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razzzletazzle · 10 months

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title: Jacob's Ladder (read on ao3)

rating: G

summary: Digging for scraps in order to survive another barren winter, the boys find something far more precious than a space heater. The baby they pick up might not keep them warm, but he gives them something far more important: a reason to fight for the future.

inspired by this amazing art by @tapakah0 !

Dawn crawled into morning, sun peeking over the horizon, shining pale light on the razed town. Mounts of piled destruction littered the broken streets, heaping around the cracked and folded-together asphalt. Homes stood here, once, but now only skeletons remained, a glimpse of a simpler past found in the bright pink bike handle peeking out from under fallen walls, its purple glitter tassel rustling in a barely-there breeze.

Leo dug his hands deeper into the pile of debris he was sitting on. Sharp edges threatened to nick his hands, but he ignored the almost painful scrape against his scales.

Winter was almost at their doorstep, Autumn rolling further into dark, further into cold. Barely any snow fell anymore, but the nights and days had gotten more cutting, the cold had grown sharper teeth. If they wanted to make it through the coming season, they needed supplies. Clothes, blankets, machinery that Donnie could fix up or use to make new, better ones. Anything that would keep them alive and, if they were lucky, somewhat comfortable.

Rays of sun filtered from behind wispy clouds, finally finding him and his brothers. They brought him no warmth.

Leo tossed a broken phone – snapped clean in two and hanging on by force of will alone, the top and bottom parts crushed up almost past the point of being recognizable – over his shoulder. It clattered down the hill and onto the street below, where it either lay still, flat at the bottom of the pile, or disappeared into one of the giant cracks in the road. The noise echoed, only for a moment, and then all was quiet again, the only sound the scraping of concrete as their two strongest moved giant slabs out of the way, and the grind of small stones, wood, and whatever else was buried in the pile where he and Donnie were digging for scraps.

It was dull – almost oppressive, the silence that clung to his family. To himself, too, now, far too often. Sure, they still laughed, they still found comfort in each other, they were still there, but it was almost like they were muted, and Leo's fingers itched to turn the brightness back up. The need to speak, to fill the unbearable quiet, bubbled in his chest and clawed up his throat. Sometimes Leo ignored it, this pressing urge, swallowed it back and pushed it down, hoping it would settle and ease. But sometimes he couldn't suppress it, the sight and lack of sound too heavy to endure.

A laugh, at the very least, would sound heavenly right now.

So he sighed, and he groaned, drawn-out and grossly exaggerated, and tossed his head onto his shoulder to look at Donnie, working diligently next to him. Leo's arms were still buried, half-way up to his elbows, in the debris.

"There's nothing but junk here."

He might've counted the familiar pull of Donnie's scowl as his first, small step towards victory, if Donnie's tone wasn't so tight.

"Of course it's all junk." Leo twitched at the edge that sharpened the words. "But it's your job to find the parts that aren't total scrap and give them to me so I can decide whether it's usable or not."

"I've done this before, you know," Leo muttered, and saw Donnie's scowl deepen out of the corner of his eyes. "I'm just saying, we've been at this for thirty minutes and we've found zilch."

There was a comment curling around Donnie's lips, Leo could tell, a rough dismissal, saying Leo just wasn't looking hard enough, then. Donnie probably found some useful things already. Instead, he said: "You have no sense of time. It's been ten minutes, at best."

"Says Mr. Hyper-focus," Leo said under his breath. He pulled at something stuck tight in the pile, wiggled it, and yanked it loose. He briefly lost his balance, rocking back on his heels, and managed to not tumble down. He looked at the piece in his hand.

More junk.

He tossed it over his shoulder.

Okay, new plan. Gauge how annoyed Donnie was exactly and how far he could push this, or if he shouldn't push anything at all, and if he should let the heavy shroud of silence settle back over them.

"Donnie," Leo whined, and watched keenly as his brother rolled his eyes. Alright, not a bad sign. Meant Donnie was in a poor mood, but not a leave me alone or I'll vaporize you mood. More an I need some TLC so I'd like my darling twin to annoy me mood. Sure, Donnie would never put it in those exact terms, but Leo was a verified Donnie-connoisseur, and he knew exactly what his brother needed.

Leo put his hands up and presented them to his still-working brother. They were dark with grime. "My fingers hurt," he announced with a pout.

"Tragic," Donnie said and dug further into the pile. "What do you want me to do about it?"

"Kiss it better?"

Disgust curled at Donnie's snout and Leo fought not to grin. "I'm not going anywhere near those dirty paws of yours."

Mischievously, Leo wiggled his fingers and cooed: "Awww, but Donnie, they hurt! You wouldn't leave your only twin to suffer!"

He lunged, shoving his hands into Donnie's face, relishing the shriek he drew from his twin.

Donnie spluttered, pulling away sharply and trying, futilely, to keep Leo at arm’s length. He bared his teeth, fangs glinting, and snapped at Leo's squirming fingers straying too close to his mouth.

"So mean, Don-Don!" Leo whined around a laugh.

"If you don't get your hands – off! I'll happily be an only twin in two minutes!"

"Awww, that's so sweet of you to say! You think I'd hold out against your arsenal for two whole minutes!"

"Make that ten seconds. Nine. Eight. Seven – "

"Donnie," Raph's voice came, tired but still fond, from a little way behind them. "Don't threaten Leo with fratricide."

"Then he shouldn't– !" Donnie made another attempt to bite off Leo's wriggling fingers. "Tell him to stop! And that he needs a bath." To Leo, he said with a glower: "You stink worse than the sewers."

"Like you're any better, hermano."

"We all need a bath," Raph said as he picked both of them up by the scruff of their shirt and hung them in the air like particularly naughty kittens. "Both of you stink to high heaven, but you don't hear me complaining. So quit squabbling and get back to digging."

Donnie made a noise of protest. "I was working just fine before Leo–!"

Raph shook him once, jostling him and pulling his shirt just so that his arms hiked up, and gave him a look. Donnie acquiesced with a grumble and a stubborn, but meaningless, attempt at crossing his arms, succeeding only in crossing his wrists and accidentally framing his face. Leo muffled a snort.

Satisfied, Raph placed them gently back down. With his feet back on somewhat solid ground, even if it was rocky and precariously uneven in places, Leo looked at Raph. Scars lined up his arms, and there was a particularly gnarly scar covered by his mask where he lost his eye to a Kraang attack that haunted Leo's waking dreams. On instinct, Leo breathed in, but no scent greeted him. Raph had learned, by force of necessity, to keep his scent under control, to the point Leo couldn't smell him at all anymore. He wished he hadn't teased Raph for it when they were younger. It was another small comfort he often found himself missing.

"Found anything yet?" Leo asked. A small frown tugged Raph's lips down and his gaze became troubled, and Leo wished he could take the question back.

"Nothing," Raph said. "Looks like some other survivors passed by here before us, probably took whatever useful stuff that was still around with them."

Leo sighed. “Yeah, figured as much."

"Not everything's been taken," Donnie cut in. "I found a few scrap pieces and wires that'll help me create a heater. I need a few more pieces before I can build it, but we'll get there."

Worry hung heavily off Raph's shoulders, even though he tried to keep them up. He might've gotten a handle on his scent, but he still wore his emotions like a comfortable vest, like pages of a book written in large font, an inextricable part of him laid out so openly for them. Leo didn't think he could ever do the same, and he didn't know whether he envied Raph for it or not.

But worry wasn't Raph's burden to bear on his own, not anymore.

Leo patted Raph's arm and mustered up an easy smile. "We'll be fine, big bro. Trust me."

"Yeah..." Raph sighed. "Yeah, I s'ppose. We always are."

Leo wasn't sure why the easy trust made his chest feel so tight.

"Course we are," he said instead. "So stop worrying that big head of yours, m'okay?"

"My head's not big."

"Raph, big brother, your head's massive, 'cause it keeps growing along with that giant body of yours. You're huge, accept it."

"That's a really interesting way of asking for shell rides, Leo," Donnie said, smirking, because he knew exactly which secret he just laid out in the open. Leo gasped; Betrayed by his own kin, and Donnie had the gall to stand there and look smug.

Raph looked at Leo with big, soft eyes. "You want shell rides?"

"What – no! I mean, yes. No!"

"Awww, buddy," Raph cooed, and the worst part about it was that his brother really meant the almost-aggravatingly sweet tone. "If you wanted shell rides, you should've just asked! C'mere – "

"Raph, wait, no – "

A loud crash from behind them – where their little brother was still working through the pile – had them instantly on high alert, weapons one swift movement away from being drawn as they spun, quick and practiced, ready to tackle any possible danger.

An ugly, chipped mug was raised high above Mikey's head. The gaudy thing was decorated with a round, yellow smiley face in its center, orange and green 80's flowers circling the body. They were scratched to hell and back, but still mostly recognizable. Mikey's grin was blinding.

"Donnie!" he hollered. "Bring out the Poppins bag! I'm taking this baby with me!"

Tension bled out of them in one collective sigh.

"It's called – whatever. You guys will never get it right."

The relieved slant of Donnie's shoulders betrayed his nonchalant tone. He took a small pouch out of his pocket and opened it, tugging at its edges to make it big enough to put the mug in.

"Don't mix it with the clean items," Donnie instructed as Mikey bounded up to them.

"Don, if you want him to do that, you gotta upgrade that non-existent sorting system," Leo said. "Just make sure it's at the top or something."

"You have no idea how difficult it is to create a contained, portable pocket dimension meant for storage, nevermind to create any form of system within such a space."

"Right, yeah, explain that to me again some other time."

Donnie huffed and rolled his eyes. The bag was a project both he and Mikey had worked a long time on, combining both their ninpo into creating a storage space that could hold almost anything. It wasn't endless, but they hadn't reached its end yet, and it'd saved them from a pinch more than once.

Mikey proudly presented his new mug to them. It was even uglier up close.

"Look at it and weep!"

Leo wanted to weep alright, but not as much as Donnie, by the scrunched look on his face.

"It's a cool mug, Mikey," Raph said.

"Right? If I clean it up a lil', it'll be as good as new!"

"I'm boiling it at least five times, I hope you know." Donnie held out the bag.

"Of course! Man, this is so cool, that's the best find I've had in ages! You guys must be so jealous right now–"

A noise, nothing but the smallest rattle, faint but there, drew Leo's attention. He turned to find its source, tuned out his brothers, eyes sweeping across the destruction, a quick survey of the area, but he found nothing.

Another sound, less a rattle and more something alive. Leo straightened his back, standing to full attention, and brought up his fist as he clicked once, quick and sharp. His brothers hushed at once. He moved, trusting his brothers to follow and cover his back.

Donnie scanned the perimeter before they entered the area, but it wouldn't be the first time one of those pink monsters managed to evade the scanners somehow. He'd upgraded them, and upgraded them again, until they had almost no fault, but they'd grown to be careful – couldn't be careful enough – unlike their days in youth where hubris colored their every action. Before the world went to waste and everything they knew disappeared. They'd lost almost everyone. They couldn't bear to lose each other, too.

A piece of rounded concrete stuck out between the pile of wreckage across from them, and another small noise echoed out. A tunnel, then, of sorts, whatever the concrete had once been had made a passageway under the debris. And something was in there.

Leo motioned to it, then twirled his finger, signaled his brothers to spread out and circle the entrance. They assumed their positions without protest, without question, silent and swift. Raph remained at Leo's back.

A roofing sheet covered most of the entrance. Leo counted down from three to zero with his fingers, hand in the air, and lifted the sheet with his sword, but the movement must've displaced something, because a moment later it came tumbling down with a loud clatter, stone and metal grinding their way down.

He tensed, but whatever was inside the tube – and he could clearly see it was one now, reminding him somewhat of the sewer tubes of his childhood – didn't startle and attack. But another noise came, clearly now, and Leo froze. It sounded like a cough. A very tiny cough. And a gurgle. It sounded like –

Leo ducked, without thinking, and climbed into the tunnel.

Black guck covered the bottom. It smelled rancid, pungent in a rotting way. His hands and knees sank into the wet mass. He sucked in a breath and held it, hoping the stench would leave his nose if he didn't breathe for long enough.

He ignored Raph's startled and concerned "Leo?!" and crawled further. He trudged through the sludge, trying not to gag at the slimy feel. Pieces of metal stuck through the roof of the tunnel, but Leo found himself lucky enough to not have to duck under them far enough to end belly-down in the gunk.

The baby looked up at him when he came to a stop close by. His cheeks weren’t nearly as chubby as they should be, and his hair was matted and greasy, clinging to his scalp. Only a ratty blanket covered him, flimsily at best. Something dark and unpleasant mixed with the black guck, and Leo didn't need to see the dried blood on the kid's arm to know what it was.

He looked past the baby, further down the tunnel, and saw a man. His arm was outstretched, reaching towards the kid, face turned towards them. A giant puncture hole was clear as day on his back, as repulsive as it was familiar.

Dead.

He must've died protecting his baby.

"How long've you been here, little guy?" Leo muttered, and regretted it immediately, a fresh wave of rot bombarding his senses. He coughed, covering his mouth and nose with the back of his hand.

"Alright," he said, strained. "You're coming with me."

He wiped his hand on his thigh, clearing most of the gunk from it, even if the baby was dirty enough that another layer wouldn't matter that much, and gingerly touched him. The baby grabbed at his fingers immediately, like a homing missile seeking warmth, sudden enough to startle Leo. He gurgled, big, doe eyes staring wetly up at Leo.

"Yeah, yeah," Leo mumbled, soft. "No need to look at me like that, I'm not leaving you here."

He unwrapped his scarf after wiping off his other hand, and fashioned it into a sling, knot tied atop his shoulder. He picked the baby up and murmured softly to him when he whined.

“I know, kiddo. Just a bit longer.”

The baby fit snugly into the sling, covered from head to toe by the scarf. The baby made a noise and curled his tiny fingers into Leo’s shirt, cuddling closer against him and burying further into the sling. He’d been out in the cold for a long time, it was nothing short of a miracle that the kid didn’t have hypothermia. Leo attempted to cradle him closer.

"Sorry, this'll be a bumpy ride. Hang tight, okay?"

Leo spared another glance at the man. It didn't feel right to leave him here to rot, after he gave his life to protect his child, but there was no other choice. Even if they dragged him out, there was no place to bury him, and no time to spare on it. Not with recent Kraang activity painted in the decay of his body. Leo closed his eyes, paid him respect the only way he still could, honoring the man's sacrifice.

His brothers called his name, their voices thin and sharp as they echoed through the tunnel and beat against his eardrums, their worry thick. Leo turned, and didn't look back.

Leo gulped in fresh air greedily the moment he tumbled out of the tunnel. He coughed, attempting to banish the foul smell out of his lung, while his arms curled around the baby.

"Leo," Raph rumbled, upset clinging to his words. "What were you thinking! You can't leave without saying anything! What if you got – " He paused. "What is that?"

The baby peeked over the top of the sling, curiously taking in his new surroundings and the people around them. Leo carefully took the baby out of the sling and showed him to his brothers. Their jaws dropped.

"Leo– what– " Raph spluttered.

"Why do you have a baby," Donnie's tone was dry, like he couldn't quite believe what he was seeing.

"I found him," Leo said and held the child out towards them. "Isn't he cute?"

"He's naked."

Leo wiggled the kid. "Yeah, but so were we until we were forced into clothes. C'mon, look at 'im."

The baby cooed and giggled when Leo wiggled him again. Leo couldn't stop his grin. That's right, kid, back him up here.

"He's adorable," Raph said and Mikey nodded in agreement, a gentle smile and soft look on his face that Leo hadn't seen in a while. Then, it turned to a frown.

"He's dirty." Mikey looked at Leo. "You're dirty." His nostrils flared and he pulled a face. "Oh, Pizza Supreme, you reek."

"It was full of gross, rotting stuff in there, of course I stink."

"Nuh-uh, no, that's – Donnie, bag!"

Donnie, remaining at a decent distance from Leo, the scent probably having wafted his way now as well, shoved the Poppins bag into Mikey's hands.

"Leo, come here," Mikey commanded as he took out a surprisingly well-maintained towel and a bottle marked Rain out of the bag.

"No, Mikey," Leo protested, even as his little brother stalked towards him and the wiggling child in his arms. "We shouldn't waste water on something like this – "

Mikey shushed him. "If you think I'm going to let you run around smelling like that, you're an idiot. Now, hands."

There had never been any arguing with Mikey. Reluctantly, Leo did as told. The water felt wonderful on his scales, black gunk and slime washing off his hands, then his knees when those were clean.

"Baby."

Leo carefully angled the baby in his arms so Mikey could rinse him off.

"Hold him tight."

A task far easier than Leo would've thought it would be. The kid whined and fussed a little when Mikey poured the water in small streams over him and scrubbed the filth off him, but he was otherwise extremely well-behaved. Maybe he was tired. Leo hoped he wasn't sick.

Leo dried the baby off while Mikey dug a blanket out of the bag – and dropped Leo’s now-dirty scarf in – which he then used to swaddle the baby. The kid cuddled into the warmth of the blanket, and released a body-shaking sneeze.

"Is he sick?" Raph asked, worriedly. His hands hovered near them, shifting around, but never reaching out, as if afraid to hurt the fragile little thing curled in Leo's arms.

Leo examined the child's eyes, nose, and mouth. "Doesn't seem like it," he determined. "But it bears keeping an eye on, to be sure."

"Was he alone down there?" Donnie asked as he poked the kid's cheek and earned himself a gurgled coo in response.

Leo's face fell. "There was a man there, too. Been dead a few days. I think he was the kid's father. The..." he hesitated. "The Kraang got him."

The air turned tense, his brothers grew grim.

"They were here. Recently," Donnie mumbled. "We should..."

"Move," Leo agreed. "Soon."

Mikey sighed. "And I was just starting to like that place, too."

Guilt swirled like the beginning of a vortex in Leo's chest. He swallowed down the instinctive sorry, knew none of his brothers would appreciate that pesky self-blame rearing its ugly head again, not after they'd spent so long picking up and gluing together the pieces that'd shattered after the end began.

The baby shifted in his arms, rolling over and almost careening out of his hold and onto the ground. Leo, panicked, scrambled to shift the kid and hold him more securely.

"Don't do that!" he scolded, but the baby just blinked at him, like he had no idea why Leo had stopped him from whatever little plans his infant brain had hatched.

"Are we..." Raph hesitated. "Are we taking him with us?"

The question was tentative, a glimmer of something Leo couldn't quite identify sparkling in Raph's gaze, but he knew it was soft, and maybe even a little hopeful, but the uncertainty Leo himself felt was clear for him to see. The baby was heavy in his arms and suckled sweetly at one of Leo’s fingers.

"We can't leave him here," Mikey said, loud, like it was already a protest. "He'll die!"

"Yeah, 'course, I didn't mean..." Raph held his hands up. How he managed to always look so much smaller than their little brother in moments like these would forever remain a mystery to Leo.

"It's a fair question, Mikey," Leo said. "It'll be a lot of work. We'll need to find far more food and supplies than what we survive on now - "

"So we're leaving him here just because - "

"Michael," Donnie cut in. His no-nonsense tone always worked best on Mikey, and they watched the rush of a fight leave their little brother. "It's an important thing to consider. This is a child, an entire person we need to take care of. Are we the best choice for that?"

They didn't know anything about babies, all reference they had was from their Pops' stories about their own childhood – and most of that was probably not applicable to fully human children – and some TV shows, which left much to be desired.

Mikey looked sadly at the baby and rested the back of his hand against his cheek.

"Where else is he supposed to go?" he whispered. "We're all he has."

Sorrow frayed at Leo's edges. His brother wasn't wrong – the kid was all alone in the world. They couldn't trust other humans to take care of him, even if they managed to find a group of them anywhere soon. There was no vetting process trustworthy enough in the mess that was the apocalypse for them to entrust the baby to strangers. Leo glanced at Donnie and Raph, and knew, from the looks on their faces, they were considering the exact same thing. Leo and Raph's eyes met, they exchanged nothing but a wordless look for a moment, and then they nodded.

"He'll need a name,” Raph said. Mikey looked between them for a startled moment and then positively lit up.

"I've got the best names! There's Clunk, Cody, Haley, Joel -"

Donnie, a smile tilting at his lips, leaned in, consideringly, and he hummed a melody-less tune.

"He reminds me somewhat of Cassandra."

Leo made a noise that was a mix between offense and confusion, while Raph, looking only confused, leaned curiously closer to the baby.

"Oh!" Mikey said. "He does kinda look like her, doesn't he?"

Leo squinted down at the child in his arms. The baby looked back up at him with wide, dark eyes.

"I don't see it," Leo said. "He's so much cuter."

"He's a baby," Donnie huffed, but Leo could hear amusement in his tone. "They're designed to be cute."

"Which means I'm right."

"No, Leo, look. He does look like her," Raph's hands skated around the baby, one palm almost dwarfing the little guy. He pushed the kid's hair back with one, careful finger. "See?" The baby reached up, grabbed Raph's finger best he could with his tiny baby-grip. Raph melted, smile wide and warm, and Leo's breath almost stopped, stolen from his lungs, because he felt, vaguely, as if the sun had come out for the first time after a barren, endless winter.

"Okay," Leo said. Cleared his throat to rid it off its roughness. "Yeah, okay. I guess I see it. So, Casey, then?"

"Casey Junior," Mikey declared, a new sort of pride lining him almost as bright as his ninpo. "It's perfect."

"You wanna hold him, Raph?" Leo asked. It was easy to spot the building refusal, worry and hesitance pinging back in his big brother's eyes, so Leo, swiftly, and without too much jostling, deposited the baby in Raph's arms.

Panic seized, but only for a moment, because then Casey cuddled closer up to him, burying himself in the safe comfort of Raph's arms, and every bit of tension washed away.

His brothers huddled around, gazing at the slowly dozing baby nestled, like he'd always belonged there, in their big brother's arms. They talked in hushed, bright tones, and warmth sang like a crackling hearth through Leo’s soul.

Picking up Casey might’ve been the best thing he’d ever done.

#this ended up being 4.4k haha #officially the second longest fic I've made in my entire life #I had fun making this!#spent 2 full weeks on it tho lol #razz writes #razz's writing #I'm nervous;;#oh yeah!#the reason I named this fic Jacob's Ladder #is because that's a weather phenomenon #also called sunbeams #it's when the sun shines from behind clouds in rays #and that's what Casey is to the boys

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