#i just. am fucking heartbroken. I got too fucking attached.

[pxrplepolkadots]

💔

#hey y'all #sorry I haven't been as active as usual for these past two-ish weeks #i've been going through it #the guy i've been seeing lost interest in me i'm almost 100% sure #like we hung out twice last week (4/18 and 4/20) and it was only to see that movie and we played pool at our campus rec center #and he hasn't reached out to talk since last sat. i've been the one to reach out. I feel like i'm watering a dead plant. #he's been slow to respond with short curt messages if he responds at all #and the last time he texted first was 4/23 at 1 am bc he wanted to sext. made me feel kinda yucky. i havent seen him in person since 4/20 #he said was busy this past week and that he wouldnt be able to hang - but it does only take like 2 seconds to send a quick text yk? #i just. am fucking heartbroken. I got too fucking attached. #and today was our campus's biggest “block party” event of the year and he is just. partying with god knows who doing god knows what rn #and he's literally going to Spain to study abroad in may and is going to Princeton in the fall for grad school (very far from here.) #so I know the next time I see him will be the last time ever. i wrote him a long ass letter explaining all my feels and saying goodbye #i've cried everyday :( i'm so sick of feeling like this. #can't wait for this semester to be over. #personal

[kpopimaginings]

Someone Like You - Jackson Wang

A/N: This wasn’t requested, just a little idea that popped into my head! (And Jackson friends-to-lovers is my weakness)

You hated this. Jackson was your best friend, so you loved that he could come to you with anything, but when it was yet another person who wasn't right for him, you hated it.

Jackson had always had such a big heart, but he let people in too easily sometimes. He would fall so quickly that often whoever he was seeing didn't feel the same way. Or, unfortunately, in some cases they were interested for the wrong reasons.

Whatever it was that caused it, things would always end with a heartbroken Jackson crying to you about it.

"Do you want to talk about it?" you asked Jackson.

The minute he turned up at your door with red eyes you knew. You pulled him to your sofa where you were now sat with a crying Jackson leaning on your shoulder.

"I just don't get it," he sobbed. "What do I do wrong?"

"I don't know, Jacks," you said, trying to comfort him. "You're perfect as far as I'm concerned."

He let out a chuckle and a sniff as he sat up and tried to clean his face. "I'm sure I don't look perfect."

You fought the urge inside you to tell Jackson exactly how perfect he was to you. You'd had a crush on him for a while that you just couldn't shake, but right now he needed a friend.

"What did she say?" you asked, trying to get to the bottom of the heartbreak so you could comfort your friend.

He gave a little shrug and shook his head. "She didn't like me," he muttered.

"Then you didn't do anything wrong," you explained.

"No, it's not..."

You could tell he wanted to tell you what had happened but was struggling to get the words out. Sitting silently you let him take his time.

"She liked the idea of me, of my job, my money," he admitted softly.

"This is why I said before you get too attached they need to meet me and/or your mum. We'll be your screening process!"

Instead of answering he leant into you again, this time wrapping his arms around you. You happily returned the embrace, giving him a comforting squeeze.

"Why can't I just find someone who likes me for me? Who will be there for me like I want to be there for them?"

You sucked in a deep breath as you bit your tongue yet again. Honestly, without confessing you didn't know what to say.

"Someone who..." Jackson looked up at you then, his puppy eyes so watery you felt a twinge in your heart. "Someone like you."

Well that comment was doing nothing to quell your crush. The pair of you seemed to freeze in the moment, each second guessing what the other might be thinking.

Without warning, Jackson threw caution to the wind and leant up, pressing his lips to yours.

Your common sense kicked in quickly and you pulled back.

"Wait," you said.

Jackson swore under his breath and withdrew completely.

"No, wait," you encouraged.

"I always fuck up, see, it's just who I am."

"Jackson," you snapped.

He stopped what he was saying and looked at you.

"You have no idea how much I want to kiss you back-"

"But?" he interrupted with a sigh, knowing it was coming.

"But, are you sure this is the right time? You just got out of a relationship. I'm here for you completely, but I don't want to be a rebound."

"Wait, wait. Hold on, can we back up? You said you want to kiss me? You arent objecting because you dont like me back?"

You chuckled. "You know that wasn't the important bit of what I said."

"Ok, but..." he pried, trying to get more information out of you.

"Fine, I've had a crush on you for ages, but you've needed me there, well, we've needed each other, and I wasn't going to risk that by confessing. I know what you've been through the last couple of years and I wasn't about to let you struggle alone because of a dumb crush."

"You're literally everything I said I wanted," Jackson explained, now edging closer to you again. "You've been there for me through everything, and honestly, I feel a connection with you beyond what I've felt with any other friend. You should know I will always care about you more than a rebound." He gently took your hand. "Maybe I went about this the wrong way, but I want to be with you."

"I want to be with you too," you admitted. "Just, maybe, let's take it a bit slower?"

Jackson nodded enthusiastically.

With a smile you leant in a pecked a quick kiss to his cheek before pulling him back in to rest against you.

"Feeling happier now?" you asked him.

"Yes," he replied simply and snuggled his head against you.

You couldn't help the smile that grew on your face as you held Jackson close. Never again would have you have to worry about him turning up on your doorstep heartbroken. You were planning on taking good care of his heart now you knew he was willing to let you in.

NAVIGATION  |  GOT7 MASTERLIST

#jackson #jackson wang #jackson got7 #jackson wang scenario #jackson wang imagine #jackson imagine #jackson imagines #jackson scenarios #jackson drabble #jackson fic #jackson fluff #jackson angst #jackson wang oneshot #jackson wang imagines #jackson wang scenarios #jackson wang drabble #jackson x reader #jackson x you #jackson wang x reader #jackson wang x you #got7 #got7 scenario #got7 oneshot #got7 imagine

[aliwritesfic]

The Wedding Date (Frankie Morales x F!Reader) (part 13)

Previous Next The Beginning

“Hello? You home?” Olivia opened your front door. “Jesus fuck you look like shit.”

You hadn’t changed out of your sweats from yesterday, your hair was a tangled mess and you had an angry blind pimple taking up most of the space on your chin. Also, you had been crying, a lot.

“I’ll kill him,” Olivia pulled you into a hug.

“You don’t even know what happened,” you sobbed into her shoulder.

“I don’t have to,” she said with simple finality. “I will kill him.”

She handed you a bottle of cold Rose and pulled another two out of her bag. “We’re skipping glasses tonight. Tell me everything.”

You unscrewed the top of the bottle, taking a long swig. “It just-just came out of nowhere? Am I fucking stupid, Liv?” You flopped back onto the couch, hugging the wine close. Olivia sat next to you, dragging your legs over her lap. 

“You’re not stupid,” she replied firmly, “he’s a fucking donkey-brained dickhead.”

“He just cares about his family,” you moaned. You couldn’t fault him for it. 

“Nuh-uh, nuh-uh, what did he say?” 

You handed Olivia your phone, open to the last message from Frankie. You watched her face as she read the message; the raised brow, mouth twisted in disgust. She had never been great at hiding emotion.

“I never thought he would be so spineless to do something like this over a text. I’m sorry I got you into this.” Olivia took your hand, squeezing it in hers.

You sniffled. “Not your fault, I even warned myself not to get attached to him. I wrote myself a stupid note and everything.”

“You wrote a note?”

Nodding miserably, you pulled the note you had written almost two months ago out of the pocket of your sweats. You had fished it out of your drawer last night, reading it and the text over and over again, hating yourself.

“Holy fuck you wrote a note,” Olivia handed the note back. You decided to either set it on fire or shove it in the garbage disposal. “Alright, here’s what we’re gonna do tonight.” You lifted your head slightly, decided that was too much effort and let it thunk back down on the arm of the couch.

“First, I’m washing your hair. Then, you’ve still got that mud mask, right? Slapping that on you, no arguments. Third, take out for dinner. And then maybe, if you’re feeling up to it, murder?”

“I’m not hungry,” you protested. You had lost your appetite last night and had only had a handful of shredded cheese in the day that had followed.

“You will be,” Olivia promised. 

She guided you gently to your bathroom, helping you take off your sweats. “Are you wearing deodorant?”

“I think I forgot it,” you held back the sob. 

“Oh, babe. No wonder you stink.”

You couldn’t help it - the sobs turned into laughs. It was the exact type of thing you would have said to her before doing what she did next, which was shove you under the warm water of the shower. 

Olivia successfully distracted you, her fingers almost pulling your hair clean out of your skull as she lathered the shampoo.

“Fucking hell! Don’t quit your day job.”

“I don’t have the skills to be a hairdresser. Or the patience.”

“Those bangs you have yourself in college beg to differ.”

“Bitch!” Olivia laughed as she sprayed you in the face with the shower nozzle. Quickly, you were both doubled over laughing, dripping with soap and water, a temporary but desperately needed reprieve from the tears.

Once your hair was washed, you were dressed in fresh clothes and sitting on the rug, leaning against Olivia’s legs as she combed your hair. The wine was being steadily depleted, the TV on Youtube showing the ‘Most Shocking Discoveries on Kitchen Nightmares’. It took you back to your college days, when you and Olivia had first roomed together, self-care nights when one of you was feeling heartbroken or downtrodden. 

You deleted and blocked Frankie’s number, not wanting to have the option of drunk calling him and embarrassing yourself even further.

“This is such bullshit,” Olivia muttered, glaring drunkenly at her phone. 

“What?”

“I’m trying to get William to bring us more hooch but the sonov’a bitch isn’t answering his phone. Lemme try Benjamin.”

“I’ve got some weed somewhere,” you offered. Olivia gripped your shoulders, eyes wide.

“How much?”

“Enough.”

An hour later, the pair of you were sitting out in the backyard, illuminated by the fairy lights that you had strung up the previous spring, steadily getting higher and drunker. “Should we order pizza or that new Japanese place?”

You shrugged, stomach rumbling. A reminder that you hadn’t eaten, and a reminder that your heart still ached under all that numbing. “Both, but get Ben to pick it up when he get us the drinks.”

Olivia shot finger guns at you. “Think he’ll go for it?”

You passed her the joint. “He has to if he doesn’t want to get wailed on.” Olivia snorted and pressed her phone to her ear.

“Hey, yeah, it’s me - no, shut the fu - no listen to me for one fucking second, you douche! No, no, here’s what’s happening . . . listen to me fuck, we’re getting pizza and Japanese, we need you to pick them up . . . why? Because delivery is expensive, you walnut. Ugh, yes, you can have some, obviously. No . . . yeah, I’ll explain why when you get here. Just an FYI, though, your stupid ‘friend’ is a spineless, brainless jellyfish! I’ll text you the address. Yeah, yeah, I love you too. Oh, and just come around the back when you get here.”

You ordered the pizza while Olivia ordered the Japanese, calling out food options to one another as you selected add to cart. It was probably more food than either of you could eat, even with Benny’s help, but by god, if you weren’t going to stuff your face until your shorts didn’t button, and then just a little more.

The man in question arrived a little later, holding the drinks in one hand and the bags of food in the other. “Ya’ll really gonna eat all this?”

“Are you really asking us that right now?” Olivia took a bag from him, clearing space so he could sit on the grass. Benny shrugged and flipped open a box of pizza. 

“While I’m honored to be invited to your backyard picnic-”

“Technically, you weren’t invited-”

“I just gotta know what the hell is going on.”

You sighed and grabbed a container of gyoza. “Heartbreak.” Benny waited patiently for you to continue. “Frankie . . . he uh, well, he wants to make it work with Ariel, I guess. No, I don’t guess. That’s exactly what he said in the text.”

Benny sat back, looking confused. “He texted that? He didn’t call?”

You nodded, taking another gyoza. That was what hurt the most - that he didn’t even have the fucking balls to call. A call, at least, would have allowed you to hear him say it, and allowed you to call him a dick. It would have given you some sort of closure. 

Instead, all you got was a stupid fucking text message.

You took a deep breath, pushing down the anger that was beginning to bubble up along with the sadness. Your voice took on an edge as you spoke. “I just wasn’t fucking important enough to warrant a conversation.”

“Ariel?” Benny was perplexed, scratching at his chin with his free hand. “They don’t even like each other as people. The only reason they still talk is because of Lails.”

Apparently, they liked each other a lot more than Benny thought. You watched as Benny shook his head, mouth moving soundlessly. You could see the cogs turning in his brain. 

Benny stayed a few more hours, long after the food went cold and the wine warm. You could hear the ocean, steady in its crashing waves. The topic of Frankie was now being avoided altogether, and you had successfully avoided tearing up for almost a full hour. 

Well, thirty-seven minutes. Not that you were checking.

“Would you be sad if I moved to Antarctica?” 

Benny and Olivia looked at you, and it struck you just how similar they looked. Fuck, slap a beard on her or a wig on him and they’d be almost indistinguishable. 

“You hate the cold,” Olivia said simply.

“I could tolerate it,” you shot back. There were many benefits to Antarctica; the marine life, isolation, something new, as far away from heartbreak as humanly possible . . . really, it had everything you needed.

“I’ll take you seriously when you’re not baked.”

“You should always take me seriously,” you deadpanned, “I’m the most serious person I know. I don’t know what a joke is.”

“If you for real flee the fucking country I’m living here.”

“It’s happening.” 

It wasn’t, in any capacity, happening. But it got you thinking that maybe you needed a holiday; probably not to Antarctica, but somewhere where you needed your passport to get into. Maybe you would become one of those people who traveled the world with just their wits and backpack. That was manageable.

“Ben, have you done much international travel?”

He shrugged. “A little bit here and there.”

“Any recommendations?”

“I hear Norway is nice.”

“You’ve never been to Norway.” Olivia raised a brow.

“I hear it’s nice, though. I don’t have to be a fucking Lonely Planet guide to hear stuff.”

It was past midnight by the time your eyelids started feeling heavy, your body weary. You closed your eyes, letting the night wash over you. Benny and Olivia were bickering about something, from what you gathered it had something to do with an ex of Benny’s contacting Olivia. 

Without meaning to, you fell asleep. Your heart still ached for Frankie, for what could have been, for the fool you had been. But it hurt just a tiny bit less.

Eventually, it wouldn’t hurt at all.

~

The pounding on his door came halfway through eating dinner. Frankie set down his bowl, paused the show he was watching, and stood. Before he had even gotten halfway to the door, the pounding sounded again. “Alright, I’m coming!” He opened the door, glaring at Benny who had his fist raised. “What?”

“Are you fucking okay?” Benny pushed past, looking for god knew what. “Are you being held hostage? Do you have, what’s it called, fuckin’ Stockholm Syndrome?”

Frankie followed. “What?”

Benny stopped in the kitchen, apparently given up on his search. “That’s the only explanation for you wanting to get back together with Ariel?”

Now Frankie really was confused. “Ariel?”

“Look, Fish, I love you, but is this honestly the best thing for you? I’ve been reading a lot about how we value oursel-”

“What are you talking about?”

“You and Ariel, man. I know the divorce was hard, but I thought you were moving on.”

“I have moved on?” Frankie thought of you, how he wouldn’t have entertained the idea of you if he wasn’t well and truly moved on. 

“Then why,” Benny threw his hands in the air as he spoke, “are you and Ariel gettin’ back together?”

“We’re not,” Frankie said firmly, though still confused. “Where did you even get that idea?”

“Where-where did I get the idea? I’ll tell you where, Francisco! The fucking text that you sent the one person on this planet who I think is your whole fucking soulmate. And guess what, now she’s thinking about moving to Antarctica!”

“I never sent anything like that,” Frankie said quietly, mind racing. He had been trying to get through to you ever since Ariel and Laila had left, but you had been radio silent so far. He had chalked it up to you being busy - you probably had turned your phone off or were out on the ocean, out of cell range.

He grabbed his phone from the counter and immediately pressed the buttons to call you. As he expected, it went straight to a robotic voice telling him the call could not be connected. 

“Where is she?” Frankie looked at Benny with pleading eyes, now struck with the realisation that with every single moment that passed, it would be less likely that you would ever speak to him again. 

“At home, probably. She was still pretty upset when I left.”

“Lock up when you leave!” Frankie was out the door and in his truck in moments. He knew exactly what had happened, how this had happened. Now he just had to hope that you believed him when he explained. 

Frankie wouldn’t be surprised if you didn’t even give him the time of day. God knew he didn’t deserve it after being such a fool. And he had been, he thought firmly, for trusting that Ariel wouldn’t pull some shit like this after he had suggested she stay the night so she and Lails could avoid an accident on the drive back to Tampa. 

When he was in the shower, probably or . . . no. Ariel had asked to use his phone; hers was dead and his charger wasn’t compatible. She needed to let her parents know about the change in plan so they didn’t go sick with worry when they didn’t show up. 

Frankie turned onto your street, palms slick with sweat. He could only hope that you’d listen, that you’d understand. 

He parked behind your car, pulled his cap off and ran his fingers through his hair. He didn’t put it back on as he knocked on your door, heart in his throat as he waited for you to answer.

@laichka @paintlavillered @idreamofboobear @pjkimrn @gracie7209 @sunnshineeexoxo @lorosette @fangirl-316 @dihra-vesa @astoryisaloveaffair @theanothersherlockian @pedritobalmando @blub-senpai @maievdenoir @prostitute-robot-from-the-future @bobbydearest @icanbeyourjedi @goldielocks2004 @1800-fight-me @littledragonlady @girlimjusttryingtoreadfanfics @ficsbynight @hotchlover @dobbyjen @athalien @vanered15 @jitterbugs927 @ritasantosworld @gaypoetsblog

#fransisco morales #the wedding date #frankie morales x reader #frankie morales fanfiction

[emoweeb-the-simp]

someone said yes to the tf2 post so fuck it we ball with

general merc relationships hcs!!!

(friendship & dating)

i'm trying to make this as gender neutral as possible. also no romance w pyro bcs i hc him as aroace :) s/o means significant other, but in this case, a petname for a gf, bf, etc!

Scout

() scout is the friend ever

() he has got your back!!!

() adhd icon

() maybe with enough convincing, you teach this man how to READ.

() ...& then he falls for you.

() he just sees you one day & is like "wait why are they cute now"

() he just starts joking about wanting to date like "yo what if we kissed lol" as a joke

() & YOU ACTUALLY KISS HIM.

() he's red now

() like

() redder than a cherry & tomato combined

() he makes it real obv that you both are dating, he means well though </3

() "GUESS WHO'S GOT A (s/o) NOW!!! SUCK IT!!"

() will stop if it makes you uncomfy or embarrassed :)

() huge on pda & petnames but they're corny petnames

() only problem is that he is easily jealous.

() "HEY! that's MY (s/o) pally, find ya own!"

() if some knucklehead even thinks of flirting with you, he will give them a very strongly worded speech about his s/o being his

() not to the point of being a yandere though, he will fight a dude for you but he won't (intentionally) kill someone!



Solly

(bear w me i'm not too good w soldier)

() this man. is autistic. i can confirm because i am autistic with adhd

() no convincing will change my mind

() ANYWAYS you are the most active person on the field other than scout

() & brave at that

() when this guy yelled at you, you kept a straight face

() no reaction or tears

() if you hate loud noises, he will be a lil more quiet to you after that :]

() also you became soldiers favorite person in the base bcs of that

() but the exercises are NOT easier but the only exception is that if you aren't really fit or you have a medical condition. he is NOT a monster.

() "MAGGOT!!!! JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE MY BEST FRIEND FOREVER DOES NOT MEAN IT SHALL BE EASIER!!!"

() this man can GRILL

() he has some good grilling skills, but not cooking skills.

() solly slowly falls for you but doesn't even know it.

() & when he DOES realize it's love, he is IMMEDIATE to ask you

() "HEY CUPCAKE! DO YOU WANNA DATE ME?"

() you are VERY flustered

() but you return his feelings ofc & now when someone slightly insults or teases you, he will yell at them.

() "MY (s/o) IS NOT A BASTARD, YOU ARE!!! NOW DROP & GIVE US 20!"

() you are his chill pill. you're the only person who can calm him down

() like scout, he easily gets jealous.

() he thinks you're a blessing to 'murica & he NEVER says that to anyone so he means it <3

() he has a hidden soft side that you activate in him & it is the most adorable thing ever <333333



Pyro

(nonromantic btw)

() you became besties the day you understood him.

() he isn't really a bad guy :)

() he is roommates w engi.

() "ah, ya here to see pyro again? don't stress about it, hun, come on in." :)

() you LOVE drawing together

() he compliments everything you do & hypes you up!! :D

() MANCHILD

() despite being besties, he will NEVER. EVER. show what's under the mask.

() only engineer & medic know, & they will NOT tell you. >:(

() "sorry kid, i can't tell ya what's under the mask."

() "HAH! do you zhink I vould tell YOU?! not in a MILLION YEARS!!"

() you're one of the only people stopping him from "going into pyroland" (committing arson)



Engineer

(tw: amputation mention!! just one but STILL!!!)

() you show a heavy interest in scientific/engineering stuff

() so

() you attract him

() he shows you his gunslinger, short circuit, etc., & you're all impressed

() you then ask if he had no arm at birth so he made the lil hand attachments & he just goes "oh hahah yeah yeah..."

() he had it amputated by the medic turns out. he keeps it a secret between himself & the doctor to this day.

() he has

() the best

() cooking

() ever.

() like fr

() LET. HIM. COOK.

() when he falls for you, he immediately knows

() but he's been heartbroken before

() so, he just stares at you with loving eyes, daydreaming about a future life that may never happen...

() ...until py(b)ro does eventually make him confess because he learned from the doctor that compressing feelings is bad & it is big nono bad >:(

() he couldn't say no to that level of cuteness! so...

() he confesses to you via love song on his guitar

() ain't no way you're saying no to this. if you do, no you didn't you said yes shhhhhh

() every once in a while, he'll let you hold his gunslinger hand :')

() it's cold but also warm?????

() but fyi, he is a busy man

() you have to remind him to sleep or he will accidentally pull an all-nighter

() but his cuddles make up for it ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა

() SOFTEST TUMMY EVER <33333333333333333

() you help each other with burnout ofc



Demoman

() you stole his last scrumpy

() oh boy was he PISSED at you

() you two both yelled at each other & it almost got physical

() ...

() then you two became best friends.

() like WHAT IN THE HELL?

() so now you both share drinks every night together <3

() which is how he fell for you

() you're tough, strong, & also a lil sassy!!

() he took a lil too many drinks one night &-

() "eruhhhhhh i think i love ye man..." & then proceeds to slur his words furthermore

() you're cuddling him when he wakes up & he almost has a heart attack

() but he doesn't leave your arms

() he snuggles closer to you <3

() this man is tied w engineer for the best cuddles imo they are TEDDY BEARS

() protects you at all costs

() oh btw his eyelander hates him being so lovey-dovey

() but you two will have small talk

() do not touch eyelander

() DO NOT TOUCH EYELANDER

() DO N O T TOUCH EYELANDER

() eyelander will be pissed & trying to attack you while demoman will worried

() not fun. 1/10. do not recommend



Heavy

() you were fluent in russian & english

() so you served to him as a translator for a bit

() he seemed intimidating

() one day you were doing your workout in the base & heavy noticed & was like " little person strong??"

() so you & him are gr8 friends now

() will give you a crumb of the sandvich

() that's it though

() you are always complementing sasha/sascha & apparently heavy can speak gun because heavy is saying that sasha/sascha says thanks :)

() idk if it's sasha or sascha i seen both so bear w me

() he eventually, like everyone else on this list, falls for you

() like engineer, he makes some sort of art with words for you

() unlike engineer though, it's a poem <3333333

() it's specifically in russian so no one but you or him can understand it

() became lovey lovey with him FAST

() he is the equivalent of a bear

() a lil intimidating at first

() but depending on who you are, he loves you <3

() will stop guys flirting w you UNINTENTIONALLY

() "hey sweetch- HOLY SHIT-" *running* () "hm? why..why was little boy running?"

() if he ever forgets a certain word in english, he comes to you :)

() lifts you up A LOT

() he means well by it

() if you tell him to not do that, he ofc will stop for you



Medic

() you didn't take his bullshittery. you were thinking:

() "MAN IF YOU DON'T CUT THAT SHIT OUT-"

() but instead of thinking it, you accidentally said it.

() oops.

() thankfully it was just you & him.

() you knew a thing or two about medical stuff so you two bonded!!!

() you, him & engi helped w experiments that either of you had!

() you also talked about random things

() he is secretly a softie & falls HARD for you

() like with engi, he's afraid to tell you because he's been heartbroken as well,

() but he does want to be alone with you more often than usual,

() so you figure him out & wait

() he does eventually confess, & was very relieved that you felt mutual with him

() yeah you two spend a lot of time together more, but ofc you still hang out w engi!!

() it wld be very rude to just leave him behind like that >:(

() although he will accidentally pull an all-nighter too if you forget to make him come to bed.

() calls you "mein Täubchen" or any other german petname he can think of

() you & his doves are close friends

() OH one time you & him were practically cuddling on his chair while he was working right, & then archimedes flew on down to your head & rested there

() you're sure it was to just get medics attention but medic LOVED it

() you were asleep though :(



Sniper

() loner

() you become friends after making sure he isn't being attacked by a spy

() you give him a warning sign that there lies a spy

() now he lies behind sniper

() "ey, thank ye for earlier"

() "ah no worries, i'm always glad to help!"

() you'll visit his van & chill

() doesn't even realize he's fell

() he just zones out on you a lot more.

() you confess first & he's like "wait that was the feeling?"

() he's never felt this way give him a break </3

() shy, at first

() he does branch out to you more

() takes you out on camping & maybe hunting dates if you're comfy with it :)

() keeps the relationship PRIVATE

() "ey look luv, as much as i love ya, if we share this with anyone, our careers are done for"

() means it in the best way though



Spy

() flirts with each other abound

() started as jokes, ended in actual love

() you eventually ask "hey are we actually dating?"

() he says "maybe, if you want to" to mess w you & flirt

() you SWOONED just by those words

() so you two are ALREADY dating

() you go FAST with him friendship & relationship wise

() by the second date, you two probably 👉👌

() of course, he is taking this relationship TO THE GRAVE.

() if ANY rumor were to get out about "spy has a (s/o)", he will deny it until EVERYONE is convinced.

() he loves you oh so much

() he TRULY means well & will protect you by any means necessary

() after he checks everywhere to be sure nobody is looking, he'll show you what's under the mask & tell you his real name

() the only rule with that is to call him by his name in private

() & ONLY in private

() outside, you two may never be alone

() he'll ramble to you about his life as you sleep on his chest <3



sorry it took a bit, school & life always kick my ass

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #scout tf2 #soldier tf2 #pyro tf2 #demoman tf2 #engineer tf2 #engi tf2 #heavy weapons guy #heavy tf2 #medic tf2 #sniper tf2 #spy tf2 #emoweeb actually has inspiration wow(emo writes) #THE SILLYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (tf2 tag)

[hazbinbossbrainrot]

Proof that Blitz is in LOVE with Stolas in return (but won’t admit it and isn’t ready to yet):

• In 1x05: “Moonlight Harvest Festival”

* Stolas announced he needed the grimoire for the annual Moonlight Harvest Festival (and Blitz need it too for 15 clients waiting for “heads to roll” >>> ☠️ = 💥 🔫)

• Stolas convinced Blitz to accompany him to the event — announcing that “they (I.M.P) couldn’t do jackshit without his book anyway” — and had eventually agreed to it

* After Stolas playfully apologised to Blitz for making his clients wait he said without hesitation “oh, fuck my clients”

(Which, in my opinion, sounds more like putting his boyfriend over work. Like: 'you’re coming to support me of this thing I'm going to be the host of, right?' 'of course I am! Fuck work!', funny how situationship works 😏)

• After Millie announced that the prince was her boss’s “boyfriend” Blitz told her that he wasn’t above hitting a female in front of Joe

(BUT! He didn’t exactly deny it either and he could have said 'Ew! No! Stolas is NOT my boyfriend' etc so, call it what you want, whether it be embarrassment or something else, but I know denial when I see it 😏)

* Blitz ties to explain his relationship with Stolas — after Striker asked how he had “conned that ditzy blue blood” — and had got NERVOUS (or maybe didn’t know how to label what their relationship is) about the question:

• Blitz becomes “boyfriend activated” (LMAO) after he had learnt that Striker was trying to assassinate Stolas behind the former’s back

(Now an interesting thing here is — though he referred to Stolas as his “easiest lengthy ticket to Earth” — that even with him dead he could have continued with the grimoire without the strings attached, but no, he decided to save the Prince’s life by stopping Striker. Unless you care about someone (platonic or romantic) enough to NOT want to have them killed

• Blitz even had that “boyfriend” look (filled with insecurities) when Striker told him that Stolas treated him nothing — allegedly — more than a “plaything”

• In 1x06 “Truth Seekers”

* Blitz looked at Stolas’s demonic form in awe (like you would to a boyfriend doing something nice for you like SAVING your goddamn life 😆)

• He closed his eyes — seemingly to enjoy the affection or he was just mid-eye roll — when Stolas caressed his face (before lecturing him about how he had been caught by humans etc)

* Then again Blitz HAD just returned from his psychological torture where Stolas had caressed him during his trip 😵‍💫

• He was nervous (?) when he leaned forward towards Stolas for “rescuing him” and his crew, even initiated the French kiss furthermore

• In 1x07 “Ozzie’s”

(Part 1: Blitz’s POV)

1) Blitz was pacing back and forth like he was a nervous boyfriend for his first date (when in reality he was irritated by Stolas’s “tardiness” & didn’t want to miss out on M&M’s date night)

2) Both during and after Ozzie’ Blitz was heartbroken when Stolas hid his face from him (normally you wouldn’t care about that if you were a one-night-stand because you made an agreement to not fall in love which is the basic rule of it)

3) Blitz actually drove Stolas home, who could’ve easily just had created a portal to the Goetia mansion

* Which was actually MORE decent than anything we’ve seen Blitz do

4) The first thing that came up in Blitz’s photos him was Stolas and cuddling after sleeping together. Again, if you were just a ONS (and nothing more) why would you have something like that alongside your friends & family unless you CARE)

• In 1x08 “Queen Bee”

(Part 2: Loona’s POV)

• Blitz showed clear evidence that he was hurt from the events of “Ozzie’s” (Part 1) and hinted it without actually bringing it up publicly and pretty much drank his problems away under the table

“You believe the night I’ve had. I need this shit.” - Blitz in 1x08 hinting at his cataclysmic “date” with Stolas

• At the end of episode Blitz slurred out the names of people he’s mostly close to (outside of his daughter of course 😆) which are M&M — for obvious reasons — but also Stolas

• 2x01 “The Circus”

* N/A

• 2x02

• Blitz nervously asked Moxxie what he was going to tell Stolas (talk about husband activated) and Octavia making off with the grimoire into the human world

* Stolas becomes furious with Blitz — after he had received the phone call (again, PISSED husband activated 😆)

• Blitz actually blushed at the sight of Stolas’s human form before shaking it off

* Stolitz also argued like a normal couple would (more on of a husband level which Blitz briefly admired (if not a little shocked) him for the self-confidence which soon turned into annoyance; probably because he couldn’t manipulate the owl anymore >>> especially when it came to his missing daughter 😬)

• Blitz stilled at Stolas’s dominance and had swallowed hard by clear arousal (after being reassured / flirted with about “his performance in bed”

• After Stolas voiced his concern to Blitz about Octavia’s safety and who had reassured him — on a boyfriend / husband level 😏 — and that “she was in good hands”

* Related as a dad, himself, if Loona gone missing and or was been in danger

• 2x03 “Exes and Oohs”

• Equates Chaz’s bedroom performance in comparison to Stolas’s (okay I might be reading it a little bit too much, but whatever, I know Blitz has feelings for the Prince and it’s at the back of his mind, despite what happened at Ozzie’s 😈)

• Complains to Millie about how Chaz wasn’t even rich (hm… who ELSE do we know is insanely rich? 😉)

• 2x04 “Western Energy”

• Blitz became enraged when he found out that Stolas was kidnapped (not to mention it was bad timing because he had an appointment at the hospital for Loona’s hellbies shot)

• Blitz was the first one to have caught sight of Stolas — or at least his tailpiece — hanging off the stretcher and was deeply concerned (on a boyfriend / husband platonic level) about his condition and was surprised that he could even be hurt

• Blitz platonically sent a text message to Stolas for him to “get better soon” with a sad face at the end of it

* but had felt too guilty — not knowing that Stolas could be hurt physically due to not taking his kidnapping seriously — to respond when told he could visit him in hospital

• 2x08 “The Full Moon” (TBA)

#stolitz needs to get married already!!! 🥰 #proof blitz has feelings for stolas 😏 #stolas of the ars goetia #gay #blitz is bad at feelings #love is love #constantly updated #stolas x blitz 🏳️‍🌈 #blitz buckzo #helluva boss #pansexual

[simthorium]

“Damn, so he broke up with you at your own house?” Yara said, sitting in Ruben’s car with him in the middle of the night. “That’s cold.”

“You think breaking up in public would’ve been better?” Ruben asked. “Yeah, duh,” said Yara. “Then you can avoid that place and the bad memories attached forever! You can’t just leave your home. Well, you can, since you have a tendency to run away all the time.” Ruben lightly punched Yara in the shoulder. “You’re not helping,” he said with a laugh. “Am too,” she said, smiling. “Got you to laugh. “Yeah, I guess you did,” said Ruben.

The two chatted for a bit more, into the wee hours of the night. Soon, it was time for Yara to go home, so they exited and hugged. “You sure you don’t want me to drive you?” Ruben asked. “I mean, we were in the car the entire time.” “Nah, I’m fine with walking,” Yara said. “I’ve got a taser and pepper spray, so I’m prepared.” “Wow,” Ruben said. “Remind me never to fuck with you.” “As if you need reminding,” she said.

When they parted, Ruben’s hands lingered on Yara’s hips for just a moment. He felt a fluttery feeling stick in his chest as his friend smiled at him, her face just inches away from his. He let out a nervous laugh and backed up fast. “You good?” Yara asked. “Yeah, fine,” Ruben said, clearing his throat. “Well, goodnight.” Ruben waved and rushed inside, leaving Yara looking confused in the driveway.

Ruben lay in his bed, thinking. He couldn’t have a crush on Yara, could he? He’d just gotten out of...well, not a relationship, exactly. But something close. He didn’t feel heartbroken over Rakesh, but he wasn’t sure if he was ready to go down that road again. The Legacy and its implications were a lot to handle, and he didn’t really feel like getting involved with someone else that couldn’t handle it.

But Yara could handle it, he thought. She knew all about his predicament, as much as he hated it. She’d encouraged him to reconcile with his parents, and she’d been there for him through all of the drama. And she’d also called him out when he was being stubborn and stupid. Ruben scrubbed his face with his hands, trying to work out feelings that had been dormant for some time.

#Zarro legacy #generation 7 #Ruben #Yara #Pleasantview

[indelibleevidence]

Strings Attached

Author's Note: I like Clem, but I hate that he did this. A tiny tag to 3x11's opening Jane/Clem scene, with underlying Jeller. Very angsty, and no happy ending in sight. I do think Jane would still ask for Clem to be included on the mission after this happened, because she wanted his expertise, and as a fuck-you to Kurt.

***

Jane stared down at Clem's hand. It rested on her thigh, warm and suggestive, and a tendril of desire unfurled in her abdomen. Why not? There's no ring on this finger anymore. And it would be so good to forget about all this, just for a little while.

She was too emotionally exhausted and indecisive to make herself move, either towards him, or away.

Kurt would be so--

She discarded the thought before it could blossom. Kurt had betrayed her.

But she'd been hiding something from him, too. Disgust rose to drown out her attraction to Clem - at Kurt, at herself...

At Clem, for trying this now, tonight, right after she'd unburdened herself.

He's never known me when I wasn't grieving. In Europe, it was for my old life, and Kurt, and Roman choosing Shepherd over me. Now, it's for Avery. Why am I confiding in him about this, and about Kurt? He's the worst person I could have come to.

She shifted, got to her feet, made her excuses. Clem asked her to stay, told her he'd keep his hands to himself, and anger dragged itself from its bed of numb exhaustion.

He's a good man - I know him well enough to know that much. But I just told him what I'm going through. He knows how much pain I'm in. This feels all wrong. And what secrets is he keeping from me?

She made herself keep things light, hugged Clem, told him she'd text him tomorrow. Maybe she was a little abrupt, because he reached out to her as she stepped past the threshold of his hotel room.

"Jane, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to push."

She looked back and saw sincerity there, but also longing. The same kind of heartbroken look Kurt had been giving her all week, but with none of the guilt.

This wasn't Europe, and she wasn't the Jane Clem had fallen for. That Jane had died the instant she'd seen Kurt's wedding ring, still on his finger after eighteen months apart.

"Yes, you did," she told Clem, attempting to soften the words with a smile. "Goodnight."

She didn't stick around to hear his reply, pushing through the door to the stairwell at a brisk walk. She made it down two flights of stairs before sinking into a crouch on the bottom step, hunching over herself and sobbing silently against her knees.

All she'd wanted was empathy from someone with no connection to her husband, but Clem's support came with strings attached, that much was plain. Now she felt more isolated than ever.

Avery was dead. Her marriage was dead. Her friendship with Clem was on life support, replaced by something far more complicated than she'd ever wanted - now that he'd tasted more, they couldn't go back.

If Roman had wanted her as alone and heartbroken, he'd succeeded.

#blindspot #blindspot rewatch 2022 #blindspot 3x11 #blindspot fanfic

[enigmatic-97]

Basket case

He touched a part of me I'll never get back. A part of me stays with him & I hope it haunts him till his death. I loved & lost. I'm still deciding if it was worth the cost. We were both broken children. Searching for love to scared of suffering the cost. We still suffered anyway. He may have moved on. Maybe he really has & this is all make believe but I swear to God, he felt it too. From the moment his eyes touched mine. I could feel a light I had lost reignite. Am I the crazy ex or the girl that got away. I wish I knew. No, I think I'm the crazy one. I get to emotionally attached. I overreact. I stay silent & let people walk away. I don't try. I get too sad. I break everything I touch. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. I am a victim. I hide everything deep inside. Stop living in the past. You have to get over it. Now you're thinking like mom. I'm still heartbroken. Waiting for prince charming. Yet I'm the one holding my weight. Maybe I just think that cause I fear what people would say if I unloaded all this fear.

Tears I shed for the child that never lived. Dead lost boy. You never learned to fly. You stopped believing & accepted their reality.  I'm sorry I couldn't get to you. I really wanted to save us too. Not all this was bad we had strong connections even if they take it in a negative way. Living in my own dimension. No grip on gravity I float with the clouds. I forgot how you never accepted me. It wasn't just dad.  Ranting all the thoughts I smoke from my head. This is all gibberish, yet someone will hear the point. Maybe it's just me in my own little world. I'd rather be like Alice & the crazies then run with the Normal's in Hell.

It's fine we're cool mental breakdowns are okay to have. We except ourselves from all sides. We mask this part of us up & fake a smile or a face claiming we don't give a fuck. I forgot my teenage self-had so much anger inside. I have the scars from very time we wanted to die. I suppressed the memories but it's still there in my soul. I'm decoding all the reasons. Living in the past has given me many reasons. Maybe I should just get therapy instead. - BX

#writing #write #writer #emo #instanity #mental energy #mental #poetry #female writers #poet #thoughts #feelings #sad girl #punk #misfits #intp #scoripio #mercury #creative #creative expression #self expression #self #talking with myself #basket case #writers on tumblr #writings #writing therapy #lucky #888 #my mind & me

[psychedelicmadness666]

The Long Lost Love of a Friend from School (Part 2)

I still know her. She only views me as a friend but I saw her more than that and I still feel like there was a spark. Everything just dies in the end. The summer of 2018 went by and I still haven't talked to her but I still had her streak on Snapchat. So, I was somewhat hopeful. I regret everything in my life. This was the biggest mistake I ever made in my life because I never met anyone like her. I got more depressed but I still tried to live on and go through life while still thinking about her. I still thought she was beautiful without her makeup. I was attached to her personality. The new year of high school comes up and she saw me walk to school alone and she picked me up. :D I was happy again. Maybe, this is a new chapter. We talked about stuff about school. She even noticed that I had a Tinder. I was only on there to troll women and saying stupid shit to them. Later on, she saw me but ignored me. So, I was disappointed and later humiliated too. I felt worthless afterwards. Of course, this happens to me because God must hate me and I am his little worthless plaything. So, my anger started to build up. I started to hate her just a little bit but not too much. She lost my streak on Snap and then the anger grew more. It's no longer disappointment and worthlessness. It was now anger. She blocked me on Instagram and Facebook. I started getting even more angrier and angsty. I was 17 year old virgin now more heartbroken than ever. She later sent a memory of me and her talking about my broken phone from last year of school. I was somewhat happy but a little confused on how to feel about this woman. Anger, sadness, and happy that she did that but only for this to fade away like always. I saw her again at the hallways and I said hi and she said hi back. It was mutual now. I just moved on at this point. I still thought about her though. I graduated and she wasn't there. 2019 and I decide to tell her how I feel. I even told her how I felt about her afterwards by text which is stupid. Never do it by text and do it by person. She basically rejected me lightly. She said "I am not ready for a relationship and that she loves me and cares for me." So, I accept it and moved on. She texted me and later asked to hang out. I accepted. Late of 2019, we hung out and nothing happened. She moved to Wyoming with her brother. I was sad but I wish her good luck. Later on, I applied to the other Taco Bell where I live for work and she was there to my surprise and she was excited to see me. She hugged me and everything. This made me happy. Only for it to just go to shit like always. I cried in the bathroom because I felt so worthless. She later then quit weeks later. I ask to hang out and she said she was busy. 2020 sucked. I saw her on Tinder and I was again devastated. I hate this shit. I hate myself. It's my fault for not being a man and asking her in person how I felt. 2021 comes by, she texts me and asks how I am doing. I told her, I'm feeling ok. Later on, nothing happens. She had a boyfriend, why the fuck does she care for me? I am worthless anyways. 2022 happens and I decided enough is enough. It's my turn to block her. I blocked her on Snapchat. She then later adds me on Instagram. And like a damn fool, I fall for it. I can't help myself by to feel terrible about blocking her. I texted her to see if I can talk to her more. I find out she's dating someone. I, again felt so angry. I just want to be felt alone. She adds me on Facebook and then I accept it. This time, I said nothing to her. I was struggling and she said "You can talk to me." I talk to her like a damn fool. She takes forever to reply. This plays tricks in my head. I felt worthless after all she done to me. I felt angry again. I hate the world. So, I blocked her again. She still had my phone number. I had enough. I told her to go away and never wanted to talk to her because she broke my heart. And she told me that she is sorry. I later then felt sorry and apologize for my dumb behavior and that she was busy with work. I told her about my PTSD and she felt sorry for me.

[vizthedatum]

Leaving you meant giving up my family

One of the worst parts about leaving you was losing the family that I had grown attached to and loved.

Do they (my former family) know I still love all of them?

Do they know how much I yearned and appreciated having a mother - a mother who cared about me? A mother with who I felt such a deep connection. Or all the siblings who I loved like they were my own blood. Do they even believe me. Do they even care. Are they heartbroken about it all.

-- One of my last messages to my former mom before I basically cut off contact with her too (I miss her so much):

"Beth, do you know why I mentioned in this thread that I was permanently disabled? Because your child angrily screamed (and not just once) that my "reckless behavior regarding covid" would lead to them being "permanently disabled." Do you know how offensive it is to hear that? 

Look - it was stupid of me to quit my job and lose my health insurance when I could have coasted - but Jon promised to put me on their health insurance to help me cover my bladder treatments (which by the way make it so that I don't pee blood and be in massive pain). Metafy's insurance was not in-network for my treatments. And Jon barely helped me figure out health insurance alternatives.

Why am I saying all of this? Because your relatively able-bodied child fucked up my mind and body. They controlled me for months and screamed at me when they didn't get their way. They issued ultimatums. They told me that my behavior made them suicidal. And so much more. And I know they don't see it that way, but that is what happened. And I stayed because I loved them and thought I could help them get therapy and/or couple's counseling. I'm sorry I was so naive. Now I'm broke and I can't afford my medical treatments -- and I have barely any energy to figure out my enrollment for 2023 (because I spent a couple hours on the phone with Pennie today and also applied to jobs). But I will figure out a solution for myself... because I have to.

Anyway, thanks.

And no, Beth, I don't want your advice (however well-intentioned) about resources. You will never take my side because Jon is your child. So I don't trust you. Because Jon abused me. I don't care if any of you don't agree. I gave Jon my heart and soul and everything I could and while I wasn't always the cleanest and I made mistakes, I tried very hard in the relationship. But they didn't. I was the shiny new object that they loved until they got bored of me - was the abuse unintentional or intentional? I don't know. But they chose their job and their gaming OVER our relationship. And so much more.

Get fucking help."

#domestic violence #marriage #abuse #harm #disability #interstitial cystitis #family #breakup #heartbreak

[wachi-delectrico]

Hhhh feeling strange...

Finding it hard to reconcile the thoughts that

Not having any kind of sexual and/or romantic partner right now, and

Me being hot and sexy and desirable and deserving of love and affection

Aren't mutually exclusive...

Thinking about how it's fucked me up dependence-wise to having been in a romantic relationship since I was 13 til I was 23... But also thinking that I'd shown emotional dependency problems before that

Thinking about how I thought I was doing fine after ending said relationship, until this thing that happened now made me realize

Mentally I'd gotten over that relationship a long time before I thought of breaking it up

Without realizing I accidentally ended up emotionally/sexually attached to this person, and only noticed when I started getting the sense their feelings towards me were fading... Until they confirmed as much and that forced me to really rethink a lot of things (besides like, you know, basically feeling like I got my heart broken before I ever figured out what I wanted my relationship with this person to be like)

And I'm having such a hard time

Being happy around them when something very small happens and reminds me that things can't be like they were before, not even that long ago

Not thinking they must think I'm weird and stupid and excessive and making them uncomfortable by feeling this way, and visibly having a hard time with it

Not worrying about never being able to be calm and happy around them again, and how they don't deserve a friend who feels like that

Not thinking "well, this is how things are now, but maybe in the future we could do that again..." when I know it's not healthy for me to hinge on that thought. If it were to happen, I'd have to be over this first before something like that could be healthy... And who knows if that's something I'd even want. For some reason, the thought of not wanting it in the future is really scary...

And I don't know...

And I keep having to chat with crisis prevention hotlines because I feel so embarrassed about feeling this way; too embarrassed about the idea of my friends finding out and getting upset at me... I'm in this rollercoaster of emotions... One day I'm ok then the next day I'm a crying mess...

People keep saying "ow there's other people out there!" but as a demisexual guy, and a guy with big problems making new friends and acquaintances, I know it'll take me possibly literally years before I make new friends, real friends I talk to consistently, because that's how I work for some reason... And I don't even want to think about other people right now, I want to think about them, but since I shouldn't think about them then I don't want to think about anyone at all...

And it's so hard... And I don't know what else to do...

And my mind ends up in a loop of sadness and guilt and anger towards myself that's making me think of so much harm... And I'm worried about not being able to stop it... But I'm also worried about telling my family, about getting professional help...

And I hate feeling like I'm not allowed to be heartbroken by this happening, because of the weird rules in my brain. Maybe the first step towards healing is accepting I can feel this way...

I just want someone to hug, kiss, share things with, maybe get a little horny, but in a way that goes beyond just friends... I want to share life with someone, really be there for them, have them really be there for me, plan life together... And I don't know what to do with all these feelings and needs that I can't deal with anywhere...

I'm just so sorry for being the way I am and feeling the way I feel... I feel so stupid...

#Personal #Negative #rambling #Yeah.... #I don't know why I'm complaining if I didn't know what I wanted #Maybe I still don't know what I want #UGHHHH #Everything is just so confusing #I wish my brain would solve this already... #I want to stop feeling this way... #I've read about how this kind of thing is basically like grief #Grief for what was and never will be...

[bmpmp3]

I really love the gameplay mechanic of character permadeath in theory 'cause it can be used so creatively and bring in some neat strategy stuff but unfortunately in practice I'm a sentimental slut and I will cry

#certain roguelikes and so mamy srpgs.....love em but also never finish them because.... cries #watch me play fire emblem path of radiance and never get past the first 7 chapters because im so stressed out about rhys and soren #i love them and i dont want them to diee #someday id like to play darkest dungeon cause i think so much of it is so cool but also....i will cry #and like it's not that i want them to get rid of the permadeath!!! definitely not!!!! i just said how cool permadeath is!!!!!!!!! #it just yeah i am going to cry #im still heartbroken from losing sain in fire emblem gba when i was 11 #man even in games without permadeath I'm sentimental as FUCK i have this awful habit of never switch my party members in rpgs #because i got too attached to them too fast #i played most of radiant historia with marco and raynie only because I KNOW AHT IS SO USEFUL AND I LOVE HER AND SHES MY DAUGHTER BUT..... #raynie and marco.....theyre my BROS #theyve been with me since the very BEGINNING #also kingdom hearts god i always wanna play just with donald and goofy despite everything

[samalamabambam]

Dopamine machine 🅱️ROKE

#this week has been a Challenge™️ #sunday was great monday started off great tues-thurs were decidedly Not Great #i cant do online classes/ online learning #ive known this since my junior yr of high school #and now i have no choice but to take online courses (or drop out but thats not somethjng i want to do. i worked too hard to get here) #and on top of my ADD making things 10X more difficult for me ive got S.A.D. and i just had to move back to MA from Florida #it feels like im running a race where everyone but me is wearing roller skates with rockets attached and ive got plain sneakers #im falling behind and getting run over by those who were previously behind me #at least thats what it feels like #ADHD tag #covid-19 seriously fucked me over #i also cant help but think of the other people who have it worse than me like the international students who cant go home #or the students with ADHD symptoms that are worse than mine #or the people stuck in quarentine with abusers #or the lonely and heartbroken elderly who dont get to interact with their family #and it makes me feel like im making a big deal over something small and that i shouldnt be feeling as shitty as i am #*biggest and deepest of sighs* #...i miss my friends

[joaniejustwokeup]

Ok so I’m really tempted to write a fic that starts out basically a few weeks before Guillermo is brought on as a familiar. Nandor is heartbroken because his last lover/familiar just left him… again. And he blows up at Lazlo for having an orgy or something while he is “grieving” and they get into a huge fight.

“How can you be fucking around when the love of my life was hit by a bus!”

“It was a week ago, get over it man. And besides, Sasha is fine! You’re just upset that the second you turned him he was happily flying off into the sunset, never to be heard from again!”

“You shut your face hole!”

“Nandor, please, you do this every single time. You get a familiar. You get sickeningly attached and clingy. You turn them the second they so much as get a cold or papercut or some other gross mortal thing. They leave. It’s something like the twentieth time this has happened since we moved here. You’ve got to loosen up! Don’t get so attached!”

“Easy for you to say. You’d fuck anything that moved and eat them right afterwards!”

“How dare you! I’ll have you know I am currently on a strict virgin diet.”

“Oh please!”

“You just can’t let any mortal that shows you even a scrap of affection die, can you?”

“Yes I can!”

“Prove it! Take on a new familiar. God knows we need a new one, this place is starting to stink, and June really isn’t keeping up. Let your familiar live out their brief mortal life in happy servitude. And don’t turn them. No matter how many times they ask, no matter if they die. Just let them go.”

“And why should I agree to this? I mean I can do it no problem, but why should I lower myself to agreeing to such a stupid bet?”

“Hmm a wager is it? Yes, let’s make this interesting, shall we? If you don’t fall in love and turn your familiar, letting them either leave on their own or die in their own time, I will give you… first pick of victims for the next century.”

“Nadja will never agree to that.”

“Oh I have my ways of persuading her. But should you fail! You have to give me… your room, to do with as I please. And you will move into the basement with Colin Robinson.”

“… Fine. But you have to find the familiar. I miss my darling Sasha too much to even look at another mortal”

“Fine by me!” Then Lazlo proceeds to pick out the most caring, squishy, desperate-to-please, desperate-to-be-a-vampire boy he can find, shoving Guillermo at Nandor with the expectation of winning their bet within the year.

Nandor opens the door one evening to find this twenty-something guy smiling up at him.

“Hello Master Nandor! I’m Guillermo, your new familiar. Lazlo told me to meet you out here tonight. I’m so excited to meet you!”

And Nandor makes a face like he just bit into a lemon, before slamming the door in his face.

“Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck,” he says, hitting his head against the hallway wall.

“Uh Master Nandor, sir? Is everything ok?” Guillermo calls from behind the door.

“Oh yeah wonderful. Just fucking perfect Gerbo!”

“Um, it’s Guillermo…”

Nandor opens the door.

“Just come inside.” He says sounding resigned.

“Okay…”

Nandor spends the next few weeks trying to find reasons to hate Guillermo, but he never finds anything about him that inspires anything more than severe annoyance. He plays up his irritation though and keeps giving Guillermo really hard or impossible tasks, hoping he’ll leave before Nandor himself can get too attached. But he just stays. And Nandor… gets attached.

#wwdits #what we do in the shadows #nandor the relentless #nandor x guillermo #guillermo de la cruz #lazlo cravensworth #nandermo #fic idea #my writing

[rchlambr]

jnfdfsdj

#jacki.txt #sorry this will be my last text post of the day but im so scared for this semester #not bc of school work or anxiety even but how i haev relationships and ties with ppl there now and.. i really #am not emotionally stable to be a good friend rn #like.. i just want to be alone so bad #[redacted] is a different story i just dont want to see his fucking face in general and idc abt being his friend now #but with bea im scared i cant live up to what she wants from me as a friend rn #im scared ill literally see myself ruin a friendship #and its funny caus even tho i forced myself to engage with ppl and got friends i never thought anyone would actually like become attached #i feel so terrible #and its dumb how i sound rn bc i know i love her just as much n want to see her too #and would be heartbroken if she stopped being my friend for my lack of communication #i gues ill just go fuc myslef #literally when will i die

[niksfics]

↬ FATE

↬ PAIRINGS: kenma x f!reader (side aka rebound mention) miya atsumu x f!reader

↬ WARNINGS: a whole lotta angst, breakup, it’s an online relationship, kenma is cold and hurts ur feelings

↬ SUMMARY: your relationship with kenma really had felt like the last one. He was it, turns out he didn’t have similar feelings.

↬ A/N: alright loves!! This isn’t proofread at all it’s 2 in the morning I’ll edit when I wake up, butttt Thanks to my lovely ex girlfriend you are now being graced with this steaming pile of trash. (Lovely was not meant sarcastically at all she is in fact very lovely.) Ngl almost, if not all of this story is about my relationship with my ex gf. This is how I cope people. ￫ It’s taken me awhile to actually be able to right something that’s why things kinda stopped. Tbh after she broke up with me it’s been very hard for me to write so hopefully this helps! And I hope you enjoy!! I would also just like to say if it feels a lil weird it’s cause these are things I’ve actually written in my notes I tweaked it a little to fit the story but it’s straight from the source 😩

WC | 2.5K

You sighed as you opened your notes app. Your eyes scanning over all of the little facts and quirks he had told you about himself. All the stuff you’d wanted to remember. The stuff that had seemed so important to you before. Now it was meaningless, almost like facts about a stranger. Almost as if you hadn’t spent four months learning about and growing with eachother.

You scrolled down a little bit right under, how his favorite marvel character is Spider-Man and you chewed on your lip. Your fingers hovering above the keyboard on your phone. You looked over the facts again. The things he dislikes and the stuff he adores, the things he likes to collect to the way he feels passionately about a certain topic. You begin to type.

Friday June 25th 2022 12:22 Am

I cried again tonight, because I still love you. It’s been a month and six days since we broke up. It feels like there’s a hole in my chest. You seem to be doing fine though, so I’m happy for you! This is the second time since we’ve broken up that I’ve felt actual physical emotional pain in my chest. Remember when I told you how bad it hurt after we broke up? Remember how you didn’t even ask if I was ok? Didn’t even bother to answer. Do you remember that? I remember. I’ve thought about it every day since. I remember it being so bad I genuinely thought I was having a heart attack. Wasn’t until I’d called tetsu crying that he’d told me it was just emotional and I should probably try to relax.

I read through our old messages. I’ve never wanted something back so bad. Never wanted to beg anyone to stay till now. I wish you loved me like I love you. I wish I hadn’t grown so attached, wish I hadn’t fallen so deeply into love with you. I wish it wasn’t my fault that we broke up. I wish I wasn’t so fucking scared. I wish I was fearless. Wish I could rise into love bravely. I wish I was brave when it came to you. I keep telling myself it was me. It was me not you. You didn’t love me anymore. You don’t love me anymore and you’re just too nice to say that. So you told me in the only way I could handle. Except you hadn’t used the words you should have. You got bored. We both know it’s true. You were bored of it, and I don’t blame you. I know we’ll never talk again, and part of me is so glad. Another part of me forces myself to read through all our messages though. I wish I could just tell you one last time. I love you.

You sighed saving it before closing out of it. Tears you hadn’t known were falling finally became known to you as they streamed down your cheeks. Your eyes puffy as you wet your lips, the salt of them coating your tongue. You were bitter and so were your tears. I briefly wondered what he was doing right now. Probably playing a video game. You knew his schedule all to well by now. Probably testing out a new game for his stream.

A new set of fresh tears fell as you remembered how you used to call him right before he went on. Being lulled to sleep by his occasionally curses and the clicking oh his controller or his keyboard.

You never expected things to end this way. You really thought he was the last one. Yes it had only been four months, but the way he made you feel. The way that it had felt. It had felt final, and you’d been friends before you even started dating.

You sniffle moving yourself to the kitchen to poor yourself a glass of water as you remembered how nervous you were when you first texted him. You had acumulated quite the crush on him back in high school. As Inarazaki’s manager you were required to go to the games, and even after your team lost you had stuck around. Watched him play and cheered him on. Two weeks later you had begun to text, as friends of course. It wasn’t until four months ago that you’d gotten together.

Your anniversary was only two days prior to your break up. You both had never been one to even care about that stuff. You had agreed early on in the relationship that we wouldn’t do anything due to the distance, and the business of our schedules. You were never one for remembering things like anniversaries anyways.

He really did feel like the one. Sometimes you just know. Sometimes you can just feel it. Like, you know that feeling you get when you know something is off or you know for sure something is about to happen even without being told it’s going to. That’s what it felt like to be with kozume kenma.

You thought you knew, you thought this time, this time its for real. You thought it was finally safe to say, that he was the one. You both had even admitted to looking for each others initials in those stupid soulmate tik tok videos.

You were finally in a mature relationship with someone you could talk about anything to. You had gotten so caught up in it, that you didn’t even see the end creeping up on you.

↝

You’d finally gained the courage to text him again. Unfortunately it was in a drunken daze. Your hands shaking as you fumbled with your phone typing things you’d come to regret in the morning. You’d sent him a series of texts telling him how much you missed him, how you didn’t understand how he was so okay. You had been a wreck that night. One of your friends puking in her toilet as you cried. You were happy of course that he was doing so well, but you’d been a wreck for so long and he hadn’t even changed. You told him you wished you could be okay.

When you’d awoken the next morning hair knotted in a complete mess and wiping drool from your chin your heart had sunk even lower. His response was cold. You knew that kenma could be cold. You knew that it was just who he was, but this particular text had felt so unfeeling and unfamiliar, it was as if he hadn’t even sent it himself. He had only ever talked like this to you once and that was when you first became friends all those years ago.

Kozume ❤️

Hey, it’s okay. And yeah you see what I choose to put up. I could be better. But I choose to stay optimistic and busy. Sorry that things are this way.

You had never seen so many periods in a text before. He only used grammar like that when he was peeved, and maybe you were wrong, maybe he’d done that on purpose, but it had hurt so bad. It had caused an ache so deep in your chest that you weren’t sure if you’d ever even dated him at all.

Yeah.

It was the only thing you could bring yourself to respond back with. How were you supposed to respond to that? You’d stared at it for so long and after you’d sent it you wished you had said more. Wished you would’ve said something more insightful than a simple, heartbroken, “yeah.”

Not too long later there was another ping and you held your breath. His name briefly appearing across your screen.

Yeah. I could be better. But I hope you do well soon. I’m sorry that I can’t really do much to help out

And of course you did the only thing you could do. Deflect. Pretend like you hadn’t said what you’d said not even fourteen hours ago.

No it’s fine. I’m fine. You don’t have to apologize. I’m sorry that you could be doing better.

He left you on seen. You knew you sounded like an asshole. At least to you, you felt like an asshole. Why couldn’t you have come up with something else. Why couldn’t you tell him the truth. Tell him how you felt. Tell him that you didn’t think you should be broken up anymore. That the month long cruel joke was over and you were ready to spend your nights falling asleep to him playing video games again. You didn’t though, and you never would. You’re not brave enough, too prideful to even try.

You swallowed down the bile rising in your throat as you realized even if you did beg him. Begged him to take you back. Tell him that you still love him. You were too late, and you just couldn’t be selfish when it comes to him. He is over you and it was so plainly obvious. You know that deep down. Know that he’s moved on, and it kills you inside. So you did the only thing you could do. Try and put it into words.

So as you lay in bed the warm body you let occupy your space sound asleep beside you, his toned blonde hair tousled slightly and you sighed. Finally away from the shenanigans of your friends you took a deep breath before you closed your eyes.

You opened up your notes app again and scrolled past the last entry. You swallowed again as you blinked the tears out of your eyes. Your thumbs beginning to move before you even gave them permission.

Wednesday June 30th 2022 1:39 Am

Here I am again. Stuck. Stuck in the same place I’ve been for so long. You know, I write so beautifully when I’m broken. I’m most of my best work is written when I’m being torn apart. But I just, I can’t seem to find the words. I can’t seem to put it into a document and turn out little story into a different story to cope. Can’t seem to write it out. Can’t seem to move on.

I hovered over the unfollow button on your page today, to keep myself from scrolling through your things again. To keep myself from getting hurt. So I don’t have to be reminded. I want to delete it. Delete where we officially met. On a chat through my screen. I wanna wipe the messages clean. And I’ve tried. Oh how I’ve tried. But I can’t.

I want to delete our conversations. The hours long talks we had, but then, what happens afterwards? What keeps the memories alive. I’d never been so in love with someone before. I’ve never actually…. Been in love before. I thought I’d been in love, but it didn’t feel like that, and losing them never hurt like this. Losing someone has never hurt this bad before.

I’ve never felt the emptiness you left so deep in my very being with anyone I’ve ever met before. I can’t seem to pull myself together. And it’s pathetic I know. It’s pathetic that I’m still here. In the same place I was a month ago. It’s about to be two months we’ve haven’t been together. I’m hurting. Hurting so bad. It’s painful to look at you.

I haven’t deleted the photos even though I probably should. They’re still tucked away in an album in my camera roll labeled “us <3” the one one I made specially just for you. The way I’d been so excited when I was finally ready to tell my friends. I even have this stupid notes folder from when we were dating where I wrote all the little things about you that I never wanted to forget. I find you so endearing. Everything you do. I just couldn’t help but right it down to keep it safe so it never leaves my mind. So that I never forget. But now, forgetting is all I want to do.

I never thought there’d be a time in my life where I was more emotionally stunted that I normally. So stunted I can’t even put this, our split up, into words. Make it something entertaining for somebody else to read. Write a book about it. My publicist keeps asking when the sequel for my book will be done. I don’t know if it’ll ever be finished. I can’t do the one thing I’ve always been good at. I’m crying as I write this.

And I wish it would just end here in this little notes app. Wish the love would die in here. I always think I’m over you and then I see you again, and nowadays your everywhere. A very big hit and I’m happy for you and your success, but seeing you makes my heart squeeze in my chest.

I think I’m over you until I play that stupid fucking game that causes me to scream at my phone, or my laptop in frustration, but I just can’t seem to delete it because I know it’s something that you love. That show we used to talk about. I know you know which one, I can’t seem to watch it without thinking of what was. You’ve ruined it forever cause now it only reminds me of you. I know you’ll never see this, but I like to imagine you can. That my time for closure has somehow come.

When you told me you were sorry that things were this way, it was a real slap in the face. It stopped my false hope. My wishing. It all came to a halt. I’m glad. Glad that you’re happier. That you’re better without me. But god, now I’m so fucked up and I can’t even talk to you.

You were the only person I had left. The only one who understood me. And now you’re gone. You took a part of me with you that night. A part that I’ll never get back. I should’ve known that you would leave. I’ve never been able to get someone to stay for longer than three to four months.

I thought I could let my guard down though. I thought we were in the clear. I’d thought finally. Finally someone is gonna stay. I thought you were my person. I still think that to this day. I thought we were gonna make it. And now I’m with this guy I don’t even like. He’s not you, he doesn’t act like you. He doesn’t like video games like you do.

He doesn’t talk to me like you do. Like you did. But you know how it ended I don’t need to put it here. Unfortunately I’ll always love you even if you don’t love me. This is so scattered, I’m sorry I couldn’t make you happy.

With that you closed the app and put down your phone. Plugging in it and as it dinged miya atsumu rolled over in his sleep. He reached for you his hands wrapping around your waist to tug you against his strong body.

His gravely voice whispering through sleep, “mmm finally decided to come to bed?” You hum moving an arm under on of his to wrap around his thin waist. “Mhm, thought you might need the company.” You began to draw little shapes and letters against his back as he chuckled, “oh yea? How thoughtful of you princess.”

Suddenly it was quiet and your closed eyes opened to his wide brown ones, his eyebrows furrowing .

“Did you just spell kozume on my back?”

#kenma x reader #kenma angst #kozume kenma #kenma #haikyuu kenma #miya atsumu #atsumu x reader #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu angst #niksfics #haikyuu fic #hq angst #hq fanfic #hq kenma #hq atsumu #atsumu x y/n #kenma x you #atsumu x you #kenma x yn #angst #this is trash #I’m so sorry that this is what I’ve written instead of mf #dilf atsumu #you’ll get your dilf atsumu smut soon though