, the “suspicions” listed in the arrest warrant are later proven to be correct. Alex is killed, and his body is mutilated and put on public display as a warning. Hannah is tortured physically and psychologically, and is also killed due to her forced participation in Jacob’s trials. Joseph and several members of Eden’s Gate knew that they kidnapped the film crew. They knew in advance that Law Enforcement was coming. So, how do they decide to handle this? In a way befitting for characters who are meant to be viewed as villains.

Before the Reaping

Before we get into what the Deputy actually sees in-game, one thing needs to be made clear: Eden’s Gate always had an underlying darkness surrounding them. Regardless of what they looked like on the surface, they were never some peaceful hippie commune that was minding its own business before the Deputy came along. They’ve been committing crimes and getting away with them for years. They didn’t suddenly snap once the Deputy arrived--the Deputy’s arrival simply peeled back and revealed what was already there.

We know from the “Grieving Note” that Angels have been with Eden’s Gate for several years, longer than the current Faith has been with the group. Angels are humans who are exposed to an extreme amount of the Bliss drug, which causes them to lose their capacity for human thought and essentially act as a literal mindless follower. Their loss of identity and individuality is furthered by Eden’s Gate shaving the heads of the Angels and surgically removing their ability to speak. They act as slave labor--described as "beasts of burden"--and are fed dog food and garbage. The idea of becoming an angel is used as a threat to fellow cultists in the “Cult Note” in the King’s Hot Springs Hotel. The fact that Eden's Gate creates and condones the existence of these Angels is truly disturbing from a moral perspective, due to the inherent exploitation and dehumanization. When Angels die, their bodies are tossed in a pit of “boiling muck” in Horned Serpent Cave to disintegrate.

Angels aren’t the only ones thrown in the pit to disintegrate: Joseph threw the body of Lana, a previous Faith, in there as well, despite being told by him that she was “special.” There is a reason the writers chose to highlight that the bodies were disposed of in here, as opposed to the cult simply burying them. Bodies are disintegrated if you want to hide evidence, and by tossing the bodies in a location with properties dangerous enough to require a bio-hazard sign, any crimes are easily covered up. We don’t find the bodies of Selena or the other previous Faiths who were "used up and thrown away" by Joseph, but considering there are hints that point to foul play (disintegration of Lana’s body, Megan leaving out of fear of what Joseph could do after seeing that there was a new Faith, the way the position itself is dehumanized, the fact that Joseph has a designated corpse disposal spot in the first place, etc.) and absolutely zero evidence towards any kind of alternate fate for the previous Faiths, it’s easy to put two and two together and conclude that the previous Faiths met a grisly fate that was covered up as well.

Eden’s Gate was also involved in animal abuse through the creation of Judges, which were unleashed after the reaping. These animals were kidnapped and forcibly exposed to an obscene amount of the Bliss drug, which purposely causes them to act like rabid killers in the service of Eden’s Gate. According to NPCs, they were trained to hunt humans.

Let’s also not forget that Joseph personally gorged a guy’s eyes out for being a traitor. If the developers didn’t want us to view Joseph as someone who was capable of doing that, then they would have removed it from the introductory video, but they didn’t. Also, the fact that Eden’s Gate has been planning for the Reaping for a while now shows that this group had the intent to launch a large-scale attack from before the Deputy even arrived at the compound.

And last but certainly not least, YEARS before the events of FC5, Jacob sent the Cook to kidnap Jess’s family. The Cook starved the family for days before torturing the parents and children by playing sick mind games and feeding the parents' flesh to their children. After all their toes were cut off, the parents were set on fire in front of their kids. The fact that this happened years ago, and this Cook is still with the group, is quite telling and reveals a lot about the morality and priorities of Eden’s Gate. If they wanted to get rid of him, they would have.

So as we can see, Eden’s Gate has no moral high ground to stand on at the start of the game. Not only is Joseph guilty of the crime he is accused of, but he and his organization are guilty of so much more, and have been for years. These actions committed by Eden’s Gate violate numerous laws and are morally wrong, as they bring severe harm to others and/or forcibly remove another’s personal agency for the convenience of the cult. The Deputy uncovers all of this throughout the course of the game.

During the Reaping

Knowledge of Eden’s Gate’s past crimes would be reason enough to take down this cult, but the Deputy also sees the current horrors firsthand. During the Reaping, cultists kidnap, torture, mutilate, and murder numerous unwilling participants. They steal supplies and were willing to kidnap a beloved pet dog in order to perform experiments on him and turn the poor dog into a savage killer, after killing his owners. Defaced corpses are decorated and strung up as warnings. Some citizens of Hope County are fed to Judges, while others are turned into Angels or are forced to leap off a giant statue. If someone doesn’t convert to the religion of Eden’s Gate, then they are either tortured or drugged until they give in, or murdered.

The Deputy has zero incentive to walk away from this conflict. Why would they? As a deputy of Hope County, they have a moral and ethical obligation to protect the county’s citizens, and those citizens are under attack by Eden’s Gate. Eden’s Gate are the aggressors in this scenario. *They* are the ones who are kidnapping, murdering, torturing, and brainwashing the Hope County citizens. As far as the Deputy is aware at the beginning of the game, they are the only remaining police officer and only person in a position of authority to fight against the cult. It is their responsibility to fight against the people causing grievous harm to the county.

Throughout the game, the Deputy’s personal encounters with the heralds further reinforce the idea that Eden’s Gate is dangerous and beyond reason. While confessions can and should be voluntary, John does not approach it in that way. John kidnaps, terrorizes, and tortures the hardened Joey Hudson to the point of tears, and brings the Deputy to his torture dungeon where he once pried confessions under duress from prior individuals of the county. He kidnapped the Deputy in order to forcibly baptize them to the point where they might have drowned without Joseph’s interference, and captures them in order to make them confess, using the presence of Hudson as leverage (Hudson’s misery was also used as incentive on the video to draw the Deputy to the Holland region). He lures the Deputy to the church in the same way (by kidnapping their friends) and then permanently modifies their body against their will. Despite his proclaimed desire to have the Deputy atone, John also expresses desire to see the Deputy dead on occasion, such as after they destroy his sign.

While it might be easier for the player to sympathize with John due to his backstory and dynamic with Joseph, from the Deputy’s in-universe perspective, his instability represents a very real, tangible threat not only to them, but to the people of Hope County as a whole. At every turn, John has either imposed his will onto the Deputy by removing opportunities for agency and/or harming others. The Deputy owes John nothing. Any "choice" he gives of saying "Yes" is undermined by the massive amount of strings attached. It is difficult to envision a reason why the Deputy would decide to give into John’s philosophy, aside from faking it in order to protect their allies. This is a failing on John's part, not the Deputy.

Like John, Faith also expresses a desire for the Deputy to give in to Eden's Gate. But unlike John, she initially appears to the Deputy in a more pacifistic, less confrontational way. Despite this, the Deputy is still able to see her darker side due to her views on the Angels and fate of the unfortunate souls who walk the path whipping themselves and take a literal leap off of the statue of Joseph. Furthermore, she overrides the Deputy’s agency through the use of Bliss, which drastically warps one’s perception of reality. The Bliss that she now controls makes the horrific creation of Angels possible, and this Bliss is also used during baptisms, which muddles the issue of personal agency and consent to John’s process in addition to her own conversion process. The dangers of the Bliss and how it affects one’s thought process become highlighted in the Henbane region, and letters, voicemails, and NPC chatter show that Faith is not one to be trifled with. This comes to a head when Faith brainwashes the Sheriff and manipulates the Marshall into killing Virgil before killing himself. While it’s easy to have sympathy for Faith and her experiences, from the Deputy’s perspective, Faith is still a potential danger, which is why they step back when she leaned toward them during her death scene.

Jacob too removes the Deputy’s personal agency by literally brainwashing them and turning them into a tool that he can command, which eventually results in the Deputy being forced to kill a friend. He forced captives into competing against each other in life or death trials. He keeps the Deputy in a cage with a dead body and feeds them “mystery meat” after seven days of starving them while telling them a story about how he cannibalized his friend. The Judges are his brainchild that he sends to attack and kill others. Like John, Jacob also kidnapped and tortured a fellow police officer, to the point where they act like a slave to Jacob’s whims. Jacob has not done anything other than convincing the Deputy that he is a threat.

It is not the Deputy's job to fix the Seeds' personal issues--it's their job to protect Hope County. Throughout their journey, the Deputy sees various atrocities being committed, both to strangers and to themselves and the people they care about. There is zero reason for the Deputy to genuinely give in to the Seeds and join Eden's Gate, considering the horrible way they were treated and how they saw others being treated.

Joseph and the Voice

The Deputy’s presence did not *force* Eden’s Gate to start the Reaping. *Joseph* was the one to initiate it as a reaction to the Deputy’s presence, and all of Eden’s Gate followed him lockstep. When given the opportunity to finally confront and arrest the man responsible or walk away, it almost feels laughable that it’s even a choice at this point.

As leader of Eden’s Gate, Joseph oversees all parts of the Project. The buck stops with him. If he had any issues with Faith’s Angels, or Jacob’s trials, or John’s torture, he could have and would have said something--such as when he intervenes during the baptism--but he doesn’t. Because it furthers the goal of the Project, he doesn’t see any issue with these actions and feels they are justified.

Joseph’s vision of the Collapse coming true doesn’t mean that his actions throughout the game have greater inherent morality than the Deputy. It just means that he’s right about the Collapse. Regarding the Reaping, I do not believe that Joseph was motivated by a sense of cruelty, but that doesn’t change how many of the actions he participated in and oversaw *were* cruel. In real life, we see various examples of some people (not just in religious institutions, but in positions of authority in general) who commit harmful acts for the sake of a perceived “greater good.” And many of those people genuinely believe in what they are doing, believe they are in the right. But that doesn’t mean they actually are.

Which brings us to the elephant in the room: the Voice. If the Voice of God supports Joseph, then surely the deputy is automatically the “bad guy” for opposing him, right?

Wrong.

First, we have to be willing to admit that we know next to nothing about the Voice. The only things we know about it is what is conveyed to us by Joseph. We do not know the exact wording of what the Voice says, the level of detail it gives him regarding expectations (if any), or even what it is. Is it the voice of God? Satan? A real angel? Some kind of eldritch entity from another dimension? How accurate is Joseph's reiteration or interpretation? Sometimes it seems to directly tell Joseph things (hence the title, “the Voice”), other times it shows him visions. Clearly, there is some kind of supernatural component, as it allows Joseph to see the future, but since we don’t know much about it specifically, we can’t automatically assume or attribute inherent benevolence or morality to it.

Second, it’s entirely possible for a genuine prophet of God (assuming the Voice does indeed belong to a benevolent creator), or those who have/had God’s favor, to engage in morally questionable behavior, both in the eyes of God and/or in the eyes of 21st century readers. While the Project at Eden’s Gate is its own distinct religion, it takes most of its cues from Christianity, both in terms of practices and beliefs. In the Bible, King David had a man murdered so he could sleep with that man’s wife. Jonah wanted the entire population of a city to be killed off instead of having them repent. Jacob (the Biblical figure) deceives his father into giving him a birthright that belonged to his brother, and shows blatant favoritism to one son which ends up causing a lot of internal strife within the family. It’s fully within the realm of possibility that Joseph’s actions are not meant to be endorsed, either by the Voice itself or by the narrative in a broader sense.

In New Dawn, Joseph alludes to his own personal failings by saying, “My soul has become a cancer. I am a monster. I only spread suffering and death in the name of God.” The death of his son and the destruction of New Eden act as a moment of awakening for Joseph, as he finally realizes the harsh reality of his actions and how they affect others. He then expresses a desire for death and says, “There is only the justice of God’s hand.” The implication of “justice” being done indicates that the Voice (“God”) would not be happy with some of the actions that Joseph did. So while Joseph’s actions in FC5 were done with the intent of serving the Voice, his execution of these ideas was something that Joseph feels God would not like, as his actions spread death and suffering.

And thirdly, we have to remember that the Deputy and the player are viewing the idea of morality from the perspective of a 21st century human. Let’s say that, hypothetically, the Voice specifically instructed and condoned the erasure of free will/murders/kidnappings/etc. for whatever reason, and by enacting them, Joseph and Eden’s Gate were “just following orders.” Does this absolve Joseph and Eden's Gate of responsibility? No. Willing participation in the crimes committed, even if it wasn’t “their idea,” can still have legal consequences and can still be viewed as “bad” from a moral perspective because of the results of those actions.

The Collapse

It has been discussed elsewhere (on this site and in outside articles/discussions about the game) that the actions of the deputy correspond with the role of the Lamb in Revelations, and by breaking the seals, the Deputy’s actions supernaturally trigger the Collapse. This interpretation is fairly popular, and is one I personally support. However, I do not feel as though this interpretation lessens the morality of the Deputy's actions. Their decision to fight the Seeds is still the right one, regardless of whether or not their actions resulted in some kind of cosmic game of dominos.

First off, when the Deputy is attempting to take down the Seeds and protect the people of Hope County, they are not doing this with the intent of playing a role in a cosmic prophecy that will result in the death of millions. They’re looking at the situation from a human perspective, and acting accordingly and sensibly. The Seeds, on the other hand, were willingly harming innocents both before and during the Reaping.

Second, if there's a need to assign blame to a human for starting the Collapse (and I personally don't think there needs to be), it would be the Seeds, not the Deputy. The Sheriff and the deputies wouldn’t have arrived with the arrest warrant if the Seeds were not kidnapping and doing other illegal actions.

And thirdly, if one does attribute blame of the Collapse to the Deputy, then one also must attribute the birth of the new world to them as well. Following along with the idea that the events of FC5 are a fulfillment of Revelations, then the Collapse is ultimately viewed as a Good Thing within in the context of the Book of Revelations, even if the player might not personally share the sentiment. The Book of Revelations describes how the new world that is supposed to emerge from the ashes of the old is meant to be much better than the one before. And if we look at the world of New Dawn--and I’m going to copy and paste something I wrote previously here---Nature is allowed to flourish, people work together and support each other in a tight community, all the social ills mentioned in the Book of Joseph (and by the characters in-game) no longer exist. The only “snakes in the garden” would be the Highwaymen, and they are abolished by the Captain, who Joseph prophesizes to be some kind of Messiah-like figure. The final scene of New Dawn is one of hope, where the characters talk about building a better future. The way Joseph and Ethan’s storyline ends also connects to the whole idea of breaking away from the past and moving forward. If one believes that the Deputy is responsible for the Collapse, then this new world shown in New Dawn and the context of Revelations complicates the idea of viewing the Deputy's actions as being inherently bad.

Some might also argue that the Deputy has responsibility for not taking Joseph's warnings more seriously. Why though? Why should the Deputy attribute more credibility to Joseph's claims than, say, those of Marshall Applewhite or David Koresh? As players who know the ending, it’s easy for us to say that the Deputy should have listened to Joseph's warning about the Collapse, but there’s no in-universe rationale for the Deputy to do so. Issues of belief aside, Eden’s Gate’s actions alone are enough to paint an extremely negative picture of the group and would be enough to make any regular person not want to associate with them.

Under the framework of the Revelations prophecy being the intended interpretation of the game events though, I personally don't feel that any character "deserves" blame for the Collapse happening, not even the Seeds. I blame the Seeds for what they do to people within the game and before the events of FC5. And my perception of the Deputy is based on what we see in the game as well. But again, the Revelations prophecy idea is simply one way to view the game. Regardless of whether or not this interpretation is the correct one, the deputy still has the moral high ground in their fight against the Seeds.

Conclusion

Joseph being right about the Collapse does not mean that his (and by extension, Eden’s Gate’s) actions during FC5 were justified, and the Deputy should not be blamed for fighting against them. Just as the Deputy made a choice to arrest Joseph, Joseph made the choice to react in the worst way possible with the Reaping. Eden’s Gate were the aggressors who were kidnapping, torturing, and murdering people throughout the county. The Deputy fights against Eden’s Gate as a direct result of *Eden's Gate's* actions. The Deputy deserves no blame or guilt for killing the Seeds and destroying their bases of operations, as they reacted in a logical way based on the quality of information they had at the time.

In New Dawn, the Deputy expresses an extreme amount of guilt, which transforms them into the Judge. This guilt is misplaced and should be attributed to the other resident of the bunker, which is something Joseph himself even alludes to during his final speech in New Dawn when he criticizes his own actions. If Eden’s Gate did not start attacking the people of Hope County, the bunkers would still be standing, and the Seeds and many other cultists would still be alive. But they did, so they’re not.

While I adore all four of the Seeds as characters and have varying degrees of sympathy for them, they are firmly villains within the context of the story due to their actions. The deputy is not a bad guy for trying to stop them. The fact the Seeds sided with a guy who kidnapped and starved a family, then fed the parents' flesh to their children while playing “this little piggy” with the parents’ toes, and then murdered said parents in front of their children should speak for itself.

TL;DR: The deputy’s decision to confront Joseph instead of walking away was the right one.

#far cry 5 #fc5 #joseph seed #jacob seed #faith seed #john seed #the junior deputy #long post #tw: canon typical violence #far cry 5 meta #fc5 meta #far cry #i do love all these characters #just to be perfectly clear lol #far cry meta

101 notes · View notes

trashcatsnark · 3 years

Text

Cyberpunk 2077 Spoilers and just opinions on how everyone in game is just way too nice to johnny given his personality in my opinion

Okay I know I just made a post about how I would have loved if Smasher didn't remember who the fuck Johnny is. But I also just generally wish people in the game gave less of a shit about Johnny.

Which I get sounds mean, but I'm going somewhere with this.

Johnny's arc is based around him realizing that his selfishness and cruelty got him nowhere, then deciding to change for the better, to right his wrongs before he's wiped from V's mind. He's meant to be a selfish, violent asshole who's obsessed with changing the world, but until now was never willing to change himself. It's actually very interesting to me that he has this conflict of ideas where he preaches about external change but is so stuck on the idea of remaining true to himself that he refuses to do any internal changing; saying he wants to world and the people in it to change when he speaks about the fan, but until the grave scene any notion that he's changing in the slightest is met with dismissal and disgust. And his turning point culminates at that grave scene where he realizes all his behavior got him was an unmarked shallow grave in an oil field. He's forced to confront that he didn't leave behind the legacy, the memory, that he thought he would.

But...the issue is, that's not really true. Johnny is suppose to be having this realization that no one fucking liked him, no one could stand him, that no one remembers or cares that his asshole self is gone.

However, other than the grave scene, we don't actually see any evidence of that. And even the grave scene is undercut with the fact that, part of Johnny's sorrow is seeing that no one is mourned him. No headstone, no marker, no memorial.

BUT HE HAS A NICHE IN THE COLUMBARIAN, RIGHT NEXT TO ALT!!!! It's just under his birth name, (though i do have a theory regarding that that could explain it, but thats a post for another day or in twenty minutes when i decide no, I can't be quiet) And he never comments on the columbarian niche.

Culturally, his music and Samurai is still extremely well known. Hell, his music gets played more than Kerry's and Kerry is a current artist. He's got fans who are still dedicated to him and his career. There's graffiti asking where he is. People still wear Samurai merch, there's pants with his face on them.

Even the people he hurt; don't really seem that bummed out or like they hate him. Rogue calls him a bastard, leaves him during the date, and gets mad if he ends up in V's body permanently. But, overall, she falls right back into her 2013-2023 habits. Johnny says with a cocky attitude in Tom's Diner, that she'll dance to any tune he sings her. And she does. Drops everything to go after Smasher once Johnny shows up, "Johnny being back changes things.", gives V a replica of his jacket, asks V if he talks about her, and depending on the ending even dies for him. Doesn't matter that Johnny was a cheating bastard, she still jumps when he calls even fifty some years later.

Kerry gets mad at first and then is just happy his friend is back in some way/shape/or form. Time to get the band back together!!!! And I get that he's depressed to the max, so I can totally understand why he's just happy to have something. But, we don't really see any of Johnny's shitty behavior being addressed beyond initial anger and yeahhhh johnny's an asshole.

Him being a dick is treated more like a quirky personality trait at times, like oh that johnny with his devastatingly cruel words and tendency to put everyone around him in danger, aint he a rascal.

Even AI Alt who at first is blaming Johnny for her death with basically very little reason to change her mind, ends up admitting that to at least a degree she still cares about him. That she wouldn't have even considered helping V if not for him.

So, why the hell does Johnny really feel like he has to change, other than V who's still hurt and holding him accountable to some degree. Rogue still fifty years later came running when he called. Still has fans who see him as an anarchy legend. His music is still beloved. Sure Arasaka threw him out without another thought, but that's Arasaka.

Like, to me it would have been so much more impactful. If yeah, okay he still has some fans who think he's awesome, like the vinyl seller. His music is even still a big hit on classic stations. But the people who knew him, who were hurt by his shitty fucking personality, want nothing to do with him when they realize he's back.

I would have loved if Rogue had just told Johnny to fuck off at first. As much as I love the scene of Rogue being in the room after Johnny's bender. Give me V waking up alone, pissed at Johnny's bender and asking what the fuck he has to show for it. Because all Rogue did when she realized it was him; was throw a punch and tell him to never fucking talk to her again, that she's done with his shit and has been for over fifty years. And now Johnny is hit with Rogue and V both hating his guts at the same time. Give me V who's determined even though Johnny fucked up his promise, they won't fuck up theirs. So, they decide to talk to Rogue, maybe at first they're not even allowed in the Afterlife. Rogue telling him not to let V through unless Rogue has a chance to see them, to check to see if it's really V or Johnny. Because Rogue doesn't want Johnny near her. V having to talk to Rogue and just say, I get it, you hate Johnny and have every right to. Not my favorite person either. But I promised I'd help him axe Smasher, if you're willing to help at all, I'd appreciate it. If not, I understand too. And Rogue having to decide she wants to kill Smasher more than she wants to avoid Johnny, but V better keep him on a tight leash.

Like, i think that alone, actually seeing that yes, when you treat people like shit. They don't want you around, would have been much more pivotal and impactful in his decision to change and let him have to fight harder for it, have to beg V to beg on his behalf.

V having to beg Rogue to agree to the date, he's trying to change, seriously. Just one try and if he's the same dick weasel he was before, beat the shit out of him. Rogue being really fucking resistant, trying to explain to V, this is what he does.. don't let him manipulate you kid.

Just shit like that, him having to beg Kerry to give him a chance to do the reunion show, that it'd be good for both of em. Just god, I want Johnny to more clearly feel the consequences of his actions. Rather than everyone just being like, yeah he's a butthole, but Johnny's just sort of like that and I'd still die for him. Everyone's a Johnny simp and mood, but also, THAT DOESNT LEND ITSELF WELL TO HIM ACTUALLY CHANGING HIS BEHAVIOR

#cyberpunk 2077 #cp2077 #cyberpunk 2077 spoilers #johnny silverhand #rogue amendiares #i can never spell her name

116 notes · View notes

crystalrose555 · 3 years

Text

Slap me, I dare you! pt. 1

“Come on, Marley~” A small voice begged.

“Nope, not gonna happen.”

“But you gotta finish your story!” Another voice demanded.

“Nope, the next part is too scary for little seals. I’ll finish the story when you’re older.”

“Liar!”

Marley stuck her tongue out as the sound of little feet followed her to the living room. It’s been around a month since she returned from her adventure in Devildom and the pups refused to let go of the enticing story she started. While she had stretched the truth and sugarcoated what she could, Marley couldn’t bring herself to talk about everything that happened, she barely could understand it herself. She sighed as she tossed herself on the couch next to her new pelt, giving it a gingered rub before grabbing a clean shirt from the laundry bin. However, she was smothered by the pups that invaded her personal space which caused her to release a large sigh.

“If you don’t tell us, we’ll just have to get the rest of the story from Nixie.” Gell, the oldest, claimed plainly.

“Good luck with that since I didn’t tell Nixie the ending either.” She snorted.

She soon found herself surrounded by the booing of various tones which started to grind against her nerves.

“Knock it off! If you’re not going to help with the laundry then go for a swim and cool your heads!” She commanded firmly pointing to the backdoor.

“Fine, but you’re gonna have to tell us the rest eventually.” Rem, the second oldest claimed while Gell herded the younglings from the room.

“Make sure the little ones don’t go too far from shore and keep an eye out for humans. I’m counting on you boys.”

“Yeah, yeah, what else is new?” Gell called out with a snort as he led the others to the back door.

Once she heard the back door close, Marley sighed heavily in relief.

“Finally, geez, they’re worse than seagulls.” She mumbled as she tried to fold laundry once more.

Suddenly, a hearty knock echoed from the front door, causing Marley to flatten on the couch with a huff, grabbing her pelt.

“Of course, because why not.” She groaned before peeling herself off the couch to answer the door.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Do you think she’ll ever tell us what happened to her?” Rem asked with a sigh as he dug his feet into the warm sand.

“I doubt it.” Gell answered while staring at the younglings playing in the waves.

“I mean, I know she makes up stories to tell us but do you really think she was kidnapped by demons?”

Gell just scoffed as his brother gave a snarky smirk in his direction. He then rested his head in the palm of his hand.

“Yeah right, she probably got caught by some poachers or drunk sailors and had to fight her way off the boat.”

Rem snorted out a laugh in response.

“Or she was fighting a Kraken while doing a deep dive.” He managed to chuckle out.

“Nah, if she did, we would still be eating calamari. On top of that, when was the last time she came home empty-handed?”

“But she didn’t, she got that new pelt, remember?”

Gell sighed before turning to his brother.

“Then where’s her old one? What happened to it? Have you ever heard about a selkie getting a new pelt before? Let alone one that looks that strange.”

Rem blinked in disbelief.

“Woah, you’ve been really thinking about this.”

Gell sighed as he scratched his head through his thick hair. Rem patted his brother on the shoulder and gave a light smile.

“Come on, don’t think too hard about it. Let’s just let Nixie handle it. It’s not like she’s crying for help or something.”

“Get your fucking hands off of me!”

The boys suddenly jumped from their seats as Marley’s loud protest penetrated the house’s walls. Wasting no time, Gell told his brother to wait with the others as he rushed into the house from the back door. In a huff, he scanned the living room and headed toward the front door to see Marley tossed over the shoulder of a blue cloaked figure, banging on his back furiously. Cursing at him to put her down, the stranger simply scoffed as he headed out the door. Gell stood frozen as Marley continued to curse at the black-haired stranger who looked back at her with crimson eyes. His knees nearly gave out from underneath him as he tried to charge forward to help his guardian but he lost his steam as a rush of black feathers blocked his vision. Once the torrent was over, nothing was left but a single black feather laying in the door frame. His knees buckled in as he dropped to the floor and reached for the large feather with a shaky hand.

“Gell, Gell! What’s going on?!” Rem yelled from the back door to his brother.

“Demons are real!!!” Gell answered back with a shrill wail.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Put me down already!” Marley screamed in Lucifer’s ear.

“Gladly.” Lucifer answered as he roughly dropped her on the chair in his office.

Marley rubbed her bottom gingerly while Lucifer crossed his arms and stared at her with steel-like eyes.

“What the hell, Lucifer!? Who stuffed a bee in your collar!?” She protested loudly.

Lucifer didn’t answer, instead, his form slowly shifted as his clothing turned black and his horns pierced his ebony hair. His demonic aura crept upon the floor and encased the ground beneath Marley’s chair in jet-black shadow. Looking down at her feet and taking in the warping surroundings, Marley returned her vision to the now winged demon in front of her. Reading the room, Marley crossed her legs and pulled down her oversized hoodie before addressing Lucifer.

“You seem upset.” She calmly pointed out.

“Upset doesn’t begin to describe how I felt in the past month. Livid is a better word to use.”

“Hmm, I see. Well, it must have been very stressful.”

“You can say that.”

Marley smoothly got up from her seat and took in a gentle breath.

“Well, it’s been wonderful to see you again, give your brothers my love and you can send me back now.”

“Not a chance, especially considering the stunt you’ve pulled upon your first departure.”

“Come on, I have laundry and I want to fold it while it’s still warm.” Marley whined as her shoulders slumped.

“Is that truly your main concern right now!?” Lucifer hissed as his aura grew darker.

“Yeah, considering that I was kidnapped from my home this time! Seriously, what’s with the kidnapping, what the fuck is wrong with a letter!?”

“Don’t change the subject!”

“I’m not changing the subject, I’m just getting to the subtext!”

At this point, Lucifer and Marley’s conversation devolved from yelling to inhuman noises that echoed in the office. Since neither refused to budge, their base instincts came to the surface in the form of demonic growling and seal barking. Unfortunately, the sound of conflict spilled out of the room and attracted unwanted attention as a group of demon brothers poured themselves into the room. Marley turned her gaze only to be engulfed in layers of arguing demons.

“Get off of me, I was here first!” Levi claimed as he tried to push Mammon and Asmo away.

“Like hell, nerd! I ain’t got a chance to hang out with her yet!” Mammon hissed as he pushed back.

Asmo just took the opportunity to hold her closer, kissing her cheeks over and over.

“Mochi, I missed you soooo much, I’ve been so lonely without you~” Asmo cooed between kisses.

“Oi, get your hands off of her, Asmo! Don’t think you can run off with her!” Mammon yelled.

“Yeah, besides I’m her first demon and I get first dibs!” Levi added.

Satan kept close to the door as he watched his brothers tugging the surprised selkie back and forth between them. Finally having enough, an annoyed Marley released a wave of cold that repelled Asmo and Mammon, leaving Levi grasping onto her stubbornly.

“S-See? I’m the w-winner!” Levi claimed through his chattering teeth at his pouting brothers.

“You too, Geek Boy.” Marley claimed flatly as she lowered the temperature again, causing Levi to pull away to warm himself up.

The trio stared at her with puppy eyes only to receive a cold stern glare in return.

“Don’t give me that look, I’ve already had to deal with enough of that today!” She barked at the pouting demons.

She turned her attention back to the eldest brother who remained unfazed from the sudden cold.

“Send me back now, Lucy, and if my bedsheets get wrinkled, I swear to God.” Marley threatened slowly.

Lucifer didn’t even get a chance to respond before his brothers forced their opinions out in the open.

“W-wait, you’re going back already?” Levi questioned with big eyes.

“But you just got back here and you were gone forever!” Mammon added.

“Yeah, there’s so much we need to talk about, Mochi~” Asmo whined.

Marley snapped her gaze back to the trio with a surprised expression.

“I’ve. Been. Gone. For a month! What have you all been doing since I left?”

“Waiting for you to get back...” The trio said in a united pout.

Marley rolled her eyes as she turned back to the waiting Lucifer. Eventually, the trio began to beg Lucifer to let her stay while finding themselves clinging to Marley’s body once more. As the volume continued to rise, Lucifer’s anger began to boil to the point where his dark aura finally overtook the room and grabbed everyone’s attention.

“Can we focus on the true matter of hand?” He claimed coldly.

“And that would be?” She asked.

“Your sudden departure message, the picture that you decided to post on Devilgram.” Lucifer growled.

Marley thought for a moment to remember the picture before a genuine look of surprise came across her face.

“That’s why you have your panties in a bunch? For a picture? On the internet!?”

“It wasn’t a normal picture and you know that.”

Marley snorted out air as she turned her gaze away from the angered demon.

“Ok, so what? I put my pic on Devilgram, big deal.”

“You posted it on Lord Diavolo’s Devilgram, it’s a very big deal!”

Marley just tossed her arms in the air and scoffed at the issue, showing more concern for her laundry than the prince’s profile. Reading her expression, Lucifer’s rage peaked only to break away to an eerie calm that washed over his being. Seeing this, Marley stood on guard of the demon who put away his blackened wings and horns and took out a cold smile.

“What’s with that smile on your face, Lucifer?”

“I’m just thinking about how much school work you have to catch up on.”

“Excuse me?”

“You left in the middle of the term, without notice, so you have to make up all of the missed assignments. And you better maintain those impressive grades you’ve earned while you were sliding around. So you’re not going anywhere until it’s all finished.”

“EXCUSE ME!!?” Marley repeated louder.

However, her concerns were drowned out by the excited shrieks of the clinging demons on her body, all excited by the fact she would be living with them once more.

“Aww, Mochi, you get to live with us again~” Asmo chimed with his brothers in agreement.

“We have so many anime and manga to catch up on, not to mention the behind-the-scenes and director’s cut!” Levi added.

“BUT MY FUCKING LAUNDRY!!!” She screamed.

#obey me shall we date #obey me shall we date?#obey me satan #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me asmodeus #obey me leviathan #obey me asmo #obey me levi #levi #asmo #satan #mammon #lucifer #obey me oc #obey me fanfic #mochi story fanfic #selkie #obey me mc

18 notes · View notes

screamingatanemptyroom · 4 years

Text

I Refuse to be a Named Character pt 7 (End)

Hey everyone! I finished it! Here is the seventh and final part to our nameless heroine’s saga!

Master post Linked here

Enjoy!

___________________________

“… I smelled gas, there was an explosion, and then I woke up in another body, in the Ninth Lord’s manor with Chloe as a slave.” I finished my story, pausing to take a breath, feeling mentally exhausted.

“…” Luke stared at me silently, his expression unreadable.

I felt nervous. “What are you thinking about?”

“Thinking?” He shook his head slowly. “It’s definitely… a lot. This world was a book, a fantasy story in your world?”

“I’m sorry, it’s crazy…”

“You said I was the villain in the story?” Luke reach out and grabbed my hand, interrupting me.

“Y-yes.”

“And in the story you read, I went back and slaughtered everyone in the Ninth Lord’s household. I killed anyone who stood in my way and eventually tried to take the throne by force?” Despite the terrible things he was saying, I couldn’t help but smile at how ridiculous it all seemed.

“I know it’s hard to believe…”

“I believe you.”

“What?” As he answered me in a deadpan tone. I stared at him in shock, “Just like that?”

Luke rubbed his forehead, looking pained.

“Because it’s true.” He finally whispered. “If I hadn’t met you… I without a doubt would have taken that path.”

“Luke…” I wanted to apologize, but wasn’t sure where to start.

“So if every major character in the story dies…”

“Except the main hero and the villain.” I interrupted.

“Except for me and Graham.” He corrected with a slight grin. “Then you thought if you didn’t have a name it would protect you?”

“It’s not about having a name or not. It’s about being important enough to the story to have a name.” I sighed. “Every character in a book has a name, but the ones who are just extras, unimportant side characters, you never learn them. That’s the character I wanted to be.”

“…” Luke stared at me for a moment, and then laughed.

“Why are you laughing?”

“Because haven’t you done the opposite of that?” He counted off on his fingers. “You saved the villain and changed his life. Led the heroes team through their second challenge. Saved the villain again after he was betrayed. Was proposed to and refused by the main villain… and now you’re helping the villain beat the third test and become king?” He stopped, looking up at me with an amused grin. “Am I missing anything?”

“…Technically I also refused the hero’s proposal… and drugged him.” I muttered.

“Pardon?”

Ignoring Luke’s sudden intense stare in my direction, I coughed awkwardly and tried to change the subject. “So does that mean it’s too late for me?” I felt gloomy at the thought, remembering with a shudder Fetter’s undisguised atmosphere of barely controlled violence. “I’m doomed?”

A warm hand grasped my own. “I wouldn’t say that. This world is different then the book you read, right?”

“In some ways, yes, but in others…”

“But it might have changed enough that you can’t be certain that everyone important will die.” He squeezed my hand. “Don’t give up hope yet.”

I thought it over. Maybe he was right. So much had changed already… “Can I still not have a name for now?”

“Sure.” Luke grinned. “Take as long as you need.”

“After the third test. After that, I’ll take on a name.” My voice shook slightly with anxiety at the idea, but I answered him firmly.

He stared at me “You had a name before, right? In your old world? Will you take that name back?”

“No.” I shook my head, thinking of my life before I arrived in this world. “I… was a very different person” A weak person. Dependent on Chloe and her good opinion. Scared to be alone. “I don’t want to be that person again. I’ll choose a new name.”

I met Luke’s eyes as I spoke, surprised to see him blush slightly. Looking away, he mumbled. “Well, when you do want a name… there’s something I call you in my heart…”

Seeing his embarrassed, flushed appearance, I couldn’t help but laugh. “Okay, when we’ve gotten through this safely. I’d love to hear you call my name.”

“…” He nodded slowly, his hand still tightly holding my own. The warmth of his palm seemed to travel up my arm, settling in my chest, my heartbeat increasing as the silence stretched between us.

Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore. “So… the second party.”

Luke let go of my hand, leaning back in his chair to sip his now-cold tea. “When you told me you know how to convince the Nine Lords to support me…?”

“It was because I know how Graham did it in the books.”

“But then no one has the advantage, right?” he frowned as he thought. “Graham’s party can convince the Lord’s, and Fetter has your sister who has the same knowledge as you do.”

“That would be true… if this world were the same as ‘Deadly Crown.’” I rubbed my hands together. “Which is why I have a plan.”

We spent the rest of the night plotting and scheming.

___________________________

Before long, the next party had begun.

Everyone had gathered again, but the tension in the room had greatly increased, to an almost palpable level. I clenched my fists into the skirt of the grey silk gown Luke had prepared for me, the smooth sensation against my palm strangely comforting as I stared at the battleground before me.

There were nine Lords, nine keys, and we needed five of them.

“Are you ready?” Luke leaned in closely, grabbing one of my hands in his own with a grin. Before I could answer, a loud voice interrupted, grabbing the room’s attention.

“His Royal Majesty would like to say a few words!” The servant bowed deeply as he spoke, turning the room’s attention towards the gold encrusted throne and the figure sitting upon it.

It was my first view of the king, Luke’s father. He was older than I imagined, his hair and beard grey. His straight-backed form was draped in deep purple robes, a tall golden crown resting on top of his head. His face would have been considered attractive, I could see certain similarities to Luke and Graham, if not for his eyes.

His eyes were a dark green, filled with a certain arrogance as he stared down at the crowd. But there wasn’t just arrogance…

His eyes were filled with madness.

We’re all crazy.

I remembered Fetter’s words from the last party, and shuddered. I felt the hand holding my own tighten almost uncomfortably. Looking up, Luke’s solemn face stared down at me, before seemingly forcing a reassuring smile. I smiled back, trying to hide my unease, before looking back up to the man on the throne.

“Welcome all to the final test of the remaining heirs to the throne.” The king grinned, appearing unconcerned regarding the fact that the majority of his sons were dead. “Over tonight and tomorrow night, the nine Lords will make their selections of who they believe to be the next best king. Whichever of you three brings five keys at the end of the third party will be allowed to open this chest which contains the next crown and seal.” He gestured to a solid gold chest on the platform next to him which had five locks around its closure. “Good luck.”

I shuddered at the bloodthirsty delight in his eyes as he spoke. “What a terrible person.”

“What happens to him, in the book?” Luke leaned forward, whispering the question in my ear.

Lucien laughed as blood splattered on his face and hands, still clutching the saw and his father’s severed head.

My eyes met a gentle concerned gaze. “He died.” I gave a simple answer, praying he wouldn’t ask for details.

“Good.” He smiled. “Should we start recruiting Lords?”

I returned the expression. “Let’s do it. Remember, Graham’s success in the novel was mostly based on the Lords’ hatred of you and their desire for revenge.”

“But I haven’t been slaughtering indiscriminately, like in the story.”

“Exactly. So a lot of Graham’s persuasive power is gone. And even more so for Fetter if he’s relying on my sister.” I shrugged. “She’ll try to go along with the story, but she doesn’t know how much you’ve changed it.”

“So who do we go after first?”

I pointed. “You mentioned that you saved the Fourth Lord’s daughter after she was kidnapped and returned her home, right? Let’s start there.”

The conversation went smoothly, and just a few minutes later Luke was clutching his first key.

“I can’t believe he handed it over so quickly!”

Luke grinned at my words. “I’m glad I was trying to make sure you wouldn’t be disappointed in me.”

The Ninth Lord handed over his key quickly, having only earned his spot after Luke had captured the previous Lord and imprisoned him.

“I’m grateful that you were merciful at that time.” The young man shook his head slowly. “Given how you were treated, you had every right to take our lives.”

“I know.” Luke took the key from him, a solemn expression on his face. “Thank the nameless slave who saved my life and begged for me to spare the innocent.”

The third key was somewhat of a surprise. It was the First Lord, who approached us first with a reverent expression.

“You are the Nameless One?” To my shock, he ignored Luke, reaching out to shake my hand.

“…Yes….?”

“I am in awe of your teachings, after hearing them from my valet!” His smiled widened. “I too have sought to cast off my name and joins the ranks of safety and obscurity.”

“…”

Luke and I stared at him, unsure how to respond. Laughing brightly, the man thrust a key into Luke’s hand. “Good luck, main character. May one day you find the peace of casting off the spotlight as well.” With those words he walked away, seeming to almost have a spring in his step.

“…”

“Luke…”

“Seems like your cult has spread to the nobility…”

“My cult?”

Luke chuckled, reaching out and pulling me to his side gently. “Even when you aren’t trying, you somehow manage to save me. How can I ever let you go?”

I felt conflicted, equal parts warmth and fear warring within me at his words and touch. I cared for Luke, I wanted to stay by him…

But isn’t this exactly what happens to side character women before they are killed?

Just as I was pondering how to respond, however, a shrill voice called out, and the owner of which strode towards us with a grim expression.

“How dare you show yourself at this party, you whore?”

I smiled at the newcomer. “Lady Lindel, I was just wanting to work off some excess stress. How about I kick you in the face again?”

Her eyes widened. “Have you no shame?”

“Not towards you.” I reached out and grabbed Luke’s arm, recognizing the dark look on his face, squeezing my hand tightly until he looked towards me again. “I’ll take care of this.”

His forehead wrinkled as he stared at me with concern, despite my whispered assurance. “But…”

“Mother!” Graham ran forwards, placing himself between Lady Lindel and myself, his arms spread out as if to separate us. “How dare you speak to my future wife like that?”

“Future wife?”

“Your future what-now?!”

Luke, Lady Lindel and I all spoke out almost in unison at his shocking declaration.

“How dare you seduce my son?!”

I shook my head. “Honestly, I’m more curious at how you raised him, given his ability to make up such fantasies.”

At my words, Graham frowned. “Don’t be shy dear. Once I become king, you’ll be by my side always. No matter what.” His gaze turned cold as he looked towards the woman who had given birth to him. “If you try to separate the two of us, I will kill you.”

Lady Lindel stepped back, shocked. “I am your mother!”

“You aren’t useful to me anymore.” Graham’s voice was laced with the threat of violence. “Feel free to enjoy the fame of being the mother of the future king, but if you stand in the way of me and my chosen person… I’ll make you beg for a merciful death before I’m done. She is mine. No one can take her from me. Not even you.”

I inched away, positioning myself partly behind Luke as the obsession in his voice overwhelmed me.

Graham noticed my actions, his eyes dimming. “Why are you standing so close to my brother, dearest? I’m the only one you need to look at now. The only one you should watch.” His voice slowly raised in volume, as he stepped closer, a hand reaching out as if to push Luke aside. “Why aren’t you at my side? Why aren’t you looking at me?!”

“What is this commotion?” A cold voice stopped Graham in his tracks, his outstretched arm falling to his side even as his eyes continued to be fixated on my face. I glanced over at the source, surprised to see the King who had stepped down from his throne and now stood only a short distance away. “Who was the cause of all this?”

Lady Lindel opened her mouth, her finger already pointing in my direction, but Graham spoke up first. “My mother, Your Majesty. She was targeting my chosen consort and threatening the peace of your third test.”

The hero’s mother turned pale as her husband’s eyes looked her up and down, his face expressionless. “I see.”

“No, Your Majesty, I didn’t…”

The king waved a hand. “Kill her.”

Without hesitation a guard at his side drew his sword, and swung it at the defenseless woman. Her chest caved in at the blow, blood and bone fragments flying through the air as she fell to the ground, blood pooling beneath her and soaking her dress and hair. A few drops hit my skirt, and I took a few steps back in shock. She died quickly, clawing at her wound, her mouth open in a silent scream she couldn’t release.

“There, now it’s quieter.” The king smiled warmly, the expression completely at odds with the violent scene in front of him. “I think we’ll end the party early tonight so that this mess can be cleaned up.” He looked around at his sons. “Five keys have already been given, four keys are still not claimed. One of you has the lead…” His eyes stayed on Luke for a few moments. “So the rest of you will have to work even harder to get the remaining keys.” With that he walked away, never looking back at the body of the woman who once called him husband.

I felt dizzy, staring down at the now dead Lady Lindel.

I had been so happy being at Luke’s side that I had forgotten.

My hands were shaking at my side. I clenched them tightly.

I had forgotten how much I hated this world, that kills people terribly, violently without reason or warning.

I closed my eyes slowly, blocking the disturbing sight from view, but the look of terror on the woman’s face was engraved in my memories.

This is the fate of anyone important enough to the story that meddles in the plot.

“Are you okay?” The gentle question brought me out of my silent panic, but as I opened my eyes it was not the person that I expected to see.

“Leave me alone, Graham.”

The hero’s face was a perfect look of concern and affection, something that would be sure to stir any woman’s heart…

If not for the blood drops splattered on his cheek.

Or the still-warm body of his mother on the floor.

“Don’t worry, Dearest.” He never looked down even once, his gaze focused on me. “She can’t hurt you anymore. No one is standing in our way now!”

“She told you ‘no’ Graham.” Luke stepped in between us, allowing me to let out a sigh of relief as he broke his brother’s line of sight.

“Stay out of this, brother. She gave you back your token. She’ll be mine.”

“She’s no one’s. And if you try to force her, I’m happy to let you join your mother in the afterlife.” The threat in Luke’s voice wasn’t forced. He seemed ready to pull out a weapon at any moment.

“This from the prince who’s terrified of getting his hands dirty?” Graham laughed. “I’m terrified.”

Remind me again who is the hero and who is the villain of this story?

“Fine. I will wait until tomorrow night, and claim my throne and my wife together.”

With these words he turned away, leaving his mother’s corpse on the ground behind him.

“Luke?” I called out quietly, grabbing onto his hand as if it were a lifeline while taking a few slow deep breaths. The old terror, the fear that had gripped me from the moment I had entered this world slowly faded. I wasn’t the same helpless girl that had first arrived. I had changed. I had grown strong.

In response to my anxious call, Luke’s hand tightened on my own. His gaze was stuck to Graham’s retreating back, an air of barely restrained anger and violence hovering around him.

“Let’s go.”

We walked away hand in hand, an uncomfortable silence between us as we both wrestled with our own thoughts.

___________________________

Knock. Knock.

I woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of someone knocking on my window. Lifting my head off my pillow, I looked around my darkened room, trying to get a sense of my surroundings. I was in a small but luxurious room, my strewn belongings on the floor a mismatch for the graceful décor. I was on the ground floor, with the single window facing a rear garden. The courtyard should be protected by patrols of guards, but that didn’t mean it would be impossible for an intruder to reach my window.

Knock. Knock.

The sound repeated. I stood up, clutching my sword that I had stashed at my bedside. Looking through the glass, I saw a familiar face looking at me with a smug expression.

Fetter.

He gestured for me to open up the window. Let me in. I could see him mouthing the words.

I pointed at my sword and then at his throat. Come in and I’ll kill you. I mouthed back.

I turned away, planning to leave the room and find Luke, unwilling to face off with this terrifying person alone.

SLAM!

His palm slapped against the glass, the sudden noise causing me to jump. But as my eyes traced back to the window, it wasn’t the sight of him that stopped me in his tracks, but the parchment in his hands, pressed against the window, a single word written on it on full display for me to see.

I felt the blood drain from my face, my hands tightening on the sword hilt, the leather cutting into my palms. Slowly, I approached the window, opening it and slashing my sword forward at the same time.

“Watch it!” Fetter jumped backwards, but didn’t move fast enough to save the paper, which was cut into two pieces, both halves fluttering to the ground on either side of me. They landed face up, still allowing me to see the word that had been written on it. I stepped on the pieces, grinding them into the dirt, tearing them to shreds beneath my feet. The dirt and rocks in the garden path cut into my feet, but I ignored the pain, focusing on destroying the word until it could no longer be read.

“Do you really hate your name that much?” Fetter was smiling, but the expression looked more like a wild animal baring its fangs.

“…” I stared at him silently, my weapon still held ready. It had caught me by surprise. That parchment he had held had a single name written on it. My name. My old name in my old life. “It’s not my name anymore.”

“Then why did you destroy it?” Fetter laughed quietly. “Seems to me that you care greatly about your old name and it being known.” A long finger tapped his chin as he pretended to think. “I wonder how you would react if I announced your name to everyone?”

“…”

“Then you wouldn’t just be a nameless person anymore, would you?”

“…”

“I wonder how long you would last after that?” He stared past me, as if imagining it. “I would love to see my brothers’ faces when they look at your corpse.”

“…”

“Hey, this is no fun if your don’t fight back!” Fetter leaned forward. “What if I agree to keep it a secret if you agree to betray your precious Lucien?”

BAM!

My left fist connected with the prince’s smirking face before my thoughts could catch up. Fetter flew through the air, stumbling backwards as his back struck a nearby tree trunk. Sliding to the ground, he rubbed his face and stared up at me with an affectionate expression.

“Yes! Just like that! I love your struggling face the most! I’m so happy I could get my hands on the one thing you are the most scared of!” He clapped his hands. “You know, Graham has already become absolutely delusional at the idea of being cared for my someone who doesn’t want to use him for personal gain, while Lucien is at his absolute breaking point. I bet it won’t take much of a push to send him into a killing spree.” He leaned back against the tree, chuckling, wincing slightly as the movement hurt his face. “The more they want you. The more they care… the more I want to break you. And now I know your name.”

“I won’t join you.” I raised the sword to hold it between us. “Name or not.”

“You say that now, but hear me out!” He raised his hands, as if surrendering. “I’ll give you until the party tomorrow. If you agree to join me, send me a message. If not… Well, I hate to keep such a juicy secret to myself, you know? “

I want to kill him.

But even as I stepped closer, I heard the sounds of others close by. A careful glance around showed several archers hidden in the plants around us. Fetter had left nothing to chance. Seeing my gaze, he smiled, using the tree to help himself to his feet.

“Think about it.” He leaned forward, whispering my old name in my ear. “Goodnight.”

And with that he was gone.

___________________________

I stared at the tree where he had sat moments ago, my whole body trembling with rage and fear.

It’s over.

Trying to avoid the plot. Trying not to have a name. All of it would be useless in the end. I couldn’t betray Luke. Couldn’t avoid Fetter.

Should I run?

“This is your fault, you know.”

Chloe’s voice pulled me from my thoughts. Startled, I looked up, to see a dark expression I didn’t recognize on her face. Tired, I slumped down, sitting down against the tree that Fetter had fallen against just moments ago.

Isn’t this area supposed to be secure?

Chloe must have taken my silence as me blaming her, as she spoke up defensively, coming to stand in front of me with a self-righteous air.

“Don’t look at me like that! So what if I told Fetter your name? Your stupid theory of being an unnamed character isn’t even true anyways.” She spread her hands widely. “I’ve been using my name all along, and I’m just fine!”

I sighed. “What do you want, Chloe?”

“You were never supposed to be here.” She stared down at me with increasing intensity. “This was supposed to be my adventure! I was supposed to come to this world and be the heroine. That was the deal!”

The world around me seemed to freeze.

“What do you mean ‘deal’?”

“The ritual was only supposed to be for one person! I was supposed to be important… but you’re getting in the way. Everyone is only focused on you… even Fetter, who should be scheming against the other princes, is wasting his time trying to get your name from me!”

I was standing now, with no memory of how I had reached that position, the sword in my hand trembled in the air, the tip slowly rising to point at my sister.

“The ritual?” My mind raced, as I remembered our last night before we woke up in this book world.

The smell of gas…

“Chloe?” My voice broke on her name. “What did you do?”

“I just wanted to live in my favorite world! Is that such a bad thing?”

“Please… don’t say this.” My free hand reached out and grabbed her shoulder. “Say it was a freak gas explosion that killed us. That this was a just a weird, unexplainable event. That you’re just as confused as me.”

“…”

“Please?”

“I found a ritual, a paper, folded between the pages of my copy of ‘Deadly Crown’. All it took was a small sacrifice.”

“Our lives?”

Chloe shrugged, her voice emotionless. “Well, it actually said I only need to leave my life behind… but I read online that additional sacrifices increase the success rate of rituals like this…”

“…” I couldn’t help it. I threw my head back and laughed. A loud, broken, painful sound. I slowly let go of my sister, stumbling back towards my open window.

“Don’t act so innocent! You always thought you were better than me, Especially after Mom and Dad died…”

I had just been about to jump back into my room, but her words forced me to pause and look back.

“Do you really think anything you say will justify what you’ve done? You’re lucky I don’t just kill you here.”

Her eyes widened. “You wouldn’t dare!”

“I wouldn’t be so sure. This world changed me, for better or worse.” I smiled. “But you, sister dear… you were always someone who belonged in a world like this.”

I thought of Graham face, splattered with his mother’s blood as he happily talked about the future. Of Fetter’s eyes, that looked at each person as an animal to be slaughtered. Of the king, that forced his own sons into a game of death and laughed while he watched them struggle.

“You fit right in.” I jumped through the window, getting ready to close it.

“It’s too late! Fetter already knows your name! You won’t survive this book! Everything will go back to normal! I’ll be the heroine! Everyone will love me! Do you hear me?”

I closed the window, shutting out whatever else she had to say.

I wanted to kill her. I desperately wanted to kill her.

But I wouldn’t.

My last concession to the fact that she was my sister.

“From now on… we’re strangers.”

“Are you sure you don’t want her dead?” A quiet voice behind me caused me to spin around. Luke, dressed in dark clothes, his sword at his side, leaned against the wall, half hidden in shadows, his expression unreadable.

“Let her go. The world is changing, she has very little advantage to her now.” I looked at him closely. “Why are you here?”

“I heard shouting.”

I smiled at the genuine concern I could hear in his voice. “Thank you for checking on me. I’m fine. I’ll just be going back to sleep.”

“… Are you sure?”

His question gave me pause. “What do you mean?”

“Are you sure you’re alright?”

I thought of Fetter’s threat, the name written on the parchment. The time limit he had given me before releasing my name to everyone around us. Of Chloe, her ranting… the truth of our crossing over.

“I’m sure.” I said the words with certainty. No matter how scared I was about Fetter knowing my name, my brief hesitation was over. I wasn’t going to run away. Because no matter how much this world terrified me, no matter how much I hated it. I couldn’t leave it alone.

Because he was here.

Luke has changed so much. He’s no longer the terrifying villain that he was in the story. I have to protect him.

I said goodnight to Luke, lying back down in my bed, my thoughts full of what the next party would bring.

___________________________

“Should I just kill them all?” Luke whispered quietly to himself, staring into the flames of his bedroom fireplace. “Is that the only way to protect her?”

“Your highness?” The masked servant trembled on the floor where he knelt nearby. The bloodlust radiating off the prince was more than even a seasoned soldier like him could handle.

“Is there anything else to report about my brother’s visit to her?”

“No. Just that whatever word he had written on the paper seemed to terrify her.” The servant shuddered as the air seemed to freeze over at his words. “Should I try to recover the pieces?”

“… Destroy them, instead. Do not attempt to read the contents.”

“Yes, Your Highness.” The servant stood to leave, but was stopped by a sword to his throat.

“That is not an idle threat. If you attempt to look at the word written there. I will kill you. Slowly and painfully.”

“…” Too terrified to move, the servant nodded slowly, until the blade slowly was pulled away.

“Good. Then go. Gather everyone, be prepared for anything tomorrow night.”

The servant left, and Luke was left alone.

He stared into the flames; all too aware of the dark turn his thoughts had taken. The idea of his half brother threatening her… scheming against her… was more than he could bear calmly. The antics of Graham hadn’t helped matters at all. He had barely been able to restrain himself from taking the fool’s head right there and then as he babbled on about her belonging to him, marrying him. Everything was closing in around him, but the focus, the danger wasn’t on himself as Luke had expected, but at the person by his side.

What use is this world if it kills her? His hands tightened into fists.

“It’s not too late.” He muttered finally. “I’ll protect her.”

But no matter how much he tried to reassure himself, he couldn’t escape the sense that everything had slipped beyond his control.

___________________________

It was the last party. The final test.

I had a third dress. This one I accepted without much argument, my thoughts preoccupied on the possible dangers ahead. It was grander than the others, a midnight blue, almost black, the same color as Luke’s eyes. He stared at me as I entered the central space in his rooms, his face tinged red as he took in my new appearance.

“The dress… looks amazing on you.” He covered his eyes with his hand for a moment, sighing. “Now I really don’t want to go to this party.”

“It’s probably a little late to run away.” In more ways than one.

“I guess so.” Sighing again, he held out his arm. “Ready to go?”

“One second.” I stopped in front of him with a smile. “I’m missing a bracelet to go with this dress. Think I can wear yours?”

Luke paused, his eyes wide with shock. Then slowly, a smile blooming on his face, he took the dark beads off of his wrist, sliding it over my own with a gentle touch.

“It was always yours. I was just holding it for you.” He stared down at the bracelet, his eyes worried. “Are you sure?”

I smiled. “I’m sure.”

“Your goal? Of being away from all this?”

The brief moment of panic I had yesterday, where I considered running away crossed my mind.

“I guess I can’t just leave you alone.” I grabbed his arm, and pulled him out the door. “Let’s go. We have some keys to get.”

___________________________

The party started off well, although the atmosphere was even more strained than the previous two. Everyone began grouping on different sides of the ballroom depending on which prince they had aligned themselves with. As Luke gained another key, bringing our total to four, I felt a moment of satisfaction at the size of the crowd gathering in our corner.

It’s working, we’re changing the book! I felt excited, albeit still anxious to get the night over with. But despite the party dragging on, there were no moves from Fetter or Chloe. Finally, I had had enough.

“Just one more left. Luke, You approach the Fifth Lord and I’ll try the Eighth.” I gave him a gentle push in the right direction.

Luke stood his ground. “I don’t think we should separate…”

“We’ll be ten feet apart, it will be fine.”

“…” With an unhappy expression, Luke allowed himself to be pushed away, and began talking to the Fifth Lord and his group.

Now if things follow the rules of dramatic plot, now that I’m alone…

“So have you made your decision?” Fetter whispered in my ear, causing goose bumps to run down my arms. Shuddering, I stepped away, putting some distance between us.

“Your Highness, I’m afraid I’ll have to reject your offer.” I reached a hand into the pocket of my dress, where I had hidden a blade from the prying eyes of the Royal Guard. “You may have my name. But I refuse to betray Luke. Not even for that.”

“Is that so?” Fetter didn’t look disappointed at my rejection. If anything, he seemed excited. “I’m so happy! I was hoping you would struggle. It will be more fun this way, anyways.” With a quick turn, he walked away without another word, leaving me staring worriedly after him.

This isn’t good. I thought he was just going to announce it... why is he backing away instead? Ditching my plan of drawing out the villains, I kept my hand on my knife and walked quickly back towards Luke.

“Why?” At the forlorn call behind me, I turned around, not wanting to present my undefended back.

Graham stood there, his eyes wide and slightly unfocused, his whole body seeming to shake with rage and grief.

“Why won’t you love me?”

“Your Highness…”

“You told Fetter your name? You wouldn’t tell me no matter how many times I asked.” He must have been hiding in the crowd, and overheard my conversation with Fetter. Graham stepped closer, and I stepped away, glancing over to where Luke had been standing. To my dismay a crowd had gathered between us, separating him from my sight.

“Where are you looking? Why aren’t you looking at me?”

I clutched my knife harder, ready to pull it out at a moment’s notice. “Fetter learned an old name of mine from Chloe. It’s not my name anymore.”

“He knows more about you than me, even though you’re mine.” Graham shook his head back and forth.

I sighed, running my left hand through my hair, my right still holding onto my hidden knife. The movement caught Graham’s eyes though, and his gaze focused on my wrist.

“Lucien’s token? You’re wearing it again?”

“Yes.” It wasn’t like I can lie at this point.

“But you were going to marry me!”

“I never said I would marry you. In fact, I’ve only stated the opposite.” I backed away again. “Come on, Graham. You have a whole group of women who are dying to marry you. Just pick one of them. You don’t need me!”

“I don’t need you?” His smile was off, his voice coming out low like a growl as he stepped closer. “I’ve told you about how I’ve struggled. How everyone tries to use me. Only you were different… you were special… but WHY WON’T YOU LOOK AT ME?!!!”

He moved forward again, and this time I pulled out my knife, holding it defensively in front of me. Graham paused, staring at the weapon with confusion.

“Do you think I’m going to hurt you?”

“It doesn’t really seem like you have good intentions right now.”

He was shaking now, tears forming in his eyes. “Why would I hurt you? We’re getting married. We love each other. I’ll be king, and you’ll be Queen at my side. “ He reached out a hand. “Come with me. We’ll be together… from now on.”

“If you step closer, I will kill you.” I spoke slowly and calmly, meaning every word. I wouldn’t hesitate. The possession in his eyes was too terrifying to not take seriously.

But before Graham could respond, I felt a pain in my back and chest, and the bloody tip of a short sword emerged from the front of my dress.

“Wha…?” I turned around, seeing Chloe’s triumphant smile.

“Go back home, sister! You never belonged here! I’m the heroine, not you!”

Is this it?

My vision was blurring, my legs growing weaker underneath me. I saw Fetter standing in the crowd, a gleeful expression on his face.

After all that I tried to avoid the plot of this world.

Graham was on his knees, screaming.

For years, I refused to have a name.

I crumpled to the floor, lying on my side. I couldn’t breathe, it hurt too much. I could feel my heart pounding in my ears.

I didn’t follow Luke back then, even though I’ve always loved him.

Blood was pooling under me, the sensation warm against my rapidly cooling skin.

But in the end, I had a name. I changed the plot. I tried to stay by Luke’s side. I should have known this would happen.

Luke was racing towards me, his hand outstretched. His face was distorted, a furious look I had never seen before coloring his features. He was shouting something… a name?

Maybe it’s the name he wanted to give me.

He was getting closer, but my vision was darkening, I couldn’t keep my eyes open. I was just… so… tired.

I wanted to hear the name you gave me, Luke. I’m sorry.

Everything faded into darkness.

___________________________

“NOOOOOO!” Luke reached out a hand towards the woman he loved, but he could already tell it was too late. Her eyes had glazed over, her breathing had stopped. Trembling, he reached out a hand to gently touch her wrist, right next to the bracelet he had so happily placed on her earlier, but he couldn’t feel a pulse.

“No.” It was a quiet denial. He reached out and touched her neck, praying silently.

But there was nothing.

She was gone.

“It worked! Now’s she’s gone back and the plot can return to normal!” Chloe cheered, the sound grating on Luke’s ears.

“…shut up.”

“What did you say?” Chloe grinned, putting her still blood-stained hands on her hips. “I’m the heroine of this world. She was just getting in the wa-”

SLASH!

Without hesitation, Lucien grabbed his beloved’s sword that she had dropped, and cut the still smiling girl’s head off.

Thud.

The decapitated head fell to the floor beside him, but he barely glanced at the features so similar, but so different to the woman he had wanted to protect.

“You shouldn’t have touched her.”

“Your highness!” A guard tried to restrain him, but only had time to scream before his throat was cut and he was pushed away.

“There’s the family madness!” Fetter smiled, stepping closer. “This was what I was hoping to see. My dear brother, so unrestrained.”

“The family madness?” Lucien stared down at his bloody knife for a moment. “I suppose I have it. I’ve restrained it for so long, hoping to preserve the remnants of the soul she saw that day.” He leapt onto the stage, and gave a loud whistle. Immediately his men flooded the ballroom, swords drawn.

“But what use is a soul, if she’s already gone?” Grabbing his father, the king by his hair, Lucien watched him with a stony expression.

“Let me go! I am your ruler!” The older man struggled, but to no avail.

“It was your test that kept me from running away with her.”

SLASH!

The king’s corpse fell to the ground. He stepped past Graham, who was still kneeling, rocking back and forth with his face buried in his hands, and approached Fetter.

The younger prince backed away, the glee from his face fading, slowly replaced by the terror of what he had unleashed.

“Now brother, come to your senses! You’ll lose everything!”

“I already have.”

“But I’m… family!” Fetter glanced around anxiously. “Your brother! Do you really think you can kill me- “

STAB!

Fetter screamed in agony as Lucien silently stabbed him in the stomach, pulling out his sword to stab him again. Finally his screams turned to whimpers, and he slowly curled up in the pool of blood and bile that drained from his many wounds.

Finally, having killed those he needed to kill, Lucien turned towards his beloved once more. He knelt on the floor, ignoring the blood soaking his pants, and slowly gathered her in his arms, hugging her to himself.

“The truth is… you were never unimportant. You were never a nameless side character. From the moment you threw yourself in front of that whip to save a defenseless boy, I had named you in my heart. “ He laughed, an agonizingly sad sound.

“I’m sorry. I know I should have just let you go. But I never truly did. I was so excited to see my bracelet on your wrist. Even when you gave it back… I was just happy you cared enough to come after me to protect me in the desert. I told myself that I was happy if you were safe and far away, but the truth is, I selfishly wished you were by my side.” Tears obscured Lucien’s vision. “I was so happy when you came back to me. Joined this final test at my side. So foolishly happy that you chose to wore my token again.”

Lucien reached out a hand, brushing a blood soaked strand of hair away from his beloved’s face.

“Should I tell you your name? It’s a little late, I know… too late for everything. But I have to say it at least once right?”

“…” The terrified crowd watched on silently, held at the blade by Lucien’s men, but he ignored them.

“The word was first told to me by my mother. It’s from the desert, a term for one’s soul mate. She told me that I could call the love of my life by this name, because it meant ‘beloved.’”

Leaning in, Lucien whispered quietly.

“I love you, Amia.”

Laying her down gently, Lucien stood up and shouted towards the sky.

“IF THIS IS A STORY, A FANTASY, THAN THERE HAS TO BE AN AUTHOR. CAN YOU HEAR ME? YOU GOT IT WRONG!! SHE IS NOT A NAMELESS SIDE CHARACTER! SHE HAS A NAME! SHE CHANGED EVERYTHING! “

He raised a fist towards the ceiling. “YOU HEAR ME?! SHE’S NOT A MINOR CHARACTER YOU CAN KILL OFF LIKE THIS! SHE’S THE MAIN CHARACTER! THE ONLY ONE THAT MATTERS!”

There were light mutters from the crowd at his crazed shouting, but he continued to ignore it.

“If you don’t save her, than it’s because you don’t care about this world.” Smiling, he picked up his blade once more. “So I’ll destroy it. I’m the villain right? This world you made. I’ll kill everyone and everything, and set the world on fire. What use is this awful broken world you written if you can’t even keep her here?! I’LL DESTROY IT!”

___________________________

“...I’LL DESTROY IT!”

I watched silently in a pure white space, all my focus on the floating orb which showed Luke as he threatened to destroy the world.

- It seems like you are loved very much, Amia.

A bodiless voice spoke up, seeming almost amused.

“I’m glad you find this funny.”

-Poor Lucien, he tried so hard to be the hero for you, but it looks like he’ll become the villain again.

I stared at his face, my heart breaking, my hand reaching out on its own as if hoping to touch him.

-You can still save the world, you know?

I paused, looking around me. “What do you mean?”

- I mean you have a choice. The voice sighed. This world is broken; I’ve known it since I first made it. The royal family was supposed to bring peace and order… instead they became mad and twisted, killing for sport or no reason at all. Even the more reasonable ones like Graham and Lucien became broken, unable to trust and destroying those around them.

“You’re the author?”

- In a way. I made this world… but when I realized it was broken, it was too late. So I put the world’s story in a book and distributed it across multiple worlds.

“Why?”

- I was looking for you.

“... Sounds like a scam.”

- Well, I was looking for someone like you. Someone kind, caring, but tough enough to take on this world. Someone who could save them. Someone to become the heroine they needed.

“That’s why you put the ritual in the book?”

- It was supposed to only appear near those who had the qualifications to help. I can only assume that Chloe switched your copy with hers. And although one did need to give up their life to cross over, there was nothing about “powering” the spell with the souls of innocent bystanders.

“That was just her selfishness.” I shook my head. “Now what did you mean by saying that I could still save this world?”

- I mean, you have a choice. The voice paused, and two orbs showed in front of me. I looked at the first orb, it showed me in a hospital bed on a ventilator.

- You never fully died in your original world.

“Does that mean Chloe…?”

- No, she was standing right by the source of the explosion. She’s gone for good. You’re different. With my power I can return you to your old life. You’ll have to recover, of course, but you can eventually live a normal life, forget this ever happened.

I stared at the picture of myself. feeling a faint sense of longing. Electricity, modern food. Toilets. Not worrying about someone killing me every five minutes…

“What’s my second choice?”

- You can return to his side. Live in Armaria. Stay by Lucien, keep him from destroying the world.

“Aren’t I dead there?”

- I can fix that… But if I do, your body in the old world will die. I’ll use the energy left there to bring you back in my world.

I stared at the two orbs.

A normal life… It had been everything I had ever wanted. I had always hoped for a day when I could be allowed to return to my old home. And here it was, given to me on a silver platter.

But I couldn’t shake my thoughts of the second world. Of my cabin in the woods. Blade. The group of nameless servants who were so excited to talk about being background characters. Could I really be okay never seeing them again?

And what about Luke? Could I really leave him behind? I thought of the name that he had given me.

Amia.

Beloved.

I liked it.

It was never a question, was it? I turned towards the second orb with a smile. “I want to go home. To Armaria.”

- Are you sure? You can’t change your mind once you decide.

I stared at Luke’s face through the orb. “I’m sure.”

- Great! Then prepare yourself for some deus ex machina!

With a great flash of light, the empty world around me disappeared.

___________________________

“LUKE!” Luke glanced up as Blade pushed herself through the crowd, kneeling at his side.

“Blade? How did you know...?” Blinking rapidly, he shook his head. “You’re too late… she’s…”

“SHE’S NOT DEAD YOU IDIOT!” Smacking the back of his head, Blade reached out and positioned herself over to look at the wound. “The dagger missed her heart it looks like. But she’s been poisoned.”

“But I checked her pulse…”

“There are poisons that slow the pulse to an almost undetectable level. It’s been less than a minute since she stopped breathing. We can save her. “ She turned around. “Slash! I need an antidote!”

The scorpion leader stepped forward. “Why should I?”

“She holds your Tarif. Plus, I’ll beat you until you agree.”

“Fine!” Slash shuddered, handing over a vial. “Violent woman.”

Blade forced the potion into her mouth removing the knife in her back and covering the holes with a special dressing to prevent air leakage.

“It’s amazing that this knife managed to miss the critical structures.”

Luke smiled, looking up at the ceiling. “Our Amia must have someone looking out for her.”

___________________________

“Come on, you’re so slow!” Grabbing my bow, I left the cabin, walking out towards the woods.

“Why are you in such a hurry, Amia?” Luke followed me out, smiling quietly as he packed away his own weapons.

“If we don’t go early, all the good game will be hiding. This is our first vacation in forever and I want to enjoy it!” Grabbing his hand, I pulled him along. “Move faster!”

“As my Queen commands!” He chuckled, speeding up his pace.

“I’m still not used to that.”

“The title? We’ve been married for six months now.”

“I grew up in the suburbs, okay? Cut me some slack!”

Luke grinned. “Would it be better or worse if I called you the Queen of the Desert?”

“Worse. Definitely worse.” I sighed as I walked, wanting to hide my face in my hands. Blade and Slash had conquered the remaining Spider camp, handing their Tarif over to me. When I asked why, I had only received a thumbs up and a new title of Queen.

“Blade only wants the best for her adopted daughter. She won’t just leave you the Serpent Camp when she can hand you the whole desert.”

I sighed quietly. “I feel like my life has become the opposite of the nameless side character I was supposed to be.”

“The Queen of the Desert? Queen of the Western City? Married to Lucien, the villain of ‘Deadly Crown’? Not to mention the leader of your very own cult of the Nameless.”

“Shouldn’t I be disqualified from that last one, since I have a name now?”

“They’re okay with it, since they’ve concluded you’re a main character.” He rolled his eyes. “Especially as Graham has joined and become their most ardent member.”

“Ugh.”

“Amia?” Luke’s hand grasped my own, as he showed a rare, nervous expression. “Do you regret it?”

“Regret giving my old life up? Coming here instead?”

Luke nodded silently. In answer, I leaned forward, kissing him for a few long seconds.

“I could never regret it.”

And I didn’t. It was not the life I envisioned. Not one I would have originally chosen… at least based off of reading the books. And although I didn’t live a normal life in my old world, or the life of a nameless side character in this world, I got something even better.

The life by the side of those I loved.

#writing #fantasy #rebirth #violence #death #revenge #intrigue #love #names #the end

509 notes · View notes

my-darling-boy · 4 years

Note

im wondering if you think that edward brittain and geoffrey thurlow were lovers. because i know the movie implied that perhaps there was something more there, bu from reading the book as well as 'letters from a lost generation' i didnt get that impression. just wondering your thoughts!

Right okay I’m about to InfoDumpᵀᴹ because the love Geoffrey and Edward had is one of the main things that got me into learning about WWI years ago!!! So allow me to shed some light on these boys specifically!

So firstly, Geoffrey Thurlow was inserted swiftly into Edward Brittain’s life and the two got on INSTANTLY in early 1915 after Edward was commissioned to the Sherwood Foresters. For a long time, Victor Richardson had been Edward’s trusted friend, as of course they knew each other from their Uppingham days, but it’s apparent in Testament of Youth, Letters From a Lost Generation, and the other works by the family’s historian Mark Bostridge, that Geoffrey and Edward became VERY close VERY fast. And while it could be written off as a friendship..... there is a lot of evidence that, even ignoring my own conjectures, is hard to dispute the fact that their relationship was more than friendship, even if it never became sexual or explicitly physical.

On top of the two becoming quickly inseparable, they also frequented expression of their desire to be with one another while the other was away, Thurlow often sending Edward very affectionate and borderline romantic letters and postcards on a whim, even sending him one rather Cryptic postcard on Valentine’s Day one year. The two insisted on doing many activities together, and many found them a perfect fit, Geoffrey a rather dreamy, expressive, and emotional young man, while Edward was practically the opposite; it’s suggested that they adored each other so much due to their personalities complimenting the other’s quite well: Edward was able to provide Geoffrey with reassurance and That Officerly Gay Protectiveness, while Geoffrey’s understanding and soft demeanor provided an open window for Edward to share his insecurities when he couldn’t show them to the other men. And while it could be said that Edward was more hesitant to be with Geoffrey in such a manner, even if Geoffrey felt no personal conflict, the two wanted to be very, very personal.

Both boys stayed connected regularly, no matter where they were, through intimate correspondence. As I mentioned, a good majority of their letters involve either one of them, but specially Geoffrey, longing poetically to be out in nature with the other or wishing they were together, but not at present, not wanting the other to be in harm’s way. A lot of Geoffrey’s letters to Edward, as I’m sure you’ve noticed, are signed “Him that thou knowest thine” or just “thine”. Of course this means “yours” or “you who know that I am yours”. And while this sort of thing, at least in my latter wording, was not an uncommon expression between men at this time, it’s..... the first way it’s worded that surprises me. For lack of a more eloquent explanation, it’s Gay as Hell to be THAT poetic to your new soldier friend, even for 1910s standards. One might ask why he simply wouldn’t just write “yours” instead of adding the special style, and making the extra effort to imply “not only am I yours, but you know as well as I do that I’m yours”. One might even ask if it was to refer to a special meeting, or inside romantic reference, such as the way in which Roland and Vera signed their own letters to each other, “au revoir”. Literally one letter from Thurlow to Edward simply ends with “In Life, in Death, Yours”.

There were also several letters marked “private” sent to the Brittain residence from Geoffrey in the span between 1915 to 1916 when Geoffrey would have occasionally been on leave, and could write whatever he damned well pleased to Edward without fear of the military censors poking around. What makes this crucial evidence to support they were having homosexual correspondence is the fact that Vera burnt the private letters before she died to protect the boys’ wishes to keep them private, if not by Edward’s direct request for her to do so, something which by itself doesn’t seem so odd given the fact letters were burnt all the time for a number of reasons, but is especially compelling given the fact other evidence makes a strong case that they were together. What was contained in those letters is lost to history, but they shouldn’t be confused with the letters taken off the censors which later may have began the domino effect to Edward’s untimely death, as that was in 1918, over a year after the death of Geoffrey, and were about different homosexual matters with other ranks at the time.

Additionally: while Edward’s reaction to Geoffrey’s death is argued not to have been as strong as his response was to, say, Victor’s death, as support for the fact he didn’t actually care much for Thurlow, he wrote to Vera “I have been afraid for him for so long and yet now that he is gone it is so very hard—that prince among men with so fine an appreciation of all that was worth appreciating and so ideal a method of expression . . . Always a splendid friend with a splendid heart and a man who won’t be forgotten by you or me however long or short a time we may live. Dear child, there is no more to say; we have lost almost all there was to lose . . .” In my own mind, this letter is just the tip of the iceberg to how he felt. It’s clear that Geoffrey’s death had a greater toll on him in the long run, while Victor’s death seemed to affect him immediately. I can only assume this is due in part to Edward being so emotionally invested in Geoffrey versus Victor, and that Victor’s death evoked an immediate and present sadness, while Geoffrey’s was so difficult to handle, he couldn’t think but to react in a collected but sorrowful manner, one I feel was meant to conceal just how heartbroken he was, as though he was worried if he showed as much outward devastation as he showed for Victor, he feared one may speculate why he held so much sadness for Geoffrey...as though he was afraid people knew what was between them.

Geoffrey’s death seemed to CRUSH Edward, leading him down this path of dark despair and depression following his passing, and it lead to a lot of misdirected tension between he and his sister at times, and he subsequently turned far more reserved, uncommunicative, and apathetic than ever before. I’d even go so far as to say that Edward might have felt guilty about his own relations with Geoffrey after he died, possibly believing he could have done more to be closer with him, or felt guilt in having distanced himself from him in some way later in 1917. And after such events, he showed more distaste for the war, more lack of emotion towards his own life and its worth, and his letters often took a downhearted turn towards the end.

When he died, Geoffrey’s letter, the last one he sent to Edward in 1917, was found in his breast pocket, and I would assume this to be over his heart. It ends by saying “Till we meet again, Here or in the Hereafter,” and it’s speculated he carried this ever since the day Geoffrey died, and, most defintely, died with it close to his heart.

By my own conjecture, I say that Edward felt that he was both conscious of and without objection to his homosexuality, most likely because it was suggested in private schools at the time (take Evelyn Waugh’s comments on being interested in boys at boarding school as a phase that one grows out of) that it was a passing curiosity, and that such interests would diminish when one reached adulthood. I felt that he did romantically love Geoffrey, even if it never had the opportunity to become sexual or physically intimate. And because our own understanding of homosexuality did not exist at the time for him to have any model from which to reference comprehension of his own sexuality, I believe, that like most of his queer contemporaries, he had a rather ambiguous—near procrastinating—outlook on his own sexual orientation and relationship status, along with his view concerning his future life and possible wife.

The war created a near diversion from having to consider the possibility of being with a woman, and he could instead allow to let his homosexuality subconsciously flourish while being in the presence of so many men, and allow his romantic love for Geoffrey to remain raw and intimate without having to confront the implications such a future would hold for him socially, all due to the war being the only thing on his present mind. And furthermore, I firmly believe that Geoffrey held a deep admiration for him: he looked up to him as well as loved him. Though he was training to be a priest, he seems to express no distaste—rather the opposite, based on his letters to Edward—for flirtatious relations between men, and remains such a gentle and deeply poetic figure to Edward I have only seen reflected in that of homosexual bonds. In my opinion, being gay myself, and with having delved into scattered studies of male affection in earlier centuries, they were in love. It’s a story I so often encounter between men of their class in this era, specifically during the war.

I will also admit that, for some reason, from standing afar, the recollection by itself of what information is told to us about Edward and Geoffrey is rather.... timid...in some instances amid the background of Vera and Roland, of Malta and France. And the ones provided alone from most books are merely the “friendly” letters. The ones I’m sure we would really like to see were lost on Geoffrey’s side and burned on Edward’s side, and what others remain are held in private facilities and university archives, and only available in brief mentions online. However, looking closely, reading sections purely between the two boys, isolating only their letters, their language, and even digging further into works written from Mark Bostridge and other minor historians piecing together dots not having previously been connected, what love they shared feels warm and strong, if not simultaneously distant and foggy at times: such is the way the world remembers homosexuals unfortunately.

These boys never got the oppertunity to be with each other in the way we would like to see historic gay people, the way we swoon over the way Maurice and Clive or Alec were together in Maurice for instance. Geoffrey and Edward were in the middle of war, and there’s both so much poor documentation on homosexuals and so little chance in the chaos to a have a ditch-lectures-to-go-on-a-motorbike-ride-into-a-meadow relationship we expect to see, compared to other circumstances where it would obviate the way they felt about each other. But because of the war, it made it even harder to progress gay relationships due to combat, death, anxiety, and just a general lack of space and oppertunity to be with a man all the time without someone seeing.

I later discovered a while back this historian’s articles about the lives and intertwining of Edward and Geoffrey and they are packed with a brilliant compilation of sources and their own take on the relationship, which I was quite excited to have the pleasure of reading, for we share very similar viewpoints on the matter and even caught onto hints and details during our own reading of the sources no other readers seemed to talk about!

Edward’s || Geoffrey’s

What fragments which are left to us, if we understand just how forcibly hidden life had to be for these men, letters marked “private” and passing remarks of desiring to walk among trees with someone special speak of a louder and more profound story buried deep beneath them. It’s important to take into account that many of the known gay relationships we have record of today are not as well documented as Oscar Wilde. Sometimes, the only record we have of their love lost to time is held in the way it’s held here, in the signing of “Thine”.

I can only hope now that since they could not hold each other in life, that in death, they could finally be together.

Anyway, there’s my Novel, thanks for the ask!

#I love them sm #testament of youth #vera brittian #edward brittain #geoffrey thurlow #asks #long post #wwi

354 notes · View notes

fmdminhee · 3 years

Photo

task. #famedrstask1.

notes: word counts are included with each individual answer! completed for +5 tracker points.

assuming your muse has changed in some way, be it internally or as a result of a change of the external factors around them, how is your muse different? these can be as small as an opinion on a song they hadn’t released previously or as big as a major change in their background. word count: 261.

minhee’s childhood prior to becoming a trainee is pretty much the exact same as before the restructuring. dance prodigy says fuck u crazy dance mom, i’m not gonna be maddie ziegler, and ends up becoming an idol. she started training a year earlier than before though, so she had a slightly longer training process! i think the most obvious change to everyone else is her faceclaim, which is now lee hyeri. buuuut if you take a look at her pages or app or anything else, you’ll see that she’s now a main dancer, lead vocal & rapper, rather than being a main dancer, lead rapper & vocal! this was sort of a selfish change on my part, because i wanted to open her up to some opportunities for solo work that wouldn’t have suited her before because of her position, but that would’ve fitted more along the lines of what i initially imagined for her image than the options actually available to her. she’s also been a lot happier for a lot longer, because instead of debuting with a concept she hated, minhee got to debut in ... an age appropriate group! if you look here, you can see some examples of what i thought of when thinking of minhee’s ideal group and ... yeah, lily lines up with that pretty well. not perfectly, but pretty well. she’s still dealing with her issues surrounding her family, her sexuality and her fear of aging, but for the most part, minhee’s a lot more settled, or even satisfied, in terms of her career.

what does your muse think of their company and their group? word count: 255.

let’s start with lily, minhee’s beloved. she loves her members, she loves the overwhelming majority of their songs, and she’s proud as hell of the legacy they’ve built up for themselves so far. to be honest, sometimes she it just hits her that oh shit, she’s minnie from lily! and oh shit, they’re basically the biggest girl group ever. no one tell her that candy inherited nation’s girl group or that ultraviolet are taking over the world, let her be dumb. no, but genuinely, she can’t believe the scale of what they’ve achieved sometimes. she doesn’t totally feel like she deserves all the love she gets. then there’s the company behind it all; bc entertainment. she wonders all the time if her mother would’ve went along with everything if it was any other company that minhee came home with a callback from. probably not. for that alone, she’s thankful. she sort of dislikes being portrayed as perfect and untouchable -- more silly and down to earth than a lot of her peers under the company, but still. it’s just part and parcel of bc’s status. the reason it gets to her is that she’s very much not that perfect girl next door that the company wants her to be, and she puts a lot of pressure on herself to live up to it. as such, minhee probably doesn’t take advantage of all of the resources being under bc allows her access to as much as she should, choosing instead to just grin and bear it.

is your muse on their first contract or their second? if they’ve renewed, what were their feelings around that at the time and what were their hopes for their second contract? if they haven’t renewed, what are their current thoughts on the end of their eventual first contract? word count: 260.

minhee is on her second contract. she renewed with bc in 2019 for a further seven years, which doesn’t feel like that long of a time. seven years seemed like a liftetime when she signed her debut contract in 2012, but it went by pretty fast for her. finding out what the rest of her members were doing was the most important thing for minhee when choosing whether or not to renew. with lily’s status in the industry, the money she made over the previous years, and the wealth belonging to her family, she felt confident that she’d be okay no matter what happened. a safety net. but her preference was always going to be to continue with the rest of lily if possible. she wouldn’t have forced the issue if the others didn’t want to though ... at least not on purpose. knowing minhee, she probably would’ve been crying all over the place and ended up messing with everyone’s plans like that. maybe she would’ve put out an ad like, “nation’s girl group in search of new agency. must be willing to take in four fully grown women and meet all of their demands.” as for the terms in her second contract, minhee was looking for some more royalties and some reassurance that lily would continue to receive the levels of resources and investment that they were already receiving from the company, as well as more opportunities for her to grow as a soloist. she didn’t want them falling by the wayside. she’s too young to be washed up!

what are your muse’s goals and motivations? word count: 259.

in terms of her career, minhee actually has some pretty lofty ambitions. her top two focuses are solo music and modeling, and they’re basically split an even 50/50. she wants to continue releasing upbeat solo songs, but as for the music itself, aside from some dabbling in lyrics, she’s happy to leave it to the professionals. her primary interest, aside from the obvious performance and promotion aspects, lies in developing her own choreography. for her own songs firstly, but also for lily’s songs, and maybe even others within the company. outside of bc remains to be seen. she’s been really inspired over the years by a lot of the dancers and choreographers that she’s worked with, even from before entering bc, and she’d like to inspire someone else some day too! and modeling ... i can’t lie, minhee just likes looking pretty and getting free stuff, so she’d like to do some more of that.

as for her personal life ... messy as hell! she still really wants to find love but still only goes looking for it with fuckboys. she wants to get closer with her dad and her extended family, but is finding it difficult to pull off while also keeping her mother at arm’s length. she also can’t help antagonising her mother because she’s a dumb brat. i don’t think minhee realises it yet, but she’s slowly coming to a place of self acceptance too. when she does realise it, i think that’s something that will really motivate her to be the best she can be.

what is one conflict, internal or external, that your muse is currently dealing with, has recently dealt with, or will need to deal with in the future? word count: 262.

i’ve talked in depth about minhee’s conflict over her sexuality here, which all still holds true, but i want to take this opportunity to talk about something else very close to my heart concerning minhee that i’ve mentioned once or twice in passing but never explicitly. minhee is autistic. she just doesn’t know it yet. some fun mun trivia is that i’m autistic! but, as is typical for a lot of afab people, i was basically an adult by the time it was diagnosed. you might say, hey sucy, stop projecting on your muses, but i say no! write what you know and all that. it’s kind of ironic though, because not even i realised minhee could very well be autistic until i’d written her for two years, and deciding took me another. and now she has to go through the diagnostic process again in character, smh me. anyways, yeah, minhee is probably going to have it suggested to her pretty soon while seeking some help for her anxiety about aging, and after that she’s gonna have to recontextualise her whole life because it’s truly like a lightbulb moment for a lot of people, myself included. suddenly everything that was weird to you growing up makes sense. it’s kind of a lot to wrap your head around, and would be for anyone, so writing about that for minhee is going to be interesting. i mentioned above that she’s been kind of moving towards self acceptance anyways, and i think this will be a very big turning point for her on that journey.

if your muse has established career claims, what are their thoughts on their career so far? if they do not, how do they feel about not having individual activities yet? what would they like to do in the future, if anything? if they don’t have ambitions for individual activities, explain why. word count: 277.

she does! her individual activities consist of modeling jobs and a couple of variety show cast positions, because i felt that these were the avenues she would’ve been pushed down up until more recently in her career, when her interest in choreographing for herself would’ve really taken off. minhee has really enjoyed her career so far. she feels settled within the entertainment industry, and that type of security is so sexy to her. the less chance that her mother can say i told you so the better.it’s kind of a big difference for her in terms of character actually, but this incarnation of minhee likes being on variety shows! she’s actually confident appearing on them! this is because of the difference in concept between lily and lipstick. lipstick’s minnie’s confidence took a long time to build up. lily’s minnie’s didn’t. she’d like to be on more variety shows in the future, especially something competition based, like dancing with the stars ... or masterchef, for a laugh, because she’d be the first person eliminated. and then, there’s the modeling. as mentioned a couple of questions ago, it’s something she wants to focus pretty tightly on going forward. her favourite brand that she’s been the ambassador for so far is crocs. she loves her crocs. she has, like, five different colours. crocs, please sign minhee again. working with etude house and kloud was pretty cool too though. sometimes she’s still able to swing free beers when she goes out. so, going forward, she wants to continue with those types of gigs, as well as pursuing more solo music and developing her skills as a choreographer, like i mentioned earlier!

#famedrstask1 #yes i did this instead of getting dowoon's intro ready!!! but ... now i'll go do that please love my silly middle child's changelog!!#yep . minhee's now the middle child of my kids that's crazy

3 notes · View notes

patandpran · 4 years

Text

The Nuisance and the Handsome Prince - A Sarawatine Medieval AU - Chapter 2

Tine is an aspiring Squire who has been training his whole life to work alongside the Kingdom's finest Knights. Sarawat is a Prince who, on the outside, seems fierce and unapproachable. He is disinterested in any of his royal duties, namely his Knight training.

What happens when Tine is assigned to be the fierce and handsome prince's Squire?

Aka The Medieval AU that I can't get out of my head.

Read on Archiveofourown here, Read the prequel by the lovely @sarawatism here

His new living quarters were nicer than any room he had ever set foot in and yet, Tine was still quite disappointed by the current arrangement. He ran his hands along the fine wood that made up his bed frame and flopped down onto the downy comfort of his new bed. He had been shocked when the king announced that he would be Prince Sarawat’s Squire and the reality of how quickly his life had changed had not quite yet sunk in.

Tine’s stomach grumbled and he was sure it was due to the fact that he was so uncomfortable about having to face the prince at some point in the near future. Sarawat was widely known to be cold and closed off and even though Tine had seen a hint of a different side of Sarawat during a brief interaction a decade ago, he was wondering if any of that version of the Prince existed anymore. Based on the way that Sarawat had turned his nose up during the Squire Trials, Tine doubted that any kindness remained in the Prince’s personality.

The room had a hearth where a low fire was flickering down to its embers. Tine shivered slightly but figured it was more due to the nerves he was experiencing than the lack of heat. He was used to being somewhat cold as there had been points where his fathers business had not done as well and they had been forced to live through winters without firewood. His family had been forced to sleep crowd together at night to stay warm and, looking back, it was some of the happiest times he remembered ever experiencing in his eighteen years.

Even though he had only technically been away from his family for the course of a single day, Tine was aching to see them. His mother no doubt had prepared a celebratory stew for Tine’s arrival home, no matter what the results of his first Squires trail had turned out to be. His family would have been proud no matter what, even if he had returned home without a position. A letter had likely been sent to his parents and Ohm’s father had hopefully passed only the news of Tine’s appointment as Prince Sarawat’s Squire.

In theory, Tine should be full to brim with pride but the conflicting feelings he was experiencing based on his own upbringing to always question authority, his past encounter with the Prince and his own driving reason to join the Squireship in the first place all burned within him, pulling Tine in different directions. He hoped that his family would not worry about him too much but he sensed that their dinner would be held in a worried silence instead of having a celebratory air.

Tine was not sure when he was going to see them again but he expected it would be at least a fortnight before he could get even a moment of free time. He had yet to receive a notice with the training schedule for the coming weeks but he was quite sure there would not be a free moment to even catch his breath. This was what he wanted but now his dream was somewhat tainted by the specific position that he had been given and what happened in his past.

The reminder of his father’s past weighed on him and the abuse that he had endured to produce a sword for the Head Knight. Tine was instantly thankful that he had brought the sword that his father had forged for him to the Trials that day as it was his sole reminder of his family. His other personal possessions, as few as they were, would likely been delivered in the coming days so he was happy to have the reminder of home and his duty that he would be able to carry with him everywhere.

A tentative knock sounded on the thick door that pulled Tine from his thoughts. He immediately crossed the room and quickly pulled opened it. A shy looking court servant with a short haircut stood holding a tray with a folded piece of parchment with a dark red wax seal pressing it closed and a bowl of steaming broth. The seal looked fresh so the message must have been recently written and made Tine excited to read the events that would be unfolding in the next few days.

“May I come in, Squire Tine?” The servant asked and Tine opened the door wider to allow him to enter the room.

The title was foreign but made Tine swell slightly with pride. The servant placed the silver tray down onto the table beside the bed, bowed to Tine curtly and began to make his way out of the room before Tine objected, “Please, you don’t have to bow to me. I’m not higher than you in rank and even if I was, you don’t need to do that.”

The servant froze and his eyes widened in surprise at Tine’s words. Tine knew he probably should not have been so bold but he quickly walked closer to the servant and asked, “I’m sorry. I just figure that we are going to be seeing a lot of each other and we might as well operate as equals… What is your name?”

Tine was not going to give up his morals just because he was working under the roof of those his father always questioned in quiet. While Tine had not intended to land within the castle walls, it just meant he was one step closer to his goal of avenging his father.

“Fong.” The servant still looked slightly terrified but seemed to be somewhat more comfortable with Tine. “We will never be equals but thank you for extending such a kindness toward me. We will see each other many times a day so I suppose it is appropriate for us to become familiar but I should not keep you any longer.”

Tine instantly noticed just how skinny Fong was and noticed that the portion of stew he had been given would be more than enough to fill his stomach. While he was eager to read the letter, he should take advantage of Fong’s company and share his meal with his only current ally inside the castle walls.

“You’re going to share this meal with me.” Tine declared and transferred the silver tray to the stone floor. He knew that Fong wouldn’t dare to deny an order by someone who technically had a higher rank than him and he saw a flash of gratefulness in his new friend’s eyes.

“I don’t know if I should…” Fong mumbled but defied his words by sitting down across from Tine. “But if you insist!”

Tine’s eyes lit up, happy to have some company to share his first meal in his new home and to already be making a connection with another member of the Royal staff. It also could be a valuable friendship to have considering Fong probably had quite a bit of knowledge about the inner workings of the castle and familiarity with the royal family. Tine and Fong broke bread and began to share their first meal together.

A few bites in, Tine cleared his throat and decided he was going to start his research with a question about his new employer. “Can you tell me anything about Prince Sarawat that I should know considering I am going to be working so closely with his Highness?” Fong choked slightly and a look of reluctance passed over his face before he composed himself. The look was more than enough information for Tine to begin to form his current opinion on the Prince even if Fong did not choose to give him any other response.

And yet, after a few moments Fong did answer. “Prince Sarawat is quite private and always has been. He has few members of the court that he chooses to interact with but the ones that he allows closer never leave his side. Sir Man and Sir Boss are constantly flanking him and Prince Phukong worships the ground that his elder brother walks on, despite Prince Sarawat’s cold demeanour. The King and Queen have tried relentlessly to encourage the Prince to interact with others but his indifference is quite apparent. Many ladies of the court have tried to crack his difficult outer shell but none have succeeded thus far aside from Lady Earn but there is nothing romantic between them. He seems to regard her as a sister. The most bizarre relationship he has is with Lord Mil, the son of the Head Knight. They seem to be amicable enough but their fathers have them in constant competition with one another so their friendship has always seemed quite strained…”

It turned out that Fong was a bit of a gossip than Tine had expected and Tine couldn’t have been happier about which servant had been assigned to him. Fong looked up at Tine and a look of horror passed over his face. “I fear that I have spoken too candidly.”

“No, Fong, thank you.” Tine answered with a grin on his face. “Please know that nothing that has passed through your lips will be shared beyond these walls… I sense that the two of us are going to be great friends.”

Fong relaxed instantly and took one last spoonful of stew before bouncing up to his feet. “I am sorry to leave you so quickly but I must return to my duties but I agree. It is so refreshing to have someone show me some kindness within the castle. Most of the lords and ladies just ignore me so… thank you.”

Tine nodded before Fong dashed off to get back to his work which left Tine alone with the mysterious letter on the silver tray. The wax seal had dried more completely and when Tine picked it up for a closer study, he noticed that the seal had an insignia of a wolf upon it. He turned the parchment over and over in his hands contemplating the contents before dragging his thumb along the centre to open it.

Inside was a message scrawled in messy scripture:

Meet me in the East Tower at Midnight.

There was no signature at the bottom of the message and Tine’s heart raced with the anonymity of the letter. He wondered if it was some sort of trick to see if he would be loyal to the crown and he suddenly became suspicious of the sender’s intentions. It also could be some kind of initiation process instated by the Head Knight which lit a small flame of rage inside of Tine.

It flickered just enough to motivate Tine to jump to his feet. He looked out the window to see that night had fallen and decided he would make his way to the tower to discover the meaning behind the mystery message. At such a late hour, the halls of the castle were quiet and Tine was quite an expert at slinking around soundlessly.

While Tine did not the exact layout of the castle, he had always had a strong sense of direction and was familiar enough with how the castle looked from the outside to be able to locate the East tower without much trouble. He was not sure if it was quite midnight but he found a staircase with a Wolf insignia that matched the image from the seal of his letter which assured him that he had arrived at his destination.

The stairwell was shadowed but Tine had never been one to shy away from the dark. The thing that made him nervous was the fact that he had no idea what he was about to walk into. It was quite quiet in the stairwell as he ascended but an ambush could be waiting at the top of the stairs so he made sure to put a readied hand on the hilt of his sword.

At the top of the stairs there was a beautiful door made out of thick oak wood with a carving of a fierce looking wolf. The image startled Tine slightly but he forced himself to regain his composure as he lifted his had to knock on the door. Before he could lay a hand upon the knocker, the door creaked open.

Tine shivered slightly before taking a deep breath. No matter what he was about to walk into, he was not going to let whatever he was going to face get the better of him. He had displayed his skills as a fighter and a problem solver during the Trials earlier that day so he knew he could handle whatever was beyond the door.

He walked into a room that was lit dimly with candles and heard a haunting melody playing on what sounded like a lute. Tine looked around the room and quickly took in his surroundings. The space appeared to be a study of some sort and as Tine entered the room, the music suddenly stopped.

“I wasn’t sure you if you received my message.” A voice sounded from behind a tall chair which made Tine freeze.

The voice was familiar but Tine could not quite place it. A shadow played along the stone wall of the tower as the speaker rose to his feet, placing the instrument on the chair that they had just risen from. Tine watched and squinted to try to decipher who the figure was.

“I apologize for my tardiness.” Tine responded, unsure of how proper he needed to keep his delivery as he still could not tell who his host was. He decided to be a bit bold and continued, “Do you usually sit alone in the darkness and brood while playing music?”

“You don’t appreciate the decor of the East tower? I will try not to take offence considering I was the one who made the design choices.” The voice continued, a hint of amusement in the tone, and the figure it belonged to slowly made its way into the light.

Tine instantly regretted his words when he saw who was standing in front of him with a smirk on his lips: Prince Sarawat.

#sarawatine #2gether #2gether the series #tine x sarawat #bright vachirawit #brightwin #win metawin #gmmtv #my writing #thai bl #the nuisance and the handsome prince

4 notes · View notes

kabutoraiger · 5 years

Text

Zi-O rewrite time! An attempt at retaining a lot of the main elements while improving the general enjoyability.

First of all, we need to change the age at which Sougo is first approached by Swartz. By 10 kids have pretty solidly already developed their own opinions and ideas about stuff. If some stranger had come up to me at age 10 and told me I was destined to be [something I’d never cared about before] I would’ve been like uh, what? No. :/

So he’s 5 or 6 when he first meets this weird guy who tells him about the concept of kings, about how they help people, tells him he sees the skill for it in him, even gifts him a little picture book about a heroic fairytale king which years later Sougo still cherishes. This guy continues to appear intermittently in the years leading up to the bus crash to really lay it on thick with this king stuff.

The other important basic change is that rather than being considered an amusing quirky oddity by his classmates, Sougo is genuinely ignored/shunned by them for his obsession with being a king. (And in flashbacks to when he was little, outright bullied.)

Thus we can see from the very start Sougo’s potential path to becoming an evil overlord. He truly wants to protect people and do good in the world, has been influenced to believe ‘ruling’ is the best way to do so, but his future subjects reject him harshly at every turn. And it’s obvious that anytime soon his goofiness and cheerful optimism could finally run out.

The attitude from his peers makes his lack of friends and his loneliness much more obvious from the getgo, and so you feel far more deeply for him as he tries to make things work with Geiz & Tsukuyomi.

And as he spends time genuinely, like, talking and connecting with the past riders he meets. He has at least one heart-to-heart moment with most of them. Sento tells him about how easy it is for the best intentions to have terrible results. Takumi tells him about how alone and afraid of himself he was until he met the right people. Eiji tells him about how important it is to want things, but how wanting too much can be dangerous. And tells the story of the OOO who came before him.

And so about halfway through the show, Sougo begins to wonder. Is it really ‘subjects’ he wants? Or just friends? Is a king a good thing to be? Did he ever choose ‘king’ as his dream? Or was it forcibly imprinted on him?

These doubts continue... until Geiz and Tsukuyomi begin to literally fade around the edges. Sougo questioning his own dream is on the verge of erasing Oma Zio from ever existing, and thus erasing the events that led to them traveling back in time. (Woz is not affected due to being some kind of time anomaly.)

Woz offers Sougo a special powerup. “If you accept this, you will return to your correct path as Waga Maou. The timeline will be reestablished, and Geiz and Tsukuyomi will remain here in this time.” Sougo finds himself tempted to accept, but not because he wants the power. It’s because he wants his friends to stay. But he remembers all the wisdom imparted to him by his senpai riders up to this point, thinks about what friendship really means, and he declines Woz’s offer.

Before Geiz and Tsukuyomi vanish & return to their own time Sougo asks them to please try and remember him, and they promise they will.

Now we get into a stretch of episodes where the narratives are jumping back and forth between present day, where Sougo is trying to be happy with only Woz for company, and 2068 - a different 2068 that is mostly peaceful. Geiz and Tsuku are normal teenagers (Geiz’s mysterious dead loved one is alive and we get to know them, even) living happy lives, but feel as if something is wrong. There was a war, wasn’t there? They’d been fighting. They look at their friend group and feel disconnected from them. They think that someone is missing.

In present day, Swartz puts his plan B into motion. He can no longer bank on this king nonsense to string Sougo along, and so, perhaps by using a disguised hat Woz, they manage to convince Sougo that by collecting the remaining ridewatches he will gain the ability to time travel and will be able to see his friends again whenever he wants. Either way, it’s not as if Sougo can ignore Another Riders.

Meanwhile, Geiz & Tsuku are beginning to remember bits and pieces. But as they do, Another Riders begin to slip into their time period via the cracks in the timeline created by their conflicting memories. These Another Riders are all based on future riders (or maybe uh. ‘in between riders’ in this case), and Geiz & Tsuku have to seek out each of the originals in order to get their watches. (Worth noting that this is the point in the show in which Geiz regains his rider power and Tsuku gains hers.)

With each watch they acquire they remember more of Sougo. It’s implied that all of these ‘future riders’ have met Sougo at some point & think fondly of him, though these meetings are still far in 19 y/o Sougo’s future.

Having remembered him fully, they use sweet 2068 tech to contact him across time (an emotional moment for all 3) and Tsukuyomi, having also managed to recall her true place of origin and her connection to Swartz, warns Sougo that he’s probably the one behind it all.

Basically what this all leads to is Swartz getting his shit wrecked concurrently in two separate time periods (think the best parts of Kiva), Sougo & Woz on one team and Geiz & Tsuku on the other as the scene switches back and forth and splitscreens at all the most important moments. And it’s truly an epic high of tokusatsu television shows.

They come close to landing the final blow, when suddenly - Sougo finds himself in that black void facing down Oma Zio. “A timeline may become a ghost, as mine has,” he says, “but the possibility can still linger. You could still become me, right now, if you wished it.” He holds out his driver. “Restore me. Us. Our glory.”

Again Sougo remembers everything taught to him by the past riders, and he tells him no. That the sort of power offered isn’t the kind anyone should have. That it was a dream given to him by someone with terrible intentions, and he doesn’t want it or need it to keep himself going anymore.

Oma Zi-o appreciates when he’s been bested. He offers to use the last of his strength to grant any wish that Sougo has. Sougo considers wishing for Geiz and Tsuku to come back and stay in 2019 with him. But instead he smiles sadly and says “I wish for my friends to be happy, whatever that means for them.”

He returns to reality to finish his rider kick and end the final fight.

Sougo wakes up in his bedroom the next morning feeling lost. Picks up that old picturebook of the fairytale king and flips through it aimlessly. He said he didn’t need it, but wasn’t that a bit of a lie? He doesn’t have anything else to replace it.

He’s still holding it as he goes downstairs for breakfast. And finds Geiz & Tsukuyomi at the table, chastising him for sleeping in so late. Realizes that Oma Zio must have granted his wish. He’s definitely crying a bit as he smiles. The other 2 might be a little bit as well. The camera focuses on Sougo tossing the picturebook aside before joining them at the table.

#kr zi o #it's ok y'all don't actually have to read all this lol

157 notes · View notes

tawakkull · 4 years

Text

Spirituality in islam: Rida (Resignation).Part2

As seen in these same verses, attaining the station of resignation and pleasing God and being pleased with Him depend upon one’s turning to God Almighty. This means complete devotion to, reliance upon, and surrender to Him and committing all affairs to Him. One who has attained this station longs for death and meeting with God, dies with a heart at rest, and is included among the righteous in Paradise.

From another perspective, ordinary people show their resignation by ordering their lives according to God’s commandments in willing submission to His Lordship and administrative authority. This is expressed in the verses:

Say: Shall I seek another than God for Lord, when He is Lord of all things? (6:165),

and: Say: Shall I choose for a protecting friend other than God, the Originator of the heavens and the earth, Who feeds and Himself is not fed? (6:14)

Such a degree of resignation is essential to whoever aspires to true belief in God’s Unity and true love of God. Every believer must consciously submit himself or herself to God’s guidance; associate no partners with Him in belief and in ordering one’s life; love Him alone as the Lord, Deity, and Ruler of humanity and the universe; and love others who are worthy to be loved only in His name and in accordance with the limits He has established.

The second degree of resignation that of those with a certain degree of knowledge of God, is manifested in their welcoming God’s decrees and ordinances without objection. It is also seen in the control they have acquired over their hearts, a control so strong that their hearts do not swerve even for one moment. Such resignation is regarded as the relation between God and those hearts furnished with knowledge of Him.

The third degree of resignation is attained by those purified, saintly scholars who are pleased with what pleases God. One who has been rewarded with such resignation feels no personal anger, joy, or grief. Such a person, no longer feeling, thinking, or desiring for himself or herself, experiences the pleasure of annihilation in the Lord, for only His Will and choices remain.

The first degree of resignation, obligatory upon every believer, is the beginning of the way leading to nearness to God, for it is related to free will and a requirement of belief in His Unity. The second degree must be acquired, both because it is the continuation of the first and the basis of the third degree, and because it leads one to consider nearness to God.

The third degree, a Divine gift rather than a station attainable by free will and individual effort, is neither obligatory nor necessary. However, it is commendable to desire it whole-heartedly. This degree encompasses the first two, for aspiring after (full) resignation and living so as to attain it is an essential principle of Islamic life. However, its full attainment is a gift bestowed in return for this aspiration. In other words, the first two degrees relate to God’s Names and Attributes, which can be attained by journeying in their shadow or their guidance, while the third is connected with the reward, enlightenment, or radiance given in return for them.

The verse: Their reward is with their Lord; Gardens of Eden, beneath which rivers flow; where they will dwell forever. God is well pleased with them and they are well pleased with Him. That is for him who fears his Lord reverently (98:8) points to all of these degrees. This same truth was expressed by our master, upon him be peace and blessings, who said: One who is well pleased with God as Lord, with Islam as religion, and with Muhammad, upon him be peace and blessings, as Messenger has tasted the pleasure of faith.

I hope that the following considerations will direct the feelings and thoughts of those who desire to attain resignation, help them to overcome the difficulties encountered on this path, and to control and resist their worldly and carnal impulses.

- Human beings are only role players in the Divine drama played out on the stage of this world. Therefore, they have no right or authority to interfere with the quality or form of their assigned part. Whatever happens to an individual has been predetermined by God, Who considered his or her free will, actions, and thoughts in this world. Only God can change this.

- If one really loves God, whatever comes from Him must be welcomed. It is very difficult to perceive the wisdom and good or God’s purpose in some events. Sometimes what is good for us is hidden in bad happenings: It may be that you dislike a thing although it is good for you, and love a thing although it is bad for you. God knows, but you know not (2:216).

- A Muslim is one who has fully submitted to God. Thus, such an individual cannot be displeased with God’s actions and operations. A believer has a good opinion of everybody else, so how can he or she be suspicious of God? The Qur'an forbids us to suspect other people (48:12); how much worse it would be if we suspected God and His acts! Since all things and events were preordained and created by God, and since whatever He creates is either good in itself or on account of its result, a Muslim should keep his or her heart at rest and always be optimistic.

- If our obligations or responsibilities, as well as the misfortunes and difficulties we endure or seek to overcome, have an essential place in our training and education to prepare us for the eternal life of happiness in the Hereafter, then we should fulfill them or endure them willingly. An individual’s resignation to or being pleased with whatever comes from Him means that He is also pleased with that particular individual. Being displeased with the acts and manifestations of Divine Lordship causes distress, grief, and restlessness, while living as resigned to God’s decrees gives relief and exhilaration, even though one has to suffer great difficulties. In short, the continuous pursuit of resignation is an invitation to Divine succor.

- Resignation to Destiny and the manifestations of God, the Truth, is a very important means of obtaining happiness. The truthful and confirmed one, upon him be peace and blessings, illuminates this: It is fortunate for man to show resignation to what God decrees, while it is unfortunate for him to feel indignation against what God decrees. Being resigned to God’s decrees and operations fills one’s heart with breezes from the Divine Realm, while displeasure with them fills it with whims and suspicions coming from Satan. Those who resign themselves to His decrees make their lives into an “embroidery” of golden threads of thankfulness, while those who are displeased with them grind even their most positive works into nothing between the millstones of ingratitude. Showing such displeasure, an all-to-common attitude on the part of many, is one of Satan’s most effective ways of invading one’s soul.

- A believer may join the inhabitants of the heavens by welcoming God’s treatment, which is an honor bestowed by God. One who is pleased with God is following the right guidance, while one who is not pleased follows nothing more than personal fancies. Resignation to God’s judgments or decrees means preferring His wishes to our own. It hardly needs saying what the opposite attitude implies.

- Resignation is like an orchard whose trees yield the fruits of worship and devotion; sins and offenses are the results of being deprived of it. Resignation prevents personal conflicts with God in the believer’s inner world, and means respecting the principle expressed in the supplication of the Prophet, upon him be peace and blessings: It is pure justice in whatever way You judge about me. The first sin was committed when Satan did not resign himself to what God had decreed for him.

- One can have no greater reward or higher rank than God’s being pleased with him or her, which is only attainable by personal resignation to what He has decreed. This is also the greatest reward that one can receive in Paradise:

God has promised the believers, men and women, Gardens beneath which rivers flow, to dwell therein forever, and beautiful mansions in Gardens of Eden. But God’s good pleasure [His being pleased with them] is greater still. That is the supreme triumph (9:72).

- Resignation is based on the most important essential of religion: reliance upon God. Its essential quality can be perceived by means of certainty about God’s existence and Unity. It is embedded in love of God, and causes one to gain eternal happiness. It is rooted in loyalty to God and truthfulness, and denotes actual thankfulness. Resignation is such a magical lift that those who obtain it will reach their destination quickly. Love and sincerity, as well as penitence and contrition, are flowers growing in the climate of resignation. It is useless to search for such virtues or qualities in hearts that are not set on resignation and obtaining God’s pleasure.

- However numerous those rewards given in return for acting and speaking to attain God’s pleasure may be, they can be counted and are therefore limited. The rewards given for such actions as resignation, which is done with the heart, are proportional to the heart’s depth and so cannot be estimated.

As the greatest rank in God’s sight, resignation or God’s pleasure is a final target that has been sought by the greatest members of humanity, from the glory of creation, upon him be peace and blessings, to all other Prophets, saints, and purified scholars who have passed the final test through sincerity, certainty, reliance, surrender, and confidence. They have surmounted many difficulties and obstacles, and bore many unendurable sufferings and pains. The following verses seek to describe the sighs of such people:

The suffering You cause is more pleasing than having fortune,And Your vengeance is lovelier to me than my own soul.I am in love with both His torment and His favor;How strange it is that I am in love with things opposite to each other.By God, if I go from this thorn of affliction to the garden of delight,I will be one who, like a nightingale, always groans or sighs.How strange it is that when a nightingale starts to sing,It sings melodies of both the thorn and the rose.

The following verses of Nasimi are also beautiful:

I am a suffering lover, O dear One, I will not abandon You;

Even if You cut through my chest with a dagger, I will not abandon You.

Even if they cut me into two from head to foot like Zachariah,

Put your saw on my head, O Carpenter, I will not abandon You.

Even if they burn me into ashes and blow away my ashes,

They will hear my ashes sigh: O Veiler (of sins), I will not abandon You.

The rank or station of resignation, of being pleased with God and obtaining His pleasure includes all other ranks. The melodies sung in it are: Whatever You do to me or however You treat me, it is good.

O God! Guide us to what You will love and be pleased with, and bestow peace and blessings upon our Master and the Master of the Messengers.

3 notes · View notes

channelmono · 4 years

Text

A lengthy, LENGTHY post on keeping yourself mentally safe AND politically active during this time of racial/political unrest

I wasn’t expecting the need to do another writeup again, but here we are, haha Taking this break day to discuss the NEW giant elephant in the room: the US has flared up in a gigantic racial conflict again after the high-profile death of another black American at the hands of the police. There’s no beating around the bush since everyone’s already talking about it, and if you haven’t heard about it til now (which hey, my analytics say some of you are pretty young, so I wouldn’t blame you), it’s been a greatly aggressive mess that everyone is feeling the pressure of getting involved in. Now, I usually don’t like getting publicly political, but that doesn’t mean that I as a creator am not a political person. Far from it; the moral matters of how people should be treated, what constitutes as “justice” and what to do when “injustice” is committed, are all very important subjects that we eventually learn to form our opinions on through life experience and interacting with the world, and will always remain relevant due to how we exist in the world under governments and cultures. It’s dishonest to say we have no belief in stuff like that, and ultimately unhelpful to deny our say in it. Politics are very important, and they matter. But I’m not here to get into a full filibuster about why you should support Black Lives Matter and be informed of the protests going on and what motivates them. The thing is that I trust all you lovely monitors and have the faith that we’re generally on board with at least adjacent beliefs in how the world should work -- the life of innocent people matters, racism and other forms of hatred are bad, killing people is bad, the misuse of authoritative power is unjust, etc. If someone asks me to explain in a multi-paragraph spiel why I believe people should believe these things since they think otherwise… I’ll kindly tell them “no”. Instead, similarly to my COVID-19 writeup, I just want to talk about some tips to help deal with the day-to-day of this ongoing conflict; not necessarily discuss politics in deep detail, but rather the handling of politics in your everyday life, especially during times of controversy. This is a VERY rough time for many people, online and off, and I think it’s as important to keep yourself healthy during this time of extreme tension as much as it is to stay strong regarding the conflict in which we are all in one way or another embroiled in. This writeup might be a little cluttered and clunky since many of these points are greatly interconnected, but just bear with me through this, and I hope the points I make will make sense in the end.

=========================== 1) JUSTICE IS THE BOTTOM LINE =========================== Let me establish something as clear as I possibly can right off the bat: The ultimate goal of rebellion (especially this one based in activism towards the better treatment of black lives) should not be to create stress to psychologically destroy everyone in the vicinity, but to inspire change for the better. The systemic allowing of authorities to misuse their power for hateful purposes should not merely be a seen as an excuse to get angry at the world, but an injustice that must be corrected, and the bottom line of protest is not merely agitation, but actual change. I feel like this should ultimately be pretty obvious for a lot of people, but because change is a very difficult thing in general and because the protests have provoked turbulent response, it’s very easy to lose sight of what we’re actually doing and why, especially for the young adults whose first exposure to complex and nuanced politics is through times like this. Make no mistake, at the end of the day, getting justice for George Floyd and the countless other African-Americans lost to police brutality is the goal. So… why is this controversial? Well, because... =========================== 2) POLITICS ARE COMPLICATED (AND WHY WE MUST BE CAREFUL AND PATIENT WITH IT) =========================== Kind of an obvious statement, but politics are VERY complicated, often to the degree that they can be extremely overwhelming, especially to the young and inexperienced. So I want to start by just making some sense out of the chaos to make what we’re all dealing with more digestible for later. There’s a lot of ways politics can be controversial that I feel should be obvious on a fundamental level of “not agreeing”, but the facet I want to focus on is the fact that in discussion about what’s “morally correct”, morals are not synonymous with the rhetoric and methods with which they’re presented. Often times, people who agree on the same target goal will disagree on the actual means of getting to that goal. We’ve all been in the situation where we got angry at someone for saying something in a really bad way, and frustrated because we also thought “...they still have a good point,” but the delivery made both of us look bad. This is everywhere in politics, and is also just a fact of life and humanity; everyone will have their own opinions on what to do and why to do it, and they may not all be completely the same. That doesn’t mean that people who you don’t 100% agree with are definitively less worthy of being on your side, nor does it mean that people you don’t 100% DISAGREE with are suddenly worth your time. The point is that nuance should be expected… and that’s not unforgivable, contrary to what some people might want you to believe. There’s a frustrating narrative that’s sadly common (or at the very least, disproportionately vocal) within activist movements which social media isn’t helping with, and it’s the classic “you’re either with us or against us” philosophy. Again, this can manifest in many ways, but the prevailing modern take is the oft-unspoken assumption that anyone that doesn’t immediately qualify as an ally must be considered an enemy, ignorant, and/or at the very least worth showing contempt to unless they do something that suddenly makes them qualify as an ally. In other words, assuming the worst of people until proven otherwise. I’ll go into more detail about this further down, but simply put, I do not agree with this approach at all because it inherently roots itself in the presumption that personal philosophies are set in stone, and that it requires a Herculean amount of effort on the other party to change for you. Yes, YOU, the absolute moral victor who not only never needs to change or rethink anything by virtue of being the victor, but also gets to choose what counts as acceptable in the first place. This is not to say that activism is inherently dishonest or bad, merely that again, politics are complicated. This current Black Lives Matter boom and the various responses to it are very complicated, and despite this movement being a thing for a while now, not everyone is an expert on everything that happens and why, especially as it continues to develop. The most egregiously unhelpful part of the “people who are ignorant are enemies” assumption is that it forgets not only that ignorance is the default state everyone born into this world starts as, but also that everyone is perpetually still learning, and no matter what, it’s always possible to change your mind, whether you're 15 or 50. In turn, this implicitly encourages the rejects people who DO want to be accepted as an ally to a cause they ultimately believe in to rush into action just to stop being antagonized for not “getting it.” For your own safety: DO NOT RUSH INTO POLITICS, especially since the current-day responses to some of this conflict can get dangerous. It’s not even a case of getting peer-pressured to getting into a live protest only to do something that gets you shot at with rubber bullets -- you could end up saying something you didn’t realize was insensitive until it was too late, you could mistakenly contribute to a false charity fund or untrustworthy organization merely posing as an activist group, or basically anything that only affirms peoples’ perception of you as ignorant. Please, take your time. As sucky as it is to deal with peer pressure from the toxic people on your side, also remember that you’re not alone. Not just in the sense that there are people who want to understand and become better and more informed like you, but also that there are people who are on your side who WANT you to become better and more informed and will understand if it doesn’t come immediately. Being able to safely say you holistically “understand” is a process that requires a lot of time and thought ruminating about your morals and your place in the world (like, to adulthood at the least, basically), and I can say for sure that many people involved in these activist movements have grown up still understanding that. Also (and this is just a thing on life in general), don’t let mistakes damn you. While everyone should strive to do their best, especially regarding matters as critical and controversial as racial inequity in the justice system, mistakes should not be completely inescapable dead-ends, nor should they be seen as such. Every misstep is a hidden lesson. Did you fall into the trap of misinformation? Give yourself new perspective of what misinformation looks like to avoid it in the future. Did you realize that you’re being strung along in potentially negative action you don’t understand? When you’re skeptical, do your research. Did you end up in a confused place because the causes you followed have come into conflict? Give the time to reassess what you fundamentally believe in and why. In short, Be patient with what the world throws at you. Your friends and allies will love you more for being careful and smart than merely being the first to say something. =========================== 3) REMEMBER TO BE PATIENT WITH YOURSELF TOO =========================== Now I realize that the suggestions I just shared in that last section might read off as being easier said than done, which... yknow, it is. Again, change is difficult not just on a system level, but on an individual, personal level, even when they have to do with the same thing. But now with all that backdrop out of the way, let’s talk directly on mental health. Again. I’ve already discussed my thoughts and tips on keeping your mind healthy in the context of the COVID-19 lockdown (which still is important since the pandemic is still going on, LINK: https://www.twitlonger.com/show/n_1sr7go6 ), and most of the stuff mentioned are still applicable to this new climate that I generally recommend still being practiced on a personal, self-care level: understand that even at the darkest, there will be dawn, keep yourself stimulated with regular activity, and be sure you get plenty of healthy sleep so you don’t spend your waking days tired and unable to lift yourself up. Of course, this is a new situation where the priorities are a lot different, namely that rather than merely keeping your sanity during a very passive time, this new situation is about social interaction, participation, and in general being active in big, drastic ways. That said, I don’t believe the fields are mutually exclusive -- I believe you can act for the greater good while preserving your own health, despite what some might be saying. Going back to that bit of internal gatekeeping of “you’re seen as an enemy until proven otherwise,” another part of what makes this thinking ultimately harmful is that the “line” which “separates” ally and enemy can be incredibly hazy and effectively whatever it wants, with the biggest narrative as of writing being that “silence means you’re complicit in allowing evil, and that if you don’t ever speak up, you’re a bad person.” Now there’s a lot to unpack from this, because this is a case where there is a good point, but it’s buried in vitriol. There ARE valid reasons for why someone would stay quiet, namely that not everyone has the same emotional/psychological bandwidth. Maybe people are having breakdowns because everything in the world angrily and violently collapsed onto them at once. Maybe they had burnout because the exposure dulled them of their usual ability to care. Heck, maybe there’s a way more corporeal issue in that they’re afraid for their own safety because of what they do or don’t say and are afraid of the consequences being literally dangerous, like they might lose their job or are gonna get targeted IRL. But does that constitute a free pass to sit this entire movement out? Well, as nice as it would be, the answer is “no”. Once again, the point of this movement is achieving justice, which I believe is a very worthy cause to take part in should we have the ability to, and I’ll be sharing stuff further down for those who can (and I believe most of you can). But the important thing to know now is that we and our brethren are not completely equal in terms of how smart, vocal, durable, or ultimately able we are, and that's FINE. I want you to know that just because you might not be as big in that regard as your peers, that doesn’t instantly make you “less” of a good person who can do great things, and I don’t think it’s at all wise to see action in a "flawless", black/white way. We all matter. And now is a time to do our best to stand united with our friends to affirm that black lives matter. Now, before I share in tips on how to go about being an active participant, since you’re here reading this huge-ass essay, this is a good time to reflect on where you stand from a mental health perspective, which is just as important and should be regularly checked upon as brushing your teeth. In addition to more visceral emotional reactions like secondhand trauma, other things like burnout and depression don’t just suddenly APPEAR. They creep up on you over time through prolonged stress, and they should be identified before they become a really crippling problem. No matter how passionate you are about advocacy and how much you believe in yourself, recognize that we are all still human, and that there are times that we need to stop, relax, and breathe. (like, literally! Take slow, deep breaths!) Ask yourself: are you physically feeling fatigued? How often? Is your overall morale good? What is your frequency of good to bad days, and is there any correlation you can find that dictates when they occur? Do you get instantly anxious and depressed when receiving certain stimuli like bad news? What about “good” stimuli like being empathetic or compassionate? Give yourself a patient, honest answer: how “well” do you feel? Like from my COVID-19 post, I want to remind that I am not a doctor who can necessarily prescribe things like therapy or give definitive treatment for every individual who reads this based on how they’re doing, and these suggestions are more stuff that I believe will help cope and take care of yourself just from experience. With that being said: • If you are feeling constantly exhausted, finding yourself unable to consciously self-care or work, I cannot recommend a healthy, regular sleep schedule enough. Do your best to be honestly consistent about it, your body and mind will thank you so much for good rest! • If triggering topics are festering in your head, learn how to practice meditation and grounding techniques. Meditating and grounding can be regularly used to help sway your mind away from the harsh topics your mind may wander into and fixate on in any given moment, and can be very helpful in allowing yourself to clear your mind from stress, as well as to refocus on what you’re really experiencing in the present. There are so many ways to approach these forms of treatment to try out, but just some online resources to get started: https://www.theawakenetwork.com/free-online-meditation-resources-for-the-time-of-social-distancing/ --- https://www.healthline.com/health/grounding-techniques • If the constant exposure to these ongoing, intense news and their discussions are becoming too much for you, it is completely within your right to turn off your social media, news, and halt your advocacy in general for a bit. Again, these are important, crucial topics which we ultimately fight for because we believe that things should be better, but if you start to feel legitimately traumatized and unable to properly handle new information to work, you don’t need to continue exposing yourself to it. Give yourself a break from it, you can join back any time once you feel strong again. • Stay connected to the people you trust. I firmly believe that empathy and friendship are more powerful than any kind of indirect threat like peer pressure in helping you stay productive while happy. You were probably already doing this because of the COVID-19 stuff, but now is especially a good time to come together with your friends and loved ones. No matter what, we all need our safety, reassurance, and love, and while we may not always be able to unload all our grievances onto each other (everyone has a right to their own mind they should take care of), there is nothing to be ashamed of in seeking out solidarity. That is a big thing with a movement like this, after all! • If you really believe you need professional help for constant distress, then genuinely good professional help is out there. If you have concern in finding proper mental health treatment (especially for black people), programs out there specifically with it in mind. https://twitter.com/mayarichardsun/status/1265676677549559809 One last point: it’s also important to understand that coping isn’t exactly the same thing as “self care”. We all have an obligation to act in ways that can in one way or another be seen as stressful, but also understand that not all methods to cope with it are equally healthy. What I suggested are very low-maintenance, low financial cost techniques, but there are other techniques like spending cash on clothes or (for some of us), binging on alcohol or other substances. Techniques like that aren’t strictly invalid as coping tools in moderation, but understand that ultimately, self-care is a form of reducing the harm you receive, and it isn’t necessary to cut into your finances or physical health just to not feel bad. Be safe about how you cope! =========================== 4) READY? GET SET. GO! =========================== There are so many ways that you can help with the Black Lives Matter movement that honestly, I’m kinda nervous about going in great detail about all of them since I feel like I might misword stuff that explains themselves very well already, haha. But here is a big, constantly-updating resource that I currently trust and follow: https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co This Carrd page by @dehyedration is a very extensive page on “Ways You Can Help”, with links of direct support and additional educational guides for those who wish to be further educated (which should be all of us!). Included are: • Petitions to sign for justice not just for George Floyd, but other victims felled to police brutality (very low-cost and contains details for international). • Text/call contact info towards local govt. representatives who can bring George Floyd and others to justice. • Links to donation funds towards the victims, the protesters, to black-owned businesses, and other charity institutions (includes a segment for international links!). • Guides for live protesters, compiling resources for understanding your legal rights, links for assistance (including access to pro-bono lawyers), and tutorials on how to stay safe and treat injuries should things get hairy. • Additional resources on educating yourself on the topics of Black Lives Matter’s rhetoric and goals, the issues of systemic racism at large, debunking of common misinformation and outright hoaxes, and more! There are MANY way to contribute to the cause right now, and a surprising amount of it you can do in virtually no time. Signing the petitions alone can be all done in 5-10 minutes (give or take, given how many tabs you can open and keep track of at any certain time haha), and even if you can’t donate, there are so many ways to you express your support without needing to have to deal with pointless fights against Twitter trolls. Once again, I firmly believe that contributing to and being aware of a powerful, meaningful cause and keeping your sanity are not mutually exclusive. We can act for the greater good, and we can be healthy about it, so long as we remember to be patient with the world as much as we should be patient with ourselves, and together, we can do amazing things. And one final reminder: just because this is an important subject we should all do our part to get involved in this, that doesn’t mean you must sacrifice everything else in your life right now. As important as the discussion is and as critical a time it is for it to be visible, that doesn’t mean that you should be completely engulfed in it. You can still enjoy what makes you happy, healthy, and motivated enough to take part in this movement. To paraphrase many a wise men: take it, but you can take it easy! I’ll be leaving you with a link to a Twitter thread I found of a bunch of nice news regarding the ongoing protests, which contrary to what a lot of the media might say, is not all looting, fires, and tear gas. The people out there ARE there as a show of solidarity as much as much as support, and it's genuinely beautiful. https://twitter.com/tomakeupwityou/status/1266947871686959106 Stay safe, and stay healthy out there, lovely monitors! (and keep washing your hands!) 🖤🖤🖤

#text #black lives matter

4 notes · View notes

1dffchallenges · 5 years

Photo

One And The Same

Written By: @1dfangirls35

Characters: Sadie/Niall

Summary: Sadie Wilkinson is a workaholic on the cusp of a big promotion, and she’s not about to let a jerk in a coffee shop ruin that for her. That is until a road trip, blizzard and some alcohol teach her that love and success don’t have to be mutually exclusive. Oh, and that jerk in the coffee shop might be okay too.

Author’s Note: Special Thanks to @wonderonrepeat for making me a cover when I wrote this at the literal last minute!

Warnings: Language, Alcohol Use

Sadie Wilkinson had only ever had one great love in her life: her work. Sure, she’d had her share of romantic moments; stolen kisses in the rain, dancing under the moonlight, but when it came down it to it, no man (or boy) had ever grown quite as important to her as her job.

She went on dates, she got to know potential suitors, but the second things started to turn serious, the second that there were mentions of a future that wasn’t precisely what Sadie imagined, she brought things to a halt.

The men were often devastated, asking what happened, everything had been going so well, they really thought this could be something. Sadie tried to let them down gently, thinking of any excuse except for the real one: that she was absolutely terrified that falling in love would come between her and the goals she had for herself. The goals that included her becoming a business executive before age 30 and eventually opening her own marketing firm.

And this is exactly what happened with Matthew, the tall brunette businessman who now stood a few feet in front of her in the line to pick up her daily cup of Joe. The man whose heart Sadie broke a few weeks earlier, and a man that was clearly not over her based on the way he kept turning his head around to catch a glimpse of her from his place in line two heads ahead, as if if he looked over just enough times their eyes would meet and Sadie would realize that he was the one that got away after all.

That of course, was not going to happen because Sadie was never going to make eye contact with Matthew. She’d seen him the moment she’d walked through the doors to the coffee shop, and no broken-hearted boy was going to catch her gaze long enough for him to beg her to take him back. She had an important date to get to after all- with her wooden desk, office chair and newest client anyway.

Sadie pushed a strand of her wavy blonde hair behind her ear as she checked the time on her phone. While she was used to waiting for her morning coffee, this was taking longer than usual- and of all the days. She tried to take a deep inhale of the aroma of ground coffee beans. That's what Beanz coffee shop was known for: their freshly ground coffee beans. In Sadie's opinion, it's what made their coffee the best in downtown Chicago.

After a few minutes, Sadie found herself ordering her usual, a grande americano with an extra shot of espresso. She then stood at the corner of the long wooden counter, browsing her inbox for the already numerous influx of emails while she waited.

When her name was called, Sadie cautiously brought her cup to the side of the counter and added a sprinkle of sugar, before carefully securing the lid to avoid any disastrous spillage onto her white blouse. Then she made her way towards the door.

“Sadie!” she heard Matthew shout as she attempted to make a quick and quiet exit. She turned her head around slightly, stopping to offer him a polite wave. That’s when another body collided into her, a steaming hot cup of Java dousing the front of her freshly steamed white blouse.

“Ahhh,” Sadie gasped in shock, turning to face the offender, her blue eyes meeting another pair. “Watch where you’re going will you?”

The brunette man in a navy tailored suit simply gave her a huff. “Sorry, but you really shouldn’t just stop walking,” he said, his thick accent adding even more harshness to his words. “Next time you try to reconnect with one of your one-night stands, do it outside of the path of people who have places to be.”

Sadie felt her jaw drop. “Next time you run into someone and spill coffee on them maybe don’t be an asshole about it and apologize,” she bit back. The man gave her an amused smile as Sadie reached for napkins from the counter.

“Maybe a good idea,” he gestured in response to her now vigorous dabbing of the napkins on her blouse, grabbing one for himself and wiping the remnants of coffee spillage from the outside of his cup.

“Have a nice day,” Sadie offered with her most sarcastic cheerfulness, as he made his way out the door. She hoped that when he went to take a swig of his precious cup of coffee that he would find there was not even a drop remaining, all misplaced onto Sadie’s blouse. Or at the very least, he would burn the roof of his mouth.

When Sadie finally arrived at the office, she was frazzled, but incredibly grateful that her forward-thinking self always kept a spare outfit in her office. She rushed through the front door, barely hearing her friend and coworker Kate in the neighboring office.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Kate stopped her as she passed by. “What happened to you?”

“Two words. Coffee and a jackass.” Even the mention of her encounter at the coffee shop had Sadie’s blood boiling. ”So grateful that we have our girls trip, I mean, business trip coming up on Wednesday. Can’t wait to get away from this place,” Sadie sighed. The idea of the open road, her good friend and some good music sounded like the perfect getaway. And to top it off, the deal she would be traveling for could potentially lead her to the promotion she’d been chasing after ever since starting at the company.

“Oh, Sad about that…” Kate began hesitantly, her face hinting that bad news was about to leave her mouth.

“That’s not a face that looks like it’s going to add something positive to my already awful morning,” Sadie groaned. Kate gave her an apologetic smile.

“Jason just found out he’s being honored at this dinner for the hospital on Friday night. I was going to skip it originally, but now that he’s getting an award, I…”

“You have to be a supportive girlfriend, I get it,” Sadie replied. But she didn’t get it, not really. Because Sadie couldn’t imagine giving up the opportunity to close on one of the biggest marketing deals in the company’s history- the marketing deal that could potentially lead her to a promotion- for a man.

But Kate was different. Head over heels in love with her boyfriend Dr. Jason Mayfield. Sadie could see the allure of Jason. He was successful, smart, and kind. But dating someone with that much success? It came with its sacrifices, and Sadie had watched as time after time Kate passed up on opportunities to advance her own career in order to help her man advance his.

“I let Will know this morning. I wonder if they will send anyone else with you?” Kate thought aloud.

“I can’t imagine anyone else being willing to drop their plans at the last minute can you?” Sadie responded. She wasn’t upset that she’d have to make the trip alone, more credit for her in the long-run.

“True. We can’t all be workhorses like you Sadie,” Kate said with a grin. “Speaking of workhorses, word is the new hire is starting today. Have you been introduced?”

“Not yet, but I’m curious. Have you?”

Kate shook her head. “Probably will later.”

“Well, I have a meeting soon, I better get changed out of this disaster of an outfit before I make a bad impression on our latest client,” Sadie stated, taking a step towards her doorway.

“See you at lunch?” Kate asked.

“Yep,” Sadie replied before stepping into her office and closing the door behind her. She opened up the cupboard in the far corner of her room and pulled out a fresh maroon top. She removed her coffee-stained blouse, still damp from the liquid and draped it across the back of her black leather office chair before slipping the satin material of the new one over her head. She just pulled on her black blazer once again when her office phone began to ring.

“Sadie speaking,” she answered into the receiver.

“Sadie, it’s Will. Do you mind stopping by my office before your meeting this morning? I have some changes to your trip I’d like to notify you of,” the deep voice of her boss, Will, echoes through the receiver.

“Of course, I’ll be right there,” she responded cheerfully.

Sadie made her way down the hallway to the corner, where Will’s massive glass-paned office stood. Sadie had spent many days daydreaming of how she would decorate her office once she was a CEO, when she had an office with just as much natural light and space as Will’s.

Sadie knocked on the door once and was greeted with a boisterous “Come in.” After opening the door, she was greeted by the face of her boss. Will Hartman was a middle-aged man, with a bit of a receding hairline and salt-and-pepper color to his hair. He’d been working at the company for over 20 years now, and had all the credentials to prove it. But despite his success, Sadie found him to be one of the most down-to-earth people she knew, always offering the right balance of challenges and encouragement to his employees.

It’s only when Sadie stepped into the room that she realized Will isn’t alone. In fact there was a brunette man in a navy suit standing across from him at the desk. The same navy suit that had ruined her perfectly good morning just minutes earlier.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” she thought to herself.

“Sadie, I’d like you to meet Niall Horan, he’s our new business associate,” Will said, gesturing to the asshole that spilled coffee all over Sadie earlier this morning.

“Nice to meet you,” Sadie reached her hand out to shake Niall’s trying to muster up as much fake politeness in her voice as possible. But the last thing she wanted to do was be polite to the man that had ruined her morning.

“Likewise,” Niall replied, but Sadie can see a bit off a smirk forming on the side of his lips, which only makes the irritation in her gut grow.

“Sadie, I assume Kate let you know about her conflict?” Will asked, bringing Sadie’s attention back to her boss.

“She did, yes.”

“Well it just so happens that the timing of this couldn’t be more perfect,” Will began. “We’ve decided what better way to get Mr. Horan acclimated to our company then by having him jump right in to one of our largest business deals. Mr. Horan will be accompanying you to your meeting with the Thompsons in Minneapolis.”

Sadie felt her face grow stone cold. But she recuperates quickly. “Wonderful,” she smiled through her teeth, looking at Niall in her peripheral vision. An amused smirk still sat on his lips, as if he found the whole encounter to be quite comical. But Sadie didn’t find it to be comical in the least, because now instead of a girl’s trip, or even a solo road trip to clear her mind, she would be spending six hours in a car with someone that quite easily could be the most inconsiderate person she’d ever met.

“I think you are the perfect person, Sadie, to show Niall the ropes. In fact, when I interviewed Niall, I couldn’t help but think of how much he reminded me of you.”

“Really?” Sadie asked rhetorically. She couldn’t believe that Will had just compared her to the likes of a man who spilled his coffee on someone and didn’t even apologize for it.

“Yep, I think that Niall here has the same drive and work ethic as you have. We need more people working here that make work their priority. I mean you’re practically the same person. Niall has big shoes to fill with the effort you’ve put in in your short time here with us,” Will stated.

Sadie tried her best to keep her face pleasant, but internally, her head was screaming as to how somehow who acted like Niall had this morning could possibly be compared to her. Sure she could be determined, cut-throat and at times a bit ruthless, but she would never in a million years act the way he had this morning.

“Well, I’ll let you get to your meeting Sadie, I’m sure you and Niall will have plenty of time to get to know each other on the drive Wednesday,” Will smiled.

“Thank you,” Sadie responded politely, turning to make her way out of the door.

“See you Wednesday,” she heard the accented voice of Niall echo as she stepped out of Will’s office.

Sadie didn’t turn around. No new hire or coffee-spilling jerk was going to take her chance at a promotion away from her. She’d be sure of that.

***********************************

“So do you want to drive first or should I?” Niall asked as Sadie threw her luggage into the trunk of the black Toyota Camry the company had rented for their roadtrip. She still wasn’t sure how she was ever going to survive six hours in the car with Niall, who had only grown more annoying in his first two days in the office.

Will had been right about one thing. Niall had the same workhorse personality that Sadie had- and it was driving Sadie absolutely nuts. Sadie had never felt as if she had competition in the office, but when Niall started making business plans for clients in only his second day of working- plans that Will praised- Sadie began to grow irritated. No one came into the company and had that much power on day one. Not even Sadie.

“Why don’t you drive first so I don’t have to listen to your backseat driver commentary?” Sadie sighed, handing over the keys to Niall, as she headed to the passenger seat.

“How do you know I’m a backseat driver?” Niall asked amused.

“Aren’t all guys like you backseat drivers,” Sadie rolled her eyes.

“All guys like me huh, you think you’ve got me all figured out don’t you.”

“First impressions tell you a lot about a person,” Sadie replied, turning her gaze to look out the window as they began to merge onto the interstate. She hoped that Niall would get the hint that this trip was not going to be full of conversation. If it were up to her, they would be driving to and from the meeting with as little conversation as possible.

“Oh believe me I know,” Niall chuckled, causing Sadie to snap her head back to look over at him.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“My first impression of you hasn’t been wrong,” Niall shrugged, sliding on a pair of black aviators.

“And what was that?” Sadie asked, her curiosity getting the better of her.

“That you’re a lonely woman approaching her thirties who devotes her time to her work to fill the void in her personal life. Oh, and you’re clumsy.”

“I thought you accused me of having one-night stands,” Sadie spit back in defense.

“You can be getting all the action in the world and still be lonely,” Niall replied.

Sadie huffed, turning her attention back to the window. Niall had her all wrong. She was devoted to her work, yes. But it wasn’t because she was lonely or felt like she had a void in her life. She had friends, she had wine, she had, well- her work. She wasn’t afraid of love or being with someone, she just didn’t want that love to ruin her career. She was taking care of herself first, and she wasn’t about to let some douchebag tell her that she was alone.

“So what was your first impression of me then,” Niall continued.

“My impression of you?” Sadie questioned, feeling that surely by now Niall knew exactly what she thought of him.

“Yes, other than, you know, being a backseat driver.”

“Hmm, let me think,” Sadie said, theatrically tapping her chin. “You, Niall Horan, are a cocky asshole who thinks a nice suit and a fake accent will get him any girl and anything that his heart desires, when in reality, you’re just an insecure man who is afraid of ending up alone.”

“This accent isn’t fake darling.”

“What are you British or something?” Sadie raised an eyebrow.

“Irish, actually.”

“A leprechaun then,” Sadie teased as Niall rolled his eyes. Sadie watches Niall as he focuses on the road, observing the dark stubble on the sides of his cheeks and the sharp angle of his nose. She could see how he could get the girls, he was an attractive man. But thankfully, she’d been able to see his utterly obnoxious personality. No amount of good looks could make up for that.

A comfortable silence fell over the pair, and Sadie was thankful that Niall halted his offensive conversation before she got the urge to jump out of the car. Maybe she had been more spot on in her analysis of Niall then he let on. Niall’s words were definitely reverberating in her own head.

But the silence doesn’t last forever. “How long have you been working here?” Niall asked, breaking up the silence and replacing it with uncomfortable small talk.

“We don’t have to do this,” Sadie snapped back. There was absolutely nothing wrong with sitting in silence and watching the fields of the Midwest pass by her window.

“Maybe I want to know more about the shoes that I have to fill in Will’s eyes,” Niall suggested.

“Like you could ever live up to me,” Sadie scoffs.

“How long?” Niall persisted, and Sadie realized this conversation wasn’t going to end until she gave an answer.

“Three years,” Sadie stated.

“And this meeting were are traveling for? It's a pretty big deal isn’t it?”

“It is..” Sadie said slowly, wondering where Niall was going with all this questioning. Was he here to sabotage her deal?

“You’re worried I’m going to outshine you- with my nice suit and fake accent and all,” Niall laughed, his eyes meeting Sadie’s.

Sadie paused, that was exactly what she was worried about. But she certainly wasn’t about to let Niall know that. “I’m very good at my job Niall, I’m not worried about you in the least bit.”

“And you, why did you start this job?” Sadie asked. If Niall was going to interrogate her, she might as well do the same about him.

“It seemed like a good next step for my career,” Niall admitted with a shrug. “And I guess I needed a change of scenery.” The last part of his sentence is added on hesitantly, almost as if he isn’t sure if he should mention it. Sadie pushed it aside. She wasn’t interested in hearing Niall’s life story, she was just interested in getting to her meeting, sealing the deal and getting the promotion that had she dreamed about ever since she first started her job at the company.

“Is that snow?” Sadie asked, noting the a small flick of crystallized liquid landing on the windshield. Although she knew that the weather in early November could grow a little cold, she hadn’t expected any snow in the forecast.

“Just some flurries,” Niall stated, using the windshield wipers to wipe the evidence of precipitation from our viewing area. Sadie nodded and settled back into her seat, crossing her arms around her chest and attempted to get some rest, or rather some relief from conversation with Niall.

*************************************

But it wasn’t just some flurries. No, the flurries soon turned to rapidly falling snow. The wind picked up and the visibility dropped, and soon Niall and Sadie could barely see a few feet in front of their vehicle.

“And this is why we should fly,” Sadie groaned as the car crawled along the highway, Niall leaned over the steering wheel in an attempt to see the road better.

“Why don’t we do that again?” Niall asked. It was a genuinely good question, one that Sadie had asked herself thousands of times during her time with the business.

“Because Will’s all for cutting corners. Plus he believes traveling by car gives his employees a sense of humility.”

“Humility or an accident waiting to happen,” Niall mutters, and Sadie finds herself smiling for the first time of the trip. Their method of travel was one thing the pair could agree on.

“And of course, there’s no cell signal,” Sadie maneuvered her phone from corner to corner in the car in an attempt to get any sort of data that could tell her just how long this lack of visibility was going to last. It was a good thing their meeting wasn’t until tomorrow morning.

Niall reaches over onto the console and begins fiddling with the radio. There’s static and then finally a loud voice. “The county is currently under a blizzard warning through 10am tomorrow morning. Travel is not advised.”

“A blizzard, seriously, could this trip get any worse,” Sadie threw her hands up in the air. “This was supposed to be my girl’s trip,” she muttered to herself.

“We’re gonna have to find a place to wait out this storm,” Niall said matter-of-factly.

“If we do that we aren’t going to make it to the meeting,” Sadie replied with irritation. Niall may have only just started this job, but Sadie knew the importance of these meetings. You couldn’t just not show up, blizzard or not.

“So you want us to kill ourselves driving in this blizzard? No thank you, I’m sure if you call when we get in we can push the meeting for a little later tomorrow.”

Sadie sighed and gave in to Niall’s request. Hopefully the Thompson’s would be understanding of the circumstances.

*******************************

"Bad storm we've got our there, huh," the broad bearded man at the hotel check-in noted as Sadie and Niall burst into the lobby. Sadie felt the large snowflakes that covered her body begin to melt in the warmth, leaving her a wet and soggy mess.

The little motel off the nearest exit was not the kind of place that Sadie would have imagined herself staying. The blue shutters on the outside had paint peeling off, and the siding was cracking. The inside of lobby resembled much of what Sadie imagined old creepy cabin to look like- with floor to ceiling dark wooden blanks and a moose head hung above the fireplace. She shuddered and tried not to think about the bed bugs that might be lurking under the sheets.

"Let me guess, the two of you are looking for a place to wait out the storm?" The man shifted his gaze from Sadie to Niall, who offered up a polite nod.

"That would be correct sir, two rooms please."

The man looked down at his papers, scratching his dark beard before remaking eye contact with a look of apology."I'm afraid I only have one room left, seems the storm has trapped quite a few people in our little old town."

"We'll take it," Niall said sharply just as Sadie was about to ask for other lodging locations.

Sadie glared at Niall, annoyed by his assumption that she would go along with whatever decision he chose to make. "You can have that room, I'll go see if any other nearby hotels have space."

"Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but the closest hotel is 30 miles north of here, and you’re not getting there in these conditions,” the man replied. Sadie felt her face fall.

“Guess we’ll take your room then,” she said with a huff of irritation. She didn’t want to think about having to spend even more time with Niall, but at least in a hotel room they could divide the room into sides.

“Don’t know how long this blizzard will be going, but if you get bored there’s a pub just next door. We’ve got some blizzard drink specials even.”

“We’ll have to check it out,” Niall said authoritatively. “Thank you.” He grabbed one keycard before sliding the other across the counter to Sadie. Then the two picked up their bags and headed up the elevator.

“304, here it is,” Niall slid the keycard into the lock, and opened the door to reveal a small hotel room. Like the lobby, it resembled much of a log cabin, with an overwhelming smell of musty wood and even a pair of antlers hanging decoratively on the wall.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Sadie groaned. In the middle of the room, sat a single bed, with an obnoxious yellow floral bedspread. She scanned the room for a couch, a chair, anything that could maybe be used as a bed. Nothing.

“Fuck,” Niall muttered under his breath.

“Did you forget to ask for two beds?” Sadie said sarcastically. Was Niall trying to turn this into the absolute worst business trip in the history of business trips? Was this some sort of test put on by Will to see if Sadie could handle additional responsibility? Because so far it wasn’t going well.

“Oh yes Sadie, I forgot to ask for two beds because I just couldn’t wait to spend even more time next to your grumpy ass,” Niall sneered, before setting his suitcase next to the bed. Sadie hoped he wasn’t assuming that she would be sleeping on the floor- because that wasn’t happening.

Sadie took a seat on the bed, after careful examination for any obvious dirt, then pulled out her phone in search for service. The upper corner of the screen still blared no signal. She glanced over at old wired telephone on the bedside table. A phone call would have to suffice.

“Hello?” she heard Will’s voice answer on the other line.

“Hi Will, it’s Sadie, I’m sorry to bother you right now but we’ve got a bit of a problem.”

“You guys didn’t hit that blizzard did you?” Will asked.

“Unfortunately we did, we had to pull off and find a place to stay. We are in the middle of nowhere and there’s no service. Is there anyway you can see if we can push the Thompson meeting until later tomorrow?”

“Oh I’m sure that would be fine, I’ll give them a call,” Will replied, and Sadie felt a sigh of relief rush over her.

“Thank you so much,” Sadie breathed. Maybe her chances at a promotion wouldn’t be ruined after all.

“It will be fine Sadie, don’t you worry,” Will said, seeming to read Sadie’s mind. “Now why don’t you and Niall take this unexpected delay as some time to enjoy yourself. I know how you two are- all work and no fun. Why don’t you have a drink on me tonight?”

“Oh, no that’s not necessary,” Sadie protested.

“That’s an assignment not an offer,” Will replied. “I’ll call you in the morning with the updated meeting time.” And with that Will hung up.

“All good with the meeting time change?” Niall asked, he had changed from his slacks and tie and now wore a black Nike T-shirt and shorts.

“Yes,” Sadie sighed.

“See nothing to worry about,” Niall smirked.

“Will says we need to go get a drink- on him.”

“I could go for a cold beer right about now,” Niall smiled. Sadie couldn’t agree more, well, not on the beer part, but a nice glass of wine might do wonders to the tension in her body right now.

“To the bar it is,” Sadie commanded, standing up from the bed and grabbing her purse. “Oh and by the way,” she added as the closed the door to the room. “I’m not sleeping on the floor.”

“Figured you say that,” Niall smiled, and Sadie watched as a hint of his blue eyes sparkled, before turning away.

*******************

A glass of wine and three shots later, thanks in part to the pub’s “blizzard specials”, Sadie felt herself start to relax and her inhibitions starting to fade. Sitting next to Niall at the bar seemed slightly more tolerable- slightly.

“So how long have you two been together?” the Joel, the bald-headed bartender asks as he poured Sadie and Niall each another drink.

“Excuse me,” Sadie said, thrown off by the question. How could he possibly think that she and Niall were dating? They practically hated each other, and she surely wasn’t drunk enough to give off that impression.

“Oh we aren’t dating,” Niall corrected. Joel excused himself and retreated to another customer. Niall glanced over at Sadie, who could feel the color in her cheeks rising. He raised an eyebrow and gave her a cheeky grin.

“What happened with coffee shop guy?”

“Who?” Sadie asked, wondering what on earth Niall was talking about.

“You know, the guy who was yelling at you at the coffee shop. The one who caused you to so gracefully run into me,” Niall chuckled. Sadie glared at him recalling the encounter.

“Oh you mean my ‘one night stand’,” Sadie used air quotes for Niall’s words.

“Yes, him,” Niall said, placing an arm on the counter and resting his head on his hand as if this conversation was remotely interesting.

“We went on a few dates. He got attached, I didn’t. End of story,” Sadie took another sip of her drink, wondering why on earth she was revealing the details of her love life to someone like Niall Horan. Maybe she was beginning to feel the alcohol a little too much.

“Sadie Wilkinson the heartbreaker, huh,” Niall smiled, his blue eyes crinkling at the corners.

“I’m not a heartbreaker,” Sadie protested. “I just have different priorities in life, goals to meet, companies to run..you know.” She took another drink, hoping that the alcohol would wash away the thoughts that were creeping up in the back of her mind.

“The workaholic who’s afraid love will interfere with her success,” Niall stated looking directly into Sadie’s eyes. For a second, she freezes, because somehow Niall had read her mind.

Because that’s what it really came down to wasn’t it? Sadie was afraid that falling in love would make her vulnerable, weak, unable to accomplish her goals. Because that’s what love did to people, it made them selfless, willing to give up their own hopes and dreams for the happiness of another person. She’d watch her own mother give up her passion of writing for a more stable job as an English teacher so the family could support her father’s recording studio business. So when Sadie’s dad left one night when Sadie was twelve and never came back, her mother had nothing but a job she hated and a twelve-year-old daughter to support.

Sadie vowed that would never be her. She would never give up her own dreams for something as transient as love. She would accomplish her goals first, and find love second.

“And what about you, mister hotshot,” Sadie stared at Niall, noticing that his face had softened with the alcohol and his eyes had grown bluer. “Do you have a lovely lady at home, maybe a few?”

Niall glared at Sadie, his annoyance evident. She smiled to herself, happy that she seemed to be able to get under Niall’s skin as much as he was getting under hers. “I don’t date. Too busy with work.”

“And why’s that? A girl break your heart or something?” Sadie laughed, but watched as Niall’s gave shifted back to the bar as picked up another drink.

“Something like that,” he said stoically. Sadie’s smile faded, replaced with a bit of guilt. Maybe Niall wasn’t the cocky asshole who slept around, maybe he was the asshole that had his heartbroken and devoted himself to his work instead.

“Two tequila shots please,” Sadie shouted at Joel, surprising even herself with her boldness. She usually wasn’t a drinker, especially not when there were important work meetings at stake. But something about her conversation with Niall had driven a need for more alcohol. And maybe the two workaholics needed a bit of fun to get rid of the stress.

Joel sets the liquid in front of the two. Sadie holds up her shot glass in the air. Niall follows. “To work, our one true love.”

Niall laughs. “To work.” The two clink glasses before pouring the burning liquid down their throats.

“Let’s dance,” Niall suggested, obviously feeling the effects of the alcohol as much as Sadie.

“Do I look like the type of person that dances?” Sadie crossed her arms in front of her chest.

“We are stuck in a fucking cabin in the middle of a blizzard, I think anything goes at this point,” Niall laughed, standing up and offering Sadie a hand.

“Fine,” she said, grabbing his hand. His fingers were soft but strong, and she feels her own fingertips tingle- obviously an effect of the alcohol. “But don’t be trying any of your moves on me.”

“Wouldn’t dare,” Niall smiled, and for the first time on their trip, Sadie felt like maybe he wasn’t the worst person in the world.

*************************************

“DON’T STOP BELIEVIN’, HOLD ONTO THAT FEEELINNNG!” Niall and Sadie shouted as the exited the elevator and stumbled back to their hotel room. It was a little after two am, the pair had managed to close down the club with their dance moves and bad karaoke.

They’d had a little to drink. Okay, maybe a lot, because Sadie couldn’t remember the last time that she’d ever sang in a hotel hallway at the top of her lungs. Maybe at her 21st birthday- but even that was a maybe.

Surprisingly though, Sadie didn’t feel an ounce of regret for her wild night. It was slightly freeing, invigorating even to not worry about work for an evening. She might even dare to say that she had fun- a word that rarely was part of her vocabulary anymore.

“Shit, I’m drunk,” Niall said, stumbling into the hotel room and grabbing a pillow off the bed and laying on the hard wooden floor.

“Definitely going to regret this in the morning,” Sadie agreed, filling a glass of water in the hotel sink before plopping down on the bed behind her.

“I can’t remember the last time I drank like this,” Niall admits, staring up at the ceiling from his spot on the floor. Sadie noted how his formerly neatly groomed hair was now sticking out from all angles, giving him the appearance of more a poodle than a man.

“Same,” Sadie groaned.”God you’re a bad influence.”.

“Me? If I remember correctly it was you that started ordering all the tequila shots.”

“Only because you started getting all sad talking about your love life,” Sadie defended.

“I wasn’t sad about my love life, Sadie,” Niall defended, his voice slower due to the amount of alcohol he had consumed. “I’ve just realized that being in love isn’t worth the time.”

“Finally someone who gets it,” Sadie flipped herself over on the bed so she was looking down at Niall. “All society tells us from the moment we enter childhood is that love is the only thing that will make us happy, the solution to all of our problems. But it’s exactly the opposite. Love is the cause of all our problems, because if we stopped worrying about falling in love and focused on ourselves, on what we could accomplish in life, we’d be so much better off. We’d get rid of all the drama. And you know what we’d be accomplished and happy, so screw love,” Sadie’s voice was louder than expected.

“And now you say, ‘Thank you for coming to my TED talk’,” Niall chuckled. “But you’re right, screw love.”

Sadie felt her cheeks begin to from a smile. Those tequila shots had really done her in, because know she was connecting with Niall Horan on their mutual distaste for love.“Will might have been right about the two of us.”

“Right about what,” Niall asked, his eyes meeting Sadie’s.

“That the two of us are one and the same,” Sadie said, surprised that the words even left her mouth.

“I’m just a little more charming and less annoying,” Niall smirked, to which Sadie threw a pillow at him in response.

“Ooowww,” Niall squealed dramatically.

“But for the record I still think you’re a bit of an asshole,” Sadie said. She couldn’t let Niall think he’d won her over after all.

“This floor is hard as a rock. If I wake up and am still able to walk it will be a miracle,” Niall groaned, resituating himself on the floor. He looked up at Sadie with a pouty face.

“Fine we can share the bed, but if you so much as touch me,” Sadie threatened, scooching over to make room for Niall.

“Got it, I got it, I’m a dead man,” Niall said, climbing into the bed next to Sadie. She felt the warmth of his body immediately, but tried to ignore it, shoving a pillow between the two of them.

“Really Sadie, a pillow, what are we twelve?”

“I may be drunk Niall Horan, but I am not stupid. Pillow or the floor, your pick.”

Niall groaned but settled onto his side of the bed, with only a pillow separating the two from touching.

“Goodnight,” he said, not expecting a reply.

“Goodnight,” Sadie whispered, surprising even herself.

******************************************

Sadie woke up with Niall’s arm wrapped around her waist and her head snuggled beneath his neck. Although she thought her initial reaction would be to fling Niall off of her and tell him off for not abiding by the pillow barrier, she stayed completely still.

There was something about lying in Niall’s arms that felt rather calming, like she didn’t have to worry about what was coming next. Or maybe Sadie was only feeling like this because she woke up with a pounding head and a swirling stomach- neither of which was ideal for her meeting with the Thompsons this afternoon.

The Thompsons. Sadie suddenly remembered that Will would be calling her with information about the meeting, which hopefully had been rescheduled. She only hoped that ringing of the telephone at some point this morning wouldn’t worsen her headache.

Sadie feels Niall stir behind her, and she closed her eyes quickly to avoid being caught as a willing participant in this spooning position. “Shit,” she heard Niall’s voice mutter as he awoke, likely observing their positioning on the bed and worrying for his safety.

She tried to hold in the giggle that was building, but soon it escapes her lips fully audible for Niall to hear.

“You’re awake?” Niall asked with confusion, removing his hand from Sadie’s waist. She felt the cold air replace Niall’s warm body, and a part of her longed for the return of his touch.

“Just woke up,” Sadie murmured, turning to meet Niall’s face. His face was tired, his hair even more wild than last night, and his eyes were slightly surrounded by bags. Unlike his usual tough professional appearance, he looked soft and warm.

“What?” Sadie asked, when she realized that Niall had been staring at her as much as she’d been staring at him. She figured she really looked like a mess, because judging by the mascara stains on her white pillowcase, racoon eyes were highly probable.

“You look so different in the morning,” Niall said softly.

“You mean I look like shit,” Sadie raised an eyebrow.

“No, I mean more relaxed, less put together. But equally beautiful.” Niall seemed to realize what he said as his cheeks began to turn red. “Sorry I don’t know why I said that, hangover brain talking.”

Sadie pushed it aside, but she couldn’t help but feel a flutter in her just thinking that Niall had called her beautiful. But before she has a chance to respond the phone rings, and Will’s on the other end.

“I hope you had a good night,” he asked.

“We did,” Sadie nodded, clutching her head a little at the loud volume of the receiver.

“Well, I got the meeting moved to this afternoon, and judging by the news it looks like the road has cleared up quite a bit. You two should have plenty of time to get there.”

“Thanks Will, I really appreciate it,” Sadie responded.

“No problem. Oh and Sadie,” Will interjected right as Sadie was about to hang up. “Aspirin is your friend.”

“Meeting still on?” Niall asks as Sadie hangs up on the phone.

“This afternoon,” she replied. “Will says the blizzard has cleared up so we shouldn’t have any problems.

“Shame, I was thinking we could do a reprise of our karaoke last night,” Niall smiled and Sadie laughed.

“I think that both of us would much rather finalize this deal with the Thompsons don’t you think,” she replied, grabbing her suitcase and searching for a new pant suit to wear. This little detour had been more fun than she thought, but she had to remember the real reason she was here. To get her promotion.

**********************************************

After an afternoon of negotiation, lots of water, and a few aspirin, Sadie sealed the deal with the Thompsons and the two headed back to Chicago and their regular working lives. Unlike the first few hours of their journey together, Sadie found that the conversation between the two flowed easily. Niall wasn’t quite the man she had first thought him to be, and Sadie most definitely not who Niall thought she was.

Sadie couldn’t explain the feeling in the pit of her stomach when she gazed at Niall from the passenger seat. There was something about him that she couldn’t put her finger on, and though the alcohol may have long left her system, there was a part of her that thought maybe Niall got her, in a way no guy had ever gotten her before.

Sadie felt a twinge of disappointment when the two pulled up to the office building, nightfall surrounding them. Niall placed the car in park and they sat in silence for a moment, neither knowing just what to say.

“Can’t believe we survived that trip,” Niall laughed. “Really thought you were going to kill me there in the beginning.”

“Surprised I didn’t,” Sadie responded with a grin. “It was fun though. I had fun.”

“Me too,” Niall said quietly. Sadie felt his eyes drop from her own down to her lips, and she subconsciously brought herself closer to Niall. Then suddenly, Niall’s lips are on her own. She didn’t pull away, instead letting the electricity flow through her body as his hands met the nape of her neck, intertwining in her blonde hair.

Niall pulled away suddenly. “Sorry, don’t know why I did that.”

Sadie set her hand on top of Niall’s giving him a reassuring squeeze. A few days ago she would have screamed at him for thinking he even had a chance with her, but now. Well now all she wanted was for him to do that again.

Niall cleared his throat. “Umm, Sadie would you maybe,” his eyes shifted to the ground, as if he was afraid making eye contact might make the situation more awkward. “Would you maybe like to go get dinner sometime?”

“Like a date?” Sadie asked intrigued. “I thought Niall Horan doesn’t date.”

“Maybe I’d make an exception,” he replied.

“Okay,” Sadie smiled. “But on one condition.”

“What’s that?”

“You understand that my work always comes first.”

“Already in my list of terms and conditions darling,” Niall smiled before pulling Sadie in for another kiss.

#1dff #cliche challenge #niall

101 notes · View notes

mahou-furbies · 5 years

Text

On the teams in Magical Girl Raising Project : Restart

When reading MagiPro Restart I paid attention to how different the dynamics in each team were and how fun it was to read about them, so here’s an appreciation post. (note that this is based on just the two Restart novels; I haven’t read most of the side stories about these characters).

Team Daisy

The team whose dynamics most resemble the more common magical girl team where there is an upbeat, friendly and supportive vibe going on. When reading from the POV of a character in this group I get the feeling that they all enjoy being together, and don't have any major disagreements. Especially the enthusiastic and outgoing NyanNyan and Genopsyko get along really well and behave like longtime friends even if they only just met, and being invested in Genopsyko's well-being becomes a very defining character trait for NyanNyan as the story goes on and even causes her to act irrationally and recklessly. And the young and unassuming Nokko-chan inspires protectiveness from everyone, but she still manages to hold her own in a pinch.

There is more to the team dynamics than just everyone being nice though. The former magical girl celebrity Magical Daisy had been living a lonely and dull life after the anime in which she starred ended, and now finds herself enjoying the fact that she ended up as the group leader and has people depending on her again. I feel that her relationship with her team is a bit shallow, and that she sees them in the role of an audience to some degree and doesn't form that close friendships with them as people. There is also some charming childishness about her; like she often thinks about how she wants to use her flashy beam attack for the sake of it, and her reaction to being forced to compete in a game is not only that she wants out but that she would also like to win.

This is not to say I think Daisy is an egoistical or arrogant person; like sure she cares about her team and never thinks badly of them, and the narrative doesn't show her in a bad light either. I also find her enjoying the attention very human, like she's been alone and starved for validation for long, so it's understandable that meeting fans who gush about her show would be flattering. She's like a little skewed version of your typical pure and heroic magical girl lead in that she knows what a good magical girl is and consistently acts upon the expectations, but isn't quite committed to the spirit. Which shows in the way everyone sees her as a mature and competent leader, but the readers get to know that she likes that the game lets her use lethal force on the AI enemies without moral repercussions.

Team Clantail

Team Clantail has a lot more conflict than Team Daisy. Rionetta and Nonako aren't afraid to voice their opinions, and that causes constant quarreling. However they aren't identical in their bitching, with Rionetta being more confrontational and snippy while in Nonako's case it's more like she just says what's on her mind without caring how insensitive it might be. Meanwhile Clantail is the calm and reliable leader who gets stuff done, but she remains distant and doesn't do much to mitigate the drama. Finally there is the timid and anxious Pechka, who has low self esteem and is useless in battle. At first Rionetta and Nonako don't even try to hide the fact that they're only letting her be a part of the team out of social obligation and wouldn’t mind seeing her leave, and Clantail does nothing to make her feel better either.

However the team dynamics drastically change when Pechka reveals her magical cooking ability, and the delicious meals together greatly boost the team's morale. The more competent fighters start to see how Pechka is valuable in the team in an unexpected way, and the tension mitigates and the arguments turn into friendly bickering. As the story goes on, Team Clantail starts to feel more like a tight group of people who care about each other and does well in the game with their teamwork, but the little quarreling and Pechka's self esteem issues keep it from becoming boring and stale.

Team Bell

For the most part these guys come across as having a more practical and business-like relationship and working together just because it's useful, rather than the typical magical girl squad where everyone is best friends and ready to protect the others with their life. They do work well enough together though and advance well in the game, but they have fundamental disagreements to how much they should progress at the expense of the competing teams. At one point Detec Bell even hopes her own team would lose a contest so that they would get better along with the other players.

Detec Bell doesn't have the fighting skills or the required charisma and appears to only be the leader nominally, since ultimately the proud and mysterious Melville does what she feels like and the childish Cherna Mouse only takes orders from Melville. Detec Bell is one of the more mature characters in the book though, and does her best to maintain her team's cohesion and relationships with the other teams. However Team Bell starts to fall apart when suspicions of the unknown killer arise.

All the talk about a dysfunctional team of course doesn't apply to Lapis Lazuline, who is ten times as chummy as the other three put together. She is super cheerful and friendly with everyone and acts enthusiastic and emotionally about everything. Thus she acts as the glue that makes Team Bell stick together and feel like an actual team and not just a bunch of people who happened to stand close to each other when it was time to team up.

Team Pfle

I feel a lot of negative energy emanating from this team... As the story goes on we discover that there's deception in the other teams as well, but in this case we get to follow it closely from within. Pfle is very smart and manipulative, and the first thing she does after being thrown into the game is fake injuries in order to gain empathy and get others do her dirty work. I really like the contrast between Pfle maintaining a friendly and co-operative public image, while we get to read Shadow Gale's narration where she constantly roasts Pfle for being self-absorbed, arrogant or even sadistic.

As a fine lady and her long-suffering friend/servant, Pfle and Shadow Gale are the only girls who knew each other before being transported to the game, and the trust and familiarity they have really shows. While Pfle often doesn't tell what she's planning and sometimes is outright pretty rude towards Shadow Gale, and Shadow Gale's thoughts towards Pfle are often pretty unkind even when her behaviour is polite on the surface, when reading about them I feel secure that they can count on each other. Also in Pfle's defense even if she manages to keep her emotions well in check, she can go to great lengths for those who she considers a part of her in-group.

And then there's of course the third member of the group, Masked Wonder, who is exactly the kind of pure hearted defender of justice who falls for Pfle's fake injury act and becomes the group's muscle. Her straightforward and altruistic behaviour looks even more heroic next to Pfle's scheming, and she also pairs up really well with the equally enthusiastic Lapis Lazuline for some funny scenes.

In conclusion I really like how different every team is in terms of internal relationships and how they relate to the other teams, and handle being forced to compete in the game. And then there's also the fact that when the characters start dying, the survivors form new groups both permanently (like someone whose entire team has been killed gets adopted by another team) or temporarily (when a common goal needs more manpower), which gives even more team dynamics to read about.

Of course the fact that this is such a dark series affects the mood, so a lot of the interaction involves deception, doubt, fear, and violence and death. But I find that the starting point is striking enough that the characters would be interesting to follow even if you put them into a family friendly series, where the point really is just to clear a video game and those who are initially uncooperative learn the power of friendship by the end (and everyone lives). So I really wish more magical girl shows would utilise character writing like this; like obviously I don't mean that next year we should get Murder! Battle Royale Precure<3, but that there are other options besides everyone being best friends from the moment they join the team.

#magical girl raising project #wow this has been in my drafts for months #I remember very little about writing it but here it is anyway #now I've done everything I can with restart and am able to move forward to limited #magical girl raising project: restart #my stuff #ramble ramble

40 notes · View notes

ckret2 · 5 years

Note

King Ghidorah?

I got two of these asks lmao. I choose to believe it's two people who wanna know how I feel about Ghidorah rather than tumblr screwing up.

How I feel about this character

Listen, there's nothing cooler than a three-headed lightning*-breathing dragon from outer space. You've got the objectively best mythological creature ever—the dragon, which is the best because it's a lizard and/or snake, and also flies—and, on top of that, it's an ALIEN, and then you triple that. Best character concept. 10/10.

*Gravity beam shmavity beam. I know lightning when I see it.

And then, on top of that, they've got this wildly underexplored capacity for pure, undiluted angst, the likes of which most people would never think of applying to a character concept that seems tailor-made to be airbrushed on the side of a van—but there it is anyway. They might be pets that were deliberately abandoned in order to mutate them into monsters. Or they might be one-time would-be alien conquerors who were then conquered and mind-controlled by every wave of would-be alien conquerors to come since. Or they might just be the only aliens alone on a world where even the monsters have other monsters to hang out with. And there's nothing I love more than taking characters whose entire character concept is an answer to the question "what would be really really cool?" and then slathering them in emotional depth.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

I came out of KOTM, looked at what fandom was doing with Ghidorah, went "mmm I'm not sure about this sticking-them-with-Rodan thing," and it took y'all all of five minutes to suck me into Rodorah anyway.

I'm determined to drag more folks into Ghidorah/Gigan with me, they have such wonderful potential to be horrid world-flattening alien sadists together, and also empathize over being extremely physically modified and mind-controlled.

While I'm intrigued, theoretically, by the potential of Godzilla/Ghidorah, I've yet to see anyone do it in a way that hits precisely what I'm looking for. ... Or, for that matter, even vaguely what I'm looking for. So I'll hold onto that one and maybe someday someone will make it Just Right.

I also ship the heads with each other due to the fact that Wouldn't That Be Messed Up. What if one head likes another but the other doesn't return the feelings. They've just gotta live with that knowledge and they can't get away from each other. What if you had a crush on someone and a mad scientist saw it and went "ah, these ones are compatible!" and stitched you together and you were stuck like that for the next million years. That's messed up right. That's super messed up.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

It's on my ship list, but Ghidorah & Gigan is also my top platonic pair for Ghidorah, for the same reasons.

But going with someone who isn't on the list! Okay quick partial movie summary for those of y'all that haven't seen 1991 Godzilla vs King Ghidorah: in Heisei, King Ghidorah is made by time-traveling humans from the future, including one named Emmy Kano who explains that dorats are genetically engineered pets with empathic abilities, and interacts with them the most before abandoning them in the past to be nuked into King Ghidorah. They fight Godzilla, Godzilla rips off Ichi and kills them, Emmy goes into the future to get their corpse a cyborg resurrection with a new middle head, and goes back to the past with Mecha King Ghidorah while serving as Mecha Ichi's pilot and commanding them as a whole. They die again defeating Godzilla but Emmy survives and goes home.

ALL THAT TO SAY: it's never stated, but I like to headcanon that the dorats were Emmy's pets—or at least that she was in charge of taking care of them until they could be mutated and they FELT like they were her pets; that they were broken-hearted when she abandoned them in the past; that they could sense Emmy nearby due to their Unexplained Empath Powers the first time they fought Godzilla; and that when they were brought back from the dead to find Their Owner Was Back and fighting alongside them they were overjoyed to see her again and do anything she wanted.

So, Emmy & Ghidorah, because the idea of these sweet tiny pets being turned into a big terrifying monster but at heart remaining sweet tiny pets around their owner enchants me. I do plan on writing a substitute-Emmy into my KOTM Ghidorah's backstory.

My unpopular opinion about this character

"hey didn't you sorta talk about this yesterday" yeah because while trying to answer this question i got distracted by an overlapping topic and had to go make a post about it in order to stop thinking about it

This is sort of an overall one about KOTM, but vaguely sticking to the parts of it applicable to Ghidorah:

So we've got all these titans that have been alive for like, five minutes. Ghidorah's been awake probably a sum total of four hours. Until now nobody even knew that he was from a different planet, so I mean, Monarch's got less than zero information on him. The only three things he's been observed doing so far are 1) trying to kick Godzilla's ass, 2) successfully kicking Rodan's ass, and 3) yelling so loud a dozen plus other titans wake up.

And then this dude whose defining character traits are "hating Godzilla and other titans in spite of the mounds of scientific evidence that they're great for the environment" and "deciding that he knows everything better than the actual experts in the room who have dedicated their lives to these subjects and pigheadedly shouting over them with his own just-walked-in-the-room ideas," he looks at this situation and "oh, this Ghidorah, he's definitely a rival alpha to Godzilla," he says, as if the "alpha dog" theory hasn't been thoroughly and painfully debunked in the very wolves he studies, and as if it makes sense for seventeen-odd different species who might never have been awake and alive during the same era until now to not only have identical alpha-based social hierarchies but also share a social hierarchy across species and predator/prey lines, and as if it makes sense for an alien animal who didn't evolve on Earth to have anything in common with the local animals, including an understanding of and agreement with their local hierarchical structures...

And we're just... as a fandom, we're really just collectively accepting everything Man Who Became A Drunk And Abandoned His Family Because He Doesn't Know How To Express Any Emotion But Anger says about this hyper-masculine social structure that he's projected onto these wildly inhuman species? As if what he says is the gospel truth? Everything that gets said about alphas and kings, we're just assuming that the titans—who again, are not human, and may have never communicated with humans—have the exact same mental constructs about "alpha dog" theory and monarchy that humans do? We're assuming animals have concepts of kingship identical to ours? We're assuming that the theories that these humans tossed out within the first few hours of seeing most of these species move for the first time are 100% correct, even though in real life we'd been observing wolves for literal millennia before we came up with "alpha dog" theory and then within a century figured out it was totally wrong? Really? That's what we're going with? Not questioning whether anything about the humans' assumptions might have been wrong?

Okay.

So anyway my interpretation of Ghidorah is a hypnotic siren who doesn't know or care about Earth leadership, solely wants to destroy Earth for funsies, and only has a rivalry with Godzilla because Godzilla doesn't want the planet that he is living on to be destroyed and happens to be the sole dude tough enough to beat Ghidorah up.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

Mecha King Ghidorah Mecha King Ghidorah Mecha King Ghidorah.

But unlike other folks, I don't really want him to show up in Godzilla vs. Kong. I want that conflict to be the focus of the movie. Throw in MKG, and Godzilla and Kong's rivalry—whatever it's based on—has to get truncated to deal with this other threat, and MKG won't get a whole movie to shine as the primary villain. I'd like to save him for a future movie, where he can be billed as the primary threat rather than something that swoops in to interrupt someone else's movie.

#king ghidorah #ghidorah #godzilla #anonymous #ask #meme

42 notes · View notes

theliberaltony · 4 years

Link

via Politics – FiveThirtyEight

Welcome to FiveThirtyEight’s weekly politics chat. The transcript below has been lightly edited.

sarahf (Sarah Frostenson, politics editor): Let’s not bury the lede: Former New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg is joining his first debate of the cycle tomorrow night in Nevada, even though he’s largely skipped competing in the first four states. He’ll be joined by five other candidates: former Vice President Joe Biden; former South Bend, Indiana, Mayor Pete Buttigieg; Sen. Amy Klobuchar; Sen. Bernie Sanders; and Sen. Elizabeth Warren.

And things are sure to get heated fast. Sanders is currently the polling leader in Nevada and favored to win the state, according to our forecast, but Bloomberg is catching up and is now at 16.1 percent in our national polling average, essentially tied with Biden.

So what should we expect tonight? Attacks on Sanders’s newly minted front-runner status? Or will the country’s first look at Bloomberg overshadow everything else?

natesilver (Nate Silver, editor in chief): I’m glad that we finally have an opportunity to talk about Michael Bloomberg since no one else is paying attention to him.

sarahf: Haha, fair. There’s nothing the media loves more than making a non-story a story.

nrakich (Nathaniel Rakich, elections analyst): The safest bet is that Bloomberg will bear the brunt of most attacks, right? That’s how it has played out in the media this week, between allegations he created a hostile workplace for women and renewed focus on the racial dimension of the stop-and-frisk policing strategy, which Bloomberg supported as mayor.

natesilver: It seems like a safe-ish bet, especially since NOBODY SEEMS TO HAVE NOTICED THAT BERNIE SANDERS IS IN FIRST PLACE IN NATIONAL POLLS AND IS IN PRETTY GOOD POSITION TO WIN THE NOMINATION.

nrakich: Yeah, it’s a pretty sweet deal for Sanders that he has largely been spared attacks even though he’s the primary front-runner after winning New Hampshire (and, arguably, Iowa). He looks on track to win Nevada, too! He’s a more imminent threat than Bloomberg is to the other candidates.

ameliatd (Amelia Thomson-DeVeaux, senior writer): Honestly, I think Sanders is really lucky that Bloomberg made it into this debate — since it’s Bloomberg’s first debate, it seems like a safe bet that everyone is going to go after him.

sarahf: BUT at this point … shouldn’t we be paying attention to Bloomberg?

He’s tied with Biden in our national polling average!!

[Our Latest Forecast: Who Will Win The 2020 Democratic Primary?]

natesilver: Of course people should be paying attention to Bloomberg, Sarah! But these things are also self-fulfilling prophecies to some extent. The fact that he’s gotten so much more attention than, say, Buttigieg or Klobuchar or Warren is something that media critics should think about. If you take off that media critic hat, he’s obviously a real contender for the nomination now.

ameliatd: I wonder if the attention on Bloomberg will make it harder or easier for the other candidates to stand out. Warren, for instance, could really use a strong performance a la Klobuchar in New Hampshire. I could see it going a couple of ways — maybe being able to attack Bloomberg on stage gives her a little viral moment. Or maybe the fact that everyone will likely be going after Bloomberg makes it harder for her to steal the spotlight.

kaleigh (Kaleigh Rogers, FiveThirtyEight contributor): That’s true, especially when people are eager for the field to start winnowing. Adding a new face might feel like going backwards, and could certainly be distracting.

natesilver: It wouldn’t necessarily surprise me if Bloomberg goes after Sanders in a big way, by the way. His team has certainly been escalating conflict with Sanders. And it plays into his message that he’s the first train leaving the station if you want an alternative to Bernie.

What Bloomberg DOESN’T want is Buttigieg or Klobuchar to surge. He wants to keep things a bit muddled.

Nor does he want a Biden comeback narrative to start brewing. So if he can make news by attacking Sanders or otherwise giving a memorable performance, that probably works for him. It’s not unlike Trump in 2016.

sarahf: And maybe this is less likely, but Sanders could go after Bloomberg. It’s probably too good of an opportunity for him not to at least try and land something. There will literally be a billionaire on stage who has spent a lot of money to buy access for his bid for the presidency. (In fact, Bloomberg has probably spent the most on his campaign out of any other presidential candidate … ever?!?!)

But OK, wait wait. What’s the basis for the idea that we’re NOT paying enough attention to Sanders?

natesilver: That he’s first in national polls and that he’s actually, y’know, had people vote for him and won states, which is what these election things are supposed to be about.

Nobody in the mainstream media has the right to complain about paying too much attention to the polls now, though. Because so far, the Bloomberg thing is entirely based on the polls when there are other candidates who have demonstrated actual support.

kaleigh: But it’s not as if Sanders’s success hasn’t been covered. Certainly there’s room to talk about more than just the front-runners?

There’s also the fact that the vast majority of Democrats have not yet voted. There’s still a race here.

natesilver: I mean, in some narrow but valid sense, Buttigieg is the front-runner (he has the most pledged delegates) and yet, he isn’t getting a ton of coverage.

sarahf: Kaleigh makes a good point, though. Sanders’s successes have been covered. What’s difficult, though, is they haven’t been portrayed as decisive victories. But I kind of get that. Sanders and Buttigieg both “won” Iowa — we’ll see if the recanvassing efforts change that. And he didn’t win the New Hampshire primary by that large of a margin (1.3 points).

So there’s this other narrative emerging around the field being divided and no one candidate having a firm grasp on things — our own forecast puts Sanders’s chances of winning a majority of pledged delegates at roughly the same odds as no one winning a majority — so maybe this is the year every political journalist’s dream comes true … a cOnteSTEd convention … uh, the troll cap is too much work.

nrakich: Sarah, I think some Sanders skepticism is warranted. He has done well in the first two contests but hasn’t dominated, and as you point out, Sarah, our model doesn’t think he has a mortal lock on the nomination.

On the other hand, I think the tone of the coverage of Sanders’s win (covered as if it were a loss) and Klobuchar’s third-place finish (covered as if it were a win) was topsy-turvy.

sarahf: That’s fair, but Klobuchar did manage to double her support in New Hampshire, going from about 10 percent in our polling average to winning 20 percent of the vote. That’s pretty impressive.

natesilver: With Klobuchar, I have mixed feelings. On the one hand, I’m just not sure that a fifth-place finish followed by a third-place finish should get you all that much attention. On the other hand, she fits the traditional credentials of a party nominee (not too old or too young, not “too” far to the left or too centrist, experienced) more so than most of the remaining candidates do. And people seem more inclined to chase shiny objects.

sarahf: But to step back for a moment, the New Hampshire debate was one of the more consequential debates of the cycle, yeah?

Probably means Nevada will be a nothingburger, but I am intrigued to see what happens there as Nevada is so weird to poll.

ameliatd: One big question for me is how many Nevadans will actually tune into the debate, too. In general, they tend to be less politically engaged than New Hampshire or Iowa voters. So that could dampen the impact.

natesilver: I guess I think that might make the debate more impactful, in some ways? If people are less tuned in, they may not be as far along in their decision-making process, which could make the debate more likely to sway their opinion.

ameliatd: It’s also worth noting that thousands of Nevadans will already have “caucused” by the time the debate starts. Early voting started on Saturday and ended on Tuesday.

kaleigh: More than 26,000 Nevadans voted in the first two days alone.

nrakich: I do think the debate will have more of an impact nationally than it will in Nevada, to Amelia’s points. Think about how the New Hampshire debate turned into a discussion of South Carolina issues!

And Bloomberg isn’t contesting Nevada, so obviously his debate performance will only affect his numbers in other states.

sarahf: So how confident are we about the situation in Nevada? Our Nevada forecast gives Sanders about a 7 in 10 chance of winning there. Biden is the second most likely winner with a 1 in 7 chance, but Warren is close on Biden’s coattails. Buttigieg and Klobuchar aren’t too far off either.

nrakich: Personally, I’m not confident. The Nevada polls are all over the place.

sarahf: Could a strong second-place finish by someone in Nevada overshadow a Sanders win? Similar to what we saw in Iowa and New Hampshire?

nrakich: Yes, I think if someone surprising finishes second (Warren? Steyer?), it will be New Hampshire all over again, where that person gets more favorable coverage than the outright winner (assuming it’s Sanders).

natesilver: I mean … it’s another state where media expectations (BERNIE CERTAIN TO WIN) seem a little out of line with the reality (probably Bernie, but high uncertainty). If I were a Sanders voter, I’d be annoyed at how Sanders always seems to be the victim of the expectations game.

ameliatd: We also haven’t talked about the fact that this is the first state with a significant population of voters of color. So it’s the first real chance to see if candidates like Buttigieg and Klobuchar can do well among Latino/black/Asian voters — if they do, that would obviously be a big deal.

sarahf: That’s right. And at this point, the crosstabs suggest that only Sanders and Biden have a lead there, right?

ameliatd: Well, like Nathaniel said, the polls are kind of all over the place — but yes, among Latinos at least, Sanders and Biden tend to do best.

natesilver: Keep in mind that the Latino population is pretty young, and that Sanders obviously does well with young voters.

nrakich: Yeah, I wonder if Buttigieg will bust out some Spanish during the debate. He recently released a Spanish-language TV ad that he himself narrated.

kaleigh: He’s been running a fair amount of Spanish-language Facebook ads, too.

nrakich: That said, when Beto O’Rourke, Cory Booker and Julián Castro spoke Spanish in the first debate, some people saw it as a stunt. A YouGov poll in June found that 37 percent of Hispanic Americans found it respectful when a presidential candidate spoke Spanish in a debate, and 27 percent thought it was pandering. White Americans (who as of 2016 were still a majority of Nevada Democratic caucusgoers) thought it was pandering by a nearly two-to-one ratio. And Equis Labs, a polling firm that specializes in polling Hispanic Americans, told me that only 29 percent of Hispanic registered Democrats in Nevada say Spanish is their preferred language.

ameliatd: I know we’ve heard quite a bit about health care in these debates, but I bet it’ll come up again tonight, since Sanders is being attacked by the state’s biggest labor union over Medicare for All — and other candidates, like Klobuchar and Steyer, have been jumping on that bandwagon recently.

sarahf: OK, let’s talk candidate strategy for a moment. Bloomberg is a bit of a curve ball.

He isn’t contesting Nevada, so his strategy is to … stop a debate surge from happening and somehow make a plea for voters to consider him, not in South Carolina (which votes next), but hold out for Super Tuesday instead?

But what does this mean for the other moderate candidates, especially Biden? Biden at this point still leads Klobuchar and Buttigieg in national polls — does he need to nip Bloomberg’s momentum in the bud?

And then what does this mean for Sanders? Does he just hope that no one attacks him directly and let the moderates duke it out?

I guess what I’m really asking is … is Biden toast?

Or does this debate have the biggest stakes for him?

natesilver: Why would Biden be toast? He’s tied with Bloomberg in national polls. And he has an opportunity to get a boost with a win in South Carolina or, less likely, Nevada.

If he loses in South Carolina, he might be toast.

sarahf: What if he finishes in fourth or fifth in Nevada, though?

natesilver: Meh, who cares? South Carolina is coming in a week.

Biden’s media narrative is awful as can be now and it probably doesn’t get any worse if he finishes fourth or fifth in Nevada.

nrakich: It might be good for Biden that Steyer didn’t make today’s debate? Not that Steyer has turned in super compelling debate performances, but Steyer might be Biden’s most direct competition in South Carolina.

sarahf: There has to be some consolidation around a moderate alternative to Sanders, right? Buttigieg, Klobuchar, Bloomberg and Biden can’t all stay in and actually mount a credible campaign against Sanders, can they?

nrakich: They can if they all have visions of emerging as the nominee after a contested convention!

natesilver: Or candidates might think “Sanders v. Bloomberg could go very nuclear, so I need to stick around as the least radioactive option.”

That seems … quite plausible? We probably have to assume that Bloomberg will drop a lot of negative ads on Sanders at some point?

nrakich: He should probably do so sooner rather than later. There are lots of delegates up for grabs on Super Tuesday, and Sanders is currently riding high.

ameliatd: Biden has to be hoping that Bloomberg takes a beating in the debate, though, right?

natesilver: Sure, I think that’s right, Amelia.

But Biden also doesn’t want one of Buttigieg or Klobuchar to surge.

kaleigh: Sarah, if we’re assuming Sanders lands the role of the progressive candidate, does that mean you think Warren is DOA?

sarahf: That’s an interesting question, Kaleigh. She’s currently in third in our polling average in the state.

sarahf: And the labor union there didn’t criticize her health care plan as directly as it did Sanders’s.

nrakich: I think Warren needs to show a pulse in Nevada. She’s already basically conceded South Carolina, canceling a bunch of her TV ad reservations there.

sarahf: So I think there’s still room for a Warren comeback maybe? She definitely was pitching that after her disappointing finish in New Hampshire, but as Amelia mentioned earlier, at this point only Sanders and Biden have demonstrated that they can build more diverse bases.

ameliatd: Warren’s argument has basically been that she’s going to make a comeback on Super Tuesday. But if she has another disappointing finish in Nevada, that could definitely slow her down even further.

natesilver: I dunno. Warren is not THAT far behind since nobody is THAT far ahead. Obviously a win or a strong second-place finish in Nevada could reverse the narrative about her, though.

kaleigh: So who has the most to gain (or most to lose) in tonight’s debate? Biden? Warren?

natesilver: The debate is about Bloomberg, like it or not. It just is. The media is fucking obsessed with Bloomberg. And it’s his first debate. He’s 90 percent likely to be the headline, positive or negative.

sarahf: Yeah, he’s likely to be this chat’s headline.

natesilver: wE aRe PaRt Of ThE PrOBLeM.

nrakich: I mean, I think that is somewhat justified for this debate specifically.

We’ve heard Sanders, Warren, Biden, etc., say the same thing a zillion times. We have no idea how Bloomberg will hold up under pressure. So he is the one we will likely learn the most about tonight.

kaleigh: But Bloomberg kind of has nothing to lose at this point. He’s skipping Nevada, and negative or positive, the focus on him only further legitimizes him as a candidate.

sarahf: I actually think he has a lot to lose.

nrakich: Oh, he definitely has a lot to lose. He’s been pumping his message out to people totally unanswered thanks to his millions of dollars in TV spending!

sarahf: Yeah, that’s what I was going to say. At this point, he’s largely gotten to control his brand.

nrakich: Until this week’s bad headlines, people haven’t heard a bad word about him.

And a big known unknown for Bloomberg is how good of a debater he is. His team is already lowering expectations.

ameliatd: Yeah, I agree with Nathaniel. Whatever you think of the fact that Bloomberg hasn’t appeared in a debate so far, this is his introduction to a debate audience — and maybe more importantly, his rivals’ first chance to attack him in a debate setting. Which is crazy, since we’ve been covering these things for EIGHT MONTHS.

natesilver: I think he has a lot to lose but also expectations (there’s that term again!) seem to be fairly low, i.e., the media assumes he’ll be a mediocre debater.

nrakich: I think there’s room for him to be a decent debater but also for this debate to represent the first mass airing of anti-Bloomberg grievances to the American public.

Like, even if Bloomberg has answers for the criticisms levied against him, it’s the first time many Americans will hear those criticisms.

natesilver: Bloomberg is the one candidate that sort of unites all the others against him. He’s trying to elbow out the other candidates in the moderate lane. And he obviously has beef with Sanders, and the race could easily come down to those two.

kaleigh: That’s true. I just wonder if a debate-long attack from, say, Sanders will make it seem as if Bloomberg is the de facto moderate candidate.

ameliatd: That’s an interesting point, Kaleigh — maybe Biden does run the risk of seeming even weaker if the debate is largely between Bloomberg and Sanders.

natesilver: Also, Bloomberg has not been a longstanding and loyal member of the Democratic Party. He isn’t owed any particular favors or deference. So I’d expect a higher aggression level than we’ve seen in past debates.

nrakich: Oh, I disagree there, Nate.

He has been arguably Democrats’ most important donor in the last few election cycles.

He helped many members of Congress get elected, for instance.

I would argue that it could actually be tricky for someone like Klobuchar or Biden, who are establishment-aligned and came up through the big-donor system, to go after him directly.

natesilver: OK then they deserve to lose, to be honest.

nrakich: I mean, sure, maybe.

natesilver: They should also be going after Sanders directly.

nrakich: But I think only Sanders and Warren are capable of really taking the gloves off.

All the other candidates probably are hoping Bloomberg runs super PAC ads on their behalf in the general.

kaleigh:

sarahf: Meh, Klobuchar and Buttigieg have both proven they’re adept at landing attacks on their opponents/each other.

natesilver: All of the the candidates except Sanders aren’t very likely to be the nominee right now so they should probably worry about that first.

nrakich: I mean, I agree.

But that doesn’t mean they won’t worry about the other thing.

sarahf: OK, to wrap … The Nevada debate. Bloomberg’s first appearance. There seems to be some consensus that this debate will be about Bloomberg, whether he has a good night or bad night. Final thoughts, particularly about the stakes?

kaleigh: I think the stakes are highest for Biden right now, and to a certain extent Warren. Bloomberg’s presence is going to shake things up one way or another, though you’ve all convinced me there’s a chance it could be to his own detriment.

nrakich: This is a lame answer, but I think the stakes are very high for everyone tonight except Sanders.

He’s the only one who can really afford a “bad” debate — and he’s such a consistent debater that even his bad debates are still OK.

ameliatd: I’m also curious to see how Bloomberg handles the pressure of being on a debate stage, and how effectively the other candidates are able to attack him. This is their first chance to really land punches on him — better make it count!

natesilver: This is a lame answer, but I think the stakes are very high for everyone tonight including Sanders.

nrakich: That is an even lamer answer than my lame answer!

I’ll allow it.

natesilver: The line separating “Sanders as clear front-runner with huge momentum!” and “Sanders underperforming in his strongest states” is QUITE thin.

In New Hampshire, it was about 3,800 votes thin.

#IFTTT #Politics – FiveThirtyEight #politics #538 #A FiveThirtyEight Chat

1 note · View note