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sxtvrns · 1 year

Text

to reunite and resolve

🎶 now playing: don’t grow up too fast - grentperez

P: Connor Murphy x Fem!Reader

S: You were the one of the only people he called a friend. He wanted to call you more than that.

W: mentions of drug use, smoking, anxiety, cursing, sexual content, spoilers, short

N: Basing this off of Mike Faist’s Connor Murphy, because his version of Connor the one I envisioned while writing this. Some information is taken from the book adaptation of the musical. In the book, Connor explains that he is some form of LGBTQ+, yet it is never specified; hints of this are being used in this fic. this is super short and kinda shit LMAO

please interact if you enjoy!

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When he first threw that printer in second grade, you were the first thing he saw out of the corner of his eye. Everyone… well, almost everyone, looked at him in horror, screams so loud they could be heard from down the hall, besides Jared Kleinman, who said that the whole facade was so cool.

Some kids ran, some kids took cover, but you stood there with your mouth hanging open, gaze switching between Mrs. G and Connor. And to think the only reason for this was because he didn’t get to be line leader that day.

He couldn’t tell what you thought of him after that. There wasn’t a single thought behind your face that could determine whether you thought he was cool or you thought he was insane. But he resorted to the worst— you thinking he was a crazy maniac who had a breakdown only because he didn’t get what he wanted that day.

But no, that wasn’t the case. He sat down under a tree during recess one day, and you just so happened to be lurking on the other side of it. You peeked out, looking at the book he was reading. “Is that The Little Prince?” You ask, startling him. “Yeah. Why?”

“It was a bit sad, but I liked it. Which part are you on?”

“The part where he dies.”

Awkward.

“I’ve read this book 5 times.”

“So it’s your favourite?” He shrugs. “One of them.” You sit down next to him, eyes skimming over the words on the page. “I don’t like Mrs. G very much. She always finds something wrong in my work and points it out to the class,” you start, staring at Mrs. G who’s talking to a teacher far across the playground. “I don’t think you should do it again, but I thought that was cool.”

“What was cool?”

“When you threw that printer. Was it heavy?” He shakes his head. “You’re strong! That’s even cooler!”

He shuts his book with a quiet thump. “Shouldn’t you be talking to Lily over there? Or… Jane?” You shrug. “I don’t really have a group of friends. I talk to them and we’re friendly with each other, but… they don’t like the things I like. I don’t know– it seems like on some days they don’t like me and then other days they do. Maybe I’m just scared of that.”

“You’re lucky the printer didn’t hit Mrs. G. You’re even luckier you didn’t get in big trouble. I think that you were angry and you didn’t mean to hurt anyone.” He’s surprised by how well you manage to read him. He didn’t even know how he felt himself. It was an overwhelming feeling of rage that any six year old would have when things didn’t go their way, just that he approached it in a way that no one would believe a six year old would be able to do.

“Do you wanna see the books I’m reading later? You can borrow them if you’d like.” Connor looks at you and that stupid hopeful expression on your face, reluctantly nodding. He wasn’t one to turn down a read. He’d gotten sick of the rose hunting prince anyways.

Most kids in your class would rather go for the toys and playmat while the library picked up dust. Connor watched you every time you went to the little library in your room to pick up a book, always leaning over to see what you were reading. You seemed like one of the only avid readers in your class, not dozing off or merely flipping pages for convenience during silent reading. You really took your time in absorbing what was on the pages; sometimes he witnessed you even shed a tear.

From there, the two of you became good friends. Every partner project, you two would pair up. Every gym class, you’d be on the same team. If anything involved pairs, it would always be the two of you together, to the point where people started joking that you two were dating. Of course, you always brushed it off, but Connor seemed to think otherwise.

At the time, he couldn’t put his finger on what exactly he felt about you. He felt safe, happy, content. He also felt compassionate, open, and endearing. But years later, only when he went to Hanover and was in his first relationship, dealing with a multitude of emotional troubles, was when he realized what those feelings were.

Connor’s head rested on Miguel’s chest as he exhaled a puff of smoke. “She read a lot, sometimes I went over to her place, she always stayed by my side even thought she was made fun of, we’d trade lunches–“ He’s cut off by the sound of his friend chuckling. “Wow, you must’ve really liked her.”

“Huh?”

“I mean, I don’t think I’ve heard any guy in our entire school talk about a girl… not sexually.”

“That’s because we were in elementary. I wasn’t perverted.”

“Still, you blabber about her with such purity. Like a girl you really did love, even if you only were in the seventh grade. She seems nice. If you ever find her again, you should introduce her to me.” In the words that Miguel put it in, he was finally able to understand why he got so much more nervous around you. Why he’d scold himself for doing something moronic in front of you, unless that something made you laugh; he’d let out an internal sigh of relief.

Why he tended to defend you if someone teased you. Why he’d freeze up when your arm would brush against his. Why he’d always overthink about what you thought of him, knowing that you’d never leave his side. Instead, he left yours. He could see the hurt in your eyes after he told you he was moving schools and it almost made him want to stay just for you.

But knowing his parents, they wouldn’t understand why he’d change his mind so last minute.

Sometimes he didn’t understand why you stayed by his side. He knew you were somewhat of a fragile person, but watched you desensitize to those comments over the years.

Connor feels guilty talking about an old undetermined crush with a boy he was on indefinite terms with, but Miguel didn’t seem to mind. “I guess I did like her.” He squeezes Miguel’s hand, suddenly overwhelmed with disappointment. “And now I’ll never be able to see her again.”

“Didn’t you say you went to her place for projects and stuff? Couldn’t you pay her a visit?”

“What if she moved?”

Miguel scoffs. “Highly doubt it. What comes here, stays here.”

The suggestion played on loop in Connor’s head every day, even contemplating actually paying a visit. Yet he never owned up to it, until he was expelled and moved to a new school. Again.

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You rest your head on the desk, ignoring the homework reminders being given to the class. You stare blankly at the teacher through your hair, another boy coming into view that you hadn’t seen before.

His hair was brown, curly, and nearly reached his shoulders. He had defining cheekbones and painted nails, dark clothes and a messenger bag. A new student. A new student that you couldn’t help but think looked familiar to you, until you heard his name.

Connor Murphy.

He sat down in front of you, putting his bag to the side and kicking it under his desk. You wanted to talk to him, but it seemed like he didn’t recognize you either. Was it really him? The Connor Murphy who you sat under trees with, reading books and arguing about your favourite characters? The Connor Murphy who barely passed 4th grade?

“Connor…” You mutter a bit too loud, his head turned to side eye you. “What?” He replies, almost aggressively, his stare dark and hardening. You couldn’t believe it was him. But really, how many other Connor Murphy’s could there be in suburban New York?

He begins to turn away until you begin speaking. “Do you still read The Little Prince?” This time, he fully turns to you, eyes wide and no longer dull. “How many times have you read it since I’ve talked to you under that tree?” You smile, and Connor swears his heart stops. Out of pure shock, not attraction.

“Y/N?” He asks, and you nod, his face lighting up with a small smile. “Holy shit…” He sighs, his reaction making you giggle.

You’ve changed. You stopped tying your hair up, you gained a pair of dark circles, and he could just feel maturity radiating from you somehow. At least, you were more mature than he was.

“Um, I don’t really have anyone to hang out with during lunch. Do you wanna catch up then?” You offer, his head tilting. “Why not now? Instead of working on that project of yours.” Your face drops. “There’s a project?” What project was he talking about? Was it– oh, it was the role model one. You finished it already.

“Lucky you don’t have to do it. If we present, we get extra credit. I’m not up for humiliation though.” He turns around fully, and your eyes are drawn to his hands, slim and a bit veiny. He adorned a bracelet and his nail polish was black. He played with his fingers almost nervously, his hands on your desk. “What have you been up to?”

“I picked up guitar. Um, I do some vocal stuff outside of school.”

“Like performances?”

You nod. “Different genres. Jazz, pop, R&B… I’m in a few groups.” He nods. “I didn’t know you could sing.”

“I never showed off when we were younger. I’ve been taking lessons for a while.”

“Maybe you could show me later. Y’know, outside of school.” He quips with a hoping smile. “Are you flirting with me, Murphy?” You ask, leaning forward slightly, his eyes moving from your chest back to your eyes. “Maybe.” You scoff, shoving away his face. “You’re a pervert now?” You laugh, but his smile slowly begins to disappear.

“Oh, I was joking, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that– I mean, no one’s perverted to their childhood best friend right?” You awkwardly laugh while he sighs. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to look at you like that.”

“Like what?”

“Y/N, I was staring at your boobs.”

“Like a pervert?”

“For fuck’s sake, L/N, I am not a pervert.”

“Never said you were.”

You were provoking him. If it was another person doing the same thing, he’d have their head. Thrown something at them or given them a black eye. With you, it was all natural humour and jokes. He could brush it off without the need for bruising. The worst part was that you didn’t know you were aggravating him, with your cheeky smile and mischievous gaze.

Later that day, during lunch, you catch Connor off guard, leaning against a tree in the back of the school grounds where no one was, blowing out smoke. He tended to find solace in places where it was quiet and mostly alone. In high school, it was hard to find that kind of privacy, so you thought he’d be away and in the back where no one hung out, besides the drug dealers and porn magazine sellers.

“You smoke now?” You ask, him inhaling and letting out another puff. “I started a while ago. Keeps me sane.” He pulls it away from his mouth, contemplating. “I was gonna offer you some but, you sing now. I guess that comes in conflict.” How sweet of him to be so considerate. “Yeah. Wouldn’t wanna try it either way.”

You pause for a moment, watching him discard the joint. “How was Hanover?” You ask, a rush of memories overwhelming him all at once. “It was a fresh start. I liked it. I, um, made out with a dude? I don’t know, it was complicated.” You certainly didn’t expect that. “You had a boyfriend, then?”

“I dunno, we never specified on it. Complicated relationship.”

“How about girlfriends?” You hear him scoff. “You really think a guy that went to an all boys school would find a girlfriend?” You shrug, standing beside him. “I thought it was common for all boys and all girls schools to collaborate or host events together.”

“I don’t know if there were any collaborating events. I always skipped. Speaking of skipping, would you like to join me on a trip to Burger King instead of going to fifth and sixth?” You shouldn’t be surprised he’s skipping classes. He always joked about doing so in elementary, yet it never crossed your mind to contemplate if he was actually going to do so. “Unlike you, I actually care about my grades. You can come over if you’d like.”

“After years you still expect me to know the address?” He jokes. “I haven’t moved. I’ll text you.” You pull out your phone, opening your contacts app and letting him type in his number. He set his contact name as ‘C’, with a cigarette emoji next to it. “If you ever call me and that name pops up on my phone while I’m with my dad, he is going to kill me. Thinking I have a dealer or something.”

“Well, if you need anything, you know where to find me.”

You text him the address, not seeing him for the rest of the school day. He frequently skipped classes, except for the classes you two had together. He came over many times, your dad eventually meeting him when he wasn’t rushing out the door for work.

Only… one particular visit caused something to happen with reasons unknown.

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You open the window, lighting some scented candles you found in the closet. Connor looked at his joint, inspecting it carefully, instead tossing it somewhere in his bag rather than lighting it, laying face up on your bed with a sigh.

The first time he was in your room, the first thing he asked was:

“Why the fuck is there sheet music everywhere?”

Which surprised you at first, mostly because you didn’t think he’d know what it was in the first place. He’d always smoke, mostly out the window, and you’d drench your room in air freshener afterwards so your dad wouldn’t know.

Connor was a very touchy person, especially when he was high. Sometimes he’d rest his head on your shoulder, his breath smelling of weed. Or on your lap, where his hair sometimes got trapped between your thighs. A hand on your leg, or on your thigh. You didn’t think of it at first, because it was Connor.

Though he took touchy to an extreme one day.

“Have you kissed anyone yet? Y’know, while I haven’t seen you.” You look up at him from your paper, amused. “Why are you asking?” He shakes his head, turning over and looking at you. “Oh, no, just wondering. So is that a no?” You sigh with a silent laugh. “No, I haven’t kissed anyone, Connor.”

“Really?”

“Mhm.”

“So you’re a virgin, then?”

“Connor, where is this coming from?”

“Do you know about the jocks constantly rambling about all the girls they have sex with?” He ignores your question with another question. “Yeah. It’s fucking annoying.” You scoff with a breathy laugh, taking a sip from your bottle. “You know they talk about you, right?”

You nearly spit out your water, saving the drops that fall from your mouth from falling onto your shorts. “Excuse me?” You say after swallowing. “Yeah. It’s all, ‘Bet 10 bucks I can bang her’ while they point at you. Or they go, ‘Jesus, wonder how much she can take’.”

“So I’m being objectified?” He nods slowly, looking up at you through his messy hair. “Unfortunately, yes. Want me to do something?”

“If it results in you getting suspended, no.”

“You sure? Those guys are dicks.”

“They’ll never believe us without any proof. And your reputation is bad enough already. I don’t want you to fall any more because of me.”

“Y/N, I’ll do anything for you.”

Those words make you pause and reflect. Was he high? No, because he tossed his joint in his bag anywhere. Even then, Connor would never say that for anyone. It seemed so out of character for him that you almost laughed.

“Are you high?”

“What?”

“I know damn well you wouldn’t do anything for anyone.”

“Y/N, I’m serious.” His gaze is stern, dark, and hard but also eager, glossy and hopeful. “I don’t know, maybe it is the weed I smoked twelve hours ago, but you’re really pretty. Sometimes I wonder how I managed to become friends with someone like you.”

“Someone like me?”

“Someone so pretty that doesn’t give a fuck about the fact I do drugs or the shit I’m dealing with. I really like you, Y/N. Always have. You didn’t single me out, you never left my side— you’re the one person in my fucked up life that makes me feel like I belong. That I matter.” Your childhood best friend, who’s now sitting up with a hand on your thigh, just confessed his undying love to you.

And you had to admit, the more you two started to hang out and reconnect, the more you started to develop something of an attraction to him. He never smiled at anyone but you, he didn’t push you away or glare at you; it was like he had a soft spot just for you, and it made you like him even more.

“I hope you aren’t gonna fuck me over. Y’know, if you don’t like me back.” His finger traces patterns on your thigh, the way his hand unknowingly rides up making your brain go haywire. “I’m… I, uh– I’m not.” He looks at you, for some reason, disappointed. “Should’ve known you didn’t. Forget this ever happened, then.”

“No, no! I like you! I really do like you, Connor. You’re charming and handsome and…” You hear him huff out a laugh, his face closing in on yours. “I know no one else thinks of me like that but you. You’re obsessed with me.”

“Could say the same for you, Murphy.”

His head tilts, his nose touching yours. “Wanna kiss you.” He mutters. You simply nod, inviting. “Okay.” You reply. He presses his lips to yours, feeling full and complete the moment you two meet. He can sense your confusion at first, but you managed to learn how to move with him quickly. Perks of being a fast learner.

He hovers on top of you on your bed, admiring you when he pulls away. His eyes shamelessly trail down from your face, to your chest, your stomach, your legs, his face cupped in your hands and pulling him towards you to kiss him again.

His tongue slipped into your mouth, the mood instantly erotic.

His hands are all over you. The back of your head, your shoulders, your waist, your hips, your thighs; he placed them wherever he could push you closer to him. When his mouth follows his hands to descend to your neck, you let out a soft whimper, panicking when you barely catch sight of the door.

“W-Wait.” You pant, nudging Connor for him to move to the side. You scramble off your bed, closing the window and the curtain and turning off the lights, going for the doorknob. “Thought you said your dad wasn’t home.” Connor says as you lock the door. “Never know when he will be.”

When you join him on the bed, his hands at the hem of your shirt, you stop him with a touch on his wrist. “Um, I don’t…”

“Oh, shit, did I go too far? I’m sorry–“

“No, no! I want it, I really do, but… you know...” He realized how nervous you were, remembering you haven’t done anything like this before. He gives you a gentle kiss on your forehead, tucking your hair behind your ear. “You know I have. You trust me?” He asks, giving you doe eyes you’ve never seen before. You nod, emitting a chuckle from him. “Let me take care of you then.”

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Sex was one thing. Having sex with your best friend is another.

It’s either your dad stayed at work all night or he’s in grave danger, given you haven’t heard him scream out of pure horror, then yell at you first thing in the morning. You woke up unbothered, naked, and held by your best friend. Unless this whole thing changed your relationship.

Were you even friends anymore? Was this a friends with benefits thing now? But he practically confessed to you yesterday, unless he was high. But he didn’t smoke anything, and the room doesn’t smell that bad…

One thing is for sure: Connor Murphy knows how to fuck.

Maybe it was the fact that you were a complete virgin or that you did whatever he asked you to, but you swear you could still feel how you felt last night when he was in you.

Your head rests on his arm, wrapping around you and holding you close to him. The ends of his hair touch your own head, and you blow them out of the way. You can feel him move, and he groans, meaning you woke him up. You lean into him more, feeling his fingers lightly brush your side. You feel his head turn, his hair moving from your head.

“Hi.” He says, peering down at you. You look up at him, noticing his gaze. “Hi.”

He plants a kiss on your forehead, his fingers moving to brush through your hair. “I think I passed out after.” You say, hearing him chuckle. “You did. When I came back to clean up, you were nearly snoring.”

“Oh god, I snore?”

“Loudly.”

He notices you going silent, immediately worried. “I was just joking! Well, kind of, you snore, but not loudly. Not like a dad snore.” You giggle into the side of his arm, followed by a brief moment of silence. “What are we now?”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t think friends confess their undying love for each other and tie it off with sex.”

He pauses, hearing quiet hums come from his mouth. “Can I be your boyfriend, then?” He feels you nod against his arm while you hum in response. “Yeah.” You get out from under the covers, going to stand up until a brief pain shoots up your legs.

Memories of the night before suddenly come rushing in. “Fuck those jocks, I’m the only one who can see you like this.” He said, after making a mess of you with only his fingers.

He really fucked you good last night.

You curse under your breath, legs weak as you stare at the scattered clothes on the ground, tossing your own into the laundry basket by your door. You grab a new change, turning around and noticing Connor staring at you the whole time, an expression you can’t make out.

“I was that good? Your legs are shaking.” You roll your eyes and throw his shirt at him after putting on a pair of shorts. “Shut up. A real boyfriend would help me and not make fun of me.” He fake pouts, getting out of bed and putting on his own clothes.

You turn on the TV downstairs, the morning news playing and showing the date as Friday.

Friday.

Shit.

You’re beyond late.

“Turns out there was a gas leak so there’s no school. That works out great for us.” Connor says as if he could read your mind. You hear the garage door open, meaning your dad had just come home from work. He enters the room, seeing both of you standing by the kitchen counter.

“Shouldn’t you two be at school?” Is the first thing your dad says, eyeing both of you. “Cancelled. Gas leak.” You feel Connor’s hand rest at your hip, wanting to swat it away but knowing your dad already saw it just by the look on his face. “Did he use protection? I know you’re on those pills, but–“

“Oh my god, yes, he did, look– can we talk about this later?” Your dad shrugs and nods before heading for the stairs, hearing Connor laugh beside you. “How did he know?” You panic, placing toast on both your plates. “Maybe he saw your legs shaking from there.”

“Shut up.”

“Make me.”

You glare at him, giving him a brief kiss before bringing both your plates to the table. He quite literally does as you say, keeping quiet the entire time he eats his breakfast.

You should do that more often.

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You knew that Connor was a very mischievous person. He always has been.

He’d skip classes, casually threaten people as if it were nothing, smoke weed; he nearly flushed firecrackers down a toilet once. He didn’t go through with it because you told him not to.

He was also mischievous in terms of your relationship.

He let you leave hickeys wherever you saw fit, in places visible and invisible. You were more wary of it. He showed them off proudly; well, not really proudly, he just didn’t mind if people saw or stared at him with hanging jaws. He couldn’t be bothered to cover them— the only time he did care was when his family would point them out.

He’d sneak out and go to your place frequently; he always preferred your house over his, mostly because he felt like he had a parent he could actually tolerate (and love). If your dad were to ever barge in, he’d stare at Connor, then at you, then at Connor’s bag, and ask if he had protection before leaving and closing the door. Connor always said yes.

It was also a convenient reminder for you to lock your door anytime Connor was in your room, since most of the time nights would always end in sex.

You fumbled for your keys to unlock the front door, Connor’s lips on yours when you stumbled inside. You didn’t notice a bunch of men in the living room, including your dad, holding beer bottles and staring at you until you saw them out of the corner of your eye. “Welcome back. How was the party?” Your dad asks, as if he didn’t see the escapade between you and your boyfriend.

“It was shhh– It sucked. Yeah. It sucked. Hi.” You mutter the last part, eyes quickly dashing over everyone who’s attention is taken away from the game on the TV. “Um, we’re just gonna… yeah.” You drag Connor with you out of their sight and upstairs.

“Does he have–“

“Yes!”

You slam your door shut, locking it, seeing Connor visibly nervous. “What’s wrong? Are you okay? Was the party too much?”

“A little bit. And then… your dad’s friends just staring at us. I don’t know– anxiety? This is a stupid thing to be worried about.” You sit down next to him, hugging him while rubbing his back. “Don’t worry about them, okay? They’ve probably done the same when they were younger.”

You feel him sigh into your shoulder, his voice muffled.

“Thank you.”

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don’t grow up too fast. don’t leave me in the past. as long as you never change who you are, i know in your heart i’m never far. 🎧

#connor murphy #connor murphy x reader #dear evan hansen #dear evan hansen musical #mike faist #fanfiction

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jadenlix · 10 months

Text

Close as strangers

Pairing: Lee Felix x AFAB!reader

Summary: your a foreigner in Korea, after studying in Seoul to become a English teacher. You develop social anxiety, no longer aspire to be a teacher, or work in any public job. A job opportunity comes to work within JYPE as a social media manager, making sure the idols post things that won’t cause scandals. But an idol you know, felix has gotten himself into a relationship scandal with fellow JYP idol Yuna. Management decided to damage control by asking you to become a fake partner of felix to take the heat from Yuna.

Genre: Angst

Warnings: strong language. No happy endings at all. Get tissues if your easily hurt by bad endings.

Word count: 7.8K

LIGHTLY edited

21st of January, 2023

Hey, the book that I write in, Today was… interesting…

“You want me to do what?”

You had always been a very secretive person, very private. Not ever interested in being in the public eye or the center of attention. Never took the lift because of people, always took the stairs. So applying for a job in the back lines for the company JYP Entertainment seemed like a good idea at the time. You’d be working more in the promotion side of things, behind the accounts for a few of the artists. Never needing to go out with the artists as staff. Just sat in the office controlling things from there.

And the first few months had been a breeze, you enjoyed your job! You had met a few of the artists around the building here and there, you were even an avid listener of a few of them.

Over the past couple of weeks, you had gotten more work focusing on the group, stray kids, Twitter, and Instagram accounts. Working in close contact with a few of the members with what photos they wanted to post and what to caption them. The guys did have most of the control when it came to it, you were there to make sure it appeared proper and kept their idol image intact.

One member in particular, whom you had worked with loads more than the others and gained a semi-good friendship with, was Bangchan. Though you called him Chris when you weren’t in professional settings. He spoke English fluently and was the friendliest idol you had come across. You had met a few other fluent speakers, but you weren’t that close with them, Chris made you feel like you didn’t have to be anyone you weren’t, and you appreciated that.

You were a foreigner, having moved to Seoul 5 years ago to study. Your ambition started as an English teacher. Though unfortunately, that fell through. Being in a new country with a language barrier made you anxious, so you started staying in more, only leaving for classes until you finished school and decided to work from home.

So you didn’t have much interaction with native speakers as much. Despite knowing a lot of the language, borderline fluent after your years of studying Korean back in England and continuing your studies in South Korea- you were not confident.

Today, the stray kids’ manager called you in to discuss the next thing for you.

In recent events, Felix, a member you also had gotten to know recently was involved in a relationship scandal with fellow Jyp idol Yuna from Itzy. You weren’t too close with Yuna, but you were close to Lia and Ryujin, so you had already heard about this scandal.

“We want you to act as a partner to Felix, you look nothing like Yuna, no one knows who you are, and you’d be perfect for this job”.

Ouch?

Sungho spoke without looking away from his laptop. You would have preferred he spoke to you directly; eye contact would have been nice.

“But I didn’t sign up for this, this wasn’t in the job description” you start, rubbing your thumb against the skin of your other hand nervously, “I don’t think this is a wise choice, can’t you just wait for the rumours to die down?”

He shakes his head “I’m sorry y/n, you are required to do this, or we will have to terminate your contract with us”.

This was beyond fair, given either the choice to be a fake partner to Felix or be fired from the one job you wanted.

You were so sure so many others would be willing to do this, and you probably would have minded doing it either, Felix was beautiful and kind-hearted, but it involved being in the public eye. Which you didn’t want.

You swallow your discomfort, looking up at Sungho again “How long would I need to do this?”

He looked up at you briefly, checking his laptop again, humming when he finds the answer on the document that solidified your new, unwanted task. “Roughly a month, maybe two,” he said once he looked back at you, “until the rumors die down, we can’t have two idol images tarnished, and you’ll be helping with that”

You take a deep breath. Were you seriously considering this?

“Yuna will be heading out with her false partner this evening also, we’re hoping this one night is enough to dial it all down, we’ll just have to see” he continues, though it wasn’t making you feel any better about the situation the company was trying to put you in.

“You get a pay rise” he finally added, and in all fairness, it did make the offer seem more tempting, but you still weren’t happy about the ultimatum you were given.

“If I say yes, when does this whole thing start?” You ask.

“If you say yes now, hair and makeup will prepare you when you leave my office, to prepare for a sighting of you and Felix later tonight”

Your eyes widened tonight?

Perhaps the quicker you say yes, the quicker it’s over and you can go back behind the scenes.

“Okay, ill do it”

-5 hours later -

As promised, a team of make-up and hair professionals came to your aid soon after you met with Sungho. Your hair had been washed thoroughly, probably the most it’s been washed in your life. Not because you didn’t wash your hair, of course you did. Because they used what felt like a million products in your shoulder-length hair.

Your makeup was done in what you called an idol style, accentuating certain features. You felt like an imposter of sorts. Call it imposter syndrome. The stylists had dressed you in a pretty simple white and black Celine tee, pinning the rim of the top under so it was slightly cropped, pairing it with a pair of black baggy cargos, simple yet efficient.

“look at you” that cheesy Australian accent could quite literally never hide from you.

Turning around you glare at Chris. Dressed in basketball shorts and a tank top, you were jealous he was wearing such comfy clothes.

“did you hear about my new line of work?” you ask sarcastically, adjusting your top the best you could without the staff attacking you.

“I did” he laughed, “lix wasn’t too happy about it, thinks it will cause more harm than good”

You nod, you also believed that. You didn’t quite understand how a fake relationship rumor would mute the current one. But you trusted the company. Foolishly.

“I’m surprised you accepted though y/n” Chris spoke, walking with you towards the lounge where Felix was.

“it was either this or lose my job” you sigh, you still couldn’t believe you were doing this. You could barely make it on the train without sweating, and now you had to walk around and go on a fake date with Felix, people following you to take pictures. You didn’t know how you were going to do it.

“They threatened your job?” Chris grabbed your wrist gently, stopping you before he opened the lounge door. “that’s out of order y/n, I’m so sorry” his expression softened as he looked at you.

You valued Chris as a friend. He was always good to come and talk to when you needed it, or if you were feeling especially anxious when on shift. The pair of you exchanged phone numbers around a month ago, he had asked previously but you were nervous about it, so he kindly waited until you were comfortable.

“It’s okay though, I guess it gives me a chance to get out and face my fears or whatever” you shrug, motioning to him that you were ready to go into the lounge.

He nods, stepping ahead of you to open the door for you. “Felix” he called out as the pair of you entered.

There he was, the victim of the latest stupid scandal in K-pop. His long silver/lilac hair was, of course, styled perfectly. A baggy white tee hung loosely on him and a pair of baggy black cargos, that seemed to match yours completed his outfit.

You smiled awkwardly in his direction, “Hello yongbok-ah” You greeted him formally, bowing in his direction. You weren’t nearly as close to Felix compared to Chris so, you usually greeted him like this.

He frowned lightly, waving his hand in dismissal, “god, y/n, no need to be so formal” he stood from the sofa and walked towards you. His eyes watching yours as his hand diverted towards your shoulder. You smile weakly in consent to him touching you.

Since the other members didn’t know you as well as Chris, they were always cautious around you. Chris made sure to inform them of that.

“Since we’re supposed to be together, I don’t expect you to bow or call me by that calling, Felix is just fine” he smiled, rubbing your shoulder gently before retracting his hand, and looking toward Chris.

“so, Mr. Connected-”

Chris rolled his eyes as soon as he heard Felix call him that, groaning playfully.

“-do we look like a couple?” Felix finished, standing beside you.

“Yeah, you kind of do”

“so what are supposed to do, just walk together?” you quickly change the subject, questioning the two of them. You weren’t exactly told what to do. Just told to be in a fake relationship. Did you have to kiss him?!

“They didn’t tell you anything?” Felix exclaimed, his eyebrows raised. He felt bad for you. Someone who had an important position in the company, which is what he viewed it as he had thought they would of at least prepared you. but in his eyes, they had set you up for failure. “they know about your social anxiety right?” he asked, grabbing two pairs of sunglasses from the corner table. Handing you a pair.

“yeah, they do” you sigh, taking the glasses from him. He was sweet, caring, and overall seemed so friendly.

His expression changed slightly into more of a sour look. He was pissed that they hadn’t helped you, or even given you some sort of direction of what to do.

“they want us to hold hands as we walk towards the convenience store, some sort of affection inside the store, and then go somewhere to sit and just look all relationship-like I guess”

Bless him, he tried his best to explain what you had to do without cringing himself, he wanted this less than you by the sounds of it. You started to wonder if this was a good idea. Would it just be easier to cancel it? You could probably find another at-home job.

“y/n” Chris started, looking in your direction “I know what your thinking, no you aren’t quitting” he smiled softly, bringing you into a gentle hug “You got this yeah? Felix will look after you”

You buried your head into Chris’s chest, sighing against him. You didn’t want to do this, you were so unbelievably uncomfortable. You felt tears beginning to sting at the rim of your eyes. Feeling Chris’s hand rubbing your back as you sniffled.

You stayed there for almost 2 minutes, in complete silence. Just Chris holding you and Felix attempting to comfort you by rubbing your shoulder again. You pluck up the courage to pull away, not wanting to ruin any of the makeup the staff had done.

“Just breathe, deep breaths yeah?” Felix cooed, making his way to the door, his smile was warm, inviting almost. You shoot a half smile back at him. At least it was Felix you were made to do this with, could have been worse right?

“Glasses on” Felix reminds you before exiting the car.

You clear your throat as you follow what he said. Flicking them down as you got outside. You spotted a group of girls waiting across the road from the car, probably waiting to catch a glimpse of idols coming and going. It probably looked more obvious that at least one of you was an idol. Sunglasses and a face mask. It appeared obvious. Maybe not for someone walking down the streets, but for you two, it was.

The feeling of your heart began beating harshly against your chest. Your palms felt hot. No one was looking. Eyes were on you, watching every step you took on the pavement. They hadn’t noticed you both yet. Every breath you took the bystanders could see the rise in your chest. Your glasses hid the way your eyes began darting around the street.

Soft skin connected to your hand, the gentleness of the touch made your heart stop for a brief second, allowing it to calm down. You look over towards Felix once you notice he’s pulling you towards a smaller alley, away from the large open road.

Felix had noticed your sudden change in demeanor. So he lead you to a, not so much enclosed area, but a smaller, more intimate alleyway.

You were so shocked by the sudden physical touch and movement, you didn’t move your hand away immediately. Though once you realized what had happened, you remove your hand from his.

“I don’t think I can do this,” you say apprehensively. Your breathing picks up again. Pushing your sunglasses to your head.

Felix copies you, also moving his glasses, “Hey, look at me” he speaks softly, looking directly into your eyes, waiting patiently for yours to meet his. “Y/N look at me”

You look up at him, his eyes kind, expression warm and caring. You were so close together, you could see the individual flecks of bronze that scattered across his face. His brows were relaxed and elegant.

“That’s it, just breathe” he whispers, holding out his hand for you, offering it now instead of taking it straight away. “Focus on my voice, it’s okay, you’re okay, we’re okay”

Your eyes stayed glued to his, but your brain was focused on your breathing. You take his hand without thinking any more about it, receiving a squeeze of encouragement from him. He was truly helping. He was good at this.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be a baby about this” you sigh, your voice was still shaky, but calmer nonetheless.

“Don’t apologize, I’ve been there before and needed help calming down” he reassured you, “and a few of my members have been there also, I’m knowledgeable when it comes to calming others when they panic” his thumb rubs your hand gently. A smile gently appeared on his face. That smile.

You take your hand back. Too much physical contact. “Thank you Felix” Using the pads of your fingers, you dab under your eyes, wiping stray tears away. Looking down the other end of the alleyway, pulling your sunglasses back down over your eyes. “Let’s just get this day over with”

“Okay then, let’s get you some caffeine” he smiles.

The convenience store was luckily very quiet, with only one other customer inside. You stay close by to Felix at all times. Following him to the ice cup chest, he opens it up for you. You grab the green-topped one and wait patiently for Felix to get his so you could grab the pouches together.

“Did you want one of the coffee ones?” he asks, walking with you to the rack.

“Please, the vanilla one if it’s there” you smile, watching as he crouches down to grab yours, looking up to you as he hands it to you, his eyes smiling more than his lips.

“Thankyou”

He nods, grabbing himself a pouch, but you didn’t catch what it was. You’ll ask him when you get out of the store.

“Just these please”

You place your cup and pouch beside Felix’s. Digging into your bag, grabbing your purse out to hand Felix some cash for your things. His hand coming to push yours back into your bag.

“Not, I got this”

You frown, but obey what he said, putting the cash back. Looking around the store as Felix pays, noticing the other person in the store standing a little way back, their phone out and pointing directly at the both of you. You quickly look back at Felix, tapping his arm gently.

“Someone taking a photo or something” you whisper, your eyes fixated on the store clerk, almost manifesting him to move faster. You see Felix turn to look at the person out of the corner of your eye. His arm coming around you, respectfully not touching you completely. Ushering you to the other side of him. He turned to face you more, smiling and thanking the clerk, taking the bag in one hand and his other hand opening the door for you.

“But what about the”

“We’ll do it on our way,” he says, walking with you.

The pair of you ended up deciding to go to the picnic area of Olympic Park. It was close by and just easier. The day had been fairly simple, though you didn’t find yourself talking too much, just listening to Felix. You could tell he was uncomfortable with walking so much about himself and the things he liked. But you appreciated he did it to make you feel more comfortable. The overall day was a whole lot better than you had anticipated.

28th of January 2023

Sorry I haven’t written in a while, but I need to tell you this,

“Hey stranger” Felix greeted you with his smile. He was waiting for you in the lounge like he had last week, only this time Chan hadn’t joined the two of you.

“Hey Felix” you greet him, you were being driven to have a picnic at the cheonggyecheon stream today. Sungho called you a couple of days after your ‘date’ last week. It wasn’t enough, it didn’t attract the attention they wanted. According to him, you had to be more touchy. Which you were, for obvious reasons, not comfortable with. But after a few hours on the phone with Felix, he had reassured you enough to become comfortable. You had both agreed to hold hands and a hug now and again throughout the picnic.

“You look nice” he adds, standing up to meet with you at the door. He a nice too, granted he was just wearing a pair of jeans and a white button-up, no doubt it was designer. He looked expensive. He smelt expensive too. Why were you smelling him?

You adjust your shoulders in a way to shrug off the thoughts, “You don’t look too bad yourself” You smile but it quickly fades in a panic that your compliment wasn’t nearly enough as he was. “I mean you look good too, like I was just-”

“I know what you mean” he chuckles, shaking his head, walking past you to open the door for you once again “Shall we?”

You nod walking out with him towards the exit. The driver waiting for you outside. Just like last week, you and Felix put your sunglasses down as soon as you exit, running straight into the car. Felix made sure to open the door for you before getting in himself on the other side, And sure enough, the picnic basket was inside on the middle seat. At least we didn’t have to pack it ourselves, you think to yourself.

The sun was hot by the time you got to the stream, it wasn’t completely packed, it was empty enough for you to feel comfortable to sit there and eat, but packed enough to make you hyper-aware of people looking. But you figured that was a good thing since people kind of need to see you with Felix. Once you were both out of the car and had found a spot to sit, Felix laid a small blanket near the edge, placing the basket down before holding your hand as you sat down, letting go briefly as he got down, but taking it back once he was sat.

“Is this okay?” he asks, lifting his hands. It was sweet that he wanted to check up on whether you were comfortable. You liked that he always made sure to do so.

“Yes, it’s okay” you smile, rather bashfully. A rose tint develops on your cheeks. Feeling the heat upon your cheeks, you look away. Leaving your hand in his as you use the other to open the basket.

“Oh Onigiri!” you exclaim, removing your hand from his excitedly to take the container out of the basket to show Felix. “I hope they put tuna inside..” you open the container and offer him one. He takes it with a thank you, you take one for yourself before putting the lid back, too hungry to look at the other things. You both collectively bow your heads before taking a bite, silently saying thank you for the meal.

“Oh wow, this is good, I think it is tuna, but I’m not sure” Felix looks at you, waiting to see what you thought. You were still eating though, covering your mouth as you chew a bit faster, nodding your head as a way to respond properly.

“I’m pretty sure it’s tuna teriyaki” you finally speak, looking over at Felix as he takes another bite, watching him intently. You found yourself smiling at how his eyes closed and eyebrows raised, appearing in pleasure. You were glad he was enjoying the food, it was the least he could enjoy since he was forced here.

But he did seemingly enjoy hanging out with you, whether it was forced or not. You smile awkwardly when he turns to look at you, catching your stare. He scoffs lightly, placing his Onigiri down on his knee. “You have some sauce on your chin”

Your eyes widen, and immediately bring your hand to wipe your face. Looking over at him to see if you had got it.

Felix looked at you, smiling with amusement. That damn smile.

He thought you looked so helpless, “may I?” he asked, lifting his hand to your face, showing he wanted to get it for you. You did not get it. You nod your head, allowing him to go ahead with it. Watching as his face got closer to yours, his thumb gently rubbing against your skin. Your breath hitched. You never in a million years thought you’d be this close to him, even with the current agreement going on. They never said you had to be this close. You would assume that was obvious though. Pretending to be together was one thing, but kissing was another. Why on earth were you thinking about kissing him? His face was pretty close to you, surely it was a default thought.

“All gone” he whispered, not moving his face away from yours. You watched as Felix brought his thumb to his mouth “We don't want to waste any.”

You pull away from him slightly, not sure what to make of the situation. But something in your stomach made you feel some sort of way, you just didn’t know how to explain it. You bite your bottom lip. Unsure of how to process everything. That one decision he had just made sparked a feeling inside of you that you never felt before.

You must have appeared confused, because Felix was looking at you, amused by your reaction. “Someone flustered” he laughed, leaning back to his original position. “I guess I could have just fed it to you right?”

You blink in shock, the sudden change in the way he was speaking to you, caused your stomach to do flips. “I, uh, what?”

He laughed again, you found yourself laughing with him. His laugh was contagious, it was beautiful too. He was beautiful.

“You’re so delightful” he reached for his Onigiri once more, taking a bite leaving you once again, flustered.

You decide to lie down, enjoying the sun as your mind races. Thinking about the last 5 minutes with Felix. The pit in your stomach still felt weak, weak for him. You hated the feeling. You felt safe with him and safely made you vulnerable.

After a few moments had passed, Felix spoke again “Open your mouth” he asked gently.

You begin to fight every urge in your body to not open your eyes and to just trust him. Take a deep breath, turn your face towards him, and open your mouth.

He pushes a strawberry in between your lips, holding it there, smiling to himself as he watches your lips fold around the strawberry. Pulling it away once your mouth closed around the bite you took. His heart began racing slightly, he wasn’t certain as to why. Perhaps it was just a normal feeling of pride that you trusted him.

You hum in the pleasure of the taste. Strawberries. Your favorite.

“Thank you” you whisper once you have finished your mouthful. Smiling up at him. His hair looked as though it was sparkling with the sun against it. Despite looking as though he flourished in the sunlight, his eyes looked tired. You felt sorry for him. He had been so busy over the past few days since the recent comeback. You wished you could help him relax more. But you didn’t have the slightest idea of how to do that.

You sit up, moving slightly closer to him, reaching for a strawberry. You were so glad the staff had packed strawberries, you eat them forever.

“Can you open your mouth for me?” you whisper. Leaning slightly closer to him.

His eyes widened now, clearly not expecting you to say anything like that at all, even if it was just a whisper. Nevertheless, he opened his mouth for you, keeping his eyes on yours, watching you, so intently, so passionately.

When he takes a bite of the strawberry, his eyes finally close, humming in pleasure just as you did “Beautiful aren’t they” he says once he finishes. Sighing to himself, as if he was contemplating what he was going to do or say next.

“You know, I think I could love you” That explains the sigh.

“What?” You reply, shocked at the words Felix had just spoken, you didn’t expect to hear anything like to fall from his lips, especially if they were meant for you.

“ y/n, I think I could” his voice was soft now, looking over at you from across the table, a small smile lingering. Your heart fluttered.

“You promise?” The only words you could mutter, a week ago you would have never seen it coming. You still don’t. Even if that didn’t make sense. You still couldn’t imagine him loving you. He was Felix, you were you.

“I promise”

1st of February 2023

I like him you know…

You jumped at the sound of your text tone. You rarely got messages, when you did, it was late at night when your parents would text to you help them set up their Skype so you could tell them about your very unseasoned week.

So a text at 11 am was not something you were expecting, barely out of the shower, still sitting on your bed, wrapped in your towel where you had been for the past 10 minutes, pondering over what you wanted to do today.

You grab at your phone, checking the text message.

“Dammit Chris” you groan, flopping into your back, scrunching your nose up at the feeling of your wet hair getting caught up in the towel. Shuffling around slightly to comfortable, before replying.

You didn’t know how to respond, he missed your face? You should have taken that as a compliment, maybe get a bit giddy over it, but it made you confused, unsure as to why he missed your face. You didn’t take photos often, you did not need to. You didn’t use social media much. But you were willing to send Felix a picture of you.

You turn onto your stomach, burying your chin slightly into the duvet cover, the waves of the sheets covered just over the tip of your nose. Taking a deep breath, you take the picture, sending it immediately before you could overthink it.

“What?!” you jump up from your bed, staring at your phone. Why the hell did he want to call you? But before you could even have a chance at thinking it through, Felix was calling you. Well, you had hoped so anyway. It still said unknown, you probably should have changed it.

You press to answer and put it on speaker before speaking “Hello?” you whisper, though no need to whisper, you lived alone.

“y/n hello, I’m sorry, I couldn’t wait for an answer, I missed you too much”

You take a deep breath, walking over to your dresser, placing your phone down on top.

“Well, I was going to say yes, but ideally I was going to get dressed beforehand” you sigh, getting some underwear, sweatpants, and a tank top.

“Why would you need to get dressed?” Felix questioned, causing you to frown.

“Just, well, I don’t know, so I’m not talking to you in my towel?”

“It’s not like I can see you”

“Yes I know that”

“Do you though?”

You pause, halfway pulling your sweats on, “Felix?”

“Yes, y/n”

“Have you put a camera in my apartment?”

That caused him to let out the most tasteful laugh, the kind of laugh where you could imagine the smile. His smile.

“I promise, I haven’t”

“Mhm,” you tease back, taking your phone with you, as you left the bedroom, and heading into the kitchen. “No schedule today?” you ask, placing your phone down on the counter.

“Nope, just rehearsal” he replied, “did you like the photo I sent you earlier?” he asked, you could hear tapping in the background, probably something to do with his keys or the lube, or whatever.

“Yeah, you looked good,” you tell him, a smile lingering on your lips as you think about the photo in question. He always looked good, but you usually saw him with makeup on, so a bare face was a rare occasion. “Did you like mine?”

“You looked beautiful, always do”

You pause as you reach for the knife in the drawer, smiling to yourself, he made you feel so… comfortable, you were less anxious when you were talking to him, or around him. “Now I feel like my compliment for you wasn’t enough” you pout, continuing with getting the knife out to cut your bread. Perhaps you could invite him over.

“Hey, Felix?” You question, placing the knife down and gripping the side of the counter, preparing yourself to ask him the next question.

“Yes Y/N?”

You take a deep breath, “Did you want to come over?”

“Does someone miss me as much as I miss them?” He teases, you liked it when he teased. “Sure, give me your address, I’ll come on over after I sort out these keys”

You smile to yourself excitedly, putting the bread and knife back, you could order food when Felix gets here. You tell him your address you hear the pen scratch against the paper as he writes it down. You both say your goodbyes. Sighing when you hang up.

You begin doing something you’d never thought you’d do, dancing from excitement. You were so incredibly excited about seeing him in your place. It was your safe place, and he had become a second safe place.

“Hey you,” you say as you answer the door, Felix beaming down to you as he walks inside. Opening his arms for you once you shut the door.

“Hey,” he finally says as you enclose yourself in his arms, embracing him and all he was. You hum softly against his chest, taking in the smell of his aftershave, it smelt amazing. He always smelt amazing.

“I thought we could order in some food” he smiles, pulling away to show you the bag he was carrying “-and maybe bake some brownies for desert”

“Felix I had stuff here we could have used for baking” you sigh, motioning him to follow you to the kitchen. “But that sounds good, maybe a movie?”

He nods as you show him where to place the item he brought over. You watch him intently, the veins in his hands protruding ever so slightly as he lifts the rather large bag of flour into the cabinet.

“What are you looking at?” He looked over at you, a small smirk playing on his full lips, his hair sticking to his forehead slightly from the light sweat from being out in the heat.

You gulp, shaking your head, “Oh nothing, I was just watching you”

He hummed, walking over to you slowly, Cornering you against the kitchen surface. His hands were on either side of you, but he was careful not to touch you. You looked up at him, his breath hot against your face. “Just watching me?”

“Yeah?” You whisper, your heart pounding faster as the interaction goes on. You desperately wanted something to happen, anything. Perhaps his hands would wrap around your waist, his fingers could trace faint and delicate shapes along your stomach.

Your chest began to rise and fall heavily as his face inched closer to yours, his fingers tilting up your chin as he-

“Hey, Earth to Y/N” Felix waved his hand in front of your face.

You Internally scold yourself for even thinking such things. How could you think this way about anyone, let alone Felix, you were friends, he did see you as a friend right?

You had fantasies of being touched by him, kissed by him. Daydreams of the way his hands could caress your fragile body, how they would brush across your soft skin, and how they would relieve the shivering feeling you felt deep inside. You were soon taken away as vivid thoughts flooded your head.

“Sorry I was just, away”

“Away with the fairies?” Felix questioned, raising his eyebrow at you as the pair of you made your way to the lounge area of your apartment. “Now that you're back with me, shall we order some food?” He flops down into your couch, patting the spot beside him, “what do you fancy?”

You.

“I’d kill for a burger” you respond properly, sitting beside him, crossing your legs up on the couch to get comfortable.

The pair of you browse Felix’s phone, hunting down the right combination of food that you’d be satisfied with. And after several minutes of looking, the food had been ordered and it was quiet once more.

“So, y/n, are you enjoying your new job?”

You look up to Felix, scoffing playfully, “Oh yeah, though my Co-worker is a bit of work, he’s pretty annoying”

He seemed to enjoy the teasing. He loved that you were having fun, whether it be at his expense or not, he just enjoyed seeing you smile. He lifted his hand to push back his hair before looking at you with the sweetest eyes. “Hey, you should probably tell someone then, you don’t want the bad relationship to ruin your love for the job”

You roll your eyes, shoving his shoulder playfully, causing him to retort with a playful expression, his hand on his shoulder acting in pain, “damn, you pack a punch!”

“Was that a cod reference?”

“You know cod?”

You raise your eyebrow, “You’re kidding right? It was one of the best games for years, it’s my guilty pleasure” you tell him, leaning forward to grab a grape from the coffee table, popping it into your mouth.

Felix’s tongue pokes into his cheek as he watched you his phone letting off a text ping, “I think you are my soulmate”

“Oh shut up you” you laugh, taking the chance to move closer to him when he looks down at his phone. Peering over his shoulder to peek at his phone, seeing messages from Chris.

“Chris should've come over too” you whisper, making it known you had seen the texts. Causing him to turn his face to look at you, making the gap between your faces, a couple inches now at most.

“No,” he says, his eyes taking in your facial features, falling to become stuck on your lips. “I wanted you to myself” he adds, looking back up to your eyes, smiling softly at your gulping reaction. He thought it was adorable, he thought you were adorable.

So adorable that he felt his

words

Could

fall

off

his

tongue.

“You're so beautiful,” he says softly, his hand coming up to cup your cheek, his thumb tracing delicate circles as he hummed.

You felt frozen in place right now, your heart pounding, was this about to happen? His face closed in on yours, both of your eyes falling to close as your lips began to-

Knock knock.

You pull back, staring at Felix for a moment before taking a deep breath, seconds ago you were so close to kissing him and now you were pushing yourself up from the couch.

“Saved by the Bell”

12th of February 2023

Hey,

“Y/N!! Your back!” Chris greeted you, opening his arms up for you.

Your smile, engulfed yourself in Chris’ hug, smiling as you felt him rub your back comfortingly.

You had taken the last week off from work, you requested an emergency holiday and luckily they rewarded it. You needed time to think. After the sudden lunch date with Felix at your apartment, you needed time to figure shit out. You had almost kissed, did that mean there were mutual feelings? Possibly? Who knows. But you knew that you needed to think. The Saturday after, Felix messaged you asking where you were, you didn’t reply, and you hadn’t replied to any of his messages. You needed time to think, and anything remotely Felix flavored, caused you to not think.

“Come, we’re having dance practice right now, but I’m sure the others will be glad to see you” Chris suggested, directing you towards the studio.

“Felix…what about Felix” you speak quietly, you didn’t know if you were completely ready to see him. Or if he wanted to see you.

“Oh, he’s missed you more than the 7 of us combined!” He turns to look at you before opening the door. You could hear the stomping of feet through the closed door. Knowing one of those belonged to Felix had brought everything back. “Come on y/n, I’m with you” Chris reassured you, opening the door without giving you another chance to protest.

“Look who’s back!” Chris exclaimed,

The guys greeted you one by one, with six hello’s and a nod. The nod belongs to Felix. At least the awkwardness waited until the rest of them said hello.

“Felix” you start softly, walking up towards him, “I, I’m sorry-”

“Woah woah, okay how about we all go get some more water?” You hear Chris suggest, the others nod or grunt, and soon you and Felix were alone.

“You're sorry?” Felix asks once he was in the clear, raising his brow at you before walking closer. “I messaged you multiple times a day without fail since the last time I had seen you”

He was upset.

“We almost kissed, I poured my heart out to you in those texts as soon as I left your apartment, and you read every single one, and ghosted me” his voice cracked.

“Felix…please” your eyes began to sting, the lump in your throat threatening to come out. You didn’t realize how much this had affected him.

“I wrote a fucking song for you Y/N” His voice raised now, he was upset, but he was more importantly angry. And you understood why. “A fucking song, I was going to. I was going to sing it to you, to tell you how I felt, but you left, you, the person who’s scared of their reflection in a window, left the city” he turned away from you, his hands messed with his hair, “I wanted to tell you I loved you!”

You look up at him, his sad eyes penetrating your very soul, “loved?” You whisper, “Felix I was scared!”

“Then you fucking tell me!” He snapped, “You don’t fucking run off, you don’t run away from me, you talk to me!” In the time you’d known him, he had never been this angry in front of you. You had heard of his outbursts from Chris, but having that outburst be caused because of you, was a whole different experience.

“You’re scaring me, Felix”

Those four words stopped his world, he felt as though his heart had been torn from his chest. He stopped and just looked at you, his eyes saddened, his bottom lip quivering ever so slightly. “I didn’t, I didn’t mean to”

He inches closer to you, pulling you desperately into his arms, where the both of you, immediately broke down on impact. Both of your cries filled the room. He loved you, and you loved him, it wasn’t going to be an easygoing relationship, it wasn’t the most convenient and it certainly wasn’t going to be practical. But you loved each other. Unfortunately, it took you both hurting each other to admit it.

“I love you too” you whisper against his chest.

He pulled away gently, looking down at you with such sad but loving eyes. You look right back at him, sniffling slightly as you take in his gaze, he was perfect, truly, utterly beautiful. Over the last few seconds, your faces had gotten so close together. You could practically feel the atoms of his lips tickling your own.

“Felix..” you whisper,

Just as quickly as your hands laced with his, he kissed you. You responded with such enthusiasm that he was taken aback at first, but regained his composure and reminded himself of what was happening; he was kissing you, you were kissing him, and everything around you was now meaningless.

Nothing could have possibly meant more than them, nothing could have more beauty than this moment: your small hands pressed into his, the way your eyes fluttered to a close. You fit into him like a glove, her kiss like the beating of a butterfly’s wings, soft until it became addictive.

And you were falling fast, craving his scent and the feeling of him so close to you, unsure where he ended and you began. You had never been more grateful to have life until now. You would have rather walked into hell again and again than lose this: his entrancing eyes, his captivating smile against your lips, his laugh,

But your stupid, stupid lungs had to find air, and you were forced to separate from him with the feeling of gravity being torn out of your core. Somehow, you had been moved up onto a ledge, sitting high above him and disconnecting your hands from his (with another pitiful drop in his stomach) so you could run them through his disheveled hair, and he closed his eyes at your touch.

You looked up at him with such an inviting warmth that you wanted to kiss him again, but it would have come off as obsessive. When he was non-respondent, you pulled away. He took a step back, heat rising to his face. “Sorry — Shouldn’t have done that.”

“What are you talking about?” You said softly, watching him. “That was... it was fine.”

“F- fine?” His voice was hoarse. He cleared his throat, laughing a little before you made the move to kiss him again: he had become addicted, and you knew it, but this was short and sweet now.

God, he had forgotten how much he loved you.

“What the hell is going on in here?”

Felix jumps away from you, you jump down from the ledge of the countertop. Gulping hard when your eyes connect with the manager standing in the doorway.

“Y/N, my office, now,” he says calmly before exiting the room.

You would have preferred him to shout.

You had been fired. Effective immediately. The conditions of your termination? No contact with the members of the stray kids, especially Felix. Ideally, the company would like you to leave the country, but they didn’t hold that jurisdiction.

You look around your office sadly, licking your lip gently, still tasting Felix on your tongue. Placing the last photo frame from your desk into your box, you pick it up and head to the door.

You wanted to desperately see Felix before you left, but you signed the waiver. You could be fined. Thousands. You didn’t have that kind of money to risk it. As you walk down the elevator, you couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed with sadness. Not knowing what to do at all.

When the doors open you step into the elevator, choking back tears as the door started to close.

“Wait!!”

A hand blocked the door as it almost closed, the door opening once again, standing in front of you with a relieved expression, was Felix. He gets in and hurriedly presses the button to close the doors.

“They fired me” you finally say, refusing to look him in the eyes, “I can’t talk to you”

“We’re in an elevator together, what are they going to do?”

“Felix, I’m sorry”

“No” he warned, “don't you dare apologize” he took the box from your hands and placed it down on the floor, taking your hands in his, his eyes sad “They can’t stop us loving each other y/n”

“They can.. they have” you sob, trying your absolute hardest to not look him in his eyes, but you couldn’t tear yours away from his.

He sighed, “Then I can’t love you right now” his soft hand comes into contact with your cheek like it had done very few times before. But this time it felt different. Even though he said it was the wrong time, this made it clear it was definitive. This would be the last time you’d feel his hand cupping your cheek, the last time you’d stare into his perfect eyes, the last time you’d see his smile in person.

“I will promise to continue to love you, and when it’s our time, I will love you unconditionally” His face leans down, his lips pressing against yours with such love, attention, and warmth. A tear escapes down your cheek as you kiss him back without hesitation.

And it was the last time you’d feel his lips on yours.

A/N

Please don’t be afraid to tell me what you think!! Tysm for reading! Have an awesome day!

Tags; @hyunjinskxfelix @drhsthl @stockholmstyles @dutchesskarma

#skz fluff #straykids smut #skz x reader #felix x reader #lee felix x reader

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tarotwithdanise · 2 years

Text

꒰⠀🫖⠀— . your future home with your future spouse.

pick-a-card | what's your future home will look like in the future?

꒰⠀sections

[ 1. ] main message.

[ 2. ] extra messages.

[ 3. ] yes or no.

how to choose pile?

꒰⠀from left to right ; intuitively choose the pile your mind, heart and soul desire for. if you are having trouble choosing the right pile for you, here's some tips you can do ; (1) take a deep breath (2) close your eyes (3) ask guidance from your guides (4) finally open your eyes and you can choose the right pile for you by the guidance you ask from your guides. if you are still having trouble by choosing the right pile for you let me know because i am willing to help and guide you.

pile one. pile two pile three.

rules, disclaimer and notes ☆

[ 1. ] just a quick disclaimer : this reading was made for entertainment purposes only. this is obviously a general reading so takes what resonates and leave when it doesn’t, you don’t need to force your energy to read this and leave such a bad comment just to say it doesn’t resonates with you at all because the answer is very obvious! i don’t own any these pictures i collected them from pinterest so credits to the rightful owners.

[ 2. ] please ignore any grammatical errors, english is not my first language dude.

[ 3. ] third to the last one, if you are not an avid fan of this kind of readings and not totally 100% agree about the outcome of this pac please just ignore this post and don’t engaged anymore, this pac can contains harsh, hurtful comments about you that can trigger you if possible, so kindly read at your own risk and take how it’ll resonates.

[ 4. ] lastly, be happy and enjoy reading my works — feedbacks, comments, likes, reblogs and follows are really appreciated by the reader. (that’s me, lol :3)

for tips, donation and paid readings ☆

TIP JAR — DONATION BOX — PAID READING SERVICES

[ 🤍 ] check out my second account @danisetarot . the full list of my works are here ; masterlist.

source and creditable : all of the pictures are collected and downloaded from 'pinterest' i don't own any of them but credits goes to the rightful owners however edits goes and belong to yours truly. i use the editor tools canva and ibispaint for the header and divider.

PILE ONE

Hello my dear pile 1, this is your reading. take what resonates and leave doesn't. enjoy reading! so my pile 1 i see there is someone against in this relationship of you. but that's not really important here, we r just focusing on ur future home/house with ur fs. You will have a happy home life with ur spouse. there is always learning in this family, i love that. You might live in a suburban. ur house will be small yet new, i see u guys will be the one styling & designing it. ur home will always be alive & loud. I see the kitchen, you & ur future family might love to have family bonding there. There is a chance that you will move to the city bc i see someone working there & might be bc of their challenges at work. The house will have a library too. (kids love to read & learn) You guys might also live in abroad. Overall kitchen is the most significant part of the house. For some of you, you would like to have a backyard. It's for your kids to play. Ahh, someone's here has that friend that has a dark hair. They're reliable and trustworthy. Broken promises might come on way that will hurt you that's might be in ur current family. your FS might have a light hair color. Someone here loves to cook, i see a scenario where the kids done playing or came back from home, this person will cook for them. Do you love cooking?if yes this might be you & if no i see you guys will try to learn it for your future family. You will have a big family maybe you will adopt kids or pets. The kids likes to play. This home will be fun and super loud. A lot of helping here, you will teach your children to help each other. Will be close to each other lots of hugs, you will love each other. in a week there is a day that is like a family day, maybe that's ur idea or fs idea. bc you know i see someone that has been hurt bc their family is broken. you guys will love to buy in a shopping malls. even though i see a lot of challenges here & against with this relationship. this family will always be fun, loud, & love each other. you & fs will be good parents and also you will love all of ur kids.

EXTRA MESSAGES

from south. medium to long hair. airplanes. 123. 414. 1954. a pot. boat. sunset. leaning tower of pisa. family. sunflowers. clouds. europe. boy. blue. london. happy thanksgiving. local. beautiful teeth. introvert. blond(e) hair color. work. hooded brown eyes. orange. earth sign. yellow. round eyes. selfish. colosseum, italy. a, l, g u, & w.

"there is a beautiful life waiting for you on the other side of your fears."

"as well as birds & fish."

"i looked up, looking at the endless sky, clouds are still far away from me, this mountain-like build can not know how high the sky is."

YES OR NO

hello my pile 1, choose from 1 to 3 " yes or no " this can be answer to your question so focus & choose the number you most attracted to.

[ 1. ] yes

[ 2. ] no. + don't engaged too much on any negative energy let it go.

[ 3. ] no

Thank you so much for reading, let me know your thoughts, feedbacks as well tipping and reblogs is well appreciated !! ♡

࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚ 𝓞 ops you already reached the end. ࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚

PILE 2

Hello my dear pile 2, this is your reading. take what resonates and leave doesn't. enjoy reading! So my pile 2 your future home/house this is a gift from someone i see a feminine energy. You guys will live in a big city. Maybe in a unit or apartment bc i see the word building. In this home a lot of gatherings will be happen, this house always chosen to held a family party or gathering that always be scheduled. This is may abroad. You might also buy another house that has a garden, you or your fs might like gardening to reduce some stress & have some relaxation. The garden will going to have a lot of beautiful flowers & plants. Your babies might be twin, i don't get any specific gender or energy here. But yeah, a twin. You may have a crush on your fs but there is potential trouble here(maybe bcs this person is attractive & people will also crushing on them). However, they're wealthy and ur marriage can be successful. Do you dye your hair? if yes it might light color like blond(e) or you planning to do it so. The feminine energy here is kind. When it comes to financial it won't be difficult for both of you, lots of success & prosperity r showing up here. But you will have obstacles and difficulties but you will overcome that tho. Just be careful to befriend with others they might trying to deceit or betray you bc you know you have a big amount of money. (Potentially by a friend) Their advices are bad. You will get fooled by this person & loss some amount of money. In this house you will do crafts, you might try crafts tutorial you watch online. I see new york city, some of you already live here for some you ur fs might live or working here. Your house will have a big window that when night comes you are able to see the stars and moon. Someone might be a leo sign here. The color of the house might mixed with green, brown & white. For some of you, you guys might own a bird. You will have big clock in this house or time might be important. The design of the house can be minimalist. Also, might have 3-4 bedrooms.

EXTRA MESSAGES

an apartment/unit, shells, butterfly, phases of moon, dried leaves & flowers, camera, short curly hair, february 26, March 4, t(came out thrice), y, z, e, m , r 444, 111, 401, 104, 9, 6,8 , 5 ,red, earth sign(taurus, virgo, capricorn), fire sign (aries, sagittarius, leo) tan skin, lazy, round eyes, struggles, monsoon, volleyball, cherry blossoms, summer, playing billiards & pouty lips.

"struggles won't last always."

"at first dry season."

"afraid for the future comes."

YES OR NO

hello my pile 2, choose from 1 to 3 " yes or no " this can be answer to your question so focus & choose the number you most attracted to.

[ 1. ] no

[ 2. ] yes

[ 3. ] yes

Thank you so much for reading, let me know your thoughts, feedbacks as well tipping and reblogs is well appreciated !! ♡

࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚ 𝓞 ops you already reached the end. ࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚

PILE 3

Hello my dear pile 3, this is your reading. take what resonates and leave doesn't. enjoy reading! pile 3 ur future house will be big and old like it could be like antaquated house. For some of your could be a modern mansion like. The structures are well done you might design it or you can get an engineer. A lot of lights for this house. People in this home will be busy. You will have for like five or more rooms. I see living room & kitchen will be large. It can also have an attic. For the outside it can have a ranch. You can live on countryside. Also the hills are alive you will love this place it can give you peace of mind. You will always play ur favorite songs i mostly hear backyard boy by claire rosinkranz u might listening to this song lately. Maybe ur fs or you might could be working on hospital. I don't see any kids here, so might not have kids immediately after married, you two could enjoy yourselves of couple moments for the mean time. This is could also have an antique or vintage things. Someone here like to play polo. somehow, this house might feel you imprison and makes you worry. It can also bring to you anxiety and depression. You will feel like a misfortune. I see the female energy here might have a problem in menstrual(irregular or ovulation problem) & this can be a trouble by getting pregnant. Just be patient and always try bcs i see you guys can overcome this problem. If you think your stress try to open up to your FS, family & friends they will help you especially the dark haired older woman who is confident & kind.

EXTRA MESSAGES

somewhere in north, car, someone likes kpop, hazel/grey eyes, different cultural backgrounds, diversity, living room, cats, concert, motorcycle, extremely fair, church, city, earth, fire & water signs, a, l , c, o f, y , p brown, coupon, east of greenwich, eiffel tower, letter, picture, 49, 35, 25, 2036 - 2038, field, vacation list, bees, color blue & beaches.

"always trust God his plans are better than yours."

"good luck to you today, tomorrow. a life all bright that has no worry & no sorrow.

"and the original neon lights would not only flash, but they could also make neon more colorful."

YES OR NO

hello my pile 3, choose from 1 to 3 " yes or no " this can be answer to your question so focus & choose the number you most attracted to.

[ 1. ] no

[ 2. ] yes

[ 3. ] yes

Thank you so much for reading, let me know your thoughts, feedbacks as well tipping and reblogs is well appreciated !! ♡

࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚ 𝓞 ops you already reached the end. ࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚

— 🦢 ꒰ danise's note. [ 07/03/2022 ]

"Thank you so much 100+ followers, i hope you will keep supporting me. I will always try to improve my reading."

song recommended : angel baby by troye sivan.

note : this pick-a-card is edited when it comes to grammar, proper letter usage and layout. It also proofread, rewritten and revised.

page 3 out all of pacs

#spotify #for you #free tarot #tarot online #tarot reading #tarotcommunity #tarot #tarot cards #pick a pile reading #pick a picture #pick a card reading #pick a pile #pac reading #pick a card #intuitive #cartomancy

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alittlehurtwithyourcomfort · 1 year

Text

whump question challenge by @withalittlebitofwhump! thought it'd be fun to answer these all in one go, it's an old challenge but i found it and said "why not?"

if you're new to my blog, here's some info abt me and whump!

alright, here we go:

-----------------------------

1. Favorite whump trope(s)?

answer: hidden injury or collapse, preferably together! also prefer when it's from an abdominal wound (stabbing, GSW, etc)

-----------------------------

2. Least favorite whump trope(s)?

answer: anything to do with just regular sickness/emeto. or allergic reactions. not a fan of anything that i see as potentially embarrassing (?).

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3. Top 3 whump scenes and why?

answer: this is so hard??? omg. uh, okay:

1. all of the whump scenes in he is psychometric (i can't choose) they're the ones i rewatch CONSTANTLY, jinyoung's acting is amazing and it's got all my fav tropes

2. daredevil episode 2 because damn, they really gave us an entire whumpy episode so early in the series and it's AMAZING

3. the vault scene in be reborn (c-drama), the way it's filmed and also the acting, the length, it's SO GOOD.

-----------------------------

4. Top 3 characters to whump and why?

answer: (this is so hard lol)

1. buck (911) because he's got the relatability, the found family, and everything

2. keith (VLD), all the good tropes but only in fics, sadly

3. peter parker (MCU) again, because he's relatable and has (had) found family

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5. Favorite fandom for whump (show, series, etc)?

answer: currently it's gotta be 911! it's a treasure trove for found family whump.

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6. Do you prefer written or watchable whump?

answer: watchable for sure! though, i'm a huge consumer of whump fics.

-----------------------------

7. Do you also like hurt/comfort?

answer: i'm mainly a hurt/comfort person, actually! if there's no recovery/aftercare and comfort, the whump falls a bit flat imo.

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8. What do you think the difference between hurt/comfort and whump is?

answer: i'd say whump refers to the act of the character being hurt, and then hurt/comfort is the trope that includes whump.

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9. How would you explain whump to someone who’s not familiar with it?

answer: i'd say that whump refers to a character being hurt in some way, rather physically, emotionally, or psychologically. it's a trope that many enjoy, and it adds development and drama to a storyline!

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10. Is there any old whump you particularly enjoy? (say, pre 2000?)

answer: hmm, star wars comes to mind, as well as the OG macgyver, and the karate kid trilogy! right now i can't think of much else.

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11. Why do you think you like whump?

answer: i think i like it because of the interactions and drama (plus the "whumperflies" lol). i tend to like whump for characters i can relate to!

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12. When did you realize you liked whump?

answer: oh god, i've always known i liked it! it's such an integral part of my media consumption. when i discovered the community + fanfic, i was around ten or eleven (young, i know!). so probably around seven years ago, almost eight since i've been actually knowledgeable about the term.

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13. Favorite posts with whump (gifsets, picspams, etc)

answer: gifsets or whumplists, they help me find what to watch!

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14. Are you “out” to people in real life?

answer: mostly, yeah! my family knows, since my sister also enjoys whump (not as much as me, but still some!) and will recommend shows to me based on that.

some of my irl friends are avid fanfic readers/in fandoms and know the term well. :)

-----------------------------

15. How did you find the whump community?

answer: 1980's macgyver whump list :)

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16. Any unusual mediums you like for whump (plays, music, vlogs, etc)?

answer: some kpop music videos have really good whump scenes!

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17. Any meta about whump you’ve been dying to share?

answer: do not have an answer for this one unfortunately!

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18. Whump fic(s) you’d love to see?

answer: MORE. BUCK. WHUMP. also, to the lockwood and co. fandom, please write more gen lockwood whump with minimal/established romance. i need the fics.

-----------------------------

19. Whump you’re looking forward to? (Maybe something teased or something you haven’t seen yet?)

answer: AHHH 911 SEASON 6B!!! coma!buck for the win, y'all, i can feel it in my bones.

-----------------------------

20. Top 3 favorite whump fics?

answer:

1. kindness, what connects us by FandomLife54 on ao3 (911, buck whump, tsunami AU)

2. quintessence blues by SilenceIsGolden15 (VLD, keith whump, magical injuries)

3. of bikes and concussions by datleggy on ao3 (911, buck whump, misunderstandings, concussion)

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21. Tropes you think are overdone?

answer: car crashes (especially with little to no aftercare or injury)

-----------------------------

22. Tropes you think we could use more of?

answer: i love the "found" trope, where a character is injured and then subsequently discovered by friends.

i also think we could use more of the "injured character calls someone for help and passes out over the phone" trope. it's so good.

-----------------------------

23. Favorite sites/archives for consuming whump? (question by @dammittmarie )

answer: tumblr (obv), the whumpapedia is good, ao3 best fanfic site, and that's about all i use!

-----------------------------

24. Have your whump preferences changed recently? If so, why? (question by @fyeahvulnerablemen)

answer: my preferences have honestly stayed pretty consistent! i've always loved hidden injury, abdominal wound, and collapse whump. however, i used to be rlly into panic attack-related whump and i don't rlly like it much anymore!

#soft whump #whumplist #kdrama whump #whump gif #whump recs #whump fic #whump prompt #whump #fanfic #whump community #whump scenes #whump blog #whump scenario #whumpy #911onfox #buck whump

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wishmemel · 1 year

Note

Heyy! I saw your ask a fanfic writer post so I hope you don't mind me participating :D

5, 17, 19, 20, 39, 42, 45, & 64

[ I would've asked more, but I don't want to overwhelm you w a bunch of asks 😭]

hi hi i appreciate you going out of your way to ask ! thank u sm for this as i’ve never gotten a chance to participate in one of these before > <

5. have you ever made a playlist about something you were writing as an elaborate means to procrastinate when you could have been actually writing and if yes drop a link, son

when it comes to playlists, i make them for my own OCs - not really for fics that i've written ! (but i have a playlist for satoru that is... still a work in progress. i'll totally share once i feel like i'm actually getting somewhere > <)

17. what is your favorite line you’ve ever written?

this is such a good question omg - had to scroll through all my unpublished wips for this, but my favourite line at the moment would be:

"IS A STORY DEEMED A TRAGEDY IF YOU TAKE BACK WHAT WAS YOURS (you can raise the dead, climb through hell, and fight the devil if you must; even the gods won’t interfere when they see a wrath like yours, harbinger. fear not, child of stars, lady midnight, the gods need not your wrath to bring about your damnation.)"

hehe this is from one of those never-ending fics that i keep in my drafts and finish two years later cause why not !

19. what are some books or authors that influenced your style the most?

rick riordan honestly altered my brain chemistry as a child. he was my favourite author for so long which is why i was a little disappointed when i grew up and read about all the cultural stereotypes in his writing :( aside from him, i know this is controversial, but i really like sarah j. maas's writing style for some reason? she focuses a lot on characters, rather than plot, and i tend to do the same, but overall i just enjoy her silly writing.

20. what is your favorite trope to write?

ahh this is such a hard one to choose from, but if i'm being honest i'm always a sucker for two characters in a relationship arguing and being really hurtful towards each other, and then later making up and being so so soft. idk if it counts as a trope, but i have countless wips of this ^.^

39. are you an avid reader?

yes ! ever since childhood ! i used to be a really shy kid and would always read while the teacher was talking until i was told multiple times to put my book away > < i'm more social now and usually only read during breaks when i don't have school to worry about !

42. describe the aesthetic of a story in 5 words.

this question confuses me a little, honestly... like one of my stories? a story i like? i'm so confused > <

since it's not very specific, i'm going to do it based off of this: JJK Men Tropes, if that's okay !

Suguru Version (cause i've been thinking of @mambalae-s recently and i'm always reminded of her love for Suguru): imprints, confessions, promises, childhood, and forever !

45. name three of your favorite fanfic writers.

it's been a while since i've read fanfic and this is more than three, i'm sorry > <

@tawus, @/beaubcxton on ao3, @/impxria on ao3, @edendaphne, and @/xoxodee on ao3 !

64. what is your favourite title for a fic you’ve read?

honestly, any taylor swift lyrics, but also you don't even know me at all (but i was made for loving you), and What Shall I Swear By? (Swear By Yourself, and I’ll Believe You), and Say It Later, Say It Now, and i put this heavy heart in you (it's not your fault) !

i find them all so so poetic and heart-wrenching !

ask game - come say hi (i promise i don't bite ^.^)

#i've read too many miraculous fics haven't i ^^#i don't even like the show #what's wrong with me #i have like 600 fanfics in my bookmarks #i wanna make a rec list #and omg don't apologize ml !!#i love answering these and talking about myself > <#thank u sm for participating #i had so much fun scrounging up these answers #it's nice to have a friend #i think she knows

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danpuff-ao3 · 2 years

Text

A Minor Problem

At the age of 11, I discovered fanfiction.

It was wholly accidental. 11 year old Danni didn't know what fanfiction was. I was using my allotted 30 minutes of internet time wisely: Googling random Harry Potter stuff (obsessed fangirl that I was.) I joined a fairly innocent roleplay site during one such search. But my innocent roleplaying soon ended when I clicked on an explicit Drarry fanfic.

Where were my parents? Good question. In fairness, around this time my mom was pregnant and we were gearing up to move states. (Which is how I remember what time period this took place in; not sure I'd have recalled my age otherwise.)

Did they ever find out what I spent my time reading and writing? Maybe! My personal fanfiction was saved to the family computer. And in my earliest days I didn't know how to, or think to, delete my search history.

What is important to note, though, is this: my parents never hid my siblings or myself from any media.

I grew up watching horror films. All manner of horror films. (Violence, gore, nudity, sex.) We listened to all sorts of music. (Profanity, sex, violence.) I was also an avid reader from a young age. I inhaled books in a frenzy. My mom gave me Flowers of the Attic (child neglect and abuse, underage sex, incest, murder) before I discovered fanfic. As a preteen, my grandmother gave me a book called She's Come Undone (domestic abuse, mental illness, rape, eating disorders, abortion.) I read Lolita in junior high. I probably don't need to explain that one.

Explicit slash fiction wasn't so different as to shock or horrify me, but it was a unique experience. It opened my eyes in many ways.

I was always a creative person. (No one ask me about the spy novels I wrote at ages 7 and 8.) I was always deeply invested in stories. (Harry Potter, my longtime love.) That I found find more Harry Potter stories!! That I could create my own, even??? There was a whole world to explore!

I might also mention that I was born and raised in the Bible Belt in the good ole U.S. of A. Sex education was barely there. Hardly an education at all. I'd learned more from sex scenes in horror films and hundreds of smut fics. (I don't actually recommend using fanfic as a guidebook, but it can be a good starting point for what to research and explore.)

I learned about the LGBT community. I'd never even heard of gay people before fanfiction. I learned about kinks. I saw many topics explored in deeper, more meaningful ways than any traditional media. Self harm, abuse, homophobia, rape, etcetera.

You can argue, if you want, that minors shouldn't be exposed to some things.

But I'll tell you what my mother told me, when reflecting upon our childhood: "I didn't want to shield you from anything. The world is a big, scary place. At least I could be with you, and talk to you."

She never gave us overt lessons. But I didn't need a lecture after Texas Chainsaw Massacre to know murder was wrong. I knew that monsters weren't real, but danger was. I learned there were specific words only adults could use, that I could say when I was older. And that sex was for grown ups, too.

I never drank, I never did drugs. I never skipped school, or sneaked out of my house. I didn't steal. I didn't cheat on tests, or boyfriends. I was a good kid. And I've been a fairly tame adult, as far as real life and real actions go.

You can argue, if you want, that minors shouldn't be exposed to some things. And I'm not saying everyone should raise their kids the way I was raised. But it was hardly awful, what I went through.

It was never fiction that hurt me.

It was real people, in real life, and the real actions they took against me that hurt me.

Through fandom, I read and wrote fanfiction for Harry Potter. I was involved in online roleplays for Twilight. I made friends all over the world.

I saw a post yesterday complaining about "kids today." How the internet ruined us. How no one should have so much access to information. I disagree.

I thrived.

Who would I be today without my experiences? Not so open-minded, I think, nor so knowledgeable. Lacking awareness of other people, other cultures, other ways of living and loving. Without seeing how much joy and pleasure could exist in this world, or how much darkness and cruelty. My mind turned a thousand different ways. There was so much variety in the fandom world. And so much potential for me to unravel my own thoughts and feelings. To further push the bounds of my imagination and abilities.

My world is all the richer, and all the brighter, for these past nineteen years in fandom.

I learned.

I learned not only about others, but about myself. I learned what sorts of content I enjoyed reading. What sorts of content I enjoyed writing (which, funnily enough, can be different things.) I learned basic coding. I learned about Microsoft. I learned how to troubleshoot computer issues, and internet issues. I eventually learned how to clear a browser history. I learned how to fine-tune engine searches. I learned how to back away from content I didn't like, and how to recover from content that bothered me.

I fell down research rabbit holes related to stories I read. Is this a real town? Is that a real item? I learned bits of Latin, and the importance of lube. I learned about safewords. And polyamory. I figured out what was possible, and what wasn't. The different ways people could think, and feel.

In my early to mid twenties I read a fic with a demisexual character. I did my research. I joined Facebook groups. I interacted with others. I spent years listening and learning and sitting with myself, and embracing my asexual identity.

My Best Friend had a different upbringing than I did. Her parents shielded her from the world. They were deeply religious. They were very strict. Her parents never gave her the sex talk. She learned about sex for the first time in our small town, conservative high school. Her first experience with gay people was her twin coming out of the closet in junior high. She believed in Santa Claus until high school, from our peers discussing the subject in class. She learned about asexuality from me, in our twenties, and from our conversations, learned more about herself.

In our early years, her parents called me a bad influence. I wore short skirts and I made crude jokes. I was watching Saw when she couldn't watch PG-13 films at 13.

Best Friend is one of the kindest people I know. She's deeply compassionate, and very open-minded. She is primed to learn from others, and willing to have her mind changed. She is one of the best people I know.

Being protected from media never protected her, though. Because there are still real people out there, who really hurt her.

We're 30 now. There are still topics to this day I'm surprised to find Best Friend has never heard of. I'll mention a subject in conversation. She asks me questions.

We're 30 now, and despite different upbringings, we're in similar places. We don't party. Neither of us had a "wild" stage. We both have stable jobs and stable relationships. We've been best friends for eighteen years. She indulges in very heterosexual, very vanilla smut. I read all manner of darkfic, whumping, and dead dove.

She doesn't judge me for it.

She never did.

She's known since we were 13, when I boldly and enthusiastically informed our friend group of my fandom world. I told them all about my deep love of Snarry. I won't say they weren't surprised, and that they didn't lowkey judge me, but they loved and accepted me all the same.

Best Friend shares none of my fandom preferences. We're not in the same fandom. We don't ship the same ships. We don't read the same types of stories. Her stomach would roil if she were forced to read the stories I read.

But no one's forcing her.

I tell her about my projects, and about my accomplishments, and she's happy for me. She's supportive.

No amount of "problematic" content turned me into a monster. None of Best Friend's shelter protected her from monsters.

No one and nothing will protect you from the world. We can't expect it. Life is big and wild and strange. And beautiful. And horrible. It is the responsibility of our guardians to guide us. And our responsibility to learn and grow. To study and explore.

But if all you know is how to hate and hunt, well...you have a lot left to learn.

#personal #ranting #antis #the history of danpuff #mentions of incest #mentions of rape #mentions of murder #odd how I know the first 2 need a warning but am less sure about the murder bit #basically mentions of triggering content existing #long post

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eight-tea-cups · 2 years

Note

Omg yay!! I was wondering if you could do HC’s w/ platonic fatherly Hellboy and Abe (separately) and a teen reader who has powers similar to Jennifer Check, speed, strength and has a ‘strange’ diet to say the least-

Thank you!💖

Hellboy and Abe with a teen reader

Hello! Thank you so much for requesting! This was such a fun ask to have. Hope ya’ll are doing well!

Warning! Swearing

—

Hellboy:

-I like to imagine Hellboy is good with kids, especially teenagers, because he himself is moody.

-Hellboy was a tad distant with you at first. He’s seen a lot of deaths, he didn’t want to see a kid’s.

-However, that changed when on one mission, he was down, covered by some cultists. You saw this, and decided to help.

-You swooped in like a goddam vampire, as Hellboy likes to say, and just began tearing. Shit. up. (Go you!)

-After saving his ass, he has a lot more respect for you.

-You sit next to him in the cafeteria sometimes. He’ll offer you his fruit cups. Not like they satiate you, but the gesture is nice.

-would never admit it, but he is just a *little* terrified of you. When you get hungry and moody, he tends to stay out of the way. He’s seen what you can do.

-good person to complain to. He will get hyped up with you though, and if anyone upsets you? They’re done for.

-Training together! He’s like your coach. You bench pressed him once to win a bet.

-When you're both out in the field, his protective mode is cranked to the MAX. Even though he knows he can handle yourself, god FORBID anything happens to you.

-Has nicknames for you. Squirt, Kid, Kiddo, the generic dad ones. Occasionally calls you a blood-sucker. He means well with it.

-while your ‘diet’ may be scary for others, it’s kinda fine for him. He’s seen weirder, and you don’t seem to be eating the good guys.

-it’s so funny when you just r u n past him on the battlefield. He’s doing a steady jog and you just zoom. Nothing but a blur.

-Sneaking out? Not without him. If you wanna be rebellious, you should at least be safe. If you do end up going without him, he will be very worried about you.

-Bad and Dad jokes with him. You will never escape them.

-Basically, when he’s around you, it's dad mode activated.

-In all, he’s a pretty good father figure. He’s good to joke around and have fun with, and always makes sure you're safe.

Abe Sapien:

-Unlike Hellboy, he isn’t that distant with you at your initial meeting. Remembering his first time here, he can’t imagine what you’re feeling.

-he’s a little awkward with kids, but after he gets used to you everything will be easier.

-If you’re an avid reader, he likes to read what you do so you can compare notes.

-Will help you with homework! He’s well versed in every subject. Ask him to tutor you, he’ll be so honored.

-He’s good to talk things over with, to get a feel for your emotions. He also gives pretty great advice! Unlike a certain red demon.

-Is a little more confident then Hellboy when you're on the battlefield. He’s seen what you can do, you can handle yourself.

-That being said, he still worries. If you get injured, he’s immediately by your side treating your wounds while hellboy is killing the thing that hurt you

-He will chastise you for risky decisions sometimes, but give him the puppy eyes and he’ll relent.

-Isn’t too put off by your diet. He likes rotten eggs, you like people. Like Hellboy, as long as you don’t eat the good guys, he’s chill. He’s still gonna be a bit squirmy about it though.

-Pretty amazed by your strength, especially when you bench pressed Hellboy.

-If you don’t know how to swim or like to, he’ll invite you to his tank!

-Also a good father figure. He’s supportive and a great listener. Dotes on you sometimes, but he means well.

#hellboy x reader #abe sapien x reader #x reader

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em-dash-press · 2 years

Text

How to Take Constructive Criticism Better

When I started taking my creative writing serious, handing out my short stories became a much scarier experience. I wanted their honest feedback, but I knew it would hurt deeply if someone I loved sliced my stories to their bones.

Now I take constructive criticism for a living and I have to say—it's never fully painless, but it does get much easier.

Here are a few ways to overcome the fear of constructive criticism and learn how to strengthen your writing with it.

1. Focus on Your Desire to Improve Your Craft

Writing something deeply personal is cracking your heart open on the page. It's impossible not to feel intimidated and nervous when someone reads it.

If they mention something constructive, take a deep breath. Remember that you gave them your story to experience it through a reader's eyes.

Focusing on that purpose helped me turn helpful notes into positive action. After making edits that strengthen my work, I always give myself a mental high five because those changes will better showcase my themes, characters, and plot points that mean so much to me.

2. Take a Break Before Giving Anything Out

When I finished my first novel, I cried. They were tears of joy, sadness, and relief. It was an incredibly emotional moment, so my heart wasn't on solid ground when I immediately handed it to my best friend to read.

It's okay to pause for a while after finishing something. Let the story sit with you. Process everything it took to write it and when you feel ready to talk about it from a less-emotional standpoint, you'll receive criticism much more easily.

3. Consider Who's Giving the Advice

Your loved ones want the best for you. They love supporting you, but that doesn't qualify them as the best beta readers.

It's better to give your work to someone who knows how stories work. Those would be avid readers, trained writers, and people who communicate for a living.

You don't need an agent and editor to polish your work. But it's crucial to remember someone's perspective when they give you feedback. I take advice from my writer friends seriously, but the feedback from my family members who otherwise hate reading ends up farther down on my list of priorities.

4. Remember the Positive Notes

It's difficult to remember the positive things people say about your work if their more negative notes hit you straight in the heart.

When you return to your WIP, dedicate some time to remembering what they loved about your story. Write it in the margins. Post it on your wall. Doodle it on a sticky note and tape it to your monitor.

Writing is hard work. You're essentially on your own, so there's no creative team cheering you on (unless you're a published writer with a support system helping get your stories to readers).

Practice the art of self-love and be your own cheerleader. With time, you'll instinctively ground your identity as a writer in your strengths and not your mistakes.

5. Weigh How Useful the Criticism Is

People may say they'd love to give some constructive criticism, but comments aren't always constructive. Sometimes they're not helpful for your story.

Let's say you've written a short story about a dog who buried his bone in the backyard and can't find it anymore. The neighbor's dog helps him sniff out the bone and dig it up. You wanted the story to teach kids about the importance of accepting help when you need it.

After giving it to a friend, the friend says the story is good, but wouldn't it be stronger if the dog found the bone by itself? After all, both dogs have the same ability to smell where it is.

Although you could make those changes and still have a traditional plot line, it would remove the purpose you originally wanted to write about.

Figuring out which pieces of criticism are useful and which are not will come with practice. Always compare them with the outline of your story or the essence of why you wrote it before making any significant changes.

Start Getting Used to Criticism

Feedback is a permanent part of being a writer. There's no avoiding it, so everyone has to learn to embrace the process. Keeping these things in mind should help you get used to hearing negative feedback and determining what's most useful or relevant to your work.

Remember—no one has ever become so great at their craft that they never need constructive criticism. That finish line doesn't exit.

With time and practice, you'll look forward to all kinds of feedback and become a better writer by diving into the process.

#writing #constructive criticism #how to take constructive criticism #writeblr #writers of tumblr #writing advice #writing tips #writing community #writing help #creative writing #writers

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bigskydreaming · 3 years

Note

Hi, I was reading your post about Jason punching Dick in the face when Dick revealed he fake his death was bullshit ( which it was) and it reminded me of an issue/question that has bothered me for sometime.

Why did people believe Dick was actually dead?

I’m not the most avid comic reader so maybe I missed something but it was always weird to me that everyone just accepted this especially given how Bruce was acting or should I say wasn’t acting.

This is a man when his child died another child had to come along and told him sir you are being too violent and emotional you need supervision. When his other child died he went all over the universe to bring him back to life because he knew it was possible ( which was happening at the same time), so why didn’t anyone think it was weird he wasn’t doing that for Dick. Can you imagine Dick really dying that soon after Damian it would be injustice Batman Version. You are telling me that Tim, Jason or Barbara didn’t think it was weird that Bruce didn’t also bring Dick’s corpse to the bring Damian back to life mission or mention it to themselves. Like what more likely Dick dead and Bruce is handling it well or that he fake his death to do something stupid and Dangerous after his partner/brother/ little bit my son the feelings are complicated died after he was knocked out and woke up to his corpse.

Oh man, this is like, the entire nature of my beef?

(Slight derail just to emphasize the fact real quick that Dick DID actually die, he was just revived quickly, but like, the trauma of his death was very real and its not like anyone was clued into Luthor having a resurrection backdoor built into his literal murder of Dick in the actual moment of it happening. So Dick’s death wasn’t fake, and additionally, he didn’t have anything to do with like, telling people about it, because he was literally comatose in the cave and recovering while Bruce was telling people....by the time Dick woke up in the cave, we already know that Alfred at least had already been convinced by Bruce that Dick was dead, so I have a kneejerk need to pushback against the Dick faked his death narrative by reminding people wherever possible that Dick had no agency in the spreading of that narrative.

It happened without him being involved, and the only actual contribution he ever made to it was just not revealing he was alive before Grayson #12, after Bruce like.....emotionally, mentally and physically badgered him into accepting that doing so would be directly harmful to his family and he didn’t want to be the reason more people died when like, people had just died because he ‘let’ himself be captured and interrogated by Power Woman’s Lasso of Submission, did he?

SORRY TO BE PEDANTIC, just wanted to start this off on a clarification, even though I know the aim of your ask was very much in tune with the rest of my response. A lot of people don’t read the actual comics, so like, I’m never gonna skip over an opportunity to emphasize that the shorthand people use to refer to Dick’s death and the year he was with Spyral, is like, literally just shorthand for describing it. Its not actually an accurate description of how all that went down and who had the most hand in it).

BUT ANYWAY. BACK TO THE MEAT OF THE BEEF.

Okay so like, not only was the entire family and Bruce himself giving Dick shit for his death and Spyral, like, PAINFULLY egregious because it was literal victim blaming in every possible sense of the word....

None of it made a LICK of sense with ANY of their characterizations, and they ONLY all accepted it on face value because the Plot Demanded It, and when you're like, no, as a reader I say The Plot Demanded It is not a good enough reason for me to be like well sure, that makes sense......looking at the characters ACTUAL actions at face value pretty much just makes them all look like assholes?

Like, Tim has never gracefully accepted anyone's death. Ever. This is core characterization for him. He will go to the ends of the earth for his loved ones and to bring them back, prove they're not dead, refuse to let death be the final verdict for them. He was tempted to use the Lazarus Pit to bring his parents back to life. He refused to accept Bruce was dead long before he had any proof whatsoever of that theory. He tried to clone his BFF/future-husband Kon in his fucking basement like, dude was two whole inches away from going Full Dark Side in his quest to bring back a lost loved one no matter WHAT the cost.....and then you've got Dick unmasked onscreen, killed offscreen, and Bruce then reporting to the rest of them with zero inflection 'oh Dick's dead now. Its very sad' and Tim's just like, sure. Sounds legit.

I mean?!?!

And you're SO RIGHT ABOUT THE DAMIAN THING! Bruce LITERALLY LITERALLY LITERALLY went BEYOND the ends of the Earth, like, he full on chartered a fucking space ship to fly his whole family out to APOKOLIPS to bring Damian back from the dead by going to EXTREME lengths.....WHILE everyone else thought Dick was dead....

And not a single person looked at Bruce and was like, okay, not that we're not down to do this for Damian because we miss Stabby Smurf something fierce ourselves, but.....what the fuck is UP with you dude? Why aren't you displaying ANY hint of this same kind of energy in regards to your eldest son that you said you watched die right in front of you?

Like....I don't know that we were actually ever told that Dick's coffin was empty or had a fake in it, but like....this family of detectives who refuse to accept death, defy death, COME BACK FROM THE DEAD....not a single one of them said like, okay, if I'm gonna like, ACCEPT accept that Dick is dead and gone for good, I need to at least just see him one last time? That's literally all it would have taken for someone to realize hey something's a little wonky here. Where's the dead body, Pops?

Since when has Jason ever missed an opportunity to prove Bruce is a) full of shit, b) acting like an emotionless robot and all his kids deserve better especially when they've just like....died, c) just factually incorrect and wrong and jumped to a conclusion before it was conclusively proved, d) lying like a liar or e) all of the above?

Nobody even ASKED if Dick's body could be put in a Lazarus Pit? Yeah, Jason wouldn't necessarily recommend it himself, given what it put him through, but actually fuck that, I take that back, because I'm NOT actually of the opinion that Jason full on hates his life and actively spends every second of every day wishing he hadn't been resurrected, even if it had come with a huge buffet of additional trauma and pain.

And that's kinda what's implied when people just take it for granted that he would never be on board with any scenario involving using a Lazarus Pit to bring Dick back, because it suggests that based even just on his own experiences and feelings, he honestly believes Dick would prefer being dead and not have ANY further opportunities to be with his loved ones, his friends, help save the damn world again at some future point.....that Jason, projecting based just off himself, legit feels Dick would rather be dead than have another shot at life even WITH the downsides of Lazarus Pit usage? Nope. Sorry, I don't buy it.

Speaking of not buying it.....you know what was missing from all those soliloquies the others monologued at Dick about how they felt and were hurt and just devastated by his death, to such a point they can't seem to muster a single shred of happiness that he's NOT dead still -

(seriously, Damian was the ONLY person in ALL THE LANDS OF EMOTION-HAVING who expressed ANY kind of positive reaction to having Dick back. We were so fucking cheated of like.....ANY opportunity to have the characters show just how much they valued him by just being fucking HAPPY he was alive, no matter what else was involved....and then most of fandom compounded that by for years being like mmmm, no, Dick didn't get yelled at enough by his family for what HE put THEM through. Needs more yelling. More punching too. Bad Dick. Bad. This is the only way you'll learn not to die and get shipped off on a mission that you don't want but at least is to protect your family after being beaten into it by your dad whilst victim blaming you for dying in the first place. WHEN WILL YOU LEARN TO THINK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE AND THEIR FEELINGS FOR A CHANGE, DICK?!?)

- But like, BUT I DIGRESS aside....you know what was missing from all those monologues about how hard DICK'S death and ensuing year of basically exile from his loved ones was for EVERYONE BUT HIM?

We never got a single line of explanation as to what everyone else officially thinks even happened to him in the first place?

Like, did Bruce straight up just say oh bad news kids, your brother umm. Expired. Spontaneously. There's no one to blame, he just keeled over, its all very sad.

Is that how that went down?

You're telling me that the explanation of Dick's death didn't come with a single pointed finger at someone for this family of blame-happy vigilantes to like, BLAME for the loss of this brother they all mourned oh so much, they just couldn't help but blame him for all the hurt it caused them?

The family that in every other fic is like OBSESSED with avenging and being avenged and all things vengeful and even tangentially vengeance-y....like didn't ask for a single detail on whomst the fuck deprived us of our brother-having?

Where were the attempts on Luthor's life by Jason (who I mean, yeah I know it was in a previous continuity, but erasing that timeline doesn't erase my awareness of the time Dick killed Jason's murderer so like.....mmm, just saying, woulda been nice)....where was the rage directed at the Crime Syndicate and references to how seriously and personally the Batfam took making sure that they were PUNISHED for all this and would never be free to wreak havoc on their world or their family again? What did they tell Damian when he came back to life, and how are you going to tell me that this fraternal little ball of fury didn't aim himself like a cannonball at whomever the fuck had DARED take HIS Batman from him when Damian wasn't around to have his back?

Not only does everyone else's desire to be avenged start falling really flat the second you factor in hey maybe Dick feels "mmm what about MY avenging" sometimes, and why doesn't anyone ever care about doing that for him.....but also, y'know what REALLY sucks about the ONLY person we actually SEE being blamed for Dick's death and ensuing absence being like....Dick himself?

Not only were his family all super keen on making all of this HIS fault and HIM the bad guy because of how it made them all feeeeeeel (and meanwhile fuck his feelings, am I right Batfam hfaklshfklahfkla).....

They somehow found a way to justify prioritizing this OVER ever even getting around to blaming some villain for his death in the FIRST place, in the entire year or so they thought he was still dead!

Like, you couldn't come up with a single target in all that time, but Dick's back two seconds, and you don't even give him a chance to EXPLAIN before you're punching him, shutting him down with 'I expected better from you' and turning away with 'I don't want to hear it, why am I surprised Dick Grayson disappointed me again'?

afshklfhalfhalfhla

Make it make sense!

And like, it won't, cuz it doesn't, and it never will, and like I said at the top, the ONLY reason it all played out this way is because DC doesn't give a fuck about character development and deemed it necessary to go down this way for the sake of the plot (which was totes worth it, I mean, glad we sacrificed characters for this A+ plot which was clearly the greatest plot of all time and definitely justified every story choice made or not made around it loooool).

BUT.

BUT BUT BUT.

The problem isn't JUST that DC is stupid, even though that is an eternal mood and quite the problem.

Its that the SECOND large parts of fandom decided to play along with DC and just accept the story at face value, only add to it and play into it exactly as it happened in canon with no significant deviations, and like, heaping on the LITERAL abuse from Dick's siblings while ignoring the LITERAL abuse from his father....

THAT....is when all of this becomes relevant.

Because the second people decided TO engage with the reasoning DC gave for what Bruce did and how and what Dick did and how and just not mess with any of that and have it all play out exactly like that...

The second people are like, okay we're FINE with not just dismissing this story as OOC writing that doesn't make any sense, and actually VALIDATING it to various degrees by engaging with it as is....

That's when 'OOC writing' stops being an excuse or explanation for alllll of the above gaps in character logic and actions.

Because its like, when you had abundant chance to REJECT this story and say nope, this was bullshit from start to finish and I'm not here for it, when you were just as capable of transforming literally ANY aspect of this story you didn't like into something that made more sense to you....

And you chose not to.

That's.....accepting it as valid writing. You were like, okay, I'm game to just treat this as a thing that happened, just like they said that happened.

For the chance to give Dick shit for it, see. For the angst, see.

And that's when I'm like okay cool, so when engaging with this story as is and accepting it on face value and just delving into the characters as they were SHOWN interacting with and around these events......for the angst or whatever....

You guys just all decided en masse to just hop, skip and jump over allllllllll the opportunities for angst inherent in examining even ANY SINGLE ONE of the above lapses in judgment or hypocrisy on the parts of the characters (who don't get to be excused by OOC writing if you're not going to call the story an example of OOC writing, whoops).

And its just like, uh, what's up with that?

#lol thank you for this ask tho #I havent gone on a good Spyral rant in months #it does wonders for my pores

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1kook · 4 years

Text

A COLLECTION [ updated: 8 . 23 . 21 ]

—NETFLIX & CHILL.

summary If you planned things right, you could rain down your raging displeasure on Jeon Jungkook right after the meal but before this proposed ‘Netflix and chilling,’ maybe dramatically throw your glass of wine at him, before storming out of his place and reporting him to the authorities (Namjoon) for his douchebag personality. warnings smut in the forms of grinding, oral (f), cum eating, vanilla unprotected sex, dirty talk misc use of the oldest trick in the book (“your hands are sooo big”), shy oblivious AND gentleman jk? pick a struggle, brief ment of app developer kook, evil and conniving oc word count 10.2k posted june 12, 2020

—HULU & WOOHOO.

summary But there’s more important matters to attend to than Jungkook’s Jersey Shore boner. warnings slight feelings of insecurity, smut in the forms of fingering, cunnilingus, cum eating, squirting, hand jobs, unprotected sex, riding, slight praise kink misc if you’re not a Jersey shore fan honestly GET OUT, mentions of capitalism😡, more kind/understanding kook, basically a “what are we?” fic but silly, irresponsible emailing habits, its so dumb just read word count 6.3k posted july 4, 2020

—IMAX & CLIMAX.

summary The occasional dark horse candidate among Barbie movie binges— Jungkook gets weirdly horny and fucks you to the tune of a classic Barbie movie soundtrack. warnings smut in the form of blowjobs, tit play, praise kink, standing sex, unprotected sex, reverse cowgirl (? kinda), daddy kink that morphs into ily kink misc jk is an avid history channel viewer, jk hates Barbie movies ik we took an L today girls 😔, jk goes thru like 4 personality changes (commanding > soft > mean > in love), honestly idk what to tag it’s a mess, he’s still cheesy and romantic but also 👀 just read word count 9.8k posted august 5, 2020

—KISSANIME & FOREPLAY.

summary You get a glimpse of the KissAnime screen for a good two seconds before about seven ads pop up. Another tab to a raunchy hentai website opens, and Jungkook groans. warnings mentions of hentai, smut in the forms of cunnilingus, masturbation (f), oral (f), use of a sex toy, fingering, nipple play, face sitting/fucking/riding idk (f), praise kink, hints of dumbification, cum eating, jk is like passive aggressive in this one, 4 (f) orgasms, this is the kicker: sub kook at the end😳, like 2 sec of dom yn lol, & u get 0.002 sec of adams apple kink misc more dumb story lines, made up sex stores bc my creativity knows no bounds, Jungkook plays nice but is actually mean for the majority of it, once again doyeon plays a pivotal role in the furthering of women empowerment, internal love monologues about jk best boy<3 word count 8.2k posted september 1, 2020

—DISNEY+ & BUST.

summary There’s a pounding on your door a little past noon, so hard and rough, that you almost think it’s the police finally coming to catch you for all your years of illegally pirating Phineas and Ferb. It’s not. It’s just a really drunk boyfriend wailing for your forgiveness at the door. warnings arguments, feelings of insecurity, bit of asshole jk, smut in the forms of humiliation, dumbification, choking, fingering, spit kink, self punishment (? idk lol), unprotected but [ passionate ] sex, jk losing his cool, the return of mean jk, desperate jk, he is actually an emotional mess in this one wtf misc angst, anniversaries, the L word😳, app developer kook, rip ‘pretty girl’ </3, we all become phineas and ferb stans word count 13k posted september 9, 2020

—ESPN & BDSM.

summary You would like to personally thank every loud-mouthed, ESPN commentator out there for saving you from Jungkook’s dangerous seduction skills. warnings smut in the forms of brief femdom, handcuffs, nipple clamps, blindfolding, flogging/use of a riding crop, soft dom kook, cunnilingus, spitting, unprotected but passionate, degradation, as always it starts horny n then turns into I love u kink misc kook has a swollen ankle so idk how he did all this, jk abuses the fuck outta pet names part 7, revenge gone wrong tbh, this was honestly a beginner’s intro to vanilla bdsm word count 12.7k posted september 14, 2020

—YOUTUBE & USE LUBE.

summary You can’t believe this is Jungkook’s preferred sick day treatment; YouTube, cuddles, and an ugly amount of lube. warnings smut in the forms of nipple play, handjobs, spit kink, face riding, unprotected, flavored warming lube, riding, praise kink, soft femdom, missionary bc his eyes are pretty, tit sucking, tit fucking, more jk has an impreg kink, oh and this is all subby kook misc domesticity baby!! fluff, soft scenes /.\, jk is sick:((, doyeon is A Doctor, yn sees an opportunity and she grabs it, surprise ending <3 word count 8.7k posted september 30, 2020

—VIKI & HICKEYS.

summary Just like in those Viki dramas Jungkook likes, the world around you is enveloped in shades of pink and red, kisses and hearts, so many goddamn roses it makes you sneeze. It’s absolutely perfect— nothing could possibly go wrong when there’s so much love in the air. warnings a little hurt + a lot of comfort, mentions of cheating!villain!jin, insecure!kook, emotional breakdowns, mentions of jk’s lonely past, jk cries :( smut in the forms of making out, eating out, fingering, clit play, hickeys, jk likes cum, double orgasm, squirting, tiny praise kink, blindfolding, rough + unprotected sex, doggy style, choking!!!, breeding/impreg kink, JEALOUS KOOK, mini hand kink, a lil bit of spanking, degradation, he gets progressively meaner lol oc cries, jk is a good boy n I want him to be happy misc there’s a lot of fuckin plot omfg -_-, it’s Valentine’s Eve!, doyeon makes Some Points, mentions of park seojoon juicy ass, they go on a d8 😳, oc like rlly wants to marry him, oc commits double phone homicide word count 16.3k posted january 14, 2021

—PEACOCK & SWEET TALK.

summary “I wanna watch Solange in Bring It On,” Jungkook smiles, and you have to wonder who exactly this blond man is and what he did with your teen-movie-hating boyfriend. warnings smut in the forms of kissing, cunnilingus (eating out + fingering), light praise, a lil body worship, jk fat cawk, brief nipple play, playful jk, unprotected sex, riding and missionary, the jk hand kink, I love you kink, jk wants nudes, jk’s cheerleader fantasies mentioned, spit kink, light choking, jk has like a scent kink (?), mention of collars and pet play misc app developer jk becomes even MORE app developer-y, oc is anti-google, there's plot, a 2 year anniversary, Solange knowles appreciation, BLOND JK!!!, gets sappy for a sec, seahorse marriage mention, doyeon x joon side pairing, jk is disgustingly dreamy and oc is threatened by that fact word count 10.7k posted march 23, 2021

— CRUNCHYROLL & RAIL.

summary Never mind the fact you really like Sailor Moon, or that you really want to pay attention to every little detail; the moment becomes Jungkook and his big smile and his red cheeks and the tiny box he produces from within his pocket. warnings smut in the forms of making out, jk nipple play, some 69 action, cunnilingus, blowjobs, brief choking, jk trying his best to listen to oc but he doesn’t rlly :/, fingering, missionary bc his eyes are pretty, unprotected fuckin raw, its romantic but when is it not… misc fluffy and domestic <3, weekend getaway <3, the Big Question, shy jk, sailor moon supremacy, jk makes this big elaborate speech about the sun and moon, mentions of 240p YouTube quality word count 8.7k posted may 21, 2021

—FUNIMATION & PROCREATION.

summary Never mind your upcoming wedding, this was perhaps the greatest moment of your life— the day Jungkook sought out an anime on his own. warnings kissing, smut in the forms of cunnilingus, cum eating, mentions of anal, doggy style, unprotected sex with the intention of pregnancy, spitting, hand holding<3 misc the wedding night, Doyeon strikes again, jjk watches jjk, oh no not twins word count 9.1k posted july 31, 2021

—BOOMERANG AND BANG.

coming soon

—COOKIES & CREAM.

summary Jungkook will watch a thousand cheesy Christmas movies if it meant making you happy. (And maybe having his dick sucked.) warnings smut in the form of blowjobs, face fucking, cum facials, fingering, overstim, double orgasm, r*mantic sex, riding, unprotected, cream pies, jk does this weird thing where he licks her face yeah idk, jk loves seeing his gf cry, jk has an obsession with jizz misc jk pov !!, eggnog slander, jk hates xmas movies, oc dresses like a sexy mrs claus, Elf !!, jk is in loooove word count 7.1k posted december 23, 2020

— TUTUS & TIARAS.

summary your first pregnancy through the lens of your husband warnings smut in the forms of penetrative sex, sex while pregnant, unprotected sex, tit play, cunnilingus, mutual masturbation, sticking the tip in and jacking off/cockwarming?, creampies, nose kink (? like she grinds against his nose), infatuation with scent, frottage/grinding, lactation kink, titluvr jk [bass boosted] misc married ncouple <3, domesticity, jk pov, mood swings, pregnancy, GIRLDAD!JK, DILF!JK, pregnant!reader, jk’s kids are virgos its true word count 10k posted august 23, 2021

— one.

summary Maybe Jungkook wasn’t always as cool and composed as you initially believed. But that’s okay, because you love him all the same. word count 1.3k posted September 10, 2020

—two.

summary Even after all these years, all these doubts, and all this solitude that was really no one’s fault but his own, he still finds himself hoping that maybe you’ll be the one. word count 1k posted september 11, 2020

—three.

summary But Jungkook loves the sun. word count 1.5k posted september 12th, 2020

—four.

summary For the last ten minutes or so his mind has been bothered by one thing and one thing only— the hair that hung in his face. word count 800 words posted september 22, 2020

—five.

summary Startled and inexperienced, he can’t do anything but rub his hands over your back. “It’s fine, it’s fine,” he murmurs, even though it’s not. word count 1.3k posted september 22, 2020

—six.

SUMMARY Jungkook enjoyed pushing you down, indulging you in all your little fantasies, but he too had some he wanted to live out. WC 1.8k POSTED september 25, 2020

—seven.

summary And lastly, Jungkook will bring it full circle by indulging you two in some good old fashion spooky sex where he nuts inside you because the only thing scarier than a scary movie is a pregnancy scare. It’s a perfect plan. word count 2k posted october 30, 2020

—eight.

summary You always do this— always ask for more. You take and you take until there’s nothing left for Jungkook to give. But Jungkook is the same. word count 1.9k posted december 28, 2020

—nine.

summary “I think that, like— me and you? We’re like, totally destined,” you ramble, “you should, like, take my number! And maybe we can, like— Netflix and chill one of these days?” word count 2.2k posted january 8 2021

—ten.

summary See, there’s no one in this world who ignores his house rules more than you. Even worse, there’s no one on this planet who can make Jungkook ignore his own rules like you do. word count 1.4k posted february 14, 2021

—eleven.

summary You’re too bright, too… there. His shell is too small. word count 1.2k posted may 3, 2021

—twelve.

summary Anyway, if it was up to Jungkook, Kim Doyeon would not be a member of the Engagement Ring Committee. word count 1.4k posted may 8th, 2021

—thirteen.

summary Because for as much shit as you let him get away with, Jungkook is certain you’ll draw the line today. word count 1k posted june 13, 2021

—fourteen.

summary Jungkook needs you to know that you can always count on him. word count 1.3k posted july 6, 2021

—fifteen.

summary It’s Jungkook’s teenage fantasy— being pushed down by a cheerleader. word count 3.1k posted august 9, 2021

— sixteen.

summary Your skin is warm and smells like sunshine. Jungkook can’t really explain it. (And also like the sunscreen you had doused him in earlier, but that isn’t as romantic.) word count 1.9K posted august 11, 2021

—seventeen.

summary She looks his way and suddenly Jungkook is nineteen again, in his dorm, listening to the first person he ever thought he loved telling him he’s too much to handle. word count 1.6k posted august 18, 2021

beautiful banners made for series!

cute and cozy gif by the lovely @ladyartemesia

LASTLY:

#jungkook smut #jeon jungkook smut #jjk smut #jungkook fic #jeon jungkook fic #ncml #mine

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blazedbakugou · 3 years

Text

movie marathons with the bakusquad

a/n: this is very self indulgent so if you read too much into it... just don’t :) still working on Sero and Mina’s characterization

genre: fluff

warnings: food, aged up characters

word count: 1k

pairings: katsuki bakugou x gn!reader, eijiro kirishima x gn!reader, denki kaminari x gn!reader, hanta sero x gn!reader, mina ashido x gn!reader

k. bakugou

This man… is down catastrophically bad.

Puts up this tough front but behind closed doors and in the comfort of his partner’s arms, he’s such a softie

Will watch Disney princess movies with you but he will also pretend to hate them

You’re currently watching The Princess and the Frog, a classic that just so happens to be one of your favorites

Bakugou rolls his eyes as you sing along to the songs, but deep down inside, his heart swells at your eyes practically sparkle with joy

He tears up at the part where Ray dies and is reunited with Evangeline, though he’ll use the excuse of his eyes burning cus you’ve kept him two hours past his bedtime

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

“You know… Prince Naveen is really cute.” You grin

Bakugou grunts, “Shut up. Don’t go drooling over some stupid movie character when your man is right here.”

He pulls you closer, gently shoving your head onto his chest. Humming as he lets his eyes close, slowly drifting out of consciousness with the comfort of having you beside him quietly singing along to the songs.

His favorite song from the soundtrack: Ma Belle Evangeline yeah he’s a fucking softie so what?

e. kirishima

Similar to Bakugou, he also enjoys watching Disney movies with you except he doesn’t try to hide the fact that he enjoys them

Will plan the marathon an entire week in advance and gets pouty if you forget though a kiss is all it takes to make him feel better

Makes sure to be stocked up on all your favorite snacks and makes you use the restroom before starting because you’re not leaving his lap once the movie starts

Monsters inc. makes him cry every single time, he doesn’t mean to but he just gets so emotional when Sully and Mike say goodbye to Boo

Needs extra hugs and kisses after crying

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

“Promise you won’t make me say goodbye.” He pouts, turning you to face him.

“Nope. Can’t do that.”

His eyes widen in fear, “What? Why not?”

“Gonna have to say goodbye when you go home tonight.” You shrug with a playful grin.

“Then I’m not going home. I’m gonna stay the night and hold you in my arms while we sleep.” Kirishima held you tighter.

His favorite song from the soundtrack: If I Didn’t Have You sings along with you every single time

d. kaminari

This guy is a big fan of Cars and knows the entire script by heart

Wanted a racecar bed when he was a kid but now that he’s an adult, he was finally able to live his dream

Was very disappointed when he found out they don’t make them for people that are bigger than 8-year olds

Always finishes the popcorn within the first 20 minutes of the movie and pouts when he reaches in for more only to come up empty-handed

Isn’t allowed to eat too much candy or else he starts bouncing off the walls with energy

Cracks plenty of stupid jokes during the movie, you love them though

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

“Babe, babe, look.” He taps your shoulder insistently.

You look over at him, “Hm?”

“This one’s for you babe.” Denki winks at you.

He jumps up on the bed and holds the tv remote a few inches away from his face, singing along to the song as he does a little dance. Flops back down beside you dramatically as soon as his favorite verse ends.

“How'd I do?” He grins.

His favorite song from the soundtrack: Life Is a Highway will hop onto the bed and grab the tv remote and sing into it like it’s a mic

h. sero

An avid Toy Story geek even has a Woody toy of his own

Movie nights with him are always very laid back, they usually take place on the couch in the comfiest clothes you own

He always orders food beforehand so you don’t have to worry about preparing any snacks

Likes to do the classic stretch and yawn trick so he can not-so-subtly wrap his arm around your shoulders

Gets really invested in the movie and sometimes forgets you’re there but always snaps out of it before you say anything

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Hanta tips his imaginary cowboy hat at you before adjusting his imaginary belt buckle with a goofy grin. You roll your eyes at him but let him continue the act that you’ve seen too many times to count.

“Ahem,” he clears his throat dramatically, “You’ve got a friend in me, you’ve got a friend in me.”

His purposely awful singing has you bursting into a fit of laughter, which only encourages him to continue.

“Wait… did I just unintentionally put myself in the friendzone?” He stares off in thought, only now paying attention to the lyrics.

His favorite song from the soundtrack: You’ve Got a Friend In Me another guy that likes to sing with you but he’ll purposely miss the notes and make goofy faces to make you laugh

m. ashido

biggest shrek fan out there Biggest Shrek fan out there, her favorite character is Donkey

Likes to treat movie night as a spa night as well and has you try out fun skincare products with her

Constantly roasting Lord Farquaad any chance she gets, she’s absolutely ruthless

Makes the most absurd looking sundaes you’ve ever seen but they're too good to turn down, even if all the sugar makes your stomachs hurt later on

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

You’re minding your business, washing the dishes that had previously been used for your ice cream sundaes when Mina comes up behind you.

“Somebody once told me, the world is gonna roll me!” She pinched your sides.

You gasp, dropping a spoon, “Are you kidding me? You do this every time.”

Mina kisses your cheek before gently pushing you away from the sink and finishing the dishes herself, “Only cus your reaction is just as funny every single time.”

Her favorite song from the soundtrack: All Star firm believer that she will come up to you at the most random of times to scream this song into your ear

masterlist // taglist open // requests open

@combat-wombatus @sunflowersuki

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vetrubius · 3 years

Text

UKAIXFEMREADER!

Ukai responding to you saying "c*m inside me"

Word Count: 1,408

A/N: hEMLOI moi babies, I got an amazing response on DaichixFemReader, I’m so glad so I kinddddd of decided to spice it up for Ukai. I, in no way support toxic relationships. And I wrote it extra long so y’all can feel extra ;)) i haven't proof read this bc its 4 am and im max tired, so i apologise in advance. ALSO DARK ACADEMIA PERSONNA IS JUST SO 😩

Warnings: SMUT, ANGST, toxic relationships, crying, trauma, smoking, alcohol, slight fluff (interact only if you’re 18+), breeding kink

It was like every other afternoon, you by the balcony watching the rain fall on the lane below. Single men with their cigarettes in hands, couples with their arms intertwined under the same umbrella, the cigarette shop where a group of high school boys hung around. The balcony had always been your safe space. It was one of the ways you’d met Keinshin Ukai.

You two had accidentally made an eye contact. You, on your balcony and him, near the shop. He’d adored you the second he’d laid his eyes on you; draped in a white lace tunic and grey shorts which reached your knees. The darkest shade of lipstick which you wore with your hair down, made you look as if you were an angel which arrived right in front of him.

Since then, he’d be there promptly at 7 pm and you at the balcony having many unspoken conversations between the two of you.

You’d run out of cigarettes one morning while you were on your way to your publishing house.You’d always been an avid reader with bottomless thirst for content. It was a good day, you had a meeting with the board head. After putting on a jacket on your mauve camisole, you’d run across the cigarette shop to find your favourites. Had it not been that morning, your numbers would never have been exchanged and future dates wouldn’t have been made for the same evening.

-----flashback-----

The room was heavy with the smell of cigarettes and weed as you popped another bottle of wine.

“I did not take you to be a reader,” Ukai said, taking a puff and keenly maintaining eye contact.

“And I sir, did not take you for a shopkeeper AND a coach” you said, smirking and pouring in his empty glass.

“Well, I do love those boys plus that teacher is very...persuasive?,” he said with a slight cringe and looking u0p. “Don’t get me wrong, he’s very amazing and managed to land us a match with a lot of great teams but he’s very weird, but a good kinda weird you know?”.

Nah you didn’t know. You were too busy admiring him. Of course you were a little young for him but he was too attractive for his age. The blonde with his brown sideburns and three piercings. He looked so sinful.

It dawned on him how you’d been staring at him. And he’d sensed the high tension in the room that was enough to devour the two of you. And that’s when he leaned in slightly, holding the side of your face in your hand. “I know you’ve been wanting me sweetheart. I do too,” he said brushing his lips with yours. “And I think I may fall in love with you this way. The way you’re in my hands right now makes me feel like I'm on an ecstasy high.”

Your lips met and kissed you like it was the last time he was gonna kiss you. Like you were Persephone in the arms of Hades and you were gonna fly away.

You somehow knew. You knew this was it. You were gonna fall so hard for this man. This high felt like you’d finally reached what you wanted and you realised it was gonna hurt you if he ever left.

-----Present-----

“BUT I’M TIRED OF NOT SEEING YOU FOR SO MANY DAYS, JUST BECAUSE YOU’RE GOING WITH THE KIDS DOESN’T MEAN YOU DON’T SEE ME!

AM THEY MORE IMPORTANT THAN I AM?” a sludge of tears and mascara flowing down your face with your bra strap sliding off your arm. It had been too frustrating for you. You’d been missing him to the point you’d wear his remaining scent. You’d stayed up nights wishing you’d hear the door unlock. It was too painful for you.And he refused to understand that.

“You’re fucking overreacting. I’m leaving. I’ll come home after a few days.” he said extinguishing his cigarette on the ivory ashtray you got for his 29th birthday and picking his gym bag up.

“I HOPE YOU NEVER FUCKING COME BACK-” you shouted as he headed for the door. “I think…….. this is it. We’re done.” You said slipping on the floor in a puddle of sobs. This was toxic. You had to leave him. But it was so heavy for you. You could never do that. He was your soulmate after all.

You hear the door shut.

Your fragile heart splits into pieces. Is that it? This is how we end? Your thoughts kept running as fast as a marathon, too fast for you to process.

“It’s fine. I don’t need him anyway. You say turning the lights off of the bathroom and slipping in the empty bathtub and shutting your eyes and being enveloped by sleep.

You felt a hand pat on your head and a bright light in front of you. “Hey sweetheart…”

It didn’t even take a second for you to go on defensive mode and whack his hand off you.

“I miss you. I know what I do is wrong. I know I don’t give you time. I know how much this means to you. I’m sorry. Just a little more, okay? Then I’ll be all yours and I’ll be proud to call the boys ours. I love you, Y/N. I can’t imagine my life witho-”

That’s all it takes for him everytime. Just opening his stupid mouth and you’re off to sprint to his arms. Fucking moron.

“I still hate you” you said between the kisses and pulling his hoodie off. You wanted him. That’s all you cared about. You wanted to hurt him but no matter what, you couldn’t. “I hate that you make me feel this way. But I love you more and this is your last chance. Make me happy or I leave.”

He whooped you up in his arms and carried you to the bed “And why would I let you leave? You’re mine.” He said keeping you and hovering on top of you with his biceps bulging. Amd slowly kissing your face, jaw and neck

“You’re the greatest thing that has happened to me, I’ll never let you go Y/N” Ukai said as his lips were dangerously close to your cleavage.

He spent a good 30 minutes between your thighs like a lapdog. Licking up any blessing you had to offer. His eye contact never breaking, his fingers working their ways through your pussy, his tongue overstimulating your clit. “I know you like this, my love. It’s been twice in 35 minutes I think my dick needs a little bit of it too.” He said getting up and unbuckling himself. Your eyes now watery with the overstimulation and throat dried up.

“I want a baby….I want a reason for you to come home to if not me.” You said rasply.

‘What do you mean, sweets? Can you elaborate on the making baby part?”

“I want you to come inside me. Tonight.”

He grabbed your thighs mercilessly and shoved himself inside. “Whatever she wants, she gets. I’m gonna fuck you until you’re dripping and then make sure that the mini us knows how much I love you and you’re worth coming home to both of you.” he whispered in your ear.

He gave you a few seconds to adjust to him inside you. “M-mmmoveEE PLEASE” you whined against his shoulder. Without losing a single second, you felt your body split. You knew he’d been abstaining from sex. But this feeling was so overwhelming to both of you.

The air was filled with moans, squelches and the mix of smell of cigarettes and lavender. You felt him speed up. Missionary had always been a weak spot for Keishin. Your mouth drooling over your cheeks, your eyes half shut, your body limping and the way your boobs bounced under you. it has always been a turn on for him.

You felt him speed up. His name falling out of your mouth as you were blinded by the speed he was going at. “I….I’M COMING BABE” you grind your thighs through as his walls white wash you inside.

He climbed off of you to adore your cunt stuffed with his cream, dripping on the white sheet with a light brown floral pattern.

“I love you, Y/N. Don’t ever think I don’t wanna come home and not see you. You’re the only thing I have.”

series masterlist

#ukai smut #ukai x reader #haikyuu ukai #ukai scenario #haikyuu smut #haikyuu x you #haikyuu x reader #nishinoya smut #kageyama smut #asahi smut #tanaka smut #kiyoko smut #karasuno smut #ukai angst #haikyuu angst #angst #haikyuu fluff #ukai fluff

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hawkwhore · 3 years

Note

hi hi hi could i request a hawk imagine where it’s an enemies to lovers kinda thing, so hawk is still in cobra kai and y/n is in miyagi do. basically tori hurts her and he sees her after and gets protective over her, then they get close and kinda secretly date... something like that haha THANK YOUUU <33333

Do Better — Eli Hawk Moskowitz x Female!Reader

HI OMG IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG. I literally had an entirely different fic at like 8k words for this before I decided it didn’t fit close enough to the prompt and I just completely started over and this one was even longer than the first so that’s why it took me literal ages LOL.

includes; swearing, fluff, fighting, so much angst

words; 11,394 (im sorry its a whole ass novel)

this takes place late s2, after demetri and hawk’s friendship ends but before eagle fang forms!

Most of your time in high-school you spent in a bubble, keeping to yourself and just your few friends. You didn’t involve yourself in other people’s crap very often, but when an all-out karate war happened at the end of your junior year, you couldn’t keep lurking in the shadows anymore.

Bullying was becoming heavy at your school, and while you weren’t usually a target, you grew tired of watching other people get hurt. Primarily, by a familiar face to you-- Eli Moskowitz.

Not that you knew him particularly well, but you remembered the shy boy you’d shared classes with, and you always tried your best to be nice to him knowing how others treated him.

You never would’ve thought that now he’d be the bully, destroying the confidence of other kids who were just like him.

“Look at this kid,” He laughed to his friend, Mitch. The two boys were standing in the hall, hovering over a small, scrawny boy who looked terrified. “You wanna be in Cobra Kai? Well, see, we had to be un-flinched first. We can do that for you right now, though. See how much you can take.” He teased, threatening a punch, watching the boy wince at his movement.

When you were in the halls on your way to your next class, you witnessed this horrible incident. You watched for a moment, before deciding that it was time for you to step out of your bubble. “Hey, leave him alone.” You said annoyedly, urging the boys to give it up.

Hawk turned to you and leered, and Mitch pushed the kid against the locker so he wouldn’t move while they dealt with you. “Be careful who you talk to like that, princess.” He moved dangerously close, and despite the feelings of anger you had towards him, your stomach dropped a little at the nickname.

Not letting it affect you, you came back bitterly. “Oh yeah? And who am I talking to, Eli?” His face contorted in disgust at the use of his real name. “You know, it’s sad, how you became everything you used to despise. I remember the other side of you, you were sweet..” You said, smiling to your self in remembrance. “And now look at you.” Looking at him in resentment, you finished.

Turning angrily on his heel at your words, Hawk punched the boy in the face and let him go running. He looked back at you with a look of victory, and Mitch smirked. “You better watch your back.” Hawk said threateningly, and knocked his shoulder into yours as he walked to his class.

Through the rest of the day, Hawk thought about you. He knew who you were; Y/N, the only girl to ever be nice to him during his shier days. He remembered the feeling he got any time you’d talked to him, and also how pretty you looked each time you did.

He had almost forgotten until then, how much he had always admired you. He even wanted to ask you out all that time ago, but now too much has changed. Way too much, clearly, because when the commercial for Miyagi-Do came out, you were quick to join.

It was that interaction with Hawk that really set you off, actually. You wanted to be able to stop the cruelty, and you thought that joining Miyagi-Do for defense would be a good start.

Little did you know, the rivalry would only grow.

As weeks passed, Miyagi-Do gained students and flourished. But in the meanwhile, Cobra Kai only got rougher, angrier, and just.. worse, in general.

You had done your best to avoid fights, (like a true Miyagi-Do would) but on a particularly bad day of yours, you were unlucky enough to find yourself running into Tory outside of school.

Being close friends with Sam, you knew to stay clear of Tory after hearing what she did to her. You thought Tory was a vile human being, though, and if she were to start anything-- she was probably the one person you wouldn’t hesitate to absolutely destroy.

When on your way to the dojo, you took a pit stop at a convenience store to pick up some snacks since you had some time to kill between after school and when practice started. You were met with an unpleasant surprise on your way out, when you saw Tory approaching the store.

The two of you made eye contact as you crossed paths, and you decided to ignore her and keep walking. Until, as you walked past each other, Tory stuck out her leg and tripped you over the concrete pathway.

“Are you kidding me, bitch?” You pushed yourself up, scoffing at her, and she smiled maniacally. “What’d you just call me?” She teased, obviously looking for a fight.

As much as you wanted to stay calm, you were pushed over the edge. “You heard me, bitch.” You repeated, letting her know you were not afraid. “What’s your problem? I keep away from you and you just can’t help yourself from starting something. I’ve never even done anything to you.” You confronted Tory, looking for an explanation for her behavior.

It was true, you’d hardly ever interacted with her-- but since you’re in Miyagi-Do and friends with Sam, she just didn’t like you. And Tory being Tory, if she didn’t like someone, she was going to be a bitch about it.

She laughed at your attempt to reason with her, and looked at you in self-satisfaction. “I just think it’d be fun to watch you bleed.” She seemed proud at the insult, stepping forward threateningly-- but you thought it was pretty lame.

Clearly, she had no real answer for the questions you asked her. She was far gone in her own world, using only anger to dictate her decisions.

You had let out a disappointed sigh, shaking your head, and turned to simply leave the situation, remembering that it wasn’t worth it. But Tory had other plans.

She grabbed your wrist, twisting it painfully forcing your body to face her. You quickly rotated it to release yourself from her grip, and punched her in the face with your newly freed hand.

“Leave me alone, Tory. This fighting for no reason crap is bullshit.” You said, stepping out of her proximity and holding your fists up in case of needed defense. Tory felt blood trickle from her nose, and as she wiped it from her face, she threw you a sickening sneer.

Seemingly avid on letting her rage out on you, she only continued. “You’re pathetic.” She cackled, taking a swing at you. You blocked this, but the movement left an opening for her to then kick your stomach, which sent you to the ground.

Before you could manage to get up again, she was hovering over you, punching your face repeatedly. It wasn’t until the pain was sinking in that you finally gained enough power to push her off, rolling forward and pinning her down tightly.

You grabbed a fistful of her hair, turning her face towards the ground. “Give it up, Tory.” She stayed quiet, breathing heavily, until she used her remaining strength to free her arm and dig her elbow into your side.

You fell back at this, and you were now both sat on the ground, mere inches from each other. “Seriously, I mean what’s the point? What are you gaining from this besides a couple of bruises?” You stood up, asking again.

You genuinely wanted to know, what could make a person so heartless. You had done nothing to provoke her, yet she was so intent on hurting you. Your question had unfortunately only sparked her rage again, the way you acted so ‘above it all,’ in Tory’s mind made her only angrier.

She rose, charging towards you for another strike, when the owner of the convenience store came out. “What the hell is this? Do I need to call the police?” The man asked. He had caught you in the blocking position of Tory’s attack, and she bitterly pushed herself off of you.

“You got lucky.” She spat, walking back towards the store she was originally on her way into. “Think about it, Tory! Why?” You yelled as she walked away, wanting your final words to sink into her.

You assured the owner that you were fine, and that he didn’t need to get the cops involved. You took out your phone and checked your complexion in the front camera, cringing seeing the cuts and bruises from Tory’s punches all over your face.

But remembering the bloody nose you had given her in your first punch, you smiled to yourself. Looking at your phone’s clock, you had certainly killed the time, but much more than you had wanted to. You were going to be late, so you texted Sam, alerting her that you got in a fight (sparing the details for later,) and that you would be late to practice.

You figured you could just clean up your cuts when you got home, it wasn’t a big deal, probably. But on your walk to the dojo, a passing car slowed at the sight of you. You started walking faster, instantly assuming the worst, but when the window rolled down, you heard a familiar, extremely unpleasant voice. Hawk.

“On your way to practice, huh? Still no car?” He taunted, knowing you still hadn’t saved up enough to buy your own. You glanced at him and rolled your eyes, continuing to walk down the sidewalk. How many enemies were you going to bump into today?

That was when he noticed your face. “Jesus, Y/N, what happened to you?” He laughed, fully stopping the car. You halted and responded annoyedly, “Tory happened. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to be late.” Turning back towards the walkway, you continued down the street.

But before you could get far, Hawk had gotten out of his car and caught up to you. “You’re not seriously headed to the dojo like that are you?” He said confusedly, trying to keep up with your pace.

You looked at him like his question was stupid, and continued walking. At your ignoring of him, he pushed his point further. “You need to clean those cuts.” He said, still following close behind you as you walked.

“Since when do you care?” You said irritated, continuing to disregard the boy’s words. At this, he finally stopped following. “You know what, fine.” He stood, speaking sharply, and you looked at him curiously at his abruptness. “Just trying to help, or, be nice or whatever.” He muttered aggravatedly, raising his hands in mocking surrender at your attitude.

You had ignored his concerns, because quite honestly you didn’t believe he was actually concerned. You had assumed it was some sort of set up for a new insult, or a way to just mess up your face even more.

“Oh yeah? That’s pretty unusual for you, isn’t it?” You said rudely, engaging back in the conversation. Hawk pursed his lips together and shifted uncomfortably.

You didn’t know it, but Hawk still cared about you. He may have changed, but his feelings for you hadn’t— as much as he tried to get them to. And right now, seeing you hurt, and since there was nobody around to judge him for it, he wanted to help you.

“Look, I’ve got some first aid stuff in my car. Let me help.” He stayed where he was, not wanting to provoke you, and spoke softly, nudging his head towards his car.

You narrowed your eyes looking at him, feeling skeptical of accepting the invitation. He noticed your hesitation, but did not back down, looking at you expectantly for an answer.

You let out an exasperated sigh, and walked towards his car without saying a word. Continuing to argue with him about it seemed like a waste of time to you at this point.

Hawk smiled to himself in relief that you gave in. Hurrying after you, he retrieved the first aid kit from the trunk of his car and ran to open the passenger seat door.

“You wanna sit?” He pointed at the seat, motioning you to take it. You dropped your bag and got in the car, still glaring at Hawk.

He seemed sincere in his intentions, but you really just wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. Who knows what he could really be planning?

As you took your seat, you reached out to take the kit from Hawk’s grasp. “Hold on,” he said, moving the box away from your reach.

You gave him a bothered look, scrunching your eyebrows in confusion. “Have you ever even done this before?” He said, referring to cleaning up after a fight.

“No?” You shrugged, “It can’t be that hard.” You said impatiently, reaching for the box again. “Can you please just let me do it? I’ll show you how for next time.” He practically pleaded, wanting to make sure it was done right so you healed properly.

You didn’t understand why it was such a big deal to him, but you were tired of going back and forth with him. “Whatever, just make it quick. I’ll miss all of karate class at this rate.” You complained, moving closer to the edge of the seat so Hawk could reach you.

The height of his car made you two the same height, so Hawk was face to face with you as you were seated. “Hmm, miss a Miyagi-Do lesson? I don’t see the problem.” He joked, almost making light of their rivalry.

You smiled lightly at that, playfully rolling your eyes, but not saying anything. He stood close enough to examine your face, and it was close enough to make you both nervous.

It was silent as he opened the kit and started to clean your cuts, but you broke it to ask a question that was burning in you. “Why are you doing this?”

He looked at you for a second, looking reluctant to answer your question. “What do you mean?” He dodged, continuing to tend to your bruises.

You laughed, knowing full well he knew what you meant, but deciding to answer him anyway. “Why are you helping me? We aren’t friends.” You said plainly, making sure to keep your face still.

“I don’t know, you just obviously needed it.” He brushed off the seriousness of the question, starting to dab the cloth over your lip so you couldn’t talk.

You pushed his hand away lightly. “That’s hardly an answer. You’d never help a Miyagi-Do, so why?” You snapped, not letting his hand near your face again until he answered.

He finally took a step back, and stared at you looking defeated. “You’re the only one who was ever nice to me. Before.. this.” He pointed to his hair, referring to the era of The Hawk.

You crossed your arms skeptically. “Aren’t you forgetting someone?” You asked expectantly, and he rolled his eyes. “Demetri’s different, okay? He betrayed me. But you..”

He trailed off, struggling to maintain eye contact with you. “You were never anything but good to me. You deserve better.” He said, and your heart both stung and fluttered at once, trying to figure out what was going on with him.

You wondered if his actions were truly coming from a place of sincerity. It was very unlike him to be anything but an asshole, so hearing something like that come out of his mouth really made you think.

He tried to ignore the sentiment he had just said by walking back towards you and starting to tend to your wounds again, but you only pushed him back for a second time.

“I don’t understand what happened to you.” You said sadly, examining the way he stood. “I changed.” He said monotonously, trying to avoid matching your energy of seriousness.

His hot-and-cold temper was starting to annoy you, the way he would open up just to close right back down again.

“Yeah, and not for the better. Are you even happy?” You said, frustrated, looking at him hard. His face turned sour.

“More than I was before!” He yelled, stepping towards you threateningly. You were taken aback at his outburst, suddenly feeling small as he grew angrier. “My life was hell, remember?” His voice cracked, and he tried to calm himself as he saw the way you leaned back into your seat uncomfortably.

“Look, I’m sorry for keeping you, I probably cleaned you up enough so... just go.” He said softly, sounding regretful as he moved out of the way so you could get out of the car.

You furrowed your brows in confusion. You felt completely clueless on how he was feeling, and you didn’t want to leave it like this. “Hawk-“, you started, but he cut you off. “No, just go.” He pointed away. “I was stupid to think I’d get a second chance with you.” He muttered to himself, turning to walk around to the drivers seat of his car.

“Wh— second chance? What do you mean?” You shouted after him and hopped off the seat, grabbing his arm before he could get too far.

At your tug of his arm, he looked back at you with the most intense feeling in his eyes. Not wanting to use his words anymore, Hawk turned to grab your wrist from the hand that was already resting on his arm, and pulled you against him.

Hawk smashed his lips onto yours, holding you loosely in fear of your rejection. You weren’t expecting it, but you didn’t pull away. Your kiss continued and you subconsciously shuffled backwards, now being able to lean against the side of the car as he grew more passionate in his movements.

Being with him like this felt amazing, but it was confusing, too-- you had to pull away and clear up this situation.

Finally letting each other go, Hawk looked at you with glossy eyes. You had no idea where all of this came from or what to say, so you were silent as you waited for him to explain.

He knew what you were waiting for, and sighed deeply before expressing how he felt. “I just feel like after everything, I owe you my best.” Hawk said quietly, and you waited for him to go on, having not yet made up your mind on the whole situation.

You enjoyed the kiss, yes-- but you didn’t understand why it had happened, and that was something you needed to know before anything could proceed further. Hawk was a jerk, and he was going to have a lot of explaining to do for you to suddenly be able to forget that.

He moved even closer, and reached his hand out to brush your hair away from your face. “And I don’t like seeing you hurt.” He whispered, ghosting his fingers across the bruises on your face.

You felt a shiver down your spine as he touched you, closing your eyes in the moment. “And,” he pulled away from you, his voice changing to a more regular tone again, “I don’t ever want to be the reason you feel pain. Not after all those times you helped me escape mine.” He said, reaching out to hold your hand, as he referred to how you were there for him so long ago.

Pure concern and care for Hawk overtook you as the words left his lips, and you had never felt so conflicted in your life. It made sense to you now why he would often avoid you, whereas others he’d make it his mission to pick fights with.

He had just admitted to caring about you, and that he never wanted to be at fault for your hurt. He had a reputation to uphold, but he really did have a soft spot for you that never went away.

You felt like you were talking to Eli again, as though the sweet boy he once was had never left, but you also knew that once this moment was over, he’d go back to his corrupt ways again. And that terrified you.

All these new feelings for Hawk were rising in you, but how could you act on them when he was supposed to be your enemy?

He studied your expression, waiting for you to say something. He felt more confident now, seeing as you kissed him back, but he was still nervous for whatever you were about to say.

“What do we do?” You spoke shakily, your expression timid and lost. He caressed his thumb over your hand, noticing your own nerves. “What do you mean?” He asked, not expecting that to be your first question.

“I’ve always cared about you and you know that, but then you go through all these changes and become a total dick, and now you kiss me and tell me how you care too.” You say awkwardly, trying to point out the weirdness of the situation. “I’m confused, Hawk, and afraid. We can’t be together when everything about our lives will keep us apart.” You whimpered, scattering your eye contact.

His heart leapt at the mention of you two being together, but frowned once registering the context of the words. He suddenly felt guilty, seeing how distressed you were. Maybe he shouldn’t have done this, he thought.

But it was too late now, and as he released your hand to move forward and hold you, he never wanted to let go.

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled into your ear. He knew his recent actions since joining Cobra Kai weren’t exactly admirable-- he knew he should do better. But it was hard; and all he could muster right now, was an apology.

There was a lot to process in such a short moment of time, and you felt overwhelmed. You felt comforted and safe as he held you, but at the same time you felt wrong for feeling that way.

Maybe he was trying to do right by you, but would that be enough if he continued to act terribly when everyone else was around? You needed some time to think. “I should go.” You pulled away from his grasp, trying to be gentle even though your exit was abrupt.

“Oh,” he nodded, watching as you picked up your karate bag. “I just don’t want everyone at the dojo to worry.” You said, trying to rid the conversation of its tension.

He was trying to play it cool, but he was screaming on the inside, terrified that once you left you would never talk to him again. “Just promise you’ll fix that when you get home.” Referring to your still-slightly-messed-up face, he urged you, unable to refrain from making sure you took care of yourself.

You smiled sadly and nodded in response, feeling awkward about everything as you turned to walk back on your route towards the dojo. “And um,” You looked back at him once more. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone.” You said, assuming he wouldn’t want his Cobra Kai friends to find out he had kissed a Miyagi-Do.

His heart broke when you said this-- you basically thought he was ashamed of you? In a way you were right, he didn’t want them to know. But the guilt that spread across his face at your words, showed how badly he wanted to tell everyone just how much he liked you.

Clearing his throat, he tried to pull himself together again. “Right, yeah. See you.” He said, and watched you for a moment as you walked away.

Getting back into his car, he fought the emotions threatening to spill out, and pushed them away as he headed home. He couldn’t stop thinking about his next move, and what would happen next time he saw you.

Obviously the first thing he would want to do is kiss you, and hold you, and touch you.. but he knew that instead he would likely end up being encouraged by his friends to attack you in some way.

He couldn’t just say, ‘back off guys, she’s cool, i like her now.’ because that would definitely earn him a beating and a seat at the rejects table. He had been fighting these feelings for so long because of this exact reason, and he was pissed at himself that he couldn’t have just kept it under control for longer.

It would have been easier for him, and you. Even you were worrying as you walked to practice about what you were going to do when you saw him again. Your friends may be more forgiving than Hawk’s, but you doubted they’d be particularly thrilled about any of this news.

They would surely tell you to be careful, not to trust him, that it was just a game to find a weakness in you. These doubts inflicted your mind constantly, and it sucked that you had to figure all of it out on your own.

You were a half-hour late to karate when you arrived, and luckily Sensei Larusso had the tools to heal the remaining injuries on your face. You explained what happened with Tory, but you didn’t tell them about Hawk.

Your classmates were angry, Sam especially, and you were too. But after everything, you knew nobody in Cobra Kai was really in their right mind. Tory was an out of control girl with aggression issues, and Hawk was constantly battling a feeling of pressure and pent-up rage.

The worst thing about being in Miyagi-Do, was knowing the right way to go, and knowing that the right way was going to be a long, slow, and difficult process. It was a waiting game at this point-- how many fights would it take for the Cobra Kai kids to realize that wasn’t what they needed to do?

How much pain would they all have to endure, to realize there were better ways to solve their problems? You had only hoped that Hawk taking this step towards you was a step in the right direction-- and that maybe the rest of the Cobras would soon follow.

But until then, it was a secret. And the next few times you saw Hawk were an extreme struggle for the both of you.

Each passing day that you’d make eye contact at school, you’d both immediately look away. Neither of you had spoken or even texted since the kiss, and you were both failing miserably at proper communication.

At first, you thought that maybe the whole thing had been a mistake, and maybe it should just be left alone. But recalling everything Hawk said to you that day, you couldn’t ignore how real it felt. You wanted to be with him, but you had no clue how to go about that.

You were waiting for Hawk to make the next move, but to Hawk-- the ball was in your court. You had left him there, with no definite answer on how you felt about it, and never got back to him since. It seemed to him like you wanted to forget about it, so when one of Moon’s parties rolled around that weekend, he decided to forget about it too.

You were coming to the party, but got there late; and what a wonderful sight it was for the first thing to see as you walk in be Hawk, face inches away from another girl’s, flirting the night away.

Of course, you thought, feeling disgusted at what was in front of you. Of course everything he said was bullshit. You couldn’t figure out for the life of you what his goal was in pretending to care for you, especially when he got basically nothing out of it except a stupid kiss he could’ve gotten from anyone-- but clearly none of it was as real as you thought it was.

It’d been a few days, sure, but you thought maybe tonight you’d finally just talk to him. You watched as the girl played with the string of Hawk’s hoodie, and feeling a pang of jealousy you decided to walk by them, making sure your presence was known.

It definitely worked, because at the notice of your movements he excused himself from the conversation and followed you out towards the pool, where you had gone to get away from the sight of Hawk and the girl.

“Hey.” He whispered, as you poured yourself a drink. “Hi.” You replied boredly with your back turned to him, not exactly feeling excited to have a conversation with him.

He looked around, scoping out who may be listening, but luckily the only others outside were heavily invested in the drinking game going on at the other side of the patio.

Hawk could tell you were bothered about the girl, but didn’t understand why, since you had so obviously been avoiding him.

“Can we talk?” He asked, still being cautious as to not attract any attention. “Go ahead.” You were being difficult, but quite frankly you thought he deserved it. He made you spend days analyzing what had happened between you, only for him to move on from it after a few days?

He stomped closer, and you looked up at him. “You know we can’t talk here.” He nodded his head towards the back of the yard, hoping you’d go with him somewhere private.

You scoffed, and looked at the spot doubtfully. You were upset, but still curious to hear what he had to say. “Fine.” You rolled your eyes, feeling disappointed in yourself for giving in, but you couldn’t pretend you weren’t dying to know what the hell he was thinking.

Hawk walked eagerly to the secluded part of Moon’s property, hoping to get some clarity from you. But before Hawk could say anything, your anger got the best of you.

“So what the hell is your problem?” You started, as soon as you knew you were out of earshot from the rest of the party. Hawk looked taken aback, his eyebrows immediately coming together. “Me? What are you talking about?” He said, offended.

You looked at him in disbelief, mouth dropping open slightly. “Are you joking? Are we going to pretend you weren’t just about to make out with that girl in there?” You said, feeling a twinge of hurt from your own words.

His face knotted in confusion and annoyance. “Seriously? You’re jealous right now? After I confessed everything to you, and you avoided me for days afterwards, I was just supposed to think you actually wanted me?” He tried to keep his voice down, but his emotions were getting the better of him.

“What? I just needed some time to think! It’s not like you bothered to text me either!” You whisper-shouted, now feeling like you were missing something.

“Well when you kiss someone and they basically run away from you, who’s responsibility do you think it is to reach out after?!” He threw his arms up in bafflement, looking at you expectantly.

Your face fell to a look of guilt, and eventually his did too. Suddenly you both felt like idiots at how far you jumped to conclusions.

“I was gonna talk to you today. But when I saw you in there with that girl, all these insecurities just came over me. I thought everything you said was just some Cobra prank and it never meant anything.” Your face drooped, feeling a little embarrassed to admit any of this.

His eyes saddened, and he shook his head. “And I just thought you hated me, and that no matter what I said it’d never be enough for you to forgive me.” He explained his own worry, and your eyes started to water at his words.

Feeling overwhelmed after finally being able to piece together what had been going on this whole time, you sprung into his arms, hugging him tightly. You both stayed embraced, enjoying the feeling of comfort from each other once again, until you finally felt strong enough to pull yourself away.

He kept a hand around your head, as though cradling something delicate. “I meant everything I said that day. It’s not a scheme. I want to be with you.” He told you, proving your suspicions wrong.

You smiled weakly, feeling warm at his confession, but nervous for what’s to come. “I’m sorry I never texted you, but I just don’t get how we’re going to do this.” You said, unconvinced. “We can’t tell anyone, and despite whatever we have, there are a lot more reasons why we won’t work than will.” You look away, your mood of happiness faltering at the idea of being realistic.

“I mean, you know I like you Hawk. And maybe it’s different for us, but, I can’t exactly support the way you treat other people.” You say reluctantly, trying not to sound rude. Hawk gulped, looking down shamefully.

Not wanting to think realistically right now, he ignored what you said and pulled you closer. “We’ll figure it out.” He said sweetly, and moved his hand to lift your chin, kissing you tenderly. As nervous as you were about all of it, the way he kissed you somehow seemed to make all your worries disappear.

Just then as your lips met, sirens went off nearby. “Shit, cops?” Hawk said, breaking apart from you. You giggled at the unfortunate turn of events. “You go that way,” you pointed him in the opposite direction of where you were planning to exit, not wanting others to notice you were together. “See you around.” You said playfully, and he caught on to your plan.

Before he could give you a final peck or even say goodbye, you were gone around the corner of the house, and he wondered longingly when he’d finally be able to kiss you again.

The next couple days at school you’d both done your best to avoid looking suspicious with each other. There were many stolen glances, and lots of private texts, but you both somehow managed to keep whatever fling you two had completely under wraps.

Though you had been initially uncomfortable with the whole secret-dating-thing, you eventually gave up on worrying about what would happen if others found out. You were happy, and having a lot of fun sneaking around with Hawk.

You noticed he had even toned down some of his bullying, and your heart felt full at the thought that he might have done that for you. Of course, there were always a few ‘slip-ups’.. but he made sure you weren’t around to see those.

Even if it was difficult, it was thrilling in a way-- having make-out sessions in his car when no one was around to see, and slipping in through each others’ windows at night to see each other...

It was fun, pretending to hate each other by day, and then not being able to stay away from each other by night. It felt like the whole school was being pranked, and you two were the only ones in on it.

It had been a few weeks now since you admitted to liking each other at Moon’s party, and you were now headed to the sports shed near the soccer field where Hawk had asked you to meet him after school.

You’d came here and gotten a little wild with him twice before, so at the invitation you fully expected to be met with an aggressive Hawk, ready to hook up. But instead when you opened the shed door, he was standing shyly and gave you the sweetest smile.

“Hey,” he said, taking a small step forward to meet where you were standing. “Hi, baby,” you grinned and kissed him chastely, taking note of the more innocent energy coming from him today.

He wrapped his arms around you, his eyes examining your face adoringly. “Um,” he said, radiating nervousness and backing up slightly. “What’s up?” You smiled at him curiously, taking his hands in yours.

After only a moment, he released his hands from your hold, and you suddenly felt concerned. Why was he acting so weird? You watched confusedly as he fiddled with the inside pocket of his jacket, not saying a word.

Pulling out a small box, he opened it to reveal a simple but beautiful silver necklace. “Hawk!” You gasped, looking at it in awe. He felt more confident at your reaction, and felt safe to say something again.

“I thought that, since we always have to act around each other, you could wear it as a reminder of how we really feel.” He said, searching your expression for some sort of approval.

You stared at him in admiration, not yet able to find the words to respond. “It’s simple, so nobody will think it means anything, but, we’ll know.” He spoke again, hoping for it to grant a response from you this time.

Your face began to bloom with happiness. Taking the box from his hands, you kissed him passionately. “I love it. Can you put it on me?” You asked cheerfully, and Hawk smiled brightly. “Yeah,” he nodded excitedly, turning you around.

You did your best to move your hair out of the way, and Hawk gently pushed the few stray strands to the side. Feeling his fingers brush across your skin, you breathed heavily. You could feel his own breath hot on your neck, as he clasped the two ends of the jewelry together.

With your back still against his torso, he placed his hands around your waist, starting to leave soft kisses against your ear, and down towards your collarbone.

You closed your eyes, soaking in the feeling, until the door of the shed barged open. You stumbled away from each other in shock, and looked to see Tory standing in front of the both of you.

“I knew it! What the hell is this, Hawk?” She screamed, prowling towards you. Feeling completely unprepared from the utter suddenness of the situation, you stepped back in fear. “What are you doing here!?” Hawk shouted, ignoring Tory’s question as he blocked her path from getting to you.

She sneered at the both of you, stopping as she noticed his protectiveness over you. “I’ve noticed how you sneak off at the end of school. I finally decided to follow you here.” She said matter-of-factly, giving you a glare.

“So what is she, Hawk? Your girlfriend?” She taunted, starting to circle you. Out of everything she’d said so far, that was the thing that actually made you the most nervous. You hadn’t actually used that word before... ‘girlfriend,’ you hadn’t really made it official, despite how much it felt like you already had.

You weren’t sure how Hawk would react now that he was caught, but you desperately hoped he would say, ‘Yes, she is, and I love her.’ But that was nowhere close, to what he said.

“What? No! We’re just having some fun, alright? It doesn’t mean anything.” He forced a laugh, stepping away from you. Your heart ached. This is what you were afraid of. You knew it was probably for the best for him to have said that, but you couldn’t ignore the hurt you felt when you heard him say it.

You wished he would’ve right then and there just admitted it, stood up for himself, and chosen you. He could’ve just told the truth, and left Cobra Kai, and been with you. But you weren’t enough. He had a reputation to uphold.

“Oh, really.” Tory scoffed, barely believing his lie as she looked between the two of you. “You can have fun with anyone, Hawk, and you a choose a Miyagi-Do?” She spat, staring him down, and his usually-confident demeanor diminished instantly. “Break it off, or I tell everyone.”

Storming off, her threat lingered in the air as the two of you stood alone, unable to meet each other’s gazes.

“Maybe we should just end this, Y/N.” Hawk spoke meekly, finally breaking the silence. Your eyes widened in horror, forcing yourself to look up at him. “What?” You said, your voice faltering. “So that’s just it then?”

Tears threatened to spill out of your eyes again as he met your stare. “We don’t have any other choice!” He shouted angrily, getting in your face. Your mouth fell agape at the way he was acting, your expression hardening.

“Yes, we DO!” You shouted back, and sobs started to escape you. You of course meant the choice being he stands up to the Cobras, and fights for your relationship. You understood his dilemma in the beginning, but at this point none of it seemed worth it to you anymore.

His eyes were fixated on you intensely, and his mind was running a mile a minute trying to figure out what to do.

“You can easily stand up to them, the Cobras! You’re stronger than all of them combined. Why won’t you fight for us?” You cried, searching for any sign in his face that showed he regretted his words. He had never said so, but you could tell the only thing holding him back was the fear of the Cobras’ reactions.

His insides scrambled with guilt watching you cry. But he had to stay strong. Unaffected, unfazed, completely unbothered. That’s how he forced his expression to appear as he turned and left the shed, leaving you alone and in pain as you watched your worst fear come true.

“Hawk!” You yelled after him, but he only kept walking. “What happened to never wanting to be the reason I felt pain?” Your voice cracked, and you wiped your tears from your face, giving up.

Your words cut into Hawk like a knife. If even possible, Hawk was hurting more than you. Each step he took farther away from where you stood, he felt his heart scatter into another piece. He wished things could be different, too-- but you were too much of a risk.

Cobra Kai may be a large reason for his troubles, but it was also the only reason he was still on top. He wanted you so bad, but he was too afraid to let go of everything else just to have you.

It was safer this way, he told himself. If nobody knew, you’d be safer. You wouldn’t have to be involved in the drama that would come from it, you wouldn’t have another reason for the Cobras to come after you, and you wouldn’t have to worry about him anymore.

Hawk repeated these things to himself over and over to make himself feel better about the way things ended. But no matter what he told himself, it was never enough for him to fully believe that he made the right choice.

Feeling helpless, you called the only person you thought might understand. “D-Demetri?” You spoke into the phone, taking a gasp for air between sobs.

“Y/N? Are you ok?” He answered, sounding worried. “I need to talk to you, can you-” You paused, trying to catch your breath. “Can you come get me?” You were nervous he wouldn’t be able to, but you needed someone in person, not over text.

You and Demetri weren’t particularly besties, so for you to call him out of the blue, crying, was extremely worrisome to him. “Uh, yeah, okay sure. I only just left so I can turn back.”

Letting out a shaky breath of relief, you thanked Demetri and hung up, walking out of the shed and towards the front of the school to where he would be meeting you. Hawk was supposed to be your ride home, but clearly that was no longer an option.

When Demetri arrived, he didn’t wait for you to get in the car, he immediately got out and walked over to you. “What happened?” He said cautiously, becoming nervous about having to deal with others’ emotions.

He was never particularly great at consolation, being the awkward and blunt person he is-- and he really didn’t want to make things worse for you.

“It’s Eli,” You said, trying to hold back your tears. “I did something really stupid.” Your lip quivered, feeling embarrassed talking about it. You weren’t supposed to tell anyone about you and Hawk, but at this point, you had nothing left to lose.

Demetri looked at you confused. “What do you mean?” To his knowledge, you and Hawk barely conversed, and there should be absolutely no reason whatsoever for you to be crying over him.

The closer you got to explaining it, the harder it got to contain your emotions. Despite knowing Demetri wasn’t very keen on hugs, you ran into him, desperate for the feeling of comfort.

At this point, Demetri’s level of concern was on the rise. Why on earth would you hug him? That’s never happened before. “I just thought you’d be the only one who would understand... if I told someone.” You spoke, words slightly muffled as you were pressed into his chest.

Reluctantly, Demetri accepted your hug and rested his arms around you. “Okay, Y/N, you’re scaring me. What did he do?” He asked, looking down at you.

Gaining the courage to explain yourself, to Demetri’s relief you let go of him and steadied your breathing. “A few weeks ago.. Hawk and I kissed.” You said hesitantly, preparing for the worst.

“What?” Demetri’s face scrunched into the most confused and offended look you’d ever seen him wear. “I know, okay, just wait.” You told him, hoping he would hear you out.

“I thought it was just a stupid mistake, or something?” You began, recalling the uncertainty you felt when it first happened. “But then he said all this stuff about how much he cared about me, and it turns out we actually have something real.”

Aware of the weirdness of what you were saying, you looked to see how Demetri was handling it. He showed a look of understanding, but you could tell he was simply masking the discomfort he was truly feeling. “It was really confusing at first, but then we started secretly dating.. because we knew everyone would flip if they found out.” You continued, the awkwardness worsening with each sentence spoken.

Demetri’s eyebrows rose. “Dating?” You visibly cringed at the reaction, but carried on with your story. “And he even started being nicer to people!” You mentioned, hoping to make the situation seem like you weren’t a complete idiot for allowing it to happen. “Because, I told him I didn’t think I could be with him-- with the way he treats people, you know? And things were actually going well until today--”

You took a moment, preparing the end of your explanation in the hopes you wouldn’t start to cry through it. Demetri looked at you impatiently.

“When Tory found us together and threatened to tell everyone about us if we didn’t break it off, and then Hawk just left me there and said that we should end things because he’s a coward and can’t do what’s right because HE WANTS TO LOOK COOL.” You shouted, running through the sentences fast and furiously. Instead of getting sad like you thought you would, you got angry. Ah yes, another stage of grief.

Demetri looked slightly scared of you at your sudden tantrum, but having heard your story, he did understand what you were feeling-- because in a way, it had happened to him too. This time, it was him who reached out to hug you, and you appreciated him for it. Hugs always seemed to make you feel calm.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I know how it feels. He’s stuck right now, but we can’t give up, okay? He’ll come around.” He said honestly, awkwardly patting your back. You laughed a tiny bit, seeing Demetri trying to console, but you were grateful for his presence.

You released each other from the hug, and you wiped any leftover tears off of your face. “Thanks, Demetri.” You said, smiling sweetly. He nodded, placing his hand on your arm in reassurance, and motioned for you to follow to his car.

The ride back to your house was quiet, but your thoughts were busy and loud. That’s how things were for awhile after that day. You kept to yourself again, and though you tried to look alive, you felt like you had retreated back inside the bubble you worked so hard to get out of.

You went to school, you went to karate, you did whatever responsibilities you had to do-- but for the rest of your free time, you spent it alone in your room, wondering what it would take for Hawk to come back to you.

It was unhealthy, really, how you would wait everyday for a sign of acknowledgement from Hawk, and decline any other social invitation because you never got one.

You even wore the necklace, everyday, in hopes that he’d notice and remember how much you meant to him. But it never worked. He never came back.

You got away with the isolation for awhile, but people were starting to notice how you’ve been pulling away. At least you had Demetri to cover for you once and awhile, to help keep up the facade that you were okay.

Because, you weren’t. You wondered if Hawk was, though. He certainly seemed like he was okay, but he couldn’t be. For your own peace of mind, you had to think he couldn’t be. To think that he was doing just fine while you were spending your days miserable, wouldn’t be fair.

He’s stuck right now, but he’ll come around. Demetri’s words echoed in your head, wondering if they were even true. Would he ever really come around? Is he in too deep? The thoughts scared you beyond belief, but as more days passed, the more you believed them.

You eventually forced yourself to stop caring. To stop thinking about it, and to just give it up. You’d spent too long waiting for him, and you were done letting his actions control your happiness. Although there was a part of you that could never really stop caring, you convinced yourself that it was gone.

After a few weeks, you stopped wearing the necklace. When you showed up to school without it on, it was the first time Hawk had noticeably looked at you since the breakup. He always avoided your eye contact, but that day he locked them onto yours as you passed him in the hall. His gaze flickered from your eyes to your neck, and you could see the glum look all over his face.

As much as you wanted to give in to the hope that he missed you, you ignored it. You weren’t going to let any of those thoughts in again-- not when you already worked so hard to let go of them.

Hawk watched you make your way through the corridors, hardly caring who noticed. While you may have had the ability to attempt to move on, he didn’t. It was his fault any of this happened after all, and it was completely up to him whether or not he could fix things between you.

The pressure of knowing he was the only reason for your and his despair was agonizing, and with the necklace no longer around your neck, he realized he was running out of time.

Time is what he thought he had, to turn things around for himself, and you. But his window was closing, and he was panicking.

Not knowing what else to do, Hawk waited a few blocks away from where you trained at Miyagi-Do, knowing he’d catch you on your walk home.

Making your way down the sidewalk after practice, you were completely unsuspecting when Hawk jumped out of his car and jogged towards you.

Things had really come full circle now, hadn’t they? You, walking home on that same sidewalk, pure disgust for Hawk in your veins as he tried to catch up with you.

You stopped short as Hawk stood in front of you, blocking your path. You were nervous and confused at his intrusion, and decided not to bother avoiding him right now.

His stare towards you was intense, and you only glared back, waiting for him to say what he needed to say.

“You stopped wearing the necklace.” He said it so plainly, you couldn’t tell what kind of response he was looking for. It seemed almost like a question in disguise-- why did you stop wearing the necklace, perhaps?

He was looking at you eagerly, though trying to hide the desperation behind the statement.

“Yeah, and?” You laughed at him, matching his tone of carelessness. He looked like he didn’t understand, so you continued. “What’d you expect? That I’d just keep waiting for you?” You said unpleasantly, with a hint of sadness in your own voice.

A shameful look glossed over his features, but you only kept going. “It’s obvious you’re not coming back, Hawk.” You smile at him mockingly, enjoying the feeling of guilt you were giving him.

He tried to stay strong, but every word you spoke was like a hit to his built-up walls, and they were so close to falling down.

“I spent weeks wondering what I’d have to do to get you to come back to me. To choose me.” You said, your voice calm, but the rest of you not. Your body was shaking with anger now, but your eyes were brimming with tears.

“Until,” You sniffled, gaining a tone of indifference, “I finally realized there was nothing for me to do. You just weren’t coming.” You were almost smiling through the pain, and Hawk looked at you in a loss for words.

You appeared so fragile to him, he just wanted to wrap you in his arms and spout apology after apology for what he’d caused. Seeing your eyes squint in attempt to hold back the waterworks, physically pained him.

“So yeah, I stopped wearing the necklace. But you know what?” You stepped forward confidently, despite the single tear that had just fallen down your face. “I think it hurt more wearing it than it did taking it off.” You finished with hardly any emotion in your voice, and Hawk looked mortified seeing you try to act so unaffected.

He had been silent through your whole exchange, because he knew there was nothing he could say now to make things better. He had done too much damage, and he had caused you too much pain. He did exactly what he said he’d never do.

You waited for him to say something, anything-- but as your eyes bore into his strongly, he couldn’t find the courage to speak. The disappointment was immense, and feeling hopeless once again, you pushed past him to go home.

Panicking at your leave, Hawk grabbed onto your arm. “Y/N, Wait, please-” “No!” You cut him off, looking at him coldly. His face was red, and his eyes were stinging now, too. Ignoring the feeling you got when you saw him like that, you ripped your arm from his grasp. “I’ve waited long enough.”

You turned to leave again, and this time, Hawk didn’t follow. There was only one thing Hawk could do now to get you back, and you knew he wasn’t ready for it. There was no use in you hanging around for him anymore, you deserved better. You deserved someone who cared enough that they’d do what it takes to be with you, regardless of social status.

You didn’t even care if he stayed in Cobra Kai, you just wanted him to stand up to his friends and be proud that he was with you. Didn’t he realize that he was one of the strongest Cobras, and that he could get through any of their shit? If his biggest problem was Tory, he hardly had any reason to stay quiet. You knew deep down he could do better.

Hawk hadn’t understood that then, but as he lingered on you walking away, something clicked in his head.

Maybe he really could do better. He wanted to, for you. He was still terrified at the idea of coming clean to the Cobras, but whatever he’d deal with from that couldn’t be any worse than being without you.

He liked the power he had being in Cobra Kai, and he hoped that he could keep it-- but if losing the power meant gaining you, at this point he was totally okay with that risk. But, that didn’t mean he wouldn’t at least try to negotiate with his friends first.

“Y/N!” It was a new day at school, and you were walking side by side Sam heading to your lunch table when he called your name. You shared a look with Sam, glancing towards him with a bothered look upon your face. “Come here!” Hawk shouted again, apparently not caring that the whole cafeteria had his attention.

A look of dread spread across your face, and you slammed your lunch tray on your friends’ table in defeat before stomping over to where Hawk and his asshole friends sat. Your friends watched from afar, completely clueless as to what Hawk would need you for, and Demetri struggled to pretend he was just as lost as they were.

“What.” You said bluntly, staring him and the rest of his table down. “Yeah, seriously, what are you doing calling her over here?” Mitch asked, looking at you in revulsion, and you rolled your eyes at him.

Hawk looked between you and his friends, struggling to keep his confident manner in tact, and sighed uncomfortably. “I know we don’t like the Miyagi-Dos. And we don’t like the way they run their dojo.” He stated, hoping to hook his friends in by starting negatively towards their rivals.

His friends looked at him in reluctance, wondering where he was going with this-- and you did too. “But I love Y/N.” He said loudly, letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding in, and looking around at his friends. He was more nervous to see your reaction than theirs, so he barely looked at you once he said it.

“What?” The words came strongly from not only his friends, but you, too. He had never told you that before, and your heart melted at his declaration. When you spoke, he gathered the courage to look at you, and you’d never seen him so nervous.

“I love you.” He repeated, looking you in the eyes. You couldn’t believe what you were hearing, and on top of that he was announcing it to the whole school. You glanced over to see Demetri, mouth ajar, observing the interaction like it were a movie.

He meant it, and you could tell. He was waiting on you for a response, feeling more stress than he’d felt in a long time as he studied your bewildered expression.

Before you could say anything, Bert interrupted the moment. “You can’t love a Miyagi-Do. They’re stuck-up pansies who think they’re better than us.” He said, completely convinced that Hawk was out of his mind and needed a wake-up call.

Hawk cringed a little at the feedback, but was surprised when you decided to bite back. “I joined Miyagi-Do because I was tired of people getting bullied. You all choose violence when it isn’t needed, so I just wanted to be prepared.” You defended your intentions, fearlessly.

Tory snorted. “Oh yeah? And how’s that working out for you?” She jabbed, trying to make fun of your self defense skills. Before you could retort, Hawk slammed his hand down on the table and leaned in towards his peers.

“Listen! I’m with you guys, but she’s right. We’ve been reckless.” He said carefully, trying to keep a balance between who’s side he was on. “Sensei told us to fight smart, and we haven’t been.” He locked eyes with Tory, clearly sending her a message.

You watched as Hawk tried to reason with them, admiring his every move. Keeping up his confidence, he set down what was going to happen, and there’d be no arguments against it. “You guys can hate the Miyagi-Dos all you want, but I’m going to be with Y/N, and I’m staying in Cobra Kai.”

Interlacing his hand with yours, he looked at you pridefully before turning back to the outraged looks on his friends’ faces. “From now on, if any one of you touches her, you deal with me. That’s of course if she doesn’t kick your ass first.” He said smugly, and you smiled widely, feeling content at his speech.

Your heart was jumping out of your chest at the gesture he made, and you wanted to smash your lips onto his and tell him how much you loved him back-- but you kept yourself restrained for the sake of the situation.

Most of the Cobras nodded nervously at his announcement, not wanting to challenge Hawk when he was so sure of himself. But Tory wasn’t having it. “You guys can’t seriously be okay with this?” She snapped, death-glaring the entire table.

The group looked like they were trying to decide whether they were more afraid of Hawk, or Tory. You smiled to yourself, knowing that no matter their reaction, you had won this, because you were with him now. It would certainly be a bonus if you gained their acceptance, though.

Mitch looked around in uncertainty about what he was going to say, but stuck up for Hawk. “Come on Tory, I mean, I get it... she’s hot.” He said referring to you, and you laughed a little at the shallow but positive response.

Hawk wasn’t as pleased with it though. “Hey.” He threatened, pointing a finger at Mitch. You giggled slightly at his jealous reaction, but pulled him back from Mitch by the hand you were holding his with. Mitch raised his hands in surrender, and Tory stood from the table, getting close to the both of you.

“You’d better sleep with one eye open, assholes.” She spat, and stormed away from the table. It went better than you would’ve thought, truthfully. Everyone else was loyal to Hawk, and you didn’t really expect anything less from Tory. Again, having Tory be your only threat seemed like small potatoes now that you two were together.

You nodded at the rest of the Cobras in respect, and with that whole thing being over, you tugged him by the hand towards your table of Miyagi-Dos. Hawk groaned, realizing where you were taking him, but did his best to stay civil.

Chris glowered at the both of you, and Sam looked a little disappointed, but she tried to look supportive. “So.... yeah. Sorry.” You said sheepishly, knowing that they had already heard everything.

“I’m glad it finally worked out.” Demetri said through a sad smile. You felt a little bad, knowing that Demetri still needed to work out his relationship with Hawk, and here you were rubbing yours in his face. That would be your next mission, you suppose-- operation get Demetri and Hawk to be friends again.

“Thanks, Dem.” You said appreciatively, and Hawk looked suspiciously between the two of you. “Wait, did you tell him before?” He asked defensively. The whole table looked to you and Demetri curiously, and you crossed your arms sassily.

“Uh, did I call someone to come get me after you left me alone in a shed? Yeah.” You recovered, your facial expression sly as you knew he couldn’t come back from that one. The others looked at him exasperatedly at your response, and his face dropped instantly.

“Oh my god, Y/N I am so sorry about that.” He cowered, immediately dropping it, and you laughed at the remorse he was finally showing. You already knew he was sorry, but you guess it was nice to hear him say it.

He didn’t understand why you were laughing, though. He felt awful. And he also really needed a chance to completely apologize to you in private, now that he had already confessed his true feelings.

Suddenly, he picked you up entirely, arms holding your legs and you wrapped your arms around his neck instinctively. “Whoah, what is happening?” You laughed, looking at your friends who all looked just as puzzled as you.

Without saying anything else, he took off out of the lunch room carrying you, and made his way to the nearest exit to the outdoors. “Babe, where are we going?” You cackled, amused at the adventure he was taking you on.

Finally outside and alone, he let you down gently in front of him, and took your hands in his lightly. “I’m so sorry. For all of it. I was a complete idiot for letting you go. You knew all along that we could do it, and I was too busy being a pussy to even try. And I’m really sorry for everything that went down today, I hope you aren’t mad, I literally told you I loved you in front of everyone and that must’ve been awkward, I mean you didn’t even get to respond, which, now that I think about it maybe you didn’t want to, or--”

You silenced his rambling with a forceful kiss, grabbing the sides of his face with your hands. “I love you too, Hawk.” You said, pulling away from the kiss quickly, to give him the response he had been looking for.

He smiled big in return, and it turned your insides to mush. “You know, I realized we never got the chance to make things official.” He looked up at you cutely and you smiled back, knowing what was coming.

“So, will you be my girlfriend?” He asked charmingly, his face mere inches from yours. Blushing furiously, you nodded as you touched your forehead to his. “Mhm,” You said in agreement, grinning.

He took a moment, just admiring the look of you so happy, and with his manner still playful, he reminded you of something you had said before. “See? I came back to you.” He said proudly.

You looked at him lovingly, feeling a little emotional at the sentiment. His expression turned serious now, and he parted from you only slightly. “I’m gonna do better for you, Y/N. I promise.” He spoke lowly, and you put your hands on his shoulders, beaming at him in acknowledgement.

You stepped forwards again, getting closer to him. He gave a seductive smirk at your movement, and you subconsciously traced your fingers along his neck, fixated on his face more than anything.

Hawk stared back at you affectionately, his attention flickering down towards your lips. Feeling bold, he placed his hands dangerously low on your waist, and pulled you in roughly for another kiss. You quickly reacted, letting your hands travel to the nape of his neck, your mouth opening slightly-- allowing Hawk the opportunity to deepen the kiss.

Your lips stayed connected as Hawk’s hands made their way up your back, his chest pressing closer to yours. As much as you wanted to continue, you were in broad daylight right outside the halls of your school-- and you really didn’t want a detention for too much PDA.

“Mm, Hawk-” You giggled, breaking away from him. “Hm?” He smiled, his hands resting loosely on your waist as he pecked your lips again before letting you free. “If we don’t go back in soon we’ll miss the whole lunch period.” You said, disappointedly.

“Eh, that’s fine with me.” He shrugged, smirking at you as he clutched you closer. You scoffed playfully, hitting him lightly, and gave him one last kiss before escaping his grip.

He pouted at you, and you looked back at him mischievously. He missed your touch already, so he snaked his arm around your waist as you walked back inside to satisfy his need of holding you.

You felt on top of the world with him by your side, now having full confidence in him and his feelings for you. “It’s a good thing I still have the necklace, huh?” You teased, looking back up at him, and Hawk smiled, tilting his head to meet your gaze.

Though your comment may have only been a joke, both of you felt whole at the idea of you wearing the necklace-- and as you walked joyfully through the halls with him, you knew you’d never be taking it off again.

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i just wanna talk about real quick how much i cringe when writing like its actually terrible how much i cringe at myself so idk if i’ll keep doing fics or not HAHAH but y’all can always send requests and i’ll get around to them if i can. hope yall liked this one tho and made it through the whole thing cuz yikes.

#cobra kai #eli moskowitz #eli hawk moskowitz #hawk #jacob bertrand #eli hawk moskowitz cobra kai #eli moskowitz cobra kai #hawk moskowitz #hawk cobra kai #cobra kai hawk #hawk moskowitz cobra kai #eli moskowitz imagine #hawk imagine #eli hawk moskowitz imagine

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