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#i want a normal nights sleep every night now
bitchimasnake-sss · 3 days
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Imagine telling op guys who has a crush on you, that you want to sleep with them. You just plop down next to them cuddle into them and fall asleep. It's just hem turning red and trying to calm down their thoughts
hehe, this is legit so cute. (tweaked the prompt to be a little more suggestive than just thoughts in the end.)
not a dream ft. the monster trio!
set-up: as anon asked! you happened to utter five simple words, "can i sleep with you?" to the op boys (who have a crush crush on you). now these idiots are contemplating if they'd make it out alive.
warnings: includes nsfw thoughts!! no actual things happen but the guys are thinking very very perverted shit, so, if not comfortable please skip!!!
luffy:
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💗 you know luffy. do you think luffy— the guy who clings to everyone, doesn't know the word "personal" and "space", who will probably hug you even if you threatened to punch him— will really mind if you told him you wanted to sleep with him? fuck no. even if you stood in front of him with a "i like you, i wanna sleep with you" in a suggestive way, he would say something along the lines of "awh, i like you too. let's sleep."
💗 but well, this was different. cause he liked you. so when you decided to show up at his door after dinner with a cranky look, he was both confused and intrigued. "what's wrong with ya?" he mumbled as you sat next to him on the bed. "chopper and ussop. ugghhh." you groaned, "they're doing some stupid shit next door and making so much noise. there is no possible way i can sleep there. and im sure nobody else will let me crash with them tonight in their room." luffy would have probably leapt up and gone to join the other two fools had you not sprawled out next to him. you gave him a tired smile, "so, can i sleep with you?" 💗you hadn't even waited for an answer. mindlessly, you draped a hand over his torso and snuggled into his chest. he pulled you towards himself on instinct. this was normal. yeah. hugging a crewate. yeah. totally normal. atleast for him. then why was his heart beating so fast? mouth going dry? why was sweat clinging uncomfortably to his back although he knew the night air was frigid. 💗you shifted and your chest brushed against his. luffy swallowed wantonly as you shifted again. and then one more time. trying to find the most comfortable position, he guessed. mechanically, you pushed yourself further against him. and this motherfucker went as stiff as a washboard. "luffy?" you mumbled against his skin before tracing your eyes upward. from this position, your doe-eyes bore into his, "you don't mind right? it's just really cold, sorry." how could he mind? your soft body was against his. your fingers drummed faint melodies against his back and your hair smelled like some floral scented shampoo. every time you breathed out, the warm air caressed him and goosebumps painted his hands. he felt your peaked chest brush against his again and he almost swallowed his own tongue. "luffy?" you asked again, your voice saccharine. and he vaguely wondered how would the same voice sound if he tore open that flimsy top your were wearing and held your soft skin against his palm. or if he took the courage enough to dip his fingers below the waistband of your pajamas and felt you up. would you say his name like that? 💗 well, fuck. this was the captain had thought so much in his entire life. and it was thoughts about feeling up his crewmate's tits. and as a result of such vigorous thinking, a problem had arose in his pants. he tried to think it away. tried thinking about sea-kings or hideous devil-fruit users. of alvida. or anyone else. he even tried to think of food so that his attention could be diverted. but even the most tastiest of sanji's pudding couldn't take away the throbbing in his cock. and the delicious feeling of your soft skin next to his. as a last resort, he prayed that you wouldn't shift more and feel his dick against you. he prayed you would take his silence as rejection and simply drift off to sleep. but ofcourse, this is a godless land. because you moved again. and when you felt his hand-on against your thigh, you looked up at him. lips caught between your teeth, you looked up at him. blinking up at him almost innocently, you asked, "got a problem, captain?" before he could answer, you pressed forward, "i think i can fix it." on the other side of the ship nami burst into chopper and ussop's room. when she yelled, it probably could be heard over the entire ship, "LET US SLEEP, YOU MORONS. WE HAVE A LONG DAY TOMORROW. GO SLEEP OR I'LL FINE YOU BOTH A MILLION BERRIES PER MINUTE THAT YOU'RE UP." you're not sure if it was chopper or ussop crying in the distance. but oh well, good for you that ussop and chopper are such morons.
zoro:
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💚zoro's not even fucking sure how he ended up like this. he's sure it involved some higher-than-tolerable level of alcohol for both the parties involved. and he's sure it must have been your idea that he had drunkenly complied with. "let's sleep together" "okay" what was he thinking? because right now, you were sprawled against his chest. both of you were on his bed. his shirt was off, yours was barely on. a bit of drool peaked out from the corner of your lips. and he found himself quietly rubbing it away with the pad of his thumb, smiling softly to himself. ew?! was he still drunk?? as the realization set in, he pulled his hands back in wicked horror and looked around as if someone had seen him. it was still night. and in the middle of the night, the effects of the cheap booze must have wore off of him and he awoke to you as his bed. on him. 💚"hey." he tried to shake you awake but you just groaned, sinking further into him. he hissed when you buried your face against his bare skin. he whisper-shouted, ignoring the goosebumps on both of your skins, "wake up. go back to your own room, woman." but you didn't shift an inch. instead, you stayed buried against him. 💚he groaned but when his eyes fell back to your face, he couldn't help but fight off the impending blush that crawled up his face. your hair was a mess and your cheek was squished against his chest. you breathed softly and sometimes, your fingers twitched against his skin and you touched him fleetingly. and you were warm. too warm for his liking. he tried to look away but his hand carefully came up to your face. staying there not a moment too long, he dragged it downwards. over your shoulders and over your back. he stopped before he went too far and grabbed your ass, the curve so delicious in his eyes. but he stopped, pulling his hands back to lay on the linen sheets. he was a horny man, not an evil douche. 💚but you must have been hell-bent in proving flaws in his moral-code, because you shifted and your pelvis shifted over his. he bit back a grunt at the movement over the fabric. you were so cozy against him. the way you brushed up against him, the way your hair tickled him. would you like it if he pulled your hair? would you moan? god, what would you sound if you moaned out his name? he was a bad man. thinking all of those things. and he tried to focus on anything but the blood-rush to his dick, really. but the way you started moving against him, almost mechanically. that made all attempts to ignore his boner disappear. his hips moved upwards and he closed his eyes, giving into the friction of you against him. and soft moans fell from his lips. 💚"zoro?" you mumbled sleepily, rubbing your eye. you strained your neck up and he looked down at you, dazed. "you okay, zo?" when he found himself unable to talk and you found a harsh roll of hips under you, you connected the dots. a playful smile tugged on your lips, "need some help?" "no." "fine." you shrugged, clamoring off him, "i should go back to my room. the crew will freak out if they find us like this." "no." he caught your wrist, tugging you towards him, "stay. i could use some help." 💚in the morning, sanji walked into the swordman's room to see if the moron could find you somewhere since you were nowhere to be found on the ship. what he found, instead, was you and him tangled in the sheets. when you and zoro had finally made it to the breakfast table, sanji may/may not have been crying. luffy, ussop and chopper were laughing in the background. nami decided it was a good enough reason to even high-five zoro. it was an awkward breakfast.
sanji:
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💙sanji was probably in heaven. yes, that's the only explanation. sure, the ship was en route to alabasta but he was on his way to heaven. because there's no way you had come seeking him out in the middle of the night. you had said, "i can't sleep." "oh?" the cook had wordlessly stepped aside and you took on the opportunity to slip in. he shut the door behind you, "can i help you then, love? want me to cook something?" "i would have really not bothered you but i don't know who else to ask. nami and vivi are sleeping together and the bed's not big for the three of us." you rambled, "and zoro probably showered five months ago. and luffy, ussop and chopper are passed out in the common room. so... can i sleep with you?" it's a miracle he didn't pass out on hearing those words. it's an even bigger miracle that that was three hours ago and he had still not passed out. now, sanji lay next to you— as stiff as a corpse— while you snored. 💙your body shifted and your hands reached out towards sanji. your palm ran up and down his torso as to check if he was there. and once you had gotten a confirmation, you scooted in his direction and sanji held his breath as if one wayward puff of air will wake you up. vinsmoke sanji was trying. he was trying o maintain his composure, to not pull you into his chest. he was trying not to think about the way your chest will feel against his, the way his fingers will glide over your thighs, the way your hand will fit around his dic— 💙and it was as if you could hear his wretched thoughts. because your hands moved over his torso. gliding up and down. you leaned into his touch, molding your body against his. you might have been having an interesting dream cause he saw your hips gently rocking, your thighs pressed harder and you eyes clenched shut. you buried your head into his chest and the smell of your shampoo seemed to turn him on more. he ignored his weeping dick, decided to pay it no mind. but all of that resolve crumbled when he heard you moan his name into the fabric across his chest. your nails dug into his shoulders and your nose buried as deeply as it could against his skin. 💙 he gently guided his fingers to your thighs. and you shook under his soft touches. his thumb softly brushed over your clothed pussy and bucked towards his hand. he could probably just feel you up and you'd let him— "—shit." sanji quickly brought his hand back, realizing that you were sleeping and out of it. even if your lips chanted his name, he couldn't do the things his mind was convincing him to do. because if he started, he wouldn't stop. 💙so, to get himself rid of such sinful thoughts, he decided to hide in the shower and pump at his hard cock till he was tired. till you crawled out of his head. till your voice stopped ringing in his ears, making his cock impossibly harder. he slowly pushed you away, trying to climb off the bed. but as soon as you felt his warmth disappear, you cracked open an eye, "sanji?" "uh" his face went red, eyes averting, "just going to the washroom. i'd be back." you sat up, "did i go too far?" sanji's mouth hung agape as you pulled him back into bed, "i thought you wanted me to moan your name like that—" "—wh-what?" "i had a dream." you innocently traced your index nail down his torso and brushed it over his sleeping shorts, "think you can help me?" you blinked up at him, "pretty please." 💙 the next morning, the cook of the crew made the worst breakfast possible. wasn't his fault. all he could think about was you and your breathless moans and your eyes as— "this tastes like shit." the swordman argued. "thEN MAKE IT YOURSELF, FREELOADER." "might as well if you're gonna cook so bad." "—i think it tastes fine." nami sighed, "if i knew you getting some would make you a terrible cook, i would have let (yn) sleep with me and vivi." and the entire ship choked on their (terrible) breakfast.
a/n: i tweaked the prompt a bit (as i was getting stuck with the original ask), but i hope this was good enough anon!! as always, thanks for reading and send in req that you might have <3 (tagging: @bokutosbiceps cause i know you love luffy)
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meechlamajor · 3 days
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would you write headcannons or lit anything for kk....por favor....i love her and the kk fics are a dessert
KK AS YOUR GIRLFRIEND: HEADCANONS
You sing to her 🌚
Whether your vocals are horrible or not, I feel like you should match her goofy vibe. So since she’s always dancing, you should match that by singing her the most unserious things. Like if you calls for you, you don’t answer normally, instead you’d say yes in the form of an overly extended run.
You treat her to Chipotle
KK loves some Chipotle, it’s actually insane how many of her TikTok reposts I’ve seen about it 😭😭 I feel like you guys could make it a once a week thing, Fridays maybe.
She’s so gosh darn touchy
She always wants to hold hands, or even just have a limb making contact with you. So she’d probably rest a leg on you just because.
Because KK is a live stream warrior, you’re going to be a guest in a decent amount of them.
You help KK do her hair, or wash it before her hair appointment.
In addition to that, I feel like you guys would search through Pinterest together to find more hairstyles for her. KK would probably be insanely indecisive, though, so it takes you guys forever to find something that she likes.
KK definitely rummages through your things out of boredom.
“Babe, what’s this?” She’s sat on the floor of your dorm, with a random item in her hand, peering up at you.
“Girl— put that back!”
Your room always ends up a mess as a result of her “curiosity.”
“It looked at me first!” KK replied.
Obviously, she gives you her jerseys to wear to games.
Also, as a devoted girlfriend you do have a blanket with cutouts of her face on it. It’s your favorite thing, ever. When KK got it for you, you laughed for like 10 minutes straight, but you use it like every night.
KK: it’s so that if you ever have another girl in here she knows that you sleep with me every night.
You: Why would I have another girl in here? Beside our friends Kamorea…
KK: I don’t know, you tell me *eyebrow raise*
You ask KK about Wisconsin lore.
You two are sat in KK’s car, having gone through the drive through of a restaurant.
“Why does your cheese squeak? What does that even mean?” You ask.
“It’s just— that’s the way it is and it’s good! Eat it!” KK scolds you, passing you some cheese curds.
“But the cheese isn’t stretchy anymore… that’s why it’s squeaky.”
KK rolls up the bag of fast food, “clearly you don’t respect fine dining. Look what happens when I try to be generous!”
KK loves to dress you, and oftentimes you guys match.
KK gives me “let’s have a movie night” vibes, except you guys watch the same movie over and over.
You guys 100% have a collaborative playlist with some of your favorite songs on it. Some songs I like below ⬇️
You Don’t Even Know - The Internet
Fashion Killa - A$AP Rocky
Go Gina - SZA
Get It Sexyy - Sexyy Red (of course)
Way 2 Sexy - Drake (i feel like kk would love this song but i have no evidence sawry 🌚)
KK has left her dorm after curfew just to go to yours and get into bed with you.
It’s going on 2 A.M. when your phone rings, a FaceTime incoming. It’s KK, so of course you answer.
Your voice groggy, you speak. “What’s wrong?” Granted it was random for KK to call you at 2 A.M. after you guys already said goodnight.
“Come open the doorrrrrrr.” She spoke, a blanket draped around her shoulder and her voice somewhat hushed.
“There’s no way you’re in the hallway right now… calling me…” you trail off.
“I am. Now open the door, please!” KK pleads, “my toes are cold!”
“You don’t have any shoes on?” You climb out of your bed, stalking to the door of your dorm, mindful of your roommate.
“No, I was rushing to get here since I missed you.”
AUTHOR’S NOTE!
soooooo happy that you sent in this request bc i’ve been wanting to write about kk so much! i just love her
i hope that you liked this! thanks so much! 🩷
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xocheol · 9 hours
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cruel summer (teaser).
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summary: what starts off as a simple crush turns into something else entirely when you sleep with your best friend’s brother on the first day of summer vacation at their family beach house.
pairing: kim mingyu x fem!reader genres: romance, angst, smut, slowburn; best friend’s brother!au, rich kid!au, summer!au estimated word count: 20k-30k
teaser warnings: implied sexual content, alcohol consumption, profanity — full warnings to be included in the fic! a/n: please send an ask/comment to be added to the taglist! thanks for reading :) {inspired by and based off of taylor swift’s cruel summer}
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There’s only one option left: leave Mingyu’s room as quietly as you possibly can, and tiptoe your way back to your own assigned room.
Ignoring the apprehension swirling in your stomach and the throbbing of your head, you swing your legs off the bed and sit up. The man sleeping next to you snorts and then turns onto his back. You freeze. Once Mingyu’s breathing evens out again, you silently stand up. Your t-shirt and shorts are strewn on the floor; you gingerly pick up your shirt and shrug it on, and then bundle up your shorts in your arms. You twist the doorknob. 
You will miss him, you think. Kim Mingyu with his sweet lips and sweet words. He makes your heart stutter in the worst ways possible. You wonder if he’s ever going to think of this night the way you will, ruminating over every detail like an art critic observing a painting.
The first rays of sunshine slowly begin their journey from their east just as you enter your own room. You dump your clothes on the bed, pulling the shirt over your head. The sheets look visibly unused. You frown and pull them off the mattress, then redo them. At least your bed looks slept in, now.
First things first: you’re going to take a shower. The sweat and stickiness of the past few hours settles in like a second layer of skin, and you itch to scrub it off. You unzip your duffel bag and pull out your towel and bathrobe. The perks of your best friends being children of privilege is that each bedroom has an attached bathroom. A shower stall by the sink, opposite the toilet, is perfectly good for the bleary-eyed, muddled mess of a state you’re in.
Minutes later, when the mirror is fogged up and your hair is damp, you make your way downstairs to the kitchen. You’re in desperate need of a coffee—your go-to hangover cure. It’s only half-past six; everyone else should be asleep. 
Except you’re not alone.
Kim Mingyu blinks at you from his seat on the kitchen island.
“Oh.” You stop in your tracks. 
He’s the complete opposite of you: hair still wildly messed up, shirt wrinkled, sleep marks on his cheek from the pillow. He looks gorgeous. Your chest clenches.
“Good morning,” he says.
“Uh, morning.”
Some part of you wants to turn around and run away, perhaps bury yourself in a mound of blankets and never show your face to the world ever again. The other part of you stays rooted in place. It’s rather ironic; you escaped from Mingyu’s room first, only to find yourself pulled back to him. 
If you’re the moon, then he’s the earth. You couldn’t stay away from him even if you wanted to. 
It’s a dangerous thought.
Mingyu gestures to the coffee machine whirring behind him. “I’m making coffee. Want some?”
“Sure. Thanks.” You don’t think you can sit next to him. Instead, you walk over to a cabinet, open it, and pretend to peruse through its contents. A box of almond cookies, canned soups, a packet of rice cakes—
“Did you sleep well?”
You press your lips together, turning around to face him. Mingyu is already looking at you, an inscrutable gleam in his eyes. This is inevitable—talking to him and interacting with him like normal. You’re going to be within the same vicinity for the next couple weeks, after all. It doesn’t change the fact that it will be horribly, irreversibly awkward—for you, if not for him. 
“I did, thank you,” you reply. “What about you?”
Mingyu clicks his tongue. “Mm, so and so. You woke up pretty early, though.” 
He says it so casually, it sends your brain tripping like a faulty wire. Is this how it’s going to be? Is he going to make you dance around him for the entire duration of the vacation? 
“Ah, yeah.” You attempt to smile. “I, um, needed to shower.”
Mingyu nods like he understands. He pauses for a moment, a flicker of something crossing over his face. “Listen, I—”
Your heart sinks. You already know what he’s going to talk about.
“It’s okay, Mingyu,” you hurriedly interrupt, hoping your voice doesn’t betray anything. “You—we don’t have to explain anything to each other.”
“That’s not what I was gonna say.” His expression pinches.
You shrug. “Yeah, but—it’s something I want to say.”
Better to save yourself from heartbreak early on. You can do this—you can admire him from afar, the way you always have, and force yourself to enjoy your summer vacation with Sora and Yeri. You can bury Kim Mingyu and your alcohol-induced one-night stand into someplace you won’t think about, and continue on as though nothing happened. 
“Oh,” Mingyu says, frowning. “But—”
The coffee machine dings. Both you and Mingyu startle. You tear your gaze away from him and look back at the packaging on the rice cakes. He gets up from his chair and pulls out two mugs from a drawer. A third voice joins you both—Xu Minghao, you recognise, one of Mingyu’s friends who accompanied him on the trip. 
“Good morning,” Minghao greets both of you, and then yawns.
“Good morning,” you echo. Mingyu mumbles something similar. 
Mingyu’s friend slides into his previously occupied seat and holds his head in his hands. “Bloody hangover,” he mutters. “Pass me one too, Mingyu.”
Mingyu scoffs. “Get it yourself.” He places a mug on the counter in front of you, not meeting your eyes. “Coffee.”
“Thanks,” you say quietly; he nods in response. Minghao curses under his breath and shoots Mingyu a deathly glare. You bring the mug to your lips and take a sip of the hot liquid—it’s a bit too bitter for your taste. You aren’t complaining, however. 
Maybe some bitterness will help you out in the long run.
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hoonieshoney · 10 hours
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hey bae!! love ur jealouschildhoodbff jay & sunghoon, could you do heeseung or jake version maybe? (of course, if you want to🤭) I LOVE YOUR WORKS SO MUCHH XX
Hello pretty baby! Of course I can, anything for you @sunghoonsgff ! Thank you for being here ❤️ hope you enjoy!
🐈‍⬛Jay Version🐈‍⬛ 🐧Sunghoon Version🐧
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JealousChildhoodBFF!Heeseung who made it a tradition to buy you yellow flowers every time it rains because he hates when you pout at gloomy weather
JealousChildhoodBFF!Heeseung who has never missed your annual Friday night sleepovers that y’all have had since you were 8
JealousChildhoodBFF!Heeseung who makes you wear his number at all his sporting events, ya know for “good luck”
Y’all already know the drill on how this goes 😏
🚫MDNI🚫 🛑DARK CONTENT TALK🛑
JealousChildhoodBFF!Heeseung who’s always touching you. Whether it’s holding your hand, playing with your hair, rubbing your shoulders. His hands are always on your soft skin
JealousChildhoodBFF!Heeseung who likes to come up behind you and wrap his arms around your waist and make eye contact with the loser boys who think they have a chance 🥱
JealousChildhoodBFF!Heeseung who always clothes shop with you, because hello you need a guys opinion on how hot you look. Bonus: always comes into the dressing room with you because that’s normal, you’ve known him your whole life 😛
Let’s get darker 😈
JealousChildhoodBFF!Heeseung who is a gross pantie stealing creep! Waits until your asleep to sneak into your hamper to shove a pair in his mouth and another around his cock
JealousChildhoodBFF!Heeseung who likes to get you drunk because you’re affectionate and kiss him all over his face
JealousChildhoodBFF!Heeseung who safely gets you home when you’re drunk and tucks you into bed. But waits until you’re snoring to sneak behind you and slip his aching cock between your thighs and use them to jerk off
JealousChildhoodBFF!Heeseung who takes pictures of his cum on your thighs and panties for jacking off material. He’s a perv not a jerk! Will clean you up so you can sleep comfortably 😌
JealousChildhoodBFF!Heeseung who finds out you’re going on a date with a coworker and he uses his Bambi eyes and whiny voice to manipulate you to cancel because he needs to see you😵
JealousChildhoodBFF!Heeseung who is giddy when you cancel your date to spend time with him. Doesn’t like to see you pouty, so he tells you he’ll make it up to you 😏
JealousChildhoodBFF!Heeseung who has you on the couch with your legs spread wide and puffy clit in his mouth making you forget about oh what’s his name
JealousChildhoodBFF!Heeseung grabs you by the throat and tells you he’s still upset you agreed to go on a date when he’s so obviously in love with you 🫢
JealousChildhoodBFF!Heeseung who has his phone hidden on the coffee table recording you bouncing on his cock mumbling incoherent works
JealousChildhoodBFF!Heeseung who makes sure to leave lots of hickeys for your stupid coworker to see
JealousChildhoodBFF!Heeseung who sees your too cock drunk to realize he’s not wearing a condom, cums inside you so much it’s dripping down to your ankles
JealousChildhoodBFF!Heeseung who wakes you up the next morning with yellow flowers and lots of kisses, you’re his now 🤭
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Gotham being a fuck up City once more
Gotham is a City with a lot of problems, Jason Todd knows it very well. And this is not about the pollution, corruption or the villains but the city itself is like that. The City is vile, dirty and knows how to make your old wounds bleed.
And sometimes Jason really hates Gotham because of this, the City plays with everyone and anyone. Oracle sent some messages to everyone, saying something about weird supernatural shit happens and everyone should be careful that night while Batman is working... Well Jason don't care.
Jason Todd is having a shit week and he is fucking tired! He just wants to go home and sleep - and maybe some beer and shower. Be the whatever shit is batman doing now it's definitely not his problem.
And Jason actually did it! He manages to avoid his siblings the whole way to the safe house. but before entering he sees a woman sitting against the door, his whole body freezes and he regrets not having paid attention to the warning because Jason knows that woman. And she definitely doesn't should be there.
"Jason" the woman got up and smiled at him, "look at you... You become so tall"
Jason's first instinct is run, but his body doesn't move, he barely can think
"look at your hands" Catharine keeps smiling and holds her son's hands, there's so much sweetie in her voice "I remember when you were a baby, your hands were so tiny, both of your hands fit in one of mine... look at you now... this time I'm the one who has to use two hands to hold one of yours"
Jason doesn't want to believe in it! She was dead! He knows it! She died years ago... But...but...
Catherine lets go of Jason's hand when she notices that her son is silent
"I understand, you must be angry with me... I'm sorry..." she starts to walk away, after all, what kind of mother was she?
That was enough for Jason to panic, whatever that was in front of him, he wasn't going to let it go that easily. He didn't understand why his parents always abandoned him, but whatever it was, he wanted to keep her there a little more
"I... I... I hurt people, mom..I hurt so many people" Jason doesn't know what makes him say that, at all the things he should say he chose. Why can't he do nothing right?
Catherine looks for her son again, She brings her hand to his face, wiping away the soft tears that have started to fall.
When did Jason start crying?
"You were trying to protect someone, weren't you? I know who you are Jason, you are my son, I raised you... you must have become such a smart man, do you still like books? I remember you loved going to the public library to read, it was a free trip so we walked there every weekend"
Jason hates it. Why Gotham keep tutoring him like that? Why Gotham keep doing this?
and the rest of the night the boy and his mom are just talking with each other in the same way they did before the drugs... She asked about the books he was reading at that time, his friends, if he had someone in his life...
They talked for hours but not enough... And then she disappears before the sun rises followed by the Oracle message "situation over control now, everything will be normal for now on"
And Jason starts sobbing on the floor again. He definitely hates how Gotham plays with everyone
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screamingcrows · 2 days
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A Good Night's Sleep (part 2) - Zandik x Reader
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Author's note: Feed this to an AI algorithm and I'm giving you Clostridium difficile. Also fuck this. This is nowhere close to what I wanted, so now I'm throwing it out so it won't leer at me from my wips. Maybe I'll come back once I get over my subconscious aversion to writing smut. 1.8k words Warnings/tags: dubcon, but not how you think, dry humping, blood (very little), fem reader, tigers have barbed penises, earlier somnophilia, panic, coercion, they're both something, suggestive, nsfw, zandik is stuck in his head Part 1 MINORS, AGELESS, AND BLANK BLOGS DNI - you will be blocked on sight
"Go back to sleep"
There was a slight crack his voice despite Zandik's best effort to keep it even. He had already moved away from you, shaking his hands in the air, trying desperately to rid himself of the unpleasant sensations.
His palms tingled, caressing the ghost of your skin with every frantic movement. For the third time in his life there was nothing in his mind. It made him want to rip his hair out.
You were turning around.
Something had to be done to make you stop, he wouldn't look at you. Moving in tandem, he rolled onto his other side. The front of his boxers was wet. An urge to scream scratched at the back of his throat.
"Zandik? I- I asked you a question…"
Her voice felt like syrup, flowing into his ears. Thick, disgusting, alluring. The light sniffles were filtered out by his mind, as was the way her breaths became increasingly erratic. It felt vile, being an insect writhing on silken strands was not something that suited him.
Zandik recoiled when your fingers dug into his shoulder, you shouldn't be reaching out for him. He shuffled further towards the other side of his mattress. A calm mind to handle this, that's what was needed, and nothing about you trying to turn him around was calming. Although his mind had cleared significantly, there was still a bothersome ache in his body.
"And I said go back to sleep," he'd snapped the words at you before he could stop it.
Everything felt awful when he pushed off to stand, blanket sliding into a pile. His back was towards you when he clambered out under the net, stomping barefoot away from your little camp. Under normal circumstances he would've scoffed at anyone doing the same, if was unsafe and a blatant overreaction.
That didn't matter. Not when he could feel the sticky substance sliding down his abdomen. How it made the fabric cling to his skin. Worst of all was the smell of his own release. Even while covering his mouth and nose with a hand, he could detect those musky notes.
It made him gag, crumpling into the underbrush as he fought back the urge to empty the contents of his stomach. Morbid curiosity bid his free hand to ghost over his crotch, body jerking when he felt the wet patch. Even worse was the fact that he was still-
He shook his head, uncaring that his head still swam and any jostling came with a risk. A clear mind, that was the least he could supply. Soft sounds of running water caught his attention. Perfect.
It was closer than he'd dared to hope. Half tumbling down a small hill before he found himself on his knees. The water had already been disturbed by his movements, if there were predators, stealth was no longer an option.
The least he could do was practice restraint this time. Being found half naked, mauled in a stream was far from the legacy he desired. After what felt like an eternity of bated breaths, eyes flickering around the dark forest, Zandik dared to relax a little. If a spinocrocodile or worse had been nearby, it would've already struck by now.
Cleaning himself took longer than what was reasonable, but the cool water helped to soothe the prickling under his skin. Thoughts of you were kept at bay by his shivering, and every tantalizing memory that did make it through those defenses was quickly decimated with a simple look at the consequences in his hands.
Failure was a ruthless teacher.
His hands remained submerged in water, fingertips slowly going numb. Slivers of moonlight crept through the canopies above. There was something twisted in how gently it caressed his features when his head tilted back. Why would it shine so lovingly on him now?
Perhaps playing your preordained part was the only way to be accepted by them.
Walking back turned out to be more difficult than expected, feet dragging along the ground being a particular nuisance when paired with less than optimal lighting conditions.
How was he going to explain that he was naked? The thought of stumbling into someone else on the short walk back briefly flashed through his head, but that was a thought he would not entertain. Not until faced with that reality at least. And what would he say when you undoubtedly kept pestering him with questions?
There was no doubt that he had to go back, you still had things to complete the following day. And returning to the Akademiya alone would be folly, not when everyone knew you'd left together.
He rubbed at the bridge of his nose, briefly flinching from the cold touch. How was he supposed to deny what you would've pieced together in an instant if you were properly awake. Convincing you it had been a figment of your own imagination was undoubtedly the best course of action. If only there were dreams to blame.
Conveniently, your back was turned towards the direction he emerged from. Carefully maneuvering back to his mat, he swiftly looked through the modest bag he'd brought, desperate for something to cover himself with after forsaking his clothes in the water. A waste, but one he couldn't bring himself to care about. Especially not when his focus was broken by you moving a little.
With rising adrenaline, he swiftly lay down, struggling to pull the blanket over himself without alerting you. Clean boxers gripped tightly in his hand, he waits with bated breath for what feels like an eternity, accompanied only by your soft breaths and the ringing in his ears.
When you hadn't moved for a while he took the chance to shuffle around a bit, intent on finally getting dressed again and forget this ordeal.
"You know," your soft voice caused his breath to hitch, the silence deafening before you continued, "you could've just asked me…"
He lay frozen, leg raised off the ground, boxers halfway on as he considered if acknowledging your statement would doom his set course of action. Before he could finish the thought, you continued, uncharacteristically certain with your words.
"I'm at least guessing it wasn't an accident?"
"I simply needed some air and got up. It's none of your concern," he found himself struggling to remain cordial.
Why couldn't you just leave him be?
He heard your little huff, could almost see the way you were no doubt leering at him, deep eyes narrowed in frustration. It was infuriating how quickly you flooded his mind again, the clear water of the stream having done nothing to wash away those urges.
"Why can't you just admit to it? I know that was cum on my back, Zandik. I'm not stupid."
"Good, then you'll have no trouble understanding when I tell you to stop bothering me and go back to sleep."
Admittedly, the words came out harsher than intended, but the longer you remained awake, the more difficult it would be to write all this off as a drowsy delusion.
When his eyes finally closed, everything finally began to feel better. The ordeal had even made a comfortable weariness settle behind his eyes.
It took mere minutes before his rest was disturbed by a weight against him. He turned onto his back, wanting nothing more than look at the stars and scream. Instead he was met with your face hovering above him.
You adjusted your body, straddling his hips as you straightened your back. His eyes were wide, following the lines of your body, seeing the light bruising that had bloomed from his touch. Shame burned in his blood, not from the action but the confrontation that he hadn't been nearly as restrained as he thought.
He took a deep breath, tensing when your hands pushed down on his shoulders.
"Get off"
"Why? Isn't this what you wanted?"
He had to grit his teeth when you rolled your hips, keenly aware of the blood gathering down there. It didn't help how warm you felt against him.
"I said, get off"
You shot him a glare, nails digging into his shoulders a little. He knew the look in your eyes. You were plotting something, and if he wasn't struggling to keep his focus away from your lips, he might have been able to prepare.
The relief that entered him when you leaned forward was palpable, trapped in the mindset that you would climb back down. Instead your warm tongue pressed against his pulse, dragging up the column of his neck. It made him groan, hands shooting up and grabbing your waist in an instant to stop your movements.
That was a mistake. Once more feeling your softness had his mind reeling, and he didn't miss how sighed in satisfaction when his grip tightened. Your breath wafted against his ear, close enough that he could almost feel your soft lips against his skin.
"But I want to do this with you"
Something in your voice made him shiver, stoking the embers of an unknown force. It made him briefly pause, and that was apparently all the opportunity you needed. He doesn't have time to react before you've pulled the blanket out from between your bodies.
You're practically laying atop him, the feeling not nearly as restrictive as feared. Eyes fluttering at the odd comfort it provided.
"How are you-" his voice falters, nothing but static in his mind for a moment. "How can you enjoy this?"
Bubbling laughter ringing through the darkness is all the answer he gets, swiftly accompanied by the press of lips against his collarbone. He writhed at the feeling, obtrusive and much too intimate. Would you rip out his throat if given the chance? Would he?
His fingers were sneaking under the hem of your shirt, discovering with dismay that the fabric had a moist spot at the very bottom… You hadn't changed. Repulsive.
He has to yank your hair for your lips leave the bruise they'd been carefully nurturing. Your expression reminds him of predator moments before it strikes, and he can only scold himself for not recognizing that of course the intensity he respected would bleed into every aspect of your being.
"Stay with me."
A groan is ripped from his throat when you bite down at the junction of his neck, one of your hands tugging at his hair. Tentatively, his fingers run along the curvature of your spine, feeling how you arched for him. Warmth spread through his body with every kiss and lick to the column of his neck, barely noticing how you were grinding against him.
It did feel good, he wasn't blind to how his cock throbbed from the stimuli. But that was nothing compared to the feeling of your back splitting open under his nails, nor were the whines spilling from your lips.
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polaroidcats · 2 days
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My Beloved Monster (a wolfstar ficlet)
Remus didn't remember his life before he got cursed. For all he knew he had been born in this castle and would most likely die in this castle because let's face it, who could ever love a monster like him? If you asked him, his chances to ever leave the castle were very slim. Saved by true love's first kiss.. yeah right.
He expected people to run away and leave him as soon as they discovered what he turned into when the moon stood high in the night sky. In fact, he'd seriously worry about anyone who didn't run away when they saw the monster that lay dormant while he pretended to be princess Remus Lupin, damsel in distress, just a normal human, every day.
He had his books and his plants and his fiery best friend Lily, who he had become rather close with over the years. At first, Remus had been annoyed by how protective Lily seemed of him, always fighting his battles and never letting him stand his own ground. But eventually he understood she only had his best interests at heart and was the most loyal friend any princess could wish for, so after several months of scorched eyebrows for Remus when Lily had lost her temper with him again, they set their differences aside and became friends.
Now he considered Lily his only best friend, and would do anything to protect her, just as she would always do anything to protect him and the cosy little life they had built together in their castle. It wasn't much, but they were content in each others company and Remus didn't see any reason why that should ever change.
They had a good system - some knight in shining armor would arrive to save Remus and Lily would make sure to only let through who she thought worthy of her best friend. So far that had led to every single knight returning to their kingdom unsuccessful, making up tales about the princess in the tower and the powerful dragon protecting her. None of them had ever even seen Remus, otherwise some might have been telling stories about a prince instead but in the end that's just semantics and none of that truly mattered when it came to it.
What mattered more to Remus was when one day all his protective measures failed and Lily got distracted by the knight's truly annoying and arrogant sidekick which resulted in a knight surprising Remus in his bedchamber just as he was about to take his 15th nap of the day (a true princess needs her beauty sleep, after all). He was lounging peacefully in his bed, about to fall asleep, when he heard steps and suddenly felt someone shake him less than gently.
"Wake up!!", the knight said and Remus looked at him, frightened.
"What?" he asked, and the knight replied, asking "Are you princess Remus?"
It is easy to assume that Remus had spent his entire life preparing himself for this moment, and that was partly true - there was a part of him that was a hopeless romantic, dreaming of a beautiful knight in shining armor coming to rescue him. That part was however routinely suppressed by the much, much louder part that told him he would never be worthy of anyone's love and would die as the monster he secretly was.
So when the moment came and the (only) most beautiful knight he had ever seen had made his way to Remus' bedchamber, all he managed to say was "I-I am. A-awaiting a knight uhm so bold as to uh rescue me? I guess?"
Not quite what Lily had made him rehearse but still so much better than how he had thought he would do, if he was being honest. At least what he had said was a grammatically correct sentence and made sense and he didn't just say the first thing that had come to his mind when he saw the prince, which had been "For fucks sake why are you so hot and I'm looking like a mess, lying here with my stuffed grindylow." or the second thing which had been "I'm so fucking gay". So all in all, Remus counted it as a win.
The knight smiled at him and said "Oh, that's nice. Now, let's go!" Go?? Go where??? Remus didn't want to go anywhere, not when he finally had a knight in his bedchamber!
"But wait, uh, sir knight? This uhm this be-eth our first meeting. Should it uhm not be a wonderful, romantic moment?" The knight replied with "Yeah, sorry dude, there's no time" while he was grabbing Remus' arm, and trying to get him to leave his bedchamber.
"Hey, wait. What are you doing? You know, you should sweep me off my feet, out yonder window and down a rope onto your valiant steed!" Remus was growing angrier now, he hadn't been planning on ever getting rescued but this definitely wasn't how he would have imagined it to go, on the few occasions he had allowed himself to fantasize about it.
The knight seemed amused by it all. "You've had a lot of time to plan this, haven't you?" Remus didn't want to answer that, afraid of embarrassing himself, but he couldn't help it.
"We have to savor this moment! You could recite an epic poem for me. A ballad? A sonnet! A limerick? Or something!" The knight still didn't seem to understand the importance of this moment for Remus, as he tried to drag him down the castle stairs.
"I don't think so" he said over his shoulder. Remus was getting impatient now, who did this knight think he was? And where the hell was Lily, she was supposed to defend the tower against exactly this type of person, Remus couldn't ever imagine this knight being his true love and he almost didn't want to be rescued anymore.
"Can I at least know the name of my champion?" he asked, clearly annoyed by the whole situation.
"Uh, Shririus" said the knight.
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Helpless part 40, It is very often nothing but our own vanity that deceives us
"Neeks, you awake?"
"What time is it?" The Hades child mumbled, pushing his hair out of his face.
"11:24."
"How the fuck am I still tired?"
"Because you still need to catch up on sleep and you're off drugs medical and others after a while so you're still adjusting."
"I'll be honest I didn't process half of that." Will rolled his eyes teasingly, walking over to mess up his hair more than it already was. Will started to look through some files he'd brought in with himself as Nico started to get ready,
"Can I braid your hair?"
"You know how to braid?"
"Not very well, but Kayla made me learn a few years ago before she had to let Aussi cut her hair on a dare."
"I can imagine how well that went, but sure." Will sat next to him, brushing out and parting his hair before starting to do a french braid. "Do you have the second volume of Heartstopper?" Will laughed, quickly kissing Nico on the cheek.
"I can't believe I thought you were straight but yes, I have all the books."
"I can't believe I thought you were straight."
"Think you were the only one Neeks."
"Oh shut up Solace."
"Don't think I will di Angelo."
"Gods save me."
"What do you want to eat?"
"Nothing." He answered almost instantly,
"Not an option."
"I'm not hungry." He promptly ignored him and pulled out three ceral bars from his pocket,
"Pick one."
"Leave me alone."
"Do you feel sick?"
"I- I- just... can't, drop it William."
"I'll leave them here, just eat when you can, alright?" He said, half hugging him.
"Fine."
"Nico, have you considered talking to someone? Maybe keeping a journal as well?"
"Only if you'll also get help." He couldn't think of something he wanted to do less but Will needed help, desperately.
"It's not your job to worry about me."
"Will, I'm your boyfriend, it really is."
"Are you comfortable with the idea of talking to someone?" He was fine, he knew he was worthless what's the point of lying to himself.
"N-no." Fuck, this wasn't going the way he hoped.
"Nico, you don't need to do anything that you aren't comfortable with, that won't help. Also... I'm sorry about last night.. I- it's- yeah I'm just sorry."
"Will, no one's perfect, you need help, please, just try to."
"Neeks, I'm fine, really. I was just shocked last night and yeah, there have been a lot of people in the infirmary because of the war normally it's just less hectic." Lying through his teeth, he hated himself for it but that's fine, just another thing to add to the endless list. He wasn't Nico's responsibility, he doesn't need anything else on his mind.
"Just, take a break every now and then, I swear you're always working."
"Actually Kayla's ban me from working for the rest of the week soooooo."
"Good, you need it. Wait does that mean I don't get to see you for a week?"
"Nope, you can't get rid of me that easily. Apparently I'm too much of a simp for that, but I have a feeling she's timing it to make sure I don't spend the whole day here."
"I can see that happening, but you need a break so she is completely right."
"I really hate you sometimes di Anglo."
"I know." He whispers, blowing the son of Apollo a kiss.
"Solace, times up!"
"Better go Sunshine, also... I'll try journaling, I don't know if it'll help but I'll try."
"I'm proud of you Neeks," He ruffled his hair before pressing a soft kiss to his lips, he kissed him back, wrapping his hands around his neck."I'll see you soon."
***
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oddballwriter · 8 hours
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The Baby Dream
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Summary: You tend to have "the baby dream" every once in a while, but you never really mentioned it to your boyfriend Marc let alone had a conversation about having a baby with him in general. You tell him about the one you just had this time.
Warnings: not really anything real to warn about other than the reader's character feels a little sad when they find out that their baby was only something in their dream. Implied afab reader and implied that they breastfeed their baby. 
Author’s Snip: I have a mix of baby fever and recently had a baby dream of my own so I decided to use that as a prompt.
I’ll shut up now. Enjoy! And don’t be afraid to request.
Word Count: 618
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Taglist: @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction (you too can join my tag list, just ask)
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The sound of a small soft grunt and whine wakes you right up. The morning sun breaches through the bedroom curtains and gives the room a soft lighting that makes the room visible without burning your still sleepy eyes. You look around for a bit, finding Marc still asleep and snoring softly. You sit up in bed and find the source of the noise, seeing a crib in the corner of the room along the wall.
Oh, looks like Mel's awake. Who's Mel? You and Marc's baby daughter of course!
You get up, careful not to wake Marc since he dealt with her waking up and crying in the middle of the night. Walking over to her crib, you look down and see her look back at you with her cute little eyes. They look just like the boys', all big and doe-like.
You scoop her up and out of her crib and cradle her in your arms. You feel her weight in your arms along with her squirming slightly to get comfortable.
"Good morning," you softly coo, "How'd you sleep? Huh?" you ask her. Of course, she can't answer, but judging that she didn't wake up crying like she usually does when she's had trouble sleeping, she slept just fine. Mel's tiny hands grip your pajama shirt. "I see we want breakfast now," you comment in response to her grabbing.
You walk back to the bed so that you can be comfortable while you feed her, but when you're supposed feel yourself sit, you wake up.
The room looks just the same, say for the fact that Marc is in the act of getting up out of bed this time. "Oh shit, sorry, hun. Did I wake you up?" Marc asks. You shake your head and carefully sit up and look towards the corner where Mel's crib was, but there's nothing there. No crib or baby...
Right. You don't have a baby together. It was just another baby dream that you have occasionally. You feel a bit of weight in your chest at the fact that you and Marc's baby girl wasn't real. Even though she only existed in your dream for a moment it felt so real. Like you actually had her and took care of her.
You realize that you're starting to tear up and shake off the feeling. "Sorry, I just had a dream," you explain. "Do you want to talk about it?" Marc gently asks. You take a moment and then a breath. "We had a baby," you say, "That was it. We had a baby together and I woke up to her waking up and I held her for a bit before I actually woke up." you explain further. "It's a normal thing. I have dreams where I have a baby from time to time." you mention.
Marc just look at you for a second. You look towards him to see what has him so quiet. He has that look on his face when he's thinking about something and trying to choose his words. You let him do his thinking before he finally speaks. "Do... you want a baby?" he asks.
"Yes?" you say, unsure yourself. "I don't know. It's sort of a hormone thing, like baby fever," you say. "We've never really had that talk before, I know. So I don't know if you want to have kids," you mention. "Okay, but do you want to have kids someday?" Marc rephrases his question. "Yeah. I'd like to have a family with you someday when we're ready." you answer.
Marc nods. "Yeah..." he says, "I think that would be a good conversation to have sometime soon." he adds with a slight smile.
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sil3ntfr34k · 1 day
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Postal 4 boyfriend Headcanons
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(Guess who found about how to do a buillted list insides of manually putting dots :D)
Mans is probably in his early 40’s and feeling every second of it.
He’s not much a romantic, but he knows how to love. Like he knows he’s supposed to give you gifts, listen to you rant, support you in anything, hug you, give affection and words of encouragement, the whole sha-bang. Is he good at it tho? Kinda,,,
You probably met him during his ‘job hunting’, when he was running around this a sign that said something along the lines of “Willing to do something strange for a bit of change”. Caught your attention IMMEDIATELY
You thought he wasn’t too bad looking, something of a roughed up silver fox. He was pretty toned for someone his age, forearms are pretty big and that’s just what you needed. You ended up taking him up on his offer and made him clean out your gutters. You just sat there and watched as he worked himself throwing out heaps of wet leaves and random junk from your gutters.
He came out obvious dirty so you gifted him $40 and a shower. It’s like heavens light shined upon him when he heard the words “You can take a shower here if you’d like?” fall from your mouth was enough for him to marry you in that moment.
Postal Dude has been raw dogging it homeless style for a couple months up to this point, so any kind of reward he came across was a fortune to him. Gladly accepting this kind gesture, he was still thrown out for the rest of the day. You both came upon an agreement that he could stay the nights on your couch, but he still had to go ‘job hunting’ during the days. Didn’t matter to him, he still accepted it. As long as he had a safe place to sleep with Champ.
Side note, you loathe Champ being around during the day since he digs holes everywhere in your front AND back yard, so you make Dude take Champ with him everyday. Dude doesn't mind since Champ is kinda like an attack dog so homie very useful when Dude's walking around
Once your relationship with Dude has reached it's peak (dating), he becomes very attentive and energetic. Where he was once tired and reclused, he's now got some energy in him and filled with affection
Dude loves to be around you and touching you. Biggest love languages are quality time and physical touch, sometimes words of affirmation if he's feeling extra sappy. He's probably been through the works of brutal relationships, so he really wants to settle down, which leads me to my next thought
Mans is getting old and creaky. Sure he's still got muscle and all, but they're honestly just for show. He couldn't hold back Champ from attacking someone he isn't supposed to even if his life depended on it. So, he's staring to wear down and just wants to find someone to relax with.
Red flag time, he's talking about marriage about 2 months into the relationship and tries to move his scrap in without you noticing, which usually fails. It's not that he's using you for your home, Dude just wants to feel like he's finally in a normal relationship. No bitchy attitudes being thrown around, no constant nagging for something stupid, no arguing over small things, no constant threats, just y’all being in love together
Eventually your gonna have to let Champ wonder the house and train him to be a guard dog rather than just an attack dog. You’re definitely the one to look up dog training classes and making Dude go with you to these said classes.
Even with how much he loves to be around you, there are still times when his mental and physical illnesses make him ill 😔 but he still tries to snap out of it
His main problems are most likely his chronic muscle pains and his auditory schizophrenia. (I think all the dudes are some sort of schizo, it’s just that p1 and p2 are the strongest showing ones)
Being older means his body is slowly deteriorating. Sure he’s not that old, but with how he lived in his golden age, he should really be dead. Constantly on the run from the government, having to stay sharp to kill, and fucking his way through Paradise and Edensin, he’s ready to just lay down and let the earth reclaim him
Having a long history of schizophrenia in the family and his own lifetime, it’s thankfully dwindled down to just hearing voices randomly. Since he can only hear these voices it doesn’t scare him as bad as it used to. All he can really hear is a distant conversation that he can’t make out the words to, it’s sort of like a mumbling between a woman and a man. Many times you’ve found him franticly wondering the house with a confused look on his face saying “I thought there was people in here?”
Overall, he’s an old man who’s been through enough and would just like to relax. Give him kisses, give him cuddles, feed him, and talk to him, and he’ll love you for eternity (so gay)
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pepprs · 1 year
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not doing good. at all
#purrs#today and yesterday ive been unspeakably depressed. and no one knows what to do with me and i don’t know what to do with me. but ivs been ge#getting absolutely SHIT sleep bc of my siblings staying up late and my sisters ocd stuff which is probably part of it. I now im wide awake a#and it’s 2 and im miseravle and can’t sleep and already did sleep for 2 hours and it didn’t help and im hungry and weak#i truly don’t n kw what’s wro ng with me. i want to be happy and normal but every day i have long moments where im trying so hard not to cry#and i think most ppl would excuse themselves to go cry or take a break or like. speak up and ask for help if they’re miserable but i don’t d#do any of that. i just hold it all in until i get so tired it disappears. and then when i do snap im too miserable and ashamed to actually b#be honest about how anyone can help me which only makes me cry more. atp idk what will help. im in therapy now im about to have some time of#km eating food i like even though it’s not the healthiest ive tried resting and getting sleep and whatever. maybe im just not cut out for#any of what im doing and i just need to detach myself from reality even harder than i am already doing apparently. idk nothing im typing is#making sense i just can’t fall asleep now and im so pissed at my siblings and im pissed at my whole family for not giving a shit that im mis#miserable and easily overstimulated by noise bc i could’ve had ghe room downstairs and im still being held hostage by redacted and being#shaken awake to redacted like last night and work is killing me for the dumbest reasons. i literally cannot keep living like this#delete later
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rosielav · 7 months
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Bellefast has been coming to me in my dreams recently, in a similar way to how Monteith and Jibblie do
I find myself at The Circus, but in a sleeping quarter of some kind. And I can hear the festivities going on outside, in the big top. I'm apparently just passing through, but know everyone well enough that they let me stay on the property.
The only person I don't know is Bellefast, which is strange since he's the Ringleader, you tihnk I'd know him quite well, if I know all the clowns and performers and stagehands.
And he doesn't know me. So when he stumbles into the sleeping quarters, whiskey and candy floss on his breath, and falls into the bed, he's caught by surprise. As am I.
It feels like maybe a creative exercise? Maybe my brain wants to flesh this character out more, so it's putting him into my almost asleep brain so that I have to learn more about him.
So far I've learned he has a drinking problem.
#Rosie rambles#My dreams have been very strange lately especially my almost dreams like I'm about to fall asleep state#Whenever I describe things like this none of my friends think it's normal#Like to fall asleep I have all these situations play out and scenes and I don't have control over them#I can be like man I wish Monteith was here cause I can't sleep#And then Monteith will crawl out of the closet and Jibblie will be doing cartwheels on his shoulder#And he'll say something to me in a voice I never expect bc that's kind of his thing#And then usually Jibblie will do a trapeas act or something to keep my brain occupied#Trapese? Trapeese? I don't know how to spell it. You know the flips and shit#But the past two or three nights it's been Bellefast and I have little control over him#Meaning I can't think for him to say something or do something he just does what he wants#Which is to sleep. Drunkenly. Next to me#I didn't even mention his mind control powers but it's more like... Persuasion? Or like.. I want this#So you want this now too#Idk how to describe it exactly but it's kind of like Damien from The Bright Sessions except he uses it for good#...... Mostly. He mostly uses it for the big top performances and getting everyone genuinely excited about The Circus#He doesn't implant false feelings into your brain it's more like he coaxes out stuff like you WANT to be having a great time right now#So then they DO have a great time#I guess it's like releasing your inhibition? Versus mind control technically#But yea the drinking problem is more of a concern to me lol he relies on it after every performance regardless of the time of day#OC: Bellefast#I think I want to tag my OC places too#The Circus
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goldkirk · 2 years
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geez. I want so badly all the time now to get back in contact with other people and apologize to my relatives and try to explain why I ghost everyone and apologize and explain what I’ll do instead in the future but I cannot even remotely get myself to execute a plan to do that
#i got a lot to apologize to a lot of people for#a lot of kids I’ve let down by not following through on things I said I’d do months ago#and a couple weeks ago#and i found out my birthday is only days away and I don’t want it and I don’t like that and I would rather be unreachable in the Arctic than#consider a birthday right now#i don’t know what I am as a person and I don’t considtently perform or feel the same hour to hour and I haven’t told anyone anything for#months and also I keep avoiding any and all medical care and if someone tried to make me I’d be relieved but also run away#it’s just fucked#I know I’m making rewiring progress but it feels like I’m locked in a claw machine#watching my external shapeshifter self secretly make each of her attempts fail#I’m back to feeling like I’m losing my sanity a lot of the time again#mostly I don’t know where to start. I don’t know where to start.#i thought getting enough sleep every night would unlock more than this#and getting set loose on food and gaining weight for once#and living in a safer place and having my ability to journal start creeping back#I’ve drunk the water I take the meds I build the safety I eat the food I care for the dog I keep myself calm I try to be aware of my body#i do the breath work I do the yoga none of it DOES anything I’m just STUCK#i keep having the same debates and the same sabotage and the same inaction over and over and over again#but if I let go of some control the little kid ‘I’m the center of the universe’#part of me comes out and makes me go WAY too hard with see-sawing the opposite direction of normal#and it makes people uncomfortable and ends up preventing me from getting taken seriously ANYWAY#raps on head gently. please. i am fucking begging#either shut off the pride for a while so I can get us through the agonizing and mortifying shame stage while I get help or shut off the#self sabotage so I can get help while retaining pride#jesus h Christ#please#I KNOW I DON’T SEE MY OWNSYMPTOM SEVERITY CLEARLY U CAN’T FOOL ME BRAIN#I know what avoidant numbing is!!! i know what unaffected attitude and minimizing and laughing it off are!#I’m not gonna back off this time I NEED TO GET OUT OF DEBT AND INTO HAVING HOBBIES U DUMB BRAIN please for the love of god work with d#*me
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kazzsbrekker · 2 years
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flutterby5 · 10 months
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#some days are so hard like I am very not okay a lot of the time these days but rn I’m actually okayish so I can’t put it into words#but like basically I’ve been have trouble sleeping recently and it’s only gotten worse…to the point where I’ve been waking up every single#night and it’s so hard to get my brain to be sleepy again and go back to sleep#and it’s ruining my life like being exhausted makes life sososo hard I’m miserable and everyone around me is laughing and lighthearted and#I just wallow in my own misery…like when I’m okay I’m okay but when I’m not I question everything#I should really just quit my job and focus on dealing with this chronic insomnia I have now but I’ve been trying different things and#nothing has stuck..part of me probably isn’t trying hard enough but how can I with a full time#job and the need to feed myself and chores and getting my mind of everything and trying to workout more like??#that’s why I need to quit but I am hesistant to move home like I don’t have to but still then I wouldn’t need to pay for rent yknow but I#I also kind of don’t want to move home bc it’s quite nice not to and for covid reasons bc I’m like the only one I know that still cares#about covid lmaooo but like there are definitely pros too like I’m glad I still have the option tbh#but I wish I could just sleep and didn’t have to fight my own brain every single night why can’t I just be normal like I know no one is#normal but also why does everyone else do such a good job hiding it while I just feel like I’m just bringing the mood down by struggling so#much..like also my dept so small rn and I actually do lie my coworkers they really already take a lot of weight comparatively and are#reliable that I feel bad idkkkk why can’t I just sleep like seriously. wtaf is wrong with me#random thoughts don’t mind me#I’m so fucking tired
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the-kipsabian · 1 year
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..ofc i get booked for something the entire next week when i was hoping to keep it clear for mania week activities :/
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