#because it stressed the hell out of me

[taeminnomuyeppeo]

doyoung: little light

#doyoung #nct #nct 127 #nctinc #useroro #userjsuh #itsnctsworld #leksietag #userjoanna #namjoonlisa #userresa #awekslook #usermarynia #mine #flashing tw #didnt know what tag to use omg #but anyway i hope we can all agree that this is a set #because it stressed the hell out of me

[ghastlyaffairs]

for something as trivial and simple those feelings sure are hard to get rid of

also made a gif a version for fun + alt version with no tears under the cut

the gif is in very low resolution...this is a feature (i could make it bigger but that would require saving each frame individually and than glueing it all together. also i feel like low resolution suits it better. aesthetically and fits the mood)

#hs #homestuck #dirk strider #eye strain #probably? if you think i should tag something else let me know!! #anyway hooray its time for rambling in the tags #so uhhh heres the teæ i've been sick for like a week and you know how it is when suddenly your throat becomes the main gunk warehouse #and you can't breathe lol. wish i could just pull it out. anywaaayy this is basically a vent piece for me being sick lol #also i could draw remotively the same thing with kris deltarune. oh how easy it is to project having a cold #though i have been also experiencing troubles with feelings recently as well....how fitting for dirk #speaking of the man himself (enough of me) his relationship with his own Heart...is peculiar to say the least #the thing i love about alphakids is that despite being so feral they were. so relatable. i cannot stress this enough how unwell they are an #and how they represented being a teen so well. yeah being 15 years old makes that to you #imagine being an emotional mess and trying to fit the 'norm' and act normal about your friends so youre not offputting #and then you fall in love with you friend and your ai clone falls in love with him too looool noone makes out of this one alive #uhh literally. godtiering stuff and dying remember #and speaking of it. tw for suicidal talk for the rest of tags #do you ever think dirk was suicidal. of course the part of when he teleports his head to jake was totally planned and he knew he would -> #wake up as dreamself but. don't you think the moment he cut his head off was sort of. cathartic. how much did he hate his own guts #beheading himself not only for the plan...but also because he thought he 'deserved' it #also wow he is a Prince and was literally beheaded don't you think its funny hahaa #sigh poor thing #this has ended on a not the very pleasant note hm #also fckkkkkk i didn't draw anything with rose/mary for the lesbian visabilty week #(putting the slash because tumblr search system has a dumb gag with showing you posts that contain the tag inside the other tag. #and i don't want this post to show up for the ros/mary fans because it's not!!!! its rose's father emotional crisis post!!!!) #update YOOOO WHAT THE HELL THE GIF HAS EVEN LESS PIXELS THEN I PLANNED fantastic #this your breakfast now tumblr. enjoy your crunchy flakes of dirks meltdown. mwah

[butchspace]

I guess I kind of just use this account for PSAs now, and this has been on my mind a lot lately.

I figured out that I have OCD a few years ago, and recently I’ve seen a lot of bad advice around dealing with intrusive thoughts and obsessions.

There’s that post that goes around occasionally about “taking pictures of your oven knobs before you leave” or other things I’ve seen that say to “make a weird face when you lock your door.” THESE ARE COMPULSIONS. If you have/suspect you have OCD or you often struggle with things like that, please do not follow this advice. Instead, try to accept your intrusive thoughts and move on, not argue with them. Over time, they will get easier and easier to deal with. Ruminating, stressing, or arguing with them just makes them worse in the long run.

If you think you might have OCD and want to seek a specialist, the IOCDF’s home page has a lot of resources under the “find help” tab, including a locator.

I’m going to put the rest under a read-more because I’m going to talk a bit more in depth about intrusive thoughts and compulsions. This mostly because good OCD info is so sparse on line, and I’ve spent many hours compulsively researching OCD lmao.

Content warning:

discussion of unreality/doubting one’s own perception

discussion of specific compulsions

I’m not going to push this point too hard or shame anyone who doesn’t want to follow it, because OCD doesn’t really just go away. It’s a constant struggle. I give in to compulsions regularly, even though I am medicated and have seen a specialist to learn actual coping skills. It’s hard to resist sometimes and you don’t always have the energy, the awareness, or the power to ignore them. You do what you have to do to get through your day. The main difference is that the right medication and the right therapist make it easier to stay out of the spiral and to leave a spiral when you’re in one. They still happen. You still kind of have to play everything by ear.

Similarly, it is super fucking hard to get help or even get diagnosed. No regular therapist actually knows what the fuck it looks like, and specialists are few and far between and often don’t take insurance. It’s not fair or easy or necessarily productive to try and do exposure response prevention on yourself. Your “good coping skills” can even turn into an obsession or compulsion, where you’re constantly worried about what is an intrusive thought and what is not, or if you’re responding to them properly.

What I want to do is try to give at least some useful advice to people who are struggling with intrusive thoughts.

The best way to respond to them is not at all. This is especially true with OCD, because the response to them is sort of the root of this disorder. Sometimes, it’s recommended that with depression or anxiety you challenge your thoughts. In OCD, it’s the opposite. Challenging them can so easily lead you down a compulsion spiral. (More about that cycle from a professional.)

Compulsions can be entirely mental, but I’ll use a common behavioral one to look at how engaging with compulsions can go:

You start by taking a picture of the your stove knobs to make sure they’re all off. That works for a few hours or days, but then you start wondering if the knob is ever-so-slightly in the “on” position. You wonder if the picture proves they’re off enough. You forget to take the picture at all, and have to go back in to check anyways. You check your phone a few times before leaving to ensure that the picture is still there. You take several pictures because you can’t tell if you actually took any at all. You start to wonder if you can even trust what you see before your very eyes. What if you’re just imagining that the knobs are set to off? What if you’re just imagining the whole picture to begin with? The picture allows you to engage with your checking compulsion throughout the day, strengthening the connection between the intrusive thought and the urgency to do something about it. That means it gets worse. That means you find new ways to doubt your perception or your memory or whatever.

It can eventually get really bad. It’s hard and awful to try and deal with this on your own, but sometimes you have to.

It’s so shit. It’s so fucking shit how long many people suffer with mental illness without even knowing what’s going on. I didn’t know that my constant, overwhelming guilt over almost everything I’d ever thought or said or done or maybe did and couldn’t remember was the result of a disorder. It was so freeing to realize there was actually something that might help me, and I could learn to just live with myself and my weird ass thoughts that don’t necessarily mean anything at all. It’s so shit that OCD-awareness is so low among therapists. I was never going to get diagnosed until I found an OCD SPECIALIST (bold, italicized, all caps. Don’t trust people on psychology today who just put OCD in the list of what they treat.) and went over the Y-BOCS with her. It’s all so shit that several therapists I came to with textbook examples of OCD either ignored me or didn’t have the tools to help. I told one of them I “didn’t feel connected to reality” and he kind just went 🤷.

I just want everyone who is in that/a similar situation to at least have this information available to them.

If you want to learn more, these blogs from Sheppard Pratt were the best discussion of OCD I found online that really described what I was going through. They’re written by licensed therapists, several (all?) of whom live with OCD. They’re very healing to read if this is something you’re struggling with, or something you think you might be struggling with, and great in general if you want to learn more about OCD.

Whatever’s going on, OCD or not, have some grace with yourself. Take a few minutes today and do something kind for yourself, even just think one nice thing about yourself. You’re doing the best you can.

#actually ocd #ocd #ocd awareness #do with this what you will but I stresses me the hell out when I see people #uncritically reblog posts suggesting new compulsions to people #because they worked on me and made my ocd worse #im sure a lot of those suggestions came from others with ocd so I’m not trying to come after anyone about this #I just feel like I don’t see a lot of discussion about this stuff in general and even in the notes on those posts

[danwhobrowses]

It shouldn't need to be said but I'm seeing a lot of vitriol towards Ashton about their actions and I have to say I don't agree with them.

At the clock tower Fearne brought up the shard, stated that in her opinion Ashton should take the shard because she didn't want it. Ashton decided then as a result they'd take it, but because it was an extreme risk made very aware to them all they knew the other Hells wouldn't allow them to go through with it. Ashton asked Fearne if she was okay with both of them going together alone with the plan, reiterating that they didn't want to put this on Fearne, that if they died Fearne would not be to blame, and that they have no intention of dying, and Fearne said yes.

Fearne having second thoughts at the Ziggurat was just worry, because she cares deeply for Ashton, Ashton kissing her was not manipulation either; it was letting go of fear, having no regret with the person they also care deeply for and taking the risk. And yeah, it was frightening, 10 rounds of perpetual fiery near-death situations and one actual death situation; Laura is fuming, Ashley cannot look, Liam is playing Mad World on loop in his mind, even Matt is completely on edge, but they survived. Accusations that Ashton manipulated Fearne to selfishly take the shard seem to misinterpret the shard saga as well as Fearne and Ashton's characters, they will get a very intense amount of chastising for sure, but it will be out of love, out of the fear that they were going to lose them, not because they thought Ash was manipulative.

#critical role #bells hells #ashton greymoore #taliesin jaffe #fearne calloway #ashley johnson #laura bailey #matt mercer #Ashton literally is comprised of things that shouldn't exist of course they're gonna not heed warnings when Fearne didn't want it #the group are stressed but I don't believe there's heat #if I recall 4sd is aired after an unaired episode so Tal Travis Matt and Ashley were happily vibing from that despite having already played #Tal and Ashley agreed on this gambit they just underestimated how bad it'd go #and I would wager that Tal knew he could lean on the ring to save Ashton at least once #overall no I don't think Ashton intended to manipulate or hurt anyone and in trying to shoulder it alone they were trying to be selfless #but reminder Ashton is 6 charisma they aren't gonna express their intentions too well #the Hells are rightfully so mad for making them worry but in the end they're just gonna be grateful Ashton's alive #also I have to make a point that Fearne said 'I shouldn't have listened to you' not 'I shouldn't have trusted you' there's a big difference #and Tal hasn't tried to wriggle or bargain out of it he's had Ashton accept all frustration because they know it's from a loving place #critical role spoilers #sorry for multiple edits I keep seeing me unconsciously use he/him and I have to fix it plus I have more to say but nobody to say it to

[puppyeared]

ive made myself more wet and pathetic

#new icon because im SUFFERING. im in HELL #its so bad. i had to sign out of discord so now im both lonely and stressed #because i KNOW im still gonna get dstracted. i just did making this URGH #how good are brains at working around things. i once set a 7AM alarm on my phone with snooze cause i was so sure my brain would #be too lazy and keep snoozing instead of actually turning it off. but nay it either kept sleeping through the alarms and snoozing #or actually managed to turn off the alarm half awake that i barely remembered it and then waking up late #i actually have a track record of climbing out of bed and turning my alarm off without remembering. which is impressive bc i have a loftbed #the other thing is setting fake deadlines so make myself panic into doing things ahead of time. but unfortunately that doesnt work either #because if theres one thing my brain will put all its energy into remembering its self assurance. meaning i WILL be able to remember #the real deadline even if i try to trick myself. cant ask someone to give me a fake deadline either #the only things keeping me going rn is that i have deadlines due at least 1 day between each other and excitement being able to talk with #crow after break. but you can see how well thats going <- ignores long term rewards in favor of short term pleasure #BTW CROW IF YOURE READING THIS IM SO SORRY TURNING OFF MY DISCORD WITH BARELY ANY EXPLANATION #im a huge fucking dumbass and i had barely enough impulse control not to block everyone in my dms because i realized that would send a real #really bad msg. youre not distracting me im distracting myself and i promise youre not annoying me i just really like talking to you and #thats why im just barely stopping myself from signing in. I WANT TO TALK TO U LOTS BUT AT THE SAME TIME IM KICKING MYSELF FOR DOING IT #you can be a little mad at me btw cause i definitely could have done that better but i was all over the place abt how to do it without #making u think im ignoring you. IF THAT MAKES SENSE. SORRY #yapping #doodles #puppysona #edit but last week i tried to schedule and give myself work periods and break periods using my class schedule #and reminders on my phone to tell me when to start and stop. can you guess what happened

[threefuckencrowsinatrenchcoat]

Hi ppl who are nosy and want to know ur grades so they can judge how smart u are are annoying as fuck

#this is ab a guy from my math class who just texted me #I’ve never even spoken to him before he just asked what I’m averaging in that class #I didn’t tell him cuz I’m honestly not doing as well as I want to be and it’s a super competitive class #and so he starts asking ab all my extracurriculars #and the programs I’m applying to #and I’ve been so stressed over this because I don’t even know myself #so I don’t want some random fucking stranger interrogating me #and he goes ‘most people in the class are failing’ cuz only one person is averaging 100 #‘the smartest guy in the class is only averaging 98’ well clearly he’s not the smartest but also 98 is amazing and I wish I had that #I’m going to punch him when I see him tmr get the hell out of my dms bro #vent post #mathblr #mathematics #math #grades #school #high school #irritating

[runawaymun]

.

#sorry let me rant real quick in the tags #cw personal #once again hitting an insurance pothole bc the psych says she accepts my OHP plan HOWEVER the therapy group she is contacted with says #THEY don't #they only accept the insurance if it's through my employer but NOT through the government?????????????? #so there's still some kind of payment??? #anyway I want to scream why is this so complicated #like will she take my insurance or not who's right here #anyway called her back directly and went to voicemail so now I've done all I can for now #why the hell is this so hard man #the person on the phone didn't know really how to explain #once again no one knows what they're talking about #like can y'all not communicate and figure this out? #AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #i need to get an ADHD eval before my next PCP appointment in june so that they will continue giving me my meds #and the psychiatry through the hospital has a limited number of visits that insurance will cover #*contracted #not retyping all of that #and once again the only reason this is so stressful is because the psychiatry group at the hospital fumbled the communication ball last tim #and the psychiatrist I was with never put the ADHD on the chart #and now somehow it's MY responsibility to fix that> #UGH #like I am grateful to have some kind of coverage but holy shit is the US healthcare system in shambles #the bureaucracy is INSANE #i had to just sit down and put my head in my hands for a second #and then go 'right okay nothing i can do about that rn moving on' #uGH #literally said 'what the FUCK' out loud a couple times #like not on the phone after I hung up obvs

[ghost-of-you]

I got the best friends in this place...

#5sos #5sosedit #michael clifford #calum hood #luke hemmings #ashton irwin #my edit #vids #PLEASE LOOK AT THIS BECAUSE THIS WAS HELL TO MAKE AND HELL TO POST #please watch it #you can yell at me over it #i don't mind #JUST PLEASE THIS WAS TOO STRESSFUL NOT TO GO ANYWHERE #IM BEGGING YOU #no but really i set a few rules about the clips i was gonna use and i legit ran out of footage that fit the criteria #and had to expand lol #this was legit so much harder than anticipated #god what i wouldn't give for raw footage #id be too powerful kspsksoskosksos #anyway #i hope you like this

[forcedhesitation]

*wheeze* slowly, but surely, working on art of them all

#bg3 #myart #wip #I want to make every tav/companion pairing I have a dedicated. fancy piece. #these started with a concept for a wyll drawing that was very...storybook! inspired. #I would have been done all the linework for these two pieces by now had my weekend gone better :/ #I was violently unwell for...about a week and a half? chronic illness bullshit. had started to feel better friday of last week... #...unfortunately fate had it that the weekend ended up being particularly stressful. so the pain returned anew. #it was. somewhat better today. but still not enough for me to really be productive in my free time :( #I will try to complete the linework tomorrow if all goes well. I really would like to start colouring them! #I have delightful colour schemes chosen... #gale/illamin piece has already been sketched in a notebook. once I finish these two- I will begin lining theirs! #illamin's connects to cadence's because they're intertwined like that. but I have yet to finish planning out cadence's piece. #I've gone back and forth on who I should romance with him...the thing with any of the companions is that they are all written to be- #-immensely compatible with each other. so writing a tav FOR a specific companion is a bit hard. often the tav could fit with any of them. #hell. I'm STILL working out details of jantar and corydalis' story & characters. because I can't be normal about this. #that aside- I DO have other. finished pieces...finally. #well. I had some long before... but I didn't want to post them because I wasn't happy with them. #so I went and finished new stuff that I DO like. #4. technically 5 drawings. all horror/horror adjacent in theme. #my extremely detailed hux painting is also NEARLY done. after months upon months of work. #and I continue to slowly chip away at the big scifi themed dbd piece I've had in progress. #I really never run out of things to draw and it's a bit torturous because I never have the time or energy to draw everything...

[drwafton]

Hehe...

Hiiiiiii Walnut, hope you don't mind the sneaky couch photo.

#we're watching a movie. #don't worry walnut I didn't read anything here #//ooc: i made a sketch to get stress out of hell week (finals week). i didn't get to finish it as you see here because i had to leave early #//might post a mia sketch soon too. watch out for the next post. pray for me and hell week. #That's Not My Neighbor #TNMN #Roleplay #Queued post

[chimerical-waters]

Where has the fishboy gone? Is he dead? D:

"It's been a while...Sorry for the silence."

(( Chi and Rozy are now available to answer asks.))

#chimer #myart #minecraft #minecraft oc #(( I had big plans for an update to bring this blog back because the last year since ive really touched it has been hell)) #((hiatus has been waaaay longer than i intended)) #((mental and physical health issues)) #((but the anticipation and expectation to make it huge just stressed me out)) #((Ill reveal more of what happened with Chi over time instead as i have the art for it drawn already)) #((but for now hes back!)) #((with a newcomer >:) )) #((sorry for the extended break though and thank you to everyone who bore with me)) #((love yall))

[running-in-the-dark]

kinda disappointed with how this weekend went. I mean, it wasn't bad! but it was our first weekend in the new apartment, and I/we wanted to get a lot done. I already did a lot during the week (a lot for me, not a lot for most people I guess), but there's lots of things that I can't do/can't do on my own, either because I'm too short or not strong enough or I need someone else to hold something or whatever. which realistically just won't get done during the week because my husband works full time, so. it sort of sucks that only one very small, unimportant thing got done. 😔

#like. there's no rush. not really. #I mean we do get our kitchen in two weeks so we'll have to have space to install it then lol #but other than that it's fine #except everyone constantly makes me feel like it isn't. #they're so judgmental and shitty about it #yeah it's chaotic and messy as hell. there's boxes everywhere. we've only found some of our kitchen stuff so we're mostly eating microwave #meals with plastic utensils. all of that stuff #so fucking what? it doesn't affect any of them! I wish they'd just stop commenting on it but they don't. #well. at least it's just over the phone now. I haven't seen my or my husband's family since we moved in and I'm not planning to anytime soon #precisely because they will not stop doing this no matter how I react to it #like in what world would that ever do anything good? it doesn't motivate me to get shit done any faster. because guess what? I'm already #going as fast as I can. #like. I've had (maybe still have) a middle ear infection and been on antibiotics all week and I still got so much done! that's good enough #and this part is fun to me! I like that nothing is finished and everything is possible and new and different #it does also stress me out but so far it mostly feels like an adventure #anyway. I'm just venting but seriously why is everyone I know irl so mean all the time?! #personal

[coffit0]

Does anyone know if there's a way to use a previous version of Tumblr on movile orz I accidentally updated it and it's SO BAD

#genuinely it's stressing me out omfg I CANT GO TO PREV TAGS #the search function doesn't even fucking work and now I can't go back to old posts of mine without scrolling through months worth of posts #small rant but its been hell on earth trying to use the two social medias I use the most (twitter and tumblr) because both suck ASS rn #you got tumblr doing god knows what and you got twitter fucking being X and feeding content to train AIs #and its making me so aaaaa because i feel like i have nowhere to go I dont have a place to share my art anymore :[ #i feel like I sound very silly but it's been a hostile couple of months I wish to go back to fish please and thank you

[kozidraws]

.

#I've never been ghosted by one of my jobs before #I've emailed and tried to contact them and they won't reply at all #let alone give me any shifts #it's gonna be awkward as hell but I'm going to see them in person #because 10 days in a row with no shifts from either jobs is stressing me out

[sqlmn]

OC RNG stuff.

-Lucinda is engaged to the oldest prince in a family of nine where there are 8 brothers and then the youngest is the only girl. She adores her future husband. -Ink Blot is a really dumb mage who acts as a street performer using fake magic despite being an actual mage. He just wants to be the center of attention. -Ruby and Luce are from the same plot (thank you RNG I love the dream wardens). They're part of different pairs and basically just patrol to keep dreams in check. Ruby and Luce also don't really meet each other in canon. Their routes don't overlap but they both interact with the main duo which is Colette and Marcus. (Ruby wants to beat Marcus up while Luce wants to kiss Marcus for what it matters.)

#i really love luce hes just so calm and collected in front of marcus and colette to try and look reliable #but hes actually one of the younger wardens who is made to replace his partner's old partner #so hes with sil and sil is just watching him for the first decade like why is he so awkward #when will he warm up to me or the other wardens he meets why is he always so tense #and then something happens and luce is sent into a panic because he learns that marcus used to laugh with sil and the retired warden #hes like ???? WHY DOES HE HATE ME ? WHAT DID I DO? and sil is like the guy is older than me and doesnt do change well #thats all there is to it he got used to my old partner and youre a wrench in the comfort zone hell get over it tho #and when marcus laughs for the first time in front of luce it is SO over for luce he would do anything for marcus #but then you get marcus who is telling colette i have to say things took an unexpected turn with sils partner #i went from fine with robert to being abandoned by robert to do you think luce is cute cause i think hes cute #and marcus is very much IM SO GAY which is fair cause colette is like MM YEAH SAME #and then you guys gotta realize i love my silly lil prince group where the oldest bro has a really cool future wife #and then the second oldest is like hey bro im stealing your wife for the afternoon and lucinda is like i see i see #and then the second oldest and lucinda just spend the entire afternoon dancing and shes happy to indulge him #then the third oldest is the original main one where he and the castle witch are on a mission to help another kingdom #but like the fact the oldest has an arranged marriage with a woman he loves #and the second youngest is in love with the son of two castle aids #who happens to be 40 and very worn out with stress from having to turn the second oldest down all the time #then the third oldest has a crush on a prince from the kingdom hes trying to help but the crush is on like an 18 year old #so the 2nd and 3rd oldest are constantly bickering over what the other sees in their crushes #anyway hi i love my ocs (gestures to them) #and ink was a really minor character in the plot bc it was mostly me paying attention to a dumbass vampire #and this thief who had to help the dumb vampire get home bc he has no sense of direction and had been abducted

[seaquestions]

its my last day b4 im off again and i have to work with the one coworker i genuinely cant stand.. but its ok one hour left until her shift ends…..

#incoherent turtle noises #i feel bad that i dont like her cause she likes me quite a lot. because i dont stress her out. which is nice! but. boy. #shes always complaining abt the same things & she takes everything everyone says or does to her so so personally. #and like. girl i get it. but please i cant sit here yes and-ing you for 4 straight hours. #and no matter how much i try. every time we work 2gether she Always brings up how she isnt happy here and how she doesnt like our manager. #‘nobody likes him even [ ] doesnt like him’ whadda hell.. i like him… he’s not even rude man ur just hung up over one criticism