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#constructive feedback
saltysplayt00ns · 8 months
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Thought to nicely show this, the repeat of this dialogue and scene, but has no significant purpose of the parallels, except that the author forgot this was done before, adding on to the repetitive scenes, dialogue, poses and many many more.
Usually parallel scenes adds a dynamic, blunt or subtle way to keep note of, as people read the story in either characters, words, plots or scenarios ( there's probably more but these are the few I have seen from consumed work ). In this case, there isn't one shown here of WHY the scene was shown again TWICE, yes the rabbit I can see go for Jahla if she was far off, but there isn't one for Ronja to go look for Roamer since he's a baron, she doesn't need a baron to ask why the members are leaving cause she's over a baron, unless she's not available to give command. More so of that this feels like Ronja doesn't know what to do and asked a baron for help, like what would roamer do? cause if you're hoping to like use intimidation then - yeah meteor has not changed and do not blame them for leaving after what Roamer did to bear dog.
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(top) Ch. 10 - Light in the dark pg. 532 || (Bottom) Ch. 13 - Yearning pg. 762
Instead, It should have been reversed of Roamer and Kargo speaking with each other and saw over the hills of meteor members leaving with packed supplies. Curious and concerned, Roamer asked Kargo to look for Ronja of his observation and will still flow the same way of Why Galti, Javo and Alva are leaving? and wanted to know.
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Another is have the same scene of Roamer and Kargo looking down but roamer they saw Ronja discussing with the members that seems to not be pleasant, adding with the packed supplies went down to check on them.This would build up on what's about to be revealed, it also adds of Roamer quote " what's going on?" to be more better then what was shown. Ronja going to Roamer for assistance and then have Roamer being ahead and asking what is happening should have already been done ahead of the curve. Side note roamer being ahead shouldn't be a problem but there has been too many times characters ( you know who they are ) being ahead of another, being of the one to take credits, make decisions, or lead. doesn't matter if it made sense or logical cause that never existed and everything is done on the page without looking prior or have a script. - Keirr with Aira of taking credit of burning the bodies AND the one to lead the pack to burn said bodies despite not knowing where to place it. didn't help that he lied about them looking for meteor and becoming a family, since he left her in Whispervale and he can now visit whenever he wants, while she's in a tribe she didn't want to be in to begin with. It amazes me Ferah never realized that Aira was literally the beast that caused her to fall and be captured, she's the only dog with that design pattern.
- The SS escaped members encountering Jahla and leaving. Never understand why the son is the one to give why they had to leave and be the one to confirm his own mother that she can tell Jahla. - Rome and Jahla literally, and many more cause there are others who does the same pattern and more so of the " I am concerned and confused why that's put their to convey one thing, but should have been another. "
Dialogue of course needed work cause elaborating more of the undead would've been better along with not wanting to stay cause of the expose barrier, roamer being a baron overall and that they want to move on. people forget that these three dogs despite shown poorly of the trauma have dealt with a lot before Ronja came in after literally 30+ years, heck under 6 months would be a yikes. especially that now we have now burnt bodies coming back and vibing under meteor, would have me packing. Don't even get me started on how confusing the conversation and Vigr telling them they're cowards just to make himself look better, the dog barely did much except be a comedy relief, heck he's not even doing what his role is supposed to be - a pup did more and they're barely a year old 🤦only time he would stand up for Ronja is because Ronja agreed with his idea of using Rogio's scent on Ranach
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I wanna talk a bit later of the discussion of the Undead scene from Rogio going through the Journey all the way until the scene the members left, cause Roamer is definitely acting like a selfish and self-centered dog especially of the Big plot-hole I wanted to point out, but not on this thread.
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love the work but daemons becoming tooo toxic no hate tho amazing writing 🫶🏻
Hi, anon! I’m sorry you feel that way. I’ve chosen to write a Daemon as faithful to canon as I can realistically make him, given the narrative changes I’ve made and the addition of Reader. He’s not your typical ‘good husband’, unfortunately; his canon relationship with Rhaenyra and his relationship here with Reader is founded on a really creepy power differential, and he’s most definitely manipulative and probably a little coercive. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t love with his whole heart - just that he’s a complicated character! I’ve elected not to sanitise his behaviour so as to project the idea that a relationship between uncle and niece could be normal, as I don’t believe even in canon that such a relationship is one we conventionally recognise. That being said, I don’t think he’s a villain by any means - rather, it is as G. R. R. Martin said himself:
“Over the centuries, House Targaryen has produced both great men and monsters. Prince Daemon was both. In his day there was not a man so admired, so beloved, and so reviled in all Westeros. He was made of light and darkness in equal parts. To some he was a hero, to others the blackest of villains.”
I earnestly hope you can find a Daemon work that is more to your liking. Thank you for the feedback!
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nicholasandriani · 4 months
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The truth behind stories, heroines journey, and the war of art: a 1-month plan to pursuing the Artists Journey
Fairy tales are more than true: not because they ” tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell usthat dragons can be beaten. — Neil Gaiman, Coraline In the vast landscape of storytelling, there exists a journey that has captured the imagination of humanity for centuries — the Hero’s Journey. It’s a timeless narrative structure, beautifully explored by Joseph Campbell, that takes our…
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liliesandparchment · 1 year
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I will never understand why people who can show up to read a thousand fucking ton of words of fanfiction can't string together TWO HATEFUL SENTENCES without using asbolutely despicable language such as r*apist, b*astard, half-bre*d, etc NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU HATE A CHARACTER OR PAIRING IT IS NOT OKAY TO USE SUCH LANGUAGE WHEN YOU ARE COMMENTING ON PEOPELS HARD WORK NO MATTER THE AUDIENCE OR FANDOM For fucks sake I want to just chuck some bricks at the deluded fuckwits who do this they should be banned from legally owning a keyboard EVER
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roe-sesandthorns · 2 years
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why do so few steve and/or bucky centric fics that deal with the characters going back in time or surviving ww2, essentially living through the decades, barely mention the civil rights movement? 
like i’m not even from the us and the absence is glaringly obvious 
read more for arguments and counterarguments (constructive)
clarification: no hate, not coming for fic authors; obviously everyone is allowed to and encouraged to write whatever they want however they want. no moral policing intended, just an observation
disclaimer: only valid for long-form fics that have steve and/or bucky as central characters and those that mention other important historical/political landmarks (say, stonewall) but not the civil rights movement
arguments: why authors might want to steer clear 
they might not want to mishandle a sensitive issue if they’re not black and/or us-american 
it is a deep, complex, and multi-faceted part of us politics and society and requires a lot of in-depth research to do it justice
it doesn’t seem important/relevant to the plot or the story they want to tell 
alternate history where the civil rights movement didn’t happen but black people were still given the rights they deserved 
counterarguments: reasons why authors might want to and ways to incorporate it meaningfully in the story 
the civil rights movement went on for more than a decade and the segregation and apartheid was so prevalent before that and the fight for civil rights so instrumental to us history and politics; the ramifications of which are still felt today
the howling commandos had a black commando, of course steve and/or bucky will be closely invested in the civil rights movement just beyond the fact that it is the right thing to fight for equal rights and opportunities for black americans; they have friend(s) who are directly and deeply affected by the segregation and subsequently the civil rights mvmnt 
if the story is even slightly a fix-it (eg: steve or bucky nudging historical events in some way or their presence changing things through time travel shenanigans or by living through the past) then it would make sense that the civil rights movements would be something that would see those effects 
eg: they could make a speech to show their support for the civil rights movement, they could stand with people in protests and demonstrations, they could push to free imprisoned activists   if people are not aware they’re still alive for some reason, they could be a masked vigilante who protects black people during the demonstrations, sit-ins, protests, riots; helps them with resources, etc.
if a political or fix-it agenda (how steve and/or bucky changed the world for the better) is not what the fic is about then just mentioning the existence of the civil rights movement beyond naming MLK and the dates when things happened could do well to flesh out the fic and the character and reiterate their moral fabric as well as motivations 
eg: if the characters chose to not change anything for fear of collapsing the universe(s) then it makes sense to have the people around them be heavily involved, for them to surreptitiously help civilians and protestors, or even if they take no active action, for them to have an internal struggle or dialogue about the movement, the implications, their helplessness, the disgust with the KKK, the police brutality, the opposition by people in power, the disillusionment with the american dream, just a lot of emotions and internal struggles
if the character is in actual or mental hibernation or isolation or something and they rejoin society post-civil rights movement or they time-travel to post civil rights movement, in which case their internal dialogue and context of the political climate, maybe a mention or two by other characters can serve to acknowledge the civil rights movement
if the story glosses over the decades before the 2010s or whatever the “present” timeline is, then even a throwaway reference is better than the absence of it because it ground the story into real events making it more relatable/fleshed out and again, reiterates the kind of people the characters are 
eg: have a mention of the impact of steve and/or bucky on (x, y, and civil rights movement) in the past when someone is discussing them in the future or have them say that they lived through it, they saw it, they had friends who were killed etc.
all of this is moot if the fic takes place in a timeline/universe where the civil rights movement didn’t need to happen which seems more convoluted than reality but in that case, it would help to make a note of how the fic universe departs from real-life events in the author notes just to give readers more context + set expectations
if you’re worried about being insensitive or not getting the tone right, a sensitivity reader might help things 
personal bias/statements: 
i do get a bit mad when fics mention other historical events but not the civil rights movement. it seems disrespectful to me, but that’s my bias 
it makes me feel like something so instrumental like the civil rights movement can happen for more than a decade and it doesn’t even ping the radar of the main character who is a cis white man (which if it were anyone but these characters, might seem like a commentary on how rich/powerful white men are so untouched by the real struggles of marginalized folk)
it doesn’t mean that i think authors are deliberately doing this, or they mean harm, or they themselves are bad people 
not at all!!  
I mean no harm to authors, no shaming, no moral policing! 
I understand that there might be a hesitation to write about the civil rights movement for various valid reasons
I’m simply communicating the implications/subtext/interpretations that the absence whether willful or not can have for the readers 
tldr; if the fic you’re writing deals with characters like steve and/or bucky going back in time or surviving ww2 and living through the decades, it makes a lot more sense for the fic to mention and deal with the ramifications of the civil rights movement (even if it is something internal the character deals with or it comes out through conversation between characters). characters like steve and/or bucky would have affected and would in turn be deeply affected by the civil rights movement. 
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Excelling in healthcare training builds the blocks to a successful and fulfilling career in healthcare. Beyond acquiring essential skills, excelling in training lays the foundation for providing quality patient care, fostering trust, and making a positive impact on individuals’ lives.
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wickedzeevyln · 6 months
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Pamper Yourself with Learning
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When it comes to self-development, don’t go cheap on yourself. Be lavish and extravagant. You deserve an exquisite learning experience. Pamper yourself with golden nuggets of knowledge, mastery and craftsmanship. Be obsessed, and push yourself to the limit and hone your skills to perfection—let your passion create a definition that will be synonymous to your name. Whether sports, art,…
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hannie-dul-set · 7 months
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WHENS THE JEONGHAN FIC PLEASEEE
when i finish it 😭😭😭
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ranjith11 · 8 months
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Don’t say these things to your partner when they’re writing a book | SummitPressPublishers
Don’t say these things to your partner when they’re writing a book 📚 Are you supporting your partner on their journey to become an author? Join us for an enlightening discussion on the dos and don'ts of communicating with your loved one as they write their book!
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yourbestamericangirlk · 8 months
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a drawing a literally just finished <3
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i just got these markets so I'm still figuring out how to use them but I feel like it's going well.
I didn't use a reference, I just did whatever and it kinda works so 🤷‍♀️
also, the colors look a lot more emerald on camera, but it's still looks good (in my opinion). also, I dont know hot to take pictures, sorry
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revive-romantic-lit · 8 months
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The Crow
I stand in my kitchen, meticulously scrubbing the dirt from under my nails and wiping the sweat from my stinging, sunburnt face. I glance out the window above my sink to admire the work I have done today. Young, dark green English Ivy sprouts reach from the dark soil towards my sturdy wooden trellis. At the edge of my garden, cloaked in his midnight garb, a crow peers over curiously. He catches the gentle breeze and glides over to the ivy, landing among them as if for a closer look. 
He turns his head in that peculiar way crows do, and suddenly pecks at an ivy sprout. In one swift motion he pulls it from the recently disturbed ground. Its roots now grasp towards the sun, barren of dirt or shade. I bolt from my kitchen to the garden to shoo this troublesome bird away but, upon arriving he has already uprooted all of my work. Then, as if to only further draw my ire, he looks at me and caws victoriously before flying off.
After I replant my ivy three times, to answer the antagonistic challenge of the crow, I decide to remain in my garden as the sun sets. I will defeat this villainous crow. My garden becomes shrouded in a quiet darkness, almost eerily so. No birds chirp, bugs buzz, cicadas or crickets sing. A peaceful silence I have conquered for myself, now besieged by a single crow.
I accidentally drift to sleep in my silent watch, swaddled by the warmth of the night air. As the sun begins to peek over the horizon, it is not the light that wakes me. Instead my morning alarm is the single, piercing, dreaded “CAW!”
My eyes snap open to see the treacherous crow, parading through his destruction, my work, my peace again uprooted. My rage billows. I lunge forward but I am only met with the cool, dew covered soil. The crow takes flight again, fleeing my garden. But that is not enough. I make a fierce chase. Like a fiend I leap over the garden wall, sprint into the woods, launch off of any trail or path in pursuit of my feathered foe. He flies from me hastily, fleeing deeper and deeper into the forest.
Suddenly I snap back to reality as my rage is replaced with exhaustion. Catching my breath I realize I am lost and alone. My grumbling stomach reminds me I had just exited the fast of sleep but I am now without any food, lost in the woods. Filled with frustration and shaken by the quiet pangs of fear, I throw myself onto the ground and cry. All while that damned crow looks down from his perch, tilting his head mockingly.
He glides down in a gentle half circle and lands next to me. Then he utters a caw so soft it almost sounds like a coo. Fueled by my frustration I, again, make a foolishly futile lunge. The crow, again, flies from my disoriented attack and perches in a tree, but remains in my sight. The woods around me feel strange. The plants are almost alien, holding a clashing complexity not seen in my garden, adorning the roads and buildings, or in the comfortable conformity of my neighbors lawns. A cacophonic chorus of birds and insects begins to overwhelm me, all while the crow inspects me with his apparent mocking pity. I grasp for a stone on the forest floor, preparing to fling it at my foe but the futility of that is revealed to me. I slump down and jealousy observe the crow. In return, heHe in return observes me back. 
As I stand, preparing to desperately wander the woods, he utters another soft, cooing caw. I look towards him curiously, and he flies to a nearby branch a little farther away. Then, looking directly at me, the crow repeated his caw, almost as if it were an invitation. Being truly lost, with no other plan I decide to follow the crow as he appears to suggest. While I follow him, the crow continues to inspect me, looking back in between each flight to a new branch. He moves with a comfortable confidence while I stumble through the woods, tripping over unseen stones and roots that jut from the shadows. He guides me for what must be an hour through the intimidatingly lively woods.My stomach again growls, its gnawing accenting my desperation. Suddenly, the crow bursts ahead. I speed after him and upon catching up, I am greeted with the soothing sound of a gentle creek.
I am surrounded by a quaint glen. The canopy above opens to let in a flood of beaming sun. Flowers, wild grasses, and shrubs bask in its warmth. By the flowing creek, ferns lie in the cool shade. Under their dark fronds a frog sits softly croaking, only stopping to eat the occasional bug that crosses his path. Bees waltz among the blooming flowers accompanied by their soft buzzing. All while insects dance above the water like fae. Despite its ideal beauty, the glen still holds a sense of foreign unease over me. The crow sits in a young but established oak tree. Adorned with a blooming purple passion vine. The vine, while still dotted with the occasional brilliant bloom has gone to a fruit so bounteous the weight bends it down in places. The crow again looks at me and repeats his beckoning caw. As I approach him again, he does not flee or even flinch. Instead with a small, trusting hop he turns to look at the vine and its fruit. The beautiful deep purple of the ripe fruit is spectacular. It is a sight I have not seen since I was young when the vine would grow wildly up my grandmother’s fence. She had a garden and yard bustling with the unkempt nature of a southern prairie. It would often draw the ire of her neighbors. They were quick to complain about the unkempt plants and rabbits that would sneak into their gardens that lived there, as if they had not shot any coyote that would keep the rabbits in check. But they never complained about the hummingbirds that nested in her trees or the lightning bugs that flew from the tall grass at night for the kids to catch. Despite the neighbors’ complaints, she loved it and would take us around the yard to show us what nature lived there. One day in her naturalistic way, after we kids complained for a snack, she showed us how to open the passion fruits off of the vine with our bare hands. 
I pluck a ripe fruit from the vine, and guided by memory and hunger I attempt to open it. I struggle at first, as my memory is hazy and my fingers slip from the fruit. I take a moment to collect myself before trying again, this time the fruit splits open into two halves full of yellow fruit. I scoop the fruit from one half and as it touches my tongue a sense of relief fills me. The uneasy worry that had stalked me all morning in the then strange woods began to swiftly dissipate. As I swallow, a sense of familiarity and peace I had never felt washes over me.
The crow, still looking at me, utters a questioning caw. He looks to the other half of the fruit, then back to me. Then he makes a small hop towards me and tilts his head as if to politely ask if I would share. My earlier anger towards him dissipated completely as the newfound calm overtook me and owing the location of the fruit to him, I offer the other half. He eats it gleefully. I sit in the shadow of the oak next to the creek and eat my fill of fruit, of course sharing with my new friend.
I spend the day relaxing in the glen, listening to the now soothing bird song, watching the insects dance and squirrels chase each other over acorns. I smell the vibrant flowers, touch the smooth leaves, and put my feet in the cool creek. But after a day of leisure the crow swiftly flies to a tree at the edge of the glen and makes his beckoning caw, signaling that it is time to leave. Before I follow I open one last fruit, this time saving its seeds before I eat it.
After arriving home that day I planted the seeds along my trellis where I had futilely fought my friend over the English Ivy. Within a week, passion sprouts erupted from the earth, growing strong and fast. Their beautiful blooms brought hummingbirds and bees that had never visited my garden before. Seeing their success I then planted some Black-eyed Susans, followed by Red Columbines, Milkweed, and any other native plant I could find. By the end of the season my garden was bursting with life. As I relax in my chair in the shade, birds sing tunes accompanied by the rhythmic buzzing of the bees and dancing butterflies. Squirrels chitter along as they eat the seeds dropped by the flowers. Bunnies hop around in the evening and at night fireflies add a mystical blinking to the darkness. And, of course, through it all my friend the crow caws. My now living lawn brings me that same tranquility I found in the glen. Not a conquered silence but a shared symphony. 
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This thought is inspired by the “too toxic” ask, which made me reflect on a few things:
I personally have a very hot, mindfuck-y sort of attraction to Daemon, which is why I love content like this story, and your approach to writing the character. I think that what’s so brilliant about your Terms ‘verse is how you leaned IN to Daemon’s grosser qualities versus dialing them back.
I say mindfucky because my brain acknowledges that he’s super problematic, yet I am still extremely attracted to the character in spite of that. And it took me a while to realize that that’s okay! He’s a fictional character who I’d very much like to get railed by. However, tbh if he were a real person, I’m not sure I’d want to be anywhere near him, lol. The two things can coexist. Honestly, my attraction to this character has actually been an incredibly positive thing because it’s helped me explore new aspects of my sexuality and fanfiction is, frankly, one of the safest ways to do that, in my opinion.
Also just wanna say to other readers who might see this that It is OKAY to enjoy the hot fantasy aspects of Daemon and Reader’s relationship while simultaneously acknowledging that this is, in no way, a healthy, safe, or sane relationship. This content is 18+ FOR A REASON. Adults should know how to differentiate between fantasy and reality, and should also know what their own limits are regarding the content they consume.
Absolutely no shame to anon for knowing what those boundaries are! if you don’t like it, don’t look, ya feel
Thank you so much - I really appreciate this. And yes, to ALL of this. Daemon's not the guy you wanna take home to your parents; MAYYYYBE he's the hot guy you bang one night and then leave forever, because whoa toxic. I didn't want to shy away from this, because he isn't a dream man - that's completely not the point of him. We WANT him unhinged, thanks!
I enjoy reading other interpretations of him as well; I just think I prefer to read him as someone feral and more-or-less amoral, but still adhering to his own perception of justice. What makes him such an interesting character to me is how he exists as a representation of good and bad, right and wrong. He's not any one thing because he can make a nice choice one moment then completely fuck it up the next. Daemyra is hot, but not normal - I question people who fail to see this. Like, they're uncle and niece? He did some super dubious shit with/to her? It works for them, and I've tried to replicate that here, but like you've said, it's not safe or sane. Maybe consensual, and no doubt loving, but not a healthy relationship by any modern or conventional metric. That's part of the reason I enjoy it rather than it being a factor that I ignore.
And absolutely no shame to anyone who finds my work too much for them. I get it! This is a grotty work of fiction, for my grotties who stan grottiness! I 1000% respect people having their boundaries regarding the content they consume. In future, I'm hoping to write some one-shots that are a little tamer in some ways, perhaps a little worse in others, but this one will likely be my token incest contribution to the fandom haha. Thankfully, this fandom has grown and there ARE so many other options out there too, so I'm lucky that I don't feel like I'm doing a disservice to anyone by writing what I feel like writing.
Thank you so much!
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damonp304 · 9 months
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Don’t say these things to your partner when they’re writing a book | SummitPressPublishers
📚 Are you supporting your partner on their journey to become an author? Join us for an enlightening discussion on the dos and don'ts of communicating with your loved one as they write their book!
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michellesanches · 9 months
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Book Summary - "Show Your Work!" by Austin Kleon
The thought of starting a blog has been in the back of my mind for as long as I can remember. Hours spent day-dreaming about spending my days writing about things that are meaningful to me, maybe even inspiring other people with what I have to say. And then, all of the usual thoughts take over – “why me”, “I have nothing to say that hasn’t already been said”, etc, etc. Then, I read Austin Kleon’s…
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Unlocking the Power of Servant Leadership: A Guide for IT Leaders
Servant leadership can be a highly effective leadership style in the context of IT leadership. Read more...
In the world of IT, leaders play an essential role in guiding their teams towards achieving their goals. Servant leadership is a leadership style that emphasizes on putting the needs of the team before the leader’s needs. In this blog, we will dive into the concept of servant leadership and how it can be applied by IT leaders to bring out the best in their teams. Understanding Servant…
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horatiocomehome · 8 months
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Tumblr: we want people to be able to find new blogs to follow so you can find your community!
No not by seeing who people are reblogging from that's not allowed.
No you can't see who people are talking to with prev tags that's not allowed.
No you can't see the icons of the people you're following to know at a glance who's reblogging what and know them better. that's not allowed.
Sorry, did we say "find your community?" we meant "trawl through the endless swamp of the internet so you can reblog funny popular things"
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