#but his autistic coding is striking

[juminies]

the way that most of the rfa do not see jumin as immediately caring has always taken me by surprise, because (to me at least) it's always been one of his most noticeable qualities. even outside of his good end or outside of his route all together he is caring down to the bone, and makes a pretty frequent effort to check in on people – especially when he's aware they might be under any sort of immediate personal stress. I think the problem lies in a combination of his low empathy and his tendency to overlook or misunderstand peoples' feelings/intentions when they aren't expressed to him directly. he's overly logical by nature (and he had to be in the environment he grew up in) and it can make him seem cruel to those who aren't used to his style of communication. however, it's particularly frustrating when you consider that everyone in the rfa is very aware that he strongly values honesty and straightforwardness. they tend to act as though he should just know to pick up on their implications, then call him inconsiderate when he doesn't, while making no effort to grasp that he just thinks and understands differently to them. and while I get where they're coming from in part, because jumin does navigate the world in a very different and possibly confusing way, there's no justification to constantly calling him an emotionless robot

#jumin han #mystic messenger #don't get me wrong I truly love them all 💔💔 #just an observation #I'm appreciative of jihyun in the sense that he seems to understand jumin a lot and tends to stick up for him when it comes to these things #I suppose it's to be expected when they've known each other so long #someone could always say jumin makes no effort to pick up on the rfa's implications/social cues either #but it's really not something that can be easily learned especially in adulthood when you've always been distant from it #anyway. I fear this turned into a bit of a 'real life autism moment' post #but his autistic coding is striking

[kouyou-arc-when]

ON DAZAI AND EMPATHY: A character study Before you read: Obviously diagnosing any character in fiction seriously is a fool’s errand, but I am a fool, so let’s just do this for amusement. The main thing I desire is to discuss is the extent to which Dazai is capable of various types of empathy, as well as how that influences the way he sees and interacts with others. It will be chaotic and all over the place because I just sat down and wrote this in a fit. Let me explain some factors in analyzing Osamu: The author's intention is clearly to make Dazai's internal world a mystery. Since we don't have enough information, all we can do is hypothesize based on external elements. Generally, across all novels, the only time we’ve seen anything of Dazai’s perspective is in “The Day I picked up Dazai” (Beast continuity) – where he “saves” Oda and tortures that random dude. We don’t hear his thoughts narrated from first-person perspective, unlike many of the other novels.

Now, the crux of the issue. For years, it’s been discussed whether Dazai is a “sociopath”. If we disregard that sociopathy is a very loaded term that can mean a lot of things depending on which specialist you consult, at the very least, Dazai does strike me as someone with a unique expression of empathy, who could qualify for Anti-social personality disorder or a related condition. I will abandon the idea that Dazai is a sociopath, and use actual concepts that have legitimacy within this post. Whether Dazai could qualify for ASPD or any other disorder is something I've seen discussed for many years within the fandom. I'll try to analyze how these concepts could apply to him. In regards to mental health and Kafka (since it is a contentious matter) and the validity of any of this: I understand that a lot of people are resistant to the idea that any of the characters could have conditions more complex than depression, anxiety, and PTSD. This is my counterpoint. I have noticed that Asagiri emulates a lot of characteristics commonly attributed to “geniuses”, without confirming or potentially even intending to write these characters as having a specific condition.

A great example is Ranpo – who will read as autistic to any decent mental health professional (Untold Origins). Did Asagiri intentionally sit down and say “I am going to write an autistic character”? Maybe not. However, the “genius” stereotype is profoundly connected to visions of autism, even if people aren’t aware of it. Take people like Sherlock, House and L from Death Note – they’re commonly believed to be autistic by fans. All of these characters borrow from the same group of traits, that just happens to correspond with a certain condition - savants have always been popular in fiction. It's been known that the favorite type of character for Asagiri is the “prodigy” type, and he has used geniuses across fiction for inspiration of most notable intelligent characters within BSD. For Ranpo it was Sherlock, for Fyodor it was Joker from the Dark Knight (a classic sociopath), for Dazai it was Patrick from The Mentalist.

What I’m trying to say is, you can see various personality disorders connected to the portrayal of these geniuses, and even without confirming their state, it is clear they are either intentionally or unintentionally coded to be that way. Extremely intelligent characters not being able to read social cues, lacking empathy, disregarding rules etc. is something we commonly see in fiction. Basically, a lot of people don’t even know that these stereotypes are based on certain personality types, disorders, and illnesses. It’s sort of like drawing a character and dyeing their hair a certain shade of blue that you don’t know the particular name of: it doesn’t change the fact that you used that color, and the fact it has a name. Most authors are not mental health experts anyways, so they may not be entirely aware of every detail of the psychological framework they write the character to possess. They also may not write it consistently, as they're mostly emulating stereotypes. I mention Ranpo and autism because a character can embody traits of a stereotype without the author even necessarily having the intention to do so, however, to anyone who knows a thing or two, it is clear Ranpo is on the spectrum. If Ranpo were to express a few traits that go against this, it would not necessarily take away from the large-scale portrayal he is meant to exude: an autistic coded genius.

Why am I saying this? It is entirely possible for the author to write Dazai as a person with anti-social personality disorder, to “code” him in that way, but to not be entirely aware of how an individual with ASPD realistically tends to act.  Because he may be emulating a certain "stereotype" of a genius, he may also end up emulating specific psychological states, without making them entirely consistent in a realistic way. Writing the way individuals with ASPD tend to deal with empathy can be extremely difficult for anyone. It's easy to emulate a sociopath on a superficial level, but beyond that, it gets more challenging. How would a person with limited empathy act when they're hurting someone? That is an easier idea to handle. But how will they act in a friendly relationship? This is where it gets tricky. That is likely why someone like Dazai can never be consistently compatible with a very specific disorder: but, he can come very close. Besides, concepts such as anxiety and depression are pretty well-known, but more niche mental health conditions are not as well understood. So, BSD Osamu was written with specific attention to mental health issues because the author himself was someone who spoke heavily on the topic. I’ve read a lot of real-life Dazai Osamu, with special attention to No Longer Human (the main inspiration for BSD Dazai was Yozo) – and neither RL Dazai nor Yozo gave me the impression they could qualify for ASPD at all.

I know BSD Dazai is the opposite of the RL author in so many ways, but I guess it’s relevant to mention this because we know so little of BSD Dazai’s internal working processes, and Asagiri's main inspiration can tell us a lot about the intentions behind Dazai's portrayal. Generally, an intention or idea behind a character can give a lot of clues to us - more than anything, I am under the impression some of the main ideas behind Dazai's creation was that: 1) He doesn't feel like he belongs among humans 2) He has mental health issues However, we have difficulty defining the exact source of why all of this is in more realistic terms.

Naturally, since Dazai, an extremely socially intelligent person, sees himself as "othered", it is logical to assume he is not capable of fulfilling some emotional function most people can in a successful enough way. If he were just mentally ill in more typical ways (only depression), I theorize he wouldn't feel that "othered". He specifically is not meant to feel human. Obviously, his extreme intelligence is one of the things that isolates him, but the question is what else?

We are led to believe Dazai "sees" something the rest of us don't, and that is one of the reasons he wants to die. However, there is something more to it, as I believe it to be. We have two characters who are as intelligent as Dazai: Fyodor and Ranpo, and neither of them is suicidal, as far as we know. I believe Dazai "feels" a certain way, and then finds a way to logically justify it. Due to his intelligence, he likely falls into a complex loop which leads him to existential nihilism: but you usually don't end up in a place like that if you tend to feel alright in the first place, regardless of how smart you may be. While Dazai is certainly isolated due to his extreme intelligence, most of the people who made an impact on him are nowhere near him in that respect. In fact, I'd argue Dazai isn't even looking for someone equally intelligent to him, unlike Fyodor (this would take another post to explain).

The man who means the world to him, Oda, is more emotionally intelligent and full of common sense, but definitely not his cognitive equal. You can tell a lot about a person depending on what they value: and due to this I believe that Dazai's main issues relate to emotional matters. He primarily feels isolated due to his emotional state, and his intelligence pushes the problem further. Otherwise, he would treasure people like Ranpo and Fyodor over guys like Oda and Atsushi: he's looking for something to ease his emotional pain. Dazai doesn't seek out raw intellectual stimulation as much as comfort/excitement. This post will be an analysis of how Dazai compares to the "average" psychologically and some of the reasons he may feel so othered. Basically, my theory is that the feeling of being "othered" comes from his emotional profile, as much as it comes from his intellectual capacity. Those two take equal parts in his psyche.

Why would Dazai feel so emotionally "othered"? I believe it may have to deal with a specific personality disorder or condition, and mainly how he experiences empathy. One of the possibilities is ASPD. Anyways, let’s look into common ASPD symptoms, and then we'll look into common behavioral patterns the character shows. Dazai is equal amounts portrayed seriously and in a “jokey” way, but his worst traits and moments are usually described without humor. To preface: Keep in mind that you can have any or all of these traits without it qualifying you for a certain disorder. It is the extent to which you show it that makes a person, like Dazai, out of the norm.

1. Repeatedly breaking the law: This one goes without saying, he was in the Mob as Young as 15, and seemingly a violent criminal even before that age. To differentiate him from other members of the Mafia, it is stated by tons of people throughout the story that Dazai was practically born for this job.

Oda in Dark Era:

He was openly murderous before the age of 15, according to both The Day I picked up Dazai and Fifteen:

Dazai and Oda interacting in TDIPUD When talking to Kyouka, it seems that he has an “interesting relationship” with murder as a whole:

One thing is for sure, Dazai is much calmer, calculated, and more Machiavellian than most criminals in BSD, and this all started at an extremely young age. Many people kill when they're young, but they're not this casual about it.  The age at which he was this cold about would be of diagnostic significance.

2. Lack of remorse: Everything mentioned above, it is clear that Dazai has an even more complicated relationship with guilt and empathy. I’m pretty sure anyone in real life would consider him out of the norm, as it’s explicitly stated Dazai doesn’t feel remorse for all sorts of things he does, but there are some hints he is either ashamed of the way he is, or regrets his nature, but accepts it. What is particularly significant here is how young Dazai is when he shows a marked level of these traits. A key event that stuck with me is from the Dragon Head event in Mayoi (from my understanding it was written by Asagiri), where Shibusawa mentions Dazai will regret something (to me it sounded like he meant that killing Shibusawa will end poorly for Osamu). However, Dazai’s reaction was interesting – it was like he was almost amused that anyone would believe Dazai “could” feel regret for anything.

Mayoi Later down the timeline it’s quite questionable whether Dazai feels regret for some of his actions because he hides his feelings like a snake hides its legs, but there are implications he is somewhat remorseful if you read between the lines. More on that later. Dazai has changed compared to his past self, but to talk about that, and the extent to which he has changed would take a whole other post.

More on his lack of remorse, In “The Heartless Cur” Dazai is very young when he gets some randos from the Mafia killed in front of Akutagawa, yet his main emotions are amusement and boredom. This is not the “typical” emotional range of most people, even practiced criminals. For example, Chuuya kills people just like Dazai, but his reactions to it are entirely different.  

from The Heartless Cur Murder tends to not be the preferred or first solution Chuuya goes for: there is an expected amount of hesitance if you read into Chuuya. He put a bomb below Chuuya’s and sabotaged Ango’s car without much bother. I’d say even if you do see It as a “means to an end”, the way he did it was really cold. Usually, when people of all kinds do bad things, they have remorse and empathy they need to suppress, but with Dazai we don't see much of that. It's like he can just "do it'. He’s also really great at torture, in Side B at age 15-16, he already describes himself as a “specialist”. This is also touched upon when he speaks to Kouyou:

No matter how "grey" a character is, torture is a very specific process that takes a particular psychological profile to pull off. To be a "specialist" at it, you definitely need to possess dented empathy. Lack of remorse and empathy does not mean a person is going to be a criminal at all - it simply opens the opportunity that they may get lost in those waters more easily compared to the average person.

3. Repeatedly being deceitful I’m pretty sure we don’t have to cover this one. Yozo, the character he was loosely based on, is a big liar, and commonly uses “clowning” to distract from his real personality. Even the real Dazai Osamu wrote extensively about the concept of “lying”.   There is a lot to talk about Dazai and “masking”, and I’ll get to that in the second half of the post. Generally, Dazai lies a lot, one can’t even be sure what his personality really is. He lies by omission, manipulates, and intentionally deceives people without any issues. There are so many quotes about this that I’d probably reach the image limit right there if I wanted to reference them all. 4. Being impulsive or incapable of planning ahead Does not apply

5. Has difficulty sustaining long-term relationships: Dazai is famously a hoe. From “All women are his type” (and it seems he has zero issues getting together with any woman, young, old or even taken) to being known as “the enemy of all women” (said by Chuuya), it’s clear he is very promiscuous. Wan is in the gray area of canon, but in one of the earlier chapters he has so many love letters by different women that Atsushi burns them all. Kunikida said he hits on any woman he sees in the Entrance exam novel, which is further supported by random Wan! Chapters, silly crossovers, and everything else (literally anything female).

Not only that, but Dazai sounds like a consistently manipulative and toxic romantic partner. In an Otomedia interview, written by Asagiri, Dazai’s real type was basically something like: “Any woman is fine, because he is confident he can shape her to suit his tastes” which shows a remarkable lack of care for the personhood and individuality of his partner.

When answered what he’d do if his partner cheated or betrayed him, his answer was even more concerning. Depending on the translation, it goes something like: “He has not been cheated on, but he has cheated on others” or “he set up women to cheat on him/betray him” where both are a lot, just in different ways.

Either he is compulsively unfaithful, putting all above together, or he plays mindgames with his partners. He’s also told Kunikida that: “And from my experience, it takes only a smile and some kindness to get a woman swooning over you when she's fallen on hard times” painting an image of someone who takes advantage of people’s weaknesses to get what he wants.

Regardless, it’s clear he is very manipulative and likely emotionally abusive. I won’t even touch upon his obsession with double suicide. There’s also the fact that he seems to use sex to get what he wants – insert scene where he fucks the nurse to get his phone back.

Other than that, Dazai appears to be rather solitary. Ango and Oda are said to be “the only ones close to him” because they respected said loneliness. Even in ADA, Dazai seems to be professionally close to people, but very few people seem to know him on a personal level. I’d say he keeps people at a distance intentionally – before it was violently, later it is by being avoidant. For as much of a womanizer he is, there was that early comic where he spent Valentine’s Day drinking at Lupin “with Oda”, instead of going out with any particular person. I think this demonstrates how emotionally distant he is from all the people he interacts with

6. Being irritable and aggressive:

Dazai is not particularly aggressive, nor irritable, but he has moments where he slips. Tbh, reading back, it says a lot about Dazai’s character who he gets angry at and why. It’s important to say that when Higuchi calls him out on “Hollowing out the hearts of his opponents” in incredibly brutal ways, Dazai replies that he thinks “Sadism is just a method, and how it’s boring”.

Akutagawa is the receiver of a lot of his violence to a disproportionate degree. He beats up Akutagawa beyond what could ever be “just training”. There’s something that ticks him off about Akutagawa, which is interesting, since Dazai tends to not react this way to anyone who doesn’t touch him “intimately” in some way. A lot of people justify Dazai’s physical abuse by saying it is “training”, but it stood out to me how he kicks Akutagawa in the stomach even the first time he meets him in “Beast”, when Akutagawa is just an extremely traumatized and deprived kid he refuses to recruit. There is not much utility to that kick, to me. It felt personal.

Another example of him expressing anger is when people “called him foolish for wanting to die” – clearly he did not take it well since all of those people ended up dead. This is from “The Day I picked up Dazai” when Oda tells him he is a fool for wanting to die.

Other times Dazai expressed rage was in relation to Ango and Oda, particularly anything that related to Oda’s wellbeing.

He snaps at his subordinates when they tell him he shouldn’t be friends with someone “of such low status”, and the only time we really hear Dazai say he hates someone is when he’s torturing one of the guys who put Oda in trouble in the Beast timeline of “The day I picked up Dazai”. Obviously, he is resentful towards Ango and incapable of forgiving him. “Dead Apple” guidebook touches on it.

“Though they were once good buddies who used to drink together, to Dazai, Ango is one of the persons who caused the death of Odasaku. He still holds that resentment up to now, and is unable to forgive. Ango also seems to feel Dazai’s silent wrath towards him.”

Harukawa has said to pay attention to how cloudy the eyes of a character are to accurately interpret their psychological state. I don't think there are many times Dazai's eyes are drawn in such an extreme way - there is no "light" she talks about here. His eyes are pure black when he talks to Mori during the Guild arc.

He also agrees with Fyodor on “Malice being the best fruit that God Bestowed upon Mankind”

There is also this with Jouno:

Basically, Dazai rarely gets angry, insults don’t work on him (as he tells Chuuya), nor does beating him up, but when he does get irritated he flies off the handle and has no issue crossing any normal boundaries.

That detail is what stands out to me – usually, people have a line they won’t cross when getting mad, but for Dazai it’s like most moral lines disappear. Imo, his anger is for social standards over disproportionate in how far he’ll go and how he'll act on it– he usually has a clear intention to harm the individual he's mad about. In comparison, Chuuya is someone who gets angry more than Dazai, but Chuuya clearly has a line he won’t cross. There is also no pointed sadism in his reactions. Dazai will likely do almost anything.

Basically, it's not how much Dazai gets angry, but the way he gets mad that sticks out to me. Most importantly, Dazai only ever gets enraged if it concerns something very personal and intimate: Oda and his death, his suicide attempts etc. At this point, for me, It’s safe to say that if Dazai gets extremely angry, it means the topic affects him on a deep level (a hint to whatever Is happening between him and Akutagawa, I could talk a lot about that). 

More on Dazai’s unpredictable and violent nature:

Stormbringer I think there is a valid argument in seeing Dazai’s aggression as just a tool he uses to keep others at bay, something to hold over people and control them – but even then, it shows a marked disinterest in social norms people usually respect.

7.Having a reckless disregard for their safety or the safety of others This one builds upon all the others. However, it’s always been interesting to me how it’s clear something flies over Dazai’s head when it comes to regularly empathizing with others.

This is often seen with Chuuya. In my opinion, most of the bullying Dazai gives Chuuya is not motivated out of rage, but rather some form of spite. He goes at length to Rimbaud about planning Chuuya’s murder in “15”, then he also lets Chuuya be tortured in “Stormbringer”.

I am under the impression he sees these moments as “amusing” and doesn’t fully emotionally understand why this is something bad, even if he does on a rational level. I’ll say that Dazai did seem to show some rage whenever anyone hurt him physically in the past (seems likely to be a hint to a traumatic past), which Chuuya did when they met, but I don’t get the impression he is generally angry with Chuuya, it’s more like he just enjoys fucking with him. Ironically, for how rarely Dazai gets angry, it seems he reserves his rage/irritation exclusively for people and things he cares about, so Dazai being specifically irritated at Chuuya is just a sign of how much the guy gets to him.

If Dazai were angry at Chuuya, it is in character that he would try to hurt him a lot more than he does. However, I'd say Dazai has a blurry space for what's ok between "keeping someone purely safe" and "deeply hurting them". There is some lack of emotional empathy there - to him, it is more amusing than anything to see someone he finds interesting struggle.

Dazai sees boundaries differently. He’ll put people into danger or through discomfort without worrying much, especially if he’s sure they’re going to walk and live after it, but sometimes not even that. (there’s so many examples of it). I’d say it’s not that Dazai doesn’t care, he just cares about people differently compared to what we’re used to socially.

Regarding personal safety, it’s pretty obvious: he’s a suicide maniac, but even more, he also puts himself in harm’s way all the time without any anxiety present. Examples are when he provokes that sniper in Dark Era (when Oda gets angry at him and wants to punch him), knows he is going to get shot by Fyodor, but lets himself get hurt anyway. When he “dies” in 55 minutes, he seems “lightly” surprised, but there’s no strong reaction to it.  To me, it seems that the only physical harm he dislikes is pain he suffers from another person (when he doesn’t plan it). Dazai apparently doesn’t feel much “anxiety” – I remember many different times when he comments on another character’s timidness or meekness, seeing it as something unusual.

8. Behave irresponsibly and show disregard for normal social behaviour He’s extremely eccentric, and even Ranpo says he doesn’t get him. Dazai asks women to commit suicide the moment he meets them, and often attempts suicide around people even if it distresses them (Entrance exam).

While I think he made this excuse in Dark Era to Taneda because he didn’t want to work with Ango, I do believe he believes what he said: “You’d lose your job if I did that.” Dazai wryly smirked. “I don’t like places with lots of rules.” Not being able to accept conventional rules is very often a telltale sign of a personality disorder. Clearly, Dazai fits many of the criteria necessary for having ASPD, so let’s look at some other details that are common for people with ASPD.

Masking: In psychology and sociology, masking is the process in which an individual camouflages their natural personality or behavior to conform to social pressures. Masking is common with many disorders, such as autism, ASPD etc. I am pretty sure it’s canon Dazai masks – on a BSD exhibit, the key element Asagiri wanted to talk about in Dazai’s personality was related to this.  

“When I describe Dazai to the staff, there is a phrase that I always use, “an unworldly being with a mental age of two thousand years.” Dazai has far surpassed the mental dimension that human can reach, thus no-one can even tell if the emotions he shows are the real things or not.

There are rare moments when that Dazai shows his very “human” side. That is when he talks to another superhuman who is on the same level with him. The other is when he talks about his old friend who has passed. This is the scene when Kyouka wondered “Maybe I’m, after all, just a murderer at heart.” and refused to be saved. And Dazai’s reaction to that. When he said “Don’t give me any of that!” here, he really meant it. That was an outburst from Dazai, as a 22-year-old boy, in this scene.” Light novels often describe his smile as fake, mask-like, and I could probably find 20 panels where Harukawa clearly drew him to intentionally seem like a fake smiler. From “15” to “Entrance exam”, Dazai often drops his mask, and then goes back to acting silly just to make the other person relax. He does this with everyone, Mori, Kunikida, Atsushi, etc. Chuuya also mentions that Dazai’s “happy-go-lucky” personality in ADA is something new, and he believes it doesn’t fit him.

Kunikida says this in the Entrance Exam: "For someone so full of eccentricities, there is something about his behavior that makes it seem as if he has an unobstructed view of the world. I don’t know exactly why, but all his emotions strike me as an act to some degree. Is he just playing dumb? Could there be more to him than he’s letting on, lurking behind his ambiguous mannerisms?"

More than anything, Dazai himself says that Oda was the person closest to seeing his “real” personality. That pretty much confirms he keeps his real self hidden away. I’d say that there are several possibilities to why this is: He hides it because he dislikes being vulnerable, he doesn’t know how to act “normal”, people are unable to understand him, so masking makes it easier for him to communicate with others…there’s a lot of theorizing I could do here.

Dazai also tends to have interesting thoughts about personalities as a concept.

You’ll commonly see Dazai say something serious, followed by a severe reaction of the other character, ending with Dazai changing his demeanor and saying “just kidding” to lighten the air.

Manipulation: Dazai is extremely Machiavellian – he is prone to manipulating everyone around him, regardless of how much they care about him or not. He manipulated Chuuya into joining the mafia, he does the same with Akutagawa even today: Here we have him preying on Aku's insecurities to sabotage his self-confidence

He seems to be able to cut off his emotions from any situation, seeing people in a raw, factual sense.

There are several moments throughout the novels where Dazai talks about people as if they’re purely resources or pawns. An example of this in Dead Apple (where Chuuya gets angry because he doesn't respect people or show enough sympathy)

The way he speaks of Atsushi, when asked what he thinks of him in a guidebook, is something like “developing as expected”. Especially in the original, it sounds extremely factual, mechanical, and cold. To me, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about Atsushi, he’s just the type to compartmentalize his emotions in opposition to his thinking. This is very common for a few personality disorders and mental health conditions: the capacity to totally cut off your emotions from the equation.  Obviously, many people are capable of doing this to one extent or another, but the amount to which he does it is what makes it significant.

Lack of traditional empathy: Personally, I think everything comes down to this. Dazai's experiences with empathy are one of the main themes of his character arc. I believe one of the things that makes him feel othered is his lack of emotional empathy.

People with ASPD tend to have issues experiencing what a lot of people consider “typical” empathy – however, ASPD is also on a large spectrum, so experiences certainly vary. Keep in mind that "lack of empathy" is common for all sorts of disorders, but since ASPD seems to be one of the most popular choices for Dazai, I decided to start there.

Before we continue, there are 2 types of empathy: Cognitive empathy is the ability to recognize and understand someone’s feelings and experiences and imagine yourself in those scenarios. Emotional empathy is experiencing shared emotions with someone or feeling emotions as though the experience is your own.

People with ASPD can commonly do the first type easily, and struggle with the second one. It does not mean they cannot experience emotional empathy, it’s just rarer for them to feel it. In my opinion, Dazai heavily relies on Cognitive empathy compared to Emotional empathy.

You can see often that he seems to not entirely understand “why” something is wrong on a personal level, but he can logically see it. This is a running theme, and you can commonly see that Dazai doesn’t fully understand “normal”.

“15” Asagiri seems to be writing Dazai as someone who has gone “beyond the human dimension” in his skills and intelligence, so other people can’t fully understand him, but I think this goes both ways. Dazai has lost touch with what’s the standard human experience.

One of the times Chuuya specifically calls out Dazai for not "acting human-like" is when he's not expressing empathy and respect. It is clear that Dazai's lack of empathy is one of the aspects which make others see him as "inhuman".

There is another situation with Kunikida  during the Azure Messenger arc where Dazai seems to apologize for not getting something “is normal”, it slips by you very easily. It is framed as a joke, and it can be read as him making fun of Kuni, but Kunikida asks himself why Dazai apologized. It does read a bit unusually.

To me it seems like Dazai doesn’t fully emotionally understand other people, so when his mask slips you can see that he struggles a ton with getting what’s exactly “typical”.

Because Dazai is extremely intelligent, he masks in order to fit into society, and he does it successfully since he can intellectually understand most social and emotional functions and processes. However, he slips up like everyone does. This is why he got along with Oda well – since Oda just let him act like himself without having ulterior motives. Dazai didn’t have to “mask”. He didn't see Dazai as "just anyone", but he also realized Dazai was human. Basically, to Oda Dazai was a kid that had empathy issues, but he was struggling much like everyone else.

Personally, I feel like Dazai doesn’t feel entirely “human” because he doesn’t feel “emotional empathy” on the same level as other people, and this is one of the key issues of the character (as it's clearly stated in the Dead Apple manga, where Dazai does seem a bit upset by Chuuya's reaction)

. The reason he felt “seen” by Oda is because Oda fully recognized this and still believed Dazai could do “good”. In our society, it is common for people to think that "empathy" and "sympathy" are conditions for being a good person, but it isn't so simple. The possible complexity of Dazai's moral state is why I find the character so interesting - a person without traditional empathy choosing to be good is really fascinating. (more on this later).

Boredom and general emptiness: “Boredom” is an extremely common complaint for people with ASPD – in fact, intense, non-standard boredom, along with other symptoms such as atypical experience with empathy, is one of the easiest ways to recognize ASPD. A “numbed” emotional state is common for people with ASPD, and due to their different emotional range and inability to connect with others in a more typical fashion, they are prone to “boredom” and seeking out extreme experiences.

Alcoholism/Substance abuse is common for people with ASPD, and it’s pretty much canon Dazai drinks a lot (alcohol is even in his likes). Aside from that, Dazai often cites boredom as one of the main reasons he wants to die, and I remember so many instances where he complains about it in bizarre circumstances. This is common for people with ASPD: depression/suicidality is comorbid, and I have heard people with ASPD mention they wanted their life to end once they no longer have enough stimulation. Dazai is often stated to be “bored”, or look bored even when extremely horrifying things are happening (people dying around him/telling their life stories..).  An example with Mori where he talks about wishing to die (from 15):

Another really funny thing, a lot of people with ASPD I have seen tend to dislike “dogs”. Obviously, this hatred comes from the real life Dazai being scared of them and thinking they can attack at any moment, but it’s a funny coincidence. They tend to dislike dogs for an entirely different reason than Dazai does, to be fair.

How Dazai seems to see himself and morals in general

Generally, to me it seems like Dazai is not entirely happy with his nature. He admires Oda and doesn’t understand why he wouldn’t use his talents to rise up in ranks within the Mafia, simply because that is logical to Dazai – perhaps it is that difference between them that he enjoys so much. He is frequently attracted to displays of empathy:

Examples: 1. Ango documenting the deaths of people within the mafia even if it’s “just a waste of money” 2. Almost everything Atsushi and Oda do

He often describes altruism as “interesting”. I am also under the impression that Dazai has a tendency to project his nature onto others, which we can gather from his “Evil expects evil from others” quote to Mori. Furthermore, he sadly remarks in Dark Era that he is “a man despised by righteousness”. so I feel like there is something up here, some sort of guilt, distaste or shame.

This tells me:

a)Dazai sees himself as “evil”

b)He is constantly assuming the worst in others or is prepared for the worst

Another thing this tells me is that Dazai is someone who is likely extremely wary of people’s intentions. This is a ubiquitous theme all across BSD, especially when we see him as a kid. Osamu tends to be skeptical of everyone and everything, as if he’s waiting for people to betray or fuck him over at any corner. In TDIPUD, he keeps getting upset that he can't figure out Oda, since it makes no sense for him to be so charitable for absolutely no reason. Oda said “good and evil are the same to you” – personally I interpret this as Dazai being largely amoral rather than immoral.  Whether Dazai can be described as “good”, “evil” or “neutral” largely depends on your view of ethics. Just because someone lacks traditional empathy, it doesn't mean they are necessarily sadistic or bad at all. Immoral and Amoral are two words that sound similar but have different meanings. Immoral is an adjective that describes “something against pre-established morals, ethics, or standard societal practices.” Amoral, on the other hand, is an adjective that describes “something or someone completely lacking morals.” In common society, if you’re not “good”, you are often automatically “evil”. Basically, a person who has "no morals" is just as bad as a person who has cruel beliefs, but those two fundamentally differ. However, in a technical, utilitarian fashion – this is often seen to be true. More or less, “good” is the neutral state, and the more you step away from it, the more “evil” you are perceived to be. The more moral conventions you break, the more "evil" you are, regardless of your intentions. The results of the actions matter more than the source and motivations. In the end, a person is dead, regardless of why you killed them or how you felt about it. The reasons why people do conventionally moral things can be all over the place too - people aren't always kind because they have sympathy. When I hear “evil and good are the same to you”, it sounds like Dazai has no need for either, meaning, yes, he has no inherent need to do good, but no need for bad, he is simply not opposed to either of them. Regardless of what he's doing, he feels the same way. They're both tools to satisfy particular needs. Many people read this and say "aha, so if he sees no difference between the two, that means he is evil", but I think the truth is in the middle. I always say that to estimate Dazai's moral framework, you need to judge him outside of normal conventions. Basically, his starting point in making decisions is different. He begins his process likely by thinking "what will this bring me?" Most of his “evil” is not out of pure sadism, it’s just that he feels no need to stop himself due to moral conventions, he mostly cares about practical results. This is opposed to Kunikida who cares about ideals and morals in a vacuum and pursues them in their most idealized version (and it's well known Asagiri writes duos as opposites). Entrance exam as a novel was about how idealism can lead people to ruin when it's unrealistic.

He’s naturally immune to socialized pressure that forms the moral frameworks of most people on an emotional level. All of this is very common for ASPD, and a few other conditions. The more I see Dazai talk about how he sees the concept of personality, murder, morality – the more I am convinced his ethical framework is focused on results rather than the inherent morality of said actions. Example: He's going to lie to you to make you happy, even though "lying is bad". There is no inherent value in staying honest if it makes an individual miserable in the long run, even though society sees frankness as a virtue. That way, most actions are “open” for Dazai to undertake, he has no qualms most people have against them, since he doesn’t have socialized morals. A lot of the time, we only see certain things as "unconditionally bad" because we've been socialized to see them that way, even if it's not necessarily logical. He simply lacks socialized morals, leading to a tendency to be amoral. Everything is a means to an end, every action is alright if it's a tool that has more pros than cons. Oda's death was a useful character arc, since it led Dazai to taking Oda's moral framework as his own. He doesn't believe he is better than others, nor does he enjoy hurting random people, he doesn't kill or rob randos to get something and believes he is justified in it. Things of that type would make him “immoral”. Most of Dazai’s evil actions seem utilitarian, rather than committed for the pure act of pleasure or cruelty. When I say “amoral”, I mean this from Dazai’s point of view. Since he has no “moral boundaries”, all actions are open for him to undertake. He can go as far as he wants to any extreme largely depending on his subjective worldview and feelings (as seen in Beast, where he breaks all sorts of ethical codes of being "a good man" so Oda could get a decent life). However, since he is aware that there is a fight between good and bad in every person, and that evil tends to win out compared to the good, under enough pressure, he admires people who selflessly continue to be kind. That is why Oda, a highly moral person even beyond what is logical (his insistence to not kill even if it harms him) is the opposite that pushed him to change. Ulterior motives tend to be something Dazai is worried about in people, perhaps because he is possibly projecting all he is, or can be, on others. He describes Oda specifically as:

"a man who has no ulterior motive". Oda is obviously being a good person partially out of self-interest ("people live to save themselves"), but this self-interest is not destructive. I think for Dazai, it was difficult to find people who didn't have an ulterior motive that was ultimately hurtful, and he projected that onto everyone. Oda acting in his self-interest was ultimately beneficial to everyone. All in all, while Dazai does admire Oda's morals - I think a lot of this appreciation comes from an intimate and subjective place, where he feels comforted someone like Oda even existed. Continuing Oda's work is likely an extension of this as well. Keep in mind, any person has the right to see Dazai's actions as bad, as they often are. I am more speaking of Dazai's internal mental framework. Conclusion: Dazai has no inherent need to do good or bad, for the most part. He just goes as far as he needs to to satisfy his emotional needs.

Oda saved Dazai’s life in the day I picked up Dazai, and listened to him, but expected nothing in return. I feel that Oda saw this struggle within Dazai, and the way “good and evil don’t mean much to him” due to his disorder, but recognized that Dazai perhaps didn’t want to be this way.

Since Oda saw Dazai’s “irregular” nature, and still believed he could be a good person, Dazai was touched and decided to change his life. I believe Dazai had some distaste for himself, regardless of his lack of empathy, he could recognize what he was doing was not entirely right. As Asagiri mentioned, Oda told him exactly what he needed to hear, and the fact that these words were so life-changing to Dazai tells us a lot about what he had on his mind.  In my opinion, to see who Dazai is, you need to follow exactly which words got to him.

In my opinion, it likely meant a lot that a person he actually admired wanted to be in his life, especially a person he considered so kind like Oda. He often says that Oda is “the most interesting person he knows”. Imo, this is because “empathy” is one of the things Dazai doesn’t fully understand. He had to learn it. Since he understands human nature so well, cognitive empathy comes easy to him, but he still fucks up sometimes.

Here, I also feel like he is talking about himself – he sees himself in Kyouka. It doesn’t come naturally to Dazai to be “good”, but he is trying his best, that is his ideal now. (Asagiri said this was one of Dazai's rare human moments). For that reason, I think Dazai admires empathetic people and tends to dislike those who are naturally violent, or even choose to be violent out of sadism.

On the BSD exhibit, Asagiri said Atsushi was "an empathy user", and how that is the key to his character. During one interview, the author mentioned that Dazai keeps testing Kunikida's ideals, but Osamu secretly hopes that Doppo will prove to be right, and Dazai wrong. This to me paints a picture of someone who hopes that "good" is worth it, at least from an intellectual point of view. When talking with Fyodor, he seems to admire people who live emotionally, thinking god doesn't prefer perfection, logic and harmony.

"The ones who actually make the world run Are those who scream in the storm of uncertainty and run with flowing blood"

Dazai seems to reject the idea that him and Fyodor and better because they are more calculating and cold - like I mentioned earlier in this god-forsaken post, this to me says Dazai believes empathetic and emotional people are better than him.

"I've come to see it many times, his gimmicks are the accidental and illogical that's a weakness two of us have in common" He suffers because he is not like them, and that contributes to him feeling "othered".

Negative emotions and Akutagawa

My guess is that one of the reasons Dazai has so many issues with Akutagawa is because he is projecting his own issues with his lack of empathy onto him. This makes him relate to Akutagawa, but also dislike him beyond how he usually treats people. Akutagawa questions why Dazai's acts of violence are justified, while Osamu is judging Akutagawa: to me it sounds that Dazai sees his actions as at least partly justified because they are "logical" and utilitarian. He puts a difference between him and Aku, as if Dazai's natural instinct is not to mindlessly hurt others. However, it's interesting he needs to draw this line.

I believe Dazai sees a lot of the hurt he enacts on others as either "justified" or subconsciously defensive. "If I don't hurt others, they will hurt me", and he uses this against all kinds of people to keep them in control. In the Dark Era novel, Dazai speaks of Akutagawa like this:

“When I first saw him over in the slums, I was horrified. His talents are extraordinary, and his skill is extremely destructive. Plus, he’s stubborn. If I’d left him to his own devices, he would’ve ended up a slave to his own powers until he destroyed himself.” Interestingly, Dazai was "horrified" at what Akutagawa was capable of, where most things don't seem to exactly phase him. I think something about Aku's capacity for violence even scares him, and he "lashes" out in response to control him.

Later on Oda calls out Dazai's thinking indirectly in Beast, saying that hurting Aku is still bad no matter why he did it. (more on this in the next section) However, it’s very clear he cares for Akutagawa in “Chopsticks and a Spoon”, so I do feel like he’s likely aware of it. In fact, that story contains one of the gentlest expressions Dazai has pointed at anyone, so I think he partially sees Akutagawa as "innocent" in nature, and more like a wounded animal. I'll likely write a post about it. Since Dazai has expressed some lament or even shame regarding him being a person "hated by righteousness", I do think he is a bit ashamed of who he is. This part is a theory: When talking about "No Longer Human", Asagiri mentioned that he felt the book was about "embarrassment". Since Dazai is canonically famously based on Yozo to some extent, I feel that we can guess that Osamu likely does feel some shame - the question is about what. The rare times we see BSD Dazai express something similar to shame is when talking about his moral nature (when he beat up Akutagawa in Dark Era), but it's a "blink and you'll miss it" type of thing. Yozo and RL Dazai's relationship with his father was one of the cornerstones of his work (NLH even ends with him mentioning how he would have been alright if he had a better relationship with his father). Within the book, Yozo feels all sorts of things which make him feel "inhuman", but he is terrified about being open about it due to his strict father who sees him as somewhat strange. Since the theme of "fatherhood" was lightly touched upon when Atsushi's orphanage director died, I do think this is potentially a sore spot for BSD Dazai too. My guess is that Dazai likely had a poor relationship with his father figure, who saw him as "strange" or "inhuman" due to the way he acted: leading BSD Dazai to feel shame over his nature. Perhaps one of the things that made his father see Dazai as inhuman was his lack of typical ethics and empathy. Osamu internalized this - and ended up becoming a criminal at a very young age, perhaps in an attempt to confirm what hurt him, seeing himself as someone who could mostly do bad (which could be one of the reasons he wanted to die so young). Perhaps Oda making a way for him to "act good" was life-changing because of that too - it targeted a specific wound. All of this is speculation, but Dazai did mention that "self-pity leads you to living a life that is an endless nightmare". My guess is he was talking about himself there: and his own experiences with shame. To extend this: I think one of the reasons Dazai is so harsh on Akutagawa is because he is possibly projecting his relationship with his father onto Aku. Akutagawa is violent and troubled, and Dazai was shamed for the same thing. (but it would take a lot of time to work through this theory, so moving on..)

Dazai exhibiting empathy However, Dazai does show empathy for Oda, and a lot of it. I’d go as far as to say that he over-empathizes with Oda, while he underempathizes with everyone else. His relationships with the people closest to him tend to be why some people think he may have BPD. Especially due to devaluation and the "favorite person" concept. For someone with this type of BPD relationship, a “favorite person” is someone they rely on for comfort, happiness, and validation. A FP is a person who someone with BPD relies heavily on for emotional support, seeks attention and validation from, and looks up to or idealizes. For Dazai, this is Oda. On the other hand, In the context of BPD, “devaluation” refers to a psychological defense mechanism or coping strategy that individuals with BPD may employ in their interpersonal relationships. Devaluation involves a shift in the person’s perception of others, where they view someone they previously idealized or held in high regard as unworthy, flawed, or worthless. They become unworthy of their affection and praise. The person with BPD may engage in behaviors such as intense criticism, verbal attacks, withdrawal, or even cutting off contact with the person they have devalued. These actions are often driven by the individual’s fear of rejection, abandonment, or a desire to protect themselves from potential hurt or disappointment. For Dazai, the clearest example of this is Ango. However, a person can exhibit the "favorite person" and project the phenomenon of devaluation without having BPD. In my opinion, Dazai does show heightened polarity in his feelings toward others, but I am not sure if BPD would be my choice for him. It's very difficult to say, as many conditions mask as BPD, and Dazai's expression of empathy is unique.

Dazai idealizes Oda, and deeply sees his pain as his own, while he always frames Akutagawa in a negative light, even though he is likely one of the people Dazai cares about the most (next to Oda, Chuuya, Ango, Atsushi, especially according to Beast). Another example of his heightened negative emotions are Ango, and Chuuya to a much lesser extent. My guess is that Dazai doesn’t deal with caring about people well, especially when they are any sort of “threat”: which is why he tries to “bully” them down. The reason he goes easier on Chuuya than Akutagawa is because he feels Chuuya is in his nature more sympathetic.

In my opinion, the moment Dazai warmed up to Chuuya was when he realized that The Sheep were pushing Chuuya around: he was no “King of the sheep”, he was acting out of empathy and care. Since Chuuya is so powerful, it was likely admirable to Dazai that he didn’t abuse his abilities for self-gain. This is when he decided to isolate Chuuya from the Sheep: and I think the reason above is specifically why

I'd say Dazai is likely "spikey" to anyone he cares about but has less confidence they won't hurt him. There are two camps of people: 1. Atsushi, Oda, Kunikida, Sigma (generally upright, meek, moral at the end of the day) 2. Chuuya, Akutagawa, and lastly Ango (people who are aggressive, challenging, and need to be put down in Dazai's eyes).

He cares about both camps (Sigma is debatable, I spoke of the type of personality Dazai seems to deal with easily in his case), but he likely feels "less safe" with the second type. Mori could potentially go into the second camp - there is some respect and resentment there at the same time. He even talks about this with Kunikida in Entrance exam.

"“I guess. But you, Kunikida, I’ve got a good idea of who you are now, so nothing you do will ever surprise me. I mean, compared with me, you’re just a simple man with a simple mind, after all.”

See? You wear your heart on your sleeve. You don’t hide how you’re really feeling. It’s nice. You know what else is nice? Just knowing that you’re going to be worrying later to yourself, ‘Am I really that simple?’”

“Why, you—”

But I refrain from arguing. Whatever my response, he’s just going to end up telling me, “I knew you’d say that.”

I suppose that being around Kunikida comforts him since he is predictable, yet kind. On the other hand, someone like Chuuya excites him, because he is wild and challenging enough, but is still a good person when it comes down to it. Basically, Dazai is hypervigilant of pain.

Akutagawa is “off the chain” in comparison to all of them. I am under the impression that Dazai can care about people without treating them well at all, and 2 of the people who are at the top of his list (Chuuya and Aku) are people he “seems” to dislike (In Chuuya’s case rather openly in his profile).

It appears that the more “intense” and “unpolished” parts of Dazai’s personality are strictly reserved for people he cares about, but he is extremely selective about who he shows emotional empathy to as it’s such a rare experience for him. He may capable of "cutting off" empathy to protect himself emotionally. It is quite clear some aspects of empathy miss him broadly in Beast, when he appears shocked that Oda would react so strongly to endangering Akutagawa since “it’s all supposed to end well if he survives”. That sentence itself is totally tone-deaf, yet Dazai is acting as if Oda is supposed to take that normally. It’s quite clear that Dazai doesn’t treat Atsushi all that well in Beast either, as he exploits his fears for Atsushi to be totally obedient to him.

I really like this moment, because it demonstrates that even if Dazai does have some point regarding Akutagawa and the way he goes about things, the way he has treated him is still too much – and Dazai can’t exactly convince Oda, a decent person, why this is ever justifiable under any circumstances. There is an aspect of regular empathy that misses Dazai – it doesn’t cross his mind why his actions are inherently bad. Perhaps it is possible that Dazai was treated with little to no empathy growing up, so he accepted that as a model for acceptable behavior. A lot of the time, cruel actions don't seem to even register to him as bad, in an almost innocent way. It's like it doesn't cross his mind that stuff is out of the ordinary. When talking to Oda about this, he was described as "childlike".

However, Dazai shows a lot of extreme emotional empathy for Oda, which tends to be rare for people with ASPD (obviously, all traits of it are on a spectrum).

Dazai clearly feels as if he himself is being beaten when Oda suffers. Furthermore, “Beast” shows that he is willing to endanger multiple people he cares about so Oda could live and write his book. In his words “the me from other worlds doesn’t care about the world” – showing that even though he may “care” about people, it’s really hard for him to fully emotionally connect with others.

This leads him to severe feelings of loneliness and isolation, but it’s quite clear Oda is the exception to this.

Dazai has multiple anxiety attacks when meeting with Oda in Beast and TIPUD:

“I see.” Oda says after he gives it a moment of thought. “I’ll do so then. That is very kind of you. You are a good guy.”

Dazai’s expression becomes distorted.

He opens his mouth, and closes it again, as if he can no longer breathe.

If he tells him everything now, maybe things will go back to how they were. The two of them will go to the bar together and have a toast. Just like that night.

“Odasa…”

Just as Dazai is about to say that name, a train passes by. The express train passing through that station cuts through the silence of the night, right next to where Dazai and Oda is."

and obviously the whole showdown at the bar. Earlier, Oda mentions that Dazai looks like he is about to cry:

 An interesting part here is that Dazai gets shocked that Oda would even consider that Dazai could hurt him:

It almost sounds absurd that Dazai, who is known for scheming even against people he likes, would be that surprised someone would expect this from him. This, to me, shows that Dazai does have that underdeveloped, childish emotional side to himself, where he doesn’t understand everything he does. It’s quite logical why Oda, or anyone else, would be consistently doubtful of Dazai, yet he is so used to not caring about anyone, that when he does feel things he is remarkably unpolished and just as illogical as anyone else. I’d say his heart is like a knife that went blunt from lack of use. Since he has no experience dealing with people he feels strongly about, it always comes across very messy – and Asagiri himself often describes him as childish at his most vulnerable.

Furthermore, the lyrics of the song for Beast have these words to say: “Loving you to death won’t kill me Because I don’t love this world enough” And in the Beast novel, he mentions all he has to give to the world is love. I think we can certainly see that Dazai is not emotionless.

To me it seems like Dazai is capable of selective emotional empathy. I feel like one of the reasons Oda was “the one” Dazai attached himself to the most, is because Oda was a struggling man who was also depressed (rather clear the more you read), but he was empathetic and accepted Dazai for who he was.

Him and Dazai had difficulties in common (the guy was a killer as a kid too), yet Oda did his best to be a good person – that is one of the reasons, as Asagiri mentions, why he had an “outburst” when Kyouka implied former killers can’t be good people. Oda was a good person in his eyes, and his role model of “empathy”: someone he wished to emulate. I am pretty sure that Oda became the blueprint for the moral compass he strives towards.

Most importantly, Oda didn’t really judge Dazai when he showed his lack of empathy, while he remained firm in what he believed in.

“Odasaku is the type of person who will never lecture anyone. Because he does not consider himself a superior person who can teach and guide others. However, it doesn’t mean that he has nothing he wants to say. The sentiments that he couldn’t convey in these two scenes were finally delivered to Dazai in the last scene through the words “Become a good person.” Very meaningful scenes when read as a set.”

is how Asagiri described Oda during the exhibit. As Asagiri says, one of the reasons he didn’t tell Dazai anything when he provoked the sniper was his modesty. Since Oda didn’t look down on him, yet showed concern and fully understood Dazai wasn’t just a struggling depressed kid, but someone with serious issues who also happened to be a child – Dazai grew to deeply care for him. Oda didn't shame him, likely avoiding Dazai's hypervigilant sensor for pain.

Selective empathy is common for many disorders – and Dazai, after not feeling “seen” his whole life, ended up making a true connection with Oda. I guess, in that sense – Oda was the one who really reached Dazai’s heart, and since he was the only one who came that close, all of Dazai’s emotional empathy is reserved for him.

In my opinion, the reason Dazai was so difficult to “get to” was that even people who had good intentions toward him never truly saw him.

To see Dazai as a depressed woobie who just needs to be saved is to idealize him – which wouldn’t exactly help him. They’re talking about a version of him that doesn’t exist. If the only way he could be seen as worthwhile was someone seeing him as more “traditionally good” than he truly is, it’s not going to work. He needs to be seen for exactly who he is, and still given a chance to be better.

Likewise, it had to be someone who wasn’t helping him in order to get something from him. I would say that one of the main reasons why Dazai got so attached to Oda was because his friend had no reason to save him, he gave him space, and didn’t even force himself into Dazai’s life.

It was purely altruistic, and for Dazai, who expects the worst from others and seems to fear people’s intentions, this was perfect. One of the main aspects of Dazai's character is his anxious-avoidant attachment style, where he is likely so afraid of potential pain, he pushes others away, or punishes anyone he cares about who might hurt him preemptively. A lot of this is not impulsive, but calculated, which is why he feels a natural resistance to Akutagawa (but relates to him and cares all the more because of it). He understands the self-destructive nature of Akutagawa.

"If I’d left him to his own devices, he would’ve ended up a slave to his own powers until he destroyed himself.”" I believe Dazai likely allows himself to fully empathize with Oda because he feels only Oda is "safe" in this world. The fact that Oda is dead and gone perhaps makes caring for him even safer, as his image of Oda will never change.

Conclusion: I'd say Dazai is someone who is probably extremely traumatized, with a specific emotional profile that doesn't allow him to experience empathy like normal people do - and this is one of the defining traits of the character for me. He is able to isolate himself from normal social pressures and boundaries - and because of this and his extreme intellect, he feels like an alien in this world. A lot of his struggle likely deals with the fact that he dislikes the hurtful person he is, but has difficulty seeing why he should be better - all while he has a distaste for sadism, cruelty and senseless violence in others. In my opinion, a lot of his own cruelty is "reactive": he acts "evil" because he expects the same from others ("evil expects evil from others), and decides he wants to beat them to the punch. He is comforted when he is in the presence of altruistic and empathetic people, because he doesn't have to be what he dislikes (as "enemy" evil will always make him react since he is threatened). In the end, he rationally sees that cruelty is negative, but he still feels it is an effective tool. If Dazai weren't this way, he wouldn't consistently choose empathetic people for his company throughout the story, while acting callous himself most of the time.

A lot of things Dazai does to me feel like he is avoiding hurt, or attempting to "control the pain" he gets in his life. Notably, Dazai mostly lets himself get "bullied" by people he sees as innocent and simple like Kunikida, since "Kunikida will never surprise him" - he knows that Doppo won't cross the line. Ironically, he famously says he "dislikes physical pain", but often gets himself into physically dangerous scenarios.

It's like he doesn't mind pain if he's the one in control (when Fyodor let the sniper shoot him, when that dude from Mimic shot him point blank). Avoidance of pain and control are other keys to Dazai's character. In that sense, I think Dazai was possibly traumatized and learned to almost completely disassociate from empathy early in his life. There are so many theories I could think of here that we'd get nowhere.

It is clear that Dazai is capable of extreme emotional empathy due to his relationship with Oda, and it's possible he doesn't allow himself to feel it in most scenarios due to his avoidant nature regarding pain. However, whatever the reason behind it, it is clear he doesn't feel a ton of emotional empathy in his day-to-day life, and this disassociation from empathy has crafted him into a person who doesn't fully understand "normal humans".

That is why he sees them as fascinating after Oda dies - he reaches Dazai's heart and opens him up to the idea that not all people are unempathetic and cruel - meaning Dazai doesn't always have to be on guard. Does Dazai have ASPD, or is his lack of empathy a result of other things: PTSD, CPTSD, is he perhaps autistic? I can't say for sure, as it could be so many things. Personally, anyone could make an argument for any of these in my eyes. Above, I mostly analyzed his displays of empathy and tried to study which emotional patterns he appears to follow. I think Dazai's character arc has a lot of worth specifically because we see someone for whom emotional empathy may not be natural trying to be good. It's a unique ethical dilemma, and that's one of the reasons I feel in love with the series. Since it isn't natural for him, his efforts mean a lot, and the struggle feels real and genuine.

Thank you all for reading if you made it this far <3 I've taken a lot of posts and translations I've gathered over the years, and I am sure I won't be able to thank everyone, but, I'd like to show appreciation for popopretty, aja154ever and many others for sharing info from exhibitions, databooks and so. Have a nice day !

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #dazai #dazai osamu #osamu dazai #osamu #oda sakunosuke #bsd dazai #theory

[berlingotesque]

What are your ships for Batim? :D

VERY GOOD QUESTION- I know my answer should be rather straightforward but I feel I have to put some context to my answers since they may seem contradictory/paradoxical otherwise, so bear with me-

Sammy x Norman : Well. I think that one was pretty obvious, anyone who's seen more than 3 of my posts knows that I'd die for these two. They're just so PERFECT for each other, from their complementary personalities to the fact that their relationship allows us to delve deeper into batim's historical and social context. Sammy and Norman have one of the few relationships that develop the most during the game's lore : Norman originally complains vehemently about Sammy's frenetic behavior, only to end up lamenting to Buddy and Dot how 'Sammy isn't the same anymore'. What's interesting about this statement is that he says it in relation to Sammy's strange behavior : clearly, the two men have grown close enough for Norman to differentiate Sammy's extravagant habits from his ink-influenced behavior.

Furthermore, Sammy is a very gray character morally, a perfectionist who is extremely socially maladjusted (surely due to the fact that he's coded on the spectrum and autism wasn't properly diagnosed at the time), naturally ostracizing him. For his part, Norman comes from a rural background (which surely earns him the animosity of the people at the studio, given the historical context and the fact that he could very well be poc) and also seems ill at ease socially : to me, it's fascinating to see two characters excluded from their peers because of differences they can't change (being autistic or poc and gay) getting closer to each other, to the point where Sammy, who is deeply misanthropic, naturally compliments Norman by describing him as very bright. To me, Norman is the perfect partner for Sammy : ready to apprehend him as he is, since he's completely free of social conventions, without taking any shits from him.

I think Sammy and Norman can really get the best out of each other, during a historical period when being different was strongly proscribed. I think I'd have trouble enjoying Batim as much without their dynamic at its heart (considering how narratively rich it is) : Norman is Henry's confidant, Sammy is Joey's, both remain morally gray deuteragonists fundamentally opposed to the ink machine, while remaining fascinated by its powers. And who wouldn't love a good old enemies to lovers ending tragically with the unwitting murder of one by the other ? After all, Norman's main flaw is that he's too curious for his own good, and it was Sammy who inevitably led him to his doom..

Allison x Tom : what more can I add. She's everything. He's just Tom. I've always been drawn to characters/ships with a vibe completely opposite to the vibe of the work they originally came from, and the 'turning poison into positivity' energy that Tom and Allison bring to Batim has always fascinated me. In a world as tragic as their own, I find it touching to see these two find beauty in all the ugliness and manage to ask themselves 'what if we were happy after all ?' It's really striking and brings a narrative richness to the work, since they directly mirror what failed with Sammy and Susie : Allison is perfect, but that was never what was at stake in Tom's eyes. Tom was looking for humanity, not perfection, and he managed to go beyond the image of the muse to discover a friend, unlike Sammy with Susie. They're literally Romeo and Juliet but, well... Not dead.

Joey x Henry/Henry x Linda : oh boy. These three... Let me get it straight right away : Henry and Linda are perfect for each other. She's exactly what he needs to be happy : she's present, patient. There's no denying that he loves her immensely. But Joey... oh Joey is undoubtedly Henry's soul mate. The subtlety is that Joey can't bring him the stable happiness Linda can : Joey tugs at him, pushes him over the edge. He knows exactly what to do to push him beyond his own limits. The love Joey offers Henry is an uncomfortable but unconditional one, one that would allow Henry to go beyond what he thinks he's capable of achieving because no one knows Henry better than Joey ! And let's be honest, Batim only exists because Joey refuses to move on, to live his dream without Henry in it. He's stuck in unrequited love and refuses to learn to live with it. And that's the tragedy of this trio : Henry sincerely loves Linda but is truly himself with Joey, which prevents him from hating OR loving him (And Joey exploits this information by remaining extremely toxic and convincing himself that he can wear him down lmao). Henry is stuck with this dilemma : Existing peacefully with Linda or living painfully with Joey. And that's why I love the dynamic of this love triangle : because there are no solutions that will satisfy everyone.

Joey x Sammy : okay, don’t get me wrong : these two are HORRIBLE for each other. Does Sammy periodically want to quit just to piss Joey off? Yes. Isn't Joey's fascination with Sammy intimately tied to his refusal to forget Henry, who was a genius like Sammy? Yes. Nevertheless, it's impossible for me to read The Illusion of Living without feeling embarrassed and like I'm reading Joey's diary : whether you ship them or not, Joey is practically canonically smitten with Sammy. I sincerely don't think Joey and Sammy can sustain a healthy relationship with each other, but oh boy, surely that won't stop me from exploiting their bizarre obsessive love-hate relationship, where it's hard to determine whether they're going to throw hands or make out.

#oh god the normmy one I’M SO SORRY ANONS #I just love this ship so much I got carried away #anyway that’s just my own personal analysis #which are sometimes a bit far-fetched I admit #BUT STILL it’s so fun to over analyze batim when you know the creators really don’t give a shit about their own lore lmao #thank you so much for the asks anons :)) #I hope my answer has enlightened you #sammy lawrence #norman polk #normmy #allison pendle #thomas connor #thomson #joey drew #henry stein #linda stein #creatorship #how do you call Sammy x Joey ?? #jammy ? or is that the name for Sammy x Jack ? #god i dont know #susie campbell #(mentioned) #samsie #(derogatory) #batim #batdr #bendy and the ink machine #bendy and the dark revival #ask response #berlingot’s asks

[asexualenjolras]

It is one week until Newsies London closes in Wembley, and I got to see it again the other day, so I want to talk about Ryan Kopel and his beautiful portrayal of Davey Jacobs one more time.

I love how Ryan portrays Davey to be autistic. Ryan has said that he plays Davey in a way that exemplifies his quirks, and it really works in this production. It’s what I am going to miss the most. I’ve never felt more seen.

As an autistic person myself, I have always headcanoned Davey as being autistic – in every format of Newsies previously. Ben Fankhauser’s Davey was always autistic-coded to me – his portrayal was one of my favourites. And I was nervous about seeing another actor take on a character that means so much to me ... but Ryan took Davey and made him even more autistic and I am so, so grateful and in awe of his talent.

Let’s talk about Davey Jacobs and his autistic traits, as portrayed by Ryan Kopel in West Endsies:

- Stimming:

Davey is stimming the WHOLE SHOW. And that’s not an exaggeration. He is shown to bounce on his toes, he is constantly fidgeting with his fingers (and standing with those stereotypical t-rex arms) and he runs his hands along his newsie bag, and he does a few little spins when he's excited, and he jumps up and down at one point.

- Difficulty with social interaction:

From the first moment that Davey is on stage, he is shown to be incredibly uncomfortable talking to other people. He is shown to stammer over his thoughts and struggles to coherently converse with the other characters on the stage. He is portrayed as someone that is reluctant to speak, and he stutters and rambles and struggles to maintain eye contact, looking down at his fidgeting hands a lot. Ben Fankhauser made Davey more confident in his ability to share his thoughts, but Ryan’s Davey struggles - both internally and externally - with this.

He is also shown to have a one track mind in conversations. He struggles to see why Jack is having doubts after the rally because he, personally, thinks it was a success. Davey is bouncing around and his tone is so light and he is so confused by Jack's doubts. It's so autistic. It's so relatable.

- Relationship with physical contact:

Davey is shown to struggle when people suddenly touch him, he flinches and wipes the touch away whenever he is uncomfortable. BUT he initiates touch with those that he trusts. He's so physical with Les, constantly holding him and giving him reassurance through taps. He is shown to hug Jack and he hugs Crutchie and it's nice to see.

- Strong moral compass:

Unlike Ben Fankauser’s Davey (who I LOVE), Ryan’s Davey is shown to be more reluctant to join in on the strike – he is a lot more sheltered, and is completely isolated on one side of the stage in that scene. Davey looks down to his feet and looks to be at war with himself. He looks completely defeated when Jack asks if his father would be in the mess he was in if he had a union, because he knows that Jack – this boy that he has just met – is right. But he is so conflicted because he knows that this is going to be difficult, and he’s so worried and so anxious and so questioning about what the right thing is. It’s such a minor part of the show, but it’s there and I love it.

- Autistic joy:

I don’t know how else to word this but the way that we see Davey unmask throughout the play makes me so smiley. We see him go from this uncomfortable, awkward, masked version of himself in the beginning to someone that genuinely feels accepted and like he has a place in this strike and in the Newsie family. The excitement in his voice when he is talking to Jack in Medda’s is UNMATCHED. He’s so bouncy and light and he’s STIMMING and he’s so happy. I love it.

I could go on and on but I won’t. I just really love the artistic differences between Ryan and Ben’s Davey Jacobs’. I love both of their adaptations, but Ryan’s Davey feels so authentically autistic. And I am PRAYING we get to see his Davey immortalised in a pro-shot?! PLEASE?!

Ryan Kopel, thank you so much for giving us this wonderfully autistic Davey Jacobs on stage.

#newsies #davey jacobs #ryan kopel #west endsies #newsies london #autistic davey jacobs #autism #autistic headcanon #autistic spectrum #actually autistic #wembley #i am so not ready to lose this show #i hope it comes back soon #thank you so much ryan #your davey is so important

[mysticalsoot]

goodnight, my sweet.

A/N; this is gonna be the shittiest, quickest blurb of my life but I just got out of a long shift at work and I wanted to cry within an hour of being there (also I nearly fainted but tis fine!) I could've been patient and posted this tmw but nah! when inspiration strikes- yeah idk the rest

summary; reader comes home from a long day at work just to get some well deserved kisses and cuddles from wilbur!

tw// mentions of possibly fainting, lots of kissing, all of its wholesome kissing, lowercase intentional, not proofread, reader is autistic coded but when are they not

words; 1.7k

pairings; cc!wilbur x gn!reader

pronouns; none!

masterlist

—★—

you weren't the best at asking for help or speaking up, you couldn't project your voice like you were always asked to and you went nonverbal more than you'd like to admit. all are traits others would deem negative, and honestly? they probably are. but in this moment you could care less, all you want to do is get home.

you've worked at this local coffee shop for a few months now and it's been great. its pretty calm and quiet, barely any bustling days. when it does get busy, it's pretty mild. maybe a few rushes here and there, nothing you can't handle.

yet, for some reason, today was the worst day. you didn't get a moments rest, people were lining up near the door. you blamed it on the new menu item but it could've been the holiday and your town being a tourist spot. it was hands down the busiest shift you'd have worked the entire time, and to top it all off-- you were near fainting most of it, as well as going nonverbal. you work the register. neither are very good things to have at any job but especially one that requires you to speak, process and stand.

regardless, you worked your shift and the moment your boss gave you the okay-- you were up and out of there. luckily your little cafe wasn't far from yours or wil's flat, maybe a fifteen minute walk. you pulled out your phone, scrolling through different notifications; Twitter, Tumblr, a few DMS but nothing you cared to answer or notice right away. the last thing from wil was a simple "have a good day at work, babe!" which wasn't a surprise, he also anticipated a long day at work. the boys working even more on the next EP, trying to make as many songs as they're comfortable with to counteract wilbur's perfectionism.

you pocket your phone, finding comfort in the small breeze in the air and the scent of the beach. the walk back home felt a lot quicker than usual, maybe it was your lack of perception or maybe you were just enough in tune with everything to make time to quicker. whatever it was, you didn't care either way.

you were most likely on autopilot and the way you didn't realize where you were until your hand was on the doorknob of your home, you figured that was the case. you slowly creaked the door open, trying to be minimal with what sounds you made as you shut and locked the door behind you. you undid your boots and took off your jacket, taking a moment to lean against the door before finding your composure and turning into your bedroom.

wilbur was there laying on the bed, phone in hand but the moment he laid eyes on you, his phone was on his nightstand and his arms were open wide for you, "hey, love-- how was work?" he asks softly as you slip into the bed, finding your way to lay on top of him. you slink your arms around him, nuzzling your head under your chin.

you groaned in response to his question and he chuckled, letting his hands fall to rest on your back. he drew soft circles with his fingers before moving to slip his hands under your shirt, resting them there. you sighed in content as you cuddled even closer, humming with a feeling of peace at finally being in his arms.

he let you lay like this for a good while, maybe 30 minutes, but he eventually knew he had to pry. otherwise you'd keep it locked up until the guilt of not telling him ate you alive.

"was work bad?" he placed soft kisses to your forehead, letting you lift your head and watched as you moved to straddle his hips, body still aching--but at least you could see his eyes.

"busy, mostly. tiring and- I just wanna sleep so bad." you groan softly as you move to lay back down, curling into the crook of his arm, your own arm draped across his stomach. you nuzzled your face into his side before muttering, "how was the studio?"

you yawn as you nuzzle closer to him, humming again as his hands rub up and down your back, "it was good. got a lot done.. looking at a release about two months down the line, at least we hope." he whispers softly between each kiss he places on your face and he moves to hover over you.

he smiles softly as your eyes slide shut and he begins to places kisses over your face before drawing down onto your jaw, "what are you doing, bee?" your voice is soft, almost like a purr as he kisses under your jaw and then under your chin.

"loving on my partner," he hums against your neck as he places a few kisses there, drawing back up to nip at your earlobe, earning a giggle from you--it always makes you giggle, and he knows that. he trails back down, kissing over your throat.

"why?" you question with a slight 'mm' following, your fingers finding purchase into the mop of frizzy curls on his head, sifting through them and playing with them.

"because.." he drawls out as he rests his hands on your sides, lips brushing over your collarbone, two kisses placed before he moves up to your shoulders, "you need a distraction. and my kisses are always the answer."

he shines a cocky grin to you before moving to pepper soft kisses on your upper arm, moving down onto your wrist and then your palm and fingertips. he's never skimpy with his kisses and now is no exception. he repeats the same pattern but on your other arm just a moment later.

"are they?" you smirk playfully, it isn't that much of a smirk, it's more like a small quirk of the lips but it's enough to get your point across. he moves to lift your shirt slightly, a line of kisses from your sternum down onto your belly. you feel him smirk against your stomach before he peppers kisses all over it, using his fingers to tickle at your sides. you curl over him, giggling and laughing, breathing out light no's and stop's, all through happy breaths.

"wiiiill!" you giggle through heavy breaths as he keeps kissing and tickling, his own smile wide and giggles of his own matching yours and slipping past his lips.

"what?" he quips, smirk evident as he lifts his head, fingers stopping their attack on your sides and lips no longer pressed on your belly.

"why'd you tickle me?" you ask with a playful pout and he crawls up and over you, pressing his forehead against yours as he rests his hands on either side of your head.

"do you feel better?" he asks softly, a gentle kiss to your nose placed the moment he finishes speaking.

"yes?" your tone is curious as you tilt your head to the side, your hands resting on his waist as he keeps himself above you.

"good." he smiles softly as he gently places his weight on you, his hand under your head in your hair, massaging at your scalp as they sift between strands of your hair.

"you didn't tell me why-" your tone is determined as you speak and your fingers play with his hair. he chuckles at your insistence as he shakes his head lightly, letting it fall to your shoulder.

"I did it to distract you, and it worked, did it not?" he asks almost rhetorically as he turns over onto his back, letting you lay on top of him. you yawn and begin to cuddle closer, nuzzling in the way you always do before you intend to sleep, "let's get you changed and then you can sleep, okay, baby?" he speaks softly, placing a kiss to your temple before helping you to sit up.

"do I have to?" you ask softly, getting up off the bed and walking over to the dresser. you're up before he is and he huffs at how quickly you moved, having wanted to do it for you. so he meets you over at the dresser, stopping your hands from reaching into thr drawers. you let out a dramatic whine as he points back at the bed with a soft glare of 'get back in bed'.

you made your way, begrudgingly, back to bed, settling for sitting on the edge as you watched him grab an old sweatshirt of his and some sleep pants you always found comfort in.

"yes, you have to get dressed," his response was a bit delayed but the sentiment still stood as he walked over to the bedside, and knelt before you.

"may I?" he asks softly as his fingers find purchase at the bottom hem of your shirt and you nod. he lifts the shirt up over your head and puts it aside, helping you put on the sweatshirt in place of it. he rests his hands on your sides for a moment afterward, and he places a soft kiss to your chin before helping you with your pants. the same routine of 'may I?' with a nod from you after.

once you're all changed he scoops you up and throws you both into the bed together, pulling the blankets up over you both as you settle in one another's arms.

wilbur pushes a few strands of hair out of your face before dropping his hand to rest on your cheek, smiling softly as he places a kiss to your forehead.

"sleep?"

"sleep." he answers with a kiss to your lips. its soft, sweet and short but it's nice after a very long day for you both.

"goodnight, bee." you mumble as you cuddle closer to him, humming to yourself as your arms wrap around him.

"goodnight, my sweet."

his hands run over your back as he continues to place kisses all over your face, he's slow and careful with each one as they become far and few between with every second. sleep begins to enrapture you both and before you're out, a final few mumbles of promises are whispered.

taglist; @ella-fella-bo-bella @lillylvjy @sleepyburs @lotusanonymouse @lcvejoy

#cc!wilbur soot #cc!wilbur x reader #cc!wilbur #cc!wilbur soot x reader #cc!wilbur soot x gn!reader #wilbur gold #wilbur x reader #wilbur soot imagine #wilbur soot x gn!reader #wilbur #wilbur soot fluff #wilbur soot x y/n #c!wilbur x reader #dsmp x reader #wilbur x gn!reader #gn!reader

[starcanwrecked-confessions]

Content warning for discussions about transphobia.

I'm here almost two weeks later because I still think about how defensive and dismissive the response was to that anon expressing frustration about Sherman Young. And while I agree that him being played by a woman isn't the butt of the joke the way Umbridge being played by a man was, I don't think the anon's discomfort is unwarranted like the reactions to that confession did. Sherman irks me too. And I think the issues with this character go way deeper than the cross-dressing (the coding of autistic traits as creepy is way worse imo), but I'll limit this ask to discussing the original point raised. Yes, cross-dressing is part of theatre practice, but it's not always a value-neutral act, even unintentionally.

Starkid have cross-cast a lot of roles, but importantly have dropped the practice in the Hatchetfield shows (unless it was for the one child actor they had). Except for Sherman. Him being acted in drag was a deliberate choice, because Jaime Lyn was cast over several guys who auditioned for the part. In BF, Sherman is written with no redeeming qualities. He is sexual in a way meant to be uncomfortable, he gets called a sicko and a pervert in the text, he assaults a young woman. He's the only named character that gets explicitly queered when he calls Wiggly his boyfriend in that one throwaway gag line. His jacket is striped blue, white and pink. That's how they present the one character that's played in drag, and it was really noticeable to me, especially in contrast to how aggressively cishet the rest of the show is.

And I don't think there was any transphobic intent at all, but looking at something like this in context matters. These choices about the character do add up to say something about gender in these shows, because Sherman doesn't exist in a vacuum. He is surrounded by other characters, and I think it's important to critically think about what traits and actions are used to differentiate and villainize him and how these traits and actions take on an additional layer if you decide to have him be a man played by a woman. And again, I don't think it was malicious, just a slightly tone-deaf decision that can strike the wrong chords if one looks at the broader context of how Hatchetfield is usually cast and Starkid's less than stellar history of depicting genderqueerness or rather their lack thereof on stage.

I've refrained from ending this with a joke about how people should think about the implications, but sometimes that is the thing to do, unironically. Just because a character isn't an overtly transphobic joke like Umbridge doesn't mean they can't carry unintended harmful connotations, and it doesn't help being dismissive of people trying to point those out.

~~~

#confession #starkid #hatchetfield #black friday #sherman young

[gretahayes]

Bart "wouldn't know a romantic advance if it smacked him in the face" Allen strikes again. She simply wasn't interesting enough to be noticed as a romantic advance. My bet's on he registered her comment, then immediately dismissed it as not important or worthy of notice because he had more important things to do. And because he thought all this at superspeed, it looks like he didn't register the comment at all. He'll probably think back and realize "oh, she was flirting with me" later on, when he has time to slow down. Love this guy and his funky little brain. He's so adhd/autistic coded

#my rambles #comic panel #yj #bart allen #rus reads yj98

[hiwelcometothemonstersancturary]

Your book sounds so cool!!!

AAAAAA, THANK YOU SO MUCH! It's called The Tale of the Evil Sorcerer/O Conto do Feiticeiro Maligno and it's free to read over Wattpad, but there isn't an english translation and I prob won't do that any time soon, as I'm going to rewrite it someday.

It's about an "evil" sorcerer who kidnapped a princess by accident, only to fall in love at first sight with the knight who came to save her. Things become worse when the princess figures out the sorcerer was never evil at all, but he's so bad at communication that he just let the rumors spread because it was easier than dealing with them, so she decides to strike a deal: She'll help him try to talk with the knight, who also happens to be her BFF, and in turn he will teach her how to be a sorcerer. And no, the knight has no idea what's going on, and he's also been indocrinated his whole life to beliefe that magic = SUPER BAD.

I love these three idiots so much. The sorcerer is called Meia-Noite (Midnight in english), princess is Valentyna, and the knight is Edgar. They share one (1) braincell and are all doomed by the narrative, except the story has a happy ending for everyone. The only villain who's not sympathetic is a transphobe named Joanne Atropa and she's english-coded. This is not a reference to an IRL transphobe/neonazi author, uh-uh, never! Infodump under the cut:

Meia-Noite is a gay disaster who lives in a fortress he found at age 13 in the middle of a jungle. Goth, anxious, and is actually a healer and not a shadow manipulator like the rumors say. He helps people if they get lost and need someone to treat their injuries because his duty as a healer is capable of overtaking his fear of strangers. He's tall with long dark hair but if the wind hits him a bit too hard he goes flying with it, the guy is a STICK.

Edgar is a bi knight who has trained his entire life to protect the girl he sees as a sister. He's autistic, albino and is REALLY serious about his duties as a knight (he's 17) to the point he forgot about everything else. Outside the harsh exterior he's actually a huge sweetie who loves photography and is super curious about magic, but feels super guilty and bad about it.

Valentyna is a lesbian princess who's a prodigy at almost everything she does, but her parents refuse to teach her light magic and she's desperate to help the people of her kingdom. This girl punched Meia the SECOND she was able to do so during the kidnapping, she may not know what she's doing but somehow she is winning the game. She cares so much about everyone around her! Also adopted an albino snake and named it Açúcar (Sugar) 15 seconds after finding her in the palace's gardens.

My girlfriend also wanted to say this:

[image id: "ALSO YOU NEED TO MENTION AÇÚCAR. lovely baby, has never done anything wrong, most important character". end image id]

Some other characters include:

Olhos de Fogo (Fire Eyes), a HUGE dumbass who's also a sorcerer. Pan king, ranked #1 arsonist over three different kingdoms, also ranked most handsome character by the readers (somehow!!!!! People love to thirst over him!) and has a "very gender" title given by me. Doomed by the narrative except unlike the trio he just accepts his fate because he's a huge loser. If this will end well for him or not it's something everyone has yet to see. My girlfriend has this to say about him:

[image id: "i love my terrible slutty son tho". end image id.]

Angélica, Meia's adopted sister, can see the future sometimes and is also a fashion enthusiasts. Use the people in the "fortress" she lives in as test subjects for her clothes, girlie is always tired and a bit terrified of the future ahead but trying her BEST to stay positive. And failing. I want to give her a special treatment in the rewrite because I think she deserves it.

Comandante (Commander), has this name because they're the commander of the non-binary nation. Accidentally misheard Meia-Noite and thought they were supposed to KIDNAP Valentyna instead of politely taking her over for a conversation about why her parents are incompetent at their jobs, now must be the parent friend to everyone. I love them so much, they're an icon to me.

Elisabeth, a princess from a rival kingdom who may or may not be Valentyna's crush. A bit more on the gothic side, had a pretty unusual childhood and her tweenhood was pretty hard. Tries her best to look eloquent and always knowing what to do, but really, REALLY wants to be a bit more loose. She and Tyna will have an enemies/rivals to lovers arc in the rewrite bc why not.

IT/THAT THING/ANYTHING/THE ???????????. A creature that's always watching. Also may be the guy that gave Meia half of his trauma.

The NARRADORA, AKA Narrator, the girl who's telling this story. It's her first big assignment and she LOOOVES saying her opinions about what is going on, much to her professor/adopted father's dismay.

THE NARRADOR, AKA Narrator but masc, is Narradora's older brother and a lot more kept-together than her, except it's all a facade for an equally chaotic creature. Loves gossip.

THE PROTAGONISTA, AKA Protagonist, who's ALSO another narrator. Super insecure because he's still training to be a storyteller, but he has his boyfriend (Narrador) and best friend (Narradora) to help.

THE LOCUTOR, who only appears to narrate like three times max. Older brother figure of the group, a huge cryptid who seems to be the coolest thing ever until you discover he stole an one-night-stand's head for funsies and is yet to give it back.

THE HOMEM VELHO, AKA Old Man, the professor of the group. Never makes a proper apparition but I want to mention him because he's a tired dad, someone PLEASE give him a break.

#o conto do feiticeiro maligno #ocdfm #☀️ #ask tag #garca writing

[morsobaby]

Any Pokémon/Transformers headcanons? :O

I DO HAVE!! For transformers especially I'll list off a few at random bc any character wasn't specified

(These mostly apply to transformers prime characters)

Optimus - many people have brought up that he could easily be autistic coded and I do agree but i also think he could definitely have ocd what with the stress of being The Prime and the leader everyone is supposed to look up to and who's meant to save everyone. I feel like his situation is very conducive to like, morality based intrusive thoughts. He probably runs himself ragged checking and re checking things around the base bc his head keeps telling him everyone WILL die if he doesn't. He strikes me as someone who might have an intense fear of not being the best person he can be. Ocd Optimus real<3

Soundwave - I've probably mentioned this before some while ago in another post but I think he's recipromantic (only attracted to someone if it's reciprocated), and in some kind of relationship with Meggie (not necessarily romantic but I just think he feels any type of attraction only on the reciprocal level). Also Idk if this counts as two hcs but to me Soundie is also xenogender in some way hashtag cringe culture is dead genders are cool!!!!

Breakdown - Tbutch or she/her gnc man. To me. Or both. Just bc i think it'd be awesome since everyone tends to hc her boyfriend Knockout as more outwardly queer (bc he's a flamboyant twink), but no her masculinity and huge hammer are very rainbow. Slay

#Ask #Morsos headcanons #I know you don't really know much about these characters #But I appreciate you asking nonetheless :) #tfp optimus prime #Only tagging him bc..... #(doesn't finish that sentence)

[alwaysahiccupandastrid]

“autistic luna” this, “autistic luna” that, can we talk about how hermione was autistic coded pls?

I mean... yes? It's definitely something I've thought about but I haven't really talked about it because I'm aware of my habit of making headcanons that all of my favourite characters are autistic (Dano!Riddler, Robin from ST etc), but yes, I've definitely considered that Hermione is autistic-coded.

Let me just be clear from the beginning: Do I think that R*wling intentionally wrote Hermione as autistic or autistic-coded? Absolutely fucking not. That woman can't write autism for shit, as she's proven with her Strike books; she didn't write Newt as autistic intentionally, nor did she write Luna as autistic intentionally, and I'm not giving that nightmare the credit for any autistic-coded characters in her works because she doesn't deserve it.

With that out of the way, let me discuss autistic!hermione.

One of most obvious things we all know about Hermione is her love of studying; it very much seems that upon finding out she was a witch, she threw herself into that world and learned all that she could about it. By the time she was on the train to Hogwarts for her first year, she had literally read all of the assigned text books and even knew a few basic spells. This is in part due to the fact she wanted to fit in with the Wizarding World - it's implied that she didn't really have any muggle friends pre-Hogwarts, she was probably ostracised for being such a "know-it-all", and it's clear that she wanted to fit in at Hogwarts, to find a place where she belonged, hence why she threw herself into it (and also because of her love of learning of course). You can see that she was desperate not only to learn as much as possible but also to make friends; if she didn't care about being accepted and making friends, Ron's comment about "no wonder she hasn't got any friends" wouldn't have hurt her nearly as much.

While a love of studying certain topics and a desire to fit in aren't solely autistic traits, they are ones that autistic people do seem to experience, myself included. Speaking from experience, I want to fit in and make friends because I feel lonely, and I see that everyone else around me seems comfortable/to have found people they can be around and trust, and I wish I had that. I find friendships very difficult to build and maintain, because I don't know how to talk to people or how to get them to like me, and I feel deficient in that area. Again, that's probably an experience non-autistic people can relate to as well, but from what I can tell it seems to be very common among us.

Another reason I think Hermione could be autistic-coded is that she seems to display a lack of empathy for others at times; a prime example of this is when Lavender's rabbit, Binky, died. Lavender was - quite understandably - sobbing about it, especially given that Binky was only a baby and that he was killed by a fox. Instead of offering any kind of sympathy or empathy, Hermione instead lectured her (and everyone else) about how Trelawney wasn't actually a seer, analysing how Trelawney didn't predict the bunny's death - she was more interested in proving that Divination sucked because it was her worst subject, like she had to have some kind of win over Trelawney/Divination. And while I understand her logic, she was sort of right, choosing that very moment - when one of her dorm-mates was sobbing over her dead pet - was not the best time to voice it. There's also her utter disregard for Ron's feelings over "Scabbers"; she had this "he's never really cared that much about Scabbers anyway" "he's an old rat anyway" kind of mentality that just displayed no kind of attempt to understand his feelings. The fact that Hermione became a pet owner herself just a few months before all of this also goes to show her lack of empathy/sympathy, the fact that despite owning an animal now she still was unable to do the socially acceptable thing and show empathy/sympathy instead of logic. Hermione is certainly not emotionless by any means, but there are definitely times where she seems so absorbed by her own ideas and thoughts/feelings that she's oblivious to other people's.

Not all autistic people are like this, of course, and not all people who display a lack of empathy or sympathy are necessarily autistic, but it's another thing to consider. While I like to think of myself as being a bit too empathetic, there are many times where I've appeared selfish and too caught up in my own head/feelings to regard other people's feelings or how best to approach being there for them. It's not because I don't care for them, it's just that I'm so caught up in my own thoughts and how I'm feeling that I often don't think twice about how someone else must be doing - and I'd say it's the same for Hermione, because while she doesn't seem to feel particularly strongly either way about Lavender in PoA, we know she definitely cares for Ron because he's one of her best friends (and love interest but if anything it was probably more a crush than anything else in third year)

Some more things that I'm too exhausted to discuss properly because I'm suffering severe burnout right now:

Hermione is very blunt and to the point, she doesn't sugarcoat things or mince words at all

It's mentioned that she talks very fast, to the point where during their first interaction Harry's like "did she even breathe during that speech?!?!", which is usually what I do when I infodump on people because I want to get all of my words out before I'm interrupted or forget them

An extremely good memory, she remembers so much of what she reads in books; the only reason I don't think it's photographic is because she read about Flamel and then later didn't remember it immediately when the trio were searching for information on him until Harry found him mentioned on the back of Dumbledore's Chocolate Frog card.

It's worth mentioning that she panics in dangerous situations and seems to forget things; "oh we don't have any wood to build a fire", for example, and then Ron had to remind her that she's a witch and can literally just use magic - something you'd think she'd remember given that she not only set Snape on fire that year but also created flames to put in jars during the winter

Hermione seems to be brilliant at spells and magic that require precision, but then she struggles with spells/magic that require some creativity and imagination like the Patronus charm - she's a logical thinker and so struggles with emotional charms

This links to what I said above about a lack of sympathy/empathy and her struggle making friends, but she definitely lacks social awareness; she constantly butts into other people's conversations and business, speaks her mind abrasively, and critically

Hermione taking on way too many classes in PoA, struggling to keep on top of it all, and snapping at anyone who came near her; struggling to manage things is is commonly found among many of us with autism since we can often only handle a certain amount of sensory input before we get overwhelmed.

Her reluctance to even consider other people's views/beliefs, eg. Luna's belief in strange or bizarre sounding creatures. She may have technically been right, but she was rude to Luna about it and didn't even want to consider why someone may have an opposing view. Hermione is so set in what she believes in, and what she believes in is logic and hard evidence.

I also recently found out that Emma Watson was apparently diagnosed with combined/hyperactive type ADHD as a child; while autism and ADHD are two different things, sometimes there's an overlap and sometimes people have both, so it's not outside the realm of possibility that any autistic/neurodivergent traits in movie!Hermione are partly down to this.

I'd be interested to hear other people's thoughts and if people want to add onto this post because it's been a long time since I read the books properly, and its also 1:30am here so I'm going to bed to try and get a few hours sleep!

#hermione granger #autism #autistic #actually autistic #harry potter #emma watson

[eelfuneral]

Tech speaks very differently from other clones. He has a different accent, avoids contractions and informal slang, and uses precise wording to describe things. He also tends to gesture a great deal and utilize almost exaggerated facial expressions, which makes his communication style stand out. As an autistic viewer, this is all very interesting to me because these can all be autistic traits, and since Dee Bradley Baker went on-record saying that Tech reads as autistic to him, I think that we can assume that some of this was intentional autistic coding. Let’s take a closer look at Tech’s wonderful (and very autistic) communication style.

Tech’s many hand gestures and exaggerated body language make sense in combat situations since his face is covered and he still needs to physically communicate with his squad mates, but this behavior also persists outside of active combat and is paired up with intense facial expressions, so I think that there might be more going on. When you are autistic, you are basically born without the innate social skills that most non-autistic people have, and facial expressions and gestures are among these skills. Some autistic people may come across as having a “flat affect” because they don’t instinctively move their faces and bodies in a way that people expect, but others overcompensate for their difficulty with neurotypical-style nonverbal communication by turning the nonverbal communication cues up to eleven. Tech strikes me as someone who has to consciously choreograph his facial expressions and body movements, and due to his intense focus, they come off as a bit exaggerated. He was raised in a culture where everyone is literally a clone of the same person, so his communication differences likely stood out to his peers early on, making him feel a needed to mask them to fit in.

Tech’s formal, precise speech is known in medical literature as “pedantic speech”, which is a terrible name in my opinion because it implies intentional condescension. As someone who speaks a bit like Tech, I don’t do it to make people feel small or intellectually inferior, but I do it because I have a hard time knowing what comes off as “overly-formal” or “stilted”. While Tech can certainly be pedantic, I don’t think that the way that he speaks comes from a place of arrogance. He just sees it as the way he naturally speaks and he likely never picked up on the levels of formality and that exist in human speech. Tech also spends a great deal of time buried in research, and I imagine that he spent more time buried in holobooks than socializing with his peers as a child, so he may not have picked up on their register and slang. He may have gotten his accent from interacting with instructional and research materials where the presenter had a similar accent, and being socially isolated (as both a “defective” clone and autistic child) meant that he didn’t develop the same accent as his peers.

There are a lot of really subtle, cool things going on with Tech’s characterization in terms of his communication style. I’m not sure how much of this is intentional autistic coding or the writers adding general “nerd” character traits (which I suspect originate from people’s observation of “nerdy” people that they had no idea were autistic), but it’s weirdly affirming to see social behaviors that I have and relate to in one of my favorite characters. While other characters get annoyed with Tech (which is entirely realistic, since non-autistic people don’t always “get” why we communicate the way that we do), no one tries to change the way that Tech communicates. They just accept him for who he is.

#tbb Tech #the bad batch meta #autistic tech #actuallyautistic #disability representation

[stararise]

omg my dear friend dr. watson finally sent me another email!!!

they moved in! side note but i'm seriously wondering where the bedrooms are in tgaac's 221b because? there are no doors in the living room??? (unless of course they're attached to the fourth wall) where do iris and herlock sleep

holmes sleeps and gets up early?? 'his habits are regular'???? this is ABSOLUTELY not what i expected

watson thinking holmes couldn't POSSIBLY be addicted to drugs because of the 'temperance and cleanliness of his whole life' lmao

interesting how in his description of holmes, he never mentions, like, colors. i guess to let the reader form their own mental image, on a doylist- wait. WAIT IS THIS WHERE THE TERMS DOYLIST AND WATSONIAN COME FROM. HOW DID I NEVER REALIZE

watson immediately taking an interest in holmes and welcoming the intrigue because of his monotonous lifestyle is so sweet

oh. so that's what people were talking about when they said sherlock holmes is autistic coded. adfbshg watson saying no one would ever go to such lengths and learn so much information about something unless they had a Purpose for it... listen my dear friend sometimes the brainworms just strike without warning!!!

NOT EVEN THE SOLAR SYSTEM FJSGGSGS tbh holmes has so much power to be able to forget things at will

'i could not help smiling at the document when i had completed it' aww

wait holmes is good at swordplay? i never knew that!

'i threw it into the fire in despair' is a very humorous line

absolutely punched in the face by the reminder that the original inspector lestrade is, like, a middle-aged man

'with the unreasonable petulance of mankind' is such a good phrase

not watson insulting holmes to his face! i would be so embarrassed. in his defense, the premise does sound pretty ridiculous, though

*herlock sholmes voice* i'm a great british consulting detective, the only one in the world! fjsgsg that was the only thing i could think of when reading that line

i like how holmes's deductive reasoning method is literally just making a ton of (admittedly, fairly logical) assumptions about people. and it works

i also wondered why watson couldn't simply be tanned from being outside, and then i remembered this book is set in london, england

watson is SO upset over his blorbos being insulted lmao

'brag and bounce!' is such a funny exclamation

#star says #letters from watson #sherlock holmes #you do not want to know the amount of times i typed sholmes and herlock and wilson while writing this fjshvsgs #also. im absolutely flabbergasted that watson thinks no one would ever #learn all about the minutiae of a subject for like. fun??? #i don't think that's even an autistic thing? obviously special interests are what they are but #neurotypical people have interests too

[shinygoku]

Captain Scarlet Headcanons

A man stands in the gloom of an alleyway, lit up only by a yellow tinted spotlight. He’s tall, dark and handsome, and his striking red and black uniform give him quite the presence. The latest in the line of Anderson Heroes and the one tasked with enduring the most gruesome of settings and personal circumstance.

Also he’s gay and autistic, good for him!

Welcome to my Headcanons for Paul Metcalfe, aka Captain Scarlet.

I’m primarily drawing straight from the one true canon source; the 1967 Television Series, with some supplementary tidbits from the Haynes Manual and bonus material from my DVD set. I’m not counting from tie in novels, audio only stories, or comics, as they’re lower in the hierarchy and hard to come by, but if they’re any good then they shouldn’t contradict anything I have here ;D

This is a long post, so I’ll put the cut up here. Great to read when you’re sitting down with a nice drink and/or snack~

CANON INFO

Paul Metcalfe will be born in Winchester in 2036 and the series starts in 2068, making him 31 with change (as his DOB is in December and Ep 1 sure don’t look like Winter) when he’s killed and Mysteronised. That’s really quite sad, but of course, this is a series about a war…

With his December the 17th Birthday, he’s a Sagittarius. The prophecy aspect could allude to the occasionally remembered Mysteron Sense he has? Key traits mentioned include (Positive) Idealism and generosity, and (Negative) pronounced impatience and being shockingly blunt. These all fit nicely with our man in red here.

I ain’t sufficiently interested in Military crud to rehash it or try to put my own spin (I had to look up what a commission is in that context and I still only half get it!), same applies with Academic stuff, so for both them I’ll let the bio provided in the Haynes Manual cover it lmao

“Background: From a long-serving military family. Trained at West Point Military Academy. Following completion of degrees in technology, history and mathematical application at Winchester University joined World Army Air Force as private, rising rapidly to colonel through inspiring capacity to command and military professionalism. Having noted qualities of leadership, strategic thinking and dedication to duty, approached by Spectrum selection committee to become leading field agent. Commission accepted immediately.”

Yeah, the main characters of Anderson shows go real hard on the expansion pack pasts, I’m unsure how hilariously over the top it is compared to the 5 Tracy Boys but they weren’t shy about making the leads Cool and Experienced!

Also from the Haynes manual, instead of Personal Interests like most’a the other cast members, there’s a Special Note. It strikes me as a bit more cold and impersonal than what the Show has, and take it with a slight pinch of salt, but I’ve got it transcribed as written:

“After reconstruction by Mysterons following death in car crash and subsequent fall from tall structure, replica accepted as serving officer having completed extensive tests revealing capacity for retro-metabolism and loss of Mysteron influence.” 

Well anyway, that covers the Canon info, it’s limited but pretty interesting for what it’s worth. Below is another short bio, this one from my DVD set (the info presumably having been provided in Annuals prior).

HEADCANONS 

As ya can see in the Marital Status section, he’s Single. I shall make the bold statement too that he’s gay but possibly isn’t consciously aware of that …yet? He can see when a girl is pretty but he doesn’t React much to it, and none of the interactions he does have with ladies is romance coded. In fact, when Linda Nolan pretty strongly implies attraction he literally says: “Thank you. Let’s go, Adam!” –  I really think he didn’t Twig her intent and then he’s instantly getting Blue’s attention instead XD ~ But he does have stronger and more diverse interactions with other guys, especially Blue ;3

I think he’s autistic but good at masking – even before being Mysteronised his resting face is very unexpressive and his seemingly sincere bidding of good luck sounds quite flat. Other factors include the above mentioned focus on professionalism but deviating when his principles are challenged or things aren’t going to plan, plus how he spends free time in a quiet environment and mostly hanging out with Blue when given the chance. Also, again his canon Good At Academic angle. I expect he thrives fairly well in the pseudo military environment as it provides structure, routine and clear rules (Though he will disregard those when he’s being particularly spicy!).

Can be stubborn and impatient (noticeably uses a louder voice when re-asserting something), and isn’t the best at hiding his thoughts. Otherwise seems to have a stiff upper lip and good nerves. Slight hints of arrogance on occasion but strongly principled. He’s got a dry and sardonic sense of humour.

Mostly very professional but he’s not “on” all the time. Sitting at his Boss’ desk with his feet up on the desk as he Vibes is the oddest example, yet it doesn’t feel shockingly out of character. I’ve noticed he sits weird in many scenes too, sometimes his ankle rests on his knee, propping his feet way up on White’s desk, or sitting in a chair sideways (can file under gay / autistic traits / omg he just like me fr), and states in Spectrum Strikes Back that he enjoys the quietness of nature with less people around too (he’s SO real !!) Like when he needs to cool off in White as Snow it’s the little flower house on the Promenade Deck he picks to gaze out into the blue yonder.

I like the idea that Agent Blake from the Secret Service is his grandfather (Meta: the Captain Scarlet puppet was reused for the role), personally I see it working better as him being Paul Metcalfe’s Maternal Grandpa. As for the Paternal line, that’s where several generations of Military dudes comes from :T –  At least the Blake personality may explain where Scarlet got the history and maths nerd interests, Blake does have that bookish vibe rather than a strong presence.

Seeing how his Mysteron Sense manifests as Nausea, I think he gets motion sick more easily than a Pilot and Guy who drives Armoured Tank-Cars Backwards ought to… so he wears Pressure Bands to alleviate the sickness response (but the Mysteron Sense may bypass that, being psychic rather than motion based). I know it’s in part due to the puppets but he sure seems to prefer wearing high necked, long sleeved shirts, be it uniform of civvies (And well, 60’s fashion be like that too lol, maybe he’s a smidge Trendy!).

MYSTERONISATION & RETROMETABOLISM

Ok, so as one of the first to be Mysteronised, it feels like the Mysterons were themselves experimenting with how their duplicates were going to be. Black seems to be forcibly possessed with his personality overridden, and both Brown and Scarlet are killed in a car wreck fireball to be copied. 

While Brown was used to be a suicide bomb, Scarlet was used to try to take the President alive instead. Scarlet’s second death was from being shot in the chest and then falling maybe 10,000 feet (idk distances. It was REALLY really high!) to a presumably gory landing. However, after they get his remains back at base, they’re shocked to discover him showing signs of life again and his body reverts to his as-new form after the first Mysteron Reconstruction, but instead of being a pawn of the Mysterons, this time Scarlet is back to his original body’s personality, and that’s how he stays thereafter. I theorise that as he was an early draft, the Mysterons didn’t have the expectation that the healing factor they installed would be that potent, nor did they put in a way to Keep their programming after said death. That, or they did want to have a worthy opponent in their ongoing war of nerves… But yes, Scarlet remains completely unique as both a Reconstruction (effectively a clone of Paul Metcalfe [re]born at 31 with all his memories before the explosion-death intact), but also one with free will and unlimited healing powers that bring him back from death multiple times.

The Mysterons presumably don’t install a healing factor into the Mysteronised Drones thereafter, though they are harder than normal to kill, with High Voltage Electricity being the only surefire to kill them, and presumably would permakill Scarlet too. They are also unable to be X-rayed, instead being opaque on such photographs.

But yes, the grisly central premise of the show is that even though Scarlet can indeed be killed, he won’t stay down forever. Though he’s Indestructible, that’s from the healing power repairing injuries and reversing death rather than a Superman-esque bulletproof skin (the opening of the show features this only for brevity lol, the episodes themselves stick to the rules). Nope, it’s even explicit that he feels the pain of injuries and dying each time! That’s rough, buddy! 

A much lesser side effect of being a Mysteronised Clone is the “Sixth Sense” Mysteron sensing response that the writers sometimes forget about, where Paul feels nausea when another replicant is nearby.

The healing power is called the same term that the Mysterons use to recreate destroyed matter: Retrometabolism. And now I’ve recapped the origin and summary, I wanna dig in to the headcanoning part that they show sadly didn’t make enough time for… >:3c

🟢👁👁🟢

Here’s how I think Retrometabolism works for Scarlet specifically: In the event of injuries, the wound in question will get healed pretty quickly. The smaller the wound, the faster it heals, but even something like a broken leg or bullet wound will still leave no scar tissue or residual effects after the process is complete. However, if he’s been killed, then the Retrometalbolism probably focuses first on his most major organs to get his body restarted as swiftly as possible, with lesser injuries coming afterwards. 

I also imagine if the cause of death was something like being shot, the Retrometabolism will also force the bullet out, assuming it got stuck in his body. If he was poisoned, it would purge and/or neutralise this before getting his body back online. If he had brain damage from either the direct cause of death (hello, Operation Time!) or as a side effect of his brain being starved of oxygen, that damage will be waved away all as part of the package. It also seems he’s immune to disease, a hypothesis actually observed in Place of the Angels. I think he must also be immune to the harmful effects of Radiation, or at least that the death and rebirth would cleanse any lingering sickness.

However, the more grisly his death, the longer it will take to heal. I reckon the only way to speed up the Retrometabolistic process would be for surgical intervention to essentially do as much clean-up as possible so the Retrometabolism can ‘focus’ on the regeneration part. For this reason I think being riddled with bullets would probably be a simpler process than the times Scarlet is caught in an explosion, or some of the potentially-canon situations shown in the end credits which vary from a stock Pulp hazard (Dynamite, being thrown out of a speeding car, threatened by a cobra) to honestly quite nightmarish (the walls of spikes, the swamp/quicksand, being about to be run over by a tank, the impending inferno as he trips on a burning beam….), and the end credit scenarios offer an underrated facet of Spectrum.

It’s easy for bad faith takes to dismiss the dynamics of Scarlet as “the guy who always dies” and the other Spectrum officers as being surplus to requirements, but that’s a reductive and daft way of looking at it. Instead why don’t we focus on how much interest and (for lack of a better term) variation in strategy it offers when one member can offer to make the riskiest plays, in the safety not of having regenerative powers, but the assurance that there’s backup to retrieve him and look after him while he’s completely helpless. Like, in the Shark picture, I think the threat is much less the toothy fish, but instead that Scarlet is doomed to be stuck underwater, maybe ready to return to life but without outside assistance unable to do so without drowning all over again. There would be a lot of trust and courage needed in these situations, not to mention how deeply unpleasant it is for humans to be around a dead body that may also be in quite a state, so it’s a strange sort of sweetness that Scarlet has all this back up when needed.

I also feel it’s worth mentioning my headcanon on the mysterious case of the Two Scarlets - OG Human who is perma-dead and the Mysteron version with Retrometabolism. First of all, while it happens entirely unmentioned and offscreen, I expect Spectrum New York dug around the crash site a bit more after reporting Brown’s corpse and then found Scarlet’s. This body is presumably in a morgue, perhaps cremated or buried but perhaps not. Presumably it’s Scarlet’s call to make…

I don’t think there was any personality change at a core level between the Scarlets, though if he got more moody or distant or whatever I don’t think anyone can hold it against him! But in part of their accepting, embracing even, of Mysteron!Scarlet, I feel like his Self would remain how it was, with the caveat of the new tactical routes opened by the indestructibility. 

And, while the headcanon train chuffs along, I guess I can wonder how long Retrometabolism will last with the Scarlet we know and love? Will repeated use ever cause it to fade, or is it as unshakable like the movement of planets? Will it prevent him from aging, each death reset bringing him back to 31 physically, or will it see him into twilight years? If the Mysterons were defeated, would the power be taken away with them, or eased off as their influence fades like a memory? It may depend on how the Mysterons were to be beaten, or come to a peaceful agreement. If they could strip it from him, then their keeping it active for their recurring counter may add fuel to the idea they’re playing a game and need specific pieces to always be in play.

In that regard, I only have questions. But puzzling out and solidifying my interpretations of this fine fellow has been a lot of fun, and even after I finish editing this, and after I’ve posted it, something else is sure to occur to me to mull over! This show deserved to be longer, but everything it gave me is cherished, and at the heart of that is this autistic gay king. He’s intriguing and, of course, indestructible!

🌈🚀🌟

#Captain Scarlet #Captain Scarlet and the Mysterons #Supermarionatiion #60's Sci Fi #Thunderfam #CutCat Headcanons #Long but that's what happens when there's so much to Say! #It's pride month so why tf not post about Spectrum personnel? ;3c #I was toying with the idea of talking about headcanons for the show as a whole but I wanted to start with Paul and well...! #If the first picture scares anyone then please refer your complaints to the local bin :P #hopefully it's just me being paranoid that Autistic Headcanons are taken poorly among certain types :v #Edit: Have now fixed a date that I typo'd. no other changes made

[s3x-repulsed-warnings-and-recs]

Shows that I’ve watched with none-to-few sex scenes

(Part 1)

Merlin (2008)

- No sex scenes in the entire series

IMDB Summery: These are the brand new adventures of Merlin, the legendary sorcerer as a young man, when he was just a servant to young Prince Arthur on the royal court of Camelot, who has soon become his best friend, and turned Arthur into a great king and a legend.

Reasons I liked:

- its gay (in my heart and in the magic metaphor)

- slow burn enemies to best friends (to lovers /j)

- kinda spooky sometimes ??

- homophobic (magic metaphor) dad gets what he deserves 

Criminal Minds (2005)

[I do not recommend this show if you are triggered by discussion or depiction of sexual assault, or excessive violence. There’s a list of episode specific warnings at the bottom of this section. ]

[if you're looking for an episodic investigative type show with a much more funny and light-hearted tone that also has an autistic coded main character with the name Spencer (insert doofenshmirtz nickel meme here), Psych is pretty great]

- many episodes revolve around sex related crimes but these can be easily skipped over without missing many plot details

- some implied scenes where people have sex- characters kissing very passionately -but there are few and can be easily skipped over without missing many plot details

IMDB Summery: The cases of the F.B.I. Behavioral Analysis Unit (B.A.U.), an elite group of profilers who analyze the nation's most dangerous serial killers and individual heinous crimes in an effort to anticipate their next moves before they strike again.

Reasons I liked:

- its an anthology (I love anthologies)

- good actors playing interesting characters

- spencer reid is asexual and no one can convince me otherwise

TWs: this is a list of possible triggers relating to harm to children, harm to animals, and sexual assault for each episode. I pulled it from a comment on reddit by u/princessgalaxy43 on this post. I’d also recommend taking a look at Does The Dog Die?’s page on Criminal Minds before you watch.

Literally any cartoon that is targeted at kids

My Recommendations:

- Dead End: Paranormal Park

IMDB Summery: Two teens and a talking pug team up to battle demons at a haunted theme park and maybe even save the world from a supernatural apocalypse.

Reasons I liked:

(I haven’t finished it yet I’m sorry)

- its gay & trans!!!

- spooky

- neurodivergent rep

- The Owl House

IMDB Summery: Accidentally sent to the world of the Boiling Isles before a trip to summer camp, a teenage human named Luz longs to become a witch, with the rebellious Eda and pint-sized demon King at her aid.

Reasons I liked:

- its gay

- I relate to the characters 

- cool magic system

- also a cool magic school that isn’t homo/transphobic

- character development

- Gravity Falls

IMDB Summery: Twin siblings Dipper and Mabel Pines spend the summer at their great-uncle's tourist trap in the enigmatic Gravity Falls, Oregon.

Reasons I liked:

- it’s gravity falls

- cool villian

- ~mystery~

- nice sibling duo

- Steven Universe

IMDB Summery: A team of intergalactic warriors fights to protect the Earth, but the combination of three highly trained beings and one quirky young boy leaves the team struggling to overcome the dangerous scenarios that are put in front of them.

Reasons I liked:

- it’s gay

- there’s banger music

- steven is the sweetest person on the planet

- Infinity Train 

(highly recommend, it’s underrated)

IMDB Summery: Various people find themselves on a mysterious train with an endless number of cars, each one being its own universe, and they must find a way to get home in this animated anthology series.

Reasons I liked: 

- interesting concept

- good characters

- cool character design

- it’s an anthology (i love anthologies)

-  Over The Garden Wall 

(also highly recommend, also underrated but probably because it’s a limited series)

IMDB Summery: Two brothers find themselves lost in a mysterious land and try to find their way home.

Reasons I liked:

- cool character designs

- elijah wood can voice act ?!

- singing frog

- villian is an eldritch horror

#asexual #sex repulsed #tv #tv shows #tv recommendations #lgbt #lgbtq #ace #merlin #bbc merlin #criminal minds #over the garden wall #infinity train #steven universe #gravity falls #the owl house #dead end paranormal park #asexual friendly #ace friendly

[insanepoll]

alex kralie propaganda time. he's the og youtube horror antagonist, and his series is one of the foundations of the slenderman we all know and love(?).

he was a film student (strike one) that got stalked by the operator (slendy) until he went so crazy that he killed all of his friends, and the ones that survived, he spent the rest of the series trying to kill. he's homoerotic and covered in blood and his religious symbolic undertones are just off the charts. he's so autistic coded, which i think is just fun. and he has the additional bonus of looking so incredibly normal at first glance.

anyway vote ALEX KRALIE !!!!!!!

!!!!!

#insane character poll #asks #anon talks #alex kralie #marbel hornets #mouthsfullofsharpteeth

[notwantedonthemoon]

Noyes family designs: part four

It's the one! The only!

Mr. Ham 'Missed-Potential' Noyes.

I think he’s funny.

Please feel free to ask me about this guy so I can seethe about the character we should have gotten out of him (though I do like him as is; I'm glad we got a Disney princess/manic pixie dream girl/scientist character all bundled up into one. He's also the most autistic-coded character I've read since the days of *checks notes* every single L. M. Montgomery book).

He had an absolutely stellar introduction in my English class. The teacher said that he’s probably ace and I’ll raise one better; he can be ace AND aro.

I need to start writing analyses on these things.

Character design notes:

�� In the top right corner I had to draw Mrs Noyes (and a younger version of her) as a point of reference. Although Ham’s personality is a pretty even mix between both his parents, I think he looks a lot like his mom; throughout the story, he kind of acts like a lowercase Mrs Noyes.

• I never pictured him with glasses but a bunch of my classmates did and I slowly absorbed that idea into my brain. I imagine that he doesn’t actually need glasses (which irritates everyone endlessly- “what do you mean you don’t need glasses? You read thirty hours a day”), he just thinks they look neat.

• The braid is inspired by Claudia from the Dragon Prince. They’re very different characters who probably wouldn’t get along in any way but something about these two strikes me as similar.

• One thing that always baffles me about his design is why he just randomly grows his hair out some time in the middle of the book and how that is… never elaborated on. I will never get an in-universe explanation about this very minor detail but it will haunt me forever. (I think it’s so that Emma can practice hairstyles on him).

• I do think that in a movie or TV show having a character grow their hair out is a pretty nifty way to remind the audience about the passage of time- which was actually the inspiration for the scars in his design (along with his general tendency to wander around in woods and stick his nose into anything that interests him). In a TV show adaptation of Not Wanted on the Voyage (god I wish), I want this guy to be the designated calendar character. You can tell which episode you’re on just by looking at a picture of him.

• NO inspiration from the musical designs for Ham OR Lucy. Musical Lucy looks unfortunately like Edward Cullen and although the decision to have Musical Ham channel the energy of a Disney Channel nerd who gets shoved into lockers is one I can respect, it is not one I can agree with. They should have made him channel the energy of, like, Princess Aurora instead.

• If I’m remembering correctly, those two share some resemblances, like a love for nature and a concerning willingness to marry a tall dashing stranger they met in the woods after knowing said tall dashing stranger for, like, two hours…

• There WILL be a return of those ridiculously coloured sleeves for other characters. Lucy has a whole trousseau chest of fancy silks and fabric. There is no way the Lower Deck squad didn’t cut some of them up for clothing repair purposes.

• Those colours are entirely intentional. By the way. If you’re drawing and struggling with picking colours to use for clothing, just search up various pride flags. Works like a charm.

#not wanted on the voyage #art #timothy findley #character design #character illustration #digital art #small artist #book analysis #character analysis #aromantic flag #asexual flag #nonbinary flag #aromantic #putting that last tag in there because colours in tags bring me joy #asexual #oh my gosh that one too? I am in heaven #Princess Aurora #Briar Rose #Speedrunning through tags to see which ones have fun colours #the dragon prince #claudia the dragon prince #Autistic character #listen #LISTEN. It’s never explicitly stated but I can back this up. Alright. Though this next one should be more accurate: #Autistic coded character #The twilight saga #edward cullen #Those last two get to stay because I’m mad neither of them have fun colours. Really? They don’t even sparkle? Disgrace.