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#and in a selfish way I’m worried I’ve just made myself come off as guilt trippy and whatever to my friends playing directly into my ex’s
seilon · 9 months
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text them shit about ur ex then, ruin his rep right back
just talked to one of my friends on the phone for a while and dw they already know everything I have to say more or less about him it’s just. I can’t force them to cut contact with him or anything especially without sounding like exactly what he makes me out to be (manipulative, controlling, whatever) so. as much as my friend has reassured me in a lot of ways I’m still sort of stuck at an impasse when it comes to Him
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obxsprincess · 2 months
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[TW- Fighting and arguing i gues]
So i am 18 and still live with my parents and it's a pain sometimes because my mother screamed at me and even made me cry just because I wanted to go out for ice cream alone with my cousin and didn't want to take my sister that is 4 years younger then us with me. According to her I have am crazy and according to my father I'm psycho and need help I genuinly feel like they love her more then me and when i tolld them this she only yelld more at me and calld me selfish And my mom has been trying to guilt Trip me into taking her with us for 4 days now and today when i gave in she just fucking yelld at me like how can i make her happy?! Can i even make her happy?! I just don't understand why she Shows me so much love sometimes and the next second Acts like she hates me it hurts so much And i really just want to make her proud because i feel like i have to earn her love you know and i swear i am trying so hard and when i tell her i need a break or that i am tired she just tells me that she does way more then i do and that i don't have any reasons to be tired or Burnd out.
Sorry for the little dump i just didn't know who to tell this and i needed to get it of my chest i don't expect an answer by the way and i am sorry for taking away your time
first and foremost you are completely valid for not wanting to bring your little sister bby!!! I have a younger sister and tho I love her to the moon and back, its more babysitting than anything, which is just hard to commit to a lot of the times — and it was your time with your cousin so 100% your call to make!! im always worried I come off as selfish but I hope its comforting to know I truly understand how fucked up conditional love is, and your so so fucking strong for pushing through my love 💞💗 in my experience I was always convinced it was my fault. when I fit his mold/or complied to how I was treated instead of standing up for myself I was adored, but that at any moment it could be taken away and flipped right infront of my face, it’s truly so mentally exhausting and from parents nonetheless, we deserve better (for me it was my dad) but ever since moving out I’ve realized how wrong it is, and bby love isn’t earned <3 a parents duty is to give love unconditionally always, and if she doesn’t fill her role that is NEVER your fault, no matter how much she may make you feel like it’s your job to ‘gain’ her approval or acceptance its not — shes your mother and in such her duty to love your without limits, never blame yourself beautiful for her under comings. despite how she treats or what she ever tells you, bby you are enough and always have been. and you are so loved, if not always by her (sometimes parents just don’t express love in the right ways too, this dosent make your hurt any less valid though <3) by your little sister that looks up to your every day for pushing through — by the person who dosent say it but your the reason THEIR pushing through, whether its your closest friend or a distant mutual that admires your strength from afar <3 I just wish someone would have told me that love isn’t earned, and your doing amazing my love i know how truly fucking hard it is, you deserve the world NEVER ever say sorry for coming in my inbox to just let go for a few minutes dear, I can relate so much to your struggle and I hate how often being treated like this is downplayed. im just a collage girl on the internet but I’m always here to listen 💗
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lubdubsworld · 3 years
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物の哀れ ( ‘the sadness of things’.)
Characters : Alpha! Jungkook x Omega ! OC.
Genre : Arranged Marriage / Temporary contractual Marriage.
Warnings : Non- Con/ Extremely Dubious Consent . High functioning alcoholism. Genre related consent issues. Implied suicidal thoughts.
Summary : A recently widowed Jungkook agrees to a contract marriage to keep his company afloat. His grief overwhelms him and it is hard to look at his new wife as anything other than an intruder .
[  Author’s Note :  物の哀れ ~ Mono no aware can be translated as ‘the sadness of things’. It comes from the words 物 (mono – thing) and 哀れ (aware – poignancy or pathos). The ‘sadness’ in question comes from an awareness of the transience of things, as taught by Zen Buddhism. When we view something exceptionally beautiful, we might feel sad because we know it won’t stay so beautiful forever – but appreciation only heightens the pleasure we take in the beautiful thing in that moment. ]
Chapter 1 Chapter 2
Chapter 3
“Yoongi left a bunch of painkillers for you. He said you can take up to three per day.” Jin said calmly , carefully slipping the sleeves of my t shirt over my wrist as i held my arms out for him. He slipped the shirt over my head gently but his arms hit my shoulders, jostling me.   I swallowed the whimper of pain that shot through me at the movement. Mina was now awake, happily wiggling around on her rocker. 
It was a little past seven in the evening and Jungkook wasn’t due to arrive for another hour . 
“I could sleep on a bed of rusty nails right now. I’m so tired and i don’t know why. “ I whispered, staying still as he carefully drew the fabric down over my ribs, before stepping back. 
“I’ll sleep in the nursery with her. You should take the bed. You’re in no shape to be up and taking care of her when she wakes up. Jungkook’s asked me to stay here during the day because I’m not going to be performing for a couple months anyway and I’ve been losing my mind, rattling around that huge ass mansion all by myself. ” 
The phone rang, startling both of us. 
I groaned before moving to get up but Jin oppa held a hand up.
“Stay in bed. I’ll go see who it is.” 
I watched him disappear out of the room, settling back against the pillows and reaching for the ice pack in the small cooler by the bed. I had to ice my ribs every hour or so and while it didn’t seem to be helping much, I definitely appreciated the temporary numbness it offered. 
Jungkook’s guilt had driven a new wedge between us and he hadn’t so much as looked at me in three days. 
I wasn’t sure entirely if this was a good or bad thing. The fact that he seemed to be considering that he had to get his emotions under control to stop hurting the people around him was a welcome change. But the idea of going back to being ignored and treated like furniture , wasn’t really all that appealing. 
“Jungkook’s parents are on the way.” Jin’s voice broke through my reverie and i jumped. 
I resisted the urge to sob out loud . 
Mr and Mrs. Jeon were on the opposite side of the grief spectrum and just as annoying. 
Where Sooah’s parents were intent on making Jungkook remember their daughter as often as possible, Jungkook’s parents were intent on making him forget her. 
The only thing the two of them had in common was a burning hatred for me. 
Jungkook’s parents had wanted him to quit the company and sell it when it went into loss but Jungkook had categorically refused because that would result in all of his employees getting laid off, and back then Jungkook had been nothing if not ridiculously compassionate. Jungkook’s parents firmly believed that if it hadn’t been for me, their son would be back in Busan, letting them raise their granddaughter. 
“Great, that’s great. Did you tell them their son is not around?” I grimaced. I’d only met them three times in total and the last time was in the hospital two months ago when Jungkook had crashed in the middle of a board meeting, weeks of starving and dehydration catching up to him. It hadn’t been a pleasant experience, getting cursed out in front of the doctors and nurses and it probably won’t be any fun in the privacy of my home either. 
Jin gave me a sympathetic smile. 
“He’s already told them he’s on the way. I’m going to take Mina out on a walk. Give you guys some privacy. Shoot me a text when they leave.” he said gently. 
“Can’t I come with?” I begged and he laughed. 
“That would be a bad idea, even if it weren’t for the cracked rib. Just relax. Smile and nod and let them spew whatever nonsense they want and then they’ll leave. ” 
I opened my mouth to tell him how many flaws there were in his plan when the doorbell rang. 
“And that’s my cue. Text me, yeah?” Jin moved to pick Mina up from the rocker before reaching for the baby carrier on the table. 
I debated the pros and cons of staying in bed and finally decided against it, gently throwing my legs off the edge and raising myself up to a sitting position. I heard vague voices by the front door, Jin’s sweet tones mingling with Jungkook’s slightly gruffer ones. 
I heard the door close and the stillness of the apartment was as oppressing as ever. I could hear him quite clearly though. The clink of the keys as they hit the bowl, the small click of the door as he locked it. 
i could imagine him, exhausted from the day’s work, briefcase held in one hand while the other tugged on the knot of his tie. 
I imagined for a second, what it must have been like for him with Sooah. She was a bright , incredibly cheerful person. Everyone kind of faded into the background when she was around. Sooah had always been the first to smile at a stranger, the first to laugh even if the joke wasn’t funny. The first one to stand up to help someone in need. 
I swallowed, clutching the sheets to ground myself. 
I guessed that she must’ve always rushed to greet him at the door. I could imagine him wrapping both arms around her waist, drawing her into a hug or even a kiss. 
 How was your day, Kookie?  (I’d heard her call him that, once when they had been at my father’s house for a charity dinner. )
I wondered if perhaps the very sight of her would have taken away all of the day’s exhaustion from him. Perhaps, he would forget all the ways his company had been failing back then at the sight of her beautiful laughing face. Perhaps losing his company hadn’t been as terrifying as losing his job.  
And perhaps once he lost her, he just couldn’t bear the thought of losing his life’s work too. And so he’d agreed to meet my father’s demands. 
My fingers began trembling a bit .
I could imagine her moving around the house, pregnant and glowing, laughing as he nuzzled into the curve of her belly. Had he perhaps pressed his lips to her skin, whispered sweet endearments to his daughter through the fabric of his wife’s clothes? Had he perhaps loved Mina, deeply? WAs it just his grief that made it hard to be near his wife. Or was it perhaps me? Me holding the baby that should have been in his beautiful wife’s arms. 
The wife he had been so madly, deeply in love with. 
Love, I thought vacantly.
It wasn’t something I had ever felt, for anyone until I’d began caring for Mina.
But what Jungkook had with his wife was something different wasn’t it? 
The love a man had for a woman. Laced with desire, longing and passion. A love that made you put their happiness over your own.  
Love like that had never been in the cards for me. 
Ever
I was an Omega. Rare and hated and known for being selfish and greedy. People didn’t love my kind. They avoided me. They always assumed I would take advantage of them. My peers growing up had treated me with so much contempt. 
 The girls would whisper how I was trying to seduce their boyfriends. The boys would call me a tease, even when I stayed far away and did nothing to attract their attention. I’d gotten used to it. It didn’t bother me. it was the way of the world for me. Ad it wasn’t like I could honestly deny some of it. 
I looked at handsome alphas and wanted them. I wanted to be held and cherished. To be bought pretty things and cared for. It had taken decades for me to beat that part of mine into submission. To remind myself that if I ever let that part of me out, it would destroy me. 
But love? Being in love with someone? 
I didn’t know what that could have been like for Jungkook. 
Or maybe I had but I couldn’t recognize it because I’d never received it myself. Whatever the cause, it was for me, a fairytale. It was hard to imagine people loving each other so much, to the extent that they would die for each other. ( Jungkook’s words still hung in the back of my mind : that he had wanted to follow her even in death ) 
Jungkook was right.
I could never know what his loss was like. 
Because I would never know what he had lost. 
It felt a little like being dipped in an ice cold lake in the middle of winter. My skin broke out in shivers, hair standing on end and I felt my throat go dry so swiftly. I’d never wanted to run away so much. I wrapped a hand sound myself, scooting back on the bed again. I reached for the blanket, wanting to pull it over my head and curl into a ball. 
Shut out the world and all the things that didn’t make sense. 
“Are you alright?” Jungkook’s voice broke through the haze in my head and I swallowed. He had an alpha’s voice and my body responded even if my mind resisted. It didn’t happen all the time. Jungkook couldn’t control me. But sometimes when I was feeling vulnerable, instincts took over . I was already dropping the blanket and smiling softly.
“Mina’s out for a walk.” I croaked out, surprised at how awful my voice sounded. 
I felt the press of something against my fingers and I blinked, staring at the glass of water Jungkook was pressing into my hand.
“Don’t worry, I called them and told them not to come over.” He said quietly , watching me drink with still trembling fingers. 
I swallowed and stared at him. 
“I... Thank you. “ I said fervently, feeling a few knots come undone in my gut. I couldn’t really stand up to Jungkook’s parents the way I did with Sooah’s parents. Because Jungkook loved them deeply and hurting them would be the same as hurting him. 
“There’s a party in a couple of days. It’s my birthday. I’m turning 34.  Yugyeom’s organizing the whole thing, so I’m going to hire a babysitter for Mina, because Jin hyung will be there too and you need help caring for her anyway. You can stay home and rest. ” he said . 
I scoffed. 
“I’m going to come with you.” I said firmly. 
Jungkook frowned. 
“What?” 
I glared at him. 
“I’m not letting you go to a party organized by your shit for brains friend, Jungkook. You’ll probably end up getting drunk out of your mind and killing someone and I’m not going to hang around to clean that up. I’m coming to that party and I’m making sure you don’t have more than one drink.  “
Jungkook’s frown deepened into a scowl. 
Did you ever look at your wife , like this? With so much loathing? I thought stupidly. Or did she only ever get to see the sweet and wonderful side of you? Did she ever annoy you the way i seem to every second of the damn day ? Did you hate certain things about her too? Or was she so perfect that you could only feel love ? 
“ I can take care of myself. Its my birthday , I can do whatever the fuck I want.“ He snapped. 
I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. 
“Not unless you’re a five year old kid in the sandpit, which you’re not. You’re an adult and when you make stupid decisions as an adult, very real people end up paying for it. You’re old enough to know this Jungkook and for once, just listen to me. You can drink, fine. But I’m going to be there and if I see that you’re getting drunk, I’m going to bring you home. You either agree or I’m going to call Yoongi oppa .” 
That made him pause. 
“Fine. Fuck you.” He snapped, turning on his heel and stalking out of the room. A few seconds later I heard the door to the shower slam shut.  
 I wanted to follow him and shake some sense into him but before I could decide if it was worth jostling my body, when another sharp pain lanced through my ribs.
Oh great. 
I took deep breaths the way Yoongi had taught me. Apparently, pneumonia was a thing that could happen, so i had to breath carefully to reduce the risk of that happening. 
The birthday party organized by Yugyeom was going to be a whole entire migraine inducing disaster. I could already feel the headache come on. It still amazed me that Jungkook was friends with him and his cronies. 
Yugyeom and his friends were the typical; brain dead alphas who thought themselves superior to all other ranks. Even worse, they viewed omegas as objects: fucktoys to be more precise and I bristled when i remembered the way he had always stared at me. 
Well, if he stepped anywhere near me, I would kick him in the teeth. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When Jungkook’s mother turned up at home the next day, I wasn’t entirely surprised. I wasn’t surprised but it didn’t make things any more pleasant. 
“We’re willing to take Mina for a couple of days if you would both need time to prepare for the party. This is the first big event Jungkook’s holding after Sooah’s passing and we want it to be perfect. As his wife, i hope you’ll do your part.” 
Mrs Jeon’s pinched face did nothing for my already frayed temper. 
“There’s not much i can do with a cracked rib, mother.” I said politely. It stung, having to call this bitter, cruel woman mother but then, such was life. It was late afternoon and Jungkook was probably sitting in the comfort of his air conditioned office, being flattered and doted on by his smitten secretary while I sat here entertaining his vicious mother. 
“Nonsense, you’ve probably just scratched it. I know how you omegas like to exaggerate. “ she waved off my injury easily. “ There are so many details that need to be decided on and its unfair to drop all of those responsibilities on poor yugyeom’s head. Why don’t you go with him and help out a bit?” 
The idea of going anywhere with Kim Yugeom was easily the most repugnant thing to me. 
“I’m sure he knows Jungkook much better than I do. If i interfered, I’d only be getting in his way.” I said politely. 
Mrs. Jeon hummed.
“Well, its good that he’s agreed to the party at least. That woman never let him meet with Yugyeom or his friends when she was around.”
That woman being Jungkook’s late wife. 
I felt a sudden fondness for her. Clearly she had also recognized Yugyeom for the absolute pig that he was and kept her husband away from his rotten influence . But unlike with her, Jungkook didn’t actually care about me. So I had no way of stopping him from meeting the idiots. Yugyeom’s family was rich and reputed and it was clear that the Jeons wanted the friendship and the connection. Why else would they keep pushing for it so much?
“Is there any particular reason you’re here, mother?” I said finally, after hearing her babble on and on about caterers and invitations and what not. 
“I was hoping to meet Mina...why isn’t she here?” 
“I’m not able to care for her well, what with the rib. The doctor has advised me to rest so Jin oppa takes care of her during the day. Jungkook picks her back up on his way back from office. I can send her over to your place with him this weekend.” 
“That would be fine i suppose. Have you spoken to the decorators about changing the portraits put up in the house?”
I blinked.
“Sorry?”
“The penthouse, we’ve got it back now right? why don’t you move there. We have a cook and a housekeeper .”]
“this is closer to Jungkook’s office.” I had no idea where the penthouse was and could only hope it was farther way. 
Mrs. Jeon frowned. 
“This apartment is too small. Not to mention, you still have Sooah’s photos everywhere in this place. Surely that’s not healthy. Get rid of them and put up pictures of you and Jungkook.” 
Jungkook’s parents didn’t know that our marriage had an expiry date. i wasn’t sure if this was a good or bad thing. But they saw me as nothing more than a way to get rid of Sooah from the deepest recesses of Jungkook’s mind. 
“I’m sure, with time...Jungkook can make that decision by himself. When he’s ready for it.” I said gently, beginning the fresh throb of pain near my temple. 
“Nonsense, Heejin. Men won’t ever move on until you force them. Have you considered getting  pregnant?” 
I jumped about a foot into the air.
“I...what.” I croaked out. 
“You need a child too. He mated you. He owes you that. I’m going to tell him that he better do his duty by you.” She said firmly. 
“Please don’t.” I shouted, stunned out of my mind. Was this woman even sane?
“Why not?” She frowned looking at me like i was the one being unreasonable. 
 Why not? Because its barely been four months since he lost his wife of seven years to childbirth. Surely, you don’t think the remedy to that is to have him go through it all over again. 
 “ Mina is still small, mother. I’m sure we can wait a while. Maybe after she’s one or two.” 
 Jungkook would probably move on by then. Of course he would. Grief was overwhelming but it was also finite. It did get smaller over time. Easier to cope with. Jungkook would eventually be able to navigate his life around his grief. He would learn to make new connections and who was to say one of those wouldn’t be a compatible match? 
So two years from now, there was no reason Jungkook shouldn’t meet another lovely woman, a beta maybe and eventually expand his family. Of course i would be nowhere in the picture at the time. But that was fine. 
I remembered something I’d read somewhere, a while back. 
 If two people are like ships that pass in the night, they meet by chance for a short time , then do not see each other ever again. 
Like ships passing by each other in the night,  I reminded myself. That's what Jungkook and I were. 
“Well, if you think that’s wise.... fine. But now that Jungkook’s doing well, why don’t you entertain people more often? You haven’t had a dinner party here yet, have you?”
And so it went on, over an over for a whole two hours until I was wrung out from sheer exhaustion, my head throbbing and nails having dug half moon indents into my palms from fisting my hands too hard. 
By the time i finally closed the door on her face, I couldn’t help but sag against the door, sinking to the floor in a heap, cracked rib be damned. 
I glanced up at the solo portrait on the wall. The one my mother in law had wanted gone. 
“She must’ve really hated you, huh?” I said casually pulling myself up to my feet and moving to the dining space to stare at her face more closely. 
She was dressed in her wedding gown, a fitted mermaid dress with lace and satin detailing. She had a bouquet of white lilies in one hand, elbows bent and the blooms resting on her shoulder while her other hand curved around her slender waist. 
Beautiful was an understatement, I thought vacantly. 
“ You look like you didn’t put up with people’s bullshit. That’s cool I guess.” I smiled a little. “ You know in another world, we may have been friends.” 
I bit my lips.
“Yugyeom was shitty to you too huh? He seems the type. i’m glad you kept Jungkook away from him. I wish you’d somehow help get him away again. He doesn’t listen to me. Thinks I’m trying to control him or something. ”
It was ridiculous. What was i doing.. Why was i talking to a framed picture on the wall. God.
But now that I’d started, I couldn’t quite stop.
“About what happened with Jungkook... I don’t want you to think i was seducing him or anything. And when i said that I hated him calling your name when we... well you know why i said it right? It wasn’t anything personal...i was just pissed. I don’t enjoy the sex by the way... I don’t think he does either but he’s an alpha and you know how it is…they need that release or they kind of lose their mind .. So trust me we both hate the principle of it.... but at least he cums and well I don’t. He’s never made me cum. That should say something about how we feel about each other.......”
“Uh.. Should I come back later?” The voice near the doorway was so unexpected my heart jumped right to my throat and I screamed, stumbling a bit to the side.
Min Yoongi stood framed by the door, one hand wrapped around a bouquet of flowers and the other clutching his bag and stethoscope. He still had his white coat on over his shirt and slacks, hair mussed like he’d run his finger through it.
It took me a second to remember that Yoongi had a key to the house.
Another second to remember exactly what I’d been doing when he came inside.
Good God.
Had he heard the part where I’d talked about Jungkook not making me cum? Surely not? Oh Please no. 
“Jungkook told me to check on you. That you couldn’t sleep last night? Are you in a lot of pain?” 
Jungkook and I had shared the bed in his room last night and I had apparently, tossed and turned and whimpered through the night in pain. Or so Jungkook claimed. 
“Uh... I’m not sure. He said so... so..” 
“you guys sleep together right?” Yoongi asked casually, taking his coat off. I stared at the way the material of the shirt strained over his shoulders, my throat just a little dry. 
Yoongi smelled so ridiculously good. He was a doctor and he was so handsome and kind to me. The attraction would have been there even if i had been a beta but as an omega, the urge to just fling myself at him and beg him to make me his, it was kind of horrifying. 
Tamping down that part of me, I gave him a casual shrug, heart still pounding. 
“Yeah. There’s just two bedrooms here and one is Mina’s nursery. So ...” I finished awkwardly, watching him move around and place his bag on the table before unwinding the stethoscope, placing it around his collar. 
He gave me a small smile. 
“I’ll just take a quick look and check how your breathing sounds. that okay?” He asked gently. 
“Oh... sure. You need me to take my shirt off?” I asked curiously. 
He gave me a quick little smirk. 
“Not for medical reasons no.” He winked. 
I felt blood rush to my face along with guilt. What was I doing? This was Jungkook’s best friend!! His hyung. Someone he trusted and I was his....
His what? 
Nothing. I was Jungkook’s nothing. When was the last time someone had flirted with me . Someone who wasn’t a grade A creep. 
Yoongi moved closer, sitting down on the kitchen stool and beckoned me to come stand between his thighs. i moved, achingly aware of how much more potent his scent was up close. He looked up at me through sooty black lashes, a small smirk on his lips, feline eyes warm and open . 
“Put your hands on my shoulders, yeah?” He prompted. 
I hesitated, fingers shaking just a little before reaching out to rest on this shirt. I kept the touch feather light , the softness of his shirt the only thing I could feel.
He hummed and bending  down to lightly tug the hem of my shirt out of the waistline of my jeans. I bit my lips to stop myself from squirming. 
He glanced up , eyes meeting mine and holding my gaze. 
“You good?” 
“Uhuhbuh.” I stuttered and he grinned wider, pulling the fabric up to the curve of my breasts. He lightly ran his finger tips over the bruised skin , humming thoughtfully .
“You’ll be fine in a few weeks. Hang on.” He pulled back, plugging the steth in his hear before holding the other end up to my chest. He pressed it against my skin, just before the underwire of my bra and it was unexpectedly cold .
I jumped, fingers curling on his shoulder and squeezing down. 
“Hey.. what’s wrong?” Yoongi whispered, hands reaching for my waist, gently holding me steady and I flushed. He looked genuinely worried , lips turned down and brows furrowed and i felt absolutely stupid. 
“Sorry. Sorry.... It’s nothing.. i just.. it’s a little cold.” I laughed nervously and his gaze softened. 
One hand still curved around my waist, he brought the diaphragm up to his mouth, holding my gaze as he gently breathed warm air all over it. 
My throat went instantly dry and i had to swallow. He pressed it against my chest again and this time it was so much warmer. .
“Better?” He prompted and i nodded, guilt and discomfort churning in my stomach. What was i doing? I had no business indulging him. i had no business indulging any man. Ever.
 I looked away, pulling my hands up off his shoulder, pushing his hand off my hip as well . He didn’t say anything his shoulders stiffened at the subtle rejection. 
A mantle of awkward tension settled over us, a small thundercloud of regret and that threatened to rain misery all over us. I wanted to kick myself.  He was older than Jungkook by four years. Thirty eight years old. 
Did he have a girlfriend? Oh god, what if he was martried?
Nausea threatened. 
“Your breathing sounds fine. Are you practicing those breathing exercises , I taught you?” He asked casually and I nodded . I couldn’t trust myself to speak. 
“Hey...” He said gently and I flinched. 
“I’m sorry.” I blurted out. “ I didn’t mean to lead you on or tease you in any way and I’m sorry if i came on to you ...”
“What?! Heejin, stop. That’s bullshit. You never did any such thing. This was all me.” He said firmly. 
I stared at him.
“I know you’re married but... your marriage, its going to end right? Eventually.” 
I made to step back but he grabbed my waist again, this time a few inches over my jean and his fingers on the bare skin of my midriff made me want to melt. He had long slender fingers, a surgeons hands, and the press of it on my skin felt so foreign and gentle and different and good. 
“We don’t have to do anything. I just... I thought we could get to know each other. Over coffee or dinner.”
I wanted to sob at the unfairness of it all.
Because Yoongi was beautiful and handsome and so good and so much more than I could ever even dream of,  but he was and would always be so intricately woven with Jungkook and with Jungkook’s life. And I couldn’t imagine anything more messy than sticking around and watching Jungkook and his daughter forget me and move on.
“It’s.... probably a terrible idea. “ I said roughly, shaking my head. “ Its the kind of idea that would never end well.” 
“Are you sure? Because unlike Jungkook, i could probably make you cum.” He winked and I felt my face flame red. 
“Oh God...” I hissed, stumbling back. This time he let me move away, merely chuckling and reaching for his coat and bag . 
“I won’t bother you again. But the offer’s always open, yeah?” He smiled again. “ You need me to send over more pain meds?”
I shook my head mutely, begging him to just leave already. 
He nodded and held his hand up in a casual wave before walking out of the door. I collapsed on the stool and dropped my head into my arms , groaning. 
What had i gotten myself into. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I didn’t actually see Jungkook for a couple of days. The meds knocked me out and he worked overtime, only arriving after I’d slept off and leaving before i woke up. Jin brought Mina around everyday and there was something absolutely exhilarating about watching her clutch at her little teething toys and rattles, gummy smile peeking out every few minutes. 
On a whim, i told Jin what had happened with Yoongi and much to my surprise he actually laughed. 
“About time . He’s been pining for what three years now?” 
I gaped at him, completely thrown.
“I..he.. what.” I couldn’t quite wrap my mind around what I had heard. 
“He saw you at that art exhibition you put up in the Hyatt . By the way, don’t you paint anymore?”
I flushed. 
I had no proper response to that. What could i say? That my painting had just been yet another way to control me, only appreciated by father when he could use it to make more money. And that part of my marriage contract included that I wouldn’t paint or make any money off my art for the duration that I stayed with Jungkook. 
It was just yet another way my father reminded me that he controlled him. I didn’t fight him because he would win anyway. And the only thing he loved more than controlling people was winning battles that were always rigged in his favor. i wouldn’t give him that satisfaction. I would soldier through this awful marriage and at the end of it , i would disappear without a trace. 
I shook my head vaguely and Jin hummed. 
“Yoongi doesn’t understand art but he hung around the entire nine hours , morning to night . Three whole days of him just pretending to look at the artwork while secretly making moon eyes at you.”
I could only stare in sheer disbelief. 
“i... i never knew.” 
“How could you? Yoongi’s idea of courting is pretending he doesn’t exist and fading into the background. “ Jin rolled his eyes. “ He tried approaching your father to officially court you but your old man shut that down rather brutally.” 
I swallowed . 
“I... I’m sorry.” i said feeling foolish. Three years...what? I couldn’t think beyond the shock of the information. 
“Does Jungkook know?” I asked , scared. 
Jin shook his head.
“Like I said Yoongi never made it known . He was afraid it would make life difficult for you. He didn’t want any rumors around because everyone knew your father was looking to offer you to someone rich and young. Yoongi was what , fifteen years older? That’s quite a difference.”
“Thirty eight isn’t old.” I said sharply and Jin’s brow went up. 
“Oh?” He questioned teasingly and I flushed. 
“Jungkook is eleven years older. What’s another four more years?” I shrugged.
“You’re interested then.” Jin said thoughtfully. I recoiled, shaking my head quickly.
“I...what? No. No I’m not. “ 
“Why not? If it isn’t the age, then there’s no reason  to say no. Yoongi is handsome , settled and a great guy all around and besides,  your time with Jungkook is finite right?” 
“I... I won’t cheat on him.” I said firmly. “ i can’t... I... besides, Jungkook and I... we’re... we have sex.” My ears turned red, “ I can’t do that with two guys... I’m not like that. “ 
Jin nodded.
“Its alright.. Heejinah ...I’m sorry if i pressured you or anything. You don’t have to do anything. I know you have a lot on your plate right now. Yoongi probably got carried away . More than likely he’s going to panic and avoid you for a year just to recover.” He laughed and I smiled reluctantly. 
“He’s nice I don’t want to hurt him. “ I said softly. 
“ Sometimes that’s just inevitable . People get hurt no matter what we choose.” Jin gave me a sad little smile. “ Jungkook is just as nice a gy as Yoongi. If not better. He’s just...not in the right headspace to show that side of himself to you. I wish you’d known him before Sooah. He used to be this...playful and funny kid. We all went out of our way to keep him safe. Sooah was just as amazing. Usually , we try to find flaws in people our friends  date right? Well trust me Sooah was hard to dislike .” He laughed, eyes misting over as his gaze landed on her  portrait over the mantle. 
I followed his gaze and swallowed. 
“Do you think Jungkook will ever get over her?” I asked simply. 
Jin hesitated. 
“Someday? Probably yes. But it won’t be easy. He’s ... He feels things deeply. He always has. He loved her deeply, he cared for her deeply and so its only obvious that he’s going to feel the loss of her presence very deeply too.” 
I nodded. 
“Its his birthday tomorrow.” I said softly. “ I have a gift for him. Well its not a gift from me, but a gift nonetheless.  But I’m not sure if I should give it to him.” 
Jin gave me a surprised look. 
“What do you mean?” 
I smiled bitterly.
“Just that sometimes fate can be very cruel when it chooses its players. I’m forever wondering if he would be better off or worse without me in the picture and I just can’t decide.” 
“Different. He would just be different.” Jin said calmly. 
There was nothing else i could say to that. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yugyeom had rented out the rooftop restaurant in one of the poshest Hotels in Seoul and although the party was a pool party, I hadn’t bothered dressing for it. I wore a plain sequined top and burgundy skirt that fanned out around me knees. 
The place was teeming with people his age , friends acquaintances and business partners. The women had changed into bright , skimpy bikinis and lounged about in the brightly lit pool tossing a ball around .
The older people were being hosted by the Jeons on the lower level of the restaurant in a posh ballroom. Jungkook and i would have to visit them later but for now I was content sipping a mocktail, leaning against the bar while Hoseok and Lisa flanked me on either side, pointing out who was sleeping with who. 
Jungkook was in the pool with Yugyeom and Jimin and it was impossible to tear my eyes away from him. He looked happy almost, laughing and shaking water out of his hair as he moved around with the strength and agility of an Olympic athlete. Yoongi was in the pool as well and on the opposite team with Jin and Namjoon....and it was increasingly obvious that the half a dozen bikini clad women were there simply for an excuse to touch the handsome alphas as they worked up a sweat. 
“Jungkook is such a competitive bastard.” Hoseok laughed. “But I don’t know what’s gotten into Yoongi today. i can’t believe he’s in the pool. “
“Of his own volition. “ Lisa added. “ usually someone has to strip him and toss him in. 
Yoongi kept glancing at me every few minutes. It was impossible to miss. It was also impossible to miss that at least three of the six women in the pool were trying to get into his pants. 
I sighed and turned back to the bartender asking for a refill. when i turned back around, Jungkook and Yugyeom were climbing out of the pool and Jin was moving to the opposite side to take their place with Jimin. 
“Jungkook and i are going to go get a drink. Anything for you , beautiful?” Yugyeom reached out to touch me and I almost fell in my haste to get away from him. 
“Keep your hands off me.” I snapped . Jungkook frowned. 
“No need to be rude, Heejin , he was just being polite.” He said softly and i smelt the alcohol on his breath.
“Don’t drink too much Jungkook.”
“Oh come on, beautiful., Its his birthday let him live a little...” Yugyeom laughed and I glared at him.
“I’d rather have him live longer “ I snapped. “ And that can’t happen if you keep trying to give him alcohol poisoning.” 
Yugyeom rolled his eyes. 
“Is she always this dramatic, Jungkook-ah.” Yugyeom laughed. Jungkook didn’t laugh but he gave me a look that said, ‘ please don’t make a scene’ and I bit my lips. 
I didn’t want to ruin his night. He looked ....so close to a normal person tonight and whether I liked it or not Yugyeom had contributed to that. The music was apparently Jungkook’s favorites only, the pool because he loved volleyball in the water and the buffet had all his favorite foods. Yugyeom had gone out of his way to make the party perfect and i suddenly felt like the troll stomping on Jungkook’s happiness. 
Swallowing my own instinct to drag my husband away from the alpha who had his arms around him, I turned away and walked off to the pool. Yoongi’s face lit up when he saw me.
“Hey there, angel. Here to watch me kick some ass? “ He cupped his hands in the water, before tossing a handful of water at me. I blinked in surprise, laughing a little. 
“I’m just here to cheer Jin oppa. “ I said impishly, moving over to the lounge chair near his side of the pool. Yoongi’s pout was adorable and I couldn’t help but laugh. 
Maybe I could stop worrying about Jungkook for a while. Yugyeom wasn’t dangerous. Even if he got a little drunk, I was still here. So were all of our friends. 
It would be fine. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
it wasn’t fine. 
An hour later, I found Jungkook in a room filled with cigarette smoke and light music, yugeyom and his friends scattered around the place with a few beautiful women lounging about on their laps. 
“You said one drink Yugyeom...he’s completely out of his mind.” I said shrilly staring at where Jungkook sat on the couch , shirtless and laughing as some girl in a bikini ran her fingers up and down his arm. She had one leg draped over his thigh.  I felt sick at the very sight of it. 
its because he’s drunk ,  I told myself.  He’s drunk and can’t consent, that’s why you feel sick, nothing else.  
Yugyeom gave me an easy smile. 
“Guy just wants to have some fun. Reina’s a friend of mine. She’ll take good care of him don’t worry. She’s the birthday gift i got him. “ He leered. 
I resisted the urge to punch him in the face. 
Glaring at him, 
“Jungkook, we’re leaving. Come on.” I made to move towards him but a hand shot out, gripping my wrist like a vice. 
“Not so fast baby.... I already paid for her. You can’t just waltz in here and take away her livelihood.” He sneered. “ Unless you want to take her place. This is a special bar you know. All these lovelies, they have something in common with you.” 
I stared at him frowning.
“What does that mean?” 
“I hired them from an omega escort agency...you know because that’s all you omegas are useful for anyway.” 
I rolled my eyes, yanking on my wrist. 
“You and your medieval ideals can go to hell. I’m going home. Jungkook!!” I yelled again and this time Jungkook turned eyes landing on me. 
“Heejin?” He slurred. 
“We need to go home, Jungkook.” I said firmly. 
“Now?” He blinked. I nodded. 
“Yes now.” I made to move away but this time Yugyeom wrapped both arms around my waist, pinning me to his body. Pain , sharp and unbearable shot up my ribs and I whimpered. He was squeezing too hard and God what if the cracked rib just snapped? 
Panic began setting in and I yelped.
“Let me go you bastard.” I struggled to get away, staring in disbelief at my husband . 
Jungkook was standing but he swayed dangerously. There was no clarity there and his eyes were hooded. He was drunk. Really, really drunk. 
“Jungkook tell him to let me go!!” I yelled , trying to tamp down the panic that was rising up my throat. 
“Don’t worry Kook. Just gonna ask her to wait outside for a while. Why don’t you finish your conversation with Reina.. i’ll entertain your wife for a while.” He drawled and i felt my entire body go ice cold at that. 
Jungkook was blinking rapidly, the words clearly not registering and genuine terror began to bleed into my veins. Jungkook couldn’t even fathom that i was in genuine danger here, let alone help me. Oh God, why had i come alone? Where were the others??
Yugyeom held me tighter and i swallowed a groan . My ribs felt like they were on fire. 
“Let’s take this somewhere private, Heejin?” He whispered into my neck and i couldn’t believe it. Yugyeom was drunk yes, but was this idiot also insane? 
“Wait...no.. Yugeyom don’t be a fucking idiot. If you touch me, that’s fucking rape...You can go to prison for that .” I shouted, trying to drill some sense into his head. He wasn’t going to risk prison to make a point was he?? 
“Not if you seduce me angel...and you’re going to... Or I’ll just tell people you did...same difference , right?” he whispered. 
And then he began dragging me off to the corner and my eyes fell on a side door leading out of the room . 
 If you let him take you there this is going to become frighteningly real,  a voice screamed in my head and I inhale deeply, ready to scream loud enough to get the attention of everyone in the damned building. 
The door opened just as I opened my mouth and I froze, watching Mrs Jeon walk into the lounge, looking lost.
“What is this place?” She muttered out loud looking around and the arms around me fell away so fast, I crashed to the floor. 
“Heejin-ah!” Yoongi’s voice came from right behind her and I flinched, willing my shaking legs to stop trembling. 
“Mrs. Jeon...” I muttered, voice strained and ribs throbbing. 
“Heejin? What is going on here? Where’s my son?” 
“Fuck... Jungkook-ah...” Yoongi moved to get him and I took a deep steadying breath. 
Years ago , I’d taken a self defence class and one thing i’d definitely enjoyed learning was how to throw a punch. And It wasn’t something i’d forgotten. 
Planting my feet firmly , i lightly rotated my hips, a subtle shift, before engaging my core , drawing all the fury and helpless rage inside me into my fist. I pulled my shoulders in and took a deep breath. Punch past your target , i told myself. You’re not just going to break his jaw you’re going to put him in the hospital tonight. 
“Mrs. Jeon, Jungkook had a great time toni-” His voice was all i needed to hear  to know exactly where his mouth was behind me. 
i relaxed my muscles as i threw the punch, contracting them just as my fist landed on Kim Yugyeom’s face.  
The satisfying sound of flesh on bone felt like music to my ears and Yugyeom’s sharp cry of sheer agonizing pain even sweeter. 
He crashed to the floor in a heap and I could feel my fist throb like hell. I was going to bruise so badly. But it was worth it. 
“That was for telling me that you were going to rape me and tell everyone that i seduced you.” I said calmly. 
Yoongi let out a noise of disbelief. 
“What the actual fuck.....” He shouted. 
“Yugyeom what the fuck man? Are you out of your damned mind?” One of his friends yelled. Yugyeom merely groaned. 
He couldn’t answer, blood trickling down his chin and hands cradling his jaw, whimpers falling out of his  mouth. My own fist throbbed like hell so the damage had to be significant. 
Mrs Jeon looked horrified and when she opened her mouth i quickly held a hand up.
“I’m not doing this. Not tonight. “ I said calmly. Jungkook was quiet, the way he always got when he was drunk and I groaned. 
It was going to be a long night. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“We need to talk.” I said calmly and Jungkook swallowed. 
“Heejin, I’m -”
“Hear me out first Jungkook.” I said sharply. “ I don’t need your apology, it means nothing to me because it means nothing to you. You’re not sorry that you didn’t help me last night. You’re just angry that you had to help at all. You don’t give a fuck about me. I know that and I’m okay with that. What I’m not okay with is you getting drunk to the point that you don’t even recognize that someone’s in need of help. “ 
I took a deep breath. 
“If you did it to me, you’ll do it to your daughter too. Yugyeom is going to get you drunk someday when you’re taking care of Mina by yourself and then when she needs you, what are you going to do?” 
“You’re right... I shouldn’t have gotten that drunk -”
“I’m only here , talking to you , because of your daughter. If it was just you, I wouldn’t give a damn because you’re an adult and if you make your bed , you can just lie on it. It wouldn’t bother me. But Mina...she’s not capable of making the right choices. She need a father who can make the right choices, because whatever shitty choice you make, your daughter is going to be there along for the ride whether she wants to or not. You drive your car off a cliff tomorrow , she’s going to be there in the car seat laughing because she doesn’t know the consequences of your choices. “ 
I clenched my fists to keep my voice even. To stop myself from yelling. 
“I have something for you. “ 
I grabbed the brown paper wrapped canvas from under the table. 
“It’s a painting . Your wife commissioned me to make this a year ago when she got pregnant.” 
He froze so eerily still that it made me nervous.
“At first , i wasn’t sure if i should be giving it to you because well... because i was marrying you ... I wasn’t sure that it would be right, coming from me ...because I was taking your wife’s place after all...”
i laughed. 
“Now I know that's just bullshit. I don’t have a place in your life. I’m a nobody. This isn’t about me. This is about you. She told me back then that you were nervous about being a father. That was all she said. And she wanted me to pain this. “ I held the canvas out to him. 
“You can see it. I’m going to go stay with Jin oppa for a few days. I want you to see it. It shows how your wife saw you. The kind of father she hoped you would be. I want you to see it and make a choice. You can either get the help you need. “ i took a deep breath, “ Or I’m going to tell Yoongi that you’re incompetent to be a father. He’ll file charges , “ I had to close my eyes to get the next words out, “ and you will lose custody of your daughter.” 
Jungkook inhaled sharply, hands curling into fists on his knees. 
“i hope you make the right choice.” 
I wrapped both my arms around myself and walked out. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Author’s note. :
I’m so exhausted I’ll tag people tomorrow! 
.@girlinthemikrokosmos  @xius-exos  @sugainfireslex  @yunkichiee@kpopstudybee @ephyraaaa  @peachoney9795 @ggukkieland  @veronawrites  @blr1004   @tinyhoagiepartylover @btsis7okay@squishyjk  @itsdingdong @emmmui  @honeeybunneey  @yeonkiminnie
@just-me-and-myselfs  @delicate-snow-flake  @kpop-lore  @beautifulvirgobutterfly @sumzysworld  @btsmylife21  @teresaisla
.@melrosaeparker @taestannie @dchimminie  @ meraki--life   @somewhereinthestarss  @mawwnsterr  @kookiesbreaky  @chimchoom 
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kenmas-consoles · 3 years
Note
Hello honey! I hope you don't mind me requesting something with this topic but my father told me today that I should kill myself just because I bleached my hair and then that I should care about other's opinion and not my own so can I request how would William react to his s/o saying this to him? If you don't feel comfortable writing this it's fully okay, I understand 🤍 Thank you in advance though 🤍
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Pairing: William Moriarty x Reader
Summary: You bleach your hair and your father disapproves and says harsh words that lead you crying and William is there to console you.
Word Count: 1,878
Warning: Mentions of death/ act of suicide
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It was never a secret to anyone that being born into a prestigious lineage meant that you had watchful eyes on lock with your every move. Every action you made was like a public statement and it was quite restricting, never being able to act out in the open in fear of public judgement. It has been that way since you were young, (y/n) (l/n) the eldest daughter to a famous business tycoon in England.
Though upon meeting William a few years back right after a business transaction made by your father and William’s eldest brother Albert you had become close friends, and maybe something even more. The time you’ve spent with him made you feel free, free enough to express yourself because you knew he wasn’t one to judge. It was a breath of fresh air, you never had to worry about the public eye whenever you were with him. These days you have a little skip in your step, after gaining the confidence to just be yourself.
You had made a big decision of getting your hair dyed and you were quite jittery upon entering your estate with your newly done hair. The little adrenaline rush of somewhat planned impulsivity of getting it dyed thrilled you though you know that others may have mixed feelings about your new hair. It hadn't mattered to you much since you were sick of playing the perfect daughter role. You knew your parents would have to find out one way or another you just hoped they would be accepting. Besides, it was just hair and it wasn’t that bad. If anything you thought you looked 10x better a blonde.
Still, you made an effort into hiding it for the day and probably dropping the gun and talking about it tomorrow since you were still pretty tired.
Closing the doors silently you enter your room and just as you set out a sigh of relief you hear a clatter and a piercing shriek.
Maggie, your personal maid, was in your room with tea now stained on the carpet floor as she looked at you with wide eyes. Upon realizing it was just you, her young mistress, she had calmed down and rushed towards you. Holding you by the shoulders she inspected you in amazement.
“You- you’re hair!” she exclaimed in excitement, “You’re blonde! How-”
You giggled lightly at her amazement and loss of words and babbling as she held a few locks of your hair in her fingers.
“I’ve had it done earlier,” you said, giving a little spin. “How does it look?”
“Absolutely stunning dear!”
Her response brings a smile to your face.
“What in the heavens?!” A deep male voice exclaimed from behind the door and your smile had grown shaky as you realized that the voice belonged to your father.
You mustered up a smile and took a deep breath before facing him.
“Do you like it?” you asked. “It’s preposterous! outrageous! What were you thinking?! Or did you even think at all?!” “Please calm down it’s just- “Hair?” Pinching the bridge of his nose he turned away from you with a shake of his head. “ You’re being selfish again, why can’t you just listen?”
In a much quieter tone he says “why can't you just get it through your head that your actions greatly affect the family! your brother is months away from getting married and you-
why can't you just think about what others might think and stop with this nonsense.”
Each word brings a pang in your heart as your eyes sting with tears. You couldn’t bring yourself to face him either as you grew small in his presence, self conscious even.
A silence passed and neither of you spoke. The tension in the room was suffocating, your father looked as though he had more to say but he just clicked his tongue before moving towards the door.
“Maggie, please clean up this mess,” your father said without turning back to look at the now scampering maid.
Sparing one last look he sighs and says, “I’m done with this conversation, with you, you can go jump out the balcony for all I care.”
Once the door clicks shut, you fall on your knees. Never before had your father said anything so harsh nor has he raised his voice towards you before. The tears threatening to spill had already made its way down your cheeks and you choked up a sob. All the confidence you had built over the past years felt like it was deteriorating and the only feeling that ate you up was guilt and shame.
Maggie comes back in and rushes towards your side as she sees you crying. “He doesn’t mean that sweetie,” she says all while cooing consoling words and holding your crumpled form.
You couldn’t fall asleep that night, your fathers words replaying like a broken record. Were you selfish? Was it your fault? You couldn’t help but think that and once again the ugly feeling of shame was boiling up within the pits of your stomach.
Watching from your balcony, your father who was talking to the coachman below. Downcast, he hadn’t spoken to you all day. Thinking back to last night where he couldn’t even look at you during family dinner nor even say a word to you during breakfast.
As though you were drilling holes into his head from above he had turned to face your balcony. You stepped back to avoid being seen but you saw him shake his head and then you felt the shame creep up again.
You were frustrated. At your father’s silence, his words, at yourself for letting it get to you so much. It was so really unlike you and you felt tears start to sting at your eyes. You knew your schedule was free today so you had decided to head for the Moriarty manor, your safe haven.
You made your way there without delay, gripping at your skirt as you sped through the streets of London, ignoring the weird stares and whispers of those who had recognised you. Nothing was more important now than getting there, since you were minutes away from breaking down once more.
Upon reaching the manor you were greeted by the familiar face of Louis who was tending to the gardens by the gate. Delighted you made your way towards him. “Louis!” He turned his head and stood with a shocked and bewildered expression as he blinked twice almost as if checking if what he saw was correct. “(y/n)?” he asked and you happily nodded.
“What happened to you, you look like you have been crying?” he asks.
You scratch your head a bit and mention how it was a long story not even denying the fact that he found out you were crying. Louis offers you another understanding smile as he walks with you to the manor telling you he’d go fetch William for you.
“I forgot to mention,” he says as he led you through the long hallways of the manor, “You look beautiful by the way, I’m sure my brother would think so too.”
You in turn blushed in response to his words.
“You can stay in the living room (y/n), I’ll go inform William of your presence now,” he says with a curt nod and a smile.
“Thanks Lou,” you say as you both exchange another set of smiles before he takes his leave.
A few minutes pass and you hear the sound of quick steps, the door of the living room bursting open to reveal none other than William Moriarty with the most agitated expression ever.
His agitation morphed to shock as he took one long look at you and he slowly moved towards the couch you had been sitting on.
One of his rare small smiles grace his face as he takes your hand in his, rubbing his thumb over the back of your hand tenderly.
“You look different,” he jests, then takes a lock of your hair between his fingers and rubs them. You both sit in comfortable silence and he takes this time to inspect your face, he notices the little circles around your eyes and how puffy they look not to mention your slightly rosey tipped nose. It wouldn’t take a detective to know you had been crying.
He looks at you expectantly and you take it as a sign to start spilling the beans. You tell him of how you had dyed your hair the other day to sneaking into the family manor that night uptil how your father had scolded you for your actions.
William just sat there with his hand in yours, staring at you lovingly as you replayed the story. Squeezing your hands ever so lightly when you had told him that your father had told you to kill yourself. He was appalled with your father to say the least, you the most brilliant person he had met and someone had the audacity to say such hurtful things to.
As you move your arms around animatedly to show your frustrations he found them rather cute and amusing, another smile moves up to his face. You were too caught up in retelling the story to notice him bring his hands to your chin. He moves your chin to face him and this action silences you.
Smiling at you once more he moves the hand holding your chin to caress your face. “Listen,it's true you have to consider others' opinions but that's just the tip of the iceberg, think about it... do we have more confidence in their opinions than we do our own? self-care is never a selfish act.”
You sigh, taking his hand that was on your face in your own, “It’s different when those people are your family. I don’t know how I could go back and face th-” “You don’t have to go back,” he grumbles under his breath but enough for you to hear.
“...then where would I go?”
“Simple,” he says with a compelling dangerous glint in his crimson eyes. “You are of age now, stay with me. I will marry you.”
Your eyes widened in surprise and awkwardly laughed it off thinking it was another one of Williams jokes but the look in his eye told you that he was dead serious. Your cheeks then set aflame as numerous butterflies crashed around your stomach and chest.
“I know it is much too early for a proposal but I promise to love and cherish you for as long as my heart keeps beating,” He then stands and extends a hand for you to take, almost a silent sign of asking you to accept. And once you do slip your hand in his he holds you by the waist for an embrace and whispers in your ear.
“Besides, I think you look lovely as a blonde.”
This comment leaves you in a fit of giggles. William James Moriarty will always continue to be your safe haven, a pillar of support.
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Hey there angel I hope you’re feeling alright please remember that you cant let others decide your self worth for you so try not to let huetful comments let you down. I’m pretty sure you look amazing and hopefully your father will come around with getting used to seeing your hair that way. I hope this story was to your liking as well have some moriarty love!
Also I pretty much crammed this cause I only saw the request today and aaaaaaa im sorry anywayz hope you like it again sweetie!!
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ladydimitrescuspet · 3 years
Text
Tonight's Theme: Being Selfish
AO3 Link! argument fic but it's not my brand so it's a bad argument fic so I am not the least bit happy with how this turned out. and I cannot tell if I've contradicted myself in this story with what I said so I apologise profusely if I did. I also apologise for any grammatical errors. regardless, please enjoy and tell me what you think if you'd like!
***
The minute you stepped into Alcina’s study, the atmosphere changed. She knew why you were there and let out sharp exhale before lighting a cigarette.
Alcina took a drag, blowing the smoke out before she looked at you. “My answer still hasn’t changed, draga mea.”
You frowned as you walked over to her. “Why not?” You asked.
“Because it is far too dangerous for you to do.” Alcina replied.
You huffed, crossing your arms. “Why do you even get to make the decision? It’s my body, it should be my choice.” You argued.
“Darling, if I let you make any and every decision you wanted to then you wouldn’t be standing here right now.” Alcina said. She had a point. You’d made a pretty reckless decision a few months ago and it’s made her even more protective of you.
“Look, it’s sweet that you’re trying to protect me, Alci, but I really am capable of making my own decisions, reckless or not.” You replied.
Alcina sighed. “Little one, I really don’t have the time to go over this right now. I am swamped with business.” Alcina said as she replaced her quellazaire with her pen.
“That’s always your excuse, that you’re too busy for me.” You were tired of her constantly brushing you off.
“I am never too busy for you. I simply don’t wish to have this argument with you, Y/N.” Alcina responded, rubbing at her temples. “The risks of taking the cadou are high, as I’ve told you. We’ve no idea what it can and will do to you and I’d rather not take the chance to find out.”
“But Mother Mirana clearly stated that it’s the only way she’ll bless our relationship and let us marry.” You replied.
Alcina laughed dryly. “Is that what this is about? You want to seek Miranda’s approval of our relationship?” Alcina asked. “You silly little mouse, Miranda doesn’t care about our relationship. She doesn’t care about you, nor me, nor my daughters, or any of the other Lords. No, Miranda only cares about obtaining a proper vessel for her darling daughter, Eva. I stopped seeking her approval on matters a long time ago so I suggest you quit while you’re ahead.”
Your frown deepened at her words. “That’s not what I meant, Al.”
“Then what did you mean, dear one? Hmm?” Alcina asked. “Is that not what you were implying? That you wish to get that thing put into your body so you can marry me? Do you not care about your own well being, that you’d just do without thinking?” Alcina abandoned her pen once again, but this time to pick up her glass of wine. "If you did, you wouldn’t keep hounding me about it. PPlus, your intent for the cadou is purely selfish, and that’s not a good look for anybody.”
You snatched the glass out of her hand before she could take a sip, the look of shock on her face making you regret the decision a bit. After all, the wine did help her calm down so you sat it down on the desk. “I don’t understand.” You said softly. “It may be a selfish reason, but you said I was your one true, the love of your life. And I can’t be that without the cadou, without the ability to be immortal like you and the girls. You say you love me, but you won’t let me do the one thing that’ll keep us together forever. And I don’t understand.” Your voice cracked as your eyes filled with tears.
“Oh, yes, please cry me a river. I know it’s a harsh reality, but I am doing this for your own safety, Y/N.” Alcina replied. “And frankly, I don’t care how my decision makes you feel, the answer is no and that is final. Am I understood?” Alcina asked.
You nodded your head and sniffled. “But I love you and if you loved and cared about me like you always say then you’d let me take it.”
“You say you understand my words, yet you still stand here defying my answer, trying to guilt trip me into changing it.” Alcina stood from her desk and headed towards the door. “Listen to me carefully, you ungrateful little mouse. You can go to Miranda and ask for that damned parasite of hers, but if anything goes wrong, do not come crawling back to me. You can beg, you can cry, you can scream into you’re blue in your little face, you will be dead to me and my daughters, and you will not be welcomed into my home. The decision is yours to make as you wished for it to be and what you do now regarding the cadou is none of my concern.” Alcina said rather calmly albeit the scowl on her face before leaving you alone in her study.
You broke down as soon as she left. Alcina had very good reasons as to why she didn’t want you to take the cadou, why she was being so hostile. But still, her words hurt you. It made her love for you seem inferior, but you refused to believe that that was the case. Alcina said she was doing this for your own safety and you were just going to have to trust her on this.
As you gathered yourself together, you left Alcina’s study. She’d given you an ultimatum, the decision should’ve been easy. You’d simply just have to forget about the cadou and live your life with Alcina until your dying day. Then she’d find someone else to replace you in heart, you grimaced at the thought, blocking it from your mind as you wiped at your eyes.
“Y/N? What’s wrong?” A voice asked you. Daniela’s, you assumed.
You shook your head. “I’m fine.” You replied, your voice sounding a little scratchy.
“You don’t sound fine. And Mother looked awfully upset a few moments ago.” Daniela said.
You sighed. “We had a disagreement about something, no big deal.” You shrugged your shoulders as you continued walking down the hall.
“About the cadou, right?” You stopped and turned to look at her. “Mother may have been muttering about it to herself when I saw her.” She admitted. “Bela and Cassandra went to go and try to comfort her so I thought I’d wait for you.”
You gave her a small smile. “That’s sweet of you, thank you. And yes, it was about the cadou.” You replied. “It was a stupid thing to bring up again. I just, I fear for the day that I can no longer be with any of you, that’s all.3”
“Mother fears for it too, if it’s any consolation.” Daniela said. “She cares for you, Y/N, she really does. It’s been so long since Mother’s had someone around that she truly loves and she doesn’t want anything to happen to you.”
“I understand that, Dani, but it wouldn’t be the end of the world if I took the cadou.” You replied.
“But if Mother lost you, it’d be the end of hers.” Daniela said. “I think Mother is saying no because she doesn’t want to risk losing it before she has to. She’d rather you spent your days with her until you’re old than to lose you before your lives together really started. Mother’s not the one to really wear her heart on her sleeve, but she intends to do well by you, Y/N. Even if it seems a bit selfish.”
You nodded your head. “Being selfish seems to be the theme for tonight.” You murmured to yourself. “Listen, Dani, it’s not that I don’t want to just spend my days with her until I grow old. I want to be with her forever, and I can’t risk losing her just like she can’t risk losing me. Will you take me to her?” You asked.
Daniela nodded her head, leading you to where her Mother was. “Just promise you won’t leave us, no matter what. You’re one of the nicest people here and I’ve grown rather fond of you.”
“I can’t make any promises, Dani, but I’ll try.” You replied. You let out a small exhale before knocking on the door.
Bela opened the door, a little surprised to see you. “Now’s not the best time, Y/N.”
“Please, I just... I need to talk to her for a moment.” You replied.
“Don’t you think you’ve done enough talking with Mother for one evening?” Cassandra sneered at you.
Daniela pushed Cassandra out of the way. “Leave it alone, Cass. It’s not really any of your business what goes on between Mother and Y/N in private. Let them talk to her. Now.” Daniela said as she grabbed your hand, guiding you into the room. “Mother, Y/N has something they’d like to talk to you about.”
Alcina hummed before waving her hand in the air signalling for her daughters to leave the both of you. Daniela gave your shoulder an encouraging squeeze, Bela gave you a sympathetic smile, and Cassandra growled at you. You’re pretty sure Cassandra threatened you under her breath, but you could catch the small snarl she let out when Daniela hit her shoulder.
Alcina waited until the door was closed before addressing. “Come to provoke me even further, Y/N?” Alcina asked.
You’d taken a moment to notice the broken vanity in the corner of the room. Shaking your head, you walked to stand in front of her. “No. I came to... I came to apologise, Alci.” You replied.
Alcina raised her eyebrow, placing her wine glass on the table next to her. “Apologise for what, Y/N?”
“For being selfish.” You said softly. “Not that you aren’t being entirely selfish yourself, but I wanted to apologise for how I reacted. I did mean what I said, I want to be with you until the end of time, Alcina. It hurts me to think that one day I won’t have all of this, that I won’t have you just because I’m not immortal like you and I could die at the drop of a hat.”
Alcina raised her hand to your cheek, cupping it. “You will never have to worry about dying at the drop of a hat nor will you ever not have me. I am yours, as you are mine, draga mea.” Alcina replied. “You must understand that I simply won’t permit you to have the cadou at this time. It’s not safe after what happened with that wretched man-thing, iubirea mea. That’s why I said no.”
You looked at her in confusion. “It’s not safe?” You asked.
“No, my love. After what happened, Miranda’s had a bit of a set back with the parasite and it’s not... she can’t control it like she used to be able to. Her experiments have been complete failures, though she is finding success with it every once in a while. Once it is more stable then we will revisit the topic, but as of right now, I can’t let you take it.”
You hand came to rest on the one Alcina had over your cheek, squeezing it lightly. “I understand, Alci.” You said softly. “Thank you for talking to me. I know you tried to get me to understand back in the study, but I was so clouded by sheer will to spend eternity with you that I just didn’t properly understand what you were trying to tell me.”
“I’m glad you understand now, dear. I should’ve told you sooner about the instability of the parasite at the moment, I’m sorry.” Alcina apologised. “It was, like you said, a bit selfish on my behalf to keep such a thing away from you.”
You shook your head. “No need to apologise, Al, it’s fine. Besides, if you weren’t selfish, you would’ve given me to the girls to be a midnight snack a long time ago.” You said before pressing a kiss to the palm of her hand. “Are we okay?”
“Yes, draga mea, we’re fine.” Alcina replied before glancing at the time. “It is getting close to the midnight hour; may I indulge in the idea of you being a midnight snack?” Alcina asked with a smirk on her face.
You laughed as she pulled you onto her lap. “You’re incorrigible, Al.” You rolled your eyes before pulling her mouth down to yours.
Selfish or not, it was your personal goal to spend the rest of your life with Alcina, and you'd wait for however long it takes for Miranda to get the parasite under her control again, but for right now you'd be content with being a midnight snack for her until the time came for you to cross that bridge.
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ange1s · 3 years
Text
cherry emoji - mark lee
synopsis: in which mark asks to see your boobs, and the idea you had of your relationship is thrown up in the air.
wc: 3.6k
genre: this is so fluffy it hurts, some angst but nothing crazy
tw: suggestive themes (boobs), swearing
playlist: pluto projector by rex orange county, ivy by frank ocean, tapestry by bruno major
a/n: guess whos back ,, back again ,,, ange1s back ,,, tell a friend,,,, also this is unedited so i'm sorry if theres a mistake :')
my anon asks are open !! feel free to ask me anything or request something <3
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“i have a weird question.” mark says timidly. you’re sat on the floor, your back against his bed playing a rhythm game on your phone. he is sat at his desk, parallel to his bed, but with the rolling chair swivelled around to face you straight ahead. you don’t look up.
“hmm.” you hum, focused on the game.
mark swallows. “can i see your boobs?”
you drop your phone into your lap, forgetting about the game. you look up at him, straight into his eyes, and you giggle.
“wait, what?”
mark avoids your eyes almost fearfully, as if you were a detective questioning him for a crime. “can i see your boobs?” softer, this time.
you let out a shallow laugh. “don’t you watch porn? there are boobs there.”
mark blushes. “no! i mean, yes i do, but not real boobs.”
you cross your arms under your boobs on purpose, just to push them up a little higher to drive him nuts. mark sits back in his chair in frustration.
“so you think women aren’t real? that all boobs in porn are fake? jeez mark i thought you cared about women-“
���no! that’s not what i meant!” he says, exasperated. he continues to avoid eye contact with you. “of course i don’t think-“
you laugh again, keeling over. “relax mark, i know you don’t think all women are plastic.”
“look, there’s nothing wrong with being plastic, women can do whatever they-“ mark speaks quickly and nervously as if he were on trial.
“shut up minhyung,” you cut him off with a softer, more serious tone. “why do you want to see my boobs? you’re famous and cute. you could instantly find boobs wherever you go.”
he chuckles. “the word boob is so funny.”
“not the point, minhyung!”
he leans back over, the embarrassment slowly washing away. “stop calling me minhyung!”
“never, minhyung!” you retort without even thinking. you stand up to sit on his bed, now at eye level with him. “now, explain.”
“i… i dunno. i’ve just never seen boobs before. like, in person.”
you look directly at him, brain not even thinking anymore. words just fly out of your mouth with ease. “were you breastfed?”
“y/n!” he exclaims out of frustration. the embarrassment fizzles back in. he throws his head to the back of his chair and covers his eyes with his palm dramatically. he runs his hand down his face, tugging on the soft skin as it travels down. as his hand makes it back down to his lap, you giggle a little louder. “my mom’s boobs don’t fucking count. god, you made me think of my mom’s boobs. what the fuck?”
“sorry,” you manage in between giggles. “sorry, this is so funny.”
“this is impossible. i knew i shouldn’t have asked you.” mark pulls himself out of the chair and heads for the door, but you’re just as fast as him.
“now wait…” you grab his wrist to keep him from leaving. a wave of guilt washes over you. “i was just kidding.”
“were you? you didn’t sound like you were.” he says, his face still turned away from yours.
he sounds strangely hurt. “mark, are you okay?”
mark turns to face you and he looks defeated. he slumps down on the floor next to you, his knees up near his chest and his head in his hands.
“mark…”
“they were making fun of me.”
“who?”
“my friends! they were making fun of me. god, i sound like such an idiot now, whining about my friends like this, oh my god. i sound like a child.”
you rest your elbow on his shoulder giving your hand access to run through his soft, black hair. “you don’t sound like a child. you’re allowed to get upset.”
you take note at how the air shifted in the room. how quickly you focused and listened. you’re only like this around mark. with him, conversations can shift in an instant to anything. you understand each other on a deep, personal level. it’s something you don’t think you’ll ever have with another person for your entire life. maybe your soulmate. honestly? you can only dream to have this sort of connection with your soulmate, a connection so alive and so full of trust. is it even possible to have this with someone else? the fact that mark can make you think about how much he trusts you during a conversation about boobs is something only mark can make you feel. no one else. just him.
has it always been just him?
“it’s so stupid though. one minute lucas is bugging me about the fact that i’m a virgin and i’ve never seen boobs before and the next minute i’m on the floor of my bedroom with you, still not having seen any boobs mind you, nearly crying. damn. this is the lowest point i will ever reach.”
you push his hands away from his face and place your hands on his cheeks instead. “mark, please don’t cry. i hate it when you cry.”
the last time you saw mark cry was a month ago after watching a disney movie. seeing him cry just makes you cry, and since you were already crying, you just cried harder. seeing you cry makes him cry too, so he cried harder as well. the two of you just cried together until your heads hurt, to which you both took tylenols and tried to dance it off.
“i’m pathetic. insecure and pathetic.”
this is when you realize that there is more depth to his feelings than you thought.
“look, mark, i’ll show you my boobs. i trust you. i’m honestly surprised you haven’t seen them accidentally yet since i’ve known you for so long.” you chuckled, trying to lighten the mood. didn‘t work. “but i get the feeling that there’s more to this then just boobs.”
mark never really vented to you like this before. despite how close you are, he still kept things from you growing up, as a teenage boy does. you never took offense to this, as you kept plenty from him too. he never quite talked about his insecurities, his fears. he didn’t want to burden you with them. mark, so sweet and thoughtful. maybe too much for his own good. he needs to learn to share things.
he's starting to, though.
it takes him a while to speak, avoiding your eyes entirely. he speaks lowly, as if he was scared to tell the world what he was about to say.
“it’s just… everything about this sucks. everything. i’m kinda scared to tell you things, which can make us drift apart because we lose trust. then again, if i do tell you things, i’m scared it’ll freak you out and i’ll lose you. those are both bad endings. then, i’m scared to put myself out into the world. like, lucas is telling me to just find someone. go out, ask for a number, have a good time, live like someone in their 20s should be living. i can’t really do it though. every time i try, i choke. lucas once tried to set me up, you remember that, right?”
“yeah, that was the girl who stood you up.”
“yeah. it’s awful. every time i try it fails. i’ve been trying to get to the bottom of why it fails every single time but i just couldn’t. but then, i realized.” he shifts and faces you causing your hands to fall off his face and into your lap. “when i came home after being stood up, i wasn’t sad. i forgot the moment i left the restaurant. i texted lucas that the date didn’t happen and just shut my phone off and went to your place. i wasn’t sad because i knew i had you. i knew that you were going to make me feel better and that made it all go away.” he pauses. “you know? sometimes i get worried that i put too much on you. you’re my happiness, my relaxation, my joy. i worry sometimes that you’ll suffocate because i take so much from being with you. i keep this in the back of my head all the time because i just don’t want you to go. ever.”
holy shit.
“mark…”
“let me finish. i talked about this with lucas, and he told me that i can let myself be selfish sometimes. he said that i can want this that… that i can want you. i can think about you and how you make me happy and i can want that happiness yesterday, today, and tomorrow, and the day after. shit, i care about you more than anything. my heart swells and my stomach gets all these annoying little butterflies when i think of you. it’s fucking crazy. and now, today, here i am. you know, lucas, jaemin and i were talking about girls and boobs and fuck i don’t know, jaemin said that i just had to get that intimacy with someone. and it just fucking clicked. the only person i want to be intimate with is you and i’m thinking now that maybe i was stupid for asking to see your boobs. which is so stupid, i could’ve just asked to kiss you or share a bed with you or i don’t know. i’m really sorry if that was gross of me. i just wasn’t thinking. it’s so damn hard to think straight when it comes to you. i just really want to be closer to you, however that might be.”
your heart races at a speed that doctors would deem impossible. you don’t know what to think or where to look. you feel like you’re going to explode. though, if you explode, he’ll probably explode too. that wouldn’t be good.
mark looks down. he fills with regret. he doesn’t think he should've said that. maybe you'll hate him now. maybe you’ve never felt this way about him before.
you inhale slowly, trying to convince your lungs that breathing is normal and not something that can just stop when hearing speeches like this.
what is the proper thing to say? mark i love you? but do you love him? everything is so confusing right now. of course you love him, but you never considered love in this way. can i kiss you? too forward? but he wants intimacy, and you want it too. i feel the same way? boring. you can do better. mark, and his way with words. so beautiful. how do you compete? mark, you’re beautiful. mark is so beautiful. you try so hard to compose the words. maybe too hard. maybe it’s okay to go with option 3.
now, they just flow out. “mark… i think i feel the same way you do. i don’t know it’s just- i’ve always felt some sort of way toward you. something is so special about you. i spent years trying to decipher it, thinking it was just something platonic or brotherly or i dunno. i just never considered… this. i don’t even know what to call this. but it feels right. you’ve always felt right.”
he has. and he always will. he looks at you so lovingly, his enamoured gaze stuck on you. you can’t look up at him, but he watches you.
you continue. “fuck, i don’t know what to say. i’m so… god.” you run your fingers through your hair, as if to comb your brain in search for the right words. “i think you’re so beautiful. everything about you. and i’m so fucking grateful to have someone as amazing as you in my life. i don’t know what i did to deserve someone like you, and i feel like i really don’t deserve you. but it feels right. to be with you. to be alone with you. it’s just right.”
you let a little tear trickle down your cheek. you know if you look up at him, you’ll probably cry harder. you know this well, yet you look up.
“i don’t know what i did to deserve you either.” mark sighs. it’s his turn to wipe your tears now.
“so… what is this? what… are we?” you ask, melting into his hand, which somehow feels softer on your face.
“i don’t know. we can be whatever you want us to be.”
you playfully punch his shoulder, his hands sliding off your cheeks. “come on, you know i hate it when you say that.”
he gets defensive. “and you know i hate it when you hit me! you have a strong hand, yanno? shit!”
you laugh at him, clearing the last unwanted tear off your cheek with the pad of your thumb. “what can i say? gained strength from all those pillow fights over the years.”
“yeah, pillow fights i won.”
“shut up! you know i won the one at jeno’s party!”
mark laughs aloud. your favourite sound. “yeah, because everyone was drunk and you were still on your second drink. it was a very unevenly matched fight!”
“i still won!” you cross your arms and sit up straight as if you assert dominance over the conversation. who are you kidding? it’s all a joke anyways.
you crack after a moment and both of you erupt in a fit of giggles. his head falls into the crook of your neck, and it feels right. it’s almost as if your skin buzzed. you don’t know why, he’s done this many times before. but now, it’s different. the air has shifted again, so quickly. only with mark.
when he comes off of your neck, you stand up. you walk up to the door of his room, and lock it.
“y/n, what-“
you sit on his bed. “can’t have someone walk in while you’re ogling at my boobs, right? i know you and you’d never be able to live that down.”
mark is quick to stand up in defence. “what? no, we don’t have to do that anymore. i said my piece and im over the boob thing and-“
“shut up mark. you know you want to. and i kinda wanna show you too.”
he sits down on the bed across from you without another word but before either of you can move, he speaks again. “wait, kinda? please don’t feel obligated. only do this if you’re-“
“minhyung, please! i want to, ok? i really appreciate how you’re taking care of me but it’s fine. i trust you, and you trust me, right?”
he swallows hard. “right.”
“okay, perfect.” you pull your shirt off over your head, leaving you in your bra. if this was with any other boy, you’d be self conscious about literally everything: the bra you chose, the shape of your body, the hair in the places you let grow out. with mark, none of it matters now. he’s seen you in bathing suits before, this isn’t much different. and knowing how much he cares for you anyways, you know his head is clouded with praise and nothing less. his brain is working so fast right now, he probably won’t even register any imperfections.
“can i take your bra off?” mark sputters out as if he were holding onto the words for hours. “or wait, fuck-“
“yes, you can.”
he is almost shocked at your answer, and it shows. mark’s hands move slowly, his skin slightly cold as he grazes your skin. he leans in unbelievably close to wrap his arms around you to reach your back. he feels your breath on his chin, and your beautiful eyes look so sweet as you look up at him. when he finds the clasp, he kisses your nose as he pulls away, your bra coming back with him. you straighten your arms so the straps fall right off, showing your boobs.
mark is shocked. flabbergasted, even. his jaw almost drops in a shameless, teenaged boy way.
“dang. they’re so cute.”
you scoff. “cute? first boobs of your life and all you have to say is cute?”
“well what else can i say? i am not very well versed in the vast vocabulary that exists to describe your boobs.” he chuckles. “jeez, why is the word boob so fucking funny?”
you can’t help but smile timidly alongside him. that is what mark does, he makes you feel safe no matter what the situation. mark is always worried about you, worried if you are feeling comfortable and if you are okay with what is going on. he never wants things to be tense when you are around, because he hates to see you upset.
right now, you are the opposite of upset.
“y/n,” he brings your attention back to him. you hum in response. “can i touch?”
you freeze for a moment, and nod timidly. mark scoots a little bit closer, and reaches out with his right hand to gently cup your left breast. his hand is warm, and your skin needs a second to adjust to his temperature. he squeezes the flesh in the absolute slightest way, and quickly brings his hand back. he laughs almost exasperated.
“oh my god, it’s squishy? boobs are squishy?! why did that never register in my head?” he laughs loudly, as if he had just discovered something monumental.
“you’re just finding out now? oh my god mark, that’s common knowledge!”
mark looks down, his cheeks red from laughing. “dang, i’m so touch starved that i never knew until now that boobs are squishy. insanity.”
“the more you bring it up, the sadder it gets.” you reply.
he looks up at you with scrunched eyebrows. “don’t be mean. can i touch again?”
“yes, you can.”
mark cups your left boob with his right hand again, this time running his thumb softly over the supple skin. he doesn’t know what his limits are yet. can he go further? can he touch other parts of your boobs? can he touch other parts of your body? he is scared of going too fast and scaring you. mark is doing his very best today to be as careful as possible, as this is probably, remarkably, the best day of his life so far.
he pushes his index finger into your boob gently to poke it, and you laugh softly. at this point, you are just looking down at mark’s hand on your body. honestly, the fact that he isn’t doing anything is almost relaxing.
you look at how slowly his finger moves, like your skin is made up of the most delicate material in the world. he holds you with such care, such control. it is a feeling you want to feel again, and again, and again.
mark inhales slowly. he wants to go further. he wants more. he doesn’t know how you feel yet, but he will wait for you every step of the way.
but just as he opens his mouth, he hears a thud on his door. “mark hyung, we’re home! is y/n here? come eat with us!”
you both jump, as jaemin’s loud voice destroys the entire atmosphere. mark turns a cute shade of pink almost immediately, and takes his hand off of your skin. you are surprised at first, but lose all tension as you watch mark’s reaction. the poor boy is so embarrassed, but even more upset at how shortly your time was cut off. you laugh as he grabs your bra and tries to put it back on you. unfortunately, he cannot figure out how to close the back shut.
“i’m here! we’ll be there in a sec.” you shout, sparing mark from saying something stupid. you clip your bra straps together, and pull your shirt back on.
mark looks upset. “i’m so sorry they cut us off. they were supposed to be out all day, fuck. i’m sorry-”
“mark, baby, it’s okay. you didn’t know. besides, this isn’t ending here.”
mark looks up at you. “baby?”
“oh gosh, i don’t know where that came from. i’m sorry.”
“no no, its cute. i like it. baby. it just…”
“makes sense?”
he nods. “yeah. this makes sense. it really does.”
mark’s heart pounds in his chest as he takes your hands in his. today, they feel softer, warmer. he inhales sharply once again, hoping this time jaemin doesn’t break his door down, or something of the sort.
his thumb does the thing again, rubbing your skin gently. “y/n, i don’t want to be friends anymore. i think we are more than friends.”
you smile. “i do too. this makes sense.”
mark feels like he is going to explode. that would be bad though, because if he exploded, you would too. that wouldn’t be good for anyone.
“so i guess you’re my girlfriend now.”
you giggle softly. “that sounds so much better than best friend.”
“dang, it kinda does, doesn’t it?”
you let go of his hands and climb off his bed. he follows instantly after you do. right before you go to unlock the door, mark takes your hand once again, and turns you to face him.
you heart races as you lock eyes with him. you cannot believe everything that happened today. how your best friend, who you’d known for your whole life, confessed everything he felt for you, and poked your boobs mere minutes after. and that’s okay, because that’s mark. your mark.
“do we have to go down? i really want to see your boobs again.”
you lean over and place a kiss on his cheek, which causes him to lose his train of thought completely. “you’ll see them again soon, i promise. but if we don’t go down, jaemin will come upstairs and try opening your door. you know him, he’ll freak out when he sees that it’s locked. we’d get found out before we even have a chance to start.”
mark sighs. “fine. no more boobs today. guess i’ll just have to suffer without your boobs in my hands. shit, how am i going to survive?”
you unlock the door, and twist the handle. “well baby, i guess you’ll have to figure it out.”
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scrawnytreedemon · 3 years
Text
Victor Frankenstein and Frustration: a Not-Essay, because I can’t structure for shit.
Alright, I’ll try to keep it as clean and concise as I can, but at the end of the day this is a sorta-heat-in-the-moment thing I’m writing while all the ideas and motivation are in me yet. I will be jumping around alot of topics, as this covers alot of ground, but I can’t say I’ll do it with grace: for this, I apologise.
I’ve noticed a trend in online lit fandom, not just on Tumblr, to condense Victor’s character to something roughly following “arrogant, ineffectual and selfish weenie who failed horribly at parenting, who ought not to be taken seriously in any significant way, largely in-due to his constant whining“ --In other words, a right twat.
And here’s the thing: largely, I agree.
However, what I take issue with, I suppose, is largely how this is all framed.
See, fandom has a tendency to sort characters into boxes, and then pick favourites or bête noires from that selection; this is helpful for the largely memetic(as in, shareable,) nature of online spaces; but where I think this thinking falls short is that it tends to divide casts into More Good or More Evil, with little room for nuance.
I think you can see where I’m going with this.
Victor Frankenstein, by all accounts, is an incredibly frustrating character to witness; he gets way in over his head, isolates himself from his loved ones, leaving them worried, deems those ambitions failed, hides from them, then when shit starts hitting the fan, he takes initial actions to try and mitigate the consequence, hits a roadblock, either stops their or chooses an even worse option, someone else gets hurt, he whines, rinse and repeat until the final act of the book, as the stakes get higher and higher and his mental state deteriorates more, and more, and more. If you look at this entirely from an outsiders’ perspective, as you, the audience, being subjected to his moaning time and time again, it can wear on you and your sympathies-- Needless to say, I Get It™.
I think, however, it needs be remarked that Victor is also just some guy. 
What I feel is often missed, is that even before Victor goes to university, he has just suffered the loss of his mother, with little time to recover, and that all of this is being told in hindsight, on his deathbed.
When Victor took on, all by himself, at twenty-two years old, not even letting anyone else know what he was up to, the monumental task of creating life, and then finding that life horribly botched, he did not have the perspective that what he created was equivalent to a newborn child-- For all he knew, he might have animated an actual demon. It isn’t until two years later, after the death of his little brother at the hands of said demon, the he’s even remotely made aware of this.
Victor had worn himself out over the course of several months, physically and mentally, to this one task. He was not equipped to deal witht he consequences. I do not say this to downplay the weight of his actions, or the horrible mess of events that come afterwards, but to state perspective. Victor does not have the hindsight we have at the time of this act. I cannot stress this enough. As much as I enjoy Deadbeat Dad Vick jokes, I get the feeling many people actually view the story from this lens, and hold Victor up to that standard.
Then there’s the trial of Justine: a horrible, useless, unneeded and avoidable affair that ends in even more senseless death. This is where alot of people’s sympathy for Victor runs out-- For more than understandable reasons. He failed to act accordingly, to share the information he had, deeming it to be either dismissed instantly or for himself to be put under scrutiny; it’s clear he’s passionate about Justine’s innocence, but he cannot push himself past his fear and doubt, and ultimately, it ends in her death.
It is a horrible, horrible moment, and one that cements the tone of the story from there on out.
These are two key events that largely colour this image of Victor so prevelant online; and it certainly doesn’t help, what with fandom being almost aggressively left-leaning at times, that Victor comes from a place of privilege; he is almost tailor-made to push all the buttons of fandom sensitivities.
Let me elaborate.
A key feature of Victor’s character is his complete and utter inability to ask for help; no matter how dire the situation. Victor feels, that, despite and even because of his incompetence, that it is his cross and his cross alone to bear. Any inolvement from others, such as Clerval when he heads to England, is hesitant and highly discouraged, even when he wants nothing more than to partake in the company of his loved ones, after all he’s been through. While it is also heavily coloured by the anguished sentiment that borders on self-absorption so much of the time, I think it is also worthy to examine this too.
Victor’s tendency to indulge in self-pity and self-loathing is nigh, if not entirely, all-consuming; it pervades the narrative to a painful degree, particularly as it comes from his recollections; it is often exhausting to read through, and nigh unbearable if you already hold a disdane from his previous actions; but here’s the thing I think most people miss,
Victor is depressed.
I don’t mean “ooh, he’s so sad, leave him alone 🥺,“ I mean the guy is fucking depressed, stuck in a constant cycle of attempting to make do but failing, hating himself even more, letting it consume him because he at once feels like he deserves to be consumed and it’s the only thing he can do then and there to soothe to pain as shit gets worse and worse.
Victor Frankenstein’s internal monolgue is a prime example of deep-seated, far-gone depression, and I say this because I myself have experienced and do experience this. Depression is fucking soul-sucking, man; it turns you in on yourself, makes you feel entirely undeserving of love and compassion, leaves you feeling like you must, have to, deal with this entirely by yourself because it is your cross to bear.
Depression is so often self-flagellating and pointless, leaving the subject drained and often largely unable to experience the world outside their own miserable little bubble.
Victor is so wrapped up in this soul-sucking guilt, attempting to fight his own ineffectuality and in doing so only furthering his own ineffectuality, refusing to ask for help, that he ends up putting the ones he’s trying to protect in further danger as he tries to scramble a hodge-podge solution to the problem he created and couldn’t have even begun to forsee its consequences at twenty-two years old. It is a painful, painful example of how if only he reached out, if only he told someone, was honest, all of this could have been avoided, or at least mitigated.
And I think that’s the thing with Victor.
He’s a kind of banal evil-- If such continuous stumbling can even be considered so --He is an example of every day self-isolation and refusal to let anyone else in ballooning to such a degree it ends in distaster.
People are far, far more willing to forgive Adam for his transgressions-- And I say this as someone far more sympathetic to his plight, what with the absolute abandonment he faced at the hands of humanity --Despite their far more horrific consequences; in many ways, they’re attributed to Victor’s failing; which isn’t entirely untrue,
But I have to wonder, if alot of this also comes down to the fact that Victor’s wrongdoings are so human; leaving someone in your care behind; not speaking up in cases of injustice; being self-involved; again, the constant whining. In a way, it’s the sentiment that in stories a horrible person is often far more bearable than an annoying one.
That doesn’t even begin to touch on how much of the bemoaning might largely be and often is directly post-hoc regret colouring all his previous actions. This, above all else, is a cautionary tale to a fellow idealist in the hopes that Robert Walton doesn’t Fuck Up the way he did. Victor stresses his regret and his failings and his misery time and time again because he wants to protect Robert from a similar fate; a fate that ultimately ends in his death.
Victor Frankenstein is a study in frustration; in audience frustration, self-frustration, narrative frustration; it seeps into every corner of the story.
I am not trying to defend Victor Frankenstein as a person; he is flawed; and he’s meant to be flawed. Victor, at the end of the day, is a deconstruction of the Byronic hero-- Of Great and Powerful Men on the Fronteers of History™-- And most importantly, I think, a deconstruction he himself undergoes. Victor eventually alerts someone, a Genevan magistrate, is doubted just as he feared, and then runs off to take revenge into his own hands.
It takes the death of Elizabeth Lavenza to do so.
Victor is a flawed, miserable man, but not an evil one. That doesn’t mean he deserved to have his life crumble around him.
He could have done better. Should have done better.
And he knows this.
His entire arc is about how he knows this.
Victor dies knowing this.
Him being unlikable doesn’t make him a bad character. Him being unlikable is part of the character; and in a meaningful way.
God, I don’t know how to end this. I’ll probably come back and edit this many, many times.
I guess I’m just tired of people flattening characters just because they’re not particularly endearing.
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selinakidreams · 3 years
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hello hello hello ! this is my comfort piece for @doinmybesthere ‘s mental health awareness month collab! and I’d just like to say a huge thank you to emme for creating such a wonderful collab and thank you for letting me be apart of it.
paring: kirishima eijirou (I’m talking 7ft big strongman vibes) x empathic quirk f!reader (established relationship)
word count: 3.7k +
genre: hurt/comfort + fluff
warnings: mentions of anxiety & toxic friendships, instigating with means to harm- please let me know if I missed anything!!
a/n: this I think,, was the best way to approach what has tormented me for years. it was a reoccurring thing for me but I never handled it properly, and just this year, someone important taught me that I deserve more than what I’ve been putting myself through. so here it is! I also think that once my schedule clears up, I’m gonna make a sister piece to this but idk !! let me know if you guys would be interested in that!
++ the absolute biggest thank you to my betas/flow checkers @doinmybesthere @lady-bakuhoe @keishinslove BIG kith
pss. the first person who can guess my love language based off this fic wins a prize
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Turning other’s confidence to despair, gloating to fear, persistence to tiredness, motivation into loss- but all you felt was drained. The overuse of your quirk left your head feeling full of cotton; Your chest heaving and vision slightly blurry. 
You arrived late to the fight because what started as a relaxing day off quickly turned into a rush to get to the streets. Thankfully Red Riot had been on the scene, waist-deep and stalling a full-fledged fight between two combat villains until backup came. 
His tired eyes met yours and you flashed him a hopeful smile until witnessing the villain get a short-termed upper hand. They landed a solid punch, which caused you to feel not only the repercussions of the shock-inducing impact but your building guilt of being a distraction.
Years of training reminded you not to let it get to your head, your hero instincts kicking in after emotionally experiencing that strike. Heart pumping with adrenaline, you began to focus your heart and mind, simultaneously tuning into what those around you were feeling, never forgetting to keep your eyes wide and alert. 
Confidence, eagerness, perseverance, exhaustion, determination. 
Taking a breath as you ease into a rhythm, you kept your sights on the two people who were attacking the boulder of a hero and finally, a steady grasp.
Quirk at work, the familiar mental image of loose strings flowing in the wind appeared, and you grabbed a hold of them, symbolizing that you had caught hold of their feelings and wasted no time on bending and contorting to your will. You watched as their actions became slower and less motivated, making it easier for Kirishima to handle. He must have realized what was happening, a new surge of elation pumped through him as he began to knock both of the villains down a peg. 
Seeing him fight had always been such a marvel to watch; it was so easy to be mesmerized by the sheer enthusiasm he had while trying to keep the balance and execute justice. Kirishima Eijirou was a hero in all senses of the word- and not just any hero, your hero- as cheesy as it sounded.
Secured under his weight and possibly unconscious, Red Riot looked around, a bit disheveled, until his gaze found yours. Expecting to be met with the warm sincere smile that always made your heart flutter, your heart sunk when you saw his eyes turn wide and frantic as he called out your hero name. 
On top of feeling a bit dizzy from honing into those particular subjects and manipulating two people at once, a wave of distress washed over you, adding to the unfavorable aftermath of pushing your quirk. 
You were quick to whip around, finding another villain was closing in closer than expected. You dropped all previous controls and focused solely on the person in front of you. 
“You had gotten better since the last time I saw you,” they sneered as they attempted to land a hard-hitting kick to your stomach. 
Missing by a hair, you pushed past the dreariness in your head and went straight into a defensive position.
The close-cut dodge wasn’t the only thing to throw you off; now you had realized why Kirishima looked at you like that; your traumatic past, the one you had divulged to him in the safety of your home, warbling with tears streaking your cheeks, was coming back to roughhouse with the intent of ending in a knockout. 
Fear twisted into gut-wrenching anxiety; the plummeting feeling hit the bottom of your stomach with a harsh thud.
In front of you stood the unmistakable frame of someone you had considered to be one of your closest friends for a time; someone that seemed so natural to be with, someone you divulged secrets and shared smiles with, someone that had made it seem like separation was not an option- now turned villain, sporting a suited evil smirk smeared on their face. 
It was hard not to let the tears collect on your waterline, thinking about the whirlwind of your relationship as your gaze met theirs for the first time in years. Months and months of triggered breakdowns, cold sweats from various nightmares, and countless tears have been shed as time progressed, the sinking feeling of long-lost fear that they had put you through now showing its ugly head; the thought you had convinced yourself for so long- that you ended up not even being worth their time starting to resurface. 
It had been hard to learn the lessons that were dealt and see the mistakes made on both parts- not just yours, to pick up all the shattered expectations of what a true friendship is, but you had. Now you were able to sort through the wrong sorts and had gotten emotionally and mentally stronger because of it; in many ways, the ending of the friendship helped you realize that there were ways you deserved to be treated, and like shit wasn’t one of them.
However, it almost seemed like all the progress you had made swirled down the drain now that they were in front of you. It was like you were experiencing the heartbreak of them ending the friendship all over again.
“Awww! The poor little hero is still heartbroken after I left her?” their tone patronizing as they jutted out their bottom lip to form an exaggerated pout. “Look at you! I can practically see the desperation on your face- desperate for me to come back? You’ve always been so fucking clingy. But you know, the news has you pinned as like... some kind of saint… no, no. You’re nothing but a selfish attention whore playing the good guy... so I just wanted to stop by and remind you of the truth.” they sneered, really aiming to trigger your trauma. 
You had opened up to them about all your fears; from the smallest to the all-consuming ones, so for them to be targeting you like this… they must have thought that you haven’t changed- and you fucking have. You worked damn hard to do so; You’ve grown and have started appreciating yourself more, started loving yourself more, started working on yourself more. The villain was only targeting your past worries, keyword, past.
Regardless, you were already feeling too much as is and the best thing you could do for yourself right now was to control yourself. 
The urge to take it personally was beyond tempting- to make them suffer as they had done to you, to watch them break right in front of you… But there was a specific way to handle this situation, one you’ve envisioned more than enough, the perfect high route. 
Quickly looking back to see how Kirishima was fairing, you were met with the rock hero in the process of cuffing the other two offenders, allowing you to feel a rush of relief. You turned around and mentally centered yourself. The convict seemed to put together what you were about to do, so without hesitation, they began charging only a second too late.
Taking a breath, the perfect feeling to muddle their prideful feeling down surged through you as you carefully knotted their violent stings together.
It was the feeling you faced when all was said and done after, the outcome you faced after you had gone through confronting all of the trauma that was built up by this person. 
All you felt was emptiness. 
When it hit them, you saw it in their eyes as they stopped in their tracks. No smugness, no pride, no cowardness. Nothing to egg them on and yet nothing to make them feel terrible. Blank. 
Before confusion slithered its way to their consciousness, you took the opportunity and roundhoused them- your efficient ankle sweep knocking their head to the floor, deeming them unconscious.
Crouching to the floor next to their body, you made sure they were breathing before cuffing them and standing back up, turning around you double-check on the scene behind you.
The police furthest from you were tucking the Red Riot’s villains in their cars while the others jogging towards you kept their eyes on the limp body behind you, Kirishima in tow. He looked incredibly tired but couldn’t seem to keep the smile off his face. He felt proud.
A weak smile graces your lips as you try to take a step, only to see your vision blur.
Great. 
The last thing you saw was the panicked look in his eyes as his pace quickened to a run in attempts to catch you. You faded out to the sound of an urgent call of your actual name before your body hit the ground with a thud. 
The next few hours came in slow-paced blinks. 
The first time you opened your eyes post-fight, your body felt heavy… but you were moving. It didn’t take long to realize that you were being carried by the muscular arms that you wake up to every morning. Slowly peeling your eyes open, the sight of his signature spikey red hair reminded you that what had just happened. Your boyfriend, the one who was on the scene with you, had witnessed you overcome one of the people that truly had left damage on you. He wasn’t looking at you, but staring straight ahead; by the way, his fingers curled around your bicep and thighs, it had been tough for him to watch everything that had gone down. 
You tried to call out his name, but it sounded stifled, sounding more like a broken whisper than anything. After another try, he seemed to have heard you, his ears perking up even though all the commotion- or maybe it was just ironic timing. When his red eyes caught the beaming smile you attempted to comfort him with, he tried to mimic it, only you could make out the way his bottom lip quiver. Your eyelids became unbearably heavy and for the second time, unconsciousness took its hold over you.
Blink.
The next time your eyes peeled open, you were being inspected by the all-to-familiar medical team. The inside of the ambulance was much brighter than it was outside, fluorescent lighting causing you to squint. Unnamable hands were touching your head and pulse points. When they noticed your eyes open, they tried to keep you awake as long as possible, the first step was sitting you up on the gurney. The first person you made eye contact with was your designated nurse- the one with the most comforting presence, was that part of her quirk? 
With a kind smile and knowing eyes, she jerked her head in the direction of the person she knew was first to come to mind. Following the movement, your gaze landed on Kirishima, who was standing off to the side and chewing on his nail, arms crossed against his chest. 
Had he already got checked out? Was he okay? 
When he noticed you were staring, he mustered up a small smile and in return, you slightly lifted both your hands to do a loose wave in attempts to warm up his smile. It worked.
“Okay c’mon, you know how these checkups go- you can go be with your boyfriend once we know you’re okay.” your nurse teased, knowing full well that a serious approach wasn’t going to work with you being this drowsy. 
You merely nodded in response, head and eyelids still heavy.
 The rest of the examination went by speedily, you being awake making everything go ten times smoother. After everything was checked and you were clear to go home, the nurses moved to talk to Kirishima as you moved to the edge of the ambulance, waiting for them to finish. 
“I’m so lucky that you’re not only my hero but also a registered caregiver. Well actually… both are pretty super...” You mumbled, trailing off with a lazy smile, lids finally starting to accept the losing battle of staying open. 
“Nooo, you’re lucky that it’s the overuse of your quirk that’s keeping you out of the hospital and not fatal injuries. It’s not manly to push yourself too hard.” he quipped back in a light playful tone; He didn’t miss how hard you were fighting to stay awake. “Baby, can you make it to the car or do you want me to carry you?” 
It was moments like this where you appreciated how comfortable Kirishima made you feel in your relationship; feeling no shame when you revert to a clingy pile of mush. Reaching out, you let your eyes close as you mimic grabby hands to your enormous boyfriend. 
You hear him sigh as he kneels in front of you, opening your eyes in time to catch his broad back muscles shifting, “c’mon love, you need to help me with this bit.”
You clumsily climb on his back and loosely wrap your arms around his neck, standing up with ease. He quickly adjusts you against him to get a better hold on your thighs. Once he begins walking, you let yourself subside back into unconsciousness.
Blink.
You were jolted awake when you felt yourself falling, only for your behind to hit a familiar cushiony surface. Oh right, the car. Before you could fade out once again, you heard Kirishima say something about going to grab the paperwork so the both of you can file your reports later when you wake up. The last thought you were able to think was something along the lines of how incredibly lucky you were to have someone love you so deeply.
Blink.
Waking up to the view of the city lights twinkling below your balcony and the energy of a healthy 8 hours of sleep, you stretch the rest of the drowsiness out of your body till you feel ready to accept the hefty amount of paperwork that’s waiting for you in the other room. 
The only light that illuminated your bedroom was the reflection of the living room lights on the hallway floors. Before getting up, you spared a glance at your nightstand, seeing a glass of water with a note underneath, as predicted; this happened more often than not after a battle. You reach out and take the glass in hand and take a steady sip before letting in more and more water, then reading the messy little note:
 in the livingroom <3 
You smiled at the little doodle he drew- two characters that seem a lot like the two of you, kissing, with a sparkly heart over their heads.
The need to recreate this drawing was growing at an incredible speed.
With newfound determination, you push yourself up from the bed and shuffle to the living room, squinting when the light becomes a little too harsh against your eyes.
Eyes fully closed when you get to the center of the living room, purposely facing the wrong way and trying to suppress a giggle, you try to use the most monotone voice you could muster.
“Kiri - where are you I can’t see.” 
“Your eyes are closed- babe, open your eyes.” 
“No it’s too bright but I saw this cute drawing on the nightstand done by this really talented artist and I must recreate it please recreate it with me.”
You heard a bit of shuffling before his voice came close to your left side.
“Was it a pretty manly drawing?” 
“I would like to think so.”
He was much closer at this point, shifted to somewhere close in front of you right before warm lips were on yours; as quick as the peck came, it was gone in a flash followed by the sound of him plopping down on the couch.
“Wait Eijirou-” you start to pout as you turn in the direction where the couch is, eyes now fully open and set on Kirishima until the shock of pain shot through your nerve endings. 
“Ah, shit! Fuck!…” you wince, lifting your leg to hug your newly stubbed toe.
Kirishima is back by your side in an instant, really trying to suppress his laugh but doing a terrible job.
“You’re such a jerk for laughing,” you pout, giving your best attempt of a proper shove… and he didn’t even budge. 
There was a moment of complete silence then the booming of your boyfriend’s boisterous laughs bouncing off the walls. Rolling your eyes, you limped over to the spot on the couch where he was previously sitting, and as the cushion beside you dips, you sigh. 
The sight in front of you was a disheveled mess. Scribbled on papers were thrown about- most were filled out but there were a few that were blank, pens and highlighters could be spotted under and over random reports.
“I did most of the reports… but I didn’t know if you wanted to fill out yours… because of who you were fighting.” he slowly stated, as if he were walking on eggshells. You could tell that he was holding back from hitting the main issue. 
Was this something you were ready to unbiasedly talk about? Kirishima knew most of the details, but he also realized that you probably wanted to talk about it more now that you’ve not only seen them after all this time but had to fight them. 
With another sigh, you let your head fall into your palms- your elbows digging into your thighs- and you roughly rub your eyes before coming up for a new breath of air. 
“My heart was pounding…” you started, attempting to prepare for the unwanted wave of grief, but as you trailed off, oddly enough, it never came. 
When reflecting on the fight, you remembered the range of emotions you felt, but now… you just felt… empty- which was ironic. No sadness, longing, anxiety… if anything, with your caring redhead staring at you with the roundest eyes, you felt at ease. 
“But honestly? I don’t really feel much right now. Like I can say that when looking back, I think I handled myself in the best way possible- they don’t deserve to have that satisfaction of creating a rise out of me, and quite frankly… I’m tired, Ei. I’m so tired of letting them have that hold on me. I don’t deserve that kind of pain. As much as I am a hero, I need to think about myself as a person and there’s only so much I can endure. My mental and emotional health comes first.” 
After saying all of that, there was a slight hint of relief that flooded your system; you already began to feel lighter.
“I’m so proud of you. I know that must have been really hard to face but you did it, and you were so good about it,” he whispered as he reached out for your thigh. 
Accepting his comfort, you sucked in another breath and smiled up at him. He held and returned your smile for a couple of seconds before slightly leaning in, his eyes flickering from your eyes to your lips. 
“Would it be alright if I.. kiss you?” it was such a heart-warming gesture, how he was making sure you weren’t pushing yourself. 
“More than alright,” you whisper, barely getting out the last word because of how quickly the gap between you two closed. The kiss was comfort in the rawest form; his pace was slow, his large hand cupping your jaw as his tongue invaded your mouth. You were following his pace, your eyes coming to a close, melting into a relaxed state for what seemed like the first time today. 
Keeping the kiss light, he pulled away shortly, but not before placing a lingering peck on your lips, then one on your forehead and whispering, “I made you a snack. You’re probably hungry right now so I prepared you a little something filling. And while you eat, I’m gonna run a bath with some Epsom salt and lavender oil, does that sound good?” 
Overwhelming gratitude washed over you. Words couldn’t possibly measure even the bare minimum of the love you have for Kirishima Eijirou, and yet you managed to string a soft, “You are the most wonderful person in the world, and I… Eijirou I love you so much.” 
His eyes became a little teary as he looked down at you, a wobbly smile in place before whispering a returning “I love you,” before heading into the bathroom to run the water in your massive tub. 
As the thundering sound of the water filling the tub echo through your apartment, you get up and rummage the fridge to find a plate of adorably cut red apples with a glob of peanut butter off to the side. 
“Baby do you want tea?” You call out just loud enough, “I’m gonna brew that green tea with the toasted rice!” 
He came into the kitchen looking big and confused, “what did you say, baby?”
“Green tea?”
“Oh yes, please,” he said, leaning in and planting a kiss to your temple before turning back to the bathroom. 
“Kiri? Can you put on the house shows on the tv? I forgot what channel they were on.”
You didn’t need to turn around to hear tv turn on; a shout of thanks was called out before you took a bite of your snack.
It felt all very domestic, something you never thought could happen to you. Your childhood was a montage of quirk abuse, being emotionally used, following the same types of toxic people, and never learning your lesson. It all flipped somewhere in your twenties- you began to realize the pattern after being shown the kindness the world could offer. No longer world you put up with bullshit like that. You knew better now and Eijirou always reminded you of that. 
You were halfway through one of your favorite flipping shows when Kirishima came in shirtless, letting you know the bath was ready, “Okay my love, it’s ready. Take your time, I‘ll be in the tub.”
You stripped on your way to the bathroom, leaving all your clothes on the bench in the bedroom before padding into the warm-tiled bathroom.
The view you stepped in on was delicious; your huge boyfriend taking up most of the tub, his head tilted back against the wall, eyes closed.
“Gee red, you’re so sexy.” you aimed to tease, but your words came out a bit strained. He chuckles before turning to face you and groaning your name, “hurry up and come in here.”
And it’s then when you’re submerged in all the heat and laying against your boyfriend’s warmth, do you remember that life is what you make it to be. Never accept anything less than the love and care you deserve.
Blink.
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Sweet Pandemonium - Gally (The Maze Runner) Bonus Chapter 😉
Finally, the last last chapter. I never thought I’d say this, but I’m burnt out from Gally lmao. I think I’m just happy I’ll be able to focus on other things without having to worry about “what comes next” in this story. Anyway, prepare for some tooth rotting fluff and smut.
by the way, please don’t hate me for putting in a star wars reference in this chapter, i already hate myself enough for doing it lmao
NSFW WARNING
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(not my gif)
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Months later, after everything was over and done with, you only just started to feel comfortable in the Safe Haven. Having to risk your life almost everyday, always having to keep moving place to place, you didn’t have high hopes for the supposed haven.
You still had nightmares every single time you fell asleep.
You couldn’t sleep the first couple days at the Safe Haven until exhaustion finally took over. You eventually excepted that’s how it was going to be, that you were going to have these nightmares for the rest of your life. Then it was just learning how to live again; learning how to live with the guilt that weighed you down constantly; living with the fact that you could’ve saved Newt, saved Teresa. You might’ve died trying, but that wouldn’t have mattered to you.
Why did you live and they couldn’t? It was fucking fair.
You were thankful for Gally though. He was your beacon of light when the nights got too dark, when your guilt and pain was blinding. He helped you to the best of his ability, even though he knew that pain you carried would never go away. He made things bearable, and that was more than enough for you.
Looking out to the ocean, seeing the tide rush in with the sun slowly lowering on the horizon, painting the sky in an array of orange, pinks and purples; you wondered, wondered what would be left of the rest of the world after abandoning it.
You felt the sand beneath you, how it stuck to your skin, and you started to feel your eyebrows furrow in irritation. You didn’t like sand. It was rough, course, and it always got everywhere. Being in a Safe Haven, you would’ve thought it would be more comfortable to live in. But those were just bratty, selfish thoughts.
You looked up to see seagulls, hearing an occasional caw from their beaks. You let yourself smile, trying to find some happiness in the small things, or beings.
The loud crashing of the waved filled your ears, blocking out everything else around you almost like a trance, that you didn’t even realize the boy who just sat next to you.
“Beautiful, isn’t it?”
You’ve heard that voice so many times that you didn’t even flinch at the sudden sentence. “Yeah, it is.” You smirked. “Just wish sand wasn’t so irritating.” You huffed, wiping some flecks off your hands.
Gally chuckled. “You say that, yet you come sit out here almost every night.”
“I can handle sand for some peace and quiet, away from everyone else.” For a moment, Gally looked offended. “You’re the only exception, obviously.”
He grinned, taking a hold of your hand. “You used to do this in the Glade too.”
“Yeah, it’s not so different here. We obviously don’t have to worry about any Grievers. Just in the way everyone has communal housing, no privacy.” You frowned. “But, that’s just how it’s gotta be, I suppose.”
Gally nodded, directed his gaze back to the ocean, delicately rubbing his thumb over your knuckles. It could’ve put you to sleep, but he cleared his throat, gaining your attention. “Oh, I’ve got a surprise for you actually.” He smiled nervously.
You tilted your head in confusion, but chuckled anyway. “A surprise? Wha-?”
“Come on, I’ll show you.” Gally quickly stood up, bringing you with him and then leading you away.
“Wait, Gal, I don’t think we’re allowed to be far away from camp right now.” You said worryingly, looking back and forth between Gally and the camp on the beach that was slowly getting further and further away.
“Shh, don’t worry, it’s fine. Just come on!”
Never in your life have you seen this boy so excited. Must be one hell of a surprise if he looked like a kid on Christmas Eve. The trek was far into the woods, away from the beach, you couldn’t even hear the ocean waves anymore. “This is a long way.” You said, somewhat nervously.
“We’re almost there, close your eyes.”
You only went wide eyed. “What?!”
Gally chuckled softly at the outburst, coming up behind you and placing his hands over your eyes. “It’s part of the surprise.”
“I don’t think I like surprises...” You pouted.
Gally only placed a kiss on your cheek. “Trust me.” He said, starting to lead you blindly through the woods. Only the occasional root or hole in the ground made you trip, most of the time you were just tripping over your own feet out of nervousness.
“We’ve stopped. Are we here?” You asked.
“Yeah.” He said softly, removing his hands to allow you to see.
The sun had only just begun to set, so it was dim enough that you didn’t have to adjust to the light. But it was light enough to see what was in front of you.
You gasped softly when you saw a little hut in a small clearing of the forest. It was quite simple in structure, but just one look over and you could tell how delicate the process must’ve been. You knew that cause your Builder senses were tingling.
“Gally...” You awed, unsure how to react. “Did you...?”
“We never got to build your home in the Glade. So, I asked Vince if we could build away from the beach, and he agreed. It’s not my best work, but there’s always room for improvement.”
You threw yourself in Gally’s arms, and he immediately wrapped his arms around you. “Gally, it’s perfect.” You whispered, almost on the verge of tears.
“You haven’t even seen the inside.” Gally laughed.
“Then show me!” You giggled goofily, making Gally blush slightly.
“Of course, but first,” You squealed as Gally lifted you up in his arms bridal style, walking to the door of the hut. “Gotta walk you over the threshold, like in the movies.”
You blushed as you giggled, burying your face in his shoulder. “You don’t have to do this, Gal!”
There wasn’t a proper door in the frame, only a thick cloth. “There wasn’t enough time to fix up a door, but I’ll do it eventually.”
Gally finally set you down when you entered the hut, and you were in awe in a matter of seconds, seeing how beautiful the interior was. The floor was sanded down perfectly, a beautifully woven rug smack dab in the center of the room and a small table next to the right wall.
Gally grabbed your hand, quickly leading you into another section of the small building, not even giving you time to breathe as he was too excited to show you everything.
“The bedroom.” Gally smirked, quirking up an eyebrow suggestively.
You stifled a giggle as you surveyed the room. The medium sized bed lay in the corner of the room, a small makeshift window carved into the opposite wall, a bedside table with a wooden vase occupied by various colored flowers you assumed native to where you were.
“Gally...” You whispered.
“I know it’s not much, like I said, but we could always expand. Brenda helped a bit, she said that flowers would be a nice touch. I don’t know why, but she seemed genuine. But if you don’t-”
“Gally!” You interrupted him with a laugh, gently grabbing ahold of his face and placing your lips against his with a smile.
Gally chuckled breathlessly as you pulled away. “I guess that means I did good?”
“Gal, you did perfect. You’re perfect.” You said, knowing it would make him blush.
“You’re the one who’s perfect.” He countered, making you the one blushing.
“Stop.” You rolled your eyes.
“I’m serious.”
You huffed. “I’m not gonna argue with you.”
“Yeah, good, cause you’d lose.” You refrained from snapping back at Gally, knowing that he was right and the argument would go nowhere.
You shook your head with a smile, walking to the bed and plopping down rather ungracefully. “Oh my god...”
“What?”
“This is so comfortable.”
Gally grinned and laid down beside you. “Oh yeah, better than those stupid hammocks we had to sleep on in the Glade.”
You tried to keep your eyes to the ceiling, realizing how close you two were. You two had slept beside each other obviously, but you quickly took notice of how needy you felt around him, and it made you nervous. It’s not like you were touch starved, but every time Gally put his hands on you in the simplest ways, you felt yourself wanting more than just hugs, handholds or kisses. You were pretty sure he felt the same way too. The way he’d reluctantly hold back during any make out sessions, or how he forced himself to look away from your body if you two were working together. He wasn’t making it that subtle.
Gally putting his hands on your waist got you riled up the most, even if it was to stop you from falling off or ladder or something similar, it was so frustrating. You wanted something to change, but you had no idea how to bring it up without feeling like an absolute moron.
Just the thought of Gally exploring your body with his big, warm hands that would give you chills down your spine and make you we- “Ugh.” You huffed loudly.
“What’s up with you?” Gally chuckled.
“Oh, uh, nothing. Nothing really.” You cleared your throat.
Gally smirked. “Well, ‘nothing’ is making you clench your fists.”
You forced yourself to unclench your fists as soon as he pointed it out, trying not to wince as you felt your nails removing themselves from being slightly imbedded into your skin. “Ugh, sorry...I was just thinking.”
“‘Bout what?”
You felt your cheeks increase in temperature, but you sat up and rubbed your hands over your face. Gally quickly sat up with a look of concern of his face, obviously not understanding why you felt frustrated. “Are you seriously okay? Do you feel sick or something?” He placed the back of his hand on your forehead. “You don’t have a fever or anything...”
You couldn’t help but smile, almost seeing him in an innocent light. “No, I’m not sick, Gal.” Gally furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, tilting his head slightly.
You saw Gally’s lips slightly parted, and you felt the sudden urges come forward again. You leaned in to place your lips on his feverishly, him immediately reciprocating, making you smile into the kiss. As soon as you snaked your hands up to tangle themselves in his hair, he pulled away. “I guess this must’ve been what you were thinking about, huh?” He chuckled breathlessly.
“I’m sorry.” You pulled your hands away, but Gally grabbed your hands.
“Hey, don’t be sorry.” He said softly. “Just took me by surprise, is all.”
“You don’t want to, do you?” You frowned.
“No, no, I do! I just...” He sighed. “I do. I really do. You have no idea much I want to. But, I also want you to be comfortable with it too. I would never want you to feel pressured or anything like that. I want you to be a hundred percent sure, Y/N.”
You grinned. “I’m sure, Gally. I want you.”
Gally grinned back, a light shade of red dusting his cheeks as he leaned back in to kiss you gently. He grabbed ahold of your waist, pulling you closer to him. “If for any reason you wanna stop, tell me and we can stop. Okay?”
“Promise.”
You wrapped your arms around his neck, deepening the kiss as you felt Gally’s hand travel underneath your shirt, lifting it up over your head. You did the same, smirking as you felt his fit Builders torso. Gally leaned back in to kiss you more roughly after the removal of his shirt. The feeling of his tongue dancing delicately with yours elicited a satisfied hum from you.
You laughed as you awkwardly fiddled with Gally’s belt buckle, ultimately looking to him to undo it for you. “I’ll get the hang of it eventually.” You giggled.
Gally laid you on your back, him hovering over you as he undid your pant’s button with one hand and the other resting beside your head as he tenderly kissed and sucked on your neck. He smiled when he pulled back to see you gazing at him lovingly. “You are everything to me.” Gally whispered, kissing your cheek as he slowly pulled your pants off, trailing his hands up and down your thighs.
“I love you.” You whispered back with a grin.
“You’re so beautiful.” He said after he removed your bra, leaning down to kiss between the valley of your breasts, trailing kisses down your stomach and stopping just above the lining of your underwear. “Is this okay?”
“Yes, more than okay.” You nodded eagerly.
You exhaled a shaky breath as Gally gingerly removed your undergarment, looking back to make sure you were okay with his actions. You gripped onto the blankets tightly as you started to feel his hot breath wash over your sensitive flesh, placing kisses on the inside of your thighs, brushing over the spot you wanted him most.
You were aching with anticipation already, so when Gally finally ran his tongue up your folds, you gasped loudly and quickly become putty in his arms.
You tried not to squirm as Gally kept up a steady pace of licking up and down your lips, causing you to softly rut against him. You let out your first moan when he finally placed pressure on your aching clit, you could’ve sworn you saw stars. Never in your life had you experienced a pleasure so powerful. You didn’t even know if Gally was experienced himself, but fuck, he was doing such a good job.
“Are you okay?”
“God, yes, Gally! Please, keep going.” You whined, desperate to keep that friction against your bundle of nerves.
Gally had to hold you down as you kept involuntarily bucking your hips, keeping that delicious pressure on your clit with his tongue. You moaned loudly as he inserted a finger into your entrance slowly, the sting of him stretching you only adding to the warm pleasure on your clit. “You feel so good, Gal.” You panted, biting the skin of the back of your hand to try and stifle your loud moans.
Adding a second finger inside you and keeping up the pace with his tongue, you soon started to feel intense shocks course through you occasionally, it felt foreign but so amazing. Your moans got louder as the shocks got stronger, bringing your other hand down to hold on to Gally’s hand tightly. “Gal, I think I’m gonna-”
Your eyes closed tightly as you felt waves of electrifying pleasure run through your whole body, causing you to almost shake erratically, a mix of a grunt and moan escaping your throat.
You panted heavily as Gally smirked, coming back up to kiss you. You blushed furiously when you noticed the shine on his nose and chin. “Sorry.” You grinned sheepishly, bringing a hand up to wipe some of yourself off his face.
Gally shook his head with a smile, turning his head to kiss your hand. He gasped suddenly when you gently stroked him through his boxer briefs. “You know, you still don’t have to.” He said, holding in a groan.
“I want you to come too.” You said, your innocent sounding voice juxtaposing the not so innocent statement.
“You sure?” You answered by pulling his briefs down to his knees, giving him a soft kiss. “Okay then.” Gally smiled nervously, him pulling his briefs all the way off his body.
Gally soon lined himself up with your slick entrance. He wanted you to come first just in case you couldn’t handle his size and you had to stop, he wanted to give you the best first experience possible, even if he couldn’t have you. He wanted to give you everything, but he couldn’t bare the thought of hurting you. So, he asked one more time, “Is this okay?”
“I’ll be okay, Gally. I promise to tell you if I want to stop.” You kisses his cheek, assuring him this is what you wanted.
Gally nodded gently, slowly pushing himself in, carefully watching your facial expressions to see if you were in pain.
Your breath caught in your throat, the size of him surprising you and making you bite your lip to keep from crying out. He was big enough to the point it stung as he pushed himself in, but you knew you were strong enough to wait, so you stayed quiet about the slight ache.
Gally stopped, waiting for you to adjust. You started to grind against him, getting used to him before you nodded. “I’m okay.” You smiled. Gally started a slow pace, still scared of accidently hurting you, but you moaning in pleasure gave him the indication that you were enjoying yourself.
Gally buried his head in your shoulder as he thrusted at a faster pace, his lack of experience causing him to be close already. He groaned softly as he felt your nails dig into his back for support, but he was surprised at how nice the sting actually felt. You moaning his name is what eventually sent him over the edge, holding on tightly to your wrists as he thrusted faster. He pulled out of you, rubbing himself until he came onto your bare stomach with a loud moan.
Gally fell back down beside you with a heavy sigh, both of you sweaty panting messes. But you started giggling happily, causing Gally to giggle right along with you. “I didn’t know it would feel that good.” You said after catching your breath.
Gally grinned, pulling you close to him and laying a blanket over your naked bodies, still trying to stifle a few giggles due to the post coital high. “If jerking off gave me any indication, I had a feeling it would be even better.”
You rolled your eyes. “You have me for that now.” You joked.
“You are absolutely right.”
It felt like hours that you two just stayed there, laying there with your head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat slowly calm down as he relaxed. You smiled sleepily as you thought about how you’d do anything for this boy, how you loved him more than anything in the whole world.
~~~~~~~~~~
literally listening to Isabella’s Lullaby from The Promised Neverland on a 5 hour loop is how I managed to keep myself from writing rough smut lmao. Can you tell I have a boner for consent? Consent is so fucking sexy though like for real 🥵
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shaydeoffical · 3 years
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Let’s Slip Away: Diluc x Fem Reader: Childhood Best Friend Au
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Summary: You and Diluc slip away from the annual Dawn Winery Ball and confess. Reader then deals with some anxiety about the relationship and Diluc soothes them.  
Tags:
Lots of fluff, Creepus is a wonderful person, Diluc is so smooth, dancing under the moonlight, long fit.  
Diluc x Reader
Lets Slip Away
The annual Dawn Winery Masquerade Ball, the biggest ball this side of Mondstat, or it used to be. Thankfully, Diluc had successfully scaled the ball down in size a little more with each passing year. Still, it didn't make much of a difference with the ballroom still being packed tight. No matter how the guest list shrunk, people found a way to take up the same amount of space as before. There's nothing I loved more than a dance, but it was the people I couldn't stand. Everyone liked to pretend they were an evil aristocrat once their identity was concealed. A fancy dress, a decorative mask, and a new hairstyle, and everyone felt invincible. It was the same thing every year; they'd order the staff around, drink till they lost control, and leave the manor a mess. It was deplorable.
After watching a woman toss a glass on one of the maids, I lost my cool. I may or may not have tossed my grape juice on the women in retribution. The maid couldn't do it, so I had to use my position as "Master" Diluc's best friend to get away with it. What I didn't expect was for the lady's husband to toss not just the wine but the whole glass at my face. While the glass didn't bust when the base hit my head, it did leave a notable bruise, and the wine soaked through my hair, mask, and dress.
Elzer stepped in immediately to settle the issue, and instead of sticking around to get a lecture, I slipped into the garden. Hiding between several grapevines. I listened to the music pour from the house above and pouted. If I had played my cards right tonight, I would have been dancing in an empty corner with Turner or maybe even Diluc if he was free. He always saved the last dance for me. When the party started to clear a little, we'd stay in my favorite corner and have a quick dance while he whispered about he'll find a way to have the event canceled next year. But no, I was being eaten by mosquitos fighting off a headache.
Holding my mask between my hands, the once white fabric had stained dark red. Even my cream dress was littered with splotches that wrecked of dandelion wine. Sucking in my lower lip, I held back a sudden wave of sadness. It settled into my bones and swept through my limbs in a jitter. Why was I so sad? I avenged the maid and did the right thing… but my chest ached.   Curling around myself, I tucked my head between my lap. There was a time and place for crying, and a party wasn't one. Yet, there I was, sobbing into the fancy gown Diluc had hand made for me. Of course, he wouldn't be mad at me for what happened, but the guilt was eating me alive. I had ruined the evening for myself and made things harder on my friend. "There you are. I've been looking all over-. Hey, Elzer told me what happened, but he didn't mention a welt. How badly are you hurt?" Diluc pushed through the vines faster and hopped over the last row. He knelt beside me and carefully lifted my chin so he could see my face. "I'm just being a baby." I leaned back, the moonlight catching my skin. He ran his thumb over the knot on my forehead, and he clenched his teeth. "Damn bastard." He looked back at the mansion. "He might be wearing a mask, but there's only one person in Mondstat with monogram shoe buckles." "What?" I laughed; he was so serious, but the idea of a monogram shoe buckle had me drying up my tears. "Who pays for that kind of thing?" "Mr. Barker." Diluc wiped under my eyes. "Are you hurt anywhere besides your head?" "Besides the guilt of running the dress you got me and making the party harder for you to manage, I'm fine." I let it out. There was no use in pretending it wasn't bothering me. I had learned a lot about Diluc in our years of being together. While he was a very perceptive man when it came to solving crimes and putting things together, he didn't have the same skill for guessing how I felt. He's known something was wrong before, but he'd just find ways to blame himself if I didn't tell him. "I'll have you another dress made, and those Barkers aren't your fault. Ms. Barker started it, and I ended it. There's always a little drama at these events." He twirled my hair around his finger. "I'm sorry I wasn't there to stop it entirely." "Don't go blaming yourself now." I scooted so close; I was almost in his lap. "Let's just focus on the music or the sky. I know you'll have to go back in soon, so let's just relax for a moment." "Hmm, I can hear it from here. It's nice." A soft number started to play, and people passing by the window cast shadows into the courtyard. He leaned his head against mine. Minutes passed by, and the song changed, both of us just settling our nerves. "So, I guess we won't have the last dance together this year." I hummed, the thought burning at the back of my mind. "I can't go back in there like this." I forced myself to laugh, trying to get it off my chest without sounding too sad. "We don't have to go back in. Elzer can handle the end of the night speech for me, like every year." Diluc stood, reaching his hand out to me. "Milady, may I have this dance?" "Diluc…of course, you may." I pushed my insecurities down and gripped his rough hand. Being wealthy, Diluc had been trained in many different types of formal ballroom dances. When he was in the zone, there was no one but Kaeya who could match his prowess and aura. But I wasn't blessed with the same background. I was just the daughter of the maid, and while my mother was paid well, there wasn't enough money to pay for a dance instructor. However, Diluc taught me everything he knew. We use to spend hours after his class, practicing and gliding around the living room. After some time, I even got to join the classes as Diluc and Kaeya's partner. Creepus convinced my mother it was just good practice for the boys, but looking back, he just wanted me to get that experience as well. "You okay?" Diluc gently gripped my waist as I spun back into his arms. "Yes, I was just thinking about when you taught me how to dance." I closed the gap between us and started moving with the song. Diluc took charge after a few more movements, and I gave up trying to lead. It was always a fun game for us to try to take charge, but I normally gave in fairly fast. Every now and then, he'd let me lead, but I often stepped on his toes when I did.   The ground wasn't level as a dance floor, so it was easier to just follow Diluc. Since he took the first step, he was able to find the best footholds. When we did hit a small hump, we'd steady each other and share a small smile. It wasn't a seamless performance like when we were on solid ground, but it was fun. It also gave us a reason to cling tighter to each other. His broad chest was always so warm; there was nothing more pleasant than laying my head there and closing my eyes as we swayed under the moon. "That was always so much fun." Diluc spun me out, then back into his arms. "Father use to watch us practice, he never told me directly, but Elzer said it was one of his favorite memories." Diluc pressed his lips into a line, eyes turning back to the manor. "He always loved this event, but I can't help but hate it." "I'm not a fan of the crowds or the entitled guests. But I do enjoy dancing with you." I laid my head on his shoulder, bringing him back to the present. "It seems we only dance when this event rolls around. And I can't help but wish for more moments like this. So, while I understand your distaste, I do think Creepus had the right idea. This is a chance for all of us to come together do something we all loved…it just is hard to enjoy when other people are so entitled." "I feel the same way. Dancing with you, it's always my favorite part of the ball." We swayed back and forth in a tight embrace, the music fading out and our footwork growing sloppy. "There's been so much to do recently. I'm afraid I've neglected you." "Mother told me that as friends get older, drifting apart is normal… I'm just glad you're still here with me. No matter how short that time is." He hugged me tighter, inhaling a sharp breath. "Maybe friends do, but my feelings for you are much stronger than just friends." I gasped before I could stop myself. Crickets chirped in the distance, and the lighting bugs emerged just as the party started to close. This moment was very much real…but did he really just confess? "You want to be with me?" I slowly looked up, grabbing the sides of his suit. "As more than friends?" "I do." He pulled back a little, glancing at the ground. "How do you feel? Could you ever love me as more than a friend? I know it's selfish to ask that of you, given the dangers that follow my line of duty. But I can't deny myself any longer." "My heart is going to jump out of my chest, Luc." Grasping his hand, I pressed it to my wrist. He smiled, rubbing his thumb over my pulse. "I want to be yours, and you mine. To be honest, I've had feelings for you for a while now. I just thought you didn't return them." Heat climbed up my face, and I looked away to hide it. While his confession was so smooth, mine was energetic and messy. Why couldn't I keep it calm? "That settles it then." He stepped closer, our eyes locking and fingers lacing. "We'll be together from here on out." A warm breeze went by, picking up the bottom of my ruined skirt. "Next time there's a dance, you won't have to leave my side, nor I yours. There will be no flying wine glasses or uncouth guests. We can dance the night away without worry or interruption." "I don't know if a party could ever go that smoothly." I pushed his hair back and cupped his face. "Unless we barred over half the guest list." "If you don't think I'd do that, then you underestimate how far I'll go to make you happy." His checks tined red, barely illuminated by the moon. "Oh, I don't doubt you, Master Diluc. But I'm not hard to please, we could dance in the living room like we use to, and I'd be the happiest person alive." I tugged him closer, wrapping my arms around his hips, and swaying to an imaginary beat. "It's not often you add my title before my name." He hummed, letting me lead us to the song in my head. "Master Diluc, whatever do you mean?" I batted my eyelashes and snickered. "I didn't realize I added it. Maybe it's where I've spent most of the night talking about you, and not to you that I've forgotten how to be relaxed. There was many a guest who wanted to pry about your love life." "Well, you have a definitive answer now, Lady Amber." He kissed the top of my head, stopping for a moment. His body radiated a wave of heat, and he nodded to himself. "It's starting to get cold. We should head inside before you catch a cold. I'm sure everyone's left by now." "I don't want this moment to end." I clung to his shirt, the warmth he emitted making my eyelids grow heavy. Whenever he allowed me to use him as a personal heater, I took the chance. But this was the first time I didn't worry about it being the last.   "We have many more moments like this ahead of us." He supported me as we walked towards the mansion, looping his arm around my waist. "Let's go clean up, and turn in for the night. Tomorrow we can have breakfast and go for a ride along the river. How does that sound?" "It sounds so nice." Once we were back in the house, Elzer met us in the doorway. "Where have you been, Master Diluc?" He rubbed the bridge of his nose and glanced at me. "And you, Ms. Amber, what were you thinking tossing your drink? You completely ruined the night. I could hardly contain the guests" Diluc wrapped his arm around my shoulder, and Elzer's tone sifted from miffed to muted. "Elzer, the issue was with the guests, not Amber." He steered me towards the stairs, nudging me along. "Go on to bed. I'll be up there in a moment. I have some business to finish up." Diluc walked towards his office, motioning for Elzer to follow him. Elzer shot me a perplexed look and tried to mouth out, 'be more careful' before hurrying after Diluc. I whisper back, "okay," before taking the stairs two at a time before stopping. I wasn't going to get in trouble, so I might as well show I'm not ashamed. "Goodnight Elzer," I called after the older man, with as "pleasant" of a tone as I could muster. Parties almost always stressed him more than Diluc, but since Elzer was an employee, he couldn't run and hide like Luc. Truth be known, if Diluc hadn't been there, I would have gotten a long lecture on the importance of keeping good relations with potential business partners. But that's only because Elzer couldn't let his frustrations out on anyone else. I was always there to listen and receive his distain when things went wrong. It wasn't my favorite pastime, but it did help him feel better. It was surprising he was so stressed, he actually chastised me in front of Diluc. It must have been a tough night even after I left. I usually was lectured in private, but he really was ready to let me have it.   Once in the guest room, I disrobed. The heavy gown took several minutes to untie and loosen the laces, but once it was done, my lungs could fully expand. My ribs ached, so I rubbed circles on my sides till the initial throb dulled. The night had gone better than I ever planned, and now it was over. Yet, there was a worse throb in my chest than the pain of a corset. Diluc and I were finally together. We removed the ever-lingering question and just confessed. Why did it hurt inside? Was it that the party was hard on everyone else and I was so happy? Or was it something else? Tilling the blue pitcher on the nightstand, water rushed into the ornate basin below. Dipping a rag into the cool water, I began to wash the wine from my face. It had been such a stressful night. Perhaps the empty feeling inside was fear of the unknown. Or fear that Diluc would wake up and change his mind. That he'd send me away for good once he realized he could never be with someone of such low status. Someone who didn't couldn't even keep up public appearance at a ball. Maybe, it would just take me slipping up once when I was wearing a mask? Then he'd send me away from the manor. I finished cleaning up, then tossed the water out the window. Fixing the pitcher and basin back in place, I reached below the nightstand and pulled out my nightgown. Slipping on the flowy gown, I turned down my sheets and got comfortable. This guest room had been mine for as long as I could remember. While I still lived in the cottage by the river with my mother, I spent more nights at the mansion than at home. Diluc and I would rush through his paperwork every night, and I'd help get his gear ready to go protect Mondstat. I was his sidekick in many ways. Spending so much time there at night, it just made sense for me to sleep here too. We were a great team. Plus, the close proximity made things easier and less suspicious… But that wasn't the whole truth. It was more so that my mother had met someone new, and he had moved into our shared home. He was a nice man, a retired Knight of Favonius, but I just couldn't relax around him. He was stern about me not going out after dark, so staying over at the mansion became more and more frequent. Which was better for mom and Mr.Godfrey's partnership. But while I spent more nights away, mom started to believe there was something between Diluc and me, so she was happy to see me leave home. She was going to be overjoyed to hear the news that we confessed. Though, I'm sure she'll say kicking me out was the reason we finally admitted our feelings, which was not the whole truth. Still, I did miss my own bed sometimes. Pressing my back to the headboard, I curled my knees up and rested my head between them. Sucking in a deep breath, small tears slipped past again. There was too much happening. I couldn't think about one thing for too long. So much good just happened. Why? Why was I thinking about the bad? A familiar rasp at the door rang through the room. "Come in." Wiping my eyes, I sat up and pulled the covers up to my neck. "You're crying again." He walked into the candlelight. I could tell he had cleaned up before coming to see me. He was wearing one of his loose puffy shirts and some cotton pants; his hair had been smoothed and pulled into a low ponytail, water dripping from the ends. It didn't matter what he wore. He always looked unbelievably handsome. "Was it Elzer? He knows it's not your fault. He was just worried about our trade deal." "There's just so much to think about. I can't let myself be happy." I rubbed my eyes again. "What if you realize I'm not good enough for you? Or what if my mother's partner treats you poorly because you quit the Knights? Then that couple, what if they stop working with you and it hurts the business because of me? No one is ever going to see me as anything more than a gold digger." My brain let loose, new concerns and problems being added to my mix. "I'm so negative right now, and I know you probably just want to be happy that we feel the same way…but- I'm so sorry. "He pulled back the covers and crawled in with me. Wrapping me in his arms, the blanket went over our heads, and Diluc settled down. "There you go, having to comfort me like a child." I rested my hand on his shoulder. "You sure you could learn to love a mess like me?" "I already love you." He rubbed patterns on my back, pressing a kiss to the lump on my forehead. "You've been like this since we were children, plagued with worries beyond your control. I know that after you let it out, you always feel better. And that the minute you go silent, that's when I really need to do some digging." He paused drawing on my back and instead moved to play with my hair. "We'll figure it all out as we go, all the what's and if's. We'll take them one at a time, starting with the one I have control over." "Woah." He flipped me over, hovering inches from my face. He pinned me between his legs, the v neck of his shirt hanging open so I could see the red hairs on his chest. "You could be from the richest family in Mondstat or poorest, and I'd still want to be with you." He kissed me, pressing down just until our bodies touched. "I'd go as far as to say, if you were a member of the Fatui, I'd still be smitten. I would certainly find a way to break your ties with them, but I couldn't stop loving you. So, you are more than enough for me, and if anyone makes you feel differently, then I will handle it." "That's a bold statement coming from you." I ran my fingers through his ponytail as it hung over his shoulder. "I can't argue with that logic, but I promise I'm not a member of the Fatui." I wrapped my arms around his waist, encouraging him to squish me with his full weight. "I'm going to crush you." He fought against me, but I only nuzzled his neck, blowing raspberries. "Amber, hey." "I know. But I'd also like to point out how improper it is for you to be in my room at this hour. So, I'd like to be crushed as repayment… please." I let go of one side of his hip and wiped my eyes. "You are right. It is improper." He lowered himself a little more but didn't fully lay on me. "A true gentlemen would never stay this late with a proper young lady. However, there is something else I want that's a little scandalous." "What could that be?" I gasped, my lungs not fully expanding as his weight sunk down on my chest. He noticed as he sat up to his previous position. "A kiss?" He moved his elbow up and cupped my face. His eyes glimmered with the flame that was lighting up the room. His touch was gentle but so firm I couldn't imagine being in another person's embrace. At that moment, there were only two people in the world, and I was madly in love with one of them.   "That sounds quite proper to me. You should always kiss your lover goodnight." I stuttered a little, unable to keep up the playful banter as I looked at his lips. The smile that spread on his face made the butterflies in my stomach flutter. Archons, I was smitten.   His thumb brushed my lower lip before he brought his mouth down for a chaste kiss. Testing the waters, he hovered millimeters above me, and I stole his lips in a deeper kiss. Having a lack of experience in the field, I matched the pattern he set. Just like dancing, I tried to take the lead and failed miserably. So I did was I was best at, adding the fun flourishes. I curled my fingers into his hair and snaked my hand up his shirt and across his chest. He matched my movements, caressing my face and tilting my head up to deepen the kiss. Every star in the sky dulled in comparison to the explosion of light that spread over my body. He shifted back, catching his breath. he smoothed my hair and peppered, kissing around my face before setting back. "Thank you." He laced our fingers together, pulling my hand to his mouth and kissing my knuckles.     "Will you stay tonight?" I took our intertwined hands and kissed his knuckles in return. "I don't want you to leave just yet." "As you wish." He got behind me, adjusting the covers we had tossed around earlier. "Now, let's get some sleep. We have a big day tomorrow." I laid my head on my pillow and scooted back until we were slotted against each other. His hand wrapped around my shoulders in a reassuring squeeze. "I love you." "I love you more." It took a while for all the blood pumping through my body to relax again, but once it did, I fell into a deep and peaceful sleep. Dreams of dancing through the clouds with Diluc filled my head, and I had the best rest of my entire life. Next to the man I dearly loved.   
The End
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writing-in-april · 3 years
Text
Postmarked In The Past
Spencer Reid x Female Single Mom Reader
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Summary: After sixteen years of no contact Reader reconnects with Spencer because she has to reveal the secret she’s been keeping since she stopped sending letters to him.
A/N: Hey heyyy! This is my sixteenth fic (it’s actually was totally unintentional to choose the 16th for this fic even though the daughter is 16 in this fic lol 😂) for my 30 fics in 30 days for April!! This one is based off of this request and is part of my unlinked Spencer Reid & Letters series! Thanks for all the love and support lately- I was going to put out my plan for my 1500 follower celebration yesterday or today but if you saw my post I’ve been struggling so it’ll probably come on the 19th or the 20th. Submit an ask here- I love hearing from everyone 🥰Thanks for reading and hope y’all enjoy 🥰
Warnings: Reader keeps a huge secret she definitely shouldn’t have, Reader is a single mother-the daughter doesn’t have a specified name but she is specified to be 16, Reader is very defensive when her daughter finds the letters, mentions of a one night stand
Main Masterlist Word Count: 2.5k
Spencer had been a bright spot in my life, one that had been snuffed out all because of me. When I had found myself pregnant with his child, after I had visited him once, I bolted. For a long time I justified my actions, saying to myself that it was better that Spencer was unburdened while his career was just starting out. But, deep down I knew how wonderful Spencer would have been as a father, how he would have moved heaven and earth to make everything work. And, that guilt haunted me.
The memories I had of him were so far in between, every moment with him had been so fleeting at the end. I struggled to sometimes even remember how he looked as it had been sixteen years since I last laid eyes on him.
I had to strain my memory to remember the way his gelled hair curled around his ears and how sometimes I saw him let the curls free only around me. His eyes had been brown, I could remember that. But, pinpointing what shade they were when they glinted in the light or were drenched in the shadows was lost to me. I knew he had been tall and lanky, his hands reflecting that with how spindly they were. To remember how those fingers had felt on my skin, or how his lips had marked me, or how he would gently stroke my hair was too difficult. Whether it was because I couldn’t remember or that I didn’t want to, it was just too hard for me to want to try to strain my memory anymore.
The labor had been the most difficult thing I had gone through, no one had been there to hold my hand. And, I didn’t really want anybody else except Spencer holding it. I had gritted my teeth and accepted it, pushing through the physical and emotional pain, especially since the pain of losing Spencer had been entirely because of me. I had been given a beautiful baby daughter that day and it was then that I started to force myself to forget Spencer, she looked too much like him to be able to bear.
The only things that remained in my life that involved him were the letters I sent to him in the last year of our relationship while we were long distance and my daughter. The letters were able to be shoved in a box at the bottom of a closet, but my daughter confronted me with my actions everyday by existing. I loved my daughter very much, I just tried to avoid the topic of her father by concocting a lie and making myself forget all of Spencer’s features so I wouldn’t see them as much in her. My nightmare would be the two things converging to confront me with my guilt, I don’t think I could handle that.
—-
At the kitchen table I saw my daughter, holding a letter. Her holding a letter wasn’t at its core a bad thing of course, but I could tell by the slight yellowing of the paper that it was getting old. Immediately panic spread through me; there were no other old letters she’d be looking at besides mine, the ones I sent to Spencer.
“Those are private.” I snapped defensively, definitely too hostile to be reasonable. It was obvious by my tone of voice that I was hiding something.
“Private?!” She yelled, giving away that she had already read at least a few of them. I clenched my eyes shut to prepare for her question, “Are these from my father?! Who you said was a one night stand?!” I vividly remember explaining the lie I had concocted for her, her being confused why I would only be with her father once. It was a hard subject to dance around, a difficult lie for me and her to swallow. But, the alternative was too painful for me to be honest with her, or honest with Spencer. And, I knew it made me selfish, at the time it had been so Spencer wouldn’t stop his blossoming career. With time I realized that I really had done it because I had been scared. The guilt had started to sting worse when I realized that.
I had been caught, there was no weaseling out of this. I hanged my head in defeat, finally admitting to the large lie I had even roped the rest of my family in, “Yes.”
If she had been a dragon she’d be breathing fire on me while she spoke, “And why would you keep this from me! Did he do something bad or something?! Is that why you didn’t tell me?!”
“No-I-“ I stammered a few times until I found the words, “I- I did it because I didn’t want to hold him back… We were so young, and I knew he’d quit his new job across the country to come back to me.” Keeping the details still vague was my only armor right now. I kept to myself how those letters were the way we communicated for months when he started in the academy. We were only able to meet up once a month, and one month I unexpectedly fell pregnant. I never sent another letter or came to visit him again once I found out.
She clenched her jaw at me, looking back down at the scores of letters that we had written, and I had hidden. Her next question now made me clench my jaw, “C-can I see him? Or call him? Or send him a letter?” If you don’t know how to contact him anymore I’m sure we can-“
I was nervous as to where this was going. There was no way I could contact Spencer again after all these years, the guilt already ate at me everyday. Seeing and remembering his face would only make it worse. Fear was fueling me and I cut her off because of it, “No- I- I don’t think it’s a good idea...I just need more time- until I’m ready.” I started to shrink away from her, my authority slipping through my fingers as I became more and more vulnerable.
“You’ve waited sixteen years, you’ll never be ready.” The spite in her voice was stinging, she wasn’t completely wrong in her statement.. And when I didn’t answer she then stormed away, slamming the door to her room.
——
Our relationship in the few weeks following was strained at best, estranged at worse. She barely spoke to me since then, the biggest conversation we had was about what was for dinner- and that had been about two sentences long.
I was slowly coming around to the idea of perhaps finding a way for her and Spencer to reconnect. The guilt that I had been so afraid of becoming worse if I confronted it head on, only grew worse by avoiding it. I was actually going to talk to her after I got home from work, until I realized what she did.
She left her own letter on the table titled Dear Mom, detailing where she was going without giving any specifics. There was one part that gave her reasoning for writing her plan down, she didn’t want me to have a heart attack even if she was mad at me. Plus there were a few sentences about how she had used her own money that she had been saving up, which was supposed to be for college only serving to make you even more frustrated. At the bottom she wrote- I’m going to find my Dad, please don’t follow me or call the police.
I scoffed to myself, wondering if she expected her warning to not to follow her to be followed. Of course I was going to follow her, there was no way I was going to just let her go off on her own like that.
It wouldn’t be too hard to find her. Spencer may have changed apartments since then, but one quick google search of news articles he was mentioned in showed me that he still worked at the BAU in Quantico. It was probably a safe bet that my daughter did the same thing and was planning on visiting him at his office.
The plane ride there had been tumultuous, not in the sense that there was any chaotic occurrence or severe turbulence on the plan, more like in my mind. My hands shook, my foot tapped, and my mind raced while I took the long flight from Las Vegas all the way to Quantico. My mind went round in circles whether or not I viewed Spencer meeting my daughter- our daughter as a good thing. It was difficult to accept that even though they’d both most likely be mad at me, they deserved to meet. Especially since I knew how good of a father Spencer could potentially be. Once I had landed I didn’t stop, getting a cab straight from the airport to where the BAU offices were located.
The building looked daunting in front of me. It wasn’t a skyscraper by any means, but the task that I was here to do was so big it felt like one as I stared at it while trying to work up the courage to go in. The guilt however, was too hard to ignore.
My mind was on autopilot as I told the secretary at one of the front desks. It was too stressful to focus on worrying, so exhausted from the emotional roller coaster I was riding. An agent had assured me that she was safe which made some of the stress melt from my shoulders luckily.
“Here she is.” The agent gestured to the office, empty of any other person except my daughter. I felt even more relieved now that I saw her with my own eyes.
When I entered she waited a second before speaking timidly with disappointment, “He’s not here, he's on a case.” Her demeanor had deflated almost immediately as she saw me escorted up.
“Who told you that?” My arms crossed around my chest, nervous and furious all at once. I didn’t need to tell my daughter how in trouble she was, by the pout on her face she knew she’d be getting grounded for a long time even if I did let her talk to him.
“This nice lady named Garcia, she works with him. But, she did tell me I had to wait for you until she called him” For the first time since I had read her letter to me I cracked a smile. When we had still been communicating, Spencer often wrote and spoke about his teammates. Besides a fleeting photo of the team shown to me by him while I had been over here visiting, all my perceptions of the team and how they might look were all based on my imagination.
Despite that, when a vibrantly dressed woman clicked her heels into the room, I knew it was her. Spencer had perfectly described her, shining bright compared to the dull colors of the bureau’s office.
“So your Spencer’s baby mama.” Yep, she was definitely as blunt and beautiful as Spencer had described. I blanched at her comment, though I didn’t deny it, which was all she needed to know to confirm.
“Can you give me his number?” I skittered past the question, not wanting to confirm it out loud.
She beamed brightly at me, already starting to punch in the numbers with the phone on the desk in front of me. “You can call him now if you want on this phone, they just stopped working for the day.”
When she handed me the phone, it had already started ringing. I couldn’t help but panic, almost refusing the phone until my daughter nudged me forward to grab it. My finger trembled severely as I wrapped my hands around the phone, but I still managed to hold on to bring it up to my ear just as someone picked up the phone.
“Hello?” It was him, he sounded so similar to the boy you knew, that boy was a man now. He sounded more haggard compared to sixteen years ago; I wondered what all had happened since then.
“Hey- Spencer it’s me.” By the hitch in his voice that came through the speaker, he knew who it was.
At first I heard nothing from him, only some rustled feedback in the speaker. My shoulders were practically at my ears now afraid he might hang up. He did eventually stumble out a greeting, “H-hi? Why are you calling me after all these years- aaand on a phone at my work?”
“I’ve got to be honest with you,” I cryptically answered with an evident shake in my voice. I was biting my nails now, not caring if I chipped the polish on them. My daughter grabbed my hand to comfort me even though she was probably still furious at me which helped coax out my next statement, “cause I haven’t told you why I stopped talking to you…” I breathed in deeply once before I finally admitted the secret I had held for so many years, “Spencer, you have a daughter, she just turned sixteen.”
Dead silence was all I got, that was until I heard a choked out sob from him, “Why?”
He didn’t need to elaborate any further, it was quite clear what he was asking. Again another meek shaky reply came from me, “There were a lot of reasons- the main one was I didn’t want to hold you back.”
My daughter was now crying as was I, I hadn’t given her my reasoning until now. Maybe one day I’d give Spencer all the reasons why I had hidden it from him for so many years even though it was painful. I had held a lot of guilt about not ever contacting him again or even sending another letter. Spencer deserved to know everything, especially about his daughter who was the spitting image of him in almost every way.
“Can I talk to her?” I agreed, which seemed to surprise my daughter. I think she thought I’d be furious enough with her to not let her speak to him. She would still be getting many privileges taken away from her, just not this one as it was my fault she never knew her father in the first place. My fingers shook even more as I moved to click the speaker button so he could hear her speak.
“Hi- dad.” They spoke for a while, while I took the back seat, barely interjecting. They both deserved every ounce of father and daughter time that I had deprived them from throughout the years. My chest did feel lighter now that I had told him, now that my daughter was getting the chance to know him. Hearing them laugh and giggle with each other almost immediately only cemented how much she was her father’s daughter.
When the phone was handed back to me, after seemingly hours of talking (Garcia had even popped in a few times to get me more coffee) Spencer asked,“Can you stay in Quantico till I get back?”
I smiled, happy that I’d finally be able to see and remember his face again after all this time, “We’ll be here waiting, it’s time you meet your daughter in person.”
Ask Me Anything
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kaylathekittykat225 · 3 years
Text
Carnival Ride of Horror // Steve Harrington x Reader
Carnival of Horror // SH
Warning/s: Cursing, laughing at inappropriate times, (very minimal) mentions/implications of abuse/stalking (just wanna warn, its super small but just in case!)
Word Count: 3.5k
Hey guys! It’s been a bit since I’ve written, lemme tell you, life has been kinda crappy and its just a little less crappy now! So I decided to start pecking at the keyboard again and this is what came of it! This lovely person requsted this work and I just got around to starting to really write because I had a free week. Anywhoodles, it’s good to write something again and I hope yall enjoy it!
Again thank you for this idea @seraphiiii
omg i came across your post about writing ideas in my feed and got so excited to see both steve harrington and young justice in the tags lmao. but i think a steve harrington x reader where reader and him go to an amusement park and reader is terrified of the rides so he’s like comforting her throughout them and encouraging her but also laughing (in a good natured way obvi) about how scared she is and stuff? i think that would be so cute!!
Here’s my Masterlist.
Enjoy.
-----
“Stevie, when we agreed to have a date night away from the kids, I didn't think we would be going into a mass of more kids.” As he pulled the keys out, you stared at the bright light shining machinery that had been set in the middle of a field outside the city. The annual summer fair had finally made its way to Hawkins, and it had left a buzz in the air as everyone planned when they would go, talked about what rides had come this year, who their ride buddy would be; it had been all the kids had been talking about for weeks. They put a day together the coming weekend to go as a group and they planned to drag Steve and you along on the off chance that they needed an “adult” to allow them on the rides.
Funny how they assumed either Steve or you knew how to adult.
“Cause I thought it would be a nice change from us just watching movies or having dinner.”
“Oh, so dino nuggets are no longer date-worthy for you.” Steve almost took you seriously, but he saw the grin that has graced your lips at your own comment. He relaxed a little knowing that you weren’t upset with his idea for date night, but he had always wanted to kiss someone at the top of a Ferris Wheel, and he would do anything to get you to the top of the rotating ride.
“So, you’re not mad that I chose here for tonight?” You shook your head and pulled at the door handle separating the two of you from the outside life.
“Of course not Stevie, I just thought it was an interesting choice.” The smile you chose to have was one that hopefully convinced him that you were okay with where the pair of you were going, even if you weren’t happy with the choice.
You can be happy with the idea of going to a carnival as long as you don’t go on-”Cool, so what ride do you want to do first?”
“Shit.” The world slipped out before you could stop yourself as Steve finished paying for your tickets and asked what you had said. “Nothing just kicked myself. Um…” You looked around frantically for something to do that wasn’t flashing brightly and spinning faster than the legal highway speed. “Let’s go over there!”
Steve followed your hand as he saw you point towards the stands of games that were rigged and way too fricking expensive, but he would do it for you. “Alright, starting out with some games I see, I like it.”
The two of you ran through a few of the games, most of them where Steve got way too into it and you had to step between them as he tried screaming that he deserved that stuffed bear/pony/cat/fish, because he almost had it every single time. He did beat out the basketball one, one of the last ones the two of you did on that strip, bolstering his confidence just enough to get him into a cheery enough mood.
“Alright! We played some games, and let the crazies test out the rides so I’m pretty sure they won’t break down on us. Which one should we do first? They got a drop tower, or how about the pit viper swings? Or, or, or how about we…” The night had been going enjoyable up until Steve turned to the rides you had managed to distract him from and pointed at the glowing and fast-moving monsters.
“How about we do the haunted walk over there?” Steve followed your pointing finger with a quizzical look, he hadn’t really taken note of the scary attraction before, never thought to really look to it with everything else going on. “I bet it won’t even be scary to us after everything we’ve been through right ha.”
You took off with a dry laugh without waiting for a response from him; his cries were head behind you, but the haunted house looked better than anything else around you. “Y/N.” He called you again, but you walked faster. By the time you got to the stairs leading into the building, you were practically running up them to get into the dark house with smoke billowing out of it.
“Y/N!” Your name was the last thing you heard before diving through the door and physically bumping into one of the scarers dressed as a zombie. He seemed nice, breaking character enough to ask if you were okay before you had already turned the corner and left him behind too.
Twisting and turning, you didn’t pay much mind to the screaming witches, zombies, skeletons, or anything that happened all around you; over the music and screaming, you could vaguely hear your name, giving you an indication that Steve followed you.
Not too far in, you found a quieter corner with only a couple cobwebs around it where you quickly ducked back into and tried pressing yourself into it deeper, hoping to watch Steve walk right by you.
Why the hell were you running from your boyfriend? You gained a sense of logic for a second where you paused. Why were you running? This was super childish of you and really had no reason. All Steve wanted to do was go on a few rides and you were being selfish and completely ruining what was going to be one of the few evenings you didn’t have to babysit the kids.
As the guilt started to swirl with your desire to not be found, you didn’t notice as the Frankenstein in the room had taken notice of you hiding in the corner and started to tromp over to you. “Hey, miss, you can’t be hiding in here, you gotta keep moving.”
“I’ll be out in a second, sir, let me just-” “You can’t be here-” “If you give me a second, I will leave as soon as I can-” “Miss you have to leave-” “Give me one dan minute-” “Y/N!”
Among all the screaming the Frankenstein and you had been doing was your name being called by a third and new voice along with a hand clasping onto your shoulder. Looking to the hand, you saw the unmistakable outline of the man you were hiding from. “There you are babe, why were you running off.” Just looking at the Frankenstein’s demeanor, you could tell he went into defense mode suddenly.
“Were you hiding from him miss? Are you okay? Do you feel safe?” The painted man moved to step between you and Steve in an attempt to separate you two.
“Whoa, whoa buddy, back off. She’s my girlfriend, chill out.” Steve tried stepping around the man o little success.
“Oh, your girlfriend? And she’s running from you? I don’t think this is looking very good for you, buddy.” The two were shooting back and forth at each other, getting chest to chest, and starting to cause a larger disturbance that started o be heard over the music and background scream noises. More workers it looked like started to slip into the room and try to get the two men to quiet down, going so far as to begin threats of throwing them out of the haunted house.
You were pulled away from the situation before being pushed away and into the next room, looking like it was on its way to the exit in the next two or three rooms: your destination.
-----
“Y/N?” His voice finally chirped up next to you as Steve took a seat next to you on the grass at the edge of the carnival. “You okay?” When he saw you sitting over here, he had quickly jogged over and took her in as he did so: sitting with her face pressed into her knees and arms wrapped tightly around her legs as she kept herself in as tight of a ball as possible.
You didn’t respond at first, only moving your head to look up at your boyfriend, the person you have embarrassed tonight and most definitely pissed off with your childish antics tonight. “I’m sorry.”
“Whoa what do you have to apologize for? I’ve been worried about you and wanted to make sure that you are okay.” His hand found its way to your back and began rubbing circles into your shoulder blade.
“I was really childish today and you didn’t deserve it, all because I was scared of the stupid rides.” Your words may have been mumbles, but he heard every word clearly.
“Hold on. Babe, did you say you were scared of the rides?” Your small and timid nod was enough for him to understand. “Why didn’t you tell me? I never would have brought you here if I knew that!”
Swallowing the thick feeling in your throat, you looked up at him and saw the disappointment and hurt in his face and that hurt. “Because you were so excited about it, I thought I could get through it and do at least one or two with you. But as we got closer, I guess my nerves got the best of me and I just...ran. Like a stupid child.”
“Hey, hey, hey, no.” Steve quickly shuffled to kneel in front of you and grabbed your hands, holding them in his own and your legs fell down to where you were now criss cross apple sauce. “I’m not gonna force you to do any of these rides if you don’t wanna. If you want to just go home, we can make this a movie night if that works better for you.”
“No, Stevie,” His mouth quirked up at this name. “You already bought the tickets; I don’t want you to waste the money you earned because I’m a scaredy cat.”
Steve took a second to think, racking his brain on how to salvage what has been an eventful evening. “How about…” He paused again and just stared at you with you staring back at him, waiting to hear what he wanted to say. “You can say no, how about we try a few rides, to try and get you on some. If you don’t like riding after one, we can go home, and you can at least say you did it.”
Mulling this idea over in your head, your eyes shifted from where your boyfriend sat in front of you to the bright and joyous scream filled rides were. “I suppose they don’t all look so bad.” You murmured to him, staring particularly at the giant Ferris Wheel that turned, a small memory from early on in your relationship popping into your head. Steve had mentioned a few times that his dream date would be to take a girl up on a Ferris Wheel and cuddle her and kiss her when they got to the top.
“Okay, we can try a few.” Though shaky, your voice was a little stronger this time and you gave Steve a small smile.
“You sure?” A nod. “Okay, I’ll let you choose which one we go on, okay?” Another nod.
Together, the two of you stood to your feet and approached the hustle and bustle of the carnival grounds again. “What did that Frankenstein do to you? I hope he didn’t get you in trouble or anything.” You asked as you laced your hand with Steve while the other went to hold onto his arm, squeezing it slightly as you got closer to the machines and your stomach growing heavy again.
“Oh him, he didn’t do much, just tried scaring me when he though I was some creep chasing you.” He chuckled at the short story, glancing over to you as you took in the carnival for really the first time, looking for something that didn’t freak you out. “How about we start with those spinning pods over there? All they do is spin around and if you want it to, we can make it spin on the inside too.”
Following his finger, you saw what he was referring to as it did spin around, the four small egg things with windows in them were spinning on the main machinery but also appeared to be spinning on their own. As you got closer and apparently joined the line, you could see inside one of them a group of middle school boys cackling as they pulled on the weird center disk that kinda looked like a pizza pan. “Yeah, we can give it a try.” The shakiness in your voice had come back and your grip on Steve tightened.
“Hey, you got this I’ll be right here with ya.” He returned the squeeze to your hand and fishes through his pocket for two tickets to hand over at the entrance. “Up ya go.” He mutters as he helps you up the three stairs leading into the egg ride thing you were entering before he stepped in behind you and took his place next to you. You were already holding a death grip on the center console when the door was shut, and Steve sat next to you. “You know what this is?” He asked gesturing to the disk you were holding onto with the vice grip.
“Something for me to hold onto?” You shocked yourself with how violently your voice was shaking as you heard something start to rumble around you. “Oh, shit its moving.” Steve let a quick chuckle out before he stopped himself and tried explaining the center console would cause the pod thing to spin. “Fuck no! Don’t you dare make this thing spin.” Bloody murder was not even near definitive enough of how much you were screaming.
“Babe, babe calm down, it’s fine! I promise, ha!” In comparison to your screaming, Steve seemed to be having the time of his life as he laughed; at least he wasn’t making the ride spin. “Babe, babe, babe, I’m so sorry I’m laughing, I promise I didn’t mean to, but you were screaming so much! And it was hilarious!” Steve held onto his sides as he nearly fell out of the pod and waited for you to follow his laughing self. When you didn’t step out, he turned back around and saw you still had your hands clenched very tightly to the metal plate, your eyes wide and your lips pursed together. “Sweetheart, I didn’t mean to make you feel bad about the rides, do you wanna go home?”
Hearing him soften up got you to finally look at him and slowly let go of the wheel. “N-n-no. I’m…” You paused to catch your breath and steady your voice. “I’m good, I just don’t know if I can do any more of these kinds of things.” Taking his hand, you pulled yourself up and stepped out from the ride and have yourself a few seconds to remember how to use your legs.
“You okay?” You nodded at him and gave a shaky, but okay smile. “You sure you wanna do another one? Cause we can go-”
“No, no, I can do…” The carnival really did have more rides than just ones that wanted to make you die, but none that really made you want to jump on them. “Can we do the carousel? I know I can do that one at least, my mom took me on them enough as a kid to be desensitized to those ones.” Steve looked over and saw the carousel that was filled predominately by smaller children, but if you wanted to do this and it was because he bought the tickets, he couldn’t make her do something else.
“If that’s what you wanna do, then we can do the carousel all night long, babe.” You nodded at him and followed him as he took your hand and the two began the walk to the carousel.
The carousel ride was much less curse filled, thankfully. You and Steve had found a pair of horses sitting side by side and the two of you quickly claimed them. Like you had said, you did get to enjoy this ride due to having done it before and you were able to just chat between the two of you, talking about how the kids were cute, how excited you were to take the kids to the park and not have to rides. It was a fine ride, definitely better than the last one.
“You ready to go home, babe?” Steve turned to you with a smile on his face. Getting you to ride two of the rides was honestly enough for him, plus, he knew Dustin would ride all of them with him later, with you waiting at the end for him.
You were about to agree and leave this eventful evening behind you, but you saw what Steve was standing near and bit your lip. Should you do it? Could you do it? “Actually, I wanna do one more.” He gave a quick quirk of his head before he followed your eyeline and turned around.
“What? Babe, we don’t have to do that, you have been through enough today and you were great, you don’t have to prove anything.”
“But...you have been wanting to do it, you told me about it one time.” You responded a little shyly as you confessed that you were doing it back of what he told you that one time. “I just...I really want you to be able to do it.”
“You...you remembered?” Steve was kind of shocked that you remembered him mentioning it, he had told that to girls in the past, but none of them really went out of their way to think about it, hell, even to remember it. “Are you su-”
“Steve, yes, I wanna do it with you.” The grin on his face was immaculate and contagious as one grew on your face as he quickly took this well and pulled you towards the line to the Ferris Wheel and dug around in his pockets for another round of tickets.
As it went around, you felt your stomach grow heavy again when you finally saw how high it got and had to calm yourself down without causing another scene. “Come on, babe, looks like ours is up.” He gently tugged on your hand and pulled you into the seat next to him before the handlebar was lowered and locked in front of you. “And here we go!”
The squeak that left your mouth was nothing but surprise and terror as you clung onto the bar for your life, your knuckles turning white with the sheer force you were holding on. “It’s really stupid you know that the only thing holding us back from falling to our death is this small bar and it’s really stupid because was if I was reall-holy shit this is really tall!” You finally removed your hands from the bar and moved to press yourself in Steve.
You could feel him trying to stop himself from giggling as he moved his arm to wrap it around you. “You can laugh you know; I really don’t care. I’m the coward of an almost twenty-year-old who’s scared of a carnival.” A chuckle did come through as the ride kept rotating and you slowly moved closer to the bottom.
“I’m not laughing at you, babe, but the noises you are making are fricking hilarious.” His voice still held the chuckle as he pressed a kiss to the side of your head, and you responded with another squeak of shock as you started rising again.
Making it to the top again, you were waiting for it to hit its peak and for the relief of lowering the cart to begin, but instead there was a shudder before the ride stopped. “What’s going on, what’s going on, why are we stopped? Oh god we are about to die, fuck, shit, I don’t wanna die.”
“Babe, calm down, someone below us is getting off so they had to stop the ride for a bit. Remember when we had to get on? Same thing probably happened to someone else.” You nodded your head and just stared ahead to the tops of the trees you never thought you would have seen.
“It’s...it’s not too bad up here.” You finally mutter after a few beats of silence and getting your bearings. “I wouldn’t want to stay up here, but it does look nice.” Steve hummed in agreement and pulled you a little closer. “Hey Stevie?”
“Hmm?” He responded looking down at you.
“Thanks, tonight was fun.”
His face broke out into a grin again at your thanks. “Of course, thanks for giving a few of these rides a chance.” Smiling up at him, you sat a little straighter and caught his lips with your own, the two of you humming to the other that you were happy with your evening.
Though it was not as long as Steve would have wanted to stay in that moment with you (the ride started again and you broke away with another shriek), but he wouldn’t have traded that moment for anything else in his life.
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sweetcathedral · 3 years
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🕸Haikyuu! — The Butterfly’s Ripple Effect🕸
Note: Currently a developing short story as I’m trying to figure out how to format it on tumblr, so that it’s easy to read (might take me a few months for the rough draft). The plot and ending is solidified, just need to piece together the scenes. Of course all Haikyuu characters are post-timeskip, it’s easier for me to write them as adults. It doesn’t make sense, but it will when I have the whole story down!
⚠️: blowjob, raw, forceful (?), cheating, giving in to temptation
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The warmth of the sun gently wakes you up, making you flutter your lashes and wince at the brightness of the room. Memories of last night play back in your head as you pull the covers over you, but you look around to see that there was no sign of Kuroo. You hesitate to go back to sleep or look around the house to see if the others were okay from last night, since it wasn’t as loud as it should be.
“G’morning,” Kenma was leaning at the doorway with a cup of tea in his hand and a plate of omelettes in the other. “May I?”
You nodded, rubbing your eyes to fully wake you up.
“It smells nice. How are the others?”
“Oh, Kuroo’s driving them back to Sendai. The others wanted you to tag along on their road trip, but I told them that you’re probably jetlagged and needed the rest. They helped unload your stuff at the entranceway though,” he settled the tea and omelettes on the nightstand before pulling out a bed tray table from one of the drawers.
“I didn’t know you were the type to have breakfast in bed.”
“I’m not. A friend left it here last year, forgot about it and told me to keep it in the end. I just thought you’d like breakfast in bed today,” as Kenma was about to unfold the table, he paused in hesitation. It looked like he wanted to say something, but instead he lowered his head onto your lap. Thinking nothing of it, you run your fingers through his soft hair,
“Tired?”
“. . . I guess . . . I don’t know . . .”
You started humming the tune Kenma used to sing to you back then, when the two of you were still normal. The familiar feeling began to cloud your judgement, letting your fingers trace down the nape of Kenma’s neck. He immediately grabs your wrist, startling you from your trance.
“What do you think you’re doing?” he lifts his head.
“I—, sorry, I didn't mean—”
“Your food’s getting cold,” he changes the subject and continues to set up the bed table, arranging the tea and omelette. Before he was able to leave the bed, you reach for his hand,
“Kenma, wait . . .” the words you’ve always wanted to tell him is caught in your throat, “. . . I’m sor—!”
His hands clamp over your mouth as he gently kisses your forehead, softly dragging his cold fingers down to your throat. Unable to shake off the way it made you feel, he left you in silence.
After closing the door, Kenma briskly walked towards the bathroom, turned the faucet on and locked himself in. He leans against the door, slowly sliding down to the floor and pulled his hoodie completely over his head,
“. . . what am I doing? . . .” he sighs, pressing his head into his folded hands.
A moment later, the sound of your footsteps makes him jolt back up to turn the faucet off. He opens the door to see you standing there, knees clasped together.
“Don’t just stand there, move!” you push through him to get to the toilet and quickly kicked your panties off, landing at Kenma’s feet. “Phew, okay, you can leave now.”
Just as you finished cleaning yourself up, he picks up your wet stained panties.
“Hey! Give me those!” you tried grabbing them back from him, while covering yourself.
Fuck it. Kenma decided to cross the line he drew for himself. At this point it didn’t matter to him anymore, nothing mattered to him anymore. Everything that’s been holding him back has reached its limit, and he was more than ready to risk it all.
“What, it’s not like this is my first time seeing you naked.”
“Kuroo can walk in at any moment,” you argued back.
“He left two hours ago. It takes a total of eight hours driving to and from Sendai, plus the amount of stops he probably took to settle them down,” he quietly closes the door. “Which means I’ve about six hours to have you all to myself.”
The weight of Kenma’s words dawned on you. The sound of your heartbeat echoes in your ears, racing at the pace things were moving in. It’s only been a day since you got back, but Kenma had been displaying signs of temptation. You knew he was selfish, but you didn't know he can be this selfish—to the point of sleeping with his best friend’s girlfriend. Maybe you should’ve set the boundaries right then and there when you and Kuroo told him about your relationship. But you’ve been sleeping around with Kenma for so long that you didn’t realize that these things weren’t normal for someone in a relationship. It wasn’t right at all, especially to Kuroo. It’s cheating, but—
“Don’t worry, it’ll just be between you and me. I promise,” Kenma cups your face so that your eyes meet with his and draws you into a kiss. You quickly pull away from him,
“Kenma, we can’t. You know we can’t, I’m dating Kuroo, and . . .this is cheating—”
“Only if we get caught,” his fingers trace up your thighs.
You grip his wrist with trembling hands.
“Kenma . . . please, I—I can only hold back so much,” your voice begins to break.
“Do you trust me?” he pauses, waiting for your reply.
With guilt, you shyly nodded.
“That’s my good girl,” he lifts you up onto the edge of the sink. Kissing you along your neck and collarbones.
“Not there, you’ll leave a mark,” you stop him.
“Right, . . . sorry,” he pouts. With how far you’ve already taken the situation, you decided to let go of all senses of your morals.
“Come here,” you reach for his face, pulling him back into a kiss. Shocked that you took the lead, but relieved, he places his hand on your wet spot. The feeling of his fingers brushing over your clit makes you throb inside.
“Look at how messy you’re getting and I haven’t even put my fingers in you yet,” he crosses his fingers. “I know you like it when I do this.”
The twisting motion inside you sends waves of pleasure throughout your body, making your toes curl. Hot breaths escape your wet lips, feeling yourself come closer to ecstasy. Before you could reach your climax, Kenma pulls his fingers out.
“No, no no,” you whined.
“What’s wrong?” he cocked his head, knowing damn well what he’s doing. “You know begging doesn’t work on me, you need to show that you want it.” He leans in closer to your blushing ear. “Now get on those pretty knees of yours.”
The glazed look in your eyes catches Kenma’s attention. A smirk tugs across his face, gently gripping your throat, embracing you into another wet kiss. His teeth softly grazes your bottom lip as he pulls away. Reluctantly, you get on your knees.
You work your tongue, stroking up and down his cock. “Fuck,” he grunts, giving you a sense of pride. Impatiently, you start to touch yourself to relieve that aching feeling,
“Ah, ah, ah,” Kenma pulls you by the hair to get you off his cock. He grabs both of your wrists and pins them over your head against the edge of the sink, preventing you from touching yourself. “I’m not gonna let you take that satisfaction away from me. Now open your mouth nice and wide, and stick your tongue out.”
Your hips squirm and tremble, doing as he says.
“Hrmph!” the impact of his cock thrusts to the back of your throat, his grip tightening around your wrists. Tears stream down your cheeks and saliva dribbles down your chin, taking in every thrust he gives you. You choke on his load, filling you so much that you can’t do anything but swallow.
“You think I’m done?” he pushes you to the floor and turns you over, pinning one leg to your chest. The glint in his eyes tells you how long he’s been waiting for this moment. A single, long, moment to put you in a sloppy daze. You can feel his thumb brushing over your slick folds before pressing it in. Although you’re already a soaking mess down there, he wants to make sure you're fully prepped before going in raw.
“Don’t forget, I have you all to myself for more than a few hours,” he says in your ear as he slowly penetrates you. The tip hits you in the right spot making your walls flutter. Only the sound of your panting and moaning escape your lips.
You forgot how rough Kenma gets when his stress builds up and he has nowhere to vent it off on, but that privilege was taken away from him when you and Kuroo started your relationship. Admittedly, you miss Kenma from before he knew about your relationship with his best friend. You didn’t know how he truly felt about it and didn’t want to ask. You avoided wanting to ask ‘cause you’re scared about knowing how he really feels. The day you confronted him about it was also when he started to become distant and detached from you. 
Slowly, your mind enters a daze, getting lost in the comfort you find from his guilty pleasure.
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dessarious · 3 years
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How the Sirens Adopted a Ladybug Pt1
So when I was writing the last chapter of How to Not Get a Date it went full blown angst. Since that wasn’t what I wanted for that story and rewrote the chapter that I posted but the other idea decided to blow up into yet another story so here we go again.
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“I don’t suppose I could convince you not to steal that?” Catwoman spun around to find a girl in what looked like a dark red armored suit with black spots. In the Louvre at two in the morning. What the hell?
“And just what are you supposed to be?” The girl just gave her a sardonic smile and Catwoman couldn’t help but notice how tired she looked.
“I’m Ladybug. Hero of Paris.” The sarcastic tone was unexpected and it took her a minute to actually process the words.
“Since when does Paris have Heroes?”
“Since some megalomaniac found a Miraculous and decided to use it for his own selfish desires. If not for the fact that he targets people with strong negative emotions I wouldn’t care what you do. But since the last time the curator of this exhibit was Akumatized it was a three day battle, I would really like to avoid it if I can.” She just continued to frown at the girl. That couldn’t be real.
“Did Harley and Ivy put you up to this?” That just got her confused frown mirrored back at her. She was either a really good actress or she wasn’t lying.
“Look, this exhibit is moving to London in under two weeks. Could you please just wait until it leaves Paris to take whatever it is you’re after?” This was so strange. She claimed to be a hero but didn’t seem to care that Catwoman was stealing, just that it would become her problem. Even most of the bats frowned upon that sort of thing.
“So you’re just going to let me walk out of here like nothing happened?” She sighed and ran a hand through her hair, refusing to make eye contact.
“The police have made it clear that it is not my job to apprehend criminals.” There was a lot of anger under those words. Catwoman walked up to the girl and gently lifted her head so she could study her. Seriously, what was it with black hair and blue eyes? Between the bats and Superman she was starting to wonder if it wasn’t a coincidence.
“When was the last time you slept?” She watched Ladybug’s eyes unfocus as she searched for the answer. “How about the last time you ate?” That produced a flinch.
“I can take care of myself.” Well that wasn’t a good reaction. The girl reminded her a bit of Tim and Jason. The sleep deprivation was all the baby CEO but the amorality screamed mister gun nut.
“I’m sure you can. I’ll tell you what; I’ll do what you want but in return you’ll come with me to meet a couple of my friends and let us feed you.” She hesitated but Catwoman didn’t see any worry in her expression. She wasn’t scared of being alone with criminals so it was likely pride holding her back. “I want to talk to you more about the situation here. It’s odd that I haven’t heard about it.”
“No it’s not. The Miraculous magic is very good at containing itself. Very few people outside of Paris have any idea what is going on.” That tone was odd. There was a trace of bitterness but it was mostly resigned.
“How old are you?” The way she held herself said she was experienced in what she did, but everything else screamed that she was still just a kid.
“Old enough to do what must be done.”  Yep, she was dealing with a baby.
------------------------------------------------------
“Will you quit worrying? I’m sure everything’s just fine.” Ivy just shot Harley an annoyed glance. She loved the woman to death but she really needed to take things a bit more seriously sometimes.
“She’s two hours late Harls, that’s a time frame for worry. Not to mention I’ve felt off ever since we got here. There’s something wrong with this city and I don’t like it.” She was constantly on edge and her skin felt like it was trying to crawl off her body. Ivy wanted nothing more than for Selina to get back so they could leave. Sightseeing be damned.
“As always your instincts are dead on.” She let out a relieved breath and turned to yell at Selina for trying to give her a heart attack but couldn’t manage to speak once she saw the person with her. Or rather once she felt the power coming off of them. She pulled Harley behind her and prepared for the worst. Selina was just looking at her like she was insane but the girl was studying her.
“Seriously, you’re scared of a kid?” Harley’s words made her really look at the person and that just made her more worried. Given what she felt this girl was capable of destroying the world without even trying.
“How can you not feel that? The energy radiating from her should be enough that even you should feel it.” Harley and Selina both just looked confused but the girl looked surprised.
“You can actually feel it?” Ivy just nodded. “I’ve never met anyone who could sense the Miraculous before. Whatever you sense though, I assure you I don’t mean any harm. There’s only one person I actually want to maim and I have a feeling when the time comes I won’t even be able to do that.” Well that was… odd. Even Harley was eyeing the girl like she had a screw loose.
“This is Ladybug. She’s a hero here in Paris.” Well that at least explained why she was late. “She’s asked me to hold off on my transaction until it leaves Paris.”
“And you agreed? She’s just going to go to the cops and make things more difficult for you later.” Harley’s words caused anger and hurt to flash across her expression before she controlled it.
“I said I wouldn’t. They wouldn’t take me seriously if I did anyway.” Now she saw why Selina brought her back with her. The girl looked like a stray cat. The stiff way she held herself was exactly like a cat who’d learned that people can’t be trusted, but she refused to run or show fear either. Then Ivy noticed the girls hair and eyes and almost groaned out loud. Selina had been spending so much time with her boyfriend that she was picking up his adoption preferences.
“I wanted to talk with her more about what’s going on here in Paris. We should order food since I have a feeling it’s going to be a long discussion.” Ivy saw the girl's cheeks turn pink and took the time to really look at her. She was the kind of thin that came from not eating rather than just being fit. Her mask hid any bags that might be under her eyes, but even standing still her body was swaying a little. The girl looked like she was about to pass out.
“Of course. Here, have a seat.” Ivy made chairs out of plants for everyone and the girl's face went completely blank before she turned to Selina.
“Is that normal for her?” Harley just started giggling but Selina gave Ladybug a sympathetic smile.
“Yes, Ivy has the power to control plants.” Ladybug let out a relieved sigh.
“Thank Kwami. I don’t think I’m up for another Akuma today.” Ivy shared a confused look with Harley. What the hell was an Akuma?
“You’re fighting people that control plants?” The girl blinked at her in confusion for a moment before understanding dawned.
“No, it’s complicated. I haven’t had to explain this to someone in a long time so I might not make much sense.” She sat while Harley went to order food. Ivy sat across from her and noticed how she melted into the seat. She obviously wasn’t used to being comfortable. When Harley came back in the room they were about to start asking questions when a little black cat shaped creature appeared. It was emitting just as much power as the girl.
“I don’t suppose any of you are willing to spring for camembert?” Harley gave out a squeak of surprise but Catwoman just looked stunned.
“Plagg! Are you out of your mind? Not to mention how rude it is.” Ladybug couldn’t seem to decide whether to be annoyed or embarrassed.
“Given that this one steals for a living I doubt they stand on good manners. Besides, you don’t know if you don’t ask.” The cheeky tone caused an eye twitch in the girl.
“What exactly is that?” Selina hadn’t stopped staring at the creature.
“I’m Plagg, Kwami of Destruction. I power the Black Cat Miraculous.” The girl actually threw her hands up in frustration.
“Tikki’s going to kill us both. Of all the people you could have decided to come out for why would you choose criminals?” Poor kid sounded close to tears and the creature flew up under her chin and started purring. Selina was grinning like a mad woman. Ivy had a feeling things were about to get a lot more complicated.
“Everything will be fine Bug, you’ll see. I’m the Kwami of bad luck and I can feel yours shifting.”
“I thought you said you were the Kwami of Destruction?” Selina sounded far too amused. Ivy shook her head at the woman. She still didn’t understand how no one else could feel the danger here.
“I’m both, just as Tikki is the Kwami of Creation and Good Luck, which is the Miraculous that gives Ladybug her powers.” The Kwami suddenly flew right up to Ivy to study her. “You’re an interesting being. Your abilities are inherently creation but you use them to destroy as well. She could be a good influence for you Bug.” Ladybug let out a sigh and pinched the bridge of her nose.
“I’m not using your powers to smite the people you think have wronged me Plagg. And I would really like to stop having this argument.”  
“You act like it’s an opinion rather than a fact. Even Tikki agrees with me there.” The Kwami sounded indignant and more than a little angry. The energy around it was getting steadily stronger. They really needed to divert it’s attention.
“What were you saying about camembert?” The Kwami perked up immediately but Ladybug cringed.
“Kwami need food to recharge and while just about anything will do in a pinch they each have favorites. Plagg’s favorite is extremely smelly and extremely pricy cheese. Which I haven’t been able to provide for awhile now.” Plagg’s expression dropped at her tone.
“Oh kit, it’s not your fault.” The creature flew back to her and began purring again. Ladybug wouldn’t look anyone in the eye but Ivy could feel the guilt and worry coming from her. Whatever was going on this kid needed a break.
“I just need to go change. Then I can run to the store while we wait for the rest of the food.” Plagg looked ecstatic at Selina’s announcement. Ladybug looked mostly worried but there was a bit of relief under that.
“I wasn’t kidding when I said it was expensive. I feel bad enough, don’t let them guilt you into buying something that isn’t really necessary.” Selina scoffed.
“I know exactly how temperamental some creatures are about food and given Ivy’s reaction I’d like to stay on their good side for the moment. Besides, the money isn’t an issue.” She was walking out of the room before the girl could respond. Instead she frowned at Plagg who was still looking after Selina.
“I thought we agreed no more surprises.”
“Tikki and Wayzz agreed, I didn’t. Besides, an opportunity is presenting itself that we don’t want to miss.” Ivy shared a confused look with Harley, who just shrugged at her. Ladybug seemed just as clueless about what they meant. That couldn’t be a good thing.
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blu-joons · 3 years
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He Breaks Up With You ~ Kim Taehyung
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Walking off the stage that night was supposed to be the best feeling in the world, the adrenaline was supposed to keep you going for the rest of the night, that was until you found Taehyung stood backstage waiting for you, dressed plainly with a mask covering most of his face.
You were surprised to see him as you took off your mic pack, he’d told you he wouldn’t be able to make it to your concert because of a busy schedule, yet here he was in front of you.
“What are you doing here?” You asked, encouraging him to follow behind you as you began to get yourself sorted, grabbing one of the hoodies in your dressing room. “Did work finish early?”
“I got told to leave because I couldn’t focus, I guess I had a lot on my mind,” he frowned.
The moment the producer approached him and asked him what was going on, Taehyung knew there was only one place he could go. There was only one reason for his low mood and his difficulty to think of anything else but his shadowing thoughts.
You watched on for a few moments as he sat down on one of the chairs in front of the row of mirrors rather than choosing to sit on the double sofa beside you.
You laidback and tried to encourage yourself not to think too much into thigs, perhaps he just wanted to give you some space whilst you sorted yourself out coming off the stage.
Seeing your innocent smile broke Taehyung’s heart though. He could see you fighting with your negative thoughts as you tried to reassure yourself that all of this was nothing to worry about, when all along he knew it was exactly that for you.
“I needed to be here because I needed to speak to you about something Y/N.”
Your head slowly nodded, grabbing a bottle of water from the table beside you, using it as a bit of a distraction. You didn’t say a word as you waited for Taehyung to continue, spinning the cap of the bottle until he opened his mouth to speak.
“I’ve been thinking a lot recently,” he eventually began to speak up, “there’s a few things that I’ve felt haven’t been quite right, a lot that’s been disturbing my career. But that’s my priority right now and I can’t let that be neglected.”
“So, are you here to tell me I’m one of those disturbances?” You outrightly asked, taking him by surprise.
The silence of a response from him quickly told you everything as your head slowly nodded. His eyes looked away from yours as you glanced across at him, feeling a wave of anger hit you as he became so nervous around you.
“Why would you come and do this now Taehyung?”
“Because I fell apart at work tonight, it felt like I’d hit a brick wall.”
For so long he’d tried not to let anything intervene with work, but as the days went by, he found himself losing who he was more and more. He wasn’t the Taehyung of months ago, and every single in the company had recognised that too.
“I’m so sorry,” he admitted.
“What are you trying to say Tae? Is this your way of breaking up with me?” You continued to question, pressuring him desperately into being open and honest with you.
His hand brushed through his hair, pushing his face mask down so you could finally see his lips. “I don’t really feel like I’m left with much of a choice.”
He loved you more than anything else in the world, every person who knew him knew that too, but the pressures of being in love with an idol were beginning to take its toll on him. He’d hoped more than anything the two of you could figure something out, but for him, it just didn’t seem possible.
You sighed gently, placing the water bottle back down on the table, “is this you making the decision for the both of us then, do I get to have a say on this?”
“I’ve made my decision Y/N, what could you possibly say to change that?” He challenged.
“I’ve never let our relationship affect my career, so what are you doing to make it affect yours so much?” You queried, bringing your legs up onto the sofa to rest against.
His shoulders shrugged clueless as to why he’d let your relationship drive such a wedge into his career. “Maybe we’re just different people, you’ve always been able to handle anything thrown your way, but I feel like I’m in too deep now.”
“That’s what our relationship has meant to you?” You chuckled, “you’re trying to tell me that our relationship has just felt like a burden for you? Like a weight pulling you down?”
“It’s not just our relationship, but I guess it’s one of them, yes,” he confessed.
You couldn’t believe what you were hearing, all this time you’d thought the two of you were happy in your relationship. How bad of a partner had you been to fail to realise that he was miserable and struggling in your relationship.
“I wish there were a nicer way of doing this, but I’ve always said that I’d put my career first, and I can’t change that now. I think I just need to refocus myself again.”
“All along I’ve just been second best to you, haven’t it?”
As bad as it sounded, Taehyung knew you were probably right. Whilst he loved being in a relationship, with any decision that came his way, the band was always the first thing he thought of. It was the one thing he protected more than anything else.
You struggled to hold back your tears as the realisation dawned on you as to what was going on. You had little fight left in you when you knew you couldn’t compare to his career, there was no way you were going to win this time around.
“I think you should just go rather than dragging this out,” you suggested.
His heart shattered as your hand wiped underneath your eye, knowing he was the cause. “Y/N I don’t want you to feel like I didn’t want to be with you or that I didn’t love you. I know this isn’t what you want either, but I need to do this for me, I just hope you’ll understand.”
A heavy breath came from you, “I’ll always understand the importance of your career, but I’ll never understand why you felt the need to carry this on for so long.”
He wished more than anything that he could justify these things to you, but he just couldn’t. None of it made sense, and that was all down to him.
“I’ve never wanted to break up with you, but I’d never force you into staying. I’ll just say thank you for doing this during one of the best concerts of my life.”
“I could have found a better time, I know. It was selfish of me to come now because I couldn’t deal with the guilt anymore,” he admitted, standing up from the chair. “From what I saw of the concert though, you performed so well.”
“You’re just trying to make me feel better now.”
“What else can I do?”
Your eyes looked up at his figure, and then across to the door. “You can just leave Taehyung, this is a moment you’ve wanted for a long time, so now is your chance to do what you’ve wanted to do for so long.”
His head slowly nodded, glancing across at you one last time before away at the door. “Please know that I’m sorry Y/N,” he whispered.
“Taehyung…just go.”
---
Masterlist
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yandere-daydreams · 4 years
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Hello! It would be so lovely if you could write something where Beelzebub manipulates the reader into letting him feed on her. So often times he begs for just a little taste of her blood because human blood is like a junk food feast for him. And gradually his ‘little tastes’ get worse over time and maybe the brothers start to notice all the bite marks on her. That would be so lovely! Tysm for your writing it’s so good 🥺💗
You say ‘manipulating’, but he’s so sweet, he probably would even notice he’s doing it. Beelzebub is one of the few Yanderes I can see never really aiming to hurt his Darling, out of the Obey Me cast, at least… that’s not to say he doesn’t, though.
Title: Bittersweet.
TW: Bruises, Blood, Mentions of Death, Mentions of Violence, and Emotional Manipulation.
~
Satan once told you that demons used to draw strength from human blood.
Used to, he’d said, they used to. It was a warning by way of explanation, a word of caution that came in the form of an impromptu history lesson. Lucifer had used it as a threat, when you’d first arrived, saying he’d throw you to a flock of desperate, lesser creatures if you proved to be less valuable than he’d hoped, and once or twice, you’d heard Leviathan mumble something similar under his breath when you were close to beating him at one of his games, Asmodeus muttering how you should be glad he hadn’t drained you dry yet, when you accidentally spilled his favorite vile of nail polish. It was clearly an outdated practice, if it’d ever really a practice at all, but it served its purpose, intentional or not, and you were able to make it into a piece of reasoning you could use, one you could cut and mold and shape until it fit into the slot you needed it to. Until you could use it to explain why other demons were so quick to bear their claws when you tried to speak to them, until you could shrug off Mammon’s protectiveness and Belphegor’s poorly concealed bloodlust.
Until you could explain why Beelzebub was like that, when he was alone with you.
Instinct, you told yourself, a reflex he just happened to hold on to. He didn’t want to hurt you, he’d never want to hurt you, but if you let yourself, you’d start to believe that he might. In his lap, like this, with his hands on your hips and your form nearly eclipsed by his, you were able to see how a bystander might make that mistake, might assume he was aiming to rip your throat out when his teeth got so close to your jugular vein when he was so careless with where he bit down. It wasn’t his fault the rest of the house was empty, that he’d just so happened to come to your room when the two of you wouldn’t be interrupted, and you couldn’t blame him for how violent the results of his minor lapses in judgment looked, to anyone who only saw the blood and the indents rather than the love behind them. They looked worse than they felt, or, you assumed they looked worse than they felt. They hurt, sure, but they couldn’t have hurt as much as they were supposed to.
Nothing could hurt that much, you were sure.
Besides, even if did, you didn’t know if you’d have the heart to tell him. He’d always been the nicest one, out of the brothers, and it was apparent in everything he did. Even in the quiet anxiety of an empty home, it’d only taken you a few minutes to relax against him, to rest your head and listen to a heartbeat slower than any human being’s should ever be. He wasn’t human, though, and it was easy to let him wrap you in his arms and pull you closer, closer, and as close as you could be, until your posture was a little too straight and there was a little too much pressure on your spine and there was no doubt in your mind that you’d be sore, when he let you go. “You smell really good,” He muttered, absentmindedly, his voice low, but not aggressive. Gruff, but lacking the edge that would’ve made it hostile. “You always do, when the others are away.”
“You’re the only one who can tell the difference.” The words were instilled with a playful jeer, but you didn’t move to push him away, nor did you try to pull back as he tugged you against him, nuzzling into the crook of your neck. “It’s only because you’re so clingy.”
“It’s only because you’re so sweet, when they’re not around.” Another retort with an unnecessary addition, but one so tender, you could hardly bring yourself to think of him as jealous, or possessive, or anything but too honest for his own good. You only hummed as his lips brushed over your collarbone, his teeth barely dancing around the idea of biting down. “I like it, I really like it. It makes me hungry.”
You were a little slower to respond, this time, if only by the fraction of a second. If Beelzebub noticed, you couldn’t tell, the only signs of his impatience coming in the form of a prick, a flash of pain, the sensation of hot breath on your skin. “Everything makes you hungry.”
“This is different.” It must’ve been the hundredth time you heard him say that, and yet, it didn’t feel different from his usual state of near-starvation, his usual unignorable, insurmountable cravings. It was something that nagged at you, a mild dread that formed a tight ball in the back of your throat as his hands drifted, one soon splayed over your lower back and the other trailing upward, nimble fingers entangling themselves in your hair, urging you to lean against him. A prick turned into a pinch, a flash to a small spark, and this time, the pain lingered, seeped in, rooted itself into your flesh and refused to lessen, even after Beelzebub had moved on. You didn’t have to look to know there would be a bruise, something blackened and ugly to remind you where he’d been, but he didn’t seem to mind the pitchy noise of discomfort that slipped past your pursed lips. If anything, it only spurred him on, as he found his next target just above the rise of your chest. “I’ve never wanted something, like this, like I want you. I’ve never been this hungry before.” The thought was interrupted by an airy laugh, a fleeting kiss to your cheek as he straightened his back. “I’ve never felt like I could let everyone else starve, if it just means I get to eat.”
His grip tightened, growing oppressive as he dragged himself to his full height, tilting your head to the side and nipping at the space underneath your ear. It was uncomfortable, it was awkward, rigid knots of tension forming the longer he kept you in such a stilted position. It was more of an impulse than anything, the abrupt awareness that he could snap your neck with a flick of his wrist, but before you could stop yourself, you were scrambling to push at his chest, to put just enough space between you and him to get Beelzebub’s attention, to force him to loosen his hold on your hair and let you shy away, even if he was quick to take you by the arm, instead, catching you before you could get too far. Before you could run, like any scared rabbit so close to the jaws of a wolf should. “Please,” You gasped, suddenly overwhelmed, suddenly panicked, suddenly terrified. “Please, I just--- I don’t know if--”
“Take your time,” He encouraged, all the careless fondness drained from his expression, replaced with something concerned, something so, so close to sympathetic. “Breath, (Y/n). You look like you’re about to pass out.”
You could’ve. You might’ve, if his hold on your wrist wasn’t starting to get so crushing. “I don’t know if I can keep doing this,” You managed, your tone frantic, the sentiment bordering on incoherent. “I’m sorry, Beel, but… it hurts. Your brothers are worried, and the marks are always visible, and I’m not sure if I can handle it anymore. I don’t want to turn you down, but--”
“But, you don’t like me anymore.”
Instantly, you deflated, and Beelzebub wasn’t much better. You could feel his stare burning into you, cold and prying, glazed over with some dark mixture of offence and hurt and pain. The effect was immediate, it was excruciating, like a dagger to your heart that just wouldn’t stop twisting. You moved to soothe him, but Beelzebub was already forcing a smile, jagged and wavering and tortuous. So much worse than anything he could ever do to you. “It’s fine, I promise. I know I can get ahead of myself, Lucifer always says that I can be... that I can be self-centered, when I’m not paying attention.” Another laugh, this one anything but careless. Something fractured and broke inside your rib cage, and you wondered if you’d ever forgive yourself. “I'm almost as bad as Mammon, sometimes.”
“Beel, please.” It was still a plea, still an act of fear, but now, you just wanted him to stop. To stop talking, to stop making you feel so awful. To stop making you feel like you’re at fault, when he’s always the one that goes a little too far. “I’m sorry, I just---”
“No, it’s alright. If anything, I should be the one apologizing.” He paused, kissing your temple, but gesture was barely half-hearted. Really, it made you feel more pitied than comforted. “You probably got tired of me months ago, I was just too selfish to--”
This time, you were the one to interrupt him, to throw yourself against his chest with so much determination, you could hear his back collide with the headboard as he wrapped his arms around your torso, the embrace nearly seccond-nature. You didn’t have to say anything, not when you were holding onto him so tightly, when you were the one who wouldn’t to let go, this time. He didn’t have to speak, either. His grin was genuine, now, overjoyed and so, so forgiving as it pressed against the side of your neck. It eas enough to make you forget your guilt, it was enough to make you not care about the bitemarks or the blood or any of it, not if it made Beelzebub happy.
And for a second, it was enough to block out the pain, as he finally bit down.
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