#and yes that is Sunny's crayon drawing
Note
Hey there sun and moon! :0 how are you two doing? Heard about the pizzaplex... are you two holding up okay, And- do you like the new version of the Daycare?
I send hugs and support! ^^
#and yes that is Sunny's crayon drawing#he may have to scrap it after this because he's not supposed to be talking about the rumors#ask sun and moon#sun and moon#sundrop#sunnydrop#moondrop#askblog#fnaf ask blog#fnaf sun#fnaf moon#askbox
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Silly Time
SO UH i finished it (: teehee
be kind as always as i was just having fun with it!! thank you for the love on the snippet of this... i hope you guys enjoy this silly thing!! Happy new year from me!!
[1,178 words]
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It was another sunny day in the Daycare. Kids were playing and screaming in delight as they ran around.
Sun was sitting with some quieter kids at the small table, where they all drew on some colored paper with crayons. He, too, was drawing along with them. It looked rather comical as he sat there, his legs bent like a frog would sit, and in his hand a tiny crayon as he doodled on the blue piece of paper he had gotten. Sun was enjoying his day until a tiny voice spoke up at the table.
"Uhm... Mister Sun?"
Sun looked up from his drawing, his faceplate doing a silly little spin and his grin soft.
"Yes, little star Kris?"
The little girl looked down at the crayon in her tiny hand before speaking again. "I was... Wondering if you knew why Mister Moon calls the nice security guard, who comes here sometimes, for Love."
Sun trained his barely moving expression to remain still, though inside, he was shocked by this new knowledge. "Oh? Moon calls them for Love?" He tried to poke Moon's AI in his headspace, but the other remained quiet. Sun and Moon were able to communicate through their shared headspace, but the other AI moved away from Sun's poking, making him scoff internally.
"Yeah... I was just wondering because my mom and dad call each other that." Little Kris continued before going back to doodling as little kids do when they lose interest in getting an answer.
Which fit Sun fine as his inner workings were reeling, his fans kicking in. Moon had never mentioned that he was hanging out with a night guard, and especially not this one.
Sun could usually peek through Moon's eyes and be present when Moon was in control, but lately, the other AI had closed the connection, and at first, Sun thought maybe Moon just needed alone time, which was, of course, fine! But it seems there were other things at play.
But Sun couldn't ask Moon about this right now. He was working and busy as he was an excellent daycare attendant. He thought so himself, at least.
--
Luckily for Sun, the kids got picked up earlier today, and he decided that as soon as he had cleaned, he would poke his other half until he responded.
As Sun swept the floors and cleaned the surfaces, he heard the doors open, and the Security guard came in. The animatronic scattered to the playground to hide as he often did when this guard came around. It was not that he hated this security guard or anything. He and Moon didn't trust any of the adults. But for Moon, that might have changed.
"Hello? Moon?"
Sun was in one of the play castles, quiet as he hid in the small tower, checking his internal clock. It was indeed time for Moon to come out, and Sun could feel the other stir.
The sunny animatronic kept his white eyes on the security guard, hiding behind the castle doorway as he spoke internally.
"Oh! So now you respond to me." Sun grumbled.
"... I just woke up," Moon mumbled back in reply.
"And?! Moonie, what is this about you calling THIS security guard for 'Love'??!"
Moon groaned in the headspace. "You said you didn't like them, and I wanted to see them for myself and quickly found out you're being a dumbass."
Sun squawked in their shared space. "ME?? A DUMBASS? Moonie! The adults are not nice to us ever. I mean, you even told me you hate all the night guards and the security guards!"
Sun could feel Moon rolling his eyes. "This one's different. Let me out. They're calling for me still."
"Nuh-uh."
"... What the hell do you mean 'Nuh-uh'??" Moon growled.
"Moon? It's time to do the rounds!" The short guard called out into the empty Daycare, then removed their hat to scratch their head. "Moon? It's okay if you don't want to! Uh..."
Sun kept his eyes trained on the guard from his hiding spot.
Moon continued. "Sun! Let me out!"
"I can't believe you trust them to do those security rounds with you! They're small! weak!"
Moon scoffed. "They're nice! Now let me out!"
Sun hummed and then replied, "No."
"NO?! SUN!"
The Sunny animatronic then shut the other AI out, dooming Moon to sit back and watch as he moved down from the play castle and over to the security guard.
"Hi, Friend!" Sun said with a bright smile.
The security guard jumped in surprise and dropped their hat. "oh! Hi Sun!" they stuttered and bent down to pick the hat up. "I was wondering why the lights were still on..." They mumbled to themself.
Sun frowned, and Moon broke through. "You have never been kind to them, you wannabe jester." Sun gaped internally. Oh, how he wished he could punch his other half.
"Well! Sunshine. I got the task of cleaning the Daycare, and it took a bit longer than I thought," Sun said with a smile, but it faltered when he heard Moon's deep chuckle in the back of their shared headspace.
The guard looked at Sun with wide eyes and flushed cheeks.
Sun then realized he had given the security guard, he had avoided at all costs, a nickname, an endearing one as well. "Oh."
"Uhm... Well, if Moon isn't active, can you tell him to come find me once you're done?" The guard- ["-Sunshine." Moon supplied with a smirk in this tone.]
Sun groaned lightly, running a hand down his faceplate before smiling at the guard. "Or we could go together?"
Moon growled in the back of his head. "You cannot take my time! Sun! Go turn off the lights. Now."
Sunshine, the guard, looked shocked; it looked like this was so out of pocket for Sun to suggest. "Oh!... Are you able to leave the Daycare?" They curiously asked.
Sun hummed. "Yes, of course! If Moon can leave, why shouldn't I also be able?" he asked with a spin of his faceplate, causing Sunshine to let out a flustered giggle.
"True... Well, alright, if Moon doesn't mind," They said with a smile. Sun smiled sweetly as he heard Moon complain angrily, wandering around in their headspace. "He doesn't mind at all, Sunshine! It will be good for us to get to know each other!" He held his hand out to them, which they grabbed with a shy smile.
"Ooooo, when I get you, Sun." Moon hissed quietly in their shared head, to which the sunny side of the animatronic let out a quiet chuckle before looking down at Sunshine and guiding them to the massive doors at the entrance to the Daycare.
The two left the Daycare hand in hand to do security rounds. Maybe Moon was right about this one, Sun thought as he glanced down at the guard as they walked together.
This time it was different.
Not that Sun ever wanted to give Moon right, but perhaps he could let this guard close to them.
Just this one time.
#fnaf security breach#fnaf moon#fnaf sun#fnaf daycare attendant#sun x reader#moon x reader#sun#moon#sundrop#moondrop#dca#dca fandom#writing#creative writing#fanfic#fluff#silly#I hope you guys like it (:#its been a while since i finished writing anything LMAO#oh forgot one#daycare attendant x reader#(:
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ITS DONE OMG (i could done more but i haven’t done enough digital art to figure out what to do 😭) 10 hours and individually drawing and coloring crayons because i forgot how to copy paste them later and here’s the eggs coloring from chapter 8 of @tastytoastz’s fic! live laugh love mermaids 🫶 random details i wanted to point out/talk about underneath :)
i wasn’t joking when i said this took 10 hours and most of it was done with me hunched over like a goblin at 12 am-
details i liked/you can’t really see but are there:
leo has pronoun bracelets! they’re wearing all 3 right now :)
richas has stickers on his leg and they’re from pomme and bobby (idk the state of bobby but i love him so i included him)
richas also has a bobby friendship bracelet and sunny and empanada have matching ones as well!
em and richas actually have matching boots but you can’t tell because of how richas feet are positioned (ems have cats while richas’s is mooshrooms, yes this was inspired by the post made about them)
i had to redraw ramons mustache 6 times because it just kept making his face look weird
all of the crayon drawings are made using the crayon pen on Ibis paint 😭
all of the crayons closest to the kids are the colors they used in the art even if you can’t see it
i couldn’t remember what the room was described to have looked like and ao3 was still down when i was making it so i just based it off an aquarium room i saw this summer lmaooo
sunny is missing her sunglasses because somehow i drew them on the wrong layer and they’re actually just behind her body 😭
i spent the longest of leo’s tail and in the playback of the speed draw there’s just a picture of a lion fish covering half the screen for like 3 minutes
i cannot draw eyes from the side. please help. what do faces look like.
#ao3#qsmp#qsmp empanada#qsmp eggs#qsmp ramon#qsmp sunny#qsmp richarlyson#qsmp leonarda#art#qsmp fanart#mermaid#toast fics#my hands hurt#and so does my back#i was hunched over like a shrimp for most of this#i’ve done more art for this fic than my own
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Sun and Moondrop with a sibling reader
-Reader: no pronouns used + no gender implied
-It/they for Sun and Moon
Requested: No/Yes
Warnings: None
Disclamer: Characters personality, looks, ect may be different from canon due to either hc or author has just forgotten.
A/N: This one was not my best and was a little shorter than i hoped it would have been but yet again brain didn't work a lot so sorry but i hope you like it!
^ Made by me
-☼ When you where introduced to Sun it was beaming with excitement, after the workers gave them the simple info on your job and that you where made to help all the kids with anxiety, fidgiting, not wanting to be around others, ect. There was a spot made in the nap room called the quiet corner, its for all the kids who want to be somewhere calm and just read, play or talk without all the energetic kids around.
-☼ When you got introduced to the kids the older and calmer kids loved spending time with you, playing with you, singing with you, fidgiting with you, everything they wanted to do you gladly joined in with them, Sun loved that you got along with the kids as well as they did.
"Alright kids, its snack time!" Sun said packing up the puppet show stuff "sunbeam can you go get the kids from the quiet corner? thank you!" Sun asked, you nodded and went to get the kids for snack time.
When you got back with the children you helped Sun line the kids up and handed them their plates and got ready to hand out the juice boxes or water. After all the kids got their food they sat down at the tables and Sun opened its checklist "sunbeam can you go get the blankets and pillows please?" it asked, you nodded and went to set up the sleeping area.
^ Made by me
-☾ Moon was surprised to see a new animatronic but after Sun briefly told it that you where their new sibling moon was happy to have another family member and a new helping hand that was like them. After small introductions you two went to put the children to sleep, after you made sure all the children where asleep Moon and you carefully sat down and talked about the children and what your job was.
-☾ They talked to you about what to do after naptime was over and about the other animatronics in the pizza plex, you found out that there was this one trouble maker called Gregory that got banned from the pizza plex and how Moon had a small hatred towards him.
As you two talked softly about the pizza plex Moon came up with a idea "star do you want to draw with me?" you smiled brightly and nodded, very excited that you get to draw with your sibling.
Moon came back with the paper and crayons, you both started drawing with the soft sound of humming coming from Moon, even though the lighting was dim it was light enough for you to see what you where doing. Some time pasted and you where both done with your drawings, Moon drew you sitting on a cresent moon "can i see your drawing star?" you smiled and gave the drawing of it, Sun and you hanging out in a field of flowers, Moon cooed and gave you a gentle hug "it looks amazing star, we can show it to Sun after the kids wake up."
After some time the kids started waking up and going to sit with Moon and you, after a couple of minutes all the children woke up, Moon got up and stretched "okay little ones, Moony has to go now but Sunny will be back" the children softly whinned about not getting to spend time with Moon but it quieted them after saying that their caregivers will be here shortly to pick them up.
#☾★ adonis beloveds ★☽#☾★ adonis ★☽#child reader#five nights at freddys#gender neutral reader#gn reader#reader insert#political#male reader#fnaf sundrop#fnaf daycare attendant#fnaf sun and moon#fnaf moon#moondrop#fnaf sb#fnaf moondrop#fnaf sun#sundrop x child reader#sundrop x y/n#sundrop x reader#daycare attendant#moondrop x child reader#moondrop x y/n#moondrop x reader#sundrop
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What a Mess
summary: After a long day at work, Natalie finds out she has more to do when Sun comes to her covered in a mess.
word count: 962
author's note: ...the movie got to me. It healed my inner child. I couldn't resist at least having Sun be a platonic f/o! 13 year old me is screaming her little head off right now because I wrote this lol
banner credit: mmadeinheavenn
It was closing time for the Pizzaplex.
Finally.
Natalie shooed the last straggler out of the daycare before shutting the doors behind her. She flicked her staff hat off and ruffled her hair, feeling hungry and worn out. Her day wasn’t entirely done, though, because there was still a mess the kids left behind waiting for her. Balls taken from that dreaded ball pit were thrown everywhere, some shoes were left behind, building blocks littered all over the mats, and drawings scattered everywhere.
She sighed and put her hat back on, “Guess I’m goin’ home late again.”
Just as she started to collect the brightly colored balls, Natalie heard rustling around up in the jungle gym area. Then, there was distressed animatronic mumbling.
“Sun?” She asked, throwing the ball in her hand back in the pit, “Where are you?”
Whatever shuffling she heard earlier stopped as soon as she spoke. Natalie fixed her glasses and walked around, trying to find him.
“Sunny? Come on, I don’t have time to play hide and seek tonight. Can you help me clean up?”
“Clean up?” A voice asked above her.
Natalie saw part of his face poking out behind a slide and waved him down, “Yeah! There’s some drawings here for you, too.”
“Drawings?”
Before she could utter another word, Sun hopped down and hesitantly stepped in the light. When she could see him better, Natalie audibly groaned.
“You let the kids draw all over you again, didn’t you?” She pursed her lips.
Sun turned his face away a little, seemingly embarrassed, “They said they ran out of paper! They wanted to make me pretty!”
She fumbled with her key ring to find the keys to her office, “At least it’s not stickers again. Those were a nightmare to clean off.”
“You won’t let me have stickers without you around!” He reminded her, “I miss them…”
“It’s not that I don’t trust you, Sunny,” Natalie found her key and beckoned him to follow her, “It’s that I don’t trust the kids. They always make a mess that I have to clean up.”
He titled his head, “But it’s so much fun! Lots and lots of fun!”
“Sure, for the one that doesn’t have to spend hours cleaning up sticky goo off of metal.” Natalie unlocked her office and searched her desk for the wipes she bought special for situations like this. Sun watched her curiously in the doorway and looked at how her office was decorated.
It was very dreary. The walls were a depressing gray, her desk chair was extremely worn out, and she had little to no decorations. Except for one thing hung up on the wall.
He pointed ahead, grabbing Natalie’s attention, “You kept it?”
She looked to where he was pointing and smiled, “Of course I did! You made it for me!”
The only thing that decorated her entire office was a drawing Sun did for her when she first started working at the Pizzaplex. It had a little Sun and a little Natalie smiling and holding hands under a rainbow that read “To my new bestest friend! Welcome aboard!!”
Sun clicked his cold fingers together, “You really liked it?”
“Yes!” Natalie giggled, grabbing her wipes before locking the office, “It’s from my best friend! Of course I love it!”
She took a seat on the playmats and patted the spot in front of her. Sun carefully sat down in front of her and leaned down so she could reach him better. His face was covered in crayon and marker. Little suns, flowers, cats and dogs, and kids’ names were all over in an assortment of colors. Natalie took a wipe and started to scrub the drawings away. Her movements made little squeaking noises against Sun’s metal face.
“You gotta stop letting the kids do this.” She muttered, struggling to clean up one particular marker doodle.
Sun did his best to stay still while she cleaned him up, “But they have so much fun!”
“They can have fun playing in other ways, Sunny.” Natalie finally got the one stain out and moved on to the next, “That’s what this place is here for, you know. You live in a playground.”
“I like it, though!” He whirred, “I make lots of friends when they doodle! We also ran out of paper and they weren’t interested in games!”
Natalie stopped to grab a new wipe, “All you gotta do is call me to grab you guys more paper. That’s what I’m here for, you know.”
“You’re so busy!” Sun shook his head, “Busy, busy!”
“Well, yeah!” She pulled his face towards her again, “I am busy here because it’s my job!”
She finished up wiping away the last of the crayon marks and let go of him. The mats squeaked as she stood up and stretched. Sun got up after her and touched his freshly cleaned face.
“Thank you.” He said quietly.
“Sure!” Natalie smiled at him, “Now, can you help me clean up before I go?”
“Keep the light on when you do!” Sun said anxiously, “...Please?”
She handed him one of the drawings she found, “Of course I will.”
Just like she expected, cleaning up took up most of her night. It was shocking how kids could jam toys into places Natalie never thought they could reach. Once they were finally done, she stuck around for another hour or so to drink Fizzy Pop with Sun and to keep him company. When it was time for her to get back home, Sun was left alone in the daycare once again. Instead of feeling lonely, though, he made sure to draw something new for Natalie. He wanted to make sure his best friend could decorate her office with lots of wonderful things.
Tag list: @rainy-day-ships @bobmckenzie @wanderers-wife @lieutenantselnia @gideongrovel @ghilliedup @felixrichtershubby @fates-theysband @mashyaoi @cherrypieships lmk if you want to be added/removed! ♡
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The Origin Chapter 1
Early access before I post this on Ao3.
Word count: 1.3k
Warnings: Not really any, slight mention of someone's possible death and a drawing of nakey Sunny (nothing naughty is really showing, he just hadn't been given clothes yet, lol)
It all started with white. When he first opened his eyes, the light of the world hurt. It burned for a while, until his eyes adjusted to it. Everything around him was blurry, and white. He saw things moving in front of him. No, not things. Humans.
"It opened it's eyes!"
"Check the monitors! Are we ready to take it out of the tub?"
"All vitals are stable, sir! I think it's ready to be taken out."
What were they talking about? He couldn't understand it. He felt so curious. What was happening in front of him? Who were these people? Where were the children?
Children?
Where did that come from?
Suddenly, he heard loud whirring. Then he felt something grab him by his armpits, lifting him. Where was he going?
He was lifted above his original position. He shivered, as the liquid he had previously floated in left his body, and his skin was hit with the cold air. He let out a quick shriek, the coldness felt uncomfortable.
But then he could see clearly, the world was no longer blurry. The multiple machines in the room. White walls full of scripted posters and weird pictures. Monitors displaying moving lines and dots and making beeping sounds.
He was put down to a soft surface. Oh, it was warm, and so cozy! He immediately rolled on his stomach and rubbed himself on the soft comfort with giggles.
Wait! He stopped and sat back up. Was that his voice? He let out another laughter. Oh! Laughing made his head feel happy. Could he talk?
"Haa..hhaah...Haalloo?"
He could! The words were coming from his mouth. He touched it. Felt his tongue, and teeth, and the insides of his cheeks. Tongue was slimy, cheeks were soft, teeth were hard.
"Hello there. Can you hear me?"
Oh, he had completely forgotten the humans in the room. Now one of them was standing in front of him, bent down to wave her hand. He pulled his hands back from his mouth, and tilted his head in answer.
"Good," she said, "Can you speak?"
He poked his lips thoughtfully at first, before opening his mouth again.
"Y-yes..."
The human in front of him scribbled something to the clip board she was holding in her arms.
"Good. Very good."
He felt his insides warm up. He was being good! He liked the feeling. He pointed at the pen and board the human was holding.
"What is that?"
The human looked between him and the item he was pointing at. "Oh! This is just some notes I need to take, so we can see if you're ready to start learning."
"Can I try?" he begged.
The human looked between the pen and the notes, and then raised her finger to call over one of the other humans in the room.
"Could you get me a piece of paper and some crayons?" she requested from the other one, who nodded and rushed to the other side of the room.
He looked after the other human, but the first one spoke to him again to get his attention.
"Here, let's continue. If everything seems correct, I'll let you draw with some crayons, ok?"
He nodded and moved his attention back to her. Crayons sounded nice. He had never seen them before, but somehow he knew they were colourful and fun to work with.
"Okay, first. Can you tell me your name?"
He tilted his head, confused.
"I have a name?"
The human in front of him looked at him confused.
"Didn't anybody tell you your name? Have you heard what the people around you call you?"
He scratched his chin, thoughtfully. What did they usually call him?
"Sun... Sunrise?" he finally answered.
The human in front of him smiled warmly. "Good. Sunrise. That's you."
Sunrise smiled widely, he was being praised for the second time already!
The human in front of him continued, "Now, let's challenge up a little bit, shall we? Who is your owner?"
"Fazbear corporation." The words came almost automatically out of his mouth.
"And what do you do for them?"
"Children. I mean-! I watch after the children. Have lots of fun with them!"
How did he knew this? It was like he had dreamt about it. Before waking up. Was this his purpose?
"Excellent, Sunrise," she chirped at him, and took the items from the other human who had came back. Sunrise smiled so widely and he could feel his hair, wait no, his... rays, wiggle.
"Now, just one more question." She tapped the package of crayons on her hand.
"Do you know the rules? Will you follow them?"
Sunrise tilted his head to the side again. Rules? Rules were very important, weren't they? He tried to pinch his memory, the yet discoverable parts of his brain, to be able to answer the question.
"No disobeying masters. No leaving the Daycare without a human companion. No bullying in the Daycare. No leaving the building in any sort of situations unless given permission by master." He listed all the things he could pinch out of his subconsciousness.
"I will always follow the rules!"
The human nodded at him with a bright smile. "Good! Very good, Sunrise. You've earned your reward."
She handed the small box of crayons and a piece of white paper to him. He took them eagerly, humming as he was happy to be good and smart, and praised for it.
"Thank you!" he looked at the human for a moment and noticed the name tag hanging ftom her labcoat, "...Dr. Weston... Angela!" He read slowly and bounced excitedly, "What a pretty name you have, Doctor!"
Dr. Weston blushed in slight surprise and blinked at Sunrise's sudden compliment.
"Thank you, Sunrise... Now get to your drawing, I'll be back to you shortly."
As he started scribbling down to the paper with the crayons, Dr. Weston got up and retreated back to her co-workers.
"Intelligence and obedience is just as supposed to be. We can run the rest of the diagnostics and tests and let him socialise with the others."
"Another succesfully sentient Animutant to the Fazbear Corporation? These guys are sure milking them from us. They ordered another one from Lab 2.B almost at the same time. Another Daycare Attendant to one of the sister locations. Celestial themed as the first one as well. I wonder if we'll get to see that one before it gets shipped to the location."
"Oh yeah, Fazbear's got money, they're one of our best customers. I hope Sunrise will adjust to his new environment."
"Why do you worry about that? Did you already get attached to him after your little chat? You know that he is just an animal?"
"I know. He just seems so... innocent. Much more innocent than Solar was."
"The first celestial for Fazbears? Wasn't that one kind of unhinged from the very start?"
"He was. Sunrise is supposed to replace him. They're sending Solar back here in hopes of us getting rid of him or reselling him for other purposes. He seems to be causing trouble and has tried to forcefully remove his microchip multiple times."
She looks at Sunrise, who is happily colouring his very first masterpiece while swinging his legs up and down on the towel he was laying on.
"They told us to make this one a people pleaser, and give it anxiety over it, so it wouldn't wanna disobey anyone like Solar did."
The co-worker patted her shoulder gently, "Don't worry, he'll be here for couple more months and we'll be able to see his performance before he goes. So far he seems very sweet and friendly. Perfect for working at a daycare, don't you think?"
She smiled, and nodded. Yes. Sunrise was perfect for his purpose.
#fnaf au#pixel writes#sun#fnaf sb#pixel draws#fnaf#security breach#animutants#sundrop#sunnydrop#the daycare attendad#sunrise#fnaf daycare attendant
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Sunflowers
The first time Vasya sees van Gogh's "Sunflowers", he is six years old.
The yellow calls out to him, bright and sunny, from the poster on the classroom wall. He stands in front of it and stares, young mind captivated by how warm it makes him feel, even as he lacks the words to describe the feeling. Silent until his teacher comes to find him, and he works up the courage to point and ask: who painted that?
She tells him the story of a suffering artist, a man consumed by pain and misery, who painted in yellow because it made him happy, and ate the yellow paint because he wanted that happiness inside of him. Vasya drinks up the story like someone dying of thirst and, when the teacher finally persuades him to come outside with the rest of the children, the painting sticks in his mind.
It stays there for a long time. Bright yellow. Warm yellow. Happy yellow. Yellow crayons and coloured-pencils used up long before any other colour. Sunflowers in the margins of his workbooks. Sunflowers on scraps of paper hidden in his room. Sunflowers in his mind when his father gets loud, when the basement door slams shut, when his mother tells him that crying will get him nowhere.
He thinks of the man who ate yellow paint because he wanted to be happy, and considers following in his footsteps.
Years pass. He grows up, switches schools. In the posters absence, the sunflowers fade.
Vasya finds them again when he's 14, being lead around the Kolorit exhibition in Mayakovskoho Square, Rustem's hand comforting and solid in his. A flash of warm, sunny yellow in the corner of his eye. He's a child again. Still hopeful. Still dreaming. It's as beautiful as he remembers.
The woman at the stall smiles at him, warm like the sun and the sunflowers and his best friend's hand. Asks if he likes the picture, draws a shy nod from him. Asks if he knows the story behind it, and he nods again. Drags up the energy to talk about the sad man who painted it, the yellow he consumed... and is shocked when the woman shakes he head.
No no, she says. Van Gogh didn't paint the sunflowers because he was sad - he painted them because he was happy. Vasya listens as she describes a man who was sad and hurting, yes, but also loved and cherished. A man who ate paint because he was unwell, not because he thought it would make him happy. A man with family and friends who wrote to and visited and helped him, for whom he painted the sunflowers in gratitude.
Once again, Vasya absorbs this story. When he returns to his parents' house, the people in question absent as usual, he stashes a postcard copy of the Sunflowers under his pillow. Temporarily, of course. He decides he'll find a better place for it tomorrow.
That night, his dreams are full of bright warm yellow.
The next morning, his parents are back early. His father's hands drag him out of bed ("Do you have any fucking idea what time it is?"), sheets pulled into disarray. The postcards hiding place revealed in the blink of an eye. He owns it for less than a full day. It turns to ash in front of him, in the main room fireplace. His father makes him watch until there's nothing left. This time, he doesn't have the strength to cry.
More years. No more sunflowers. What point is there in holding onto them, when the world seems hell-bent on tearing them away?
And then.
And then he's 18. Stood in an art supply store in Moscow, shaking like an autumn leaf. A big grey dog on one side, a small grey man on the other.
"Pick anything you'd like, Vasyenka", his uncle says, meaning every word. "Anything at all."
A far cry from what he's used to. Filled with uncertainty as he walks down the aisles, wide grey eyes scanning over everything until he's overwhelmed by the choice. It threatens to get too much, until two things happen in perfect tandem.
One: Rosie, bless her, presses her cold wet nose into his hand, bringing him back down to earth
Two: a familiar glint of warm, sunny yellow catches the corner of his eye.
That evening, he slips a postcard under his pillow, and fastens a poster to his new wall.
Surrounded by the Sunflowers he loves, and the people who love him, he sleeps.
At last, his dreams are filled with yellow, and this time it doesn't fade.
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Ya know…I don’t think I ever showed my redesign of my fan designs of Sun and Moon so…
Here you go :3
Made them a bit easier for myself to draw while also keepin some aspects that I love. Like moons bow tie, gradients and star squeaker on his hat and Sunny’s waist bow and crayon/splattered paint designs :3
I love em so much XD and yes…I gave them full ref sheets cuz I enjoy torturing myself XD
#sundrop#moondrop#sun fnaf#moon fnaf#security breach#fan designs#redesigns#ref sheet#sfw tickling community#I do love these two goofs so much#so much fun to draw#and look at them#they just so cuuuuute
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E.B.-sitter 2
Once again, the adults decided to all go out together. That meant, once again, E.B. was being trusted to watch all the kids. And this time, she had five to maintain.
She had her paper and crayons ready for Terry. She had cartoons ready for Junior and Molly. But Jenny and Mikaela were new, so what kept them entertained would take trial and error.
So far, the only upside involving Mikaela was that she’s still too little to play any games. E.B. was told by Melanie that Mikaela usually rests all day and the most she’d do is coo or giggle; maybe even ask for a hug.
-
“If Mikaela asks for a hug, make sure you give it to her. Otherwise she’ll be really upset”, Melanie warned.
“I get it. My brother used to be that way”, E.B. says.
“At least you have a precedent set. Good luck, E.B.”
-
Terry sat at the coffee table drawing pictures. He definitely improved from the discernible scribbles he used to make. E.B. was genuinely impressed with how much better he’d gotten.
Guy Jr. was also really happy that he had so many playmates at his house. He wanted to make the most out of their visit. So, he jumped off the couch.
“Junior!”, E.B. exclaimed in shock. “Be careful!”
“Yes, Sissy!”, he replied. And he continued to walk away.
In the meantime, Molly was still seated next to E.B. Seeing Junior running around, she giggled loudly. Then she reached forward.
“Come on, Molly”, E.B. groaned. “At least watch TV with me!”
Little Molly had her own agenda though. She reached forward, in Junior’s direction. So far forward that she rolled off the couch, her ribbon falling off her head, and landed on her bottom.
So many things raced through the little girl’s head when that happened: Oh, the humiliation!, Owie!, Junior, I just wanted to play with you! and Why didn’t you save me, E.B.?! The poor thing started crying. Mikaela instinctively began to mimic her older cousin. Jenny swiftly joined in.
E.B. groaned and put her head in her hands. “Please don’t cry, everyone! I’m sorry, Molly!” She picked her up, holding her close. “Please stop crying”, the teen requested calmly, “or your mom and dad won’t let me look after you anymore.” Still supporting her with one hand, the teen slipped Molly’s headband back on.
Jenny tapped E.B.’s knee, her own eyes bloodshot. “It’s okay, Jenny. I see you too.”
Surprisingly, Terry and Junior didn’t lose their cool when the girls started crying; maybe because they were the older ones. Instead, Junior jumped back onto the couch and hugged Molly along with E.B. Terry was finishing up his drawing, which consisted of himself, Mikaela, their parents and their grandfather standing in a meadow on a sunny day.
“Mm-hm”, he muttered.
“What’chu got there, Terry?”, E.B. asked. She puts Molly back on the couch and walks over to the coffee table. She picks up his drawing and takes a good look at it. “Wow! Looks great!” Although she had to ask: “What about Grandma Pam and Grandpa Grinch?” The boy shrugged, muttering something like ‘I dunno’.
On the couch, Junior and Molly were looking at Mikaela, still in her carrier. She had her eyes open very lazily. She barely perked up upon seeing the other two. At the opposite end of the couch, Jenny looked envious.
“Hello, Mikaela!”, Junior greeted her. He waved too; Molly mimicked his action.
“Umm, Junior?”, his sister targeted him with her question, “I think she’s getting tired.” Then spared a cursory glance at Jenny. She laughed a little at how envious she was being. It reminded her of how Junior would behave whenever he saw her show affection for anyone else. “Why don’t you and Molly hang out with Jenny?”
“Okay, Sissy!” He slowly hobbled across the couch to Jenny, Molly crawling right after him.
Mikaela, noticing that they left, whimpered sadly. At first, E.B. didn’t notice. Then, Mikaela reached upwards. She still went unnoticed. She flailed her arms vigorously. Her whimpering got a hair louder. Finally, E.B. looked at what was going on.
“Oh! Mikaela! Your mom told me this would happen! Don’t worry!” She stood up and picked the infant up, hugging her. “See? I’m here for you!”
Junior was too preoccupied to notice his sister’s empathy for another, so he didn’t complain this time.
Despite sitting and watching TV, Jenny wasn’t quite entertained enough. She promptly slid off the couch and crawled over to E.B., tugging the hem of her skirt.
The teen looks down. “One sec, Jenny.”
Literally one second later, the magenta child tugged her skirt again.
“Hold on. At least let me set Mikaela down again.” And she does so. Then she squats to be eye level with Jenny. “What do you want?” Jenny puts her hands up. “You want a hug too? I got you!”
“And me!”, Terry demanded. That was the loudest and most expressive he’d ever been as far as E.B. knew him.
E.B. felt like she was a witch and her hugs were how she used magic. And her signature spell seemed to be happiness for the children. Perhaps she should make this a regular job…
Nah. This would be too much for her to handle if it was twenty or so kids and not five.
And so, she did what she did last time: turned the radio on and played a fun song. This time: All Shook Up.
The boys danced on their own. Molly excitedly hit her palms against the couch cushion. Jenny clapped. Mikaela giggled. Just like last time, E.B. took turns dancing with each of them. Many more laughs were shared.
They later chilled out with a jigsaw puzzle. It was a custom one made by Michellee and Guy as a birthday present: the picture was a Chickeraffe; Mr. Jenkins to be exact, with E.B. herself on his back, Guy and Sam on one side and Michellee on the other (everyone else had their heads pasted on the borders). When Junior had his face filled in, he exclaimed “That’s me!”
Before the last pieces were added, E.B. grew drowsy and passed out.
Not too long after, the adults finally got back. They saw E.B. asleep on the floor again, the kids all around her.
“Looks like she did it again”, Michellee complimented quietly.
Pam and Grinch scooped up Jenny. Sam and Gluntz took Molly. Melanie and Jack grabbed Terry and Mikaela, as well as Terry’s drawings.
Finally, Michellee picked up Junior and carried him to his room. Guy took E.B. and carried her to her room.
“You did a good job again, sweetie”, he whispered to her
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Hello friends^^ Sunny what do you like to draw the most? Also if you want- can we draw together?? I brought crayons!! :D Oh and Moon i bought a blue blanket with stars on it! It reminds me of you since you bring me a lot of comfort when i feel sad :)
☀️: "Hello, friend! My favourite thing to draw is... Moony! He's my best model!"
*runs to fetch his sketchbook*
"Yes! Yes! Yes! Let's draw together! I love your crayons!! Moony! Come join us too!"
🌙: "Alright, I'll draw with you. I like your blanket."
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Attention
Pairing: Sundrop/Sunny/Sun X GN!Reader
Can be read from a Romantic or Platonic standpoint
Au: None
Warnings: None
——————-
“Sunny, stop it.” Your eyes narrowed as the animatronic beside you had started pulling on your shirt. You knew he craved attention, even if that meant tugging on any available clothing like a small child. You were trying to do your job, key word here being trying. The jester had been practically throwing himself at you over and over again. It’s not that you didn’t care for the guy, you did, but you really need to finish up with these forms.
“Please? Please? I’ll be quiet afterward! Just one game? Just a few minutes of drawing? Anything?” You let out a very long, incredibly drawn out sigh before nodding and pulling yourself away from your work. You folded like a lawn chair every time the cheerful animatronic even lightly begged for attention. In some ways he was a light in your life, in others you wanted to flick his forehead until he stopped talking.
“Yay! I knew you’d come around, that’s why you’re my favorite!”
“I’m your favorite? Why, because I’m more of a pushover?” He gasped as if he was the one offended by such a thought. It almost made you laugh at how quickly he seemed taken aback by your words.
“Don’t call yourself that! You’re my favorite because you’re fun! You’ll glue googly eyes on your art with me!” It was then you finally let out the laugh you’d been holding. You loved him. You really did, he was such a good thing in your day to day life. Yes even when he was annoying you to no end. Maybe it was the fact he saw everything through such a happy lens. Perhaps it was just that he was programmed to always be cheerful.
But really? It was because he felt like home.
He was your biggest comfort here, he would never judge you. Thats why you loved him so much. That’s why you always did your work in the daycare. Hell, it’s partially the reason you work the night shift. That and you know how to deal with Moon better then the others. You’ve gotten good at general avoidance and odd peaceful moments when he’d sleep near you. You guessed it’s how he recharged? You don’t know but regardless you enjoyed your time with both of them.
“Fine, fine, you get the glitter glue and the googly eyes. I’ll get the construction paper and crayons. Okay?”
“Okay!” The happy-go-lucky jester skipped away to grab the various materials you’d asked for. You stood for a second and watched him before shaking your head. This attention hog wouldn’t stop and you were okay with that.
———————————————————————
#sundrop x reader#platonic x reader#fnaf x reader#x reader#gender neutral reader#gender neutral insert#security breach x reader#sunnydrop x reader
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Coloring
(This literally was supposed to be a short imagine idk what happened. Please enjoy. There might be some mistakes cause I wrote this on my phone)
Everything is cleaned after the daycare closes but you still feel stressed. Like somethings a miss, even though you have checked multiple times that everything is done and in its right place. Everything just feels off.
“Great work today Sunbeam!” Sun says as he skips over to you “Today was such a great day! Don't you- Hey what’s wrong??”
You turn to him playing with your hands “Oh sorry Sunny I’m just a little stressed. But I’m ok!” You quickly say.
He stares at you for a moment “Stressed about what Sunshine?” He asks tilting his head.
You huff “Just it feels like I’m forgetting to do something. I’ve checked everything and everything is done and clean but it still feels like I haven’t done something and I know you would tell me if I forgot something but my brain is being dumb”
Sun likes out an offended gasp “Your brain is not dumb! Your the smartest person I know!” You let out a small laugh. Sun tsks and takes your hand in his “Now none of that. Your right, nothing is amiss and everything is done. You just need to relax! Have some fun!”
You stood there for a moment thinking. When was the last time you had fun? Yes, taking care of the kids and working with Sun was fun but not always. Kids are messy and loud. At times it felt overwhelming, maybe you just needed to sit back and have some fun for yourself without worrying.
You look up at him and smile “Alright Sun, what should we do?” Sun lets out a squeal and begins naming off things for you two to do, but one catches your interest.
“Could we color?” You ask. Coloring sounded nice. It wasn’t stressful or needed you to run around and at the moment you just wanted to sit.
Sun lets out a giggle and his smile turns wider “Of course Starlight! Wonderful idea! Now you sit at the crafts table and get nice and comfy while I get the supplies!”
You didn’t argue, letting go of his hand and walking to the table as Sun ran off to the cupboards full of art supplies.
Sun walked over to you. Arms fulls of paper, crayons, and coloring books. He sets them on the table and spreads everything out before sitting himself down across from you. You grab a piece of paper and choose a few colors from the box of crayons.
What should you even draw? You thought for a moment before peeking up on Sun. He was already working on his own drawing. His tongue slightly peeked out of his mouth as he concentrated.
You smile deciding on what to draw now. You grab a golden yellow crayon and began to scribble on the paper.
“What are you drawing Sunshine?” Sun asks looking up from his own paper.
You hide your drawing with your arm and grin “It’s a surprise” Sun whines asking for you to show him but you stay firm. You want it to be a surprise.
He hmph’s before covering his own. “Fine. Mine will be a surprise too!”
You laugh “Fair enough.” You grab a red and sky blue crayon.
20 minutes pass before you deem your drawing finished to your liking. You just hope Sun will like it. You look over at Sun, he still seems hard at work on his drawing. So you grab another piece of paper and begin another drawing.
“Finished!” Sun yells making you jump. “Can I see yours now pleaseee?” He begs. You laugh and grabbed your finished drawing and hand it to him. Sun excitedly grabs it and brings it up to his face to look. His once wide smile slowly goes down at his looks at the drawing. Did he not like it?
“Um, I drew you and me. Y-Your actually quite fun to draw.” You admit picking at your nails. “D-Do you like? I know I’m not as good as you or Moon.”
Sun sets the paper down gently before stretching his arms out to pull you into a tight hug. You felt your face heat up at the sudden hug.
“Like it?! I love it!” He squeals. He keeps you close as he looks at the drawing again. “I love how you drew me! Especially my eyes!”
You felt yourself relax hearing this. You were so worried he wouldn’t like it. But then again, he has drawings everywhere from children that he absolutely loves so you truly didn’t have anything to worry about.
“I’m glad Sun. You can keep it if you like.” You say returning his hug finally.
He lets out an excited gasp “Really? I can? Are you sure??” You let out a laugh and reach up to boop his nose making his eyes go crossed.
“Of course Sunny. I would be happy if you did”
He giggles and nuzzles his faceplate against your cheek “Oh thank you! I’m gonna make a frame and hang it up in our room!”
You smiled “Can’t wait to see it.” You hum thinking for a moment. “Hey Sun, is Moon awake right now?”
Sun stares off for a moment. Letting you know he was checking. Depending on who was out at the time. The other would sometimes go into rest mode to charge while the other was in control.
“Why yes, he is! Did you want to ask him something?” He asks tilting his head.
“Not yet, but I wanted your opinion and I wanted to surprise Moon. So I wanted to make sure he couldn’t see it yet.” You saw grabbing your unfinished drawing and showing it to Sun.
“I wanted to draw Moon and me too, I noticed he doesn’t get any yet, since the kids are still getting used to him being back for nap time. It’s not done yet but do you think he’ll like it?”
Sun looks down at the unfinished drawing. You had you and Moon sketched out in crayon but you still needed to color it. You always wanted to add stars and moons in the back as well.
Sun hugs your tightly making sure not to crumble the drawing in your hand. “Oh, my stars! He’ll love it! Your so nice!”
You let out a laugh “Of course Sunny. I care about both of you equally. You both deserve stuff like this.”
Sun lets out a happy sigh and nuzzles your face again. “What did we do to deserve you?”
You nuzzle back smiling at the warmth he radiated warmth. “I should be asking that.”
“Oh! I need to show you what I drew!” Sun reaches over with one arm and picks up his drawing, handing it to you. You take it gently and look down at it. Just like you did, he drew him and you. In your eyes, it was slightly better done than yours. But it still had the same cartoony style.
While yours had suns and clouds around both of you, his had hearts instead making you smile. You set the paper down and embrace him again, placing a kiss on his cheek.
“I love it Sun. Thank you.”
Sun’s rays pinned as his face turned into a bright orange making you giggle. “I-I'm g-glad you like it! You can keep it!”
You smile laying your head on his shoulder “Thanks Sunny”
As you two sit there holding each other, the lights begin to flicker. Letting you know it was the end of the hour and it was almost time for Moon to come out for his patrols.
“Do you think Moon would wanna draw with me too?” You ask Sun. While you hung out with both of the attendants, Moon never seemed to show interest in art like Sun. Then again he mostly came out for nap time and patrols, and you would usually be tired so most of the time you two would watch movies or shows till it was time for you to leave.
“Of course Sunshine! Though he does prefer painting. But no problem! We’ll just bring up some paints to our room and you two can draw in there! Those fairy lights you got us have enough light for you to see and not bother Moon!” Sun lets go of you and get up, skipping over to the cupboards again.
You begin to put the crayons back in the box in their rightful spots. You pick up your drawings and the paper before quickly heading up to Sun and Moon’s room through the secret entrance they showed you.
You set the supplies on the floor nicely and waited for Sun. Soon you heard the sign of their cable being used.
Sun steps onto the balcony of their room. One arm full of paints and brushes. He unclips the cable from his back before sending it away.
“Alright! I got the paint! I even brought the new oil paints!” He says setting them down by the crayons. He sits down across from you as the lights begin to flicker again.
“Thank you, Sun. I'll see you in a little bit. Try to get some rest ok?” You say patting his leg.
He smiles “I’ll try! Have fun with Moon!”
After he says that, the lights in the daycare and their room, turn off with a loud boom. You luckily got used to the sound. Clicks and whirrs were heard and Sun changes to Moon.
You got up keeping your back to them as you turned on the fairy lights. While they trusted you, they still weren't ready for you to watch them change. Which you understood and respected.
Once the noise from them stopped. You turned around looking at Moon. He slowly opens his eyes blinking a couple times to get used to the small amount of light. He looks up at you and gives a small smile.
“Hello Starshine, how nice to see you,” Moon says giving his arms a stretch as he takes full control of their body now.
“Good to see you too Moony.” You sit next to him. He leans against you almost purring.
“What did you and Sun do while I was asleep? He won't let me see into our memory bank” He asks looking down at you.
“Oh! We just drew. I drew him this.” You hand the drawing you made for Sun to him. Moon takes it carefully and looks at it.
“My, My, looks like we have an artist on our hands,” he says grinning down at you.
You smile, cheeks turning red. “Thanks, Moony. I was hoping to actually draw with you too?”
Moon hums “Alright, for a bit. I do still have to do my rounds.”
You give a small ‘Yay’ before grabbing your unfinished drawing. “Sun brought up some paints for you, he says you like the better.”
Moon hums as he grabs some paper and the paints “He is correct. I have many art styles programmed into me, but I've always preferred painting. Especially with watercolors.” He dips his brush into the paint and begins.
Watercolor huh? You'll have to keep that in mind. You use the light from the fairy lights to pick the colors you need from the crayon box and begin to color your drawing.
“May I ask what your drawing Starlight?” Moon asks not looking up from his paper.
Even though he wasn't looking you still used your arm to cover it. “It’s a surprise.” Moon raises his eyes to you raising a brow before he gives a chuckle and looks away.
“Very well. Mine will be a secret too.”
The two of you didn't talk much. It was a welcomed quiet. Moon wasn't much of a talker and you were fine with that. It was nice to not have to come up with a conversation. It relaxed you.
Soon you finished the last part of your drawing. Making sure to sign it. You put your crayons away as well.
“I’m done.” You say looking at Moon. He grunts as he finishes his. You watch him move the brush, unable to see what his strokes created in the dim light.
He finally puts his brush down and puts the caps back on the paints. “I am as well.”
“Alright, who should go first?” You ask.
Moon hums “May I go first?” he asks tilting his head. You giggled and nod.
He hands you the paper. You take it carefully, making sure not to touch any paint that may still be wet. Even with the dim light you could tell what it was. It was you, a realistic portrait of you.
You stared at it in awe. It was beautiful. Is this how he saw you? Oh God, you could cry.
“Moony this is amazing, no one has ever drawn me like this before. I love it”
Moon purrs at your praise. “Of course starlight. I love drawing you.” You smile and set the drawing down before pulling him into a hug. He freezes for a moment, still not used to touching before melting into your hold, letting out soft purrs.
“Oh! Here’s mine” you say handing him your drawing. “It’s not as good as yours but I hope you'll still like it”
Moon chuckles taking it “I’m sure I will like it just fine star-” He stops mid-sentence as he looks at your drawing. You began to worry. Sun didn't stare at it this long when you gave him his drawing.
“Moon? Moon are you ok?” You ask gently as you touch his shoulder. You gasp as he finally looks at you.
Big globs of tears are running down his faceplate. He lets out a sniffle “I-I'm fine Starlight.” he says trying to wipe his eyes.
You begin to panic “Moon your crying! Are you hurt?” you ask wondering if something happened to their software.
He lets out a wet laugh confusing you. “N-No no.” He says shaking his head “I’m not hurt. It's just-” He gently touches your drawing, tracing the lines. “It’s been a while since someone's drawn me,” He says softly.
Well, now your gonna cry. You take a look around their room. And from all the drawings you see. None were of Moon. Just Sun or the Glamrocks.
You bring him into a tight hug. Being careful to not crush the drawing he was holding.
“I’ll draw you a million pictures Moony. And one day when the kids get used to you again. They’ll draw you too.”
Moon sets your drawing down and hugs you back. Hiding his faceplate in your shoulder “Thank Comet.”
Moon holds you for a while. Not ready to let go yet. You're ok with that. You'll let him hold you as long as he needs.
Moon sighs before pulling away and wiping his eyes with his hand “I should probably do my patrols before the lights turn back on.” It saddens you that he had to leave for work but he was right. You nod and pick up the art supplies.
“I’ll put these away.” You say standing. “Um, would it be ok if I stayed the night?” You shyly ask.
Moon looks at you surprised for a moment, but smiles. “Of course. We'd be happy to have a sleepover with you.”
You grin “Great! I'll put these away!” You quickly head down to the daycare.
Moon watches you leave before looking back at the drawing. He stands and grabs some tape Sun keeps at his desk. He carefully hangs up the drawing above his bed, where he could see it every night.
‘They are amazing aren't they?’ Sun asks in Moon’s mind. Moon hums in agreement. He truthfully didn't know how they got so lucky with you.
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Caregiver Sundrop☀️🌙
Bc I’m so soft for them
Sunny☀️
•Sun is so caring. He takes care of and reassure his little one when something upset them distracting you with some craft
•As I said… CRAFT. He will absolutely play with you with whatever you want, finger paint? No doubt. Glitter glue? A must. Drawing with crayons? YES. Telling stories? Y e s. Hide and seek? You count!
•If the little one is a quite one he doesn’t see anything wrong with that. He will try to know you better, what you like more and then doing some craft… quietly
•I think that if the little one has some type of anxiety tick (biting nails/lips, scratching, etc.) he will absolutely try to distract you in a funny way or maybe even taking your hands in his telling you to don’t do that in a gentle manner
•Pet/little names like: sunshine, sunbite, little star. But he will surely change them if you’re uncomfy
•He lift you up in a hug when you greet him
•Waves at you sadly and tells you a lot of raccomendations when you have to go away
Moony🌙
•He Is… a little bit distant at first. But the moment he sees you yawn he’s there for you to fall asleep in a comfy pile of blanket
•he will sing for his little one… but only if you ask him politely
•If you’re a little shy he will tease you about it but then seeing your little pout he will sigh and with a gentle smile he will tells you a story
•As I said: bed time story. He’s programmed for kids and I honestly think that he likes telling stories before nap time
•You will fall asleep with him saying that you don’t need to worry about nightmares and that you’re safe
•If you suffer of insomnia he will prepare some milk or tea for you to fall asleep easily
•He will accompany you to the bathroom if you are afraid to go alone in the dark
Oh yeah, for both bad words are banned from the daycare :3
#fnaf sundrop#cg sundrop#sundrop and moondrop#sundrop imagine#five nights at freddy's#fivenightsatfreddyssecuritybreach#agere little#sfw agere#agere blog#caregiver#caregiver sundrop#little space#sundrop headcanons
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id love more about sunny and his therapist (peter?)
Ohohoho someone has read Omotober. I'll give you a couple nonnie, because Peter is a character I think I'm bringing back for Not Again, and I wanna flesh him out a bit more
Peter has a lot of different games and toys to try and make the children he works with open up. It's always interesting to see what will draw a child out of their shell or make them feel up to talking. One of the first ways he connected with Sunny was because of one of these tactics.
It was actually almost entirely by accident. Peter had left out some crayons and markers from the child he saw before Sunny's session. The little girl loved art, and it was easier for her to have something to focus on while she did it. Before that session, Sunny was a tough nut to crack. He was mostly silent, answered in short sentences or shrugs, and he clearly did not want to be here. Peter did his best, but it was almost no progress from meeting to meeting. But that day Peter saw Sunny's eyes light up out of the blue, and when Peter offered that they could do some drawing while they talked, Sunny surprisingly said yes.
After that Peter went out and bought a new pack of fresh colored pencils, and a couple of sketchbooks. Whatever helped Sunny to open up more.
Sunny had been sure he was never going to tell his therapist the full truth. Telling Hero Kel and Aubrey had been hard enough, and they knew Mari at least. They had known that Sunny loved Mari, and they could understand (or at least pretend to understand) that what had happened was an accident. He told Peter more on impulse than anything else, he had been subtly trying to figure out for weeks what might happen if he told Peter, and then he did it without even planning it out.
Telling Peter...didn't help. It did, but it didn't really change anything. The only thing it did was make it easier to tell Peter other things
Peter gives Sunny homework on occasion, and Sunny never likes it. The homework is always things that put Sunny out of his comfort zone, but it helps, so Sunny continues to bear it. Besides, Peter always seems so happy when Sunny says he gave whatever the doctor suggested a try.
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Monochrome
Lee Donghyuck/Haechan X Reader/Female OC | Romance, Eventual Smut, Fluff | NC-17 | Soulmate AU, Childhood-Friends-Become-Lovers AU
CHAPTER 1 OF 2. Part 2, titled Spectra, can be read here.
Summary: Lee Donghyuck once believed in the concept of soulmates—how fate would connect a red thread from one lover to another, in a form of dreams and memories. That was how his parents met, that was how they claimed their happiness, and he wanted nothing more but to live his life the way they lived theirs. Until one day, as he sees her slipping away from his hands, he has no choice but to stop believing entirely.
It was the color of amaranth red, Donghyuck remembers now, though he was still too young back then to know the name. It was the color of amaranth red that painted her cheeks and the tip of her nose as they were kissed by the morning breeze. It was the color of amaranth red that tinted her shoes, her knitted sweater dress, the two ribbons she wore on her hair. And it was the color of amaranth red that burst onto his cheeks, as his eyes widened in both glee, curiosity, and sheer excitement. He was four years old and she was five, but the way she spoke so courteously as she introduced herself upon their first meeting was something little Donghyuck could only imagine doing.
But it didn’t matter, Donghyuck was too distracted anyway. If he was older maybe he would’ve been left dumbfounded at the sight of her breathtaking smile, or the perfect curves of her lips, or the vibrant eyes she had hidden behind her symmetrical bangs. But he was merely a four-year-old, so he was more distracted with a jar full of chocolate cookies she carried in her arms.
“We’re the family that’s just moved in next door.” The older lady, who looked like the exact doppelgänger of the little girl, mentioned with a polite smile and a formal bow. “I hope we can become friends.”
Donghyuck’s mother cheered and took her hand in a friendly handshake before she beckoned the little girl to come closer. “Oh my, look at how adorable you are! You’re about the same age as my son. I hope you two can get along.”
Donghyuck, who had been hiding behind his mother’s legs, took a step forward. He was only interested in the jar full of cookies that she carried in her arms, licking his lips once as his eyes bore into it. But when the little girl offered the jar, grinning widely from ear-to-ear, and chirped, “Brought you some cookies! I helped my mother with these so I bet they’ll taste great!”, Donghyuck decided that he liked her more.
It was the color of azure, the crayon she held between her fingers back then, as she tried to imitate the look of his clothes on a stick figure. She was quite a painter, four-year-old Donghyuck thought, because there was no way for him to know how to draw mountains and the sun lurking behind them with that little head of his.
“Okay, so this is you,” she told him, smiling to herself as she finished perfecting her sketches of him. “And this is me. And this is our pet dog, Jelly Bean.”
“But we don’t have a dog.”
“We can have one in the future.”
“We can?”
“Of course. When we grow up, we can have whatever we want.”
Donghyuck believed her. He believed everything she said because she believed everything he said, even about the monsters living under his bed that his parents completely ignored. During their sleepovers, which occurred nearly three times a week in his room, she would always stand by as a guard, saying, “I’ll keep watch. If it appears, I will destroy it with my sword. Nothing can hurt you when I’m around.” And he would feel content, knowing she was there to protect him, even when in the end she fell asleep way before he did with her toy sword hanging loosely around her fingers.
Donghyuck would sleep next to her, curling up like a baby that he was, seeking her warmth. Their little feet would dangle out of his teepee tent and he would breathe in the scent of his grapefruit shampoo from her hair. And secretly, under his breath, as he tangled his pinky finger around hers, Donghyuck would say, “I wish we could stay like this forever.”
“Why do you always draw the sun?” Donghyuck questioned one day with his round, chocolate brown eyes scanning the giant yellow circle that she drew repeatedly with her crayon.
“Because I love the sun,” she answered, searching for another yellow crayon so she could paint it even more. “It’s bright and it’s warm, and I can play outside when it’s out. Don’t you feel happier when it’s sunny outside?”
Donghyuck thought about it, he really did with the very little experience that he had. “Probably. I can play soccer when it’s sunny.”
“See? The sun is amazing. Nothing can beat the sun. Do you know that the sun is the biggest star in our solar system?”
If he was smarter, he would've told her that of course, it's the biggest star, you idiot, it's the only star in our solar system. But little Donghyuck, who could barely remember what came after the letter S, innocently asked, “What’s a solar system?”
She sighed, shaking her head. “I forgot that you’re only four.”
“Hey, you’re only five!”
“But I know what a solar system is and you don’t.”
Donghyuck pouted. If only he was older, perhaps he could reciprocate with a better argument. But then again, she was quite smart—the smartest girl he had ever met. Well, in his whole four years of living anyway.
“You’re kinda like the sun, actually,” she suggested, gathering his attention back to her. “You have a bright smile and whenever you smile, you make me want to smile too. You’re like the sun because you always make me happy. Oh!” She suddenly jabbed one finger into the air, making him jump on his little feet. “I know! You should be called Haechan, as in Full Sun! And I’ll be calling you Haechannie because we’re friends.”
And Donghyuck smiled the way he always smiled, which made her point a finger to his face, shouting, “Yes, that’s it! That’s the smile! That’s my Haechannie!” And he liked the sound of it. He liked the way she called him Haechannie but not as much as he liked being called hers.
Because he’s always been hers, from the beginning of time till the end. It’s always been her who owns his heart, who paints a spectrum of colors to his monochromatic life, and who breaks his soul to pieces and tones everything down into black and white.
It’s always been her. No one else owns him but her.
***
It was apple green, the color of the duster his mother was wearing when she had her eyes glued to the TV screen, watching another episode of her most awaited romance series. It was way past their bedtime so Donghyuck performed his best ninja skill which was tiptoeing his way out of his room with his bunny socks enveloping his feet and his deer plush toy accompanying him in his arms.
He was five and she was six, but she had learned how to forgive when he could barely remember to send an apology after making a mistake.
“You stay here and be on guard, okay, Haechannie?” She whispered before she tiptoed her way to the kitchen, leaving him alone in the hallway.
He grabbed the sleeve of her rosy pink pajamas. “But what if my mom finds out?”
“She won’t find out. She’s busy watching TV.”
“What if she walks into the kitchen?”
“Then that’s the time you should give me a signal, Haechannieeeee. Will you ever listen to me?”
“I don’t wanna stay alone. Mom can be scary sometimes.”
“Ugh, fine, take my hand. We’ll get in together. You can help me hold my chair when I reach up to steal those cookies.”
“Can we just go back to bed? I don’t need any cookies.”
“No, no. When you have nightmares, you have to eat cookies.”
“But will you still sleep beside me?”
A delicate hand ruffled his raven hair until it got all tousled and adorable. “Of course, Haechannie.”
The moonlight did not shine as bright as the girl’s cherished smile. But it was okay, he thought, she could replace the moon with her lips. She could replenish the stars with her eyes. They did not sparkle nearly as beautiful as they were anyway.
On their way back to their room, Donghyuck heard two sentences being exchanged by the lovers inside the screen so he stopped and listened, carving every word into his memories. When he arrived back in his room, he ran toward her, circled his short little arms around her waist, and muttered the exact same words.
“There’s no life without you, Noona.”
And she didn’t question him anything, wasn’t surprised of him, wasn’t disgusted with it. She simply smiled back, turning around to embrace him properly, and whispered.
“There’s no life without you too, Haechannie.”
***
It was the color of cherry blossom pink, the petals of flowers that flown into his room, coming from the window that he just slid open. He stood up on his little wooden chair, waving his hands back and forth like a drowning man desperate for attention, as he shouted, “Noona! Wake up! They’re blooming!”
He was six and she was seven, but she had memorized how to count one to ten in three different languages when he could barely count all the planets in the solar system.
When she opened her window, her eyes were all squinted trying their best to adjust themselves to the brightness of the sun—or Donghyuck’s smile, considering it shone just as bright. “I’m still sleepy!”
“But you promised we’d go for a walk!”
“Ugh, fine! I’ll meet you outside my house in an hour. Don’t forget to wear your jacket, Haechannie, because I’m not lending mine again!”
He nodded, smiling all the way. But by an hour later, he had forgotten yet again to carry his coat with him because he was too busy remembering the look on her face whenever she called his name, and too excited to have her hold his hands during their little trip outside.
And it was fine, really, because she already brought two jackets with her, knowing him like the back of her hand.
***
It was the color of crimson, the droplets of blood that stained his shirt. He could barely breathe through his broken nose, and the pain stung so much that his eyes began to water. But knowing that she was there, sitting beside him on the side of the pavements with worried eyes observing his expression, he had no other choice but to rub his tears away before she could catch the sight of them falling to his cheeks.
He was twelve and she was thirteen, but she already had her own preferences of clothing, knowing exactly what kind of dress could accentuate her beauty, while he, on the other hand, was still pretty much wearing the exact same type of clothes like what his mother bought him two years ago.
“Are you okay?” Her eyes examined his face as she dabbed an ice-cold napkin to his bruised jaw. Donghyuck swatted her hand away, stealing the piece of cloth from her fingers so he could do it himself.
“I’m fine. I’m not a baby,” he muttered and he knew how harsh the tone he was using but he did not apologize for it. She most likely had forgiven him anyway.
“What happened exactly?” She was still tentatively reaching out to him, tidying the tousled strands of his brown hair. “Why did you get into a fight?”
“Who said I was in a fight?” He was. He absolutely was. It was against a boy with the stupidest haircut he’d ever seen on a male, in his classroom after he caught him stealing her sketchbook. Donghyuck saw him raking his pen back and forth on her drawings, grinning mischievously to himself as he did it. He didn’t stop to ask for an explanation. The second he saw her beautiful drawings get tainted by something that wasn’t made from her hands, he began to launch his fist, directly to the boy’s poor face. Donghyuck had always been more temperamental, so he fought more with his rage than his strength, which usually ended up with him getting a fair share of beating as well.
“Here.” He handed her sketchbook back and saw her widening her eyes in surprise. “That’s right, stupid. You forgot your stupid book. I was on my way back to the class to get it when I tripped down the stairs.”
“Oh, I didn’t realize I even took this out of my bag.” She blinked, checking her book and stopping after she flipped a few pages. Donghyuck froze on his seat. He’d already predicted that she would find out sooner or later that one of her pages—the one that was ruined by that asshole—was missing; he just hoped she wouldn’t notice right away. But maybe she also noticed the anxious look on his face when she went through the pages, which was why she decided to close the book, and do nothing but smile that stupidly blazing smile of hers.
“What?” He asked, already feeling quite flustered even when she hadn’t said anything yet.
“I’m just happy,” she replied, leaning in to kiss his cheek. “Thank you for, uhh, for getting this back for me.”
And he looked up to the sky, not caring if the sunlight was burning every inch of his skin and blinding his eyes, as long as she didn’t notice the rosy blush that painted his cheeks.
***
It was the color of lemon meringue, the chunk of tart that Donghyuck shoved into his mouth. They were celebrating his fourteenth birthday and he had a bunch of friends coming over. And yet, there he was sitting on the bench in his backyard, next to a girl dressed adorably in a yellow lace party dress, who was scowling at him.
“What?” Donghyuck muttered, yet plopping another big chunk of the tart. “Why do you look like you want to murder me? Is it that time of the month already?”
“No, jackass.” She rolled her eyes. “That’s my tart.”
“Sure, but,” he pierced the cake with his fork, taking another piece into his mouth with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. “It’s my birthday cake.”
She sighed—a habit that she did a lot whenever she was with him. “Why are you even here? Shouldn’t you be opening the presents right now? I think your friends are looking for you.”
“Nah, I’d rather talk to you.” He shrugged, pushing the empty plate back now to its owner. “Besides, you look like you’re seconds away from crying. I figured I can be a jerk to you another day and play the role of your prince charming for the rest of the evening.”
“You literally just ate every bit of my tart.”
“You’re welcome.” He sent her a flying kiss and a wink.
They both leaned backward, resting their spines against the bench, staring blankly at the cloudy sky with their fingers lying idly just a few inches from each other.
“Have you heard about that thing with our soulmates?” Donghyuck suddenly asked, his tongue still tracing every little bit of the sugary taste left inside his mouth. “About how we’ll begin to constantly dream about them after we turn eighteen, even if we’ve never met them before.”
“I thought that was just a rumor?”
“I thought so too, but then my parents told me that the exact same thing happened to them.”
“They met each other in their dreams?”
“No, it’s like—” Donghyuck scratched the back of his head, furrowing his eyebrows. “I don’t know for sure, but it’s like your dreams are a mixture of your soulmate’s past and present memories. My mother said that she lived through his memories every night, until one day she met my father by coincidence during the day, and then she saw herself in the dream the following night. That was when she realized that he was her soulmate.”
“This is giving me headaches, but I kinda get the idea.”
“So whose memories do you think you’re going to see in your dream?” Donghyuck wiggled his eyebrows. “Mine?”
She snorted. “You wish your soulmate was me.”
“Actually, I do,” he stated, making her froze for a split second before she looked at him in bewilderment. “No, wait, don’t get me wrong,” he immediately corrected, raising a hand in the air. “It’s not like I’m into you or anything, ‘cause that’s, like, so gross since we’re basically like siblings by now, but if it really is true—this soulmate thingy—I wouldn’t mind if it turns out to be you because we get along really well, don’t we? Being soulmates doesn’t necessarily mean we have to marry each other—eww, God, no—” He made a show about it, sticking his tongue out in disgust. “It’s more like saying we’re connected. Know each other’s mind—like, we understand each other, you know what I mean? Don’t you feel that way about me?”
She thought about it, and with every second passing by, Donghyuck became more aware of how embarrassing his lines sounded in his ears. “You know what? Forget it. It’s dumb. I don’t know why I said—”
“Well, I guess, if you put it in a non-romantic way, then yeah, sure.” She smiled, a bit awkward and shy but sincere like always. “We can be soulmates. But I will only marry you if we’re the only two people left in the world. And even then, I would still think about it.”
He rolled his eyes but inwardly thanking her for not making this even more awkward than it already was. “Right, but for our friendship’s sake, let’s never talk about this again.”
“Agreed.”
They stood by in silence, hearing a bunch of children laughing in the background as they danced to the blaring music. “So on that note,” he said again, slicing through the awkward tension. “What are you so upset about today?”
She huffed, playing with her fingers. “I don’t know, I feel like everybody’s looking at me weird. I knew I shouldn’t have worn this dress—I know it’s too much—everyone is wearing shirts and jeans and I’m here looking like—”
“—a pretty girl,” he finished, staring nonchalantly at the clouds as he said it. “I don’t know what these guys think, but you’re prettier than any girl in the room today. You’re prettier than me, even, and that’s saying something.”
She bit her lower lip, holding back a laugh. “You just turned fourteen today and suddenly you’re old enough to flirt.”
“I wasn’t flirting.”
She smiled sheepishly. “Well, thanks, I guess.”
He looked to his side, a lopsided smile on his face. “Feel better now?”
“A little.”
“Good. Now go fetch me another plate of that thing I just ate ‘cause I’m still hungry.”
***
It was the color of ruby, the lipstick she wore on her lips for the very first time, which made Donghyuck knit his eyebrows together, both in confusion and bewilderment.
He was fifteen and she was sixteen, but she already read a bunch of novels about first kisses and sappy love stories when he barely even owned a novel.
“Are you wearing make-up?” he uttered with a frown, scrunching his nose. He was sitting on the edge of her bed, his black Michael Jackson shirt falling a bit loose around his shoulders with the bottom edge of his light-blue jeans folded.
“Yes, and before you judge me for it,” she began, but Donghyuck was already sticking his tongue out at her, making the most disgusted look on his face. “You’re an ass, do you know that?”
“You look like a clown, honestly.”
“Well, this clown is going on a date.” She looked proud, which made him furrow his eyebrows even deeper. “And if she’s lucky, she’s going to get her first kiss by the end of the evening, while you, on the other hand, are just going to sit there in your room watching The Kissing Booth for God knows how many times and pretend like you’re handsome enough to date the female protagonist.”
“I am handsome enough to date the female protagonist. Handsome enough to date the male protagonist even.”
“Yeah, in your dreams. You’re just a virgin with a stupid bowl cut in reality.”
“Whatever. You still look like a clown.”
“Whatever. Now turn around, I need to change my clothes.”
“To your clown costume?”
“Turn around!”
Donghyuck had little options in his hand, when she brought her high heels in the air, ready to hurl them to his face, so he exhaled loudly in annoyance and lied down on her bed, turning his body around so he was facing the wall.
“Who’s this idiot you’re going with?” He eventually asked, because the rustling sounds of her clothes hitting the floor were getting too distracting.
“Na Jaemin. You know, that extremely cute boy from P.E Class.”
He knew who exactly Jaemin was. Heard his name being spoken several times as he walked down his school’s corridor. Girls were obsessed with him, and they would scream as if the world was ending whenever he played a game on the basketball court. They might be thinking why is someone as perfect as Jaemin interested in someone like her? And he hated the fact that he was thinking the same thing, just the other way around.
Why is someone as perfect as her interested in someone like him?
But on the outside, he toned it down to a simple grimace. “What the hell is a Na Jaemin?”
She threw her heel at him, hitting his spine and making him groan. “Hey, that hurts, you bi—” But his words died on his tongue when he saw her standing in front of her mirror in nothing but her matching underwear, with her dress threatening to fall from her arms.
“Hey!” She shrieked, squatting down to the floor and trying her best to gather as much clothing to her body to stop herself from being so exposed to his eyes. “I didn’t say you could turn around!”
And Donghyuck would’ve played it cool, he really would have, if he wasn’t too aware of the heat rising to his cheeks. “I, uhh—” He turned around again, clearing his throat. “Well, it’s your fault for throwing your shoe at me! I turned around in reflex.”
“Ugh, you’re so annoying! From now on, you wait outside!”
“Fine!” He scrambled to his feet, making sure that he didn’t spare any glance at her—no matter how badly he wanted to—as he made his way out. “You have small boobs anyway.”
She screamed his name in both shame and anger but he was walking out with a cheeky grin on his face. He waited outside her room with his hands buried deep in the pocket of his jeans, yawning as he pressed the back of his head against the wall. A moment later, she opened the door with her face down, trying to tuck her bra strap under the collar of her dress. When he called her name, she nearly jumped out of her skin. “Damn it, Haechannie, I thought you’ve left!”
“I wanted to see your clown costume.”
“Why you little—” But this time, it was her turn to be lost at words because Donghyuck was staring at her in the way he never stared at her before. His eyes were gleaming as they took in her features—her lace cocktail dress that matched the color of her lipstick, her red ankle strap heels, her natural make-up that gave prominence to her eyes, and the way all of her clothing just fell perfect on her skin, embracing her every curve.
“W-what is it?” She asked, carding her fingers nervously through her hair—her soft, beautiful hair that always made him a little bit weak whenever she tucked a loose strand behind her ear. “Do I look weird?”
He forced himself to close his gaping mouth and act nonchalant again. After nine years of training, he was beginning to master his act. “Well,” Donghyuck said, shrugging, “It’s not exactly like the clown costume I remembered it to be, but it’s okay, I guess. So now tell me where is this Halloween party you’re attending because I’m going too.”
“I can no longer tell whether you’re joking or not, honestly.” She waved him off, tightening the straps of her heels. “Look, it’s my first date with a really cute boy who I really like. Can’t you at least wish me luck?”
Donghyuck didn’t answer right away. His heart was still conflicted about the whole thing and his head was still swirling over the thoughts of how pretty she looked. “I can’t believe you’re blowing me off for something as lame as Na Jaemin.”
“Someone as lame as—wait, he’s not lame!”
“But does he know you the way I do, though? Like, does he know how loud your snores are? I know that, and I accept that.”
“Haechannie, we literally spend every weekend together for the last nine years. I’m just taking one night off.”
“Doesn’t change the fact that you’re still blowing me off.”
“Look, if it wasn’t a date, I would’ve asked you to come but since this is a date,” she stopped to smile, tapping her fingers against his cheek, “You be a good boy and wait for me at home, okay?”
As she walked out of her house, with him trailing behind her with heavy steps, Donghyuck said, “I hope his breath smells like shit when you kiss him later tonight!”
She laughed it off, raising her middle finger playfully at him, probably thinking he was upset because they didn’t spend the weekend together when he was entirely livid about something else.
He wasn’t sure how he felt towards her, but he was pretty certain that he didn’t like the fact she went out with some boy who probably wasn’t aware of her full name—or the way she would bite on her bottom lip from being too deep in concentration whenever she sketched something down, or the way she would puff out her cheeks in the most adorable way when she got teased too much. That fucking Na Jaemin wouldn’t understand her the way Donghyuck did.
So for the first time in his life, Donghyuck prayed something bad happened that night so her date would get canceled and she’d come running back into his arms, snuggling close with a popcorn bowl on their laps as they watched the same movie for the hundredth time.
Unfortunately for him, his prayer was not answered.
***
It was sapphire blue, the color of his hoodie was when he swung by to her house again, casually letting himself inside without even greeting her parents because he did it so many times within a day. It started to feel more like his house compared to hers.
“Oh,” she sneered, a smile appearing on her face. “You again.”
“What’s with the under-appreciating tone?” He clicked his tongue. “Most girls would actually scream in joy when I graced them with my presence.”
“Scream in horror, more likely.”
He ignored her banter, taking a seat on her bed again. She was lying down on her duvet, stomach pressed against the fabric with a fashion magazine under her fingers. “So,” he began, casually laying his head down on the dip of her spine, staring at the ceiling and secretly loving the feeling of knowing directly every time she took and released her breath. “Did he smell like shit when you kissed him?”
She flipped through a page. “As a matter of fact, we haven’t kissed. But that’s none of your business anyway.”
Donghyuck couldn’t help a smile creeping up his face. It was his luck that she didn’t notice. “Oh, but it is my business,” he said, trying not to sound as gleeful as he felt inside. “I really want to know whether he smells like shit or a dog's piss so I can make fun of him every time I see you.”
“Well, from the close proximity I had with him during our conversations inside the cinema, he smelled deliciously wonderful.”
“Deliciously? So he smelled like tacos?”
“Smelled way better than you, at least.”
“You’ve never kissed me so you wouldn’t know.”
“I already can tell without having to kiss you, asshole. You reek from a hundred feet away.”
“But just to be sure, wanna make-out with me for a while? I won’t bite.” Then he leaned in to whisper in her ear. “Unless that’s what you’re into.”
“Shut the fuck up.”
“AUNTIEEEEEEE, SHE’S SAYING THE F WORD!”
“SHUT UP!”
***
It was Navajo white, the color of her knitted scarf was, as it hanged loosely around her neck, matching the color of her duffle coat.
“Oh,” Donghyuck flatly said as he opened the door to his room, answering her persistent knocks. “You again.”
“Haechannie.” The way she said his name sounded like she was desperate for help, and that made his heart flutter a little bit at the thought of being needed. But the words that followed soon after, crushed every bit of his happiness within an instant. “Jaemin asked me to be his girlfriend.”
He could feel how tightly his fingers were sinking into his palms but he tried to keep his voice steady. “And you’re confused because you just found out he’s a girl?”
“What should I do?” She whined, completely ignoring his sarcastic reaction. She seemed anxious, jumping a little on her feet every now and then, which was so adorable for his eyes to take but whenever he remembered the reason why she was acting that cute, he could feel his jaws tightening again.
“Do whatever you want, it’s not my business,” he muttered, walking back to his room but leaving the door open for her to follow.
“I like him, Haechannie,” she continued, and with every word that came from her mouth, a javelin seemed to strike him even harder in the chest. “I really do, but am I ready to have a relationship? Like what do I do? I know I joke a lot about having my first kiss but now that we’re about to become official, and knowing that he’s most likely going to kiss me soon, I get so nervous.”
Donghyuck didn’t say a word. He had nothing nice to say, so he kept himself in silence.
“W-what would you do if you were me?” She sputtered. “I mean, if a girl you like asked you to be her boyfriend?”
Donghyuck had his hands hidden in the pockets of his hoodie, so she wouldn’t be able to tell when his fingers curled into balls of fists. He had the back of his hips pressed against his desk, locating his eyes on his shoes instead of hers. “This girl I like is actually talking about being someone else’s girlfriend,” he professed, “So I’m not sure I can give you proper advice.”
“Stop messing with me, Haechannie, I’m seriously begging for your help here.”
It was goddamn annoying, he thought, how she could be so dense when it came to things like this. Well, to be fair, he did have his fair share of flirting with her from time to time whether he meant his words or not, and knowing how playful he was, it’s a given that she grew to become accustomed to his teasing personality. It was nearly impossible for him to be taken seriously nowadays.
“Why are you even asking me?” He spat out, now looking at her eyes—almost glowering. “I’m not your boyfriend.”
“I don’t know, I really need someone to talk to, I guess.” She played with her hair, biting her lower lip worriedly. “And you’re my best friend so I naturally just come to you. You always seem to have the answers to everything.”
There was a pang in his heart when she singlehandedly decided on their relationship status and he knew he shouldn’t have asked for something more but with more days passing by where it was only the two of them walking side-by-side under the first snow, or calling each other’s names the first thing in the morning through their windows, Donghyuck couldn’t help but to hope for something more.
“Well, like I said,” he repeated, voice sounding low and foreign even to his own ears. “Do whatever you want. As long as it makes you happy.”
She took a proper look at his face. “Are you angry or something?”
“No.”
“What, like, did I do something wrong?”
“No.”
“Then why—”
“I said nothing’s wrong!” His voice thundered through the thick tension that was hanging between them and he felt his own heart shaking in pain from the tone he just made. They stared at each other’s eyes in what felt like hours before Donghyuck finally covered it with a tired sigh. “I’m sorry, I’m just really tired right now. Didn’t catch any sleep last night from playing too many games.”
It took a good few seconds for her to regain back her composure. “Well, I don’t want to bother you then.” She didn’t sound angry, but she did sound hurt. Donghyuck was still in the middle of sorting out his feelings when she walked out of his room, saying, “I’m sorry for pestering you like this. Goodbye, Haechannie.”
He had never hated someone as much as he hated himself then.
It took him five hours for his mind to finally make up the decision to go into her house and apologize in person, but only a second for him to immediately do it once he’d made up his mind. He ran down the stairs so fast, he almost fell face-first on the carpeted floor. When he stood in front of her house, desperately pushing back air into his lungs, the door was locked and no one came to answer no matter how many times he rang the doorbell.
Muttering a train of expletives under his breath, he turned to his iPhone and found the first number in his emergency contacts. He was about to press dial when suddenly her name popped out on his screen, asking him to answer her call.
“Noona?” Donghyuck called, breathing in relief. “Hey, I was about to call you. I wanted to apologi—”
“Haechannie.” She sounded so happy, almost to the point of shedding tears. “Haechannie, he just kissed me.”
Donghyuck’s lips were parted in shock, his throat felt like burning, even though puffs of air still tumbled down from his mouth. His heart almost stopped beating entirely.
“What do I do, Haechannie, I’m so happy,” she said, laughing between tears. “I’m actually crying right now. I’m so lame, I know, but—God, I can’t believe I got kissed by my crush—no, wait, my boyfriend—oh God, it’s still embarrassing to say that but—”
As if turning deaf, her voice in his ears was reduced into a silent murmur before vanishing entirely. The loud beating of his heart soon replaced it as it pumped more anger and jealousy through his veins but Donghyuck wasn’t going to repeat his previous mistake. He wasn’t going to let his emotions take control again.
“Well,” he breathed out, unfamiliar with the sound of his own voice. “I’m happy for you then.”
“You are? Oh, thank God, because I thought you’d whine about me for not spending time with you anymore.”
“Do you really think that lousy of me?”
“I’m kidding, Haechannie. I love you. You know that, right?”
And it hurt, the way she said it, because it meant nothing more than a platonic love and he wanted it to mean more. Perhaps he had been waiting for those three words to mean more for the last nine years of his life.
“Of course,” he simply said, hoping she wouldn’t hear the crack in his voice. “There’s no life without you, Noona.”
It took her a while to respond, and he was worried whether the cold tone in his voice stood too vividly again, but she laughed before he could think too much.
“It’s been a while since we said that. Of course, yes, there’s no life without you, Haechannie.” She giggled again, “It’s kind of embarrassing to say that when we’re already this old. Maybe we should start looking for another catchphrase. I don’t want Jaemin to catch me saying that to you either—”
“No, don’t—” Since when did speaking to her become this hard? “It’s something that we’ve been doing since we were kids. I’m not gonna change our tradition just because of one asshole that you happen to like.”
A silence, then a chuckle. “Seems like you’re back to your old self again. I was beginning to worry. All right then, let’s keep it that way. I’ll just have to be more careful.” He could tell that she was smiling all the way when she said her sentences.
“When will you be back?” I miss you. “I want to see you.” I want to hold you. “We haven’t really talked these days.”
“Oh, umm…” She sounded so apologetically soft, so quiet, so out of his reach. “Jaemin actually just asked me to go somewhere with him, but I’ll be back soon. Is there something you need?”
He curled his fingers. “Nothing important. It can wait.”
“Great. Oh, Jaemin just called, I gotta—”
“Stop saying his name.”
When a small gasp came from the other line, Donghyuck raised his head, startled by his action. “I mean,” he cleared his throat, his stomach doing somersaults. “It’s just—” He couldn’t think of anything fast enough. “You’re right. I’m sorry for taking your time.”
“Oh, no, it’s…” A pause, which struck like a hurricane. “It’s fine. I’ll see you tomorrow morning, okay?”
“Sure.” But he didn’t hold her on her promise, because she now belonged to someone else.
He just had to get used to being alone.
***
It was the color of eerie black, the denim jacket that he wore above his white shirt as he prepared himself for his date. Donghyuck had cut his hair short, ran his fingers through his bangs so they no longer covered his eyes, and sprayed the new bergamot perfume he bought around his neck.
He didn’t notice it at first, but he had become more popular in school for the past few months, after being a vocalist in a band and performing during the school festival. Girls were approaching him, asking from what class he was, wanting to know whether he wanted to hang out with them from time to time and it felt weird, although he had been quite popular back then too, it was more because he was the funny kid—not the hot kid in school.
So eventually he started going on dates, and every time he managed to spend a day with a girl, he’d come home to brag about it to his neighbor, wanting to evoke a reaction but what came out of her was only a small chuckle and a shake of her head, “What are you talking about? You’re just a boy. You know nothing about girls, let alone going on a date with one.” And he would drop the topic, fuming for the rest of the day.
“There.” He straightened his jacket, gazing at his reflection in the standing mirror. “New day, new beginning, Hyuck. You can do this.”
You can forget her and move on.
So he checked on his phone, noticing a new chat just popped up under the name of the stranger he had been seeing for two weeks, and felt his heart beating as steady as usual. Everything felt the same. Even after he’d kissed her for the first time, intertwined his fingers with hers as they walked from one cafe to another, or hearing her laugh over his words even when he didn’t try to be funny—everything felt the same. So… plain. Unexciting. And after two weeks had passed by, meeting this stranger—the girl with the auburn colored hair, crooked teeth, and waist thinner than most—began to feel like a chore.
No, you said you’d do this. You said you’d move on from her.
“Ah, Haechannie!” The way his childhood friend immediately smiled upon his presence, waving a hand back and forth as if they were long lost companions instead of neighbors, almost made him stop in his tracks. “You’re going somewhere? You look so nice!”
His resolution faltered as simple as that. Only by the sound of her voice calling his name, only by her contagious grin creeping to his face, only by simple praise that made his stomach flip most delightfully.
“What do you mean, I look nice? I always look nice.” Donghyuck was proud of himself to be able to conceal his feelings most of the time, and not actually acting like a blushing seventeen-year-old boy with the hugest crush on his childhood friend that he was.
She took her time analyzing him and for the first time in his life, he began to fidget on his feet, swallowing his breath.
“Stop staring at me, you’re making me feel weird.”
“Sorry, I just can’t believe you’re this big,” she said, her eyes sparkling in amazement. “Like, I know we’re neighbors but we’ve been busy dealing with our own things these days so I haven’t really taken a closer look at you but man, look how much you’ve grown. You’re way taller than me now.”
“Yeah, if you weren’t too busy playing tonsil hockey with that fucking Na Jaemin all the time, you would’ve noticed.”
“Indeed.” She looked amused, even proud somehow. “But I got to make-out and stuff. What have you done so far, cherry boy?”
He clenched his jaw, jealousy coursing through his veins. He tried to shove the picture of Jaemin running his hands all over her body—her perfect body—to the back of his head and he thought he did a remarkable job at it. But when he smiled, his eyes didn’t follow through.
“None of your business,” he simply said, tucking his hands inside the pockets of his jeans and walked away. “I’m going on a date. See you later.”
“You’re going on a date?!” She shrieked, eyes wide. “With who?”
“A pretty girl.”
She took a hold of his hand, stopping him from walking further. “Is this the girl you’ve been seeing for the last two weeks?”
He didn’t realize she kept count. “Yeah. What about it?”
“Nothing, I was just…” She awkwardly shrugged, her fingers hanging loosely around his arm. “Just curious, that’s all. So, like… Do you like her? What’s her name?”
It was almost possessive the way she asked the questions which on one hand, made him feel happy, hoping that she was jealous about it, but on the other hand, also pissed the hell out of him because if she was indeed jealous—if she ever felt the same way as him, even if only slightly—why did she go to Jaemin’s arms instead of his?
“Her name,” he glanced at her with lifeless eyes, “is Miss None-of-Your-Fucking-Business.”
Her smiled dropped instantly. “What is your problem? I just wanted to know—”
He knew he had the worst temper and patience in the world when it came to her, and he was not always like that before. Ever since the feelings he harbored for her grew bigger and bigger with each day passing by no matter how hard he tried to make himself fall in love with somebody else, he grew even more anxious, even less patient, and he hated the way he’d become.
But he couldn’t help it.
“Want to know what?” He asked, now facing her, circling his long fingers around her wrist and raising it in the air. “What do you want to know, exactly? It’s not just her name, is it? You want to know the things I do with her too? Want to know how I feel for her?”
Her eyes began to shake, frantically trying to understand him. “What—why are you so upset?”
“I’m not, I—” He sighed with a groan coming from the back of his throat, letting her go before he massaged his temple. I’m just so stressed out knowing how clueless you are of both your own feelings and mine. “Look, I gotta go. I’m running late.”
When he walked away, taking just about three steps ahead, she shouted. “Haechannie!”
He turned his head around, just enough to see her smiling softly at him. “This weekend,” she said, “Spend time with me this weekend. Please.”
“Noona, I—”
“I miss you.”
Just like that, she had him wrapped around her fingers again. It’s not fair. You’re not fair. You can’t keep doing this to me. But he smiled back, his gaze growing gentle, almost longing. “Then I’ll see you this weekend.”
He was in a fight he knew he’d lose every time.
***
It was coral pink, the color of the girl’s lip cream but he felt it pressed against his lips before he could see it properly. He felt his collar being tugged as his body was pushed further into her room, hasty hands pushing the jacket off his shoulders.
“You smell so good,” she said, giggling as she brought his bottom lip between her teeth. “And you look so fucking hot in this outfit.” Donghyuck hit the back of his knees against her bed and tumbled down onto her sheets, with his self-proclaimed girlfriend following shortly after.
“Wait—” he said, his eyebrows joining together in the middle from feeling both confused and uncomfortable. “What about your parents—”
“They’re not home,” she said in a rush, climbing onto his lap. “And I want you.” She tangled her lean fingers around his locks, pulling his head back to expose more of his neck. “I’ve been wanting you for so long, Hyuck,” she gasped, her mouth latching on his skin, tasting his bergamot perfume with her tongue. “And we’ve waited long enough, don’t you think?”
A little more than two weeks had passed since they first went on a date, and he really thought he could like her but whenever he closed his eyes during the kiss, his mind would start acting on its own, morphing her face to someone more familiar. Someone who could pull on his heartstrings and play with them only by the sight of her smile.
It felt wrong. All of this felt wrong. But he said he’d move on, he promised himself he would, and this was one of the ways to do it.
“You seem distracted,” she moaned softly against his ear, pressing her hips against him. “Am I boring you?”
He didn’t say a word and instead forced himself to kiss her better. He held her by the nape, angling her head to the side, and she sighed against his mouth, hooking her fingers around his silver necklace to pull him even closer.
Donghyuck was lost deep in his thoughts, and his heart just wasn’t there, but he didn’t push her away. She spread her legs and tangled them around his waist, pressing herself down until she could feel the zipper of his jeans grazing against her underwear. Donghyuck hissed under his breath, not agreeing with how his body reacted on its own and she grinned against his lips, guiding the hands he reactively laid around her waist to move further down her body.
“Touch me here,” she begged, taking his right hand and slipped it under her shirt, pushing her breast against his palm. Donghyuck let out a heavy breath as he let her tongue slipped past his lips and he closed his eyes again because that was the only way that this could all feel right to him.
Noona…
But no matter how good her touches felt on his skin, guilt was the only sensation he could feel in his heart. The more they kissed, the more he realized that she was not her, and she could never be her. He couldn’t smell the scent of strawberries from her hair. He couldn’t hear the cute giggle she made when his jokes got to her head. And no matter how they seemed physically similar—the look of her hair, the shape of her eyes, the way she dressed—he still couldn’t lie to himself and pretend she was her.
“Wait—” He pushed her gently off his lap by landing both hands on her shoulders. “Let’s stop.”
“Why?” She was upset, he could tell. “What is it?”
You’re not her. “I feel like we’re going too fast.” I don’t want you, I want her. “And what if your parents come home?” I feel sick. I need to get out of here. I need to see her.
“They won’t be home until midnight, I promise.” She had her fingers curled around his nape again. “Please, Hyuck, don’t you want me?”
She didn’t give him the chance to answer, swallowing his protest with her lips, tasting more of his mouth with her tongue. “Mmph—no—wait!” he pushed her away again, firmer this time to the point she almost toppled over. “Look, I’m not in the mood, okay?” His tone was getting harsher, which only led her to feel even more agitated.
“Why the fuck are you even here then?” She spat out, throwing her hands in the air.
Donghyuck shoved her away none too gently this time, stepping down from her bed. “I don’t fucking know,” he growled under his breath, putting his denim jacket back on. “I’m leaving.”
“What are you, gay?!” She was screaming as he stormed off, slamming her bedroom door on his way out.
***
It was the color of sunset that illuminated her face, as she sat on her porch with her knees pressed together to her chest and her spine glued to the wall. Her eyes were blank, almost lifeless as she stared into space, her previous conversation with her beloved childhood friend replaying non-stop in her head.
Does he really like her? Why didn’t he tell me anything about this? How far have they gone? Has he kissed her yet?
The heat was spreading to her cheeks at the thought of Donghyuck leaning in close, his eyes going half-lidded before he closed them entirely, his lips—his beautiful, plump lips—slightly parted in anticipation before he—
She buried her hands in her palms. What is wrong with you?! He’s practically your brother!
It wasn’t like she never thought about him as something more. She just never allowed herself to think about him that way. What they had was special—Donghyuck was special. He was her only true friend, the family that always stood by her side even when her parents didn’t. The one who noticed the simplest things about her without having to be told—like handing her a brand new sketchbook whenever she was about to run out of pages, or the way he would always take a day off school whenever she was sick in bed so he could accompany her the whole day, watching re-runs of her favorite show while munching red velvet cakes the way he knew she liked.
He was the one who could see behind her lies and excuses, and the only one who would come over to her side at any hour just to fulfill her dumb requests—even though he whined the whole time. And she knew she was special to him in some ways as well, because she was the only one who he allowed to see him cry while watching Titanic which to this day, still brought a smile to her face whenever the thought came up.
It was getting pretty distracting when puberty hit him like a truck somewhere in his first year of high school. His shoulders got broader, his jawlines became more prominent, his voice got a tad deeper, and he was getting taller and taller that she had to tilt her head upward to see his face properly during conversations. He was packing more muscles too, from all the soccer activities he did after school, turning his complexion from slightly pale into the perfect color of a sun-kissed tan. While she, on the other hand, only had two pimples appearing on her cheeks and her chest growing slightly bigger.
She adored him. To her, his existence had become such an integral part of her life that whenever she didn’t see him for a day, she would sit on her porch, counting the minutes until he walked past her house, calling her, “Noona,” with that cheeky smile on his face before he told her about his day.
That was before she dated Jaemin, though. Because after that, he became quite distant. It felt weird and slightly out of character for him to give her the cold shoulder whenever she mentioned his name, but she thought perhaps it was just a boy thing. The whole conversation about her drooling over her boyfriend was probably too boring for his ears, and Donghyuck was always straightforward with the things he wasn’t fond of so she shouldn’t have been so surprised.
Maybe he just wanted to give her the time she needed, so she could spend her days with her boyfriend—like what she was supposed to do—but she couldn’t help it that whenever Jaemin called her noona because he was also a year younger than her, the thought of Donghyuck’s teasing eyes and lopsided smiles crossed her mind.
And then the thought of him, holding another girl on his bed, his lips brushing against hers—
Ah, she mentally groaned, attempting to massage her scalp but ended up yanking on the roots of her hair. Lee Donghyuck, what am I supposed to do with these thoughts of you?
“You look like you’re going insane, honestly.”
She’d recognize that voice in a heartbeat even if she had her eyes closed and when she saw him slouching over her fence with a teasing smile painted on his lips, she nearly crumbled to the ground.
“Were you waiting for me, Noona?” He questioned with his eyebrow raised in a teasing manner, causing her to blush even harder.
“Of course not, idiot, why would I?” And the sound of his small chuckle warmed her heart. “You’re coming back pretty early. I thought you were going to spend the night with her.”
“Yeah?” He dragged open the fence, walking closer to her spot. “You were thinking about me spending a night at her place? Doing what, exactly?”
“Shut up.” She threw her sandal at him which he easily dodged before he took a seat beside her. “Did something happen on your date?”
“We had sex.”
She wasn’t sure whether it was because of the way he just casually said the words as if he was talking about the weather, or simply because he said those words at all, but she found herself frozen to her toes, her heart dropping into a bottomless pit, her chest suffocating.
“O-oh…” She gulped, bringing her eyes down to her fingers. “That’s great… I guess.”
“It was great,” he said, leaning back to press his spine against the wall as well. “But her parents came home soon after so I had to bail.”
He was still talking but she could no longer hear him, as if he was drowning in the background, his voice turning into whispers.
There was a feeling she couldn’t understand that kept appearing in her chest, sending fire to her fingertips. It felt like he was crushing her heart little by little with every word he said, choking her until she couldn’t breathe. She never felt like this before. Was it sadness that she felt—knowing that her little Haechannie was not her little Haechannie anymore? Or was it loneliness, knowing that he had someone else in his life—someone who could feel his touches, and made him feel theirs, in the way she could never do?
“Noona.”
She blinked herself awake. “What?”
“You’ve been quiet for a while.”
“I was just…” She desperately sought an answer. “I’m sleepy.”
It was a terrible lie and he could tell, but he didn’t say anything. Instead, he offered her his shoulder. “Come here, then.” And she obliged, lying her cold cheek against his warmth and for the first time in her life, she began to be more conscious of everything.
Of his intoxicating scent. Of his slow breathing. Of his velvety voice sounding dangerously close to her ear.
Of his presence, entirely.
“So,” he pressed the side of his head against hers, voice turning gentle and quiet. “You’re not playing tonsil hockey with your stupid boyfriend today?”
“He had something to do, like a group project or something. And it’s fine, I needed some time alone to sort out my—” feelings. “—thoughts anyway.”
Donghyuck snorted. “Thoughts? Like, plural? You with that one brain cell of yours?”
She poked him on the side of his abs, forcing him to laugh in the way he usually did in the past. “All jokes aside though, Noona.” He sighed, staring at the way their hands were lying side by side on the wooden parquet. If only he could just move slightly… “Are you happy with him?” was the question he asked, but he actually wanted to hear the answer to Are you happier with him compared to when you’re with me?
“I think I am,” she said, and he could hear the smile in her words which ironically sparks pain to his every nerve. “I mean, it’s my first time being in a relationship so I barely know anything at this point, but… He does make me feel something in a way that no one has ever made me feel before.”
“What, like, horny?”
“That too, but—” She huffed. “I don’t know, like, he makes me feel wanted. Desired. He makes me feel pretty and I feel like I’m more confident now as a person, knowing that there’s someone out there who wants me that way, you know?”
Donghyuck stared into space, his tongue felt heavy in his mouth. “But does he need you, though?” Does he need you like I do?
“Is there a difference?”
“Well, wanting you would be like he wants to hold hands with you, kiss you, touch you, be intimate with you or something but you can be replaceable as soon as he’s satisfied with you and starts wanting someone else.”
“I don’t think Jaemin is the kind of person who thinks like that.”
I don’t fucking care about Jaemin. “Yeah, I hope not. I don’t ever want you to have your heart broken.”
There was a silence that hung around them, and it started to make him feel flustered at his own words so he immediately added, “By anyone else but me. The only one who can mess with your head and your stupid heart is me. That’s like the reason for my existence—to make sure your life is a living hell.”
She smiled, taking his hand in hers, and squeezed him softly. “Yeah. You’ve always been my little devil after all.”
The word ‘my’ had a nice ring to his ears, enveloping his heart in a warming sensation, and Donghyuck blushed again, for an entirely different reason but as long as she didn’t notice, he would be fine.
***
It was ash grey, the color of his sweater that she borrowed to be worn as her sleeping attire during their sleepover at his house. It felt strange for two young adults in their primal stage of life to be sharing a room, but Donghyuck was more than pleased to offer her his bed while he slept on the floor, and his parents also didn’t mind, as long as they kept their bedroom door open.
“Final chance to back down, Noona, because I’m not stopping once we go all the way,” Donghyuck warned, suggestively raising his eyebrow, making her gulp nervously.
“I-I’m ready,” she said, nodding her head shakily a few times.
“You sure.”
“Just do it.”
“Well then, here we go.”
And as he clicked play, the movie started. It felt like it had been years since the last time they watched a movie together, sitting side by side on a carpeted floor, with a popcorn bowl on her lap, and a MacBook on his. They shared earphones, forcing them to sit as close as possible to avoid having them slipped out of their ears. Horror movies were her weakness so he always insisted to watch one of them to torture her—and also to see her cute reactions but Donghyuck scratched that off his mind—and somehow, she always ended up agreeing to it.
Donghyuck could watch every jumpscare in the movie without batting an eyelash, but his heart jumped every time whenever she clung on to him, her arms wrapping tightly against his, her head sinking at the crook of his neck, her frantic breath fanning his skin.
“What are you so scared about?” He asked, thanking God that he didn’t stutter. “It’s just a ghost of his dead girlfriend, haunting him for vengeance while singing a creepy tune as she does it.”
“Literally everything you just said!” She sobbed, her fingers clutching tightly to the fabric of his shirt, her fingernails nearly scratching his skin.
Donghyuck knew he was blushing and he hated it, and if she kept doing that, who knew what he’d become. “Let’s just stop then.”
“But you want to see this movie, don’t you—AAAH!”
His ears began to ring. “Not with you screaming like this!”
“It’s okay, I can handle this.” She puffed out her chest, taking a deep breath. “But can I hold your hand, just in case?”
It was his turn to take a deep breath. “Sure.”
It was scary, Donghyuck thought, how his mind could pay no attention whatsoever to what was showing on the screen, and instead focusing every nerve in his body on the sight of her fingers resting on top of his, squeezing them tightly whenever she was scared out of her mind.
There was a knot in his stomach, making him feel lightheaded and he tried to push the thought of lifting her fingertips to his lips and kiss them until she could think about nothing but him away from his mind.
By the end of the movie, he knew nothing about the storyline but she was bawling her eyes out. “I can’t believe I’m crying over a ghost’s background story, this is so stupid,” she said, sobbing fervently until her entire shoulders began to shake.
Donghyuck lifted one knee to his chest, laying his arms on top of it before he rested his cheek on them, He gazed at her with a pair of longing eyes, gleaming in adoration. “You’re so cute,” he sighed in a breathy voice.
Still rubbing the tears out of her eyes, she asked, “What?”
“The way you get so worked up over stupid things like this is just—cute. You’re so cute.”
“Stop it.”
“Stop what?”
“Stop saying those kinds of things to me. You already have a girlfriend. It’s not right to do this to her, even if you’re just joking around.”
Maybe it was because she seemed a bit hurt, her voice sounding strained and plaintive, or maybe it was just her line entirely but whatever it was, it made his skin crawl and he could no longer control what came out of his mouth.
“What if I didn’t have a girlfriend then?” He questioned, eyes deadly serious. “What if I wasn’t just flirting with you? What would you do if I told you I meant everything I said, every praise, every feeling I had for you?”
Her hands froze mid-air as she tried to wipe the rest of her tears away from her eyes. “What are you—”
“What would you do if I told you I loved you?” He leaned closer, brushing his fingertips against her tear-stained cheek. “Would you believe me if I say I’ve been in love with you ever since I met you?”
Silence struck like a hurricane, and there was a storm swirling in her chest. “I…” Her throats felt dry. “I, uhh…”
She looked so conflicted that it began to hurt him even when she didn’t intend to, because Donghyuck wanted her to immediately say, “I would’ve said the same thing,” straight to his face without having to trip on her words. Without her voice sounding so brittle. Without her face looking like she was about to break someone’s heart.
So he simply got up to his feet, forcing a train of laughter to erupt from his mouth. “I’m just messing with you, idiot. Stop looking at me like you got your panties in a twist, I was just kidding.”
And he expected her to be angry. Angry enough that she would shout while throwing things at his face, but instead, she broke down in tears again but smiling so widely in relief.
“I’m so glad,” she said, nearly choking on her tears. “I’m so glad you were just joking.”
He knew he wouldn’t be able to hide the pain that fleeted on his eyes, so he turned around, sinking his nails deep into his palm so he could focus on that pain instead of the one in his heart before he gathered his quilt with both arms. “Let’s just go to bed, it’s late.”
“You’re sleeping on the floor again?”
“What do you think?”
“But…” She nibbled on her lower lip. “It’s, umm, I don’t mind if we sleep together—I mean, on the bed, like, side-by-side, not—” She caught herself, shaking her head. “Anyway, it’s big enough for both of us anyway, and also…” She grew quiet, fiddling with her fingers. “I’m still so scared right now so if you could just, you know, sleep right next to me, that would calm me down a lot, I think…”
Donghyuck had his tongue poking the inside of his cheek, glaring at his ceiling, asking his Lord, why must you test me like this?
“You do know that your boyfriend would kill me if he knows I’m doing this with you, right?”
She winced, smiling sheepishly. “Can’t you just keep it a secret?”
He sighed, making sure that he had the expression that said I’m-so-done-with-all-your-bratty-requests when deep down inside, he was shaking in both excitement and fear of not being able to hold himself back.
“I’m a man too, you know,” Donghyuck grumbled, slipping himself underneath the comforter. He didn’t take off his shirt this time, unlike the other nights when he slept alone. “I could attack you in your sleep.”
“Isn’t that the very reason why we’re keeping the door open?” She giggled, though the tremble from her previous breakdown was still there. “This is actually rather exciting. It’s been years since we slept side-by-side like this. It reminds me of our good old days.”
“Yeah?” He jeered. “Remember what else we do in our good old days? We take baths together.”
“Just shut up and go to sleep.”
Donghyuck slept on his side, facing the other side of the wall while she laid on the bed with her spine pressed against the sheets and her eyes glued to his ceilings. Though she was the one who said those words, it took her forever to fall asleep. “Haechannie?”
“What?”
“You’re still awake?”
“No, this is his voicemail speaking.”
“If you’re too tired to talk, could you sing me a song or something? It’s too quiet and I can’t help remembering that creepy tune she sang every time she showed up.”
“My God, what are you, a kid?”
“You forced me to watch that, so take responsibility for it!”
“Ugh, fine,” he groaned, turning to his back with his eyes locked on his ceilings and then started to hum. She listened to it wholeheartedly, a smile popping up on her face but it didn’t stay long before she realized something.
“Are you singing the theme to Mario Bros?”
“If you even begin to complain, I’m going to kick you off the bed.”
“Right, okay, continue then.”
She listened again, prepared for the same tune, but he changed it at the last second. “I can’t believe you changed it to Spongebob’s now.”
“Jesus fucking Christ, just go to sleep!”
“Okay, geez!” Her smile became permanent on her face. “You just said the F word. Mommy’s gonna be pissed at you tomorrow.”
It ended up with them throwing playful punches and kicks under the duvet and Donghyuck laughed a lot, missing and loving every second of it because this was how they used to be—playing around like kids, messing with each other’s hair and faces. At one point, he began to hover over her, trapping her body between his arms, his knee placed on the small space between her thighs. The pendant of his silver necklace was grazing along her collar bone, making her shiver slightly from the cold.
She was sweating, her bangs sticking to her temple, and she was as breathless as he was, panting for air. It felt like time began to slow for Donghyuck the second his eyes were locked on hers, his surroundings vanishing into a blur. He was so close, too close, that he could feel her breath on his lips, could almost taste the scent of her shampoo on his tongue, and if he could just lean in…
The sound of his name tumbling down her lips in a soft, almost inaudible manner was what stopped him from pressing his lips against hers, and he was thankful because otherwise, he could’ve done it, and then everything would be ruined.
He couldn’t afford that to happen.
“Your breath stinks,” he said instead and pecked her quickly on her forehead. He immediately scrambled to his other side of the bed, shouting, “Go to sleep, you idiot,” as he gave his best effort to pretend he was sleeping.
You were so close, Donghyuck thought, you almost ruined everything. Pull yourself together.
And if I can’t have her, just let me have this moment for the rest of my life.
***
It was the color of ivory, her trench coat was as she wrapped it harshly around her body, all the while fuming in anger. Her phone was buzzing non-stop, alerting her to the new messages that arrived almost at the same time and she knew exactly who they were from.
I still can’t believe you’re choosing him over me to celebrate your birthday. - Haechannie, 09.10
We do this every year, Noona, we PROMISED to always celebrate our birthdays together. - Haechannie, 09.10
And now that you have Na fucking Jaemin giving you sloppy blowjobs as your birthday gift, you suddenly just forget about me?! How fucking ridiculous is that?! - Haechannie, 09.11
Does he even know it’s your birthday today? Did he congratulate you on it like I did? Showing up at your door at midnight, carrying the world’s most gigantic alpaca doll in my arms when it was fucking freezing outside?! Because I sure as hell didn’t see his stupid donkey face! - Haechannie, 09.12
Also, not trying to be an ass about this, but do you even know how hard it is to find a one-meter tall Alpaca doll?! Why can’t you just like teddy bears like everyone else for fuck’s sake. - Haechannie, 09.13
“Oh my God,” she groaned loudly to the air, almost stomping her feet in fury as she texted back, “I’m not ditching you, you selfish idiot! I’ll be back before dinner and then we can spend the rest of the day together so for once in your life, stop sounding like a fucking asshole!” She paused, thinking more words to add before she jabbed her thumbs to her phone screen again. “Also, I didn’t ask you to get me anything so you can take that stupid ugly doll back if you’re going to be a bitch about it because I don’t need it!”
And she pressed send. But before she could catch her breath, another response came by.
Great. Do me a favor, will ya? Don’t show up at dinner. I’m not your fucking backup plan. - Haechannie, 09.15
She was so close to smashing her phone against the wall, but the text coming from her boyfriend, telling her that he was waiting for her downstairs, made her heaved the heaviest sigh she’d ever made, shoved her phone into her purse, and stepped down the stairs with angry clicks of her heels.
The entire birthday date was a disaster for her because Jaemin was discussing something important but she couldn’t decipher a word he said. The look on Donghyuck’s face when she said she had promised Jaemin she’d go on a date with him on her birthday—how shocked and disappointed he was, not to mention furious—was the only thing that she could focus on. She kept replaying it over and over again in her head, until Jaemin took her hand and called, “Noona? Did you hear what I just said?”
And she was so terribly upset that she began to lose control of her mouth. “Don’t call me that. I have someone back home who calls me that a lot and it’s getting annoying.”
“O…kay,” Jaemin awkwardly said, pulling his hand away from hers. “I was just trying to be respectful.”
She threw her head back, sighing loudly in exasperation. “You’re right, sorry. I didn’t mean to take this out on you.” She took a deep breath, waited until she calmed down a little bit before she continued again. “I just had this fight with someone and it keeps bugging me.”
“Let me guess. Is it Lee Donghyuck again?”
She raised her head in surprise, looking at him. “What do you mean again?”
“He’s all you’ve been thinking about, for as long as I remember.”
“Yeah, because he’s like a little brother to me who annoys the hell out of me.” She rubbed her temple, feeling her energy drained. “Well, he’s not actually my brother, but he acts like one—he gets on my nerves, teases me a lot, calls me stupid all the time—”
“Why do I get the feeling that he’s more than just a little brother to you?”
She frowned. “What do you mean? You’re not listening to me—”
“Look, you know what?” Jaemin ran a hand through his hair. “I think it’s best to end this.”
“What?” She nearly dislocated her jaw. “What are you even saying—are you breaking up with me?”
“Well, you’re going to graduate soon and you told me once that you’d probably leave town for college, and with all this Donghyuck thing going on…” Jaemin sighed. “I just don’t see how this is going to work.”
***
It was the color of dark grey, the heavy clouds that hovered above the earth with thunders flashing between them. She stood in front of Donghyuck’s door, fingertips shivering slightly from the cold as she rang his doorbell. The boy came to answer shortly after, his usual gaze quickly turning into a menacing glare at the sight of her. He was about to rave over their previous fight when he noticed how she was all drenched from the rain with tears streaming down her face. She glanced up at him, murmuring his name between sobs, and Donghyuck hastily gathered her in his arms, not caring one bit how the rain seeped almost instantly to the grey Nirvana shirt he was wearing.
“Are you okay?” He attentively asked, cupping her cheek with his lean fingers. He lifted her face, examining every detail of her features, making sure she wasn’t hurt in the slightest. “Did something happen?” His voice suddenly turned gravelly. “Did he do this to you?”
She sniffled, burying her face in his chest. “Jaemin broke up with me.”
“On your fucking birthday?!”
She nodded.
“I’m gonna fucking kill him,” Donghyuck said, almost growling as he embraced her tighter. “I’m gonna keep you company today and make sure you’re okay first, and then I’m going to kill him.”
There was no need for apologies to be exchanged, because Donghyuck already had his arms around her, drying her hair with a towel and lending her his sweater that he knew she loved. His parents weren’t home at the time, so they sat on the kitchen counters, legs dangling a few inches above the porcelain floor with a cup of hot coffee in their hands.
“This is the worst birthday in the history of mankind,” she said, slurping her coffee. “Tell me I’m wrong.”
“Well, there was actually this girl who got murdered on her birthday—”
“Just humor me, will you?” He chuckled and patted her hair. “But to be fair, I don’t think he’s aware it’s my birthday today. He hasn’t said anything, didn’t give me anything. I also never told him, and he…Well, he never asked.”
“And yet, you still went out with him.” He sighed, now tucking a loose strand of her hair to the back of her ear. “I know you’re an idiot, but I didn’t think you were this much of an idiot.”
She grew smaller. “Please be mean to me another day. I’m currently wounded.”
“Right, okay, come here.” He cradled her in his arms, placing his chin on top of her head. “You smell like a wet dog, by the way.”
“Thanks.” She was about to lean more to his touch when his phone began to ring.
“Aren’t you going to answer that?” She questioned when he did nothing about it and when he kept quiet, she broke apart from his embrace, jumped down, and grabbed his phone from the table.
“Unknown number,” she mumbled when his ringtone stopped playing. “Wait, there’s a text.”
“Don’t read it.”
“It said aren’t you coming over.” She raised her eyebrows in question. “Is this your girlfriend?”
He yawned. “A different one.”
“What, that fast? Were you supposed to meet her? Oh my God, I’m so sorry for taking your time, why aren’t you—”
“Rather than saying that,” he took a sip of his coffee, “We should begin our revenge plan on that stupid ex of yours. I mean, I could just straight-up punch him in the face, but you already know his weakness. It’s time to strike, baby.”
She blinked, her puffy eyes soon began to gleam mischievously. “I’ve already planned it all out. Do you wanna hear it in alphabetical order?”
***
It was the color of burgundy, the quilt that covered her body when she suddenly woke up from her dream with a jolt, surprising the man who slept on the floor next to the foot of her bed.
“What happened?” Donghyuck asked, rubbing his eyes away from sleep. “Nightmare?”
Her eyes were wide when she looked back at him, gulping hard before she said, “I just had the dream.”
“What dream?”
“The dream, Hyuck.”
“Wet dream? I thought that was only for boys—”
“No, you’re not listening to me. The dream.” She threw her blanket away, scrambling back to her feet, and kneeled in front of him, taking his hand in hers. “I just met my soulmate.”
Donghyuck almost shuddered. “What?”
“It’s true, Haechannie, it wasn’t just a rumor,” she said, looking at her trembling fingers. “They said the dreams would start sometime after we turned eighteen and I saw it. I saw him. And it felt so weird. It wasn’t like a dream, it was—” Realization befell her eyes. “A memory. You were right, it was a memory—his memory.”
“Okay, wait a sec.” He held up a finger in the air. “What exactly did you see? And talk like a normal person this time.”
She nibbled on her lower lip, deep in her thoughts. “So, you know how when you’re dreaming, you can’t tell if it’s a dream? Like you’re suddenly somewhere, doing something that you can’t remember the beginning of it but it felt normal so you kept doing that, until suddenly you wake up and you start noticing how weird it really was.” Donghyuck nodded, albeit still a little unsure. “Well, this isn’t anything like that. You’re completely aware that it’s a dream—at least, I was. I remember telling myself it was a dream but now I realized it was a memory.”
“My God, you’re taking too long,” he complained. “What exactly did you see? For fuck’s sake, just tell me!”
“I was in a classroom at some school that I’ve never seen before and there was this guy who looked just about my age, sitting on the last row—just right by the window. He had the softest hair, a pair of big, beautiful doe eyes, cute thin lips, broad shoulders—”
“Hold up.” He grimaced. “You’re not talking about me, are you?”
“One of these days, Lee Donghyuck, I’m going to strangle you in your sleep, I swear to God, I will.”
“Right, apparently not then. Please, continue.”
She took another two seconds to throw ice daggers at him with her eyes before she finally started again. “He was scribbling something down on his book. And I tried to talk to him, but he couldn’t hear me. I could hear him, though, and everything else that was going on in the classroom. I could hear him hum a song before he nodded his head, looking like he just figured something out, and then he was writing things down again. I tried to reach out to him, but I couldn’t physically touch him too. I was just a bystander that saw everything—like watching a movie or something.”
“A completely boring movie, if you ask me.”
She rolled her eyes, completely ignoring him. “Then, when I blinked my eyes, I was standing somewhere else. There was this lake, so beautiful, surrounded by mountains—like the entire scenery of it was just breathtaking, and I don’t think that’s in our country so he might have traveled somewhere overseas.”
He snorted. “Sounds like an annoying rich kid.”
“Can you just—” She sighed, calming herself down. “So, I saw him there with a camera in his hands and a guitar case strapped to his back. He was taking some shots of the landscape and, uhh,” she shyly chuckled, “I know it’s too fast for me to say this, but his face when he’s concentrating—“
“Constipating?”
“Concentrating,” she corrected and Donghyuck sent her a kissy face. “The face he made when he was concentrating was so cute.”
“Ugh, enough with the lame commentary.” He yawned, stretching his arms above his head. “Why are you so sure he’s your soulmate? Sounds like just another weird-ass dream to me.”
“I can’t really explain it, but…” Her eyes turned soft, cheeks going a bit rosy. “It feels like I just found something that I didn’t know I lost—something important, something that was a part of me, even. And it just makes me feel whole, you know? It’s weird saying this when I don’t even know his name but… That’s just how I feel. Everything just clicked.”
“Huh…” Donghyuck’s tongue was protruding against the inside of his mouth as he tried to process his thoughts. It suddenly felt like his heart was being cut into several pieces, the moment his reality sank in. He didn’t realize it was that serious. Or at least, he didn’t want it to be that serious.
She squeezed his hand. “You understand how I feel, don’t you, Haechannie?”
He sent her a timid smile before he pulled her body into him, pressing his chest against hers, leaning down to rest his chin on her shoulder. “Yeah,” he muttered softly, his lips grazing the fabric of her sweater. “I get it.” And she giggled, embracing him tighter, thinking that maybe he was just as happy as her.
She didn’t notice the way his fingers slowly curled against the back of her sweater. She didn’t notice how he deliberately pressed his lips against her clothed shoulder as he spoke so he could hide the shivers in his voice. And she didn’t notice how his eyes were shaking in the fear of losing her, how he could barely bear the pain in his chest, how his mind almost made him vomit the words he’d been dreading.
It’s okay. She hasn’t met him yet. Maybe it’s just a dream. It doesn’t mean anything.
God, please don’t let it mean anything.
***
It was a shade of purple, the color she used to paint a lavender in her sketchbook before she drew the rest of the landscape. But before she could finish painting the next thing, she sighed dreamily into the air, closing her drawing book with both hands.
“He’s in a band,” she said as they laid side-by-side on the grass, enjoying the warm sunlight on their faces and the scent of the pine trees in the garden near their homes. “Was. Or still is, I’m not sure.”
And she laughed, she always did whenever she talked about him and although the sound of it used to warm his heart, it made him struggle even more with jealousy. So he just hummed, scrolling down his Instagram feeds to distract him.
Three months had passed by ever since she had that dream, and Donghyuck was conflicted between wanting to know more or hearing none of it for the rest of his life. She had the dream every single night, reliving every single one of her soulmate’s memory—both past and present—every time she closed her eyes, and to him, she seemed more alive when she was about to go to bed, rather than after she woke up.
“I heard him sing once during his band practice when his vocalist had a sore throat. He sounded great but like, a bit hesitant, you know? Like he’s not confident with his voice.” She turned around to her stomach, staring at him with excitement in her eyes and a speck of scarlet painting her cheeks. “Well, he doesn’t sound anything like you, but I still think he’s great.”
“Good to know,” he coldly replied. She seemed to take notice of that.
“I’m sorry, Haechannie,” she said, “I must have bored you to death with all this soulmate talk.”
“Yeah, well, he’s your soulmate, not mine, so I couldn’t care any less.” He could’ve been nicer about it, but then again that wouldn’t be him.
“Well, guess what?” She landed half of her body on his stomach, knocking some of his breath with her weight but he just threw a glare in response and not pushing her away. “Somebody is having his eighteenth birthday in a month. So then, we’ll have your soulmate to talk about too.”
“Yaaay,” he weakly cheered, face flat and ignorant.
She pouted. “Why aren’t you excited about this? You’re gonna be dreaming about your soulmate! I’m excited to know who’s that lucky girl going to be.”
His chest felt heavy and it had nothing to do with the girl on top of him. “Yeah, I guess so.”
“I hope she’s nice and pretty,” she said, smiling genuinely at him. “Because only the most perfect girl in this entire universe can deserve my Haechannie.”
But he didn’t want a perfect girl. He just wanted her, so why was it so impossible to ask?
“Wish I could wish the same for you,” he said, placing his phone on his chest and leaned back on his elbows so he could focus his gaze on hers.
“What do you mean?”
And he switched their positions, rolling their bodies on the grass until she had her spine pressed against the ground with him hovering above her. “H-Haechannie?”
She looked so perfect like this—trapped between his arms, her doe eyes widening in surprise, taking in his sight, her lips parted making a soft gasp of his name.
Ah, I want to make her mine. Why can’t she be mine?
He leaned down, the tip of his nose almost brushing against hers. And if he could just forget everything—their friendship, her future life with her soulmate—for a few seconds and allow himself to be selfish, he would close the gap, meeting her lips with his, bask himself in her warmth, and he would let her moan against his mouth, would caress her cheeks with his fingertips, and would just wish the time to stop so they could repeat that for eternity.
But this reality of his was not that.
This reality of his felt more like a nightmare—one that he could never wake up from.
So in this reality, he brought his lips dangerously close to her ear, and whispered, “I hope your soulmate picks his nose and eats his booger whenever you’re not looking because only then he’d be perfect for you.”
And before she could kick his abs in response, he already scrambled back to his feet, running away as if his life depended on it.
***
It was the color of cerulean blue, the scarf that Donghyuck wore around his neck because he was a bit sensitive to cold even when spring was about to come to an end.
“Let’s go somewhere,” Donghyuck said, adrenaline rushing through his veins. “Anywhere. Just you and me.”
“What, now?” She frowned, looking at the clock on her bedroom wall. It was two hours before midnight—before he turned eighteen. “But it’s late—”
“I don’t care—”
“And it’s freezing outside—”
“I’ll keep you warm.” He was already tugging on her hand, pulling her up to her feet. He wrapped his scarf around her neck and placed his beanie on her head. “I don’t have my gloves but I’ll hold your hand all the way, so no more excuses and let’s go.”
Because it might be his last chance to spend his time with nothing but her presence filling his thoughts. He dreaded the possibility of having that dream sometime after the clock struck twelve. He didn’t want his heart to be taken by someone else—let alone, a stranger. And he knew he wouldn’t dream about her because she had found her soulmate and he was not him.
And if it was true—if having that dream changed his entire perspective where he could only love that one girl for the rest of his life then…
Just let me have this moment with her, where I can still love her with all my heart, even if she doesn’t love me the same way.
“Where are we going?” She demanded as they broke past the front door as quietly as they could since her parents were sleeping in their room.
“I don’t know—I don’t care—I just—” He breathed into the night air, puffs of warm breath painting the space between them. “Anywhere is fine. I just want to be with you.”
He saw her cheeks turning scarlet but he didn’t hope for too much. It was probably just the cold playing tricks on him.
“Okay, well then,” She tightened her duffle coat around her body. “Lead the way.”
He smiled, feeling blessed for having her putting so much faith in him, even after all this time.
There weren’t many places open at that hour, and it was fine because they already felt content just from walking side-by-side under the cherry blossoms that had withered all of their flowers. The way she held his hand reminded him of their younger days, both gentle and somewhat protective—like a sister to a younger brother and it made him feel both joy and sadness because he wanted to intertwine their fingers together as lovers, embrace each other under the dim glow of the streetlight, and connect their lips together while whispering loving words between chaste kisses.
“Haechannie,” she said, snapping him out of his reverie as she stopped them both in their tracks. “Happy birthday.”
Donghyuck blinked, not realizing how two hours just passed in an instant. “I’m as old as you, already?” He sneered. “I feel so gross.”
But she didn’t laugh the way he thought she would. Instead, she was looking at him with a glint of loneliness in her eyes which made him wonder why. “I bought you something.” She rummaged her coat’s pocket before she showed a little black box the size of her palm with a red bow wrapped around it.
Donghyuck faked a gasp. “No way, you’re proposing to me? But honey, I’m already carrying your child!”
She stomped her feet on his. “Shut up and just be serious for a sec, will ya?”
“Okay, okay, I’m sorry.” He chuckled but he could hear how nervous he actually was from the little crack in his voice. He took the little present with a shy, slightly awkward smile. “Can I open it now?”
“Sure, as long as you don’t mock me for it.”
He furrowed his eyebrows at her before he opened the box to find a silver oval locket necklace displayed inside it. He glanced at her. “Don’t tell me you have a picture of us taking our bath together as babies in it.”
“Interesting, but no. I did have something written on it, though.”
“Okay, but if you wrote something stupid, I will—” He froze, hands stopping mid-air after he opened the locket and read the words engraved on the silver plate.
To my first love, Lee Donghyuck.
“Okay, before you say anything,” she cut him off, fidgeting a little on her feet. “Let me explain about it first. I don’t want to come out as weird or anything because after this, we’re both going to find our soulmates and go our separate ways so let me assure you that I’m not saying I love you that way, but—”
He pulled her into his chest, wrapping both of his arms around her shoulders, his lips pressing against her hair.
“Haechannie—”
“Shut up,” he said, closing his eyes as he calmed his racing heart. “Just shut up and let me have this moment.”
She wasn’t sure whether he got her previous message but she no longer cared, because at the end of the day, he was her first love in every way—as a family, a brother, a friend, and even a lover once, though she never allowed herself to think about him like that. So she tangled her arms around his waist, burying her face in his chest, and closed her eyes for as long as he would let her.
Donghyuck wanted this moment to last forever but he knew time was running out even if he tried to stand still. It would be over the second he had that dream and fell in love with someone else. It would end the day she’d meet her soulmate, treating his existence merely as a bystander in her love story.
But for now… Just for now…
“I love you,” Donghyuck whispered so softly against her hair, almost inaudible by the sound of the wind passing through their ears. “I love you, Noona. So much that it hurts.”
She chuckled, embracing him tighter. “I love you too, Haechannie.”
Then why does this feel like a goodbye?
He pulled back, pressing his temple against hers. “There’s no life without you,” he said, a shy smile forming on his lips.
She cupped his cheek, rubbing comforting circles on his skin. “There’s no life without you, Haechannie.”
***
“So, umm, thanks for today,” Donghyuck said, as he walked her back to her house, rubbing his nape awkwardly as he said it. “And thanks for the gift. I’ll treasure it.”
“You better.” She playfully punched his arm. “It was pretty expensive, just so you know.”
“More expensive than a one-meter tall made-by-order alpaca doll I bought you?”
“Sorry, I’ll take that back.” She winced, and Donghyuck chuckled a little bit under his breath, patting her head and letting his fingers linger a little longer than usual on the soft strands of her hair.
“Well…” He retracted his hand, placing them in his coat’s pocket. “Good night.”
“See you tomorrow.” And she leaned in to kiss him on the cheek at the same time he was about to do the same and their lips grazed each other, soft lips meeting softer ones in the faintest of touch but carved something deep both in their bodies and minds.
They both took a step back at the same time, startled. He was busy looking anywhere but her face, and she concealed her lips with her fingers, bringing her head down to hide her eyes underneath her bangs.
There was a silence that made his skin crawl. “S-sorry, I was—”
“No, it’s okay, I get it,” she immediately said, forcing a smile before she hastily turned on her heels, her shaky fingers searching for her doorknob. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”
Donghyuck still had trouble breathing. “Y-yeah, sure.”
She timidly smiled again before she stepped inside and closed the door behind her.
Now that they were both out of each other’s sight, Donghyuck inaudibly cursed into the air, running a hand through his hair, feeling his heart ramming against his ribcages while she slid down to the floor, hugging her knees to her chest and pressed her spine against the back of her front door.
The thought of their brief, accidental kiss was the only thing that painted their minds even behind their closed eyelids as they laid on their beds, hoping for exhaustion to take over their bodies. Once it did, they both fall into a soundless sleep where she began to think about another pair of lips but it wasn’t the case for Donghyuck.
Because, as he fell into his first soulmate dream, he was facing the same person—the girl who owned his heart, whose lips were just as soft as he’d imagined them to be.
Noona, he spoke inside the dream, staring at the sight of her, why am I dreaming about you?
***
#haechan#lee donghyuck#nct#Haechan nct#nct127#nct 127#nct dream#haechan fluff#haechan smut#haechan imagines#haechan scenarios#haechan fic#haechan fanfic#nct fanfic#nct imagines#nct scenarios#nct smut#nct fluff#haechan blurbs#haechan drabbles#nct timestamps#haechan timestamps#donghyuck#haechan x reader#mine#sundaysundaes
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(I wrote this while very tired so it won’t be the best but the fanfic fingers don’t stop for anyone so I wrote some very cute rz Michael Myers and baby june fanfic after reading some fluffy fanfics of him)
Sunny Days (rz Michael Myers and June Marie Heisenberg-Myers)
TW: none. Nothing but sheer adorableness, proceed with caution ⚠️
The sun beamed down on Michael’s face. His long, unkempt, blond hair shining in the bright light as he waited outside of Westfield Elementary school. He stood as stiff as a board, except for his left foot, which he kept tapping repeatedly as he waited for June to come out of school.
He looked up at the giant clock on the outside of the school building, impatiently counting down the minutes, hell even the seconds till all the children came flooding out. A couple of parents would stare at him in intimidation. They, despite not knowing that he was a local mass murderer, we’re still very much afraid of him. I mean who wouldn’t be when a 6 foot 7 tall man who barely spoke a word to you or anybody else aside from his daughter, who had hair covering a majority of his chiseled face and had piercing blue eyes, was standing right next to you.
Michael wasn’t quite fond of having his face being shown either. He much preferred to have it hidden behind either one of his masks, however he can’t risk that chance of being caught. God knows what Dr Loomis and the cops would do to his kid if they arrested and/or killed him. And there was another reason why he kept his mask off in public. He loved seeing the cute little smile on June’s face when she saw him smile at her.
Michael’s mind began to wander on what he and June would do after school together. Would they go out for ice cream? Maybe play at the park? Whatever he had settled on, it was interrupted by the loud ringing of the school bell telling the kids it was time to go home.
Due to his height, he could easily see the kids coming out and was able to pick out June from the rest of them. However he wasn’t able to see her this time, it was hard to miss her with her long and wavy brown locks that came down to her ankles. Michael squinted his eyes to see if she was somewhere in the back amongst the crowd of little children running to their parents or the school bus, but she was nowhere to be seen.
Michael’s blood began to rush, worried that something might have happened to her that the school didn’t tell him about. He began to press forward towards the building before his ears picked up the little pitter-patter of tiny shoes on the ground.
“Papa!” A soft voice called out to him.
Michael looked up at the stairs, and rushing out the large doors came June, a piece of paper in her tiny hand. When she saw him, her face beamed happily, her taking a giant leap off the stairs and into the air.
Michael snapped out of his worried daze and held his arms out to catch her, the tiny girl landing in his large, muscular arms. June happily threw her arms around him in a hug, and nuzzled her face into his. “Papa! Papa!!” She cheered, covering his face in kisses.
Michael breathed out a sigh of relief before smiling at her, pushing the hair out her face. “Hello pumpkin.” He said softly. “How was school?”
June wiggled out of his arms and landed on the ground, jumping up and down happily. “It was good! Oh here here here!” She said, her handing him the paper she had in her hands.
Michael tried to grab it but she was so hyper that it shook before he really could get a hold of it. He chuckled before managing to grab it from her and looked at it. “What is it sweetheart?” He asked, tilting it to get a better look.
What was on the now slightly crumpled piece of paper was a drawing of what looked like him, Jason, herself and a very…very crudely drawn Freddy with the words “stinky pepperoni man” scribbled on it. Right next to them was their home and a couple of flowers, some grass, and the sun. In the corner was some sort of mysterious red stain.
“I drew this today! It's me, you and bubba Jason! Oh and Freddy’s there too I guess.” She murmured, her messing with her feet. “I’m mad at Stu, he got ketchup on it during lunch…”
Michael smiled. The drawing melted his heart, he looked on the back and saw that she had written “my family” on it. It made him happy that, even though she was adopted, and she knew that she was, that she sees them all as her family. He folded up the paper and put it in the pack pocket of his coveralls. He kneeled down to be at her height before taking her in a big hug, almost lifting her off the ground. “I love it,pumpkin. Thank you.”
June gasped out happily, throwing her arms around his neck to hug him back. Michael let her go and stood up, and grabbed her hand. They began to walk back to their home.
“So what are we going to do today papa?”
Michael hummed, looking up at the sky and then down at her. “Well I was thinking we can take the car and drive to the ice cream place?”
Ice cream? June love, love, LOVES ice cream. She frantically shook her head yes, clapping her hands in agreement. “Yes! Yes we gotta go!”
Michael laughed, swinging her arm as they walked. “Alright, let’s go eat then, you can get all the toppings you want.” He instantly regretted saying that. June is a hyper child and knowing her, she’d pile her ice cream in rainbow and chocolate sprinkles, gummy bears and whatever sweet treats that really shouldn’t be used as ice cream toppings, her little heart desires, but he couldn’t resist her. When she was left at his doorsteps as a baby, she changed his life for the better. He didn’t mind spoiling her, but not too much.
Hours later, Michael was laying down on the old, rundown, paisley yellow couch with June asleep on his chest, her snoring softly. The tv was on, playing whatever show she liked. He really couldn’t understand the concept of this young singer who hides her identity by just putting on a blonde wig and her and her friends' shenanigans and why this appealed to June, but it made her happy and that’s all that mattered to him.
Jason was off to the side, drinking a cup of hot chocolate through his mask, looking at the both of them all cheerfully, his energy radiating off the living room walls that, if you turned off the lights, Jason would be beaming head to toe like a lantern.
Freddy walked in, him groaning and rubbing his eye, him poking Jason in the shoulder. “Jason, stop it.” He grumbled, him walking to the couch that Michael and June were on and reached for the remote.
Michael slapped his hand away and shot a deathly glare up at him. “June’s show is on. Don’t you dare change that channel.”
Freddy hissed, shaking his hand which was now more red than it normally was. “What’s the big fuckin deal? She’s asleep and it’s just stupid ass Hannah Montana!”
Michael’s glare grew more intense, him slowly sitting up while holding a sleeping June closer to his chest so she wouldn’t fall. “I said, don’t. Touch. The God damn. Remote.” He hissed, violence backing up his words.
Freddy held his hands up in defense and scoffed, backing up. “Alright fine geez, I’ll watch tv in the kitchen then, good fuckin’ greif.” He muttered, making his way to the kitchen.
Michael rolled his eyes in annoyance and laid back down slowly so as to not wake up June. Lo and behold, she was miraculously still asleep, rubbing her eyes as she slept.
Michael flashed a warm smile down at her before leaning over and planting a kiss on the top of her head.
Jason looked back over to the two before getting up and reaching into a small closet, digging through it before pulling out a small blue blanket. He waddled over as quietly as possible and laid the blanket over June and gave her a pat on her head, his hand ten times the size of her head.
Michael smiled and then turned his attention back to the tv. Before he had realized it the sun was down, and the Disney channel was playing whatever original movie that was causing a whole scene in her school. Teenagers, BLEGH! Dancing and singing about basketball, romance and whatever, He wasn’t paying attention. To be honest, he’d rather be watching the little mermaid, but the songs were catchy.
Michael let out a loud, very audible yawn before covering his mouth instantly and looked down at June, who again, was somehow still asleep through all the loud noise that went on. Jason was asleep on the couch behind him and using Freddy as some sort of teddy bear. Freddy was probably drunk off his ass to really care, but he was definitely going to feel his bones being crushed in the morning.
Michael huffed out and smiled at them all. He didn’t want to admit it to Freddy or Jason, but he was very glad that he had those two around him. The more he thought about the drawing June made for him of them as a family, the more he admitted that they were indeed a family. Originally, they were just there for hiding, though Freddy could go in and out of the dream realm as much as he pleases, he didn’t really need to hide, but I guess he stayed for whatever reason. Still, he needs to pay his rent. When June arrived, however, they did see themselves slowly becoming closer. They really were becoming a family.
June yawned, rolling over some, which snapped Michael out of his thoughts. He looked down at her and smiled, rubbing her cheek with his finger and moving her hair out of her face. He began to hum as he got up slowly from the couch and snuck past the other two and made his way up the stairs to June’s room. He began to navigate the room in the dark, making his way through stuffed toys and paper and crayons laid across the floor. He managed to find her bed, him pulling back the blanket and placing her in the sheets, laying her head on a pillow. He tucked her in blankets and laid under her arm a purple plush bunny.
June gently stirred about before a smile crept on her face in sleep.
Michael had leaned over and gave her a kiss on her head one last time before backing up and switching on a mushroom shaped night light that illuminated the room in a soft blue glow. “Goodnight Pumpkin. I love you.” He whispered, slowly closing the door behind him.
June rubbed her eyes, curling up in a ball under the blanket and held her bunny closer to her.
“I wuv..you too papa.”
#dead by daylight#horror#michael myers#rz michael myers#rz Michael myers fanfic#halloween 2007#michael myers fanfic#writing#my writing
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