#are you healthy enough to write and make sure people on social media still want to like your stuff

[vanhelsingapologist]

Publishing has always been a fucking nightmare, but now it’s a layer of hell. It’s not enough that writers be good at what they do. Writers have to maintain an active social media presence and cultivate a following. Be available.

They have to be conventionally attractive enough to look good enough to see on a screen, aesthetically pleasing, kind, funny, up-to-date on trends, socially aware but not so controversial that they turn off a brand from California from slapping their discount code on a video promoting a book.

They have to do all of this with no media training, with little help from the companies that are supposed to be doing this for them.

Of course, a lot of this isn't possible for say, the 40-something mother of two who teaches English at a school and writes on the side. She’s boxed out of an already complex industry that already has enough walls.

On some level, I think authors have always marketed themselves a little, but we’ve reached such a crazy point where we’re demanding the author become the influencer. Accessibility in publishing has narrowed from an inch to a sliver. And that inch was hard enough to get in as is.

#This is about traditional publishing but there’s pretty privilege and ageism in self publishing too #I can’t think of the last time I saw an up and coming author recording videos who was over thirty #And frankly that’s a shame #It could be that I’m not looking hard enough #but it’s more likely that algorithms are trained the way they are #truly I don’t think they should have to do any of that at all #And forgive me but (and I know it’s rich because I’m an artist on a platform) but art shouldn’t be at the mercy of an algorithm #Now there’s also something to be said about self publishing becoming easier and easier to achieve success in #And doors opening because of influencer status is real and makes publishing wider in a way #But that doesn’t mean it’s accessible #I’m not gonna plaster my health issues over the wall but that life is certainly not accessible to me! #are you healthy enough to write and make sure people on social media still want to like your stuff #are you mentally well enough to be your own pr #I’m sure people who have studied this have more to say and have said it better but this is what I’ve observed #writing #publishing #publishing industry

[gavisuntiedboot]

Blue raspberry (Gavi x Reader)

28 day writing prompt challenge - prompts are here

Day 11: Late night McDonald's run

Warning: mentions/ alluding to eating disorders! Mentions of being scared to eat certain foods! If you're not comfortable please don't read!

"Pablo, I'm here, but they won't let me come into the parking lot because they don't recognize my car, so you're going to need to come up to."

"I'm walking up to you right now. Pull over to the side."

You moved your car from in front of the barrier to wait as close as possible on the side of the road. Despite the fact that it was 9:15pm, there were still about a dozen fans waiting to see the players emerge, hoping to get photos and autographs. You saw Gavi's hooded figure emerge, and he looked for your car. You flashed your lights to notify him where you were, but you notified the fans as well. They ran over and swarmed him, making it almost impossible to get to you. He took a few pictures and signed a few shirts before security intervened, separating him from his loyal supporters.

He got into your car and threw his backpack over his shoulder into the back seat, sighing and sinking into the seat. There was a path for you drive between the fans, and so you left Camp Nou and the flashes of iPhones behind you.

"Great. Now my Ford is going to be all over Twitter. People will want to get pictures with Gavi's chauffer. I'll never have a moment of peace."

He let out a tired laugh and pulled his hood down, finally relaxing as you hit the road.

"First of all, you already stick out for driving this obnoxiously American car in the middle of Spain. And second, why didn't you just tell security you were here to pick me up?"

"Gavi, can you imagine if security just let random girls in if they said they were there to see you? You would have been kidnapped a long time ago."

You rarely ever picked up Gavi. Your relationship was still relatively new, and he didn't want you to be hounded by the press and by people on social media making unfounded and nasty comments. Plus, he usually had a ride. He often arrived and left with Pedri, who was all too happy to have some company on his way to work in the mornings. If not Pedri, then another member of the squad (or even a member of staff) was always happy to make sure he got to and from practice safely (and didn't get snatched by a random fan).

But today, he was just in the worst mindset. It was freezing in Barcelona, and he hated to practice in the cold. As usual, he was slipping and sliding around the field, even more than usual due to the rain of the previous night. He was cold and wet, and he was being constantly critiqued by the coaching staff because he was just not in top form today. To make matters worse, he was starving. He had been following Robert's "healthy diet" advice, but sometimes he got so fixated on not eating the wrong thing that he just forgot to eat altogether. He had finished some weight training and was ready to hit the shower and go home when he got the news from Pedri.

"The Adidas reps are coming over to get me fitted for some new boots. I wont be leaving until 10:30."

Gavi almost cried at the news that he was going to be held at the Camp so late. He was exhausted. He was cold. He wanted to see his girlfriend. And so he swallowed his pride and called you, asking you to rev up the gas-guzzler and pick him up, even if it meant being photographed together.

"Mi corazón, are you okay? You're giving off more distressed vibes than usual."

"Honestly, I don't know," he replied, turning to look at you. "I've just been feeling drained and down. Everything is irritating me and I just want to sit in bed and do nothing."

A moment of silence passed. You didn't know what to say. You understood how Pablo felt: it was hard living up to so much pressure and expectations, and even if it wasn't full-blown depression, it was enough to make you worried. You didn't want these feelings to start interfering with his day-to-day, because you knew that would just make him feel worse. You weren't a therapist, but you wanted to do whatever you could to provide him with a little bit of comfort.

"... do you want to go to McDonald's?"

"What?" He said, looking over at you with his eyebrows stitched together in confusion, like you had asked the question in a different language.

"Well I mean when I've had a shit day I usually find myself in the McDonald's drive-thru. Nothing makes me feel as good as a 9-piece nugget meal and an Oreo McFlurry. But if you just want to go home I can just take you home."

"I... don't even remember the last time I went to McDonald's."

"Are you being serious?"

"Yeah. I eat a lot at the club and have my macros tracked by the nutritionists there. And then usually I'm with the boys and Eric or someone else cooks. And I don't have a car, so it prevents me from coming here for a McChicken whenever I want."

You drove for a few more minutes before turning into the drive through.

"Welcome to McDonald's what can I get for you?"

You placed your order, going a little overboard and getting everything that looked somewhat appealing. You turned to Gavi.

"What do you want?"

"All that food was for you?!"

"Quickly."

"Um... maybe I just get a small fries. I don't want to ruin all the work I've done by pigging out."

You looked at Gavi with wide eyes. It was dawning on you how much he was actually worried about his eating habits for fear of being ridiculed by the club.

"For him can I get a large McChicken meal with a blue raspberry slushie and- M&Ms or Oreo?"

"What?"

"Hurry up Pablo or we'll be here all night. M&Ms or Oreo?"

"But I- fine. Oreo."

"And an Oreo McFlurry. That's all"

You left the speaker, waiting in line to pay, and you looked over at Pablo, whos cheeks were bright red. He was looking directly in front of him, avoiding eye contact with you.

"What's wrong Pablito? You just said you liked McChickens."

"I do amor, that's not the problem." He said, looking at you. You took his hand in yours and laced your fingers together.

"It's just been a long time since I let myself eat this kind of stuff. And I mean I know that one time will be fine but I just... I don't know how to not feel guilty for having fried food for the first time in like a year."

You brought his hand up to your lips and kissed it gently, rubbing the back of it with your thumb.

"Pablo, you guys just won the Spanish Supercup less than a month ago - and you were in top form might I add. I know it's hard to let yourself have simple pleasures, but you deserve to have things that make you happy every now and then. And plus, this meal is probably better for you than two beers."

He smiled widely, leaning over to give you a gentle kiss. You reciprocated, enjoying the feeling of his soft lips against yours until the car behind you honked, causing you both to swiftly pull away.

You moved to the window, pulling out your wallet to pay.

"Corazón, you don't have to pay for the food. I can get it."

"Oh my God Pablo Gavi?"

He had forgotten to pull his hood up, and now the man at the window looked ready to faint. Pablo panicked. He did not want to be photographed in this moment.

"Why don't you get something for him to sign for you?" You asked sweetly, and Gavi squeezed your arm, greatful for your quick thinking. The employee ran off to find something for Gavi to sign.

"I think my card fell in my bag. Pablito, can you open up my McDonald's app on my phone so I can get the reward points?"

The employee returned, hands shaking as he handed you a shirt and a Sharpie for Gavi. The app lit up Gavi's face and just before he gave you the phone, his eyes got wide.

"Bebe, why do you have 7,000 McDonald's points."

".... I'm sad often. Hurry up and sign the shirt."

You got your food and drove back to Pablo's house.

"It's your obligation as a passenger to eat fries out of the bag while they are hot, and occasionally feed some to me." You said playfully. He smirked at you, grabbing some fries and taking a bite.

"Fuck."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I just forgot how good fat and salt are."

At Pablo's house, he tried to set the food on the table, but you stopped him, grabbing the bag and skipping over to the couch. You set the food out on the coffee table and dimmed the lights.

"Why do the lights have to be off for us to eat?" Pablo asked, sitting on the couch and putting one arm around you, pulling you close.

"Because it's more freeing. Don't look and hyper-analyze what you're eating, Pablo. Just eat until you're full."

You unwrapped the burger and handed it to Pablo, following quickly with your own food. You put on an episode of your favorite show, and you two just sat and ate and cuddled. After 5 or 6 episodes, the food was cleared, and you and Pablo had situated yourselves on the couch. He was laying in your arms, and you alternated between eating ice cream yourself and feeding him spoonfuls.

"Bebe, I have a question?"

"Yes mi amor?"

"How did you know I was going to like blue raspberry?"

"Because you have the taste buds of a 5 year old, just like me. Why? Did you like it?"

"I loved it. I'm going to go and buy myself one every time I score a goal."

"Can I get in on this deal? I also like slushies."

"Of course mi corazón. How else am I going to get to the McDonald's? You'll be driving."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: Hey y'all! Hope you enjoyed this one. Inspired by my own late night McDonald's run (which actually tragically ended w me spilling half the food on the floor). If you haven't had a blue raspberry slushie from McDonald's (and it's available where you are) go get one. I have met so many athletes who have this mentality around fast food, and so I wanted to give a little bit of a different perspective. Anyways, I've really been enjoying this prompt challenge. I hope you are too. Please leave any comments or feedback here or in my asks, and see y'all later!

#pablo gavi x reader #pablo martín páez gavira #pablo gavi imagine #pablo gavi #pablo gavi fanfiction #pablo gavi one shot #pablo gavi fluff #gavi x you #gavi x reader #gavi fluff #gavi one shot #gavi imagine #fc barca #footballer #footballer imagine #gavisuntiedboot

[house-of-slayterr]

Major Blog Updates!!!!!

TLDR: I will be on a Writing hiatus as I do some digital spring cleaning and restart some old stories I’m not happy with. But expect many new crazy life updates now that I’ve moved. And some old, or maybe new ocs will start slowly trickling back in.

No wonder I was so stressed last year, I have 11 active series and counting… 💀 and yes, I am insane enough that I’m about to restart most of them from scratch. I wasn’t happy with the way things were going with most of them, and how sloppily they were written as I never expected there to be so many of you, to whom I’m very grateful for 🥺🥰🫀

This move seemed like the perfect time to just reinvent myself as a whole, and that includes my social media presence. I’m trying to build better, healthier habits this year. And one of them is learning how to say no every once and a while. Slow down and enjoy the little things. My Autism and OCD make it very difficult for me to say no to writing requests. But I’m working hard to make sure to only accept requests when I have the energy and the excitement to do so. I would be devastated to give you all content that I know is not my best, which is why I think a rewrite is in order. 🥰

It will be a big daunting task, but the point of it is to teach me to learn to approach my fear tasks like this. I have seriously considered becoming a writer for real and taking this more seriously, and Fan Fics are the perfect way to practice. Because you all always leave such lovely feedback 🥺 and it’s my favourite of writing. There would be no point to my words if they couldn’t be shared, and to have you all want me to write for you all the time is one of the greatest honours I could ever receive.

I love being able to give you all back even a fraction of the joy you bring me, by bringing your wildest dreams to life. You’re all like family to me and I love you so much. 🫀

So yeah, sorry if your faves aren’t back for a while, EVERYONES getting a MAJOR makeover, but they will be back and better than ever! I’ll keep the old stories up in case people liked reading them. But pretty much from here on out, assume none of my old writing is “Cannon”.

Also, New rule for any future requests. Please, please, please make them specific. DO NOT as questions like “can I get a micheal Myers fix” 💀 like sure, you can… but it’s not gonna be good unless you give me a prompt. Also please try to state any specific details you want added if it’s not just a vague x reader I.E. pronouns, name/nicknames, ethnicity…

Bare With me as my tumblr gets a major face lift. I’m gonna be doing a mass edit, making new master lists and fixing side blogs. From here on out all master lists and things to do with OCs will be posted and backed up on @the-slayter-archives I will still post fan fics on here first, but they’ll be backed up on there so they don’t get lost in all my reblogs 😅

Nothing makes me happier than writing for you all, but last year I let it get out of hand and stress me out to a very dangerous point. This year I will be more proactive about taking my time and not overloading myself with requests.

As for the Role Play blogs, they will also be getting a face lift. But do not fret my sweets, I will have everything neatly organised for your handy Dandy viewing pleasure. I will do my very best to keep on top of master lists and links (bare in mind I am still disabled and chronically ill so sometimes it just takes me a while to do things) that way there’s no stress for me in the future and I can keep track of all my things nice and neatly. My autism demands routine and hyper-specific organisation categories. And I’m tried of trying to fight it, so I’m willing to put in the work to make some healthy routines in the hopes that my brain will feel less like that of Frankenstein’s monster.

I will make Rule posts and DNI banners for all my pages. Therefore there’s less room for miscommunications. And I will be far more active about remembering to put Tw/CW. My wonderful partner @disableddee has agreed to help me edit works in the future and proof for triggering topics. Unfortunately Due to the environment I was raised in, it’s hard for me to tell when things are traumatic or abusive. So I never mean to trauma dump or forget tags on purpose. I genuinely do. It realise some of these topics may be triggering to other people, and of course I want to be very sensitive to that. 

Was I sobbing typing this post? That’s a secret I’ll never tell… xoxo Gosip Girl

Tag: @queer-and-utter-chaos @emeraldfangs @mothmans-kingdom @spencermaybank @joelsgeetar @x-littlemoth @frenziedslashers @willowbrookesblog @myers-meadow @ajarofpickledtears @keffirinne

#big change #remodel #revamping my old work #restarting #fresh start #writer #tumblr writer #fan fic writer #bettering myself #bettering my writing #updating my tumblr

[talkinbouttinygames]

FAREWELL. - A Send-Off to Blaseball

I’ve got no way to put this that it’ll make sense to someone who wasn’t there. But I’ll try my best, because at this point, recollections are what’s left. The stories told – about something really, really excellent. I said it in my original coverage, but stories are Blaseball. The names and the stats and data are just the materials the fans steals to collage into a narrative of strife and struggle and the whims of fate and community, and it was like nothing else I’ve seen before. And I doubt I’ll easily see it again.

It makes sense. Blaseball in its entire run has never been sustainable in a healthy way. Despite being about as lightweight as you could make a kind of game, it just wasn’t enough for the fast pace. Things like the sun being swallowed by a black hole or the Grand Unslam are wonderful legend pieces, but they’re also proof of the game’s frailty, and the fact that they were embraced by the fandom is partly a stroke of luck. It’s pretty clear that Blaseball can easily run you dry—I myself was rather checked out during the Expansion Era, which I now regret despite circumstances at the time—I don’t blame the Game Band for deciding continuing the game wasn’t worth it. Maybe if the game had been drafted with sustainability from the start, requiring a subscription like an MMO and on a TV show schedule… but it was made as an off-hand project born of frustration at impotence in times of crisis for the sake of profit, a gift of the internet. The way it took off and grew probably wouldn’t have happened if it wasn’t you could just sign up for.

Of course, “took off” might be a bit of hyperbole. It exceeded the Game Band’s expectations after they passed the game around to some friends, sure. But the fact is that despite the overwhelming love from the fans, Blaseball is really quite terribly small and niche in the grand scheme of the internet. It mostly existed on Twitter, a site whose future existence is a great deal more precarious than it was around a year ago. It’s very liable to become a piece of passing trivia, or obscure nostalgia, supposing no Youtuber video essayist makes a rundown that goes 7-figures viral. Obviously, as a man writing for a ‘zine mostly read by his patient friends, I’ve not nearly that influential, but I want to say: Blaseball will not be forgotten, not by me. I love(d) it and it opened my eyes to a wondrous form of narrative and I’ll be thinking about it for the rest of my life.

It was a game of rotten systems, about how disparate people across groups can work as a greater community in order to rebel against those systems, and yes, through rebellion be punished—sometimes dearly for it—but never negating the existence of the rebellion in the first place. It was a lovely loom for weaving sports narrative and the fandom (a good chunk of whom are not sports fans) provided thread with passionate fervor. It was a wonderful testament to collective play and the act of giving a shit.

I’d advise any Blaseball fan to save and archive (preferably physically somewhere) any and all Blaseball media they’ve got on their socials or elsewhere. Even aside from the now seemingly imminent Twitterpocalypse, the Blaseball wiki exists primarily as a way to dispense the events of Blaseball in a clean, matter-of-fact way. It won’t express the reaction tweets, the fan theories, the narrative as it was on the ground. (And for that matter, the wiki itself still has gaps with what is essentially a skeleton crew of editors…) Blaseball was ephemeral in its life and it’s up to fans to stop it from fading.

I am, we all are love Blaseball.

[feedback]

#Video Games #Indie #Talkin' 'Bout Tiny Games #Blaseball #Writin' on Tiny Games

[otterandterrier]

Hello!

First off I love reading your stories of Romione (even though you don’t write it anymore I enjoy re-reading them)

Second, I have a few unpopular opinions to ask you about relationships. Since I feel like I’m the only one in my family that thinks differently (I wish for a happy/healthy relationship and not toxic like the majority of my family 😬)

The way you grew up/trauma can affect your relationship, especially if you are with someone who never went through trauma.

You don’t need children to be happy (I’m 26f and I can’t stress enough how much people tell me to start a family)

Men and Women can be just friends without wanting to get together

Lastly, what do you think about posting a relationship on social media?

Hey! Thank you so much, I'm happy to hear someone still rereads my Romione fics! 💖

I definitely think that the way you grew up affects your relationships because our behaviour and our thoughts are modelled one way or another by what we grow up with - e.g., if we grow up with constant conflict, we might seek out conflict in our relationships, but we also might end up doing the opposite and be really conflict-avoidant, or we might also avoid romantic relationships altogether! And this applies to traumatic experiences too, of course. This fact doesn't mean that we can't be aware of it and try to do better, or that we can use it as a free pass to be an asshole, obviously.

You absolutely don't and fuck anyone who can't understand that. But I think it's valid to feel conflicted even if you're really secure in your decision, precisely because of all the messaging and pressure we have to put up with, in which case I'd genuinely recommend therapy to really talk through that and not feel like you're alone.

They absolutely can and fuck anyone who can't understand that. But I also think that society and culture make it really hard for het people, especially men, to understand that.

I'm not quite sure what you mean... posting about your relationship, like pics? I think it's understandable and totally valid to want to share your memories with your significant other on social media like you might do with anything else. I also think some people overcompensate with what they show to the world for what their reality is, but that's not exclusive of their relationships. But on a purely personal level, I generally find people's social media posts about their S.O. cheesy and cringey lol.

#asks #Anonymous #friday night asks #sorry this is late!

[hijadelmar]

about body image and social media

first of all, i wanna thank becoming that girl’s post because it’s what mainly inspired me to write this. she explained herself already pretty well, but i wanted to share too my point of view about this topic because as someone commented in her blog, this is not speaked enough as it should.

i’m really exhausted of seeing everywhere, call it tumblr, twitter, instagram, youtube... any social media pictures or posts promoving extreme photo edition, body shapes that aren’t realistic and everything you probably already know.

if you feel affected by this, please, think for a second. do you really think these bodies are real at all? sure, some girls actually look like this: but most of the time these pictures you see are edited in some fashion, and everything’s about lightning, camera position and that stuff. if that girl you saw has a big chest and hips but slim waist, that’s probably not realistic at all. usually, bodies with those ‘big proportions’ comes with more fat in other zones like the belly, and there’s nothing wrong with that. if you’re skinny and don’t have wide hips or big boobs, or you are fat, what is wrong with that? don’t let these people influence in the way you see yourself. don’t succumb to extreme diets, unhealthy habits or even plastic surgery, cause nothing is wrong with your body as it is. as long as you don’t have any health problem, you have zero need to change anything about you.

if you wanna slim down, that’s fine. but in a healthy way. go with a professional to design a specific diet based on your characteristics and goals, work out, anything that doesn’t have bad side effects for you.

and about how normalized plastic surgeries are, i wanna talk about how dangerous they are. if you wanna go for it please, do it consciously. ignore other’s comments or how glorified it is, cause in reality most of the time it’s too risky. if you feel self-conscious about your nose for example it’s ok. first, try to make peace with yourself and your body. learn to live with it, to know deep in your head that there’s nothing wrong with your nose, lips, chest, legs or whatever body of your part you feel bad for. when you come to good terms with it, if you still feel like a surgery could be a good improvement please, go with good professionals. first of all i recommend you to go with a therapist, talk about it. take all the time you need to carefully think about this decision. 

as i said, operating rooms are way too dangerous. and even if everything goes well in a surgery, who knows how can it go in the future? there’s plenty of experience from women who went in a breast surgery and ended up having breast surgery cancer, or whatever implant they had, call it boobs, ass, whatever. is it really worth it? is it for yourself or cause society put it inside of your brain that you need this when you actually don’t?

don’t risk it. your life is way too valious to mess up with surgeries, extreme diets and any unhealthy habit.

good vibes and see you in my next post ♥

#self love #self care #self healing #body image #beauty trends #self esteem #self-improvement #beauty standards #healthy habits

[adhets]

I've been thinking about this the whole week especially during nights after scrolling through social media for the updates of The Eras Tour Singapore. I think I'm just gonna write it down in here.

As much as I'm happy and content seeing so many happy faces and beautiful posts (from swifties or general people) about Taylor, about how amazing she is for putting together such a massive magical incredible show just for her fans, there is this feeling of hopeless, disappointed, sad, longing and hurt for not being in one of her show. Will not being in one for sure.

I've been a fan since You Belong With Me but just never had a chance to see her live because I live in Indonesia and Taylor certainly didn't come here often for tour. The announcement of Eras tour bring so much hope for me to finally see her. After waiting for further announcement I found that the only stop for Southeast Asia was in Singapore. I was like "at least it's not far enough. I think I can manage that". and the waiting and the war has begun. Just sitting restless waiting for the code really felt like real war and getting more hopeless as the time passed. And finally the code just never come to the mail. I've tried so many opportunities from third-parties seller but still not much of a luck. I'm a soldier down on the icy ground.

I was trying so hard to not feel bitter towards people (some social media influencers) who actually not a fan got a better luck and got the tickets 🤣 it's proved later on when they stay quite after cruel summer 🤣 okay I'm not going to be bitter right now. it's just their luck.

All this long posts just for saying what I've been praying for.

Dear Taylor @taylorswift , you mean the whole world to me. You've been inspiring me to just go for what I want. You showed me that it is okay to be afraid and jump anyway. To just say what I want not holding back. To handle all obstacles in life like a brave soldier. You taught me to take the fuckin lemon or whatever this life has given you, make lemonade, and sell it ! Sell it to 96.000 people worth of a stadium and even more ! I may not have a chance to see you on tour this era but I really really hope I will one day. I hope when that time come I'm getting to see you more than just one day (getting greedy as I begin to imagine how incredible it must be 🤣)

Anyway I just wish and hope you're safe and healthy whenever you are. (In case it's getting weird, In Indonesia when someone pray for your health it doesn't necessarily mean you're not in good condition it just means they care about you so much) Please live long and loooong enough so We can finally meet. Even if we don't meet in person, I will be more than thrilled to just meet you where You're on stage doing things that you love and I'm on the crowd and you wouldn't probably recognize me.

so just pleaaaaseeee live long enough and bring that magical tour of yours to Indonesia or wherever that close to this damn country 🤣

You followed me so i think you might read it somehow or probably you don't . doesn't matter. I finally get it out of my mind. and yeah thats that. i love you so much 🫶🏻

#taylorswift #erastoursingapore #personal #indonesian swifties #letters to taylor #taylor swift the eras tour #taylorswifttheErasTour #Taylornation

[uneconomy]

Macro stuff vs. neurotic me

Where do you go if you have a problem with the Internet? 

I actually don’t know how to be on the internet because it’s so commercialized and you’re like suppose to uniquely and profoundly understand yourself and I really don’t.  And it’s very visual. Not that I’m trying to hide anything it’s just so weird if you don’t look up to your followers standards even in the best case it’s like you can be bombarded with all these beauty ads, like is that even healthy environment. Like if you were talking to a person in person like it would be considered rude if you constantly told someone how they look, like why did let the internet do that to us. And also there’s these weird ass bots all up in your business to either sell something or make some cheesy deal. I feel like I should disclose I am Chinese (mix) because the internet is globally traded and for global elites their bottom line is to grow their economic pie and like I feel like I’m not that Chinese but I’m limited to my experience. Overall, it’s not functional if a lot of being on social media is commenting on someone’s lifestyle.  Like sure they agreed to it but is that the internet culture we really want? Like is all the extra time we had did we really just want to make a combative collective if you didn’t get the Prada bucket hat.  But than I am also 35, no kids, living in the suburbs and like trying to figure out why even being liberal there’s still all these weird heartbreaking issues in that broad term called economy and there’s like not a lot of information on that but I guess this whitening toothpaste is going to change your life. And if you look like Kendall Jenner I guess it’s totally worth it. But how science is now being commercialized and globalized and traded it’s really not enough to aspire to look like a very pleasant looking person or even like it just makes you so vulnerable to bots exploiting you to optimize yourself. (Please note from what I can see the alternative in web3 it’s not like it’s better, it actually looks like consumer gulag but that’s just my opinion.)

What is Independence in the Internet Colony? 

The optimizing that I think that is work it: And even with Google and venture capital like why wasn’t there artists making money off their writing, art, singing, podcasts, products.  Yeah sure it’s nice to be like I’m all up in the Meta (whatever that is) but really I don’t think people understand how even big construction development projects works and just taking a selfie for the gram is not the tech you think it is.  Like I don’t know is social media for second class citizens and tech bros have all this information on how things work on a city level.  Is there a holistic approach to big data and global elite who the final word on how science and tech are commercialized.  Like sure Facebook can’t be governed by a nationalistic government because just people move around all over but like are they just exploiting that gap and exponentially creating a tech inequality. And like people in tech, people who have doing the right thing all there lives or who really love brands are biting their own hand, like your not going to customer service your way out inequality no matter how much you love Amazon it just takes up so much of your time to live your life. A lot of what people do even in healthcare is done on a computer and guys where are those computers made, guys.  Where? 

A bit: like where are the discussions about how tech is moving along and what is personal responsibility and what is the companies responsibility? 

(And like yeah tech companies in some ways know us better than we know ourselves, like I think Jamal Greene I think is the best person on this but we live in a very white world so the other person is Noah Feldman and here’s the weird part is that computers do know you better than you know yourself and as a woman at best it’s weird to look a person who looked similar to a person I was talking in real life.) 

And like I’m already tired and I didn’t even get to covid, war, geopolitics, racial inequality. And like I don’t even know why I am writing about this because I don’t even know how the local government works.  Like what’s a comptroller? 

#internetcolony web3

[encantoartdump]

The second anon here, the reason I'm worried about you is the level of self-deprecation you seem to push into the world each time you post. It isn't healthy. Each time you propose an ask game or upload your art, even when you reblog someone else it is the same level of self-demeaning words.

"I know no one will reply to this, not the first time." "Thank you for worrying about me, someone has to" "I'm used to people not caring" etc.

I don't mean to sound like I am psychoanalyzing you, but it really sounds like you need to talk to someone. You are pushing out these self-deprecating words for anyone to react and give attention to you because that is what you feel like you are lacking, you want words of encouragement just like everyone else, but you feel like you need to be hard on yourself to conjure people to say them.

You are loved, and I am sure no one hates you or your artwork. ❤❤

oh this is sweet

Well I don't mind being psychoanalyzed- I do it all the time. I have a psychology background after all

They're not necessarily things to get people to interact- per-say. More or less a way to tell people I'm used to interaction not happening- and not to feel to terribly bad that they don't.

Self-depreciation is a -at least in my case- is a defense mechanism I established from a very young age.

Being the youngest of 8, as well as being a bit of an airheaded artsy unobservant kid. I wasn't paid much mind from my parents and was constantly belittled and mocked by my older siblings. When it came to showing emotion- if I cried- my parents would punish me and they and my siblings would tell me I needed to toughen up, or stop being dramatic. If I got mad- my family would tell me to stop over reacting and stop being stupid. I was only 'allowed' to be happy.

My dad's famous quote that I took to heart and lived by was "If you laugh at yourself, or beat them to the punch. You can never be hurt"

So my siblings went from: "You're over reacting- you're stupid-"

to

Them: Youre- Me: Being dramatic! I was kidding- you should really pay more attention to my facial expressions. Not my fault you don't have a sense of humor! Them: Stop being st-- Me: I'm so stupid! There's no way you'd want to see this comic I took ages to draw up- I shouldn't have ever asked.

and it's simply translated to my online presence.

If I truly did art for views, I'd have stopped ages ago. I usually fade into the ether when I post things, they're neither impressive nor cute enough to catch attention of people. Because theoretically- if artwork has a unique style that's either incredibly cute, or insanely beautiful... more people will view it.

My artwork is just a mimicry of Disney. So. It just looks like...

when people are looking through. It looks like. Well. Art. I guess. LOL

I know my limitations on social interaction, and on social media interaction. So the self-depreciation is more or less making it less impactful when my works that I spent a week or two to draw doesn't get many notes- if any interaction at all.

This also goes for my AO3.

But it's been an ONGOING thing throughout my art career- and let me tell you. I've been doing art for 3 decades ^w^ practically since I could hold a pencil. The constant in that, was the lack of interest. Sure, it makes me sad, but I still draw because I love it.

Same with writing. But to gleam from this- no need to worry about me. I am healthily self-depreciative. As... ironic as that sounds. LOL

But I do appreciate the concern. You're very sweet~

#not encanto #anon ask #anon answered #ask game

[takeeachdayonebookatatime]

Castle fanfiction 

Staring the cast of Castle 

Why did you elbow me? 33

Day 53-54

part 10

Castle: pov the therapist was saying how good Kate was doing he gave us a list of fun things Kate had to/could accomplish like goals. Most were easy like going on a little hike or a slow walk. The other paper had info on how many hours of sleep a day Kate needed. He said if she feels tired during the day take a nap you don't want to overdo it. He also told us which Gyms were the best and closest to our loft. Mother and Alexis were making dinner tonight. I helped Kate into the house so she could take a nap before dinner. I woke her up when dinner was ready. The food was amazing, I always thought Mother was a bad cook. I guess I'm wrong about her or maybe she took a cooking class. Kate decided to read a little before bed, while I got some writing done. Kate eats around the same time everyday. 

Kate: pov we cuddled in bed for a bit before I had to leave for work. Castle jumped in the shower while I did my stretches. Afterwards I showered while Castle made breakfast, the food was so yummy. He made sure to pack his laptop so he could get some writing done while at the precinct. Today I was starting off with paperwork which was okay with me. Castle said he had a message from his publisher that said Rick Monday meeting at black pawn 12 am. It works out because I have work then and he would be free later for my Pt. Ryan got the call that we had a body at 5th and Lexington. 

Ryan: pov me and Esposito arrived on scene turns out the body was flattened like a pancake. Lanie was going to have a hard time with this one because he is so squished. She said the time of death is around 5 am. I checked around for surveillance cameras and possible witnesses. No one saw it happen but it was raining pretty hard last night as the storm was moving through.

Lanie: pov I was trying to see if the killer left any DNA on our victim here but the rainwashed most of it away. Turns out his wallet was still in his pocket but a little wet. His name is Chet blank. It is pretty obvious what his cause of death is.

Esposito: pov Kate was looking at the surveillance cameras. Lanie had I'd the victim. Kate was also looking into his Financials and phone records. And his social media accounts to see if there was any info. 

Kate: pov me and Captain Olivia Benson have been trying to get together for lunch to catch up but with me having been  in the hospital and having physical therapy, and her working long hours it just has not worked out maybe next week will work. For the both of us. Castle went to pick up lunch for Me, Lanie and the boys.  He went to a new place near the precinct, a chicken place that makes healthy food options. Once he was back we all discussed the case, Castle had a lot of theories like possessed steam roller or his favorite guess an invisible killer. The grilled chicken with grilled vegetables was amazing and the tea was also good. We definitely will be heading back there soon.

Ryan: pov Kate said she had a breakthrough in the case when she ran Chet's name in the system it popped up for a past crime but he was never charged. Esposito asked what the past crime was. Kate said murder he was accused of murdering his girlfriend but they did not have enough evidence. I asked if the girlfriend had any family members that we could talk to.

Esposito: pov me and Ryan arrived at her parents house and nicked to very nice people and opened the door. We told them we have to ask you some questions about where you were last night at 5am. They both had alibis for the time of death. We told them the guy who was accused of murdering you daughter was found brutally murdered a steam roller had crushed him to death the mother said how awful we would never wish that pain on anyone. We never believed he murdered our daughter he was like a son to us. We asked them if their daughter had any friends. We talked to the father and said their son is staying with a friend right now his sister's death messed him up and he got in with the wrong crowd. After the fight we had the other night he just left and never came back. He gave us the friends name. Tom. We then went to pick him up and his friend.

Castle: pov Back at the station Ryan and Esposito were interviewing the friend first that way we can catch Tom in a lie. The friend said Tom was angry over his sister dating  Chet. He hated the guy for dating his sister. Hmm he said Tom loved his sister and wanted her all for himself. Eww gross wait a minute. Ryan asked him where Tom was the night his sister died because it says he was with you playing video games until 12:am when his parents called. And his sister died at 10pm. Their  parents were out late until 12am. well he showed up about 10: 40pm telling me his sister just Died. I thought it was sad. I told Derek the problem was the 911 call was at 11:59 pm by his parents. He said I know he might have stopped at the house, saw the body and ran. That is why I said he was with me so he would not get in trouble. I told Derek if Tom killed his sister Abigail he would go down to excesary to murder. 

Kate: pov with the info Ryan and Esposito got from Derek they new Tom had to be the Murder. I called his parents down to the station to tell them what we found and they did not believe me. I had them view the interrogation from the 2 was mirror on the other side of the glass Ryan and Esposito were able to get Tom to confess 2 both murders. His parents could not believe it at all.  To be continued. ……..

#books #reader #read #reading #bookreviewer #betareader #castle #fanfiction #katebeckett #tvshow

[unpleasantdreams570]

Maybe they’re not sure where things stand either. Maybe they’re dealing with their own stupid insecurities that tell them they’re not good enough for you or that you’ve moved on. I think there are some flames that never fully go out and the feelings are still there, simmering like embers. I think it can be hard sometimes for people to move past “what happened”. Maybe someone is still very much in love with you but they’re hung up on the wrong things like thinking you keep a valentines gift bc they think you might miss that ex who gifted it to you instead of them. Not saying they’d be right in thinking that, just that they’re insecure and focus on dumb shit. Hearts are so complicated. So is life I guess. It’s short. Idk. Just trying to figure it out.

Well, the last ex I spoke to was Mike. It was a few weeks ago on Tiktok. From what I gather with him, he’s super unhappy about the girl he tried to be in a relationship with after me. He said all girls are liars and all that shit he always said. I guess she cheated on him? I’m shocked that he would even continue that, because he always accused me of that nonsense, but I never cheated on him. He will believe whatever he wants. Anyway, whoever this “ex” that might still be in love with me is hard to believe they have those feelings at all. I was called a lot of negative shit by those I’ve dated. I was never better, tho. We all have our demons and insecurities that we fight through everyday. It’s funny, I never felt good enough for a lot of my exes because they made me feel that way. If we broke up, they’d be out with another girl. It’s hard to believe anyone can truly love you in this day and age. Social media completely destroys relationships and trust is almost non existent. I wish whoever this ex was would just be upfront. You know? Also, I’ve stated in other answers as to what I think of gifts from exes. I gave it some more thought, and the horror pictures I was given weren’t “personal.” If jewelry, writings, or cards were kept, I’d be upset. I wouldn’t blame anyone else for being upset if I kept those items too. I don’t. There comes a time in your life when you grow up and realize what’s “healthy” and what’s not. I never wanted to make anyone I was with feel like they weren’t good enough. If I was with them, they were always good enough.

[asterchats]

mmmmm

#i love ocs. i love my friends' ocs. and still #people make those ''you Have to give OCs a fair chance!!!'' posts #and their ''list THREE things you love about OCs!'' questions on ask-the-mun-memes #and i go >:/ #i don't understand why it is set up as a 'test' in some way and i don't appreciate it @tumblr rpc #''but OCs are underappreciated!!!!'' i agree. also you are not entitled to people's time or 'proof' they're interested #even if your character is an OC #why ....... is it hard to separate 'this is a bummer' from 'other people owe me a different response' #this is a social media site #i agree OCs are often overlooked but i am not sure the approach the RPC has taken to remedying that issue is #healthy or even productive. you don't Want to write with people who are writing with you to Prove Something / earn some social status #(or do you? i don't know. i suppose you could) #anyway i am not here to Prove that i support the things i support and if you test me i will actively and deliberately fail #'are you interested in my oc ENOUGH???' no i am not. goodbye

[creacherkeeper]

upset and don’t know why? Appease the Brains

lizard brain

questions: do i have food, water, and safe shelter? 

solutions: drink more water. drink things with electrolytes. make and stick to a food schedule that works for you. clean your room. if you are in an unsafe situation, talk to someone trusted about creating a plan to get out 

toddler brain 

questions: have i had enough rest? am i been getting what i need to be healthy? am i cared for? am i frustrated? 

solutions: make sure you’re getting enough sleep on a schedule that works for you (people naturally sleep better at different times and need different amounts of sleep. if youre young you will need to sleep more than 7 or 8 hours). make sure you have varied nutrition in your diet. make sure your medications and supplements are working for you and take them on schedule. work on developing a support system that meets your needs. take breaks from things if you feel burned out, even if it’s only for a day 

monkey brain 

questions: have i had enrichment in my life? am i stuck in a rut? have i had socialization, entertainment, and creativity? has anything challenged me lately? 

solutions: limit your time on social media. make an effort to be in new environments - even if its another room in your house or backyard. examine what is or isn’t working in your routine. pick up a new hobby (if you’re more physically active, consider a hobby like writing or coding. if you’re more mentally active, consider a hobby like woodworking, bookbinding, or a sport). write stories, make art, and write analyses (if you haven’t tried original work - focus on that for a little while). try new music. try a new food. build something with legos. consume a new type of media even if you’re not sure you’ll like it (like graphic novels, radio plays, or watching ballet). take on a long term project and set aside time to work on it on a schedule (whether its every day, every few days, or specific days each week) 

human brain 

questions: do i feel loved? do i feel understood? am i existentially fulfilled? do i have a sense of purpose? do i have a sense of meaning? am i contributing to the lives of the people i care about and are they doing the same for me in return? 

solutions: reach out to friends and loved ones, and do activities together, like play a game online or walk in the park. talk to safe people about things that upset you, such as a trusted friend or a therapist, and find steps to improve your mental health. interrogate whether your religious beliefs are working for you, and if they are, make an effort to practice your faith, whether that is attending services (including digitally if they have them), reading and discussing your religious texts, or following holidays. read self help books or blogs from trusted professionals. read about philosophy and interrogate your own understanding of things. learn how to communicate your needs, thoughts, and desires to people who will listen. be active in your community (whether in community service, activism, or getting involved in local politics). adopt a rescue animal. give money to causes you care about. make an effort to learn about points of view and lived experiences that are different than your own. challenge assumptions about how you are expected to live your life and decide whether you want those things or not. express love for the people you care about - through kind words, good acts, crafts, or otherwise. if there are steps in your life you have been afraid of taking, make a plan to take them 

if you fulfill higher needs before lower needs, you will still feel bad. if you feel bad and don’t know why, start lower and work your way up. basic needs must be met before moving on healthily 

#i have no idea what to tag this #this is just maslows hierarchy of needs tumblr edition #idk a lot of people are not doing well right now so i thought this might help #self help #advice #mental health

[thebibliosphere]

So I'm currently unemployed because I got fired for taking too much sick leave (it was legally sketchy blah blah blah but in the end I just can't work and take care of myself and investigate my mystery health problems at the same time). So I've been spending more time writing!

I really admire your writing and loved Hunger Pangs. I'm looking forward to the poly elements developing and I'm wondering if you have any advice for writing about poly. I've made one of my projects a snarky take on "write what you know" ... Apparently what I know is southern gothic meets Pacific northwest gothic, chronic illness pandemic surrealism, and falling back-asswards into threesomes.

I know this is a very open-ended question and I don't expect an answer, I'm just curious about it if you have the energy. As a writer, trying to write honestly / realistically about polyamory/enm, I'm curious if you have any thoughts on what's different about portraying monogamy or nonmonogamy in books, romance or erotica or otherwise.

I'm trying to read examples but it's hard to find examples that fit the niche I'm looking at. Excuse me if this question is nonsense, it's the cluster headaches.

I'm sorry to hear you've been dealing with all that and solidarity on the cluster headaches. But I'm glad you're finding an outlet through writing! And I hope you're happy with an open-ended ramble in response because oh boy, there's a lot I could talk about and I could probably do a better job of answering this sort of thing with more specific questions, but let's see where we end up.

There's definitely a big difference between writing polyamory/ENM (ethical non-monogamy) and what people often expect from monogamous love stories.

Just even from a purely sales and marketing standpoint, the moment you write anything polyamorous (or even just straight up LGBTQIA+ without the ENM) you're going to get considered closer to being erotica/obscene than hetero romances. It's an unfair bias, but it's one that exists in our society. But also the Amazon algorithm and their shitty, shitty human censors. Especially the ones that work the weekends. (Talking to you, Carlos 🖕.)

So not only do you start out hyper-aware that you're writing something that is highly stigmatized or fetishized (at least I'm hyper-aware) but that you are also writing for a niche market that is starving for positive content because the content that exists is either limited, not what they want, or is problematic in some fashion i.e. highly stigmatized or fetishy. And even then, the wants, desires, and expectations of the community you're writing for are complex and wildly varied and hard to fit into an easy formula.

When writing monogamous love stories, there is a set expectation that’s really hard to fuck up once you know it. X person meets Y. Attraction happens, followed by some sort of minor conflict/resolution. Other plot may happen. A greater catalyst involving personal growth for both parties (hopefully) happens. Follow the equation to its ultimate resolution and achieve Happily Ever After. 

But writing ENM is... a lot more difficult, if only because of the pure scope of possibilities. You could try to follow the same equation and shove three (or more) people into it, but it rarely works well. Usually because if you’re doing it right, you won’t have enough room in a single character arc to allow for enough growth, and if ENM requires anything in abundance, it’s room to grow.

And this post is huge so I’m going to put the rest under a cut :)

There's also a common refrain in certain online polyam/ENM circles that triads and throuples are overrepresented in media and they may be right to some extent. Personally, I believe the issue isn't that triads and throuples are overrepresented, but that there is such minuscule positive rep of ethical non-monogamy in general, that the few tiny instances we have of triads in media make it seem like it's "everywhere" when in actuality, it's still quite rare and the media we do have often veers into Unicorn Hunter fetish porn. Which is its own problematic thing. And just to be clear, I’m not including this part to dissuade you from writing "falling back-asswards into threesomes." If anything, I need more of it and would hook it directly into my brain if I could. I'm just throwing it out there into the void in the hope that someone will take the thought and run with it, lol.

I’d love to see more polyfidelitous rep in fiction, just as much as I’d like to see more relationship anarchy too. More diversity in fiction is always good.

Another thing that differs in writing ENM romance vs conventional monogamy is the feeling like you need to justify yourself. There's a lot of pressure to be as healthy and non-problematic as possible because you are being held to a higher standard of criticism. Both from people from without the ENM communities, and from the people within. Granted, some people don't give a shit and just want to read some fantastic porn (valid) but there are those who will cheerfully read Fifty Shades of Bullshit and call it "spicy" and "romantic," then turn around and call the most tooth-rottingly-sweet-fluff about a queer platonic polycule heresy. That's just the way the world works.

(Pro-tip for author life in general: never read your own reviews; that way madness lies. I glimpsed one the other day that tagged Hunger Pangs as “ethical cheating” and just about had an aneurism.)

And while that feeling of needing to justify yourself comes from a valid place of being excluded from the table of socially accepted norms, it can also be to the detriment of both the story and the subject matter at hand. I've seen some authors bend so far over backward to avoid being problematic in their portrayal of ENM, they end up being problematic for entirely different reasons. Usually because they give such a skewed, rose-tinted perspective of how things work, it ends up coming off as well... a bit culty and obnoxious tbh.

“Look how enlightened we are, freed from the trappings of monogamy and jealousy! We’re all so honest and perfect and happy!”

Yeah, uhu, sure Jan. Except here’s the thing, not all jealousy is bad. How you act on it can be, but jealousy itself is an important tool in the junk drawer that is the range of human emotion. It can clue us in to when we’re feeling sad or neglected, which in turn means we should figure out why we’re feeling those things. Sometimes it’s because brains are just like that and anxiety is a thing. Other times it’s because our needs are actually being neglected and we are in an unhealthy situation we need to remedy. You gotta put the work in to figure it out. Which is the same as any style of relationship, whether it’s mono, polyam or whatever flavor of ENM you subscribe to* And sometimes you just gotta be messy, because that’s how humans are. Being afraid to show that mess makes it a dishonest portrayal, and it also robs you of some great cannon fodder for character development.

Which brings me in a roundabout way to my current pet peeve in how certain writers take monogamous ideals and apply them to ENM, sometimes without even realizing it. The “Find the Right Person and Settle Down” trope.

Often, in this case, ENM or polyamory is treated as a phase. Something you mature out of with age or until you meet “The One(tm).” This is, of course, an attempt to follow the mono style formula expected in most romances. And while it might appeal to many readers, it’s uh, actually quite insulting. 

To give an example, I am currently seeing this a lot in the Witcher fandom. 

Fanon Netflix!Jaskier is everyone's favorite ethical slut until he meets Geralt then woops, wouldn’t you know, he just needed to find The One(tm). Suddenly, all his other sexual and romantic exploits or attractions mean nothing to him. Let's watch as he throws away a core aspect of his personality in favor of a man. 

Yeah... that sure showed those societal norms... 

If I were being generous, I’d say it’s a poor attempt at showing New Relationship Euphoria and how wrapped up people can become in new relationships. But honestly, it’s monogamous bias eking its way in to validate how special and unique the relationship is. Because sometimes people really can’t think of any other way to show how important and valid a relationship is without defining it in terms of exclusivity. Which is a fundamental misunderstanding of how ENM works for a lot of people and invalidates a lot of loving, serious and long-term relationships.

This is not to say that some polyam/poly-leaning people can't be happy in monogamous relationships! I am! (I consider myself ambiamorous. I'm happy with either monogamy or polyamory, it really just depends on the relationship(s) I’m in.) But I also don't regard my relationship with a mono partner as "settling down" or "growing up." It's just a choice I made to be with a person I love, and it's a valid one. Just like choosing to never close yourself off to multiple relationships is valid. And I wish more people realized that, or rather, I wish the people writing these things knew that :P

Anyway, I think I’ve rambled enough. I hope this collection of incoherent thoughts actually makes some sense and might be useful. 

----

*A good resource book that doesn't pull any punches in this regard is Polysecure by Jessica Fern. It's a wonderfully insightful read that explores the messier side of consensual non-monogamy, especially with how it can be affected by trauma or inter-relationship conflicts. But it also shows how to take better steps toward healthy, ethical non-monogamy (a far better job than More Than Two**) and conflict resolution, making it a valuable resource both for someone who is a part of this relationship style***, but also for writers on the outside looking in who might have a very simple or misguided idea of what conflict within polyam/ENM relationships might look like, vs traditional monogamous ones.

** The author of More Than Two has been accused of multiple accounts of abuse within the polyamorous community, with many of his coauthors having spoken out about the gaslighting and emotional and psychological damage they experienced while in a relationship with him. A lot of their stories are documented here: https://www.itrippedonthepolystair.com/ (warning: it is not light material and deals with issues of abuse, gaslighting, and a whole other plethora of Yikes.) While some people still find More Than Two helpful reading, there are now, thankfully, much, much better resources out there.

*** Some people consider polyam/ENM to be part of their identity or orientation, while others view it as a relationship style.It largely depends on the individual. 

#long post #writing #ethical non-monogamy #relationship styles #relationship models in fiction #also that kindle link is an affiliate link #because fuck giving amazon free recs

[sleephyjhs]

When You’re Expecting (Taehyung Headcanon)

pairing: taehyung x pregnant!reader

warnings: mention of fertility & pregnancy complications

note: i’ve been craving to write a bts x pregnancy series for a while so here we go !! if there’s a specific member you’d like to see next, shoot me an ask :)

m.list

FINDING OUT

even before finding out you were pregnant, you both had so much love for your child

there was nothing either of you could have wanted more than a baby

it was always at the forefront of your mind how much you wanted a little human of your own

it was approaching a year since you began trying seriously

a few false hopes and two miscarriages later, fertility drugs were looking to improve the chances of conceiving

the raging hormones which came with the drugs were all worth the positive test

early september - sickness had hung around your throat for days

headaches lasted longer than usual, and crying at the most mundane things had become an unwelcome habit

in the bathroom cabinet, you’d collected a small stockpile of electronic and stick pregnancy tests

one of them would eventually show positive, right?

taehyung sat on the bathroom tiles with you

waiting two minutes felt closer to waiting two months

he crossed his legs, bouncing his knees impatiently

your knees came to your chin; high hopes weighed heavily on your heart

the alarm set on his phone beeped quietly

your heartbeat rose suddenly to your throat

taehyung reached out for your hand as you turned to read the results

two blue lines - as clear as day

they became less clear as your eyes coated with thick, salty tears

he began to chuckle as his happiness trickled down his cheeks

“we did it baby! we’re gonna have a baby!” he whispered, choked up by his own anticipation

no words were left swirling in your mind

your jaw hung open as though the hinges were faulty

shakily, you lifted the electronic test to triple check

pregnant.

as you crashed into taehyung’s open arms, memories of the past loomed in your mind

it was only inevitable

a positive test was a familiar joy to you both

however this familiar joy had only ever been followed by crippling devastation

as much as you tried not to think about it, you couldn’t help but retain maternal caution

however, this time also felt different

taehyung’s spirit, your spirit - it was as though fate didn’t want to disappoint you any more

someone out there decided it was finally your time to grow a mini human to bring into the world

of course, no time was wasted in contacting the maternity clinic

seeing your baby on a screen was now a top priority

just to see their little head, maybe even hear their heartbeat

just to know they were okay

just to know you were keeping them cosy and safe, that’s all you needed

taehyung couldn’t hold his excitement

from leaving the house to reaching the hospital, his toothy grin never wiped from his cheeks

he never said anything at the time since his main focus was always on comforting you

but losing his babies near enough tore him apart

even when you tried to comfort him, taehyung restricted himself just to protect your wellbeing

of course, the worse had already crossed his mind

but it wouldn’t get the better of him

it couldn’t.

you soon learned you were already 6 weeks pregnant

the midwife had to point out where your little baby was hanging out; they were such a tiny thing after all

briefly, you took the opportunity to hear their heartbeat

it was faint over the machine, but fast

there really was a life within you.

“there’s something else, if you just look over here...” the midwife prompted, turning the monitor so you could grasp a better view

taehyung leaned slightly over your chest to peer closely at the smaller monochrome screen

with the mouse, she circled a second bean shaped figure

“the fertility drugs increase the chance of twins. looks like you guys got lucky!”

twins. you were having twins.

THE PREGNANCY

like with most pregnancies, you were advised to wait until the 12 week milestone to begin announcing your impending delivery

and even though he understood the importance of patience right now, taehyung could hardly contain his excitement

it didn’t help that a little bump had already begun to grow

keeping a secret was much more difficult when the evidence was near impossible to hide

already, taehyung spent early mornings talking to his little angels

telling them stories he seemingly made up on the spot

or even borrowing some from his own childhood

“you know they can’t hear you yet? it’s about 7 weeks until they’ll be able to, honey.”

“i know, i’m just practising for when they can.”

of course, you wouldn’t admit that you did the same when you were alone

you attended more midwife appointments than other expectant mothers might

the pair of you much preferred being on the safer side

in the car, when on a quieter, less congested road, taehyung often reached over to cradle your still-growing bump with a free hand

you slotted your fingertips between his for additional sappiness

“you two have so many people waiting for you here, hmm? many people are already so in love with you both. me and mummy included.”

on a sleepless night, you’d made a small pact with tae

it was a rash decision, but sincere nonetheless

“no matter what, they are always going to know how wanted they were. always.”

taehyung hardly needed reminding of this, but it was still a weight off your shoulders

as you tried to conceive, the pregnancy diet had already been implemented into your daily routines

however now that you were carrying two precious babies, there really would be no more ‘cheat’ days for you

no more extra half cups of coffee on slower mornings

although you usually took over the role of head chef in the house, taehyung dedicated extra effort into preparing you both healthy and yummy foods

sautéd rice with green vegetables and lean meat/tofu appeared to be his go-to

but you still opted to supervise just in case

finally being able to announce your pregnancy was another heavy weight lifted from your mind

the other members were over the moon for you both

particularly when they reminded themselves of the struggles you had experienced previously

and also remembering the utter devastation of their taehyung when he had to break it to them

all of them kept their eye out for little gifts and outfits

each week, taehyung came home with a new stack of pale rompers or neutral-tones teething toys

these babies would have the best uncles; at least that much you could be certain of

announcing your pregnancy on social media was a looming task, but one he was determined to pull off perfectly

for filler content between schedules, the members had been asked to film a 5 minute vlog of their daily life

well, what a perfect opportunity!

towards the end, taehyung made sure to include some shots of your now protruding bump overlaid with some more vintage camera settings

safe to say, that day you had broken the internet

love, congratulations and blessings poured in from every corner of the earth

a few comments complimenting how much pregnancy suited you touched you especially

self image is commonly effected by the progression of pregnancy, and you were no exception to that

although it was amazing how your body grew and made a little home for your tiny babies, it was still quite strange to see yourself changing so quickly

your favourite clothes didn’t fit around your doubled bump anymore

and your skin seemed to hate sharing nutrients with two extra people

but for the days where you struggled to love yourself, taehyung easily filled in the gaps for you

sneaking up behind you in the bathroom

(although the mirror kinda gave him away)

he’d wrap his arms around your just-moisturised bump and carefully rest his chin on your shoulder

“tell me all your worries honey.”

you gushed over how much you missed wearing your favourite jackets

and how strange it was to look at yourself in such a new and confusing way

“i know it’s normal, and i know i have to do it for them. but i guess it’s just weird - i don’t look like myself anymore”

he sighed and planted a kiss on a spot of bare skin

those small kisses still tickled you like they always had

“well, you definitely look different,”

you really hoped there was a second part to that sentence, mostly for tae’s own good

“but why does that have to be bad? not gonna lie, it actually kinda makes you hotter. maybe we should make babies more often!”

“make~?”

LABOUR AND DELIVERY

originally, you had wanted to try and stick to the natural route for as long as you could

but after a few contractions, that idea was immediately out of the window

to help steady yourself and wait out the pain, you held onto the kitchen island and swayed to your own pace

eventually, taehyung joined you

copying the same movements while timing your contractions

“they really must be desperate to come out, huh?”

“well do you think they could hurry it up a bit?!”

the pair of you had been prepared for this for over a month

the hospital bag was ready by the door with all of your essentials packed tightly inside

not forgetting the pots of instant ramen taehyung insisted he must bring in case of an emergency

just as he was readying to back out of the driveway, taehyung took a mental stock check of everything packed in the back

“do you think we have everything?”

“i love you but stop talking please.”

thankfully, he understood well that the sheer pain made you cranky

so long as he assured himself that it was ‘just the contractions’, he’d be just fine

as much as he couldn’t wait to announce he was about to become a father to everyone, he kept himself grounded when walking you to the maternity ward

one corridor in and you’d suggested that a wheelchair might be a better mode of transport

breathlessness and contractions didn’t sound like a favourable mix to you

the assessment of your fast dilation granted you an immediate spot in the labour ward

you’d picked this suite specially due to its expansive space

the option of a birthing pool was still available if you so needed it, but the mood lighting and access to aromatherapy was what attracted you to the room in the first place

a serene paradise for your angels to be born into

it was perfect

taehyung explored while you adjusted to your new surroundings

of course, it didn’t take him long to find the birthing ball

“what’s the difference between a yoga ball and a birthing ball?”

there obviously was none, but you took a few seconds to try and be smart with him

“well, sit on that and you might have a baby the size of a watermelon come out of you soon.”

taehyung cradled his torso and pulled a shocked expression, which was enough to make you giggle and cause another contraction

less than a few hours passed, and you had already attempted to scream the building down once or twice

“get these babies out of me. no i’m serious, i need them out.”

realising your deadpan expression, taehyung soon attended to you at the head of your bed

stroking your slightly sweaty head and patting a ice cold flannel on your clammy forehead

he braced himself for a crushing hand grip which came about sooner than he’d prepared for

you weren’t the biggest fan of commotion, and so being surrounded by nurses and doctors was close to being your worst nightmare

taehyung focused his voice into your ear, trying to minimise the tension coming from below your pelvis

his motivational words were broken up by short bursts of pushes

many of which were followed by a string of curse words which just slipped out

and then, there it was.

the first piercing cry belted across the room

a tear or two may have happened to slip from your eyes

finally the moment you’d waited for, nearly two years in the making, was here

the first of two, a little girl who already had a head full of the most luscious black hair

taehyung wanted to hold back his happy tears in order to show some kind of strength

but you and him both knew he’d never hold it back for long

within the space of 4 minutes, the second baby was born into the world.

but this time, there was no immediate cry

the whole world seemed to slow down in that moment as you waited

and waited

midwifes gathered around the new infant, looking for any kind of obstruction

but, soon enough, your son said his first hello to the world

#taehyung #kim taehyung #bts #bts taehyung #bts v #bangtan #bts reactions #bts imagines #bts one shot #bts drabble #bts headcanon #bts mtl #bts imagine #bts reaction #bts pregnancy #taehyung dad #taehyung x reader #taehyung x oc #taehyung pregnancy

[jangmi-latte]

>♡< may i order some cheesy pomefiore headcanons with an s/o who's a ballet dancer?

➻ content: almond chocolate cocoa

➻ warnings: none

➻ comments: i've always wanted to try ballet. makes me wonder how weak my legs are. i've broke my boots one time attempting to stand on my toes :'D this was fun to write. i do be having mad respects for ballerinas.

i. vil schoenheit

➺ with him as a model and actor and you as a ballerina, there is no doubt that both of you will have strict self-care schedules for yourselves. daily yoga and workout with him during the mornings (maybe even late at night) is one of the ways you two would bond with each other.

➺ you may have your own healthy diet and vil somehow keeps track of what you eat to keep your slim figure.

➺ your diet is probably not as strict as vil’s so there are times you would tease him when it comes to any cheat day.

“look vil, i bought fried donuts.”

“get those detrimental calories away from me.”

“but they’re yummy :D”

“no.”

“come on just have a small bite for me.”

“y/n no--!”

➺ vil is a very supportive partner. he values and respects the hard work you went through just to master balance and grace. he would be there for your rehearsals and performances. if magicam had a story function similar to instagram, he would totally add you to his stories.

➺ being a ballerina includes inevitable bruises and wounds while practising. vil makes sure these instances are taken care of instantly. he cares for your physical wellbeing.

➺ dance practices with each other is one of your dates. he would catch you doing a grand jete and would smile in delight. like, damn look at his lover go.

➺ you're a sub mentor during the vdc.

➺ struggling to do a certain dance routine? vil is there to help you. we all know how strict he can be as a teacher and he’s no different when he’s helping you. you handled his teachings before anyways, there’s nothing new to it.

➺ he also uses that as an excuse to touch you (affectionately).

➺ imagine having his hands on your waist while he helps you posture properly during a certain step and then it wanders towards your stomach. the last thing you know he’s already hugging you from behind.

➺ if you’re a popular ballerina then it’s no doubt the paparazzi already caught wind of your relationship. vil would, one day, post a picture of you together and there you go, shippers everywhere.

➺ pomefiore students would be baffled by how flexible you are. you know those flexibility challenges on tiktok? you would definitely do that and the students would question if you have any bones. it’s possible you’re more flexible than vil, he’ll totally ask how you stretch during yoga.

“stretching that far back is scaring me,” he said, watching as you bent back while you sat in a front split. “be careful, you might break your spine.” you sat back properly, smiling at your boyfriend while you brought your legs back together. sitting doll-like while stretching your feet, “that’s my favorite stretching position. really helps with the back.” you stretched your arms this time, arms rising above your head before standing back up. vil simply sighed, knowing not to question the capabilities of a ballerina. you are far beyond your liege. his eyes wandered over to the shelf in the dance studio. there sat both your awards, his from modeling and acting, while yours are from your magnificent dancing. the real epitome of hard work.

vil’s mind began to wander at how far you two had gone-- until he heard a loud bang against the studio floor that his head snapped over to your fallen form. “ow…” you giggled while he clicked his tongue. “see, from stretching too much you got weaker. doing too much of one thing isn’t good.” his legs swiftly brought him to your fallen form. strong arms lifting you up bridal style towards a chair. “are you hurt?” he spoke with concern laced in his voice.

“this fall is nothing compared to how hard i’ve fallen for you though,” you shrugged.

“okay, that’s enough bonding with rook and epel,” he sighed.

“i love you though.”

“thanks.”

“vil! ow- ow okay okay i may or may not have bruised my knees--!”

ii. rook hunt

➺ most supportive boyfriend you had.

➺ it’s likely he fell for you after seeing you dance. would compliment you in the most poetic ways possible and even knows the words to ballet steps.

➺ his phone gallery and camera will be full of pictures of you. ranging from you in your ballet costumer to you during rehearsals yet in the most elegant pose you can do. you would think his wall would be adorned by your pictures too, but no, he has a corkboard just on the other side of his room with pictures of you.

➺ you bet, he’s there during your performances.

➺ would call for your help concerning the vdc since he knows you have potential that can help vil training the juniors. he really just wants you there since he, himself, gets tired from practicing yet he doesn’t show it.

➺ you accidentally kicked him on the face once you did a high split and damn, even with a bleeding nose, was he impressed. let’s not ask how you even kicked him, he just popped out of nowhere.

➺ if you were able to use a bow and arrow using your feet then… just imagine hearing a thump somewhere in the room because rook probably fell off a tree seeing that. that’s some hard ass skill to do and he just fell for you more.

➺ totally your videographer and photographer!!! taking confidence in your skills and looks considering you have to look fit and need to feed your fans with some content, rook would be your best go-to person when it comes to taking videos and pictures. he has got the best angles to capture your utmost beauty.

➺ people wouldn’t even question why rook is smiling while staring at a distance again. yet, as vil and epel had observed, his smile was more soft and sweet while he watched you suddenly dance in the school’s courtyard. he can’t believe you were actually his lover.

➺ is willing to run around and help you with what you need. leg warmers? check. water bottle? check. just as long as he gets to watch you perform he’s contented.

➺ if you have a performance outside of the country, rook would try his best to watch via social media but before you leave, he’s going to give you encouraging words and how he’ll miss you. when you come back home, you got, not only rook with a very proud smile on his face, but also vil (who apparently watched after seeing rook so immersed).

you cried and yelled awake as another cramp hit your calf. oh, those very painful cramps when you stretch your legs after continuous leg workout. rook was jolted awake by your screams and immediately sat up and bent your toes backwards. his hair disheveled and eyes panicked and concerned despite having sleepiness in them. “mon cheri...” his husky (still sleepy) voice called as you whined, feeling the pain immediately leave from the aid of your boyfriend. “are you alright?”

“sorry…” you sniffed, carefully adjusting your leg after rook had let go of your toes and laid back beside you. “that was your third cramp this week,” he spoke worriedly. half-lidded green eyes looking in concern. “aren’t you overworking yourself?” he asked. rook is, no doubt, a very supportive boyfriend when it came to your talents, but that doesn’t mean he’ll support the fact you're getting hurt and tired from overworking yourself. he has woken up to your screams of pain for three consecutive nights. he didn’t mind waking up to aid you, he’s just really worried unto why you’re even having cramps in the first place.

“maybe…” you mumbled, hiding your face on the crook of his neck, “scold me next time please… i don’t really like waking up to this or even disturb you from your sleep.”

rook chuckled quietly, whispering, “your dancing is one of the reasons i love you. but if i do need to watch out then i’ll call vil. i’ll be too immersed watching you dance to even notice.”

“rook,” you whined.

“alright, alright. now relax yourself, mon cheri. bonne nuit.”

iii. epel felmier

➺  is amazed at how high you jump and how flexible you are. he’ll attempt to do the same even though he has no idea how to do it exactly. when you mentioned it’s ballet, he went red and exclaimed, “t-that’s ballet…?!”

➺ remember when he complained to vil about the dane being meandering and girly and now he needs to do ballet? guess who he ran to.

➺ is actually quite skeptical that he may not look manly as he wanted to be but after you said that learning ballet can help with his muscles, he’s already bombarding you with questions.

➺ thanks to vil, both him and deuce already have ballet shoes. since they didn’t have to do a releve, it was just simply stretching and balance to teach.

➺ “epel, you need to look like a swan not a seal having an asthma attack.” “wHAt?”

➺ sure, you’re both in a relationship, but epel would still get flustered by your touches during dance rehearsals. like come on, he’s supposed to be the guy holding your waist to look attractive and not the other way around.

➺ even so, he’s thankful for your help. you’re not as ‘demonic’ (as ace would put it) as vil. 

➺ when he’s just watching you, damn, the admiration in his eyes was oiling your gears more. he really wants to be strong and you know even your talent can help him go where he wants to be with vil’s guidance as well. 

➺ deuce would downright be confused on how close you two are until you kissed epel’s cheek when he successfully spun without toppling over. the first year was dumbfounded.

➺ “all thanks to y/n!” he would cheer when vil pointed out epel’s improvement. man, seeing vil’s proud smirk and epel’s victorious grin-- you had to hold onto rook to avoid fainting.

➺ epel would want to have an innocent competition with you on who can spin the most without getting dizzy and he instantly lost while you’re still spinning. and you’re on a pointe.

➺ your magicam would be videos and photographs of him attempting and succeeding certain ballet routines or even just him practicing for the vdc. relationship goals and ace feels stupid about love.

➺ you would let him smack your ballet shoes (to soften them) on stairs or something if he’s pissed. at least your shoes will be easier to use. 

“shit, this is harder than i thought,” the first-year pants as he collapsed on the floor. you rubbed your nape, watching as deuce’s knees quivered while balancing on a board. “alright, enough you two,” you called and gave them water bottles. you assisted the both of them epel by removing his ballet shoes and there, your eyes softened. he hasn’t even experienced the full ballet course (like what you’ve experienced) and you can already see bruises and the evident veins prodding on his skin. 

“we’ll do some stretching tomorrow. you both did enough balancing for today. no legs shall be strained too much, who knows what’ll happen if you got injured during the duration of the vdc.”

“no, wait! i can do more!” epel persuaded as he stood up, only to wince and drop back on the floor after feeling the pain on his ankles. “see, that’s what i mean.” knowing the ice bags would come in handy, you approached your boyfriend and laid them on his feet. “you’re excelling enough, epel. do it more slowly. you were able to do a pirouette even without doing a releve and that’s already an achievement.”

you heard him sigh, watching his face grow solemn as he looked at his feet. “i just want to prove myself to vil…”

“and you’re proving yourself enough. he’ll see your progress and i can already see him being proud. all i did was guide you, you did all the hard work yourself and that’s what’s important to vil. chin up.” you smiled, pecking epel’s nose as he immediately looked away. his lips quivering to a small smirk before nodding. “t-then...i’ll make sure i can be strong enough to even beat vil! that’s my promise!”

poor deuce being a third wheel.

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twst #twst x reader #pomefiore #pomefiore x reader #vil schoenheit #vil schoenheit x reader #rook hunt #rook hunt x reader #epel felmier #epel felmier x reader #twisted wonderland headcanons #twst imagines #night raven college