#forever surprised and always grateful to have my writing remembered

[lecsainz]

my brother's friend

pairings: max verstappen x leclerc!reader

summary: the one where you're charles' sister and dating one of his friends, max.

authors note: I absolutely love writing smau!! sometimes I want to include all the ideas I have, but I'm afraid it will end up being tooooo longgggg

masterlist!

yn_leclerc

liked by leclerc_pascale, danielricciardo , and 250.786 others

yn_leclerc a little photo dump from this week, and let's pretend that I didn't spend this entire weekend with max away from the ferrari paddock 🤭

view all 3.264 comments

maxverstappen1 blue looks good on you 😍

yn_leclerc I know! 😘

lestappen these photos are the ultimate boyfriend material

redbullwins the best couple on the grid

arthur_leclerc traitor 😔

yn_leclerc who? arthur_leclerc you! yn_leclerc no, who asked you?

charles_leclerc what shirt is that, y/n?? it's horrifying, my eyes are bleeding

yn_leclerc your problem, not mine. 🫶

lorenzotl but to grab some food, you were there in the ferrari paddock

yn_leclerc lorenzo! shhhhhh lorenzotl I'm just stating the truth yn_leclerc red bull doesn't have italian food 😭 what could I do? arthur_leclerc spend the weekend with us

leclercmoves I'm loving this

riccnorris HER WEARING A RED BULL SHIRT

yn_leclerc

yn_leclerc always a ferrari girl, and no, my brothers didn't force me to post this 😁

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lercsainz xavi out!

liked by yn_leclerc and others

arthur_leclerc why isn't there a picture of me too?

yn_leclerc cause you're annoying arthur_leclerc seriously?! just yesterday you said I was your favorite sibling charles_leclerc everyone knows it's me! yn_leclerc actually, it's enzo

maxverstappen1 I missed seeing you in my motorhome

yn_leclerc christian said I'm not allowed in there wearing ferrari clothes, love maxverstappen1 oh he did? I think I'm going to have a little chat with the red bull team

sebredbull max activating the madmax mode

cl16 I miss seeing y/n in ferrari clothing

redbullracing am I the only one who thinks that the red bull blue is her color?

scuderiaferrari no way! the ferrari red is so much better landonorris I think orange is her color yn_leclerc never lando! you forced me to wear that hoodie and I looked so ugly danielricciardo I remember max almost having a heart attack seeing her in that hoodie pierregasly I thought lando would die that day 😅

yn_leclerc added to their story

maxverstappen1

maxverstappen1 look in my eyes, they will tell you the truth the girl in my story has always been you

tag: yn_leclerc

comments have been limited

yn_leclerc I love you so much 🤍

maxverstappen1 I love you too, mijn schat (my treasure)

yn_leclerc

liked by leclerc_pascale, danielricciardo , and 956.384 others

yn_leclerc life has been full of surprises lately and I couldn't be happier to announce that I said YES to forever with the love of my life! couldn't imagine my life without this incredible man by my side. love you, max! and that's not all... we have an extra little passenger on board! baby leclerc-verstappen coming soon! the joy and excitement we feel right now is indescribable we can't wait to welcome our little one into the world and create beautiful memories together as a family

tag: maxverstappen1

comments have been limited

maxverstappen1 I couldn't be more grateful and excited for this next chapter of our lives. y/n, you've made me the happiest man on earth. thank you for choosing me to be your partner in this incredible journey. I love you endlessly, schatje (sweetheart)

charles_leclerc wow, can't believe you're becoming a mom, y/n. you've always been my little sister! it's a beautiful journey you and max are on. wishing you all the love and happiness in this new chapter. I'm here to support you always! ❤️

arthur_leclerc congrats on the engagement and baby news, though! can't wait to become the coolest uncle ever. love you

charles_leclerc let's face it, I'm going to be the best uncle yn_leclerc I think enzo beats you guys lorenzotl I think so too charles_leclerc you think nothing. arthur_leclerc I'm going to be the best uncle, end of story yn_leclerc if you say so 🤭 arthur_leclerc Y/N! yn_leclerc I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING

lorenzotl congratulations, y/n and max! so happy for you both and excited to be an uncle. sending all the love and happiness your way

leclerc_pascale oh mon petit chou, je suis tellement fière de toi et de ta belle vie! congratulations on your engagement and the upcoming arrival of our little baby! you've truly found your happily ever after, and I couldn't be happier for you. sending all my love and blessings to you, max and our precious leclerc-verstappen baby. love, your adoring maman 💕(my little cabbage, I'm so proud of you and your beautiful life!)

maxverstappen1

liked by lewishamilton, schecoperez , and 1.572.105 others

maxverstappen1 words can't express the love and joy we feel as we hold our little one in our arms, from the moment we found out we were expecting the anticipation and excitement have been off the charts. now, seeing this tiny human who carries both our love and our dreams, it's a feeling like no other ❤️ to my beautiful fiancée, y/n, you continue to amaze me with your grace and resilience. seeing you bring our little racer into this world has filled my heart with an indescribable joy. I am beyond grateful for the incredible woman you are and I can't wait to continue this incredible journey together as a family

tag: yn_leclerc

view all 9.762 comments

yn_leclerc you've stolen my heart all over again with this heartfelt message, max. our little one is a true blessing, a beautiful reflection of our love and dreams. I'm endlessly grateful to be by your side, witnessing the incredible love and joy you bring as a father. I am so incredibly blessed to have you by my side on this beautiful journey ❤️

charles_leclerc I'm so happy for you both, and I can't wait for the day when the little one is old enough to choose ferrari as their favorite team!

maxverstappen1 definitely not! the baby will be rooting for redbull! charles_leclerc we'll see about that! 👀

alex_albon I think we all know who the obvious choice for the godfather is... me! I mean, have you seen my skills with the little ones? 😁

danielricciardo oh, come on, albon! we need someone with real charisma and charm to be the godfather. that's where I step in, mate. I'll bring the laughs, the smiles, and the epic shoey celebrations! carlossainz55 hold up! I'm the perfect candidate for the godfather gig. think about it - I'll bring the spanish flair, the fiestas, and the best paella you've ever tasted landonorris sorry guys, but it's clear that I'm the most qualified for this role. I'll be the cool, fun-loving godfather who introduces the kid to the world of gaming, memes, and, of course, helmet design maxverstappen1 alright, alright, boys. I hate to break it to you, but we've already made our decision, and none of you made the cut carlossainz55 WHAT?? danielricciardo we were friends, max and y/n 😭 landonorris who is better than me??? alex_albon I feel betrayed

verstlercs I'M SCREAMING, CRYING, AND FREAKING OUT

f1number1 leclerc-verstappen family, something nobody saw coming

scuderiaferrari oh, we all know this little one is destined to be a future ferrari driver! welcome to the scuderia, baby leclerc-verstappen!

redbullracing this little racer is definitely going to join the red bull family and experience the thrill of flying on the track! get ready for some high-speed action! scuderiaferrari dream on, red bull! our legacy and history speak for themselves. this baby will be rocking the prancing horse on their chest, just like their talented uncles! redbullracing talent? speed? innovation? that's what red bull stands for! This little champion will be tearing up the circuits in our car, guaranteed! charles_leclerc can I place my bet? I say the baby will race for ferrari, just like their dear old uncle charles! maxverstappen1 sorry, bro! the baby will follow in their old man's footsteps and race for red bull. it's in their blood!

#f1 fic #f1 x reader #f1 fics #formula 1 x reader #f1 x y/n #max verstappen fluff #max verstappen x oc #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen #max verstappen smau #max verstappen au #max verstappen x you #max verstappen fic #charles leclerc x oc #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc smau #charles leclerc au #f1 x you #f1 smau #f1 au #f1 one shot #f1 imagine

[mimsynims]

Fool For Love

part 5

~~~

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4

~~~

Author’s Note: This is becoming longer than expected, but I’m grateful for everyone staying on for the ride.

(Btw. When I’m writing, I’m imagining this with my own Tav, but I’ve been trying to keep it GN.)

~~~

Astarion x reader/Tav

Tags: (mild?) angst, pining, pining while fucking, jealousy, eventual happy ending

Summary: You thought you knew what you were doing when you let Astarion into your bed. He doesn’t have feelings for you, and vice versa. Only… now you do.

You’ve finally made a decision on how to handle it, but it turns out it might not be that easy to actually do as planned.

And then you go and make it even worse.

~~~

“Tav, wake up.” A hand on your shoulder tries to gently rouse you awake. “Tav, come on. It’s time to go.”

“Nooo, just let me sleep.” You were having such a nice dream. The details are a bit fuzzy, but you remember a body on top of you. Lips, hands, teeth. Warmth.

“You go on ahead, I will make sure our fearsome leader gets back to camp in one piece.”

Astarion. That fucker. He’s the reason why you are like this. Still half-asleep, still half-drunk. “No, not you.”

Someone — Karlach? — mumbles something.

“Go.” Astarion again. “I’ve got this.”

Perhaps if you ignore him, he’ll go away.

“Tav, darling, get up.”

The nerve. “Don’t call me that.”

“Stop acting like a baby and I will consider it.”

That has you finally opening your eyes and sitting up. “I can get back on my own.” In a bit, anyway.

“Perhaps.” Astarion steps up to you and holds out a hand. You can’t see his smug smile in the darkness, but you have no trouble imagining it. “Not sure we should risk it though.”

Just as you take his hand, it dawns on you that you finally have him alone. It’s just you and him, with nothing to interrupt your conversation.

Except you’re far from sober and in a bloody awful mood, to boot.

Feeling his fingers grasping yours, the arousal sparked by the dream stirs awake again. For a few heartbeats, you do nothing but stare at this beautiful man, this wonderful, enraging man.

Everything that has been bubbling inside you comes to a head, overwhelming you until the only thing you can do is tug him closer.

“Kiss me?” You know you’re doing it again, distracting yourself, but you’re feeling too much and the only thing that can make your mind go blissfully blank is him.

“Tav, darling.”

“Please.”

“I never could say no to you…”

There’s a strange note of exasperation in his voice, but you have no time to reflect on it when Astarion gets down on his knees and cups your face oh-so-gently. The kiss is unexpectedly fierce, matching the turmoil inside you.

“Astarion, I…” You dive back in before you say something foolish.

Sex with Astarion has never been boring, but there’s a new level of recklessness to it as you both tear at your clothes and give yourself to each other. You will probably have a bruise or two tomorrow — as will he — but it’s exactly what you need; it’s as if he knows what you crave even though you can’t voice it out loud. A part of you mourns that this doesn’t mean as much to him as it does to you — that you don’t mean as much to him as he does to you. Even as you scream his name in pleasure, sadness lingers in the outskirts of your mind, tainting the satisfaction and exhilaration.

The moon and the stars watch over you as Astarion drags you into his arms, both panting from exhaustion after your mutual climax. Burying your face in the crook of his neck, you revel in the feeling of intimacy, lying like this.

Inhaling, you take comfort in the scents you’ll forever associate with him: bergamot, rosemary, brandy. Blood. It’s faint, but it’s there, beneath his perfume.

You go still. Blood. He didn’t bite you. Even if he doesn’t always drink from you, he always bites you during sex.

But not this time. Why? Whatever the reason, it makes you feel rejected. Not good enough.

Perhaps he only slept with you out of pity.

“I must say I am pleasantly surprised, Tav,” Astarion purrs. “For a moment there, I thought you were going to invite Gale to your tent.”

“Perhaps I was.” It’s a lie, one you will have to make sure doesn’t reach Gale’s ears. You should take it back, but you’re hurting too much to be sensible. “Still could.”

“Him?”

“He’s a nice man.” Too nice for you. “And if he could bag a god, he’s probably good in bed too.”

Astarion sits up to stare at you. “You must be joking.”

“Why?” You feel cold, naked, and not just physically. Reaching for your clothes, you turn your back to him and try to put them on. Easier said than done. “We haven’t made any promises to each other.”

Astarion rises too and places his hands on his hips, unbothered by his state of undress. “I know, but–”

“I’ve seen you, with the others. I know. And it’s fine.” Even in the darkness, it’s difficult to face him, but you force yourself to do so. To stand your ground while you do this. “At least it was fine.”

“You are not making any sense, Tav.”

You’re too worked up to notice the note of desperation in his voice. “I saw you tonight, with the others, and I realised I’ve had enough.” This wasn’t how it was supposed to go, but you can’t stop yourself now. “We should end this.”

“What? Why?”

You ignore his obvious confusion. “I know you only propositioned me to make sure you’d be under my protection.”

“I–” Astarion sounds taken aback. “Yes, that’s true, I guess, but listen, Tav–”

“Don’t worry, for as long as you stay with us, I’ll never let anyone harm you.”

“So that’s it?”

He sounds hurt, but it’s most likely just his wounded pride. “I’m sure you can find comfort in the arms of Halsin or Shadowheart.” Or both.

“As you will with Rath and Gale, you mean?”

The bitterness has you frowning. He has no right because as you said, neither of you made any promises. “Maybe, maybe not. That’s none of your business, is it?”

You wish you could see his face more clearly, but it’s probably for the best that the night hides his expression. The silence feels heavy as you wait for several pounding heartbeats for his reply. A wildly optimistic part of you hopes that he will object, that he will tell you how wrong you are.

When he finally speaks, it’s nothing more than a whisper. “I guess not.” Without another word, he grabs his scattered clothes, tucks them under his arm and walks away, leaving you behind in the smothering darkness.

~~~

#astarion #astarion ancunin #astarion x reader #astarion x tav #bg3 fanfiction #bg3 fic #bg3 tav #bg3 astarion #bg3 spoilers #fic wip

[ecoamerica]

Watch the 2024 American Climate Leadership Awards for High School Students now: https://youtu.be/5C-bb9PoRLc

The recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by student climate leaders! Join Aishah-Nyeta Brown & Jerome Foster II and be inspired by student climate leaders as we recognize the High School Student finalists. Watch now to find out which student received the $25,000 grand prize and top recognition!

#ACLA24 #ACLA24HighSchoolStudents #youtube #youtube video #climate leaders #climate solutions #climate action #climate and environment #climate #climate change #climate and health #climate blog #climate justice #climate news #weather and climate #environmental news #environment #environmental awareness #environment and health #environmental #environmental issues #environmental education #environmental justice #environmental protection #environmental health #high school students #high school #youth #youth of america #school

[agentstarkid]

SZÍVEM ✦ DR3

"In the symphony of emotions, "Szívem" resonates as a melody of love and tenderness. This Hungarian term translates to "(you are) my heart" in English and carries a depth of emotion within the context of love. Beyond a mere anatomical reference, "szívem" embodies a profound and sentimental connection. It's a tender expression, encapsulating the heart's vulnerability and openness in love. When someone refers to another as "szívem," it reflects an intimate bond, signifying that their heart beats in unison with the other. It signifies a poetic intertwining of hearts, acknowledging that love is not just a fleeting emotion but a permanent residence within one's very essence. In the language of love, "szívem" conveys a sentiment that goes beyond words, expressing a deep, intrinsic connection and an acknowledgment of shared emotions at the core of a meaningful relationship."

✦ pairing: daniel ricciardo x famous!latina!reader

✦ type: social media au

✦ fc: becky g

✦ warnings: female!reader, fluff, mentions of sexual acts, age gap, language, internet meanies, horniness lol.

✦ pit wall live: Holii loves! I'm so sorry for the wait but so much has happened since I posted chapter 3, the main problem was that my laptop's battery died and I had to buy a new one and that took me weeks 😢 but I came back with a new ace up my sleeve...I KNOW HOW TO MAKE GIFS NOW!!! 🤩 (well, kind of lol). Also, I'd like to give a massive shoutout to Tally (@onceuponaoneshotfanfic) for being my personal English-er and always being an angel, letting me bounce on her all my ideas and all my constant ramblings 😝💖 — go and check out her fics, they are masterpieces! PLEASE don't forget to feed this fic monster with reblogs and/or comments! Enjoy this extra sweet chapter! 😘

─── The Joker & The Queen (Masterlist)

JANUARY 1, 2021

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yourinstagram has added to their story!

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JANUARY 4 - 7, 2021

yourinstagram has added to their story!

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danielricciardo has added to their story!

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JANUARY 15, 2021

yourinstagram

♡ liked by rubendias, mclaren, danielricciardo and 6,452,325 others

yourinstagram SURPRISE!!! Excited to share that my studio album 'Chrysalis' is taking flight tonight at midnight! 🦋✨ To put it plainly, for the first time in my life, I just couldn’t stop writing songs. To try and put it more poetically, this album embodies a journey of love, growth, and the beautiful chaos in between. This couldn't have been possible without my muse, the one who untangled all the strings around my wings that were tied. Now, I remember what it feels like to fly ❤️

View all 20,975 comments

user i would like to apologize now for the person i will become after this album comes out

danielricciardo I'm glad to witness your journey. You're the one soaring, and I'm here cheering you on from the ground. Keep reaching new heights, love ❤️

yourinstagram You might be cheering from the ground, but your love has been the wind beneath my wings 🦋❤️ Grateful for your unwavering support 🥰

lilymhe talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, spectacular, never the same, totally unique, completely not ever been done before, unafraid to reference or not reference

user3 "I love you so much and so you can imagine how much, count all the stars and add one more" <- "Tanto" is such a romantic song 😭

user4 i wish i could gatekeep this forever…

user5 we, the dan-y/n nation, claim butterflies as one of our anthems!

userA ‘Enchanted’ will forever be our #1 anthem, but ‘Butterflies’ is #2 🦋

user6 "boys will be boys but girls will be women" you should be damn sure i'm gonna blast that song in the office 24/7

user7 if the word ‘aesthetic’ was an album:

user8 what's everyone's chrysalis holy trinity!?

userA Butterflies, Cowboy Like Me, Golden Hour userB Peace, Lightweight & Little Did I Know — I'm a sucker for songs where the singer shows vulnerability userC userB i did tear up a little bit with Peace ngl — "Give you my wild, give you a CHILD"!?!? SCREAMING!!!! userD is2g miss yourinstagram if you come out announcing a baby ricciardo after this i'm gonna send you all my hospital and funeral expenses 🫠

user9 Mom help my emotional support global superstar is fucking with me again

userA AHDHERKR YEAH userB me every single day, this woman lives to terrorize me lmaoo userC she's insane and i just deal with it tbh I mean releasing a whole album after releasing another one not even 6 months ago?! that's NUTS!

user10 good morning to "With your boots beneath my bed, forever is the sweetest con" and "You set my world on fire and I know, I know everything's gonna be alright" and "little did I know you would be the one I confide in...Little did I know it was you before I ever decided" and "Never knew I could laugh 'til I couldn't breathe, never thought I could show someone all of me, things are better than they've ever been" and "I watch superman fly away, you've got a busy day today. Go save the world I'll be around" and "My name is whatever you decide and I'm just gonna call you mine. I'm insane, but I'm your baby" and "My heartbeat is a sail, your heartbeat is a wave" and "The way you look at me, I'm starting to believe that I could call you mine and you'd still let me shine" good morning to daniel ricciardo for the masterpiece he inspired.

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FEBRUARY 4, 2021

danielricciardo

♡ liked by yourinstagram, georgerussell63, landonorris and 9,435 others

danielricciardo To the woman who makes every day brighter and my heart fuller... Happy anniversary, Chip ❤️ Here's to the love that grows stronger with each passing day.

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yourinstagram One year down, forever to go! ❤️ Let's continue reaching for the stars together 😘

georgerussell63 Happy anniversary, lovebirds!

natalie_pinkham Happy anniversary to the dynamic duo! 🌟 Here's to many more years of joy and laughter! 🥂❤️

user Happy anniversary to the power couple that leaves our hearts racing 🏁❤️

kymillman Cheers to the love that keeps burning rubber and breaking records! Happy anniversary, Daniel and Y/N!

yourmomsinstagram Love you and miss you both ❤️❤️

userA not the queen mother only commenting on dan's posts 😂 yourinstagram userA don't be fooled by "both", she only means him. He's her favorite child now 🫡 yourmomsinstagram yourinstagram no seas celosa!! 🤨😅

user2 the difference between their captions speaks so loud lmao

userA maybe daniel is realizing that what he needs is a woman by his side, not a girl. userB uh I think you misspelled it, you meant he doesn't need a SLUT*

martingarrix Who would've thought that when I introduced these two, I'd be creating a masterpiece! 🤷‍♂️ Happy anniversary, you crazy kids!

danielricciardo Haha Garrix, the man of many talents! Thanks for playing Cupid that night, mate!

ausgp POWER COUPLE GOALS!! 😭

scottyjames31 Who knew Daniel's biggest accomplishment would be convincing Y/N to love his terrible jokes? Love sure is weird! Congrats mates! 🎉

danielricciardo I'm sure you can relate mate, right chloestroll? chloestroll all I can say is that yourinstagram and I desperately need a girl's trip yourinstagram i'm already packing my bags babe, see ya at the airport chloestroll danielricciardo 💔 scottyjames31 💔 x2

user3 Congrats! Just feels like male celebrities aren't even trying to find girlfriends over 25 anymore. Well good luck and God bless

user4 Their age difference is so gross 🤢

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yourinstagram

♡ liked by danielricciardo, drewbarrymore, jessicaalba and 6,107,435 others

yourinstagram Every love story has a beginning, and ours started with a smile. Fast forward, it's been 365 days, countless memories, wild adventures, and a heart full of unwavering love, and it feels like we've only just begun. Thank you for being my constant, my greatest love, and my best friend. Happy anniversary, Danielito! Here's to the countless sunsets, slow-dancing in the kitchen and the beautiful journey of growing together.

I love you ❤️

I'll always feel enchanted to have met you. ✨🃏

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user she loves romcoms so much she’s now in one of her own 🥰

user2 Universe conspired, hearts collided, and now they're inseparable! ❤️

danielricciardo it's been a journey I wouldn't trade for anything, amor 🥰

martingarrix Happy anniversary to the dynamic duo I proudly orchestrated! 😎 As the undisputed mastermind behind this love story, I must say, you're welcome!

itsvittoriasousa uh nope, this was a joint effort 🤨 this wouldn't have happened if we didn't drag her to that party when all she wanted to do was to stay at home and watch re-runs of friends all night 🤦🏻‍♀️ iamdannaschwarz I wouldn't disagree with a pregnant woman if I were you, man 👀 yourinstagram itsvittoriasousa that was a great plan!! but I do prefer this outcome better so, thank you, guys! 😝

corey_wilson Happy anniversary, legends! Watching you two navigate this journey together is pure magic 🌟

zendaya the most attractive couple of all time!! Sorry to reduce you to looks 🤷🏾‍♀️

yourinstagram zendaya if you don't objectify us it doesn't count, babes 💕

user after everything she went through on her past relationships i'm really happy she's found someone who could love her and cherish her how she deserves! 🥹❤️

kristenanniebell Happy anniversary to the couple who defines love and friendship in the most beautiful way! ❤️

selenagomez such genuine souls 💕

user2 they just called me single in too many languages 😭 this video is so adorable! I feel like we are intruding in a sacred moment

userA their song choice is making me cry even more because ‘start of something good’ by daughtry conveys a sense of hope and optimism and the anticipation of a promising journey ahead and it's just perfect for them 😭❤️ userB He kisses her three times when "and all my scars don't seem to matter anymore 'cause they led me here to you" plays and now I'm on the fucking floor sobbing 😭

jvn Don't mind me, I'm just here melting because this is too damn cute 💖

user3 lucky girl, she is not that pretty, nothing special in her beauty

fioamato Happy anniversary, you two lovebirds! 🥂 Can't believe it's been a whole year of watching your love story unfold. Here's to many more chapters filled with laughter and adventures! Love you both! 💖✨ #ThirdWheelingForLife

user4 this looks like a fresh faced teenager with an old geezer. it's weird. Anyways, this relationship is not gonna last

donatella_versache Wishing you both a day as fabulous as you are ❤️

salmahayek Happy anniversary, danielricciardo and yourinstagram. Your journey is a testament to the power of true love. Here's to many more years of happiness! 🍾💖

user5 I’m gonna hug a tree at 90mph

user6 not my heart melting for these two 😭

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MARCH 9, 2021

yourinstagram

♡ liked by danielricciardo, natalie_pinkham, chloestroll and 7,402,385 others

yourinstagram Giddy up, loves! 🐎✨ Excited to unveil the 'Cowboy Like Me' music video! This marks my directorial debut, and who better to have as the leading cowboy than the hottest man in town 🤤 This song, this video — it's all about him. Get ready for a wild west love story with a dash of cuteness, a sprinkle of sexy, and a whole lot of us. Join the ride! 🤠

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danielricciardo Howdy, need a ride? 😏 You know what they say about a cowboy with a large belt buckle 😏

yourinstagram oh sir, i'm feeling really very altruistic lately and y'know what they say... save a horse, ride a cowboy 🤘🏼😜 btw it's that a pistol in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? 😏 userA hello? 911? 👮🏻‍♂️ right here these two are being horny on main AGAIN 👀👀👀 JAIL TIME!!! 😩 userB I SPAT MY WATER!!! 😳

danielricciardo I had a hog-killin' time filming this 🤠 i'm waiting for my academy's nominations already 😎

user Mami? No. Mami? No. Mami? No. Mami?? 🥵🍑

camila_cabello OMG YES YES YES 🔥🔥🔥

lilyjcollins Always in awe of you 😍

user2 cant wait for y'alls kids to look back on this video in 20 years and be like wow my parents are so fucking cool

chloestroll forever obsessed with you ❤️

michaelitaliano i'm free next time you need an extra, just saying

yourinstagram sure, you can be the rodeo clown. I know you are a natural 😊 user lmaooooo 💀💀💀 it screams sibling energy 😂

user4 THE TAG PLACEMENT I CAN'T 💀💀 MISS Y/N YOU'RE A SAVAGE

user5 He's so proud to be with her!!! No one else has showed this amount of pride — they are both glowing 🤧❤️

lilymhe not a crumb was left 👏🏼 literally ICONIC

user6 He doesn't wreck her plans he helps them happen 😭

user7 she gives off desperate for attention vibes

user is it her or is it you hun? get off of her page

user8 LOOK AT MY MOM AND DAD!! 😭❤️

user9 WE ARE SHAKING MISS L/N

user10 flop flop flop flooooop 🤡

userA she really is so embarrassing lmao userB she needs to put on some fucking clothes because she looks like a slut 🤢

user11 can you imagine creating so much drama wherever you go, can't be able to keep your legs shut for once, leech off of your bf fame to promote your music video and still being the queen of flop 😂

user12 it is criminal how good they both look in this 🥵 when he had his hand lingering on her waist at the bar????? i was about to fucking COMBUST!!

userA what about at the rodeo??? when she runs her hands on the back of his shoulders and winks at him??? 🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵 userB this whole video is a religious imagery fr userC the little scenes of them in bed and around her room and house??? MADE ME REALIZE THAT I WAS NEVER AS STRAIGHT AS I THOUGHT I WAS 🤯😩

user13 the harries miss her so much 😭 but she looks so happy, she's absolutely glowing and I can't help but feel so happy for her ❤️ I hope he gives her the world because she deserves it so much ❤️🥺

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MARCH 14, 2021

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APRIL 1, 2021

vanityfair

♡ 3,170 likes

vanityfair When fame meets speed, love takes an exhilarating ride! #Y/NL/N and Formula 1 star Daniel Ricciardo heat up the cover of VF's April issue, sharing their rollercoaster ride of love, the challenges of distance, and electrifying plans that'll leave you wanting more! Their candid insights provide an inspiring portrayal of love amidst fame and busy schedules.

"Love is a beautiful and complex journey, and everyone's story is unique. While I can't speak directly to someone else's personal experiences, for me love has the power to heal and transform," the singer-actress tells VF.

In 2020, they experienced the global quarantine together in Australia, navigated the ups and downs of fame and long-distance relationship, celebrating wins and more.

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yourinstagram Absolutely thrilled for this opportunity and be able to share it with my love. Grateful for each moment and excited for what's to come! ❤️

yourinstagram somebody call the fire department because we are smoking hot 🚒🔥

user 👆🏼 get yourself a woman that can do both 🤭 danielricciardo you lucky mf

[danielricciardo and others liked this]

user2 Who knew quarantine could lead to this much romance? 🥰

user3 Dreaming of falling in love during quarantine like Dan and Y/N. Can't relate, but happy for them! 😂💕

user4 suddenly i can't breath 🥵

user5 FUUUCK SHE'S WEARING HIS INITIAL 😭😭

userA smth smth "I want to wear his initial on a chain around my neck, not because he owns me but 'cause HE REALLY KNOWS ME. Which is more than they can say" userB in my eyes that's a big and subtle "f u" to the haters 🤭 userC UGH WHAT. A. WOMAN. 😩

user6 I can't decide if I wanna be Daniel or if I wanna be Y/N 🤯🥵

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MAY 9, 2021

yourinstagram

📍 Catalunya, España

♡ liked by rubendias, mclaren, danielricciardo and 6,452,325 others

yourinstagram you make me feel sweet like papaya 🧡

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mclaren Rocking the papaya color like no other 🧡😍

user she slays in every color 🔥

danielricciardo can I have a taste por favor? 👀

user2 #TeamYN forever and always 🧡

user3 her first time on the paddock this year and she ATE 🥰

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MAY 16, 2021

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itsvittoriasousa has added to their story!

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yourinstagram and danielricciardo have added to their stories!

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─── Please don't forget to reblog and/or comment! ♡

#the joker and the queen fic #daniel ricciardo x reader #daniel ricciardo x you #latina!reader #famous!reader #daniel ricciardo imagine #daniel ricciardo social media au #daniel ricciardo instagram au #f1 x reader #f1 social media au #( agentstarkid's works )

[stxrvel]

i don't wanna live forever (5)

summary: the time had come to destroy HYDRA and collect for all that had been taken from them...

pairing: bucky barnes x f!reader

words: 6k

warnings: descriptions of: blood, wounds, fights and weapons. probably gonna wake a lot of sadness since the begining. mentiones of suicide thoughts. heartbreak. stubborn characters. mentions of character deaths (canon). remember i'm not that good at writing action scenes and that English is not my first language!

note: hi guys! i didn't rest today at work. instead, i wrote 6k words for my actual hyperfixation and i'm actually exhausted. sometimes i write first in spanish and then in english, when my head is not up for the double translate, and leave the conversion to future me. this is future me talking and i hate myself for that. but i'm kind of proud how this one came out, so i hope you guys like it the same! feedback and reactions are always appreciated! see u guys next time &lt;3

part 1

It was already getting dark when the small cellar you were in with your friends filled with applause and singing, a joy bouncing off the walls as you walked in Steve's direction with a grin from ear to ear. Your blond friend watched the small cake Peggy had gotten him that afternoon head towards him between your hands, setting it down on an upturned wooden barrel, a little damp, that they would use as a table.

Peggy and Bucky were off to the side, their faces matching your excitement as Steve reached down and shook his head.

“I don't even want to imagine how you got that cake in,” was the first thing Steve said when the happy birthday song ended, shooting you a grateful look. His eyes sparkled like you hadn't seen in many days and you felt Peggy's squeeze on your forearm as she came over to form a little circle just like Bucky.

“Trust me, you don't want to know,” Peggy shook her head, her smile matching the blond's.

You watched Steve split a piece of the cake with a spoon you had no idea where Peggy had gotten it from, your friend bursting out laughing when Steve raised his head and she smeared white cream all over his nose. At that moment you felt Bucky's body heat behind you, all your senses turning on at once.

“No candle, but you can make a wish before you take the first bite.”

Steve shared a look with his friend, still with that twinkle in his eye and the most relaxed expression he'd had in days. He was still wearing his uniform, having caught him by surprise to bring him into the warehouse after a long day of planning strategies for the next mission against HYDRA. You and Peggy had been thinking for several days about doing something, and being that it was rather difficult to throw a small party in the camp you were in, you decided to opt for something a little more ordinary and familiar. You couldn't say, however, that Steve didn't like it, not when you saw him smiling at everyone so openly, shoulders down and spreading laughter to everyone around him.

With the spoon halfway to his mouth, Steve closed his eyes and made a wish.

You smiled indulgently, watching two of your friends share a small moment as Steve took some more cake to give Peggy. With your hands behind your back, you suddenly felt Bucky's left hand make its way through your fingers, intertwining your hands very carefully.

“How's the taste?”

Steve shook his head nodding at your words, his brow furrowing in pleasure as he enjoyed the large bites he was taking of the cake. At that moment, all you could think about was how much you would sacrifice to stay in that bubble forever, even without knowing what was coming next.

-

“Are you okay?”

You heard his footsteps before you saw him, his body leaning against the second to last step where you had sat and turned away from the others. The routine you had had to get used to over the past few months, after believing you were going to change the world, had become a constant burden that was hard to shake off. Still, you took and cherished moments like those when you could go out and sit and just watch the vast sky stretching for miles. The stars shone so brightly there, in the middle of the forest, that they seemed like little beacons seeking to guide you to a better future; perhaps to a future that you did deserve. Steve also sometimes accompanied you in silence, having learned that he couldn't always argue with you about the meaning of life and the purpose for which you two had to carry out the unjust orders of superiors. You once saw one of his drawings, a woman sitting at the top of a flight of stairs and a starry night giving her a message of hope. Maybe he saw it the same way too after a while.

“Yeah,” you replied to Bucky with a tight-lipped little smile.

Bucky didn't know much about you now. As the weeks went by you realized it was true what he had once told you, when the America's couple shows and his platoon's stay coincided for the first time in months. You had changed a lot since the serum injection. And, well, who wouldn't, after all? That's why when you were together after so long he spent time very close to you, very aware of you, checking with his excellent senses that nothing was out of place. That you were okay.

You didn't know if he had believed you, by the way his face remained expressionless, barely a slight twitch of his eyebrows, but he didn't repeat the question.

“Do you think there's anything else for us, besides this?”

Bucky turned his gaze to look at the sky and you watched his profile, the curve of his eyelashes and his half-opened lips. Situations like that had become commonplace, too. Since you no longer spent so much time together and you had changed so much because somehow you had to adapt to the harsh reality against which you had crashed, Bucky constantly wondered many things about life that ended up being his own fears materialized in existential crises. For him his world was shaking. Since you told him that you had been invited to the Super Soldier project with Steve, everything had become uncertainty for him. Uncertainty about his life, about your life, about the life you wanted to have together, uncertainty about the future, uncertainty about life.

You had the conception that Bucky could never fully adapt to the abrupt change that meant his two best friends were involved in a private experiment that gave them heightened senses and more strength and speed than an average human. Now he seemed to looked at himself like the mere mortal who walked shoulder to shoulder with two gods. He seemed to feel that death would knock faster at his door and it drove him mad.

“Yeah, I don't think this is it,” you shook your head in assent, watching out of the corner of your eye as Bucky rested his forearms on his knees and leaned forward a bit. His hands interlocked and parted, his fingertips met and parted, his fists opened and closed.

“But you'll outlive me,” Bucky looked down, his blue eyes glittering focused on yours under the moonlight. You could barely hear movement in the back of the hold where Peggy and Steve were still talking. Your heart flipped at the vulnerability you saw through his eyes, lately more common than you'd like. You didn't like not being able to quell those thoughts that dominated his head; the insecurities and fears that made him doubt so many things in the middle of the night.

“We'd live the same amount of time,” you assured him shaking your head, your own mind refusing to accept that Bucky's fears could take more power over him. Whatever you could do to calm him, you would do, always.

“You have the serum. You and Steve will live for many more years. Hell, maybe you'll even be immortals,” Bucky tried to smile, but a grimace settled on his face and made his words bitter. He was subtly trying to untwist his shoulders, barely moving to your side trying not to show too much that he was kind of nervous.

“Why are you telling me that now?” you shifted on the wooden step, moving a little closer towards him. Bucky tensed visibly, not because of the closeness, but because he knew the moment was coming when you would stop following his lead and start asking him what was really plaguing his mind. For some reason, Bucky couldn't approach those topics of conversation naturally, letting his mind and words wander a bit before daring to take his fears by the horns.

“I don't know… I guess. It's a truth I have to accept,” he confessed, his voice so fragile and soft that had it not been for the extreme hearing the serum had granted you, you surely wouldn't have understood him. You felt your heart crumple and moved your hand from your lap to cradle his hands that he still could not let still.

“But it is a truth that is still a long way from being fulfilled.”

“And first we have to get through the war,” Bucky turned his hands to lace them with yours, his fingers intertwining with yours and giving them a squeeze.

“We will. I have no doubt about it. In fact, I have a plan to persuade Phillips,” you smiled at him trying to lighten the weight on his shoulders a bit.

Little surprised, Bucky let out a laugh, his free shoulders shaking in sync with his chest. A beautiful smile spread across his face, and you would've enjoyed it except you could still notice his tired eyes and the dark traces beneath them. It seemed that the moonlight intensified the reality of his emotions.

“You always have a plan for everything.”

“What can I say? I'm an optimist,” you lifted your shoulders, leaning against Bucky's side. His head dropped to rest on the crown of your head, his breathing synchronizing with yours for a moment.

“Between the two of us, you definitely are,” he murmured, taking a deep breath, enjoying the moment for several seconds. “Sorry for… coming to bring up those topics of conversation.”

“No, it's okay. I like to listen. And you tend to do that sometimes,” you shook your head over his shoulder trying to dispel the topic, Bucky's hands tightening around yours.

“What?”

“You suddenly talk about things you don't want to tell me too much about and then put a little light-hearted attitude on it so it doesn't sound so serious.”

Bucky lifted his head, causing you to move in time to meet his surprised expression as well. His lips were trying to twitch into a smile, but he didn't seem to know if he wanted to laugh or frown.

“Do I really do it that often?”

“A little, yes.”

“Ah, I'm pretty bad at dissembling I guess,” Bucky looked up, finally succumbing to the smile. The gesture satisfied you enough to delve into the emotion with him, taking a moment to further enjoy that scenario you could no longer be a part of lately; to enjoy those everyday moments where you could feel love materially spark around you, as if it was a novel written solely to satisfy human romantic desires and whims.

You shook your head, returning to the subject.

“But you don't have to worry about my supposed immortality. I know we'll live the same,” you assured him once more, your arms wrapping around his right arm and squeezing it securely, hugging him, trying to send him some of the confidence you felt inside.

“How are you so sure?”

The truth was, you weren't, but you couldn't let him know that, much less let him know that you didn't expect his life expectancy to be as extensive as yours was now either. But how were you going to tell him that? He must've been martyred enough by his own thoughts during every moment of the day when they drowned him, and it wasn't as if you expected too much of a life after him either. You could have immortality served on a silver platter, but what would be the point if you had to spend it on your own? Bucky was thinking about not wanting to leave you alone, and you were thinking about the impossibility of finding a reason to live after him.

“Because I know I don't want to live forever if I'm not with you.”

Bucky stopped his light, ghost-like caresses on your fingers. He turned his face to look at you, his nostalgic expression disappearing in a matter of seconds. His blue eyes looked contrite, as if there was a storm inside them. You had never hesitated in your answer, no matter when he had asked. And yet you seemed to have taken him by surprise; it seemed that such a thing would never have crossed his mind even by accident.

“Y/N…”

“I'd be living in vain. Stolen time,” you shook your head, averting your gaze from the depths of his, an unknown kind of longing or fear furrowing across his features that you couldn't bear to see a second longer. You were there at that moment and you would see each other again later, why did you have to think about it too much?

Bucky sighed. Only when you felt his body relax against your side did you know he understood that it would do no good for him to try to antagonize you.

“Still, you deserve a life like this. After all you've been through,” his voice was barely a whisper that tore through the silent chill that surrounded you, but the implication of his words furrowed against your chest like a dagger. You shook your head before the memories could reach you.

“We all deserve it, especially in this world consumed by the greed of power and hatred.”

You saw him nod out of the corner of your eye, his hands wrapping around one of your hands, the one closest to his side and bringing it up to his lips to kiss your knuckles. His eyes were fixed on your profile, you could feel it, but you were afraid to turn to look at him and allow your emotions to come out. You were too sweet to succumb to strong feelings when you were with Bucky.

“Hey!” was Steve's voice, like a beacon in the middle of the ocean, making you both turn at the same time. “Peggy's just leaving.”

“Want a ride, Barnes?”

“Ah, it would be my pleasure, Agent Carter.”

Peggy moved, after saying goodbye to Steve and you, and walked in the direction of the huge forest that stretched into the distance where she had parked her car. Or Howard's car, you couldn't quite make out through the darkness.

“See you later, Miss I-don't-want-to-live-forever,” Bucky approached you with a half smile, having said goodbye to Steve, meeting him halfway to melt you in his arms. The tension in your shoulders eased considerably, a sigh making its way into your chest.

“Take care, Bucky,” you squeezed his waist, because you weren't tall enough to reach his shoulders in a hug, and he squeezed you back in response.

“Sure thing. I got to see my girl again, after all.”

You laughed between the hollow of his neck and shoulder, feeling your cheeks burn. Bucky broke away just barely to look at you with his own huge grin.

“Don't overdo it, Barnes.”

“Come on!” Peggy insisted, glancing at the watch on her wrist.

You broke away from Bucky, trying to push him to get into the car with his affianced friend, but he had other plans. In the midst of your struggle to push him away, he grabbed one of your wrists, using very little force to pull you close to his chest, his lips crashing against yours in a fleeting action, but not at all rough, barely a brush. Before you knew what happened he had already pulled away from you.

“When I get back, we have a lot to talk about.”

He never came back. He left in the next couple of days for the mission on the train and all you got back was a shattered Steve, his face dirty and sticky from all the tears he'd shed, his pleading eyes crystallizing on you the moment he had to tell you that Bucky had died. You could still remember how his voice cracked as he begged your forgiveness, repeating it over and over as if it would ease the burden he felt on his shoulders, the guilt for not being able to get him in time. You never blamed Steve for what happened, but it seemed like he did for a long time.

Reliving those memories was always a constant martyrdom. After Bucky's funeral you didn't think you could move on, but carrying all his pain in a sack of rocks, Steve assured you that they would avenge the reason Bucky had died. HYDRA. So you did and were able to carry on for a while until Steve was also declared KIA.

Peggy and Howard were a great help when you realized that you couldn't die on your own, because you healed faster than normal and could spend more time than humanly possible underwater. To say that you didn't try to leave the earthly world would be a lie, but your friends tried to help you in every way they could until you had to leave the United States. When you thought you would have to spend years hiding in Europe, Howard told you that wasn't necessary. Just staying under the radar and out of the feds' jurisdiction would be fine and he would take care of it. And one day, after spending a week in the apartment you were renting without getting out of bed for almost any reason, a knock on the door startled you.

“Correspondence,” rang through the silence of the apartment.

You only got up because you knew the mailman was wrong. You had given your address to absolutely no one and there was no way any person knew of your existence in that country. You thought you took pity on the man, when he handed you the letter and it did indeed have your name on it.

It was an acceptance letter from some university. Apparently you had enrolled to study mathematics.

You had a suspicion of what was going on, but something in your chest asked you to ignore it. The letter asked for an interview before classes started in exactly three days, and after that interview you received a letter from Peggy.

When Howard died you knew you couldn't go back to Europe. Largely because you had to find out who his killer was, but also because you wanted to watch over Peggy's life as you couldn't do for your other three friends. You were often terrified for your friend's life, especially having the job she had and dealing with all those powerful people who wouldn't hesitate for the blink of an eye to order her death.

Steve was right. You stayed with Peggy to investigate Howard's death. But you also stayed because she was the only thing you had left and you had to take care of her; you had to preserve her, to do everything you could to prevent another tragic and unnecessary death. You would've sacrificed anything in life just to allow Peggy to have the life she deserved. And so you did. You cared for her for many years, you were so attentive to her that her children called you aunt and then her grandchildren called you grandma; you were at all her family gatherings, giving gifts to her children at Christmas and celebrating each new year as you watched time pass through her eyes. Every January 1st you saw it as a win, a whole year in which so much sacrifice had been worth it.

Now… well, now everything was a bit more complicated.

Natasha had left the abandoned dam first after going over the plan one last time. You were supposed to go with Steve and Sam, even though Steve was reluctant to have you near the Winter Soldier again, as if you didn't have the same strength and agility as he did. Of course, his fear was rooted in something completely different than that, something he and Natasha had discovered with Zola.

“HYDRA spent years searching for you to recreate the super-soldier serum after the war. If not for the excellent work Peggy and Howard did, they probably would've found you more easily.”

Now, having such a palpable possibility of destroying HYDRA, you didn't think there was the slightest chance that they were still thinking about it, although Natasha stressed that it seemed to be that the soldier had two different missions when he found them in the middle of the city, one of them being that he was to keep you alive. Zhivoy, you recalled bitterly. Alive.

Steve didn't want to risk finding something else waiting for them when they reached the helicarriers, something that might lead you away from him. And yes, you understood his concern because it was the same one you'd felt for years and was more latent recently since Steve returned. But you weren't going to stand by like a fucking statue while they did all the work. You would take it upon yourself to destroy HYDRA completely and deprive them of any chance they might have to get close to Steve, you or Bucky again. Whatever you had to do, you'd do it.

“He's not the same,” you had told Steve, as you walked to the Triskelion in the company of Sam and Maria.

“But he'll remember us,” Steve assured, his hand tightly gripping the strap with which he held the shield. Steve had been repeating that to himself all day, even in front of Sam. You couldn't believe you were the one trying to maintain an objective demeanor in that situation.

“Yeah, maybe at some point. But right now it's not him, Steve,” you turned to look at him, his face fixed on the expanse of water surrounding the large building he used to work for. “He's not the Bucky we knew.”

Steve looked back at you, pausing for a moment. You knew he was mindful of it, you knew Steve was aware of how dangerous he was now; that there was a good chance he really didn't remember them and you wanted to make sure that wouldn't cloud his judgment; that he would still fight for his life.

But the resolve in his eyes didn't convince you. His lack of response fanned a hollow in your chest, your hands breaking out in a cold sweat as you stared at the empty space he left in front of you.

Steve was willing to bring him back and you were afraid of losing him.

For some reason, you felt it had to be different.

-

You heard Steve's voice over the speakers, running so you could find the helicarriers exit before they took off. Steve and Sam were supposed to meet you halfway, but you were already halfway there, fighting off a few agents, and you still didn't hear them nearby. Your breath caught in your throat as one of the STRIKE agents grabbed you by the throat while another plunged an electric baton into your side, the sensation of volts coursing through your entire nervous system sending you into a momentary state of shock.

You dropped your hands to stop struggling with the agent behind you and grabbed the wrist holding the baton with an overly strong grip, snapping the bone in place and jerking your head to strike the face of the man behind you as his grip wobbled for a second. Both agents fell to the ground, two bones broken in less than a minute. You grabbed the baton before departing, hitting them both in the head barely using half your strength, knocking them unconscious instantly.

As you exited the Triskelion facility to meet the gap you would have to jump over to intercept the first helicarrier, you heard Steve and Sam's voices closer. Oh, right, you forgot to use the communicator.

“Where were you?” Steve exclaimed, running alongside Sam closer to the chasm.

“You've got blood on your neck,” Sam pointed out, before spreading his metal wings and flying off into the sky.

“Put on your communicator,” Steve asked you just before you both jumped at the same time, a feeling of emptiness planting itself in the pit of your stomach.

You landed with your legs bent and leaned forward for a spin before getting up and continuing to run alongside Steve. You rummaged in one of your pants pockets, praying that the small devices hadn't been shattered during the fights you had inside the Triskelion.

Only one was spared.

Steve barely sent you a reproachful glance, shaking his head, as you approached a horde of HYDRA agents. You barely finished putting the small communicator to your ear when the hail of bullets came in their direction. Steve grabbed your arm to pull you behind his shield until he managed to hide behind two large containers. The fight was immediate.

The group of agents split up and you jumped right in front of two of them, sliding on the ground to use the baton from below to disarm them. You knocked one of them out with the high volts of the baton and the other tried to stab you from behind, but you stopped his hand midway and flipped his arm over, a shriek of pain escaping him as his shoulder dislocated. The man fell to his knees and, lifting one leg, you half-turned to strike his face with your full tibia.

“Cap, I found the bad guys you were talking about,” you heard Sam's voice, noting that, although that communicator was working, the voice you perceived sounded distant.

“Are you okay?” you heard Steve, as he came closer and you stepped on the handle of the staff, lifting it in a single stroke so that it landed in your hand.

“Not dead yet.”

Steve nodded, though he knew Sam couldn't see him and gave you a questioning look.

“Works?” he pointed to your ear, starting to pace.

“A little bruised, but does the job.”

Your friend shook his head, starting to run inside the helicarrier.

“Cap?” you smirked.

“Don't start,” the blond spoke through his teeth, moving toward his target. “Report location.”

You nodded in his direction, heading for the first agents who appeared to obstruct his path, clearing Steve's way in the direction of the helicarrier hub.

When you were done with the agents and Steve was finally able to enter the control center, you turned your attention to the voices ringing through the communicator.

“Ah, shit,” was Sam's voice, and the next thing you heard was gunfire around the helicarrier next to it.

“Fine, but you're going with me. I don't want to let you out of my sight,” Steve had said a few hours before they left the dam, leaving no room for argument in his haughty voice.

“That's unnecessary, Steve. We'd waste too much time,” you shook your head, trying to match his stoic, stern expression.

“She's right,” Maria nodded in your direction. “There are three helicarriers and three of you.”

“No,” Steve began to rise, your eyes following the movement of his body and his blue eyes fixed on yours. “Fury delegated orders to me, and that's an order.”

You indulged Steve until you lost sight of him, understanding he had said that out of pent-up fear. You grabbed one of the weapons that had been left on the ground and passed the strap over your head. The third helicarrier was a considerable distance away at a jump. You had to pick up too much speed to even make it to the tip, but you weren't going to stand there waiting for Steve when you could be doing something more; something necessary.

So that's what you did. Steve still hadn't reported state when you started running from tip to tip, your steps getting bigger with every second until you reached the gap and picked up momentum at the tip. That was insane. You felt the emptiness in your stomach again and out of the corner of your eye you could see a couple of explosions occurring in the harbor where the helicarriers had departed from. You stretched your arms out, counting on having propelled your body far enough, fearing a deadly fall as the other edge began to look higher and higher.

“Y/N, status,” you heard Hill, your heart in your mouth.

Your mind went blank for a second, when in the midst of the adrenaline you almost didn't even feel the moment when your left hand gripped the edge of the helicarrier tightly, the aircraft moving a little farther with each passing second. You had jumped at just the right moment.

Breathing hard, you propelled yourself upward until you could plant your feet back on the runway floor and replied to Maria, “Waiting.”

Steve must've thought you were still on the helicarrier with him.

As you ran, Sam reported that he had intercepted the second helicarrier after Steve, barely recognizing their voices amidst the tussle you were having with the agents who had appeared before you could reach the control room door.

“Y/N, where are you?” the voice of Steve came over the comm, a few minutes after you took down the last agent, moving in the direction of the metal door. You felt heavily for the programming card you had taken from Steve when he had pulled you close to get behind his shield, as you heard him ask Sam if he could see you.

You were about to reach the door when the scenery abruptly changed, a body appearing out of nowhere colliding into your left side sending you crashing to the ground hard.

“Shit.”

“Y/N?”

You ignored Steve's voice, moving to push off the heavy body on top of yours. Amidst the struggle you crawled away across the floor, a hand clutching at your ankle before you could move any further.

You recognized him by the coldness that ran through your body at the contact. You could almost be sure it had burned you.

This time he wasn't wearing the mask, those blue eyes boring deep into your head, the angry expression very different from how you had seen him last time. Although you would've liked to stay longer just watching, after spending so many years suffering his death, you pulled the leg he had held captive and tried to hit him in the face, his metal arm moving faster neutralizing the hit.

At that moment you stood up arching your back, planting your feet hard and running towards the soldier before he could catch you off guard.

You tried to strike his face, but he nimbly dodged every blow, just as you dodged his. He let out a grunt of frustration as you sent him to the ground with a kick to the chest, pulling a weapon from his side that he didn't hesitate a second to point in your direction. Feeling the air caught in your throat, you moved quickly on the ground, trying to escape his bullets while managing to find a place to hide.

You heard his footsteps approaching, as you hid behind a container, stopping just on the other side, and you moved to the right side of the container when you knew he was going to jump out and surprise you from above.

His body froze for a second, which you took advantage of to jump over the dumpster and grab him from behind, the baton you had on your belt wrapped around his neck, cutting off his breathing. You tried to hold him tight as he tried to push away your grip with his metal arm, almost as strong as your push to keep him in place.

The soldier began to slow his movements, but if you hadn't been so torn between he's the Winter Soldier and he's Bucky, you would've noticed one of his hands move over his vest, grabbing the handle of a knife and burying it in your right leg hard, all the way in, causing you to gasp.

Clearly your grip wobbled, the soldier taking possession of your staff and turning around as he pulled the blade out of your leg to direct his foot towards your chest, pushing you back to the ground where you fell with a loud thud.

The wound was deep. You could feel and hear the blood pouring out of it, but you didn't just stand there as you saw him leap down from the container, raising his arms to parry his attack as he directed the knife towards your face. His face contorted and scrunched up in concentration was all you could focus on, remembering that you couldn't let him win, but you also couldn't hurt him like he wanted to hurt you. You had to be objective, yes, but the thought of hurting him once more was heartbreaking.

You struggled with his hand until he let go of the knife, using your strength and trying to ignore the sharp pain in your leg from the effort to push him to the ground beside you with your hand on his neck and your leg around his waist, lying on top of him with one leg on each side.

At that moment, as you tried to keep your arm over his neck and he tried to weaken you by hitting your sides, you heard Steve and Sam's voices again. A small panic ran through your body which was enough for the soldier to push your arm away, grabbing you by the neck with his metal arm and bringing a gun close to your face as he rose up, taking you with him, until he slammed you into a wall with great force.

You raised your hand between your bodies to move the tip of the gun, the shot falling a short distance above your head, your exorbitant eyes watching his furious expression. His metal hand closed tighter and tighter around your neck, your breath hitching, but you didn't relinquish your grip on the hand still holding the gun.

In the midst of the struggle, you brought your knee up to strike his crotch. The soldier jerked away, a whimper dying in his mouth as you moved toward him again, pushing his arm away as he pointed the gun at you again and the shot landed somewhere behind you again.

You hit him in the face with your own head, one of your hands holding his right arm with the gun and the other trying to keep his metal arm that held the knife dripping with your blood at bay. You hit him full in the nose again, but even though the blood was starting to drip down, the soldier didn't budge one bit.

“Go!” you shouted to Steve and Sam, the soldier averting his attention for a tiny moment before struggling against your grip again.

You had to break free somehow to get the card to Steve. Your body began to give way with the soldier's thrust, your boots sliding on the floor like it was marble. The soldier began to close his arms and you tried to match his strength, but the blood leaking from the wound in your leg was slowly weakening you. And it was a vibranium knife again.

Suddenly you noticed Steve running towards you, the fleeting glance costing you restraint, as the soldier raised your arms and turned you roughly, his back crashing against your chest and his metal hand burying in your chest the knife hard, moving it from side to side as he did that cold night in Siberia.

In the midst of the pain and weakness from the blood loss, you laid your head on his shoulder, the adrenaline slowly draining from your body.

“Bucky,” you whispered like a prayer, your strangled voice barely making its way out of your mouth and the soldier tensing behind you. The struggling stopped for a second.

Then his body heat disappeared. Steve must've reached and tackled the soldier without missing a beat.

“Hey, hey,” you heard Sam approaching you, kneeling beside you and taking your hand that wanted to pull the knife out of your chest. Right through the center, near the heart. That pain was no match for the disappointment that was tearing you apart inside. Maybe that time you could actually die. “Don't touch that.”

“Give the card to Steve…” you barely muttered breathlessly, one of your hands moving to pull the card out of one of your lower pants pockets. “Run.”

Sam hesitated for a few seconds, looking between your knife and the fight that was still picking up steam in the background, until he clicked his tongue and stood up.

“Don't take that knife out!”

You saw him run in the direction of Steve and the soldier, his metal wings rising in the midst of the struggle. Steve and Sam began to get the upper hand, and at some point, Steve took off in the direction of the helicarrier control center.

You dropped to the ground, watching helplessly as the soldier overpowered Sam, dislodging his wings with the force of his metal arm. The pain was too much, but Sam was completely helpless. No matter how much training he might've had, fighting the Winter Soldier was disproportionate.

So in a matter of seconds you stood up, grasping between gasps the handle of the knife and pulling it out of your chest without a second thought.

The electric current of pain that coursed through your body was unbearable, feeling as if the hollowness you constantly felt in your chest from emotions had suddenly materialized, a constant pang that coursed through you from head to toe at every microsecond, with every movement. Sam didn't even have time to react when you grabbed the soldier by the throat, burying the knife in his leg and trying to wave him off.

You could consider yourself well served if at that moment that was your death.

The soldier grabbed the arm around your neck and leaned forward, lifting you up and flipping you over onto your back, falling hard and painfully to the ground. You looked at the knife in his leg before looking at his face again. He had a couple of cuts, his expression still angry, but he seemed to hesitate as he pulled the knife out like it was nothing and watched you lying on the ground, completely at his mercy.

His hesitation brought unease to your chest.

“Bucky,” you called again, tears welling in your eyes.

The soldier only frowned, his anger momentarily fading until he seemed to remember something.

He turned to look at the control center. Before running off, he sent you another disgruntled look, just like that time on the road.

Whatever had happened after that, death or not, was extremely painful.

-

tag: @samodivaa @rubyxx16

#and yeah i wrote a whole fic just to put that exact scene at the begining #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes angst #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes #bucky fic #bucky fluff #bucky x you #bucky x reader #james bucky barnes #bucky #james bucky buchanan barnes #winter soldier #james buchanan barnes #the winter soldier #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes imagine

[teyamsatan]

Illicit Affairs | Chapter VII: Hoax

Pairing: Neteyam x Human/Avatar!Reader

Chapter I Chapter II Chapter III Chapter IV Chapter V Chapter VI Chapter VIII Chapter IX Chapter X

Synopsis: Tensions erupt when Neteyam confronts you about something he saw. His secret comes out at the worst time, leaving you both in pieces. 

Warnings: (a little) smut (18+, Minors DNI), angst, mentions of blood mentions of death, injury, pills, pill addiction, opioid addiction, disease, cursing, some fluff + all the feels.

Word Count: 9,5k words (holy mother)

A/N: This is it, guys! Where tensions explode and secrets come come out, hearts are bound to be broken. I hope you enjoy this chapter, I put everything into it. I cried whilst writing it, I laughed whilst writing it, pretty sure I experienced the full spectrum of human emotions whilst doing this. Also, I have ignored my actual work to finish it, so if I fail my annual progression review, at least it would have been worth it. Let me know what you think, and as always, thank you for everyone who is reading is and asked to be tagged &lt;;3

"My only one, my kingdom come undone My broken drum, you have beaten my heart Don't want no other shade of blue, but you No other sadness in the world would do"

“There are perks with being an Omatikaya, you know? You can make your bow out of the wood of the Home Tree… and you can choose a mate.” 

Fuck. 

“Lo’ak… be serious.”

“I am serious, Angel. You’ve been in my life for as long as I can remember. You have always been the only one to see me for more than just a freak, or a fuck-up, or a disappointment. You see me.”

The younger Sully boy gently cupped you face in his hand; he was caressing your cheek with his thumb. Using a little force, he willed your face upwards so you could look up at his face; you were surprised to see the intensity in his eyes. 

You placed your hand on his arm, and you hoped by slowly massaging it, it would relax him enough to soften your following words. 

“Lo’ak… I do see you. You are an incredible person. You have been there for me my whole life, and I will be forever grateful to you. You have been the only one who constantly chose the dark stuffy lab to the beauty of this world because the labs had me in it, you were closest to my mum and she loved you like you were her own. I think you are the most amazing guy there is and I think your mate will be the luckiest girl there is. But that’s not me, Lo’ak. You know that can’t be me.”

His hand dropped from your face and both of his hands took yours in them, squeezing them ardently. 

“But it is you. It has to be you.” 

“Kehe (no). Lo’ak, you are my best friend. I am your best friend. I love you so much, and I know you love me too, but the love we have for each other is not the kind of love one needs to be mated for life.” 

You spoke softly, looking at him pleadingly, hoping that he would understand your words in the way that you intend them. You can see his gaze drop and form deflate, being replaced by a meek one, a shadow of his former self. 

“Oh… I see.” He was now turning his back to you, trying to leave without looking you in the eye. You were not going to let that happen.

“I’m not letting you leave.” You say, keeping his hands tightened in yours. ��We will talk about this, and you will recognise I am right.” 

Neteyam was having trouble seeing as he was manoeuvring his way through the forest. He felt sick to his stomach and every heartbeat sent waves of hurt through his entire body, like shards of glass gutting him from inside out. How could his own brother do this? How could you do this? He has spent more than two months with you, every day, sending touches and glances your way that were begging to be seen, begging to be acknowledged. He secretly prayed that you would call him out on it, give him a reason to finally tell you that he’s loved you since he was 10 and yearned for your touch since the second his eyes fell on you again after a whole year apart. He wanted you to finally give him a reason to tell everyone to fuck off and let him finally live his life by his own rules, with you by his side. 

Neteyam was shaking with tempestuous fury at the unfairness of it all. Lo’ak will always get everything just handed to him on a silver platter, won’t he? Freedom, to make his own choices, to live his life as he wished, carelessly and devoid of any forethought or responsibility. And now he got you, the woman of his dreams - and nightmares - and the future he used to fantasise would one day be his. 

His legs were moving without any conscious input from his mind, and before long, he found himself on the way to the clearing you and him used to go to all the time. Your place, just for his and your eyes to see, just for his and your hearts to experience. As he was nearing, he heard soft sounds emerging from the spot, and he slowly, carefully approached with a bow at the ready and all his senses heightened. 

“We were in the backseat, drunk on something stronger than the drinks in the bar…

I rent a place on Cornelia Street, I say casually in the car…”

Soft strumming and the most beautiful voice he has ever heard, a voice that he would recognise anywhere, for the rest of time, made him drop the bow he was gripping tightly. That song, Neteyam thought with a wince, and let himself remember.

“This piece of heaven is our Cornelia Street.” 

“What’s Cornelia Street?”

“Well, it’s a place back on Earth where one of her houses used to be, but in this case, it’s a metaphor. Cornelia Street is to them what this clearing is to us.” 

A month before your 17th birthday is the last day Neteyam saw you. He was coming to say goodbye. You didn’t know that, and, in your enthusiasm at seeing him after such a long time because of his training, or so he told you, you suggested coming here. Neteyam remembers everything about that day. He didn’t sleep that night, cried himself to sleep quietly in his family’s tent thinking of the possibility of not seeing you again, for a long time, perhaps forever. He had decided that his mum was right. Being around you was hurting you both, and maybe by leaving, both of you could heal and move on. He wouldn’t have to live with causing you more pain than you already had to deal with, and you wouldn’t have to go outside, something that you were only doing for him, it seemed. It was a win-win, he thought, and yet his heart was torn apart, coming apart at the seams of wounds that barely healed. 

You were sitting on the ground, resting your back on a rock by the river bank, with the same guitar in your hands you have had since you were young. Neteyam thought he probably heard thousands of songs being played on that guitar, countless hours laying just like he was now, hearing you sing. He did not like humans, could not understand them, their world, their traditions, their beliefs, but watching you strum that guitar and singing about your love, a love neither of you could ever say out loud except in this way, he realised humans did some things right. Humanity did you right. 

“We were a fresh page on the desk, filling in the blanks as we go

As if the street lights pointed in an arrowhead, leading us home”

Neteyam watched you intently, and was trying to assimilate the lyrics as best he could, knowing this was always your preferred method of communication, knowing that through these songs you are confessing your true, buried desires. You looked at him as you sang, giving him a big smile.

“And I hope I never lose you, hope it never ends

I'd never walk Cornelia Street again

That's the kind of heartbreak time could never mend

I'd never walk Cornelia Street again”

A year and a half later, inhabiting a new body, you were not smiling anymore as you were playing this, the strumming on the guitar slower and more sorrowful, and your voice sounded hoarse, like you had been crying. Neteyam couldn’t believe that you would come here, in his and your secret place and sing the song you silently confessed your feelings to, after what he saw. He felt his anger poison his body, as his heart picked up pace and made his heartbeat ring painfully in his ears, muffling the sound of your voice. 

“I never did walk Cornelia Street again after that day, you know? I kept my promise.” 

Neteyam freezes in place, a shocked expression marring his features. You heard him, even with your back to him, even while playing and with the soft hum of the river to dull your senses, you knew. Felt him, his presence that charged this clearing like the air before lighting strike. He, however, does not seem to hear the hint of sadness in your voice, nor the sniffling that accompanies it. 

“It took me a while to figure out you weren’t going to come back. It did not dawn on me right away. I thought you were just training hard, as you had been for years at that point, I didn’t think anything of it. I only figured it out a month after I played you this song, when my birthday came and you didn’t show. I waited all day. Way past eclipse, way past the point everyone else was gone and sleeping peacefully, I waited. I didn’t sleep that night. I was afraid I was going to miss you and no one would be able to let you through the door. It never occurred to me you wouldn’t show - not until the dawn of the next day. That’s when it hit.”

“I remember singing you this song, I was terrified. I mean, we talked around it all of our lives, I sang you songs, and I read you poems, and you’d sleep in my bed and let me attach myself to you in a way no friend ever would. But this song, I thought, would be the one. The one that would make us finally have to talk through it. The night before, I had watched an episode of Gilmore Girls, right? And it’s that episode when Dean pitches up at Rory’s school after she drops him hints that she’s in love with him, and he gets mad for one reason or another and then she screams at him “I love you, you idiot!”. And he drops all the stuff he was holding and rushes to her and kisses her, like really kisses her. And I remember thinking, I’m going to sing you this song, and this will be my “I love you, you idiot” moment.”

Neteyam walked slowly towards your form that was still turned around from him, and felt two forces tugging at him, ripping him apart. On one hand, there was the rage, and jealousy, the monster that wanted to scream at you, to hurt you for breaking his heart without even acknowledging it. On the other, there was deep sadness and grief, for the new information that he is receiving, for knowing what this meant to you, what he did to you, how he left you the day that you confessed, how that only strengthened his resolve. He didn’t know which was going to win. 

“I never had any expectations. I was never delusional enough to think that you would ever choose me. But I did have dreams. And in the dreams, you told me you loved me too, and that whatever it was, we would always be able to work through it together. That day after my birthday, I felt like something ripped apart in me that I’ve never recovered from. I’ve lost so much of myself throughout the years, every time something new came up. I’ve been in pieces, broken and shattered, my whole life, and yet somehow you managed to walk away with the biggest piece. Because I could never put you in a drawer at the bottom of my desk, like all my other pieces. You were never truly gone, you were just far enough that I could never reach you, but near enough that I could never heal. I mourned you, mourned the me that you took with you, every day for months. Losing you broke me, Neteyam. You broke me. I will never forgive you for that night.”

“Well I guess we’re both fucking disappointed with each other then.” 

Neteyam saw you shoulders hunch even more than they were and your head bow towards the ground. You hand raised to your cheeks and wiped something off your face, before you finally stood up and and turned around, facing him. Neteyam’s breath caught in his throat at the new sight. Your eyes were puffy and red, and tears marked your cheeks, so pronounced it was as if they would stain your face forever. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

He felt his own tears threatening to spill then, pricking at his eyes painfully, begging to be released. There was so much pain inside of him, pain you caused him, pain for the hurt he knew he caused you, pain that felt like it will never diminish. 

“You’re sitting here, talking about that night and this song, in this place that once meant so much to us, after giving yourself to another man, to my fucking brother, and you want me to feel bad?”

He saw your face slowly register his words, as if you were mulling over every word carefully, turning it in your mind, and saw how your face went from sad to cold and unflinching and a shiver ran down his spine. You rose an eyebrow at him, an expression only he seemed to have the power to coax out of you. 

“What did you just say?” 

“You heard me. I saw you. I saw you in the forest, his hands all over you, I saw you running your hand up and down his arm. I’ve known he has been sneaking in your tent for weeks. What are you doing with my baby brother in your tent late at night, Y/N?”

FIVE STAGES OF GRIEF STAGE II: ANGER

“You honestly have some fucking nerve, Neteyam.” 

“You do not get to come here, come to this place, or any place for that matter and demand an explanation from me. I don’t owe you anything. You fucking left, Neteyam! We’re nothing to each other. Whatever claim or right you might have had once to ask anything of me or from me is long gone.” 

Neteyam stalked towards where you were standing, your words echoing in his mind. He was mad, mad at you for what you did, but also mad at himself. Because he knew you were right. He had no right to come here after abandoning you and the relationship you two had and be angry that you moved on. And yet he was. 

He was so close to you now he could feel your breath fanning over his face as you looked up at him, panting with anger, lips slightly opened. He couldn’t help look at them, those lips he has dreamed about for years, the way they’d feel on him, their taste… your taste. It was driving him insane, being so close to you, knowing what he knew. 

“Why? Why Lo’ak? You could have picked anyone else.”

You chuckled bitterly. “Really? So if I picked Akoa or Tärze, you wouldn’t be here right now, wouldn’t be mad and looking at me like somehow I betrayed you?” 

“Or is it possible it doesn’t actually matter who it is, it’s not the fact that it’s Lo’ak… it’s the fact it’s not you.” 

“You see, I think deep down you know it should have been you. I think deep down it kills you that you are not in my tent late at night. You’re not the one that gets to touch me.” he felt your hand place over his bare chest and run it down his abdomen until it reached his red loin cloth, which you slightly tugged at. He felt his cock twitch in response. 

You don’t know what came over you. You came here to mourn, still reeling after your conversation with Lo’ak. You never expected to see him here, hear his presence while you sang the song that once signified hope and love, and now is just a bitter reminder of all you’ve lost. You definitely never expected him to question you over Lo’ak, or be so angry over something that would never happen anyway. 

You were furious with him, furious that he never told you how he felt for you, and now he was clearly showing it to you by his displays of anger and jealousy. This was not how this was supposed to go. 

You felt a sick satisfaction at his demeanour. You made him like this, this angry, nose flared and panted breaths, you had this power over him. Just the thought of you with another man drove him to this point, and you loved it. He deserved it, deserves much worse. 

“You should leave, Neteyam.”

You started turning your back to him, but he took hold of your arm and kept you in place forcefully. His other hand went to your neck, and you felt him wrapping his hand around it and squeezing. 

“No.” 

You were shocked at his actions, and even more shocked at the immediate reaction your body had to him. You felt throbbing deep within you, and squeezed your thighs tightly together to accommodate for the feeling. 

“I’m not leaving until you tell me. Did you fuck my brother, Atan (light)?” 

He was still squeezing your throat, and you felt your pulse quickening when he moved and took a hold of you jaw, forcing you to look in his eyes. He looked mad, sad, desperate for an answer that would either mend or break him. You felt his intense stare in every cell in your body and felt yourself clench around nothing. 

You wanted to lie, wanted to see him suffer at least some of the hurt he’s caused you. But you couldn’t, not with how he was looking at you, not with how he was holding you. 

“Fuck you, Neteyam. I would never do that. Fuck you for thinking for a second that something like would ever even cross my mi-“

It wasn’t possible for you to finish the sentence, as his lips roughly slammed against yours, and you immediately, as if your body needed no input from your mind, raised your hands to the circle around his neck, pushing him closer to you. 

You moaned into the kiss, and the sound removed any ounce of sanity or self-discipline from his being, and he opened his mouth to deepen the kiss and slide his tongue over your bottom lip, begging for permission. 

He felt his hand drop back around your throat, squeezing, loving the feel of your quickened pulse, knowing he was responsible for it, for your swollen lips and dilated pupils, for the way you were squeezing your thighs together. You were his, to love, to touch, to do whatever he wanted to. 

He was so hard now, his loincloth was constricting around him painfully, and he knew if he kept going, he was not going to able to stop himself until you were writhing underneath him, until he made you beg and scream his name over and over, all night long. 

“Pathfinder, this is Devil Dog, come in, over.” 

Fuck. 

Your body ached at the loss of contact, as Neteyam removed his hand from around your throat and his lips from your own. He was panting, and tried to steady himself before he touched the little button on the radio on his neck, sighing deeply. 

“I’m here, Devil Dog. What’s your post? Over.” 

You turned your back to him, and took a few steps towards the river, trying to compose yourself. What the fuck did I just do? This was bad, for so many reasons, it was making you dizzy just counting them all. You couldn’t hear what Jake was saying to Neteyam, but it couldn’t have been good, it was very rare Jake would use the radio to communicate with his kids, you’ve only seen it once when there was a hunting accident that needed everyone’s attention. 

“You need to get back to the village, now. We have a situation. If Y/N is with you, bring her back, too. Over and out.” 

Shit, this can’t be good, Neteyam thought to himself. He looked over at you and saw you turned your back to him, hiding. You were good at that, pretending, denying, avoiding. Pushing your feelings aside was your favourite defence mechanism, had been ever since your mum died. 

His eyes softened and he felt stupid for having doubted you, for spending so many weeks losing sleep over something that never even happened. Guilt also immediately pooled in his gut from the kiss, the confession, the implications of it, all of which things he would have to deal with sooner or later. The horror at the thought of the consequences of his actions made his skin crawl, but he didn’t have too much time to dwell on it, knowing his dad expected them to hurry.

“Hey… we have to get back, dad said to meet him in the village.”

You nodded weakly in his direction, and started making your way towards the village. Once again, he found himself having to clasp your arm by your wrist and turn you around so you could face him. You refused to look at him, so he cupped your face in his hand and raised you head gently so you could look at him. His thumb was ghosting over your lips, that were still swollen and when his eyes met yours, he saw a sadness so deep it made Pandora’s oceans feel like shallow pools. 

“We need to talk, properly talk.” 

You just nodded silently and removed his hand from your face, and the last thing he saw was your back, walking away. 

You were deep in thought as you arrived in the village, and were pulled out of your musings when you saw a big commotion happening all around you. You have never seen the village like this.

There was a crowd of people by the big bonfire, so that’s where you and Neteyam figured to look first. 

“…and no matter what comes next, we will stand and fight, together!” You heard big screams and ululating as Jake’s voice boomed throughout the village, above all the noise. 

You saw Norm and Max, all the humans and avatars on the right of the Olo’yektan. On his left stood Mo’at, Neytiri and all their children, plus Spider. Lo’ak was screaming and beating his chest, whilst Kiri looked concerned, and Tuk was almost crying, with a tight grip on her mum’s hand. You made your way through the mass of people, reaching the foot of the large tree stump acting like a platform. Jake spotted you and helped you up, and you saw Neteyam following you from the corner of your eye. 

Since the speech was done, people started dissipating, and Jake turned his attention to the pair of you. 

“Last night, Neytiri and I spotted a star in the night sky that shone brighter than it ever had before.” 

Panic rose in your chest at his words, words that you knew could only mean one thing. “The humans are returning.” you said, meekly. 

Jake nodded in your direction with anger flashing across his face, before he composed himself. 

“We knew this day was coming, but it is definitely different when it is finally happening than the image you had in your head.” you heard Norm pitch in from somewhere behind Jake. 

“How long?” Neteyam asked. 

“About a week?” Max said, and the man with such a kind and gentle face was scared, you realised sadly. Everyone was scared. 

“Fuck.” Neteyam’s face was unreadable. The war he trained all his life for was finally on his doorstep. 

“I need you to complete your Iknimaya before then. Tomorrow, you will go perform your first kill. You are more than ready. It’s time. When the humans come, I need you with me. With us.”

You couldn’t swallow the lump that has formed in your throat enough to speak, so you just nodded. You were not ready. The last time you were on an Ikran, you almost died. You felt the phantom pain on your left leg flare up, and you were terrified at the prospect of another flashback triggering as you were fighting for your life on top of the Hallelujah mountains, trying to make the bond. 

The crowd eventually dispersed and everybody went back to their homes. There was a heaviness in the air, no smiles or singing tonight, no communal dinner where people animatedly exchange stories and anecdotes; you saw Na’vi hugging their loved ones, keeping them close at all times, as if letting go would mean letting go forever. The war was upon you, and with it, the possibility of loss and grief settled in the bones of every one of the villagers. 

You felt sick to your stomach. A shiver ran through your entire body, and, at the weakness that enveloped your being suddenly, you knew the effects of all the pills you took to mitigate your symptoms have worn off. The dizziness you felt was more than just a weak headache you could ride out, but a sign your human body was fighting to maintain the neurolink inside the pod. You didn’t have much time. 

“I’m gonna go to bed. See you all tomorrow.” You needed to be in your tent when you passed out, otherwise it would raise suspicion immediately and you couldn’t afford that. 

“Hey, you can’t leave. We still need to talk.” Neteyam said, lightly tugging at your arm. 

“Not today, Neteyam.” You removed your limb from his grasp and left without giving him a second look. 

You were pulled out of the linkpod quite violently by your own body recoiling in agony. You felt a stupid ping of gratefulness at the fact that, although due to horrible news, at least no one was in the lab or adjacent hubs at the current moment. You struggled to get up, and found the walk back to your room excruciating, like no matter how much you walked, it was not anywhere in sight. When you arrived, you went straight to the bathroom and barely managed to make it to the toilet before throwing up, your body violently convulsing in on itself, trying to expel everything from your body. You haven’t had a proper meal in this body in months, so all your body was managing to get rid of was bile, bitter and acidic on your tongue. 

When you were done, you pushed your body weakly towards the sink, and gargled the bad taste away with some water and mouth wash. You peered up at the mirror, and were alarmed by the face that met your gaze. You barely recognised yourself. Your face looked ghastly, the palest you have ever been, the hollows of your cheeks looking like pits of shadows and darkness. 

Your under-eye bags gave away how little sleep you were actually functioning under, how little rest you actually got in the last few months. You looked truly sick, although you didn’t know how much of that was the virus and how much it was just you… ignoring your body like you ignored everything that you had to work through, everything that required healing and spiritual effort, and trading it for a easy-to-digest fantasy.

You made your way towards your bed limply and was comforted by the bottles of pills you saw on your bedside table, that will provide fleeting relief. You passed out on the bed soon after, happy that the suffering could be over for at least some hours. 

You woke up a couple of hours before dawn, with a raging fever and chills running up and down your spine, and instead of struggling back to sleep, you got up slowly and put some clothes on, making your way towards the labs. Today was an important day, and you needed to be focused for it, you couldn’t afford the same thing as yesterday take place. In the medical ward, you scrambled in the drawers until you found what you were searching for. The holy grail, injectable morphine. You hastily grabbed a syringe and a needle, measured out the amount needed, shook the syringe to remove any air bubbles, and directed it to your arm, where you injected it in your vein. Placebo effect or not, you felt immediate relief, and you knew this would put you through the day. 

Norm came to the linkpod to help with the neurolink, and he gave you a worried look as he watched you settle in. 

“I think you should be taking a break from this.”

“Are you serious right now? The humans are literally circling the atmosphere as we speak, I can’t afford to take breaks now, you know this.”

“What I know is that you look about a week away from collapsing in my arms, and your Avatar won’t work without you, Ace. You’re always in the village, and you don’t sleep. You’re always running experiments when you are here. Look, I love your enthusiasm, and I love that you’ve finally getting outside and enjoying your life, but there’s also too much of a good thing.” 

You were started to feel anger pick at your brain, much like the virus you were carrying with you everywhere you went. 

“You made this for me. You made me this Avatar. You guilt tripped me into taking it. Now you’re unhappy I’m using the Avatar. Why don’t you make up your mind and let me know, Norm? In the meantime, I have to go.”

You lay in the on the pod and placed the metal frame on top of your body, and you couldn’t miss the tear that fell on Norm’s face as he closed the lid of the pod. 

It was still before dawn when your consciousness woke up in the blue body you’ve come to love so much, and you couldn’t help feel immense guilt at the words you spat at Norm. He doesn’t deserve any of this; he has been a surrogate uncle for you ever since you were born. He made you an Avatar, he built you a guitar. He helped you go outside and live your life, he was always there for you if you needed to talk, or vent. He has always believed in you, in your capacity to help, to do good, to overcome your grief. You would have to apologise to him come nighttime. 

You saw Jake make his way to you as you opened the flap to your tent. “Hi, kid.” Tensions were running high, you could tell, as Jake did not smile or make light conversation, as he always tended to do. He would always take the time to check in, to make sure you are doing well, which you appreciated massively. You loved having him and the rest of the family around. It felt like you belonged, for the first time in your life. 

“So you, Neteyam, Akoa and Heesu will go and they will watch you perform your first kill. Early tomorrow, we will go take the Iknimaya, and then you will be able to join Neteyam on raids and scouting. How’s that sound?”

“Sounds good, boss.” You saw him crack a tiny smile at that, and felt better you could still make him smile, even in these circumstances.

Neteyam came out of the tent looking… so good it made your mouth fill with saliva. He was holding his bow tightly in his hands, and he was adorning new jewellery, you noted. A beautiful black necklace, filled with beads and impressive craftsmanship, his red and green cummerbund tightly wrapped around his ribcage, and his knife tucked on his hip, all came together to bring about Neteyam Te Sulli Tsyeyk’itan, the future leader of the Omaticaya. But what really drew your eye, was a bracelet. A green bracelet that he kept around his arm, whose every bead and stone was imprinted in your mind, for the rest of time. Why was he wearing that bracelet, why now? What was he trying to tell you?

Neteyam found his gaze drawn to the girl next to his dad, the only girl that existed, as far as he was concerned. He barely slept last night thinking of you, of that kiss, of your confession, of the song, and he knew he had to make it right sooner rather than later. The humans were coming, not one of them knew what their lives were going to look like in a few weeks, and there was so much to set straight, the thought made him nauseated again. He had to tell you. Your eyes found his and he saw many emotions passing through them, and was happy to see at least one of them was passion, and yearning. You looked at him like you wanted to do things Eywa would disapprove of, and he felt himself twitch in pain for what felt like the millionth time recently. 

Neteyam led the pack away from the village and towards the forest where you would have to make your first kill. He had no doubt in his mind you would do well, he honestly doesn’t know why it has taken so long to do it to begin with. You’ve been ready for weeks. After stalking quietly through the forest for a couple of hours, you found a herd of Yerik. Neteyam closed his gap on you and placed a hand on your back, smiling to himself at the way you shuddered when he did. 

“You’ve got this. We’ve been through this and you are ready. Remember, keep a knee on the ground for support. Good luck.”

You nodded without looking at him, eyes plastered on one of the animals peacefully grazing on a bush. He saw you, focused and determined, aiming the arrow with precision and power, and he knew then you were made for this. You were made to be here, as one of the people, you were meant to be Na’vi. 

You made quick work of the kill, and immediately got up from your crouched stance and made your way to the now fatally injured Yerik. You removed your knife from where it was placed on your chest, and repeated the words he taught you weeks ago. “Oel ngati kameie, ma tsmukan, ulte ngaru seiyi irayo (I See you, Brother, and thank you). Ngari hu Eywa salew tirea, tokx 'ì'awn slu Na'viyä hapxì (Your spirit goes with Eywa, your body stays behind to become part of the People).”

Perfect, just like he knew you would do. You were nervous, he noted, but you also seemed happy to have finally done it, after all this time training. All four of you made your way back to the village, the two men accompanying you carrying the animal by its legs. Neteyam wanted to talk to you, wanted to get you alone so he can finally tell you all the things he had to say, that he needed to say, the secret that has plagued him for weeks and that drove a wedge between him and his baby brother. Unfortunately, it seems like the universe fated you to never be alone with him again. Right after you arrived at the village, Jake took all of you to gun practice and through strategy meetings about how to plan an attack once the Sky People decelerated. Those lasted the whole day, and before he knew it, you left to your tent again, leaving him to deal with his dad on his own. 

“Neteyam. Stay, I want to talk to you.”

“Yes, Senpul (dad)?”

“Did you tell her yet?” 

“Not yet. I’m trying to find some time, but it seems like we are never together alone anymore.”

Neteyam saw his dad sighing heavily and was scared for the hell he knew would rain down on him sooner or later.

“Neteyam, you have to tell her. You have asked us to keep your secret, and we have. We have all participated in this, and I am getting tired of lying for you. The kids don’t want to lie to her anymore, your mother doesn’t want for this to be a secret anymore. She deserves to know.” 

“You will tell her by the end of the week, or I will.” 

Your body convulsed as your mind woke up in your human form, and you tried to hide it as best as you could so whoever was helping you get disconnected wouldn’t notice. To your disappointment, it was Max. 

“Hey, sweetheart. How was it today?”

“Good, made the first kill. Going up the Iknimaya tomorrow, which can’t say I am particularly excited about.” 

“Oh, honey, you shouldn’t worry about it. It’s going to be completely different than that dreadful day. You are going to be able to control it, you will be connected to it. Plus Toruk has never been spotted this close to the banshee rookery, so there will be nothing making your Ikran nervous.”

“Yeah, guess you are right.” You said, not wanting to tell Max that rationalising it doesn’t achieve anything except making you feel stupid for being scared. “Where’s Norm?”

Max looked agitated for a second, but tried to compose himself enough to appear nonchalant about the subject. “Um, I think he’s in his room, he told me he wants to read this book he still hasn’t gotten around to, if you can believe that. He's been here for almost 19 years, you’d think there’s be nothing new to do here anymore.” 

You hoped you weren’t as bad a liar as seemingly everyone you have come across recently, otherwise your illness is not as much of a secret as you’d hoped. 

“He told you.”

“Yeah…” 

“I was such a dick. I have to apologise. I’ll go find him.”

“Maybe give him some time? He looked really upset, and I think he just needs to lick his wounds by himself for a while.”

“I didn’t mean it, Max. I am just tired and stressed because of the Iknimaya and the humans returning, not that that’s any excuse.” 

“I know, honey. He will be alright, just give it time. Time heals everything.”

You could only pray that was the case, for Norm….and for yourself.

You woke up the next morning groggy, feeling sick from your illness and sick from all the pills you ingested last night. If this was starting to be a problem, it was a problem you were gonna have to deal with later. Pandora’s box can hold a couple more issues for the time being. You made your way quietly to the medical ward and found the morphine vial you used yesterday. Withdrawing a few more millilitres, you injected yourself in the arm with it, instant relief flooding your system. You sighed happily and thought this was probably the closest you’ve ever gotten to feeling euphoric. 

Your Avatar body looked ready to tackle the Iknimaya, in all new garbs and a new necklace that Kiri made for you recently, as well as Lo’ak’s visors. Tuk and Neytiri were braiding your hair fresh, so you were all ready to go by the end of the eclipse. Feeling how nervous you were, Neytiri put her hand on your heart, and looked into your eyes and she placed the last feather in your hair. 

“It will be alright, ma 'ite. You have done better than any other Dream Walker ever has. Even better than the Toruk Makto. I know you are scared because of what happened in the past, but you have grown so much since then. You are such a special child, a gift from Eywa. There’s light in you no darkness can snuff out, and you were made to be one of us. Do not worry.” 

You let out a small cry and hugged the woman that could have been your mother in these 9 years after you lost your own, who has loved you and protected you every chance she got, that wanted to take you in the village and raise you as one of the people, but who you pushed away out of fear, out of terror at the possibility of more loss, more pain. She never held a grudge, she never turned her back on you, even after shunning them from your life, she understood you and welcomed you back with open arms as soon as you felt ready to join them. She saw you. You will never be able to repay her kindness.

“We’ll be with you. Kiri and I will fly and bring Tuk on one of our Ikrans. Spider, Lo’ak, Neteyam and Jake will come on their Pa’li with you and make the climb. It will be good practice for them. We all want to celebrate with you. We can all join you on your first flight, so this way it will be less scary.” 

You were fully crying in the crook of her neck now, unable to believe the luck you had to having been born somewhere where the Sullys existed at the same time. There was a lot of pain in your life, but this family would always be your good karma, it seemed. 

The climb was the most excruciating thing you have ever had to do. Every muscle in your body was pushed to its limits, and you were beginning to wonder how you were supposed to fight a huge animal after all of this. You understand now this is why this was the ultimate test of becoming a hunter, and why there were not many hunters in the Omatikaya. The thought brought a gust of confidence to your mind - you were doing this. You. You’ve gotten so far, further than any scientist on Pandora ever has. You grew up in a lab with severe agoraphobia and unsolved trauma and you still made it here. You will do this, because you have to. Because you’ve come so far. 

It was taking every ounce of discipline to not continuously stop and stare at the beauty of the Hallelujah mountains, that you have heard so much about, but never experienced for yourself, and you realised you needed to swallow often to compensate for the dryness you felt from your mouth being stuck agape in awe at the beauteous miracle. 

You found yourself peering up at Neteyam frequently throughout the climb, and thoughts about yesterday made your already drugged-out mind even airier. There was so much to think about, so much to talk about, but you couldn’t handle it right now. You couldn’t handle the consequences of that kiss and the hurt that would inevitably emerge from your star-crossed fate. You were dying. Although you didn’t want to think about it, didn’t want to acknowledge the reality that your body was falling apart in front of you, it was happening. You probably had another couple of weeks before your heart gave out from all the strain the virus was putting on your whole body, just like it happened with all the other victims. 

As if he could feel you, Neteyam turned around and gave you a nervous look. You wondered what he thought of everything, how he felt. Was he happy about the kiss? Did he regret it? In his defence, he has been wanting to talk to you for days and you avoided him, unable to deal with him at the moment. He will just have to be another trinket in the Pandora’s box until you finished the Iknimaya. Making it to a large suspended boulder before you, he stretched out a strong arm for you, and you took it, happy to have at least some physical contact between you. His touch has always calmed your nerves, from when you were children, and now, as adults, that still hasn’t changed. 

He didn’t let go once you climbed next to him. Taking advantage of the fact you two were the last to climb, he took hold of your arm with one hand, and placed the other on your face, cupping it gently. His thumb found its way to your lips again, caressing them softly and you felt intoxicated from his touch. He brought his face close to yours and brought your foreheads together, breathing you in. You stood like this, staring at each other for a while, and it was like all the words you wanted to say to each other were spoken wordlessly. I love you. I see you. I’m sorry. 

“Are you guys coming or what?” You heard Spider screaming from a higher up boulder, and you reluctantly let go. He squeezed your arm one more time, and then motioned for you to climb in front of him. You weren’t far off now, you realised, and felt your heart picking up pace in your ribcage. 

Soon enough, you were there. You could hear thousands of banshees screaming and cooing, and you thought it was mirroring your internal dialogue quite well, loud and incoherent. Neteyam held a hand in front of your body as you made your way across a narrow ledge behind a waterfall, that connected the cave to the banshee nest. 

“Ok, kid. This is it. Are you ready?” Jake began speaking and you were trying to focus on him instead of the panicked feeling rising in your chest. 

As you were preparing to respond, you heard loud ululating from the sky, and immediately saw two beautiful banshees making their way to the mountain and settling in the cave you just left behind. You smiled at the view, excited that Neytiri, Kiri and Tuk could make it in time. They followed you to the nest and you brought your curled fingers to your forehead, greeting them warmly. I see you.

“Good luck, sister! I cannot wait to fly with you!” Tuk’s enthusiasm never failed to bring a wide smile to your face. 

You looked around at all the people who have travelled so far to come and be with you on this day. Your family, for all intents and purposes. You felt tears coming, but pushed them away with a sigh, trying to toughen your resolve. You gave one last look to Lo’ak, who was watching you sadly, the pain from yesterday still fresh in both your minds. You loved him so much, and hoped he would be able to forgive you in time. You touched his gift, now resting on your forehead, and gave him a grateful smile and a wink. He cracked a small grin and you knew then that your relationship wasn’t totally in ruins. 

“This is it, Atan. Now you must choose your Ikran. If it also chooses you, move quick, like I’ve showed you. You will have one chance. I will be behind you in case you need any help. Please don’t fall off a cliff, I don’t think my heart could take it again.” 

You laughed a little at his attempt of diffusing a situation. It wasn’t his best attribute. 

“Ok then, let’s dance.” 

Neteyam watched as you made your way through the Ikrans, and how they all flew away in fear at your sight - beautiful banshees that made him miss his own and reminisce about his own Iknimaya. You looked ready - powerful and confident, like you have always belonged here, with them. You were swinging your yìmkxa (mouth binder) and approaching each Ikran forcefully, hissing at them to hopefully provoke the right one. Eventually, a big banshee, bigger than his and most others he’s seen around, turns around to face you and does not remove itself from your path in the same way all the others had. It is a beautiful animal, white and gold with purple and pink wings and green stripes on its head, it looked different than any other in the village. Fitting, he thought. This was it.

He heard a loud hiss coming from where you were stood. The Ikran hissed back wildly and charged towards you. His heart was getting ready to exit his body at its speed and power, and he was panting in fear and anticipation, ready to jump in at any moment’s notice, in case you needed it. He saw you remove yourself quickly, skilfully, out of the animal’s way and wrap the yìmkxa around its mouth. Good, first step done. 

You then took a hold of your queue and jumped on the Ikran’s back, placing your thighs around its neck and squeezing with all of your might. The Ikran wrung its neck in an attempt to escape you, but you worked on this for months preparing for this day - you were not letting go. Neteyam saw the banshee make its way towards the edge of a cliff, and you wrapped the arm that wasn’t holding the queue around its neck for more support. 

Neteyam felt like he was going to pass out from the stress, and saw the next moments happen in slow motion, just like almost 7 years ago when you fell mid flight: the ikran managing to drop off the cliff, his wailing scream and immediate desire to join you, the hands of his mother and father wrapping around him keeping him in place, his own ikran dropping from a cliff at the sound of his call, him removing his parents’ hands forcefully and running towards his banshee, scrapping his arm painfully on the rock and the stabbing throb that followed, the feeling of a fresh injury and blood spilling down his arm, and yet still, no other thoughts in his mind than the need to save you, to right his past wrongs. 

He makes the bond quickly and before anyone could stop him, he’s in the air, flying around the rock and beneath it, trying to see where you could be. He was shocked to find you still on your ikran, holding for dear life while the animal was flying upside down, shaking itself furiously to get rid of you. He saw you drop the arm you were using to hold on to it, only managing to hold on by the strength in your thighs, and connected the queues with a loud yell.

“STOP!” He heard you scream. “TURN AROUND, NOW!” 

He couldn’t believe his eyes. You made your Tsaheylu, upside down, mid-flight. He watched as the banshee turned around and made its way back to where his family was, and he still had no words he could say to explain or describe what he was feeling in that moment. It was beyond words. He felt his arm twitching painfully and he quickly looked at it and saw the deep scratch that was leaking blood and staining his loincloth where his arm was laying. 

You did it. You actually did it. This little prick came at you with all her might and you still held on to her. You learnt a lesson or two from riding a banshee as a 13 year old defenceless human, and the most important lesson was: hold on for dear life. Good to see it came in handy. You also made it a point to thank Neteyam for making you hang upside down in trees to shoot down targets, you can see now it helped. You landed at the base of the rookery and watched as every one of your family members was smiling and yelling, cheering loudly for your accomplishment. They looked so happy, and you couldn’t help shed a small tear and the sight. 

These were your people, for the remainder of this short life, and you were happy you got to do this before you went. Happy you got to see them together, for you. You looked around at Neteyam and couldn’t see him, but then heard a loud, excited yelp from behind you. He looked so happy and proud, your heart swelled at the sight. This man would be the death of you, you knew. You loved him so much, and you knew it was time, time to talk through it. 

“First flight seals the bond.” he screams over the noise of the banshees and the waterfall. “Let’s go.”

The entire family called for their ikrans, and in less than a minute, you were airborne. You told your banshee to fly gently and straight, and held on tightly to her neck while you tried to adjust to all these new overwhelming emotions. The feeling of flying was incredible, so much more so than you remembered. Maybe because this time you were in control. The feeling of the Tsaheylu... Lo’ak was right, it was so much stronger than the Pa’li, the connection you had with this animal. You knew you were bonded for life, shared a kinship and bond no one could break until one of you died, maybe even after. The feeling of belonging, as you watched 5 other ikran fly alongside yours and help you through your first of many adventures in the sky. You felt grateful and happy to have made it so far before the inevitable end.

You made it at the village soon after eclipse, laughing and dancing while you walked back, hand in hand with Kiri who was rolling her eyes at you but joining in anyway. Tuk was holding your other hand, and you lifted her up and carried her all the way back while she played with your braids. 

As you arrived to your tent, you saw the rest of the family go into their own, with the promise you’d join after dropping all of your stuff. Neteyam stayed behind, closing his distance to you and only stopping when he was so close to you his chin was touching your forehead. It was only then you saw his arm, dried blood spilt everywhere and marring his beautiful blue stripes. His loincloth was also red, you noted, and saw the gash that was the culprit, high on his arm, still red and bleeding, although not enough to justify this much blood. It must have been bleeding for a while.

“What the hell happened to you?!” You said with a panicked voice.

“It’s nothing, don’t worry about it.” 

You raised and eyebrow at him and rolled you eyes, and pulled him to your tent by his uninjured arm. 

“Sit. I will clean and stitch it and then we can go for dinner.” 

He did as he was told, quietly sitting on the ground while you gathered supplies: some gauze, disinfectant, numbing cream, stitches and a needle driver, as well as some forceps and scissors. He squirmed at the sight, and you rolled your eyes again.

“You drive me crazy when you roll your eyes at me, you know? I would kill to be the reason your eyes roll in the back of your head at night.”

You blushed at his words, and sat next to him on the ground.

“You have to stop, Neteyam. We can’t do this again.”

You turned your focus on his wound, and began cleaning it slowly so as to not injure him further. 

“I can’t stop, Atan. I can’t think of anything else. I have so much I want to say to you, so much I need to get off my chest.”

He sounded sad, desperate for you to hear him out, his eyes pleading and pained. 

“How about we talk, after dinner? This time, you can be the one sneaking in my tent late at night.” you said sarcastically, not having forgotten his outburst from earlier and realising you were still angry at him for it. 

“Yes, please.” 

You sat in silence the rest of the time, as you worked with skilled, focused hands. You stitched his wound carefully, so as to not leave him with a scar. When you finished, you smiled up at him, and reached your hand to touch his face, moving a strand of beaded hair from it and pushing it behind his ear. He was so, so beautiful. He brought a hand to your chin and was pulling you closer, when someone entered the tent without making their presence known, making you both jolt back in shock. It was a girl. You’ve seen her before in the village, she was a healer in training. Beautiful and skilled, she was a good singer and a good craftswoman, making a lot of the clothes the Na’vi hunters wore. 

“Oh, Great Mother, here you are! Your mother told me about your injury, and I had to come find you so I could help!” She kneeled down on the other side of Neteyam from where you were sitting and touched Neteyam’s chest, moving him around looking for the bleed, that was no longer there. 

“Oh, it seems much better now than what was described. I guess it’s true what they say, you really are that skilled.” She turned her attention to you and smiled. 

“Thank you. I don’t think we’ve properly met.”

“You’re right, my bad! I’m Tiongli. Neteyam’s mate.” 

It was so quiet in the room now, you were sure they could both hear your heart break into a million pieces. 

Tag list: @nuhteyam @eywas-heir @fanboyluvr @mashiromochi @puffb4ll @sassy-persona @simp4ff @mommyneytiri @k----a27s

#neteyam #neteyam x reader #neteyam x human!reader #neteyam fanfic #neteyam fanfiction #neteyam sully #neteyam x avatar!reader #neteyam sully fanfiction #avatar the way of water #avatar fanfic #neteyam avatar #avatar twow #neteyam angst #neteyam smut

[multifandomfanfic]

Hii could you please write something of Leo Messi x daughter reader maybe something like it’s her 18th birthday so leo and anto and like remembering cute moments from when she was a kid to now it can be an Insta au too or anything you’re most comfortable with! Thank youu ❤️

leomessi

liked by yourusername, sergioramos, joelinacardoso26, and 28,102,985 others

leomessi: (translated from Spanish) Happy birthday to my favorite girl. Seeing you every day for the past eighteen years has brought so much joy and happiness into my life. You have been the most perfect daughter--I will never forget the first time I held you, or when I taught you how to swim despite you being so scared, or when we went to your school dances in matching outfits you picked, or when we sped down the road after you first got your license (and all the other things we've done that I haven't told your mother about). I can't wait for another eighteen years being your dad.

yourusername: i love you dad!! i'm sorry i made you wear that blue suit 😅

leomessi: As long as you were happy, I'm happy.

antonelaroccuzzo: What do I not know about?

yourusername: great and wonderful and totally legal father-daughter things comment liked by leomessi antonelaroccuzzo: I need to talk to your father.

psg: A very happy birthday from all of PSG!

yourusername: thank you guys ♥

fanaccount1: happy birthday, @/yourusername!

yourusername posted to their story

antonelaroccuzzo

liked by yourusername, leomessi, psg, and 3,291,219 others

antonelaroccuzzo: (translated from Spanish) Forever grateful for the best daughter in the whole world! Every year, we've made a special birthday breakfast together. I will always remember your little toddler face covered in flour, and the time you decided to save some of your pancakes for the birds. I hope you were surprised by every food from the past years waiting for you this morning--even if we didn't make them together! I love you, y/n, and I am so lucky to be your mom. 💕

yourusername: i love you too mom! and i loved the breakfast :)

comment liked by leomessi and antonelaroccuzzo

neymarjr: So this is why Leo was so worried about when bakeries close yesterday...

yourusername: omg you're joking k.mbappe: nope, he was totally freaking out

fanaccount2: i wish i was her 😍

fanaccount3: and this is just breakfast??

yourusername added to their story

yourusername

liked by leomessi, antonelaroccuzzo, yourbestfriend, and 1,826,146 others

yourusername: (translated from Spanish) who's got better drip?

antonelaroccuzzo: Wasn't that old picture taken before your first horse-riding lesson? When you fell off the horse and landed in a pile of mud?

comment liked by leomessi yourusername: the world doesn't need to know about that mom antonelaroccuzzo: But you were so cute!

pablogavi: the second one

yourusername: thank you 🥰 pablogavi: of course :)

fanaccount4: you're so pretty

fanaccount5: happy birthday!! 🎉

yourusername added to their story

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[ecoamerica]

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[jester-lover]

Hi I hope you’re doing well! ^^

I saw that your requests were open and o was wondering if you had any hc with L.j with a chubby/plus size fem reader who’s really insecure about their weight and how they look 24/7 nsfw or not, it’s totally okay! ^^

I’m dealing with severe body dysmorphia right now and I feel like I keep getting worse.

I love your writing so much and the way you write everyone, and I just wanted to say to keep the amazing work!💕

Feel free to delete it if it’s not something you’re comfy to write for! I’d completely understand

As always, stay safe and remember to hydrate <3

Pretty Lady

Cw/female reader, angst, fluff, insecurities, comfort, SFW, body image issues, food/eating/weight mention, this post is a bit longer than my other ones, because I personally wanted to write it

Laughing Jack x fem! Chubby! Reader

Hey nonnie, I know how difficult it feels to not belong in your own self, especially when it comes to weight. I know how repetitive the ‘your beautiful!’ comments can get, even if they are absolutely true. So I’ll just let you know that I wholeheartedly hope that you find happiness with yourself, that you find contentment with yourself. This is something I wish I heard in my times of trouble. You are completely free and valid to feel however you feel, but please know that there is always something beautiful in the world waiting for you.

Jack is such a tender hearted fool for you

His soul is wrapped around yours in an everlasting hug, and he’s forever grateful you chose to keep him around

What confuses him at first is your sudden reluctance to accept the little hard candies he makes specially for you

Jack tries to think of the reasons why you’d reject his treats, perhaps you have developed a new taste?

To his surprise, when he goes to your room to ask about it, he discovers a saddening scene

Clothes scatter your bedroom as you sit on your bed in your pajamas, crying into your hands

Your breathing begins catching, which takes him from his trance as he reaches to stroke your back and press you against his comforting form

“Dearie? What's the matter? Are you hurt?”

Jack will wait as long as you need to, letting you cry it out as he gently presses kisses to your temple

His hands wrap themselves around your soft midsection as he sweetly coaxes you to lift your head up to meet his eyes

As you explain your worries to him, Jack feels whatever leftover heart he has begin to break

Tears speckle his eyes as he looks at you, his hands that rest on your waist begin shaking a bit as he speaks up again, seemingly soaking up all your pain

"But beloved...there is so much more to love about you...you mean so much more to me than your gorgeous appearance."

Jack holds you in his lap, and whilst being mindful of his claws, traces the features of your face, whispering little complements as he kisses you gently

Throughout the next couple days, he'll distract and uplift you with various services and simple delights

He'll cuddle you in your sleep, preferring to spoon or hold you against his chest as he shares little stories and anecdotes

Jack has seen almost 200 years of beauty standards flying in and out of style, and he knows they matter for nothing

He'll assist you in small self care activities throughout the next couple days, like long bubble baths and painting your nails

these activities bring you closer together, and he just basks in your presence

"Being around you is an honor, my love, something I've been blessed with."

He practically worships you, treating you like the beautiful woman you are

He loves it when you show off your outfits for him, a little fashion show where you two parade around in ridiculous outfits, laughing at one another and toppling over in each other's arms

Jack loves you, all of you, including your body. He finds you deeply attractive and he wants you to see that too.

#reader insert #fanfic #fanfiction #fem!reader #female reader #headcanons #creepypasta #creepypasta x reader #laughing jack x reader #laughing jack #chubby reader #creepypasta x chubby reader #fluff #comfort #hurt/comfort #comfort fic #creepypasta fandom #creepypasta headcanon #clown #laughing jack headcanons #laughing jack creepypasta #angst to fluff

[dnvrsmedia]

Petrichor

Ellie Williams x reader 

A rainy day in with Ellie 

slight Farmer!reader 

warnings: none! pure fluff 

AN: this is my first Ellie ficlit! I haven’t written in forever so im starting small. Farmer!reader x Ellie may turn into a mini series though so look for that :) Hope you enjoy!! Requests are open 

——————————

Petrichor.

(n). The pleasant smell that often accompanies rain after falling on dry soil. 

The delicate tapping upon the roof and distant sounds of the people of Jackson slowly come into the foreground of your mind. As you begin to awaken, the smell of fresh rain puts a smile on your face. The first rain of spring has arrived. Comfortable in your little cocoon, your mind wanders to the many exciting crops you hope to plant this season. 

Other than in your lover's arms, you find that your favorite place to be is with the earth. Hands digging into the soil, giving birth to an array of fruits, vegetables, and wheat. While staring off into space, you feel the spot beside you begin to rustle. The auburn haired girl with a face dusted with tiny constellations laid ever so peacefully next to you. A brighter smile adorned your face as Ellie opened her eyes with a deep groan. Today was her day off patrol in a very long time. You had to beg her to take a step back and have been doing so for months. Tackling the nagging voice in the back of her head that tells her that she needs to prove herself to someone has been no easy task. Although she will never admit it, you can read her like an open book. Ellie has never needed to say what was troubling her with you, she never had to explain herself to you, and that is what scared her the most. 

Your hand caresses her face in the ever so loving pattern your sweet girl has gotten used to. Ellie allows herself to soak up all the comfort you are giving her by leaning into your touch. Her heart warms as she stares back into your eyes. She looks for any sign of deceit or lies and yet she cannot find any. You look at her with the purest form of love she has ever been given in her nineteen years of living here on this terrible earth. When she looks into your eyes she remembers what Joel told her. She has found something worth fighting for. 

The overwhelming sense of love and warmth swarms her body. Now, Ellie has never been one to have her way with words. She has only been able to write them down in that ratty journal she protects with her life. She has always been one who shows instead of tells, and showing you is exactly what she does. A surprised yelp leaves your slightly chapped-from-sleep mouth as Ellie leaps to press her lips into yours. The kiss starts off slow, yet quickly heats up to something very passionate. Ellie throws her leg around your hips so that she is straddling your lap as the pace quickens. Her skilled mouth sucking and biting your swollen lips as her dominant hand massages your head. She lets your lips go with a ‘pop’. She can’t help but chuckle at your spaced out face from the very heated kiss you two have just shared. 

“Well, good morning to me.” You giggle. Ellie laughs back once again; a symphony of laughter you could never get tired of. Ellie pinches your hip and pecks your lips once more. 

“You know I love you, right?” She frowns. Her brows turn down as she nervously bites her lip in waiting for your response. You know she must have had a rough night coming back from a tough patrol. You caress one of her boxer clad legs as the other hand turns her chin to look into your eyes. 

“With your whole soul, Ellie Williams. I love you too.” You respond in the same serious tone. The flicker of doubt flashes in Ellie’s eye before she leans down to hold you in her arms. You know she has had a terrible time with trusting, especially with her heart. The stubborn girl tries so hard to keep these walls built up and yet, here you are before her, turning these walls to rubble within a blink of an eye. You will always be grateful for having a love as beautiful as yours. 

“You won't lose me, pretty girl. I'm yours forever ‘ya know?” you reassure the girl in your arms once more. That seems to make the girl squished onto your front happy as she plants kisses to your neck. The pair of you sit in comfortable silence for a few moments, enjoying the time you have with each other. You appreciate the slow moments that seem to come by rarer than a blue moon. 

The tip tapping of the rain comes to a lull just in time for the loud rumbling of your girlfriend's stomach to erupt. Ellie’s head shoots up from being tucked in your neck, her face as red as the cherry tomatoes you plan on harvesting. A huge bout of laughter escapes your mouth after a beat of silence. Ellie groans and (non committedly) smacks you on your bicep. 

“You’re an ass, you know that? A real dickhead!” She smiles knowing she means absolutely nothing of what she says. You move she so that you can rise from your bed with a dramatic roll of your eyes. 

“Would a dickhead be getting up to make the love of their life breakfast while they go get a shower?” You raise an eyebrow. Ellie smiles wide, she loves your cooking. 

“Yes, but you’re my dickhead, babe.” She stands off the bed, giving a polite smack to your behind. You let out a loud laugh with a shake of your head. 

“You are so lucky I love you. Now go shower, I want to stop by the farm before we meet up with Dina and Jesse.” You plant a kiss to her forehead and move to grab the ingredients for her favorite breakfast. You set your favorite record on the record player Tommy had found and gifted to you for your birthday and got started. 

A half an hour later, Ellie arises from the bathroom with sweats on and  her damp hair in a bun. You roll your eyes at the fact that she still doesn’t listen when you tell her not to go out with wet hair. She must sense that you are about to grill her for not allowing her hair to dry when she snakes her hands along your waist for a hug. 

“I don’t deserve you my beautiful girl, it smells amazing, thank you.” She kisses your neck and moves to sit at the small dining table in your apartment. You blush at the nickname and shake your head. You bring the food out for the two of you and take a seat in front of her. 

“Anything for you, babe.” 

#ellie williams #ellie tlou #tlou #tlou2 x reader #tlou2 #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x fem #ellie williams x reader fluff #ellie williams fluff #tlou fluff #naughty dog games #ellie williams x you #ellie williams x y/n #ellie williams x female reader #the last of us #the last of us II #the last of us II x reader

[bbobpul]

meant for those who stay

NOTE. is this the sixth email? long time no post. i've been very busy. take this wonwoo au as a compensation.

PAIRING. wonwoo x you

GENRE. angst

WARNINGS. none

list of emails i can't send

masterlist

if you want to be added to the taglist, like this post

from. [email protected]

to. [email protected]

subject. emails i can't send 6/13

hello, wonwoo

after my trip to switzerland, the months spurred through, rendering me in a state of perpetual uncertainty. it seemed to me that the fear of approaching unfavorable circumstances was immobilizing me, leaving me conflated as to what i might give up next and what sacrifices would be demanded on my path toward the life i vaguely remembered having dreamed.

far from the harmless child's game of hide and seek with friends, where being found meant defeat, the desire to stay hidden from everyone else grew intense. rather, i felt overtaken by a foreboding reminiscent of the harrowing incidents portrayed in horror films. i understood that in such a situation, i would lose everything i cherished the most. this could entail the effort of my labor, a beloved soul, or even the entirety of my life. i therefore no longer wish to be found.

but you found me, jeon wonwoo.

wonwoo who is known for his guarded demeanor and for continuously putting his career and family first. the concept of love rarely entered your mind until one day when you found himself pondering it, and to my surprise, it was the thought of me that sparked this fundamental change within you. it's difficult for me to put into words how grateful i am for being the catalyst that released your heart.

you've always stated that i was your first love, which has occasionally provoked fun teasing from those who find it funny that you defined such a passionate connection in your thirties.

you are not my first love, nor will you be my last, as shown by the mere fact that i am writing this email. wonwoo, you are, without any question, the most important turning moment in the course of my existence.

while you may not be the longest or greatest relationship i've had, i want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for being the spark that ignited in the events of my life. you've made me realize that even in the midst of my own moments of feeling lost and coping with loss and the inevitable nature of losing, i still deserve to be found.

i want to extend my gratitude for rekindling a love that transcends time, cherishing each moment as it unfolds, and eagerly embracing whatever the future may hold. it may not be a love destined to endure, nor one fated to last a lifetime, but it was a liberating, joyful, and all-too-brief experience that i'll forever treasure.

i have too many scars for someone as pure as you, wonwoo. my life has been marked by losses, whilst you have found so little agony. i have nothing else to lose, whereas you have so much to gain. i cannot and do not want to be the person you settle for. so, i am so sorry for leaving. turns out i am still scared.

you are meant for those who will stay, and i have to admit that i am not capable of fulfilling such a role. there will be people who walk into your life because they are meant to be a part of you, and i hope they offer you the happiness you deserve.

i can only express my heartfelt regret.

sincerely,

your very first love

TAGLIST. @matchahyuck @minhui896 @hongmingoo @strawberryshortcakes-blog @lleercy @wonwooz1 @mhlsymlysn

lile this post if you want to be tagged

#Spotify #seventeen x reader #seventeen scenarios #seventeen angst #seventeen fic #seventeen fluff #seventeen x you #wonwoo x reader #wonwoo x you #wonwoo x y/n #wonwoo angst #wonwoo scenarios #wonwoo imagines #wonwoo headcanons #jeon wonwoo #bbobpul

[koyunsoncizeri]

A lil maedhros animation.

I...am also finally sharing a lil fic? Ficlet with Mae x Oc - angst and fluff. Under the cut!

I would be SO grateful if y'all would tell me what ya think :') !!! Especially my writing mutuals!! ♥️

Dove彡

"Don't go…" he softly whispered to the small figure lying next to him. "You don't have to go, little dove…"

She opened her eyes slowly. She'd been awake for sometime, she'd feigned sleep to feel his hand smooth over her hair, and caress her cheek, just to savor the warm feeling he radiated.

"I can't stay, elf lord." she said slowly. He glanced away when their eyes met. She smiled. There was something so innocent and childlike about this otherwise intimidating elf.

"Don't call me that…"he sighed, and turned to lie on his back. 

"I'm sorry…my lord." she grinned. He rolled his eyes but pulled her to his side. She pressed her body against his and rested her hand on his chest. 

"Why?" he asked after some time, but there was a defiance in his voice. He still saw this as an argument he could win…and convince her to stay. 

They'd met a week ago, when she asked for a sanctuary at their gates. It was apparent she was on the run for some time. He ordered them to open the gates and assist the human, which he later realized because she was tiny. The memory brought a smile to his lips and he turned his head to press a small kiss to her forehead. She opened her eyes, she was about to fall asleep in this elf's arms. She returned the loving gesture by kissing his neck, but a surprised gasp from him stopped her. Instead, she smiled gently at him, and assumed her former position.

"There is no life for me here,"she said. 

He fell silent.

He knew she was right, she would be better off living as far from him, and here as possible, and yet… he wanted her, selfishly, irresponsibly. He frowned, he felt bad to even entertain the idea; this was not like him at all.

"There can be," He chastised himself as soon as the words left his lips, what was he saying? How could he promise something like that, when he had naught to offer, not his affections, nor security.

"I'm sorry my lord…" She leaned to him on her elbows, his eyelids fluttered at the sudden proximity. He held his breath when she reached for him, placing her hand gently on his cheek. His lip was caught between his teeth and he fought so hard not to turn his eyes away from hers. She caressed his cheek, then her hand combed lightly through soft locks of his russet hair. He sighed softly, and closed his eyes. 

"I shall remember all that you have said, all that you have made me feel," she whispered, and pressed a soft kiss on his forehead, and he quickly opened his eyes. "I shall remember the quiet and kind laughter of yours and the soft touch of your hand."she kissed his cheek. "I shall cherish every moment you have kindly graced me with your presence, every glance you bestowed upon me." She cupped his face. "You shall forever remain in my heart, and I hope to be in yours at least for a while," she gently smiled, and wiped the tear that rolled down from his cheek when he tried to blink it away. She pressed her lips softly on his, and he welcomed her. He deepened the kiss as she let herself fall on her back and he followed her; covered her much smaller frame with his large one, trying to burn how good she felt under him into his memory. 

Next day came too soon, and with that last goodbye.

"Farewell, my little Dove. May winds always favor you."

#silmarillion #the silmarillion #jrr tolkien #maedhros #maitimo #feanorians #sons of feanor #maedhros the tall #maedhros x oc #maedhros x reader

[violetlunette]

So, I did a poll for Silver pairs (twice) and have been meaning to give my own thoughts but started writing essays before I realized; wait a minute, I don’t need to do that. I can just give my basic opinion. I don't need to justify or over explain, so here we go!

Notes:

*Long post

*twst spoilers

*Opinion-based

*Rambles

Silver x Sebek (Silbek) was, voted #1, to the surprise of no one I’m sure.

Personally, Silbek isn’t my cup of tea and I prefer them in a platonic sense. On top of that, I’m not a big fan of childhood friend romance. It just—annoys me intensely and there are very few instances where this trope works for me. (It may because I’ve been exposed to too many Hallmark romances with this trope and in other media.)

There are a few other minor things I don’t like about the ship, but they’re not worth mentioning.

That being said, I can see why others love the pair.

They have enough opposites to be interesting, such as Sebek being loud, emotional, always active, abrasive, and even arrogant at times, while Silver is quiet, stoic, sleeping—through no fault of his own—and humble. Yet both share a lot in common as well:

They place family above all else, are loyal but keep to their morals, and are helpful and kind. 

Plus, in the canon, we see how much they love and care for each other. Sebek is always there to pull Silver out of his own head and sort out his insecurities, as seen when Silver worried about his lack of emotion, when the other Diasomnia students weren’t listening, and—more recently—Chapter 7 and the revelation.

They understand each other, make up for one another’s weaknesses, and more. So, while it’s not my personal ship, I’m not surprised it was voted #1 and can admit it deserves its placement.

So, fun fact; when I did the poll the first time, this pair was the winner. I remember that as I was super surprised. And I’m still a bit surprised they’re #2.

Granted, they’re cute, but I assumed the pair would be in third place behind Silver x Sebek and Silver x Idia, as I don’t see much content between the two

That being said, it does surprise me that this puppy pair has so many fans;

They share the same morals and are cute together, plus, they’re friends in Canon. Also, Silver admits that Kalim is someone very dear to him, and Kalim is always saying nice things about the other. As a bonus, Kalim is already favored by the father-in-law.

I see these two as being the type that are in a relationship before they know they’re in a relationship. They're holding hands, eating together, and going on outings. Neither of them realizes what they’re doing until someone points it out. Even then, they’re confused for a while.

The downside is that while their relationship would help each other grow and change, it wouldn’t be one that could last long-term.

Silver’s dream is to serve Malleus in Briar Valley, a place he loves and where the people he loves live. His dream is to foster peace between the fae and humans.

Kalim, on the other hand, has a responsibility to take over as head, and it’s not one he can just toss aside, and I don’t think he wants to either.

When I think of the outcome of their relationship, I think of this Bojack quote: “I think there are people that help you become the person that you end up being, and you can be grateful for them even if they were never meant to be in your life forever.”

Silver and Kalim would help each other grow, but they wouldn’t be in each other’s lives forever, at least not as lovers. But in fanfiction, anything could happen. And I would love to see more fanfics of the pair and the challenges they would face.

Third, we have Silver x Idia, a personal favorite of mine. I love the two as individuals and squee whenever I see them together. To me, their interactions are a lot of fun, as I like seeing Idia deal with Silver’s “odd” attitude towards things.

On the surface, the two have nothing in common. Idia is shy, while Silver is bold. Silver is determined to the end, and Idia thinks it’s best to not even try. Idia is a tactician, and Silver is a warrior. Idia was raised around technology, and Silver was raised by nature. Idia is weaker than a kitten, and Silver is strong as heck. (How strong? I have no idea.) The list goes on.

Yet, while they are opposites in several ways, their differences just highlight the good they bring out in each other, or could.

On top of that, the few things they do have in common are pretty strong.

I like that they seem to admire each other. Silver genuinely admires Idia’s skills and isn’t afraid to tell him. He often compliments Idia and offers praise, though he does go overboard, which can make her shy.

For his part, while Silver can be too much at a time, Idia admires Silver’s beauty and skills, comparing him to things he finds cool, like ninjas. Both seem interested in the other, though Idia acts in denial.

Both value family to the point where it’s their main character arc. I love that Ortho likes Silver while Lilia and Idia get along online. The in-laws approve!

They also share a deep sense of insecurity about themselves. Idia thinks he is worthless, to the point where all he can do is hide away, mainly due to a tragic event in the past. Silver believes he’s a burden to those around him, and he does all he can to repay those he has troubled. It would be nice if these two could help one another see their own self-worth.

On top of that, I really believe that of all the Silver pairs, aside from Silbek, these two have the best chance to work out in the long run.

If things go well and Idia can break his family curse, he would be instrumental as Malleus’ tech advisor (probably the first) and could bring Briar Valley into the modern age.

And if he can’t and has to work at STYX, Idia and Silver could still work, as both could maintain a long-distance relationship.

Silver was often left behind as a child, and with technology, they could communicate whenever they wanted and visit when they could. On top of that, both have the temperament needed for a long-distance relationship to work.

The problem is that thanks to Idia’s personality, it would be hard for the two to get together in the first place. (His theme song would be “I won’t say I’m in love” as he sails down the river of De Nile.)

Silver would have to realize his feelings first and do most of the leg work in a way that wouldn’t scare Idia off. (That or Ortho and Lilia would have to play cupid.) Regardless, it would be a very slow burn, but I think once they got together, the two could be happy. And once they were together not even the powers of hell would break them up as both are EXTREMELY stubborn. (Another commonality.)

One problem I do have is that, even if they were together, Silver would most likely be doing most of the emotional labor, as Idia is too self-defeatist to do anything. Luckily, Silver’s pretty low-maintenance, and I'm sure Idia would step up if Silver really needed support.

If I had the time and energy I could write an essay on these two, but for now I’ll just say I really love these two and while they’re not #1 on the poll, they’re #1 for me.

The next is Silver x Malleus. My feelings for this ship are complicated.

I like how their personalities mesh, their shared family history, the drama, and all the works that make a ship memerable. Honesty, two have many, many things I like in a ship. There’s just one HUGE problem that keeps me from loving them: Malleus helped raise Silver.

Malleus was there when Silver was a baby and played an active role in raising him--My brain can’t get past that.

When I try to ignore it, my mind can’t help but slide to, “Shit, is this grooming territory?” (It's not unless the fic has Malleus raising Silver with the intent to have sex with him. Even so, there’s a lot of yikes, you know?) But then again, I overthink things, a lot.

That being said, I still find the pairing entertaining.

For one, it’s an interesting pair to explore human and fae dynamics, as well as the blue and orange morality that comes with it. Like when a vampire falls in love with a human. And again, there’s all the stuff I mentioned before.

I’m also really curious how Lilia would react to the relationship. This something I’ve never seen a Silver x Malleus ship bring up, but they should as Lilia is a HUGE part of both their lives. Isn’t anyone else a bit curious?

I don’t think Lilia would be a supporter of the relationship for multiple reasons, so what would he do? How far would he go to keep the two apart? And how far would the two fight him? (The angst potential, man! THE ANGST!)

In a yandere Malleus setup, would Lilia try to run away from his beloved Prince? Would he take up arms against him to keep Silver safe? Would he be able to do anything? Or would he just be helpless as the dragon he hatched takes away his beloved son forever? It just has a lot of potential story-wise, which I adore.

It’s a nice ship to explore darker themes but If I wanna skip those and just have a cute ship, I just find Aus where Malleus didn’t help raise Silver.

So to conclude this part, while I prefer them in a platonic sense I can’t deny that I have an interest in the stories they could tell.

Silver x Riddle; I never thought of these two, but now that I am, I think the two would be like Silbek without the childhood element. I like that Silver would have no issue standing up to Riddle when he started acting like a tyrant and would stop him before it went too far, yet he would always be there to offer support, especially emotional support, which Riddle desperately needs.

On his side, Riddle could help Silver improve himself, such as in how he presents himself, his studies, and his magic. He may even help Silver overcome his habit of talking down about himself.

I think the romance would be a slow burn due to Silver being oblivious and Riddle being a tsundere in denial who refuses to admit his emotions until they overflow. It could be fun to see Riddle drowning and being jealous of anyone near Silver until Trey and Ace have enough and set the two up.

Other than that, I don’t have too much to say.

SilJade is one I forgot to put on the first poll, but one that I like in casual passing for one-shots. To me, Jade is the bad boy that Silver could end up with. I enjoy how Jade is usually sweet toward Silver in canon. While he has his own reasons, he does nice things for Silver and helps him. I also think it’s cute how Silver’s purity surprises him at times. It’s a cute pair for me and I like to imagine them kissing under toadstools.

A pairing that got a mention but wasn’t on the last poll is Silcarter. I don’t think I’ve seen the two interact too much, but I can see Silver operating as a home to Carter, who never got to settle down in the past, and Carter can help Silver in a social setting like Kalim. It’s also neat to see his energy contrast against Silver’s. Other than that, I don’t think much about the pair.

Next have Silver and Leona. (Sileo?)

While in canon Leona is annoyed by Silver, I like the concept of the two.

Personality-wise, there are opposites, but in a low-key way. The only thing they have in common is that they sleep a lot, and even that’s an opposite between them.

Leona chooses to be lazy. Everyone and their mother sees he’s got talent for practically everything but he chooses not to do anything because he never get the role HE wants, which is to be King of Sunset Savanna. So, he choose to be be lazy and just rest all the time. However, Silver doesn’t have a choice.

Silver tries his best to be active and stay awake, but because of his “blessing” he struggles in all that he does.

I really like the contrast between the two. It’s entertaining to see Silver’s earnest and pure nature against the grumpy cat that is Leona and I think, if allowed to develop, they could have an interesting relationship. I can see Leona constantly being a bit annoyed but gradually coming around and may even try to help the other in subtle ways.

There’s also a possible drama plot where Leona wants to be with Silver, but Silver is devoted to Malleus as a guard, resulting in Leona’s insecurities activating as, once again, he can’t have what he desires because another has it. He can’t be Savana’s king, nor could he be Silver’s king.

Like I’ve said with others, it’s hard for me to explain but I like the potential here.

Tied for last are Silver x Jamil and Silver x Azul. Let’s look at SilJam first.

I love how their personalities contrast and how, despite the fact they’re in similar positions, they feel very differently.

Silver is honored to be Malleus’ guard, while Jamil is resentful that he has to serve Kalim. The difference is simple but major. Silver CHOSE to serve Malleus and Jamil only serves Kalim because of family obligations. It’s a single difference that changes everything for the two.

I think it would be fun to explore the two and their dynamics as they grow from each other.

I REALLY enjoyed during the Halloween arc how they worked together and how, for the first time, someone was interested in Silver and his history. I don’t think anyone other than Idia showed an interest in Silver, though correct me if I’m wrong. And even then, Idia seemed more interested in Silver’s dad than him.

I also enjoyed how Silver respected Jamil’s efforts and how he made sure Jamil got the recognition he deserved in the end. Considering how overlooked Jamil usually feels, this was a sweet moment for me.

Not to mention, it was fun to see how Jamil reacted to Silver’s air-headed moments and how he had to work around Silver’s honest nature, though unlike with Kalim, he didn’t seem too annoyed by it. (Of course, they don’t have the complicated power dynamics between them, so that may be why, but I digress.)

I mean, it’s hard for me to explain how much I enjoyed seeing these two together in the Halloween Event. They show an interest and appreciation for one another, I love how Silver baffles Jamil at times and so on.

And, of course, I see story potential! (Yes, this is a big part of why I pick ships. I can’t help it, I like stories!)

A fanfic plot I like is two versions of the love triangle. (Yes, I like these IF done well.) One is where, at first, Silver likes Kalim, who likes Jamil, who likes Silver. Another is that both Kalim and Jamil like Silver, who’s oblivious. Either way, this feeds into Jamil’s resentments, creating drama that could end a victory for him if Silver chooses him in the end.

That being said, the only way these two could have a future is if Silver leaves Briar Valley, as Jamil wants to travel, see the world, and be free. He doesn’t want to stay in one place.

This pair is one I think of when I want Silver to venture beyond all he knows and see the world. To be something more than a royal guard and expand his horizons.

He could still work for Briar Valley by becoming a diplomat alongside Jamil, so he could still embody Lilia’s teachings and fulfill his dreams for peace, but they would still have to leave the Diasomnia fam.

Now on to Azul x Silver (AzuSil? SilAzu?). This is another pairing I believe has potential.

These two are opposites in EVERY way. One is a pure angel of heaven, and one is Azul of the deep. Silver is strong, honest, kind, and does everything for the benefit of others. Azul is as weak as a guppy, cunning, and manipulative, and he does everything for his own benefit.

However, their interactions did light a spark in my brain and I like the pairing of the “devil” trying to charm an “angel.”

The contrast between the two are intriguing and I’m facinated by the idea of these two coming together to make a couple. I think having someone like Silver in his life would help Azul as he could realize not everyone wants something from him and some genuinely just want to help others.

Not to mention fanfic-wise they work SO many ways;

There’s the redemption arc that Silver could provide for Azul--Beauty and the Beast AU, under the sea edition, anybody? No? Oh, come on—as well yandere Azul when the mood strikes, Lilia vs Azul for Silver, and more.

Though I acknowledge these two would probably never work in canon as there Azul is looking for an intellectual partner, I still have a soft spot for them.

Recently, I was asked about SilRook, so I’ll share my opinion here:

First off, my gutter brain found it interesting that Rook appreciates that Silver can “sleep” anywhere, lol.

In a way, I see some potential for fun between these two and think that Rook would hold a lot of surprises for Silver and would help the latter find things to appreciate about himself. Other than that, it seems like it would mainly be Rook being odd or showering appreciation for Silver and Silver going, “Um, okay?” The main entertainment would be from the "in-laws,” as Lilia and Malleus don’t seem fond of Rook.

Rook would be a fun yandere for a fanfic, but otherwise doesn’t do much for me. Still, there’s fun to be had with the two if a writer’s willing to put in the effort.

Another pair that got a special mention was SilYuu. I didn’t put this on the poll as it’s basically Silver x OC as Yuu can be interpreted many way.

If we go off “canon” Yuu, however, they’re still cute but are definitely a “quiet” pairing. And I mean that figuratively and literally due to the fact neither talks much.

I don’t see them as an out-there, exciting couple, but they don’t need to be. Silver can be Yuu’s shelter from the madness of Twisted Wonderland and a safe-port in the storm. It’s difficult to explain, but when I see these two, I see a very tranquil pair with the feeling of a warm afternoon, napping in the son till the kids and grampa start making noise.

And I think that’s it!

I’m sure some of you noticed that most of these are based on the stories I think they could produce, but I can’t help it. I like stories, so when I look at a pairing I think how well they get on together and what tales can they create together. That’s how my brain works, which is why I’m a fic writer.

I guess it’s cheating as I base my ships on potential and what I THINK they could be rather than what they are, but eh.

Anyway, my personal ranking of all the Silver Ships mentioned here are thus;

Love: Silver x Idia, Jamil x Silver

Really like: Silver x Azul, Silver x Kalim, Silver x Malleus with a huge "it's complicated mark"

Like: Silver x Jade, Silver x Leona, Silver x Riddle, Silver x Canon Yuu

Meh/Don’t care for: Silver x Rook, Silver Carter

Not for me: Silver x Sebek

So, how about all of you? What’s your favorite pairing for Silver, and why? I would especially love to hear why people like Silver x Kalim, as, despite it being voted so high, I don’t see a lot of content for the two, so I don’t know why they’re so popular. Is it really just because they’re both sweet angels? Or do you see something else that you like?

#mine #twst #twisted wonderland #twst silver #silver twst #silver vanrouge #silver twisted wonderland #lilia vanrouge #oof this was long #and I cut in half XD #oh well #sorry #leona kingscholar #azul ashengrotto #jamil viper #kalim al asim #malleus draconia #sebek zigvolt #jade leech #riddle rosehearts #idia shroud #rook hunt #carter diamond #canon Yuu #twst yuu #disney twisted wonderland #twst wonderland

[weird-bookworm]

ᴍᴏᴏᴛꜱ

@silversailormoan - we actually started gossiping on ao3 in the comment section of one of her works 💀 she always has something funny to say and it really makes my day 😂 we haven't been interacting much lately, but one of the best people ever 💜

@yrhome (elle) - still surprised she followed me back tbh, was not expecting that. i haven't really interacted with her (yet, hopefully) but definitely one of the best txtenha writers on here 💕

@maeleelee (mae) - the prettiest, most lovable, very brave and the most chaotic person ever!! she makes me feel so soft and warm and loved 🥺 and her sense of humour is top class 🤌🏻 i'm really grateful she decided to message me randomly because i can't bear the thought of not knowing her ❤️

@imagine-a-life-like-this (cassi) - where do i even start? one of the first people i followed on here, the reason i'm obsessed with fake texts, and one of the sweetest souls alive 💖 she's so warm and always so funny and so so talented 😭

@mxnsxngie (kayla) - me and my awkward ass has no words tbh 😅 she's just really comforting, yknow? like, she'll listen if i randomly rant and reassure and encourage me and that's just so 🥺💕 she gives me fairy vibes— pretty, glittery, and lowkey fascinating ✨

@ylliris-hanniehae (ylli) - finally someone who's my age!! she's become a close friend very quickly and she's very sweet 🥺 i've been seeing her randomly drop in people's inbox's just asking about their day and it makes me so happy 💕so lovely and so kind 🥺 i'm glad she approached me 😅

@fairyhaos (yena) - impeccable sense of humour? check! really really efficient? check! one of the amazing people i know here? check! one of THE best svt writers? check check check! i just really love them and their work 💕 their sweetness gives me diabetes and i'm glad i have a chance to get to know them better 😚

@idubiluv (arya) - you know when you start talking to a person for the first time as if you've known them forever? yeah, that's her 🥺💕 she's such a ray of sunshine, a real bubble of joy which pops with rainbows and smiles (thanks for dming out of nowhere 😆)

@the-therapist-needs-therapy (haru) - literally so sweet omg??? we're going to be fast friends, i just know it 💕 and her writing omfg 😭 all i remember is writing the cringiest shit at her age so she's just really impressive y'know? 😍

@babyboyquokka (jess) - we've conversed a total of 2 times 😭 and she's already been so sweet 😭 hope i'll get to know her better soon!!

@cadenonlinelive (caden) - i think i know cco and ccl caden better atp honestly 😅 we're moots already so here's to hoping we'll get to talking soon ✌🏻

@slytherinshua (zanna) - see. now her? she's amazing. her writing is absolutely fire, she has the sweetest most chaotic personality, she writes for way too many fandoms (she's crazy and she knows it 😃) and is literally the most welcoming (?) person ever 🥺

@icyminghao (noelle) - current mission: get to know noelle better!! ✨

@ryuwonieebae (ryuwon) - adding another moot to the i-don't-really-know-them-properly-yet list lolol 😅

@rubywonu (nia) - HELLO? EXCUSE ME? WHEN DID SHE FOLLOW ME BACK THIS IS PRACTICALLY AN INVITE TO BE FRIENDS 😳

@mesanthropi (weiss) - i need a thorough look inside xir brain and a green sign to be xir friend (the strangest person i know in the best way possible ✨ keep twinkling my love)

@wheeboo (rania) - omg the sweetest cutest squishiest boo stan ever like i just wanna wrap her in a hug don't ask me why idk this is very random but i just really love her okay? 🥺

@hanniehaee (milani) - imma be honest, she showed up out of nowhere and just gave me so much love in such a short time that i fell Hard lmao 🤩

@aaniag (aania) - fellow indian carat who has been showering me with so much love and so much support, thank you so so much 💕

@woozvc (nora) - i never realised we're moots...btw nora this is me telling you i am stupid and you're gonna have to deal with my stupid ass, thank you!

@yeonjuns-redhair (hannie) - SDFGHJKL SUCH AN ICON?? please she's so fucking funny and we're so weirdly similar like man i love her 😭💕

@welcometomyoasis (shu) - ...will you forgive me if i tell you it took me this long to realise that we're moots and you're not just a very nice person i was following? 😅 BUT TYSM FOR ALL THE SUPPORT FR ILY 💕

@springdayysworld (kuhu) - she's been here for a couple months now but i can tag her because her blog Finally looks decent (curtsey to moi) 😌 she's my best friend and the one person who never fails to annoy me every. single. day. i love you, you bitch ❤️ (she's an irl for anyone's whos wondering 😭)

@mirxzii (roxie) - i'm hoping to get to know her better, because all i know rn is that she's a great singer ✨

@blue-jisungs (axe) - BRO SHE'S SO FREAKIN FUNNY LIKE???? full of chaos and sass and the inherent inability to be mean, axe is so full of love and boomer-ness 🤭 and now i can say that i am moots with THE axe heheh

@haecien (cien) - bro listen. this guy? right here? i like them. he's cool and very much in love with the same men i'm in love with 😍 also their smaus are fire so 😩

@aakomii (ari) - i. malfunctioned when i saw the follow notif. i'm not kidding. i just sat there staring at it for 5 minutes. LET'S BE FRIENDS SOON !!

@etherealyoungk (skye) - life is now complete 😌 THE skye is officially now my moot and i can only tell her how much of a mistake that is because i am SO annoying and while i feel like you have endless amounts of patience, uhm, uh, hehe, good luck 😃

@glosskirt (gloss) - my sister from another mother, my fellow yoongi simp, i hope we always reign with chaos and spice 🤌🏻👹

@candewlsy (mizu) - BRO WHY R U A WHOLE ASS MOOD like the jungwon obsession is too fucking real 😩 also the memes 👹 the Memes™ ✨ teach me your ways!

@kkooongie (sarah) - ah, yes, another desi moot (am i...am i a magnet? 😃 IM NOT COMPLAINING THO) ur fr the only person i've discussed my book interests with and it's been heaven lol 💕

@iwas-tooru (noya) - bbg idk why i'm adding you here but i've added kuhu so...ANYWAY this is my irl koala and my fellow gay simper 💕✨

@liveyun (yun) - when maturity meets chaos meets talent meets a shared love for bts = yun ✨

@thepoopdokyeomtouched (aznik) - another desi moot for y'all, aznik is a walking talking meme who is in love with music (and has fire choices 👀) and has a mastery in flirting because i saw you for the first time flirting with yena on main lmao 😭

@mangocustard16 (mango) - we're still getting to know each other but dayum your writing is 🔥fire🔥

@arafilez (ara) - FELLOW CHAOS MAKER ATINY SIMP why are we like this ahem— desi moot pt. idek but srsly ilysm mwah <33

@nonononranghaee (hafs) - the one person who has flustered me without actually doing anything because. well. 😅

[moriartyluver]

FALSE LOVERS CHAPTER I

MY DEAREST MOTHER AND FATHER,

How are you? I do hope the two of you are well. I truly miss you both and as if fate has brought us back together once more, I am writing to invite you to visit me in London. I look forward to hearing father's wholesome laughter and mother's silent but affectionate smile.

After months of mother reminding me that I must find a husband to secure my future title of the Grand Duchess [Last name], I have finally found a suitable husband for myself whom I love with all my heart.

Do you remember when you came to visit me at university when I was eighteen years of age? I hope you do. There was a boy there who was talking to me right before father approached me with mother following behind. Father joked about how he seemed to be a potential suitor to which I promptly denied in annoyance.

That young, once irritating, boy is to become my husband within the next few months. We had been courting secretly for a while before our engagement, and the day of the proposal was possibly the happiest day of my life.

William, that is his name if you didn't remember, is a good man. His older brother is Earl Albert James Moriarty, a man who works for the military and his younger adopted brother, Louis James Moriarty is equally noble despite his background. William holds them both dear to him which I find the most beautiful thing.

He's selfless, intelligent (I recall mother making the remark that I would find it difficult to settle with a less clever man than I because I always sought competition in a partner. I suppose she was right because our rivalry in intellect is what drew me to William in the first place) , and very, very handsome. Not like those older men with bushy facial hair and large statures who repulse me ever so slightly, but rather, William has a beautiful sharp and youthful face with the most darling red eyes, more precious than any jewels I've seen in my days in [home country]. His hair is silky and soft with the prettiest blond colour and he always, even when enveloped in fatigue, maintains this angelic beauty.

I couldn't be more happy with any other man. I now realise that the two of you were right when you said I would find a man for myself someday who I will love dearly, and who would love me even more, just like my dear parents love each other.

Was this unexpected? When I was sent to Britain for my studies by the request of my parents, did you ever feel the urge to keep me in [home country] with you? When everyone told the Grand Duke and Duchess that I would become less desirable if I studied in a man's field, did you ever agree with them?

I wouldn't blame you, of course. Although higher education is becoming more available to those of my sex, it is still surprising to some. Thankfully, [home country] is slightly more progressive than England. Sending your only child, and daughter at that, to a separate and somewhat controversial country due to Great Britain's relations with [home country], only for her to study in University then work as a professor despite my status, it must have been upsetting.

I'm glad that during my youngest years as only a mere child with a heavy interest in books and mathematics, Father and Mother, you both noticed my talent. My intellect was recognised and I am forever grateful towards both of you for raising me, not as a feeble young girl, but as the daughter of [father's name] and [mother's name], the Grand Duke and Duchess of [home country]. I was raised with swords and books alongside my dolls and dresses. I wasn't forced to reject my femininity but instead encouraged to embrace it whilst also enhancing my strength and intelligence.

Thanks to the two of you, I am working only for myself and I never, no matter how many degrading comments from noblemen I received, changed myself for anyone. With that upbringing, I had high enough standards to accept a man like william into my world. I hope that you both grow to love him as I do.

So until I see you again, with your blessing for my marriage, I bid you farewell.

With love and admiration,

[Name] [Last name]

"I wonder if that'll convince them," (name) turned to look at her closest aide. "What do you think, Josephine?"

The girl in question looked at the letter in (name)'s hand, her grey eyes skimming over the paper. Her mistress had taught her well and she was able to read the letter with ease.

"You write all that and you still deny that you love Lord Moriarty?" Josephine laughed as she teased (name), who scowled and quickly folded the letter, sliding it into the envelope.

"I don't love him!" she exclaimed, her eyebrows furrowing as her previously empty expression shifted to an irritated one "I just..I needed it to be convincing. My parents, well my father may act a bit silly, but they can both see through me easily in person. I've had to practice my acting skills in the mirror every morning whilst trying not to laugh! It's difficult work Josephine Evans!"

Josephine only laughed more, to the extent tears even threatened to spill from her eyes. A pale finger reached over to wipe her eyes as the brunette tried to regain her composure. "My..ha..My apologies, your ladyship, but I don't think you'll have any issues convincing your parents. Even I find it difficult to remember sometimes that you an' Lord William aren't a real couple."

"So it is convincing..?" (Name) trailed off  "I suppose that issue is sorted..I don't think my parents care too much for the status of the man I marry. Mother is tired of me constantly rejecting my supposed admirers, and father would be glad that his little (nickname) has finally fallen for a man after so long."

"Uhm.." Josephine opened her mouth to speak. (Name) turned around in her chair to face Josephine who was standing behind her. She raised an eyebrow.

"What is it Josephine? You know you can speak freely with me. I'm not a tyrant." (Name) said

"Right..my apologies if this sounds rude, but..how are you to deal with the issue of.." Josephine felt her freckled cheeks grow red in embarrassment

"The issue of...?"

"Offspring!" Josephine said a bit too loud " I mean-..how uh..do you plan to uh...you said earlier that your father joked that he wanted grandchildren so-"

(Name)'s face visibly darkened as if she had seen a ghost. The thought hadn't crossed her mind before hand. It would have been deemed improper in such an era when even seeing a woman's ankles was scandalous.

"I..don't know.." (name) whispered in a depressing tone. "For the first time in my life, I don't think I know the answer.."

"I'm sorry Lady (name)!" Josephine exclaimed as she bowed repeatedly to her depressed mistress "I shouldn't have asked!!"

"I think I should probably talk to William about that..wait no..that's be embarrassing..but if I don't produce an offspring, rumours may spread that our marriage is an unhappy one or that I'm infertile..because of course it's always the woman's fault..maybe rumours would spread that William has a secret lover behind my back..I don't think I could bare that at all..and I can't expose a child to murder and death like that.."

(Name) had started muttering and spiralling in her thoughts. Surely doing..it..with William would be out of the question, right? He wouldn't even dream of such things..at least she hoped he wasn't a pervert of some sort..no..William? A pervert..? Surely the man was still chaste anyways..no woman would be attracted to such a rotten man in (name)'s eyes, let alone love him.

"L-Lady (name)..? I think it's best you sleep on it..it is late after all, and your uncle," Josephine spoke, snapping (name) out of her thoughts "I mean the Marquis, has reminded you to rest every so often.."

(Name) nodded, "I'll quickly stamp this letter and have it sent before morning so it can reach my parents before the engagement ceremony, then I'll sleep.." she said as she poured red wax on the seal of the envelope, stamping it with her personal seal and handing the envelope to Josephine who quickly left to send it off whilst (name) went to bed.

And how did this young lady somehow trap herself in a fake marriage? The problem had routed to about a year before, when she had to ask for help from a certain blond for the first time in her life.

At the time she regretted doing so for the sake of her pride, but now, there would be a lot more to regret in the future thanks to her involvement with Professor William James Moriarty..

The Lord of Crime.

A/N: hey guys, first actual chapter lol. Please give (nice) feedback because I’ve never uploaded a long series to tumblr before so I don’t really know if you guys will like it or not 😞 (please be nice about the feedback or I will cry) Also let me know if you guys wanna be on my tag list bc I’m thinking of making one.

#moriarty the patriot #william james moriarty #william moriarty #william moriarty x reader #mtp william #yuukoku no moriarty #yuukoku no moriarty x reader #moriarty the patriot x reader #yuumori x reader

[kiryoutann]

Before reading, please check series masterlist to read the warning(s), disclaimer, and to make sure you’re on the right chapter. Minors do NOT interact.

I appreciate the likes, replies, and reblogs! Thank you so much. You can buy me a Kofi to give me tip for my writings (no pressure!) I’ll forever be grateful to u! <3

Fingers curl around the glass of red wine, tilting it slightly to stir the liquid inside. Your other hand supports your head while you are busy in your inner thoughts—the voice of an amber-eyed man resounded like a prayer.

"That's not possible, because the one I love is you."

The palm of your hand is placed on the cheek, hoping that the cold will reduce the heat that creeps up on it. You still remember how it instantly bewitched you to freeze instantly. Zhongli takes no offense at your lack of response; he just smiled, reached out, and offered to escort you to your chamber as if he hadn't just professed his love for his childhood best friend.

Since when exactly? Why have you never taken the slightest hint of that? Has Zhongli always been this good at keeping secrets? You shouldn't be surprised, considering he's the only person who knows you still have the ability to see the future.

You shifted your gaze to the draped window. It is late—if you don't try to sleep, you're sure to have trouble concentrating in the morning. That's not a good thing, since tomorrow is the first day of the hunt, and you won't be able to avoid interacting with the nobles and guests as much as you did today.

You're about to set your glass down on the table when a terrible headache strikes. Your fingers grip the sofa material as your coping mechanism.

A vision.

Your heart is beating fast. You find a familiar figure kneeling in desperation in front of the Divine Tree. Childe. This is exactly what you saw before your vision suddenly changed. He was reciting a prayer in a murmur that you still couldn't quite make out.

Before you can process it, your vision changes to display two figures. One was Zhongli, while the other was an unknown woman in hanfu.

However, this is the first time Zhongli has smiled so broadly in your prophecy.

Your mind returns to reality before you can get answers about what and who. You control your breathing and your pounding heartbeat. Then you glance down at your glass and realize you've spilled it. You get up to retrieve a tiny cloth from your drawer to clean it up, though you're still left wondering.

Who is she?

And Childe.. what was he doing there? Why has everything changed so quickly?

Before you find the answer, a knock on the door startles you. You stayed silent, assuming it was probably your hallucination, but when it came again, you pondered who could have visited you so late at night.

Although a little hesitant, you stepped your feet closer to the door. Fingers curled around the cool doorknob before turning it after hearing another knock.

As soon as it swings open, your eyes widen in surprise as you recognize who is standing in front of you. Slightly tousled ginger hair, messy worn shirt, and.. a stupid blushing face smiling at you.

“Ajax?” Without realizing it, you slipped out his birth name.

Blue eyes light up from your call. “(Y/NNNNNN)!!” You can smell the alcohol on his breath as he stumbles forward into your arms.

Supporting his bigger body, you almost fell to the floor if it hadn't been for him regaining his footing. He holds you close, the warmth radiating from his body feels foreign and familiar at the same time. You feel your heart beating against your ribs. A bittersweet embrace.

You want to stay in the moment until you realize this fleeting sweetness will only bring you new heartache. Although you were uncertain that you could break free from the hold of a man who was obviously stronger, you tried your luck hoping the alcohol in his system would make him less alert.

“Ajax, let me go.”

Your attempts to wriggle free only made him tighten his arms around you even more. “No! Don't go!” He says.

From how desperate his voice sounded, you wonder if the sober Ajax could say something like this. As if he doesn't want to let you go, as if he doesn't want to lose you. As if he wasn’t the one who refuses to leave the woman he loves for his wife.

Once again, you have sprinkled salt on your still-open wound.

"I have to close the door." You make excuses.

Childe shook his head he buried in your shoulder. "I don't want to."

"Please."

"We can close it together." Childe insisted.

You furrow your brows, “And how are we supposed to do that?”

To answer your question, he moves his unsteady leg backwards, taking you forward. You shook your head inwardly, not understanding why he was so reluctant to let you go. It's as if you were his life support, something he couldn't live without and would die without.

The drunken Childe is ten times better than the sober Childe.

Your free hand closes the door, then you are caged once again in his arms. Your nose brushes up against the fabric of his clothes, picking up a smell other than alcohol. You furrowed your brows at the faint scent of sweet perfume.

A punch to your heart comes along with a question, had he just met Lumine?

"Can you let go now?"

Childe shook his head again, his curly strands tickling your ear. "No." He answered childishly.

“Ajax.”

Childe tightened his embrace even more, though in his mind he was still making sure it didn't suffocate you. You're not sure whether to like it or not, knowing that he wouldn't be doing this if he hadn't drank a dozen bottles of liquor.

".. don't want to.." He muttered nearly in hushed whispers. ".. I don't want you to go."

Even though you know it's the alcohol talking, it feels good to hear someone asking you to stay. For a moment, you feel enough.

You know Childe. You're not what he wants, you're not what he needs. Believing something that is fleeting— let alone from someone who is unaware of the words that come out of their mouth—is the stupidest thing a person can do. It hurts to see your hope wither away, therefore you will no longer hope.

“..to him..”

“.. What was that?” You didn't quite catch what he was muttering.

Childe hugged you even tighter, this time you could feel your bodies sticking to each other without any distance. Some days he feels as warm and comforting as this, and other days he’s a raging inferno that burns you mercilessly.

"Don't go to him." He said, leaving you confused as to who he was talking about. "Don't go to Zhongli."

You froze. Your heart seems to stop and so does your mind.

Why did he bring up Zhongli all of a sudden? You can't make a guess. Does Childe know about his love confession to you? How? You keep wondering until you realize that nothing will change the fact that he knows.

Was that the reason he was this drunk?

You bit the inside of your cheek. Stop, he doesn't care that much about you to drink all kinds of liquor just because of that. After all, there's nothing for him to worry about anything that might happen between you and Zhongli when he already has his mistress.

"I was simply going to fetch you some water." You gently pushed him away from your body. Scanning his somber face, his expression reminds you of a stray puppy.

"Are you going to leave me again?"

Again? Hadn't he been the one doing that all along?

Before you said anything, he opened his lips again to continue the words in his drunkenness,

"You are so cold to me."

Childe said, and you looked up when you detected the tremble in his voice. The next thing you find are blue eyes filled with tears. You stood in agape, unable to believe what you're witnessing right now. Not only the fact that he's crying—he's crying because of you? Alcohol makes him a... different person.

A sob, “I don't want you to go.” He says and you're starting to believe that his drunken brain is seeing you as Lumine.

"I'm not Lady Lumine, you know." You mutter under your breath, luckily he didn't catch it.

A fat tear fell from his eye, you clearly didn't expect this. What happened between him and Lumine to make him this way? Something in your stomach twists knowing he was able to act like this because of her.

Childe sobbed, "I don't want you to go." He really does look like a golden retriever puppy now, minus the ears. " Don't you realize what you've done to me? You drive me insane, Princess. So, please don’t be cold to me, don't be warm to men other than me. If you did, I would be furious."

You remain silent.

So what he said was directed at you? The warmth in your chest is here for you to curse. Only a fool takes the words of a drunk and now you're not sure if you're one of them or not.

You want to believe you aren't.

However, even though his words were so sweet, somehow they were received bitterly on your tongue. Maybe because you know the sober Childe would never say something like this, or even anything close. You hate his drastic changes in his character—you hate how he can act like you are his world and then act the other way around the next day.

"You really are drunk." You said, slapping away his hand around your wrist to break free, he was taken aback by your sudden action. "I'll fetch you some water so you can at least sober up a little."

You walked to the table, poured water into a glass. When you turned around, you couldn't help but sigh as you looked back up at him.

“(Y/N)..” He was still with his puppy ​​eyes.

“Please sit on the bed, Your High—”

“Ajax!” He corrects loudly it startles you.

Another obvious sigh escapes you. "Alright, Ajax, can you sit on the bed?" You feel like you're teaching toddlers.

Much to your surprise, he obeys you. Childe sat on the edge of your bed with sagging shoulders. He waits for you to stand in front of him, gives him the glass and supports his hand to keep it from slipping.

"Drink it." He stared at you with wide eyes as you ordered him.

Childe did what you told him without thinking twice. He brought the glass to his lips and drank it, his Adam's apple bobbing with every gulp. Once the glass is empty, you take it from him then put it on the nightstand.

You opened your mouth, “You should—”

Before finishing your sentence telling him to return to his room, a pair of strong arms have found their way to wrap around your waist. You got goosebumps from the sensation of his fingers touching your back. Childe brings you closer to rest his head against your stomach while he closes his eyes.

"Don't force me to leave, please."

A voice that sounded fragile, as if he would die if he spent even a second away from you. You think it couldn't be further from the truth. Whereas in reality, he didn’t long for heaven any more than he wanted to stay here with you.

Childe hugged you tighter, you could feel the warmth of his cheeks against your thin nightgown. Instead of letting your hands hang awkwardly by your sides, you rest them on the top of his head, caressing strand after strand of his ginger hair. Everything will be forgotten the next morning, as if it never happened.

"Don't go." he repeated.

"I'm not going to." You reply with either a promise or a lie.

"I've left her." He says.

You furrowed your brows, “What do you mean—”

"I've left Lumine."

As soon as it was said, it has the magic to keep you frozen without moving a muscle. After your brain processed it, your eyes darted to the top of his head.

He had left Lumine?

You don't know what to feel. Childe had said almost the same thing before, and it ended up being a promise he broke. However, you repeated the vision you recently had—a drastically altered image that doesn't show anything about Lumine being pregnant with his child or your divorce from him.

Fate has changed again. You can't help but assume it's linked to their split.

Though this doesn't mean you can trust him right away—especially after everything he has put you through. You also don't know for what reason he knelt in front of the Divine Tree. Even if this is one of his improvements, it does not mean he has entirely changed into someone who will never hurt you again.

The hands around your waist loosened. You glanced at him and saw that he was fast asleep. Slowly, you pushed him onto the bed, then tucked him in.

Childe, Zhongli, and destiny.. all of this overwhelms you.

Whatever this sound he was hearing, it irritated him. Still with his eyes closed, Childe let out a grumble—which then made the noise stop. However, once he recognized it, he no longer had any intention of continuing his sleep.

The sound of a group of people trying to speak softly but failed. He never found it in every morning waking up from his sleep.

The eyelids opened wide, showing blue irises that then squinted from the sunlight that fell right on him. He was even more confused when he found an unfamiliar room arrangement—obviously not his. Just as he was about to shift, he felt his skin brushed against what he assumed was silk.

Not only did he find himself shirtless on someone else's bed, but he also noticed four pairs of eyes staring back at him.

“Your Highness.”

Your voice greeted him in a foreign manner, but he didn't protest because he was distracted by his confusion. Your ladies-in-waiting are standing behind you, assisting you in getting ready by fixing your hair and putting make-up on your face. If it hadn't been for the awkward circumstance, Childe would have taken his time admiring how stunning you look.

“(Y/N)?” He looked at you in surprise.

Still with a flat expression, your hand gestured for your ladies-in-waiting to stop their work, saying the make-up was enough and asking them to leave the room leaving you and Childe alone.

After the ladies left, he broke the silence between you by asking: "How did I get here?"

You walked closer, standing some distance from him. "Don't you recall? You came into my chamber unexpectedly last night." You said.

Childe widened his eyes from hearing your answer. He doesn't remember anything about it, just how drunk was he last night? More importantly, what had he done in those few hours which he couldn't remember?

Swallowing hard, he mustered up the courage to ask again, "Did I say or do anything strange?"

Now, it's your turn to be silent, it doesn't help the anxiety in him. Did he tell you what made him drink so much liquor that he forgot everything? Even worse, did he profess his newfound love for you on that very night? Oh, if that's true then Childe doesn't know what he's—

"No."

You were too fast and blunt in your response to tell him that you still treated him coldly.

Despite the fact that he was relieved and certain that nothing had happened between the two of you last night based on the reality that nothing had changed from your treatment of him, Childe also couldn't deny that he felt a little desperate.

Childe broke out a bitter smile, "Is that so?"

You nod as if deaf to the melancholy in his voice. "You did nothing but sleep on my bed." His eyes widen from what you said. "Don't be worried. I slept on the couch.”

Why disappointment came to him? Does he secretly wish you'd let him hold you in your sleep?

The shame of desiring something he can't have consumes him. The woman who stood a few distances in front of him, who held heaven in her eyes and star dust in every strand of her soft hair. What must he risk in order for you to share part of your warmth with his dead soul once more?

This is karma.

In this silence, Childe uses it to look at your face, while you consider it nothing more than a waste of time. Today will be busier than usual considering it's the first day of the hunt.

"I requested that the cook bring you some hangover soup. You should hurry and prepare.” You said.

His lips part to say he wants to stay with you. In his heart, he hopes that maybe—just maybe— you'll give a little bit of your kindness to let him

“..Right.” But, he instead said this then got out of bed.

Childe didn't notice how his shoulders slumped like a defeated man. He shuffled his limbs, grabbing the doorknob with his hand.

"Wait."

As if he was following your orders, his body stopped moving completely. He turns his head to see you taking something from the drawer before walking towards him.

When you stand in front of him, Childe is again reminded how you are the most capable of taking his breath away. The outlines of the face he longed to touch, he wished he could trace it with his fingers—which now do nothing more than clench at his sides. Did you know that inside his ribs, his heart sings hymns creating thousands if not millions of melodies for you?

Blue eyes follow curiously as you reach out, revealing a handkerchief above your palm.

“Here.” You signal him to take it. “I made it for you while we were still in Zelenossosh. I should have given it sooner, but none of us seems to have found the proper time.”

That is quite true. Shortly after your return to the capital, you two got into the argument and you avoided him for a week.

Childe examined the gift in his hand. A yarrow flower was embroidered on it—compared to his mother's work, it was a bit untidy. However, what makes it special is this from you. Even if you simply embroider one horizontal line, it will melt the caverns of his almost frozen heart from your cold treatment.

Unexpectedly, a prince who grew up with the world's luxuries at his fingertips could hold a simple handkerchief with such care as if it would break if he dropped it.

You stared at him still fixing his eyes on your embroidery, trying not to wonder what he thought of it. Now that you have given it, there is no more reason for him to stay in your room.

"That is all. You are free to return to your chamber." You said, about to turn around leaving him.

"Wait!"

His hand grabs yours suddenly. You looked at him with wide eyes, then examined his face, then his lips parted about to say something.

"Prey.." He uttered breathlessly. “What prey do you want?” He asked, then patiently awaited your response.

Ah, you are reminded of the last time you brought this up.

From the bad memory that followed later, you let go of your hand from his grasp—this time more gently, saving the pieces of his heart from thinking you rejected him.

"I have no interest in such things." You see something disappear from his eyes, yet you can't put your finger on it. Is he really waiting for your answer? If you ask for something, will he give you it?

On the other hand, Childe returned to melancholy. His hand was still outstretched as if he didn't want the remnants of warmth from holding yours to quickly disappear. It's so easy for you to slip out of his fingers, like sand on the seashore. The sunlight from the window mocked him for its ability to touch you without being swatted away.

"Rabbits."

Blue eyes widened when he heard it. He raised his head to meet your gaze.

You cross your arms in front of your chest. "But, you cannot capture them with arrows." You said. "I must receive them alive if I am to maintain them in the palace garden."

Childe processed what you said and you expected him to reject it. That's fine, after all you also don't expect anything from the start of the hunting competition. However, to your surprise, instead of considering your request strange, he actually hosted a wide smile that appeared too suddenly.

"Rabbits... alright." he said happily. "Alright." He repeated, you furrowed your brows.

A moment later, Childe turned the doorknob, swinging it out of the room. It sends shivers through your body seeing how his demeanor changes suddenly without warning. In your muttering, you hope he won't do anything stupid.

The first day of the hunt has begun. The participating nobles had slung their bows over their backs as they made their way towards the thick forest of Snezhnaya. Chins lifted high, a mark of pride and confidence in bringing home the most prey and winning the championship.

“Your Highness.” An all too familiar voice called out to you, making you turn to the handsome face of the Duke of Morax—the same man who had confessed his love to you the night before.

Instantly, your cheeks feel warm as soon as you realize that the amber still holds the same warmth for you. It's like a secondary sun, keeping you warm and dry when you're near him.

“Zhong—ahem, Duke Zhongli.” Despite your doubts, you addressed him in the same formality as how he addressed you just now.

When he smiles sweetly, you find it hard to maintain eye contact. Then you shift your look to the red line at the bottom corner of his eyes, then taking more detail on the brown strands ending with the ends that are the same hue as his eyes.

Did he approach you to ask for your answer to his love confession? If that's the case, what should you tell him—

Zhongli extended his hand and asked for yours to cup. You looked at him with wide eyes, while he was still smiling as if he knew very well what he was doing. There was no demands in his gaze, he was not waiting for any answer.

Although hesitant, you put your hand which he then stroked. " Would you be willing to wish me luck on my hunt?" he asked.

Biting your lip, you nodded slowly. "I... I wish you good luck." It's impossible for you not to stutter when he stares at you so deeply, full of love and adoration in his amber eyes.

His lips smile before they land on your gloved hand. Eyelids close before opening and glance at the source of the sound of footsteps beside you.

The hold of his hand on yours was too gentle and long for Childe not to burn with jealousy. Green looked disgusting on him. Seeing you fixing your fixated eyes on a man who knows he's touching his wife makes Childe want to pull you away.

However, Childe didn't want to blatantly show you that.

Zhongli straightened his back. “A white fox, would you like that?” he asked.

You nod at his offer without thinking, pleasing him with how adorable you look with enlarged eyes. Zhongli finally let go of your hand slowly, then turned to Childe to alert you of his presence.

“Your Highness Prince Childe.” Zhongli bowed.

Childe glared, “Duke.” A great sin if his lips say his name.

Zhongli turned to you, "Then I will take my leave." He said more to only you than to both of you. He twisted his feet, turning towards the hunting area.

Five seconds after being left alone with you, Childe opened his mouth, "You told me you wanted rabbits." He had no intention of hiding his annoyance.

“That I did.”

Childe tried to ignore your short answer and the shift in your facial expression that morphed into something cold. He continued his sentence again, “But, you asked him for a white fox. You know I'm capable of giving you more than that.”

You turned around and found him with a crumpled face—you're not sure which you prefer, him with his fake smile or him expressing his true feelings. Your chest rises and falls as you exhale from your lips. You turn your heels to approach him, watching his face turn from annoyed to confused and curious.

You stopped right in front of him. "The rabbits are enough." you said.

Childe flinched when you reached up to touch the strands of ginger. The blue eyes that widen from the sudden gesture capture more detail about you. This spring is no match for your beauty, the flowers in this garden are jealous of your eternal bloom. The depths of his heart screamed in his desire to be under your touch forever.

You brushed the flower petals from his hair, dropping them later. Yet, he was still glued to you instead of watching it swing back and forth before it hit the ground.

"Good luck on your hunt, Your Highness." You gave him a brief bow before walking away.

Even though you've drifted away from him to approach the other noble women, his attention remains fixed on you, observing every motion you make. Childe touches where you previously touched him as if he were collecting the pixie dust you left on him.

You've already arrived at the tea table, occupied by noble ladies. Rosalyne sat on your left, while Princess Ayaka of Inazuma is on the other side. The servants began pouring tea into cups, with others carrying out freshly baked pastries.

"My husband has to bring home at least one bear." One of the nobles said.

A smile as your response, allowing the other to reply. You bring your teacup to your lips. It would be a long, tedious time waiting for the men to return from the hunting grounds.

"Who do you think will be the winner this year, Your Highness?" Rosalyne asked you.

“Isn't His Highness Prince Childe the winner every year? Though I do hope my big brother will eventually defeat him this year.” Ayaka said before cutting the cake with a small fork and eating it.

Your under eyes crinkle from the fake smile you put on. "Wouldn't it be nice if there was a change?"

"Does this mean you wish for someone else to win?"

From their growing enthusiasm, you only answered with the shortest response, "Perhaps." You returned to sipping your tea.

Whereas in the hunting grounds, many arrows were fired at their prey. However, in stark contrast to the people making their way through dirt and puddles to reach the deeper parts of the forest for their worthy prey; Childe, the hunt's yearly winner, was busy stalking the rabbit hole with his confidant.

"Your Highness, if you want to catch bears or wolves, they aren’t near here." He said, raising the Prince's beloved bow in his hand.

"I know." Childe replied.

Dmitri widened his eyes, “Then what are we waiting for? Let's go there—”

"Shut up, you're going to scare them."

"Them?" Dmitri stares at him in confusion, clearly demanding an explanation which Childe responds by pointing his chin towards a herd of rabbits. “What—I’m sorry, Your Highness, but I’m afraid I don’t follow. Are you saying you're going to catch rabbits? Of all the many kinds of preys?”

From imagining you holding these little guys in your lap, Childe smiled before responding with: “Yes.”

"Surely you're kidding."

Tired of his rambling, Childe quickly dropped his beaming face. “Am not.” He stated as he took cautious steps towards the small creatures, effortlessly catching them with his hands. "Ha! You’re mine! Bring me a cage, Dmitri! A big one!"

Dmitri had been his confidant for years but, never in his life had he expected to find Childe—the fearful warlord ‘Tartaglia’—willing to dirty his shirt and gloves only to capture a few bunnies, and if that wasn't strange enough, he did it with a large smile on his face.

Oh, he's gone mad.

AbbyBianx, ness

@thelovelydiviner @r0ttenhearts @tsunotaro-san​ @yguchild @a-random-bored-person @ajaxstar @dandelimoonus @deemayaz @sxztus @meiraloves2dmen @bananazzzen @sugarxbxby123 @httpmitsuya @kaiyoschaos @ganyuzuri @enviouspeanut​ @justreadings @nat1203 @creamiepudding @childes0nlywife @hieraethx @r0se-r4men  @cyn9​

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#childe x reader #childe #tartaglia #tartaglia x reader #tartaglia angst #tartaglia fluff #ajax x reader #ajax #childe tartaglia #genshin impact childe #genshin impact tartaglia #genshin #genshin impact #genshin impact childe x reader #genshin impact tartaglia x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin men x reader #childe tartaglia ajax #tartaglia childe #genshin x reader #tartagalia x reader #childe ajax tartaglia #childe fluff

[itspdameronthings]

in Loving memory

Summary: here is my entry to@triplefrontier-anniversary celebration. This is a really sad one. sorry about that. this is a tribute for one of our own ,@aellynera who is now with the angels. She was one of a kind . Hope she loves this. she loved Oscar. Most of us knew she loved Triple frontier ,and anything with oscar. ha ha!

the fic deals with him mourning his love.

Wish people would stop asking how I am doing. Want to be alone! Let me fucking be! Let me grieve in my own way! Others never lose the love of their life like me. My Alleycat. One of a kind. Talented writer . Yeah. She loved to write short stories. Did that to take her mind off her illness. I found out about it four years ago when she would get sick a lot. Doctors ran test after test. Until … she was in a coma! Scared me half to death. Prayed for more time with her. Wishing Columbia never happened. Took me away from her! God! Why ! Why you called her home so fucking soon! Took my dad ( Which I didn't have to say goodbye to!) Took me years to get past the hurt. Feel so alone! What now!? 

Haven't left our room since the funeral. That was the hardest thing to do. Say bye to my heart. Others are part of me. My Ying to my Yang. Treasure the moments we shared last year from going to a Broadway show in New York that stars her favorite actor. Okay, I saw why she likes him. Told me he looks like me. Smile at the memory. Oh Ally girl, wished we had more time together. Make even more memories. I’ll treasure them always. No matter what. I'll never find anyone like you darling. Promise you that. 

I'm watching Revenge of Jolly right now. Try to laugh. Haven't been able to do that. I remember coming home from a horrible day. She  was watching it. Okay.. kind of corny. 

I watched it,and oh shit! Was so corny.

After the movie.  I play some of her music. Oh how she loved the 70’s and 80’s. Her taste was all over the place! Like Dan Reed network. Played it a lot. Some country. Oh how she loved when I sing. Even with Benny. Speaking of him. Oh how he misses her. Like his big sister. Always teaming up to tease the shit out of me. Will and Frankie too loved her as well. 

Her family gave me space that I needed. Mention if I need anything to let them know. That's sweet. Even Benny's girl, Paige comes by with food ,and tries to clean the house. Which looks like inside my head. She is grieving like me. Both of them were close. Like the same things. Same kind of sass. Which is comforting. On this day Paige brought me a note Ally wrote before she passed. Said for me to read it. Cant! Cant fucking do it! What can she possibly tell me that I already know! Paige told me it would help the healing process. Putting it on my nightstand for the time being.

Few days later Will texted me to come over for a surprise get together at his place. Others will be there. Too soon! Not ready to go out! Oh got a text from Paige: 

Paige: Look, I know what you are going through. Been in your position when my dad passed away. Couldn't function. Took me awhile to realize that my dad didn't want me to wallow.

Santi: wallow? Think I'm wallowing? 

Paige: a little. Have to get out at some point okay? Ally wouldn't want you to be sad forever. Have a lot of people in your corner. Besides, I need you at the gathering. So does Benny. 

Santi: Oh.. the gathering has to do wop,ith you two?

Paige : maybe. 

Maybe she said. Just like Ally . So secretive. Guess I have to bite the bullet,and read the letter. Sitting in my worn out, black leather chair. Starting to read: 

My Santi baby( hot sauce) ,

Wrote this before my condition got so bad that I couldn't communicate anymore. Wanna tell you I love you soo much. Have been the love of my life for a long time, baby. Sorry for worrying you so much about my illness. Always there when I told you about it. So grateful for that. 

Have a request for you. Live life to the fullest,but first thing first. 

Get your knees checked out! Don't let it go too long! Hate to see you in pain. Do it for me. Secondly, it's okay to love someone new. Want you to be happy. It's okay to love someone else. Thirdly, let the others take care of you. I mean it! Have been a leader far too long. Let them take some of the slack okay? 

Last thing my love I treasure all of the time we shared in our short time together. Never in my wildest dreams we found each other. Be strong . 

Hold the note close to my heart. Tears fell again. Thinking about what I have to do. First thing. Time to get cleaned up. Meaning shaving my scruffy face. 

Took a breath as I knocked on ironhead’s door. Benny opened the door. Hugging me so tight I couldn't breath. Others hugged me. Even Paige. Asked me if I was okay. Squeezed her tiny hands and told her I read the letter .  Told her I'll do what she says. 

Benny made his special announcement. Him and Paige are getting married. So happy for them . Hope both of them have a wonderful life together. Looking up at the evening sky knowing she is in heaven watching. Guiding not just me,but all of the people she cares about. 

#triple frontier #santiago garcia x reader #oscar isaac #@triplefrontier-anniversary

[maydoesthings]

CHIHIRO

pairing: aizawa shouta x reader (oc- ish)

warnings: mha vigilante spoilers!/mha s5ish spoilers!, mentioned sexual themes, alcohol, trauma and angst😔

i’m back! so i didn’t write a summary cause i wanna let y’all get right into it… it is not proofread it is 6am i wanna sleep and i’ve been sitting here for 2 hours so my bad… i’m very excited for this one and since they made my boy oboro just dissapear into thin air??? i decided to give him some love (he’s still dead but like, oboro- centric okay🙄)

also, there’s not rlly smut in here but it’s implied so read at ur own risk!!

masterlist

Aizawa Shouta’s life was full of regrets. Some were small, quick mistakes that are forgotten easily. Others were heavy, forever burned in his mind, dragging him down. Some things you can’t let go. Moments full of guilt. His past is a heavy weight on his shoulders. Every single regret made him the man he is today.

There is on day, that will haunt him forever. A day that formed every future decision of him. Just at 16 years facing the cruel reality. If he had been faster, better, stronger… He was unprepared and naive. A life taken too soon, he made sure it’ll never happen again. Everything is planned through, rational. He had to push these kids hard if they wanted to stand a chance. He may be brutal, but he only does what’s necessary.

Maybe it helps him to accept his best friends death. That it wasn’t his fault, that he does the right thing. To move on and improve. He always thought he was good at that, being calm and collected and such. If only he’d stop holding himself back.

You’d never find someone like Shirakumo again in your life, that’s what Aizawa always thought. Still, there is one person hitting too close to home. He hated that. How could he let go of this terrible accident when there was such a perfect copy of Shirakumo constantly in his business. He didn’t want to see that all too similar smile, the rare cloud like hair he’s never seen before, or the bubbly personality that could always lighten the mood.

It hurts to think about.

When he was still in High School, she was a lot smaller. He hadn’t seen her often back then. Only a few times when he visited Shirakumo, but of course he knew his little sister. Family was always important to Shirakumo, something Aizawa could never fully understand. He didn’t hate his family, but he didn’t value it as much.

She was 4, maybe even 5 years younger. He didn’t really care about her back then. After Shirakumo’s passing he only saw her at the funeral and then luckily he didn’t have to face his dead friends family anymore. It made him so terrible guilty.

The next time was years later. She was in her last year of High School when he faced her again. If he was honest, he had forgotten about her but seeing how she had grown up to look like her big brother, of course he recognized her. It was more surprising that she remembered him too.

She seemed happy to see him again. It made him uncomfortable. He’d run into her more than often during patrol. She’d always come up to him and talk. It seemed like she wanted to get closer to him, for the wrong intentions, he quickly realized. He would never dare to even think about Shirakumo’s sister like that, and she was still in High School. So he pushed her away.

When he was still in High School, before the accident, Shirakumo told him that his sister seemed to have a tiny crush on him. He barely interacted or talked to her, he thought Shirakumo was ridiculous.

Well, after all those failed attempts at getting closer, he might’ve been right, a little bit. How embarassing. Despite him pushing her away they still stayed in contact. It wasn’t too bad to have someone who shares the same kind of emptiness. The loss of a loved one.

After her graduation, he barely heard from her, which he was kind of grateful for. She was nice, but she was hung up on her dead brothers friend trying to find comfort. They’d both have to live their life. Move on.

And that was it.

Well, not really. It should’ve stayed at that, because now he was in too deep. She studied medicine. She didn’t take the same path as her brother, for now obvious reasons. If that was her decision or their parents, he had no idea. He was happy for her. Still saving the people. Rescuing the ones in need. Some own kind of heroic.

He didn’t really know until he ran into her after a rough night on patrol. She was training to become a doctor, so she started as a nurse in some hospital in Musutafu. Aizawa was more than suprised to see her walking into the room, fixing him up. She looked rather suprised too. Scolded him to be more careful and then sent him off.

Somehow luck wasn’t on his side the following weeks, maybe even months. The villain rate increased rapidly so he had no choice than to come into the hospital more often than not. He’d rather fix up himself, if the wounds were easy to take care of. At some point she was getting tired of fixing him up, but still did it.

She is the spitting image of her brother, just more feminine and he hates it. He wants to hate it. But it gives him closure somehow. He was selfish, and he knew. They started to see each other outside of the hospital too, what a suprise. When she starts her morning shift, he ends his patrol, so sometimes one of them bought coffee since they were in the same area. Just a quick exchange and then they’d go off to do their job. Or sleep.

At some point she gave him her number and threatened him if he wouldn’t call when he was hurt and she was off duty. If it was still an attempt to get more of him, he wasn’t sure. Maybe it’s just her being herself, it is how she acts around other people too. Always friendly and trying to help.

And then the day came where he actually had to call her. He dreaded that day because it meant there were more boundaries crossed than he was comfortable with. But she insisted. He had to. For them.

It happened more often that he would end in her apartment, getting stitched up in her bathroom. That was okay. Friends helping friends.

Shirakumo’s death date came closer. The mood was always sour during this time. His birthday too. He wasn’t the best at coping. He’d just sit in his empty apartment staring at the floor, maybe visit the graveyard if he didn’t feel like a complete failure. Yamada himself said he was always an ass to be around during that time.

Not his fault Yamada is better with emotions than him.

It was around one week before the day. He felt so alone, which he would normally prefer, but this was different. Maybe he could see her, they’re so much alike, it would help him. He was certain. So he called.

He was in her apartment again, this time on the couch rather than the bathroom. She sat down beside him and no one said nothing for quite a while.

“Why did you call? Normally I only see you to fix you up.”

“…I miss him.”

“oh.”

She got up and quickly came back with a bottle of some liquor and two glasses. He doesn’t remember what liquor.

“I didn’t know this was gonna be a shit show today..”

“M’sorry.”

“Don’t be.”

It should’ve stayed at that but he had to push, push for answers. She reminds him so much of him, it hurts. Always fixing him up, puttin him back together and listening to him sulking about Shirakumo even though he was her brother and not his.

“Why are you doing all this.”

“What… Oh Aizawa, I always found you admirable. You don’t give yourself enough credit. I know you don’t seem to be too fond of me, and I totally understand. I’m doing this more for myself, as selfish as that is.”

‘We both.’ he tought. He hated himself for sitting in this apartment. He should be the mature one. Two ‘adults’ sitting on a couch together and sulking for apparently two different reasons.

‘This is getting too much. I can’t do this.’

He doesn’t remember how long he’d been sitting there. The atmosphere was tense, and he could feel himself heating up from the liquor.

She broke the silence first. “Would you say something?” she sounded so desperate. He was desperate too, for closure. He needed something even if he didn’t want it. It was totally his mistake. Totally.

How could he end up in her bed that night. Something to add on the list on regrets.

He couldn’t fuck up more. His best friends little sister, his dead best friends little sister. He should be ashamed. She lies there, hoping for more than just a night of..whatever.

How could he do something like this to Shirakumo. He promised to keep away from her, tell no one about this, apologize- Hell, anything just so this never happened.

Somehow, he always found his way back. His mood only worsened from time to time because he said it’s enough one too many times. He patrols, passing her apartment building, and somehow, he rings the doorbell. Every. Single. Time. Of course she opens, and he’s all over her again just to quickly disappear the next morning.

He ends up hurt, and despite his better judgement goes to her apartment to get fixed up. He may take his shirt off so he can get treated, but hers is next. And every single time he tells himself: ‘Next time, I fix myself up.’

Somehow that never happens.

Then he starts to call her to come to his apartment when he’s having a hard time. But the difference is, he can’t run away. She happily stays in his apartment cooking breakfast before leaving around noon. It makes him uncomfortable.

She thinks of this as more, than just finding comfort. Maybe she doesn’t see why he is doing it and how he regrets it every time. She wanted this for what, years? She seems much happier. He isn’t a person to talk about feelings. He made it clear enough that they are not a couple or anything close to that.

And she’s aware. But there’s hope. That he gets attached to her. He reaches out so of course he wants to see her. She thinks of them more as friends but less than a couple while he thinks it’s clearly a mistake he can’t stop making.

She has some sort of sense to know it’s wrong. When they hastily pull of their clothes, he always sees that she’s pushing the picture of her and Shirakumo down, so he can’t see. It’s on a shelf right at the front door. And even if they go to her bedroom, the frame comes down every time he visits, cause he shouldn’t see.

And when she catches him before he can sneak off, she brings him to the door, where she pulls the picture up again. And there’s always this hopeful look everytime he leaves. He hates it.

He wants to hate it. He wants this misery to end. They won’t ever be together and he knows, she doesn’t. She wouldn’t understand. Because the worst is, she’s pretty yes, but she has so much resemblance with him. When she lays on her bed, he just buries his face in her neck or really anywhere, so he doesn’t have to face that hair, that look. He just can’t.

He doesn’t think she’s noticed yet. She seems quite happy with their arrangement.

It goes on for years.

——————————————————————

hello! i’m back with the aizawa brain rot😔

so i’ve been working on this as a longer story but i had to start somewhere… would y’all wanna see more?

if yes, be prepared for angst😝

song “chihiro” by billie eilish

#aizawa x reader #oboro shirakumo #shouta aizawa #aizawa #oh boy let him suffer #i’m very tired so sorry #oboro deserves more love #even tho he’s not rlly getting any in this fic whops😣 #aizawa shouta