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#every 2 years with the same song edit
melooonsstuff · 20 days
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Soldier, Poet, King × Ponniyin Selvan
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ever watch an animatic so many times that every time you see the characters in it in any other context you start singing the song under your breath
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querenciasturniolo · 10 months
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OKAY NO, “favorite” was insanely good. If you wouldn’t mind, could you please write a part 2 for this fic? Maybe their flirting before something finally happens or maybe another car video with them already dating but no fan knows?
oops ⮕ c.s.
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word count: 1.4k
warnings: swearing
summary: chris slips up, and the secret’s out
a/n: i’m so glad you liked favorite !! i changed the idea just a little bit 🤏🏻 but i hope you like it !!! 🤞🏻
{i’m not the biggest fan of this, but that’s okay. i might rewrite this at some point, but who knows 🤷🏻‍♀️}
everything written is completely fictional. the people i write for are written with characteristics and mannerisms that i made for them, this is in no way depicting what would actually happen in real life.
part one || part two
Before you realized what was happening, Chris Sturniolo had made his way into your heart and stayed there.
The few months after the Q&A video was posted, the two of you continued keeping in touch. You talked to Nick and Matt of course, but Chris was incredibly persistent on answering quickly and asking you questions about yourself. It was only a matter of time before the two of you finally got together.
It had been almost a year since that video, and eight of those eleven months you’d been with Chris. The two of you decided early on to keep your relationship a secret from the fans, but with each video you did with them, more edits of Chris looking at you the way he did nearly blew the secret.
You thought it was funny, how he couldn’t control the way his eyes scanned over you like you were the only thing on his mind. It wasn’t just Chris, though. Nick keeping the bit of you and Chris admitting to be each other’s celebrity crush and favorite triplet in the video didn’t help things, either.
Your new single had only been out for a few weeks, and every single interview consisted of the same question.
“Fans have been speculating that your new single, Rare, is actually a love song about Youtube star, Chris Sturniolo. Is this true?”
You’d laugh and shake your head, your chest aching and your heart pounding as you said the same thing over and over again.
“I think the interpretation of music is up to the listener. If the listener wants to believe this song is about Chris, that’s okay. If they want to believe it’s just a love song I wrote for fun, that’s fine too. I personally was inspired to write about the feeling you get around someone who’s important to you.”
The interviewer would then fake laugh along with you, and thankfully change the subject. You hated lying to your fans, and just lying in general, but it was nice to have something private. You wouldn’t mind going public, persé, but you’d need to talk about it first to make sure he was on the same page.
Chris had spent the majority of his time at your apartment when you were in LA, and any time he wasn’t there, you were at their house. One of those times was right now, Nick and Matt sitting next to you on the couch and watching a show you had absolutely no interest in. Chris had his head in your lap with his eyes facing the screen, your fingers carding through his hair absentmindedly as you pretended to pay attention.
Suddenly, Chris sat up and turned to face you, his hair sticking up in different directions and his eyes wide.
“We should go live.” He suggested, Matt and Nick glancing over from where they were sitting with furrowed eyebrows.
“Why?” Matt asked, reaching for the remote and pausing the show.
Chris shrugged his shoulders and pulled his phone out, glancing at you unamused and running a hand through his hair to fix it. “Why not? We aren’t doing anything anyway.” He said, tapping the Instagram icon and sliding over to go live. He propped his phone up on the Pepsi can on the coffee table and rested his head on his hand. Comments started pouring in almost immediately, many of them about the fact that you were on the couch next to him.
After a few moments of silence, Chris glanced over at the three of you with his eyebrows raised. “Are you guys just going to sit there like bumps on a log, or are you going to join me?” He said, your eyes rolling as you scooted more into frame, Nick and Matt grumbling as they stood up and followed suit. Nick sat on your other side while Matt sat on the other side of Chris, all four of you now looking at the comments flooding in.
Y/N WHO IS RARE ABOUT?????
You chuckled and shook your head. “Rare is a song I wrote about how it feels to be around someone who makes you love yourself.” You said, your answer vague as you noticed the way Chris’ fond eyes flickered to you on the screen for a split second before going back to scanning the comments.
well that’s one way to answer a question i guess
it’s about chris confirmed
idk, the verse about someone with bright eyes like stars seems to scream chris
Nick scoffed and looked at you. “How many times have you been asked that?” He asked. You shrugged your shoulders.
“About ten thousand, but I don’t mind. It’s sweet that people want to know. It’s a happy song, they just want to know why.” You said, Nick pursing his lips and humming noncommittally before looking back to the phone.
The live went on for what seemed like ages, the four of you replying to as many comments as possible, the rapid rate of which they were coming in made it near impossible to read. After a while, Matt pulled out his phone and started scrolling through Tiktok, his volume low and his eyes flickering between his phone and the live.
“We filmed our Wednesday vlog today, it’s one of my favorites so far.” Chris said. “No hints as to what it is, but I hope you guys like it.”
Matt snorted at whatever was playing on his phone, nudging Chris’ shoulder for him to look. He did, his eyebrows furrowed and his tongue between his teeth as he watched. You and Nick continued reading the comments, laughing and responding to a few before Chris guffawed and covered his mouth with his hand at whatever Matt was showing him.
He grabbed Matt’s phone out of his hand and held it in front of your face. “Babe, look at this!” He said, all four of you freezing in place as you registered Chris’ words. Before any of you could react, comments started flying in immediately, whether they were keyboard smashes or just consistently repeated ‘I KNEW IT’s.
“End the live.” Nick mumbled, all four of you reaching for the phone at the same time and knocking it off of the table.
“Shit!” Chris shouted, scrambling for his phone and desperately jamming his thumb onto the screen to end it. It was no use—his live had crashed, and his screen was frozen on the image of all four of you staring wide-eyed at the camera seconds after Chris’ slip up, comments still pouring in at an impressive rate, each comment blurred. In a last ditch effort to fix it, he turned off his phone and dropped it into his lap.
The four of you sat there in silence, the tension in the room thick enough to cut with a knife. You finally turned your head and met Chris’ eyes, his face frozen in a wince.
“Oops?”
The silence only lasted a few more seconds before you completely lost it, hysterical, raucous laughter bubbling out of you as you clutched your stomach. The three of them joined in soon after, the four of you near tears as the reality of what just happened set in.
“How did that even happen?! We were doing so well!” You said through your laugh, Chris shaking his head and wiping at his eyes.
“I don’t even know, it just came out.” He said, the four of you finally calming down enough to catch your breath. “I mean, at least we don’t have to hide it anymore.”
You pulled out your phone and opened Instagram.
“Well, there’s only one thing left to do.” You said, Chris leaning into your shoulder as he watched you create a post. “Help me pick one.” You said, scrolling through your photos before he tapped one. You had taken it ages ago, but it was still your favorite picture the two of you had taken together.
“What should the caption be?” You asked, Chris raising his eyebrows at you and scoffing.
“What do you think?”
You rolled your eyes and typed the lyrics out, making sure to tag Chris before posting the photo and locking your phone.
“And now we wait for the uproar.” You said, Chris chuckling and pressing a kiss to your temple. Nick groaned dramatically, catching both of your attention as he pushed himself off of the couch and headed towards the kitchen.
“Oh God, if you guys are going to be all mushy now, could you at least give a warning?” He said, though you could tell he was only teasing. Your phone screen kept lighting up, notifications pouring in from Instagram.
“Well, it’s out there now, I guess. You’re stuck with me.” You said, Chris rolling his eyes as he wrapped an arm around your waist and lightly leaned his weight onto you.
“Yeah, I guess I am.”
don’t keep your distance, i’m not scared
i’m not gonna fight this, baby you’re rare
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slayingfiction · 1 year
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How I push through writing when I don't feel like writing.
Here are some of the techniques that I use to help me write more often or more consistantly when my laziness/depression/anxiety starts to take over.
I watch TV. I don't do it with the purpose of zoning out though. I watch something popular and well-liked such as the LOR or Harry Potter to get new ideas on how I can develop my story and apply their in-depth world-building ideas to help develop mine. Without plagarizing of course!!!!
Zoning out and daydreaming. As I have mentionned before, daydreaming is a huge part of my story outlining and world-building process. I'll stand in the shower, or take a walk and think about how my charcaters would act/react/behave in situations, mundane or not. Doing this gives me a better sense of my characters, and sometimes gives me ideas for scenes I use later on.
Work on writing related projects. These work well at keeping me distracted while still being productive on my writing goals. Example, I have one story I am working now, I made a new language (alphabet and numbers included) to include as a cool and fun component for the book. So, at times when I don't wan't to write, I continue creating the dictionary (very fun, 8/10 would recommend). Also, for the same book, my characters don't work off the Georigian calendar and 24 hour clock, so I've been working at creating a new calendar (harder than it seems, 2.5/10 dont recommend). These are side projects that help my story, without having to write.
Reading. You saw this one coming, I know. Reading is great, especially when you're editing, your writing style will unconsciously change to be more similar the author you were just reading. Also, most importantly, I'll be reading and think, "this story is really good, but you know what story I like even better? Mine." then change to writing.
This one is my biggest life saver!! I learnt about a year ago that sometimes I'll get bored of writing a story, and have difficulty keeping on track. That's why I finished my first book in 2016 and just started editing the first draft last week. The solution for me was to work on multiple projects at once, because it was much harder to be bored of multiple stories. I stick to 2, but will sometimes add a third. This is easy for me, because I have a list of over a dozen series I want to write. Don't abandon one project for another, use them as a distraction/ motivation for each other, so you're always furthering at least one project. I've never heard someone say, "oh no, i accidentally worked on this other writing project for three months instead of the other writing project I was doing. Dammit." No, we're just happy we have written something. Be sure to have well outlined story lines before starting, don't just start writing randomly or you'll reach a point where you don't know where to go from there.
Author/ writer projects. Maybe this is building a following, or community to share your projects and engage with. Tumblr, Insta, Reddit, whatever it is. My hope this year is to start up my website to offer publishing services (editing, graphic design, short writing courses) and build a following as a writer. (See what I did there? Never a bad time to self-promote ;) ) Having your own projects like this will help you in the future when you're going to try to publish and sell your books!
Talk with friends and a writing community. Never underestimate the passion that will burn inside you when talking about your story, or when others are talking about theirs. Surrounding yourself with a positive writing community can be the best thing for you as a writer.
Write or read (your story) every day. I'm not going to be one of those people that say you need to write 1000 words a day, that's a lot. But maybe try for 100? That could maybe only take 5 minutes, and at the end of the year that's still over 36 thousand words of a novel. Or just read your story, and I've always found it helped me get in the creative mood.
Make a playlist of songs that remind you of your characters, your story, or just puts you in the mood to write. Then play it ONLY when you're having trouble writing. Playing it while writing will not help, you'll get annoyed with the songs.
Just really can't do it today? That's okay, take a break. You deserve it. There's always tomorrow.
Does anyone else have ways they push themselves to keep writing? Let us know in the comments!
Happy Writing!
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Here's something mildly heartbreaking :) (my speciality!)
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Mammon definitely cried when MC died right?
• He (along with Asmo) is the character who cries the most in canon;
1.) He cries during sad parts of movies/shows/plays/books
2.) He cries while watch animal documentries
3.) Hell he cried because Beel ate the soup he was making MC
• MC died on a day where the rest of the brothers were (up until that point) having a relaxing, fun day - playing a game to get Lucifer & MC closer together. Their death was definitely unexpected/an extreme shock
• MC's injuries were bad according to Satan? (Levi?) Bad enough that a human wouldn't have been able to survive it. Bad enough that even Lucifer knew he couldn't do anything to save them when Asmo asked him to. That means the body Mammon was holding was........ I mean it would have been a gruesome sight
• Mammon's been spending every day since the beginning of the year with MC. At this point he's already obviously in love with them, they're his best friend, the two of them share a bedroom frequently. They were close
The point being: Mammon held a dying human in his arms and sobbed his fucking heart out while asking them not to die. In front of Belphie.
The point being: Mammon didn't cry when Lilith died. No listen, he absolutely broke down when she died but he didn't do it in front of his brothers. Mammon was the one keeping it together and looking after everyone when they Fell. He couldn't scream and cry and beg like he wanted to when Lilith died because he had to be the strong one, he had to soothe everyone's injuries and fears and guilt, he had to show them that things could be better, that they could move on to a brighter future (shoutout to Mammon's lines in his unit song with Lucifer).
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But you know what Belphie would have seen?
He would have seen his older brother breaking down over a human he's known for months when he wouldn't even cry after his little sister, who he'd known for thousands of years, died
And we all already know what Belphie thought about humans at this time:
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And we already know what he thought about his brothers at this time:
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For a moment there, while MC was dying Belphie would have hated Mammon. Would have felt vindicated for causing Mammon that kind of pain, when he (as far as Belphie knew) couldn't even spare that for his sister.
Belphie would have felt angry and betrayed. Justified for what he said and did but so so painfully hurt.
And then (in s1 of the anime) when the brothers were tiptoeing around Belphie, were trying to reach out to him and act normal after what he did, but were so obviously failing, when there was a distance between them and Belphie that had previously never existed, that even Beel couldn't find away to breach, Mammon was the first to take that step forward and close the distance which prompted everyone else to do the same, to bring Belphie back to them, to show that he was accepted and loved and always a part of them
And I am very emotional about them.
Disclaimer: this is absolutely not a post bashing Belphie or his thoughts/actions/feelings. They're both complex characters and I always love trying to breakdown and figure out what certain characters were feeling at a time by bringing up other moments in canon. If you try to make this post into something to bash Belphie or start dumb discourse I will eat your entire right leg🐸
In addition, me stating things from canon or talking about negative emotions or things characters have done and comparing those things to another charcter's actions/emotions/responses is not me putting down one character to raise up another. Sometimes when analysing characters you have to compare and contrast them with others present in that or similar situations -> doing so doesn't mean I'm shit talking one character. A character can do, say, think, believe bad or complex things -> there's nothing wrong with talking about/analysing those things or still loving that character.
I know it seems stupid to say something that should seem obvious but *takes out cigar and blows smoke* I've been in this business a long time, kid (3 years for om!, 7 years actively in a fandom, 14 years in fandom in general) I've seen things, terrible things
Also, lemme shamelessly plug in my fic because it's related to this post -> Changing Seasons
Ft. Belphie coming to terms with MC after Lesson 16
Onesided Belphie × (unnamed gn!) MC
Mammon x MC being Besties
Belphie & Mammon talking, but not talking enough
Belphie's PoV
Mammon very briefly being an eldritch nightmare as a little treat for you monsterfuckers
Edit:
Huge additional part added because I realised the entire focus of this post could be misunderstood
Ajznxodjfc9enhd7ejx 😭😭😭😭this was supposed to be Belphie's post about Belphie's feelings. Y'all know I love Mammon, but he's not supposed to be the focus here🥲
Usually when I make an analysis post I take evidence from canon and then add it all together to get ✨️The Main Point✨️ of the post.
In this post I had to infer all of mammon's "canon evidence" (via other actual canon evidence) because we're never explicitly told he cried when MC died and we never see his instant reaction to Lilith's death.
Belphie's side of it was however all explicitly stated in canon so I just added the screenshots. Which is why I wrote much more about mammon on this post than Belphie.
But ✨️The Main Point✨️ that I was always getting to and what made me write this post is actually about how absolutely fucking pissed off Belphie would have been because of Mammon. How hurt and angry and betrayed he would have felt that his older brother who's meant to protect him and his family apparently valued the life of some random human over their sister's.
I added the S1 bit because it nicely rounded up Belphie & Mammon's story. Because it proved Belphie wrong. It proved exactly how much Mammon (and the others) valued him and each other. Because he got to see how heartbroken Mammon was when MC died, he knew exactly what it was like to be that heartbroken, he knew exactly what it was like to NEVER forgive that which caused the pain, and yet he was forgiven. And THAT I think more than anything would have proved Belphie's initial thoughts wrong. It would have eased any lingering feelings of betrayal and hurt he had. Would have proved how much he was loved by his older brother.
So yeah, this was absolutely made to be Belphie's post and I don't think I explained that well enough in the original post💀 in my defense i was half an hour late in feeding the kids & getting yelled at🥲
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non-stop-imagines · 9 months
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Valentine
Pairing: Lando Norris x Hamilton!Reader
Summary: In which Lando falls hard and you don't know what to do.
Word Count: ~7.2k words and a lot of smau
Warning: Twitter environment, mentions of an unnamed horrible ex-boyfriend, a little angsty if you squint, crying, proposal, Lewis being the cool older brother
A/N: I did not expect this to be so long. It didn't feel like it was when I was writing it but I guess it got carried away. This was a lot of work to write but I think I caught the vibe of the song. Sorry about any terrible editing I fell asleep multiple times while reading through it because work has been kicking my butt a little, but we Gucci 😎. Anyway, hope you all enjoy! Also I have been LOVING the interaction I keep getting from you all keep it coming! I love talking to people that share my indulgent interests. Love you all!!💖💛💖💛💖
A/N 2: All of the pictures used for the smau portions are all from pinterest and are not my own product.
Masterlist
________
ynhamilton
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Liked by georgerussell and 200,289 others
ynhamilton It's Home Race weekend for this bundle of joy 😘 (Not very happy I'm being FORCED to attend)
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dahamiltons Yn's first post in half a year and it's basically saying that her brother is holding her hostage at Silverstone...we love sibling relationships
lewishamilton Shut up, you still get to look at the cars
>ynhamilton That is the ONLY reason I'm going
Silverstone, British GP, Media Day
   "I don't know why you insisted that I come today. Media days are so boring." You grumble, scrolling on your phone. You look up briefly to look out the window, watching the green roll by and getting a glimpse of the clouds rolling in.
   "Can't the fact that I love my sister and want to spend time with her while we're in the same country be enough of an explanation?" Lewis side hugs you from the adjacent seat and presses a long kiss to your hairline.
   "I wish it was. I gotta prepare for the next term." You whine as you try and duck from your brother's hands messing with your hair.
   "You just started your Summer holiday. Give Oxford sometime to miss you." He starts to reach over to pluck your phone from your hands but you slap them away, giving him a threatening look once he pulls back.
   "I will not hesitate to push you out of this car." You were an expert at making your threats to your sibling sound real, but Lewis was used to it, so all he did was chuckle and settle back into his seat.
   "Always so damn mean." You smile a bit when he reaches over again to poke at your cheek, the response Lewis desired in order to truly stop messing with you. In all actuality, he has been worried about you for nearly the past year, after a bad break up you had with your boyfriend of 2, almost 3, years. It was a teenage romance ruined by the dangers of long-distance and 20-year-old-guy-in-university stupidity. You seemed lost for quite awhile and with being away most of the time, Lewis felt helpless when it came to making you feel better. Lucky for him school has kept you busy, but now that seems to be biting him in the butt.
   The rest of the ride to track was mostly quiet in terms of conversation, sans the occasional random thought, but quiet music streamed through the car speakers to fill the sound void.
   It's been quite a while, years actually, since you've last been to a race with your brother, so you had to get over the initial shock of cameras, voices shouting, and pens being shoved in your general vicinity, all while keeping up with the quick pace of Lewis' stride. The crowd thinned out somewhat the closer you got to the Mercedes motorhome, and you were able to handle the level of attention you and your brother were receiving. Enough to be able to smile at and briefly greet fans that come near you guys. What you weren't aware of in doing so was that these actions would catch someone's eye from across the paddock.
_________
   He didn't hear the question. Every word spoken to him was muted when he saw you smile from across the crowded paddock. He'll never know what told him to look up and into the crowd of people surrounding you and Lewis. How did you know Lewis? Were you his girlfriend? No, that can't be it, that wasn't the vibe between you two as you walked into the Mercedes motorhome, this action clicking him back to reality, having to ask the fan on the Awabot to repeat their question.
   You were on his mind all day, and he's only seen you once. Your wild hair, fluffy and surrounding your head like a cloud. Your mysterious eyes smiling at the people around you. Your lips. Beautiful, full, glossed lips that he was completely unable to pull his gaze from, turned up in an inviting grin and showing unadulterated joy greeting those around you. He was prepared for this to be his only sighting of you for the rest of his life, but then he saw you leaving. Again, in tow of Lewis. Who were you?
Silverstone, British GP, Practice Day 1
   "Okay, so what do you expect me to do while you're out driving? Dad's not coming out until tomorrow, so I'll just be alone." There was that scowl back on your face as you complained to your brother while you guys waited for someone to signal that you could open the door.
   "You won't be alone. You'll be in the garage. You'll probably be too interested in the mechanical stuff to notice I'm gone. And if you do, just harass Mick." It's finally signaled the you guys can exit the car, and you do to more flashes, more memorabilia, and this time more "oooh's" and "ahh's" to Lewis' outfit. You guys make it over to the Mercedes motorhome at a brisk pace, you smiling and waving while Lewis starts trying to get in his zone. This time, though was different than yesterday, because before entering the motorhome, you met eyes with someone from across the paddock, eyes that smiled at you, to which you responded with your own smiling eyes before going inside.
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   "Hey, Lando!" Lando looked up from his phone to Lewis' voice coming from no distinct direction, so it took him a moment to locate him. Once he did, though, he didn't know if his heart stopped or sped up as he felt his chest tighten and his body run cold. There you were, following awkwardly behind the driver, the goddess from across the paddock, the one who smiled at him today, nearly scrambling his brain. You were finally here, in front of him.
   "Hey, what's up?" He tried to play it cool, grinning at you as if he just noticed your presence. He urged his eyes to stay focused on Lewis, but couldn't stop himself from taking small glances at you, focusing on something different every time. Of course your eyes, which he now sees are a dark chocolatey brown. Your lips, which he knew were glossed but now he can see that the gloss was tinted pink and shimmered in the late day sunlight. Your hair, which was pulled back in a low puff today instead of out and reaching toward the sky. Something less obvious that caught his eye was your clothing, more specifically the plainess, the baggy Ayrton Senna shirt and equally baggy khaki pants. It was your shoes that turned it around though, custom Nike Air Forces the color of the Brazilian flag, matching the design on your white shirt.
   "That McLaren looked fast today, man" They share a basic universal handshake as Lando turns his attention back to Lewis, smiling at him.
   "Thanks, but you know, I'm only driving it." They both politely chuckle, then one last cut of Lando's eyes prompts Lewis to finally introduce you to him.
   "This is my sister, mate." Lewis says with a laughing smile and a thumb pointed toward you.
   "Sister?" Lando was genuinely shocked. He has been watching Lewis since he was a kid, how did he not know Lewis had a sister?
   "It's okay. It's not like I go around expecting people to know who I am." You wave off his question and hold out your hand. "Yn"
   "Pretty name." Once the words were out his mouth he wished that talking was like texting or emailing where you're able to read what you're going to say over and over before sending it. It must have been hearing your voice for the first time, the smooth tone music to his ears, mushing his brain and letting anything come out his mouth. Luckily this was mild, he could have said the other thing he was thinking which was "Let's get married and have kids and live happily ever after on a farm somewhere."
   "Thank you. And Lewis was right, you really did do well today, compared to the start of the season." You flash a pitying smile, holding prolonged silent eye contact with him until you all heard Lewis' phone chime.
   "I have to head back to the motorhome real quick. Just stay right here. I'll be right back." Lewis motions his hand toward you in a "Stop" manner.
   "I'm not Roscoe. You can go." You tip your head in the direction Lewis needed to go, your scowl-like neutral face on again. Lewis just jokingly winces under your gaze, looks at both of you once more before jogging off.
   "I'll be right back." You both watched as he moved off in the needed direction, then turned back to each other once he was out of sight.
_______
   "So…" You weren't going to lie, you were simultaneously glad that Lewis had to go and urging your brother to stay put as you watched him jog off. So this singular word from Lando's mouth made you jump a bit as you came back to the present, in front of this boy that gives off a vibe you've never truly felt before. "Uhm…are you gonna be here tomorrow? For qualifying?" You guys were standing in front of the railing at the corner of the F1 Paddock building, so Lando guides you, as he speaks, further into the alley between the building and a the adjacent motorhome of which you did not pay attention to the team, positioning you guys so you were able to lean on the buildings.
   "Yeah. I'll actually want to be there tomorrow. These past couple of days have been a bit boring for me as a guest." You reach down and lift up the pass around your neck. "This was redemption for today. This garage pass." 
   "Yeah?" It was hard not to smile with Lando, especially with the way his eyes focused so intently on you as you spoke, like he was trying to communicate something telepathically that you can't seem to pick up on.
   "Yeah. What happens in the garage is the interesting stuff in my opinion." Your the only one that lets out a laugh, but you could see the amusement in Lando's face as he watches you, eyes not leaving you. "But you know, the driving is cool too."
   "Funny." His voice held the laughter that was hidden before. He shifts on his feet and ran a hand through his hair, the action sort of like bird grooming themself, frantic but still majestic in your eye. "So you didn't enjoy the past two days?"
   "Not exactly that I didn't enjoy it. I just had nothing to do, no one to talk to. Which gives my brain too much time to dwell on some of the things that have happened recently." You were picking stray debris from under your nail and moving your foot to feel the crunch of small rocks under your foot. There was something nagging in your brain, willing you to explain what was bothering you, and at some point that will got the best of you. "Do you mind if I vent a little?"
   "Not at all." Lando's face turned into one of concern, you could see that clearly. But what made this seem different, or rather all too familiar, was that the concern he showed was similar to that of Lewis’ concern towards you when you get too quiet, how his eyes squint, eyebrows scrunch and lips purposefully pull back in a neutral frown.
   “I had a pretty bad break up, just about a year ago,” You look down at your shoes, examining them for nothing. “I was not in a good place mentally. He cheated on me and admitted to me that he used me to go to races. He told me that to my face after I found him with another girl.” You pause for a moment, smiling at the ridiculousness of your next statement. "I study mechanical engineering at Oxford, and when I told him I wanted to do that and go into, like, car development for Formula 1, he said I should 'leave the car thing to my brother.'" You now lean your head back onto the building behind you. “But to some extent it was my fault too. He was so mean to me throughout that entire relationship. He was always somehow hesitant and gung-ho about letting people know I was his girlfriend. He wouldn’t really be affectionate, to the point where I convinced myself that I didn’t want it anyway. And this was early in us dating as well, so I should have saw the signs before it got to the point it did.”
   “Don’t blame yourself for that guy’s stupidity. How old are you, if you don’t mind me asking?” He had a hand placed on his hip as he waited for your response. You did not expect such emotion from a practical stranger as you talked about this. Even from people you considered your friend, they would criticize you. Why you stayed so long. Why you let him treat you like that.
   "21." You look up into his intense questioning stare.
   "And how long were you with this guy?" Lando's eyebrow raises a bit and you dip your head again, ready for ridicule.
   "Nearly 3 years. It was about to be 3 years." You were back to messing with your fingers.
   "I am so sorry that you had to deal with an immature fucking teenager, for that long." That response was… different. Definitely no what you were expecting.
   "Yeah, but I was young and thought that this boy liked me. Like, actually liked me. I was very wrong." You look back up at Lando, now comfortable to make eye contact again after receiving some bit of empathy for your situation. His facial expression was different now, more care, with a hint of what you felt was longing, but you didn't want to assume.
   "Well, his loss." The look shared between the two of you was soft, understanding and interrupted by your brother's voice.
   "Alright right, crisis averted. Let's go." When he reaches the two of you he puts his arm around your shoulders, picking at curly pieces of hair that seemed to have escaped your puff.
   "Was there really a crisis or are you being dramatic again?" You look toward Lewis, swatting his hand away from your hair.
   "Quiet, you." He bumps you with his elbow and then tips his head toward the Paddock entrance where there was a car waiting for you two. 
   "Well, I hope I get to see you tomorrow." Lando flashes a smile at you, finally giving you a visual of the small gap in his teeth.
   "Why don't I just give you my number? So we can make sure we see each other." You say this so nonchalantly that it caused Lando's eyes to noticeably widen.
   "Uh, o-okay." So numbers were exchanged, goodbyes were said and in a moment's time you and Lewis were in the back of the car leaving the paddock.
   "So what did you think of Lando?" Lewis asks you this without looking at you, instead focusing on something on his phone, which clued you in on an alternative motive to his question that you couldn't really place.
   "He was cool. I mean, I guess his vibe was okay enough for me to vent about…'He who will not be named'." You volley his nonchalant loaded question with an even better nonchalant loaded answer as you go to type something on your phone.
 "Really?" You hum and nod in reply, inadvertently ending the conversation between you two.
__________
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 You grab your large tote bag filled with essentials for a day on a boat and prepare to board, but receive a tap on the shoulder before you do.
   "Lando's here." Lewis drapes his arm over your shoulders and tilts his head in the direction of the beginning of the dock where, as he said, Lando was greeting people.
   "Yeah, I know." You give a brief smile to your brother then continue to check that you had everything in your tote.
   "Why is he…?" You don't look at him, you just finish checking and shimmy your way out of Lewis' grip.
   "I asked him." You finally look up at your brother, face oblivious to anything Lewis tried to imply with his face. "If you get to bring friends I get to bring a friend." You give him a wide smile before heading towards Lando, greeting him enthusiastically then being pulled in a tight hug. Your back was to Lewis, so he was able to see the subtle way Lando brought his face close to your hair and took a cleansing breath, as if your presence was the oxygen he needed to breathe.
   "Sure, friends." The words were quiet to himself, and stayed still for a second longer to watch the hug and you two began to talk about something that held both of your attentions and made you both laugh.
_________
    It was getting to sunset as you and Lando rested on a portion of the boat with a perfect view of the sky. Lando was sitting up, leaning his back against the hull of the boat that protruded upwards, trying to regulate his breathing as you laid across his lap, you trying desperately not to stare at him. The day had been full of laughing, playing in the water, eating, deep talks, all the ingredients to make a good summer vacation and now you two were here, an assumption of unrequited love between you two, as the sun fell.
   "Thanks for coming. I know I said it before but, you are the first 'friend' I've had in a while. At least the first friend I'm willing to hang out with outside of an academic setting. So, yeah, I really appreciate it." You were laying on your side with your head resting on Lando's thighs, but after your heartfelt expression of gratitude, you turned yourself so you were looking up into his face. A beautiful face that was looking back at you, illuminated by the dusk light, bright blue eyes smiling with his lips that were turned in an admiring grin.
   "Thank you for inviting me." Lando had to take a moment. If he thought you were beautiful in broad daylight, seeing the light of the setting sun highlight the undertones of your brown skin, making your brown eyes shine along with your freshly glossed lips that he had the pleasure of watching you do, was the greatest gift ever given to him. "I really needed a day on a boat." He had to come back with a witty quip as to not give away how intensely he was observing you.
   "The truth comes out. You used me for a bougie boat day." You dramatically lift the back of your left hand to your forehead, eyes closed so you don't see Lando's smile get infinitely brighter.
   "Yeah, sorry. It just had to happen, you know? What is a Formula 1 summer break without being on a boat at some point?" Lando shrugs and looks out into the vastness of the water among you guys.
   "You've got a point there." You cross your arms again, and look out toward the water as well, giving Lando a window to look back down at you. 
   Silence settles among you two, the sound of moving water and laughter from the group behind you two surrounding you both in a comfortable cocoon. On the outside at least. You both were trying hard to focus on the calming noises of the summer evening around you, trying to relax in the scent of the water and each other, but it was precisely each other's scent that was making you both panic. 
   For you, it was the closeness. You wished Lando was laying next to you, hugging you close. You promptly stuffed those feelings deep down because the last time you longed for that, the asshole cheated, and that's the last thing you wanted from Lando.
   For Lando, it was the great desire to tell you how undeniably beautiful you looked. How beautiful you look all the time. How special he felt whenever looked at him. How he wanted to have you to himself for the rest of his life. He wanted say all this and so much more, but instead he interrupts the silence with this:
   "Have you thought about dating again?" He doesn't look at you. He can't. His body froze the moment the words dropped from his mouth and he knew that he wouldn't be able to move until you answered.
   "Surprisingly, I have recently. I actually had someone ask me out on a date last week. He's in one of my lectures." Your voice was spritely and nonchalant, truthfully answering the question posed to you.
   "Don't go." Lando's answer was frantic and abrupt, causing you to tear your eyes from the water and look up at him.
   "What?" You don't lift your head initially, thinking you might have heard him wrong.
   "Don't go on that date. I doubt they're even good enough for you." He can't seem to bring himself to look at you, because he wanted to go through with this and looking at you will only make him chicken out. You left your head from Lando's lap and prop yourself up so you had your back to the water and was trying to get a glimpse of Lando's eyes.
   "And who, might I ask, is?" There was a hint of frustration in your voice and the way you scrunched your eyebrows.
   "Me! I am, okay!? I don't want you to go anywhere or do anything with another guy because I want you with me." You don't answer, but you allow your look to soften as you wait for Lando to finish. "Yn, I think about you nearly every minute of every day, and talk about nearly as much. I don't know how else to say it but, you are probably the most amazing person I have ever met. And I know this is probably a lot on you emotionally, which is the last thing I wanted, but I had to let you know how I felt in hopes that you felt the same way." He pauses and hesitantly looks to his side to gauge the look on your face, which was not a positive look in his opinion. You had brought your eyebrows together, in a much more subtle way than when you were mad or frustrated, but enough for Lando to notice. A braid had fallen from the bun you created midway through the day, hanging in front of your left eye as your gaze examined Lando's face. And your lips, those lips he's long wished he could kiss, pursed in a cautious pucker that was cocked to the side. He continues. "I'll be alright if you do not feel the same way. I just want to at least stay friends, because I care about you. A lot. And all I truly want is to be there whenever you need me…" You unknit your eyebrows and decrease the pucker of your lips, softening the look on your face which allows his heart rate to slow. "I feel like I strayed a bit from where I was trying to go with th-"
   "Okay." Your answer was quick. You held intense eye contact with Lando, as if looking away would dampen the magnitude of the major step you just took.
   "What?" It was almost comical the face Lando made. Eyes wide with shock and confusion, hair fluffed up from him nervously running his hands through his hair, his whole demeanor childish in contrast to the facial hair sprinkled on his chin.
   "Okay, I'll be with you, or go on a date… whatever it is you're asking." When you didn't receive an answer you just continued, similar to how Lando had. "You're right, this is a lot for me emotionally, feeling so strongly for you. I have tried to pass it off as a friendly affection I had towards you, but over the past, what, like month, I realized that I was attracted to you. And not just superficially, I was attracted to the care you showed me, your ability to make me laugh and help me fall in love with me again. But from my side of it, I thought you were only being nice as a friend, so knowing this is a load off of my mind… to an extent." You shift and scoot yourself around so you are sitting shoulder to shoulder with Lando.
   "An extent?" Lando looks over to you and you look back out into the water.
   "My ex was pretty good at love bombing me in the beginning." You were nonchalant in your answer, as it was something you've had to work to get yourself to realize. The loss of affection you experienced in your last relationship was abnormal but inevitable.
   "Oh. Well, I promise this is not that, really." You look over at him again, seeing a certain sincerity you don't think you've ever seen in any other guy not directly related to you.
   "Okay." That silence settles between you two again, this time while you were looking at one another, eyes flickering to each others lips.
   "Can I kiss you?" Lando's eyes were on your lips while he spoke, ready to pounce once he received confirmation.
   "I thought you'd never ask." You smile then lean in, lips finally connecting. Lando's hand settled on your hip, trying to pull you in closer, getting a strong urge to wrap you in his arms and never let you go, but instead he keeps the hand on your hip. You hand were on the sides of Lando's face, loving the feel of his stubble under your thumbs, smiling into the soft kiss you two were sharing. For the first time in a very long time, you felt comfortable in a kiss. Felt the love and care that was supposed to come with a kiss, not the feeling of what seemed like contractual obligation that you've experienced in the past. It was…nice.
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lando.jpg School Daze 🏫
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ynhamilton Why did you take a picture of me studying?
>lando.jpg Because I thought you looked pretty 🤷😘
>ynhamilton Oh...well you look pretty in the last pic 😚
>girls4yn These two are so cute it hurts
lewishamilton How much studying actually happened?
>ynhamilton Mind your business ✋🏿
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ynhamilton Another day, another podium 🏆 (That champagne pop was freaking hot 🥵)
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landonorris It's all for you baby 😘
>lewishamilton Stop that, both of you
mclaren09 Love that Yn is here to say what we all have been thinking
landoluvsyn LONG LIVE THE CHAMPAGNE POP 🍾🍾🍾
norrisdachamp Look at how happy he is to see Yn, Lando is the standard and we should not settle for less
   "Ria, can I have my girlfriend back, please?" You and Ria were practically skipping toward the long folding table with 4 pumpkins and 4 packs of carving tools that were situated in front of the studio cameras.
   "Lando, I told you before, she's our girlfriend. You get her all the time, now it's my turn." Ria brings her hand to your head and gently brings it into her shoulder, carefully running her hand down your new braids.
   "Don't worry mate, you've got me to keep you company." Max walks over to Lando and drapes his arm over his shoulders.
   "No offense, but I have no desire to kiss you, so this could never work." Lando pats his friend's hand in mock consolation, a small smile growing on his face as he watches you interact with Ria. Seeing your energy, knowing that you used to actively avoid making friends. Ever since you two officially started dating, about a month ago, he has been helping you step out your shell, encouraging you to interact with people you've expressed a desire to get know, watching you build healthy friendships in spheres where you were able to be yourself, and he has loved being the subject of you learning how to be in love comfortably. During this small moment of observation and retrospection, Lando didn't realize that, not only had Max released his hold on Lando's shoulders, but everyone was nearly ready to start filming the video, for which he was supposed to do the intro.
   "Lando love, you okay?" You were on the other side of the table behind a pumpkin, your question, more accurately the words in your question causing everyone to turn towards you two.
   "Yeah, baby. I'm fine." He smiles at you, a contagious smile that crinkles the side of his face and shows the gap in his teeth.
   "Then let's get started!" Niran groans from behind his pumpkin that he's sharing with Ethan, followed by collective agreement from everyone else.
   "Oh, shut up. All of you." Lando waves off the groans and heads behind the table to start the video. He didn't know if Max knew him that well or if it was by coincidence, but Lando couldn't have been happier that he was going to be able to do the video next to you. As all the people behind the camera finish final checks, Lando turns his head to look at you giving you a soft grin and you reciprocate, taking a deep breath relishing in the moment. You two share a quick peck that causes the rest of Quadrant to groan and jokingly gag. Soon, it was time for Lando to start the video.
   "Hello, everyone. Today is your lucky day because we are bringing you a cheeky, little Halloween video." Lando snakes his hand to yours, loosely intertwining his fingers and rubbing your hand with his thumb.
   "Quadrant: Halloween Edition" Aarav pipes up followed by various other voices adding to the discord before the intro is put back on track.
   "So, with Halloween coming up, we all realized that none of us have carved a pumpkin yet, so that is what we will be doing today but with a slight twist. As you can see we are all paired up. Me and Max, Yn and Ria, Ethan and Niran, and Aarav and Steve. So, for the pumpkin carving, the carver with be blindfolded and the other person will have to direct the carver on where to cut. Each team will be assigned something that they have to carve and the person not blindfolded will be given one minute to draw a quick outline. From there, the teams have 20 minutes to carve. Once time is up, the blindfolded carver will have 1 minute to guess the prompt from what they carved. Teams unable to do so will be subjected to a special punishment that won't be revealed until the end of the video. So, with all that being said," Lando looks towards you one more time and smiles. "Let's get started."
   "You're going down, sweetheart." You reciprocate the competitive tone of his words and squeezing his hand before releasing it to get the challenge started.
______________
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ynhamilton Motorsport girlies are the best 🤩😘
lilymhe, riabish, carmenmmundt, and francisca.cgomes tagged
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lilymhe I will get you to come golfing one day
> ynhamilton Not if you don't want to be a witness to property damage
pierregasly @landonorris, tell your girlfriend to stop stealing our girlfriends
> landonorris It's not her fault she's the most awesome amazing person in the who world 🤷
mcmerc I feel like Yn has a special ability as a wag/F1 sibling to have cool relationships not just centered around her boyfriend and I'm glad for her
_________
   "Hey, man! Long time no see." Lewis enthusiastically greets Lando, them sharing a handshake that allows them to pull each other into a hug.
   "I know. I can't believe the last time I saw you was last night." Lando rests his hands on his hips while the two chuckle at their terrible joke.
   "But really, I just wanted to pull you aside to thank you. It's been a while since I've seen Yn so happy." Lewis crosses his arms but holds eye contact, a soft gracious grin on his face.
   "It's all Yn. She's…unreal. It's been amazing watching her grow. And not just in our relationship, but making friends and stuff… Look at me getting all sappy." Lando brings his hand to his hair and smiles to himself. Even he gets surprised with how hard and fast he fell for you, but he has been loving every second of it.
   "Ten points for that answer." Lewis lets out a loud laugh and brings Lando into a quick side hug. "But nah, man, give yourself some credit. I love my sister but she is tough. Your persistence in this relationship truly shows how much you care about her.”
   “I really do. I-I love her. I really love her.” Even Lando is surprised to hear these words leave lips. He never thought that the the first time he ever fully declared his love for you would be to your brother, but it was out and he was happy that it was, and he could see in Lewis’ response that he was just as happy. He made a mental note to tell you tonight.
   “Oh, that’s awesome. You just made me the happiest brother ever.” Lewis exaggerates his response, lightening the mood.
   “Yeah, yeah.” Lando waves off Lewis with a smile that quickly turns to urgency when he remembers something that he wanted to ask Lewis. “When in Yn’s birthday?” It was a quick blunt question that he knew he would have to supplement with an explanation.
   “You’re in love with my sister but you don’t know when her birthday is?” Lewis’ bright smile dims and takes on a hint of confusion.
   “Well, I know we talked about it at some point because she knows my birthday, but it must have been one of our earlier dates because back then I was always so nervous, I was probably conscious for like half the date and then the rest of the time trying to actively control my breathing.” Lando’s rambling was amusing to your brother, generating a small breathy chuckle from him. But right as Lewis was preparing to mess with him, them and the two other drivers that were there for the press meeting were called up onto the stage, only leaving enough time for Lewis to truthfully answer the nervous boy.
   “February 14th.” Lewis walks up onto the stage leaving Lando to fall for you even more, just because of the day of your birthday.
   “Of course it’s Valentine’s Day.” Lando says to himself, shaking his head before heading on stage.
_____________
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landonorris Happy Birthday to my favorite Valentine (sorry mum) 🎈💘
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ynhamilton Thank you my love 🩷, but I hate to break it to you, Mama Norris is my Valentine 💋🤷🏿‍♀️
adam_norris_pure_electric Just asked your mum, said for Yn, she's okay with being second favorite Valentine ♥️
pieceopiastri I don't know how to explain it, but this like an absolute perfect version of love that they both needed. It feels otherworldly. ✨
__________
   You pace around the bedroom of your off-campus apartment, tears threatening to interrupt your attempt to steady your breathing as you go through the motions to facetime your brother, only having to wait two rings for him to answer.
   “What’s up?” This made it obvious that Lewis answered your call without looking at his phone, but one sniff from you clued him in to look and see you with teary bloodshot eyes and a runny nose. “Hey, Bug, what’s wrong?”
   "I'm panicking." You keep pacing and breathing.
   "About what?" Whatever it was that Lewis was doing at the time could wait. You could tell from the shifting behind him that he was moving to a place where he would be able to focus only on you.
   "I'm in love with Lando." When you say it, it sounds ridiculous. That's supposed to be a good thing, right?
   "I know. You both say it to each other at least 10 times before breakfast." Lewis tried to joke, make you crack a smile, but a staunch frown stays on your face.
   "Lew…" You were tired. You didn't need jokes, you needed advice.
   "Okay, I'm sorry. Continue." Lewis couldn't help but smile at your frustration. All he saw was his baby sister, little girl, uninhibited hair everywhere, crying because she wasn't allowed to help tune up his kart.
   "What I feel for Lando makes what I felt for…he who won't be named…feel like a preschool crush." You giggle at the fact that, even in the midst of a breakdown, you still would not allow your ex's name to leave your mouth. "But that's what's scary, though. I can't even fathom how much more it would hurt if Lando left me." You let out another laugh, this one hollow and hysteric.
   "Yn…" Lewis was about to start to console you, but you continue to rant.
   "The things I think when I'm with him…they're so sappy. Like we're old married people." You pause and dramatically smack your forehead with an open palm. "MARRIAGE! I'VE THOUGHT ABOUT MARRYING HIM! ON SEVERAL OCCASIONS! Were too young to get married, right!?" Your phone was in your hand, so though Lewis could hear you, all he saw were various moving shots of your bedroom and occasionally your face.
   "I see." This small statement from your brother was purely for him to let you know that he was still there and still listening, something you get quite sensitive about when you're mad.
   "Lewis, I feel like this love, this feeling, is being wasted on me. Do I really deserve to be loved like this, by someone like Lando, when I don't know what I'm doing half the time?" You finally docked on your bed, lying on your side and situating the phone so Lewis could see your face.
   "Okay, first of all, you always deserve love. Never ever question that again." You nod at Lewis' command, letting a small sentimental grin flash on your face briefly. "Now, I do understand your worry. After what you had to go through with your previous relationship, your concerns are valid. But Lando is not him. Lando is so madly in love with you, it's crazy, actually. Especially at, what, just barely a year in, I am being completely serious when I say you do not have to worry about him." This time you couldn't help but smile at your brother's praise and affirmation that what was between you and Lando was nothing to fear. "I also know you, and you tend to be closed off…for good reason sometimes, but this is not a good reason. I'll allow you to keep your barrier, but make it a screen door instead of an iron door that you swallowed the key to, so you can retreat when you feel overwhelmed but you can still talk through it, okay?" Right as Lewis finished talking, Lando's name flashes at the top of the screen.
   "Okay. Um, Lando's calling so…" Your voice was meek, exhausted from the emotional rollercoaster you just went through.
   "Alright I'll let you go. Remember, screen door" Lewis first points at the camera with a straight face that quickly morphs to his day-brightening, gapped smile. "Love you, Bug."
   "Love you too. And...thank you." You kiss at the screen then pick up Lando's call as Lewis hangs up. "Hey, hun bun."
   "Hey, baby." Lando's voice was filled with enthusiasm, but he hesitated before he continued. "You okay? You look like you've been crying. Your eyes are red."
   "I was stressing out earlier about something, but I was able to talk to Lew about it so I'm feeling much better." You sniff and dab away residual tears that stayed near your eyes with your fingers.
   "Okay. As long as you feel better…" Your boyfriend's face was still full of concern, but he kept on to the first thing he wanted to ask you about. "Um, are you still coming out this weekend?"
   "Oh, yeah. I am." Lando could sense your tiredness. He smiled though, because he loved he loved how soft you got, opposite from your usual hard self, giving Lando a chance to really take care of you. "I wish I was there now, so I could just cuddle you, smell you, hear your voice in person and not through a freaking phone." Your eyelids begin to droop, but you force them back open.
  "Two days left. And then Saturday I won't do anything all day except be your personal talking body pillow." The smile Lando gave you after these simple, silly words made you realize exactly how "worth it" it was to be in love with Lando and to let Lando love you, because you have never received a smile like that until you met him 
   "That sounds lovely." You pause and check the time. "Okay, I'm gonna go shower, but I'll call you back once I'm done." You stretch and stand from your bed, trying to keep the camera on your face.
   "No, go to sleep right after your shower. You were dozing off. I'll call you in the morning, alright?" You nod then admire the face on your phone screen one more time.
   "Okay. Love you." Your words were a shock for Lando, only because you did not usually say "Love you" first, but he played it off.
   "Love you too. Talk to you tomorrow." He went with a simple grin that you mirrored back to him.
   "Okay." You finally give a wave, a small finger wiggling wave and Lando does the same, not exactly the same wave, but a wave that signaled the end of the call, after which you get ready to shower.
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ynhamilton Happy Birthday to my soulmate. Fate really popped of with this one. 💓 (This man's face makes my heartbeat irregular)
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landonorris The universe is valid for bringing you to me♥️ (The woman posting this gives me shortness of breath)
>ynhamilton Hehe, see you tonight love 😘
danorris It is quite literally amazing how Lando looks at Yn-I want everyone to examine each photo and take ample notes
alex_albon Happy Birthday mate 🥳
>landonorris Why are you telling me this on Yn's post
>alex_albon Lily told me to 👉🏻
>lilymhe Rat
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lewishamilton Thank you for making my sister so happy. Happy birthday. 🎈
landonorris tagged
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landonorris Thank you trusting me with your sister 😊
sennasiempre I'm gonna cry 🥲
bestboylew And my brother left me at a sketchy petrol station for 15 minutes
ynhamilton Thank you, Lewis 💋
> lewishamilton You chose a good one, Bug ♥️
> ynhamilton I know 💞
_________
   "This is lovely, Lando." You and Lando were sitting at a beautifully decorated table in the middle of the garden at your father's house, which was where you two were staying for the start of the season's summer break, a much needed break since you have been swamped with your new job in the development division at McLaren. This gesture from your dad was a bit suspicious because, even under the best of normal circumstances, your dad would still be hesitant to let Lando in the door. This time, though, he was more than ecstatic.
   "It's nothing, really." Lando's demeanor was an adorable mixture of adoration and anxiousness that you couldn't help but smile at.
   "No, really, this is beautiful." You smile even wider at how bright Lando's eyes got.
   "Well, I, uh, tried to make it as beautiful as you, but I barely scratched the surface." There was a short beat before you and Lando bursted out laughing.
   "That was so cheesy!" You were just barely able to get these words out in the midst of your laughter.
   "I know! I know!" Lando's face had run red and his voice an octave higher as he tried to calm his laugh. "I'm running on autopilot. I guess I get sappy when I'm nervous." He messes with his utensils on the table, sniffing and using the back of his hand to wipe the tears that fell while he was laughing.
   "Nervous? Why would you be nervous?" You take a well needed sip of water and scrunch your eyebrows slightly as you wait for an answer.
  "Oh, well, um… I guess there's no time like the present." Lando clears his throat and takes your hand, a gesture that causes your face to contort with confusion and eyes to frantically look between your guys' hands and Lando’s nervously smiling face. “Yn, meeting you was the closest I felt to physically turning a page in my life. The moment I saw you, I had to talk to you and the moment I talked to you, I was in love, and everything that we have gone through since then has only made me love you more. And I’ve been so proud of you, watching you come out of your shell, working through the hurt from the past, allowing yourself to fall in love again, and it’s been an honor to be the person to receive that love.” Your face doesn’t change but Lando can see tears well up in your eyes. “I love you, and for these past few months, being able to have you around more during the season, has made me realize that…you’re endgame for me. I can’t imagine myself being with anyone but you.”
   “Lando…” Your voice squeaks. You knew what was coming, and you were conflicted. A part of you wanted to run, no real destination, just wanting to remove yourself from the situation as quick as possible. Another part of you, a much larger part that completely nullified the desire to run, continues to wait patiently for the question you knew was coming so you could give the answer you both wanted to hear.
   “Yn, please marry me. I know we’re young, and the engagement might be a long one, but knowing that, when the time does come,  it’s you I’m saying ‘I do’ to, would make me the happiest man in the world.” Tears were now in Lando’s eyes as he finished his speech and awaited your answer. You also feel eyes from behind you and you prepare your words.
   “Yes…okay.” Your voice was a mere whisper when you answered, and that whisper was music to his ears.
   “Great.” You both start to giggle at nothing in particular, more than likely in shock from the moment prior, but still Lando takes the ring from the blue velvet box that you hadn’t noticed on the table until now and slides it on the proper finger then guides your face with his other hand to his so you guys could share a smiley kiss, abruptly yet joyously interrupted by you’re families, Lewis wrapping his arms around your shoulders and Lando’s dad ruffling his hair, various other family members, everyone except for Lewis and your dad making surprise appearances, had surrounded the small table you two sat at. 
   What a lovely way to start summer break.
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landonorris I promise to be yours forever, Valentine 💍
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lewishamilton Welcome to the family (even though your always around now so it literally won't feel any different)
ynhamilton ♥️♥️♥️
> ynhamilton I still expect my Valentine's Day sweets
> landonorris Yes dear 😘
carmenmmundt So happy for you two! You both have so much love for each other and its always so beautiful to see 💕
> ynhamilton Thank you, Carmen ♥️ Keep an eye out for that bridal party invite 👀
riabish Keep making our girl happy Lando 💓
> landonorris I'll make sure she gets her dose of Ria, I promise 😊
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patolemus · 16 days
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Sterek fic recs: Time Travel AU Edition
As I promised @oldefashioned here is the start of my unending sterek fic reccing. I’ll go by category because this post will never end otherwise.
1. song of the phoenix by graveltotempo
In a last ditch effort to save Beacon Hills after everyone else has died, Stiles channels all of his energy and magic into cleansing the Nemeton and the magical core of the town. But he is more powerful than he knows, more connected to the Nemeton than anyone can guess, and a group of kids, teenagers and adults wakes up in the middle of the night ten years earlier with a second chance they didn't know they needed and a bond they don't understand. Stiles though? Stiles wakes up with a little more.
Notes: It's just. So good. It's kinda hard to explain but basically no one knows what's going on but at the same time it works. Kinda. They're working on it. Stiles is awesome in this, I especially love his relationship with the Hales, because of course I do. It's ongoing.
2. Twice And For All by novasillies
“Derek,” he said despite himself. The werewolf’s eyes sharpened. Scott gave him a distressed look. “Do I know you?” He asked tensely, and Stiles grinned in return. “Oh, no,” he answered, “Not yet.” - In which a well-timed conflict between the magic of the Ghost Riders and Stiles' spark sends him back to the day Scott got bitten. Stiles pointedly changes nothing and so God complexes, needlessly complex romantic drama, and pure, unbridled silliness ensue. (Updates every Thursday wink wonk)
Notes: This is to date one of my favorite time travel fics of all time, across multiple fandoms. Stiles in this one is just *chef's kiss*. Completely unhinged, I love him. Also, the sterek? Easily one of the best dynamics I've read. It's ongoing, only four chapters left!
3. Fly a Little Faster by mirrorkill
Everyone knows when you go back in time, you shouldn't step on an ant, just in case you accidentally kill your own grandparent or something. But what happens when you go back in time and, uh, accidentally interrupt the one event that apparently made the Grumpiest Alpha in Town into a ball of mindless manpain?  Well, if Marty McFly can do it, so can Stiles Stilinski. All he has to do is get Derek and Paige to fall in love before he gets pulled back to his own time. And before he makes anything worse. That's easy as pie, right? Right?
Notes: I liked this one because it's not the typical Stiles travels back in time after everyone else in the pack dies. It's got a different premise, still somewhat canon compliant (maybe??? canon enough), and it's amazingly done. It's complete.
4. Daybreak by TheObsidianQuill
"There . . ." Stiles swallowed and looked down at the bottle in his grasp as he slowly swirled the amber liquid inside. "There's really nothing left. For me. Everyone is . . . gone, and it feels like I haven't thought of tomorrow in years." His words rang in the air like a gunshot, he took another heavy drink. "I would trade every last breath I take to just have another shot—not even a guarantee, just a chance to make things right and bring back even one of them." ----- The pack was gone. He had nothing left. He had no one. With nothing to lose, Stiles puts everything on the line to go back in time to try to prevent the future from becoming his past. Broken, guarded, and haunted by his past, only one overgrown-pup of a wolf seems able to get past his defenses. Changing the future? Easy. Finding a place for himself in the Hale Pack? Impossible.
Notes: So good! Stiles is a traumatized bean and the Hales are just everything! It's complete.
5. The A Spark of Hope and the Butterfly Effect series by Phlinting
It's been eleven years since Scott was bitten by a feral werewolf and, despite his pack's many victories along the way, Gerard Argent's influence lives on. As the knowledge of the supernatural spread to the general population so did the hatred and fear of the unknown. The McCall pack has been picked off one by one and Stiles, Sheriff Stilinski, and Peter Hale are the only three left, on the run and barely surviving. But Stiles has found a spell. He has the magic, the spark, and his belief. He has his dad and Peter to help power it and he has the will and desperation to succeed. He's going back to the Hale fire and this time he's going to stop it ALL before it starts. It's the perfect solution. Too bad things never go quite according to plan...
Notes: The Sheriff and Peter are *chef's kiss* here! I really don't know how to explain all that happens here but it gets a little out of control in the best way. It's complete.
6. The The Long Way Round series by exclamation
A magical accident sends Stiles back in time. Now he's stuck in New York, living with Derek and Laura, and the only way to get back to his own time is to learn to use magic. Meanwhile, he must figure out how much he can tell them about their future. Can he warn them about the dangers they face? Can he change his own past?   And can he trust the creature known as Bookworm, who seems to know him better than he knows himself?
Notes: This series had me in a chokehold, I cried so much but it was absolutely worth it! Stiles doesn't plan to travel back in time on this one, this just... happen, and it all spirals a bit out of control. But don't worry! You may have no idea of what's going to happen, but the author certainly did and they did an amazing work. It's complete.
7. It’s Happening by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella)
Derek stopped listening to him, brain going a mile a minute.   Derek, it’s fucking happening! Derek, please!   He would recognize that fucking voice anywhere. Two years. Two fucking years had passed, and now this little shit was standing in front of him, speaking his name, and grinning like an idiot. “It’s you,” Derek said, earning him a confused look from Stiles. “The phone call. Two years ago. It was you.” (SNYE - January 2nd - Time Travel)
Notes: This is not canon compliant. It's a whole other universe, actually, and it's so good. Good ol' Derek is losing his mind over here, but it's alright! Things work out just fine. It's complete.
These ones are not time travel, but dimensional travel. It’s similar enough so here you go.
8. The play it again series by metisket
In which Stiles goes along with one of Derek’s plans and ends up in an alternate universe as a result. He should’ve known better. He did know better, actually, and that means he has no one to blame but himself. “Laura wants to lure the kid in with food and kindness and make a pet of him, like a feral cat. Derek wants to have him arrested for stalking. They’re at an impasse. (And the rest of the family is staying emphatically out of it in a way that suggests bets have been placed.)”
Notes: I honestly don't know how to show the whole of my appreciation for this series. I think I've read this about five times since I found it last year. Stiles lands himself in a whole other dimension, where the Hale House fire never happened and Scott is human. It goes about as well as you can expect. It's technically not complete, but the main piece is.
9. The Home Across The Universe series by TricksterShi
You can lose your home and spend your whole life looking for it, sometimes you may even find bits of it again. But sometimes home goes out searching and finds you first. ~ The day he loses his father and his pack, Stiles is transported to a parallel world where his counterpart is nine years old and seemingly small changes have had a huge impact on the course of events in Beacon Hills. At first sticking to the shadows as a vigilante to protect his otherworld father and younger self, Stiles is soon drawn out into the light and onto a path that forces him to confront the traumas of his past so that he can make a place for himself in this new world.
Notes: Just. This absolute beast of a universe is seriously so well done, and so good. Imagine play it again, but much more depressing and waaaay longer. The angst is on point! The Stilinskis are the best in this one. And Derek and Laura have my heart, love my pookies. Stiles is not having the best times, but he'll be looked after, don't worry! Also technically not complete, but all the pieces in the series are done.
10. The Ley Lines series by forestofbabel
Stiles is back in town after many years, angry and bitter and disconnected from anything you might call pack. It might as well be a tradition at this point that he gets drunk and wakes up in the woods. Only, this time, something is different.  The ghosts that have weighed in his heart are alive and well, and Stiles gets to witness a life that could have been his. There is one thing he knows, though. No matter how much he may want to stay, he has to go home.  If the ley lines you should follow, and your dwelling at the end, and find your presence has been hollowed, your hereafter is to amend." *** Stiles is faced in this new world with someone he had been avoiding for a long time. Himself.  The Double Walker cannot survive where the Double Walker dwells *** Derek had an itch under his skin. There was something missing. He knew exactly what it was. Who it was. His regrets paraded themselves in a steady stream, and he had to watch as Stiles left time and time again, knowing it would be the only way to let the ley lines heal. That didn't make it hurt any less. Still, some part of Derek hoped.
Notes: I honestly just read the first part, but I thought I'd add the whole series so people know what they're getting into. The first part can be read as a stand alone, so if anyone wants to stop after that they absolutely can. The fic itself is a bit sad, but it has a happy ending! Stiles travels to another dimension, and shenanigans follow. The series is complete.
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smrsxx · 10 months
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Legends Are Made | Lewis Hamilton x Female Reader
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Summary : 9 months after Ayrton Senna's fatal crash , Y/N Senna Da Silva was born in Rome , Italy and was defined by destiny carrying the same talent as her father's . At the very young age of 2 Y/N developed an interest upon her father's job and then entered the fascinating world of F1 . Growing up and moving from F3 to F2 her dream to bring back her father's legacy seemed to finally come true , when she joined the Mercedes AMG Petronas team , becoming the first woman on the F1 grid . What she did not expect was that she would fall in love with an 5 times world time F1 champion , Lewis Hamilton .
TW : Mentions and descriptions of Ayrton Senna's fatal crash from the autopsy , Max is super mean upon the reader ( Red Bull is an absolute shit in this ) , anxiety and panick attacks , a lot of angst(y feeling's ) , tears ( both of sadness and happiness ) , Ayrton visit's the reader ( I was crying when I wrote this ) , but extreme fluff towards the end .
This idea came up to me back in May 1 of this year , and while I was listening to the song above Legends Are Made by Sam Tinnesz , I could not help myself and think of all the things that could have happened if Ayrton had a daughter with the same talent . After 3 months working on this I finally finished it .
Just remember that English is not my first language , so if you spot any mistakes just bare with me . ( It is a tw on it's own ) .
PS : I do not usually pour my entire heart and soul on every imagine that I write , but I actually did in this one - and I am proud of it - I hope you like it . I was literally crying the whole time .
Edit : Still crying .
19k words - i got reallyy away with this one
______________________________________________________________
May , 1 1994 Imola , Italy - San Marino Grand Prix
Lap 7 . . . the  car left the racing line at Tamburello and ran in a straight line off the track and struck an unprotected concrete barrier .
He tried to brake down .
He really did .
The car hit the wall at a shallow angle, tearing off the right front wheel and nose cone with 211 km/h .
" Ayrton Senna crashed after the Tamburello corner and smashed with the barrier . Red Flag . The safety car is on it's way . We may need an ambulance for this . " The presenter said with an anxious tone in his voice .
Ayrton tried moving his head but the pain was insufferable .
After that he lost his vision and everything turned black .
" Ayrton Senna Da Silva , a truly staggering talent is dead at the age of 34 years old , after crashing his W16 on the concrete barrier . We lost without any doubt one of the best or maybe the best F1 racing driver." The same presenter said after a couple of hours after the incident .
Ayrton Senna Da Silva - your father - was dead .
_____
January 8th 1995 , Rome , Italy
It was a sunny but cold day when your mother gave birth to you .
Y/N Senna Da Silva . . . the one and only daughter of the F1 champion Ayrton Senna .
You did not know it yet but you would grow up without your dad .
Although you carried something very special within your heart .
His talent was passed over to you , something that your mother tried desperately to avoid .
At the young age of 2 , after watching for the first time a F1 race , one of your dad's , you could not help but wonder about all these fast cars that were racing in big circles .
You were amazed by the colors and the sounds of the engine's .
Your mother did everything in her power to keep you away from F1 and she thought she had succeeded , until one day when she picked you up from the Kindergarten you were crying and sniffling your nose.
When she asked you what happened the only answer you could give was more tears and the phrase " The other kids say that I don't have a dad , because he left me . "
That phrase still keeps you and your mother awake at night .
After that incident she decided to show you one of your father's races.
You loved it .
Little did she know that you had the same talent as your father and she could not keep you away from it .
After a couple of months , you entered the F1 worlds by going into karting .
_____
By the time you were 15 years old , you were able to perfectly drive a F3 car . Your coach said that it would be too easy for you to move from karting to F3 and then F2 .
" You are just like your father . " Your mother said to you on your first big crash .
You had a few big scratches but nothing that could stop you from raicing .
" What do you mean ? " You asked her back trying to convince your mother on telling you more .
After a few hours of you talking you found out more information about your father's tragic death .
" I saw it live on the TV . He was motionless . He had so many injuries ih his head . There was so much blood . You could see it from afar . Thereafter he did not move again . He called me before the race saying that he had a feeling , that something bad will happen to him."
" How ironic " She thought .
__________
' The resemblance is almost scary . ' You thought while you were looking at your debut photo , that the Mercedes AMG Petronas team had published .
It was 100 % sure that you were your father's daughter .
You had the exact same curls at the end of your hair , big honey color doe eyes , that cute little nose and those same full dark pink lips .
You even had the same stance .
Same fashion style . Heck even some clothes of his where now on your closet .
You were practically the same .
But you were not on the same F1 team .
While your father had the best time in McLaren , you joined the Mercedes AMG Petronas team in 2015 .
Being 25 years old you became the youngest amongst everyone , but what made it even worse is that you were the first woman on the F1 grid .
The night before your first public appearance you couldn't sleep .
You were worried and anxious .
Thinking about people's opinions made it even worse that it already was .
Getting up you decided to go to the kitchen at take those sleeping pills your doctor prescribed for you .
And before you knew it you entered the dream space - or so you thought .
" You know that you can not go on like this for long right ? " A man's voice spoke from your left side of the bed .
A voice you have heard before but can not pinpoint exactly where .
" This is not a dream Y/N you can answer me . "
Y/N .
He knows my name .
' I know his voice . ' You thought .
And then it hit you right in the face .
" Dad ? " You asked tears on your face while you where slowly turning to his direction .
He smiled .
He smiled to you .
Your dad smiled to you .
Suddenly you felt someone embracing you - a soft kiss on your forehead .
You hugged him back .
Your dad was here - hugging you and telling you he loves you .
" I am always with you , you are safe . " He told you .
By now you were crying uncontrollably .
" I love you so much Y/N . "
" Do not leave me alone dad . Please . " You begged him through sobs.
" Never Y/N . I love you ." He said to you one last time before you fell asleep .
And he was right .
He never left your side .
You woke up after 8 hours of sleeping , with his cross on your nightstand beside the photo you had of him .
You were safe .
__________
One year had passed since you first saw your father for the first time .
Everything was going great with the team - almost .
You and Lewis Hamilton were practically best friends by now .
' The best duo on the whole grid ' . Everyone said .
Fans going crazy on Twitter shiping both of you .
You had become great friends with Daniel Riccardo and Carlos Sainz.
You had a good relationship with Fernando Alonso and Perez although you did not talk much , but you respected each other .
You and Valtteri Bottas became buddy's through Tiffany and you had the best time pranking Lewis .
Sebastian Vettel was something else entirely .
He respected you and helped you in any way possible . Being the oldest one in the grid helping others with his own ways , made him the father of the grid .
The only one who did not speak to you was Verstappen .
Max Verstappen .
He looked at you with such hate .
Did not talk at you .
Even when you had to sit net to him in interviews he always switched seats with somebody else .
Atleast you were thankful that nothing ever happened .
__________
Two years had passed by .
The best two years of your life .
Your relationship with Lewis was stronger than before .
At least that's what you thought from your part .
You liked him .
Actually you liked him even more than a friend .
God you even loved him at this point .
But you desided to keep it to yourself , not wanting to mess up your frienship or even worse jeopardize your partnership .
Valtteri joined Mercedes and for once you though that they would ask you to transfer , but Toto Wolff would never do it . Especially after watching you getting close to Susie an having the best time babysitting their kids .
In the Brazilian GP of 2017 you finished first place earning the respect of Kimi Raikkonen and becoming close buddy's .
You were always sending food posts and memes in each other and you even died from laughter when you first watched Jackass while babysitting his kids .
Everything was going great until the Abu Dhabi GP .
Valtteri finished first , Lewis second , Sebastian third , Kimi fourth , you fifth and in the sixth place Max .
You had overtake him in last possible minute earning your place in your father's hometown - something that Max did not like at all and decided to make it show in the press conference later .
__________
" My name is Joseph from the F1 Magazine and my question is for Miss Y/N Senna . Y/N you were so good today and I am a 100 % that next year you will win the Championship . I can not help but wonder though and it is something that a lot of people are asking - today you came in the grid with some of your father's clothes . Is there a particular reason ? " He asked you .
" I actually do it all the time since some of his clothes fit me and I believe that he had the best style back then and since now Lewis has stolen that place I need to bring it back . " You answered smiling and making a little joke about Lewis that alot of people loved .
Especially him .
" That is great . My next question is for everyone and it is about what cars do you drive . Can we start with Mr . Vettel . " The interviewer asked with a smile .
" Well I have a Golf . " Carlos said and everybody laughed .
" And you Max ? " The guy asked him .
" I drive a Ferrari , not like someone else that drives a Golf or an almost 30 year old car . " Max said hating on Carlos and you .
You drove your father's famous red Honda NSX and actually own a really big percentage of the Honda NSX cars and you were extremely proud about it .
" Okay . See you on Twitter . " Carlos said know full well that Max is going to get so many new haters .
Sebastian was not proud , Kimi was laughing at Max's stupidity , Daniel was embarrassed and Lewis was furious .
" Y/N what do you have to say about this ? " The guy named Joseph asked you .
" First of all I agree with Carlos and second I am proud of driving such a car . Actually you can ask Mr. Mibe the CEO of Honda and he can assure you that my 30 year old Honda's are far more better that just a plain Ferrari . Thank you . " You answered making everyone in the room speechless .
" Well I totally agree . " Sebastian said laughing .
" She owns the division of the Honda Acura , she can buy all the Ferrari's he owns and plenty more . " Kimi said making everyone speechless again .
Carlos was right , because Twitter was going wild after the press conference was published .
__________
To say that you were mentally drained was a statement .
You were currently crying your eyes out .
Lewis and his dog Roscoe were on your side .
" I just wished the season didn't end like this . " You said while Lewis was hugging you .
" It's okay silly , everyone is on your side . Look even Kimi talked after a really long time . " Lewis said and you both laughed .
Suddenly you were both looking at each other in the eyes and before you noticed it Lewis had capped your face in his palms and pressed his lips at you .
You were so shocked that you did not realize that you had not kissed him back .
Your unresponsiveness made him believe that he was getting wrong .
'' I am so sorry Y/N I kno that you did- " Lewis said but you interupted him .
" Why did you stop ? " You asked him making him froze in his tracks .
It is safe to say that he kissed you back again something that went on about hours and hours on end until Roscoe got jealous of it and started to bark in your faces .
You stayed in Lewis hands for a while , until a scared Toto stormed inside the room .
" Next GP ? Imola , San Marino circuit . " He announced for both of you to hear , but was looking directly at you .
Imola , San Marino - where your father had lost his life .
__________
May , 1 2018 Imola , Italy - San Marino Grand Prix
"Today's atmosphere is heavy . We are in San Marino , Imola circuit where Ayrton Senna lost his life . Now we are waiting for the race to start as we have Y/N Senna Da Silva driving for the Mercedes AMG Petronas team . Toto Wolff specifically asked for the press to not be outside of the Mercedes pit . Y/N is already anxious and worried enough . We hope and pray for the best . In my opinion she is the best driver of this generation . " The same presenter that witnessed your father's death , spoke about you .
' 5 minutes till the race start's ' . You said to yourself .
You were inside your car , wearing your father's famous yellow helmet, his cross on your neck inside of your clothes .
Lewis had begged you not to do it .
Daniel and Carlos were totally afraid .
Kimi had retired .
Sebastian knew that it was dangerous but you wouldn't badge .
Your boyfriend - Lewis - was looking at you , pleading you with his eyes from his car to not do it .
Valtteri did not intervene .
You started from P4 , Sebastian in P3 , Valtteri in P2 and Lewis in P1 .
And the race started .
__________
You don't know how many laps you had done , you weren't counting them .
Everytime you approached the Tamburello racing line until you pass it , your heart was dropping on your stomach , you had trouble breathing .
You were thinking of him .
You thinking about your father .
Your mind was your enemy at this point telling you to 'look at the corner' .
You heart your companion was telling you 'do not look at the corner' .
'What if I lose control of the car and smash into the barier ? '
' What if I die ? '
' Mom is going to be devastated . '
'Lewis . . . oh my Lewis . . . '
' What if ? '
But despite your heart telling you to not look at the corner near the racin line in Tamburello , you did it and what you saw made everything stop .
__________
It is like you were watching the scene unfold it's self from afar .
You were back in 1994 .
Your car was on the other side of the road parked - you standing at the side of it .
Suddenly your father's car ran off the track and was struck an unprotected concrete barrier at 211km/h .
You could hear everything .
You could see everything .
You could smell everything .
Blood -
Your father's blood -
Tears streamed on your face like falls , your hands trembling while you were running to your father to save him .
But Death was far more powerful .
Before you could go and grab him , a hand engulfed your right wrist .
Your dad was standing besides you - his unconscious body still inside the car .
You started panicking , blindness covering your eyes - head dizzy .
" Y/N breath for me come on honey listen to me . " Your dad instructed you .
Trying to concentrate on your father's voice , you did not see his body getting lift out ofthe car , bones broken , blood everywhere .
After a while your father took you back to the side of your car , watching himself being lifted into a helicopter .
" What was the last thing you felt ? " You asked him .
" The taste of blood in my mouth and pain . " He answered calmly .
" I love you dad . " You said to him and hugged him again searching for his embrace .
You cried again .
" I love you too . Stop unsettling your mind with uneasy thoughts and go finish that race . Okay champion ? " Your father said to you before placing a soft kiss on your forehead .
Suddenly you were inside you car racing at 211km/h passing the Tamburello racing line - with your father's voice saying that he loves you watching him with tears in your eyes waiving at you from the corner .
__________
" AND Y/N SENNA DA SILVA IS THE WINNER OF THE IMOLA GRAND PRIX AND THE F1 WORLD CHAMPION OF 2018 " . The presenter scream in his microphone when your car overtook Sebastian's and finished in 1st place .
Your team was screaming , but all you could see and hear was your father saying ' I love you ' and ' I am so proud of you ' .
Only when Lewis hand landed on your shoulder you looked up - at him with tears in your red eyed from crying .
He helped you to get out of your car , took of your helmet and your balaclava , staring at you .
He grabbed your face - " What happened love ? " He asked you .
" I saw everything Lewis . I saw my dad . "
__________
You were currently standing with the Brazilisn flag on your shoulders , trophy on your hands , closed eys and head looking up , while everyone - even the fans - were all silent .
After you rised for your national anthem you asked for a minute of silence for your father .
The wind was blowing - and when something made you shiver but feel safe at the same time - you knew that your father was sitting besides you .
After one minute tears of happiness fell from your eyes .
__________
2023
You are now 28 years old , married with Lewis from 2019 with one beautiful baby boy .
You were still racing .
But today was a special day .
It was your son's birtand he was turning 3 years old .
You've desided with Lewis to go and wake him up , since you've prepared his favourite breakfast and after you would let him open his gifts .
" Goodmorning Ayrton Happy Birthday honey " You both said to your son to wake him up .
Mom's and Dad's and Thank you's could be heard all over the apartment as your son was driving his toy car around the house while holding a cookie .
Chocolate was plastered all over his face .
You were both happy smiling at him .
And then suddenly you heard your son screaming in the leaving room-
" I woak up in a new Ferrari . "
" I swear I am going to kill Carlos and Charles the moment I see them." Lewis said to you while you were uncontrollably laughing .
--------------------
@unimportantbabymilksharkte
@k----a27s
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exactlycleverpirate · 3 months
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Timeline from Xavier's Perspective Part 1
EDIT: This has been updated to include the endings of all myths as well as some other information.
(Includes spoilers for basically everything, including all myths.)
This is an update of my earlier post. Part 2 here.
If you are interested in more speculation than facts, check out my Half-baked Theories and Wild Theories About Rafayel. For an in-depth exploration of Rafayel’s story, see What Happened to Lemuria and Rafayel and Rafayel's Timeline Redux Part 1. For current game story see Love and Deepspace: the Story So Far Part 1.
Timeline from Xavier's perspective (Part 1/Philos):
Xavier is born on Philos. He is the Crown Prince of the royal family. Life is connected to the core of Philos, making him and most people on Philos immortal while the planet remains. Philos has a fake core that is holding together the separate tectonic plates of former Earth. Travel between these plates is difficult (no oceans?).
214 PT (Philos Time) Xavier went to school with MC in year 214, which is 214 years after the destruction of earth. MC has a fatal heart condition. Some of the professors lived on Earth before its destruction. Xavier is under constant guard and has little freedom. (Anecdote 3)
217 PT MC and Xavier become friends and fall in love. She gives him the star charm tassel that she made.
Xavier finds out MC is dying. They go on a date to see a meteor shower by a salt flat. After this, Xavier disappears for a month.
MC escapes the hospital to go to the salt flat. Xavier finds her there and has the protocore that is supposed to be able to save her, but it is too late. She dies in his arms. Xavier promises to seek her out in her future lives.
Zayne's Myth. Zayne guards the Creatio protocore in a frozen tower as a Foreseer of Astra. The royal family sends him emissaries seeking a prophecy every 100 years, but they never return. MC is a gardener with a fatal heart condition and is seeking the Creatio protocore to save her life. (Is this the same protocore that Xavier found in her first life on Philos?) Zaybe says if she can make the jasmine on the balcony of the Tower bloom, she can go free.
MC and Zayne have been stuck in a loop, where MC seeks out the Creatio to heal her dying heart, Zayne falls in love with her, she dies, his memories are erased (but preserved as fragments in an illusory jasmine garden), and she is reincarnated to do it all again. This is happening because of some sort of resonance link between MC and the Creatio, which makes it so the Creatio can power itself by draining her life.
After the jasmine on the tower blooms, Zaybe remembers what has happened to them in the past. Zayne breaks the cycle by fusing the Creatio to MC's heart, healing her. He is then locked in an eternal slumber in the Tower of Thorns behind an eternal blizzard as punishment by Astra. MC is free, and her heart appears to be healed, but she can no longer get to Zayne.
30,000 PT Assuming the seas dried up when Earth was destroyed and became Philos, Rafayel's Myth takes place around this time. MC was born from the depths of the earth. She has a special heart that makes the people of Philos immortal and is guarded in a palace, treated as a princess, and not allowed to leave.
Child MC is gifted a young Rafayel as a Lemurian slave. She sets him free. (Rafayel later tells her he allowed himself to be caught on purpose.)
MC meets Rafayel as adults while she is attempting to escape the palace. He helps her. They continually meet up and she learns he was the boy she released as a child. Rafayel, Amund, and other Lemurians are killing human nobles. Rafayel tells MC this is not out of revenge, but rather somehow part of an effort to restore Lemuria/the oceans. MC asks how she and Rafayel can be bound as he never gave her one of his scales. He says their bond was formed when the oceans still existed. MC has vague memories of living in a hut on the Island of Songs surrounded by ocean. 
Rafayel and Amund are plotting to recover “the God of the Sea’s (Rafayel’s) heart from MC by cutting it out with a dagger on the Island of Songs. However, the heart must be given willingly. Rafayel is uncertain whether the legends are true about killing MC to restore the oceans and Lemuria. Per the legend, the goal seems to be attaining Absolute Power. According to the legend, “Lemurians who seeketh Absolute Power: Combat the treacherous tides. Dive into The Deep for pearls. Find a true love. When blessed with a true love’s kiss, claim her heart by your own hand. A heart, pure, flawless-and filled with love. It is the best offering humans can give to Lemurians. -Lemurian Ruins, Slate No. 0065, Lemuria: Tome of the Sea God”. (Amund has served multiple Gods of the Sea over the centuries. Are these all reincarnations of Rafayel or are there multiple Gods of the Sea?)
6 months after Rafayel and MC celebrate her birthday, he and Amund take her to the Island of Songs, which she recognizes. She remembers her past life with Rafayel and realizes that Rafayel will fall into eternal slumber and the seas will never be restored if she does not return his heart. She offers to cut it out, but Rafayel refuses, saying he and the Lemurians will have to find their own way to change to story. He attempts to erase her memories and sever their bond to save her. Rafayel calls her his beloved bride.
MC is returned to the palace with no memories of Rafayel, but she watches the blue fish he gave her when they were young and slowly begins to remember. Hearing that the Lemurians are on the verge of being captured, and remembering that Rafayel intends to leave, she runs out of the city to find him, her memories and their bond once more intact.
Unsure how to resolve things, they set out on a camel across the desert to find Whalefall City. Amund is with them. Rafayel suggests that somehow by going to Whalefall City, he’ll be able to show her the sea. (Based on the Tender Moment, Whalefall Lament, it seems likely that Whalefall City is the name of the Lemurian city under the sea that Rafayel grew up in as a child on Earth.) The blue fish in the palace turns into a scale, presumably the one he gifted her to form their bond.
Xavier meets MC again at a Philos Academy as knights in training, sometime near the end of Philos’ life as a planet. Jeremiah goes to the Academy too. Xavier is the Crown Prince, but avoids returning to the royal family, remaining at the Academy instead.
During his Gladius Ceremony in the Starfall Forest, Xavier discovers that the forest contains the hollow heart of Philos and consumes people to power the long-dead core. This creates Wanderers. Xavier realizes protocores used to contain hearts. MC notices his attitude/demeanor changes noticeably after this trial. He rejects his role of Crown Prince after this.
The king dies, and Xavier disappears for about 200 years. 
MC and Xavier meet up again while investigating Starfall Forest. Jeremiah is part of MC’s squad. Xavier reveals what he learned about the forest to MC. He tells her that the royal family used to send human sacrifices into the forest. Then they discovered a truly immortal person who could die and come to life over and over, continually powering the planet. MC does not realize he is talking about her. She realizes the woman who gave him the star tassel is the same woman who reincarnates.
Xavier begins planning a backtracking expedition through spacetime in order to find a way to save MC and Philos. Jeremiah decides to join the team. MC decides to stay and become Queen to protect the people of Philos until Xavier can return. Xavier says that when he returns, he will be her knight. She gives him her little star badge, saying she knows that it can't replace the star tassel. He tells her only one person has ever given him a little star, but she doesn't understand what he means.
Xavier leaves MC’s service, and she fakes his death, claiming he died with honors. He is viewed as a traitor by the people of Philos. MC does not believe he will ever return.
Timejump.
See Part 2 here for Earth Timeline
A thought: Is the reason that MC is considered the only true immortal because she has or is connected to Rafayel/The God of the Sea’s heart? Lemurians appear to be naturally immortal, though not undying.
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Rose Recaps 2023 - Korea
I started with Japan because this year it gave me everything I could possibly want. Korea gave me some very nice surprises. Let's go.
The one that had me question if watching it was good for my mental health.
The Eighth Sense
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Much like what I said about Tokyo in April is... it was not a good decision on my part to watch this one live. I related way too much to Jae Won and I wasn't in a specially good place at the time. However, I love it so much. I have rewatched it since then and it's such an incredible journey.
I think they used the time very efficiently and they didn't try to skip too many steps to make it a happy ending. I would be okay without any redemption for those two but on the plus side the other friends were brilliant.
Favourite Moment
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The one that came out of nowhere
Sing My Crush
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This show came out all at once and I had no idea it was coming. But I'm so glad it did. There were I think 4 kbls that came out all at once this year. And with the exception of this one, they were all worse because of it. First of all I fell in love with the song instantly and Han Tae immediately after. He's so cute and in love and it takes him way too long to realise it, but his devotion to Ba Ram is unquestionable from the beginning.
Favourite Moment:
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The one that was a sequel but not really
Love Class 2
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The first couple of episodes I wasn't sure about this one. The first couple of episodes were kinda of confusing, starting with such a dark scene on the roof, and so many different types of relationships to keep track of.
Joo Hyuk was my instant favourite from the beginning. The way he was instantly smitten and committed from the first moment he saw the TA was delightful.
It took me longer to warm up to Min Woo and Maru. But I love their arc. Even the jealousy experiment didn't bother me, Maru needed a push. Much like Lee Hyun said, it was so obvious.
Lee Hyun and Kim An were the last ones to reach me. I think the whole backstory around Kim An muddied the waters a bit and I'm not sure it was necessary to have so much of it, but I did love that when Kim An gave in, he did so with no reservations.
Favourite Moments:
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The one that had me considering moving to a farm
Love Tractor
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Ok. Not really, But look how pretty. Funny story, I actually rewatched part of this show in an orchard not that much different from the one here. I was on holiday in the countryside and just thought it would be incredibly amusing.
Anyway. I love Ye Chan an unreasonable amount. He's so dramatic and so earnest. And honestly if I ever had to move to a place like this I think I would pretty much have the same reaction as Seon Yul. I just want my peace and quiet.
But I really like their dynamic all throughout and considering the time restraints I thought that the development of Yul's feelings was done quite well.
Favourite Moment:
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The other one with Love in the title
Love Mate
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There was absolutely no reason for me to like this show has much as I did. Ha Ram should've bothered me. This whole concept should've annoyed me. The whole separation bit should've made me angry. Why didn't it? I have no clue. But I loved it. I've watched it more than once and love it every time.
Favourite Moment
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The one with coffee and pottery
Unintentional Love Story
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I adore this show. Pick an episode, any episode, I love it. Was it perfect? No. Was the kissing the thing that made it not perfect? Perhaps. I love it nonetheless.
[Confession time. Is there one thing about this show that bothers me no matter how many times I rewatch it? Yes. Is it the kissing? No. Is it something absolutely and stupidly tiny that only I could possibly be that bothered by it? Yes. What is it? " Let me at least do this." It's such a great moment. But why did whoever was in charge of the editing felt the need to show us the scene that we saw 17 minutes before? (it's really 17 minutes and 40 seconds, I checked because I'm nowhere near sane). Did they thing we forgot about it in that time? It lessens the moment and it insults the audience. I hate it an unreasonable amount. ]
There are so many moments in this show that I love. The four mains are amazing, the confession scene by HoTae in the coffee shop floored me, the writing in the sand moment was delightful and the soundtrack is my favourite of the year.
Favourite Moment:
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The one that was perfect
Our Dating Sim
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What's there to say. There's nothing wrong here. They are delightful, I had a great time with the video game format at the end of the episodes, their chemistry was amazing, and Ki Tae is my favourite boy. Also, my second favourite soundtrack this year.
Favourite Moment
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See you next time with Thailand I think.
Thanks for reading💜
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A Table of Contents to all my CoD Men x Reader Fics
My shit was getting disorganized as fuck, so I collected everything I've typed on here and put it into a single post, just to make it easier to find my stuff if you ever choose to. User Accessibility matters!
Note - All of this is 18+ and Mature, but not all of it is Smut
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SFW/Fluff // Masterlist
The masterlist to all of the SFW/Fluff One-Shots for Ghost x Reader.
No Good Men Left To Spare // Masterlist
No pair of people hated each other more than you and Ghost. To him, you were just another loud-mouthed, obnoxious, and immature little princess needing to be humbled. To you, he was just a boring, broody asshole hellbent on not liking you. Things between you two couldn't be any worse. After pushing one too many of his buttons tonight, you and Ghost going off to have a quick smoke turns into something else entirely.
Make Me Beg
Ghost had been curious to see if you could be the one to make him beg for a change, in which to both his pleasure and dismay, you oblige.
Greedy
Ghost x Dom!Reader x Soap
Ghost and Soap find themselves crushing on the same woman on their team, a friendly bout between two comrades to see who you'll choose, only your answer's not one they'd expected to hear.
The Lights Stay Off
No Summary :(
NSFW, 18+, Shameless Smut, No Plot, Porn w/out Plot, Sex in the dark, Explicit, Graphic Language, Teasing, Touch-Starved Touching, Embarrassing, First Time Together, Fingering, Sloppy Kisses, Somewhat Rough Sex, slightly Intimate, Ghost is a bit of a dom, Reader's a bit snarky
Ghost Fan Edit
My thirst for this man is endless. I've been thirsty since I was 11 and first laid eyes on him in 2009. He just gets finer each year. I don't think I'd have my mask kink without him.
Now you get to see how rhythmically challenged I am. These are fun to make; once I get better at them I'll be unstoppable (`∀´)Ψ
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I Won't Forget
Short Drabble ~ Your last night with Johnny...
Can You Spot Me?
You decide to reward Soap after finishing a set on the bench press.
NSFW 18+, Explicit, Shameless Smut, Porn w/out Plot, Semi-Public Sex, Gym Sex, Teasing, Fluff, Flirting, Cunnilingus, Blow-Jobs, Cowgirl, P in V, Might be a little tame, but still Graphic Description, no Y/N usage
Greedy (same story as above one in Ghost's section)
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Speedracer
Gaz x Reader x Soap
It's not every day Gaz gets to drive fast cars. It's also not every day he gets to race hot strangers on the road either.
SFW, Some swearing, Fluff, Flirting, Banter, Racing, Three-Way flirting, Random, Innocent, Some Car Lingo, Soap and Gaz sharing a single brain cell, Eventual smut in part two, scarcely proofread
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Been In Love
After a breakup, Price figures a walk along the beach might make for a good distraction. What he did not expect to find was a strange woman standing off to the shore, who looked as though she were about ready to drown herself at sea.
pt. 0 | pt. 1 | pt. 2 | pt. 3
Bloodstained Honesty
Wounded, bloody, and just the two of you. A mission gone wrong leads to a long overdue moment between both you and your Captain, perhaps too late to count for anything. Not if either of you two can help it at least.
pt. 1 | pt. 2 | pt. 3
Sex Tape ~ Kinktober Prompt
No summary (._. )
NSFW (18+), Shameless Smut, Explicit Detail, Groping, Fingering, Nipple-Play, Oral (Female Receiving), AFAB!Reader Long-Distance, Sex Tape, Scarcely Proofread, Kinktober
Some Days
Drabble ~ Price has a tendency to wake up most mornings before you...
SFW, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Innocent, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Mornings, Wife Reader, Soft Price, Price is a little mopey, scarcely proofread
Let Me Play You A Song
During a get-together, you and the Captain decide to sneak off for a spell. The intentions were mostly pure. At the start...
Captain Price Fan Edit
My first time making a video like this EVER (ʃᵕ̩̩ ᵕ̩̩). It came out more like a trailer than an edit, but I had so much fun making this. I really hope you like it! *totally not nervous* ( ◜◡‾)
Captain Price Fan Edit 2
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Control Masterlist
Slow Burn, Love Triangle, Angst, Romance, Drama
You’ve been with Shadow Company long enough to know working alongside 141 on their search for the stolen American missiles wouldn’t be an ordinary assignment. And most importantly, you knew Graves. Shadow Company keeps its allies close, and its enemies closer. When you’re given a job, it gets done without conflict. Without loose ends.
Your true mission is clear to you -- keep an eye on 141 and keep them comfortable. Anything it takes to alleviate suspicion of Shadow Company’s involvement with the missing missiles. This wasn’t about saving lives, this was a deadly game of control, and you intend to do so flawlessly.
Phillip Graves Character Trailer
Deepthroating ~ Kinktober Prompt
Drabble - You decide to pay your commander a little visit during one of his later nights in the office...
Welp, that's that. Thanks ( .-.)
...
Here are links to some of my gaming clips if interested (shameless plug)
One | Two | Three | Four | Five
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strniohoeee · 6 months
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Dolor
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Pairing: Chris Sturniolo X Female Reader💌
Synopsis: Y/N can sense that Chris and hers relationship might not last. When they talk will they work it out, or call it quits?🫂
Warnings⚠️: None, I was just feeling a sad Chris imagine today 🥹 shit lowkey made me tear up….it do be hitting home
Song for the imagine: Changes- XXXTENTACION
You’re changing, I can’t stand it
My heart can’t take this damage
And the way I feel, can’t stand it
Everyone knew….everyone saw it, but I chose to ignore it. Not wanting to come to terms with how Chris and I’s relationship was truly going. We were dating for two years at this point, and it just wasn’t the same. Chris was no longer mine….we just weren’t meant for each other.
This started within the last 2 months, Chris just started being different, and I feel like we almost grew apart? I was always with him and his brothers, but it just wasn’t right I wanted us to go back to normal? I’m not sure what I wanted honestly
It really started to make me question what was going on between us when their fans started commenting on their videos, their posts, my posts….making edits, and assuming things about our relationship. It made me physically sick….if it was clear as day to their fans why couldn’t I just come to terms with it?
There wasn’t any anger towards one another, but there just wasn’t any of that love we used to have….our honeymoon phase was finally over, 2 years later….. I just couldn’t let Chris go. He was all I had…he was all I ever wanted, but I knew it was coming soon.
I knew Chris was going to break up with me at some point. As a woman you just know when a man no longer has interest in you, and it broke my fucking heart.
Currently I was at the triplets house, and I just sensed this vibe from Chris all day. He was constantly in thought and anxious, and it made me sick to my stomach. I know what he was thinking, what he was plotting, how he wanted to go about it, but I couldn’t bring myself to talk to him. I wasn’t sure if his brothers knew because it didn’t seem that way, but man I have never wanted to disappear more than in this moment.
I was watching Chris in the kitchen pacing back and forth, deep in thought. God I hated this, he was so unhappy with our relationship, and trying to make it work, and here I was dragging him along forcing him to do something he doesn’t want to.
Chris had finally walked down to his room, but before going down he looked over at me…..no emotions, no smile, no warmth, his eyes looked saddened and burdened like he was fighting himself to talk to me. I looked into his eyes, and looked away. I couldn’t sit here and hurt myself
About five minutes later my phone vibrated with a text from Chris
My Baby🐣
-Hey, could you come to my room I want to talk
My heart sank…I felt a lump in my throat begin to form. I just wished in that moment I was not in this position, that I didn’t know Chris, and that I didn’t put myself through this for two years.
Reluctantly I got up, telling Nick and Matt I was going down to talk to Chris. I headed down the steps and walked to his room….not wanting to enter, but I took a deep breath and walked in shutting the door behind me
He was sitting on his bed with his head in his hands…make this stop….take this pain away from us
I sat down next to him hoping he’d start talking first. I felt this overbearing feeling of nausea
“I’m so sorry” he said finally looking up
“You don’t have to be…I know where this is going” I said looking over at him
“I just….I just think we shouldn’t be together anymore” he said finally looking at me
“I had a feeling” I said rubbing my lips together in anxiety
“I just feel like we’ve grown apart. I feel like what we had was amazing and I’ll cherish every moment. You were the best thing to happen to me in my whole life, and I love you so fucking much, but I just feel like we’d be better off separate” he said getting tears in his eye
“I should’ve known sooner when everything changed. I’m sorry for that, sorry for not allowing you to feel safe enough to come to me sooner, and express how you felt” I said to him allowing my eyes to get watery
“This isn’t your fault okay. We are humans you know, we grow apart, and although it may suck it’s what’s best for us” he said letting tears falls
“I just love you so much this is hard Chris” I said letting my tears fall too
“I love you so much, okay? I’m just not in love with you anymore” he said sniffling
My heart shattered at those words. The only guy I’ve ever loved, and he’s telling me he fell out of love with me
“I just don’t understand how we got here” I said wiping my nose
“It’s normal. People grow apart, relationships end that’s just how life works, and it’s not fair, but everything happens for a reason” he said wiping his nose
“I know Chris, it’s just hard I’ve loved you for so long, and now we will no longer be together” I said crying a bit harder
“I’m so sorry, I need you to know that you’re the woman I want to want. You have no idea how badly I want that to be you” he said looking down and shaking his head while crying
“I know…and that’s okay” I said in a whisper
“It’s just I’m going to keep pursuing what I’m pursuing, and you’ll be doing what you want, and we just won’t have time for each other, and this will cause us to resent each other. I’d much rather break it off now than to ever grow any form of hate in my heart for you, okay?” He said rubbing my back and crying with me
“Yes…yes I know, and I’m so glad that you’re doing what’s best for you, but this is going to be so fucking hard. I don’t know that I can let you go” I said breaking down even more, choking out broken sobs
“You will okay baby, you will hurt and so will I, but we’re both strong and we will be okay. We will survive this, and who knows it could be the right person at the wrong time. But without taking this break we will not know this” he said wiping his nose again
“I love you Chris. I love you so fucking much” I said sobbing
“I love you, and I will always love you. You will always be my number one girl. You will always be in my life no matter what, but for now we have to take this time away from one another” he said pulling me in to side hug him
“Yes Chris. We will be okay, I will be okay. I will keep it pushing for you. You will always have my heart, and I hope that you eventually see a future with me” I said hugging his arm that was wrapped around me
“But for now you have to let me go, you have to let me let you go. I need you to do that for me” he said pulling away
I leaned away, keeping my head down and nodding. I finally lifted my head up to look into his red eyes
“Okay I can do that for you” I said crying
“You will always be my girl okay. You are my life, and I love you so much” he said smiling at me
“You’ll always be my number one guy. I love you so much” I said smiling back at him
He pulled me in for a hug, and one last kiss
“I’m going to miss you” I said pulling away from him
“I’m going to miss you too, and I hope we’ll eventually cross paths. If you ever need me just know I’m here for you okay. I will always be just one call away. I hope in a few months time we can hang out again as friends” he said smiling at me
“I hope we cross paths too, and I hope we can continue this friendship in the future” I said wiping my eyes
“We will..I’m never not seeing you again” he said laughing a little bit
“I love you” I said looking into his eyes as I choked on my words a bit
“I love you too” he said giving me a reassuring smile
“Should we tell your fans? I won’t be in the videos or with you guys anymore” I asked him
“Only if you want to” he said
“I think we should. Maybe uh you can make a post about it tomorrow, and then I will too” I said nodding at him
“That’s fine with me” he said standing up from his bed
“Okay cool. I uh think we should tell Matt and Nick” I said
“Yeah we should” he said
We both left his room, and walked to the living room where Nick and Matt were.
“Hey guys” Chris said
“Hey you guys okay?” Matt asked
“Um yeah. We just wanted to let you know that we broke up” Chris said
“Oh…” They both said
“Uh yeah it’s for the best, and we’ve decided to full on break apart, so I’m going to be taking time away from you guys as a whole” I said to them
“We’re going to miss you so much” Nick said looking sad
“I’m going to miss you guys too, but maybe we’ll eventually see each other” I said trying not to cry
“We will. I hope nothing but the best for you guys” Matt said smiling at me
I looked at them before fully breaking down
“I love you guys so much, and please never forget me okay” I said crying
“We would never. We love you so fucking much” Nick said getting up and running over to hug me, Matt getting up and joining us in a group hug
We all pulled apart, teary eyed and sad
“I love you guys, and I’ll be seeing you soon. I’m going to head out now” I said wiping my eyes
“We love you, and always reach out to us for anything” Matt said
“I will. Thank you guys so much” I said waving at them
“I’ll walk you out” Chris said wiping his eyes
“Okay” I said giving him a weak smile
Chris walked me down to my car before giving me one last hug, and then he pulled away
“I guess this is bye for now” I said, unlocking my car, and sitting in it. Closing my door and turning the car on and rolling my window down
“It’s not bye, it’s see you later” Chris said wiping his tears again
I smiled at him putting my car in reverse
“I’ll see you later then Chris” I said to him slowly backing up
“I’ll see you around” he said trying to give me a reassuring smile
“See you” I said giving him one last smile before rolling up my window, and backing out his driveway, and then driving down the road
Leaving behind the man I’ve loved for two years, the man who was my everything. Just completely driving out of his life and potentially never seeing him again. Of course we would love to see each other again, but that could be 1 year from now or 10 years from now….I allowed myself to break down in my car. This was going to be so fucking hard.
The next day Chris and I decided that he would make the post and collab it with me, so I can share it as well, but he picked the picture and wrote the caption attaching the song see you later by Jenna Raine. He posted it and within minutes the comments and DM’s were flooding in. Our post getting shared and edits immediately being made. Nick and Matt even shared our post adding comments on it, and what to expect from them now that I’m no longer in the picture. So many people accepted our decision, and so many people were sad about us splitting. Most of his fans loved us, and they were so distraught.
I hadn't read the post yet I was scared to have to finalize this decision we made, but when I did I broke down immediately
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❤️nicolassturniolo, matthew.sturniolo, sturniolo.triplets and 650,000 others
christophersturniolo: I have loved this girl for the past two years of my life, and I will continue to love her. We have decided to separate as it’s what’s best for us in this chapter of our lives. We will always love one another, and we hope that one day we cross paths again. Y/N may be the right person at the wrong time, and while we figure this out we’d really appreciate it if you guys respect our privacy. She will no longer be in our videos, and we want you guys to respect that decision we have made. We love you guys dearly❤️. But most importantly I love Y/N with my whole heart….she will always be my number one girl. Even though you didn’t make it to the end of my story, I’ll always have the corner folded down on your page; because it was one of my favorites. I love you Y/N🥀
This message broke me. I loved Chris so much, but I had to let him go. I hope to see him in the future.
The End
This was pure self indulgence and now I’m sad LMAOAO. But let me know if you liked this one 🥹🖤
-J💅🏽
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midnightmoonytales · 11 months
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𝕃𝕒𝕤𝕥 ℕ𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥 𝕄.ℝ.
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CW: Toxic relationship, implied smut, fighting, cursing, alcohol, weed/cigarettes.
Based on request: @thesonglyricchick "I was wondering if you could do a fic with Mattheo and Y/n based on Morgan Wallen's song, Last Night."
A/N: This was actually extremely hard to write which is shocking for the number of douchebags I've dated (it's only 2 I'm being dramatic - as per use) lol I could definitely see myself re-writing this in the future I don’t feel like this is my best work
Not Edited
WC: 1.8K
<><><>
Slytherin had just won the quidditch cup against Gryffindor, cheers and boos soared all through the stands. Slytherin colors consumed the stands as green and silver confetti shot through the air. Mattheo, Theodore, and Draco could be seen high up in the sky celebrating, bubbling with a sense of accomplishment. This was the last year they could play quidditch together, and whom better to defeat than no other than Gryffindor themselves.
Pansy, Blaise, and you all rushed out of the stands to celebrate Slytherin's victory with your friends. Mounting the ground, Mattheo searched for you in the stands only to notice you rushing towards him on the field, quickly dropping his broom in order to catch you. Jumping into his sweaty arms, "You did it," you cheered, cupping his face between your hands, and kissing him repeatedly. "I'm so proud of you," laughing at the way your cherry lipgloss stained his lips.
"Only because I had my lucky charm cheering me on," He smirked, going in for another taste of your cherry lipgloss. Rolling your eyes, your heart fluttered, even if he had said it after every win since 5th year.
"Mmm, as much as I love kissing you," you mumbled into the kiss, "You need a shower and we have a celebration to attend," tapping his chest a few times, signaling to let you down. Reluctantly, he lowered you to the ground, not without placing one last kiss and a smack to the ass.
Last night we let the liquor talk. I can't remember everything we said, but we said it all. You told me that you wish I was somebody you never met. But baby, baby, something tellin' me this ain't over yet.
The Slytherin room was bustling with students, the sound of their chatter being drowned out by the sound of blasting music. The room was dark and hazy, the lights dimmed into a dark green, the mass amount of smoke making it seem as if someone brought a muggle fog machine.
In the corner, Pansy, Theodore, Mattheo, and you were crowded around a small table, playing some sort of muggle game. It was so simple, all you had to do was make it into the cup. You would think Theodore and Mattheo would be better at the game, seeing as they literally wack flying balls into hoops all of the time for sport; Unfortunately for them, Pansy and you were winning with only one cup left, compared to your four. Their annoyance is evident as they gulped down another cup of alcohol. Blaise and Draco bent over in laughter, watching the guys lose. Better those two idiots than them, they thought.
You managed to land the ball into the last cup, "Oh come on," Mattheo shouted defeatedly, chugging the last cup of alcohol on his side. Pansy latched onto you, jumping up and down, laughing together over your success. While you didn't have as many drinks as the boys; you were definitely feelin' a little bit of the effects. Theodore had already found his way to the couch Draco and Blaise were residing on, slouched over with his hand covering his eye.
"Hey, I'm going to grab another drink babes," you mumbled into Pansy's ear, "want anything?" You already knew what she wanted to drink, she always ordered the same thing, anything fruity with a kick. Squeezing your way through sweaty bodies, you made it to the drink table, pouring Pansy and yourself a drink.
"Hey," a voice said from behind you, looking around you noticed a Hufflepuff boy who Theodore got his weed from. You never cared to learn his name, there was never much reason to; Theodore bought the weed and you gave him the galleons for your share. You nodded at him, paying no mind to him as you went to continue pouring yourself a drink. "Hey," the voice said again, tapping your shoulder.
Rolling your eyes, "Can I help you?" His sluggish smile and heavy eyes gleamed at finally having your attention. All you wanted to do was get you and your best friend a drink, and he was stalling that process. Your eyes roamed around the room, looking for your boyfriend, only to see him talking to some girl; eyeing the way her hand was gliding up and down his arm. You hadn't even realized the boy in front of you was speaking, his voice drowning out with the music. "Hmm?" Your attention finally being back to the boy in front of you.
"I asked if you wanted to dance," He asked again, slightly annoyed that you weren't even listening to him. Your eyes scanned the boy in front of you; he wasn't bad looking, with long blonde hair that was shaped nicely around his rosy cheeks, a few inches taller than you, strong build. You debated the pros and cons in your head; if you agreed, Mattheo would be given a taste of his own medicine, plus maybe you could sweet-talk him into giving you some free weed. Downing your drink, you grabbed his hand and pulled him toward the dance floor.
Your body flowed smoothly; the music reverberated through your bones; the alcohol made you feel as if you were dancing on clouds. His hands moved inexperiencedly up and down your sides, You could tell he never danced with a girl before, and if he had....well, good for him, sorry for her.
You don't know how long you were dancing before you felt a hand yank you from the Hufflepuff boys' grip, "The fuck do you think you're doing?" Mattheo exclaimed, his eyes burning with rage, breath reeking of alcohol. Rolling your eyes, of course, he wanted to throw a fit now, but he would gladly let a girl be all over him.
"Dancing, what the fuck does it look like?" You snapped back, scoffing as you ripped your arm out of his hold, moving to return to the makeshift dance floor. "Now if you excuse me, I'm going to go back to enjoying myself," you shouted over the music, "So piss off back to your little bitch,"
It didn't take long for him to follow you, hot on your tail. "Don't you fucking take that tone with me," He growled, gripping your arm as he dragged you up to his dorm. It wasn't a surprise to you as he dragged you up the staircase to his dorm rather it was your normal; Pansy would always ask you-in private of course-why, you were still with him when all you did was fight. She wasn't wrong of course, the two of you would have a huge fight, only to break up, then get back together two days later.
Slamming his door open, he yanked you into the room only slam you against the wall, lips immediately attacking to your neck. Not caring to even cast a locking charm, the only thing flooding his mind was showing you who you belonged too. "Fuck you Riddle."
"Don't worry darling, you'll be doin' that soon," He bit your neck, lapping at the tiny drops of blood beading on your neck. "Now be a good whore and get on your knees," He smirked, shoving your shoulder down until your knees hit the freezing hardwood floor.
You, you know that you love to fight, and I say shit I don't mean, But I'm still goin' wake up wantin' you and me; No way it was our last night; No way it was the last night that we break up, You call your momma, I call your bluff, In the middle of the night, pull it right back up; I wouldn't trade your kind of love for nothin' else
It had been a fairly calm day until Mattheo had barged into your dorm, nose dripping with blood. All plans of doing your hair and nails with Pansy were thrown out the window when your disgruntled boyfriend marched bloody straight into your bathroom. You followed him, expecting an explanation.
Only, you never received an explanation, instead, he started snapping at you for something you had no control over. "He's my fucking potions partner, if you want to bitch at anyone, bitch at Snape!" You argued, dabbing his nose with a wet towel in order to clean dried-up blood.
"I saw the way you were looking at him, don't fucking lie," He pushed back, eyes darkening with anger. You scoffed, exasperated, at the accusations he accused you of. You had to look at a person to talk to them. It's not like you can talk to someone with your back turned. So much for a peaceful day, you thought. But what were you expecting it was Mattheo you were dating. No day was ever quiet when you are dating a Riddle.
"Oh please, pull your head out of your arse," You snarled, currently annoyed at the bloody boy in front of you. Twisting his nose ever so slightly at his complaining, earning a yelp admitting from his mouth. "Godric forbid I look at anyone that isn't you!" You snapped, all you wanted was to spend a relaxing day with your best friend; instead, you were arguing with your boyfriend in the bathroom while cleaning up his blood, "News flash asshole I don't need your fuckin' permission to look at someone!" You said, slamming the towel you were holding onto the counter, storming your way out of the bathroom.
No way it was our last night, We said we'd had enough, I can't remember everything we said but we said too much; I know you packed your shit and slammed the door right before you left, but baby something tellin' me this ain't over yet; I know you said this time you really weren't coming back again, but baby somethin's tellin' me this ain't over yet;
"I can't do this anymore," You groaned, you don't know how long the two of you were at it this time. All you remembered was leaving the great hall this morning peacefully, only to be thrown into a yelling match as soon as you met Mattheo in his dorm. The boys had left the two of you alone as soon as you started yelling, not wanting to be brought into whatever you both were arguing about this time.
"Good, because I can't either," He spits out, eye surveying you moving around his bed to gather the items you left for when you would sleep over.
"I'm serious Mattheo, I'm done," You said, slamming the dresser drawer shut with your hip as you juggled everything in your arms. His mouth was left agape like he wanted to say something more, but he didn't. "Goodbye, Riddle," You whispered, shifting everything into one arm as you opened the dorm door, refusing to look back at him as you closed the door behind you. This was the end you told yourself.
<><><>
If your crossed out I could not tag you
@lost-cause96 @carolspalace @drugs-for-memes @slytherinqueen123 @ghostofscarley @devilishwitchfantasies @lovegoods-things @tinafuentes @mylastnamesyuh @heartjay @chocochannie @horneybeach1 @goth-blackcat @nataliexoxoxo29
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darkacademicvibes · 11 months
Text
We Think Similar Thoughts
Lonely!fem!reader x Lonely!Remus Lupin
CW: Swearing, a little bit of mean!Remus but not to reader, mentions of The Prank.
This is just soft, lonely people making friends with each other. If it gets 20 Notes I'll make it a series, not the next post, but the one after will hopefully be a 'She's a drug' part 2. Hopefully being the key word.
Anyway! Enjoy :)
Edit: Made a soundtrack :D
☕︎
Remus has no where else to go.
The room of requirement is the only place he can think of that the others wouldn't bother him. He's hurt, and he has every right to be, so why was it bothering him so much? Sirius tried to make a monster out of him, Sirius tried to use him like some pawn in a game of chess, and then he labeled it a prank and called it a day, expecting Remus to forgive him. Remus feels like he has no one left. It's been two days and Peter has forgiven Sirius, and he can see James starting to miss his brother.
The door appears and Remus walks into the room, the door vanishing the second Remus' hand leaves the bronze knob. The familiar secret library smells more like home than the dorm has the past few days, but the sound of the piano in the back of the room has him on edge. Who else could be thinking the exact thought as him?
𝘐 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘢 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘐 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘣 𝘰𝘧 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦.
He peers around the last bookshelf by the familiar grand piano and freezes, you sit there, playing so beautifully, and looking so sad. Your fingers seemingly float over the keys as you sing softly under your breath, he can barely recognize the song. To The Bone, by Sammy Copley. A song he's never particularly enjoyed, but hearing it so quietly compared to how Sirius plays the record, the loudest his record player can go, he doesn't mind it all that much. Though it's still far from being a favorite.
You finish the song and prepare yourself to play again before pausing, "you can sit down, you know, I don't bite" you murmur, and for a moment, he's surprised at just how sweet you sound.
He sits down in the window seat, grabbing his copy of 'The son of the wolf' by Jack London. Your eyes follow his movements before turning back to the black and white keys in front of you and beginning to play again, singing the only song you know by heart just a little louder than before, ignoring the way Remus Lupins eyes watch you instead of his book. After playing twice more, he seems to find the courage to ask the question that has been on the tip of his tongue for the last eight minutes. "Why are you only playing that song?" your fingers start up again, playing the same song as you think.
"It's the one I know best, I've played this song enough to be able to claim I know it like the back of my hand"
"What are you doing in this specific requirement room?"
"I'm lonely"
"How are you talking and playing at the same time?"
"I know this song like the back of my hand"
"Why are you lonely?"
You laugh softly, a gentle smile on your lips as he asks question after question. "Why are you?"
Remus Lupin pauses, thinking for a moment. He knows who you are, he has Alchemy with you every Thursday fourth period. And he saw you signing up for the same professor course he did last week at Hogsmeade, offering to teach music to the younger kids on your weekends. He teaches literature to kids just one year above your student group. It's a fun program, he likes teaching. He knows he wants to be a professor when he graduates, preferably one of the muggle studies professors. Historic literature is his favorite muggle studies class, it always has been.
"My friends aren't good people sometimes" He admits, picking at the sleeve of his favorite sweater. There's a small hole, right where he chews on the sleeve, he notices. "But I asked you first" your fingers dance over the keys as easily as if they were toying with a pencil.
"I don't know why I'm lonely, I think I just am" you admit, sadness twisting slightly in your heart. The room provides you a simple cinnamon roll, extra icing. Remus feels guilt prickle down his spine, and the room provides him with a beat up copy of Alice In Wonderland. You smile at it as he flushes red.
He's seventeen years old, for Merlin's sake!
He pushes the book away as you finish your song again, the more you play, the less he minds it. If he didn't know any better, he'd say he was beginning to enjoy it.
"Maybe I'm lonely because I don't make friends easily" you continue, and it has him sitting up in his seat properly, legs crossed and using his finger as a bookmark. "All the friends I do have never write to me over holidays unless I write them first, and I'm always having to walk behind them unless I want to walk on the grass. I'm not a very good judge of character, so I stick with whoever has the mind to accept me; I tag along when I'm invited, and I hope they have a good time when I'm not" you shrug, pulling the cinnamon roll apart, piece by piece, eating the small chunks of sweet bread as you pull it to bits. Icing coats your fingers, but you don't mind, and it makes Remus smile.
"I could be your friend" he offers.
"Why?"
"Well, you're lonely, I'm lonely, why can't we be lonely together?"
You turn back to the piano, your brothers voice ringing in your ears.
𝘸𝘩𝘺 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘴𝘰 𝘭𝘰𝘶𝘥? 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘨𝘰 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘢𝘭𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘺.
"I like green, it's my favorite colour" Remus states, and for a moment, you're confused.
"What's yours?" he wonders, you hesitate. "I can never choose between brown, and Y/F/C" you wait for the judgement, for the laughter, for the familiar comment 'brown? like shit?'.
It never comes.
"I like brown but I wouldn't say it's a favourite" you stare at him for a long moment before a smile tugs at the corners of your lips and you can't help but smile as you look down at the half finished cinnamon roll in front of you, your hair falling to hide your face as you untuck it from behind your ear. A part of you wants to accept his offer of being friends, but another part calls it a temporary situation. He seems mad at his other friends, the other three boys that make up the marauders. Of course he'd be looking to spend some time with anyone else.
"y'know, I really don't like To The Bone, but you play it differently. It's nice your way. I prefer it" warmth spreads through your chest, the only compliments you ever got on your musical talents were from the kids you teach, but they're amazed by everything at their age. It's nice to be complimented by a peer, of course, you'd probably get more compliments if you bothered to play in front of people, other than twenty-four nine-year-olds.
"Thank you, is there a different song you like that I might know?"
He thinks for a moment before, seemingly nervous, he requests a song.
"Do you know 'Here comes the sun'?"
Instead of answering, you wipe your fingers on the small brown napkin that came with the cinnamon roll and begin playing. Singing quietly along. Sadly, you can't play Here Comes The Sun without singing it, otherwise you constantly lose your place and have to start again. A common issue for you. Thankfully, Remus doesn't seem to mind as he leans back against the window, watching you play.
It's definitely not the exact song, and it's certainly not as upbeat, but Remus finds himself enjoying that about your music. It's soft, almost like if hot chocolate on a snowy day was a genre.
He can't quite explain why, but he feels the need to watch you as you play.
He's always thought of you as pretty, your Y/H/C hair and Y/E/C eyes, and the few freckles that dot over your nose and cheeks. One, higher than the rest, sits high on your cheekbone, not far from your eye.
He's even occasionally considered approaching you, but you always seemed to slip away from your shared classes unnoticed. And you almost never eat in the great hall, choosing to wander around as you eat instead.
He allows himself to admire the way the golden sunlight shines in fractured streaks of soft yellow over you and the piano, the light making the highlighter on your nose a bit more noticeable.
He likes your style, beat up pink converse and your uniform, little things added and taken away to make it more.. 𝘺𝘰𝘶, he supposes.
Your blue skirt is supposed to have silver plaid squares, but you've charmed it to stick to a simple plaid pattern of different shades of blue, your grey sweater isn't a school one, and he can see the way some of your hair sits underneath the fabric, like you hadn't bothered to pull your hair out of the sweater after putting it on; and you have a bracelet on, made out of brown, yellow, and white embroidery thread.
"I think dinner is starting soon" Remus announces. You press a wrong key and wince, frowning.
"Okay"
"Do you want to head down now?"
"I don't know"
"Okay"
It's silent for a moment before you stand up. "You mean it? You really want to be my friend?" he nods, gathering his things slowly as you return a book from your bag to a nearby shelf. "I do, why?" he asks. Did you think he was lying before? The thought makes his heart hurt a little. "No reason, do you want to sit with me for dinner?" You wait for his answer, but you don't get one. You turn to face him, and he's smiling at you sweetly, offering his hand.
You quickly pull your bag over your shoulder before hesitantly accepting his hand, he leads you out of the room and rolls his eyes at the sight of Sirius Black leaning against the wall, holding a folded piece of parchment and toying nervously with the corners. Sirius falls into step with the two of you, sending you a questioning glance before turning to Remus. "Moony, I know I fucked up bad, but-" Remus swaps hands with you, pulling you away from Sirius as he cuts the boy off. "But nothing, Sirius. I'm hanging out with a friend so if you don't mind, could you fuck off? Thanks." Remus snaps, and you raise an eyebrow as guilt flashes in his eyes and Sirius stops abruptly, watching the two of you walk away.
"Sorry, Y/N" you shrug, entirely unbothered.
"It's fine, if you're mad at him, I won't question you. I trust you have good judgement" you assure him.
He laughs and smiles at you teasingly. "You just complemented yourself y'know, so confidently, too" your face burns as you realize what he means. "Oh."
"Don't worry, I think I have good judgement too" he bumps your shoulder with his arm gently. "Yeah, makes up for how freakishly tall you are" you murmur jokingly, and he laughs.
You both slip into a seat at the Ravenclaw table as the rest of the marauders watch from the Gryffindor table, all missing their friend as guilt stings at them.
☕︎︎
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accio-victuuri · 5 months
Text
cpn time: yibo’s new songs 🎧
here we are, two songs and a bunch of short video clips later, but this post will be more about the lyrics. if you haven’t listened to the tracks then please enjoy bystander and everything is lovely first before anything else. i’m so thankful that wyb has kept his promise to fans of bringing us a new song every year and also performing it during nye. he may not be the most obvious when it comes to appreciating his fans but this is the best example of his commitment to sharing himself to fans and treating us.
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i will start with some minor clues before we get into the lyrics and all that clowning interpretation. 🙇‍♀️
1. The first 3 photos that yibo-official released as soon as it turned 12:00, one of them was color pink, or you can say, very light shade of red. His photos released before had a more solid red like that from a traffic light but this one leans more towards pink.
A very nice choice of color knowing how he relates pink to being the color of love and and all the other symbolism we attached to it.
& when yibo posted it, he placed the pink one in the middle vs yibo-official’s who placed it on the right.
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2. Same choice of words between their studios, especially with reference to the gap of time. We are definitely looking closer than a normal fan would when it comes to their studio’s captions, edits, posting time etc and to a normal fan this would just fly over their head. but the amount of coincidence between the two is too much!
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3. QQ released parts of the lyrics and this one, the chorus of everything is lovely ( up to the part talking about love of coming home ), the word love was mentioned 23 times. Love Zhan. I mean, we all know this boys loves 2 and 3 😂😂😂
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4. The timing of release for their projects this day. Another example of how they don’t overlap with the day or time. XZ’s marie claire was between 10-12 and then WYB stuff of course started coming out at 12:00. this follows their pattern 👀
5. I really like what this bxg discovered, the way everything is lovely was written, if you turn in upside down it may read wyb loves xz. 🤯🤯🤯
for those of us who have been subjected to xz’s artwork and the little things he hides, this should be believable to you. he is known to do these things, even without the cpn intention.
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BYSTANDER
I gotta say, i’m leaning more towards this song, i didn’t expect it! I just love how it sounds and i’m with those who felt nostalgic while listening to it. it seems familiar and brand new at the same time. The melody of the first few lines got me thinking of words ( bee gees ) and the guitar/drums played are excellent too! I hope he sings this with a live band please! 🙏🏼
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I often watch, listen and feel like reaching out to touch.
Holding a handful of seawater to see it’s dreamlike color.
this is more of a song ( atleast to me ) that speaks of who WYB is as a person. a bystander/spectator/onlooker. he is someone who observes people and keeps quiet first before engaging. but that doesn’t mean he is indifferent, in this song, he talks about admiring the things around him.
i’m also thinking of a wish to be a bystander. XZ/WYB repeatedly said that the super power they wish to have in invisibility so they just roam around without people noticing them. in a way, it’s wyb’s ( and by extension xz ) wish to be able to do this.
Embrace all the joys and sorrows of life. Listen to the plucked feathers speak, wings aiming for the vast sky.
Watch a fallen leaf repeating until the four seasons bring it back to the branch. I cannot see another galaxy but believe in me in a more distant place.
i see this as basically yibo and zz’s view in life, they are willing to go through the good and bad. their lives may seem ideal because they are celebrities but it’s far from that so they just have to focus on the good.
Don’t ask me what i’m looking for, let life pass through.
it’s him just wanting to be left alone, to allow him to go through his life without people watching his every move. or maybe there isn’t anything he is looking for or aiming for, he is just enjoying and going through his life. This line speaks to me so much! There’s really no need to be constantly trying to achieve things and be exhausted by the end of it. Sometimes, it’s okay to sit back and enjoy the simple things.
EVERYTHING IS LOVELY
I have discussed this song before, especially the chorus that covers a lot of the CPNs. I feel the same way about my interpretation of those lines even after learning the lyrics of the whole song.
My hands, accustomed to patting my head, opening up the memory of the river and pond. There are always a few good friends by the side.
Listening to the cicadas, watching the fishing boats.
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WYB who likes to pat his head as an example 😂 so this is really from his POV and a more personal touch to start this song.
Listening to the cicadas and watching the fishing boat? This paints a picture of them during CQL shoot and hanging out.
I’m cackling tho at bxg interpretation of the lines that talk about river & ponds and then him having friends on the side. So who are the friends by that pod? Turtles? LOL. 😂😂😂😂
How to distinguish between people, whether post-00s are young or very mature.
This is so WYB. Reminding us of when he always made a point to say that GG looks so young or that they have no age gap 🥹🥹🥹
Under the mud, lotus roots finally grown. Please, lotus flowers do not look back.
Lotus roots/ Lotus flowers. What a peculiar choice to include in the song. Maybe there is some deeper explanation here that has something to do with culture or what but as a clown, our minds went to CQL.
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It’s a part of the story and who can forget that behind the scenes of WYB pulling out those lotus seeds for XZ? 🙃
I tightly hold on to the people i once lost.
I like the way some people have interpreted this line. If what we think is true, that they lost each other at some point after the cql shoot then this line makes sense. They had some time apart after that shoot and XZ went to Japan to clear his head. The people around them also encouraged to take this time away from each other and get out of character. But they still found their way back as XZ/WYB. 🤍
The main thing in this song tho is— everything is lovely because you (xz) are in everything. 😭😭😭😭
-END.
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alovesreading · 7 months
Text
Constant Repeat | Part 17
Summary: Having worked at Focus Creeps for a year, Ella knows that as a production assistant and part of the crew, there’s one important rule: don’t interact with the talent unless it’s needed. But once she meets Arctic Monkeys, and the recording of the music videos for their upcoming fourth studio album starts, the band seem to become her exception. Not only because they treat her more like a friend than just someone else they’re working with but when Alex continuously makes her blush with his flirting, so enthralled by her that he forgets he’s got a girlfriend, Ella finds herself growing closer to him. As videos are filmed, wrapped and edited, the friendship lines become blurry. Situations unfold, secrets are told and others are kept under lock and key, but how long can Alex and Ella endure being stuck in each other’s minds on constant repeat.
Word Count: 36k
Story Warnings: Throughout this series there will be suggestive talk, jealousy, cheating, alcohol and drug use, angst, smut.
A/N: This took me way too long and I'm so very sorry but it's officially the longest chapter of this series and I hope it's worth the wait. Had a bit of this written for a while and I'm so glad to be finally sharing it with you all, it's one of my favourite moments in this story. Thank you so much for your patience and your constant love, I truly appreciate it and I'm sending all the love to you guys. Hope you enjoy!!!! xx
Masterlist
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 |
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✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧
Bonnaroo was always good to her. Being home, spending time with her sister and her best friend, seeing her parents and just enjoying life in her hometown always filled her with the rawest, and most exhilarating amount of happiness. But this year, the Monkeys would come along and that was a promise of an even better time.
Ever since the very first time they attended the festival, Ella and Lily took their mother's car and their friends would go on the backseats, all of them screaming together the lyrics of whichever songs would play on the radio as they made their way to the festival grounds.
The chatter would grow loud as they parked and then put up their tents. Excitement bubbling up inside them, making them toss and turn all night until they gave up and decided to just drink and laugh outside on the grass until they noticed the time and had to crawl into their tents and pass out from exhaustion.
And it was no different this time around.
It was surreal how every time she went to the festival, Ella felt like she was sixteen again—finally attending the event and camping without parents so they could finally get shit-faced and high without having to worry about being caught by their parents—only this time the ache in the bones and their lower backs reminded them that they were approaching their late 20s.
Still, they enjoyed every day of the festival like it'd be their last.
Ella was joined by her sister Lily and Jayne, her best friend, who had brought her fiance, Lewis, alongside with her. Lewis had been coming along for a fair few years then, instantly earning the Hayes sisters approval after he had joined them for the first time, and he was always very enthusiastic about the tradition.
The first day of the festival was incredible as per usual. Everyone in attendance was high on energy and ready for the long four days that awaited them, the crowds screaming along and cheering for the acts, the air filled with the scent of weed and nicotine, people dancing and singing, flags waving in the air.
Ella would sigh and smile brightly every five minutes. So good to be home, she thought at the sight of muddy cowboy boots and beer filled cups.
The group went around the different stages, enjoying the music with Tennessee whiskey in one hand and a cigarette in the other.
And that same thing happened every single day.
On day two they'd enjoyed watching bands like CHVRCHES and Vampire Weekend, stuffing their faces with Mexican food until they had to sit down to recharge their energy.
Day three had been when they saw Cage The Elephant, Damon Alabarn—who Ella and Lily had gone crazy upon seeing so close. If Alex thought Ella had gone insane when she called him after seeing that cover of the NME magazine where he stood beside the Blur and Gorillaz lead singer, he would've thought she had gone fully mad at the festival. Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds had been another highlight of the Saturday and the great Jack White had been the one to close the day.
Saturday had been a long day but despite the exhaustion that exuded from the group as they walked back to their car and tents, Ella was still buzzing with energy. The sole reason for the evaporation of her tiredness and the rush of adrenaline that surged through her was the knowledge that the Monkeys were on their way there and would be in the same place as her in the morning.
There had been a skip in her step and she was humming a Fleetwood Mac song under her breath as she walked with her sister to the Plaza to take a shower. And Lily had frowned at her the whole time because not even when they got back to their tents, and they watched Jayne and Lewis leave for the showers, did the director show any signs of being worn out by the long day and wanting to rest.
"G'night weirdo." Lily said to her sister as she went inside her tent.
She winced when Ella replied, "Night! Love you!" in an obnoxiously chipper tone to have at almost two in the morning.
After smoking a cigarette to calm herself down, Ella went inside her tent and tossed and turned all night until she finally fell asleep. The last thing she remembered before succumbing to her slumber was her phone screen flashing a quarter to four in the morning.
Regardless of how little she'd slept, Ella still sprung out of her sleeping bag at around eight in the morning. A little over four hours of sleep was all she'd gotten, and yet it was as if she'd had the longest sleep of her life from how energized she was—she looked like a pinball going from one place to the other and getting ready as quickly as she could to go see if the band had gotten there already.
Ella called Bre a handful of times as she brushed her teeth and did her skin care, muttering profanities every time her calls went to voicemail. She knew she was being awful, blasting her best friend's phone so early in the morning but she was too eager to see them all again, she just couldn't help herself.
Finally, when Ella was power walking back from the Plaza to her tent, Bre picked up the phone and Ella greeted her with a screech and a hasty, "Where are you guys?! Have you arrived yet?!"
When Bre confirmed that the tour bus was parked by the artist's area, Ella ran the rest of the way back to where they had set up camp. After hastily dropping everything inside her bag, she set off with Bre still on the phone to try and find each other.
It took them about twenty minutes to do so, after a lot of chaos heard through the phone and Bre getting lost a few times, and when Ella managed to see the model from afar, a knot formed in her throat.
Tears spilled down her face as she ran towards Bre and when they finally collided into each other's arms, almost falling in the process from how hard they'd bumped into the other, it all felt right again.
They swayed in each other's arms, sniffling from the emotion that overcame them, and it was Ella who pulled back and swallowed a sob to shout softly, "You're engaged!"
"I know!" Bre said in the same volume, breathlessly, still unable to wrap her head around the fact that Matt had gotten down on one knee as they walked down the streets of Amsterdam and proposed to her.
"What the fuck?!" Ella whisper-shouted, looking down at Bre's left hand and her eyes went wide at the sight of the big diamond ring, "Holy shit, that's a rock!"
"I fucking know!!" Bre repeated herself, the state of shock that had bathed her for the past six days made her giggle though.
The model threw herself in the arms of the director again, enjoying having her best friend back again, sighing in bliss and frankly saying, "I missed you."
"Missed you more babe." Ella replied easily, "So much." She could feel even more tears pooling in her eyes and threatening to spill, she had to close her eyes harshly so as not to become a mess of tears.
The second she closed her eyes, Ella missed the sight of a disheveled Alex who came out of the tour bus rubbing his eyes with a cigarette hanging loosely from his lips, dressed in a white shirt and some grey joggers.
It was Alex who noticed her first, managing to blink a few times until he was decently awake. Enough for him to see a face he'd been yearning to see up close for too long.
He plucked the cigarette out of his mouth in a haste, shoving it inside the pocket of his joggers before letting out a breathy, "Ella?" that made her open her eyes in a split second.
Ella felt like the air had been stolen from her lungs, a mere squeak coming from her before she let go of Breana and moved towards Alex.
The singer was faster than her, like a magnetic pull had made him dash up to her, wrapping his arms tightly around her and lifting her up the ground as he hugged her. Her legs instinctively went around his waist, her arms clutching him impossibly tight over his shoulders, almost like she wanted to become one with him and never be teared away from him.
"Oh god." Ella muttered in between tears, trying to keep her emotions at bay seemed like an impossible task then when being in Alex's arms brought back all that she'd been missing the past month and a half.
"Darling." Alex whispered in her ear, a mix of relief and hurt that she understood so well. "Fuck, I missed you so much." He added as he inhaled her scent, letting himself indulge in the feeling of her wrapped all around him.
God had he fucking missed her.
"Me too." Ella sniffled as she said, her words coming out broken as she tried not to audibly cry.
Alex went to put her down and pull back to calm her down but she held on tighter, like a koala, shaking her head softly as she pleaded, "No, stay a little longer."
They stayed like that for a few more seconds, until Ella started slipping down despite Alex's tight grasp on the back of her thighs. She let herself stand back up, slowly peeling herself off Alex to finally see his face and she cooed at the sight of his bedhead and his puffy eyes.
"Awh, sweets. Did you just wake up?" She brushed his hair back softly, trying to tame the strands of hair that fell all over his forehead and tickled the lids of his eyes.
He hummed in confirmation, his cheeks tinting a subtle pink that didn't go unnoticed by her. She giggled under her breath and he brought his right hand to her waist to pinch her flesh softly to scold her for laughing at him.
"How've you been? Has the festival been good so far?" Alex changed the topic, his eyes catching Bre with a smirk on her face closely watching the scene unfold in front of her.
Just as Ella nodded and corrected his wording by saying, "Amazing." Alex watched as Breana winked at him and left for the bus, possibly going back inside the vehicle to wake her fiance up.
Alex was relieved to be alone with Ella just as the girl added, "But it just got a thousand times better."
He could freely smile like an absolute idiot and dip down to press a bunch of kisses all over her face as he mumbled, "Aren't you cute?" He could hear the twang of her southern accent weaving around her words and it was doing things to him.
Ella giggled stupidly as he attacked her face with short sweet pecks, the apples of her cheeks aching from how hard she was smiling by the time he ended up kissing down her jaw and left one last kiss on the side of her neck before he stated, "Love you."
"Love you too." She reciprocated, letting her arms cross around the back of his neck, fingers going up to his hair and his eyes fluttered at the feeling of her nails scratching softly on his scalp.
"God, I missed you." His words came out like a groan, one that reverberated against her chest and awoke a fire that she'd been trying to keep contained for the past few months. A fire that she had been trying to ignore, like the wind could sizzle down the flames until they dropped to a few agonizing sparks all on its own.
Ella couldn't not admit, "Missed you more."
But Alex shook his head to prove his point, "Impossible."
Nothing could compare anymore. After coming to terms with how he truly felt about Ella, it was like he was burning up alive at that very moment, wanting nothing more than to scream it out for everyone to hear—how it was only her, how badly he wanted to just be able to kiss her and hold her and never have to be away from her, as selfish as that sounded.
"Where are the rest of the guys?" Ella asked once she pulled back from the hug, snapping Alex out of his trance. She could see the way he looked at her and it was making her knees weak.
Does he realize the way he's looking at me? She thought, wanting to tell him to stop and have some mercy on her heart. She could only bear so much.
Clearing her throat, she made a stupid question to which she already knew the answer to, "Kelly and Katie came along, yeah?"
Alex still nodded, despite knowing that Ella had been on facetime with the two a few days before and just talking about how much fun it'd be once they got to see each other again. "Mhm. They're still asleep."
Ella was about to wince and apologize for coming by so early when a familiar voice rang behind her saying, "Yeah not me."
She turned around quickly and a massive smile appeared back on her face, rushing towards the drummer to hug him and cheer about the latest news, "Helders! Congratulations!"
"Ah, thanks Ellie." He said back, leaving a kiss on her temple and then pulling away to ask, "How's it going?"
"Great! Good to have y'all home." Her stomach flipped just by saying that aloud, like it made it even more real and she couldn't believe it. She had to hold back from pinching herself just in case she was dreaming.
Matt raised his brows at the way she was smiling, gently elbowing her to point out, "Looks like you're up to no good with us here now."
It was then that her sweet smile changed to a smirk, one that didn't match the raise of her hands as if declaring innocence while she promised, "Me? Nooooo. I'm just tryna make sure y'all have the best time over here."
Right then, Bre appeared back at the door of the tour bus and waved Ella over, leaving her fiance to not be able to scoop anything out of Ella about what she had been planning for them now that they were in her hometown.
With a skip in her step, Ella made way to the bus and followed Bre inside. They softly walked into the lounge and sat in the black leather settee, whispering as they started to chat so that they wouldn't wake the rest of the group up.
However, when Matt and Alex walked back inside and they joined the two girls in the lounge, their volume got louder and it ended up waking everyone up.
Nick was the first to come out to the lounge, rubbing his eyes until he saw Ella sitting there with Alex's arm draped over her shoulders and he froze in his place only to quickly walk up to her and hug her tightly.
Just as Ella was about to ask about Kelly, the pregnant woman came out wobbling her way down the slim hallway. Her face lit up when she saw the American girl there with them after so long. Ella, of course cried when she hugged her and saw the amount that her bump had grown. It was so mental to think that Kelly was already five months along.
Jamie and Katie came out of the bunk area twenty minutes later, actually looking ready for the day unlike everyone else in the lounge.
"When are you gonna make me an auntie then?" Ella said teasingly after hugging the couple, congratulating them properly for their marriage then, and shedding some more tears over the love she had for them.
"Don't." Alex warned as he shook his head, "They're already horrendous. Don't encourage them."
Laughter filled the room at the despair the singer let shine through his words. Alex was so happy to hear Ella's laugh right by his ear again, having her lean into him as she giggled, her hand coming to squeeze his thigh softly and leaving her warm touch there until she inevitably moved.
Ella's phone rang loudly interrupting their conversation, and when she saw that it was her sister and that it was nearly eleven in the morning, she let out a gasp. Excusing herself to answer the phone, Ella walked out of the bus.
Alex didn't even think twice before getting up from his seat and following her, grabbing a cigarette pack from the table and a lighter to take with him.
"Yeah, I know." He heard Ella say to her sister on the phone, "Just get ready and I'll be there in a bit. I'm gonna get you the passes and we can pack up before coming here so we're ready to leave tonight."
His steps were quiet as he approached her so Ella didn't know he was there until she felt his touch on her waist. He had the cigarette he'd pocketed earlier between his lips and offered Ella the open packet so that she could take one for herself.
"Thanks." Ella mumbled softly, taking the cigarette up to her mouth and letting Alex light it up for her. She gave him a sweet smile after she took the first drag, her expression changing in a split second when she heard her sister complaining on the other side of the phone, "Yeah, yeah. I know, don't be dramatic! Just get your stuff and I'll deal with mine, thanks. Stop being such a bitch, live a little!"
Alex chuckled, this sassy side of her wasn't something he saw often and he fucking loved it. He loved her. He sighed in bliss at the feeling washing over him, feeling her skin under his fingertips and watching her just existing was everything to him.
"Shut up! You're so annoying!" Ella scolded with an eye roll, "I'll be there in a bit, stop complaining. One will think you actually miss me when I'm gone." She taunted her sister who only scoffed in response. "Okay, give me five minutes. Bye bitch."
Alex had his brows raised as she ended the call and she was met with him holding back his laughter when she turned to the side.
"She's impatient, okay?" Ella excused her word choice, "She's complaining about me being late on my way back and her having to pack up my stuff. Which won't happen at all, 'cause I'm literally going back in a bit!"
Alex only hummed, siding with her, and Ella smiled at the confirmation that she was correct. "Want me to bring you the passes? Steve left them somewhere in the lounge."
She nodded, knowing it would only be a matter of time before her sister started blowing up her phone again. "Please? The quicker I go back, the sooner I can be back here."
The smile that pulled at the corners of Alex's mouth was intoxicating and the way he squeezed her waist before going back in the bus made her knees weak. Ella almost choked on the smoke she was inhaling as she watched him walk away, the rising sun already harshly hitting her skin wasn't helping her calm down.
She fanned herself with both of her hands, letting out a long sigh and she closed her eyes for a few seconds just thinking about how long the day would be. Yet, she was so incredibly excited for everything that it would bring.
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Just before her sister could start annoying her all over again, Ella managed to arrive back to where they'd been camping. In a haste, she got properly ready for the day, doing her makeup quickly and packing away her things to throw in the boot of her mom's car before turning back to undo her tent and help organize everything in the car.
It was by noon that everything was secured away in the car, ready to leave once the festival was over. They placed the lanyards with their AAA passes around their necks—Ella hanging the strap of her camera around her neck as well—and walked the way back to where the Monkeys were at.
Surreal was how Ella would describe introducing Lily, Jayne and Lewis to the band, two different sides of her life colliding and her heart was soaring at the sight. The fact that they blended in together nicely and the group was enjoying themselves assured Ella's smile to never leave her face.
They spent a good part of the start of the day drinking and eating by the artist's tents, watching the way that the band's crew went about making sure everything was fine and ready to set up later, chatting and laughing as they got to know each other more.
Ella had been drinking whiskey and coke, taking leisurely sips while she heard Jayne's horror stories as a nurse which the lads had been enjoying so much, they managed to get her to share loads of her worst experiences.
"No, trust me, you don't wanna know how we ended up taking that out." Jayne winced as she recalled, visibly shivering at the memory.
The group groaned in unison, making Ella laugh despite being disgusted herself. She went to take the last of her drink, she barely took a sip before her cup was empty. She turned to Alex to signal that she was gonna get a refill, the singer nodding and actually going with her.
Quite a lot of people were gathered around the place so getting to order took a bit of waiting. A few minutes that Ella took to snap a few pictures. One or two of her surroundings and the last one of Alex, who posed with a hand on his hip and a big smile on his face for her.
Alex watched in adoration as she pushed the lever and then turned off the camera to let it rest against her stomach again, Ella's face was glowing under the sun but it wasn't because of the faint sheet of sweat that was starting to coat her skin thanks to the weather, more because of how incredibly happy she was at that moment.
If he couldn't find it in himself to tell her everything just yet, then he could at least share with her something that he'd been keeping to himself for the past month.
"I've got news." He whispered in her ear after snaking his arm around her waist and pulling her close to him.
"Oh?" She perked up and turned to see him, "What is it? You gonna share with everyone?" She was certainly intrigued by the look on his face, and she was thinking of just getting another drink later so that they could go back to the group and he could tell everyone.
But he surprised her by shaking his head, plainly stating, "Just you for now."
Ella wasn't going to admit the way her heart leapt from her chest at the mysteriousness of it all. She prayed he couldn't hear the loudness of her erratic heartbeat and that it wouldn't show on her face how hard she was trying not to anticipate something that he couldn't give her. Her subconscious hoped for a combination of words that made her want to yell at herself, feeling pathetic when the spark of hope made her stomach flip.
She forced it all aside, trying to act cool as she played with her choice of words, "Oh, right. What have you done, Turner?" She crossed her arms, adding a bit of distance in between them, her brow raising as if challenging him for an answer.
"Got a house in Los Angeles."
He was grinning already as he said that but watching how her jaw dropped at the news had him giving the Cheshire cat some competition.
After a few beats of silence, a very delayed gasp and a loud, "What?!" came from her.
All his big smile would allow for was a soft mumbled "Yeah..." that only awoke a million questions in her mind.
"When? How? Where?" She lets them all spill in a split second, a mush of words confusing enough to make the singer giggle.
Ella watched him, expectant for answers, so much going through her head that she really needed the bartender to hurry up and get to her.
He rested his beer bottle on the top of a table they were standing by, turning it around in its place as he explained, "I didn't go with them that time, to that amusement park. Instead, I got in touch with Matt's estate agent and started working with her and she found me a bunch of options, but I ended up settling down for one a few minutes away from Helders."
"Are you joking?" She had to ask just to make sure, as if there was a possibility of Alex joking about such a thing.
"Why would I be?" He quipped back, brows furrowing for a split second before his grin won over again and made his frown loosen up. His hand was still placed on her waist, rubbing circles on the skin that showed as her shirt had ridden up when she crossed her arms. "They accepted my offer last week and they're finalizing a few things before we sign and we close the sale. So I'm getting the house before the end of the month."
Ella was still frozen in place, though her arms had fallen limp at her sides after the shock of the initial revelation. His relentless, yet delicate touch was the only thing that reminded her that time was still moving forward, so she managed to let out, "You're moving in by the end of the month?" entirely in disbelief.
He was really enjoying this, despite the fact that he was trying hard to decipher all that was going through her, grin unwavering on his lips as he shrugged like it wasn't that big of a deal. "If all goes well."
Like a switch had been flipped, it suddenly clicked inside her mind that it was real, she couldn't help but whisper-shout, "Shut up. Shut up!" before throwing her arms around his neck and mumbling in his ear, "Holy shit Alex!!"
"You happy?" Alex asked, pathetically really. He wanted to kick himself for asking, he was being so fucking transparent but he just couldn't help it.
"Of course I am! I–" She hastily said as she pulled back to see his face, that toothy grin still on his face and it melted her insides, "What the fuck?! Congratulations!"
She enveloped him in a hug again, he clutched her tightly as whispered in her ear, "Thank you darling." A squeak came from her in response, eliciting giggles from him.
"Won't be getting rid of me now." He joked, it seemed lighthearted but god did he know he wouldn't want to leave her side if they were going to be living in the same city.
"I fucking know." Ella replied, and it sounded like relief was wrapped around her words. Alex's heart leapt from his chest when she breathlessly added after she pulled back, "That better be a promise, sweetness."
"It is." He nodded softly, staring right into those gorgeous hazel green eyes of hers. "'Course it is."
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Less than a minute after Ella had finished freaking out about the news Alex had given her, the man behind the bar had taken her order and given her a new drink.
Walking back to where the group was, Ella's head was a tornado of a million thoughts. Her throat was dry and her stomach flipped thinking about how Alex would be just less than an hour away, no oceans in between to keep her away from exploring a place in her heart that she'd been avoiding, all of those threads of thoughts that she'd been shoving aside.
It felt so real then, everything he made her feel, every thought he sparked in her mind just by being. There were no excuses that she could hide herself behind anymore, and she was honestly terrified by the inevitability of it all.
She started feeling nauseous, all because of how every thought would cause her stomach to do somersaults and butterflies swirled every corner inside her. Ella was stiff in her place and struggling to focus and get absorbed back into the conversation, and it didn't go unnoticed by Alex.
With ease, his right hand came to rest on her lower back and delicately he let his touch drag until his fingers clutched onto her waist, leaving goosebumps to break on her skin in his wake. A step to his right so her shoulder brushed against his chest, the proximity now letting him rest his chin on her shoulder and ask in a whisper if she was alright.
She turned her head to the left and was met with his face just a few inches away from hers, their breaths mixing together in between their parted mouths and she could only nod. She turned back around, looking forward in an attempt to focus on the conversation that flowed in the group again. Her throat had gone dry so she took a sip of her drink, and another one, and another one. Until the alcohol in her system and the warmth of Alex's touch made her head light and fuzzy and she relaxed on him, her back falling nicely to rest against his chest.
Alex smiled when he felt her finally relax, unable to hold himself back from leaving a kiss on her temple. His lips pressed on her skin for a good few seconds, inhaling her scent and trying really hard not to close his eyes and stupidly hum in bliss in front of everyone. It would be too obvious, but it wasn't like he wasn't being entirely transparent thus far.
Everyone could see it so clearly and, though the band had gotten used to the pair acting that way, Lily and Jayne were the ones to exchange knowing looks every passing minute when they watched all that Ella and Alex silently did.
Breana had caught onto their looks and when the crew of the band had called them up to give them their in-ears and get them ready for stage, the model walked up to them with a knowing smirk and let them know, "They're always like that." When the two girls raised their brows as if silently asking 'really?', Bre nodded, "I know, they're insufferably oblivious. But just wait for them to get drunk, they get worse."
And that, Lily and Jayne were eager to see. But first, the Monkeys had to go on stage and perform to the sea of people that were cheering for them to come out on stage.
Before they could leave, Ella made everyone get together to take pictures. A few with her own camera but most of them with her phone so it was easier to ask someone from the lads' crew to take a picture of them all.
She smiled when looking at the results, her heart swelling in her chest seeing all the people she adored in one frame.
When she looked up, she caught a glimpse of a tan straw cowboy hat that the guys had been gifted, and getting an idea, she took it with her up to where Alex was standing, in front of a mirror by their trailer brushing his hair back after having put gel in it.
She cleared her throat to get his attention, his smile flashing for her through the mirror before he turned around.
There wasn't even a prompt from her before she placed the hat on his head, not caring about messing up the task of fixing his hair he'd just done.
A chuckle slipped past his lips when she smirked and took two steps backwards, swiftly turning on her camera and bringing it up to her eyes so she could take a picture she knew she'd love.
"How do I look?" Alex asked her while adjusting the hat on his head, giving her a twirl that had her smirking.
"Like you were meant to be a cowboy." She concluded as she perfected the focus of the frame, fighting herself not to bite her bottom lip and make it obvious that she was having the most sinful thoughts about him.
Not that it wasn't obvious to him, the way her eyes darkened and went all over him with a speed that screamed she was trying to enjoy every bit of her view. He smirked back and teased, "Do I?"
Pathetically honest, she nodded, pressing the shutter and rolling the film before walking towards him. She stood flush against his chest, after having moved the camera to her side so it wouldn't come between the proximity she so longed to have with him.
Fixing the collar of his striped shirt which clearly didn't need to be fixed, Ella hummed, "Mhm, just missing a bolo tie and your very own boots." Her hands brushed over the fabric on his shoulders and then smoothed down his chest. Her eyes wandered everywhere as her touch went over him and when she looked down and past that big buckled belt he had on to hold his black jeans in place, she saw his choice of shoes and gulped harshly at how well it all tied together, "Though those chelsea boots you've got on work well."
Alex couldn't bite his tongue any longer, his insides lighting on fire under her attentive gaze and he wanted to get a reaction out of her. So, with a smirk still plastered on his face, he clicked his tongue and played, "Right, stop flirting with me."
In a split second, she blushed hard like he had caught her red handed and there wasn't a way for her to fight against the accusation. Her tongue tangled in itself, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of the water and choking on the words stuck in the back of her throat, before the only recognizable sound was a weak, "I'm not–" that she interrupted to just tell him to "Shut up!" as she playfully shoved him away from her.
"Joking! I'm joking!" He said loudly in between laughter, she didn't want to smile to keep her facade on but there was no way she could force the corners of her lips not to lift when the sound of his giggles reached her ears. Yet, she still hid her bright red face behind her hands so he wouldn't get the pleasure of seeing what his words could do to her.
Taking a few steps to close the distance, one of his arms wrapped around her waist. She tried stepping away but he leaned into her space, keeping her flush against her chest. She felt so warm, she shrieked when he kept her trapped in his hold.
Her body temperature only rose when he dipped down further so that his lips brushed against her ear and he whispered in a sultry tone, "You can flirt with me all you want."
Every sound she could let out after that died in her tongue, her breath hitching in her throat as he dropped a singular peck on the side of her neck before pulling her up with him and leaving her with a squeeze of her waist, taking the hat off his head and putting it on hers.
Stupefied. She was completely stupefied.
She couldn't really dwell on her lack of thought or words though, because the guys were taken to wait by the stairs on the left side of the stage that would bring them right onto the stage in a few minutes. All the while, Ella was snatched away by the girls and Lewis who were being escorted to the other side of the stage where they'd be taken up to the balcony.
When they were settled there, Ella was blown away by the perfect view of the stage and the enormous crowd in front of the stage, all enduring the merciless sting of the sun to sing along to the songs the Monkeys were gonna perform for them. Lily, Jayne and Lewis were just as thrown aback by the scene.
There was no time to really process the moment, that Alex and the guys were headlining the festival she'd always known, that they'd be part of a tradition that very much defined a huge part of her life; because the lads walked into the stage and the roaring cheers of the crowd, filled the group on the balcony with adrenaline that was only heightened when, after Alex greeted the crowd and introduced themselves, the strums of the guitar for the start of 'Do I Wanna Know?' broke through the speakers.
After joining the dots about the song back in May, hearing it ignited a spark that burned her insides. Her chest felt like it was on fire whenever she heard him sing the lines she now knew he'd written with her in mind.
But hearing it live, the bass shaking her bones just as much as each word he sang in that voice of his that made her knees weak, was so much different. It felt like something inside her shifted, an impatience poking at every one of her nerve endings, one that longed for something she had no idea how to start, how to bring up.
She thought it was so obvious what she was thinking about, the hope for it all to move along shining on her face and a dust of pink flush rushing to her cheeks whenever he made eye contact with her throughout the song.
The fact that 'Snap Out Of It' followed as the second song they were performing didn't help either. Knowing explicitly from Alex himself that the song had been written about her made her stomach flip, every rasp of his voice made her want to sink to her knees on the floor. Thinking about Alex being jealous and writing the song about her when she was in another relationship made her bite her bottom lip not to smile like a fool.
Slowly, Ella was getting her hopes up and she didn't know if it was a good thing or not. Would she be brave enough to do something about it? She had no idea and she didn't want to think about it. Focusing back on dancing and singing along with the girls, she willed herself to worry about the what-ifs later.
It seemed like Alex had gone for the kill when he went to introduce the third song, Ella's heart exploded in her chest when he walked up to the microphone and strummed his guitar once before telling the crowd, "Bonnaroo, I gotta tell you about a girl named Arabella!"
He made it seem like his finger pointing to the right side of the stage, where the group was enjoying the gig from, was entirely accidental but Bre, Katie and Kelly squeaked knowing what Alex had really tried to do. After all, they knew the song was about Ella, and Bre made sure to tell Lily, Jayne and Lewis about it with a brief and yelled aloud, "This one is about her!"
Ella's cheeks tinted bright pink when the trio stared at her with their mouths agape. It really was a valuable piece of information that they couldn't believe Ella hadn't shared and Lily knew then that she'd need to properly shower her with a million questions because Ella was hiding more than she'd imagined. She thought her sister had a crush and she was just then witnessing how it seemed reciprocated but the fact that she had a song written about her—such a song as well—genuinely shocked her. There was so much more Lily didn't know of and she hoped Jayne would help her interrogate her sister.
The alcohol in her system helped Ella let loose, dancing with the girls and loudly singing along, her chest puffed out like it filled her with pride that such a good song was one she was the muse for.
She watched as Alex snatched the mic from the stand and walked over the their side, her mouth moved as she sang but her breath hitched in her throat and she stopped being able to follow along when he went down on one knee and pointed at her as he sang, "Baby she's a modern lover, it's an exploration, she's made of outer space."
Jayne gasped beside her, loudly approving with a "Yes, Alex!" that fully flew over Ella's head when she watched Alex stand up and this time turn to the crowd to continue singing, "Her fucking lips are like the galaxy's edge, and her kiss the colour of a constellation falling into place."
She couldn't deny she wasn't loving it, the clear signs only fed her and she just couldn't wait to have him walk off stage so she could throw herself in his arms. Her lips almost tingled with the need to kiss her and right that second she couldn't care less about messing things up or complicated them, she just wanted to kiss him.
After 'Arabella' came 'Brianstorm' and what no one but the band knew, 'Don't Sit Down 'Cause I've Moved Your Chair' was meant to follow. Matt had been the one to put together the setlist so 'Teddy Picker' hadn't been placed anywhere in it, and Alex had only noticed before walking on stage when someone from their crew showed them a copy of the setlist before going up on stage and securing it with tape on the floor.
Alex couldn't play in Ella's hometown, in a festival that meant so much to her, and not perform her favorite song. So he had made sure to tell the lads they were changing the fifth song for 'Teddy Picker'.
Still, just in case they had forgotten, he had taken a second to make sure they all knew it was coming after they finished 'Brianstorm'. Thanks to the loud cheering from the crowd, the group up on the balcony didn't hear Alex loudly saying, "Teddy next, yeah?" to Matt first as he sipped on his beer and then turning to Jamie and Nick mouthing, "Teddy Picker" so that they knew exactly what to do.
The second the first strums of the guitar came through the speakers, Ella screeched at the sign of her favorite starting. She enjoyed every second of it like she hadn't before and when the song was over, she made sure to blow Alex a kiss as a thank you. She swooned internally when he made a ruse of catching it in the air, and pressing it to his heart before blowing a kiss back to her.
So many feelings rushed through her that she felt like she was weightless as she danced. Each line that she sang along to with her friends and sister felt so much more fulfilling in the setting they were in.
Alex took over the stage like it was the place he was meant to be all along, smoothly and entrancing, his voice keeping everyone hypnotized and singing along at the top of their lungs. The crowd swayed like the ocean along the tunes that the band was effortlessly playing, their volume rising when they played 'I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor'.
The crowd slowed down when they started playing 'She's Thunderstorms' and Ella was entirely bewitched by him, his voice ringing in her ears and lulling her every sense. All she could think, see, hear, was him. The beating of her heart grew erratic and her breath caught in her throat when Alex turned to the right side of the stage and looked up at her as he sang, "She's been loop-the-looping around my mind / Her motorcycle boots give me this kind of / Acrobatic blood, concertina / Cheating heartbeat, rapid fire."
When the song died down by its end, Ella was struggling to keep herself together. So when 'No.1 Party Anthem' started, a wave of memories flooded Ella's mind with such force that just let the tears that had gathered in her waterline roll down her cheeks with ease. She was so emotional, sniffling as she sang along while Breana hugged her from behind over her shoulders. All Ella could think about though, was running into Alex's arms and just staying there for the rest of the night.
Thankfully, the next three songs picked her mood up and got her dancing again. Tears were wiped and dried on her cheeks as she danced with the girls, giggling and loudly singing along, enjoying every second left on the band's set.
The second to last song being 'I Wanna Be Yours' pushed her back into an emotional state though. This time around he stole a glance at her as he strummed his guitar by the beginning, when his hand wrapped delicately around the microphone on its stand and he started singing, he kept his eyes closed as if feeling every word in his soul the whole time.
She watched as he lost himself in every line and she selfishly wished he had opened his eyes and looked at her, how she was reciting each word with conviction but it was so much more than repeating the words she knew so well. It was so much more than being a good member of the crowd and proudly singing along with him.
It all was making so much sense to her, and it scared her but she was starting to run out of places to escape from her feelings, denial slipping away from her fingers to protect her.
'R U Mine?' was the last on the setlist and it was mesmerizing to see every time how it brought together the show and it left the crowd with an indescribable high rushing through their bloodstream.
Ella stared intently at every single move Alex would make, her gaze transfixed on the ease in which his fingers moved along the neck of his guitar and the way his hips would move along to the song.
She was almost drooling at the sight of it all and when the song was over and the band bid the crowd farewell, she dashed down the balcony stairs and the ones on the side of the stage to meet the guys again on the grass.
A soft, "Oof" stumbled past Alex's lips when Ella thudded against his back. Her arms wrapping around his shoulder and the fact that she jumped made him automatically hold the backs of her thighs so he held her in a piggy back ride.
"Y'all are amazing!" She exclaimed before leaving a loud wet kiss on the side of the singer's face.
She let herself fall back to stand on the ground, just as he giggled in response to the sudden affection. "You enjoyed that set darling?" He asked with the sweetest smile on his face, eyes a twinkling brown honey under the bright sun that captured her every sense.
Ella hummed with an eager nod of her head, coming to stand beside him, "Loved it. T'was so good!" She assured before wrapping her arms around his waist, humming in content as his left arm wrapped around her frame tightly and kept her flush against him.
He cooed under his breath and leaned into her to drop a kiss on her temple, mumbling a sweet, "So glad you did, darling." against her skin.
When the group caught up to them, Breana teased Ella for running away instead of waiting for them and after she rolled her eyes and stuck her tongue out to her, the compliments for the band rained around.
They all eventually agreed to go back to the artist area to get some drinks and then go out to listen to some good music around the different stages. But, even though they were moving hastily around the place to enjoy the last few hours of the festival, Ella and Alex never let the other go.
They were either holding hands or their arms would be wrapped around each other's waists, laughing in each other's ears or whispering around like high schoolers keeping secrets. But the unwavering touches were as if they tried to tell the other that they wouldn't go, they were planning on staying right there and the smiles which never left their faces were enough proof to know that was exactly how they wanted to stay.
Progressively, the pair got tipsy and it was then that Lily and Jayne realized that Breana hadn't been lying about them getting worse when alcohol was in their system. To anyone, it would look as if they were a couple and it was really confusing that they were nothing near it officially when they would act the way they did with each other.
Jayne was about to snatch Ella away to talk with her when she saw how Alex leaned into her and Ella let him close the distance between them, only their lips never met—their noses touched and they beamed at each other in a nauseatingly sweet show of affection that got even cuter when they mumbled 'love you' to each other before turning back around to focus on the conversation happening in front of them.
However, Lily kept the nurse in her place when she watched Ella make herself comfortable and hum in joy in Alex's arms, as he held her with his arms around her middle, her back pressed to his chest and his chin on her shoulder so he could always be inhaling her scent and kissing the skin that was available to him.
It wasn't time for any interrogations, Lily knew that. She and Jayne would have to wait to get answers later, even though the curiosity surely was eating them both alive.
They went around for a few hours before settling in the right side of the back of the crowd in front of the main stage, where Elton John would be performing soon so they figured settling down there and waiting would be a good idea.
A pretty good idea when Ella had a few joints to share with everyone as they sat on the grass to wait for the headline show.
With the alcohol already coursing through her veins, the weed made her relax a greater amount than she already was, melting into Alex's chest felt heavenly. His touch made her feverishly hot and she kept giggling and sighing over how good it felt. The tickling of his lingering touches on her waist, her thighs, her arms, her neck and shoulders, made her smile so big that her eyes kept closing.
Her eyes fluttered closed once more after taking one last hit of the third and last spliff that had gone around but despite her languid state, her brain remained awake and reeling with the images of that very day which seemed to be slipping through her fingers so fast and inevitably like water.
The flashing of the memories she had been making so far kept her grinning loopily in Alex's hold and, though everyone thought she looked silly and it was certainly amusing to see her fall asleep with such an expression, Alex's heart melted when he looked down and saw her so happy even in her slumber.
It really felt like she could easily sleep forever in Alex's arms, and when she thought of that, everything that her mind could focus on was the singer.
Alex felt Ella squirm a bit before relaxing back down, he couldn't hold back from dropping a kiss on the side of her face when she did that. He was pretty sure the corners of her lips twitched in a bigger smile at that for a split second before it relaxed to her loopy grin again once she sighed.
Her stomach fluttered with a million butterflies, her blood rushed through her veins with an increasing temperature that warmed every inch of her skin, every single one of her nerve endings tingled from his touch, her lips itched with the need to kiss him.
She really wanted to kiss him. But after hearing his news earlier that day, she knew that if she did she couldn't ignore that feeling she knew so well that kept growing inside her each day. She knew what it was and how long it had been since she had last felt it. And it was like it had come back so much stronger since it was snatched away from her the last time, ripped right off her chest along with her heart.
It scared her, it really did. Because the realization became clearer by the second and with it the ghosts that haunted her. But the notion was so loud and bright that the hope of it all ending up being okay, the hope of finally having a happy ending pushed close that door where her fears hid behind, slammed it close with a certainty that she felt foolish to have.
But the hopeful sparks shined brighter when she would make a joke and he'd pull her close so he could giggle against her skin. When he smoked and kept their fingers intertwined, fiddling with hers and her rings as he exhaled the smoke upwards. When he kept his touch anywhere on her body as they chatted about random shit, unwavering and burning her like he was branding her and she didn't want it any other way. When his eyes would never leave hers and knew exactly what she wanted without her uttering a word, he had gotten her a new drink or gone with her to get something to eat before she could even excuse herself to go on her own. When he posed for her every time she brought her camera up to her eyes, and when he would take it from her to take pictures of her, which he didn't have to beg for anymore as it was easier for her to let herself be captured by his vision.
And the ease in which it came to her this time was the thing that scared her to a certain extent. Because back at the start, she knew she didn't feel this strongly and yet she let herself go with the tide and eventually she'd drowned.
This time the waves crashed with force against the shore and it was scary and dangerous, but she wanted to take a dip in that treacherous ocean and let herself be swallowed by the waves because she'd waited so long and she had a growing faith that the tide would mellow down until she could just stay afloat in content forever. Warm water that would envelope her like an embrace that she would never want to leave, never want to lose.
It was loud and quiet, it echoed inside her and rumbled through her chest but also buzzed softly in the back of her mind like a reminder, like a faint memory that made her smile.
Alex. It was Alex and it was so clear. She loved him, she really did and it was inevitable. It was a long time coming and the realization was there and it was undeniable. It all had let up to this moment and it shook her ground but it was soft like an earthquake that you can find yourself waking up to but not scrambling for safety, because it felt as if she had always known. As if it had always been there but she'd finally recognized the shadow that hid away in the back of her mind, her heart, her soul.
Ella had no idea how much time had gone by, if five minutes of twenty, but her eyes peeled open and her ears suddenly caught up with the chatter going on around her. She sat up straighter and continued blinking away the remains of her sleepy haze, Alex looked down with a stupid grin on his face as she came back to reality.
"Good morning sunshine." He mumbled playfully, very much aware of the fact that the purple and pink hues of the sunset were enveloping them all.
Her smile grew at the sound of his voice and the sight of the beautiful colors that the sky was painted. She threw her head back to rest on his shoulder and smiled up at him, "Hi. Did I sleep too long?"
He shook his head softly, "Not even ten minutes."
She hummed, a bit confused after losing grasp on time but she attributed it to him, "You're comfy."
A chuckle made his chest shake, "Good." He leaned in until his lips pressed on her cheek and he left a soft long kiss there, his hot exhale making her close her eyes and hum in content.
She loved him. She really fucking did. And those three words burned on her tongue but she swallowed them, wanting to savor the feeling for a bit before she could think about how and when to tell him.
And savor it she did. Every touch, every kiss, every time they sang to each other once Elton John walked on stage, every time he twirled her around only to pull her in until she crashed against his chest and he could keep her there.
When the encore started though, 'Your Song' was the one to send Ella into tears. Alex stood behind her when the legendary singer had walked back on stage, his arms over her shoulders and hands clasping over her chest. She was holding his wrists in place, rubbing circles on his skin which stopped when the notes of the piano hinted to a song Ella knew quite well and overwhelmed her after the conclusion she'd come to earlier.
Alex felt her shake in his hold so he dipped his face until he could hide in the crook of her neck. It was then that he felt her wet cheeks and heard her sniffles, he pouted and left a kiss on the side of her neck before whispering in her ear, "You alright darling? Don't cry."
Her head shook as she sniffled once more before she turned her face slightly and said loud enough for only him to hear, "Happy tears, I promise."
And they actually were. She was so beyond happy to have him there, home, with her and enjoying a bit of her that meant so much. She felt relieved to finally admit to herself just how intensely she felt for him, a weight lifting off her shoulders now that her fears became smaller and smaller when he was so damn sweet to her, when he was just him in all his glory.
But hearing that song at that very moment felt like a sign, one that held so much force that just pushed her to tears. If Ella had Alex's way with words, she was sure she could write endless ballads about everything he made her feel, a million poems about everything she would give him. Alas, she didn't and she had no idea how to make it justice. But that song made it seem so simple and it moved her deeply.
Is it really that simple? she thought, or is it too good to be true?
All she wanted to do was turn around and beg him to listen to every word and swear on everything that existed that she felt like that about him, that she loved him madly and that it had taken a while to get there but she had and she didn't know how much longer she could hold it—beg on her knees for him to feel the same if that's what it took.
"Don't be upset. I'm right here." Alex whispered back, snapping her out of her thoughts. His hand cupped her cheek and turned her face delicately to the side so he could wipe her tears, kissing her cheek when he was done.
"Yeah." She mumbled as she nodded, closing her eyes and resting her head on his shoulder. "Don't go." She pleaded pathetically. It was stupid because she could just say it but a shiver ran down her spine at the sudden feeling of fear, the one that had held her back for so long.
Coward.
Alex dropped a kiss atop of her head and promised, "I won't."
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Suddenly, the fireworks had come alive and the last song of the night was over. Once Elton John had walked out of the stage, the screens turned into a written goodbye and a promise to see everyone next year.
As every year, it was hard to say goodbye. Those four days felt like they'd gone in a flash and it felt unfair every time since this was Ella's excuse to come home religiously, to steal her sister and her best friend away from responsibilities.
There was a cloud of sadness that hung in the air as they all walked back to the band's tour bus. The silver lining was that the guys were staying another day in town, though they hadn't planned anything explicitly with Ella. Ella had planned the day for them already though, and was just waiting to tell them.
It was when they got back to the large bus that the Monkeys offered to take Ella, Lily, Jayne and Lewis home. Ella declined politely since they had her mom's car there to go back home, but she told them then that her parents were expecting them all to come to their home to join them for a barbecue the next day. The director cheekily added that she had more plans for the night but she'd keep the surprise the longest she could.
The guys were wary of the invitation, due to the fact that they just couldn't leave the bus anywhere since they had to leave early on Tuesday and the fact that there were so many of them and they didn't wanna become a burden to Ella's family.
Ella saw right through them and waved their worries away, "Guys, we have a huge farm house. There's like eight rooms in total and an extension out back so your bus driver can sleep comfortably. Plus my parents have a huge fucking field so the bus won't be an issue to park by the house."
Still, they were wavering on accepting the offer, but when Lily interrupted with, "Ella will be insufferable if you don't accept and our parents have been excited to meet y'all for a while now, they'd be sad if y'all don't come along."
They made the sisters promise twice that it wouldn't be an issue to have them over and the two times they wholeheartedly swore on it. And that was how the group ended up following Ella out of the festival grounds, back to her childhood home.
Just like Ella had promised, there was plenty of space beside the huge farm house for the tour bus to fit in. It could've fitted in the driveway easily if the bus driver hadn't been worried of blocking one of the garage doors.
Unfortunately, Jayne and Lewis had to leave right then since they had to work in the morning. So everyone bid the farewell before they could come into the house, Ella making her promise to call her as soon as she got back home, which thankfully only was thirty minutes away.
After they watched Lewis and Jayne driving away, everyone got their stuff out of the bus and they soon were ready to follow Ella and Lily down the cobblestone path and into the house.
The group whistled in awe when they walked through the big wooden doors, which certainly matched the grandiosity of the house. Before Ella could show them around and help them settle into the spare rooms though, she guided the bus driver out the back and showed him the extra two rooms and bathroom that was the extension.
When the director came back, after welcoming the driver to feel at home and let any of them know if he needed anything with a knock on the sliding doors on the back of the house, Lily had already said goodnight and excused herself to go to her room.
"Okay, let me show you where you're sleeping and where the bathrooms are before I collapse." Ella joked as she waved them to follow her but she wasn't entirely playing around since her eyes were starting to close against her will.
She still showed them around with a massive grin on her face, seeing the couples starting to occupy the rooms of her home made her incredibly giddy. So when she eventually got to her room, after wishing everyone sweet dreams and hugging them tightly, she sighed loudly in content before hopping in the shower. Her smile stayed on her face as she fell asleep, feeling warm and fuzzy just thinking about what the following day would be like.
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"Hi guys! Nice to meet you!" A voice they hadn't heard before greeted them as they walked out to the yard, where a long picnic table waited for them with a big array of food that was so American, it made the group smile. Before they could greet the woman back, she introduced herself, "I'm Grace and this is Parker. We're Ella and Lily's parents."
The group went around giving them hugs and properly greeting the couple, and once they did, Grace pointed at the benches waiting to be occupied for the feast to start, "Get yourselves settled, we made breakfast for everyone!"
There was pancakes, bacon, scrambled eggs, cornbread, pulled pork in hawaiian dinner rolls, sausages, toast, hash browns, orange juice, coffee and creamer. It looked like an army was meant to eat there, not the band and the Hayes family.
"Thank you, Mrs. Hayes." Alex smiled sweetly at the fifty year old woman who was expectantly waiting for each of them to fill the plates she'd arranged in each of their seats.
She scoffed playfully, "Oh please hun, Grace is fine. Don't make me feel older than I already am."
Alex chuckled in response, "Then thank you Grace, this looks delicious."
Before Grace could thank him for the compliment on her cooking, Ella and Lily walked out of the house and greeted everyone.
"Rude of y'all to make us wait." Parker taunted his daughters with a playful smile on his face to which her daughters sighed in response.
"Sorry guys." Ella said, and when her eyes landed on the food that was laid out for everyone, her jaw fell in surprise, "Fucking hell mom! Are you feeding the whole town?!"
Grace was about to scorn her for swearing, when Ella stopped in her tracks as she was about to sit beside Alex for she noticed the bus driver was missing at the table. "Hold up, I'm gonna go wake their driver up so he can eat something."
She dashed towards the extension out back and they watched as she knocked multiple times until the man appeared on the door. They couldn't hear the conversation but the man nodded and closed the door again so Ella turned on her heels and made her way back to the table.
Snatching a piece of cornbread from one of the trays, she finally took her seat next to Alex and before taking a bite of her food, she informed, "He's coming in five minutes."
Alex watched as Ella's dad smiled and walked up to her, pressing a kiss on her head and mumbling, "That's my sweet little girl." before he went to join his wife across the table.
The childish gleam of pride on Ella's face made Alex want to audibly coo. He knew there was so much more about her that he had yet to discover and this glimpse into her when she was surrounded by family and at her home was making him fall in love all over.
His heart had kick started when she had come into his view just a few minutes before, seeing her face still a bit puffy from sleep, dressed in some jean shorts and a blue shirt that read 'What would Dolly do?' which made him swallow a giggle. She was wearing some worn out brown cowboy boots that tied her look together and she just made so much more sense in this context. She glowed in a new light at home and it made him fall head over heels all over again.
Alex wrapped his arm around her waist, trying to keep each other close as if their thighs weren't already brushing together. Ella offered him a tight lip smile, her mouth full of delicious cornbread, and she let her head rest on his shoulder for a few seconds before she could get herself food on her plate.
It was once the guys' bus driver walked out, greeted everyone and sat at the end of the table, that everyone started to actually eat.
Grace and Parker asked about loads of things, starting with the band and the tour and how it had gone in the festival, to then asking about how they were finding their little town, if they had any favorite places in America and how it was different to touring around Europe and the UK.
The lads were very witty and made the conversation flow so easily that it felt less of an interrogation and more of a story sharing hour. Which, of course, had somehow ended in the retelling of how the band met Ella and how it had been working with her throughout the years.
Coming to the realization that it had been well over three years since they all met made the nostalgic, and soon enough they remembered that the latest music video they had recorded would be coming out later in the day so they'd get the chance to gather in front of the TV in the living room and see the final product.
Once everyone was satisfied with their very varied breakfast, they all got up from the table and started helping clean up. There had been some leftovers and those were carefully picked up and put away, as the rest of the group gathered the dirty dishes and utensils and brought them to the kitchen so they could be rinsed and put into the dishwasher.
Everything was taken care of after twenty minutes, so the group was good to go back to resting in their rooms if they wanted to—that was what the bus driver had done after wholeheartedly thanking Ella's parents for the meal—but before they could go, Grace had an idea.
As she finished drying the last few glasses they had used, Grace suggested, "Eleanor, honey, why don't y'all go down to the stable to see the horses? God knows Birdie misses you."
At the mention of her horse, Ella lit up and exclaimed, "Oh yeah!" Her eyes went wide and she turned quickly on her heels to go back outside, "Let's go y'all. I need to show you my baby."
The group had to pick up their pace to catch up with Ella, she was practically dashing through the slightly grown out grass on the way to the stable which was to the far right side of the huge backyard—it was more like an acre of land than a back garden, but if they had horses then it made sense to have such a big space.
Ella got to the gates of the stable quicker than them and she swiftly opened one of them ajar right when the group got there. They still had her walk in first to guide them in, and they saw how she inhaled deeply and smiled brightly when taking in the place. She'd grown up in that stable, playing with hay and learning how to care for the horses, sneaking away with her first girlfriend and getting in trouble when she would go out for a ride in the middle of the night.
So many good memories and the prospect of making some more with her best friends at that moment was making her all soft and gooey inside.
"Fucking hell. Yous breed horses?" Matt let out in surprise when he saw the seven horses inside the place, all huffing excitedly at the sight of visitors.
Ella turned to see him and shook her head, "Not really. We used to have a horse each but then my mom's horse passed and we tried to fill the void with two more and with them these two crazy boys came along." She pointed at two beautiful black horses on the left side of the aisle—the memory of helping her parents deliver the two horses would be one to stay with her forever. When Bee had given birth to Stephen, she had been absolutely terrified but almost two years later, when Bee gave birth to Blaze, she'd felt so much more prepared that it became a moment of pride rather than trauma.
She walked further until she got to the most excited horse of all, a brown one with spots all over its back and hips, and luscious black hair. "This is Birdie, he's my best boy." Ella said proudly before holding her horse's muzzle, pouting and cooing when he leaned into her touch, "Hi bubba!" The group watched as the horse started nickering and Ella gave him her attention entirely and nodded along like she understood, "I know, I know bub. Oh I missed you so much!"
When Ella realized everyone had stayed on the side watching, she waved them over, "Come on, don't be shy. He's a lover." Bre got to him and patted its muzzle and its forehead and Ella chuckled seeing how much Birdie was enjoying the attention. She shook her head and scoffed, he really was a big baby, "And he fucking loves attention so please pet him, he'll behave even better when he sees y'all wanting to show him some love." He hadn't changed one bit and she knew that had to be with her parents spoiling him to help him cope with Ella not being home and missing her.
Bre cooed at him, loving how he reacted to them and becoming speechless at the beauty of his coat, "He's beautiful. Can we go for a ride Ella?" The model had grown up going to the countryside with her parents and riding horses was her favorite thing as a kid so she really had to ask.
"Of course." Ella agreed easily, but she had to make sure first before she decided which horse she would give her best friend, "You do remember how to ride, right Bre?"
Before the model could answer though, her fiance took the chance to joke, "She sure does."
"Shut up Matthew." Ella scolded him, half smiling because he was such a little shit.
Bre snorted and rolled her eyes before thinking about it, she looked around the horses and ended up saying, "I do, but give me a calm one please. Haven't ridden in a while."
Ella hummed, looking around and when she saw the thoroughbred that belonged to her mum, she smiled, "Honeybee for Bre it is then."
"Awh I wanna ride too!" Katie pouted before Ella could get a singular saddle for Bre. When Ella turned to her and beamed, Katie gnawed on her bottom lip shyly before admitting, "Don't know how though."
"S'okay, I'll teach you." Ella waved her off. She was growing excited because she loved teaching people how to ride horses. Knowing it'd be easier to take her own horse since he would definitely listen to her, Ella offered, "Wanna take Birdie? He'll behave I promise."
Maybe Katie should've given it more of a thought but she didn't hesitate to nod eagerly and reply with a chirpy, "Sure!"
Ella smiled, but then a thought crossed her mind and she suggested to do one thing before taking Bre and Katie out, "First, let me take Birdie for a quick spin and I'll come back when he's calmed down. If you go on him now he'll get the zoomies and that won't be good." She winced thinking about the time she was fifteen and she'd gone on a camping trip with her cousins and their friends and come back after a long week, and when she'd gotten on Birdie, he was being so aggressive he threw her off and she dislocated her shoulder.
Yeah, she needed to take him for a quick loop before giving him to Katie.
"When I'm back, I'll get it all ready for you too." She promised Breana and Katie with a soft smile, "You guys can follow me on the golf carts if you want. There's a gorgeous lake a few miles down the field." They had a pair of beaten up golf carts that her parents used to get around the property easily, and she was sure the keys were in each of them, ready to be used.
With an impressive ease, Ella took Birdie out of his stall—and after softly calming him down as he started neighing and thrashing around from excitement—she saddled him up. She explained what she was doing as she went, and showed them how to mount twice so that Katie and Bre, and whoever else wanted to ride later knew what to do.
Once on Birdie, she had him slowly walk out of the stable—Jamie was a gooden and opened the second door so they could comfortably walk out and then closed the doors behind him—and showed them the golf carts on the back of the stable.
Alex, Katie and Jamie got in one of the carts while Nick, Kelly, Matt and Breana got in the other one. When they turned on the carts, Ella instructed them to follow her and she jetted off in a split second.
They all heard her loud laughter in the air as they followed, the exhilarating feeling of the wind blowing her hair as she picked up speed on her horse made giggles fall from her uncontrollably. Behind her, the group followed and they gasped so many times when Birdie would gallop higher and faster and it felt like Ella would be flung off its back on many occasions.
It took them a few minutes to get to the lake, but still Birdie wanted to run some more so Ella told them to stay by the body of water while she tired him out. That took about five more minutes. The horse didn't want to stray too far from the group—attention whore, Ella thought with amusement—and when he let Ella walk him back beside the group, the director praised him for being good.
A wide eyed Kelly was the first to speak when she was beside them, "Jesus Christ, Ella. I thought he was gonna throw you off so many times then."
"I know, me too." Ella chuckled, the adrenaline that rushed through her veins made her want to laugh. She was so happy as she explained, "He gets too excited when I'm back home. Don't you, boy?" Leaning in, she patted his shoulder and brushed his mane lovingly, "He's fine now though." She could feel his chest expanding continuously as he tried to calm his breathing down, just like her chest was heaving from the remains of the thrill of the ride.
Behind their pregnant friend, Bre leaned in so Ella could hear her whistle in awe, just before she complimented, "You sure can fucking ride, babe."
That made Ella cackle loudly, the words making her fill with pride so she smiled at her, all smug and said, "Cowgirl through and through, my love. I've been telling you." The wink she sent Ella made Alex clench his jaw. It was beyond him how she could be so hot doing the most mundane things. He'd been watching her with his mouth agape, really having to focus on driving the cart that whole time from how he couldn't keep his eyes off her.
She looked stunning as she dismounted the horse, landing with a thud on the floor, her cowboy boots digging on the mud. "It's a bit muddy over here, but it's so beautiful." She grabbed onto Birdie's reins, to have him walk with her up to the lake, and waved everyone over behind her.
The lads put the golf carts on park and left them where they'd stopped to follow Ella, Nick and Alex holding each of Kelly's arms to make sure she wouldn't slip.
Birdie was a menace so he actually huffed and puffed for Ella to take him into the water, the cowgirl rolled her eyes and told him he could go but reminding him to listen when it was time to go, as if he was a child that could understand her mom's wishes.
The water was warm under the sun, but it was refreshing to splash over their exposed skin. Matt had audibly regretted not bringing his camera along with him for the scenery was stunning, and Katie had asked Ella if she used to spend lots of time there as a kid.
"Oh yes. Loads." Ella nodded, nostalgia flashing through her features. "Used to sneak out of the house and mess around with my friends."
"Skinny dipping?" Kelly smirked, getting flashbacks to the photoshoot they'd had when Ella was over in London.
Ella smirked back, "Oh yeah, amongst other things."
The group laughed, Bre coming to shove her playfully and Ella tripped slightly. Alex was sweating looking around the place and just thinking about the things Ella could get up to, seeing this side of her and finding those little details of her had his mind dizzy.
There was one thing he could easily pinpoint though. He was falling for her even more, and the raw, animalistic hunger and need he felt for her was growing. The hot weather was only making him sweat and feel uncomfortably flustered.
A few minutes later, after a few stories from Ella about spending summers splashing around and getting drunk with her friends there, they all went back to the stable.
Ella got Honeybee ready for Breana, helping her mount the horse and then she helped Katie get on Birdie. She held the reins as she walked both the horses out of the stable and soon enough, she had them galloping around. Birdie was tired from Ella taking him earlier so he went way easier on Katie than she had Ella, and Bee was a sweetheart as per usual, being gentle with Bre and allowing the model to guide her on the pace she wanted to take.
The girls got the hang of it after a bit over ten minutes and then Ella let them go a bit faster on their own. It made Ella so happy to see the smiles on Katie and Bre's faces as they went around the field and she clapped and complimented them when they got to stop the horses effortlessly.
Ella helped them dismount and they walked the horses back to the stable. The girls helped get the saddle off them and put them back in their stalls, filling up buckets with water for the horses to have after their activities.
The cowgirl asked if anyone else wanted to go for a ride but when they all stayed quiet, pressing their lips together, she had to carefully look at each of them to make sure.
When her gaze landed on the drummer, she saw a hint of curiosity on his face so she scooped out a positive reply from him by softly asking, "Matt, you wanna take Stephen out for a loop?"
He hesitated but eventually nodded, "Ermm, sure."
"Perfect. Anyone else?" Her eyes went around the group again, until they landed on her other best friend who had been averting his gaze very obviously as if that would get Ella to not ask him. "Alex, you?" She pressed softly, not wanting to push too much from the get go.
"I don't know." He frowned warily. After seeing how Birdie had been with Ella, he was very hesitant.
"Oh come on, sweets!" Ella pouted, walking up to him with her best puppy eyes and stopping right in front of him to try and convince him. Her arms snaked around his waist and she made a show of batting her lashes, looking up at him with pleading eyes, "You can't come over and meet my horses and not wanna go for a ride. Come onnn, pleaseeeeee."
She had it so easy, she could have him do anything and everything with a snap of her fingers. It made him smile, knowing just how clearly she had him wrapped around her little finger, the love she felt for her making his chest swell.
Still, he tried to play it off as if it was a burden for him to accept, letting out an exaggerated sigh that made her narrow her eyes at him and concluding, "Alright, I'll do it. But not Birdie."
"Okay not Birdie." She rolled her eyes, a smirk on her face as she stood up straight and coming to a better alternative for him, she exclaimed, "I'm gonna get Duke, he's gentle."
Duke was the eldest one, her dad's horse that he'd gotten before he married Ella's mom, and he had grown soft and playful with age. After Luna, Ella's mom horse who had been his mate for the longest time, died he had dulled down and his thirst for speeding around the field and dashing through the mountains had almost left him entirely.
Ella's dad took Blaze when he wanted to dash around but when he just wanted to take a leisure walk, Duke was still his boy.
So Ella sweetly greeted Duke first, taking him out of his stall and getting him ready for Alex. She let the singer walk the horse outside, promising he would behave and he would wait patiently there for her to get Stephen ready for Matt.
The smile on Ella's face was impossibly big when they walked out and Alex was there carefully stroking Duke's muzzle. Her heart melted in her chest and she would have cried if she allowed herself to. The sight of that did something to her, a shift inside her that only accentuated the overwhelming love she now could easily point out that she had for him.
Holding back her emotions, she nodded to Alex to follow her behind the stable again so that he and Matt could get on the horses and go for a ride.
It had been hilarious and equally frustrating to get Matt to mount Stephen, when Ella finally managed to help him up on the horse she'd felt accomplished. But the feeling didn't last long for he instantly started complaining again.
"Owh fuck, my fucking balls." Matt exclaimed in pain as Stephen started walking rhythmically.
"Helders stop being so stiff." Ella called him out with a disapproving shake of her head. "Relax!"
The drummer snapped back with a hiss, "This fucking hurts, Eleanor."
"Too bad." She mocked, "Go on, Stephen is great."
Matt sighed and bit his tongue so as not to complain when Ella clicked her tongue and the horse started picking up his pace. But he couldn't keep quiet for long, not when panic started sizzling in his belly as the speed had increased, "That's too fast, no?"
Ella chortled along with the rest of the group, "Absolutely not. You're going way too slow." Bre was recording beside her and Ella was so glad she'd thought of that because this was being so entertaining so far. Before she could get lost in wanting to laugh at him rather than being a good host and instructor, Ella actually gave him advice to help, "He can feel you being uncomfortable, settle down and relax."
Stephen was going in loops after all so if anything happened, Matt knew Ella would know what to do so he kept reminding himself of that until he relaxed and actually started enjoying the ride.
"There we go." Ella praised with a sweet smile, "You can go a bit faster right?"
"No." Matt shook his head straight away.
"Yes you can." Ella sighed out a laugh. She couldn't believe Matt was that scared of riding a horse. So with another click of her tongue, the beautiful horse picked up its pace a bit more, "Yes Stephen, good boy."
When she praised the horse for following along the wordless instruction though, she noticed Matt's terrified expression so she spared him the stress and told him, "When you wanna stop, just gently pull the reins."
She didn't have to tell him twice because Matt softly pulled on them at the same time as he mumbled, "Ah-ah. Stop Stephen." and the horse slowed down until it stopped just in front of the group.
"See? He's such a good boy." Ella played when the drummer looked down at them all, his eyes still wide.
They heard him muttering profanities under his breath as he got down clumsily, tripping when he landed on the ground.
Without giving Matt more attention, Ella got Stephen and walked him back to the stable. She took a few minutes taking the reins and saddle off him, getting him some water before she walked out again.
She went straight to where Alex stood, holding Duke by its reins, and placing a hand softly on his shoulder, she instructed, "Your turn, sweets."
Alex nodded, his hands starting to get clammy from the nerves. She could see it on his face so she walked up to him, placing her hand on top of his hand which was holding the reins. "Want me to help you get on him?" She sweetly suggested, knowing it would ease him if she was there with him.
"Please." he mumbled, brows furrowing slightly.
Her expression softened and she had to fight not to pout, instead offering him a cute smile to soothe his nerves, "'Course."
Offering one of her hands as leverage, he mounted Duke. He struggled a bit finding his balance on one foot before he could swing his leg over to the other side of Duke's back but he did great and Ella didn't fail to praise his good job.
"Just relax and when I click my tongue he'll go, okay? Don't be scared." She said just for him to hear, she was on the other side of the horse anyway so the group couldn't hear.
Ella waited for Alex to nod and she walked around the horse to stand beside Bre again. Once there, she offered Alex another smile before she said, "Go on, Duke." followed by a click of her tongue that made the horse start walking around.
Unlike Matt, Alex's posture was great, his back straight but not stiff and his shoulders relaxed in good posture. She still made sure to ask, "How's that? Comfortable?"
"Yeah." Alex nodded in confirmation.
Matt chuckled in mock, "He's shitting bricks."
But before Ella could bite back, Nick scoffed and corrected, "He's doing better than you, dickhead."
"Piss off." The drummer quipped back in a mumble.
And it made Ella snort when Nick shrugged and added, "Just saying."
"Just let him go a bit faster, yeah?" Ella pointed when Duke came back after taking Alex with him a mile down the field.
"Okay." He loosened the reins a bit and tugged on them briefly and when the horse started going faster, he muttered, "Oh shit."
"You're fine!" Ella assured, Duke would slow down eventually, he couldn't keep up his speed for long so this was just him wanting to play around for a few minutes.
Watching as Alex kept his posture and continued riding, Ella praised once more, "That's a good job!" Of course, praising the horse as well, "Go on Duke, nice boy." She wouldn't deny that the scene was tugging at her heart strings, it was a mix of happiness and a sense of future nostalgia for the memory in the making.
"You know what to do to get him to stop?" Ella asked just to make sure when Alex and Duke rode past the group.
Alex nodded again, "Yes!"
"Okay, on your own time now, sweets. You got this." She encouraged.
Alex copied the way in which she'd slowed Birdie down and how Matt had managed to do with Stephen, he pulled on the reins softly calling out for Duke to stop and he did. Duke slowed down about a hundred feet away from the group and allowed for Alex to guide him back to them all with ease.
"Nicely done." Ella smiled brightly, filled with pride. "That was great! You did great, sweetness!"
Alex couldn't stop his cheeks from blushing, a loopy smile on his face as his chest puffed out with pride, "Thank you darling." He wondered if he could ask to go once more just to hear her sweet words again and again and again. His knees buckled at the thought of her praising him, that sweet voice of hers drowning his ears.
He was down so bad for her. How embarrassing, he thought at first, but then he wanted to laugh because he really wouldn't wish to have it any other way.
✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧
After putting Duke back in his stall, giving him water and going around the stable once more, they all went back to the house.
Just by the sliding doors in the back of it, they found Ella's dad at the grill, flipping some burgers and cuts of meat with a speaker next to him blasting some old tune that Ella was trying to recognize.
The smell of the barbecue and his dad wearing that apron she made back when she was in kindergarten, made him think back to her teenage years when she'd have her friends over and they'd drive to the lake and come back to some yummy food and her dad's favorite music interrupting the sounds of nature.
Then it suddenly clicked. "Is that The Guess Who, dad?" Ella asked, pretty damn sure that was 'Undun' by the 70s Canadian band.
Her dad hummed proudly, after all he'd been the one to basically pass down his music taste to her. "Yes honey. Could you turn it up a bit?" Parker asked, pointing at his phone over by the picnic table with his spatula.
"Sure." Ella quickly went to get the device and turned the volume up a few notches until her dad sang and it got lost under the loud song. "Does mom need help with anything? Do you need anything?" She asked her dad before they could get comfortable on the seats. There were plates and cutlery organized around the table already, and aluminum trays in the middle of the table waiting to be filled with what was on the grill.
He thought about it for a few seconds before he shrugged, "M'not sure lovie. I'm alright but go check on her please."
Ella nodded and turned to her friends, "Guys, sit down. I'll be back."
Before she could leave on her own, Alex quickly called out, "I'll go with ya'" that made her smile and nod for him to follow her.
She opened the sliding door and closed it once Alex walked in beside her—right before the door was fully closed, they heard 'One of These Nights' by the Eagles came on. There was a stark difference between the heat outside and the nice chill in which the house had been kept thanks to the AC and it made Ella shiver.
Her skin breaking on goosebumps and a chill running down her spine made her almost miss the way Alex smirked and said, "Now that makes sense."
"What?" She asked confused as she started walking on the way to the kitchen.
She knew the cause of his smirk when he said, "That 70s head of yours."
Her cheeks turned bright red and her stomach flipped. This was the first time he'd ever acknowledged any of her connection to 'Arabella' directly to her so her voice wavered when she let out a high pitched, "Stop it." at the same time as she weakly shoved him.
The laugh she got from that made her breath hitch in her throat and she almost tripped because her legs wobbled at the sound. A giggle escaped her involuntarily and she felt like such a pathetic fool but it made her feel warm and nice that it was him who made her feel that way. Only him.
Ella was stuck in a stupid-in-love haze when she and Alex finally got to the kitchen, there Lily was already helping her mom out with finishing up the salad she was making so all Ella and Alex got to help with was taking the drinks and the ice bucket out to the table.
A few minutes later, Ella's mom and Lily walked outside with the big bowl of salad, setting it down carefully on the only empty space on the table which was by the edge of it.
Compliments over the delicious look of the food rained around and Ella's dad joked about everyone not having seen his culinary skills yet as he was still waiting for everything to properly cook on the grill.
But before Ella could get up and have the bus driver come over to have lunch with them, her phone pinged with a notification from Ben.
(17/06/2014 16:39) Hi Ellie, how was the festival? Hope you had fun and that the guys enjoyed Tennessee as well! Snap music video came out almost an hour ago, did you get a chance to watch it? Think it turned out brilliant, we make a good team :))) Anyway, enjoy your day! See you Thursday!!
Ella gasped at the sudden reminder, making Alex jump in his seat beside her and everyone else turn to her with wide eyes.
"Sorry." The director apologized, "Ben just reminded me that the Snap music video came out and I think we should go watch it now before eating."
Grace saw the hesitation in everyone's faces and she smiled softly before encouraging them to go, "Food is not ready yet, go and watch it and then we'll eat."
When Ella's dad agreed on it, they all scrambled inside the house and Ella had to yell out for Lily to bring her laptop downstairs so she could connect the HDMI cable to it and watch it on a bigger screen.
It took about five minutes to finally have everything set and the second they were all comfortable in the couches around the room, Ella pressed play and rushed to her seat in between Alex and Katie.
For the next four minutes, Ella's parents and Lily—who had walked outside after delivering Ella her laptop—watched as the group became entranced by the video playing on the screen. Grace and Parker found it incredibly amusing and it reminded them of when Ella would have her friends over and they would head over to the nearest Blockbuster to get a few movies to rent and tried watching them all until every single one of them succumbed to sleep.
What piqued their curiosity though was the way Ella would lean into Alex, and how he would hold her tightly and play with the strands of hair that fell over her shoulder.
Grace and Parker had noticed the way those two looked at each other and they knew that Ella felt some type of way about the boy just from getting a peek at it for a few minutes during breakfast.
The parents shared knowing looks and smirks, knowing they'd be asking Ella about it later but since Lily was right there, they figured they could look for some answers.
"So what's the deal with them two?" Grace started, catching Lily's attention, "Are they dating and she hasn't told us yet or what?"
Lily shook her head and sighed, "Have no clue, ma. But they were glued together all day yesterday, I can tell you that."
Parker hummed, "Elaborate on that, hun."
"Holding hands, holding each other's waists, kissing each other's cheeks, taking pictures, going together everywhere, giggling and whispering to each other." Lily sighed like it was a burden to recall, "They were disgustingly cute, really."
The list of things her eldest daughter had just given them made them even more curious about it, but before either Grace or Parker could ask about it, Lily added, "Oh and when he was singing, he would keep singing at her and there's this song that Breana said he'd written about her called 'Arabella'. He got down on one knee to sing a bit of that song to her and all."
The smirk on Lily's face was matched by Grace and Parker couldn't help but cackle at the information, "If he's even gonna think of getting down on one knee for her, he's gotta ask me first."
Grace scoffed and handed him a tray for him to place the food that was already done, before shutting him down, "Oh you old man, stop it. They're so cute actually, look at how big she's smiling!"
It wasn't an exaggeration at all for the smile on Ella's face was so big it reached her eyes and the apples of her cheeks were tinted a lovely shade of pink that made Grace coo.
"She's enamored." Her mom concluded, knowing that look on her daughter's face so well. She was just hoping it didn't end badly for her like it had the two previous times.
Lily hummed in agreement, "She sure is but she's too much of a pussy to admit it."
"Lilian!" Parker and Grace called out for the use of such a vulgar word.
"What?! It's true!" Lily raised her hands in defense, "The girls told me she's been in denial for a while. I wonder how much longer it'll take her."
Parker watched the scene through the glass of the sliding doors again, and he smiled tenderly seeing how his daughter relaxed in Alex's hold when the singer dropped a kiss on her temple after mumbling something in her ear that made her giggle.
"Not much longer." Ella's dad concluded; he had a hunch.
Before Grace and Lily could interrogate him as to why he thought so, they watched as the group in the living room stood up from their places and made their way back outside. They begrudgingly had to shut up and leave the subject for later, which they knew they would ask Ella about later that day if possible, especially since Lily had to leave early in the morning and she was too intrigued to let it pass.
When everyone went back to their seats, the food was already set on the table and their mouths watered at the sight. They waited for Lily to come back from letting the driver know that the food was ready and they were waiting for him to join them, and as that happened, Ella's parents asked about the video.
Ella explained the concept behind it and the song and how they both complimented each other, praying she wasn't blushing too noticeably when it came to explaining what the song was about.
After her explanation though, Alex couldn't not sing Ella's praises for her work with the video and when Ella's dad asked in a playful manner, "Is she alright? Not too much of a handful to work with?" Alex shook his head no.
"No, she's always been the best. Talented, patient, fun and so professional." His gaze danced between her parents as he said all that but it ended up falling on Ella when he finished, "She's always been gooden, this one."
Aware of it getting too cute, he poked Ella on the ribs and when she jumped in her place, she burst out laughing. "'Course you can't just be nice." Ella reprimanded with a roll of her eyes.
Alex hummed, "Gotta keep you humble."
The whole table smirked, even Lily was smirking as she'd heard Alex's words when she got back and it was like everyone but Alex and Ella shared a silent conversation about the pair while the two were too busy staring at each other lovingly.
When the driver arrived, running as he thought he'd been making them wait for too long, Alex and Ella were snapped out of their trance and the rest of the people at the table cut their telepathic conversation short. The conclusion so far was that they were so obvious yet so oblivious and they wondered what else needed to happen for them to do something about it.
Lunch went amazingly. It was like at breakfast they'd gotten over with the small talk so everyone was going around telling jokes and sharing stories, especially Ella's parents and they all ended up entertained at Ella and Lily's expense.
This meal went on for longer, as the chatter distracted them from quickly making the food in their plates disappear and though it had ended up cold by the time the food was about to be gone, they still enjoyed it all.
When they all deemed themselves full, Ella's dad brought out a big case of beer for everyone to share, and once those were opened, it felt like a proper homecoming.
It surprised Ella how they seemed to not run out of conversation topics, the sun had started going down to sleep on the horizon and the sky was starting to tint different colors. The knowledge of what she had planned for a couple hours later made her smile to herself for a few minutes, she was just relishing in the accents mixing together and the laughs she'd missed so much filling her chest and making her feel warm inside. The imagery of her childhood home mixing with her current life made for a lovely scene and she was taking it all in in fine detail so she could relive the memory every night.
Reaching into Alex's pocket, she fished out the cigarettes she knew he carried everywhere. He'd gotten startled by the sudden touch on his upper thigh but when she got the packet out and smiled, his heartbeat slowed down slightly.
Ella got a cigarette out and placed it between her lips, but before Alex could hand her the lighter, her mom groaned in disapproval. "Really, Eleanor? A cigarette?"
"Mom. Please." She mumbled with the stick poking out of her mouth, her fingers wrapping around the lighter and swiftly igniting a spark to bring alive her oral fixation.
Taking one long drag, she enjoyed the feeling of the smoke in her lungs before exhaling it upwards and then continuing with her quip back at her mom, "I'm a grown woman, we're past the point where you scold me for smoking."
But her mom got up from where she was sitting and walked up to her, squishing her cheeks together making her involuntarily pout she scrambled to hold the cigarette before it fell to the floor. Her mom chuckled and put on a baby voice to say, "I know you're 26 but I don't care, you'll always be my cute little baby."
"Mommmmmm. Stopppppp." She whined, her cheeks still trapped in her mom's hold.
It seemed like Grace didn't plan on letting go but then she just dropped her hand and Ella noticed the mischievous grin on her mom's face as she said, "Hold on a second." before quickly going back inside the house and dashing upstairs.
Ella frowned deeply, "What– Where is she going?"
Lily shrugged, an amused expression on her face because she found her mom hilarious but she assured Ella, "I've no clue." because she had no idea why the woman had gone back inside so hurriedly.
Their silent question was answered when, ten minutes later, Grace interrupted the group's conversation by dropping a handful of thick photo albums on top of the wooden table.
Ella instantly recognized them and whined in complaint, "No, mom! Don't!"
"But why? You were so cute I have to show you off." Her mom defended, opening the first one up and letting the group see newborn Ella wrapped up in hospital blankets and a cute little pink hat.
"Are those all photo albums?" Nick asked, intrigued by the amount of books Grace had brought.
"Yes they are." Grace nodded proudly, "They're all Ella."
That was enough for a bunch of hands to reach for the album and start flipping through the pages to see cute little Ella throughout the years.
Most of the first photo album was of Ella as a baby. Her wearing a bunch of cute little onesies, during each of her first holidays—she'd been dressed up as a baby cupid for her first Valentine's day and it made everyone coo—, as she took her first steps, her first time at the beach, her first baby photoshoot, her first ugly sweater—she'd turned to Alex after Grace had shown that one and said, "Always been a tradition, see?".
The next one's were more of her as a toddler and on. Her wearing a bunch of obnoxious little dresses and smiling so hard to show her little baby teeth it looked forced. A bunch of pictures of her playing dress up with her parents' clothes, many with her whole face disappearing beneath her dad's cowboy hats and the funniest ones of her modeling as she wore her mom's big heels. Her with her first pair of cowboy boots which had been the same day as her first rodeo, from which they had a bunch of pictures of her riding little sheep and then one of her on the podium smiling big as she held her first place golden medal. Some of her smiling wide to show her tooth gap after losing her two upper front baby teeth.
"You were so cute, what happened?" Alex joked, knowing she'd get the reference for his use of words.
Everyone around laughed along, but she blushed knowing why he was saying that and all she could retaliate with was a shove and a weak, "Shut up."
"Awh look at those chubby cheeks!" Kelly cooed, "I wanna eat you up!"
Katie gasped seeing one of her smiling wide with a big ice cream cone, Ella's eyes looked huge and incredibly green in the picture thanks to the sun that there'd been that day at the park, "Your eyes!"
Grace pouted when the model said that, getting nostalgic about her baby's big eyes, "Every time I see her when she's back home I think back to her big eyes she had as a baby. So sad she grew into them as well as her big ears."
Ella chuckled, the big ears she had as a baby had always been endearing to her. There was something it reminded her of, so she shared it to laugh a little at herself, "I looked like Dopey."
"You still do." Nick countered with a snicker.
Ella gasped dramatically and turned to him with a faux offended look on her face, "Yellamo, you offend me."
What the director didn't count on was her dad adding into it by saying, "She sure does look like Dopey when she wakes up." and since they all had seen her just after waking up multiple times, they agreed to taunt her even more.
"Dad!" She exclaimed, offended. Crossing her arms and shaking her head, she huffed in her place, "Can't believe I'm getting cornered in my own house!"
Her mom found it all so entertaining, she added more fuel to the fire by teasing, "Oh just you wait until I bring the VHS tapes."
But before Grace could even take one step, Ella interrupted by standing up herself, "Yeah, no. Not happening." She closed the photo albums and piled them up together before they could get to the ones of her in high school, and shook her head in disapproval, "You already did the photo albums and that's enough." Seeing that it was getting darker by the minute, she added a point that no one could refute, "Plus we need to start getting ready soon. We're going out."
The band and their missus looked at her in confusion, they had no idea they had more planned out for the day. Especially not since Ella hadn't mentioned anything and they had to leave Tennessee around three in the morning.
"Where?" The group asked in chorus.
"Oh there's this fun party down at the biggest pub in town, it's a tradition after Bonnaroo weekend." Ella shrugged as if trying to downplay it, but her failed attempts to hide a smirk made everyone's curiosity spike. But she didn't give them much at all, for all she added was, "Y'all better be ready, we're gonna have some fun."
Her sister was the one to give them a bit more clarity on her intentions by calling her out, "That's code for her getting you shit-faced."
Ella rolled her eyes and quipped back with a meek, "Fuck off, Lily."
One that Grace and Parker reacted surprised about, scolding them both with a quick, "Girls!" that had the sisters turning to them and raising their hands to feign innocence.
Ella was the one to defend herself verbally, pointing out, "What? She's jealous she can't go 'cause she's leaving tomorrow morning."
All it took was one glare from their mom to have both Ella and Lily swallowing their words, and all that was left to do was go back inside and start getting ready. It was almost seven in the evening so they'd have around three hours to make it there and get a table, therefore, Ella wasted no time to wave everyone in—they followed her inside after thanking Ella's parents for the meal and helping gather all the dirty dishes and bringing them inside—and plan on how they'd arrange the use of showers to utilize their time at the best of efficiency.
Since there were only two guest bathrooms, they'd have to take turns to shower. However, to try and be ready on time, while Jamie and Matt took the two guest bathroom showers, Ella had Breana shower in her ensuite and Lily let Katie have her ensuite. Making Alex, Ella, Nick and Kelly the ones to wait to have showers next.
While Bre was in the shower, Ella went to her dresser and found the little gift bag in which she'd hidden two of Alex's gifts and the other was set beside it. She grabbed them and slowly made her way downstairs, knocking on the door of the guest room Alex was staying in.
She had to knock two separate times since he didn't answer at first, and she didn't think much of it until he groggily opened the door and she saw his hair a mess and his eyes a bit red from interrupted sleep, "Oh shit sorry, were you asleep?"
"I was, yeah." Alex said sheepishly, his voice low and sultry, making her wanting to clench her thighs together.
Still, she winced and took a step back as she apologized, "Sorry. I can come back later."
But he shook his head quickly, one of his hands coming to her waist to bring her back close to him, "No, no. What is it darling? Wanna come in?"
She bit her lip briefly. The offer was tempting but she couldn't afford to act on impulse when she was still trying the best way to approach the fact that she was in love with him. It was her turn to shake her head, giving a different excuse to hold her cover, "I can't, Bre is coming out of the shower any second now but I have a few gifts for you."
His eyes opened wide at that information, and when she pulled out the silver gift bag from behind her, he let his shoulders hang and his lips formed in a pout, "Darling, I thought I told you to not be spending money on me."
"Yeah but I had to." Ella stated simply, like it was enough reasoning.
He watched suspiciously as her other hand stayed hidden behind her back, but still refuted her instead of asking about it, "No, you didn't."
She smiled sweetly though, handing him the bag and making it look like she was gonna let go of it any second so he had to take it so as not to have it fall to the floor. "I did because..." She started, digging her hand inside the bag and fishing out a mirrorball just like the one she had in her car, "You needed one of your own."
The feeling that washed over him was indescribable. It was like coming back home after being away for so long, like finding that peace of familiarity that you'd been searching after feeling lonely for way too long, like the warmth that sharing an inside joke with someone brought you, the way the laughter those elicited tasted so much sweeter on one's tongue.
"And you need to be properly ready for tonight." She continued, this time revealing what she'd been hiding behind her back: a brown leather cowboy hat lined with some worn-out looking studs. He took it from her in awe at how good it looked, but before he could put it on to make it a show for her, she said, "Wait, this first," fishing again for the bag and pulling out a bolo tie. She brought it over his head and put it on for him, adjusting it and patting it against his chest, in place and satisfied by the look of it, she smirked proudly, "There you go."
"This is for tonight?" Alex asked, slowly putting the cowboy hat on.
Fuck me, was all that went through her head. He looked so good in a cowboy hat, she half wanted to push him inside the room and get on her knees for him, to suck him off and look up at him dressed like that as she used her mouth to pleasure him.
She had to clear her throat when she realized she needed to answer his question, "Yes and you must wear it."
"What if I don't?" He challenged, slightly confused.
Ella shrugged and nonchalantly replied, "You'd be breaking the rules of the party."
It intrigued him even more. "So are you wearing one as well?"
"I will." Ella teased with a mysterious tone, and the way she shrugged again before adding, "Soon enough." made him raise a brow in silent questioning that she ignored.
With a little wave, she walked backwards a few steps before turning on her heels and going back upstairs. Her thumb came up to her mouth and she bit on the pad of it, nervously, as she couldn't contain her smile and a shriek when she got to her room.
Before she could get too distracted with her daydreaming about Alex in cowboy gear, she made sure to leave a hat for each guy in each of their rooms and once that was done, she went in the shower to start getting ready. Though she did get a little distracted by a few images her brain was conjuring, ones that involved a certain singer in that cowboy hat she'd specifically picked out for him, her hands wandered around her body for long enough to have her biting her bottom lip as she came, careful not to call out to the man she loved but didn't know it yet.
✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧
"Save a horse, ride a cowboy?" Nick asked with a raise of his eyebrow, Kelly's arm hooked around his as they walked closer to the entrance of the southern bar.
Ella turned around at the inquiry, a smirk on her face as she continued slowly walking backwards and opened her arms as if presenting the event for them, "Ladies, you'll have to steal the hats of the cowboy you wanna ride tonight."
Katie and Breana giggled at the information, not even sure of what to expect. Matt had his arm wrapped around his fiance's waist and he made a show of tucking her closer to his side when he said, "Think that's already arranged, no?"
But Ella let her answer open enough to just hint about how messy this all could get if they wanted. "Have fun!" She sing-sang, giving them all a wink before turning on her heels to face the door, opening it wide for them all to come inside the establishment before her and when Alex walked through the threshold, her smirk got bigger as she was swallowed by the familiar tunes playing loudly inside the pub.
The lads had decided to go to the bar to get drinks first, getting what each of the girl's wanted before leaving the table they'd chosen; but when they came back, they learned that they had to be quick about putting the cowboy hats on their partners.
A guy had come up to Katie, clearly chatting her up because of how Katie's cheeks were red and her eyes kept going from the lad to Jamie. The guitarist had turned up a notch in his pace and walked quickly to the table, setting his wife's drink in front of her and dipping down to peck her lips so that the lad got the clue.
"Sorry man, didn't know she was with someone." The lad said with his hands raised, the lack of a hat on Katie's head confusing him but he realized his mistake when he dropped his gaze and noticed the wedding band that adorned the model's ring finger.
Despite the apology, Jamie made a show of taking it off his head and placing it on Katie's. The model blushed even more when seeing Jamie so evidently territorial and she bit her bottom lip when he nodded with a fake smile, "S'alright, now you know."
The tone of his voice was threatening enough to make the guy hurriedly turn around and leave, not even saying bye to who he had just tried to chat up.
Ella chuckled, watching as the rest of the band who had stood there halfway to the table with pressed lips was finishing their walk back, trying not to laugh at a fuming Jamie.
When they all placed the drinks on the table, Ella patted it to bring Jamie's attention back to them, since he had been glaring at the guy's back as he walked away, and with an amused grin, she loudly warned the lads, "They're fast so go on placing those hats on your girls."
It was enough for Nick and Matt to quickly place their hats on Kelly and Breana respectively. Ella brought her whiskey and coke up to her mouth to take a gulp of it and chuckled at the lads' panicked faces as the alcohol went down her throat.
Tonight is promising.
Noticing there was one cowboy left, Ella left her glass on the table and leaned back in her seat. She looked at Alex and wiggled her eyebrows to tease him, "Only a matter of time until they come to snatch yours away now."
But Alex surprised her when he shook his head, rounding the table to lean down and whisper in her ear, "Don't think so." just as he took the hat off his head and placed it over Ella's.
Maybe it was being home that brought her the confidence, or the delicious taste of Tennessee whiskey on her tongue, or perhaps finally giving a name to all that she felt for the singer, but she adjusted the hat on her head and turned to whisper back in his ear, "Good choice, sweets."
Everyone was looking at them when Alex stood back up straight, but Ella cut their gawking by gulping down the rest of her drink, slamming the glass on the table and then grabbing Kelly and Katie's hands and nodding Bre over to the dancefloor, "Let's go dance, my loves."
Ella was on a roll. She vibrated with energy as she danced around, going to the bar when she felt thirsty and gulping down half a glass before leaving it on the table to go back to the girls dancing.
There was a side of her that came out of hiding in her hometown, just like her accent had come back subtly in the timbre of her voice, they had seen it in the way she let go of herself the day before at the festival and she was a level of carefree they hadn't seen before.
The alcohol had been helpful at pushing her inhibitions further away from her mind. Hips swaying more confidently, her hold tight around Bre's waist as they danced together to a song they both adored, even laughing with the people dancing around her who were just fully feeding off her energy.
That was why she had been the first of the girls to go back to the table and pull one of the lads up to dance.
She clutched Alex's hands tightly and forced him up his seat, wordlessly guiding him to the dancefloor with her and even though Alex had no appeal to dance in the public space in such an unfamiliar setting, he just couldn't say no to her.
There was nothing she could ask of him that he would deny her.
And the few glasses of straight whiskey on ice had been helpful too at not thinking much about all the people around them.
His hands fell on Ella's waist as soon as she turned around when she deemed them far enough into the crowd of sweaty bodies dancing to the music. Ella's arms wrapped around his shoulders and he smiled at her when the flashback to Nick and Kelly's wedding reception came to the forefront of his mind.
Alex went along with her every move, his breath hitching in his throat when she'd come to press her front against him, so painfully aware of the feeling of her so close to him and how much he was enjoying it. Secretly wishing there'd be an opportunity to have her properly pressed against him without having to be dancing—he was wishing he could just do it for the hell of it, just because he enjoyed being so close to her and he would steal a kiss from her too if she allowed him to.
She looked breathtaking in a blue corset top that zipped up on her front, so her tits were perfectly scooped up and they looked as if they were about to spill out of the fabric. With it, she'd worn a white satin skirt that came down to her mid thighs but with all the dancing, it had come up until her red ink tattoo showed perfectly for everyone. She'd changed her worn out brown boots from earlier for a pair of red heeled cowboy boots, ones that made her look exquisite. And her hair fell over her shoulders in loose curls, a few strands framing her pretty face which had a bit of makeup that enhanced her beauty.
His hopes went up when she started leaning into him after a pair of songs, but she missed his mouth entirely, instead going further until she could speak right into his ear, "Wanna get another drink?"
With a nod, he confirmed he did want to and Ella led the way once again. She had ordered shots of tequila instead, asking for lime so she could bear the taste of the two shots she'd gotten each.
Casamigos burned down their throats when they knocked them down, Ella bravely going for the second one without the lime after the first and she hissed when her second ran down her throat. The lime did help, slightly. Alex watched as she tried to get the most juice out of the wedge she had between her lips, his gaze growing hazy under the influence and his thoughts going a bit off the tracks at the sight of her plump lips sucking on the fruit.
Two whiskeys on ice were added onto their tab, one for each of them which they leisurely drank as they watched the rest of their group taking space in the dancefloor. The girls had followed Ella's lead earlier and brought their own partners up to dance with them. It was hilarious seeing Nick try to dance along, he was so stiff trying to match his pregnant wife's energy. At least the bar was playing all sorts of music so they weren't stuck trying to figure out how to dance to country music.
"He needs another drink." Ella commented, sipping on her own before correcting herself, "A few more, at least." Alex agreed with a hum around the rim of his glass.
But Nick had barely had another two glasses of whatever spirits he was having by the time Ella and Alex were long into their journey of getting drunk.
The rest of the band and their missus watched not so subtly as Alex and Ella kept giggling about, leaning into each other to whisper things in their ears and sharing touches that stayed on their skin for far too long.
At the start of one of her favorite songs, Ella took off to the dancefloor without even thinking of dragging anyone with her and it was mesmerizing how the crowd opened up to welcome her and she so easily made people turn around to look at her as she came alive to the music.
Some joined her, girls mainly just cheering her on and trying to feed off her energy but Ella was too eye-catching, a guy taking the opportunity to wrap his arm around her waist and turn her around so she could face him.
Alex's blood started boiling when he watched that happen, but he noticed the way her hands only hovered over the lad's chest and she gave him a soft smile and a "Hi." that seemed the slightest bit enthusiastic.
The singer's gaze was stuck on them as they danced along some old rock tune he didn't recognize, he could hear Ella's giggles if he concentrated enough and he only noticed his white-knuckle clutch on the back of his chair when Kelly walked past him after coming back from the bar and asked if he was alright.
A forced smile and a nod was all that she gave her as an answer, his eyes not wanting to leave what was unfolding in front of him but it seemed the split second he had taken his gaze off them, Ella had disappeared.
Suddenly, a heavy weight dropped all the way down to the pits of his stomach, menacingly threatening to make him sick, as if all of the alcohol he had ingested was rising up his throat with each second that passed and he couldn't find her. But then she appeared from the left side of the room, alone, and Alex took a deep breath in relief.
Her hand came up to her head to adjust Alex's hat on it, and with a raised brow, she asked, "You alright?" His cheeks were flushed from the alcohol he'd had so far and his pupils were blown but there was something written in them in fine letters that she got curious about.
Yet, he didn't give him the answer she wanted to receive. Completely ignoring her, he decided to point out her actions, "Don't wanna take that hat off then?" It was subtle enough, he thought, a question that would give him a secure answer about what she was currently thinking.
And it was her smirk, along with the way she leaned closer to him—elbows on the table, chin propped on the palms of her hands, dreamy eyes—to say, "I don't think I will, no."
The slight scrunch of her nose, the way she slowly pushed herself off the table—giving him an eyeful of her cleavage—and the wink she left him with as she walked back to the bar ignited something inside him, something he would have trouble controlling as the night went on.
It was like he was fully magnetized to her after that, a minute had been too long for him to wait for her to come back from the bar so he walked up to her and wrapped his arms around her waist from behind.
His scent was unmissable, so easy for her to recognize even in a crowded sweaty room, so she hummed as she melted in his hold.
"Want anything?" She asked softly, her words careful not to show how much the circles his fingers were drawing on the skin of her lower stomach were affecting her heart rate.
Leaning in to reply, Alex couldn't help himself from dropping a kiss on the side of her neck, and he thought about how much he wanted to bite and mark her up as he took his time to come up with, "Whatever you're having, darling."
Her clenched jaw was a product of her trying not to let her mouth fall open and make sounds at the feeling of his lips grazing her skin and his hot breath hitting the sensitive spot of her neck.
The bartender came back with her glass and she asked him to please get her another one, words almost catching up on her throat when someone slipped behind Alex therefore making the singer press closer to her back and she could feel all of him so well.
Hurriedly, Ella took a gulp of her drink and Alex giggled in her ear at the speed of it. "Easy there darling." He warned as if he wasn't just as tipsy as her, the whiskey they had been having was no longer burning as it went down their throats.
His fingers clutching her tighter enhanced his proximity a tenfold, goosebumps breaking on her skin at the feeling of his face so close to hers and his hair tickling her cheek.
Soon enough, the bartender came back with Alex's glass and after the singer got ahold of it and thanked him, they went back to the table.
Under everyone's gaze, Alex found himself not giving a flying fuck about anything else but him and Ella. She had sat on his lap and joined the conversation Jamie and Bre had started, laughing loudly at Jamie's commentary on the place they were at, but she was slightly distracted by the way Alex's free hand came to rest on her thigh, rubbing over her 'Divine feminine' tattoo, making her shift on his lap, and making Alex groan against her shoulder.
She smirked at the reaction, playing dumb when she squirmed on him twice more in the span of the fifteen minutes they'd been sitting down, chatting with their friends.
In that last instance, he'd dug his teeth into her flesh after her ass rubbed on his hardening cock too well. His eyes had rolled into the back of his head, a moan stuck on his throat that he alleviated by biting on the crook of her neck and earning a gasp of pleasure from her.
Ella let herself fall back on his chest, a drunk smile on her face that he matched. She knew what she was doing and his reactions were driving her crazy, but she didn't know what to do next, so much rushing through her drunk mind that she struggled to pick the next move.
And then, as if by design, a 50 Cent song came on and Ella knew exactly what to do.
As they walked into the dancefloor, Alex could imagine every way this would go but when Ella stopped and wrapped his arm around her middle to start grinding on him, Alex swore he had died.
She leaned her head back onto him as her hips drove him mad with a pace that changed along with the rhythm of the song, he dipped his head into her neck, leaving wet kisses that only encouraged her to continue.
It wasn't long before he was groaning against her skin, starting to suck bruises on the sensitive skin of her neck in response. Ella whimpered and moaned, every time he sucked harshly and dug his teeth into her flesh, licking over his abuse with his warm tongue.
Their minds were reeling, the notion that they were out in public slipping away the more they continued. He grew harder against her ass and the flimsy satin of her skirt and the fabric of his black jeans did nothing to conceal the feeling of his bulge pressing against her.
Heat rushed through her, pooling in between her legs where she throbbed for him. Her brain was starting to cloud with need, a hunger that only he could satiate. She loved him and she needed him right then and there.
And so, without thinking of any of the consequences it would bring, Ella grabbed his hand which was holding her flush against him, fingers interlocking as she loosened his grasp only to drop it as she turned around to face him.
Their chests heaved as they made eye contact, and the second she caught the darkness in his eyes, her fingers wrapped around the bolo tie she'd gifted him and pulled him in to capture his lips in a heated kiss.
Words could not do justice to the array of emotions that exploded in their chests the second their lips met. But the lust that exuded through their pores was made palpable through the moans they let out when their tongues met.
Her white knuckle grip on the bolo tie loosened when his hand dropped from her waist to her ass and he grabbed a handful of it only to squeeze at it harshly, kneading it possessively and making Ella whimper against his mouth.
Up his chest until she could wrap her fingers around his neck, Ella let her hand wander. The pressure she applied on the sides of his neck made him moan sweetly, high pitch in need and Ella couldn't hold back the smirk that elicited from her.
She couldn't stop smiling after that, trying to continue with the kiss but he kept kissing her teeth until his lips started moving down her jaw and back to her neck, where he wanted to continue his attack.
But her breathy, "Let's go somewhere." interrupted his actions.
He was just as breathless as her, his voice almost a whisper under the loud music, "Where, darling?" Once his words were out in the air though, he dipped his head again to kiss down her neck.
"I don't know–" She said as she tried to look around for a place to escape, but then, Alex's tongue came flat in between the valley of her breasts, licking up from her cleavage to her neck and her knees buckled. "Oh fuck." She moaned at the feeling of his wet tongue teasing her flushed skin. In a desperate effort, she looked to the far right of the place and saw the neon signs that led to the washrooms, so with one last roll of her hips against him, Ella desperately said, "Bathroom. Let's just go to the bathroom."
With their fingers intertwined, they pushed through the dancing crowd towards the hallway of the bathrooms, but it seemed like their intentions were written on their faces in big bold letters for a security guard glared at them and warned them that they had to go in separately.
Ella rolled her eyes once she nodded walking past the big man in all black attire, with Alex pressed right behind her like a leech. She turned the corner and ran towards the first door she saw, which was unfortunately locked, so she tried her luck with the other three and they all were the same.
She sighed, exasperatedly, her slick cunt still throbbing for him and the feeling of him rock hard behind her wasn't helping.
"We can wait." Alex whispered in her ear, his voice deliciously falling in her ears and making her turn quickly to kiss him again.
This time Alex pressed her against the wall, one of his legs coming between hers and his hand falling to her ass again but this time to encourage her to press her clit on his thigh, to let the friction alleviate the ache in her core.
"Alex, fuckkkk." She mewled in his mouth, the friction making her jaw drop and lose her sense of logic long enough to stop kissing him.
But he cupped her jaw with his free hand, pressing on her cheeks softly to pucker her lips up and guide her back to where he wanted her.
He didn't want to stop kissing her. Not now, not ever.
Both her hands desperately ran up his chest and clutched onto his shoulders, nails digging into his clothed skin, trying to keep him there and give herself some support as her legs trembled beneath her. If Alex didn't have her pressed against the wall, she was sure she would've fallen to the ground.
Their eyes closed in pleasure, as if they were purely relying on their touch to memorize every bit of this moment. But when they heard a lock of one of the doors behind them come undone and open, their eyes snapped wide open and they barely waited a few seconds for the girl who came out of it to scramble inside and lock the door behind them.
To their despair though, the girl who'd come out had quickly walked up to the security guard and pointed out what clearly was about to happen in the bathroom Ella and Alex had just walked in. The big man wasted no time to go up to the door that the girl had pointed and slam his fist against it so hard that it made the pair flinch and open the door with a fright.
"Told y'all one at a time." He repeated his words from before with a stern look on his face. "I'm warning y'all, if I find you sneaking into the bathroom together again I'm kicking you out."
Unlike Ella who was on the verge of flipping off the man and telling him to go fuck himself, Alex nodded with an embarrassed smile and started walking away, not wanting to get them in trouble.
The singer looked at Ella's expression as they slowly walked out and he had to leave a few pecks on her lips to have her drop that menacing face before she could get told off again. His lips did the magic of loosening up her frown, and when he interlocked their fingers and guided her out of the area, she seemed a bit more relaxed.
She was still fuming though, and it was obvious when they walked up to the far side of the bar in a corner where no one stood and she crossed her arms and huffed like a kid before muttering, "Fucking cockblocker."
Alex chuckled, all that he could think about was how much he fucking loved her. "S'okay, darling, we can wait until we find somewhere else." He promised wholeheartedly, but it slipped past his drunk mind that they wouldn't have any time when they got back to Ella's house.
Ella pouted, "But I don't wanna wait." She really wanted him right then and there.
Alex's head hung at the pitch of her voice, whiny and needy. His blood rushed down to his cock all over again, when he made direct contact with her flushed chest and those tits he just wanted to see spill out of that corset and run his mouth all over them, "Ella..."
His breath hitched in the back of his throat when her fingers clasped onto the buckle of his belt and she pulled him into her, his bulge pressing against her mound. "Sweetness, please." Ella whined again, she didn't give a fuck about sounding desperate at this point.
"You're driving me crazy." Alex confessed before his lips latched onto a spot on her neck, directly opposite to one he'd left on the other side of her neck just before when they were dancing.
Under her breath, Ella cursed, "Fuck..." The feeling of him biting and sucking on her skin was lighting her up alive.
In that very corner they stayed, kissing and biting, hips rolling and hands wandering, moans spilling out of each other's mouths; and with everything, the need for each other grew and grew and grew until it became unbearable.
The desperation was clear in every kiss, in the way their bodies rolled and pushed against each other, in the way their hands kept the other in place with fingers digging harshly into skin, groping, pulling, scratching.
The whole group had lost sight of the pair after they disappeared from the dancefloor, everyone at the table too shocked by what they'd just seen them do to go out looking for them. But then ten minutes rolled by and then, ten more. And no one had a clue about where the horny pair had gone. That was until Breana and Matt were dancing and caught them kissing in the corner to the far side of the bar.
At first they were just gonna let them have at it, knowing how damn long it had been until the two had finally done something about the horrendous tension between them and the clear feelings they had for each other. But then, as the model and her fiance danced and giggled about Ella and Alex eating each other's faces and how they were about to just shag in front of everyone at that point, they noticed a big security guard glaring at them and talking through the radio clipped on his vest.
Bre narrowed her eyes suspiciously, anticipating something happening so she dragged Matt with her slowly to the edges of the dancing mass of people in the middle of the room. The man kept talking through his radio, his eyes never leaving Ella and Alex and it seemed like he was becoming annoyed by the behavior of the couple.
Sure enough, it looked like he had gotten an instruction through the radio and he started taking slow and steady steps towards them. It made Breana flinch, before her mind could process, she told Matt, "You get Alex, I'll get Ella."
The model had no idea how fast she'd gone, but she grabbed Ella's wrist and snatched her away from Alex in a split second before the security guard could get there.
Ella whined at the loss of Alex, her lips swollen, pink and wet but begging to have Alex's mouth back on them. A sheer coat of sweat was clear on her skin when the lights of the place fell on her from time to time, and her hair was disheveled in a subtle way under the cowboy hat which haphazardly took home on her head still.
"Are you fucking joking Bre?!" Ella complained loudly when Breana took her to the opposite end of the bar, far away from the man who had been planning on approaching her and Alex.
Breana saw the stern look on his face as she tried to settle Ella down, "Ella–"
Ella was fuming though, no explanation was enough to have ruined the moment for her, "No, why would you do that?!"
It was a childish tantrum she was throwing but Bre knew she was drunk so she couldn't blame her. Softly cupping her face, Bre whispered, "Hey. Hey." trying to get Ella to look at her. When she did, Bre kept eye contact to promise, "Trust me, you'll thank me tomorrow."
"Oh fuck off." Ella spouted with venom laced in her words.
Bre sighed in frustration before explaining, "That guard was about to kick you and Alex out. You need to either calm down or stop."
When Ella followed the way Breana was pointing at and saw the man from the bathrooms, she rolled her eyes, "Of course, that fucking cockblocker."
"Christ, you're drunk." Bre winced. She was growing more relieved by the second that she'd interrupted just for the sake of Ella's feelings and her mind not being a mess in the morning.
She'd seen Ella overthinking before and she had no idea how bad it would get if she and Alex got to do something while drunk and then him leaving to continue the tour the very next day. Or in the next hour, more like. And she already knew how it had ended the last time they'd been drunk and gotten horny.
"M'not!" Ella countered, stomping her foot on the floor like a kid.
But she wasn't a kid and Breana was straight up about what was going through her head, "You are! And now I'm even more glad I did this." Ella was done with the conversation, all that she was thinking of Bre in that moment was that she was a cockblocker and had ruined it all for her.
To impede her from leaving, Bre held Ella's and forced her to stay while she said, "Remember the morning after Nick and Kelly's wedding?" She felt the director freeze in her place, her muscles tensing at the reminder of that shitshow. Bre knew she had struck a nerve but Ella needed to realize that if she really wanted it to work out, she had to think properly and be sober to put her feelings first, which were the one thing that mattered most—if she was just horny, she could use her own fingers—but she couldn't ruin this potential with Alex. "Yeah, that's what I thought. Wanna go fuck him in the bathroom and then what's gonna happen in the morning? A repeat of that bullshit?"
With her jaw clenched, Ella huffed. "Don't."
"You know I'm right." Bre let out another sigh, she didn't want to seem like a bitch, she was just trying to guard Ella from fucking up her chances and hurting her own feelings by going about it all too impulsively. "I'm not doing this to upset you, I'm doing it to protect you from it all going to absolute shit again. You both need to be in all your senses if you want it to happen."
Ella felt like she was being scolded. Every bit of adrenaline evaporated from her body, and she felt herself coming down from the high she'd been on. She even felt like the drunken haze she'd been swirling in was dissipating, the annoyance and anger having sobered her up slightly.
Breana got her two water bottles before they could go back to the table, and when she got there, Alex was already sitting on his spot and offered her a loopy smile before waving her over to him.
This time she took a seat beside him, opening one of the water bottles and taking the hat off her head before leaning against him and resting her head on his shoulder.
He'd been less audibly angry at Matt than Ella had been at Breana, but when he heard the drummer say that the security man had been coming towards them, he stopped glaring at his best mate with fury, understanding they'd gotten them away from trouble. Alex made a mental note to keep an eye out for the man so as not to get in trouble again; he'd said they'd get kicked out after all and that was the last thing he wanted.
Alex just wanted to keep enjoying the night with his darling by his side, just like she was right then.
About an hour went by after that incident. Ella had progressively sobered up thanks to the water she'd been ingesting and dancing away with the girls multiple times. She'd placed the cowboy hat back on the very second she got up from her seat the first time she went with the girls, and the thought of her making sure it was on her head before leaving made Alex's stomach flip.
She'd taken Alex with her to the dancefloor a couple times but since the group accompanied them as well, nothing like before had happened. Their giggles got lost between the music when they danced, their touch on each other more innocently than before—except for the times he let his hand playfully fall to her ass and she'd indulged in it completely happy to have that happen anyways.
For once, Ella had left her camera home—since she planned on drinking, she was aware of the fact that she'd be very clumsy and could drop it, lose it one way or another, or just forget it—so it had been Breana to bring her camera and be in charge of the pictures that evening.
She'd taken loads of pictures at the table already, making sure to document every moment and comically taking pictures of every one of the lads with their cowboy hats on before making the girls take their pictures with the lads' hats on.
Many of the girls on the dancefloor had been taken too but Bre had left the camera behind when they'd go more times than not, so when the whole group went to dance, she made sure to take the device with her.
They wouldn't know until weeks later how good those pictures had turned out to be. Not only technically speaking, but in terms of the moments that had been captured. Nick doing a funny dance with Jamie scowling in the background, Katie trying to balance her glass on her head, Kelly and Nick dancing while he held her belly from behind, Bre showing off her ring to the camera while adjusting her cowboy hat on her head.
When the lenses had been aimed at Ella and Alex, they'd stopped dancing to press their cheeks together and smile brightly—their grins so big, their eyes closed.
Bre focused the shot and once she got it perfectly, she counted down, "One, two, three!"
But the second the model yelled out three, Alex broke his smile to run his tongue flat on Ella's face, from her chin, over her lips and to her nose. There the tip of his tongue got stuck inside her nostril for a split moment before it ended up following its path up the bridge of her scrunched up nose. The shutter had gone off right in the middle of that.
The giggles that fell from Ella's lips gave Alex life. His heart swelled inside his chest and burst with love, so without much to think about, one of his hands coming to cup her face while the other held onto her waist to pull her in a dizzying kiss. A teeth-rottingly cute moment that had also been captured by Bre's camera.
In between pictures and kissing and dancing, the group got lost in the music, enjoying the moment so much that time kept flying by unbeknownst to their distracted minds.
Since it had been a while she'd had a drink, and she felt a lot more sober, Ella felt the need to get herself something from the bar. She and Alex had stolen Jamie's drink earlier and been sharing sips but she wanted her own, so she told him she'd be going to get herself a drink. He nodded and Ella knew he was about to go with her but she told him to stay with their friends and that she'd be back in no time.
Reluctantly, he agreed. Watching her walk away was a sight to behold: those legs of hers strutting up to the bar, her skirt barely covering her ass now after all the dancing and squeezing Alex had done. His fingertips tingled at the thought of touching her again, he just wanted to be all over her again.
So he slithered his way through the crowd out to the edge of it but before he could fully escape it and he watched as she waited for the bartender to take her order, a guy waiting around as well walked up to her and started chatting her up.
Ella's eyes were barely on the guy after he said hello because she watched as Alex walked out of the crowd with a wicked grin on his face. She barely listened as the stranger went on about how beautiful she was and, after he asked where she was from and she'd said she was a local, how weird it was that he'd never seen her before if she was from Manchester; her gaze was on Alex who was smirking oddly at the situation.
She was lost in how his fingers combed through his hair, the slight raise of his brow as if challenging her to go along, those lips she'd tasted all night long slightly parted as he watched.
Her ears barely caught the "Huh?" that the guy had uttered before he pulled back to watch her awaiting an answer, so she looked at him and said, "Sorry, what was that?"
The guy laughed, slightly amused, wrongly taking it as if she was trying to play hard to get but it truly was that she was plainly ignoring him.
"I said, whose hat is that anyway? Don't see you here with anyone."
He was bold, Ella would give him that but that didn't hold her back from rolling her eyes before placing them back on Alex, who's gaze burned on her and filled her with a prickling feeling from head to toe.
She didn't really feel the need to waste her breath answering, so she simply pointed behind the man at the singer and when he caught Alex's figure leaning against the wall, sipping on his drink with a deadly glare on his eyes, he nodded.
"Right." He sounded gutted and it almost had Ella breaking down in laughter. "Sorry."
"No worries." Ella replied, giving him a fake pity smile and patted his shoulder like he was a little kid she was faking to be sad to tell unimportant bad news to.
As soon as the stranger was gone, Alex started making his way up to Ella. There was a hungry look on his face, and she felt almost like a prey watching as she was about to get pounced on.
A rush of heat traveled between her legs and it grew in intensity, not only because of having been unable to attend to it before, but because when he reached her, his left hand came to grab a handful off her ass to pull her flush against him. His fingers dug into her over the fabric of her skirt, pinky managing to burn onto her skin as it pressed on a spot the satin couldn't cover.
Ella's hands pressed on his chest, eye contact unwavering as her fingers danced up over his shirt, past the bolo tie she'd gifted him and when they found his thin gold chain, she fiddled with it like she was unsure of continuing with what she wanted to do. Bre's words reverberated inside her mind, echoing annoyingly with a logic that she couldn't deny was valid.
"Was he bothering you?" He made sure to ask first, and if the answer was positive he'd be off to break that twat's nose in a second.
But she shook her head, licking her bottom lip before she cheekily let him know, "He just wanted to know whose hat this is."
Under her hands, she felt the vibration of his hum and it reverberated deep inside her, making her bite her lip not to make a noise of her own in response.
There was an underlying meaning when he looked down to her parted mouth and back up to her eyes and he said, "Mine, yeah?" It was so vague and, even though they were talking about the hat, it felt like they both knew it went further than that.
She was breathless by then, a heavy breath pushing past her lips that he felt hit his own mouth. She nodded so faintly anyone else could've missed it, but not Alex, he was watching her so intently and waiting for her answer.
It didn't take longer for it to reach his ears, a shaky "Yeah, yours." that sounded like it was coated in thick honey, so sweet he could melt to his knees right in front of her.
So much rushed through his brain at the confirmation. Yours. He wanted to make her his so badly, there wasn't a thing on the planet he wanted more than for Ella to be truly his but there wasn't much he could do now.
Just one thing.
His drink was hastily dropped with a thud over the bar, and his now free hand came to cup her jaw firmly to pull her into another kiss. Feeling her plush lips slotting between his was heaven, her arms wrapping around his neck to keep him close and her fingers tangling in her hair at the nape of his neck drove him mad.
He groaned hard when she opened her mouth to greet his tongue, each other's wetness meeting and tasting the alcohol they had been drinking all night. His fingers dug harsher into her ass and in response she offered him a soft moan that he swallowed gladly as he intensified the kiss.
It was as if losing count of how many drinks they'd had hadn't been responsible for their dizziness, instead it was the way their lips melted together and their tongues lapped at each other like there wasn't time to waste.
And there really wasn't, but their breaths grew heavy as they went and they broke the kiss with a loud smack that rang in their ears just in time for Ella to be tapped on the shoulder and get her order taken.
She barely gave herself time to tell the man behind the bar to give her two whiskey and cokes because she hurried to turn back around and cup Alex's jaw to clash their mouths together again. A moan rumbled through him at the pressure of her mouth on his, loving the desperation it exuded.
But he remembered he had to be careful about the man having his eye out for them so that they could properly enjoy their time together there. He pulled back with an enamored grin that had her stealing one last chaste peck of his lips before he suggested, "Shall we go sit down?"
Ella nodded without really thinking, she just wanted him close and she'd follow wherever he wanted to go then.
When they got back to the table, it was unfortunate how she took her own seat but he didn't let the half foot distance between them deter him. He pulled on her chair so it'd be pressed right next to his and, as they got thrown into their friend's conversation, Alex used the fact that the table was covering them up to have his hand rest on the top of her naked thigh. Not that they really needed to hide anything anymore, their friends had seen a lot happen already and they wouldn't be surprised about his touch on her.
She felt herself throbbing and becoming more uncomfortably wet the more he brushed his fingers on the skin of her thighs, cheekily letting his digits go further up and inside, enough to brush against the damp fabric of her underwear and have her struggling not to let out a sound.
In a desperate attempt to gain control over Alex's touch but not lose it completely, Ella clutched his wrist and kept him in place before she crossed her leg over the other.
A "Fuck..." came as a low mumble from him, her heat radiating right into his hand which was now trapped between her legs and he truly wouldn't have it any other way. He wanted to take her right then and there.
Ella turned to glance at him, just to scour his reaction to what she'd just done and lust was written all over his face. She wanted trouble, it seemed like, because she clenched her thighs together slightly, letting out a small whimper that only he heard. Alex's fingers harshly dug into the flesh of her thigh in response, not like a threat, but a taste of how badly he wanted her.
Alex took out his phone to check on the time, trying to see how much time they could have if they were to leave the place right then. He needed her so badly, he would leave the party right then no matter how early it could be.
But they had lost grasp of the notion of time because a horrendous 02:30 am flashed on his screen and he knew that it would be soon that they'd have to leave to go back to Ella's. They were gonna barely make it as well and he was sure that Steve would be fuming at him the following day since he had let the band stay a day longer if they promised to be in Pittsburg by noon. It was over nine hours to get there so that promise was long broken by then.
Over his shoulder, Ella managed to catch a glimpse of the time and her mischievous expression fell into a sad pout. She rested her chin on his shoulder and whispered, wholeheartedly despaired, "I don't want you to go."
He nodded. He didn't want to go either, he wished he could stay there with her and tell her how much he loved her in every way possible: with words, with his body, with his lips, moving mountains and bringing her the moon down from the sky if she wanted. He'd do anything.
"Not yet." He mumbled with his face turned to the side to look at her better.
Her gaze fell to his lips, they looked so irresistible and after having had them on hers multiple times throughout the night, she felt greedy and took another kiss from him. It was cute this time. Started as an elongated peck that deepened into a slow meaningful one when he moved in his chair and cupped her face delicately.
Before relaxing back on his chair, Alex stole a few pecks. It made her smile like a fool, and though she wanted to yell at herself for wearing her heart on her sleeve and being so obvious, she just couldn't not become putty in his hands when he was sweet like that.
She uncrossed her legs to let his hand free then, but he didn't let her take herself away from him that easily—his hands grabbed her legs and threw them over his lap, his hands coming to rest over her thighs which he grabbed with a hint of possessiveness. His left hand cupped the flesh of her thighs with determination while he used his right hand to just rest on her thigh and rub soothing circles on her skin. The contrast made her swoon, she kept trying to focus on their friends conversing around them but her gaze was drawn back to his touch on her again and again.
Thirty minutes. They had thirty more minutes.
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It was unfair really, how she could barely have them for forty eight hours and how those seemed to have flown by before their eyes.
Those thirty minutes at the pub had gone by in a flash, between the laughter and chatter, and the new round of drinks they all got to cheers for the lovely weekend—more like an unusual two day bender as it had been Sunday and Monday they'd spent together—, they hadn't realized it was time to go until the bus driver texted the groupchat the guys had with Steve and the rest of the crew to say they really needed to leave as soon as possible.
The group quickly left the establishment, the panic of them not making it in time to properly soundcheck before the show enveloping them all. It was good that they'd been smart and put away all of their things in the bus before leaving for the party, but it didn't matter that much how much time that saved when they were waiting for their taxi to arrive and they were about fifteen minutes away from Ella's.
It was torture when the trip back to Ella's house felt longer, as if the minutes had intentionally elongated when she was feeling the weight of the imminent goodbye pressing on her chest and threatening to make it difficult for her to breathe.
Alex was sitting next to her on the van that had picked them up, and they were keeping each other as close as possible, silently and prematurely making up for the distance that would separate them very soon.
He kept leaving kisses on the top of her head, while she brought their interlocked hands up to her face and kept dropping pecks on the back of his hand. Wordlessly reminding each other that they were still there, tasting every second they had with the other.
Knowing now that she was deeply in love with him made it hurt so much more, and that was why, when they had finally gotten back to Ella's house and walked onto the cobblestone path and towards the bus, Ella had let herself break and with her voice trembling as she tried containing her tears, she pleaded, "Don't go."
Tears pooled in her waterline, the corners of her lips dropping in a sad pout that squeezed Alex's heart. A knot formed in his throat, the despair she felt was the one tugging at his heartstrings as well. He walked up to her slowly, fearful that if he moved quicker that he would be snatched away from her even faster.
"I don't wanna." Alex admitted too, in a whisper. His arms softly snaked around her waist but when they were properly wrapped around it, he clutched her tightly onto his chest.
"Just–" She tried to say but her voice broke. A confession of every thought that went through her mind weighed on her tongue, she wanted so hard to tell him but what difference would it make if he was leaving? She sniffled as the tears started running down her cheeks, she was so frustrated. Her arms wrapped around his shoulders and kept him as close as he could to her, she could only mutter what she selfishly wanted for him to do, to not leave her. "Don't. Please."
Alex didn't move, only holding her tighter to him. His own tears fell when her chest started shaking against his as she started to sob. He had to pull back to wipe her tears and look at her in the eyes and console her with his words. But when he looked at those eyes he'd fallen hypnotized for, glassy and her nose reddening from her crying, his words failed him.
All he could properly do was kiss her.
The air charged with sorrow made the kiss feel incredibly moving, the second their lips touched and started moving together, something shifted. There was a new understanding, an underlying message that they both got.
It tasted salty from their tears, but it was slow and delicate. Their tongues didn't touch until she'd let herself whimper with despair into his mouth—those flames that had enveloped her earlier at the taste of him were long gone, all that was left was the heaviness of her chest that begged her to savor every bit of his affection, desperately longing for him already.
She didn't know if the alcohol was making it feel so much worse or if it was the fact that she'd come out of denial that made it so much more atrocious to have to see him go. All that it would take was her letting those words out, properly; yet, she didn't know if she was brave enough to be heard and then left behind for his responsibilities right after. If he were to reciprocate, she would run away with him from everything—if he felt the same, all he had to do was say the words and she'd go with him.
Yet, she didn't know for sure, but what she knew for a fact was that rejection and a goodbye on the same night would kill her, and she wasn't brave enough then to take her chances.
"Mr. Turner, we need to go." The voice of the bus driver interrupted them, making them separate with a sigh.
Their eyes were still close, foreheads pressed together and noses touching. They just didn't want to let go, they didn't want to start the course of distance after all that had happened in the past forty eight hours.
Alex sighed heavily, his eyes still closed as he muttered softly, "Fucking hate this."
Ella let a sad smile softly break on her face and she was about to say that she hated it too when Jamie walked out of the bus and informed Alex, "Mate, Steve is calling."
The sole mention of their tour manager, who had already been fuming in the groupchat when he learned that they were still not on the road, had Ella opening her eyes and tentatively pulling away from him. She whispered a simple, "Go." that broke her own heart.
Alex's eyes fluttered open and he brushed a strand of her behind her ear before teasing her delicately, "Thought you didn't want me to."
She couldn't find it in herself to sound playful, not when her chest felt like it was sinking into itself. "Don't wanna get you in trouble."
He shook his head, disapproving of her words. His thumb brushed her bottom lip before he corrected her, "No one I'd rather get me in trouble."
It made her want to scream at him, how smooth he was and how much harder he made it for her to say goodbye. If she only knew Alex was feeling the same, standing there teary eyed and pouting, begging him to stay and he was so close to actually telling everyone else to fuck off just to make her wishes come true. But she was so selfless, putting everyone first and it was devastating. He truly adored her.
One more kiss was shared, since they knew it'd be the last one until the next time they'd see each other again—and then it'd be a chance of will they, won't they since they were biting their tongues when it came to their feelings for each other. This kiss was similar to the previous one, but instead of feeling blue and their hearts breaking in their chests, it felt like a silent promise of a future to this, whatever it was so far.
"I'll see you soon, darling." Alex said sweetly when they parted.
She nodded, sniffling once more when more tears blurred her vision. "If you can have it even sooner, please do, sweets."
"Promise." Alex muttered, leaning in for another kiss. One last kiss. He needed one more, it felt like the last one hadn't been enough.
But it would have to be, because once more Jamie interrupted with an impatient, "Alex, mate." since Steve was blowing everyone's phones up with messages and calls.
Ella flinched when Alex yelled, "I'm fucking coming, fucking hell!" back in frustration.
He knew he'd have to apologize for that in a few minutes, Jamie not being the one to blame for the situation, but he couldn't not stay calm when he was being rushed through something so difficult. He frowned deeply, sure that if they were to be late the fans wouldn't have an issue waiting an hour or two more for the gig to start.
Before he could come back from his frustrated train of thought, he felt Ella's soft lips pressing a kiss in between his brows, instantly making his frown disappear and his expression to soften.
Devastating, that's what this all was. His heart hurt when he said, "Love you, darling." as a goodbye. Internally screaming out for her to understand that he meant it for real, with all of him in the way that his heart belonged to her and only her, that he was forever at her disposal.
All the while, her chest caved in when hearing those words and reciprocating wholeheartedly with a "Love you, sweets." that she prayed he would understand the real meaning to. That she'd be hers if he'd just ask, that she was willing to drop it all if he wanted her to be by his side until the end of times.
They both were so worried about trying to get the meaning behind their words across that they couldn't concentrate in reading each other's faces, because it was written so clearly on them and if they would just stop giving into their fears and waiting for the perfect moment, they'd already be enjoying each other in the way they'd been craving for so long.
Watching him walk up to the bus broke Ella's heart in a million little pieces. And when he turned around before stepping inside the vehicle, waving at her and blowing her a kiss, she felt all the tears she'd been holding back running down her cheeks.
She waved back at him with her free hand, and when she realized she still had his cowboy hat in hand, she put it on and blew him a kiss.
His. She was already completely his.
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Ella had cried herself to sleep that night. And that had done nothing but worsen her hangover when she awoke to rush to the toilet at around ten in the morning.
She felt like utter shit as she threw up all of the alcohol she'd consumed the previous night, her throat aching by the time she felt like she was done, tears streaming down her cheeks from the force of it.
After brushing her teeth, she clumsily made it back to her bed and fell asleep once again.
It wasn't until she woke up again around four in the afternoon that every emotion she'd felt the previous night came back to her as if her soul had come back to her body.
That uncomfortable weight on her chest came back and the knot that formed on her throat was quick to block her breathing so her despair quickly turned into a panic attack that had her sobbing and gasping for air messily.
All of it dawned on her all over again. How in love she was with Alex, how fucking unfair it was to see him go again, knowing he'd be moving to Los Angeles soon but not knowing exactly when to know for sure what to do next. The fact that the tour was meant to continue until the end of the year made her even more unconsolable.
Ella had no idea what she'd done until her phone rang one last time in her ear and then Breana's voice rang through the speaker, "Good morning, missy. Sleep well?"
The model's tone was playful, like she was planning on teasing Ella from the get go, but a sob ripped through Ella's chest as she tried to say, "Bre–" and that was enough for Breana's smirk to completely fall.
She froze in her spot for a second, right by the catering table inside the Monkeys' greenroom, but when Ella's cries continued in a heart wrenching manner, Breana scrambled to leave the room, "What's wrong Ellie?"
It took Ella a few deep breaths before she could quiet her cries down enough to properly talk, "I can't do this– This is so fucking exhausting."
Bre quickly dashed through the venue's hallways until she made it out back. Her brows furrowed and her heart sank when hearing the pain behind her words, "What happened?"
A heavy sigh came first and then, a notion everyone had been waiting for Ella to come to terms with, "Bre, I think I'm– I'm in love with him." Breana couldn't stop the soft smile breaking on her face when hearing that, and it only got bigger when Ella got more intently about it by reiterating, "I am."
There wasn't a chance for her best friend to reply with anything, because Ella's desperate words came out of her quickly, "Oh fuck, I'm so in love with him and now he's gone and I can't stop thinking about him."
The sobs that were coming from Ella's end of the call were making Breana want to cry, so she pleaded with her best friend, "Ella, breathe please."
"Why is it always like this?!" Ella asked out to no one in particular, ignoring Breana's request because so much was going through her mind that she just couldn't keep in anymore. "Why does it always have to be so complicated?"
Breana brushed her hair off her face stressfully, trying to find the best way to get Ella to stop overthinking, because that's what she was starting to do already.
"But it's not Ellie." Breana wholeheartedly refuted her, "Yesterday– God, you two were stuck to each other." And that was an understatement. "He really likes you, there's not a doubt in my mind that he does."
Ella had been remembering more and more of the party the more she thought about it after she woke up and everything she recalled happening with Alex brought her so much hope that she'd grown horrendously terrified of it all being a product of being under the influence. "We were so drunk Bre, what if it was just that?"
"But it isn't!" The conviction in Bre's words relieved Ella but also made her stomach flip with anxiety, "After all this time Ellie, do you really think he's not been pining after you?"
The silence that filled the call was loud when Ella couldn't answer the question.
Breana sighed, understanding why Ella was so wary about really giving it all a meaning, she didn't want to get rejected; but how could she when it was so obvious. So she painted the picture for her best friend, "It all adds up, and if anything, last night was the confirmation. Just think about it: you were kissing like horny teenagers, dancing and grinding on each other, his hands were never off you and you always had some hold on him too, giggling like idiots." A scoff of disbelief came from the model before she added, "You were stuck to each other the entirety of Sunday, so much so that Lily and Jayne asked multiple times if you were together and just hiding it."
Ella was speechless, hearing it like that felt like a huge eye opening moment. But Bre wasn't done, she continued with full faith on her own words, "I'm telling you, there's no way that this isn't it, Ellie."
Okay, Ella thought, if this is it, then what comes next? She was desperate to find an answer to that, "What do I fucking do then?"
"Tell him!" Breana replied in a split second, it was beyond obvious.
Yet, it didn't fit in Ella's brain how that could work when Alex was away. She refused to do anything about it if it was this way. "But I don't wanna do that through text, much less through a video call."
It was Bre's time to stay quiet, a few beats of silence passing before she hummed, "Yeah, I get that..."
Ella fiddled with her duvet, pulling on a loose string at the edge of it as she shared the piece of information that he'd confided in her and she had no clue if he'd shared with the rest of the group yet. "He's moving to LA. Has he told y'all yet?"
The model's brows shot up in slight surprise when hearing Ella already knew. Alex had only just told them all because the estate agent that she and Matt had worked with to get their house in April had contacted the drummer to ask Alex to give her an urgent call back since the singer wasn't answering his phone.
"He told us this morning."
"Fuck... I– I don't know what to do. When is it right? How do I even–?" Ella stumbled in her words, a new thought appearing on the forefront of her mind before she could finish the previous one, the cries that kept escaping her lips only making it harder to speak.
Breana smiled to herself, wishing she could be with Ella just to give her a hug and promise her it was all going to work out for her. "Ellie, babe, let's just focus on the good news here okay? He likes you, he really fucking does and that's enough for you to stop crying right now, okay?"
"Okay." Ella replied. Inhaling and exhaling steadily to calm herself down but when that pang of hurt pierced through her chest when she thought about how far away they all were, Ella gasped, "Oh god, Bre."
A chuckle escaped Breana's lips, she was still shocked it was the day that Ella finally said it out loud. "I know babe, I know."
"I'm in love with Alex." Ella whispered like it was the most insane secret to be uttered, like she had to keep it very quiet just in case. "What the fuck?" She mumbled to herself, a hand coming over her mouth to hide the way her jaw hung open at her own shock.
"Took you long enough to realize." Bre scolded her like a little kid.
And to that Ella scoffed, "What does that mean?"
"Means you've been in denial for far too long. Please let yourself be happy this time. Don't overthink it, it'll be fine." If she kept trying to think too much into it, expecting the worst possible outcome, it would only cause her pain that she could spare herself if she was logical about it. So Bre had to be Ella's logic for now, "He's coming back to LA soon, he said the house would be his next week or something like that. You'll have your opportunity then, okay?"
The thought of it all happening so soon broke her down again, a weak broken, "Okay." coming from her side in response.
Bre's chest ached for her best friend, she needed her to stop crying. "Just breathe Ellie, please."
She heard Ella hum before she started inhaling and exhaling again until she calmed down and when the model heard a few sighs that sounded settled enough, she made sure to ask, "You feeling a bit better?"
"Yeah." Ella said, easier this time. It'll be alright. He likes me, and I'll tell him soon, she kept repeating to herself like a new mantra.
"Okay good. Now I gotta get back before Alex starts asking if something is wrong with you, but text me if anything, okay?" Breana had seen the singer whip his head around when she'd rushed out of the room and she'd hurriedly asked Ella if she was okay. She knew that she'd walk back into the greenroom and he'd be the first to ask if something had happened with Ella.
Another hum of confirmation came from Ella and Bre hoped that didn't mean she was still crying. With a heavy sigh, Bre bid her farewell sweetly, "I love you Ellie, it'll all be fine okay?"
Ella was so much calmer then, and she didn't know how to even properly thank her best friend. She got emotional all over again when she replied, "Love you too Bre. Thank you, you're the best."
"I know." Breana cheekily replied, making Ella snort out in laughter—that was enough to make her feel accomplished all over again. "Love you babe, bye!" Bre exclaimed as she walked back inside the venue backstage area.
"Bye! Love you!" Ella reciprocated, pressing the red button right after and staring at the ceiling with her hope restored.
It'll be alright, it'll all work out.
Those words kept echoing inside her brain as she replayed the events of the previous night.
Every laugh, every touch, every kiss, all of it.
It kept playing on loop, her brain fixating on some moments more than others like when he had her pressed against the wall, hand around her throat and his leg slotted between hers, grabbing her ass to guide her into getting herself off on his thigh.
Fuck.
She hadn't meant to get all flustered when recalling it all, but her body quickly got hot at the memories. It was as if it remembered the many times her pleasure had been spiking only to plummet down when they were rudely interrupted.
That was why it had been so easy to let her hands roam around her body beneath the sheets, letting her eyes flutter close and imagine it was Alex instead, touching and pinching and pulling and scratching. That it was Alex pushing his fingers into her mouth, wetting them to finally touch her clit, circling it nicely and getting her all wet and ready for his fingers to mercilessly stretch her out how he wanted. Fitting two, three, four fingers in her and making her cry out in pleasure at the sting, scissoring his fingers inside her to get her ready for his cock. But not before curling his fingers perfectly to hit that sweet spot inside her that made her toes curl and having her cum all over his hand before he could sink all the way inside her.
Her orgasm hit her with force, sending her into a blacked out state. Her brain was fuzzy and her ears felt like they'd been filled with cotton after she came, her fingers cramping after she'd had a white knuckle grip on her bed sheets when she fell over the edge.
She was sweating, chest heaving and her mouth was dry. She needed a shower, some water and food. But mostly, him.
Ella had never had him but after feeling him so well through his jeans the night before, her mouth watered and her cunt throbbed to properly feel him for the first time.
She groaned in frustration as she walked into her bathroom. She needed to stop those thoughts before she made herself cum again, only to once again be disappointed it wasn't him who had done it when her eyes peeled open.
So Ella focused on making herself feel like a person again: taking a long hot shower that soothed her muscles and felt like a reset, changing into some comfortable clothes—having to put a hoodie over mostly because Alex had left a few love bites on her neck that she couldn't have her parents seeing if she wanted to avoid questions—and going downstairs to have some food and something to drink.
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(17/06/2014 19:37) Wish you were here with us. I really loved Manchester, don't think anywhere else will ever compare. Think I discovered a new side to you and it all just makes perfect sense. Can't wait to see you, darling. Soon, I promise. Love you xxxxx
Ella's stomach fluttered when she woke up and unlocked her phone to that text. She kicked herself mentally for missing it entirely the previous day—she'd gone downstairs after showering and she'd found her parents in the living room watching a movie, one that they paused and ended up discarding completely when they caught Ella going to the kitchen to have something to eat and started asking her all about her long weekend.
Her loopy grin had been impossible to hide as she recounted her four days spent on the festival, how it had been seeing the lads playing there and having them over at home. She eagerly recounted going to see the horses and taking them to the river, taking a few pictures and teaching Katie, Matt and Alex how to ride a horse properly.
Her mom had the biggest smirk when she asked about the party though, and it made Ella blush. Ella wasn't as open about her dating life with her parents as Lily was, usually waiting to speak about anyone she'd been seeing until it got a bit more serious—Grace didn't know a thing about what had happened back in 2012 with Alex until after Julian had broken Ella's heart; when she'd come home after that, she'd let it all out to her and Lily and it truly was a roller coaster of emotions because when the story time started, they hated Alex but by the end of it, they warmed up to him all over again after learning how he'd been taking care of Ella.
But Ella knew that look on her mom's face meant something else so she'd sighed and openly asked her, "You wanna know about Alex, don't you?" Her parents' eager nodding was enough of an answer for her to come clean about it all to them.
It had gone way better than she thought, a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders as she went on and on about how sweet he was, how thoughtful and caring. She had stuttered through the recalling of them kissing at the party, omitting the non-PG details of their night, and getting a bit worked up when telling them about the moment they had to say goodbye.
Grace had been cooing audibly all throughout, Parker laughing a bit when seeing Ella recoiling into herself when she got embarrassed about her mom's reactions.
"You two are adorable." Grace smiled sweetly at her daughter, her heart swelling in her chest out of pure joy to see Ella so happy with Alex.
Parker nodded, agreeing with his wife, but he needed to ask the one thing they'd been wondering all along, "So are y'all together then?"
They watched as Ella's face fell, her features covering up with sadness at the simple question. Except it wasn't simple at all, not the debate within herself, nor the circumstances they found themselves in.
"No. No, we're not." She mumbled, pulling the sleeves of her hoodie to cover her hands and fiddling with them while she got the courage to say loudly to someone else than Breana. "I'm in love with him. Really am, but it's complicated."
Her parents frowned, not really understanding how it could be complicated, "Complicated?" Parker asked, he was entirely sure Alex liked Ella, there was no denying when the singer looked at Ella the way he did.
They watched as she took a shaky breath, her gaze falling to her lap as she tried not to get upset about it again. The ache in her chest was impossible to ignore though, and crying about it seemed like the only way to cope with it.
"Well he's still on tour and we barely see each other, and I don't wanna tell him through the phone." She sniffled when a few tears rolled down her cheeks. Her parents grabbed one of her hands each and she looked up at them, teary eyed but with a thankful smile. "He's moving to LA and I– I don't know exactly when, but I know that I'm telling him once I know he's there and staying. Maybe after the tour ends at the end of the year. I don't know how I would be able to cope with a long distance relationship if I told him before."
Grace offered her daughter an understanding side smile, but she had to disagree with Ella's plans, "I think you should tell him honey. Through the phone or even if you just get to see him once and he has to go. You can't keep hurting yourself by staying silent because you're scared of distance." She shook her head because the thought of her daughter crying daily because of the guy she loved being far away hurt her tremendously. "You can't say you're not gonna be able to make a long distance relationship work when true love can work through it all."
Ella frowned, her tears rapidly rolling down her cheeks then, "'That's so cliche, mom."
"But it's true! Love finds a way, honey." Grace squeezed Ella's hand, as if that helped make her words more real. "And distance makes the heart grow fonder, so it would only make it better when you two see each other again, if you know what I mean." Grace joked with a smirk and wiggling her brows.
It made Ella chuckle, which turned into a cackle when Parker audibly complained and gagged about the lewd insinuation. But the director wasn't sure her mom was understanding the situation, "I'm not even sure if he likes me like that, mom. I– Bre says he does or else he wouldn't have acted the way he did last night but what if it was just the drinks? I mean I hope it wasn't just that but I can't get my hopes up like that, I would be broken if he doesn't feel the same."
Ella's dad stared at her with an amused smile on his face, which Ella scowled at and asked, "What? What's funny?"
Parker shrugged, "That you think he doesn't like you back, or love you for that matter." He sighed and Ella was about to open her mouth to say something but he lifted his finger up and tutted. "No, hold on." He took a few seconds to put his thoughts in order before he spoke, "Have you seen the way he looks at you? Not to add the way he always keeps you close, which made me want to pull him aside and ask him a few things many times. Us and your sister had been wondering all day long if you two were together and just hiding it 'cause you didn't want your old man bothering your boyfriend—you didn't like it when I threatened that other stupid boy back when you brought him home so..."
Ella went to speak again, but her dad wasn't done. "And then, Lily tells us you were even worse the day before at the festival? I mean, we were expecting you to pull us aside and quickly tell us you two were dating before going to that party." Parker shook his head, his confidence in his words was unwavering, "There's no doubt in my mind that he feels the same. You just need to tell him and spare yourself the tears, sweetie. Breaks my heart seeing you cry like this but you need to do it if he's not gonna do it first."
Hearing Bre's words had helped her slightly but it all resonated louder when it came from her parents.
"D'you really think so?" She asked shyly, needing some more confirmation.
Her parents nodded in sync, but it was her dad who spoke, "I don't think so. I'm sure hun."
After that, a smile stayed on Ella's face until she went back to her room. She'd taken her hoodie off before getting in bed, and when her gaze fell on the couple of bruises Alex had left on her neck, she giggled like a schoolgirl before throwing herself on her bed and sighing when thinking of him until she fell asleep.
With quick fingers, she texted him back as soon as she'd seen the text the following morning. Butterflies fluttered uncontrollably in her stomach as she went over his message once again before sending her reply.
(18/06/2014 10:03) Miss you so much sweets. My heart is full hearing you loved it here and I'm glad it makes sense, this place is all of me, my soul really. Oh I can't wait to have you back in LA!! Let me know how everything with the house goes, okay? Love you more xxxxx
She felt like a Disney princess as she got out of bed, opening her window to hear the birds chirping outside and humming a soft tune as she got ready for the day.
She was planning on spending the day helping around with the stable and the horses, maybe cutting the grass with her dad or helping her mom clean the house before she had to go to the airport around seven in the evening. Her flight was leaving from Nashville, so her parents would have to drive her over to the city and it was around an hour long drive—it was gonna be a very long hectic day.
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By the time she had finished cleaning around the stable, after taking Birdie out for a lengthy stroll, the clock was painfully nearing three in the afternoon so she knew she had to rush inside, have some lunch, quickly finish packing her case, tidy up her childhood room and get ready for the airport.
She looked crazy going around tossing her things into her open case in just a towel with her wet hair dripping all over her wooden floor. She tried her best to multitask, eating a sandwich she'd made herself as she blow dried her hair and picked up the mess of makeup she'd left atop of her dresser.
Thankfully her efforts to hurry up paid off and she was in the backseat of her dad's truck about a bit over two hours before her flight.
She got there with an hour and a half to spare before her flight was meant to leave and she was so glad to see that there weren't big lines around the place so she could go through quickly and be at her gate with enough time to spare to get some food before boarding.
As always, hugging her parents goodbye was horrendously sad. It reminded her of the first time she'd left them to go to university and though she thought it would get easier with time, it never did.
She'd been crying even as she ordered herself a McDonalds meal before heading to her gate, the wave of emotions she'd felt for the past week making her pathetically cry as she ate her burger and fries.
But once the plane took off and she watched the city of Nashville getting smaller and smaller beneath them, she took the time to go back through the memories she'd made and she felt so warm and fuzzy inside at the collection of moments she was privileged enough to have stuck in her brain forever.
Going back to LA got her excited all over again, eager for what could happen if Alex closed the sale sooner than she was expecting, especially now that she had her parents' words echoing inside her mind which only helped her grow the courage to tell him.
She knew then, she wouldn't do it through text or through a call but if he closed the sale before the end of the month like he had said then he'd be coming to Los Angeles to sign and get his keys and she knew that it would be her perfect opportunity.
Her eyes fluttered closed, letting the feeling of being in the air back to her second home lull her to sleep.
It'll all be alright, it'll all work out.
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Around three in the morning Ella landed in LAX. Being back in the city made her smile, she really couldn't describe how it felt to be back there—it was like being twenty, hopeful and constantly daydreaming all over again.
When she was waiting for her suitcase to come rolling around at baggage claim, she checked her phone and her heart grew in size when she saw a new message from Alex.
(18/06/2014 23:51) Miss you so much more darling. I'll be back very soon, I think the sale closes next week, but I'll let you know for sure as soon as I find out. And that's impossible, I love you lots and lots and lots xxxxxx
Ella threw her head back, biting her tongue not to giggle like an idiot, but she looked pathetic enough smiling like a fool up at the ceiling of the airport.
She loved him so fucking much and it was starting to seem clear that maybe he did too. And the notion made her so incredibly giddy.
So much so that it didn't matter that she'd gotten back home at half past four in the morning and she'd showered and gone to sleep for barely five hours. She didn't care that she'd had to scramble to get ready to go to work, and she smiled brightly at everyone who greeted her when she arrived at the office.
She'd let herself freely blush when Ben came to her office to ask about how it'd gone and teased her about Alex for most of the time. The director had even managed to get out of her that she did like the singer, and she'd let out a bubbly laugh when he'd exclaimed he knew it all along.
But her elated mood had plummeted down when she opened up her Twitter app as she had lunch in her office.
She'd choked on the bite of chicken she'd taken when she saw a bunch of people sharing an article about Alex and Alex, who had apparently been paparazzied in New York just that morning.
Of course, Ella's curiosity got the best of her and she clicked on the article. How she wished she hadn't made that mistake, how she wished she hadn't followed a bunch of Arctic Monkeys related accounts on Twitter so that stupid article hadn't shown on her timeline to begin with.
She was trying her best not to loudly sob in her office, but still desperately trying to get ahold of Breana to let it all out because it really fucking hurt—she was the one who knew about her feelings for Alex, the only one she could tell this to at least.
The second Breana picked up, Ella whimpered, not even trying to hide that she was upset, "I'm so fucking stupid Bre."
"What happened?" The model sounded panicked.
"Why did I have to go and fall in love with a fucking famous musician when I'm just another boring, normal girl?!" She frowned in frustration, aware she sounded like a child but she just felt insignificant.
Bre frowned, entirely confused by her words, "Okay first off, you're not a boring normal girl. And second, what's happening woman?! I'm so confused over here."
"This fucking article." Ella sobbed, muffling her cries with her hand. She breathed deeply a few times to calm down before she could explain, "Alex and Alexa were photographed together in New York earlier today, and they're saying how there's been rumors about them 'rekindling their relationship' ever since Jamie and Katie's wedding."
This was news to the model, she hadn't heard shit about anything happening between Alex and Alexa and she literally was part of the lads' close circle so to her those rumors sounded like utter bullshit to her. "Ella, it could be nothing. You know how the tabloids are."
But Ella had been on the phone to Alex when Alexa had appeared outside, bumping into him. And it had been entirely fine then, she was mostly sad she hadn't been able to be there but this article made her mind start spinning; especially since her very own name was written in it. "They mention me, Bre. And they make it sound like I'm just... a nobody." She took a deep breath, willing herself not to cry as she read out loud what it said, "It goes: 'Another mysterious woman had been linked to the rockstar not that long ago. Around the time the band headlined Glastonbury for a second time, a few fans managed to bump into the pair in the streets of Manchester and Turner's native Sheffield, and caught that her name was Ella.'"
Bre's face fell as she heard all that, afraid for her best friend's privacy having been breached just for the tabloids to chat wank, "Oh shit."
But Ella got hurt all over again when she glanced at what came next, "No wait, it gets fucking worse." Clearing her throat, her words came filled with anger as she read them to Breana, "'After a bit of research, the identity of the woman was revealed to be Eleanor Hayes, one of the directors of the latest AM music video and the one credited to be behind the camera in the upcoming documentary of the recording of the Monkeys' fifth studio album. She's also been credited as a PA for many of the Arctic Monkeys' previous music videos and the photographer to capture a bunch of our favorite pictures of the band. It is unsure if there was ever anything between the singer and the director, but all we can say is that you definitely don't hold hands with just a work acquaintance nor do you take her out to the pub and a game of footy with your dad. But any intrigue that was still lingering when it came to the pair has been thrown out the window now that we have seen these pictures of the iconic couple in the streets of New York. It feels refreshing to see things go back to how they were and what better news to wake up to than Alex and Alexa finding their way to each other. Maybe that engagement will work out this time around? We just hope we get a spot in the guest list!'"
When the director read that last sentence, her voice broke and she barely managed to finish reading the ending of the dreadful piece. Bre felt her chest getting heavy for her, only being able to let out a soft, "Ella..." as she tried to look for words to console her.
"I feel sick." She'd pushed her food away after reading the article for the first time. The mention of a previous engagement made her blood run cold and the tears had started falling instantly.
Yet, Bre was entirely sure it was purely a situation where the media was just trying to get clicks. She didn't even know he'd seen Alexa in New York and they were already in Delaware to play a festival. "Don't pay that attention. It's bullshit."
"But what if it's not?" Ella whispered in desperation. Every bit of hope she'd had, had dissipated like smoke in the wind. Was there even a point if there was a window open for him and Alexa? I mean, in her head the decision wasn't hard: the model, fashion guru, it girl, internet sensation, tv host Alexa Chung; and then there was her, just another director and photographer that lived in the city of angels. The city was littered with more hers, he could find another her without any effort, but there wasn't really another Alexa Chung.
Ella just wanted to disappear and never come back. She felt pathetic and embarrassed to even think she had a chance in the first place. It pained her having to have Alex be one of those people she fell for but nothing happened, one that would forever haunt her what-ifs, and it would be easier to completely push herself aside but it would hurt so much more to lose him.
Fuck!!! Her head was going to explode.
"He hasn't said anything about Alexa all day babe. I promise you." Bre swore through the phone, because she and the guys had been chatting the whole way there and the name of his ex had never been brought up.
Ella wasn't looking at the positives of that statement though, all that it meant to her then is that he was keeping a secret, and that just made it so much worse. "But–"
"No. No buts." Breana wasn't going to allow Ella to belittle herself and throw herself down a rabbit hole that would just make her cry even more and break her own heart in the process, "Nothing's happening between them." She easily said, because she was completely sure of it and the model prayed that the words resonated with the same conviction inside Ella's head. But just in case it didn't, she needed to put forward some solid proof, "Do you think he would've been like that with you in Tennessee if there was anything going on between them?"
No! her subconscious said, he wouldn't have!! But she wasn't sure what to believe or think anymore, her head was a mess. "I don't– Fuck. I don't know. I don't know what to do."
She was starting to grow desperate, all the words she'd thought of telling him tickling her insides as if wanting to get out of her chest. Was there even something she could do?! She had no idea.
"Stop stressing." Breana said as she tried to find answers within her, but nothing to her knowledge could settle Ella down; all she could do was try to calm her down with her words.
Ella scoffed, "Yeah well, easier said than done, Bre."
"I know but–," Bre had no idea what to say, "It's gonna be alright Ellie, you'll see." She had a feeling, a hunch that this was nothing and that everything would work out for Ella soon. She frowned thinking back to the words of the article, "I didn't even see them talking at Cookie's wedding, what the fuck are they on about?"
"Oh well, I did." Ella chatted back exasperatedly, "Was on the phone to him and then she came up to him so I ended the call."
"Fuck." Bre muttered under her breath, entirely unaware of that.
A chuckle rid of any amusement came from Ella in response, "Yeah, fuck."
Ella sounded so deflated, a heavy tinge of pessimism that was uncharacteristic of her coating her words. Breana was used to Ella's overthinking and being superstitious, not being entirely cynical and nihilistic, "No. Stop. Nothing's happening there, I know it."
"Hmm." Ella hummed just purely to sound like she was listening, Bre's words slipping right through her ears.
"Do I need to remind you about the party?" Bre made an effort to make Ella see the facts again.
The sole mention of that night made Ella's heart heavy, "No, because I will cry again." Her warning had been too late because she immediately whimpered as tears started falling again at the flashing memory of them kissing, the passion with which he held her and touched her that she just didn't know what to make of anymore.
"No, Ella, don't cry." Breana begged with her voice dropping to a whisper full of pity.
Ella sobbed the quietest she could, dreading having someone hearing her, but despite her voice falling to a broken whisper, Breana's heart broke as if she had let out a heart wrenching scream, "I feel so pathetic."
"You're not. It's fine. I promise." She scrambled for another way to confirm that those rumors were just bullshit, hurriedly assuring Ella, "I'll ask Matt."
Sniffling and calming herself down with deep breaths, "Okay."
"But it's nothing, okay?" Breana said again, "You hear me?"
"Yeah." Ella let out with her voice wavering.
From afar, Bre watched as Alex and Matt walked towards her with amused frowns on their faces as she'd ran away from them the second her phone rang.
Faking a smile, she waved at them, only to turn around and quickly reiterate, "I love you. You're fine, it's all fine. It'll all be fine."
"Yeah. Love you." Ella replied quietly, as if she was working on automatic drive.
Out of the corner of her eye, Breana watched as her fiance started jogging towards her with a smirk on his face, looking as if he was planning on tackling her as a joke. "I gotta go but text me, okay? Don't be upset."
Ella hummed hearing Bre's hurried words, knowing it meant she was busy so she bit her tongue to not cry again.
"I love you!" Breana exclaimed before ending the call.
The truth was that Ella didn't want to be alone with her thoughts but unfortunately the world kept moving despite hers feeling like it had come to a full stop.
And now she had to swallow it all back and act like nothing was happening because Alex had technically done nothing wrong and if she wanted answers then she'd have to take her heart out and hand it to him and she really wasn't sure that that was something she wanted to do anymore.
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A/N: I hope you didn't think I was gonna give you a smooth ride by the end of this just because it's the last few chapters hehehehe. But I do hope you enjoyed this and you're welcome to yell at me all you want, I'll allow it lollll Still can't believe how long this chapter is but I know it'll take me a bit to come back with the next one so I'm glad I can leave you with a treat while the next chapter is in the works. Sending yous lots of love and I hope you have an amazing week, mwahh!!! xxxxx
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