#i cant find The poem im thinking about that just straight up turns into a list of traits the sun has like four lines in

[soaringsearingphoenix]

Valentine's Day Asks: The Prime Numbers

Wow! I dont know why i didnt see the notification for this one but ok, alright ah

1. do you have a crush on anyone?

I guess so? There are people who Stand Out to me and i call them crushes in my head sometimes but mostly I just want to be friends with them. Like I dont usually get dizzying sweeps of emotion for someone, physical or romantic, but I do get an urgent and baseless desire to hang out with them... maybe take a walk or invite them to get ice cream. So like if we’re on the same page about what I call a Crush on my emotional scale then yes. Theres a couple people.

2. what’s your favorite candy?

I like lemonheads and i will eat them until im sick of them if given half a chance. I also like snickers now because theres peanuts in it so i get to pretend im making a healthy choice

3. favorite love song?

Slow Boat To China, any version but specifically sung by Bette Midler and Barry Manilow. You know, like, just the corniest possible version? Partly for nostalgia, because it was one of like three CDs i remember my mom playing all the time when we were just kind of around the house when I was little. It also has the distinction of being the first duet I learned the words to (though as far as im aware none of my friends know the lyrics... i dont think ive ever actually sung it with someone) and it’s probably gotta be the one that gets stuck in my head the most. Right down to the dumb banter in the middle (“Bette, I didn’t know you felt that way about me.” “I don’t. I need a piano player.”)

I also like “Somewhere Beyond The Sea.” I think, as a general rule, that if there are boats in the words to a love song I will probably like it.

5. what was your last kiss like?

Meaningful

7. do you prefer poems or love letters?

Ahhhhhhhhhh to read or to write? I like writing poems because I think they’re... easier honestly? Writing is so hard, identifying your feelings is hard. Having some constraints makes writing easier, and a rhyme and cadence makes it flow. Besides, it’s more musical that way so I think for me it feels like a more natural expression of love. I do well with more structured expression, and not so much with making just raw, unrefined feelings known.

Not to say writing poetry is easy. It’s less difficult than a love letter, sure, but there are still potential pitfalls. If i make a metaphor that makes me think of science, the rest of the poem WILL be just an extension of the metaphor that gets more and more didactic until I’m just telling you science facts.

11. dinner dates or brunch dates?

Dinner dates. I decided that before i came up with a reason why. I think the reason is that an evening engagement means I have something to look forward to, or be nervous about but then i have time to mentally prepare myself. Whereas morning, even if it’s not “early” morning, I feel more stressed about getting there on time and then afterwards theres a whole rest of the day where i either have to get somewhere after, or its just this unstructured uncertainty. Dinner, youve already done the rest of the day, so you can be present without worrying about what you gotta get to after.

13. favorite perfume/cologne?

I... dont know that ive ever noticed a perfume or cologne and felt it was applied tastefully, because i think if it is insubtle it defeats the point. That said, if it’s actually well applied so that it’s less an overwhelming cloud that trails comically behind people you pass in the quad and more like when someone sits down right next to you om the couch and you get just a hint of their shampoo or conditioner, to the point where maybe you didnt even consciously notice it before but now you say “oh, you’re the reason ive been craving ice cream, you smell minty” if it was only that subtle then i think im generally fond of more smoky incense-y smells like sandalwood, or roses but i am picky about rose fragrances, so it has to actually smell just like fresh roses or i wont be able to overlook that the smell is not roses. I have this friend who went to my middle school, and we were very into scents and making potpourri and things. At the time, his grandma had a hand soap that smelled exactly like roses, it was delightful and he said as much and I said that it sounded amazing but I’d have to take his word for it, but then the next time he visited her he came back with a little jar of it for me just so i could smell it, and he was right, it smelled just like roses. Actually forget the roses, it will make me think of the hand soap and as lovely as that is I dont want to give anyone vying for my affection any reason to feel like they’re in competition with someone, or something. It’s not a competition. Learn to coexist with my memories, because you’re not going to fight my nostalgia and win.

17. what’s the most attractive thing a person could wear?

If you’re wearing something knit or embroidered that you made yourself Im definitely gonna want to talk to you. Also if you’re wearing really comfy looking cargo pants but thats probably because i want to know where you got them so i can get some for me.

19. snow, rain, or sun?

Sun because people will take a walk with me

23. what’s your dream wedding like?

Dont have one but if i did its in a forest or at least a grove of trees. Mostly small gathering, family and close friends. I have a dress for the vows i guess, just because ive seen a lot of Say Yes to the Dress so thats how ive generally pictured it, (which i only really do when im watching Say Yes to the Dress), but ive got comfortable shoes, and im gonna change into pants asap after. We probably do some corny thing thats kind of an inside joke. Each of us has a Best Man or equivalent, who carries a sword — we joke that this makes it a “traditional” wedding, though beyond that it’s really not meant to be. It’s mostly simple, though maybe have a little extravagance or two, like a chocolate fountain, because how often do you have an excuse to have a chocolate fountain. I tend to wander off from other peoples weddings somewhere in the middle, at some point i just get a little overstimulated, and the amount of people that will likely be invited makes this probable. At the reception, when the families and friends are singing and dancing, i probably quietly excuse myself to my spouse and drift away, finding a spot in a tree where i can still hear the music and the laughter from a distance. I am joined not long after by my spouse (and the thought is strange, and even then i cant quite wrap my mind around that word yet, the commitment it implies) who knows where to look for me, and who perhaps pulls a leaf or two from my hair as they join me on an adjacent branch. We sit quietly together for some time until it seems appropriate to rejoin the festivities, as it is our wedding after all, and the slow dance is coming up, and we will spend some quiet time later when everyone has gone home. It is nice, the dancing, and as tired as we are we still drift around the dance floor among loved ones long into the night.

I dont know if this is like... how i intend my wedding to be. Like i said i didnt have an answer going in. But now that im trying to imagine it, this feels realistic.

29. are you single?

Yup!

31. guitar or piano?

Piano. First of all because i am better at piano than guitar and second because you can do duets on one piano

37. do you like to dance?

Aw hell yeah!! I would call myself an... Inexperienced dancer, but if a song has a good rhythm or even if it doesnt and i am full of energy i WILL be moving and twisting and you ARE welcome to join me

41. favorite soda?

I usually go for lighter ones like orange or sprite. I found Lime fanta at a gas station once that tasted like green jello and it was good but ive only seen it maybe twice ever.

43. favorite ABBA song?

Gimme Gimme Gimme always gets me on my feet, and ive listened to it probably the most because it’s on my “Dates and Times Playlist” (the first line says ‘half past 12’ and then the chorus says ‘after midnight’ so its in with a collection of other midnight songs. Any time i hear any of the others i get this one in my head as well. Thatd just how it is.)

47. do you think about love a lot?

No

#just kidding of course i think about love a lot #but usually its how much i love my friends #apparently my love language is s c r o l l i n g to find old ask memes #long post #long post cw #thanks tho!!! this was fun #as far as my poetry goes #itll be like ‘my darling you light up ny world... like the sun’ #and then its like ‘my world revolves around u like the earth to the sun’ #and then its like ‘i love u for ur warmth... u make me feel alive... of every body around me its u i feel closest to... like the sun’ #and then its like ‘ur light is radiant... hotter than a flame... ‘ something about not being eclipsed because youll still shine through #and at that point im just straight up talking about the sun #i cant find The poem im thinking about that just straight up turns into a list of traits the sun has like four lines in #but i did write a song that i definitely have the lyrics to #and the song is good because i didnt try to write it about a person i went in knowing it was gonna sound like a love song n be about science #actually i mightve wanted to write a love song but i abandoned that right away and changed the beginning i had to fit what i was rly writing

[jiilys]

would u help me out for a second. im in the mood to write for the first time, and i think your style is beautiful. sitting down n actually trying though, im stuck as fuck! i’m realizing that in your dialogue/scenes you’ve got a lot of Little Things. little tiny elements that are subtle & just enough. how are you deciding that lily is building a house of cards at the moment or sirius is sitting in a tree or whatever during a given scene? how do you come up with those ideas for dialogue that are so silly & real & sneakily tender? do you know where it’s going when you begin? any advice for just… starting something?

ps: i appreciate you. you make it look easy & that’s very very cool

This is a lovely question!! Sorry it took me so long to get to it, I didn’t want to get it wrong. Also I’ve included some examples to try and explain what I mean in practise, but it also comes off rather like plugging. tragically this is unavoidable. Anyway, all that being said I have no idea how to advise you about dialogue and coming up with it, I think just listening to people talk helps. Don’t forget contractions, and when in doubt always trust the reader to keep up, real people don’t say perfect or even grammatically correct sentences a lot of the time. We also cut each other off all the time, especially when we’re trying to be funny. Like, here’s an example from warm front:

“He’s not even two. He probably would have thought it was, like, having a lie down or something.”

Harry was laughing now, “A lie down?”

“Yeah, a spontaneous, truck-induced–“

“–Permanent–“ “

–Permanent, lie-down. I’m almost jealous now actually.”

Another thing, but people say um and like or can't speak or cut themselves off, especially when they’re nervous. James when Lily says she loves him for the first time: ‘“Wow,” He breathed, “I’m– wow.” He put both hands on her cheeks and kissed her crazy, abruptly, dumbly. Her head spun.’ He can’t even speak! Dumb boy.

I think natural dialogue sometimes just requires you to read it aloud, which is very embarrassing but ultimately quite useful in trying to figure out whether something sounds normal or not. Use casual words, and try not to go dictionary hunting: if you cant think of the word chances are your character can’t either

In terms of concepts I have no idea, but I do have a few tips. I write all my short one-shots in one document (its called ‘just bad’ lmao) so its easy to start something, write a few lines, and then if it doesnt work just start a new concept, but still have all the old stuff handy. if you feel like you’ve written yourself into a corner its probably because you took a wrong turn earlier, so its just a matter of going back up and figuring out where you turned onto the dead end, or where a line could be funnier and/or sadder and/or more meaningful. Sometimes the bare bones of a decent line is there but you have to work it a little.

In this harry/ginny thing where harry is apologising for all the attention and ginny brushes him off she says:

“It’s nothing,” her voice, all force, “Anyway, it’s more funny than annoying.”

The response went through a few drafts, all variations on the same thing:

(1) “You’re funnier.” [too short, doesn’t make sense, and not really that funny. unholy trinity]

(2) “You make it funny.” Harry said, looking at her for real, “It’s not– you make it like that.” [this could work! I have no idea why I cut this, I think I forgot abt it lmao]

(3) “You’re the funniest person I know, Harry said, sincerely, and Ginny felt her heartbeat all through her, “You make it funny.” [jumping from ‘its more funny than annoying’ to getting this sincere out of nowhere is a little much, even for harry who is famously whipped]

I ended up going with this:

“It’s nothing,” her voice, all force, “Anyway, it’s more funny than annoying.”

“You’re funny.” Harry said, looking at her for real, flustered, “I mean– you make it funny. That’s all you.”

It follows the flow of the conversation and I think the way he says it, ‘you’re funny’ like its obvious, and then being like oh fuck and over-explaining it stumbling a little “I mean– you make it funny. That’s all you.”. You know when you like someone and you say something that gives you away before you can stop yourself? I wanted it to sound like that. Just gotta keep in mind how people behave, we are so stupid a lot of the time, we give ourselves away.

The thing about short stuff i find is implying a lot of history without actually describing a lot of it. I normally do this by having memories come up as almost shards, one second of feeling. You know when you’re in a conversation with someone and they mention someone or a past event, and it rises to the top of your brain, but only for a second? i find sometimes when you’re reading stuff people will try and replay entire memories or events mid-conversation, which is not something you do when you think. You don’t need to replay it beat by beat, you were there! This sounds vague as hell so I’ll try and show you what I mean:

From good crimes: “Petunia is engaged.” Lily’s voice, raw and wrong, “To Vernon. Eliza Hunt told me at the supermarket.” Sudden flashes of Petunia, the only time he’d ever met her, sat in the back of Lily’s twenty-first, pinched and whispering. “Whose Eliza Hunt?” This seems as good a thing to say as any.

pretty on the nose (the phrase ‘sudden flashes’ is pretty so i'll allow it from past me). But see how you don’t need to know how Petunia didnt talk to anyone, how she left early, how she was the odd one out: you don’t need to read all that, you already know because she was sat in the back and because pinched is such a mean verb, spiteful and sharp, you can already imagine how the evening went without me saying so

From my proposal take, after Sirius finds out they’re engaged: Sirius’ grip on his shoulder tightened for one second, still grinning, and James knew what he meant. “I know.” He said, because only Sirius had been there for all of it, when they were fifteen, drunk on Firewhiskey for the first time and James had said I think I’ve fucked it, I think I’ve fucked it but I like her for real.

you don’t need a description of the whole night, what party they were at, who they were with, what they were talking about: the important bit is that Sirius was the first person he told, and that they’re both remembering that at the same moment because they’re soulmates lmao. You know when something big happens for a friend and you feel so full of pride & love that you feel like you’ll burst into confetti?? this needed to feel like that, and you only need a flash for it

I feel like I’ve sort of strayed off from what you asked me, which is really advice on how to start something. I normally start with a line, usually of dialogue, and then try and build from there because dialogue is my thing. You might have a different thing! Some people write from concepts or locations, or an image. i might start with one or a few lines of dialogue, write them down, and then try to build from there. For example for the proposal thing I started from james just saying “Marry me”, which I find more romantic than ‘will you marry me’, purely because it sounds like he simply couldn’t stop himself from saying it, like it rushed out. Another example, this thing started from just “don’t be mad at me” “okay” James agreed instantly, because he is such a sucker for her.

When I write I don’t normally know where I’m going! I normally set out to write something I think is vaguely funny and evokes An Emotion, and then I just play around with stuff until I get there. when I write certain stuff and I have scenes in mind, stuff I want to happen, but I find that if I try to plot it to tightly its not exciting to work on, because sometimes you write a good line by accident, that you hadn’t thought of when you sat down, and you surprise yourself. That is a really nice feeling! i want to maximise that feeling.

'What I mostly try to remember is that writing something down, anything down, is useful. Sometimes you write for a whole night and dont get anything useable, but its like clearing pipes. Sometimes you have to flush through shit to get to the good bits. All the rough stuff, the things you don’t like or didn’t work, you wrote to get you to the stuff that did work. All of the bad shit got you here! It wasn’t a waste, you were working to find the good thing

If I had any tips its just the usual stuff, read! It is annoying how much that helps. Also, and I know this may make you shudder, but reading poetry is useful just because in no other literary or media form is language so important. In comics you have pictures, in novels you have plot and character, in film you all that and cinematography, but in poetry you live and die by how good the words are. If you want recs here’s my poem roundup tag, that I do sometimes, or if you want something just now read this by Anne Carson, which uses words like ‘smashing’, ‘boatwash’, and ‘green’ in the best way possible. Also it has these lines: “Recently having learned to recognize the type of tree called sycamore, / I see them in any forest— / the ones that look harrowed, / in shreds, but / go also / straight up into life,”

I mean, think of a sharper image than that?? It’s not possible. Just try remember to stay true to your characters and that in real life, the little stuff is the big stuff. Little things the people around you do normally show they care more than big speeches, and if you want to show love that’s how to make it feel lived in. You want to build a world! the little stuff is usually the world. Take some from your own or dream the ones you wish you had.

This truly was a very kind message and I’m so grateful you like my stuff, I hope any of this was even half-useful, although now reading it back it is borderline nonsensical. I’m going to bed now, good luck with the writing, and don’t forget to send it to me!!

caro xoxo

#writing bitching #said it already but loved this message it was so thoughtful. seemed pretty articulate to me i think ur writing is gunna be just fine!!! #rooting for you & anyone trying to write something rn. words suck and are difficult! they are also better than drugs & sex. regretable #kindnesses

[f2pain]

Think you can make hcs abt my team? It's Xiao, Venti, Kazuha and Sayu. ;)))

one night kazuha us just minding his own business, wandering around liyue because he doesnt really want to be on the ship with a dozen plus snoring sailors, whenever xiao appears in front of him and asks wtf hes doing wandering around like this

eventually the interrogation turns into a pleasant chat and the next thing they know its sunrise and they both have to get going

because of this, whenever xiao hears that kazuha is heading back to inazuma, he goes too

ventis in inazuma to make sure that all the visions that got stolen are returned to their owners and maybe even hand out some new ones

while theyre all wandering through the woods they get captured by sayu, who wants to help kazuha because hes still technically a criminal and she was promised some good coin if she did this job

out of everyone, xiao finds kazuha the most tolerable and makes sure to remind venti how annoying he is

whenever hes mad with the team venti goes ‘I GAVE YOU YOUR VISIONS AND IM NOT SCARED TO TAKE THEM AWAY’ everyone is very confused and venti realizes that huh maybe he shouldnt have said that

whenever xiao is a bit too emo for his taste, venti runs up to him and throws dandelion seeds in his face like confetti

xiao is very surprised that sayu can hide from him pretty well. he isnt sure how to feel about this, but eventually it just makes him that much more determined to find her

venti sings kazuhas poems a lot!!

sayu and kazuha take naps together PLEASE. whenever the other two cant find them they just try and find the nearest warm rock

its become a bit of a contest between venti and sayu to see who can steal xiaos mask the most. right now sayu is winning

everyone thinks that sayus signature dish is absolutely adorable. venti eats it for like a week straight

#anemo gang i like it #i just invented a new agenda: the big bro kazuha agenda #and honestly im here for it #asks #anon #ask game #headcanons #genshin impact #genshin #kaedehara kazuha #venti #xiao #sayu

[seabunnythatlikeshorror]

Okay i cant find the post but i’ll take it as a yes so here:

1: sleep tight don’t let the milf’s bite

2: I sometimes think you’re not neurotypical

3:i can just smell the trauma

4:my queerness could never

5:i can just feel the gay

6:You know how i said “I definitely jinxed it”…yea i did

7:sounds like a crisis…mood

8:In one sentence i somehow made my whole bloodline ashamed of me

9:Dont know if this is supped to be gay or therapy

10:my yawns sound like a quiet chainsaw

11:my dreams are either trauma or gay…what does that mean

12:my dream was amazing filled with zombies but amazing

13:be the gays you need to be

14:i think i ate some soap

15:My brain was somewhat okay and you completely ruined it

16:Okay who do i have to kill this time

17:Yes im using a musical to teach politics

18: think i made a random poem and somehow it got deep

19:What do you not understand about me reading gay shit on webtoon and seeing cute dresses?

20:I will be the monster under your bed i will either comfort you till you sleep or be Jeff the killer

21:Ah yes blackmail the best way to negotiate

22:feel’s like i’ve zoned out while reading this

23:Wheres the TL;DR because i just stopped at Hi!

24:Yea you lost me im in Stratosphere

25:* eats vomit cutely *

26:I still question both of our sanity

27:When they call me baby girl

28: thats stupid bitches tok

29:I mean wouldnt it be cool that your ex is the moon

30:do you even sleep

31:The only people i hate are real people

32:I use the happy emojis all the time they all look dead inside

33:Social anxiety isn’t pog

34:WHOS GONNE GRAB THE BIG ASS COIN OFF HIS FORHEAD

35:MEOWTH SALAD

36:i thought Jessie and James were gay

37:Its called insomnia

38: Hermione is holding me at gun point

39:Is kicking someone a team sport?

40:what part of asl with out sign do you not get

41:kiddo but an insult

42:i was gonne say i watched Luca but damn do you need therapy

43: knew all that trauma would pay off one day

44:imagine not having fangs 🤡

45: being stupid is my job you cant take it from me

46:the whole world hates England

47:okay but arson would be so much fun

48:Do i rly sond like a dog when i say things out loud

49:THEY MADE ME LIVE AND THATS A HATE CRIME ON ME

50:I mean zeus is a whore

51:So we got bad bitch and better bitch making up the baby girl squad

52:Sometimes I challenge how much i can disappoint my ancestors

53:Ghost be judgin while i hit that rennagade

54:Fuck ✨ grammar ✨

55:KNEW YOU WERE A BEAVER

56:Probs an alligator too

57:this blog could always be *cursive rainbow* gayer

58:ah,pintrest my love,my pride,my joy THE FUCKING BANE OF MY EXISTENCE FUCK YOU I FUCKING LOVE YOU AND WANT YOU TO DIE A PAINFUL DEATH

59:✨ alcohol ✨

60:Kiddo go to drugs dont do school

61::i still have trauma from the zebra cardigan

62:yes YES BE THE GAYS YOU NEED TO BE

63:aww thats so gay 🥺

64:hol’ on a god damn fucking second…this shit gay

65:am i turning straight?

66:you broke your fucking plant this better be worth it

67:i have two moods “i wanna die” and ✨gay✨

68:they look like shit but they can look like shit together

69:nice 😏(i never said this or wrote this before just sayin’ its nice)

70:fuck you (affectionate) [is it weird that i said that at least 20 times]

71: fuck you……TAKE MY LIKES

72:we can capitalize off of your dog

73:oh shit i thought that was elsa jumping off of that bridge she made

74:wait are you implying they’re the last non binary orange

75:i might die for the third time now

76:are you god? I mean sans undertale profile pic but still are you god?

77:heh gæ

78:when i sleep i sleep

79:i will not tolerate dead memes in my class room unless its doge

80:he looks so cute but damn do i want to kill him

81:people are just too damn kinky these days

82:so this is what it feels like to have attachment issues

83:But Etida u e-mol-Dionizijo Aguado my beloved

84:I like it just my brains too small to comprehend it

85:shes a sexist feminist in the making

86:i want a mineta x death fic

87:they’ll plan my funeral…add saxobeat

88:a-am i a-a child?!?

89:hey girl you a flashbomb cus you bright

90:hey girl is your gender water cus its fluid

91:Ok im actually proud of that one i better not hear a cricket

92:okay now he looks like an emo boy

93:Yea my will to live is as low as my self esteem

94:can someone plan my funeral yea i know its wedding galore same thing

95:remembering that time i called saiki a tsundere bitch

96:* call me by your name starts playing* NOT AGAIN

97:i may have “i kicked a child” as one of my names but you’re a monster

98:DEATH IS A RACE AND I WANNA WIN

99:Bye :] , wtf?

100:GO CATBOY GO(00:03 am)

101:you know i have a pain tolerance of

102:I kin that emoji

103:That blood stain looks like a pp

104: am i too middle school

105:I feel like my sass level has risen

106:OH! PROCRASTINATION

107:nah i kinda wanna continue to write my raid shadow legends x reader fic

108:plus my confidence is as low as my will to live

109: who wants to have the honour of killing me

110:great mind think alike but also wt

I-

Wow-

#holy malcom #long post #really long post

[alicezan-ncgred]

Bleeding Red

Preface: I’ve been bitching around the bush of this long enough. So, I’ve been really silent on a bunch of stuff that’s been eating me alive which has made me both inactive and unproductive. I’m going to get straight to the point, starting off with the TL:DR from my post on my main blog. Context: An anon asked me if I was alright because I hadn’t updated in a while.

TL:DR You probably didn’t ask this to hear about all the bad shit of my life so here’s the short of it. No, I’m not doing fine. I will try get next weeks post out on time and I’ll work on making up on the lost posts. Updates will return regularly, ‘ite.

Time for the thick and thin of it.

Insecurity and being shafted: I’m stoic, even at my worst I won’t say anything. I’ll push through regardless of my current condition and since I’ve gone years like this, it’s not hard for me to do. In my real life situation, I’m currently in a place of social isolation. This has lead to a somewhat near reliance on Tumblr to be my social outlet. This present many issues.

The main one is that I’m quite the isolationist. This has only been reinforced by many interactions throughout the entirely of my life. Because of this, I can’t say I’ve ever had anything really more than two friends at a time. While in a way this has helped me express myself so well through writing, it’s come at the cost of social skill. I don’t talk to anyone.

With this kind of issue you could easily imagine that the THREE PEOPLE (four now, but very limited) to ever directly talk ended up in a way shafting me. The first blocked and disconnected with me without warning or reason. At this point we’ve been talking to each for about a month and we hit it off very well and then one day, silence. Never heard from them again. That fucked me up hard when I finally realized what happened.

The second person left during the Tumblr P**n Purge. We were talking about how to contact each other on other platforms and then they stopped responding. I had already given contact to other platforms of which they pinged me in any way. Another person that I trusted massively on here just abandoned me and I’m still hurting from that. Wasn’t fair at all.

Then the third person was someone that I been following for a while. This person is actually the reason that I’ve been putting this off for so long. I don’t want them to see this post but they will. I got an ask from them that ultimately turned out to be misinformation. I said I wasn’t mad but I was. I was so fucking angry about it and I’m still kinda mad, but I didn’t want problems. I still don’t. I just didn’t want them to worry about it. This will come back later.

I try my best to be as inoffensive as possible. The problem with that is that much of the things I believe or enjoy are highly divisive. Hell, even my own identity can be seen as offence. I’m bisexual, non-binary (I’m currently still questioning this. I might actually be gender fluid but in the overall scheme, that’s worse than being non-binary), and nonreligious. I’m in a very religious area so you I’m still “in the closet” about much of this IRL. I though it would better online but with how much people are saying bisexuality doesn’t exist, or that non-binary isn’t a valid gender (or that being gender fluid make you insane and you should be locked up) and all the hate people who say they are this are getting, the very community that’s supposed to accept me, HATES me. I had a bi pride flag icon last year during Pride Month. I never doing that ever again. It was terrible.

I’m trying my best to come out of my shell like I said I would when I made this blog but it seems I’m just crawling further into it. People I think I can trust keep setting me up to fall, people I know in real life won’t ever accept my existence if they knew who I really was, and my own mental health problem and self loathing are eating me alive. But that isn’t the total of it.

Crumbling Pillar: I’ve always ended up in the position where things were thrown onto me. In which no one wanted to do, I was stuck with. Because of this not only do I have a severe distaste being around my family (beyond everything mentioned before hand) but I grew to have a negative out look on everything. This effect is still quite obvious in my writings, especially my poems. Out of the 14 poems on my poem blog @washed-soul​, only one has a happy meaning.

The one happy poem was called dreams. Under a metaphor it talks about how a demon kept me trapped in a dark space. I start to get better and nearly break free before I have a negative relapse back to my old ways. The poems ends with the demon putting a end to itself leaving the nightmare in which it was keeping me in to slowly fade away, letting one crack of light peeking through to become a window to a door until one day I walk free. When writing this poem, I never thought I would find myself rebuilding the nightmare but that’s where I am.

I’m done with holding things together that other people have placed onto me. Because of this, issues have began showing in my private life. Issues that should’ve been solved decades ago are only now being addressed. This change in the status quo of my life has caused many issues in my productive and mood. Between everything else I’m too tired to do anything.

Is that a reason, is that an excuse. No it isn’t but it’s the best thing I got as a reason. I’m doing my damnedest to do the best I can but of course, when it comes to the thing that matter I just fall short. Big fucking whopha my intelligence and capability does me if I can’t use it for anything that means a damn.

Meaningless Triviality: I’m a very emotional person. I’m very strongly bound to my emotions and if everything above hasn’t given it away, my emotions are very negative prone. But it just doesn’t stop there, it goes back into my memories. I can only honestly place 3 happy memories for certain that aren’t either A) a dream or B) me escaping reality through my mind. Besides that, almost all my memories are negative. 

People like to throw around the word Nihilist to describe themselves because today's culture is very, god while I hate to use this word, edgy. For those who don’t know a Nihilist is someone who views the world as being completely  meaningless and reject all religious and moral principles. I very truly struggle with this outlook of life. It’s a daily for me to berate myself saying “just kill yourself” or “I want to die” or just shutting down and crumpling up while say “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry” over and over again. Hell, I did that while writing this. 

I take things very hard, even the slightest transgression. I’m so used to trying to make things perfect and because people have the image that I’m the smart one, the mature one, the capable one, I’m left with the over hanging expectation of excellence. Almost no room for margin of error or being human. Since I’m the silent type, I put up no challenge and work to meet it. Only time I get any praise for anything too. 

I guess as a little self promotion to my main blog, for those that have read the very first few updates of my main blog @the-truth-behind-redacted, or read Defiance’s character sheet, while The Machine and Defiance are separate character, they both share the name Machine. That in part is a reflect of said above expectation. How ravenous and inhuman it can be all under the guise of something human. Those characters are the two sides to the same coin. 

Remember how I said I try to be un-problematical and how I try to avoid any potential conflict. In the first segment I told on how I lied about my feelings just so another person didn’t have to worry over something that honestly, in hindsight, wasn’t even really a big deal. But I also said how it consumed me in anger. I just don’t want to bother anyone over anything. It’s part of the reason why I am writing this post, as some way of a self enforced rehab program to get better. 

This absolute consumption of negative emotion has pushed me into a non human state before. I hit a point of absolute mental exhaustion and in such a self enforced bubble of actual hatred I became completely apathetic. I felt numb to everything. I watched and heard of terrible things happening to people, and felt nothing. I watched people lives crumble before them leaving them nowhere to go and LAUGHED. “Just another worthless pathetic worm on this rotting carcass of a planet being hit with the hard reality that life doesn’t care for them. What whimsical pathetic bullshit they deluded themselves with to think otherwise.” This isn’t an exaggeration on how I thought, this is what I actually thought. Which brings me too.

The Mandatory Sob Story: Roll your eyes everyone and get the tiny violin. I guess in order for everyone to exactly understand the place I’m coming from when it comes to mental health I’ll have to detail my experiences. I have a long standing history with mental illness. I have professionally diagnosed OCD, Bipolarism, Anxiety, Chronic Depression, and visual and auditory hallucinations. I take 600 mg of Seroquel a day as well as Amitriptyline when needed. I’m also still currently in therapy to deal with said OCD, Bipolarism, Anxiety, Chronic Depression, the visual and auditory hallucinations, as well as Suicidal thoughts, and my Nihilism. There’s a reason to why I’m so god damn familiar with mental illness and treatment plans.  

OCD and Bipolarism run in my family on my fathers side. My Father’s Father had them, my Sister has them, my brother most likely has them (however he refuses to see a doctor because he uses said possible mental illnesses as a get out of jail free card. He doesn’t want to be treated and he has FUCKING ADMITTED IT), my father has them, and I have them. I, however, have the misfortune of having it real bad. I said yes to well over half of all the total symptoms when I was being tested (I don’t remember exact numbers but I remember there being three pages worth of common symptoms) which was very worrying to the doctor. I was currently in an inpatient hospitalization program at the time for both suicidal thoughts and actions, and severe depression. 

On that, my graze in with suicide. Before I went into my first inpatient program I was contemplating suicide. I was sat in front of a mirror with a bottle of over the counter medication. It was an unopened bottle of ibuprofen, 1000 200mg tables. What I planed to do was down the whole bottle with benadryl and die in my sleep. I had the small box of benadryl got from the Kroger pharmacy and a hand full of ibuprofen poured out looking directly into the mirror. My suicide note was sitting on the desk on my room with an online copy on my laptop open.

I sat there for an hour in the dead of midnight complicating my life. I had lost all hope in the world, filled with hatred, anger, pain, and despair. I had no god or after life to look forward too, part way hoping that a Hell existed for me to burn in. I hated myself that much. I was close to taking the first handful before before I caught a glimpse of my own eyes in the mirror. In what was in a weird sudden epiphany I realized that I truly did become what I hated but not for any reason I told myself. I became the very bastion of negativity I sought to fight and rid of in what little friends I did have. That was what set off my path to recovery in spite of the medical system. I guess if people care I’ll make a separate post on that. 

Before I move on, I feel I should explain my history with the visual and auditory hallucinations. It should be no surprise that with everything else above, I also had extreme paranoia that led to me having very bad insomnia. Insomnia is, just like most other medical disorders like Depression, Self-harm, Anxiety, OCD,  Bipolarism, is romanticized to hell. Insomnia isn’t having one nights bad sleep where you got 5 hours of sleep instead of 8.

You know what Insomnia is? insomnia is being physical incapable of sleeping despite not sleeping in 2 to 3 day while your body suffers massive agony brought on by this. Muscle spasms and seizing, difficulty breathing, your eyes feeling like fire ants are eating them, and of course visual and auditory hallucinations. Now I already had issues with visual and auditory hallucinations even when I could get sleep regularly but the combined effects of my OCD and Bipolarism made this perfect condition of Insomnia, Anxiety, Paranoia, with the already added in disposition to hallucinations and I felt like I was actually losing my mind. 

My hallucinations presented themselves in three forms. Disassociation of reality, night terrors, or alterations of reality. Disassociation of reality often were complete black out moments. I would lose any perceived connect to reality and enter an episode of my mind. I can’t remember what they actually were but I do remember what it felt like. Cold sweats, anxiety to point where if I didn’t lock up I would vomit, actual physical pain, mind numbing fear, and intense fatigue. 

The second were night terrors often in the form of horrific “things.” I do remember these and most of them were as best as I could describe, forms of things that were vaguely human and formations of industrial machinery. The most vivid one I remember was of a long lengthy apparition that was for the most part human but many locations of it’s impossible physiology were rebar beams and mechanical sockets. It began when I was about to fall asleep and it was next to my window. The thing was making week groaning and gasping sounds before it violently slammed against my window breaking it then letting out a horrific howl that I can’t describe as it tossed itself out followed shorty after with the sound of bones breaking against the dirt. 

Now that might not seem so bad, exspecally with everything that is in horror movies or games now, but keep in mind that was fucking real to me. It was as real as the clicking of the keys of my keyboard as I’m writing this. As real as the chair I’m sitting in and as real as the wall in front of me. As far as my mind was concerned that thing, what ever it was, actually existed. It took me physical touching my window to make sure it wasn’t actually broken and checking outside to see if there wasn’t a body there. This isn’t the type of thing I talk about lightly. 

Finally there is the alteration of reality. This is very simply but it’s something that fucked with me hard. For very little meaning or warning, I would have trouble interpreting the world around me. My hearing and sight would be warped and there wasn’t any real way to tell what I was hearing or seeing was real or not until the episode was over. The way I got through these was the ultimate fake it till you make it. Obviously, very often I failed and this created issue in my schooling. 

Ending Message: I’ve been in a very bad state for a while now and as it is now, no signs of getting better. I also strongly believe my medications are being to fail me which I’ve been telling my doctor and therapist for over a year now but nothing’s been done. Mainly it’s my Depression but insomnia episodes are beginning and my own paranoia been on the rise. It’s gotten to the point where I can’t even look at a creepy image or thumbnail without having a very bad episode. 

I’ve managed to eat something today which was nice but my body is cramping hard. And to possible stave of a possible comment, I’m biologically male. Like I said I’m not in the best head space, or living for that matter. If this gets better, only time will tell. 

#Long post #tw: suicide #TW: Depression #Trigger Warning #TW #OCD #Anxiety #Chronic Depression #Bipolar Disorder #Bipolar #Mental Health #My mental health

[seungmin-jpeg]

Stray Kids On Tumblr // Jisung

Chan // Woojin // Minho // Changbin // Hyunjin // Jisung // Felix // Seungmin // Jeongin

One of the few members that actually 

Spent a goooood amount of time on his header

And his desktop theme actually 

Like actually learned how to do some html coding to make his blog nice

Works really hard to keep is blog running smoothly

Doesn’t ever use queue tho

Really isn’t that invested 

Anyways 

He’s had the blog since forever

Like ever

Got on tumblr to destress after school

Then continued to use it to destress after he’s long days of training

he just wanted a nice looking blog

Never really made his own posts 

Like he’d go through phases of posting his own things

Little bits of lyrics and poems and texts and stuff

Nothing to fancy

He’d follow some block b’s zico stuff

Because role models am i right

So he’d be aware of the big kpop side of tumblr

He’d be the type of blogs that would write short-ish pieces 

Where there was no real plot

Not really any characters either 

Just like aesthetic writing

Something that started out as a melody in his head

And he’d take that melody and put it into words and post it

Each person could interpret in their own way

Which is why those types of posts ended up taking off

He’d never really post them to often

Because i mean how often can he just put a melody into words

And then yah know eventually he started putting that towards 3racha and stray kids

But every now and then when he would think of something that wouldn’t ever fit with the two of them

He’d write it down

But this is how he got your attention

You’d followed his blog a bit ago

Probably around the time he was a trainee

You couldn’t really remember how you got there

But once you saw some kpop stuff there

And get even further into his blog

And found his little written bits

You followed him right away

You were always waiting for him to post another little bit of writing

And when he finally did

It was even more amazing then you had expected it to be

And you couldn’t help but to leave an ask

Going on about how great his blog was and how much you loved his writing and just wow

And of course he was like 

Woooooh someone likes me weird brain dumb posts enough to leave an ask like this?? 

And he checks out your blog naturally 

Because of the ask it links him to your main blog

And its pretty normal

He sees a few kpop posts and is like

Hey!!! They’re into kpop!

And then he sees the links in your description

And checks a few of them out 

And then 

Oh and thennnnn

He clicks on the link that leads to your stray kids blog

And his jaw drops

Because what

He’d been on tumblr for so long

But this is one of the first stray kids blogs he’s ever found

Naturally he’s got this huge swelling feeling in his heart

But he’s also just kinda like

Someone who’s a fan of me found my other blog

Somehow

And still likes me??? 

Even without knowing its actually me??? 

Shook

He cant help but follow you

He follows both your main blog

And your sk blog

Because why not

Of course you notice right away

How would you not notice that such an amazing and inspirational blog followed you

AND your stray kids blog at that

Another stray kids fan!!!!

That in itself was exciting

He likes and reblogs a good bit of your stray kids stuff

And your like

Can’t let this moment pass

So you message him and are just kinda like 

“Hey thanks for following me i really love your blog your writing is amazing. Also i see you like stray kids?” 

And thus the start of a beautiful relationship 

Of course you had nooooooo clue you were talking to the Han Jisung of Stray Kids

The j.one of 3racha

Probably for the best

Because you’d actually die if you knew it was him

Also it’d totally be risky for jisung himself

But somehow the two of you keep in contact 

And actually find decent things to talk about

Instead of giving you his name 

Because he’s smart enough to not thank goodness

He just went by his nickname 

“Squirrel” 

And you’re like yes the cutest nickname i love it 

And then moved on

You called him your “squirrel” 

And he somehow ended up calling you his “puppy” 

And thats just how it stayed

Even when you’d tag each other in posts 

He’d use your nickname 

And you’re follows where always ???

Why puppy???

Tbh you didn’t know either but you just went with it 

Not gonna lie you found it super cute 

Made your heart feel all fluttery 

You loved talking with your squirrel

And he really loved talking with you 

But as the survival show got more intense 

And then stray kids debut on the horizon 

And you were kinda ;___;

Because where’s your squirrellll 

Little did you know jisung was missing you a lot too

Anyways one day you were watching a vlive

And a group of the boys were talking about things they miss

And jisung 

Real chill was just like

Oh i miss my puppy

And you were just kinda ???

Cause you didn’t know jisung had a puppy

Felix had clearly been thinking the same thing apparently

Because he were like 

Wait you have a dog???

And he just kinda looked at felix and then glanced at the camera and smiled before turning back to whatever he was doing before

And you couldn’t help but feel ??? that maybe ??? 

Maybe that was about you?? 

But you pushed that thought out real quick

That’s bs there’s no way that had anything to do with you

So you just finished the vlive and went back to scrolling through tumblr

And then  you stumbled across a list of the sk members nicknames 

And oh gosh

Jisungs nickname 

Of course it was 

His nickname was squirrel 

Now everything you had worked so hard to shove down earlier was coming back

And coming back much stronger

Your squirrel wasn’t han jisung right

It couldn’t be

There was absolutely no way it could be

But you couldn’t help it anymore

So you messaged jisung

And just kinda said something like

Hey did you know you and jisung go by the same nickname?? 

And surprisingly faster than usual he messaged you back and was like 

“Yah, isn’t that ironic?!” 

And you’re just kinda like …..

And then you get another message and its like 

“He also really misses his puppy too!” 

And you’re like 

…….

And he just kinda sends you a winky face 

And your like “there’s no way”

You get a “lol” back

At this point you’re 95% sure it is him

So you take a deep breath and say

“You’d tell me if it’s true right?” 

And he says

“Didn’t i already tell you tho?” 

Youre screaming now

Hes pretty much screaming too

“So you’re really him” you send off

“I’ll only answer if you say it for real” 

“But if im wrong that's embarrassing” 

“pup how can you be wrong at this point”

You can practically hear him laughing at you 

“Wouldn’t it be bad for you to have it so straight forward tho? If we keep it like this then technically i dont have any solid evidence its you…” you say

He takes a bit to respond 

“I guess you’re right…” 

And thus you somehow ended up becoming the mom friend to jisung 

Well...friend… the “friend” part is up in the air… 

#straykidznet #sk-writersnet #stray kids #sk #jisung #han jisung #bulleted #kpop scenarios #scenario #stray kids scenarios #jisung scenarios #tumblr au #tumblr!stray kids au #tumblr!jisung #blogger!jisung #writing #mine #fluff #au #stray kids au #jisung au

[meggankathrynn-blog1]

Day 1: My room turned into a ocean. I swear I found fishes and sharks swarming into my lungs. Or maybe that was the remains of you trying not to escape but desperately needing to

Day 2: You weren’t at school today and I should’ve been happy, I was more sad

Day 3: I thought I was ready to move on, then I saw you with her.

Day 4: We haven’t spoken in days now. My mind thinks its being shoved off a cliff.

Day 5: I wish it would just hit the bottom

Day 6: This will be the first weekend we dont hang out. I know you’ll be seeing her and I know youll be smiling without me. I’m trying hard to learn how to too

Day 7: I asked you for help on a history assignment and you replied with “Ask someone else im busy”

Day 8: You posted a video with her on the only social media site you have. When I saw it I erupted. I spewed lava every where, oh god its every where

Day 9: My mum made me sleep next to her. she was afraid I would try and do something like I did 1 year ago when another guy tore up my heart. I actually had thought about it

Day 10: I slept in your sweatshirt one last time so i can feel myself engulfed in you. I know you wanted them back so I had to feel you and smell you one last time.

Day 11: I gave you all of your stuff back and you thought I looked like a warrior but really I went home and tried getting you out of my bloodstream

Day 12: when will my eyes stop flowing?

Day 13: I snuck out with a guy and smoked weed on his couch. He talked about love and how much it hurt. I only pictured you.

Day 14: I woke up next to that same boy and I woke up screaming. The boy was worried and confused but I knew why I screamed. I ran out of his house so fast you’d think Id be better at running from you.

Day 15: Its break and im with my best friend and your with her and i swear i can feel you tracing her spine the way you used to trace mine

Day 16: You said to leave you alone so I ignored you and it felt worse than the puking i did that night

Day 17: Im treading icy water while you’re swimming away from me, I guess I just hope you’ll loop around and find your way back to the shattered, but still there, us

Day 18: I don’t remember the sound of your voice I don’t remember the color of your eyes I don’t remember your the taste of your lips.

Day19: No amount of screaming gets your name out of my head

Day 20: I got on a plane today and when we took off I swear i almost walked to the door and started flying

Day 21: They say it takes 21 days fo break a habit but I think I just manage to fall more in love with a greedy monster

Day 22: I saw you today and had to pretend like I was okay and happy for you. Maybe eventually.

Day 23: Its still a new year and I'm starting to be more myself. i think im beginning to be over you

Day 24: Just kidding

Day 25: i think i understand now. when you first told me you loved me your mouth curled up on the edges, two days before you left when i gave my bare self to you your mouth was a straight line when saying i love you

Day 26: if you’re trying to kill me its working

Day 27: i woke up this morning to my blankets and pillows piled in a corner in my room. its something s ghost would do to make his presence known. im haunting myself. or maybe its the ghost of us tsking over my body

Day 28: its almost been 2 months since you told me it was never me. i almost texted you but i saw those old text messages and just got angry

Day 29: I hate that you act like you didnt break my heart. i hate that you think im fine that im not writing a shit poem sbout your shit personality

Day 30: thirty days since you’ve wanted me. thirty days since i told you i love you. thirty days since you’ve slipped from my fingers. i tried catching you. you’ve been gone far too long. thirty days is too long

Day 31: i had a nightmare last night about you. you told me you loved me and kissed my forehead. i woke up breathing heavily and shaking. i want you out of my life

Day 32: running on no sleep isn’t fun

Day 33: ive been awake for over 50 hours in fear that ill see you in my dreams again. i cant risk that. it hurts so much. get out of my head

Day 34: my mother told me that love will do this. that its cruel and torturous and breaks you into such little pieces not even yourself can pick up all the pieces. you know where they all are, please come back and pick them up

Day 35: i talked to another guy last night we stayed up late and he asked me questions about you. we were sober so it wasn’t easy spitting up vowels and similies and euphemisms explaining the empty feeling in my chest after you left

Day 36: fuck if i stopped seeing you everyday i swear id be over you.

Day 37: my body is still pulled towards yours like it always has been.

Day 38: you told me that you didn't like a lot of things about me. thats not what you said when we were trying not to get caught in the back of your car

Day 39: you told me you’d take me to prom and everyone is preparing. itll just be another day you promised to spend with me. its funny how our plans turned to dust in a matter of seconds after cleaning

Day 40: the thunderstorm of us was inside of you and maybe that why it felt so close. i keep counting the seconds between the boom and light hoping you arent moving away buy i fear that you are already letting others feel your storm. the plants you grew are dying. maybe you should come back to water them

Day 41: ten days since its been a month since you left. i cried at prom because all i could look for in the crowd was you.

Day 42: i got so drunk all i could see was your face. the guy i fucked kept telling me his name wasn’t yours. i just screamed and cried because you’re all i still think about despite your efforts to continue to push me away

Day 43: i should be getting high today but if i do ill just write more and think more about a guy who will never care

Day 44: i think im trying to gain feelings for someone else because it’ll make moving on from you easier. im afraid to write that it hasnt

Day 45: you traces my leg like you used to. it was like dandelion tea. it made my insides fill with happiness. you’re my yellow paint.

Day 46: Van Gogh used to eat yellow paint because he thought it would put happiness inside him. He would consume it everyday in the hopes that it would bring his sadness to rest despite the fact that it could kill him first. i gues you were my yellow paint emphasis on the were. see im not going to write about you anymore, because when i write you down im under the impression that you’ll stay with the words but you don’t. this is the last sentence I’ll ever write about you

[captivatingalyeska]

Day 1: My room turned into a ocean. I swear I found fishes and sharks swarming into my lungs. Or maybe that was the remains of you trying not to escape but desperately needing to

Day 2: You weren’t at school today and I should’ve been happy, I was more sad

Day 3: I thought I was ready to move on, then I saw you with her.

Day 4: We haven’t spoken in days now. My mind thinks its being shoved off a cliff.

Day 5: I wish it would just hit the bottom

Day 6: This will be the first weekend we dont hang out. I know you’ll be seeing her and I know you’ll be smiling without me. I’m trying hard to learn how to too

Day 7: I asked you for help on a history assignment and you replied with “Ask Amber im busy”. I texted back: “Tell Emma I said hi”

Day 8: You posted a video with her on the only social media site you have. When I saw it I erupted. I spewed lava every where, oh god its every where

Day 9: My mom made me sleep next to her on the couch. She was afraid I would try and do something like I did two years ago when another guy tore up my heart. I actually had thought about it

Day 10: I slept in your sweatshirt one last time so I can feel myself engulfed in you. I know you wanted them back so I had to feel you and smell you just once more.

Day 11: I gave you all of your stuff back and you thought I looked like a warrior but really I went home and tried getting you out of my bloodstream

Day 12: When will my eyes stop flowing?

Day 13: I snuck out with a boy and smoked weed on his couch. He talked about love and how much it hurt. I only pictured you.

Day 14: I woke up next to that same boy and I woke up screaming. The boy was worried and confused but I knew why I screamed. I imagined you laying with another girl on your couch. I ran out of his house so fast you'd think Id be better at running from you.

Day 15: It’s spring break and I’m with my best friend and your with her and I swear I can feel you tracing her spine the way you used to trace mine

Day 16: I ignored your birthday and it felt worse than the puking I did that night

Day 17: I’m treading icy water while you’re swimming away searching for warmth. I guess I just hope you’ll loop around and find your way back to the shattered, but still there, us

Day 18: I don’t remember the sound of your voice. I don’t remember the color of your eyes. I don’t remember your the taste of your lips. I can’t feel your hands on mine or on my body. I don’t remember how soft your hair is. I must forget, all of it

Day 19: No amount of screaming gets your name out of my head

Day 20: I got on a plane today and when we took off I swear I almost walked to the door and started flying

Day 21: They say it takes 21 days to break a habit but I think I just manage to fall more in love with a greedy monster

Day 22: I saw you today and wished you a happy late birthday and promised we’d watch the third Hobbit together. I’m beginning to hate myself more

Day 23: Its the end of the month maybe next month won’t be filled with thoughts of you and killing myself. I think I’m beginning to get over you

Day 24: April fools

Day 25: I think I understand now. When you first told me you loved me your mouth curled up on the edges, two days before you left when I gave my bare self to you your mouth was a straight line as you muttered “love you”

Day 26: If you’re trying to kill me it’s working

Day 27: I woke up this morning to my blankets and pillows piled in a corner in my room. It’s something a ghost would do to make his presence known. I’m haunting myself, or maybe its the ghost of us taking over my body

Day 28: It’s almost been a month since you told me it was never me. I almost texted you happy easter but I saw those text messages we last sent and just got angry

Day 29: I hate that you act like you didnt break my heart. I hate that you think I’m fine that I’m not writing a shit poem about your shit personality

Day 30: Thirty days since you’ve wanted me. Thirty days since I told you I love you. Thirty days since you’ve slipped from my fingers. I tried catching you. You’ve been gone far too long. Thirty days is too long

Day 31: I had a nightmare last night about you. You told me you loved me and kissed my forehead. I woke up breathing heavily and shaking. I want you out of my life

Day 32: Running on no sleep isn’t fun

Day 33: I’ve been awake for over 50 hours in fear that I’ll see you in my dreams again. I cant risk that. It hurts so much. Get out of my head

Day 34: My mother told me that love will do this. That its cruel and torturous and breaks you into such little pieces not even she can pick them all up. You know where they all are, please come back and pick them up

Day 35: I talked to another guy last night we stayed up late and he asked me questions about you. We were sober so it wasn’t easy spitting up vowels and similies and euphemisms explaining the empty feeling in my chest after you left

Day 36: Fuck if i stopped seeing you everyday I swear I’d be over you.

Day 37: My knee didnt touch your leg like it used it I promise I didnt do that fuck

Day 38: You told me that the wrinkles on my leg bothered you when I sat down. That’s not what you said when we were trying not to get caught in the back of your car

Day 39: You told me you’d take me to prom and in two days it’ll just be another day you promised to spend with me. It’s funny how our plans turned to dust in a matter of seconds after cleaning

Day 40: The thunderstorm of us was inside of you and maybe that’s why it felt so close. I keep counting the seconds between the boom and light hoping you arent moving away but I fear that you are already letting others feel your storm. The plants you grew are dying, maybe you should come back to water them

Day 41: Ten days since its been a month since you left. I cried at prom because all I could look for in the crowd was you.

Day 42: I got so drunk all I could see was your face. The guy I fucked kept telling me his name wasn’t yours. I cant even scream and cry anymore, I’m burnt out. You’re all I still think about despite your efforts to continue to push me away

Day 43: I should be getting high today but if I do I’ll just write more shitty poems and think more about a shitty guy who will never care

Day 44: I think I’m trying to gain feelings for someone else because it’ll make moving on from you easier. I’m afraid to write that it hasn’t

Day 45: You traced my leg like you used to. It was like dandelion tea. It made my insides fill with happiness, you’re my yellow paint.

Day 46: Van Gogh used to eat yellow paint because he thought it would put happiness inside him. He would consume it everyday in the hopes that it would bring his sadness to rest despite the fact that it could kill him first. I guess you were my yellow paint, emphasis on the were. See, I’m not going to write about you anymore, because when I write you down I’m under the impression that you’ll stay with the words but you don’t. This is the last sentence I’ll ever write about you

#poetry #poem #book #excerpt from a story i'll never write #excerpt from a book i'll never write #story #day #miss you #im done #vegan #vegetarian #lesbian #bisexual #girlswhokissgirls #girlswholikegirls #hippie #hippy #hippychick #hippylife #10 word poem #10 word story #6 word poetry #6 word poem #6 word story

[princeandreis]

Lmao do them all

LMAO OKAY

1. Are looks important in a relationship? I mean only a little
2. Are relationships ever worth it?yes?? maybe?? I’ve never been in a relationship
3. Are you a virgin?yes (saving myself for marriage)
4. Are you in a relationship?no
5. Are you in love?nO
6. Are you single this year?yes
7. Can you commit to one person?anyone who can’t is fucking trash
8. Describe your crushcurrently I don’t have one but there is always ben platt (he’s jewish)
9. Describe your perfect matesense of humor i cant even stress this enough like not having one is a complete and utter dealbreaker
10. Do you believe in love at first sight?no
11. Do you ever want to get married?yes
12. Do you forgive betrayal?well sort of… I eventually move past it but my trust is all gone
13. Do you get jealous easily?no
14. Do you have a crush on anyone?not right now
15. Do you have any piercings?my earlobes
16. Do you have any tattoos?no
17. Do you like kissing in public?it makes me uncomfortable when I see others making out but I probably wouldn’t mind
20. Do you shower every day?more or less (if I don’t get sweaty sometimes I won’t)
21. Do you think someone has feelings for you?probably not
22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?my guy friend maybe
23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?like I said, anyone who can’t is fucking trash
24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?no lmfao
25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year?yes
26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?no, not romantically at least (otherwise, my mom more or less)
27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you?no
28. Have you ever been cheated on?no
29. Have you ever cheated on someone?no and that’s never ever ever ever ever going to happen, not ever
30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body?well, I have but I wouldn’t ever do it. I’m just insecure about how my tummy looks but the solution to that is eating better
31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl?hell yea all the time
32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love?yes (unrequited crushing I guess lol?)
33. Have you ever had sex with a man?no
34. Have you ever had sex with a woman?no
35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?no
36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends?yes (it was terrible)
37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?I don’t think so
38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?hell yea
39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?YES
40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone?yes
41. Have you had sex so far this year?nope
42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander?I haven’t ever actually kissed anyone
43. How long was your longest relationship?I haven’t had a relationship yet
44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?1 if you count being 11 and being forced to call it “special friends"
45. How many people did you kiss in 2011?0
46. How many times did you have sex last year?0
47. How old are you?I’m turning 17 in a week
48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?"Oh, okay” probably
49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her?lol
50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?m a y be???????
51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for?uhh… no, I don’t think so (I’m a really willing and sacrificial friend but all my friends have taken advantage / aren’t good friends)
52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why?plenty of boys romantically, just because they were into somebody else or I realized we weren’t right together. and I’ve given up on trusting all of my friends except 1
53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?no
54. Is there someone you will never forget?I hope I forget these losers after I graduate. but I made a few really treasured friends at a conference this summer; I think they’ll always be in my heart
55. Share a relationship story.if u wanna hear about my 5th grade relationship then hmu because hoo boy do I have stories
56. State 8 facts about your bodyI’m extremely strong; I weigh a lot more than any girls I know; I have bunions which I’m hoping to get fixed; I’ve never needed braces; my mom tells me I have nice long nailbeds; I have pretty thick thighs; my vertical jump is pretty good; I have blue eyes
57. Things you want to say to an exI still talk to my fifth-grade ex all the time and we good
58. What are five ways to win your heart?be musical; be sincere; show me you’re trustworthy; be funny; be athletic
59. What do you look like? (Post a picture!)if u really want to know, I think I have like one pic under #my face so check that out I guess
60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners?I was a month older than my fifth grade boyf
61. What is the first thing you notice in someone?hair or eyes
62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you?im not answering that
63. What is your definition of “having sex”?bye
64. What is your definition of cheating?if you would have to justify it to your current boyfriend or girlfriend you’re probably cheating (unless they’re insane)
65. What is your favourite foreplay routine?no
66. What is your favourite roleplay?nope
67. What is your idea of the perfect date?I’m pretty good with anything, except I’ve never been on a date. probably dinner and just talking
68. What is your sexual orientation?straight
69. What turns you off?people I can’t trust like I can’t even stress that enough; people who boss me around that don’t have a right to, like my peers; people who are arrogant; people who have 0 confidence in themselves
70. What turns you on?somebody actually having feelings for me
71. What was your kinkiest wet dream?I think I dreamed about calum hood’s dick once, it was really weird 0/10 would not recommend
72. What words do you like to hear during sex?once again, a virgin trying not to think about that kind of thing til I’m married
73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you?support me when I’m upset and rub my hair and back
74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for?probably biceps haha (it’s by no means a must-have but like… if ya got em… hot damn)
75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you?Jesus Christ saved my life but besides that my friend baked me a cake that said “BIRTH” like that tumblr post and brought it to my house on my birthday last year
76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone?when my friend turned 16 I got her 16 little presents as reasons we’re friends
77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships?as an adult, half your age plus 7 is the lowest you can go generally; but since I’m a teenager it’s kind of up in the air
78. What’s your dirtiest secret?im not putting that on the internet
79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why?it’s ongoing; a bunch of freshmen made varsity volleyball ahead of me and I’m a junior and feel like I belong on varsity
80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?i tell my mom and dad I love them a lot so this morning i think
81. Who are five people you find attractive?ben platt; aaron tveit; ben stiller; young matthew perry; and james franco I guess
82. Who is the last person you hugged?I think my dad
83. Who was your first kiss with?lol
84. Why did your last relationship fail?he was clingy but like… we were 11
85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet?NO

#ask #answered #fly-like-a-grayson #about me #ask meme

[brownthrussy]

1-85

Wade you got me fucked up smfh jk

1.) Are looks important in a relationship?:To some extent yes, since its kinda a attention grabbed. Eventually the personality is what becomes more important.

2.) Are relationships ever worth it?:Most are, as long as they’re healthy, but some are better off ending.

3.) Are you a virgin?:I hope my mom doesn’t see, but no. If my mom ever sees this then hell yeah I am lmao.

4.) Are you in a relationship?:Surprisingly yes

5.) Are you in love?:Considering my lack of love interests and mainly unhealthy relationships surrounding me, its hard to tell for myself but I believe I am yeah

6.) Are you single this year?:Jeez I hope not lol

7.) Can you commit to one person?:Yes.8.) Describe your crush:Hmm normal lenght hair, dark eyes, average height and thicc

9.) Describe your perfect mate:Sounds similar to 8 but I guess someone I can be comfortable and relate with.

10.) Do you believe in love at first sight?:No lmao im pretty sure thats a crush.

11.) Do you ever want to get married?:It’d be nice someday so sure lol

12.) Do you forgive betrayal?:Depends on the situation and how the person thats asking for forgiveness acts. If they learned their lesson and understand what they did wrong then I could forgive possibly but if not then no.

13.) Do you get jealous easy?:No lol its cause im bad at taking hints so I cant tell when someones hitting on me or el bae

14.) Do you have a crush on anyone?: Mi novio lol

15.) Do you have any piercings?:Nope lol

16.) Do you have any tattoos?:Nah lol

17.) Do you like kissing in public?:Nah lol i dont like being the center of attention

ERROR: 18 and 19 DOESN’T FUCKING EXIST??

.

20.) Do you shower everyday?:Si

21.) Do you think someone has feelings for you?: Well I hope my bf likes me lmao

22.) Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?: hmm its possible so sure lol

23.) Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?: Well i’ve been doing it so yeah lol

.

24.) Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?: i don’t think so but hey who knows what future me will do lol

25.) Do you want to be in a relationship this year?: i want to keep it so yes lol

26.) Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?: Si

27.) Has someone ever written a song or poem for you?: Not that I know of lol

28.) Have you ever been cheated on?: Officially no, but I had a few suspicions from my ex so it wouldn’t surprise me

29.) Have you ever cheated on someone?: No

30.) Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body?: I’m ok really lol

31.) Have you ever cried over a guy/girl?: lmfao yes sadly.

32.) Have you ever experienced unrequited love?: Yeah. With my “ex”, we weren’t officially in a relationship we were just dating.

33.) Have you ever had sex with a man?: no homo but yeah lol

34.) Have you ever had sex with a woman?: tbh i just don’t support that lifestyle… i have straight friends tho so es cool

35.) Have you ever kissed someone older than you?: si

36.) Have you ever liked one of your best friends?: Nah lol I love them in a platonic way

37.) Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated? No lol

38.) Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? Yeah lifes pretty wild

39.) Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?: yeah lmao its terrible 0/10 would not recommend

40.) Have you ever written a song or poem for someone? No im not an artistic person

41.) Have you had sex sex so far this year? Si but im staying a virgin til marriage

42.) How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander? Depends on the mood I guess???

43.) How long was your longest relationship? Lmao the current one so almost a year!

44.) How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had? 1 lol

45.) How many people did you kiss in 2011? Lmfao 0 I was an awkward disaster back then. Now i’m slightly less but with a better fashion sense.

46.) How many times did you have sex last year? Idk I wasnt counting lol but life fucked me over alot so that counts too right?

47.) How old are you? Believe it or not, but i’m 21 lol

48.) If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say? Well rip my relationship then but it’d be something like “she ain’t ugly but she ain’t me”

49.) If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her? Hmm I like the attentiveness and los jokes

50.) If your first true love knocked on your door with an apology and presents, would you accept? If its just forgiveness then probably yeah. Regardless im taking the presents tbh as compensation

51.) Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for? Yes

52.) Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Nah they usually leave me first before I can say im done

53.) Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are? No lol my business is my own

54.) Is there someone you will never forget? My ex and former close friends tbh

55.) Share a relationship story: well we went to olive garden cause I had never gone. So I was feeling like a rich white woman cause it looked fancy and the waited asked if he could toss the salad for us. My stupid ass thought he either meant in a sex term or literally flipping it. Guess what I mentioned out loud. So homeboy leaves and I realize I can never return here without realizing that i assumed that the waiter wanted a fucking threesome because I spend too much time looking at memes smh. Oh and he spilled drinks on the people next to us including this lady and her phone so guess who got tipped good cause id die if i were in his position smh. Moral of the story is this is why I shouldnt go out

56.) State 8 facts about your body: I have a fat stomach, yet skinny arms and legs lol, i got a birthmark by my right shoulder that looks like hawaii apparently, if one hand moves the other tends to attempt to do the same thing, i got my apendix removed, theres a scar from said surgery on it, I barely have body hair but it grows quick, i accidently stabbed myself with a led pencil. The led remains up to today

57.) Things you want to say to an ex: Someone is contradicting themselves lmao sorry for not being what you wanted but you could’ve treated me like a decent human being. But I guess im unreasonable for wanting trust and communication lol oh well

58.) What are five ways to win your heart?: food, pokemon, more video games, trying ya best and being direct with one another.

59.) What do you look like? (post a picture!): so like do i post a new selfie in a seperate post or???? Eh ill do that later

60.) What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners? 6-7 years 😥 lol

61.) What is the first thing you notice in someone? How they react to situations lol says alot as a first perspective

62.) What is the sexiest thing someone has done for/ to you? Bought me food 😍

63.) What is your definition of having sex? Well it involves a penis usually afjvhadaish

64.) What is your definition of cheating? Well besides doing it physically, by lying to your S/O about not seeing anyone else and talking to others with the intention of cheating

65.) What is your favorite foreplay routine? Loving jesus

66.) What is your favorite roleplay? Reading the bible together.

67.) What is your idea of the perfect date? It involves eating, going out doing anything since anything can be fun if you’re with the right person. If it gets everything that is stressful about life and makes it seem irrelevant at the moment then this is the moment

68.) What is your sexual orientation? No homo but men are ok. So un homosexual

69.) What turns you off? Well acting like a child or being rude and dismissive.

70.) What turns you on? Communication and trust can I get an amen

71.) What was your kinkiest wet dream? Ok so there I am in battle wearing regular armor but with channel boots and I destroy my enemies by walking on them since they wronged me. There’s also lesbians.

72.) What worlds do you like to hear during sex? Are you feeling it now, Mr.Krabs???

73.) What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you? Anything really, its mainly the thought that matters

74.) What’s the most superficial characteristic that you look for? Hmm facial features and eyes lol

75.) What’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for you? Gave me the pink power ranger pop lol my girl

76.) What’s the sweetest thing you have ever done for someone? I gave a rare pop as a gift for christmas. It cost $50 lmfao

77.) What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships? As long as its legal and consensual then its alright

78.) What’s your dirtiest secret? Dont got any lol not any that come to mind atleast

79.) When was the last time you felt jealous? Why? Idk middle school lol crush had the nerve to talk to someone that wasnt me smh. Im glad i grew up and learned

80.) When was the last time you told someone you loved them? Whenever I see my best friend and hes about to do some dumb shit

81.) Who are five people you find attractive? So is this like from tumblr or anywhere?. Hmm theres mi novio, my best friend and fuck it like 3 of my mutuals lmao i almost tagged em

82.) Who is the last person you hugged? My younger sister

83.) Who was your first kiss? An old friend lol we dont talk no more

84.) Why did your last relationship fail? I have no idea. My ex was like “i gotta be alone” then pulled the “we’re different” card. And I figured it was both until my friend showed me that he was on tinder with an updated bio and photos that he had sent to me initially. So I guess ill never know lol

85.) Would you ever date someone off of the internet? Yeah why not lol if the connection is there

[elsewhereuniversity]

ASKS - Mini Stories/Headcanons/Ideas

Little ask-stories sent to my main blog, posted here!

violetsnowstorm555 said: Archaeology majors agree never to dig anywhere near campus for fear of what might come up.

Anon said: What about that one kid who thinks the fair folk are actually ALIENS

k4t3yk4t said: There was that one occasion with the Vegan™ freshman who discovered the black fur coat in her roommate's closet. She was so appalled... She stole it, not to keep, but to confront her roommate later about. She never got the chance to. She wasn't seen for months, but eventually came back. She was different, when she did, though.. And never went near the pool again.

unicorn-aly said: The Girl With The Eye Tattoo on The Back Of Her Neck™; To always be kind to That One Janitor; don't pass that broom closet unless it's a life or death situation (and even then run as fast as you can); to say your purpose and you mean no harm when you enter That Room; leave exactly 9 cups of vanilla creamer under that tree; don't step on the tiny hills lest your head should face the opposite way for the rest of your life; never ever EVER pick up and keep the things you find in the mini garden 2/3

(I can’t find the other two asks connected to this which is a tragedy bc this fragment is a Gem)

chaoswolf1982 said: I am sooooo tempted to headcanon that EU is one of the places where citizens from Night Vale attend for higher education, but due to NV's own innate weirdnesses, those who've attended find absolutely nothing unusual or strange about the place, it being equivalent to them as being a quiet and plain small-town college. A good math program, decent arts scholarship, but nothing particularly stands out about it.

scarymaryanne said: OHMYGOD I'm in love with Elsewhere Uni! Just thinking about the RAs and how far they are willing/allowed to go to keep their students from getting nabbed. Like a rota for who rings the bells at dawn and dusk and no one will ever skip that duty, not again. And watching for signs of who might get taken. You can't foil them all the time cos they get mad but that tiny dance major on your floor is TOO fragile to revel with the Gentry and you will camp outside their door with salt and iron and the RAs who go in at the end of the year to get back those who were taken spend all year hoarding favours and gifts to use to get people out. They keep the crows sweet because while they would never, ever spy on the Fair Folk they've been known to drop tidbits of information and gossip that come in handy. They're the silver tongued English and Poli-sci majors who know exactly how to wheedle those who were taken back home

thecommrade said: EU idea. That one kid that everything seems to revolve around them. Are they the ring master? Are they a fae? Do they have forbidden dark magic? Nobody really knows. They're honestly too crazy to get a straight answers from them. Its always some cryptic poem of nonsense.

themarginalthinker said: They slide their notebook towards you. "I won't bite, promise!" You look down at the offering, the bullet points and neatly written summaries of the professor's lecture. Though sleep-deprived you are, pull away, sudden sickening realization of what you've done. They're smiling again, and there's something pinched between their fingers - a single hair. You'd taken their offer. They took their due. You don't acknowledge them day after next. Their eyes don't match. You know that hair color. You try to get your bearings on what's going on in class, not paying a whole lot of attention to the new student. Who is paying a lot of attention to you. "Bad week, huh?" They ask. You nod absently, suddenly realizing you don't know anyone really well in this class enough to ask for notes. Damn it..."Want to see mine?" The new student asks. You look over, finally - they seem friendly enough, an why not. Their eyes do not match. "Um..." You hesitate. They smile and /their eyes do not match/.

roseverdict said: headcanon: EU's school song rings a little longer, a bit louder, at home games. and in dorms. and honestly it's always playing just out of hearing range for the upperclassmen but the freshmen are freaking out that there's the song aLWAYS GOING-

solongraggedydoctor said: Elsewhere university. Their are three distinct types of non believers who attend. All three arrive unaware of the far world type 1) rapidly changes their views on the world, and accept and believe. Type 2) they willingly follow the rules, as they've seen what happens otherwise, but they say they don't believe, if just so if it turns out to be a joke they don't look stupid, they get got a few times. Type 3) they outright deny, and oddly, no matter what they do, nothing happens ... And oddly, no matter what they do, nothing ever happens to them. They show disrespect, follow none of the fae rules, and are still left alone, but then, towards the end of their final year, they kinda just seem to disappear, and no one really seems to remember where they went, and even years after the fact, no one you know has had any kind of contact with type 3, other than rumours that they moved away, and did something unnoteworthy. 

las-lus said: About elsewhere university: Kids who dont notice time running slower because "fuck, isnt this how it usually runs in calculus' class?". Kids who Starr drawing weird shit on their notebooks and their friends dont know if its from that weird geometry class, if they started a new drawing style of If they've been abducted. Im majoring in physics and really I cant stop thinking How hard would It be for us to notice If our friends had been taken

kass-king-of-sass said: Hi, just wanted to say your stuff for elsewhere university is amazing. I don't know if you're still accepting stuff and I've never submitted an ask like this before but here goes. I've been imagining mischievous or angered fae living in residence halls and playing tricks on the inhabitants. Pulling the fire alarm at 2 am, locking people out of their rooms, messing with the thermostats, burning food in the microwaves, things like that. All the hallmarks of a bad roommate but with a fae twist.

Anon said: There are certain alleys on campus that, on some nights, lead to faerie pavilions. If you bring them an offering, the fair folk will let you dance with them and will not harm you as long as you don't eat the food and leave before dawn.

Anon said: Oh, oh! I'm an interior design/architect student! Just imagining all the little tricks of the eyes that you could learn from the fae and then implement in human design is so exciting!

Anon said: sorry im sure youre getting a veritable INFLUX these days but imagine: student at Elsewhere whose parents' expectations have guided them into med/law/some other 'esteemed' course but theyre secretly into/good at art or singing or something. the fae would have such good sport luring them away after they sang under their breath in the wrong part of campus or one of their pages of doodling got blown in the breeze out of the window :3:3

Anon said: A freshman who lives off campus in her own apartment but Knows more than any other freshman or off campus student. She smiles and speaks carefully eyes always watching she goes by a name that's familiar to some until one night at a party she challenges one of Them to a game of 21. She drops 2 pictures on the table one of 2 girls a younger her and dark haired girl with a duffle bag in her hands and the other is of the dark haired girl with a boy who has empty eyes. "I want to see my sister again"

Anon said: In the end, it turns out she was never any different from you. She just happens to be from Iceland, just happened to have grown up with Gentry in her garden and the sea in her back yard. The one place where one lives with Them in the mountains, the one place where even the government respect Them. She never needed salt, she had hemmed her skirts with rocks and painted her nails with volcanic ashes. You conclude that international students can be just as foreign as the Fae (3/3)

Anon said: A student invested in geopolitics strikes a deal; "Give me the power to stop the corporate damming and I'll make sure no human ever nears the Nile". After all, the fae doesn't care whether their actions hurt the humans, and the student now posses unprecedented bargaining chip against at least four different governments

#violetsnowstorm555 #asks #k4t3yk4t #student life #unicorn-aly #wtnv #chaoswolf1982 #thecommrade #oddities #themarginalthinker #roseverdict #sports #solongraggedydoctor #unknowing #kass-king-of-sass #las-lus #changelings #international students #vignettes #selkies

[mountain-soul]

Like so many of those questions..u should do them all if ur up to it

get toknow me 

i know i dont really talkto you guys but i want you to get to know me. so heres 100 questions you canask me, just send a number or make up your own questions.

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?

·       Just A Phase by Adam Craig

·       Round Here Buzz by Eric Church

·       Heartache on the Dance Floor by Jon Pardi

·       Déjà vu by Lauren Duski

·       Either Way by Chris Stapleton

·       It Just Wont Quit by Meat Loaf

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, whowould it be?

·       Emma Watson or Sophia Bush (I cant choose)

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page23, give me line 17.

4: What do you think about most?

·       Getting myself out of debt

5: What does your latest text message fromsomeone else say?

·       “Headphones!!”

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

·       Giant T shirt

7: What’s your strangest talent?

·       I can pick up a lot of things with my feet

8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finishthe sentence)

·       Girls kinda suck

·       Boys kinda suck

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?

·       No

10: When is the last time you played the airguitar?

·       Lol I couldn’t even tell you

11: Do you have any strange phobias?

·       Airport security

·       Masked creatures like the Easter Bunny

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

·       no

13: What’s your religion?

·       protestant

14: If you are outside, what are you mostlikely doing?

·       Sitting on the patio drinking and hanging outwith friends

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera orin front of it?

·       behind

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favoriteband?

·       The Doors

17: What was the last lie you told?

·       “Im not mad at you”

18: Do you believe in karma?

·       I believe in justice

19: What does your URL mean?

·       That the mountains are where I belong

20: What is your greatest weakness; yourgreatest strength?

·       Weakness: I trust and forgive far too easilywhen I love someone

·       Strength: I love to prove people wrong

21: Who is your celebrity crush?

·       Julian Edeleman

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

·       Yes

23: How do you vent your anger?

·       I usually just lock myself in my room and stayaway from people for awhile. Or I’ll go see hot bartender and go line dancing at my favoritecountry bar

24: Do you have a collection of anything?

·       Pretty big vinyl record collection

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone orvideo chatting online?

·       Phone call

26: Are you happy with the person you’vebecome?

·       A lot happier recently

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

·       Hate: anything that sounds like nails on achalkboard

·       Love: thunderstorms

28: What’s your biggest “what if”?

·       What if Im not good enough to be someonesfirst and only choice

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How aboutaliens?

·       Ghosts: yes

·       Aliens: unsure

30: Stick your right arm out; what do youtouch first? Do the same with your left arm.

·       Either side of my desk

31: Smell the air. What do you smell?

·       Freshly printed paper

32: What’s the worst place you have ever beento?

·       Honestly, not a huge fan of NYC. Too muchgoing on there

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

·       East Coast for sure

34: Most attractive singer of your oppositegender?

·       Sam Hunt

35: To you, what is the meaning of life?

·       To leave people better than you met them

36: Define Art.

·       Whatever makes you feel something, be itmovement, writing, picture, drawing

37: Do you believe in luck?

·       Not really

38: What’s the weather like right now?

·       Rainy, which is okay because im home from work

39: What time is it?

·       6:01 PM

40: Do you drive? If so, have you evercrashed?

·       Yes, and Ive been rear-ended

41: What was the last book you read?

·       TheGirl on the Train

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?

·       Yes

43: Do you have any nicknames?

·       Nicki, Nic, Princess, Pumpkin

44: What was the last film you saw?

·       Shutter Island

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

·       Well I fractured my ankle when I was 10 and shouldvegotten a cast and didnt so still dealing with that 13 years later

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?

·       yes

47: Do you have any obsessions right now?

·       Cold brew coffee

·       The Bachelorette

·       Reading

·       Candles

·       Old time radio shows

48: What’s your sexual orientation?

·       Straight

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?

·       Lol, lets count them all

50: Do you believe in magic?

·       Part of me does

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against peoplewho have done you wrong?

·       Lolololololol yeahhh

52: What is your astrological sign?

·       Taurus

53: Do you save money or spend it?

·       I try to save. But I do save to spend

54: What’s the last thing you purchased?

·       A salad

55: Love or lust?

·       Depends on the person Im with

56: In a relationship?

·       Uhhh kind of

57: How many relationships have you had?

·       4

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

·       Nope

59: Where were you yesterday?

·       Work

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet ofyou?

·       My pig pillow pet

61: Are you wearing socks right now?

·       Always

62: What’s your favourite animal?

·       An otter

63: What is your secret weapon to get someoneto like you?

·       Playing hard to get

64: Where is your best friend?

·       Far away

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs onTumblr.

66: What is your heritage?

·       Portuegese, English, Swedish, French Canadian,and Mohawk Indian

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?

·       Watching The Fosters even though I should havebeen asleep

68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?

·       Lololol I think he has too many

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

·       Damn straight

70: Are you the kind of friend you would wantto have as a friend?

·       I think so

71: You are walking down the street on yourway to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street.Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do youdo?

·       Save the dog dude!

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she hasjust informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tellanyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remainingdays? c) Would you be afraid?

·       I would tell my parents, and S.O.

·       I would try and do everything I’ve ever wanted to do

·       Id be terrified

73: You can only have one of these things;trust or love.

·       love

74: What’s a song that always makes you happywhen you hear it?

·       That’s What I Like by Bruno Mars

75: What are the last four digits in your cellphone number?

·       6504

76: In your opinion, what makes a greatrelationship?

·       Respect, communication, trust, admiration

77: How can I win your heart?

·       Corgis

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?

·       Or more insanity

79: What is the single best decision you havemade in your life so far?

·       To not get another restaurant job

80: What size shoes do you wear?

·       8

81: What would you want to be written on yourtombstone?

·       “Love her, but leave her wild.”

82: What is your favourite word?

·       Love

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mindwhen you hear the word; heart.

·       ache

84: What is a saying you say a lot?

·       Bless

85: What’s the last song you listened to?

·       Objects in the Rearview Mirror by Meat Loaf

86: Basic question; what’s your favouritecolour/colours?

·       Gray, very light purple

87: What is your current desktop picture?

·       A quote that says “Do what makes your soul happy”

88: If you could press a button and makeanyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

·       Lolololol too many

89: What would be a question you’d be afraidto tell the truth on?

·       Are you over him?

90: One night you wake up because you heard anoise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. Themummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed.What do you do?

·       Go back to sleep

91: You accidentally eat some radioactivevegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you withthe super-power of your choice! What is that power?

·       Invisibility

92: You can re-live any point of time in yourlife. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your pastwould you like to experience again?

·       The last half hour I spent with my Buppa

93: You can erase any horrible experience fromyour past. What will it be?

·       All the bullying I experienced

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with themusic-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

·       SAM HUNT

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere.You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

·       English countryside

96: Do you have any relatives in jail?

·       Surprisingly no

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?

·       Oh yeah

98: Ever been on a plane?

·       Yes

99: If the whole worldwere listening to you right now, what would you say?

·      To quote Cinderella “Have courage and be kind”

[missbiddle]

do all the questions

Jesus lol soz in advance followers (all like 5 of you haha) also soz for the slow reply 

get real personal

1. Are looks important in a relationship? - Yes to an extent. They arent THE most important thing but they are defs there.2. Are relationships ever worth it? - Ugh. Who knows. I guess for some people yeah they are! For others maybe not.3. Are you a virgin? - LOL no,4. Are you in a relationship? - Nope, single virgo with hair for days.5. Are you in love? - With my dog and job yes.6. Are you single this year? - I was sort of seeing someone for a bit but single for the most part.7. Can you commit to one person? - When im dating someone im dating only them if that is the agreement.8. Describe your crush - Like 40 i think, rich, has like seven kids, amazing facial structure, generous as fuck - yes im describing angelina jolie9. Describe your perfect mate - Lara Croft10. Do you believe in love at first sight? - Nope11. Do you ever want to get married? - Nope12. Do you forgive betrayal? - Depends what the betrayal is and how extreme13. Do you get jealous easily? - Depends on the person and my relationships with them14. Do you have a crush on anyone? - Sort of15. Do you have any piercings? - One ear is stretched (I also wanna get my nipples re-done)16. Do you have any tattoos? - I have 1517. Do you like kissing in public? - I dont care either way20. Do you shower every day? - Sure do21. Do you think someone has feelings for you? - Yeah22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? - yeah23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat? - Its not cheating im worried about24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years? - No25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year? - No26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you? - Yeah.27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you? - I had a cd dedicated to me by an ex bf28. Have you ever been cheated on? - I suspect she cheated on me29. Have you ever cheated on someone? - Yeah my bfs when i was a teen30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body? - Nose, eye lift, chin tuck and lipo31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl? - Yep32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love? - I think everyone has at some point in their life33. Have you ever had sex with a man? - Yes gross34. Have you ever had sex with a woman? - Yes beautiful35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you? - Yeeep36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends? - Hahah damn straight girl crushes37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?- Yep38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? - Mmm not really39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have? - Yeah its unfortunately happening right now40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone? - Nope41. Have you had sex so far this year? - Sure have42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander? - Not long, kissing is the biggest turn on for me43. How long was your longest relationship? - 2 years44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had? - I dont know lol45. How many people did you kiss in 2012? - That was like fucking 5 years ago i cant remember!46. How many times did you have sex last year? - I have no idea?

47. How old are you? - Old af, 25

48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say? - I wish you well and good luck and i hope they make you happy

49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her? - N/A50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept? - Fuck off you abusive and manipulative c***51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for? - My dog52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why? - Im almost on the verge of giving up on her coz it feels very one sided and unlikely to happen53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are? - Not that i know of54. Is there someone you will never forget? - Unfortunately yes55. Share a relationship story. - I dated a dude for 2 days lol and broke up with him coz a pretty girl started at school and i wanted to be single in case she was gay56. State 8 facts about your body - 1. Its gross, 2. It needs more tattoos, 3. I have a lot of scars from stupid clumsiness and accidents, 4. one of my knees doesnt work properly, 5. im very disproportinate, 6. i have big feet, 7. i have to wear kids sized glasses coz my head is so small, 8. my left boob is bigger than my right.57. Things you want to say to an ex - You fucked me up really badly, congrats58. What are five ways to win your heart? - 1. find my heart, 2. get a flamethrower, 3. attempt to thaw it, 4. if succeeded in thawing pump it to get it working, 5. give up coz its dead59. What do you look like? (Post a picture!) - Lol im at work atm60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners? - HAH 17 years61. What is the first thing you notice in someone? - Eyes and smile62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you? - Buy me a ps463. What is your definition of “having sex”? - Ugh... having sex?64. What is your definition of cheating? - Physical kissing, touching, sex etc and cybersex65. What is your favourite foreplay routine? - Head i guess66. What is your favourite roleplay? - I dont roleplay67. What is your idea of the perfect date? - lying in bed and watching tv shows or gaming68. What is your sexual orientation? Gay af69. What turns you off? - Men70. What turns you on? - Women71. What was your kinkiest wet dream? - I dont remember72. What words do you like to hear during sex? - uh.. not a lot. i prefer moans or “fuck”73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you? - Buy me a ps4. or a ticket to NZ74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for? - My idea of attractive body type75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you? - Dunno i block sweet things out of my memory generally76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone? - LOL dated them?77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships? - That depends on the age difference78. What’s your dirtiest secret? - I have blood under my nails atm from work last night and i wasnt able to wash it off in the shower :(79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why? - I dont remember80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them? - Uh... i told my dog i loved her?81. Who are five people you find attractive? - Angelina Jolie, WInona Ryder, Alycia Debnam-Carey, Dominique Provost-Chalkley and Kristen Stewart82. Who is the last person you hugged? - Um... i dont remember83. Who was your first kiss with? - LOL josh rudd84. Why did your last relationship fail? - Cause i am emotionally detached 85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet? - Have before and probs would again

[ddjuneten]

Number 59. fucKyou pt4. (Kafkaesque)

Kafkaesque

These thoughts of you still plague my mind. Im readyfor love, but every girl that i find Just reminds me that i loved you. Is there any girl i could ever rank above you? Why am i still in love after 4 years? These girls smile for me, but all i remember are your tears. And despite all my fears, I found a girl who would suffice. A pretty girl who is innocent and nice. If im not over you, at least im close Because with her, its no longer just about ripping off clothes. This girl i chose will help me get over you. The one i love most. Im just trying to make it through What else can i do? Im with a girl who fucking reminds me even more of you. But i’ll learn to love her in due time, Im not over you but im fine. My feets on solid ground. Then you shook my world when you came back around. You sent a text. I sent one back. Blah blah blah. This and that. “Can i come over or not?” “Of course you can” dot dot dot. Howd i end up in this spot? Why is it that you come back when im okay? Today of all days, Im so excited to see you and what you have to say. Im ecstatic, and shocked. Dumbfounded. Hearing you say you wanted to block Me from every outlet of communication. Stuck on the tracks of a train station I just couldnt get up. I couldnt get out. What the fuck are you talking bout?! But your reiteration Of our conversation Left me in devastation. The train that was racing Came and it hit. Like a brick Straight to my chest I lost my breath. I had to leave Just to breathe. And it was outside where i started crying. The thought of you lying In my bed one last time. Thoughts of me in your head for that one last time. I want you instead even if its just one last time. What if i go back in and play my cards right? Could you please stay the night? Ill even read you these dumbass poems i write. I know i got a girl and that you got a man, But fuck them. Fuck the world. Ill have you if i can. I felt like this even despite i grew up thinking id never cheat. That no matter how many girls i meet I would stay true and loyal. I just want one woman whom i can spoil, Because she and i would be meant to be. And you was she! Four years ago it killed me When i cheated on you mentally. Im sorry. Im so fucking sorry. I understand the heartbreak now. I really do. Because walking back into the house, all i wanted was you. And there on my bed you laid so perfectly. And those eyes… i already know what you expected of me. Can i just jump in bed and join you? We can fuck around and maybe go light a joint too Before going back for round two. But i kept my distance. Against bout my heads’ wills I let you lay there while i stood still. Paralyzed. You asked for a change of clothes and i realized By you changing in front of me, You definitely wanted me. Why else would you present yourself to me in such a manner? Do you want to cheat on your man or Is this just some test you planned or Should i supply to your demand or I dont even know what you want. I cant understand her. So i turned my back and looked to the wall. Thats when she said “what you doing? Youve seen this all.” Yea. I mean sure But that was back then when we were And now we’re not. Theres a line and you crossed it by a lot. Why is it that my temptress Is the same angel i was once blessed with? You got back into bed with my shirt and sweats And i eventually joined you like “lets Just rest And not get too close.” Then you got too hot and took off your clothes. And you laid on me just like you used to. Shit we havent laid like this since ive used you. With your exposed breast Pressed up against my chest I could feel my breaths Become slower. Harder. Even lower me got harder. From that position we were in I could feel your hair dangling And tickling My skin. So i put my hands on your hips And laid there. Dreaming about kissing those lips. A couple inches forwards and we would have kissed. How could i even resist?! How can i say no?! Everything i know About love is being tested right now. I shouldnt kiss you at all, but how? Why would i refuse you When that pain i used to Feel has finally subsided. Do you remember when i loved you? Cuz i did! You dont?!? Tell me another lie bitch You fucking sexy sex inducing witch. I didnt know if you could tell But you definitely had me under your spell. Contemplating the power of my will I just laid still. “Dont cheat dont cheat! Dont listen to what your brain, dick, or heart speaks. You arent that weak. Dont cheat dont fucking cheat!” But its not an easy feat. Easier said than done Especially when what i want is the one. What do i do here? Im stuck Between my bed and her body. I want to fuck, Not just because you’re being naughty, But because im hoping our one kiss Will help us both reminisce And that a sexsion will rekindle this. Why are you here? You already said this is our last goodbye, And i heard you loud and clear. So why are you still here when you got a guy Whom you’re going to lie to? What! You want me to lie too?! Am i the reason you turned out this way? Im sorry.. i love you still! Im sayingexactly what you want me to say. Be with me and i’ll patch you up. I will. Maybe what im feeling is just guilt? I mean i did demolish the love we built. I dont know though. Because our love was so unreal That it made it real. And you know how people say love can make time stand still? Well, We’ve been in this position for half an hour, And our lips still havent been reintroduced. All these feelings you produced And induced Are so overwhelming that ive reclused. I didnt do anything that night. But you did. Morning came, but we didnt. I walked you to your car and that was it. It was a tough night. It really was. But in a way im glad it happened because My life is always a little better when you’re there. You lift me above A final Goodbye to the only girl i’ve actually loved.

#fuckyou

[neopuff]

riverdale ep 1-3

these twins always make me >___>

oh yeah i knew jason was gonna die

this is very artsy

i thought he was murdered

oh

tragedy

oh......a mom for veronica

what is a...chocolate shoppe? and why? does it sell? burgers?

is veronica the new kid

OH KEVIN

the gay kid gweiopubgoewgnew

the acting in this is terrible

the archie actor is clearly not a real ginger so i approve of this casting lmao

“to pass time i started composing poems in my head” shut up archie

archie: says anything betty: amazing!

lmao

betty: ive been thinking about us- archie: is that a hot bitch i see

“we do, both of us, together”

omg

GNOIWPEGWE BETTY’S FACE IS KILLING ME

awkward

oh....archies dad

thats not archies dad

archies dad got that fat gut

“im a sophomore’ BITCH NO UR NOT

SHES GOTTA BE LIKE 25 LMAAAOO whaaatt

im still dying theyre supposed to be 15 gwenpiubgewo;gwe

“gay, thank god, lets be best friends” im gonna piss and die

wow

love these pussycats

“ive had every flavor of boy except orange” its better that

waywiongubwepogn;wegew

ARCHIE AND GRUNDY IM DYING!!!!

IM GONNA FUCKINGGG DIIEEEE

GRUNDYINOGEW;EWL

im pissing im

DYING

shes the music teacher

why wouldnt they just make up a new teacherniogwepng;ew WHY IS SHE MS GRUNDY!!!

oh

archies dad/veronicas mom have a....history

“chose the rich kid”

wow

so many divorced parents

outdoor cafeteria

when will i see a high school that has one of these forreal

i assume its a west coast or south us thing

kevin: refers to cheryl as a widow me: i called the JOKES

“is cheerleading still a thing?” “is being the gay best friend still a thing”

the dialogue in this show is terrible its so funny

im glad betty/ronnie is a good ship

grundy is all turned on by archies music

this is so gross and im DYING

“i dont think thats a good idea” cuz u fucked a 15 year old bitch

oh

theyre not talking about the fucking

did cheryl murder her brother

why doesnt just one of them say it and not mention the other

bitch ur the only one who’d get in trouble ur an ADULT

that was so lackluster

wow

GNIWEUPGEW;OGWE

CHERYL’S FACEGNIEW;GEW

like yeah....not the kind of heat i meant :\

oh

im glad cheryls the villain i always hated her

wow

veronica: i know who u are [has known her for 2 minutes]

this dialogue is so unnatural and bad its cracking me tf up

get WRECKED cheryl

veronica: betty and i come as a matching set

i bet u do

time for football

“what you got something better to do” dont be rude

awww

“why did you defend me” just accept the kindness u fool

man

i like mr lodge

this is very awkward

was polly a character in the comics i dont remember her

WOW

“both of us” gewinouogbewgew

im DYING

in the headspace

“archiekins” gweinouobgweo;ngew

wow

“cheryl blossoms cheerleading squad.......”

bettys mom is so annoying

she sounds familiar

oh

mr lodge just sent a lotta money their way

why did the coach call his dad

he said hed give him a day

impatient ass

archies dad is just like :\

:/

:\

:/

these actors dont look related at all

which is funny to me

oh good its the pill in ibiza song

omg

i love that veronica is the speech giver in this show

moose/kevin gwiuebogiwgew

where is REGGIE

my SON

wow

openly talking about the illegal secrets at a big party

i just realized reggie is the asian guy

i didnt hear his name and couldnt figure out who tf that was gweopiubgwe;ngwe

im a fool

whered ronnie go

dancing with the gay guy, god

“i have this fantasy of us as a power couple” who asks someone out like that

STOP STARING AT GRUNDY

this is super awkward

cheryl is gonna murder...everyone

they could just

chill

“cheryl blossom truly is...the antichrist” just all her a bitch like a normal person

“we’re not just friends we’re best friends” shut up archie

wOW

hes NEVER FELT for betty

if these two make out i s2g

once they kiss cheryls gonna open the door

foolish children

ronnie dont DO IT

foolish

sighs

boring

what how tf would she know they made out

did they not come out at exactly 7 minutes

ok but wheres betty

oh hey jughead

i like jugheads not-crown

oh

now shes goin straight for love

“of course i love you” hes being so...obtuse

annoying

oh

ok now its about not being good enough

sure

did they find jayjay

and look at that

he got shot in the head

probably by his sister

ok

its obvious cheryl did it

im sure theyll switch it up like somehow it was secretly jughead

but it was cheryl

ok ep 2

fgewgw

why were they even fuckin at 6 am

cant believe they made moose gay

i forgot his gf’s name in the comicsniguwebgew

god

the actor that played jason was so uggo

GEWNIOG;EW SHARING A SHAKE WITH HIS TWIN SISTER!!!

maybe someone shot him for being so openly incestuous with his creepy sister

i know its like plagueing archie now but i feel like this should help him

“are you up?” “no” “youre killing your mother”

he went to grundys house

weird

and hes shirtless

“you could be expelled” “we could go to jail” NEITHER OF THOSE THINGS WOULD HAPPEN TO HIM!!!

pedophilia is not a two way street

oh

bettys mom is...the worst

betty plz dont talk to your bitch mother about your life

i love archies eyebrows

i hope this is the end of archie/betty forever

wow

“sardonic humor”

oh

bye jughead

oh

is kevin not out to his dad

“the yellows for friendship” sure

veronica is so aggressively into this friendship

YAYYY

the otp stays together

wow

betty u are a fool

that is your future WIFE

oh

hi mr weatherbee

cheryl is wearing a spider pin gewoinubgewlngkew

CHERYL

archie and mr weatherbee just gonna

make eyes

jughead: archie you KILLED him

fewijohuog

HE THINKS ARCHIE DID IT

no jughead i was just fucking the hot prof

jughead: ew

fewiougobewgno;ewlgew

kevin moose is your new bf

“fate throws us together” ok

wow

why is he rejecting moose

because hes in the closet???

hes clearly trying to come out cmon

oh

everyones terrified of cheryl now so thats good

oh

bettys mom

“i ship it” why

“moose has an official girlfriend...mitch” i feel like i heard this line wrong

oh, betty

dont cry sweetums

“im supposed to say yes” THE DIALOGUE

ronnie is trying so hard with these dramatic white ppl

really

they couldnt even keep weatherbee fat

is this channel afraid of fat ppl

wow

does this bitch just sit in her empty ass music room all day

is she not really even a teacher

DONT TALK ABOUT FEELINGS

YALL ARE GROSS!!!!

disgusting

bitch get a dog and leave teenagers alone

WOW

WOW LMAAAAOOOOOOOO

AAAAAAA

JUGHEAD: WHAT!! GROSS!!! WTF!!!

this is not high school cheerleading

one of the girls here actually looks like a high schooler

cheryl just called herself exoticgewiongewiogew; CUZ YOURE A GINGER? BITCH

i die

oh

betty why

wOW

betty dont do this

cheryls a crazy ho

i know theyll make up by the end of the ep but still

“like we were meant to be best friends” gweniguebwg

2nd grade tutor

gewinogubwegw

“oh, little archie-” little archiewgn;klew I DIE

references are what i live for

i cant believe betty let cheryl into her house

wheres her mom to scream and chase her out

welp

there goes that

betty dont let her into ur HOME

oh

whats betty doing

“BEFORE I KILL YOU” BETTY

terrible thing to say

are they not friends because archie stood him up

cougarngiewgew

SHES A PEDOPHILE

awkward

i guess bettys mom coulda killed jason

“sometimes a friend is better than a boyfriend” actually, always, not sometimes

oh reggies finally doin something

gonna keep up the reggie/jughead rivalry

FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

ok

“you wanna d the right thing” the way archie said that made it sound like he wants to fuck her and she doesnt want to

but whatever

so does jughead and bettys friendship not exist in this universe

nod like douches and mutually suppress our emotions

wow

this dialogue is still awful its so funny

i hope it never improves purely for my amusement

out door pep rally...

[dances]

fewiulgbew

AHH HONEY HONEY

YOU ARE MY

CAAAANDY GIIIIIIRL

good shit

oh

cheryls having a Time

god the kid that plays jason is so uggo

oh

bye cheryl

finally getting a genuine emotional response from her

were they gonna fake his death for attention but then he was actually dead

yayyy

make up

veronica is over here like “betty and i were destined to be friends” and betty is like “im sure we wont know each other in a week”

aww archie and jughead back 2gedda

does jughead know betty or not

wheres the jughead/betty brotp of my past

veronica and jughead: interact me: yes...

im glad that, unlike in the comics, archie is not dating both girls at once and then also every other girl he meets

where ya goin weatherbee

wha

A CHALKBOARD LOL

i doubt a school like this would have a chalkboard instead of a smartboard

oh

did she do it

gasp

im sticking with my fake death for the attention theory

OK LAST EP

im enjoying this show

but i dont think i could take multiple Dramatic Teen Shows

how could cheryl be wearing that skirt in public school

“the plan was bananas”

oh

jason just wanted.....to leave

thats fine

oh

who got shot

gwneio;glkwe

in my neighborhood it wouldve just been the hunters

is archie gonna have a shiner for the rest of the show

oh

is betty not poor as shit in this universe?

i shouldve guessed from her moms outfits

“a lois lane type like you” nice and ronnie can be clark kent

omg leave grundy alone so she can die in hell

wha

why didnt you just say that you were alone

oh

dog

ok

a date....

oh

hes hot

good call, ronnie

CHUCK CLAYTON

“hes kind of a player” dont be racist, betty

he is hot as hell tho

awww “juggie”

finally jughead and betty are 2gedda

jughead you need shit for your college applications

oh right, dilton

what

“im not ten years old” but you are 15 which is not very different

so if chuck is in the show is nancy gonna be around too

ronnie/chuck is a good ship

“to OUR relationship” shut the fuck you youre a pedophile

wow

the sticky maple....

wow

chuck was cute

ronnie is gonna tear him apart

man

why does chuck have to be a dick!!! chuck was always a nice guy

fewionpgnew

betty: [COVERS FACE]

destroy him

PUNCH HIM

why is chuck a villain im bothered but also hes the worst destroy him

this terrible au version of chuck is terrible

“nothing is off the table...except for my body” weiugblewnkg

i love the pussycats

is this every other girl chuck did this to

oh

its ethel

hi cheryl

go away

lmao

whose this kid

wow

ok jughead

dont steal his ice cream

oh

dilton shot a gun gwoinegbpweo;nglwe

survivalist?!?! DILTON

IM DYING

HES A TECHNOLOGY OBSESSED NERD

why do the pussycats roll their eyes at josie

“a bnd with b&v”

did they find...ze book

so the football players dont even fuck the girls its just about getting a date and a selfie???

oh

cheryl, doubting her brother

what

just take the book

why not...just take the book

powerful

bettys rly lucky her mom isnt violent

(for now)

oh

she looks super awkward in that

omg

the sound of bettys lil demons in her head

“and a hot tub....”

this is such an awkward conversation

just imagining this with real 15 year olds is ridiculous

oh hey ronnie

chuck youre so fucking stupid

shes wearing a swimsuit and heels this is CLEARLY A TRAP

GWENOIGO;NEW

BETTY

black is not a good hair color

ronnie: im so turned on

GEWNIOG;EWG

SLAP!!!!

i just realized why archies dad is so familiar

he was on generator rex AND clone high

love it

part of me always liked archie/josie

15 is not late wtf

“slut shaming...its what they call it when sluts get shamed” wow

when does bettys mom get murdered

um

are they gonna burn him

UM

um

betty

LMAO

shes fine shes just pissed

awww

dads gonna support u now

must be NICE

gweoniugbweo;gew bettys face when ronnie said she called chuck “jason” was so funny

are they gonna do some she went off her meDS OO---OOOHHHA AAAHHH TERRIBLE BEAST

#burn it

cheryl tryin to make up for ze past

i still hate her idc

omg when does grundy get murdered too im done with this pedophilia subplot

STAY AWAY

FROM THE CHILD!!!

-___-

dilton you fool

im happy juggie and betty are hanging out

oh

dont mention ms grundys car

NO

YOU

FOOL!!!!

im tired of this pedophile plz shoot her next

ok im all caught up

whens the next episode

#riverdale #carro watches riverdale

[makesureee]

1-30 ty~

omg no thank yOU ogm ur so swe e t im sorry if i’m not able to answer all of them cause my memory is an actual pile of shit and my favourite songs are constantly changing but so HERE SO WE GO

*viewer discretion is advised because this user is annoying as shit on adderall*

 1. what album do you feel best describes your mood?at the moment, i am like, OBSESSED with the album “my bad” by Good Dog. like. i relate to EVERY. WORD. EVERY. SONG. in that album. i just. i cant cant cant nope.

  2. if your name had to be a song title which song would it be?“Oh.” ~courtesy of Good Dog

  3. what is your go to sad song when you need to cry?i don’t have a go-to sad song. i don’t cry that much anymore either. like, my pain is like, background noise that bubbles to the surface for a second (and on the rare occasion explodes) but usually like literally 2 seconds later im like im good whats up lol. as far as the last song i had a good ass cry to…..i think it might have been A Song For the Late Night People by Kate Micucci. literally not sure tho

  4. what band would you want as the rest of your superhero team?the FUKIN FRONT BOTTOMS

  5. if you had to live in the world of an album which one would it be and why?i think this question is asking which one album i would want to listen to for the rest of my life? to that, my answer is, fuck you my good sir(in middle school and freshman year of high school my ipod had one album on it. one. on repeat. for years. i literally knew the SHUFFLE by heart that shit was miserable and i do not want to listen to those songs anymore)

  6. what song best describes the person you think your soulmate would be?i don’t believe in soul mates, but as far as a compatible partner goes (based off of my most recent song obsessions) i would choose Scarred Pinkies by Walter Mitty and His Makeshift Orchestra. i’ll just drop a few lines riiiiiight here damn this post is gonna be long.“Ah, here lies all hope of being normal, all chance of an epic fate,bussing tables in Lake Tahoe, eating scraps off stranger’s plates.Ah won’t you cure me? Take me to your bug out location off the grid.I’ll tell you how I scarred my pinkies,and we’ll await Armageddon,or take a long nap.Then teach me to write well,and clean my lungs.Watch the love of my life sewing dresses on fireflies.Go and get me some real drugs to paint my blood,All while the thighs of women have lost their church,and the hands of men are shaking in the search.”“straight to hell, might as well clock out now and rail that cinnamon.”“The cops knocked, someone soon might let them in.They’ll find our strawberry cough. They’ll find the secret voice that shepherds towards the droughts in our thoughts until it snows, listen i know you know this,i’m losing it.”sry i posted like, all the lines in the song i relate to in regards of a romantic partner. but basically, in this moment i want a girlfriend i can do a lot of drugs with and shit (permitting they’re not into harder shit than i am), but i have so many problems with drugs that i’d also want that person to help me but also no. idk. in the long term i’d like someone who can help me heal from this shit but in the short term, i want to experience the romance of doing drugs with someone because i haven’t experienced much of life at all

  7. create a poem out of song titles.far away, aimless, (johnny goth/johnny goth)i have no idea what is going on. (sweatertooth)the kids on the bus with their heads against the windows, (movies)straight kids playing dress up, (the official suckers)and a body washed ashore. (johnny goth)face down, share the blame. (sweatertooth/the official suckers)no choice. (major persuit)fine, thanks. (walter mitty and his makeshift orchestra)wow that one was depressing and political lolol i just went with the flow

  8. which album art would you get tattooed?a question i dont have to write a paragraph for cause i already know the answer!!! the knife on the front bottoms album cover for talon of the hawk. i don’t want it to be my first tat tho. still brainstorming.

  9. is there a song that you feel could have been written about you?BRUH I JUST CAME ACROSS A WHOLE ALBUM WRITTEN ABOUT ME SHIT. well, obviously it wasn’t written about me but i relate to e v e r y word fukin hELL. again it’s “my bad” by Good Dog. but i think the song i relate to the most off that album is “Oh.”

  10. if you could only speak in the song lyrics of one artist who would it be?walter mitty and his makeshift orchestra. his new album is one i also hella relate to. my previous obsession before Good Dog came out with their new album XD

  11. if you could have your favorite artist sing one of their songs to you which song would it be?well this one is just impossible. my favorite artist changes and my favorite song changes like every week like fuck

  12. describe where you want to be in ten years with a song title.booger storm by walter mittynah jk how bout Set Phasers To Fun; Alarm Clocks To One by sweatertooth. you know they only have one album but it’s chill af

  13. which song would be the national anthem of your country if you ruled one?attention class….please stand for the pledge of allegiance…….. COLT 45, 2 ZIG ZAGS, BABY THAT’S ALL WE NEED.WE CAN GO TO THE PARK AFTER DARK, SMOKE THAT TUMBLE WEED,AND AS THE MARIJUANA BURN WE CAN TAKE OUR TURN SINGIN THEM DIRTY RAP SONGS.STOP AND HIT THE BONG LIKE CHEECH AND CHONGAND SELL TAPES FROM HERE TO HONG KONG.SO ROLL, ROLL, ROLL MA JOINT. PICK OUT THE SEEDS AND STEMS!WE’RE HIGH AS HELL FLYIN THRU PALMDALE SKATIN ON DAYTON RIMS

  14. what is your go to happy song when you need to feel betteri never really go to songs to feel better but kimya dawson is really comforting. she’s like, my song mom. her music is like a warm hug until you get sad cause you’re alone and all your problems are still there

  15. is there an album that feels like a friend to you?yeah actually. Hard To Be Around by Lovers Turn To Monsters

  16. what is the album that you always blast too loud?usually all but ESP my drinking album XDD it’s called Too by FIDLAR. i dEF recommend a listen next time ur drinkin

  17. which album do you always listen to with headphones?i don’t use headphones in my house unless i’m so upset and relating to the music so hard that it needs to be as loud as possible. which again, most recently, has been “my bad” by Good Dog

  18. what song are you unable to resist dancing to?none of them. i do not dance, have never danced, and will never dance

  19. what song do you always have to sing along to?every song i know the lyrics to. im a singer. i cant…not….sing….

  20. what song do feel would be a beautiful painting?if i knew i woulda goddamn painted it XD i actually used to think that way about a specific old instrumental pink floyd song once but i can’t remember which one

  21. what album do you wish you could unhear and discover again?all of them!!!!! i love them so much but when i relate to music so hard i can’t stop listening to it and then its mundane and i have to go bandcamp hunting again

  22. which album do you want to be the soundtrack to your life?i don’t rly listen to positive music but as far as my life is going right now i’d say the soundtrack is Well Soon by Walter Mitty and his Makeshift Orchestra

  23. which band would you want to be your family?i can’t answer that because i do not know any of them personally XD

  24. what song do you think of in association with beauty?what

  25. what song do you think of in association with pain?like???? all of them???? i suck ????

  26. what lyrics do you feel were written especially for you.none specifically FOR me. i’m the writer :p i can write songs about/for people and i’m kinda jealous that i’m not on the other end cause idk who the fUCK i am. but as far as lyrics i’ve found that are mE on the dot:“I’m an artist. No, I fake it. I repeat myself all day.I tell the same sad storiesin the same pathetic way.When I’m sober I am boring, when I’m drunk I talk too much,When I’m stoned I finally like myself. I shouldn’t just becauseI’m a filthy fucking liar. I think I’m nice when I am not,And I only feel like I can talk when I am smoking pot.”“Oh.” by Good Dog

  27. what lyrics do you want to doodle on every piece of paper?none that sounds boring

  28. what music do you listen to at 3 am?the same music i listen to all throughout the day because i get fixated on music i relate to

  29. pick three albums to take with you into the afterlife.none because the afterlife doesn’t exist fools get wit tha program

  30. what is music to you in one word?music

like, do you even read this? like homie it’s so long i feel like i get charity asks but like, I DON’T MIND I LOVE ASKS but holy fuck i’m annoying and i would stop being so specific and rambley if people just told me to shut up

#finally finished!!!!! #that took forever!!!! #but the adderall kicked in and im bored and asks make me happy and thank you #i feel like i got one homie out there that just sends me all tha asks #u gr8 #<3 #anon #anonymous #answered #good dog #lavapocalypse