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#and im kinda in a bad place bc parents and pain and just a lot
the-s1lly-corner · 5 months
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Platonic tadc cast with a child reader Who is like :
"hey, wanna see me do a cartwheel :D"
Basically very spontaneous and chaotic in the adventures lol
Ty!! (and remember to drink water) ;3
TADC cast x chaotic!kid!reader ! (Platonic)
Guys I'm literally so tired I just got done baking a ton of stuff, like I'm talking 12ish hours of non stop cooking and baking I'm going insane im trying so hard not to fall asleep rn because I kinda. Feel bad for not really answering requests today
Anywahs
Hope you enjoy anon!
Written on mobile
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CAINE:
Well well how the turn tables (writing caines portion last for once)
Very similar to kinger and ragatha in that he supports everything you do; in fact he encourages your behavior as long as no one is getting hurt. Very loudly (and sometimes obnoxiously) cheers for you
While kinger can only cheer and clap, I think Caine sets off sparkles and fireworks... probably has a whole group of bubbles cheering you on too , assuming there can be multiple bubbles at any given time (I personally think there can be, and they all share a hivemind of sorts)
So what was the occasion that prompted that?
A wonky cartwheel, of which you excited called "a sideways front flip"
(Fun fact from the admin, I called my first cartwheel that bc I didnt know it was called a cartwheel yet)
POMNI:
Anxious parental figure and hyper child, a dynamic that's hit or miss at least for me. Really it depends on how its executed
That said I think she struggles to keep up with you
Constantly scrambling around you make sure you dont fall into any danger. Literally and figuratively...
Her attempts to get you to sit down for more than five minutes fail
Your ass is failing the marshmallow test/j
RAGATHA:
No thoughts only that one clip from adventure time where BMO pretends to be a wheathervane before trying to nose dive off the roof, all while calling for finns attention. Thats you and ragatha, basically (in essence, not exact scenario though)... maybe zooble too, but we'll get there when we get there (I am currently having a brain blast)
Says things like "what am I gonna do with you" everyday, always lightheartedly of course and usually accompanied by a tired chuckle
Generally very supportive of you though, just so long as you're not hurting yourself! Sure, this is the digital world and injuries dont really stick, but still! The pain is still there
JAX:
I mentioned the marshmallow test in pomnis part and I feel like jax would do something similar with you. Except the test is rigged and the candy (which he uses in place of the marshmallow( is actually for him and not for you. So if you actually earn the extra candy you dont even get it
That said I do think jax would feel bad when you get upset about the joke
Anyways
I think he finds it funny, as long as you're not tugging on his overalls and screaming at him for something, or interfering with his plans
Hes not a neglectful rolemodel/familial figure, he just has a short fuse with the above I think, regardless of who it is, kid or not
That said he fully embraces your spontaneous nature
KINGER:
Peepaw and his grandchild, that's it that's literally the dynamic
"Kinger is only 48-"
Hush♡
"Oh that's so lovely, (reader)" when you run up to him with your hands full of god knows what
Eagerly claps and cheers when you show him a new trick you learned
Bonus if you try to recreate or one up his embellished stories in order to make him proud of you (hes always proud of you)
ZOOBLE:
As mentioned in ragathas part, the wheathervane BMO thing is basically in essence you guys' dynamic. Except where I think ragatha would be quicker to pay attention to you, zooble may be a little slower. Not because they dont care about whatever you're trying to display to them, but because I think a lot of the times they kind of mentally check out (me too honestly)
Tries to scold you if you do something too dangerous or out of line, may come across as way angrier or upset than they actually are though thanks to their voice being kinda
You know
Zooble gives off "cool older sibling who doesnt care about nothing" energy
GANGLE:
Meekly tries to get you to calm down for a few minutes, especially if theres an IHA going on because she doesnt want you to run off and potentially get hurt. Tries to keep you occupied with arts and crafts. Watches in horror as you impulsively eat the glue
Tends to wrap one of her ribbon hands around yours so she knows you're not running off.. this is more so when theres an IHA going on
As per usual not many ideas for gangle <\3
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transmasc-wizard · 1 year
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Would you like to talk about mack?? :D
i WOULD
unfortunately, this will not be :D . this will be D:
tw : familial abandonment, drug use & dealing (doesnt go into huge detail but its mentioned), manipulation/shitty friends, depression, self-worth issues, self-destructive behaviour
so mack (it/any btw) is a character who is very convinced he has already gone through his Character Arc(TM) and doesn't need any more help with his issues. and like, he absolutely got over a lot of issues he used to have, but a lot of other ones were just... pushed down to a place where it can pretend those problems don't exist anymore.
mack was shunned by its whole family when they were turned into a vampire at 15 by their manipulative and shitty vampire "friends", and ran away shortly after. they almost immediately fell into a group of shady people, since that was what it was used to. mostly, these people broke a lot of laws to have a lot of quite-dangerous-in-retrospect parties. illegal fireworks, irresponsible drug use, dares like "play chicken but with cars instead of swings", that sorta thing. mack knew at least 2 people who died at these things and it was not uncommon for them to wake up six blocks away with a memory gap of several hours
this went on for 2-3 years, im not quite sure, until one day mack watched One More person die at a party and was like . hey . maybe this isn't a good use of my life. and he just... ran away again? not in the same way, but he just ghosted everyone she knew and had to start over. it had a lot of shady/sneaky skills from times it used to help w drug dealing, so it put those skills into working on not-super-legal issues but in a significantly safer context (essentially scamming billionaires).
at this time, around age 18 or so, Mack was also loitering a lot at a cafe frequented by university students. at this spot was where Mack met the then-20 and extremely optimistic (lmao) James, a first-year theoretical physics major. when James (Sufferinf w/ rent) realized mack was homeless, he offered to let it stay with him, and mack then officially had a living space ! hurrah. this was the point where mack went "okay so clearly i am now okay. i have a house, food, a less-illegal-than-before job, and am not actively and dangerously using drugs or doing horrifically reckless things. im normal!" and shoved all their issues under the rug
those issues included the fact that by this point mack was just. incapable of showing negative emotions, bc they thought no one would love them if they did bc they'd be too much of a burden. (this is heightened by the fact their chronic pain started at 17.) then there's also the insistence that their constant exhaustion, apathetic feelings, and deep fear of getting close to people is Normal And Fine, their fear of any person who presents themself as a parental or otherwise familial figure, their feelings that it's not worth anything if it can't make others constantly happy, and her inability to cope with anything that she doesn't know how to bullshit through.
by the time the story starts, Mack and James have collected 2 more roommates (Leah and Spacey) (and they will get Val next ofc). James is... significantly more tired and significantly less optimistic, which also makes Mack feel more like she's in control (like, see, even JAMES is doing bad! so surely it's just the average stress of life. i'm ok. never once does he consider James is just also crumbling till like halfway through the book, and that is actually a tense side of their friendship). mack is very very convinced that since it's not actively putting itself in danger twice a week, it's FINE, and no one has to WORRY, and--
then val comes along and kinda. forcibly makes him realize he is not ok. and funky story things ensue :3
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perenlop · 1 year
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hello! same anon that was asking moonscape about pmmm stuff. i've been looking through your pmmm-related posts a bit after i saw your reply and i love the way you talk about the characters and really seem to understand them! do you maybe have some more headcanons or general thoughts you'd want to share? i can never get enough of hearing fan's cool thoughts about the show
AHHH thank you!! im really flattered omg i'll put some general thoughts and rambles under the cut so my mutual who hasnt seen it yet wont see
-i know you said you saw my reply already but just gonna repeat it so its on my blog: homura was a foster child who lost her parents when she was young, and because of her heart condition she was passed around to several different (usually christian) families that usually didn't care much for her, only about the check. this led to her initial meek and self deprecating personality. the reason she latched onto madoka is because she's the first person to ever show her true kindness. when she changes her hair style, she cuts off from her current foster family entirely and lives on her own (and may have stolen the foster checks and other cash to do so)
-on top of that she struggles with her feelings with madoka and feeling like she's cruel and selfish for loving her because of her christian upbringing and going to catholic school. families likely didn't take well to her being gay
-hitomi is a closeted lesbian
-kyosuke gives me egg vibes so.
-im basic i like madohomu best but like polyam holy quintet is so real also
-people who say madohomu is one sided are so wrong. how do u explain any of madoka's actions towards homura when walpurgisnacht happens
-some of my favorite moments in the show relate to homura stuff bc GOD all of her scenes are just. enhanced by the plot twist
-wait ive mentioned this but people who think homura doesn't care about the other girls are so??? literally yes she does care about them, she loves madoka the most of course but she cares about sayaka's life when she goes to retrieve her soul gem and her telling sayaka she'll kill her to spare madoka the pain is clearly just her doing the worst thing she can to force sayaka to act. she's kinda distant from everything she's done at this point and is willing to act cruel to get what she wants.
-i kinda love that canonically mami is the strongest magical girl. mami is underrated tbh, i know she's a main character but her spinoff manga was SO good and she's such a tragic character in her own right. she's a deeply lonely person and even if i didn't care for magia record season 1, i really like the approach they went with her character there, where in this universe she's the one who convinced madoka and sayaka to contract, and when she learns the truth, she becomes ridden with guilt and joins the magias to save them because she feels responsible for their fates now. it's such a good place to take her character (and im kinda sad they eventually go "oh no it was brainwashing nvm")
-i absolutely adore this show's brand of horror. the entire thing is just Off in a lot of ways but it's in ways you struggle to place, and the whole thing is thanks to shaft's editing. there's a youtube vid i watched where like the tilting shots up to where the girls look down on the "camera" or random close ups on objects with quiet sounds adds to the feeling that something is wrong even when the show hasn't taken it's dark turn yet. i think focusing a lot of the actual horror elements on the terror of everyone's situation and gradually revealing how much worse everything is is so perfect, it's all paced perfectly to be as hard hitting as possible. and the actual violent moments are done well, none of them are really THAT bad but they're blunt and shocking enough to hit where it hurts. idk if im describing it right but augh its so good
-on that topic the theory that pmmm is framed as a stage show is also so good. i gotta find the post i reblogged about that bc man it adds to the show
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flockofdoves · 2 years
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wahhhhh last day of camp counselor job which was also last day of my lease and also my gfs birthday
things are so insane i really just need to sleep for a whole day but im just feeling really emotional. i really love these kids and appreciate my coworkers and its so weird thinking about how theres no realistic or desirable wag to see myself doing this again and seeing these kids again. i really wish id somehow at least found my way into babysitting some of them like some of my coworkers did by talking to parents at pickup but i just didnt have that confidence so its just wild. im just like so familiar with the kids whove been here for most of the weeks and now ill probably never see them again :(
and god. theres just so many memories in my old apartment this was a really significant year. even if the rental company sucked im so emotional about leaving in such a rush
i was really glad i had 2 weeks of overlap to move in to my new place but im bad at time management and was so so busy and didnt realize at first rhe lease ended at 10am today, not midnight, so me and my gf were packing and moving til fucking 5am today and my last moments there i was trying not to have an anxiety attack crying and dead tired and in pain for hours
while im not always neat, i took a lot of pride in trying to take care of my place and make it look good, so its sad to me how dirty it looked on moving out bc i just didnt have the time
its sad to me i had to come into work late on my last day because of last minute moving stuff and its sad to me i had to spend the day while trying to relish it and be the best counselor i can be for kids while running on not even 2 hours of sleep
i wish i couldve had a proper not rushed or half-assed goodbye to all these things and its insane its all happening at once and at a point in time where i want to have the time to properly celebrate for my girlfriend (and my grandpa whos 80th was yesterday) and see my family 2.5 hours away before they go way farther away again.
its kinda scary to me that i didnt have a bit of time to test out how this new place is with the familiarity and resources of my old apartment still there to fall back on
im not sad though entirely dont get me wrong, even if i wish i did it better im so so relieved that i tangibly know now i have a place to live for this next year, and im glad to have a bit more time to do things i need and want to do for the next few weeks after work was taking away all my time and energy
but just. wow! feeling a lot of things at once and its all so sudden and fatigue is probably not helping
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heyitsyn · 3 years
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RANDOM SEIJOH HCs ACCORDING TO GIGI
a/n: this is a thing i cooked up between doing trig exam and ap gov review akdsjfldskfj
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IM PRETTY SURE I ALREADY USED THIS GIF BUT IM WANTING TO RE-DO MY ENTIRE PAGE AND MAKING BANNERS SO THIS IS A TEMPORARY THING AJDJDJJD ALSO I DONT KNOW HOW TO DO THE KEEP READING THING ON THE APP BYE
oikawa def listens to indie music just bc he wants to feel unique and the 'iM diFfErENt fRoM oTHeR gUrLs' vibes
i FIRMLY BELIEVE IWAIZUMI HAJIME IS ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO CHOMPS ON HIS ICE CREAM BC HE LIKES TO FEEL THE COLD ON HIS TEETH AKSJSKSKSK
meanwhile kunimi eats a kitkat like its pizza just CHOMP
makki caNNOT sleep without a pillow between his thighs LIKE LISTEN he has 2 sisters and they all told him its so comfortable and at first he was like,, ??,, then he tried and now cant sleep without it
bUT MATTSUN LIKES TO SLEEP WITH PILLOWS SURROUNDING HIM bc it makes him feel safe and like there are two body pillows on either side of him and hes kinda trapped in the middle aksjskdk
when kyo was younger, he was really short and although he had other pants, he loved this one pair but they were really long on him and he wore it all the time and the part of the pants that touched the ground is torn in shreds
kindaichi steps on the sofa before sitting LIKE puts one foot on the cushion then the other until hes literally standing on the couch before folding to sit with his knees up to his chest (i do this)
watari sniffs his food before eating it no matter if its something he eats all the time or something new, he still sniffs it either way
yahaba is really particular with his feet and he likes to get a really big tupperware (duh one only meant for his feet) and fill it up with warm almost boiling water and he just soaks them
oikawa has sleep paralysis and he oftens hallucinates about aliens in the corner of his room
kunimi does this thing where he makes weird noises with his mouth like sounds of his mouth opening LIKE when youre tastinf something new and you do that sound with your tongue (I DUNNO HOW TO DESCRIBE IT AJDKSKKD)
makki bends his knees just to crack his ankles
iwa sneezes a ton but he has those sneezes where theyre quiet that you dont even notice or really loudly that it just echoes throughout the gym
kyo sleeps with one sock on bc his feet gets cold easily but both socks make him feel really hot so only one sock is perfect
for a tall and hunk of a guy, mattsun is a very light walker like his footsteps are very light and if he wants to, it can be practically silent
watari actually hates vegetables ajssksksk he particularly hates zucchini, eggplants, any vegetables that are that shape
kindaichi likes to stick or lean against walls because to him, they feel cold and can decrease his body heat
oikawa stands and places his feet at V position like \/ instead of ll because his sister did ballet and he was taught that was the right way of standing and it was considered graceful
yahaba has a fear of cactuses
mattsun does so badly in the heat because his body temp runs so high and the hot surroundings make him feel so uncomfortable and so he takes a lot of cold showers
iwa cannot swim like he freaks out immediately when his toetips can no longer feel the bottom and he panics with thoughts of drowning
watari has really small feet that he still buys big kids shoes to save money
kyotani considered playing baseball because he thought baseball bats were cool but he got angry and threw tantrum after missing his first pitch
iwa chomps on a whole raw chili while eating ramen akskksks
oikawa actually hates sweets bc when he was younger, he had cavities and iwa showed him a cartoon of cavities eating his teeth and will make him toothless
kindaichi really really likes hugs but hes too awkward to ask them even from his parents
yahaba chomps on mints so he goes through boxes of them in a week
i feel like theres a boy in the team who doesnt brush their teeth everyday and rubs a towel on their teeth to make it look clean and take mints to hide their bad breath
iwaizumi is actually iron deficient so he bruises super super fast and he even developed iron defiency anemia when he was younger bc his parents didnt catch on which caused him to be put on strong medication for months and still takes it now
WAIT,, OIKAWA IS LACTOSE INTOLERANT BUT HE LIKES MILK SO HE EATS MILK BREAD TO MAKE HIM FEEL NOT SO BAD OR GUILTY OF CONSUMING STRAIGHT DAIRY
seijoh four bonding time is watching gordom ramsey shows and yelling and screaming 'YEA! EXACTLY!' as if theyre also cooking genuises
watari used to eat grapes all the time until his mom got worried and told him if he doesnt stop, he will eventually turn into one. he only eats it every few weeks
when he was younger, kunimi cried because he had befriended a chicken on a trip to a farm and his mom took him to eat fried chicken after and he thought it was Chicky (his chicken friend :"))
kyotani used to stick out his tongue when it was raining so he could taste the raindrops. they taste better than bottled water
one time, during a seijoh sleepover, they dared oikawa to wear his sisters old uniform, skirt and all, and it backfired so everyone turned red and couldnt look at him in the face
their pregame ritual is touching each other's shoe tips
they tried doing yoga at yahaba's house before by watching yoga youtube videos but everyone ended up having to go to the chiropractor after (how did makki even turn into the human pretzel?)
the local gym gets so scared when they see the team coming through the doors bc these men are so LOUD like they HYPE EACH OTHER UP SO MUCH THEYRE SO ANNOYING AKSKSKDK
also never take them to an all you can eat sushi place. if you do, bring them earlier of the day like 30 mins after opening time so the cooks can cook enough for them without running out of ingredients (even then sometimes they still run out)
oikawa used to eat his mom's roses from her garden because he thought it would make his farts smell good like roses
takahiro is a surprisingly good artist like he draws really cool action fighting scenes in the corner of his papers and stuff
in my work: it's canon that iwa is half filo and his nanay used to dress him up in a barong all the time during halloween bc she wanted him to showcase his heritage
yahaba drinks a lot of milk because he hopes to one day grow strong and bulky like the 3rd years instead of being seen as a pretty boy
kindaichi's mom is a hairstylist and she always scolds him for using a lot of gel bc she's always the one who washes his hair
makki never learned how to do taxes and hes had the government knocking on his door a handful of times (BOKUTO AKKDJSKKS)
kyo has a dog: a chiweenie
there's someone on the team who wears those socks with individual pockets for toes
their pinterest is so different from what they look like for example, mattsun has a board of different flower decorations and arrangements
kunimi throws up during intense horror movies
watari's celeb crush is emma watson
the team alternates from different music genres like from ateez and bts to mxmtoon and beach bunny
they still dont know how to pronounce camila cabello's name
theyre all active in social media but only oikawa is on it 24/7 and in all platforms while the others have insta and snap
mattsun has twins as little siblings and he used to get them mixed up all the time that he used to draw a sharpie dot on the girl's forehead to determine she was his sister
watari hates sitting on the floor bc his butt bone hurts really easily so he can only sit on cushions for long periods of time
the team was supposed to have a party but everyone didnt know what to bring so they proved they shared the same braincell by bringing the same thing: a box of pizza
makki's an old soul and prefers to play records on a record player or watch old movies
kyo is surprisingly good at giving massages because he really pushed hard on those tense muscles
kindaichi knows how to crack necks so everyone goes to him a lot to do it (a friend of mine does this and can i say its terrifying yet so good?)
the only one who has a license is matsukawa and thats because granny needs to go to the doctor a lot and he hates her walking by herself and cabs are expensive
kyotani and yahaba are actually,,, lowkey close,,, not like best friends but theyre nice to each other and they got a stick and poke together (yahaba's was: :) while kyo's was: >:))
watari has a collection of mangas (some bl maybe 👀)
WARNING SAD: mattsun’s future job is a funeral person right? he ends up taking care of granny’s funeral free of charge and he had to take a week off because it was really painful for him
oikawa learned spanish SUPER fast to the point he forgets japanese sometimes but there are moments where he forgets both languages and hes just,,,, ???
makki’s unemployed yea but he rooms with mattsun in exchange of cooking because makki’s surprisingly good at cooking
iwa is practically the nutritionist of the team because he knows everything about proteins, carbs, iron, and needed vitamins so they all go to him to know what to eat and what they need
kunimi has lots and lots of shoes but usually only wears 2
kindaichi has a habit of pretending hes chewing gum even though he doesnt have gum, his mouth just chomps and moves with air akasldfjkf
there was a clown phenomenon in america but in their city, they had a mascots and seijoh 4 went around scaring kids :”(
oikawa never manspreads he gets too insecure to spread out like that akdjfkd
kyotani can easily sleep anywhere like he would be standing and just fall asleep or he sleeps with his eyes open
yahaba’s parents own a restaurant somewhere in the city and he works there sometimes
IM REALLY GOING TOO MUCH ABOUT THIS YALL AKSDJFKL
SORRY IM WRITING TOO MUCH I FEEL BAD THAT I HAVENT UPDATED BUT IM IN A CAR RIDE RN AND I WAS ABLE TO WRITE AGAIN AND MY EXAMS HAVE FINISHED THIS WEEK IMMA CRY
PLEASE, FEEL FREE TO REPLY WITH ANY OTHER HCS YOU GUYS KNOW OF SO I CAN PUT IT IN HERE AND CREDIT YOU WITH IT SO WE CAN HAVE LIKE A HCS BOOK FROM EVERYONE BUT THIS IS WHAT I STARTED WITH
oikawa screams a lot according to gigi but he’s actually a really quiet guy and not easy to scare
OKAY YOU GUYS DONT KILL ME I SWEAR IVE BEEN SO TERRIBLE AT WRITING BUT YOU KNOW WHO TURNED ONE TODAY? THIS PAGE!!! MY BABY IS ONE ALREADY 😭😭😭 ANYWAYS, HOPE THIS CAN MAKE YOU GUYS SMILE TODAY AND SCHOOL ENDS NEXT WEEK AND IM ALREADY AT 132 DRAFTS AMSJKSDKSK SO OH MY GOD THERES GOING TO BE SO MUCH COMING AND IM SO EXCITED TO GET THEM OUT 😩😩
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sevenmikento · 3 years
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Hello! May i please request a jjk hc or imagine where the mc is yuujis childhood friend that can see curses and has a powerful curse technique?? Yuuji knew since they were kids but kinda forgot about it cuz he didn’t really understood and mc never tried to bring it up again to keep him safe. And after coming to tokyo when the sukuna thing happened- yuuji recommended his bestfriend to gojo so they could study together. Thank you so much!! 💕💕
A/N: omg okay so i distinctly remember receiving this request while i was in bed reading angsty haikyuu fics and then i was hit with such a big brain idea for this that i made a draft of it bc i knew i would forget otherwise. also omg im so sorry but i made this a lot angstier than expected but it has a happy ending!! ;––;
genres: angsty with a fluffy ending, hurt/comfort; 1.5k words
come with me [Itadori Yuuji X Reader]
“You’re moving?” you repeat the words just spoken to you, unafraid to let the disappointment in your voice show as you feel your bottom lip begin to quiver and the back of your eyes burn up in tears. “To Tokyo? So suddenly?”
As if the news couldn’t get worse: first you learn that Grandpa Itadori passed away and now your only friend is leaving. Not to mention the fact that in between all of this, your high school got wrecked in some kind of freak incident–though you know better… the school had always reeked of cursed energy. You’ve even had to deal with some cursed spirits on your own volition before morning practices just because you could never stand them staring at you from the corner of the volleyball court.
“Wow, is it just me or did it get a lot less stuffy in here?” you overheard your senior saying once. You wish you could brag about it, about your heritage and your accomplishments as a Jujutsu Sorcerer but you can’t, not without putting yourself and the people–the person–you love in danger.
“You’re my only family left,” you can’t help but blurt out, hanging your head in shame. Ah, you think to yourself, this is bad, I’m starting to beg, aren’t I? This is dangerous territory. “I thought we promised… we…” You stop yourself from completing the sentence but you both know each other well to understand exactly what you’re referring to.
Your parents had always told you to keep your emotions in check, to ensure everything you feel is always under your control. Cry if you must, be angry if you cannot help it, but never allow your heart to rule your head.
At least that’s what they used to say a lot before they ended up cremated in urns too heavy for you to carry together at the same time. You were ten.
‘I’m the only (L/N) left,’ you thought to yourself, unaware you’d spoken out loud. You were also not aware of the boy who’d just entered the room, dressed in a black shirt a bit too big for him, his cheeks covered in dried tears.
“No,” he huffed, sitting down beside you. “I won’t let you be alone. You aren’t the last (L/N).” He said, completely misunderstanding what you’d meant. He wasn’t wrong but ultimately, you were more worried about your Jujutsu heritage linked to the name rather than the name itself. “When we get married, I’ll take your surname.”
You said ‘okay’, too young to understand the significance of marriage. All you cared about was that he was there and you weren’t alone.
Yuuji remains silent, an immense wave of guilt washing over his body, leaving behind a sensation that is both hot and cold at the same time. Although you continue to cry silently, your arms still move, helping him fold his clothes and place them neatly in his luggage. Your hands tremble in a way he hadn’t seen ever since that fateful day so many years ago–the day of the promise… The one he will have to break.
He wishes with all his heart that he can tell you about the events that have occurred over the past two days. He wants nothing more than to just hug you to his chest and spill all the secrets he’s been burdened to keep: the existence of cursed spirits, the attack on the school… his transformation into the vessel of Sukuna. The execution. The compromise Gojou sensei made for him. The hell he’s chosen for himself.
When the white-haired Sorcerer offered the two choices to him and asked Yuuji to choose his hell, he very ignorantly assumed that hell was knowing when he was going to die. But now, as he watches you bid him a tearful farewell while you wear the sweater he left behind for you–knowing that, even though he promised to visit, he probably will not have the chance to–Yuuji realises this is the real hell.
“Yuu-cchi, there’s a monster!” you cried, hiding behind the boy who was merely a few months older than you, your small hands clenching tightly onto the sleeves of his shirt. He gazes around and sees nothing.
“Where?” he asks, his own arms held out in a defensive stance, ready to take any hit from any monster coming to hurt you.
“There! There!” you continued to sob in such genuine fear that even though Yuuji himself couldn’t see the monsters, a part of him knew you weren’t lying. Though, to be frank, even if you weren’t scared, he would’ve believed you anyway.
“Don’t be afraid, (Y/N)! I will keep you safe!” he declared, waving his fists around madly. “Where is he! I’ll beat him up!”
Huh.
“What’re you so deep in thought about?” Fushiguro Megumi’s voice snaps him out of his reverie, the defeated cursed spirit’s corpse dissolving into ash right before their eyes.
“Yeah, what are you thinking of?” Gojou butts in, wrapping an arm around Yuuji’s shoulders. “You looked all happy and dopey for a second then became all sad and depressed the next. Friendship problems? Or–OH! Relationship troubles?”
“No, it’s just…” Yuuji mumbles.
“I can’t sleepover this weekend.”
“Huh? Why not?”
“My parents want me to train.”
“Train?”
“Yeah, they’re teaching me Juju—Judo.”
“Eh? That’s too bad.”
“Just?” Gojou pushes, realising he’s very likely on the cusp of discovering his new student’s deep, dark secret. For a second, he thinks it’s to no avail but before he knows it, Yuuji’s grasping his arms and looking him dead in the eye (eye? blindfold?).
“I think there’s someone I need you to meet.”
“Oh?”
You curse under your breath as you hear footsteps echo from the floors beneath you. Right now? The stupid local delinquents want to explore this stupid building right as you’re on the edge of exorcising a stupidly strong cursed spirit? You can’t help but laugh humourlessly at your luck nowadays. It seems as though ever since Itadori Yuuji left your life, you’ve been doing nothing but exorcise spirits. Maybe you’re just bored and have nothing to do or maybe you’ve become a magnet for spirits with your increased levels of cursed energy.
“I’ll visit you when I have the time,” he said. But you knew he was lying. Just by looking at his dumb face you could tell he never intends on coming back.
A bitter taste crawls up the back of your throat and the cursed spirit cackles, elated by the frustration emitting off of you. You just know that if you could read its mind, it’ll be thinking of how powerful it could become by consuming you.
“Not a chance, you fuck!” you snap, feeling the familiar sensation of warmth crawl up your body as you harness all of your cursed energy to both your hands. Blue flames ignite from the centre of your palms, as you utilise your cursed technique: “Hinokagatsuchi!”
You charge towards the cursed spirit, ready to melt its skull into nothingness when a familiar voice calls out your name.
“(Y/N)!” Yuuji’s fist reaches the spirit before your technique can, the force of his punch so immense that it slams the corpse of your foe into a wall, forming a crater of shattered concrete.
“Hinokagatsuchi, huh?” A man with stunningly white hair walks into the room. “Haven’t heard that one in a while. “Are you from the (L/N) clan, by any chance?”
Before you can respond, a pair of warm hands clasp your face firmly but with a notable tenderness. The same hands that Itadori Yuuji used to kill a cursed spirit with a single punch now cradled your head, his thumbs carefully caressing your cheeks.
“Are you okay? Did you get hit? Are you injured anywhere?” he frets, his fingers combing through your hair before he pulls you close, hugging you to his firm chest.
From behind you, the white-haired man whispers: “actually I think your friend had it very much under control.” But he goes ignored.
“I’m sorry, I should’ve realised it sooner. I should have told you everything.” Yuuji presses his lips to the crown of your head. “I… I should have come clean and it would have spared us both the pain.” He laughs humourlessly. “I feel like a real dumbass, not realising what you’ve been hiding all these years even after I get dragged into the Jujustu world myself.”
Everything is happening so quickly, you find yourself rendered utterly speechless. Is he really here? Did he just kill a cursed spirit with a single blow? How did that man know about your family?
Your hands slowly creep up his back as you wrap you arms around him and close your eyes, relishing in the warmth of his body and the familiarity of his scent. He hasn’t even been gone for more than a week and yet you feel as though a lifetime of loneliness had been cured with just his return.
“I love you…” you can’t help but admit, though you have a feeling it wasn’t very much of a secret to begin with.
“I love you, too,” Yuuji replies, kissing you on head once more. “Come with me. Come with me to Tokyo, to the same Jujutsu school. Teach me everything you know and become stronger with me.”
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I LOVE LOVE LOVE YOUR BEAUTY AND THE BEAST IDEA. But may I also propose: Magnus cursed from a young age (probably bc of Asmodeus) that anyone who touches him is hurt by a blast of magic he can't control. (This may result in his mother's death). He locks himself away of his own will. Alec teaches then that it's fear that makes him lash out. Featuring: touch starved Magnus.
this idea is GENIUS actually and i love it. tbh me and my friend have a similar idea that we talk to each other about (lol) but it isn't a B&B thing, its more of an adventure AU. anyway, lets go!
so in this universe i guess magnus banished asmodeus like in the original sh verse but asmodeus cursed him with the "everyone you touch will be in indescribable pain" thing. maybe just as revenge, maybe to try and use it as bargaining chip because okay magnus, is it freedom that u want? u want to be able to have ur own friends and ur own life? fine. get me back, and ill leave u alone, and ull be free to have friends again. if not, ull be still isolated just like before. so is it gonna be win-win, or lose-lose?
but magnus doesn't budge because he knows that if he lets asmodeus free things will only get worse not only for him, but for the whole world. he is too dangerous to be out there. so, magnus resigns to his fate
and i guess in this version he wouldnt have a lot of close friends because he had been with asmodeus his whole life before he was cursed, so he was just. alone in his self-imposed isolation with no one to talk to. maybe he enchants the furniture so they gain sentience but they can't really feel pain, so at least he has someone to talk to. god im so fucking sad already
so is the furniture his friends in canon? im not entirely sure how i feel about that but also the idea of ragnor as that clock from the original movie is great. thats my most important thought on the subject ngl
btw its 4 degrees Celsius in here so im typing with gloves on so ull have to excuse my typos i am a mere brazilian and i want death
anyway okay so i guess his friends are like pieces of furniture that he spelled into sentience and they aren't his servants or anything cuz that's gross but they just like, hang out. wow im actually managing to type pretty well all things considered
so at least magnus has people to talk to but he's still touch starved because you know... a clock can't hug you and that'd just be weird. maybe them becoming sentient was an accident? lmao like magnus just wanted to automate some functions like having the clock talk to tell him the time or something and it turned out that they became sentient. possibly his magic is a little fucky because of the curse so that's why that happened? or maybe he just is way more powerful than he realizes and we all know he invented the spells he used to try and automate the things anyway. but if he gets people to talk to, well, he's not complaining
im focusing too much on this. anyway. id also like to note that im making rapha the cook/stove thing because i mean, come on. it's right there
and ok i guess alec comes into this because he uhhhhhh no u know i might go with that izzy thing. so izzy ran away from home because of maryse's bullshit and alec was sent to bring her back. so he was going after her but in the middle of the path there was the whole wolf attack thing that scared off his horse and LUCKILY magnus' house/tower/whatever was right next!!! so of course they take alec and his horse in but also WHOOPS there's a huge snowstorm that lasts for days (par the course for where magnus lives, actually. he DID want somewhere people would avoid. but also i think maybe his magic being fucky has something to do with it) so i guess alec is stuck at magnus' for the foreseeable future
which is HELL for magnus because he is terrified out of his mind that they will accidentally touch and alec will be hurt. and like.... his Constant Crave For Touch is already bad on a regular day, but having someone who could actually hug him in theory just makes it worse, you know? he hasn't interacted with other human beings in so long, just having one there is enough to make his need for touch almost unbearable and just... completely constant. it's hell
so magnus is scared, which means that he keeps to himself. so he tells alec not to go into his room, he tries not to eat at the same time, and other stuff like that, bUT his friends keep sabotaging his plans because they want him to have another friend, jesus christ!! (rapha being like "come on now magnus, you don't want my soup to get cold, do you? i'll be deeply offended. i guess you have no choice but to eat with alec". so magnus goes but the first thing he does is magic his regular table into a gigantic rectangular table with 41908410 seats and seat on on the side opposite to alec. alec just sighs
so like he's constantly coming across as rude because he is trying to avoid alec, alec just doesn't know why
but alec is also a stubborn bitch who goes stir crazy and refuses to just sit around isolated doing nothing while they wait for the stupid storm to finally be over so he can go get his sister. and magnus saved his life, so it's the least he can do to repay him in some way. besides, this is what, the first time that he's been completely away from his mom? for such a long time too? and he's finding that he feels... weirdly free and just relieved and he doesn't want to waste that opportunity with standing idly around alone all day. he had enough of that at home, thank you very much
besides yeah magnus is being rude but alec is used to straight up assholes and abusers (jace. i'm talking about jace. also maryse ofc but mostly jace) and magnus is not that. in fact he makes very polite conversation and is actually pretty fun during dinner, all things considered. he's just.... super private, i guess
AND magnus' friends are all being a nightmare with the making them interact so you know. they end up interacting. and alec makes it a point to help him take care of his house because it is a certified Depression Lair™. magnus can take care of it magically but it's like... so dark and almost suffocating at times and there is stuff like bad painting and piping problems that he never bothered to fix because it isn't affecting the functionality too much but it DOES makes life harder and alec "everything must be at 100% always" lightwood is not here for it so for a few days they are working on fixing the house and... magnus actually feels a lot better when the place has actual sunlight and looks inviting and like a home, he has to admit. when he says that to alec it might be the first time he's given him a real smile and man, is alec smitten
sidenote i guess this means that magnus doesn't exactly... dress well in this au lmaoo i mean it makes sense too because canonically magnus uses dressing up as a way to convey an image of power and untouchability and he doesn't really need that in this AU since he is completely isolated. so i guess he is a bit more like twi magnus - bare-faced and wearing comfortable clothes and the like. this isn't a twi au i'm just saying that it makes more sense for him to dress like that in that context
anyway. after the whole house fixing thing, they officially become friends. it turns out that alec also knows a bit about what it's like to feel isolated and touch-starved (altho he's always had izzy to help in that department, but still) and also what crappy parents are like. magnus shows alec his little mirror that he's enchanted to be able to show him anything he wants and how he uses it to be able to see all the places in the world he'd like to visit - he loves people, he loves culture, and sometimes it's all he can do to watch what's going on in Mumbai and it makes him feel a little better, so, he does that. he also admits that sometimes he catches on some drama happening and uses the mirror to see the people involved and make sure they are okay. kinda like a soap opera of his own but he has the means to interfere and help because of magic, so he will have someone who's struggling with money suddenly find hidden cash or have an "unknown dead relative" give them a lot of money in their will, or something like that. and if he also watches some of their personal drama that unfolds, well. he is lonely and it's not hurting anyone
but magnus doesn't tell him about the curse, and he still makes sure to keep his distance. it stings a little to alec, but it hurts magnus the most because fuck, maybe he just desperately needs someone who will give him the time of day, but he likes this guy and that only makes it harder to keep his distance. he makes it a point to always be at at least two arms length from alec, which alec thankfully respects and doesn't try to get him to breach, but. shit. it's still so hard to not want to just rest his head on his shoulder or get a hug or even fucking touch pinkies like stupid children and he can't. alec even once jokingly suggests that they have a ball since magnus doesn't know how to dance and magnus is actually excited for a second before he remembers that he can't, it would have to mean that alec touches him, and he can't
someone - maybe ragnor - even suggests that maybe he could try gloves and heavy clothing so alec isn't really touching him but magnus refuses to try because he doesn't want to risk it not working and alec getting hurt, because he'd never forgive himself. besides, getting a taste would only make it hurt more. he can't. he can't
but it's alright because at least he has some human company - he loves his friends, he does, fiercely, but it's different when they kind of have no choice but to be with him and also are enchanted creatures. he doesn't even know if they aren't nice to him just because he enchanted them into life, even tho to be fair if he had a choice ragnor wouldn't be that grouchy - and alec makes him laugh and gets him and helped make his place feel more like home, a little bit. and he can pretend that he feels the warmth from alec's body when they are sitting by the fire and feed these crumbs to his desperate need for touch and company
and then the snowstorm ends and it's time for alec to go
honestly, alec himself is kind of heartbroken, but- he loves his sister, and he can't just leave her alone in god knows where, even if he dreads the thought of coming back home now that he's been away from his family for so long. but magnus doesn't want to keep him, and doesn't want alec to feel pity for him, so he's all but pushing alec out of the door (not literally, of course. he can't do that, it would mean touching him) all "go, go, you never know when another storm might start. go see your sister. take my mirror, you can find her more easy". and alec's all "but it's been the only thing-" and magnus waves him off, of course, all "i can always make myself another one. besides, you'll have something to remember me by. now go"
so.... alec goes
and hooo boy magnus is heartbroken and a mess because even tho he knew how much having someone else there helped he had almost forgotten what it was like to be the only human in the house. he just feels extra lonely and even kind of bad about it because hey, his friends are there - not that they begrudge him for it, of course. it's not like they don't also hope for the chance to get out of the house and do other things, but well. they can't. so they understand him. and they know how awful he's feeling right then, but what can they do?
meanwhile alec finds izzy pretty quickly - she's living with this one insufferable villager named clary that alec absolutely can't stand, but- she's happy. and she doesn't want to come back, which alec expected, but he finds that he can't actually insist for her to come back. how could he, when he himself doesn't want to go?
and izzy insists that he stays with her - there's no reason for him to come back. they can stay in the village, and work, and build a life for themselves. alec is the only thing she's been missing ever since she left, and in here the both of them can actually be happy. and do it together, like they're meant to
and when he first gets into the village is the first time since izzy ran away that he was hugged and fuck, it's hard to say no to her
but also... he misses magnus already
and he doesn't know if he can just stay and leave him behind
and of course izzy is like "who is magnus?" so alec tells her the story, how he was attacked by wolves and rescued by this house that miraculously was in the middle of the single most inhospitable placealec had ever seen in his life. and the kind but wary stranger who always keeps his distance but seems so eager for connection, who made alec feel welcome and laugh and feel like he built a life for himself there
and clary tells him that she's heard of the story, but she never knew it was more than a legend - no one really remembers what happened. some say that magnus made a sacrifice to rid the village of a demon, and it turned him into a beast, forever locked in his castle. some say that he himself is the demon, and it's the tower that's containing him and keeping the village safe. some even say that he died battling the demon, and it's his ghost that keeps watch on the tower
she wants alec to explain which one is true, but it's all alec can say that none of these are right and he knows nothing because magnus never told him. all alec knows is that he doesn't want to leave magnus behind
and clary is like... well, if he's not a demon or a ghost, maybe we could bring him to the village too. he has magic, right? he could bring the tower closer. and maybe the other villagers could, you know, visit him and hang out. and he wouldn't be as lonely, and then alec and izzy could both stay
driven by this failproof plan, they decide to go back to magnus and tell him their great idea
except they are IDIOTS and forget about. you know. the damn wolves
and like holy shit is this pack big or what? like no seriously why are there infinite wolves in that one singular pack in beauty and the beast. like holy shit dude there's more wolves near the beast's house than in the whole yellowstone park
anyway there are Many Wolves and while alec is a good archer, izzy is a fantastic fighter, and clary is Fucking Crazy if you give her something stabby, there's only so many wolves they can take on at the same time
good thing magnus is a pining idiot who did in fact make himself another magic mirror and was watching alec with it. so he knows that the dumbass is in trouble and for the first time in years, he uses the portal (his own invention, and he had never gotten to use it before!) to get to them and fight off the wolves
so magnus saves all their lives, at the cost of getting severely injured and passing the fuck out. izzy, who's the one closest, runs to get to him and help put him on one of their horses... and is immediately hit by a blast of magic that almost makes HER pass tf out too
which is when they finally learn that, oh. that is the curse
izzy is fine, of course - the pain ended as soon as she was away from magnus
but it does pose the problem of How The Fuck Are They Getting Him Back To Safety, because they can't exactly wait for magnus to wake up (it's freezing, for starters) but with this amount of pain it won't be physically possible for them to hoist him up and get him on the horse. shit, will the curse work on the horse?
they bring alec's horse (by far the strongest of them because alec is huge buff mcgee) and try to get him to touch magnus and the spell does NOT work on the horse because in order to be dramatic asmodeus was like "you shall never feel human touch again" when he cast the spell, which accidentally gave a LOOPHOLE for non-human animals. so magnus could have had cats the whole time, which he had always dreamed of, but he didnt want to risk testing. besides, his house would be a poor environment for a cat and [self torture noises]
anyway thats one less problem to deal with, 99 to go, so they use some ropes to hoist magnus on top of the horse and bring him back to the tower (it's closer than the village) so they can tend to his wounds. thankfully, as the assigned Big Brother of a very irresponsible izzy, alec has experience with first aid, altho he never really dealt with anything quite this bad. and magnus' friends help, too, as much as they can. inevitably this means that alec ends up touching him even if by accident sometimes, but he knows what to expect so he Powers Through It because he won't let magnus die, damn. and as horrible as that is alec has experience with powering through pain, so. he's gonna bandage him up god damn it
izzy can't stand to see him dealing with that himself tho, so she helps, and clary ends up helping as well because they figure sharing the pain makes it easier and alec doesn't have to be too hurt. minimal touching accidents for alec! good
*narrator voice* And Then Magnus Wakes Up And Alec Hugs Him
full on launches on top of him and brings him into his arms and Magnus screams like NONONO OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING ALEC NO GET OFF ME YOU'LL BE HURT and his shock and distress at the whole thing sends another whole blast of magic that explodes that whole mf before it can touch alec and alec feels no pain and magnus is like.............. did i just COUNTER the spell? and everyone's like well! it looks like u did!
which earns him ANOTHER hug (oh my god alec stop he's so stressed out by this) (who knew alec was so touchy?) and this time he's paying attention to that gut reaction and because magnus is a Certified Magic Genius he realizes what it is that he's doing to counter the spell and immediately starts working on a way to turn this into unhexxing himself for good
which he DOES after some time idk how long but alec stays with him meanwhile and maybe izzy and clary do too, because magnus needs all the company he can get and besides, izzy has always wanted adventure and clary has never left the village before, so this is interesting to them at least. and magnus gets to meet new ppl which is nice
eventually the Begone Spell spell is performed and it works and turns out that when it does that it also unfucks magnus' magic and perfects his sentience spell turning all of his friends into humans WOW WHOD HAVE THOUGHT. so all of them are free to leave the tower as ppl at the same time and GROUP HUG!! and magnus cries like a baby in the group hug because holy shit hes been needing something like this so bad for so long and he never expected to have that with his friends but here he is :)
and then yeah they all move to the village to live a simple but fulfilling life and Magnus and Alec start living together in a little cottage and become husbands the end <3 this is so long too rip me
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trivia-bangtan · 3 years
Text
after (jjk) - 005
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pairing: patient!oc x patient!jungkook
genre: friends to lovers au, kinda a hazel and gus trope, | lots of angst, fluff and suggestive themes
warning: this chapter gets extremely dark 😭 (nothing new lol)
authors note: omfg im so sorry it’s taken me so long to post 😩 the schedule might change from now on bc my schedule changed 😅 but hope u guys enjoy it 😩😩
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there's a phobia called agoraphobia. it’s basically the fear of places and situations that can cause panic, helplessness and/or embarrassment. usually, i can deal with it. but things like cringe worthy scenes and overly cheesy romance is unavoidable.
especially being friends with jeon jungkook.
i knew better than to hand out my phone number to just anyone, but i thought maybe jungkook would be so busy with his own life, he would leave me alone.
for his parents' sake, i hope he had unlimited talk and text for his plan. the boy texted me first thing in the morning and every hour or so. he would call me at night, sometimes even facetime me, just before he went to bed. and even when we would hang up, he would still text me goodnight.
the only other person i would talk to everyday, other than my parents, is hoseok. hoseok was my older cousin, but one of my closest friends as well. but even hoseok gave a break during the day to allow some “me time” for the both of us.
jungkook was relentless. he would always text me “good morning sunshine” and then text me “good night my moon”. what the hell even was that?
as much as it was annoying, it was endearing in a sense. i guess it was nice to have someone other than family constantly checking up on me. but some part of me couldn’t help but wonder if it was because of what namjoon had said and if he felt obligated to have to talk to me.
i knew jungkook wasn’t like that. but a small part of me couldn’t help but convince myself that it could be true.
“so the guy texts you all the time? it’s not a big deal,” hoseok said, sitting across the island in his kitchen. i stuck my fork into my bowl of fruit, impaling a small blueberry in the process.
“i mean, it’s not but it’s weird. hobi, i’ve never had someone crave to talk to me so often. and i swear it has to be because of what our counselor said,” i mumble.
the thing about hoseok is he has an aura that gets you to spill all emotions. much like jungkook. but the difference between the two of them in my life is that i’ve known hoseok a lot longer and can confirm he can keep his mouth shut.
“well contrary to your belief, you’re a decent person to have around,” he shrugs, giving a strawberry in his mouth. i snort at his comment and roll my eyes.
“wow, what a compliment. it’s a wonder you’re single,” i chuckle, shoveling the fork full of blueberries into my mouth.
“i’m single by choice. what about you?” hoseok smirks, wiggling his eyebrows at me.
“what’s that supposed to mean?” i asked, laughing at his expression.
“what?”
“the whole thing?” i respond, laying my fork down onto the counter, leaning onto it with my elbows, forearms flat as i folded my hands.
“i’m single because i choose to be. i prefer comforting solitude than forced company,” he shrugs, continuing to shovel fruit into his mouth.
“forced company?” i ask.
“yeah. like, just because we’re together, they feel obligated to HAVE to hang out with me or invite me everywhere when, in reality, i don’t give a damn. i mean, you know me. we both value our solitude and respect that. but it’s hard to find someone that understands that. and then i’m the bad guy for wanting alone time when really, it’s a mental health break,” hoseok explains, his eyes locked onto the bowl in front of him.
his statement surprised me. he was always such a people oriented person. as kids, he was the first to make friends between us and always such an extrovert. it kind of hurt to know eventually his whole personality switched. but maybe being so wrapped up in my world and in my own issues, i failed to acknowledge the people around me.
the atmosphere changed after that. almost as if there was a sad reminisce in the air.
“do you think you’re forced to keep me company?” i blurted. i couldn’t deny, the thought crossed my mind multiple times before. was everyone around me just babysitting to make sure i didn’t hurt myself?
i couldn’t tell. i knew asking would be dumb. hoseok would never tell me the truth. he’s usually a pretty blunt and up front guy, but he would never outright hurt my feelings. which saddened me even more. would he willingly lie to comfort me? knowing what i knew?
“do you think i am?”
“yeah,” i honestly admitted. we both sat in silence, taking in my answer.
it wasn’t a lie. like i said, the thought had crossed my mind. every time he placed his phone down on the table to force himself to give me his attention. the way he seemingly dropped everything immediately if i asked him to hang out with me or pick me up some place. how i never heard of him being with friends.
the more i sat there, the more i threw myself into overdrive, thinking until my head started to pound from overthinking.
“well, you’re wrong,” he sighed. my eyes flitted up to gaze at his face. he looked sullen, almost like my answer had upset him. i released a silent huff through my nose, smirking in the process.
“you don’t have to protect me,” i murmured quietly.
“my mom called me. she begged me to come home one day. i didn’t understand it at first, but she's my mom. i did as i was told. when i got home, she didn’t say anything, just told me to get in the car. i remember thinking to myself ‘what’s got her feeling this way? why is she being ominous with her actions?’ the whole drive, she said nothing,” hoseok said, a distant look in his eyes.
“she ended up pulling over at some park. it was late, so i didn’t recognize it at first. but then i realized what park it was. it was the park we went to as kids. and, again, i kept wondering to myself why she was being enigmatic with her actions. and then she spoke. she said six words and then didn’t speak the rest of the week,” he said, his voice shaken with sadness.
“what did she say?” i asked softly, my voice a mere whisper. hoseok looked up at me, his eyes glazed red.
“your cousin tried to kill herself.”
i felt like the air had come out of my lungs.
it’s funny, people like to talk about your attempts, but nobody ever tells you where they were and what they were doing when they heard the news. nobody tells you the pain they feel or the hurt. the anger or the betrayal. they pretend like what they felt didn’t happen to convince themselves it wasn’t real and they could move on. because it didn’t work and you’re alive.
but hearing hoseok tell me about his experience, it stirred something in my heart and i hadn’t felt in a long time.
regret.
“she didn’t even mention if you survived or if you were okay. that’s all she said. and because she was crying, i assumed the worst. i had assumed you died. and it felt like everything in me… stopped working. like, i forgot what it was like to not have you by my side. every��� every memory, every laugh. every inside joke. it was like a corny ass film playing at 2x speed in front of me. my mind kept telling itself this can’t be real. she wouldn’t do that to me’. but the longer we sat there and the harder she cried, i couldn’t take it. i jumped out of the car and just started running. i didn’t know where i was going but i just had to run because the car was so suffocating, i thought i was gonna pass out. and i kept asking myself ‘why her? why couldn’t she just talk to me? why didn’t she tell me she was hurting? does she know how much i love her and that i would do anything to keep her here?’ and then i was pissed because i thought you had abandoned me. that you didn’t care about me or your parents or my mom. but then… once i stopped running… i felt bad for you. because i could never imagine the amount of loneliness you must’ve felt thinking the only way to solve this was to end it all,” he said through his compendious recount of that night. i could feel the hurt and regret make its rounds in my heart, forcing my body to follow. it physically ached to hear hobi recall every moment of that night. “i’m sorry,” i cried out, crying into my hands.
“that’s why i hang out with you. that’s why i talk to you. because i don’t want you to feel that kind of loneliness ever again,” he admitted, sniffling. the hurt and regret only further festered and made me cry over hard to the point where i felt like i couldn’t breathe. hoseok stood from his spot, making his way around the island. he stood in front of me, pulling me into his chest, my arms wrapping around his waist. i hadn’t hugged anyone in years, and the amount of care and love hoseok had emitted through his hug made me cry even more.
“and that’s why i’m so glad you have jungkook. because when i can’t be there, at least he is,” he explained, rubbing small circles in my back.
though my doubt was still heavy, and i felt as if he had an ulterior motive, hoseok’s words comforted me in a way.
jungkook had been nothing but kind, never intrusive or inquisitive about my history or my feelings. he spoke to me because he wanted me to know that he cared.
and for the first time in forever, i felt something else too.
hope.
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bookwyrminspiration · 3 years
Note
im still thinking about healer tam, so im just gonna....put all that here...if you dont mind...
specifically ive been really obsessed with the idea of him being like. the elvin equivalent of a pediatrician (or just. have him be a new elwin except their personalities are totally different) bc i feel like hed channel his anger at his own terrible childhood into making sure the lives of children in the present are better than his, if that makes sense? and i feel like he'd sympathize a lot with the angry ones specifically (obviously) and that hed be able to help them put a name to what theyre feeling, etc? it just...tam has always felt like a very sincere and genuine person and i feel like he would absolutely go and try to make peoples childhoods not as terrible as his own. i just. i love him. and i bet hed be like elwin- he cant help but adopt whatever kid he comes across and is in need of a parent figure. thats just his nature.
and this isnt related but is set in the same au- for some reason i really like the idea of him no longer having silver hair? NOT as a "oh hes mellowed out now" way but more in a "the problems people face today are not the same ones as the problems faced before, and clinging on to the past (that is no longer fully relevant) will stop me from doing good in the future" way- he still always wears silver on him as a reminder of what he's been fighting for this entire time, but its not the central part of him anymore, he is still fighting, yes, but its a different fight, and he wants to reflect that. (however, i still think linh would have her dyed hair since she dyed it to remind herself to keep control, and i dont think shed necessarily want to get rid of that message?) tell me if im not making sense here but. yeah.
- pyro
oo i love healer tam!! this was almost exactly the kind of vibe i got from him when you brought him up the first time--you nailed it right on the head. like he has all this anger and lingering resentment and doesn't know where to direct it so he channels it into making the world a better place so no kids end up like him
i'm fascinated by this concept. like. think about it. kids are some of if not the most vulnerable people in a society--they're young and their parents have legal power over them, they haven't learned the full concept of right and wrong, they're small and can't advocate for themselves the same way an adult can. they don't have authority. so tam, this healer who looks intimidating, stepping into that role and saying it's going to be okay and speaking for them and helping them way more than just patching their wounds. it's so good i love it so much. i have a soft spot for characters who are fiercely protective of children because they didn't have the childhood they deserved either
tam just seems like such a kind person, just not in the way you'd think a kind person would be. he hates the way things work right now, so why wouldn't he try and comfort the people experiencing it? if there's kids out there who are furious and hate the world and want to shun their elvin ways--well he was that kid. this kid comes into his office/healing center place just stubborn and expecting Tam to try and get them to calm down and take another chance with the system and say it's not as bad as you think it is and then. tam just agrees with them. and it's like oh you understand. this is a safe space. you're just like me.
also you're idea of him getting rid of the hair is so cool--i love the meaning behind it! his silver bangs have so much pain and anger mixed in with them, i can't even imagine how freeing it would be to cut them off. that message that he's not holding on to that past in the same way, that while he's been affected by his parents and societies actions for life, he's not going to hold that as a part of himself--sure, it'll motive him at times, that lingering pain--and he's going to learn from it and be better. I've seen headcanons that tam cuts his silver hair off and Linh dyes her whole head, which kinda reminds me of that you're saying. I agree that Linh would keep hers, because it wasn't a message to anyone but herself and her own mistakes.
i wonder--do you think Tam would have one specific piece of silver that he'd wear, like a necklace or bracelet he never takes off, or would he swap it out from time to time?
i don't know if i said everything I wanted to but healer tam is so special to me an holds a place in my heart permanently. just the whole idea of taking your anger and refusing to let it overcome you and give up on the world, this firm determination to keep going because there are people, children, who are going to need you there to fight for them
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iridescentides · 3 years
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i watched the ep twice bc i didnt take notes the first time BUT. hsmtmts 2.04 thoughts under the cut
gina first. my favorite part of the episode was when she admitted that she feels out of place living in someone else’s house and that she wanted a bigger part in the play. i was SO worried they were gonna just let her happily sideline herself in a “yay she learned her lesson about not being the center of attention” kind of way bc i would not be able to handle that two seasons in a row. let her be angry!!! she has a lot to be upset about
the gina/carlos conflict was awful bc theyre making carlos unreasonably annoying this season. last season he was nice, he was enthusiastic, not competitive and just rooting for other people. idk why they needed to flip him so drastically to being spoiled, rich, selfish, pushy, and bitchy. and on top of that i have not been vibing with the pieces of dialogue theyve been giving him this season just to score woke points. its so unbearably obvious that even though hes a brown gay character, he was written by a white gay person who thought, on some level, that he was giving the gen z kids the #hashtag representation they wanted. his delivery of every line that screams “remember, im mexican” is so awkward, it doesnt land well, and im begging them to stop. they want so badly to commodify his character and parade him around as a “look how diverse our show is!” thing and im so so sick of it bc you can tell, with all the surface-level pieces of dialogue, that they dont actually care at all
(”look around, theres not a lot of me at this school” we GET it, this show wants to be glee so bad)
im honestly starting to slowly ship rina less and less. in season one i loved seeing someone make gina happy, especially since she had no friends before opening up to ricky. but now its just a whole mess and i wish she would love herself a lil more to realize that its not worth all this stress. he made a choice and no amount of conflicted moments of eye contact is going to fully take that back. im not necessarily against love triangle plots, but i HATE the whole “women wait around hopefully while male character, whose decisions have already hurt multiple people, makes up his mind” bullshit
that being said, gina handled the situation like a CHAMP, im dying over how quickly she was able to mask her pain and make the joke about the twix bar. im love her
we were absolutely ROBBED of an ej/big red performance this episode!!! i am at my LIMIT we better get gaston next week or i will riot
on the ej train, him not getting into duke was extremely predictable. we all kinda saw that coming and knew that would be his main point of growth this season. im glad they didnt wait super long to do it. now please @ writers i am BEGGING you to give my man more screen time than one scene per episode
its very odd that they keep making mr mazzara have emotionally tough conversations with the students. i will do a parallel gifset of those once the season ends. i liked his convo with ej for the most part, but he really didnt have to beat him over the head with the “youre an emotionless robot” thing again. its clear ej is gonna throw himself into av club or whatever (even though at the end of last season that was supposed to be big red?) and discover that he has a lot going for him. because he does, he literally has everything going for him, thats why they had to make his “problem” not knowing himself. bisexual ej caswell ftw
i love the parallels between ej and nini this episode? i think since the beginning ive felt that there was a lot about them under the surface that was similar. it was interesting seeing ej tell nini about duke first, instead of the obvious choice of ashlyn. i wouldve loved to see how that scene wouldve gone with ricky, gina, carlos, or big red though bc each reaction and attempt at comforting him wouldve been so different. i didnt love that nini had to be pulled away from the conversation, but im glad they can still talk to each other after everything that went down. and i love the juxtaposition of ej’s convo with mazzara directly following nini’s convo with miss jenn bc theyre essentially the same.
speaking of, i loved miss jenn in this episode. her stories are always so funny, but i loved seeing her care so much for nini and guide her, like a teacher. i loved how she pointed out that everyone who loves nini just wants her to be happy
im glad nini is leaving yac bc there was no good way to keep that up honestly. but im pretty annoyed that they were so obvious about it? like, they immediately made it the worst place in the world without exploring it very much. the place is super unrealistic, ive never been to drama school but im sure it wouldnt be like that. no creative arts place for KIDS would be so impossibly limiting. plus the weird bluish coloring in comparison to the nice warm tones of the rest of the show was, again, a dead giveaway. why send her to the school at all if it wasnt even gonna matter?
even though im glad nini left yac, im NOT looking forward to the way miss jenn is about to bend over backwards to put her in the play somehow. she plays obvious favorites and im so annoyed
(sidenote: nini just? decided to leave yac without consulting her parents??? ummm)
granted is a very good song, one of my faves so far
ricky deciding to tell nini he wants her to stay was stupid. what did he think that would accomplish? who in their right mind would drop out of a good school for you?
i loved when nini said yac was missing something, and miss jenn said “ricky” and nini said “you.” that was so so sweet and cute
i think the kourtney/howie thing is gonna grow on me. i hate amatonormativity so im not a big fan of them introducing a whole ass character exclusively so kourtney can have a love interest, but i loved the gesture he made of bringing her the pizzas and her flashcards. i feel like kourtneys love language is acts of service, and she was literally this meme when he did that for her:
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i liked seeing ashlyn try to be there emotionally for gina! i want more of them together
overall this episode was okay. not enough songs, and i wish they were spreading out the emotional conversations through the season instead of packing them all into literally one episode, but what we did get was pretty good.
after watching the preview i see that next weeks episode is gonna be about carlos’s party, and i love party episodes. BUT i hope that after that ep we finally get an advancement on the north high stuff! i dont give too many fucks about lily, but i wanna see my son asher angel
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yikesharringrove · 4 years
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I both really want to read a conversion camp fic and really fucking DONT lol but I trust you to do it well and not absolutely destroy us so... I am asking for you to write the conversion camp fic please.
Oh, my plan is to absolutely destroy you all with this one.
This is modern bc it wasn’t gonna be but then I wrote a part and it kinda had to be lol
TW: religion, homophobia, transphobia (nd Steve), conversion camp, anxiety, depression, physical abuse, the word r*pe is thrown around, suicidal ideations, basically, it’s a DOOZY
Seriously, this shit gets DARK. I have A LOT of untapped emotions.
But it has a happy ending, don’t worry
-
Steve’s hands were shaking as they dug through his bag.
They had already pulled out the eyeshadow palette he had tried to sneak in, needed something to make himself feel okay in this inevitable Hell.
“Did you receive our guidelines?” They had found the lipstick he had shoved in one of his shoes. “We specifically outlined prohibited items.” He took a shaky breath. “Your perversion is much deeper than anticipated, Mr. Harrington.” He just nodded.
He was shuffled about, led to a cold blank room.
His first meeting with a conversion specialist.
“What is your infatuation with women’s things?” The man’s voice made Steve feel like there was cold water dripping down his back.
“I just like pretty things.”
“Why do you deny your manhood?”
“I don’t.”
“You say that, but you do. Every time you pretend you’re a woman-”
“I don’t pretend I’m a woman. I just like makeup and stuff.” He gave Steve a disgusted look.
“By denying your true self, you have turned your back on God. You have allowed the devil to infiltrate your soul, to convince you that these perversions are okay.” He looked down at the paper in his lap, the forms Steve had been forced to sit and fill out with his parents. “You were not close with your father, were you?”
“Um, no. Not really.”
“So you pushed away your male role model?”
“He pushed me away, more like.” The man pursed his lips.
“A father does not push away his son unless there is something evil within him. A father can always tell when there is something wrong, something disgusting in his offspring.” He stood up, towering over Steve.
“You are disgusting, Steven Harrington. You are perverse and foul. You turn your back on your Creator. But you are not without a savior. You can be saved. Denounce the devil that tempts you to this life. Follow your savior, and He will lead you to safety.” He held out his hand. Steve took a breath, and shook it.
-
Steve’s first day was a fucking nightmare.
He was led to his room, a small room with two bunked beds and no doors. He was told he’d have three roommates, and if they were caught touching one another, the punishment would be painful.
And then it was group therapy.
He sat in a circle with ten of the other boys from the program. They were forced to discuss every attraction they had ever felt to anyone besides women. They were forced to discuss sexual encounters they had had with men, and call themselves disgusting.
And as it was Steve’s turn, and he talked about wearing panties, and fingering himself, and sucking Tommy’s dick, and he felt disgusting.
At dinner he met one of his roommates, and his heart sank.
“Where’d they scrape you up?” The guy was fucking gorgeous.
“Indiana.”
“And you just a homo? Or...?” The guy’s voice trailed off as he looked Steve up and down. “You one a’ them crossdressers, too?” Steve flushed deeply.
“How, how did you know?”
“Because you look like they got to you already. Means they got something on you. Make you feel real bad about yourself.”
“How, how long have you been here?”
“Long enough. Seen plenty a’ boys come and go. Some cured, some just a lost cause.” He was so nonchalant about the whole thing.
“Why, why so long?” He grinned at Steve, sharp and beautiful.
“Because I’m immune, Pretty Boy.” Steve’s breath hitched. The guy licked over his teeth. “Can’t beat the gay outta me if they tried. And they fuckin’ have.”
“But why, why don’t you want to change? I mean, they’re, they’re right.” His blue eyes went cold.
“They got you deep. Damn, you might be the quickest turn around I’ve ever seen.”
“I just, I don’t want to be wrong anymore.” He leaned closer to Steve.
“You have never been wrong.” Steve felt like he was gonna cry.
A firm hand clapped down on Steve’s shoulder.
“William, I hope you’re treating our new guest nicely.” William’s face fell immediately.
“Yes, Father.” Steve looked up to see a priest holding onto him. His hair was greying and neat. His eyes were cold and dead.
“I’m afraid I’m going to have to take Steven with me.” Steve followed him, eyes downcast, all the way to his office. “Steven, my name is Father Andrew. I’m here to help you.” Steve didn’t like his smile. “We’re going to meet everyday at 8:30 pm for your therapy.”
He pulled out a folder from the bottom drawer of his desk. He placed a photograph in front of Steve with a flourish.
It was porn.
It was fucking gay porn.
He stood in front of Steve, leaning against the desk, off to the side of the image.
“Tell me what you see here.” One of the men had dark hair. He was being taken from behind by the other man, his blond hair and bright eyes stirred something in Steve.
“Two men. Having sex.”
He didn’t see Father Andrew’s hand, just heard the crack of it against his cheek.
His eyes watered, his cheek burned.
“What do you see?”
“Two perverts.”
“What are they doing?”
“Defiling one another.”
“Good, Steven. You’re learning.”
He placed another photograph down. This time, the man being fucked had a full face of makeup, tears making the dark eyeliner run as he was on his back, hands cuffed to the bed. The man fucking him was smirking at the camera, tongue between his teeth.
“How does this make you feel?”
“Disgusted.”
“Why?”
“That they, they would touch each other like that.”
“Do you have fantasies like this? Of being tied up by another man? Raped by another man?”
And the answer, the answer was technically yes. He had plenty of fantasies of being tied up, taken rough, taken dirty.
But rape. That’s a strong fucking word.
“No, Father.” Another crack. Another slap.
“Lying is a sin, Steven.”
“I, I don’t want to be, to be raped.” Another slap.
“Lying is a sin, Steven.”
“Yes, yes Father. I have had fantasies.”
“These are not fantasies, these are perversions planted in your mind by demons, by the devil trying to pull you away from Christ our Lord. Do not let these demons lead you astray.”
He pulled out another picture.
Steve’s heart fucking stopped.
It was a picture of himself. A nude he had taken for Tommy.
He was wearing pretty lingerie, pouting to the camera. He remembers taking it, remembers putting on his makeup, posing over and over until he took one he liked. They must’ve gone through his phone, through his texts.
“Why do you dress like a woman?”
“Be-because I’m disgusting.” And the thing is, Steve had been told plenty of times that day that he’s disgusting, and he had begun to believe it.
“Good, Steven. You are disgusting. Do you believe you’re a woman?”
“No, Father.”
“Then why have you been experimenting with women’s things?”
“I believed I wasn’t a man.”
“And are you a man?”
“Yes, Father.”
“God made you a man.”
“Yes, Father.” Steve still didn’t like his smile.
He switched the image.
And it was another one of his nudes. This time he was in a skirt, kneeling with his back to the mirror, one hand spreading his cheeks, showing off the silver plug in his ass.
He even remembers the text he had sent with it.
Tommy had been studying for a test, so Steve sent that picture and said but im lonely :( and Tommy had replied I’ll be there in twenty.
“Why do you have an obsession with your anus?” Steve could feel the blood drain from his face.
“I, uh, it feels good.” Another slap.
“How does spitting in the face of your Heavenly Father feel good, Steven? Sodomy does not feel good.” Another slap. Steve’s face felt like it was on fire.
“I’m sorry, Father. I am vile, and disgusting.” Steve was sobbing, felt so fucking pathetic, trying to look anywhere but the printed image of himself.
“I think that’s enough for tonight. I expect you here tomorrow after dinner.”
Steve fucking ran back to his room.
The other boys were asleep. He climbed into the top bunk, curling into himself.
He felt disgusting, he felt foul and wrong and bad.
He tried to stifle his sobs into his pillow, the scratchy case muffling his panic attack.
“Hey, Stevie.”
“I’m sorry. I’ll try to be quiet.” There was a sigh, breath fanning over his face.
And then the boy from earlier was swinging himself into bed with him, curling against him.
“They said-”
“I know exactly what times they patrol. I’ll leave your bed before then.” He sighed. “First night’s always the hardest. You just gotta get through. Tell them what they wanna hear, but remember that they’re fucking wrong. You are valid, and real. Being gay is not disgusting.”
Steve curled into him, letting himself be comforted.
“Thank you. Thank you, William.”
“Oh, Christ. Call me Billy.”
“Thank you, Billy.”
-
As time passed, it was easy to retreat into himself.
He met with Father Andrew every night, got slapped and hit when his answers weren’t condemning enough.
But each night, Billy would crawl into bed with him, would hold him when he broke down.
The kiss was inevitable.
It happened after Steve had an extreme day, the beating he received when he had admitted to being nonbinary, that he had asked his friends at home to use other pronouns.
And Billy had said you’re perfect the way you are, Sweet Thing.
And Steve kissed him.
And Steve wanted to die.
-
“Forgive me, Father. For I have sinned.” Steve took a shaking breath.
He was kneeling in the small confessional.
They had Mass every three days, and confession each Friday.
“It has been one week since my last confession.” He took a deep breath. He needed to get this of his chest, needed to get the punishment he deserved. “Father, I, the feelings have not gone away. There is, there’s a boy, and I, I love him. And I try not to. I try not to look at him, to remember the devil is leading me astray. But Father, I think about him. I think about him often.”
“This is an extremely grievous sin, my son.”
“I know, Father. Please help me. I want to, I want to be pure. To be free of this sin, this temptation.”
“I offer, as penance for your sins, to pray a rosary for each time you have had an evil thought about your fellow man this week. As you ponder the Mysteries of the rosary, consider how God created you, how Jesus died for you, and you wipe your feet on their love.”
“Yes, Father.”
“And our meeting will be arduous tonight, Steven.”
“Yes, Father.”
“Now please, recite the Act of Contrition.”
Steve’s hands shook as he recited the prayer, finishing his confession with Father Andrew.
-
“Now, Steven. You discussed having impure thoughts today.”
Steve’s knees ached from praying the rosary so many times earlier today. He hadn’t eaten, had gone straight to the Chapel after his confession.
He wanted to pray, to cleanse himself.
And he didn’t want to risk seeing Billy.
“Yes, Father.”
“And you mentioned that you love another boy.”
“The devil is trying to make me think it’s love.” Father Andrew smiled his empty smile down at Steve.
“That’s right Steven. Because love cannot exist between two men. Love is a beautiful thing created and given to us by The Lord God.” Father Andrew leaned over Steve, made him shrink back in his seat. “Which is why you are unlovable as you are. You are foul and vile. You may be loved if you change.”
He grabbed Steve’s hair, holding his head still as he slapped his face.
And Steve let him.
He was foul, he was vile.
He deserved the pain.
-
Two months.
That’s how long it took Steve to “graduate”.
He left the facility in clean khakis, a nice sweater his mother had sent him to wear home.
Billy had left a week and a half prior.
He was deemed a lost cause.
Steve’s mother was there to pick him up, hugged him tight and told him how happy she was that he was fixed.
He was quiet as they drove, watching the shadows the summer sun cast on the side of the plain flat road.
“Your father will be pleased. You’ve made such wonderful progress. Free of all those delusions.”
They passed Tommy’s house.
He felt sick.
-
The first thing Steve did when he got home was destroy all his make up.
He took everything feminine from it’s hiding spot in the back of his closet.
He scraped out the eye shadow, smeared the lipstick all over his dresses.
He cut up his lingerie, shoved everything into a black garbage back, driving into town to toss it in the dumpster behind the gas station.
He wanted it away, he wanted it gone. He wanted to be pure.
-
His hands shook as he zipped up the suitcase.
He didn’t have much in there, was planning on taking enough to get him through a little while, then maybe buying some things, some pretty things.
His parents were asleep downstairs, he was planning on being long gone by the time they woke up.
He put on his backpack, taking his wallet and tiptoeing down the stairs, his shoes in his hand.
He had a plan, would drive to the bus station, leave his car there.
Someone will find it, and at that point, he’ll be long gone.
He bought a bus ticket to Chicago, paid in cash and gave a fake name.
He was fucking out of here.
They were fucking out of here.
-
“As I live, and fucking breathe.”
Steve startled as a hand came down on their shoulder.
They startled again when they turned around, came face to face with a ghost from the past.
“B-Billy?” Billy’s hair was longer than it had been at the camp. His smile was lazier, his eyes brighter. Steve’s gut gave an excited little flutter as he looked them up and down.
“You look fuckin’ gorgeous, Pretty Boy.” Steve flushed, adjusting their dress. It was new.
It had been three years since the camp. One year of Steve living in pain, until they packed their shit, and moved to the Golden Coast. They left in the middle of the fucking night, ran away like a scared child, never looking back.
And here was the love of their goddamn life, in some hole in the wall coffee shop in San Fransisco.
“It’s uh, it’s not Pretty Boy, anymore.” Billy’s grin got even wider.
“Thank fuck.” He swung himself into the seat across from Steve’s, upsetting some of the papers they were working on.
“What happened to you, Billy?” Billy’s smiled slipped, just a little.
“My dad was tired a’ paying for that joint if I wasn’t getting better. So he said if I wasn’t fixed in like, a month, he would stop paying, and I would be kicked out. Stayed true to his word. Haven’t seen the bastard since.”
“Oh. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. Getting kicked outta that place is the best fuckin’ thing that’s ever happened to me.”
“I graduated. Went through the whole thing. Took me a year to realize how fucked up it was.”
“Jesus. They got you deep.” Steve shrugged.
“I’m okay now.”
“Yeah? What’re you doin’?”
“Goin’ to school. Gonna be a counselor. Hopefully work in an elementary school, or something.” Billy’s eyes were bright.
“That’s amazing. Gonna tell all the little queer kids that they’re valid and all that?”
“That’s the goal.” Billy grinned. “What are you doing now? You with anyone?”
“I own a bar, actually. Kind of a dive, but it’s a good time.” He looked at Steve through his lashes. “You should come by, sometime. Be good to see you.”
“I’d like to see you too.”
“And to answer your question, I’m not with anyone. Not right now.” He smirked. “But I could be.” He leaned over the table, drawing one finger down Steve’s hand. “I like seeing you happy. Feel like I only ever saw you cryin’ in that joint.”
“Well, spent a lot of time crying there.”
“For good reason.” Billy took their hand. “It’s really good to see you.”
“Y’know I told Father Andrew I was in love with you. Got beat black and fuckin’ blue for it.” Billy’s face was grave.
“Why’d you do that?”
“Wanted to be fixed. Took me a year to realize I didn’t need that.”
“You stop lovin’ me in that year?”
“Not even in the two after that.” Billy took a shaking breath.
“You know, I uh, I love you too. Always did. It broke my fucking heart to leave you in that place. Was gonna wake you up that night, get you to run away with me. But they took me out, uh, forcibly.”
“Bet you put up a real good fight.”
“Broke Father Ryan’s nose.” Steve let out a burst of laughter, clapping one hand over their mouth.
“I was wondering about that. He had a splint for like, a month.”
“Yeah, well, bastard kept tryin’ to exorcise me. Headbutted him right in the face.”
“Good for you, Bill. Sometimes I wish I could light the whole place on fire.”
“Me too.” Billy took their hand, pressing a kiss to the back of it. “I gotta head, but I wanna see you. Soon. Later today, if you can.”
“Yeah, uh, I’m just doing some homework, but I could stop by the bar tonight? I don’t have shit to do tomorrow.”
“Lemme pick you up. We can go to dinner before I take you to the bar.” They smiled softly at him.
“I’d like that.”
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imaginethathaikyuu · 3 years
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How did I find your blog? I was looking for soft Kuroo content on google. And your soft birthday hc’s for him came up. And that’s also how I found tumblr
What was the first story of yours that I read? That Kuroo piece ^
Roughly, how long have I been following this blog? Well I found that piece shortly after it was posted so…. Around the beginning of December 2019 I think. Got a tumblr a few months later and you were the first person I followed (had you in my bookmarks bar before that! (still have you in my bookmarks bar and when I share my screen in classes there are occasionally questions. I ignore them))
What’s something I’ve noticed about you personality wise? You’re really clever and funny. But you’re also sweet. But because you’re clever you have no hesitation in setting up and enforcing your boundaries, and I really admire that strength and confidence.
Have we ever interacted, either by PM, ask, or in the comments? What was my perception of you? YES!!! PM, SOOOOO many asks, comments, and you sent me an ask. And reblogged it. And I cried. A lot. My perception: you’re lovely and I want to h*ld your h*nd ….please.
What’s my favorite story of yours? Oh how to choose. Firstly, I’m a nb, biracial, bisexual. Honey, I’ve never made a choice in my life. But let’s try here. Anything you’ve written for Tsukki. Literally all of it is gold. Fight me. I was going to write “especially [piece title]” but I LITERALLY CANNOT CHOOSE ONE. Your Bokuto nightmare piece. Your Kuroo angsty fight. Your Tendou dealing with S/O with parents who yell piece. Your Kinktobers. Your Futakuchi and Mattsun pieces. And your Terushima pieces. Ugh. I CANNOT CHOOSE. OH AND YOUR STREAMER KENMA!!!!!! OKay just… all of it. I can’t choose. I tried, and I failed, and I’m willing to admit failure.
What’s a story I’d love to see you write? I don’t want to say this… because it hurts me… but I just KNOW you’d write brilliant angst. Some of my fav pieces of yours are pained beginnings with happy endings. That fight with Tsukki after a bad day at work. The pieces I mentioned above (nightmare pieces and fighting pieces and angsty home life ha.. ha.ha.ha.). That Oikawa one where the reader wakes up in bed without him and thinks he left. You write these gorgeous atmospheres and descriptive, visceral feelings, and if you chose to use it for evil…. You could get evil shit done. You’re SO powerful. So I want to read it… but also…. I don’t. I’d love to see you write ABO like you mentioned a while back or just see you explore a cutesy soulmate AU or something. I think you’d be really good at writing an AU where you hear what the other person’s listening too. I feel like you’d be so good at making me feel something for someone who was in another city. (think this would be cute with Tsukki cos he’s headphones boy, OR terushima because I like the dynamic of someone flirty, who clearly cares about looks, falling for someone he can’t see) ANYWAY….
Favorite pairing you write for?/fav reader insert? Tsukishima x reader. It’s my fav self-ship. (but also Mattsun, Bokuto, Oikawa, Tanaka, and Akaashi because you write them SO WELL!!!!)
Have any of your stories helped me through a hard time? Of course. Your self-harm piece came at a time I needed it. Iwaizumi’s in particular saved my life. But also your Tendou dealing with S/O parents who fight… came right when I needed it. Also starting college… was hard.. And reading and rereading your fluff really pulled me through it.
Have any of your stories hit closer to home? YES (see above).
Do I genuinely like your blog, it’s aesthetic or posts? It’s overall feel? It’s content? Yes. The aesthetic is, ngl, a wee bit basic. But I kinda love that. And the feel? It feels like home. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Your blog is my safe space. So, yes, I love. It’s content? YES. OF COURSE. Your personality probably could have kept me here even if your content was kinda shit, but I follow you RELIGIOUSLY because of your content. So yes. I adore.
Is English my first language? Kinda??? I grew up in a trilingual household so I kinda learned three languages at the same time while growing up. But no, I don’t need to translate it in my head. Because English was one of the three.
Anything I want to share? Yes. Please keep being kind to yourself, caring for your mental health, enforcing your boundaries, loving Akaashi, and just generally being you. You’re so lovely as you are, and I hope you continue grow, but never change. Also I’m sorry about all your work stuff…. It literally makes me feel sick. And I hope you find a job where that’s not tolerated, or that your work finds a better way of protecting it’s employees. I know you know this, but none of it is your fault. I just hope things improve. AND I love you… a lot. And I’m so proud of you hitting 9K and you deserve so many more followers because your pieces are just... GORGEOUS. I can’t wait until I’m at Barnes and Noble in a few years and I can pick up a hardback copy of your debut novel. I’m so excited to say “I knew Em Akaashi (which is your legal name as far as I’m concerned) before she was so popular among the masses.”
so ive been trying to figure out the correct and worthy way to reply to this ask since the moment i got it......because its so fucking sweet and kind and amazing and pure and perfect and i just dont know how to use WORDS to explain the way it makes me feel so.......i will just reply in bullet points in regards to every question u answered to make it a lil easier :D
- the fact that u found my blog on google ....... like this may be odd and a very specific thing but before i made this blog i always hoped that 1 day my fanfic would pop up in google searches bc thats ALWAYS how i found fics when i was reading them religiously and i felt so much ENVY!!!!! LIKE I WANTED TO BE THERE I WANTED MY FICS TO B POPULAR ENOUGH TO POP UP ON GOOGLE.....that may sound very selfish but its true......so thats just very cool to me... :]
- u’ve been here for so long omg 🥺🥺🥺🥺 if anyone in ur classes ever asks jus promo my blog like its nbd 
- thats so sweet what 🥺🥺🥺 i try my best to advocate for myself and be confident for myself.....ive spent far too much of my time being silently uncomfortable because i was afraid of pushing someone’s buttons seeming rude.....but NO MORE!!!! i know what upsets me, i know my triggers, i know what i dislike experiencing, and im never gonna let myself be anxious or uncomfortable for someone else’s sake, esp if theyre being rude 2 me. i would say its less strength and confidence and moreso me attempting to take control of my anxiety in the places i can (aka on the Internet) bc i am SICK OF ANXIETY ATTACKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
- BBY no dont CRY!!!! im racking my brain trying to think of who u are i wanna know so bad so i can thank u personally for being the kindest person in the world n so i can send u more asks >:(........MY HAND IS URS TO HOLD!!!!! dont tell akaashi tho 
- OMG my TSUKKI pieces.....hes so hard to write why ;-; thank u so much im so glad u enjoy my works<3333
- NOT ANGST NOT LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!! pained beginnings to happy endings are my specialty.....IMAGINE me writing a sad ending like i CANT!!!!!!!!! ive only done it a few times and it is so Difficult.....YALL ARE SO LUCKY IM NOT EVIL!!!!!! ive had this idea for an angsty akaashi fic that i think about and write in my head every night before falling asleep and it Hurts and i wanna write it but i also can’t make myself :D ABO would be very fun but i genuinely do not know how to explore the concept while making it feel like it’s Written By Me.....u know what i mean? same with soulmate aus, i really dislike writing them because theyre just boring to me like they all feel the same everything’s been done for them.....which is FINE!!! but i write enough cliche stuff as it is HAHA, a long distance type soulmate au could be fun and interesting but ldr’s trigger me bc of a past relationship so </3 but hey maybe someone else could use the idea!!!!!
- gotta love tsukishima <3
- im rlly glad my writing could be there for you friend, one of the biggest reasons i write fanfic (and write the kind of fics i write) is bc i know firsthand how much reading sweet stories abt ur comfort characters can help u through the shittiest times - i just wanna offer ppl some support and happy feelings and love cuz sometimes fanfic is the only time we can find those things (and theres nothing shameful abt that either if anyone bullies u for reading fanfic i will fight them)
- I KNOW MY LAYOUT IS LAZY AND BASIC AS FUCK AND THAT IS BECAUSE I DO NOT GIVE A SHIT LMAOOOO so im glad u think its ok...... like i dont have the patience to create a fancy ass layout that actually works are u KIDDING ME??????? I COULD LITERALLY NEVER plus i kinda like that its just the basic kinda ugly boring default layout like it makes it simple and easy and i feel like it brings focus to the only thing on this blog that i care about which is my writing, i rlly only care about the content here and not aesthetics jdbljdabsdk that blue background will be there til i Die......i adore u more btw 
- WHOA trilingual what the hell ur so cool tell me more 
- you have my word, friend, that i will continue to do all of that so long as you do the same. take care of yourself, be kind to yourself - i know u can do it, ur so kind to others and u deserve to be kind to urself, too so this is the part that genuinely brought me to tears because *sappy dumb shit ahead* ok look ever since i can remember the one and only thing ive wanted to do with my life is become an author ...... dreams of book covers with my name written on them and words in pages written by me and fanart of my characters and going into my local bookstore n seeing my book there....these thoughts all haunt my fucking brain because i want it SO BAD!!!!!!!! so bad that it makes me CRY!!!!!!!! ive never wanted something more and just!!!!!!!!!!!! idk how much u meant that part but holy fuck!!!!!! i hope so bad that one day i can send u a free copy of my book as a thank u for being the person u are. u have all my love friend, every last bit of it <333333333
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palmett-hoes · 4 years
Note
Hi, I really loved your post with the monsters as Birds of Prey! Was wondering if you had any thoughts on the Foxes as Marvel or Mcu characters? I feel like I could see Dan as Carol Danvers and Andrew for sure is Jessica Jones, idk about the rest.
oh wow old post!!
haha unfortunately i’m not really a comics person so i don’t feel like i can really give the best analysis possible, but i have seen most of the mcu movies and bits and pieces of the netflix show so i’ll try my best. also im using dc characters too bc i want to
1. Dan: I think your instinct with Dan as Captain Marvel is spot-on (at least uhhh,, based on the movie lol sorry comics ppl). Her direct, forceful powers and fighting style are definitely reminiscent of dan’s no-nonsense leadership approach. similarly the themes of overcoming sexism and acceling in a male-dominated industry in the captain marvel movie is pretty much the same as dan’s story establishing herself as the first female exy captain (tho sports is way more valid than the military). plus there’s a lot of emphasis on love and friendship between women that dan is ALL about. also lashana lynch would be a god tier dan wilds fc. Dan could also def have that lawful good Okoye from Black Panther energy. Loyal, disciplined, no-nonsense leader. no powers except discipline. no hair. also danai gurira in 2012 with the dreads and the sword and the cape on TWD was definitely part of my middle school sexual awakening
2. Kevin: Aquaman. this is based pretty much exclusively on the fact that jason momoa is my #1 kevin fc and also that Pasifika kevin is phenomenal and mandatory, actually. otherwise i think he has a decent amount of stick-up-the-ass cyclops energy. or dick grayson nightwing energy but i don’t have any evidence for why. kinda looks like him tho
3. Andrew: andrew gets the most characters bc he’s my favorite. i think ur jessica jones instincts are absolutely correct, both in her storyline (i only watched the first season) and her powers. i’ve seen some powers au and the tendency seems to be giving andrew like,, psychic powers or the like, and i don’t really agree. andrew is a very direct character. he’s pragmatic, he confronts problems head on, and he doesn’t muck about in details. to me this really translates best into physical powers like super strength that help u big punch straight thru all ur problems. also i def think andrew would be not just a solo hero but a mercenary (or a detective) because he’s not altruistic enough to be a standard vigilante. he doesn’t care enough about other people to hang out on rooftops all night waiting for Crime to occur. there’s a price for that.  which brings us to the NEXT andrew hero: deadpool. maybe in personality more of a drugged andrew but the superpowered mercenary is really a perfect fit for andrew. also, healing powers have a decidedly tragic poetry to them on andrew. already he’s self-destructive, if he had a healing factor his concern for his own well-being would be so beyond rock bottom it’d be in the earth’s core. even worse when you remember that with a healing factor, as opposed to indestructibility, you still feel all the pain. which brings us to Wolverine and X-23, who have the same thematic points as deadpool but are much more of a personality match and they have knife hands, which i really think andrew would appreciate. ending that sadness train and onto another tho, andrew’s aesthetic and Vibes fit the Winter Soldier just SO well (just that movie tho, not really civil war or anything past that) and a reinterpretation of the captain america story using the twinyards would be incredibly interesting. and finally, one last hero that would work really well for andrew: rogue, only remove the angst around not being able to touch people, andrew would love that. one touch and their comatose? baller. don't fucking touch him.
4. Matt: Shazam. I didn’t see the shazam movie but my dad and brother did and they said it was very funny and all the trailors looked like it had a lot of fun himbo energy and i really think that fits. in terms of matching himbo disaster energy i think i’ve heard good things about comics hawkeye (not mcu). thor?
5. Aaron: Mr. Fantastic. now this might be a stretch but aaron is a character who uses a skin-deep veneer of anger to cover the fact that he’s actually quite pliant and bends to other people’s wills. and he’s a doctor or w/e. he could alse be like,, antman. he’s smart right? hank pym not paul rudd. katelyn can be wasp
6. Seth: Arm Fall Off Boy. no i will not elaborate.             ..... ugh fine, but i'm using my favorite piece of superhero media of all time: x-men evolution, the one where they're all teenagers in public high school. seth can be lance alvers/avalanche who’s a bit of a jerk and has a lot of issues with authority and has a rivalry with cyclops very reminiscent of seth with kevin, but still there’s the recurring theme that he’s lashing out because of low self-esteem and a bad situation and he’s a surprisingly sympathetic character who i’m very fond of. his power is earthquakes but i think the name makes that pretty self-explanatory
7. Allison: Iron Man. cocky, bitchy, and rich rich rich. sounds like allison to me. then to elevate it a level higher: emma frost, rich bitch extraordinaire. also if allison had telepathic powers she would be unstoppable. plus one more bitchy, morally-gray blonde (but chaotic this time): Harley Quinn
8. Nicky: Okay so I do wanna give a quick shout-out to Northstar, the first openly gay comicbook superhero, who’s a speedster which I’d actually say fits Nicky pretty well. However, if i had to choose a superhero to represent nicky in presence and powers it would have to be Jubilee from x-men (... from what i’ve heard lol. i’ve never actually consumed any of her Media hahaha anyway) she’s a joyful, energetic presence and her powers are setting off fireworks which i think is a good balance of nicky being a supportive cousin-parent AND a chaotic train wreck garbage trash man. also gonna throw in johnny storm for a cheap 'flaming' joke
9. Renee: Thunder/Blackbird from Black Lightning bc she’s a fufkin lesbian lol. (i don’t watch the show but i do follow nafessa williams’s tag). now the fr ones i’m gonna do together because to me they have the same Vibes so i chose them for the same reasons. Wonder Woman and Storm who to me have the same  reserved, impartial, regal energy. honestly ethereal and somewhat otherwordly, and quite literally goddesses. also op as hell.  black widow and her “red in my leger” looking for redemption story also fits thematically.
10. Neil: okay lazy answer first: the flash or quicksilver. get it? because they run fast? and neil run too? yea i like to think i've proven myself to be better than such a surface level interpretation but worth the mention ig. so for srs now, mystique and her shape changing powers would be an interesting interpretation of neil's identity issues, but i wanna push it a step further. nightcrawler would actually be possibly the MOST interesting hero to apply to neil 1. because powers still very movement go fast place to place 2. because of the thematic focus on neil's unusual looks and the lengths he goes to hide them, very much in line with the way nightcrawler will use a hologram-projector in order to look human, yet in both cases it's only a surface-level illusion, and 3. his parentage. here, mary would be mystique, which i also think works very well considering mary seemed to be the far more effective chameleon on the run than neil, and also fits with her place as a morally grey character, as mystique herself is often a villain or an antagonist, with her own agenda and shadowy motives. then nathan matches well with nightcrawler's father: azazel, a literal demon, and also where kurt gets his appearance. it's a shockingly coherent narrative between the three of them. then, to also give neil some powers that aren't contingent on his fucked up geneology and rather on his own merit and abilities, Black Canary and her sonic voice parallel the way that neil began to anchor his identity and take ownership over himself through his voice and his sick roasts
and 1 extra, wymack: batman, on account of his altruism, his dedication to second chances, and his many, many adopted children
---
anon, ik it's been a sec since you sent this, so i hope it gets back to you. i had a fun time with it and it prompted like,,, 7 different au s that i'll never write
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pidgebeifong · 4 years
Text
atla characters as bnha characters (part 2)
Post-redemption arc Zuko (aka thank-god-ur-not-bald-anymore) as Todoroki Shouto
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if you didn’t see this one coming idk what to tell you
Daddy Issues™
emotionally scarring burn on left eye inflicted by a parent
Co-Presidents of the Shitty Dads Club
gorgeous, sweet, out of ur league
have to be at least friendship level 3 to unlock Mysterious Tragic Backstory
fire powers that they wouldn’t use/lost the ability to use for a while
hot (both literally and figuratively)
the favourites of their fandoms
Socially Awkward™
both have a sweet & kind friend who’s partly the reason they’re not angsty and emo anymore, everyone say thank you midoriya for giving us the todoroki we have today (give me platonic!zukaang/tododeku or give me death)
started out friendless and now they have like six bffs
‘farther is for physical distance, further is for metaphorical distance, and father is for emotional distance’
Pre-redemption arc Zuko (aka what-the-fuck-is-that-ponytail) as Bakugou Katsuki
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weird hair
Angery Bois™
im sorry they both look like really angry pomeranians i can’t take them seriously
‘you wanna go?! you wanna fuckin go?!’ tell me that isn’t the entirety of bakugou’s dialogue summed up in two sentences
‘let me see what you have’ ‘A KNIFE’ ‘NO’
torments the hell out of peace-loving main protagonist & hunts them down
both have had their lives saved (kinda? at least deku tried) by the main protagonist when they were still assholes
have father figures (kinda? does all might count?) who just want them to stop being fucking assholes and make the right decisions for once but do these dumbasses listen? no
have kidnapped someone/been the one who got kidnapped
100% would recommend anger management therapy. pls for the love of god sort out ur deep-rooted issues
repressed gays
zuko gets a pass bc of his emo tragic backstory but honestly baku was such a jerk to deku in szn 1 for literally no reason. fuck you bakugou
Azula as Dabi (aka Todoroki Touya, we all know it’s true at this point)
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yes i have a special place in my heart for villains with blue fire and tragic backstories, what about it
figuratively and literally hotter than their siblings (don’t @ me y’all know it’s true)
the ‘evil’ sibling one of whom was actually just misguided and whose redemption arc i’m still waiting for, but i’m not going to elaborate on that bc the way the atla writers handled azula just makes me mad & I’ll end up talking forever about it
fathers majorly fucked them up (ozai was abusive to azula, fight me)
kinda psycho
god if dabi really does turn out to be a todoroki and still doesn’t get a redemption arc i am suing. my heart cannot take this pain again
their most popular ships are both gay with a person who’s the complete opposite of them and have/will inevitably betray them in the end (tyzula, hot wings. manga readers know what i’m talking about but i don’t think dabi/hawks is too popular a ship with anime-only fans yet)
Ty Lee as Ashido Mina
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pink!!! pinkity pink pink
bubbly and fun, peppy attitudes
‘be gay do crimes’
actually incredibly dangerous and formidable even though they don’t really look like it (can you imagine fighting someone who can literally paralyze your entire body with a few punches? or shoot honest-to-god acid at you? we stan two (2) queens)
really flexible and good at sports (ty lee’s acrobatics, mina’s hip hop dancing)
both part of iconic squads (ozai’s angels, the bakusquad)
both their squads have a kinda mean leader (azula, bakugou)
don’t really take criticisms too harshly and always brush off mean comments by azula or bakugou with a smile
yeah i don’t really have a lot to say about them bc they don’t have a lot of screen time (we were robbed) but they’re cool
Mai as Aizawa-Sensei
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110% done with ur shit
Did Not Sign Up For This
the OG emos
*drives up to mcdonalds with ten kids in the backseat clamouring for fries, orders one (1) black coffee and leaves*
every day their will to live dies a little more
neither of them have bending/powers that are useful in combat so they’ve both learnt to be really good at fighting the traditional way, without bending or quirks
just let them sleep ffs
kinda hot when they’re fighting
dragged into dangerous situations by the main characters when they just want to mind their own business and take a nap
‘wake me up (wake me up inside)’
Uncle Iroh as All Might
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father figures
cheerful, jovial, always there to save the day
very powerful & strong
kinda old
both have antagonistic relationships with the ‘abusive fathers in power’ in each of their respective series
you probably can’t tell but i really don’t like iroh (even tho i adore all might) so it’s kind of hard to find good stuff to say about him, but i’m trying
give good advice that’s useless anyway bc the protagonists literally never follow it
both adopt a young boy who isn’t actually their kid but whom they have a closer relationship with than the boy’s actual dad has with the boy
train that young boy to become their successor
Fire Lord Ozai as Endeavour (aka human pieces of shit)
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FUUUUUUCCCCKKK YOOOUUUU
burn in hell
apologise to your fucking kids
why was end*avour given a redemption arc in the manga that’s just as bad as h*ggar getting that stupid fucking redemption arc in voltron, makes absolutely zero (0) sense
good at one (1) thing and it’s giving their kids emotional trauma that they’ll have to carry around for the rest of their lives
have stupid beards and moustaches that makes them look like paedophiles
being indirectly/directly responsible for burns on their sons’ left eyes
hold on a sec i’ll be right back just give me a moment, i gotta go punt these dickheads into the mfing sun
if they were dying of hunger and i had a feast in front of me, i’d tell my servants to burn the leftovers
Princess Ursa as Todoroki Rei
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both forced into marriages because of their bloodline/powers that would make their future kids strong
had abusive husbands who were very powerful and feared
scarred their kids (literally)
disappeared from the household while their kids were still young due to an incident where they killed/harmed a family member (ursa poisoned fire lord azulon, rei scalded shouto’s eye)
had a child/children who was/were disregarded in favour of the child who was favoured bc of their abnormally strong powers
unintentionally abusive (ursa fucked azula up bad, don’t @ me)
idk what else to say we got like two and a half seconds of screentime in total for each of them
Bonus:
Emo Zuko (like even more than normal) as Tokoyami Fumikage
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professional Edgelords™ such darkness
so drama
very emo
Sparky Sparky Boom Man as Bakugou Katsuki (aka sparky sparky boom boi)
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boom boom time to die
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mmmleckerlecker · 3 years
Note
Baby Felix was supposed to be sweet and innocent? I certainly read him as naiive but when puberty hit I definitely felt he was high-key selfish and tried to remain willfully ignorant to as much of the world as possible. He’s not a bad person for it, the tragedy of youth is finding things out on your own and maybe learning stuff you didn’t want to or can’t accept along the way. He chose not to talk to anyone bc he thought they wouldn’t understand and ended up doing some really heinous deeds.
What an interesting take 🤔 This answer got kinda long so im gonna put it under a readmore
Baby Felix was definitely meant to be kind and caring. I’m not sure which aspect about him you saw as naive? Perhaps him thinking he could remain friends with Benji? And I’m not sure which aspects about him you found to be selfish or willfully ignorant? Maybe the fact that he stayed around Benji for so long even tho he knew it was probably dangerous? I know the main conflict of Heart Pangs makes it seem like all preds and prey are Mortal Enemies and there’s no possible way they could ever get along, but generally both sides DO get along reasonably well. I think this is mostly demonstrated in the College Years chapters, where the main characters are Out In The Real World but haven’t yet entered into this Facility vs Epomis war. In this way, I don’t think it’s unreasonable for some preds to to seek out friendships with prey and expect them to end well.
As for him committing heinous deeds because he chose not to talk to someone about his problems, there’s kinda a lot to unpack there. I think the Bad Things that Lux does are a result of far more than him being too afraid to talk things out with with someone when he was younger. Granted, I truly do not know WHO he would have talked to? Benji would be my first answer, but their friendship was dangerous and they made the right decision to break it up. Besides, it shouldn’t ALL be on one person to prevent ALL of someone else’s misdeeds. That’s unhealthy and not fair to Benji. I also don’t believe Felix’s parents would have been understanding in the right way for Felix to seek help from them. Maybe he could have gone to a therapist..? I’m a little unsure about that.
But beyond Not Talking About it, there are several other factors beyond Lux’s control that brought him to where he is now, including: parental expectations, societal expectations, his own predatory instincts (preds ARE made to consume whether they like it or not), and the fact that he became addicted. (I could write a whole other post about this last factor. I imagine Felix is genetically predisposed to addiction. And addiction itself is a disease that is IMPOSSIBLE to overcome by yourself. After his first experience with fatal consuming, he was placed in an environment where his addiction was not only encouraged, but his continuation of it was EXPECTED. At this point, his body has changed to where he most likely will never be able to live without the fear of a relapse, even if he does manage to break his addiction— which of course would be a long and painful process.)
My apologies if I misinterpreted anything in this ask, but I ended up going off on my own tangent as well. I just have A Lot of thoughts about Felix and his downfall and will gladly ramble on ad nauseam about them 😂
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luvuwite · 3 years
Note
all, go
i hate you
1. What was the last present you gave?
uMMMM probably a commission i gave to pancake (archie/vivi)
 2. What was the last present you received? 
i dunno? if its a doodle then i got that a week back!
3. What animal best represents your personality? 
from the oOoOO spirit animal tests i took im a snek
4. What are you most afraid of? 
sometimes my own mind EYES EMOJI
5. Who is your favourite villain? 
HMMMMMMM probably like,, megamind i love him
6. Who is your favourite family member? (we all have one, admit it)
MY SISTERRRR
7. If you could name your own planet what would it be called? 
myanus
8. Stars or Moon? 
stars!!
9. Do you have/want kinds? 
if my other partner wants them, sure
10. What is your greatest life goal? 
making it this far
11. What is something you can’t live without? 
soup
12. What is a place you associate with your childhood? 
one of the parks near the store-area
13. How was your first kiss/how would you like your first kiss to go? 
i never kissed, so i wouldn’t know, but pls,,,ask for consent,,, and warn me if we gonna kiss or not,,,,,
14. What is some life advice you have acquired? 
ive learned a lil’ bit, but one of em probably has to be to just be like,, dont cry over something you know is fake, at least thats what i remember atm HAHA
15. Who in history has influenced you? 
bruh i dont like history idk
16. What is something strange that you think about often? 
h,,,hopless romantic noISIJEIORQ AHHAHA i like to think about weird scenarios in my head basically
17. Baths or Showers? 
showrr i get shy with myself in baths
18. Tea of Coffee? 
coffee
19. Alcohol or soft drink? 
alchohol bad brisk brisk brisk
20. Writing or typing? 
typing since its easier
21. What is you most favourite thing in your bedroom? 
my bed its sexy and comfy
22. Spontaneous holiday! Where are you going and with who? 
wait what UH I DONT KNOW probably just close close friends and family
23. Introverted or Extraverted? 
i have my moments with both
24. Describe yourself in two words. 
small and aggressive
31. What do you think of when you hear ‘portrait’? 
a picture or image of someone/something
32. Tell me about your partner/ideal partner? 
i mean no one is perfect yeah? i just want them to be honest with me and accept my AHEM struGGLES with relationships since im not the best partner
33. Tell me about your siblings, if you have any? 
my sister is what you call a “girly girl”, she likes disney movies, outdoors, being loud and running around, yknow just like any other child ever
35. What are you a big advocate for? 
my friends!!
36. If you’re comfortable to answer, what is the sickest you have ever been?
migraine + stomach bug + mental in trash +  stomach pains + lil appendix pain
37. When were you the most scared in your life? 
when i broke my arm
38. Ever had a paranormal experience? 
ACTUALLY YEAH i thought i heard someone yelling help outside my window and i peaked out and realized it was nothing and i figured i was just tired but i was still kinda freaked
39. Biggest celebrity crush at the moment? 
im not like other girls,,,,....
40. What is something happening in your life right now? 
uhhh just general anxiousness/paranoia(?) tbh
41. What is your favourite mythological creature? 
DRAAAAGOOOOOON
42. Marvel or DC?
dont know what those are
43. What object would be on your family’s banner? 
soup
44. Favourite flower? 
pink rose
45. One characteristic you like in a partner? 
s,,,support/reassurance pls
46. What planet/star would you travel to if it were possible? 
i wanna,,,, actually i dont know i think i would just enjoy floating around in general 
47. What is your favourite meal… ever? 
soup
48. First time…. doing anything. Describe your first time doing something? 
first time i drew was twiggit sperkl and that was the most proudest i ever felt
49. Who is your favourite superhero? 
bRUHHH I DUNNO I DONT WATCH THAT STUF
50. What is your favourite poem? Recite it?
i dont read
51. What is an exercise you despise doing. 
burpees
52. Secret talent? 
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
fite
53. Current song on replay replay replay? 
[x]
55. If you weren’t in your current occupation what would you be doing? 
sleeping probably
56. What is the first thing you notice about the person you fancy?
,,y,yo they kinda,,,, scrumptious,,, AHUIWRWQI 
57. If you had one wish that would definitely come true, what would it be? 
yes
58. If you could time travel, when and where would you visit? 
i would go to future bc i wanna see what i look like
59. What is your lucky number? 
5
60. If you adopt a pet what would it be and what would you name it? 
a cat!! and i actually am planning a name and calling them clementine!! 
61. Do you believe in fate/everything happens for a reason?
i believe your fate is decided by ur own actions/words
 62. What is your favourite thing about your personality? 
im not too hard to get along with,, i hope
63. What is your favourite thing about your appearance? 
uhhhhhhhhhhhhh
64. What is your favourite clothing store? 
primark bc everything is like 2 bucks
65. What is your favourite online store? 
i dont do online shopping too much
66. Use one word to describe your most favourite person? 
observant 
67. How do you usually have your hair?
down with a clip, then ponytail next day
 68. What was your favourite subject in high school? 
math
69. What makes you feel empowered? 
power over something/someone(as a joke/in games, not in a bad way)
70. What motivates you to do something? 
a prize at the end
71. What advice would you give someone who is going through a rough time? 
it gets worse before it gets better, and in the worse ill be there for you so you dont have to go through this alone
72. Ideal date? 
wendys!!! sweater weather!!! cuddle!!! left 4 dead!!! comfy clothes!!!
73. What is the best date night movie? 
i am not that attractive to be taken out on a date
74. What is something you are currently looking forward to? 
nothing atm tbh im just here bc i have to beIEOJRWIOE
75. Tell me a funny joke? 
oo wa oh wa ooh
76. Do you like musicals? If so, what’s your favourite? 
never listened to one actually
77. What is your favourite song currently? 
sweater weather. always.
78. What song never fails to make you dance? 
POP EYED JOEEEEE IVE BEEN LIVING???? LONG TIME YOOO
79. What is your favourite “classic?”
gnomeo and juliet
 80. What is the best advice you have ever been given? 
obese paragraph and comfort doodles? lets go
81. Where did you ancestors come from? 
puerto rico
82. What have you learned from your parents/guardians? 
be tough nugget and dont take shit seriously till you have to
83. What is a phrase you heard a lot growing up? 
dont step on the crack or youll break ur mothers back
84. Do you believe in magic? 
nnno
85. What reminds you of your best friend? 
overwatch
86. What are you passionate about? 
dance dance dance
87. Tell me a story from middle school? 
one time
the end
88. Who was your favourite teacher and why?
i love my bio teacher rn bro shes such a sweetheart
 89. Can you roll your tongue? 
yes
90. What made you pursue what you are studying? (including school subjects) 
my little pony
91. Where would you like to travel to? 
japan for those toys gimme gimme
92. What is something on your bucket-list? 
i wanna see coral reef
93. What is home to you? 
place that brings feeling of comfort/security
94. What do you do in your free time? 
draw
95. If you could buy anything right now, what would it be? 
food
96. If you could see anyone, living or dead, right now, who would it be? 
probs one of my online friends
97. If you could choose, what would your last meal be? 
soup dumplings brisk and rice
98. How would you like to die? 
happy
99. List five of your favourite pieces of art (paintings, books, songs etc) 
ruby eyes / sweater weather / ponyo / wall-e / idk
100. What would you change about this world?
global warming SHOOO U FAT
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