Tumgik
#but elves can have more than one haircut
heyclickadee · 6 months
Text
Weird confession, probably an unpopular opinion, but: I actually like a lot of the concepts and basic designs behind the costumes in the Rings of Power series more than I like the concepts and basic designs behind the costume in the PJ Lord of the Rings films (with the costumes for the rohirrim and the people in Gondor being the exception). Don’t get me wrong, the costumes in the PJ Lord of the Rings series look amazing. They’re gorgeous and, on the whole, better made than the Rings of Power costumes. It’s just that the there’s something very dungeons and dragonsy about the PJ Lord of the Rings costumes (especially for the elves), and I know that’s because there was a twenty year feedback loop where there was a slight DnD-ness to the PJ Lord the the Rings elf outfits which then just became standard Elf Clothes in LOTR fanart which then fed back into the people making art for the DnD handbooks, but still. And I’ll admit I’m biased—it just so happens that that aesthetic is one I don’t particularly like. So seeing the costumes in Rings of Power make a clean break from that was really refreshing. And they mostly look like clothes people would wear. And I love the ideas in the designs! Elrond’s brown cloak with the feathers? That’s a sweet little tribute to his mom. The gold dust makeup on Disa’s hands and her robe (which honestly looked better in action than it did in the promo shots)? Neat concept. Tar-Miriel’s crown (and all of her outfits, actually)? Stunning. I’m in love. I just wish the designers and costume makers had been given all the time they needed to really make every costume look as good as they probably looked in their heads.
7 notes · View notes
howtofightwrite · 3 days
Note
Hi fight writer! Longtime follower, I always enjoy seeing your work and the situations people put their characters in. X3 Could I ask you to look over an element of character backstory for me, to see how realistic it is?
Character is an itinerant-knight sort of fellow, fantasy setting, elven. He's missing a chunk of his ear on one side, having lost it in a fight -- but not in the usual way of getting it sliced. It's the reason he swears by using a helmet and will not let any of his students go ahead into battle without head protection. The premise I had was that somebody gave him a blow to the side of the head and the helmet he was wearing crumpled from the force, pinning the ear between skull and metal. When the helmet was peeled off, a chunk of the ear came with it, or was basically so pinched off and dead that it had to be amputated anyway. (It also gave him a whopper of a concussion, of course. ^^;) But if he hadn't been wearing the helmet? It wouldn't have just been the ear, it would have been the whole top of his head. Wear your helmets, kids.
Do you think the helmet would have had to be damaged in some way beforehand for this to happen? Or be of shoddy make? Or would the opponent have to be supernaturally strong? Thank you!
So, this question has been sitting in the inbox for a bit, and part of that is that I've had difficulty parsing the question. There's a few reasons for this, but a major element is how much of the above comment isn't part of the question.
I get that most of this is a setup for a simple, “what do you think of my idea?' and those are questions we generally avoid, simply because, “thumbs up, it works.” Or, if there are serious problems, it feels like punching down.
So, in answer, “it's fine.” You don't even really need to justify it with other factors. Someone swinging a hammer at your head can result in your head protection failing. I think we can safely scratch off the supernatural strength option, simply because that's more likely to turn the character's head into an improvised golf ball, rather than taking out an ear. This is a weirdly specific injury, but it's also the kind of injury that could, potentially, happen on the battlefield.
Ironically, the weakest part to this concept is just that a combat veteran wouldn't automatically value head protection unless they'd suffered a disfiguring injury which would have been dramatically worse if they weren't wearing a helmet.
Helmets get into a weird place for a lot of writers. A lot of visual media hates putting characters in helmets (even when they really should be wearing one), because it hides the character's face. There is a legitimate concern here (specifically in visual media), because if multiple characters are wearing uniform helmets, they will become visually interchangeable, so skipping the helmet is about keeping the characters more recognizable. This creates a situation where, in a lot of cases, a helmet is treated like an alternate haircut option, completely glazing over the part where it's extremely important safety equipment.
To a certain extent, the treatment of helmets as cosmetics also extends to the entirety of a character's armor. You see this anytime you have partially armored characters going into battle. In some cases, there may be legitimate reasons for omitting specific armor pieces, and not having the resources to be fully armored is always a real possibility, but skipping the head or torso armor are extremely questionable decisions.
The, “pinched off,” comment always struck me as a bit strange. It sounds like the ear was held away from the skull, with part of the helm inserted between the ear and skull, rather than held up against the head. This would be a bad idea, and a structural weakness, though depending on the exact physiology of your elves, it might not be possible for them to pin their ears against their skull. In which case their armor would need to be specifically designed around their physiology. That might mean a much broader helmet structure. For example similar to something like large flared guard on Japanese helmets, or even the ACH. Depending on the overall tech level, it's possible that the best solution would to simply have ear holes in the helmet, though this could result in a situation where ears could be cut off on rare occasions.
I suppose there'd also be some consideration for rigidity and how uncomfortable it would be to bind down their ears under a helmet. So there might be some kind of structural cutout to accommodate their ears, but again, you really wouldn't want your ears being encased in metal away from the head. Even in the worst case, with horizontal ear tips, you'd probably see helmet designs that fit over the ear, possibly even leaving the underside exposed for better hearing, rather than full metal encasement.
Ironically, having just brought up the ACH, the one place where fully encased ears wouldn't surprise me is with electronic headsets. Though, again, that's more likely to be plastic and softer materials, and would likely fit over the ear and seal against the scalp, rather than just encasing the ear itself.
Also, he'd be partially deaf in that ear. This is not, “deaf by human standards,” but impaired hearing by elven standards. Unless their ears really are just magical, and the tips are performative, it's extremely likely that their ear structure would result in improved hearing, and that's something he would lack if most of the external ear had been destroyed.
-Starke
This blog is supported through Patreon. Patrons get access to new posts three days early, and direct access to us through Discord. If you’re already a Patron, thank you. If you’d like to support us, please consider becoming a Patron.
64 notes · View notes
bugstung · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
(Pretty much) All my headcanons and symbolisms for my EmpiresSMP designs!
With some further detailling about some stuff under read more
Season 1
Pixl: Watchers are not some big bad evil Gods, but astral spirits watching over the worlds. As they See everything, they are often linked to the Vigil (as well as people given the gift of prophecy)
The life symbol was added after his alliance with Joey
Joel: A terracotta statue given life from the Mother Tree, he's flesh and bones (because magic), but him (and all the Mezalea habitants) returned to their statue form when Joel died of grief.
He does have other clothes to work in, but you're practically never going to see him in those.
Some other Mezalea headcanons
Jimmy: Most witches come from the swamp, and he's one of them. They specialize in potions and talismans.
Hair are important to codfolks, the act of brushing or braiding them are used in certain spells, thus why most codfolks don't have short hair.
His appearance is also more wild looking than before because of his slow transformation into a God.
The Cod Alliance gifted each other jewelries to remind and protect each others.
(Pixl and Joel's jewelries are under their clothes as necklaces)
Wizards vs Witches
Coldfolk culture and more
Some more codfolk thoughts
Tumblr media
After killing a certain amount of salmons, codfolks get a tattoo of dead salmons somewhere on their body.
Pearl: Similarly to Mythland, they see physical activities and fights as important (mostly for work but also protect themselves from ennemies).
I. don't have anything from Shrub I'm sorry I didn't watch her and I don't know her lore very well
Gem: Gem and fWhip grew up together to be wizards in the Crystal Cliffs, pressured to be perfect by their elders. Gem turned out to be naturally talented at magic, so everything rested on her shoulders.
She still keeps a lot of her strict education, but tries to make a change in the stressful wizard society.
Tumblr media
She has a ring to represent the WRA (and another for magic channeling), and lots of scars from magic experiments.
Hair and the Geminitays
Wizards vs Witches (again, but it's important for Gem and fWhip lore)
fWhip: As said in the posted linked above, fWhip failed the wizard exams (he doesn't have any magical powers) and ran away in the newly founded Grimlands. His ingenuousness made him Count of the Grimlands. The Grimlands do not do magic. They mix science, engineering and alchemy instead. Symbols similar to sigils (or those of alchemy) are often seen engraved in their creations.
Tumblr media
The deepslate corruption gave him wings, but they were not strong enough to fly so he has prosthetics to help him fly
Tumblr media
He's actually quite clumsy, and ended up with lots of scars, and a missing hand:
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Joey: (clearer design of his crown, made to ressemble the pharmacy snake thingie)
Tumblr media
He bleaches his own hair.
He bleeds gold, and his scars are golden as well from his over use of Totems of Undying
Tumblr media
Him being an avian allowed him a easy access to the Lost Empire. He wears the Ocelot print to look a bit more like its habitants.
Also his spit has healing properties.
Sausage: Mythland and Magic
Blood sheeps are sacred, but also feared, thus the fur to protect the citizens a bit from them.
Sausage lost his eyes when sparring with fWhip when younger. fWhip made him the eye prosthesis, and Gem enchanted it. May or may not have become corrupted in the whole Xornoth thing so they did another one for him.
Tumblr media
Scott: I surprisingly do not have much for him. His cape can turn into wings. He stopped being able to do that when his ice powers showed up because they froze.
Tumblr media
Very strict haircut, elves must be tidy and proper all the time.
Lizzie: She adapted rather well to her transformation, mostly changed her clothes for better swimming. Joel jokingly made her a bracelet to replace her now too small ring "in case she grows again", but she wears it seriously.
S2 Joel has very similar clothes to her because of faint memories.
Katherine: Yeah I fucked and forgot to color her inking, she was supposed to look like this (I noticed too late and never bothered to correct it)
Tumblr media
Katherine has this whole "I want to be friends with everyone" that I associate with lambs, thus her ears and hooves. She's a fae with some weird morals.
SEASON 2
I have wayyy less for season 2, especially for the empires themselves.
fWhip: Goblins are direct descendants from the Grimlands (and a few from Crystall Cliffs), that hid underground after the explosion. They kept digging and exploring the caves until they found a place to settle. The green skin, cat like paws and eyes are from them adapting to living in caves.
Food is very important to them, they eat several times a day, and often have banquets. They also kept the Grimlands technique of blacksmithing, but adapted it for gold.
Jimmy: Yeehaw he's a cowboy. Not much to say ngl, I do headcanon him as a werewolf depending on the day.
Tumble Town heard cows, but also creepers (where do you think they get that gunpowder from!!) (headcanon from @doodleshrimpsad). Also, cats are sacred there
Pixl: He's got some magical and futuristic technology making him able to see builds and events from the past.
Got some knees problems, thus the cane. It has sigils on it that he wrote himself based of books from old times (I'm thinking they're sigils from the Cod Empire and the Grimlands)
I desperatly need to think about more about Pixandria, and how tf David (or at least a newer version of it) arrived at the Ancient City.
Joel: Yeah he got top surgery and got a cool tattoo of laurels, but he also bleeds gold and his scars are golden. God don't bow to human rules anyway.
The braid come from a habit he can't doesn't remember getting. it feels important.
Lower Stratos got a lot of rituals, prayers and offering but I haven't figured those out exactly. Just know that I associate s2 Joel with Dionysus a lot so expect similar stuff /sweats/
False: I have literally no idea what's going in her empire, and even less in her lore. The hp name put me off so. Idk. Cool clocks. She got a prosthetic leg.
Sausage: I haven't gotten to his lore part of his videos so idk his backstory. But he does have a cape that ressemble parrot wings because jungle, animals yadda yadda
Scott: He was actually due a redesign that I haven't gotten to yet so.
Tumblr media
The outfit I've drawn him in that lineup is an everyday look, while the costume is for empires meeting or exploring.
Oli: Silly bard, his hat has faling strings that reminded me of floppy bunny ears and I thought it was cute. He bleaches his hair.
Got a lot of magic in his songs, people often stops by at his Kingdom just to hear sing and dance. They're a bit hypnotic and people seem to feel better afterwards.
Katherine: That's her monster hunter clothes. She still wants to keep it cute so pink skirt it is. That would be her normal clothes (it's like reverse magical girl, her poofy dress is her everyday dress)
Tumblr media
Shelby: I do not have much for her (again), but I can link my Wizard vs Witches post again because it has my headcanons of why witches have academies now.
After all the complicated spells, she likes to do simple fashion magic. Tying a knot or a bow is to seal a spell, so she uses them a lot to do some simple protection spells on her clothes.
Pirate Joe: He's wearing lots of stolen jewelries, some may be enchanted, some may be cursed. Who knows? Not him.
The gold earring come from that belief among pirates that having a golden earrings gives you a better eyesight ( it's from a acupuncture point, and for some, wearing gold in the proper pierced place would help your eyesight).
Katherine did that braid in his hair, and Joe (like cod folks and crystal cliffs habitants), believes that braiding someone's hair means they will fall in love with you.
Gem: I'll have to link back that link about Hair and Geminitays as it got everything I got for her. She sometimes fight with Katherine about hair and its importance. My start of headcanons kinda got crushed because she's linked to hc Gem so idk what to do with her or her kingdom anymore.
Lizzie: She's got her mask to hide her cat face, but her bow is actually a charm hiding her other cat features. The mask is just to be sure.
558 notes · View notes
Text
This is just me rambling about the lotr musical I just saw spoilers for the watermill theatre production of lotr!!
In no particular order
HOLYMOLY THAT WAS SO GOOD ARRGGRGReatsit
First off I was expecting a new musical (for context there was another musical first performed in 2006 I think) BUT IT WASNT at least the songs weren't I'm not sure about the script since its insanely hard to find anything on it APART from the songs, they can be found online even on Spotify! Point is I thought it was a new one BUT THEN THEY STARTED PLAYING ROAD GOES ON AND MY ASS FELL OFF ISTG Seeing that og musical has been a DREAAAM OF MINE BUT THEY DON'T PLAY IT ANYMORE OR SO I THOOOOOUUUGHT
The music is insane actually it's so good!!!
When I saw the elves and realised they wouldn't have long hair unless the actor already did I was a little nervous since I just find its difficult to portray elves without the iconic long hair BUT MY GOD THEY'RE GOOD I don't know what these guys did compaired to the short hair elves of lotr prime BUT IT WOOOORKS legolas was perfect and GALADRIEL the actress has stage presence if I've ever seen it!!! She had this for lack of a better word fuck ass bob with a gold wreath thing and a PANT SUIT SHE'S MENTAL I LOVE HER!!!
Her voice is insane there was a moment where a group of people all sang together and they seemed to be singing at the usual stage level right but here voice just boomed iver the whole group it was amazing! She was so loud but she did it well!! I find often when people sing that loud it's like shouting but not in a good way, she was SINGING it was beautiful. She captured galadriels aura and power so well every time she was on stage I just wanted to stare at her.
aragorn was so GOOOOD he also sounded a lot like Orlando bloom to me lmao. His outfit was actually perfection and his haircut??? HE HAD this shaved sides thing going on and???!?!?! I THINK I LIKE IT MORE THAN MOVIE ARAGORN DARE I SAY???
Don't even get started on arwen dude. THE COSTUME DESINERS DID AMAZING WITH HER DRESS AND THE ACTRESS CAPTURED HER SO WELL her ethereal feel with a slight bit of young wonderUUuGGHHhHh screams. Her voice is also actually insane I'm chewing bark.
Frodo was done so wellLLLLLLL the moments when he got taken over by the ring were so distinctly not Frodo!! The actor switched between the two moments so flawlessly!! It was like he was playing two people.
AND SAAAm what a sweetheart he is he's perfect in every way can do no wrong ever ever!! His voice was so pretty I'm gonna goble him up for real. Also I think he got slapped in the face?!? I couldn't see it perfectly but that slam sounded very real with the noise so I wouldn't be shocked. Dedication woa.
GIIIMLI meow meow meow he's so good bald king<<<3333 HIS OUTFIT?? punch me in the face please thanks. Bro his face when legolas was being sassy to him MF said >:000 I LOVE HIS PORTRAAAAAAIIIL UGggghhhHHH he's perfect in every way everyone stay back from my bald king RAAAA
Boromir my pookie gone too soon <333 his outfit was so good his actor was so good EVERYTHING WAS SO GOOD UUUGH Meow when he held frodo wrists to get him to stay I was like 🤨🤨🤨🤨😏😏😏 LOTR MUSICAL IS JUST FULL OF HOT PEOPLE
OMGOD GANDALF UUUGH HE WAS AMAZING idk why I thought he's be played by a younger guy in makeup?? Getting an actually older actor makes way more sense and HE WAS AMAZING
Saruman, elrond and golem were all played by this one guy and it was so good?? You could tell visually like his face that it was all him but he differentiates the characters SOOO well!! Bald elrond will haunt my dreams though..
MERRY AND PIPPIN UUUGHGHHG I love I love they made a tiny tweak to pip which was that since he was played by a lovely actress pip was referred to as a girl, but it was done very well! Nothing about the character changed, personality, story beats, outfit, everything was still pippin the only difference was a few she's here and there which is very much how this thing should be done :)) if you do need to or want to switch and characters gender it's good to keep them the same in other aspects otherwise they just come across as a new character with a familiar name! But that didn't happen here at all, the actress portrayed pip amazingly
Merry was also so good! His voice was amazing and he was so charming!
THE OOOORCS they were amazing. They were so unsettling!! I wasn't sure how they were going to play them but they had this gassmask type thing on it was so good! Everytime they came in I was excited to see them.
The way they did the nazgul was so fun. They were these skeleton horse head puppets!! They opened their mouths so wide it was really unsettling!!
AND THE SPIIIIDERRR everyone gasped when the spider came on. They opened these big doors in the back of the theatre right and she didn't even walk on she was right there! She was huge. She's this big puppet maned by like it's gotta be six or seven people SHE WAS AMAZING
AND OH OH OH THE FIRST AND LAST SCENES WERE OUTSIDE bilbos party was out in the garden!! We all got to sit around and the hobbit came and spoke to us all like we were invited to the party! Bilbo came out and asked me if I had eaten today if was great!! Speaking of which he was SOO GOOOOD
ANNNNDD they mentioned Tom!! WOOO at the end gandalf spoke about going to speak with Tom bombadil! We all had a giggle it was fun
It was just generally amazing all round
26 notes · View notes
raayllum · 2 years
Text
Rayla knows she’s an elf, of course; she always knows she’s an elf.
There’s too many physical differences to shy away from—the horns, the hair, the restlessness that comes with every full moon cycle—even if Soren, as big brothers are prone to do, tries to convince her when she’s four that she lost both her pinky fingers in a cooking accident (it doesn’t work, and she jabs both fingers in his eyes as payback when she’s fed up with it, as little sisters are prone to do). 
Claudia tells her stories as they braid each other’s hair, of thieving Skywing elves, tumultuous Tidebound elves, and bloodthirsty Moonshadow elves. Claudia hugs her sister tight, round the middle from behind. “Thank goodness we saved you!”
It’s the mantra Rayla gets used to, those first four years at the castle, whenever she’s given strange look, or a new servant stops in fright of her, or a visiting diplomat reacts poorly.
“She’s an elf—” comes the mind-numbing exclamation. 
And then her family—usually her brother or sister, or sometimes her father—leaping to her defense. Mother clasps her shoulder comfortingly with one hand. “She’s a good elf, and our ward—part of the royal court.” 
Even Captain Amaya lightens up on her before she leaves to lead the Standing Battalion, although Rayla always needs an interpreter to translate. “Better a Moonshadow elf than a Sunfire elf,” and it feels like approval.
Rayla asks just once where she comes from, her parents exchanging a glance before Mother answers, “A Moonshadow glade, all on your own. Your father searched, but he couldn’t find...”
Viren pats her on the head and draws her into his lap next to where Claudia is cocooned in one arm, Soren playing with wooden figurines on the rug, having earned himself five more minutes before he has to take his yucky medicine. “I searched far and wide,” Viren tells her, pale eyes smooth like sea glass in the firelight. “But all I found was you, little Moonlight, and I’m very glad.”
The new crownguard Captain, Amaya’s older sister Sarai, is much nicer and doesn’t rat them out when she spies Rayla and Soren and Claudia sneaking into the kitchens after hours. She’s fantastic with a spear, far flashier than Amaya’s shield, and Rayla and Soren soon spend hours whacking each other with wooden training swords in the courtyard while Claudia complains, and Sarai’s son, younger by a year, sits quietly and draws. He pushes his hair out of his eyes a lot and Rayla thinks Captain Sarai should give him a haircut, the way Dad does with her—she wonders if Sarai captures Callum’s cut locks in a jar the same way Viren does for her, Claudia, and Soren. 
Having her hair collected makes her feel a little strange (a little more different), but it’s all of them, so not that strange. 
“I’ll be head crownguard someday,” Soren crows, tossing his sword from side to side. He may be the oldest at eight, but he’s a dunderhead, as Rayla hefts hers up.
“Not if I am!” 
But they’ll have years before that happens, Claudia scowling when they head back in for the night. “Did you have to fight all day?” she harrumphs. “Mom and Dad already—”
Rayla, always alert at night, thinks of hearing Claudia tiptoe past her room to crawl into Soren’s bedroom, or hers, depending on how loudly Mom and Dad are fighting. 
Soren smiles, wheezing, and Rayla thinks maybe they have stayed out too late. Soren has been sick since winter and it’s nearly summer, and Dad keeps saying he’ll get better, but... he hasn’t. Even if Claudia always says he’s looking cheery, Rayla can see the way her brother’s complexion is changing to match her very pale one more every day, his blond hair losing its sheen.
Then, one day in autumn, Mom says Soren has to rest, a steely glint in her eyes, her blond hair braided back. She’s angry, not in a you need to eat your vegetables way (mushy peas are an abomination), or even in the way she and Dad will get into it sometimes in front of them, tossing barbs back and forth before they remember themselves. Rayla’s never seen anger like this before.
She sneaks into Claudia’s room when Soren still isn’t at dinner, and neither is Dad. “What do you think?” she asks, mind whirring with possibilities. One of them is that something bad has happened to Soren, but Rayla won’t entertain that thought. He’s going to be fine, unless—
“I don’t think anything,” Claudia says stubbornly, burying her face in her pillow, dark hair fanning out across white linen. Then, realizing she’s called herself stupid and Rayla almost wants to smirk in spite of it all, Claudia course-corrects. “I mean I do think, but not about this—Soren is fine. Dad is fine. They’re just... busy.”
She sounds close to tears, but clearly doesn’t want to be around anyone, so Rayla slips out and makes her own way down the dark castle hallways. She evades Sarai on her patrols by hiding behind a tapestry and runs into her father, halfway on route to his study. 
“Rayla,” he says when she emerges out of the shadows, a hand on his chest. His expression is hard. “You startled me.”
Sorry rests on the tip of her tongue, but then he steps into a shaft of moonlight—and her dad is not her dad, his visage cracked and a washed out grey, dark forks of purple lightning scattered over his skin. But Rayla doesn’t recoil, too used to being on a receiving end, and instead holds his gaze. She won’t be afraid. Fear is weakness. 
Slowly, Viren’s gaze softens, before she asks, “Is Soren okay?”
Viren bends down on one knee, placing his grey hands on her shoulders, his eyes black and rimmed with purple. It makes her think of the Moonshadow form Claudia has mentioned from her books and if they would match, if Rayla was able to do it one day. “Yes, Moonlight,” he says, voice hoarse. “Your brother is perfectly fine.”
He and Mother’s marriage is not, and once Soren is back on his feet—boisterous and bright and more swaggering than ever (but Rayla will let him have this, cheeks flushed and full of life)—Lissa leaves around three months later. Their parents announce the divorce quietly, even if Claudia sobs loudly, clutching both of their legs, and Soren looks a little shell shocked. 
Rayla cries and holds onto her, too, but Lissa combs her fingers through her hair. “It’s alright little Moonberry,” she soothes, as Soren chooses to stay with Dad, and Claudia trembles. Lissa gives Viren a look, as she draws Claudia into her arms as well. “You’ll be alright here, Rayla,” she says, almost angry again. “Dad will do anything to protect his children. All of his children.”
Rayla just nods, not understanding, and Viren spends the day shut up in his office once Lissa is gone, Harrow overseeing the three of them at dinner. The king tells bad jokes that make Rayla snort berry juice out of her nose because they’re so terrible.
She can’t sleep that night, either, and locates her father in the library by the armchairs, the mage’s words echoing in her head.
She’s going back to Del Bar, where her family is from, echoes in Rayla’s head as she climbs into Viren’s lap. “Dad?” she says and he hums, looking at her, perturbed and patient as she waits for her to speak again. “Will I have to go back to where my family is from, too?”
“No,” Viren says quickly, tucking her hair back behind pointed ears. He regards her, thinking, although she can’t tell what. “No, you’re much too precious, Rayla. You are an elf, but you are one of us. We will never let you slip away.”
In the moment, it’s a promise that settles her.
(Years later, it will feel like a threat.)
125 notes · View notes
mrsiggytheimp · 9 months
Text
Tumblr media
I was curious about Elven fashion fads, and how different ones come and go, and like 1200+ year old elf getting exited that a level six is wearing the same outfits people wore when she was a level six. So I made some up. 1. Earrings that are a fungi ecosystem growing in a miniature Mycology encyclopedia. After a while, the fungi will have broken the book down enough that you throw the entire thing into your at-home mushroom garden! A hole is cut in many of the pages with a clear sheet over it so you can see the mushrooms growing inside. You can buy them, or you can DIY them at home (I imagine DIY Mycology Earrings were a big thing when Della was a kid)
2. Best Friends eyeshadow. Eye Shadow made with Enzymes that glow and sparkle when near each other. You and your bestie can coordinate a day of the week to wear it at the same time. (This was in waaaay back when, when like, Luzia Vacker was a kid, but people kept getting eye rashes, and then it came back when Oralie was kid, improved so that it didn’t send you to the healing center when the two wearers got to close, starting a rumor that you were allergic to your best friend.)
3. This was more for older people when they got engaged/just ' wanted to do something special, or even for a wedding anniversary, and can be wedding rings. Like Cognate rings, they have customizable initials for you and your partner, but magnet together with emotional energy rather than mental energy. They cover joy and excitement, but also anger, grief, (etc) to help them remember to be there for each other all the time, not just the good times. It goes in and out, but is always kind of referred to as old fashioned. 4. Magnetic Eyelash extensions. Hear me out, elves having things that humans would go absolutely not (like these) and humans having things that make elves go absolutely not (like drawn on eyebrows, contour, death penalty, and Elvis haircuts) I don’t mean the eyelashes that are just extension that go into your eyelash, I mean mascara, and then separate eyelash things that float in front of your eyelash because they and the mascara are made of some elven mineral that attracts until the get to close and it repels. ”No, those haven’t been in style since my grandma was a kid!” “But mom, it’s coming back!” (*cough* winged eyeliner and mom jeans *cough*)
5. You just rub it on your face and it makes your freckles and birth marks florescent, sparkly, or different colors. I would use it. It could be like a Platypus or one of those weird Australian beard sharks and have my freckles glow under black light. 6. Bags and pockets are out, vibrant lip hues are in. But how do you carry around your lipstick without a bag or pocket? Easy! With these Lipstick Earrings! You can screw off the bottom and extend a bit of lipstick to touch up you makeup. Made quick with a string that pulls them right back into place when you let go. (This is dumb and I have nothing to say about it other than absolutely) 7. Idk what I was thinking. You can write on it, but the writing is only visible from the front, otherwise it just looks like a compact mirror with some makeup. Great for cheating in school, and hiding things from the government. I have no slogan.
17 notes · View notes
queenmeriadoc · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media
I was lightly inspired by one of my own post for this, but have now idea were most of it came from, but I’m posting it here so enjoy. It could be terrible, terrible in the sense that I don’t like my own writing most of the time. But it was kinda fun to write so I’m counting this as a win.
While living in Middle Earth for a few decades by now Merry's hair had grown very, very long, their long dark blonde locks reaching down across their back, only getting the tips cut every now and then. Getting a proper haircut had been a hassle, and they had just not been bothered to take of it other than the basic maintenance. Celebrimbor had his simple methods to take care of his hair, while Gil-Galad, don’t even ask you properly won’t understand half of it. But for Merry hair was the last thing they wanted to think of. Until one day a few visitors came to Eregion, they were to have an important meeting with the High King and the High Elves, it was a group from the Southlands, a group of men. Now there was probably not that of great beauty compared to that of the Lady Galadriel, but it did look very nice, however when a rather creepy man came up to Merry complimenting their hair, touching it, sniffing it, something inside Merry snapped. One moment they sanding in the courtyard looking at a statue and the next they were barging into the forge of Celebrimbor, “I need a pair of sharp scissors”, every elf in the room stopped working looking at both Celebrimbor and Merry who were now standing in the middle of the room facing each other. “Hello to you too darling” Celebrimbor smiling wiping one of his many tools, “What do you need them for? Stab someone?” he laughs but seeing the angry face on Merry's face he stopped himself. “Is everything ok?” Placing his tool down on the anvil before guiding Merry into his study, away from everyone staring. “I just need some scissors” voice shaking, “please”. He took a second to consider it, but eventually went and found what was his sharpest scissors, must be important if they couldn’t use any of the scissors he made for them, scissors specifically made for paper and other art projects. “Now will you —“ before he could finish his sentence Merry had already taken a large chunk of hair and cut it off, leaving Celebrimbor speechless and with his mouth hanging open. “What?” Merry asked while taking another chunk of hair and cutting it. “You know what? I think I could make paintbrushes out of these” Merry continued, but before Merry could take another large chunk of hair “WAIT” Celebrimbor shouted, “Just let me do it please, so it will look at least decent, Eru have mercy” stressed he takes the scissors, he gestures for them to sit down before fixing their now choppy mess of hair. “Please just tell me why you would suddenly cut your hair, please” concern in his voice. A sigh came from Merry “Someone, a man, was touching it” holding their breath questioning whether they should say it or not before continuing “and sniffing it — it just felt very violating, almost like he wanted to” they stopped, feeling nauseous. A few moments passed, moments that felt like an eternity but were probably just a couple of minutes. “Who? Who was it? Tell me so I can tell Gil-Galad, so I can tell the High King” they both knew he could do more, he had more power than the both of them, Celebrimbor may be the Lord of Eregion, but Gil-Galad was the King of the elves, he could do something, more than they could. “I don’t know his name, I only know what he looks like, remember the one that was staring when they arrived?” They say, voice slightly trembling, “They blonde one? Short beard? Awful clothes?” This made them laugh breaking the tension a little, Merry shaking their head for yes “I will tell Gil- Galad, but I’m taking you home so you can get some rest ok?” Celebrimbor gives them a reassuring hug, “Ok” was all they could say, taking his hand as they walked out and went home.
Tumblr media
16 notes · View notes
darklordsauron · 2 years
Text
I WATCHED THE RINGS OF POWER EPISODE 2 (illegally) SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO (PART 2):
IT IS ACTUALLY BETTER THAN EPISODE 1 BUT NOT BY A LOT.
As always a list of bad things and good things (which expanded a bit).
BAD THINGS-
Nori (the Harfoot we follow) seems to suffer from chosen one syndrome because she uses the typical line 'he fell here for a reason.' She thinks she is important but she is just annoying.
Her friend Poppy is just the plain comic relief and is also annoying. Like they just saw the 'stranger' (who probably is one of the Isitari) plummet to the ground and when Nori nears him, they start cracking up jokes. (Hobbits are jokey creatures but when things are serious they adjust themselves to the situation).
The stranger must be an Isitari because he sends fireflies into the air the same way Gandalf does with moths. If he is, it furthers Amazon's disrespect towards the source material because the Isitari made their appearance later in the second age in a different manner.
Once again I am forced to peck on Galadriel. This elleth (whom is shorter than the humans because Amazon has no respect for the source material) almost swam the whole stretch of the ocean between Valinor and 'Middle Earth' until she hitchhikes with knock-off Aragorn (Whom I think is Sauron).
There was a group of humans who rescued her, they're not important but yeah, their dialog is written with tragic stupidity. They call Galadriel a liar even though she said nothing that could be considered a truth or a lie. (Shows the limited capacity of the writers' brains).
Arondir (I rembered his name, yay!) is like the Amazon Spock/Legolas. Still a very 2D character along with his cliché girlfriend, Bronwyn.
On the subject of Bronwyn, she needs to get a babysitter or something for her son, Theo (something along those lines), cause boy gets himself in tons of trouble and he has some anger issues (plus he is a thief). I call it here first, Sauron is going to make him his disciple or something because he has the dark sword.
More non-Tolkien beasts are introduced. Most prominent of which is a dinosaur looking thing in the ocean.
The prop hammers the dwarf prince Durin uses when challenging Elrond is so obviously plastic and light. Even the actors can't make them look heavy or made of metal.
And why do the humans hate the elves? I know in the books they don't really trust or like each other but they were not outright enemies.
Still no respect for the source material or the legend, J.R.R Tolkien.
GOOD THINGS-
Kazad-dum looks absolutely gorgeous. The CGI is better in the second episode compared to the first. Well done on this.
Elrond, despite his awful haircut and his costumes for this episode sucking, develops personality in this episode and actually makes it into being a likeable character. Canonically, according to the books, he should be more modest (and definitely not politically ambitious).
Durin and Disa, despite her lack of beard, is the best and I will die for them. They truly capture the Dwarven spirit we are used to from Gimli and the company of Thorin Oakenshield. Disa is by far my favourite character as she has spunk and personality, which I believe all Dwarven women have.
Celebrimbor, despite looking older than his ancient, great-aunt Galadriel, plays his character rather coolly. He has this pompous but still lordly air around him that I can respect.
The orcs design is phenomenal. I can see where most of the budget went.
Now comes something I never hoped to address, fandom issues. Guys wether you hate ROP or like it. That's your opinion. Don't bully or judge someone based on this trivial matter. (I have noticed that some of the people who are more loyal towards the books dislike the show, and some of the people who fancy the movies more like the show.) If you like it, like it. If you don't like, then don't like it. Either way, no hate intended. This is just my opinion.
I have to admit my criticism over the first episode was harsh but as a die hard fan, they kind of deserved it (it's not like they're going to see my post anyway.)
Okay. That's all I have to say. See you again for episode 3.
30 notes · View notes
doberbutts · 2 years
Text
Things I do actually have a problem with:
Hair :( The human men have long hair so why not the elves? Seems like a weird choice to make in all honesty, especially with Finrod who is specifically described as having long flowing hair now sporting a shaved haircut. I’m not saying everyone needs waist-length hair but shaved sides/back are more dwarvish and human things than elvish things. The mohawk that looks right on the dwarf looks absurd on the elf, even if it’s styled fine. Similarly, yeah, sad to not see beards on the female dwarves. Disa does have sideburns (sparse, but present) but... bearded lady pretty...
The bending of canon to make it fit makes sense in some areas and not as much in others but I’m waiting until the season ends to see if they tie up these ends neatly before making my final decision on that. Having Elrond go to the dwarves seems like a weird choice when Celebrimbor is literally right there. Shortening the timeline so they don’t keep building up and then killing off characters of less long-lived races does make sense for this specific format.
Personally I think the only way to have avoided that problem would be for it to be less inter-connected ASOIAF-style and more Silmarillion-style. So like, an entire season spent on Beren and Luthien, an entire season spent on Turin, and entire season spent on the War of Wrath, etc. That being said I think that would have appealed to a much more narrow audience as the Silmarillion is well known to be the least appealing of the “widely known” books (being Silmarillion, Hobbit, and the LOTR trilogy) to new fans due to how dense, dry, lore-heavy, and flowery it is. It’s also harder for new fans to understand how everything connects without spending quite a long time on the ol “yeah hey you remember this guy from this episode? well I’m his great great great great great great great grandkid” or “hey you remember this one thing that seemed like a really minor detail? SURPRISE it’s a MAJOR PLOT POINT now” So I think no matter how you tell the story of literally anything from the Second Age, there will be complaints to how that translates to the screen considering Tolkien never wrote for the screen and never expected his works to be adapted let alone in this manner.
Again, if you watch with the attitude of “inspired by, not 100% word-for-word” similar to how comic book and videogame movies are made, where it’s set in a version of the same world but it’s not exactly true to source, it’s a much more enjoyable watch than if you were expecting everything to be exactly the same because it super will not be.
I’ve heard complaints about the only black elf thus far being a low-class elf (who is currently engaged in a slavery subplot big sigh) but also consider: that’s because most of the high-class elves are directly related to each other. Meaning if one is black they all have to be. And considering Tolkien fanboys are already shitting themselves about a single original character being black, can you imagine the pushback if the entire Noldorian line was black? Also that would directly fall into a different antiblack trope because the bulk of the Noldor have bright red, blonde, or silver hair which relies on the “dark skin but eurocentric features” trope. And then if you change that, you get people raising hell that Galadriel’s “golden hair that shines so brightly it looks like the light of the Two Trees is contained within” was changed to brown or black. But then if you don’t make her black but do make other characters directly related to her black...
While I do think there should be more speaking black characters, and especially more black elves among what Amazon is calling the “watchmen” since there’s more room to play with that than the Noldor because, as said, everyone’s related to each other for that clan, the complaint that there are only a handful of black characters is sort of lost on me. There’s dozens of shades of brown in the crowds of people. The speaking characters could use more diversity, but the world itself is more diverse than is being implied. And, to be quite frank, more diverse than Tolkien’s writings or literally any adaption of them.
HOWEVER I do agree that it’s a little yikes that the only black elf is currently engaged in a slavery subplot. I mean yeah Sauron did do shit like that, and orcs are technically super fucked up elves so he needs fresh, er, “breeding stock” as it were, but really you gotta throw your only black elf into it? He did get some moments of being a badass and in fairness there’s white elves enslaved with him but. Still a little yikes. Hopefully he will break free and continue to be a badass, honestly I’m so normal about him, really the blorbification level is at an all time low, I can be normal about an AfroLatino elf truly I’m incredibly normal about this man.
22 notes · View notes
batshape · 2 years
Note
What do you headcanon Mae looks like, and how does this change through the years? I just read your fic with Caranthir and Mae talking about teeth and I’m slightly obsessed lol
thank you!! on gold is still one of my favorite fics ive written--i love slightly monstrous and still vain maedhros (and his long-suffering, definitely not jealous little brother caranthir).
slightly contrary to fanon and canon, i don’t tend to think maedhros was much to look at before beleriand. sure, he was attractive (maybe even very attractive), but attractive =/= interesting to look at, and i just don’t think he was that before beleriand. however, i’m not charitable enough to the valinorean elves to consider them capable of interrogating their own beauty standards, so i think the heyday of maedhros’ youth was unburdened by the potentially career-ending question “is he beautiful, or is he just tall?” (the answer is both, but mostly tall.)
he definitely knew how to dress well, and in my mind he inherited nearly all of nerdanel’s looks, including the freckles and the tendency to sunburn: when he’s younger, they’re distinguishable from one another mostly by dress and hairstyle. he has the height, wide shoulders and general capacity to be built like a fridge, but he doesn’t take advantage of that until at least formenos.
thangorodrim and what follows doesn’t make him not beautiful, in my opinion. the himring of my imagination is populated nearly entirely by masc lesbians and gay noldor just wild and/or fanatical enough to be down to live there, definitively not immune to sharp teeth and unconventional short haircuts. post-angband-capture maedhros is definitely more orc-ish than most, even among the ex-thralls: the aforementioned sharp teeth, gold-plated replacements for the canines he lost/continues to lose in battle, eyes that are noticeably more cat-yellow than elf-silver. his hair goes grey at the temples, and he cuts it short immediately after fingon’s rescue because the elements have ruined it, and then he just keeps cutting his hair short until he and his brothers are dispossessed again. (it’s long again by the third kinslaying—make of that what you will.)
generally, i imagine maedhros as someone who uses his appearance to his advantage especially post-angband—the soldiers of himring, many of them fanatics (though somewhat less fanatical than those in himlad) but even so just very marked by their time in beleriand, want to follow someone who can handle himself with ease in the roughest places on the continent, and maedhros looks it. he was a prince before he was a warlord, raised by a father who believed vehemently that his line’s claim to kingship was being disputed by very charismatic relatives, and maedhros knows how to work a public persona. even looking somewhat monstrous by traditional noldorin standards is a tool he works with skillfully as the lord of himring (and beyond, but that's another digression).
44 notes · View notes
justaghostingon · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media
I posted 279 times in 2022
That's 55 more posts than 2021!
169 posts created (61%)
110 posts reblogged (39%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@kitkat-the-muffin
@crookedblade
@jay9marie
@mosaicofdreamsanddragons
@snazzyscarf
I tagged 274 of my posts in 2022
Only 2% of my posts had no tags
#room of swords - 204 posts
#room of swords reactions - 176 posts
#gyrus - 33 posts
#kodya - 28 posts
#iro - 21 posts
#don - 21 posts
#reblog - 14 posts
#tori - 12 posts
#yumeji - 12 posts
#strawbarrow - 11 posts
Longest Tag: 135 characters
#of course a watsonian explination is that she hasn’t progressed enough at level 1 to begin to hone her craft and specialize her ability
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
So i get why y’all mad about the short hair in the Rings of power, but consider:
The short hair was a fashion choice unique to the second age. Where everyone jumped on the trend and then immediately (for elves so a couple centuries) jumped off again. It’s the embarrassing haircut every elf tries to forget they ever had, so much so that they tear down all statues and paintings where they have it.
The kind of thing that galadriel will absolutely hold over elrond’s head every time they come to visit, and show all his kids.
“Oh Arwen, he doesn’t want u to marry ur hot human boyfriend? Well sometimes he doesn’t make good decisions. Just Look at this painting i keep on me of him with short hair. Could you imagine a worse decision? I can’t”
Arwen (horrified): father?!!!
Elrond: it was a phase! Stop showing people that!
Galadriel: No ☺️
420 notes - Posted September 3, 2022
#4
The Inversion of the Ideal Type:
A mini meta on Komi-san Can’t Communicate
So i’ve been watching Komi-san lately, and I really love the main couple, but it took me a while to finally pinpoint why.
When the show begins, we start from Tadano’s perspective: he’s an average guy with a beautiful but silent classmate who’s secret he discovers. And at this point, I thought i knew what i was getting. The everyday man finding out some secret about a girl way out of their league causing the girl to need to keep them around is a very common wish fulfillment plot. Komi is clearly Tadano’s ideal girl, and the fact she has a weakness he can exploit is just the icing on the cake. I’ve seen it all before, and it always left a bad taste in my mouth.
But here’s the kicker: Tadano doesn’t exploit Komi’s secret. He doesn’t make her dependent on him, or act jealous of her new friends. He’s constantly looking out for her comfort and trying to help her reach out and make new friends. And in this, he becomes a wish fulfillment character himself. After all, a guy who genuinelu cares and tries to help you with your crippling anxiety? Someone who always understands when u try to communicate? People with social anxieties want that. Any girl who’s ever felt misunderstood wants that. Komi-san wants that. Tadano, with his gentle encouragement and seemingly endless patience, is as much Komi’s ideal man as she is his ideal woman.
And that’s what makes the show work. They both value each other, they both want each other, and every episode they find new little details about each other to make them fall even more in love. Its sweet and uncomplicated, and maybe its a bit idealistic, but its like having a yummy desert after a long day, it soothes you.
571 notes - Posted June 29, 2022
#3
The Great Demon Fiance ManHunt of Cang Qiong Sect
A scum villian’s self saving system au
It all started when Liu Qingge fell into another succubus pit.
Now the succubus in this pit had been gossiping just before he arrived. Well, more like debating in demon fashion, which is to say they had been in an all out brawl.
Liu Qingge thinks this might be an easy fight since they’re all so distracted, until on smarter succubus stops the others
“Wait!” She says. “He’s from Cang Qiong. Maybe he knows something!”
Liu qingge isn’t particularly interested in hearing them out, but they overwhelm him, united as one and fueled with the vigor of one who is starving for gossip
They ask him: “which cang Qiong peak lord is getting married to the next mobei-jun?”
This completely throws liu qingge for a loop nad he venemently denies it
But the succubus insist, spinning a tale of star crossed lovers which as reached their ears: of a young mobei-jun who was rescued by a pittiful human from cang qiong sect, who promised to always be there for mobei-jun, even as he rose higher and higher in thr sect, never betraying him, until even the great mobei-jun could not help but fall in love
Liu qingge dismisses this, but the succubus insist its true, because the same Mobei-jun visited their madam (i forget her name) for a fortune told, and there was a human at his side, dressed in the robes of a cang qiong peak lord!
Their madam is famous for her love fortunes! Why visit her with someone if u weren’t planning to marry them?
(Mobei-jun was not there for a love fortune. He and Shang Qinghua were looking for some plot device to help thwart on of his uncle’s schemes, and needed directions)
So which one was it? Was it him?
Liu qingge is outraged by this suggestion, so much so that it gives him enough of a power boost to escape
At first he ignores it. But it keeps circling in his brain, like a nagging fly he can’t get out of his mind
Then the unthinkable happens: Shen Qingqiu starts being nice! He saves him! He wants to bury the hatchet! He starts being nice to his disciples!
It’s almost like he recieved some very, very good news.
Like a secret proposal.
But no! Shen Qingqiu liked woman! He was always sneaking down to the red pavilon! Right? Right?
Unless he was just using that as a cover to sneak out to see his demon lover????
Filled with worry, he tries to subtly interrogate Shen Qingqiu by asking him what he thinks of demons. Rather predictably, this fails horribly. With an oblivious shen yuan thinking this was a perfect opportunity to get liu qingge to soften to his future brother-in-law’s heritage and gives his whole “there are bad and good ones” speech
Liu qingge leaves heartbroken, certain his shixiong is in love with a demon
He goes to yue qingyuan and tells him that they might be losing a martial brother to an engagement, but refuses to say who
Leaving yue qinghuan witn thr impession its liu qingge who’s getting engaged
At around this time, the rumor of a cang qiong peak lord marrying a demon reaches the peak, because those succubus are still fighting over which one it is, and have taken to asking every cang qiong disciple they can find
Yue qingyaun panics, because his shidi has all but told him he’s getting engaged, liu qingge panics because shen qingqiu could get in serious trouble if this is found out, and shang qinghua panics because what if this inane rumor causes people to examine his own connections to demons?
Shen qingqiu is not panicking. Shen Qingqiu is having a lovely time playing house eith binghe and ignoring everything else
Meanwhile the other peak lords all start accusing each other, the disciples start using this to start fights with other peak disciples, and its all getting very out of hand
Yue qingyuan is forced to call a meeting, and tries to politely get liu qingge to confess
See the full post
689 notes - Posted July 16, 2022
#2
How to Woo the Girl You Dumped Without her Demon-possessed Brother Getting in your Way: A Guide by Jin Zinxuan
A crack au
It all begins when Jin Zinxuan notices that Jiang Yanli is actually really pretty.
This is unfortunately right in the middle of him yelling at her for trying to claim credit for the soup someone’s been making for him
Wei Wuxian shows up, demonic tendicals (we’re going anime version here) dripping from all around him as he defends his sister, it comes out that she has been making the soup, and now he’s smitten with a huge problem: the girl he likes both now prob hates him because he humiliated her, and also her brother is definitely a demon
Now a sensible person would first try to patch over the relationship with jiang yanli by apologizing, but jin Zixuan is a Jin! He’s never done a sensible thing in his life!
And also talking about feelings is really scary and as his friend Miammiam likes to point out, he is really bad at it
So naturally, he decides that the most important step to wooing Jiang yanli is to save her brother from demonic possession. That way she’ll be super impressed with him and he’ll be less terrifying and so greatful he’ll well come him into the family!
What could go wrong?!!
Jin Guangyao insists that it is not demonic possession, it is demonic cultivation. But jin zixuan has heard jin zixun rant about “that wei demon” enough times to know better
Figure of speech? What’s that?
So jin zixuan decides to exorcise wei wuxian, and to do that, he’ll need help from the smartest person he knows: jin Guangyao
Jin guangyao is less than thrilled at being sent on a rediculous job like this, to exorcise the clearly not possessed wei wuxian, until he realizes jin zixuan will do anything he suggests without question
ANYTHING
So Jin guangyao decides to have fun with this, setting jin zixuan on increasingly ridiculous tasks to “cure” wei wuxian of demonic possesstion
Like covering him in salt. Or throwing itchy flowers at him. Or running after him chanting this truely awful tune while hoping on one foot.
The result of course, is a very angry wei wuxian who chases zixuan away, and an increasingly desperate jin zixuan who thinks wei wuxian’s frustrations are proof that “the demons are trying to stop me!”
Now the sect heir acting strange is going to raise some eyebrows, and when outsiders look at jin zixuan throwing flowers and singing, they come to a very different conclusion.
Within a day, everyone in every sect is convinced jin zixuan is trying to court wei wuxian
“My son is a cutsleeve!” Moans jin guangshan. “How did this happen! I showed him all the fine ways to love a woman!”
“You’re lessons are the reason my son is a cutsleeve!” Madam jin retorts. “U scarred him for life!”
They proceed to spend the rest of the time arguing and somehow forget to actually talk to their son
Meanwhile in yumeng everyone is losing their collective shit. Jiang cheng is furious that jin zixuan thinks he can poach wei ying with a few pretty words and flowers. Jiang yanli is depressed because her crush is really hopeless now, and how could she measure up to wei wuxian?
Wei wuxian himself is disgusted, not that jun zixuan is a cutsleeve, but that he’d dare to court him! After what he did to shijie! He resolves to firmly rebuff every attempt jin zixuan makes
Which only serves to make jin zixuan more determined because “those demons are really stubborn!!”
But then… the rumor reaches gusu
And lan zhan hops on the first sword to the jin sect to challenge jin zixuan to a duel for wei wuxian’s honor
Lan Zhan tells himself he wouldn’t do this is wei wuxian actually loved the guy. But its not just some guy. This is jin zixuan, wei wuxian hates him! Even he knows that!
They fight, but jin zixuan for all his denseness, even he knows he doesn’t have a quirrel with lan Zhan, and eventually he gets lan zhan to calm down enough to ask why they are fighting
Lan zhan explains and jin zixuan is horrified he’d ever thing that, and quickly fills him in on what he’s really doing: saving wei wuxian from the demon that is possessing him
See the full post
692 notes - Posted September 13, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
The Yiling Laozu’s Lost Spells, A.K.A. The Weird Ones
A Collection by Mo Xuanyu
aka another crack au
Edit: Now with a part 2!
When the Yiling Laozu died his work was divided up by its use
The Lans took anything deemed undemonic, like Spirit Lures and Demonic Compasses
The Jins snuck out anything dangerous under the lie they’d destroy it
And the rest of it…it got scattered everywhere to every lowdown village and wanna be demonic cultivator.
At first, no one thought this would be a problem. It’s not like anything dangerous is out there, and not just anyone can culitvate
But they forgot two very important things: 1) no one needs to be a culivator to use demonic cultivation and 2) people will find a way to use anything
Soon the culivation world is overrun by really, really weird cases that their cultivators just can’t keep up with
And when I say weird, I do mean weird here’s a look at some of the cases:
Case 1) Giant rabbits the size of houses have been spotted in a mountain near a sheparding villiage eating all their feilds. They asked Hanguang-jun for help. Hanguang-jun went up but he did not come back down. It is suspected the giant bunnies ate him
Case 2) the dancing radishes. Every night on the full moon radishes come to life in a villiage and dance on their beds. Its not hurting anyone, but its really freaking them out
Case 3) dog begone spells. A whole villiage has lost all its dogs and no one knows why. Some of them were really expensive spirit puppies, including one jin guangyao was planning to purchase for his nephew
Case 4) the case of the running radishes. Radishes are leaving their beds a d running away as fast as thry can. Every time someone gets close they keep moving farther away
Case 5) flowers flying to lan clan ribbons and sticking. Every flower, even ones on stems. The lans are walking around covered in flowers and it is becoming a Problem.
Case 6) radishes that look like potatoes. Again? What is with this guy and radishes? This spell would have been harmless if it hadn’t been in a villiage with two rival families of radishes and potatoes. The potato family is accusing the radish family of sabatoge and the radish family is accusing the potato family of stealing their crop
Case 7) Lotus soup possession talisman. If u stick this talisman on someone, they will make lotus and pork rib soup. Always. Again and again. They can’t stop. Everything they make is soup. They’re crying.
Case 8) the peacock tail talisman. Every jin who comes into contact with this talisman will get a peacock tail. They can’t get rid of them. This is a problem.
Case 9) grass butterflies come to life. Again, not harmful, but very annoying. All children love it. All adult toy sellers do not. Their wares keep flying away. Please someone save their buisnesses
Case 10) hug jiang cheng. You must hug jiang cheng. You can’t help it. You can’t stop. If u don’t give him one hug a day you will die. Jiang cheng is furious. Fix this now.
Case 11) give Hanguang-jun compliments. Not hard, no one would notice if it wasn’t stuck to Su She. He hates it. He’s sueing for emotional damages. You better fix this quick!
And these are just the first ones! In times like this, people look to the Chief Cultivator. But the Chief cultivator is off flirting with women, so like all things, this falls to jin guangyao to solve.
So Jin guangyao decides he needs to get those documents back, and who better to send to handle the weird cases no one wants to touch than his weird half brother who’s so fasinated by demonic cultivation?
Thus Mo Xuanyu finds himself with his dream job: chasing down the yiling Laozu’s lost works! What more could he want?
The first case is easy. He goes up and finds Hanguang-jun asleep cuddled in a pile of giant rabbits. All he has to do is find out where the talisman is and remove them. The hard part is getting Hanguang-jun to stop looking like he just killed his wife. Mo xuanyu didn’t know Hanguang-jun had puppy eyes. Since when did he have puppy eyes? Eventually to make him feel better he helps him take all the rabbits to cloud recesses. And at another puppy dog eyed, gloomy look like he’s denied him his long lost lover, Mo Xuanyu gives him the talisman too. Jin Guangyao’s not happy, but really, what was Mo Xuanyu supposed to do? Not make that handsome man smile again?
The second case is a lot harder. Nothing Mo Xuanyu does gets the radishes to stop singing. No spells, not talismans, nothing. The only thing left is to dig them all up and throw them deep into the woods where no one will have to listen. Mo Xuanyu’s ears are still bleeding from their reedy songs
The third case is where Mo Xuanyu feels a bit of hope in Yiling laozu’s work really paying off. Lots of his bullies at the jin sect have dogs. If he can make them vanish, he’ll be safe! Unfortunately this spell makes all dogs leave, or none at all. And even when he finds a way to undo it, he can’t afford to copy it out because jin guangyao took one of the pups to give to jin ling, and if mo xuanyu makes the grumpy jin ling’s beloved new puppy go away, he’ll be kicked out of Koi Tower and feel bad besides
The radishes are back, but they run now. They aren’t even violent, u can’t use them for anything! They just run! It takes mo xuanyu months to catch one and track it back to its home. The radishes have built a radish villige in the forest. Radish farmers radish shop keepers and radish children. Mo xuanyu feels like he’s stepped into a children’s book. Then he hears the familiar reedy songs and it becomes a nightmare. The running radishes found the singing ones. They interbred. Now they have musical theatre radishes. Mo Xuanyu booked it out of there as fast as he can. Fuck the Yiling Laozu. Mo Xuanyu isn’t messing with that
See the full post
1,022 notes - Posted September 23, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
8 notes · View notes
shadowsofthepast · 2 years
Text
Rings of Power episode 1
The Good
It is, overall, really beautiful. Fantastic shots, fantastic colors, beautiful cities and landscapes. Some scenes from Galadriel's recollection of the war against Morgoth were particularly evocative
I don't mind short haired elves. Finrod looks great.
Galadriel makes a lot of references to how old she is and how much she's seen. You can really feel the weight of it.
I like Arondir, though we don't know much about him yet, and I support an elf/human romance with a single mom.
I enjoyed it
The Bad
It's petty but what bothers me more than anything else is that they named one of the Harfoots Elanor. It just doesn't make sense. They don't seem likely to know elvish flower names, much less use them as names, and it's definitely weird to use it if not in reference to the flower. It was an original name Sam picked for his kid, not a traditional hobbit name! I don't like it
I'm not a fan of some of the costuming choices. Galadriel's ceremonial armor looks kind of dumb, and one of her head ornaments looked a bit chintzy to me. Not sure about Gil-galad's outfit.
While I know they can't use Silmarillion content and I sympathize with wanting a more contracted timeline so you don't have all your human characters dying off every episode, some of the lore changes feel unnecessary
The Ambivalent
While I did enjoy the Harfoots, and I do not object to them telling Second Age hobbit-ancestor stories on principle - Middle Earth is a wide and expansive world with lots of stories in it - I do wonder if it might not make things too cluttered.
I personally feel like it could have been nice to have more of an illusion of security before the signs of evil started coming back - to make Annatar seem less suspicious. But I'll have to wait and see what they do
While I do support Galadriel as a commander and warrior, I do wish we also had her family here.
There are a lot of moments where I am like "legally they can't mention this detail they are omitting." Which is not their fault, really, but makes for a strange experience.
I don't mind Celebrimbor's apparent age but I'm not sure about his haircut. Though if Elrond is trying to copy it I do kind of like that.
I feel as though they are both trying to leave some things as surprises for people who don't know the lore, and depending on viewers knowing a certain amount of lore. This seem like it can't be kept in balance
Overall a lot depends on how things play out
The Questionable
Who is Meteor Man?
Why hasn't Elrond mentioned Elros?
When are we going to see Númenor?
4 notes · View notes
land-of-holly · 2 years
Text
Rings of Power Episode 8 Liveblog
Scraggly hobo stranger man...
Nooo, that"s his emotional support apple!
THAT'S NOT NORI! GET OUTTA THERE MAN!
Idk them all being mistaken about his identity for some cheap trailer lines feels like misguided writing
Oh gosh, Halbrand looks appropriately wounded
Fruit of Laurelin reference!
Lol Elrond looks so perplexed to see Galadriel
Girl, he works for the king! He's supposed to be in Eregion! Answer his question!
Those are two different reasons, Gal
Just keep swimming, just keep swimming...
WHAT IS WITH THESE HUMANS WHO GET IMPALED AND JUST KEEP WALKING AROUND
At least Celebrimbor calls him on it
Don't be so coy, Celebrimbor, it's unbecoming
Which master would that be, Hal
Those gemstones look like resin
Jesus Hal can you not keep your hands out of other peoples business for five fucking minutes
Nice way to introduce the Numenorean obsession with immortality and rope Earien back in.
Pharazon 100% knows she's shacking up with his son and is keeping an eye on her
Gosh that must be freaky to have the delirious king go off on you like that
Looking in Palantiri is a dangerous business. It doesn't always lead you right...
Oh I like it when Celebrimbor gets that look in his eye
Is there a king in this show that is anything but an obstruction to the plot??
Halbrand is like the perfect rubber duck for Celebrimbor, sparking in him all these ideas that just need to coalesce
Celebrimbor's cape in this scene is kinda cool
GALADRIEL IS SUSPICIOUS
You tell him, Elrond
Ugh, they're right, they're jamming all the Cele-Hal into this one episode
All these elves look like fucking Vulcans with their short Roman ass haircuts
They're using these REALLY tilted overshoulder shots on Galadriel even more extreme than the height diff would indicate
Who are these ladies actually???
...You get stars that can only be seen in one place going north-south, not east-west. MAYBE If you are on a flat planet?
Did no one tell them that he doesn't like being called Sauron?
Pretty forward and controlling with someone they consider their master
Hide little harfoots!
The stranger is Aslan???
SADOC NO
Oh whoops that wasn't even their guy at all
Now he's mad
Yeah, get em! WHO'S YOUR GOD NOW
Oh here's the fucking wizard fight
Everyone gets to be awesome!
Oropher come collect these wicked ladies setting your forest on fire
Nooo, you're good!!!
Tell him Nori!
Geez, Sadoc is up and running around too!
Oh, Marigold, no
The Istar!
They're...moth...people? Some kind of wraith?
No! Ask the wizard to help him! At least try! T_T
Now he needs to drop the freaky cult staff and get him a proper walking stick
Valandil no... T_T
Miriel don't be mean he's just trying to help. There's no sense in pretending you don't need it
Your father was a fucking deontologist, Miriel
Suppose there's no real chance of hiding her blindness
Whoa. That is NOT the prediction I expected to come through, honestly. RIP Tar-Palantir
Your not doing science if there's not EXPLOSIONS
I sincerely believe Halbrand is just having a fun time doing science with his friends
Now Galadriel, you are the one who made him be a king. He wanted to stay in Numenor and make swords
Galadriel is REALLY suspicious
So Hal's just going for it, I guess
Get out of her fucking head, creep
DON'T TOUCH THE FREAKING DARKNESS OMFG GROSS
He does not handle rejection well does he
Now Galadriel, denying, him repentance isnt very Christian of you
Oh yeah, he was legitemately trying to be penitent with her...he's just very bad at it
Oh that is a cool shot. Very tied into the themes of light and dark
don't say it
Oh he didn't say it
See Sauron this is why she doesn't like you. You act like a fucking incel whenever you get the slightest pushback
Ooh, she failed her will save again
...THEY DECONFIRMED THE KIDNAP DADS???
So of course she's not brave enough to actually  tell them WHY they can't trust Hal. Could have made this all a lot easier
He can't actually trust you, Galadriel. Because you're lying to him
That's your answer? Not "Don't fucking do it the whole process is corrupt" just "make three"?
Yeah, we all knew that knife was toast. Much symbolic, very thematic
Damn he can actually like talk now
Poppy for president!
They're kickin ya out, Nori
Go with her poppyyyyyy
Continue to love the Harfoot gestural language
No see Poppy is clearly in love with Nori
GO WITH HER GFDI
Fuck you forever writers. That nose line was unnecessary
Is the blade silver too...??? We're not gonna adjust the ratios or anything? Okay
I MEAN it's good to have a silver knife when you're fighting werewolves....
Just chuck it in there, not like we're doing delicate mtalurgical science or anythign
Yes yes, the Eye of Sauron, we've all seen it
Movie shot recreation. Sin.
That poor scroll
How tf is Sauron going to get anywhere if everyone knows?
Don't smile like that Galadriel It's creepy. Gonna make everyone think you're not who they think you are
How is Nenya a different color than the other two???
Oooh, time to do some EVIL. Gotta go have a rematch with Adar.
Ugh don't sing. I can't handle it right now.
So we gonna get the other rings at some point?
2 notes · View notes
Text
The Demigod From Asgard - Steve Rogers x Reader (Part 18)
A/N: Oh look at that! A new moodboard!
Summary: You get interrogated by the World Security Council, Steve gets a haircut and teaches you about a strange holiday
Word Count: 2.6k
Warnings: Fluff! Little bit of Angst! Language! SLOW BURNN!
Dividers by @firefly-graphics​
Series Masterlist / Masterlist
Tumblr media
Chapter 18: Modernisation and a Couple Tricks
A couple days later you were walking through the halls of SHIELDs New York HQ. You could have put off talking to Fury and the security council another couple days but you’d rather get it over and done with.
“Agent, thank you for coming in” Fury says walking over and shaking your hand.
You nod your head as he leads you into a conference room. He gestures for you to sit down before hitting a button making the other members of the security council appear on the large screen.
“Thank you for coming in Agent, to start may you please explain the events in London” the British woman asks.
“Of course, the original purpose of my trip was to check on Dr Selvig, while there we discovered that reality was beginning to distort due to the convergence” you start.
“What is the convergence?” One of the men ask.
“It’s when the 9 realms pass each other, for a moment they align, and you can easily pass from one to another. During this time Dr Foster came into contact with a substance call the Aether. A powerful weapon with the capabilities to destroy the 9 realms” you explain.
“Where is this weapon now?” Fury asks.
“Safe, it has been taken to the collector for safe keeping” you answer.
“Continue please” Fury says gesturing for you to continue.
“Thor and I took Jane to Asgard to try and remove the Aether, we knew Malekith who is a dark elf wanted the Aether” you tell them.
“Is that what caused the events in London?” The lady asks.
“Yes, the original plan was to draw Malekith to the dark world where the elves were defeated before however we were unsuccessful” you answer.
“When that plan didn’t work why did you not call it in, call SHIELD or the other Avengers?” One of the men ask.
“Simply put there was not enough time, to wait any length of time would have had dire consequences” you explain with a shrug of the shoulders.
“Do you not think the damage would have been reduced or prevented with the help of your teammates?” Another asks.
“No, this was an Asgardian matter nobody would have understood it better than me and Thor. Bringing more people in would have increased the risk. In the limited time we had we did what we thought it better, you can always see a better path in hindsight but we took the one best suited at the time” you finish sitting back in your chair crossing your arms.
Looking over at Fury he smirks before turning to the security council “I think we’ve heard everything we needed to” he says cutting the feed off before they got a chance to respond.
“Congrats you just survived your first interrogation by the security council” Fury says walking over.
“Thank you, not as tedious as I thought, the interrogation by my father was much worse” you chuckle standing up.
“Really?” Fury asks eyebrow raised.
“Yeah at least here the risk of being publicly executed is next to none” you explain making fury laugh.
“Remind me never to piss off your father” Fury says as he opens the door for you.
“Now go take a couple more days off, you deserve it after saving the world again” fury tells you.
“Thank you sir” you smile before heading off.
As you made your way out of the HQ you passed the gyms. When you looked down from the observation deck you saw Nat and Steve training together. Although it looked like they were having a heated discussion.
Making your way downstairs and into the gym Nat smiles as soon as she sees you.
“Y/N I need your opinion on this” she tells you.
“What is this?” You ask.
“Steve’s hair, it’s old fashioned isn’t it?” She says pointing up to Steve who was rolling his eyes.
“I feel like you’re asking the wrong person here” you say pointing out the fact that you too weren’t from this modern world.
“Okay I know but have you seen anyone Steve’s age with a haircut like that” she asks.
You glance up at Steve thinking for a moment before smirking slightly.
“Well he’s got more hair than most 90 something year olds but they do have that kinda style” you say.
Nat bursts out laughing as Steve rolls his eyes groaning shaking his head turning his back on the two of you.
“Why aren’t you telling Y/N to get an up to date haircut?” Steve questions when he turns back towards you.
“Because she already has one, our haircuts don’t really go out of fashion” Nat explains.
Steve sighs dropping his hands to his hips shaking his head slightly before looking back over at you.
“What do you think? Jokes aside” Steve asks.
“I think maybe give it a shot, it’s only hair if you don’t like it you can grow it back. You don’t have to go anything drastic” you tell him honestly.
Steve nod his head in thought “okay, I wouldn’t even know what to ask for though” he says.
“That’s okay, look why don’t we call it a day training wise and I’ll take you to a barbers and get your hair sorted out” Nat offers.
“Guess that works” Steve says sighing in agreement.
“Great now go shower” Nat says patting Steve on the shoulder.
“Fine, we still having a movie night later?” Steve asks you.
“Yeah of course, Nat wanna join?” You ask.
“Yeah sounds great now come on cap” Nat agrees pushing Steve towards the locker rooms.
Tumblr media
Later on in the evening you heard a knock on the apartment door. Opening it you were greeted with Nat holding a case of beer, and Steve now with shorter hair holding 3 pizza boxes.
“Oh wow you look great!” You tell steve as you let them in.
“You think so” he asks slightly uncertain running his hand through his hair.
“Definitely it really suits you, you definitely look like a man of the 21st century now” you tell him making him laugh.
“Well considering that was the plan” he chuckles as he places the pizzas down on the coffee table.
“What movie are we watching” Nat asks as she opens a beer sitting down in your arm chair.
“Titanic” Steve tells her grabbing himself a beer.
“Its a true story isn’t it” you ask sitting down.
“Kinda, there was a ship called the titanic that sunk but apparently the rest is fiction” Steve explains as he sits on the couch besides you.
“What was it like hearing the news about the ship” Nat asks Steve with a playful smirk.
“I’m not that old” Steve sighs shaking his head.
“But it was still pretty recent news” Nat counters.
“Nat I was born in 1918 a whole 6 years after it sank, in which there had been a major war. By the time I was old enough to be aware of the news the main issue was the Great Depression, and a ship sinking was old news” Steve explains making Nat hold her hands up in surrender.
“Alright alright! Just play the movie” Nat laughs as you press play.
The three of you tucked into your pizzas as you watched the movie. The movie was really good, Jack and Rose we’re definitely a very good couple. When it got to the scene where Jack painted Rose Steve choked on his beer.
Nat instantly starts laughing loudly clutching her stomach as she laughed. You too couldn’t help but chuckle at his flustered appearance.
“You alright there Rogers?” Nat smirks.
“Yeah just this wasn’t the norm back in the day” he explains clearing his throat.
“Just wait until you see Game Of Thrones” Nat smirks taking sip of her beer.
Once the movie was over Nat headed off while Steve helped you clean up the bottles and the pizza boxes.
“How did the meeting go?” Steve asks as you walked into the kitchen.
“Alright, they wanted to know why we didn’t call for help, damage control all that” you say putting the bottles in the recycling.
“Aren’t they the ones that tried to nuke New York?” Steve says raising a brow with a small scoff.
“I know, I have a feeling that they just like shifting blame and I guess a bunch of superheroes are easy targets” you sigh leaning up against the counter.
“Isn’t that just what governments are? People just shifting blame, never truly at fault” Steve says with small shrug of his shoulders.
“How are you feeling though, did you have to mention Loki and your Mother?” He asks leaning up against the counter beside you.
“No, I left those details out when talking to the council but I did mention Loki to Fury just so he knew that he wasn’t a risk anymore” you say with a shaky sigh.
Steve wraps his arm around your shoulder pulling you into a hug “I’m here if you need it” he tells you.
You look up at Steve and give him a small but sincere smile “thank you Steve that means a lot” you smile.
Tumblr media
In the spring of 2014, Fury offered both you and Steve a new job at SHIELD. The job was at the main US HQ in Washington DC. So you and Steve moved out to DC, Fury had once again sorted everything out for you. So you didn’t need to worry about finding an apartment or anything else.
Your new apartment was actually really nice, a lot bigger than your apartment in New York. But that’s to be expected since from moving out of the big city. Another good thing was that Steve’s apartment was only a couple blocks away. Which meant you two could easily carry on your usual movie nights.
You were making your way over to his apartment since you two were had training together he had offered to drive. When you knocked on his door he quickly answered letting you in.
“Almost good to go, just gotta grab a couple things, almond?” He tells you as you walk in, pointing to a can on the side.
“Oh yeah sure” you smile grabbing the can.
As you pulled the top off the can you squeaked in surprise jumping slightly when a bunch of multi coloured streamers popped out. You look around confused before looking at Steve who was holding back a laugh.
“April fools” he laughs.
“April what?” You ask even more confused.
“It’s a holiday, well sorta, on April 1st people pull pranks on each other. I didn’t think you’d know what it was so I thought I’d just do a terrible but mild one” Steve explains picking up the can you dropped.
“You have an entire holiday based on tricking people?” You ask completely astonished.
“Yeah, I don’t know the exact origin but guess it helps cheer up what could be a monotonous year” Steve chuckles shrugging his shoulders.
“Wow, okay, well I’m glad that was never a holiday on Asgard, Loki pulled enough tricks as is” you say making Steve chuckle.
“Once when Thor and Loki were kids, Loki turn into a snake because Thor really liked snakes so when he went to admire it Loki transformed back and stabbed Thor” you tell him.
Steve looks back at you completely stunned “what is it with him and stabbing” he asks.
“A question we asked ourselves a lot” you say making Steve laugh.
“Well it’s not as intense as that I promise now come on before we’re late” Steve smiles grabbing his keys.
During training you were slightly distracted because all you could think about is what joke you could pull on Steve.
The amount of near misses was through the roof as you and Steve worked out together. You had to duck out the way of his shield a few too many times.
You had zoned out as an idea popped into your head, barely giving you time to catch the shield he’d thrown.
“You okay you’re really zoned out today” Steve asks as you pass him back his shield.
“Just trying to come up with a prank but it’s really hard, there’s a reason Loki was the god of mischief not me” you lie dropping your shoulders in defeat.
Steve chuckles shaking his head slightly “don’t then, it’s a stupid holiday anyway if you want you could just plan for next year instead” he tells you.
“Yeah I guess so, look why don’t we call it a day, I got this new movie from Maria to watch wanna join?” You ask setting the plan in motion.
“Sure why not, what movie is it?” He asks as you walk towards the locker rooms.
“I can’t remember the exact name but it was filmed during the war, kinda like a documentary in a way” you explain.
“Oh okay yeah sounds cool” Steve smiles before heading into the male locker room.
You smirk to yourself before quickly heading off to find Maria. You had a movie to borrow, one you really hoped she had otherwise your plan was not gonna work.
When you and Steve got back to your apartment you gave him the task of making popcorn and grabbing drinks while you quickly put the DVD in.
“Ready?” You smile as he sits down passing you a beer.
“Ready” he agrees taking a sip of his beer.
You hit play and settle back down into the couch. When the drumroll starts you see Steve furrow his brows in confusion. Then the singing starts and he lets out a loud groan dropping his head back as the Star Spangled Man With A Plan starts.
You start laughing hysterically, you had never actually seen this before you’d only heard others mention it. So watching the line of chorus girls in red white and blue all singing cap’s tune was easily one of the best things you’ve seen.
Then the man himself appeared on screen, Steve groaning one more hiding behind his hands.
“Nooo!” He groans shaking his head “how on earth did you get this!” He exclaims.
“Shush I wanna hear it all!” You laugh scolding him.
You watched as Steve gave his little speech about buying war bonds before punching a guy dressed as Hitler. The song starts up again and you start dancing along in your seat.
“Oh god, no stop!” He laughs watching you through the gaps in his fingers.
When the video finally stops and Steve drops his hands, his shoulders sagged as he looked at you defeated. A small smirk playing at his lips.
“How? What? I’m lost for words” he chuckles shaking his head at you.
“Revenge is a dish best served cold or should I say frozen?” You smirk making a large snowflake appear in your hand.
“You are evil, actually evil” Steve laughs shaking his head at you.
“Seriously though where did you get that?” He asks pointing to the TV.
“I told you, it was from Maria, they had it in the archives” you explain grabbing your beer and taking a large sip.
“That means Tony probably has it too then, shit” he curses making you gasp playfully.
“Language Captain” you laugh shaking your head at him.
“I’m a soldier from the 40s doll what else do you expect” he laughs grabbing a throw cushion and hitting you with it.
“Oh so you’re not Mr virtuous and righteous?” You laugh throwing the cushion back at him.
“Only around the team, I’ve got a reputation to uphold” he smirks.
“Well your secret is safe with me” you laugh.
“Thank fuck” he says making you gasp again laughing as you hit him playfully.
Tumblr media
LIKE FOLLOW AND REBLOG!
Series Masterlist / Masterlist
I don’t have a tag list so follow @secretswiftymarvelfanlibrary​ and turn on post notifications for updates!
69 notes · View notes
hillnerd · 3 years
Note
Romione and... Pineapple?!
PINEAPPLE 
Hermione’s feet were aching a bit from all the walking they’d done the past few days. France had been lovely, both the Magical and Muggle side, and she was thrilled to finally have a look at Versailles. She’d read about it and seen films, but she especially enjoyed walking through the Acquisitions museum portion.
She’d shelled out quite a lot to rent a pair of headphones for an audio tour of the museum, but she quickly gave up on them. It was much more fun to listen to Ron’s take on the works, and then correct him afterwards with mock indignation.
“Charles Le Brun’s ‘Ricordi’ is NOT a painting of people smelling the artist’s fart!”
“Looks like it to me. That one in the red is right judgy about it, considering his haircut.”
“I think that’s a fur hat?”
“Blue turban guy is pointing out poor Charlie Le Brun to the bearded guy. What a snitch!”
“Noo, he’s not!” “That bloke on the left though hasn’t figured out what happened, yet. Smell hit him and his mouth was open and everything. Look at his eyes watering!”
“Stop it!” she gasped, trying to keep a peal of laughter from bouncing off the museum walls.
Tumblr media
They passed more paintings and Ron’s interest began to dwindle as she kept stopping to read the entire description plates. He would walk ahead and report back what was worth seeing or not.
“That room’s just a bunch of vases and plates. Let’s skip it,” said Ron, interrupting her read.
“Oh no! There are some really lovely handmade objects in there!” she said, scampering across the wooden floors.
He gave a sigh and followed her in.
She had to admit, to herself at least, the china rooms weren’t as interesting as the paintings. Ron had a few loud comments about how racist some of the works were, which she agreed with, which gained them a huff from an older American couple they’d run into around the museum a few times.
“What’s with the pineapples?” asked Ron, pointing at a pair of vases.
Tumblr media
“Oh, erm…” she found the description plate and rapidly read it. “Apparently pineapples were a sign of wealth because they were so hard to attain. People would even rent them for parties to show off.”
“They’d rent a pineapple?” Ron laughed. “Rich people are lunatics.”
“They even paid upwards of three thousand pounds to permanently buy just one pineapple.”
“What?” Ron asked, looking at the golden pineapple filigrees. “That’s, like, six hundred Galleons!”
“I can’t even imagine being that silly with money,” she said with a shake of her head. 
She went on to look about the room and read the descriptions for other interesting tidbits. A good ten minutes had passed when she realized Ron wasn’t at her side making fun of things, and instead was leaning against a wall looking strained.
“I’m sorry this is going long. We can move on to some paintings,” she offered.
“I just want to get out of here, if that’s alright.”
“Oh?” she asked, a bit thrown. He’d been lovely the entire trip, indulging her at every museum, every church, and every book shop. It was odd that he’d suddenly reached his limit now when they’d been laughing so much. “Erm, I believe I saw a good spot to Apparate to the West. There’s a little hidden alcove there.”
“Yeah, that’d be nice. Thanks.”
She was slightly disappointed, but they’d been touring Versailles for hours, so she had little room to complain. They found the alcove, placed the headphones on the floor, and Apparated with little fanfare to a small nearby village. 
Ron quickly found a cozy restaurant with the smell of fresh bread wafting around them. There were children playing in the cobbled street, a bearded old man smoking a pipe as he played chess with what looked like his grandson, and a couple of older women arguing in fast French at a small flower stand. It was picturesque and as big of a contrast from the Versailles museum as she could imagine.
They’d just begun eating some buttered bread when she finally asked what had happened at the palace.
“I expected I couldn’t get out of explaining myself,” he said as he swallowed a large chunk of bread. “It was just… We were in a palace, right? And it’s nothing but over the top frou-frou indulgent buffoonery that I could knock and make fun of because I didn’t have to think of the types of people that would have lived there, but when we got some real context on it all…”
He gave a shake of his head.
“I just couldn’t help but think about Purebloods like the Malfoys and how that’s the sort of thing they’d buy into, you know? There’d be Elves like Dobby trying to find a fucking pineapple for a party for them. And back then everyone’s getting treated like shit as these rich racist peons rent pineapples and decorate golden vases with them. It just made me feel gross thinking about it and being there. I wanted to be where there were real regular people.”
“You wanted to be somewhere like here?”
“Yeah,” he said with a small smile, looking around him before his brow creased with worry. “I hope I didn’t ruin things for you. We can go back if you like!”
“You never ruin things,” she said, putting her hand on his much larger freckled one. “And I like that you’d never rent a pineapple.”
“Certainly not. I’d rather rent erumpent horn like Luna had- much more interesting for a party than a ruddy pineapple.”
“And far more explosive. Actually, pineapples are a nickname for a kind of muggle explosive.”
“Muggles and their pineapples…” Ron said, giving her a smile as he took another bite of bread. “Good thing we aren’t pineapple people, eh?”
“Certainly not!” she agreed with a laugh as they enjoyed their bread and watched the real regular people around them
======================
Ok. So I’ve never been to France (some day I will go there!) and I’m not going to do the research to see what the layout of the Versailles Acquisitions museum is! (Or if it’s even a THING, ok? Or how ‘Ricordi’ is actually displayed. I KNOW NOTHING. I don’t know and it’s a frickin fanfic. So if you know the reality of it, just ignore it and enjoy the story :P
60 notes · View notes
sugar-petals · 3 years
Text
Club Daemon (m)
Tumblr media
PAIRING. merman!baekhyun x vampire!reader
↳ PLOT. You join a club of half-demons all hailing from different supernatural species — and find an unexpected love.  
↳ WORDS. 27k
Tumblr media
TAGS / WARNINGS ⚠️ eventual smut, jealousy, explicit bloodsucking sex (mutual oral, vaginal), fangs kink, pining, groping, femdom!reader, angst/action, neck fixation, rough sex, fantasy au
Tumblr media
The room is filled with smoke, but not from any cigarettes. Somewhere around here, or so you’ve been told, must be the entrance to actual hell. 
A gloomy spiral staircase headed for the core of the earth, kind of rusty and gleaming in red, fog everywhere, you get the idea. But so far… that’s none of your business. And either way.
The architecture in the part of the mansion you were invited to elegantly pools into a massive door of brass and copper. An embossed piece, amazingly sculpted — a hundred years old or more.
The center depicts a translucent emblem that appears to be strangely double-headed. Two facial profiles. One gazing east, the other, west. What exactly that’s supposed to mean: You have no idea, but you get the gist. Some kind of Greek mythology visual going on there. 
Doesn’t look like hell, does it.
You approach the door with slowed steps, tug your blazer into a comfortable fit at the lower hem. Had a mint? Check. Documents? Check. Posture? Semi-check. Adjusting necessary. Back straight, firmer walk. Done. Hopefully. As long as you don’t have to take those reckless stairs down south, you’re surprisingly ready for this. And what kind of preparations can you take for this kind of encounter in the first place anyway.
Beside the door, a concierge behind a luxurious, bulky table lifts his golden-framed glasses. They’re exceptionally thin and round, making their wearer appear like a wise, yet prying owl. Mister Mark Lee, apparently, going by how Taemin described him to you. 
Oh God, Taemin’s pointers saved your life finding this place. He’s been so forthcoming and took the time to explain as much as he could. The moment makes you reminisce a little. Your eyes lose focus.
Meanwhile, fully in the moment, the conscierge seems to cloud himself in the mystery of his dark green suit without any words. A man as groomed as this very Victorian penthouse. And this very borough, and this very carpet you’re standing on. Greeting you with a nod as understated as can be. 
It’s not like he’s treating you like air — he simply keeps the certain reserve you’d expect from a nocturnal bird. Or so it seems. That you’d be scrutinized you already expected, but this way feels a bit uneasy in the chest. If you’re the mouse to the owl, you want to move on past that door as fast as you fucking can.
You try to continue standing straight and hand him your letter as inconspicuously as possible. Oh, that damn piece of paper that turned your life around. A little ‚good evening‘ barely leaves your throat and Mister Lee presses a button underneath the table top after gazing over the document nearly thrice. Following his insistent eyes, you leave your phone on the table altogether, and now have virtually nothing to hold onto. You opt for putting your hands in your navy blue pants pockets. If that’s any good around here, staying a little hellishly casual. 
‘A very good evening indeed,‘ is what Mister Lee’s eyes seem to reply.
The door shifts open with a dull, booming sound. Very well then. You stagger inside toward what’s hopefully behind it — suddenly feeling so terribly exhausted. Hazy. You don’t know how it hit you. So many scents. Impressions. Movement. Space. Eyes. Heartbeats. 
You try hard to focus on the first candle you can see around, and you do find one, and it does ground you. After their split-second delirium, your feet anchor on the carpet now, and the scenery pulls you back to breathing. Now, the bigger picture becomes a lot clearer. 
There are several men settled everywhere across the room that opens before you so luxuriously. All dressed in the finest of garments and polished shoes, donning the most annoyingly impeccable haircuts on top of that. Everything about this room screams dignity, and haughtiness, and a hefty bank account. 
But you can’t deny another, stronger hunch. The presence of one gentleman in particular sends a chilly feeling down your spine. You can’t tell who it is now. You just know that somebody here is very different. Dangerously so.
Between armchairs, chandeliers, blood-filled cups and side tables, you spot arrangements of night-blooming jasmine and daffodils. Large and opulent, really catching your eye with their elegant trumpet shapes. 
Perhaps, and you really have no clue whether that’s a good theory, to suggest that however solid teak and mahogany this entire interior might be, there is still life and scent in it. But it’s all… so carefully curated. Too deliberate to be authentic in the very least, and that’s what is making you tense up so much. You know very well that nobody in this room, if it weren’t for this meeting, would be preoccupied with flowers. Except maybe Taemin. But he’s half-elven, so that doesn’t count. Elves love jasmine.
Meanwhile, you suspect that the cups with blood were purposely brought in to catch you off guard pretty much right away. To test your self-control, get you startled, or lord knows what. Power games in this club, you’d not be surprised. But the scent really is so overbearing. You become all light-headed. Whatever they set up for you here, it’s already working. You feel like falling asleep in the middle of the damn night. 
The fumes, and the candles, and the daffodils—
„Wong Yukhei,“ a voice finally pierces through the mist inside your brain. 
You perk up. It belongs to a figure seated in the deeper middle of the room. A dark-haired man, noticeably tall and baritoned, with full lips, immense shoulders. In fact, a frame to behold all tailored in matte black. Down to the pointed oxford shoes, laced up in a very brisk way as if someone pulled a corset very tight.
„Yes—?“
„Half-lycan. Club president. Have a seat.“
Now you know why he speaks first.
It’s like you’re frozen on the spot. Judging by how muscular he is underneath that very suit, especially around the upper body, you don’t want to catch a glimpse of what happens when the moon says hi. Half werewolf it is. No wonder his hands are huge like paws. You don’t have to count one and one together to know that this guy could go casual beastmode and rip the room’s door in half.
„A... alright.“
Stammering like a fool isn’t something you planned but comes out as a sheer reflex. To distract from the awkward tone, you resort to looking around. You wonder if the club is in full attendance. Because who knows, they could await some more people like you later on. There are actually quite a few empty seats to choose from. A dozen, perhaps a bit more. Each with a filled cup on a table, right to the brim, one more flavorful than the other.
Since the president didn’t gesture towards any seat in particular, you find yourself having to make an intuitive choice. Whether that’s some werewolfey ‚where does she put up her territory?‘ personality quiz or whatever… is unimportant because your nose is already telling you precisely where to sit anyway. In fact, obnoxiously so. It’s itching like crazy at most of the scents except one. You realize — at least that you can rely on. There’s that one cup you want to be close to. Ignoring it would probably torture you for the entire night so you give into it.  
Taking the empty chair at the chimney fire on the right side of the room comes naturally. And: With several eye pairs resting very firmly on you. But your attention is elsewhere already. The blood in the goblet of this particular table really does smell like the most delicious thing. There’s something magically attractive about the consistency. You can feel with your whole body just how amazingly juicy and welcoming the drink is. For a strange reason, it seems like it’s almost iridescent. You’ve never seen that before. Everyone in the room has the current pleasure of watching you being smitten by a fucking drink.
There’s no way they didn’t see you lick your lips like a first class pervert either.
Whatever first impression you’re giving them, it’s one that makes a part of you mentally run out the door again. Poor Taemin thought you were a promising invitee. You feel bad for disappointing him already. Slave to your instincts, how on earth are you even supposed to sit here in the finest and highest of company. Creating sexual tension over a glass of blood in a millionaire’s club or whatever.
Still, against all odds, the other part of you glady reclines in your seat, sleazy like a retired Russian oligarch on his yacht. Because that means: Smelling that heavenly scent up close. Hell, just fuck everything else. It’s the most gratifying thing you’ve come across. Did they brew you a damn magic potion or something? 
You have a hard time snapping back to the conversation and realize everyone is still intently looking at you admiring your cup as if it’s a prime time television event with Zac Efron in it. Which you now force yourself to break from. Not so gladly this time. You really want to have a sip, but Yukhei’s pressing gaze demands you to make your move. You wonder why his eyes are so livid, but again realize that he probably doesn’t need the moon to be wolf-like, does he.
„So you were the one who came up with inviting me, then?“ you say, and the words come out much more bluntly. It surprises you. Since you skipped the introduction and small talk altogether, maybe your mouth thought, why not strike a direct tone. Just being in the vicinity of something so mouthwatering makes you feel on top of the world out of literal nowhere. You’re about to lose your train of thought again that Yukhei fervently shakes his head.
„It was Baekhyun’s suggestion. A terribly daring one I thought,“ he says. „Thank him that we agreed to meeting you in person. In fact, he was very adamant we’d do so.“
You look around the assembly, hoping to find clarity about whoever prompted the invitation letter. Since nobody seems to put anything forth, you quiz yourself on who of these gentlemen looks like a Baekhyun, and why nobody is reacting. Everyone’s literally sitting there like marble statues. 
According to Taemin, getting an invitation to Club Daemon is not only something that excludes the general public, but also merely a fleeting ‚rumor‘. Not even a neighborhood legend if it came down to it. Because on more official papers, this guild does not exist. Whoever wanted to invite you was indeed taking a notable risk — to the president’s nuisance, on top of that.
Oh yeah. Now you’re at the edge of your seat.
„Eh. I’m afraid Baekhyun cannot meet you in this particular setting,“ Yukhei breaks into a lop-sided smirk. You’re shocked he’d pull a dismissive face like that. So openly, like he simply doesn’t give one damn all of a sudden. Strangely enough, it still doesn’t take away from just how nobly he’s dressed. It’s seriously messing with your head. Or is it the goblet?
„So, this setting, um—“
You look like Yukhei just spoke in a different language now. Stifled laughter among the guild members. At least they’re reacting now. That’s progress. But you’re even more confused and stuff your hands back into your pockets.
„See. Carpets are typically not Baekhyun’s favored grounds. He’s half-merman,“ Yukhei continues, very much composed in his seat now just as before. And it finally registers.
Oh man.
You can’t spot some giant water tank in this room or anything of that kind. There’s no way he could just casually hang out here. Of course he can’t greet you in the club. Sweet Jesus. You have too much blood and flower scent around you.
„But not to worry. You’ll get to meet your sweet benefactor,“ Yukhei leans back, the smirk growing even wider. „Baekhyun can speak to you in the club bathroom from time to time. If he’s not out there playing around in the bays like the kid he is.“
„I see? Uh...“
You shift back and forth in your seat. Even if your brain somehow tries to piece that information together, keeping your eyes off the chalice is so hard all over again. 
You can’t lie, it’s even starting to get you hot and bothered from the toes up. Gritting your teeth is all you can do not to gasp out loud. Literally, you’re one moan away from semi-public indecency. That is, if human law applies to this room. Going by how everyone is so keen to see you react, it probably doesn’t. Your ears are telling you that pretty much everyone is holding their breath right now. Untouched orgasm at 7:30 PM? Wasn’t on your plan either. But looks like you’re headed for it. You wonder if Yukhei has been planning to set you up for this and—
„We didn’t put this up to confuse you, Y/N. Please feel free to drink. We want you to feel welcome here,“ a second, innately friendly voice addresses you now, parting the silence like a vintage knife through warm butter. It’s much softer than Yukhei’s, as if laced with honey.
Immediately, you recognize the sound. It is Taemin.
Seated to Yukhei’s far left in a flawlessly upright posture. Blond and lavish, dressed in a type of brocade tux. It seems to be a mix of burgundy and golden pipings in the fire light, but you could be wrong. With good reason and regard to most members present, the room is kept very dark. In fact, the atmosphere couldn’t be any more controlled. Nevertheless — finally reuniting with him is such a relief. You already want to thank him for averting a full-on catastrophe.
„Taemin! It’s good to see you again,“ you finally break the tension. Your tone loses all discomfort, your face brightens. Taemin gently bows in response. His poise lights up the room, and you even manage to detach from the chalice.
„The pleasure is ours. It’s great to see you again as well.“
You recall. The memory is still so vivid. He was the one who brought you the letter in the late evening. You were sitting on your balcony scrolling through your phone feed and boom. There he was, sitting — even seemingly glowing or whatever it was — in a cherry tree. With his pointy ears and an envelope for you, the exact invitation Baekhyun had suggested. As far as you can remember, he’s been elected as the Club’s vice president very recently.
Taemin explained a lot of the club’s incentives to you on the balcony. Even if you did manage to drop your phone in shock at his appearance, his open approach had you packing up your bags for the mansion in a matter of two days. Seems like the club knows who to send when they don’t want to intimidate possible recruits. If Yukhei showed up in that dark suit and the low brow, you probably would’ve turned into a bat and headed for the forest. Well, or something like that. Meanwhile, Taemin feels like you’ve been familiar for decades.
„Do drink. It is handpicked for you!“
„Thank you, Taemin,“ is all you can say, and turn back to your drink with shaky hands. Finally. And well. If Taemin offers it, it can’t be wrong. It’s far too late to ignore it anyway. You already grab the base of the chalice like you’re holding on to dear life.
The first sip is so hasty, Yukhei almost has to laugh out loud. Or is it a laugh? Taemin frowns right at him, but you’re too busy chugging to notice. Hawthorn, lotus, apples, water lily, chestnuts and vanilla. So many nuances, too little tastebuds and too little words to describe it. You’ve never tasted blood of such a quality. For free. Not one pause to breathe, it just goes down like fine liquor.
Everything in your body starts to feel completely alert. Whoever this blood belongs to, whatever is going on, this is the most thrilling feeling you’ve experienced in a while. It’s like floating inches above your seat. Your face is feeling all heated as if the chimney fire burns your cheeks. Your skin is normally pretty cold and stays that way if you think about it. 
At the same time, you’re surprisingly refreshed on the inside. The blood left a minty trace on the back of your tongue. You know the men are watching you, but you can’t help but ride the high of the taste for a few seconds with your eyes closed. Once the rush is fully over, you slack in your seat. Open your eyes. And sigh out. Goddamn. 
If that means to feel welcome here, then you’re more than convinced. Taemin knows how to serve an aperitif. Everything about your body feels relaxed. You bet your pupils are more blown than Yukhei’s dick in his freetime going by how he sits and watches your reaction. Manspreading is an understatement. Wolfspreading is the new thing. Literally, what on earth happened. He’s glowering at you like you just stole the keys to the glitzy silver sportscar that’s parked in front of the mansion and without a doubt must be his. Your eyes aren’t deceiving you even if the light is so dim: He’s straight-up gotten all angry to the point of gritting his teeth.
But there’s also something that tells you he’s afraid.
„Now, you probably want to know why we’re interested in you, right,“ Taemin gently continues once you put the empty chalice down and make very needed use of the napkin already placed next to the cup. Heartbeat: Speed of a bullet train arriving at a station.
„I’m starting to see why.“
Most of your exhaustion is actually… gone. Out of the blue. You’re feeling much more perceptive, much faster in every move. Maybe Edward was right with his personal brand of heroin. You just never knew because you had 5 Pounds 50 blood from TESCO’s every day until now. So that’s that.
„We didn’t find a novice in twenty years,“ Taemin says. „Nor a half-vampire for that matter.“
In passing, he ushers a slender-looking butler towards your table. Casually, as if he did it a million times already. So far, using the shade of the lighting, the butler had been blending in with a velvet curtain until now. You ask yourself if you’ve actually noticed him or not. You can’t clearly tell which is strange. But then again, going by the course of events until now, not really.
„Right,“ you reply, trying to focus on Taemin — without much success. The butler simply looks too striking. He uses a large carafe to refill what probably measures up to another quarter liter into your chalice. He looks at you with sheer intent, it’s Yukhei’s gaze times ten, almost like it’s bundled into a lazer. Instead of being excited about the refill, you find yourself trying to desperately decipher the butler’s look. It’s not wolfy this time, that’s for sure. It’s something far, far different. It’s something deeply scary.
The butler lingers. It takes five seconds too long for him to return to the curtain. There’s that feeling again. That hunch from before when you came in, so much stronger now. You’re shivering. The man looks so serious in his crisp red suit, with the pin stripes and a golden pocket watch at his lapel. His aura is so freezing cold.
„Meaning, our guild could urgently use a new addition,“ Taemin keeps on speaking, with Yukhei closely listening to how he puts his words. In the meantime, the butler stands completely still in the dark, merging with the curtain almost completely again. But you can tell his eyes are on you. His frame looks so skinny at a distance, but you can tell he’s much stronger than that. Lord knows Yukhei might not be the only one who could break the door in half.
You hold on tight to the napkin in your lap. Where you thought you’d feel elated, you’re all sober now.
„Twenty years is a long time,“ you comment, a lot more dryly this time.
Even in a club where nobody ages by human standards, this could be quite a frustration. Looking around, you begin to understand why the invitation was such an urgent matter and there are many more empty seats. All the members look very established and at home to say the very least. Nobody here appears to be a novice.
„It is,“ Taemin replies. „You can see why we wanted to talk to you.“
„Yes. I can. Thank you for considering me. It was a bit out of nowhere but, I guess there’s no way to do it differently.“
Taemin nods. Meanwhile, Yukhei remains visibly displeased in his center seat, with his expression growing much darker by the minute. You can’t tell whether he didn’t like you downing the blood so fast like a post-diet Dracula or how Taemin explained all of this to you now. You don’t have to wonder for a long time, though.
„That we expand our assembly with a half-vampire out of all possibilities— was not my idea,“ Yukhei taps his fingers onto the lion-shaped armrests of his chair. The poor fellas probably have a hard time carrying his frame, fragile as they look. Taemin, on the other hand, is as nonchalant and petite as you got to know him. Like a feather on his seat, he sways his torso ever so slightly while he listens. Then, he reaches over to pat Yukhei on the shoulder with a wide, reassuring smile.
„But you were still delighted that Baekhyun found someone, didn’t you.“
„You make it sound like a public holiday. Eh, we’re recruiting, Taemin.“
„You didn’t take too long to agree to sending the invitation at all. Back when Kai joined, you needed five months to say yes. And he’s half-lycan himself.“
„Because Jongin was a grade A stupid bastard… and still is,“ Yukhei darts an even lower gaze to a particularly shaded corner of the room. Whoever this guy Kai is, he’s sitting right there and grins his life away. Now that you set your eyes on him, you’re about to piss your fucking pants.
Even behind a particularly large array of jasmine bouquets, his silhouette looks the most powerful out of all the club members despite him not being as tall as Yukhei. Where you would’ve called the Yukhei ‚strong‘, Kai was first and foremost athletic — head to toe, with a looming frame. He’s kept silent for the entire time, but he sure listened well.
„It’s a competition, Yukhei,“ the silhouette crosses his legs, laughing. „Whoever is bastardly enough is qualified for being the club president. Sounds like I’m headed right for it. But you’re also knee-deep. Knee-deep, I’m telling you.“
Kai’s voice is much lighter than you thought it would be, but the way he speaks commands instant respect. Yukhei’s answer is a mixture of a growl and a huff, but it’s so blended together that it’s becoming hard to distinguish to your reeling ears. All you know is that the atmosphere in the room feels like a string ready to snap.
So that’s what half-lycans are all about, then.
In case they’re about to fully out-bastard each other, you take another sip to distract yourself. You hear your ears pulse even more. The blood really is delicious and takes your mind off. To your surprise and relief, Yukhei squarely turns to the assembly with a much more point-blank attitude in his movement now. Kai remains entirely ignored.
„That she’s not part of a vampire clan and we couldn’t find possible members for so long is the only reason she’s here, that’s all.“
„Enough a reason,“ Taemin smiles even wider, and puts more soothing into his phrasings. Kai’s unsettling presence doesn’t seem to faze him the very least. 
„We’d be happy to have you join us if you’re inclined,“ he now addresses you again. „I’m sure our talk about the training and formal things will bore you, though. I reckon you want to be introduced to your kind first.“
„Oh…“
Your kind.
That explains a lot. A whole damn lot, to be exact. You can’t help but suck in air, but it’s less awkward than you thought. In fact, your reaction brings some life into the room. Looks like everyone has anticipated this. Yukhei’s eyes narrow. Kai seems even more alert. You feel like a lab rat new to the cage.
„You felt his presence when you stepped in, didn’t you,“ Taemin asks, his head tilting a bit to the side.
You did. The half-elf looks confirmed in his statement.
„It’s him, right,“ you direct your eyes toward the curtain, but don’t dare to lift your gaze any further.
The butler.
He’s been sticking out like a sore thumb.
You felt him since the very first moment.
„Yes,“ Taemin says.
Your suspicion, or rather, what your body told you from the beginning with every shiver and every fiber, was entirely right: With an interpretation you couldn’t grasp just then. But now you do. Your intuition didn’t lie.
„Ma’am. Pleased to meet you. Lee Taeyong,“ the butler strikes a surprisingly fluid introduction. You freeze up again. It’s very unlike his stiff positioning, stepping forth from his usual waiting place so his face is visible to you in candle light entirely at a bit of a distance. Lee Taeyong. His face… really is sharp.
„I was expelled from my clan 80 years ago,“ he disposes of his tray to speak freely now. His voice is so deep, it almost resonates in your ribcage. But then, you see something vulnerable in him. You don’t know what it is.
„Expelled?“
„You can imagine. They found out I wasn’t full vampire,“ he continues. Now you do see them. His fangs. You should’ve noticed. Damn. „That’s how I got here.“
And now you actually get what happened. Taeyong is an outcast. Looking past his teens, 150, 170 years, a tenth of Taemin’s age at the very least. And he’s half-vampire who’s been on his own pretty much: Just like you. That’s something that still didn’t sink in yet. Your kind. The butler of Club Daemon. 
No wonder he took his time pouring the blood into your chalice and looked at you like you’re some kind of revelation. If the cups in the room smell only half as delicious to him as they do to you? He has admirable self-control just standing there at the carpet without losing his mind.
You shift forward on your seat — as does Yukhei, unseen to you. Almost automatically, your tone becomes more tense.
„So what happened?“
„I didn’t know my entire family history until that point. I was orphaned,“ Taeyong expands, his mimic controlled. „The clan was all I knew. I never thought I could have any demon heritage. Literally any. For decades. Until my father showed up. It was…I didn’t know he was that far up the hierarchy.“
Your jaw drops. He has to be kidding you. That can only mean one thing, there’s only one person he could refer to.
„You met Satan personally?!“
Dead silence in the room. You could hear a pin drop. In fact, an elven hair strand.
„I wish I didn’t,“ the butler finally says. With a more silent voice. You can tell he has to cave in, force himself. „He gave me this.“
Taeyong begins to slowly loosen his tie. Taemin already averts his eyes. The butler goes on to reveal a left collarbone so scarred, you can’t bear to look at it for very long yourself. The tissue has been deeply torn. The bone, presumably broken twice, healed in an odd way on top of that. You feel the pain in the very same spot within your own body.
Taeyong doesn’t have to tell you that the altercation left his arm fully paralyzed. You just know, like you could sense his presence from far away already. Meeting his father changed his life forever in the worst way possible. Now you understand why Taeyong does the butlering in the club — he can keep his left hand behind his back at all times.
„His father rejected him,“ Yukhei says, sterner than ever. His anger has faded, and an extreme seriousness begins to sink his brows.
„It’s that — Neither my clan nor demon folk really want me present,“ Taeyong’s face is even more barren of an expression now. He’s bottled it all up, it’s hard to watch. It sounds like he hasn’t spoken about this for years. „This was the only place I could go at that point. Yukhei was very helpful. I hope you can feel the comfort of being accepted here like I do.“
„I… don’t understand why Satan would disapprove of you so much, Taeyong.“
„Some demons willingly get together with vampires,“ Taemin steps in now, careful in his intonation. „But Lucifer rarely does. And, only when he’s drunk. If you ask him on a normal day, and I know this sounds harsh… he despises most of pure vampires, and half-breeds even more so. He is also Yukhei’s father.“
„He is?!“
Now you’re almost falling off your chair. That Yukhei’s father must be one of the higher-ups in the demon ranks was already a no-brainer, but this —
„Idiot cast me from hell the second he found out I can grow these longer than his silly horns,“ Yukhei points at his mouth, baring all teeth now. Even in their natural shape, they’re already razor sharp, sporting clearly prominent fangs. Even your canines, and those are hardly used and worn down, aren’t as slicing as his. When he says he can grow them that long, you fucking believe him.
„He’s… not been the most accepting dad to say the least,“ Taemin folds his hands in his lap. “And doesn’t stick up for any mistakes.”
„’Cause he’s an insecure ass,“ Yukhei makes a disgusted grimace. „Fucks around and then gets mad at what he’s done. Vampire girls he sure likes when he’s doing one of his stupid orgies. But not the consequences. He’s so easily threatened. That’s almost funny.“
You’re stiffer than ever now, glued to your seat. Not in a million years did you think there was some serious family drama going on behind those fancy suits.
„So that’s why this club exists. Satan can’t handle us,“ Kai adds, kneading his thighs. Looking much more detached, almost demure. You can tell that Taeyong’s speech hit the underbelly of everyone in the room. That even Kai looks so sunken catches you off guard. „We’re half this, half that. I mean look at us. Yukhei and I could never be part of a pure wolves pack. Never. We can’t mingle with demons either. They doubt us in any place. Shitty situation.“
Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. Now, the double head emblem on the embossed door makes a lot more sense. It’s not just for the aesthetics. Two faces going into opposite directions. Always torn. Always the onlooker, yearning from a distance. Unable to go in either direction. Seems like you’re in the right place. Or the wrong one: Because you bet this assembly is the very eye of the storm.
„Why did Satan not try to attack the Club yet? Isn’t there even a stairway to hell in this house?“ you ask. If Satan got pissed off by Yukhei’s or Taeyong’s abilities, several people of that kind in one place sounds pretty much the ultimate provocation. Installing a designated hell door with smoke all around even more so. 
„He sure wants to,“ Kai shrugs, again, smirking in this very distinct way. He builds himself up again, and the teasing undertone in his voice strengthens back to normal. „But he’s afraid and doesn’t know about half of us. You see… Hellboy has no way of gauging what expects him. Even if he fucking hates us and wants us dead in a ditch, whatever. We know him inside out, too. Even more than he knows us. I’m sure he doesn’t want to face Taeyong now that he’s not young and weak anymore. He only exploits way down the hierarchy. He knows he can win there.“
„Makes… sense. Sort of— preying on vulnerable people.“
That an insecure hell boss is the reason this very club has formed? Seems to be a better explanation than you thought. No way so many species could stick together otherwise. How you’re in a room with two high functioning, protein-powered lycans both standing over six feet is already a miracle. Just sitting there sipping your bloody drink. There’s even an elf guy. That’s some surreal shit, even Salvador Dalí wouldn’t believe it.
„And, um. Saying that there’s a hell door is a joke Taemin pulls on every recruit,“ Taeyong scratches his head now. 
„Everybody thought that Mark was vaping but he actually put up a room difuser down the hall,“ Kai adds. „He’s using essential oils in there since a couple weeks. So sometimes we do have some fog round that area. But there’s no actual stairway or anything. It’s a club tradition... a hoax.“
Your what-the-fuck expression must be hard to beat right now.
„Er. All right then. So much about hell smoke.“
A whole damn prank. Taemin is not as angelic as he looks, is he. Still part demon, after all. It really felt like there was an entrance to hell around when you arrived here. Taemin’s little giggle right now doesn’t worry you as much as Yukhei’s grunting.
„So much about a hoax,“ he growls back. „I wish we actually had that door so I could go beat his ass.“
High functioning, protein-powered lycans with daddy issues. You never thought this club had major drama. Your lips think its time for another comfort sip from your chalice. Blessed thing you have that one. Because all this… got you into something bigger than expected. Eating shrimps on a terrace with some fellow half-breeds on a cozy Sunday evening? Nothing of that kind. Rating Christopher Lee movies and signing up on vampire tinder together just for fun? Nothing of that in sight.
„So, naturally. That we can recruit you is a good feat,“ Kai continues. „You might grow very strong in training.”
“Strong in training?”
“Vampire half-breeds are always up for a surprise. You see how Taeyong is like. He can open jars even I can’t crack. With just one hand. Long as we have a balance of power with hell, the Club is quite safe. Even from my father.“
Looks like what you got yourself into is a Cold War that coincidentally involves people from Down Under — but it’s not Australians.
„Are you Satan’s son as well, Kai?“
Kai shakes his head quite firmly. Just how stark his face structure is becomes visible when Taeyong puts a candle into his vicinity, helping you gauge Kai’s outline much better, which is a bit more reassuring. The butler seems to almost read your thoughts. Your initial shiver gladly has been in decline ever since Taeyong spoke up. And you do believe he can open those jars.
„My old man? Mammon.“
„Mammon? Ugh.“
You can already guess what this is all about. You don’t need to wait a second for Kai to go on a rant.
„He’s a fucker, fucked up, a fucking twat, and fucks around even more so than Satan,“ Jongin kicks his left foot, looking mighty grumpy in the candle light. „I’m sure you know what he’s in charge of. He likes fear and chaos. To say the very least.“
You sure can imagine. Mammon governs the most powerful resource on the planet. Or rather, what people do with it, so… you already don’t have to know anything more than that.
„Talking about him is of no use,“ Yukhei intervenes. „Lost cause, wasted time. What I wanna say is. The vampire clans also don’t know much about us either,“ he now points at you. „That’s our advantage. And the reason why you will have to quit most of your regular life if you agree to be a member. Or take a serum that will make you forget about meeting us. At least, up to the point where you received the letter. I know this is quite a severe change. You can imagine how discrete we have to be. Given everything you heard.“
Yukhei looks dead serious.
Well, alright then. The case is clear. This is legitimate big business.
Club „Most Hated Half-breeds“ Daemon. Outsiders, all of them. The first rule is: You do not talk about Club Daemon. A guild for the All-Transylvanian Rejects, the crossovers from hell gone hiding, the MIB of supernatural creatures. And all just because big daddy Lucifer loves to host an infernal orgy every now and then and never heard of a condom. It’s crazy. So much information intake, it’s time to sort your thoughts.
You take a deep breath, let the blood chalice dance in your cupped palm. Sweeping the remaining liquid at its very bottom, rhythmically. Sweet lifeline. You observe how the drops run as if nothing else in the world existed. And still, you have crystal clear hearing, and your voice is again becoming firmer. It’s the effect of the drink, you can feel it. Such good stuff, really.
„It’s not that I didn’t anticipate it. Taemin said something along those lines when we met. I get why you have to be discrete,“ you hum. Even telling you about the serum before any other information would give away too much. „I’d be back to square one anyway.“
Taemin nods at you.
„We’ll always be between elves and demons, mermen and demons, vampires and demons, werewolves and demons… This club wants to protect anybody who’s caught between chairs. We go to great lengths with secrecy. I hope you will join us in our cause. It’s a new life. Lucas has great plans for us.“
‚Lucas‘ seems to be Yukhei’s club nickname. Taemin appears to confide in him a lot even if he will smooth out his blunders. Meanwhile, you remember how Taemin talked to you about his own parents on the balcony. 
Apparently, none other than Beelzebub is Taemin’s father since over ten centuries. His latest habit seems to be blowing up his son’s phone with strange texts about recent hell politics. If that’s not enough, he asks about what he’s doing all day. It really is a new level of hell-icopter parenting. No wonder Taemin learned to be so appeasing in all situations.
„There are also ways of us finding out who your parents are,“ Taeyong comes to rest his right hand on your shoulder. Carefully, as if asking if it’s okay to touch you. You let him, without much care. Simply by— well, what is it, instinct?
Particularly Yukhei seems to observe this moment with much intent. Monitoring with piercing eyes, wild and deep. Trying to see through you at all cost. Surveying whether you’re a suitable club member, fair enough. But you seriously begin to wonder why he’s trying so damn hard to get into your head. He wants you on his side, sure, why’d he stare like that all the time?
Meanwhile, you don’t even know much about yourself except that you find veiny necks extremely appealing. Duh. So what’s there to analyze. You’re still kinda new to this. Blunt how Lucas is, wouldn’t he tell it to your face if he knew something you didn’t by now?
„At least, your demonic heritage,” Kai finishes the butler’s thought. “It’s not an easy discovery, however.“
Taeyong’s hand really does comfort you. But the thought of involving yourself in family affairs feels more than daunting and spoils the moment more than you want to. It’s something you could avoid until now thanks to simply not knowing much about your background. But apparently there’s no way to run from it.
„You might wanna anticipate that shit,“ Kai cracks his neck from side to side, then adjusts the sleeves of his white camisole. You’re suddenly so very well aware that he can probably see and smell your hesitation from a mile away. „Because when pa from hell shows up to see what’s going on? Preparation is better than being sorry. You gotta know who you’re dealing with. Art of war 101.“
Kai pointing at Taeyong’s battered left side reminds you all the more that lifting the veil is probably better than hoping for the best. If Satan happens to be your dad as well, you’re in huge trouble should he ever find you. Kai is right. Without allies and any knowledge of what you’re dealing with, you’d be lost.
Not to mention that Taeyong and Lucas would be your half brothers. Among probably a thousand other people. You didn’t walk through this door to get instant patchwork family. It would be a whole town of siblings now that you think about it.
If Satan has been even busier than that, which you’re sure of, that could mean an entire nation of people related to you somewhere overseas. Most of them being far from half-breeds. Why? Because Satan still preferred his own kind if he wasn’t completely hammered.
„Sounds like a nice prospect,“ you mumble, arms tightly crossed. Thousands of demons all out for your neck. Joining a notorious club network would certainly hide your identity much better than you hanging out in your small apartment in the middle of nowhere behaving like an average citizen. Glorious. You hate everything.
Which one person, as always, disagrees with.
„He makes it sound more dramatic than it is. Especially in this club you are more secure,“ Taemin softly adds, swiping a blonde strand from his right eye. „You must understand. Kai is in charge of defense. We all have our tasks.“
„Figured as much.“
„We all specialize in something we’re really suited for. Depending on our species, usually,“ Taeyong picks up Taemin’s point, and you begin to understand.
On the balcony, Taemin had even mentioned a gryffin member who worked as the designated club driver. Mister Ten as they called him, who was always out and about for a gazillion tasks. From hell mail to picking up tailored suits to doing the shopping to frequenting hospitals and various butchers for… leftovers.
Taeyong being an older vampire would require very specific blood (type A respectably, whreas you preferred O), and both Lucas and Jongin are in their wolf prime. Kai being slightly older but all the more active by the looks of it. So, just like Baekhyun, Ten seemed to be busy tending to that all the time, nowhere to be seen nor even mentioned. Which was a little… suspicious. 
But the ‚everyone has a task‘ seems to be a big deal. And: Everybody is set up to take their spot very seriously, in their supposed element. Being the VP suits Taemin just like being the butler really suits Taeyong. Even Yukhei, you admit, has the exact leading, head-on personality, although mixed with a lot of tempers, that his position would require. And Kai — his body doesn’t lie. Of course he is in charge of defense.
„We would strive to find out your ideal role in the club, too,“ Taemin says. „Kai thinks about this scenario from a combat perspective, but know that cases like Taeyong’s are extreme ones. We’re used to this but you don’t have that struggle. It’s probably like different worlds at the start but don’t let it phase you.“
You exchange looks, and Taemin gives an empathetic nod. His face is really gentle. It seems trustworthy. Again, you notice how his diplomacy helps you the most right now. It’s a bit cryptic, but it’s the type of classy conduct you were expecting to find in the club. You’re damn glad he’s here. Half-elves simply have a different kind of wisdom.
„I guess,“ you look at Taeyong. „It’s an extreme case because he was part of a clan, right, and I wasn’t.“
„Smart,“ Taemin takes up a porcelain cup from his own table and guides it to his lips. It appears to be some sort of elven elixir inside of it, light blue and sparkling. Maybe that’s the source of his maturity or something. „This is exactly the reason how so much conflict was possible in the first place.“
„Right.“
„You grew up with adoptive parents after your mother’s passing. It was unfortunate but also a hidden feat of luck later on,“ Taemin balances the cup between his elegant fingers. „Nobody from hell could find you. You didn’t show many abnormal traits. Nor were you close to any clans that fostered your abilities or spread the word. But especially the former. You grew up in human ways. Your abilities weren’t worked with.“
„Which we can do for you now if you want to,“ Taeyong clears your table off the empty goblet. Instead, he puts a booklet with a red ribbon around its hard cover just there. „In a more covert way that doesn’t arouse any attention.“
„Can we really do it so secretly?“
He really did read the concern out of your face all over again.
„Yes,“ Taeyong emphasizes, then directs his gaze toward the fireplace. „For any half-demon, half-vampire, this is the place to develop herself. We want to honor both sides and work with it. As good as we can.“
„All other approaches usually fail because they’re one-sided,“ Taemin raises his tea cup indicating towards a thoroughly disgruntled Yukhei. You get what the elf wants to say by that.
Yukhei — another extreme case, perhaps the most severe. From a certain perspective, you can imagine how being antagonized by his father and wolf packs at the same time would motivate Lucas to run a club like this. And what would motivate him to act like this, anyway. 
Leading Club Daemon with a velvet gloves approach? It’d be more dangerous than an iron fist mentality. Although it feels so clear to you, past the nebula of the blood cocktail, that Yukhei completely turned this aggressive style into a hyperbole. But you never know what or whom he’s doing it for.
Even at such a young age. You are convinced he really can’t be anywhere near 30 years of equivalent human age even if his height and way of dressing makes him look so settled. His overall presence on top of that: Whatever training they have to offer, it must be compelling.
At this point, you can only say to yourself — fuck everything. And lords knows the whole club is green of envy. No wonder they’re staring at you like that. You grew up so unbothered, your life is a joke compared to theirs. You were ignorant about way too many things about yourself. Looking at how everyone here embraces their origin, not developing your abilities was a full-on heresy.
„I’m actually considering it,“ you browse through the booklet, directing all attention in the room at you so keenly. Taemin sits at the edge of his seat himself. The paper feels luxurious between your fingers. As a first page, the name of who assembled the booklet’s contents is printed in bold. Mark Lee, conscierge, Club Daemon. 1999 edition.
The text details several time lines, diagrams, and fact lists about vampire-demon halfbreed history, on top of outlining a program featuring traits that a club novice could develop. 
Sprouting and care of demon wings. Usage of blood banks. Defense against crosses and garlic. Cities with high vampire populations. Types of claws. The culture of hell. Demonic Spells. Battle Gowns. Impact of ‚Twilight‘ on public perception of Vampires. Symbolism. Vampiric Reflexes. Christopher Lee Movie Analysis. Avoiding Exorcism. Communication with hell hounds. On Hunting and Forests. Fist-fighting Lucifer. Evolution of Ancient Vampire Dress Codes. Fang safety. Hierarchy of hell. Nutrition. Choosing a castle. Strength development. The list is nearly 200 bullet points long.
And the majority of training, it states, is supervised by Kai. Even the lessons on Vampires and Sexual Relations. Other lessons are conducted by Taeyong and Mark, mapping the more theoretical contents.
Most of the listed training units feature things you never knew you could possibly try let alone perform. Some lessons are even more vital than you thought they would be. Things your apartment life wouldn’t have to offer in the very least. At this point, walking out the door would be a grave mistake for an entire variety of reasons and you trust your instinct. The only thing that makes you bargain is not the elephant — but the big and bulky alpha wolf in the room.
What to do about Yukhei. 
Given the hardliner choice between serum or a complete new existence, it’s a question you’ll have to postpone. Interestingly enough, even though he was lycan through and through, Kai doesn’t bother you nearly as much anymore after the initial shock effect faded.
So what is it about Lucas. Even more things you’ll have to find out, then.
You’re nervous with the booklet in your hands, but you can’t complain. The two cups of blood in your system have given you more courage to look the four of them in the eyes.
„Considering what: Joining for the cause or the heritage?“ Yukhei crosses his arms at the solar plexus. His eyes are so probing on you, but you keep your head straight. You very well know that he’s testing you with this one.
„Both. And I want to know my role, too.“
The president seems to ponder for a bit. Then, he hums. More placid than before, you note. He actually seems satisfied with that answer.
„Then let’s start out,“ Kai rises from his seat alongside Yukhei, and both walk towards the red curtain in big strides. Taeyong sweeps it to the side, revealing a heavy door to another room.
Unlike the rest of the house, or at least the parts you’ve seen so far, this area has no embellished walls or ceilings. Not a spark of luxurious colors, either. No dark materials, no curtains, no dutch paintings, just concrete everywhere. It looks heavily worn, but strangely, doesn’t seem to be a relic like the fireplace room’s wooden tiles. All lighting is purely artificial. It seems part gym, part studio, and all furniture is solid metal, minimal, angular. You’d never expect such a modern, plain grey room to be anywere around the house. It smells like a damn hospital in here.
„Our training grounds,“ Kai paces around the area, clearing it and turning a knob that seems to activate floor heating. „The second safest place in the manor.“
„What’s the safest one, then?“
„We have a bunker downstairs. Flood-proof, radiation-proof.“
And Satan-proof, you don’t have to guess.
„Oh wow.“
„It’s unused so far when it comes to catastropes,“ Yukhei roughly pulls off his tux jacket and hangs it over a steel chair. Given how he stretches his arms, you figure it’s to gain some mobility. Or… to show off his huge build to impose his authority and intimidate you which surely is working. „But we do run it as a makeshift jail.“
„You’re keeping criminals in here?!“
„If you’d call Kai a criminal,“ Yukhei raises a brow.
Now you understand. The bunker is actually not meant for somebody else unless the situation calls for it.
„You’re isolating yourself during full moons.“
„You got it,“ Kai nods. „Nothing gets in, nothing gets out. Two days. I got used to the cold down there. And Yukhei locks himself in here with a pile of meat.“
„I…see.“
So that’s why the concrete walls look so damaged despite not seeming that old. If you look close enough, it’s actually not hard to imagine how there’s massive strength and claws at work here. And there must be plenty of things to desinfect afterwards. Hence the hospital smell. 
But then again, Lucas is not the one who gets put in the bunker downstairs. If that one is the safest room, Kai is in all regards the strongest. Which makes sense given his task here. But something about it makes you shift from one foot to the other. If Kai has to jail himself in an atomic prison, what a fucking beast are you even dealing with?
So this is with who you’ll train with, then.
„Nothing you’ll see anything of,“ Taemin clasps his hands, bringing your mind back to the image of meat piled up all over this room. „The member’s private rooms are way up on the 3rd floor. You’ll be situated there as well, in whatever free room you choose. They are very pleasant suites. The interiors are selected Victorian antiques. It’s not like around here.”
“Thank you, Taemin. That sounds great actually.“
“And— we can always predict their transformations without failure.“
„The suites have steel doors as well,“ Kai adds on. „Easy to lock from the inside. We’ve had centuries to think all of this through.“
„Reassuring…“
„Mind you. In case you feel you get a bad craving, you’re doing the same thing Kai and I do,“ Yukhei re-ties his left shoelace, foot placed on the metal chair like a 6’0 Napoleon. „It’s not like we aren’t the only people who have to protect others from ourselves.“
You don’t like the tone he’s striking and try not to look into his direction. As if you’re some crazed vampire lord with a body count and not a bloody amateur. Whatever cravings he’s talking about, it’s hard to imagine how you’d go absolutely buckwild on a concrete wall whining for blood.
„With half-vampires, well… It can happen,“ Taeyong helps Kai pull off his jacket as well. „But lycans still have to take more prevention if I may add. Simply because their whole being transforms and they’re gaining unexpected strengths from it. Vampires hardly do. Our strength is present always. We naturally learn how to deal with it each day. Lycans have exponentional and way more erratic powers in a shorter period of time.“
Now that puts it into perspective. You exchange a thankful glance with Taeyong. The butler gives a composed smile. Yukhei sees that and huffs. Looks like someone’s been projecting.
„We’re dealing with threats from the outside, better check the ones from the inside,“ Kai says, shrugging. „We can’t change that we’re aggressive species but we can lock a door ten minutes before shit goes down. Early risk detection. That’s gonna be a lot of what you’ll learn in the programme anyways.“
„Pragmatic, I guess,“ you scratch your chin. 
And he’s right. There’s nothing else the members could possibly do. Unleashing someone outside of the manor into the surrounding woods sounds like an overall bad idea. There’s a town somewhat nearby, fifteen minutes down the road. And as a matter of fact, you’ve never heard of suppression pills for half-demons on the market. Each species would need a different concoction: Tailored exactly to them in a long chemical process. Given the variety of Satan’s harem, that equals pure scientific madness.
Yukhei cracks his neck, puts the steel chair back in its spot. „We hope so. What reasons you’ll have to lock your suite for we’re about to find out.“
Three minutes later, you’re face down on the center table of the room, Yukhei pulling off your blazer. Even if you thought it would be much more unceremonious, he seems to do it rather slowly. In the meantime, Taemin rings a little silver bell. The sound is shrill and obnoxiously piercing. Seconds later, the concierge enters the room with a clipboard, introducing himself fully now. 
Oh shit, you almost forgot about the owl guy.
„Mark Lee. Bookkeeper, treasure master. Half-goblin. I also do our finances.“
Joining the club officially unlocks a whole new level of information, does it.
„Bookkeeper, I see?“
„Yes, we do keep a secret chronic.“
„Oh, alright? Spanning for how long?“
„Older than this house. I’ll introduce you to the archive next week, in fact. Welcome to Club Daemon, Miss. I’ll be documenting the findings of this test.“
Then, he turns to put down your phone on another table. First you missed it, now you don’t even care. Mark’s sudden appearance has you all wondering. He’s different now. Maybe his initial silence was very much connected to the exact level of secrecy Taemin has been talking about.
Mark comes across much more high-spirited when he talks, and his face appears youthful once it comes into motion. You give a little ‚mh’ as a rather distracted reply, and he begins a lightning fast scribble on his board, using a golden pen that looks like it’s worth your apartment.
Meanwhile, Kai’s interest seems to gravitate entirely to your shoulder blades. He goes about tapping the skin and muscles surrounding the bone, even pulling down the backside of your tanktop by an inch, causing you to hold your breath. He circles the spine, presses too fingers in at either side. He’s surprisingly subdued, but still quite hands-on. It’s not hard to feel that he has experience with examinations like that. In fact, Kai has the touch of a modern day chiropractor. Whatever you should think about that you don’t know yet.
It makes sense he’s in charge of all things physical. And — that the first thing he’ll do is get your wings to grow and work, wherever they may be inside your back right now. Lord knows what kind of reflex or trigger is needed to make them sprout. Mark, in full haste, keeps on checking off boxes on his board and hums, cocks his head every now and then.
Yukhei only seems to care for another area altogether. He holds up your ponytail to take a closer look at the back of your neck. You glare at him for pulling at your hair more than you thought was needed. Taemin volunteers to take up that task instead, with Yukhei going on scanning the nape. His hands are so large and grip at your shoulders, it feels like you’re some kind of prey being handled. Taeyong has no problems reading the discomfort on your face and clears his throat, prompting Yukhei to slack off at least a little.
„It won’t be anything painful,“ Taemin says. „We’re looking for any birth marks to appear.“
„Birth marks?“
„It shows up when other demons or half-breeds are around. It usually gives away who you’re related to. The color and shape show which rank your demon parent had. Not to worry.“
You chant a little thank you, Taemin inside of yourself as a way to keep yourself together and nod.
„Yukhei and Taeyong have large black markings that resemble a lighting shape if you will,“ Mark now speaks up. „Taeyong’s is so noticeable, he always wears his hair past his shoulders. And Yukhei mostly uses a high white collar.���
How fitting. You didn’t expect anything else if you’re honest.
„So I should cover it as well, right?“
„You shouldn’t tie your hair up this way so it can be seen,“ Kai says. „You can be glad it hasn’t alerted anyone yet.“
So… that’s why Yukhei did not seem to be very happy with your ponytail. You’ve been utterly reckless without even knowing. If there was someone who didn’t think it was a tattoo, you could have caused some major issues. But before you can apologize, the president already shakes his head.
„Well. You can keep that silly hairstyle. Because there’s nothing on that neck where there should be something.“
„What?“
„Not one mark. I’ve pressed every spot, there’s nothing. The birth mark should be visible already anyways since we’re here. Our presence activates it.“
Commotion. Yukhei lets go of your neck, Taeyong begins inspecting the area very hectically instead, joined by Kai. Mark seems to be in the most confusion right now and gnaws on his lips.
„But Baekhyun clearly said she has demon descent!“ Taemin interjects. „He sees such things the best!“
„Baekhyun… Little fish only wants her here because he has an eye on her,“ Yukhei grits his teeth, looking like he’s ready to kick the steel chair into a corner. „Swims around and invites anybody he fancies long as they have some decent fangs.“
„Yukhei!“ Taeyong cuts right back.
„I knew something wasn’t right,” Lucas keeps shaking his head, now seeming even more convinced. “Not a drop of demon blood in her.“
„What are you saying!“
Taeyong’s stoic face is turning livid now. You never thought he could turn this angry.
„Stop kidding yourselves. Get the serum, Taeyong. All that jazz we’ve been doing… I’m fucking tired. I told you it wasn’t my idea to invite her.“
Yukhei curses an entire string of very canine-sounding things under his breath and Taemin tries to hold him by the shoulders. The whole room feels like it’s about to explode. Taeyong doesn’t look like he’s ready to comply in the very least. Instead, the butler starts baring his fangs with a defiant snarl. Mark shouts out loud.
„Don’t—!“
„Are you deaf? Get the serum, bloodsucker! We’re not playing around anymore!“ 
Yukhei begins grabbing Taeyong by the collar. His eyebrows start to become fuller, and his teeth begin to crack, growing rapidly. Taeyong, eyes turning blood-shot, fastens his left hand behind his back. He positions himself to bring forth a powerful fist about to shatter right through Yukhei’s face. Alongside Taemin, you struggle to get up and reach them in an attempt to hold them apart. But before either of them can strike out—
„Wings! Her wings!“
Exclamations from all sides. Everybody turns to Kai. Panicked, he rests his hands just inches over your kidneys. Mark screams, loud enough to make Lucas shift his attention. Meanwhile, Kai gestures everyone back to the table.
„Here! Look here, now!“
Incredulous, Yukhei lets go of Taeyong’s suit and jumps right beside Kai. He pulls up your tank top to expose the lower back completely. Mark drops his board and pen. Yukhei’s hands roam all over the area that Kai mapped out through the fabric. And yes. Now you’re feeling bumps there, too. A painful tear pools at the bottom of your spine. The adrenaline of the situation didn’t make you realize.
„They… they’re unusually low,“ Mark chops his words, eyes wide and crouching behind Yukhei as if petrified.
„That means they’re large,“ Kai puffs out. „Look at the color, too. White, grey. They’re spotted in red. I’ve never seen anything similar. As if they’re bloodied.“
You can’t believe your ears, wind on the table. „Spotted wings?! What’s that about?“
„It’ll be even more visible when they’re spread. They’ve been hiding really fucking well down there,“ Kai says. „It’s very unlike any wings of ours. And I can’t get them out, all we did was locate them now.“
Great. You have special snowflake wings.
„Really?“ you’re pretty much staring like Mark yourself now. Kai affirms.
„It’ll take a trigger event that sprouts them. I don’t know what yet. Too early to say.“
„But what does the color mean, then?“
„Our wings are all some kind of… well, auburn. Neither Satan’s nor Mammon’s children have colorings like this. Only Taemin’s are blue.“
„But that’s regular for elves,“ Taemin adds.
A churning knot of panic seems to grow inside your gut. The fact that Yukhei keeps on groping about your back is starting to tug at your nerves as the cherry on top.
„Why, why are they like that? What is this?“
„Y/N,“ Mark inhales sharply. „Please calm down, we only—“
„And why are you touching me like I’m some kind of science object? Who am I?“ you shout at Kai and Lucas, prompting Taemin to slowly pull away both their wrists from the table. In this moment, you could jump either of them.
„I’ve, I’ve only heard of one case with such wings,“ Mark begins, but ends up choking up a cry. He’s shaking all over, takes his glasses off. „If you… turn her around…“
Yukhei doesn’t have to be told twice.
„So her mark is elsewhere? Isn’t it? She’s from a different family altogether?“
Mark nods.
Lucas swiftly flips you on your back. You can’t even blink and you’re already watching the ceiling with five faces right up close above you.  
„Let Taeyong do this,“ Taemin begins to urge Yukhei. „Lucas, you shouldn’t touch her now.“
That you need Taemin’s words for Lucas to hold himself back is starting to bother you. Him just grabbing you by the hips and turning you around felt more than strange. You imagine how in his mind, you’re probably a sizzling steak in a pan that he wants crispy on both sides and you don’t like it. One thing’s for sure: You’re not here for being werewolf dinner. What the hell.
What’s been on your mind even more is that Kai is not even half as annoying despite being so full of protein himself. With his chiropractor hands all over you on top of that. Is it that they’re from different families? Wouldn’t you dislike Taeyong as well then? He’s from the exact same corner of hell, after all. What exactly makes Lucas so pushy to you keeps on preoccupying everything you thought of until now as a bottom line. It’s not like you can ask him directly why he behaves like an asshole.
Three minutes pass. Lucas has stepped back from the table, watching like a hawk. A bit more composed, Mark picks up his pen and clipboard. He still can’t concentrate on writing. Taeyong gently probes each of your legs and ankles, even pulls your shoes and socks off to look at the underside of your feet. Finding nothing, he moves on to survey your wrists by smoothing over them, sending Yukhei an evil eye for grinding his teeth. Looks like someone doesn’t like others touching your soft spots.
Kai watches reactionless, seemingly deliberating. He’s in a different headspace, you can tell. Taemin helps Mark with ticking off boxes on the paper. Taeyong turns your jaw to either direction and slightly upwards to inspect the underside. He glides two fingers over your temples, and also asks you to open your mouth. He counts through your teeth with his digit and moves your upper lip to look at your fangs. Taemin emits a large ‚wow‘ when he does, and Yukhei growls out loud. Kai looks visibly interested, although he still seems to piece something together in his head.
„Extremely durable and angular,“ Taeyong says. „I’ve never seen this shape.”
„Me neither,“ Kai props up his palms on the edge of the table.
„Nobody in any clan I knew had fangs like that. Not even the elders. They’re so sharp… it must be inconvenient often,“ Taeyong requests a measuring tape from Mark who pulls it out of his left suit pocket.
„It is. Shreds every toothbrush,“ you mumble.
Taeyong glides his finger all across your gums above both canines, pressing on the root of each tooth. It seems to get a nerve inside your jaw going, and again your breath becomes shallow. He measures, dictates the unintelligble results to Mark. For some reason, you find whatever he’s doing strangely pleasant. Meanwhile, Lucas has been prowling around the table with a heavy gait. You adapt Taeyong’s method of sending him eye daggers.
„Can you put your story-telling on halt? This isn’t some vampire underground bar at Friday 12 PM,“ Yukhei grunts back at you and Taeyong. „Just say whatever the fuck this means. Shouldn’t you search for the birth mark?“
„Can’t quite tell now,“ Taeyong, sounding rather absent-minded, goes on counting through your teeth each. He’s feeling about like it’s a box of jewelry. 
Beside being an obvious difference to what your mostly human high school mates sported — if you could call them that, high school makes everyone inhumane — you never thought your fangs were anything out of the norm. There weren’t many people you could compare them to in your small home town in the first place. You only saw vampires on late night TV at best.
There’s a strange tingle that spreads across your body now. It’s unusual having someone so comfortable with your teeth.
Your first and last boyfriend headed right for the door when it came to kissing. As if stung by a hornet almost, a complete change of mind. Meeting you at a festival he thought the idea of dating a vampire was „pretty sexy!“. He paraded you around at his birthday party two weeks later, you thinking he was actually proud of you rather than only himself.
You later realized that he just wanted to appear like the bravest guy in the world. To gather his guy friends complimenting him on the ‚spicy catch you got there!“. And maybe, you suspected, also making the female guests compete for him with some one-upmanship towards you. If he needed you to attach any value to himself, what value did he have himself to begin with? It still feels like a bad decision because you said yes to someone like him.
He liked the exterior, but doing the actual dating with all that it entails he had seemingly underestimated. It’s not like you expected him to use any tongue or try a blowjob. Why would you?  Doing that would always be a stupid idea for both. Did he think you would purposely hurt him? Or did he just leech off everything he could get until he had to be responsible and deal with limits? Crazy vamp is what he last called you, and you never heard from him again. No texts, nothing. Does your pussy have monster teeth, too? Just go back to your cave or wherever you came from.
„If you forgive me saying so. They really are pretty,“ Taemin chimes in, then urging Mark to note something down. You take a moment to realize he means your teeth. Mark seems to have a lot of trouble snapping out of his daze at first himself, but begins to immerse himself in sketching and documenting after a while, ruffling his hair like a mad scientist. Lucas regularly gazes over his shoulder and you can tell he’s one grumpy wolf.
„We can show you how to keep them in shape and do a proper bite on someone who agrees on it. But you probably even tried something along the lines, right,“ Taeyong says, and Kai nods, probably wanting to say the same. It seems to be nothing out of the ordinary going by their expressions. But the question makes you more nervous than you actually want to.
„Honestly, I… didn’t bite anyone so far,“ you shake your head, unable to meet the eyes of anyone at the table. You hate the feeling of shame that kicks in almost by itself.
„Come on folks, that’s the first thing you smell about her,“ Yukhei boldly announces from his wandering spot around the dumbbells. 
Way to go. You realize how comments like that are exactly why you’re so nervous. He’s already acting holier-than-thou again.
„I only ordered cheap blood online,“ you try to muster a shrug. Acting indifferent is at least helping you to say literally anything. „All legal but artificial.“
And disgusting, but that’s another story.
„Not hard to tell either,“ Yukhei laughs out. „Takes a blood virgin to down a whole liter of the real deal in five minutes. You were staring at that cup like you’ve gone mad. The difference to cheap blood is quite intense, isn’t it? Wanna see your face if you get a willing neck for the first time. Priceless.“
Something coils up inside of you. Eye daggers aren’t enough at this point, are they.
„Don’t get rude, you dog… Do you like spying on others or what?“
„Come on, come,“ Taemin steps in, ushers Yukhei towards the steel chair.  He leans in, speaking in a low tone to the president. „Little more tact and privacy with a novice. Your dad would thoroughly enjoy this.“
„Would enjoy what?“
„Us creating discord in the club without him having to do crook a single hoof.“
You’re starting to think that ‚Vice President‘ means nothing but ‚group counsellor‘. Fine by you, but Yukhei has been rubbing you the wrong way from the very start. That he tried to attack Taeyong and called him names isn’t something you’ll just ignore. You’re growing increasingly more tense. That there doesn’t appear to be a way to take matters into your own hands is even more frustrating. 
„I think… there’s a reason you’ve been living a more isolated life than most vampires,“ Kai interrupts your thought as well as the ongoing banter, trying to strike a more rational tone. He returned from his thought process, ruffling the long hair at the nape of his neck.
„Okay—?“
„See. Most half-breeds with the same father will find each other. Almost automatically. Look at Taeyong and Lucas. And all vampires will get picked up by clans, their scouts. But in your case… I think you have been purposely avoided. By both clans and demons.“
„What does that mean now?“
„My theory is, I… I suspect. Your father,“ Mark looks up from his clipboard, „is someone who hasn’t exactly been Satan’s ally.“
„My dad is — some kind of, Lucifer’s enemy?“
„Maybe. It’s likely. So, the clans would use to trust your father lot.“
„Does that make any sense?“ you frown at Mark, who hastily continues. You still don’t get why that has something to do with how you grew up completely uninvolved in clan affairs.
„His affinity for vampires was much higher on top of that, unlike Satan.“
„Get to the point!“ Lucas taps his feet on the concrete.
„I, I think that’s why you were born,” Mark carries on, pushing up his glasses. “He got together with a vampire. But he has been mingling with a lot of arch angels as of recently as well. Your father, I mean.“
„Okay? But how would you know?“
„The reasoning is this,“ Mark reads from the clipboard. It seems like he has been working on some kind of theory. „The clans don’t like the archangel’s power nor their politics. And the angels don’t really like us as a club either. Simply because we’re half-demons and have offsprings of Satan among us. I know that’s, that’s really complicated, so—“
Whoever Mark means in all of this word spill, your father is evidently a huge trainwreck already. Who’s against who now? It’s all so hard to understand.
„That all doesn’t sound very good,“ you grumble. „Are you sure your theory holds true, Mark?“
„It all sounds like he’s pulling that out of thin air,“ Lucas says. „Angels and whatnot. That’s some random bullshit.“
The conscierge looks rather overwhelmed with your question and can’t quite get a word out at first. Taemin encourages him with with a little supportive eyebrow raise.
„What I know is. By the signs your… body has. We have to keep you safe here and build your strengths at all cost. Because something’s going on,“ Mark eventually continues, earning strong approval from Kai.
Then, Mark addresses the president, much more fragile in his voice, but still secure in his judgement. „Lucas. If we give her the serum, Satan could someday get her if he musters up the courage and the helpers. Which I think he will. That won’t end well in any scenario. The club is in danger. Do you understand? Putting her out there is a bad idea and she doesn’t want it either. She wants to be a member and that’s instinctively the right thing at this point. Baekhyun happened to spot her now out of all times with good reason, I think.“
Lucas seems to ponder back and forth now. He props down on the steel chair with crossed legs, palms in the back of his neck. He looks genuinely concerned for the first time. You find yourself starting to nod along to Mark in the meantime. You like when he speaks like this. 
„Thank God you’re here then, Y/N,“ Taeyong says. „It’s important you get to know more about yourself. It creates a lot of chaos otherwise. For you the very most, unfortunately. We have to admit that joining the club probably makes it worse. But we can’t know what would have happened if you never found your way here.“
„Yeah, I guess.“
„Your heritage is probably much more… controversial I would say. I hope you don’t take this to heart too much,” he continues. “We’ll still have to find out more. But it’s something else we’re not accustomed to so excuse any crudities.“
You can imagine. If your dad is yet another person having beef with Satan, and there’s even people from heaven involved, things are bound to get icky.
„So, where is my birth mark, then?“, you exhale, voice growing with an acute panic. „Do you know my father’s name or not now? 
“Um...“ Mark stares at his own feet.
“Is all of this a fraud? And what can be more controversial than having Lucifer as your dad?“
Taeyong and Mark are looking at each other far too awkwardly not for you to notice. Kai crosses his arms and sighs out.
„Come on, you two are suspecting something. Tell us.“
All attention is now on Taeyong and Mark who are a puddle of sweating embarrassment.
„We have to… Well…“
You feel like a patient about to receive the most embarrassing surgery. Yukhei roams around the table murmuring and fuming.
„What is it now? What are you avoiding?“
„…pull up the shirt to see the birth symbol,“ Mark spouts in one go. „It’s located in the middle of the chest.“
So here’s the reason for all that tiptoeing and stuttering.
„And I thought you’d need my period blood to paint an ancestry sigil or something,“ you roll your eyes right at Mark who looks like he’s sinking into the ground right before you.
„That’s actually what we wanted to do next,“ Yukhei licks his fangs. 
Taeyong, as if lightning struck him, immediately kicks him in the back of the knees. Everyone turns their heads. Judging by Yukhei’s awkward, reaching step forward and no signs of retaliation, Taeyong has some serious leg strength going despite being so lithe. You never thought you’d see his butlery composure begin to crumble either.
„Stop making weird jokes. You’re a dog just like she said.“
Taeyong’s tone is so cutting, Mark breathes out as if he was the one getting kicked.
„Technically not wrong.“
„You got what I wanted to say, Lucas.“
„Can’t hear you mumbling through your stupid old fangs, brother. I’m fucking proud of being a dog.“
Yukhei does an even more obnoxious werewolf-brand wink that makes even Kai cringe a little. Taemin looks like he’s slowly dying on the inside. 
While they’re all continuing to throw out retorts, you cut the debate short by pulling up your tank top. Must be the courage from getting your teeth praised.
Today’s braless day, but anyways.
Mark immediately starts crouching again, and Kai’s mouth drops wide open. Taeyong collapses right on the floor. Taemin buries his face in his hands.
„It… It is as dramatic as Kai said!“
„What is it now? Can’t you guys handle some breasts or what.“
You look down on yourself. And— soon freeze as you see the large round marking right on your solar plexus. Red as blood and crudely outlined.
„What the fuck is that!“
You get goosebumps. The mark has never been visible before. Whatever work Kai did on your back pressing all sorts of points, it must have activated not only your wings, but also this particular spotting. It appears to be shaped like a medal emblem, depicting a snake and a centaur or whatever creature in bold zigzag shapes.
„The sign of King!“ Mark shudders through his tears. The temperature in the room seems to drop, and the scent of jasmine smells like rotten coal. The sign glows red and large on your chest, and not even Yukhei is looking at your breasts now.
„We’re so fucked, man!“ Kai pulls at his hair. „What are we gonna do!“
„Wait! Wait, what is this!“ you pull at Mark’s suit, urging him to speak on. He can’t properly gather himself the very least.
“I can’t say—”
“Tell me, Mark! What is this sign!“
„Be, Before Lucifer… became the prince of the underworld. It was like this.“
„Like what?“
„There was a King who ruled the 9th circle of hell. For over a million years.“
„Who is that guy? He’s my dad?“
„Yes. He never left. That was, until Satan overthrew him after being cast from heaven. The King purposely decided not to come back and expand his influence elsewhere. He’s now a free-walking spawn of hell. The guy who’s technically… actually the boss. Satan is just tolerated but The King has the actual powers. You can guess… look at how large the mark is.“
„I am the King’s daughter?“
„You are,“ Mark contines. „The daughter of King Belial.“
He can hardly pronounce the name without everybody flinching.
„He’s the original guy in charge,“ Taemin bends to help pick up Taeyong, who’s breaking out in a cold sweat. Whatever is glowing on your chest, it’s something out of the Club’s league and that thought alone drives an equal sweat on your face. Belial, you’ve only heard that name sparsely, somewhere, and you knew hell had kings, but you didn’t know it was a very real tale.
„Satan was expelled from heaven for his pride,“ Kai picks up Mark’s point, but his voice is just as shaky. „So he took on hell and drove out your father after a decade-long war. And, plenty of tricks, dark magic. The King first settled in a radical vampire clan who thought he’d be the ultimate weapon to get back at Satan. And Belial thought he’d had an army now, too. But the arch angels also took interest in the King for that same reason. They wanted to fight Satan, too.“
„Didn’t Mark mention the angels earlier? What’s going on with them?“
„They don’t like vampires, so they lured the King away from the clan to only collaborate only with them.“
„So there’s a triangle going on!“
„Belial hasn’t really retaliated or done anything since then, but we’re thinking that he’s plotting something big together with God,“ Kai continues. „Against anything demonic that they set their eyes on. Not just Satan.“
Your head is spinning. Now God’s involved in this shitshow, too. It just gets worse with every new thing you find out.
„The foe of my enemy is my friend. That type of idiot logic,“ Yukhei says. „And Belial was stupid enough to fuck a trash vampire in the process. And you… are the result that we have to deal with now.“
„As if I can help it! You shut your mouth!“ you jerk up to lash out at Yukhei, but Kai steps in between you. He’s as fast as he is strong, and an impenetrable wall you can run up against all you want. And Kai isn’t foolish, either. He grabs you by the shoulders with extended arms to keep your fangs as far away from him as possible. All Yukhei has to do is step back.
„Stupid— because that got your mom killed,“ Kai says, teeth gritted, but sounding much more sensible than his stance suggests. „You gotta understand. Satan wants to eradicate or silence anyone associated with Belial. To avoid a revenge and losing his position!“
„Then you’re right that he’s a prick…“
„My damn words,“ Yukhei shrugs behind Kai, adjusts his tie. „Now put your tits back and sign Mark’s form, you’re part of Club Daemon without further notice anyways.“
„Wha—“
„Now listen closely madam,“ Yukhei burges past Kai to build himself up above you.
„I’m not gonna say this a second time,“ he throws the blazer at you, and you awkwardly catch it. Kai steps out of the way to let Yukhei step even closer to you. The grit in his eyes is too commanding, untouchable. Mark backs off against a wall, and even Taemin gives up on stopping Lucas. Only Taeyong lingers close behind the president, surveying his every move.
„Since Satan is an illegal worm on the throne and the King prefers to sip ambrosia with God, you happen to be the only legitimate heir. The literal, official ruler of hell. And as we saw, giving you the serum would cause even more trouble. You might even get used against us or yourself. You get me? We have enough trouble and craziness with all this! Do you understand that? From now on: You’re doing exactly as I say.“
„Why are you the one to declare all that now? Yu—“
„No objections. Training starts today.“
————————
„Your wings are so nice,“ Baekhyun smiles, turning twice in his bath tub. The water gently rises, bringing some foam to the corners. If you squint a bit, it actually sparkles. You’re feeling laid-back with the scent of fragrance sticks and candles lingering in the bathroom now. Tangerine, a bit of lemon. A pocket-sized music box strums away on the sink. The melody is foreign to you, but it feels nostalgic and welcoming. There are almost a dozen shell-shaped metal soap holders all around and pointy quartz clusters frame the two mirrors on either side of the room, creating an endless loop of reflections. Yours excluded, which always seems to amuse Ten even if he’s already used to it from Taeyong by now.
A snugly dim lightbulb screwed into a large pink lamp shade right above you spreads some warmth, as does a fluffy carpet underneath you. The vapors of the room become visible as little ascending particles in the light and you wonder how hot the bath water must be. Unlike the chairs in the main hall, the one you currently sit down on cross-legged is meant for comfort solely. A pink and poufy 50s relic, put there specifically for you since it’s Friday.
„Ah…Baekhyun. I forgot you see them for the first time,“ you settle, while he turns again. You find yourself laughing at how cutely Baekhyun spins. That this is the way mermen express their excitement and adoration you learned only last week.
„And, your fangs have grown so big!“ His cheeks are bright and giddy, and his tail glistens from all the soap he tossed around in the water for almost half an hour now.
„I’m on my 50th day of training now.“
„Ooh, that’s so impressive! You’re doing great for sure!“
„I don’t know if I do. But there are some results at least. Kai made me fight Yukhei with bare hands and they came out,“ you wriggle your either wing, and make their tops touch the ceiling. Ever so slightly, you don’t want to break anything around here. Baekhyun’s little bathroom paradise is too carefully assembled to pull any stunts in here, and it’s your Friday night safe haven for long talks and even watching movies on Mark’s tablet. Now, it doesn’t take a lot of stretching to do so in the first place. At this point, wearing your wings out this way is starting to feel natural, even if the way that they shift your balance is still new. They are red-white and stringy, feathery, and spotted just like Kai had predicted.
„He was in his full form, right? You’re really brave you did this.“
„It’s a strange thing sometimes. It’s like I followed an impulse.“ you say, shrugging a little. „I guess — Blame it on instincts.“
You really hoped he would buy that dodge, but it’s a futile try.
„Hey, I mean it. I’m proud of you. Really.“
You push a few hair strands out of your eyes. He’s not going to let you off the hook until you admit it, or maybe it’s only you so fearing to say that, and making it so awkward that he notices.
You don’t want to bare yourself but also don’t want to leave him in the dark about how much his words have been building you up over the last few weeks. It’s almost been two months since you first saw Baekhyun on Mark’s video call, discussing where to relocate the club chronicles after a shelf randomly collapsed. Even a fraction of him on screen made you hold your breath.
Maybe it’s because a whole lot of your ancestors were — although surely snobby and even aristocratic — so bite-first-talk-later and rather reserved folk staying in the shadows that accepting or never doubting flattery is hard for a vampire of your generation. And maybe it’s time you muster up something else than either extreme end of that aristocracy or that terrible shyness.
„Thanks for your compliment,“ you stare at the tips of your fingers that clamp around your knees. „Matters a lot, okay.“
Baekhyun props up his head on the edge of the tub in response and looks at you all blushed. He’s playing with the blue crystal penchant around his neck, and his light purple hair falls into his face in wet little waves until he shakes it. The strands are so thin and plush, they prop up all dry again so fast, as if by magic (which it likely is). His cheeks are so glowing when they’re rosy, you notice every time you see him, but today even more so. To the point where, and you feel it in your gut, your confidence becomes so shaky all over again.
„But don’t praise me too much,“ you say. „It’s only doing what I’m supposed to do and what I’m made up of, I think. It wasn’t that hard.“
„Not as hard as defense against crosses and garlic, isn’t it?“
„Damn right, that was something ese,“ you nod. „But there are much bigger problems.“
„Is there something that preoccupies you as of lately?“
Baekhyun blinks a few times with a falling smile, and you contract in your chair.
„I feel like… It’s so hard to say.“
„I won’t hold anything against you, okay. I just hate seeing you preoccupied night til dawn. That’s not right.“
„It’s…Yukhei is treating me like some kind of tool. Just fostering me because that means a hybrid demon sits on the throne of hell. It feels too much sometimes. Like I have to dance to the beat of his track all the time, you know.“
„I’m sorry. Lucas can be really zealous. I hope he’s not demanding too much from you.“
„Or… training me like a machine. I’m really not a dog’s toy. I don’t think that’s what made my join all this. I don’t have as many problems with my heritage as with the way he takes so much control. It’s… one-sided. And I feel like I should be above that already and just do my thing anyway.“
Baekhyun’s expression sinks even more now, but there’s also something single-minded in it.
„As long as you truly wish to take that position in the 9th circle, you can do as you please,“ he says. „Look at how strong you are. I don’t even have to tell you that. As I know him, Yukhei wants to protect his kind. Including you, that’s why he trains you so hard and wants you to have influence. I know it’s an ironic thing. That you have to be his subordinate now to be his superior in the future. He sees himself as a founding father, so he coaches us. His strict ways are not for everybody.“
„I guess,“ you shrug. It doesn’t sound illogical to you. Having a half-breed in charge of hell would raise the status and safety of Club Daemon immensely, and Yukhei does behave like the club is his child. „I just don’t like it when he uses his position too much without caring about how I want to go about it. I know I’m new to this, but I still have preferences. And the training is for my sake, he’s the one who emphasizes that the most but it feels like it only serves him. Telling him that is like, like— talking against a fucking wall, I don’t know.“
„That doesn’t sound good. I think that you inspired a lot of respect in him. Lucas is afraid of many things.“
„I feel that.“
All too often. When he trains you. At dinner. During any hand-to-hand practice. And especially: On Fridays, where he is tense all day.
„That the pack order is so wired into him doesn’t help. There’s always only superior or subordinate to him, he doesn’t know anything else. The social order of vampires is less defined than that.“
The roles, the hierarchies. You often find Mark talking about it.
„I try to understand it but our ways are so different. I don’t know what it is. Yukhei should know that vampires aren’t responsive to this alpha thing the very best. And I don’t think anyone in Belial’s family for that matter.“
You’ve seriously been wondering how Lucas was donning his big bad wolf attitude. That he was intimidated behind all that jazz would come as no surprise to you. But this type of explanation would be too… simple. Too easy, for all those intricacies, the weirdness of his behavior.
„If you look at it from what he does rather than what he says. He spends a lot of time developing your skills and puts all of his energy into the project,“ Baekhyun’s gaze drops from yours now. „To be honest… I’m jealous of him.“
Now that makes you swallow hard. It implies way too much for you to process right now.
„I don’t, I don’t think he likes me,“ you vehemently shake your head. „Or at least not in a way that feels good to me. And that’s what counts. He’s making me grapple with hell hound holograms and box with Kai until dawn under his supervision. I’d rather be here and discuss with you. It’s really valuable.“
„Ah… thank you.“
Now that you’re on a roll, saying it is easier.
„I’m really glad you were the one who scouted me. I really wish I could be here more often. And, you put a lot of effort into this. You think it’s just talking but it’s important for me.“
The last part you say with a much more subdued tone, but it doesn’t lose its meaning to Baekhyun. That he looks flustered is an understatement. He wriggles his shiny tail and it actually changes its color to light pink, matching his flush.
„You know, it was more of a coincidence. I was counting shells at the beach, I saw you coming out of a pharmacy at the quay. I haven’t told you that, have I?“
Back in May. A very breezy, sunny late afternoon.
„Taemin said something along those lines, but not in detail, no.“
„You had these huge sunglasses on. And so much sun screen. And a big hat. You came out with six packs of iron supplements and cranberry juice in a transparent plastic bag. I couldn’t quite believe it.“
„You really saw it that clearly?“
„Merman eyes can see even in murky water. Kai has trained me to read people at any distance on land.“
„And how did you see that I’m part demon?“
„You had a crop top on.“
What?
„I mean. Come on. That half-vampires like crop tops is clear to me. Taeyong is wearing them all the time. But don’t other people do that as well? Isnt’t that a little—“
Baekhyun starts giggling.
„The sun was hitting your back while you were opening the lock of your bicycle. I could see the wings folded underneath your skin.“
„Oh man,“ you puff out, reclining in your seat. And you thought he was going for a reach. „Okay, I get it. I hope nobody else saw that.“
„It can easily look like some kind of tattoo,“ Baekhyun shrugs. „At least someone who has no idea about demons wouldn’t have realized anything. And it was only visible for a split second since you weren’t standing upright.“
„Okay… that’s good I guess? Just me walking around in a crop top at the bay. Nothing suspicious going on.“
You’re ready to chastize yourself for being so careless, but then again. Arguably, you don’t have eyes on the back of your head. And on top of that, it took someone as trained as Baekhyun to discover your sleeping wings showing in a matter of one blink or two.
„It’s likely that your wings only started growing this very year. I really need you to realize. This didn’t happen in twenty years. I was never as fascinated in my entire life, I—“
And by saying that, Baekhyun’s pupils become heart-shaped, and pretty much everything else about him turns bright red. The hair, the tail, the lips.
Oh.
Looks like you’re starting to understand why Baekhyun didn’t just casually mention you to Yukhei to send out an invitation, bar half-breeds being a rare occurance and highly sought for by the club.
„I called Taemin with my shell phone right away so he could inform the club,“ Baekhyun stutters on. „I’m sorry we’ve been observing you that way. Many half-breeds don’t know that they are.“
„You didn’t do it to hurt me,“ you shake your head, gather yourself, and take Baekhyun’s hands in yours. They’re so pretty and slippery. „You don’t have to apologize. It’s been a lucky coincidence.“
He saw you in the right moment and it decided everything.
„I’d not be here without you, that was very needed,“ you add. „Lost and found, you know. I gotta be the one to say thank you.“
Baekhyun firmly squeezes your hands and looks you deeply in the eyes, even more so than before.
„We’re the ones who have to say that,“ he says. „We didn’t have many good prospects before you. Maybe we can have a better chance being half-breeds in the future. Don’t think of yourself as Yukhei’s chess piece. That takes away all your importance. I think he’s trying to tell you that, too.“
„Maybe. But just know that if he’s so invested in me the way you say, I couldn’t reciprocate it.“
You look down, retreat your hands. Baekhyun reaches out of the tub to cup your chin upward very gently.
„This whole werewolf-vampire feud thing,“ he starts in a low tone. „You don’t have to buy into it. It’s not good for our club’s unity.“
You cast down your eyes. „I know.“
„If we fall apart, that makes us very vulnerable to the outside. It’s important that you stick together, and… he really likes you.“
„Baekhyun—“
„You have an easier time with Kai, right. If you approach Yukhei the same way, that… could be beneficial to your bonding.“
„Bonding?“
You don’t like where this is going. All of your alarm bells are going off right now. There’s cold sweat starting to stick to your shirt at the back of your spine.
„It’s kind of an unspoken codex,“ Baekhyun sounds much more understated now, his eyes become droopy. „If there is a female half-demon with claims to the 9th circle, a mate from the guild may accompany her. But it has to be someone from the upper rank.“
„What!“
„Yukhei is the highest in our hierarchy... He might become your consort. He said to me he’d be ready to do it.“
„Yukhei as my mate? How do I know nothing about that!“
The shock in your voice makes Baekhyun rolls up in the bathtub and his tail turns into a lifeless green. You’ve never seen him so small.
„Because… because he can’t say he likes you.“
„I beg your pardon?“
„It’s all bound to happen because of his status, and yours, and— As I said, it’s an unspoken law. It doesn’t really matter if he confesses or not.“
„Are you kidding me now?“ you jump off your chair. Your wings knock over a ceramic vase in the bathroom cupboard right above the sink. It comes down splintering. „Why on earth does Yukhei push me around like some political… genetics… preservation tool!“
„It, it is not the intention—“
„I don’t want to mate with Yukhei! Not because he’s the president, not because I need some fitting husband apparently, not because he spends a lot of time with me, not because of his money or because he cares a lot about preserving half-breeds, and especially not just because he likes me.“
„You— You don’t?“
Baekhyun’s eyes are wider than when Mark first saw your spotted wings, well-knowing he was dealing with a more delicate subject of the chronicles. But this was something that would turn the annals of the club upside down entirely.
„We’re not compatible. Not in the least,“ you frown. „Did you assume I did?“
„Of, of course! I mean in your position, who else would come to your mind? It’s such a given from both of your sides, I didn’t… even think about it. Please, I didn’t want to offend you!“
You settle on your chair again, fold in your wings. Cross your legs, lean back. An overbearing feeling of depletion makes your whole body ache.
„You know. That’s the thing with tradition. Nobody thinks about what they actually want. They just follow a program to satisfy some stupid custom. To soothe their ego, their morals, I don’t know what. But that leads them in the opposite of being satisfied. Because it’s against their real wishes. Doing away with quite a few traditions without causing much damage would be entirely possible, wouldn’t it.“
„I think traditions do serve someone,“ Baekhyun shrugs. „Many people.“
„In this case, only one person. Hint: tall lycan man who wants to fuck me. And take me as a wife which I didn’t even know until now. And how would I if he’s yelling at me about putting away my tits as if I’m some chunk of trash.“
Baekhyun stutters, decoiling not one inch from his position.
„Didn’t he do that in front of others?“
„Yeah, but why are you asking?“
You can’t help but put some sharpness into that reply. All that mating monkey business is reeking of bullshit.
„Lycans are, well you know it. Really possessive. He wants you for himself, he… he’s affected by your body. Everyone can see that. So, everyone automatically thought he’d just, sooner or later make a move on you, you know. You’ll be exclusive to him.“
„You really think that Yukhei is territorial over my fucking tits.“
„On the outside he was acting grumpy that it was a half-vampire coming to us out of all races. But he sent out Taemin with the club invitation letter in a matter of a day. The fastest he ever wanted to get someone to join was when I scouted Ten as our chauffeur. Ten had all the qualifications and he’s half-harpy, they get on with lycans very well, but Yukhei was deliberating for two weeks.“
You shake your head.
„He sent it out because the club direly needs extra manpower, a new element, whatever, that’s why. He literally said so.“
„Yukhei ordered to send out the invitation only when I told him that you’re a good-looking… woman.“
You’re gasping for air. Can this get any worse? This has got to be a bad joke. It sounds like Yukhei literally wants to own you.
„Is he— that desperate?“
„He’d not mate with any full-lycan or half-human half-lycan, or humans altogether,“ Baekhyun shakes his head. „And how could he, he’s the president and protector of the only demon half-breeds club there is. Anything else would be out of character.“
„So me being in need of a mate because of all this heir thing… serves him well and he’s already planned all of it and treats it as a given in the club. All behind my back.“
You could rip out all your hair at this point. You curse him. This dirty, sneaky, cunning wolf guy.
„From his perspective, it makes sense. Nobody else in his shoes would do it differently. He didn’t mate at all yet. We respect that he will take that only chance because he has the last say, you saw that. If a lycan runs a club, we go by lycan ways.“
All you can do is plant your face on the edge of the bath tub and puff out a deflated noise.
„So I’m the only fuckmeat in sight. To get rid off his virginity.“
Oh God, no. This has got to be a terrible dream, even the club’s chronicles pre-1689 aren’t as tragic.
„Yukhei’s instincts are going crazy since he reached maturity. Kai already mated earlier in his life and takes Beta status. I guess that’s why you get along a little better. But with Yukhei… he’s so depraved, he’s even ready to mate with a half-vampire.“
„I saw how hostile he can get with Taeyong…“
It still pains you. That Yukhei would go at him with full fangs and claws even if Taeyong is so severely marred was a punch in the gut. You don’t doubt Taeyong’s strength, and you saw he was ready to defend himself properly and resolutely. But it showed a lot of true colors and you thought about it for many nights.
„Exactly. That he said he’d be your consort tells you how much he needs somebody. He’s even ready to bury the rivalry and also contests anybody of your race. Taeyong is competition to him.“
„Jealous possessive alpha looking for a trophy,“ you bury your face deeper in the enamel of the tub edge. „Baekhyun. I fucking swear. You’re giving me even more reasons not to get with him. He’s even dragging Taeyong into all of this.“ Taeyong, who made you feel so at home and comfortable with being half-vampire. Who was very open with you and had exactly the integrity and dedication and utter class a club member needed to have. A confident, quiet strength and rolemodelship that you could always look up to.
„So talk about unity,“ you grit on. „And I’m only tolerated to Yukhei. If I’d be a guy, he would’ve sent me an invitation after like 5 years, wouldn’t he? Yukhei cares a lot less about halfbreeds than he pretends. How would I get with this guy if he’s such a mess. Never ever.“  
„You actually wouldn’t?“
„Come on! If that’s not clear at this point. No degree of Yukhei wanting me means I want him. Man, what the—! He’s planning my life as if it’s his factory. He’s making chaos out of everything.“
Hell, Yukhei must be more than insecure if he reached that level of entitlement. And you only get to hear it from Baekhyun? He’s not just insecure, but also a coward. Just how much he’s living in his own bubble is hard to fathom.
„But, it’d be an honor for you to be with the president. Is there a reason you don’t like him back?“
„Baekhyun. I don’t give a fuck about his arranged marriage thing. He has no respect. I want someone else.“
„I mean, I… You’re free to choose from the assembly. You’re the Queen of Hell. You can do whatever you want.“
„Apparently not.“
You cock not one, but two brows right at him. Baekhyun seems entirely confused. It’s so strange to you how he doesn’t seem to catch on in the very least. Yukhei really must have threatened the other club members. Nor does he seem to take your role seriously in the very least.
„Is there someone you want to mate with, then?“
„First time someone ever asked.“
You straighten your posture and tap your fingers on your knees. Admittedly, you’ve probably picked that one up from Kai.
„The guild accepts any of your wishes. It’s just a recommendation or a tradition that—“
„Yeah yeah. A dumbass expectation. Disguised as some… guideline. And everyone’s parroting it just because Yukhei is the boss. I don’t like that, okay. I’m not on board with his personal agenda. Because it’s shitty. Full stop. I’ll shove his bonding schtick up his ass until it comes out of his ears.“
„Ah, I, I see. I get it now.“
„Understand, Baekhyun. Rules have to be adapted to the benefit of those they concern. Are we agreeing on that?“
„That’s only logical!“
„So you get that I have someone in mind that I want to have a consort. That person is not Lucas. You see that the benefit would apply here, that, you know, I mate with that other person instead.“
„Sure! Do you need any help with selecting somebody? Wouldn’t Kai be a perfect match? You’re both so strong! Or Taeyong. You have great chemistry! Mark is very impressed by you, too! Haven’t you seen how shy he is?“
You want to sink into the ground on the spot. It just goes on and on. Man, you need a 500-year coffin nap with extra dust and spider webs and no garlic in the radius of ten kilometers.
„Baekhyun, you, you are… God damn…“
You can’t say it. You can’t.
„Always glad to help,“ a bright smile lights up his face once again. His tail turns back to a very familiar turquoise.
And just when he decoils himself to his full size—
It happens.
„Ah! What was that!“
Baekhyun begins to jerk up and winds. You panic. The surface of the bath water colors with red almost right away. He grabs his tail in pain. You dive either hand into the tub to pull up his tail.
„It’s a splinter! It fell inside the tub!“
„From the vase?!“
„Yes, it’s, it’s…“
„Are you okay Y/N? You look different!“
He seems more shocked about that than the fact that he just got pierced.
„It’s…stuck here. I’ll pull this— out and… and. Very carefully, and…“
Your hands work on their own. There’s nothing in your mind that has to direct them. The piece of ceramic is easy to remove from his scales, nor is the cut too severe at all. It’s not even two fingers long. But he’s bleeding. He’s bleeding. It’s unbearable. You mindlessly cast the splinter into the sink and look at your hands, and the water, and his tail.
„Are you really okay? It really doesn’t hurt a lot!“
„Baekhyun,“ you slide forward from your seat and linger at the edge of the tub, facing him. „I can’t take this shit anymore. Please.“
„Oh my god. Your eyes are going red! Should I call for Taeyong? You’re looking really sick!“
„Don’t you understand. How, how are you not seeing it,“ you clutch at the bath curtain, dizzied, and it’s like you’re seeing double. Baekhyun tries to keep you upright in his arms that wrap tightly around you. But your head has lost all its stability, tipping way forward. You’re face-to-face, forehead-to-forehead with him now, a frantic, salivating mess. Your lips feel so swollen and pulsing, it’s hard to keep them pressed together at all.
„I’m… I’m not sick. I’m not. Hush— Listen to me now, Baekhyun. I don’t want anyone else’s blood. You’re the one I wanna mate with. I want yours. And not just a little bit of it.“
Open mouths. You gape at him, he stares right back. You’re already expecting him to call for Kai to drag you into the serum room. So much about Club Daemon.
To your surprise, he doesn’t. Instead, he begins to blink like he just heard the most incredulous news, pulling away from the embrace. He looks at you in earnesty.
„Why didn’t you just say that right away?“
Baekhyun turns the brightest shade of pink all over yet. „I never thought you’d like me back this way.“
„Really?“
„Of course…“
„God,“ you laugh, „oh God.“
„And who said you can’t drink all you want from me? That’s literally what I was gonna offer—“
You are already shoulder deep leaning into the water with your arms grabbing hold of his tail. Some of the water even gets into your nose and it’s terribly soapy from Baekyun’s shampoo, but saturated with enough blood to knock a tidal wave of adrenaline right through your system.
This is the freshest and warmest you’ve ever had it. It’s feeling like a shark in the water. The lithe red clouds wavering through the tub loosely clinging to your face and lips makes you go weak in the legs. It tastes sweet like actual candy. And it’s so, so… familiar. Being surrounded by all that cherry pink water is better than a coffin nap and no garlic pizza combined. This is way too good. You can be glad your air is running out and the wound begins to close behind scales getting back into order.
„Wow! You can hold your breath for a long time,“ Baekhyun gasps when you surface.
„I didn’t,“ you cough, and take two minutes to gather yourself.  But not exactly because of that much water getting inside of you. Rather, the blood is showing its very effect already. „The wound should be fine, um,“ is all you can say, but Baekhyun only smiles in reply.
„Oh? You don’t look full in the very least.“ he swipes his hands over his wet neck and pats it. „Try it here!“
Oh please no, not the patting and the slapping. It brings all the best veins out, oh fucking no. But he continues to do just that. At this rate—
„Can’t guarantee I’m not getting really horny.“
„Huh? If you’re not I’d be worried. Didn’t you say you want to mate with me?“
„Well… yes.“
„I’m just really honored, I need a little moment.“
„You don’t have a problem with me just… vandalizing your neck?“
„Isn’t that what it’s for? It doesn’t suck itself.“
Baekhyun, with the most innocent little expression, continues just as before kneading into the sides of his neck. His long… tan, glistening piece of art neck. You probably look like a starving wet poodle preying for a bone, and then there’s him in the tub, sparkling like a water god with his beautiful cherry hair and droopy brown eyes.
With every smack on the side of his neck, your pants squarely decide to get a little more soaked. Maybe because it sounds like you’re already fucking. Maybe because his neck is bursting with everything a girl needs. It doesn’t suck itself, huh. And your canines are in best shape because you floss them twice a day just like Taeyong said. Uh oh.
„I’m so sorry I… I think I’ll tear you up.“ Why does it have to be so long and throbbing. His smell is turning your brain inside out and back again. „God Baekhyun, you’re tormenting me.“
„Hey, not fair! That’s your job,“ he’s pouting again, and probably begins to realize he’s been doing more prep than most porn stars nowadays because the kneading stops. Without much further ado, Baekhyun squarely beckons you to climb into the tub.
„Are you really ready—“
„Don’t worry, Taemin is great at cleaning the tiles. He actually loves doing that.“
„I want to make this enjoyable to you, Baekhyun, so…“
„I don’t know, you don’t have to please me or anything,“ he shakes his head. „That you like me is already overwhelming enough.“
„A bite is serious business. I still want you to enjoy it like I do.“
„If you want that. Just, just do it harder,“ Baekhyun wriggles himself up, pinker than ever. „If we’re doing it unprotected… I want this properly.“
Finished off with a shy smile. This guy is making you go times more nuts than the first raw blood you had in that chalice. You start to understand what Mark really meant by recently mentioning how Baekhyun’s parents gave him „A certain inclination“. A well nymph and Asmodeus, demon of lust, combining? That could not possibly create anything less than somebody so enticing.
„Baekhyun, always tell me if I should stop, I, I try to rein myself in, okay. You’re too delicious…“
„My veins stop swelling, just bite already,“ he sways his tail, keeps on rubbing into in throat again with his flat palm. „Just don’t worry. You’d have a hard time draining me. You saw my body just heals itself fast.“
„Yeah. Merman thing. Mark said that.“
„You can also fuck me if you want to.“
„Baekhyun, you really don’t have to offer yourself just because my body is going crazy.“
„But I’d really enjoy it. How aroused are you?“
„In all honesty… Bram Stoker novels level horny.“
„I’m not gonna leave you like that.“
And something in his tone tells you that Baekhyun has it all figured out.
As much as your wobbly legs permit it, you get into the tub more or less elegantly. You already want to apologize for mounting him that way, but Baekhyun squarely sits you down on his crotch with his hands on your waist. That his wrist and knuckle veins have gotten the word does not go unmissed by your tunnel vision. All those pulsing underarm serpentines… leading your gaze upwards, and more, and more. Up, up, until you cannot rip your gaze from his puffy little throat. Baekhyun lets out a content little hum and lifts his chin. You really get the full damn view.
„Sorry teeth, I’ll devirginize you. No more blood oranges,“ you babble to yourself, and you can tell your brain just switched off all inhibition. You never thought you’d be slurring your words about what types of emergency fleshlights you use, all in a bath tub with a merman. „About time I pop my cherry boy.“
„Exactly right,“ Baekhyun proudly huffs, and leans back. With his Adam’s apple bulging out his throat even more, you lose all trains of thought and just grab him by either side of his head. You sink your teeth in as far as the power in your jaw can drive them, and going by how his pulse is beating inside your ears, you drilled them in pretty damn hard. Oh fuck. Beginner’s mistake. A huge gush comes out to spritz against the back of your own throat, and you almost pass out from the incredibleness of the taste.
It’s too much at once. You’re hanging by a mere thread. All your body does is follow whatever its instinct dictates. Grabbing Baekhyun by his hair is all you can keep track of, shoving your teeth right up his throat again all dissipates in a blur because your entire mouth is dripping full with him. He’s moaning so loud right now, his neck vibrates along.
„Yes…!“
You don’t want to be a weakling. And, get yourself to swallow for the first time — but then. regret it right away. His blood melting down your esophagus is like a liquid marriage proposal on the Eiffel tower. You don’t know where the noise comes from, but the birds are singing. Once it’s down your stomach and pooling there, you’re already high as fuck. Grinding erraticly all over Baekhyun’s more than steel hard boner that parts upward through the scales of his crotch. He’s really giving you all the best things.
You bury your whole face in his neck. No more neatness. All you do is let your tongue loose and drag your mouth all over his face, and his chin, and his lips, and his jaw, and all of his neck. Every angle, every side, every nook and cranny until your mouth is bursting full with all of his sweet-tasting sweat and pinkish blood that has thinned out with the water dripping from his gills. If it wasn’t diluted, you’d probably forget your own name.
You melt your teeth into his pulsing skin. A vibrant image opens before your inner eye. You’re getting visions of the beach and you as seen through Baekhyun’s eyes. And then— Baekhyun from an outside perspective, swirling through the water the moment after he saw you walk at the quay for the first time. Singing so beautifully, your ears are ringing and you never want to hear anything else.
His blood is all over your lips and chest, your training print shirt. You admit you’re tempted not to ever wash that thing even if Taemin politely asks you to or Yukhei calls it crazy. You want it to be as sullied as a white shirt can possibly get. What must be your eleventh bite in a row gives you a particularly big shot right to the tongue. It’s so much, Baekhyun’s blood starts running out of your nose, only to get back onto your lips that suck up all that candy right away all over again.
Being all drenched in Baekhyun’s nicely bloodied wonder shampoo water and your own horny leaking shit at the same time, your pussy is double wet and way, way too ready to get stuffed up with all that merman dick. You never thought that he would be any larger than your thumb, but you’re mistaken.
„No wonder Yukhei has been keeping you outside the club so often.“
„You can have it as often as you want, eight times a day, I’ll manage to be there, don’t worry.“
It’s so stiff and glides into you so easily, you groan out loud and loose a whole portion of blood from all that open mouth. It sprinkles over Baekhyun’s little nose and lips, and makes his way down to his belly. The scent is turning your brain upside down. You find yourself hooked on his nose, sucking and licking it with your pussy reaching the meaty base of what’s all the way inside you now. All the precum he’s leaking into you is taking its time, but comes down to cream you up when he starts moving. Really smudgy thrusts from below, several big fat fillings from above that you can have your fun gargling on the back of your tongue. Baekhyun knows what makes you happy. You squeeze every bit your can get out of his throat and plunge your teeth inside of him far enough to feel his vocal chords vibrating during his moans. You don’t wanna damage those. So you decide to switch things around a little and slip off his cock. It’s grown a lot inside of you and peaks out the water still brimming. The whole tub gets a taste of soapy foam mixed with Baekhyuns semen and lord knows how much delicious red cherry juice that you’ve been milking out of him. Oh god, you feel like cumming. You turn Baekhyun underneath you so the back of his head comes to face you, and you bow down to violently bury and seesaw your teeth in his nape like a lion shaking a little prey animal. His little helpless moans are so melodic and out of this world, you do notice you forgot your own name. Well, he can tell you afterwards so, no problem. For now, you made him completely yours. You don’t miss how Baekhyun didn’t reach down to get himself a hand but has grown even harder.
Going by how much he’s been begging you to do your carnage on him, and you’re tempted to ask him, you know for a fact Baekhyun would probably fanboy like mad and ooze his cum all over the place if you broke his neck altogether, but you decide that’s probably way too edgy for now. And too much, hello. His body can heal anything in a matter of five minutes, doesn’t mean you have to challenge it with a clean snap during the first time. That’s a schtick for the later fucks, maybe a birthday. Just when you find that what you’re doing with his little nape all between your jaws is way too sick for a novice, a string of tiny „please, please, please!“ noises spurs you to sink in deeper and even work your tongue just like it’s a french kiss.
„Oh woah, ah! Do it, do it more!“ His pleasure screames and demands for roughing him up leave no second for a pause. At this point, you’re just digging in and he’s all the way close to going off like a bomb. Taemin doesn’t just have to clean the tiles alone, there’s gonna be sperm everywhere. Probably even as far as the door, and that one’s all opposite to the bath tub and four meters away.
Now that you’re so snugly penetrating with your fangs pierced in around his spine from either side, you notice how Baekhyun has successfully corrupted you into a sadistic freak. The more blood seeps into your mouth, the lewder your slurping gets, and the tub water has long gone from pink to very crimson like it’s the type of apples Taeyong loves to test his fangs on pretty much daily just for practice. You swallow again, and this time, a wave of Baekhyun’s sexual fantasies crashes down on you.
Looks like since you’re closer to his central nervous system, you’re tapping his entire stream of thoughts. However this works, it’s giving your pussy severe missing-cock-disease. Drinking and swallowing repeatedly makes the visions even more vivid. The images are so vast and animated, you can hardly keep up. His face, buried between your thighs. His tongue, dragged all over your legs. You riding his tail like it’s thighs. A big gush of semen between your breasts. You slobbering blood all over his cock and making good use of its protruding veins. Images of you cumming and screaming his name. Baekhyun screaming even louder because he can. Baekhyun sucking his fingers and you licking his wrists clean. Baekhyun cumming inside you and everything bursting right out because holy shit, that’s a lot.
You want his dick and properly connect to his lips for the first time now, so you ease your teeth out of his nape, much to his protesting. You cave in and give him another bite, and make it brutal so he begins squeaking and gasping that he’ll cum. Now that you have him there, you can venture a second try and turn him around. Because you’re afraid of blowing up the second you sit on his cock again, so you start with his lips.
Kissing Baekhyun is all you expected and even more than that. Even if you’re so saturated with his blood that your taste buds are on fire, you can still clearly taste how sweet he is. Everything about him is so delicious and he’s so cute. All that pleasant taste and the gentleness of his tongue has you riding up and down his cock in less than a minute. Busy like a New York high rise elevator. Gentleman he is, Baekhyun retorting with his own thrusts feels nothing short of whipped cream consistency fucked into you with a headspin-inducing mega girth. Where he mustered that one from, only Neptune knows.
Since the entire water is ripe with his blood, that can’t go without pumping some of it into you. You’ve never found yourself horny all over your period even if the scent does make you tingle, but now, somebody else’s blood squeezed into you? Your legs feel like doing somersaults. You’re probably asking for too much, but you hope your walls soak it all up, his pre-cum included. Hell, if all that mixture shoots up in your womb, you’d probably be on a permanent high for one week. Who would have thought. This giggly little merman has turned you mad and lawless.
It doesn’t take for very long that Baekhyun’s tongue has been wrecking a havoc of pleasure between your fangs and has started bleeding after deliberately giving himself a small little prick with them, you want to get bursting full with his cum now, you can’t wait any longer. You lost your breath so it takes a few seconds until you can verbalize it, but when you do, Baekhyun doesn’t take even half a minute to have you pussy bubbling with a particularly scented load of deliciously fertile semen.
It’s such a huge amount, you have to hold onto his upper arms. Baekhyun breathes like he’s curently swimming a marathon, and has his eyes closed to concentrate on giving you the best to the best. What makes you moan is just how wildly his cock is throbbing and pumping against your cervix, that girl has never seen an avalanche of white stuff like this, she’s so lucky she gets to see this up close. Baekhyun has sunken so deep into his orgasm, he’s starting to mumble some kinds of magic words. Which seem to be directed at keeping his dick hard and keeping the cum flowing just like that.
„Shit, I want that in my mouth,“ you promptly decide, and pull your all-loaded pussy off, causing leakage all over the water. You turn to prop his cock between your lips, and Baekhyun makes it no secret that he won’t hesitate sucking his creampie right out of you. So while you’re busy sliding your tongue up and down all that veiny shaft, Baekhyun glides his nose and chin between your slippery pussy lips. The stimulation of his tongue has you twitching and stuffing his cock even deeper until your mouth is nothing but filled except a few remaining spots.
His cum is all fizzy in your mouth, it’s the most addictive thing. You decide that all that vanilla ice cream needs a juicy strawberry sauce to top it off. You do exactly what Baekhyun’s steamy fantasies displayed to you. That you lock your horny fangs deep inside of Baekhyun’s cock and squeeze him out by the liter for sperm and cherry milk is already having your eye lids flutter because you’re that stoned. Not to mention that you will smell like candy to the lycans and certainly also Taeyong for at least a whole month.
You’re the farmer, he’s the maple tree, and Baekhyun’s blood the runny, sugary syrup. The mix with his semen tastes like you bite right into a large fresh lemon and melon popsicle. and swallowing comes easy once you got into the rhythm of his continuous little bursts. Your stomach is telling you oh babe, I adore you for this. It’s stuffing full a) with the one thing is needs and b) the other thing it loves. All while Baekhyun’s bloody tongue is having a party on your clit and you can’t help but heavily rock your pussy all slapping up against his face.
The friction is unbearable, it makes you sopping wet on top of already being shot up with a ton of cream. Which now faithfully drops right into Baekhyun’s awaiting mouth and his nostrils along the way. He just snorts it up, gathers it on his tongue, then swallows it down like it’s a mild cold. The noise is so disgusting, it’s so sexy. You didn’t know mermen were this hardcore. You bet your fangs Yukhei can’t do that.
Baekhyun keeps on slurping on your creampie like it’s a desert pudding, and puckers his brazen lips to suck your clit between giving it little kisses and licks. The point where you forgot not just your name but your hometown and birth day is already passed, with Baekhyun indulging your pussy like that, you even forgot about planet earth being a thing.  His petite „Aw pretty“ and „So tasty“ noises have you clenching up and wildy deepthroating whatever impossible length of his dick is still left.
It’s oozing out too much to deal with at this point, so you just let it flow into the bath water. Your mouth being so slobbery, Baekhyun’s cock pulsing in and out of it causes a wet, hollow noise. It’s strangely satisfying and dirty to hear, you just love it. The blood seeping into your mouth makes you spiral even deeper and resorting to drift off into a wonderworld again, blowing big pink cum bubbles while you’re dreaming of Baekhyun in a groom suit out of nowhere.
Swimming at the edge of a pool, he’s stroking your hair and admiring your skin that seems so completely without any veins. Cut to Baekhyun standing in the kitchen with an apron making pancakes, drizzled with what can’t possibly just normal strawberry sauce. He perfectly balances himself on his tail to stand upright, and you’re wearing a Christmas sweater signed by Christopher Lee and Bela Lugosi.
Image three, Baekhyun massaging your feet with his pretty hands while you watch Nosferatu Reloaded on television. He whispers sweet nothings but they mean everything to you. Image four, a big house with a nice water system inside, and on top of that, a really shapely coffin that smells so dusty and snugly by just looking at it, you’re enamored with no return. Oh my god, there’s a moth plague in that house, too, and the garden grows nightshade!
Swallowing the remaining semen, thick and marshmallow-y as it so savoringly is, you shift back to your senses. Shit, that was a ride. You have a hard time letting go of his cock, but he’s not sustaining it with a spell at this point. Rather, it closes back behind his scales. Probably regenerating, you sucked and performated the shit out of it. Preoccupied, Baekhyun is still busier than ever making your pussy his personal oozing face grave, he’s particularly enjoying the digging part with the tongue. You promise to unearth him once he’s zombiefied, can’t let the poor tiny merguy just drown in there.
To think that he could do all the things you saw makes you furiously thrust back and hear his face smack into you. All of the cum he pumped into you is slathered all over his mouth and makes it all the easier to get all the clit stimulation you want from his bottom lip in particular. That he catches a hang of it and moves right along doesn’t help with your arousal. Your entire lower body is so heated and bustling, any south-Texan bat cave is a joke compared to that.
You hardly catch a direct glimpse of what’s going on, but from the reflection in the tiles you can see that Baekhyun’s hair has changed its color to how it naturally grew according to Mark’s seemingly random chronicle recital on Monday. Baekhyun only ever does it when he’s really serious about something and vulnerable enough. You can tell be picked up the pace and makes sure not one lick will miss.
With that level of determination, Baekhyun is sure to earn your moans and shaky thighs after a mere minute or two. You think that because he’s part demon, his tongue is… a bit longer and pointier and stronger than the average merman’s. It’s simply how the genes tend to mix and your clit very well feels that. The way he’s driving in the tip of the tongue in rapid sequences that resemble Ten’s piano suites, you’re tipped over the edge hard enough to grab at his tail not to slip from the massive tremble that rocks you.
Your orgasm rolls your eyes back to places even ghouls could dream of, and the amount of pleasure is so strong that your hearing and vision sets out for a solid ten seconds. You just scream and moan and scream again, and Baekhyun’s face gets one massive cum shower all over again. He’s not shy to move his mouth and head around like a madman, so your cum ends up being stuck in his hair altogether. Through even more frantic sucking and kissing, he seeks to prolong your high for another fifteen seconds of blissed out grinding against his face. You drank so much blood, you
By now, your face must look so blown up with all that cum and Baekhyun marked up so relentlessly, even if his bite marks have closed by now, Kai must think you switched roles going by your scents.
„Really sorry for my big cock.“
„Your blood… does it cause random hallucinations or something of that sort, can you direct it in any way?“
„It causes prophetic visions in some cases, if you experience it clearly as an image it will come true. Did you see something?“
„Um. Lots of things. Let’s say I… liked what I saw.“
„Actually, don’t tell me. I like being surprised.“
„Doesn’t it take 50 years until the egg fertilizes?“
„47, 48 is usual. Mermen cum is really slow but it’ll get there.“
„Nice. Isn’t the firstborn always a girl?“
„Yep.“
„We’ll name her after the song that’s always on the human radio, what is it again. Janine?“
„Jolene I’m thinking. I think it was that kind of song.“
„Yeah, I like that. And in the meanwhile we have some time, do we.“
„We can just go on like that. What are you thinking?“
„Shit, shit. I’ll suck you dry, Baekhyun, you don’t even know.“
„My blood regenerates the fastest among all half-species. Shouldn’t be a problem.“
„And what will we do about Yukhei’s mating drive?“
„Don’t worry. He’ll smell it.“
You pull the bathtub plug with a heavy heart and begin washing Baekhyun down. The blood doesn’t seem to stick to him very easily, which is as unsurprising as you not getting it off your own body. Even with his whatever pricey merguy body scrub thingy thing that’s normally used to keep gills and scales in shape. Resorting to staying bloodied for the day is nothing you’ll particularly hate, though.
Ten minutes later, you find a very unsettled Yukhei standing at the window of your designated club office, not able to meet your eyes for more than a second. In that expensive black tux, and you… in your bathing robe with blood all over your hair, and just a pair of Baekhyun’s sparkling light blue and silver ‚i ♡ dolphins‘ socks he borrowed you. He can’t wear them anyway, but they were so cute that he ordered them online.
Very much naked underneath all that, and water running down your legs in drops, alongside— something that does not feel like water. You already plan to hop right back into the shower and do the rest of the cleaning. The sex is great, but vampire hygiene is a pain in the ass sometimes. The scent must be killing him. You don’t even have to sit down for the word spill to start.
„Y/N.“
„I told you I don’t like you sneaking in here.“
„After working out. And, you know my senses are always heightened after this…“
„What is it now, hellboy. Just cut to the chase.“
„Please let me talk for a minute. I came walking by in the northern corridor,“ he starts out low once again. „You talked about your wings sprouting and you were being open with him. So—“
„You listened to us!“
He keeps his lips tight, not granting any reply.
„Piece of shit, you! You’re an all-round asshole.“
The water contained in a silver jug on the office table goes right over Yukhei’s head. He doesn’t react, lets you poor it all over him stoically. You hope it’s particularly cold. Since the water is silver-infused, it stings him, but he takes it.
„I can’t switch my nose and ears off, even at such a distance. It… it just reeks, alright. I just heard what was going on without intending. The talk, the— I didn’t know what it would develop into.“
„From start to finish. Am I right?,“ you dig your nails into your palms. „And you didn’t just walk off like you fucking should. So stop blaming your ears or what topics we started out with or whatever! You talk about mating behind my back, you eavesdrop, you invade my office just like this. Do you think that’s gonna make me marry you on the spot?“
All the magical afterglow — ruined. You cast the jug into a random corner and prop down at your desk. Yukhei wipes the wet bangs out of his face and turns from the window to face you now.
„I’ll stop with all this. Okay. I don’t want to treat you like a crusade machine against my dad or just to satisfy me. I’m sorry if I’m like you said. I’m just a stupid voyeur. I really didn’t want to.“
Yeah. Of course.
„If I spied on you? You’d be kicking me out in a hearbeat,“ you cross your arms and leave them in deadlock. „And what, you’ll stop what?“
„Training you for your position and fighting dad’s army.“
„Eh.“
„I know very well that’s Kai’s job and mine.“
„No shit, Yukhei.“
„And that we should defend more and not just plan the attack. You don’t enjoy the training as much as the normal recruit. You said you’d rather be talking with Baekhyun and that you chose him as a mate.“
„You’ll change your program?“
„A lycan will respect a no. We’re determined but not a creep. And my nose works perfectly fine.“
„What?“
„I’ll be realistic, I don’t think I could satisfy you like him.“
Now that sounds very different from all he’s ever said. You turn your chair toward him and stare Yukhei down.
„I’m listening.“
„I’m not stupid, okay.“
„Inaccurate, but go on.“
„You’d… bite me once and either I bleed out if I control myself or go wolf when I don’t. That’s lose-lose.“
„So you got that all of a sudden,“ you murmur. Yukhei just keeps on talking. It’s almost a prepared monologue.
„I’m a wolf, okay. I only get it when I smell it.“
„That’s some weird shit but fair enough, Mark says that too.“
„You smell like you had almost nine liters in one go. The whole fucking mansion feels like a butchery just opened. How many times did you bite him, fifty, sixty?“
„As if I’m counting. Do you count down when you drink water? You have it easy, you’re normal when you’re not in the moonlight. I’m vampire all the time.“
„What I try to say is. I don’t boast that much regenerating ability even if I wish I had.“
„And you realize that only now.“
„I came here to be honest. I gravely underestimated Baekhyun. You bit his nape and he really enjoyed it.“
„Well thanks for the information. About my private business…“
Yukhei’s senses must be really sharp to discern all of this. He might have stood in the bathroom in person. And if he knows it, Kai does tenfold if he was anywhere near the house. His senses are time-tested and four times as trained.
„I know that doing a bite like that is a big deal in half-breed… couples.“
„You’d find that inacceptable for me to do on you, wouldn’t you.“
Silence again. You tap your feet. Yukhei ends up nodding.
„To the extrent of how you reacted when I grabbed you by the hair. We’re not much different. Trying to make someone ours. Call me possessive but you’re also territorial. You didn’t just bite his neck tonight.“
„You understand why I said we’re not compatible. then.“
Yukhei remains silent for a while after that.
„The tension between our kinds has a reason.“
„No way. Never thought of that. Totally groundbreaking news.“
„We’d probably kill each other when we fuck. Simply because of what we naturally do. We’re suited for other species. Baekhyun matches you very well with his abilities. I admit that even if it hurts my pride.“
„One man’s trash another man’s pleasure.“
„You’re not trash. You know you’re my MVP here. And Baekhyun is going to please you well himself. He’s not as selfish as I am. He’s 290 years old, he’s very experienced.“
„Your instincts are really dying for a mate, don’t they.“
„Just like you deflate to a literal zombie when you’re not drinking, I can’t go without my pack hierarchy being complete. You go stupid when you sense blood, I go stupid when my senses aren’t challenged and I have to suppress my form. It’s that easy.“
„Now tell me something I don’t know.“
You comb your fingers through your hair. It’s kind of comforting right now. Yukhei comes to sit at your desk now himself, opposite to you.
„I should have left you to your own devices when you picked your spot at the fire place already.“
„What do you mean?“
„We left you seven empty places, right.“
„So that was not a coincidence.“
„We spiked each cup with a blood probe of each member. Enough to emenate a scent, but small enough not to have you figure out which cup belongs to whom. Especially not in a room with so many people was it possible to tell that apart so it worked.“
And of course they put up flowers to further confuse you. It was all planned.
„Did you… you…“
„It was a test. I made it so that if was covert enough and fair to everyone.“
„Fair? What the hell did you do with me!“
„Find out whose blood you like the very most. It was my idea. I wanted to see if I have a chance with you or not.“
„That’s insidious.“
„You picked Baekhyun’s probe right away. And you even drank a second cup. That should’ve answered my question by that point.“
That’s why the blood in the cup was so strangely shimmery. You knew that was familiar when you slept with Baekhyun, but couldn’t connect the dots entirely because there was so much soap in the water.
„And you still kept on talking about mating with me?“
„I didn’t know about your heritage before you came to us.“
„So?“
„That gave me a second chance that I hoped you would reconsider. Because it’s tradition tha—“
You smack Yukhei right across the face with your right backhand.
„Never say that word again.“
„And you said you’re here to tell the truth anyway. It’s a shallow excuse to get with me.“
„I’m not denying that, Y/N.“
„It’s been clear to you who I like since our first words. You’re acting like you can bend me to your wishes. You tested me and knew I wasn’t into you. Why?“
„It’s like when you couldn’t take your eyes off your cup. We’re not far apart with our instincts.
„I never said that’s a lie, Yukhei.“
„You can’t expect me not to get the hots if you’re lying there on the table without your top on. And I already controlled myself. I did my best, alright.“
This man is infuriating. You wish you had more silver water to splash him with.
„Taemin was right, Taeyong should’ve done the examination. Touching me fucked with your virgin head. You’re just hunting some one-sided dream looking for some omega girl that fits into your ideology thing.“
„Well you’re right.“
„Unfortunate.“
„But at the same time at least acknowledge that I realized we wouldn’t fit together. I changed my mind about that prospect okay, I’m trying.“
„That you’d make the worst blood bank ever is already clear.“
„I really wouldn’t.“
„Just know that the next time you’re trying to own me or do your wolf stalking shit. Or try to mess with Baekhyun. I’ll be skinning your hairy back with Taeyong’s 17th-century silver dagger and use you as a mud boots doormat.“
„I’ll control my senses as good as I can.“
„Leave away the last part of the sentence.“
„I’ll control my senses.“
„Ma’am.“
„I’ll control my senses, Ma’am.“
„You’re one desperate little shit. Club president and you need to be trained like a rowdy dog. How old are you again?“
„Last time I checked, 21.“
„Not surprised Kai still calls you a puppy and Ten thinks you’re a giant baby.“
„I say, found your own club if you can’t handle it.“
„That would put it back to square one. The only problem is you being horny for the wrong person, the rest are only consequences.“
„As if I can control what my nose tells me. And you know that the very best.“
„You’re still mad your own test backfired,“ you remember the cups put up in the fireplace room.
„Is it wrong wishing you would’ve chosen my blood?“
„Yes, after I clearly made my pick.“
„Then that’s that.“
„That’s that.“
„So what are we gonna do?“
„You cut your wolfy shit, that’s all. It’s creepy. And don’t annoy Taeyong either. You got me? Just stay in your own lane.“
„If I can.“
„Are you the president or are you not?“
„Fair enough.“
Taeyong rings a bell, and you gather for some tea under the backyard Wisteria. Shrimps are served, and Taeyong even bothered to prepare a minestrone that’s wonderfully dark red. Lucas savagely chews on raw chicken wings, Ten relaxes in a hammock, Mark writes, Taemin knits, and Baekhyun plays in the nearby pool, watching and listening and chatting, upbeat as always.
Kai arrives the very last in his post-jog showering robe, but greets you the very loudest in front of everyone.
„Hey, hey! I heard you waterboarded yourself to get some soapy red juice!“
Some confusion at his word choice, some giggles.
„So that’s been making the roun—“
„Amazing! That’s my girl,“ Kai burst out and pats you on the back so passionately, it feels like a freight train hits you.
„O—okay?“
„That greed is all I ever wanted to bring out in training! Where was that determination when we peeled garlic? I tried every method in the book to get you to that point!“
Awkward silence among the members. Then, some shrugs. Mark seems to be the only one who doesn’t get it. Figures, half-goblins don’t have hyper-developed senses. Thank God, his innocent soul. The club chronicles would be filled with details of you doing all sorts of things in a bath tub because Mark never leaves out anything unless he’s currently dropping a pen out of nervousness. Which doesn’t happen anymore.
„Kai, um… I still don’t think you understand what really motivates a vampire,“ Taeyong scratches his head, with you well-aware that he can smell merman blood across the entire house without even trying himself.
„So, what is it, then?“ Kai puffs himself up, arms crossed. „I’m the fucking trainer of how many species again? I should know best!“
It doesn’t take two seconds for a heated discussion to break out. The Venerable Pyramid of Essential Vampire Needs — which author defined it the most accurately? Which peer-reviewed vampire journals are trustworthy? Which interviewed populace is the most reflective of all vampirekind? Serbia, Romania, Turkey, Russia, Greece, overseas?
Everybody wants to weigh in: Taeyong and Mark at the forefront, with Kai and Lucas saying the exact opposite of what they expertly claim just because. Ten starts trolling them with made-up facts („a vampire’s #1 need is premium cellar dust!“), Taemin unsuccessfully tries to calm everybody down with a theory that considers all perspectives, and the tea gets colder and colder.
In the meantime, you squat down at the pool and muse over Baekhyun’s hair in the wind. You twirl it and tell him he’s gorgeous. He whispers just how good you smell. Why debate about essential vampire needs when it’s all right before your eyes.
Thinking about it. It was all about which relationship was mutual. That’s what the decision had been all about, and yes, it had been crystal clear from the very start. Lucas desperately wanted you, but it was one-sided. Mark was flustered by you, but didn’t make a move, nor did you have feelings for him. Taeyong you loved, but his age and mentor status were incompatible with turning it into a relationship. You understood him, but it was motivated by an admiration — there was a pedestal, which again made it one-sided. Ten was a mystery, it wasn’t clear on either part, and leaving each other guessing was no good sign instead of going about your ways. Kai was a compelling man, but had his piece of cake and aspired to different things. Baekhyun — he loves you and you love him.
A powerful engine revvs in the nearby garage, then, the motor stops. Onto the Wisteria jogs Ten with a huge bag of groceries.
„Hello, hello!“
Everybody greets him and picks their favorite snack from his bag. He really thought of everything. Yukhei and Jongin get a huge pile of meat from the car trunk’s cooling box. As a crowning finale, Ten presents you with the latest newpaper. The front page splayed out on the Wisteria’s main table causes everyone to steer and gasp.
SHOCKING!
SATAN’S HEAVENLY RETURN
Ruling hell too stressful after all?
„Rumor has it the King finally got bored of chatting with God and kicked out Satan from the 9th circle without much further ado.“
„No way!“ you toss and turn the newspaper. Five whopping pages are filled with cover story details.
„So dear horned guy went back to where he came from,“ Ten shrugs, then points at the snapshots all over the newspaper. „I mean look at it. This is all just a big ole jealousy drama.“
Who knows God talked some sense into Lucifer.
„I know that dad was getting envious about the King associating with the arch angels,“ Yukhei says. You start to get why. Satan had the privileges of being an archangel for who knows how long until he reached puberty and rebelled or whatever.
„Doesn’t that mean dad has the throne back now?“ you ask.
„Yup,“ Ten turns to page three, where @king_beli’s instagram feed is filled with selfies of the 9th circle, posing with Sisyphus, and throwing peace signs in a sulphurous-looking throne hall. 666,000 likes after just 6 hours. If that’s not a good sign.
You keep on debating how exactly Satan got kicked out so effortlessly until Taeyong rolls in a little swirly metal wagon after the tea is finished. On top of it: An almost ancient relic that Alexander Graham Bell probably built himself.
„Sir, the Hell Telephone might be a good idea right now.“
„Your turn Y/N,“ Yukhei declines, ushering Taeyong to bring the wagon to your side of the table. You dial and wait roughly half a minute.
„Sorry, I was partying,“ a voice creaks through the old speaker. „How can I help? Isn’t this Club Daemon speaking? Is it who I think it is?“
„Hey dad.“
„It is!“
„Hello. You’ve heard about me, then.“
„Yup yup! That you’re Yukhei’s personal dog trainer is what Kai wrote me on Whatsapp! Did you really pour silver water on him? That’s funny as hell!“
„Oh God.“
„I say that a lot these days as well, man. Sorry, we have some music blasting here by the way!“
„Hey dad, what actually happened with God and Satan?“
„Ah, long ass story. Satan chickened out recently, hell is one hell of a job you know. New job opportunity for me. But you gotta take it easy and have fun.“
„I can tell.“
A spitfire verse of what sounds like Megan Thee Stallion is currently pumping through the telephone. Ten grooves right along in his hammock, smiling way too ominously. You can tell he knows every bar by heart. He’s been listening to the human radio way too much during his errants.
„I’m only stressed because the furniture is terrible.“
„The what?“
„In the years of my absence, horned geezer got a little too creative with the design, you know. I’m more of a romantic.“
„So… you just moved in there just because.“
„You could say that, yeah!“
Confused shrugging among the club members. Belial keeps on babbling and blasting something else at the other end of the line. It must be K-Pop or something like that.
„Talk about romance, I hear you have a mate?“
„Yeah dad, it’s Baekhyun.“
„Oh him? I’ve heard of that guy! The merman!“
„He’s really sweet.“
„Make many cute demon babies alright. That would be so adorable. I’m all ready to cuddle wuddle them. I actually came up with baby name suggestions.“
„Dad!“
„You know, 80 years ago. I met your mom…“
„Dad, I don’t wanna hear your love stories. Rather tell me what happened to mom. What did Satan do?“
„Listen here. That was a stupid rumor Azazel was spreading because he’s a gossip man!“ Belial rages at the other end of the line. „Your mom was 8906, alright. She died of diabetes. You got adopted by humans she found trustworthy and planned to be your caretakers.“
„That was all planned?!“
„You were… a bit too young for hell back then. She wanted to leave you the choice later on in life whether you want to be in a clan or come here, or neither of that. I know being a half-breed isn’t easy. And you should get into all these worlds by your own devices. I learned about all of this only much later you see. I’ve been hanging out in the clouds for some time. It’s pretty chill there. But now I’m happy to hear from you.“
„Yeah.“
„If you got anything you need paid? Rent, marriage, car, diapers? Just ask me when needed.“
„I dunno…“
Looks like your dad is a rather forward thinker indeed. Well, least he thought it through.
„If you need it spontaneously and I’m not available, just force Yukhei to give you some pocket money.“
„I don’t have to force him. He already does that without me even asking.“
„That’s what I call a great president!“
„He literally thinks my bank account is free real estate where he can dump anything. I can’t even manage all that,“ you roll your eyes, with Yukhei grinning his most satisfied smile at the end of the table.
On the more unsatisfied end, Kai is about to jump up and sock him in the chest. You know damn well his salary hasn’t been increasing since Yukhei discovered his unsolicited Sugar Daddy hobby. You can buy Baekhyun some extra cotton candy now, but you’ll have to figure out a way to transfer some pocket money to Kai yourself. Now really, he’s been training the shit out of you.
„Even better! Cheers to him. He’s too straight for his own good sometimes though. Anyways. You can drop by as soon as we cleaned up here. We’ll open the circles of hell completely next month.“
„Okay, that’s good news!“
„Once you get pregnant, make sure you two find a flaming cave apartment on the east side! You really wanna raise your kids here. Hellraiser, get it?“
„The east side is too hot for Baekhyun. His tub water would just evaporate, man.“
„Oh! Then the west side. A nice penthouse with panoramic views on a volcano. You’ll get a baking Pompeii face mask every time you’re stepping out! There’s so much ash raining down, your kid can do snow angels on every pavement. Don’t worry, I’ll pay for everything.“
In the meantime, the party guests are blasting Caramelldansen in the background and louds clapping numbs your ears.
„Dad…. you realize you have a lot of clown energy, right? Do you even hear me?“
„Talk about clowns, actually,“ the king carries on completely unbothered. „Mammon really wants to see Kai too, I think he’s missing him. He’s calmed down a little after the Corona crisis messed with his bank account.“
Commotion at the table. Kai almost chokes on his cold tea.
„That’s unexpected… I thought he’d never do that.“
„Yeah aw, I know,“ your father says. „Satan has spread a lot of fake news while he was here, you see.“
„We’re glad to be welcome then? That sounds like a good idea to meet up some time. Maybe for a day or two.“
„Strike! I convinced you!“
„Yeah, you did…“
„Few of you saw hell back in the day, right?“
„Yukhei, Kai, I dunno who else, Ten I’m guessing.“
Nods from the hammock. Wouldn’t be strange if Ten was a regular hell driver.
„Oh Ten! Greet Ten from me. His instagram is what I aspire to. Ten is the coolest. Even the ghouls I know don’t have that kind of fashion sense.“
„Will do.“
„And— about aspirations. We’ll be talking about your heir thing when the time is right you see, I know you want to know about all of this.“
You perk up, as do the club members.
„It’s a thing for the future. I’m not hellbent or anything,“ you say, tongue in cheek.
„Hah! You’re funny. I see we’re agreeing on this. You’re very busy with Baekhyun, right. Love is priority. Hell later. This place is a lot to handle anyway.“
„…exactly.“
„I know my daughter and I didn’t even meet her yet!“
Taeyong does a little aw noise in the background and even Yukhei has to smile.
„I’ll probably tell the same stories you do and blast the same music in a couple years, I can see it coming.“
„And that’s when you’re ready for the throne. Remember—“
„Gotta keep it easy and make it fun.“
„You got it. Until then, live a tense life man, that’s also needed.“
„Dad, what the hell!“
„I actually mean it. Leave it to your old man to get this 9th circle popping in the meantime.“
You get the image of your father watching youtube music videos all day and trying to keep up with the latest slang words on twitter.
„Okay, crazy old man.“
„At your service!“
It almost makes you laugh how the old generation of full-breed demons is completely gone wild and the youngsters are the opposite. Well, except the half-lycans, but they’re always living on the edge anyway.
„Can I speak to Mister Lee as well? Is he around?“
„Mark or Taeyong or Taemin? We have a lot of Lees.“
„Um, the butler guy.“
„Taeyong, here it goes. See you dad!“
You pass the hellephone, Taeyong poises himself.
„Hey there, young man!“
„Not that young. 552, Sire.“
„Hilarious, you can’t even get a Styx boat license around here at that age. Anyway. Got some news for you.“
„Yes, Mister?“
„Mammon recently splurged on the latest robo fancy schmancy tech stuff from Japan for no reason. I guessed you would want to try one on.“
„Pardon— Try on what?“
„Oh, a prosthetic exo-skeleton I mean. I heard you had beef with the loopy guy. Just drop by whenever.“
„A prosthetic arm aid?“
„Well yes!“
„That’s… that’s very kind of you.“
„No problem! Is the your Professor X available to speak to as well?“
„Of course, Sire, one moment,“ Taeyong composes himself, but you can tell he’s still processing it.
Everybody is on the edge of their seat.
„Hi down there,“ Lucas takes the speaker and leans back in his seat very laxly. Compared to how defeated he looked in your office, his posture is much more unwound now.
„Hi up there, Lucas what’s good?“
„Doing mighty fine these days. You gave us a good headline.“
„Oh, you’re very welcome Mister President. There’s headlines about me?“
The King sounds genuinely surprised.
„Yeah. You’ll have to add me in Kai’s Whatsapp group or give me your number. I’ll update you on these types of things.“
„Note down 1666 2666 3666, and I have some updates for you as well.“
Mark and Taeyong instantly start scribbling the number into their vest notebooks, meanwhile Lucas swirls the tea in his cup around.
„Shoot.“
He begins drinking it.
„Mister Cerberus’ daughter graduated today. Canine sciences. Lovely girl, calls herself Circe, you know, like the evil witch. Very intelligent person. She’s looking for a job and a mate in the upper world. I told her about the Club’s situation and you know, gossipped a little. She says she’s interested in you.“
Lucas spits out the tea.
„Sorry, what?“
„Hey, do you really think you’re not a man in demand? Anybody who studies werewolves knows about you. And you have free membership spots, or is that information outdated?“
„I-Is she a half-breed?“
„Of course, do you think Mister Cerberus would date another demon? That would make no sense! Hell, wouldn’t that be beastitality or something? Is it that what you call it?“
„Uh… Bestiality I thought, Sir.“
„Anyways. I haven’t seen Cerberus with anyone else but werewolves.“
„Werewolves are the closest genetically to hell hounds, Mister President,“ Mark leans in confidentially to brief Yukhei. „It’s good conduct for them to date.“
„Oh, uh, I get it.“
„So, do you want to meet her or not?“
„We, we have free spots all the way!“
„Great then, I’ll send her up the staircase now. She’ll be there in a minute or so.“
„The stai—!”
Tumblr media
© 2017-2021 submissive-bangtan. all rights reserved. no reposts allowed.
272 notes · View notes