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mrsbarnesblog · 2 days

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i am not the only one who saw that, right?

masterlist ko-fi ao3

summary: your friends find out that you secretly dating their enemy, but their opinion might completely change when they see Rafe from another point of view

words count: 2.2k

warnings: secret relationship, pogue!reader, attempted assault, mention of blood, soft and protective Rafe

a/n: inbox is open for requests💘

“You cannot be dating Rafe fucking Cameron, Y/N!” John B exclaimed, burying his hands in his hair and walking all around the place.

“No, seriously, this is not a good idea.” Sarah looked at you, giving out a nervous laugh.

You were currently surrounded by your friends, who were all practically yelling at you after they accidentally saw a message from Rafe on your phone. You were one of the pogues; you never hanged out around the kooks, but somehow, when you were visiting Sarah a few months ago, you got into a random conversation with Rafe, and since that moment, the connection between you two has only gotten stronger.

It was an instant click and as much as you both tried to deny the spark, it was there. As you started going out, secretly from everyone, of course, you decided to keep it private until the right time.

“Alright, guys, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but I knew that this would be your reaction. It just happened, okay?” You rubbed the bridge of your nose, already feeling a headache from the tense situation. All of your friends were standing on the opposite side of you and it felt like they were just attacking you.

“What were you thinking? You know that he hates people like us, like you. We are pogues, Y/N. How the hell did that even happen?” Kiara was standing with her hands on her hips, as her piercing eyes were studying you. You felt awful looking at Pope, who was the one who always supported you, but he just shook his head and stepped away.

“I don’t know. It just happened. We talked once when Sarah left, then I accidentally met him a few times in town, and then he texted me. He’s not bad when you know him closer.” You sighed. “Look, I know Rafe was a lot of trouble for us. He did bad things; I know that. But he’s not like that; he’s sweet and caring, and he has never shown any sign of being disrespectful towards me. I just can’t deny my feelings for him.”

“Honey, Rafe is not a good person. He doesn’t care about anything or anyone; he’s evil, selfish and manipulative.” Sarah stepped closer to you, touching your hand. “He’ll play with you, hurt your feelings and just throw you away.”

“And he probably just wants to get into your pants.” JJ grumbled, also taking a defensive position.

“I haven't even slept with him yet, JJ!” You desperately snapped at him. It felt ridiculous, like all of them turned against you at the same time. Sure, Rafe wasn’t the sweetest person to them before, but they didn’t even give you a chance to say something in your defense. “And you’re wrong too, Sarah. All of Rafe’s actions were just to get people’s attention and appreciation. All it took for me to get on his soft side was to just listen to him and give him some affection. Other people didn’t care enough, including you and your father. He needs someone who he can trust and open up to because he’s hurt.”

“No, Y/N. If you think that he loves you, then he just got into your head. My brother doesn’t love anyone. It will end badly; I just know that.”

Tears gathered in your eyes, and a lump in your throat made it difficult to say anything back, so you just stupidly stayed there. You had no strength to fight with all five of them at the same time. You turned around, silently getting back in the car, even though your head was filled with doubt and dark thoughts because of their words.

For the next few days, it was tough for all of you. You and the rest of the group were still close, and even though they were completely against your relationship, you still met and hung out. The pit in your heart was still there, no matter how hard you tried to act nonchalant and not let their words get into your head.

Rafe noticed the change in your behavior—that you were upset with something—but he didn’t put any pressure on you and allowed you to decide for yourself when you wanted to open up.

Pogues decided to go to some party on the cut near the beach and as much as you tried to refuse, Sarah and Kiara managed to drag you there. You all rarely went to such places, preferring to hang out in your little circle, but apparently everyone wanted to clear their heads and saw it as the best opportunity.

It was pretty fun with a bunch of people you did not know, some music, and drinks, and you mostly hung out with your friends. Though quickly it got overwhelming and made you want to go home or at least go outside of the house to get some fresh air. As you left your friends and wanted out from the backyard to a part of the beach, you didn’t notice the guy who had been eyeing you the whole evening.

He came out of nowhere from your back, his arms wrapped around your waist, lifting you off the ground. You yelled at the sudden and unwanted touch, and your heart seemed to drop into your stomach when you realised that it wasn’t just a joke from JJ, who liked to scare you. You started wiggling in his hands to get free, but he was fighting you back, dragging you up when you fell to your knees on the ground.

It was such a mess trying to scratch and punch him that you almost did not notice his hand coming into contact with your face several times. You screamed again, this time loud enough, until you saw JJ running towards you. The guy behind you pushed you away as soon as he saw someone, and you fell to the ground with a loud huff.

“That fucking bastard!” JJ was right near you, helping you to get up as tears streamed down your face. He tried to comfort you, checking your body for any injuries, but you pushed his hands away, wrapping your own around yourself in a defensive way.

“Oh my god, Y/N!” You heard Kiara, along with your other friends, calling your name. “What the hell happened?”

“H-he attacked me.” You sniffed, trying to catch your breath and, with shaking hands, reaching to the pocket of your jeans shorts to get out your phone. All of them looked at each other, questioning your actions, until you pressed someone’s contact button and put the phone to your ear. “Can y-you pick me up, p-please?” You sniffed again, now trembling from the adrenaline.

“Baby? Are you crying? Where are you?” You heard your boyfriend’s concerned voice through the phone, feeling how JJ tensed beside you.

“I’m on the cut. Near the beach. There’s a party and... Please, Rafe.”

“I’m coming, angel. Just wait for me, ‘kay?” You heard the sound of the car engine at the other end of the line. Rafe didn’t ask any more questions, and as soon as you mumbled quiet 'mhm’ he ended the call.

You all heard him before you saw him. The sound of the tires drifting through the sandy street was loud, drawing attention to the expensive car that was unusual to see at this part of the island.

Rafe didn’t bother to properly park, turn off the engine or even close the door when he saw you sitting on some old chaise lounge, with his sister and Kie trying to talk to you and your other friends arguing nearby.

The girls stepped away from you as soon as they saw Rafe running towards you with a furious expression on his face and ready to deal with anyone who made you cry. It looked like he didn’t even care about the pogues, with whom he always had to get into arguments; he was fully focused on your shivering form.

“Baby, what’s wrong? What happened?” He squatted down in front of you, and you started sobbing again. Your hands immediately found their place around his neck, and, before he could even properly look at your face, you pulled him closer to get some sense of comfort from his warmth and smell. Rafe hugged you back, soothingly rubbing your back. His eyes shot towards your friends, who were watching in awe at the interaction. “Which one of you did that?”

“It’s not us, you idiot. Some guy jumped her when she walked outside.” Sarah said, rolling her eyes at her brother. “JJ heard screaming, and when we walked outside, he ran away.” Rafe pulled away, finally taking in your appearance.

Your knees were covered in dried blood mixed with the sand. He gently took your hands to see the palms scratched from you trying to catch yourself before hitting the ground. Rafe’s eyes were burning with fury, showing his side that he rarely revealed in front of you. His hand reached to move your hair from your face, noticing a red, now already turning purplish, bruise covering the side of your cheek.

“Holy shit, sweetheart.” He softly brushed his fingertips along your cheek and you leaned into the touch, closing your eyes. Your bottom lip started quivering and you bit inside your cheek to calm yourself down. “Sh-h im here, okay? You’re safe. Did you see him? What did he look like? Just tell me and I’ll deal with it.” He almost begged, but you only shook your head. JJ suddenly stepped closer, slightly hesitating to actually normally communicate with his longtime enemy, but he thought that it was the least that he could do for you.

As much as he hated The Kooks King, JJ knew that Rafe was the best option to find the guy who hurt you.

“Tall, with dark and curly hair. Never seen him before, probably someone new on the island, but I’ll recognize him.” They looked at each other for a moment, and Rafe just simply nodded, turning his attention back to you.

“I’ll find him, ‘kay? I promise I will.” He gently took both of your hands in his, bringing them to his lips to place a soft kiss on your knuckles. “We should go now. I need to take care of your knees and that bruise, baby. You don’t mind going to Tanneyhill, yeah?”

“Thank you, Rafe.” You whispered, slightly bending forward to ask for a kiss. Rafe smiled at you, his thumbs gently swiped the leftovers of the tears under your eyes, and then he kissed you on your forehead, nose, and gently pecked your lips.

Your heart flattered at his soft touches and for a second, it felt like you two were in your own little bubble. Rafe's eyes shimmered slightly in the moonlight, and the way he looked at you, soft and caring, made you want to kiss him again and again. You suddenly snapped out of the trance, looking back at your friends, who all had different levels of shock and uncertainty written on their faces.

“C’mon, pretty girl.” Rafe stood up, lifting you in bridal style without an effort, carefully not to hurt your bleeding knees. He almost walked away, but then sighed, turning back to look at his sister. “You coming home with us or somethin’?”

“Um, no, I’ll be with John B. It seems like I would be third wheeling with you anyway.” She shrugged, not being able to keep a smile when you two met with your eyes.

Rafe then looked at JJ, thinking his words over. “I appreciate it, Maybank.”

They exchanged a tight nod, both slightly shocked that for the first time ever, they communicated without biting each other's heads off. You leaned closer to Rafe, comfortably nestling in his protective hands, and looked at your friends, who were still too shocked to say anything.

“I’ll see you guys later, okay?

Everyone agreed, saying goodbye to you and asking you to text them when you get there safely. They saw how Rafe made sure to slowly put you into the passenger seat, then circled the car and drove away. An awkward silence fell around them, everyone at a loss for words.

“Okay, so I am not the only one who saw that, right?” Pope spoke first, looking around the place as if he were trying to find something. “Rafe freaking Cameron just was acting cute and didn’t threaten to do something to us?” His own body physically shrugged at the word ‘cute’.

“I don’t know, dude. We all just probably drank something and it’s messing with our heads.”

#rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron x you #rafe x reader #rafe x you #rafe imagine #rafe cameron #rafe fanfiction #obx rafe cameron #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron fanfiction #rafe cameron x female reader #rafe cameron x y/n

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bloompawz · 1 day

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Aroallos are often treated as inherently "more sexual" than other allosexuals. Here's why that assumption happens, and why it's bullshit.

Relationships are often treated as inherently hierarchical and strictly defined, due to amatonormativity and a-spec erasure. It usually goes something like this:

You can't have sex without romance. Sex is "dirty" and needs to be "balanced out" or "justified" with romance. Sex is exclusively physically stimulating, and therefore shallow, unless done in emotional service to romance.

Wanting to have sex with people outside of a romantic context is seen as "using" people, inherently. You're "using" them for their body, because you "don't care enough" to love them romantically. Your desires are deemed to be inherently predatory.

You can't have romance without sex. Romance needs to be "justified" with sex, otherwise it's "just platonic."

Wanting romance without sex is seen as "failing" your partner.

Sex and romance are to happen exclusively between two people.

Romantic relationships are more important than all other relationships, except for maybe family. And remember, sex is strictly confined to romance, which therefore means that sex is also more important than nonsexual/nonromantic connection.

Friendships are always less important than romance, and therefore, less important than sex as well. They exist at the bottom of the hierarchy. That's why we have phrases like "more than friends" to describe romance.

In other words, sex = romance, and sex/romance > friendship.

When you take away the romantic elements, you're left with this:

Romance is no longer there to "balance out/justify" the sex, making the sex apparently "more sexual" and "more dirty" and "less emotional" than it would be if it were romantic.

Your sexual desires are deemed inherently predatory.

Sex takes precedent over friendship and nonromantic emotional intimacy in the original hierarchy. Therefore, sex must take precedent over all forms of emotional connection if you're interested in sex without romance, and sex also cannot spark emotional stimulation or connection on its own.

Due to the previous points, you get reduced to a largely "physical" creature, with few or no emotional needs or desires. You are also assumed to disregard the emotional needs and desires of others.

Friendships are still less important than sex. So, even if your friends are the people you're having sex with, it's implied that you don't care about your friends, and you only value them for their bodies. Sex is an insult to your friendships.

Of course, this is bullshit. All of these "rules" are bullshit.

This is how it actually works:

You can have sex without romance. Sex is not "dirty" does not need to be "balanced out" or "justified" by romance. Sex can be emotionally stimulating and fulfilling without romance (though it doesn't have to be, and that's also fine).

There is nothing predatory about having sexual desires/intent without romantic desires/intent. There is nothing predatory about having sex outside of romance, so long as everyone consents.

You can have romance without sex. Romance does not need to be "justified" via sex.

You are not "failing" your partner by not wanting to have sex. You might be sexually incompatible if sex is something they want, but that is not "failure" on anyone's part.

Sex and romance can happen between as many people as you like, as long as everyone is on the same page about things.

Romantic relationships, as well as familial relationships, are not inherently more important than any other type of relationship.

Friendships are not inherently less important than other types of relationships. There is no inherent hierarchy.

Sex is not an insult to friendship. Having sex with your friends does not mean you only value them for their body.

Wanting sex without romance does not inherently mean that sex takes precedent over everything else. For some people, it does, and that's fine. But that's not usually the case, and it should not be assumed to be the case.

Quoting some stuff from myself and others:

People tend to assume that aroallos are always hypersexual, or always loveless, or always prioritize sex above all else when it comes to their relationships with people. And all of those things are valid experiences, but they don't apply to me personally. I've been trying to put it into words... People think that a lack of romantic attraction necessitates an amplified sexual attraction. Like just because I'm aro, I must be "more sexual" than other allosexual people. It seems like people think sexuality has to be "balanced out" with romance. But I'm not particularly sexual; I'm just not ace. [...] there's nothing wrong with prioritizing or emphasizing sexuality. But that's not an inherent aspect of being aroallo, and it doesn't describe me personally. The primary purpose of my relationships is emotional connection. Sex is just a cool thing that I may or may not do with people.

- Myself [Feb. 1, 2024]

I hate that when I announce that I'm aro, but not ace, people are like "yes fuck nasty I respect it 😏😏" like okay girl sure I do that but do you think I don't experience longing for human connection ? You heard non/aromantic and thought "wow, you must be so good with one night stands no emotional attachment whatsoever". Like no, I still (and you're not gonna believe this guys) care about the people I may or may not sleep with ?? Hello ??

- max-nicoxposts [June 4, 2024]

Alloaro culture is always being expected to either be asexual or hypersexual; nuance was something meant for others I suppose.

- Anon [May 28, 2024]

Aroalo culture is someone assuming I'm ace when I say I'm aro, and when I say I'm actually aro and bi they react with "so you're just a predator"

- Anon [May 27, 2024]

there's nothing wrong with being a man and wanting to sleep with men and not date them. it doesn't make you proof queer men are sex-crazed. there's nothing wrong with being a woman and wanting to sleep with women and not date them. it doesn't make you proof queer women are predatory. being alloaro doesn't make you a derogatory stereotype. you deserve respect, no matter what

- pansyboybloom [Jan. 16, 2024]

So much of the arophobia directed towards aromantic heterosexual men seems to be rooted in willful ignorance about what aromanticism actually is and how allosexual aromanticism differs from sexual objectification. Aromanticism is experiencing little to no romantic attraction towards others. That’s it. It isn’t the same as sending unsolicited dick picks to strangers or reducing women to their bodies. When a misogynistic man disregards a woman’s personhood in favor of treating her as a sexual object, it isn’t because he doesn’t experience romantic attraction to women. It’s because he chooses not to value women as people.

- heartless-aro [Dec. 30, 2023] [I highly recommend reading the full post. I only included one section here due to length.]

and if you're aromantic, you also have to be asexual. because sex without romance is immoral and dirty and abusive. and every aroallo is an invader who's trying to destroy your perfect, pure, sex-negative aspec community. if an aromantic is not asexual, they are not a valid aromantic. if you've ever found yourself wondering why aplatonics and aroallos alike have their own small communities instead of just being a part of the wider aspec community, this is why. you drove us away. and your acceptence of aromanticism is still entirely conditional.

- thermodynamic-comedian [May 29, 2024] [also recommend reading the full post]

#aroallo #alloaro #aromantic #aro #aromanticism #aromanticity #arospec #aro spec #aro spectrum #aromantic spectrum #aromantic allosexual #allosexual aromantic #aspec #arophobia #aromisia #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtqia #queer

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incognitopolls · 3 days

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Received a question "Any tips for starting up a poll blog?". The question was off anon, but for reasons related to my final point, I've chosen not to include the asker's identity.

Keep it as simple for yourself as you can. Some general things…

If you want lots of traction, avoid putting yourself in too small of a niche. If you don't care about reach and just want to post some fun polls, go as niche as you like. There just won't be as much buy-in for a blog with an extremely narrow focus like "Do you like this food from the 1870s?", but that's fine if that's what you're passionate about.

Tags are your friends and will be one of the primary ways your polls reach people until you have a large following. Tag appropriately (don't spam tags that aren't relevant), but tag liberally.

I use xkit rewritten to add all the basic tags that get added to every poll, so I only have to add content-related tags to each one as needed.

Keep extra media, links, etc to a minimum. I don't think it's generally necessary for every post to include a photo banner* or links to submit questions, etc; the more things you add to your "template," the more work you have to do for each poll, and it adds up! Also– there was a time where posts with links wouldn't show up in searches. I don't believe that's still the case, but I tend to avoid including links anyway unless they're necessary support for the topic.

*Re: photo banners/photos in general, it is a good rule of thumb to add descriptions to all images. Accessibility is important in and of itself; it also broadens your blog's reach by enabling more people to engage with your posts. To repeat the last point, the fewer images and banners you include, the less work you have to do specifically on adding descriptions.

If it ever becomes not-fun, you don't have to keep doing it.

I would only ever recommend running a poll blog to people who plan to run it from desktop. The poll editor on desktop is much, much easier to use than the mobile one.

And finally– it may not be every poll blogger's preference, but I highly recommend maintaining some level of anonymity. You don't owe anyone any details about who you are, and it helps give you some space at the end of the day to disconnect from public perception and pressure.

#not polls

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fleurriee · 1 day

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oh my god i need a-z alphabet of aemond or whatever it is. foaming at the mouth for this man fr

inspired by @moralesluvr & their a-z

again, more than likely ooc aemond but aren't most fics of him??

this was written over a period of months at sporadic times & i haven't read it through so...

affection — how affection are they? do they show affection?

aemond is not an affection person - i mean, do you know how he was brought up? the only affection he's ever really been shown is when his mother stood up for him that night he lost his eye. so, it's definitely safe to say that affection & aemond do not go together. until he met you, at least.

you're not overly affectionate yourself, but there were certain things you'd do that would make him tense up a little - like, stroking his arm, touching his hand, giving him little compliments, etc. at first, when you'd do these to him, he'd want nothing more than to run away and forget it ever happened... but, the more you did it, the more he got used to it, and the more he craved it.

of course, when you finally get to a point in your relationship where aemond started showing affection back to you, he would only ever do so in the privacy of your chambers, when only those in view were the two of you. it wasn't that he was worried he would come across as weak - he didn't want people to know you were his upmost weakness.

eventually, too, both his mother and heleana are allowed to see these little special moments between the two of you, but that’s all.

bye — what do they do when they need to leave? how are they feeling?

aemond is a busy man, especially when his older brother takes the throne. so, more often than not, the two of you need to part, which is something he hates. he hates not knowing where you’ll be, what you’ll be doing, who you’ll be with — and it’s not a possessive thing, it’s a worried thing. he always worries something bad might happen to you, someone might do something to get back at him.

the first thing he does is reassure you that he’ll back as soon as he possibly can, worded in a way that doesn’t allow him to promise that he won’t be long, because he knows he will be. he takes your face in his hands when he utters these promises to you, looking straight at your eyes so you can see the sincerity. he places gentle kisses all across your face, smiling a little to himself when he hears your giggles. that sounds alone is enough for him to go on.

cuddles — do they like to cuddle? how would they cuddle?

aemond cuddles in a way that keeps you safe. when you’re in bed, he’ll lie on his back with you lay right next to him, arm draped on his front whilst his goes behind your head. he likes to way he can play with your hair between his fingers, combing it through and soothing you; he likes that he can feel you moving with his every breath as you lay upon his chest. it constantly reminds him that you’re there, that you’re real.

there’s also the times when the two of you have a somewhat free day, spending it together in the silence of your chambers reading your separate books. more often than not, you’re sat apart, trying to concentrate, but then there’s the moments when aemond just needs you that little bit closer. he’ll be sat in his chair, unable to focus with his mind constantly drifting back to you, so he gestures you over. the position isn’t exactly a completely comfortable one, but you’re close, and that’s all you care about. you’ll be sat on his lap, both arms around your middle as he carries on reading, you head on his shoulder. it just makes the silence all the more beautiful for him.

domestic — how domestic are they? do they want to settle down?

aemond can come across quite domestic, but maybe that’s just because he knows eventually, the two of you will have no choice but to be so. and, he tries, at least more than his brother did with heleana. it’s always the little things — holding your hand in a gentle grip when leaving a carriage, making sure you don’t lose your step; pulling out the chair for you and pushing you back in at feasts.

like i said, it’s his duty, so he knows he wants to settle down. but, there was a time when he never thought he would because he couldn’t find anyone who would want to settle down with him, something he attributed to his missing eye. and then, he met you, and you didn’t care he had something missing. in that moment, he knew he was ready to finally begin his duties.

equal — how much effort do they put into the relationship?

aemond likes to give back as much to you as he can possibly try. of course, at first, he didn’t know how to properly do what you do to him — how is it that you’re able to make him blush when he’s never done so before; how is it that you’re capable of causing his heart to beat at rapid pulses?

aemond simply wanted to make you feel as loved as you made him feel. what type of husband would he be if he couldn’t do that for his very own wife? so, until he could finally figure out what got your heart racing, he’s definitely thinking of different ways to make you fall more impossibly in love with him.

fiancé — how are they in an engagement?

when aemond finally warms up to the idea of possibly being in a marriage alliance that could make him happy, he somehow turns it into the perfect betrothal.

he makes sure to spend as much time with you as he possibly can whenever he’s free, learning all your likes and dislikes, what your favourite hobbies are, etc. not only does he want to know everything he can about you, but it also helps to know how to best make you smile.

if he learns that you like to read, best believe he’s spending time with you in the library, the both of you talking about your favourite books; if you like to embroider, he’s definitely asking heleana if you can join her, making even sitting in silence with you as you converse with his sister.

aemond wants to make your life as easy as he can, and he knows that by reassuring you during your engagement that you’ll be safe and even potentially happy with him is just the first step.

gentle — how gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?

how is it that aemond can be both gentle and aggressive? to anyone looking in from the outside, he’s a rock, as hard as stone and the only expression you’ll find on his face is a smirk. he’s willing to prove himself to anyone — show how much of a warrior he is now that he’s practiced almost as much as he’s breathed.

but to you, behind the privacy of your chamber doors? it’s almost like he’s trying to handle a butterfly. he’s so nervous that maybe his rough, calloused hands will be too harsh on you, that his attempt at a smile might look a little too like a smirk. but, he tries, and that’s all you can ask of him.

hugs — do they like hugs? how often do they do it? what are their hugs like?

aemond is not a hugger. he finds it almost too intimate, too uncomfortable. when you first tried to hug him, all he felt was tense and stiff. none of it felt right.

now, he’ll give in to a hug on certain occasions, like when you’re upset — especially when you’re upset. the moment he sees your teary eyes and quivering lips, he’s instantly wrapping you in his embrace, forgetting all about the fact that on a normal day, he’d hate it. but, he knows you need comforting, and he’s willingly to do just about anything to make you feel better.

aemond’s hugs, despite not being used to them, feel like a protective circle, more so when you’re in need of comforting and he’s using the tightest grip he has on you. it’s like he needs you to know that he’s there, that he’s close by, that his body is always going to be entwined with yours.

i love you — how fast do they say the words?

it takes aemond forever — i’m talking years. again, though, can you really blame him when he’s not even sure what love actually is? he wasn’t shown barely even a smidge growing up — how’s he supposed to know that’s what he’s feeling every time he looks at you?

but, even when he finally figures it out, you best believe he’s keeping that secret to himself for a while longer. the idea of you not feeling the same way, of you feeling repulsed, of you laughing at his face for even thinking such a way is such a terrifying thought for him, he’d be to worried to ever confess.

when he eventually does, however, he’s not even aware he’s saying the words until his mind fully focuses on the expression you’re giving him. the two of you were in bed, you lay on top of him, your finger mindlessly running circles on his chest after spending your time intimately together. you were telling him about your day, how happy you’d been to spend it with heleana and how she always manages to make you feel young again, when the words just flew through him mouth.

needless to say, after that moment and the way you so lovingly reacted to it, aemond loves to whisper it in your ear.

jealousy — how jealous do they get? what do they do when they’re jealous?

aemond doesn’t like to admit, but he gets jealous more often than not. he’s fallen far and hard, and the idea of you ever falling for someone else, or someone trying to, it scares him.

he keeps his cool as best as he can, clenching both his jaw and his fists, hoping that the lord who offered you to dance at the feast won’t try to pull anything that will make him want to break his neck.

and, he’ll just stew in his jealousy until the whole things over. he’ll never take it out on you, because he knows you couldn’t exactly say no when a lord asks you to dance. and, he knows he’ll never have to courage to do what they can — he can’t dance with you in front of everybody, but he sure as hell can when your in your chambers, and you’re always there to reassure him that you’d take him over any lord for the rest of your life.

kisses — what are their kisses like? where do they like to kiss you? where do they like to be kissed?

for the longest time, aemond’s kisses are just pecks, and only across the back of your hand. when he started to get bolder the closer your relationship became, he’d peck your cheeks, your forehead. he was scared when he first kissed your lips, again just a peck, but after that first time, his hands cupping your face in such an intimate way, he couldn’t help himself. his kisses are still soft, but there’s a greediness to it, one that shows how starving he is for more of you.

aemond fucking loves it when you kiss his scar — he’s never felt so much love in his entire life. the way you never try to pressure him to take the patch off, your thumbs stroking soothingly against the white mark before placing such a gentle caress of a kiss against it? god, he’d do anything for you when you do that to him.

little ones — how are they around children? how many do they want?

aemond isn’t the best around children, never really know how best to act, or what to say, or worried he might come across as some monster just from the sight of him alone. but, when heleana had the twins, something in him changed. he cared for them unconditionally, allowing them to pull on his hair and climb on him just because they were bored. being an uncle made him realise that maybe one day he could do the same with his own children.

he would want as many kids as you would allow him — he’d definitely want to be the next jaehaerys when it comes to all his heirs. he couldn’t think of anything better than having a big family with you, uncaring as to whether they were all boys, all girls or a mixture of both. aemond would want boys for the longest time, teach to be fierce warriors and have them protect your family, but as the time got closer, he’d secretly start wanting a girl, who he’d raise the same and love all the more.

morning — how are mornings spent with them?

mornings with aemond are rare. more often than not, he’s unfortunately called for some business or counsel meeting he really couldn’t be bothered for, having to leave your warm embrace for a cold welcome somewhere else.

but, on the rare occasions where he somehow managed both the old gods and the new to allow him a free morning, you spend it stuck against one another, allowing yourselves more time to sleep in.

night — how are nights spent with them?

nights with aemond are either spent with the two of you wrapped in bed, on the chairs by the fire — but, either way, the two of you are full of conversation. it can be spent with whatever you’ve done during that day, or how you’re thinking of spending the next one.

aemond always makes sure someone has your fire going and a bath reading before either of you arrive there. he likes it when you have baths together, facing the window as you just look out at the sky. you could be spending it in silence for all he cares, as long as it’s just the two of you, he doesn’t care.

open — when would they start revealing things about themselves? do they say everything all at once or wait to reveal things slowly?

it would take aemond so long to open himself up to you, even when it came to the little things about him.

in order to do so, he felt as though he needed to know more about you first — about whether you would even be worthy of nothing all the ins and outs of him. and even then, when he finally understood you completely, it was nerve wracking for him, coming clean and being vulnerable with anyone.

aemond definitely took his time opening himself up, too, in the sense that he wouldn’t unload everything onto you at once. he would just subtly mention something he hadn’t told you before whenever it felt right in the middle of a conversation — and one thing he loved about you, was that you never made a big deal out of it. you just took the information in with a small smile on your face and carried on.

patience — how easily angered are they?

like i said before, this man gets jealous easy, and the same goes for his anger.

we all know what aemond is like and the shit he's been through, so is it really any surprise?

but he's good at hiding it - he does that smirk of his and his eyes narrow dangerously. to anyone else but you, they'd just think that was his resting expression.

however, when others take it just a little too far?? with you?? yeah, they're dead, the blood of the dragon comes out in him for sure.

he tries not to maim them too much for your sake, but he's definitely fed a few people to vhagar because they insulted you.

quizzes — how much would they remember about you? do they remember every little detail you mention in passing or forget everything?

aemond remembers everything.

he doesn't talk much; her prefers to listen, so he's very attentive with you. during your courting days, when you were getting to know one another more properly, he'd learned everything about you and made sure to keep it all locked within a little safe in his mind.

he'll remember all dates you consider important so he can do something special for you; he'll remember your favourite book so he can make sure you always have a spare with you; he'll remember your favourite flowers so he can spoil you rotten with them.

the list is simply endless with this man.

remember — what is their favourite memory of your relationship?

the day he finally revealed his sapphire to you.

it was one of his biggest worries; you'd not long been married, and you were getting along so well, he was terrified that the moment you laid eyes on it, you were going to run.

he couldn't stand the idea of you leaving him, of thinking him less than because of his scars.

but, it happened in the spur of a moment type of way - you'd wanted to see all of him for a while now but you didn't want to push him, and whilst the two of you were kissing heatedly in your rooms, one of your hands repeatedly got stuck between his eye patch and his hair. without even realising what he was doing, aemond took it off.

the silence was deafening as you gazed upon him, all of him, and aemond swore he could feel his heart in his throat.

all of that changed when you smiled at him as you always had done, filled with such love and admiration, and you carried on like nothing happened.

aemond knew from that moment on there was no other explanation other than you were put on this world just for him.

security — how protective are they? how would they protect you? how would they like to be protected?

aemond targaryen? protective? they're basically synonyms.

fr though, all aemond is thinking about is where you are and whether you're safe, but not in an overbearing, possessive way. he just knows that you're his biggest weakness, and it's probably painfully obvious to everyone else.

when you're apart, aemond always makes sure you have at least 3 of his most trusted guards with you at all times, even if you're only spending the day in the library.

when you're together, aemond's protective in the little ways. it's important to him that you're always on his good side, allowing him to see where you are and who else is nearby in case they try anything; if you're a little bit in front of him, he'll have his hand on the small of your back, for his sake more than yours, but if you're standing next to one another, he asks you to put his arm through his, the comfort of your presence giving him ease.

aemond knows you're not an overly protective person, but he absolutely adores it when you stand up for him, defending his honour when you hear someone slander him, be it for his looks or his demeanour. he loves how angry and protective you get over him, and he wouldn't want you to do anymore than that.

try — how much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts?

aemond's a 50/50 guy when it comes to stuff like this.

you mean a lot to him, and he'll do almost anything to put a smile on your face, so long as it's just between the two of you.

he won't want to do anything too extravagant or adventurous; the most it's gone has been when he took you flying on vhager for the first time.

he likes to keep it kind of low key. he make sure you have several bouquets of your favourite flowers in your rooms for you; the cooks have prepared your favourite breakfast, dinner and deserts; and he'll make sure he spends the entire day with you, clearing off anything else he needs to do and shoving it away for another day.

ugly — what are some bad habits of theirs?

aemond is big on silent treatment.

he didn't talk about any of his feelings when he was younger, and unfortunately, it's something he ended up taking with him as he grew older.

you know he tries his absolute hardest to not give you the silent treatment, but when it's been engrained within your brain your entire life, it's easier said than done. he knows you hate it, and it's something he's definitely trying to work on for you.

another thing would be his anger towards others. with you, he never gets angry, because how could he ever get angry at his sweet little wife? but with others, he's brutal.

it's another thing you hate when he does, the way he so callously beats and maims others for something you wouldn't think deserve such a punishment.

vanity — how concerned are they with their looks?

aemond's not exactly concerned, but he is cautious.

when he looks at you, all he sees are the stars in your eyes and the goddess far above within your features. and standing next to him, he knows it has to be such a sight.

he's always been one to take care of his hair - it's just his eye.

he doesn't like the way it stands out so brutishly against your shining figure, dark and cruel.

of course, the start to changing his way of thinking happens after he reveals his eye to you, and he realises that it only matters what you think, no one else.

whole — would they feel incomplete without you?

oh, yes.

beforehand, aemond never wanted a wife, he never wanted a family, he just simply wanted to protect his family like the dutiful son he was.

but once you've fallen into his dark embrace and he's finally gotten a taste of what marriage life is supposed to be like, aemond can't imagine anything any other way.

xtra — a random headcannon for them!!

aemond loves it when you take care/pamper him.

it's something he struggled to admit to himself, let alone to you, but once you're past that barrier, it's one of the things he looks forward to at the end of his day.

you'll have a bath prepared for him, dismissing the maids because no one takes care of him like you do, and you'll help wash him sensually, cleaning his hair and massaging his shoulder of all the knots built up.

he loves it when you play with his hair - washing it, brushing it, stroking it, you name it.

it just makes aemond feel so loved.

yuck — what are some things they wouldn’t like, in general or in a partner?

when your courting started, one of the most important things to aemond was that you got on with his sister, heleana.

he wasn't entirely bothered if you didn't get on with his mother because he knows she can be intimidating sometimes, and he definitely didn't care when it came to aegon.

but with heleana, he needed it to happen.

for aemond, it spoke a lot about the other person. if they didn't like heleana, for whatever excuse they may come up with, there had to be something wrong with him, they had to have been a bad person somewhere inside.

definitely off-putting for him.

zzz — what are their sleep habits?

he's a light sleeper in every sense.

he feels the wind coming through the open window? he's awake. he hears a rustle from outside his doors? he's awake. he feels you move slightly against him in your sleep? he's awake.

aemond is never really fully asleep, but it does get better once you start to sleep next to him.

he's always made sure you sleep the furthest away from the door, a habit he'll never get rid of for your safety.

he likes to have you as close to him as possible, wanting to feel your skin against his own for his comfort, no matter if it's the hottest summer known to man.

#𝐅𝐋𝐄𝐔𝐑𝐑’s work ── ✎#hotd #house of the dragon #aemond #aemond targaryen #aemond fluff #aemond smut #aemond x reader #aemond targaryen fluff #aemond targaryen smut #aemond targaryen x reader #dad aemond #aemond x pregnant reader #aemond headcannons #aemond targaryen headcannons

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angelsdean · 13 hours

Text

desitel feelings / love timeline (2 me)

DEAN:

immediate attraction in s4 (hello he has eyes!)

s4 - 5, going from allies to friends, crushing hard and shooting his shot / flirting, but all of it goes over cas's head

s6 betrayal / cas's s7 death: when he starts realizing that the way he feels abt cas is Different and More than just a crush / friendship. bobby and sam not reacting the same way to cas's betrayal and death really starts to get the gears turning. then when bobby dies, dean also realizes his grief over cas is different from his grief over bobby. (also the keeping his coat, carrying it with them in every new car all throughout s7. like that man was in Love-love.)

s8: purgatory solidifies dean's feelings. all dean can think about for a year is finding cas, saving cas. he prays to him every night. his mind is just a skipping record of cas, cas, cas. i think by this point he's accepted his romantic feelings for cas. and by the end of s8 he was ready to tell cas how he felt in the crypt. he changes "love" to "need" (which imo is MORE insane and vulnerable actually) and then dean perceives cas's actions after the crypt as a rejection of dean's feelings). meanwhile, cas has not yet even realized his own feelings for dean are romantic love yet, more on that in a minute.

s9 - s12 imo are dean grappling with the fact that his love is unrequited and trying to live with that and maybe move on (drowley summer of love).

s13 -s14 : first the widowers arc of it all. dean realizing no matter what, cas was IT for him. there's never going to be anyone else for him. he doesn't want anyone else. dean accepting that cas is effectively his life partner and he's fine with them staying platonic (bc he still thinks cas doesn't feel the same way). dean stops hooking up. dean is content with the family unit they have made for themselves.

s15: dean grappling with the knowledge of chuck's manipulation over the years. dean questioning what's even real ("is his love for cas even real?") cas asserting that they are real. divorce arc. destiel miscommunication at its finest. dean once again thinking cas doesn't care for him the way he cares for cas. dean nearly losing cas again in purgatory and deciding to put his heart on the line (was going to confess before cas cut him off). then---cas's "i love you." dean overwhelmed in the moment. dean still not sure what cas's words mean until cas is taken by the empty and he processes the speech and declaration. and then he realizes--cas was in love with him. it was mutual. they could've had it. they could've been together for years. the one thing they both wanted---

CAS

immediate attraction in s4 (hello he has eyes! many eyes in fact!)

s4 - 5: going from allies to friends. cas remembering what it's like to FEEL again ("for the first time") after his millionth lobotomy. dean re-awakening those feelings, both for humanity at large and for dean specifically. but cas doesn't have a name for these feelings yet. he attributes them to his bond with dean / assumes most people feel like this about dean.

s6 - 8: cas largely still attributing his feeling for dean to their unique bond. cas putting the mission first. cas also dealing with his own guilt over his failures. not a lot of time for him to process his feelings for dean.

s9: cas has his italicized "oh" moment. i think it's a combination of being human and for the first time all the angel stuff isn't there, he can't attribute his feelings to their "bond." he's rooted in his body for the first time, really in-tune with his physical reactions too. i think early s9 is when he starts to realize his feelings for dean are different but he's still not quite putting a name to them. then metatron calls him out on those feelings (his snarky knowing "he's in love...with humanity") and then dean dying really solidify cas's feelings. he is now aware.

aaaaaand then s10 - 12 is him grappling with those feelings at the same time that dean is really starting to accept that cas doesn't feel the same and is trying to accept that they'll be nothing but platonic and move on. so that's why you get stuff like dean calling cas their "brother" (he's trying to be ok with this) while cas looks sick to his stomach bc he is just now really accepting and processing the fact that he's in romantic love with dean. gotta love that classic destiel miscommunication, never being on the same page at the same time.

by s13 he's accepted he's in love and is now thinking it's one sided and this is all they'll ever be. he's also still kinda avoiding it all throughout the later seasons, putting the Mission first again, leaving more often, focusing on jack stuff. really just putting his feelings on the back burner.

then s15. just like i said in the dean bullet point, the divorce arc stuff is more classic miscommunication. cas so badly wants dean to ask him to stay. dean so badly wants cas to stop leaving. they both need to just have one good conversation about all of this. anyways, the "i love you." truly i think mr. avoidant cas would have continued to keep his feelings for dean to himself perhaps forever, had it not been a life or death situation where he realized telling dean his feelings would trigger the empty deal. but he does tell him. and my personal headcanon is that when he does tell him he gets hit with a wave of feeling from dean (along with the love in his eyes) that basically confirms to cas that dean actually has felt the same way all this time. and also, i think cas has partially known for a while but let his own self doubt and insecurities convince him that dean couldn't possibly feel the same.

Additionally: i do enjoy another late seasons variation, where BOTH of them have a mutual awareness of each other's feelings, but they both let insecurities and circumstances convince them it's not the right time, or they don't deserve to have this. they keep putting off talking abt this thing between them because there's always another apocalypse or big bad. because saving the world always comes before their own personal desires and happiness. so they keep putting it off until it's too late, until there's no time left. by s15 they're both feeling desperate. it's the end. they both feel they need to say something. dean tries in The Trap. cas finally does in Despair. and then there's just no time left. it's over. they never got to have it. (YET. because their story ain't over!)

anyways, i'm multitudes girlie and can enjoy many different interpretations, esp in fics, but this is my main destiel + feelings interpretation for when i'm watching the show and engaging with canon.

TLDR: they both start Feeling things for each other immediately. dean realizes these feelings are romantic love and puts that name to them first around late s6/s7. dean Accepts these feeling around s8. while cas has his realization that these intense feelings are romantic love around s9. and accepts them at some point between s10 - 12ish.

#long post #destiel #headcanons #mymeta #dean studies #cas studies #destiel dynamics

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madlori · 14 hours

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there are a lot of headcanons about tommy becoming resentful of the time buck spends with eddie, but give me the reverse. give me eddie resentful of the time buck spends with tommy.

eddie's alone and sad with chris gone. both buck and tommy, together and individually, try to do things with him and be there for him but sometimes they actually do want to be alone together, and eddie just...can't seem to stop getting in the way. he invites himself along to stuff. he asks if he can come hang out when they're having a night at home together. he takes up their free evenings with obsessively making plans so he can avoid being alone in his house and they're just starting to get worn down.

eventually buck has to sit him down and say, eddie, my man, my dude, you're family to me, i care about you so much, so does tommy, but for the love of all that's holy please understand that sometimes i need to be alone with my boyfriend.

and eddie is embarrassed that he's been so clingy but also low-key hates that they have this relationship with each other that doesn't include him. he's happy that buck's found the love he always yearned for and deserved, but he can't stop feeling hurt and left out and there's just no way to make it better.

so what does he do? does he stay resentful and let it fester until it becomes anger and it ruins his friendship with buck?

maybe at one point he would have done that. but this time...this time he recognizes the path he's on and decides to take action to not let that happen. buck is too important to him. he has to find a way to occupy himself without relying soley on buck.

so he joins a boxing gym that nobody else goes to and starts working out there. he makes a friend who's also dealing with loneliness.

he starts volunteering on off-shift mornings at a botanical garden and finds that digging in the dirt and getting sweaty and dirty is very therapeutic. after a few weeks, some of the other volunteers invite him to come to brunch after their shift.

he discovers the LAFD Discord and that it has a whole bunch of sub-groups where first responders from all over the city get together for activities. he joins the golf group. he joins the cooking group. he goes on an axe-throwing outing.

he makes other friends.

there are no other friends like Buck. there will never be another friend like Buck. but there are people he can spend time with now, and give Buck a break so he can spend time with Tommy and also just have time to himself.

buck still brings dinner over once a week. he takes eddie on hikes. he and tommy fly him to san diego for the day and they go to the beach. but eddie also goes golfing with the LAFD Discord club. He goes to Station 133, which has the nicest kitchen in the LAFD, for the cooking club and learns some new recipes.

He has brunch with Chim and Maddie. He and Hen take Mara and Denny to mini-golf. He helps Bobby do DIY work on their new home to bring the kitchen up to his standards.

He learns to live without Chris. He learns to have support that doesn't entirely revolve around Buck. He watches Buck and Tommy get more and more serious, but now he's not resentful or scared - he's only happy, to see his best friend so happy. When they move in together, the three of them spend the first night Buck lives with Tommy eating pizza, drinking beer and watching baseball on TV.

And the first time Buck and Tommy ask him to come on a hike with them, and he has to decline because he has other plans, he's relieved, because they still want him around. They still want to be his friend. He hasn't worn them down.

He will always need Buck, he will alway love him. But he knew it wasn't fair to make Buck his entire support system...so he built a bigger one, and it's big enough to support them all.

When Chris facetimes him, he notices that his dad is looking less despondent. he has things to talk about, like the botanical garden and Bobby and Athena's new house and the firepit he's helping Buck build in Tommy's backyard. He's more open and honest. He doesn't sound so desperate. So Chris says he wants to come home, and when he does, Eddie's just happy he's back. Not desperate, not resentful or angry. And he has these new friends.

One of those new friends is another volunteer at the botanical gardens. she's a trauma nurse and does gardening to help her cope. eddie suggests she might like to try boxing as exercise, and she loves it. she is invited to a firefam BBQ at Buck and Tommy's house, and chris can't help but notice that she looks at his dad like he's really something -- and he's looking back the same way.

and if Chris had been worried that his time away would have hurt his dad, or made him sadder -- which he definitely didn't worry about, totally didn't, never at all -- he's not worried about that anymore.

#i made myself emotional about eddie #eddie diaz #bucktommy #platonic buddie #buddie friendship #9-1-1 spec #9-1-1 spoilers #evan buckley #tommy kinard #tevan #kinley

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darnell-la · 3 days

Note

dom mean billy x dom gentle sweet eddie x sub reader punishment smut.

at one point eddie is hesitant telling billy not be mad. Lots of praise degradation. Maybe at one point reader head is resting on eddies lap and he’s cooing her wiping her tears telling her ‘it’s okay, be a good girl for billy’

word count: 3.6k

warning: slight cnc (reader allows any and everything to happen), slapping, heavy choking, heavy cussing, face grabbing, hair pulling, begging, orgasms, creampie, face fucking, rough sex, etc.

note: in this story, Billy is a mean partner, but not as mean as we could’ve written him. don’t worry, he’ll be sweet by the end of his mission. the reader is also a bit toxic and confusing. DO NOT READ IF YOU DO NOT LIKE CNC RELATED WRITING.

WE DO NOT ALLOW COPIES OF OUR STORIES!

————————————————————————

3rd person pov

Y/n is currently at a party her “partners” told her not to go to. She loves the two long-haired men, but toxicity is what started the relationship and they’ve only been talking for a few weeks, maybe a couple of months.

Being in a toxic relationship is not exactly what y/n planned. Especially with two people, but something happened, and she went along with it.

Now she’s at a party she knows she’s not supposed to be at, but she can’t help it. She likes seeing them upset, knowing if they were to ever make her upset, her heart would crumble, because why don’t they care about her feelings?

“Didn’t think I’d see you tonight,” a familiar voice said behind y/n, making her turn around with a smile on her face. “Well surprise,” she smiled with her pretty teeth.

“Where are you, you know, guard dogs,” Jason said, not knowing what they are to her and what he should call them, but he has an idea of what they claim her as.

“Don’t know, and don’t care,” she said then took a sip from her drink. “Hm — So you’re here alone tonight? What a bummer,” Jason took a look at her lips, watching how glazed they got from the alcohol she had just drank.

“Yeah, such a bummer,” she sarcastically rolled her eyes before laughing with him. The only time y/n and Jason talk is at parties. Flirting it teaming up drinking games is all that they’ve done, but Billy and Eddie are convinced they’ll do more if they hang out too much.

Billy and Eddie had just walked through the doors of the party they didn’t want to go to for obvious reasons, but they were forced after they came to their girlfriend’s dorm and realized she was gone.

They knew exactly where she had gone, and Billy quickly imagined the things she could’ve been doing alone, and if he saw anything he didn’t like, he warned Eddie he wasn’t going to leave there without y/n knowing to never go back again.

Eddie on the other hand is pissed too, probably just as much as Billy, but one of them has to be more calm about it, otherwise this night really wouldn’t go well for y/n.

“Split up and look for her. I hate this big rich prick house,” Billy said before walking off and going straight to the kitchen, knowing she usually drinks when she comes to parties.

Eddie took a breath before looking around patiently. It didn’t take long for him to see her laughing and giggling with Jason Carver.

“Goddamnit,” Eddie cussed as he made his way over to him. He’s pissed because he knew she’d end up talking to him and he specifically told her not to, and he knows for a fact of Billy sees this, he’ll flip shit.

“Y/n, let’s go,” Eddie wrapped his large hand around Y/n’s wrist and tugged. She moved a few inches until Jason came around and pushed Eddie off of him.

“Hey!” Y/n said, not liking the at Jason always gets physical with him. “Relax, sweetheart. Don’t touch her like that you freak,” Jason said, making Eddie chuckle at the old name.

“You don’t mean shit to me anymore, Carver, so I advise you to leave me and especially my girlfriend alone,” Eddie said, making people look our way. People have never heard it until now. He’s finally confirmed it.

“What? I’m not your girlfriend?” Y/n said, boiling Eddie’s blood already. How could she say that in front of all these people? In front of Jason.

“Y/n, don’t fuck with me right now. Let’s go,” he motioned for her to come with him, but she didn’t move. “Thinks she wants to stay with us, don’t you sweetheart?” Jason asked as he backed up and snaked his hands around Y/n’s waist.

“I-I have to go, Jason. Thank you for the drinks,” Y/n pulled away from Jason slowly with a slight smile. “Ah, c’mon, baby. Just stay,” Jason softly grabbed her hand, but she knew Jason.

He could either want her to stay to make Eddie jealous, to make Billy jealous, to get Chrissy jealous, or to get in Y/n’s pants, but she knows he wouldn’t actually want to be with her. Yeah, she’s sweet, but he’s still too worried about his reputation.

“I gotta go,” she said as she slowly pulled away then turned around and walked towards Eddie. Eddie quickly gripped y/n’s upper arm in anger. “That’s what I fuckin’ thought,” he said as he pulled y/n through the huge house to find a bathroom or the stairs.

“Let’s just go,” Y/n said, not wanting to be here anymore since the fun is over. “Oh, you’re not gonna get out of this shit that easy,” Eddie pulled y/n up the stairs, not caring if she was tripping.

“Eds, we can’t just walk through people’s houses like this,” she said as he checked every room, looking for a specific room for them both.

“You think I give a fuck about this dipshits house!? God, you’re so fuckin’ slow,” Eddie said as he finally found Jason's room. It’s never hard to tell what’s his and what isn’t.

“Eddie, this is Jason’s room!” Y/n said as she was pushed into the room. “And how do you know that?” Eddie asked, looking through her soul after he closed the door. Y/n stayed silent, not wanting to piss him off even more tonight.

“On the bed,” Eddie demanded, and for some reason, she went as quickly as possible. She didn’t see it, but Eddie smirked with a chuckle, knowing she’d always be submissive.

“Good girl. Maybe I will take it easy,” Eddie said as he took his jacket off, looking at his beautiful but bratty girl. “Just wished you’d stay that way for me, but you’re full of so many fucking surprised,” Eddie said with a forced smile.

“I-I’m sorry,” y/n spoke, making Eddie feel bad already. “Fuck,” Eddie said under his breath as he turned around and covered his face. He tried being upset and angry with her, but she’s just too sweet.

“I really am, Eds. I’m sorry I embarrassed you downstairs. I-I won’t do it again,” y/n stayed still on the bed, seeing Eddie’s body movement. She doesn’t know if he’s going to explode or forgive her.

“You can’t just walk around in the public and act free. This is why we don’t want you out. If Billy saw you before I did, you wouldn’t be in this position right now. Especially after you let that shithead call you sweetheart and baby in front of my face. Those are my words for you. No one else,” Eddie said now in front of y/n.

“You need to think more, baby,” Eddie softly grabbed y/n’s cheek. “I-I’m sorry,” she said again causing him to nod his head. “I know you are, but you can’t always get let off. I-I don’t want to hurt you or force you but you can’t just- You can’t do this shit and get away with it,” Eddie said.

“And I’m not breaking up with you, so the only option is you change or punish you until you learn, but I can’t always do that. Billy will,” he said as y/n moved off of the bed slowly.

“I’m sorry,” she said for the third time as she slowly went to her knees. “I know,” Eddie rubbed her cheek as she slowly tugged on his belt and jeans until she pulled him out.

Y/n wasted no time to take him in her mouth. “Augh,” he groaned as he threw his head back and pushed y/n further into him as he bucked his hips. He’s always so easy to pleasure.

“You’re just so good to me,” Eddie said with his eyes shut tight, feeling her tongue wrap around his tip every time she sucks up and then goes back down until she couldn’t take any more of him.

“So fuckin’ good,” he said. Y/n looked up at him, seeing his head still laid back and his mouth parted. She knew she had him right where she liked him. It always makes her think, should she let this relationship happen? Should she finally commit?

Eddie groaned at the speed change and her touch around his hips, moving him at a paste she wanted. Her gags were heard more and the head became sloppy, just how Eddie liked it.

She knew he was enjoying it by the way he moaned and his hips bucked. He was already twitching in her mouth.

“Just like that,” Eddie rubbed his face with both of his hands again, not believing he kept letting this happen. He hates complaining about it though because he loves it. He loves the way she sucks him up with those eyes he’s not even looking at right now. That’s how good she treats him.

“Got me close. Fuck,” Eddie said, finally looking down at her, watching his cock move in and out of her thick and soft lips. “Never lettin’ you go,” Eddie said as y/n hummed on his cock.

“Shit,” Eddie bucked, not wanting to cum yet but couldn’t hold back. Y/n sucked a bit harder, focusing more on the tip to suck him dry. She always wants it all in her mouth. No leftovers.

“Are you fucking serious!? You’re tooo her upstairs so she can suck your cock? She fuckin’ disobeyed us and you couldn’t at least fuck her face!? You just let her suck you on her own paste!?” Billy’s angry voice came through the door until he was standing next to the both of them.

“Dude, relax. Not everything has to be rough,” Eddie said as he softly pulled y/n to her feet. “Well, that depends on what she did. Did you fuck anyone tonight?” Billy asked, getting straight to it.

“No, what the fuck!?” Y/n said, upset that he always thinks she’ll open her legs for people. “Oh sure you fuckin’ didn’t,” Billy said with a chuckle. “Kiss? Dance?” He asked, hoping to get her on one of those, but what he didn’t know was that she was going to piss him off with something else.

“No Billy, but since you’re always in my business, I did talk, joke, and laugh with Jason,” y/n said with crossed arms. “Jason Carver?” Billy asked in a serious tone, not too loud and not too quiet.

“Yeah, and I had fun. So what I talked to him, that shouldn’t matter to you because we’re not officially!” Y/n yelled at him, making Eddie back up. He already knew she fucked up.

In a split second, Billy gripped y/n’s neck and forced her back on the bed until he was hovered over her kicking, slapping and yelling body.

“You’re gonna rub that shit in my face and think I won’t do shit about it!?” Billy yelled in her face as a little bit of spit splashed on her. “Get off,” y/n tried saying in a serious tone, but that didn’t work with him.

“You think ima get off, knowing you’d let any other dude her slip right into you pussy if the only thing they had to do was talk to you!?” Billy yelled the last few words, tightening his grip on her neck.

“At least they deserve it,” y/n said, not knowing what she was saying. Eddie knew she was just throwing words out there, but Billy? Billy couldn’t focus on that. He was truly angry.

“Oh, so now I don’t deserve you? All the days and nights I’ve fucked you and rocked your pretty little world, you wanna tell me I don’t deserve you?” Billy genuinely asked.

“Oh oh, but Jason does? Jason fuckin’ Carver does!?” Billy asked before laughing to himself. “You know what’s fucking sad, y/n? Do you!?” Billy waited for an answer. “What?” She plainly asked, trying to act like his grip was getting to her.

“If I were to go to any bitch here, you’d be upset. If I simply looked at Carol, Heather, or anyone else, you’d cry. You’d cry like a pathetic little bitch, but it’s okay for you to go after people we specifically don’t like? That’s sad,” Billy said.

Billy never knew what he wanted from y/n. Before he put her in her place, he always hoped for an answer to why she did this, but at the same time, he didn’t care, because whether she liked it or not, she belonged to him.

“Whatever,” a tear rolled down y/n’s cheek at the scenarios he gave. Eddie knows she’s sensitive when they mention their being with other women but Billy keeps talking about it.

Even though he’s not saying he’s going to do it and he’s just telling her how ignorant and selfish she gets, Eddie still finds it harsh.

“C’mon man, let’s just relax and let this one go. She’s already crying,” Eddie said. “Only if she promises to be right. Just be right, and we can be happy. It’s not that hard!” Billy said, but y/n’s always been stuck up.

She wants to be official, she’s always wanted to, but she’s afraid at times. She could say yes and have no regrets later, but because Billy’s threatening her, she refuses.

She’s always trying to out-dominate Billy, but that’s impossible. There’s no way she’s getting out of this situation untouched and unfucked.

“Get off of me. I’m going home,” Y/n said, moving her body to get off of the bed, but that triggered him. He’s had enough for tonight. “Goddamnit,” Eddie sighed with his head thrown back, knowing she fucked the night up for herself.

Billy harshly pulled y/n’s dress up before ripping her lace panties clean off of her. “Hey! I said I’m going home!” Y/n shouted, slapping at his arms, but that never pleased him.

Billy continued until he pulled himself out of his jeans. “Let’s see how demanding you are with a cock up your cunt,” Billy said before slipping into y/n so easily that it hurt at how deep he got in the first thrust.

“God, Billy,” Eddie felt bad as he watched y/n’s words get caught in her mouth. “Gonna keep talkin’ to Carver after this, huh? Huh!?” Billy slammed his hips into y/n as she cried in pain but so much pleasure.

She’s always been the type to hide it, but by the time she couldn’t hold it anymore, she would be too fucked out to tell him how much she loves him or Eddie.

“I didn’t think so,” Billy used his free hand to grab y/n’s face and squeeze until she whined. “Keepin’ those moans in will fuck you over by the end of the night, so I suggest you open your fucking mouth now,” Billy growled.

“B-Billy,” y/n seemed so lost in words that she didn’t know what to say to him. She can’t act like she doesn’t like this. She’s always loved the way Billy treated her. She loves it rough.

“Go a little easy on her, man. She's falling apart,” Eddie said, feeling bad for her, but he couldn't ignore the rock in his pants. He never can.

“Oh, shit the hell up, Munson. Don’t act like you wouldn’t fuck her just like this if she wants so submissive to you,” Billy grew angry at Eddie for always telling him to relax or take it easy.

“No, you wouldn’t take it easy. No one would. No one would take it easy on a slur like you,” Billy leaned forward to get a closer look at y/n who’s currently mind-fucked.

“No one soul. All they do is think about abusing your cunt like some fuck toy or some whore in the street. You need to be more grateful for us, baby. Needa understand that if it wasn’t for you, you’d be some worn-out slut for parties like these,” Billy said, stinging y/n but she loves it.

“You already whore for us. Open your legs so fuckin’ easy and cum in seconds. You really think I don’t notice how wet you are when I plunge into your cunt, y/n? I always fuckin’ notice. Always notice how easy you are for me,” Billy leaned down in the crook of y/n’s neck as he pushed deeper into her, making her scratch her shoulders and back.

“I’m gonna cum,” y/n said low and shrieky. “Ah uh, I didn’t say you can cum. You haven’t been a good girl. You don’t get to fuckin’ cum,” Billy said, thrusting a bit faster to be a dick as always.

“C-Can’t hold it,” she cried, tears streaming from her eyes. “You’re gonna fuckin’ hold it, y/n, because I tell you what. If you don’t, ima gonna fuck you so fuckin’ hard,” Billy moved both of his hands to connect to her neck, pulling her into his hard and harsh thrusts.

“She’s not gonna be able to hold it, Billy, just pull out or let her cum, man,” Eddie said as he got on the bed, seeing how he could comfort y/n in this situation but it’s hard to when she’s basically crying and grinding up against Billy.

“O-Off, off!” Y/n tried pushing Billy away, but he didn’t budge. Billy gave a few slaps to her face, telling her to stop fighting. “Take it, slut. Take my damn cock like the cock drunk whore you are,” Billy spat harsh words out as her body went stiff.

“Augh!” Y/n moaned loudly as her feet kicked the bed. “That’s it, keep cummin’ so I can punish you some more,” Billy whispered with an evil smile that Eddie saw plastered all over his face.

Eddie knew this wasn’t getting good for y/n, so he went under her and rested her head in his lap.

“S-Stop! Stop!” Y/n second orgasm washed over her so quickly she couldn’t even process the first. “You shut the fuck up,” Billy slapped a hand over her mouth with his one hand still gripping her neck.

Y/n reached an arm back on Eddie’s clothes, holding them tightly as he stroked the side of her forehead to calm her as Billy took what he wanted.

“Just relax, baby. He’s close. Take it for a little while longer,” Eddie whispered to her as her eyes rolled back and her vision seemed to get bad.

Billy’s groan began to sound wild. You’d think his anger would have calmed down by now, but he feels like he could go another few rounds.

“It’s okay, be a good girl for Billy,” Eddie heard a yelp from y/n as Billy dug his nails into y/n’s neck to force her moans out.

Eddie wanted to push Billy off but didn’t know for what reason. Was it to help y/n rest for a few minutes, or was it to take his turn from the hard-on he got again.

“Just cum again, sweetheart. I’m right here. I’ll help you,” Eddie said before leaning over to rub at y/n’s sensitive clit. “N-No! No more!” Y/n begged before Billy got the chance to bring his weight down on her mouth.

“Yes, you can, baby. You want Billy to stop right?” Eddie asked, long into the poor and horny girl's eyes as he wiped at her years. She didn’t nod or say anything as she got lost in his eyes, but he knew what she wanted.

“Then cum, baby. I know you want to. You can give us at least one more. Just one. Wanna taste you, baby,” Eddie said before seeing y/n’s eyes roll back once again.

“Yeah, that’s it, baby,” Eddie rubbed faster. “So good for us,” Billy groaned as his cock twitched. “Yes, she is. So fuckin’ good,” Eddie praised as her body shook uncontrollably.

“Gonna pump you full then make you talk to Jason and tell him what a slut you are for us. Shit, you’ll even show him how full you are,” Billy said, meaning every word he said.

Y/n mined at the thought of Billy and Eddie wanting to claim her this bad.

“Mhm, fuck yes. Fuck yes, baby, suck me in. Suck me back in, baby, fuck!” Billy slammed into y/n a few harsh times before hurting himself deep into her as he spilled into her.

“You’re always a good little fuck for me. Don’t need anyone else havin’ this lucky cunt,” Billy said as he pulled out with a groan, watching the way her walls tried pulling him back.

“Fuck,” Eddie said under his breath. “So pretty,” Eddie softly rubbed over her whole cunt. Billy finally got off of y/n, allowing her to breathe so much better and let out her whines.

“C'mon, baby. I wasn’t even that rough,” Billy said, feeling like he took it way easier than he planned. “Dude,” Eddie said before they both laughed.

“It’s okay — She’s a good girl and took it so well, didn’t you, baby?” Billy asked as he leaned towards her face, seeing how fucked out her eyes are. “So well,” Billy said before leaning in for a kiss.

Y/n whined in between her kisses, desperately trying to taste him, but it was hard. Everything felt hard to do right now.

“I like the idea of going down to Jason and showing him how much you belong to us, but I don’t want anyone else seeing how pretty this princess is,” Eddie said, softly slapping at y/n’s pussy, making her cry in pleasure.

“So how about you tell Jason you want him to take you to his room so he can see the mess you made. Then you can lay on his bed with us next to you, and spread that pretty pussy for his rich prick eyes,” Eddie said, wanting to hurt Jason as much as possible.

Billy pulled back and looked down at y/n, waiting for her answer. “O-Okay,” she said, not caring about how shitty that would be of her. She wants to make her partners happy and obey for once.

“Atta girl,” Eddie rubbed y/n’s cheek as she caught her breath so she could make it downstairs and not tip over from his good Billy rocked her world.

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darsynia · 2 days

Text

New (Nomad Steve/Nurse!Reader)

MCU MASTERLIST | STEVE ROGERS MASTERLIST | Ro Roll

Summary: As soon as two weeks ago he’d have said that keeping to himself was the easiest part of his life right now… but that was before he met you.

Word Count/Warnings: 2,400 | None

As 1/7 of my Birthday fics for @ronearoundblindly, NEw is a first kiss hurt/comfort fic about writing your own happy endings. It's a hugely busy week for you and there's no pressure to respond right now, they'll all be here when you have time!

Excerpt:

Lately it feels like exhaustion is your religion. Stay up way too late, stumble home confused and euphoric and try to will yourself to sleep, then wake up and perform miracles to get yourself back to the hospital for your shift. You’ve always been a night owl, but your shift supervisor practically considers you the ward’s brand ambassador, and to keep the peace, you agreed to stay on the day shift. You’d gotten the schedule down to a science, right up until a tall, gorgeous complication started to jog at the track after hours.

The name he’d given feels fake, but nothing else about him does, and you know all about needing to distance yourself from the horrible things you’ve seen at work. You suspect he was a soldier until he got out, and after that probably a firefighter, but you’ve never asked. Mostly, you just try to keep up with him. The sum total of the words you’ve spoken to each other probably wouldn’t make for a single meet-cute in a romance novel, but they feel consequential enough to you.

NEW

It takes Steve a painful amount of time to adjust to hiding.

It isn’t just that he’s recognizable, it’s that he’s always stood out, always. As a small baby he’d been gasped over by strangers, as a sickly child he’d see concern and aversion in their eyes, and once he’d grown into a scrawny adult, those reactions had just intensified.

Some accused him of making himself sick to avoid the war, as though he could have secretly known it was coming and starved himself into stunted growth just in case. For some, it didn’t matter what he looked like-- any man who wasn’t at war was fair game for ridicule. Even those who didn’t care either way found his presence unnerving simply because men his age were scarce. He reminded them of the people they missed, the people who didn’t have the ‘protection’ of being physically unable to join up.

If his life was a narrative, he’d be the best protagonist he could be.

Even so, there was a special kind of hell in wanting so desperately to fight for justice and be told how lucky you were to be disallowed. Back then, it had been important to him not to hide. There were certainly others in the same boat as he was, men who needed groceries, to watch the news in the theater, to have a walk in the fresh air. So he went out anyway. He was the example, the target, the archetype.

Once he had the serum, hiding meant all the hard work by Doctor Erskine and Howard Stark would be for nothing, so he didn’t. Even in tights.

The symbolism was even stronger when he came out of the ice. Now, people look to him as a lodestar meant to bring them all back to decency and safety, and he wants to, but with action, not iconography, no matter how potent.

That hadn’t been enough, and now they’re here.

“You’ve been tying your shoes for five minutes, man. You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. Thanks, Sam.” Steve finishes up quickly and straightens. “Daydreaming, I guess.”

Sam leans over and looks out through the thin rectangle of night sky visible through the thick curtains. “At this point I think you can just call it dreaming. Stay safe out there.”

Steve watches Sam head off into the kitchen before he slips out of the apartment door and locks it behind him. He and Sam keep nocturnal schedules, but Natasha’s expert-level camouflage skills have netted her a day job that keeps them all afloat. Their plan of moving from community to community taking seasonal jobs has worked well so far.

This is the most ‘domestic’ of their locations to date; they’re spending the lead-up to Christmas in a small city in the midwest full of people who know how to keep their heads down and get things done. No one’s expecting a trio of superheroes to settle in a satellite town whose main attraction is a vintage bowling alley, but there are other calculations to consider. People make eye contact here. They bring their real selves to the conversation, and Steve’s been struggling with some real guilt about that.

As soon as two weeks ago he’d have said that keeping to himself was the easiest part of his life right now… but that was before he’d met you.

As it has for the past week, your heart starts racing when you get close to the track. The problem is, you were run ragged today, and you feel just like the mermaid from the original fairy tale. Every single step is like knives stabbing the balls of your feet, and your arches are singing ‘fuck you’ so loudly you expect Ursula to show up any minute.

You stop on the bench right inside the gate to let the burning pain subside a bit. The last thing you want is for your burly new crush to think you’re a lightweight, not now that the months of forcing yourself to run after work have paid off so nicely with… well, him.

Besides Frank, the school’s night security officer and all-around nicest tough-guy in town, there isn’t anyone else visible on the brightly-lit track. You take the opportunity to cross your ankle over your knee and reach for your shoe in preparation to swap it with the sneakers in your bag. These are a new pair, and you’d planned on wearing them every few days to break them in. As soon as you get your heel off you understand just how much you screwed up by not bringing the others in to swap into once you realized how go-go-go your day would be. The swelling is bad, and the beginnings of blisters sting in various places. There’s no way in hell you can jog today, and walking home is going to be excruciating. It’s a god-damned miracle you have the day off tomorrow.

“I don’t know what I was thinking,” you mutter under your breath. The John F. Kennedy High School campus is the same distance from the bus stop as your apartment is, but in the opposite direction. Your feet had already been screaming, why hadn’t you gone home instead?”

“Thought you weren’t coming!”

Your crush’s voice cuts through the late November chill, warming your heart. You look up and see him crossing from under the bleachers, his hands stuffed into the pockets of his hoodie. He’s far enough away that you let yourself sigh, half in addlepated pleasure in seeing him, half in utter frustration at yourself. He’s the reason you came, of course. You’d walk across fire to spend time with this guy, and by the time you head home, that’s definitely what it’ll feel like.

“Sorry, long day,” you tell him once he’s close enough.

Hurrying, you yank off your second shoe and nearly swallow your tongue from the pain. Tears stand in your eyes, exacerbated by the surprise when you look up and your new friend is right there, almost like he'd teleported over. He’s crouched in front of you, and there’s nowhere to hide from his concerned scrutiny.

He confirms your assessment of ex-military by the professional once-over he’s doing, even more so when he takes your shoe out of your weary hand and tests the bend of its sole with a practiced hand.

“Don’t say it--”

“These are not very good shoes,” he pronounces. With a move as graceful as a ballet dancer, he shifts onto the bench beside you, still examining the shoe. You snag it from his hand and tuck it into your backpack with its mate, pulling out your tennis shoes before zipping back up.

There’s no chance you’ll be able to put them on, but, one thing at a time.

“You’re right. I didn’t expect to be the runner on the ward today, but we were shorthanded.” You wince at your feet, both of which are looking decidedly puffy. Shit, will either pair of shoes fit, at this point? “There’s a ‘best foot forward’ joke I could be making about hoping you’d be here running tonight, but honestly, I’m too wiped out to make it.” You look over as you finish speaking and catch his pleased reaction. It’s understated, but it’s there, enough to make you brave. “I have the day off tomorrow, maybe I can give you a twelve hour rain check? I bet you’re even more handsome in sunlight.”

To your dismay, his face falls and he looks down. You turn your head away, unwilling to see the evidence of just how badly you’d gauged this. He’s very clearly not interested.

“Or not! ‘Not’ is also okay, sorry about that, I--”

The words dissolve on your tongue at the gentle touch of his knuckle on your chin, turning your face back toward his in the time-honored tradition of romantic male leads.

“Please don’t-- Running with you has been-- Believe me, during the day-- I would like to, I just can’t.” Disappointment is etched across his handsome features, but more than that, you can see the way his mind is racing just like yours had just seconds ago. The man looks like he’s desperate to rewind to a moment that doesn’t feel like this.

There’s a remedy to that, and after a day of doing your best to fix everything and everyone around you, it feels like the most natural thing in the world to surge up and touch your lips to his.

You meant to pull back right away, mirroring that thing where a couple knows each other so well that gentle brush is all that’s needed-- but your midnight warrior is still in the middle of the book. His large hand shifts to cup your cheek, holding you still for his head tip where he deepens the kiss and scrambles your brain. It’s impulsive, desperate, and honest. You grab at his clothing, needing to believe this is real, even as the two of you follow kisses with more kisses like you’re saying goodbye in an airport.

“Doesn’t look much like you’re runnin’!” the security guard calls out, his words so distant they almost don’t register at first.

That ends things abruptly, but the two of you don’t move much farther apart than a few inches, his hand still on your face, yours with a handful of his sweatshirt, right over his heart.

“Textbook,” you whisper, flattening your hand out to smooth over his chest. It’s solid muscle under there.

“Oh?” he asks, pulling his hand away swiftly like he’d forgotten how to be a gentleman in his eagerness to touch you. It’s charming as hell.

“This whole operation, it’s right out of the romance novel guidebook,” you praise. “I ought to look for cameras.” A shadow crosses his face, and you suddenly put the pieces together. “Shit, you’re hiding from something, aren’t you? That’s why you freaked out about coming here in the daytime.”

He’s already standing, but instead of stalking away from you, he’s looking around the track, turning in a circle of deep concentration. He’s looking for cameras, but not in a joking way, not as part of a bit.

“The school district would rather spend the money on Frank than cameras, if that’s what you’re looking for,” you murmur, pushing your voice into steadiness out of sheer determination. “The city contributes. It’s been so much safer when everyone who wants a night walk comes here, but there are fewer of us out in the winter months.” The fall chill is actually helping with the pain in your feet, so that's something.

Your mysterious crush is facing you again, apparently satisfied that the two of you aren't being watched by anything more permanent than good old Frank. “I’m sorry,” he says. The words have a horrid finality to them, but you’re focused on his eyebrows. They’re not on board with the rest of his body language. They’re beseeching, rather than resolute, hopeful rather than harsh.

You have one chance to get this right.

“There are some things I love about my coworkers, and let’s be real, a lot of things I don’t-- but do you want to know the thing I like least about working in a hospital?”

Your whole body is practically vibrating with adrenaline, and you realize this is your opportunity to shove on your shoes. As you do that, you refuse to look up at him. The goal is to bring his critical thinking skills back from ‘fight or flight’ mode. Then maybe you can get the two of you on the same page again.

It takes over a minute, but he lets out a long breath and sits down beside you. “Tell me."

“They’re terrible gossips,” you say, looking right at him. He’s not allowed to make the obvious (ruinous, new-relationship-wrecking) conclusion about what you’re saying, not without having to look you in the eye while he does it. “I can’t stand that shit. That’s why they send me on the errands. I’ve got everyone trained to stop talking when I walk by, at this point.”

His relief is visible. “I can respect that.”

“Good.” You set both feet on the ground and decide to test things out by standing. If you’re wobbly, you feel certain he’ll reach out and catch you. “Tomorrow night?”

“Wait,” he says, the picture of confusion. “You’re not-- You think I’m hiding from something and you’re not going to ask about it?” Even in the dim glow of the nearby track light, you can see the clench and release of his jaw.

“For all I know, you’re hiding from your last girlfriend. I know I’d find it hard to give you up, and I’ve known you for what? Two weeks?” Your feet are screaming at you about as loudly as the critical voice in your head, but happiness has made both just distant enough to achieve your goals.

He shoves his hands into his pockets, which you take to be a good sign. “Would that still be ‘textbook?’ This is all new to me.”

All of the cheeky, sarcastic, and cheesy thoughts that cross your mind would ruin the moment, so you go off script. It’s not the best, but it’s not awful, either.

“New is terrible for work shoes, but it’s lovely when it’s you. See you tomorrow night!”

Stay tuned for more stories in the Ro Roll! Would you like more of these two? Let me know 💚

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x f!reader #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers fic #fluff #hurt/comfort #captain america x f!reader #captain america x reader #captain america #steve rogers #mcu #mcu fanfiction #marvel #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers x you #captain america x you

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wordsvomit101 · 2 days

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I would put him as a "sad old man" on my contact list if I were MC.

Sometimes I gotta be a bit petty for MC cause they don't do it for themself. Credits to @shyanimeboi and their friend on X: https://x.com/shyanimeboi/status/1795183592961655077/video/4

Warnings: Sexual content, complicated brainstorming about guilt and legacy.

Of course, you would say that- No but honestly, I would be pissed as hell if he said that to me directly, cause sir your brother lowkey put MC's parent on the news, made their friend see his ancestor temporarily, and then almost put them in the casket as well. It's a miracle that they do not blindly hate everything relating to angels at this point. (Although I'm glad that you at least find closure from it you dismal oldster ╮(─_─)╭)

It's a little heartwarming that he shows that he still loves his brothers a lot, given how he said: "traces that Gabriel is alive and well". It got me thinking about how it could very likely mean that he believes at some point in the future, either the other kings kill his brothers or Lucifer will have to choose between Hell (repentance) and his love for them when put in a corner he cannot back out, and with him being the Sin of Pride, I don't think he would either.

Also, if he is happy just by seeing the brand alone then his brothers either avoid attacking Paradise Lost personally or he didn't face them directly after he told off Michael more than 100 years ago and he did say that he "can no longer meet to ask how he is doing".

This first option seems like something Solomon would say. As his descendant, how MC presents themself in the daily chats and some of their options are probably the closest we get to see how Solomon would act when he was still around. An example would be how they question the goofy 3 rules policy in Paradise Lost that was set by the nobles, I will admit, I didn't think of that either. I was affected by the devoted behaviors of the nobles from both the event and the beginning of the prologue, in turn, I put Lucifer on an unreachable pedestal and I love that MC boldly questioned it and presented their opinions and rationale that bring Lucifer closer to the player and shows more air-headed sides to the nobles. They bring new perspectives and challenge the assumptions albeit in a small but significant way. I love it, I hope they do it more in the future.

He also finally said it, the holy words of every prideful bastard I know on media, "How dare you", it took 4 chats but we finally got here.

How he process his brothers' wrongdoings and his own? Very understandable and something, in my opinion, most victims would rather want to get from their offenders' family members, acceptance and acknowledgment of the issues and the damage that was done, and a genuine effort to do the right things. Familial love is very complicated, and it is… difficult to hate and condemn someone you come to love first naturally in your life. I think Lucifer, besides God (but also not really), first loves his brothers, probably the first angel to do so for their kind, and by reading the Seraphs’ comics it clearly shows how they either don’t care or hate each other guts yet still capable of loving Lucifer. He raised them, he's both their brother and their second parental figure, and he show them love outside of their devotion to God.

And how he addresses them in the chat, he calls each one of them a "child", he was being very quietly affectionate by focuses on their well-being when he saw the brand on MC. He also only does this with them and Gamigin, so it is clear how he sees them from a caretaker standpoint (the allegation of him being born in his 30s and raising his brothers is not so far-fetched now, honestly, he is the true dilf here, not God). He knows his brothers ruining other people's lives but when they turn around and love and treat him so dearly that it can feel like what they have done to others is an illusion.

When that illusion doesn't cloud his judgment and beliefs anymore? It will hurt and it can feel like his perception of his brothers are lie. It can be easy to deny the first time but since it happens again and again he has to accept the change and it ain't gonna feel great to realize how he is not the bystander here and directly or indirectly enable his brothers' atrocities (maybe join them in it too at some point, but this is just my thoughts). It gonna rewire how he views a lot of things and it gonna run back from the beginning to the current time, and with how long Lucifer lived? That's rough buddy.

Now, humans are insignificant in these guys' eyes and a single death is nothing to them in the vast universe, yes, but like Lucifer said, God made humans and with how he said it after that, humanity is a part of God's legacy. Legacy is fundamental to what it is to be human to many, something to be carved on their graves and will at the end of their time, it also helps people who live beyond them to remember and let their spirits or unconscious presence remain on the world. So despite humanity in the grand scheme of things, humans are still the work of God. By referring to God as "Our Father," besides asserting his connection, he also indirectly extends that connection to humans. It suggests a shared lineage and inherent value in all of God's creations.

If I interpret what Lucifer said correctly, then the duty of the Seraphim has always been to protect and care for all beings created by God, ensuring the preservation of His legacy. This duty encompasses all creations, whether great or small, beautiful or flawed. To destroy these creations and leave only themselves as His legacy would be a betrayal of their responsibility. A legacy, regardless of its nature, is not to be forcefully erased. Those who seek to erase it tarnish the very legacy they are meant to safeguard and were entrusted to honor.

So if they can't even accept all of God's legacy, no wonder why they can easily go hunt down every single child of one (1) man they are jealous of. Perhaps this is my speculation on what they did with Solomon, who seemed resigned to being forgotten by the devils in chapter 5. They sought to erase his entire bloodline, his descendants, and his legacy, ultimately aiming to make him extinct from the world (like how poachers do it toward endangered animals). For someone like Solomon, this, in my opinion, could be the most terrible fate for him. I honestly wouldn't put it past God's plan to make MC a part of this war for Solomon.

This option is more like the canon MC than the Solomon option from before. They felt more personal here in their anger.

The desensitization for guilt and emotional detachment is strong in this. Lucifer acknowledges the gravity and permanence of the sins he and his brothers have committed and accepts that he must coexist with his guilt and remorse, but how he goes around with it is mostly for himself. Lucifer mentions that he "voluntarily fell to Hell", a form of self-punishment despite his brothers' protests (but also calling Hell the starting point of sadness is wild cause honestly? Not that wrong, I can't see truly happy devils, and if there is, their development happened off-screen).

Lucifer’s remark that the MC is "not that meaningful enough yet" is his emotional detachment from others. His focus remains on his own internal experiences rather than on the perspectives or forgiveness of others. This detachment suggests that his pursuit of guilt is inward-focused, rather than being about seeking forgiveness or redemption through the eyes of others. Selfish and very prideful, very fitting for the Sin of Pride. The idea that Lucifer is almost addicted to the feeling of guilt points to a self-destructive aspect of his personality. It indicates that he may be using guilt as a way to continually punish himself or a way to keep feeling alive through suffering.

Now this leads to my next point:

Lucifer's search for guilt and remorse indicates a need for intense emotional experiences. Witnessing someone cry, especially if he has caused the tears, could provide a powerful emotional release or catharsis for him. This could momentarily alleviate his own feelings of guilt by transferring some of that emotional burden onto others.

Control. By inducing tears in others, he might be exerting a form of control that he lacks in his own life. This dynamic could satisfy a deep-seated need to reclaim some semblance of power over emotional outcomes.

Witnessing tears might serve as a mirror to his own inner turmoil. It externalizes the pain and suffering he feels internally, allowing him to confront it more tangibly. This externalization can create a twisted sense of connection or empathy, aligning with his need to constantly grapple with guilt.

Lucifer's enjoyment of seeing others cry could be intertwined with his own cycle of punishment and redemption. Inflicting emotional pain might be a way for him to project his self-loathing and need for atonement onto others. It creates a scenario where he can experience the aftermath of guilt without direct self-harm.

Causing others to cry could validate Lucifer's sense of guilt and reinforce his belief that he is deserving of punishment. This validation can be perversely satisfying, as it confirms his self-perception as someone who commits unforgivable sins.

Tears are often a sign of vulnerability. Seeing someone in a state of emotional rawness might create a sense of intimacy that Lucifer finds alluring. This intimacy could particularly appeal to someone who feels isolated by guilt and sins.

#what in hell is bad #whb #wordsvomit notes #whb lucifer #whb solomon #I'm done #I'm too tired after writing this #If it all wrong then cool

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iwritenarrativesandstuff · 2 days

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There's something in the differing emphasis that Brad and Hunter and Charles place on the phrase "good guy" that really affected me on my first watch and hit even harder on my second. I'm going to try and put it into words.

When Brad and Hunter say it, they say "we're good guys", as in, good at everything a guy "should" be good at - good at sports, popular with the ladies, on their way to a good university. But they turn out to be total shitheads. They don't care about being "good", they just care about their reputation, how they're perceived. It's status and power - they're good guys and they feel entitled to do whatever they want.

But when Charles, feeling betrayed by this reveal of their character, says he wanted them to be good guys, the emphasis is completely different. Charles wants to be a "good guy". He doesn't want to be a "bad guy".

The emphasis is on good, because that's really the crux of Charles' greatest fears, isn't it?

When Charles wants to be a good guy, he doesn't mean it the way Brad and Hunter do; that veneer of goodness that comes with popularity. He means that nothing he did was ever good enough for his dad. Doing the good thing and helping that kid his "friends" were beating up literally got him killed. Trying to stop Devlin only got him trapped in the loop, stuck until his friends freed him, only able to watch helplessly as a mother and her innocent children get slashed to death before his eyes.

And it's this helplessness that is the thing that truly sets him off at the end of episode 4.

It always struck me just how much of his breakdown there, for as much as he finally gives a voice to his own hurt at the injustice of his situation, was still about other people. Because he was secure-ish, at one point, when he was Edwin's partner and protector. He thought he did a good job at it anyways, but guess not, because something obviously happened with Edwin and he's not talking to him about it. And he likes to think he did good with solving cases, but Crystal is still hurting and haunted by a demon and nearly threw herself off a cliff earlier that day because she wants her parents so badly, and he's no closer to helping her solve that. And all of it, every single part of it, is a reflection of his own unresolved trauma; that he never "made it better" and he can't, so now he tries to be good enough for other people, but that isn't working anymore either, and now someone is threatening to take Edwin away, and even this final shocking act of anger and violence is still in service of protecting; of saving someone from the suffering he was never able to escape except by fucking dying.

His anger, really, stems from the injustice of it all, and the abuse of power by guys who can get away with it because they're guys, when they should've, could've, been good to others instead. It's a large part of why he projected so strongly onto Brad and Hunter - they did everything right, they were good guys who got screwed over, because even if everyone seems to love you, there's always that one person you can never please, right? Who will hurt you, no matter how good you are. When it's revealed that Brad and Hunter are far more like his bullies, like Devlin, like his dad, than he'd thought - controlling, intolerant, cruel to those who "step out of line" - Charles feels betrayed and horrified because he related to them... so what does that say about him?

But here's one major difference that Charles does not seem to recognize well. Charles has never had the power in these situations. He was the victim, and his being the victim is through no fault of his own, but the fault of those who decided to be cruel. It is certainly not contingent on how good he is. Being good in the eyes of people who want to hurt you will not stop them from hurting you.

When he lashes out at the Night Nurse, it's out of helplessness and rage. Once again, he's pitted against someone who holds more power than he does and is threatening harm, and he's just been bitterly, brutally reminded that a smile and a helping hand and a firm word never, ever worked to make it stop. There's only one other way he can think of to shift the balance of power, and he's finally livid enough to actually do it. This violence is a desperate attempt to finally overcome yet another force much greater than him, a transdimensional entity that has unjustly arrived to take his best friend to Hell. And Charles wins, he did it, he stopped her, at least for the moment. But at what cost, when he looks at his friends and can't tell whether they look more scared for him or of him? And can he blame them, when he's clearly scared of his own anger and how overwhelming it is now that it's been let out?

Because he tries so hard to be good and it's never good enough to stop the suffering. Because that anger rose to the surface so easily and maybe that means he's not good at all.

But of course, Charles once again misses something important here - there is a distinction in why that anger exists. His dad, Devlin, and Brad and Hunter get angry because their power over others makes them feel they have a right to punish when things don't go their way. Charles gets angry because he feels more helpless than he'd care to admit, and seeing cruelty inflicted onto others by those with power makes him want to cut them down to size.

And herein lies the second major difference. Charles... is a kind person, at heart. He's genuine. He really does likes helping out, he likes making people happy, he doesn't turn people away who need help, he's friendly and protective. The scene where Edwin pulls him out of his fear that he's somehow bad even though he really doesn't want to be, is outright one of my favourite scenes for what it brings to both of their characters. Edwin knows exactly what to say. While it's always good to check your behaviour, to apologize and take accountability - because no one can be good all the time, and even the most well-intentioned of us will mess up sometimes - Edwin is right.

"Bad guys do not worry about being bad guys."

#storyrambles #hope this made sense. ended up being a lot longer than i meant it to whew.#anyways. charles you mean so much to me :')#dead boy detectives #charles rowland #dbda meta

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asidian · 9 hours

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One thing I haven't seen talked about is Crystal's character arc, and specifically the way the timing of it interacts with Charles' arc. They stumble over each other in the worst possible way en route to their respective character growth, and from a narrative perspective, it's absolutely genius.

I'm going to preface all this by saying: none of this is a criticism of Crystal. Part of what makes her such a dynamic, refreshing character is that you don't get to see women in fiction written the way she's been written. You don't get to see women with her flaws that aren't throw-away mean girls or villains. You especially don't get to see women with her traits who learn and grow and become better people. So yeah, I'm going to talk about Crystal's character flaws. No, this isn't Crystal hate. We love our girl in this house. Okay? Okay. Let's start.

Crystal's character arc, at its heart, is all about her learning to be a better person because she has good influences that love and support her for the first time.

When the show starts, Crystal is not a nice person. She's abrasive in a way that's specifically designed to push people away. She's used to getting her own way, and it shows. She's used to having no meaningful connections with anyone, and it shows. She's breathtakingly selfish, in the very literal sense of the definition. She is focused on her self. Her problems are front and center to her; everything is about what she needs, and what she wants, and how she's struggling.

Jenny calls her out very early on. In episode one, Crystal is complaining about the boys, and Jenny, for all her cynicism, strikes right at the heart of the problem. She tells Crystal, "Everybody is always thinking about themselves, all the time." People only care about their own problems. And she says, correctly, that that's what Crystal is doing, too.

This moment is a revelation for Crystal. For the first time, she considers what her behavior looks like from another person's perspective. As she says, she gets mad at herself over it, and that awareness allows her to do something selfless for the first time in the series. She takes a step back and insists that instead of focusing on her problems, they go to help a little girl. It's a big moment for her.

But importantly, she's not done growing as a character here. She's only just getting started.

On my first watch through, I didn't realize how often, over the next few episodes, Crystal redirects things to her problems during conversation, but it's quite a lot. She's still focused on herself – selfish, in that most literal definition of the word. The issues most important to her are her issues. She's starting to learn to think about other people, but she's not there yet. The process is still underway.

Which brings us to Charles.

Charles' arc is a different sort of self-reflection. He's terrified that he's a bad person the way his father was and the way the boys that killed him were.

During the course of the show, he gets systematically stripped of his confidence and made to feel helpless, and just like Crystal needs outside influences to help her reach a more stable place, Charles does, too. He desperately needs reassurance that he isn't everything he's afraid he is.

But my goodness, the timing in their arcs is such a trainwreck when you put them together, and it is brilliant.

Let's start with the Devlin House.

Crystal has some amazing character growth here. She displays genuine concern about Charles, makes an attempt at comforting him, and learns to work with Edwin even though she still doesn't particularly like him at this point.

Charles, meanwhile, is beginning to fall apart. He's just had the worst night of his afterlife. He's been viscerally reminded of how helpless he is. He couldn't stop the Devlins from being killed over and over, just like he couldn't stop his own father's abuse. He messed up his attempted rescue so badly that he was completely out of commission until the case was finished. He managed to help not one single thing. He made no impact at all. He couldn't help those girls any more than he was able to help himself, while he was still alive.

So they get back to the butcher shop, and what do we see? Monty immediately coopts Edwin. Niko doesn't know what's happened because she wasn't there and Charles has been all fake smiles with her. And Crystal goes off with Niko, leaving Charles to flounder on his own in the wake of everything. She's still learning how to support other people. She isn't there yet, and it's extremely on display in this moment.

Then we get the lighthouse episode, and they both get put through the wringer here. Crystal gets her hopes and expectations jerked around by the Night Nurse in the very worst way, and Charles gets hit with a whole pile full of trauma. All that helplessness wells to the forefront again. Combined with being forced to relive some of his worst memories and the desperation to keep Edwin safe from hell, Charles lets himself act on his anger for once.

And what does he get in the aftermath? Horror.

Everyone who cares about him is horrified by what he's done. Edwin goes so far as to call it extreme. They don't know the half of it, of course; they haven't seen what the Night Nurse just put him through. But in this moment Charles is at his absolute lowest, and all he sees is confirmation that he's exactly as terrible as he thinks he is.

That's why Charles shrugs off Edwin's attempt at comfort, here. When he needed to be able to do something to protect Edwin and also himself – when he needed to believe that he could be better than what his father always was – all he sees is the confirmation from the people he cares about most that when push came to shove, he really is a bad guy.

Then comes the aftermath. And this moment is such a brilliant, awful clash of both of their character arcs. It is so delightfully messy.

Because Charles starts to open up to Crystal here. He starts to lay himself bare, the way he ends up doing with Edwin in episode 5. He's on the verge of admitting something that he's been worried about for literal decades. He tells her, "I've been angry for such a long time."

And what does Crystal do? She's still in the midst of her own character growth. She's still struggling to support other people. She's still learning how to. In a lot of ways, though she's made progress already, she's still that selfish girl that Jenny called out in the very first episode.

And she shows it here it with the absolute worst possible timing. No sooner has Charles started to talk about what's bothering him than she cuts in with her own problems. She's tired of riddles and spirits and demons and not knowing who she is. And the look on Charles' face. The moment when he visibly sets aside his own problems, because Crystal doesn't need any more disasters on her plate? It's heartbreaking. You can actually track the subtle change in his expression there. The actor does a phenomenal job.

And then comes the kiss. And what spurs it? Crystal saying she needs something real.

This moment isn't about light-hearted attraction, the way the earlier flirting is. It's Charles setting aside what he needs – comfort and reassurance and a moment to talk through the things that have been tearing him apart – to give her what she says she wants. He can't even feel it. And Crystal isn't far enough along in her character growth here to realize how selfish she's being. Like Jenny said way back in episode one, she's only thinking about herself.

And then comes the absolute unmitigated disaster of episode 5.

Straight out the gate, Charles leans in for a kiss. From his perspective, they have something together; there's affection there. Charles "I think I'd miss kissing" Rowland, who has been starved for meaningful physical contact for thirty years, is not in a hurry to give this up.

But Crystal is fresh out of a nightmare where she conflates Charles with her abusive ex. She withdraws; she calls what they had a distraction. She cuts it off almost as soon as it's started, so focused on her own worries here that she misses how damn fake Charles' smile is, to cover up that he's coming to pieces.

To be clear, she's absolutely not in the wrong here. It is 1000% her prerogative not to jump into a relationship again while she's still struggling to work through what happened with David. But the arc of her narrative is still early enough that she does it all without so much as the awareness that her focus on her own issues has hurt Charles terribly.

And then the episode really kicks off, and both of them are in shambles in very different ways.

Crystal is projecting her issues with David onto Charles. She has a lot of history, and David seems as though he's exactly the right sort of toxic to leave lasting a lasting impact. But Charles hasn't done anything to deserve her assumptions, and he takes the brunt of her temper here and throughout the episode.

Charles is desperately projecting onto the dead jocks. He very badly wants them to be good guys, because he sees himself in them and he needs himself to be a good guy. He snipes back at Crystal for the very first time in this episode, and he does it in the worst way possible, accidentally prodding her where it will do the most damage.

They're both hurting. They both say some truly painful things to one another.

She does not need to hear that she has unsorted hangups about David still plaguing her while she's unable to move past them. He desperately does not need anyone to tell him that he has rage issues while he's still struggling to think of himself as a decent person.

They apologize, in the end. They start to move past it.

But it's telling that Charles doesn't try to open up to Crystal again. He goes to Edwin instead, even though Edwin is the one who called his actions regarding the Night Nurse extreme. He gets the reassurance he needs so badly; he gets the connection he was looking for with Crystal from Edwin, instead. (I have a lot of thoughts on why Charles initially tries to open up to Crystal so quickly, but it is very much an aside, and this is already extremely long, so it will have to wait for another write-up.)

But the important thing here is, Edwin is the one to offer Charles what he needs to overcome the self-doubt eating him alive. Edwin provides the physical affection Charles was seeking in the form of that long-overdue hug. Edwin is the one who's able to reaffirm for him that he's not just a good guy, he's the best person Edwin knows.

And for all intents and purposes, Charles' major character arc ends here.

Charles has a few last little moments to go on the path to rebuilding his own self-image, after this, but for the most part his concerns have been resolved. He saves Crystal in episode 6 and Edwin in episode 7, proving to himself that he's able to make a difference in the face of overwhelming odds. He's not helpless, no matter what the Night Nurse told him; he can be a force for good in the world. By the end of the series, his crisis of self-doubt seems to have been largely overcome.

But it's the conversation with Edwin at the end of episode 5 that really allows him to work through his most pressing issues. Edwin is there to help support him when he stumbles. Edwin provides him the comfort he was looking for while Crystal was too worried about her own problems to notice how badly he needed the help.

Crystal, meanwhile, still has a ways to go after episode 5. The last three episodes are where she does her most important character growth.

In episode 6, she learns some hard lessons about keeping secrets and letting people help and appreciate you even when you can't offer them anything in return. And Charles, importantly, is there for her every step of the way. He consistently offers her physical and emotional support. He models for her, in a very real way, what it looks like to have someone prop you up when you need the help.

And in turn, Crystal steps in to save the boys. She's the big damn hero at the end of this episode.

The breakthrough continues into episode 7. She's so intent on helping to get Edwin out of hell that she literally goes to face her own demons, not for herself for once – not for her own purposes or needs or wants – but because she wants to help someone else.

And episode 8, at long last, brings her to the culmination of her character arc.

Crystal is at her absolute lowest here. Her family, the people who were supposed to love her unconditionally, didn't even realize she was gone. Her precious memories, that she's spent the entire series trying to regain, have showed her that she's not the person she hoped she would be. She's overwhelmed enough that she means to flee, to cut herself off from her new friends entirely.

Then the boys get kidnapped. And just like that, she makes up her mind.

For the first time since the start of the series, she sets aside her most important issues in order to let what other people need take precedence. She disregards all of her own personal concerns and focuses instead on others. She's finally stepped out of those selfish impulses that Jenny calls her out on, all the way back in the first episode. She's finally learned how to support other people when they need it.

Crystal has finally figured out how to be there for others, despite having troubles of her own.

It's a lovely arc, and it's beautifully done.

Charles' is just as touching.

And god damn, but it was a brilliant narrative choice to have their character arcs line up in exactly the wrong way.

#dead boy detectives #dbda #dbda spoilers #charles rowland #crystal palace #edwin payne #meta commentary

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testrella · 4 hours

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CRAZY RICH ASIANS..! G. SATORU X READER

𝜗𝜚 | CHAPTER THREE : just..friends!

NEXT… CHAPTER FOUR : tutoring.

gojo was reclined on his couch, legs sprawled out everywhere. the comfort of his own home at 17 was a luxury not anybody could afford. yet, it was gifted to him by his grandma on his 16th birthday. a 32 acre estate mansion designed by switzerland’s best architect. a blend of traditional japanese and a mix of modern luxury. despite the mansion being large enough to home a village, it was only filled with servants, gojo and silence.

which is why his father thought it was a great idea to have him take on a responsibility, a quite immense responsibility.

“who the hell are you?”

gojo glances up from his phone and looks for what voice peeped from the entrance of the lounge room. the large dark oak doors were fully opened yet from his peripheral vision, there was no one there. that was until he looked down at a young boy.

his jet black hair, fair skin and green eyes stood out from any other kid has ever laid his eyes on. a shiver runs down gojo’s spine and goosebumps slowly form on his forearms as he continues to stare at the young boy.

“satoru,” his father’s voice echoed from the hallway, slowly becoming more apparent as he got closer. “this is megumi fushiguro, he will be staying with you from now on.”

the young white haired male’s jaw drops to the very floor as he repeated the last name out loud, “..fushiguro?” he glances at the boy then back at his father before raising an eyebrow, “and why is that?” there was no curiosity in his tone, just genuine concern.

his father opens his mouth to respond before shutting it as megumi turns around to face him, seeming to have the exact same question. why is he staying with 17 year old gojo satoru?

“his father has..business to take care of. it required him to leave for a certain period of time so i’ve agreed to take him in.”

the explanation was typical; vague and left no room for any further questions. gojo knew better than to further poke the sleeping bear and just nod in agreement. but even though he answered gojo’s question, his eyes told a different answer. there was no doubt the boy’s father got into some trouble and was taken out for good.

gojo shrugged the lingering thoughts away before making his way to megumi. he knelt down to megumi’s height, to come off as less intimidating, and patted his head. “megumi, right? i’m satoru, looks like we’re gonna be roommates for a while.”

“i am not sharing a room with you.” megumi spat out while clutching onto a small dog plushie. even if he tried to come off as fearless, gojo couldn’t help but notice the way he was violently shaking.

he chuckles at megumi before pulling him into a tight and unwarranted hug. “sure man, whatever you say goes.”

the busy streets of tokyo were alive every night, capturing the life of the city and its residents. honking horns, distant chatter, and the same rhythmic footsteps of busy people wanting to get from point A to point B. gojo suggested the two shopping the day after the party, which clearly irritated megumi.

“do we really have to go shopping during rush hour?” megumi grumbled and shoving his hands into his pockets. “i have better things to do.”

satoru only chuckled at the angsty teen’s behavior. he watched megumi grow from a know it all toddler to a slumped moody teenager. “oh come on megumi! i’ve been meaning to buy you something nice. besides, it’s not like you actually have friends to hang out with.”

megumi shoots him a glare, “i do have friends, and i could have plans that only involved myself.”

“like what? brooding in your room all day?” gojo teased, ruffling megumi’s hair before he slapped his hand away.

as they entered a high end luxury store, gojo’s attention was immediately caught by a limited edition pair of sneakers. he nudged megumi towards the display before picking it up and carefully inspecting it. “what do you think megumi? these would look great on you!”

megumi barely glances at the shoe before mumbling a response, “they’re fine i guess. can we get them and go home now?” irritation was written all over the poor boy’s face.

gojo was able to immediately pick up the teen’s attitude towards him. he rolled his eyes at the moody behavior, “you’re in a mood today. something bothering you?”

“i don’t know… maybe it's the fact you're texting my teacher and asking her out for dinner again!” he whispered-yelled in the middle of the store.

gojo clicks his tongue. “ah, so that’s what this is about huh?” he said with a stupid smile plastered on his face, “well i happen to think miss. l/n is a lovely person to be around. she’s humble, intelligent and she seems to talk to me like a normal person. she’d be a wonderful friend!”

megumi scoffs and crosses his arms across his chest, “you’re not fooling anyone, you know there’s more to it!”

gojo leaned slightly towards megumi with a slight mischievous look in his eyes, “it’s refreshing to talk to someone who isn’t obsessed with the whole gojo clan nonsense. she’s not stiff and never talks about business.” he leans further into megumi’s personal space, “but you seem to be real caught up on this. are you jealous..?!”

megumi’s face flushed in a mix of embarrassment and annoyance. “i am not jealous! i just don’t think it’s appropriate for you to make plans with my teacher. it’s weird..” he mumbled the last sentence.

gojo raises his hand to scratch his chin and pretends he’s in deep thought. “hm, well if it makes you that uncomfortable then i suppose i have no choice but to cut contact.”

“r-really?! you’ve decided that quick?”

“of course,” gojo said, ruffling his hair once again. “you’re more important to me than making a new friend.”

a small pang of guilt hit megumi’s chest, and his expression softened. “i mean, you don’t have to stop being her friend. just..stop trying to invite her to private dinners.”

“deal!” gojo says with a wide grin, “now, let’s go find some shoes you’ll actually like.” despite megumi’s outburst, he knew he cared for him in his own way. no matter how many times gojo has been a victim of megumi’s prickly demeanor, he would still let him have his way.

the duo exits out the store, with gojo swinging multiple bags over his back, into the bustling streets. the both continued to have a quiet conversation about tonight’s dinner options. just as they turned the corner, a small figure collided with him, again.

“ah, miss. l/n!” gojo exclaimed, caught completely off guard. standing before them was today’s topic of discussion dressed casually with a few bags in her hand.

“megumi, mr.gojo! what a lovely surprise to see you two here.” you smiled.

gojo cleared his throat, trying to regain any composure he had left “y-yes, quite a surprise indeed! we were, uh, out shopping for new shoes for megumi.” he tried to reach over to pat megumi’s shoulder, with his eyes on remaining on you, and ends up patting his face.

you glance at the multiple bags being held by gojo, “seems like you guys found something nice.”

“yeah thanks to this idiot.” megumi muttered before swaying gojo’s hand out his face, “he insisted i get new shoes.”

“well, it was nice seeing you both.” you replied. “i’m actually on my way to a movie. i’ve been meaning to watch the new action movie that recently came out.”

gojo’s eyes light up at the mention of the film, “oh really?! we were just about to grab something to eat but a movie sounds even better! right megumi?” he glances back at the teenager who seemed to be absolutely mortified by the sudden turn of events.

“uh, sure but we really shouldn’t intrude-”

“don't be ridiculous!” gojo chuckled before turning to you, “we’d love to join you if that’s okay with you miss. l/n. tickets and snacks on me!”

you laughed softly at the man’s eagerness, “i don’t mind at all, some company would be nice.”

megumi gave gojo a “what are you doing?!” look but he was too infatuated with you to even notice.

as they made their way to the theaters, gojo makes an attempt to make conversation to fill in the comfortable silence. but his nerves seem to hate him.

“s-so, miss. l/n.” gojo’s voice cracked and he cleared his throat before attempting again. “i hear that the, uh, curriculum changed throughout the year. i-is it difficult for you? but i mean i wouldn't be surprised if not since someone like you is capable of handling it well..”

you smiled kindly despite being confused at his sudden awkwardness, “it’s just an adjustment. i’m fine as long as the students are.”

megumi sighed before yanking gojo aside and whispering, “ please stop, you’re embarrassing yourself. can we just-”

“relax megumi, i’m just trying to make conversation.” gojo said while nervously chuckling.

when they reached the ticket counter, gojo confidently stepped in front of both of them. “three adult tickets please, i’ll be paying.”

the young cashier smiled, “sure thing. i’ll be sure to add on tonight's family discount.” she prints out the tickets and hands them over to gojo. “enjoy the movie and your family night out!”

both megumi and gojo froze, processing her words while you chuckled at the misunderstanding.

“we’re not-” megumi started but was quickly cut off.

“thank you and we will!” gojo said before snatching megumi by his collar.

as they entered the theater, megumi gave gojo a stern look before muttering “did you seriously go along with that?!”

gojo only laughed at megumi’s response to the situation. “why not? it’s kind of nice to be seen as a family, don’t you think?” he turned to you, waiting for your approval.

your eyes softened towards megumi, “the two of you certainly give off the dynamic of a family. it’s cute to see.”

the theater’s lights start to dim and the chatter that was once there starts being hushed. gojo, being sat in between megumi and you, couldn’t help but keep up his playful demeanor. whenever a dramatized scene came on, he would whisper in your ear witty but funny remarks on it. all megumi heard were giggles coming from his teacher, and being caused by his mentor.

it was annoying enough to see gojo play his classic playboy persona in front of his teacher. that was what he thought until he further inspected him. despite the horrible lighting, he noticed the subtle signs of nervousness.like the way gojo would lightly tap his fingers on the shared armrest, how he would stumble over his words, or the way he constantly looked over at you as if he seeked approval.

no matter how much of a distraction the both of you were, he couldn’t help but find amusement in watching the two of you. it was a rare sight to see gojo, the overly confident playboy, be genuinely flustered. for once, he decided to let gojo’s antics slide.

once the credits rolled, megumi leaned into gojo’s ear. “you owe me for this.”

and before gojo could question what he meant by that, he sees him turn his attention onto you. “miss. l/n, i’m actually having trouble adjusting to the curriculum you mentioned earlier. would it be okay if you could tutor me at gojo’s house? he’ll pay you!”

and being the dedicated teacher you are, you respond with genuine concern in your tone. “of course! why didn’t you say anything sooner?!”

tag list: @poeticlovefanpage @mistyheart @sureconfused @chilichopsticks @lightshowerrr @faeryminnyx @0001010dog @myabae @therealestpussyeater @kolpvii @sleepykittycx @tojisworm-5 @universallystrangeravenue @catobsessedlady @nico707 @invisible-mori @peqch-pie @dilflover-3 @foliea @honoredalone @goldenglow149 @portgas459ace @sealsu @misorastars @silkija @r0ckst4rjk @ritsatoru @starlostwish @yihona-san06 @mx-mekla @iaminyourfloors @gabi-moureira @thesharkcollector @misorastars @hyori2 @selysixn @miffysoo @lordbugs @mimidonottouch @moonlightazriel @bubybubsters @manyno @rixyaaaa

if you’d like to be added, please do the inbox thing! it’ll make it easier on my part. this is the updated tag list (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)

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avonne-writes · 2 days

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Happiness, you’re a cat

A HS AU one-shot inspired by @alienoresimagines 's post

I'll probably post this on AO3 tomorrow. Edit: posted on AO3

Bucky hates hospitals. The sterile smell, all the sick and dying people, back-breaking waiting room chairs. Thankfully, he has never had to stay in one overnight, but he did hit his head in a goal post once when he was ten, and his mom spent hours in the ER with him to get his concussion looked at. It was just after his dad left. What a miserable fucking time.

Unsurprisingly, he isn't keen to go back there anytime soon.

He feels like he might have to though, because at the rate things are going, they’re gonna have to amputate his right arm. A few months ago, Brady showed him a gory Reddit thread about a guy who, apparently, fell asleep in the lotus pose and his legs got so fucking wrecked that they had to cut them off. The pose restricted his blood flow or something and they couldn't restore it. He can’t remember how long the man was contorted like that. What's the point of no return?

His elementary school teacher used to tell his mom that Bucky would do crazy things for the people he liked. Well, she must have been right because Bucky's going to risk his arm just to let Gale sleep for an hour longer.

Gale. Gale, Gale, Gale.

Bucky's heart skips a beat every time he lets himself stop for a moment and think about things. Happiness floods his chest and makes his limbs thrum with excited energy. Three of them. His right arm is currently fighting for its life, crushed under Gale’s curled up body. But he puts the pins and needles out of his mind and concentrates on the positives.

Gale has been his boyfriend for a whole month now. A month! Bucky's longest relationship so far lasted three. He doesn’t let himself think about the fact that this means that they may be past one third of their time together. He can’t think about that or he’ll get anxious. Who knows, perhaps they'll stay together forever. It was their one-month anniversary today - Gale said it was stupid to call it anniversary because the word literally comes from "year" in Latin, but he did accept Bucky's invitation to watch a movie with him in Bucky's room.

Since Gale is a total movie nerd, Bucky was looking forward to showing him Moneyball, but Gale pillowed his head on Bucky’s chest and fell asleep ten minutes in. The movie is at two thirds now, and Bucky's arm is on fire from being pinned so long.

He doesn’t care.

He turns his head to look at Gale the best he can, and he knows that all the pain is worth it a thousand times over. So close that his eyes can’t focus, he sees the slope of Gale's nose, his long, pale eyelashes and the soft, parted lips he spent an hour kissing yesterday. Bucky has never had anyone sleep on him before. It’s the most amazing, comforting feeling he has ever experienced. They breathe together. Gale's body is warm against his, and his arm draped across Bucky's torso fills Bucky's stomach with butterflies. God, he wants to reach out and stroke it. There are small moles sprinkled on it. There’s one on the heel of Gale's palm, and he’s aching to pull it to his mouth and kiss it.

Ah, why is he such a loser? Gale is right here in his arms, in his bed, and he’s still in pain because he wants more and he knows it's too much and his crush is so bad, so... ugh, it's fucking embarrassing. Bucky flushes hot and cold, then hot again. Happy in his misery.

He'd feel it if his arm was beyond saving, wouldn’t he? Or, technically, he wouldn’t feel it. That would be the sign, he thinks. Prickling pain is good.

Gale told him he had trouble sleeping lately. What's a better anniversary present than letting him rest as long as he needs it?

It's a bigger problem that Bucky can’t pay attention to the movie anymore. His senses are entirely consumed by Gale. The weight of him. His blond hair. His smell. Bucky takes a deeper breath, trying to memorize it. If it clings to his clothes, he’s gonna hide them from his mom and sleep with them tonight. Gale is like an angel in his sleep, and he just wants to - to squeeze him tight and never let him go. Man, he needs help...

Unable to resist any longer, he raises his - still alive - left hand and brushes Gale's right with a fingertip. When Gale’s breathing doesn’t change, Bucky smiles to himself and starts tracing the lines of Gale's bones with his index finger, then the divots of his wrist. He draws a J over the back of Gale's hand, then a heart. He’s just about to start a G when the skin shifts under his touch, and Gale’s inhale hitches.

The moment Gale's consciousness returns, he shoots up into a sitting position, lifting all the weight that has been crushing Bucky's arm at once. Bucky whines and sobs dramatically in pain, so much so, that after a moment, Gale starts snickering.

"What are you doing?"

"Pins and needles." Bucky gasps and sits up too, shaking his arm desperately.

Gale rubs his forehead like some middle-aged dad looking at his dumbass kid. Bucky grins in return. He doesn’t know why but he enjoys this. The sight of his smile makes Gale laugh again. His chin-length hair is flat on the side that rested on Bucky’s chest, and there's a blush creeping up his neck.

"Sorry for falling asleep." He says. Bucky can’t look away from the blue of his eyes. He’s hypnotized.

"You can always sleep here."

Gale casts his gaze down, then glances back up, a little shy. "Thanks, Bucky."

"I would've let them amputate it for you." Bucky tells him, holding out his arm.

Gale gives him a look of pained amusement. "Do I even want to know what you're talking about?"

"Brady showed me this thread -" Bucky launches into the story, happy to be able to talk to Gale again after more than an hour of silence. Gale listens to him attentively, and when he slips his hand into Bucky's, Bucky's suddenly aware that none of the nerves died in his palm. They're very much alive and pump giddiness into his veins. Moneyball draws to a climax in the background, forgotten.

~~~

It's 4 p.m., and the bright-hot light of the sun blasts Bucky's face through the window of their apartment. He’s lying on his back in their bed, and Gale is asleep in his embrace, his head resting on Bucky’s shoulder. Bucky's arm tingles with pinprickles of pain. Volume so low it's almost muted, a movie drones on in their TV.

It's Moneyball again.

The irony isn’t lost on Bucky. Every single time he tried to watch this thing with Gale in the six years they’ve been together, Gale fell asleep. Every. Single. Time. He’s starting to think it’s some sort of message he's supposed to understand. John, stop making me watch baseball films and footage. Or, John, I have a Pavlovian reflex to nod off as soon as I hear the word baseball. He can hear these things in Gale's voice, although Gale would never say them, only Bucky would if he did an impression of Gale. It would make Gale laugh, so Bucky grins up at the ceiling just imagining it.

Fuck, his arm hurts like a bitch. And the sun feels like fingers made of light trying to pry his eyes open. His t-shirt is growing damp with sweat at the collar. Over his head, with some effort, he manages to grab Gale's actual pillow, the one Gale discarded in favour of Bucky's chest. Bucky puts it on his own face to block out the light and tries to fall asleep too.

This exam period has been a real clusterfuck. He was on coffee 24/7, would have walked around with an IV drip of the stuff if he could, just to push through. Gale simply reverted to his antisocial insomniac persona, and they decided by mutual silent agreement not to even try to touch each other until it was over.

It's done and dealt with now. Grades added in their college accounts, pat on the head received gracefully by Gale for being the only one who passed Applied Nuclear Physics on the first try. Obligatory Let's get wasted! party attended two days ago, call with Mom suffered through hungover yesterday. Now, there's nothing else on Bucky’s agenda but sleep for 48 hours straight. And making Gale watch Moneyball.

He's gonna make him do it before they get married, he swears.

Gale is so tired that he’s sleeping with his mouth open. Bucky can tell. It doesn’t take a genius, given the suspicious damp spot he feels on his shirt. He doesn’t mind a bit of drool. Or a lot. He’s gonna let Gale sleep as long as he needs.

But by God, his arm feels like it’s gonna skip the whole amputation step and just fall right off. He yawns against the pillow on his face and tries to take his mind off it.

He can smell Gale's scent on the fabric, he notes happily. Gale's left leg is tangled with his own, Gale's once icy foot tucked against his calf, now warmed by Bucky's heat. You have the coldest feet in the whole fucking galaxy, he informed Gale a few weeks ago, sitting on the couch with Gale's legs on his lap. Gale just pressed one of those feet to the tender skin of Bucky’s inner thigh, half inside his shorts, and told Bucky to guess the size of the Milky Way or lose a piece of clothing.

There's a reason why Bucky isn't the one planning to be an Astrophysicist...

He wonders what it’s going to be like once they graduate. His heart skips a beat. Does Gale hope for the same things he does? They've talked about marriage in the abstract, playing around with the fantasy of it for a bit, but it's not a fantasy anymore. It’s within reach, Bucky can feel it. And that suddenly makes his hopes so much harder to share - he’s scared of losing them all on a mistake.

But now that their exams are done, it can occupy all his thoughts again.

It's time. Anticipation thrums through his bones. He has been aching for it long enough. He’s got the ring. All he needs to do is ask.

Drifting between daydreams and reality, he reaches for Gale’s hand on his abdomen. He traces his knuckles with his thumb and lingers on his bare ring finger, lost in thought.

When Gale pulls in a sharper breath, he shifts his touch to Gale's wrist.

Gale groans and lifts his head away from the wet spot on Bucky’s shirt. Blood flows rapidly back to Bucky's arm and makes him grunt in pain. He tries to shake the pins and needles out of his limb, while Gale just climbs over him like some lazy cat and collapses on his other side. He takes up the same pose he had before, just mirrored, but upon noticing the pillow on Bucky’s head, he nuzzles his way closer until both of their faces are covered by it. They're pressed so close together that the tip of Bucky's nose brushes Gale's cheek.

"We've blinds." He mumbles.

Gale hums and falls back asleep. Bucky’s arm lies squished under him. Moneyball stays on until the end credits roll down.

#mota #buck x bucky #clegan #john egan #gale cleven #my writing #hs au

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darlingshane · 3 days

Text

Secret Ingredient / Part II

Michael Berzatto x F!Reader

Summary: Things are looking up for Michael. He has great hopes of making this work, and all he wants is to spend the rest of his life with you and Rhys. While you're still apprehensive about certain aspects of your relationship, there's nothing you'd love more than to figure it all out with him.

CW: 18+, explicit, smut, vaginal sex, shower sex, fluff, friends to lovers, complicated relationships, some angst.

Word Count: 2.4k

— Links: First Part // AO3.

A/N: Richie makes a guest appearance to question all of Michael's choices.

Six months later…

There’s nothing that hypes Michael more right now than going home after closing The Beef. Getting to hang out with you and squeeze some time with your baby when he’s awake has become the highlight of his day that he looks forward to every single night.

He still brings you food, or cooks you something when he gets home. Even if you don’t live together yet, the spark is there and has grown far brighter than he could ever imagine since you started dating, and he has no doubt it’ll happen at some point

His life was drastically changed that moment he stumbled onto you in the hallway when you moved into his building with Rhys in tow.

He didn’t know that day that you were exactly what he needed. It took him away from that familiar path that it was leading him to dangerous places and guided him toward a nice clearing instead.

Though he still struggles with a lot of shit about the business, he’s gained some leeway, and has learned there’s a better way of handling those issues. He’s also come to accept that if he wants to be in your life, he needs to follow through with his decisions. In both– business and life. Even if that means asking for help, which it doesn’t come naturally for him.

You are the biggest inspiration and supporter he has right now. He’s taken suggestions directly from you to improve the shop, like giving customers pre-order options, and offering delivery. It’s a work in progress, but he has hope it’ll work out.

Besides all that, watching you raise Rhys on your own in the past six months gave him the most courage to take that leap forward. Even if it was fucking scary. Even if there are still a few old demons he has to fight every night before closing his eyes.

It all has put him in a better mood too. People have noticed. He’s also gotten rid of a few bad habits and taken up jogging in the morning, before the city wakes up. Sometimes he takes Rhys with him. Usually in his stroller but sometimes the baby would refuse to let go of his arms and would have to use a carrier and trade his jog for a walk. He’s shown him all his favorite places around the city, the same places he’s taken you to as well. They sit at the dog park and look at the dogs play cause Rhys is completely taken away with them. It’s the first thing he’s shown a real interest in, besides mom of course. The baby would spread his arms and try calling to them with his cute unintelligible babble.

He had never seen himself as a dad until now. It was never on his plans. Figure his family was fucked enough that there was no need to bring more Berzattos into the world. But getting to know Rhys, care for him, watching grown and love him as much as he loves you has made him consider that maybe there’s still hope yet. He just has to make sure of not repeating all those same mistakes that haunt his past.

While everyone cleans up their station, Michael sits at his desk and goes over today's numbers before going home. For a change, they're not as bad as a year ago, which is something to take into account. Perhaps in a couple of months he’d be able to hire a couple of new guys to run deliveries. He keeps that pinned for when the right time comes.

Once he's done in the office, he wishes everyone goodnight as they part home.

When the lights are off and doors locked, he heads out last with Richie by his side, who needs a ride home.

Cousin lights up a cigarette before getting into the car while Michael unlocks the doors and slides into the driver's seat. On the passenger side, on the floor mat, rests a bag of groceries and a pack of diapers he left there earlier that he now moves to the backseat to make room for Richie.

“Mama's got you running errands like an asshole again,” Richie taunts, settling on his seat as Michael starts the engine.

“She ain't. I offered.” He scoffs. “What is it to you? Why are you so concerned about what I do?”

“I’m just looking out for you, Cousin.”

“How? How are you looking out for me? All you’ve done is question and ridicule everything I do since I told you about her.”

“Because she’s using you. She has no baby daddy, and she’s just latched onto the first schmuck she met cause raising a baby is expensive.”

Michael shakes that frustration with a sharp tilt of his head as he veers the car out of the lot.

It’s not the first time he’s said something like that, but it’s starting to rub him the wrong way to see Richie thinking he knows better than him.

“What? You think she’s after my money now?” he can’t help but scoff. “She probably has more saved than you and me put together. Why are you being a fucking dick about it?”

“I don’t know… I just can’t wrap my head around you settling down and raising someone else’s baby. Now look at you, you don’t smoke, you don't drink, you don’t wanna hang out… it’s like you’re a totally different person.”

“Well, maybe that’s not a bad thing. It's called growing up. You should look it up, Cousin.”

“If she’s so important to you why haven’t you introduced her to the rest of the family, huh? Are you embarrassed of us or something? The only times you’ve brought her to the shop is when I wasn’t there. She’s met Tina, and Ebra and Gary… are the rest of us not worthy of her presence?”

“It’s not like that. We’re still trying to figure out how to do this. You’ll meet her when the time is right. And this is the last time we're having this conversation. I’m tired of you busting my balls every chance you get. I know what I’m doing.”

He ends that conversation hoping that his friend won’t bring that up again. As much as Richie has tried to convince him otherwise, there’s no doubt in Michael's heart that this is what he wants– just to be a part of your life.

After placing the bags on the counter, he goes around the apartment to find Rhys already sleeping in his crib. He has to fight the urge to pick him up and cuddle him, but he’d probably get to that in a couple of hours when he stirs awake in the middle of the night. So he just dips his head to print a gentle kiss on his forehead.

You’re taking a shower and when he sees the silhouette of your bare body behind the frosted glass he can't fight the need of having you in his hands.

He announces himself with a knock and watches your head poke out from the side of the sliding glass as he starts taking off his clothes.

“Hey, bear,” your face beams, beautifully covered on water beads.

“Hey, mind if I join you?”

“I’m almost done but come in if you want.”

He rushes out of his jeans and underwear, leaving his pile of clothes to pool by the sink to set his feet in the shower. From behind, he slides his palms along your sides to hug your torso as he prints a string of kisses along your neck and shoulders while you finish rinsing your body.

“How was your day, mama bear?”

“Good, they green-lit my project. We're starting next week.”

“That's my girl. You're gonna do great. We should do something to celebrate.”

“Aww, thank you.” Glancing over your shoulder, you tuck your arm back to caress his nape. “How's yours?”

“Same old, same old.”

“You always said that.”

“No. It was okay. It's just not as good as I'm with you.”

“Hm,” your lips curve up as they capture a soft kiss from his silver tongue.

“Say, you think we have time for a celebration quickie before the little bear wakes up?”

“He went down five minutes ago so we probably have like ten minutes tops.”

“That's more than enough for me,” his wandering hand travels down your abdomen toward your mound. “Do you wanna?”

Licking your lips, you nod your head as you wave your ass back against his dick that quickly jumps awake at the friction. It doesn't take you long to feel him swell to perfection. Same in your end. It took you a few months to get comfortable having sex with him but once you started you couldn't ever have enough of him. Feeling utterly wanted by Michael arouses you more than his fingers rounding your clit that makes your walls melt.

Once you're ready, you brace your hands on the tiled wall, bending slightly so he can properly slip into you from behind. The warm shower spray pours nicely on your back as Michael slips inside you. His hardness throbs against your walks when he’s fully sheathed inside. As he leans forwards to mouth at your neck, he blocks the spray of water. Your skin buzzes when his teeth scrape the surface of your skin as his hips start gaining some speed.

Your breath hitches, as he pounds your ass with dedicated passion. You move with him as the temperature rises, letting one of his hands tenderly massage your breasts as the other handles your clit as rough as his hips slam against you.

“You like it like that, sweetheart?” He sucks your earlobe between his lips.

“Fuck yeah.”

It’s quick, and hot, and utterly satisfying to end the day with him pushing inside you until you both come undone.

Allowing Michael to weave into your life so seamlessly fast wasn’t a decision you took lightly. Having a new little person to care for and at the same time figure out your feelings for Michael was quite challenging, to say the least. Scary comes to mind too if you really think about it. It took you a few months to warm up to the idea, but ultimately it was Michael’s unwavering attitude that put you more at ease. He was there from the get-go. He’s helped you in ways no one ever did. You never had to ask, he’d always show up, day after day. Seeing him caring for Rhys just as much really warmed you up to the idea that there might be some good guys yet. And though you’re aware he’s not perfect, he has one of the biggest hearts you’ve ever come across. He makes you feel loved and supported, always finds new ways to make you laugh but more importantly he’s won his place in your baby’s heart as well. Rhys adores him as much as you do. Sometimes it feels like even more. His little face lights up brightly when he sees Michael more than anyone. So, in a way it was watching them bond the thing that made you welcome him deeper into your life.

There are still a few things you have some reservations about, like moving in together. Though he’s been spending more and more time at your place in the past few weeks, and has been proven to be a good partner, making it official still makes you a little wary.

It doesn’t stop him from trying… Every other week, he’d suggest that maybe it is time to take the next step. It scares you how willing he is to do that, and it worries you that he might have not mulled it over enough. There are a lot of things that could potentially go wrong, and if it was just you, you’d jump right in, eyes closed. The key here is Rhys. Your son already has a deadbeat dad who went as far as signing away his parental rights. You don’t ever wanna give anyone the chance to break your baby’s heart like that ever again. No matter how much Michael loves the both of you, you need to be sure that if anything happens between you two, this is not going to affect Rhys.

Perhaps it’s the fact that you're in a good mood today or the way he’s holding the baby in his chest with both making eyes at you that you can’t resist but give in a little after dinner.

“What was that Rye Bread?” He says after the baby makes an undistinguishable noise behind his pacifier. “Oh, he says he’s taken a vote and that I should move in.”

“He didn’t say that,” you scoff, shaking your head. “He probably said– it’s time for a diaper change, and it should be you the one to deal with it for being so damn annoying.”

“Those are a lot of words for a none-talking baby.” You both laugh. “C’mon, I know you want to, sweetheart.” He changes voices to a funny pitch tone pretending it is Rhys talking then. “Yeah, mommy. Let Mikey move in. I need a buddy to play games and watch TV. Please?”

You can swear you’ve never met anyone crazier than Michael. Anyone in their right mind would take heed of a situation like this or just downright bolt in the other direction.

“Look, I have a lot of faults, but I promise if for some reason this doesn’t work, I’d never stop caring about this little guy here. I know that’s something that you’re really worried about.”

“Would you be willing to put that in writing? Officially?”

“Anytime. Where do I have to sign?”

“You’re crazy,” you shake your head, amused.

“Pretty crazy about you.” he smiles with his whole face. “This is the last time I’ll ask. What do you say? Do you want me to move in?”

“Okay.”

It feels easy to say and hard to admit that deep down–

This is what you always wanted.

#michael berzatto #michael berzatto x reader #the bear #the bear fanfiction #mikey berzatto #mikey berzatto x reader #jon bernthal #jon bernthal fanfiction #fluff #smut #darlingwrites

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