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thotsforvillainrights · 2 years

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Hi! Okay I'm doing this off anon cuz I might become a regular around here. I really enjoy your writing, and your smaus make me giggle SO MUCH.

So, here's my request! Basically, reader is like. 5 or 6 years old and has a HUGE kiddie crush on them right? Even to the point the reader basically forces them into a kindergarten wedding lol.

The reader would be any person you wants kid, but I'd like to specifically request Dabi, Shigiraki, Twice, Spinner, Compress, Pops, AFO, And Chisaki? Sorry if that's too much! But yeah if that's okay lol :> also how would the kids parent/sibling react!

(So I might've had a hard time understanding this one since I'm grow more dense the longer the night goes on. The reader is anyone I want child, but the person the reader thinks of is the people listed above? I hope that's right! Also don't be mad, please don't be mad but I'm not too much a big fan of the kid's having crushes trope! Although its a real thing -I say this because as a small child I wanted to marry Inuyasha after seeing him on my Tv one night.-Anyway, can I opt out of the wedding and tweak it to them being huge fans please???)

(No seriously, don't be mad. I'm very sensitive)

(I decided for the dad to be Re Destro since he's been present a lot lately here on the blog. I was originally going to make the dad Twice but I looked back and saw he was already listed as the person of interest lol)

headcanon|scenario|imagine|match-up

-Dabi: Rikiya first started to suspect that you were a weird kid when he found you out in the garden one day trying to have a full conversation with earthworms in the tomato plant. Being a huge fan of the villain Dabi only cemented this. He figured you'd grow out of it in about a month or two but it didn't seem to go away. In fact, it only seemed to get worse with time! By the time you hit the age of 6, your entire bedroom was themed after a villain. It was somewhat disappointing since Re Desto figured you'd admire dear old dad around this age. Nope! You ran around the house throwing blue tissue paper here and there, pretending it was blue flames. You even went and scribbled purple paint all over yourself one day. It was getting out of hand but he tried to hand in there. What was a man to do?

-Shigaraki: There are worse things in this world...but having a kid that was obsessed with the Leader of the League of Villains definitely cut the cake. How on earth was he to cope with the various doodles of Tomura taking up space on his fridge? You even wanted him to call you Shigaraki around the house. It was no longer Cowboys and Robbers. It was now League and Heroes. There were no tea parties or fishing trips. You wanted to be Tomura you admired him so much. Your growing collection of red shoes was a sign of that. Re Destro has to hear Shigaraki's name leave his toddlers mouth at all hours of the day. "Papa look, Shigaraki is on the news!" He groaned and turned to stare at you as you excitedly watched the show. The man sighed to himself and smiled. Oh well, you were still his child and he still loved you dearly no matter what weird thing you were into at the moment.

-Twice: It's pretty obscure that Twice's biggest fan is a 6 year old but hey, what the hell. However, Rikiya did grow weary of watching his child try to make clones 24/7. That wasn't even the kind of quirk you possessed! Either way, he would learn to be patient with you until you found interest in someone else. At this point he'd prefer if it was anyone else other than Jin Bubaigawara. Damn it, anyone please? Here, hang out with uncle Skeptic or aunt Curious. Someone please help this old man lol.

-Spinner: At your young age you likely thought he was a dinosaur. It was innocent and very cute. You'd probably been raised up on a lot of dinosaur kids stuff so your brain made that connection when you saw Spinner one day. You'd suddenly started wearing a bandana/mask around the house and wielding an empty paper towel roll as your sword everywhere (even school). To you, spinner was the coolest person...dinosaur in the whole world. You would even take the toys you already had and wrap little masks around them and tie hairpins to their backs with rubberbands so they'd be like Spinner too. You also found out about Spinner before Stain so now you were thinking that Stain must be a huge spinner fan too.

-Compress: Anybody that can do magic tricks is going to have the best interest of a kid. That's a given rule. Poor Re Destro tried his hardest to explain to you that Compress was a villain and that he couldn't book him for your 6th birthday this year but you just weren't listening. Now Rikiya by no means raised any type of spoiled brat, but you certainly knew how to get what you wanted when you wanted it. You threw a fit. You thrashed about, cried until your eyes were swollen and itchy. You sniffled and snotted everywhere. You crossed your little arms and stomped your feet. You even threatened to hold your breath until you couldn't breath anymore. Your father folded faster than origami. Now he had to figure out a way to get a literal fucking villain to perform at a kids birthday party. Good luck with that one lol.

-Pops: You'd met the old man in public a few times. Your young mind couldn't gather much about him other than the fact that he must've been an important guy. All you knew is that 'old man pops' always reached into his pocket and gave you candy/sometimes money whenever he saw you. Re Destro usually chatted with the old man since they'd basically done business at the same bank and shopped at the same store sometimes. Your papa loved leaving far out of Deika to do errands since it was a nice trip to take. He didn't know his kid was going to admire the literal leader of the yakuza so much to the point that they wanted to be like the man. It wasn't too big of a deal though. He'd seen how nice the old man was to you. Maybe he'd arrange a time or two to take you to the compound so you could learn about the yakuza? Of course he didn't want you affiliated with such a group, but education at a young age was always essential.

-AFO: Rikiya is seriously considering sending a 5 year old off to therapy because what in the hell is going through your mind to have such a deep interest in All For One of all people. Sometimes things that are meant to scare people have little to no effect on small kids. Kids tend to be fearless (it's true), so sometimes they can have interests that border on the macabre. That must be what's happening right now. He hopes soon you'll come out of this before you turn 6 because he's getting weird looks buying AFO figures off the black market for a fucking 5 year old.

-Overhaul: Your obsession with Overhaul runs so deep that you've taken to covering your mouth everywhere. It started around the house with just your hand. You'd reach over your face at odd times and cover your mouth. Rikiya just thought that maybe something smelled weird but he could never figure out what it was. Then you progressed towards trying to make masks out of paper and yarn. He finally figured out you were interested in the young head of the yakuza after seeing him on the news one day. Now he had to deal with his child using their candy money to buy black surgical masks that barely fit their face. It was an odd interest indeed.

#im sure i fudged this one up and i apologize!

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taeescript · 3 years

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29+1 (Part One)

𝔰𝔶𝔫𝔬𝔭𝔰𝔦𝔰: In which Seokjin is the Devil from The Devil Wears Prada, Taehyung is your work Jesus and Jimin is your handsome successful brother.

𝔭𝔞𝔦𝔯𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰: seokjin x reader (taehyung x reader if you squint real hard)

𝔤𝔢𝔫𝔯𝔢: slice of life; ceo!seokjin (diva!seokjin)

𝔴𝔠: 3.6k

𝔴𝔞𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰: heavy use of alcohol as a coping mechanism, a plethora of sarcasm (please don’t be offended) and a sprinkle of softness (is that a warning?).

𝔞/𝔫: this sat in my unwritten folder since 2017 no lie. I wrote the premise and a singular paragraph at that time, then just gave up. I opened it a few days ago, got inspired again and this word vomit came out (heavily influenced by a midnight Zoom call with my friends). Ngl this was so much fun to write, and I hope you all enjoy it as much as I did. This will probably be in three parts. 𝔡𝔦𝔰𝔠𝔩𝔞𝔦𝔪𝔢𝔯: I did not know that DailyHive is an actual online news source when writing. This work is purely fictional and has absolutely nothing to do with the real DailyHive.

part two

Your friends have a saying: After 29, nobody shares their age until they’ve accomplished something.

In the past, you didn’t understand it. What’s so bad about saying you’re 30 or you’re 32? That’s still a young age! Sure, you’re not exactly in your prime anymore but you’re not old, right?

So, you continue in your own wondrous world of naïveté until that fateful day at your class reunion. You had simply been walking around, minding your own business when you had been stopped by an old colleague.

“Hey, Y/N, right?” she waves you down.

You smile kindly, not even bothering to try and remember her name (you sucked at names, what could you say).

“Hey…you!” you chuckle lightly, “How have you been doing?”

An everyday question leading to catastrophic effects.

“Oh you know,” she says and rolls her eyes as if you truly did know, “I’ve just been out and about. Did I tell you though? I got married last year!” She holds out her hand in which a giant diamond adorns her finger. “Wow!” you gasp, feigning interest. It’s not that you aren’t happy for her, but you are reminded of just how single you are currently. When was the last time you felt another human’s touch? Does kissing come back as easily as riding a bicycle? “Hey!” she says suddenly, “I’m actually meeting with a couple of friends from our class. You should come join! I’m sure they’d be happy to see you again!” You want to wave her off, but against your better judgment, you find yourself following in her footsteps and listening to her speak about wedding venues and honeymoon destinations.

“Oh my god!” another female voice filters in.

The “couple of friends” this old classmate had mentioned is in fact a fairly impressive size of twenty. This is also the third time the wedding announcement has been made.

“Last year?” the female continues, “Weren’t you young?”

Yes, you want to respond. Yes she was young. A full 365 days younger than she is now.

Your classmate, Sooyoung (or Kiko as she insists going by now) titters in front of you. “I mean, you can sort of say I’m a late bloomer. I got married when I was 31.”

Her words unintentionally cut into you. Here you are at 29 without a beau in sight. You take a fast swig of your beer and end up hitting the empty glass with a clink to your teeth. Nobody notices.

“Enough about me, however, how about you?”

“I started my own business actually. It’s been doing really well and it’s been a crazy mind. Imagine me, my own boss at only 33!”

You nervously join them when they suddenly laugh together.

“Hi, can I get another pint please? Actually add a tequila shot to that,” you whisper the last part to the waitress you had just stopped.

And that was how the rest of the night went. People asking one another what they had accomplished. Any moment in time after 30 would not be mentioned until somebody travelled to Uganda to build houses at 31 or another gave birth at the same age. Below 30, anything would be attributed to luck or in your case…

“What are you doing currently?” somebody asks you, “The little baby of our class.”

Swallowing your third tequila shot of the night, you wonder for the umpteenth time how you had become a part of this giant sharing circle. You wonder if it’s a blessing or a curse that you had graduated a little early and thus was younger than most of your peers.

“Well,” you start, “I’m currently working at DailyHive.”

“Ohh!” a man gushes. You recognize him as the once-upon-a-time science partner you used to cheat notes off of. “I use DailyHive nearly as much as Instagram these days. You guys cover everything from news to sports to fashion.”

You shrug. “Yeah. It’s, uh… it’s a pretty big company!”

“What are you doing there?”

Kiko-ex-Sooyoung hits the man teasingly on the shoulder. “Y/N is probably the Director of Marketing or something. Remember how she used to spend all class doodling in her notebook?”

“Or sleeping!” someone quips.

You don’t join in when they all laugh.

“I’m…an intern,” you say with as much pride as you can in a group of established professionals ranging from dermatologists to that one guy who had flown around the world as a TedTalk guest speaker.

A hushed silence befalls everyone.

“That’s…cool!” the same man encourages you, “Interns are totally rad! Everyone wants an intern spot these days.”

His girlfriend pats your arm, almost empathetically. “Yeah. I know a bunch of people who first start off as interns and then they shoot up the ladder quick enough. As long as you’re no longer an intern at 30, you’re golden!”

Once again, the entire group laughs as if she has said the most hilarious of jokes.

She composes herself and says to you, “Because after that, you should have accomplished something.”

Her words still ring in your ears as you sit at your desk this morning.

Yeah…something. All you need to do is accomplish something in the next three months before you are officially, 29 + 1.

Your fingers tap against your thighs silently while you observe the current debate that is occurring in the conference room. You barely have time to sweep the falling hair back behind your ear as your fingers ferociously fly across the keyboard to keep in track with the meeting.

Fei is arguing that the implement of a new search word system would boost users while Daniel says that it is a waste of resources. Instead, everything should be put into updating the entire system as a whole. You have long since lost track of their words as neither pertain to what you do as an intern.

“Enough,” the CEO of DailyHive holds up a hand. His one word causes the entire room to hush over – truly, the words of a god.

And that might as well be what he is. With his hair swept back and a lone tendril curling perfectly above his brow, Kim Seokjin is legitimately a walking god. Off his broad shoulders hang an expensive white linen suit bought with his pocket change and your yearly salary. A pair of sunglasses hangs in the V of the collared shirt dipping low enough to blur the lines between being fashionably professional and just downright sexy.

The snap of his fingers brings you back to the present.

He dramatically rolls his eyes and accepts that you are an incompetent minute-taker.

“I have to remember that the world just doesn’t move as fast as I do.”

- Quote: Rolling Stones 2019 Kim Seokjin.

Now if only he’d remember he had once said that.

He points at each of them with one finger, then swipes to the left. “Both of you, solve this outside. I don’t want to hear your voices any longer. You two from the marketing team, Ungroomed Stache and Acne Chin, create me a report if we are to implement Ms. Song’s idea. The two of you from…” he takes a pause here clearly having forgotten who his employees are, “The two of you do the same thing but for Mr. Hwang.”

The pair from accounting open their mouth to protest that they are in charge of only numbers, but they are ignored.

“All of you out now. Except you,” he points his finger directly at you, “Stay.”

Nobody utters a single word until they have all left and you are left alone with him. Standing before him with your hands folded nicely in front of you, you blink and wait.

He stares right back at you, picks up his coffee mug and drops it. The clatter of ceramic smashing against the ground causes a pause in the loud buzz outside the room. You know everybody’s focus has been shifted into the room.

“Do you want to kill me?” he drawls.

You take a long inhale. “No,” you say.

“No?” he repeats the word, “Well I think you do. Did you check this coffee before you brought it to me? I tasted cinnamon in it. You know how I’m allergic to cinnamon. Get me a new cup. And this mess, get somebody to clean it. I don’t want the smell of coffee in this room when I have my next meeting here in twenty. I’m taking a smoke a break.”

He stands up and brushes past you without saying anything else.

Nobody can be allergic to cinnamon. Besides if he had actually tasted cinnamon and was that sensitive, he would be dead. And good riddance to that.

Of course, you say none of this and wordlessly begin to pick up the broken ceramic pieces of the dead mug. The bustling outside the meeting room has returned back to its normal state of chaos. Seeing the ugly stain of coffee on the once pristine carpet causes you to swear beneath your breath.

“Who the fuck is allergic to cinnamon?” a new voice says, sliding up beside you.

The second god in DailyHive; the much nicer and evidently preferred Kim; Taehyung takes the mug pieces from you and drops it into the garbage bin.

Blessed with not only intelligence but devilishly model-like features, he is your desk buddy in the small space allotted for interns and your sole friend in the company.

“Tae,” you sigh with exasperation upon seeing your lifesaver, “What am I going to do about this stain? He’s going to return in fifteen and there’s no way I can get a coffee stain out of this expensive-ass carpet.”

Taehyung taps a long finger to his lips, leaves the room briefly, and returns with a roll of Bounty sheets and a can of Febreze. He promptly blots as much of the coffee off from the carpet then proceeds to pull the meeting table.

“C’mon, Y/N, don’t just stand there. Help me! Time is of the essence!”

You laugh and join him in moving the table so that one of the legs cover the stain 80% of the way. Once he is satisfied, he takes the Febreze and sprays until the whole room smells like “Hawaiian Aloha”.

“You’re welcome.” He gives an extravagant bow, the motion popping open the top button of his shirt to expose a surprisingly chiseled chest.

Fei returns back into the room holding a phone to her ear and a clipboard in her left hand. “What the hell? It smells like a Bath & Body Works in here. Intern, aren’t you supposed to be filing or something? Stop standing around and be useful.” She grips Taehyung’s arm and drags him out of the room. “Button up. This is a professional workplace.”

You give him a tiny wave as Taehyung is steered away by his girlfriend and back to the cubicles.

Taehyung may be your saviour at work, but outside, it cannot be denied that your brother is the true Fountain of Life.

A week has passed since the coffee incident (you suspect a cleaning personnel had found the stain and cleaned up after your improv as aforementioned stain can no longer be found), but Jimin still brings it up.

“I still can’t believe that he said he was allergic to cinnamon. I’ve never heard of such bullshit before,” your brother says over the phone. You can practically hear his eyeroll from across the world.

As a renowned ophthalmologist, you have not seen Jimin for close to a year as he has been initiating his new clinic, a flying eye hospital.

“You should hear his Starbucks order. I always feel like I’m ready to launch my next EP whenever I’m at the counter,” you say.

Jimin laughs. There is the muffled sounds of voices as his never-ending flow of patients have arrived for the day.

“I shouldn’t keep you,” you say upon hearing that, “You’re probably really busy.”

“No,” he says, “I’ve got a few minutes if you’ve got a few. I miss talking to my baby sister.”

“I’m not a baby anymore, Jiminie,” you say using the nickname he hated.

“Oh that’s right. Your birthday’s in a little under three months, right? My baby sister is turning the big three-oh.”

“God, don’t remind me.”

“Want me to come visit you?”

You contemplate the idea once, having not seen Jimin in quite a while.

“Only if you have time. But I feel like Mom and Dad would probably want to see you more. Speaking of which, um… How are Mom and Dad?”

“They’re good. I hear Dad is finally going to retire this year. He’s giving his practice to Kibum, you remember him? Mom will probably start pestering us about what to do for his retirement party.”

There is a pause.

“You know, it wouldn’t hurt to say hi to them once in a while.”

You sigh. “And say what? Hey, it’s me. The child that ran away from home at 18? Yeah, I’m not a doctor like everybody else in the family but a 29 year old intern at a popular app company. Whassuuup?”

“Y/N, that’s not what I – ”

“It’s okay, Jimin. I’ve come to accept that not everybody is cut out to be a doctor. I just wish Mom and Dad could realize that.”

Jimin sighs on your behalf. There is the sound of a crying child coming through the earphone. “Well, your contract expires a few weeks after your birthday, right? Who knows, you might be the next Mark Zuckerberg.”

He has never explicitly inquired about your life plan and you know this is as much as he is willing to push without asking, “What’s next after this intern hiccup?” At least he had the decency to compare you to a controversial Internet entrepreneur.

The child is crying much louder now.

“Again with my birthday. But I’ll let you know,” is the only reply you can come up with at the moment. “Okay, brother, go forth and heal the blind. I bless thee in the name of the Holy Spirit, Son and Ghost.”

There is true laughter that rings from Jimin as he ends the call. “It’s Father, Son and Holy Ghost you dweeb. I love you sis.”

“You too.” You hang up first before he can add anything else.

With that, you enter into the 7am Starbucks queue and prepare yourself in running the first single of your long overdue EP.

Seokjin leans back in his chair, watching you from inside his office. Today he has chosen a black turtleneck and a brazen maroon-nearly purple suit jacket to complete the outfit. For once, there is an empty mug of coffee beside him and his morning headache has been appeased.

He knew he had given you an impossible task.

“Compile all the troubleshooting errors we have received since the launch of DailyHive. Organize it in a manner that allows me to identify the most prominent problem. Run it through whomever you please before giving it to me. I don’t need to waste my time correcting your mistakes.”

There is an amused smile that bubbles beneath his otherwise stoic features. He cannot deny that there is, might he dare say, a cute quality about you as you manually scan through the received concerns on your laptop dating back to the initial beta tests – the ones that were lost in a data crash and only backed up with unintelligible scribblings of previous interns.

The moment you had been introduced as the new intern, you had caught his eye. You are exquisitely mundane, and perhaps the reason you had even caught him the first time was due to solely to the fact that you were older than most interns – himself even. Nevertheless, you continue to present him small surprises in your tenacity and capability to tackle challenges.

“Mr. Kim.”

His intercom comes alive with the voice of his secretary.

Seokjin’s eyes do not leave you as he answers.

“Mr. Hwang is on line two. Would you like me to defer him to a later time if you are currently busy?”

Seokjin cannot help but sigh. Hwang Junho, his co-founder, while a genius in international business is also a notorious chatterbox and gossip. There is seldom a reason for Junho to call him except to relay the cover titles of E!Magazine.

“Did he mention a reason for calling?” Seokjin inquires.

His secretary seems to be reading from a note. “He says it’s to do with the company. Something he read from Cosmopolitan this morning.”

So not E! but another sister celebrity gossip blog. He checks his watch and duly notes that he certainly has no meetings scheduled until later in the afternoon where your report would be needed to run a preliminary analysis.

“Sir?”

“Yes, put him through. But tell him I’ve got only five minutes, so he’s better give me the Cliffnotes version,” Seokjin sighs again.

Before he can be connected, Seokjin quickly says, “What’s the name of that intern again?”

“Who?” his secretary asks, “We’ve hired four since the beginning of the year.”

“The one who keeps wanting to poison me.”

“I’m sorry, Sir?” she sounds concerned.

“The one who keeps forgetting that I despise cinnamon.”

There is no response.

“The older one. Spilled coffee a while ago but still has enough coordination to pull together a decent report.”

“Ah,” she says.

He waits patiently as she searches through the database, eventually giving him your name. He gives a slight pause and then says, “Good. Now patch me with Junho.”

There is a momentary buzz as the call becomes connected in which Seokjin turns over the syllables of your name wordlessly.

“Mr. Kim. The man of the hour. How are you, my brother?” Junho’s baritone fills the office in a manner of seconds.

Despite the little annoying quirks, Seokjin cannot help but smile when hearing the voice of his best friend.

“You’ve got three minutes, Junho.”

Junho grumbles. “That’s not my fault. You were the one still on the line with your secretary. Is it still Yerin? ‘Cuz I won’t blame you if that’s the case. Did I catch you doing some naughty phone sex during office hours?”

“Two.”

“Holy hell. Fine. It’s always business with you. That’s why the tabloids are always writing you as an uptight asshole.”

This shifts Seokjin’s attention to the phone. His name is seldomly mentioned except for the features in business columns. He prefers to stay out of the limelight.

“What?”

“Put your name on Google.”

Seokjin does as he is told.

There are millions of results, but the first few pages share the same headline. He clicks on the first one with a grimace.

“Kim Seokjin. Mr. Worldwide Handsome as noted by his fans, has recently sparked Internet outrage.”

A quick skim of the otherwise trashy article brought to the surface a summary: his last dating scandal had ended badly and the repercussions of blowing off a famous celebrity’s daughter had finally caught up with him. The Internet was calling him arrogant, narrow-minded, and even greedy. “The young Chief Executive Officer of booming social media app DailyHive has been accused of using his relationship with actress XYZ to further his own business. Once he gained recognition from aforementioned relationship, he has cold-heartedly cast her away to pursue his next.” “You’re calling me for this bullshit?” Seokjin scoffs. Junho tuts his tongue loudly. “This is not bullshit. It’s affecting the image of your company. Do you think people want to download and support an app that is run by somebody who is being called cruel and dishonest? You’ve got to address this soon before it gets out of control. You’re lucky I have alerts set for these type of things. I caught it for you just in the nick of time.” Seokjin inhales deeply. “You’re also lucky that I’ve got the perfect solution in mind.” “That is?” “The Silver Gala,” Junho references the prestigious event. The Silver Gala is hosted annually and attended by the largest celebrities as well as other wealthy investors and guests. Those in the social circle shared between Seokjin and Junho often yearned for tickets to attend events such as this, as they serve as excellent networking opportunities. Besides the above, such events are circled by reporters and writers of gossip columns to get the exclusive scoop on any eyebrow-raising rumours. “The solution lies in such an event,” Junho continues, “You know how many people will be there. All you’ve got to do is show up with your average girl-next-door type and it’ll show how you’re actually really humble and down to earth. Kim Seokjin is perfectly capable of dating like any regular human being. He doesn’t use “love” or whatever to further his business. Love is the connection between two souls; two individuals who – ” “Beep. Your time has run out Junho. I’ve got another meeting scheduled right this moment,” Seokjin interrupts. “Dude, seriously. Think about it. You could bring Yerin. Everbody loves a good CEO and his secretary affair. And if that’s too juicy for you, I can introduce you to some girls. Or maybe we could go back to our university days and hit a bar, y’know?” Junho tries his best to persuade. “Fuck!” you swear beneath your breath right as you walk into Kim Seokjin’s office. His door had been open and, in your excitement to show your completed report, you had dropped all the loose papers on the ground. Four hours of organization gone, just like that. You hope that at least Seokjin hasn’t heard or noticed you as he had been engrossed in his phone call. Seokjin had in fact noticed you. He can’t help himself but follow the curvature of your bare shoulder as your bangs escape the hold of your scrunchie and sweep across your skin. “Don’t worry, Junho, I’ve just thought about it,” he says with a smile.

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maraudersftw · 3 years

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Hey! I was reading your answer where ud mentioned u took a break for 3 years while finishing hs/college. That's grt that you were able to! Cuz it is what I shud be doing but struggling immensely with. I only have a few months of hs left and it's so crucial that I focus on it but I just cant seem to overcome my addiction with social media, reading, etc. Its become such a vicious cycle of not studying and having panic attacks and so, I just wanted to know how you found the strength to do it or just any advice. It seems so simple but idky it feels near impossible😭 You can totally ignore this if it's too much, I was just losing my mind and ranted as a result :(

Hi, anon! Sorry it's taken me a while to respond to this, but it's only because I've been mulling over how to answer in a way that's helpful.

Honestly, social media addiction is a pretty common but big problem, and I don't claim to be an expert on the matter, so I welcome any of my mutuals to add on to this post with their own tips if they have any.

Personally, I've always been a very career-oriented person, so I seldom put anything before studying and school when I was a student. I mean, don't get me wrong, I still bunked my fair share of classes, dated, partied, etc. etc. but I never let things get to a point where my grades were in serious danger. So I'm not sure if my suggestions will help you any, but I'm still listing them down here, hoping you can at least find them somewhat useful ❤

Don't try to quit cold turkey, because it probably won't work. Reduce the amount of time you spend on social media every day gradually, until you don't need it anymore. Use one of those locking apps that don't let you access another app for a certain amount of time, if you think it'll help

When you're on study breaks, get up and walk around, fetch yourself a snack, go talk to a family member/friend, doodle, or literally just do anything other than open social media

Set study goals for yourself. Decide that you need to get through a particular chapter/topic within the hour and stick to it without looking at your phone. If you're tempted, just keep your phone in a different room so that you can't keep checking it absent-mindedly

Use writing/reading/social media as a reward for yourself after you have completed your studying for the day. It can act as a good motivator if you tell yourself that you'll get to relax and enjoy just as soon as you're done studying for the day!

If it really comes down to it, keep telling yourself how hard you've worked to get here, what you have to lose if you don't pull this off just because you're distracted by social media. This is not the best strategy, but if a negative motivator works better for you, then use this

Delete the apps that really tempt you, if you need to. Honestly, you can return back to social media and pick up where you left off literally years later and it won't be a big deal. Everyone who admires and loves you will understand that you need to put your life before everything else

Invest time in other hobbies that are not quite as addicting to help you cope with the loss of social media. Maybe listen to some music as you study, read a chapter of some book before you're about to sleep, paint or draw something when you need a break, go for a run or just dance around. Anything to keep you busy!

These are all I can think of right now because it's really late here, and my brain is fried, but I really hope you feel better soon, anon 💖💖💖

#asks #anon #claudia answers

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ask-elliotgang · 2 years

Note

What's your inspiration for your characters?

a mix between traumatizing events that have shaped me into a person and various media's i consume.

sometimes its as simple as "i want to design something" then give the character lore and a name later.

this is gonna be a long one jeez. i like to ramble sorry;;;

like commonly i will exist in a stance where im doing nothing but sitting/standing/lying in a comfy position and i completely detach from everything around me and completely indulge myself in my thoughts in a form of maladaptive daydreaming.

i'll think of events that have happened to me recently or in the past that have mentally affected me recently, or an unlocked memory that i forgot about that would trouble me, and id think about what i want different, what id want to happen that didnt, wanting something that will lead to a good end, and design a character about it.

i'll open my drawing program and design a ref in a trance where i forget about my physical needs. ignoring stomach pains or my body pleading for water or something because at this time o need to get the idea out of my head and into a form of art or character, even if i have to open a google doc and write notes about it that will seem completely unintelligible later because if i dont then the thoughts about it become louder and its too hard to focus on anything else i need to do eg, if i needed to go shopping or visit someone.

or sometimes ill grab a character design ive made and start folding my trauma into them and weave it into a story in a way to cope. for example this blog originally existed as a place where id do low effort doodles of some funny little pokemon ocs with bland basic concepts.

then id overthink and get bored and start projecting. for example i shoved a lot of trauma relating to my journey with being a trans man and other things, one main one is problems that come with being a people pleaser. and i had that as a concept and slowly would watch media and grab bits n bops from it and expand elliot into more of his character that has an original storyline with parts of me sewn into it at points

so eventually all my ocs are their own lil guys but with parts of my experiences still in them

and i hope you all will enjoy more of expanding onto the other characters of this blog that ive done this way aswell! sorry for the long read lol

#ooc #mod mak #munday #text heavy

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dalamjisung · 4 years

Text

bedroom ceiling ✽ bang chan

word count: 2623

genre: angst

pairing: bang chan x reader

description: you type and delete and type and delete and wonder when will you finally send.

[inspired on the song BEDROOM CEILING by SODY: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IbUOL39weZY]

Hey.

Hey

…

You delete the message once again. The blue and grey bubbles taunting you as you sigh and toss to the other side, eyes falling on the alarm clock. A present, but you rather not remember that. 3:14AM, it says, and you really wish you could convince yourself that the clock is wrong and that it’s barely midnight.

“I need sleep,” You murmur, almost like a plea to the emptiness that surrounds you.

Your window, big and open, allows the outside light to shine in the small room. The moon is barely a sliver, looking like a tired eye that is barely open. His eyes used to be bright like that, even when he was tired. You shake your head, trying to avoid every and all memories of him; of his eyes and his smile.

“I need to sleep,” You repeat yourself, tears stuck on your throat, pressuring the feelings you’ve been keeping in, out. “Please let me sleep.”

You roll onto your back, eyes boring holes in your ceiling. You observe its unmoving whiteness, its constant sameness and you can’t help but wonder why hasn’t it changed? Why am I the only one that’s changed? Your phone shines and you grab it so fast that it almost flies out of your hand. A message, although not from him. Wheein, your best friend, has been texting you for almost two weeks in a row, wondering what’s going on, why don’t you pick up, why is he avoiding her, why, why why why– but you don’t know. You don’t know why every time the phone rings is another cut to your heart, and you don’t know why you know it’s not him calling. You don’t know why he left and left his things, and you don’t know why leaving the house feels like leaving him, so you just stay in. But you can’t tell her that; it would only upset her, and you don’t know why you should care, but maybe it’s because that’s the only thing you have to care about right now. There are many ‘don’t know’s’ and ‘maybe’s’ and you like to think that it’s not just you.

These walls, you think, looking around your room. No more frames or unreleased posters on the walls. No more doodles on the door or the floor or the window. No more CD’s or demos or music sheets. No more him or his friends or your friends. These walls know a lot. More than our friends combined. What would Wheein say if she saw me like this, typing things that I’ll never have the courage to send? What would she do? If she saw what these walls did, what would she do?

In the end, you fall asleep from exhaustion at six in the morning. The sun wakes you up, though, a couple of hours later, and once again, you call work to tell them that you are still feverish and that by Monday you should be all healed. You’re expected to, anyways. The day goes by in a rush, and you spend the day typing and deleting and typing and deleting and typing and deleting and. And then you switch to your notes, and you type and type and type and you don’t need to delete anything because no one will ever see this. No one should.

You left today. First me, then the room. Through the hallway, then out the door, and then out the building. You left in a snowy night when I needed you to stay warm, and I think I’ll always remember that when I see snow. How you left. Today.

I miss you. I tried to text you this today but decided not to. You must be, or at least should be, hurting too– if not for me, then for the three years you lost on me. I prefer to think that you’re hurting for me, but it’s okay if you’re not. Really.

I tried to text you today. I gave up after ‘hey.’ You left so I should respect that, right? You chose leaving, and I guess I chose letting you go. I just thought you should know I regret it. I’ve been regretting it… everyday. I miss you, but I don’t think that counts for much now, anyways. Good luck on whatever you’re doing, wherever you are.

The list goes on and on with unsend crafted texts and you follow your ritual of reading them all again, hoping to sleep. You don’t sleep at night, but you still hope to. Sleeping is the only time you have that your heart doesn’t hurt, that your mind doesn’t think, and that you soul doesn’t cry. You wonder if he feels the same but then you remember all the times you two fought over his bad sleeping habits and his overworking tendencies; and you achieve what you want.

Once again, you cry yourself to sleep.

————————————

The doorbell rings and you feel anxious. It’s been two weeks and some days since your routine of nothingness has been broken and opening the door for an unknown visitor counts as a disturbance.

“Who is it?” You shout from the safety of your living room.

“You better open up, Y/N Y/L/N,” Wheein voice is muffled but you’d recognize it anywhere. “Or so help me god, I will kick this door down.”

You run to obey her, knowing that she isn’t lying. You open up a sliver, at first, afraid of her reaction to your physical appearance; you have dark circles under your eyes and you clearly lost weight. You know your friend to make a big deal out of issues and although you know it’s only because she cares, you son’t have the energy to sit down with her and explain everything.

“Bitch, you better let me in,” She seethes. “For your own good.”

Sighing, you obey once again, swinging the door open. Her gasp is ridiculously loud and, if possible, makes you feel even worse.

“Why didn’t you call me?”

You frown. Why didn’t you?

“I don’t know…” You mumble, suddenly embarrassed for not relying on her when you needed the most.

“You don’t know?!” She repeats, voice softening out of offense. “I called Felix to know what was going on… and imagine my surprise when he tells me that Chan up and left!”

“Wheein–“

“No,” She interrupts, hand in front of you. “I know what you are going to say. It wouldn’t bother me. It wouldn’t upset me. It wouldn’t anger me. Y/N, and your boyfriend just left. You don’t talk to your family and you are to shy to talk to other people about your private life. Who are you going to rely on if not your best friend? This is what I’m here for, love. For you!”

“I’m sorry,” You apologize, voice choked up with tears. No matter how much you cry, you just can’t get used to the feeling of crying. “I’m so sorry, but I felt so lost and alone and I didn’t know what to do.”

“What do you mean?” Wheein grabs your hand and takes you to your couch. You look at her, but you don’t really feel like you’re seeing her.

You don’t have to be alone if you don’t want to, you think to yourself, trying to focus.

“I let him leave,” You mumble, closing your eyes tightly. “I didn’t know what to then and I let him leave and it feels as if he took me with him and left… this.”

“Y/N, all you had to do was call me,” She says, hugging you close.

“I can’t sleep,” You tell her. As if you open a gate, you tell her everything. “I can’t eat, I can’t focus, I can’t do anything. If I don’t make myself cry myself to exhaustion, I stay awake all night, replaying the fight, and then the pointing, and the blaming. I see him leave, every night. I hear his voice and his laughter and his cry and I just feel like I’m going insane.”

“I’m going to assume you haven’t talked to him ever since…” She whispers. You lay down, head on her lap as she caresses your hair.

“I haven’t,” You confirm. “I tried texting him, but it all ends up on my notes and I just can’t do it. I’m ashamed. That I didn’t fight. For him. Me… us.”

“It’s not on you, Y/N,” Wheein tries to reassure you. “It really isn’t.”

“It sure feels like it is,” You blink, trying to stay awake, but soon succumbing to her comforting kindness.

“But–“

“I prefer it to be my fault then his,” You yawn. “I don’t want him hurting, Wheein. Ever.”

She just nods, head falling back and you just know she’s doing her damn best not to cry for you. You chuckle lightly, finally feeling tired enough to sleep. You feel your friend moving after what feels like a couple of hours but you don’t pay her much attention, assuming she’s leaving for the night.

The day follows like the other ones, with the addition of Wheein. She is surprisingly supportive of your sedentary coping mechanisms and joins you in your third Friends marathon since the break up. The sun shines bright today, and you can’t help but zone out while your friend points at something that Rachel did. You can’t remember the last time you actually went out and enjoyed the sun, so you reach out, fingers dancing through the rays as if you had to move it around to feel the familiar warmth you crave so much. You don’t– feel it, that is, and you let out a disappointed chuckle. What are you expecting? Some guidance? Some comfort, from this bright ball of fire? A memory, perhaps? Like the one of you two in the park on your birthday and–

“Y/N?” Wheein calls. “Are you listening?”

“Huh?” You look at her, eyes wide in surprise. “Sorry, were you saying something?”

She smiles a sad type of smile and you hate it. The pity make you feel even worse.

“Yeah,” She nods to the center table. “Your phone.”

You look at the device and shakes you head.

“I’ll see it later.”

“You might wanna see it now.”

You look at her suspiciously. “Why?”

She just shrugs. “Because.”

You shake your head again. “Later.”

For some reason, you don’t feel anxious anymore. Just fear.

Fear because you are either over it, or you gave up. And both of those make you want to cry.

————————————

Jeongin: Noona, he’s not well.

Jeongin: Noona, please call him. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

Jeongin: Noona, please. I’m scared. He is angry and sad and I’m pretty sure he’ll collapse anytime now.

Jeongin’s messages really test your strength. You want to comfort the young boy, but at the same time you know that that’s not your task anymore. They are his family. They are supposed to comfort him. You have to understand that. You try– you really do– but you can’t help but miss those boys. Jisung and his silly jokes that piss off Hyunjin; Felix and Changmin bickering like two brothers; Seungmin clinging to Jeongin.

And you miss him. You miss Bang Chan and how he mothers the boys around. How he always demands the best of his members, but is also the first one to offer a hand for any difficulties they might stumble upon. You miss his stubbornness and the many times you had to carry him to bed from his make-shift studio in your apartment’s coffee table. You miss how he hogs all the covers and instead of sharing them, pulls you closer to cuddle, and you especially miss how he wakes you up every morning when he tries to sneak back out to work. You wonder who’s forcing him to sleep since you’re not there to cling onto his limbs and force him to sleep just thirty more minutes.

Who takes care of him now? Who remembers him of his meals? Who makes him go to sleep? Once Chan starts working, it’s really hard for him to take a break. Who remembers him of that?

Y/N: I’m sorry. If he doesn’t want me to contact him, there is nothing I can do, Jeongin.

Jeongin: Who said he doesn’t want you to?

Y/N: He is the one that left. That says enough.

You put the phone away and decide to take a shower. It’s been a while since you truly enjoyed the feeling of the scorching hot water falling on your back, and you stay there until the water isn’t hot anymore and the day isn’t ending anymore– it’s over. You get dressed on sweats that are too right for you and you can’t help but miss his oversized hoodies and how they felt as if you were being constantly cuddled. The bed feels cold and hard but you don’t care, exhaustion finally washing over your body.

Hands moving to the phone in the corner of the bed, it’s almost as if your finger involuntarily open the text message app, typing and deleting and typing and deleting and. You take a deep breath; and type. And type and type and send. It doesn’t feel as cathartic as you’d wish, but it feel like something– something important. You know he’s not gonna answer, at least not tonight, since he’s probably drowning himself in work, so you open the chat again, finger caressing your blue bubbles.

I stay up late and I talk to the moon

And I can't stop telling him all about you

Wonder if you do the same thing I do

Your constant companion shines through the window once again, offering you some dim light, enough to allow you to see shadows of the objects in your room, but not enough for you to know what is what. Is that how he felt with you? Could he tell you loved him? Or did you dim your emotions?

These four white walls they know more than my friends

They watch me type messages I'll never send

This is the place that I just can't pretend to be alright

The memories of him in your bed come back, and you smile, nostalgia taking the place of hurt. Chan always said that inside those four walls, you didn’t have to pretend. Happiness, sadness, anger, regret. You could feel it all. And now here you are, wishing you didn’t, actually, felt all of those. How ironic.

Is your bedroom ceiling bored like mine?

Of you staring at it all the time

'Cause it's seen so many nights

Where I cry and I yell at the sky

For not telling you how I feel

Does he? Does he stare at his ceiling, his walls, and feels as embarrassed as you? As impotent? Does he regrets walking out as much as you regret not going after him? You should’ve said, should’ve shouted, should’ve cried– you should’ve something. Hiding is never the answer. Chan loved you with all he had, and yet, you were always too closed, too shy to love him back. It wasn’t fair. So now you let him be. He chose to leave and you don’t blame him; you blame yourself instead.

You almost put the phone down for the night, finger hovering over the side button, when you see it. The grey bubble.

…

Hey.

--------------------------------------

Heya lovelies! How is everyone doing? I hope you all enjoy this story... I’ve been feeling really down lately and got inspired to write this :P Please please please let me know what you think, you’re comments always make my day❤️ love you all and thank you for always supporting me!

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peachymess · 4 years

Note

hi! your art is fantastic! i was wondering - how long does it take for you to finish an art work?

Thank you! ^^

And it varies greatly. Speed is my biggest obstacle when it comes to art. I could lie and say I doodle out stuff in an hour – or I could call half bad drawings I spent hours on, a “doodle”. Sometimes I think I do – but for me, “doodle” is more about how seriously I took the job. If I throw down lines and squiggles and do some line-arting on top without really caring about the details, that’s a doodle to me, even if I then proceed to spend hours on correcting lines, getting the colors right, and trying out different filters for every experimental shadow.

Over all, I spend a lot of time on drawing, and I mean a lot. But I’m getting better! They say you’ve gotta make 50 bad pieces for every good one (simplified, but you get the gist), so you’re best served not spending days on every piece. What I’ve found helps, is to not get overly invested in every piece. It’s a little sad, because you gotta have your heart in the art, right? Yeah. But that heart should be in your love for the craft and your enjoyment in performing it; not in one specific piece and its need to be perfect. Sure, some pieces are special, but if you can’t distinguish between your magnum opus and just your average drawing, every single drawing will feel equally important to you, and that will slow you down from the sheer weight of it.

Pro tip I wish someone would have told me a long time ago: nobody looks as closely at your drawings as you do (talking about the general public; loving friends might).

In other words, painfully slaving over details you find only when you zoom in,… ant nobody gonna tell the difference. Unless you’re insanely good and got 50K on insta, aint nobody gonna zoom in on all your work and look for the easter eggs you put in there (@me, lol). Learn what’s important to spend time on, and what can be left alone. If I had been given back all the time I’ve wasted on details that nobody even sees… I could have made a lot more art lol.

Learn what matters – like general proportions, interesting expression, big things that people could pick out from a distance. And story! Oh boy, don’t get me started on story! Unless you’re really good, people usually won’t be impressed with just a head shot with no story. Armin smiling generically into the void in ¾ view, no background?

“Cool. But I’ve seen a million generic Armins like it. Why should I be invested in this one in particular?”

Say something with your art, make me feel or think something. Because with so many good artists out there, it’s hard to get ahead on just the aesthetics alone. Make a joke. Show something mid-action (like someone slipping on a banana peel; instantly more engaging than a static pose that tells no story).

Why am I being so harsh? It all ties back to speed… Once you realize that your pieces, generally, aren’t that big of a deal, you can hopefully put aside some of that anxiety over it having to be perfect. It doesn’t have to be, and the details you spend an extra two days on will rarely matter to anyone but yourself (which is ok, I just want you to be aware. If you’re very proud of something, maybe point it out to invite people to pay attention to it. But otherwise, they probably won’t look at your drawing for that long before deciding to reblog or move on). If you enjoy making those details, please go ahead! Art should be about what YOU like to do, at the end of the day. But if your speed ties into your perceived self-worth, like it does with me,… well, I got a lot faster once I realized that nobody really cares all that strongly. (Though, I’m in no way discrediting all the support and love I receive, guys, thank you – truly. I’m talking in the grand scheme of things. Art is a lot more personal to the artist, than to the random scroller-by).

How many of you would stop being my friend or suddenly dislike me just because I draw Armin with a wonky nose and disproportionate arms sometimes? Yeah, no, if I put out an unfortunate piece, so what? (Hell, if I can tell a funny joke with it, you might even enjoy it all the same!) Once I learned to understand that every piece is not a blaring spotlight on me where all eyes will be on me and my mistakes, I got faster.

… and with that insanely long prologue, here’s how much time I generally spend:

The first art I started (in 2016), took over a year to finish.

Though, in the meantime, I think I put out a “doodle”. I call it a doodle because I intentionally simplified the anatomy so it would be easier to make – but this one still took me four months to finish!

(The above images took me a year, and 4 months respectively).

In other words, in 2016, my average was MONTHS – on just one drawing! Keep in mind, I quit art for ten years before this, just from how much anxiety is gave me over my self worth (if I made one bad line, it meant I was worthless).

In 2017, I think my average was weeks. I had to take breaks between sessions a lot just to cope with the building anxiety. I look at the finished products now and I think “look how few steps this needed. With how much time I spent, I must have averaged one single brush stroke an hour”. And it’s probably about right. Although, I did manage to finish one drawing in a single day, and I remember being really proud of that!

(Above, the first one is an example of stuff I’d tinker with for weeks, while the second one is the one I completed in a day due to it being his birthday and the pressure was on to get it done)

In 2018, I think my average was 2 or 3 days. I put out more smaller pieces, stuff that doesn’t need to be as elaborate. At my peak, I think I could do two of those meme-things per day. Looking back, though, I can see a clear difference between time spent on “doodles” and time spent on projects I put my heart into. I spent days on the eremin week entries, for example. This was the year I started to learn to tier my projects.

(The above shows an art I admittedly spent over a week on, much thanks to the needless details in the bottles, while the second is one of two pieces I completed during one day)

In 2019, I don’t think I shortened down my average a lot, but looking through my gallery now, I see that I started doing more elaborate pieces. So… if I spend as long as before, but get bigger and better content out of it, that’s improvement too!

(Above you’ll see an art that probably took me a couple of days - 4 or 5 maybe? - and the second once which took me an hour I think? A good example of how much better i’ve gotten at tiering projects and not being afraid of making sloppy art just for the fun of it).

So far in 2020, I’ve only drawn for Armin week, and I spent an evening to a day on each one of them. After finishing one, I’d uploading it to my drafts, then lie in bed and scrutinize it, zooming in, looking and looking. Then the next morning, I’d get up and spend an average of an hour fixing/editing them because I was getting increasingly displeased with them. So I think on average… god honest truth, even if I’m a little self-conscious about it, I think I spend an average of 8 - 18 sitting hours on anything. This includes the revisions.

(Above you’ll see the entry I spent the most time on first - I’m guessing probably 12 sitting hours - and the one I spent the least time on - I’m guessing 5 hours)

I love drawing, but it’s very hard for me. I’ve used drawing as my main source of personal self-improvement for the last couple of years - for many reasons; it has a lot of lessons to teach me. It’s not always fun, and it’s rarely easy. But.. uh. It’a been worth it? I don’t know what your art journey is, but I hope this gave you some help, inspiration or comfort. Good luck and draw with heart, not fear.

#art #personal #drawing #art struggles

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awkward-octopus-art · 4 years

Text

I’ll never write this perfectly. But the concept of perfection is the enemy, so by letting it go, I allow myself the opportunity to actually do things with my life (I also allow myself to never shut up and to continue talking about it-yay😂)

Big cheesy waffle warning: I will be info dumping my thoughts surrounding the doodle above. Many bad metaphors to avoid blunt vulnerability ahead.

A few years ago, my relationship with art changed drastically. It’s hard to describe, but as I worked it seemed like something in my brain was being mended. Indulging different parts of my creativity was healing. It didn’t solve my problems but this new little excitement was born. There was no need for a fire to be reignited because the embers were dazzling and that was enough to ground me in some sort of sanity.

But the thing that didn’t change were the unhealthy coping mechanisms🙃 (Although, I am grateful that they became more apparent because then I could stop being in denial about them.) As it turns out, Art was just another way to ride the highs and lows of my self-esteem👍my sense of self obsessively clung to my artwork and the reaction I got from it. When this aspect of life was amplified, the consequences seemed really great but then the highs just weren’t worth the lows anymore. It took me a bit to realize that the highs and lows were related and that this wasn’t exactly new.

Looking back I can see that Art was the foundation I built a lot of my identity and self worth from. Whenever my identity of being an artist was compromised, I went into panic mode as if my entire existence was collapsing. In order to combat this and start building again, I was competing with the idea that every single thing I made had to entirely represent me. The hypothetical scenario was that if one person only saw one piece of artwork from me, it had to be the best thing I’ve made because their entire perception of my existence depended on the one thing they saw. This limiting mindset is so exhausting and extremely counter-productive because it just causes more stress and unneeded crises. 10/10 do not recommend, especially since it prevents you from even starting projects. (Maybe God knew what He was doing, because if I was ever not haunted by the idea of perfection, I would probably be too powerful.)

Even though I am grateful for how far I've come with skill and the ability to make the things I've always wanted to make, I do miss how I used to draw and have fun doing it when I was a lot younger. I would just power-through paper like the embodiment of “non-stop” from hamilton (drawing pixar characters is the same as writing the majority of the federalist papers if you didn’t know.) I never spent more than one sitting on a drawing and I didn’t agonize over every little detail. (no thoughts, head empty, every-single-piece-of-paper-in-sight? full.) drawing was like an instinct, and I had just so much fun? (I still do have fun making things, there’s just more angst now lol) it was beautifully simple really, and totally, innocently selfish. Selfish in the way that breathing is. Even though it’s the thing that allows you to connect to the world and other people benefit from you breathing, you are your lungs’ number one priority.

And Art is still that way for me-I am my number one priority. Yes, I love communities, and making things for others (and commissions are VERY cool 😉) but if I didn’t create, regardless of the benefits the world gives me, I just couldn’t be a human being. I don’t know if any of this makes sense, but basically, Art is ultimate me time 😂

So the anxiety sucks, and I wondered if over-compensating in the opposite direction would help. I did not dwell on that idea for very long because severing the ties between Art and my entire identity didn’t make much sense? Especially when I JUST compared it to breathing 😂 But Art isn’t the bad guy, it’s the reaction to it that needs to change.

So this is the answer I came up with for now: I want to speak through my artwork, not let my art speak for me. My art doesn’t “make up” for my existence and imperfections. I don’t deserve to let myself hide behind a literal crafted distraction. I’m throwing away this shield that enables the lie that I am disappointing and boring (It really had the audacity, I know 😤)

Anyways, the more I think about it, the more it seems painfully obvious, bUt iTs EaSiEr sAiD tHaN dOnE. That’s why I’m posting this here. It’s a reminder to focus on what I'm trying to say-not what I'm trying to hide. If I am not actively steering my brain into this mindset, I will I fall into the downward spirals that I've maintained over the years. So this drawing represents all that and more. Hopefully posting this will help when my brain starts to lie again. This is a struggle I am enthusiastic to deal with, because I refuse to hide behind something I should and do thoroughly enjoy.

My brain does not plan to ever stop overthinking, so I might as well enjoy writing and drawing about it again and again (and that’s a threat lol)

I’ve written this thing way too many times, I hope it is decipherable and relatable in some way. I think being a bit vulnerable is a good thing, and I hope future me is severely embarrassed that I posted this. If you took the time to read all this, or any of this, I really appreciate it.

#i dont think ive posted on this tumblr in like a year lol #hello!!#artists on tumblr #art #micron pen #micron #pen

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kylejourney · 4 years

Text

Coping Skills Tips

Hello world I am strongly recommended coloring! You probably think it is stupid or lame. Whatever your opinion is I am strong recommended coloring. You probably wonder why because it is one of coping skills! It helps relax stress and help with boredom! I am glad I started again because I had stress relaxation and times goes fast so I do not get bored. It will benefit you a lot! Think about it you can give coloring papers to your family or friends. I do color pages in paper protectors in the binder to give my family members for Christmas. It cheaper honest but it is good present!! I enjoyed coloring. When you have anxiety or stress you should try coloring. If you find that is not helping you do not worry, I can recommend other coping skills. I suggest you write down on the list or cards of what coping skills. Also, I suggest you do with coping thoughts too. I do the index cards with the ring so I can look at them any time I needed to.

Ok I am also strongly recommended journaling if you love to write why not write in the journal? I am suggesting you have separated journals one for personal and one for your counselor. If you are in counseling, it helps your counselor understand more. You do not have to tell them anything that why you should have separated ones. I do that so my counselor understand me better. If you do better express in writing, then you should do it. If writing is not your thing then you can make a video of yourself then show to your counselor. I tried that but I did not like it.

Stress toys or stress balls. You can take it any time to work, driving, school, and any places. It easy to carry and can be in your pocket. Just try find one that do not do annoying noises. When I had fidget toy in class trip people who made a speech can hear it. So, I was bothering them. I think most hospital have them just try to ask!

Aroma therapy you buy the light. You pour a little water in it and do two drops of essential oils. Yeah then you need to turn it on too. Lavender is good for anxiety and pain. It is most popular people use. Try not get some essential that not good for cats and dogs. They have some essential oils that not good for dogs and cats. So, you should look it up online or borrow library book. Also, you can buy the bracelet if you do not want buy light. You do two drops on your bracelet and it get smell. If it gives you strong headache do not do it next time or use different essential oils. There some essential oils rolls for pain like headache. You can look it up more about that. Just try not near to cats and dogs.

Blogging! If you have a lot of ideas or stories why not share it? What about write a short book? Maybe write a poem? Maybe make up a joke? Being creative is fun! If you struggle with English like I do you should try do English workbook. Start with level 1 if needed. It is not harmed to teach yourself English! Amazon has these English workbooks. Also, you can google ideas but do not steal people’s ideas. So be creative! What about write a letter or write a email?

Play with bubbles! If its nice day I suggested, you play with bubbles. It is fun to me! You can get bubbles wand or whatever. You do not have to blow bubble wands but if you get to blow bubbles try deep breath slowly and blow. Try not breathing fast because when I do it will not blow. So, try slowing it down. Why not become a bubble artist?

Workout or move around. I suggest when you are stressed move around or workout. It helps you make feel good. Even if you are depressed too. You can even sit and move your arms and legs. There much yoga on YouTube you can try. If possible, you can go to swim and do exercise because it is low impact. Walking should help too. If you have watch or Fitbit, you can track your steps but not be hard on yourself if you do not do a lot of steps. You can dance around randomly like no one watching. It is silly but fun. Join in sports if possible.

Doodling, sketching, painting, etc. If you are a talented artist why not sell your stuff or share your ideas? My friend has her art page where she sells art things. What about set up account about your art? If you cannot draw just start and learn!

Deep breathing! There some different ways to deep breathing like star and 4-7-8. Your counselor can help with that or you can learn yourself from the app. Try think about how you breathe not other stuff in your head. Focus how deep breathe you do and find a place that people cannot bother you. You should find comfortable place like on couch or floor. I saw the school once had place for stressed person to do deep breath. It hard to start but you will get it. You do not always have to close your eyes. Even if at school or work you feel stressed take a moment deep breathe. Be careful when you are driving!

Talk to your close friends or family. When you feel need someone talk to. I suggest you find right person for that. I am thankful I have some support people you should try find one too. If they will not listen, you or not support you then they are not for you. Call the crisis line if you do not have someone talk to and you feel like want to hurt yourself or kill yourself. Like I said writing in journal also helps.

Make videos or take pictures. If you want to be a model or actor. Start practicing and small steps help. You can ask people for their advice. Follow people on social media. You can look up more about that I do not know much about that. But making YouTube channel is good step too.

Take a bath or shower. When you are depressed and do not shower or bath for few days. Do it and you will feel a little better. You will find yourself cleaner and fresher which is good thing! Maybe people said, “Ooh you smell so good!” Also, you should brush your teeth daily you do not want to have cavity trust me. When you have teeth pain it hurt like hell. The cheek gets swollen and ear hurts too. Try not eating too much candy because it delays your teeth from the chemical. I strong suggest you brush your teeth twice daily and floss!

Do whatever coping skills that help you. If you find whatever coping skill help you should do it, but smoking, drugging, drinking, and binge eating are bad coping skills. If you find good coping skills, then that is good! I made many coping skills tips and if you are in counseling and struggling. That is okay because it almost takes me almost two years to do coping skills better. It will happen for you too. You will depend on coping skills better. Also, I will explain about promise and motivated. If you want do workout today you promise yourself, you will do it. That is means you do it because you promised. Then you will feel better. So, if you depend on motivated you may not do it and you may feel not good. If you broke promise with yourself just forgive yourself and move on. Try do more promise than depend on motivated.

I hope it helps and you enjoy reading it! 😊

#copingskills

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averagesmw · 5 years

Text

Penny Haywood x MC- Doodles and scribbles

Game: Harry Potter Hogwarts Mystery

____________________

Doodles and scribbles

It was a nice day in Hogwarts, felt like any other, with not many troubles to go around, well, there was that rumour about magical creatures running around in castle grounds, but I haven't seen any

Currently, I was on my way to the potions classroom to get to the lesson of the day, when just around the corner, I bumped into someone in particular

It was Y/N L/N, the charming student I've dubbed "the star of Hogwarts", for more reasons than the obvious ones

But there was something wrong about their appearance, their clothes were slightly tattered, messed with, and they had cuts on their hands and even one on their left cheek

"Merlin's beard, Y/N! What happened to you?"

They didn't even stop to look at me, instead, they gave me an answer while running away, in a hurry to complete something, it would seem

"No time to explain, going to help Hagrid, talk to you later!"

... alright then

I would obviously have to investigate just what was going on, but later, I still had a class to attend, and my favourite, nonetheless

Just as I was about to take my leave, however, I spotted something in the ground, a small notebook, no, more like a journal. It had witnessed the progress of time, but it was well kept, for the most part. Curiosity got the better of me and I chose to pick it up

It was so intriguing, there was no name of who the owner might be, but upon inspecting the notes written here, I was able to recognize the author just fine

This was Y/N's journal, they must've dropped it when they ran away. Funny, I didn't even know they had one, but given everything that they have experienced here, it was logical they needed something to help them cope with bitterness or tragedy

I... guess I would have to keep it safe with me until I see them again, Y/N did seem to be in quite a hurry anyway

Without further due, I went ahead and took my class to continue with the day

At first, everything was alright, the potion we had to brew was quite easy for me, so easy that I had plenty of time to spare once I finished mine and got points for my house for that

...and now I found myself bored

Perhaps it was the routine or lack of any deadly threat lurking around, but I couldn't find myself enjoying this class as much as I usually did

And it was there that one of my demons manifested itself, the overwhelming sense of curiosity, not staying down no matter how hard I tried to drown its voice

It was aching to see what secrets lied within the pages of the journal I had just found. Normally I wouldn't care about a journal that much, just for the sake of gossip

But this was Y/N L/N, a person so vast that you might feel like you know them well enough to write a biography, only for yet another astonishing fact to pop up just a couple of seconds later

Of course, I wanted to know their opinion on so many things, and who knows? Maybe I'll find my answers there and--

No, no, what kind of friend would I be if I snooped through their personal notes?

It was a battle of wills going on in both my mind and heart, my eyes going back and forth between the journal pocketed in my robes and the class itself

I mean...Y/N has made it quite clear that they trust me with their life, literally sometimes. I don't think they'd mind if I take just a quick peek at it

...right?

Just when I was starting to express curiosity, I found myself already holding the journal, and even worse, opening it. Forgive me, Y/N

My eyes glued to its contents, the journal transported me to another time just seconds after starting to read it. The first page had the same date as the day we first stepped into Hogwarts itself! They must've bought it to write down their experiences in this school

Can't blame them for that, Hogwarts does promise an endless supply of adventures, both death-defying and normal ones

I sighed, finally putting my curiosity to rest as I began reading the first entry

September 1st, 1984

This is it, the day I finally get to study in Hogwarts! I can hardly keep my hand from shaking, the emotion is overwhelming!

The entire day was quite magical, auntie Jane took me to eat the most delicious breakfast I've had in months, dad even sent me a letter congratulating me for being enrolled

It would be much better if he had shown up to say it, but I understand his work keeps him from even leaving

But then again, I was not the only one excited for this, he and auntie bought me this journal to write all my adventures in that school

So I better write the best of the best in this!

This is the day I've waited years for, to visit the school where my parents studied, and get to make my own adventure

Just you wait, Jacob, I'm on my way!

...The entry concludes here

I...I honestly didn't know how I feel about this. On one hand, it was cute to see how excited Y/N was, the page contained so much raw emotion, almost like a child, and it was so cute

On the other hand, however, I can't help but feel terribly sorry their experience, seeing as it turned out much more sour than what they were expecting, especially under so many promises of happiness

It brings up the question, how does Y/N manage to maintain that hopeful, cheerful attitude after all of this? Maybe I could ask them...

"Class dismissed"

Professor Snape's unmistakable voice wrecked my train of thought, no way I would stay reading something as personal as this in this classroom. I was on Snape's good side, but I doubt he would trust me that much

I gathered my things and left for the library, a place actually intended for reading. I was so immersed in my own thoughts about this entry, that I barely even noticed the people around me

This was astounding, the first entry of this journal and I already learned something big!

But it does make sense, Y/N has never been one to bring up the family during a conversation, but this? This deals exactly with it, I can't stop now

Giving it no second thought, I made my way to the library and sat immediately to continue reading, opening the journal once again, and hopefully, with fewer interruptions other than Snape's ominous voice

The next entries where much shorter, but certainly numerous, mainly dealing with Y/n's experience with their respective house, their prefect helping them dealing with Merula and the consequent duel with her, that ended up being how we met

Hey, there's a small entry on me as well!

September 15th, 1984

Just after my duel with Merula, I was summoned to discuss what happened, but along the way, I was stopped by the most popular girl in school, Penny Haywood!

I have to say, her reputation does precede her, only five minutes of chatting with her and I already liked her. Who knows? Maybe I'll get a chance to talk to her after dealing with the vault that keeps cursing the school

...Well, we certainly got to talk again, and I even got to help Y/N break the curse of the ice plaguing Hogwarts. I have to admit it, I was a bit nervous when I first chose to approach them, but it's nice to see how well they took it!

The feeling of understanding Y/N like this was like being taught how to brew your first potion, a feeling so strong, or at least in my case, unforgettable

I mean, not even when we ate lunch together did I get them to talk so much about themselves

My, so much learning, so many different ways to see things, people and even the events from the perspective of the one student who got to deal with it first hand!

Out of the corner of my eyes, I spotted Rowan Khana, Y/N's best friend and local book lover, but also, a friend of mine. They brought along a huge book and sat next to me

"Hello, Penny! How are you today?"

Unlike with Snape, I was able to gather my thoughts quickly enough for it to look natural, and so I greeted Rowan with the usual "Haywood" charisma

"Hello Rowan, I'm fine, what is that you have there?" I asked using the book as an obvious distraction, but also, out of curiosity

"Oh, I'm studying a little earlier for our O.W.Ls, you can never be too prepared"

My friend stated proudly, but then I saw them stare at the little book in my hands. Oh no

"Is that?..."

I got nervous immediately after I saw how shocked Rowan was by this, meaning this journal must be as important to Y/N as I thought. However, in order to keep us both from being kicked out of the library, I tried my best to keep my voice down

"I-I can explain it, it fell from Y/N's pocket a-and I...well...-" Smooth, Penny, real smooth

Rowan made a gesture that caught me off guard even more, a smirk. They threw their hands up in surrender and kept a cool demeanor

"...I believe you will take care of it for Y/N, just don't abuse its contents, alright?"

By Merlin, for a moment I genuinely thought there was going to be trouble because of this, but clearly, Rowan knew me better than that

"Of course! Thank you, Rowan, I owe you one"

They just smiled back at me and took the book they needed, then they wrote something on a piece of paper and passed it to me before standing up and leaving. I looked at the note, found myself surprised by what it said

"You might want to check page 47, though"

This behavior from them told me Rowan knew so much more about either the journal or Y/N that I didn't, and maybe they wanted me to discover it for myself

...Who am I to decline a challenge, then?

There were plenty of other entries after that, mainly detailing Y/n's dealings with the cursed vault of ice, the way it was written could put many novelists to shame, although there were some things that were best kept in the dark

Y/N had always been a busy student, it worries me a bit just how little time do they have to themselves, just today I saw them run away as if they were in a hurry to help someone

Oh Y/N, I wish you would take care of yourself as much as you do for us...

As I kept reading, I decided to leave the library and fetch me a couple of sandwiches from the great hall, especially since it was getting late. I would most definitely look up the page Rowan suggested next

So far, my favourite entry of the journal had to be the Christmas one. Y/N didn't say much that day, but their happiness spoke volumes to me

However, what is written here, it somehow manages to topple that. In it, they remark how grateful they are for having us as friends, but most importantly, gives me details about why they were so sad in the first place

Apparently, Y/N's mum died just a couple years before his brother disappeared, and his father's work at the ministry keeps him far too busy to spend time with his own children

That leaves Y/N themselves with their aunt Jane, with whom they spent a vast majority of the time, and seems that she is actually nice, but had to stay over with some relatives in America, hence why Y/N staid at the castle with us

I'm just glad Y/N has someone else looking out for them outside Hogwarts

The journal's pages were so inviting, I sat alone to eat lunch for the first time ever, wishing to have only the book's company. I was going to follow Rowan's advice and head towards page 47 of the journal, didn't know they had numbers

But then, among its contents, I found something else, a mention to me in a lonely page, with much less ink in it than the others, yet structured so differently, it was a must-read

October 11th, 1987

I helped Talbot get back his necklace after a wholesome adventure, who knew he was so, well, alive. Among one of our stops was the library, where I learned that he likes to write poetry, but of course, denied me the right to read his work

Can't blame him for that

Instead, he actually convinced me into writing some poetry for myself, I got Rowan to help me study the structure and rhymes, I have nothing but respect for poets, now...

Anyway, I wanted to try and write something of my own, and I'm supposed to follow a feeling, perhaps think about something that inspires me, or someone for that regard so... I'm going to use this crush of mine as a muse

Here goes nothing...

-Haywood-

Her locks of gold

And a spirit so bold

I could stay a while

Just watching that smile

And it would never get old

Flawless in her potions

A girl of pure emotions

She calls me a star

But she's better by far

A reason for my heart's commotions

The...the entry concludes here, it seems that it is a work in progress but... I think just two stanzas were all it took to make me blush like a tomato, I could feel my face get warmer because of it. Y/N says It's not perfect, but I don't think I've ever read anything so wonderful before...

I've never had someone write something so beautiful for me either, but now ...I...I don't think I I would have it any other way

Oh, how I'd love to take this with me, perhaps I could write a copy, or...Did I just hear my stomach rumbling?

My, I came here to read and eat, but so far I had only done one of the two. Perhaps I could get myself a couple of sandwiches before resuming this, wouldn't want to stain the pages and give myself away

I stood up and walked to get some food, whilst helping my mind off from such a...beautiful piece of work. I mean, it said so much about how Y/N sees me and I, honestly, couldn't find myself more flattered by it

Heh, so this is how being speechless feels like

With food on my plate, I returned to the table I was using, but as soon as I did, I felt my heart sink down, my eyes go wide, and I almost dropped my food as well because as it turns out...

...the journal was gone

Who could be so vile to take advantage of my flustered state and steal something so valuable just like that?!

Focus, Penny, Rowan trusted you with Y/N's own journal without giving it a second thought, it's time to prove why

I approached one of my fellow Hufflepuffs, I tapped his shoulder to get his attention

"Yes, Penny?"

"Excuse me, did you happen to see someone take the journal that was over there?"

He looked at the place I pointed at, then started to recall recent events with a 'hmm' for a couple of seconds and finally, he looked at me with an answer

"I think I saw a pale Slytherin girl take it, she might be leaving, though"

I thanked him for his help and then turned my attention to the entrance of the great hall and saw one particular girl leaving it, I could recognize her from afar. Ismelda

No time wasted, I ran out of the great hall to catch up with her, and by the time I did, she was already halfway through the halls

"Ismelda, give it back!"

My voice made her stop to look at me, that mischievous smile only confirmed her as guilty

"What are you talking about?"

"This is really not the time for this"

My serious tone only fed her amusement

"Oh, my, I'm so scared"

Sigh...

"Look, if you want this precious diary, then you'll have to read it out loud in the gre--"

"Immobulous"

Ismelda didn't even finish her sentence before I cast the spell, there was absolutely no way I would do this to Y/N, and I sincerely wasn't in the mood to play games like that

So I walked up to her and took the journal from her hands, stored it and began to walk away

"The spell shouldn't last long, don't worry"

And with that, I left the scene

While that encounter was short-lived, it was still a mistake from my part, I believe that the best thing should be to deliver this to Rowan, in case they see Y/N before me

While I stored the journal in my robes, I felt a small piece of paper, I took it out and saw that it was the one Rowan gave me

And also the reminder that I hadn't checked that specific page

Perhaps I could check one last entry before I return the book...

To avoid any trouble, I headed to one of the corridors, one of the least frequented by students and teachers, perfect for some alone reading

I opened the journal carefully and without disturbing the pages, I located page 47 of it, but what I found was much different from what I was expecting

...well, I didn't even find anything

Strange, why would Rowan want me to check this in particular?

Wait, there was something in here, a date, but not just any date, but the date of the celestial ball!

How did Y/N manage to find time to write something? They spent most of the day helping me with the decorations!

Now that I think about it, I hope I wasn't too harsh on them

Returning to the page, there was a date here, and a blank page that Rowan wanted me to check out, but what if it wasn't empty?

What if, perhaps, it was hidden?

Taking out my wand, I pointed it at the page and calmly chanted

"Revelio"

Slowly, the contents of the page were becoming visible, but these were not words

No, it was a drawing

It detailed two people dancing with grace, joy, without a care in the world

One of them was wearing a dress made for twirling, and the other never looked so perfect

This was us

The traces were so delicate, yet so lively, nothing but pure happiness was emanating from this picture

Well, I did find another emotion in this drawing, it was love

Under the drawing, a brief note was written with the same passion

"Thank you for giving me the happiest night of my life"

Y/N's POV, the next day

I was on my way to the artifacts room to meet Penny, maybe she wanted to know what even happened to me during the entire day

Truth to be told, I was helping Hagrid and professor Kettleburn with some magical creatures that escaped into the castle

Needless to say, the Hippogriff didn't go down without a few scratches and cuts, but it came to trust me enough to give me a ride on its back

Was it worth it? I think so, yes

Madam Pomfrey said my arm should be good as new for tomorrow, so no major problems there

I opened the door for the artifact room and saw Penny alone, holding...my journal?

So there it was...

"How is that arm coming along?" She asked in that motherly tone of hers

"Should be good for tomorrow"

She smiled at this, but then her expression turned a bit nervous when she continued the conversation

"You... you dropped this yesterday, but I didn't have the chance to return it to you"

She handed it over to me, avoiding eye contact with me

"Did you read it?"

Penny's blue eyes became riddled with shame and remorse as a sigh left her lips

"I did, sorry..."

A hand placed on her shoulder made her look at me, surprised

"It's fine, I was going to let you see it anyway"

She was taken back by this, only gaining a smile from me. Her reactions were too cute sometimes

"Y-You were?"

I nodded while maintaining the smile

"Yes, I recall you being so curious about me, and I don't know if you noticed, but I don't do a good job at it, so I thought lending you the journal would do a better job"

She sighed in relief, a smile creeping it's way back to her face, then she saw my tired expression and gave me a look of sympathy

"We should talk later, for now, just get some rest, okay?"

"I'll do my best" I joked, making her giggle

"Thank you, Y/N, I mean it"

Her tone sounded more serious, but before I could answer, Penny leaned closer to me and gave me a peck on the cheek

Needless to say, now I was the shocked one, my face was surely as red as it could, not to mention warm

She pulled back and smiled at me, not saying a word before she left the room, leaving me alone

Instinctively, I put my hand on that same cheek, I just couldn't believe what just happened

N-Not that I didn't like it, but because perhaps, I liked it too much

And all because of this journal

I wonder, did she leave a note or something whilst reading it?

I opened the journal and started searching through the pages. So far everything was as it should, no signs of tampering

...until I got to that special page of mine

Not only was the drawing visible, but there was also a note below mine, written by someone with far more delicate penmanship than mine

The message read:

"No, thank you for making me the happiest witch in the world~"

#penny haywood x mc #penny haywood #penny haywood x jacob's sibling #hogwarts mystery #mc hogwarts mystery

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userholland · 4 years

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i've been thinking lately about what'll happen when it's safe and life can resume after all this, my mind has me worried about possibly struggling to find work after, having to pay off the rest of my bills and such that have been put on pause atm -- just freaking out, anxious and worried about the uncertainty of what'll come next for me 😩😓 but i do try to think positively and optimistically, though this time has been a real test to my mental health and coping mechanisms...

it’s going to be okay babes! it’s like each day comes with more news and it’s all so much to process because it’s so sudden even though its been a while of quarantine but that shouldn’t lessen how you feel mentally, physically and emotionally. but, just know that it’s okay to feel fearful, how else are we supposed to feel? but, what i like to tell myself is that if i can’t do anything about it at this minute, i won’t try to worry about it until it comes up.

compared to how life was before, it is even more necessary to take care of yourself more than usual. mental health IS a priority, and there’s no such thing as too much self-care. we are humans and we can be exhausted until we break down crying out of nowhere. so if you want to go for a brisk walk, or even draw, paint, write, doodle, watch movies all day, read a book, literally anything that brings you ease, DO IT BABY.

i think everyone is sort of seeing this as a “its so much free time and im bored” when really its for our safety so we should try to find time to enjoy things we like or even learn something new. this too shall pass and we will all come out more grateful for even going outside after this.

i don’t know if this made sense at all because i rambled, but i know it feels like the days are endless and theres presses, but i really hope you’re okay and if you want to still talk, you can message me of course xxx

#also take my advice with a grain of salt #but i really hope this sort of helped???#i care about you guys & pls stay safe x #Anonymous

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redwoodrroad · 4 years

Text

@commander-daine tagged me in making a playlist for my gw2 characters! I’ve never done one of these before, so I was excited to try it. Oh I’m also going to tag @morgueanite and @doodle-rat in case you’re interested!

I’ve talked a lot about my guys on here, so I’ll just say that their relationship started very early in the story--they met during the events of the personal story and started dating soon after the events at Claw Island--the first five songs in my playlist are actually a pretty basic summation of their timeline in the personal story, so I’ll go through them under the cut with lyrics included.

The final three songs are on one hand very representational of Arkus and Eridunis in terms of their lyrics and on the other hand very... aesthetically accurate to them I guess. I’ll also go through them! You can find my playlist here: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/64AX7EQTosobU4QzU7pp2B

Please enjoy!

Eldorado Overture --ELO

Imagine this as the opening to the story, and it’s actually entirely Arkus-centric; as if he were awakening from his Dream--in which he actually had seen Eridunis in cryptically symbolic representation.

The Dreamer, the unwoken fool, In Dreams, no pain will kiss the brow. The love of ages fills the head. The days that linger there in prey of emptiness, Of burned out Dreams. The minutes calling through the years. The universal dreamer rises up above his earthly burden. Journey to the dead of night. High on a hill in Eldorado.

Can’t Get It Out of My Head --ELO

Arkus’s flagship song; it represents his simultaneous drive for knowledge and his internalized issues, whether with his professional life or for his purpose.

Breakdown on the shoreline Can't move, it's an ebb tide Morning, don't get here tonight Searching for her silver light

Laredo Tornado --ELO

Eridunis’s flagship song; it represents his excitement for the world while also highlighting the eventual recognition on his part that his life choices as a Commander--his actions and simply being at war itself--are also costing lives.

What can you do, When your dream world is gone, And your friends and lovers too.

Eldorado --ELO

Arkus’s and Eridunis’s combined flagship song, representing their comfort for each other in dark times as well as the acknowledgement that they will--for eternity or not--have each other.

Sitting here on top of everywhere, What do I care, Days never end. I know the voyage's end will soon be here, No eternal life is here for me, And now I found the key, To the eternal Dream.

Eldorado Finale --ELO

Not really a full song on its own, but it wraps up the album and serves to represent the finale of the personal story and serves to once and for all bring Arkus and Eridunis together... while also heavily hinting, at the end, at the dangers to come.

The dreamer, the unwoken fool, High on a hill in Eldorado

Astra et Luna --Enya

This one mostly is for the romance ambiance; the song is entirely in Latin (which makes me weak always, I had to include it), but I have some of the English lyrics for you here:

The night sky; In the darkness The stars and the stars and the moon No clouds, A clear sky The great song of the wind

Ode To My Next Life --Kishi Bashi

I think this serves as both one for ambiance and one for Arkus and Eridunis acknowledging their positions and how their choices impact so many lives.

Sewn together in a simple life Denting the can with a plan I feel like I could never survive Oh, my second life wife Mad in the energy of a world on fire With our dreams

Another Heart Breaks --ELO

This one is all instrumental! It’s also from my favorite album, Time (Eldorado as highlighted above being my other favorite). There are some words repeating in the background at times, but the content album itself is represented by this song because it’s about a man who has been sent to a completely new world (the future, for context, but the important piece is that it’s a new world for the protagonist) and it’s about his struggle to cope and to eventually return to his world. In the new world, he’s lost everything, all his friends and loved ones are gone, and he doesn’t think he can ever go back, but in the end, it’s up to the listener to decide whether he does find his way back home or if he simply accepts his fate--such is the narrative mutability in returning to Central Tyria after the events of Heart of Thorns, a chapter by which this album is also heavily inspired. I also think it’s a good one to wrap up the playlist.

Thank you for listening! And for reading!! I really hope you enjoyed!

#redwoods words #guild wars 2 #arkus tag #eridunis tag

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lunartearrose · 5 years

Text

Because i can't decide on what else to do: headcanons

Some assassination classroom headcanons about Gakushu, Karma, and Nagisa within the seven year gap. Or it all can be taken as just in general stuff because heck, it probably counts for other parts of their lives. Here we go!

For Gakushu:

-got addicted to coffee and now constantly has a mug of the stuff with him. He's got different mugs to keep variety.

-his highest amount of coffee cups per day is 15. But thats just on record its no quota

-rarely ever sleeps unless someone knocks him out or he has a sort of crash

-everyone refers to him as Asano, even himself. One could say he's kind of having issues with a problem of being unable to separate his own identity from his fam, but if you throw this in his face he'll deny it and be extremely conscious about it for a while.

-morning involve him getting out of bed, having a bagel or something and lying to his dad's face about getting enough sleep. Lets all face it: they both lie to eachother about sleep and just kind of keep it that way, neither wanting to bother to fix their issues enough to validly bring up the other's

-gakushu, if ever involved in a scheme where nagisa would usually be put in the dress, openly volunteer to both spare the boy and reason it as upstaging, specifically because either karma or rio said "nobody does it better than nagisa". He does it better because he's actually confident with the look, and nagisa was pretty grateful.

-he still group texts his big 5 pals

-can imitate voices crazily easily

-nagisa is helpful for asano. He helps him figure out his feelings and maybe reveals what emotions he tries to cover up.

-he at some point wonders how he would look with long hair and one summer, against his father's wishes, Gakushu grew it out. And due to his superhuman devil fam genes, it grew out pretty quick and shocked his class

-actually pretty impulsive when it comes down to things. Things got a little ugly when he tried to quit his addiction, and so karma had to be summoned to stop gakushu from, well, drinking pure caffiene he extracted from basically sciencing a bunch of coffee.

-expert at other people, fool when it comes to himself

-has heard stories and hates nagisa's mom. Zero trust

-supports nagisa and karma in things, tho usually subtly

Alright! On to Karma:

-prankster that can't resist doing what he thinks is funny, especially if it involves Asano

-tries to remember to call Asano by his first name as much as humanly possible. Though Gakushu is longer saying wise, its the guy's name.

-texting nagisa at any opportunity

-adores guys, adores guys in dresses, and just. Yeah he's gay keep scrolling

-visits good old E class to pick the lock and hang out in the empty rooms. Keeping desks clean, doodling on the chalkboard, all sorts of that stuff. He doesn't admit it, but he sometimes cries soley because he misses people

-karma is really emotional but does a good job at surpressing this when he needs to and generally acting chill all the time

-would throw hands with any enemy if they return, especially takaoka the friggin bastard

-and yes, be will put his pals in dresses. Anything that looks nice, yes

-catch him off guard and he still gets that full face blush

-throw hands with him he dares you

-if its a fun impulse he will let gakushu do it, and in fact, encourage it

-visits the guy through his lil balcony. Wants to visit nagisa but nagisa is far away and it makes him kinda sad

-apprehensive and embarassed at first, but yes, he shall dawn the dress one time. Gakushu and nagisa have bunches of pictures. The tables have been turned

-finds it fun when people get passionate over things - this is why he likes to fight gakushu in academics and the occasional spar if the guy wants.

-will call u cute in that certain tone he uses for people

-supports nagisa's haircut. Like hell yes!!! Nagisa is being himself!!!!

Now, finallyy, Nagisa:

-really just polishing his already perfect assassin skills

-paints his nails so they look shiny like snake scales, like that metallic green that shines to blue to purple in certain lights. Who said nail paint had to be a girly thing? Especially when it looks so cool

-still working on getting his mom to leave him alone and undo some of the damage she's left him with. Also uses his knowledge on how to cope to help Gakushu get past his sleeping habits and air out the bits of toxicity that remain between him and his father. Remember, if you get more sleep than your jerky father, you're better than him and winning

-will decline crossdress requests until further notice. He wants to be comfy with his own body and until he can get himself away from the thoughts of his past with his crappy mom that still bother him, no skirts.

-goes to therapy because he wants to get better and get past feelings he has trouble with letting go

-the afformentioned boys love his spooky faces and smiles

-will give a cheek smooch to close pals if they ask him. Cheek smooch is platonic in his eyes usually!

-he and kayano are gossip buds and often talk over feelings. She supports him and he does his best to do the same

-he wants to visit karma but... there is so much schoolwork.... hfkjgh

-also! Deathly afraid of growing apart from his friends, esp. Karma

- "asano please for the love of god take the dresses mom keeps sending me i dont want them burn them"

-if takaoka ever became a problem again things would probably escalate to bloodshed this time

-he is still the best assassin and can definitely sneak into wherever his classmates or even where asano starts work to visit them

-will give other pals nails the snake gradient paint job. Karma's will have a firey scale look and asano gets a cool purple to lightish red

-suggested the new hairdo karma has

-rlly honestly just cool and love his friends and supports them

Thats all i can think of for the moment! Hope y'all enjoy these. Ive been writing a fic featuring some of these so i hope you enjoy these until im finished w that💖

#assassination classroom #ansatsu kyoushitsu #assclass #karma x asano #nagisa x asano #karma x nagisa x asano #asano gakushu #gakushu asano #karushuu #karmagisa #karunagi #karunagishuu #fuck dude whats the ot3 name #its not too shippy but tagfed just in case #headcanons

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wexregolden · 5 years

Text

Read it on AO3 here <3

-----

And I wanna know,

will I see you again?

The coffee shop was crowded, too crowded for Marti´s liking. But he won´t complain as he found a nice table next to a window in a corner somewhere.

His uni things were spread out on the table in front of him, books, worksheets, notes – everything, building a big chaos. But he doesn´t mind.

Marti took a sip of his coffee before he came back to his study stuff again.

The room was filled with loud chatter but it didn´t bother him, he was able to study anyway. At least he hoped so. And even if not, the noises wouldn´t be the reason for it.

Marti loves his major, journalism, but exam period always brought him to the edge. Worrying about doing too little which lead up to him overworking himself, being overwhelmed. Which, by all means, wasn´t a thing to go with.

He sighted before focusing on his notes again, continuing reading about the development of online media and its rising back in time.

Marti was too absorbed in his stuff that he didn´t sense a guy approaching his table, stopping in front of him.

Only when he started speaking he noticed him.

“Excuse me?” Marti´s head snapped up, meeting a pair of green eyes.

“Ahm hi, sorry for bothering you. But is this seat still free?” the stranger asked, a bit unsure, “The whole café seems to be occupied and all the other seats are already taken.”

“Sure,” Marti simply answered, putting a few of his university things aside to make space for the other boy.

The nameless-guy started unpacking his things, seeming to learn for university too.

And only now as he was occupied Marti had the chance to take a proper look at him.

He had nice green eyes, dark curly hair and a bright smile that seems to light up the whole room as soon as Marti met his eyes, said smile plastered on his lips.

He looked beautiful.

“Everything okay?” the boy asked, still smiling at Marti.

“Yeah... Yeah, everything good”

And with that Marti focus turned back to studying. Well, at least kind of. His gaze drifted away again every now and then, stealing little glances at the boy sitting opposite to him.

Perceiving and catching little details about him.

The way his tongue lolled out of his mouth when he concentrates on something, his long curls falling over his eyes from time to time and him blowing it away again, his fingers playing with the pen in his hand all the time.

A smile appeared on Marti´s face. He was cute.

“Can´t concentrate?” he suddenly asked.

“What?” Marti asked perplex, feeling caught.

“Don´t know, it just seemed like you´re not focusing on your things, university stuff I guess. As exam period is about to start soon.”

“Gosh, please don´t remind me!”

“Stressed out?”

“Yeah, definitely!” Marti said, groaning, “it stresses me always more than it probably should.”

“I get it, it can be stressing as hell. And if you`re not the best at coping with stressful situations, well, it easily feels as if the ceiling would crash down on you,” Nico responded with a sigh.

“Word! I couldn´t have said it better myself.”

“What are you studying anyway if I may ask?” Nico asked curious, changing the topic.

“I´m doing journalism.”

“Journalism! Sounds nice! So I´m going to read from you in big newspapers in the future?”

“Hm, probably not. I´m specialising myself on online media,” Marti said, thinking back to the time back at high school, not knowing what to do with his future life. Not knowing what to do with his life after school, which university he should attend, which major he should choose.

He would have never thought that he would end up doing journalism, did never think about that major.

Thinking about simply doing some of the IT shit his father tried to talk him into. As it´s something useful. But it could have never brought him joy.

After a few talks with his friends, especially Sana as she was the one bringing him to the whole radio thing and probably the one person who saw the most that Marti actually likes it, and his mom, who told him not to listen to his father but to what his heart tells him is the best for himself, he decided to just go for it.

Applying to university. Journalism as his major.

And he loves it.

“Sounds interesting. So big online magazines then?” the boy asked, grinning.

“Well, don´t know? Maybe? If everything goes right it might be like that. Hopefully,” Marti said, a laugh escaping him.

“I´m sure that it will work out, my fingers are crossed for you,” the stranger guy said, smiling.

“Thanks I guess,” Martino responded.

He didn´t say anything else for now, just looking into the stranger's eyes, his beautiful green eyes, before he gathered himself again and asked him a question this time.

“And what about you? What are you doing? At university I mean.”

“I´m doing music therapy. As music has been a big part of my life kind of since... ever it was clear for me that I want to do something with it in my future life. I... It helped me through some dark times in my life and I´m forever grateful for that and well, I would love to help others who are struggling with certain things in their lives. Yeah, I´d love making my passion to my future profession. Oh, and Nico by the way,” the stranger, Nico, said, words spouting out.

“Nico. Hey. I´m Marti. And I´m glad that you found something, a major, that brings you that much joy,” he said really meaning it.

“Marti. Nice name,” Nico just said, smiling at him.

“Thanks...?” Marti responded, sounding more like a question than an answer.

“And what about you, what animated you to do journalism as your major?”

Marti thought back, to all those circumstances that brought him to the radio back at school.

“Well... It´s a weird story I guess.”

“Don´t worry, weird is nice,” Nico said grinning.

“Okay, back at school there was the radio group I joined. Well, was forced to join.”

“You were forced to?” Nico asked, a little confused.

“Yeah... Let´s say it like that. I lost some weed at a party back then and a now friend of mine found it and well, used it as a blackmailing method to get me to join the radio. The first meetings were odd, really, but in the end I really enjoyed it, planning, writing and researching for the radio episodes grew on me and I actually liked it after some time. And so I guess that´s the reason how I found out that journalism might be the major that would be the most fitting more me.”

After telling his story, Marti looked back at Nico, seeing him grinning.

“I told you it was weird!”

“No, don´t worry, it was actually fun hearing it. And so, any plans for the future?”

“Hm, not sure. Like, yeah, it would be nice to work as journalist, surprise surprise, but I don´t know if and how this will work out. Let´s see what the future will bring.”

“Don´t be so hard on yourself, Marti. I´m sure that it will work out.”

“If you say so,” Marti said, smiling.

Nico was nice, he really is.

“I do.”

“And what about you? Your future plans?”

“I would like to work in the music therapy branch but as you already said, let´s see if this will work out. I actually don´t like thinking about the future, the thought about the unknown and uncontrollable freaks me out,” Niccolò responded with a little, pitiful smile on his face.

Which widened and became bright as Marti continued talking.

“I get the fear of the future, I really do. But I´m sure that it will work out for you too.”

“Thank you,” Nico simply said, a wide and honest smile on his face.

It made Marti smile too, it was beautiful, brightening up the whole room.

“Anyways, I´m finally going to get something to drink. What do you want?” Nico asked him.

“I already had a coffee, I´m not going to order anything else.”

“It´s on me this time! I mean you shared the table with me so that´s the least I could do.”

“You really don´t have to, it´s nothing!”

“It is! I wouldn´t have been able to study here if it wouldn´t have been for you providing me the free seat.”

Marti isn´t going to mentioned that they haven´t actually studied since Nico sat down and joined him, being occupied with talking to each other, chatting, stealing a few glances here and there. Having fun.

“No wishes then? I´m going to choose something for you!” Nico said before he disappeared to the counter, not giving Marti the change to say anything else.

It was fun. Talking and spending time with Nico was fun.

And Marti knew that he wasn´t a teenager anymore, that this whole situation shouldn´t make his heart beat that fast. Spending time with a cute and friendly boy. But he couldn´t help, couldn´t stop his heart.

It took Niccolò some time to get back to Marti, due to all those people filling the coffee shop, a long queue behind the counter.

Marti tried to continue reading his text in the meantime, tried to focus, but it didn´t work. His mind always drifted away, looking for Nico in the line to get their drinks and then his eyes caught Nico´s uni stuff, the doodles all over his notes. Giraffes, skulls or some undefinable lines.

He´s talented.

“Sorry that it took me so long!” Nico interrupted Marti´s thoughts as he was finally back again, placing two cups with cold beverages in front of them. Weirdly brown looking drinks.

“What even is this, Nico?”

“I don´t know,” he simply said, a grin on his face.

“You don´t know?!”

“I don´t know. I simply ordered two vanilla milkshakes but with every special ingredient they had there.”

“What?!”

“This will be fun Marti. Come on, don´t be boring, let us try something new!”

“I´m not boring! I´m just not keen on getting sick on my stomach because of some weird drink a weird guy offered me.”

“Oh, so I´m weird now?”

“Seems like it. Who would order such a drink?”

“Well, me!”

“See! You´re weird!”

“Weird or not, come on Marti, let´s try it, it won´t taste that bad. It will be fun.”

“Fun,” Marti said sarcastic, forming quotation marks with his fingers.

“Yes, fun!” Nico said again before he pushed the cup over to him.

Marti looked at the beverage suspiciously, being sure it won´t be a good idea to drink it but still, he can´t resist Nico´s grin, it made him grab the drink.

“Okay,” he simply responded.

“On three,” Nico said and started to count, “one... two... three!”

And then Martino took a gulp, Niccolò doing the same.

As soon as the taste spread on his tongue, he grimaced.

“Nico! This tastes terrible! What even is in there?”

“I have no clue!” Nico said, laughing at Marti´s face, “but come on, it´s actually not that bad.”

“It is!”

“Stop being so dramatic, Marti.”

“I´m not dramatic! Just being rational, this can´t be healthy!”

“I kinda like it,” Nico said before he took another big sip, trying to hide his grimace.

“You´re a bad actor, Ni!”

“Oh believe me, I´m actually pretty good at hiding feelings,” Niccolò answered, a grin on his face, but still looking kind of bitter.

Marti didn´t know what to answer, he was just looking at Nico who looked back at him.

He looked down again, searching for something to occupy himself, to overplay the silence between them so he grabbed one of his markers.

Only that Nico had something similar in mind, their hands touching in the middle of the table.

Soft. Gently. Smooth.

It sent sparks through his body.

Marti looked down at their still touching hands and back up again, meeting Nico´s eyes looking at him.

Still not saying anything.

He felt Nico´s hand pulling away from his, only to come back a second later, caressing his pinkie with his.

Linking them as Marti smiled softly.

His head was spinning, not being able to think clear right now.

His heart was thumping.

And then it hit him.

Hit him what´s just happening.

“I need to go to the bathroom!” Marti just said and immediately rushed there, bringing some distance between him and Nico.

He needed to get out there for a second, trying to make the sparks that were between them stop, trying to get his heartbeat back to normal.

What did just happen? What was that?

And why was his heart beating so fast? He wasn´t sixteen anymore, getting a crush on every random guy he met.

But he felt like it was special this time, Nico was special. It felt as if there was an instant connection between them.

Marti sighed as he just stood there in front of the mirror, looking at himself, taking a few deep breaths.

And then he went back to the café.

As he returned there, he saw Nico packing his things.

“Marti! I´m so sorry!” Nico said.

“What? What are you talking about?” he asked perplex.

“I have really forgotten the time. I´m meeting up with my parents in a few minutes!”

Oh.

“Oh.”

“But it was nice meeting you. Thank you again for sharing your table with me,” Nico said, smiling.

And then he pulled Marti in a short hug before he left.

Marti couldn´t say anything right now, just a whispered goodbye, too quiet for Nico to hear.

And he was gone.

As sudden as he appeared in his life he was gone again.

It would have been too beautiful to actually get to know Nico better, spend more time with him.

The boy he only met a few hours ago but already had the feeling that he would have been someone special.

Marti sighted and took a deep breath before he started packing his things too, not being in the mood for studying anymore.

And then, a part of his notes caught his eye.

Something he hasn´t seen before.

A little doodle.

There was a little cloverleaf and a ladybug drawn on it with a note next to it.

Good luck with your exams, Marti. You´ll nail it! 😀 Would love to see you again.

And a phone number beneath.

Nico´s.

Marti couldn´t help but had to smile brightly, relieved.

Nico hasn´t just left him like that.

He hasn´t just imagined the signs, this something between them.

He immediately saved his number in his contacts and wrote a message to Nico.

To Nico

Good luck with yours too!

And another one following immediately.

And I would love to see you again too.

Only for the sake of getting a proper drink this time of course.

Nico

I see, I see 😉

It´s a date then

To Nico

Marti has never been that happy to sit in a crowded coffee shop.

-----

Hellooo :D If you made it till here: Thank you for reading! It means a lot to me <3 I don´t even know anymore how and when I got that idea... It just was there someday and I tried to write it. And well, here it is haha :D It´s basically just fluff and nothing deep but I still hope that you like it and enjoed reading it. I would really love to hear what you think in a comment or my ask box <3

Have a nice day! <3

#skam italia #skamit #skam italia fanfic #skam italia fanfiction

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sponfawn · 5 years

Text

MTH - The Rowdy Bros (part 1)

For a certain anon~

An analysis on the Boys' relationship(s) and dynamics with each other. Part 1 covers chapters 1-3. How the Boys were introduced to us throughout chapter 1 is significant, both in the techniques Sbj chose to use and what was revealed to us. Chapter 2 and 3 also have very important scenes related to the Boys' relationships to each other. Namely, Brick's reaction to Boomer liking Bubbles, and Butch's disobedience and the subsequent aftermath of that. A lot of this part ended up being more about Boomer, cuz I talk a lot about Brick and Butch in general, and I feel like in these scenes, Brick and Butch are the easiest to read.

I decided to analyze the most revealing scenes of their interactions in chronological order. Sbj revealed their dynamics to us over time, giving little bits of info here and there, and dropping occasional bombs to unpack. So I kinda wanted to honor that and dissect the meanings behind interactions as they came, rather than making a couple of thesis statements and picking bits of evidence from different scenes. It may end up making this whole thing confusing and scattered, so I apologize in advance. Cohesive thought is not my forte.

From early on, Sbj establishes the Boys' (and Girls') interactions as siblings, and how they are similar to and different from their counterparts. In chapter 1 especially, she uses moments of direct juxtapositions - 2 scenes back-to-back, with mirrored conversations and actions, 1 with the Girls and 1 with the Boys. One example, when Bubbles and Boomer each announce to their siblings that they got invitations to Princess' party. Butch and Buttercup bring the topic of the "hot boys list" up, having just discovered its existence, Brick and Blossom didn't know theres a list, and Boomer and Bubbles say "the list was updated?" These scenes also serve to compare and contrast the relationships between the sibling sets. The boys tend to be tougher on each other and they snipe and put each other down more than the Girls, Brick and Butch especially (not that that's a surprise). In the passage below (from the same scene), where Blossom is a bit embarrassed and tries to placate her sibling (over assuming Bubbles couldnt get them invites), Brick is sarcastic and derisive towards his. But in this, we also see some of Boomer in his relationship with his brothers, that I'd like to delve into a bit. Aside from it not being a big deal to him, I think he expects their nonplussed reactions in a way that allows him to mostly ignore their criticism and lack of enthusiasm. Not in all areas, but in social and music related things, he knows not to expect anything positive from them. (In this scene there's not much to analyze from Brick, other than what we already know, and while Butch's envy/issue with not being the best/good enough is addressable, I did so already in another post. I'll link it in my reblog in case anyone wants it)

In that same chapter, Boomer plays with No Neck Joe in the Battle of the Bands, and from his brothers' reactions, we know that they were invited but that he didn't tell them he would be performing. They are caught unawares - Butch is surprised and bursts out laughing, and Brick is mortified - and we know Boomer dragged them there. I think this goes back to the fact that he knows not to expect genuine support from them, and he doesn't get his hopes up. But at the same time, he seems to want them to be present. I feel either it's cuz even if they're not proud of him in any sense, he still likes when they come and likes to share things that make him happy, or he enjoys catching them off guard and surprising them, particularly Brick. I think it's both, since later on, we also see this side of him when he first starts to like Bubbles and tells Brick and Butch. He tells them literally the same night, cuz he can't contain it (I mean, later, he was apparently chatting about his crush on Bubbles nonstop to whoever was in hearing range at school). He tries to get them to guess who it is, playfully tries to get them to drag the surprise out of him, and when they don't take the bait, he mutters it in a quick and quiet way that he knows will catch attention. He knows Brick will be mad about it, and seems to get a level of enjoyment out of that, while minimizing damage by playing it off as a passing adolescent phase. But even while saying that, he's doodling hearts on her shoe ad, smiling to himself, and generally just soaking in the giddy happiness hes feeling. I think he's the type of person who has to share his joy and happiness with others, even if they aren't responsive or engaged with him in it, and that doesn't faze him. This evidence from chapter 2 leads us into the 2nd and 3rd chapters' sibling dynamics.

* kiss with a fist and 66,000 m/h

In the same scene where Boomer tells the Boys that he likes Bubbles, we get a pretty good glimpse into the relationship between Brick and Boomer (as well as their relationship with Butch). Brick is very much the big brother, but also like a slightly more casual drill sergeant. He talks about "protocol" and even tries to control Boomer's feelings. He doesn't trust Boomer or Butch, but for different reasons. He doesn't trust Butch to not impulsively fuck shit up and cause trouble, but when it comes to romance he's confident that Butch is just a horny teen who won't be swayed in any meaningful way. He doesn't trust Boomer with his emotions and tendency to get attached. I think in some ways that's why he seems to think of Boomer as the "runt". As someone with an excessively analytical and empirical mind (and a sore lack of emotional intelligence), he doesn't understand how Boomer can get swept up in his emotions, and sees it as weakness. With Butch, he sees a weakness in impulse control, but I think he interprets that as more wilfull, and due to a lack of discipline, rather than being "soft".

Butch also criticizes Boomer in his taste in crushes, preferring physical attributes and sexual attraction over any other qualities or types of attraction. But Butch's criticism of Boomer, in this case and at the Battle of the Bands, is largely teasing in a joking manner, laughing at Boomer as a sibling would. After the incident between Will and Boomer in Chapter 2, Boomer apologizes for going after Bubbles and attacking Will. An exchange that is heavily implied to be the direct result of Brick’s orders. He doesn’t even stick around to watch, cuz he knows Boomer will reluctantly obey him. Again, we see how Brick is more like a parent-commanding officer combo, than a sibling. Some of Brick's reactions can also be read as sibling-like, but it’s often in the sense that he sees Boomer as an embarrassment. He literally says so at Princess' party, and is mortified at the show. In the above passage, Boomer says, "you like to think you know me and Butch...", which tells me that Butch and Boomer are probly closer than Brick is to either of them. We see this later as well, Boomer is more likely to hang out with Butch and his friends, more likely to smoke with him, understands his habits when he's bored out of his mind, is more likely to talk to Butch (while Brick ignores or scoffs at him half the time). In the end, Brick tells Boomer that he'll trust him with his crush on Bubbles, but warns him not to disappoint. It's such a strange way of interacting if you think of them as normal brothers, cuz average brothers arent controlling to that degree. "I'm choosing to trust you (to have a crush, instead of forcibly keeping you away from her). Don't disappoint me (by really liking a girl and having strong feelings for her)".

Later in this same chapter, we see what happens when Brick is seriously "disappointed". We see his explosive rage, his excessively violent reprimands, his temporary lapse in calculated judgement. In that moment, it's Boomer who stops him, reminding him, "there's an audience and everything", bringing him back to his senses to calm down just enough to leave. During this scene, Boomer is by far the most calm, although emotionally detached, resigned, and guarded is probably the more accurate description. Later, after they get home, Boomer is mostly his normal self again and chides Butch for making a dumb decision and getting himself fucked up. Idk why but it reminds me of that trope with the older brother/dad who gets into trouble, and the younger brother/son who cleans his wounds and stitches him back up, who is forced to be the adult in that moment, who quietly fusses over how bad it is this time. Butch sends him to get meds from his drug supply to help with the pain. Brick appears, and starts yelling at Butch for his inability to listen and his insubordination. Boomer returns, unfazed by the yelling, and tries to deflect the tension a bit with a joke. When it doesn't work and Brick tells Boomer to remind Butch what he told them at the beginning of the year, Boomer replies in a bored, detached tone. Later, he takes on a demeanor, similar to those previous 2 scenes, with Bubbles and Blossom in the hall waiting for the verdict from Principal Keane (though to a lesser degree) - he's a bit closed off, an insincere smile on his face, detached and looking at the floor. I think he's adopted this reaction as a coping mechanism. He feels things deeply, gets attached quickly, and he's probably had to bear witness to similar scenes with Brick and Butch a number of times over the years. He can't control what Brick does, so he detaches himself from the situation to cope with the emotional stress.

Back when Brick let go of Butch and said he hoped it was worth it, Butch grinned and replied that it always is. And while it's fucked up, I think he did so for a couple reasons. He was satisfied with the fight with Buttercup, he was being a cheeky bastard, and I think he feels a sense of freedom in defying orders regardless of consequences, and he maybe even finds it funny that Brick thinks his punishments are enough of a deterrent. Brick is the abusive parent-sibling, and it has different effects on Boomer and Butch. Boomer resigns himself to detachment and emotional distance, while Butch just makes sure his disobedience is satisfying enough to make the punishments worth it.

In chapter 3, after Brick's dance-inspired painting goes so well, we see some more of their interactions. Specifically, a bored Butch pesters an annoyed Boomer for entertainment (typical sibling stuff), and Brick busts through the front door, grabbing Butch. Butch assumes that he's super pissed off, but Brick smiles, thanks him, and let's him off his punishment a week early. This interaction is so confusing and alarming to Butch that he freezes on the spot and ends up shuddering on the floor after Brick leaves. What this tells us is 1) Brick's punishments and reactions to disobedience are much more steeped in emotion than he'd like to admit and 2) even Butch and Boomer don't see him smiling and outwardly showing joy much, if ever.

The rest of this chapter we also get a glimpse into some other relationship dynamics, though shorter in interaction time. Brick doesn't share his stuff. He gets the Coil, and immediately flings his brothers aside as they try to claim shotgun. Literally. Its soon after that the Girls get the hotline call about mama monster, and Butch and Boomer tag along. In a subsequent exchange between Butch and Blossom, he tells her that even though she's attractive, she's not his leader and he won't listen to her. Butch obviously has issues with authority in general, but this stood out to me. It’s unique and gives us a hint about relationship dynamics that are addressed more fully in subsequent chapters. But I’m gonna put a pin in this thought, as SBJ did, and bring this scene up again later.

TL;DR in chap 1-3, they’re def siblings and some of their interactions reflect that, but when Brick perceives that Butch or Boomer may step out of line (or they actually do), the stuff that makes them different from most siblings really comes out of the woodwork. We know obviously that Brick is an authoritarian dick of a leader, cuz it's Brick. But we also see the ways that has impacted Boomer and Butch as individuals. Boomer’s natural personality seems to be one where he needs to share things that make him happy. With his brothers, he's adapted his behavior, like opting to invite them to things last minute or without all of the info, so they’e less likely to turn him down. He navigates around touchy things, and tries to disperse tension. When Brick is being particularly abusive, he more or less shuts down and detaches emotionally. Butch on the other hand, doesn't try to find ways around the issue, he just makes sure that whatever he's doing wrong is extreme enough to reap maximum (temporary) rewards before the consequences hit.

#sbj more than human #rowdyruff boys #rowdy bros #part 1

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