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#i love them all though they’re all so special to me
driverlando · 1 day
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✧.* PR NIGHTMARE
synopsis - all the times Y/n has been horny on main for Lando
before you continue: pls be 18+ as this is very suggestive! follow and reblog if you enjoyed <3
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landonorris
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liked by yourusername, masonmount and 3,120,035 others
landonorris WWE FUCKIJG DID IT. P1 🏆
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georgerussell63 Congrats mate!!!
yourusername congratulations baby!! I’m waiting for you with open…arms at home 😉🫶
↳ user1 a simple “congratulations baby” would’ve done the job just fine 😭
↳ yourbestfriend GET 🫵 HELP 🫵
↳ user2 SJJSKAKA WE ALL KNOW WHAT YOU MEANT Y/N
↳ landonorris best gf EVER 😏
↳ user3 lando is no better, i love them 😭
user4 we got a lando win before gta6
user5 good lad 💪
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landonorris
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liked by georgerussell63, parishilton and 2,102,736 others
landonorris you ready?
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yungfilly my bro 👊
yourusername for you to top me? yes
↳ landonorris are you sure you’re ready though? 😏
↳ yourusername 😳
↳ user6 they’re a pr nightmare fr 😂
↳ charles_leclerc take it to the bedroom
yourusername daddy
↳ user7 lando likes being called daddy confirmed ✅
user8 We’ve been ready!!!
judebellingham the drip goes hard💧
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landonorris
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liked by oscarpiastri, yourusername and 627,304 others
landonorris GETTING HOT
view all 2,119 comments
user9 the little bandaid on his nose has a special place in my heart
yourusername excuse me sir, the UN is formally asking you to stop being so hot as climate change is already bad enough
↳ yourusername ignore my comments guys, I just realised he was talking about the weather
↳ yourbestfriend SIMP 🫵
↳ user10 GIRLLL-
user11 why you kindaa…
yourusername hit me with that racket
↳ oscarpiastri NURSE
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vigilskeep · 1 day
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i may be not all on the up and up with dwarf culture and all, but from my understanding, concubines/mistresses/etc are treated much differently with their standing in houses and politics and the like. since rica + her kid is still considered part of bhelen's house despite not being married (yet?).
so this leads me to, carrying this thought process over, a dwarf!warden is named a living paragon regardless of the choices made, and so their house/family is elevated to pretty much godhood. the obvious follow up is kieran would be part of this alongside morrigan i assume if the dwarf!warden had him with her, but could it go further?
if the dwarf!warden is a mistress to alistair, would he also not be considered part of their house and therefor dwarven nobility? and by extension, anora if she's on the throne too? and i guess further with eamon, teagan, etc...
could you not make a worldstate where the sitting divine of the orlais chantry is, by the laws of orzammar, could be considered the highest of nobility with them?
bhelen would love in-law visits
the buzzkill paragraph is that it’s a little more complicated for a dwarf warden, because the special warden privileges that let them hang out on the surface and still retain their caste don’t necessarily apply to any above-ground family members, even dwarven ones. if they’re not dwarven, i’m actually not clear if it’s possible at all for a non-dwarf to hold caste status, though it’s certainly a really interesting unexplored aspect of orzammar culture, which is so isolationist but so reliant on trade with surfacers! there might be further difficulties for specific instances; for example, producing children is explicitly the purpose of having concubines, and status as a concubine seems highly dependent on that—beraht implies that even if a child is born, the status only lasts as long as the child lives—so i’m unsure what formal provision if any would exist for same-sex couples
the fun paragraph is that all that being said, every hard rule can bend if someone is favoured enough, and the dwarf warden is a living paragon. whether or not surfacer lovers and perhaps their children are technically part of the new house, i would definitely expect them to be treated with suitable honours in orzammar. you’re right bhelen would be living the dream at those family dinners. what a world
if it did apply as you say, it’d be a hell of thing. given. you know. fereldan culture and chantry marriage law existing. the king of ferelden or the divine having a lover is not ideal, but it’s at least understandable. a non-human lover is pushing it. the king of ferelden or the divine being formally considered some kind of concubine by non-chantry law? come on now. it’s very fun it’s also hugely risky of pushing some people too far (for one, i would NOT push anora like this, frankly)
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shadowqueenjude · 1 day
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He was an asshole for this, but Eris had long since stopped caring. He knew that he had to do some bad things now so that he could overthrow Beron and prevent far worse things from happening later. As for bad things he’d done? This didn’t even make the list.
It wasn’t hard to drug the shadowsinger and drag him away. Eris had already caught him once before, and he hadn’t changed his tactics since. Fool.
When the Inner Circle’s janitor woke up, he began to struggle. Predictable, but Azriel could do nothing against his restraints.
“You,” Azriel growled, trying to throw himself at Eris, chair and all.
“Me,” Eris replied calmly. He took a sip of his wine.
“What, you planning to kill me?” he snarled, rattling the chair with his struggles. Eris rolled his eyes.
“That would be counterproductive, wouldn’t it? Would rather ruin my alliance with your court.” He placed his glass down and steepled his fingers in front of him. “No on the contrary, I’ve taken a special interest in you, Shadowsinger.”
Azriel’s face was filled with a ferocity that promised a slow death to Eris. Eris merely tsked at the expression.
“Anger does not suit you, Azriel,” Eris purred. “You lose all your pretty boy features.”
“SHUT UP!” Azriel roared, shaking the chair again. “I fucking hate you.”
Eris sighed. “Funny that you turn your hatred towards me when it is your companions you ought to despise.”
Azriel’s eyes narrowed on him. “What the fuck do you mean?”
Eris shrugged. “It’s not my fault I was engaged to marry Mor. I was a mere child then, powerless to do anything to stop it. I didn’t want it any more than Mor did, only I didn’t dare disobey my father while Mor disobeyed hers. She got punished for it. Got nails all over her body. But had I brought her over that Autumn court border to heal her…she would’ve suffered a fate worse than death. She would’ve become Beron’s servant. Like me. Forever.”
Azriel said nothing. He knew Eris was right, even though Eris was sure he was loathe to admit it. Eris continued, “But your best friend, that brutish general, slept with Mor while knowing what the costs may be, while knowing that you were in love with her.” He laughed lowly. “Some friend, huh?”
Azriel still said nothing, but Eris could sense the target of his anger shift. He was being convincing then.
“How much do they truly respect you? Forcing you to do their dirty work. Making you torture people because they’re too squeamish to do it themselves, even though Rhysand possesses daemati powers and needn’t resort to torture. Isn’t it triggering, considering the torture you went through in your youth?
At last, Azriel said something. “Yes,” he whispered.
“You are the outsider there,” Eris continued. “Both of them mated to Archerons, yet the third Archeron sister belongs to my brother. Don’t you feel rather left out? Like you’re not truly a part of their group? Who there really understands the anger you keep rooted deep inside?”
Pain and sorrow flickered across Azriel’s face, and Eris stood up, stalking over to him and leaning before him. “But I understand,” Eris murmured. “I understand, because it’s the same anger I shove deep down inside because I am under Beron’s thumb. We are the same, you and I. But if you come with me, if you help me overthrow Beron, you won’t be so powerless anymore. You won’t need to hide the anger inside. We’ll finally be free.”
Azriel swallowed. “What would you have me do?” he asked. Eris smirked, resting his hand on his face, rubbing his thumb against his lips. Azriel’s cheeks turned red at his touch. “Spy on your friends for me. I want to know how much they’ve been keeping from me. And then in a month…you quit and join me.”
Azriel raised a brow in challenge as he stared Eris down. “I still fucking hate you,” Azriel muttered.
Eris chuckled. “You’re a fool if you think I care, shadowsinger.”
But Eris knew Azriel was lying. Azriel didn’t hate Eris. Not really. Not like he hated himself.
Just like Eris.
For day 4 of @azrisweek free day
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princessmisery666 · 7 hours
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Best Con Ever
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Summary: It’s all fun and games until the truth is revealed.
Warnings/Genres/Troupes: fluff, drinking, silly stuff, Jared being an annoyingly good friend (seriously, he wouldn't shut up!). 
W/C: 2,381.
Characters: Jensen Ackles, Jared Padalecki, Alexander Calvert, Richard Richard Speight Jr.
Pairing: Jensen Ackles x fem!Reader (you - no descriptions of body type or ethnicity).
Challenge/Bingo: @jacklesversebingo Prompt/Square Filled: Making fun of one another 
Notes: Jensen is a single pringle for this one! 
Betas: @deanwinchesterswitch // all mistakes are mine.
Graphics: dividers - @talesmaniac89 / picture in title card - @lemondropsonice - they were kind enough to grant permission to use when I asked.
Master Lists: Dean Winchester / Main
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The special fan event is going so well. The intro includes party games, such as Pin the Wings on the Angel and Bowling with the Devil. The pins have pictures of demons from each season taped to them. There’s also a drinking game with “apple juice” because Jensen and Jared keep insisting “Jack” - Alex - isn’t old enough to drink yet. You’re a little buzzed, but it helps ease your nerves. 
“Ah, you said Supernatural!” Alex exclaims, pointing at Jared, and the audience collectively yells, “DRINK!”
Shots of apple juice that smell suspiciously like whiskey this time get passed around until the four of you have one, and then, as one, you shoot them back.
“Woo,” Jensen yells, sucking his teeth as he turns his back to the audience and looks at you. “Don’t let me fall over.”
“Only if you do the same for me,” you laugh. 
“I got you.” He turns to the audience again but puts his arm around your waist and pulls you into his side. 
Of course, the audience immediately awws and gasps. “Oh shhh, you lot,” Jensen playfully scolds, “I’m just holding her up.”
“Wouldn’t want her falling now, would we?” Jared says. “Unless it's for you. Ba-dum-tss.”
He gets nothing from the band. The drummer shakes his head.
“Oh, come on!” He complains. “That was good!”
This is your first event since joining the show at the end of season eleven, but it is not the first time a potential off-screen romance has been mentioned. You have seen videos of panels where fans have asked the question, and you and Jensen have each been approached by fans on the street. With Jensen’s arm wrapped firmly around you, you are sure you can get through it without making a fool of yourself.
Jensen has been a wonderful source of support from the beginning. You had been nervous about how the fans would react because you replaced the wonderful Megalyn Echikunwoke as Cassie Robinson, Dean’s love interest from way back in season one. The inconsistencies in appearance had been loosely explained, and it was somewhat plausible in the world of Supernatural, but that didn’t bother you so much. Being Dean’s love interest was what worried you the most. The fans are so protective, and rightfully so.
“They’re going to love you,” Jensen had said when you aired your concerns. “Just like I…we do.”
He was right. The reception to the reintroduction of Cassie couldn’t have gone better. The fans loved it and accepted you and Cassie Robinson with open arms. You’d read some comments, heard second-hand from producers, and when the fans started an online petition - for fun - to get you and Jensen to date in real life after seeing behind-the-scenes footage, Jared dubbed himself the President of the “Jensen and Y/N should be a couple IRL” club.
You and Jensen played along with it. It helped ratings, and it wasn’t a chore to have Mr Ackles’ undivided attention at parties and dinners to play up to the rumors. But that's all it is: rumors. The two of you are close, on and off set, but whereas Cassie and Dean are super hot, you and Jensen are lukewarm. Hugging Jensen - though it happens often - unfortunately doesn’t lead to sex like it would with Cassie and Dean.
Richard announces it's time for the fan questions and asks those selected to form an orderly queue behind the microphone. Though the questions have been pre-approved, you get a wave of anxiety as you don’t know what they will be, and you hope this portion of the event goes as well as the rest of the day. A fan asks how your first meeting with the cast went, and you look sheepishly at Jensen. 
He shakes his head and rolls his eyes but sighs in defeat. “Fine, you can tell it.”
“Better yet, reenact it!” Jared suggests. 
Your eyes light up with something akin to glee, and Jensen raises his brow and doesn’t need to ask the question in his eyes, ‘Really?’. You pout, bottom lip sticking out as far as it will go. “Please,” you draw out.
Reluctantly, making a show of it, and very slowly, Jensen gets to his feet, leaning closer to pretend to nip at your protruding lip. 
Jared shakes his arms out as he stands up, “I’ll play Y/N.” 
“The hell you will,” Jensen says, playfully pushing him out of the way. “Y/N will play herself.”
Jared comically falls over his chair to the ground as if Jensen’s push was twice the pressure it had actually been. 
You stand up in front of Jensen and wait for the laughing audience to quiet down. Jared stands straight and holds his microphone close to his mouth. “It was a bright winter morning, not a cloud in the sky,” he narrates in a poor impression of David Attenborough’s voice. “The beautiful and elusive beast, Jensen Ackles, notices a radiant creature across the lot. Slowly, he approaches…”
Jensen shakes his head at the crowd and rolls his whole head along with his eyes but obliges the narrator. He walks the few steps and shakes your hand with way too much enthusiasm. “Hi, I’m Batman. Dean. Ackles. I mean …” he groans, trying to dismiss his embarrassment, then blushes and says, “Hi.”
You laugh again, as does everyone else. Jensen grimaces just as he did on the day. “I’m going to walk into the sun now, sorry.” he strides around you to the end of the stage, and Jared steps up to take his place. 
Jared shakes your hand like a normal person. “Translation, that’s Jensen, for I think I just fell in love with you.” 
Jensen, with his back to the two of you, throws a thumbs-up over his head. “It went exactly like that!” Jensen confirms, nodding and shrugging as he makes his way back to his seat. “And now that we’ve all relived my embarrassment, let's move on.”
The microphone gets passed to the next person, and they ask, “Jared and Jensen are known for their pranks. Have they played any on you, Y/N?” 
“Oh yes!” you answer as Jensen takes his seat beside you and squeezes your knee. “I’m hanging like twenty feet in the air,” you begin.
“That’s like three Jared’s,” Richard adds, pointing to Jared on his left.
“Exactly,” you laugh, spreading your arms and legs out in a star to show the position you were in. “I’m full on Mission Impossible Tom Cruise-ing it, three Jared’s high off the ground, and the camera breaks.” 
The audience reacts with grimaces and chuckles. 
“They tell us it will be like ten minutes, and being the awesome trooper she is,” Jensen continues, flashing you a sweet smile. “She agrees to stay up there while they fix it.”
“Of course, it takes longer than ten minutes, so Jensen and I get bored!” Jared laughs, evilly rubbing his hands together.
“First of all, they decide to rub salt in the wound,” you shake your head, laughing at the memory. “They start doing lunges and star jumps, bragging about how comfortable and free they are.”
Jared and Jensen reenact their exercises, doing over-exaggerated lunges and squats, to laughter and catcalls.
“Stop it,” you say, around almost uncontrollable laughter. “You’ll split your pants.”
“Hey, watch it,” Jensen warns, pointing a finger, “my ass is not that big!” 
“Your ass is just fine,” you smirk, the audience agreeing with whoops and hollers.
“You're not so bad yourself,” Jensen counters, winking.
“Hey, hey,” Richard chides, shouting over the raucous audience. “This is a family show.”
“ANYWAY,” Jared says loudly. “Then we used her as target practice, trying to throw Skittles in her mouth.” 
“Let me tell you, at speed, those things are like bullets.” You explain, “I swear they chipped a tooth!”
“I’ll pay for any dental work,” Jensen confirms with a slight nod. “And to answer the question, Jared and I messed with the camera. We knew she’d get stuck up there.”
You shove his shoulder, and he teeters to one side before purposely overcorrecting himself so he’s lying across your lap. 
“We still need to get him back for that one,” Alex reminds you.
Jensen scoffs, rising to sit up again. “You tried and failed. Give it up.”
You and Alex simultaneously declare, “Never!” 
“Alex and I decided to team up and get them back,” you explain to the audience.
“They tried to get me,” Jensen says, “but Jared caught them, and he told me so it didn’t work. But they managed to get Jared,” Jensen begins laughing, unable to continue the story.
“All Y/N’s idea,” Alex insists, pretending to edge away from Jared.
Jared shakes his head, tongue sitting in the pocket of his cheek while he tries to look disgruntled but can’t hide the smile he tries to contain.
“It was genius,” Jensen manages around huffs of laughter. 
“We got the wardrobe department to take in his shirts and shorten his pants a little each day for a month,” Alex says. “But it only took two weeks before he started complaining about gaining weight and growing taller.”
Jensen’s laughter stops, his demeanor turning completely serious. “I cannot tell you how annoying he was about it!”
“I wasn’t that bad,” Jared protests. 
“Dude, you were bad!” Jensen counters, “You were googling if you could have a growth spurt after thirty. It’s all you talked about for two weeks. It was so annoying!” 
“That’s me, Jared Annoying Padalecki,” he says. Then has a lightbulb moment, or perhaps a whiskey-inspired one, and jumps off the stage. Everyone laughs as they watch him cheekily shove to the front of the question queue, dropping to his knees. 
“Hi, I’m Gen from Texas, and this is for Jensen,” he says in a higher pitched voice than anyone would expect could come out of the giant of a man. “I would like to know what your favorite scene to film was from the last season. And why is it the sex scene with Y/N from episode three?”
Jensen closes his eyes, face scrunched and lips pursed in mock annoyance as he flips Jared off.
“What a great question, Gen,” you chuckle, turning to stare at Jensen. “It was definitely one of my favorite scenes to film.”
“It was a fun day,” Jensen agrees. “Usually, sex scenes are super awkward and embarrassing, but it wasn’t. I mean, who wouldn’t want to spend a day in the back of Baby with all this,” he gestures toward Y/N, “on top of you.”
Jared gets to his feet, using a fan's shoulder to hoist himself up, and then bends to reach the microphone. “Follow-up question,” Jared begins, “this time for Y/N. Are you free for dinner tonight? Asking for a friend.” 
“Oh, for a friend,” you say, leaning to look around Jensen and at Alex. “Well, in that case, I’m free anytime, Mr Calvert.” you wink. 
Jensen leans forward, pointing a warning finger at him, “No!” 
“Urgh, Alex,” Jared groans, using a long leg to step back onto the stage, “you’re such a troublemaker!”
The next fan is given the microphone. “So it’s been twelve seasons; what mementos have you taken from the set?”
“Funny you should mention that,” Jared answers immediately, then sings, “Jensen’s in trouble. He stole the infamous demon Dean's red shirt.” 
Jensen throws his hands up, shaking his head. “I did not! I don't know who did, but it wasn't me.” 
Jared rolls his eyes. “So some ghost took it out of your trailer?” 
“Maybe,” Jensen shrugs. “This is Supernatural.” 
The drummer immediately punctuates his response, the hiss of the snare still echoing as Jared stands up in protest. But the audience is too quick, and they yell, “DRINK!” 
“You lot are a bad influence,” Jensen tells them as you all make your way to the drinks table at the back of the stage.
You hold your microphone down while Richard pours the shots. Leaning closer to Jensen, you ask, “Are you really in trouble because of it?”
Jensen scoffs, “No, of course not. But they need it for a photo shoot, and they want to auction it off for charity. They’ve been on my ass for weeks.”
“Oh.” 
“Oh?” Jensen asks, very much channeling Dean in his expression. “Do you know something about it?” 
You wince, trying to feign innocence, but it's no good. You know you’ve been caught out, and you’ll have to give it back. “I took it,” you confess.
“What? Why?” 
You can’t think of a lie quick enough. So with a nonchalant shrug, that's all for show because you don’t feel it at all, you admit, “I like it. It's a nice shirt to sleep in, and it smells like you.”
“If you want something that smells like me, you can have me!” Jensen blurts out loud enough that the mics lowered at your sides pick it up.
The fans erupt, screaming and shouting. They get to their feet and clap. Alex and Jared talk over each other, but it all becomes white noise as you stare at Jensen, who stares back. 
“Screw it,” he says, and you're the only one who hears it. But everyone sees him take a small step into your space and place a gentle kiss on your lips. He pulls back enough to look at you for any reaction, and when you lightly smile, he slips a hand down your cheek and draws you in closer for a deeper kiss this time. 
The crowd goes wild. Your ears will be ringing for days.
Jensen keeps the kiss PG13, but you go as far as wrapping a hand around the back of his neck. It ends too soon, but you remind yourself that you are being watched. He leans back, smiling happily. “Sorry if that was out of line.”
“The only thing that was out of line was how long it took you to do that.” 
He shrugs one shoulder, tongue sitting behind his teeth. “Sorry.”
Jared tries to get control of the audience, but it doesn’t work. Jensen walks to the edge of the stage and holds up a hand, silencing them with the simple gesture. 
Once it's quiet enough, he smiles, boyish and wide. “Best. Con. Ever.”
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Master Lists: Dean Winchester / Main
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strayklds · 1 year
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reblog this post and tell me who your first stray kids bias was and now who you currently bias <3
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mcnuggyy · 2 years
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cw death// but not in a sad way just like a oh yeah that happened this is life kinda way anyways
my grandma facetimed me today and I swear I almost fucking cried she looked so happy hanging out with my other sisters and she doesn’t need her little breathing machine anymore so she can go out w my mom and just be her self again, she was literally cruising in the car all silly Jaja… sometimes I get so so sad cause I don’t know how she is or how she’s feeling since my grandpa passed cause it really broke her and they were both really really sick together before he passed too so it’s nice to see her doing better… also her hair is sooo long and she braids it too so she looks very cute ohh I love my abuelita so much I miss her every day my parents better bring her back to our house this time cause I know she would be so happy here with us again but I also know she’s still sore and wants to stay close to my grandpas body too… idk man i guess my biggest fear was her passing away as soon as my grandpa went cause they were so close knit, but im glad she’s okay, waaaa my little grandmaaaa she’s so cuteeee I love her so much waaaa here’s an old picture of her with Felipe because its sooo funny jajaja
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reyesstrand · 2 years
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According to Ronen from earlier this week, we’re gonna “SHIT” so I am FULLY ONBOARD with an elopement rn. Everything leading up to the wedding and then- elope.
sorry for the delayed response on this anon!! but i’m definitely cool with any scenario tbh—just the fact they’re getting married still has me !!! so whether they plan a big ceremony and go through with it; plan a big ceremony and something happens and they come up with a small-but- sentimental ceremony with their closest people around; decide on the spot to get married/plan to elope and have a party afterward, i’m happy with whatever gives us the best story and gives them the best story. being here through every between-season hiatus has proven that ronen does hype up the emotional stuff, but we all know they’re going to be weeping through their vows whether they’re alone at a courthouse or at a fancy venue, so i guess at this point we’ll have to see?? but i’m game for whatever happens!!
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calico-kiwi · 1 year
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languages are so beautiful. i want to learn ALL of them. i swear with every new media i get into that portrays a different language i gain a new passion
when I was really into mlb i think it sparked my aspiration to learn french (which i am currently taking in school)
getting into nijisanji en has started this intense love for the japanese language and this insatiable drive i have to learn it
watching qsmp is making me remember why i love spanish and it’s made me appreciate my very very rudimentary understanding of it from when i took a year of spanish in school
starting to watch kdramas and looking at the written language and how it’s all put together has secured korean as the next language I plan to learn
hearing relatives speak tagalog my whole life has always made me wish i could understand it at the very least, and i WILL have a solid grasp on the language before i die, if i don’t that will be one of the reasons i come back as a ghost. and hearing millie speak in tagalog or tweet in tagalog makes me wish even more i was fluent in it
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floralcyanide · 2 years
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it’s the way I have 7 WIPs rn. seven. why do I do this to myself 💀 feel free to ask about what they’re about if anyone is curious! the obvious ones are The Extra, the August series, and part two to Whiskey Daydream but I have many others up my sleeve 👀
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confused-wanderer · 1 year
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It would be hilarious if villains loved Nightwing and were terrified of Officer Dick Grayson.
Dick Grayson- who is used to open spaces and adrenaline- being stuck in a boring bleak office, surviving on shots of coffee and red bull with caffeine that would make Tim concerned.
The thugs soon realised that unlike most of the other cops - Dick was from Gotham.
No one fucks with Gothamites.
Villain *shooting at Dick with machine guns*
Dick *appearing from the shadows behind him*: Boo.
Villain: THIS IS A FIVE STOREY BUILDING HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET HERE
Or
Thief *throwing a counting down bomb at Dick*
Dick: *catching and tossing the bomb at a safe distance before turning round and shooting it so it explodes mid air while running after thief*
Thief: .. what the actual fuck
Dick: Gee look at all that time you had! Shame you threw it away :D
Thief:
Dick: I’m from Gotham
Thief *realising they fucked up* : Please don’t steal my bones
OR
Shooter: *sets elaborate booby traps throughout the houses in an active hostage situation*
Dick *using his training as robin and inhuman flexibility to surpass them with ease*: Ah been a while since I got to have a nice stretch thank you.
Shooter:
Dick:
Shooter:
Dick: .. Hi :)
Shooter: Are you Satan?
AND
In interrogation room
Murderer: I think I’ll take your eyes and add them to my collection
Dick *running on spite and caffeine that could give Superman a sugar rush* : Funny.. I was going to say the same thing to you
Murderer: .. what
Dick: I wouldn’t take your eyes though.. they look like the inspiration behind the whole Medusa’s “look at it and you turn to stone” thing-
Murderer: Hey! Take that back before I gut you
Dick *smile stretching wider without blinking* : oh? Or what? I know everything about you. Who says I can’t kill you and walk out with everyone being none the wiser? I know how to kill someone too..you aren’t special.
Murderer:
Murderer: I’m scared for my safety.
Because the thing is, Nightwing is who Dick really is. It’s who he can be free as, be himself as without red tapes and regulations. Where he can give as good as he gets, and he’s kind and empathetic. He gets to help the downtrodden and goes easy on most of them if they give up right away, not to mention the fact that he never causes permanent damage.
But officer Dick Grayson is a different story. He runs on sleepless nights and no self preservation. Seeing an officer with an uncanny skill set they’re scarily good at, not to mention the cheery attitude he always has scares the shit out of criminals. Cuz no way in hell is a smiling Gothamite not a deranged one. He chases crimes like a bloodhound, and isn’t afraid to make good on threats he makes to ensure they never hurt anyone again.
Bonus if the batfam doesn’t know about this.
Red hood: Shit I can’t believe we ended up in Bludhaven
Red Robin *tying up the corrupt politican* : Since this is a sensitive case, we need someone we can trust to make sure it is seen through.
Red hood: .. So we paying a visit to Officer Grayson?
Politician *screeching* : NO NO NO NO! PLEASE NOT HIM!! JUST KILL ME INSTEAD AND TAKE ALL MY MONEY I CANT DEAL WITH HIM!
Red hood: .. is he fucking serious?
Henchmen: Sir he is. And we agree. Please take our bones and kill us but don’t take us to Officer Grayson.
Red Robin: Wait what did he do?
Henchman 1: He asked boss if the hat was sentient.. and said that if it was would it make that hat the top and boss the bottom.
Henchman 2: Last time we met I tried to shoot him but suddenly my gun was blank and he raised his hand and let the ammo drop
Red Hood: Well even I could do that-
Henchman 2: They were my bullets. I had selected the colour personally.
Red robin *growing concerned*
Henchman 3: He sang a lullaby to a child when we were holding the station hostage, and replaced the people with my family members. He even sang their social security numbers!
Henchman 4: He’s the most dangerous of them all. I ain’t shitting ya when I say he’s as scary as the bat from Gotham.
*all nodding in agreement*
Red hood:
Red Robin:
Red hood: Nah that doesn’t sound like Dick
Red Robin: Agreed. Let’s go there Hood.
*villains’ sobbing intensifies*
22K notes · View notes
tteokdoroki · 7 months
Text
☆༉ — RYOMEN SUKUNA. a better man.
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about. you’re a girl that’s way out of his league and he’s the bad boy you couldn’t help but fall for. what happens when ryomen sukuna fails to meet you in the middle?
warnings. minors, blank and ageless blogs do not interact! sfw, fluff, suggestive towards the end, no curses!au, modern!au, it’s implied that sukuna is in a gang, mentions of fights, reader is a rich girl, they’re kinda in love :( bad boy!sukuna, fem!reader.
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“you’re mad at me. aren’cha?”
sukuna mutters with an air of faux nonchalance as he lazily jogs up the final marble steps that lead up to the restaurant he was supposed to meet you at nearly two hours ago. the evening traffic zips by, red and white headlights parting through the rain to illuminate your boyfriend’s features. heavy water droplets take residence on the slope of his nose and Cupid’s bow, some even daring to cling on to the tips of dusty rose-coloured hair.
if you weren’t so angry right now, you might take a moment to appreciate how good sukuna looks in the moment — especially with the way the rain makes the designer tux you’d gotten for him cling to his skin. exposing every ridge and dip and curve in his muscle while his inky black tattoos become all the more visible.
“of course i’m mad.” you step aside to let sukuna under the shelter of the entrance, avoiding him as he swoops down for his usual hug and kiss. “tonight is important. it was important.”
“babe c’mon on, i was—“
“you were late. they’re serving dessert in there, ryomen.” your tone is coloured with shades of annoyance and a hint of warning. like a mother about to lecture her child. you’re pissed. it’s written all over your face too — in the way that your brows crease and you pout so adorably. he’ll try to play it off, like he doesn’t care, but it almost makes sukuna sick to his stomach to know that you’re angry with him.
the rain picks up outside of the restaurant and you continue. “all you had to do was show up on time. come to this stupid fancy restaurant and be there to meet my parents. but of course, you got yourself caught up in—“ you grab his dress shirt in frustration, noticing the blood on the collar that doesn’t belong to him. his split knuckles and the bruise on his lips. “— in whatever this is.” you roll your eyes, blood boiling.
“it’s nothin’ for you to worry your pretty little head about,” sukuna scoffs, lips spreading wide in his signature smirk. the excuse is lame, but he doesn’t want you to worry for him any longer. “since when did you care about what your parents think, anyways?” but you see it in his eyes, that same old worry. that he’s not good enough for you, that a scumbag like him doesn’t deserve a pretty girl like you. he’s always told you to find someone better, someone able to feed into the glitz and glamour that you were brought up in.
but you’ve always told ryomen sukuna that you have everything you need right there with him.
cupping his face, the heat of anger dispels from your body and you exhale deeply though your nose. “i don’t care about what my parents think. if i did, i wouldn’t be dating you.” you cast a thumb over the thick lines of ink decorating his face, accenting sukuna’s high cheekbones and chiselled features while the rest of your fingers sink into his smooth, dark undercut. “but that doesn’t mean i don’t want you to meet them. they’re just as special to me as you are. i want the most important people in my life to know each other.”
your boyfriend’s hands settle on your wrists as he grunts noncommittally, indicating that he’s aware of his wrong doings. if there’s one thing that sukuna hates, it’s upsetting you. he doesn’t care what the world thinks of him, it’s never mattered before. yet, even the slightest look of disappointment from you has the man in shambles. “‘m sorry,” he drawls, his grip on you shifting down to cup your waist — pulling you flush against him. “what can a guy like me do to make it up to you?”
“you can go on in there and charm the hell out of my rich, uptight parents so that we can hurry up and go home,” your voice lowers an octave as you stand on your tip toes for the extra height so that you can nip at the shell of sukuna’s ear. “where you can rip this dress off’a me.”
“such a dirty mouth for such’a prim ‘n proper girl, hm? i should wash it out with soap.” he purrs right back, leaning down to kiss at your neck until you’ve had enough of his frayed pink hair tickling your skin. he damn near melts when your fingers inch up to tug at his roots — earning a deep and thrilling growl from the man. “that was a dirty move. who taught you that?”
“my good for nothing boyfriend, he’s kind of a bad influence.” you tease back, despite having to physically push sukuna away in order to avoid setting off his inner beast before dinner with your parents is done — and instead, take to grabbing his larger hand in yours so you can lead him from the front of house to your family’s reserved table.
and like always, sukuna trails after you like a lost puppy enamoured with the person that found them, have them love and warmth. because, while you didn’t change him, you made him want to be better — to give up the knives in his back and the bullets looking over his head for something better. something softer.
something like you.
ryomen sukuna wanted to become the someone he thought you deserved.
that’s why he put on this stupid suit and tie, why he let you take his hand, why he follows you to the the table that’s sure to seal his fate with you.
behind all that rough exterior, is a man who loves you.
and in front of sukuna, is a girl who loves him and all of his flaws right back.
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꒰ end. — all rights reserved © tteokdoroki 2023. do not copy, repost, translate & recommend elsewhere.
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teardropsonmyviolin · 2 months
Text
lost in japan | mv1
pairing : gymnast!fem!reader x max verstappen
genre : social media au
summary : in which y/n is a well known gymnast who has a very obvious obsession with f1 (with redbull, specially max) there’s a new romance brewing when she finally meets max!
a/n : thank you to anon for requesting this!! 🩷 requests are always open!! i need some inspo recently 😭 i’m horrible at gymnastics terminology even though i have gymnast friends… plz forgive for how badly i did
yourusername
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liked by yourbff , lilymhe , and 654,210 others
yourusername 🍜🤸‍♀️🏎️
view all comments…
yourbff someone needs to conduct a study on you and your obsession with f1 😕
yourusername it’s a healthy addiction.
lilymhe talented talented girl!!! ❤️ so lovely seeing you traveling again to see the races!!
yourusername i think i’m in love with you? let’s hang out sometime!!!
username y/n’s love for f1 is so me
username wait lily and y/n are friends? how do they know each other?
username i’m pretty sure they met in the paddock a few years back? they hit off and they’re close friends now! :)
username i saw you at the first rounds, u and ur team did so good!!!
yourusername thank you so much, I'm glad you thought so!! 🤍
username how do u have money for this
username LIFESTYLE GOALS DEF
username how to be y/n l/n
maxverstappen1
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liked by yourusername , and others
maxverstappen1 lovely race! had a great time winning here in front of some amazing fans, and a great time meeting some people! 🇯🇵
view all comments…
username y/n was talking about manifesting a max win in her live
username the caption is so obviously toward y/n 😭 have y’all seen her post?
username who’s y/n? everyone in the comments is talking about her
username shes a college level gymnast! she’s a very enthusiastic f1 fan lol and has been wanting to meet the drivers for a while!!
username another max win like usual 😢
username i know for a fact that y/n was representing all of us max girlies fan girling
yourusername
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liked by maxverstappen1 , yourbff , and 912,883 others
yourusername i got lost in japan but at least i met max verstappen!!!!! *real!!!* *not clickbait!!!!* in all seriousness, i had a great time meeting you, and you’re such a lovely person to be around! 🤍
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yourbff 👀
yourusername shut up 😭😭
username y/n’s bff knows something we don’t…
maxverstappen1 i had a great time meeting you! you’re so incredibly talented! 🙌
yourusername wow thank you so much??? you have so much talent, it’s crazy!
username the hand placement for both of them??? i see y’all…
username THE SMILES AWEEWWE 🥹🥹🥹🥹
time skip
yourusername
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liked by maxverstappen1 , yourbff , and 833,100 others
yourusername monthly recap ⏰
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maxverstappen1 good luck for the upcoming nationals!
yourusername thank you so much, max :)🤍🤍
yourbff the man in the first pic?? y/n.
yourusername my bf is so amazing i know ☺️🤍🤍
↬ yourbff BF?????? GIRL TEXT ME RN.
username WAIT Y/N HAS A BF?
username boyfriend is max. i’m calling it. it’s fucking verstappen.
username it’s so fucking obvious it’s him too 😭😭😭
username verstappen fr winning at everything 😢
username I HAVE SO MUCH FAITH FOR YOU AND UR TEAM IN NATIONALS 🙏🙏
yourusername THANK YOUUUUUU!!!! 🤍🤍
time skip
yourusername
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liked by maxverstappen1 , yourbff , and 988,233 others
yourusername celebrating a huge huge nationals win with the bested team in the whole wide universe and my loving boyfriend! couldn’t ask for a better weekend! 🥹🥹🤍💐
tagged : yourcollege , teammates , maxverstappen1
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username CALLED IT.
username congrats on winning nationals!!!! very much deserved!
username max and y/n always winning wbk
yourbff ILYSM AND IM SO SO PROUD OF HOW FAR YOU’VE COME!
yourusername my biggest supporter ilysm 🥹
yourbff max getting you flowers as he should!!!
yourusername plz 😭
maxverstappen1 so incredibly proud of the effort you put in. ❤️ i love you.
yourusername u don’t know how much this means coming from you 🥹💐🩷
maxverstappen1 prettiest girl i’ve ever seen.
yourusername STOP i love you
1K notes · View notes
distantdarlings · 7 months
Text
HOUSE PRIDE // t. nott
RATING: R / 3.8K WORDS
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Theodore Nott x Fem Reader Insert
+ SUMMARY - *Requested - based on this* Theo is pissed that you seem to be interested in other guys. The two of you are not officially dating so you find it ridiculous that you can't talk to whomever you want. You have feelings for Theo, though, and think it might be interesting to put his jealousy to the test.
+ WARNINGS - SMUT! Heavy sexual material, degradation, name-calling, jealousy, fem reader, language, dom!Theo--honestly, this is just depraved
+ MUSIC (listened to while writing) -
Pyramids - Frank Ocean
---
You pressed your face to your hands, breathing deeply. You couldn’t believe what you were fucking hearing. The pounding in your head refused to subside as he kept demanding an answer.
“Hello? Do you wanna explain why you were practically throwing yourself on Riddle today at lunch?” the brunette demanded, his eyes widened and wild. Your hands dropped and you made eye contact with the boy. You were in disbelief.
“Throwing myself at him? You dick, I tripped and fell on him! That’s just number one! Number two: you are not my fucking boyfriend,” you shouted, “I can throw myself on whoever I want, whenever I want!”
Theo locked his jaw and pursed his lips slightly. A tell of his that meant he was very angry. He didn’t usually speak much after he pushed past this point. More like, just crossed his arms and stared at you, eye bordering on twitching. You scoffed and held your hands out, waiting for a response from him. He said nothing.
“I don’t need you to tell me who to give attention to, Theo. You are not my boyfriend, I am not your girlfriend. I tripped and fell against Mattheo this morning and we both laughed it off, so why can’t you?”
“You just tripped and fell on him and his hands landed on your ass? Oh, whoops, just an accident!” he mocked you. 
“I don’t know if his hands were on my ass or not, he may have been trying to stabilize me as quickly as he could—but besides the point, who gives a fuck if he was touching my ass? It’s not like you’ve been too eager to do anything anytime soon!” you shout, blood rushing through your ears and cheeks. Shit. You did not mean to say that. His head shot back and his eyes widened slightly. You kept the anger imprinted on your face to attempt to hide the embarrassment you were feeling so strongly. Hopefully, he would think this was a super-confident confession written in a rage. Still, he said nothing.
“Oh, forget it! To hell with you, Theo!” you screamed, grabbing your robes and running out of his dorm room. He said nothing and made no move to stop you. Your feet carried you down the hallway and into your own room. 
None of your roommates were here. You figured they were all in different dorms, preparing for the common room party in a few hours. Once every couple of months, some of the Slytherins—usually seniors—will get together and prepare a “house” party. They’re always fun, high-energy, and filled to the brim with Slytherin pride. Merlin, you loved them. 
You had originally declined to go tonight. You had some leftover work that was due on Monday and you almost thought that Theo would invite you to Hogsmeade or something, but you should have known better than that. It seems all he’s concerned about is his reputation. 
You tugged through the buttons on your uniform top and ripped it off your shoulders. You pulled your skirt and socks off, holding the end of your bed for balance. There were a couple of nice outfits shoved in the trunk beneath the bedframe—you figured something in there would do. You reached up and let your hair down from its elastic, allowing it to fall to its natural length. The ends of the waved strands tickled your skin as you yanked the trunk into the open. Inside were a couple of different combinations, all saved up for special occasions. And if anyone asked you, making Theo Nott as jealous as you possibly could was a very special occasion. 
Your eyes fell on a specific top. A long sleeve, skin-tight sweetheart neckline that plunged a little deeper than it should, and a flared, darkened skirt. You reckoned it was simple and sexy. It practically bled Theo’s name all over your body, claiming you as his, though you pretended like you hated that. He never needed to know it, but you secretly loved how jealous he became when you had the smallest interactions with other people. You blow a curled hair out of your face. The fucker could have been running down the halls with a red tapestry taped to his back and you still wouldn’t call him a red flag. He was just what you wanted; what you’d wanted for years. Whether or not he’d ever actually act on your feelings for each other, you belonged to him and he belonged to you. 
You slipped the outfit on, mussed up your hair a bit, and applied a light layer of makeup. With the two tests, three project due dates, and eighteen assignments you’d had this week, you could use a bit of a touch-up. Hopefully, you didn’t sweat it off by the end of the night—though, that was sort of the goal.
You grabbed your wand and slipped it into your back pocket, patting it twice for good luck, and pushed through the dorm door. Down the hallway, you could hear the faint pounding of music. Your heart raced, keeping in time with the deep bass pushing past the walls. Was this a good idea? For a few moments, you stood in front of your door, pondering your options. Your plan for this evening could either end really well or really badly or you could avoid the possibilities completely and stay in like you originally planned. A deep sigh left you as your eyes slid closed. Who cared? This was your life and, you’d said it earlier, Theo was not your boyfriend and you intended on finishing what you’d started with Mattheo earlier this morning.
Deep cool colors swirled throughout the common room, echoing off of every shadow and highlight in the moulding. Everywhere you looked there was another Slytherin scarf or Quidditch team hat. One boy even wore a Slytherin flag around his neck like a cape. You laughed at the absurd outfit. These parties were most definitely one of the best things about being a Slytherin. Say what you will about the house, but they could throw a fucking party. 
You slid through swaying bodies, feeling the bass echo deep in your chest, rattling your ribcage. A couple of your friends were scattered throughout the crowd and slipped in gracefully with their personal friends. As you passed by them, they waved or flashed you a bright smile, all of which you returned. You would come back and talk but, for now, you were looking for someone specific. 
There was a table set up in front of the fireplace, decked out with green and black decorations, and overflowing with tall glasses of firewhisky. Your eyes skated along the length of the furniture until it reached a familiar body. You smirked and grabbed a drink before making your way over.
Enzo stood against the edge of the table, discussing something with one of the “bartenders.” When you stopped in front of him, his lips ceased and his eyes found your chest, then your eyes. His lips remained parted. Sweet, sweet Enzo. 
“Hey, En, I was wondering if you’d seen Mattheo, anywhere?” you smiled. He said nothing for a few seconds before stuttering back to life like an old car. 
“Uh, no, I haven’t seen him anywhere…uh, why do you need—um, I mean, did you need to talk to him?” he stumbled, awkwardly shoving his hands in his pockets. The boy he’d been talking to—some fifth-year—snorted and rolled his eyes, turning away from the two of you to pour a couple more drinks. You stepped closer to Enzo, feeling his body heat on you. The shoes you were wearing granted you a couple more inches of height, which, consequently, put your hairline just above his. His eyes were angled slightly upward as he watched you. 
You waved him against you. He leaned in. The confidence burning through you tonight was more than you’d felt in a long time. You felt hurt and angry and frustrated. You could fix one of those quickly. You traced the skin above his ear, pushing a small tuft of copper hair back. A small shudder went through his body as you pressed your lips against his ear.
“I just wanted to dance and was looking for a boy who’d dance with me,” you said slowly. “I thought Mattheo would be the best but maybe you could…you know…”
You pulled away and smiled sweetly, placing a deep innocence into your eyes, watching as his lips parted and closed multiple times. You tilted your head to the right, allowing your eyes to switch from his eyes to his lips ever so briefly.
“I haven’t seen Mattheo, I’ll dance with you,” he said, licking his lips and swallowing thickly. You smiled brightly and grabbed one of the hands hanging limply by his side. You felt his warm skin beneath yours as you tugged him toward the center of the dancing mass. You were pretty sure you recognized the song playing and proceeded to work all of its beats throughout your body, encouraging Enzo to join you.
“Come on, En!” you laughed. “You’re supposed to dance with me.” He seemed to shock out of a momentary stupor. You felt good tonight and you hoped it was showing on your face and body. He still didn’t move and you reckoned he was going to take some physical guiding. 
As the song slowed slightly, you grabbed both of his hands and slid them around your hips. His breath shuddered through his lips as you began moving the two of you. You dropped your hands to his belt and guided his hips a bit, biting back a smile. He had all of the facilities for these particular…activities, he was just really nervous. Soon enough, though, his hips were moving on their own.
You turned around and placed your back against his chest. Without prompting, his hands dropped down to your hips, gripping them firmly. He moved you against him to every beat of the song. To be honest, he was placing a little bit of blush in your stomach. One of your arms raised to wrap loosely around his neck.
“That’s it, baby,” you cooed in his ear, cradling the base of his neck with your hand. One of his hands raised to hold your arm against him as the other stayed intact on your hip. A crooked smile found its way onto his lips as the both of you felt every rhythm the other was putting out. Fuck, maybe you’d picked the wrong boy all along. The way Enzo was grabbing your hips and ever so slowly grinding against your ass had your lips parting in a slow gasp.
“Like this?” he whispered in your ear, his voice low and gravelly. Merlin, help you.
If anything could have pulled you out of your current situation, it was the burning eyes you felt against you pouring into your skin like a brand. You gasped a bit and looked away from Enzo. Almost immediately, you found Theo’s eyes on the two of you. Enzo noticed your sudden change of attention and glanced up, finding the older’s eyes. Like he’d been branded himself, his hands faded away from you and, almost as quickly, so did he. Fucker. So much for sticking by you. 
You were used to it by now, though. Where you were involved, Theo was, too. Even though you weren’t actually together, everyone knew you were Theo’s. Anytime you were hanging out with another boy, he always found out. Even if it was just for a school assignment. 
His jaw was clenched and ticking. His eyes were lidded and ice-cold, angled right at you. You rolled your eyes and huffed, stomping off through the crowd. He couldn’t get whatever he wanted all the time. He needed to pick. He needed to officially claim you as his, take you on dates, buy you gifts, and all that nonsense or he needed to leave you the hell alone. He couldn’t have it both ways. 
You finally came upon the end of the crowd and the staircase leading to the girl’s dorms. You hurried up the steps, not even caring if he was behind you or ignoring you or with a different girl. 
The hallway was completely empty, everybody down at the party or taking an early night. You rushed across the winding floors, trying your best to get to your room before Theo changed his mind. You just wanted to get out of your clothes and makeup and go to bed. Your dorm door appeared around the corner followed by an immense sense of relief.
Your hand closed around the doorknob and—a hand closed tightly around your arm and yanked you back. A yelp escaped your lips as the perpetrator slammed you roughly into the wall just beside the door. It was Theo. He was livid, his breath coming out in hard slants, and his eyes so darkened they appeared black. You swallowed thickly, your breath rushing out of you just as his was. The two of you heard your hearts pounding in tandem.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” he demanded, his face inches from yours. Your eyes glanced down from his to his lips, watching the changes in his anger. He waited impatiently for an answer for too long before you realized it wasn’t meant to be a rhetorical question. 
He grabbed your arm once more and pulled you away from the wall. A swift flick of his wand and a fury like no other, and he was pulling you into your empty dorm room. It was almost completely dark by now.
“You want some attention, huh?” he said, casting a flame into the stove set in the middle of the room, his grip on your arm never weakening. He slammed his wand down on your bedside table and pushed you onto your bed. You fell roughly against the mattress, your hands holding you up into a sitting position. He stared down at you wildly, like an angry parent.
“Answer me,” he growled. Your eyes bore the same innocence you’d given to Enzo earlier and you knew that he’d only last a few minutes like this. Already, his facade was flickering and his gaze was softening. 
“I just—I don’t know, Teddy, I—”
“You just, you—you, you…fucking spit it out,” he mocked you. Body betraying your mind, heat pooled in your lower stomach as his face got closer and closer to yours and he got angrier and angrier. If it was anyone else, you’d have gotten embarrassed or angry but with Theo…it was a different feeling.
“All out of confidence, hmm? What happened, baby, you had plenty out there when you were grinding your ass all over Lorenzo Berkshire in front of everyone!”
“What’s wrong with Enzo?” you squeaked, your thumbs rolling over the other.
“He’s not me, you stupid girl,” he roared, his words perking your chest. You pressed your thighs together discreetly, never losing eye contact with him. You hoped he hadn’t seen you.
“Are you serious? Are you fucking turned on right now?” he asked. He had seen you. You didn’t say anything. His hand reached around and roughly gripped your hair, his fingers tugging deliciously on your scalp. He held your head back.
“Answer me, baby,” he whispered, his voice a thousand times different. “Does it turn you on when I shout at you? When you get me jealous and worked up?” The way he was looking down at you had you gulping against the strain being placed on your throat. You nodded.
“God, you’re so fucking pathetic,” he laughed darkly, the sinister tone in his voice echoing in your stomach. His hand let go of your hair and grabbed your jaw tightly. He held your face up so you were looking directly into his eyes.
“Maybe I need to remind you who you fucking belong to?” An eyebrow quirked. You nodded once more, anticipation hitting you like a train. He smirked, releasing your jaw by pushing you back roughly. Your back came into contact with the bed, the material nearly knocking the breath out of you. 
He crawled over you slowly, letting his lips ghost over your exposed cleavage, neck, chin, lips. He paused and allowed his breath to pour into your mouth. He tasted like alcohol, the scent of it burning your lips. He pushed his tongue out and gently traced it over your bottom lip. Your lips parted in a gasp at the contact. Just as soon as your mouth had opened, his had covered it, suffocating all breath. You moaned into him, feeling the way his body held you tightly against the mattress. 
You raised your hand to place your fingers beneath his shirt, but one of his hands reached down and grabbed yours with a speed your intoxicated brain wasn’t capable of comprehending right now. He raised them above your head and held them with a grip like a vice, his fingers violent and unyielding. You’d definitely have bruises in the morning. 
You bucked your hips against him, trying to illicit some contact between your core and his. He grunted at the touch before pulling back and roughly turning you over, pressing your chest into the mattress. 
“Don’t fucking do that,” he growled into your ear, still holding your hands tightly above you. “Do as I fucking say. I’m going to pull this skirt up and I’m going to fuck you and you’re not going to say a word but my name. Do you understand me?” You nodded frantically, impatiently waiting for some contact. 
“Keep your hands there,” he instructed as he slowly let them go. You curled your fingers around the edge of the bed to keep them locked in place. You didn’t dare disobey him. 
Behind you, you could hear the clink of his belt buckle as he pulled it from his jeans and dropped it to the floor. The anticipation was killing you, your thighs pressing tightly together for a chance at some friction. The heat between them was beginning to become too much. 
He pressed bruising kisses along the side of your neck, trailing them down your shoulder. His teeth cut along the flesh, ripping blacks and blues into the sensitive skin. You whimpered at the feeling, knowing good and well he just wanted everyone to see whose you were.
His fingers ghosted along the outsides of your thighs, tracing the chills that appeared in their wake. You shuddered against the sheets, waiting to feel everything he was about to do. You couldn’t see any of his movements and, for whatever reason, that amplified the feeling by a million. 
There was a moment of nothing except for the sound of rustling clothing. No part of him touched you and you found yourself becoming more and more desperate by the moment. You reckoned he was removing unnecessary items of his outfit but if he didn’t do something soon, you were going to start pitching a fit. 
Then his thumb pressed against your thin undergarments, right where you needed him the very most. An awfully audible moan left your lips and your spine arched against his touch. Merlin help anyone who walked by this dorm or, worse, tried to come in.
“Please, baby,” you sighed, your fingers clenching tightly against the mattress. His hand roughly grabbed your hair once more, tugging your head back.
“My name only, you dumb slut,” he insulted before pushing your head back into the sheets. One hand held your head to the bed as the other lined his hips up with yours. 
No matter how many times the two of you did this, you’d never get used to it. He was just so much better than any of the other boys in school. And there were a lot of them too. None of them felt like Theo and he knew it, too. He knew that you would always come back to him. He was impossible to leave. His touch and rough, degrading words were addictive and you couldn’t stay away from him. Your friends had told you over and over again that you needed to drop him and completely move on but you just couldn’t. He was the closest thing to a drug you had.
He tucked a finger beneath your undergarments and slid them over to the side. He placed a hand in front of your face. “Spit,” he ordered. You complied. He spread the material over his fingers slowly, coating each one thoroughly. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw his hand disappear and reintroduce itself with your core. The tips of his soaked fingers skirted between the slit of your skin, lathering you in his touch. Just as he’d instructed, his name poured from your lips like a prayer. 
He pulled his hands away and quickly replaced them with a dark, warm heat that pressed into you agonizingly slowly, stretching every part of you out.
“Fuck, it’s been a while,” he groaned breathlessly, pushing into you until he bottomed out. His lips curve just above your ear, every moan and whisper touching your mind like a soft hand. As he began to move, they became louder and made less sense to either of you. His name curled around the room. You worshipped him. The reverence you placed on every syllable touched his chest and slid down to his core. He gasped into your ear. You sounded so fucking good.
It didn’t matter if he fucked every girl in Hogwarts, none of them could ever compare to you. 
“Theo, baby, you feel so good,” you screamed, the words vibrating your skin. 
“Yeah, baby?” he breathed. You moaned aloud as he pressed an especially sharp thrust against you. “I know, I know.”
“Please, please, please,” you babbled, your words pathetic and useless. His hips never ceased their brutal pace.
“That’s it, baby,” he cooed. “Are you my girl? Or are you Enzo’s?” He growled the last part, his fingers tangling painfully in your hair. You yelped at the feeling, tilting your head back to relieve some of the pain.
“No, no! I’m yours, Teddy, I’m all yours, please,” you begged. 
“That’s right, baby.” He released your hair. Every movement of his body brought you closer and closer to your end. His hands gripping your hips and pulling himself toward his own, his lips curling against your ear, his weight holding you perfectly in place.
Neither of you would last much longer and you both knew that. Every deep push of his hips drove you further into your pleasure as you began to close around him, gradually coaxing a release out of him. One of his hands dropped down to trace tight circles against you, ignoring the way your hips quaked to get away from the overstimulation. You were done for. 
Every sound pouring from his lips began to mingle with yours a bit closer as he pushed you through both of your final breaths. His hips got slower and his grip loosened on your waist. The loss of his support sent your weakened body falling back down to the mattress. A breathless chuckle came from him as he laid down beside you, his shimmering skin luminescent in the moonlight. You presented him with a tired smile. 
“Could Enzo fuck you like that?” he asked, a proud smirk imprinted on his lips.
“I don’t know—I’ll let you know when I find out.”
3K notes · View notes
neuvistar · 11 months
Text
ASS, TITS OR THIGHS?
— featuring ┊satoru gojo, toji fushiguro, suguru geto, kento nanami, choso kamo x fem!reader (all separate)
— warnings / content warnings ┊suggestive obvi, not proofread oops, cunnilingus, uhm uhm use of nicknames, riding, mentions of titfucking, overall suggestive content | 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT
— a/n ┊jujutsu kaisen hyperfixation got the best of me guys i betrayed u all and accidentally became a gojo + sukuna liker i’m sorry. apology coming soon /j 😔
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𖦹 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔 𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎
let’s be real here.. i know damn well this guy is definitely a tit man. cmon it’s just this feeling in me that can sense this guy’s love for titties, he’s the number one tit lover guys im telling you! i bet gojo is def the type to stand behind you and tower over you) at random times and slowly slip his large hands into your shirt, squeezing your tits like it’s the most casual thing for him! of course you wouldn’t mind.. so you would just carry on with whatever you were doing. up until he nuzzles against your nape, inhaling your scent as his fingers tug and pinch at your sensitive nipples, smirking against your skin when he hears you whimper at his touch. this guy makes your head spin sometimes it’s actually insane. “ooh. they’re soft.” “that’s how they’re supposed to be, dumbass” ngl i feel like gojo would love your tits for the dumbest reason ever, like since he’s rlly rlly tall i feel like he would like your tits all because “they’re easier to reach” LMFAO he’s so silly! this guy probably love’s embarrassing you sometimes cuz he would grab your tits literally ANYWHERE (if ur fine w it ofc) in conclusion.. he loves seeing you all embarrassed whenever he brings a hand to cup your tits in his hand!
gojo here loves stuffing his face in your tits, he doesn’t care.. it’s the ocean he wants to dive into 2nite lol! anyways sometimes during sweet little cuddle sessions he would straight up pull you up by your hips and press himself closer against your body before leaning down to drown his face in the softness your tits, cmon.. can you blame him? but anyways! gojo loves your titties regardless.. big or small, small or big, he’ll still be willing to shove his face in ‘em! he definitely has a thing for titfucking, you just.. look so hot laying there all sweet for him, squeezing your tits against his hard cock while he thrusts in between them, trying his best not to overdo it. “f—fuck.. they’re so soft.. so perfect. no one has ever fucked your tits like this like i have right, angel? mhm? look at them.. s’pretty and all mine.” he pinched your nipples rather harshly, forcing a whine to leave your pretty lips. “all mine, yeah?”
𖦹 𝐓𝐎𝐉𝐈 𝐅𝐔𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐎
look me in the eyes and tell me toji fushiguro doesn’t look like the ultimate ass man ever, cmon tell me! are we really surprised tho? are we REALLY surprised? he looks like the biggest ass man known to mankind it’s not even funny at this point he loves ass he mfing does i tell you. this old hag probably steals a few glances at your ass from time to time whenever you wear a skirt.. or a dress for special occasions, toji cant control himself bro it’s not his fault you had allat back there.. it’s not his fault for looking it was an accident! (no it was not and you knew it) ngl the first time he caught a glimpse of your ass he probably said “damn.” so loudly, loud and clear for you to hear. “damn.” you heard a familiar voice behind you, glancing over your shoulder to see your boyfriend’s intense gaze at your bottom. “i knew your ass was nice but i didn’t know it was this nice.. damnn.” “oh shut up, will you?” idk abt u guys but toji is probably the type to slap it while you walk past him sometimes.. like it’s so unexpected you just straight up flinch and glare up at him, rubbing it to try and ease the pain bc i bet his slaps HURT sometimes
toji 100% a fan of you taking it from the back.. he loves it! i mean do i need to explain further? though he loves seeing your facial expressions to see just how well he fucks you but i feel like he prefers to see your ass and well-defined back. you have this man in a TRANCE. no matter how hard he tries to focus on you, his eyes always manage to wander down to your rear. he loves pounding into you mercilessly like there’s no tomorrow just to see the jiggle physics of yo ass because gahhh dayummmm he loves the way it moves, my guy probably spanks too i’m telling u this dude loves ass, especially yours.. it’s an unhealthy obsession at this point idk what to tell u 🤷‍♀️
𖦹 𝐒𝐔𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐔 𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐎
suguru def a thigh man, i don’t even know my reasoning but he just screams thigh man.. like he seems like the type to love them ykwim? like he just loves diving into them any time he gets, holding your thighs against his hands while he pushes them to your chest. he def loves eating you out just so he can feel your thighs caging around his head, he loves how soft they are, how warm they feel whenever he gives them a little squeeze. personally i bet this fucker is probably a lil crazy about your thighs, just a little bit! whenever you sit on his face, he pushes you even more against his mouth. his tongue is talented that’s all i have to say, suguru doesn’t give two fucks if he can’t breath against your overstimulated pussy, he wants you to crush him with your pretty thighs thighs.. he wants your thighs to be the last thing he feels + sees before he suffocates and dies a happy man! suguru would keep you spread on his face, not caring about anything else in the world but you and your plushy thighs around his head. buddy probably eats you out like it��s his last, squeezing and helping your thighs trap his face in between them. god, he loves your thighs
suguru wrapped his lips around your pussy again, forcefully pulling you even closer until his nose was bumping against your clit, was that even possible? “s—su.. suguru!” one orgasm, then the next.. and the next after that, he hasn’t even came up for air.. you were worried at how much your thighs caged around his head, worrying about suffocating further. you tried pulling yourself up, looking down at him as your lips quivered. “suguru you okay?—“ no. he was most definitely not! he was struggling 2 breath but he didn’t give TWO FUCKS!! “your thighs.. feel so warm around me. sit back down, princess. i’m not done.. ‘wanna feel your pretty thighs against me again.” “.. but are you sure? you were struggling to breathe i could feel it—“ “sit, princess. i said sit. do i need to repeat myself?” no siiiirrr 🙅‍♀️
𖦹 𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐎 𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈
ngl out of everyone here nanami is the most “normal” and tamed if this question ever comes along, my guy would probably answer with something like “they’re just body parts. is there even a reason to pay attention to female assets?” uhm. no obviously not but they’re hot ++ the question is important smartass. tbh i feel like nanami wouldn’t really care, he just.. appreciates you for being there by his side, he wouldn’t really care much about your body and what he likes about it, cuz babe he loves everything about you! such a sweetheart! but in all seriousness, i feel like he’d really be into your tits for some reason.. i mean come on! sometimes if he’s feeling a lil extra EXTRA bold be would sneak a few glances towards your cleavage, swallowing the lump in his throat as he notices you didn’t have a bra on that day. nanami would literally fight for his life and try his best to restrain himself n his desires every single time he would see you in any outfit that shows your cleavage.
i bet there was this one time you guys were about to cook together n you needed help with the apron so he helped you tie it, but then his hand accidentally brushed against your breast LMFAO. poor guy would realize slowly after and start contemplating his whole life and life decisions, apologizing to you sincerely and that he didn’t mean to do that! “kento seriously it’s fine, i don’t mind! if you wanted to touch them, you could’ve said so.” “i told you it was an accident, love. it’s not like that at all.” you chuckled at him before grabbing his hand and slowly bringing it close to your tits, making him touch em as the soft skin of your tits melt into his palm. “soft right?” you cooed, wincing a little when you felt his thumb brushing against your hardened nipple. “..mm.” cmon kento ⁉️ don’t be in denial! accept yourself as a certified tittie liker!
𖦹 𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐎 𝐊𝐀𝐌𝐎
tbh this guy could love all three of these, like there is not a single part of you he loves more than the other but if he really had to choose.. he would probably be fond of your ass, making him a semi ass man despite him.. probably liking all three! but then again.. lemme just say.. i know an ass/tit man when i see one (n he looks like one but my pick for today is ass) poor choso probably caught himself looking at your ass for a whole minute and he had to slap himself for a second to get himself back to reality, he can’t help it! your body is so hypnotic to him. i bet he’s also the type to give your bottom little taps and pokes whenever he needs something from you (damn) ++ my guy is probably a fan of you taking it from the back also, just like toji! listen listen okay. listen. reverse cowgirl position. lemme tell u he gets SOOO flustered whenever you ride him with your back turned against him, bouncing yourself on his cock while he can’t help but look down at your ass and how much it moved (lolz!) and how well your cunt was sucking him in! choso probably the type to bring a hand up to pull your hair, running his fingers through your hair as he tugs your back to him with your back arched, planting soft chaste kisses on your neck
choso doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable in anyway so he absolutely refuses to even plant a lil smack to your ass, even just a soft one! he would hold himself back n wouldn’t do it unless you wanted him too! if you do.. expect a lot of them coming your way because i bet he loves seeing your ass jiggle LIKEEE ITS NOT EVEN FUNNY NO MORE i bet his cock would twitch inside you every single fucking time he would see the jiggle physics of your ass! like i said.. he’s a fan of you taking it from the back! jiggle physics go absolutely craaaaazy 😝🙏
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querenciasturniolo · 5 months
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chris or matt x fem!reader please !!! i legitimately cannot choose between them for my life so you can choose :) maybe reader’s also like an influencer and they have this secret sort of relationship for a while and its all super fluffy, but fans are already starting to speculate that they’re together and stuff, and then at the end they finally go public with a hard launch and/or live and everyone in the comments ( or chat if it’s a live ) is going FERAL
p.s. also i’ve loved your works for so long you DO NOT UNDERSTAND and i’ve finally gathered up the courage to send in a message even tho it’s sent in with a request !
hard launch ⮕ m.s.
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word count: 911
warnings: swearing
summary: request
a/n: STOP YOU’RE SO SWEET 😭 please don’t be scared of me, i promise i don’t bite HAHAHA, ily are you kidding me 🫶🏻😭 also this was so fucking cute, i’m obsessed fr
everything written is completely fictional. the people i write for are written with characteristics and mannerisms that i made for them, this is in no way depicting what would actually happen in real life.
Watching Matt stream always had your heart stuttering in your chest.
The theme for Hogwarts Legacy was playing as he was adjusting his camera, your eyes watching him closely and trying to fight the smile stretching across your face. You were sure the viewers could see you staring, considering you were sitting in the chair directly next to him, on camera. His eyes dropped from the screen as he grabbed his controller.
“Alright guys, so, we’re playing Hogwarts Legacy tonight, but I have a special guest with me, as you all can see.” He turned his head and met your eyes, his own smile growing and his cheeks tingeing pink as he caught you already staring. Introduce yourself, he mouthed. You turned to face the camera, grinning wider than before as your eyes scanned over the chat.
“Hey guys, I’m the guest, obviously. My name is Y/n.” You said.
did anyone else see the way she was staring at matt ? they’re in love, confirmed
she’s so real, i’d be staring too
i can’t even handle this, she’s so cute
“Basically, Y/n’s going to play while I tell her what to do. She’s never held a controller in her life.” Matt teased, his eyes flickering between the screen and the chat as you pressed the button to start the game.
“Wait, I have to create a whole character?” You asked, glancing over at Matt as he placed the headset over your ears. He chuckled and nodded.
“Yes, you have to create a whole character, is that not what you were expecting when you begged me to play this game?” He teased. You rolled your eyes and adjusted the headset, making sure the ear that was on his side was exposed so you could hear him.
“This is ridiculous, I can’t believe you didn’t tell me I had to create an entire chara—oh my God I can have pink hair, I take it back.” You rambled, scrambling through the hair colors. Matt’s laugh next to you had you grinning as your eyes flickered between the screen and the chat.
this banter is only proving my point that they’re in love
i’m so glad she’s streaming with him this is so funny
has anyone else noticed that matt hasn’t looked at the screen once
You glanced over at Matt, meeting his eyes immediately. You couldn’t help but mirror his smile as you shook your head and faced the screen again. You created your character, groaning when you realized you had to go through a thousand cut scenes, even though you were thrilled to be playing this game.
“I never understood why you can’t see those weird horse things until that dude gets eaten by the dragon.” Matt said, catching your attention enough for you to glance at him with wide eyes and a slack jaw. You sighed through your nose and shook your head.
“I forgot, you’re a fake fan.” You said, interrupting him before he could fire back. “They’re thestrals, you can only see them if you’ve witnessed death, but they’re always there.” You explained, Matt furrowing his eyebrows as you faced the screen again.
y/n being a harry potter fan was not on my docket, but i’m not complaining
her humbling matt has got to be the funniest fucking thing i’ve ever seen in my life
i love this
The entire time you were going through the beginning quests, you and Matt had bickered back and forth, your smile wide with each comeback you shot at him. It wasn’t until a knock on Matt’s door that the two of you stopped talking. You paused the game, but Matt scoffed and unpaused it.
“You keep playing.” He demanded playfully, your own scoff leaving your lips as you shook your head and continued. Chris peeked his head into the door.
“Food’s here, just thought you guys should know.” He said, Matt nodding his head. Chris left the room, and Matt turned to you.
“I’ll go get it.” He said, standing from the chair as you turned to face him. Before you could process it, he leaned down and pressed his lips to yours firmly and turned to leave the room. You smiled and shook your head before facing the screen and realizing what just happened.
oh mY GOD I FUCKING KNEW IT
DID ANYONE ELSE SEE THAT ??????
WHAT IS GOING ON MATT JUST KISSED HER ON FUCKING STREAM
You ignored the chat, trying to play it off and completely move past what happened, thinking that Matt did it on instinct. Chats were flying in at such a rapid pace that it felt as though everything on the screen was lagging. It was completely screwing up how you were playing, not only your racing heart and shaking hands on the controller.
You completely short circuited, having no idea what to do as Matt walked back into his room. He was laughing at something Chris had said as he sat down next to you and glanced over at the chat.
“Oh.”
You looked over at him and raised your eyebrows, your skin on fire as you watched his eyes scan over the rapid chats flying in at once.
“Yeah.” You said, Matt finally meeting your eyes with pink cheeks. He smiled and shrugged his shoulders, leaning in and pressing a soft kiss to your nose before he sat back and grinned widely.
“I guess that was one hell of a hard launch, huh?”
tags: @strniolo , @ssturniolo , @thetriplets3 , @stvrni0lo , @gabbylovesreading , @dwntwn-strnlo , @tylerscreat0r , @toyourloves , @lvrsparadise , @angelcake-222 , @20nugs , @obsessivencrazy , @lollibumblebee , @stargirlv0id , @jellybeanbby , @idontexistman , @emssturniolo , @soursturniolo , @bernardenjoyer , @mxqdii , @leah-loves-lilies , @mattsnutsack , @champangekisses , @floofparker , @lovelysturniolo
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fatuismooches · 2 years
Note
Could you please write about the Harbingers and their voice lines for the reader? Like them telling the traveler about you and stuff :)
♡𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐛𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬’ 𝐕𝐨𝐢𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬 𝐀𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐘𝐨𝐮 ♡
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synopsis: The Traveler expected the Harbingers to be cold and ruthless in pursuing whatever the Fatui's goals were. Hearing their loving voice lines on you was certainly the opposite of what they predicted.
includes: all harbingers (platonic pulcinella) w/ gn! reader
notes: I've wanted to do something like this for a while. It was rather cute and fun to write! Includes five voice lines about you for each Harbinger.
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Pierro:
About You - His Lover:
“So you’ve already met [Name], Traveler? I’m not surprised, they like to talk to people, especially when they see me speaking to others. They’re quite energetic and bouncy, aren’t they? But I can’t say I dislike that about them. They are a bright light in my life.”
Chat - Walks:
“Much of our time spent together is on walks outside in Sneznhaya, with the snow gently melting on us. It’s a rather simple activity to most, but irreplaceable to both of us. I hope, after everything is said and done, I can take them on walks in other places.”
About Your Patience:
“They never comment on it, but I know they get lonely without me. For most of the day, they do not see me due to my work, and even when they try to stay up late for my return, they end up falling asleep sometimes. I truly wish I could spend more time with them. But I know, after fulfilling the Tsaritsa’s dream, I will give them everything and more.”
Something To Share - Meals:
“I don’t think about what I eat or when I do very often. It doesn’t matter much to me, but [Name] clearly disagrees. Instead of the maids preparing my meals, they started cooking everything for me and adding little notes too. It’s very endearing of them, but I don’t think I’ll ever live it down when the other soldiers saw me eating heart-shaped cookies with smiley faces on them…”
About You - A Second Home:
“I remember the destruction of my homeland clearly. It is something I will never forget. But even though I have only a small portion of time with them, they never fail to make me feel… content. With them, I can forget about everything, even if it is just for a few minutes. Heh, sometimes I foolishly wish they lived in Khaenri’ah with me for a bit, if only to experience a normal life with them.”
Capitano:
About You - His Lover:
“There is nothing I cherish more than [Name]. Many people often comment on our relationship, after all, we are quite different in all aspects. But I have them to thank for many things. They have taught me many things I could have never learned on my own.
Chat - Souvenirs:
“Traveler, you have been to many nations for extended periods of time. Would you share some items that would make good souvenirs? I always make sure to bring something back for them. If you have any recipes to share, that would be greatly appreciated as well. Whenever I am back home, [Name] always insists on having all of our meals together.”
A Special Item - The Kamera:
“You must be wondering why someone like me carries around something like this. I never cared for the device until [Name] told me about it and asked me to take photos on my expeditions. I guess I’ve unintentionally become a master without knowing it because they always praise the pictures I take when they organize them in their scrapbook.”
Something To Share - Smiles:
“I am not adept at smiling at all, or very expressive in general, something [Name] has an issue with. Oftentimes, they sit on my lap and try to get me to show some emotion on my face. Reading stories, telling jokes… they try it all quite frequently. While I don’t think it’s working very well, I enjoy their antics.”
About You - Reminiscing:
“I remember once I walked in on them trying on my helmet and coat. They hadn’t noticed me yet, and I couldn’t help but notice how small they looked buried under my clothes. But quickly I worried about whether their head could take the weight of my helmet. Before I could say anything, they saw me and scurried away in embarrassment. I never brought it up again, but it was rather cute.”
“Huh… Paimon would have never guessed Capitano was like this. When we go to Snezhnaya, we have to find this guy’s mansion somehow! Paimon wants to meet [Name]!”
Columbina:
About You - Her Lover:
“Hmm~hmm~♫ Oh, hello there, Traveler. Ah, I see you’ve brought [Name] with you too, come here, my dear. Hmm? Oh, I guess I forgot to tell you. They are my partner in love, music, in everything. Perhaps you should come to one of our shows one day. I’d say we are quite good.”
About You - Favorite Pastimes:
“I love going to watch plays with them. The theater is one of the places where we spend a lot of time. I always end up humming along to the songs. Sometimes, when the theater is unoccupied, we act out certain scenes together. Say, Traveler, have you ever heard of Romeo and Juliet?”
Chat - Naps:
“Hmm… what time is it? The weather just feels perfect for a midday nap. [Name] always indulges me whenever I want when I want to doze off. This surface is no match for their pillowy softness, but it’ll have to do for now…”
“Hey, you can’t just fall asleep in the middle of- oh… Paimon doesn’t know how she can knock out that quickly.”
Secret Hobby - Poems About You:
“Your bright smile that can go on for a mile,
Unmatchable style with a laugh that never ends for a while.
Sweet lips that I want to savor,
Ah, I am so glad I am in your favor.
Or should I say “For you make me ever the more braver”...? What do you think, Traveler?”
Something Interesting - Liyue Opera:
“Traveler, I hear that there is a talented opera troupe in Liyue with beautiful music and songs. Oh, you’ve met them yourself? I would love to attend it with [Name]. They love listening to music from around Teyvat, and I have to agree with them. Haha… I can’t wait to take them out of Snezhnaya for a bit.”
Dottore:
About You - His Lover:
“Hmph, you wish to know about [Name], I hear?”
“Yeah! Paimon wants to know what kind of person would stay with a madman- I mean! A Fatui Harbinger! You know, since that’s quite dangerous and all.”
“Hehe, is that so? Too bad, because I have no obligation to tell you. But they are truly… ah, never mind.”
“Aww… Paimon really wanted to know what he was going to say.”
About You And The Segments:
“Some of the segments are quite fond of them, while some do not know them very well. After all, they were cloned at different parts of my life, before and after I met them. I must say… it’s can be hard to get some of the other segments away from them. I didn’t think they would hoard [Name]’s attention so much…”
“Is it just Paimon, or does Dottore’s attentiveness towards them grow as each clone gets older? And hey, is Dottore jealous-”
“Shush Paimon, before he hears you!”
About You - Whereabouts:
"It's time for their medicine... Hmm, have you seen them, Traveler? You saw them leave and go into the city? And you didn't stop them? Tch, useless. I must simply go and find them myself... Now that I think about it, I wouldn't want you talking to [Name], anyway."
About You - Health Concerns:
“Ever since our Akademiya days, [Name] has been plagued with an unknown and virtually incurable disease. It is essential that they take their medicine every day, but they often try to avoid it, after doing it for so long. This is why I and the clones always keep an eye on them.”
“Aw, so that’s why [Name] always looks so tired whenever Paimon sees them… That must be so hard.”
“… I don’t care what methods or tactics I have to employ, or if the Gods or even you, Traveler, get in my way. I will cure them of their sickness. Nothing will stop me.”
When The Sun Is Out:
“Hm, it’s a perfect day for [Name] to take a walk. The fresh air is always good for their health. Perhaps a boat ride is in order as well.”
“Oooh, Paimon loves the sound of that! Maybe we can fish and eat it too!”
“Why would I ever invite you to be with us? I’m sure your very existence would give them a headache.”
“Hey, how rude!!”
Pulcinella:
About You - Relationship:
“You were fighting some hilichurls when someone called [Name] joined you? And they ended up lighting an explosive barrel? Wherever that child goes, they always bring trouble with them. But don’t hold it against them. They are a lovely person to be around.”
Stories To Tell:
“They always pester me to tell them stories. Though, this is not a bad thing at all. Not many are willing to listen to this old man ramble on willingly. Ah, youth is a wonderful thing. Would you like to join us next time, Traveler?”
Chat - New Things:
“Indeed, they have taught me many things. The latest trends, songs, books, and more that their generation is into. Sometimes I struggle to understand some of what they say too… the world is changing so quickly.”
About You - Baking:
“We bake together quite often. Most of the time, I have to direct them, otherwise, they will burn down the kitchen which has happened multiple times before. Pantalone was not happy. I have never seen a youngster with such little aptitude for cooking, but surprisingly, it is great fun.”
About You - Family:
“Ever since they were young, they were quite rebellious. Running away from the castle, pretending to be asleep after bedtime, beating up all the Fatui soldiers during sparring without hesitance. If anyone else besides me had to take care of them, it would not have ended well. But, I am truly glad they are in my care. I have thought of them as my own child for a long time. If it wasn’t for the possible danger, I’d have officially adopted them long ago.”
Scaramouche:
About You - His Lover:
“Huh? How do you know about [Name]?”
“Well, we just happened to see them with you once. You were actually smiling! And later we went up and spoke to them for a bit, and they were really nice! They told us that they were your-”
“Ugh, that idiot! Always trusting people so blindly… Anyway, I don’t need you to know anything else. It isn’t your business.” 
A Little Secret:
“I wonder if they could make dango for me again… it’s been a long time since I’ve had it. But how do I get them to make it without directly asking? How bothersome… huh? How long have you been there, Traveler? You didn’t hear anything, did you?!”
Something To Share - Burdened Feelings:
“I once tried to wipe my emotions and feelings of them away into nothingness. It felt preposterous to me that I could feel something for a human, one that could barely fight nonetheless. But when I lost the Gnosis, when I lost everything, as I fell down, the only thing that I saw in my mind was their stupid smile…”
When It Rains:
“Whenever it rained, they would always huddle themselves close to me under my hat. At first, I pushed them away, but the look on their face made me allow them to continue. Sometimes, I make sure to take them out on a day that’s expected to rain just to see them do that. Don’t you dare tell them that though, Traveler.”
About Beelzebul:
“[Name] is always telling me to reconcile with her, but what would she think of me, or of them? How would she act toward me? Would she even remember me? There’s that irritating shrine maiden too… Hmm? It’s nothing. Let’s keep moving.”
Arlecchino:
About You - Her Lover:
“[Name]? Yes, they are my partner. I suppose those Fatui recruits can’t keep their mouths shut about other people’s business for very long. Hmm? You’re surprised that I was so direct about it? Well, there’s no reason to hide it. But I would prefer that this discussion ends here. I like to keep my time with them private.”
When It’s Sunny:
“This weather is not my favorite. I prefer the cold much more than this blistering heat. But I did hear [Name] say that they would like to visit a beach someday. Hmm… say, Traveler, is Yaoguang Shoal a good spot?”
Something To Share - Quietly Loving:
“I’m sure you have realized by now that I am not very good with words or emotions. These things are far from my expertise. However, they seem to not mind my behavior, talking enough for both of us. But if they ever requested anything from me, I would do it without hesitance. No one else comes close.”
Chat - Coffee:
“One cup of coffee, with whipped cream, syrup, and sugar please.”
“…Eh?!! Arlecchino, what are you saying? You always order your coffee black!”
“I know. To be honest, I could not care less about all these extra ingredients. But… they always used to try and add things to sweeten the drink behind my back. I suppose I… miss them. This reminds me of them, a bit.”
“Aww… Paimon guesses that even the scariest and coldest of people can have someone special to them.”
About You - The Orphanage:
“They often spend their time with the orphans. I was initially surprised at first, and so were the other soldiers, but it worked out in our favor. The children love them far more than they will for me or the recruits. [Name] is a gentle and patient soul, after all. Reading stories, putting the kids to sleep… they are quite hard working despite having no need to.”
La Signora:
About You - Her Lover:
“My darling [Name] is the most perfect lover one could ask for. They are beautiful, inside and out. How I love to pamper them so… actually, there are a couple of new outfits I want them to try on. I can’t wait to see how they look. They are all mine.”
When It’s Windy:
“Tch, this wind is messing up my hair and clothes. [Name] used to always brush and take care of my hair after a long day, after I showed them how to do it correctly of course. Traveler, I’m afraid I have to go now. I must see them again.”
About You - Letters:
“Hmm, hmm, hmm… and it’s done.”
“Hey Signora, what are you writing?”
“Just a letter to my dearest. They are expecting something from me soon.”
“Wow, so you can send letters with your fire moths? That’s resourceful!”
“Of course. I always let a few stay around [Name] as well. If any of them happen to be extinguished, I’ll know if anything happened to them.”
About You - Favorite Pastimes:
“There’s nothing that pleases me more than seeing them all dolled up in the latest fashion. They look simply exquisite, especially when we do each other’s makeup. But I also adore seeing them lounge around in their favorite hoodies. They look great in anything, really.”
Something To Share - Past Grief, New Happiness:
“Sometimes, it feels just like yesterday when I lost him. Grief and bitterness wrapped around my heart like a cocoon that would never hatch. But when I fell in love with them, I felt something that I had not felt in far too long. That cocoon started to shatter little by little, as I started to remember how to love again. I truly love them wholly with whatever’s remaining of my heart.”
Pantalone:
About You - His Lover:
“So, you’ve met [Name], I hear. What do you think of them? Beautiful, am I right? Of course, they are nothing short of perfection to me. Hardworking, determined, helpful… I could go on about them. Say, Traveler, would you be so kind to direct me to some of the best shops around here? I would like to find some gifts to send to them while we’re here.”
Worries - Financial Concerns:
“Traveler, I have a great issue on my hands. [Name] has apparently forbidden me from spending any more Mora on them. They keep saying that they do not need anything else, but how can I restrain myself from spoiling my darling?”
About You - Favorite Pastimes:
“Oftentimes, we like to end off the day with some leisurely reading. The feeling of them laying against my chest, legs intertwined, as I whisper certain parts of the book softly into their ear, delighting as they turn warm- oho, your face is all red. Did I make you embarrassed? Apologies, I get carried away when talking about them.”
About You - First Meeting:
“My childhood is not something that I like to remember. But, despite everything, it is pleasant to think about the first time I met them. They were poor, just like me, barely scraping by, though they never failed to greet me every day with a big smile. [Name] would take over the grueling working shifts for me and the younger kids sometimes, and sneak bits of food out the window to me. Even with the fact that I was surrounded by poverty, I couldn’t help but think I had a true gem right in front of me. ”
When It’s Cold:
“I confess, I do enjoy the cold, but most of it is due to how adorable [Name] looks all bundled up in my fur coats. Or how they always dive under the covers and refuse to get up for anything. It is always a struggle for even me to get up from bed when they are so warm, too.”
Sandrone:
About You - Her Lover:
“They are my loyal assistant and lover, always willing to help out with any experiment I ask. I have known them for a very long time. They have always been the one to drag me out of the lab to get some fresh air… as a matter of fact, I think it’s about this time when they come to harass me. Somehow they’ve gotten half the robots on their side, too.”
When It’s Raining:
“This weather is good for testing how waterproof my robots are and the joints of my Automatons. A long time ago, I built a feature for an umbrella into some of my creations so whenever [Name] and I went for walks and it rained, we would be fine. Huh, you’re asking if you can use it? No, you can’t.”
About You - Favorite Pastimes:
“Eh? Sandrone, what is all this? You’re all dressed up!”
“Oh, it’s you. I’m simply preparing for my favorite event with my dear lover. We’ve just finished repairing an ancient Automaton, and they’ve decided a tea party is in order.”
“Wow! Even the robots have spiffy suits on! It smells so good here too, hehe, Paimon wants a taste of the tea and cookies too- w-woah! Where’d all these big robots come from?! Hey, let Paimon down!”
“This is for [Name] and I only. Now shoo. The tea party is set to begin soon, and I must welcome my honored guest…”
Inspiration - New Creations:
“Before I met them, I had never thought of using my skills to create mundane things that weren’t war machines or destructive Automatons. I thought anything else would be a waste of time, but surprisingly, it is not too bad. It’s quite nice to feel their fascinated face in the crook of my neck while I work. I usually gift these creations to them, anyway. They’re not much use to me, but [Name] likes these kinds of things.”
The Future - Fontaine Frenzy:
“I hear that I am set to head out to Fontaine soon. I would love to see the faces of those poor souls when they realize their technology is nothing compared to what the Fatui has created. Ah, I guess that means I’ll be seeing you there too. Will you be able to keep up with [Name] and I, Traveler? I must warn you, they are a formidable foe, with their refined skill and raw power from my mechanical attachments. Now that I think about there, there were some new weapons we wanted to try out… hehe, I can’t wait.” 
Childe:
About You - His Lover:
“Oho, interested in [Name] are you? I don’t blame you - they are truly an amazing person. Sweet, kind, and caring, not to mention, they are incredibly strong as well. Teucer loves them too, always wanting piggyback rides. I can’t wait to introduce them to the rest of my family.”
About You - First Meeting:
“I clearly remember the first time I laid eyes on them. I was passing through Liyue when I heard of an archery competition, and naturally, I was eager to test my skills. I was sure that I would win first place, but what did you know! Someone called [Name] had stolen that spot from me. Long story short, I pestered them until they fought me, and they really did beat me down. Haha, it feels so long ago, now that I look back on it.”
When It Snows:
“I once took [Name] to Dragonspine, because they wanted to see the snow as it was a rare occurrence in Liyue. You should have seen them, hah! Shaking and sniffling like it was the end of the world. And it wasn’t even that cold, as least compared to my homeland. Why didn’t I take them to Snezhnaya? Don’t worry, I plan to, very, very soon…
About You - Whereabouts:
"Have you seen them, Traveler? No? Haha, they must be hiding from me again. I guess I’ve asked them to spar too many times. Comrade, if you happen to see [Name], tell them I’m waiting at Northland Bank for them. Xinyue Kiosk, my treat.”
About You - Safety:
“Heh, I wonder what they’re doing right now. I hope they haven’t been roped into any strange commissions again. They are too helpful for their own good. If anything happened to them while I’m gone… Traveler, if you happen to be around, please help them. I’ll owe you, comrade.”
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