#i scribbled this while waiting for my meds this morning

[boozye]

He's silly...

#obey me leviathan #obey me swd #obey me #obey me mc #boozye did #i scribbled this while waiting for my meds this morning #i mean you can probably tell #it does look like something one would scribble on one's knee #while unmedicated #whats with my brain and levi lately

[thatdammchickennugget]

So this is the juke request, hopefully it's OK, if not that's OK to.

Juke request The pattersons and Molinia are family friendls for years ans neighbors Luke's 2 years older than Julie (16), julie and Luke starts getting sick (flu) at school and sent to the nurse (she sneakily texts Luke whats wrong and going on,he's julie ride home come finds out hes not feeling so hot either )  Luke shows up to nurses   sick (headache fever, thermometer under tongue etc) after convincing they are sent home, and takes care of each other maybe all weekend (thermometer checks, soup, meds comforting ) (each respective parents went away for the week) and along the way they admit they like each other  and get together (fluff caring please).

Sick Days

pairing -luke patterson x julie molina

warnings - just fluff I think

a/n - thank you for requesting!! my first time writing for juke, hope it's what you had in mind 💕

wordcount - 2k

It was a particularly chilly thursday when Julie first felt the telltale tickle in her throat during breakfast. She brushed it off, hoping it was just the morning chill. However, as the day progressed, her discomfort grew. By the time she reached her first-period class, a dull headache had settled in, making it hard to focus.

In history class, she could barely keep her eyes open. Her notes were a mess of illegible scribbles, and she found herself zoning out more than once. By lunch, Julie was shivering despite wearing her warmest sweater. She pushed her food around her tray, unable to muster any appetite. Her friend, Flynn, noticed her pallor, asking if she was okay, but she waved the other girl off with a weak smile.

Sitting in math class, the pounding in her head intensified, and she felt hot and cold at the same time. Finally admitting that it was time for her to stop pretending she was fine, Julie discreetly pulled out her phone under the desk and texted Luke.

The Molina and Patterson families had been friends for as long as anyone could remember. Living right next door to each other, their lives intertwined like the ivy that climbed their shared fence. Julie and Luke had practically grown up attached at the hip and while they both found new friends once they entered High School, they never grew apart.

Julie: Hey, I feel awful. Headed to the nurse. Hoping she’ll let me go home.

She raised her hand to get the teacher’s attention, but she didn’t even need to ask. The teacher took one look at her pale face and the look of discomfort on her features and sent her off. Her phone vibrated in her pocket as she slowly made her way down the hall to the nurse’s office.

Luke: No way! I’m feeling the same. Meet you there?

Julie: Yup, see you soon.

Julie trudged to the nurse's office, clutching her books to her chest. She felt a wave of relief wash over her as she saw Luke already there, sitting on one of the small cots with a thermometer under his tongue.

"Hey," she croaked, plopping down on the cot next to him. Luke looked over, giving her a weak smile, his brown hair tumbling over his damp forehead.

"Hey yourself," he mumbled around the thermometer.

The nurse bustled over, eyebrows knitting together in concern. "You two both look terrible. Let's get your temperatures."

Julie and Luke exchanged glances as the nurse handed Julie a thermometer. They sat in silence, waiting for the beeps that would confirm what they already knew. Moments later, the nurse sighed.

"Fever for both of you. You need to go home and rest. Who's picking you up?"

Julie hesitated, then spoke up. "Our parents are out of town for the week. But Luke usually gives me a ride home."

The nurse looked skeptical but relented. "Alright, but straight home. No detours. And I’ll have to call your parents."

Once outside, they made their way to Luke’s beat up car. The drive home was quiet, both of them too exhausted to talk much. When they finally pulled into the Molina’s driveway, they stumbled into Julie’s house, where it was warm and inviting.

Julie dropped her bag by the door and flopped onto the couch, pulling a blanket over herself to block out the light, attempting to stifle the throbbing pain in her head. Luke followed, sinking into the armchair and closing his eyes.

"Okay, first things first," Julie said, voice muffled by the blanket. "We need meds and soup."

Luke nodded, forcing himself to his feet again. "I'll handle the meds. You get the soup started."

He gently pried the blanket from her hands, offering his own hand to pull her up. Julie groaned but let him drag her to the kitchen. She found a can of chicken soup in the pantry and poured it into a pot, setting it on the stove to heat.

Luke returned with a bottle of cold medicine and two spoons. He carefully poured himself some of the disgusting stuff and got it down like a champ, although she caught his grimace at the taste.

He turned to Julie, noticing how pale and tired she looked. "Your turn," he said gently, pouring out a dose of the medicine.

Julie grimaced, eyeing the spoon warily. "Do I have to?"

Luke chuckled softly, the sound a bit hoarse. "Yes, you have to. It's either this or feeling like death warmed over."

With a dramatic sigh, Julie opened her mouth. Luke carefully fed her the medicine, his fingers brushing her lips. She quickly averted her eyes from his intense gaze, cursing the warmth spreading across her cheeks and swallowed it down, wincing at the taste.

"There, that wasn't so bad, was it?" Luke asked, trying to keep the mood light.

Julie scrunched her nose. "Terrible, but thanks."

Luke smiled at her, his concern deepening as he noticed how much worse she looked compared to him. "You really don't look good, Jules."

She attempted a weak smile, turning back to give the bubbling soup a stir. "Gee, thanks."

"No, I mean..." Luke rubbed the back of his neck, searching for the right words. "I think you're worse off than me. You should lie down. I'll finish up the soup."

Julie nodded, too exhausted to argue. She shuffled back to the living room, curling up on the couch. Luke soon followed, carrying two steaming bowls of soup. He set them down on the coffee table, then grabbed another blanket, draping it over her.

"Here," he said, holding out the bowl of soup. "Eat this. It'll help."

Julie sat up slowly, taking the bowl from him. She blew on the liquid, her hands trembling slightly. Luke watched her, his concern growing. He reached out, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear. The gesture was tender, his fingertips lingering on her cheek for a moment longer than necessary.

"You need anything else?" he asked softly, his voice laced with warmth.

She shook her head, taking a small sip of the soup. "Just you being here helps."

Luke's heart did a little flip at her words. He sat down beside her, their legs touching under the blankets. "I'm not going anywhere," he promised.

They sat in comfortable silence, the warmth of the soup and the shared blankets creating a cocoon of coziness. Julie finished her soup, setting the bowl aside and leaning back against the couch. Luke adjusted the blankets around her, making sure she was snug.

"You should get some rest," he said gently, brushing a hand over her forehead. "I'll be right here if you need anything."

Julie looked up at him, her eyes soft and grateful. "You're really sweet, you know that?"

Luke felt his cheeks heat up, a smile tugging at his lips. "Only for you."

Julie laughed softly, the sound warming his heart. She reached out, taking his hand in hers. "Thank you, Luke."

He squeezed her hand, feeling a surge of affection for her. "Anytime, Jules. Get some sleep."

Julie closed her eyes, a small smile playing on her lips as she drifted off. Luke watched her for a moment, his heart full. He leaned back, closing his eyes as well, the exhaustion finally catching up to him.

They spent the rest of the weekend in a similar fashion, taking care of each other and finding comfort in their shared company. Luke made sure Julie had everything she needed, from meds to blankets to endless cups of tea. He even managed to coax a few more smiles out of her, despite how miserable she felt.

By Sunday evening, Julie was starting to feel a bit better, thanks to his constant care. They sat together on the couch, watching a movie. Julie leaned her head on Luke's shoulder, feeling a sense of peace wash over her. As the movie played on, they both gradually drifted off to sleep, the exhaustion of the past few days catching up to them.

Luke was the first to wake, the room now dim with the setting sun casting a warm glow. He blinked a few times, his eyes adjusting to the soft light. Julie was still sleeping, her head resting on his shoulder, her breathing slow and steady. He watched her for a while, mesmerized by the rise and fall of her chest, the way her eyelashes brushed against her cheeks, and how peaceful she looked.

His heart swelled with an unfamiliar but undeniable warmth. He realized in that moment just how deeply he cared for her, how much she meant to him. The thought of losing her, even just as a friend, was unbearable. He gently brushed a few strands of hair away from her face, his fingers lingering on her soft skin.

Julie stirred, her eyes fluttering open. She caught him staring and a sleepy smile spread across her face. "What are you looking at, creep?" she teased, her voice groggy but playful.

Luke's expression remained serious, his eyes filled with a depth of emotion that made Julie's smile falter slightly. "I'm just... I'm really glad you're feeling better," he said softly, his voice almost a whisper.

Julie tilted her head, studying him with a mix of curiosity and concern. "Are you okay, Luke? You being a bit... weird."

Luke took a deep breath, his heart pounding in his chest. He knew this was the moment. Leaning in slowly, he cupped her cheek, his eyes never leaving hers. "Julie, there's something I need to tell you."

Julie felt her pulse quicken, the air between them charged with a sudden intensity. "What is it?" she asked, her voice barely more than a breath.

Without another word, Luke closed the distance between them, his lips brushing against hers in a tender, lingering kiss. Julie's eyes widened in surprise before she melted into the kiss, her arms wrapping around his neck. The world seemed to disappear, leaving only the two of them in that perfect, timeless moment.

When they finally pulled away, both of them were breathless, their foreheads resting against each other. Julie's eyes sparkled with a mix of happiness and wonder. "Wow," she whispered, a radiant smile spreading across her face. "That was... wow."

Luke chuckled, his thumb gently caressing her cheek. "Yeah, it was," he agreed, his voice filled with warmth.

Julie gazed at him, her heart overflowing with joy. "So, what now?" she asked softly.

Luke smiled, his eyes shining with love and certainty. "Now, we take care of each other. Always."

He leaned in for another kiss, his eyes soft and full of affection. Julie stopped him, placing a gentle hand on his chest. "Wait," she said, her voice a mix of reluctance and amusement. "We should probably wait until we're both feeling healthy again."

Luke gave her a playful, yet stubborn look. "Jules, we've both already caught this bug. One more kiss won't make a difference."

Julie hesitated, her resolve weakening under the intensity of his gaze. "You sure?" she whispered, her lips already inching closer to his.

He nodded, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "Positive."

Without further hesitation, Luke closed the gap between them, capturing her lips in another kiss. This time, it was deeper, filled with the unspoken emotions and promises that had been building between them. Julie's hands found their way to his hair, pulling him closer as she returned the kiss with equal fervor.

When they finally broke apart, both were breathless, their foreheads resting against each other. Julie's eyes were bright. "Okay," she said, a small laugh escaping her lips. "You win. But if I get worse, I'm blaming you."

Luke chuckled, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead. "That’s okay."

They settled back into the couch, Julie curling up against Luke's side. The movie continued to play in the background, but neither of them paid much attention. Luke wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close, and they stayed like that, finding comfort in each other's presence.

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[therisingphoenixden]

Prompt #28: That Surprising Vanity

Prompt: Vainglory

Characters: Berude Eijinn (WoL), Thancred Waters, Urianger Augurelt

Content Warnings: Shadowbringers spoilers.

Author’s Notes: I really won’t lie about this one. I wrote this after my brains had been scrambled by the intricacies of inventory management and AP figures while at work, then while waiting for my sleep meds to kick in. Which they did. Unexpectedly. So I kind of rushed this in an attempt to wake myself up this morning before I head off to my day job.

For as long as Berude had been a member of the Scions, it was rare to ever see Urianger out of his cowled hempen robe and usual goggles. For two years during the worst of the Primal threat, the defense of Eorzea against Garlemald, and the confrontation with Nabriales, not once had she seen him without his signature outfit. Even more recently, after the rescue of Raubahn, restoration of the Sultana, and Y’shtola’s rescue from the Lifestream, he had not deviated.

Yet once she felt the Ruin bolt dispel the Warrior of Darkness’ chains binding her and her friends and heard the Warriors of Darkness’ mysterious ally speak, she knew. He could hide behind new robes that accentuated his figure far too well for her liking and a mask, but she knew that deep, almost musical voice.

Her hands balled into fists that almost immediately relaxed when the mask was torn away. Her jaw dropped as he drew his scholar’s tome while caressing it fondly and convinced herself to chase away the traitorous thoughts brewing in the back of her mind. She wasn’t quite a widow, nor was it a new pain, but thinking such things about Urianger, of all people, suddenly felt traitorous to Haurchefant’s memory.

She was all too grateful when Alisaie spoke up with a plan to deal with the Warriors of Darkness.

–

Several years had passed since that inciting event and Berude found herself walking through the floral fields of the Fae Kingdom of Il Mheg on her way to Urianger’s home among the pixies. The ever-present light and the odd warmth it brought had her shed the heavy cropped vest and multiple belts and wraps that made her monk’s raiment.

“Glad you made it,” Thancred grumbled as he took in her state of undress. “Let’s go. He should be in.”

She frowned at this new taciturn Thancred, although she supposed it was better than drunkard Thancred. “Lead on.”

The interior was cozy enough, with several couches and armchairs scattered about. But they were nothing compared to the books and parchment scattered over every table and flat surface. It appeared her friend had at least been keeping himself busy, she reasoned as she looked at one of the sheets of parchment. The tiny scribbles were nearly enough to make her start to go cross-eyed when she heard it.

“ Unto a world weary of heroes, a hero wends her way…”

She hadn’t realized how much she had missed hearing his voice. It had only been a few weeks, just barely a moon really, since he had collapsed at the Rising Stones. But it was a relief all the same to hear his poetic words in that rich voice once again. He was here, he was alive, he was…

…wearing a black sleeveless robe decorated with chains, gemstones, and star charms with golden bangles and rings adorning his arms and hands. Around his neck was a thick golden gorget inlaid with garnets.

Her jaw dropped and all she could do was stare at him completely dumbfounded.

The conversation was almost a blur to Berude, so focused was she on this new look for Urianger. This was her friend, and he was showing an almost entirely new side of himself to her. One that beckoned trust and welcome.

The fact he now wielded a star globe and a thin holder for his own deck of sixty hadn’t escaped her notice either.

His smiles were much more freely given when she correctly identified the hand-drawn chart on the wall as one of the elemental forces of Eorzea. And once she had been caught up on the vision of her demise and what the true end goal was to save this reflection of their Star, he had pulled her aside as Thancred went to fetch Minfilia from her hastily-assigned chore.

“My friend,” he began, those intense golden eyes boring into her very soul, “ere I speak of the task at hand, there is a question I would pose to thee.” For a moment, she almost thought he was preening a little. “What thinkest thou of mine appearance?”

Berude bit her lip to keep the silly grin from her face, but she knew she was blushing from the way her cheeks burned. Perhaps a little revenge was in order for startling her with such a radical new appearance. “I almost didn’t recognize you.”

“Come now, ‘tis scarce the first time thou hast beheld these fair features.” He returned her jab with one of his own, and they eased back into the familiar.

“I’ve never known you to be quite so…vain? Is that the right word?” Was it just her, or did the tips of his ears start to turn pink? “But, I like this. The new robes and this new openness.” Out of all the Scions she had reencountered on the First, his were the changes she liked the most. Despite his initial preening and her complete lack of comprehension upon first glimpsing this new side to her friend, there was a certain trust in shedding his old clothing for this new garb that left him so exposed. It wasn’t born out of vanity, she realized, but out of the loss of trust he had experienced. “Astrology suits you as well, I think.”

“T’was thine own studies that inspired mine own.”

That surprised her, and she found herself preening a little under his gaze. Curse her traitorous tongue for tying itself in knots at this moment! Luckily, Thancred swooped in at just the right moment to ask about the task of appeasing the pixies.

Back to business as usual.

#ffxivwrite2022 #ffxivwrite #ffxiv #named wol #berude eijinn #thancred waters #urianger augurelt

[lex-munro]

[Suicide Squad Scrap] Princess pt. 22

self-indulgent batjokes-flavored SS/BvS/JL, installment 22.

some whitespace here that will probably not translate super-well to various versions of Tumblr… i think my next major project will be revising/reformatting Princess to post it on my Livejournal.

the piece as a whole is rated Mature for pervasive language, varying degrees of violence, use of controlled substances, sexual references, questionable ethics, and themes of mental illness. set from Flag’s POV, with references to Birds of Prey, but not compliant with The Suicide Squad.

***

Huntress’ mob contacts didn’t get her much on Crane, but Canary’s did, and that led to Ivy’s professional contacts.  Gotham University.  STAR Labs.  Private practice.  Arkham.

“We got his current address, if you think it’s worth checking for more dirt,” says Canary.

“Let’s hold off on that until we hear back from Lane,” Flag decides.

Lane agrees to meet Montoya.  They wait at a bus stop together while Flag and Huntress observe at a distance.

Ten minutes later, Montoya looks at her watch and leaves.  When Lane is on the bus, they call the burner Montoya slipped her.

~I’m beginning to think this is bigger than you made it sound.  Otherwise, this is some impressive paranoia.~

“It’s possible we understated the risk somewhat,” Huntress says.  “This is important to us; Arkham is a Gotham institution, and Gotham is our home.  We don’t like people who fuck with our home.”

~In that case, you’ll have to make copies of the data and hide them well; they can’t be allowed to make it go away by stealing a—a thumb drive, or something.~

“That’s why you need to work quickly,” Huntress counters.  “If they think you’re sitting on the proof, they’ll just do to you what they did to their so-called ‘patients.’”

~Agreed.  I have a friend who can hide an extra copy where no one will think to look for it…but where he can upload it to public websites in minutes.~

“Be careful; a bullet like this can’t be unshot, so don’t miss.”

~I know.  What you’ve given me, added to what I saw myself when they invited me over to pitch their new ‘therapy’ to the deep pockets in Metropolis, is plenty to go on with; I’m going to pitch it to my editor as soon as I hang up with you.  A scoop this big, corruption and conspiracy…I’m pretty sure it’ll run tomorrow morning at the latest.~

And she hangs up.

“Now we wait,” says Flag.

~

Back in the VIP lounge, Joker is scribbling on the windows with markers.

      fear toxin  Crane    REDIRECT                    Santa Prisca  REDIRECT   Strange                                                                Bane  venom drugs          Blüdhaven       human experimentation        Coast City          REDIRECT                  Victor Fries             REDIRECT              Polka-Dot-Asshat                                                cryogenics Volcano Island                    REDIRECT  dots???                    Ben Turner     David Kane                                                        Coast City            claws         magic + tech        REDIRECT                                    weapons REDIRECT metallurgy

He screams at the scribbles, flings a marker at the glass, curls up with his head between his knees, screams at the floor.

“Jay?” Flag says cautiously.

“It’s fine, I’m fine, it’s *fine*,” Joker babbles with an unhappy chuckle.  “It’s the meds.  You ever try coming off an antipsychotic cold turkey after months of elevated dosage?”

“Can’t say I have.”

Joker utters a miserable groan, then a breathless giggle.  “Satan must be so smug.  My head hurts and my bones itch and I can’t string three thoughts together without starting to—to f—wander off, but in my head.  And Batsy needs me, so…so I can’t just…”  He lists to the side before rolling to lie on his back and stare at the ceiling.

“Jay?”

Joker starts to hum.

Lawton has been lingering by the door.  “Give him a minute,” he suggests.  “I got an update.”

Flag approaches.

“Arkham’s buzzing, but the news reports are only talking about the missing MaxSec patients,” Lawton informs him.  “The Birds’ buddy, Oracle, says the internal chatter is about sponsors, so that works for us.  Harley took her little friend to raid his house before he can clean up.”

“Dammit, I told her to wait…”

“Oh, yeah, of course, because she definitely always does as she’s told.”

Flag deserves the sarcasm, but doesn’t appreciate it.

“They have an off-site lab,” Joker says suddenly.  He’s still belly-up on the floor, staring at the ceiling like it has all the answers.

“What?” Flag says with a frown.  “Says who?”

“Says logic.  Arkham only has rudimentary pharmaceutical equipment, not a real lab.  Just enough to mix, dose, preserve…”

“It’s a big-ass place,” Lawton contradicts.  “Offices, normal treatment areas, a med center, a jail…  Five main buildings, plus a mess of smaller shit like the garage, groundskeeping sheds, guard huts…  What would stop ‘em having a drug lab in all that?”

“The fact that they had huge one and I fucking wrecked it on my way out last time,” says Joker.  “Darling and I had a little tiff, so I was pissed off and misplaced a zero in my math.  Gently imploding the pharma building becomes cracking the bedrock.  Even if they ponied up the dough to replace all the equipment—which they couldn’t fit anywhere else without displacing either staff or patients—there’s a lot of time and expense involved in fixing a fricking canyon, and nobody’s seen the kind of construction gear it’d take.”

“They couldn’t just set it all up in a conference room somewhere?”

Joker sits up with an angry scowl.  “Listen, you fucking amateur—real chemistry isn’t just pretty colors in a silly glass Rube Goldberg machine.  In a pinch, you can make a known compound with a couple jugs and a match, yes, but to tweak a chemical formula for a drug that you want to mass produce you need to be able rigidly control every aspect of manufacture, and if it’s organic, that’s another set of shit to consider.  If your main ingredient is produced by an animal, you need the stuff to contain and care for an animal.  Crane’s main ingredient is a plant, so he needs to control light, temperature, and humidity for the plant separately, because the conditions things like to grow in are usually not good for combining or distilling things with any degree of purity.  Then, on top of that, he had it aerosolized, which means he has a pressure system, and—”

“Okay, okay!” Lawton relents, hands up in surrender.  “Damn, ain’t gotta go all professorial on me…shit.”

~

There’s a girl on the stage downstairs, and Joker is watching her fixedly through the multicolored scribbles of his thoughts.  He dials his phone.  “I know they’ve been working on some Britney,” he says.  “I wanna hear their progress.”

Sure enough, after the band wraps up an intriguingly morose take on ‘Copa Cabana,’ they pause for a moment and apologize for playing a work-in-progress.  And it’s a fucking peppy-ass ragtime cover of ‘Oops! I Did It Again.’

“What the sugar-frosted fork?” says Lawton.

“I like it,” says Zoe, freshly returned from getting enchiladas with Montoya.

Huntress smiles at the girl.  Her phone rings, and she answers with, “I’m listening.”  For several seconds, that’s all she does.  Then she says, “Thank you,” and hangs up.

“Was that Lane?” Montoya asks with her mouth full.

“They’re rushing out an evening edition right now.  It’ll hit the streets within the next ten minutes.”

Joker lifts his phone again and says, “Tell that saxophonist that he better shape up if he wants to keep his fingers.  Tell Queenie she’s doing great.  And have them play ‘Beyond the Sea.’”  Then he tosses his phone aside.

Down below, Flag sees Mike hurry over after the song to talk to the band—the singer wiggles happily and blows a kiss up at the VIP lounge, and the saxophonist goes red-faced with rage.

Halfway through the next song, Flag’s phone rings.

Incoming call from Satan

“Here she is,” he says, and picks up.

~You have my attention,~ Waller says, and he can hear the seething in her voice.

“I’m not sure we do.”

~What are your demands?~

“You bring the Bat to Crane and Strange’s little off-site lab, pronto.  Otherwise, we overhaul Arkham’s roster the public and humiliating way that costs investors money and makes them think ARGUS might benefit from a similar roster change.”

~And I’m supposed to accept your guarantee on that.~

“These are simple, lazy crooks, Ms. Waller—they don’t like to go to extra effort if they don’t have to.  But if you think you can get away with silencing any or all of us permanently…I surely do invite you to try.”

~Invitation noted.  Come to the lab at midnight, or I will abso-goddamn-lutely try.~

Flag snorts.  “Good talk.”

~Suck my dick, Flag.~

He actually laughs when she hangs up on him.  “Well, kids, we got a date at their secret lab at midnight.”

Montoya startles slightly from where she’s been sifting through data to give Lane.  “Harley’s texting…found requisitions and whatnot leading to an old meat-packing plant in the Bowery.  Dollars to donuts, that’s our lab.”

“Sexy,” says Joker.  He gets up and heads for the door.  “Gonna go fix my face, first.”

.End.

#fanfic #scraps #fic series: princess #Suicide Squad #CANON DIVERGENCE #universe alteration #guest-starring the Birds of Prey

[whisperlullaby]

Don’t Over Do It

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Words: 1766

Warnings: Violence, mentions of smut, mentions of disordered eating and over-exercising, explicit language.

Summary: Your boyfriend is an asshole. Bucky reminds you that you are perfect the way you are.

A/N: Listen apparently it’s sad girl Sunday over here. This is another story from a real life thing that happened to me with a Bucky twist! Thank you forever to @river-soul​ for looking over this story. I hope you guys enjoy and if I missed any warnings please let me know!

"Doll, you okay?" Bucky wondered. "You've been really quiet all morning."

When your eyes darted up, everyone around the table was staring at you.

"Yeah, I'm fine." You looked down at your soggy bowl of cereal. "Actually I'm gonna bring this back to my room. I'm a little tired." 

You got up and left before anyone could object. You made it to your room and almost had the door shut before a metal arm pushed through.

"You don't seem like yourself. Did something happen with Sean last night?"

At the mention of your boyfriend, you flinched. Letting out a sigh you allowed Bucky to step into your room. You placed the bowl on the kitchenette counter and turned to face Bucky.

"It's nothing. Just dumb relationship stuff really," you chuckled but it was a humorless sound. "I'll be fine tomorrow, I promise."

Bucky looked at you skeptically.

"Okay, but if you need anything you know you can come to me. I'm here for you."

Bucky placed a gentle kiss on your forehead before he left. When you heard the sound of your door click shut, you grabbed your bowl and dumped it down the sink.

///////

The next day you were sitting in the shared kitchen picking at a bowl of blueberries while scribbling notes in your journal. You heard a chair scrape next to you as Bucky plopped down and leaned onto the table.

"Whatcha writing doll?"

You felt your face flush with heat. 

"I'm just writing down what I'm eating. Making sure it's all healthy, trying to be better about what goes in my body, ya know?" 

Bucky cocked his head.

"That seems like a lot of extra work. I don't think you need to keep track of what you're eating." 

He paused, eyes roamed over your figure. 

"You look great doll." 

You snorted.

 "Yeah okay, Buck whatever you say." 

You closed your journal and stood up.

 "I'm gonna head to the gym. You can have the rest of the blueberries if you want," you offered, leaving before Bucky could say anything to you.

/////////

Three hours later Bucky slammed open the door to the gym where you were dripping sweat on the treadmill.

"Steve said you've been here for hours, doll," Bucky stated an edge of anger in his voice. "You are going to run yourself straight to the med bay if you don't pace yourself."

You turned off the treadmill in a huff and stalked over to Bucky on shaky legs.

"I know my limit, Sergeant. I'm fine. Why are you being so nosey about my life all of a sudden? Yesterday, following me to my room. Today in the kitchen. What's your problem?"

"Yesterday you never made it out of your room. Did you eat anything for the rest of the day?" Bucky’s voice seemed to drip with concern. "You didn't even finish that poor excuse for a breakfast this morning and you've been here for three hours."

Your eyes dropped to the floor. You shifted uncomfortably under Bucky's gaze before your anger spiked again.

"It's none of your fucking business, Barnes. I need to lose a few pounds and how I do that is absolutely none of your concern." 

You started to shove past Bucky but stumbled your vision blurring. 

Bucky caught you as you fell into him.

"Sweetheart let me help you to your room, please." 

You looked up at him and nodded. He helped you into your room and placed you on the couch. You watched him disappear into the kitchen and return with some water before sitting next to you and pulling you into his side.

"Doll, you need to tell me what happened. What's making you do this to yourself?" 

You took in an unsteady breath.

"Yesterday Sean and I were making out in his car. It was getting pretty, um, hot and I went to get on his lap but he pushed me away. He said I was too big to have car sex with, that if I lost a few pounds we could try but he would be uncomfortable with how I looked now. That he couldn’t even attempt to maneuver me in such a small space."

You picked at a loose thread on Bucky's shirt. You didn't realize he had stopped breathing until you looked up at him and saw how red he was.

"He told you to lose weight. Because he couldn't figure out how to fuck you in a car?" Bucky seethed.

You shot up. 

“I don't think he meant it like that. I mean I've been meaning to slim down anyway. I know I put on a bit of weight since starting fieldwork."

Bucky cupped your face in his hands. 

"You've put on muscle, doll. You need it to kick ass, lord knows you can knock me to the mat like a pro. Your body is perfect exactly how it is. You do not need to put yourself through any of that shit to slim down."

Bucky’s thumbs brushed away your tears as they fell. 

"He's not a bad guy Bucky I'm sure he didn't mean to upset me. He's coming over tonight.  I'll talk to him about it."

Bucky sighed and shook his head. 

"If you need me I'm right next door," he offered, placing a kiss on your forehead.

"Thank you. I don't know what I did to deserve having someone like you in my life." 

You looked into Bucky's eyes and saw them flash with adoration.

"Oh, doll, you don't need to do anything. You deserve everything I can give you and more." 

Bucky pulled you close and hugged you. You melted into his embrace with ease.

//////

"Hey, Sean! You're just in time. I just finished up dinner."  

"Smells great." He looked at the table full of chicken parmesan, pasta, and garlic bread. "This all for me?"

You laughed. "Well, not all of it silly. I'm going to have some too."

"Don't you think this is a bit much? I thought you were trying to lose some weight. So we could, ya know, have fun anywhere." 

When he pinched the skin of your hips you sucked in a deep breath, willing the tears that pricked your eyes not to fall. 

"I just thought maybe this would be okay? I didn't think I looked that bad."

"Not bad babe just, you can tell you've put on some weight. I'm just trying to help you, do you have a salad? Maybe that'll be better for you instead." 

Just as Sean made his way towards the fridge, your door burst open to reveal Bucky. His chest was heaving and his eyes were shooting daggers.

You looked shocked as you watched him rush over to Sean with malicious intent. "Bucky stop, what are you doing?"

Bucky paused his movements but never took his death glare from Sean.

"I was walking by and I heard what he said to you."

Before you could react Bucky had Sean dangling midair. 

"You are a pathetic excuse for a man and you're lucky I don't beat the shit out of you right here. Have you ever taken one look at Y/N? She is perfect. And you don't appreciate her, she's over here pouring herself over dinner to make you happy and all you can do is worry about her weight." 

You were stunned as you watched Sean struggling in Bucky's grasp.

"Babe, are you going to tell your guard dog to heel and let me down," Sean gasped frantically.

Bucky growled as you placed a hand on his shoulder. 

"Bucky let him go. He didn't mean anything by it.”

Bucky slowly placed him on the ground. Sean moved around Bucky to face you.

“Babe of course I didn’t mean anything by it. You look beautiful, I just thought you would want to lose some of the baby fat so we could be more adventurous.”

You heard the metal plates shift before you saw Bucky pull back to knock Sean out. You gasped as Sean collapsed on the floor unconscious.

“What has gotten into you!? You heard him, he didn’t mean it he is just trying to look out for me.” You pushed Bucky back. “Why can’t you just listen to him?! He’s right! I just need to watch what I eat. Once I lose the weight I’ll be...I’ll earn his love.”

You looked into Bucky’s eyes and saw his heartbreak in real-time. 

“Y/N. You do not need to lose a single inch on yourself. Sean is a delusional asshat who wouldn’t know a gorgeous dame if she punched him in the face. You do not need to earn a person’s love.”

You stared at Bucky for a moment before you crumbled to the floor sobbing. He rushed over and cradled you to his chest, soothing you with his hands, drawing gentle patterns along your back. Sean started to stir and Bucky gently pushed you off his lap to stand and grab Sean by the collar.

“You are gone. Don’t contact her again and if I hear you’ve been around I’ll make sure you stay out a lot longer than you were,” Bucky threatened before throwing him out of your apartment.

He returned to you and helped you up. You offered him a gentle smile.

“Why did you do that Bucky?” You held your breath while you waited for his answer.

Bucky looked softly into your eyes. 

“Because you are the most beautiful person I have ever had the pleasure of knowing inside and out. Hearing what he was doing to you, warping your perception of yourself into something dangerous, I couldn’t live with myself if I stood back and did nothing. I had to protect my best girl.”

He reached out and wiped a stray tear off your face. You smiled from ear to ear and grabbed his hand to press a soft kiss on the palm.

“Thank you,” you told him, eyeing the table of food. “Well I cooked all of this and it’s probably going to get cold if we don’t eat it soon.”

“You asking me to dinner doll?” Bucky smirked.

“Well, it’s a start to thank you for everything you have done for me over the last few days. Besides I’m starving.” You started to turn around to grab the plates off the counter when Bucky grabbed your arm spinning you into him. He kissed you breathless and you were quick to deepen the kiss. 

When Bucky pulled back he was grinning.

“Let’s eat, then maybe I can show you how real men are able to fuck in a car.”

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #james barnes x reader #james barnes #james buchanan bucky barnes #marvel fic #tw disordered eating

[unbridgeabledistances]

hi 💜💜 i got a prompt about ian x body image a while ago (my inbox is a hot mess and i may have deleted the prompt lol, but i did paste it into my phone notes)- and i was feeling some feelings today & had some spare time amidst my travels & ended up writing this!!

prompt: can you write about ian and his relationship with his body image, esp post-canon when they move to the westside

(tw for body image/eating disorder/food mentions)

--

He didn’t really even think about it the first times that he did it— skipping a few meals that went unnoticed in the morning clamor of the Gallagher kitchen. He noticed his skin growing tauter and tighter around his abdomen with every passing day, a hollow absence sitting like a rock in the pit of his stomach.

He did it for a reason—he’d been getting more lingering looks under the flashing lights at the club, more unwelcome fingers pressed against the now-present ridges on his stomach, tracing his toned upper arms. The less there was of him, the more they wanted him.

The thing about Ian is that he was always disciplined; the middle child, the one who was overlooked and ignored and blended in until he decided that he had to make a name for himself. He and Lip and gotten into hair-tugging, jaw-smashing fights about this very reality; Ian was completely, totally, absolutely ordinary. Until he made himself extraordinary—until he burst through the storefront labeled “ARMY” at a strip mall with smudged windows and said with a tall chest: I want to enlist.

Everything had led up to this— every push-up on the creaking slanted floor of their childhood bedroom, every jog at the crack of dawn. He was going to make something of himself, he was going to be a hero.

He was going to get the fuck away from Mickey, and his wife, and whatever else kept pushing him down and holding him back.

When Ian came back from the army, when he was sleeping on exposed floorboards and working at the club all night—that was when it all actually started. When he decided that less of him meant more—when he decided that he should give people the best show he could, because everything else was fucked up anyways. This was all he was good for.

But then Mickey came through the door, pale skin flashing in the strobe lights, wearing that fucking dark button-up with sleeves folded to his forearms and smelling like nice cologne that he’d almost definitely stolen from one of his brothers’ bathroom shelves; and for a brief moment after the initial shock set in, Ian was proud— proud of how much negative space surrounded him, proud of how he could press his thighs into stretched golden spandex better than any of the other men thrumming to the beat beside him on the podium. Proud of how much other people wanted him, when Mickey didn't.

It was only later, after Mickey carried him home (easily, too easily) after he’d passed out in a snowbank, and Ian had woken and waited for Mickey to burst into his bedroom door at the Gallagher house while he leaned against the wall and scribbled on a notepad— later, when Mickey was about to curl on the floor and sleep using one of Liam’s balled-up t-shirts as a pillow— that Ian noticed Mickey’s eyes lingering on his uncovered torso, a second longer than the quick glances of admiration from the well-dressed men with greased-back hair and grubby fingers at the club. It hit Ian, then, when he saw Mickey’s gaze that was soft around the edges, the same fuzziness and confusion of Fiona’s stares when he would chatter on for too long in the mornings:

He’s worried about me.

But Mickey played along— Ian was back, and Mickey stayed beside him this time, and chuckled when he walked down the stairs to the sight of Ian cutting off the bottom half of his old ROTC pants, now multiple sizes too big and hanging baggy even at the hips. Mickey curled beside him on the twin bed, silently stroking hair back from his forehead and cradling his cheeks with a feather-light touch as Lip and Liam’s even, sleeping breaths swirled around them. And Ian kept doing pull-ups, and told Carl that he liked the way that Mickey smelled. Mickey came out for him. And for a while things were really, really fucking good, and Ian didn’t even think about the gnawing hollow feeling in his stomach at all any more.

Until a grey morning came, quick and silent, and kept him frozen under the sheets for days.

In the months afterwards, Ian trained harder, faster—he met up with Fiona as she pushed Liam in the stroller and jogged beside them, ran before and after shifts at the club, did push-ups on Mickey’s grimy floor while he was out handling Rub N’ Tug shit.

I’m not Monica. This wasn’t going to happen again. His body could do this. His body could fix his brain.

It couldn’t.

Most of what happened on the “road trip” with Yevgeny (that was the only phrasing that Ian could really mentally use to name the incident, the only semiotic filler for “kidnapping” that didn’t want to make him burrow even deeper under his tattered blankets) was a blur—Mickey feeding him fistfuls of pills and room-temperature Gatorade, luring Mickey to the dugouts where he tried to do a pull-up and felt a quivering in his limbs, a weakness rather than a familiar and fulfilling burn. Slamming Mickey in the face with a fist that was too flimsy, too weak—a fist that still left the blooming of a bruise on Mickey’s jawline, a splatter of blood caking into his eyebrow. But still weak, still not enough. Definitely not strong enough to fight off two MPs with loaded guns, tangling his hands behind his back and forcing him into the backseat of a car.

More blurry days— on the road with Monica. Breaking up with Mickey. Getting a job at Patsy’s. Withering away, purple bags sagging under his eyes. Becoming less, always less.

Then, a glimmer of light— he met Caleb. He studied to be an EMT. He got a call from Mandy, got to wrap her in his arms in less-than-ideal circumstances.

“I got tired of starving myself to fit in that golden thong.”

It was the first time he’d said it out loud.

He started to run again—and he started to not miss it, the hollow feeling gnawing at his insides, the twisting lack. He met Trevor, he went to brunches, he ordered mimosas and muffins and kept himself in shape, but didn’t push himself too far.

So it surprised him, really, when once again his body and mind weren’t in sync.

That was the biggest thing he’d think about, in the idle hours of he and Mickey’s prison cell, months later—that for once in his life, years after the nights at the club or the hazy early mornings at Patsy’s or in a baggy janitor uniform, he was actually doing really, really fucking good. He had a following. He was strong. Or at least he thought he was.

But something about being near Mickey pulled him out of his head and into his body, centered him— it always did. Mickey had always liked his body; Ian remembered how Mickey’s eyed at lingered that night at the dugouts, when they were two kids doing pull-ups and Mickey watched his muscles clench in the moonlight, two sets of shining eyes and bodies warm with beer leaning closer to each other in the muggy air. But Ian never felt a need to flaunt his body, or change his body, for Mickey— and in so many ways, those first days in prison were like his body was coming home. Sometimes it was hard, and fast, and filthy words whispered into each other’s skin—and sometimes it left them grasping for breath in an entirely different way, in fingertips lazily skimming over collarbones and fisted into roots of hair, of breathed “Fuck, you’re so fucking beautiful”s escaping Mickey’s parted mouth that Ian mentally stored but never brought up again, because he knew in the best case scenario Mickey would just roll his eyes and call him a “soft bitch,” and in the worst he would just flat-out deny it. But Ian felt balanced in a way he hadn't in months, with all the "Gay Jesus" bullshit pressing in. He took his meds, he did his nightly sit-ups, he counted down the days—until the hourglass was slipped out from under his fingertips and he was teleported back to the Gallagher house, back to the place where so much of this began and so much was about to end.

The hollowness, the hunger, didn’t really need to be there anymore once he was out— it was only a dull murmur. A ghost, a memory trapped in dreams of strobe lights and prying hands.

Mickey got out, and they got married—and in the moments before Ian called Mickey an “ugly motherfucker” as he let a smile crack onto his face—and he knew Mickey felt it, knew Mickey heard: I have never known anyone as beautiful as you.

And Ian’s fullness just kept blooming and compounding and radiating after the wedding; they fought, and then they didn’t, and it didn’t matter anyways because they were fucking married. Ian kept doing sit-ups before they went to bed, even though he felt like he didn’t really have to anymore. Something big had shifted; something had settled and given way, had filled in all the cracks.

So he’s surprised, when they move to the West Side, and that feeling starts to stir again; faint, fuzzy, like some sort of invasive and shapeless amoeba in the dark corners of his brain, whispering and hissing that there should be less of him. On their first morning in the new place he heads to the gym, wearing a camo t-shit that covered his torso and shoulders—and of course he ends up making a fool of himself next to some guy, some guy that he could have been, with sweaty toned abs and bronzed skin and rippling muscles. He doesn’t know why it gets to him, that small interaction—he’s so much happier now, so fucking happy he’s buzzing with it, but there’s also something churning in the faultlines of transition; that aching for hollow absence and stretched skin and interested eyes, that feeling that made him woozy and lightheaded as a kid but also sickeningly proud, like every moment of standing tall, of dancing, of staying alive was a statement, a challenge, a test of how much he could push his ability to be desired.

He immediately pushes the thought down. He doesn’t fucking need that anymore to keep his head above water; he’s stable, he’s loved, he’s fed. He’s growing organic tomatoes, and definitely developing a farmer’s tan from his days hunched over their way-too-tiny community garden plot tenderly watering and pruning the vines and brambles. He is desired. So it doesn’t make fucking sense that the hunger, the clawing in his stomach for the absence, doesn’t really stop.

**

“Okay Gallagher, spill.”

Ian felt his eyebrow raise instinctively at Mickey’s tone. “Huh?”

“You’ve been staring at this fancy fucking chicken thing you made for, like, twenty minutes. Stop staring at it and eat your goddamn dinner.”

He felt a twist in his gut. I don’t want to.

“M’actually not really that hungry.”

Mickey’s eyes narrowed. “The fuck’s up? You stressed about work shit?”

Ian huffed out a breath of relief. “Nah. It’s not that.” He fiddled with his fork on the plate, drawing lines into the sauce pooled under the tomato-basil chicken he’d made. It was healthy, it was good, he’d worked out today; he could stomach a couple bites of dinner if he fucking had to. He just had to work up to it. Even the smell was making his stomach twist— it had smelled good while he was cooking it, placing fresh-scented basil leaves into the simmering sauce, but now it just was too much.

Mickey’s boot nudged against his calf from under the kitchen island. “Ey. Is it a tired thing? Or a… sick thing?” His eyes darted to their kitchen cupboard, where Ian kept his meds on the bottom shelf by the water glasses. “Or, like, a food thing?”

Ian felt his fingers go slack around his fork. “A food thing?”

“Yeah, man, y’know. When you get all weird about food.”

A tightness in his chest. “What the fuck? I don’t get weird about food.”

Mickey’s eyes flickered to meet his—and Ian would have gotten more pissed off if he didn’t see the soft concern bleeding into Mickey’s gaze, how cautiously Mickey was trying to broach the topic. Ian blew out a breath. Of fucking course Mickey noticed this shit— he always did.

“Weird how?”

“I don’t know, man. You’re usually good, especially compared to when you were fucking starving yourself when we were kids. But, uh… I don’t know.” Now it was Mickey’s turn to play with his food, scraping his fork along the remnants of sauce on his plate that was nearly clean. “You got kind of weird about working out and shit in prison. And then at the house, with all the quarantine bullshit the first few weeks. Eating fuckin’ cereal all the time, then not eating at all. You’ve been normal since then, or whatever. Lookin’ healthy.” Ian felt Mickey’s gaze drag over him. “Just don’t want you getting stressed out and not eating again or whatever.”

Ian felt a muted warmth blooming in the hollow of his stomach, filling in the cracks of where the jagged feeling continued to claw. If it was anyone else laying out this fucking analysis of his habits Ian would’ve gotten defensive—or at the very least annoyed, that someone was pinning down yet another one of his behaviors, putting them under a fucking clinical microscope.

But of course, this was Mickey— and the difference with Mickey was that he cared, he cared so much that it made Ian’s body ache every time he realized it. Those words wouldn’t have come tumbling out of Mickey’s mouth if they hadn’t been building for a while, hadn’t been gnawing away at some corner of his mind over time.

Ian raised a hand over the table to clasp into Mickey’s warm palm—reaching over the empty plate, the plate of uneaten food.

“It’s, uh. A food thing.”

Mickey’s eyes met his—open, listening.

“You’re right about all the starving myself shit from forever ago. And the not eating. And the… quarantine stuff. I guess I just thought that now that things were good, it’d go away? And I feel so fucking good right now. But sometimes I just have weird days.”

Mickey huffed out a breath. “I fucking know you do, dumbass. M’just saying that I notice that shit. And we can figure it out.”

Ian felt the corner of his mouth tick upwards. “I really thought it was gonna go away. I’m a fucking adult.”

Mickey shrugged. “Sometimes shit doesn’t work like that, Gallagher.” He chugged a sip of water from his glass, apparently glad that this heavier part of the conversation was over now that he knew what was up. “It’s like what you tell me about my shit with Terry. Trauma doesn’t just magically fucking disappear.”

Trauma. He’d never really thought about it like that before—he had plenty of childhood shit to work through, between abandonment and raging mental illness; and he’d never really thought that his body image issues made the list.

But maybe they did— maybe this was another wound, one that he could learn to heal.

Mickey kicked his shin under the table. “There’s cereal and stuff in the cabinet, I got the Fruit Loops shit you like. Want me to wrap up the chicken and shove it in the fridge?”

All he could do was nod— and once again feel that warmth on his insides that Mickey was this good, that he knew how to make shit like this easier.

And he snuggled into the couch beside his husband, a bowl of soggy cereal in his hands.

#idrk what this is but i wrote it at LIGHTNING speed #can u tell that i reached the destination of my childhood home & am having lots of thoughts and feelings about body image LOL #i was like !!! i have a prompt about this #love u all xoxo #gallavich #shameless #shameless fic #gallavich fic #gallavich fanfiction #ian gallagher #mickey milkovich #ian x mickey #ixm #tw eating disorder #tw food mention #tw ed #tw body image

[lepusrufus]

To bargain for immortality pt.4

The first thing to come to her conscious mind as soon as she woke up were always the faint distant sounds of her home. Faint, as not only was Cassandra's bedroom on one of the higher floors, but any staff members knew better than to make noise while their mistresses were sleeping. Distant barking made its way past a window left ajar, accompanied by scribbling noises.

Nicole turned around, legs tangled in the blanket that was shared until not long ago, to look for a colder spot warranted by the warm May weather. The realization that she was alone in bed made its way through the haze still remaining from sleep. That, in itself, was not unusual as Cassandra almost always woke up first and busied herself with something while waiting for her to wake up.

"Cassandra?" She called out quietly, voice still groggy with sleep and eyes not even bothering to open.

"Just a moment," came her response from the other side of the room, likely the desk, as the scratchy sound of pencil on paper stopped.

The chair was pushed away and a handful of steps took Cassandra to the door, where a maid was waiting outside as per routine. After a couple hushed instructions, the door clicked shut again and she finally approached the bed, looking down at her wife with fondness. She bent down to leave a kiss on top of messy auburn hair.

"Good morning."

Her answer came in the form of a returned kiss and impatient tug of her hand, that she gladly indulged by sitting down on top of the soft cushions that she had priorly abandoned. Nicole wasted no time in wrapping an arm around her waist and nuzzling into her side, happy to feel the cool skin underneath a thin grey robe. Cassandra decided that her wife seemed awake enough to receive news, despite the obvious refusal to even crack an eye open.

"Bela wants to go into town later and asked if we'd like to come."

There they were, emerald eyes finally open and staring up at her in surprise.

"Did you say yes?"

Cassandra scoffed. "And finally get the chance to go out and stretch my legs after being locked up in the castle for all winter? Absolutely not."

That got her an eye roll. "In that case I'll keep on sleeping through the whole evening," Nicole said, pretending to go back to the dream she had just left unfinished, something the mild tiredness that had settled in her body seemed more than happy about.

"Oh no you don't."

Two strong hands gripped her shoulders and shifted her into Cassandra's lap, thin lips intoxicatingly close to her ear. "I even prepared the perfect outfits for the two of us, I simply cannot believe you'd pass up this opportunity for some extra sleep."

Nicole laughed at the feign offense, voice finally clear and free from the morning raspiness. She stretched her arms upwards with a few satisfying pops and then let her hands rest on Cassandra's shoulders.

"My, that's so thoughtful of you," she said, leaving a soft kiss on her lips. "Good morning."

The moment was kindly interrupted by a curt knock on the heavy door. Nicole groaned and moved back on the bed, pulling a nightgown that certainly did not belong to her loosely over her shoulders. When she was covered enough to not put on a show, Cassandra chuckled and addressed the still closed door.

"Come in."

A young woman entered the room, one of the latest additions to the kitchen staff as per Cynthia's request, with a tray expertly balanced in one hand, while the other held the leash of one of the thankfully well behaved hounds.

"Eris!" Nicole greeted the black dog, who snapped its big brown eyes in her direction and started wagging its tail. Thankfully for the girl holding the leash, the dog was expertly trained and did not lunge away to its owners. Instead it followed along, not tugging on the leash until both were just by the bed.

"Breakfast, my ladies."

A small assortment of drinks, together with a plate were placed from the silver tray to the small table on Cassandra's side. One wine glass was filled with fresh crimson blood, a cup of hot tea was sitting right beside it, steam rising up from the liquid inside and, in the smaller cup, dark coffee. On the plate, a freshly baked croissant and a small assortment of berries were waiting invitingly.

"And Eris, as you requested."

The girl held up the leash, but Cassandra simply waved a dismissive hand. "Just let her go. And leave the leash on my desk."

She did as was instructed, unhooking the leash with a soft metal click and placing it, coiled up neatly, on the carefully polished wood of the desk. Then, with a slight bow, she left the two alone once again.

Nicole didn't acknowledge that, too busy patting the spot by her side for the black hound to jump up. Cassandra opened her mouth to protest, but was a second too late as the dog was already in her wife's lap getting head and neck scratches. She sighed. At least all the hounds were kept squeaky clean outside hunting sessions.

"Stop spoiling our hunting dogs."

"Oh darling don't worry, I have no power over Carolina's training," she emphasized by snapping a finger and pointing it to the far side or the bed, direction that the dog followed dutifully, curling up on top of a folded blanket. "Good girl," she cooed at the furry beast, which elicited a tail wag.

Cassandra shook her head with a small smile tugging at her lips. She passed the small coffee cup to her wife, who took a tentative sip to test the temperature. It was lukewarm, as it always was, the routine of all the family ingrained into each and every staff member to the dot. They knew how Nicole liked her coffee, what tea to pair with any kind of breakfast and, probably most important for their sake, exactly how much blood, down to the milliliter, Cassandra liked to drink in the morning. Well, early evening, but who kept track.

The bitter liquid was downed in mere seconds, the taste accompanied by a sour grimace. Nicole did not like coffee in the slightest, having lost any possible appetite for the bitter taste after drinking one too many, or a thousand too many, cups during her days in med school. Unfortunately, it still did its job of waking her up, so a compromise with a sweet cup of fruity tea right afterwards had to be made.

She passed the empty cup back to Cassandra, who replaced it with the tea.

"I have to say, seeing your face scrunched up in disgust every morning is most entertaining."

"Happy to see my attempt at waking up is enjoyable for you," she replied with a pointed look thrown over the porcelain edge of the mug.

The look however was replaced by a content sigh upon sipping on the tea, the prior bitter taste slowly replaced by a blissful blend of fruit and lavender. While their cook Cynthia was downright an expert at preparing all kinds of meat, human included, her biggest talent was creating the best blends of tea, never too overpowering but always with a balanced taste. At least according to Nicole, and she would hold that opinion to the day she died.

While waiting for the liquid to get to a more drinkable temperature, her attention went back to the dog now sprawled on its side. "Why did you ask for Eris?"

Cassandra took another long sip of her drink, far more elegant than one would expect from a woman who had no issue regularly walking around covered in blood. "I just thought we could bring her along, I know she's your favorite," she finished with a smirk.

"That's not true," Nicole quickly replied, as if she were a mother accused of having a favorite child, which only made Cassandra's grin grow wider. She cleared her throat in an attempt to save some face. "I love all our dogs equally, Eris is just… particularly well behaved, yes."

Her wife simply chuckled, not having bought any of her excuses for playing favorites. Not that Cassandra wasn't guilty of that either. Her first response to picking a favorite would be not unlike Nicole's, but she had a particular fondness for Freya, one of their Finnish hounds, who always seemed so eager to sniff out prey on the hunts. She would be lying to say that she didn't entertain the idea of asking her mother to infect some of their best dogs from time to time, their short lives feeling like blinks of an eye compared to her own immortality.

She placed the now empty glass back on the table, not quite as graceful as her mother always did after a meal. They had plenty of time, so getting up was not yet in either of their schedules.

"Are we going somewhere in particular, or just out for a stretch," Nicole asked in between sips.

"Bela has to pick something up and Dani, surprising to precisely no one, wants to visit the bookshop," Cassandra started with a slight eye roll, leaning on her side on top of the cushions and starting to toy with the hem of Nicole's sleeve. "Since we're doing none of that boring stuff, I thought you'd like to choose."

Nicole tapped a finger of the white rim of her mug, nail making a soft clink. She sighed. "Just a walk around town, I'm really dying to get out too."

"You do realize you're not confined to the castle during winter like I am right," Cassandra laughed.

"And leave my beloved wife all alone while I go out and about," her reply was overly dramatic, complete with a hand gingerly placed over her heart almost as if such an idea was close to blasphemous. It only gained her a small snort.

"Should I remind you that I've spent decades in this castle? I promise I can bear it."

Okay, grandma.

With the tea finally gone, Nicole placed the tall mug on the nightstand closest to her, effectively freeing her hands. Free to trace tender fingers up Cassandra's arm, her neck and around the intricate lace of her choker to toy with the fine chains decorating it.

"You sure about that?" Her voice was sickly sweet, all too aware of her unbeatable talent of making someone as sadistic as her wife melt with little more than a hushed tone and gentle hands.

Cassandra did not respond right away. She was nothing if not a prideful person and admitting to the fact that yes, she would miss her, even for a handful of hours, was not particularly high on her list of things to be said out loud. It was almost an unbearably clingy kind, their relationship. Or at least that's what someone who did not know better would say. Truth be told, they were both the kind of people that looked almost desperately, although a desperation worn with odd grace, for comfort in other people. People they would then fight tooth and nail, or more accurately fang and claw, to keep close. It was obvious in the way Cassandra took on the role as protector of the family, nevermind the fact that Alcina would cut any possible threats to pieces before any of them had time to lift a finger. Obvious, also in the way she was so protective over Nicole herself, the beautifully engraved dagger always strapped to the redhead’s side either under a lab coat or at the belt of a dress rendered little more than a fancy accessory.

Cassandra chuckled, wrapping long fingers around her hand and taking it away from her necklace. "Why don't we get dressed before Bela comes to nag at us mm?" Then black lips were gingerly pressed to the skin, leaving a small kiss on top of bony knuckles.

With a shrug and a less than gracious stretch accompanied by a yawn, Nicole got out from under the covers, the red velvety fabric of the robe flowing after her like an impromptu cape.

"Are you wearing my robe," Cassandra's voice came from behind her, together with hands placed on her waist.

Duh.

Not that Cassandra ever truly complained. Finding the oversized clothing her wife often wore quite endearing.

"It does look quite charming on me you have to admit."

"You're practically swimming in it."

Nicole rolled her eyes which only prompted a small laugh.

They fixed themselves enough to be semi presentable for the small distance that separated the bedroom and the dressing room. Nicole was about to suggest wearing something more casual, but the fact that going out for the first time after the long winter months was almost reason for a small celebration for all three of the Dimitrescu sisters made her shut down that train of thought. No harm in being fancy on occasion after all.

The outfits Cassandra had picked out were nothing short of perfect for the occasion. Matching black dresses, Nicole's a tad lighter with a lacy collar and frilly hems complete with a white vest-like corset, while Cassandra's was made out of a thicker fabric and went down almost to the floor, surely due to her tendency to get cold easily.

Not being the kind that lingered in the dressing room too long, that was more Daniela's style, it took little for them to get dressed. The occasional helping hand for small things that one could maybe twist and turn to do themselves, but why bother when you have a perfectly willing to help spouse, was something they both enjoyed and took a couple extra precious moments to let a hand linger or fingers to trace expertly done sems. After some makeup was applied and the leash was hooked back to Eris' collar, they finally made their way downstairs.

They were close to fashionably late it seemed, as Bela, Daniela and Anita were already waiting in the main hall, the eldest throwing a miffed expression their way upon seeing them descend the grand staircase.

Nicole noticed the absence of one of their usual party members. "Isn't Laura coming with us?"

"She had to go to Donna's this morning. Spring preparations and all," Bela's reply came dangerously close to being accompanied by an uncharacteristic pout.

Oh. Someone's in a sour mood.

They made their way down the stone paved road that connected the castle to the town in relative silence, interrupted only once by Bela telling them when they would meet up to head back home. Other than that, they just enjoyed the short walk. And for good reason, the road was surrounded by beautiful rose bushes on both sides, with pine trees expanding beyond them and the sounds of birds and nocturnal animals beginning to wake up blending together in a quiet murmur so typical to the forest.

Once in the town square under the familiar angel statue, Bela wordlessly left them in favor of making her way down a small street. Daniela and Anita seemed more courteous and said their goodbyes and see-you-laters as they turned around, chattering about something only they understood.

Left alone, with their dog whose leash was attached to the same belt Cassandra's sickle was, they started walking down the quiet streets. It was almost sundown, so even the small crowd of people usually going about their business was almost non-existent, knowing better than to be out at night without good reason.

Something that Nicole was yet to grow bored of, even after a few years spent at the castle, was the small architectural oddities around town. It looked quite regular, albeit old, at first glance but a closer look would reveal the rich symbolism resulting from the centuries of being quite literally broken off from the rest of the world and almost frozen in time.

The go to flowers planted in front of buildings were crimson roses, the familiar patterns of swirling vines and leaves engraved into walls and lamp posts. A bakery they passed by had three sickles hanging behind the glass, complementing the harvest theme the entire shop had, together with dried wheat in vases and warm inviting colors on the walls. The one fishery that everyone in town knew had a mermaid gracefully swimming in a panel just above its entrance and horseshoes were nailed to most doors leading to houses or small apartment buildings. Even a toy store had a suspiciously Angie-like doll, although without the cracks and signs of time its original counterpart sported, looking out at any passersby.

One thing that could never go unnoticed however, were the crows. Statues of the birds, big or small, could be seen anywhere, from street corners to rooftops and atop building entrances. Some had their wings spread out, ready to take flight were they not trapped by stone bodies, others had their bills open wide in a silent croak and some were simply looking on. Real crows were also incredibly common, replacing the pigeons any other city had in favor of the black birds, ironically roosting on the statues of themselves quite often and kindly providing the city background noise with their caws. Nicole inquired about their presence once, and Cassandra had explained how the locals see crows as good luck, being a symbol to Mother Miranda. Many people fed them and even had buildings upon which small towers were erected with the purpose of giving the birds space to make nests.

Nicole had a strong suspicion that some of the birds were a little more than they let on, especially after seeing their so-called goddess break into a flock on multiple occasions. Sometimes, you would look at one of the crows perched on a power line connecting two buildings, and icy grey would stare back, the depth in those eyes far too human to belong to any bird.

Her slight glare towards one crow that seemed to look at them from a windowsill was interrupted by the memory of a small list she had tucked in her pocket before leaving.

"Oh, I need to pass by the pharmacy to pick up a few things we ran out of."

Cassandra simply shrugged. "Sure," and she looked around for a moment to find the street that would take them there fastest. Not like they had any plans other than enjoying the pseudo freedom that being out of the castle gave them.

The pharmacy was oh so conveniently located on the other side of town, adjacent to the hospital near the reservoir. Ever since Miranda had found ways to lessen the negative effects of his mutation, Moreau was the designated town doctor, but due to the still somewhat volatile transformations he was still mostly confined to the place and it's murky waters, a fact that he despised greatly. It was an obvious choice, then, to erect the hospital there. It was a small building not unlike the rest of the town's architecture when it came to size, no more than three floors high and with a small staff that Moreau himself had to teach the ins and outs of medical practice. If memory serves right, even Miranda and her assistants had taught some people particularly well versed in the sciences how to operate the equipment and patients alike. Medical training seemed to be hard to come by around here and Nicole had a gnawing suspicion that it was the reason she was still alive.

The building coming into view behind the trees and the paved road that cut through the small stretch of woods separating the town and reservoir looked oddly new in comparison to the rest, as it had been erected only a couple decades prior. Attached to it, a smaller house with matching tiles on the roof and a sign that read Farmacie above the entrance's double doors.

Dogs were normally not allowed inside, but who was going to stop them of all people from marching right in, black hound happily walking by their side. They were the only ones inside, save for a short woman sitting behind the counter, panic flashing in her eyes when her gaze fell on Cassandra's tall frame, hand in hand with Nicole who was at the moment too occupied with pulling out the list of meds she had written. She gave it a once over and, sure that she had everything down, passed the paper to the pharmacist, who knew better than to ask if she had any prescriptions.

"You could've sent someone to fetch these for you," Cassandra said, eyes following the woman as she disappeared behind tall shelves full of small boxes and pill bottles.

"I know, I just didn't want to wait. I don't like running out of supplies," Nicole shrugged.

Plus, Nicole was way less likely to be questioned on why she's buying twenty different kinds of meds than a random maid. Partly because the pharmacist recognized her and partly because any sane person here knew better than not obliging when Cassandra was looming behind her. A small smirk graced her lips at the thought and a sly look was given to her wife, who was too busy playing with the dog's floppy ears to notice. Eris raised her head at the unforgivable offense, playfully trying to nip at the gloved hands that were tickling her, getting a giggle out of the brunette.

All three were distracted by the soft clink of a bell hanging above the door, indicating that someone had entered the pharmacy. It was an older man, looking to be in his sixties, heavily leaning on a crutch held in his right hand.

Cassandra's features morphed into a scowl and Nicole could practically hear the man-thing going through her mind. The man was probably on the verge of doing a complete one eighty and exit the pharmacy, when a voice called out from behind the counter.

"Ah Andrei, I have something for that infection of yours, hold on a moment," the pharmacist called out, before handing Nicole a sizable paper bag full of what she had requested.

She felt an unwelcomed whiff of decay as Cassandra took the bag from her hands, and sniffled in an attempt to ward off the stinging sensation in her nose. She fumbled with the credit card, mentally cursing the payment for not transferring quicker when the smell was starting to make her eyes water the slightest bit.

"Is everything alright my lady?"

The man's voice, full of genuine worry came from behind them, having moved closer upon the pharmacist's urging, and the putrid stench of death and decomposition flooded Nicole's senses together with the slick sensation of blood running down her face. She had to force down a gag as she shoved the card back into a pocket and all but ran out the door, worried wife in toe.

"Nicole what-" Cassandra swallowed any words she had at the sight of the blood flowing down and staining the until moments before immaculate white of her wife's corset.

Nicole made her way to a corner of the building that nobody seemed to go to, and leaned against the wall, eyes squeezed shut and trying to ward off the lightheadedness.

For someone who spent years working on dead bodies in various stages of decomposition, one would think that the smell of death did not bother her. And it didn't. But this was different, the stench seeming to make its way into her skin and clinging to her senses, coating her throat as if trying to choke her out in the most disgusting way possible. Not to mention that there was no actual dead body around.

She coughed out the blood that didn't make its way out of her nostrils and instead decided to go the throat route. Her hands were a crimson mess and so were her face and dress, a pang of guilt shooting through her for having ruined the outfit picked by Cassandra. At least the bleeding seemed to stop and so did the horrid stench.

Cassandra didn't seem to care, nor even notice, the ruined fabric. Instead she pulled out a handkerchief from a pocket and started to gently wipe the blood away from pale skin.

"What's wrong?" She asked and Nicole could only shake her head.

"I don't know. I don't know why this keeps happening," she almost ran her hands down her face in frustration but had enough clarity of mind to remember how dirty they were. "I thought it would go away, and for a while it did. I don't understand what the hell is wrong with me," she added, voice rising the slightest bit.

Cassandra grimaced, trying to get her face clean. "We can talk to Mother when we get back."

A defeated sigh made its way past bloody lips. Nicole had her doubts that Alcina would know any more than them on the situation, which was nothing. They knew nothing.

She grabbed Cassandra's hand to steady herself back on her feet, mind drifting to what she didn't want to think was her only solution.

If there was anyone who could get to the end of this, it was Mother Miranda.

#unhinged maiden™ my beloved #cassandra dimitrescu x maiden #to bargain for immortality #fanfic #doggo!!! #some fluff for a break aye #go out they said itll be fun they said

[study-coffee-chicago]

Safe (Home Worker Jay, Social Worker Hailey; Part of AU-gust) {Please Re-Read; Made Changes}

A/N: After some confusion, I changed the home to resemble more of Brady (Chicago PD 4x13). So if you guys wouldn't mind rereading and liking/reblogging again, that'd be great!  Thank you for reading! Remember to like/reblog and comment! I'm also donating all the proceeds that from my buy me a coffee account to Save The Children to help the children of Afghanistan. Link to buy me a coffee. 

Masterlist

Jay walked down the long, dimly lit hallway and peeked into each girls' room. Because of the dim light in the hallway, there was no need to utilize the flashlight he carried with him and shin it on the floor of each room to make sure that each girl was there. He continued peeked in rooms to make sure that each girl appeared asleep. But then, he got to your room.

You were sitting on your bed, visibly shaking and covering your mouth with your hand so that your sobs wouldn't wake up the girls in the rooms next to you.

Jay quickly went to the last room and checked to make sure that all the other girls appeared asleep and then scribbled down on the piece of paper attached to his clipboard that all the girls appeared asleep...except for you.

He knocked softly on your door and you jumped. He gave a small wave and pointed inside your room, silently asking if he could come in. You didn't have much control in the girls' home you were in, so the staff was always trying to give you as much control as possible...even though you needed staff to wait outside the bathroom for you since there was a time limit, and needed them to unlock doors which were closed, since they automatically locked, hence all of your bedroom doors being propped open because staff needed to do bed checks and make sure you and the other girls were okay and where you were supposed to be.

You nodded, allowing Jay to enter your room.

"Can I turn this on?" he asked, pointing to the small lamp on your desk.

"Sure," you answered as you wiped the tears on your cheeks and drew your knees up to your chest, and then hugged them to your body.

Jay crouched in front of you. "What's wrong?" he asked. "We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. We can just go out into the common area so you can calm down a bit and go back to sleep. Or the kitchen if you need a snack or water," he offered.

"Can I- Can I get some water?" you asked.

"Of course," Jay answered. "Do you want to come with me?"

You nodded and picked up your water bottle. You also grabbed your blanket. Jay was going to tell you to leave it on your bed, but seeing how distraught you were, he decided against it.

"You want ice?" he asked as the two of you walked to the kitchen. He unlocked the door and you followed him in.

"Yes, please," you told him and then handed him your water bottle.

"Okay, I can do that."

You stood in the kitchen area while Jay unlocked another door to get to the freezer. He propped the door open with the doorstop and then opened the freezer and put ice in your water bottle. Then he closed the freezer, kicked the doorstop away, and then walked out and closed the door behind him. Then, he grabbed you some water, screwed on the lid, handed it back to you, and the two of you left the kitchen.

"Can I stay out here for a while?" you asked quietly after you had taken a few sips of the cold water.

"You can. Just give me a minute to text Kim, okay?" he answered.

"Okay." You pulled out a chair at the table and sat down, tears still coming down your face, but a lot slower than earlier.

Seeing as there was only three staff at the home tonight and Jay had to do bed checks for his hallway, he had to text Kim to let him know that one, he was in the dining area with you because you were upset about something, and two ask her if she could do his section of bed checks until he got you to calm down and got you back in bed.

She answered quickly and said that she could do that and thanks for letting her know.

Jay put his phone away and turned his full attention to you.

"What's got you so upset?" he asked gently after he sat down next to you.

"I have a home visit tomorrow with Hailey. My first overnight one," you answered.

"Hey, that's a good thing! You're getting adopted soon!"

"But they always fall through!" you cried. "And what if I have a nightmare when I'm there?"

"Hey, hey," Jay soothed. "We'll pack your meds and you should be fine."

"But what if she doesn't want me after this home visit?"

"Y/N, I need you to listen to me." You looked at him. "Hailey's nervous too, but it's okay to be nervous because that means you're about to do something really, really brave."

"Really? She's nervous? But it's her house?"

"Mhm, it's not just you who's nervous. The adoptive parents are nervous, too because they want everything to go well just as much as you do."

You looked up at him nervously while pushing the straw of your water bottle back and forth. "Will you be there?" you asked.

He cocked his head to the side. "Will I be where?"

"At Hailey's," you stated simply.

"Why would I be there?"

"Jay, everyone knows you two are dating."

That was one thing about being a man who worked in a unit with a bunch of female coworkers and girls he had to take care of: the gossip was astronomical...even though the staff did try their best to keep it to a minimum.

"I mean, I won't dispute that fact," he began, "but I wasn't planning on being over at Hailey's tomorrow night."

"Please?" you asked. He had a confused look on his face. "Please will you stay at Hailey's tomorrow, too? You- you both make me feel safe and if something happens to either of you..."

"You want there to be another person you trust around?" he finished.

"Yes, please."

"Okay," Jay relented. "I'll talk to Hailey."

"Okay."

"Are you ready to go back to bed?" he asked.

You nodded and you went back to bed, hopeful that Jay would be at Hailey's tomorrow because then there would be two of the people you trusted most in the world. Jay was one of your favorite staff members...mostly because he rarely disciplined you and the other girls and was always approachable when you wanted to talk about anything that was going on in your head.

***

"I need to do a bag check," Kim said. You handed her your bag to check so that she could jot down what you brought with you to make sure you brought all your clothing, toiletries, and comfort items back from your overnight home visit with Hailey (and Jay).

Once she checked your bag, she handed it back to you and then turned to Hailey. "She's good to go once I get you her meds. Some need to be taken in the morning and some in the evening. Don't worry, I wrote evening and morning on the med envelopes so that you don't get them mixed up."

Hailey nodded and then Kim went to get your meds.

"You nervous?" Hailey asked you.

You looked down at your feet. "Did Jay tell you I was?"

"He didn't," Hailey said. "But, you wanna know a secret?" You nodded. "I'm a little nervous, too."

"Jay told me you were," you said.

"He's good at making people feel better, isn't he?"

"He is."

"He also mentioned that you wanted him there tonight? Do you want him to come out to dinner with us, too?" she asked.

"If that's okay with you."

"Totally fine!"

Kim came back and handed Hailey your envelopes of meds and then the two of you were off.

***

Dinner had come and gone. You went to Olive Garden where Jay met you and Hailey there. You had decided to get fettuccine alfredo and Jay and Hailey both said that you could eat as much salad and breadsticks as you wanted. They even let you get dessert!

You went back to Hailey's house and were shocked to see how nice your room was, and it was a lot bigger than the one at the home you lived at and the one Jay worked at. It was simple, but you loved it. It had a full-sized bed with a fluffy white comforter, a desk, a bookshelf  (which Hailey said that you guys could go to a bookstore tomorrow so that the bookshelf didn't look do empty), a dresser, and a closet. Hailey also said when you officially moved in in two weeks, you could go shopping for more decorations so that your room wasn't so undecorated...even though you were totally floored by it the way it was now.

Hailey made sure to give you your meds promptly at 8 pm. Then, you watched a movie, the three of you had decided to watch Tangled because Jay knew it was a good bet since it was PG and not PG-13 and if you had to choose your favorite Disney princess movie, that'd probably be it. And because some things in PG-13 movies could be triggering...for obvious reasons.

When the movie was almost done, your stomach started to hurt, but you just chalked it up to nerves because you knew you'd be sleeping soon...and that was always the worst part.

Luckily for you, Hailey had a boombox that she let you use for music. You didn't have a phone or mp3 player and at the home, everyone was given their own small radio when they came. As a peace offering of sorts from the staff to the girls. But, you forgot it for your home visit with Hailey.

"Goodnight," you said after you filled up your water bottle.

"Goodnight," both Hailey and Jay said. They said that you could wake them up any time if you needed absolutely anything. But, you hoped you wouldn't need to.

You fell into a fitful sleep, tossing and turning in both anxiousness and from the pain in your stomach. God, maybe that pasta, all those breadsticks, and dessert hadn't been as great of an idea as you had previously thought.

***

Okay, so all that food most definitely was not a great idea. Soft groans were coming out of your mouth as you tried to get comfortable and move your body around so that you didn't feel the pain in your stomach anymore.

You needed to go to the bathroom and you needed it now, so you needed to hurry so that Jay could wait outside the bathroom for you since you needed to let him know where you were going and would only get a certain amount of time in the bathroom.

You grabbed your water and slowly walked so that you didn't irritate your stomach even more. There was a lamp on in the living room, which showed you that Jay was asleep on the couch.

You padded over to the couch. "Jay," ��you whispered.

"Hmm?" Jay asked and rubbed his eyes.

"Can you come with me to the bathroom, please?"

He sat up. "Oh, Y/N, you're at home you don't have to ask."

"Oh, sorry," you quickly apologized. "Sorry for waking you up." You were so used to having someone have to accompany you to the bathroom or unlock certain doors for you, that it was going to take you a while to break that habit...especially when you were tired and not feeling so hot while also being in a new place.

"It's no big deal. I slept out here in case you needed anything anyways. It's what I'm here for."

Your stomach made a noise and then you felt bile rise in your throat. You stiffened.

Jay heard your stomach and noticed your drastic change in posture. "Y/N, what's--"

You covered your mouth and took off running toward the bathroom that was across from your bedroom.

"Shit," Jay muttered and followed you, but a lot slower.

Once you got to the bathroom, you threw the lid of the toilet open and threw yourself to your knees, just in time to empty your stomach.

Jay crouched down next to you. "I'm gonna hold your hair back, okay?"

"Uh huh," you croaked. You knew that if you didn't say yes, Jay wouldn't have held your hair back. In his job, he was trained to go along with the girls' boundaries and to not touch them unless he verbally asked them and got verbal confirmation from you girls that that said physical contact was okay.

Jay gently held your hair back while you continued to retch and spill the contents of your stomach.

"There you go," he soothed. "I'm right here. You're not alone."

When you thought you were done, you reached up and flushed the toilet. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. I'm gonna go wake up Hailey just to tell her what's going on. Feel free to get some water or brush your teeth."

You nodded and he left the bathroom. When you picked up your toothbrush, you realized what had just happened: someone had just comforted you when you were sick. That never happened before.

A tear rolled down your cheek just as Jay came back into the bathroom with Hailey.

"Oh, Y/N," she started as she walked up to you. "How bad does it hurt?"

"No, it doesn't hurt now," you said. "I just, I never had anyone comfort me or hold my hair back when I was sick before."

"Oh, honey," Hailey said as her heart broke. Then, she caught herself. "Is that one fine?" she asked, referring to pet names. She didn't want to trigger you.

"Th-That ones fine," you answered.

"Can I give you a hug?"

"Yeah," you whispered and opened your arms so that you could hug her.

"You're feeling a lot better?" Jay asked and you looked up from hugging Hailey and nodded. "So, no doctor?"

You abruptly pulled away from Hailey and backed away from both the adults. "No, no doctor. Please no doctor. Please," you pleaded.

Jay furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, but Hailey's eyes widened as she realized what he had just said.

"Honey, no, we are not taking you to the doctor, okay?" Hailey began. "We know you're feeling better, but we're just going to give you some Tums in case your stomach starts to hurt again."

"So no doctor?" you asked.

"No doctor," she confirmed.

"Thank you. I think I'm gonna brush my teeth now. My mouth tastes gross."

"Okay. Come out whenever you're ready."

Hailey reached for Jay's hand and led him out of the bathroom. He still had a look of confusion on his face while she grabbed two Tums and set them next to a cup of water for you.

"What does she mean no doctor?" Jay asked in a hushed voice.

"You know she was trafficked by her own parents, right?" Jay nodded, he had to read all the girls files when they got new girls in, but some information was left out because it could still be in the court process, or because it had something to do with family where a parent still had legal custody of the girl or for other reasons. Hailey's voice got even quieter. "A doctor was one who would you know...pay for services, um, regularly."

"So now she doesn't think she can trust any doctor," Jay finished.

"Yeah. She told me a few weeks ago. I think I'm the only one who knows that her doctor had been one of the people assaulting her."

"Now it makes sense that she had to be restrained when we told her she had to go to the doctor's for a check-up three months ago. We all just thought that she didn't want to go, but she was just really scared."

"She was a danger to herself and others," Hailey said. "You did the right thing by using restraints, even if you didn't know the reason she was acting out."

"Still, I wish I would've known. That way maybe we could've eased into talking about it more instead of just telling her she'd be going. And, she actually might've gone to the check-up if we did it that way."

"There was no way you could've known."

"I know, still makes me feel bad." He took a deep, shaky breath. "God, we take it for granted so much that we'll have at least one parent there for us, to hold our hair back and comfort us when we're sick. But, Y/N didn't have anyone, Hailey."

A few tears ran down Jay's face.

"I know," Hailey said and pulled him into a hug. "I know. But, this is what we do. In our jobs, we help these girls. We do this because we want to make the world a better and safer place for these girls, to help break the cycle. Lord knows we don't do it for the money. And, soon we'll be helping her even more. Together. Here. At home."

"You're excited for when the adoption goes through, aren't you, Hails?" Jay asked.

"Yeah, I never wanted kids because, well you know my  past history with my parents, but working with kids in social work and seeing how many of them go through multiple foster homes and other types of homes and then just age out..."

"I know, I know," Jay sympathized. "We talked about this. And you felt drawn to Y/N. I'll be there through it all with you."

"Thank you. I love you, Jay."

"I love you, too, Hails."

You sighed and then made your way into the kitchen. You didn't want to be in trouble.

"Are these the medicine?" you asked, pointing to the table where the Tums and the cup of water were.

"Yes," Hailey answered. "They're dissolvable, but I didn't know how you would like the taste, so I put the water there just in case."

Jay looked at you closely. "Hey, are you okay? Is your stomach hurting again?"

You shook your head and sat down and then took the two tablets and drank a few sips of water after.

"Just ti- tired," your voice cracked halfway through the word, immediately alerting both Jay and Hailey that something was wrong.

Jay crouched down in front of you and Hailey sat down across from you as you let out a wail.

"You're mad, you're mad, you're mad!" you bawled.

"Neither of us is mad," Hailey told you softly.

"Jay's mad! I woke him up!"

"I'm not mad, Y/N, not one bit. You're allowed to wake me and Hailey up whenever you need us or even if you just want some comfort, okay?" Jay asked as his heart broke.

"Who told you that they were mad when you woke them up?" Hailey asked gently. With her job, she knew she needed to ask some tough questions in general, but, specifically with you, she also needed to get more of your history than she already had so that she knew what your triggers were and how to help you with coping skills and other things that were beneficial to your mental health when you moved in with her.

"My parents and my first foster parents," you whispered.

"Okay," Hailey started, "I'm sorry that happened to you. We're sorry that happened to you. And we can promise you that neither of us will hit you or raise our voices at you."

At the mention of you having been hit in your past, Jay looked up at Hailey and she gave him a subtle nod, silently telling you that that had been a part of your past. He knew your parents were unfit because both their parental rights had been terminated, but he didn't know details...and now he was receiving those heartbreaking details from his girlfriend, who you seemed to open up to more than anyone else. Well, more than anyone besides the in-house therapist.

"You promise?" you asked, finally looking up from where you had your eyes trained on the table.

"I promise," said Hailey.

"You have my word," Jay echoed. He paused a few moments to let those promises sink in. "Now, if Hailey's okay with it, I say we watch another movie until you get tired. What do you say, Hails?"

"I think we can make an exception," she agreed.

"Okay, what movie?" Jay asked.

"Can we watch the Jumanji remake?" you asked. "The one with the Rock. I know it's PG-13, but it doesn't seem that bad."

Jay nodded. "Well, if anything triggers you, you just need to tell either me or Hailey so we can help you process it right away, okay?" You nodded. He looked at Hailey. "You good with Jumanji?" he asked with a humorous glint in his eye because he already knew the answer: his girl loved any movie that The Rock was in.

"Jay, you know I love The Rock. You wanna get it set up while I grab Y/N's pillow from her room?"

Jay said okay and the two of you made your way to the living room. Jay moved his pillow over so that he and Hailey could sit on the couch, while you sat on the smaller couch across from them.

Hailey came back with your pillow and a few blankets and you got all set up.

Not even halfway through the movie, you were asleep once again. But this time, your stomach ache was gone and you felt safer and more comfortable than when you had first walked into Hailey's house earlier that day.

***

"Quiet, Hails, she's still out," Jay whispered to his girlfriend as they walked out of their bedroom the next morning.

You were knocked out on the couch after getting sick and anxious last night. And Jay had decided just to go sleep with Hailey last night after everything that had happened because they were both emotionally drained and needed the other's comfort to go to sleep after Hailey had told Jay a part of your story that he hadn't known.

"What does she normally eat for breakfast?" Hailey whispered.

Jay worked a mix of first, second, and third shifts at the home, so he knew what you'd normally eat for breakfast and that after school you needed some time to recharge in your room after being with other kids all day.

"Normally bagels and cream cheese. Sometimes a banana too," Jay whispered back.

"Perfect. I don't have to cook a ton. Want me to start on coffee and then we can just drink it at the table and wait until she wakes up?"

"Sounds good to me. Don't forget her morning meds."

"I know, Jay."

"Just checking."

***

You woke up to see Jay and Hailey sitting at the table drinking something out of mugs, which you assumed was coffee.

You stretched and then got up off the couch. You remembered watching another movie last night, but don't remember finishing it, so you must've fallen asleep there and Jay and Hailey just decided to let you sleep instead of waking you up.

"Good morning," you said as you got up off the couch. "What time is it?"

Jay craned his neck to look at the clock on the oven. "8:45," he answered. "Time for your morning meds, too."

He started to stand up, but Hailey stopped him. "I got it. I need to make sure I have this down, so do you just want to cut up a bagel and pop it in the toaster? There should be chocolate chip ones in the fridge," Hailey told Jay.

"You have chocolate chip bagels?" You asked as a smile broke out on your face. "We don't have chocolate chip ones at the house."

"And, I have regular cream cheese and strawberry cream cheese, so take your pick." She paused. "Your stomach's feeling better though, right? I don't know if I want you eating this stuff if you're just gonna get sick again."

"It's not hurting anymore. I think I just ate too much," you answered. "But if you want me to eat something else—"

"Oh no," Hailey quickly cut you off. "You can eat whatever you want."

Hailey walked over to get the meds ready and Jay cut a chocolate chip bagel in half and popped it in the toaster.

"Hails, you want one?" Jay asked.

"That'd be great. Thanks, ba- Jay." She almost called him babe but didn't know if that would trigger you, so she immediately cut herself off.

"Are you gonna have one, too, Jay?" you asked.

"No, I think I'm gonna make myself some eggs," he answered you while he cut a chocolate chip bagel in half for Hailey.

"He's such a health nut," Hailey laughed as she rolled her eyes. Then, she made her way to the table and handed you a cup with your meds in it and a cup of water. You quickly took the meds and washed all of them down with the water.

"We know," you laughed as you handed the med cup back to Hailey. "He always brings his own meals to the house. And they're always salads or something else really healthy." You wrinkled your nose.

"I know, he's weird," Hailey agreed.

Then, Jay told you that your bagel was done, so you walked over to the counter and used a plastic knife to spread some strawberry cream cheese on it.

Jay's phone buzzed and he groaned. "My brother wants to meet up for lunch today."

"Well, if Y/N's comfortable with it, maybe he'd like to meet us at the bookstore and then we can all go to lunch or just meet us for lunch?" Hailey suggested.

"You're letting me decide?" You had never had this much control over anything in your life.

"Of course," Hailey began, "we want you to be comfortable with whatever you're doing."

You turned to Jay, whose attention was still on you and Hailey while he scrambled his eggs in a pan over the stove. "Is he nice?"

"Oh yeah," Jay said. "He's super nice. His name's Will and I'll even tell him to be on his very best behavior."

"Okay. Can we just have him meet us for lunch?"

"Of course," Jay agreed. "I'll shoot him a text."

***

"What kind of books do you like?" Hailey asked.

You looked up at Jay. "You didn't tell her that?"

"Nope. Some stuff I can keep a secret," he answered with a wink.

Hailey smacked him on the chest. "Jay Halstead. You are the absolute worst."

"But you love me. And you know it." Jay gave her a kiss on the cheek and you burst out laughing. "What?"

"You two. You're just so cute."

"Hear that, Hails? Y/N thinks we're a cute couple."

"Oh, quit your bragging," Hailey said and rolled her eyes. "Anyway, what's your favorite genre?"

"Uh, I really like historical fiction," you answered.

"Alright," Jay started, "towards the historical fiction we go."

"Oh, and if we go to that section, we pass their little cafe," Hailey told you. "You up for a hot chocolate or pastry?" she asked.

"You don't have to get me anything," you said quietly. "You're already getting me books."

"You know what Hails?" Jay said. "I could go for another cup of coffee and then we could drink it while we're walking around."

"That sounds like a great idea. Two coffees and then whatever drink Y/N wants."

"Okay," you relented. "But you guys don't have to keep spending money on me. I don't need much."

"Y/N, look at me," Hailey began and you looked at her, "when I decided I wanted to adopt a kid, I knew I was going to spoil them. And, it just so happened to be you. I know you're scared because everyone's left you, but me and Jay, we're in it for the long haul. You can trust us. Let us spoil you, okay?"

Tears made their way to your eyes. "Okay. Can I- Can I hug you?"

Hailey nodded. "Of course."

And as you hugged Hailey, Jay smiled because that was the first time you had asked for a hug. Before, most people had to ask you, but this time you were asking them and Jay considered that huge progress from when he first met you months and months ago.

***

You sat down next to Hailey at the little diner you decided on for lunch. Jay texted Will and told them they had gotten a table, and he said he'd be there in a few minutes.

You ordered your drinks and then a tall man with red hair and a navy blue jacket with a hospital logo on it walked towards your table. Your breath hitched.

"Hey, it's okay. That's just Will," Hailey explained.

"But- But his jacket says medical on it," you said and clenched your fists and dug your nails into the palms of your hands.

Will sat down.

"Y/N, this is Will, he's my older brother. And, he's also a doctor. But, he's a good one, I promise!" Jay told you quickly.

You swallowed as tears pricked your eyes.

"Y/N," Hailey began gently, "me and Jay wouldn't let you meet him if we didn't think he was 110% safe to be around. I promise you that Will's a good guy."

You looked up at Will to see that he had a goofy smile on his face. "Hey, kiddo."

"H-Hi," you replied quietly.

"So, Jay told me you like historical fiction and that you got hot chocolate. Did you like the hot chocolate? And what's your favorite time period to read about?"

You started talking to Will and you thought that this doctor wasn't so bad...but there was still no way in hell you'd be going to see a doctor for any kind of medical treatment any time soon.

***

Two weeks later

You grabbed all your bags and made your way out to Hailey's car. Then, you turned around and looked at the place you had called home for the past few months. Even though sometimes it didn't feel like home, you knew you were safe there, and with your past, that was what made this place a home in and of itself. You just hoped that Hailey's (and Jay's) place would be as safe as the first night you were there.

Jay was over for dinner and even though he wasn't on the official adoption papers, he went through the same extensive background checks and trainings as Hailey just because she said that he'd be over a lot.

That night, you were asleep. But, somewhere in your sleep-addled brain, you were dreaming. And it wasn't a good dream. It was a dream about your terrible parents and that terrible doctor.

"I don't give a damn!" Jay yelled. He had gone outside to take a phone call from his dad because he didn't want to wake you. But, seeing as you were a light sleeper, those words entered your nightmare.

You whimpered and tried to dodge the slap that came your way in your dream.

Jay quickly hung up the phone when he heard a thud come from inside the house and ran back inside.

You were laying on the floor and had landed with your arm in an awkward position.

You heard the thundering of footsteps coming towards your room.

Shit, you were going to be in trouble for waking Hailey and Jay up.

You scrambled back into bed and took a sip of your water to calm yourself down. But damn, your arm felt like someone had twisted it and stepped on it...much like it had felt three years ago when your dad yanked you back by the arm and twisted it behind you when you tried to run away from that doctor.

Jay slowly opened the door to see you sitting up in bed drinking some water. "Hey," he greeted. "You okay? I thought I heard a thud."

"Uh, I just dropped my water bottle," you told him, trying to hold back tears at how much your arm hurt. "Sorry if I woke you and Hailey up."

"Oh no, I was talking with my dad on the phone," he told you quickly. "You didn't wake us up. Goodnight."

"'Night, Jay."

The minute he walked out of your room, you turned on your side to face the wall and cried until you finally cried yourself to sleep because of the pain.

***

The next day, you tried your best to eat normally and not make a face at how much your arm hurt. But, best believe that when you went to the bathroom or went to change your clothes alone in your room, you cried silently to yourself.

"Hey, it's pretty nice out," Hailey stated when you walked out of your room dressed in jeans and a t-shirt after you had eaten breakfast, washed your face, and brushed your teeth. "Jay suggested a picnic and some baseball at the park nearby. Do you want to do that?"

"That sounds really nice," you said. But, you weren't looking forward to the baseball because you knew that it'd made your arm hurt. But, you didn't want to go to the doctor's either, and the lesser of two evils would be playing baseball with your arm hurting at a level ten.

"Okay, then it's settled. Ham or turkey on your sandwich for the picnic?" Jay asked.

"Ham please," you answered.

***

You played some baseball and gritted through the pain of pitching, catching, and batting and now it was time for lunch.

The three of you were sitting on a picnic blanket on the grassy area outside the baseball diamond. You took the sandwich out of the baggie and Hailey's eyebrows furrowed as she saw the bruising on the inside part of your forearm.

"Y/N, are you okay?" she asked.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" you asked.

"I just see a bruise on your arm. Did you fall earlier when I was running to get a ball and didn't see it?"

"No. I uh, I must've just slept in a weird position last night," you told her. You knew that was a terrible excuse, but that was the only one you had at the moment.

"Okay, well we have ibuprofen at home and we can ice it there, too."

"Okay, thank you." You took another bite of your sandwich.

***

You finished your picnic and then made your way to Jay's truck. You reached up and grabbed the bar to pull yourself up into the truck easier, but cried out when you pulled.

Jay dropped the picnic basket.

"Y/N!" he yelled and ran up to one side of you and Hailey ran up to the other.

You cradled your right arm in your left hand. "It- It's nothing," you said quickly. "I think I just pulled a muscle or something."

"Honey, can I take a look?" Hailey asked.

"I- I don't want to go to the doctor's! Please don't make me go! Please!" you cried.

"Honey, I'm just going to look at it. Then we'll see if we need to go. And, we can always call Jay's brother, Will, and make sure he's the one who treats you. But we don't even know if you need to go to the doctor yet, so please, just let me see your arm."

You reluctantly held your arm out to her. Jay looked, too.

"I think we need to take her in, Hails," Jay said.

You ripped your arm away from Hailey, causing you to scream out in pain. "No! I'm fine!"

"Y/N, you are not fine," Jay said. "Please just let us take you to the doctor's."

"No!" you yelled again.

"Can you tell me why?" Jay asked, employing a tactic he used in the home when girls didn't want to do things. "Maybe make me understand why?"

"He hurt me there!" you yelled. "Every time I went to the doctor, he gave my dad free visits to look at me in exchange for- for--" you wailed and crashed into Hailey's arms.

You gripped her t-shirt tightly with your good hand while you bawled your eyes out.

"Shh, shh, it's okay. It's okay. He's not here. He's in prison. He can't physically hurt you out here, Y/N. And, if we go to the doctor, we'll make sure that it's Will who treats you and we'll be there the whole time," Hailey soothed.

You sniffled and then looked up at her. "You promise you'll be there the entire time?"

"I promise," Hailey confirmed.

You looked at Jay. "You too?"

"You have my word," he agreed.

***

Jay called Will and told him that the three of you would be coming into Chicago Med to look at your arm because he and Hailey thought that you broke it and that they needed Will to treat you because you didn't trust anybody else.

When you walked into the hospital, tears pricked your eyes and you grabbed Hailey's hand with your good one.

"I- I changed my mind," you said quickly. "I don't want to go to the doctor. It'll heal by itself like the other one."

Hailey didn't know what "other one" you were talking about, but she let that part of the sentence go.

"Y/N, honey, we need to make sure you're safe and healthy. And getting you treatment for a broken bone is part of that." She looked at Jay, silently asking him for some help.

"We'll be right there the entire time," Jay promised once again.

"But- But what if you have to leave? I don't wanna be alone in there! I don't!" you cried.

"And you won't. We'll both be there. And if one of us has to leave for whatever reason, then the other will stay. You can trust us. I know it's hard, but I promise you Y/N—me and Hailey both promise you—that you can trust us. We wouldn't have these jobs if you couldn't trust us."

Jay looked up when he heard someone clear their throat. He saw Will standing there.

When you saw Will, this time in hospital scrubs instead of jeans, a t-shirt, and his Chicago Med sweatshirt, you gripped Hailey's hand even tighter.

"Hey, Y/N," Will greeted. "Jay told me you're having problems with your arm? I bet it hurts really bad."

"No, I'm fine," you argued.

"Okay, well..." he paused and moved a hand from behind his back, which was holding a bowl that contained an ice cream sandwich. It was chocolate ice cream squished between two chocolate chip cookies. "I have this ice cream sandwich here for you. Why don't you eat this with your good arm while I take a look at the other one?"

You shyly nodded and let go of Hailey's hand and took the bowl from Will's outstretched hand. "Thank you," you said quietly.

"You're welcome. Now right this way, please."

Will let you into a treatment room and Hailey helped you up on the bed.

"Alright, so Y/N, this is April," Will said as he introduced the nurse who walked in. "She'll be helping me out and taking your vitals."

April would've made a joke about how she'd be doing all the work, but seeing how nervous you were, she didn't."

"But you- you said that Will would be treating me. You promised!" you yelled and looked at Hailey and Jay.

"Y/N, all April's doing is helping Will out. Doctors need help, too," Hailey reassured.

"I'll be really gentle. Okay, sweetie?" April said.

You shoved yourself back into the bed, almost whacking your head on the wall.

"No! No! Don't hurt me! Please, don't!" you yelled.

All four of the adults in the room shared a look.

Hailey cursed. "It was the pet name," she figured out quickly. "One of them must've called her that before."

She knelt down next to the hospital bed, where you were visibly shaking.

"Y/N, I need you to take a few deep breaths with me. In and out," Hailey said.

"I can't! I can't!" you wailed.

"Yes, you can. Just like this." Hailey breathed in and out deeply.

"We can always administer medication if needed," Will suggested.

"Yeah, no," Jay said quickly. "You won't be doing that."

He pulled your emergency inhaler for times like these out of his pocket and pulled it out of the small box. Then he uncapped it and handed it to Hailey.

Once you took two more deep breaths, she held it up to you. "Can you take three puffs for me, Y/N? Just three puffs," she said.

You nodded and put the inhaler to your lips, allowing Hailey to push down on the button, which resulted in you getting some much-needed oxygen into your lungs.

"Better?" Hailey asked when you handed it back to her.

You nodded. "Thanks for having it, Jay."

"You're welcome." He put the inhaler back in the box and then back into his pocket.

Will pulled up a stool and sat on it. Hailey was still right in front of you, but Will was next to her and looking directly at you.

"Y/N, what April's gonna do is just listen to your heart and lungs with a stethoscope just like I have." He touched the stethoscope that was dangling from around his neck. "And then she's going to take your blood pressure by wrapping that around your good arm and squeezing the red thing." He pointed to the blood pressure cuff that was hanging in the room. "And then, I'll take a look at your arm. While she does that, I'll go grab you another ice cream sandwich because I'm pretty sure the other one is melted. Does that sound okay?"

You nodded, thankful that Will was explaining everything to you.

***

Fifteen minutes later, Will was back with your ice cream sandwich. He apologized for taking so long and said he had to argue with a cafeteria worker to make sure he got chocolate ice cream and not vanilla ice cream on it. But, he got it, so that's all that mattered.

He handed you the bowl and you took the ice cream sandwich out with your good hand and took a bite.

"How is it?" Will asked with a smile.

"It's really, really good. Thank you," you answered and took another bite.

"Good. Now, can you try and hold your arm out me?"

You hissed as you straightened your arm to hold it out to him.

"No, no," Will said quickly. "If it hurts to straighten all the way, don't do it." You nodded. "I'm just going to hold your arm with one of my hands and feel around it. Tell me where the most pain is. Do you want some pain medication?"

"No, no needles," you said. "Last time it made me sleep and then I couldn't feel my body."

If Will wasn't working he would've froze because he knew what you were talking about. Jay did, too, and Hailey squeezed his hand to silently tell him to stay calm.

That doctor who had previously assaulted you had drugged you with Rohypnol.

"We can give it to you in pill form," Will suggested. "Is that okay?" You nodded and Will turned to Jay. "What medications is she on?"

Jay rattled off the list of medications and then Will said something to April and then she handed you three pills and a cup of water. You took them.

"They should start to work in fifteen minutes," April told you.

You nodded and then yelped when Will gently pressed down on the inside of your forearm. "Right there?" he asked.

"Mhm," you gritted out as tears came to your eyes again.

"Well, the good news is, we're gonna get an x-ray and you won't have to have me push on your arm anymore," Will told you. You nodded. "Can you tell me how this happened?"

You looked up at Jay. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you." Jay furrowed his eyebrows. "I fell out of bed because of a- because of a nightmare. I told you it was my water bottle. I'm sorry!"

"Hey, hey, it's okay," Jay soothed quickly. "But can I ask why you didn't want to tell me?"

"I didn't want to see a doctor. And I thought you'd be mad and bring me back to the home."

"Oh, honey," Hailey interjected. "We'd never do that. You're my kid forever now."

"Yours, too?" you asked looking at Jay once more.

"You're not mine on paper, but I promise you that I'll keep you safe," he answered.

"But can I be your kid? Eventually?" You asked.

Hailey put her arm around Jay's waist. "You know what, babe? I think getting you to adopt her, too would be great. What do you say?"

"I'd love nothing more," he said with a huge grin on his face.

"Hate to break up this little moment," Will began, "but we gotta get her down for x-rays. Based on where it is, I think she broke her ulna."

April stepped forward. "If you'd follow me, that'd be great."

You looked at Hailey and Jay. "Will you guys come, too?"

Jay looked at his older brother, who gave him and Hailey a slight nod.

"Of course we will, honey," Hailey said.

"Because you said you'd be with me the entire time and because you said you'd keep me safe?" you asked as Hailey helped you down.

"Precisely, kiddo, precisely," Jay said.

And for the first time in your fifteen years of life, you finally found a home that you felt safe in, all thanks to Hailey and Jay.

A/N: Again, I changed a bit of this because some people were a bit confused and, I figured if I modeled the home after Brady, you guys would have a better time imagining it. Anyway, thank you guys so, so much for reading! Remember to like/reblog and comment if you haven't already! Next up, royalty AU part 2! Again, I am donating all my proceeds on buy me a coffee until the end of AU-gust to Save The Children to help the children in Afghanistan. Buy me a coffee here.

As always, if you want to be added to my taglist, just tell me and I’d be happy to add you!

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[laurensprentiss]

Jouska [Hotch x Reader]

Chapter 17:

Warnings: None, really. Mentions of painkillers, more fluff. Emily Easter egg. HUGE plot twist at the end... this is the beginning of the end for these two. Sorry!

———

Virginian weather is notoriously unpredictable.

It’s why you get stuck in a downpour by the time you get back to your apartment. Hotch opens the car door for you and as you attempt to run inside, he pulls you in close by your arms, huddling close to you as the rain hits your skin.

You shriek over the sound of the thunder. “What are you doing?! It’s pouring down, let’s go!” You tell him, fighting to keep your eyes open.

“Do you remember the day we moved you back into your apartment?” He asks over the sound of rain. You pull away, attempting to go inside but he holds you close. “Do you remember?”

“Yeah, why?”

“It was raining like this on that day, too. Do you remember?”

You laugh. “Yes! Can we go inside now?”

His eyes soften. “I remember looking down at you from that window,” he points upstairs. “And thinking you were so beautiful. I knew even then that you were going to be a massive part of my life.”

You blink at him through the rain, heart warming at his sincere words.

He wipes the water from your cheeks and pulls you in for a kiss, and as soon as his lips touch yours, you forget all about the way your clothes stick to your skin and how uncomfortably cold you are. He ignites more than enough warmth within you. His kisses are slow, deliberate, and you can’t help but reach for his shoulders to keep you steady.

His forehead touches yours when he breaks the kiss.

“What was that for?” You ask.

Because I love you.

He shrugs. “What? I can’t kiss my girl?”

Your breath hitches.

His girl?

The tone in his voice makes your heart flutter. Makes it easy to see yourself falling even deeper for him, to see something worth having with him. You know in your soul that this moment, here and now, is one you’ll carry for the rest of your life.

———

He promises he’ll call you from work as he leaves, finding it impossible to tear himself away from you.

His forehead rests against yours and he holds you flush to him, arms around your waist when he mumbles, “I wish I didn’t have to work. But Barnes says he needs to discuss something with me.”

He’s still reeling from his earlier realisation, the prospect of telling you just how much he feels for you is terrifying and exhilarating in equal measures.

Because maybe, just maybe, you feel the same.

You interrupt his thoughts. “It’s okay, really! I have to go see Em anyway, she got discharged today so I thought I’d bring her some lunch.”

“Sure?”

“I’m sure.” You reply.

He hums, snaking his arms around your waist. “Tomorrow night,” He begins, kissing your neck. “I am going to take you on a real date.”

“Oh yeah?” You reply, wrapping your arms around his neck, carding your fingers through the hair on the back of his head.

“Mhm. 8pm.” He continues, travelling up towards your earlobe. “Flowers, nice restaurant, dinner, drinks. The works.”

“And why would you do that?” You chuckle.

Because he’s fast coming to realize that he can’t not tell you how he feels anymore.

He allows himself the grace of knowing that maybe you’ll need more time to reciprocate the extent of his feelings, but he’s okay with that. As long as he gets to say the words that have been heavy on his chest for a long time.

“Because you deserve nothing but the best. This feels special.” It feels like the beginning of the rest of his life, he thinks. “I wanna do this right.”

Your heart flutters. “Then let’s do this right.” You reply with a small smile.

You tilt his head to capture his lips between yours, his lips soft and warm, the two of you seemingly falling into a quick rhythm. His hands travel down your back to grab a handful of your ass as he deepens the kiss, his tongue licking into your mouth.

You already know where this is going with the telltale pool of warmth in your belly. He swallows your whimpers as you push him off you gently, the both of you panting a little for breath.

He chuckles breathlessly against your lips, eyes still closed. “I’m gonna go before-”

“-Yeah.”

The door is almost closed behind him before he pulls you back to him, planting another tender kiss against your lips before taking off.

You’re left bewildered, the ghost touch of his lips on yours still lingering. You giggle to yourself, hating the noise you just made but you can’t even find it in you to care.

You pack up lunch into a Tupperware, stop off at a french bakery to pick up some fresh bread and Emily’s favourite macarons before making the drive to Ambassador Prentiss’ estate.

You enter through the North entrance, bidding a quick hello to Tom, the on duty guard. You knock on Emily’s door, entering anyway when there’s no reply. There’s wincing coming from her bathroom so you drop the bags on the ottoman beside her bed and rush in to where she’s trying to adjust her sling.

“Here, let me help.” You pull the strap taught against her.

She sighs in relief. “Thanks. I just couldn’t reach it.”

“How do you feel?” You ask, leading her to sit on her bed. Her bruises are still angry and blue, but the split lip seems to be healing and her eye’s opening a little better now.

“Been better. The painkillers are wearing off though, stuff’s good.” She laments.

“Yeah, tell me about it.” You mutter, handing her a sandwich and some soup once she’s situated. Her face lights up when she sees the macarons you put on her vanity. “You take your other meds?”

“No.”

You look around her bedroom for the bottles when she motions over to her nightstand. “How about you? How do you feel?” She asks, taking the pills and some water from you.

“Still sore, I guess.” You take a seat opposite her on her bed, crossing your legs on her comforter. “These bruises aren’t going away though.” You peer at yourself through the mirror, tracing the handprints on your neck.

She watches you expectantly.

“...What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

She takes a bite of her sandwich with her good hand, and mumbles through her food, “I’m sorry, I guess I just don’t know why you’re traipsing through here acting like you didn't just sleep with your bodyguard.”

You flinch. “Lower your voice! If your mother hears, I swear to God…”

“She’s in the South wing - in her office. Spill.”

“Spill what? Where do I start?”

“Oh shut up, I can tell you’re dying to tell me! How did it happen?”

You concede and shuffle in closer, “Well. He dropped me off home and I guess we were both just waiting for the other to say something - but neither of us did.”

“So how did you end up-”

“Don’t interrupt.” She holds her hands up defensively. “He hugged me goodbye and left but I caught him as he was leaving in the hallway. I told him I didn’t want him to leave.”

She clutches her chest. “Then what?”

“I don’t know... next thing I know he’s kissing me and… well, you know the rest.” You tell her coyly.

She narrows her eyes. “How was he?”

“Honestly?” She nods excitedly. “Amazing.” You breathe. “Literally the best I’ve ever had, you don’t understand Em, his hands?”

Her eyes widen in glee. “Stop it!”

You continue talking while you eat lunch together, realising it’s the first time you’ve talked without a looming threat since she returned from Rome. You feel the lightest you’ve felt in a long time, hopeful even.

Your mind wanders to Hotch.

Being in his arms feels safe, it always has. From the day you met, he’s been by your side, been the person who had your back through the worst year of your life.

And now you had him.

You actually had him.

Emily notices the faraway, blissful look on your face. Thinks she hasn’t ever seen you like this. You were kidnapped almost a week ago and she almost died but you still look the happiest she’s seen you in years.

Her room telephone rings then, and when she sees the number, she rolls her eyes. “Yes Mother?” She asks bluntly. “No, Mother, I haven’t. We’re having lunch... Yes she’s here.” Your ears perk up. “... No, I haven’t asked her yet… Yes! Okay fine, I will. Goodbye.”

Your ears perk up, “What do you need to ask me?”

She sighs. “Well… Mother has an assignment in Rome. She’s flying out tomorrow morning - and I’m going with her.”

Your heart sinks. “Do you have to go? It’s so nice having you back, I thought maybe you’d stick around for a while.”

“I don’t have to go. But I want to.” She winces as she climbs on top of her bed again. “Since the accident, she’s been a lot less ‘Ambassador Prentiss’ and a lot more ‘Mom.’ I think she may want to make up for the last time and maybe it’ll be different now.”

“Hey.” You grab her hand to stop her picking her cuticles raw. “What happened in Rome? I was busy with school and everything but I remember things were never really the same after that.”

She sighs. “Another day. I promise. But I think I’d like to recuperate there, maybe travel for a couple of months before I figure out my next steps.” You see the hope in her eyes. “Mother and I would love it if you joined us - that’s what I needed to ask.”

“Wow.” You breathe. “That’s a lot to take in. I’m happy for you and your mom, I mean I’m sorry it took a near-death accident, but I’m happy for you.” She scoffs as you squeeze her hand. “And I’d love to come with you, I really would. I loved Italy as a child but - I think I have some things to work out here.”

She grins. “Yeah? Like what?”

“Like a date tomorrow night.”

“That’s amazing, love. I’m happy for you, you know? You deserve this.” She cradles your face. “But if you do change your mind, we’re flying out of this airfield at 9am.” She scribbles some details on a notepad and tucks the paper into your pocket. “Just in case.”

———

“Hey, sweetheart, sorry I didn’t call. Can you meet me at my place in an hour? I have some great news.” You peer at your phone, the screen obscured by the fast emerging sunlight after the earlier thunderstorm.

You place a hand over the screen to block some light out when a hand taps you on the shoulder.

It’s base instinct at this point, a year-long stalker will do that to you, but you gasp and drop your phone behind you. Before you’ve had a chance to retrieve it, a woman outstretches her hand with your phone in it.

“Sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you,” the blonde explains defensively. You get a better look at her. She looks wide-eyed and a little skittish, but she seems nice enough.

“That’s alright - thanks.” You reply, taking your phone from her. “Do I know you?”

She wrings her hands nervously. “No, I don’t think so. But I know you, I saw you on the news and in the papers. I was wondering if we could talk.”

You pull your bag further up your shoulders. “What are you? A reporter or something?”

“No! No, no. I’m actually - you know Aaron right?”

You frown. “Yeah?”

She stumbles over her words like she’s unsure of what to say. She takes a moment and you can see the gears turning in her head as she formulates the words in her head.

“I’m Haley.”

———

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#aaron hotchner #hotch #hotch x reader #hotch x you #hotch x y/n #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotchner x y/n #hotch smut #hotch fluff #cm fanfic #cm fic #cm fic rec #criminal minds

[interstellarflare]

He’s So Jealous || Chicago Fire/MED/PD Preferences

Author’s Note: All gifs belong to their original creators: @owenelliot @thompsonconnors @lonewolfmeri @lorybest​ @chicagofireadventures​ @alberto-rosende​ @justmefawning​

Connor Rhodes

A new Doctor had recently transferred to the MED, and Sharon had asked you to show him around. Dr. Ian Blake was smart, kind, and an overall nice person. He listened to everything you said, memorised where all of the different departments and wards were, and was very obviously doing this just to gain your attention, and to blatantly flirt with you in front of your colleagues. Connor was furious. Yes, the two of you had only been in this relationship for a short while, but seeing someone else flirt with you caused a wave of unbelievable anger to surge into his chest. Throughout the entire day, Connor kept telling himself that it meant nothing, that you weren’t interested in this new guy. But when he overheard Dr. Ian ask you out for coffee, he couldn’t take it anymore. He stormed into the break room, not saying a word as he angrily took your hand in his own and dragged you away to a vacant storage room, where he then kissed you passionately. Connor wasn’t one to complain, but when you pulled away from him and lightly pushed him away, he couldn’t help but pout. “What are you doing?” You questioned, raising an eyebrow in wait for his response. Connor shrugged “I’m trying out something new-” “Oh my god, you’re jealous of Dr. Ian!” You exclaimed, laughing to yourself quietly as Connor folded his arms over his chest. “I heard him ask you out for coffee, and I just...I don’t know, it was stupid”. You smiled at his childish pout, before reaching up to cup his face in your hands “Connor, you know I was going to say no before you pulled me away right?” You told him, standing up on your tip-toes and placing a kiss to his brow “Now come on, I’ll make it up to you after work. Tonight, at Molly’s?”. Connor nodded, smiling to himself as you disappeared from the storage room. 

Will Halstead

Will wasn’t usually the type of person to get jealous. But when he did, he became distant, mumbling short responses to long statements or questions. You had been visiting the ED a lot lately, whether it was to meet Maggie, April or Natalie for lunch, or it was to see him and drop off something you had baked early in the morning. But a few times now, every time you had walked into the ED, Connor had been there to meet you. At first you thought it was strange, but then you thought nothing of it as Connor always directed you to wherever Will was, stopping to have a conversation with you on the way. Will began to notice your interactions with Connor, and for some reason, he began to doubt himself. One particular morning, you entered the ED with a bright smile on your face, the smile widening when you spotted Will talking to April. April waved you over, whilst Will suddenly became very engrossed in his work. You couldn’t help but feel hurt by his actions, but brushed it off as you approached, “Hey...” You greeted happily “are we still on for dinner tonight?”. When Will didn’t respond immediately, you knew something was wrong. “Uh yeah, sure...excuse me” he mumbled, stepping around you and disappearing into Trauma 3. You stood bewildered, trying to ignore the painful tugging in your chest. “What the hell was that?” You asked April, who merely shrugged her shoulders “I don’t know, but I did hear him say something to Natalie this morning about you. I didn’t hear what it was but you could try asking her”. So you did, and you couldn’t help but feel guilty. Will was jealous of your friendship with Connor. He thought that maybe he wasn’t good enough for you, and you felt horrible. You wanted to talk to him, and try to make him understand that he was enough, that you cared about him. But every time you tried to approach him, he disappeared into a restricted section, or he went to tend to a patient. So, you thought that maybe you could get through to him some other way, and a brilliant idea formed. When Will finished his shift, he walked into the break room to retrieve some paperwork he had left there earlier when he spotted something familiar. It was a beautiful vanilla cake with buttercream icing. Specifically, your vanilla cake with buttercream icing. His favourite. Beside the cake was a letter, written in your delicate handwriting explaining everything. You apologised, telling him that you didn’t mean to make him jealous, and that if he still wanted to come over for dinner, he was welcome to. He headed to your apartment as soon as he left the MED.

Ethan Choi

It was just a regular coffee date. You and Ethan had decided to meet up at the same cafe where he ran into you that day after Ethan finished an overnight shift. Even though he was tired, there was no force on earth that could stop him from seeing you. After ordering your regular and making your way to a window-side booth, it was then that you noticed black marker scribbled on the side of your cup. Curiously, you turned the cup to examine it closer, and blushed nervously as you immediately turned it away from you. “What is it?” Ethan asked, tilting his head to the side in wait for your response. You shook you head, releasing a small huff “It’s nothing, they just got my order wrong that’s all”. Not at all liking your answer, Ethan examined the styrofoam cup himself and couldn’t help the jealousy building in his chest. The barista behind the counter had written his name and number on your cup, with a small winky face drawn at the side. When Ethan huffed angrily, you winced. “It’s okay...” You tried to reason “he’s looks like he’s in his twenties. And besides, I’m sitting with you and not him”. His jaw clenched, his eyes not leaving your coffee cup. “Is he looking this way?” he asked, causing your eyebrows to furrow “Yes, why?”. In one swift movement, Ethan moved into the seat beside you, placing a long and lingering kiss to your cheek before wrapping his arm around your shoulder. Pulling you into his side, it was then that Ethan’s eyes met the barista’s, who’s brown hues widened in shock, realisation and fear. When the poor boy disappeared, scurrying into the back of the cafe, you rolled your eyes and leaned your head against Ethan’s shoulder. “You can be a real arse, you know that right?”. Ethan hummed, kissing the top of your head “Tell me something I don’t know, but no one messes with you”.

Kelly Severide

Just as your relationship with Kelly was starting to get back on its feet, the world had decided to throw you a curveball. You had been tending to a patient who had come in last week, who fell from a great height and managed to break two vertebrae in his lower back. Every chance he got, he flirted with you non-stop, to the point where it was getting on your nerves. His pick-up lines were crude, they weren’t romantic at all, and you wanted nothing more than for him to get better as soon as possible. One such shift, Kelly entered the ED and ran into Maggie, explaining that he was here to take you out to lunch. “Before you do that, you might wanna rescue your girl first...” she teased, handing a clipboard off to Ethan who walked past “her patient’s been hitting on her every single visit, and I have a bad feeling that she’s going to snap any second now”. Without wasting a second, Maggie pointed him in the direction of Trauma 3, where Kelly spotted you talking to your patient with your arms folded over your chest. “I’m sorry, but I’m not interested in going out with you” Kelly heard you say, to which your patient rolled his eyes. Now Kelly wasn’t usually the jealous type, he was more protective. He was the type that wanted everybody else to know that you were his girlfriend. Before your patient could make another snide comment, Kelly decided that enough was enough. He knocked on the glass pane of the door, smiling brightly as you turned to face him. Your shoulders sagged with relief, a long sigh escaping you. “Kelly, thank god...” you spoke loudly, watching as he entered the ward with his hands tucked innocently into the pockets of his jeans. “I just came off a call, and I thought to myself, why not take the woman I love out to a beautiful lunch...” he began, now wrapping his arm protectively around your waist and pulling you into his side. You knew what he was doing, and you couldn’t help but smirk out of knowing and embarrassment. “I’m sorry, who are you?” Your patient interrupted obnoxiously, his glare zeroing in on Kelly. But before you could respond, Kelly’s arm around your waist tightened “I’m Kelly, and she’s taken”. An embarrassed blush formed on your patient’s cheeks, as his gaze suddenly found every inch of the trauma room very intriguing. You laughed, looking up at the man beside you with a smile “Come on, I have about five more minutes and then I’ll meet you out front, okay?”. Kelly nodded, placing a kiss to your temple in good measure and disappeared from the ED, waving to Maggie triumphantly as he passed.

Matthew Casey

If Matt was jealous, he did a good job at hiding it. But sometimes, he would slip up, meaning that his jealousy was out in the open for you to see. He tried not to be irked by the guy in the corner booth, who was practically eyeing you up and down. But he just couldn’t, and you could tell that Matt was struggling. You knew that the guy had been staring at you since you walked in. To be honest, it kind of creeped you out, but you found it adorable that Matt was trying so hard not to do anything he would likely regret later. In the two months the two two of you had been dating, you knew Matt wasn’t one to openly display his jealousy. Placing your hand on top of his from across the table, you met Matt’s gaze with a warm smile “Did you want to go somewhere else? I really don’t mind if we do”. Matt shook his head “No, no it’s okay, I’ll just keep pretending that it doesn’t bother me, and we’ll have a good day”. You laughed, rolling your eyes as you stood up from your seat, swinging your bag over your shoulder before urging Matt to stand. He did so with a a confused expression, smiling faintly as you stood in your tip-toes to reach him. But his smile grew as you placed your lips against his in a soft and slow kiss. The cafe was fairly busy, so no one was really taking notice of this affectionate display. All except the guy at the corner booth, who’s gaze now focused on the constantly moving world outside. When you pulled away, you smiled brightly “Come on, we’ll have coffee at my place”. Matt chuckled, nodding his head in agreement “I’d like that very much”.

Blake Gallo

A patient you had saved from an overturned car had been coming to see you every single day for the past two weeks. For the first couple of days, you thought it was really sweet. But when he constantly tried to ask you out, that was when you began to grow annoyed. One particular day, you had been working on Truck 81. Herrmann had broken something before blaming it on Cruz, and no one really wanted to fix it. So here you were. And at the same time every single day, your former patient arrived. But while you were oblivious to his arrival, a certain young firefighter was. Blake couldn’t stand the guy, and boy did everyone know it except you. As you lay beneath Truck 81, Blake made his move as the guy approached, under pressure now as Matt, Kelly, Herrmann and Mouch watched on with interest. “Hey, you here to see Y/n again?” He asked casually, to which the guy nodded “Yeah, is she around today?”. Blake shook his head, “Listen uh, I’m just telling you now because Y/n’s too nice to tell you this herself, but she kinda has a boyfriend”. He hated how amazing he felt when the guys face fell slightly, but he was completely oblivious to the fact that you were leaning against the 81 out of sight, arms folded over your chest in amusement as Blake said goodbye to your pursuer. When Blake turned to make his way back inside, he froze. There you were, a smug smirk on your face as you tilted your head to the side. “So, who’s this mysterious boyfriend of mine you mentioned, hm?” you asked, biting your lip in wait for his answer. Laughing awkwardly, Blake was lost for words. He looked anywhere but at you, before walking away and disappearing into the firehouse with his head down. You rolled your eyes and shook your head as Cruz appeared by your side. “You know that mysterious boyfriend is him, right?”. Your cheeks flushed a deep red, before you returned to the much needed maintenance on Truck 81.

Jay Halstead

A new med student had been enrolled at the MED, and it was your responsibility to show him around the hospital. He was to be present when you took care of a patient, so he could learn from you and get a grasp on what life was like at the hospital. The only downside was that every time Will left the room after making sure the two of you were capable of performing a task on your own, he would flirt with you. Relentlessly. Your shift was almost finished for the day, and you were looking forward to the moment when Jay walked through the ED doors, where he would then sweep you off your feet and into a romantic evening of chilling at your apartment with pizza and wine. But until then, you were stuck with Clay. He followed you around like a lost puppy, even when he had nothing else to do. “Come on Y/n, just one date...” he spoke cooly, stepping in front of you and almost making you run into his chest “I promise I’ll make it worth your while”. Trying not to visibly cringe, you stepped around him and continued on “I’m sorry, but I’ve told you before I have a boyfriend, so please can you stop asking” you pleaded, walking past Maggie’s station and placing a clipboard before her. Before Clay could respond, the doors to the ED opened to reveal the younger Halstead. When his eyes met yours, he smiled, and you raced over before wrapping your arms around him. “Wow, hey. Not even a ‘hello’?” he asked jokingly, laughing as you pulled away from him with an awkward smile. When his gaze moved behind you to Maggie, who was in turn pointing to the med student at her desk, Jay put two and two together. So this was the guy you had mentioned. You had told him about Clay about a week ago, but at that point his advancements towards you had been harmless flirtations. But now, his plans had obviously changed. “Come on, let’s just go-” “Hang on...” Jay whispered, his eyes meeting yours with a smirk “do you want him to leave you alone?” he asked with a slight wink. Your eyes widened “Whatever you have planned Halstead, you better not-” Jay suddenly stepped forward, looping his arm around your waist and pulling you against him as he kissed you deeply. You smiled against his lips, pulling away with a light laugh. Jay grinned “Now we can go” he mused happily, waving goodbye to Maggie as you both left the MED with now sign of Clay anywhere. 

#kelly severide x reader #kelly severide #kelly severide imagine #chicago fire x reader #chicago fire #chicago fire imagine #taylor kinney #matthew casey x reader #matthew casey #matthew casey imagine #jesse spencer #blake gallo x reader #blake gallo #blake gallo imagine #alberto rosende #chicago med x reader #chicago med #chicago med imagine #connor rhodes x reader #connor rhodes #connor rhodes imagine #colin donnell #will halstead x reader #will halstead #will halstead imagine #nick gehlfuss #ethan choi x reader #ethan choi #ethan choi imagine #brian tee

[vintagedolan]

mixtape - track eleven

| masterlist | faceclaims | playlist |

I was hiding from myself too. I was hiding from the part of my brain that was like ‘what are you gonna do now?’. Like, there’s a part of your brain that does thrive off of feeling like shit.

The voice shifted, just for a moment. 

Yea-

It was a tiny sound in the back, from behind the camera. It didn’t even form a full word before Ethan continued talking, but Indy flinched anyway. It was always worse when she was unprepared for it. 

In her distraction, she’d streaked her concealer too far past her eye and sighed, using her finger to pat it in, ignoring the way it splotched. It probably wasn’t the right shade, and it was definitely expired, but it was enough for her to look like maybe she had slept in the last two weeks. 

She hadn’t. Not really. Every time she closed her eyes, even to blink, he was there. Sometimes, she welcomed it. But in that moment, standing in her mirror in her scrubs, she didn’t want to see his face. She didn’t want to hear his voice. Because she had to keep it together for 16 hours. 12 hours at the hospital on the peds floor, and another 4 at her shift at Jet’s afterward. So she kept her eyes open, took a deep breath, and walked out of her bathroom.

On the other side of the country, Grayson’s eyes were closed.

He wasn’t sleeping. It was 4 in the afternoon, which was the earliest time he could consider himself done with work for the day and escape to his bedroom, closing the door behind him. It only got down to the high forties in LA, even in January, but he climbed under his comforter anyways, pulled his baby blanket up by his face. 

Time seemed to crawl by while he lay there alone. He rolled to his side, pulling his pillow down to wrap his arms around it, and when he opened his eyes, he wished he hadn’t. On his nightstand, turned towards him, was the frame that Indy had gotten him for Christmas. He wished she hadn’t curled up so much when he’d taken it. He wished he could see her face more in the glossy material, wished she had given him a picture of just her instead. When he squeezed his eyes shut again he could see her face better, every feature committed to memory. So he looked. He focused on the different shades of blue in her eyes and pretended like she was in class, and that he was on her couch waiting for her to come home. 

A knock sounded on his door, and his heart tightened. 

Ethan stepped in the room with a bag of Monty’s and a hopeful smile. 

Grayson didn’t move.

“I brought you dinner.”

Nothing.

Ethan sighed, dropping the act. He was giving up on it earlier and earlier these days.

“Bro, you’ve gotta eat. You didn’t eat lunch.”

“Not hungry.”

“Bullshit.”

“I’m not.”

“Well, tough shit then, cause I’m not leaving you alone until you eat at least some of this.” 

Grayson knew his brother, better than he knew himself sometimes, and he could tell by his tone that he was serious. He didn’t have the energy for a fight, and despite himself, his stomach growled at the smell of the fries in the bag, salty and warm. So he sat up begrudgingly and let Ethan pass him the bag, pretending not to see how his shoulders slumped in relief. 

He didn’t have to ask why Ethan stayed. It was to make sure he didn’t sit the bag down as soon as he closed the door behind him. So he waited, and he watched his brother eat his burger slower than usual, fighting to chew it and force it down.

“Where’s yours?” He asked eventually - he knew better than to think that Ethan hadn’t gotten himself a burger. 

“I uh… I ate with Eden.”

Grayson stopped chewing. His question was blatant in his eyes, and he waited for the answer.

“No, I didn’t fucking tell her,” Ethan grumbled, running his hand over his face. “But I don’t know how much longer I can do this, I feel like I’m fucking lying to her.”

“Did she ask about… her?” He caught himself. He hadn’t said her name since they left New York. 

“Not yet. She knows something is up with you though, and if she starts asking questions I’m telling her.”

“No.” It wasn’t a plea. It was a demand. 

“Grayson. She’s gonna find out eventually, I gotta tell her.”

“No. Twin code.”

“Don’t pull that shit man, c’mon, we aren’t six anymore. That’s my wife, and she’s gonna be pissed as fuck at me. If you don’t tell her, I’m gonna have to.”

Grayson stayed quiet and put the rest of his burger back in the bag, his small appetite fading to nausea at the thought of having to admit to anyone else what he had done. He hadn’t had to explain it yet - Ethan knew enough to put the pieces together, and he had enough heart to stay quiet on the plane, just passing over his napkin from his drink as an extra tissue while Grayson looked out the window and cried quietly. But he wasn’t going to tell Eden - he wasn’t ready for that.

Ethan sighed. “I’m just saying Gray, she’s gonna start asking me questions, and I’m not gonna lie to her, that’s not me. That’s not either of us.” He paused, hoping for a response he knew he wasn’t going to get. “Whatever. We have a meeting at 10 tomorrow.”

Ethan left the room in silence, and Grayson closed his eyes.

Indy’s struggled to keep hers open. It was almost 4 am the worst hours of her shift. She poured another cup of coffee from the nurses’ lounge, ignoring the fact that it was burnt as she sipped it down and willed herself to wake up. Part of her wished it was iced - warm drinks made her sleepy, and worse, reminded her of cold New Jersey mornings that she couldn’t afford to think of. Just the idea of reminiscing made her chest tighten enough for her to suck in a breath and start to search for a distraction. She read the schedule instead, checking to see what tech would replace her come 7 am. She still had two vital checks to do on each patient, opting to do them on the even hours. Her head tipped back as she drained the rest of her cup and tossed it in the trash, needing to keep her mind busy.

It wasn’t her job - only nurses could distribute meds, but she could prep the trays for the kids to make their lives easier. So she moved to the med cart and started to look through. 

“Adams, Adrian, Bellon, Campbell, Cortez, Jenkins, Kimp, Lopez, Mullins, Norton.” Her fingers stopped for a moment as she traced down the last names on the cart, mumbling them out. No Newcomb. She double-checked. Nothing.

Bekah didn’t have a tray. 

Indy’s heart sped up a bit, and she waited until she saw Ayria, one of the night shift nurses, coming out of a room.

“Hey, do you need me to get Newcomb a tray? Hers isn’t on here.” It felt weird to refer to Bekah by her last name, but she didn’t want to seem unprofessional.

Ayria frowned, coming to log into the computer on the med cart and check the charts. 

“Oh yeah, everything she’s getting is IV right now, no pills.”

Indy took a breath and steadied herself, glad to see that the clock had turned and she was able to make her rounds. She’d become an expert at taking vitals without waking the kids up - even some of the more seasoned nurses were impressed.

But she could never get past Beks.

The first day, during Indy’s orientation, Bekah could tell something was wrong. It was only three days after Grayson had left after all. Indiana knew that the floor needed a tech, and she knew they’d take her as soon as she asked. She also knew that if she let herself stay at home that she’d never leave it again. So she went and bought the cheapest scrubs she could find and mustered up enough energy to show up. 

She didn’t really need Ayria to show her around that day. She knew the unit inside and out from her time as a volunteer; she just needed the codes for the supply rooms and a list of her tasks for her 12-hour shift. But she was glad that they were together when they went into Bekah’s room because Bekah was kind enough not to say anything with someone else there. Now, she didn’t hold back.

“You look like shit,” she said as soon as Indy walked in.

“It’s 4 am, you should be asleep,” Indy countered with a smirk. The incident on Christmas was forgiven without a second thought, and she was relieved to be back to their normal banter as she put her blood pressure cuff on. 

“You should be asleep. This is your last shift of the week though.”

“Says who?”

“You’ve been here three days already, that’s the max you can work without overtime.” 

Indy kept quiet and wrote down her blood pressure in the chart. 

“Are you okay?” Bekah asked quietly, and Indy sucked in a deep breath, trying to stop the tears flooding her eyes.

“I’m fine Beks. Promise.”

Bekah contemplated if she should say it.

“Is it Grayson?”

Indy’s breath caught in her throat. Her hands shook as she held up the thermometer, and she had to blink hard to be able to read the numbers and scribble them down. 

Bekah took her silence as an answer. 

“Sorry. I know it must be hard, having him so far away,” she murmured. Indy couldn’t find her voice to tell her that it was okay. She fiddled with her blankets, tucking her in nicely and dimming her lights down to give her time to clear the knot in her throat.

“Get some sleep Beks.”

She held it together until she got outside her room, and then the tears escaped. As quickly as she could, she ducked her head and beelined for the nurses’ desk, using her oldest trick of drinking water to keep herself from fully breaking down. 

Valentina sat at her desk and watched with a frown, but she didn’t say anything. 

Indy gave herself one minute, and then she took a deep breath and got back to work. 

Time crawled, and she cursed herself for not leaving enough things to keep her busy for the rest of her shift. By 6 am, she’d resorted to cleaning the tables in the break room and reorganizing supplies in the supply closet to keep herself occupied. She knew the day shift nurses would appreciate the extra effort - they always sung her praises, thrilled to work a shift after her considering how well she set it up for them. 

Valentina came into the supply closet at 6:30.

“You might just work our daytime tech out of a job,” she said, making Indy jump and drop the bandages she was restocking.

“You scared me,” she said, catching her breath. “Just restocking.”

“You work too hard,” Valentina shook her head, crossing her arms. “You’re gonna burn yourself out sweetheart, and we need you around here.”

“I’ll be alright.”

“You act like I don’t know you’re going to your other job right after this.”

“They give me good coffee there, what can I say,” Indy teased, but when she looked Valentina’s eyes were sad. “I like to keep busy.” 

“Too busy,” she tsked. “You leave at 6:50 today.”

“Valentina-”

“Keep talking and I’ll make it 6:40,” she threatened. “And you get some sleep later, you hear me?”

“Yes ma’am,” Indy conceded, knowing it wasn’t an argument she could win. Nurses weren’t the type to lose an argument, and she’d never met a more nurse-y nurse than Valentina. She finished stocking quickly, gathering her bags and double-checking she’d finished everything before she headed out, waving goodbye to the nurses she saw. 

She was distracted on her way out, and she didn’t think when she hit the button to get into the next hallway. 

For two weeks, she prepped. Mentally paused and thought of all the things that could hit her out of the blue, make her come unraveled. She was ready, for the couples in the street holding hands, for the husbands coming to walk their wives home from work, the high schoolers on hot chocolate dates in the big city. But it was always the small things that got her. 

She hadn’t prepared herself, and her eyes automatically went to the walls when she cleared the doors. The ocean mural. The jellyfish, the sea turtle on the wall that Grayson had said looked like Ethan once. It hit her like a ton of bricks, her chest so tight that she reached up to press on it as she heard his voice in her head. It made her feel pathetic, the way she had to stop and grab onto the rail in the hall and steady herself for a moment. She counted her breaths, trying her hardest to shut her mind off, staring at the blue of the walls as she willed herself to be okay, just for another day.

Grayson was staring at the water. Or at least, he was trying to. The moon wasn’t very bright, but it reflected enough off the ocean for him to get a sense of which way the sun would come up. The whole surface was washed black by the night sky, and it was peaceful. He wanted to swim in it. He wanted to sink beneath it and find that blissful quiet you could only find underwater. 

He’d fallen asleep soon after Ethan had left him alone, which meant he found himself wide awake at 4 am, body tired of being asleep. Sitting in bed would only make things worse, so he sent Ethan a quick text and headed off in the Porsche towards the secret beach. There was no one else there so early in the morning, and he was grateful. It gave him the peace of mind to curl in on himself, let the tears flow freely as the waves lapped at the shore, returning over and over. 

Time ran away from him in the dark. His tears ceased eventually, dried themselves out as he sat in his misery. He didn’t fight it. Instead, he let it wash over him, sink into every pore and weigh him down, wishing he could somehow disappear into the sand as the sun started to rise and wash the world in light orange. His phone buzzed, no doubt a text from his brother. He elected to ignore it, keeping his eyes on the water, counting the waves as they came in. It was admirable, the dedication they showed; returning every time they got sucked back out. 

At some point, he felt the hair on the back of his neck stand up, and he sighed, pulling his hood up over his head in a feeble attempt to hide himself from whoever was watching him. He stood up and brushed the sand off himself, ducking his head down and jogging straight back to his car, hoping whoever it was wasn’t trying to come up to him. 

As soon as he ducked into his car and pulled the door shut, he sunk down, resting his forehead against his steering wheel. 

“Fuck!” He yelled, smacking his dashboard. His radio turned on with a jolt, connected to his phone and automatically starting his playlist. Cudi blared through the speakers and he groaned, hitting all the wrong buttons in an attempt to get it to turn off.

“Stop, fucking stop!” In a last attempt he chucked his phone across the car, watched it ricochet off the dash and down into the floorboard. He threw his car into reverse with blurry eyes, desperate to get away from anyone who might have a camera. He was paranoid the whole drive home that someone was watching, eyes darting to the windows of any car he ended up next to at a stoplight. It wasn’t until he got the gate closed behind him and he was in the house that he felt like he could breathe again. With Ethan still asleep down the hall, he choked back his sobs as he sat down at the counter, face in his hands. 

Indy was taking deep breaths behind the counter as the line started to pile up at Jet’s. She looked to her right, frowning at the stress on her new coworker, Mariposa’s, face as the cups continued to line up next to her. 

“Hey Posie,” she called over between customers. “Do you wanna switch?”

“God yes,” she exclaimed, rushing to take Indy’s place at the register so she could move over to the bar. 

Indiana preferred it that way. She didn’t have to smile for a latte, she just had to pour it and try not to burn her fingers and move on to the next. It had come back like second nature to her, and she liked the fast pace. It gave less time for her to think, and she welcomed the numbing repetition. She kept an ear piqued towards the register, listening to the orders coming in so she could get ahead. The next one came from a taller man, his face hidden behind a coat.

“Just give me the biggest cup of the strongest stuff you’ve got.”

Indy dropped her cup, a half poured latte splattering all over her hands first, down her apron, then the bottom of her jeans and onto her shoes. It only took one look over at the man to realize it wasn’t Grayson, and she deflated. 

“Shit,” she hissed, flicking her hands in an attempt to chill the burn that was already searing on her skin. She side-stepped to the sink, flipping the cold water on and letting it flow over her hands. It stung even more, and she sighed at the bright red of her skin. She’d had enough burns from her time as a barista to know that it would blister. 

“Indiana, you okay?” Patrick called from the ovens, moving a line of pastries in and out.

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine.”

He frowned, but kept quiet, letting her get back into the groove of making drinks. Indy could feel him watching her, the familiar weight of a protective eye over her shoulder. At least he was kind enough to wait until her shift was over before he tried to talk to her again.

“Hey, how’s your hand?” 

Indy looked down and sighed at the sight of her red skin, resisting the urge to rub it. Instead, she moved to the first aid kit and grabbed a wrap bandage. 

“It’s been better, but I’ll survive.”

“Why don’t you take the day off tomorrow,” Patrick suggested as casually as he could. “You know, to rest your hand.”

Indy scoffed.

“It’s not gonna fall off Patrick, I’m fine.”

He sighed. “Fine, if you’re gonna make me say it then I will. You’re a hard worker, one of the best we have, but you’re exhausted. We can all see it, and you don’t need to burn yourself out like this for a minimum wage job. So, you’re off tomorrow. No exceptions.”

“But-”

“No. Exceptions.” 

Her anger bubbled up in her like the blister forming on her thumb, but she knew it wasn’t Patrick’s fault. He was right - she was just upset at the idea of having an entire day with nothing to distract her. An empty apartment had never seemed so daunting, and it was all she could think about as she clocked out, got her things together, and walked home.

It was quieter than she’d imagined when she got through the door, the click of the latch echoing through the still space. She thought of turning on music, but that only made her think of Grayson, singing off-key next to her in the truck. She could put on a movie, but it would make her think of cuddling with him on the couch. Her bed was where he had been so many nights. He’d cooked in her kitchen, he’d helped her move furniture in the guest room. 

She couldn’t escape him, no matter where she went. And so, as pathetic as she felt doing it, she sunk down right there on the floor, and she let the misery have her. It came in broken sobs that caught on her throat on the way out, too loud even for her own ears as she tried to imagine a day where she didn’t feel like the world was crumbling around her. 

She wasn’t sure how long she sat there. But eventually, the things no one ever talked about started to happen. Her butt went numb, and her head started to hurt, and her lips got dry from the saltwater that ran over them. None of that mattered though. What finally got her up from the cold floor was the fact that she was sticky - remnants of the vanilla syrup in the latte that she’d dropped finally congealing and making her feel more disgusting than the tears. She peeled herself up off the floor and headed to her bathroom.

Grayson was in the shower, with his head down, water splashing over his back and bouncing off his shoulders - a statue in the rain. It was the best place to avoid getting on his phone, considering he couldn’t, and that was the only way he could trust himself to not get on twitter and see the aftermath of the morning.

He wondered for a moment what he looked like from outside the glass shower door, standing there with his razor up by his chest. The blades clogged with the long hairs he shaved from his chest, leaving him bare and smoother than he’d been in months. He sat the razor down and moved to pick up a clear bottle from the shelf. Polis was scribbled on it in sharpie in Ethan’s handwriting, remnants of a Wakeheart meeting. Grayson could remember how excited he was to pitch the idea, even if it was over zoom. 

“I finally came up with the third body wash scent. Vanilla, with a hint of coffee and then a little bit of sandalwood to keep it professional and put together.” 

He’d had to whisper it - Indy was asleep in her room, the product of a good post study-session back rub that had lulled her into a much-needed nap. The team loved it, thought it complimented the other two scents they’d been testing well. Ethan was hesitant, but he kept his mouth shut and brainstormed a backup if needed.

Grayson was thankful for the gesture, even when he’d told him that he’d started planning it as early as he had. But he wasn’t willing to give it up, and he made it very clear in their first meeting back that Polis was a permanent scent. It felt like a tiny piece of her that he could hold onto. Still, as he stood there and held the bottle up to his nose, it wasn’t the same. As pitiful as it made him feel, he tried closing his eyes, tried to imagine she was there with him, standing in front of him, giggling like she always did when they showered together. 

He couldn’t do it justice. Couldn’t feel the warmth of her skin against his, couldn’t smell her shampoo or watch her try to bend over and shave her legs in her small apartment shower without bumping into him. He’d held her hips to help her keep her balance, listened to her laugh and talk about casual intimacy, heard the way it echoed off the tiles and became his favorite sound in the entire world. 

His tears mixed with the water, his pain palpable as he started to quiver just barely, the memory enough to break down the paper thin wall he’d managed to drag back up to protect himself. When his knees shook he gave up and sunk to the ground, green tiles of the bench seat icy against his back as he buried his face in his hands. He’d never felt weaker in his life, and he wished he was ten again, so his dad could wrap his strong arm around his shoulder and tell him that everything would be alright. 

He went for the next best thing once he managed to get enough energy to get up and turn the water off. A few swipes of his towel over his body and hair, then he pulled his boxers on and put on his robe, walking straight out of his room and down the hall.

Ethan’s door was open, but he wasn’t in his bed like Gray expected. He was at his desk instead, a look of stress on his face that Grayson was all too familiar with. A pang of guilt resonated in him when he realized what his brother was doing - picking up all the slack that he was leaving in his misery. 

He hadn’t said a word about it though, and that made it worse.

It took Ethan a moment to realize his brother was there, but as soon as he did he turned his desk chair, giving him his full attention.

“Hey.”

Grayson didn’t answer.

“You okay?” Ethan tried again. Grayson’s throat burned, and he shook his head, sitting on the end of the bed. He’d never been able to hide from Ethan, and luckily, he never really had to. Because Ethan was the type of brother to act tough when he needed to, but soften up at the smallest things. Which was why Grayson wasn’t surprised to see his brother rise up out of his chair, coming to sit next to him. The bed sunk down a bit with his weight, and Grayson let himself press up against his brother. The air felt heavy while he waited.

“You’re good. Just let it out.” Ethan’s voice was quiet, and he leaned his cheek against his brother’s head and felt him go to pieces. It was the hardest Grayson had cried since the airport, and every sniffle made his head pound but he couldn’t pull himself together. Those were the kind of moments where he wondered how people survived without twin brothers. He felt safe there with Ethan - if everything else fell apart, at least he’d have him. There were a million things he could say, but he already knew what the answers would be. Ethan would tell him that he’d find someone else some day, and that Indy would heal and that he shouldn’t feel guilty for doing what he did. He also knew that Ethan would say all of it even if he didn’t believe it, because their pain was shared.

Grayson cried himself out again after an hour or so, his sinuses pounding behind his eyes as the headache settled in. 

Ethan stayed still - he knew better than to leave him. It wasn’t until Grayson finally wiped at his eyes that his brother relaxed a bit, watched him stand up and run his hands over his face. It felt colder without Ethan right next to him, but he knew he needed to sleep. 

“Try to get some sleep,” Ethan echoed his thoughts. “We need to record the pod tonight if you can.”

“Okay. I can help with the emails, I know we probably have a shit ton.”

Ethan was already shaking his head before he finished.

“Just get some sleep, okay?”

Grayson nodded and gave him the best smile he could manage before he went back into his room, climbing back into the safety of his covers with his phone in his hand, just in case she called.

Indy’s pillow was wet. It was mainly from her hair soaking into the pillowcase - she didn’t have the energy to dry it after her shower. But she’d also made a terrible mistake. One scroll through the app store and a quick log in and she was back onto instagram, ignoring the now thousands of follow requests she had in her notifications. It only took one click to her explore page and her tears were adding to the moisture below her cheek. 

He had on his Cudi hoodie, the yellow one. She wished she’d been there to tell him not to wear it. It was too bright, a target for the cameras that seemed to find him. The first ones she saw stung. They were only of his back, taken from far enough away that she could pretend it was someone else. But she knew the way he sat, with his arms over his knees. 

The next ones hurt, because she could see his face. He was walking, and she knew him well enough to know he’d realized what was happening and tried to leave, just from his posture, the way he slumped while walking. His eyes were red, those dark circles that she’d ran her fingers over so many times worse than she’d ever seen them. Ever since he’d left, she’d wanted to know how he felt. If he missed her at all, if he was as miserable as she seemed to be every minute of every day.

It hurt worse to get her answer than it did to wonder. She’d hoped he was upset, but suddenly all she wanted to do was hold him, tell him it was okay, that she was okay even though she wasn’t. It was impossible not to scroll, looking for anything new, any hints as to what he had been up to since he’d gotten off that plane. 

She had never asked for a front row seat to his life, but she’d take it if it was the only glimpse of him that she could get. It made her feel pathetic, but she didn’t care enough to fight it.

Eventually, she found herself scrolling his page. She couldn’t tell how she got there, but she couldn’t seem to leave it either. So she just scrolled, averting her eyes from any comments, and pretending, just for a moment, that everything was back to the way it was. That he was just busy recording a podcast, or that he’d be sprawled out on her couch when she went out to the living room. 

She held onto it until she walked out of her room, knowing she needed to eat even though she didn’t want to. She kept her eyes off the couch, moving to her cabinets that were barren apart from a few avocados that were rotten. With a sigh she threw them in the trash that was close to overflowing, opting instead for the last box of mac and cheese she had left. 

Indy was thankful for muscle memory, her mind wandering off to better days where her kitchen wasn’t so quiet as she cooked the pasta she really didn’t want and took it back to her room, curling up under her covers as she ate.

Grayson had two empty boxes of vegan mac and cheese in front of him, one of which obviously had an ‘E’ scribbled on it that he’d ignored when he made them. He shoveled the noodles into his mouth, ignoring the way they burnt his tongue just barely. Ethan walked in and saw the boxes, opened his mouth and shut it again. 

“S’pod setup?” Grayson said around a mouthful.

“Yeah, I set up the pod, we’re good whenever you’re ready.”

“Gimminute.”

Ethan just chuckled and shook his head, happy to at least see his brother eating even if he was shoveling it down like he hadn’t seen food before. He waited, seeing that Gray was done within the next two minutes, sitting his bowl in the sink and stretching his arms out. He looked tired, but Ethan hoped the pod camera was far enough away from them to make the dark circles subtle enough. 

“Do you want some of my old concealer stuff? For under your eyes?”

Grayson hesitated for a moment, picking at his nails. “You still have it?” 

“Yeah, hang on.” Ethan ran to his bathroom, snagged the compact from his bottom drawer and brought it to the kitchen. “Come over here, you’re supposed to do it in natural light.”

He held it out for Grayson, who just looked up at him. 

“I don’t know how the fuck to do it, you do it.”

“Do I look like a makeup artist to you?” Ethan asked, and when Grayson stayed quiet, he sighed and flipped the compact open, swiping his finger through the semi-creamy substance and moving to pat it on his brother, frowning when it was more difficult than he thought it would be. “Look up you fuck, I gotta blend it.”

Grayson just rolled his eyes but did as he was told, sitting still until E said he was finished and led the way to the studio. They got settled in their chairs, double checking the camera angles. Ethan cleared his throat, waiting until his brother looked at him. 

“Are we… do you want to mention anything about…”

Grayson waited. He wondered if his brother was really going to be dumb enough to ask.

“Are we talking about the pictures, yes or no.”

“What the fuck do you think the answer to that is,” Gray grumbled.

“I’m just saying, if you mention it you can say what you want about it, get your own voice out there. Whatever you say, I’ll go along with it.”

“Great.”

Grayson took a deep breath, gave Ethan a look that read as an apology, and clicked the button to start recording. He stayed fairly quiet the first few minutes of the recording, waiting to jump into a conversation that didn’t make his throat tight. The podcast was his favorite place, because he could let himself actually speak, say what he wanted to say without worrying. 

It came back to bite him in the ass 45 minutes into the episode, when his guard was down and he had finally lost himself the way he did when he worked. They were talking about birds, and how they had a bad, unjustified rep. 

“I mean, Gizmo can be an asshole sometimes, but she’s only an asshole when people are like, scared of her,” Ethan mused. 

“Right! She gets all shy when I come home after a while, but when Dee came in the house the first time she was freaking out, just from hearing her and I swear, every time after that Giz just like, screamed every single time she was even in the house.”

“Gray-”

“No seriously! You remember how loud she got? Fuck, remember that time she went down to help mom with dessert and Giz was out and she cried?”

“Grayson.”

“What? Did I peak the mic?”

Ethan’s eyes were sad. “You… you said her name.”

“Huh?”

“Indiana. You said Dee, when you were telling that story.”

He swallowed hard. “Oh. Sorry.”

“It’s okay.” He could see him spiraling, and he tried to reel him back in. “You’re okay. We can just cut it, and start again with a story about Gizmo.” 

“Yeah uh… just give me a second.”

“Sure. Whatever you need.”

“Just, uh, say what you said again before,” Grayson murmured, shaking his head to try and clear it. But it was too late - he was so consumed by what his mind had brought back to the surface that he could barely hear Ethan repeat his words.

“Yeah-” Grayson came in a moment late. “Giz is a special one.”

Ethan waited for him to continue, but jumped in when he didn’t. “She gets shy when you haven’t been home in a while and you show up. That’s the thing about animals dude, like people think about cats and dogs and they can recognize their emotions, but with stuff like birds and cows and shit, people just don’t think about them that way, and it fucking sucks. They have feelings too! Gizmo’s fucking sassy bro, she will let you know how she’s feeling, especially if she’s pissed. Bro, we should have Giz on the pod, do you think she’d talk? She can whistle, we could show off her tricks.”

“You can’t put a bird on a plane,” Grayson mumbled. His eyes were fixed down on the blue center of the table, and he was fidgeting with his sleeves.

“Yeah, but we can put the mics in our suitcases and just record at home.”

Ethan realized it a moment too late. He wanted to snatch his words out of the air, scratch them from the tape when he saw the way Grayson’s eyes met his, saw the gloss near his waterline. 

“Yeah - uh - um,” Grayson tried to save it, and then he covered his mouth, silencing the squeak that turned into a sob. He pretended it was a cough, bringing his hand up and running his fingers over his forehead, shielding his eyes from the camera.

“I uh, I miss home a lot more this time than I usually do,” he said, his voice froggy with the tightness of his throat. Ethan couldn’t say anything. There was nothing to say as he watched his brother fight and lose in his battle to keep his composure, covering his mouth as he cried, knuckles brushing up against the mic.

“Fuck, sorry, I’m sorry E.”

“It’s okay, hey, it’s okay.” Ethan was up so fast he forgot to take off his headphones. They fell back into the chair when they pulled off his ears as he moved to his brother, pulling him up into a hug. “We can finish it later, we’ll just cut to an ad or something. It’s okay.”

“Sorry.”

“Shh. It’s fine bro, it’s fine. C’mon, let’s go get some air.” 

Air wasn’t what they found.

Instead, they found Eden, standing against the counter with her arms crossed in a way that had Ethan’s blood running cold. He thought the sight of Grayson practically curled in on himself might have softened her up, but she stood her ground until both of the twins were looking at her. 

Grayson knew that she knew, and she only confirmed it when she spoke.

“What. The fuck. Is wrong with you.” 

Back in New York, Indy’s phone was ringing. Or at least, she thought it was. But when she unlocked it and was blinded by the light, it was just her lockscreen, Grayson smiling at her with 3:04 written across the top. Judging by the darkness, she knew she hadn’t slept the afternoon away, but the buzzing continued until she finally climbed out of bed and realized it was the intercom system - the front desk calling her through the small phone on her wall that hardly ever rang. She pulled it off the receiver and held it up to her ear.

“Hello?”

“Hi Ms. Cross, there’s a gentleman here to see you.”

Her heart skipped, and she clutched the phone with both her hands.

“Who?”

There was a beat of silence, and Indy could vaguely hear her ask him for a name. 

“His name is Devin.” 

She sucked in a breath, letting her head and her hopes fall. 

“Send him up.” 

It took her a moment to process her grief before the panic set in. If Devin was showing up unannounced, something bad must have happened. She swung her door open, chewing on her nails as she stood in the doorway, waiting for him to appear. He came out of the elevator with a small duffle slung over his shoulder and a cautious smile that had her ready to cry.

“Dev, what the hell are you doing here? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” he said.

“Charlie?”

“Also fine. We’re fine.”

She caught her breath, and then she was frowning. “If everything is fine, why the fuck are you here at 3am?”

“Because you haven’t answered your sister’s calls in a week, and she’s worried sick about you.”

Guilt panged in her stomach - she hadn’t meant to ignore her. In all honesty, she’d ignored everyone without realizing it. 

“I- sorry, I didn’t mean to. Just slipped my mind. Is she here too?”

“She’s got a wedding to shoot this weekend, and we only had one ticket anyways. Flight got delayed, tried to find a hotel for the night so I could wait until later this morning but I couldn’t find one so you’re stuck with me. Sorry,” he teased, reaching out to hold onto her shoulder. There was no malice in his voice, and Indy was grateful. “Let’s go inside.” 

He didn’t ask for it, but she made him a coffee anyways alongside her own. She was tired, her eyes burning, but it wasn’t anything new from the last few weeks. She fought it, pulling one of the few sweatshirts Grayson had left at her place over her head before she sat on the couch, waiting.

Devin was quiet, tapping his fingers against his mug, out of his element. 

“Dev.”

“Hmm?”

“You didn’t fly to New York to drink coffee with me. Talk.”

He sighed, sitting his mug down on the coffee table and turning towards her.

“Inds, we’re worried about you.” 

Indy scoffed, a short, automatic sound. 

“I’m fine.”

“No, you aren’t. You really, really aren’t. You’re running yourself into the ground for no good reason.” 

“I’m trying to pay rent,” she countered, but even she knew it wasn’t true.

“Your hospital job pays more than rent. Jet’s is just because you’re scared to let your mind rest.”

Indy didn’t have an answer, so she sipped her coffee instead, cursing herself for telling Charlie everything in a moment of weakness. The silence was loud, and Devin sighed to break it after far too long.

“Have you talked to him? Since?”

Her throat was tight. “No.”

Devin wrung his hands together. “You do know it was fucked up what he did, right?”

“Dev-”

“I’m just making sure you know that. You can still make your own decision on however you wanna navigate it in the future, but you have to acknowledge that what he did was a new level of shitty. And he’s a good guy, I really do think he is, but he fucked you over, and you’re my family. And I protect my family. So I just need you to know that you didn’t deserve what he did to you, and he fucked up. Big time.” 

“Right.”

“Okay, good.”

She let him believe it, though she’d only said it to appease him. She wondered if he would feel differently, if he had seen. If he had felt, the way that Grayson had shook in her arms, the way his sobs seemed to be ripping him apart every moment that he was hurting her. She wanted to pull up her phone, show him the pictures from the beach, show him that he was hurting too, that he didn’t want to hurt her. She wanted to prove it to him.

“When does your semester start?” He asked, pulling her mind off of it. She swallowed hard, then took another drink of coffee. 

Indiana had spent three days in self pity when she got back from the airport. She let the misery have her fully - didn’t change her clothes, barely ate, hardly left her bedroom. And then, after that, she picked herself up and got to work. She applied for her tech job and called Patrick to see if she could get the schedules to align, and more importantly, she’d started to run numbers. 

Medical school. Just the application fees alone were going to hit her budget hard, so much so that she reduced it down to two. JCU, and UCLA. 

Her applications had gotten accepted three days prior, along with an email about a scholarship she was eligible for at UCLA that made it comparable to JCU’s tuition. But the money wasn’t the issue, and when it was time to accept, she knew that UCLA wouldn’t hold her spot forever.

She’d taken a deep breath, and emailed the registrar. 

“I deferred.”

She was embarrassed to say it outloud, and for some reason it was the brick of the dam that fell, and her tears began to flow. She felt Devin’s hand on her shoulder before he spoke.

“Good.”

She hadn’t expected him to be mean - in fact, the meanest thing she’d ever heard him say was what he’d just said about Grayson. But it still shocked her enough to have her frowning.

“Good?”

“Indy. Do you realize how long you’ve been a student? Do you know who you are outside of being one?”

“I-”

“You’re the smartest person I know, and I love you, but I think you need to take a step back and really look at what you’re doing. Take a semester, fuck, take a year. Live. Breathe. You’re already ahead, and you’ll still be ahead.”

“I’m not worried about being ahead, Dev,” she whispered, running her hands over her face.

“Then what are you worried about?” There was a sincerness in his voice, and a gentleness in the way he held her hand that made her cry even harder.

“I just don’t know what the fuck to do anymore,” she blubbered, grateful when he pulled her over to his chest in a hug. He let her cry it out for a while, waiting until she was calm enough to hear him.

“I don’t have the answer to that, but I say, ask yourself what you really want the rest of your life to look like, and then do whatever you have to to get there. If it’s being a doctor, great. If it’s not, great. Just as long as it’s what you want.”

She took a shaky breath in, and blew it out through her lips, simply giving him a nod.

The problem was, she knew exactly what she wanted - and he was off in Los Angeles, cowering behind his brother.

“Baby, woah, hey, take it easy,” Ethan cautioned, side stepping into the war path she’d outlined, headed straight for Grayson. Her eyes were fire when she looked at her boyfriend and raised an eyebrow.

“He’s having a rough night, just take it easy,” he added.

He stoked the flames.

“You know who else is probably having a rough fucking night? Indiana. And we are gonna talk later-” she poked a finger into Ethan’s chest - “but right now, I’m not talking to you so I suggest you get out of my way.” 

There was a bite in her tone that had Ethan rocking back on his heels, questioning just how far his duties as protective brother would go. He breathed out a sigh when he felt Grayson’s hand on his shoulder.

“It’s fine E.” 

He’d never admit it, but Grayson had been waiting. Ever since he pulled away on New Year’s, he had waited for the punishment. The anger, the disbelief, the spite that he thought would arise in Indiana at the realization of what he’d done. 

It wasn’t until he got off the plane and into his room that he realized his true punishment would be the guilt, and the grief, and the realization that he’d pushed away the only future he’d ever truly known he wanted. 

The anger was a welcomed change.

“What the fuck is wrong with you? What the fuck, Grayson.”

“I know.”

“I don’t say a lot of shit about a lot of shit, but whoever you decide to be with could possibly end up as part of my family, forever, so fuck me if I’m invested, and I think I deserve an explanation on why I just got a call from Charlie to see if I’d talked to Indy, cause she’s ‘really going through it’.”

“I didn’t want to hurt her.” His eyes turned glossy, and Ethan stood up straighter.

“The fuck you didn’t,” she scoffed, running her hand through her hair to push her curls out of her face. “You realize how badly you fucked up, right? Right?”

“Yes.”

“And that you broke her heart right? Probably absolutely fucking destroyed her.”

“Eden-” Ethan spoke up.

“Yes,” Grayson answered, his chest tight. He wrapped his arms around himself, willed them to hold him together. It felt different, to have someone say it to him so directly, to confirm what he had done.  

“Then why? Just… why?”

“Long distance wouldn’t have worked, and I didn’t want -”

“Oh bullshit. No one would have tried harder than Indiana to make that work, you fucking know that.”

“She shouldn’t have to deal with that, with me being so far away -”

“God you fucking self-sacrificial fuck!” She yelled. “She loved you, you moron, and when you love someone, you give! You hit a crossroads, you sit down and have a fucking conversation, and you fucking give! That’s what a fucking real relationship looks like, not you deciding that you don’t deserve to be loved and running in the other fucking direction!” Her face was red when she stopped to catch her breath. Ethan looked just as shocked at the outburst as his brother. Her mind seemed to catch up to her ears, and she backtracked.

“Sorry, fuck, that was -”

“No, you're right. You’re right. Everything you said was fucking right,” Grayson didn’t even try to hide his tears. He blubbered into his hands, ugly choking sobs that he wasn’t sure how he even produced. Ethan was at his side immediately, arm wrapped around his shoulders.

“What do I do?” He asked, voice muffled by his hands until he finally raised his head and looked at Eden with pleading eyes, waiting for an answer she was reluctant to give.

“You let her live. Don’t text her, don’t call her. If she calls, you don’t answer. When you go home, you don’t see her. You let her let go, and move on.”

All he could do was nod, and lean into his brother.

Indy leaned against the wall. It was cold and unrelenting against her shoulder, but it held her up better than her own legs would. She’d dropped Devin off at the airport that afternoon, and found herself back on the ped’s floor, waiting. 

Valentina spotted her first from the nurses station, and the way she held her clipboard made it look like a weapon.

“My eyes better be deceiving me, cause’ I know that is not Indiana Cross standing in my hallway on her day off.” 

Indy found it in her to laugh dryly. “Relax Val, I’m here to see Beks. Haven’t gotten to visit her off the clock for a while.”

Valentina still gave her signature disapproving stare, but she gave it up with a sigh. “Well, her family is visiting too. Mom and Dad, if you wanna say hi.”

It had been a long time since she’d seen Mr. and Mrs. Newcomb. They were lovely people, and they truly did come see her as often as they could. But they also worked two jobs a piece to try to foot the medical bills, which meant often was scarce. 

Indy had never seen them in the same room before, and her stomach tightened. She was hesitant to go to Bekah’s room, scared to interrupt, but when she peaked her head around her doorway, she saw the couple sitting on the couch in the room quietly. 

Mrs. Newcomb spotted her, eyes brightening as she waved her inside. 

“Come in, come in!”

Indy was still hesitant as she walked inside, eyes darting over to a sleeping Bekah. She was curled up under her halloween blanket, brows furrowed down and skin pale. 

“Hi Indiana, how are you sweet girl?” Mrs. Newcomb asked.

“I’m good, I’m sorry to interrupt, I just thought I might stop by and check on her but I don’t want to intrude.”

“No, no you’re fine! She was actually asking about you just before she went to sleep, you and Earring, whoever that is. Hang on.”

Indy watched as she moved over to the edge of her daughter’s bed, running her thumb along her cheek until she started to stir.

“Sweetheart, Indiana is here to see you. Can you open your eyes for me?”

Bekah whined, but pulled her eyes open, smiling slightly when Indiana moved into her view.

“Hey punk,” Indy said, crouching down so she could get to her level. 

“Hey,” she whispered, voice hoarse. On instinct, Indy reached out to fix her head wrap, making Bekah’s mother smile. “What time is it?”

“6:55,” Indy answered.

“Mmm. Meds coming soon,” she mumbled. “Where’s Earrings? He doesn’t like needles, don’t let him see the needles.”

“No needles baby,” Mrs. Newcomb said. “Just some to make you feel better. You rest now.”

“Earrings,” she said again, and Indy could tell she was asking. 

“He’ll be here to see you soon,” Indy lied, rubbing over her wrap like she would her hair if it was still there. 

It didn’t click for Indiana until 7 rolled around, and Jennifer came in with a cup of pills instead of an IV pole.

Radiation and chemo don’t come in pills, Indy knew that much. 

Mrs. Newcomb watched the realization come across her face, and she gave her a sympathetic smile.

“She’s… she didn’t get her meds.”

“Indiana baby, it’s what she wants. The new round didn’t work, the stem cells failed. It’s time to let her rest. We’ll keep her comfortable, the doctor says it’ll probably be a few weeks, maybe a month.”

Indy’s throat burned, and her breathing quickened, chest rising much too fast. She couldn’t say goodbye to anyone - it took all her focus to make it out of the building, running down the stairs and across the lobby before she was dry heaving in the bushes, the sight of Bekah’s frail body in her bed appearing every time she closed her eyes.

It wasn’t a conscious decision. More of an instinct, really, that drove her to pull her phone out of her pocket and pull him up and call.

In LA, Grayson’s phone buzzed against his nightstand. A new picture of Indiana popped up - her contact photo that he’d taken one day in Jersey. With a knot in his throat and Eden’s voice in his ears, he reached over and turned it off before rolling away and letting his tears soak into the pillowcase.

#mixtape #SO SORRY #im prepared for the yelling again #grayson dolan #grayson dolan fanfiction

[erekiosuncreativeideas]

The Part-Time Puppeteer - Chapter 06

<= Chapter 5

Summary : Lukas gets to have a heart-to-heart discussion with an absolute asshole. Also available on AO3 : https://archiveofourown.org/works/23828971/chapters/81015496

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AAAAH I'M SORRY FOR THE TWO MONTHS HIATUS I HAD A WRITER BLOCK---

Anyway uuuh, new chapter, I have no idea if it's good or not but still, here it is. I did my best to offer you a longer chapter as a compensation, it's twice the length of the last one.

Happy reading ! Thank you for waiting all this time.

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Chapter 6 - “Oh. It’s you.”

The rest of the day had been… Quite blurry for the student. After coming back home, he had sat down at his desk, staring into space for… Minutes, hours, he hadn’t been able to tell. It was an understatement to say that he was in shock after what had happened. Even after everything, his mind couldn’t help but think this was just a joke, or that he had imagined the whole thing. But the script in his bag was a proof of the contrary. For a good while, the young man hadn’t found the courage to look back at it, as if it were some sort of cursed object, haunting him. But then, the Conductor’s words came back to him: “learn your text by tomorrow”. An order, a clear one, coming from one of his bosses. The student shivered as he remembered, soon bringing his hands to his face, massaging his closed, tired eyes. Oh, boy, why did he always get in that kind of situation… Even when he was a kid, he would often get dragged in things like this. He had thought this would get better as he grew up, but noooo, of fucking course it wouldn’t. Lukas let out a loud, long, exaggerated sigh, and stood up. He walked to his sofa bed all while dragging his feet and, once he was in front of it, it was like what was left of his energy left him. What a day . With another sigh, the student felt his body fall forward, and it wasn’t long before his face hit one of his pillows. Air was forced out of his lungs by the impact, though he did nothing but grunt in the fabric. Him? An actor? This couldn’t be right, this just… It wasn’t right. Sure, MJ was a jerk, but he still had the skills and the experience! In comparison, Lukas was just a law student- not a bad one, mind you, which only made it even more surprising to see him getting the role. It wasn’t like he had chosen the wrong scholar path, no, on the contrary, he was skilled in his major. But apparently, his bosses had seen something else deep inside that walking shell of anxiety… -“Uuuuugh...” his voice was low and tired. For a moment, he thought he was almost going to fall asleep like this, still wearing his clothes, but he reluctantly sat down. With a look full of weariness and unwillingness, the student’s attention went back to his bag, in which the script was. He didn’t want to learn the lines, and a single glance at his desk full of homework was a good way to understand why. But it seemed like his paycheck was now depending on it, as much as he would have preferred to remain a stagehand… -“Guess I don’t have a choice…” he mumbled, before moving his foot to reach for the bag, making it slide towards him, so he could open it. He supposed that he would be able to scribble down the answers to his homework during his lunch break… Or, at least, he hoped. And so, the young man spent the next two hours learning his lines, saying them out loud, so he could remember them. A good thing about his brain was that it learned pretty well from words and sounds. Thus, by saying them out loud, Lukas was pretty efficient in remembering them. Plus, truth to be told, those lines weren’t exactly as hard to learn as his law books… Not that it was a bad thing, far from it. At least, it made his job far easier. However, he wasn’t going to lie, there were a few parts that were harder to remember. Once he was done, the student hesitated on whether he should go to sleep (the reasonable option) or try to get some of his homework done. Sure, he was pretty tired, and the day had been filled by a lot of diverse emotions… But part of him knew he just wouldn’t be able to fall asleep knowing what awaited him the day after. He had always been very anxious, this was a secret to no one, and especially not himself… However, this whole thing was very new, and it made it all worse. And so… The student ended up staying up late until three in the morning, managing to get most of his homework done. One of the perks of being good at a subject was being fast. Of course, this would have given him much better results if he had worked on it seriously, without all the tiredness and all, but the context wasn’t really allowing him that.

Thus, Lukas packed up his college stuff for the next day and soon went to sleep for one very short night. Oh, well, not his first, far from it. Thankfully, he had a few sleeping meds he had kept from an old treatment, allowing him to fall asleep rather quick. However, this always came at a price- they made waking up a much more difficult moment, as his body was still very much under the influence of the medicine when that happened. And the next morning… Was no exception, especially since he only got to sleep for less than three hours. Fighting the urge to go back to sleep, Lukas managed to get up and prepare himself for college. New clothes, brushing his hair and teeth… It only took him a moment until he was ready to leave his small apartment. Oh, his face, however… It looked like it belonged to a rotten corpse, who had just come back to life… Somewhat. The trip to college was pretty ordinary, and so was his morning and afternoon, actually. He gave his teachers all the papers that were due, he aced one of his oral presentation despite looking like a dead man… No, really, this day was going well, which was surprising considering he was mostly surviving thanks to coffee and to the fear of collapsing in public. Yeah, no, he didn’t want any attention on him… Which was a funny thing to think about, because this was exactly what he was going to get with his new job! Once his classes were over, Lukas took the bus to his workplace, dread settling on his shoulders, heavier and heavier as the minutes passed. Oh, he didn’t want to get that role… Of course, he could tell his bosses, but there was a small part of him, deep down, that was curious about where this would lead him. Now, obviously, being a stagehand was a pretty classic job, one without risks… But this? While he was terrified of screwing up, especially since people would be looking at him… Yeah, there was something that prevented him from refusing this promotion. And, also, if that could piss MJ off, then it was a good bonus. The studio reception was calm compared to the day before and, for a moment, just a small moment, the student thought his shift was going to be nice. But ooh, no, he couldn’t have nice things- the moment he opened the door leading to the staff areas, he winced as many voices echoed around him. They were coming from all directions, through walls, doors too! It was a large cacophony in there, and people were running around, carrying stuff and bringing props for each shooting. Actions movies, dramas, comedies… Each type had its own part of the studio, but there was this central room linking them all together and, oh, this place was just a battlefield. Moving fast through the agitated crowd, Lukas tried to reach his accredited part of the studio- the children shows shootings. Avoiding props almost falling on his feet accidentally, sneaking between people carrying hot coffee, and bending down to avoid planks being carried around… He bumped into someone just before he got to open the door leading to his area. -“Oh, I- I’m sorry,” he stammered, quickly moving back, so he could apologize properly to the person he had bumped into. However, his eyes widened when he recognized the figure in front of him. Mike! The good twin. For a second, the latter’s face had alarmed him, as he thought he had bumped into MJ instead… But thankfully, while having the same face, the two brothers had very different hairstyles and fashion choices. The student let out a sigh- phew, he wasn’t sure he would have been ready for MJ’s bullshit right at the beginning of his shift. -“Oh, hey!” Mike seemed almost as surprised as he was, though his expression quickly changed to a warm, welcoming one: “Good to see you again- oh, wait, let’s, uh… Get inside,” he then mumbled, opening the door quickly so they both could leave the absolute war zone they were in. Lukas didn’t lose any time and followed the other like a shadow would, only getting the opportunity to sigh in relief as they found themselves in a much quieter place. Kinda ironic that the children shows part of the

studio was calmer than the staff hall... -“Hey,” he finally replied, now that the “battlefield” was behind them: “It’s good to see you too,” he answered trustfully, with a smile. He hadn’t seen the other since MJ’s outburst the day before, and getting the chance to meet him again was a good way of making Lukas’ day a little better and… Less chaotic. -“How are you?” he then asked, deciding to take a moment for a conversation with his only friend in the studio so far. Plus, he was… Worried. With what had happened the day before, and how MJ had thrown Mike’s puppet on the floor like it was nothing, he wanted to make sure everything was okay. -“Oh, I’m… Doing fine,” the other looked away with an awkward smile, which was an obvious sign that things had definitely happened yesterday. With how furious the actor had been when leaving the shooting, Lukas could very well imagine the latter taking his frustration on his brother. What an asshole. But, it was family business, and he couldn’t say anything about it, as a stranger. -“What about you?” Mike added quickly, visibly determined on changing the topic: “I heard you got the role, yesterday. Congrats!” The praise took the student by surprise, and he felt his cheeks reddening from the embarrassment. Oh, man, this was new, yeah… He wasn’t used to that kind of thing. His stance tensed up, and a sheepish smile took place on his lips. -“Oh, uh… Thanks,” he blurted out, and it was his turn to look away: “It’s… Really weird, I guess I’m just… Feeling a bit shocked, you know?” he turned his head back to his new friend and a nervous giggle escaped him. He was fidgeting, not really knowing how to respond to that. -“Ah, yeah, it’s your first time,” Mike nodded, remembering that Lukas had first been hired as a stagehand, not as an actor: “Don’t worry, children shows are the perfect way to start as a beginner. You know, with the public being less critical and all… I’m sure you’ll get used to it in no time.” The puppet maker was kind, trying to reassure Lukas and ease his anxiety. Too bad that his stage fight was skyrocketing since the moment he had stepped in the building again… Another nervous giggle left his lips, and he started to rub his arm, not knowing what to do with his hands. -“I suppose so…” he muttered, still smiling, though it looked less genuine: “It’s just that… I mean… Why me? I’m just a guy who wanted a part-time job. I’m not an actor, I don’t have any experience…” -“Well, from what I’ve heard, you were pretty good yesterday- oh, speaking about that…” Mike’s face darkened, as if he had just remember to mention something unpleasant: “I think you should… Avoid MJ, as much as you can, from now on. My brother, he’s… He didn’t take it well, I’m not gonna lie, and… I mean, you saw how he is with people, he’s not the best at being with others. Now, with what happened yesterday, I don’t think he’ll make your life any easier.” The student grimaced as he listened to his friend. Yeah… Yeah, he had seen that coming. With how livid MJ had been when leaving the set, it wasn’t surprising that the latter was going to make his shifts hell. God, he really hoped he would manage to avoid that jerk… -“Yeah, I… Kinda expected that,” he admitted, tilting his head to the side with a wince: “But, uh… Since he’s not part of the team anymore, I shouldn’t run too much into him… Right?” -“I wish I’d say yes, but…” Mike answered, his face showing conflict: “He has some other roles in the studio, and he might come see me now and then, so… Yeah. Be careful and do your best to avoid him. He’s not… The best person to be around when he’s like this.” “Oh, you mean all the time, then?” Lukas thought to himself, but kept his mouth shut. Not the best thing to say out loud, especially when it came to said person’s twin. Still, he couldn’t help but wonder why Mike was making so many efforts for someone that clearly didn’t deserve them… But, then again, he was a stranger, it wasn’t his place to say anything. -“Will do,” he assured his friend, before looking at his watch and- oh, shit, he was going to

be late. Apparently, it must have been visible from his expression, because the puppet maker let out a soft giggle: -“Oh, yeah, it’s time,” he looked up, as if he were trying to remember something: “Last time I saw the Conductor and DJ Grooves, they were in the conference room with some investors. You should go practice in the meantime… My workshop is open, if you want,” he offered with a shrug: “It’s a small room, but I’m normally the only one there, so if you wanna have some quiet, alone time to rehearse, well… I need to help the stagehands for some set repairs, so I won’t bother you.” The offer was a really nice attention, another one that did help to make Lukas’ day a little better. Considering his promotion, he wasn’t sure if he was supposed to help the other stagehands while waiting for his bosses, but… Well, practicing really wouldn’t hurt, especially considering how short his night had been. -“Thanks, I really appreciate it,” he gave Mike a warm smile, before pointing to a door on the other side of the room: “It’s this one, right?” he asked for confirmation. -“Yep, that’s the one! Just, uh… Please don’t touch anything, most of the puppets and costumes aren’t done, so they’re quite fragile.” Lukas assured him he wouldn’t, and even then, he didn’t have any reason to. At least, contrary to his friend’s twin, he knew how to respect someone’s work… And with that, the two waved to one another, before heading to opposite directions. The student walked to the door with a quick pace, wanting to get as much time as possible to practice. When he opened it, he was surprised to see that, yeah, the room was pretty small indeed, even smaller than what he had imagined. The place was full of puppets hanging from the ceiling, and the walls were covered in eccentric and colorful clothes. It was almost eye straining! Two out of the four corners of the rooms were used to stock supplies and different types of fabric, making the room even smaller than it originally was. Then, hidden in the third corner was a desk with a sewing machine on top of it. It looked like an old but durable one, the kind that would last years even if it was out-of-date. Other than that, the desk was full of smaller supplies, like needles, sewing threads, pens, pieces of paper, templates… It was like this room had no free space other than the center of it. Well, Lukas supposed this is where he would rehearse, then. Not like there were many other option… The young man closed the door behind him and made a few steps, his eyes looking all around him. He didn’t think it was possible to fit so many things in a single room, but, hey, he was wrong! He then shook his head- it was time to work. After clearing his throat, the student opened his bag and took the script out, flipping the pages up to the parts he had the most trouble remembering. Oh, jeez, he really was doing this, wasn’t he? This was so weird… But whatever paid his bills and his studies, he guessed. And so… He got to work. It was a lot easier to practice when there was no one around. No one to judge him, no one to mock him when he fucked up… Yeah, it made it all easier. Sure, he didn’t have any experience in it, but at least he had to admit it was pretty fun. Nonetheless, he still had no idea why the two directors chose him over an experienced actor like MJ… Like, of course he had noticed the latter was a huge asshole, but other than that, his acting skills were obvious. Maybe he was being used to give MJ a lesson…? This seemed like the most probable explanation. After all, MJ’s presence in the casting was supposed to bring attention to the show… And now, one of the most important roles had been given to a nobody instead. It didn’t seem like a good idea, marketing-wise. Law was his specialty, but that didn’t mean he was stupid when it came to other things. Lukas couldn’t believe he had been chosen for his “talents”, because he had none on that field. After a moment, he paused his practice, shutting his eyes and letting out an exaggerated sigh. Shit, this was distracting him. He couldn’t focus

on his lines. His acting skills, if he had any, were affected by it. It was like something was entering his mind from one side only to disappear through another. Memorizing the words was harder than he had thought it would be the day before, and he couldn’t help but grunt in frustration. Fuck, he knew he was able to remember those lines, he had learned much more complex texts before! This script was simple, so the young man put the blame on his short night of sleep. Furthermore, it was hard to memorize something only by starting the day before… He was about to start again when he heard the door opening behind him, cutting him short. The student turned to the direction of the noise, expecting to see Mike’s face and… Well, in a way, he kinda did. Except it wasn’t Mike. It was MJ, the evil twin. “Oh, fuck me,” he thought, paling up. For fuck’s sake, right after Mike told him to avoid his brother! Was it a joke or something?! Before he even got the chance to speak, MJ’s expression changed from a neutral one to one of utter disgust. Yeah, clearly, the other had expected to see his twin, but… Nope, Lukas had been the one in the room. “Lesson learned, never going back in that workshop alone,” the student told himself, though it was way too late to do anything about it. -“Oh. It’s you,” the actor spat, this time not trying to keep his nice mask on like he had been when they had met the day before: “The fuck are you doing here?” The celebrity’s eyes were glaring at him, all while examining him from top to bottom. It was… Very unpleasant, to be stared at this way. And being talked to like that? Yeah, no, Lukas was perhaps a shy person, but he didn’t want to let anyone walk all over him, especially not an asshole like MJ. Usually, he tended to flee conflict, but today was different. He was way too tired to deal with this shit. -“Yes , hello to you too,” he muttered as an answer, quickly putting his attention back to the script: “Your brother’s not here, but he told me I could use the room in the meantime.” Apparently, his tone didn’t please the actor, whose eyes narrowed in response: -“No kidding, I can see my brother’s not here, dumbass,” he shrugged and rolled his eyes: “I’m not blind.” Oooh, the insult didn’t fall on deaf ears, and it really rubbed Lukas the wrong way. He turned to the celebrity again, this time returning the latter’s glare: -“Well, good for you, I guess,” the student spoke louder than his previous mutter. His annoyance was much more visible, though he still remained polite: “If you’re looking for Mike, he’s with the stagehands.” -“Didn’t ask,” the actor retorted harshly. The other’s eyes then fell on the script, and his expression darkened. Well, shit, this couldn’t be good- and, just like Lukas had predicted, it wasn’t. MJ’s look of hatred was soon replaced by a mocking yet salty expression, one that the student really didn’t like. -“Aw, am I interrupting something?” the celebrity taunted him, leaning against the door frame as a smirk took place on his lips. -“Actually, yes. You are,” Lukas’ patience was running out. God, he wanted to punch that guy so bad… Well, not like he would ever do that, he wasn’t that kind of person. Still, the urge was there. In response to his honest words, the actor scoffed loudly, rolling his eyes again. God, that fucking asshole… -“What, don’t tell me you honestly think you have what it takes!” MJ’s tone had changed from a mocking one to a harsher, meaner one: “You have no idea how to play a role- lemme guess, you never had any theater courses before, hm?” At Lukas’ silence, the celebrity snickered bitterly: -“Yeah, that’s what I thought. You’re just a nobody, a guy who happened to be there at the right time. But you, an actor? Don’t make me laugh. You don’t know shit about acting.” Okay, now that was enough. Politeness was nice and all, but with this guy? No, nu-huh, nope, not happening. In an instant, Lukas’ attempts at remaining civil were thrown away through a window. No one could talk to him like that, and not even his anxiety was

going to silence him. -“Oh, I don’t know shit about acting, that’s right,” he talked back, his tone much more aggressive: “But at least I know how to be a decent person.” -“Excuse me?” MJ’s face showed a mix of bewilderment and fury, probably because no one ever confronted him like this in the past: “I didn’t steal someone else’s job!” -“Hah, that’s rich!” the student scoffed, raising his arms with a scandalized expression: “You lost your job! I didn’t do anything!” his voice echoed in the room as his anger intensified: “If you weren’t such an asshole, maybe you’d have kept your place in the-” However, the student didn’t even get the time to finish his sentence. The celebrity had dashed towards him, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt, bringing their face close as an intimidating gesture: -“Watch your fucking mouth,” was the warning he got from the other, whose eyes were fixed on his: “There are so many things I could do to make your life a living Hell. I have a lot of strings I can pull, and if I were you, I wouldn’t risk that,” the actor’s voice had got lower, like a murmur, a clear threat directed to him. But Lukas was just getting so fucking tired of it. Enough was enough. He grabbed the celebrity’s hand and pulled it away, forcing the latter to let go of him. -“So, let me get this straight: you want to destroy me because I pointed out how much of a jerk you were to everyone? And you still think you’re the decent person out of us two? You might want to rethink that, buddy.” The response he got was yet another glare, though this time there was no spiky answer. “Of course I’m right, asshole, can’t say anything back, now, can you?” he thought to himself, pride swelling inside him. Man, this was perhaps the first argument he ever won… Holy shit, yeah, it was- and he didn’t even stutter! Maybe he needed to be tired more often- yeah, no, that wasn’t a good idea. Air was forced out of his lungs as he was pushed away, though despite the fear of being punched, it never came. The look of pure hatred he was getting from MJ was almost burning him and, for a moment, he really thought he would get attacked- being someone who had never fought anyone, he wasn’t really confident about his abilities to fight back. But all MJ did was to step back to the door, a furious expression written all over his face: -“You wanna play that game with me?” he spat: “Fine. But mark my words, stagehand, I will win.” And not even giving Lukas the time to retort anything, the actor stormed off the room and slammed the door behind him. It screamed “ I am mad, and I want everyone to know that”. Lukas, however, did not give a single fuck about it. Perhaps it was the tiredness speaking (and it was), but if the other wanted to fight, then Lukas would be ready. Well, he probably wouldn’t in hindsight, once his mind cleared up… But at the moment, the young man’s anger was making him blind to many aspects. One of them being that MJ was a famous person who was indeed capable of destroying him, and making him fail his studies with just the right calls. But this wasn’t something Lukas would realize before calming down. And only then, he would ask himself “why the hell couldn’t I keep my mouth shut like usual?!” Until that moment… The student kept rehearsing, though his anger prevented him from actually anything. Today was going to be a long day…

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Hopefully Lukas won't have too much trouble with this jerk of an actor :)c (who I love with all my heart)

=> Chapter 7

#a hat in time fanfiction #a hat in time #ahit #a hat in time the snatcher #a hat in time snatcher #ahit snatcher #ahit the snatcher #ahit mj #ahit fanfiction #ahit au #puppet au #the part-time puppeteer #mike #mj #erekio #erekiosuncreativeideas #fanfiction #tptp

[buckysflannelpajamas]

Bleeding Hearts

Summary: Being Tony Starks daughter has its pros and cons. One of the pros being you get to live with your best friends, the Avengers. One of the cons you will soon find out is having to deal with the one and only, James Buchanan Barnes...

Takes place during the imaginary time after Civil War where everyone love in the tower and goes through to Endgame.

Trigger warning: Talks of depression/depressing thoughts

Chapter 5

2nd person POV

Fading. That's how you describe the feeling when you start to stoop into a depressive episode. You can feel your emotions fading to numbness, and eventually an all encompassing emotional down. Each avenger has their own way of trying to help you through it. Honestly you want to be left alone for the most part, alone to dwell in the sadness you think you deserve. It was harder when you first decided to move back into the tower after living on your own when you had been released from the hospital. In the beginning, you couldn't even get a moment alone. But eventually everyone got into a pattern of how they help you deal with your depression.

Wanda and Vision make you baked goods. Mainly strawberry cupcakes. Wanda comes to deliver them to your room every morning, and subtly implies she will be going shopping later and hinting at you coming. It worked a total of one time. But after having a mental breakdown in the Gucci dressing room you realized it probably wasn’t best for you to be in public when you feel this way.

Steve and your dad are always the most worried. They check on you multiple times a day. Steve also draws you caricatures of avengers and writes something funny underneath them. This is the closest Steve has ever gotten to understanding memes. Tony on the other hand tries to lure you out of your funk by bribing you with a trip to your favorite Korean food restaurant in South Korea via his private jet.

Pepper sends you flowers. The two of you aren’t close and aren't overly fond of eachother. You assume she mainly sends the flowers to please Tony.

Peter constantly sends you memes throughout the day, which you mostly ignore.

No one knows where Thor and Bruce are so it’s safe to say they don't know when you’re suffering, and no one wants to call Clint just to inform him you’re sad again.

Uncle Rhodey usually finds out because Tony needs to vent to someone about his worries. What he does for you by far one of the coolest things. He has a military buddy of his hack into the computers of major entertainment companies so you can see blockbuster movies before they are released.

Natasha, who is sort of a mother figure to you though the two of you would never admit it, comes to you late at night when your insomnia kicks in. Neither of you speak, she simply sits down on your bed beside you and braids your hair while the TV show ‘how it’s made’ plays softly in the background. The two activities always help you to sleep. And on the nights you can’t stop crying, she’ll lie there with you, rubbing your back like a mother calming her child until her tears stop.

Finally, Sam comes in the moment you need it most, right when you are so tired and drained that you’re ready to open up about how you're feeling.

It’s day 3 of your depression and you have just reached that point. Somehow, Sam always knows when you’re ready.

You’re sitting up in bed, bundled up in an exuberant amount of blankets and staring blankly at the wall in front of you. Your mind drifts through a series of depressing thoughts.

Pathetic.

Worthless.

Burden.

These are the words that are most consistently in your mind.

For a moment you consider no longer taking your meds. Sometimes it feels as though they don't work anyway.

That’s when you hear the knock outside your living room door.

“Friday, tell Sam he can come on in.” You mumble to the disembodied AI, your voice raw from all the crying you’ve been doing.

“Of course, miss.” Even Friday sounds saddened by your less than pleasant mental state.

You don’t bother to wipe your tears away, you would be crying soon again anyway.

You hear Sam make his way through your front door, passing through the living area and opening the door to your room.

You notice Sam holding a steaming plate of eggs, sausage, and hash browns in one hand. He must have found out from Friday that all you’ve really eaten this week is Wanda and Visions strawberry cupcakes.

“I would have brought some OJ too but then I wouldn’t have been able to open the door.” Sam jokes. He takes a quick glance around your room, trying to gauge how bad the episode is. Used tissues cover the floor by the right side of the bed. Worn pajamas are strewn around on the floor and the pile of clothes you leave on your chair hasn’t been cleaned up. You usually clean it once a week. Not to mention your greasy hair makes it obvious that you haven’t showered in a few days.

“Pretty bad, huh?” Sam asks.

“Yeah.” You answer honestly. You don’t need to bullshit with Sam.

He takes a seat by you on the bed, placing the food in front of you. “You hungry?”

“Yeah, but-“

“But you feel like you deserve the pain?”

“You know that.” You sigh.

“Tell me why.”

“You know why too.”

Sam pushes a fork in your hand. “I’m trusting you with this.” He jokes, earning an actual laugh from you before moving on. “I have a general idea, but I don’t like to make assumptions.”

You poke at the eggs with your fork. “I-“ it’s hard to speak. You know at any moment you’re going to break out sobbing. “I feel so weak.” You choke out. “I put the whole team at risk by being naive enough to think a guy wouldn’t try drugging my drink at a crowded party. Even if it is my house.”

Sam doesn't speak yet. He always waits for you to let it all out.

“How could I be so fucking stupid?!” You sob. “I was selfish. Why do you all even keep me around? I’m a liability and a burden to the team. I hate that about myself and I hate that I’m so weak! I hate that no matter how hard I train, I’ll never be strong like any of you! And I know that that’s also selfish because you all went through so much pain to be what you are, but I can’t help but feel insignificant. I’m just some dumb fucking artist that sits around all day doddling while you all are actually doing something meaningfull in the world!” There it is. The root of what triggered your episode. It’s not just about Authur. It's about the fact that you can’t protect yourself. It’s the constant feeling of insignificance that lingers in the back of your mind.

Sam puts a hand on your shoulder and squeezes it gently. “First of all, you’re not just some dumb fucking artist.” He quotes you. “You are a world renowned artist and you should be proud of it. More importantly, you are not insignificant or a burden. Ok? If we didn’t want you around, you wouldn’t be here. We all love you and want you to be here with us. You’re part of our family. You might not be on the front lines, but you do more for the world than you know.”

You roll your eyes. “Yeah I doubt that.”

“I mean it.” Sam Insists. “You said so yourself that you know how much pain we’ve been through. How do you think the avengers would keep it together without their own little therapist.” He laughs lightly.

You furrow your brows. “Um, Sam, I’m not a therapist. I can barely keep myself together.”

“You might not be licensed but you are always there for us. Getting us to talk through our thoughts and feelings. Giving us advice and helping us come to a resolution.”

“That’s what friends are for.” You shrug.

“Yeah well friends don’t usually have to deal with their other friends' war trauma and helping them deal with finding out their best friend they thought was dead is actually alive and actively trying to kill them.”

You stay silent for a moment. “I guess that’s true.”

Sam pats you lightly on the back. “You keep the avengers sane so that we can help the world. Which is just as important.”

Finally, you take a bite of your eggs. “I disagree that it’s just important but I know that argument won’t go anywhere, so I’ll just accept it.”

“I know that this conversation won’t solve all of life's problems, but maybe it helped you feel good enough to to get up out of bed? Maybe get up and take a shower? No offense, but you don’t exactly smell like daisies.” He laughs.

You shove Sam in the arm. “Hey! You should take a whiff of yourself after you come back from a mission.”

“Touché.” Sam pauses, noticing something on your bedside table.

“Sour gummy worms? That’s not part of your usual routine…” Sam trails of, reaching over you to grab the box of candy before you have a chance to stop him.

“Wait-”

It's too late, he sees the note written in scribbly cursive on the piece of paper attached to the back of the box.

“Who’s this from?” He asks curiously, hoping from your bed and moving around as you chase him down, frantically trying to remove the letter from his grasp.

“Sam stop!”

“Dear y/n,” Sam starts to read aloud. “I don’t pity you. I relate to you. When I said I’m sorry I meant it.”

You jump, reaching for the letter but Sam moves it high above his head.

He continues to read. “I meant to tell you sorry before the party. I only blew up at the hospital because I was mad at myself for letting someone on the team get hurt. I shouldn’t have been such an asshole to you. I know it’s a lousy excuse but I was just jealous of your happiness. If you give me the chance, I’d like to make it up to you. I heard you like Star Wars. I haven’t seen the movies… maybe we can watch them sometime? Sincerely, James Buchanan Barnes.”

Sam looks at you with the biggest shit eating grin on his face. “You two got a movie date?”

You finally snatch the candy and letter from his hand. “See this is why I didn’t want you to read it! I knew you would take it that way.” You pout.

“How else am I supposed to take it?” Sam laughs.

“Like a guy with a guilty conscience is trying to be nice to the sad girl.” You say as if it’s the most obvious thing ever.

“You can be so blind to some things.” He shakes his head.

You furrow your brows. “What do you mean?”

Sam takes a seat back down at the end of your bed. “Everyone living in the tower can tell he has the hots for you.” He pauses in thought. “Expect for Tony. Barnes would be as good as dead if he knew.”

“You’ve been talking to Nat and Wanda, haven’t you?”

“And Steve and Vision.” He grins. “We have a whole group text dedicated to the conversation.”

“Great.” You groan, rubbing your temples as you take a seat by Sam on the bed.

“Look, you don’t have to believe me. But you should at least give him a chance to make it up to you. I’m not Barnes biggest fan, but he’s really not a bad guy.”

You open your mouth to protest, but Sam interrupts you.

“Just think about it, ok?” Sam gets up from your bed, making his way to the door. “And take a shower in the meantime! You stink little sister!”

You grab a pillow and throw it at him, the pillow only managing to hit the door as he closes it.

“And eat some food too!”

#sebastian stan #bucky barnes #sam wilson #bucky barnes x stark!reader #bucky barnes x reader

[meeko-mar]

Leak day is approaching, how we feeling? 

I’ve had this bouncing around my drafts for a little while, a little idea that hooked itself into my mind. Who’s up for some BKDK Healing/Recovery Arc fluff?? 

I'm still deeply hoping for some slower, softer chapters to follow this VERY INTENSE war arc. I know a lot of ideas out there are operating under the concept of the boys healing TOGETHER in a hospital room, but like hear me out... 

What if they start out at the hospital SEPERATELY and have to agonizingly wait until they’re better healed before they see each other? What if they can’t stand to wait any longer?

Spoilers for like...chapter 285 and beyond.

The nurses at the hospital had of course heard of Katsuki Bakugou, the boy who’d won the broadcasted UA Sports Festival. They had an inkling of the student’s more...aggressive tendencies. They steeled themselves for a potentially frustrating time managing and healing the reactive teenager.

The Doctors had done their best with his wounds in surgery as soon as he was admitted, got him stable with some much-needed blood transfusions, and sent him to rest and recover under the watch of a handful of night shift nurses. He was expected to wake sometime in the morning. 

And yet, it was still the deep dark of night, when a tell-tale yell erupted from within the room with his name scribbled hastily onto the nameplate. 

By the time the closest nurse turned the corner into the room, Katsuki was already pushing himself up with his good arm. Gritting his teeth, he swore aloud as stars popped in his blurry vision...but persisted in trying to lever himself out of bed. IV lines swung and tugged dangerously as he struggled.

The nurse rushed to the bedside as he tried to lean out the bed, but swayed from the vertigo. Pain exploded in his wounds, it felt like white hot coals had been dumped right into his gut and his left side.

“Young man, you need to lay down for now, your wounds..!” 

“D-don’t tell me what to do!” Katsuki growled, in almost a feral state. Despite the drugs in his system, he was still in survival mode. His crimson eyes landed on her, still unfocused, delirious. 

“Deku--Where...” He demanded again, voice cracking in desperation, still supported on one violently shaking arm. He squinted and blinked frantically; Why couldn’t he see straight?? 

The nurse grasped his good shoulder and eased the student back down into bed. Katsuki’s strong frame was resistant, but weakened by his injuries and lack of stamina. Even his willpower wavered with his consciousness.

“We can talk in the morning,” She assured in a calming voice. “But you need to sleep now, and stay put.”

Katsuki’s back connected again with the hospital bed, and it felt to him like it was grabbing him, keeping him there, and pulling him down into some dense fog. As his mind quickly began to drift, he wondered if the woman above him had some sort of sleep-aid Quirk. He blinked at the ceiling tiles and dimmed lights above, as the nurse adjusted his dosage, checked his IV, and logged notes on his condition. Another nurse hurried in, and they spoke quietly.

“What the hell...” Katsuki trailed off. 

Both nurses flitted from the room, and Katsuki was alone in the darkness as it swallowed him.

“...De...ku...”

---

Katsuki didn’t have any idea how long it was that he was asleep. But as his eyes tried to flutter open again, they were met with soft light. And a silence that was almost jarring, after the battle, and after the frantic nightmares. 

Nightmares...Aerial battles, explosions of green light...bursts of red....Black obsidian tendrils tearing through the air...

With a turn of his stomach, his eyes suddenly shot open, once again looking at a hospital room ceiling. Daylight was filtered out by thick curtains, and not far away, his parents seemed to have been keeping a vigil, each occupying a chair, leaning against each other in slumber. 

His sight became a bit more focused and adjusted to the light, but his breathing intensified. He looked to his other side, and found he was in a private room. The door was shut at the moment; he was boxed in. 

A flash of green energy played across his mind again....And a sick, charred hand that had reached out...

He felt a pain blossom in his abdomen as his breathing continued to spike.

He heard Deku’s yells in his mind again, and he once more felt the intense need to get up. His unrestricted hand clamped around the guards on the side of the bed, hoping for an anchor. Gritting his teeth against the fire in his gut, he tried to pull himself forward  

“Hey...Hey!” He tried to yell, but it came out so hoarse, he growled and forced more of his pained breath into it. “Old hag!” 

Mitsuki blinked awake, and jumped to see Katsuki staring back at her. Masaru awoke as well. and breathed a sigh of relief. Something twinkled in his son’s eyes that he was certain he’d never seen there before.

“Katsuki! Sit back down!! You’ll reopen your wounds!!” Mitsuki yells, surging to her feet.

“Don’t give a shit! Where the Hell is he?” Katsuki raged, once again pushing up with his good arm. His chest shuddered with hyperventilating breaths, and he felt as if it was threatening to tear him back apart. “Deku...Where’s Deku!” 

“Deku?” His father asked, a bit confused. 

“...Inko’s boy?” Mitsuki supplied, looking at Masaru as well. “Inko came to the hospital too, but...We haven’t seen her.” 

“Dammit!!” Katsuki practically yelled, and tossed a venomous look towards the door. His fingers flexed with an overwhelming urge to blow the damn thing off its hinges. “What about All Might?? Or Half and Half, or fucking anyone who knows what the fuck’s going on?!” 

“You settle the Hell down, brat, or I’ll make you!” Mitsuki loomed over him, a hand clamped tightly on the top of his head and forcing him back against his pillows. Katsuki glared at her, teeth bared and nostrils flaring, absolutely hating how weak he was to resist. “You’re damn lucky that whatever it was didn’t hit anything vital, but you almost bled out on the battlefield! You’re not going anywhere!! Don’t be a damn idiot!”

Katsuki tuned the rest of her words out. He was pretty sure she was turning to his father and going off on just how fucked this entire mission was, the insanity of putting teenagers who were clearly unprepared for the level of destruction that was involved...How none of them seemed to be properly informed of what the kids had been getting into. 

They might have been discussing the prospect of Katsuki even going back to U.A. at this point, but he didn’t care. He couldn’t muster up a single iota of a crap to give over that right now. 

He stared past his parents, at that damned door, waiting. Waiting with clenched fists, once again confined to laying against his uncomfortable pillows. His wounds were still too painful to move even if he wanted to. While somewhere out there...

Deku was somewhere out in that hospital, condition unknown. Red eyes glinted with moisture. 

Come on. 

Someone. Anyone. Come through that damn door...

He couldn’t believe how damn desperate he felt.

Tell me he’s safe. 

---

Katsuki was loathe to comply with any procedures and check ups the nurses had to run on him for the days to follow. He grew more and more aggravated the longer it went on, the more they told him to wait. It was a developing situation, and there were so, so many civilians and Heroes in the hospital from that battle, the nurses didn’t have any time to prioritize seeking out any information on Izuku’s condition for him.

He crossed in and out of sleep all day and night. He couldn’t control it, between the pain and the meds, and even the sheer boredom of not having anything to do but agonize. He could only logically badger his parents so much concerning information he knew they didn’t have. 

Sometimes sleep was a relief. A chance to pass time without thinking so deeply about everything. 

Sometimes, it just gave him more nightmares and stress, and woke him with another hit of desperation to find closure for the battle he’d survived, confirmation that his best friends had made it out alive too. 

News finally came when he woke up early in the next morning.

All Might appeared in the door way with eyes that seemed more cast in shadow than usual. Katsuki’s crimson eyes locked him and he immediately tried once more to pull himself up and forward. After the initial establishing conversation, All Might pleaded for privacy from his parents with a deep bow, and as they left the room, All Might drew himself back up. Blue eyes couldn’t quite meet Katuski’s. 

“Start talking.” Katsuki grunted, and All Might pulled up a chair. 

---

Izuku was lost in a long dream. 

He was trying desperately to find the Vestiges again... He either couldn’t reach them, or...they were gone for good. He couldn’t quite remember, and the answer was so slippery it kept evading him. 

Sometimes he would be minutely aware of what was going on around him in the physical world. Doctors. Nurses. Probes, needles, foreign hands.  

Recovery Girl’s voice...Mom’s voice. 

On the other hand, Nana’s voice. The First. Tomura Shigaraki. All For One.

He couldn’t quite grasp either side, and would be pulled once again into the dreams. It was as if he were stuck on a dizzying pendulum. 

He gave in and floated for a while. 

--- 

Hours passed, and little changed for Izuku. But as he seemed to surface back into the world, bits and pieces came back and fell into place in his mind. All of the things that had transpired. His slumbering mind could begin to process it, and make sense of it. Little by little. 

By the time emerald eyes cracked open, Izuku had realized, he must have been asleep for quite some time. He had enough experience to recognize that he’d landed in the hospital, but felt powerless to assess how bad it was. He still felt hauntingly unattached to any of his limbs for the time being, no strength left to attempt to move them. He must have been heavily drugged by this point.

He wondered about Shigaraki, if he was also reduced to a quasi-sense of being, forced to lay low, let his mangled body regenerate. He prayed that the villain would be in such a phase for a while. Izuku knew there was no way he, or any of the heroes, could handle a rematch. Maybe not for quite a while, even.

A fleeting thought, however, as it was quickly overtaken by an urgent need to know the outcomes of so many....too many, of his friends, teachers and allies. Civilians, even. Aizawa, Gran Torino, Endeavour, all injured in battle. Shoto, his dear friend, and....

Kacchan.

The realization made a spike of anxiety lance through his chest like a knife.

Dear god, Kacchan. Was he...

“Ka...cchan--” Deku murmured, suddenly, feeling the tears pooling in his eyes. His poor mother, keeping a vigil by his side, leapt up and pressed a soft hand to his forehead, quivering voice crying with encouragement for her son. 

“Mom, he...” Izuku whimpered, finally focusing on something for the first time, in his mother’s eyes. “Kacchan...The others...I couldn’t...” 

As quickly as it had come, his resolve was gone, and his broken body wracked with sobs. His determination that had held him through the battle before losing consciousness, the rage, the adrenaline, was gone, and all that remained was the heartache that came from such destruction, from seeing his mentors and friends torn down one by one.

The image of blood suspended in air, and a shadow of a figure falling towards the Earth, stained his vision. 

---

Days into Katsuki’s stay at the hospital, All Might visited again. The man still had so many new lines on his face, though he was heartened to see Katsuki, determined as he was, recovering and gaining focus quickly. Though with the focus, came that trademark, Bakugou impatience.

“He’s still in surgery!?” Katsuki yelled.

“More like, in and out of Surgery. They can only do so much at one time, even Recovery Girl could barely work with him, his stamina is almost non-existent right now...” All Might sighed. “And, there’s no shortage of other patients for her, unfortunately.” He said sadly, sipping a cup of tea with a white knuckled grip. 

“That bad, huh.” Katsuki sneered, looking away from the man. Softly, he muttered, “Fuckin’ Deku.” 

All Might smiled a deeply sad smile. 

It had sounded spiteful, to the untrained ear, but by now, he could recognize how deep Katsuki’s concern really went.

---

One week after the incident at Jakku found Katsuki well enough to finally feel the cold tile beneath his bare feet again. Short walks were in order, as he was allowed to pace in his room every once in a while. The taste of regained autonomy was amazing, but he still felt the need to rest after very short walks, the wounds in his core still on the mend. Steps were small, and few, but Katsuki was feeling better for the improvement. 

He leaned against the edge of his bed, muscles still stiff. Left arm in a sling, and right hand gently set on his stomach, he breathed deeply as he was able, assessing what his body was telling him.

He was gradually getting better, and the next goal was finally heading out that door. Fierce red eyes could have shattered the wood of the door, now left open just a crack. They couldn’t keep him in here forever.

---

“Good news,” All Might had told him, looking a little brighter. “They’ve moved Young Midoriya to the recovery ward. They’ve done everything they can for the boy, now all that’s left is to see how his limbs heal.” 

Finally, Katsuki had thought. He was getting tired of waiting for the nerd to recover.

He scowled as he stalked out that door, and into the hospital hallway. His mended wounds still throbbed with each tender step, but the pain was becoming more and more dull everyday. He was itching to be able to get into physical therapy, and recuperate his body back into peak condition. 

The ache in his shoulder gave him the most unease...His arms and shoulders needed to be up to taking the brunt of his Quirk. There was no time to lose in recovering those tissues, and he locked away any fears of never living up to his previous output, never being able to surpass it...He just couldn’t think of that right now.

Slippers scuffed against clean linoleum. Around the corner and nine doors down, All Might had said. He rounded the corner, and came, abruptly, to a stop, all inner thoughts ceasing. Crimson eyes had fallen on a figure ahead of him, and locked, his jaw dropping just slightly. 

There before him, clearly in a state of dizziness, was Izuku himself. Of course, he seemed to be muttering to himself, staring intently at the name plates of each room he was passing.

Their eyes met.  

His arms were bound up in thick casts once again, and in slings over his stomach, and bandages covered almost his entire torso in lieu of any shirt. Izuku stared back, large emerald eyes tired and glistening. He seemed to tremble at the sight of Katsuki, and the moisture in his eyes threatened to over flow. 

“K-Kacchan,” He whimpered, blinking back the sudden tears, unable to wipe them away. 

Katsuki's body suddenly unlocked, and he marched up on the other boy, as hard and as fast as his body would permit. 

“What the fuck, Deku?!” Katsuki scolded. He planted a palm on the top of Izuku’s green head of hair, tilting his tear-stained face up to look at him. “Damn nerd, What the Hell are you doing out of bed?!” 

“Kacchan,” Izuku sniffed, staring up into crimson eyes without an ounce of restraint on his emotions. “Y-you’re out of bed too...Are you okay?” 

Katsuki twitched at the question, a reflex reaction now due to long years of rejection to the nerd’s selfless worries. 

“Don’t you switch this around! I’m not the one who just got out of surgery!” Katsuki barked, ignorant to any stares from passersby they were drawing. “You shouldn’t be able to move, dammit!!”

“It’s okay, I mean, my legs feel totally fine!” Izuku argued weakly, even as his legs seemed to quiver just slightly beneath him. For the first time in the exchange, a hint of a dismissive, but pained grin tugged at his lips. There was still a very visible split on his bottom lip. 

“That’s not the point, you--!!” Bakugou growled behind gritted teeth, fingers twitching impulsively under the messy nest of hair. How was he ever going to get through that thick skull of Deku’s??

“Please, Kacchan,” Izuku urged, “I know, I shouldn’t be out here yet, but I had to know for sure....that you were ok...I thought I’d really lost you...” He was beginning to choke on his words. 

“They told you I was fine, so why go out of your damn way?! Why get outta bed when you can barely stand up straight, huh??” Katsuki retorted.

“I’m not explaining how much more it’d hurt if you were gone!” Izuku cried, and raised his head against Katsuki’s hand, cheeks flushed. He shook his head just gently, feeling a headache blossoming. “It’s not logical, I was...I was afraid, okay?! I have nightmares every time I close my eyes, telling me that Shigaraki kill-... took you away, or Todoroki wasn’t able to help you in time. It keeps replaying in my mind, and...And if it hadn’t been for me...” 

He was gulping in air at this point, the words themselves seeming to scar him as he acknowledged their effect on him. Katsuki was unsurprised by the tears flowing anew, but something about the tremor in Izuku’s voice, shook him.

“I had to see you. And if my legs would work, then...There’s no way I could stop myself.” Although tired, his eyes glinted with that stubborn edge. It was the same, almost scared look of determination that had looked at him in the dark hallways of their first training exercise all those months ago...The first time they’d fought.

Wide crimson eyes held steady, and he noticed the shadows under the boy’s eyes, shadows of bruises that lingered against his freckles. 

The hand that was on Izuku’s head suddenly shifted to the back of his head and he pulled gently, until Izuku’s forehead connected with Katsuki’s uninjured shoulder. Katsuki’s strong arm almost cradled him there in a half-embrace. A moment’s hesitation, and then his fingers curled around the deep, unruly green locks. Not to hurt, or threaten, never again... 

“Idiot... Idiot. How the fuck do you think I feel?!” Katsuki muttered shakily against Izuku’s bowed head, his features furrowing. “Don’t you ever...fight like that again.” He bit his lip ferociously as it quivered, before any more words could spill out. 

Izuku felt tense for a moment, adjusting to this strange new reality. In time, he eased, leaning into Katsuki’s offered shoulder, feeling the warmth of the arm curled around him. He felt a pang of guilt for being so overjoyed that Katsuki was here with him when so much had been lost...And another wave of surprise and contemplation as Katsuki’s words pinged around in his head. Even so, he dared to smile a broken smile into Katsuki’s shoulder, where no one in the world could see.

He only wished that his own hands were free so he could reciprocate the gentle gesture that was so exceedingly rare from the blonde, but so comforting. 

Katsuki grimaced, but made no objection when tears began to soak the fabric of his shirt. The weight and the warmth of Izuku’s head against him was oddly comforting to him. A quivering sigh of relief escaped him, his cheek buried in green curls. 

Reluctantly, the thought dawned on him; This is okay. Whatever this is...was worth the damn wait. 

Turns out the wait was actually much, much longer than the time spent in the hospital. 

---

*BONUS* owo

I DID happen to doodle the moment that really locked this into my mind and made me have to write this; I literally drew these at slow moments at work on receipt paper. (scanned a tad bit out of chrono. order though)

ALSO A NOTE: 

I happened to fixate on this idea of Kacchan always grabbing Deku by the head(there was a post with a lot of this floating around not too long ago) and I’m convinced it’s part of his own unique language. You may have noticed, I threw in the little detail of contrast with how his mother in fact does the same thing, but forcefully, and exerting dominance over her son. Kacchan uses it this time to communicate with Deku, but it ends up being more gentle and as a comfort. 

YES PARELELLS. 

If I ever have time and inclination, I would love to redo these little doodles, honestly = u =  

ANYWAY thank  you if you’ve made it this far, I hope you liked :D

#Bakudeku #BKDK #katsudeku #bnha spoilers #Post-war-arc #Katsuki has trouble with emotions #Speculation #HEALING ARC PLS #bnha fanfic #bnha fluff #bkdk fluff #oneshot #mostly Kacchans POV bc I enjoy writing him #and honestly he'd be conscious probably much sooner than Izuku? #Izuku is very very injured and he's gonna have to be in surgery for a while I'm betting

[blu-archer]

Mr. Park’s return

So, I’m not sure what to make of this really... like it’s not really a sickfic thing - I don’t know.. it might be, I’ll just say it classifies, it’s more of like a little continuation bit in this series and because I felt like writing about it... I’ve had this sitting with me for a while, so I may as well post it.. it felt a bit everywhere, there’s some knew characters I just tossed in because I needed too and we’ll just see where that leads, yeah? 

[there is probably grammatical errors, my first language is English I just can’t proof read - its a rough life] anyway, I hope this is somewhat enjoyable, its kind of a mess

This is supposed to be just a small filler type thing I guess

Snz based but like its rather mild.

‘Sickie’ : Jimin / [Felix? its faint really]/ [Yoongi is mentioned, but yeah]

 Hybrid AU

 Part 1,  Part 2 , Part 3

Word count: 5376

I tossed some Stray Kids in here because I love them too. 

“Good morning everyone.” Jimin smiled at the class of juniors settling in their seats as warmly as he could considering that he was still trying to recover from days of fever. He still felt tired and a weak, with some lingering symptoms, but he was tired staying at home doing nothing.  He needed to work again, get back into a routine so that he wasn’t lazing around all the time. So, he had suited up in warm clothes and more makeup than usual to hide the dark rings that had still not left him.

The class stared at him with a mix of confusion and curiosity before greeting him with about the same enthusiasm he had done to them. He supposed that was fair, it wasn’t like they knew who he was really.

He cleared his throat, dropping the exam booklets onto the desk set up in the front of the room, before continuing on with as much forced giddiness as he could manage. No one wanted to head into an exam with a dark unwelcoming mood, so if he could brighten it by even an inch then he would be happy.

 “I’m Mr. Park, I’ll be your teacher for this exam.” As if to serve as a reminder, something caught in his throat and he smothered a small bout of coughs into his arm. “Please excuse my voice, I’ve been a little under the weather.”

It didn’t take long before a few voices rose up, which was not surprising considering majority of the class had probably never seen him before. it had become blatantly obvious that most of the students had wanted to spend much more attention on their paper. He didn’t blame them, anyone would want to be distracted from exams and he usually wouldn’t mind, he loved to gossip and get to know the students and they always seemed to be as interested in him as he was in what they were like, but even with the amount of lozenges he’d sucked on that morning already, his voice was definitely going to give out if he spoke for long.

 “What do you teach Sir?”

“You look so young.”

“Mr. Park! What are you doing here?”

“Are you new?”

“What type of Hybrid are you?”

 Jimin looked to students who had spoken up. Most dressed or styled slightly different from the standard uniform, clearly these were the usual extrovert favourites. He tried to ignore the more intrusive questions and focus more on the ones of innocent curiosity. A wide grin split across his face and his sight narrowed as he recognised one girl that he taught in modern contemporary. Jimin pressed his square framed glasses further up his nose, his tail flicking as the girl waved her arm wildly from the back of the class.

 “Sana? Oh, it’s weird seeing you out of class.” Jimin chuckled lightly, giving a small wave in return. “Most of you probably won’t know me, but I’ve been a part of the dance faculty for I think about three years now. I usually only interacted in the other art departments during these times, but this year the school thought it would be better to shift things around a bit. I think I only know Sana… oh wait, Soobin’s here too. Wow, it feels like forever since I’ve seen you two…” His chest warmed with the pleasure of seeing at least some of his kids.

 “Sir, what are you doing back?” Soobin grinned and leant forward from when he sat on top of his friends desk. “Mr. Jung said that you probably wouldn’t be back for at least another week.”

 “Not quite.” Jimin corrected, moving closer to his student. “It’s just not as heavy a work-load as usual. Are you ready for your exams? And you Sana? I feel so bad for not being there in your final sessions.”

 “I think we’re both glad that you rested rather than pushed to be there with us.” Sana grinned, packing away her English textbooks. “I haven’t done mine yet but Soobin had his exam yesterday.”

Jimin’s eyes shot to the boy who merely shrugged, although the bright flash in the fae boys eyes led Jimin to believe he did better than he wanted to portray. Which was good. Great, actually. His students were amazing.

 “Ahhh… why do I get the feeling that none of you did any real dancing while I was away… Anyway, don’t stress over it. Deep breathes and smooth lines. It’s nothing you haven’t done before.” Jimin countered to Sana before stepping back to address the class once again, coughing into his arm again – slightly harsher this time. He answered and entertained a few more questions from the students that he didn’t know before finally calling it. “Okay, we should probably start soon. May everyone please start packing away any studying material. And is everyone present for this exam?”

 “Mr. Park, Sir.” A trio of girls, each with unique traits that led him to believe they were all either warlocks or fae, waved to him from the side of the class closest to the wall of windows.

 “Yes?”

 “So, you’re a dancer, Mr. Park? Can you show us something?” The one with golden eyes smirked and Jimin’s chest tightened, knowing that her suggestive tone wasn’t one of humour or general curiosity. Kids. They were kids.

 “I am, but we have more important things.” He chose to ignore the low whining that erupted from them. “Clear your desks please, you don’t seem to be going over notes anyway. I am assuming that everyone is here, which means we are going to begin.”

   He returned to the desk without glancing at the girls again. The session had officially started.

Once desks were clear he began to hand out transcripts, only letting them turn through the pages once each student had one. It was a bit of a struggle, with how hoarse his voice was quickly becoming – given that he hadn’t needed to use it as much in the past few days as he was now, but he managed to read through the paper with them to make sure there were no immediate errors then set them forth on the 3-hour paper. Even though it made him drowsy he snuck a few pills in after he stifled a sneeze into his wrist. He wanted to try keep any and all symptoms to a minimum as to not distract anyone, but it was difficult when the class only had the scribbling sound of pens on paper to fill it with noise.

He sipped the tea from his flask that he was certain Yoongi had spiked with some type of herbal energy booster before Jimin had left that morning. The hybrid couldn’t help the wholesome warmth that ran through him at the thought of the worrisome warlock. Despite Yoongi being powerful and often intimidating to those who didn’t know him, Jimin knew that the elder was in-fact a big softy that was usually too shy to address things that  stressed him out. Especially if it was about the people he cared for. Instead he was prone to small actions that he thought would help lift any burdens or stressors, for both him and whoever he helped – in this case, Jimin. Yoongi hadn’t even wanted him to start at the school again yet, even for short hours, but after the hybrid had spoken some sense into him – that it was Jimin’s job and everyone, including Yoongi himself, had  worked while sick at some point – Yoongi eventually caved.

Although that didn’t stop him from being a bit clingier than usual, and definitely didn’t stop him from wrapping Jimin entirely in the Warlocks clothes so that his scent was with him all day. Not that Jimin minded being completed drenched in the elders scent and the clothes that were just a bit too big for him always made him feel warm and comforted. The last week that Jimin had spent at home with his boyfriend had been amazing, even if he had been a miserable mess for most of it.

Jimin had just finished firing off emails to the other dance staff members about how everything was going with the dance exams and if there are still students looking for last minute help when he felt the sad realisation that his med’s had been easing off. He hadn’t brought enough for a second dose and he could already feel his nose starting to run. The exam was almost over, just another hour or so and then he was free to be a mess again. But that wasn’t what his body had in mind.

He’inxshew… hih..Hieshxngt hXNGst..

 Damn it.

Jimin sniffed and wiped at his nose with a tissue. Thankfully he had thought to bring quite a few of the tissue travel packs with him, Yoongi had tried to slip an entire box of Kleenex into Jimin’s bag but the hybrid found that to be a bit excessive. His tail curled around his waist as he felt the gazes of a few of the students that were already finished or were checking through their work, but there wasn’t much he could do about it. He sniffed repeatedly, trying to be as soft and quiet as possible but it only seemed to make matters worse as he snapped forward with another sneeze that he caught by pinching at his nose. Stifling was a bit painful, especially with how congested he had been, but he would bear with it.

He stifled four more before he had to come to terms with the fact that he could not try to sniffle to keep it at bay anymore. So he claimed fresh tissues to blow his nose, wincing and sending apologetic eyes to the students at the wet gurgling sound that filled the room. Jimin’s face was heated and he swallowed hard trying to work past his embarrassment. The students probably didn’t even care that much. But he still felt like the floor should open to let him fall through it.

He perked as a hand shot up, the student mouthing for more paper. Jimin threw away his tissues, doing his best to ignore how gross he was momentarily felt, and after a quick squirt his trusty hand sanitiser that Jin made him carry,  he was up and handing out pages. Taking that moment of already being up to slowly walk around and check if anyone else needing anything from him. He tried not to linger too much when he noticed Soobin gnawing at his bottom lip. A quick glance and Jimin could tell that the boy was struggling with understanding some of the things being asked of him and he didn’t want to add any extra pressure of being hovered over. Clearly the boy was unfortunately – in this case - closer inclined to the creative arts than he was to general studies.

 “Si-Sir?”

 Jimin followed the soft whisper to a thin, pale dog hybrid who looked anxious just to have to look Jimin in the eye. Jimin cleared his throat to try get rid of the insistent itch that seemed to plague him and leant down so that the boy wouldn’t have to look up at him when he spoke. It wasn’t often that someone reacted intimidated by Jimin, so he was left a bit unsure. The few handfuls of times that he could remember being anything close to scary were strictly associated with his dancers or the few times he got into arguments with his friends, but usually everyone saw him as a soft and gentle hybrid that they could either try to walk all over or have pleasant easy conversations with. No real threat.

Jimin rested his hand on the edge of the desk to steady himself, then silently inclined his head to indicate that the boy could continue.

 “I-I don’t feel.. feel well.”

 Jimin gently rested a hand on the boys back only to frown at how sharp the hybrid’s bones were beneath his clothing. “What do you mean? Are you stressed? Sick? Do you feel nauseous?”

The boy merely nodded and swallowed loudly, sinking further away from Jimin.

 “Do you want to go to the nurse?” he asked softly. Looking more closely at the boys’ face, his oddly sharp facial structure and sunken cheeks. He had originally seen the bruises under the boys eyes as a part of the exam season stress but maybe there was something else happening.. When he got the nod of approval Jimin set his hand on the boys exam paper. “Do you want to keep this for now, or should I take it?”

 “Take it.”  

 Okay then. Jimin stood up, slipping the exam paper from the students desk, and bringing it back to his station, making note of the foreign name, ‘Felix’, filled in at the top right corner. Then he moved to the intercom attached to the wall behind his desk chair and held the button that connected him to the head office. “Hi, could we please have someone come to room 48? I need a student to be taken to the nurses office.”

A garbled reply came back at him that he could only hope meant that someone would be sent soon. In the meantime, Jimin dug in his bag until he retrieved a sealed bottle of water. It wasn’t as cold as it had been when he had bought it, but it would do. He returned to the boy who had now buried his face into his hands, taking deep shaky breaths.

 “Felix… can you try taking some small sips of water for me?” Jimin knelt beside the desk once more, twisting off the cap of the bottle. “Just a few? When last did you eat or drink something?”

He didn’t get much of a response other than the hybrid lifting his head enough to look at the open water before shakily taking it from Jimin. He took the smallest of sips before just sitting there with his eyes tightly shut.

 “Okay.” Jimin rubbed Felix’s back and stood up again, coughing into his arm before letting out a restrained groan. “Everyone, you have 40 minutes left. If you’re finishing off or just sitting there, then go through your answers again and make sure you’ve read the questions carefully.”  

 It was almost ten minutes before Jimin heard a soft knock on the door.

Felix had been sitting with his hands pressed tightly against his eyes, leaning heavily on his elbows while taking stuttering breaths. Jimin had been hovering with concern, but there wasn’t anything he could really do to help. The dog hybrid pretty much shunned him every time he murmured a gentle question or soothing words.

Jimin left his spot next to the sick boy, giving a quick glance over the class to find that at least a third of them were watching him and not going over their work like he’d encouraged, but he called out a brief ‘half an hour left’ and moved to open the door.

 “Jimin?”

 “Jin.” Jimin let out a heavy breath, running a finger under his nose before leaning closer to the concerned elder. Silently thanking that their office employees had thought to call the school nurse directly and not some random other teacher to walk the boy to a better environment. “Hi, I’m not sure how sick this boy is, but he has a fever and I think he might be nauseous. He couldn’t tell me if it was from anxiety or something else so… He didn’t seem too keen on talking to me at all actually. I just gave him water.”

Jin nodded, wiping his hands on his jeans before stepping forward to move into the class. For a moment he looked like he wanted to question Jimin on something else but thought better of it.

 “Where are they?”

Jimin pointed him out and then stood back, trying his best to watch over the rest of the class and not interfere with Jin as he prompted a few words out of Felix – mostly about what he felt like and whether he was okay to walk - before helping him stand. The witch had to wrap an arm around the boys waist to kept him steady and they were forced to move at a slow pace, but Jin just murmured soft barely audible words of encouragement until they’d reached the door. Jimin lay a steadying hand on Jin’s arm before biting at his lip.

 “Do you need help getting back? I can ask the office to send another person..”

 “We’re fine Jimin.” Jin reassures, his hand rubbing gently at Felix’s side. “I know him, I’d rather just move slowly and not stress him out too much. You can come by in a bit if you’re worried, but I’ve got it.”

 Jimin let them go, closing the door softly behind them trying to ignore the tears that had sprung to Felix’s eyes as soon as the pair had left the room. Distracted, he gave a final slow walk through the rows of students. Most of them were finished now, some had lain down over their desks while others fiddled with their stationery. He gave a pleased nod to see that at least two students where carefully reading through their work and added to certain places, and then he passed Soobin. The boy had completely drawn over the back of his exam paper with dark detailed sketches that  couldn’t have been done quickly. Jimin winced at the thought of how the boys answers must look, and took it has a hint to sit the rest of the time at his desk where he sipped at the final bit of his now lukewarm tea.

He sent a few carefree texts to Yoongi, who had been complaining bitterly about having to stay at home for the day. Apparently he had tried to talk Namjoon into letting him work but the clumsy witch had threatened to jinx the elder if Yoongi came in to work. Jimin smiled at his boyfriend’s irritated messages, knowing that the warlock was probably still in bed despite him having his studio there if he really wanted to work.

He still felt a bit bad about getting Yoongi sick, but the warlock had thankfully always been a quick healer, so hopefully if he rested for a day or two then he would be fine. Jimin sent a final ‘see you in a bit! Love you!’ before he readied up the exam folder to retrieve the papers.

 He coughed once into his fist, pushing up his glasses instinctively afterwards, then gave a soft smile. “Okay guys, if anyone is still writing I’m going to need you to stop.”

*

   “Jin? You in here?” Jimin peeked into the small nurses office only to find it empty, ignoring how his voice had cracked. The desk had been pushed neatly to the side and had an open medical bag with some scattered medications on it but other than that and the locker off to the side that held Jin’s personal things, the room was impeccably clean. Although that shouldn’t surprise him, it was a nurses office. “Soekjin?”

 He heard a soft reply and then Jin appeared, ducking through the white curtain that basically blended into the wall. The sectioned off area for those that needed a bed to lay down in, if Jimin remembered correctly.

  “Yeah, hey.” Jin smiled and tugged at the collar of his shirt before collapsing into his chair with a sigh. “Sorry, I’ve been running everywhere.”

 “Mr. Popularity.” Jimin teased and entered properly into the room to lean against the second chair across from his friend. He flipped a small backpack up and dropped it onto the empty seat. “Felix left this. I didn’t want to leave it there in case there was something important inside. He can just fetch it from here whenever he’s back at school.”

 “He hasn’t left yet.” Jin let out a breath much heavier than before. His expression darker than what Jimin was used to seeing on him. “He stays in a foster home with a whole bunch of other kids, his guardians are always a bit preoccupied with the younger children. I think they like to think that the older kids can fend for themselves a lot better than what they actually can, but yeah. They were called, but his foster brother will probably be the one to fetch him after his classes for uni end.”

 Jimin frowned deeply. His chest ached in sympathy for the timid hybrid that had seemed close to passing out earlier. “Is he… okay?”

 “Mostly.” Jin shrugged, glancing back to the curtained area he had come through. “He threw up a few times and put up more of a fight than I thought possible when I tried to get him to drink a potion. I had to resort to just standard medicine, but it won’t be as effective.  Seems like a flu.”

 “I felt awful that I couldn’t really help earlier.” Jimin admitted with a small sniff, rubbing at the tip of his nose swiftly. “He seemed scared to tell me anything, but I don’t know… maybe he just really wasn’t feeling well.”

 Jin shook his head. “This isn’t his first foster home, he got moved around a lot. From his file and the times he’s spoken to me, he has a bit of a rocky history with cat hybrids – of course his experiences kind of dealt more with predatory breeds but I suppose he just kind of categorised.”

 Now Jimin felt worse. He bit at his lip and locked his eyes onto the curtain as if he would be able to see the boy through the material. Was he asleep, or was he listening? Jimin’s throat tightened at the thought of having scared the dog hybrid. He didn’t really like causing someone else unnecessary stress, especially if there was a history of something … what, abusive? Maybe?

 “I didn’t realise… Why was he sent to school if he wasn’t feeling well?”

 “Beats me. Probably didn’t say anything, he’s only really comfortable with a few people and I don’t think he expects to rely on his foster parents.” Jin says quietly. “He’s a good kid, though. Very funny and loud when he wants to be. He just needs to open up to others a bit more, stop feeling like a burden and maybe participate a bit more.”

 Jimin nodded, twisting at one of his rings. “It’s hard sometimes, I get that. If he ever wants to he’s more than welcome to come by the dance studio’s. We sometimes hold after school classes for those that are curious or need extra practices. It might be a bit late to switch to it as a subject, but I’m willing to teach him a few things when he’s feeling better, maybe it will help in terms of meeting new people. Or I can ask Hobi if he can teach him a few things if he’ll feel more comfortable with a human teacher.”    

 “I’ll let him know.” Jin let out a huff of a laugh. “How are you? Feeling better about being back?”

 Jimin grinned widely, leaning heavily onto the chair. “Loads better, Yoongi helped me a lot. I’m still a bit stuffy –“

 “And your voice is super hoarse.” Jin said, then smiled teasingly as Jimin whined, his ears drooping a little.

 “Yeah, I know… But I really do feel better. I’m tired now but I’m happy to be back at work, I missed my kids. I got see two of my students during the exam, although I don’t think I have a lot of faith in the ones English skills. … its fine though.” Jimin straightened up and gave a dramatic wave of his hands. “He won’t need good marks in standard school, he’ll go far in dancing.”

 Jin pulled a face at Jimin’s words causing the younger to let out a small giggle.

“Maybe not fail the standard schooling, but you get what I mean. He’s going places whether he gets those marks or not.”

 “Sure, Minnie. Just don’t tell him that he doesn’t need to get good marks in other things.” Jin advised teasingly. “That’s not the best way to educate the next generation.”

 A gentle knock on the office door had Jimin jumping in fright, his ears drawn back, and fur raised, only to see two boys hovering outside. He vaguely recognised one from seeing him in hallways but the shorter one was unfamiliar, they both had soft fae-like features and wide innocent eyes. The taller was still dressed in the academies uniform while the other was dressed entirely in baggy black clothes that reminded Jimin of Yoongi. Although he doubted Yoongi would willingly get a lip and eyebrow piercing… maybe Jimin could talk him into it…

 “Hey, Chan. You got here fairly quickly.” Jin rose from his seat. “ I think he’s asleep right now, but I’ll wake him up and give him a final look over.”

 “Thank you so much Mr. Kim.” The dark one said, smiling brightly at Jin before nodding a greeting at Jimin.

He gave a soft ‘Hi’ before he pulled the light backpack off of the seat and handed it to the one Jin had addressed. “Here’s his bag.”

 “Thank you.” Chan accepted it quickly and gratefully.

 “Aren’t you one of the dance teachers? On the other side of the school?” The student, who looked about the same age as Felix despite being taller than both Chan and Jimin. “I saw you in that theatre performance thing like three months ago… right?”

 Jimin nodded, assuming that the boy was talking about the fundraiser that the school did that was mostly a time for the students to see the staff make fools of themselves doing dances or skits – or in his and the rest of the performance arts staffs’ case, their talent and skills being flaunted in their natural habitats.

 “Yep, I’m a modern – contemporary instructor, but I help out in the hip hop sector when I’m needed.”

 The boys face lit up at knowing he was right. “You’re dancing is so cool. You were so graceful on stage, it looked really beautiful.”

Jimin smiled and felt his cheek warm. Jin had disappeared behind the curtain and Chan was watching Jimin with a small smile.

 “I remember now. I went and watched with him and some of our other brothers.” Chan added. “He kind of became obsessed with dance after that.”

 His cheeks burned and he let out a soft nervous cough into his fist. “That’s kind, thank you. Are you… all in the same Foster family as Felix?”

 Chan nodded before adding. “I don’t live there anymore, but I still spend time with some of them there, kind of become like real brothers, you know?”

 Jimin nodded, stilling feeling a bit off about thinking of them in a foster home. “Well I was just telling Jin that he was welcome to come by the studios if he ever felt interested in dance. As a way to open up a bit. I’m not sure if Felix would join if I taught him, but you’re welcome to join myself or Mr. Jung as well if you want – um..”

 “Hyunjin.” The boy said eagerly. “That’s so cool. I really want to, I wanted to take classes, but our guardians couldn’t pay for the extra fee.”

 Jimin bit back his grimace. It was unfortunate that students had to pay an extra amount for specialised classes but there wasn’t much he could do besides over informal schooling.

 “Well, we can organise once or twice a week to help you guys out. You actually look like the right build for a dancer, probably wont struggle too much…”

 Jin reappeared with the small dog hybrid following close behind, looking a bit steadier on his feet than before but still nowhere near healthy enough to be at school. Felix hesitated at the sight of him but didn’t stop for long before he move to sink into Chan’s arms. Jin spoke about some of the hybrids symptoms and what he’d need to take as well as giving a few things to watch out for and what to do if it got worse just in case their guardians got busy. Jimin moved back, letting the two boys move closer to their brother in the office. It was cute to see the three of them together, so different and yet there was a clear sense of family. Jimin sniffed only to regret it as a sharp piercing lemon scent that was no doubt coming from Felix flooded his senses. He wasn’t sure how he hadn’t smelt it earlier, perhaps it was because Felix was feeling safe – in any case, Jimin blinked hard. He pressed a finger secretly to his nose, but it only seemed to aggravate the itch. Damn it, he had really hoped that he had finished with this earlier – he had blown his nose enough times after leaving the class, but apparently not.

‘He’ingxt’ah.. h’ingxsh..hih..hih’IGTSHiew…’ He cringed as he felt eyes land on him but couldn’t do anything else but keep his hand covering his face. ‘hih’itchshew… h’IShiew..’

 “Bless you, Jimin.”

 Jimin groaned and pulled a face, giving a soft and somewhat nervous sniffle. It seemed to be the end of it thankfully. Everyone was looking at him, but thankfully they didn’t seem to really care. “Thanks…”

 “Thought you were better, hmm?”

 “Jin,” Jimin pursed his lips and resisted the urge flick him. “Shut up. I’m fine now, just... lingering stuff.”

Jin hummed but Jimin knew he was only trying to be annoying.

 “okay well, I’ll head out then.” Jimin clapped his hands together awkwardly, no longer wanting to stay in the room in case he was going to start being sensitive to any more scents.

 “Tell Yoongi to feel better for me, Min.” Jin said as he wrote down the names of specific medications that would be the most long lasting for a hybrid.

Remembering the adorable sight he had left his boyfriend in that morning, Jimin spun around with a cheery gasp and wide glimmering eyes that had Jin laughing loudly, the other three in the room just blinking with bemusement at the suddenly change.

 “Get home Jimin! That wasn’t an invitation to start blabbering about your boyfriend. Actually, I’m very annoyed at you – It’s your fault that I didn’t get my extra Namjoon-day yesterday. I was devastated! Devastated Jimin!” Jin scolded him without even trying to suppress his smile.

 “You can sleep with your husband whenever you want Jin. No one is stopping you.” A pen smacked into his chest and Jimin bubbled with laughter as he danced out of range of the book that had come flying soon after the first projectile. “Don’t throw things at me!”

 “Yah! Don’t say inappropriate things in front of students, you bratty cat!”

 “They know what sex is!” Jimin argued playfully, coughing lightly as he caught the next book that came flying at his face. “So sensitive. Has it been that long?”

 “I should have never befriended you. I have to rethink my life choices.” Jin shook his head as he sent Felix an exasperated look. The dog hybrid was watching the interaction with wide, watery eyes.

 “Bye, Soekjin.” Jimin laughed, handing the book he had caught to Hyunjin. “I’ll let Yoongi know you care. If you want… I can ask him to make up something special to help-“

“GO HOME, BRAT!”

 Jimin pranced away, hearing the soft curses that Jin threw after him. Home. Despite how mixed his feelings were after finding out about Felix’s family life, he couldn’t help but be filled with a flood of warmth at the thought of his boyfriend waiting for him. Most likely still cuddled up into the warm nest Jimin had rearranged for him, unless the elder had decided to use energy to make food or something, but that seemed particularly doubtful after he had messaged Jimin about how lucid he felt and about the mountain of tissues creating a new city on the floor of their bedroom.

It was endearing… possibly contagious to anyone else that stepped fought into their house but somehow, very endearing.

#bts sickfic #bts fanfic #witch jin #nurse jin #hybrid jimin #dancer teacher jimin #alternate universe #stray kids #hybrid felix #I tossed some kpop idols into this mess just because I could #Its a mess #but I posted something #Its a little cute #I wanted caring Jimin #This is more plot than anything else i feel like

[svtshine]

Meeting Vernon for the first time

title: A meeting by chance

pairing: Hansol x reader

genre: oneshot, scenario

about: fluff, fansign!au

summary: you weren’t actually a fan of seventeen however your roommate was a big fan of their band. She was supposed to attend their fansign but she unfortunately fell sick that day and begged you to go in her place, to get their signatures.

“please Y/n, please you have to go in my place. i’m BEGGING you.” your roommate pleaded you, sniffing, while hugging your arm. You rolled your eyes and continued playing your game. “F/n, you need to stay away from me. i don’t need your flu germs as much as i love you” your roommate sighed, adjusting the surgical mask she was wearing and wrapped the fluffy blankets closer to her.

“Y/n, this is a chance of a lifetime. if i can’t go YOU have to go FOR me. please” she begged you again and showing you her puppy eyes. “I’ll uh do your laundry for one and a half month” you hummed and shrugged your shoulders, showing that you weren’t interested in her deal.

“Fine, i’ll fix you your meals and always restock the snack basket for you” you blinked at her and gave her a look saying, you know better than that. “FINE a new skateb-“

“deal.” you said, eyes still focused on your game

your roommate jumped and hugged you while squealing. “thank you sooo much, okay i definitely owe you”

“yes F/n, you do”

“i can’t believe i got sick....this is horrible. But at least i have you, now get off your game. i need to teach you some stuff you have to do for me at the fansign”

“i’m finishing, go eat your meds and then we’ll talk”

your roommate nodded, couldn’t fight with you anyways.

After finishing up your match, you stretched your arms and neck finding them a little stiff after playing too long. You walked out of your little apartment to where you found your roommate finishing up her soup that you made earlier in the morning. you pulled out a chair and joining her at the dining table. you placed your chin on your hand and looked to the right, looking at the bag of stuff on the couch

“ok Y/n, there’s 13 members. And i have a newer album for them to sign on. i’ve packed goodies and specific items to give each member. so just try to listen out for their name and you’d be able to give it to them” you nodded. 13 members, that’s a lot, you thought.

“Anyways you gotta reach there early and start queuing. Thank you so much again, try not to get lost babe” You sighed, and watched her finish eating and then helped her wash the dishes and made sure she went to bed.

you looked through the bag of goodies and you also found pictures next to each members name. Vernon, you found. You carefully picked up his item and brushed your fingertips at his picture so as to not crumple anything. He’s gorgeous i should also probably learn abit more about them for tomorrow

you just wanted to learn about vernon.

American-South Korean rapper. real name is Hansol, 1.78 metres, 22 years old. He’s older than you. positioned as main rapper and in the Hip-hop unit

hmm not bad, pretty muscular too. you thought to yourself, looking at his form and couldn’t help but stare into his mesmerising eyes, even if it was a photograph.

you even watched their HOME;RUN MV since you were curious as to the music they produce. You couldn’t help it when your eyes continued following vernon dancing and rapping the whole times

for some reason you just couldn’t look away.

Anyways you shook your head and checked the time before deciding it was better for you to turn in for tomorrow’s event.

When the next morning came, you woke up early, washed up, and had breakfast before checking your roommate if she needed anything. F/n was still asleep so you took abit longer in choosing your outfit, a simple cropped sweater set and jeans. Clipping your hand in a claw clip before carrying the bag filled with seventeen items and your ticket and heading out.

You were definitely slightly shocked at the amount of people who were already waiting patiently for the even to start, but your roommate did warn you about being early beforehand. You read the signs and went to queue for your turn. You waited almost an hour or two, waiting for the time your name would finally be called to lineup front

Now you could see the boys lined up in a row. Your roommate was right when she said that these boys, they literally sparkled. You turned to look at every one of them, your gaze lingering on one specific member. you got ready your things as you started off with the first member in the row, Seungcheol. The boys were actually very friendly and warm towards their fans, and although you had explained why sometimes you needed to ask for their name because you were only helping out a friend, they still treated you with respect and asked about you.

it was nice to see how the boys kindly treat their supporters. You finally got to Joshua, your palms were getting a bit sweaty since the next member was vernon.

Joshua flashed you a warm smile, which reminded you of sunshine and teddy bears.

“What’s your name.” joshua said getting ready to sign on the album. “oh uh, i’m Y/n, but could you help me sign off with F/n.” you replied.

Joshua looked at you kind of curious as to how you were abit more calm as compared to previous fans when meeting him and the rest.

“i’m here for a friend, she was supposed to come but she fell sick yesterday and didn’t want to risk spreading her awful germs to anyone. i didn’t really know you guys, but my friend really complimented all of you” you smiled awkwardly.

joshua gave you a nod and a look saying he understood what you were saying. “Wow your roommate must be lucky to have a friend who would do so much for her, even when she doesn’t know the band. tell her to get well soon for me.” he smiled and signed on the album while initiating a conversation with you. Joshua was very welcoming, and he made the conversation very comfortable so you were pretty immersed in it.

Vernon finished signing the album of the fan infront of him when he looked up and his eyes landed on you. his heart unconsciously skipped a beat and he didn’t understand why he felt a pull towards you. Of course you were one of the prettiest girls he has ever met, but he just felt attracted to you. when Joshua raised his hand to give you a high five and the both of you locked hands for a while. Vernon felt a need to pull you away from him. the sight of you smiling towards Joshua and not him, slightly bummed him.

it was so weird how fast he felt a connection with you. it was like he couldn’t take his eyes off you. But he had to, focusing on the fan infront of him and waving her off, knowing you were next.

you bid goodbye to Joshua as the staff requested that you moved to the next member. Your heart started beating faster as you placed the album infront of vernon and picked up his item from the bag to pass it to him. He smiled and thanked you for the gift. Vernon’s smile left you mesmerised and for a while you stared at him

“What’s your name” Vernon said in a voice that left you nervous

“Y/n, ah but this album is for a friend so if you don’t mind, could you use F/n. i watched an MV of your song for the first time yesterday and you were probably the most amazing i felt. but don’t tell the rest, they were awesome too.” the last part you sort of whispered

but vernon heard every word you and his cheeks started blushing slightly.

“Thank you Y/n, you know i don’t say this a lot but i think, in this hall, you shine the brightest.” Vernon gave you a bigger smile and reached for your hand, interlocking them with his. you were amazed and shocked by how much your smaller hand fit inside his way bigger hand. he swayed your hands side to side as he continued writing on the album while engaging a conversation with you.

Vernon made you feel like the only two people in this room were the two of you. you felt an attraction for him that you’ve never felt for anyone before.

however, soon it was time to move on to the next member. Vernon gave you a slight pout and wrote something swiftly on a piece of paper and sliding in into the album. He winked at you and you knew that message was for you.

He was the third last member thus you soon reached the end of the line and you bid goodbye to DK, the last member.

You stayed a little while afterwards for one performance. It was definitely dazzling, watching them dance in tune to each other, smiling to the audience and engaging with their fans. You wanted to learn more about them.

Unknowingly, Vernon was always looking at you. The whole time. Even when he was rapping or just standing and waiting for another member to give a speech, his eyes never moved away from you. He rapped his heart out for you. Maybe it was because he loved how excited you looked whenever his part came on, or the smile that grew wider when they danced to the song.

You breathed out a sigh and stretched out your arms when you left the building, sadly you had to check on your roommate and leave for your part time job.

your hand touched your chest where your heart laid. It was a wonderful time, meeting the boys and watching them perform in real life.

oh! you remembered the note that vernon left you. you quickly dugged out the album from your bag and flipped to the pages. The small piece of paper fell and it looked like a napkin.

written in scribbled handwriting,

Y/n

This is the first time i’m doing this for a girl i just met. but something about you, just made me want to know you better. Please call or text me!

+82 XX XXXX XXXX

Yours,

Hansol

your eyes widened at the sight of his message, you fumbled slightly and quickly found your found and typed in his number.

You stared at his contact, and a big smile grew on your face.

You were definitely going to thank your friend for this meeting by chance

Masterlist

#vernon #seventeen #svt #scenario #hansol #Vernon x reader #vernon fluff