#he would literally rather die than be alive in a world without her

[callsign-rogueone]

not alone - r.g.

Ridoc Gamlyn x reader part three of Ridoc and Sweetheart’s story. words: 1.8k 🏷: Iron Flame spoilers in a vague sense, reader experiencing the joys of RSC, implications of torture but it’s not shown, mild panic attack / anxiety spiral / self-deprecating thoughts, bring tissues maybe, “happy” ending, Ridoc (and Sawyer) to the rescue! I am so stuck on the first-date scene that I just skipped it for now but it will happen eventually, I promise!!

This has to be a dream. It feels like something out of an adventure novel — waking up in a literal dungeon, chained to the wall. 

“Rhith?”

You wait a few seconds, but she doesn’t respond. Oh, gods, what if she… no, she’s okay. She has to be okay, because you’re okay. Maybe she’s asleep or off hunting or something.

But she’s never not responded to you before. She’s always replied, always been there to assuage your worries and remind you that it’ll be okay, just breathe. 

Breathe. Deep breaths, think about the butterflies… You look up, seeing no trace of them, no flutter of blue wings in the dim mage light of the room that you can’t seem to brighten, either.

You try it again, picturing them more clearly, thinking about the patterns on their wings and the colors… Nothing.

Something is definitely wrong. 

Why can’t you make a simple illusion? Is your signet broken? Is that why you’re down here? Is this some kind of reconditioning? A punishment? Or are you here to be executed for being defective?

“Rhith?” you try again, still working to steady your breathing, but every second that passes without a response only tightens the knot around your heart.

There’s no use. She’s not going to respond, because she’s given up on you, finally realized she’d chosen poorly, that you aren’t fit to be a rider after all, and decided to do away with you before the next Threshing, where she could choose a better rider, one who doesn’t need constant reassurance and hand-holding like a child.

The door swings open, a uniformed infantry officer stepping inside, here to decide your fate. He’s fully armed, a short blade in his hand, ready to carve into your skin or to pierce your heart, put you out of your misery — to thin the herd, to separate the wheat from the chaff. 

“I’m sorry,” you plead, as if that will change her mind. “I’m so sorry, I promise I’ll try harder, I’ll prove to you that I can handle it, just please don’t give up on me, don’t leave me here to die, please…”

He scoffs at you. “Crying already? This is going to be easier than I thought.”

You can’t dry your tears with your hands tied behind your back, so you settle for blinking them away and willing them to stop — you need to be strong if you want to get out of this room alive and see your brother and sister and the rest of your family again.

Family. That’s it — to convince them you’re worth it, you need to be someone else, someone who is worth it, like your brothers. 

You’re going to get through this. You’re going to endure whatever they put you through like Garrick would, and do it all with a straight face like Xaden, and be brave like Liam and smart like Brennan, and then Rhith will take you back, and everything will be okay again; you just need to stay strong.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Ridoc can’t find you at breakfast— you aren’t sitting with Bodhi and Imogen and the other marked ones like you always do. Maybe you’re sleeping in, he decides. The thought is a small comfort to him, but he can’t shake the feeling that something is wrong.

He hadn’t seen you all weekend, but that much is normal — he’d spent Saturday afternoon with his friends at the tavern in town, and you aren’t the going-out type; you’d rather curl up with a book to distract yourself from the rest of the world and it’s cruelty.

You hadn’t answered your door when he’d come to extend you the invitation, but he’d just assumed you were elsewhere. And your relationship is new, anyway, new enough that the word relationship probably isn’t the best to describe what the two of you have — you’ve been on two dates. You aren’t going to be spending every hour of your spare time together. 

But you aren’t at morning formation either, and as he settles into his usual seat at Battle Brief, you’re still nowhere to be found. There’s no denying it now; this isn’t a series of coincidences, this is a pattern, and something is definitely wrong.

Second squad seems to all realize what’s happening at once.

“I’m sure she’s okay,” Sawyer tries, but Ridoc seems unconvinced, bouncing his leg under the table nervously. His eyes snap toward the door as it creaks open, one person walking through.

You make it up to the back of the lecture hall, settling into the open chair beside Ridoc, your usual spot these days.

Everyone’s eyes widen at the cuts and bruises across your arms and face, knowing there’s likely even more covered by your clothes.

“Are you okay?” Violet asks in a whisper, knowing it’s a stupid question, but wanting to say something anyway.

You nod, chewing your lip. “I’m fine, but I can’t feel Rhith. I don’t know what happened.”

You’ve been trying all morning, had tried all night when they’d finally left you to sleep… you haven’t heard anything from her in two full days, but the infantry officer had let you go free, so you must have passed whatever test they’d given you, decided you were worthy of being a rider after all.

Guilt flickers in Ridoc’s chest - he should have told you, given you some kind of warning. “They did the same thing to us last week. It was something in the water. It’ll wear off soon, I promise.” He holds a hand out, a small icicle forming in his palm that he wraps in a piece of soft fabric. “Here.”

You take it from him, holding it to the killer bruise forming on your jaw from where the officer’s fist had nearly broken it. “Thank you.”

You’re exhausted. You’d barely had enough time to shower before class started, and you’re pretty sure you’re concussed; it’s hard to think, and everything is too bright in here, too loud…

You turn your gaze back to the professor, but don’t take any notes, don’t make any move to take a pen and paper from your bag, letting your eyes fall shut as Devera continues her analysis. It goes in one ear, out the other, but you know none of it is true anyway, or if it is, it’s only half the story.

The ice is starting to melt against the warmth of your skin, dripping down your wrist. He takes it back, letting it disappear into thin air and pocketing the wet handkerchief silently, resting an arm on the back of your chair and pressing a soft kiss to your bruised temple.

You blink awake at the sound of everyone getting up to leave — you must have gotten almost an hour of sleep. It’s taken some of the edge off, but your entire body still aches as you rise from your seat.

“Aotrom says she’s on the flight field,” Ridoc says, shouldering your bag before you can protest. “Do you wanna go see her?”

You just nod in response, your jaw still aching too much to speak. You make the walk up in silence, your heart clenching when you see Rhith standing there, waiting for you.

The comforting voice is finally back in your head. “Hello, sweet one.”

“Hi,” you say aloud, voice wavering. 

She lowers her head to you, letting you stroke a hand over the dark green scales of her nose. “I would never want to replace you, sweet one. You are just as strong and just as valuable as your brothers, and I chose you for a reason.”

You realize that she’d heard it all, your desperate pleas for her to spare your life, the promises that you’d be better, thinking she’d abandoned you…

“I’m sorry for thinking that, I just… my signet stopped working, and I couldn’t hear you…” you’re going to cry just thinking about it. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” she soothes. “Try it again.” 

You take a breath and close your eyes, picturing a butterfly. When you open them, you can see one floating through the gentle afternoon breeze. You add another, just to be sure that it wasn’t a fluke, and another… three of them now, content to flutter around in front of you.

Ridoc is still watching you, silent. The look of relief on your face breaks his heart.

He realizes that by separating you from Rhith, they’d taken away your only friend in that room. He’d had Rhiannon and Violet and Sawyer by his side the whole time, but you’d been entirely alone; no marked ones, nobody from your squad — you’re the only second-year left. They’d taken your best coping mechanism as well, your ability to self-soothe with your gentle projections. 

Rhith looks up at Ridoc, who stands a respectful distance away, your bookbag slung over his shoulder. “She says thank you,” you relay for her, “for taking care of me.”

Ridoc smiles. “Always, sweetheart. Now let's get you to the healers, hm?”

He holds out a hand, and you hesitate a moment before you take it, intertwining your fingers loosely. His skin is warm against yours, soft, gentle, safe. When you make it down the hill and across the bridge to the infirmary, you almost don’t want to let go.

You stay as close to Ridoc as you can for the rest of the day. He treats you incredibly carefully, even after you’ve been mended back to normal, the cuts healed and bruises faded completely.

You’re grateful to wake up in your own bed the next morning, silently getting ready for the day and falling into your place at morning formation.

“Atken,” Dain calls, gesturing for you to come see him. “You’re being transferred.”

What? Why? Your heart races, but you follow him silently, stopping in front of a different squad, in Fourth Wing.

“I think you already know most of your squadmates,” he prompts.

You take a good look at them — nearly all of your friends; Imogen and Sloane and Violet, and now Ridoc and his friends too. You might cry. “Thank you,” you say quietly.

“Don’t thank me, thank those two. They made quite the argument for transferring you.” He nods toward Ridoc and Sawyer — they both smile at you, Ridoc grinning from ear to ear, Sawyer looking rather bashful.

“So you won’t have to be alone anymore,” Ridoc answers before you can ask. 

You fall into the formation beside him, reaching over to hook your pinky around his in a tiny show of appreciation. “Thank you.”

He smiles at you, warm and bright, keeping your fingers interlocked through the morning roll and announcements.

Maybe your second year won’t be so bad anymore.

#ridoc and sweetheart #ridoc gamlyn x reader #fourth wing #fourth wing x reader #mine #ridoc gamlyn

[numericalbridge]

So, I've just finished the first season of the Owl House, and i don't understand why people like Eda and call her King's mom when she is so mean?!

In the first episode alone she pokes Hooty in the eye, and says Luz is more valuable to her alive (than dead) even though Luz is clearly scared. And she tells Luz she will only allow Luz to return home if this 14 years old helps her first. Luz clearly doesn't understand the world and its dangers, yet Eda brings her and an 8 years old Kind to a prison without even explaining the tyrannical regime and the existence of the capital punishment. Idk, the vibes are really fishy there? She doesn't even want to free the prisoners in the Conformatorium and flippantly jokes about the Warden tormenting 'some tiny creature'! The impression is that she is at best a rather uncaring and apathetic person. And, as we know, there is no such thing as character development and characters always stay the same as their first appearences, so Eda doesn't value community and hates children forever.

And people say she is a great teacher, but she doesn't even want to teach Luz in the first episode. She didn't even try to think whether Luz would be able to learn magic before making a promise to teach her. And then in episode 2 she cruelly mocks a 14 years old for believing herself to be a chosen one - even King, who is a child, lately admits it was cruel - and she never learns from her mistake because in episode 6 she claims she would never trust Luz again if Luz messes up, causing Luz anxiety to the point not only Luz but also Willow and Gus believe Eda would hurt them at the end of the episode! Yes, she says she only wants them to clean her house but why did she need to pretend to seriously threaten them?

And she never truly apologizes or [verbally flagelates herself] explains how and why she changed her mind, so I am not saying you must hate her, but we can appreciate the person she becomes later, while [only focusing on imaginary bad things about her] acknowledging all the shitty things she's done! Such as: She constantly physically and emotionally (through neglect) abuses Hooty in front of children, endorses child labor, uses wages against an elementary schooler and brags about humiliating King in episode 3, cruelly mocks Gus, Willow and the Blight kids. She even said she would let the twins die by Sleetherbeast to save herself! And kinda suspicious how she knew Odalia and Alador and so must know that they are bad parents yet doesn't try to help the Blight kids. Seems like she had been complacent in their abuse for years, don't you think?

And i am not saying that i am completely against mama Eda either, but to enjoy anything involving her and King everyone must first admit that she has been emotionally negletful and physically abusive towards King. Because King doesn't even know he is a child - that's super fucked up, right? And he doesn't have any friends and thinks demons are underappreciated - and obviously it's because Eda made him feel that way, and he acts older than his age, probably because he had to act as her personal therapist. And, yes, Eda is physically abusive too, since in the episode 4 she says she would break every bone in King's body for stealing the elixir, and that can't be an unfortunate writing choice, because we must look at the scenes in isolation and chose the worst possible interpretation of the character, and if you don't see it that way that means you can't deal with admiting your fave has flaws! Also she literally ate someone in episode 2.

But don't worry, you are alowed to like Eda as long as you are agreeing with all the bad faith interpretations of her and want her to self-flagelate and every character to hate her and talk down to her. And she must experience over the top guilt that no other character has to experience, including begging for King's forgiveness on her knees. Oh, and don't forget that you absolutely must crawl into the notes for any silly fanart of her with King to whine how she 'needed to be nicer sooner' and put your Eda bashing fics in her tag while laughing how 'mama Eda stans' must hate you now! Anyway, i am going to go make a fanwork about older King realizing what a shitty parent Eda had been and he isn't sure whether he would be able to forgive her, but it's ok, she is allowed to become a one-dimensional comfort provider as long as it brings the notes in.

[i know people in the fandom looove to be obtuse so i will spell it out: this is a parody of the way toh fandom talks about Darius (and pre-season 3 Camila too, but i based it on Darius because i look into his character tags more often). I will make a serious post, but later since i don't actually want to post too much negativity about Eda.]

#the owl house #darius deamonne #toh darius #long post #parody of the way toh fandom talks about Darius #(and pre-season 3 Camila too but i based it on Darius because i look into his character tags more often) #i wanted to make it shorter but if darius tags have to be filled with no read more nonsense you can scroll through this once #And i didn't even touch the obsession the fandom has with inflicting violence on Darius in a 'totally joking' manner #because it was too gross to write about a disabled woman like that but the racist fandom has no problems doing it to Darius #as a compensation for this i wanted to make a meta about the way i see eda's arc forming towards opening her own school #but it'll have to wait until i finish rewatching seasons 2-3 #fandom

[weatherman667]

Final Thoughts on RWBY - Jaune and Pyrrha

Let's be 100% honest with ourself. Pyrrha is Hermione, and Jaune is Ron Weasley.

Hermione was created to show us how magic works. Ron was created to show us how magic does not work. The same holds true with Pyrrha and Jaune. And, in the process, it turns out that Pyrrha is one of the only people in the setting that actually knows how Aura works. Most Aura users seem to learn how to turn it on. They then use it without thinking about. Ruby and Nora learn to use it to move their giant weapons, but seem completely ignorant to the fact that they can... use it to attack people without their weapons.

Yang uses it for brute strength,

Which we see no one else doing.

Now, for Jaune and Pyrrha's place in the story. A lot of people talk about who Jaune, but Jaune isn't.

Ruby isn't the protagonist. RWBY is. And because of this, JNPR is the deuteragonist. By Volume 4, JNR got bumped up to full heroes in their own right.

The Ship of Theseus, and all that.

Wait, what happened to Pyrrha? Well, she's too good. The simple fact is that if Pyrrha has been alive, she would have solved most of the problems on her own. Even the social problems, and all of the main characters love Pyrrha so much that her disapproval would probably stop most of the post-Haven bullshit. Seriously, she probably couldn't have talked Ironwood into unclenching his iron fist.

She had to die.

She had to die against an enemy the rest of the main cast could not beat.

She had to die against an enemy that cheats at the fight.

As for Jaune? Well, he's the only character the legitimately grows throughout the story. Everyone else keeps falling back into their old sins. This is because Jaune HAS to grow, because without Pyrrha, he literally would not have survived the landing into the Emerald Forest.

He's also the only person in the entire story that is actually trying to stop all of the idiotic bullshit that CRWBY was intent to force upon them. Ladybug terrorists, Yang mewling at the absence of her abusive girlfriend, Atlas literally falling to the ground.

Hell, his absence was so impactful that Ruby and Weiss had nervous breakdowns.

Let's be honest, though, seeing the Rusted Knight was almost as impactful as seeing adult Enzo Matrix. The Paper Pleasers were also delightful. Weiss finally pulled the stick out of her ass, and found herself strangely happy about it. And then what happened? Ruby unloads on Jaune.

Oh, dear God, I made the mistake of skimming through Vol 9 to see if Ruby learns to eschew her protagonist-centred morality. Instead, Ruby learned the important lesson that she's perfect the way she is, and the right path for the future is the path of selfishness.

And the black-washed Alice in Wonderland robbed us of a future Alice Huntress. She could fight with a flamingo croquet mallet/grenade launcher! Nora would love that!

Moving on. Jaune's place in RWBY is not being good enough. And that's what fans want to see. It's easy to save the world if you have showy teleportation powers, and can do a pirouette with a sniper rifle/scythe as you behead Grimm, but having fear you have to overcome, prudence to stop you from entering fights you cannot overcome, and to have to learn how Aura works, rather than just having it work for you, adds conflict. It keeps the story interesting. It keeps you invested.

There's the reason why the man who named The Hero's Journey later called i the Monomyth, because pretty much every culture on Holy Terra has a similar story.

But, luckily for us, CRWBY kept forgetting he existed, so he was allowed to actually develop properly as a character.

An for Pyrrha? She's literally and figuratively an angel. She's literally and figuratively too good for this world.

And I love how Ruby acts like she was betrayed by Atlas, when she literally joined a terrorist group to stop Atlas from rebuilding important infrastructure.

#rwby #jaune arc #pyrrha #Youtube

[umbran6]

What if... Leo Became a God?

Okay, but what if Leo literally burnt away his mortality during Blood of Olympus while fighting Gaea?

Now, before you go ahead and bring out the sledgehammers and pitchforks, or think I'm just doing it as a joke, this is a possibility that I'm being very sincere in considering this. And it is a possibility, because this isn't the first time this has happened in myth - Heracles did it first. So if burning himself alive in a freaking pyre was all Heracles needed to ascend to godhood, Leo literally burning himself alive using his own flames to kill a Primordial should be more than enough. Plus there's the whole Hera mimicking what Demeter did with Demophon, so we could say he's nearly there. Him burning himself alive is just that final push he needed to become a god, burning away his own mortality.

I mean, think about it. The prophecy always said, an oath to hold with a final breath, but it never meant Leo had to get close to perma-dead. Riordan did it just fine with the Physician's Cure, having Leo achieve apotheosis to do so would also be a way to circumvent the loophole in the prophecy. The phrasing is vague in that 'final breath' could be interpreted in multiple ways, such as 'one's final breath as a mortal.'

Oh the irony. We all thought Leo was going to die, then bam! Boy ends up with a permanent lease on life by literally burning himself alive, a lot more power than he could ever imagine getting, and a lot of freedom he never had as a mortal. He's lucky demigod #3 to ascend to godhood without divine patronage, right after Heracles and Dionysus. When he returns to Camp Half-Blood, it isn't on Festus, but him straight-up materializing in the middle of his funeral. Nearly every Greek and Roman but especially Nico mentally screams WTF as they realize that the funeral hasn't even ended, and Leo's shroud is basically his first offering.

His friends reactions to seeing him - and realizing the truth of what he has become. Jason and Piper are in shock, realizing that their friend is now going to stay young and will eventually watch them die and have to move on. Frank and Hazel are bewildered, because Leo's plan to burn himself alive to defeat Gaea had gone horribly right and now they have to deal with the fact that they had a hand in Leo's apotheosis. Percy and Annabeth are bewildered and shocked at the fact that Leo just straight up became a god - and the now very real reality that one of them may eventually do so (cough cough Percy).

When Leo goes to free Calypso, she literally has to process the fact that the boy she may have liked is now a god - the very beings she despises for imprisoning her in Ogygia. That eventually Leo may most likely move on to someone else and dump her. This crashes especially hard when she gets out of that island and realizes that she's become mortal. The dynamics between them have completely changed and Leo isn't aware of it, and Calypso doesn't know how to process that.

Hera is the one to explain exactly is going on to Leo, because she knows she had a hand in Leo becoming a god. She owes him at the very least to guide Leo in his new reality, and both the positive and negative benefits that are associated with ascension to godhood. Hephaestus doesn't know how to handle Leo now basically being just there forever, because none of his children ever became gods unless they were the children of him and a god. Nemesis marvels at the irony of Leo becoming a god while stealing Gaea's life, noting that this was a rather marvelous way that Leo rained his vengeance upon her. Apollo's just friendly because now he has a new friend to be with him in Olympus.

But this ending - for Heroes of Olympus as a whole - would be more poetic and a parallel to The Last Olympian. Percy was satisfied with who he was, protecting the world to save those he loves and he's happy with that. Leo is one who ascends to the heavens in his feat to avenge those he loves and destroying those who tried to destroy him.

But... there's one thing they have in common.

Leo's first act as a god isn't to rescue Calypso. It isn't to appear before the Seven and let them know he's alive. Leo appears in the Underworld and requests for only a single soul to be allowed a second chance at life. The single soul that he loves the most.

Esperanza Valdez is brought out of the underworld, and Leo freezes. The boy on fire who became a god turns back into a boy of eight years old as he finally gets back the mom he lost so long ago as he hugs her as best as he can. He hadn't expected to be a god. He didn't know what would happen next. But this - this is one of the few times things actually feel right. They've both been given a new lease on life - one longer than the other, but they can finally keep moving forward.

#leo valdez #percy jackson #annabeth chase #frank zhang #hazel levesque #heroes of olympus #pjo calypso #pjoverse #piper mclean #pjo hera #pjo hoo toa #rick riordan #jason grace #pjo apollo #apollo #pjo nemesis #Leo Valdez needs a hug #he finally gets one #Leo becomes a god #esperanza valdez

[needle-noggins]

Volume 7 destroyed me. Part 1 of whatever this analysis is. Lots of talk about childhood trauma. Vash is such a complex character so if there are inconsistencies in my logic here, help me.

So in Volume 7, we get some pretty heavy flashbacks to Vash and Knives' shared trauma of discovering Tesla, and it's juxtaposed with Vash meeting up with Knives in the ark, contrasting then and now. Highlighting how they've changed and developed in response to their shared trauma - which is to say, in opposite ways. And not necessarily just due to their personalities. In fact, I would say that Knives is more sensitive, sweet, and trusting pre-Tesla. Vash is a bit more aloof, although still a good kid.

Also, here's the lily.

White flowers are a common Japanese symbol for death/grief and are primarily used in funerals. Lilies can symbolize purity and innocence (don't quote me on this one though). Rem must have put that flower there and kept it alive. She does say that she opposed the experimentation and regrets Tesla's suffering and death, but this drives the point home in a way that also highlights Rem's character and her love for flowers (which, tbh, seems more of a Tristamp thing I think? Regardless, I hope the next season of Stampede has more Tesla flashbacks with the white lily. That would be a nice nod to the manga).

Back to Tesla trauma. God, it makes me sick. The cold, detached way in which she's described as the "subject" hits home for me because I have to write like that for a living working in healthcare. It's commonplace and required, but man, it's terrifying reading it and understanding that there's 0 compassion in there. Medical ethics (or lack thereof) are my kryptonite. It gets me every time.

To make things worse, it's gory in it's own sterile way. Tesla's body is contained in nice little tanks, but if you look into those tanks... oof. She's riddled with tumors, organs are near-indistinguishable, and her small little child legs make it all the more horrifying. That's a child. With a detached, tiny baby angel arm in another tank. It may be important to note that this is reminiscent of Vash's angel arm (it's the right arm) but also it's the arm that's detached (well, both of Tesla's are, but this one was likely removed first and by Dr. Conrad and the team). Foreshadowing, in a weird way? And Tesla's entire brain is in another tank, with her eye. At what point did this happen? Was she still conscious for that? I want to scream.

Vash is not handling this well. He's the first to cry out about the differences between plants and humans. Also, the composition of that last panel here is incredible - the emotion is palpable. And the eyes?? Eyes of all the humans, watching them as they sleep in the ship, waiting to pounch, or Tesla's eyes, watching from the tank, casting judgement down? Either way, it's evocative. Poor baby Vash. He is so so angry and so scared.

Knives, meanwhile, shatters so badly that he blocks it out and/or represses it without showing a single emotion - as a defense mechanism. This certainly seems more like a Vash-style response, right?

Do remember that these boys are twins. Despite all their differences that have baked in as adults now, they were much more similar as kids. The specific circumstances in their experience immediately post-Tesla then shape them for the rest of their lives and cause the rift between them that we see today (in the same volume, no less). It's nothing but pure tragedy.

Which then brings us to the next scene - Vash, even at such a young age, is already showing tendencies of self-harm and suicidal ideation. He's refusing to eat, wasting away. He'd rather die than live long enough to become another experiment, to be subjected to that torture. There is no safe place for him in this world of humans, and Knives is refusing to acknowledge it (he's literally asleep during this; we love an avoidant king - jk but i'm handshaking w/ Knives; relatable). Rem, bless her, tries to treat Vash to some freshly-cut fruit (also a symbol of familial love in Japan - acts of service and all) but ya know, she forgets the cardinal rule when handling someone who is suicidal - don't let them have access to sharp objects. No knives for you, Vash.

BIG MOM MOMENT. Rem grabs the sharp edge of the blade and lets it cut her to prevent Vash from harming himself. She may not have birthed these boys, but damn if she isn't their mother in every other way. (also, quick point - generational trauma - Rem's grief over Alex's death becomes Vash's grief over Rem's death? I don't have good formed thoughts on this yet).

UGH. The flip side of Rem's blank ticket philosophy - the future is blank, so why throw the present away? There's always, always hope. Isn't that just the overarching message of Trigun?

This is obviously a formative moment for Vash. He never forgets this lesson.

Caveat to this, Vash is still a very self-destructive character as an adult, verging on suicidal without being outrightly so. He has let this moment shape his character, but he still others himself in that he believes this philosophy doesn't apply to him, an Independent. Vash has said before that there's no hope for him, he wishes he had never been born, and he's only really alive to destroy Knives and finish what they started. That's uh, Not Good... what will make Vash want to finally live? (*shhhhh, spoilers!*) Anyway, Vash applies this lesson to Wolfwood in Wolfwood's weakest moment. Vash sees himself in Wolfwood in the "Shoot" moment, no doubt, he sees his fear and anger, even if it's a bit of a different flavor. Wolfwood is simultaneously suicidal in that moment and has this twisted logic of, If Vash can kill me he can kill anyone; this will help him and i'm willing to die for that cause.

Someone tell me their thoughts on this parallel. I kinda just want to scream incoherently about it. That's all I got.

Anyway.

It takes some extra learning in this moment before Vash can figure his shit out. He takes the situation from bad to worse - he's still angry at humans for his pain, still terrified. He's so angry that he stabs Rem - his mother figure, the only person other than Knives that he's ever known and trusted - and instantly regrets it, terrified that he'll lose her (before his worst fears are later realized, and he does and it's his fault, again).

It's like, you know, the feeling when you hurt your sibling because you're so fucking mad at them, but the moment they're actually hurt, you're instantly filled with fear and regret? (THIS WILL COME INTO PLAY LATER TOO I PROMISE.)

I can imagine it's 10 times worse with a parent.

And Knives is asleep! For all of this! I think the one big takeaway with the twins is that Vash has always been the more outwardly emotional one, and Knives has always been more sensitive but withdrawn. Vash expresses his anger outwardly, getting it out quickly, even if it's very destructive in the moment. But this moment teaches him to do otherwise - he sees the result of his anger, and he's terrified out of doing anything to cause harm ever again. Vash tries to kill Rem! Vash, who now wouldn't hurt a soul, even if he wants to! He's terrified of the consequences, and with the added idolization of Rem's memory... yeah. So as an adult, Vash turns away from "flight" and into "fawn" as his main trauma response. He just wants to make things right and he's willing to break a hundred times for it so no one else has to get hurt. (he's also very much a "flight" still, but ya know)

Knives sits back, represses, plots until his emotions have twisted beyond recognition and his resulting actions are a hundred times more irrational and fucked up. Very much "fight". And it's even more terrifying, actually.

When Knives wakes up, he's calm. He's collected. He says he doesn't remember what happened. He's plotting to doom the whole SEEDS project. He's going to kill them all, and he's not showing a single emotion until he's gleefully realized his plan is working. That's horrifying.

I think this is where I'll stop for now. I'm not a therapist or psychiatrist or expert in trauma in any way and this post is quickly running away from me and into a psychoanalysis of the twins, which I just don't feel equipped to do here, never mind have the right words for. But at least this can get a conversation started.

#trigunbookclub #trimax #trimax spoilers #GOD i juST SJKDHGKSJHFKKHS

[famwhy]

hii i LOVED ur tangerine story it was so good. the ending was fr shocking like i was NOT expecting that whatsoever. i was expecting the reader to fail and for tangerine to die but you really blew it out of the park w that ending. Idk if you write like smut oneshots but if you'd write one where tangerine fingers her in a train seat in a busy carriage that would be cool

Hello! Thank you so much for your compliments,it really means the world to me that you enjoyed the Tangerine fic I wrote after watching the movie recently and growing obsessed with him which made it like 10x more fun to write.

Now, I'm sorry to say, but I don't write explicit smut. Sorry, it's my fault for not confirming it in my bio haha. However, I could write you a quick scenario of him teasing the Reader with a bunch of sexual innuendos.

Also! Please don't let the fact that I don't write smut stop you from requesting Tangerine content because I'm more than happy to provide stories with the angry Brit that I currently have a huge obsession for.

Warning: cussing, mentions of sexual content and sexual innuendos - nothing too explicit however

(This ask is related to this post)

Your eyes lit up; stood at the very tip of your toes in anticipation as the male next to you stuffed his hand into his pocket and pulled out the familiar leather material that contained his riches within.

The day was scorching hot - you could, quite literally, see the heatwaves in the air. It was unbearable and definitely not the conditions one would wish for when going on a date.

Fortunately for both you and Tangerine, there was an ice cream stand nearby the park you decided to take a walk in. Or well, more fortunate for you than Tangerine - who claimed that he 'wasn't in the mood for ice cream'. Absolute bullshit, everyone was always in the mood for ice cream.

Upon voicing your opinion, he scoffed in response before going, 'what? You want it then?' - to which you obviously responded with an enthusiastic 'yes!'.

That brought you to now, waiting in all your excited glory as the man behind the ice cream stand pulled out a frozen popsicle and held his hand out, waiting for payment.

"Can't believe I'm fuckin' doin' this." Grumbled the Brit as he took out his money.

You merely grinned in response, thrilled to finally have something to temporarily distract you from the scorching heat that felt like flames licking against your skin; mere seconds away from burning you alive.

Yeah, not a very nice sensation to say the least.

"Here you go, pretty lady." The ice cream man winked your way, handing the plastic wrapper containing the ice lolly inside while grazing his fingers against your own.

His actions were enough to cause Tangerine's eyes to narrow and, ever the confrontational man, he spoke out regarding his discontent. "Oi, fuck off mate. Are you blind or some'n? She's with me."

Sensing that this was most definitely going to lead into a rather violent exchange, you wrapped your hands around your lover's bicep before tugging him away, a nervous smile growing on your face.

Luckily, he was in a good enough mood to allow you to tug him away without much protest - only a few cusses grumbled under his breath but that was probably the most tame you could get him.

As soon as you got a good amount of distance between the both of you and the ice cream man, you let go of your man in favour of opening up the frozen delight in your hands and shoving it straight into your mouth.

Immediately, an explosion of frost sprayed against the warm cavern - sending a cool feeling down your spine and helping to temporarily rid you of the warmth that overrode your system.

The cool sensation caused you to feel a large amount of relief and you let out a sigh with your eyes closed.

Now this was the perfect way to spend a hot summer day.

"You enjoyin' sucking on that lolly, love?"

The words coated in a smug, cockney tone made their way over to your ears and reminded you of the presence beside you - causing you to glance to your side and witness the large smirk spread across the handsome male's lips.

"'Cause I sure as hell know somethin' else you'd love to suck on."

His half-lidded gaze bore into your own, all but practically telling you that he was over his previous anger in favour of a new sense of desire that flooded through him.

Desire that came way too suddenly for you.

You spluttered, grip weakening around the stick in your hands as your jaw fell even further open; frozen treat barely remaining rested against your tongue.

"Yuh-you-!"

He chuckled. "Can't speak? Don't worry, dahlin', when we get home - you won't be able to stop making sounds for me."

This horny bastard.

#tangerine #tangerine x you #tangerine x reader #tangerine x y/n #bullet train #tangerine bullet train #x reader #x female reader #female reader

[atopvisenyashill]

That whole era of the Second Quarrel onwards is so obscure when it comes to the succession and the tensions surrounding it. No reactions. No massive events or much about dynamics. I want to know about Viserys's coronation. I want to know what he felt about his own succession before the GC. And before that, I want to know if Baelon ever tried to mend fences. If Jaehaerys ever mentioned it again, and how. How Rhaenys made her life, now all but an exile, on Driftmark. What motivated Aemma and Viserys's marriage. WHEN DID JOCELYN DIE?!

LITERALLY OMG. Number one frustrating thing about F&B is we get pages and pages of stuff no one in the world gives a shit about - Maiden's Day, that stupid story about Jaehaerys fucking the writer - and nothing on the subjects that actually got most people into the damn series like the POLITICS or the MAGIC. all of THAT is completly glossed over or Gyldane (and Yandel for that matter) just go "Well Barth did say this thing but that's nonsense" and then no elaboration. drives me up a WALL because yeah sure maybe the long, pages upon pages of battles and fighting are not my cup of tea but a) they're perfectly well written and b) THEY MAKE UP FOR IT BY GIVING ME SEVERAL CHAPTERS IN A ROW OF CERSEI AND SANSA JUST CHILLING AND POLITICKING IN DETAIL. He makes up for that in F&B by giving me MORE Jaehaerys as if that's what I want!!!

There's a few eras in F&B I think are likely to come up in the main series or in dunk and egg which is why I think F&B is so frustratingly vague (and if they were kept vague for no reason….george what. george WHY). And I do get he wanted to give us more of what he was writing without spoiling later books but good lord i would actually rather wait longer for material that isn't 60% george going "well i can't tell them ALL of that, let's just wink at the audience." The Second Quarrel is one of those times that might be relevant later imo largely because there's just. NOTHING. NO INFO. NO EVENTS. Like you said, there are NO major events in this time period. the ONLY thing happening is politics and court intrigue but F&B isn’t interested in court intrigue unless it involves grooming a 12 year old girl and unfortunately there is only poor Aemma being groomed at this time so F&B says “too many old people they’re not sexy” and just gives us sparse details about marriage dates, birth dates, and death dates. We don’t even see how rhaenys and viserys feel about THEE QUEEN ALYSANNE dying!!!!!!!! She just. Passes. oh so sad. george i’m in your walls!

Unlike every other Targaryen child (Aemma, Viserys, Daemon, herself, even Aerea and Rhaelle to an extent) who is allowed to grow up at court surrounded by other Valyrians and members of the royal family, Rhaenys kids are denied this. With this move, as you say, Jaehaerys all but tells Rhaenys "get you and your fuckin kids the hell out of my city." Can you imagine being Rhaenys, newly pregnant, having been told for years by your father and grandmother that you will be Queen one day just to be suddenly and unceremoniously exiled from court and kicked completely out of the line of succession? Can't even begin to get into how deranged it is to do this to your pregnant granddaughter when she's mourning the loss of her father

WHEN DOES JOCELYN BARATHEON DIE. HOW DOES SHE FEEL ABOUT HER DAUGHTER AND GRANDKIDS BEING PASSED OVER?????? She is only a year or two older than Aemon, she could easily have still been alive and making a fuss during Viserys' reign especially after he names Rhaenyra his heir SO HOW DID SHE FEEL ABOUT ALL OF THIS.

Baelon and Viserys' coronations/weddings/big We Are The Royal Line Now Shenangians during this era are crazyyy right, because THE QUEEN OF WESTEROS is refusing to talk to the iron throne, can’t ride her dragon anymore, is losing her hearing and memory, and goes everywhere with Gael to the point that no one even attempts to marry Gael bc they know Alysanne will never let her go. THATS INSANE. They are LIVING SEPARATELY like practically pseudo divorced the way Doran and Mellario are, so is Alysanne just purposefully snubbing these celebrations and using “i’m old” as an excuse or is she passive aggressively riding a carriage all the way back to KL just to show up wearing velaryon colors to viserys’ wedding and then left again without saying goodbye before the banquet even started???

AMD BAELON. part of why i’m so turned off by him is bc we have no indication he felt even a little had but to be fair it has been pointed out to me that we ALSO have no indication he didn’t feel bad; we have no indication of his feelings whatsoever!!! for all we know HE could have felt this was unfair & had been in the middle of either brokering a marriage between his grandkids and her kids, or figured “hey we had this exact same issue with Auntie Rhaena, maybe I should build House Targaryen a second and third seat or even given Dragonstone to The First Born Girl as tradition from now on” like he really could have been trying OR he could have been cackling and rubbing his hands together and encouraging viserys to bed 13 year old aemma soon and often to ensure their line, and calling rhaenys a stupid bitch at court, like we just don’t know!!!!!

We get several “they never agreed on the succession” comments but how does that translate to ACTION. stop telling me dates and tell me WHAT HAPPENED.

#main problem is honestly not enough action. i get why. but maybe. this wasn’t the format for this story hmmm!! #anti f&b #f&b critical #fire and blood critical #asks #anons

[mamayan]

Warning: Dead Dove: Do Not Eat•NSFW•Yandere•Dark Themes•BNHA/HxH

Just a short list of yanderes you’d be better off dead than getting taken by, ranked least to worst in my opinion. This is VERY dark, and will describe ways these yanderes may accidentally or intentionally kill you. I keep it theoretical because I don’t like it too much either but you won’t see me willingly write these characters as yanderes much because they are SCARY.

Let me know if you want a part 2, and feel free to throw in comments of those you think would make the “better dead than alive with them” list!

First up on this list is Izuku Midoriya, a delusional yandere with a wildly deranged way of treating you.

He first and foremost, does not care if you love him or not, he’s going to make you act like you do though (which is torture itself). Izuku is a caretaker sort of yandere, but he’s abusive in going about it. Not being good in the bath? He’s dislocated your shoulder so you settle down. Wanna be mouthy and not eat the dinner he’s trying to feed you? He’s dislocated your jaw/slapping you so hard you spit blood/ gut punching you.

He’s also very much into your tears, but it’s up to you how you cry in the first place. Whether it’s from pain, fear, sadness, happiness, or overwhelming pleasure, Izuku loves your tears. He loves any reactions he can draw from you that makes you cute and vulnerable for him. He will absolutely break bones and even make you watch him harm your loved ones to make you comply. He won’t kill you, no never, he loves you, but if you make any sort of mistake… he’ll make you wish he didn’t love you so much.

When you do become compliant and obedient, because he will make you, it’s hell then too. He goes crazy with a power trip when you willingly (not really) submit to him. He will humiliate and degrade you (without ever cursing at your or even using words like slut/whore/worthless/etc.) “You look so cute on your knees like that, and look! You did it all by yourself this time, such a good pet, I’m so proud. You didn’t even wet yourself or make a mess this time!” He’ll remind you of the time he knocked the literal air from your lungs to drop you to your knees, which caused you to be unable to control your bladder.

He’s damn creepy too and won’t let you use the bathroom alone, sometimes won’t even let you wipe. And no, this isn’t just reserved for urine. The first time you held it so long and accidentally pissed yourself out of retaliation, he forced you to wear a diaper for a month until you were “potty trained” again.

Sex with him is not mild either nor does he care if it’s consensual, he makes you beg for your release or risk being edged until you go insane. He won’t let up. He’s also a big man as an adult, and he’s not inclined to be gentle in bed with you.

His treatment is a disgusting combination of infantilization and straight brutality. He will simultaneously make you act/feel like a helpless infant, and if you don’t comply with that treatment or lash out in any way, he’s fucking you up. If you put up a fight long enough, it could enrage him and cause him to accidentally snap your neck in his attempt to force you to calm down.

10/10 a yandere I personally would rather die than have. He’s awful. Delusional and thinks he’s doing nothing wrong, he’s the #1 Hero! He can’t do anything wrong! A literal monster. Comfort yourself inside though that you as a darling to Izuku would act as a barrier preventing him from unleashing his unhinged sadism on the world. Instead it’s you that gets that burden. In your own way, you’re a hero too. Tread with caution.

Next on this list is Shizuku Murasaki, don’t let her cute looks fool you, she is an absolute nightmare to have as a yandere for two very specific reasons.

She’s forgetful and forceful.

Shizuku will kidnap you, lock you away from the world, and then forget about how long she’s been gone from home. In her mind, it’s only been a few days, you should have plenty to eat. What she fails to remember is how impossible it is for you to escape or call her or anyone for help, as all the food disappears and the water shuts off due to her not paying the bill. Starvation and dehydration have nearly killed you multiple times. To the point you cry and beg, have severe panic attacks, when she leaves you for even a moment. Shizuku will also mistake this behavior for love, and while so cruelly cooing and soothing you, tell you she’s only going for a few hours a few weeks.

When you aren’t worried for your next meal and survival, she’s also terrible at providing you with even basic necessities like tooth paste, soap, laundry detergent. Her forgetfulness in paying water/electricity/sewage is also a major downfall in your comfort. You’ll freeze in the winter and possibly die of heat in the summer. She forgot to give you extra blankets.

Oops.

Trash has piled up and grown moldy?

Oops.

No water to shower or drink in days so you’re forced to get water from the toilet and use a bucket for your waste?

Oops.

Passed out from lack of food or nutrition?

Oops.

She’s downright a menace when it comes to taking care of you, but somehow extremely good in keeping you locked up. You have permanent damage to your nail beds from trying to claw your way through the wood of the front door. You might be saved from punishments because she’s lazy in that regard, and while she doesn’t hit or yell at you no matter how nasty your behavior, there is no denying she takes what she wants. You’re hungry and dehydrated? That needs to wait, she wants to cum and she wants to do it on your face. You feel disgusting and caked in your own sweat and grim from a week with no shower? She wants to use her new strap she picked up, so it needs to wait.

You’ll live in constant fear of dying due to her neglect and it will be a painful, lonely, and sadistic end.

11/10 sadistic without even meaning to be. The severe neglect will kill you eventually, it’s a slow and agonizing end you can’t help fighting whether you like it or not. You’ll die in your own filth, maybe from a combination of air toxicity, infection, starvation, and dehydration. Better to off yourself early if I’m being honest. She might even forget you died in her grief when she finds you, so don’t expect a proper burial, she’ll let you rot in the bed until another Troupe Member (sadly likely Phinks) has to remove your corpse and clean up.

Next we have, Overhaul, or Kai Chisaki on this list. Don’t let his handsome appearance fool you, while he may be beautiful, inside he is mentally ill to the extreme. You think he’s a bad man for abusing and torturing a little girl?

Kai is just as strict of a yandere as Izuku, but combined with his warped view of you and his OCD, it turns downright terrifying. He kills everyone you love before he takes you, because in his eyes they are literal vermin that only wish to taint and ruin you. He will calmly explain in detail who he killed and how he did it to you. If that isn’t enough, any pets you have? Dead. Immediately. They’re filthy animals that will taint you. Human contact? Forget about it. You will never feel skin on skin contact again in his care, not even his. I see a lot of depictions of Kai being a sex god as yandere, but as a real one? Even in his own eyes, he’s not worthy of touching you. He exults you to such a degree that you aren’t even really human in his eyes. Of course, you’ll be treated like the finest glass porcelain doll ever crafted, but aside from sitting on a shelf to rot for the rest of your life, then nothing else is happening. You’ll likely go insane in his care, because of the stark white room he’ll keep you in, so devoid of germs or bacteria it’ll be nauseatingly clean. The lights will go off for you to sleep for only 8 hours, but after that it’s fluorescent lights glaring at you for the remaining 16 hours of the day. Your bathroom won’t be any reprieve. You’ll have absolutely no personal comforts. Food will be the SAME THING for every meal, breakfast, lunch, dinner, and so bland and boring you’ll struggle to accept your new life.

Kai, like Shizuku, is also a yandere that wont hit you… but he’ll use his quirk on you. He’s not above taking you apart violently and putting you back together over and over and over.

Eventually you may even try to anger him just for him to take you apart. To feel something. He provides no entertainment. None at all. Have fun with your own mind and solitude in that white room.

Kai is also the most likely to have a mental break, so if you cross a certain line, he may kill you accidentally. Things like trying to seduce one of his men (for escape purposes), trying to harm yourself, trying to harm him, being filthy (you might cringe at the thought of wiping your own feces on the walls, but eventually shame and embarrassment will leave you).

He’s most likely to snap and try and clean you himself, your act of rebellion by dirtying/hurting him/harming yourself will likely leave you in a situation of…

a). He accidentally drowns you in his panicked state of washing you.

b). He uses some type of chemical (bleach) which leaves you severely injured/burned and you succumb to your wounds before medical attention can save you.

Kai is out of his damn mind, thinks of you as if you are a God/Goddess, and if you break that delusion, he will snap. I also think he’d preserve your body somehow, and you’d end up in a Snow White case so he can always look at you.

12/10 batshit crazy and very scary. No human autonomy. I just can’t help but think he’d 100% use bleach to try and “clean” his darling and that’s not a fun way to die at all. Also, his form of worship is so skewed and warped it leaves nothing but a bad taste in my mouth. He’s the idolize and stick on a shelf type, a very lonely and isolated way to live. At least Shizuku let’s you watch TV when the cable/electrical bills get paid. Kai won’t even let you have a book. Prisoner of war PTSD which will eventually lead to real insanity from that white room and isolation if Kai doesn’t kill you first.

#dead dove do not eat #DARK THEMES #YANDERE #MDNI #MENTION OF DEATH #shizuku murasaki #Kai chisaki #overhaul #bnha #hxh #hunter x hunter #let me know your thoughts #i definitely fear yanderes like this #Izuku Midoriya

[thedawningofthehour]

I just had a morbid thought. But, what if Galois die? Either by an anti-mutant Yokai group, in a kidnapping attempt by the mercenaries or by members of the resistance? How would the characters react?

Well, that would be an incredibly unfulfilling end to the story, for one. And don't get me wrong, character deaths that are by design unsatisfying absolutely have their place, (Finnick's death in Mockingjay comes to mind) but I feel like it would be more frustrating here than make a point.

Honestly, I could see it going either way for Draxum. He could either give up right then and there and die with him, or he could go total Rhaenyra after Luke's death. Total liquidation on his enemies, and no mercy for his allies who object. Once that was over, though, he wouldn't really have any direction and would eventually end up destroying himself. He means it when he says he can't lose Galois. He could handle losing anyone else, everyone else. Even Cass, he'd totally go Angry Murder Dad for her as well, but it wouldn't destroy him like losing Galois would. (it might have been different if he was lying to himself about Cass's origins as well, but he still lies to himself and says she isn't his daughter)

If Cass is still alive and Galois is dead, then the world would end. Instantaneously. She'd explode like the birth of a star.

It would also kill Splinter. Not right away, he'd live long enough to get revenge on Draxum and everyone who contributed to his son's death, but he'd end himself not long after. He wasn't lying when he said he couldn't lose another kid. That also applies to losing the same kid twice. Losing Donnie the first time almost killed him as it was.

(Leo ramble under the cut because I went way off the rails-but fuck it I wrote the end scene of the next chapter in one sitting today I am allowed to go a little insane)

I'm hesitant to go all 'two halves of the same whole, twins can't live without each other' because we literally have proof that Leo can live without Donnie. We don't know how long Donnie's been dead by the point the movie starts-Leo having his bandana wrapped around his sword implies that it wasn't very recent, while Casey's familiarity with Donnie and the fact that his gear is certified GeniusBuilt shows that his death must have happened when Casey was old enough to remember him, or even after Casey started training and Donnie built weapons to suit his fighting style. So Leo's probably been without Donnie for at least a couple of years at that point. And he is still kicking ass and serving cunt, in his very homosexual way-though he does kind of have a whole-ass kid to raise and the resistance to live for, which he doesn't have in doth. And even in the movie, Future Leo throws himself into a Krang incineration beam rather than return to the past with Casey and live without the family he's lost. And there's the whole deal with Leo sacrificing himself so there's no chance whatsoever of living to see his brothers die.

I just don't see Leo being able to move on from something like that. Knowing his brother died pointlessly, maybe even painfully, never remembering who he was. There would be no closure, no point to start moving on. I talked about this with another fic author, the whole thing about fulfilling vs. unfulfilling deaths in media, and I think Future Donnie's death is as good as any to talk about that.

Like, let's talk about Replica's Donnie. He died epicly. In the midst of battle, sacrificing himself to plant a spy probe, and even got in some snappy comments to Prime (and maybe killing him too? I'd have to reread) before ending his own life. From his family's perspective, yes, it felt pointless and awful and they would much rather Donnie back than whatever bullshit he sacrificed himself for. And it's tragic for the audience, but it still feels satisfying. Donnie went out on his own terms, for a cause, in a literal blaze of glory. We see his family mourn, but we also see Leo receive some measure of closure from Omega telling him how proud Donnie always was of him. And crying right after-but as he tells Casey a frame later, he felt just a little better.

Or a more subtle example in Cass's series. Donnie's (temporary) death is none of that. He dies weakened to the point where he can't even stand up on his own, he dies quietly and he dies slowly. It was heartbreaking-like, bitch, I cried, but I don't think a single person would call it unsatisfying. Even with his quiet, demure death, so undeserving of him and his awesomeness, there was still a sense of satisfaction in the fact that he was such a threat that the Krang had to resort to such tactics to kill him. (and that he stuck it to them one final time, outliving their expectations and coming back to fuck them up when they thought they were safe, he had to be dead) And in the end, he's accepted his death, he tied up all his loose ends and feels ready to go. He dies peacefully, spending his final moments feeling his brothers' love for him. His brothers get to hold him and say goodbye. Yes, they're in mourning, but they show hints of healing and moving on-until Mikey finds out that Donnie's spirit isn't with their ancestors. That pulls the wound right back open, and Leo doesn't really seem to move on from there.

Having Donnie die as Galois I think would be a lot like that for Leo. Raph, Mikey, and even April would find ways to move on-after getting their revenge, of course, but they would use Donnie's memory to drive them forward. "Plant this tree because Donnie would have liked that." "Buy only produce from sustainable farming practices for my restaurant because Donnie would have approved." "Get that degree because Donnie would have kicked my ass if I didn't."

I don't think Leo would be able to do that. I think he'd feel very lost, with a lot of rage and sorrow and no real direction for any of it, no drive to find an outlet and get his life back on track. Maybe he wouldn't outright shoot himself, but he'd stop caring about keeping himself alive.

#like i said i wrote a very intense scene in one sitting today #i always go a little nuts when i do that #doth asks #tw suicide #fuck i didn't add a trigger warning for the last ask i mentioned it in did i #i'm sorry i am so bad at tagging shit #a lot of stuff kind of falls under the umbrella of 'if you're reading this fic you already know what you've signed up for' #but i feel like suicide talk deserves an extra warning just in case

[what-if-queen-camilla]

Chapter 18

18th January 1993 

It couldn’t be true. It had to be a nightmare. The worst nightmare she had ever had. Surely somebody would wake her up soon, assuring her that everything was alright and nothing bad had happened, that Charles and her most intimate bedtime phone talk had not really been exposed to the whole world, that her children, parents and neighbours, all of their friends, her parent’s friends, her children’s friends, Andrew’s colleagues, Charles’ family, her children’s teachers, her own teachers (those who were still alive) and literally everybody on this planet not only had read or heard about Charles and her affair but actually their whole, silly, private conversation which was now ridiculed and scrutinised everywhere. She could never leave the house again. She would die here, die of shame and guilt and embarrassment. What had she done to her family? How could they ever possibly forgive her? How could they ever even talk to her again, without always having these awful few words in mind which had become the number one subject of several cartoons and silly jokes on the radio and television within the wink of an eye? How could anyone ever possibly take her seriously again, without deliberately or not, thinking of that? She was going to be branded a whore forever. Her poor parents. They didn’t deserve this. Her mother was already suffering enough from that horrible disease that had carried off her grandmother so painfully just a few years ago and now she even had to deal with her daughter’s disgraceful scandal. To say, she'd be appalled would be a dramatic understatement, not to speak of her father who'd probably never be able to look into her eyes again. And how on earth was she supposed to explain all of this mess to her poor little innocent darling Theodora who was only just five and had no idea of the ways of the world yet, but who had started school only just a couple of months ago and was surely going to be confronted with the fact that her mother and Sir were more than just friends at some point, probably not very decently or age appropriate. Camilla just wanted to stay in bed forever and die. At least she had been able to reach Andrew in London and he had immediately gone and picked up Tom from Eton. Annabel was meanwhile looking after Laura, who's boarding school wasn't far from Stourpaine, and she just wanted her children to be safe and sound, away from the spotlight and the public eye. And, thank God, Thea had been home with her anyway, as it had been Sunday yesterday. She hadn't talked to her about it yet, she just didn't know how; and she was incredibly afraid and felt deeply ashamed. But surely her little sunshine would notice that something was wrong, rather sooner than later… She was so sensitive with these kinds of things. Camilla sighed and pressed her tear stained face into her pillow. What was the time? She hadn't slept a second yet but it had to be almost time to get up… soon it would be 24 hours since her whole world had been turned upside down so cruelly. The house of cards had collapsed. It was over, it had to be, Charles was going to leave her now, they'd surely force him to give up on her, and she'd never see him again. She felt another stitch in her heart and was overwhelmed by another wave of tears. She didn't even feel sorry for herself, she just felt so incredibly sorry for her family, her children, and of course, his children as well. The poor boys had already suffered enough due to that awful book that had been published last year and which had revealed way more of their mother's escapades than it was possibly good for anyone but now they had to deal with their father's infidelity as well, in all its shameful, little details. 

A quiet knock on the door startled her. "Mummy?", her little angel's little voice asked carefully and hesitant, almost afraid. "Yes, darling, come in!", Camilla replied, desperately trying to sound happy and unbothered, greeting her daughter with a heartfelt smile, invitingly opening her arms for Thea to come and cuddle up to her, which the little girl only too happily did. Camilla hugged her tightly and tenderly stroked over her beautiful blonde hair. Being five-and-a-half years old now, more and more of her character traits came to light and for Camilla it was amazing to recognise both good and bad habits from actually all three of them, herself, Charles and Andrew in her every day. There definitely seemed to be some kind of a balance between genetics and environmental aspects which helped or influenced shaping a child's personality. Thank God, she didn't resemble Charles or any of the Windsors at all; she was the spitting image of her and a typical "Shand girl", like Annabel, her daughters and Laura were as well, she had the same smile and laugh, but when she was upset about something, her whole face would darken and sometimes Camilla had a hard time pulling herself together when this beautiful and adorable little girl turned into a pouting miniature version of Charles because it was too cute and funny, just as when she started to sound like Andrew when she played with or "educated" the dogs. 

"Are you sad, Mummy?", Thea asked cautiously and cuddled up to her mother even closer. Though she really tried very hard, Camilla couldn't stop her tears from falling anymore and she knew that there was no point in lying to her any longer. They had probably lied way too often and now had to deal with the consequences. "Yes, darling. I am sad. But it has nothing to do with you, my little angel.", she assured her, forcing herself to smile and softly kissed her on the forehead. "You, sweetheart, are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I love you so much and I'm so proud of you. You are the light of my life and I thank the Lord every day that he's given you to me." Thea looked at her with wide eyes. "But then, why are you so sad, Mummy?"

No poll this time again but honestly... I was having a hard time writing this and right now I'm not sure if/what Camilla will tell Thea... :'( She's only five after all... What a heartbreakingly impossible situation :'(

#king charles #queen camilla #royal family #royal baby #fanfiction #fanfic

[mrsnakaj1ma]

umumum a lil head canon:

Gin presents herself to be a man in the port mafia to not only hide her identity, but probably because of Ryuu.

Hate to break it to you but he is a toxic masculine at the end of the day with how he hardly shows emotion apart from anger, strives to constantly get stronger for Dazai’s approval and the way he goes about it. Literally his mindset is “The weak will die. Die and make room for others.” Also with how he treats women like everyone else rather than with some care and respect, it really shows with Higuchi and Kyouka. He slapped Higuchi for making the wrong move and called her a “mongrel” and he would manipulate Kyouka while also brutally training her. However, he’s growing as a character and he hasn’t been shown to treat either of them with malice ever since.

I did not mean to make this explanation long, I just wanted to briefly go over why I think he’s one. I still love Ryuu though and he’s one of my favorite characters nonetheless. That brief explain is to also support what I’m about to kind of say.

The Akutagawa siblings are seen to be close, but they also aren’t around each other often. Ryuu was known to be an emotionless young boy growing up, scaring the children in the slums. At least in the beast au. He won’t hesitate to get violent but seeing anything other than violence was foreign to these children. Nonetheless though, he truly cared for his friends and especially Gin. We have yet to discover how he and Gin ended up in the slums but even then I refuse to believe he was actually emotionless. He was just a child, and he also knew he could protect his friends, his only family, and himself so he was more in survival if anything. To him, still having Gin alive and safe even after the ambush was a blessing to him.

But also there wasn’t any hope anymore left in him.

So after being recruited by Dazai, Ryuu and Gin get adjusted to their new home while working on rising up in the ranks. Gin was said to be small and dainty as a child and Ryuu didn’t want to lose the only family he had left so he probably told her to start disguising herself as a man and not let her gender be known, especially with how feminine she is. He doesn’t want anyone taking advantage of his little sister (especially Mori) but he’s also so deep into trying to become the strongest mafioso, that’s all he can really offer her in protection. Not saying he wouldn’t protect her though because Ryuu is a VERY caring older brother and after Dazai(which is sad honestly), Gin has his respect. An older brother will DO anything to make sure his younger sibling is safe and happy, even though he probably thinks he’s failed at keeping Gin safe.

OR

Gin herself had decided to present herself in a masculine light. Like I said earlier, Ryuu will treat everyone the same regardless of gender and status unless they’re important to him. Gin’s character stems from the irl Akutagawa’s O-Gin, which is about a young girl who chooses to go to hell with her family since they’re all she has and she wouldn’t trade them for the world. Gin wouldn’t trade Ryuu for the world. She knew while she had sharp instincts and can be slick and sneaky, she wasn’t strong enough. Entering the Port Mafia, she realizes how brutal these people and what kind of place her brother has got her into. But the siblings will stick together nonetheless as without Ryuu, Gin is smart enough to survive on her own but he’s the only family she has. Presenting herself like a man helps people take her seriously and also allows her to still live her life like a normal civilian outside of the Port Mafia.

Gin gets the peace of mind that she gets to be who she wants to be and still have her brother by her side

#bungou stray dogs #bsd #gin akutagawa #akutagawa ryuunosuke #akutagawa siblings #bsd akutagawa #bsd theories #asagiri i will give you all my savings just to have an arc on gin

[zalrb]

What are some characters that have a profound link to each other the I-don’t-know-where-you-begin-and-where-I-end, my-life-is-your-life, type link. Romantic or friendship

This is an interesting question and the reactions to my response may prove to be interesting as well but I find from what I have seen that this kind of link, this extremely intense I-don’t-know-where-you-begin-and-where-I-end-my-life-is-your-life link is done the best and with the most intensity when it comes to bromances/brothers.

Like in Bloodhounds. Their relationship isn’t just this

It’s Geon-woo giving Woo-Jin his blood

and the nurse saying that he's given as much as he can and him begging her to just keep drawing more and more so he can save him

It’s Woo-Jin willing to risk potential liver damage so Geon-woo doesn’t have to drink alcohol because it's against his principles

It’s how even though they’re very close with other people, those people can end up feeling left out when they’re around the two of them and the camera frames that third person through the two of them bickering like an old married couple to emphasize that they're not a part of what's happening even though they're all having the same conversation.

Or Merlin and Arthur. Or Dean and Sam. Or Hwi and Seon-ho

Bearing that in mind, bearing the complicated role Seon-Ho played in Yeon’s hostage situation, the fact that Hwi isn’t able to exist in a world in which Seon-Ho isn’t alive is an extraordinary testament to his affection for him

and Seon-Ho’s survival is framed as due to, in part, his ambitions and desire for vengeance but it’s also framed as surviving for Hwi because Hwi asked him to

And I find that we rarely see that level between female characters. This isn't to suggest that there isn't a sense of devotion with female characters.

Cristina and Meredith, they're soulmates, the twisted sisters,

but where Merlin and Arthur, for instance, will risk their lives to save each other, where one of them usually launches himself at danger so the other can leave but the one left behind refuses to actually go

Meredith and Cristina will have these moments with each other in relation to a love interest. Meredith isn't telling a gunman to shoot her to save Cristina it's save to Derek and Cristina isn't operating on Meredith with a gun to her head, she's operating on Derek because Meredith is begging her to. Meredith operates on Owen who gets shot trying to protect Cristina because Cristina asks her to

They love each other, they need each other, they're committed to their relationship, I believe all of that, they're one of my favourite friendship duos but that intense you-don't-understand-they-mean-everything-to-me-and-you-don't-know-what-I-will-do-for-them is not quite there.

Then you have something like Charmed and the Power of Three and they're stronger when they're together

and it's very much about the bond of sisterhood and it's meant to be relatable, like even with the demons and the monsters and the witches and the elders, they're sisters who tell each other how they feel, who borrow each other's clothes, who talk about their romantic lives, who support each other's dreams and have a club named after their bond (P3), who love each other and protect each other and will do anything for each other and you see how their bond affects them -- the grief of Prue's death causes Piper to become a fury

and it's well-executed but there isn't that level of high intensity, I will go to hell for you, I will end the world for you, I am nothing, nothing without you, who am I without you

I would literally rather die than see you replace me with someone else

because they're not supposed to be co-dependent.

From what I can recall, Boo and Fleabag are the closest to that type of intensity

and it's complicated because when her mother dies and she says she doesn't know where to put her love Boo tells her to put it all on her

so Boo is also wrapped up in Fleabag's grief about her mother and then Boo dies because of Fleabag's betrayal and the memory of Boo and Boo herself is so acute for Fleabag, particularly in season one, there's even an interpretation that when Fleabag addresses the audience, she's actually having a conversation with Boo and then there's that interview with Phoebe and her best friend and inspiration for Boo about writing that relationship and the ways in which it mirrored their own

but with the way that Fleabag portrays this, because Cristina and Meredith do the same thing, there's no sense of boundaries or division and that's what made Fleabag's betrayal so heartbreaking.

I ran out of space for gifs, if interested I can go on about other dynamics, lmao.

[ofallthingsnasty]

If I had to choose between the two I'd pick Bill Honestly he's a bastard but he's honest about his intentions, unlike evan who acts like he's nice when he's actually no less sick if not more, I feel bad for the reader and I live for the drama so how would the two of them react if she died in childbirth? After she was completely depressed because of them and literally a body without a soul, and before she died she told them that even if she lived she would not have any feelings left even to love their child and They stripped her of her life and her feelings (and other words of your addition if you have ideas) I want them to suffer a little less than they deserve

I'd pick Bill over Evan too - I think. Evan is more of my yandere 'type' but he'd do heinous things to you in the name of love... No, I think I'll pass 😂 Bill wants a huge family, though - and he's definitely a little bit of a deadbeat. But at least you get to go outside. And there won't be any broken legs, yay!

tw.death, forced pregnancy

Now, if you were to die during birth, that'd be earth-shattering for both of them, but even more so for Evan. While Bill can emerge from this again (somehow), Evan would never recover fully. They'd both mourn. I mean, their love (or obsession) comes from an extremely misguided place but they still wanted a future with you. And both of them still wouldn't see how wrong they were. They are from a different world than you, a world where humans are considerably weaker and a world where the rules of the pack go, nothing else. Couple that with their obsessive tendencies - and you turn into something to be acquired, not someone to impress or date. Even Evan with all of his grand words and tears still sort of sees you as a thing - otherwise he would have never participated in this stint. It's complicated. I honestly don't think they'd feel guilty. Your death would feel like a great injustice but they wouldn't think that they're indirectly responsible. It'd be a tragedy - think of it as one's spouse dying in a sudden car accident. It's terrible. But accidents happen, yes? Even if you were to tell them how you'd rather die than be with them, that's the blood loss talking. Or your frazzled mind - whatever it is, they'll rationalize it away.

Is this bleak? Sure. But so is your fate - dead or alive. You'll never get out and coincidence ultimately decides who you end up with. You can only try to grin and bear it.

#ask #OC: Bill #OC: Evan #tw.death #tw.pregnancy #capture kill

[bokettochild]

hi hi! i was scrolling through ur blog (i love ur art and fics so much they give me life) and came across a post where u mentioned that u have guardian/manifestation of life legend theory and wanted to ask u if u could pls tell us about it :D

Oh, sure!

So, please keep in mind that most of my exposure to LoZ is through fan-works and the mangas, and this theory is more based off of the mangas, so it's not entirely cannon.

Alright, that covered, here's the theory:

Legend is, in all his depictions in his games, attempting to preserve life. His goals are always people oriented, rather than things. All the other heroes have a particular thing to drive them:

Time is driven by loss of the Deku Tree, of Navi, of all that he knew

Twilight is driven by his need to protect the people of Ordon

Wild is driven by guilt from his failure

Wind is driven (at first anyway) by the need to protect and rescue his family

Sky needs to save the love of his life

Four is rescuing his best friend

Warriors is driven (to a point) by pride, and then after that guilt for his pride, as well as a sense of duty as he is a soldier

Hyrule and Legend are the only two who hae no reason to fight as they do. Now, Hyrule is helping people in his first adventure with no particular reason except he was asked to, but the second adventure he's actively being hunted, so there is some selfish intent in that fact that he's trying to keep himself alive.

Legend doesn't fight for himself or his own goals though. Unlike the heroes before and after, Legend already lost everything before his adventure started, because he lost his whole family in a single night, yet we don't see grief, vengeance or loss drive him. In fact, Legend's reasons for any of his quests is because he sees that people need help, and while he's maybe not the most fit person to provide it, he is the only person who can or will do anything.

Legend is a hero whose goal is to preserve and protect life as a whole, regardless of who or what it is. He feels for the monsters of the dark world, knowing they're just corrupted people, he cares for the small tasks. In some of his quests, there is absolutely no reward: helping a sick mother to comfort her child, paying bills he's never paid back for, reuniting families. He's never promised a reward for most of the things he does, and has nothing to gain from risking his life and well-being to do them, but he does them regardless.

On top of that, Legend is the hero who is closest to the heavens. Going by popular fanon, he's the descendant of Hylia, but also the Chosen of Farore, the Saviour of Nayru and the Beloved of Din, on top of being the hero who rose to aid Lolia's people when her own hero found he couldn't do it alone. Oh yeah, and the Windfish kinda got saved by him too, so there's that.

And on top of all of that, Legend has a deeper connection to living things than most of his brothers. He is literally blessed with the full powers of the Triforce, as we see in the Oracle mangas, and it grants him the ability to understand all things with a soul, be they dead or living. Legend is shown to be able to hear the voices of spirits, the Master Sword, trees and plants, and of course, animals. This is not an ability only accessible through a transformation as it is with Twilight, nor is it reliant on an item as with Four, it's just something he has.

In short, Legend is the guardian of the very goddesses themselves, as well as their domains. He's the hero called to save deities when they cannot save themselves, and considering they are the creators of life (according to Hylian Lore) that makes him the guardian of Life itself, because without the goddesses, life would not exist or be able to flourish: without Din, the seasons become confused and the natural world fails, causing humanity to die with it (as Onox points out) and without Nayru, time becomes confused and distorted, allowing changes to occur and realities to, potentially, be destroyed or split in a million different ways.

Legend protects and prevents against the above things. He preserves life as a whole. He represents the strength of each of the goddesses who he's aided, showing wisdom, courage and power all in equal parts during his adventures, as well as acting as the Light of Hyrule, their Hope, and the protector of the Sacred Power, which is, in fact, what Hylia was created to do (or so I've read).

We see this manifest in the way that everything he turns his attention and love to will flourish. the first example is that, in the ALTTP manga, we see that the apple orchard he's tended since childhood, is so well cared for that the apples within posses healing capabilities, which he actually has to employ to save his own life at one point. His ability to commune with nature and living things is also an example of this.

(I'm not even touching on the telepathy, but yeah, that's also an ability).

To conclude:

Legend's every adventure has focused on life and people, and regardless of his own wants, needs or wishes, Legend has always provided protection for that life, preserving the living world over himself at all times, no matter the cost.

#lu legend #linked universe #linkeduniverse #ketto's brain splodes #asks and answers #also if you wanna really mess around #legend is the hero of balance #hero of the era of light and dark #protector of life but granter of death #i kinda joke he's the persephone of the hylian world #child of a goddess #granted life again by the goddess of earth and following in her steps #but enters a dark world where he must serve to bring life there as well #like persephone is goddess of new life and queen of death #legend also represents similar things #lol

[anotherkindofmindpod]

I really loved your recent episode about In My Life… and Rob Sheffield: I want to buy him a drink or three, and then listen to him let rip! 😂

Having said that, I now think I must be the ONLY person on the internet who doesn’t believe that the John Lennon social media is run by the Gen Z intern who long ago took the keys away from Sean and Yoko. TBH, it boggles my mind that this could even be a concept? It’s a cute idea.. a random kid who possibly used to fetch the coffee is now running riot on the social media account of one quarter of the most profitable band in the world; but really? I don’t understand why the perception is that it’s so unlikely that the estate has anything to do with the narrative of their own social media .

Given that this is the Lennon-Ono estate and in particular Yoko, who at every turn, via every available medium, has sought for total and absolute control over their story (that’s not a criticism, more power to someone having the agency to drive the narrative of your relationship rather than let the media determine it). She has the tenacity to fight a 40 year legal battle against a man who won’t stop blabbing unsanctioned stories about John. So the very notion that she would be approached with a direction for John’s social media footprint, and was like, ‘well really, IDGAF’ is just wild.

I remember hearing (forgive me if it was AKOM who said this), that Paul has an old school Hollywood approach to his public image; maintaining a good, albeit it boundaried relationship with the press, whereas John and Yoko were early adoptees of the new school; where they work the media to enable a tighter control of their missive . So that’s why it would really surprise me if moving forward, Yoko’s handing over the reins also signals a new found passivity over the direction of the brand and an allowance for the narrative to be taken out of their hands . What happens if the Gen Z intern went HAM and nosedived the legacy? It’s not beyond the realm of probability.. Billion dollar estates can be wiped out in literally the blink of an eye - look at Michael Jackson’s for example. Sure, due to her age and health, Yoko might not have the wherewithal to be actively posting , but I would be astounded if Sean is not overseeing the content of their socials. He is media savvy and super, super smart. (I interviewed him several years ago and have never more acutely felt like I was only using 10% of brain matter especially because it seemed that was using 90% of his). I mean, this doesn’t need to be the hill I die on, but it’s a good example - in my mind at least- of a narrative in Beatledom suddenly taking an interesting and unexpected turn, which could definitely be worthy of discussion, but everyone being like, nope, nothing to see here. If they both are taking a hands off approach, then that’s a conversation in itself. Not only is it kind of sloppy, it’s just not on brand. And if the In My Life posts are a message from Sean and Yoko.. that’s is kind of a big deal - one that’s got a bit lost in the melee! What’s your take Phoebe? I couldn’t tell if you agreed with Rob or not. Is this the end of the era of total narrative control over the JohnandYoko story?

Hello PYRM! :) First off, thanks for writing and listening- glad you enjoyed the episode! TBH, I don't really have a hard opinion on this topic. I definitely have opinions on the narratives and themes pushed/sold by the Lennon Estate! But without knowing how directly involved they are with their social media, it's hard to say what's intentional versus what is haphazard. I guess I'm not really in a position to know how important or influential Dead Rock Star Twitter is?? I just checked and the JL Blue Check Twitter has 686K followers (which seems like a TON to me!); Paul has 4.2M, but he's alive and touring, so.... IDK what to make of that. I just don't know enough about marketing to have an educated opinion. On the one hand, I do think the In My Life posts from JL's Official Instagram are kind of important because, at the very least, it should mean that it's now fair to publicly speculate that In My Life was written for Paul (which could also potentially open the door to further interpretations). There's been a long-standing taboo in Beatles circles about this type of thing (as we all know, so I won't get into it here) so if this is the Lennon Estate giving its blessing... I think that's cool. On the other hand, if those posts were a single media manager's whim, and it was approved/pushed through without much oversight, it essentially means nothing. So basically I'm agnostic on this issue. -Phoebe

#AKOM #In My Life

[trawpius]

GK was a classic example of a series that is a certified 10/10 for 90% of its run, then fumbles the ending. It wasn't the worst ending, but I think Noda was trapped: either by his own imagination or by general expections of Japanese audiences

My general thoughts:

The series ends with Asirpa a) ditching the unused half of gold because it's a Wen Kamuy and b) using the land deeds to establish national parks to protect nature. Nevermind that she's warned Sugimoto against blaming Kamuy for bad events! But this serves to purpose of having Asirpa find a purpose she's satisfied with, without delving into alternative history fiction and without critizing Japan too strongly. This makes sense, but it feels tepid compared to the gradiose story and the grander goals of Asirpa's revolutionary forebearers. Literally, Wilk, Kiroranke and Sofia were socialists who assassinated the Russian head of state!

The general lionization of historical Hijikata. This one is tough, because I don't know the history of the Boshin Wars, or the general ideology of the Shinsengumi other than being pro-Shogunate. But I imagine Hijikata was more of a conservative traditionalist than how the story portrayed him. I don't think he would ally so closely with people fighting for an independent, multiethnic (socialist) state in place of Hokkaido.

Koito's everything. After such a long path becoming disillusioned by Tsurumi, he ultimated remained loyal to the 7th Division. And survived, still totally sold on the Japanese Imperial Core. Just in time for WWII! Yuck.

Sugimoto, generally. The story is broadly about him overcoming PTSD. He is haunted by how many people he's killed, and the people he couldn't protect. But the story ultimately absolves him, rather than teaching having him reconcile with being a cog of war and learning to move forward in civilian life. Instead, he continues to kill without remorse, even when no one's life is in immediate danger. And he "heals" when Asirpa, the moral compass of the series, chooses to kill Ogata. Meaning that good people can kill, or…. something?

Asirpa killing Ogata! Even if the poison eventually drove him to suicide, the intention was there. This was meant to be point of positive character development? A young girl, despite her staunch opposition to killing humans, chooses to kill in a moment of desperation after experiencing the horror of watching multiple loved ones die? That's devastating! It's awful!

On a less serious note, Shiraishi leaving Asirpa and Sugimoto at the end! And the series never properly incorporating him into their friendship as an equal.

Noda being very explicit that Asirpa has a puppy crush on Sugimoto. That itself isn't a problem, per se. And Sugimoto never reciporicates, so I'm not complaining strongly. But I wish the series really snuffed that out in the end. (Maybe by having Shiraishi be close-to-equal in their group, or have Sugimoto gently let her down, or something)

I won't pretend I have the best ideas in the world. But this is my personal vision.

Hijikata reckons with his true goal being about adventurism and a desire to relive his glory days. He no longer has "Bushido": he is not fighting with a greater purpose, he realizes its all for himself.

Ogata is under fire by Vasily during the entire final fight. Ogata pushes Asirpa into a corner, and she looks resolved to kill him. Instead, she manages to trick Ogata into a certain position where Vasil can land a kill shot. As he bleeds out, he tries to shoot Asirpa, has hallucinations about his brother, etc.,

Koito betrays Tsurumi and lands a near-fatal blow. Later on, Koito realizes that while Tsurumi was uniquely charismatic and driven, he is an ideal representation of a Japanese Imperial Soldier. Despite Central being pleased the Koito officially killed Tsurumi, and despite Koito having grown to be a good leader, he chooses to leave the army permanently.

Back to Tsurumi's death. The wound from Koito is fatal but Tsurumi is still alive for a period of time. Sugimoto rages and tries to kill him, but Asirpa tells Sugimoto that he "always has a choice not to kill". Always. Since he's already guaranteed to die, Sugimoto leaves him.

Despite Koito trying to sway him, Tsukushima stays on the train with Tsurumi's corpse and dies in the crash.

Sugimoto is woozy with blood loss by the end, and Shiraishi trapped on the train. Asirpa goes back to save Shiraishi, and tells Sugimoto to stay behind. He needs to trust her. And she couldn't stand losing both of them. (She does save Shiraishi, smile!)

Asirpa does return for the gold, to pay Sugimoto and Shiraishi. She briefly considers burying the rest due to it being a vengeful Kamuy. But Sugimoto reminds her not to blame bad events caused by people on the actions of gods.

Epilogue, Sugimoto visits Umeko. She's already got the eye surgery, but hasn't remarried. Sugimoto gives her the money anyways. There's a brief moment where they almost embrace/kiss, but they realize they've both changed too much. Sugimoto says he has other business, but will try to visit her from time to time.

Totally idealistic but it is a peaceful theory that we pretends works perfectly: Asirpa negotiates with the Japanese government to turn the land deeds into pockets of sovreign Ainu land. I.e., In these areas, they are not bound to Japanese laws and the land cannot be developed on by Japanese government or industry. (People are free to come and live there, of course, by virtue of free association.) The remaining gold is a) dispersed to Kotans as a famine protection fund, b) used to establish a broad coalition with Ainu across all of Japan, and c) used as outreach to Ainu and other ethnic groups in eastern Russian to help them gain protections.

Kirawus and Ariko are part of the coalition. Asirpa travels all over northern Japan and Karafuto doing work with the coalition. Sugimoto and Shiraishi are with her: Sugimoto joins her on hunting expeditions and helps taking records for the coalition (part of their history preservation effort). Shiraishi bums around in the nearby towns lol (Maybe Asirpa meets a boy her age who is a homebody who's really good at sewing and cooking, and totally pathetic with a bow, but is abnormally good at languages. He helps her with preserving the languages and stories of other Russian ethnic groups. Asirpa develops a crush on this kid, and they spend long nights talking about culture, and Sugimoto's like 'kids these days lol')

#gk spoilers #to my friends this is not funny haha screenshots this is me talking about spoilers at length #arbitrary code execution #using my daily alloted 1min on tumblr to post this