#i told my brother about it ages ago and he also hadn’t forgot it

[theamazingannie]

One of the biggest tragedies in life is the lack of knowledge from the general population about BONG HiTs 4 JESUS

#one of the greatest court cases I’ve had the pleasure of learning about #purely for its absurdity #joseph Frederick is iconic #and tho he did not win his case he will live rent free in my mind for eternity #i told my brother about it ages ago and he also hadn’t forgot it #i told him the John adams quote #and he said it’s his second favorite historical quote #and then asked me what I thought his first was #and then told me it was BONG HiTS 4 JESUS

[oliverreedmasterass]

Cub Scouts Pinewood Derby Competition🤩

Oh my god Addison I am SO sorry for the wait, but thank you for the request!!

Sleek, Modern, Sexy

Words: 3.8k

Warnings: brief mention of a kinda nasty finger injury, the Blue Man Group

--------------------------------

“Sam,” Josh’s voice shook over the phone. “We did it. We won a Grammy.” 

Sam was taking a nap when his phone broke him out of his slumbers and, while he had at first been groggy, he immediately snapped awake. 

“You’re kidding,” was all he could manage to say. 

“For Best Rock Album. We actually won.” 

Sam sprung to his feet and raked a hand through his long hair in disbelief. Their EP had beat Weezer, Ghost, Fall Out Boy, and Alice In Chains. It didn’t feel real. In fact, Sam hadn’t felt such a gratifying sense of victory since nine years earlier. 

He was about a foot and a half shorter, his hair was clipped above his ears, and, at that point, he had only touched his dad’s bass a handful of times. Instead of playing music with his brothers, he spent his days flipping through Marvel comics and, more importantly, designing his car for the Cub Scouts Pinewood Derby. 

Despite his young age, Sam had established himself as a kid with a serious eye for engineering. It was most likely due to his father, Kelly, encouraging him to watch various Discovery Channel programs with him, and coming home with Lego kits, telling Sam to “go ham.” Sam’s creativity, logical reasoning, and handiwork made him a triple threat when it came to building a small, wooden car to race against his fellow Cub Scouts. He could hardly focus in school because he was too busy drawing blueprints and testing various models, hypothesizing which would be the fastest, or most aerodynamic. 

A week before the competition was supposed to happen, Sam was ready to put his car together. His older brothers, Jake and Josh, took interest in his project and trailed him into the garage as he gathered his tools. 

“I made a car for my troop,” Josh shared with Sam, hoping to impart some wisdom on his younger brother. 

“It was a lousy car,” Jake reminded Josh. “You placed in dead last because you glued your tires to a block of wood without checking to make sure that they rotated. The stupid thing sat at the starting line.” 

Josh frowned at Jake. “The whole point of this competition is to learn from your mistakes.” 

“I bought a Hot Wheels car ten minutes beforehand because I forgot to make one and got disqualified,” Jake told Sam. “So the bar isn’t too high if you want to impress Mom and Dad.” 

“I just want to make something I’m proud of,” Sam answered with a shrug. “But also I’m pretty sure I can win this thing,” he added. “The people in my troop aren’t the brightest.” 

“I guess things haven’t changed that much since we were there, huh Josh?” Jake nudged his twin in the ribs, which earned him a smack on the arm in return. He rubbed his forming bruise and motioned towards Sam’s journal. “Is that your plan?” 

“Uh huh,” Sam answered. He set his block of wood down and handed Jake the book. He would never say it to them upfront, but Sam really did want to impress his older brothers with his car. Earning their respect meant the world to him, and the fact that they had taken interest in his work was filling his heart with joy. 

Jake scanned over the various sketches of Sam’s car and raised his eyebrows. 

“This is detailed, Sammy. You really have been working hard on this.” 

Josh grabbed the notebook from Jake and studied it as well.

“There’s notes in here about aerodynamics. How do you know what that is?” 

“Dad showed me a documentary about how planes fly a few weeks ago. I thought it might make my car go faster too, with physics and all.” 

“Dad and his science documentaries,” Jake rolled his eyes. “So, can I help you with the saw?” 

Sam felt bad, but he had a specific plan in mind that he knew Jake couldn’t pull off. Plus, his parents had made it very clear to Sam that he and his siblings weren’t allowed to touch anything sharp. After Jake had sliced the tip of Sam’s thumb off a few years earlier, all of the Kiszka siblings were barred from putting their hands on any knives, saws, or other items that could cut. 

“I have to wait for Dad,” he sternly told Jake. The last thing he wanted was to get in trouble with his parents or, even worse, have Jake cut his thumb off again. That had hurt pretty bad. 

Jake looked like he wanted to protest, but Josh put a hand on his shoulder to stop him, and then pointed up the stairs at the main level of their house. 

“I’ll go and grab the old man now so we can get this thing started.” 

Sam wasn’t sure that he liked how Josh was referring to his project as a group effort, but he decided to let it slide since he was grateful that Josh was following his parent’s orders. It was rare that his brothers listened to their parents, especially since they had entered their teenage years. 

Josh bound up the rickety wooden steps and threw open the door leading into their kitchen, disappearing from sight while calling out for their dad. Sam and Jake stood in silence for a few beats, but then Jake cleared his throat. 

“Your design really does look good. Like, a lot better than the stuff I saw when Josh and I did the competition.” 

“We’ll see how it turns out,” Sam mumbled, his cheeks flushing. Jake seemed to be uncomfortable with the silence lingering between them because he moved across the garage to retrieve a soccer ball that was sitting around. Sam tried to focus his attention back on his blueprint while Jake started to juggle the ball, his sneakers squeaking against the pavement. 

Josh came back down a few minutes later with Kelly in tow, and the two joined Sam’s side. 

“You’re in charge here, kiddo,” Kelly told Sam. “You let me know what you need, and I’ll give you a hand. But you’re in the driver’s seat.” Kelly couldn’t help but chuckle at his pun. “What’s first?” 

“We have to rough cut my design,” Sam regained some of his confidence. He liked the feeling of being in charge and, more than that, holding his dad and Josh’s attention. Jake, on the other hand, was too preoccupied with his soccer ball at the other end of the garage. Kelly grabbed the block of wood Sam had been given by his Scoutmaster. 

“Shave it down a bit?” 

“Yeah, a lot thinner,” Sam said. He reached for his sketches and held them up to his dad to inspect. Kelly’s eyes scanned over Sam’s pencil drawings and he broke out into a smile. 

“Sounds good,” he said as he carefully set the notebook back down. 

Kelly let Sam wear a pair of safety goggles while he used his saw on the wood and instructed Jake and Josh to stand at least ten feet back. Jake had joined their side the second he saw Kelly bust out the saw, and looked visibly disappointed that he couldn’t move closer to see his dad cut the wood. While Kelly got to work, Sam looked over his shoulder a few times and grinned at his older brothers, who were both standing on their toes trying to get a better view. Sam had a front row seat though, and he remembered that he was the one in charge. He put that authority into practice when he noticed that his dad was being conservative with how much he shaved off. 

“I want it to be light,” Sam told his dad. “Take off more.” 

“You got it,” Kelly grunted. 

When he was done, Kelly presented Sam with his altered block, which was cut down to a thin rectangle. Sam cradled the wood in his small hands and studied it, picturing how it would look when it was done. He was still feeling confident that his design was going to win. 

“I need to sand it now,” Sam announced. This brought Jake and Josh closer to him, looking expectant that they would be asked to lend a hand. Sam wanted to be in charge of smoothing out certain edges of his car because he had to be very particular about it all, but he also wanted to make his brothers happy. “You can sand the tires,” he tried to delegate the work. “That will cut down on the friction.” 

That was more than enough to satisfy Jake and Josh since they happily accepted some sand paper from Kelly and grabbed Sam’s tires. 

“I didn’t realize you were supposed to do this,” Sam overheard Josh telling Jake. 

“It wouldn’t have mattered for your car, considering your tires didn’t even work.” 

“No need to keep bringing that up.” 

Sam kept his goggles on because they made him feel official, and he settled at his dad’s work bench to focus on his work. He reasoned that his car needed to be curved slightly in the front and have its corners be softened. He had read a lot of books at the library about the fastest cars on the planet, and a lot of them followed a similar structure. Sam grabbed his sandpaper and got to work, rubbing it carefully against the wood while biting his lip in deep concentration. 

“I think we’ve got the tires in good shape,” Jake joined Sam’s side while he finished shaving down the front of his car. Sam let out a short huff because he didn’t want to be distracted from his work, but he turned to look back at Jake, who was holding out the four black tires in his hand with a satisfied grin. Sam grabbed one of the tires and held it up to the lightbulb screwed into the wall above their dad’s bench to inspect their work. 

“Just a bit more sanding and then it should be good,” Sam said back to Jake. 

“You’re kidding,” Jake’s smile dropped. “We spent like twenty minutes on those.” 

“Friction will slow it down. I need this car to be as fast as possible.” 

Jake took the tire back from Sam and turned back to return to Josh. “The sandpaper is gonna turn my hands to stumps pretty soon,” he grumbled under his breath. 

Sam focused back on sanding the wood and, by the time Jake and Josh returned to his side holding out the tires again, he was happy with how the body of his car looked. It was pretty close to his drawings, which Kelly verified when he stuck his head back into the garage to check on their progress. 

“This is gonna be a fast one,” he claimed as he twirled the car around in his hands. “I can tell.” 

“Can you make some holes near the bottom for the axles and tires?” Sam asked his dad. “Oh, and also a few holes in the bottom for my weights?” Kelly inspected where Sam had penciled in for him to cut and brought the wood back to his workstation to use his loud drill. Within no time, the wood was back in Sam’s hands, and Kelly excused himself to get started on dinner upstairs.

Sam grinned down at his car and then snapped his head back up to look across at Jake and Josh. 

“It’s time to decorate it.” 

“What are you gonna do for the paint job?” Josh’s eyes were wide with interest.  

“Flames?” Jake guessed. “The Batman logo?” 

Sam shook his head. “I want it to be sleek, modern, and sexy.” 

“Sexy?” Jake and Josh both gaped at their younger brother. 

“You’re ten, what do you know about sexy?” Josh sounded genuinely concerned. 

“I hear people call cars sexy,” Sam replied. That was really all he understood about the word. His response seemed to bring some relief to his brothers since they dropped the subject. 

“So, sleek and modern, huh?” Jake asked Sam. 

“I want it to be red and glossy,” Sam shared. 

“Only red?” Josh checked in. “You could paint something else on it, you know.” 

“I was gonna do a Spiderman design, but I think only red is better,” Sam replied. “It feels more, I don’t know, grown up.” 

“I can grab you a Sharpie and you could write some stuff on it,” Josh suggested. “Like ��Sam Kiszka rules’ and ‘I love my brothers.’”

“Ew, gross,” Jake made a face. “Don’t you dare write that on your car.” 

Sam laughed at his brothers. 

“I’m just gonna do red.” 

Josh was hovering around Sam quite a bit while he retrieved a tube of red acrylic paint from their arts and crafts drawer, and he took the hint. 

“Do you want to help me paint?” Sam asked Josh. 

“Sure,” Josh tried to sound cool, though Sam could tell that he was secretly ecstatic. 

They settled back in the garage and grabbed their paint brushes, both spreading the scarlet shade over the wood. Off to the side, Jake had snagged his own paintbrush and was carefully decorating the discarded pieces of wood that Kelly had cut off of the original block of wood with the Cool S. Sam and Josh covered the car in three hefty coats of paint before Sam decided that it was looking good. The color was bright and was certain to gather a lot of attention out on the track. To top it off, Sam added some gloss over the paint so it had a bit of a shine to it when it was held up to the light. 

“What do you think?” Sam called over to Jake, who had started mindlessly painting on his bare arms so they were mostly blue. He let his brush drop back down onto the table in embarrassment, and squinted to look at Sam’s progress. 

“Looking good!” he called back, giving a blue thumbs up. 

Since they had to wait for the paint to dry, Jake and Josh excused themselves so they could find something else to do to keep themselves preoccupied that wasn’t watching paint dry. Sam overheard them scheming to paint Jake entirely blue so he could run around their neighborhood pretending to be a member of the Blue Man Group. 

Sam took advantage of the peace and quiet and focused hard on aligning his axles and securing the tires. When he was satisfied, he glued the axles in place and then popped the tires on. He gave the car a light push across Kelly’s work bench and watched in delight as it moved in a straight line with ease. 

“Nice,” Sam whispered to himself. And then he hustled upstairs to find his mom. 

Karen was the self-proclaimed expert with the hot glue gun, which was what Sam needed to secure his metal into the back of his car to insure that it moved as fast as possible. 

“MOOOOOOOOOOM!” Sam shouted from the kitchen. 

“Yeah, Hun?” Karen’s voice was muffled from the other end of the house. Sam cradled his car in his arms to make sure it didn’t get damaged, and ran down the hallway to his parent’s room. There, he found Karen, laying on top of their Queen bed while flipping through Water For Elephants. 

“Can you glue something for me?” Sam asked, out of breath. 

“Is this your Pinewood Derby car?” Karen asked in intrigue, motioning for Sam to pass her his car so she could admire it. Sam excitedly handed it to her, hoping to receive more praise for his hard work. “Oh wow,” Karen breathed out. “This looks really good, Sammy. I love the color too.” 

“Josh helped me paint it,” Sam said as he puffed out his chest in pride. 

“That was nice of him,” Karen gave Sam a warm smile. “So what do you need me to glue?” 

“I have these Tungsten balls that should fit in the holes Dad drilled to the bottom of the car in the back,” Sam explained quickly. “I need the hot glue gun to make sure that they stay in place.” 

“Let me grab it,” Karen told Sam. He watched her mark her place in her book and stand from the bed to rummage through her closet for the hot glue gun. It had been a while since she had needed it; the kids weren’t doing art projects as much as they used to. 

They moved to the kitchen where she could plug the glue gun in, and Sam stood on his step stool to watch his mom trap the metal inside the drilled holes with the hot glue. While they waited for it to harden, Sam watched an entirely blue Jake run around the front yard, waving his hands around and cackling loudly. Karen caught a glimpse of her son and shook her head in disbelief. 

“What am I going to do with your brother?” she sighed. 

They both watched as Josh ran behind Jake with the garden hose, trying to wash him off with an equally loud laugh. 

Later that evening, the entire Kiszka family crowded in the living room to watch Sam test his design against the infamous Hot Wheel car that had gotten Jake disqualified three years earlier. On their homemade track, built out of old carboxes, Sam and a slightly less blue Jake held their cars at the starting line. 

“On your marks,” Josh called, “Get set, go!” 

Jake and Sam dropped their cars at the same time and watched in awe at the incredible speed that carried Sam’s car to the finish line in what felt like the blink of an eye. A few seconds later, Jake’s Hot Wheel clunked past the finish line. Sam’s grin was wide as he pictured his car winning the following weekend at the Derby in a similar fashion. 

In what felt like no time, Sam was at the Frankenmuth Youth Center, carefully shielding his car model from any harm. His fellow Cub Scouts were crowding around the racetrack and playing with their cars on the gym floor, which Sam noted was ruining their tires. 

He was standing off to the side, surrounded by his family, attempting to remain calm while he waited his turn for the competition. When the time finally came, Sam could feel his heart start to thunder in his chest. 

You can do this, he thought down to his car. He hoped with all of his might that his car was going to win. The prize was a large trophy which was pretty cool, but Sam mostly wanted to prove to the other kids that he could make the best, fastest car out there. 

He eyed his competitors and noted that their cars were too tall, too wide, too flimsy-looking, too chunky. In comparison his car looked like a part of the Indianapolis 500. Sam gingerly placed his car in its designated lane and then, per the Scoutmaster’s direction, took two steps away from the starting line. 

C’mon, c’mon, c’mon, Sam silently prayed. 

“Let’s go, Sam!” Josh called from the crowd. 

Please, Sam tried one last time. 

The bar holding the cars in place on their elevated slope was removed, and the cars sped down the track in a quick zip. The bright red color of Sam’s car definitely made it stand out against his competitors, and he had no trouble tracking it as it zoomed down the track at the front of the pack. The other cars felt like they were miles behind him. Sam started to imagine all of the bragging rights he would earn on the playground and could feel his stomach turn in glee. The Scoutmaster’s shrill whistle marking the end of the race brought Sam out of his daydream and, beaming wide, he waited to hear the announcement that his car had won. But, off in the distance, he saw the Scoutmaster holding a different car up. 

Bradley, who was conveniently the Scoutmaster’s son, ran to join his dad with an excited whoop, dancing at the finish line with his winning car. Sam’s face dropped in shock. Bradley’s car hadn’t seemed like a threat to him when he studied the other cars in the race earlier, but there must have been something about his design that outshone Sam’s. 

Sam could feel the excitement oozing out of him until he noticed that the Scoutmaster was holding up his car as well. He could just barely hear his gruff voice call out, “Second place!” 

Even though Sam had been shooting for first place, second place got a trophy as well which was more than enough to keep him happy. He had never won anything in his life and had always dreamed of having something shiny to display on his bookcase, just like his siblings. 

He sprinted to the finish line and had his winning car placed back in his hands, which he immediately lifted up in victory. Within seconds his family was by his side, clasping him on the back and congratulating him. That is, everyone but Josh. 

“Don’t you think it’s a bit rigged that the Scoutmaster’s son won?” he asked with his brows furrowed. 

“Joshua, not right now,” Karen told him. 

“It just seems a little bit fixed,” Josh continued to argue. 

Sam hadn’t considered that, but Josh did have a point. 

“Bradley cheated!” he called out. 

“No,” Kelly assured Sam, turning briefly to shoot Josh a glare. “He won fair and square. But you got second place which is so wonderful! You should be so proud of yourself.” 

“They stole that win from you,” Josh whispered to Sam. 

“Joshua,” Karen warned her son again. Josh took the hint and shuffled away from Sam. 

Sam was ready to continue spewing conspiracies that the entire race was fixed, but he was quickly distracted when the Scoutmaster announced that they begin the award ceremony. While Sam continued to hold onto his car, he was handed a polished gold trophy that had “2nd Place” written on a plaque at the bottom. He could hear his family whoop and cheer for him loudly and, in that moment, Sam felt like he had accomplished something truly great for the first  time. He always felt like he was living in the shadow of his older siblings but, finally, he could enjoy the limelight. He felt a new confidence growing in him as he realized he had won something that he was in charge of. It had been his design, not Jake’s, not Josh’s, not Ronnie’s, not his parent’s, his. He couldn’t be more proud. 

After receiving the news from Josh about their Grammy, Sam felt transported back to his youth when he placed second at the Pinewood Derby Competition. Like nine years prior, his heart swelled with joy that he, Danny, and his brothers had come together to create something that was uniquely theirs, and found success along the way. 

“We worked so hard for this,” Sam told Josh, his voice quivering as his emotions caught up to him.

“Nice to finally win first, right, Sammy?” Jake joined Josh, calling into the phone to Sam. 

“It definitely is,” Sam laughed.

#gvf #greta van fleet #sam kiszka #jake kiszka #josh kiszka #danny wagner #gvf fanfiction #gvf fic #gvf fanfic #greta van fleet fanfiction #greta van fic #greta van fleet fanfic #pinewood derby #now I know how to make one of these cars....kinda lol

[booksofkingdomsandcourts]

Nessian Week: AU Day

I work well with deadlines so even though this is just a run-of-the-mill Modern!AU, I thought I’d post this drabble that’s been knocking around in my head for a few weeks today! It has a little part two that I’m hoping to post later tonight :)

           Cassian could tell something was on Nesta’s mind all through dinner. He could tell as soon as he got home from work, really. It wasn’t about him, he didn’t think, since she’d kissed him welcome home and let him squeeze her ass. No, there was just…something. Something that made her eyes a little vacant and her words a little quiet. But during dinner she just let him talk about work, nodding and answering, and if there was one thing Cassian had learned about Nesta, it was to give her space. He would give it a little longer, and then he would ask.

           After dinner they watched an episode of the Netflix show they were working their way through and then got ready for bed. Even though it was only eight thirty, their rigid commitment to mornings at the gym meant they were always early to bed, early to rise.

           As they crawled under the covers, Cassian finally poked Nesta’s side and said, “Hey. Something you want to talk about?”

           He had long since learned that “what’s wrong” and “talk to me” didn’t work on Nesta. He had learned to just ask if she wanted to talk, and that sometimes, the answer was no. That was okay. He had also often assured her that one of the reasons he kept his chest so big was for ample cuddle room, if that was all she wanted instead.

           But tonight, Nesta sighed and looked at the ceiling, gathering her thoughts. Cassian propped himself up on one elbow, waiting.

           “I’ve been thinking about trying for law school again,” Nesta said at last.

           “Oh,” Cassian said, surprised but not unpleasantly so. When everything had gone to shit and their father had died, Nesta had withdrawn what Cassian was told was a very promising and competitive law school application. That had been over two years ago now, and Cassian had found himself wondering more than once if she missed no longer being on that path, or if it was something she had ever wanted for herself at all.

           “Yeah,” she agreed, then continued, “I just don’t think the sugar baby lifestyle suits me as well as it suits Feyre, you know?” Cassian laughed. “Seriously! She just lives in a big house and paints all day and is going to give Rhys as many babies as he wants, and I’m really happy for her.”

           “He really loves her,” Cassian said, feeling a need to defend his brother. It was maybe undeniable that Rhysand technically qualified as Feyre’s sugar daddy given their age gap, but the implication that he just wanted her for baby making, even though Cassian knew Nesta didn’t mean it like that, riled him just a little.

           “I know,” Nesta said, unfazed. “I said I was happy for her. I just don’t know that that’s for me, you know? I want to do something. I want to have a career and something that I am outside of just us.” If Cassian was not used to Nesta’s bluntness, he might have been offended. But she turned to look at him with her crystal-blue eyes unusually wide and vulnerable, and he knew this was really something that had been weighing on her for a while.

           “Okay, hell yeah,” Cassian said. “My Nesta, girlbossing it up. I’m all for it, whatever you want to do. Law school, business mogul, dean—you’ll kick ass no matter what.”

           Nesta rolled her eyes, but Cassian could see her cheeks had turned slightly pink. “Don’t ever call me girlboss again.”

           “No promises.”

           Nesta rolled her eyes again, and Cassian grinned wider. For a moment, Nesta picked at a loose thread on her sleeve, and then she said, “Or if none of them work out, I guess I could lean into the sugar baby lifestyle and start an OnlyFans.”

           Cassian suppressed a groan, imagining Nesta’s OnlyFans. The amount of money he would have paid for that if she wasn’t his…. “And I’d be your top supporter,” he promised.

           She gave him an exasperated look. “Anything I’d post on OnlyFans you get for free.”

           “But I’m going to support your endeavors, no matter what they are,” Cassian said. “You could try a new career every year for the rest of our lives and I’d be right there by your side. You’ll be the best at whatever you do, baby, you and I both know that.”

           “That’s actually a good point,” she said, pointing at him. “If I get in you’re not allowed to pay my tuition. And neither is Rhysand.”

           “What?” Cassian exclaimed. “Of course I am!”

           “You are not,” Nesta said, her voice leaving no room for argument. “This is my career, my path. I’ll get myself through and pay off the loans on my own.”

           It was a shame there was no talking Nesta into taking charity. If she had decided it would wound her pride to have Cassian pay her tuition, there would be no changing her mind. But he understood—if she wanted this to be something that was hers, it didn’t make sense to have him tied to it so intrinsically. He could accept that. Sort of.

           “Fine,” he said. “But I’m still paying rent and buying groceries and bringing you really big, sugary coffees when you have a hard day of studying. No argument.”

           That earned him another eye roll, but this time with a small smile. “Fine.” She scooted closer so she could snuggle against his chest, and he wrapped his arms around her to pull her close.

           Something in him relaxed just having her so close, but there was still tension in her arms, in her fingers on his back, so he just stroked her hair and waited. Finally, she whispered, “Did you mean it?”

           “About the sugary coffees? Of course. I know we try to eat right, but—”

           “No,” Nesta interrupted. “About…every year, for the rest of our lives. You being by my side.” She tightened her arms and fingers like she was clinging to him.

           For the first time tonight, Cassian was totally taken aback. That was what had thrown her? Wasn’t it obvious? Wasn’t it…what she wanted? “Yeah,” he said, ignoring a cold wash of fear in his stomach. “You don’t think I’m going anywhere, do you? Like I could ever even look at another woman now that I’ve loved you? This is it for me, Ness. Honestly you couldn’t get rid of me if you tried.”

           He half expected her to shoot back about stalking or restraining orders or the like, but instead she squeezed him so tight even he almost had the wind knocked out of him. She moved her face from his chest to bury it against his neck, and though he didn’t feel the wet heat of tears, her ragged breaths sounded like she was trying not to cry. “Nesta,” he whispered softly. “Don’t tell me you want a career because you think I might leave you. I’m not going anywhere.”

           “I don’t just want it because of that,” she managed, voice choked. “But you can’t know. You can’t know you won’t get sick of me.”

           “How could I possibly get sick of you? You have ruined me for all other women, Ness, I mean that. And I don’t just mean about sex, though the sex I have with you is absolutely the best sex I’ve ever had in my life, no contest.” She let out a choked laugh against his chest. He could feel her tears now. “I am genuinely excited to see you chase your dreams, Nesta. I’m excited to bring you sugary coffees, and take you out for nice dinners after your big exams, and watch you kick the ass of every other attorney who is unfortunate enough to go up against you. You’re my everything. I don’t want you to spend any more time doubting that.”

           “I know,” Nesta whispered. “I know. You’re my everything too. I’ve never cared about anything as much as I care about you. That’s what’s so scary.”

           Cassian had known almost from the moment he met her that she was the woman he was going to marry. In his mind, however, it was such an inevitability that he hadn’t felt the need to rush. He thought of them as the type to just be together until one day they’d look at each other and say “hey, we should probably get married, huh?” But sometimes he forgot that there was a lot of insecurity under Nesta’s kickass physique and haughty stares. Maybe she needed that promise set in stone (a very expensive, very shiny stone) more than he had realized. He didn’t think she was hounding for a rock, but if she was worried that his lack of commitment was because he was leaving himself a doorway out, he needed to show her that she couldn’t be more wrong.

           As she rolled onto her back and invited him to have some of that life-changing sex, he thought to himself that maybe it was time he went and got a ring.

@nessianweek

#nessian #nesta archeron #cassian #acotar #acosf #modern au #nessian fanfic #nessianweek2021 #my writing #jumping on the modern nesta is a lawyer train because I like that for her

[invisibleanonymousmonsters]

Make A Scene

AMHL – Masterlist

Dick immediately noticed when Y/N started getting quieter and quieter as they got closer and closer to the venue.

Bruce had hired a driver to pick them up from their apartment in Gotham. And the car had gone quiet now. 

Dick reached over to gently hold her hand.

“Nervous?” He asked.

Y/N shrugged, not really seeing the point in trying to lie to her boyfriend.

“This isn’t your first rodeo, ya know.”

She gave him a look. “You know that wasn’t the same.” Her eyes flickered to the driver. “I wasn’t exactly…myself. And I wasn’t your girlfriend.”

Also, tonight they didn’t have the security and comfort of being at Wayne Manor.

No, instead this particular event was being held at the ballroom of Gotham’s most extravagant five-star hotel. It was a party for Wayne Enterprises, not a personal charity or party of the Wayne family.

Bruce had kindly asked Dick and Y/N to attend when board members and business partners started asking if the whole family would be attending. Jason hadn’t answered anyone’s calls or texts about it. None of them expected him to show up. Tim had to attend since he worked for Wayne Enterprises. And Damian…Well, Damian was his father’s son and not yet an adult. He basically had to do whatever Bruce asked of him while he lived under his roof.

“I’m not gonna leave your side,” Dick promised.

He squeezed her hand to further emphasize it.

Their car pulled up to the carpet at the bottom of the stairs.

There had to be a hundred journalists and photographers, along with random civilians who had nothing better to do than to see Gotham’s elite get out of cars and walk into a hotel.

Dick took in a deep breath.

Thankfully the car’s windows were tinted and protected them from any onlookers.

“Ready?” He asked her.

She nodded.

Dick opened the door and ignored the screams and flashes as he carefully helped Y/N out of the car with his offered hand. He also shielded her from the photographers to give her a moment to get out and adjust herself before they could capture any photos of her.

“Mr. Grayson! Mr. Grayson! Who is your mystery girlfriend?” Someone yelled.

Sometimes Y/N forgot that Dick was somewhat of a celebrity in Gotham City through association.

It wasn’t like people were asking for selfies everywhere he went. Or that the paparazzi were following his every move.

But in Gotham, people took note of where Dick Grayson went and who he was with.

And everyone noticed he’d had the same woman on his arm for quite some time now.

Even though Y/N and Dick had been dating for over a year, the media still couldn’t figure out Y/N’s identity. 

What they didn’t realize was that she controlled every single piece of information about herself that lived on the internet.

They didn’t stand a chance. 

Dick smiled and waved at people who called his name. But his hand other hand never left Y/N’s as he helped her up the stairs.

“Who are you wearing?” A female journalist yelled at Y/N.

She ignored them and focused on getting up the stairs without tripping and face planting. Not that Dick would ever let that happen.

However, she knew her outfit was going to draw gazes.

Y/N had made a promise to herself that if she was going to be forced to attend events like this with Dick, then she was going make a statement. People were already going to be staring at her, so she figured she might as well give them something good to stare at.

Instead of wearing a typical cocktail and formal dress, Y/N wore a full men’s suit that was tailored to perfection, but with the bowtie undone. It was what the fashion magazines would describe as “androgynous” in the press tomorrow morning.

Y/N wanted to control her own narrative. And she’d rather be judged for her bold decisions than just her trying to blend in.

Bruce insisted on paying for all the boys’ date’s dresses – in this case, suit – if they happened to bring one. He always thought it was more of an incentive for them to attend these terrible events if he encouraged them to bring significant others. And the press always had a field day with it, which only helped throw people of their trail when it came to their secret lives as vigilantes.

Everyone kept screaming Dick’s name as they walked in, and Y/N wondered how he got so good at smiling through the chaos and ignoring them.

Once they were inside, Dick felt the tension leave Y/N’s body a bit.

“Alcohol?” He offered with a smirk.

“Yes, please.”

He nodded, knowing it was exactly what she needed.

Quickly, he grabbed two champagne flutes off a passing waiter.

They clinked glasses.

Then he leaned forward and whispered in her ear, “Thank you for being my date.”

Y/N smiled at his sincerity.

Dick sighed before he threw back the champagne, “The quicker we find Bruce and prove we were here, the sooner we can leave.”

“Try not to sound so excited,” she laughed darkly.

Suddenly felt a small human wrap around her thighs.

Y/N gasped in excitement, “Dami!”

Dick smiled as he looked down at his 10-year-old brother hugging his girlfriend.

“Dick gave me the drawing you made for us. It’s so beautiful. I’m trying to find the perfect frame for it,” she told the boy.

Damian beamed with pride at that.

Suddenly the boy started asking a million questions about Stoker, one of his kittens that he’d given to them to take care of when Bruce gave a limit to how many cats Damian was allowed to have in the manor.

Then, to Dick’s shock, he saw Jason slowly walk over to them with his hands in his pant pockets.

He was not at all dressed nice enough for the event. No suit jacket. No tie. His white button-up shirt wrinkled, messily tucked into his pants, and with two many buttons undone. The sloppiness of it all clearly wasn’t an issue with the women, seeing as all of them were ogling Jason.

“Todd,” Damian greeted coldly, pausing his conversation with Y/N, who whipped around at the name.

“Hey, you,” Y/N smiled as she went to greet him.

Jason gave her a friendly kiss on the cheek and a quick hug.

“I really didn’t think you were coming,” Dick told his brother.

“Well, I wasn’t. But I got a business engagement.”

Y/N and Dick shared a confused look.

“What do you mean?” Dick asked.

“I found my neighbor crying on her fire escape a few nights ago. Apparently… one of the finance bros of Wayne fucking Enterprises was everything but a gentleman to her.”

Y/N’s eyes widened in realization. “J, I already took care of that.”

“I know,” Jason nodded as his eyes scanned the room. He was clearly on a personal mission tonight. “You deleted the evidence. I am teaching him a lesson.”

Dick slowly put together what they were implying.

“Oh, please don’t make a scene, Jason.” Dick begged him.

Because he knew Bruce wouldn’t be dealing with the aftermath; it would be him.

“Don’t worry!” Jason laughed. "I’m gonna take him outside before I beat the shit out of him. No one here will even notice. It’ll be fine,” Jason assured him as he gave Dick a far too heavy slap on the back.

“Just tell Bruce and he’ll get him fired,” Dick tried to convince him to take the less violent route.

“Oh, we already did,” Y/N muttered.

Dick’s gaze shot to his girlfriend.

“He’s getting fired on Monday,” she clarified sheepishly.

“Since when do the two of you work together behind my back?” Dick accused them.

But he wasn’t actually mad about anything – maybe just a little bit bitter.

Jason opened his mouth.

“I swear to God, Jason, if you say ‘club business,’ I will lose it…” Dick warned.

Y/N tried to hide her smile.

“Got him,” Jason growled as he glared at someone on the other side of the room.

As soon as he left them, Dick gave Y/N his full attention.

“Seriously?” He accused.

“I’m sorry! He asked me for a favor and I was happy to do it once I realized what it was,” Y/N defended.

Dick pouted a little. Mostly because he hated being left out.

“Don’t worry, ya big baby. I’m still your ‘guy in the chair’ and no one else’s,” she teased before giving him a kiss, immediately wiping the lipstick off his lips.

“How come Jason gets to beat up people at events like this, but I’m expected to behave like a well-trained dog?” Damian mumbled.

Dick sighed and shook his head.

“Jason likes to think he’s a lone wolf who doesn’t have to play by the rules,” Y/N tried to comfort the boy.

To distract Damian from getting further into how unfair it was, Y/N asked him to show her more of his drawings.

This seemed to please Damian and he pulled his phone out, flipping through photos and showing Y/N his recent sketches.

With Y/N being entertained by his youngest brother, Dick decided to go to the bar and get the two of them a stronger drink and maybe get a kiddie cocktail for Damian. He’d pretend to be patronized and annoyed by it, but Dick knew better.

He patiently waited for the bartender’s attention. 

“So Gotham’s Golden Boy really has returned…” a husky voice uttered beside him at the bar.

Dick glanced over to see a beautiful woman close to his age eyeing him.

It was clear what she wanted. Dick used tactics like this on countless missions.

“So I have,” he answered.

He was polite, but distant.

Women hitting on him at events like this was nothing new. To Gotham, Dick Grayson was a Bruce Wayne 2.0 – younger, just as charming and handsome as his mentor and stand-in father figure. 

Dick knew how to play the game. But he never had any interest in casual relationships like Bruce did.

“Back for good?” The woman persisted.

“My girlfriend and I are just in town for a few weeks,” he answered before ordering his drinks with the bartender finally.

“Oh, brought up the girlfriend rather quickly,” she laughed.

Dick quirked an eyebrow. “Is that a problem?”

“No, it’s just…my friends and I had a bet going.”

Then she pointed to a group of three young women, who were giggling and smiling, not even trying to pretend like they weren’t watching them closely.

“Oh, yeah?” Dick asked, already tired of this conversation.

--

Jason had already rejoined Y/N and Damian.

Y/N looked down to see his knuckles red with irritation and bruised.

“Please tell me there’s not a corpse in the alley behind this hotel now…” Y/N sighed.

“No,” Jason answered coldly. “Though there fucking should be.”

“What did he do?” Damian asked curiously, clearly he hadn’t been listening to their earlier conversation that closely.

Y/N shifted her weight in discomfort, not sure how to handle the subject with the boy. Yes, Damian was far more mature than many grown men, but he was still just a kid. There were some things Y/N felt like they should at least try to protect him from still. 

“He got my neighbor too drunk to consent, filmed them having sex without her knowing it, and then showed it to a bunch of people at their work,” Jason answered bluntly.

Damian’s brow furrowed, clearly thinking long and hard about what his brother just told him.

After a moment, the boy perked up, “I know where we could hide the body so even father won’t find out.”

“Damian!” Y/N scolded.

But Jason was beaming.

Y/N looked around for Dick, hoping to find another sane person to stop the two boys from actually murdering anyone tonight.

But when she finally spotted him, she saw a woman standing far too close to Dick and pointing to a group of girls who flirtatiously waved and winked at both of them.

“Real cute,” Y/N muttered to herself.

“Vultures,” Damian growled as he followed her gaze.

“Jason, if I leave you alone with Damian, are you going to kill someone?” She asked without taking her eyes off her boyfriend.

“I don’t need to be watched,” Damian groaned.

“No, I need you to watch Jason to make sure he doesn’t change his mind about keeping that asshole alive.”

“Fine,” Damian whined.

Without any further confirmation, Y/N left them. 

She walked across the party on a mission, never taking her stare off of her boyfriend.

Dick did a double take when he noticed her heading towards him.

“Hey,” he greeted innocently.

Because he was innocent. All he’d done was be polite to a bunch of women who were after him for his name…and maybe his good looks.

“I was wondering where my drink was,” Y/N said with a surprising calmness and smile.

Then she turned to the woman. 

“Hi, I’m Y/N. You must be a friend of Dick’s.” 

She held her hand out.

No cattiness. No rudeness.

Y/N said it with the same kindness that drunk women having with other drunk women in bar bathrooms.

“Oh…I’m Irina,” the woman stuttered as she took Y/N’s offered hand, clearly confused by Y/N’s niceness.

Dick held out her drink.

Y/N took it, quickly clinked her glass with both Dick and Irina.

“Cheers,” she sang before tossing it back and chugging the drink that was meant to be slowly sipped.

Dick didn’t know what game his girlfriend was playing, but he was intrigued.

Once Y/N lightly placed her empty glass back on the bar, she turned to Dick and tilted her head to the side. “Could you show me to the bathrooms? I have no idea where they are.”

“Of course,” Dick answered without knowing where this was going.

“It was nice meeting you, Irina,” Y/N told the woman as she linked her fingers with Dick’s and guided him away.

—

Meanwhile, Jason watched the interaction as if he were watching an award-winning movie. Him and Damian were way too far to hear, but everyone in the bat family could read lips more than fluently.

Then Jason smirked as he watched Y/N drag Dick away.

“Boys,” Bruce greeted as he snuck up on the two of them. “What are we staring at?”

“Oh, you know,” Jason hummed with hilarity, “just watching Y/N assert her dominance.”

“Good for her,” Bruce grinned as he realized what was happening.

He moved his attention to his youngest boy. “Alfred is waiting outside with the car. You’re officially released from your duties.”

“Finally,” Damian groaned.

“Don’t you wanna say bye to Y/N?” Jason asked.

“They’re coming to the manor tomorrow afternoon,” Bruce answered for his son. Then he raised a brow at Jason. “You’re welcome to join us.”

Jason’s only response was a shrug.

Bruce tried to hide his disappointment and nodded before he guided Damian away and walked him outside, where Alfred was waiting.

10 minutes later, Jason saw Dick trailing behind Y/N as she walked back to the main area of the event.

Jason burst out laughing at the spectacle. 

Dick’s hair was an absolute mess. Half of his shirt was untucked. His jacket was draped over his forearm. His lips were swollen and pink. Y/N had left lipstick all over his neck and even a bit on the collar of his shirt.

Yet somehow not a single hair was out of place on Y/N and her makeup was still immaculate. Her outfit was just as sleek and clean as when she’d arrived. The only thing different was the proud smirk on her lips.

Clearly Y/N had just had her way with Dick.

But she wanted to make sure the whole party knew about it.

—

Y/N hadn’t said a word to Dick since she dragged him from that woman.

Her body did all the talking.

One second they were at the bathroom doors, the next Y/N had thrown him against the tiled wall after locking the bathroom door.

She gave no verbal explanation, just started kissing him and undoing his pants.

“Not that I’m complaining. Like, at all,” Dick laughed as they rejoined the party. “But wanna to tell me what that was all about?”

Y/N finally stopped walking and turned to face him with narrowed eyes. “I think you know, Richard.”

Y/N only ever used his full first name to provoke and tease him. And he hated that it worked every single time.

Dick glanced around to see that everyone in their vicinity was eyeing them. Well, they were mostly eyeing him and how it was clear he’d just been fucked in the bathroom.

He stepped close to her and lowered his voice, “Ohhh, I see how it is.” His eyes flickered down to her lips for a split second. “If a guy does that, he’s jealous and possessive. But if a woman does it, it’s sexy…”

Y/N proudly smiled like the cheshire cat. “Exactly.”

Something over his shoulder caught her attention. “Oh, I see Tim. I’m going to go say hi.”

Without hesitation, she brushed past him.

Dick let his head fall, put his hands on his hips, and laughed.

He’d pay her back later tonight. And by ‘pay her back,’ he would just tell her how incredibly hot her behavior had been and basically invite her to do it whenever she damn well pleased.

Dick felt a presence beside him, and he didn’t have to raise his head to know it was Bruce.

“Hey,” Dick greeted him nonchalantly.

“You have lipstick all over your neck,” Bruce told him as he took a sip of his drink and looked around the party. “And your zippers down.”

“Sure is,” Dick sighed.

--------------------------

OK. This was way too fun to write. 

Let me know what you think!!!

ALL BONUS CONTENT CAN BE FOUND: HERE

#all men have limits #AMHL bonus content #make a scene extension #dick grayson x reader #dick grayson reader insert #nightwing x reader #nightwing reader insert #jason todd and platonic!reader #jason todd x platonic!reader #batfam #batboys #bruce wayne x platonic!reader #bruce wayne and reader

[thesunicarusfellfor]

Regeneration Potion (Plat!C!Tommyinnit x Witch!F!Reader)

TW: Mentions of Dream's actions during Tommy's exile INCLUDING his un alive moment. YES I KNOW TUBBO CAN HAVE MORE THAN ONE FRIEND. SHUSH. PLOT.

Reader wears a dress most of the time. Also Tommy is around 17 (I forgot his canon age sorry)

I might make this a series!

☆Tommy P.O.V☆

His hotel was taken over.. His house was practically empty.. He was stared at everywhere he went.. His best friend replaced him instantly without much of a second thought.. His brother was dead, his other brother probably wanted to spill his guts for switching sides... He had... Nothing...

He had died for God's sake! Sure, he didn't expect people to immediately bawl their eyes out at the news, but he didn't expect to be brushed off so damn quick! He didn't expect the person he betrayed his brother for to replace him so quickly! He didn't... he... Was... Tubbo really his friend? He exiled him without checking up on him... He... He moved on so.. quick..

Standing over the giant crater once known as L'manberg, now covered with a thick sheet of glass... He wrapped his arms around himself and gave a sigh. In the distance, he could see Ranboo and Tubbo running around, most likely gathering materials for Sam Nook...

Gritting his teeth tightly, he felt a familiar burning behind his eyes before he stood up from a pile of dirt he claimed as a temporary chair. It took all of his power not to scream in emotional agony as he stormed away from the sight of his old best friend with someone else who he claimed as his new bestfriend.

Don't turn back...

With a few iron ingots and a low durability netherite sword to his name, Tommy walked as quickly as he could away from the memories. The sacrifices. The pain. The lonely feeling...

He had easily walked for a few hours, trying his hardest to find an area completely secluded from everything and everyone.

If they moved on once... They can move on twice..

He wanted to hold on.. He wanted to keep every little memory and object that he found comforting... But now... Everything he looked at caused a sharp pain to jolt through his heart...

He glanced up at the biome around him, only to frown slightly. It was a Dark Forest... But there was many problems..

He knew there were some large mushrooms, but he had never seen massive flowers bigger than a mansion! Everything... Felt weird... Somethings were incredibly varied in sizes! He spun around in awe as he stared at the different sized flowers and mushrooms scattered around him. Then... fear struck into his heart again...

Wilbur... He told him a story about a forest far to the north of L'manberg... Trees bigger than the eye could see, mushrooms taller than a house or smaller than a fingernail, flowers being anywhere from a millimeter tall to miles high into the air, all because of the land was protected by a Witch.

In the story, Wilbur said that only the lost and lonely would find that forest out of desperation to find salvation...

The Forest of the Forgotten...

His lips parted in surprise and he spun around to exit the land, in fear of upsetting the witch... Only to find a silhouette standing against the light a few inches away from him.

A not so manly scream tore from his throat and he hurriedly threw himself backwards, raising his arms above his head as he landed on the ground, "I'm sorry, Dream! I promise not to wander off again! Please don't take my stuff! Please I don't have anything left! Please...! Please!" He begged, tears spilling from his eyes as he scrambled backwards until he hit a tree. Tommy didn't even hear the foot steps wandering closer until a purple light rose into view.

He took a few gasps for air as he slowly lowered his hands. 'Dream's in prison. He's not here. He's not gonna hurt you again..' He carefully rose his gaze, only to see...

A young woman... She looked... Around his age!

She was kneeling on the ground a few feet away from him, just... Watching him. A black pointy hat was balanced on her (h/l) (h/c) hair that was nicely framing her (s/t) face. Her eyes were analyzing his every movement as they surged with purple flames... But they weren't threatening or violent... They were curious but calm..

He stared at her for a solid few seconds before realizing that the soft purple glow was coming from a ball of coloured fire in her hand. Mesmerized by the energy, Tommy hardly noticed when a dull pink glow appeared in his vision, only when the woman made effort to talk, did he notice.

"I... Don't know who Dream is.. But, I'm not here to take your stuff. That's a promise." She smiled softly, and moved her hand that held the pink glow closer to him. It... Was a Regeneration Potion. "Here, you look a little... Uhm... How do I say this nicely... Torn up...?"

Tommy couldn't hold back a frown as he rubbed his eyes free of tears. He forgot that his injuries from Dream hadn't healed yet... And probably wouldn't be healed for a long time. "Thanks... I guess.." He grumbled in an attempt to save whatever dignity he had left.

While he was considered naive, he wasn't stupid. He knew not to trust strangers immediately, so he uncorked the bottle and smelt it as he analyzed the colour to make sure it was really regeneration potion. At first, he wasn't going to drink it, but he quickly remembered that it wasn't like he had anything to lose, so he took a small sip.

It was dangerously sweet, much sweeter than Phil or Techno's potions, but it definitely wasn't awful and it for certain wasn't poison. He rolled his shoulders as he continued to sip at the potion while she stood up.

Dusting her black robe and dark (f/c) dress of any dirt, despite them being already dirty and a bit tattered, the (h/c) woman stood up and continued to clean the dirt off. "It will be getting dark soon... I'm not much of a fighter, so I will not be able to fend for the both of us if need be. Do you have a shelter nearby or would you like to seek refuge with me for the night?"

Did this crazy woman not know the meaning of stranger danger?

☆Your P.O.V☆

No matter how much you threw yourself into your studies, the looming loneliness never seemed to leave you..

Keeping to your daily routine, you begrudgingly lifted yourself out of bed and sat down at your vanity, glaring at your reflection that bared knotted hair and sleepy (e/c) eyes. Your non dominant hand stretched out towards your closet and watched as your irises lit up a bright surging purple, activating your magic. Your dominant hand began to run a brush through your hair while your other hand controlled the magic that was currently being used to sort through the row of clothes in your closet. Once you found an outfit that you deemed adequate, you made a quick gesture with your hand that caused the clothing to float onto your bed.

It didn't take very long to get ready, I mean, come on, you were in a large forest miles away from the closest village! It's not like you were going to be seeing anyone for a few more centuries.

Your house was cozy and rather small, but it housed you and your black cat Salem comfortably. It was nice and quiet where you lived.. Albeit dark and lonely..

The trees often covered the sun and prevented you from knowing what time it was, but you had stopped caring about the date long ago. It never mattered to you anyway.

"Yeah, yeah. Quit meowing. You act like you haven't eaten in a year." You rolled your eyes at the dramatic feline as you prepared your own breakfast first. Salem kept meowing loudly, standing beside her food bowl and swatting it every so often until you used your magic to toss a fish to her. "You done with your whining now? Big baby."

You rolled your eyes as you sat down with your bowl and quickly ate the fruits you had sliced up. Downside to living here, you primarily survived off of fruits and berries because animals rarely wandered into the forest, and if they did, well you kept them for their resources like milk or eggs or wool.

With a small sigh, you got up and washed your bowl, via magic so you didn't have to feel the burning sensation of the water on your skin, as you contemplated what you were going to do today.

Eventually you decided on going to walk through the forest to find more animals or scavenge for more fruits. Throwing your bag over your shoulder, you double checked that it was stocked up with healing and regeneration potions just in case, only to throw your shoes on. Waving good bye to your lazy annoying cat, that you still love regardless, you shut the door and walked down the path.

The silence was normal... But god it was deafening when something stepped on a branch or when one of your chickens decided to give a particularly loud squawk, but it did indeed heighten your senses.

Giving a sigh, you rose your hand and a purple pulse flew from your hand then trailed down your body and travelled through the forest. Your magic didn't detect anything out of the ordinary except for once thing near the entrance.

"Ah.. God.. Please don't be a zombie.. I'm not a fighter.." You whispered under your breath before setting off towards the untouched and overgrown entrance of the forest.

Arriving to the main path, you looked over a little bit to see a tall blond male spinning around in absolute awe of the forest.

He then took a sharp breath and spun around, almost immediately coming face to face with you. The loudest scream you had ever heard left the boy and he quickly stumbled backwards until he fell to the ground and hit a tree, "I'm sorry, Dream! I promise not to wander off again! Please don't take my stuff! Please I don't have anything left! Please...! Please!" He practically cried apologies while he curled into a wall.

'What kind of reaction was that?!' You thought curiously as you kneeled down a few feet in front of him. Assuming that the dark had freaked him out, you summoned a ball of fire and held it out, using the time to study the strange boy. His dirty shirt was ripped and torn in several places, his skin was decorated with mud, soot, cuts, bruises and scars and his cheeks were damp with tears. His breath was turning into gasps as his thin frame shook violently.

"Hey... Are you okay?"

He didn't seem to hear as he began murmuring quietly to himself, rocking back and forth a small bit to calm himself down. After a few moments, he lowered his arms and stared blankly at the magic in your palm.

Seeing the injuries on his pale skin, you dug into your bag and pulled out a glowing pink potion before holding it out to him. He didn't seem to notice it until you cleared your throat. "I... Don't know who Dream is.. But, I'm not here to take your stuff. That's a promise." You smiled as politely as possible, and moved your hand that held the potion closer to him. "Here, you look a little... Uhm... How do I say this nicely... Torn up...?"

The male grumbled a bit under his breath but looked genuinely thankful as he took a small sip of the potion. After deeming it wasn't poisoned, he began to take larger drinks of it.

"It will be getting dark soon... I'm not much of a fighter, so I will not be able to fend for the both of us if need be. Do you have a shelter nearby or would you like to seek refuge with me for the night?"

Honestly... The face he made amused you quite a bit...

#tommyinnit #tommyinnit x reader #tommyinnit x you #tommy mcyt #tommyinnit mcyt #dreamsmp #tommy dreamsmp #dreamsmp x reader #dsmp x reader #reader insert #x reader

[the-modernmary]

my best habit || aaron hotchner x reader (prologue)

Summary: When Aaron Hotchner ended your affair with him, saying that a serial killer was going after him and his family, you were content with the idea that you'd probably never see him again. Two years have come and gone since then, but when you get dragged into an FBI investigation as a key witness, you and Hotch are forced to come face to face with all the things left unsaid.

Warnings: Age gap (15-ish years), smut, degradation, unprotected sex. This story is 18+ older. This is not a story for minors.

A/N: Hello, hello!! I figured that since I've made a writing tumblr, I should post my story on here!! This is a multichapter story, so I am very excited to go on this journey with y'all!! I already have multiple chapters written and published, so these should be coming out VERY quickly. If you don't want to wait to catch up, you can read everything I have on ao3! This chapter starts as a flashback, and then the next chapter and the rest from here on out will be actual plot!

masterlist || read on ao3

“If you were waitin’ on the sunshine, blue sky

Cheap high, lullaby

Then my best habit’s letting you down”

- The Maine, “My Best Habit”

Two years earlier

Your eyes scanned the University Ballroom, your champagne glass practically ignored in your hand. You hated all these alumni networking galas and avoided going to them as much as possible. Old, sleazy lawyers with much younger women on their arm reliving their best cases with each other and expecting all the new law students to laugh when they were able to get their defendant acquitted because of some dumb technicality. It made you sick.

It didn’t help that you were already going in with a bad attitude. Your ex-boyfriend had dropped by your apartment that morning to pick up the rest of his stuff, and he decided that the best person to help him with that was the girl he had been cheating on you with. You caught them together three weeks ago, and you had been so stressed from midterms that you hadn’t even had the chance to go out, get drunk, and have wildly irresponsible rebound sex.

But you had to suck it up for the night, at least until you were able to get the answer you came for. After that, you could go back to your apartment, replace your too tight and too short dress with some nice pajamas, and watch trashy reality TV until you passed out on your couch.

You scanned the room a few more times until you caught sight of a tall man in a dark suit leaning against the bar. Bingo. You set your champagne flute down and ran over to him as fast as your heels could take you. Once you were just a few steps away, you quickly composed yourself and walked straight into his line of sight.

SSA Aaron Hotchner rarely came to alumni events here at George Washington Law School, citing that he wasn’t even a prosecutor anymore and had much more important work to do back at the BAU, but he was going as favor to his old law school buddy. Plus, it was either coming to this or going out to the bar with the team, and seeing as he had just signed the divorce papers with Haley, he wanted to be somewhere he wasn’t going to be profiled all night. The free champagne was also a bonus.

When you saw that his name was on the RSVP list, you knew that you had to go.

“Agent Hotchner?” you asked, giving him your best straight A student smile.

He refused to look up right away, not giving you the chance to charm him. “I’m not currently on duty. If there is a case you would like the BAU to look over, that’s handled by our media liaison,” he said absently, taking another sip of champagne.

You frowned but kept your hand out for him to shake. “That’s not what I’m here for, I-” You took a breath to compose yourself. “My name is Y/N Y/L/N. I’m a first year here- getting a joint JD and masters in forensic psychology. My goal is to become a prosecutor,” you pressed, and you were rewarded when he perked up in interest. He slid his drink on the table.

“Most law firms don’t usually want a prosecutor who’s going to empathize with the person you’re prosecuting,” he mused, and shook your hand, his grip just tight enough to pass as faux politeness.

You shook your head and clasped your hands behind your back, trying to ignore how warm his hands were. “I think the best prosecutors empathize with the defendants,” you admitted. “Isn’t that how you succeeded as both a prosecutor and as a federal agent? That’s actually why I came to you, I wanted to ask you a question... about my thesis,” you added quickly, figuring that the best way to get him to talk to you.

Aaron’s posture changed from half asleep to maybe listening, and your face went red. Sure, you only came to the event to talk to him, but you never thought that you’d actually get Aaron Hotchner to pay attention to you. “I didn’t empathize with the people I was putting in jail,” he told you, his voice ice cold. “That didn’t come until I worked in the BAU, and even now, I wouldn’t call it empathy. Just understanding of how they became the type of person they are.” He leaned sideways on the bar counter and you felt yourself shrink under his gaze. You shifted slightly and felt the hem of your dress move up your thighs ever so slightly. Aaron noticed too, if the lick of his lips was anything to go by.

You took his silence as your signal to ask your question. “You offered Jessica Michaelson a lesser sentence that had her released in just three years despite the fact that she murdered her brother in cold blood in his sleep. You had the evidence, why didn’t you push for premeditation?” you asked, and his eyebrow quirked upwards. “In the case The People vs. Michaelson,” you added unnecessarily, trying to break the silence.

“I know the case you’re referring to. I was the lead on it,” he reminded you, his voice edging on dangerous. “You know, most people aren’t interested in my days as a lawyer.”

You shrugged, hoping to appear more confident than you felt. “I’m not most people,” you agreed, biting down on your lower lip. His gaze was so intense, and it was affecting you in ways you couldn’t have imagined. It was turning you on, you realized with a start. It had been a while since you had last had sex, and it was driving you only slightly crazy. “But that doesn’t answer my question.”

Aaron grabbed a champagne flute from a server walking by, and shoved it in your direction. You grabbed it cautiously. “Did you read the police report on the case?” he asked, and you nodded wordlessly, taking a sip of the champagne. The alcohol was making you bolder, and you stepped towards him. “Then you’ll know that there was very little physical evidence tying her to the muder. We chose to offer the charge that would have stuck instead of risking her being found not guilty.”

You gritted your teeth together in an effort to calm yourself down. “She murdered four people within the six months after she was released from prison,” you reminded him.

That seemed to have struck a chord with Aaron, and his steely persona seemed to fade ever so slightly. He sighed exasperatedly; you were obviously getting on his nerves. “The prints and DNA that were collected and put into VICAP when she was in prison are what got her caught in the end, and that was the evidence needed to lock her away for life. We wouldn’t have gotten those prints without her original charge. It all worked out.”

You groaned and threw your hands in the air. “You couldn’t have predicted that, though,” you argued. “And people have been found guilty with way less evidence than you had in the original case. I think you just felt bad for her, considering her brother was a real piece of shit.” You were being difficult now, you knew that. But there was something about Aaron Hotcher that was pulling you in, and you wanted to see how far you could push him.

Aaron gave you a predatory grin and he stepped towards you ever so slightly, finishing his drink. He must have had multiple drinks too, judging by the soft flush on his face. “Oh, you do?” He seemed amused now. He slowly raked his eyes from your face, down your neck, and down the rest of your body, and you forgot how to breath. You knew that it was inappropriate and that he was a highly respected FBI agent, even if he was kind of an asshole at the moment. You also knew that the two of you were crossing lines that neither of you should have even been close to, but you shivered under the weight of his gaze all the same.

You shifted back and forth, your brain trying to process what was happening. “Yeah, I do. And I know that you transferred to the FBI after Michaelson was arrested again, which makes me think that this case was your breaking point,” you ranted, your hands becoming more and more animated.

Aaron chuckled, but there was very little amusement behind it. “Are you sure you want to be a lawyer?” he asked, cocking his head to the side. “Because you’re starting to talk like a profiler.”

You arched an eyebrow at him. “No thanks,” you said firmly, and he just shrugged before making a move to walk past you. You sidestepped in front of him, effectively blocking him from going anywhere. But it was obvious that he was done talking about this.

In your mind, you had two options now. You could keep pushing him about a case that he obviously didn’t want to talk to you about, or you could switch gears in your brain and have him help you solve your... other problem. Aaron was attractive, and you were getting tired of guys your age. You noticed the distinct lack of a wedding ring on his finger, but there was still a tan to show that it had been there. So either he was recently separated or just trying to cheat on his wife. You wanted to not care whichever it was, but a pang in your heart told you to be considerate. Besides, you did not want to get involved with another cheater.

“Must be hard to be at these events without your wife here to scare off all the lonely female law students,” you mused cautiously. You didn’t want to come on too strong, but the alcohol in your system was slowly clouding your ability to be subtle.

Aaron cleared his throat, obviously taken aback by the sudden shift in conversation. “I’m not married,” he said, too quickly and too defensively. So he’s separated, you thought, and you stepped closer to him.

His eyebrows furrowed as he tried to figure out your endgame. “Well, I would love to discuss your work as a prosecutor more when there are less… distractions around,” you whispered, your words breathy. “Tell me Agent Hotchner, do I make you nervous?” You sounded a lot more confident than you felt.

Aaron just smirked and grabbed your free hand, covering it in both of his, and the action was surprisingly soft, even if it was way too late for him to try acting suave. His eyes, on the other hand, told a whole other story. His pupils were so dilated that his eyes were practically black. “I face the worst people in society on a daily basis. Desperate law students don’t make me nervous. In fact…” He stepped towards you, looking around to make sure nobody else was looking. Aaron leaned in close, his lips brushing against your ear with every word. “I think that I make you nervous. And more than nervous, I make you very excited.”

Your breath hitched as he pulled back, a smug smile gracing his lips. You yanked your hand back to preserve what little dignity you had left, but it was too late. “Now, if you would like to discuss my prosecuting career more in depth, then you can set up a formal meeting with me at the BAU,” he continued, obviously proud of himself and the effect he was having on you. He pulled out a business card and upon further instruction, you realized that it wasn’t even his. Jennifer Jareu the name read. “Our media liaison will be able to help you organize that. Now if you don’t mind, I am going to retire for the night.”

Aaron finished the rest of his drink and brushed past you while you were still trying to get your thoughts under control. “Oh, and you’ll make a wonderful lawyer someday, I’m sure of it,” he called over his shoulder, and that snapped you back into action.

You followed, running around him and cutting him off. “And if I don’t want to discuss your prosecuting career?” you asked, batting your eyelashes at him. “What if I was interested in a… less formal meeting?”

That was all the permission he needed. Aaron grabbed your hand and pulled you out of the ballroom, the two of you moving so fast that nobody in the room even had a chance to put two and two together. There was an empty hallway just next to the entrance of the room and Aaron pulled you in that direction, pressing you against the wall and kissing you fiercely the second the two of you were alone.

There was nothing gentle about the kiss, but in a strange role reversal, he let you take the lead. It’s certainly not what you expected from Aaron Hotchner who, until now, had been controlling every aspect of your meeting. You realized then that this was his way of making sure you were okay with what was happening- giving you a chance to back out and change your mind. You just answered by tangling your hands in his hair, pulling so that he was at just the right angle to kiss you.

Aaron dug his fingers into your hips, hard enough to make you gasp out. You were definitely going to have bruises the next day, but you couldn’t be bothered to care. He shoved his leg in between yours and tugged on your lip with his teeth, which made you whimper involuntarily. He smirked against your lips, obviously proud of the noises he was drawing from you. You pulled on his hair harder as a sign of irritation, but that seemed to only make him more amused as he pulled away to laugh into your neck.

“Are we just going to make out against a wall like we’re back in high school, or are you going to actually do something worth my time?” you breathe, fighting to keep your voice even and light. It only halfway worked as he dragged his tongue up your neck to your pulse point. And then he bit down, hard.

It took everything in your power to stay quiet, especially as he softly kissed the newly forming bruise. His attack on your neck was relentless as he pulled your hips and back forth against his thigh. You whimpered as you desperately tried to get any friction from the simple movement. Your skirt was now dangerously close to being pushed so far up your legs that you would be completely exposed.

You pulled away first- you had to or your legs were going to completely give out from under you. You desperately tried to get your breathing under control and, to your annoyance, he looked perfectly composed. The only thing giving him away was his slightly swollen lips.

His fingers trailed up your thigh, getting so close to where you want him. “What would you like me to do then?” he asked easily, his voice almost sounding bored. You were speechless, like your brain had just short circuited. There were a lot of things you wanted him to do, but the words were lost on the tip of your tongue. “If you want something, you have to ask for it.” That was a demand, and he punctuated it by pressing his thigh further into you. You were sure he was going to have a wet spot on his slacks. He took the hand not in between your legs and grabbed your jaw forcefully, his thumb resting on your bottom lip. “Use your words, little girl.”

You realize that the two of you were standing on the edge of a cliff, and you had the power to decide whether or not to jump over. It gave you a strange sense of power. Logically, you knew it was a bad idea. He was too old for you, obviously going through some sort of relationship trauma, and wasn’t somebody you could talk to your friends and family about. But the less rational side wanted him so badly it hurt. You wanted him more than you’ve wanted anything or anyone in a long time.

You noticed your strawberry colored lipstick was smudged ever so slightly on the corner of his mouth, and that’s all it took for you to jump off the side of the cliff. “I want you to drag me into the empty classroom just down the hall and fuck me senseless. I want you to use me,” you moan before taking his thumb into your mouth and sucking.

The look on his face is something you’ll never forget. There was a mix of shock and arousal, but also something primitive; His eyes darkened when you told him to use you, and there was a fluttering in your stomach. You couldn’t tell if it was from excitement or dread. Maybe even both.

He removed his hands from your mouth and legs, only to place his hand on the small of your back. He began walking towards the classroom you had pointed out, much too slow for your liking, but he knew exactly what he was doing. “You’re going to regret asking me to use you,” he practically growls in your ear, each word increasing your arousal. “Are you one of those lonely female law students you warned me about? So desperate and needy for a real man to bend you over a table and fuck you until you can’t walk straight? Ready and willing to whore yourself out for the first man who gives you a second glance?”

Your breath hitched as you stuttered out your answer. “Y-yes, Agent Hotchner,” you whispered as he opened the classroom door and guided you in.

As soon as the door was shut and locked, he was back on your lips again, lifting you so that you were sitting on one of the desks with your legs wrapped around his waist. “Call me Aaron,” he mumbled in between kisses, and you were all too happy to oblige.

You were a moaning mess at this point as his hands pushed your dress up to your waist. His hands and lips were somehow everywhere at once and you were so hot and all you could think about was getting your damn dress off, but Aaron seemed to have other plans.

He ran his fingers up your lace covered slit and he just chuckled into your lips. “You’re so wet for me, already,” he groaned and you let out an embarrassingly loud moan. “And I’ve barely touched you. Do my words really have that much effect on you? Do you like it when I call you a whore?”

He hooked his fingers under the waistband of your panties and quickly pulled them down. You could feel his bulge pressing against you and all you could think about was how badly you wanted it. How badly you wanted him. Your hands moved down his chest to make quick work of his belt, and his pants followed after.

“Please, please Aaron,” you begged, desperately trying to create some friction against him. His fingers tangled in your hair and he pulled your head back so that you were looking at him.

“You’re so pretty when you beg.” His fingers slowly ran up your slit, not enough to give you any pleasure. He was teasing you and enjoying every second of it. “And I wish I could take my time with you. The things I want to do to you…” Two of his fingers entered you and you cried out loudly. “But somebody could walk in on us at any second. I’m sure they can all hear you moaning like a dirty whore, all for me. But you’d like that, wouldn’t you? So desperate for my attention and approval.”

His words turned you on more than you would have liked to admit. “Yes, Aaron yes. Please-” you were cut off by Aaron curling his fingers, hitting that spot that made you want to scream out in pleasure. But all too soon, they were gone.

He inspected his fingers, which were now covered in your juices, before bringing them to your mouth. “Suck,” he ordered, and you eagerly complied, wrapping your lips around his fingers and moaning at the taste of yourself. “I’ll just have to fuck you quickly here, and then you’ll be begging for more next time,” he groaned and finally- finally- entered you.

He didn’t give you time to adjust to him, thrusting roughly into you. He removed his fingers from your mouth and brought his hand to your neck. He didn’t put any pressure, but he wanted you to know that he could and would if you decided to get mouthy with him.

Your hands gripped the edge of the desk you were sitting on, your knuckles turning white. Your eyes started to close in pleasure as his hips slammed into yours, but they shot open as he tightened his grip on your throat. “Look at me. I want to see you when you cum,” he ordered, and you nodded the best you could.

“Yes sir!” you cried out, unsure of what else to say.

Seemingly satisfied with your answer, Aaron released your throat and moved his hand down so that he was stimulating your clit. You could feel the coil in your stomach tighten as your legs started to twitch. Aaron took this as motivation to slam into you even harder, relishing each time you gasped out his name.

His pace was unforgiving, leaving you gasping for air. Keeping your eyes open was a challenge, but you were able to do it with his soft mutters of praise. “Even brats like you can be good girls,” he groaned, his thrusts becoming erratic. “You just need somebody to fuck it into you.”

You were unable to respond coherently, so you just settled on begging even more, although you weren’t sure what you were begging for exactly. Aaron seemed to know, and he sped up his fingers against your clit. You wanted to scream out for him, but your voice wasn’t working. “What did I say before?” he asks roughly. “If you want something, ask for it.”

“Please… please can I cum?” you cried out, feeling yourself getting close to the edge. “Please let me cum around your cock!”

He nodded in approval and you had to muffle yourself in his neck to keep quiet. He fucked you through your orgasm, the overstimulation almost too much, but it wasn’t long before he was moaning your name, and you felt him fill you.

The two of you stayed like that for a few moments, both breathing heavily as the situation started to sink in. You just let a guy almost 15 years older than you that you just met fuck you in an empty classroom, and you really enjoyed it. Aaron, on the other hand, looked like he was going through a full crisis.

He pulled out of you slowly, and you winced at the feeling. He pulled up his pants quickly. “Fuck,” he muttered under his breath, looking around the empty classroom. “I don’t have anything good to clean you up with.” A box of kleenex caught his eye and he grabbed a few tissues. It was better than nothing.

You chuckled nervously and waved it off. “It’s fine,” you promised, your voice coming out shakier than you expected, but he ignored you. He wiped the mess dripping down your thighs. You were cold. He must have noticed, because he took off his suit jacket and wrapped it around your shoulders.

“Are you okay?” Aaron asked softly, and it was a full 180 from the way he had just been talking to you.

“I’m great,” you admitted honestly. “Seriously, that was… great.”

Aaron smiled at you- the first real smile he had given you all night. “It wasn’t too much?” he confirmed, and you suddenly remembered what he had said to you earlier. ...then you’ll be begging for more next time. Was he planning on a next time? You wouldn’t have minded it.

You shook your head and slowly slid off the table. You took one of the tissues and wiped up the mess that was left on the table. “Not at all. In fact, I could take more. Next time.” Your voice was light and airy. Aaron watched as you picked your underwear off the floor. There was no way you were putting those back on, not when you had no idea when the floor was last cleaned.

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” he teased, eyeing you carefully.

“Well I can’t keep it if I only have your media liaison’s number,” you reminded him, your eyebrow raised. Aaron chuckled and pulled out another business card, except this time it was his. You plucked the card out of his hands and inspected it carefully. “I’ll call you sometime. You can do all those other things we didn’t have time to do.” You were on your tiptoes now, whispering in his ear. “You know… my mouth can do a lot more than just ask for things.” As you spoke, you slipped your panties into his back pocket. You just laughed as you heard a soft gasp escape his lips.

You made your way towards the door, your legs wobbling dangerously underneath you. You were sure that you looked like a mess, but you didn’t care. All that mattered to you was Aaron Hotchner’s eyes glued to your ass. “Get home safe,” he told you and you let yourself smile. Maybe it was a bad idea to start sleeping with a recent divorcee, but the sex was great and you both knew where you stood with the other person. No feelings, just fucking out your frustrations and stress.

Oh yeah, coming to this event was definitely a good call on your part.

#criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner fanfiction #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x y/n #hotch x reader #aaron hotchner smut #my best habit #my writing

[robininthelabyrinth]

Tedious Joys - Chapter 2 -

- Ao3 link -

“If you want A-Jue at this time of day, he’ll be at the training field,” Lao Nie said, standing up and immediately striding off in that direction. “Oh, and Qiren, I will warn you – he has his mother’s height.”

Lan Qiren rolled his eyes as he followed behind. “That’s helpful information,” he remarked. “Right up until you recall that I have never had the pleasure of meeting his mother –”

He stopped talking and stared.

“I didn’t think a further explanation was necessary,” Lao Nie said. He wasn’t quite at the level of sniggering into his sleeve, but he certainly had a shit-eating grin. Lao Nie was not a short man by any standard, although he was squatter, more muscular and more broad-shouldered than the tall and slender Lan sect  – and yet…

“He’s under ten,” Lan Qiren checked, and Lao Nie nodded. “You’re sure.”

“I was present at the birth myself, and have cared for him ever since. And before you ask, I may be busy with my duties as sect leader, but I still feel like I would have noticed someone swapping him out for a child several years older.”

Lan Qiren squinted out at the training field, where a child (and it was a child, given the amount of baby fat in his cheeks, even if the overall size was more what he’d expect of a teenager) was happily dismembering a training dummy with an especially fearsome-looking saber under the tolerant supervisory gaze of the training master.

“Lao Nie,” Lan Qiren finally said. “About that first wife of yours…you would tell me if she were an actual giant – or a goddess –”

Lao Nie laughed and patted him on the back. He did not answer the question.

“A-Jue! Come here!” he shouted, and Nie Mingjue – demonstrating excellent discipline – completed his strike before turning around and trotting over to his father. “Say hello to Teacher Lan.”

“Teacher Lan,” Nie Mingjue said obediently, saluting properly like every small child introduced to a stranger, and then looked up. A smile suddenly spread over his face. “Oh, Teacher Lan! Fighting without permission is prohibited!”

Lan Qiren choked and Lao Nie burst out laughing.

“That was seven years ago,” Lan Qiren protested, and Lao Nie only howled more. “You were an infant. How do you even remember that?”

“It was interesting!” Nie Mingjue beamed. “You said that every word in the rule is like a principle – even if you have the rule, you have to agree on what it means. What counts as fighting, what counts as permission, what counts as prohibited…I use it lots!”

“He has a good memory,” Lao Nie said, wiping his eyes. “You should hear how many profanities he’s learned.”

“I would rather not,” Lan Qiren said hastily, because Nie Mingjue looked on the verge of volunteering to recite them. “Nie Mingjue, can you show me around?”

“Of course, Teacher Lan! Let me just put Baxia away first; I’m not allowed to carry her outside the training field yet. Unless there’s an accident, of course.”

Lan Qiren did not ask. As a sect leader who did not share a border with Qishan Wen, he didn’t think he had the right.

“Take your time,” he said, putting his hands behind his back and watching as Nie Mingjue ran away.

“Would it help to have me there?” Lao Nie asked, and nodded when Lan Qiren shook his head. “I’ll leave you two to it.”

Lan Qiren did not put forward any requests, curious to see where Nie Mingjue would take him, and was reluctantly charmed by the fact that their first destination was the nursery, where several pudgy toddlers of indeterminable age were sleeping.

“My baby brother,” Nie Mingjue explained, very seriously, inadvertently driving home that the fact that he was as tall as Lan Qiren’s elbow didn’t make him any older than he was. “He’s little.”

Lan Qiren couldn’t even tell which one of the indiscriminate toddlers wrapped in blankets was meant to be Nie Huaisang, but he nodded, and Nie Mingjue led him onwards, initially mostly silent with belated shyness but eventually coaxed into chattering.

In the evening, he returned to Lao Nie’s study.

“Well?” Lao Nie asked, face creased into the scowl he had on more often than not, despite being widely considered one of the more even-tempered Nie. “What do you think?”

“I think your son is a bright and enthusiastic boy,” Lan Qiren said. “With a remarkable sense of justice and morality that will serve him well, although maybe not so much in terms of politics. He’s very…straightforward.”

“Yes, well, I’m still holding out hope on A-Sang for the tact,” Lao Nie said. “That wasn’t my question and you know it.”

Lan Qiren tried to collect his thoughts. “I don’t think you’ve damaged him for life,” he finally said, and Lao Nie’s shoulders relaxed in a sudden exhalation of what was probably months of increasing stress. “I do think he would benefit from understanding a little bit more about what’s happening to him.”

“But he’s so young.”

“I know. Normally, I wouldn’t introduce the subject of his own mortality at this level of complexity this early – although I assume it’s hard for him to miss the concept entirely, given the political situation –” Lao Nie winced in acknowledgment. “– but I don’t think you have much of a choice. You’re not the only one who noticed the saber spirit.”

Lao Nie frowned, then understood, and frowned even deeper. “He’s noticed it?”

“I got him talking on the subject of his saber,” Lan Qiren said. “He regards it in the same manner as other children his age would an imaginary friend. It’s female, apparently.”

Based on the description, Baxia also had what he would, in one of his students, term a personality. He supposed it was possible that Nie Mingjue was just projecting the parts of himself that weren’t quite fit for company, since surely no one could be that earnest, and yet, based on what Lao Nie had told him…

Lao Nie groaned and put his hand to his head. “Jiwei didn’t develop a sense of gender for years,” he grumbled, and Lan Qiren was moderately certain that he hadn’t intended to admit that out loud. “This is ridiculous. I want him to live a good life, Qiren. A long one, insofar as that’s possible for our sect.”

“I’ll try to do some research,” Lan Qiren said. “In the meantime, could he be convinced to cultivate something else in addition to a saber? Music, perhaps?”

“You’re welcome to try. He’s practically tone-deaf.”

“Perhaps arrays, then, or talismans,” Lan Qiren said. “It would do him some good to find another thing to pour all that energy of his into.”

“I’ll think about it,” Lao Nie allowed. “And I appreciate any research you’re able to do, though of course there are limitations on your time – and what we can allow to be taken out of the Unclean Realm.”

Lan Qiren waved a hand. “It’s nothing. I enjoy keeping busy, and the subject is fascinating. Have you considered that regular visits by me might draw attention?”

Attention from within their sects they could handle, but they were both sect leaders – or acting sect leader, in Lan Qiren’s case – and their actions could never truly be wholly their own.

“I have a plan for that,” Lao Nie said. “It’ll work better if you don’t know about it, though.”

Lan Qiren hated plans like that.

“Very well,” he said, aware that he sounded like he was sulking. “If you must.”

“Could I send him to you next year?” Lao Nie asked, and Lan Qiren forgot his grumpiness to gape at him. “I wouldn’t impose this year, naturally, since you must already have a curriculum planned. But next year…”

“If you send him, that will be making a statement,” Lan Qiren said.

A statement about what, exactly, he did not know, but there was a major difference between being the sort of teacher that was respected enough to teach the sect heirs of some small, out-of-the-way sects and being entrusted with the childhood education of the heir to a Great Sect. Even if Nie Mingjue learned nothing, which seemed unlikely given his earnest performance from earlier, the other small sects would immediately want to follow suit, as if to rub off some of the same luck for themselves – he would be flooded with applicants.

His sect elders were going to hate it.

Although it wasn’t exactly against any of the rules…

“That’s why I’m asking your permission.” Lao Nie grinned at him, his teeth flashing white under his nearly trimmed beard. “Also, while you’re our guest here – you did plan to stay at least a week or two, right? Good, good. I will insist upon you joining me for some night-hunts.”

“Lao Nie…”

“I’ve explained to you how my sect cultivates our sabers. Are you really saying that you can judge that without seeing it happening?”

“You know perfectly well that I’m a weak fighter,” Lan Qiren said, even though that was a very good point, and one he probably would have insisted on himself sooner or later. “I don’t want to slow you down.”

“You never have,” Lao Nie said right to his face – the Nie sect did not discourage all lying, the scoundrels. “I’m serious! You’re not the fastest, no, but you’re perceptive, analytical, and creative. The insights I gain from hunting by your side are long-term gains, making me faster and more efficient in the future.”

“You’re flattering me,” Lan Qiren said suspiciously.

“I am not. The first time we went on a night-hunt together, you stopped by the river to rest and told me about how the flowers growing there were unique because they absorbed spiritual energy but not resentful energy on account of being too close to flowing water; three years later, I used that fact to find a gigantic nest of ghosts and demonic creatures that were using it as camouflage. They’d killed nearly a dozen villagers by that point and no one else could find them, but I did.”

Lan Qiren felt his ears heating up. “…that’s a coincidence.”

“Do you really want me to start naming other examples?”

“I would rather you showed me your library,” Lan Qiren said. He hoped he wasn’t blushing. He was probably blushing. No one else ever teased him the way Lao Nie did, except maybe Cangse Sanren. He was suddenly hit by a nostalgic desire to see her again. “At once, if you please. And also…”

He trailed off.

“Why the hesitation?” Lao Nie asked. “Do you really think there’s anything I would deny you, as long as you find a way to help my son?”

Lan Qiren cleared his throat. “It would be helpful if I could examine a more mature saber spirit that has already bonded to a human master. Your Jiwei, for instance.”

As he expected, Lao Nie scowled at the suggestion of someone else examining his spiritual weapon – and his saber spirit, no less – but after a few moments he collected himself and nodded, albeit begrudgingly. “I’ll leave her with you,” he said. “Be careful when you examine her – she doesn’t like to be touched by anyone but me.”

Lao Nie’s warning turned out to be both true, untrue, and an understatement of frankly shocking proportions.

During the course of Lan Qiren’s investigations into the subject of the Nie sect sabers over the next few months, and thereafter, he determined that the best, if not only, way to deal with Jiwei was to act as though he were handling a particularly vicious and single-minded dog.

Jiwei, it seemed, liked to bite.

If one treated her like a normal saber – an inert piece of metal – she would appear completely quiescent right up until there would be an abrupt and inexplicable accident, clattering off the table with the blade curving straight at clothing and flesh, and only very quick reflexes could prevent disaster. If one attempted to utilize spiritual energy with her, it would be even worse: she would pull as much as she could and feed back nothing, spiteful and ruthless.

A vicious creature, too quick to judge, loyal only to her master, who she loved.

A bit like Lao Nie, in fact. Lan Qiren did not delude himself into mistaking Lao Nie’s passion for righteousness – Nie Mingjue was righteous, a serious child that was always wondering what was right, while Lao Nie was more inclined towards brutal, even callous, practicality that focused on what benefited him and his sect. He would do good, of course, but he could not be forced into it; he had his pride, his temper, and sometimes he erred too much in favor of those over even common sense.

But despite all his rough edges, he did truly love his friends.

He dragged Lan Qiren all over Qinghe whenever he visited, on night-hunts and to resolve minor conflicts, the sort of thing any normal traveling cultivator might do; he showed him the small towns and the hidden cities that Lan Qiren would not have seen on any normal visit, and asked him to play songs for his little family. Nie Huaisang was enraptured by the music, Nie Mingjue largely indifferent – Lao Nie had not been wrong to call him practically tone-deaf – and Lao Nie beaming all the while, even if Lan Qiren suspected that his eldest son’s lack of musical appreciation had largely come from him.

He even, after a stray comment, managed to track down Cangse Sanren, who brought her husband and son to the Unclean Realm and left them in Nie Mingjue’s earnest care while she sat with the two of them, drinking liquor as if it were water to the point that even Lao Nie refused to compete with her – when his protests were eventually overridden, Lan Qiren (who drank tea, of course) was roped in to be their long-suffering judge.

It was a good night.

“Is that another thing I took from you?” He Kexin unexpectedly asked Lan Qiren a week after Lao Nie had publicly announced that he would be sending Nie Mingjue to the Cloud Recesses for Lan Qiren’s classes. The ensuing hubbub, as Lan Qiren expected, had been enormous, and he’d braced himself to discuss nothing else for months, although he hadn’t really expected her to mention it.

The Cloud Recesses separated men and women, and He Kexin had borne two sons; they were old enough by now to live primarily with the men rather than the women, and so they had entered Lan Qiren’s care. He brought them to visit her once a month, and came himself like clockwork every two weeks in between to update her as to their progress, his eyes fixed firmly above her head as he narrated the report as if he were a junior returning from a night-hunt. It was not her fault that his brother had fallen in love with her and ruined Lan Qiren’s life, but it had been her decision to murder a man that had served as the trigger for the situation; Lan Qiren was meticulous about his duty to her as his sister-in-law, but that didn’t mean he had to like it. Or her.

By this point, she was moderately good at respecting that. In the beginning, she’d cursed him viciously every time he came to see her, especially after he’d provided her with definitive proof of her former friend’s lies and machinations. Later, she’d tried flirting with him out of what he could only assume was boredom or perhaps a willful misunderstanding as to why he still visited, assuming that he had perfidious motivations or shared his brother’s taste in women instead of suffering from an overdeveloped sense of responsibility for his brother’s misdeeds. It had taken him several months and, eventually, an explicit offer to even notice, and he’d nearly broken his neck fleeing from the scene.

“I don’t understand what you mean,” he said, still looking above her head instead of at her face. He Kexin had A-Huan’s smile and A-Zhan’s eyes, he knew that, but if he could scrub all of her other features from his mind, he would.

“Sect Leader Nie,” she said, and it was so odd to hear someone refer to Lao Nie by his formal title outside of a political situation or deliberate insult – even Wen Ruohan habitually called him Lao Nie by now, and as far as Lan Qiren could tell, they despised each other – that Lan Qiren’s eyes actually dropped to meet hers. “If you weren’t sect leader, you could’ve married him.”

Lan Qiren choked on air. “Do you think of nothing but sex all day?” he spat out, his cheeks going red. “We are friends.”

“I don’t have much else to think of,” He Kexin said, and he glared as if to communicate whose fault is that and maybe in your next life you won’t solve your problems with murder. “I heard you’ve been spending a lot of time with him, and now he’s sending his son to your care. It’s suggestive.”

“Talking behind the backs of others is forbidden,” Lan Qiren reminded her, and she shrugged. “Do I need to discipline your servants?”

“It’s news, not gossip,” she said. “And no, these ones are fine. No one’s playing any tricks.”

There had been an incident early on, where a few of the servants assigned to care for He Kexin had mistaken her confinement for abandonment; they had not expected Lan Qiren to grimly continue visiting as he would have done if she had been his sister-in-law in the normal course of things, nor to listen when she complained. He had of course taken all necessary measures to have the offenders harshly disciplined and expelled, replaced with servants of good character and sufficient intelligence to keep her company without seeking to take advantage, and there had been no new incidents since.

Her punishment was confinement, not torment. No matter what Lan Qiren felt about her, she would receive exactly that – neither more nor less.

“Is it Cangse Sanren, then?” she asked, propping her head up on her chin. “You fell in love with her, and then she married another man…”

“Sometimes people are just friends,” he said, irritated. “Why must I be in love with anyone?”

He Kexin shrugged. “Don’t you want to marry, one day? Have children of your own, rather than always reporting back to me on mine?”

“I’m acting sect leader,” Lan Qiren said tightly. “A marriage, much less children, would give rise to accusations that I was seeking to usurp my brother’s place or my nephews’ inheritance.”

“So it is another thing I’ve done,” she said, looking down at her hands. They were clenched tightly into fists, her knuckles white; sometimes Lan Qiren thought she wanted to punch him as a means of venting her feelings, and sometimes he didn’t even blame her for it. “I had only been thinking about it in the sense that you couldn’t leave, but you can’t even bring anyone back.”

“I don’t especially want to, anyway,” he said, because it was true. Even if she was right, that even his right to marry freely had been taken from him, it didn’t mean that she had the right to use it as a whip on her own back. If Lan Qiren couldn’t bring himself to obey the rule about not holding grudges, he could at least follow the ones about being generous and easy on others. “I haven’t found the right person.”

“And it’s really not Lao Nie?” He Kexin asked. “You go to visit him often, and for longer periods, than you go anywhere else, and A-Huan says you look happy whenever you’re going to go.”

Lan Qiren shrugged. He was happy to go. He enjoyed Lao Nie’s company, and the research, even when Lao Nie was too busy for him personally, and Lao Nie’s role as an allied sect leader meant that Lan Qiren had more latitude in arranging such visits than he did to other places.

“…A-Zhan says that your hands are white when you return.”

Lan Qiren’s eyes dropped to his arms, where there was in fact some white peeking out from beneath his sleeves – white bandages on his left wrist and the two smallest fingers on his right hand, this time, from the latest incident in which Jiwei had tried to slash him, but it was barely a nick in comparison with previous instances; he thought that it was a sign that they might be getting somewhere.

A moment later, he realized the implications of her statement and glared at her. “You’re not seriously asking if Lao Nie is abusing me? Weren’t you asking about my marriage prospects with him only a moment ago?”

“The two are not mutually exclusive,” she said dryly. “And the Nie temper is well known.”

“It’s from research,” Lan Qiren said. “I dropped a saber and I knocked over the table on to my other hand when trying to dodge.”

“I believe you,” she said, lips twitching. “If only because you would’ve come up with a more dignified excuse if it was a lie.”

“I don’t actually have to explain myself to you,” he said, reminding himself as much as her. “Is there anything else you want to know about your sons?”

“No,” she said. “But I’d like my husband to visit me again, if you can arrange it.”

He nodded stiffly.

“You know,” she said, playing idly with her sleeves. “If you never marry, I’ll be the closest thing you ever have to a wife? You manage my house, you raise my children, and you even provide me with services in bed, albeit indirectly.”

Do not succumb to rage, Lan Qiren thought to himself, and left without another word.

(Later, when Cangse Sanren next visited the Cloud Recesses, her husband taking A-Huan on a ride on their donkey with A-Zhan and A-Ying tucked into the saddlebags, she listened to him stammer through the whole humiliating story and gnashed her teeth on his behalf. “Don’t listen to her,” she told him. “By that standard, the rabbits she likes to raise are her concubines.”)

His simmering anger made his next session with Jiwei flow more easily, almost as if the saber spirit empathized with his rage – or perhaps it was simply that she found it more familiar, more reminiscent of the temper of her true master, and therefore less objectionable. He was attempting to draw out some part of her anger through music and store it into a jade pendant: his theory was that the eventual qi deviations of the Nie sect leaders resulted from a lack of balance with the resentful energy utilized by the saber spirit – the negative emotions streaming in through the saber, strengthening it, but having no means of cleansing beyond outbursts of temper.

It had been the way Nie Mingjue spoke of his saber spirit as if she were his friend that had given him the idea. Many in the Nie sect treated their sabers with both reverence and fear, as if the spirits were vicious creatures they had only temporarily tamed and which would one day turn upon them, but Jiwei was passionately loyal to Lao Nie, and Baxia to Nie Mingjue. Perhaps it was his inheritance as a Lan showing, or merely his own experience with his brother, but Lan Qiren simply could not understand how anything that loved so unstintingly, so unreservedly, could ever bring themself to intentionally bring about their beloved one’s destruction.

Even a dog would refuse to bite a master it loved unless it had gone mad.

Therefore, he concluded, it was not merely the human wielder but the saber itself that deviated in their cultivation. Lao Nie had once said in an aside that it was unclear what came first, the Nie sect tempers or the saber spirit-incited outbursts, and although he had meant it as a joke, Lan Qiren thought there was some merit to the question. Rage served a valuable purpose for humans, acting as a warning sign that something was wrong, that something was unacceptable, rejection and protection all at once, but rage that could not be excised would turn rancid and sour, like a poisoned wound. Sabers were cultivated by their masters and resembled them – they were filled with human rage, intensified by their cultivation of resentful energy, but unlike a human they could not shout or hit something or vent in any way other than through hunting.

No wonder Jiwei was so content after a night-hunt; no wonder Nie sect cultivators got irritable when they hadn’t had time to cultivate their sabers or fight evil or just get out and do something. But with limited venting opportunities (humans could not fight evil all the time), the sabers would fall into obsession, infected by the very same resentful energy that they excised when they hunted – their bloodlust simultaneously sated and inflamed – and as their power grew, and their true opponents grew fewer, they would become insatiable and, eventually, unbalanced. Demonic cultivation was abhorred by the cultivation world because it opened the door to obsession and fixation, and the most common way that demonic cultivators died, if not executed by the world, was through a backlash of their own power. Obsession was by its nature rigid, and that was the sole weakness of the saber: they had to be rigid, but never too rigid, or else they would become brittle, would break.

Deviation.

It was a very interesting theory, even if Lao Nie’s eyes glazed over whenever Lan Qiren tried to explain. Lan Qiren didn’t take offense: Lao Nie had always been an exceptionally practical man, more interested in results than theories, actions rather than thoughts.

“Aren’t you disappointed?” Lan Qiren asked him at one point, abrupt as he always seemed to be about such things. “That I haven’t gotten anywhere?”

Lao Nie looked surprised. “What do you mean? You have a valid theory, you’ve tried all sorts of things.”

“I haven’t succeeded.”

Lao Nie laughed. “My friend, this is a problem that has stymied my sect for generations. Did you really think you’d be able to solve it in three weeks?”

Lan Qiren scowled. “It’s been closer to three years.”

“You’ve made progress,” Lao Nie said confidently. “A-Jue has as solid a foundation as I could hope for, and all those conversations you have with him about the nature of ethics and morality have had an excellent effect on his saber.”

“Has it?” Lan Qiren asked, skeptical. Even the Nie sect experts agreed that Baxia was unusually vicious for a saber, powerful enough to frighten wild yao simply with her presence – Nie Mingjue’s cultivation remained shockingly fast, and even Lan Qiren, who had only a few years understanding of the saber spirits, could recognize the effects of it.

“It has,” Lao Nie said firmly. “He doesn’t fear her, and she loves him all the more for it, backs him like none other; no other saber of his generation will so much as waver out of line with Baxia behind them. As for the rest…ah, Qiren, if you can figure out a way to stymie the saber spirit even a little – give him even another decade – I’ll be satisfied. Don’t worry about it.”

Lan Qiren huffed and returned to trying to transfer spiritual energy from Jiwei to the pendant.

“Besides, all this time spent on the project has had at least one good effect,” Lao Nie added, putting his hand on Lan Qiren’s shoulder as he played. “I get the pleasure of your company.”

Lan Qiren’s attention was fixed on his playing, but the hand was warm on his shoulder. “That hardly seems so much of a benefit,” he said absently.

“You underestimate yourself. Do you know, outside of my sect, I think you’re my best friend?”

Only years of training allowed Lan Qiren’s fingers to continue to move smoothly over the guqin strings when his heart seized in his chest, warm and hot and squished and painful and pleasurable at the same time.

He did not allow himself to ask “Really?” like a small child, insecure and uncertain, did not permit himself to say “even above my brother”, did not say anything at all.

“Thank you,” he finally said, stiff and wooden. “I…you as well.”

#mdzs #lan qiren #sect leader nie #nie mingjue #my fic #my fics #tedious joys

[waywardrose13]

Deliverance From Evil

Pairing: DARK!Dean Winchester x Reader (?), Sam x Reader (platonic)

Word Count: 11,054

Warnings: TRIGGER WARNING: Non-con, rape, physical and mental/emotional abuse. Ages 18+, virgin!reader, language, mentions of depression/anxiety, curse, purgatory, purgatory!Dean, hateful remarks, negative self image, mentions of suicidal thoughts, not enough editing to satisfy me. Please let me know if I missed any triggers/warnings.

Rating: Mature- 18+!! If I find that you are under 18, you will be blocked. Go read some of my minor friendly stories.

Summary: Dean Winchester had two sides; the selfless, caring man who loved his baby brother, car, and pie; and the cruel, sadistic man who was hell bent on making Y/n’s life a living hell. When Dean, Cas, and Y/n are sucked into Purgatory, things take a turn for the worse. Two years later, Y/n finds herself face to face with the man who broke her. A new discovery leads to Y/n finding out the truth, yet sometimes, the truth is better left unsaid.

A/N- This story is very dark and can be triggering to some readers. Please do not read if any of the above warnings are triggering to you. I have also listed some resources below if you are in need of help. I love you all!

Bingo squares: @spndarkbingo​ (Purgatory!Dean) // @badthingshappenbingo​ (This is for your own good) // @spndeanbingo​ (Soulmates AU)

U.S. National Sexual Violence Hotline:  [phone]

U.S. National Domestic Abuse Hotline: [phone]

The idea of Purgatory wasn’t what put me on edge. It wasn’t the monsters constantly down your throat, or the blood, sweat, and tears that somehow never seemed to stop. It was Dean Winchester’s sinister stare and cruel remarks that put me on edge.

I didn’t hate the man. If I was being honest, I felt quite the opposite, but it was more of a feeling of distress. Ever since meeting him, something about me had made him loathe me. I wasn’t sure what it was, nor have I ever asked, but whatever it is, I have never been able to make him at least tolerate me. 

Sam and I had met in college. I was a freshman when he was a senior, and he tutored me for a while. We became friends, and soon we found out the both of us had gone to college to escape the hunting life. We grew apart for years, naturally coming back together on a hunt. 

I had been at the bunker with the Winchesters ever since, much to the elder brother’s dismay. And ever since then, Dean had made it his job to make my life a living hell.

It started out as small jabs at me; little comments that had an underlying, cruel meaning to them. Or forgetting to pick me up from police stations, houses, etc, or not bringing back food for me. But slowly, it evolved into something more. He began openly being cruel towards me, saying things that made me cry in bed at night. He’d shove me when Sam wasn’t looking, he’d purposely break my things, bleach my clothes, point out my insecurities for a laugh. 

I honestly thought the bullying ended in high school. 

I hadn’t fallen in love with the person he was towards me. I had fallen in love with the person he was to others. He was selfless and caring. He was brave, intelligent, and had a killer sense of humor. And the simple sight of him made me weak at the knees. But whenever his words were spoken to me, or his glare was pointed at me, I sometimes forgot who he was when he wasn’t hating me.

Something must have been wrong with me. How could I love a man who was so ruthlessly callous to me? Although I had tried to stop the feelings, it was like an inexplicable pull vehemently caused me to fall into a confusing love with this man. It was unstoppable, and however much I prayed or wished for it to leave, the feeling never ceased.

“Hey, Y/N!” I jumped as Dean barked at me, and I snapped myself out of it, looking towards him. “Get your head out of the damn clouds and move your ass.”

I sighed, hoisting my makeshift bag onto my shoulder, trudging after him and Benny. 

After Dean killed Dick Roman, he, Cas and I were swallowed into Purgatory along with the Leviathan, too close to the impact sight, apparently. I immediately knew I was fucked when Dean looked at me dead in the eyes when we landed and told me he’d rather go to hell than be stuck with me in a place like this. 

“We need her, Dean,” Cas had said. Dean had rolled his eyes, scoffing.

“We need her like we need the plague, Cas,” he snarled. I flinched at his words, and I closed my eyes for a moment to keep the tears at bay. “I mean for fucks sake.”

“Look, the way I see it, I don’t care if you hate her, but we need all the help we can get. And she’s a good hunter despite everything else you, for some reason, hate about her.” 

It was the first time someone had stood up for me. It wasn’t long, however, before Dean and I were on our own, Cas seemingly taking off after a particularly rough fight. He ignored me the whole time, not saying any words to me, but using his shoulder to roughly shove me out of his way from time to time. The way I saw it, he wasn’t verbally abusing me anymore. I could manage a few shoves.

When Benny joined our team of two, Dean began speaking again, and we continued the search for Cas.

So here we were now, walking through the dense forest of Purgatory, eyes and ears constantly alert. It was like the start of a bad joke; two hunters and a vampire walk through purgatory…

“Don’t mind him, Cher,” Benny murmured to me. “He’s in a mood.”

“He’s always in a mood around me, Benny,” I said. “Nothing I do will ever change that.”

“Benny, quit gossiping with her and get over here,” Dean said, voice hushed. He was crouched down over the edge of a cliff, Benny and I making our way to crouch on either side of him. Dean shot me a dirty look, and he turned slightly towards Benny.

“What is it?” The vampire asked. Dean nodded his head to the valley at the bottom of the ridge.

“Leviathans,” Dean said. “Took out a small pack of wolves a few minutes ago.”

I shivered, watching as one of the leviathans picked up a severed limb, inspecting it before tossing it to the side. 

“Shit. That was our path, wasn’t it?” Benny asked. Dean nodded.

“Yeah, and I’m not really in the mood to get into a fight with a bunch of leviathans right now,” he said. 

“I don’t blame you, chief,” Benny agreed. “But what are we going to do now?”

I glanced to the left, eyes roaming the cliff side. It was high above the creatures below, and it fed to another cliff edge on the other side. It would be above our path, but most likely would run parallel alongside it. There seemed to be good footwells along the cliffside, and I struggled to get the courage up to speak.

“I have an idea,” I said. Both men looked over at me, interest on Benny’s face and annoyance on Dean’s.

“The adults are talking,” Dean said. 

“Let her talk, chief,” Benny said, patting his friend on the back. “Go ‘head, cher.”

I swallowed. “The side of the cliff: it’s hidden by the tops of the trees. But-” I pointed to the other edge- “if we are careful enough, we could climb across and get to the other landing. I’m guessing the otherside runs parallel to our original path, it’ll just be higher.”

“Smart,” Benny said, giving me a smile. “Real good.”

“How the hell are you going to climb across the side of a damn cliff?” Dean asked, raising a brow. “You can barely hold up your axe.”

I bit my lip. “I’ll manage. And I can, too, hold up my axe. I’m not weak.”

Suddenly I was being shoved onto my back, my hands being pressed into the dirt as Dean held my wrists. He straddled my waist, his face inches from mine.

“Push me off,” he hissed, eyes furiously burning through my skull. I struggled beneath his hold. I was strong, but Dean was stronger, and no matter how much I bucked and pushed and pulled, he wouldn’t budge. 

He let go of me for a moment, and I shoved at his chest, quickly being held down again with one hand while his other held a knife to my throat. 

“You know, it would be so easy to end you right now,” he growled. My eyes widened in fear. “I wouldn’t have to hear your whiny, sniveling voice anymore and see your pathetically hideous face.” 

I couldn’t stop the tears from pooling in my eyes.

“It would put us all out of our misery.”

“That’s enough, Dean,” Benny said, now on his feet. 

“The bitch needs to be taught a lesson,” Dean said, pressing harder. I whimpered, fear clutching my heart in its grasp as he smirked darkly at me. “Don’t you… bitch?” 

“Get off me, Dean,” I said, bucking beneath him again. He laughed, hand squeezing my wrists tighter. “Stop it.”

In a blink of an eye, he had reared the blade back, bringing it shooting back down until it stabbed into the ground beside my head. I flinched away from it, eyes squeezing shut as he was being pulled off me.

“What the hell is your problem?” Benny asked, pushing Dean against a tree. “What the fuck has she ever done to you?”

“What do you mean? Just look at her,” Dean said.

“Give me a reason, chief,” Benny snarled. “Give me one good reason why you terrorize that poor woman.”

Dean hesitated, his mouth agape as he thought for a moment. I was sitting up, hand on my throat as I watched carefully as he closed his mouth and set his jaw, eyes casting downwards.

“That’s what I thought,” Benny muttered, letting him go. Dean took a deep breath, looking up at me for a moment.

“Fine. We’ll do it your way.” He bent down to pick up his sword, slinging it over his shoulder onto his back before making his way to the cliff side.

Benny helped me to my feet, hands cradling my head as he inspected my neck. There was a small nick from Dean’s blade, but I was relatively unscathed.

“Alright, cher,” Benny began, hands gently resting on my shoulders. “You stick with me, okay? I won’t let Dean touch you again.”

I swallowed thickly, nodding my head as he patted my back. He pulled me in for a quick hug before following after Dean.

***

The next three days had gone by in a blur. We had yet to find Cas, and Dean was getting impatient. It was a constant surge of monsters and a constant physical battle with ourselves as we pushed through the fights, trying to swallow back our bile at the blood and guts that inevitably found itself onto our clothes.

I was washing up in the river, a little way through the trees from a camp we had set up for the night. I had carefully peeled off my bloodstained clothes, washing my body as best I could with the river’s water before attempting to clean my jeans and shirt. I scrubbed at them until the blood was simply an ugly stain, tossing the garments onto a nearby rock to dry. I was midway running water over my hair when suddenly arms were lifting me up, eliciting a squeal from my lips. A hand clamped over my mouth and I was dragged back behind the rocks. I struggled in the arms of my captor, rearing my head back and bashing it into their nose. They grunted, and they let go.

I spun around, fists raised, eyes widening.

“Dean? What the hell?” I asked, covering my stomach. My chest was still covered by my bra, and the water was deep enough to cover the bottom half of me, but I felt naked under Dean’s intense gaze. I glance around, spotting my clothes on the boulder. I grabbed at them, pulling the shirt over my head before my jeans were ripped away from me and thrown to the side. “Hey!”

His lips crashed against mine in a bruising force, hand tangling in my hair as he snaked an arm around my waist, crushing my body against his. My hands flew to his chest and I tried to push him away, confusion and fear coursing through my veins as he wouldn’t let go.

I bit down on his lip, and he reared back with a small yelp, touching where blood began to seep from the bite. I pulled my shirt on as he was distracted and backed away from him, arms curling around my torso.

“What the fuck was that?” He asked, wiping away the blood. I stared at him, mouth dropping.

“What the fuck was that?” I yelled. He raised a brow. “You don’t just come onto a girl like that! Especially after treating her like you treat me!”

“I… huh?”

“Are you seriously playing dumb right now?” I asked, brows drawing together. “You can’t be that fucking idiotic.”

“Look, I’m sorry, okay? For everything. But here’s the thing,” he said, moving closer to me. I moved back until I was pressed against the rock. “We’ve been here for almost a year, right? Neither of us have gotten any within that time. You just looked hot down here in the water, and I see the way you look at me sometimes so I just thought, ‘hey, why not?’” 

How long had I dreamed a moment like this would happen? Too many times. More than I’d care to admit. But did I really want to be with Dean for the first time like this? With him hating my guts, simply wanting a quick fuck in Purgatory pf all places? Fuck no.

I scoffed, shaking my head. “You’re shitting me.”

“No.”

I ran a hand through my damp hair. “I… I can’t believe a word that’s coming out of your mouth right now. You think I’m hideous! You’ve said so multiple times, so you’re full of shit! And just so you know, you don’t just jump onto a girl and assume she wants the same thing you do. Besides, who wouldn’t be attracted to you, for fuck’s sake? It doesn’t mean I want to fuck you! God, Dean! You hate me!”

“I don’t hate you…”

“Yes, you do! You’ve bullied me like a damn middle schooler since the moment you met me!”

He sighed, jaw clenching. “Fine. You know what? Forget it.” He moved past me, stopping for a second. “And all have you know, it’s not that I hate you. It’s just that I can’t stand to be around you for more than ten minutes without wanting to put a gun in my mouth. And you’re right, I do think you’re hideous, and my god does your personality make you fucking ugly inside and out. If you don’t want work done on your face, at least work on that. Maybe then you could find someone willing to put up with you.”

He left then, leaving me speechless. I collapsed against the rock, silent sobs racking my body. I hated myself, and Dean thrived on that fact. I had no idea what I had ever done to him, nor did I understand how someone could be so cruel. But there was one thing I did know for sure; Dean Winchester was absolutely hell bent on breaking me.

***

I combed my hair out with my fingers, eyes staring out over the water. 

It was nearly a week after my confrontation with Dean, and he had gone back to ignoring me. I was okay with it, not minding the silence after the cruel words. I always relied on my friendship with Benny to get me through, but it seemed as though he was pulling away from me, too.

I sighed, my hands finding themselves on the dirt beneath me. They were filthy, no matter how many times I scrubbed at them with moss and water, the blood and mud wouldn’t rid itself from my skin.

Suddenly, something went soaring through the air in front of my face, a blade lodging itself in the tree beside me. I fell back, flattening myself on the ground as I looked to the side, seeing Dean standing twenty feet from me, a dark smirk on his face, Benny shaking his head behind him.

“What the hell, Dean!” I shouted, scrambling to my feet. “You could’ve killed me!”

“But I didn’t,” he said, walking towards me. He reached past me, eyes locked on mine as he retrieved the knife from the bark. “Don’t be so dramatic.”

“Don’t be so… are you fucking with me?” I asked, watching as he turned around and shrugged off his jacket. 

“Just drop it, cher,” Benny said, rolling his eyes. I set my jaw and turned away, swallowing back the anger brewing inside my chest. I folded my arms over each other, biting down on my tongue until I drew blood. “I’m going to scout the area. See if I can’t find a better place to set up camp.”

I inwardly groaned at the thought of being alone with Dean, and watched from the corner of my eye as Benny made his way through the trees, Dean leaning against one to stare at me. He was twirling his blade around in his fingers, his smirk not fading from his face. I shifted uncomfortably.

“So, I’ve been thinking,” Dean began.

“Don’t hurt yourself,” I muttered. He stopped twirling the knife, smirk fading to replace his expression with a stoic, hard one. 

“I’ll give you one more chance at this, Y/N,” he said. He walked toward me slowly, and I backed away a bit. 

“At what?” I asked, now pressed against a tree. Dean didn’t stop moving until he could press his palm against the tree, leaning into it as he bent down until he was eye level with me.

“I think you know.” His eyes flickered down to my lips, his tongue running out to wet his own. I shivered as he lowered his face to the side of my head, nose pressing into my hair to take a deep breath in. 

“Dean, please, I don’t-”

“You know, I bet you’re still a virgin,” he interrupted, ignoring my words. I tried pushing against his chest but he took my hands in his, bringing them behind my back and crushing me further into the tree. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you with anyone. Although, I’m not surprised.”

“Dean, stop it,” I said harshly, but once again my words went unheard, and he nipped my collarbone.

“Fuck, a virgin pussy sounds so good right now.”

“I said stop, Dean!” I cried, pushing harder against him. He retaliated, quickly holding both of my hands in one of his in order to press against my throat with the other.

“I don’t give a fuck about what you said,” he hissed. “The only reason you’re alive is because of me. Face it, you wouldn’t have made it on your own, and the only reason that I haven’t killed you myself yet is because Sam would kill me when we get back.” He crushed his lips to mine, all teeth and rough pressure as he shoved his tongue into my mouth. He rolled his hips against me, and my stomach churned. “I haven’t had any in a long time, Y/N. I need to let off some steam, and you owe me.” He pulled back to look into my teary eyes. “Answer me this… are you a virgin?”

I clenched my jaw. “Let go of me.”

He growled and slapped me, a yelp escaping my lips as he gripped my chin, bashing my head back against the bark. “I will find out one way or another, I’m just curious.”

I swallowed, teeth sinking into my tongue. I’ve had two boyfriends in the past, if I could even call them that. I had only gone on a few dates with both of them, but never went further than second base. I was twenty-four and never worried about still being a virgin. 

Until now.

I didn’t want my first time being like this; raped in purgatory by the man who hates me, and who I was utterly afraid of; raped by a man I had unwillingly fallen in love with.

I gave a short nod, and he smiled darkly. “Not surprising, but definitely exciting.” 

“Dean, please don’t do this,” I said, struggling against his hold. “Please.”

“Benny will be back soon, so we need to make this quick,” he said. And suddenly, his hand was off my throat and on the button of my jeans. 

“No!” I snarled, trying to kick at him, but he wedged his knee between my legs, and I was completely trapped. 

His hand was inside my pants and down the front of my panties without hesitation, and I cringed at the thought of the dirt and blood that coated both of our skin. His fingers ran through my folds, thumb finding my clit quickly. I squeezed my eyes shut as nausea washed over me, and my body went rigid at the alien feeling of someone else’s hands down there. A tear trickled down my cheek, and Dean bent forward to lick it up.

“Come on, baby,” he cooed mockingly. “Just go with it. There’s nothing you can do to stop it anyway.”

I reared back as far as I could to spit in his face. He flinched back in surprise, his face morphing from cocky and dark to menacing, and I was thrown to the ground roughly within a second, Dean quickly hovering over me and holding me down before I could move away.

“I was trying to make this better for you, I truly was,” he said, beginning to undo his belt. I shuddered and squirmed beneath him. “But now, you’ve just pissed me off. So I don’t give a fuck if you’re ready or not.”

He shoved his jeans down far enough to free his cock from his boxers, moving back to tear at my own jeans and panties and drag them down my legs. I flipped around and began crawling away, but he gripped my ankle and turned me around onto my back.

“I want to see you,” he grunted, hands spreading my legs enough for him to fit between them. I looked down at his prick, eyes widening as I saw the size of him, and he laughed. “You’re in for it now, sweetheart.”

He stroked himself a few times before lining up with my entrance. I didn’t stop struggling, hands trying to claw at his face, my eyes blurring from my tears. He gripped both of my wrists in one of his hands while the other held himself until the tip was resting against me, and then he moved his hand to grip my waist harshly. 

He forced himself inside me in one painful thrust, and a scream of pain was ripped from my throat. Dean smirked, relishing in the fact he had just torn through my virginity with such cruelty and violence. He groaned as he began to move. My hands slumped against him, knowing it was no use. He was much stronger than me, and he had already gotten what he wanted.

“I knew you’d like this,” he hissed in my ear, pulling out just to snap back in. “A bitch born to take a cock. My cock.”

The last shred of my innocence was taken within a second, and each time he shoved himself inside me, it took everything in me not to burst into tears. I turned my face away from him, eyes squeezed as tight as I could in order to try and disassociate myself, praying that this was simply but a dream. 

But as he hiked up my leg around his waist to angle himself deeper inside me, I knew it wasn’t a dream, but a nightmare, one born to tear down my walls and shatter the last of my will. I knew Dean Winchester was intent on breaking me, but I didn’t know he’d take it to such extremes.

“Shit,” he cursed, plunging himself deeper and deeper with each thrust until he couldn’t go any further. I bit my lip to keep in my cries of pain, nails sinking into the palms of my hand.

His hips began to stutter, his movements choppy and I knew he was close. I dug my nails in deeper until I felt blood trickle from my fingers. His hand gripped my jaw, turning my head.

“Look at me,” he growled, holding himself to the hilt inside me until I complied. He smirked at the tears that trickled from my eyes, and slammed himself home once, twice, three more times before he came. He held his hips flush to my pelvis, eyes still locked with mine as he spilled himself inside me. 

He gave a few more lazy humps, making sure he didn’t waste a single drop of his come before slipping out, sitting back on his haunches and taking a deep breath. “Wow.”

I sniffled, scooting as far away as possible as I pulled up my panties and jeans with shaky hands, trying to hold back the sobs and failing. I brought my hand up to my mouth, biting my sleeve to stifle the cries threatening to echo off the trees, and brought my knees up to my chest.

“Shit, sweetheart,” Dean said smiling. He laughed, shaking his head. “You felt better than I thought.” He sighed, standing up then and looked down at me. “Benny will be back soon. So pull yourself together before then. Say one word to him about this, I’ll kill you.”

I nodded in understanding, and he grunted.

He grabbed his axe and turned away, trudging off into the woods for his usual search for firewood.

In the five minutes he was gone, I took the time to pack up the few belongings I had, and without turning back, I ran for the hills.

Two Years Later

The nightmares never faded.

They had become less frequent, yet every few days or so, I’d run from the images inside my own head, battling demons within me instead of on the battlefield. Being scared of someone or something is one thing, but being scared of your own mind, your own dreams, was an entirely different thing, and it took strength to lay down and risk the possibility of reliving old trauma.

Yet, it was inevitable, after everything that had happened. Therapy helped, so did the anti-depressants and anxiety pills I took each night. But the truth of the matter was, the memories of Purgatory were always there, and the guilt and shame never faded, it simply turned into a dull ache that never truly went away.

Running from Dean, I was sore and bleeding, and all I cared about was keeping as much distance between him and I as possible. I listened to the whispers of the monsters, making sure I was never too close. 

Dean got out before I did, just two months after I ran, and it was only a few days later that I found the portal. I didn’t even try to contact Sam, because where Sam went, Dean went. 

Instead, I changed my name and set up a life for myself in a small town up in the mountains of West Virginia. I got a job at a police station as a victim advocate, got an apartment, and never once looked back. 

Quitting hunting wasn’t easy, and every once in a while I’d take a case close to home. But I typically stayed within the state, not wanting to risk running into the brothers on a hunt. 

Over those two years, I slowly began to rebuild my walls. However, in a split second, it all came crumbling down again.

It was a Monday afternoon in October. A cool front had washed over the Virginias and Maryland, finally carrying a crisp, sweet wind to cool our skin from the sweltering heat of the summer.

I was walking back to the station from lunch, having ran to a sandwich shop a block away. I was chewing on my lip and thinking about a particular case when I saw it; the sleek black coat of the Impala.

I felt my stomach drop, and I felt like I would be sick. Surely it couldn’t be the brothers. Other people had this particular car, too. But my fears were confirmed when the door to the station opened, and Sam walked out into the wind, leaves scattering around his feet, Dean right behind him. 

I was frozen with fear. All the progress I had made had diminished in a second. I wanted to turn and run the other way. I wanted to duck into the alley and wait until they were gone. But I couldn’t move. My limbs were suddenly planted and my body lost the ability to move as the man who had made my life hell for years and haunted my dreams stepped into the sun. 

Sam looked around as Dean led the way to the Impala. There was nothing I could do as his eyes landed on me, the surprised look on his face making me wince, the fearful one on mine catching him off guard.

“Y/N?” He asked. I saw Dean stiffen at the sound of my name, and I suddenly regained the ability to move. I spun on my heel and rushed into the alley, hoping to make it around to the back of the station and slip inside unseen. But Sam’s long legs made it so he was faster than me, and no amount of sprinting could keep me far enough away. He stepped in front of me, and my eyes widened. “Y/N… I… You’re alive.”

I swallowed thickly, looking over my shoulder. I tensed as I saw Dean at the end of the alley, his face hard and jaw clenched as he met my eyes. I looked back at Sam, shaking my head and stepping around him.

“I have to get back to work,” I said, trying to push past him.

“Wait!” He said, gripping my arm. I flinched, and he let go immediately.

“Sam,” I said, looking up at him. He tilted his head in confusion at the look of defeat on my face. “Please.”

“I don’t understand,” he muttered. “Dean said you were dead. That you died when you were in Purgatory.”

“A part of me did,” I admitted. Sam’s face darkened at my words, and I looked away. “And if you love me, you’d stay away from me. For good.”

“I thought I lost my best friend, Y/N,” Sam said. “I can’t just let you go now, knowing you’re alive.”

“Sam, please,” I begged. “Please.”

“Why?” He demanded.

“Just let her be, Sam.”

My breath hitched in my throat, and I looked back over towards Sam. Dean had caught up to us and was standing beside his brother now, a dark look on his face. His stare was icy, and it sent shivers down my spine. I shivered when he licked his lips, eyes raking up and down my body and suddenly I was back in Purgatory, his predatory gaze sending me reeling to a time of pain and misery.

“Y/N!” 

I jumped, realizing Sam had been trying to get my attention for some time now. I looked up at him, worrying my lip, tears filling my eyes. “Sam, I can’t do this.”

“Can’t do what? Why did Dean lie? What the hell happened in Purgatory?” He asked.

“Dean didn’t…” I trailed off, rolling my eyes with a scoff. “No, I guess he wouldn’t tell you what happened.”

“Y/N,” Dean warned, stare turning deadly.

“Shut up, Dean,” Sam snapped. “Y/N, you can tell me anything.”

“No, I can’t,” I said, shaking my head. “Your brother will kill me.”

“No, he won’t. I won’t let him,” Sam said. “Now please, I miss my best friend. Let me help you.”

“You can’t help me,” I said. “Not anymore. Purgatory was shitty in itself, but Dean…”

I was suddenly pushed up against the brick wall, a yelp escaping me as Dean’s hand wrapped around my throat, his body pressed against mine. I shivered in fear, visibly shaking as his lips curled into a snarl.

“Dean!” Sam exclaimed, trying to pry his brother off me.

“What did I tell you would happen if you told anyone?” Dean hissed. I beat at his hands, trying to kick out at him. 

“Dean…”

“I’ll kill ‘ya,” he said. “I’ll do it right now. Don’t. Say. A. Word.”

Tears trickled down my cheeks, and Sam was able to tear Dean off me, pushing him up against the opposite wall.

“What the fuck?” He yelled. He pushed off his brother, turning towards me, placing his hands gently on my shoulders. His voice softened then. “Are you okay?”

“I really need to… to get back to work,” I whispered. I was still shaking, and Sam’s fingers tightened slightly, almost as if he was trying to steady me.

“Can I come see you after work? I’ll meet you here and walk you home?” 

I glanced over Sam’s shoulder towards Dean. His jaw was set, and he gave a shake of his head.

“I don’t think that’s such a good idea,” I murmured. I watched a smirk grow on Dean’s face, and I shivered.

“I’m sorry. But I don’t care. I’ll meet you here, okay? At five?”

I nodded.

“Okay. See you then.” He turned slightly. “He won’t be coming, don’t worry.”

The brothers stared at each other intently, and I scurried off as quick as I could, clutching the brown bag in my hand to my chest, not trusting my hands not to shake.

It was my luck that they would end up here, out of all the towns and all the cases in the continental U.S., they had to end up here. There was one thing I was sure about; I wouldn’t be meeting Sam, nor would I be going back to work. I forgot all about my few belongings in the office, beelining to my car, readying myself to pack and be out of town by tonight.

***

I didn’t have much in terms of belongings. It didn’t take long to pack, and I had no set destination. If I had a set destination, I could be found. 

I was taping up the few boxes I had, picking up a few odds and ends, figuring I would leave the furniture and have the building owner sell it. Just as I was finishing, three sound knocks were rapped on my door.

I froze. 

I wasn’t expecting anyone, and I hadn’t made any friends since moving to town. No one would be coming here unannounced. No one except the Winchesters. They had their ways of finding where I lived. Sam probably asked around the station.

“Fucking Sam,” I muttered to myself. I pushed myself up off the floor, stalking to my front door. “So not cool.”

I unlocked the door, keeping the deadbolt in, before opening it.

My heart jumped to my throat.

“Dean?” I asked. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“You didn’t show up to your meet-up with Sammy,” he said. He glanced around my door, stuffing his hands in his pockets, nodding. “Simple and plain. It suits you.”

“Go away, Dean,” I said. “I have cop friends and I’m not afraid to call them. Just go.”

Dean laughed. “Please. We both know you’re not friends with any of them. Besides, what would you tell them? You know what will happen if you say anything.”

“Fuck off, Dean,” I hissed. I went to close the door, but Dean was quick to stick his foot out, wedging it between the door and the frame.

“Nuh uh uh,” he tsked. “Won’t you invite me in, little pig?”

I swallowed. “No.”

“Oh, but why?” He asked, smirking. “You scared?”

I lifted my chin, standing up straighter. “No.”

He chuckled darkly, bending slightly to meet my eye level. “I think we both know that’s a lie, little pig.”

“Get the fuck away from me, Dean,” I hissed. I kicked at his foot sharply, unwedging it, promptly slamming my door shut in the process, turning the lock. I backed away from the door, feeling under the small table near the front door for my gun.

I screamed as my door was kicked in, wood splintering off the frame. Dean laughed, stepping past the threshold, kicking the door closed behind him. It didn’t quite close all the way, but enough so Dean could slip the chain into its lock.

“Here’s Johnny,” he teased, smiling. My eyes widened, and I gripped the gun, ripping it from its confinement, lifting my arm to shoot. Dean moved quickly, knocking the gun from my hand, pushing me back against the wall. He thrusted forward, crashing his lips to mine in a sloppy kiss.

“Miss me?”

“Get away from me!” I screeched. “Help! Somebody please help me!”

I sobbed as he fisted his hand in my hair, bashing my head back against the wall.

“You fucking bitch,” he hissed. “Almost telling Sammy about our little roll around. What did I tell you, hmm? Have you told anyone else?”

My eyes were blurred from the tears. Somehow my nightmares were coming true. Somehow hell had shown up at my front door, rearing its ugly head and laughing as fear twisted my insides and made my head spin. What had I done to deserve this?

“No,” I said. “I haven’t told anyone. I won’t tell anyone. Please just leave me alone.”

He ran a hand down my face, thumb smearing my tears across my skin. “Oh, but I can’t do that. You disobeyed me. You made Sam skeptical. You must be punished.”

“No,” I cried. “Please, Dean. Please don’t do this.”

He gripped my hair tighter, jerking me down the hall, my fists beating against him the whole time, fighting, kicking, screaming. He simply bent down, picking me up, and carried me into my room. He threw me onto my bed, hands gripping my thighs as he flipped me over onto my stomach.

“Now, bad girls must be punished,” he said. He reached underneath me, fingers unbuttoning my jeans. I kicked back at him, my heel meeting the fleshy part of his thigh. He grunted, and I clawed away from him, but he simply pulled me back down. “Well, that just made things so much worse for you.”

He yanked my jeans down, throwing them somewhere in the room, hands tearing at my simple cotton panties. Tears blurred my vision, and I desperately tried to crawl away. I fisted my hands on the mattress, trying to somehow escape from his hold. 

I cried out as his palm collided with my ass.

“Tell me, have you been with anyone else since me?” He asked. I sobbed, screeching behind clenched teeth as he hit me again. “Answer me, bitch.”

“No,” I said. He laughed. I hadn’t heard him take off his belt, but I heard the snap as he pulled it taut. “No, no, no.”

“Oh, yes,” he laughed. He brought the belt down, letting it smack against my bare skin. The sting radiated through my back. Dean was strong, and each time his arm was brought down, the belt would send another striking shot of fire through my body. I was frozen with pain and fear. Dean didn’t have to hold me down after a while. I couldn’t move. “This is for your own good, Y/n.”

I didn’t know how long he struck me. Over, and over, and over he striked, and I lost count after twenty. My hands were clenched in the mattress cover, tears soaking the fabric beneath me, clouding my vision.

I finally heard him throw the belt aside, and his hands curled around my hips, lifting my bottom into the air gently. He softly caressed my skin, and I jumped when I felt his lips touch the welts. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. He rubbed my lower back slowly. “I’m so sorry.”

I sunk my teeth into my lower lip. I froze, not sure what I was supposed to do. I knew moving was out of the question. I was in too much pain to move. Confusion sunk into my bones as he slowly kissed up my back, until he was hovering over me.

He turned me slowly, gently placing me on my back, eyes looking down at me. He tilted his head, thumb wiping away my tears. “Hey, I’m sorry. Please don’t cry.”

“Don’t cry?” I whispered. “How do you expect me to be okay with all of this, Dean? You broke me in Purgatory. You’ve haunted my dreams for the past two years. Then you do this? Just kill me and get it over with. Please.”

He shook his head, furrowing his brows. “I’m not here to kill you. I actually, believe it or not, came to apologize. But as soon as you opened the door I just… I don’t know what came over me.”

“Like I believe that,” I hissed. “Just get the fuck out.”

His jaw ticked, and suddenly his resolve faded. For a second I saw remorse, and now? Fire raged behind his leaf green eyes. I felt his whole body tense against me. I felt him… grow… beneath me.

“Fuck no,” I said. A rush of adrenaline coursed through me. I rolled away from him, landing on my back on the wood floor. I cried out as my raw skin made impact, but I pushed myself up quickly. Dean was up now, his eyes hard and piercing. 

“Come here, little pig,” he snarled. I spun and dashed towards the bathroom. He leaped over the bed after me, but I was already inside, locking the door quickly. I heard shuffling, and I knew I needed to think fast. I spotted the window and yanked my robe off the hook, slipping it on. I stepped onto the toilet, pushed the window open, and peered down the three flights my apartment was up. I swallowed thickly, glancing back at the bathroom door. The doorknob was jiggling, and I knew he was picking the lock. Mustering up the courage, I hoisted myself up and swung my legs over. The door suddenly burst open, our eyes locking.

“Don’t you dare,” he said. I took a deep breath and looked down again. Just as he lunged forward, I let go, feeling the rush of air and my heart plummet to my stomach. My eyes were wide as I watched the ground rush up on me all too quickly. I tried ducking my shoulder to attempt to roll, hopefully saving my legs and head in the process, but I couldn’t quite get there. I felt something snap as I hit the ground, a sickening crunch sounding in my ears as I landed on my side. 

“Y/n!”

That voice was different. That voice was angelic... kind. Sam.

“Oh my god,” he said. He bent down, hands cradling my face as he looked into my eyes. “Hey, stay with me. Are you alright? Jesus- of course you’re not alright, you jumped from a fucking window to get away from my brother. God, Y/n I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”

“Why does he hate me so?” I whimpered before everything went dark.

***

“Should she be asleep this long?”

“Her body is healing. It’s up to her now.”

***

“Get the fuck out.”

“Sam… I don’t know what happened.”

“Don’t you dare say that. Don’t come up with these-these lame ass excuses. I saw what you did, and I have an idea about purgatory. Now, for the last time, get the fuck out.”

***

“She will stay with me.”

“And you are?”

“Her brother.”

***

I jolted awake. My body was on fire, my head pounding with a dull ache. I opened my eyes slowly, adjusting to the bright light above my head. A beeping sound came from my right, and a quick glance showed an EKG meter. A fucking hospital.

My shoulder was bandaged and arm in a sling. My knee had a brace on it. My behind felt raw as shit.

“Fuck,” I muttered as I tried to sit up.

“Y/n! Thank God.”

I jumped at the sound of a voice. 

“Sam.”

“God, Y/n… I’m so sorry. So, so, so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” I told him.

“No, but I should have known. I should have done something. God, I can’t believe it.”

I sighed, fiddling with a loose thread on the scratchy blanket that was laid over me. I furrowed my brows.

“Sam… did Dean tell you what happened in purgatory?”

Sam swallowed thickly. “No. But I can guess.”

I nodded slowly. “He told me he’d kill me if I ever told anyone.”

“Have you?” Sam asked.

“My therapist,” I replied.

“A therapist?”

“Yeah. I needed one,” I said. “I was… broken when I got out. I was getting so much better, Sam. I felt like me again. Sure, I still had the nightmares sometimes but… I wasn’t always looking over my shoulder.” My lip wobbled as I fought back tears. “Damn him.”

“God, Y/n/n. I can’t believe it. It just seems so… not Dean,” he said. “I’m so sorry.”

“Sam, I know you mean well, but please stop saying sorry,” I said. He smiled and blushed.

“Sorry.” He cringed. I laughed.

“Stop it,” I told him, pushing his shoulder lightly. He laughed too, grabbing my hand. He kissed my knuckles.

“I’ve missed you,” he said. 

“I’ve missed you, too,” I told him. “But I knew that where you went, Dean went.”

“I understand,” he said.

“Oh good, you’re awake!”

Sam and I both looked at the door, a plump woman in a white lab coat standing in the doorway. Her dark hair was piled high on her head, glasses pristinely balanced on her nose, lips lined with deep red lipstick. She looked like a T.V. doctor, not a doctor in middle-of-nowhere West Virginia.

“How are you feeling?” She asked. She checked my vitals and IV bag.

“Sore,” I replied.

“Your brother here has offered to take you home,” she said. I looked pointedly at Sam who shrugged sheepishly. “Look here.”

She shined a light into my eyes, checked my bandages, and determined that I could go home as long as I was supervised for 48 hours. I silently wondered where Dean was, hoping I wasn’t going to see him. If Sam was taking me home, who knows what would happen? Dean knew where I lived. But if Sam was there, perhaps he wouldn’t be stupid enough to try anything.

***

“Are you alright?”

Sam gently placed me onto the motel bed, careful not to hurt me. His brows were furrowed in worry and his lips were pursed into a frown. I let out a shaky laugh.

“No,” I said. “But I’ll get there.”

“Y/n, I’m so-”

“Stop it!” I scolded. “What did I say?”

“Not to apologize anymore?” He said slowly.

“That’s correct,” I said. I laid back onto the pillows, which were worn, but on my sore shoulder and back, they honestly didn’t feel too bad. “Now, mama needs to rest.”

Sam snorted. “Okay… mama.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “Don’t mock me, Samuel.” He raised his hands in defense.

“Okay, okay. Sorry, mama,” he said. “I’ll call Cas. He can heal you.”

I perked up at Castiel’s name. The gentle angel and I had been good friends. I heard whispers about him too, while in purgatory that is. I shivered at the thought of that place and…

No. I wouldn’t think about that now. I was safe with Sam. Surely Dean couldn’t find us here. Right? Sam would have taken measures to keep him from doing so.

“Hey, Cas. It’s Sam. Listen…”

Sam’s voice trailed off as he stepped outside the room, closing the door softly behind him. Suddenly, the room turned eerie. The air conditioner hummed loudly under the window, producing some sound in the empty room. It was confining. I shifted on the bed, wincing as my shoulder moved in an odd way. I adjusted my sling to a more comfortable position. I hated these things.

I sighed deeply, glancing towards the door again. I blew a piece of hair out of my eyes. Alone. It wasn’t an odd sensation to me. I had been alone for the last two years. But I had slipped so easily back into the comfortable familiarity that was once me and Sam. I had missed him so much. He was my best friend, my confidant. Being around him again was liberating. It lifted a weight off my shoulders.

Telling someone what had happened in purgatory, besides a therapist, lifted a weight off my shoulders.

Of course, Dean would kill me if he knew. But it felt good to get it out, not have it bottled up. Dr. Ramirez was great, of course. But she wasn’t Sam. Wasn’t a friend. 

However, now that the room was empty apart from me, the only sounds of the air unit and the springs of the old bed creaking, I was left alone with my thoughts. Vivid images of Dean flashed before my eyes. Of purgatory, across the street at work, the alley, my apartment. Damn him. Damn him for abusing me so. Damn him for not caring. Damn him for giving me a false sense of hope when he spared a silver of remorse. And damn me for loving him.

Did I still? No, I didn’t think so. Not the Dean who hates me. Who hurt me and raped me and tormented me. Not that Dean. Perhaps the Dean who loved his little brother beyond comprehension. The Dean who would throw himself in the line of fire for a stranger. The Dean who sacrificed everything for the world, the world that was so cruel to him. 

Fuck. Of course I still loved that Dean. It was like two separate fucking people. A Dean who would light up at the sight of pie and tell you everything about a band he liked simply because he wanted to share something he loved with you. A Dean who was so selfless, you would need to make sure he wouldn’t go off and get himself killed for absolutely no reason but to save a fucking dog. He would have one look on his face, and then turn to me. That look would turn cold. Those eyes, those beautiful eyes, would turn to ice in a split second. That voice that dripped of rum and sticky honey tore through my heart like daggers in ice. How could someone be so cruel? 

A sob escaped my lips. I was so tired of crying. I hated crying. I wiped my nose with the back of my hand from my good arm. I didn’t want to cry anymore. I didn’t want to think anymore. 

Luckily, Sam opened the door then. It made me jump slightly. Castiel was behind him. I grinned.

“Cas.”

“Y/n,” he said warmly. He walked over to the bedside. He rested a hand on my good shoulder. Cas wasn’t one for touchy-feely shit. But with me, he was always more comfortable with it.

“I’m going to heal you,” he said matter-of-factly. I gave him a nod, a light shining from his hand. A warmth filled me, starting from my head and reaching to the tips of my toes, and suddenly I felt better. I gave him a grin, which faltered at the look on his face. 

“Cas?” I asked. “What is it?”

He gave a small shake of his head. “It’s… it’s a curse.”

“What is?” Sam questioned. He stood up from his seat at the small table by the window. I glanced at him.

“You have had a curse placed on you. An old one. I’ve seen it before, though. In heaven,” Castiel said. “I’m not sure why I hadn’t seen it before now. Perhaps since I hadn’t had to heal you before.”

“A curse in heaven?” I asked.

“It was designed by the archangels. It was to keep soulmates apart.”

“What?” Sam said. “Soulmates? Surely you’re joking.”

“No, I’m not joking,” Cas said. “And don’t call me Shirley.”

Sam furrowed his brows at that. I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing.

“Okay, so a curse. What kind of curse?” I asked. “Who’s my soulmate?”

“The curse is complicated. It can only be placed on one soulmate, and the cursed mate would need to be an interference with a plan from heaven or God himself. ”

“What sort of interference?” Sam asked. Cas hummed.

“Y/n must have stood in the way of her soulmate’s destiny. Her path must cross with them, meaning that she would have altered the path chosen for her mate by heaven. The curse makes it so one of the soulmates hates the other for no particular reason. They can be downright evil towards them. Y/n’s soulmate, if she ever comes across them, may even want to kill her. The curse causes one of the soulmates to do terrible things to the other. They can act one way, and their soulmate walks into the room, suddenly they are filled with an unexplainable rage. There are times where the soulmate can feel remorse or even come to love the one who was cursed. However, the second they lie eyes on the cursed soulmate, their hatred returns.”

Holy fuck.

“If you don’t mind, Y/n,” Cas continued. “Would you mind letting me touch your soul? It should tell me who your soulmate is. I know every path for every human soul. I should be able to see.”

“I… I think I may know who it is,” I said softly. Suddenly my blood ran cold. It felt as if the temperature in the room dropped twenty degrees in a single second. Soulmate may want to kill me. They will hate me. Do terrible things to me. They are suddenly remorseful, but once again turn evil once they lie eyes on me. Fucking hell.

“Who?” Castiel asked. I looked to Sam, who was staring at the ground. I saw it dawn on him, saw the realization flash across his face. His head snapped up to mine.

“Dean.”

***

“Are you fucking joking?”

I flinched at his words. Dean stared- no, glared- at me from his chair. He was chained to a chair in the dungeon. “Precaution” Sam had said. Dean wasn’t too happy with it. I sat in a chair about six feet from him, right outside the devil’s trap. His lip curled into a snarl.

“I’ll fucking kill myself if this bitch is my so called soulmate.”

“I’ve already touched her soul, Dean,” Castiel said. “Just to be sure.”

“Okay? And?” Dean prompted.

“Not only is she cursed, but she’s your soulmate.”

“Fucking hell,” he groaned.

“The archangels placed the curse on her at birth. When they found out she was to be your soulmate, they cursed her in order to keep her from interfering with their plan to have you as Michael’s vessel. If she wasn’t cursed, they foresaw the two of you already together; married and two children.”

My heart ached. I could have had that? Instead, my soulmate had abused, raped, and threatened to kill me on multiple occasions. Great.

“Gag,” Dean said. He spit at the ground towards me. “You told them. You know what would happen if you did. You’re fucking dead.”

“Sam,” I said quietly. I looked up at him. He gently placed a hand at the back of my head in a comforting gesture.

“It’s alright,” he said.

“Now, there is a way to remove the curse. It is painful, and tedious, but it may allow you two to venture forth into a soulmate’s relationship.”

“Fuck that.”

“I can’t.”

Although said at the same time, all eyes turned to me.

“What do you mean you can’t?” Cas asked. Sam sighed.

“Cas, not now.”

“I mean I can’t be with someone who-who was so cruel to me. You don’t know the specifics of purgatory,” I muttered. I squeezed my eyes shut at the thought. My lip threatened to wobble. I sunk my teeth into it. “When this is done, I don’t know if I can be here anymore.”

“Y/n,” Sam said. “When this curse is lifted, the Dean who did those things to you will not exist.”

“It’s true,” Cas said. “The curse alters your soulmate in a way that they’re unrecognizable. It turns their personality completely sour, turning them into a new person. The Dean that will be shown to you when this is over will be the real Dean, the Dean you saw when you weren’t near him. When you’re cursed, it’s like he’s possessed by an alien body.”

“But it’s still his face. His hands. His… everything.” I shuddered. 

“That was fun, wasn’t sweetheart?” Dean said. “I still remember how you felt. Tight virgin… Mmmm. Once I’m free of these chains, I may take you again. Maybe I’ll claim your ass this time.

“Enough, Dean!” Sam barked loudly. “Cas.”

“You ready, Y/n?” Castiel asked. I looked up at him, to Dean, and back again.

“Yeah, just one thing first-” I looked at Dean, right in the eye- “Go to hell you son of a bitch.”

Then Castiel’s hands were on the sides of my head, a blinding pain searing behind my eyes, and all I saw was black.

***

“Sam, how am I supposed to live with it?”

“You just do. It wasn’t you. It was the fucking archangels. They did this to her. Not you.”

“It was still… me. I just couldn’t stop it. God, I can’t believe I…”

“Hey. Stop it. I mean it, okay? You beating yourself up with it will not help you in the end. When she wakes up, she’s going to need us. Okay? She’s going to have to re-learn trust and-and love and learn to trust you.”

“If she wants to leave, we need to let her leave. I don’t blame her if she hates me. You heard what she said, Sam. She said she can’t. And I get it. I understand. I don’t want to put her through anymore pain, okay? She needs to live without fear and without pain and suffering. She’s a good, beautiful person inside and out. She didn’t deserve anything I did to her.”

“It wasn’t you!”

“It was, dammit! It was my hands, my body, my fucking words. God, Sam. We may have been cursed, but it was still me. Okay?”

“You heard Cas. It’s like you were possessed. It wasn’t you. Fucking get it through your thick skull.”

“Tell that to her then. If she believes it, I will. This is about her. Not me.”

I could register their conversation. Feel the dull ache in my head. Smell the faint smell of the lavender incense I used to like to burn. The issue was getting my eyes to open.

With heavy lids, I opened my eyes slowly, struggling to keep them open. The brothers stopped talking and I could feel them staring at me. I groaned as I sat up, rubbing at my temple.

“Hey, sleeping beauty,” Sam said slowly. “You feeling okay?”

“If you consider feeling like you’ve been hit by a train ‘okay,’” I said. “Fuck.”

I looked up at them both, Sam’s eyes warm and lips curled into a sympathetic smile. I forced myself to look at Dean. His eyes were focused intently on his hands, but I could see his jaw clenched and chest moving quickly as he took rapid breaths. His leg bounced repeatedly. He was nervous?.

He looked up at me finally, taking a deep breath, holding it a moment, before letting it back out. “Hi.”

“Hi,” I replied lowly. 

“Should I leave you two alone?” Sam asked.

“No,” I said quickly. Dean winced, but I ignored it. Like hell I would be left alone with him. “Cas did it? The curse is gone?”

Sam nodded. “Yeah, yeah it’s gone. Dean um… Dean’s fixed, I guess you could say.”

“Is he?” I asked bitterly. 

“Y/n,” he said hesitantly. “I don’t have words. I can’t express how sorry I am.” I looked down at my hands. “There aren’t words to describe the guilt I have. I don’t know what to say or do. I’m just so, so sorry.”

I took a deep breath before responding. “At least I know why I loved you for so long.”

That clearly was not what he was expecting to hear. “W-what?”

“Before purgatory, when things didn’t… escalate… I loved you. I loved the you that wasn’t around me. I thought I was fucked up, loving someone who was so cruel to me. But now I know I couldn’t help it. You’re my soulmate. What are the fucking odds?”

His lip quirked slightly. “I… I loved you too. The me that wasn’t around you. It honestly was like two different… me’s essentially. I loved you, and every time I wasn’t around you, I told myself to apologize and fucking fix myself. But then I’d see you and… this anger just consumed me. I couldn’t understand why. And then in purgatory, being around you 24/7, it’s like everything was heightened. I just wanted to make you hurt.”

I flinched and his face softened. 

“Shit, I’m sorry, Y/n.”

“No, I want to hear this. I want to understand what you were feeling,” I said. “Maybe it will help me… differentiate you from, you know… cursed you.”

He nodded before continuing. “Like I said, being around you constantly made everything worse. It was like the anger and hatred all heightened. So the night that I… hurt you… I wanted to cause you such profound pain. But I didn’t want to kill you. I think deep down, even cursed, I couldn’t bring myself to kill you. Although the curse hated you, I loved you. You were always so gentle and kind. You’re easily one of the smartest people I know. You’re beautiful and funny and innocent. I fell in love with you, and the curse despised that. It wanted to hurt you. And it did. And for that, I can not apologize enough. What I did… it’s unimaginable. I am so sorry, Y/n.”

We simply sat looking at each other for a moment. Sam sat uncomfortably beside Dean. He glanced between the two of us.

“You’re stressing me out, Sam,” I said finally. 

“Sorry,” he muttered, looking anywhere but Dean and me.

I cleared my throat and fiddled with the edge of the blanket laid over me. “I… I don’t know what to say, Dean. I really don’t.” 

“Don’t say anything, then,” he murmured.

“I want to forgive and forget. Lord do I want to forget. But this isn’t something you can overcome so easily,” I said. “I was so close to being fixed. I was so much better, but you showing up at my apartment and beating the shit out of me like that… it tore down the foundation I had built back up.”

“I had come to apologize,” he said. “And then I saw you and it all went away.”

“I know,” I told him. “It confused the fuck out of me, your fucking mood swing.”

He whistled. “No shit. It confused me.”

We sat in silence for another moment. I wasn’t scared per se, just uncomfortable. If he was “fixed,” I had nothing to fear. I knew I had nothing to fear from Dean now. However, I would never forget the malice and callousness he showed me for years. That night in purgatory was forever seared into my brain. That trauma and heartache and pain would live with me forever. It didn’t matter if he was fixed or cured or whatever the fuck you want to call it. It still happened. It was still at his hands. That’s not something to simply get over.

“I’m not asking for your forgiveness,” he said softly. “If someday you somehow find it in your heart to forgive me, then that’s your business. I don’t deserve it and I’m not expecting it. But maybe, if you’ll let us try, to start over, someday we could become friends.”

I swallowed thickly. “I don’t know, Dean.”

I watched his face flash with an emotion I couldn’t quite explain, before masking his emotions. “I understand.”

“Maybe,” I told him. “Don’t bank on it.”

Dean gave me a small smile. “I’m in your hands, Y/n. I’ll be here if you want. And if not, then I respect that.”

I yawned then and Sam stood slowly. “Let’s give her some rest, Dean. She’s had a long week.”

Dean nodded at his brother and gave one last look at me.

“I really am sorry, Y/n. I’ll live with this guilt until the day I die. I hope… I hope you find the happiness and peace you deserve.” He gave me a tight lipped smile and closed the door behind him, evidently taking all weight in the room with him. I let out a deep breath that I had been holding and rubbed at my temples. I laid back onto the pillows, letting my eyes trace designs on the ceiling in the dark of the room.

Sleep found me not long after, and no matter what knowledge I had now, or the safety that was Sam across the hall, I had no control of the nightmares that plagued my dreams and danced behind my eyes. Dean Winchester may have been cured. He may be himself around me now. However, what he did will forever live with me, and no angel cure or spell undoing will ever change that. 

And so, I walked through the valley of darkness that were my dreams, and I battled the demons caused by the man who stayed down the hall from me. Yet I slept, knowing that what tormented me behind closed eyes was no longer alive, and the man who had broken through the chains around my heart all those years ago was back and in the foreground. Though I wasn’t sure what my feelings were towards him now, knowing that what he did to me was the result of an archangel curse, I did know that perhaps someday, once we tread through the tumultuous ground that was fear and contradiction, we may learn to live in peace with one another, even if he had loved me and hated me; even if I had loved him and hated him. Yet the most important thing, the thing that allowed me to rest, if not soundly, but at all, was the fact that he no longer wanted me dead, nor did he want my blood on his hands. 

So though nothing was back to normal, and I didn’t plan on being around Dean anytime soon, perhaps I wouldn’t have to look over my shoulder anymore. Maybe I could finally find the solace and peace that I deserved. I think the world at least owes me that.

Did you like it? What was your favorite part? Send me an ask with your thoughts! Feedback is loved and greatly appreciated:)

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#spndeanbingo #spndarkbingo #badthingshappenbingo #dean x reader #dean winchester #fanfiction #trigger warnings #dark fic #dark!Dean #waywardrose13

[havingamentalbreakdowneveryminut]

Secrets: Chapter 1

I watched as Dina switched seats with Bradley, subconsciously cursing her for leaving me and Syd alone with Bradley Lewis.

I watched as Bradley smugly took one of Dina's fries. Dina has got be kidding with this guy. 

I reached for the straw of the milkshake me, Syd, and Dina had been sharing, only it was the same time as Syd reached for it. My head immediately turned to look at them, just to see they were already looking at me-- Oh yeah I forgot to mention I have little crush on one of my best friends...

Okay, so maybe it's not little, but can you blame me they are like really attractive. The only problem is they probably don't like me back.

Right now we are at a diner that Syd's mom works at, because Dina had some news, she said it was good news. But, dating Bradley Lewis is never good news.

"So--" Bradley said, watching as me and Syd's heads snapped in his direction.

"Dina's just great isn't she." Bradley said, smiling sweetly at us.

"Yup." I said, giving Bradley my fakest smile turning to Syd for help but they had their head down and were mixing the milkshake with the straw. I bit my lip, looking around the diner. Only Dina would leave us with a douchebag and take her sweet time to get the ketchup as she spoke to one of waiters.

Bradley chuckled realizing Syd still hadn't said anything. "Jesus. Do you ever smile?" he said, still scarfing down Dina's fries. I turned to Syd not really expecting a reply, they glared up at Brad continuing to play with the straw, not even gonna lie it was kind of hot.

Only a couple seconds later Dina came back sliding into the booth next to Brad, I was relieved for about 30 seconds, until they started talking to each other.

"So what have we decided?" She said, happily. Putting the ketchup - that she was taking 1 decade to get - on the fries. Brad smiled, chewing before replying.

"Whatever you want babe."

I think I just threw up in my mouth.

I looked at Syd from the corner of my eye to see them staring at Brad with irritation and anger. I knew it was best not to bother them when they got like this, so I took a sip of the milkshake trying to ignore the couple flirting in front of me.

"Oh shit!" Brad exclaimed, making me look up from the milkshake to see Dina and Brad trying to quickly stop the bleeding coming from his nose. I don't understand why they were acting so dramatic it was just a nose bleed and they were acting like he just got shot.

I didn't miss Syd's scared reaction though.

------

Once Bradley and Dina got the bleeding to stop, I turned to Syd giving them a soft look they stared at me with an 'I'm sorry' expression for a little bit, before getting up arubtly mumbling "I have to go" before rushing out of the diner.

I watched them go, with a sad expression that Dina must have caught because she gave me an apologetic expression, I gave her a small smile, before standing up and grabbing my backpack.

I turned to Bradley. "Brad." I said, bitterly. Before turning to Dina with a smile "See you tomorrow Dina." Before walking around the table and whispering in her ear.

"If he hurts you, I'll kick his ass." Causing her to giggle, as I walked out of the diner.

------

I walked home with music blasting in my ears. I loved music there is never really a time where I'm not listening to music-- well except when I'm with Syd and Dina. Syd and Dina were my only friends in this shitty town, that I've lived in since I was 3.  

Not only do I live in a shitty town but I also live with shitty parents, they both work at a company that pays them A LOT of money, they work in the company with Bradley Lewis' parents. Which sucks, because that means we have to have dinners with them and listening to Brad explain why he is the most popular guy at school isn't exactly the best way to end your night.

I sighed as I finally reached my house, it was 2 stories tall and I live here with my mom, dad, little sister, and older brother.

I walked into my house, hanging my backpack up on the coat hook, being caught by surprise when my little sister runs out of her room and hugs my legs.

"Y/n, you're back!" Lea said, with big smile on her face. I smile down at her, "I am." I chuckled, before bending down to pick her up.

Lea was 4, but she was very smart and mature for her age. She was the first person I came out to as genderfluid, and even though she didn't quite understand it, she tried her best to respect it unlike my parents--

"Y/n?" Speak of the devil.

"Yup!" I said, looking up to see my mom standing in front of me with her arms crossed, as she looked over my outfit. I rolled my eyes at her, before turning back to my sister.

"Go find Leo and see if he wants to play with you." I smiled at Lea, as she ran down the hall to go find my older brother Leo. After I knew that Lea was gone, my smile was immediately gone.

I avoided my mom's glare as I walked past her and into my room, I could hear her footsteps following me but I ignored them as I walked over to my book shelf and picking up a book to read, before turning around looking at my mom with an annoyed expression. "What?" I said.

She narrowed her eyes at me, "Why are you dressing like that?"

I looked at my mom with confusion before looking down at my outfit.  

(You can choose one of these two outfits if you'd like)

I looked back up at her, "Like what?"

She sighed in frustration. "Like-- like one of those goth people!"

I stared at her for a moment, before putting the book down and making my way downstairs I really didn't want to listen to her lecture right now. I opened the fridge grabbing a bottle of water, getting ready for yet another fight with my mom.

"Y/n, you do not walk away from me! Especially, when I'm talking to you!" My mom exclaimed pointing her finger at me as I drank my water looking at her with a bored expression.

"I know why you're doing this to me." She said, matter of factly. I glared at her. Oh, does she?

"You know you will always be a girl right? Nothing you do or say is gonna change that. You have the body parts of a girl, the mind set of a girl. You even look like one. You are a girl and you are gonna start acting like one. I don't care about all this internet stuff about the-- nonbinary people. You. Are. A. Girl." She finished. I looked back up with tears in my eyes, not daring to let one slip.

"Fuck. You." I said, getting up and speed walking to the front door, and running out of it. I walked and walked and walked, until I finally stopped and ended up at my favorite spot it was in the forest, it had a big rock right in the middle, that I liked to sit on and think away, from everyone and everything. I finally let the tears slip, knowing I was alone and I could finally let go inviting the darkness of the forest in. I had never really been scared of the dark as I always found comfort in it.

I got up and start wandering the forest touching the trees, I know it sounds weird and impossible but it felt like I had this weird connection with nature, I sometimes come across animals while in the forest, I don't walk up to them - I know better - instead I just admire them from afar.

I spotted a wolf-- Wait. A wolf? They don't even live in Pennsylvania. I stared at the wolf in confusion, and only a few seconds later it turned it's head to look at me. I stared into it's brown eyes, it looked like it was trying to tell me something.

"Y/n?" I heard someone say my name causing me to jump in surprise and look around in confusion. "Over here dumbass." The same voice said again, I slowly turned. No way. It can't be the wolf. There is no fucking way.

"Yes there is a way." The voice- wolf said.

"How the fuck are you talking right now." I said, in disbelieve.

"Okay, I know this probably freaking you out, so I should just take my human form."  The wolf-- voice said. Human form?! What the fuck was this thing?! A fucking shapeshifter? I felt a tap on my shoulder that pulled me out of my thoughts. I looked up to see a person a little bit taller then me, they were wearing a loose oversized plaid lapel jacket, with skinny jeans, and turtle neck underneath, and combat boots on it's feet. They looked pretty warm to be honest.

"What. The. Fuck."  I said, backing away from the so called person.

"Hi." It said in a cheery voice. Why the fuck are they so happy? I'm freaking out.

"You are y/n y/l/n right?" They asked. How the hell did it know my name?!

"...yeah. Who wants to know?" I said, in a nervous voice. Dammit! Come on y/n you have to be tough.

"No you don't. I'm not gonna hurt you, I'm Jamie." They said, in a softer voice, holding out it's hand for me to shake. I slowly shook it's hand looking at them suspiciously. They pulled their hand away happily, sighing in content.

"So!--" It said, causing me to jump. I watched as they looked around the forest. I stared at it with a blank expression. "Well, you gonna show me where I will be staying?" They asked, stating it as if they expected me to.

"Huh-- what, I don't even know you." I exclaimed, furrowing my eyebrows together.  Jamie gave me a confused expression.

"...I just told you my name like 2 minutes ago-- Man, do you even listen?" It chuckled, getting distracted by a bird, leaving me confused in my thoughts.

What. The. Fuck. Is going on?

Okay so that was the first chapter I hope it wasn't too bad. I feel like I'm going to like writing this fic a lot. Since I actually took the time to think and write these characters correctly. By the way Jamie is agender and they use they/it pronouns. Just in case you didn't catch that. Syd’s POV will most likely be in the next chapter. I will write y/n povs first and then Syd’s POV of what happened if that makes any sense. - Dove <3

#sydney novak x reader #i am not okay with this #genderfluid #gender nonconforming #fanfiction #lgbtq #dina ianowt #nonbinary

[justnerdthings]

New Beginnings Ch. 14

F!Reader x Liu Kang/Kung Lao

Some of you are about to be real happy.

And then real pissed off.

just a friendly warning.

Also, only two of you voted. *stares in disappointed*

@ancientowlgirl @poor-unfortunate-soul-85 @shang-hung

Enough of this. Why were you being so nervous? You were a badass. You could run into blazing infernos. Or could lunge over cliffs. You could make the earth shake!

You took a deep breath and straightened as you looked to Lao. Alright. Do it. Just do it! You opened your mouth, ready to declare that you were more than impressed with his abs…

Only a small sound escaped you. Your lungs betrayed your sliver of confidence. Lao’s brows raised in confused concern.

You shut your mouth. Your lips pursed together. What had you been thinking? Of course you couldn’t do this. You sighed in your defeat and looked away again.

Lao chuckled as he recognized that familiar doubt come to your face. “Just say it,” he told you, earning himself a small cornered glance from you. He moved in front of you. “What? What’s going on in that head of yours?”

When you shifted your eyes away again to avoid looking at him, he just moved into your new line of sight. “What is it?” He pressed again.

You shook your head and turned away, only for him to once again move in front of you. “We’re not leaving this spot until you tell me. You really gotta get over this--… whatever it is. How bad could it really be? It’s alright if you’re cautious about water now. You said you almost drowned. It’s fine. We can work on that.”

“It’s not that,” you told him, fighting the annoyance in your voice.

“Then what?”

You sighed in defeat again. “I really don’t think I should—”

“Is it a woman thing?”

“What? No!” you gave him a disgusted look.

“Then what?”

You pressed your lips together in defiance.

Lao frowned. You noticed his spirit deflating. Dammit, he must have felt like you didn’t trust him again… You didn’t entirely, but the way his eyes looked right then made your heart drop. Damn puppy dog eyes. You looked away and grumbled. He hadn’t heard what it was you’d said so he stepped closer. “What?”

You took a deep breath. You said it a bit louder, but not any more clear.

“I can’t understand you when you mumble,” he’d told you.

“You’re hot!” You then blurted out, only to quickly shut your mouth and freeze like you’d just been caught red-handed while committing some crime.

Lao stared at you in silence for a moment, then grinned and began to laugh. You sank with embarrassment. You knew you shouldn’t have said anything. Now he was just laughing at you like all those guys you’d tried to ask out in high school. Dammit. Damn him! You turned in a huff and began to hurry away.

“Hey!” Lao called after you, and soon caught your wrist to stop you. He turned you to face him, that big grin still stretched across his face, but he was trying to fight it off. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to laugh at you.”

“I’m used to it,” you told him, shame dripping from your words.

“No. No, it’s not like that. I swear.”

“It’s fine,” You tried to pull your hand back, but he gripped your wrist tighter and gently pulled you closer. You were wary as you looked up at his face.

“That’s what was so hard for you to say? That I’m hot?”

Your brows sunk as you frowned again.

“Y/N…” His grin slowly came back. “It’s fine. Really. Thank you.”

Your eyes shifted away. This was so embarrassing. Lao’s grip shifted from your wrist, gaining your attention, and you watched as he took your hand. Your chin was then lifted gently, making you look back to his face. He let his fingers linger along your jaw. That funny feeling in the pit of your stomach started up again. The one that knotted it the day before, just before Liu had pulled you into a kiss.

The icy chill of adrenaline washed over you as you stared up at him. Oh no. It was happening again. Now with Lao. Oh no. No. No. No. This was not a good idea. What if Liu found out? What did that even mean? Were you and Liu a couple now? Is that what happened yesterday? You had no idea. You two never said anything about that. Maybe it was just a one time thing? No. No, Lao had told you that Liu was interested in you. Maybe you two were a couple now. But now, Lao…

Oh, this was not going right at all. Not both of them. You didn’t know what Liu had in mind, but Lao… Lao had told you days ago that he was picky about his relationships. He was looking for a wife. He was looking for a mother for his future children. And just a few hours ago, he’d made it apparent that you were being considered for both those things. Oh no. No. No. This had to stop.

Lao’s eyes had shifted to your lips. Your breath hitched as he leaned towards you. You pulled your head back as a dark little piece of your mind screamed at you to let it happen. “Lao…” You said hesitantly.

He stopped. His brows knotted as he noticed a conflict on your face.

“I can’t,” you told him gently. “Not with… I mean… Liu…” You couldn’t form a proper sentence as guilt began sinking it’s talons into you.

Lao let out a slow sigh. Right… Liu. Liu had acted first, hadn’t he? And Liu had gotten so defensive over you last night. Lao let your hand go and stepped back. “Sorry.”

"No." You moved towards him, frowning. "Don't be… You…" Oh, god, how could you say this without sounding pathetic. "I… This is all really new to me. No one's ever been interested in me before. And now… Now I have two guys interested in me and they're practically brothers."

Lao watched you as a familiar hint of panic began to lurk in your eyes.

"I don't know what I'm doing…" you admitted. "Up until yesterday, I'd never kissed anyone."

Lao nodded and suddenly realized how uncomfortable you must have felt. Strange place. Strange people. Strange customs. And now strange feelings. He took a deep breath. Tears had threatened to fall down your cheeks. Lao was not good at dealing with crying. And thinking he may have caused this bout, dread and helplessness weighed on his shoulders.

Lao reached out and pulled you right into his chest. His strong arms wrapped around you and held you tight. He wasn't sure if this was the right move or not, but it felt like something you'd appreciate.

You couldn't help the tears as you were held. You cried right into his chest as anxiety surged through your body. You felt a gentle weight on the top of your head. "It's alright. I'm sorry," Lao said softly. You realized then that it was his chin resting on the top of your head. That was… sweet.

He must have held you for a few minutes before the awkwardness overwhelmed him. He lifted his head and pulled back a bit to look at your face. "You want to get some breakfast?"

You'd almost forgot that you hadn't eaten yet. Nodding, you pulled out of his arms and for a second it seemed like he didn't want to let you go, but had relented. You wiped at your wet eyes as you turned and headed for the dining room.

You were sitting next to Liu again at the breakfast table. Your eyes were still puffy and red, but you had assured Liu it was nothing. Lao didn’t do anything. It was just anxiety. He didn’t seem completely convinced, but let it go.

You both kept stealing glances at each other. You even stole a few of Lao, who wasn’t even bothering to hide his own efforts. A red hue stained your cheeks again.

The door opened and in walked a monk. He walked right over to the table and handed Lao an envelope with a polite bow. He bowed to you and Liu as well before taking his leave. You watched curiously before looking back to Lao as he opened the envelope.

“You guys… get mail?” You asked.

“We’re not completely in the dark ages,” Liu joked with an amused chuckle.

You grinned and looked back to Lao. Your grin quickly faded as you saw the look on his face. “What? What is it?” you asked carefully.

“Nothing. It’s fine.” He lied. Lao shook his head and folded the letter back up.

“It’s not nothing,” you pressed.

“It’s fine. Just junk,” Lao dismissed.

Liu reached for the empty envelope. He read over the address. “Your mother.”

“Yeah.” Lao took the envelope back with a sigh.

“What’d she say?” You asked.

“Nothing.” Lao was being so avoidant.

“She sent you a blank letter?” You asked in disbelief. No. It was definitely something.

“Yeah—Hey!” Lao reached out, but it was too late, you had swiped the letter from him. Your pride quickly fell as you looked over the handwritten letter.

It was entirely in chinese.

“Oh.” You frowned in your defeat. “Uh… I… I can’t read this,” you admitted.

Lao reached for it again, but Liu had grabbed it before he could. Lao sighed heavily. “Really? It’s none of your business—”

“Your brother and Ju had a baby?” Liu asked. “I didn’t know that they were expecting.”

Lao sighed again. “Yeah. Didn’t think it was that important to mention.”

“That’s great news!” You chimed in, beaming. “Why aren’t you excited? You’re an uncle!”

“Yeah. Great.” Lao wasn’t at all excited.

“Oh…” Liu mused as he read over the rest of the letter.

“Yeah…” Lao sighed as shame washed over his face.

“Don’t let it get to you, Kung Lao,” Liu told him.

“Easier said than done.” Lao seemed so defeated.

Liu frowned and you looked between them in utter confusion. “What? Don’t let what get to him?”

Neither one of them said anything for a moment, much to your annoyance. “C’mon. What’s wrong? I thought we were supposed to be a team?” Weren’t you? Shouldn’t you know what was bothering each other? What had Lao’s mother said in the letter?

Liu and Lao exchanged a glance before Liu looked back to the letter. He cleared his throat. “To my dearest, Kung Lao. We have welcomed your brother Chang and his wife’s first child into the family. They were blessed with a son who they have named Kung Jin. I hope this serves as motivation for you. How much longer are you going to wait? You are twenty-seven years old, unwed, and childless. I do not need to remind you that you carry the responsibility to carry on your ancestor’s legacy. Mortal Kombat is only five years away and you have not yet produced a son to continue the tradition. If you die in the tournament without a son to carry on the name, shame will fall onto this family. This is completely irresponsible of you. Your father is very ashamed of you. Stop fooling around. Love, Your mother.”

You could not believe your ears. “No. She didn’t write that,” you said, denying such a thing. How could a mother speak that way to her own child? You shook your head. This had to be a joke.

But Liu and Lao weren’t laughing.

It sunk in. What Liu read to you was real. Lao’s mother really had wrote those words. Your jaw hardened. “That bitch…” you mused, not meaning to say it out loud. Both of them heard it, but neither defended Lao’s mother’s honor. They just exchanged another glance with each other. You reached out and took the letter. You still couldn’t read it, but you didn’t want to if such awful words were on it.

You tore it up.

Liu and Lao both watched you in mild surprise as you shredded that letter into the tiniest pieces. “This never happened,” you told them both and brushed the pieces of paper off the table and your lap.

“Y/N…” Lao spoke, but stopped as you stared up at him defiantly.

“Never. Happened,” you repeated. “Got lost in the mail,” you offered.

Liu grinned and looked down to his plate.

You couldn’t stop thinking about it. It was well after breakfast and you were training with Liu. You were balancing on the pole again… well, not really. Your balance was awful. Your concentration was shot. Each time you fell, you didn’t even pay enough attention to be upset with yourself. Liu noticed it immediately, but chose to not say anything at first, hoping you would work through your intrusive thoughts. But it was becoming obvious that you weren’t even trying to avoid them.

He let out a small sigh, and that was enough to catch your attention. You looked up to him with knotted brows.

“What’s wrong?” He asked.

You shook your head. “Just can’t believe a mother would say that kind of stuff.”

He nodded. It had stayed on his mind too, but he was used to it. He’d known the woman almost his entire life. “She means well.”

“Bullshit,” you hissed.

Liu didn’t even fight your protest. He nodded in agreement. “She’s always been like that,” he told you. “Ever since we were children. His father isn’t any better.”

You frowned.

“He didn’t have the best childhood.”

“Don’t tell me he was abused…” You dreaded that thought.

Liu pursed his lips for a moment. That’s all you needed to see to know the answer. God, dammit. If you ever met that woman… if you ever met Lao’s father… No. You couldn’t even beat Lao. How good of fighters would his parents be? You sighed and let your clenched jaw relax.

“Thank the gods Lao turned out as well as he did,” you breathed. Liu nodded.

“I remember when we were children and I would notice new bruises on his arms or face. He never talked about them. He never had to. Sometimes I would just take him away from the temple and we’d run around… get in a bit of trouble together. Anything to distract him, really,” Liu said.

“Did the temple ever do anything about his parents?” You asked.

Liu shook his head. “They were practically untouchable. Still are, I imagine.”

“Like royalty,” you accused.

Liu nodded. “Something like that.”

“Still no excuse to beat your kid… Never an excuse for that.”

“I agree.”

“Has his family always been like that? Even his grandparents?”

Liu shrugged his shoulders. “Never met them.”

“Aunts? Uncles?”

Liu shrugged again.

“This really pisses me off, Liu.”

“Mhm.” He nodded. It upset him too. “But, they can’t do it anymore.”

“What about that baby? Is his brother like that?”

“Chang was always jealous of Lao. It wouldn’t surprise me if he has his own issues.”

“That’s not comforting to hear.”

“I know.”

“What about that baby, Liu?”

“I don’t know.”

You didn’t like that answer. You didn’t like that answer at all.

#mortal kombat #mortal kombat 2021 #liu kang #kung lao #raiden #reader insert #fanfic #fic #reader x character #ludi lin #max huang #tadanobu asano #new beginnings #reader x liu kang #reader x kung lao #liu kang x reader #kung lao x reader

[pitubea1910]

10th Anniversary

Pairing: Harry Styles x Reader

Words: 4k

Warnings: -

Tags: -

Request: -

Notes: I was supposed to post this for their 10th Anniversary but I totally forgot about it and just found it on my drafts! So I hope you like it :)

MASTERLIST

The moment you woke up you knew what day it was without even looking at the calendar.

July 23rd 2020.

10 years. It had been a whole decade since all the craziness started. Looking back now, you would have never imagined everything you all had gone through in that time, how much you had grown up -together and separated-, how much your lives had changed.

You were a 15 years-old-girl when you met them thanks to your aunt Lou. When you first laid eyes on them, you just saw five loud and unstoppable guys. You would have never imagined that you would find four brothers and something else in them.

However, there you were, 10 years later, checking your Twitter timeline with a stupid grin on your face. It looked like 2012 all over again and you loved it. You missed those times like crazy. Of course, you knew the hiatus was coming the moment Zayn left the band -and they had earned every single day of it-, but that didn’t change how much you missed them all.

Even though you had kept in touch with the five of them it wasn’t the same. They were all busy with their own solo projects and they barely had the time to meet up. You couldn’t blame them, but you still missed them. Especially the green-eyed one.

Harry and you immediately clicked when you met. It turned out you had a lot in common and similar personalities. You had a tight relation with the whole group, but what you and Harry had was special. Probably it helped that you were the same age. But the truth was that it didn’t matter the reason, you were always together.

Everyone who saw you together and knew how your relationship was just kept on saying that you two would end up together. It turned out they weren’t completely wrong, although it never worked out the way you would have wanted. You were a couple for less than a year. It was the best year of your life and the worst break-up you ever had.

You loved him and he loved you, there was no doubt of that, but it was too complicated to keep it going. As much as you loved touring the world with them, spending every single day with Harry, you also needed a life of your own, you wanted to go to college and doing it from afar didn’t work for you. It was the hardest decision you ever made, but everyone understood and supported you. Harry the most.

It broke his heart as well, but he knew he couldn’t ask you to keep with his lifestyle. He had to let you go. You gave distance a chance, but with their schedules and the time zones it soon became impossible. You remembered the last FaceTime you had, how heartbroken you both were. But it was for the best.

You never lost contact though. Every single time he would come to London he called you to spend a day together. Those days ended up being the best days of the year and they usually ended with you two going back to his place and spending the night together. And every morning your heart broke knowing you had to say goodbye again. But you kept on coming back to him every time his name showed up on your screen.

Usually he was the one who reached out, which made sense since he was the one who was travelling all the time. That morning, that July 23rd, was different. You texted first for the first time in a long time.

Happy 10 years, Styles. Wish we could celebrate together. Love you.

You gulped before sending the text. He was probably in the States and he wouldn’t see it for another few hours, so after sending some other texts to Louis, Liam, Niall and Zayn, you got out of bed and headed to the shower. Usually, you would have to hurry to get to your internship, but with the pandemic you still didn’t have to go, so you had another day completely off.

However, before you got into the shower, you heard your ringtone. You frowned confused. It was way too early for your mum to be calling, so you had no clue who could it be. Maybe it was your boss, giving you an update on the status of your internship. With a sigh, you turned on the water and went back to the room, hoping it would be a quick call so you could go back to your shower.

You took the phone without even looking at the phone and answered it.

“Hello?” You said as you started walking back to the bathroom.

“Happy ten years to you too, love”, a deep known voice said on the other side, making you stop on your tracks as your heart started racing.

Quickly, you checked the caller and saw Harry’s name. He was probably the last person you expected to talk to that day.

“Thanks”, you finally managed to say when you put your phone against your ear.

“I’m guessing you didn’t expect my call?” He said. Judging by his tone, you knew he was smirking, which made you smile.

“You guessed correctly”, you admitted. “How are you awake?”

“I was out for an early run”, he said, making you frown.

“Wait, are you in England?”

“In London to be more accurate”, he said.

“R-really?” You stuttered.

“So maybe we can also make the celebration happen”, he said.

“Really?” You repeated. “I mean, yes! That would be great!”

You smacked yourself on the forehead for being such a nerd. He chuckled quietly before saying he had to make some calls during the morning, but he could pick you up at noon to have some lunch. You said yes immediately. Most of the restaurants were still closed, but he was Harry Styles. He always had a trick up his sleeve, and you couldn’t see what he would pull off that day.

Since you woke up way too early, the morning went off slowly. Or maybe it was just you being impatient. However, you finally got a text from Harry saying he was parked outside of your building. You grabbed your purse with the basic stuff -wallet, keys and phone- and a mask. Once you were sure you had locked the door properly, you went to the elevator.

Usually, he would wait for you in his car in case some recognised him. So it shocked you to see him casually leaning against the vehicle when you walked out of the building. When he heard you, he looked up from his phone. You couldn’t see his whole face due to the mask he was wearing, but his eyes told you he was smiling.

Despite all the precautions and distancing you were supposed to take, you knew it wouldn’t work with him. He was like a magnet and all you wanted to do was hug him and have him hugging you.

“Can I hug you?” He asked.

The fact that he was thinking the same as you made you laugh. All you did was hugging him tightly. He could always hug you, no matter what. He was the exception to every rule.

“I missed you”, you said with your eyes closed, which made him squeeze you a bit tighter.

“Me too”, he whispered.

You spent a couple of minutes just holding each other before he pulled away and opened the passenger door for you. You thanked him with a smile and got into the car and buckled up while he walked around the vehicle to get in before taking off the mask. You did the same and looked at him, the whole him this time.

“I love your hair short”, you said.

Harry looked at you with a dimpled smile and ran a hand through his hair -an old habit he didn’t seem to be able to shake but you loved- before turning on the engine.

“How long has it been?” He asked once he started driving.

“Christmas, I think”, you said after thinking about it for a moment. “Hans’ Christmas party before you went back to the States.”

“Right”, he said and looked at you, making you blush and smile at the memories of that night. “How have you been?”

“Locked”, you chuckled making him chuckle as well. “But good, I finished my thesis, watched a lot of movies and TV shows and baked. A lot.”

“You’ve always been good at baking”, he said.

“And you’ve always been good at eating”, you teased, making him laugh. “What about you?”

“I got stuck in the States until a few days ago”, he shrugged. “Didn’t do much either.”

“Sorry about your tour, by the way”, you said when you remembered. “I was excited.”

“Me too”, he sighed. “But some stuff are more important.”

You smiled a little and nodded to yourself. This pandemic had been, and was been, a wreck all around the world. As usual, you reached out to turn on the radio, which made Harry smile to himself. Ever since the first time you had got into his car, all those years ago, you would always start the music, no matter what. At first, he was surprised you took such confidences in someone else’s car, but he soon loved that detail about you.

“How is it going with your internship?” He asked when the song that was playing on the radio ended.

“I’m on furlough”, you shrugged and sighed. “I got an email last week saying some people would start coming back to work soon. But I don’t think that includes interns.”

“I wouldn’t be in a hurry if I were you”, he commented as he checked the mirrors. “You don’t have a car to go to the office and I wouldn’t be too excited about getting into the tube.”

“I could always get a bike”, as soon you said that you both started laughing. You were the less sportive person you had even known. “Yeah, that was a good one.”

“Indeed”, he chuckled.

“I’m not in a hurry to go back”, you shrugged. “But it’s boring.”

“I know”, he sighed and looked at you for a moment. “But at least now we have time to hang out.”

“Like old times”, you smiled. Harry smiled softly and nodded.

“Like old times.”

“Where are we going by the way? Most restaurants are still closed”, you said.

You had been so focused on talking to Harry and watching him drive that you hadn’t been paying attention to the streets, so you had no idea where you were going.

“My place”, he said, surprising you. “My new place, actually.”

“You have a new place?” You asked even more surprised.

“Yeah. Too many people knew about the house in Hampstead. It was annoying”, he sighed. “Hopefully, no one will find out about this one.”

“But you loved Hampstead!”, you pouted. You loved that house too, to be honest.

“I didn’t sell it”, he shrugged with a smile. “I just don’t use it as official residency.”

“Good”, you smiled now. “So… your place.”

“You’re okay with that?” He asked a bit concerned.

“Oh yes! I just assumed we would to some restaurant”, you shrugged.

“I thought about it”, he nodded. “But even if they’re open, I feel bad for the people who have to work in them, so I guess it makes their lives less anxious with less customers.”

“Always so thoughtful”, you commented.

“Can’t help myself”, he said, his cheeks blushing a little.

You smiled sweetly and looked out of the window, now curious to see where he had moved to. Judging by the zone, you were in the south of London, although you couldn’t figure out exactly where.

Finally, he drove into a subterranean parking in a big brick building. The parking didn’t have many cars, which led you to believe that he didn’t have many neighbours. Harry parked at the very end of the place and, once he turned off the engine, you unbuckled yourself and got out of the car.

“Quite big for a few cars”, you commented looking around.

“I know”, he laughed after locking his car. “It’s a new building. Probably is four years old, so not many people live here yet. And those who do, have more than one car so…”

“You have more than one spot?” You asked.

“Those three are also mine”, he said pointing.

You smiled when you saw the familiar black Range Rover in which you had been so many times over the years. The other two spots were empty, but you knew he had the cars to fill them.

Without saying anything, he started walking to an elevator you hadn’t seen at first sight. You followed him while you checked your phone before throwing it into your bag for the rest of the day. When you got into the elevator, you looked around at how new it looked.

“How long have you been living here?” You asked, leaning against the wall of the elevator.

“A couple of years”, he shrugged and you nodded. “I was the second one to move in.”

“Really?” He nodded. “Nice”, you chuckled.

It didn’t surprise you when the elevator opened at the last floor. He had always liked high places and he had always said that he would love to live in a penthouse someday. It looked like he had fulfilled another one of his fantasies. As you stepped out, you saw that there were only two doors. Private.

“I’m the only one in this floor”, he commented. “These two places are the most expensive so”, he shrugged.

“More silence for you. Imagine a family with three children living across the hall”, you said.

“You would go crazy”, he laughed.

“Definitely”, you smiled a little.

It wasn’t like you didn’t like kids. You did. But when there were many of them, you got a bit nervous, especially if they were loud.

Harry took out a keychain and put it in front of where a locker should have been. It beeped and he pushed the door open. He looked back with a cocky grin.

“Snob”, you mumbled when he let you walk in first.

“Hey!” He laughed.

He took your bag and hung it next to the door while you looked around in awe. It was an open-space living room and kitchen, surrounded by huge windows from where you could see Vauxhall Bridge and the other side of the Thames. It was all decorated in cold colours, but it wasn’t a cold environment. He had managed to give his personal and warm touch.

“What do you think?” He asked standing behind you, a bit more closer than what you expected.

“Much better than Hampstead”, you admitted.

“You think so?”

“There’s no way teenage girls will camp just outside your door”, you shrugged.

“Good point”, he laughed. “Come, I’ll show you the balcony.”

“I’m not a big fan of heights”, you reminded him while he was dragging you by your hand.

“I won’t let you go��, he said.

Saying no to him was an impossible task. There was nothing you could deny to him, not when he gave you that dimpled smile that you loved so much.

To be honest, the views were breath-taking, it couldn’t be denied, but you didn’t go too close to the edge just in case and Harry didn’t push you. All he did was hold your hand tightly.

“I have to confess something”, he said after a while.

“What is it?” You asked quietly.

“I haven’t cooked anything. I was praying you were craving pizza”, he said, making you laugh out loud.

“I’m always craving pizza, you idiot”, you said giving him hand a gentle squeeze before going back inside.

He followed you inside but left the door open. While he ordered the pizza, you walked around the living room, checking out the photos he had framed and also the vinyl collection he had. You smiled a little when you saw that he had all One Direction CDs there as well, as vinyl.

When you started looking at the photos, the first one that caught your eye was one of the two of you, so many years ago, in the tour bus. You took it from the chest it was on. You smiled warmly as you remembered all those long hours stuck into the bus. Somehow, they all managed to make it fun.

In the photo, you and Harry were laying down on one of the sofas, sleeping while facing each other. You were cuddled up against him while he had one hand on your waist, hugging you, and the other one stretched over your head. You remembered having that photo as your lockscreen for so long.

“I think that’s my favourite.”

You hadn’t expected Harry to be just behind you. You hadn’t even heard him coming close to you, so you gasped and almost dropped the photo, but he was quick enough to catch it.

“So I would appreciate if you didn’t break it”, he chuckled.

“Sorry, you scared me”, you said.

“Sorry”, he said too and looked down at the photo before putting it back on top of the chest. “We really had fun that tour, didn’t we?”

“Wasn’t it the one when we started dating?” You asked. He nodded and turned around to walk to couch. “It really was fun.”

“Are you seeing anyone?” He asked all of sudden.

You chuckled and looked down before shaking your head. It was a question that always came up between you two. If the answer was positive it changed the whole mood of the time you spent together. It wasn’t like you didn’t want each other to date other people, but it still hurt to see it.

“Are you?” You asked.

“No”, he said and looked at you before smiling a little.

“Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that”, he said and looked down at his hands. He started playing with his rings, which he used to do whenever he got nervous.

“About what?”

“Us.”

“Oh…”, you gulped and looked down as well.

You always feared when he brough that up. Usually it was because he was seeing someone, so you guessed this time wouldn’t be different, even though he had just said he wasn’t seeing anyone. You bite your lip and nodded.

“Okay”, you whispered.

“I was going to wait until after we ate but since it came up”, he shrugged.

“You brought it up”, you quickly said.

“Good point”, he chuckled.

“Anyway”, you looked at him. “What is it? What’s her name?”

“Her name?” He asked confused. “I’m… I’m not seeing anyone. I told you.”

“Really?” You frowned, even more confused than him. “I just- Every time you want to talk about us, it is because you’re seeing someone.”

“Oh… I hadn’t thought about it, to be honest”, he said thinking about it before laughing a little. “It’s not the case now”, he shrugged.

“What is it?” You asked now curious but also fearful. What if he said he didn’t have feelings for you anymore?

“You know how we have always said that we can’t be together because of how messy my life is, right?” He asked and you nodded, having no clue where he was going with this. “Well, I’ve been thinking about it, and you were right about it back then. When I was in the band. Now it’s different.”

“How? You still have the same job”, you shrugged. “And I don’t want you to have a different one”, you quickly added.

“Yes, but I’m not touring all year long”, he explained. “Now I can take my time. It’s been two years since I dropped my first solo album and only last year, I dropped Fine Line. Yes, when I’m on tour I spend a lot of time on it, but I also have a lot of time between one and the next. Especially now that it’s been postponed.”

“Harry”, you interrupted him. “Go to the point”, you chuckled.

“Yes, sorry”, he smiled a little. “I want to give it, us, another chance.”

Your mind went completely blank as he said the words. You had no idea how many times you had dreamed about this and, now that it was right in front of you, you didn’t know what to say. Suddenly, you felt scared, confused, lost. You loved him? Of course you did. Was this a good idea? You got no idea. You only knew that the first time almost broke you and you didn’t know if you were ready to go through that again.

Although it could work out this time, a tiny voice inside your head said.

What if it didn’t? What if you just didn’t work as a couple?

Luckily for you, just then the bell rang.

“Pizza!” You exclaimed and got up, relieved to have some time off from that conversation.

Harry looked at you as you ran to the door, obviously running away from him at the moment. He had no idea what to think of that. Did that mean you didn’t feel the same way anymore? You only saw him as a friend? Or maybe it was just that you didn’t see it coming and felt a bit overwhelmed? He wanted to believe it was the latest, but his mind kept on going to the worst-case scenario.

Anyway, the food was there and he figured that giving you time to take his words in wouldn’t hurt anyone.

Harry had already paid for the pizzas when he ordered them, so all you had to do was take them. Once you closed the door by pushing it with your foot, you went to the isle that separated the kitchen from the living room and put them on top of it.

“This smell amazing”, you said while Harry was walking around the kitchen gathering the dishes, glasses and napkins.

“I’m drooling just by the smell”, he agreed. “Do you want to eat here, in the living room or out there?”

“It’s a bit chilly out there”, you said. “Maybe the living room and we can watch something on Netflix?”

“Sounds good”, he nodded.

Silently, you two moved everything to the living room and set the table up. When it was all ready, Harry turned on the TV and logged into his Netflix account before he started looking for something to watch while you poured water into the glasses.

“What about Harry Potter and The Priosioner of Azkaban?” He suggested.

“You know me”, you smiled widely.

It was your favourite Harry Potter movie, so there was no way you would say no to it. Harry smiled warmly and nodded to himself.

“I do”, he sighed before pressing play on the remote.

***

“I’m surprised you watched the whole movie”, you said two hours later when the movie was over.

“Why?” Harry asked.

He stood up and started taking everything back to the kitchen.

“Well”, you got up too and took the glasses. “You always fall asleep during the movies I choose.”

“Technically, I chose this one, so it would’ve been rude to fall asleep”, he said while you handed him the glasses so he would put them into the dishwasher.

“It’s rude anyway but whatever helps you sleep at night”, you said with a smile.

“Are you saying I’m rude?” He asked with his eyes narrowed after he closed the dishwasher.

“Contrary to popular belief, Mr. Styles… I know the whole truth about you”, you said, crossing your arms.

“And what is that?” He asked, mirroring your position.

“That you can be rude sometimes”, you shrugged.

“Falling asleep during a movie is not rude. It is… tiredness”, he said, making you laugh.

“And you always have a reply for everything”, you said.

“I like to be prepared”, he shrugged.

“Like I said…”, you laughed and leaned against the counter.

Harry laughed out loud and shook his head before excusing himself to go to the bathroom. You stayed there in the kitchen, thinking again about what Harry had said just before the pizza arrived. You had barely paid attention to the movie thanks to that.

You had no idea where that proposition came from. It had been years since you two had had any conversation about your relationship and you had no idea what you wanted. Yes, you loved him. Yes, you wanted to be with him. But you feared that this was just about him feeling nostalgic. You remembered vividly the great couple you two were, but you didn’t know if you could go through that kind of heartbreak again.

“You know what I’ve been trying to get better at during lockdown?”

You jumped a little since you hadn’t heard him coming back from the bathroom.

“Surprise me”, you said, still lost in thought.

“Football”, he said. You looked at him with an eyebrow raised, trying not to laugh.

“Really?” You asked. “How did that turn out exactly?”

“Awful”, he admitted, making you laugh.

“I figured”, you nodded and sighed, looking down at your hands.

You felt him coming closer until he was standing right in front of you. Yet, you didn’t dare to look up.

“You okay?” He finally asked.

“Where did that come from?” You blurted out. When he didn’t answer, you looked up. He was frowning and the look in his eyes told you that he was measuring his words. “About us.”

“From… what I feel for you”, he said like it was obvious. “What I’ve always felt for you.”

“Right”, you sighed.

“Don’t you feel the same anymore?” He asked worried.

“I don’t think there’s a world, a universe, where I don’t feel that way about you”, you sighed.

“What’s the problem, then?”

“Why now? How do I know that this, you wanting more again, is not something that will just go away?” You asked.

“I’ve always wanted more from us, (Y/N). The only reason we broke up was because we couldn’t make it work with our lives. We can now”, he said. Hesitantly, he took a step towards you and held your hands. “I’ve loved you since we were 18. I can promise you it isn’t going anywhere. Ever. And neither am I.”

“It…”, you sighed. “It just hurt so much when we broke up, Harry. I don’t think I can go through that again.”

“You won’t.”

“You can’t promise that”, you chuckled.

“I could”, he shrugged. “Because that’s a promise I plan on keeping.”

You looked down at your united hands and sighed. His hands had always been so big, way bigger than yours, which had always made you feel safe in a strange way. You bit your lip, not knowing what to do. You knew what you wanted, but you didn’t know if you were brave enough to do it.

“I love you”, you whispered.

“And I love you too”, he said back, rubbing your hands. “You’re my endgame.”

“Don’t use The Avengers against me”, you said, making him laugh. With a sigh, you looked up and it surprised you to find his green eyes so close to yours. “You can’t look at me with those eyes and expect me to give you a reasoned answer.”

“I don’t want you to follow reason”, he shrugged. “I want you to say what you really want.”

“You”, you said without hesitation. “Always. Every day.”

Harry smiled warmly and put some hair out of your face gently, before cupping your face.

Your heart was beating so fast and it felt so loud, that it surprised you that he couldn’t listen to it. You didn’t know what the right thing to do was, but you knew that reasoning about this wouldn’t get you anywhere. You knew you loved him, you knew you wanted to be with him. Maybe he was right. Maybe you could make it work this time. They said that third time was the charm, but maybe the second could be your charm.

“Is it a yes?” He asked, now looking at your lips.

“Yes”, you finally nodded.

His smile grew even bigger now before pulling you towards him and pressing his lips against yours. Just like every single time, you felt fireworks in your stomach. Ever since the first time you kissed him, you felt you could spend your whole time kissing him and would never get tired of it.

Maybe this time, you could do it forever.

#harry styles #harry #harry imagine #harry styles imagine #harry x reader #harry styles x reader #one direction #10 years #10 years of 1d #niall horan #zayn malik #louis tomlinson #liam payne #fluff #imagine #one shot #pitubea #original work

[haikyuucute]

You’re Dating Him? (Kenma Kozume)

Request: Hi! I just read some of your fics and they're absolutely amazing 💜 I'd like to request a scenario / one-shot for Kenma pls 🥺 the idea is that yaku has a younger sister (same age as kenma) that attends a different school and he doesn't want the boys to meet her because he thinks they will try to flirt with her. But one day she goes to their practice because yaku forgot something at home, and of course the boys tried to flirt with her (kuroo, yamamoto, lev...) but somehow after some time she ends up dating kenma, the only one yaku thought would never try something with her sister 😂 It's just an idea so change anything you want! And thanks in advance ❣️

A/N: Lol this turned out way longer than I thought. I also had some trouble writing for Kenma but I think this was pretty good practice! Ty for the request❤️❤️

Word Count: 1.1k

“I wanna go—“

”No.”

You huffed, “Morisuke—!”

”I said no (F/N).”

”But why nottt,” you whined, crossing your arms as you leaned back in your seat on the train you were both on, “My club got cancelled after school today, so you know this is a rare occasion! I won’t have anything to do so I can just go to Nekoma, watch your practice, and we can walk home together!”

”You know why not. Last time you showed up, the guys were all over you.” He recounted bitterly, “Just go home after school.”

You sighed, feeling dejected as the train reached your brothers stop and you watched with a small scowl on your face as he got up to leave.

However as the doors closed and train started moving again towards your own school now, your scowl fell once you spotted what was left behind in Morisuke’s spot.

His knee pads.

Suddenly, a much more mischievous grin played on your lips.

—

“Alright,” Kuroo’s voice sounded throughout the gym as he took over practice, “After warm up’s, Lev is going to practice receives with Yaku and....”

Yaku drowned out the rest of what Kuroo was saying as he frantically searched his bag for his knee pads. He inwardly groaned when he couldn’t find them, the idea of going for receives without knee pads already made his knees ache.

But when the gym doors opened to reveal his sister with his knee pads dangling from her hand, and a cheerful “Morisuke!” leaving your lips, he decided he would’ve rather put up with the bruises he would’ve gotten without them.

He glanced at his team, already cringing at the way the boys’ faces lit up at the sight of you.

Lev and Inuoka had that same love struck face from the first time they met you, Kuroo’s annoying smirk played at his lips, Yamamoto looked as if he was going to pass out, and a few of the others started blushing.

The team eyed you briefly as you happily skipped towards your brother to give him his knee pads, before Nekomata scolded them to focus.

”What are you doing here?” Yaku whisper yelled at you.

You innocently shrugged, “My stupid brother left his knee pads on the train, and being the sweet sister I am, I decided to bring them to you.”

He narrowed his eyes at your smug grin, “You’re evil. Just go sit over there, and don’t bring any more attention to yourself.”

”Yeah, yeah,” you giggled, making your way over to where the coaches sat.

However, Yaku had missed the flirty wave you sent towards Kenma and the subtle pink tint that covered the setters cheeks.

Practice had gone fairly well, other than the occasional comment Yaku overheard about his sister he knew it could’ve gone worse.

The real danger was when practice ended and he quite literally had to fight the boys off you, as he was not above tripping Lev when he attempted to make a bee-line towards you.

And while Yaku had been busy yelling at his teammates for looking at you, you had sneakily wrapped a hand around Kenma’s wrist, who was already standing off to the side away from everyone.

Kenma’s eyes widened, not expecting to suddenly be shoved into the storage room.

”(F/N—)“

”Kenma!” You exclaimed, throwing your arms around him. “I missed you!”

He stumbled back slightly from your sudden weight, but caught you.

You had been seeing Kenma for about a month or so after you originally met him the first time you visited the team. It was in a situation similar to this one where your brother had been trying to stop his teammates from flirting with you, and in the chaos you spotted Kenma. You struck up a conversation, exchanged numbers, and before either of you really knew it, you were dating.

Of course, no one else needed to know— especially not Yaku.

He wrapped his arms around your waist, seeing as you hadn’t let go yet. “We just saw each other two days ago though,” he said.

You pulled back, to face him better, “I still missed you,” you grinned, “That’s why I came today!” His cheeks tinged pink. “Also, my brother is gonna be out tomorrow if you want to come over— I just got that game you’ve been wanting to play.”

His eyes lit up at the idea, “Yeah, I can go.”

Your smile widened and you quickly leaned in to place a chaste kiss on his lips.

Unfortunately, it had to be in the same moment the door was swung open.

You and Kenma turned quickly to find Yaku standing in the doorway with a stunned face, a couple of the other members stopping once they caught the sight of your arms wrapped around Kenm’s neck and his hands resting on your waist.

Yaku hadn’t said anything, continuing to stand in stunned silence with his mouth agape.

That was when Lev bounded up next to Yaku, “Kenma are you dating (F/N)!?”

That seemed to bring Yaku back to reality as he pushed the lanky first year away, before turning back to the two of you, “What is this?”

You laughed awkwardly, glancing at Kenma before stepping away from him, “Uh— we’ve been dating for a little while now.”

His eyes widened, “And you never told me!?— And out of all of them I thought Kenma would be the last person I had to worry about!” He exclaimed.

You rolled your eyes at him, “Oh stop it, at least it’s not Kuroo-san—“

“Wait, what—?” The middle blocker asked, looking mildly offended.

You ignored him, ”—We all know you would’ve lost it if that was the case.”

Yaku huffed, glancing past you and at Kenma who stood there awkwardly, not exactly liking the attention he was suddenly getting.

”Alright fine,” he admitted, “I guess there were worse choices— but you could’ve told me.”

”Well now you know.”

”Whatever. C’mon we’re going home,” he grabbed your wrist dragging you along as the team watched in amusement as the two siblings bickered, “And I’m telling mom you have a boyfriend.”

”She already knows!”

”What!?“

You launched into a fit of giggles, turning to look back at Kenma, “Bye Kenma, see you tomorrow!”

Yaku gasped, “What do you mean you’re seeing him tomorrow—!”

Your arguing fell silent in the gym once the doors were slammed shut, leaving the rest of the team to figure out what just happened.

Kenma walked out of the closet towards Kuroo so they could finally head home themselves as well.

He frowned upon seeing Kuroo’s smirk.

”Stop it,” he huffed, making Kuroo laugh.

”I haven’t said anything.”

”You were going to. Let’s go,” he muttered, walking past him towards the exit.

Kuroo laughed once again, smacking Kenma’s back, jolting him forward slightly, “Good job getting Yaku’s sister.”

Kenma sighed.

~

Taglist:

@yams046

#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #kenma #kenma x reader #kenma kozume #kenma kozume x reader

[purplebass]

#2 Celbratory Fic! And it's another one with Jesse and his uncles + cousins. This time, Jesse spends time with uncle Gabriel, Thomas, Anna and Grace. You can just say is a continuation of this other fic I've posted a few days ago. The next fic will be about Grace and Christopher (also: anon, I hope you don't mind I'll use your prompt!). I also hint at this in this fic. So, happy reading! ✨

Characters: Jesse Blackthorn, Thomas Lightwood, Gabriel Lightwood, Anna Lightwood, Grace Blackthorn, Lucie Herondale

Jesse sat across his cousin Thomas in the carriage, and it was a bright morning. He forgot how hot the weather could turn towards the summer season, and wished he hadn’t worn a coat, because the air in the vehicle was stale, and he was sweating. Too late. Too late and too bad the windows seemed to be stuck, but at least they had almost arrived at his uncle Gabriel’s house.

“Are you adapting well?” Thomas asked him.

“Uncle Gabriel and aunt Cecily are very kind,” he said. He accepted to live at their house for the time being, while he continued training to become a shadowhunter. “And Anna decided to give me her room while I’m there. I can’t express my gratitude enough.”

Thomas smiled. “Don’t mention it. You’re part of our family. But even if you weren’t, we would still help you, Jesse.”

Jesse couldn’t help but grin, and blush a little. He remembered when he was a child. His mother never failed to mention how his uncles and their families were corrupted, evil, and they needed to be kept at arm’s length, if he ever were to cross paths. But his relatives had been nothing short of welcoming.

“Looks like we’re here,” Thomas announced, glancing outside. “By the angel, uncle!” he exclaimed next, as he opened the door to get off.

Jesse exited after him, and saw his uncle Gabriel touching the side of his shoulder. “Is everything alright?” he asked. Thomas seemed to have stormed inside already.

Gabriel looked up, and winced a little. “Yes, yes. I wanted to open the door for you, but Thomas beat me to it,” he shrugged. “Did you have fun at Gideon and Sophie’s?”

Jesse nodded. “They took me around Idris. It was really nice,” he said. He had seen Idris already, when he was a ghost. But seeing it during the day was something entirely different. He liked the shadowhunter city, and the life that came with it. Although, if he had to be honest, he preferred the area where Blackthorn Manor was located, at the edge of Brocelind forest, where there was nothing else but vegetation around him. And Herondale Manor.

“I’m glad, I’m glad,” Gabriel replied. “When you’re ready, we will accompany you to the manor like you asked last time. Do you still want to renovate it?”

“I think it’s my duty as the last Blackthorn alive.” It felt weird to utter the word alive without thinking himself dead. I am alive. I am alive. I am living. “And I want to see if there is something that can be salvaged from the ruins. You know, family heirlooms, and things like that.” There weren’t many things in the manor that Jesse had cared about, because admittedly, there hadn’t been much to begin with. He hoped that most of the items he used whenever they were there, like the old books which probably belonged to his father or grandparents, hadn’t been destroyed in the fire. He had cherished those books. They were one of the few goods that had given him a glimpse of how his father might have been around his age. He didn’t live that long, after all.

Sometimes, he found himself thinking about Rupert. How life might have turned out, if he hadn’t lost his life before he was born. Now his uncles, aunts and cousins were the closest thing he had to a family. His uncle Gabriel offered to teach him how to use the bow and arrow, which had surprised Jesse. He hadn’t asked anyone to help him with training. He was happy someone offered to help him.

“I’ve always wanted to learn how to use it, but we didn’t have one at Chiswick,” he told Gabriel in the training room of the London Institute, where there was more space available to practice.

Gabriel had made a face. “Strange. There was one which belonged to me, but maybe,” he had shaken his head, lost in thought. “Nevermind. Let’s get started, shall we?”

And then he had spent the day learning how to hold the bow and shoot. It hadn’t been easy, and his shoulders were a little stiff, but he had managed to pull a few good shoots by the end of their session. His uncle had patted his shoulder lightly and had congratulated him. It felt good.

“Not bad for your first time,” he had commented. “How did you find the bow?”

“I think I like it.”

“If we train more, you will get even better. No pressure.”

Jesse wasn’t sure if the bow and arrow was his weapon of choice, but he surely wanted to know more about it. “Thanks, uncle Gabriel,” he had replied, making his uncle’s face brighten.

It was the first time he had called him uncle.

Gabriel and Jesse reached the drawing room. Perched on an armchair, newspaper in hand, sat his cousin Anna Lightwood. “About time, cousin. My tea’s got cold,” she said, twirling the cup in her slender fingers for show. It was empty.

Jesse had heard a lot about Anna. Had seen her while he was a ghost as well. She had a reputation for being fashionable and very direct, confident. Two things he didn’t think he was, but not everyone was perfect, and he was sure that Anna had demons of her own. Perhaps, someday they would talk about it like cousins did. He believed.

“You know that our family’s carriage is slow, Anna,” said Thomas from the window, his arms crossed on his chest.

“Right. Anyway, you’re here, finally,” she said, rising from her seat. “Are you excited that we’re about to redo your wardrobe?”

“I trust your judgement” he answered. “But please, don’t make me ridiculous.”

“You, ridiculous?” Anna’s eyebrows shot up in disbelief. “You could never be ridiculous with such features. Trust me on that. I will make your black hair and green eyes combination shine.”

“If you say so,” he pursed his lips. “Grace,” he said then, as his sister crossed the threshold. She had been staying at the Lightwoods as well, but lately she had been spending more time at Grosvenor Square, where the Fairchilds lived. She told him that she liked to help his cousin Christopher in the lab, and that she wanted to learn more about science. Jesse couldn’t object about that, because he knew that his sister could never truly pursue what she wanted. He just wanted her to be happy, and if science was what she was interested in, so be it.

“I’m sorry I’m late, but I had to change.”

“Did my brother burn something again?” Anna asked. “Last time I wanted to watch what he was doing, he ruined my tie.”

“And he almost burnt my eyebrows once,” Thomas reminded them.

“Nothing of the sort,” Grace said. “It’s late, isn’t it? Shouldn’t we go?” she asked hurriedly, as if she didn’t want to continue that conversation. She barely talked about what happened in the lab, and he guessed she didn’t want to. Not that he wanted to know. He respected her privacy, but not everyone did.

Thomas stayed behind because he had something to do, whereas Jesse, Anna and Grace decided to take a walk to get to the shops where they could find something for him. They didn’t disguise themselves, which he liked. It made him feel part of the world again, to be seen by people. The street Anna had taken them teemed with pedestrians going about their day, and they reached the clothing shop soon. It had a big sign on it, and some dresses on display.

Anna decided that purple and burgundy were Jesse’s color, and she chose a couple of waistcoats. She insisted that she would pay, saying they were a welcoming gift. Now they were visiting the third shop, which was a three floor building which sold different items for men and women alike. He believed they had bought several pieces already, but Anna was convinced that he needed a coat for the winter season, even if it was almost summer. Ah, and a bathing suit. Really? As she was looking around to find the perfect piece, he decided to take a tour around the store, since he had never seen one like that before.

He was by himself as he waited, because Grace excused herself that she also needed to look for something. He walked around and glanced at the accessories and the clothes, until something caught his eye.

“I don’t think that is her style,” Grace said, reappearing by his side as if she had appeared out of thin air.

He lifted a brow. “I don’t know who you’re talking about,” he feigned ignorance. “And how do you know what her style is?”

“You’re right, I have no idea about that. Although I’ve paid attention to her, I’m not sure.”

“About what?” he peered at her as she was checking something from the same rack.

Grace gave him an unreadable look. “She seems fickle. I’m worried that now that she managed to bring you back, she won’t be interested anymore.”

“I understand your concern, Grace,” he told her flatly. “But I can assure you, it’s nothing like that.”

“Has she told you she loves you already?”

“How do you know that?” he asked, blushing, glancing away.

“She did,” Grace said, inclining her head. “I can’t believe it. I thought she would never.”

Jesse didn’t know how Grace had realized that, but he could tell that she understood his feelings, and she didn’t want him to get hurt. He was about to ask her something, when Anna interrupted them.

“This looks refined, cousin,” she commented. “Lucie will like it,” she added, before she stormed away again.

Jesse and Grace exchanged a glance, and the latter grinned. He felt his cheeks warm, and he walked away before his sister could notice he was blushing.

...

A few hours and several bags of clothes and accessories later, they all went back to the Lightwood residence. Anna was pleased with what she had chosen for Jesse, and said that she’d be looking forward to seeing him in one of them at the next event, whatever that might be.

“Anna has a good eye for fashion,” Grace commented, holding two bags of clothes as well. “Do you think she likes us?”

“Why wouldn’t she?” Jesse shrugged. It was a curious question he did not expect.

“Well, you’re her cousin, whereas I’m -” Grace stopped mid-sentence, making Jesse wait. “Lucie.”

She turned abruptly, as if she had been caught with her hands in the cookie jar. She glanced at Grace, then at him. “Hello, Grace. Hello, Jesse.”

“What are you doing here?” Grace asked bluntly. It sounded a bit like an accusation, but considering the conversation they had had in the shop earlier, he expected it. Grace was wary of Lucie.

Lucie sighed, and managed a smile. She wasn’t wearing a hat nor gloves, and he suspected she had been waiting for them. He glowed inside. She came to see him. Which excuse would she use today? He bit his lip expectantly, amused.

“I had to run an errand for… for aunt Cecy,” she mumbled, clutching her hands nervously. “She needed something to do something, I guess.”

Grace wasn’t convinced at all, but she let her go. “See you next time,” she just said, then gazed up at Jesse one last time before leaving them alone.

Once Grace was out of sight and out of earshot, Lucie advanced. She offered him her best smile, which he exchanged with one of his own.

“Nice excuse you’ve got here, huh,” he said.

“Was it that obvious?”

“She already knows, Lucie,” he revealed, to which Lucie just nodded. “You know that Anna took me shopping today,” he changed the topic quickly. He opened his arms, and she hurried to him and put her hands behind his back, and her head on his chest. He closed her in an embrace, and interlaced his fingers behind her neck.

“Did you buy a lot of things?” she asked excitedly. “I can’t wait to see you in one of the suits you bought with Anna.”

“You will see them soon enough, I think. Isn’t there a party next week? At the London Institute?”

“Is it?” she glanced up. “I didn’t. Why has no one notified me?”

“Do not sound so angry,” he chided, a smile dancing on his lips. “No one knows.”

“Are you teasing me, Jesse Blackthorn?” she raised an eyebrow.

“Yes,” he admitted. “I have something for you,” he said, and produced a small pouch from his pocket. “Here.”

Lucie examined it, and then looked inside. There was a silver comb with a butterfly decoration in it. “It’s precious,” she told him. Unable to hide her joy, she hugged him again, this time more tightly than before. “I really like it.”

“I’m glad,” he remarked, caressing the back of her neck. “I had to make up for the one I couldn’t retrieve from Chiswick.”

“Nevermind about that. I like this one more,” she said, and raised her head so that he could kiss her.

Someone cleared their voice, and they separated. It wasn’t a secret that they were together… to most. But probably, not everyone had caught up.

“Does Will know about this?” Gabriel asked, but they could tell he wasn’t serious, just curious. And he was smiling.

“Come on, Gabriel. Leave them alone,” Cecily intervened, taking her husband’s arm to lead him away, winking at them. “They were just embracing.”

“He will know next week,” Jesse said, making Gabriel and Cecily stop in their tracks. “That I plan to spend the rest of my life with Lucie, however long that might be.”

Lucie opened her mouth in surprise, and looked at him. “Jesse, are you...”

“Yes. Are you?”

“Undoubtedly, yes!” she exclaimed, embracing him again.

“Did he just propose to her or it’s my impression?” Gabriel wondered out loud.

“He did. Yes, he sure did,” Cecily said, and dragged a blabbering Gabriel away, while Jesse basked in his own happiness with Lucie, and he felt alive.

Taglist (if you want to be added or removed, send me a PM): @princesslucinda @kit-12 @immortal-enemies @lucian-evander @esa-emery @danieldyers @blackthorn-trash @rinadragomir @fortunesandfables @itsdaughterofthemoon @silvenys@thomastair3 @livvyheronstairs @ holding-infinity-and-a-book @lovelaces @axoloteca @autumnangel20 @cordelia-cardale @lucie-blackthorns

#tsc #tlh #jesse blackthorn #gabriel lightwood #thomas lightwood #lucie herondale #anna lightwood #grace blackthorn #tsc fanfiction #blackdale #chain of iron #the last hours #the shadowhunter chronicles #tweety.writes

[ibijau]

Futures past pt3 / On AO3

Nie Huaisang meets a potential new friend, all thanks to Lan Xichen

The Cloud Recesses were impossibly boring and extraordinarily fun at the same time, Nie Huaisang decided roughly a week into his stay there.

The boring part was the lectures, of course. He frequently fell asleep during those, drawing the ire of Lan Qiren… and apparently asking that the old man speak in a more lively manner was not the right reaction to being caught like that. Nie Huaisang had already been punished to copy Gusu Lan’s rules a few times in just those first few days. It didn’t bother him too much. If anything, he counted that as part of the fun. Back at home being punished meant running around the courtyard a hundred times, or carrying heavy buckets, or some awful boring thing like this. 

Copying rules, by contrast, wasn’t so bad, especially after the first few times. Once Nie Huaisang knew them well enough, he stopped paying attention to the words and was free to focus entirely on his calligraphy skills. After a year of this, he was sure he’d have the best handwriting in the world, which he felt was more important than whatever Lan Qiren actually intended to teach him.

Other fun things to do included fishing (technically forbidden), catching birds (forbidden), exploring the back hills (forbidden), and chatting with other bored people outside of class (tolerated, though Nie Huaisang’s loud laughter was forbidden). Nie Huaisang had already found several places he couldn’t wait to paint, as soon as he found a way to escape punishment for a day. The light just wasn’t good enough for it when he went into the back hills too late, so that was a concern, but he was sure he’d manage sooner or later. He just needed to figure out how to fall asleep inconspicuously, and that would solve most of his problems.

During the middle of his second week, Nie Huaisang finally managed to go through a full day without getting scolded at all. It was, in all honesty, not thanks to anything he had personally done. But Jin Zixun had been particularly unbearable that day, attracting all the attention of the substitute teacher, who’d had to replace Lan Qiren at the last moment because sect business had needed urgent care. So Jin Zixun had been the one punished, and he’d made such a huge deal of it that very little teaching had happened after that, meaning that Nie Huaisang hadn’t had a chance to get in trouble as well.

When the bell rang to signal the end of the lectures for the day, Nie Huaisang ran (forbidden) to the little house he shared with the other Nie and hurriedly grabbed all his painting equipment, eager to make good use of the lovely light they had that day. He then made his way toward the back hills, only to hear his name called out just as he was about to leave the last set of buildings behind him.

He turned around, saw Lan Xichen walking his way, and almost cursed. So much for his much desired painting session.

“Were you going somewhere, Nie gongzi?” Lan Xichen asked. Noticing the painting equipment, he smiled indulgently. “Oh, I see. The light is truly lovely for it today. Are you going to the Plenitude Creek?”

“I don’t know if it has a name,” Nie Huaisang replied. “But there’s a nice little clearing when you follow the river long enough, and from there there’s a lovely view of the mountains.”

Lan Xichen nodded. “I think I see the place you mean, and it is quite nice as well. But if you would allow me, I really think you might enjoy the Plenitude Creek. It is hard to find when you don’t know where it is though, so I could guide you there. It’s not far at all, and I believe you might enjoy it as a subject.”

It was very tempting to refuse, if only because Nie Huaisang already had a plan, and he wasn’t sure at all when he’d get another chance to do as he pleased. At the same time, his future self had insisted on the need to be on good terms with Lan Xichen, hadn’t he? And everyone said that Lan Xichen was a very skilled artist already in spite of his youth, so he would know how to spot a nice scenery.

“If Lan gongzi has time to waste on me, I’ll gladly take this offer,” Nie Huaisang said. “Please lead the way.”

Lan Xichen did just that, careful to match his pace to Nie Huaisang’s, just like he had during that tour of the Cloud Recesses a while ago. It really was considerate of him, and Nie Huaisang appreciated it more than he should have. He was used to trailing behind others because he just couldn’t make the effort of walking fast enough, so having his speed taken into account for once was nice. On the down side, it felt quite awkward to be side by side like this in silence. It was probably fine for Lan Xichen, because Gusu Lan preferred the quiet, but Nie Huaisang didn’t like to be around others and not chat. Silence was only for birdwatching, or when he focused on something for once.

“I’m surprised you’re not scolding me for this,” Nie Huaisang said after a while, only to immediately want to slap himself. It was such a stupid thing to say, only made worse when he opened his mouth to add: “Your uncle gave us all that homework to do, I probably shouldn’t be thinking of painting. Da-ge would surely be scolding me. Poor da-ge, he lost the didi lottery, and you won it.”

“I’m sure he doesn’t think that at all,” Lan Xichen objected.

“Oh, he does. He told me as much. I almost forgot my sabre at home when preparing to come here, you see, and he got angry, and he said Wangji would never be such an embarrassment, and how I need to grow up already and all that. But the way I see it, it’s not my fault. I think your brother stole all the accomplishments there were to be had in my age group, so of course I was left with nothing at all.”

“Now you’re unfair to yourself,” Lan Xichen scolded, his voice oddly detached all of a sudden. “I’m sure… I’m quite sure Nie gongzi is skilled at many things, and just needs the chance to show it off.”

Surprised to hear something that very nearly sounded like a compliment, Nie Huaisang pondered a moment on that as they followed along the path.

“No, I don’t think I have any skill at all,” he decided at last.

Lan Xichen frowned, and motioned for Nie Huaisang to leave the path with him.

“The other day, you said your father used to compliment your ear for music,” Lan Xichen noted. “And you paint, don’t you?”

“Oh, very poorly. It’s just something I do because it’s fun. If you were to see it…”

“I would like to.”

Off the path, the ground was rougher, with roots everywhere. Nie Huaisang told himself that he tripped for that reason alone, and not at all because the request surprised him so much. Lan Xichen caught him before he could really fall, but that just made it worse, and Nie Huaisang quickly pulled away, puzzled by that sudden goodwill. Lan Xichen had never taken notice of him before, or only to nod along when Nie Mingjue scolded his unruly little brother in his presence, so why the change?

“Did da-ge ask you to keep an eye on me?” Nie Huaisang bluntly asked. “Is this… are you just going to lecture me, or to take me somewhere to meditate instead of paint?”

His brother used to do both, when he was younger. He would agree to take Nie Huaisang out to admire a landscape, then turn their outing into a cultivation lesson, or make him meditate in a place that was supposed to be particularly rich in energy. Over time Nie Huaisang had learned to run the opposite direction if his brother offered to go for a walk, and apparently he might need to do the same with Lan Xichen.

“Of course he asked me to look after you,” Lan Xichen said, looking puzzled. “He is your brother and I am his friend. But I really just want to show you a place I think you’d enjoy to…”

“That’s what da-ge would say too,” Nie Huaisang retorted, deeply annoyed now. “Thanks, but no thanks. Have your own fun meditating, Lan gongzi, but I have better things to do!”

Nie Huaisang bolted away, running as fast as he could in what he vaguely believed was the direction from which they had come from. He thought he heard Lan Xichen calling his name after the initial surprise had passed, but the older boy made no effort to run after him. Possibly because it would have been undignified for someone as elegant as Lan Xichen to run, and also because it might have been against one of those rules that Nie Huaisang still couldn’t be bothered to remember. Nie Huaisang, meanwhile, was only concerned about getting away from this heinous trap. 

He ran until he found the path again. Then, fearful that he’d be too easy to find if he returned to the Cloud Recesses or followed the path deeper into the mountain, he decided to keep running into the woods on the other side of that path, and find a quiet spot where to wait. If Lan Xichen was anything like Nie Mingjue, it might take him a shichen or more to accept that Nie Huaisang wouldn’t be so easily manipulated into behaving.

Worried about being pursued and forced to study, Nie Huaisang kept glancing behind as he ran. That was how he only noticed too late that he’d stumbled into a clearing, one in which there was already a person present.

To be precise, he discovered this other person due to running into them at full speed, causing both of them to fall on the ground. Nie Huaisang initially counted himself lucky, since he’d fallen on top of the stranger, but that sentiment didn’t last long when he was roughly pushed aside, knocking the breath out of him.

“Can’t you watch where you’re going?” the other person snapped as he sat up. “Look at that, I’ve got grass stains now!”

It was a boy roughly Nie Huaisang’s own age, dressed all in white… or in robes that were originally white, anyway. A Lan disciple then, but not a member of the Lan clan: the ribbon on his forehead wasn’t embroidered, marking him as an outer disciple.

“Sorry, I was trying to escape,” Nie Huaisang said, sitting up as well and rubbing his back. “If you want, you can blame me for the robes, just as long as you don’t tell Lan Xichen you saw me if he comes here.”

The Lan disciple squinted at him unhappily.

“What did you do to Lan gongzi?”

“Nothing! He was the one trying to trick me, so of course I had to escape!”

The Lan disciple squinted harder, unconvinced.

“Lan gongzi is too boring to even think of tricking anyone, you must have misunderstood.”

Nie Huaisang gasped, delighted that finally someone else also realised Lan Xichen was so very boring. Delight, though, soon gave way to guilt and a little bit of shame.

Whatever defects Lan Xichen had, his personality was honest and straightforward. If he had wanted to lecture Nie Huaisang, he would have said so, just as he wouldn’t have lied if he thought he knew a place where meditation would be more effective. Someone like him just didn't have the imagination needed for trickery. Which meant that Lan Xichen had probably really just meant to show him a nice scenery to paint. Which, in turn, meant that Nie Huaisang had just behaved in an impossibly rude manner toward the person he was supposed to befriend if he wanted to save his brother.

"You're not going to tell anyone?" the Lan boy asked, his face contorted with terror. "I shouldn't have said that about Lan gongzi, please don't…" 

"Don't worry, I think he's boring too," Nie Huaisang distractedly retorted, waving his hand. "But damn, even someone with as little personality as him might take offence… ah, what a bother." 

The Lan disciple squinted at him. 

"Who are you exactly, to speak like that of Lan gongzi?" 

Nie Huaisang winced. There was a rule against rudeness, he vaguely remembered, and maybe also one against disrespecting one's host. 

"I'm Nie Huaisang. And you are?" 

The Lan boy frowned, then paled and bowed deeply before Nie Huaisang. 

"This humble one apologises for not recognising Nie gongzi. This humble one begs for forgiveness, and…" 

"Please don't bow," Nie Huaisang complained. "It's not necessary. And don't worry, I'm not important, so nobody ever recognises me. Listen, just don't tell anyone I was running, and I won't tell anyone that you…" he hesitated, and waved his hand toward the other boy. "That you have an actual personality, unlike everyone here. Actually, I think it’s nice!”

The Lan disciple winced, and remained bowed until Nie Huaisang grabbed him by the elbows and forced him to stand straight again.

“There, no need to be so formal! What’s your name, by the way?”

The other boy hesitated a moment longer than was truly polite, and glared down at his feet when he finally answered.

“I’m Su She. I am a disciple of Gusu Lan and… and I should report both of us for punishment for being rude about Lan gongzi.”

“But you won’t do that, right?” Nie Huaisang begged. “Please, you’re the first Gusu Lan person I’ve met that sounds even a little cool, please don’t ruin it?”

Su She hesitated, which Nie Huaisang took as an excellent sign. So far, he’d never seen any Gusu Lan disciple even consider breaking their precious rules. Then again, they usually always moved in groups, meaning they couldn’t be properly negotiated with.

“I suppose I can let it slide for this time,” Su She pondered. “And you really won’t tell that I was… not perfectly polite either, right? I’m doing my best, but apparently I have a bad temperament.”

“I think you’re just fine,” Nie Huaisang replied, feeling very generous now that he was certain not to be punished. “But why are you here anyway?” he asked, before noticing a book of sword forms carefully laid on the ground which they’d very nearly fallen on earlier, as well as a training sword, the sort that wouldn’t even cut through congee. “Oh, were you practising?”

It was an odd place for it, Nie Huaisang thought, because Gusu Lan had a few perfectly fine training grounds, where seniors were usually hanging out and could provide help and advice to improve one’s posture. But maybe those same seniors were the reason why Su She didn’t want to practice on the training grounds. If his personality was judged unpleasant, or if his skill was deemed insufficient… Nie Huaisang understood that too well, having the same problem. Even on those occasional moments when he’d considered training for real, he’d ended up discouraged when he’d felt everyone judging him for his low level.

“I prefer to be on my own,” Su She announced, before quickly adding: “Not that… not that Nie gongzi is bothering me of course. You can stay if you want.”

The offer sounded so forced that Nie Huaisang snorted. “I might stay,” he said, mostly to tease, and Su She looked as if he’d bitten into a lemon. “Oh, don’t worry, even if you were the worst swordsman in the world I wouldn’t judge. No matter your level, I’m worse than you.”

“I’m not that bad,” Su She proudly retorted, bending down to pick up his sword. “Just because I’m not as good as those who were born in the sect… but I didn’t start cultivating until four years ago, and my parents are… well, I’d never picked up a sword until they tried to get me into a sect, that’s the only reason I’m a little behind.”

Nie Huaisang nodded. “Those born in sects or from a rogue cultivator have a bit of an advantage.”

“A lot, you mean!” Su She snapped, before taking a deep breath and making himself smile. “But that just means I have to work harder to catch up, and of course I’m grateful that I was allowed to join at all.” He glanced at the manual on the ground, then at Nie Huaisang. “Are you really going to watch me? I… I don’t do as well when someone watches me.”

“I’m just going to sit here,” Nie Huaisang replied after some consideration. “I promise not to look too much. But if I go back right now, then I might stumble upon Lan gongzi, and I’ll have to apologize, and… I just don’t feel like doing that right now.”

To show how little he would be watching, Nie Huaisang sat against a tree so that he’d have to look over his shoulder to see the clearing. Su She glared at him for a while, unhappy with this arrangement, but in the end he gave in and resumed practicing.

At first, Nie Huaisang really tried to respect the other boy’s shyness. He looked just anywhere but toward Su She, wondering how angry Lan Xichen might be (not much, he’d need a personality for that), whether this place might inspire him to paint (not particularly, there wasn’t anything striking to it) or if he might see some birds (he wouldn’t, Su She was scaring them away). All too soon, Nie Huaisang became bored, and decided to check just how bad his new friend was, anyway.

Turning around to look, Nie Huaisang was surprised to discover that Su She was, in fact, very decent with a sword. His posture was good enough that even Nie Mingjue wouldn’t have found much to criticise, he had good balance, his movements were measured and elegant while still demonstrating strength. For someone not born in a sect, Su She was pretty good. Even if he had been born among cultivators, his level would have been more than decent. Nie Huaisang had expected so much worse, and ended up watching the other boy until he was finished with his set of exercises

Su She frowned deeply when he realised he’d been watched, and sheathed his sword with an angry movement.

“I know I’m not good enough yet,” he grumbled. “I’m trying.”

“I think you’re doing very well,” Nie Huaisang said.

“Not as good as Lan gongzi and Lan er-gongzi, though.”

Nie Huaisang snorted and shrugged. “Well, you’ve got to be realistic. They’re on equal footing with adults, those two. I’ve seen Lan gongzi spar with my brother and they often come to a draw, and da-ge is a damn monster.”

Su She’s frown only deepened.

“Someday, I’ll be that good. Better, even. I’m going to catch up and I’ll show everyone!” Su She proclaimed.

Having no ambition whatsoever, save maybe to collect as many pretty things as possible and try to make sure his brother didn’t die too soon, Nie Huaisang found this need to prove oneself a little odd. Still, it seemed to be important for Su She, and Nie Huaisang had decided he liked this weird Lan disciple.

“I’m sure you’ll show them, yeah,” he cheerfully agreed. “If you’re already as good as this with a sword, it’s just a matter of time. How do you do with other subjects? Music and archery?”

Su She grimaced, and bent down to pick up his manual, avoiding Nie Huaisang's eyes when he stood up again and checked the book hadn't been dirtied.

“I got into Gusu Lan because my music skills were judged passable enough,” he muttered. “But that’s all I had for myself. And there’s only so much time in a day, and the sword is more important, everyone says so, and… I don’t have time to practice archery outside of classes, so my skill remains very poor. There’s just a lot to learn, I can’t work on everything at once!”

“It’s really too much to ask,” Nie Huaisang agreed, as if he hadn’t given up on trying years ago. “I’m curious to hear you play the guqin now, though. Saying someone is ‘passable enough’ in the Cloud Recesses, that’s saying they have out of this world talent by anyone else’s standards.”

“You’re mocking me!”

“I’m not! Oh, do you know any fun pieces? I mostly only hear such boring things…”

“Melodies for the guqin are meant to be slow and reflective,” Su She dryly informed him. “But… I play the dizi too, and there are less… formal pieces of music for that. My younger siblings liked it, anyway, and they're too young to care about real music.”

“Great! Then you’re going to play for me!” Nie Huaisang decided, grinning so triumphantly he didn’t notice the other boy’s grimace. “Oh, but it’s getting late, I should head back… I really don’t want to be late for dinner. If I have to copy the stupid rules another time, my wrist will fall off. Let's walk together?”

Su She rolled his eyes, but didn’t make any comment, even though Nie Huaisang was sure that another less interesting Lan disciple would have scolded him for not showing proper respect to the rules.

He was so glad the two of them had met. Surely, this was the beginning of a beautiful friendship, and one far more interesting than the one he was supposed to pursue with Lan Xichen.

#xisang #nie huaisang #lan xichen #su she #mo dao zu shi #mdzs #jau writes #double time travel #lan xichen is just going to love this new development :)

[greenbergsays]

So, if you happen to follow me on Twitter, you will know that I very impulsively obtained a digital piano last week, and now I’m teaching myself how to play it

My dad and his family are very musically oriented and he and his brother both have played the piano for as long as I can remember

I used to be able to read music, but I forgot how, and I used to know how to play the flute and the saxophone. Also forgot how.

But I’ve always, always wanted to learn the piano and I tried teaching myself a few years ago with this cheap lil keyboard but I guess the stars hadn’t aligned or whatever, because I learned basically nothing. I’ve learned more in the past week than I ever did with that thing.

ANYWAYS. I’m telling you this because when I told Father, he very happily offered to tutor me and I was very dubious about this bc my dad is one of those smart people that doesn’t understand why you don’t understand This Concept when he explained it so simply! (not)

Cue flashbacks to him trying to teach me Math DDD:

But we FaceTimed tonight and had our first lesson and I’m very pleasantly surprised to report that he was helpful, informative, and patient

I think the old age is getting to him~

#rl shit #idk why i felt the need to blab about this #i just wanted to talk about something good that happened today #because my work wife left me today #she got a new job and i will miss her #my brain isn't processing the fact that she will no longer be there and it's causing sadness and stress

[riversofmars]

Hi there!! I just want to say that I love your writing so much <3 and I have a prompt if you want one? Some hurt/comfort for River/13 where one of them gets hurt during one of their adventures and the other one looks after them ??

Thank you for two brilliant prompts! I haven't done hurt/comfort in a while so this was good! Plus, love the idea of exploring more things that were implied but not actually shows in canon (got another fic brewing for that as well but more on that another time!). Anyway, I decided to do a follow up from Companion Piece and River getting home to Luna University, shortly before heading off to the Library. You don't have to know Companion Piece to follow this though, it's all self-explanatory. Turned out more emotional and angsty than planned but I hope you like it! <3

Rating: G

Word Count: 2700

Read on AO3 or below

Every Second, For Eternity

“There we go…“ River sighed, exhausted. “Last one…“ She closed the door of the type 70 TARDIS she had borrowed. Well, borrowed implied she would return it, she had no intention of doing that. Stolen, maybe? Probably more accurate… but then, was it really stealing if the owner had no use of it anymore? The Clocksmith was dead and the Nine had stolen it himself, so River considered keeping it fair game. Particularly since the Nine had done God knows what to her Vortex Manipulator.

“Home, I think…“ She mumbled into the silence of the control room. The TARDIS was certainly not as responsive as the Doctor’s but she still considered it alive and worth talking to. Particularly since she had no-one else to converse with now. She missed them already, all the Doctor’s lovely friends and companions she had had the brief pleasure of meeting. Being able to put faces to names had been a delight but they all needed returning to their time periods before the timelines took damage.

“Does feel like a bit of a farewell tour, doesn’t it…?“ River slowly worked the controls and launched into the vortex. Perhaps it was the aftereffects of the torture the Nine had put her through, but she thought, for the first time in her life, she could feel her age in her bones.

I feel like I’m almost at the end now… They had been her own words and they hit home. She had gotten a sense of it when she had been in the Matrix and spoken to the Doctor, a Doctor that didn’t even know her… No matter where and when they were in their timeline, no matter which face they wore, she loved them all the same. Another adventure, running with the Doctor, ticked off the list. How many more adventures did she have left in her? She couldn’t be sure. Her body was starting to ache all over as the last traces of adrenaline wore off.

“Now, you don’t go anywhere…“ She told the TARDIS as they landed and slowly made her way to the door. Exhaustion was taking her over. She couldn’t remember the last time she had slept… Must have been in that hotel in Stagmore where she’d bolted early upon the Doctor’s arrival and forgot to pay her bill. Mustn’t forget to transfer some money , she thought to herself, hoping she could remember the correct temporal coordinates.

The TARDIS’s door opened to the familiar surroundings of her flat on the Luna University campus. Home at last. Or the closest thing to it, anyway, when your real home was out among the stars, travelling, doing whatever the hell they wanted… One of them was probably just collecting his friend from a space station, or so she hoped. Not everyone had wanted a lift home from the space station the Nine had kept them captive in. Only an insane kleptomaniac would attempt to make a collection of the Doctor’s companions…

“Nice cabinet.“ A voice greeted her and River looked up, surprised, but only for a moment.

“Oh, you know, actually working chameleon circuit…“ River smiled softly as she regarded the woman leaning against a TARDIS of her own. Fortunately, River’s living room was rather large to accommodate the Clocksmith’s TARDIS and that of her spouse.

“Hello, River.“ The Doctor replied, pushing herself off the blue box.

“Hello, Doctor.“ River hummed, delighted but exhausted as well. She tried her best to sound upbeat as she teased: “Did you get yourself a chameleon circuit of your own or has the universe finally answered my prayers?“

“You like it?“ The Doctor grinned, taking a twirl, and River chuckled:

“Like is not the word…“ She winked and was going to saunter towards her but she found herself stumbling. She grabbed onto the couch for support. Her legs were about to give way.

“River, are you okay?“ The Doctor’s face fell when she realised something was wrong. She rushed forward and put her arm around her wife’s waist, steadying her.

“I’ll be fine in a minute…“ River took a deep breath. She didn’t like to show weakness, not even in front of the Doctor, but her body was betraying her. She had underestimated the toll recent events had taken. She had been to Gallifrey, faced off against renegade Time Lords, been drawn into the Matrix, cast out into the Vortex, and all that just to be kidnapped and tortured for information on the Doctor’s friends… it had been quite the adventure… Slowly, she was beginning to realise how much her body ached all over.

“I don’t think so, what happened to you?“ The Doctor sensed that something was very wrong. She pulled her sonic from her pocket and scanned her wife. Her eyes widened in alarm. “Your muscles, your joints, every cell in your body, good God, River, what happened to you?“ She exclaimed and the momentary panic in her voice made River realise the seriousness of her situation. It was as if all the muscles in her body had fallen asleep and were waking up with pins and needles, very very sharp, painful needles.

“The Nine really knows how to take the fun out of torture…“ River winced, she needed to sit down.

“The Nine?“ The Doctor echoed confused and concerned. She helped her around the sofa and to sit down.

“Ah, well, good to know I wiped everyone’s memory properly… and the girls kept my secret.“ River chuckled despite her discomfort. The fact that the Doctor didn’t know about her encounter with the Nine meant she hadn’t endangered the timeline and everything had worked out just fine… apart from the piercing pain she was in.

“The Nine… you mean when he was kidnapping my old companions? You were there too?“ The Doctor realised what she was talking about. These events had been lifetimes ago and she had only been told about them in retrospect.

“Jaime, Bliss, Charly, Ramona… Leela, now, let me tell you, wiping her memory was a challenge I enjoyed…“ River gave a chuckle but ended up wincing. “Returned them all to the right time and place… I take it you picked up Liv and Helen? Were they okay in the end?“

“Yeah I got them, they were fine.“ The Doctor nodded and River smiled:

“That’s alright then…“

“Whatever you were doing, you wore yourself out.“ The Doctor said, brushing her wife’s frizzy hair back.

“You’d be exhausted too if you’d had to get hallucinogenic lipstick on all your companions’ lips… you collect them like strays…“ River smirked, teasingly.

“River!“ The Doctor exclaimed but River shushed her:

“Fine, fine, that wasn’t really a hardship, more likely the Nine’s delightful torture machine has taken more of a toll than I realised…“ She trembled, she could hardly move but tried her best to put on a brave face.

“Oh River…“ The Doctor’s heart broke at the sight of her and she gathered her into her arms.

“I’ll be fine…“ River retorted weakly but she didn’t resist the caring gesture. It felt good to be held, to be close to her.

“You helped save them all…“ The Doctor mumbled and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Thank you.“

“Well, I was largely responsible for them being there in the first place… I had to give him some names… just made sure they were the right ones to stage a breakout.“ River explained weakly. She winced as she tried to get more comfortable.

“Very resourceful.“ The Doctor nodded approvingly and River smiled too:

“Yes, they are. Your friends.“ An unbidden sob escaped her throat.

“River…“ the Doctor’s voice was full of concern and she scanned her again. “Let’s get you to bed…“ She suggested and helped her up. She needed rest. There wasn’t much to be done. Her body needed to recover from the trauma, like sore muscles after intense exercise but infinitely worse. The fact that River didn’t protest made her realise just how much pain she was in. Under normal circumstances, she never would allow herself to be told what to do.

The Doctor helped her up and supported her as they slowly made their way into the adjourning bedroom. The Doctor only briefly registered the pictures on her bedside table: Photos of her parents, her adoptive brother, and one of them, together, at the Singing Towers. The Doctor smiled at the memory of happier times as she helped River into bed.

“I’ll be right back.“ She assured her wife and went into the bathroom, only to return with a glass of water and a wet flannel.

“Do you remember it?“ River mumbled as the Doctor kicked off her boots and climbed onto the bed next to her wife. She placed the flannel on her head and pressed the glass to her lips, encouraging her to drink.

“Remember what?“ She asked softly, brushing River’s hair back that was sticking to her brow with sweat.

“What I said in the Matrix.“ River answered before taking a sip of water.

“I didn’t use to remember, too much interference in there… I didn’t remember it for a long time after…“ The Doctor admitted, searching her mind for the memory.

“Funny… so that wasn’t your first meeting with me either…“ River mused as the Doctor placed the glass on the bedside table. “Every time I meet one of your younger selves, I wonder itf that’s it, the first time, for you…“ She carried on to explain, watching her through heavy eyelids.

“You know which ones of my faces you can be honest to…“ The Doctor replied and sat up against the headboard.

“I do… but then, I also know you lie, so…“ River managed a half-smile and rested her head on her wife’s lap.

“I remember it now, looking back, all those times we met but I didn’t know who you were… I remember it now.“ The Doctor smiled, hoping to distract her from the pain she could so clearly see painted on her face.

“In the Matrix, when we exchanged places… it’s a funny old place, isn’t it, the Matrix and the Vortex… makes you see things…“ River hummed thoughtfully, trying to recall the events as best as she could.

“River, you’re exhausted, you need to rest…“ The Doctor tried to soothe her but River felt the need to keep talking, to work this out for herself, before she could think about closing her eyes.

“I could feel it… like I was almost at my destination… I thought that was it, genuinely, that I would die there and if not there, soon…“ She couldn’t quite explain it, how she had known, but she could feel her journey coming to an end.

“You’re safe now.“ The Doctor stroked her hair, hoping he would drop off into sleep and not face more emotional upheaval. She had to focus on getting well.

“I always feel safe with you…“ River smiled and forced her eyes to open properly, to be able to look up at her. “How much time have we got left?“ She asked the most burning question on her mind.

“We’re time travellers River, time is for other people…“ The Doctor replied, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

“Doctor…“ River protested weakly.

“How many seconds in eternity?“ The Doctor retorted airily. River was in no condition to be having this conversation.

“Says the immortal…“ River huffed. “I can feel it, Doctor, my time is running out… I saw that there was a fixed point, something I’m heading towards…“ It was an unsettling thought that wouldn't allow her to rest.

“River, you really ought to get some sleep…“ The Doctor instead but she wasn’t having it.

“This isn’t it, is it? The last time?“ River’s voice was distraught and weakening. “I used to think Darillium would be the end…“

“That was one hell of a night…“ The Doctor interrupted softly.

“It really was…“ River smiled at the memory of it. “You won’t leave, will you? If I fall asleep…“ She was struggling to keep her eyes open now but she didn’t want to go to sleep. She didn’t want to wake up alone as she had done so many times.

“Someone’s got to look after you…“ The Doctor smiled, she had no intention of leaving her until she was sure her wife would be okay. “And you’re not gonna die, now, either. As if the Nine could take credit for that. No. I know that for a fact, you have adventures to go on yet.“ She kissed the top of her head again and adjusted the flannel.

“That’s good to know… Mind you, there is this place I’ve been meaning to go…“ River hummed, feeling a little more relaxed.

“Yeah? Where is that?“ The Doctor asked, hoping to help her focus on something positive, something to look forward to.

“Biggest Library in the universe… I’ve had the invitation to an expedition ages ago and kept putting it off…“ River answered softly.

The Doctor remained quiet, she didn’t know what to say. Either response would feel wrong. If she encouraged her, she would be encouraging her to go to her death, she couldn’t do so with a steady voice, with conviction, she couldn’t bring herself to say it. And at the same time, she couldn’t tell her not to go. She would be endangering causality, damage her own timeline, damage her relationship with River, at worst, destroy it, and she couldn’t allow that to happen. So she remained quiet, her hearts weighing her down on the bed as they grew heavy.

“There’ll be stories there, the stories about us…“ River gave a faint smile.

“I dread to think…“ The Doctor huffed, entangling her fingers in her wife’s hair.

“Why?“

“Stories are just that, they’re stories, they’re not…“ The Doctor broke off. Stories couldn’t compare to reality, much like a consciousness in a computer couldn’t compare to the real person…

“We’re all just stories in the end…“ River threw the Doctor’s own words back at her, knowing she wouldn’t be able to argue with herself. And when she didn’t, she carried one: “And we've had some amazing stories…“ She smiled as she closed her eyes. “We’ve come such a long way… Kovarian, the Silence…“

“I’m so sorry about what they did to you…“ The Doctor interjected softly, her hearts aching at the memory of what had been done to her. River’s childhood had been taken from her.

“It’s not your fault.“ River sighed, shaking her head as much as she could while lying down.

“It happened because of me…“ The Doctor insisted.

“And if it hadn’t, I would have never met you.“ River interrupted weakly. “Every part of my story… I’m grateful, for all of it, every last bit, every detour, every adventure… no matter how terrifying, no matter how painful, even all those times you didn't know me…“

“I’m sorry… for the times I didn’t know you.“ The Doctor sighed. She could only imagine how painful it must have been for River to see that lack of recognition and feeling in her eyes.

“So many first times… and still not the right one.“ River mused, tiptoeing the edge of sleep.

“One day… but not too soon.“ The Doctor mumbled.

“Will I see you there?“ River asked softly.

“Where?“ The Doctor frowned and River hummed:

“The Library?“

“Maybe…“ The Doctor answered, trying her best to keep her emotions out of her voice. “If you invite me…“

“As if you could stay away…“ River whispered, slowly drifting out of consciousness.

“Never when you call.“ The Doctor answered, caressing her cheek as River’s breaths grew more even, deep and slow. She looked exhausted and spent but peaceful nonetheless. River Song was formidable, strong and true. Her journey was nearly at an end and it broke the Doctor’s heart as she held her wife. “I love you.“ She spoke into the silence of the flat. No-one, not even the Doctor knew what the future had in store for them. For all she knew, the universe could end tomorrow or it could stretch out for all eternity… whichever it was, the Doctor knew her love for River Song would pass the test of time. Every second, she would hold her love close, every second, for eternity.

#Doctor Who #fanfiction #prompt #river song #thirteen #thirteenth doctor #space wives #femslash #whump #hurt/comfort #general #yowzah #river x thirteen #river x the doctor #companion piece #angst #mild angst