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#how to change language Accord
wheels-tips · 5 months
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Change Language Honda Accord Display 11th Generation (2023)
How to change the language on a Honda Accord Eleventh Generation (2023).
How to change the language on a Honda Accord Eleventh Generation (2023). In this video, I change the language displayed on the infotainment unit on a 2023 Honda Accord. This procedure works for 11th Gen. Honda Accords, allowing you to change the language on your Accord from English to Spanish or French.
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bliamapriori · 4 months
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A smart person would not be backwards engineering their way to a *proto form of language root by way of sound changes for a fanlang they intend to use for the specific purpose I am making it for, but I am neither smart nor someone with the best impulse control so the prospect of elvish > old elvish > classical elvish > ancestral elfish > elfish fey is just something I do so I have something to do with my hands, blissfully ignoring the mountain of designated compound words in the actual version of the lang I mean to use. And yet. Here I am. Daydreaming about the concept of a greater fey language family again.
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coquelicoq · 11 months
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"NO AMBROSII ALLOWED" did you. Did you pluralize Ambrosius? (I mean obviously you did, it just enchants me SO MUCH i had to tell you here 😅)
latin-second-declension-ass name. he should just be glad i left it in nominative case 🙄
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sleepdepravity · 2 years
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Not gonna lie, I was thinking of you as I wrote about that. There’s just…a lot of shit wrapped up into culture that makes it so hard for anybody to assess. Your experience is quite a 1:1 on swedengate too, I feel like, on a very small scale. And like swedengate, I don’t think you or the teachers were able to (or even would have been able to) see into the purely cultural piece. None of the American teachers, despite being American, were able to explain the pledge of allegiance in that context, and all of them couldn’t help but like…basically take it personally. Which is the common outcome of culture clashes. Common outcome for anything we feel is contradicting or opposing our identity, really.
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personasintro · 6 months
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Mutual Help | #58
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↳ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬; in order for you to pretend to be his girlfriend, he helps you with your sexual desires ⏤ he calls it mutual help
⇢ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: jungkook x reader
⇢ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: fake dating au, fluff, angst, smut, slow burn
⇢ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: explicit language, suggestive content
⇢ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 20.1k+
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⇠ 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯. | 𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐱 | 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 ⇢ 
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The first issue happens shortly after your shenanigans with Jungkook.
Everything has been dealt with regarding your planned and first official vacation. Accommodation, flight tickets, even some of the activities all of you have agreed on. While you had enough time to dwell back into your working life (Jungkook free to some extent), each day has become closer to the D-day. 
You're not going to lie. You're excited to get out of Seoul – as much as you love the city – and experience some fun memories with your friends. With them, you will have the time of your lives. However, all plans come crashing down with a single message from Jimin. 
For some reason, his previous planned holiday is canceled by his boss himself. They're low on the employees and there's nothing else that could be done. 
“Maybe there will be a last minute change but I don't think that's gonna happen. I think I should cancel my flight tickets while I can.” Is what he said through a message. 
Taehyung was the one who took it the worst. To explain it correctly, Taehyung cursed the shit out of Jimin's boss and how devilish it is of him to ruin the holiday. Holiday without Jimin sounds sad and suddenly, none of it seems as exciting as you once thought. 
Perhaps the reason behind your sulky mood is the fact that you don't like when something is not going according to plans. Or more like – you're excited about something, already imagining and having a certain vision of things when it suddenly gets ruined. Funnily enough, Jimin is the one who takes it the best. He laughed and joked about it, though he surely does feel a little upset by the sudden changes. 
Nobody wants their summer holiday to get taken away, especially when he has to be working instead. Jimin insists all of you should go regardless of his absence when the idea of trying to get another date comes to the surface. Though, that's even trickier when three people have to change their already confirmed and planned holidays. There are your co-workers who have scheduled free days too. To say it shortly – it's not easy at all and would bring more trouble than good. 
Even Jungkook who's his own boss has scheduled photoshoots and overall work. He could possibly cancel it, but that would bring no good to his name and business. Plus, he would lose money obviously. 
Jimin stays positive and prays that maybe someone from their team will come to the rescue. 
It's a little more than two weeks before your planned vacation. You're in the middle of folding your freshly washed and dried clothes while Jungkook's humming can be heard in the background. You video-chat him, giving him advice on what clothes to give away to charity. Something he has been doing for a while now. 
Taehyung would tell him to sell everything and Jimin would tell him to give away everything. You, on the contrary, can reason with him. The piece of clothing he hasn't worn for the last year is good to go, because he will probably never wear it again. It's why you help him with that instead of any of the guys. 
After that is done, you just casually chat which to be honest, you're glad for. It's not like you haven't done that in a long time, but it feels way more calm than anything you've done for the past few months. It's a nice change compared to your wild thoughts. You just can't bring yourself to dwell on it – because you're going to lose it. 
“Oh found this one just now,” Jungkook says, cutting off your thoughts which is probably for the best. 
You look at him, his phone propped on his kitchen counter and from the looks of it, you can just imagine the device leaned against his bowl of fruit. He stands with a leather jacket in his arms, showing it off so you could see it better. Little does he know, that article of clothing is not one to be forgotten. 
“What do you think?”
“You want to give it away?” you almost gasp, hands on your hips with a mouth agape.
“Why not?”
“Because it's the legendary jacket, you can't just give it away.” you protest, seeing him blink at you a few times before he bursts out into the cutest fit of laughter.
Teeth on display, nose scrunched along with the ends of his eyes, he laughs. “Legendary jacket? What are you even talking about?”
You pout, rolling your eyes at him.
“It's just a regular leather jacket. Everyone's got one of these.”
“That might be true,” you start, Jungkook's eyes wide as he teasingly nods, motioning that he's listening. “But it looks way too good. Plus, you wear it often, right?”
God, you hope he does. Now is not the time to thirst over him and how fucking good he looks in that stupid jacket, but well… that's exactly what's happening right now.
“I haven't worn it in a while, it's too hot for it.”
“See? You will wear it once it's colder. Keep it.”
Jungkook stares at the jacket for a moment, his eyes glinting and watching the screen where you're currently finishing up folding your clothes. With a tiny smirk, he places the jacket to the side and leans against the counter. His forearms rest on it, head cocking to the side.
“I can't believe Jimin is not going with us.” Jungkook admits, mouth curling into a displaying frown which you immediately mirror without even looking at him.
Sitting on the couch with your phone in your hand, you sigh disappointedly. “Don't even mention it. I'm so upset over that. Honestly, what a stupid boss.”
“It happens here a lot though.”
“I know,” you whine, “But still. It ruined our plans and I feel so bad for him. We're gonna have fun and he will have to stay here and work. It won't be a proper vacation without him there. It was supposed to be all of us.”
“Jimin wants us to have fun.” he responds with a soft tone, thinking of the stupid situation himself. 
“It's not gonna be it when he's not there.”
“It fucking sucks,” Jungkook sighs. “Maybe he'll be able to join us last minute.”
“I doubt it,” you frown, Jungkook snickering at your pessimistic self as you give him a glare, knowing exactly why he's laughing. “He would have to get his flight tickets at the last minute, plus his accommodation is already canceled. What if the place we'll stay at won't have any free space?”
“There's a couch, he could sleep there.” he shrugs.
“Nah, flight tickets would be a problem. It's vacation season.”
“Or maybe he will be glad to spend some time with his girlfriend.”
You frown, “Not wanting to pull out Taehyung but he's with her almost all the time.”
“And how would you know that?” Jungkook chuckles.
“Well, when he's not working or with us, he's obviously with her.”
Jungkook keeps grinning, not really having any argument because he knows you're right.
���You sound like Taehyung.” he teases.
“Oh fuck off!” You both laugh. “It's true though.”
“It is. Can you blame him?”
“What do you mean?”
“If I had a girlfriend I would wanna be with her too.”
You frown at that again, staring at Jungkook on your screen who seems to shrug innocently. “But Jimin was excited to go to Hawaii.”
“Yes,” he says slowly, “I'm just saying that even if he's not going, he would spend time with his girlfriend and he would enjoy it either way. So no need to be too sad for him. He himself isn't too upset with it.”
“Men,” you sigh, “You all think of pussies.”
“Y/N!” Jungkook almost chokes at your honesty.
“What? Just sayin',” you mutter, “This is important, Kook.”
He chuckles, shaking his head. “I was just trying to make you not feel so bad for him. He will be fine. He's a big boy.”
You snicker, “It's a bummer.”
“I know, but I promise you… we will have a good time. Even if it's just three of us.”
“Yeah, I know that–” you mutter, pouting. “Just will miss Jimin there.”
“Speaking of the devil, he's calling me.” Jungkook says, eyes attached to the top of his screen. “I will just call him after this.”
You cackle. 
“What?”
“Nothing, nothing.”
“Come on now,” he groans, “It's impolite to end a call just like that.”
“Just admit you love talking to me.”
He rolls his eyes, laughing as he keeps grinning at the screen. Your own mouth turning upwards as something within your chest tickles. “I do.” 
He admits and that something bursts. You freaking look away with a smile, almost too close to giggling loudly like a freaking teenager. You stop yourself, clearing your throat. 
“You should've seen your face,” he suddenly bursts out laughing. “What was that? Do I make you flustered, Y/L/N?”
“You wish, Jeon.” you spit jokingly right away, your senses acting automatically. 
He suddenly sneezes, loudly and forcingly, your head tilting to the side as he lifts up his gaze, eyes mischievous as a teasing grin makes it onto his face again. “I'm sorry, I'm allergic to your bullshit.”
You gasp loudly, “You piece of shit. I'll get you back for that, Jeon.”
“Yeah, wonder how,” he teases cheekily, “Why's Jimin still calling me? Wait hold on–”
He grabs his phone, tapping something there as you get another angle of his face.
“This angle is funny. Too bad I can't see your double-chin. This could be my payback.” you joke, Jungkook clearly too immersed in reading something to pay you his full attention.
You purse your lips. “Hello? I'm trying to be funny here.”
His eyes widen, your smile dropping.
“Kook?”
“Holy shit,”
“What?”
“Fuck, fuck,” He stands up, almost dropping his phone. “Jimin just texted me–Taehyung is in the hospital.”
“What?!” You yell, standing up abruptly as you clutch the phone in your hands. “Jungkook, talk to me! What happened?”
“I literally don't know!” he exclaims. “Jimin just got the call and tried to reach us.”
“Us? He didn't call me!” you panic, checking your notifications to see them empty. Fuck. You would not forgive yourself if you somehow ignored his messages, even though it wouldn't be entirely your fault.
“Fuck, we need to get there. He's going there right now.”
“Is it serious?” you ask, voice shaking at the thought of Taehyung and something happening to him. He's in a hospital which means it's something serious. 
Jungkook stops pacing, hearing the shakiness in your voice. Bringing the phone closer to his face, he watches you. “I'll come get you, alright?”
You nibble on your nails, nodding still staring ahead of you. 
“Y/N,” Jungkook calls out to you. “He's gonna be okay, alright?”
“You don't know that.” you scoff.
“We don't know any details, so let's not jump into conclusions, okay? Just wait there, alright? I will drive to your place right now.”
“Where would I go?” you exclaim, clearly stressed which Jungkook doesn't blame you for. Instead of calling you out for your attitude, he knows you're worried and stressed.
“Just don't drive anywhere.”
“I won't.” you promise, voice softening. 
“I will call you once I'm there. Don't go outside, it's too late.”
“Jungkook, stop worrying so much.” 
He groans, grabbing his keys as the screen keeps glitching here and there how quickly he's moving. “It's too late. Wait inside.” 
“Okay, sir.” you mutter dryly, Jungkook stopping just to glare at you. 
“Stop messing around. I am not.”
“Jesus, sorry.” 
He rolls his eyes. “Keep your pretty ass in your home. I'll call you when I get there.”
“Then get your pretty ass here, Jeon.” you roll your eyes to give back at him.
He sighs, closing his front door with a loud thud. The connection glitches for a second, his internet changing to his mobile data as he waits for the elevator. “Fuck it.” You hear him muttering, running for the stairs.
You keep pacing in your living room, biting off your nails while not having Taehyung beside you to scold you for doing so. Your heart clenches and worry overcomes you once again. It's Jungkook's car door closing that brings your attention back, watching him put his phone into the phone holder. 
“Kook?” 
“Hm?” he says, putting on his seatbelt as he turns on the engine. 
“Drive safely, okay?”
“I will,” he promises, but you keep giving him the same desperate look. “I promise.”
You smile nervously, ending the call just to be met with a spam of messages from Jimin. 
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Jungkook comes shortly after, just enough for you to check all the lights and gas before you leave. He definitely drove over the speed limit but you don't dare to scold him once he calls you. You spot the familiar Mercedes slowing down the parking lot just as your phone rings. Just like he wanted, you stayed inside. Knowing there's a low chance of something happening to you – considering this neighborhood is pretty much safe and you've walked when it was way later than now  – you also know he cares about your safety, so you didn't feel like disobeying his direct orders. Or more like a plea that would end up in a frustrating scolding if you didn't listen to him. 
Once you get inside the car, you buckle your seatbelt and Jungkook speeds out of the parking lot, rushing to the hospital where Jimin texted him details.
“Jimin is there.”
“What happened? Did he tell you?”
Jungkook shakes his head, checking on you for a split second before his eyes are back on the road. “No, he's still waiting.”
Luckily, the hospital where Taehyung's at is not that far away and it takes you approximately around fifteen minutes to get there, with all the red lights you had to stop at.
You've never had to go to a hospital here because something happened to one of your friends. To go through this and watch how Jungkook says Taehyung's name at the reception, trying to get any information doesn't sit with you well. You're full of nerves, sticking to Jungkook's side as he handles everything by himself. The nurse questions your relation to Taehyung but luckily, has no problem giving you directions of where to find your friend. 
“Couldn't she tell us if he's alive?” you grumble beside Jungkook as he tries to follow her directions from before. 
Jungkook chuckles, “If he wasn't, she wouldn't just tell us where to find him.”
Sighing, you follow Jungkook the entire time. “Have you been here before?” you question him in the elevator, a suspicious, curious look glinting in your eyes where worry was found before. 
Jungkook gives you a side-glance, sighing before looking ahead. “I have.”
When he doesn't elaborate and is silent, you lean yourself forward to catch his eyes. “When?”
He straightens his posture.
“It's just because you kinda know your way around here.”
You don't remember him mentioning being hospitalized here, nor coming here for examinations. There's a chance you simply don't know about that. There might be things you haven't told each other, it's practically impossible knowing everything about each other. But you feel if it came to this topic, you would know about it. 
But you don't. 
“I was here with Kiko.”
You halt, a taken back expression taking over your face.
“And because of Kiko.” He adds, clearing his throat at the mention of his ex. Almost as if you would bite off his head just for mentioning her name. 
You chuckle at that. “Oh, I didn't know that.”
“Yeah, didn't think of mentioning it before.” he mutters.
“Was she hospitalized here?”
“Do you really wanna know or you're just nosy?” he teases, wiggling his brow at you as you roll your eyes.
“Just answer, Jeon.”
“My curious delicate flower,” he continues to tease, ruffling your hair in the process as you elbow him in the ribs. “She had something with her shoulder once, she went here for rehabilitation.”
“Oh,” you let out slowly. “Was she fine after that?”
Feeling a burn of someone's gaze, you see Jungkook side-eyeing you. “Don't pretend like you care.” he chuckles, shaking his head at you as you smack your lips at him in annoyance.
“I wanna know! Stop making it seem like I'm a heartless monster!” 
“I wouldn't dare.” he jokes, continuing to shake his head as you sigh in irritation at your very annoying friend. 
“I advise you that.”
He snickers, “Damn, so scary.”
“Jungkook, seriously. I'm gonna kick you in the balls if you're gonna continue this.” you warn him, hearing him laugh as he leans against the elevator's wall. 
You glance at him, annoyed expression as his brow cockily lifts up. 
“Not the balls, damn, you monster.”
“Keep talking and you'll see the real monster.” you mutter, your bickering interrupted by the elevator's ring, informing you of your floor. 
Walking out of there, all the fun disappears as soon as you see and smell the sterile surroundings again, along with sick patients of all sorts which truly breaks your heart. You understand why someone hates hospitals so much. You never truly belong to that people, never really had that awful experience. Everyone you lost in the family had left at their peaceful homes. You never had to say goodbye to anyone here. 
Although, you do remember visiting your father's mother – your dear grandmother  – when you were a kid. Unfortunately, she passed away when you were around six. The only thing that bothers you to this day is that you don't have many memories with her. Since you were a little kid, you only remember very little. Plus, there are days when you wished she was still here. To talk about the craziness you've experienced in both families. To help her and show her your gratitude for raising your dad and his four siblings, when she was all alone. She was truly an inspiration for you. 
Your dad says you get a lot from her. You'll never forget a conversation you had with him about her. 
“You remind me of her sometimes. She had a good heart like you have.”
That's what he told you when you were around eighteen. Your dad is not a sentimental person. He doesn't usually say many heart-warming things, so to hear him saying that just made you emotional. Thinking of it now, it still does in a way.
“Sorry, we are here looking for our friend? They told us at the reception he's on this floor. Kim Taehyung?” Jungkook stops one of the nurses, surprisingly stopping a male who kindly shows you the way to see your friend. 
Jungkook looks behind, making sure you're there as he gives you an encouraging smile. You wonder if he's scared as fuck of what you're about to see as well. Is he pretending to be brave and having his shit together because of you? Are you preaching? 
Jungkook is the most caring friend. You don't believe he's not worried as much as you are. 
“Ready?” he asks, tilting his head toward the direction the nurse sent you. 
Naturally, like your body calls for his proximity and safety, you wrap your arms around his forearm, clutching to his side as you give him a nod. He leads you to one of the rooms, both of you cautiously peeking inside as the scene in front of you makes you both gasp loudly, catching everyone's attention in the room. 
There he is. 
If someone told you you will see Kim Taehyung laying in a hospital bed, you would laugh him off for some reason. All of you would. So to not only see him lying there but having a huge cast on his leg, his face pale and hair unkempt, you and Jungkook gulp at the sight. 
Jimin stands there, arms crossed over his chest as his hands rub his lips nervously. A woman stands next to him, a little behind him, noticing your and Jungkook's presence immediately. 
That has to be her.
But before any of you can pay her attention, Taehyung steals it without even knowing as he groans. 
“What the hell happened?” You almost shriek as a panicked mother, tearing yourself off Jungkook's side as you rush to Taehyung's side, Jungkook following you right after.
Both of you having a concerned look, Taehyung takes a minute to recognize you. You make a grimace, you and Jungkook giving Jimin a stare as he goes to say something, but he's interrupted by the patient himself. 
“You guys are here?” He looks shocked, making sure it's really you as he squints his eyes at you both.
“Of course we are–what happened, Tae?”
“Ah, don't even ask! That shit is so fucking embarrassing!” he dramatically sighs, slapping his palm over his forehead as he disappointedly shakes his head at himself.
“Can he just tells us what the fuck happened to him?” Jungkook mutters under his breath, causing you to elbow him like before.
Jimin clears his throat, “He was at the gym and accidentally dropped one of the dumbbells on his feet.”
“Jimin-ah!”
“Man they asked!” Jimin exclaims, trying to keep calm. 
“You guys came here because of me?” Taehyung pouts, changing the topic as you and Jungkook stare at him completely dumbfounded. What is wrong with him?
“Of course we did,” you assure him. “We would be here sooner, but Jimin had to call us. Why didn't you call us too?” you frown.
“Actually, the nurse called me. Taehyung gave them my number.”
“Well, that's great.” you mutter.
“Well, I'm sorry!” Taehyung mocks you, slapping his arms against the fluffy duvet he has thrown over one side of his body. “How could I know if you guys are not fucking somewhere behind our backs?”
“We don't do that!” Jungkook reacts.
The room is filled with craziness. 
Jimin sighs, deadpanning at his friend. You and Jungkook loudly gasp, your hand over your fast beating heart. 
The room is silent after that, Jimin's eyes directed somewhere behind you and Jungkook. You both turn around to see a nurse coming in, an awkward smile attached on her lips as she holds the clipboard with her. 
“We had to give him some painkillers, he was close to crushing his toes. He's a little drugged by now.” she informs you, perhaps trying to make you less embarrassed because of your friend. 
“I will come back and fill you with more information.” She sets up the clipboard on his bed, everyone bowing to her as she reciprocates it before walking away. 
“Ignore him, he's drugged.” Jimin apologizes to the female beside him, her eyes eyeing you and Jungkook as you shift on your spot. 
“Yeah, he's just babbling nonsense.” 
Taehyung scoffs, luckily keeping his mouth shut about this topic. “Yeah, by the way guys, Jimin brought his girlfriend. They were on a date when his friend was dying.”
“You weren't dying, Taehyung.” Jimin corrects him, giving him a stern look as the younger friend puts his lips into a thin line, frowning. “Ah, guys. This is Rin. Wanted to introduce you to her under different circumstances but well, babe–” 
Taehyung gags in the distance. “Knowing you, you would've kept her secret for another year.”
“This is Y/N and Jungkook. My friends.” Jimin grits through his teeth, giving a forced smile to his blonde girl. 
“It's nice to meet you. Jimin talked about you a lot.”
“Really? Because he really didn't–”
You kick Taehyung's mattress, ignoring his nasty glare as you both bow at each other. 
“Nice meeting you too, Rin. Welcome to the craziness.” Jungkook chuckles, “Jimin is a great guy. Hope this didn't traumatize you.”
She giggles, Jimin laughing nervously while you watch Taehyung who sulks in his spot. “No. It didn't.” she assures Jimin as she cuddles up to him. 
“Tae, how are you feeling?” you ask, focusing your attention on your sulking friend. 
You sit on the edge of his bed, brushing a few strands off his hair.
“Embarassed and like a fucking idiot,” he mutters. “I got so much attention at the gym. Fuck, I am used to attention but not that kind.”
“The most important thing is that you are okay, Taehyung.” Jungkook butts in, trying to sound gentle as he eyes his friend's new cast. 
Taehyung scoffs, “Does this seem fine to you?”
“I meant it that you're alive. You'll have this cast for a few months but you will be fine. You're lucky nothing worse happened to you.” Jungkook explains. 
“Fuck, I feel high,” he sighs, dropping his head on the pillow as he stares at the ceiling. He gulps, whining. “What about Hawaii? Fucking hell. I can't go.”
The realization hits all of you, yours and Jungkook's eyes meeting as you pout. 
“We can go next year.” Jungkook tries but you know it will only do so little. 
“We will cancel it too. There's no point in going when both of you don't go.” you tell him, Taehyung frowning as Jimin gives you an empathic smile. 
“No, you guys have to go.” Taehyung says, your eyes lifting up in surprise. But before you can say something, mouth already opening, he continues. “Everything's paid for. Jimin barely got the money back for flight tickets, I don't think I will get mine. It's too close to date.”
“Tae is right,” Jimin agrees, “You can still enjoy it without us.”
“I would hate myself if you didn't go there because of my clumsiness,” Taehyung admits, frowning. “Y/N you were so excited to see Hawaii.”
You stare, pouting as your eyes get teary for some reason. The entire situation is shitty as fuck and Taehyung's pale face is not helping. 
“You have to go.”
“I'm sure accommodation can be arranged just for the two of you. It's worth a shot.” Jimin says.
“We could try but I don't know…” Jungkook groans, sighing in disappointment at the fucked up situation. “We'll talk about it later. You're more important now, Tae. What can we do for you?” 
You nod, listening to Taehyung who sighs, cracking his neck. “I would die for McDonald's right now.”
Snorting, you shake your head at your friend. 
“You shouldn't eat right now, Tae. You have a good amount of meds inside you. It would probably make you sick.” Jimin reminds him. 
“We should just wait for the nurse to give us more information. Then we can figure it out from there.” you say, Jimin and Jungkook nodding in agreement. 
“This fucking sucks.” 
You make yourself comfortable on Taehyung's current bed, humming. “Tell me something about it.”
A few minutes later, a male in his mid-thirties (you're guessing) comes in. Wearing a white coat, you almost forgot how handsome some doctors can look, he eyes everyone in the room – mostly surprised to see so many people but then none of you are family members. He does question it but doesn't send you away. 
“...fortunately, Mr. Kim, your accident hasn't permanently damaged any of your nerves or bones. You'll have to wear a cast for a couple of weeks until it's healed, and after that you will need to be careful. But we'll take it from there and discuss further recovery steps.”
Taehyung looks like he's five seconds from dozing off or as if he could care less, you're trying to hold back your laugh while Jimin and Jungkook are the responsible ones. They keep nodding and looking seriously at the doctor using terms you've never heard before. You're sure none of them have and the fact they act like they do makes you want to laugh. Rin stays behind, sitting on the chair next to a window. You get a feeling she might feel not unwelcomed, but definitely out of her comfort zone. 
She sees four friends sticking together, three of them that she hasn't seen before. Honestly, it's not weird to see a woman next to Jimin. It is weird to see the affection they have going on, even though so far it has been pretty low-key. 
As the doctor finishes and informs Taehyung he's able to go home after they run some tests on him, he gives you a shortly lasting look. You smile, looking away in shyness as you're met with Jungkook's side-eyed frown. He has done that a lot today, you think.
You just innocently shrug, both of your attentions turned to Taehyung who starts to complain all over again. 
“You guys should go. You were on a date, right? Me and Kook will take care of him.” you tell Jimin, feeling bad not because they had to cut off their date, but you feel bad toward Rin. 
She probably wants to be with her boyfriend, it has probably been too many events for her tonight. You could sympathize with her and imagine what it feels like for her. Besides, there are three of you here. There's no need for all of you to be here. Taehyung will be fine. 
Someone just has to wait with him for more tests and results, so he's really safe to go home. Plus, he needs to be driven home as his ride here was an ambulance – something he's still complaining about how awkward it was when it arrived in front of the gym. 
“Yeah, go. They will take care of me.” Taehyung mutters like the child he can be, met with yet another glare from you. 
Jungkook tries not to laugh while Jimin frowns. “No. We could wait here and drive him to my place.” Jimin argues, turning to Rin. “You don't mind, right?”
“Fucking hell,” Taehyung whispers under his breath. “Why are you asking her? Just go and have your date.” He rolls his eyes at Jimin who clenches his jaw.
“I don't mind.” Rin tells him silently, assuring him.
“Somebody's gonna have to take care of your ass, Taehyung-ah. You can't be alone at home right now.”
“I'm not a child.”
“Sometimes you act like it.”
“Okay,” you butt in, standing up. “It's too late to be arguing in a freaking hospital. So get it together, both of you–” You're met with a glare from both of them. “Jimin wants to be here for you, so don't be childish Taehyung. They can have a date another time.”
“What she means to say is–” Jungkook starts, standing behind you. “We're all willing to stay here and help.”
Jimin and Rin have a silent conversation as Taehyung purses his lips and closes his eyes, ignoring his surroundings. Deep down, you know he wants Jimin to be here for him. He's just childish because Jimin is dating now and even though Rin doesn't seem to be a bad girl, it's different now. Suddenly, there's another person in his life and in their friendship as well. It awfully reminds you of the situation you had with Jungkook. 
It's still slightly different but similar in many ways. You know how Taehyung feels. The difference is that Taehyung also knows shit about relationships. He can't understand why Jimin, the guy who used to fuck purely for fun and enjoyment, is now dating someone. 
“Guys, could you drop off Rin at her house? She lives nearby, so it's not too far away.”
“Yeah, sure. No problem.” Jungkook responds. 
“Come on, it's late. We should all go to sleep. They can handle it from there,” you say, motioning for Rin to join you. “Don't worry, we're friendly and don't bite.” 
She laughs, some of her nervosity dropping.
“Yeah, they're too into each other to care about anyone else.” Taehyung comments.
“Y'know what Taehyung? If you don't want your other leg in a cast, you better shut up.” you warn him, feeling Jungkook's hand on your lower back as he shakes his head, silently telling you it's not worth it as an amused smile plays on his lips. 
“Which one?” Taehyung asks cheekily, having the time of his life when he watches your realization into disgust.
“Jesus, man. You should sleep it off.”
“That's not gonna help. This is Taehyung we're talking about.” you murmur to Jungkook.
Taehyung is about to say another nonsense, stopped by Jimin's palm as he gives him a warning stare before he walks up to you and Jungkook.
“Guys, please do not interrogate her. Okay?” Jimin pleas, sounding nervous as you and Jungkook share a knowing look. “No, please. Don't look at each other like that.” 
Little does he know it wasn't because of what he thinks it is, that you will go against his wishes, but it's the cuteness of how he doesn't want to ruin anything between them. You've never had a chance to see him like this. 
“Don't worry, we're gonna be on our best behavior.” Jungkook jokes, causing Jimin to whine but there's no time to have such a silly conversation. 
Jimin turns to Rin, telling her something before they share a kiss. You're ready to squeal at the cuteness as Jungkook tries not to laugh at you, cheekily poking you in your side while Taehyung looks grumpy.
“I'll text you and see you tomorrow, okay?” You hear Jimin say just as you bid goodbye to Taehyung, who's already too sleepy. 
Jungkook pats the top of his head before you leave Jimin with him and part your ways. But not before you hear Jimin's silent scolding. “You see? This is exactly why I didn't want to–”
You and Jungkook try not to laugh on your way out of the room, sharing a look in the hallway as Rin silently follows you, probably wondering who the hell has she just met. 
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“She's quiet.”
You break a silence by stating something both of you are thinking. Rin is not exactly communicative, kept it very casual and both, you and Jungkook, could get the hint of her not wanting to really talk. 
“She might've felt bad because of Taehyung.” Jungkook responds, a thoughtful frown making it on his face as he drives you through familiar streets that lead toward your home. 
During the slightly awkward drive to Rin's place, Jungkook tried to excuse Taehyung's behavior, thinking it's the main reason for Rin's distant behavior. It's not like she wasn't friendly or has done something out of place. She was just… quiet. She kept it simple, not engaging in any further topics. And regarding Taehyung, she just said it's okay and that was it. 
It was certainly none of you have expected. You tried to make the atmosphere lighter, forcing chuckles and grins for her own sake but she just didn't seem to care. You're not going to lie, that stung a little and you had to grit your teeth to prevent yourself from really asking her – What's up?
But then you realize, you have no idea how she's feeling. She met all three of you in the span of one hour and with Taehyung's insanity and even bolder mouth than ever, it has been a lot for her probably. 
It's not like the three of you are too much to handle, right? 
“You think so?”
Jungkook chuckles at your question, “Tae took it too far. Anyone would've felt uncomfortable.”
“Come on, he's on drugs–” you scoff out a chuckle as if that excuses him. “He wasn't fully himself.”
“He was pretty much Taehyung, what are you sayin'?” Jungkook laughs.
You smack your lips together, a laugh escaping past them as you gently nudge his arm. “You know what I mean–he would've behaved slightly differently if he wasn't in that state.”
“Hm, that could be true,” he mutters, driving with one hand as the other rubs his lips thoughtfully. “Maybe she's just shy, would explain a lot.”
“Maybe,” you hum, “Can you believe it though? Our Jimin has a girlfriend. Who would've thought?”
“Not me,” Jungkook jokes, quoting one of the famous sounds on TikTok which causes both of you to break into laughter. “I hope she's not terrified of us–or Tae.”
“There's nothing to be terrified of when it comes to us!” you exclaim, giggling when you see Jungkook's grimace of pursed lips and raised brows. “I don't know. I thought it would go differently when we would finally meet her. Not like this.”
“None of us expected it,” Jungkook says, “But it doesn't matter. All that matters is that Taehyung is okay.”
“Oh god, he's gonna be such a drama queen once they release him. A cast on his leg?”
Jungkook laughs, knowing exactly what you mean when it comes to Taehyung. “He's gotta get used to it. At least for a while.”
While a short silence follows, one thought is rooted inside your mind which causes you to nibble on your lips. “Kook,”
“Hm?”
“This means we're going alone to Hawaii?”
Jungkook sighs, thinking through his answer as you watch the side of his face and how street's signs and lights illuminate his features. “If you want to.”
He stops at the red light, a few cars stopping behind you as you stare out of the window to avoid his stare once he glances at you. You see him in the reflection. His eyes momentarily watch your form, perhaps trying to decipher what you're thinking before he looks back ahead, staring at the road instead. 
“This is not how it was meant to be.” you mutter.
For some odd reason, you feel bad for even saying it. It almost sounds like you don't want to go with Jungkook. It's not that at all. Sure, the thought scares the fuck out of you – but Jimin and Taehyung were supposed to be there. All four of you. Making new memories and doing something new, something precious for your just as precious friendship. 
“We don't have to go. We could try next year.”
“No,” you shake your head, “Everything's paid for. It was already trouble enough to deal with Jimin's reservations and now it's the same with Taehyung.”
“Listen,” Jungkook sighs, the engine roaring back to life as the red light changes to orange. By the time it's green, Jungkook puts the car into drive and speeds through the main road. “I know it's not ideal, but I don't want you to go if you don't feel like it.”
“It's not ideal but–” you stop yourself, groaning at your stupid way of explaining your feelings. “I made it sound as if I didn't wanna go with you…” you trail off, somehow starting to feel nervous which is stupid. 
Jungkook stays silent. You're not sure if it's because he wants to listen to you or because he silently agrees. You did make it sound like that. 
“I just–would it be wise?”
“Wise?” Jungkook frowns.
“Well–just the two of us.”
Jungkook stares ahead before he throws you a quick glance. It takes approximately five seconds for him to release a chuckle as he shakes his head while you're the one who stares in confusion now. 
“So that's what you're nervous about?”
You roll your eyes, not being able to say anything. It's partly why you're so unsure about this. The last time you and Jungkook stayed alone… things happened. And while you would like to believe you're strong willed, there's a part of you that fears the exact opposite. 
It's insane how Jungkook gets it without you actually having to say anything.
“What? You can't keep it in your pants, Y/L/N?”
It's the cocky tone that makes your mouth drop open, but that single sentence is enough to make you stutter and you literally fight to get proper words out. “You're the one bringing that up!”
But Jungkook laughs, completely ignoring your evident attempt of trying to argue with his statement. 
“I didn't even think about that.”
“Mhm, mhm.”
He bursts out laughing, ignoring the way you glaring at his side with a huffy face. “What else did you mean then?”
“None of your business, Jeon.” you mutter, arms crossed over your chest as you fight back a smile when you hear his bubbly laugh next to you. 
“Oh, we're back to Jeon?”
“You're the first one that started with surnames,” you point out, giving him a playful roll of your eyes before you sigh and relax in the seat. “I just meant… maybe it's stupid but–we all know how it ended the last time. This is a vacation, Jungkook. We're gonna be miles and miles away. It sounds–”
“Couple-y?” He finishes your thought. He shakes his head with a gentle smile. “It sounds like fun to me. I'm still me, Y/N.” It's the way his last sentence sounds so gentle and vulnerable that it makes you feel like an idiot for even bringing it up. 
He's still the same Jungkook you've known for years. With or without intimacy.
You just had to talk about Hawaii one way or another. 
“Yeah–I know it sounds like that but I don't overthink it that much. I just meant–fuck, I guess it's a big change from our plans and just us going is…”
“You're scared.” he says, pointing out the obvious that makes you dryly swallow. 
You mentally groan and slap yourself. “How am I supposed to enjoy it when you will be right there?”
“Ouch.”
“No, not like that!” you correct yourself, groaning loudly this time. “You'll be a distraction.”
Jungkook laughs at that, “Distraction?”
“Yes!” you exclaim, growing frustrated but mainly from yourself and the fact you're talking about this. It makes you slightly embarrassed but at the same time it's a relief that you can talk about this so openly with him. “With Jimin and Taehyung there–”
“I can keep it in my pants,” he informs you of something you've heard many times before. “The question is–”
You inhale shakily.
“Can you?”
You stare ahead, eyes wide and mouth agape, tongue softly grazing your teeth.
Well–fuck.
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“Listen, just let me know how you decided.”
Jungkook says with a window opened as you stand next to the driver's side, shifting on your spot nervously. You haven't talked much after that. There was not much time since Jungkook drove here in five minutes. 
“I'm stupid for saying shit like that.”
Jungkook frowns, “Hey, you're not stupid. You're unsure and feel bad for the guys.”
It's not even about the temptation and the stupid break you came up with. It's the entire change of plans you've mentioned to him as well. You made it sound as if it was all about the two of you, but the truth is it feels bad to go there without Taehyung and Jimin. 
And that's exactly what you tell Jungkook as you confess your once said thoughts. This time you're more serious. 
“You heard them. They want us to go either way. Even when we don't think about the money and how's everything already paid for–you were excited to go there,”
He slides his hand off the steering wheel and places it on his lap instead. 
“We're going there to enjoy our vacation. It might not be as we planned it, but we could still have fun. And deep down, I know you really wanna go there.”
“I do,” you admit after a while. When you think about it, this is your opportunity to go. Although, going there alone with him makes you awfully nervous. It's like a huge test for the two of you, one you're not ready for. “You know the last time when we were alone–”
“Mhm,” he says, prompting you to continue.
“I don't wanna make it seem as if that's all I'm thinking about, or that's how I see you but I guess–”
God why is it so hard to put any words out?
“I know,” Jungkook says gently, seeing you struggling a little to properly explain the crazy train of your thoughts. “You wanted us to focus on our friendship. I know, Y/N.”
He's so gentle that you almost want to cry out and have him hug you. You're in a desperate need of a hug. But it's too late and you both had a long day. 
“You sure you don't wanna go upstairs?” 
Jungkook smirks and you groan. “Not like that, Jeon.”
“I feel like I'm gonna pass out the second I take a shower and lay in my bed,” he jokes instead, “You should go inside, it's getting colder.”
You bite the inside of your cheek as you stare at your surroundings. “I wanna go, Kook.”
Jungkook turns his head to look at you, immediately realizing what you're talking about. He doesn't say it but the question in his eyes is clear. You sure?
“Yeah, I made a big deal out of it,” You sigh. “But I really wanna go with you. It would be stupid for us not to go.”
“Okay, then. I'll have to make some calls because of Taehyung, hopefully he will be able to get his money back. At least for the accommodation. If you change your mind, just let me know.”
“I won't,” you assure him with a smile, “And Kook?”
“Yes?”
“It's stupid but… I don't think I've ever felt nervous about you before. The last time was when we first met. Or the first time we started hanging out.”
“I made you nervous?” He laughs.
“Mostly everyone makes me nervous when I first meet them,” you scowl at him as you explain. “We barely hung out after we–took a break or whatever we wanna call it.”
Jungkook snorts at the way you roll your eyes when you say it. 
“I make you nervous. I don't know how to deal with this information.”
“Jeon,” you grit through your teeth, “It's not you. It's more… the situation and all.”
He grins, biting his lower lip before he releases it and stares at the distant street lights. “There's no need to be nervous. No kissing. No sex. We're on a sex ban. Just two best friends in Hawaii.”
You groan his name and at the way he says it with an utmost grin. This man is not serious. 
“That's not what I truly meant but–you know what? Nevermind. Let's just end it here.”
Jungkook doesn't press any further, simply opting for a gentle grin and change of topic. “Goodnight, Y/N.”
You catch yourself wishing he would say something else instead of your name.
And that's your cue to turn around before silently wishing him a goodnight, telling him to drive safe and send you a message once he's home. Perhaps it's for the better that he stayed in his car. 
He waits until you're inside of the building before he drives out of the parking lot, his silver car slowly fading out until it fully disappears. What doesn't disappear are the mixed and crazed feelings that make you question every single thing that has been said. 
One thing you know for sure.
This vacation will be one hell of a ride. 
One, you can't prepare yourself for. One, you're close to shitting your pants for.
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Rolling your suitcase down the sidewalk, Jungkook offers to take it but you decline. He has his own suitcase and full hands, therefore all he receives is just an appreciative smile as you enter the airport. 
Namjoon was kind enough to take you and since your flight is early in the morning, he had the time to drive you here.
Sorting out your luggage and going through the security doesn't take too long and before you know it, you're seated in the airplane fighting for a window seat with Jungkook. He lets you have it, of course and slumps into the seat next to you. With a happy and slightly annoying smile, you make sure he sees it as he playfully rolls his eyes.
Since there are still passengers sitting and putting away their luggage, you do have a little time before taking off. You take that time to quickly video chat with Jimin and Taehyung. While Jimin's preparing for his work, Taehyung curses you out for waking him up. Though, there's a tiny smile that tells you that it's okay to go without them and enjoy it to the fullest. 
You share your earphones with Jungkook, so he can hear them too. 
“You guys–” Taehyung sighs, eyes slightly swollen with tiredness. “This sucks but enjoy it, alright? And send me pictures.”
“We will.”
“Yeah, Kook took his camera with him.”
“You and your camera,” Taehyung jokingly shakes his head. “I could've had such nice pictures.”
“You have… lots of them actually,” Jungkook snickers, “We will take some next time.”
“Be safe guys, I gotta run to work but text us when you land.” Jimin says, his screen blurry as he keeps moving.
“Will do.” you assure them. “I'm sorry you guys couldn't come.”
“Stop,” Taehyung cuts you off, giving you a grin that feels oddly comforting. “Have the biggest fucking fun. I'm stuck in bed, so maybe I will annoy you with my phone calls.”
“Great.” Jungkook mutters, causing you to nudge him as the four of you laugh.
“We're about to take off. I will call you, Tae. Don't worry.”
“I am not. What I worry about though, is the amount of times I could've gotten laid. Now I'm stuck here with this fucking cast on.”
“Dude, chill out.” Jimin laughs. 
So do you and Jungkook. Shortly after you all end the call, you and Jungkook snickering between each other at Taehyung's biggest issue. 
While the pilot welcomes everyone on board and informs them of the destination and other important information, you make yourself comfortable in your seat as you place your head on Jungkook's shoulder. 
Jungkook looks down at you, smiling as you catch his glance. “Ready?”
“Is there anything left for me other than to be ready?”
“Well, you could chicken out. The plane is not in the air yet.”
You smack his side, sitting up straight as you're met with the familiar sight of his stretched smile and white pearls. “Dumbass.”
“Love you too.”
You look away, making sure he sees the roll of your eyes before doing so. Though a small smile plays on your lips and as you take off, plane soon in the clouds, you use Jungkook as the softest and best smelling pillow.
The adrenaline and excitement of what's awaiting for you does not allow you to sleep. Yet you don't move an inch, finding comfort in the man sitting beside you. And when you ask him to play with your hair, he does it without any questions. 
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“Oh my god.” 
Is the first thing you let out as soon as you get out of the airport and see the beauty around you. The weather is not too hot for you to not have any sunglasses or hat on. You shield your eyes with a palm outstretched above them, stopping in the tracks as Jungkook tries to get a taxi. 
“Beautiful, isn't it?” Jungkook says once he locks his phone and puts it into the pocket of his shorts. “The place we are staying at is even more beautiful.”
Jungkook has managed to make a compromise with the owner of the place you're staying at during the next seven days. Since it would be for the best if Jimin and Taehyung got their money back, they made a deal on swapping apartments. This way the owner could still make a profit while complying with you.
That alone made you a little bit calm because so far, everything is going well and smoothly. 
“Our car should be here in five.” Jungkook informs you and ushers you to go in a shadow.
You obey, feeling already as if you're melting.
“What's our plan for today?”
You haven't really slept during the flight. Jungkook has booked a business class, something you've scolded him for because that's definitely something you haven't paid for when you sent him the money for your flight ticket. There was no need for that eight hour flight, but you both definitely made a good use of it. You turned on a movie and made yourself comfortable while eating snacks. Who knew having a drink on a plane can be actually so relaxing and fun at the same time?
You sit on your suitcase, squinting your eyes at Jungkook who pulls a cap from his suitcase and puts it on your head. 
“We're gonna settle in and maybe we could check the outside?”
“Sounds good.” 
The car comes around the time Jungkook said it would, an older man with a straw hat on welcomes you and helps you with your things. You both thank him and get inside – luckily – with an air condition on.
While he drives and gives you a quick tour of the road you're driving on, he answers any curious and informative questions Jungkook asks him. You sit silently, smiling at the man whenever he jokes around as you stare out of the window, appreciating the nature around you. 
And at that moment you think;
It's a good thing you decided to go.
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You've seen the photos of where you were supposed to be staying. All four of you. But since that has changed and the two of you couldn't go, there had to be some changes made. Jungkook informed you about that, so that's no news to you. It would be no use for you and him to share a place designed for four and more people. 
Surrounded by nature and sea air, there's a whole street of houses. It's so close to the sea that you can hear the waves in the distance and smell the salted water. Surely, the location and vacation houses are one of the wealthiest ones, and you just can't seem to pry your eyes at what's around you. 
You let Jungkook handle everything, after you've grabbed your luggage and bid goodbye to the driver. He talks to the owner, or the person who is in charge of the vacation house you'll be staying at. Shortly after, Jungkook is given keys and after waving off one last person, you finally get out of the sun and get inside. 
The first thing you notice is the chilly air hitting your heated bodies, the two of you sighing in delight before you both laugh. 
“AC is gonna be our best friend here.” you comment, squinting your eyes as they adjust to the lack of sun.
“Just don't overboost it, yeah? Or else you're gonna end up sick.”
You turn to Jungkook with raised brows, who simply just shrugs as he sets the luggage down. 
“Says the person who always has his AC turned on in the car.” you point out the obvious fact you both know.
“My immune system is much better than yours.” he points out back, showing you the tip of his tongue in a teasing manner as you shake your head, trying to hide a smile.
Bickering with someone who knows you well – or best even – is tough. 
Now that's done and the two of you don't elaborate to bicker any further, you take the time to look around. The place you've seen from pictures looked different, customized for more people. This house is just as spacious and even though you're standing in the entryway, you can easily tell more people would be able to fit in here.
“Are you sure we're at the right place?” you ask, catching Jungkook sweeping his hair off his forehead with head leaned back. Mentally sighing at the painfully attractive sight, you turn around and admire the place you're in instead.
That's a safer choice anyway.
“It's beautiful, isn't it?” he asks instead, confirming that yes, you're at the right place. “Come on, let's see how it looks in person. The pictures were pretty great.”
You wonder why Jungkook hasn't shared them with you once he was able to switch houses. For sure, you haven't had that much time to talk about it. Everyone was busy with their jobs, you included, and then the accident with Taehyung happened which caused this entire planning to get rushed. Poor Jungkook took care of everything – but you know he's the best at it. 
When your mouth drops as you make it to the living room, you notice Jungkook grinning at the side of the entrance to the living room since there is no door. He wanted it to be a surprise.
One that appears to be more than successful.
“Kook–” you stop yourself. The entire side facing the sea is a window wall, giving the best view to the beach and sea. 
The floor is a darker wood, giving the room just the right balance of colors since there are a lot of light colors. The white couch is huge, in the shape of U, similar to what Jungkook owns at his place. There is a big beige carpet underneath the coffee table and couch, making it more cozy. A beautiful chandelier hangs down with transparent bulbs which is undoubtedly even more pretty at night. 
From up here, there's a porch with a pool and your legs itch to find out how big it is. 
It's a one floor beach house, a modern yet cozy one as Jungkook leads you to the right to show you the kitchen. It's a medium sized, smaller than the one he's got and you wonder why it's even here considering you'll get your food brought from the resort. 
The house ends from the left sounds but you move to the opposite side, jaw dropping at the beautiful bedroom. First of all, the interior is beyond any words and leaves you breathless. You've never seen something so beautiful in person. You could cry. And Jungkook's joyful grin is not helping at all.
The bed is not against any walls. It sits almost in the middle of the room. There's a panel behind it and further away, it leads you to a spacious bathroom. There are two sinks and a huge mirror – the room matched in turquoise and white colors.
“Jungkook–this is–how much did you spend on this?” you ask, turning to him with a hand on your hip with a frown. “This was definitely much more than you said.”
“Don't worry about it.”
“Jungkook, stop. I'm serious.”
“So am I,” he shrugs, sighing slightly. “I paid a little extra but it wasn't much.”
“I don't believe you.” You narrow your eyes at him as he cheekily grins and shrugs.
“Sounds like a you problem.”
“Jungkook!” 
However, your scolding is cut off by him simply walking away. The bed is facing the beach, the same view as you could see in the living room. Palms surround the house which create a little shade from the burning sun. 
There are dressers where you could store your clothes and stuff, but you don't pay any more attention to it as you follow Jungkook back to the entryway with a frown settled on your face. 
“Jungkook, I'm serious.”
“And so am I, Y/N,” he says simply, dragging your luggage to the living room. “I swear I didn't pay much. The owner wouldn't really have any other place for us. I wanted you to see this beach.”
You raise your brows at him, trying not to crack at the warm and sweet gesture.
“Plus I didn't want to stay anywhere else. So be mad at me all you want, but I'm happy to be here and from the looks of it, so are you.”
“Yes, but–”
“No, buts. Now get ready, we're leaving in twenty.”
You stammer over your words, mustering to ask only one word. “Where?”
“Out. Unless you wanna stay in and rest.”
He says, stopping as he turns around to look at you with raised brow, waiting for your response.
“Ah–no, I am fine with going out.”
“Good.”
And he leaves to the bedroom, “Oh–I hope you don't mind the one bedroom. They didn't have any houses with more rooms left. But I can sleep on the couch.” he calls out from there.
When you don't respond right away, his head pokes out of the corner with a awaiting gaze. 
“Why would I mind?” you breathe out, feeling like you just got awestruck. 
“Uhh–you want me to elaborate?”
You chuckle nervously, scratching your forearm before you shake yourself out of it and drop the expression. “Yah! You wanted to go out! So go get ready too!”
“Yes, m'am.” he salutes and disappears behind the wall of the bedroom. 
You stand there, sighing to yourself and at your fast beating heart. 
He's not going to make this easy, is he?
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Happiness oozes out of you and as much as you were unsure about this vacation, you're glad the guys managed to talk you out of backing off. In the end, it was your decision to go without Jimin and Taehyung who are very much missed. Though, you're completely obvious to the fact it's going to be challenging. 
The heat and raging hormones are not making it any easier for you. 
You can control yourself. You can do that as long as there's no impulse from the other side.
This vacation might've not started like you planned, but it started wonderfully without your friends here. It's also a great chance of getting your friendship back where it was. While you're sure the history between you will always be there and it will never go away, you can try to go back and not get pushed to do something silly due to any sort of temptation. 
Because that's what Jeon Jungkook is.
Having him right here, next to you while you explore the Island is a great challenge itself. At first, you don't pay any attention to the mentioned temptation. You're fine. You talk, you joke and have a great time exploring the Island. You go out and eat in one of the restaurants, you have the best ice cream that is like the greatest present for your heated bodies. Taehyung and Jimin facetime with you during it, which ultimately makes you miss them more – especially when you show them around and see their pouty faces.
After that, you visit a few local shops – promising each other that you will come back and shop some souvenirs not just for you two but for your friends as well. The heat is too much to spend the rest of the day in a direct sun with no refreshments. And you didn't come here to just stay inside, so you both decide to go to the beach.
You do want to get the best of it since you're about to get your period in the halfway of this vacation. The timing sucks but you won't let it ruin anything.
Quickly going back to the house to change and pack things, you use the close proximity to the sea and settle on the beach there. You decide to walk a little further, closer to people and other tourists where different bars occur. There will be time to enjoy that privacy later. 
Although, being left with him alone is all the things you're scared of. 
Just focus on you, and your friendship.
“Is here okay?” Jungkook asks, stopping a few meters from the sea.
Looking around, it's a good spot. You're not completely surrounded by the tourists, more to the side where you can enjoy the shade and sun at the same time. There are faint sounds of music coming from the nearby bars, squeals of people's excitement and chatters around you. Beach waves are like a lullaby to your ears, confirming the reality of your presence here. 
There are kids as well, not too many but you spot a few in the distance as they beg their parents to go to the water already. 
“It's perfect.” Is all it takes for Jungkook to drop the beach blankets down. You help him to get it in the right place, making sure the wind doesn't mess it up. 
Air here is far better and you can't wait to get into the water to freshen up. 
“I'm gonna get us some drinks.” Jungkook announces once you settle in, pulling out a straw hat he bought while you were visiting different shops. It's the only thing he had to buy.
At first you weren't sure why, it's not exactly his style and you're sure he packed one of his caps. But then, he just puts it on you and shields the top of your head. You lean your head back to give him a look.
“You don't wanna get a heat stroke.” he shrugs, hands on his hips as he stares down at you.
See, it's very hard to keep it casual and think of Jungkook being an annoying friend. While you fully appreciate his caring, it's hard to focus in general. He has a stupid excuse of a button-up, so thin all his tattoos can be seen through the seen through material. It's not even the tattoos itself. 
He has it completely unbuttoned, showing off his pecs and abs as the thin material barely covers any of his skin. Jungkook has always been handsome, but you also never had to see your friend like… this. 
Iceland would've been a better option than Hawaii. 
So far though, you've been strong – even though it doesn't seem like it. While you're completely obvious to Jungkook's body and additional sight of his skin, you just don't allow your eyes to drop there. You keep them solely on Jungkook's face, hoping he doesn't see the inner turmoil you're going through.
“What are you? My dad?” you ask instead, poking the front of the straw hat with a lifted brow. 
Jungkook grins, “Don't want you to get sick on our first day.”
“You forgot to put sunscreen on me. And bring a swim wheel.” you comment grumpily. 
Something feels odd. It's not like you're truly annoyed by his caring. But looking at the familiarity of this conversation and overall situation, something sits on the tip of your tongue. It's not a word or anything that could be said. It's almost like a taste you can't quite describe. 
And when you see Jungkook who just laughs with his head leaned back, shrugging effortlessly at your comment, you realize that perhaps it's the fact that things really are like they were. At least right now. Jungkook treats you like he has before. He's caring, having that one particular look in his eyes you haven't seen in a while. 
Or perhaps you're just dramatic and you're seeing things. 
Being confused and frustrated at yourself more than ever, luckily Jungkook cuts you off from your never-ending thoughts before you can drive yourself crazy. 
“Ah, maybe I should've. We both know you're not too confident in water.”
You gasp, reaching for your sandal which you throw in his direction. He laughs, dodging it perfectly as despite your attack, he still reaches for it and puts it back to the spot, so it won't get lost. It's a detail but leaves you gulping.
“I'm pretty confident in kicking your ass.”
“Alright,” he laughs, not believing a word you're saying which makes you roll your eyes at him. “Whatever you say.”
He confidently backs away with a smirk, laughing when you flip him off and huff out in frustration once he turns around and walks to one of the bars. He slowly walks further and further away, yet you keep your eyes on him. 
You lay back, staring at the palm tree above you. The sunlight peeks through the leaves, creating patterns on your heated face and cheeks. 
When he comes back, you gulp down the fresh lemon and mint drink without properly tasting it. 
“...okay.” Jungkook says, watching you being halfway down the drink – it's alcohol free which doesn't make you look completely insane. “Wanna go for a swim?”
Putting down the drink, you open your mouth just as Jungkook decides to ditch the stupid excuse of a cover-up. He shrugs it off and tosses it onto the sand, brushing his fingers through his black hair. It has gotten long to the point where it sometimes gets into his eyes.
Standing up, you undo the small knot on your white cover-up that looks like a short dress. It slips down your arms and meets the blanket underneath your feet.
“Ready?” you ask, dropping down the silly straw hat Jungkook has gotten you. 
“Is this new?” Jungkook questions instead, pointing at your white bikini. It's a cute set. What makes it cute looking and pretty is the ruffled style, yet it's complimenting your body in the nicest way. 
“Yeah, I bought it for this trip specially.” 
“You did?” 
“Yeah, you don't like it?” you ask, looking down at yourself and adjusting your bra that's pushing up your breasts. Not in the overly too much type, enough to show them off though. 
In your defense, it didn't look like this on the model when you were ordering it. Luckily, you would say it fits perfectly. Jungkook's silence causes you to look up, almost finding the thought of him not liking it or thinking of it negatively scary. You mentally gag at yourself. Since when do you care what others think?
To be fair, sometimes you do – if those people are close to you and it also happens what it is about. But your choice of fashion matters only to you. You won't let anyone change the way you perceive yourself and your individual style. 
As much as you're independent in this entire matter, you would lie if you didn't say you don't like compliments. Also, there is something about Jungkook's compliments. You almost gag for the second time when just the idea of it makes your stomach tickle.
“Are you staring at my tits, Jeon?”
Caught red-handed, Jungkook's slightly scrunched eyes from the sun widened in a split second. “You don't usually refer to them as tits.” he comments instead.
You chuckle at the ridiculous response, “I usually don't have to refer to them at all. But you were staring.”
“Can you blame the man?” he shrugs, stealing a quick glance again as you give him the look he knows very well. The one where your eyebrow has been lifted for what seems like the hundredth time in the span of thirty minutes.
“Jeon, for this to work, you gotta behave yourself.”
Jungkook frowns at the nickname, “I prefer Kook better.”
“Jeon.” you correct just to annoy him. Deep down you cackle at the way his brows scrunch together in the softest way possible. 
“What do you want me to do? They're just right there! We were talking about your bikini, it's not my fault.”
“You don't have to stare at my breasts though.”
“Did it make you feel weird?”
“Well–”
“See? You don't not like it!” he exclaims, pointing at you accusingly.
“I barely said anything!”
“You don't have to, I know that look.”
“This is ridiculous,” you mutter. “Besides, you didn't answer. You don't like it?”
“Are you seriously asking me that?” he deadpans.
“Um–yeah?” you deadpan back. 
He sighs, “I'm not gonna talk about your bikini because you're gonna accuse me of staring.”
“I don't have to accuse you, you were staring!” you laugh.
You're not going to lie. It does compliment you.
Even though you're here to focus on the two of you, in a different way than you were a few weeks ago, you should hate how Jungkook's attention makes your ego grow. 
“You told me to behave, so I'm gonna keep my mouth shut.”
“Why?” you question, not doing a great way to show your excitement. 
“Oh, now you want me to talk?” he laughs, “Nah, you wouldn't be able to handle it.”
“Cocky as always.”
He shrugs, “I never hid it.”
You nibble on your bottom lip, “But no, be serious right now.”
“Oh, I have been serious this whole time.”
“Jungkook!” you whine, “Is it not too much?”
“If I told you yes, would you change?”
You stay silent for a moment before simply saying; “No.”
“Then no, it's perfect.”
“Jungkook!” 
He stays silent for a moment, throwing his head back as his eyes squint shut from the trails of sun hitting his face. “God, woman.”
“What?” you mumble innocently.
Since when do you care what anyone thinks? Jungkook questions mentally, trying to keep his thoughts straight before he gets the courage to look you in the eyes.
“You look beautiful.”
You stare, battling with hundreds of things happening inside you. The heat in your cheeks gets almost unbearable and you do what you seem to be best at. Running away and playing it cool. “Yah, don't say it like that!”
“Like what?” Jungkook asks, brows pinched in confusion.
“So seriously.”
“I am serious,” Jungkook informs you, making it worse for your cheeks and the turmoil that's happening in the pit of your stomach. Why did you have to open your mouth? “Now let's go into that fucking water.”
“Woah.”
“Yeah, woah.”
“What's bothering you?” you ask, trailing behind him trying to catch up to him when he suddenly turns around and nears the sea. 
“Nothing,” he says casually, dipping his ankles into the chilly water. You open your mouth but before you can say something that could potentially lead to a conversation you would eventually back out of, Jungkook splashes your heated body.
You gasp, finding him smirking. Before you can get him back for it, he runs to the water and dips his entire body in. He emerges out of it in seconds, the water reaching just somewhere around his hips. You watch droplets of water run down his entire body, hair completely soaked from it as he wipes his face. 
“Are you staring at my abs, Y/L/N?” Jungkook shouts, your eyes widening as embarrassment makes it onto your face. Can he be any louder?
You look around for a second, trying to see if someone is witnessing this embarrassing moment. There's no one that seems to care, besides a group of girls meters away from you as they seem to find a certain interest in Jungkook. You purse your lips, looking at Jungkook. 
“Y'know, if I should behave, so should you.”
“I don't feel like behaving,” you call out to him, watching him as he creates waves with his hands as he effortlessly runs his hands through the water. “They are just there, you know?”
You get him back for it, still watching him and witnessing his lips curling into a knowing smirk. “Oh, are they?”
“Mhm.”
“Get in here.”
“No.” you giggle, laughing when Jungkook grins and shakes his head at you. 
“I'm gonna get you.”
“Come here then.”
And fuck, he does. You laugh through it all, trying to back away as you promise him you will go deeper, though not fully out of respect to the sea you have. He doesn't listen. As soon as his arms wrap around your body, molding into his almost too naturally and perfectly. But you're caught up in the moment and in your giggles, hearing Jungkook's laugh as you squeal when the coldish water wets you. 
You cling to Jungkook's side, “There are no sharks, right?”
Jungkook snickers, “Of course there are. Somewhere in the sea at least.”
You nudge him, but Jungkook holds you close since he can reach better than you. He's also a way better swimmer than you. “Don't say that.”
“Look at those kids,” he says and points to the side. There are kids on their floaties, of course with their parents around. “They're not scared of sharks.”
“They could be dessert for all I care, I'm not gonna be one.” you joke, hearing Jungkook laugh as he doesn't allow you to inch closer to the shore. 
“You could be mine, but you wanted a break.” 
You gasp, tickling his side as he barely falters and just gives you the teasing grin. “Don't say stuff like that. I told you.”
“Alright, I won't.” he promises, imitating his lips being locked as he throws the imaginary key far to the sea. “I was joking.”
“Were you?” you ask, pretending to be teasing and amused but the truth is, there's a part of you trying to know the truth. 
“I guess you'll never know. I told you I'm shut.” he says with a grin like the annoying brat he can be. 
And for the sake of yourself, you decide to leave it be. You splash his face instead, playing it off like you seem to do often. For your own sake. 
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Jungkook has always been the adventurous type. You've heard all kinds of stories from Taehyung and Jimin, some of them back from Busan or from the times you haven't been present in their lives back then. Jungkook would be up for anything that could get him the thrill and although, there weren't that many opportunities considering everyone's busy lives – you could see it from his mere decision of being up to all sorts of fun that involves adrenaline. 
So you shouldn't be surprised he practically stuttered and almost jumped from excitement once he spotted a place where jet skis can be rented. You've read his mind even before he opened his mouth and dragged you there.
After swimming and messing around in the sea for a while, you went for a walk and explored the beach, and tasted a few good snacks. You should've known it's not ending with that. 
And that's where you ended up. Sitting behind Jungkook, both of you wearing safety vests and you clutching to his back, arms around his waist. You live in the moment, focusing on each activity the two of you do.
The sun is now setting down, air is still warm but with the sun slowly disappearing, it's not boiling hot. You're exhausted and your body screams for a good cold shower and bed. On your way back to the beach house, you walk in silence and enjoy the sound of waves around you. 
You're the first one to occupy the bathroom, taking the chance to not be in the presence of Jungkook's naked abs and chest. As long as you keep your mind and body busy, there's a low chance of you overthinking and letting your mind wander somewhere where it simply should not. 
Not wanting to dwell any further of how this might have been a mistake, you take it as a test to prove your friendship. Jungkook is a temptation that has grown over the few months you get to experience something you haven't before. 
As the water dribbles down your naked body, wetting every inch of your skin, you think it's too soon to want everything to be different or back like it was. Because it never will be. And for that, you're scared of what's about to come. There are things you can control and then there are things that simply will evolve into something. The feeling of the unknown and fear of ruining your friendship with Jungkook genuinely scares you.
But again. You think of it more positively, you have to or else you're going to lose your mind. Jungkook's attractiveness and the fact you're attracted to him won't go anywhere. At least not in the near future and it's something you need to come to terms with. Like you said, it's too soon to think of it any differently. 
While you're here to focus on your friendship, perhaps you should focus on yourself more as well. 
As you wash yourself in a nice scent of orange and vanilla, you apply a body lotion you've brought to make your skin soft. While you do that and start doing unnecessary steps as your night routine, one you definitely don't do when you've spent the day not wearing make-up specifically, you tell yourself you just pamper yourself instead of trying to look good for someone else. 
Your skin is glowing and hair almost dried by the time you join Jungkook in the living room, wearing one of your night gowns. 
He's on his phone, barely glancing at you before he takes a double-take and eyes you up and down. 
“What?”
You're the first one that breaks the short-lived silence. Any nightgown is a small portion of what could be considered as your sleepwear. Jungkook out of everyone knows that, because he's seen you in everything you usually sleep in. Back in the day, you would never get the courage to let him see you sleep in anything other than oversized shirts and shorts. Even thinking of wearing tank tops made you feel weird, especially if he god forbid could see your nipples peeking through. 
This white nightgown is beautiful, but by no means designed to make men salivate or suggest anything other than having something nice to wear. Besides, the material is thin and light which is perfect for this warm weather. Plus, you and Jungkook have agreed or not having the AC turned on unless it's completely necessary. Not only is it not healthy but you're also very sensitive to coldness. Getting sick on this vacation is just not on your list, therefore you're trying to eliminate that chance as much as possible.
He narrows his eyes at you, trying to figure you out and you realize it right away before he can even open his mouth and offer you any sort of response.
“Oh, don't get this wrong. I packed my best stuff on this vacation and I didn't know we were sharing a bedroom.”
“I haven't said anything.” he says, watching you as if you were a predator as you get closer.
“You didn't have to, it's all over your face.”
As much as you enjoy his eyes on you, which always compliments you – it's one of those moments when you hide behind confidence and ignore the warmth that spreads inside the pit of your stomach. There's no point in thinking how many words from him or simple eye-contact would it take for him to take matters into his own hands. Or more like you. 
But you can't think about that. You can't wonder about it.
“I would suggest wearing something different but I won't.”
He smiles and it's so brief you barely catch it. “And why is that?”
“Because it's not my problem, of course.” you tease. “I'm wearing this for myself.”
“I never initiated anything different,” he tells you, tilting his head to the side while he studies your face. He doesn't even lock his phone as he tosses it beside him. “You should sleep in whatever you're comfortable in.”
“I will.”
“Good.”
You both stare at each other, trying not to crack a good laugh. It's a weird moment. Something between joking, amusement and tension that boils. If this happened a few weeks ago, he would probably have you underneath him as you're speaking. And the image is so explicit that it leaves a warm coat all over your body and you have to take a step back.
“But seriously now, you don't feel weird because of this?”
“If I said I am, would you change?”
“Of course not.”
He cracks a grin, “Then why asking?”
“I'm curious. I don't want to make you feel weird and this wasn't my intention. Besides, this doesn't expose anything major–and you've seen everything–”
“I have and for someone who doesn't care and wears this for herself, you're awfully explanatory.” 
Your eyes narrow into thin slits as you glare at him, sending him a warning look that's easily met with a boyish grin from him. 
“Now that you're finally out and finished making yourself look good for yourself, I'm gonna take a shower.”
Jungkook's laugh booms through the room and bounces off the walls when he manages to escape from your leg aiming at his buttcheek. To be fair, you were there for longer than you initially planned.
“Are you making fun of me, Jeon?” you call out to him, trying to sound pissed as a comfort glazes your soul. 
“When have I ever?” He calls out back, already in the bathroom and hidden from any threats your legs might make. 
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It's been ages since you've had such a good sleep.
Exhaustion and the amount of activities you've done yesterday ultimately had a good share of it. The air here is different. The faint sounds of waves have been an additional part of your sleep. No cars passing by or city lights peeking through your blinds, or even occasional footsteps of your neighbors above your head.
You understand why people travel so far to relax. Sunlight peeks through the wide open window you've left and lets the chilly air get through the night. It felt so lovely that you fell asleep as soon as you closed your eyes.
Traces of sun touch your skin and make it warm, warmer than you've appreciated though and that alone tells you you're about to have another hot day ahead of you. Jungkook has briefly informed you of today's plans, always keeping in mind what you want to do but since you're more of a tagging alone vacation type, you just agree with whatever. 
You're here to relax and if you see something you would like to see or try, you'll feel open to do so. It's something you've assured him right before your body slumped into the comfiest bed you've ever laid in. Not even Jungkook's massive bed can compete with it. 
Or maybe it was the exhaustion all along.
Speaking of Jungkook, you tilt your head sideways to check on him. Not before you rub your eyes off the sleepiness. A sight of Jungkook's exposed back stares at you right back. Similar to the position you've just woken up from, he's sleeping on his stomach while arms underneath the white pillow as he hugs it to his face. You can't see his face and for a moment, you think it's better that way.
Whoever would see you right now, they would get a totally bad perception of the two of you. You look nothing like best friends who occasionally share bed.
Overthinking is not a huge part of your life. At least you think so. But ever since months have passed by and you've decided to take a break from the temptation laying right beside you, you feel like you've done nothing but that. Overthinking every second. 
You believe everything happens for a reason. And while you told yourself you're not going to overthink it and focus on your friendship instead, you do wonder if there's a true reason for why you and him ended up spending this vacation alone. 
Sure, Taehyung got injured and couldn't travel while Jimin couldn't go because of last changes at his work. It shouldn't mean more but just a mere coincidence that consists of bad luck and life. 
Like you've told yourself many times before, you will take this opportunity to focus on your decision of why you decided to take a break. Besides, you can't think about it too much and you do have to put lust aside, focusing on something that is far more sacred and important to you. 
You've no idea how long you lay there with your eyes open, watching the beautiful view out of your bed. You haven't checked your phone, something you would've done by now if you were at home. But not at the moment. You want to fully enjoy this and stay in the present – because right now it feels like you don't need anything else. 
You haven't realized how much you needed to get away. Perhaps the reason for this vacation is not to tell you something secretive, but it's for you to recharge and come back stronger than ever.
And maybe there's no reason for it. Maybe you should just freaking enjoy it and not overthink every second. 
You almost groan out loud, ready to spring out of the bed to stop yourself from thinking and being alone with your mind. The soft groan coming from the person next to you stops you and for some dumb reason, you catch yourself closing your eyes as if to pretend you were sleeping. 
Jungkook tosses around and stretches his limbs, groaning raspily under his breath as he turns to his back. He's back to sleeping, so do you think before you slowly open your eyes and catch the perfect sight of him doing the same a second after. He blinks, frowning slightly as if he realizes where he is.
Witnessing that is cute. Wait. What.
You widen your eyes and quickly shake that thought away. Calling him cute, even if it's in your mind seems illegal. Even though you've done that many times before. Years ago to be exact. 
“Mornin',” he rasps out, hand reaching to his face as long fingers rub the sleep and tiredness off those puffy eyes. 
Muttering the same greeting, you watch him close them for a moment as a soft groan makes it past his lips. “How long have you been awake?” he asks sleepily.
Long enough to watch you sleeping, you admit in your mind but it sounds ridiculous even there. You shouldn't have these thoughts anyway, no matter how honest you are.
“Just a few minutes,” you reply instead, rolling onto your back as you stare at the ceiling. 
A momentary silence has never been an issue with Jungkook. In fact, you don't find it uncomfortable but for some reason, having him so close feels weirdly familiar and odd. It's different now but it is not at the same time. You're both in a completely different state. While you realize it's in your head and sleepy Jungkook has no idea, you decide to cut off the silence and fill it with a conversation.
“It's already ten.” Your eyes drift to the digital clock that sits on the nightstand on your side. 
“Fuuck,” Jungkook sighs, rubbing his face again. “Already?”
You nod, glancing at him to find his arm tucked under his head, his face turned to you as he offers you a sleepy smile. Gulping down, you sit up and pat down your hair to make it less messy. 
“What are we doing first today?” 
Not offering him any more attention with your eyes, your feet slip into your slides easily as he remains silent for a moment. Your back burns, the traces of his eyes are without a doubt the reason for it.
“We should eat something first, then I wanna rent a car so it's easier to travel on the island. And then bungee jumping.” 
“Fuck, you still wanna do that?” you whine a little, glancing over your shoulder to find him grinning at your evident disappointment.
“You only live once.”
“That's a stupid reason to do stuff like that,” you point out.
You're all up for Jungkook having fun and trying new things he hasn't. However, sometimes your type of fun and interest differs from Jungkook's and once again, you're reminded of his adventurous self. There's no way in hell you'll go through that. He knows that.
“But if something happens to you, I want your car.”
Jungkook snorts out loud, your own lips curling into an amused grin as your feet pat into the bathroom. 
“Or no, your apartment will do.” you raise your voice as you call out to him, making sure he hears you. 
He does, along with the amusement and teasing in your soft voice. 
“How generous you are,” he calls back. “You wouldn't survive without me.”
You chuckle under your breath, washing your face in cold water. You're done within a minute, patting down the remains of it.
“Oh, here we go. Cocky much in the morning?” 
“You should know that by now.” 
You jump at how fast and close the answer comes. Jungkook stands between the door frame, leaning against the left side of it. Crossing his arms over his chest, you try to not stare too much at the display of his skin and muscles.
Reaching for your toothbrush instead, you focus on your task instead and stare at your reflection in the mirror. Your cheeks feel warm all of a sudden and you're sure it has nothing to do with Hawaii's warm weather. 
Jungkook watches you in silence. You're not sure if he still has a cocky grin attached to his lips or if he's simply just watching, but you know he is. You can feel it. And then you hear him stepping closer until he reaches for his own toothbrush. The familiar scent of him wraps around you once again as you give him a look with an arched brow. 
Is this his way of keeping his distance? 
Well, to be fair he never said he will keep his distance. Your idea of how this is going to work is simply to focus on your relationship, rather than the physical side of it and what was left of it. 
Although, you have no idea how him standing shirtless next to you is going to help that. You welcome the challenge though. 
You two ignore a lot of facts that surround you. So you continue to brush your teeth next to each other like it's the most normal thing ever. And maybe it is.
But back then none of you were shirtless or exposed enough that there is only so little left to each other's imagination. Is imagination even a thing here? 
You've seen every inch of each other's bodies. You don't have to imagine anything because you've seen it all. You've felt it all.
“Do you mind?”
You straighten up once you spit the remains of mouthwash. Jungkook turns on the shower, checking the temperature as he's visibly ready to take his morning shower. 
“Unless you wanna join me.”
It's the cunning smirk that slowly sneaks onto his face that makes you scrunch up the small face towel that's been used and throw it in his direction. It bounces off his puffed out chest and you hate how he laughs, ignoring your attempt to silently tell him to fuck off.
“Boundaries, Jeon.” You remind him.
“You never minded them before.” He continues to tease you and you snarl at him, throwing him a glare. 
“Now I do.”
“Alright, alright. Sorry.” He bows and you groan, flipping him off before you close the bathroom door with a loud thud.
His humorous laugh behind the door accompanies you long enough until you're far away to breathe it out. You'll have to do that a lot when it comes to Jungkook.
Your soft smile is caught in the reflection of a sparkling clean microwave and you quickly look away, ignoring the previously stated facts. 
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“Kook, are you really sure?” 
After you had breakfast, walked around a bit and rented a car like Jungkook said, you stand in a queue that's slowly but surely shortening. 
He would've actually laughed if he didn't glance at you and see your widened eyes, as you stare at staff putting a harness on people and preparing them for the jump. Whenever someone jumps with a loud scream, some people as a pair, he sees your breath hitching and stopping for a moment.
Of course he is sure. He's mentioned this a couple of times throughout the years but he never really had the opportunity to do this. So you're aware of not only his interest but excitement as well. 
Unfortunately for him, this is a hard no for you and even though you would do anything for Jungkook – go special lengths such as pretending to be his girlfriend – this is where you draw the line. It's comical. 
“You sure you don't wanna jump with me?” He asks instead, laughing when he sees your dumbfounded look. Is he serious?
He had to sign a freaking liability waiver that he's doing this at his own risk. While you're aware this is a standard contract for all these kinds of sports, you've almost thrown up when the woman handed it to him and he signed it. 
“Worth a shot.” he mumbles.
It's laughable as you stand beside him, shifting uncomfortably from side to side as if you were the one doing this. Meanwhile Jungkook is close to jumping from excitement as he watches other participants before him in a complete awe and excitement. 
“Have you not watched a horror movie when the most ridiculous stuff happens once people do this kind of stuff?”
He gives you a side glance, “Are you talking about Final Destination?” he stops for a second, “I don't remember there was a bungee jumping scene.”
“It's not about bungee jumping itself.” you point out, growing frustrated that he's practically just making fun of it.
“You should stop watching horror movies.”
Your response comes right away. “I would have, if you guys didn't force me every time.”
He snickers, “Y'know, for someone who's always very considerate and empathic, you sure know when to talk about the right stuff.”
“Talking about all the risks this includes is right,” you inform him. “I'm worried.”
“No one wants to hear there's a risk of a plane falling when you're about to board the plane.”
Oh shit, he's right. You know he is, yet you couldn't help yourself and hoped that he's going to change his mind at the last minute. Obviously, for your own selfish reasons.
“Flying a plane is different though.” You still stubbornly mumble, hearing another scream from one of the participants which makes you flinch. 
“The point is not,” he points out but as you open your mouth to argue, he grabs you by your shoulders and has you standing in front of him. “Stop worrying, I would do this with or without you.”
“Damn, how sweet of you.” you mutter, causing him to laugh. “Couldn't we ride horses or something instead?”
“We could still do that. After I jump.”
“Oh god, don't say it like that!” you whine. He laughs, wrapping his arm around your shoulders as he hugs you to his side. 
“Taehyung would jump with me.”
“Taehyung would probably be drunk out of his ass if he happened to jump.”
You look at each other, laughing before the woman's staff calls out for Jungkook. She asks if you're jumping together and you wildly shake your head at her, stepping aside as you let her put a harness on Jungkook. 
He's grinning, watching her excitedly as she says all kinds of information about safety to him. You don't listen to that. For a moment you just focus on the happiness and excitement on him that has been evident ever since you stepped out of the car.
Their conversation is a little lost on you, therefore your brows are furrowed in utter confusion when Jungkook sits down and gets his legs secured. 
“Wait–what are you doing?” you ask. 
All people before him either sat when they were jumping or they looked as if they were lying, in a flying position. Jungkook puts a helmet on, shooting you a thumbs up as he ignores your ready to flip out. 
He's being hoisted up, upside down as he grins like a kid at you. 
“What the hell, are you crazy, Jungkook?” you yell, hands gripping the railing for dear life.
You thought this center did just those positions and Jungkook flying upside down just never crossed your mind, even though you know people jump like that too. 
“See you soon.”
“Jungkook!”
But before he can focus on your angry expression, he flies you a kiss and is let go. You yelp, wincing as you his body flies into the distance in a rapid motion. You can't help but watch, your eyes lingering on what seems like a dot down there the entire time. 
“My boyfriend jumped as well, a couple of times actually.” Someone says beside you and you don't look, you can't as your eyes stay on Jungkook. But from the voice, her accent tells you she's local. “If it makes you feel better, no accidents happened here. A few people threw up but that's it.”
You offer her a nervous chuckle, not really thinking Jungkook will be throwing up. In the worst case scenario, he would want to jump again. 
“See?” She stands closer, taking a closer look as they start pulling him up and you sigh in relief. “Your boyfriend is safe. Is he the throwing up type?”
You finally glance at her, seeing her tan face and curly hair surrounding it. 
“He's not my boyfriend,” you tell her, “He's my best friend. Psycho best friend it seems.”
She laughs but her eyes linger on you, looking as if she doesn't believe you. You subtly roll your eyes. You know exactly what she's thinking. You've seen that reaction many times before and by now, it no longer phases you. 
Everything else becomes a white noise and the girl beside you is long forgotten as the cord springs back to its original space and with that, they pull Jungkook slowly up. They help him balance. Letting go of the railing, you wait for him to move aside so he's not that close to the edge as it's another person's turn. 
But none of that matters and when Jungkook finds you at your original spot, he smirks. “Missed me?”
“You idiot!” you curse, punching his chest before you hug him. He laughs, chest vibrating as he hugs you back.
“I would jump again but I wouldn't wanna give you a heart attack.”
You smack him again, giving the girl that still stands there a knowing look. Jungkook's eyes move toward her for a moment, wondering who she is but his attention is back at you as you breathe out loudly. 
“You're crazy, you know that?”
He shrugs, effortlessly running his fingers through his hair. “I'm crazy about a lot of things.”
Rolling your eyes, you nudge your head toward the exit before he changes his mind and you'll be charged for a murder. “Let's go.”
He listens, but not before he tickles your side for a good measure, earning another smack. 
He's a crazy idiot for making you worry like that.
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“Awww, you were so worried about your Kookie?”
Baring your teeth at Taehyung's huge grin that displays on Jungkook's phone screen, he's a lucky person that you're currently sitting at one of the restaurants near the beach. There are too many people for you to tell him to fuck off. 
You knew the moment Jungkook decided to accept the video call, they would have a field day. Honestly, they make the situation way more dramatic than it was. Luckily for them, you know your friends and their annoying teasing that is purely raged by your annoyed reactions. It's what makes their eyes lit up until you put a stop to their charades. 
That's what you get for being the only woman in your inner and close circle. 
You glare at Jungkook, non-verbally asking him do you see what you did?
As always, Taehyung asked about your day and since he can't be a part of it, he likes to hear details. He doesn't mind it, as he assured you many times. You still feel bad that he can't be here with you. Jimin too.
And luckily for Jungkook, he briefly mentioned you almost shit your pants when you saw him actually doing it. He wasn't really making fun of you, until Taehyung took the matters into his hands and turned it into a teasing battle that you're a victim of. 
You lean toward the table where Jungkook holds his phone, facing you as he watches your interaction with Taehyung with amusement sparkling in his eyes. “Fuck both of you,” you whisper, making sure Taehyung hears it. 
He does.
It makes his grin even bigger. 
“You should've seen him. He jumped upside down.”
“Isn't that what people do when they bungee jump?” Taehyung asks, met with another huff coming out of you.
“Yes, but dozens of people before him didn't jump upside down.” you inform him with a sass, seeing him put his hands up in surrender.
“Honestly, you're like an old married couple. You scold him and he fucking enjoys it.”
Rolling your eyes, you adjust the napkin that's sitting on your lap. It's getting dark now. Until the adventurous day, you wanted to have a calm dinner by the beach. Tomorrow's plan is to enjoy at least a half of the day there, relaxing. No adrenaline sports.
“Are you even scared of anything?” you ask Jungkook, lifting up both your brows.
“I'm scared of many things.”
“Yeah and you're one of them.” Taehyung butts in. Jungkook rolls his eyes and so do you.
“You guys make it seem as if I torture you on daily basis.”
“Well, you can be scary sometimes.”
“You know what, Tae?” you press your lips together in a fake smile.
“Wha–”
You don't give him a chance to respond, ending the call. Jungkook snickers, pulling his phone to him as he checks the screen. You sit back with a satisfied smile.
“You know Tae… He would tease shit out of everyone and everything.”
“Oh, you're not so innocent either.” you point out with a chuckle.
He frowns, momentarily pausing as he reads out a message. “He just texted me–fucking rude.”
“Send him a kissing emoji, he's gonna know it's me.”
Jungkook shakes his head with a chuckle, typing something there. He locks his phone, putting it away as it has become a strict and unsaid rule to not have phones when you're out. To be honest, it happened naturally and you're guessing, both of you want to enjoy this time without the internet. Unless it's to make calls of course.
“Besides, you were shaking when I danced on the table. You were practically shitting your pants back then–do you see me teasing you for it?”
He frowns, “When?”
“The NYE party? Jin's cabin?”
Quiet follows for a moment as the mention of one of the very significant nights comes to the surface. Not even the waves in the background can wash out the slight odd vibe in the air. So much happened there.
“You remember that?”
“Faintly, but Taehyung filled me in.” you shrug.
“That was different,” he simply says.
“Different how? I was having fun and you begged me to come down.”
“Yes, because you were wasted out of your ass. I had all safety measures taken care of, while you were dancing, wasted wearing heels.”
You purse your lips.
“So don't compare those two.”
He doesn't sound angry, he's strictly informative and you wonder what he's so defensive about. Perhaps the memories from that night aren't exactly pleasant. You might've looked like you were having the time of your life, but you were going through hell back then. 
“Damn, alright. Point taken.” you mutter, seeing him roll his eyes but his lips crack a grin.
“Just don't dance on the table this time.”
“Why would I do that?” you laugh.
“To get back at me.”
It's silly. You wouldn't do that and he knows that. There it is. It's the innocent teasing you've missed. Innocent. That's what you need. 
You still reach toward the wine glass as you gulp it down. A tight smile is the last thing you offer Jungkook before you dig into your meal.
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It's the next and second day of you officially being here. 
Over the short period of your stay, it's crazy to realize how used to you've become to the new world around you. You and Jungkook have fallen into the routine of waking up without any alarm, not bothering yourselves to set one so you could do as many things as you can during your stay. 
Both of you relax and let things happen naturally, with a bit of planning because you still want to have fun and experience fun things. It's not hectic at all. 
Jungkook drags you to learn how to surfboard and while he's a natural talent (another of course), you're having just as much fun even though you're nowhere near Jungkook's level. You taste the most delicious food until you can't eat anymore, worrying you're going to have a stomach ache if you won't stop at the right time.
Now you're laying on the beach blanket with eyes closed, listening to the waves that are always there. 
Jungkook has gone to grab you some alcohol free drinks, cold drinks, after you both agreed on having them. It's been a while since he left, so you crack your eyes open and squint at the bright sun even though you've been lying in the shade. 
You look around. A part of people playing beach volleyball, tanning or swimming in the water, you don't spot him right away. Until you would recognize his figure everywhere and from miles away. He's bringing his drink with him, staring at the sand under his bare feet and you can't help but watch him the entire time. 
His hair is still a bit wet from swimming that he decided on earlier. Jungkook knows how to relax and you've seen him relaxing more than ever here. However, he still needs to get active somehow so every few minutes, he decides to do something. It's quite laughable and adorable, considering he would be lifting weights if he was back at home. 
He's passing by the volleyball court that someone provisionally made and entertained a bunch of tourists that were looking for a bit of sport and fun. You're supposed to go jet skiing with Jungkook tomorrow, so you will save that later and just bask in the sun for now. 
Your thoughts fade away just as they naturally came when you spot a group of girls, calling out to Jungkook which stops in his tracks and looks at them with curious eyes. His mouth stretches into a smile as he nods, looking around with drinks in his hand until one of the girls points toward the little table next to their deck chairs. He sets it there carefully before he pats his hands over his swim trunks. Another girl eagerly hands him something which you soon realize is a phone.
They pose for him as Jungkook snatches a few pictures of them. Sitting in the distance for a good minute, he keeps taking pictures of them as they pose in typical poses with the beach and sea behind them. 
It's pointless to mention they're all wearing bikinis. You're not one to judge and you would never criticize their bodies but shit, they all look good and definitely stand out with their different body types. They're hot and you don't have to be a man to conclude that. 
They chat for a while and you hate yourself for growing slightly annoyed at Jungkook's absence and clear interest in whatever conversation they have. Minutes seem like hours and you look away, watching your surroundings. God, you're pathetic. You act as if your eyes don't move in their direction every now and then. 
Until you're staring at the sea in front of you and notice Jungkook's nearing. He sets your drinks down. “Here you go, but be careful when drinking. It's cold.”
Cold? All the ice probably melted until you stopped chatting with the girls.
Pressing your lips together, you nod understandingly and take a sip so you bite your tongue and don't say something that could spiral into any sort of confrontation. What's the deal? You're not even mad at him. You're mad at him for being bothered. 
It's okay. They just wanted a group photo and Jungkook was passing by. No big deal. 
You sigh, giving him a smile as you look at the nice pink colors your strawberry drink's having.
“I met some girls on my way here. They're about to play volleyball. They ask me to join, you wanna join too?”
You freeze for a second, only your eyes sending him a glance. Of fucking course.
Can you blame them though? Jungkook's hot and has been catching women's gazes every time he comes out. They're shooting their shots and who are you to stand in their way? You've learned from your past mistakes when it came to Ester or another girl in Jungkook's life. Plus, you're on a vacation and they're strangers.
“Nah, you go. I'm gonna sit here and fangirl.”
He lifts his brow, “You sure?”
“Yeah.”
He eyes you suspiciously. “I'll stay if you want me to.”
You give him a dumbfounded look. “I'm not your mother, Kook. Go have fun.” you chuckle.
“Alright.” he nods, standing up. “I'll be right there if you need anything.”
“I'm all good,” you assure him. “Go kick their asses.”
He laughs, shaking his head. “They're girls, Y/N.”
He heads back to them, unaware when you mutter under your breath; “So?”
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At first, you thought there's no reason for you to dig deeper in things that don't matter and would show overtime. You've stuck to your own little world, relaxing and checking your phone every now and then. You've also watched the volleyball game. 
Interesting to watch, you may say. 
Jungkook's in his element and you're not exactly talking about the female audience around him. Some guys joined them too and you soon realize they know the girls, or at least are familiar with them. Jungkook's team is winning. No doubt there and you find yourself smiling whenever he shoots, and the ball hits the sand on the opposite side of the other team. You silently cheer for him.
For a second you think of recording him and sending it to Jimin and Taehyung. But knowing Taehyung, he would thirst over the women playing the game rather than the real meaning of the video. Perhaps you're a bit selfish because you definitely don't need to hear about how hot those women are. Because that's what they are. 
They're women.
But you should've expected this to happen. It's what you maybe wanted to happen. It's a great opportunity to fully move on. There will be many occasions and situations like this. You shouldn't be mad.
So why the fuck your lips turn downwards like you've been kicked to the stomach?
Jungkook comes back after running with everyone to the water to freshen up. He yells something to them when walking out of the sea, grinning from ear to ear. You feel like an idiot. How can you be so bothered when he seems happy?
“Hey, they want to jet ski for a bit. You wanna join?”
Jet skiing is fun, you would go but you stop yourself from nodding because of your own partially selfish reasons. “No, you go.”
“I know we're supposed to go tomorrow and we will–”
“Kook, it's no big deal,” you laugh, “We can go tomorrow.”
“You sure you don't wanna go? They're all nice.”
You're sure they are.
“Maybe I will join you later or something.”
“They wanna play volleyball again, so you can join, then.”
“Yeah, sure.” you smile, giving him a thumbs up as he gulps more of the drink until it's finished. 
You wave at him as he joins them again, going to rent the jets. You sigh, groaning silently at yourself. A part of you wanted to join them just to stick with Jungkook. It's okay for him to have fun with someone else.
Your throat feels tight when you see the woman sticking to his side. Her caramel skin glistens under the sun rays and she looks straight out of any male fantasy. You've seen so many different models coming from your model agency, but this one takes the cake and you're not sure if she's a model. 
Her curves are thicker than the models you usually see. She's wearing a revealing bikini, her breasts almost spilling out of the bra but it's not because of that. It's because she's gorgeous. She's different from Kiko. She's different from you.
You would guess she might not be Jungkook's type. But then he looks down at her, smiling widely as he fastens her vest and something kicks inside you. 
“Hey–” 
Your head moves quickly toward the male with full on abs, nearing you carefully as he chuckles when you give him a glare.
“The guy–Jungkook?” he stops for a moment, “He told us you're his friend.”
Friend. That stings for a split second.
“I am, and?”
He chuckles, not put off by your raised brow and dangerous eyes. The man's skin is tanned and his dark wet hair is pushed back, showing you his sharp jawline. 
“And I wanted to check on you and ask if you really don't wanna join.”
Oh god, he must think you're some kind of introvert that avoids all social interactions. Little does he know you did it for your and Jungkook's sake. 
You glance back at them, Jungkook sitting on a jet ski as the girl sits behind him, hugging him from behind. Your throat goes dry and you swallow down the lump that suddenly appears there.
“Officially, you don't have to if you do–”
You roll your eyes at the familiar sentence and you grow slightly annoyed at that. You brush any sand that might appear on your moisturized skin. 
“Y'know what? I was starting to get bored.”
His smile grows and he looks you up and down. Not in the disgusting and perverted way, but in an almost challenging way as he smirks. 
“What about my things though?” you look down at your phone. 
“We can leave it in the bar there. They always look after our things when we do stuff like this.”
“Always?”
“We're here for the third time.”
“We.”
“Some of our friends. But we always meet someone new too, so they join us.” 
Just like Jungkook right now. 
“Oh, so you're the friendly type?”
He chuckles, “Not always. Just for specific people.”
And then there's the look in his eyes. Challenging and telling you more than his lips are. Oh god. He's flirting with you. 
You grab your and Jungkook's phones, not wanting them to get stolen. When you straighten and balance yourself, he holds out his hand for you to take. You slap his hand, brushing past him. “Let's go.”
You hear his amused chuckle behind you as he guides you toward the bar. After your stuff is taken care of and the staff is obviously familiar with him, you join the others. 
“Guys, someone's gonna join us after all.” He calls out and you realize you don't know his name.
Jungkook is in the middle of conversation, grinning as he looks up curiously. His smile falls when he spots you and you almost lift your brow at him. 
“Cool!”
“Great!”
“I'm Nat, what's your name?”
All kinds of questions and reactions are thrown at you. Welcoming and warm which you're glad for.
You introduce yourself, feeling a hand on the back of your back, not going any lower out of respect as the man who brought you here, guides you to one of the jets. 
“Mind sharing this one with me, Y/N?” he asks, handing you the vest. 
“No,” you say lightly and feigning innocence. “Do you?”
“Of course not.”
“You could at least tell me your name. Y'know, in case something happens to me.”
“What's fun in that?”
“So you're also the mysterious type?” Cocking your brow at him in challenge, he smirks. 
“Gabriel.”
He excuses himself for a minute, to grab his own vest as you put the one he handed you on. 
“I thought you didn't wanna go.” Jungkook suddenly says, standing right in front of you. He lightly nudges your hands as he helps you to fasten up your vest. 
You stare at him, “Changed my mind.”
“You could've told me. Wanna ride with me?”
“You already have someone to ride with.” you tell him, chuckling as you're trying your best to appear light and carefree.
“I see you do too. Doesn't mean we can change it up.”
You shrug, “He offered.”
He frowns, his eyes dropping all over your face as they stop on your lips for a quick moment. “So, you cool with that?”
“Yeah,” you say, swallowing. “It's okay to meet new people.”
His eyes snap to yours. He watches you, causing you to almost squirm in his never flattering eye contact. “What do you mean?”
Fuck, you should've stay silent. 
“Well, we talked about this earlier. We're not–it's probably for the best.”
You watch his tongue poke the inside of his cheek, a knowing look crossing over his features as he momentarily looks away before he chuckles. He rubs his nose as he backs away. 
“Okay.”
Him going back to the woman, watching her arms around his waist when they haven't even set off yet, is not the most disturbing feeling. As Gabriel joins you and you sit in the same position like Jungkook and the woman, you can't help but realize that none of this seems okay.
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a/n: Oh god. It's already out! It's been a while since I wrote an author's note & to be honest, there's so much that I wanna say. At first, I wasn't really sure what – minus of course to thank you for your understanding and patience which unfortunately doesn't involve everyone. I'm glad that this chapter is finally out! To think it was supposed to be out in summer (and it's already close to winter 🥴) and even earlier than that, is insane!! 
I don't wanna go into too much detail and make this a/n too long, most of you probably have been hanging around for a while to know everything that has happened since the last update. Life has been busy but I don't think about it negatively, even tho it obviously affects my writing schedule. I needed the hectic lifestyle. Sometimes I felt too exhausted, but I would rather take something positive from it than think of it negatively, especially since I wasn't in a good space before. 
I wanna apologize for taking so long. I know y'all have been waiting. For me, it didn't even feel that long which shows just how quickly everything has been happening in my life. There are so many things that affected it and I could literally make a list (lol) but I'm sure most of you know a good amount of it, since I've been as honest as I could've been. I know I couldn't control 99% of how busy I got. There were times when I wanted to write badly but I barely could even think of it. There were also times when I could've found inspiration and time, but then one look at my Wattpad profile or my inbox made me just lock my phone and do other things. 
I don't want to make this a/n to give off a negative vibe, because there is so much to be happy about, but I just wish some people could be more understanding. Some of them have been extremely toxic, not making it any easier for me. I'm slightly sad to admit that if it wasn't for my passion and love for this story, I probably would just pack it off because the hate and messages I got are insane. I know me saying this won't change anything – I've tried multiple times. But please for love of God, stop pressuring writers and gaslight them, or many other unnecessary and disgusting things.
But putting this aside, I wanna thank everyone who's shown me love and support – made all of this worth it. I hope you've enjoyed this chapter, there is more to come and I've already started working on the next one. Please, don't ask when and how much. I don't know. I'll do my best. My goal is to post at least once a month, but this doesn't mean it will happen. I've learned not to plan much because I don't wanna disappoint anyone. So I'll just work on my stories privately and once I have something to share, I'll inform you 😊
So, yeah, that's it guys! I'm glad to be back with another chapter and hopefully, there won't be such a long wait anymore! I really wish this won't happen again for multiple reasons. Thank you for cheering me on and letting me know there are such great readers like you. I'll be forever thankful. During this story and after it finishes as well!
If you've enjoyed this chapter, please consider buying me a coffee☕️: https://ko-fi.com/personasintro ♡ Teaser for 59 along with a special unfinished scene (that didn't make it in 58) will be posted there!
goal: 2k notes 🌙
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© 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨 (𝐧𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐝) | 𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭: @kithtaehyung
8K notes · View notes
mariespen · 4 months
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Never Alone ₊✩ˎˊ˗
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rafe x reader angst/comfort ⊹˚.⋆ Summary: Rafe goes to sleep alone after reader doesn't listen to him, but something's missing. Warnings: arguing/yelling, reader being in the wrong, insults and some stronger language
⊹˚.⋆︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵⊹˚.⋆
“I can’t believe this.. I can’t believe you.” Rafe said, pointing an accusatory finger and shaking his head in disappointment.
You stood there, any bit of attitude that you walked in with had left your body the moment you saw the look in his eyes.
“Rafe, I just lost track of time!” You protested, unintentionally sounding whiny.
“You don’t fucking listen!” His voice raised and you stood smaller as he continued his rant, “Everything I say is in and out with you.” His eyes narrowed at your face.
There was only one thing that pushed Rafe off the edge; not listening to what he tells you. Months ago he had told you not to hang out with the pogues. Since then, you’d been sneaking around with them to not piss off your short-tempered boyfriend. 
It’s proving to be true that you also should’ve listened to him when he told you to be ready for a gala by 6pm sharp tonight. The Cameron family was being honored at the country club for being generous contributors after a particularly large donation made by Rafe’s father.  Of course, you found yourself adventuring with the pogues, stained with dirt and very far from home at 6pm. 
According to him, Rafe had been covering for you all night, saying that you had the flu and wouldn’t be able to make it. Your arrival was heavily anticipated because your grandfather was a big name in the country club. In turn, Rafe needed you there to make conversation and for a good excuse to leave early. He was beyond livid when he stormed into the house at 9pm and realized that you still weren’t home. When you finally tried to sneak into the bedroom thirty minutes later, praying Rafe was still away and racking your brain for believable excuses, he was waiting with an angry red face.
It didn’t help your case at all when Rafe saw JJ Maybank and Kiara Carrera driving away from his house.
“Rafe m’sorry-'' you tried to apologize again, but he cut you off.
“I don’t care!” He stared at you for a moment, taking in your expression before starting again, “Jesus, s’like you’re a child.” he mumbled, ready to end the night angry.
Until you rolled your eyes right as he turned around to face you again.
“Rolling your eyes at me, hm?” He said, the anger coming back into his tone, “y’know what? If you want to hang out with those assholes so bad, go on. S’where you belong.” He said, his tone biting into you as he turned again.
Tears welled in your eyes. You knew Rafe had brought you this kook lifestyle when you were struggling after your mother left the island. You thanked him for two weeks after you moved in with him, then the two of you didn’t speak about it. It’s been a year since then and this was the first time he had brought it up. You didn't think he'd hold it above you.
A sob escaped the confines of your throat when he slammed the door behind him. You let your body crumble, crying into your hands. He had barely let you get a word out and you hated him for it. You knew you were in the wrong, but his words kicked you in the gut.
You picked your own sobbing body up, quieting down and making your way to change from your dirty clothes. You could hear Rafe’s pacing steps and occasional annoyed sighs from downstairs. After wiping the dirt off of your body and getting changed, you laid in the huge bed the two of you shared, trying to distract yourself. You already knew that Rafe planned to sleep in a guest room downstairs and you told yourself it was fine. 
An hour passed and turned into two, the clock ticking as you eventually watched three hours pass. You were restless, just like how you always were without Rafe. You both couldn’t sleep without the other’s company. You were going to lay awake all night until a soft knock on the door sounded around the room and an exhausted Rafe tried to quietly walk in. You sat up, looking at his hooded eyes.
“Rafe, I’m so sorry..” You took in a breath as you prepared to spit all of your reasons out at once.
“No, m’sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.” He breathed out, sitting on the bed next to you.
“No, Rafe. I was irresponsible, baby please.. please forgive me.” You whispered your last words, tears forming again, “I’ll listen. I promise I’ll listen.”
“Shh baby..” He cooed, laying down and holding you to him, “we can talk in the morning. Js need you..” He muttered.
You meekly smiled into him, happy to know that his soft spot for you hadn’t worn thin.
“I love you.” You whispered into his chest, but the only response you got back were his small snores.
⊹˚.⋆︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵⊹˚.⋆
2K notes · View notes
vanteguccir · 4 months
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Lovestruck boy | Matt Sturniolo
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Matt Sturniolo x reader
Summary: Where Nick and Chris are trying to record wednesday's video, but Matt's lovestruck gaze keeps going to Y/N, distracting himself.
Warning: None.
Requested?: Yes, from anon.
Author's note: That is my work, I DON'T authorize any plagiarism! | English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if there's any grammar error.
༻✦༺  ༻✧༺ ༻✦༺
"Matt! Hellooo, is anyone there?" Nick spoke from behind the camera while moving his arms around exasperatedly, looking at his brother, who had his eyes focused on the couch in the back of the room.
Matt is the kind of guy that when he loves, he loves hard.
So to say that Matt was crazy about Y/N was an understatement, all that was on his mind day and night was his girlfriend; His days were happier with her by his side, he felt like he had more energy and strength to do anything, only because of her.
His favorite thing in the world was seeing her happy, so his heart warmed every time he heard her talking about the books she was reading with so much passion and affection - so much so that he lost count of how many times he took her to the bookstore and bought more than 100 dollars in books, just to be able to hear her talk about the characters that Matt never memorized the names of and the story that always made she speak too quickly and with so much devotion.
Whenever Matt was with his brothers or friends, he would mention his girl. It was automatic, everything reminded him of her. He was obsessed. With all that said, it was inevitable that, being in the same room, the boy wouldn't be able to take his eyes off her.
The theme of that Wednesday's video was something suggested by Y/N herself, as just a few minutes ago the four of them were lying on the sofa in the living room, the girl with her feet on Matt's lap while starting a new book, while the brothers watched old videos of themselves on television.
His hands caressed the tops of her feet covered in fluffy Iron Man socks, which she had probably stolen from his side of the drawer. Every now and then Matt's right hand would go up her legs to Y/N's left hand, taking it away from the book and to his mouth, sealing the warm, soft skin with love, keeping his eyes on the TV screen.
A smile grew on Matt's face every time his brothers made vomiting sounds, calling them disgusting. While Y/N felt like her cheeks could explode from how red they became.
Matt's teenage voice coming from the videos made Y/N's heart warm, and seeing the silly smiles on the triplets' faces as they traveled through the land of nostalgia made an idea pop into the girl's head, who instantly put down the book and paused the video, catching the attention of them.
And this takes us to the current moment, after Y/N has separated some pictures from when they were children, teenagers or nowadays on Nick's phone, having created an album to be used in that specific video.
Matt and Chris were sitting at the kitchen table, facing the camera, Nick - who was standing behind it with the album open on his phone -, and consequently also facing the sofa, where Y/N was sitting comfortably as she flipped through her book, a smile appearing every now and then on her face as her expressions changed according to the events in the story.
A cup of cappuccino that Matt made for her rested on her legs, keeping her warm, while her right hand came out of the book every now and then and picked up the drink, taking a sip.
It was the third time that Nick caught Matt's attention, who seemed to get lost in his girlfriend's figure, and all external sounds, including his brothers' voices, became muffled.
To disguise it, the boy would randomly guess the name of one of his brothers or himself when Nick showed a small part of a picture, getting it wrong almost every time. This led to him having the lowest score.
"What? Yes, that's Chris." Matt blinked his eyes quickly, looking away from Y/N and to the phone in Nick's hands.
"Matt, it's you!" Nick exclaimed, rolling his eyes and sighing, he knew the video would continue like this if he didn't get Y/N out of the room, but his best friend looked too comfortable on the couch.
"Pay attention, dumbass." Chris slammed the palm of his left hand against Matt's forehead, earning a slap back on the arm.
Y/N lifted her head from the book momentarily, holding back a laugh as she saw the brothers fighting, rolling her eyes playfully before returning her attention to the story, adjusting her position on the couch.
"I'm sorry, I'll pay attention. I promise." Matt raised his hands in surrender, swallowing hard as he glanced briefly at Y/N and saw her laughing softly, returning his eyes to his older brother and forcing himself to keep them there.
"For those of you who aren't understanding, Y/N is sitting on the couch reading, and Matt can't stop looking at her. He's obsessed, I swear." Nick muttered behind the camera, shaking his head even though they couldn't see him.
When the first round ended, Chris got up and took Nick's place behind the camera, agreeing to be the next to show the pictures and be the jury.
Nick handed him the phone and sat down next to Matt, looking briefly at the couch and closing his lips in a thin line at Y/N's wide eyes at the book, probably surprised by some absurd scene.
The oldest looked at Matt, seeing that his brother was already looking at Y/N, too. Their eyes quickly met when Matt felt Nick looking at him, a laugh escaping both of their mouths.
"Are you ready?" Chris asked after choosing the first picture he would use, receiving a nod from the two brothers, who had both arms on the table so they could reach the "button" faster.
The youngest zoomed in on the pic and turned the screen towards the two, waiting for one of them to get it right.
Matt had never moved so fast, his left hand slamming against the post-it too hard as his eyes were wide in euphoria.
"It's me! Look at Y/N's hand there." Matt shouted in excitement, raising his right hand and pointing at the phone behind the camera.
"Yeah, that's Matt." Nick sighed, knowing that even though he got it right too, Matt spoke first. "You only got it right because Y/N is in the picture!"
"Obviously, he knows Y/N's traits more than he knows his own." Chris scoffed from behind the camera, zooming out of the image and looking for the next one.
The picture in question was from a day when the four of them went out to dinner at an Italian restaurant about a year ago, Nick and Chris were sitting on one side of the table and Y/N and Matt on the other. Matt had his elbows resting on the wooden table and his hands crossed, laughter escaping his lips when he heard something Chris said, while Y/N joined him in laughing, her hands crossed around his right bicep and her head resting on his covered shoulder.
The pic was taken by Nick, being the passionate photographer that he was, and Chris felt a smile stretch across his face as he remembered the moment.
Even though they made fun of their brother so much for being a crazy in love for Y/N, they felt their chest fill with joy for their brother every time they saw them together. They knew that their brother had found his other half, and seeing him as happy as ever made them just as happy.
"I know, he's obsessed with her." Nick commented again, receiving a slap on the back of his head, letting out a laugh when he saw Matt roll his eyes, but don't deny anything.
The girl looked up again when she heard her name being said by one of the boys and her person being mentioned more than once. Her eyes met Matt's blue ones, who looked at her with love and affection, an easy smile appearing on his face almost automatically.
Y/N smiled back, blowing a kiss, which the boy pretended to catch with his left hand and keep in the pocket of his hoodie.
When the round changed again, it was Matt's turn to stand behind the camera and choose the pictures.
The boy got up from his seat, fixing his pants and walking over to where Chris was, taking the phone from his hand and closing the last picture chosen by the youngest.
His thumb scrolled across the screen, looking for the first one he would use as he let his brothers settle down.
A smile stretched across Matt's face as he passed by a picture of Nick and Y/N, where they were both wearing sunglasses, with feathers around their necks and making faces at the camera. Nick had his left hand raised showing a peace sign, and it was there that Matt decided to zoom in, but not before lingering his eyes for a few seconds on the full image, admiring his girlfriend there.
Matt took advantage of the fact that his brothers were in a silly argument and turned around momentarily, looking at his girl, who was now in a position that in his head was probably very uncomfortable, but he already knew that for Y/N, the most different positions were the best.
The girl felt eyes on her and looked up, seeing Matt standing there admiring her. A reddish color took over her cheeks, and her fingers played with the pages of the book, trying to hide her shyness.
Matt nodded briefly at the book as if asking her how the story was going. Y/N smiled at the action, making a chief kiss gesture with her right hand while her left held the book open, afraid of losing the page she stopped at.
"I want to hear all abo-" Matt began in a low voice, just for Y/N to hear, but his sentence was cut by a hand hitting the table.
"I'm going to get Y/N out of the room if you don't turn around now and do your job." Nick said, crossing his arms. Chris held back his laughter beside him, his face turning red from the force he exerted in the action.
"You're so unnecessary." Matt rolled his eyes, throwing a wink at Y/N, who had a goofy smile, before turning to face his brothers again.
"No, you are." Nick responded, opening his mouth to argue against Matt again, only to be stopped by Chris, who smacked his left arm while laughing.
"Go ahead, Matt." The youngest asked, straightening up and clearing his throat, looking at his brother as he waited for the first picture.
Nick sent a bored look to Y/N, who was still watching them intently. The girl laughed softly, turning her attention back to the book as she felt her heart warm.
Y/N felt so grateful for her boyfriend and his brothers, who she saw as family. She would never forget the day Nick thanked her for how happy she made his brother, but little did he know, it was Matt who made her the happiest.
༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺
Extra - comments:
"Matt looking behind the camera every 2 minutes with a lovestruck look on his face was the cutest thing I've ever seen 😔"
"Matt being able to guess the picture that had Y/N in it just because of her 😭"
"I love how Nick and Chris make fun of Matt for his love for Y/N all the time"
~ "deep down, they love them together more than the couple itself lol"
"I want to have a boyfriend who is as obsessed with me as Matt is with Y/N ​​🧎‍♀️"
"Y/N is a total bookworm, and I'm here for it!"
~ "petition for her to make tiktoks about the books she reads ✏️📄"
"it's incredible to see the difference between Matt before Y/N and Matt during Y/N. She's so good for him 🥺"
"Matt smiles so much when Y/N is near 😫"
"Matt and Y/N >>>>>>> any other famous couple"
༻✦༺  ༻✧༺ ༻✦༺
My asks are always open. Feel free to send requests or anything at all 🩷💋
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vaspider · 6 months
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In defense of retellings & reimaginings
I'm not going to respond to the post that sparked this, because honestly, I don't really feel like getting in an argument, and because it's only vaguely even about the particular story that the other post discussed. The post in question objected to retellings of the Rape of Persephone which changed important elements of the story -- specifically, Persephone's level of agency, whether she was kidnapped, whether she ate seeds out of hunger, and so on. It is permissible, according to this thesis, to 'fill in empty spaces,' but not to change story elements, because 'those were important to the original tellers.' (These are acknowledged paraphrases, and I will launch you into the sun if you nitpick this paragraph.)
I understand why to the person writing that, that perspective is important, and why they -- especially as a self-described devotee of Persephone -- feel like they should proscribe boundaries around the myth. It's a perfectly valid perspective to use when sorting -- for example -- which things you choose to read. If you choose not to read anything which changes the elements which you feel are important, I applaud you.
However, the idea that one should only 'color in missing pieces,' especially when dealing with stories as old, multi-sourced, and fractional as ancient myths, and doing so with the argument that you shouldn't change things because those base elements were important to the people who originally crafted the stories, misses -- in my opinion -- the fundamental reason we tell stories and create myths in the first place.
Forgive me as I get super fucking nerdy about this. I've spent the last several years of my life wrestling with the concept of myths as storytelling devices, universality of myths, and why myths are even important at all as part of writing on something like a dozen books (a bunch of which aren't out yet) for a game centered around mythology. A lot of the stuff I've written has had to wrestle with exactly this concept -- that there is a Sacred Canon which cannot be disrupted, and that any disregard of [specific story elements] is an inexcusable betrayal.
Myths are stories we tell ourselves to understand who we are and what's important to us as individuals, as social groups, and as a society. The elements we utilize or change, those things we choose to include and exclude when telling and retelling a story, tell us what's important to us.
I could sit down and argue over the specific details which change over the -- at minimum -- 1700 years where Persephone/Kore/Proserpina was actively worshiped in Greek and Roman mystery cults, but I actually don't think those variations in specific are very important. What I think is important, however, is both the duration of her cults -- at minimum from 1500 BCE to 200CE -- and the concept that myths are stories we tell ourselves to understand who we are and what's important to us.
The idea that there was one, or even a small handful, of things that were most important to even a large swath of the people who 'originally' told the store of the Rape of Persephone or any other 'foundational' myth of what is broadly considered 'Western Culture,' when those myths were told and retold in active cultic worship for 1700 years... that seems kind of absurd to me on its face. Do we have the same broad cultural values as the original tellers of Beowulf, which is only (heh) between 1k-1.3k years old? How different are our marital traditions, our family traditions, and even our language? We can, at best, make broad statements, and of inclusive necessity, those statements must be broad enough as to lose incredible amounts of specificity. In order to make definitive, specific statements, we must leave out large swaths of the people to whom this story, or any like it, was important.
To move away from the specific story brought up by the poster whose words spun this off, because it really isn't about that story in particular, let's use The Matter of Britain/Arthuriana as our framing for the rest of this discussion. If you ask a random nerd on Tumblr, they'd probably cite a handful of story elements as essential -- though of course which ones they find most essential undoubtedly vary from nerd to nerd -- from the concept that Camelot Always Falls to Gawain and the Green Knight, Percival and the grail, Lancelot and Guinevere...
... but Lancelot/Guinevere and Percival are from Chrétien de Troyes in the 12th century, some ~500 years after Taliesin's first verses. Lancelot doesn't appear as a main character at all before de Troyes, and we can only potentially link him to characters from an 11th century story (Culhwch and Olwen) for which we don't have any extant manuscripts before the 15th century. Gawain's various roles in his numerous appearances are... conflicting characterizations at best.
The point here is not just that 'the things you think are essential parts of the story are not necessarily original,' or that 'there are a lot of different versions of this story over the centuries,' but also 'what you think of as essential is going to come back to that first thesis statement above.' What you find important about The Matter of Britain, and which story elements you think can be altered, filed off or filled in, will depend on what that story needs to tell you about yourself and what's important to you.
Does creating a new incarnation of Arthur in which she is a diasporic lesbian in outer space ruin a story originally about Welsh national identity and chivalric love? Does that disrespect the original stories? How about if Arthur is a 13th century Italian Jew? Does it disrespect the original stories if the author draws deliberate parallels between the seduction of Igerne and the story of David and Bathsheba?
Well. That depends on what's important to you.
Insisting that the core elements of a myth -- whichever elements you believe those to be -- must remain static essentially means 'I want this myth to stagnate and die.' Maybe it's because I am Jewish, and we constantly re-evaluate every word in Torah, over and over again, every single year, or maybe it's because I spend way, way too much time thinking about what's valuable in stories specifically because I write words about these concepts for money, but I don't find these arguments compelling at all, especially not when it comes to core, 'mainstream' mythologies. These are tools in the common toolbox, and everybody has access to them.
More important to me than the idea that these core elements of any given story must remain constant is, to paraphrase Dolly Parton, that a story knows what it is and does it on purpose. Should authors present retellings or reimaginings of the Rape of Persephone or The Matter of Britain which significantly alter historically-known story elements as 'uncovered' myths or present them as 'the real and original' story? Absolutely not. If someone handed me a book in which the new Grail was a limited edition Macklemore Taco Bell Baja Blast cup and told me this comes directly from recently-discovered 6th century writings of Taliesin, I would bonk them on the head with my hardcover The Once & Future King. Of course that's not the case, right?
But the concept of canon, historically, in these foundational myths has not been anything like our concept of canon today. Canon should function like a properly-fitted corset, in that it should support, not constrict, the breath in the story's lungs. If it does otherwise, authors should feel free to discard it in part or in whole.
Concepts of familial duty and the obligation of marriage don't necessarily resonate with modern audiences the way that the concept of self-determination, subversion of unreasonable and unjustified authority, and consent do. That is not what we, as a general society, value now. If the latter values are the values important to the author -- the story that the author needs to tell in order to express who they are individually and culturally and what values are important to them* -- then of course they should retell the story with those changed values. That is the point of myths, and always has been.
Common threads remain -- many of us move away from family support regardless of the consent involved in our relationships, and life can be terrifying when you're suddenly out of the immediate reach and support of your family -- because no matter how different some values are, essential human elements remain in every story. It's scary to be away from your mother for the first time. It's scary to live with someone new, in a new place. It's intimidating to find out that other people think you have a Purpose in life that you need to fulfill. It's hard to negotiate between the needs of your birth family and your chosen family.
None of this, to be clear, is to say that any particular person should feel that they need to read, enjoy, or appreciate any particular retelling, or that it's cool, hip and groovy to misrepresent your reworking of a myth as a 'new secret truth which has always been there.' If you're reworking a myth, be truthful about it, and if somebody told you 'hey did you know that it really -- ' and you ran with that and find out later you were wrong, well, correct the record. It's okay to not want to read or to not enjoy a retelling in which Arthur, Lancelot and Guinevere negotiate a triad and live happily ever after; it's not really okay to say 'you can't do that because you changed a story element which I feel is non-negotiable.' It's okay to say 'I don't think this works because -- ' because part of writing a story is that people are going to have opinions on it. It's kind of weird to say 'you're only allowed to color inside these lines.'
That's not true, and it never has been. Greek myths are not from a closed culture. Roman myths are not sacrosanct. There are plenty of stories which outsiders should leave the hell alone, but Greek and Roman myths are simply not on that list. There is just no world in which you can make an argument that the stories of the Greek and Roman Empires are somehow not open season to the entire English-speaking world. They are the public-est of domain.
You don't have to like what people do with it, but that doesn't make people wrong for writing it, and they certainly don't have to color within the lines you or anyone else draws. Critique how they tell the story, but they haven't committed some sort of cultural treachery by telling the stories which are important to them rather than the stories important to someone 2500 years dead.
****
*These are not the only reasons to tell a story and I am not in any way saying that an author is only permitted to retell a story to express their own values. There are as many reasons to tell a story as there are stories, and I don't really think any reason to create fiction is more or less valid than any other. I am discussing, specifically, the concept of myths as conveyors of essential cultural truths.
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leviathan-supersystem · 3 months
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BEIJING — China’s struggling real estate developers won’t be getting a major bailout, Chinese authorities have indicated, warning that those who “harm the interests of the masses” will be punished.
“For real estate companies that are seriously insolvent and have lost the ability to operate, those that must go bankrupt should go bankrupt, or be restructured, in accordance with the law and market principles,” Ni Hong, Minister of Housing and Urban-Rural Development, said at a press conference Saturday.
“Those who commit acts that harm the interests of the masses will be resolutely investigated and punished in accordance with the law,” he said. “They will be made to pay the due price.”
That’s according to a CNBC translation of his Mandarin-language remarks published in an official transcript of the press conference, held alongside China’s annual parliamentary meetings.
Ni’s comments come as major real estate developers from Evergrande to Country Garden have defaulted on their debt, while plunging new home sales have put future business into question.
In 2020, Beijing cracked down on developers’ high reliance on debt for growth in an attempt to clamp down on property market speculation. But many developers soon ran out of money to finish building apartments, which are typically sold to homebuyers in China ahead of completion. Some buyers stopped paying their mortgages in a boycott.
Authorities have since announced measures to provide some developers with financing. But the national stance on reducing the role of real estate in the economy hasn’t changed.
This year’s annual government gathering has emphasized the country’s focus on investing in and building up high-end manufacturing capabilities. In contrast, the leadership has not mentioned the massive real estate sector as much.
Real estate barely came up during a press conference focused on the economy last week, while Ni was speaking during a meeting that focused on “people’s livelihoods.”
Ni said authorities would promote housing sales and the development of affordable housing, while emphasizing the need to consider the longer term.
Near-term changes in the property sector have a significant impact on China’s overall economy.
Real estate was once about 25% of China’s GDP, when including related sectors such as construction. UBS analysts estimated late last year that property now accounts for about 22% of the economy.
Last week, Premier Li Qiang said in his government work report that in the year ahead, China would “move faster to foster a new development model for real estate.”
“We will scale up the building and supply of government-subsidized housing and improve the basic systems for commodity housing to meet people’s essential need for a home to live in and their different demands for better housing,” an English-language version of the report said.
next time you complain about how things are in America, consider that if you lived in some kind of scary communist country like China, you wouldn't even get to fund a bailout for the real estate company owners who ruined the economy like you can (whether you like it or not) in the good old US of A! 🇺🇲
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bunny-yan · 4 months
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Yandere Duke x Spouse!GN!Reader
TW: mentions rape, mentions violence, language, confinement —
“You’ve changed.” 
It was surprising to hear something other than the sound of cutlery hitting the glass plates you used for meals considering the weeks of silence that filled the dining hall before. 
Finishing the bite of steak, juices running from the meat, you dabbed at your mouth before responding without a glance up. 
“How do you mean, my Lord?”
Your knife worked easily, cutting away the next portion to feast upon. The chef had decided on something heavier since you were trying to put on weight now that the seasons were changing. There would rarely be a need to travel beyond the mansion’s expansive garden now that you were due to experience a freeze. Parties would be halted for the weather to ensure everyone’s safety, the lord of the territory even going so far as to fine anyone found guilty of hosting due to the coming danger. It stifled things, but the mansion was large enough to keep one busy and hidden if need be. 
 “For starters, the way you address me.”
A small smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes appeared on your face as you finally deigned to look into the stern expression on your husband’s face. It hadn’t changed much, but the years you’d spent observing him allowed you to see that this went beyond a cold exterior. No, he was feeling bothered. 
You remembered when the lack of expression used to bother you. You felt as if you lived on eggshells trying to guess your husband’s mood since he never made it clear how he felt about things he considered tedious, but little gestures, a quirk of the lips, gaze drifting off to the side, they were all things you learned to be closer to him. To truly understand the man beneath. You often were proud of your devotion when it helped in your desire to get to know him.
“Is there a problem?” you asked, feigning innocence as you stabbed the next piece of steak. “I’m simply offering the Duke, the respect you have earned through the hardships you’ve faced in acquiring your position.”
There was a twitch in his brow with slightly downturned lips. 
Distaste. 
You didn’t think much of it as you placed the steak in your mouth, making a mental note to give compliments to the chef. He remembered how you liked yours cooked and it was simply divine. 
You felt giddy From his continued silence knowing he couldn’t disagree with you. There wasn’t an issue. As you said, you were acting with the highest respect. What problem could be found there?
“You used to call me by my name.”
You had to stop the surprise that threatened to ruin your unbothered facade at the open confession. He’d usually flounder for something else to say or change the subject. You didn’t expect such a straightforward answer. 
Your response was delayed by another bite and after continuing to avoid eye contact. Assuming that you wouldn’t respond he cleared his throat before continuing.
“You spend more time in the garden.”
Shaking your head, the easy smile was once again plastered to your face as you said, “I wanted to get a chance to see the flowers before the snow comes. There will be little to see then.”
Pursed lips. 
He had more to say, but some things he felt damaged his pride to admit.
“You’ve also gotten lazy,” he said, voice taking an accusing tone. “You spend more time in bed in the mornings rather than seeing to your tasks.”
You could’ve gotten upset, but instead, a small laugh escaped from your lips. 
“My Lord, the time allotted to spend on work for the duchy has not changed. I assure you that everything is being handled according to schedule.”
Again, his lips pursed. With a twitch of his eye, it was a telling sign that he was beginning to get angry. 
There was only so much one could say without truly admitting what was wrong. Did he mention the time you spent in the garden because they were usually trips you took in his company? You couldn’t understand why he’d get so upset. The duration of your walk about the garden, you spoke and he offered little response if any. From the way he resisted the idea, making it out as if you were being a nuisance for forcing him to take breaks in the middle of his work, you couldn’t imagine why it was something he’d get so upset about being excluded from. As for your apparent laziness, coming home from morning meetings with the king, you suppose he found it odd that you no longer waited patiently at the door to greet him when he came back. Considering he barely glanced in your direction, it was again something that shouldn’t have caused him to make a fuss. 
“Are you trying to tell me that this perceived distance is simply a figment of my imagination?”
He never was one to beat around the bush for long. 
“Distance?” you began, again deciding to play innocent. “I’m right next to you, aren’t I, my Lord?”
“You know what I mean,” he said, voice tight as he stabbed a finger into the table. “You aren’t the same. You don’t-” treat me the same, you supposed he would’ve said had he not cut himself off. But he couldn’t mention the way the two of you used to lie in bed together. Talking of nothing when you got bored and decided instead to exist in his company. How could he say that he missed the way your hand would trail from his hair to the nape of his neck, making him feel closer to you with every graze of your skin against his? How was he supposed to reveal that it unnerved him when he didn’t see you every odd hour, having to now make excuses to leave his office since your impromptu hourly visits stopped? The anxious feelings would vanish when he caught sight of you, reassuring himself that nothing was wrong, but it quickly returned the longer he didn’t receive the same attentiveness that he was used to. You no longer sat in his lap to distract him from work or make offers for the two of you to get drunk beyond remembrance after he finished his tasks for the day. Your hands no longer reached for his when you went to bathe. Granted it wasn’t often that you would invite him, but even the weekly requests for his time and affection had stopped. You could sense the frustration building up and so you decided to drop the act in favor of finally talking about the elephant that drove a wedge between the two of you. 
“No, I suppose my behavior is not the same, but please tell me, Duke. Do you think this supposed change happened before or after His Majesty visited?”
His body went rigid and his eyes locked on yours, cold and unyielding. 
“Is that what this is about?” he asked, lighting resentment in you as you struggled to keep your composure. 
“You’ll have to be a little more specific, my Lord.”
Sighing as he pushed a hand through his hair, he leveled your stare with his own as he began softly, “You have to understand that there are certain proclivities that the King has. The partners he brings in to gentle certain urges are customary.”
“And since when was it considered customary for one of those partners to be your spouse?”
You didn’t know how much longer you could contain the rage burning deep inside you as he continued to look at you as if you said nothing worthy of his concern. It took weeks for him to even acknowledge it and that was after you withdrew the affection that he had grown used to. Had grown to miss considering he rarely brought up anything unless it was of immediate detriment to the state of the duchy. 
“Do you have nothing to say?” you asked, voice rising as you lost the control you struggled desperately to maintain.
The memory haunted you. It followed you no matter where you went, no matter what room you fled to. You couldn’t sleep at night without waking in sheer terror and panic that he would be standing at the edge of your bed. Watching you silently like a predator with eyes that felt too familiar for your liking. You couldn’t feel safe, could no longer feel comfortable in what you had called your home. Not when a shadow persistently followed you from room to room. It grew larger as the sun went down and sometimes you struggled to breathe in a room without a light banishing the darkness that threatened to consume you. 
“I understand that event has upset you-”
“Upset me‽” you seethed, cutlery slamming down on the table and making it shake. 
“But that is no excuse for neglecting your matrimonial duty.”
You scoffed. 
“Duty? You speak of duty. And what of yours when you allowed your brother to fuck me?”
You felt yourself explode when he pinched the bridge of his nose. 
“Watch your tone.”
“How could you allow something like that to happen‽ In our home!” Getting to your feet, you fought the wave of dizziness that threatened to overtake you as you pierced him with a glare. 
“I don’t wish to speak of this,” he said, setting his fork down with downturned lips. “Especially when you cannot control yourself enough to have a civil conversation.”
It was just like him to ask you to be civil while discussing something as appalling as what he refused to acknowledge. 
He wanted a civil conversation? Fine. 
Placing your palms on the table to give yourself a chance to expel the overflowing anger, you pinned him with a glare that held more than contempt, more than rage. You didn’t want to admit what you felt, but the longer you looked at the man you’d once felt proud to call your husband, cracks began to form at the edges of your furious exterior. 
“Did you or did you not give your brother permission to have sex with me?”
“You don’t give the King permission. You heed his requests.”
Slamming your hands on the table, you didn’t care that the tactics to calm yourself down hadn’t worked. “Stop arguing semantics with me and answer the fucking question! Did you or did you not let your brother have sex with me?”
“I did.”
Stunned, you almost bit your tongue to keep from lashing out as he finally admitted what had been weighing down on you for so long. It killed you to go about your day as if you hadn’t been subjected to such cruel abandonment. What was worse is that he looked at you as if nothing had changed, as if life could continue, passing off that night, that moment, the single most terrifying happening of your existence, as a normal occurrence. It made you want to scream.
“And do you not see an issue with this?”
“If I did, we wouldn’t be having this conversation right now.”
You bit the inside of your cheek this time. Blood quickly poured into your mouth, but you couldn’t acknowledge it or the pain. Your mind wallowed in your husband’s sangfroid demeanor. 
You knew he wasn’t the most affectionate person in the world, that he often had trouble expressing his emotions, but you could’ve never imagined that he would be so… so uncaring. Especially after all this time. Especially after the lengths that you had gone to to understand him. 
You didn’t know who this cold stranger was. 
Only a stranger could turn a blind eye to their spouse being taken advantage of. Their spouse of eighteen years. To allow something that could only be described as the single, most humiliating experience of your life. 
If you fought or denied him, you’d put your family's name, honor, and lives on the line. The King had been happy to remind you in punctuated grunts, body slick with sweat as he… as he…
You felt yourself get nauseous. 
There was plenty you didn’t have to remember considering you closed your eyes to try and block out what had happened, but blocking one sense only heightened the others. You could still hear his harsh moans scratching across your ears and feel the stubble on his face from when he buried his head in your neck. Smell, taste his breath when-
“I’m going back,” you said suddenly, not knowing whether you spoke to your husband or yourself. Lifting yourself from the table, you tried to hold yourself with trembling legs that threatened to buckle if you didn’t focus on putting strength into them. “My father won’t be happy, but my mother will convince him. I’ll even ask him to consider not asking for you to return the dowry.”
“You aren’t going anywhere. Sit down.”
You couldn’t be here. Not if you were going to forget. Not wake up and experience that awful moment each time you opened your eyes in that bed. Going back to your house at your age would forever be a shame on your name. Others would whisper and assume that the Duke no longer had any interest in the lowly Baron’s child, but you didn’t care. You didn’t care if it hurt your chances to get remarried. You didn’t care if you would never be able to remarry. You couldn’t be here.
Walking towards the entrance hall, you tried to swallow the uneasy feeling as you thought of what you would say to convince your father to take you back. 
The sound of a chair screeching across the floor made you flinch, but you could do nothing as a firm hand closed around your forearm before you were dragged forward. 
“What are you doing?” you questioned, feeling pain when you tried to pull away from his tightening grip. Stumbling after him up the stairs, you felt panic grip you.
The duke had never been a violent man. You’d known of his strength, of his experience and success in battle. You knew he was strong from glimpses of training you watched him engage in, but he wasn’t violent.
He would never-
Being shoved into a room, you fell without him holding you up and your eyes were incredulous as you looked up into his. 
It wasn’t hard to pick up on the fact that he was angry. 
Brows furrowed heavily, the door handle groaned in his fist.
“From the minute your father walked you down the aisle and handed you to me, you became mine to do with as I please. Your behavior is unacceptable. You will remain in this room until it changes.”
He slammed the door closed without another word, leaving you reeling in shock as the sound of the door locking echoed throughout the room. 
The duke was never one to treat you with such little respect. 
He never put his hands on you, only treating you with the utmost care. 
He was hard to read, but he’d never- He wasn’t capable of something like this.
He would never-
He was… a stranger.
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shrenvents · 4 days
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Guard Dog II
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Part one
Warning: minors dni, fluff, smut, fingering, penetration, no protection, language
Pairing: Daryl Dixon x you
Summary: You and Daryl have started seeing each other, but not much has changed between you two. Yet, all you can think about is how much you need it to —need him to touch you, but he hasn’t made a move. Thus, you take charge.
Word count: 1.6k
Though it hasn't been said, flat out, you and Daryl are dating. And although nothing about your dynamic has altered, you’re still fairly certain, you're dating now.
But, the routine is just the same. You go somewhere, Daryl follows. However, nowadays you talk regularly, and he's visibly more comfortable. The others even started to notice your relationship and the changes in Daryl as well. One of which is, according to Eugene, is he seems happier, lighter, like a weight has lifted from his shoulders.
So, how is it that you feel something missing? You guessed a relationship with Daryl would be nothing less than this. But deep down, you expected him to at least touch you. And all you really wanted, was a kiss.
Sometimes, when he's close enough, you feel his warmth radiate over your very being. Sometimes, you sense his touch from when he grabbed your wrist, and held you in his arms weeks ago.
It left you craving more. Perhaps it did for him too...
Various times you swore his hand would hover over your skin, debating whether to reach out to you or not. Other times, he follows you to your house, but never steps foot inside, not since that day. He continuously stops short at your front deck, giving you a prolonged nod for a goodbye.
You’re shy in many ways, as is he, so if things were to change, you figure you have to be the one to take the reins. After all, he did admit to "wanting" you, so what did you have to lose?
Sighing, you open your door, squinting to welcome the blazing sun.
As of late, your mornings consist of this smouldering summer shine, and a mouthwatering, sleeveless Daryl Dixon, leaning against the pillar upholding your porch, waiting for you to wake.
"Morning!" You greet cheerfully. Daryl looks at you, and his scowl instantly softens. "I'm thinking we should do something today, together," you boast, trudging off the porch. "You know, switch up our usual routine somehow." Pausing thoughtfully, you notice how patiently Daryl observes you, waiting for your word, without any interruptions. It almost shocks you how docile he truly is, beneath that dim, tough exterior.
Your eyes explore Alexandria's landscape, catching areas with dull greenery. Your mouth opens in 'ah!'
Daryl appears disquiet and you holler, "Gardening!"
"No," he contradicts, quickly shutting down your idea. You huff, hindering a small smile. "Oh please, it would be fun!" You persuade, "This place needs more character, it's too-" desperately searching for a word, you make Daryl smirk a bit. "Colourless right now," you proclaim.
"And adding some flowers, will make this place look less like a 'dump'?" He mocks plainly.
"I don't think it's a 'dump,' it just needs some," once more, you seek the appropriate word, and Daryl expels a breathy chuckle. "Sprucing," you finish, and he nods with a tiny shake in disbelief. "Let's go!" You shout, heading to a plain field of grass.
"Yes ma'am," Daryl grumbles behind you, and you giggle.
...
The both of you spend hours outside, digging up weeds, replanting flowers, and spreading plant seeds across the lot. The whole ordeal left you both filthy, decorated in dirt. Though it's nothing new for Daryl, you feel pretty disgusting, not to mention 'hideous.'
Engrossed in your obsessive thoughts, you miss the way Daryl longingly watches you. That’s until you feel a plant stem, tuck your hair behind your ear. You spy Daryl’s calloused fingers, gently placing a pink flower there. His pinkie lightly coasts down your locks, to your shoulder.
You peer into his eyes, struck by his tenderness. His dilated pupils hold so much depth, that you get lost in them. So absentmindedly, you shift closer to Daryl.
His eyes roam your face, down to your lips, focusing on them.
A short breath escapes you, heart dropping, and he stands up. Now on his feet, Daryl brushes the grime on his hands in a clap, then lends one out to you. “You’re covered in dirt,” his throat bobs, “Let’s call it a day,” he heaves you upright, “take a shower.” You nod in agreement, kind of discombobulated.
Hand in hand, you silently walk to your house. Once you get there, he retracts his palm from yours and scratches his crown awkwardly. “You’re not coming?” You mumble shyly, and his wide eyes shoot to yours.
You fight to remain calm, staring at him. He licks his lips, once again, looking at your parted ones. “Separate showers, or...?” He asks airily.
“Whatever you want,” replying in a whisper, you slowly back up your steps, intently watching him. He refuses to break eye contact as he follows you inside.
When the door clicks shut, the only audible sound is his breathing, which is more like panting.
“You sure about…?” He trails off, delicately admiring your face. When you faintly mouth a 'yes,' his eyes train to your figure. You leisurely stride towards him.
“You’re so,” before he finishes, you peck his lips. He jerks his jaw moderately, and his gaze struggles to decide, whether to look at your eyes, or your body.
“Touch me,” you practically beg, nudging his abdomen with your knuckles. His sharp breath fans your face, and his expression distorts right before he instinctively, crashes his mouth into yours. Tongues mingling together, he grunts quietly, and you hum a whine in return.
Bodies pressing hard against each other, his hands tangle into your tresses, cupping your head. He rolls his hips rather harshly and you whine louder.
Breaking away with his name on your tongue, you clutch his hand and haul him upstairs.
Reaching the top of the staircase, he hugs you from behind and buries his face into your neck, breathing in like you're his lifeline.
“Daryl,” you sigh then gasp when he suddenly lifts you up. Your toes drag on the floorboards while he sucks on your nape. “Bathroom,” he rasps.
“To your left,” you huff in response, pushing your backside atop his crotch. Daryl just about growls, hastily carrying you into the bathroom.
Putting you down nicely, he forcibly tugs the shower curtain to the side. You spin to look at him and see him surveying you, staring down at your frame like he's in heat. You bite your lip, raising a hand to push away the black hair blocking his eyes.
“Can I?” He asks politely, gesturing to your clothes.
“Yes,” you nearly moan.
Together, you remove each other’s garments, one by one, piece by piece. Eyes equally wandering, to every newly revealed section of flesh. Daryl adorns your naked body and his lip tilts. You lean towards him to turn the shower knob.
The shower head roars, and Daryl tenses when the tips of your breasts graze his chest. “God,” he groans then takes your dome in his hands again, yanking your mouth upwards.
Your fronts fix together, and he palms your ass, reddening the skin there. His hard-on rubs your cunt, and he ambles you both under the flowing stream of water.
“Fuck,” you moan wildly when your spine hits the cool wall.
“Ya feel amazing,” he resounds into your ear, kissing it with a swipe of his tongue. You grind onto him. “Like that baby, again,” he instructs hoarsely, almost pained.
Moving in sync with each other, his cock continuously moves over your clit. You whine his name over and over and scratch your nails down his lower back. You moan out appraisals and smooch a trail from his chin to chest.
His hushed tone chants your name, trying to get your attention. But, when he gets tired of you ignoring him, his digits abruptly slip into you. You instantly cry out, then move in rhythm with his fingers, riding them. He begins to elicit an orgasm, so you pull away from his aggressive kiss. “Wait, I’m gonna cum,” you whimper.
“Good,” he groans with a smirk, trying to capture your mouth again.
“No, no, I wanna cum with you,” you plea, whispering, "on you," barely coherent. His fingers immediately slow and withdraw, at once, replaced by his girthy cock.
You scream a yelp and Daryl releases a lengthy, unreserved, animalistic groan. “So, tight,” his dark voice grates your ears. He cups your breast, playing with its nipple, and you sob while he mutters how badly he needs this.
After a moment of adjusting, Daryl starts thrusting. "Harder!" You express, and his hips lunge into you, untamed and vigorous.
Though his bottom half ruthlessly takes you, his hands and mouth are kind and attentive. His palms glide over your torso, holding you securely, and he kisses your features.
“Daryl, I love it,” you exclaim, then repeat yourself.
“Y-yeah?” He stammers, pinning his forehead to the side of your skull, and you grip his muscular biceps. “Yes, you’re so good.”
He growls your name, pumping even faster, evidently getting closer to his climax.
His hands move to squeeze and spread your ass, and ever-so-slightly, his finger sweeps across your unfilled hole, circling it teasingly. You squeal and huddle into him, and he murmurs something so quietly, that you can hardly hear it.
“What?” You gasp, craning your neck back.
“-fucking love you,” Daryl moans roughly, hoisting up your leg by its thigh.
“Shit.” Pushing into you one last time, he pulls out to cum on your stomach.
Daryl's confession strikes such a cord, that you also cum when he removes himself.
Blanking, you aimlessly watch him stroke himself, and he grits his teeth at the sight of you flushed, and wet.
Eventually, his meaty arms embrace your trembling form, snaking around your curves firmly. And after a short while, you hug him too, burying your face in his sternum.
“Can you, say that again?” You ask meekly, and as if he can hear your smile, he chuckles. “Later,” he pauses to kiss your scalp, “Lemme catch my breath first baby.”
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welcometomyoasis · 2 months
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Being Joshua Hong's passenger princess
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Synopsis: The privileges you have being Joshua’s passenger princess. Joshua x gn! reader | fluff, established relationship | 1.68k words | warnings: car crash, reckless driving, alcohol (you’re drunk not him), slight possessiveness (joshua gets annoyed when people flirt), petnames (darling) A/n: this is my dream honestly… me when? Also uhm I got carried away… 
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❥︎ Being Joshua Hong’s passenger princess means you will be treated like royalty. You’ll be accorded privileges no one else has. You’ll be given the white glove treatment, waited on hand and foot (by him). 
❥︎ Let’s start off by talking about the car itself. The car might be his, but he’s yours so by extension his car is your car? That makes total sense right? In fact, the model he bought was one you said you really liked. You can bet the car has been customised to your wants and needs. 
❥︎ Joshua basically gives you free reign over how you want the car to be decorated. You can be a minimalist and keep his car fairly empty except for some car hooks and necessary car cleaning supplies. Or, you can go crazy and make his car look like a plushie store full of plushies and ornaments. Just make sure he can reach the spare tire easily (duh! So that if he needs he can show off how he knows how to change a tire… he’ll look absolutely gorgeous doing it too)
❥︎ He keeps several items in the car just for you too. There’s a little throw blanket just in case you get cold. There’s an extra pair of sunglasses in the glove compartment just in case the glare from the sun gets too much. There’s even a special headrest or backrest or plush cushion on the passenger seat for your comfort. He goes the extra mile to remove it when the rest of the members sit in his car. The members are messy okay? He doesn’t want your stuff to get dirtied because some member decided to sing karaoke at full volume while drinking coffee. 
❥︎ The height of the head rest and the position of the passenger seat is tailored to suit your height and needs. No one is allowed to adjust your seat. He actually (gently) smacked jeonghan and DK when they tried adjusting the seat.  It’s just too bad if the other members feel uncomfortable. That seat is yours, and yours alone. Actually, you know what? Maybe the members should just sit at the back seat and leave your seat empty… 
❥︎ The same thing happens with the radio. If you like it at a certain channel or have it preset to a certain playlist, no one is allowed to touch the radio. In fact, he’ll keep the music off most of the time so that you’ll be able to start listening to the playlist from where you left off. 
❥︎ Technically, the passenger should be the person who navigates the map. You try your best, but sometimes you get mixed up even with the gps. Joshua never scolds you, he’ll just laugh it off and tell you it’s okay because it’s a new adventure with you. When he’s with the members though, it’s usually poor Dino getting nagged at about how he can’t read a map to save his life. 
❥︎ Obviously, Joshua is going to drive you everywhere, and I mean everywhere. Just because you have the option to take a cab or public transport or drive yourself (if you have a license), doesn’t mean you should have to resort to those options. His schedule be damned, he’ll find a way to make time just for you. 
❥︎ Don’t you dare say you don’t want to trouble him. You might be a troublemaker in your own right, but you’ll never, ever be a bother/ trouble to him. He wants to drive you around. That’s his choice, and his love language. It’s acts of service and quality time all rolled into one. He’s not going to turn down an opportunity to spend time with you. 
❥︎ All you need to do is let him know where you need to be, shoot him a text (he only answers your texts let’s be honest), or call him. He’ll finish up whatever it is he’s doing and then he’s on the way to you. 
❥︎ When he arrives, Joshua, being the menace he is, he will 100% use a bicycle horn to signal his location to you. It’s fun! Plus, he likes the way your face morphs from momentary confusion to recognition and then happiness and love. You’ll quickly turn your head his way. He swears your face lights up (and makes the sun jobless). The way you smile at him and shoot him a wave while bounding over to him like a little bunny? It warms his heart and makes him giddy. 
❥︎ The times he doesn’t use a bicycle horn are the times he either yells out your name or uses the car horn. He does it when you’re in a crowded location, drunk, or when there’s someone flirting with you. You see, in the first two situations, it’s practical to use the car horn. The last one? Oh that’s just him being possessive. He thrives on the disappointment on the other person’s face when they realise you’re taken, and by someone who drives a sleek, well-designed car. Bonus if Joshua gets to get out and pose next to the car while wearing his dark, expensive, sun glasses. He immediately wraps his arm around you and places a kiss on your cheek when you happily run towards him. See that? You’re his. 
❥︎ Being Joshua’s passenger princess means you’ll never have to lift a finger right? So that means he’ll open the door for you. If he can, he’ll get off and open the door on your side like a butler gentlemanly boyfriend would. If he can’t get out, he’ll open the passenger side door from his seat. He always tilts his head upwards and looks at you with that adorable crescent shaped eye smile. Always says “Hi darling! How’s my darling today? I’ve missed you~”
❥︎ When you get in the car, he’s taking your bag/ belongings and helping you to store them at the side or in the back seat. He wants you to be comfortable. He’ll also help you with your seatbelt. He wants you to be safe. He refuses to move unless you’re safely belted up. Who cares if he’s holding up traffic. To him, your safety comes first. 
❥︎ When you’re both on the road, he’s extra careful of reckless drivers because he doesn’t ever want you to get involved in a car crash. His arm instinctively shoots out across your chest/ torso when he needs to brake the car harder than normal, or when you both drive across some car crash at the side of the road. Your safety is the most important thing to him. It’s basically wired into his brain that he needs to protect you from all these horrible reckless drivers. In the event you really get involved in a minor car crash (eg, a fender bender), Joshua’s first instinct is to ask if you’re okay. The damage to his car, and the exchanging of details with the other driver (if they bothered to stick around) isn’t important. You come first. Always. 
❥︎ Moving on from that more serious point. Joshua can and will drive with one hand. He knows the action makes you swoon so he does it on purpose. Also, that means one of his hands is free! Joshua will put one of his hands at the back of your head and lightly stroke your nape. He also likes to either intertwine your hands and have your intertwined hands lay on his thigh, or he likes to have his hands resting on your thigh/ lap. You get the privilege of playing with his fingers and gripping his hand tightly as you continue your journey. He’ll definitely randomly raise your hand to his lips. His eyes never leave the road, so it makes his actions even more attractive.
❥︎ Joshua is definitely the kind who will reverse with one hand with his arm on the passenger side headrest. He like smirking at you when he does that. His actions drive you crazy. You think you’re about to combust every single time. 
❥︎ One of the best things about being Joshua’s passenger princess? You get to watch his side profile. His eyes that are intensely concentrating on the road. The curvature of his nose and lips, the way his hair falls down the side of his face, the piercings he always wears on his ears. Oh even the way he might bite his lip in concentration or tilt his head to stretch his neck. Everything about your view is so delicious. You could have the most beautiful scenery outside and nothing could ever compare to the view you have right next to you. Sometimes you get caught staring and the heat rushes up your face. All Joshua can do is chuckle in adoration. You’re sometimes way too cute for your own good.
❥︎ How does he know? Well, although his eyes are locked on the road, he does take momentary glances in your direction. It’s both a conscious and subconscious thing? People normally subconsciously pay attention to their loved ones even if it doesn’t register in their head that they are doing it. But he does look at you consciously to make sure you know he’s still paying attention to your conversation, he wants to ensure you’re feeling okay, and yes, he wants to catch you in the act when you’re literally drooling over him. 
❥︎ At red lights, he will shift his body to face yours. This menace. This tease. Sometimes he’ll even lean over to place a kiss on your cheek, or he’ll demand you lean towards him to give him a kiss on the cheek. It leads to him getting horned at but were the kisses worth it? Totally.   ❥︎ I’ve covered a lot here, but you know what the best part about being Joshua’s passenger princess? It’s the fact that you’re Joshua’s passenger princess.
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taglist: @weird-bookworm @wonijinjin @babyleostuff @wishing-fieshes @kwanienies @mayashu @megseungmin @porridgesblog @haecien @mirxzii @scoupsofcherries @eightlightstar @brownsugarbaybee @zaggprincess2 @nonononranghaee @hrts4hanniehae @treehouse-mouse @vcutparis
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bakanokiwami · 1 year
Video
TOP 10 ANIMANGA ON FANFICTION.NET BASED ON NUMBER OF FANWORKS (1999-2022)
To make this bar chart race, all series titles in the Anime/Manga Section on November 29 (or the closest date to it) of every year were copy-pasted from Wayback Machine to Google Sheets, rearranged according to number of fanworks, and then inputted to Flourish to turn into a bar chart race.
In 1999-2001, FFN used Anime as a catch-all tag for all anime that didn’t have their own category yet before it was removed in 2002 onwards.
In 1999, fanfiction weren’t divided into sections like Anime/Manga, TV, Books, etc. yet. It was just a small list of mixed fandoms.
Originally, the fanfiction list was sorted alphabetically too, but was changed to number of fics at around early 2013.
By November 2013, FFN started abbreviating numbers above 1,000 to K, so exact numbers aren't available for series with more than 1,000 fanfiction.
Thanks for understanding and hopefully I didn’t mess up anywhere! 🙏
Edit: This bar chart is all made with the assumption that the numbers listed in section are correct. I can't seem to get the same numbers for some for these series when I go to the specific series' page and filter everything to All though... I don't know if I'm missing something or not...
For example, currently, the anime/manga section says Naruto has 439k fics, but going to the Naruto page and filters, ratings and language to All, it says there's only 413k fics. There's also 37.3k crossover fics, but adding would be equal to 450k fics... If anyone can clue me in on how FFN calculates these numbers, I'd be very grateful.🙏
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niniluvsainz · 2 months
Text
sad beautiful tragic ☽ cs55
(5.1k words)
masterlist |
in which... falling out of love was both relieving and terrifying.
carlos sainz x wife!fem!reader
(PLEASE READ) warnings... pregnancy, falling out of love, angst, pregnancy symptoms, baby delivering, carlos is a dad, reader is a mom, no use of y/n, public marriage proposal, yelling, yelling in front of a child, ferrari, how is it a carlos fic without lando norris being the adoptive son, abortion mention, aggressive carlos, slamming hands on surface, slight unwanted pregnancy, divorce, confusing ending bcs its eleven pm and im sleepy, not proofread.
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WHEN YOU AND CARLOS MET, it was unprepared and you were both two naive children. carlos was just jumpstarting his motorsport career, and while he was in england, he met you. it was a small moment, at a nightclub, but the moment he laid eyes on you he knew he had found his person. the spaniard didn't know that night, july ninth, would change his life forever.
you, in your elegant maroon dress, swaying your body to the beats echoing around the small room. he had offered to buy you a drink, and you, already one too many drinks in, could not reject a handsome young man's offer.
you exchanged numbers that same night, and promised to go out one day again. two weeks later, that promise was fulfilled.
"i hope you like sushi," carlos mentioned, opening your side of his car door. you smiled, as you both walked hand-in-hand into the luxurious restaurant.
after hours of getting to know each other over sushi, a few appetizers, and two bottles of wine, you both decided to give the relationship a try. of course, with his career came many different events for carlos to attend around the world, but when he would be back in england, he'd spend all his time with you.
when carlos was called to be promoted into formula one to join the scuderia toro rosso alongside max verstappen, you were the first one he called to deliver the news. the next week, carlos had flown in to england to celebrate with you. you had both celebrated in multiple ways, and in one of those particular occasions, you became pregnant.
the symptoms began lightly, you became dizzy very frequently, and it wasn't until you could not take the sickness anymore that you went for a doctor visit.
when you heard the phrase, congratulations--you are six weeks pregnant, the pit in your stomach enlarged. how would you tell carlos? would he want to be a father? were you ready to be a mother? you didn't know who to tell, you felt alone. your parents were not in the picture, so you were actually and completely alone.
carlos was in italy, preparing for his formula one debut, and he would not be coming to visit you in two weeks. those two weeks were absolute misery, you couldn't pass down food, you'd felt horrible. when carlos arrived in your house, you tried applying makeup to hide the hollowness in your cheeks and how your warm skin tone had faded. however, carlos immediately noticed, including the drastic weight loss on your body.
"amor, what happened?" carlos had concern laced in his tone and features, holding you delicately as he pulled away from the welcome embrace. carlos' eyes scanned over you, as you tried to swallow the breakdown climbing up.
"let's go sit, please." you whispered, motioning to your couch. carlos had a million thoughts run through his head, all leading to different outcomes.
"i'm pregnant; eight weeks." you paused for a few seconds to register carlos' reaction.
being pregnant was not on carlos' mental list.
carlos' body language said it all, according to you. the slight arm hold loosening, his body slightly jerking away, and his eyes--oh, the eyes you grew to love and adore, now you could see the numerous emotions flooding him.
before he could say anything, you spoke first. "listen, i understand if you do not want to keep this baby. but, i made my decision, and i'm keeping it. i'm not going to force you to be in the baby's life, because i understand having a baby right now when the most important part of your career is just about to start--" carlos leaned in and placed his lips on yours. the tears began falling to your cheeks, staining his own.
when he pulled away, he stared deeply into your eyes. "corazon, you just made me become the happiest man alive. i love you." a smile formed on your lips, before you embraced him tightly. you clung to him for dear life, happy and relieved you wouldn't be alone in this after all.
"i can speak with my family, my mother and sisters can help you. but, you would most likely have to move to spain with me." carlos explained, releasing from the hug. "oh," was all you could mutter.
you had never seen past britain, it's always been home to you. but you knew if you wanted help you couldn't do it alone. "wouldn't you think it's kind of weird, that the first time i'm meeting your family it's because i'm pregnant with your child?" you asked, nervousness beginning to bubble in your stomach.
"no," carlos immediately answered. "i was thinking either way of taking you to meet my family during my time here, so they are expecting you, and they're really excited to meet you." carlos reassured. you nodded with a small smile. with one last look, carlos got up and headed to the kitchen.
"what are you going to do?" you asked, facing the direction he walked. carlos began grabbing pans out of your cabinet and multiple ingredients.
"i'm going to make sure my girlfriend and little carlitos are well fed. now, what are you craving?"
when you knew your baby would be on the way, you were actually on a boat with ana and blanca, carlos' sisters. you felt the painful kicks, and immediately told both sisters. the first thing they did was tell the boat to turn back to shore as fast as humanly possible, and then they called carlos, who was with his parents. you don't know how, but you truly believe a higher power was helping you. you blacked out for everything, and it wasn't until you regained consciousness again that you were being given your baby into your arms. carlos was right beside you, staring down at your newborn child. he was crying, just as you were. "it's little carlitos." you whispered, looking up at carlos with a large smile on your face.
carlitos seemed to grow very quickly in your eyes. you were eternally grateful for carlos sr and reyes, for being the most loving grandparents for your baby. they both took you in and treated you just like their own blood, "como una verdadera familia." (like a real family.) ana and blanca became close to you, and were the aunts that would spoil every little dime for carlitos.
carlos, of course, was the best father ever. you will admit, both of you walked into parenthood not knowing almost anything, but with the help of carlos' family, you both learned. you had decided to not yet accompany carlos to his formula one races, as you did not want carlitos out with the media at such a young age. carlos understood your reasoning, but you both were always supporting him by the television screen.
birthday celebrations were surrounded by friends and family, and carlitos was over the moon when he would see all the candy, piñatas, and colorful decor around the backyard of the sainz home.
a few weeks before carlitos turned three, you noticed carlos being very suspicious. you would catch him in his own lies, but decided on not commenting anything. instead, you tried speaking to ana and blanca but they would just divert your concerns to something relating to carlitos, and you would always fall for the trap, because you loved everything about your son.
of course you were not knowing what was about to come when carlos had simply invited you out to dinner. carlitos had stayed with reyes and carlos sr, the couple claiming they were wanting to spend quality time with their grandson.
it was a lovely dinner with carlos, as it had been quite a while since it was you two without carlitos around. your waiter had come to receive the check, but before leaving he informed you two, "there's a live band on the other side of the restaurant if you would like to enjoy some live music." you looked at carlos, a sparkling glint in your eye. carlos chuckled, and he got up from his chair, extending out a hand for you to grab.
you both walked towards the back of the restaurant that would oversee the city of madrid. the band, who was playing soothingly, added to the nice touch where one would stare out to the beautiful city and be able to listen to a calming tune.
“corazón,” carlos said beside you. you turned to look at him, only to see his gorgeous brown eyes staring at you with admiration. you smiled, and carlos cleared his throat before glancing down at the ground. he only looked back up to the band and gave them a slight nod, before getting down on one knee. he reached for his pocket, and you quickly glanced around your surroundings to see clients of the restaurant begin to take notice of what was about to happen in front of them.
the band’s music quieted down; you were sure carlos left them the notice in advance. your lips parted in shock, as you stared down at him. “mi vida, you are the love of my life. you have given me the gift of becoming a father to our son. i love you more than words and actions can describe,” carlos paused for a moment, as he saw you beginning to release tears from the corner of your eyes. he knew you hated ruining your makeup because of crying.
when carlos opened the small box he had put into view a few moments ago and positioned it in front of him to display to you, you felt the entire world stop for this one moment.
carlos said your full name, it sounded quite unnatural since he's only ever called you loving nicknames. "i'm already the happiest man right now, but will you add to that happiness and marry me?"
you nodded your head yes immediately and grabbed both his hands, helping him stand up and leaning in to meet your lips with his. the clapping sound surrounded you both as well as cheering sounds, but you paid no mind as you had everything you've cared for right in front of you.
once separated from the loving kiss, you opened your eyes to see carlos placing the gorgeous engagement ring on your finger, and you looked up as you saw the entire family standing feet away from you two. the tears from your eyes were uncontrollable, your emotions all over the place.
carlitos, only having a few months experienced in walking, wattled over to you and carlos. carlos picked his son up, and you placed a small kiss on carlitos' hand.
the family walked towards your own, congratulating you and carlos. "you knew, didn't you?" you asked blanca and ana. they both giggled, and you shook your head laughing. this is what family was. and you were so unbelievably happy you had won the lottery in that department.
the wedding came months later. it was a beautiful reception. a few of carlos' colleagues in formula one were invited. it was a wedding in december, so you and carlos would have enough time for your honeymoon before he would be back in racing. he was given his biggest opportunity yet in formula one, being promoted to drive in mclaren by the upcoming season.
both you and carlos agreed you wanted to expand your tiny family by adding another member. and by the time carlos had begun his new formula one season, you were already confirmed to be expecting.
being a mother in waiting is not pretty. you had gone through this process once with carlitos, and going through it again one would expect for it to go smoother, but it was just as difficult. this was all motherhood, was your motivation to keep going. for you, your husband, your son and your new baby on the way.
carlitos understood many things, including the fact he was going to become a big brother. when asked if he wanted a brother or a sister, he always answered he wanted "una pequeña hermanita." (a little sister.) you had also encouraged the entire family to speak spanish to carlitos so he would be fluent in both english and spanish.
your second child arrived during a very special event in spain. dia de los muertos (day of the dead.), to be exact. carlos was not with you, as he was halfway across the world in austin, texas.
you were with carlos sr and reyes, and they both took great care of you. ana and blanca took care of carlitos while you were in the hospital. you asked both in-laws to please do not tell carlos, as you thought this could completely flood his mind and he would not do good in the race.
your second child, camilo, was delivered on the second of november. if you were not mistaken, this day was the day of qualifying for carlos. and no way in hell would you ever call him for him to go ballistic and fuck it all up. and that's how it went. carlos did not hear from any of the family for the entire weekend, and even going into the next race. you did not want to tell him over the phone his newborn son was born. you didn't think he would take it so far, but he did.
after the brazilian grand prix, carlos was going back to spain to you. he would have a week and then he would fly to abu dhabi for the final race of the season. camilo was two and a half weeks already, and looked like the carbon copy of carlos. carlitos had more of your own features, but if someone were to definitely see camilo they would immediately recognize carlos sainz jr as the father.
when carlos arrived, you were putting camilo to sleep. carlitos promised to wait for his papi in the living room of your recently purchased family home. you didn't hear when carlos arrived, so when you heard the door of your shared bedroom open and you heard your husband's voice behind you say your name, you were startled and quickly turned around, not forgetting camilo was still in your arms.
"is camilo asleep?" carlitos asked in a hushed whisper. you turned around and placed your newborn son in his crib, before placing his blankets over him, and turning on the baby monitor.
"yes, he just fell asleep." you responded to your son's question. carlos' eyes were burning your skin, and you couldn't dare to look him in the eye. you even flinched when carlos spoke, but not to you.
"campeón, why don't you go to your room, i need to speak with mamá first. and then you can show me your new balón de fútbol." you pursed your lips before carlitos turned his head to look at you for reassurance, which you gave with a small smile and nod, and seconds later carlitos left to his own room happily skipping down the hall.
once carlos was sure his son was out of hearing distance, his attention was brought back to you. "i find out by my son, as soon as i walk through the door, that you had the baby?" carlos asked cautiously. his tone was neutral, but you felt the argument begin to approach. "you didn't even call to let me know?"
you took a deep breath before answering. "i didn't want you to find out over the phone, and you weren't going to be here because of your races."
carlos let out a scoff and rolled his eyes. "i had the right to know was son was born the minute someone had a hold of a phone at that hospital." his tone was aggressive, but not loud to wake up camilo or let carlitos hear.
"i didn't want you to mess up your races because i was having the baby and you wouldn't be around," you tried explaining. if it wasn't for camilo sleeping, carlos would be yelling right now.
"no, i would be flying back because i would want to see my wife and be there for her and for our new child!" carlos began whisper-yelling as he motioned to the sleeping baby behind you.
"i'm--i'm sorry, carlos. i thought i was doing what was best for you--" you were cut off by carlos' following words. "how do you know what's best for me? what's best was, knowing i had a son the second he arrived. i would have come back, and taken care of you and our sons. where the hell did you leave carlitos in all of this?" he asked, his face turning red from the anger he was projecting.
"he stayed with your sisters." you whispered, looking down. carlos nodded his head slowly before scoffing again. "when i could've been there!" he countered. you looked up to meet his gaze. "okay, but it happened! it's over, we can't erase time."
carlos stayed quite for a few moments, as if thinking his thoughts through. the argument was immature; of course on some parts you were wrong by not letting carlos know immediately, but carlos immediately went to argue instead of seeing his newborn baby for the first time.
carlos walked over to you and looked down at the sleeping child. you stared at the small interaction between both father and son, as carlos slowly gave camilo his pointer finger, to which the child, even sleeping, gripped the finger.
"he looks just like you," you whispered, staring between your husband and son. the corner of carlos' lips turned upwards, non-verbally agreeing with your statement.
"i'm sorry for the argument," carlos whispered, as he began carefully caressing camilo's head, which surprisingly had already a lot of hair.
"i should be the one apologizing. i wasn't thinking about anyone but myself in the moment." you muttered. camilo's grip on carlos' finger loosened, and he stepped back from the crib to embrace you into his arms. you hugged back tightly, in the end happy your husband was back with you to complete your growing family.
when the worldwide pandemic came about in the beginning of 2020, you were worried for carlos. worried how exposed he was to the sickness. that was until, the formula one season would be postponed until further notice. therefore, carlos went back to spain and although he was still staying in shape and training for when the season would resume, he also took this time to cherish the family bonding with his wife and two sons.
there were small moments, whether it would be playing fútbol with carlitos, both father and son teaching baby camilo how to play, but a baby can only watch. in carlitos' words, "when camilo is older we can team up and score the goals." you would be cooking, feeding your family, having movie nights, or even sometimes when the children would go to sleep early, you and carlos would cook a dinner for the both of you. it was these moments that made you cherish life.
in may, carlos was in talks with a new formula one team seeking him. carlos had accepted the deal, and it was a family celebration when he announced he would be driving for the scarlet red team next season, scuderia ferrari.
however, because of this, another person joined your family. and not in the way you thought. no, carlos' best friend, lando norris. you had not interacted much with the brit, but he seemed like a very funny guy based on interviews and crazy stories your husband would mention.
what lando norris decided, was that he would stay in your house for about a month before he would depart from his 'best mate.' staying as a house guest would later come to mean having another child and baby-ing him. the stay turned to two months, as lando also stayed to celebrate christmas, before he departed to his family for new years. lando meeting carlitos and camilo was wholesome, the brit would teach carlitos about golf, while camilo --who had began walking when he turned a year old-- would waddle the golf balls back to lando and carlitos, as this was his own way of playing with the two.
by the end of lando's stay, he was exclusively "uncle" or "tio lando" to carlitos. and lando spoiled the hell out of carlitos and camilo for christmas.
the 2021 formula one season brought many changes, one including carlos finally convinced you to attend a race. carlitos was not on your side either, as he has wanted to see his papa driving fast cars. it was three against one (as when camilo was also asked if he wanted to attend a race with carros, he would smile and laugh, which father and son took as a yes). you flew to bahrain with carlos and your two sons, and were actually entertained by everything going on in the paddock. carlos' new teammate, charles leclerc, was in awe of your children. carlos never talked about having a wife or even children, so your family entrance definitely turned heads from all around. you spent most of your time with your children, and sometimes accompanied by charles leclerc's girlfriend, charlotte, who also adored your children from the moment she saw them. your little family was cheering on for carlos in red the entire weekend.
however, as the year went by, you felt a shift. of course, family bonding was still there. you tried to hide it, but you felt a change when you were with your husband. sometimes you shrugged off the feeling, not wanting to think too much about it, but you knew. even if it wasn't spoken, your love for carlos had diminished. you almost felt empty inside at times, and maybe you blamed it on how back to back you had children and now that they're growing you just feel the nostalgia. this is what led you to ask your husband in the middle of the night the question.
"do you want to have another baby?"
carlos had turned his head toward you, staring deeply into your eyes. he held the eye contact for a few moments before responding. "i think we are perfectly well with carlitos and camilo, don't you think?"
"but wouldn't you like another one, carlitos keeps asking for a sister," you chuckled. "and our family will be complete."
"our family's already complete," carlos stated in a tone that projected, the conversation's over.
you nodded with a smile that didn't reach your eyes, before kissing his cheek and bidding goodnight. you turned on your side and closed your eyes, not another word spoken for the night. nights where you two would stay up until the next morning, whether it be to feed or change diapers, lay tangled in each other's arms, or just talk nonsense, too delirious to understand what the other would be speaking about. those nights were now a kiss goodnight, or just laying by each other and not speaking a word at all until you two would fall asleep, centimeters separating you both.
attending the grand prix's became a more regular thing, your boys always happy to be following their father, and you always cheering on your husband.
because carlos' good friend, max verstappen, had won his first world championship, he invited you both to celebrate. that night, both you and carlos had too much to drink, and weren't thinking of your decisions.
a month later, you're pregnant again.
carlos said he did not want another child, but what did you want? it was an innocent child's life, one who didn't even have an opportunity to see and experience the world.
you decided on telling carlos over dinner (the good thing is that tradition hasn't ended yet), and you were terrified to see his reaction.
"when did you find out?" carlos asked, taking a sip of his wine. "earlier this morning, i went to the doctor." you answered, trying to rub the sweat off your palms on your pants. "she said i was a month in."
of course, the night of max's celebration. that's the most recent time you have had sex, and before that it had been almost eight.
"i know you said you didn't want another baby, but carlos--" you were cut off by your husband slightly slamming his hands on the table, making you flinch. "you're pregnant, and now we move on with the pregnancy until the baby is born." he got up from the table and grabbed empty plates and silverware before taking them to the washing sink.
"goodnigtht." carlos said before departing to your shared bedroom. you stayed still in your seat, processing what you heard. one thing you were sure of, this baby was not wanted by its father.
the news was later given to your sons that they would become big brothers soon. carlitos jumped up and down in excitement, while camilo, still learning to understand words, only smiled widely.
nine months later, and you had a baby girl. carlos, someway between seven and eight months into the pregnancy, was deciding on girl names. you had chipped in that you wanted a 'c' name, as both your sons had one, so it would be neat if your daughter also had one. after much thought and debating, you both settled for carla. carlos sr and reyes helped calm the debate.
luckily, carlos was home for carla's birth. carlitos and camilo were with their grandparents, but carlitos had insisted he wanted to see his little sister before anyone.
when you and carlos arrived with carla back home, carlitos immediately wanted to hold her, while camilo was staring at her like she was an alien.
over time, carlos and you continued to try to make the family functional. but it started crumbling down, and you knew it was a matter of time.
your daughter was more difficult than how carlitos and camilo had been, so at some instances in the middle of the night carlos would get up from the bed while you were feeding carla and go sleep in the guest bedroom.
you took carla to the paddock earlier in age than you did with your sons. carlos insisted you accompany him, and to bring the entire family. you didn't want to, as carla was still small. but carlos begged and insisted.
the beginning of the 2023 year did not go as you thought it would. you tried hard, you really did, to keep your family in one stand. but carlos wasn't helping.
you tried showing you were a happy family to your children, because you did not want them to go through what you did. which is what made your parents divorce and leave you in the middle of it. you did not want that for your family.
your routine was now: wake up, feed the kids, do chores, feed the kids again, maybe go visit reyes and carlos sr, and if carlos was home take the kids to play, go to sleep. no more traditions, no more nothing.
you weren't happy anymore. you saw carlos wasn't either. it was just routine at this point.
when carlos got the call he was no longer driving at ferrari, he isolated himself. he didn't speak to you, he ignored the children, even his parents. you would be folding laundry and he'd come out of the guest room (which was now declared his) to see if there was food. you would just start cooking after you finished laundry, but he wasn't patient.
"the food isn't ready?!" he would ask agitated. you swallowed hard, not wanting to cry and seem weak. "i'll get started on it in a bit, let me just finish folding these clothes and--"
you would stop speaking because he would grab a jacket and the car keys, and leave without another word. carlitos would be the one to come out of his room, and ask if you were okay.
"yes, i am. dad just went for a pizza." you smiled. carlitos would jump in delight, before running to tell his siblings in the other room. you would grab your phone and order pizza delivery.
2024 was the year you were just exhausted. and the last turning point was after carla's second birthday party. you had both agreed to celebrate her birthday a week before, as carlos would be in baku for a race weekend on her actual day.
the whole day, carlos didn't show up. he didn't show up to his daughter's birthday at all. when you called numerous times, it would send to voicemail. you asked ana and blanca, even his parents, to contact him. it was carlos sr who he answered to. he was training, not even knowing his daughter was waiting for him.
when carlos arrived home well after the party had ended, you didn't direct a word to him.
carlos called out your name. "look, i'm sorry, okay?" you stopped washing the dishes and scoffed looking his way.
"you are apologizing to me? it's your daughter you dissapointed!" you yelled. you knew the children would hear, but that wasn't your current thought process at the moment.
"and i'm just, i'm sick of it all! i'm sick of excuses, i'm sick of you pushing me away, i'm sick of not being good enough for anything anymore!" you aggressively wiped your hands on a towel, before wiping your tear-filled eyes.
"what do you want me to do? be happy when i'm clearly not? fake a happy family when it's far from that?" the last statement was like a puncture to your breaking heart.
all you wanted, was a happy and loving family. you had it for a while, but now that was over. and maybe if you wanted to continue being happy, you had to step away this time.
"i can't be with you anymore." you spit out. carlos widened his eyes, your statement hitting him like a rock. "what?" he managed to blurt out.
"i can't pretend to be a happy family anymore. i won't."
your lawyer grabbed your arm lightly. "hey, are you okay?" he asked, snapping you out of your thoughts. you blinked and nodded your head.
the judge had decided both you and carlos would share custody of your children. two weeks, they would be with you, the other two carlos would have them. you and carlos would still interact and would need to have 'family bonding' once every month with the children. carla would be the only exception, as until she is five years old she would be able to stay with carlos.
it would be hard learning outside a life you had always known, but you had your children to motivate you. you had supporters, who at the end of the day were your family.
it was a sad, beautiful, tragic love story. one you learned, cried, and were both happy and sad in.
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author's note: OH MY GOSH. anyways hope y'all like it mwah. as inspo i was listening to sad beautiful tragic, all too well, tolerate it, and you're not sorry. i definitely prefer smau better than written fics, so expect more of those soonnnn
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aita for calling out someone for being manipulative towards a trans friend? Names have been changed for privacy reasons and TLDR at the end because this is long.
I (24f) am cis but have had a lot of trans friends (binary, nonbinary, and neopronoun) throughout the years and am very supportive so i take this very seriously. So I met this girl my first year in college (we were 18 at the time) and we became friends. We're polar opposites, she talks a lot and I don't, she parties a lot and I like to do more sophisticated things, she's a typical extrovert basically, and I'm more introverted. Anne (24f) was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. I don't know when, she just told me this years ago. I've seen tiktoks about bpd and researched Google about bpd a little so I know all about how they have fave persons and will "mimic" people in the friend group and become clingy, manipulate, etc. I've seen pics of her in high school, noticed that she was a theater kid, she said she was good at acting and even said she thinks her bpd helped with her acting although I'm not sure how, but she said she only joined the theater club because a boy she had a crush on was in theater. That should've been my first red flag but I was naive. She has a degree in something else (not theater) because our second year in college her favorite character in a TV show did a certain job, she got interested in that, and now she also does that as a living. She doesn't talk about her bpd, she's only mentioned it a handful of times. I can count on one hand how many times. And I get it because she said someone once told her people with bpd should be sterilized and not be allowed near children. Which is really messed up and I hate that someone said that.
However on with the situation. One of our friends Mike (25m) is a trans man. We met him four years ago. He's very handsome, broody, introverted, intelligent, great listener, very accepting and understanding, similar to me but opposite to her. Now we didn't know he was trans until two years ago, because I asked him on a date and he turned me down, and when I asked why he told me that he was mostly T4T and only viewed me as a friend. We were like woah you're trans, okay that's cool, etc. He explained that he was lucky enough to get on puberty blockers and transition young etc which is why he passes. I said okay I'm not trans and you're mostly T4T fair enough.
Well last year Anne suddenly tells us that she is trans too. She says she's bigender. She says she is okay with either she her or he him because she feels like a man and a woman at the same time. Some days she's a woman, some days she's a man, and some days she's both, according to her. She says she does not like they them pronouns. Suddenly her and Mike are spending all this extra time together. Last month he confided in me that he thinks he's in love with her, after years of him only seeing her as a friend, and then they started officially dating.
Here's the problem: she has not changed her outward appearance, her name, started any kind of medical stuff, joined any groups, bought a binder etc. We all continue to call her she and her because she fully presents as female and doesn't have a problem with it. Also she's very effeminate in body language, the way she talks, etc. I know technically I could call her a he or a him, too, but she never asks me to or corrects people when they call her she because well technically she is a she too. Mike is the only one who uses he and him pronouns with her as often as she and her, but she has never thanked him. It really feels like she's saying she's trans and then going about her life exactly as a cis woman simply to convince Mike to date her.
First off, Anne and Mike are NOT compatible. She likes to party, smoke weed, talks a lot, I'm not sure how she graduated with such good grades or why she does so well in her job because she is honestly a LOT to handle and I'm saying that as nice as possible. Mike would never touch weed or go to clubs and he says he would be fine staying home while she does those things but how could you trust someone to party while high and not hook up with others? I've seen her make out with five people in one night at a frat party. They also had wildly different childhoods, such as she grew up in a conservative community and doesn't speak to her family, and he grew up in a liberal area and is close with his family. But more importantly she has a history of joining theater because she had a crush on someone in theater (plus she admits she is good at acting, so maybe she is acting now?) and getting a degree and job in a field because a favorite fictional character did that and now this? It feels like she was attracted to him, found out he usually dates other trans people, and found a way to continue being cis but claim to be trans without having to do anything trans related, basically mimicing her favorite person. As soon as they met they hit it off, or should I say she clung to him and pretended to have the same likes and dislikes whenever they were alone I assume.
It sounds terrible I know, which is why I discussed this with a group chat first that neither of them are in, and the group chat not only agreed that she is far too "obnoxious" for him (those were NOT my words!) but that she is faking being trans in an attempt to make him fall in love with her (which seems to be working.) I would NEVER have gone further without making sure with them first. So then a few of the people in my group chat and I held an intervention with Anne alone. The six of us (the others don't live close enough to come) met up with Anne at her place and told her what she was doing was wrong and gross and that she needed to get help for her bpd and to stop catfishing Mike. She didn't take well to what was said, which I anticipated, but she went crazy. She was screaming at us, insulting us, sobbing while yelling etc, literally said if we ever contacted her again she would call the cops, so we left.
I immediately called Mike before she could and asked him to meet me at a restaurant nearby and that it was very important. Since Mike doesn't know anyone in the group chat I went alone and I explained EVERYTHING before she could gaslight and manipulate him even further. He left, did not finish or pay for his food. I messaged him several times, but a few hours later he texted me to never to speak to him again, and then blocked me on everything. I showed up to his house and Anne was there. Mike said if I ever contacted him again he would get a restraining order on me so I left. I've discussed this with the group chat and now suddenly half of them changed their mind and don't want to talk about it anymore. Several of them left the group chat. Not only that but several of my friends who know either Mike or Anne or both have blocked me on everything. When I've tried to contact these friends through other means and explain everything, they either didn't respond or said for me never to contact them again because I was being transphobic. Listen I know under NORMAL circumstances you shouldn't question when someone comes out but this is NOT a normal situation, and now I am concerned Anne is unsafe for Mike but also an unsafe person to know, as she literally is trying to destroy my life because I called her out on some seriously messed up and abusive behavior.
TLDR am I the asshole for trying to protect my trans friend from a potential stalker?
What are these acronyms?
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dinogoofymutated · 1 month
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Uhhh, so can I request something about Wolverine where both he and reader have a crush on each other but he won't show it and she is too afraid of rejection to confess, however, when Xavier sends reader to talk to Wolverine about their mission, she walks into his room and finds him top topless which only frustrates her more and leads to Logan noticing that and taking his chances to check her feelings 😓 Ahem you can make it NSFW according to the last thing I implied to 👀 hopefully this is not too out of character but I really crave any content about this man 😓😓😓
Also excuse my language if there are any mistakes, English us not my first language 🫡
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SFW! Wolverine/GN!Reader
This is such a good prompt!! I hope this does justice for your vision!! Also- don't worry, your English is very good!! Hope it's okay that I implied NSFW instead of wrote it out explicitly. I didn't quite have the energy to get that far 😭
TWs: not many. Miscommunication. Reader written while picturing Fem! But no pronouns mentioned.
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Anyone around the mansion could tell that something weird was going on between you and Logan.
You were always really jumpy and nervous around him. You'd squirm and fiddle with your hands when sat next to him, looking like you'd rather be anywhere else. You could be quick to lose your temper at him sometimes and you clearly dreaded training sessions with him. Most people just thought you hated the man, but the one time Jean had seen a peak into your mind she certainly knew the truth. The professor probably knew too, to be honest.
You were hopelessly pining for the man- But you'd never, ever confess to him. He was in love with Jean. He had been in love with Jean for years. There was no chance he ever had feelings for you. So- instead of facing these feelings, you had a bad tendency to run from them. Being around him made you jittery and nervous, sitting next to him made your heart beat crazily and you had a short temper with him because he was always running headfirst into danger. It didn't matter that he had a healing factor, you didn't like that he was endangering himself like that.
Logan, on the other hand, was always stoic. He treated you like any other X-man or friend. It didn't matter how his heart fluttered around you or the heat that rose to his cheeks every time you did something particularly attractive, he wasn't exactly an expert in love. He certainly had a hard time showing it. What he did notice though, was the change in your demeanor lately. You had been acting so strange, and it's gotten to the point where you'd straight up leave the room when he would enter, and he was frustrated. Logan was starting to get fed up with your newfound attitude, and despite Jean's gentle nudging, he certainly wasn't going to tell you what he felt for you. What he thought about you. If anything, It would give you more of a reason to hate him.
You had been successfully avoiding Logan for a while, having been in a particularly good mood today. That was until the professor pulled you aside and asked- well, told you to brief Logan about the upcoming mission. Your heart immediately dropped into your stomach. You, alone with him? In the same room? The professor was tasking you to dive into your own personal hell- and there was no way he didn't know that! All he did when you began to complain and make excuses was smile knowingly at you.
You swore that you had dissociated the entire time you had been walking to his room. You didn't want to do this. You didn't want to be here, you didn't want to talk to him. Nope! You were absolutely dreading it.
You Knock three times. After a second of silence, you already find yourself overthinking your knock. Was it too loud? Too quiet? Maybe he could already smell it was you, and is just ignoring the knock so he doesn't have to look at your stupid flushed face-
"Come in." Okay, So, not that. You open his door slowly, not wanting to seem too eager to enter. You're looking down at the paperwork the entire time, mouth already running with the time of day everyone would be leaving, Which suits to wear, where you were going. You don't even look up until after the door has already been shut.
"There's a few more factors that need to be taken account of when we manage to get a better survey of the location but-" You yelp when you look up, greeted by a shirtless Logan, clothed only by a low-hanging pair of gray sweatpants. You're quick to cover your eyes, face burning from a mixture of embarrassment and... well, something else.
"For the love of god, Logan!" You gasp. You can hear Logan chuckle at your reaction, and the action lights a spark of anger inside of you.
"The least you can do is be decent when you invite me in!" You snap at him. He huffs a little at the change of tone, meanwhile you're trying your absolute best to forget how you practically saw everything in those sweatpants. You hear him take a few steps forwards until he's standing so close you can feel the heat from his body.
"So what? You've patched me up before. It's not like you've never seen me naked." Logan sounds annoyed, and you feel guilty for your reaction for a moment. You sigh, shaking your head.
"That's different." You say. Logan hums.
"Is it really?" His tone is teasing, and you almost feel humiliated. He's making fun of you. Of course he was. You were absolutely hopeless.
"Look, Just forget it. Take the damn papers and read the brief yourself." Your eyes are still closed as you slam the papers into what you think is his chest and try to turn to leave, but Logan grabs your arm. He doesn't even try to pick them up as he grabs the top of your arms, keeping you from running away as he walks you backwards.
"Look, I get that I'm not the easiest guy to get along with, but ya' never had a problem with me before. What's happened?" Logan's words start out rough, but if you didn't know any better you'd think that there was a little vulnerability leaking into his tone. You gasp as the surface of the cold door hits your back. You keep your eyes firmly shut, still not willing to open them and look at him. You didn't want to see his face, worried that you'd blush even more or he'd manage to figure it out- if he hadn't already. He'd just make fun of you. He wouldn't take you seriously. Would he?
"Nothing. Nothing has happened, happy?" You say, nerves creeping into your unsteady voice. It's hardly a lie, nothing really happened, but Logan had a habit of stiffing out dishonesty. He growls, and the sound makes your skin prickle.
"Don't lie to me. You can hardly look me in the eye." Logan growls. You scoff at him.
"That's not true!" A blatant lie, and you were sure it was obvious. Still, part of you was hoping he'd simply let it go. You should have known better, because everyone under the sun knew that Logan was one of the most stubborn men on the planet
"Prove it. Look at me." His words make you hesitate. You frown, not wanting to give in. Unstoppable force meets unmovable object- but with every push you feel your nerves start to go shot. You were anxious, flustered, worried- you just wanted it to all be over. If you just opened your eyes, it would all be over.
"Open your eyes, doll." You can feel Logan's breath fan across your face, and in the mix of shock, you finally open your eyes. Logan is so close to your face you can feel his breathing. You hardly know where to look, face flushing red as you blush as the close-contact. You get nervous when you make eye contact, gaze flittering about from his nose, to his ears, his sideburns, and to his lips. You must have let your eyes linger there for a little too long, because Logan starts to chuckle at you. You feel the sting of embarrassment. Logan sees something in your face shift, and knowing you'd just pull away again, he takes a shot in the dark.
Logan kisses you, and you have no clue how to respond to that at first. You go wide-eyed for a moment, but his hands let go of your arms and wrap around you and you cant help but melt into the kiss. He's a good kisser. I mean, with years of experience, you knew he would be. But getting to experience that yourself gave you a whole new perspective to it. He cups the back of your neck as he draws you in for another kiss, again and again. You're breathing hard when the two of you finally separate, Logan being mostly unbothered besides a small smile and a red tint to his cheeks.
"All that drama, and it's because you had feelings f'me. Heh." -is the first thing he says. You gasp, offended.
"Oh-shut up. S'not like you're any better than I am." You frown, sliding a hand around the back of his neck to yank him closer. "Seriously, you weren't exactly dropping hints." Logan chuckles again, Before hooking his hands under your thighs, hoisting you up and against him. You yelp as he does so, getting flustered when you realize that you could now feel everything that you had been trying to forget seeing earlier.
"I'm kissing you now, aren't I?"
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