#but finn didn’t even get any of that like it’s not fair to me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

heyidkyay · 1 month

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And I'm petrified of being alone, now |

Part Twenty-Three

Matty Healy x reader

Summary: She’s just trying to get by, really. What with being a single parent to her four year old son whilst simultaneously trying to kick start a successful career as a radio presenter. She’s got everything she’s ever wanted though, friends close by, a mum who’s merely a phone call away, and of course her baby boy. What else is there to wish for? But then, it’s not long before her relatively normal life gets upended and turned on its head, and she’s suddenly forced to deal with situations she’s never even thought to imagine.

What happens when one mention of a certain controversial singer on her show sends a flood of unexpected challenges her way?

Authors Note: Another update this week?? I'm as shocked as anyone else, but hopefully this one will make up a little for the last! It's longer and a little less, um, idk, I can't say emotional?? because that would be a lie:/ Still, there are some developments! Also, it'll make sense a lot later but the 2nd image and the use of a Ride song are used in this one!

Hope you enjoy! Also thank you for all the love on this current series, it means a whole lot and keeps me writing xx

Warnings: similar to that of the last post! so pls look back there if you'd like to know!:)

> Last update: look back here if you'd like!

Masterlist

“I said no.”

Stressed was a feeling beyond words at this point. The past couple of days all I’d had was press hounding at me, calling and texting, emailing at all hours of the fucking day. They wouldn’t let up, even after I’d stayed silent. Adi reckoned it was mostly down to Teddy’s involvement in the whole thing. I didn’t want to think much more about it, although I knew she wasn’t wrong.

“Give me a reason at least?"

I shot a scathing glare over my shoulder before turning back to the filing system I’d taken to reorganising. It was my first morning back at the studio since... yeah, well Finn had Teddy- another factor to my current load of stress- whilst Adi was off doing something or other. I hadn’t asked, fearful of putting more of a strain on her current friendship- relationship??- with Ross, so instead I’d just chosen to tidy and rearrange the entire setup we had going on here. Because that was perfectly normal. And not a fucking way to evade talking or thinking about the mess that was my life. Okay?

“I don’t need a fucking reason, I just don’t want to.” I retorted, hissing slightly when I suddenly cut my thumb on the edge of a document. I withdrew my hand quickly and raised it towards my mouth, letting my eyes slip close for a moment when I heard a footfall step closer.

“Let me see.” Jamie sighed, probably thinking I’d done something worse to my hand than just a papercut. To be fair, the cabinet was old. One of them filing types from the ninety’s that we’d gotten for a score down at some boot sale, so I wouldn't be surprised if one of us did eventually end up losing an arm.

I shook my head and pushed the cabinet drawer closed, “It’s fine, just a papercut.”

Jamie huffed an amused chuckle before settling down on the edge of the desk nearby. It was Adi’s, you could tell from the sheer amount of shit she had accumulating it.

“One thing after another with you.”

My head tilted towards him with a deadened expression, “Ha ha.”

The older man raised his hands up in a mocking surrender, showing he hadn’t meant any real harm. “Too soon?”

I kicked at the toe of the leather boots he wore in retort as I moved towards the kitchenette, aware that he was just trying to lighten my horrendous mood but not really in the right mind for it.

“You want a brew?” I asked, not bothering to give him an honest reply to that question of his. Too soon? Yes, that was all too fucking true.

“Have a coffee if there’s one going.”

I dipped my head in a slight nod, filling the kettle and setting it to boil before snagging the coffee often reserved for guests on the show from a shelf nearby.

Jamie moved to better face me on Adi’s desk as I did so, wearing that same expression he’d turned up in, all concerned and weary. It bothered me a bit, seeing as though it was all I had garnered since the press had had their field day with my life, but I could also understand why. They all just seemed to feel for the idiot stupid enough to fall into another of Matty Healy’s traps.

“Stop.”

“Stop what?” He wondered around a light chortle at my demand, hands falling to rest between his thighs.

I gestured towards his face whilst I poured a splash of milk into my mug, “Looking at me like that, like I’m gonna break or something.”

With a sigh, he pressed his lips together. “You know it’s not like that.” I rolled my eyes in return but he just bounded on, “You know it’s not, I just care is all.”

I forced out a breathless chuckle, “That why you’re here trying to get me to hear him out then?”

To be fair to him, Jamie had come right out with it when he’d first popped by, having messaged me asking after my whereabouts earlier this morning. I’d told him, having spoken to him quite a bit over the last couple days, and then found him on the doorstep.

Jamie had been good with everything. He’d let me vent, rally against one of his friends and clients, question his own motives- and hadn’t even complained one bit. But now he was here asking me to give Matty a chance, a lot like he’d done that first time around in that small cafe all those months ago.

“I know you’re angry, you have every right to be.”

“Of course I’m fucking angry!” I immediately shot back at him, the rattle of the teaspoon ringing out as I dropped it into a mug, “I wouldn’t care if it had just been me he’d gone and fucked over! But he brought Teddy into this shit, Jamie. My son! So tell me, how am I supposed to hear him out after he’s done something like that and then lied about it? For weeks, mind you.”

Jamie looked back at me, wearing that ‘this meant business’ mug of his. I slumped at the sight, pressing my knee against one of the lower cabinets to continue stirring the drinks. I didn’t care, I didn’t care, I didn’t care.

“There’s a lot you don’t know, Mouse.”

My eyes slipped closed at his words and I took a second to just breathe. Because I wasn’t angry, not really. I was hurt and humiliated, and just so fucking sad. Fed up with it all, if I was being honest. Enough so that I knew that Jamie was being truthful here- and not just because it was a fact that I hadn’t spoken to Matty since things had fallen apart, but also because I hadn’t had the heart to ask Teddy about things yet. Or if ever.

The kid was four. Four, and asking after a man every night before he fell asleep and then as soon as he opened his eyes the next morning.

He knew something was up, he was smart like that. But what was I meant to do- to say? When I was just as confused as he was.

I’d ended up leaving him with Finn today, having had no other choice in the situation because the nursery was closed for an inset day, or some shite like that, and it seemed I had no other friends than the few around me.

Could quite literally count the lot of them on one hand.

But still, Finn and I’s relationship had still been rather rocky after that whole incident with him and Matty, and hadn’t improved since. In fact, he’d been a little unbearable about everything, always one to toot his own horn whenever he was right about something. But it was always slyly and I couldn’t help but feel as though it was a constant dig, like even when he wasn’t commenting on it he was still thinking it whenever he looked at me.

Which felt so horrible to think, let alone say out loud. He was my best friend. So I’d kept my mouth shut and just dealt with it, like I did everything else in life.

“He’s messed up about it.” Jamie then spoke, his voice having startled me a tad, breaking me out of my musings. He was watching me again, only when he did it, it didn’t feel as condescending as everyone else's. Like he understood my position. And I guessed that he probably sort of did.

“I bet.” I scoffed quietly, an airy titter escaping through my nose, and then I turned to toss my teabag away.

“It’s true.” Jamie shrugged, then nodded in thanks when I pushed a coffee his way. “He’s been ‘round Ross’s ever since shit hit the fan, hasn’t left the flat. Driving the lot of us mad, but he’s torn up, Mouse.”

Tongue in cheek, I wrapped my hands around my cup and propped my hip up against the counter, staring into the still swirling liquid. “Serves him right, I guess.” I replied with a soft shrug of my own, though we both knew I didn’t quite mean it.

Jamie looked over towards one of the windows to the right, most of them were either way too long or too tiny for the space, an odd build, but this particular one gave way to the skyline lying over the remainder of the city. I often wondered what the lower levels might look out at, thinking it was probably the majority of the surrounding buildings, and couldn’t help but feel a little thankful that we’d managed to snag this unit.

When he glanced back over at me, I took a sip and let him speak.

“A lot went on, that much I know, and it’s your choice how you deal with it. But, I saw the two of you. I saw him change. Which is stupid to say, I know, but it doesn’t stop it from being true. He was different with you, he actually tried in other aspects of his life and not just with the band and the music. He looked genuinely happy.” He smiled softly at the eye roll I gave, but it didn’t appear to deter him. “Don’t get me wrong, I know you didn’t fucking cure him. Don’t work like that, does it? But you helped. You and Teddy both.”

I looked away then, back towards the window, unable to really help it, and instead allowed my eyes to trail over the clouds which powdered the dusty blue sky.

“It was different. Things were different, and I know that there was love there. There couldn’t not have been. The way he looked at you…” Jamie shook his head ever so slightly as he breathed out, unaware of just how deeply his words had cut. But then he peered over at me and I found myself already looking back, air caught somewhere in the swell of my lungs.

“Don’t.” I choked out, the grip on my mug having tightened tenfold. “Just,” I shook my head.

Jamie put his coffee down on the desk and moved to stand, hands raised to convey he wasn't a threat. “I’m not saying this to hurt you more, love. Just telling you how I saw it.”

I licked at my lower lip, casting my eyes downwards. Our silence stretched and all could be heard was the odd car horn and chirp from beyond the walls of the studio, until-

“Anyone here?”

I blinked back the tears which had started to well in my eyes and sniffed, head shooting up just in time to spot a familiar giant ducking their head under the beam of the doorway, limbs following right after.

George entered but then stopped short when he spotted his manager stood by me, and I laughed to myself at the way the pair of them seemed to eye one another, before stepping in, “Didn’t hear you ring the buzzer.”

Kind eyes darted over to find my soft smile then, welcoming him in, and so George finally moved in closer, laying the jacket he wore to rest over one of the armchairs.

“Yeah, someone was just leaving and let me in.” He answered my unasked question, shrugging as he added, “Dunno whether they recognised me or if they just let anyone up.”

“Probably the second,” Jamie piped up, seemingly having broken himself from his previous bout of surprise, “This lot ‘round here don’t give much of a shit about crap like that.”

I rolled my eyes, but was glad to have a reason to smile slightly. “Or they spotted the BFG making his way over and wanted to avoid pissing him off.”

Jamie cackled whilst George just shot me a narrow-eyed look, “Hilarious. That pot just boiled?” He asked me as he wandered over. I nodded in turn and moved to grab him a cup, only faltering when he lowered my hand with his own and shook his head. “I got it.”

I dipped my head slightly, blinking before taking a step back to let him work. He made a quick go of it, rummaging around the cupboards briefly to find what he needed and only asking for the spoon I still held for some odd reason when he was near done.

Jamie appeared to have been watching him too, a calculating glaze to his eyes, and he chose that next moment to speak up, “How you been anyway, George? Not seen much of you lately.”

Something unspoken passed between them when George glanced over at him, but I couldn’t tell what.

“Good, busy.” Was what the taller decided on, throwing Jamie a quick smile when he crossed to toss his own teabag in the bin before settling on the counter to the left of me. “You?”

It almost sounded sarcastic, not how he said it but simply because he’d asked it at all, knowing everything that had recently occurred. It must have been a right nightmare for Jamie these last few days, what with him being the band’s main man.

Jamie just laughed though, goodnaturedly, though it was apparent that he was still trying to suss out what was going on, what with George’s sudden appearance. Seeing as I’d never once mentioned him to Jamie.

See, things with George had all started after that studio session Teddy had attended, followed by my wishing him a happy birthday just before Matty had gone and done what he did best. Wrecked it all.

Teddy had become all too smitten with the drummer since he’d first been introduced to the band and their many songs and music videos. He enjoyed the guitar he’d been gifted an awful lot, often playing with it and practising, but each time any sort of song played on the tele or the radio, or even in the car, it wasn’t hard to note the way Teddy instantly mimicked George’s swift movements, pretending to drum along to whatever beat heard.

George had messaged me on Instagram later that same day, seeing as how apparently Teddy’s appearance at the studio had stuck with him, and asked after him a little. It seemed strange worded like that, but George reckoned that Teds had a real streak of a musicality about him, even as young as he was, and wanted to see if Teddy would be up for learning some more.

Which had been a Godsend, honestly, what with how the next couple of days had gone down. I’d given him my number via dm just before the storm had started and then the afternoon that had followed the plethora of articles he’d called.

He’d asked how I was at first, almost consoling me in that easy way of his, so full of little words, which had been all too refreshing in truth.

I’d had texts and calls off of practically everyone I knew, even Ronan, the utter prick. And none had managed to soothe me quite like George’s had, seeing as the man had been there too. Not quite in my position, sure, but near enough. He’d even let a little of it slip when he’d popped on over that same day, bringing a bag of takeaway and a roll up drum mat as a gift for Teddy, who had been cooped up with me on the sofa for most of the afternoon.

The two of them had bonded over it rather quickly, Teddy having been caught off guard by George’s sincerity almost as much as I had been. But then I'd found myself getting to know the drummer too and very much appreciating the unnecessary gesture he’d made for me, even with the pair of us not knowing one another as well as we could have.

I had no idea what was going on between him and Matty, I hadn’t had the balls to ask, but he’d mentioned he hadn’t heard much of anything from him since the night of his party, as well as the fact that his girlfriend, Charli, had been just as annoyed with everything that had gone down.

I knew he’d be stopping by at some point today, we’d made plans to get lunch once he’d heard I was back at the studio on my own, but not recording. I reckoned he was concerned and this was his way of showing it, but it was hard to tell with him most of the time seeing as he’d made it out as though I was doing him a favour here. An effort I came to find I much appreciated.

“Work, you know how it is.” Jamie replied after a long pause. He was still standing in the same position he’d been in since George arrived, but seemed to move then, picking up what was left of his coffee and pouring what remained down the sink. “But I’d best be going, got a couple calls to make. You gonna be at the studio tomorrow?”

George hummed around his next sip, pulling away with only a dip of his chin. “Should be.”

Jamie smiled, nodding, “Good, I’ll let the rest of them know then.”

I caught George’s slight wince at that, though he didn’t protest his manager's comment. It made me wonder.

Jamie turned to me then, shucking on his jacket. I perked up, not having realised that he really was rushing to leave now. “Remember what I said, alright?”

I blinked, but then nodded. How could I forget? I wanted to ask, but instead said, “You don’t have to head out so quick.”

He sent me a reassuring grin as he flipped over the collar of his coat. “You won’t miss me much,” He then teased before roping me into a hug, “Weren’t lying when I said I had a couple calls though, so it’s best I get out of your hair whilst I still can.”

I smiled softly at the sound of his lighthearted chuckle and nodded before following him over to the door, “Stay safe.”

Jamie rolled his eyes, all too used to my typical parting now, though amused by it all the same. “Can’t promise anything.” He retorted with a smirk, shuffling over the threshold whilst his eyes flickered back to where George still stood once more. “So, about before?”

I inhaled shakily, though Jamie didn’t seem to notice, fingering the pockets of his jacket in search of his mobile. “I’ll think about it.” I told him.

He flashed me a grin at that, pleased, then let his heel trail over to meet the top step of the metal grating. “Talk to you later then.”

I nodded and watched for a second as he descended the staircase, head bobbing down the first set before he turned and disappeared from view. Sliding back inside, I shut the door quietly behind me, taking a second to steel my nerves before facing the room again.

During that time, George had seemingly gone and made himself comfy on the settee, his mug settled on a coffee table coaster. I moved to join him after putting both mine and Jamie’s cups under the tap to rinse before just leaving them to soak.

George was fiddling with something when I sat down beside him but shuffled over a tad to allow me to get more comfortable, “So what was that about?” I questioned.

“With Jamie?” He asked and I nodded, even though I reckoned he already knew what I was on about.

He shrugged slightly and I noted the way his finger trailed over a slip of folded paper, it was creased as though it had been played or fiddled with a dozen times too many. My brow seemed to furrow at the sight of it.

“He tried phoning a few times but I’ve not been too keen on answering, learnt that I’ll just get dragged into the drama if I do.” George finally answered, and for some reason I felt a wad of guilt pool in my stomach upon hearing it, even though I hadn’t been the one to cause this mess.

Or maybe I was just kidding myself.

“Sorry.”

George huffed as he turned to peer over at me, elbows resting on the tops of his knees. “Nothing to be sorry for.” He told me and then gifted me a sweet smile, “None of this is on you. Just thought we were in the clear, you know?” He looked away at that and his smile dimmed into something smaller, almost sadder. “Figured I wouldn’t have to go dodging my mates calls anymore, or be roped into cleaning up everyone else’s messes.”

He reached a hand out to settle on my knee then, probably having noticed the way I was chewing on the insides of my cheek, or maybe the fact that my lip was now trembling. I’d never felt so shitty. So at fault for something I hadn’t really seen coming, nor could I prevent.

“Not your fault, remember?” He reiterated to me, squeezing my joint softly before pulling away. I sniffed before looking up at him with a tiny smile.

“Promise I don’t usually cry this much. Just been a shitty week is all.” I told him, laughing pitifully as I toyed with the hem of the jumper I’d put on earlier that morning when I’d purposefully avoided the hoodie that had been left on my desk chair, as well as the cupboard full of clothes that didn’t belong to me.

I felt the settee dip slightly before I found him sitting right beside me, lifting an arm to wrap me up in a hug. His cheek came to rest on the side of my head and I felt my heart break that little bit more, because it reminded me that in a second, or two, I wouldn’t have that sense of protection he now offered, shielding me from the rest of the world.

“You’ve been put through the wringer.” George murmured and I had to laugh just a little bit, he laughed too, the sound of it reverberating through his chest to where my head rested. “Fucking cry if you want to, alright? No judgement here."

I spluttered a little on my next chuckle, smiling as I wiped at my eyes. George’s arm just tightened its hold by a fraction, as though he knew it would make things that little bit easier. We both sat there like that for a while, and I appreciated the fact that he was okay with a bit of quiet. That he didn’t run scared from it or try to start up an awkward conversation simply to fill it.

Silence was something I’d come to realise that George often favoured. Because sometimes that was all you really needed.

I don’t know how long we continued like that before he shuffled and pulled that same piece of paper from earlier back into view, holding the corner of it between his forefinger and thumb. I pulled away slightly, looking down at it and then back up at him with a small frown.

“What?”

George merely blinked, staring down at the paper with an odd look before he finally placed it in the hand I had resting on my thigh. My frown only deepened.

“What is it?” I asked him, finger trailing over an edge just as he had done when I’d first spotted it. When I went to unfold it from the opposing corner, he stopped me.

Confused, I turned to raise a brow at him, only to find him already looking back at me. He bit into his lower lip and then flattened his mouth into a stern line, “I found that when I was last in the studio.”

My chest tightened for some reason, but I was still so baffled. “Okay?”

We were sitting up better now, George’s arm having slipped from my shoulders to come to rest in his lap, fingers trailing over his left hand’s rigid set of knuckles.

“I figured you should see it.” He added in his usual drawl, though his eyes flickered up from the paper to catch mine then and I realised it must've been important. He seemed wary enough to warrant it.

I went to unfold it once again, but then his hand really reached out to stop my own, “I don’t know if I should be here when you do.”

That alone made me even more curious, although there was an edge of caution that now warred at me. “Why?”

George gifted me a gentle smile, the hand that still laid over top of my own squeezing kindly. “I’ll go grab us some food, alright? If you want to open it then do, if not. I won’t mention it again.”

He moved to stand then but my hand shot out to grab at the sleeve of his arm, “George.” But I didn’t know what else to say, I knew I was fearful though.

His fingers moved to meet mine, resting there for a short moment, “It’s your choice. Just, I couldn’t keep it from you.”

I swallowed thickly as he pushed to his feet, the scuff off his heavy boots bouncing off the hardwood floors. Slowly he moved to grab his jacket, giving me time to say no, to deny his offer. But I couldn’t, I couldn’t do much of anything really.

The door shut behind him with a soft click a minute later and the quiet of the studio suddenly consumed me. When I glanced back down at the paper I held once more I saw the slight tremble of my hands. I forced myself to exhale, but even that was shaky.

I was careful as I unfolded it, listening to the rustle it made before scrawled lines that had bled through to the other side caught my attention. Pausing, I took a moment to just look at them and then thoughtlessly hurried to reveal the rest of it, taking in its full form. My throat tightened at the sight of familiar scribbles.

You had me from the start Pulling all the stops out On the down low, secretly But I think you knew your psychology Was working on me Infatuated And doing this all wrong You've got My number and my name And you've got me going Yeah, you've got me going Can I see you every day? Do you love me Like I love you? Ah, you've got me going Yeah, you've got me going

(Song: Ride - Future Love)

It was as if something in me had shifted and then turned, sparking itself its very own flame on a bone too sharp and growing and growing until its singed edges burnt and blackened every part of me.

I must've sat there staring down at it for ages. Crying silently and alone in an empty room, something I’d been avoiding doing since this had all started. Though I supposed it had been inevitable.

His words. His thoughts. Bared to me on a single page. Him none the wiser to any of it. Probably having not even realised it was gone, or missing. And George had read it. He’d seen it and still, after everything, had given them to me.

A tear dropped from my chin then, blotting the page and I could only watch on as the dark ink appeared to cling to it, seeping further and further into the paper. Smudging the ‘Do you love me’ enough so that my breath stuttered and I was suddenly moving all too quickly for my mind to catch up with my thoughtless actions.

Not even a second later my phone was in my hand.

Messages now To: Jamie O (glasses!) When can he meet me?

–

Matty had always had a thing for Sundays.

There was just something about them. Not all that Godly shite that people preached about it being holy and the first day of the week, ‘cause to him Monday would always hold that title- and Monday’s fucking sucked dick.

No, it was because there was just something peaceful that settled on Sundays, it took him back to simpler times, of days when he’d just been a kid and roast dinners were spent ‘round his nana’s house. Or when Newcastle would play on afternoons and his dad would finally be home to watch with him.

There was just something about them, you know. He didn’t much believe in luck, typically only the bad sort. But if someone held a gun to his head and told him he had to claim a day which would forever work in his favour, it would just have to be Sunday.

Still, he was unsure on where he currently stood with that sentiment as of late. Seeing as how he was currently in the backseat of a cab, jittery hands clinging onto shaking knees whilst rows of houses, broken up by hues of green and blue, rolled on past him.

It hadn’t been a last minute thing, but it felt much like it. The anticipation was getting to him, he knew that much, sweat licking at the back of his neck whilst his shoulders worked their way up to the lobes of his ears.

Jamie had somehow managed it.

Called him up late last night just before Ross had headed off to bed to tell him that she would finally see him. Jamie’d asked if he’d be alright going alone or if they’d prefer a buffer there, but Matty had immediately declined. So he was doing it alone. Though he couldn’t help but wonder if that had been a misstep on his part, if it would have made things easier on her having someone there, or maybe just given him some semblance of relief as the car slowly drove its way over to her house. The very place he hadn’t stepped foot in since the night of George’s birthday party.

But he hadn’t earnt that reassurance. Felt wrong to bring somebody else along either way. So he was stuck, toying with his phone, hoping or praying that a text wouldn’t come through saying that she’d gone and changed her mind.

It had been just under a week since he’d last seen her. But it felt as though time had dragged out slowly, mocking him or maybe even torturing him for all of his many wrongdoings.

He fretted over what she might say when she caught sight of him, he himself having only spotted the state he’d worked himself into when he’d been getting ready that morning.

There were heavy bags set beneath his eyes from where he hadn’t really slept and his cheeks were hollowed in that way that they used to revert to when he’d have a particularly hard weekend way back when. If the papers caught wind of him he already knew what the first articles would say, what they would so obviously claim. But he knew the truth, just hoped that she would know it too.

He was startled from his mind at the jerk of the car pulling up onto the nearest curb. His eyes widened in sudden alarm when he realised just what that meant and then caught the look of dismay that crossed the driver’s face when the bloke looked back to announce that they’d arrived. If the man didn’t already think he was on something, then now he definitely did.

Matty swallowed stupidly and then tried for a smile, struggling to undo his seatbelt with the kickstart of shaking that overtook his hands. The driver took pity on him though, turning away to fiddle with something up front that probably didn’t need fiddling with, and finally Matty’s thumb managed to catch the button.

Releasing himself from the confines of the car, he paused just before the door could slam close behind him, handing the man a couple notes in tip, if only to apologise for his edgy behaviour or buy himself a little more time if the driver had somehow managed to suss him out even with his hat, hood and scarf. “Cheers.” He said.

The man blinked at the onslaught of cash and then nodded repeatedly, “Yes, thank you.”

Matty exhaled shakily and then dipped his chin in another goodbye, stepping back onto the curb and watching the cab pull away before he found himself alone once more.

This was it, he supposed.

The street hadn’t changed much in a matter of days but his mind made it seem as though it had. As though suddenly he didn’t belong. The odd man out.

He shoved his hands into the confines of his pockets, pivoting on his heel to face what he’d come here to do. But nothing had prepared him for the way his stomach suddenly bottomed out at the sight of her front door.

The sound of a car horn a way away spooked him, causing him to jump, but did eventually force him forward off the curb and onto the cracked pavement. He stared down at all the dips and curves they had to offer him the entire way up the path until finally, he reached her front steps.

If anyone asked, Matty would tell them it was as though he’d been working on autopilot when he pried the silver knocker up from the wood and let it rap twice. Though that would be an utter lie. His head screamed at him the whole while and his fingers blurred before him when he’d raised them up to grasp at the chilled metal.

He’d never felt so sick, just standing there, the seconds slowly trickling into minutes, or perhaps even hours. It honestly felt as the day was slowly growing colder the longer that he stood there, staring at a coat of familiar paint, before finally hinges creaked and the door opened, revealing a sight that would’ve surely cured sore eyes, if only it hadn’t gone and broken his heart first.

It wasn’t immediate, the effect the past couple days had had on her. It was more in the way she held herself, the sadness which clung to her every fibre, the way she wouldn’t quite look him in the eye.

She stared, caught in a standstill, and for a long moment did nothing before silently and slowly she withdrew enough to allow him through.

Matty didn’t dare utter a word, let alone breathe. Careful to avoid brushing against her or stepping on her toes as he slowly crossed over the threshold to get in, though the hands he’d hidden in his coat pockets curled into fists to keep himself steady.

The first thing he noted upon first entering was the significant state of the flat, it wasn’t messy or untidy by any means, but looked nothing at all like a house typically inhabited by a child should, or at least a monster as chaotic as he knew Teddy to be. It was almost as though Mouse had been expecting a letting agent to pass through with a couple dozen couples, what with how clean it was. He almost reckoned that if he were to crouch down right there he’d probably be able to make out the seam of his jeans in the reflection of the floors.

“You can just hang your-”

“I know.” Matty whispered, not intentionally meaning to cut her off but unable to help himself anyway.

It hurt, feeling as though he was just a guest in a place he had practically considered home not too long ago. He coughed lightly and shrugged off his coat to do so anyway, hanging it up where he usually did, something which made him pause for a split second, wondering whether this could possibly be the last time he’d have the privilege of doing so.

“Right.” Mouse murmured somewhere behind him, snapping Matty out of his thoughts. She stepped on by him just after, eyes trained on the end of the hallway until they reached the living room, “Erm, I’m just starting on a brew. You can wait here if you want.”

He wanted to follow after her, to fall down onto his knees and fucking sob there at her feet, but he was scared he’d dirty her floors or more than likely end up looking like a total knob. He would. Fucking felt like one just from thinking it. So he did as instructed, moving towards the sofa, taking note of everything and anything the room had to offer him.

Matty’s eyes flickered over to the kitchen doorway when he realised she’d stopped there, fiddling with her nails before she caught him looking and dropped her hands. “Just realised I didn’t ask if you wanted anything.”

God, it was so fucking strained.

He took a short breath in and attempted to smile, “Tea sounds good.” Was all that he said, and watched on as her brow wrinkled, head tilting with it.

“Uh, I still have that coffee you like. The one you brought over, if you’d prefer.” She told him and he recognised her confusion for what it was, or maybe it was just her weariness over letting him know that his stuff was still where he’d left it. Or, maybe, just fucking maybe he was reading way too much into everything.

“Tea’s good.” Matty murmured, feeling a little less tense now that he knew that she was sort of sitting in the same boat. “But thanks.”

Her chest rose and fell with her next breath and he watched her nod with difficulty at him, still not meeting his eye. “Right, just be a sec then.”

She disappeared past the door with that, whilst he simply stood and listened to the run of the tap and then the flick of the kettle, feeling stupid for having missed something he hadn’t even realised he’d taken note of before.

But that was just typical, wasn’t it? To miss something so mundane now that it was no longer expected.

Once he heard the clink of mugs Matty allowed his gaze to roam, trailing over the bundle of neatly folded throws settled on the wicker basket by the sofa, ones he knew that if Teddy was here would still be scattered all over the floor before the tv.

There were a couple of coasters laid out on the coffee table, though the fruit bowl had since been removed, something he knew Mouse did whenever there were only a few pieces left or none at all. There would probably be grapes or something of the sort in the fridge though.

She had a couple of receipts left out on the shelf below the mirror she’d hung up on the wall when she’d first moved in, and the picture frames beside them were still the same. Only one was missing, and he knew which.

He noticed that the candles over by the lamp were new though, expensive if he remembered rightly because he was sure that he’d spotted them round someone else’s place recently. He wondered briefly over who could’ve gifted them to her, knowing that she much preferred her usual scents, only ever splurging on the larger Yankee Candle jars they had to offer in the local Debenhams.

He found himself smiling at the thought.

It was then that she shuffled back into the room though, stalling his observations. She carried two mugs in her hand and a small plate loaded with biscuits on her forearm. Immediately Matty moved to help her, taking the plate from her even with knowing that she had it handled.

“I could’ve managed.” She murmured, though not unkindly, and then thanked him quietly once she’d gone and placed the mugs down.

Matty followed her lead, settling the biscuits near the edge of the coffee table, between the two coasters, before fumbling for a second over where to sit. Squeaks seemed to take to one end of the settee so Matty perched on the other, though closer to the middle crease than the arm.

“You got hobnobs?” Matty finally asked, breaking the silence again, eyes flicking over to the plate he’d just held before shooting back over to find her.

She blushed faintly at his comment, then shrugged. “You like them, don’t you?”

Matty scoffed lightly, a soft smile limning his lips, “Yeah, but you hate them. Once claimed that they were like digestives only after being shat out.”

She wrinkled her nose at that, though Matty was quite sure he could spot the mirth that flickered across her face. “Want them or not?”

Rolling his eyes in fond exasperation and knowing not to push it, he picked one up and settled in a little more comfortably into the sofa cushions.

The silence would’ve been almost unbearable if she hadn’t had the foresight to have turned the tv on low before he’d arrived. So whilst a documentary played on one of the many BBC channels, Matty struggled with himself to find the best thing to say. Though he needn’t have bothered, she was always one step ahead.

“So, I think I should start by saying that I um, I know I held a lot of expectations.”

Almost simultaneously, Matty frowned.

She just wrung her hands together once before thinking better of it and laying them flat in her lap. Matty merely wished to reach out and take them in his own. “And I get that it must’ve been a struggle for you, to basically go from like one end of a scale and then jump right off the other side. But, I-”

“What are you on about?” Matty interrupted, unable to help himself in truth, so beyond baffled by the sudden speech she’d started. She stopped and blinked over at him, finally looking him in the eye. At last.

“What do you mean?” She retorted with a pinch between her brows, “Listen, I planned this all out, alright? So can I just get out what I want to say?”

Matty stared, then forced out a breath of air. “Squeaks,” She shuttered at the name, closing off slightly, enough so that Matty took quick note and wished he hadn’t said a thing, but yet, he still carried on. Desperate to save any blundered attempt he’d make. “Look, this weren’t on you. None of it was, okay?”

Her eyes trailed back over towards him at that, though her expression was almost unreadable. Matty struggled with that bit the most, he’d always been able to read her for the most part.

“So, this crap about expectations and me struggling with whatever idea you’ve made up in your mind is stupid.” Her eyes narrowed then and he watched her work her jaw, obviously none too happy about his retort. He withheld a heavy sigh, “I’m not- Look, I’m not trying to be difficult I’m just saying that- What I’m trying to say is, that every relationship has goals or expectations, that’s normal. But nothing you ever did forced me do what I did. That shit? It was all on me. It was me being insecure and scared, yeah? So, don’t go trying to excuse it. Because I’ve had people do that for me for far too fucking long now and hearing it come from you...”

He sort of felt himself slump at that, a little bitter and resentful over the fact that she’d since come to think of it that way. As though his mistakes were all just down to her and her inability to do right by him. He realised though, belatedly, that if anyone else had done exactly that, or even attempted to, in any other scenario he just might have taken up the offer and ran with it. But this was her, this was Squeaks.

She was quiet for a time, then she picked up her mug, eyes trained on the movement of it before, “What then?”

“What?” Matty frowned once more, shuffling forward in his seat in an attempt to catch her eye again.

“Why did you do it then? Why’d you lie, why didn’t you tell me about Teddy?”

That knot he’d been feeling for weeks now. The one at the very end of his tongue, all tied and tangled in the back of his throat, suddenly shrivelled up and slackened, leaving a bitter aftertaste and a plethora of guilt behind.

Matty’s gaze wandered over to the window, to where Teddy’s guitar sat in its stand just before a heavy set of grey curtains. He withheld the urge to pick at his nails as he searched for the right words to give her, wanting so honestly to tell her the truth, to give her a play by play of what had happened in detail, as well as every thought that had gone through his mind.

“It wasn’t what it looked like for a start.”

Mouse scoffed a little at that, and Matty couldn’t be mad at it. If he was sat on the other end of this he’d been doing more than just that, he’d be up in arms, tossing shit about and raving to all who would listen.

Still, his eyes trailed down to where his hands now laid in his lap and he pressed his thumb to his palm. “We were on the highstreet, on the way back here.” He started, voice quiet as his stare tracked the faint lines of his hand, “The guy you saw in the pictures came out of nowhere really. Me and Teds had just been at that ice cream shop a way down, I didn’t even spot him until he was there, in my face.”

Matty wet his lower lip, mouth suddenly going dry. Mouse just waited.

“Teddy was quick to hide behind me, you know? The loudmouth didn’t even really notice him until the last minute. But you have to know, all I wanted was to get him out of there. To avoid staying too long and attracting the wrong sort of attention. Okay? So I’d said I had to get going as soon as he'd spoken, told him I didn’t have time to stay and chat.”

He took a quick breath with that, eyes still centred on the deepest groove of his palm. “But then he, then he brought up Luke. Said something about the funeral he didn't go to and wanting to celebrate his life.” Out of the corner of his eye he saw Squeaks’s hands still from their previous bout of fidgeting. “But I told him I was clean. He didn’t believe me at first, which,” Matty huffed out a self-deprecating laugh, “Well, I can’t blame him for that, what with my track record.”

He heard her inhale then and looked up, it seemed as though she was going to say something but thought better. So Matty bit down on the insides of his cheeks to keep from asking before he exhaled slowly, digging a nail into that groove.

“He got a bit aggy, started calling me a toff and whatnot, because I 'spose I was just a rich boy who bought him a couple grams of coke every now and then.” He clucked his tongue thinking about it, but eventually shrugged. “Then I don’t know, he must’ve looked down or something ‘cause that’s when he,” Matty paused and his gaze shot over to her, then away again, “That’s when he spotted Teddy.”

Mouse wrinkled her mouth, then tried to nod, obviously wanting him to continue. Though she kept her eyes trained on the rim of her mug.

“That’s when he said some shit and I reacted.”

“Said what?”

Matty startled a little at the sound of her question but was hasty in his attempt to answer. “Just, he reckoned that Teddy was mine and that I had to have knocked someone up. So now they were just using me for the money.”

Her eyes slipped closed and her fingers tightened their grip on her cup.

Swallowing thickly, Matty went to continue, “I shoved him and told him to do one- that’s what they caught in those photos. I didn't take anything he offered, I didn't even look back after. Just walked away, thinking of Teddy, trying to get him out of there. The bloke, he kept on shouting, saying some crap about this and that. But I carried on walking.”

Matty was proud of that fact, even with everything that had happened since. Not too long ago, a different version of him would have handled it all too severely. It was a step, a tiny one, sure, but it was progress.

“Then what?” Mouse voiced, prompting him along with just a look.

“Then we walked home.” Matty replied, feeling that familiar cloud of shame dawn over him. “We didn’t really speak, I- I was a bit of a mess, trying to figure out what to do next, what to tell Teddy, to say to make it right again. But Teds, he,” Matty hauled in his next breath, all too fucking close to bawling, that he could admit. “He called for me and I looked down at him. All I could say was sorry, Mouse.”

She nodded tightly, the knuckles she had wrapped around her tea cup had whitened.

“He,” Matty felt the corners of his mouth lift as he remembered the bittersweet memory of Teddy trying to soothe him, “He told me it was alright, that we were okay, but I just kept on saying sorry. He said that the bloke was just a bad man, and I assured him of that. Wanting him to know that we were okay, that the guy was long gone. But then he-”

Matty stopped altogether then, a picture of Teddy's little face coming to the forefront of his mind, and Squeaks immediately took note.

“Then what?”

Her eyes were so full of emotion, but which ones he wasn’t too sure. Still, the sight tightened every muscle in his chest as he forced himself to finish what he’d started. “He said we couldn’t tell you.”

Matty knew he couldn’t have imagined the sharp inhale that sounded from her then, as though she'd just received a blow to the chest. And he so desperately wanted to reach out, to wrap her up and just fucking hold her. But he couldn't. It wasn't his place.

He watched on as she licked at her top lip though, blinking back the wetness that shone in her eyes, “Why?” Her voice cracked on the question but she did not cry.

It was a simple answer. “He didn’t want to hurt you.”

Mouse stood then, placing the cup down with some force before she hastily made her way over to the front window. Matty stayed seated, unsure if he’d be welcome near her.

“It fucking broke me, Squeaks.” He admitted after a moment, his lips now tingled with the sheer amount of effort it took for him to not let his emotions get the better of him. “I didn’t know what to do.”

“You should have told me.” Was her reply, sharp and cutting, enough that it fucking wounded. Because Matty knew that she was right.

“I know.” He answered.

“You should have fucking told me, Matty!” She repeated, turning then to face him. He saw the tremble of her shoulders, the curve of her mouth and how it quaked. He stared, couldn't bring himself to look away.

“I know.”

He swallowed, throat almost aching as much as the hole that made up the majority of his chest.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

“I don't know.” He murmured, mostly to himself.

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aromanticautiesworld · 6 months

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finn x fem reader whos really into science, rambles on a bunch and finn actually listena to her which she hasnt seen anyone do and actually CARE about what shes saying and immediately starts crushing (they were og friends but it just made her heart flutter and it was a pretty sunset)

YES YES ABSOLUTELY love this <- fixated on astrophysics since he was six and is considering becoming one in the far future

////

finn with a fem reader who’s a science nerd

word count: 745

Finn called you over for repairs to their telescope not too long ago, something about a fight with the Ice King where he cracked the lense. The sun had already gone down, and the stars (now more visible after all the human’s pesky light pollution was gone) came out of their hiding spots along with the crescent moon.

You stopped the video game you were speeding through, the call being a necessary distraction to pull you out of what would otherwise be many hours straight of gameplay, and a significant lack of self-care.

You pack your bag with snacks, and (of course) books about astrophysics and astronomy (just in case the hangout became a sleepover, or you suddenly needed them. Things can get very chaotic very quickly with Finn), two of your favorite and very closely related sciences. Unlike him, you didn’t want to adventure for your whole life, you did eventually want to become an astrophysicist, maybe study with Peebs.

“Why do you even have a telescope if you never use it?” You say, looking down at the new lense you were trying to install.

“‘Cuz we need it to see any incoming baddies,” Finn waves his sword around, whacking imaginary enemies.

“What about, like. Using binoculars instead,”

“Telescope sees better,”

“Fair point, fair point,” You raise an eyebrow at him, “You do actually know what it’s for, right?”

Finn pauses to think. “I mean…you look at the stars. At least I think you do. I dunno why you’d look at them through that when you can see ‘em perfectly fine from here,”

“It’s cool, trust me! It’s to see them in more detail,”

Finn stares blankly at you.

“So, in space, there’s, like. a hundred billion things—things we can’t even see from here—and this telescope lets you look at all the stuff you can’t see and all the stuff you can see but better,”

Finn sheathes his sword, “I thought there was just the stars, planets and the moon in space?”

“Oh, well. Yeah, but there’s also asteroids, meteoroids, all those decayed satellites from before the mushroom war, supernovas—oh oh oh! Do you know what a supernova is? They’re so cool—they’re basically a big, big star that after becoming a red supergiant they implode in this huge burst of energy that lasts years—and at the end it either makes a neutron star, or a black hole. Black holes are actually super cool too, they don’t let anything out—not even light! Most black holes are smaller than Ooo but there are some massive ones at the center of every galaxy—which is a whole other thing—that could’ve been formed by being compressed at the center of giant stars back in the ancient universe. Also, they’re probably going to be the last thing in the universe but because of hawking radiation eventually they’ll fade away too, and…um…”

You look back over at Finn, who now sat criss cross on the floor of the balcony. He’d been intently listening (even if he didn’t understand some of it) but in your eyes you were boring him. Most people don’t have the energy or desire to listen to your long rants about space, and once you start, the conversation fizzles out and they’re too tired to talk to you.

You look down at your hands, “Sorry, I was rambling again. We can talk about something else if you want, haha…”

“No, no no no,” He had zoned out many times during PB’s talks of numbers and other things kinda irrelevant to him, but for you it was different. Maybe he just likes hearing the sound of your voice, he doesn’t know. “Can you keep going?”

Your heart flutters.

Your rambling continues on into the night, moon and stars slowly moving across the skies. Finn doesn’t add much to the conversation, mostly watches with a fluttering feeling he couldn’t figure out in his chest. Man, you were pretty when you talked.

Many hours later (you don’t know it, but the sun’s coming up soon), you sit by Finn’s side, both of you sleepy from staying up all night.

Finn looks over to you, “Tonight was fun,”

You’re quiet, “…the funny thing is, most peeps don’t like to hear about it. The stars,”

“I wanna hear about the stars, if it’s you talking about them,”

Your eyes practically sparkle, and you pull him into a hug. Finn’s face grows hot, and he freezes before hugging you back.

“Tier one, dude,”

“What?”

#mariner talks #mariner writes #finn the human x reader #finn x reader #adventure time x reader #finn the human

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finn-writes-stuff · 1 year

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Hello :) I must admit I've been binge reading your content. I was hoping I could request a Percy (Vox Machina) x gn reader where he gets very worried when reader either nearly sacrifices themselves for him or they take a risk that he didn't think was necessary? 10/10 worried perce is adorbs but i also feel guilty o.o 👉👈 ngl I live for when he be stressing and overprotective lmao. Poor Percy needs a vacation.

I Need You

Percy hadn't let himself care for someone this much ever since he lost everyone. How had you managed to change that?

Percy de Rolo x Reader

Fandom: The Legend of Vox Machina/ Critical Role

Format: Oneshot (1550 words)

Content Warnings: Fairly light descriptions of injuries, and an argument between Reader and Percy. Talk of potential deadly harm, as this takes place after a battle.

Gender Neutral Reader

Masterlist

Consider the image of Percy on vacation in one of those Hawaiian shirts and big sunglasses. Also I do not apologize for the amount of Pike. She is everything to me<3 -Finn

"Now, I know reckless in a fight," Pike said, carefully wrapping a bandage around the deep wound on your leg. "I have been reckless in a fight. But that? That was not reckless. That was stupid. And stupid will get you killed out there! And then where would we be?"

You knew her well enough to recognize the concern under the scolding, even as she wrapped the bandage a little tighter than necessary to punctuate her point. You felt bad about letting her look after you even after she had burned the last of her spell slots, but she hadn't been keen on taking no for an answer after getting a look at the injury, dragging you to your room in the keep. According to her, it was a miracle you’d gotten back to the keep at all on that leg after the battle. Even when you insisted you could wrap it yourself, she waved you off. Too kind for her own good with a party like this. Sometimes she was the only thing keeping you all from running headfirst to your demises. (Or at least yanking you all back when you tried.)

"I know, I know. I'm sorry, Pike. I just couldn't let Percy take the hit instead, he didn't see it coming, he would be worse off than I am now." You smiled at the cleric, shrugging your shoulders sheepishly. Pike didn’t look all that impressed, but you knew she understood.

His gun had jammed in the middle of the battle, a familiar flaw of its mechanisms. But instead of teasing your lover about it like usual, you had seen an attacker lunge at him as he let his guard down. He was a ranged fighter, nothing should have been allowed to get that close in the first place. Of course, he dropped his guard for a moment. In any other fight, he would have been fine to unjam his gun while ducking back from the battle.

It sent an uncomfortable chill down your spine when you imagined what might have happened if you hadn't been so close. Throwing yourself in the way and fighting off the creature had landed you with a blindingly painful wound on your leg and likely a couple of bruised ribs if the ache that came with breathing was anything to go by. It had been stronger than you'd expected, and getting hit with the flat of a weapon may have been better than the edge, but it still hurt like a bitch.

"Both of you were being stupid. If I see that happen again, you'll have Grog patch you up instead. And he hasn't quite gotten a handle on his bedside manner, yet."

Laughing hurt, but It was good to know Pike was relaxed enough to joke. Meant that you probably weren't dying.

"Pike! Are they-" Percy bolted into the room, looking for all intents a wild man, before stopping in his tracks at the sight of you. A load of tension dropped from his shoulders, but only for long enough for him to register your injuries. You knew you looked pretty rough. In all fairness, so did he, his white hair shot through with wisps of gray from gunsmoke and the black powder always left on his gloves. He must have been running his hands through it, if it’s messy style was anything to go off of.

"Hey, Percy," you said softly, doing your best to offer a reassuring smile. It must have been closer to a grimace with the concerned noise he bit off in response. There was something a little heartbreaking about the open stress and worry in his eyes as he stepped forward, hesitating to touch you. He so often had his emotions in check, that seeing them so openly on display felt unfair to him. You grabbed his hand, squeezing it a moment, and the contact seemed to pull him back out of his thoughts.

"By the gods, what were you thinking? Are you insane? You could have gotten yourself killed! Who just jumps in front of an attack like that?" He wasn't quite yelling, wouldn't yell at you in your own room, but the panic set into his voice was more than a sufficient substitute.

"Percy, it's not like you were dodging it, you would have been hit instead." You made an attempt at answering reasonably, trying to calm his worries, but if anything, it only made it worse somehow.

"Then you should have let it hit me instead of throwing yourself at a blade! If it had hit you at a different angle it very well could have gone straight through you! Were you thinking at all?" He had dropped your hand now, pacing a circle in your room.

"I was thinking about how you were going to get hit. Is it such a crime to look out for you?"

"At the cost of yourself, yes!"

"I'm not going to sit and watch you get hurt if I can do something about it!"

"And make me watch you nearly die instead?"

Pike spoke up before you could say anything, pushing herself to her feet. "Both of you. Quit it." She was obviously both annoyed and exhausted. You and Percy both wilted under her tone as she turned to look at you. "That was a stupid and dangerous move today. Don't pull that again. Percy, Don't yell at someone who saved you, you sound like an asshole. They need to rest, so shelve your argument for later."

The wind had been taken out of his sails, leaving him standing back by the wall, thoroughly chastised. "I, yes, of course, Pike."

"Don't walk on that leg today, take it easy," Pike said, looking back at you. "I'll be back in a couple of hours to double-check on you, but I need some rest. I'm plumb out of energy."

"Don't worry about it, Pike, I'll be alright. Thank you."

"Good. Now both of you, if I hear anything about you two arguing again, I'm setting Keyleth on your case." With that, she patted your shoulder and swept out of the room.

There was a moment of awkward silence, Percy glancing around your room rather than meeting your eyes. He seemed to be debating on what to say, or maybe whether to follow Pike out the door to be out of your hair.

"Percy,"

"I apologize. I shouldn't have been so harsh with you. Especially not while you're injured. I didn't- I, well." Staring fiercely at his feet, his apology was stumbling. There was something endearing about it, in the way there always was when he extended a branch of vulnerability. "I was worried about you. Seeing you get thrown to the ground after taking a hit for me was...terrifying, to say the least."

"Oh, Percy," you sighed, beckoning him over. "It was pretty fucking terrifying to see you about to be hit, too."

He walked up to you, stopping in front of you and kneeling down so as to look up at you instead of towering over you. "I...can understand that. I simply don't want you getting hurt on my behalf. Or at all, really."

"Wouldn't that be lovely? Being adventurers who never get hurt." You reached a hand out, resting it softly on his cheek. He leaned into your touch, and you could see through the worry to the affection underneath it. "I don't want you hurt either. If today didn't make that obvious."

"I know, dear, I do." He nodded, turning his head to press a kiss to your palm. It was achingly soft, like he was still afraid that you would break. You wouldn’t, but the gentle nature of his love still squeezed your heart. "Could I at least look after you while you recover? This is my fault."

"Don't be an idiot, I moved of my own free will. But, I wouldn't deny some extra time with you. And I'll need the help if I'm supposed to stay off my leg."

"We can discuss who's at fault tomorrow, love. Tell me what I can do to help?" There was an exasperated fondness in his voice, the familiar pattern the two of you always fell into. It was soothing after the sharp tension of before.

"Just hold me? We could both use the chance to relax, I think."

He let out a breathless chuckle, nodding and reluctantly pulling back from your gentle hold. He wasn't fragile either, not like glass ready to break. But you couldn't help but want to treat him with care, the same way he treated you as he carefully helped you lie down in your bed, shedding his coat to slip in beside you and draw you into his arms.

There would be more fights to come, there would be more injuries and arguments, and worries. But if after them all, you could both be okay enough to end up like this, it would be alright. Your face pressed against his shoulder, his hands steady on your back. You could be safe here, together.

As your heartbeats fell into synch, you gently pulled off his glasses, setting them aside. It made it easier to lean in and kiss him, slow and tired.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

#finnwrites #percival fredrickstein von musel klossowski de rolo iii #percy de rolo #percy de rolo x reader #percival de rolo x reader #tlovm x reader #tlovm #the legend of vox machina x reader #legend of vox machina x reader #the legend of vox machina #legend of vox machina #critical role #critical role c1 #critical role x reader #oneshot

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david-talks-sw · 1 year

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Luke Skywalker in 'The Last Jedi' (2/2)

OK, so in Part 1/2 of this post, we explored why Luke's TLJ characterization isn't really inconsistent with what had previously been established in Star Wars lore. It tracks. Dare I say: it works.

And yet... something still feels off, right?

Well, the reason for this is because Luke's character development is impacted by the film's structure, which in turn is impacted by - of all things - Poe's lack of development in Episode VII! Just hear me out!

The intention: Making the audience feel the same emotions as the protagonist, deuteragonists and antagonist.

This is what most movies strive for. Unless the film is trying to go for some dramatic irony, you want your audience to be on the same page with your protagonist, emotionally-speaking.

And y'know what? Rian Johnson does this very well.

Overall, he displays a very good grasp of making us, the audience, feel the same emotions as a film’s protagonist (generally, the main character, whose POV we follow) or deuteragonist (the ‘secondary main character’).

Rey was expecting to meet the Luke from the Original Trilogy, the Luke from Legends... and instead was disappointed to meet an old jaded hermit. Just like many of the fans were.

Finn is fooled by DJ, mistaking him for an archetypal "misfit with a heart of gold". Just like the fans were.

Poe is increasingly frustrated with Holdo, just like we were.

Call it "meta", call it "subversive", the bottom line is that some of the narrative choices that a lot of fans criticize the film for are intentionally placed there to put you in the same mental state as the characters you're following, even during the film's twists.

But as a result, if a character isn’t the protagonist (Rey), or the deuteragonists (Poe or Finn), or even the antagonist (Kylo)... they'll barely get any development.

They might get one or two scenes for themselves tops, but overall secondary characters like Luke, or Holdo, or DJ will mostly be shown through the filter of Rey or Poe’s or Finn's POV.

The Problem: Luke isn't a protagonist or deuteragonist, so he isn't developed to the audience's satisfaction.

Don't get me wrong: Luke has the second-most screen time in the whole film, but that's because Rey is the one with the most screen time, and he's primarily a character in her storyline.

To be fair, he does have his own subplot, he's the spiritual center of the whole film. But concretely, he’s one step above support characters like Holdo, Leia, Rose and DJ. We're barely shown his own POV and mainly view him through Rey's lens.

Like, there's a reason why in this scene...

... we don't see what Luke witnessed in Ben’s mind, simply his reaction to it: Rey didn’t see it either.

All three "Rashomon" flashbacks are what Rey is picturing in her mind when she’s being told three different versions of the story. She doesn't see what Luke witnessed, so we don't see it either.

And you know what? On paper... this is also not really an issue. It's actually quite standard. I mean, Yoda doesn't get much backstory or an arc in Empire Strikes Back. He's just the mentor figure, and we see him through Luke's POV.

There's no arguing that Luke in TLJ receives much more development than Yoda does in ESB.

But y’know what?

Yoda was also never the protagonist of a whole other trilogy.

So if you're gonna tell an audience that "the protagonist of the previous trilogy strayed from the path and is now a completely different person" - even if they eventually make their way back with a character arc - I don’t think it’s out of order for audience members to expect more development than a regular mentor archetype.

Context is expected, and when it isn't delivered, that'll kill the suspension of disbelief, for many fans. They're not just disappointed in Luke like Rey is, they're not immersed in the movie anymore.

So how do you go for what Rian was going while also trying to keep about half the fans from jumping ship?

The Solution (?) Delving deeper into Luke.

So let’s suppose Luke was treated like a deuteragonist. Suppose we see his own POV more, rather than just seeing him through Rey’s eyes. Would that help? And what would that look like?

Firstly, we keep that deleted scene of him mourning Han’s loss.

Or we show it like in the comic adaptation of TLJ, with Luke getting angry at his decision to cut himself off from the Force, unintentionally levitating objects until Chewie consoles him.

WHAT IT DOES: Either version humanizes Luke, shows who he is beneath the jaded mask he's putting on, gives audience a chance to mourn Han with him.

We keep that deleted scene of him explaining to Rey why he thinks the Jedi were flawed, also known as the “3rd lesson scene”.

WHAT IT DOES: Spells out Luke's rationalization that the Jedi Order needs to end. Marks the beginning of Luke's wake up call.

We add one or two additional short flashbacks of Ben gradually becoming darker and unhinged. Maybe he harms one of his fellow students in a fit of rage.

WHAT IT DOES: Clarifies that Ben was going through a dark period and that's why Luke went to confront him in his hut. He didn't just saunter into Ben's hut, sabers blazing.

Maybe halfway through the film, we see Luke pack his bag as he prepares to rescue his friends with Rey, only to find her communicating with Kyloe.

After all, the novelization shows that, upon opening himself to the Force and sensing Leia, he immediately decides to get back in the game. So if that’s not just something Jason Fry added to embellish stuff, let’s see that.

WHAT IT DOES: Drives home the fact that Luke realizes his mistake. (Although, it might also take away from the subsequent scene with Yoda).

Finally, let’s actually see what Luke saw in Ben’s mind: him killing Lor San Tekka, killing Han, killing Leia, murdering Chewie and countless more innocents all with a smile on his face.

WHAT IT DOES: Provides context for Luke's extreme reaction.

Most of these things are already technically canon, the only difference is that it would be shown on screen. And if all these elements are added, then Luke’s reasons for staying away and his reaction in Ben’s hut are already more understandable.

So where’s the flaws in this solution?

Solution Flaw #1: Plot twist would be ruined.

Talking about this one:

Again, we're seeing Luke THROUGH Rey's POV, for the most part. Our reaction is - intentionally - the same reaction as Rey.

The whole point of the twist is that

we, with Rey, believe Kylo can be redeemed, because

we, like Rey, remember Luke redeemed Vader.

So when she realizes “oh shit, Luke was right, he’s too far gone”... we react that way too.

But if we had seen Ben’s turn as well, if we had seen how he was during his training, if we had seen what Luke’s saw in Ben’s mind, we would all collectively agree with Luke and think that Rey is making a mistake in trying to redeem Kylo.

So when Rey walks away from Luke, rather than hoping she succeeds, we’d just be waiting for her to inevitably fail. We'd be thinking:

"Rey, you moron, you're walking into a trap and Kylo isn't gonna turn!"

Emotionally-speaking, we would be detached from the protagonist.

Solution Flaw #2: Increase in the runtime at the cost of other scenes.

The Last Jedi is already the longest film in the franchise. Adding just three of the above-suggestions would increase that runtime, which wouldn’t work. So you’d need to take something out.

But Finn and Poe’s storylines are already stripped down to their bare bones as it is. Hell, so was the Rey/Luke storyline, for that matter.

Actually, wait... why do we have three storylines, in the first place?

After all, if we look at The Empire Strikes Back, they only have two storylines, right?

The protagonist, Luke, goes to Dagobah.

The deuteragonists, Han and Leia, evade the Empire.

Main plot & subplot. Great.

Wouldn't it be better to just have Poe and Finn do the Canto Bight storyline together? That would give us sme remaining time to focus on Luke’s past, right? Where’s the issue?

Well, Rian Johnson put it this way:

Bottom line, in The Force Awakens, Poe is a clear-cut character. Simple as that. He’s charismatic and fun, but there isn’t much room for him to grow.

A lot of people compare his character to Han, but there's an issue with that comparison (besides the obvious fact that Finn is Han and Poe is Leia)...

In ANH, Han has an arc. He's the philosophical antagonist of the film, he's only out for himself which conflicts with Luke's attempts to help others. Han goes from being a selfish irresponsible gun-slinger to taking responsibility and becoming a selfless rebel, a part of something bigger. Arc concluded.

(Hell, this very reason is why Harrison Ford didn’t wanna keep playing him and lobbied to kill him off.)

So in ESB, Leia is the one who has the arc. Han is just being himself. Leia is the one who must slowly come to terms with the fact that she does love him, despite him being a total nerf-herder. So she and Han bicker, there’s conflict there, but there’s also an underlying affection.

As such, when Poe doesn’t have an arc in TFA, and is already on great terms with Finn, then there’s no conflict if you put them together in a subplot.

And conflict is crucial, in storytelling. If it's absent, then the story becomes boring.

As a result, Rian Johnson had to create conflict and growth for Poe.

Which means that, now, a third storyline is thrown in the mix... and the pacing and development of the other two are affected by this. Some really good scenes need to be cut, some stuff needs to get shuffled around.

For example, remember this deleted scene, from further up?

In the commentary, Rian explained that the reason it wasn’t in the film is because it didn’t intercut well with the other two storylines. *Three and a half, if you wanna count Kylo's personal scenes.

As such, there’s no space to add more scenes to develop Luke's perspective.

And if Rian made more space, well, that wouldn't work either. Because while Luke is the spiritual core of the film... this isn't his movie. He's not the protagonist anymore. But he used to be, and if you show him too much (not as Rey's mentor figure, that is, but as a protagonist or deuteragonist), he'll take the spotlight off the new cast with the snap of a finger.

When Michael Arndt was working on the Sequels with George Lucas in 2012, he encountered this same issue:

“Early on I tried to write versions of the story where [Rey] is at home, her home is destroyed, and then she goes on the road and meets Luke. And then she goes and kicks the bad guy’s ass. It just never worked and I struggled with this. This was back in 2012. It just felt like every time Luke came in and entered the movie, he just took it over. Suddenly you didn’t care about your main character anymore because, ‘Oh f*ck, Luke Skywalker's here. I want to see what he’s going to do’.” - Michael Arndt, Entertainment Weekly, 2015

And I'm guessing this is a problem that JJ had to deal with too, hence why Luke was pushed to the end of Episode VII: so as to give the new characters a chance to be developed a bit more, first.

“In a very general sense, the original idea for Episode VII started midway through what we now know as Episode VIII...” - Pablo Hidalgo, Twitter, 2016

There's finally the fact that, while most of those ideas can make Luke's fall more understandable... his story isn't about "how he fell".

It's about how he got back up. The whole point of the film is that even when you've reached your lowest point you can still inspire and be inspired by hope.

So while adding any of the above scenes would only reinforce what was already shown in the movie, be it explicit or subtextual... they wouldn't ADD anything to the theme of learning from failure and getting back in the saddle.

Do I care about Luke’s characterization in TLJ...?

In spite of what the length and intricacy of these two posts might indicate... I don’t, really 😅

Like, sure, I wish more had been done with the character, but Luke was never really my childhood hero, Obi-Wan was.

So Luke in TLJ isn’t a gaping wound in my chest. I didn't whine about it in 2017, nor did I shed tears of joy and said “he’s finally back” when we saw him in The Mandalorian, for example.

Like, it was an awesome scene, but in my mind Luke never left.

Also I’m the type of Star Wars fan who’ll tolerate any addition to the canon by virtue of it being new Star Wars content.

So even if that addition is something I didn’t enjoy during the viewing, I still focus on the positive and roll with it, I come up with a headcanon that'll make it work.

Because you get to do that, with a transmedia franchise!

If you don’t like how it went down in the movie? There's always a comic around the corner that'll retcon it and/or retroactively make it better... that's how it was for the Prequels.

But for the Sequels, it's difficult. There's a scarcity of transmedia content, when it comes to stuff set around the Sequels era.

I mean, can you think of any

Luke-centric work

that serves as a meaningful addendum to what's seen of him in the Sequels?

A novel, a comic issue and a distantly-relevant manga.

That's it.

(The Mandalorian and Book of Boba Fett are too soon after ROTJ to have any meaningful impact on Luke's journey in the Sequels. Some people see Luke's behavior in those shows as "the beginning of his failure", but I covered why I don't think this is really the case, here.)

Instead of just three items, how about a comic mini-series focusing on the year Luke spent training Leia, or on his adventures across the galaxy as he tries to rebuild the Jedi Order? Maybe he meets Cal Kestis, or Quinlan Vos? Maybe he needs to face against an Oppo Rancisis who was consumed by the darkness, post-Order 66?

Or better yet, how about a video game centered on Luke, in the style of Fallen Order or Jedi Academy?

Get Mark Hamill to motion cap it, he's done it before.

This would also allow the fans who grew up with the powerhouse that is Legends Grandmaster Luke Skywaker to have some fun!

Many fans wanted to see Luke in action, in TLJ, and instead got a pretend-samurai fight. Which is nice, powerful and symbolic, he goes out like a true Jedi, it makes the Force more than a superpower... but it's not a lightsaber duel. In a game, though? Players can go to town.

I dunno... any additional content would've smoothed the blow for many people who didn't like what was done with Luke in TLJ. Sure, you'd always have people who just hated the whole thing, but if transmedia content helped reduce the hate for the Prequels, it could've done the same with Luke.

I'm not sure why that route wasn't taken.

#Luke Skywalker #The Last Jedi #Rian Johnson #Star Wars episode VIII #star wars #jedi order #meta #long post #Ahch-To #in defense of the jedi #episode 8 #Ben Solo #Kylo Ren #Mark Hamill #star wars sequel trilogy

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georgiapeach30513 · 2 years

Text

Every Other Weekend, Part 5

Summary: Things did not go well for Jack, and things went great for you and Nick

Pairings: Jack O’Malley X Reader, Nick Fowler X Reader

Rating: explicit

Warnings: language, discussions about cheating, explicit sexual content, oral sex (F receiving), fingering, squirting, spitting, choking, multiple orgasms, implied dumbification, implied objectification, cocky!Nick Fowler, 18+ ONLY

Word Count: 4.8K

Series Masterlist

*dividers by @firefly-graphics

Nervously you busy yourself, doing anything, before Jack arrives to pick up Finn. Had swept the house multiple times. Vacuumed and vacuumed again. Mopped until you were light headed from the cleaning supplies, and still you couldn’t sit still. A constant beating and banging of Finn’s drums, and honestly it makes you want to scream. Thrilled when Jack just walks into the house without knocking.

Walking into the kitchen to see you unloading the dishwasher. Again. He takes a deep breath, and dramatically coughs at the lingering clean smell, before sitting down at the bar, “What’s the deal with the cleaning?”

“I’m getting the stench of loneliness out of this house,” you answer shortly. Continuing about your business.

Jack’s finger taps on the counter, hissing through his teeth. “Can we talk?”

“Is that not what we’re doing?”

“No, I say something, and you snap back. That’s different.”

“Well, what do you want me to say Jack?” You go to make a cup of coffee, and Jack walks over to you, pointing at the stools. “What do you want?”

“I’m going to make you a cup of coffee,” while you roll your eyes, he moves around to the machine, and spins on his heels to stare at you. “I messed up.”

“Mhmm. We established that nearly a year ago.”

“Can we go back to sessions?” You shake your head no, but his face doesn’t change from his determination. “Why?”

“We tried Jack. I tried. While I was trying you were getting text messages at three o’clock in the morning from that woman. Doesn’t take a genius to figure out your late night bootie calls. So while I’m at home asleep, with your son upstairs, you’re getting your dick wet with some whore that you promised you would never speak to again. So why should we go back to therapy? I filed for divorce. You were served. I’m done.”

He grimaces a moment before he blurts out, “I never had sex her.”

“Oh? So what were you doing?”

“Talking. That’s it.”

“Hmm, you know, I think I liked the idea of you having meaningless sex better. But I guess if you can talk to her instead of me, it wouldn’t be meaningless would it? You developed feelings for her.”

“I deserve that,” he chokes out, turning around to grab the creamer from the fridge. “I should have stopped. She works at the DA’s office, and…it was mostly business because I feel I can’t talk to you about things from work.”

“Oh my god! Jack, you’re telling me that she’s always going to be in your life? This is great. And you let her around my son.”

“You had Dean around our son.”

He slides the mug over to you, starting his own cup, but you can only angrily stare at the mug, it was the perfect shade of brown. It smelled divine, and you hated that Jack knew how to make your perfect cup of coffee. “Is this what this is about? You saw me with Dean.”

“I saw Dean groping you on a Ferris wheel. Cal had to stand in front of Finn so he would see what a disappointment…”

“Say it. I’m a disappointment? You can risk your marriage for some bitch that you’re not even fucking. And the minute that I get out and go on a date, I’m the disappointment. Which, by the way, we weren’t even together. Just because your indiscretions went unseen by Finn doesn’t mean that you’re the innocent party. I didn’t know you were going to be at the fair. And if I recall, Dean wasn’t the first one to grope me on a Ferris wheel. So is Dean your problem? Because I’m at a loss here?”

“Do you have a date with him tonight?” You snort, shaking your head no. “This weekend at all?”

“No. I’m not dating Dean. Not that it’s any of your concern. Is that all?”

“Why him? He’s Finn’s teacher, and…why him?”

“Is this because he’s Finn’s teacher or does it bother you that he was my first love?” Jack shrugs, unsure how to answer. He didn’t know if it was Dean in general that got under his skin, because who Dean was to you, or the fact he was in too close a vicinity to Finn.

“Remember when I told you I was okay? Before the arguing really started, I just shut down. Then you were gone and didn’t come home until four or five in the morning. And one time I had to take our son to the ER because his fever skyrocketed, and I couldn’t wake him up, and I couldn’t reach you? My son was so feverish he was unconscious in my arms,” Jack has to look away from you. He was ashamed that he chose someone else’s time over his family that needed him. It was the reason that he now made time to be with Finn as much as possible.

“Work, and this woman took you away from the two people you claimed to love above all else. Our son was in the hospital, and I didn’t get in touch with you until his fever dropped. He needed you. I needed you, but you were unavailable to us, because of her,” you slap your hand on the counter, getting upset at how utterly alone you felt then. How you couldn’t help but wonder what would Jack do if he were there. Instead, you watched over your baby who had finally broken his fever, and still you were alone. Comforting him, but not having the support that you needed.

“I realized something then. I realized I lost myself. I was a hairdresser. I was Jack’s wife, and I was Finn’s mom. But I wasn’t me. It became painfully clear that instead of your partner, I became your live-in maid and babysitter that would sometimes share the comfort of your embrace. Sometimes I was used as wet flesh for you. And yes, I pushed for us to have a baby because you were so good when Finn was a baby. I had all of you. I thought by having a baby I would get that back, and you stop with your tomfoolery. And you refused, so I refused to let you just fuck me. Because Jack, that’s what it was. There was none of that passion that we used to have. There was none of the kissing or the holding each other. It was the gripping and pounding every fucking time. And I couldn't bring the Jack that I love back. That’s why I needed to separate from you. I couldn’t play these draining mind games I was having with myself. You move out and came here every night. Every night we had us back, and every morning you left and I had to wake our son and get him ready for school. I always get the hard part. You get to be the fun dad. And you blamed me when I got jealous of you getting to have fun with our son.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s too late,” he shakes his head rapidly, trying to reach towards you. “It’s too late,” the two of you caught up in your emotions don’t realize that Finn had stopped beating on his drums. He places a hand on your hip, and you jerk it off. “No. I am done being the one that loved the most in our relationship. There’s nothing I wouldn’t have done for us, but I can’t do this. I won’t go back to feeling like a prisoner in our home and our relationship. I can’t do that. I need to find me.”

“Sharkie, please.”

“No! Don’t you fucking use that name with me, Jack. You lost the privilege when you chose someone else,” he tries to hug you, but you push him off of you again, “No. Stop it!”

“Mom?” Finn squeaks out, and you spin around and away from him, trying to wipe the tears off your cheeks, while Jack steps away from you. “Dad, is mom okay?”

“She’s fine, buddy. Go get your things,” not listening to his dad, he walks behind you, and gives you a big hug. Squishing his face up against your back before he goes back upstairs. You don’t even let Jack get out your name before you’re walking away from him. “Wait.”

“I’m not talking about this. You should have talked while we were in therapy. Things might be different. Have a good weekend,” you wait at the bottom of the stairs, giving Finn a big hug and kiss, watching only him as they leave. Going into your bedroom, you lay down. There was enough time to take a nap before you called Nick. You just needed a moment.

Jack is too focused on the road. Usually he made jokes with his son, or would poke at him. He does nothing. Finn looks over at his dad, and crosses his arms over his chest, “Why did you make mom cry?”

“I made her cry? Why would you say that?”

“You were in there. And she was crying,” Jack shakes his head no, looking out at the road before him. “You’re lying. You always make her cry. Every night.”

“What? Finn, no…no, your mom and I…”

“You fight.”

“Argue.”

“And it hurts her feelings. She only cries when she talks to you. I miss when you both were happy, and together. Don’t you? You came home and tucked me in. If you couldn’t we would FaceTime, and mom left smiling, still talking to you. She loves you, and you…do you love her?”

“Finn,” Jack has to stop his words, while he tries to hold the tears in his eyes. Not wanting to make this a bigger deal in front of Finn. It was a huge deal, but you both decided he didn’t need to know everything. “I love your mom very much.”

“Not like she loves you. She still sleeps in your shirts. Still sometimes sets the table and puts a plate in front of your chair. She holds a pillow when she watches TV. She doesn’t sleep. Do you do those things like she does? And if she misses you so much, why can’t you just come home? I don’t want you sleeping on the couch this Christmas.”

Jack pulls into the apartment complex and turns to look at him, “I love your mom very much.”

“Not like she loves you.”

“I just don’t show my love the same way she does,” Finn rolls his eyes, and opens up his door. Needing to get out of the car, and away from him. “Finn. Buddy stop. Why are you so upset?”

“Why did Coach Winchester ask how mom was doing? He asked if you were living back at the house. Why? He was at the fair with mom wasn’t he? Is she going to see him now? I wanna go home. I don’t want her with him. I want her with you. Take me home!” He pushes his face up against his dad’s chest, while Jack tries to think of the best way to deal with Dean.

Dean should have never involved his son in any of this. Much less allude to them dating. Jack just pets his son’s fluffy hair. “Buddy, it’s my weekend.”

“Stay in the guest bedroom. I don’t want him to be with her.”

“He’s not. He’s just majorly overstepping his boundary because he thinks he knows your mom. I’ll make sure that your mom knows, and we’ll let her take care of everything, and if he asks you anything else about your mother, I need to know, okay?” Finn gives him a pitiful nod of his head, and Jack pulls him along to the apartment.

“Uncle Cal and Uncle TJ are coming over for some pizza and beer.”

“You mean I get root beer, TJ drinks that nasty static water, and you and Cal drink beer?” Jack laughs, answering with a yep. “Can we play Mario Kart or Mario Party this time?”

“Yes, this time you get to pick out the games, movies, and snacks, okay?”

“Good because you guys suck,” Jack ruffles his son's hair, and gently pushes him into the apartment. Trying to take a deep breath and reflect on everything that was said in a short amount of time. He had already determined he was going to do whatever he could to get you back, and while everything you and Finn had told him hurt like hell, he still wasn’t ready to give up. It just made him face the reality of how he made you feel.

“Nice place you got here,” Nick says walking through the door. Looking around the living room before his eyes gaze up and down your body. “Where to my lady?”

“Maybe,” you start as his mouth attaches to your neck. His hands roam down your body, and you lead the way to the room. “Maybe let’s not make this sound so gross and…transactional.”

“Are you wanting to fuck me and that’s it? Or you wanting to date me?” You bite at your lip stopping at the door, “That’s what I thought. Listen, I’m okay with the casual hookup. A weekend long sex marathon, whatever. I’m less inclined with the dating scene. Let’s face it, you chose me to piss Jack off. And I’m okay with pissing him off, because I’d like to piss him off myself. So maybe if we can get to the foreplay so I can make you forget how you’ve officially filed for divorce and stop with this silly nonsense.”

Opening the door, Nick looks around, and then turns back to you, “This big house, and that’s the master bedroom?”

“This is the guest room.”

“Rolling out the red carpet for me, huh? What’s wrong with your actual bedroom?” Your eyes go to the floor, and you lose confidence. This was a bad idea. He had no right to be in your home. And you didn’t want another man in your bed that you shared with Jack. With his fingers, he lifts your chin up, making you look at him. “You don’t have to explain. What about the table?”

“My kid eats there.”

“The couch? Right, kid. I would suggest the stairs, but your kid walks down them,” he lifts you up, pinning you against the wall. Those skilled and sinful lips start kissing and sucking on your neck. “This wall okay?”

“Y-y-yeah.”

“When was the last time anyone made you feel good? Just you. Not you trying to get themselves off, but made you feel like the only one in the room. Fucked you so hard that you forget about all those ugly things in your brain. You become mush, and pliant. This guest room is perfect. But I’m going to enjoy softening you up on this wall.”

Every whispered word comes out raw on your neck. A warm tingly feeling courses through your veins, and your body starts moving on its own accord. Slightly running your sweltering core over Nick’s stomach. He rips at your shirt, pulling it down enough, and attaches his mouth to your shoulder. Kissing on your skin until a bruise forms on you.

Even when you try to kiss him, he pushes your face away, “I said this was about you.”

“Why?”

“You look like you need to have your brains fucked out. And if it’s good enough, do I get to stay all weekend?” His hand pushes past the elastic of your leggings moaning when he feels how slicked up you are. Pressing his finger against your bundle of nerves, still letting you hunch on him.

“You need this,” he walks you into the spare bedroom, never moving you off his body, and crawls the two of you on the bed. You start pulling down your leggings, and Nick shoves two fingers in your cunt. Slowly pumping into you before adding a third finger. “She likes being stretched, huh?” He notes as you move your hands to your tits. Tweaking your own nipples, while Nick enjoys your body’s reactions. Even in just a shirt, you were enjoying discovering your body again.

You were shaping up to be everything he always thought you were. Jack hadn’t dulled your light too much. You were sure of yourself, and what you liked. Even started slamming your body on his fingers. Holding still he lets you enjoy yourself. Using his fingers to make yourself feel good. Your juices drip into his palm, and he can’t believe his luck. You were responsive. A neglected sex goddess.

Curling his fingers, he fucks into you. Your voice sings out when he hits your special spot. Pressing down on your stomach, he starts pushing into your warmth with a heated fervor. You reach behind, and cling to the headboard, as you moan. Body lifting off the bed, as your tummy heats up. Pleasure you hadn’t felt in years builds up, and you want to hang on. Let him push you past the limits that you set for yourself. Letting Nick dominate your pussy.

Your toes curl up, and you nearly lift off the bed. Bending your back to a harsh angle as juices gush out of your body. Nick keeps going. Smirking at you when he pushes down on your stomach harder, and you scream. Gritting your teeth as you squirt once more. Trying to say thank you, but it was more of a grunt.

Removing his fingers, he lets your body settle back down, but he buries himself in between your thighs. Slurping up all your juices, and when you try and push him off because the pleasure was almost blinding, he just goes harder. Sucking your bundle of nerves into his mouth, giving it a tiny nibble as your walls start crumbling down.

Nick pulls back enough to lick up your juices. Those bright eyes smiling up at you from your cunt. Making sure that you hear every salacious sound, turning his face to the side, he wipes your slick on your thighs. Lifting up to sit on his heels, and he gives you a dopey smile. “You good? Or do you need more?”

“More!”

“What do you want, hmm?” Your eyes flick down to the tent in his pants, and you whimper. Nick was blessed, and he seemed to know exactly how to use his gifts. You were too far gone, and needed to see what else he could do. “What do you want?”

“I want you to fuck me.”

“Are you giving me permission to do whatever the fuck I want to your body.”

“With a condom.”

“Of course, safety first. Now, I know your best friend is with Jack. He came by the station for something, and said he would see him this weekend. You’re going to be all alone. What are you going to do?”

“Are you asking to stay all weekend?” He slowly unbuttons his shirt, and you gaze down at his body. He looked like he was carved from marble. He gives you a quick shrug, and looks down at your throbbing pussy. You wanted it. After today you needed it all weekend. You needed to forget. Desiring nothing more than to push away the despair that you felt deep in your chest. You felt it was truly over, and there was nothing that could save you and Jack, so why not let him give you a mindless weekend?

“I could make you my own personal fuckdoll for the weekend. Use you for my pleasure, but if you think I’m talented with my tongue, you’ve not seen anything,” his pants were undone, but he wanted you to wait.

Leaning over you, making you feel his hardened cock on your weeping cunt, he fully rips off your shirt. “There’s no need for clothes. We’ll have food delivered, and then I’ll walk away, and we forget this ever happened. I never stay long.”

“Just until Jack calls to bring Finn back. And!” He cocks up an eyebrow, waiting to see what stipulation you come up with. “You have to make me pass out.”

“Oh, darling, are you hurting that bad?” Even though you smile, it never reaches your eyes. Still hovering over your body, he starts kissing on your skin. Making a trail of bruises along your collarbone, while he rolls his hips into you. “If I make you pass out, you become my dumb baby the rest of the weekend?”

“Yes,” you whine, palming him over his pants. “Yes, you make me pass out. I’m yours all weekend.”

He sits back, and quickly reaches into his pocket, grabbing out a foil packet, and tears it with his teeth. Spitting the small part out with a puff of air. It was like watching a ballet the way he finished undressing, and rolls the condom on his long cock. Everything was so precise, and almost beautiful. You had never found the action of putting on a condom to be sexy, but he was proving you wrong.

Jerking you down to him, he spits down at your puffy and spread pussy. Rubbing on your swollen clit, before slapping it a few times, making your body jolt with excitment. In one swift motion, he pushes into your tight channel, not stopping even when he’s fully entered. Pulling back out, he starts rolling his length into you. Much too slow and steady of a pace for you at the moment, “Harder.”

“You want harder for the first time?”

“I said, harder,” you growl, grabbing ahold of his tight ass, shoving him even deeper into you. He grabs your legs and lifts them up. Putting them in the same direction as your head. Vigorously fucking into you, and you mewl out his name. The prettiest and most desperate sounds spew out of your mouth, and he goes harder. “Yeah! Yeah!”

“Oh, you’re going to be bruised and sore when this weekend is done.”

“Give it to me. And Don’t stop.”

“I won’t,” letting your legs rest on his shoulders, he grabs onto your hands on the headboard, “So you into choking? Can I choke you? Or are you going to swallow my spit?”

“Just fuck me! Ahh!” He was hitting all the right spots, even if he did talk a lot. Demanding your body, much like he demanded a room. Nick was cocky for a reason, and you couldn’t wait to find all those reasons. “I’m gonna cum.”

“I can tell. Fuck! Got me in a fucking vice grip. Go on. Let’s see how many times you cum before you pass out,” as your walls flutter around you, he removes one hand to grip to your neck. Adding a bit more pressure, until you pussy clenches down on him, and he releases you. “There’s one.”

You give Nick a dopey smile as he feasts on your cunt. He seemed to favor this the most. Running your fingers through his hairs as you bite your lip. His scratchy beard and tongue had made you raw in the best way. You had convinced Jack to keep Finn Sunday night and just take him on to school Monday easily.

And this is how you woke up. With Nick dragging your body down the soiled bed, and shoving his mouth into your worn cunt while he kneeled in the floor. He kept his promise of keeping you dumb. It was the most peaceful weekend you could remember in months.

His tongue enters into your sore pussy, while his nose stimulates your clit. You were wrecked in the best possible way. Thankful to have Mondays off, so you could enjoy this. Condom wrappers were discarded throughout the floor, and after a long nap, you knew this room needed the deepest of cleans, but right now it was just Nick drowning in your juices.

You give his damp hair a quick tug at the roots, clearly, he had already showered. Your fingers run up the back of his head, putting him as close to you as possible. His hands were fondling your tits. Pinching at your nipples when the spring in your tummy winds up. The number of times you had came this weekend was unknown. The amount of times you passed out was a mystery. But right now that sweet high runs through your body, and a bright light blinds you momentarily. Waking up only for Nick to run his tongue up your slit. Gathering all your sweet honey, and moaning with satisfaction..

“If ever you need to forget, you’ve got my number,” he smirks as he struts out of your house. You breathe harshly for a moment. Letting your body come down from your high, before closing up the room that stenched of filthy sex. Walking into your own where you grab one of Jack’s shirts, and carry it into the bathroom. You needed a soaking hot bath to ease your aching muscles, and aspirin.

You weren’t sure if now you felt better or worse. Feeling as if you crossed a line with one of Jack’s co-workers. You dip your body into the warm water slowly, groaning until your ass hits the bottom. Leaning back, and sighing. At this moment. You really didn’t care.

——

Jack watches Nick as he struts into the precinct break room. Getting unnecessarily close to him to make coffee, when Jack smells it. A mixture of your favorite shampoo, and the undeniable scent of you. He had left it on himself plenty of times to know. Nick brings the mug up to his mouth with a smirk, giving Jack a wink.

“Fowler,” Cal nods his head to get his own coffee. “How was your weekend?”

“It was rough. I stayed in the house all day, soaking wet.”

“You do a new workout?” Cal asks, grabbing out a water bottle.

“Oh, I was definitely working something out. All weekend long,” he sticks his finger in his mouth, and pulls it out with a pop. “Still taste that sweet honey on my fingers. Of course. My fingers were very busy, having them in the honey pot over and over again.”

“You son of a bitch,” Jack growls out.

“What? Is there something wrong? Did I say something?”

“That’s why she wanted Finn to stay another night?” He slams his mug in the sink, and it shatters into thousands of pieces. “You tell her how you like to brag about your sexual conquests?”

“It’s just sex. Just hot, wet, throbbing, trembling, screaming, squirting flesh,” Jack lurches towards Nick, but Cal wraps his arms around his whole body.

“Jack, he’s an asshole,” Nick chuckles as he walks out the room, and Jack attempts to push Cal off of him. “That’s not gonna work, you realize that, yes?”

“Get off me!”

“You almost punched your colleague. Jack, the divorce is in the system. She didn’t do anything wrong. If she feels the need to sleep with a loser that won’t ever walk through her door again, that’s her prerogative.”

“It’s my fault,” Cal nods his head, grimacing, “No…we got in a fight when I picked up Finn. She told me she was done.”

“Let her be done,” Jack shakes his head no, still refusing to even let that be an option. “Then let her explore this time. Maybe she needed it,” Jack looks up at Cal growling, and he backtracks. You didn’t need Nick. “If you want her, it’ll take more than telling her. It’ll take time.”

“Finn says she still sleeps in my shirts. What am I supposed to do with that? I can’t…I can’t shake the feeling this is really it.”

“You want her back? Work for it. What did you do, agree to therapy after the divorce was filed? It should have been your chance to make it work to begin with. It’ll take more than that, and you know. Expect more of these one off guys, buddy. She’s turning into a buck wild woman again, and if she’s still sleeping in your shirts, maybe she’s trying to convince herself she doesn’t love you. But you gotta work. And work hard if you want to be with her. Get ready for the ride of your life. Because that’s two men you know she’s slept with. Deal with it the best you can, but don’t give Nick what he wants. He’s been hard up on her for a long time.”

“She didn’t want me to call her Sharkie,” Jack looks down at the floor, giving the disgusting wood a few taps with his boot.

“Jack, that’s your nickname for her from your first…hell, your first time sleeping with her. That name represents the best part of your relationship. Of course she doesn’t want you to call her that. It hurts her. Now, go clean up that mess, we’ve got paperwork to do. And by we, I mean you. You need your mind busy. You’re gonna need that for a while,” Cal leaves Jack to clean up his coffee mug shards, but all he can do is picture you alone in your once shared bed, holding his pillow, and wearing his shirt. If Finn saw you like that, it was true, and that hurt him more than anything.

The reality of just how much he had hurt you was becoming stifling to him. He didn’t deserve you, and yet, he wanted to prove at least to himself that he tried. Try to be the man that you deserve. And tried with everything he could to get his family back. He had to. But he also knew Cal was right. And your dates had only just begun. And he hoped that this was the last one he knew about. Because he couldn’t handle flashes of their hands on your body, the same body that he once called his.

Masterlist

Taglist: @tis-thedamn-season @marveloustaylortot @pono-pura-vida @sstan-hoe @infatuatedjanes @missusbarnes-rogers @peaches1958 @seitmai @smile1318 @buckysteveloki-me @andydrysdalerogers @sgtjaamesbaarnes @elrw24 @alynefelippe @charmed-asylum @calirindo

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no-see-um-incorrect · 6 months

Note

hey there! i really like your actor au for yuurivoice and was wondering if I could ask a question? if you're no longer taking questions for that au feel free to ignore this but I was wondering if how long it would take Charlie and Casper to get ready, like makeup and hair wise. and if the others are jealous because of how little time it takes?

(I got ya honey💋)

(all the other parts are linked on this post ⬆️)

YV Acting AU PT4

Interviewer: Charlie and Casper. How long does it take for you two to get ready? And are any of your costars jealous about how little time it takes?

Casper: *Holding in laughter*

Charlie also holding in laughter: ………..

Charlie: ……..would you hate me if I said two minutes?

*Casper pissing their pants laughing*

Charlie: all I have to do is put my contacts in and I do that in the car so…..

Lucian: these two little shits are the only ones that don’t have to go the cosmetics department EVEN SETH HAS TO GET COSMETICALLY ROUGHED UP!

Casper: the longest time we’ve spent in the dressing room, and with make up and stuff was for the Halloween special and the school dance… and even then it wasn’t a lot of time 15 minutes maybe😆

Interviewer: next question is from @everything-redacted-and-others

Interviewer: was there ever a time when the acting was improvised?

Charlie: most of my scenes with Casper were improvised but that wasn’t on purpose. It was either A One of us forgot our lines and we just rolled with it or B Yuuri gave us this thing we call a “loose script” where the script will have a few key conversation points and lore drops for us to include, but then we just improvise the rest…but aside from that there is one thing that comes to mind

Finn: Oooo The one scene that amazed everyone on set was actually improvised by Auron

Auron: here you guys go again

Rook: at the end of your first episode 🤭

Faust: the voicemail

Charlie: favorite quote “I will personally scrub you raw and introduce you to some aromatic culture”

Faust: “thank you for your time”

Finn: “stop wasting mine”

Rook: Talk DIRTY TO ME HONEY 😏

Auron face in his hands: can you tell that I hate it?

Interviewer: this is one of the questions we didn’t get to last time from @antipasto-the-theif who is the best dressed every day of the cast

Alphonse: 😶

Faust: 😶

Alphonse: you already know what I’m gonna say

Faust: WHICH IS NOT FAIR! You were on the show first! I know everything I am from you!

Alphonse: and you somehow managed to do it better than me. Your point?

Faust: I only look this good because of your mentorship!

Finn: ………good luck getting an answer to that question

————————————————————————

This is a mini part but keep submitting questions!

#yuurivoice #yuurivoice au #Yuurivoice acting AU

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riderofblackdragons · 10 days

Text

Day 21: Role Reversal

We're almost fully caught up! I was going to switch Elijah and Freya, but then I realised that it'd be pretty much the same as canon, given that they both have very similar characteristics. So, a little swapping of Elijah and Finn, encouraged by @crimsonlyinglilly <3

This is a little standalone fic, because I don't particularly feel like expanding on it in any way. Maybe at some point in the future I might continue in this au, but it's ubnlikely at the moment.

Hope you enjoy!

Elijah was born into a happy family. It was him, and his mother, and his father, and his older sister. And they were happy, together. Sure, there was a clear preference for Freya, but he didn’t mind. He’d been only a little older than a child, it was only in hindsight that he could recognise how biased his parents had been towards their sunshine-haired child.

He was still young, only 3 years old, when his sister was taken. The lady, his aunt, claimed her as her child, as her prize, for a deal made with Elijah’s mother years beforehand.

Well, Elijah knew deals. He made deals all the time. Little ones, like an acorn for a pretty flower, or a fish’s eye for its tail in midwinter. So, he gathered up his courage, and marched up to his aunt before she left. She was grabbing his sister, holding Freya so tightly by the arm that it had to be hurting her.

“I want to make a deal,” Elijah announced to her, his voice wobbling a bit. He’d only started talking a few months ago, but he was speaking in full sentences already.

“Oh? And what deal does a child have, to make with me?” Dahlia asked, her voice mocking.

Clearly, she didn’t think much of him. Well, Elijah had learned some things. He’d heard the terms of the bargain, his mother gained the ability to have children, and Dahlia gained her sister’s firstborn, and all the firstborns after that.

“My magic,” Elijah announced proudly, ignoring the gasps of horror from his mother and sister. “You look after my sister and make sure she’s happy and stuff, and you can have all my magic!”

Dahlia looked to be considering it, although Esther and Freya both immediately started protesting. Elijah’s magic still had potential, after all, and more magic was why she was doing this. For the price of treating her niece well? It wasn’t exactly like she was going to treat her like dirt anyways.

“I agree,” Dahlia decided.

“The rules of the bargain are: You treat my sister well, and let her live a happy and healthy life, and in return, you get my magic, aside from my bargaining powers,” Elijah recited happily, holding out his hand.

Dahlia raised an eyebrow at the add-ons, but shook her nephew’s hand anyways. It was a fair deal, and it wasn’t like his “bargaining powers” would be all that much of his magic anyways. She was still getting the better deal out of this.

The magic she received through the transaction was powerful, Dahlia had to admit. Nowhere near as much as a firstborn child would have, but it wasn’t something to sniff at, either. And the child, Elijah, looked happy with the deal too, with the knowledge that his sister would be safe.

As well as the little bits of his hair he’d slipped into Dahlia’s palm with their handshake. She didn’t know what she would do with it, for now, but she decided to hang onto it until she did know. And if she never used it? Then she never used it, and it would be fine either way. Hair was a powerful tool in magic, and she wasn’t sure her nephew even knew how much power over him he’d just given her.

“Don’t try to come for her, Esther,” Dahlia warned her sister before she left. “Or I’ll come back, and I’ll take Elijah too, and little Finnbjørn as well”

“It is a boy,” Elijah whispered, although Dahlia didn’t think she’d been meant to hear it.

Had he truly not known the gender of his own sibling? True, it was unborn, but Dahlia had known Esther’s gender when their own mother was pregnant. Well, it wasn’t Dahlia’s problem. She took Freya with her, back to her home, far from her sister’s. Whatever Esther chose to tell her husband (Dahlia sneered at the thought of the man her sister had chosen over her), it wasn’t Dahlia’s problem.

Years later, Dahlia would give in to Freya’s begging, and they would create a device, a mirror, so Freya could talk to Elijah, regardless of the distance. They’d use his hair, that he’d slipped to his aunt so many years ago, to send it to him, and the two children were chattering together soon like time had not parted them.

Freya loved her aunt as her mother, definitely more than she loved Esther, and she was delighted whenever Elijah would come to the mirror to talk. He’d usually have at least one of their siblings with him, Esther having made him in charge of them, and Freya adored seeing her brothers and sister as well, even if they didn’t know her as their sister.

It was to the mirror Elijah ran, the night Henrik died, crying to Freya of what had happened. And it was them he told first, when he was turned into a vampire, of how they’d discovered their brother Niklaus’ heritage, and the ritual that would be required to break the curse Esther had him under.

And after that, once every hundred years, Freya would tap on the mirror, gaining Elijah’s attention, and he would come and find his sister and his aunt, and show them around the world for a year. What new things had happened, any updates on the world, the latest news with their family.

And at the end of it, when Elijah asked Dahlia to please not take Niklaus’ child Hope, Dahlia caved. She agreed to another deal with her nephew, this time to save his own niece, and let the child return to her family.

And when Hope was older, Dahlia died peacefully in her old age, surrounded by her family. She’d watched her niece, practically her daughter, get married, she’d watched her nephew settle down with his two werewolves, and she’d watched her grandniece enjoy life to the fullest.

And throughout it all, Dahlia found that she really couldn’t regret having taken that young boy’s deal that day.

#tvd #the vampire diaries #to #the originals #elijah mikaelson #dahlia #to dahlia #freya mikaelson #esther mikaelson #whumpay

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crimsonlyinglilly · 1 month

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Day 29 Reluctant Caretaker

Late for whumpril, but here's the last entry and day 29.

and to my surprise it's a return to Inner Child and no one is having a good time.

----

Finn hates being trapped on the wrong side of the salt, knowing that somewhere in his head Elijah was trying to fight back against her orders and his need to please her.

In Mystic Falls he had been beside her ready to sacrifice himself but that had been his choice, he very much doubts any of this was Elijah’s choice as he stood by while she prepared the spell to place him in a new body.

He still didn’t know how mother had gotten Elijah, since they had daggered him at his own request. Proof mother had gone too far leaving Elijah to prefer that torture device over whatever mother had done to his mind.

But mother hadn’t cared about that, seeing stripping Elijah of his will to use him as a puppet to get to Klaus and Rebekah a fair tool, Finn tries not to wonder too much if he would be so against it if he hadn’t seen the innocent child he brother once, hadn’t seen Elijah righteous anger at them or his desperate attempts to fight off the effects.

They all seemed to underestimate Elijah's will as it seemed Esther had also forgotten the monster she had made her son into.

It happened suddenly one moment mother had Elijah at her side, both of them smiling at them, Esther with pride and self satisfaction, while Elijah’s was empty as he echoed her words to convince them to join her plan.

Then blood spattered across the salt breaking the power, Elijah draw back stumbling away from Esther, mouth and face cover in blood.

Klaus moved before he could see to catch Esther before she could hit the floor but even as he tore his own wrist open and force it into her mouth his eyes were on Elijah, who was still standing there shaking his head to himself and trembling.

“Elijah!” Klaus called and Finn forced himself to ignore his mother dying on the floor and focus of his brother, hoping with her death the spell would break and they have the controlled calmed Elijah returned to them.

“It didn’t work” Elijah’s words shatter that hope as does the too fast way he speaks them, “it’s still to much, “ he confess tripping over as he starts to back away “i can’t- i can’t-” he keeps muttering to himself as he lands eyes glazing over in a panic.

Finn moves towards him despite part of him screaming to back away to stay away from the monster that just tore out their mother’s throat.

“Elijah.” he says carefully to not startle him as he couched in front of the other, ignoring Klaus’ warning behind him, this close he could see every hitch of Elijah’s chest as he struggled to take in the breaths he needed.

Vampires didn’t need to breathe, it was just something they did from the left over humanity, as such most didin’t in their sleep. That was something that Finn had always forgotten everytime in their early years as vampires when it came to Elijah, nights spend watch his then baby brother struggle to breath in his sleep had left their mark on him enough to lead to repeatedly waking his brother up.

Now though Elijah's failure to take in the air he didn’t need, had left him wordless as he looked to Finn with a mix of fear and pleading.

“Breath, slowly calmly” he told him and ignored his own horror and guilt as Elijah did just that, his body following Finn’s orders a clear sigh beyond Elijah’s panicked words that the spell hadn’t broken.

Klaus noticed behind them as Finn heard the warning growl.

Elijah was still bound to his orders as his mind was torn between his current self and that of a emotional child, monstrous hunger and fear, not a good mix as mother had found out.

“Finn!” Elijah gasped out wide eyes and one of his hand curled into Finn’s shirt likely trying to anchor himself “there’s no fixing this, fixing me,” Finn’s eyes caught sight of his other hand climbing to his throat remembering the stains on his shirt that was caused by Elijah’s own hands digging into his own chest “i can’t, she-” he cut his brother off with a shushing sound, catching the free hand with on of his and using his other to press his brother’s face into his shoulder ignoring the blood and danger of placing a unstable vampire that close to his neck

He doesn’t want to be doing this, he shouldn’t need to do it, Elijah shouldn’t need someone to calm him, to stop him from tearing himself apart mentally as well as physically.

His brother had learnt to hide his fears and insecurities before he had left what little childhood thay had been allowed, to have that taken from him forced back into feeling like a lost child was cruel.

And the last person who he should be forced to rely on was Finn, who had helped mother take him, and stood by as she tortured him.

He had been an absent brother in life and still hated his brothers for centuries in the box while Elijah forgot about him.

Elijah wouldn’t want him anywhere near him if he had a choice.

Finn didn’t want to do this.

But they didn’t have a choice so he swallowed his own feeling in this matter and thought back to the echo mother’s spell had summoned, the reminder of the little brother he had failed, the one that had once followed him with eager eyes, the suspicious glares of his remaining brothers before they decided to trust him.

Klaus decided to keep with that trust as Finn heard him moving behind them taking mother’s body away with him, Finn would see and speak with her once she woke up before she died again, if it was the last thing he had believed in it was she wouldn’t accept the blood.

Elijah wasn’t seven this time and in his current body there wasn’t much of a size difference but with Elijah curled up clinging to his chest as he was it wasn’t hard to shift him until he was in his lap properly and wrap his arms around him humming their old lullaby until the sharp panicked breathing settled and he was left with a sleeping brother.

#whumpril2024 #whumprilday29 #reluctant caretaker #tvd fanfiction #au- inner child #fanfiction #the originals au #the originals #elijah mikaelson #finn mikaelson #klaus mikaelson

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muertarte · 2 months

Text

TIMING: Right after this

PARTIES: @animotoph0bia @muertarte

SUMMARY: Metzli runs into an injured Finn and decides to help.

WARNINGS: None

Stupid pride. Or had it mostly been fear. For some reason, that stupid skit about never letting anyone take you to a secondary location was on repeat in his head, forcing out pained and involuntary chuckles interrupted by hissing with every other step. Finn couldn’t properly steady his limp and useless arm with the hand that felt like it was on fire, having at some point settled for somewhat leaning against the nearest wall for support.

It wasn’t really working.

Everything felt fuzzy, both his mind and his face, adrenaline starting to drain from his body and leaving only so much exhaustion and pain. Finn was sort of sure that he was heading in the direction of the hospital but honestly, maybe instinct was just leading him home - it was hard to tell. As long as he could get somewhere to lie down, far away from where he’d been in case the man with the knife decided to change his mind. Or unchange it, he supposed.

Like so many times before, Finn didn’t have cash on him and honestly, he wasn’t even sure if a taxi would stop for a guy in his state. His messed up hand was covered in someone else’s blood for fuck’s sake. He rarely put a lot of faith in humanity and tonight was not the time it would change. The sound of a car rolling to a stop had him freezing instead of filling with relief, muscles tensing and pulling at his shoulder as he turned his head, expecting to meet the sinister, blue eyed gaze once again.

Wicked’s Rest was filled with many things. Creatures, beasts, and ghosts that stalked the darkness. Being one of them, Metzli could always spot the others, but more importantly, they could find the victims of their siblings shrouded in night. This was a talent they’d had since their experience in the clan. Even without using their nose, just in sight alone, Metzli was an expert hunter, but that wasn’t the case that evening. Instead, as morality had wrapped itself around their heart the moment their sire died, the vampire offered kindness.

They chose to ignore the way their fangs ached at the smell of blood on the stranger’s hands.

“Excuse me,” Metzli swallowed, gripping their steering wheel tightly as a means to steel themself. The blood smelled so good. “What is wrong with you?” Though the question was blunt and likely to be taken badly, the vampire meant nothing by it. There was no confusion or even a judgmental tone. Just an even and dry question looking for a blatant answer. But maybe Metzli should’ve known better than to continue speaking.

“You look very bad.”

So, not the creepy guy back to finish the job. Was this person creepy? Finn wasn’t sure if his radar for it was correct at the moment, set on high alert. They didn’t feel like much but to be fair, Finn wasn’t sure he had the capacity to feel anything other than his own pain and exhaustion at the moment. Point for the ME, he noted begrudgingly. Tired eyes took in the stranger, their furrowed eyebrows, and tried to detect any hint of hostility. It wasn’t glaringly obvious but then, as this evening had made clear, he was dumb as bricks.

The question made him huff out a laugh because fucking valid, and not just because he looked like shit. “Besides the broken bones? So fucking much,” Finn answered honestly, cocking his head at the follow up statement. “And yes, I’m aware. Which is why I’m heading to the hospital. Or I think I’m heading to the hospital. Maybe home, whichever I find first.” Heaving in a breath, Finn turned from the car to continue the slow shuffle down the street, making it a total of five steps before a fresh wave of pain made his vision go black.

“Fuck,” Finn sighed, slowly but surely sliding down against the wall until he was fully sitting on the ground, cradling the useless appendage. Just a short break, then he’d get right back on track.

Clenching their jaw tightly, the vampire shut their eyes and imagined the roadmap they had memorized of the town. The direction the stranger was heading was the wrong way, and in his bloody and haggard state, Metzli wasn’t sure he was even going to make it to his home if he was wandering aimlessly. Opening their eyes, they swallowed the urge to take a greedy breath of air to calm themself, completely avoiding the scent of blood. They watched the young man’s gait turn into a hobble, his body relinquishing itself to exhaustion. There was no other choice but to help, and maintain control over their hunger while doing so.

“Boy.” They called out to the stranger, trying to get his mind to focus and stay awake as they bolted from their car. When they knelt next to him, that’s when Metzli saw just how serious the injuries were. And thanks to Regan’s many lessons on anatomy and decay, they knew how to label each one.

Lacerations, contusions, a dislocation, and…they narrowed their eyes at his hand, a bit disconcerted at the way it had swelled and appeared wrong. Someone had hurt him, the intention in such an attack plain to see by someone as experienced in fighting and injuring as Metzli was. The story could change though, couldn’t it? They could be a good person, could choose the kindness they’d always wanted to give. They didn’t have to be a monster.

They breathed deeply, “My name is Metzli and I will not hurt you.” It sounded like a promise, red eyes impossible to suppress, but genuine and kind as they softened to accompany Metzli’s statement. “Hospital is other way and I will take you, but I can,” English began to fail them, but after a short pause, Metzli managed to find their way. “Make pain less.” They gestured to the stranger’s shoulder. “Will hurt much at the beginning, but it will be less when it is in right position. Does this have sense to you?”

From somewhere, Finn found the energy to get annoyed at being called a boy, especially by someone who looked maybe a few years older than him. Annoyance was good, though - it cleared his mind just the tiniest bit. Although he was kinda hoping that the glaring red eyes were part of a pain-induced hallucination and not real. Not that it mattered, he wasn’t exactly in a state to run off.

Metzli introduced themselves and it made the blood colored irises a little less spooky. The words did imply that they could hurt him if they felt so inclined but then again, Finn felt like a kitten could end his life at this point so whatever. “Hey, Metzli. I’m Finn. You have red eyes,” he commented tiredly and yeah, maybe he was a tiny bit delirious, shut up. Assistance to the hospital did sound promising, hospitals had medication. His odds of getting there himself without perishing definitely seemed worse than letting this one armed stranger help him. “Nothing makes much sense at this point but as long as the plan isn’t chopping off my arm, go nuts,” Finn resigned, too tired to care. Not like it could hurt more than it currently did, right?

Wrong. Very wrong, and dumb - the unofficial theme of this evening. Finn wasn’t sure if what had left his mouth had even been English, some amalgamation of curses and general noises. He couldn’t even appreciate the strength of Metzli’s single arm, or the fact that they seemed to have done this before. Probably more than once. The part about it hurting a bit less hadn’t been a lie, thank fuck, but as soon as pain gave way, it only left room for more exhaustion. “Ow,” Finn groaned pitifully once black spots cleared from his vision, legs fully the consistency of jello at this point.

Finn was blunt, and it made Metzli smile, though they were sure Finn would think their face was unchanged. “You are bleeding. Blood makes my eyes turn red and fangs appear.” It was a statement they made dryly, unaware if it made the young man uncomfortable. Metzli didn’t think anything could be more uncomfortable than being covered in injuries, or microfiber, but they’ve been known to be wrong about how people feel. It came with their very unique territory.

Or so they’ve been told.

“What is wrong with having only one arm?” Furrowing their brows as they pondered, Metzli raised their half limb and waved it for a few moments. “It was torn off by someone else for punishment.” Another bland statement, but they didn’t give Finn much of an opportunity to react or respond before they moved in to adjust his shoulder. It was better that way. People didn’t flinch or lock up as badly when they were distracted, and Metzli hoped that Finn didn’t begin to leak once he was done with his outburst.

They’d never heard so many obscenities in one breath before. It was actually a bit impressive until Finn topped it off with a bland ‘ow’ and his body nearly going completely limp. “I am going to carry you now.” Metzli droned like a humanoid robot, slipping their arm around Finn and lifting him up without much struggle on their part. The problem with lifting someone nearly limp, with one arm was the lack of control either party had. But to Metzli’s surprise and relief, they managed to tumble both of them to their car, with only a few bumps into the door as they tried to open it. Thankfully, no one was around to see the struggle. Or so they hoped.

Focus.

“Can you put seatbelt on by yourself or do you need more help?”

Ah, fangs. Cool. At least this wasn’t a new kind of strange thing, just another vampire. Finn had dealt with that before, very unsuccessfully but still. And this one did really seem intent on helping. Tired eyes had managed to track the movement of Metzli’s arm - stump? Half-arm? - as they asked a question with a seemingly obvious answer. “It’s… well, then you don’t have two arms?” Finn answered dumbly, feeling like that should have explained it. He already felt physically useless most of the time with all appendages intact, there was no need to further his problems. After this evening, it almost sounded reasonable that someone had simply torn off Metzli’s arm. Witnessing what seemed like freaking organ harvesting and then a man impaling his own hand as an intimidation technique, it just sounded on par.

Metzli gave him warning but everything still spun as he was raised up from the ground. Finn did his best to be slightly more than just dead weight, although that just seemed to throw the vampire more off balance, but it was a short walk. He didn’t even mind his head knocking into the open door as he was discarded like a sack of potatoes into the back seat, breathing heavily from the exertion of doing basically nothing. “I got it, I got it,” he mumbled, feeling very childlike for a moment as he struggled to make the clasp stick. When it finally did, Finn sighed victoriously.

Even with the knowledge that a vampire, one that was clearly aware of the blood coating his hand, was driving the car, Finn did feel safe as they took off. “You didn’t have to do that,” he finally spoke, gaze settled on the blurry lights outside as they passed. “Probably shouldn’t have. Trying to help a stranger is what got me fucked up in the first place. Although you’re not a vulnerable bag of blood so maybe you got that going for you.”

“Yes, that is a factual statement.” Once again, they wiggled what was left of their arm with a curious tilt of their head. Finn was strange, and Metzli had a feeling it had nothing to do with any head injury or blood loss that he’d experienced. They couldn’t imagine what he was like on a typical day, but they were sure he wouldn’t be all that terrible to be around. Hopefully their judge of character wouldn’t suddenly steer them wrong.

Although, watching the way Finn struggled to put on his seatbelt and sighing like a tired little kid made the vampire feel more secure in their assessment.

Shrugging, Metzli circled around the car and took their seat, setting the car into drive to head toward the hospital. The smell of blood continued to entice them, but the conversation Finn attempted to start was enough of a distraction. Even with the mention of blood. Bags Metzli no longer felt comfortable stealing, but they were sure that wasn’t exactly Finn was referring to. Regardless, they shook their head and looked at the young man in their rear view mirror, a weight pulling their shoulders down. They’d done horrible things in the past, allowed people to die by acting on orders and standing idle when required. That Metzli was no more. Freedom allowed kindness to shine through, and the child of night would accept that warmth, and pass it on.

“I like being kind,” They finally said, seeing the hospital sign in the distance. In a matter of minutes, they’d arrive, and their job would be over. “I still bleed a little and it still hurts, but this does not matter to me.” Flashes of Teocaltiche and the neighboring states of Mexico made Metzli subtly wince, the pain they had once inflicted sending a spiky ball of guilt down their throat. Pain was inevitable and necessary, but tragedy set in motion was not, and they’d be damned if they ever began doing that again. Little by little, Metzli would redeem the monster they once were, giving as much of themself as they could for people that needed a little more help than others. And if Finn’s heroic behavior was an indicator, they were positive they’d see him again.

They’d offer help then, too.

“We are almost there.”

Metzli was interesting, in a good way. It helped that they didn’t seem too off-put by… well, anything, including the chaotic rambling from Finn, taking it in stride. He had a feeling he’d be hard pressed to spout anything that would insult them, accidental or not, which was nice for a change. Sure, the circumstances of this meeting preferably could have been less traumatic and bone crushing but bright side and fucking whatnot.

His line of questioning had caused an uncharacteristic lack of response, the silence turning his gaze to the back of Metzli’s head and then catching their gaze in the rearview mirror. Even in his current state, Finn could feel the empty space where there should have been a swirl of emotions, evidenced by the look in those eyes. Maybe a good thing he couldn’t feel it - this night had him feeling like a wrung out towel. The answer finally came and he smiled softly, leaning his head back. “Pretty solid answer,” he concluded. “The weirdo from the alley definitely could have used some pointers from you.”

Perking up at the update on their trip, Finn did indeed see the hospital looming in the distance, a sight he never thought he’d be happy to see. “I… I feel like I owe you. Like, it feels weird to not even pay you for the gas, not to mention there’s definitely some blood in your car now but I don’t know, maybe you don’t mind that… I don’t even have cash on me. Promise you’ll let me pay you back somehow?”

Whatever Finn was saying was drowned out. Showings of gratitude were unnecessary and futile, to say the least. With the wealth Metzli had accumulated from the criminals they’d killed and the genuine business side of their gallery, they didn’t need for much at all. If anything, they wanted to extend the kindness further, and they would. Metzli had paid hospital bills before, without batting an eye, and in Finn’s condition, they weren’t sure if his wallet had fallen out during his bloody scuffle. Not that it mattered. Having money or not, being attacked was enough trouble. Bills didn’t need to be added on top of that.

“We are here.”

They turned into the emergency room parking lot, quickly unbuckling themself and getting Finn out of the car. He could hardly walk, but his legs seemed to oblige as much as they could. As they led him to the sliding doors, which activated for a group of people shuffling indoors, Metzli swept him up and threw him over their shoulder, not considering how strange they’d appear walking in with an injured and bleeding individual. But was that really out of the ordinary for a hospital? Let alone one in Wicked’s Rest? It didn’t matter. They were at the front desk in the blink of an eye and Finn was quickly swept away on a wheelchair to be tended to, leaving Metzli to stare blankly and wave him goodbye.

Which was interrupted by a clipboard being shoved into their face for them to fill out. With a simple, “No.” The vampire slid their business card over to the nurse and uttered the word, “Bill,” before turning away and leaving.

#wickedswriting #writings #bloody ink #your uber is here #c: finn #finn and metzli

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hahnspoetrywrites · 4 months

Text

I Love You, I'm Glad I Exist (Abbey Smith (Misfits) x fem!reader)

A/N: i love abbey with my heart and soul and she deserves all the happiness in the world

Warnings: mentions of SA, violence, blood, kissing, dirtbag drunk man at the bar, jess and alex being a bit insensitive (mainly jess), please let me know if i've missed any!!!

Word Count: 4.6k (i'm so sorry it's a longer one)

AO3

Whenever you were all at the bar Abbey always sat next to you, arm wrapped behind you as you leant against her. This was usually what happened when the community service gang hung out. Rudy was usually chatting about some random woman he got with, Finn was usually pining after Jess, Jess was always after Alex the bar man, but you were happy cuddled up next to Abbey. You were never sure if she knew you’d liked her or not (heck, you weren’t even sure if she liked women) but you’d always savour this time with her. She never complained, if anything sometimes she’d pull you closer. Her hand sometimes caressed your hip, sometimes your shoulder, sometimes your arm. The second you’d all leave the bar, however, she’d leave without so much as a goodbye. It always stung, no matter how hard you tried to deny it.

Tonight had started out no differently than any other. You guys had moved to frequent your usual booth as one member ordered drinks. Abbey seemed more distant today, choosing to sit away from you on the opposite side of the booth. You took a deep breath. It doesn’t sting, it doesn't sting, you thought to yourself repeatedly. Rudy eyed you cautiously. He knew your power all too well.

You could share your emotions with people through touch and in turn, feel other people's emotions. You could sense their emotions from a distance but when you touched them, it became intense. You weren’t the best at opening up before the storm, bottling up as much as you could. But post-storm… it got so much worse. When your ex tried to touch you after weeks of avoiding it, they went flying into the kitchen table, your fear getting the best of you as they touched your cheek. Safe to say they didn’t come anywhere near you after that. You made a conscious effort to avoid touch, or any sort of attachment for that matter. The community service team somehow wormed their way into your heart, after you’d spent months avoiding as many people as possible. One member in particular had your heart, but you wouldn’t let them get too close. Your worst fear was hurting anyone else you loved, you’d lost enough people because of this power, you wouldn’t lose any more.

Only Rudy knew what your power really was. Rudy made the mistake of touching your bare arm when you were deeply upset and you accidentally sent him flying into the mirrors in the community centre’s locker room. You had to hide it, which meant suppressing your true feelings about everything. Your anger, sadness, anxiety, joy, happiness. You always hid it, the happier emotions tended to slip away but the negative ones continued to boil and bubble. You very rarely let go and released them.

Rudy shuffled up closer, accidentally brushing his arm against your bare forearm as he did so, making him shudder.

“You need to deal with all that at some point. Can’t keep bubbling it up, it’ll hurt that beautiful noggin of yours.” Rudy whispered, he always had a way with words, but this was sweet. He did truly care about you. He hated seeing you hurting in any way.

“I’ll be fine Rudy, I promise. I don’t wanna talk about it,” You tried to keep your voice level, but you struggled when you noticed Abbey staring at a guy at the bar. You didn’t want to assume because that was never fair, but she’d never spoken about women in any way that made you think she’d like them. Her eyes travelled down his entire body, taking in his figure. You felt sick to your stomach. Why did you always fall for people who would never like you back?

The drinks hitting the table pulled you away from your thoughts, Finn sitting on the other side of you. He grimaced at your facial expression before pushing a beer in front of you.

“What’s got you all miserable?” Finn asked, just as Abbey left the table, approaching the man at the bar.

“Oh. That.” Finn remarked as he took a swig from his beer.

“I don’t get why you like her so much.” Jess commented, they never really got along, but that was not your business.

“Jess, it’s true love! You can’t deny something like true love. It’s sacrilege… or at least it’s illegal.” Rudy explained, saving you from having to explain your feelings. Rudy turned to face you and winked not-so-subtly. Jess rolled her eyes. Abbey disappeared with the bloke at the bar, making your stomach tighten once more.

“It’s alright babe,” Rudy tried to comfort you but it was no use. You’d have to accept she was never going to like you. You didn’t see her for most of the night, sitting in the same spot as everyone moved around, mingling with other people, maybe even leaving with them like Abbey had. You didn’t have the energy to mingle with people, holding all your anger and sadness was starting to become unbearable.

“Now, what’s a pretty thing like you sitting here all alone?” A tall man approached your table, his smile slightly sinister as he took a seat without asking.

“I’m here with friends.” You replied swiftly, not wanting to entertain him.

“Well, I don’t see them. I think they left you, sweetheart.” His tone was condescending, giving a little smirk in your direction. You looked around for anyone in your group when your eyes landed on Rudy, who was still here and, for once, not flirting with a girl.

“Rudy!” You called, grateful he was still here. He glided over, sliding in next to you before elbowing your side gently.

“You alright, cherub?” He was drunk, you could tell. He only got more inventive with nicknames after a few.

“Who’s this cheeky chappie?” He leaned forward, extending his hand to shake the man’s.

“Jake. And you are?” He looked annoyed and you smirked internally.

“I am Rudy. The great and incredible Rudy. Here to offer and provide my services.” He shook Jake’s hand vigorously until he pulled his hand away forcefully.

“Man’s got some grip!” Rudy exclaimed before laughing wildly. You noticed out of the corner of your eye, Abbey had returned to the bar but you didn’t spare her a proper glance as she walked right past the table and over to where Jess was chatting to Alex.

“I’m gonna get a drink.” You blurted out, interrupting whatever story Rudy was telling Jake. Jake stood immediately, offering to get you a drink. You declined politely, not wanting him anywhere near you. You squeezed past Rudy and walked over to the bar, leaning against it when Abbey noticed you. She approached you warily, her clothed arm touching your bare one slightly. You yanked your arm away, making her sigh in annoyance.

“Who shoved a stick up your arse today then, huh?” Abbey remarked, rolling her eyes when you scoffed.

“I don’t have a stick up my arse, thank you very much.” You couldn’t bring yourself to look at her, feeling your stomach doing flips at an alarming speed.

“You’ve been giving me dirty looks all evening, you barely spoke to me during community service today, you don’t seem to be paying attention to me unless I’m with a guy. Not to mention you’ve barely touched any of your drinks. Rudy’s been drinking them all according to Jess. Babe, you know you can talk to me, right?” Abbey tried her best at sounding sincere but it came off as condescending.

“I’m alright, thanks for the offer though, babe. “ Your anger began radiating off of you at an alarming level. You had to leave. You pushed past Abbey and out of the bar, feeling the cold air hit your bare arms and face, your skin immediately reacting. You rounded the corner down the alley to catch your breath. You heard the bar door open and close, praying it wasn’t Abbey.

“Hey, I saw you leave… Are you okay?” It was Jake. He approached you, boxing you in against the wall of the bar. One of his hands braced the wall next to your head, the other almost touching your face.

“I-I Yeah. I just- I just need some space. Please.” You tried to remain calm but he was too close for comfort. You could feel his hot breath against your cheek as you tried to pull yourself away but he had you trapped.

“I think you owe me an apology. You weren’t very nice to me back there, you’ve been eyeing me all night, you can’t deny.” He pressed you up against the wall with his body, his thigh sliding itself between your legs. You squirmed, trying to push him off of you but you had no strength against him. You hadn’t even seen him before he sat down, you didn’t want to chat or get to know anyone.

“Stop. Stop! Get off me!” He just pushed you into the wall harder, feeling the brick wall’s harsh surface against your back.

“I don’t think so.” His hand found your hair and pulled harshly, exposing your throat for him to bite and kiss roughly. You wanted to scream, to cry, to do something but you knew you’d risk losing control if you did. As his lips touched your skin you could feel his anger, his resentment towards your unofficial rejection. His desire to overpower you. It made you want to vomit. His thigh began moving between your legs, creating unwanted friction.

“I can feel how desperate you are, god you are pathetic. Such a pathetic little whore.” He slammed his thigh against your core painfully, making you whimper. The hand bracing the wall moved down your body, moving towards the hem of your jeans. As his hands moved to undo the button, you could hear the bar door open.

“Keep quiet.” He whispered against your cheek. He attempted to kiss you but you pulled your head away violently. His hand wrapped around your throat and squeezed, making you cough.

Someone began to walk round, recognising the sound of Abbey’s boots, you prayed she’d find you.

“Babe, can we talk? I think we…” As she walked round the corner, her eyes narrowed and her nostrils flared. She was furious, and you hoped it wasn’t aimed at you.

“What the fuck?” She glared at you incredulously.

“Ab-Abbey please. Pl-please-” He squeezed tighter, making her wheeze painfully.

“I thought you were different. I really did.” Abbey continued to berate you, approaching you slowly.

“Turns out you’re a whore like the rest of us.” Abbey’s eyes held a glimmer of heartbreak, of sadness and you couldn’t hold it in. You screamed in pain when he began to touch you, the raw power of your emotions sending him flying across the pavement, landing on the floor with a painful thump. You fell to your knees as your screams died down, collapsing down into the pavement and letting the darkness take over momentarily.

You felt blinding hot pain sear through your body as you regained consciousness, making you writhe in pain as you returned to your own body. Your breathing was rapid and uneven, your eyes were clamped shut. You just exploded in front of Abbey. God, you could’ve hurt her, killed her even! Your pain was the least of your worries at that moment. You could hear grunting and groaning, someone yelling but it was distant. The blinding pain began to slowly subside, allowing you to refocus on what was going on. You slowly opened your eyes, feeling Rudy’s hand against your hair as he smiled at you.

“Abbey! She’s awake.” He called out, you tried to speak but no sounds came out apart from quiet squeaks. Abbey rushed over, the panic in her eyes evident as she came into view.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. I’m sorry that I said those things to you but you needed to blow and it was the only way I could get you to react, I’m sorry.” Abbey’s hand caressed your hair softly.

“It’s okay,” You croaked. You sat up slowly, Abbey’s hands immediately moving to guide you upwards.

“He’s only unconscious, he should be okay. You’re lucky there’s CCTV here. They can see everything.” Rudy pointed out and you nodded. You didn’t really care about CCTV at that moment. You couldn’t stop staring at where that man’s body laid unconscious. You nearly killed Abbey. You hadn’t noticed Abbey’s hand moving to hold yours, allowing her to feel what you were feeling, to know every detail of your emotions. She gasped at the intensity of everything but shared it with you, feeling your shoulders get lighter as her other hand moved to stroke your hair.

“Hey, hey… Look at me.” Abbey’s voice was calm, gentle as your eyes shifted from the unconscious body to Abbey’s familiar blueish-grey eyes.

“I’m here, babe. I’m here.” Abbey made an effort to block your vision of where he laid as Jess and Finn walked out of the bar.

“Oh fuck.” Jess’ voice was loud and brash as she observed the scene and Abbey turned to give her a disapproving look.

“So she’s the only one out of all of us who has a power actually worth having? Fuck, that’s so annoying.” Jess walked towards the unconscious man and laughed, kicking his leg to see if he’d wake up.

“Jess, shut the fuck up.” Abbey snapped.

“Yeah, Jess. Girls just been through the worst and you wanna mock her? Bit insensitive, that!” Rudy and Jess began to bicker as Abbey turned to look back at you, seeing tears gathering in your eyes. You looked down, noticing her hand which was holding yours had bloodied knuckles, the skin slowly turning purple with bruises. You couldn’t stop your tears from falling and noticed one landing on her bruised skin. The hand caressing your hair moved to wrap around your shoulders, pulling you into Abbey’s body tightly as you began to cry. You wrapped your arms around Abbey, pulling your hand out of Abbey’s to cling to her tightly. Abbey gently shushed your muffled cries as you buried your face in her chest.

“I’ve got you, baby. I’m not going anywhere, it’s alright.” You could feel her lips press against your head, featherlight as she held you close. Jess, Finn and Rudy continued to bicker, but Abbey was more worried about getting you out of here.

It was too loud for you, their arguing was hurting your head and making you cry more. Abbey could feel it, she could feel how tense and upset you were, your distress building up in her body. She was unsure how much she would feel, if it was only fragments or if it was wholly transmitted through your touch. She wouldn’t ask now, it wasn’t the right time.

“Will you let me take you home, baby?” Abbey asked, feeling you nod against her chest as one of your ears settled against her chest.

“I’m going to cover your ears. Need to tell these knobheads to shut up.” You nodded once more as her hand moved to cover your other ear. Their arguing muffled, her warm hand cupping the ear not pressed against her chest. You squeezed your eyes tightly as Abbey began yelling at the other three, but remembered you were safe in her arms.

“OI! Would you lot shut the fuck up? Your arguing isn't helping her and you’re making her feel worse,” they all fell silent, noticing you shaking in Abbey’s arms and Abbey’s own angry demeanour, “I’m going to take her home and make sure she’s okay.”

You felt her hand come away from your ear as she removed herself from you. You couldn’t stop yourself from whimpering slightly at her pulling away but she was quick to stand, offering you a hand to pull you up. As you stood, your legs were shaky but Abbey was quick to wrap an arm around your waist. Her lips found your temple as the others mumbled half hearted apologies towards you (apart from Rudy, who was genuinely sorry and worried about you).

Abbey began walking away with you close by when Rudy rushed up behind them.

“Uh… Could you, like, let me know when you get back safe please? And Abbey, don’t leave her alone tonight, yeah? She’s gonna need someone there for her and I think you’re the best one to be there,” Rudy tried to be sincere but missed the mark.

“I will, Rudy, don’t worry. I think I need to have a chat with her when we get back anyway.” Abbey smiled at you sweetly but you couldn’t bring yourself to look at her. She was probably going to reject you once you got back to your flat. Rudy handed Abbey your small bag too, making sure all your belongings were there before you both set off.

Abbey was gentle the entire walk back, her hand on your waist distracting you from any other thoughts trying to permeate your brain. It was soft but firm, her thumb stroking softly. Your flat was a 15 minute walk away from the bar you all frequented, but it felt like 2 seconds with Abbey. The moment you entered your home she let go of your waist, turning on lights and helping you remove your shoes by the doorway before removing her own. Your apartment was small. The kitchen and living room combined in one space, with a small bathroom and slightly bigger bedroom. It wasn't amazing, but it was home. Abbey admired the decorations as she guided you to your sofa, smiling at how it already felt like home to her. It felt so perfectly and completely you, it felt safe to her.

“Can I make you some tea or something?” You asked her, trying to be a good host. As Abbey sat you down, she exhaled a laugh.

“Sweetheart, don’t you worry about me. I’ll make us some tea, yeah?” Abbey’s hand cupped your cheek, pressing a soft kiss against your skin before walking to the kitchen.

She felt electrified when her lips touched your bare skin. It was warm, soft, and full of deep love. Love you’d hidden from her for far too long. As she made tea, she watched your nervous form on the sofa, noticing your foot tapping continuously against the floor. Abbey felt guilty, knowing she was mostly the cause of your distress. She’d pushed you away and messed with your feelings, being so overly affectionate and caring but never taking it any further than holding you. She never considered how that would mess with you or your feelings, but she’d never felt this way about anyone. This was all entirely new.

As she brought both your drinks back to the sofa, she realised how much her hand hurt from the punches she gave that guy. Glancing down as she settled your cups onto your coffee table, she saw how bruised her knuckles were. You couldn’t help but notice too.

“Your-your hands… you need to ice them. I think I’ve got-” Before Abbey could stop you, you’d rushed into the kitchen to find something in your freezer. You quickly grabbed a random bag of frozen vegetables from a drawer, wrapping it in the tea towel you had discarded by the sink this morning and returned to sit next to Abbey. You placed it on top of her bruised knuckles gently, feeling guilty when she grimaced at the initial contact.

“I never did thank you,” You began, avoiding eye contact with her choosing instead to stare at her hands.

“For what?” Abbey was genuinely confused, what were you thanking her for? Beating the everloving crap out of the man who tried to hurt you? You didn’t need to thank Abbey for that, she would’ve done that for you in a heartbeat, no matter who it was. No one hurts you and gets away with it.

“For- for helping me. And getting me to explode at him, I-I don’t want to think about what might’ve happened had you not-” Her free hand moved to cup your cheek, her thumb stroking softly.

“Let’s not think about that, you’re here with me. You’re safe, no one’s gonna hurt you like that ever again.” Abbey tilted your head up to look at her, your eyes darting down to her lips then back up to her eyes.

“I- I know you know. How I feel, I mean.” You needed to tell her it was okay if she didn’t want to be with you. It would hurt like hell but you would manage.

“Babe-”

“No, Abbey. It’s okay. I know you felt it… I did too. I don’t want you to feel like you have to be with me or like me in that way. Just because you know how I feel doesn’t mean you have to… y’know.” You hated this, her knowing but not feeling the same way. It stung more than you thought it would and you weren’t sure you could handle it.

“It doesn’t matter. None of it does, I don’t wanna be a burden or hold you back from being with the person you wanna be with. I’ll move on, I know I will with time. You don’t need to worry about me, you can find someone else. We don’t have to be around each other either, if it’ll make things eas-” Abbey’s lips captured your own, not wanting to hear anything else. You made a conscious effort not to touch her anywhere else, scared of overwhelming her with your emotions, but when her other hand drifted up your loose top to caress your back, your hands reached for her immediately. The frozen vegetables fell to the floor as your hands held her waist, trying your hardest to keep your emotions in line when Abbey pulled away, a few inches from your lips and whispered against them.

“Let go, baby. Let it all go,” She encouraged as she kissed you slowly, deeply, and you couldn’t help but let your emotions go. You let them wash over you and pass gently through Abbey, before they dispersed into the air. It was the first time you felt like you were in control. Abbey felt your overwhelming emotions gradually fade into something more manageable, something you could control. The hand cupping your cheek moved to take one of your hands on her waist, your lips moving in sync with each other as her tongue gently explored your mouth. Your stomach was full of butterflies, fluttering around as her mouth slowed down and moved back to more tender kisses.

“No, baby. I don’t want anyone else,” she said between kisses, “I don’t want to move on, I don’t want to see you with anyone else. I didn’t know what to do… I’d never felt this way about anyone and I was scared. Scared of getting hurt but terrified of hurting you.” Abbey confessed. You struggled to believe her, but when her hand squeezed yours tighter you could feel it. Abbey was telling the truth. Her nose brushed yours gently as she stole another kiss.

“Seems I’ve already done that though, haven’t I?” Abbey asked, melancholic with her tone.

“No, no Abbey. You didn’t hurt me, I should've been honest with you. I just wasn’t sure how to tell you… or if you even liked girls.”

Abbey pulled away a little further than before and you yearned for that close contact with her once more.

“I think I did more to hurt myself but I’m glad you know. I’m assuming you feel the same way too?” Your voice betrayed you as it quivered slightly, but Abbey once again reassured you with a small kiss.

“I never felt right with guys and not just the sex, it was everything. There was never a connection. With you, everything feels right, there’s no confusion, no doubt, no questioning it. I thought about it on the walk back, how I never felt right without you by my side at the bar, how I always felt comfortable talking to you about anything and everything at community service. I know Laura didn’t want me around but it didn’t always feel right, but you do.”

You felt more tears spring to your eyes. Abbey was so excited when Laura came around. When she found out she was her imaginary friend brought to life, she felt like she knew why she existed, she finally knew her purpose. But when Laura began to feel uncomfortable and rejected her , Abbey couldn’t understand what had happened or what she’d done wrong. Laura had created her so surely she was meant to be with her, but when Laura turned her down it made her question her existence altogether. Why was she here if she wasn’t meant to make Laura happy? Why did she exist if that wasn’t what she was made for? It hurt her more than she cared to admit and found herself asking these questions every day. Then you fell into her life. Everything made sense again. She didn’t want to let herself get hurt again but, more importantly, she didn’t want to hurt you.

“You’re the one for me, babe.” Abbey smiled, pressing one more kiss to your lips. You smiled in response but failed to stifle a yawn in the process.

“I think you need to get some rest baby, c’mon.” Abbey stood, pulling you up with her. You immediately crashed into her body, hugging her tightly as Abbey reciprocated.

“You’ll stay with me… right?” You asked, worried she’d leave you alone.

“I’m not going anywhere, I promise.” She pressed a kiss to your hair before guiding you to your bedroom.

The room was painted soft green, your bedsheets matching with a few decorative pillows and one or two squishmallows sat on top. It was clearly lived in, some clothes strewn on the floor, jewellery sat on top of a dresser covered in different products. Your bedside table was messy, a water bottle sat next to the lamp and a pile of 3 or 4 books were propped up by a fake flower pot.

“I’m sorry it’s such a mess right now,” Your face flushed as you realised you’d left your clothes in a heap on the floor after your rushed shower this morning, including your underwear.

“It’s alright, don’t worry. Let’s get into bed,” Abbey helped you shimmy out of your jeans and into your pyjama shorts, turning away as you removed your top and bra to put your sleep shirt on. Abbey then guided you to your bed, lifting the comforter up and watching you slide into your bed. Before Abbey could move away, you looked back up at her with those pleading eyes and she couldn’t resist.

“Can I borrow a shirt to sleep in?” You nodded, pointing at one of the draws on your dresser. She grabbed the first one, changing into your oversized plain black shirt. She was so beautiful and you blushed when she removed her jeans, her slender, toned legs were gorgeous. She left her underwear on before turning to face you, crawling up the bed before settling next to you. You wrapped yourself around her, feeling her featherlight lips leave kisses along your neck and jaw.

“I’m not going anywhere, I promise.” She whispered against your cheek, kissing your soft skin. As you cuddled her, you felt safe. Her scent was soft like vanilla and slightly almondy, bringing you more comfort as you settled in to sleep. Once Abbey saw your eyes gently shut, she pressed one more kiss to your temple, her lips ghosting your skin as she spoke one last sentence before you drifted.

“I love you. I’m glad I exist.”

#abbey misfits #abbey smith #abbey smith (misfits) x reader #abbey (misfits) x reader #abbey misfits x reader #natasha o'keeffe

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mindful-of-ideas · 1 year

Photo

Inspired by the song Villains by Stella Jang

We all pretend to be the heroes on the good side

But what if we're the villains on the other

A/N: You guys really love Peaky stuff, and I love writing it.

TW: Physical and verbal abuse

“Y/N!” Finn called as you turned into the alley.

“Hey,” you said as you got up to him, “What’s up?”

“Tommy gave me a special order…” he started, “And I want you to join me!”

“What does it imply exactly,” you asked, slightly worried.

You hadn’t known Finn for long, but you knew that an order from Tommy could range from spying to almost killing someone.

“Come on Y/N, can’t you just say yes without asking questions for once?”

“I just don’t like it when people get hurt, and you know that,” you retorted.

“It will be fun, just say yes.”

“I just want to make sure no one will get hurt…”

Because someone always eventually ended up getting hurt. And you couldn’t let it happen anymore, not without saying something.

You liked Finn. You liked him a lot. From the moment you met him, you knew he wasn’t like his brothers. You knew there was a softer side to him and maybe, just maybe, you could help him embrace that side. Not completely, because you grew to like his more chaotic and risk-taking side, but just enough for him to keep out of trouble. He had potential, so much wasted potential. If only he could see himself the way you saw him.

“Including us,” you added, “You can at least tell me that, can’t you?”

“Tommy was right,” he grumbled.

“What was that?” you asked.

“Tommy was right!” he said louder, “You’re probably working with the coppers!”

Your heart dropped in your chest.

How could he know? There was no way he could know. You took every precaution, followed everything your father told you. He couldn’t know your father was spying on the Peaky Blinders and it was impossible for Finn to know you were helping him.

“What? What are you saying?” you asked, trying your best to hide your concern, “What did Thomas say?”

“Like I’m gonna tell you! If you’re working with the cops, I shouldn’t even be talking to you!”

“Finn… come on, I’m not working with them, you got to believe me.“

That was true, you weren’t working per se with the cops.

“Tommy knows your dad, Y/N! Stop lying! He told me he was a spy during the war. And a bloody good one!”

“So what, my dad was a spy! What does this have to do with me? With us!”

“Wanna talk about what happened in Ireland?”

You didn’t know what to say.

“Or in London? No, uhh! You’re working for him, Y/N. You’re infiltrating criminal gangs, cause no one would suspect you, just for him to take them down. He’s using you!”

‘You’re right’ you wanted to scream, ‘My dad is using me. I never asked for any of this… and I genuinely like you…’ but you couldn’t, you wouldn’t, say that.

“Finn…” you said taking a step towards him, “I… I really like… I like spending time with you… I… I would never do anything to hurt you, you have to believe me.”

You could feel tears filling your eyes, but you couldn’t cry. Not in front of him. You blinked to chase them as anger seemed to replace sadness.

“Really, you wouldn’t hurt me? Is that why you’re doing all this?”

“Finn, your brothers are hurting people! Just last week, a man died because of them. He left behind three children. The oldest was only 8 years old! How can you stand for that?”

“I don’t…” he started.

But you cut him. Somehow, you couldn’t understand why he was angry with you. You were on the right side after all. The Peakys and he were the ones doing illegal things and hurting people at the same time.

“And how can you expect me to stand for that, to just watch you follow that same path while doing nothing! I have morals! The Peaky Blinders are tearing families apart and I can’t just watch it happen!”

“How about my family!” he screamed at you, “Have you thought about that, uh? What do you think will happen to me once you put my brothers in prison!”

“Hey, not fair! I’m not the one putting them in prison, my dad is.”

“You’re helping him, same difference. But you didn’t answer my question, what happens to me!”

You didn’t know what to say. You hadn’t really thought about this. Maybe because you didn’t expect to actually get close to Finn or maybe because you knew it would hurt less when it eventually happened if you didn’t think about it.

“I’ll get left behind, that’s what’s gonna happen. I’ll be alone. Did you think of that? What you and your dad are doing isn’t better than what we’re doing. You’re the one tearing families apart!”

He turned around to leave, but not before you could see the tears in his eyes. You ran, trying to catch up with him. He turned around swiftly.

“We all pretend to be the heroes on the good side,” he yelled, “but what if we’re the villains on the other?”

He was right. Of course. But it was too late. There was nothing you could do to change his opinion of you. Still, you could warn him.

“Finn…” you said.

He turned around and came running towards you screaming.

“You’re a traitor Y/N, that’s your deal! Your moral code only holds up for what? ‘Good people’! You can pretend to be better than me all you want but I know, I know you’re no better!”

With that he turned around again, but not before pushing you so hard that you fell flat on the ground.

“Finn!” you cried out.

He stopped walking. That was good enough. That was your last chance.

“Don’t go to the festival tomorrow, please. Or at least, don’t bring any weapons.”

“How can I trust you?” he asked.

“You can’t. But I’m begging you,” you said tears in your eyes, “please, stay safe.”

And just like that, he left.

You knew that going back to your house was nothing but bad news, but there was nowhere else you could go. You didn’t know how, but your father had learned that you had warned Finn about going to the festival. Even if you were his most useful asset, he would never trust you, not completely. He never did and you knew it already. As soon as you stepped into your house and closed the door, all hell broke loose.

You had taken a few beatings before, but nothing like that night. As soon as your dad found you, his hand was around your neck, but it wasn’t long until your head hit the ground. Everything after that was kind of a blur. The physical beating wasn’t the worst part. Being called worthless was worse than a kick in the ribs. Being called a traitor was worse than every slap in the face you received. You knew the bruises would eventually fade, but every name and insult would take longer to heal, if not forever.

You couldn’t make it to the alley the next day. Not that it mattered since Finn was probably getting his ass arrested at the festival. Unless he had listened to you, which you were starting to doubt. How could he trust you to know that he knew the truth? You wouldn’t even trust yourself in this situation.

But you managed to get out of bed without too much difficulty the next day. Your father hadn’t come back after the festival which you interpreted as a successful mission on his part. Finn and the Peaky Blinders were probably in jail, waiting to be interrogated, right now. With your father being absent, it was easier to get out of the house. You were limping badly as one of your legs was covered in bruises and just putting weight on it was painful. Your breathing wasn’t too bad considering you probably had some broken ribs. Still, it took you twice the usual time to get to the alley.

Or maybe it took longer because you didn’t really know why you were going to the alley. You tried to convince yourself it was out of habit, you and Finn had met there every day for well over two months now, but it wasn’t really working.

As you finally got to the alley, it was empty. You looked around at the street you had learned to love. It felt empty now. You didn’t feel like waiting for someone who might never show up, but you couldn’t go back to your house now. And you needed the break. Your head was throbbing and you had trouble catching your breath. You sat down beside some crate, resting your back on the wall and hiding yourself from the people walking down the street. You closed your eyes but it was useless, tears were already running done your cheeks.

“Y/N,” someone called from the end of the alley.

It was Finn.

“Y/N,” he asked again, “Are you there?”

You couldn’t bring yourself to answer him.

“I just…” he started.

You could hear him sit down on the other side of the crate.

“I just wanted to thank you for warning me… I… I chose to believe you and it paid off. We went to the festival with no weapons and your dad went all out. Huge arrest that turned out to be for nothing and now they’re all blaming him for ruining the day. And the other cops aren’t too happy. They really looked like idiots out there! So, yeah, some thanks are in order I guess…”

“No problem,” you managed to croak.

“And Y/N,” he said.

“Mmmh?”

If it had been anyone else but Finn, you would probably have passed out. It felt like someone had poured scalding hot molten metal in your head. You couldn’t even tell if you were still crying.

“I guess I also wanted to apologize,” he said getting up, though you couldn’t hear him do that, “I… I’m blaming you for hurting me, for betraying me, but for all I know that’s exactly what I did yesterday.”

‘Except he had every right to feel betrayed and to do the same in return,’ you thought, ‘There was really poor logic to what he was saying. Or maybe the headache was turning his words into nonsense’

He was making his way around the crate, unbeknownst to you.

“I’m like your only friend here… and maybe you genuinely liked me, maybe all your father did was use you. That’s what I’m choosing to believe since you basically saved my ass, all of our asses yesterday,” he said, “So, can we make peace and shake on? Y/N!”

He had finally made it to your side of the crate.

“Y/N! Holy shit! What happened!”

You opened your eyes and smiled weakly, but couldn’t stop crying. You could see him kneeling by your side.

“I’ll be okay,” you managed to say.

“Okay? Okay! No, you won’t! Y/N, you’re shaking, you can barely keep your eyes open…”

“I have some broken ribs…” you added.

“You have some… what! What happened,” he asked again. “Y/N, did he do this? Did your father do this?”

You nodded.

“And your neck, Y/N,” he said softly, taking your chin in his hand and tilting your head slightly.

You could feel his other hand hovering above your neck. It wasn’t threatening like your father’s hand has been, yet you wished he wouldn’t touch it either.

Suddenly, you felt his hand wiping down a tear from your cheek. You leaned into it. It was cold but comforting. You stayed like that until you felt like you could open your eyes again. And when you did, Finn was smiling at you. Slowly, he wrapped his arm around your shoulders and helped you get on your feet.

“Do you feel like you can walk,” he asked.

“Yeah…” you said, but after only a few steps it felt like the ground gave way under your feet.

Luckily, Finn was quick enough to catch you.

“I’ll help you, okay? I’m getting you home Y/N.”

“Home?” you asked, not sure what he was referring to.

“Yeah, home with me. I’ll explain everything to Tommy. We’ll take care of you. You won’t ever have to see your father again.”

“Thank you,” you said, resting your head on his shoulder.

“No, thank you,” you heard him whisper.

#mindful-of-ideas #peaky blinders imagine #peaky blinders #finn shelby imagine #finn shelby #song imagine #I'm so sorry I've been MIA life has been using me as a punching bag #but I survived and now I'm back

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claymorexpunisher · 1 year

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I decided to give a name to my ofc in Live Forever. Who wants to read an angsty scene between her and Dom that I wrote today? It’s messy I haven’t even started writing the actual fic yet 🤣 I just couldn’t get this scene out of my head…

Live Forever: (scene/ Vivianna x Dom argument)

“From the second we met all you’ve done is treat me like a stupid kid!” Dom shouted, jaw clenched, face burning red and angry tears brimming in his eyes.

“I’ve had to watch them have what I wanted since we all met! And I couldn’t say anything! Because what the hell was I supposed say- what was I supposed to do? Huh?! Force you to wanna be with me?!… they’re my fucking friends- they’re my family- and I’m pissed at all of them because-” He said and we were so wrapped up in our exchange that we didn’t even hear the front door opening, signaling that Finn, Rhea, and Damian had come back from the club. Or if Dom heard their arrival, it certainly didn’t stop him from releasing everything that had apparently been in his mind and in his heart for ages now.

Dom scoffed, letting out a strained laugh and shaking his head. Tears now stained his red, blotchy cheeks and I wanted to reach out. To hold him. To tell him how deeply sorry I was for not speaking up and telling him about my feelings sooner. For getting so in my head about my feelings for him.

God, I felt like the world’s biggest moron. And now I’ve hurt him.

“I’ve wanted you to just… to just love me.” He said, his jaw quivering. As soon as those words left his lips my watering eyes turned into faucets. I couldn’t breathe. I finally gave in and reached out to him. Despite how angry he was he let me hold his face in my hands. His chest heaved as did mine and I desperately held onto him and I rested my forehead against his and blinked away the tears that were beginning to blur my vision.

“I’ve wanted you to just love me, Viv... To give me even half of what you give them but I’m nothing to you. Nothing.” Dom bit out, his tone now one of pure defeat. It tore my heart to pieces and I flinched as if he struck me.

“Dom… Dom, I do love you-“ I said, my words dying on my tongue as he shook his head and moved my hands away from his face. My chest burned and I bit my lip to muffle another heartbroken sob as Dom wiped his face with one angry swipe.

“Bullshit.” He said, pointing an accusing finger at me. “The only reason you’re saying that now is because you thought I was going home with someone tonight! That’s the only reason you’re saying this now…“

In the living room, Rhea, Finn, and Damian all stared at one another as they listened to what was going down in Dom’s room. Rhea was the first to speak.

“Should we step in?” She said, eyeing her partners tentatively. Damian shook his head.

“No, I think this has been a long time coming. Let em hash it all out. If it becomes necessary, I’ll go up and try to put out the fire.” He said. His firm tone left no room for any further arguing so they all decided to let Dom and Viv have their privacy and they went to shower in their respective rooms to wash away the grime of the night.

“Its like you don’t want me to be happy. It bothered you-it pissed you off- that I got sick of following you around like a stupid puppy and begging for two seconds of your attention like always.” Dom continued to rant. and what made me feel even worse was that he was half right. Seeing him with that very beautiful girl tonight, knowing that he was quite literally charming her panties off and potentially taking her home sent a wave of panic and jealousy through me that I wasn’t quite prepared for. But it wasn’t fair to him for me to feel that way and I knew that. How could I ask for total devotion from him if I wasn’t giving even 5% of that to him?

“You’re half right...I was jealous. And that’s not a feeling I’m very accustomed to, babe.” I said finally, wiping my eyes.

That shut him up…

#wip #the judgement day x ofc wip #live forever #wwe fic wip #wwe fic #wwe fan fiction #dominik mysterio #rhea ripley #damian priest #finn bálor #dominik mysterio x ofc #the judgement day x ofc #the judgment day polyam fic #fic preview #the judgement day #wwe

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writingattemptsxx · 7 months

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Sam, Grim, and Finn in Sam’s Shop

Finn and Grim visit Sam’s shop and Sam finds them there.

—

This, and one with Cater, I’ve already written, so I’ll post that tomorrow or so after looking over it.

Just a short (like really short) bit of fluff with them

Also, I wrote this over a long period of time, so forgive any writing style changes.

(Finn’s name hasn’t been changed from Yuu yet, but it will be updated)

Walls full of anything you could imagine, and by anything, you can find ANYTHING. Despite all this, Grim was bored. Yuu wanted to check out everything he found interesting, and knowing him, that was anything shiny or colorful that caught his eye.

Grim had to follow Yuu to stay in this school. Even if he wasn’t in a dorm and was in a slightly different situation than the other students, Yuu was his only chance here. Plus Grim had developed a slight like for the kid, though he would never say that.

“My paws hurt! Henchhu-!”

“Yuu. It’s Yuu, Grim.” Just by the voice Grim recognized who interrupted him, and by Yuu’s reaction, so did he.

“SAM!” Yuu ran straight up to him and jumped into a huge hug, knocking Sam back slightly.

“Hello to you too little imp!” He had a small giggle in his voice.

“No fair! Why do you get to call him something other than his name, but I don’t?!” Unfair, if you ask Grim, completely unfair.

Sam picked up Yuu, who was cuddling deeper in the hug. He was sitting on Sam’s forearm and his arm was on Yuu’s back. “Because I’m not calling him a ‘henchhuman’. He gave Grim an annoyed look.

Grim huffed to himself, quiet enough so no one else would hear. “Like calling him an imp is much better…”

“Hey, I got something for you.” Sam removes the hand on Yuu’s back, grabbing something in his pants pocket. He opens his hand to reveal a few small pieces of rainbow hard candy. The wrapping was clear plastic with a small red logo on it.

“Candy! Thank you!” Yuu grabbed all the candy, unwrapped one, and the next second it was in his mouth. Just at the smell Grim’s mouth started watering.

Yuu held out another piece of candy, moving it until it was a bit before Sam’s face. “Mmmm.” He moved his hand slightly, bringing more attention to the rainbow in it. Grim was tempted to jump up and steal it as he almost started drooling. It smelled too good for how small it was.

“Is that for me?”

A nod came from Yuu’s head.

“Aww! Thank you, little imp!” Sam hugged Yuu, and Grim was shocked he didn’t snap him in half. Sam took the tiny rainbow, unwrapped it, then ate it and smiled at Yuu who returned the expression.

The kid grabbed the final candy, started to wiggle, and reached for the ground. Sam put Yuu back on the floor, and Grim was curious why the kid suddenly wanted to be down. Yuu loved to be carried. Then he stepped to Grim and held out a hand. There was the final candy.

“Is that mine?” Grim was confused. Usually when Sam or any of the other staff were around he went out of the picture. In the trash if the staff could help it. Yuu nodded.

“Of course it is! An offering to the Great Grim!” Grim snatched the candy, opening it and stuffing it in his mouth, as fast as the kid did. Sam stood behind Yuu scowling. Grim couldn’t help but smile at him. ‘You see that? Can’t snuff me now!’

“Hey, little imp! Why don’t we go walk around and explore? Does that sound fun?” Yuu’s eyes lit up as Grim’s smile faded. Could they not? No walking around would be fun. Sam smiled. The smile was half at Yuu and half at Grim’s smile fading. “Let’s go then!” He started to lead Yuu out and Grim begrudgingly followed. Why another walk around the school?

#fluff #twst grim #Grim #twst sam #kid yuu #twst yuu #child Yuu #writing #writing blog #finished #twst Finn #oc story #oc

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notyour-valentine · 2 years

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On the Brink of Winter ~ Tommy Shelby Angst

[Masterlist] [Taglist]

Summary: Tommy can't bring himself to join the fair and instead thinks of the summer he missed

Note: Written for the wonderful K @runnning-outof-time 2k celebration. Congratulations - I hope you have the best time with your celebration! I feel a bit bad because this is a sad one, but I hope you enjoy it anyways

All my writing is produced by an adult and created with an adult audience in mind (18/21+). You are responsible for your own media consumption. I do not consent to my work being translated, copied or posted elsewhere on this platform or any other.

Warning: Grief, mourning, mention of sickness, mention of death, mention of fighting and drinking

Wordcount: 1745 words

Tommy leaned the back of his head against the tree, feeling the bark tangle in his long black hair as soon as it touched it.

By now, his spine was aching from how long he had been sitting on the ground, without luscious green grass to cushion the roots digging into him.

This feeling was nothing new, not after countless nights he had spent sleeping under the stars, but it was the first time he didn’t mind the pain.

In fact, in a strange way he got satisfaction from every second he endured it without shifting, or getting up or stretching to relieve even the slightest bit of strain.

Undoubtedly, he’d discover a brand new collection of bruises tomorrow.

They’d look even darker now, he thought, glancing at his hands.

The pale skin was mocking him.

Usually he’d carry the tan all the way into november. He didn’t darken quickly, not like Arthur or Ada, but he didn’t burn easy like John did. After all, Tommy spent every day outside and so his skin had time to adapt to the seasons.

His hands, his neck and face - by July they’d be so dark he could almost pass for an Italian.

Not this year though.

Not this year.

Things were different this year.

Even the good old fairs.

He could see it now, see the dancing and the arguing, could smell the smoke and the scent of cooking meat over open fires, even the sweetness of beer was carried all the way to where he lingered in the shadows.

And he could hear them, the singing and laughing and joking.

It was the same, but it was different too - the men were a little too boisterous and the laughter a little too loud - warped the same way sound was warped when it carried from a distant, unknown shore.

Or maybe he had just forgotten what it was like, after all, most of the fairs were during the summer months and Tommy had not been to one.

In a way, he wasn’t even at this one, was he?

He wasn’t singing, he wasn’t dancing, he wasn’t down there drinking or getting into fights.

He was here - away from it all.

If he tried, he could imagine Polly’s laughter or even Ada’s giggle among the sea of sounds.

Arthur had come with the intention of getting drunk, finding a woman and starting a fight. Undoubtedly by now he had accomplished at least two of these things.

John was down there too, with his Martha and their two children. The eldest boy was undoubtedly trying to keep up with Finn, the way John had tried to keep up with him. Years had passed since they had been the ones running between the campfires, but he was still doing it to this day.

Chasing after me.

That had not been his intention, but they all wanted it - Freddie, Jeremiah, the boys from the factories, even the bloody Lees and Black Country Boys.

With a sigh, he picked up one of the fallen leaves and twisted it between his fingers.

It was one of the brown ones, not the reds, that had fallen prematurely.

It would be a long time before Thomas Shelby would ever choose something red.

He let his fingers brush over the dried leaf, following the lines.

In some stories they spoke of the life inside the trees and when he inspected the fallen leaf further, those thicker lines he felt under his thumb almost felt like veins, like lifelines.

When he heard the crunch, he flinched.

I must’ve pressed too hard.

But even when he removed his thumb with greatest care, he could not deny the hole he had made, a gash, that allowed the golden red glow of the flames to flicker through - showing his shame.

He had torn it and now there would be no repairing.

It wouldn’t have happened the last time he had been outside for this long, back when the meadows were filled with flowers just bursting to show their colours, when the birds chirped and the trees stood in a proud dress of green. Then he could have plucked a leaf and rolled it up without it breaking.

But that had been in spring.

And now the flowers had wilted, the birds had fled south and the trees were shedding the last memories they carried of this year.

Tommy had seen none of that, hadn’t even seen the flowers bloom and hadn’t heard the children’s laughter while spitting cherry cores down on unsuspecting passers-by.

He hadn’t felt the cooling water of a lake on his skin during a hot summer day or enjoyed the slight breeze while galloping over green plains.

It had been John, not him, who taught Finn to swim, and he had only seen the flower crowns Martha and Polly made with Ada in passing, when they were already half dried up and laying on the kitchen table.

He hadn’t seen the trees turn their blossoms to fruit, nor the people scaling their branches to pick them. Soon enough they’d all stand bare and empty, with rot and rain washing away any last traces of the spring that had once been.

It would all be gone.

Closing his eyes, he took a few deep breaths - that way he wouldn’t scream and draw attention to himself.

By the time he dared to open them again, the sun had set completely, and the only light was coming from the silver moon and the red fires.

And the only warmth too.

His legs had gone stiff by now, and his fingers ached.

Down there, the fires and the drink and the people would warm him up - or at least the voice in his head that sounded like Polly tried to convince him.

But Tommy was tired, tired of the noise and the pitiful glances and the meaningless words.

He was tired of all of that, the same he was tired of the pain and the anger inside of him while nothing from the outside made him feel anything at all anymore.

No smells, sounds, tastes or touches - nothing could ever get through the icy cold pitch black darkness inside of him.

With a sigh, he watched the black shaped figures dance together.

Hand in hand.

Arm in arm.

Down there, they celebrated about a dozen marriages, if not two, all in a rush, all hasty and unplanned, with little thought put into it apart from the one: to get married before it was time for the men to leave.

They all wanted something to come home to while all the girls were scared of missing out, meaning both feared that if they didn’t do it now, they wouldn’t get a chance too.

It was ironic really, the way all these people hardly planned anything while they had it all laid out.

They had talked of it, because somehow making plans for the unknown future was easier than revisiting memories from before.

It had even become a joke between them, the kind one clung to in the night to keep the fear at bay and in a way, it had carried a little bit of hope too.

They’d talk about where they would get married, even argued back and forth a little bit, bickering as if they had already been wedded for a few decades. They talked about what he would wear - she had insisted on a proper Italian suit, not just for him but all his groomsmen too. Even little Finn.

And they of course, would get boutonnieres to match her bouquet, and the flower crown she would wear over her mother’s veil.

They talked about the music and the food they would serve after, about their first dance and even where they would go on their honeymoon weekend. He would have had to save up for that.

The only thing they had not talked about was the dress, after all, she had insisted time and time again, the groom was not supposed to see that before the wedding.

Only Tommy had seen it.

It wasn’t a proper wedding dress, not really, but he had seen the white lace with the high collar, and hadn’t failed to notice how it was a little wide even after her mother and sister had pinned it to fit better.

They had buried her in it after all.

By that time seeing a piece of cloth without droplets of crimson on it had become a strange sight to him.

His hands closed around a fistful of leaves each and the sounds of them turning to dust in his grip eased the desire he had to pound the ground until the skin over his knuckles split.

Perhaps he really should go down there, even if he didn’t belong.

It wouldn’t be too difficult to find a woman, even one with soft hands and dark hair. He could find one and kiss one only to stop the words from escaping her lips that would spoil his fantasy.

After all, Tommy hadn't kissed anyone for months.

She had forbidden him from kissing her so that he wouldn't get infected and so all they had were kisses to her forehead, cheek and hand.

Perhaps kissing someone would make him feel something, anything, and even if it wouldn’t change anything inside of him, he could drown himself in the warmth of their body. Warm, not hot like her skin had become towards the end, and not cold as her hand had grown in the night after.

Just warm and soft.

Or he could go down there and start a fight until his blood boiled and the fire of it would get to his head - that would warm him up better than any drink ever could.

Because right now he felt desperately cold.

He scoffed and looked down once more.

In the night, all leaves were equally dark and he had no way of telling if they were brown or treacherously red.

They all sounded the same too and it betrayed them, but it betrayed him too.

They were all dry and lifeless and dead. Just like he felt.

Tommy sighed once more.

Perhaps he really should go down there, get drunk, find a woman or start a fight.

This was the last chance, wasn’t it?

This time next week they’d all have their hair shorn and their jackets fitted, well into their training before it would be time to leave.

Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed and as always I'd love to hear your thoughts!

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@lilyrachelcassidy @jyessaminereads @chlorrox @watercolorskyy @books-livre @quarterpastmidnight @lilyevanswhore @polishcrazyone @zablife @just-a-harmless-patato @stevie75 @flyingjosephine-blog @runnning-outof-time @cillmequick @babayaga67

Tommy

@knowledgefulbutterfly @babayaga67 @signorellisantichrist @lespendy @geeksareunique @look-at-the-soul

#valentineswritings #on the brink of winter #tommy shelby #greta jurossi #thomas shelby x greta jurossi #tommy shelby x greta jurossi #tommy Shelby angst #thomas shelby #peaky blinders #peaky blinders imagine #tommy Shelby imagine #thomas Shelby imagine #root2kfollowercelebration

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