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marchiveeee · 2 years

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"Kiss me angrily" - AL ep. 1 Armin's POV

First of all, I want to thank @lycorispoison for giving me this idea and making me write something after a long time🥺🤧 And I have to thank beemoov too for giving me the drama I needed to feel alive again.

Miu gave me this idea when they mentioned how similar Armin's and Candy's story was to this song here: Jão - Me Beija Com Raiva. So I HIGHLY recommend you to read this piece while listening to it on repeat, it's a good song :)

I have to note that I made some small changes to the order of the lyrics so it could fit the plot well. And there are some changes on the dialogues too, but again, nothing much.

It's been a long time, guys!! I hope you like it 😭❤️

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De sonhadores a inimigos

from dreamers to haters

Você tá indo, vai me deixar aqui perdido

you’re leaving, you'll leave me here lost

"You can be happy, then. That problem is solved." She had a frown on her face and the fire in her eyes would have surprised even Scott Summers, the Cyclops. She had her lips pressed together in a thin line and swallowed before continuing, "You're not a part of my life anymore."

The words came out of her mouth like a whip, breaking any kind of pride he'd been holding on to since he'd seen her, prettier than ever, some hours prior and after three long years apart. She might as well have slapped him right across his face, the effect would've been the same.

And the memories of that day, that damn day, came rushing to him. But he wouldn't show her any more of his vulnerability.

"Whatever, I get it." He said looking at her one last time before looking away and landing his gaze on one of the products showcased in the store they had just been kicked out. And there was he thinking they were starting to make progress again. Just a few minutes ago, they were playing and bickering as they did in the old times. His left hand still felt the shock of when their hands touched for a second before everything came crumbling.

"Have you seen my brother? I don’t want to leave without saying goodbye."

"I-I am here…" he heard the voice he knew so well coming from somewhere behind him and turned around to see his brother with that face he has when he's blaming himself for something. Watery eyes looked between him and his ex-girlfriend and the muscles in his law moved as if he wanted to say something.

“We were looking for you and…” The twin interrupted himself. “So… You’re leaving, that’s it?”

“Yeah, I gotta go home now, brother.” Armin walked toward the blue-haired man and gave him a pat on the shoulder before saying, “I have some work to do. I got a text.” he hadn’t gotten any text. “I’m sorry, I have to go. I’ll see you tomorrow or the day after…”

“Okay,” Alexy said lowly nodding and hugging his twin.

Armin gave his quick goodbyes to Rosa and Candy, barely looking in the direction of the latter, and turned around heading to the escalators with his head down. He just wanted to get back home as soon as possible and play until his eyes begged for some rest.

Armin walked at a fast pace along the corridors and was just halfway to where he wanted to get when he stopped in front of the game store. It wasn’t like him accepting a defeat so easily; leaving then would just make him a loser, he thought. So just like that, after taking a deep breath, he entered the store and went straight to the cheap side of the establishment where they displayed second-hand items.

Cê já contou pros seus amigos de nós?

Have you told your friend about us?

No chão do quarto, com nossos vícios

On the room's floor, with our vices

Going through the titles of some comics absently, the memories came to him again. He would never understand how things between them changed so fastly when everything was going just perfectly in his eyes. Seeing some of the characters on the cover of the comics reminded him of all the times they would be together on the floor of his “cave” discussing their stories, playing games, watching superhero movies, talking, laughing, kissing...

He loved seeing her face when she tried holding a laugh like she’d done a few moments ago, her lips curving barely curving upwards, and then giving up to his jokes. He loved to play with her hair, and loved when she played with his. He always complained about the way she played LoL, but he couldn’t be happier seeing her going crazy with the game. They were just so happy when they were together, so how did it end so fast?

É coisa pura, de tanto amar virou loucura

it's something pure, going mad from loving so bad

De tantas brigas, amargura entre nós

from all the fights, bitterness between us

He hated even the smallest hint of a fight and avoided it at all costs. So even if he would get jealous when seeing her with other guys, he trusted her, and he was happy for her because she seemed happy. And if he had had enough time, he would have been there for her to see her smile opening right in front of him in person, and not through a screen.

They did have some arguments once in a while because of that, but they weren’t so serious for him. He remembered Candy complaining about his absence, not much about his friend Agnes, but it was all going to be worth it after he managed to make the surprise. She would understand his side and they’d have their happily ever after ending.

Errei, larguei, não nego, não

I made a mistake, gave up, no, I won't deny

Mas lembra do que eu disse, então

But remember what I said, then

Amar é muito melhor que ter razão

loving is much better than being right

Luta por mim, desiste, não

fight for me, don't give up

The problem is, all his plans never came true. All his dreams faded away as if they had been blipped by that damned phone call. How could she give up so easily on that bond they’ve created between them? How could she give up on their love? Together they were like Peter Parker and Mary Jane, Star-Lord and Gamora, Han Solo and Princess Leia, and now Bonnie and Clyde; they were meant to be together.

Even after almost four years of being apart, he still strongly believed that. He’d had some casual things here and there, but he knew that none of them would ever be near to what he and Candy once had. Before her, he didn’t believe what people say about their first love, but now it was crystal clear to him; she was his first love, and let’s say that she really sat the bar up high to anyone else.

It started with them against the world until it became them against one another. But Armin wouldn’t give up, there was still a part of him that had faith, that told him to keep fighting for their love, that everything he’d done wasn’t for nothing.

Call him stupid, but that hope that everything would be alright again was what made him decide to keep the money and add a small number of his payments to it every month; now he had enough to upgrade the surprise, he only had to unlock the next phase. But this one was proving to be the hardest so far, and his willpower was starting to go down.

“Maybe it really would be better to go back home,” he told himself while turning around in the direction of the exit.

He was about to leave the store when he came face to face with the one person whom he had been thinking about all this time. Her cheeks were red, and he knew that she was about to yell at him, but right now he was hurt and the last thing he wanted was to spend the rest of his stamina on the fight that surely would come if they decided to talk. Strangely enough, he was the one to open his mouth first.

Joga tua verdade toda na minha cara

spit out all your truth on my face

“Candy? What… What do you want now?” He furrowed. “So you do everything in your power to make me leave and now you're following me?"

“What? This is a public space, right?” She raised he brows, her voice full of sarcasm.

"Creative, aren't you?" Armin said and started walking out of the store, he didn’t want an argument to start with and much less for everyone else to see it. Candy was fast to match his steps.

"You can't leave just like that! I deserve an explanation!"

"I already got it: I was lame, you were great and I don't deserve you," Armin said. He stopped in front of the elevators and pushed the button angrily before turning back to Candy.

"Can we move on or do you prefer to keep repeating this all day long?"

"I think I could repeat that all week long without you being able to understand it."

Armin looked at the ceiling and let out a long sigh.

"Look, I'm sorry. Alex didn't tell me you would be here. If I'd known I wouldn't have come." Because I didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable, he finished mentally.

She scoffed with an ironic laugh right when the lift doors opened. They gave space for the people who were inside to leave before entering and letting the doors close behind the two of them.

"You know, talking about your brother…” Armin gave a doubtful look at her, what was she going to say about him?

“We just had a little discussion. Actually, that’s why I followed you.” The man felt the air getting stuffier and tugged at the sleeve of his jacket.

He cleaned his throat, fiddling with his hat. “Oh, really. And what did he say exactly?”

“He told me everything, how you lied to me this whole time. You weren’t honest with me." She accused.

"Lied to you?" Armin repeated incredulously. He'd never done such a thing. "What are you talking about? And what did Alexy tell you? That’s not how things went." He shook his head and saw the anger growing in her.

"I'm talking about how you ruined our relationship over a stupid surprise. How you preferred hiding everything just to save a trip to fucking Disneyland!" She had her fists tight as if she was holding herself not to point a finger or push him, and her voice got higher and higher after every word.

Okay, Armin thought, so now I also have a traitor of a brother. He decided to push this thought to the darkest place of his brain, where he could easily forget about it at least for the moment.

They got out of the elevator on the floor level and just a minute after they passed through the front doors of the mall and found themselves crossing the parking lot in the direction of the bus stop.

"I'm trying to talk to you! Will you stop walking for a second?" Candy exclaimed.

Armin then stopped and grabbed her by the arm lightly, pulling her toward a spot where they wouldn't be hit by a car.

“Alexy said everything you did, that you did it for me… Right now I’m just asking you for an honest explanation. Do you still know how to do it? ” He was starting to feel his blood boiling inside him too. “Why did you think it wasn’t necessary to tell me? Frankly, I would really like to hear your side of things.”

He looked at her straight in the eye, frowning.

“Yeah, I get it. So what do you want? A confession?”

“I want to know everything.”

So he told her everything. How he had done hours of house cleaning, how he had accepted rotten works ar fast food and even done gardening to save money. He told her how he would spend hours finding collectibles and looking for opportunities to resell them at a higher price so he could put the money he won aside. And how bad he had felt for charging his friend for his help on her cosplay costumes.

“There, I confessed everything, are you happy? Yes, I wanted to surprise you.” He licked his dried lips for talking too much. “Is that a crime?! Should I have told you everything from the start?! Don’t you think that would’ve ruined the surprise? All I wanted was to do something special for you…We were away from each other for only a few months. I didn't think you were going to dump me so soon.”

There was a pause before he said, his head down, “And I don’t know. I thought it woulf be romantic…”

She opened her eyes wide, outraged, and seemed to hold back a chuckle but not like the way he missed seeing. “Romantic?! So?! Was it worth screwing everything up? We had something beautiful! We had a love story! Didn’t that matter at all to you? Wasn’t it a little more important than bringing me to Disneyland?”

“Hold on!” He felt the urge to interrupt. Hearing her talking like that about his plans was extremely frustrating for him. “Don’t act like it sucked either! Wouldn’t you have liked it? A week around Los Angeles, together?”

“I wish we had just two days together, anywhere.” She said shaking her head. “But that never happened! Excuse me if I got tired of waiting.”

“Again, we had only been apart for a few months. And you were able to come on your end! It allowed me to keep up the pace for Disney.” Armin didn't see where the problem was in all this. All this time, he had been thinking about them.

"Yes, that's the point! I traveled to see you only a few times and I had the impression I was the only one trying!"

The only one? She must be kidding

"I was exhausted! I worked my ass off trying to give us something special! But you didn't have the patience to wait! You didn't want to have it, so you just left me."

“But you didn’t even tell me what you were doing! Or why you did it! You left me in the dark and never told me anything!”

"I thought you trusted me! And that our relationship was solid enough! I'm sorry for thinking we had something serious…"

"But in a serious relationship, you talk to one another!"

"But they don't tell the surprises, that's literally the point! We don't talk about them!"

He noticed the girl getting closer to him, but he didn't move. Proximity was never a problem to him when it came to her.

“I didn’t give a shit about this. I just wanted to see you and spend some time together!” Her voice had a small shift to it as if the walls around her heart were cracking, and the hurt was showing its way out. “And I wanted you to come to see me often too. I wanted us to spend some time together laughing, playing games, making love… And you were worried about making a long-term plan to take us to Los Angeles?! Sacrificing everything else for this?”

His jaw clenched and he leaned forward in her direction.They were so close now, their faces only a few centimeters apart.

“This was important for me!” He argued. “I wanted to impress you, show that I was good enough!”

“But you were good enough!”

Como fodemos o maior amor do mundo?

How did we fuck up the greatest love in the world?

“But I knew nothing about all this, the only thing I knew is that you were never there for me. ”

For a moment, Armin broke their eye contact and looked down, maybe he was starting to understand. But he wasn’t going to drop it, he had a point and he wanted her to understand too.

“It’s only natural that I lost my trust in you, what else did you expect? How do you want a relationship to work if we don’t talk to each other?! Especially in a long-distance relationship? You didn’t give us any chance! When did you think that keeping secrets would bring us any good?” Candy stopped and for a second she just looked at him intensely with her brows furrowed. He didn’t say anything then but returned the look.

“I…” She took a long breath before continuing, “don’t even know what else to say. What you did doesn’t make sense!”

He wasn’t going to drop it.

“No, you have no right to say that!” he said, offended. “Yes, maybe I was awkward. It was my first relationship, we were both eighteen! I thought that a relationship, even if it was long-distance, must be something simple. It should be naturally pleasant for both people. And if it doesn’t work anymore, it doesn’t work anymore, that’s how it is.”

“But a real relationship is meant to be built together! With effort, and communication, above all! That doesn’t happen magically only because we were made for each other! And a romantic surprise doesn’t make up for months of absence!”

It was getting difficult for him to hold her gaze, without thinking he looked away and passed his hand through his hair.

“I am really sorry. I thought… I thought it would’ve been easier.” His voice sounded so low, that just then he realized how loudly they had been talking. It was crazy how no one had come to kick them out again, but this time not from a single store, but from the whole mall.

“That’s the first time I hear you wanting to play on easy mode.” Candy noted sarcastically. Her tone also had lowered.

“Hey! Dating you was no game for me!” How could she even think of that?

“So why did you make less of an effort, then?”

“You are being unfair! I made a lot of effort! A tremendous effort even!” Armin defended himself. “Do you think it was fun for me to accept all those difficult jobs? Buying stuff hoping I could resell it for twice the price. And asking a friend to pay me to help her?! Well, none of that was fun. I promise you!”

“In any case, you didn’t make the efforts I’d have liked you to make! The ones I needed!” She gave one more step closer to him, gasping a little bit. “You should’ve called more often. You should’ve taken more time to see me! And, most of all, you should have talked to me! Honestly, I didn’t think that would’ve been a problem in our relationship… For someone who’s so connected, you have to admit that communicating is not your forte.”

He opened his mouth to speak, but she didn’t let him. “ I just wanted you to be by my side!”

He took her arm before talking.

“You didn’t communicate very much yourself, I’ll have you know! That story you mentioned about the outings. I couldn’t have known that you absolutely wanted me to be there if you didn’t tell me.” He complained.

“I would’ve liked you to come on your own, to please me. And without me having to ask you!”

“But how could I have known!? Candy, I love Professor Xavier,” he smiled weakly, “but I don’t have his skills…” The girl shook her head, seeing disappointed about the comment

“You make beautiful speeches about communication, but in the end, you did the exact same.”

“But surely not on the same scale.” She pointed at him, “You were the one to ruin everything with your crummy plans and your ego. And I want you to recognize it.”

He looked around, caught off guard. “What would that change? There’s no one here to witness.”

“But I will know. I want you to say it.” She got even closer. “I want to hear you say clearly that you ruined everything between us.”

Her words were so harsh. He had never imagined having her talking to him in that tone.

“I would never say such a thing…” Armin shook his head. “ We did have a beautiful story. But I wasn’t the only one to ruin it all. I wanted to make a surprise for you and I chose not to tell you. Maybe it was stupid, okay. But when you called to break up… I didn’t understand.” His voice was so low, and they were so close, close enough to feel each other’s heat and breath.

“But even then, you should’ve said something. You could’ve defended yourself and not let me break up!”

“You didn’t give me time for that! You blocked me everywhere right after you hanging up on me!” Armin reminded her. “I was already in shock, but that broke me. The message was very clear. Plus, it’s much easier to say what I should have done or not.” He felt his heart struggling in the tight space inside of his chest, he wondered if it was just him; that feeling wasn’t usual to him. “Maybe you should have…”

Mas antes de ir embora, eu te impeço, para

but before you go, I stop you, stop

Sei lá se esse é o nosso último segundo

Who knows if this is our last second

In a split second, he saw the rage in Candy’s eyes come back. She gave a step further and raised her arms, he braced himself for the push that was coming for him, but it never came. Instead of pushing him, her hands grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled.

Então me beija com raiva, me beija com raiva

So kiss me angrily, kiss me angrily

Me beija com raiva, me beija com raiva

Kiss me angrily, kiss me angrily

And in a split second, just like a dream, their lips touched. After so long, he felt her warm soft lips pressed against his, her eyes were tightly closed.

He came to himself, finally reacting. That moment was real, definitely not a dream or an illusion, his heart was still racing in his chest, her heat against him, scorching. So, he too closed his eyes and kissed her back with the same force. His arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her even closer like he’d done so many times years before.

Their tongues met and the kiss deepened. It was fast, messy, and… angry. He didn’t understand his feelings at the moment, and he definitely didn’t want to.

They kissed angrily. Letting out all the hard feelings that had been trapped inside their chests for so long.

They kissed angrily to make up for the years lost.

It was like filling your lungs with air after drowning. He grabbed this moment and made the most out of it. So he kissed her back, angrily and deeply.

They kissed angrily until they were out of breath, and dizzy. But it only took another look into each other’s eyes to make their lips connect one more time. And once again, they kissed angrily, as if the world was theirs and it was about to end.

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SOOOOOO, what do we think about Armin's ego deflating gradually as the story goes? It's def something for me

AND MY HEADCANON! Yes, I made Armin a sucker and had him save that money after all those years.... Call me romantic, okay? Although after writing it I thought it wouldn't be very nice to go on the vacation that made the relationship come to an end..... or maybe not, who knows.

Don't forget to leave comments!!! They always inspire me to keep writing 🥺💕

That's it for now. Love you guys, and I hope you have a great day!

#armin mcl #mcl armin #mcl #amor doce #my candy love #corazon de melon #amour sucre #mcl headcanon #mcl alternate life #mcl fanfic #fan fiction #armin candy #armin cdm #armin amor doce

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