#i'm just really tired of fighting with myself 24/7 about this
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hm.
#maybe it's time i put some actualy thought into the possibility that i'm autistic#because the more i read about it#the more it becomes very clear that every facet of my mental disorders could. very easily stem from autism in some way shape or form#my anxiety#my social anxiety specifically#my thing about specific noises and foods as sensory related issues#the way that burnout affects me and also the way that I can't verbalise how things are specifically in my brain#a lot of my other attributes like my gender/sexuality also align with more autistic behaviors but that's obviously not a telltale sign#aroace nonbinary people are not all automatically autistic#i always go in circles with myself about this because my brother has an autism diagnosis#or at least he has been tested and been given a 'very likely' kind of answer#but my mom has ADHD#(her dad and her brother are also suspected to be on the spectrum but they've never been tested)#but every time I bring up the possibility of me being autistic with ANYONE outside of my friends it immediatley gets shut down#idk how to feel about it anymore#but me being autistic would explain so much? but also i don't want people to just think that i'm using that label because it's#like 'hip' nowadays or whatever the fuck in online spaces for people to self diagnose autism and shit like that#i'm just really tired of fighting with myself 24/7 about this#so.#it's a label i want to be able to use because it makes SENSE and it explains so much about me?#but i don't know for sure and i don't know if i ever will#tonight's one of those nights man#i am once again oversharing on the internet#the depths of the blog#not pjo#not omgcp#not fandom
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PROMPTS OF ALL PROMPTS
I would definitely make intense smut prompts later! For now I hope you enjoy these fluff angst prompts instead!
Requests are always opened!
For others that want to use these prompts! You're free to do so! Just tag me no need to credit. I would love to read it and see what you came up with!
--
FLUFF PROMPTS
“Can you hug me”
“My teammates gets annoyed because I talk about you 24/7”
“Can we have a date night tonight?”
“Do you know you're pretty”
“Why are you being a pain?”
“Stop simping for me you simp”
“Your blushing you idiot”
“Are you kidding me? I love cuddles”
“Your hair smells good.”
“I just want to lay here all day”
“Can you wash my hair for me?”
“I really need you right now”
“I like you.. well no… I love you”
“I love your smile”
“You sent me inappropriate pictures. When I was out in public”
“Why are you so clingy?”
“Fine. We can stay home tonight”
“Dance with me in the rain”
“Let’s jump in the puddles!”
“Can I sit on your lap?”
“Kiss me please!”
“Can you rub my arm in circles?”
“I’m wearing your shirt if that’s fine!”
“This still smells like you” (long distant or for breakups)
“Your mom gave me pictures of you when you were a baby.”
“Stop you’re making me blush in public”
“Don’t… I’m ticklish —“
“I can’t sleep can I stay here”
“I had a nightmare…”
“I care about you”
“You mean everything to me”
“You make me feel like I’m at home every time”
“Can I give you a hug? You look like you need one”
“Stop denying it! You need sleep”
“You’re so adorable.”
“You make me so happy.”
“I need pads”
“I don’t ever want to lose you”
“I feel better now that you’re here with me”
“It’s like we are meant to be”
“I’m not going anywhere”
“I feel safe when I’m with you”
“I can’t reach the top shelf.. Can you help?”
“Here take my jacket.”
“I just started my period…”
“I’m right here baby, it’s okay”
“I’m so in love with you.”
“I’m never leaving you.”
“You're mine forever.”
“Should we make it official?”
BEACH PROMPTS
“Can you do my sunscreen?”
“Why is your massages better than you scratching my back”
“Please come in the water”
“Stop it’s cold!”
“I'm going to splash you!”
“My sandcastle is better than yours”
“I won!”
“Don’t throw me in the water!!!”
“I’m trying to tan”
“Stand in front of me you block the sun”
“Can you give me a piggyback”
“The sand is hot”
“Come with me on the floatie!”
“Can you set up the umbrella?”
WINTER PROMPTS
“it’s snowing!”
“We are locked in…”
“Let’s look at the stars through the window”
“Can we bake gingerbread cookies”
“You got frosting on your face”
“It’s so cold..”
“I love hot coco.”
“Look! I caught a snowflake in my mouth!”
“You got snow in your hair!”
“My snowman is better!”
“Whoever gets to the bottom of the hill first wins!”
“It’s freezing, could you turn on the heat?”
“Snowball fight!!!”
“I got snow in my boots, now my feet are cold.”
“Dw! I’ll warm you up!”
“Let’s build a fort!”
“This is the perfect time to set up the Christmas tree!”
“Ooh! I love sledding!”
“Woo! That was sooo fun!”
“Here! I made this one just for you!”
“You have such good decorating skills!”
SUMMER/CAMPING PROMPTS
“It’s so hot!”
“Can I borrow your hat please?”
“May you buy me a slushie? I forgot my wallet”
“The mosquitoes are killing me”
“Here let me spray you”
“Let’s go on a hike!”
“The sun is so bright.”
“Did you forget the sunscreen.”
“Baby, can you get my backside please?”
“I want to go swimming.”
“Can we just stay inside!”
“This is the perfect spot to set up our campsite.”
“I got the marshmallows!”
“I’ll help you set up the tent. But.. I don’t know how.”
“I’m already tired.”
“Let's roast marshmallows!”
“I made a smore just for you!”
“We can share.”
“Come swimming with me!”
“The water is sooo warm.”
“I rented a boat. You know how to drive it right..?”
“Don’t worry, of course I got the beer.”
“I love summer parties.”
“No… I didn’t steal your towel… Ok fine I did”
“Put me down – Ok ok fine fine! You win.”
“Can we go on a road trip?”
“You pushed me into the water, you jerk!”
“I couldn’t help myself… All the ice-cream flavours looked so good!”
“I didn’t buy any more ice cream.. The receipts are lies!!!!”
“Can we stay longer!!”
ANGST/ARGUMENT/BREAKUP PROMPTS
“You promised me.”
“You lied. You said you would never leave me.”
“Don’t lie to me. I know everything”
“Please don’t do this.”
“I loved you.”
“Why don’t you trust me”
“This can’t be goodbye.”
“Please don’t walk out.”
“Why are you doing this?”
“I don’t love you.”
“We were never meant to be.”
“I just wanted to be enough for you.”
“I don’t forgive you.”
“Stop saying sorry! It’s always ‘I’m sorry’. When you really aren’t”
“If you’re sorry, why did you leave me?”
“You thought I was dumb.”
“I know you’re lying.”
“Why did I fall in love with you.”
“I’m so stupid to think we had something.”
“You never cared about me.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Stop being selfish.”
“I moved on.”
“You cheated on me.”
“This isn’t working…”
“No. We can’t… we are too toxic for each other.”
“Why me..”
“Us? There was never an ‘us’.”
“I’m done.”
“It’s better if we just stop seeing each other.”
“I can’t love you.”
“You broke my heart so carelessly. Now you want forgiveness?”
“You don’t deserve me.”
“Leave me alone.”
“Your always mad at me.”
“What do you want? Because I could care less.”
“I was such a fool.”
“You talked to her and then lied about it.”
“You told people that you were single…”
“I thought you loved me..”
“How could you…”
“That’s not going to happen. I already told you.”
“What's wrong with you seriously?”
“You lost me”
“Where’s your new gf/bf?”
“Shouldn’t you be with your new gf/bf”
“I thought things were going amazing”
“I thought wrong…”
“This is goodbye.”
“Don’t you love me?”
“I can’t live without you.’
“What did you expect me to say?”
“Our relationship is in the past. I’m sorry.”
“I like someone else.”
“This will be the last time you lie to me.”
“How did you think this wouldn’t hurt me?”
“I think it’s best if we don’t meet again.”
“You didn’t love me, did you?”
“I hope you're happier.”
“At least you got what you wanted”
“I was miserable and I still loved you.”
“Stop pretending. You wanted me like this… You wanted me broken and you got what you wanted.”
“We can’t keep talking. This isn’t healthy.”
“It’s best if we stop talking… like forever.”
“You're not the same person I fell in love with.”
“You don’t own me.”
“You act like everything is fine when it’s not!”
“Can we not argue for once.”
“Not now. Not even in a million years. I would ever think to give you another chance.”
“I fell for your lies again, and now I’m not anymore.”
“I was nothing to you. I was only a toy for you to manipulate and I fell for it.”
“Why wouldn’t you admit to everything! This was all your fault.”
“I hate you.”
“I despise you.”
“You were my ride or die.”
“I don’t fall in love. I don’t want to be loved or love someone else.”
“If I leave you know you would never see me again.”
“I deserve better.”
“You were my first and would be my last.”
“Don’t – Don’t make me fall in love again.”
“You know we can’t..”
“I know this is random and we haven’t talked in awhile.. But can you stay with me one more night and just forget about everything.”
“It was indeed. The wrong place the wrong time”
“Good for you!”
“Why can’t you be happy for me for once?”
“We shouldn’t be together anymore. I’m supposed to hate you.”
“How could I be so oblivious..”
“Why did I even think I could be enough for you.”
“I needed to hold you once more.”
“I don’t understand.. Wha- what are you saying..”
“I don’t want to say something I’ll regret later.”
“Don’t bother to call me when you need something later.”
“I didn’t mean to. I was just mad..”
“Please forgive me.”
“Why are you suddenly coming back into my life after I just started to do good.”
“Do you not understand the words ‘I’m done’.”
“Haha! You think I love you? That’s pathetic.”
FICS/STORY IDEAS
Here’s some storyline ideas. You can decide if you want it angst or fluff or whatever! I don’t mind if you take this ideas. You don’t need to credit just a tag, so I could read it! Would be great!
All the promises were already broken.
Just one more night with no feelings, nothing. After that we forget.
Reader finds out their relationship was nothing, but a lie.
He wanted her back. She moved on.
Even after breaking up. They still find ways back to each other.
He manipulated her and she fell for it.
They are toxic for each other. But always end up in bed with each other.
He wanted her back but she isn’t giving him another chance.
He left her and she still wanted him back.
They were never meant to be and they knew that. They just can’t let each other go.
She just wanted to be enough for him, but he didn’t care.
He cheated and she found out. Now he realized he can’t live without her.
He didn’t deserve her. But her love for him is stronger.
They thought they had something. But then decided it was best if they stopped seeing each other.
She always forgave him, but this time she didn’t.
How could you be in love with someone who is always mad at you. She knew it was best if she just left. But after everything they've been through it wasn’t going to be easy.
She couldn’t love him as much as she wanted to. It was forbidden to sleep with someone you worked for. But she couldn’t help but ignore the rule.
He was such a fool for letting her into his life. But maybe it was the best thing to happen to him.
They broke up, but they can’t live without each other.
Their relationship was fragments of the past, but deep down their love was still stronger than ever. What happens when they meet again?
She thought things were going amazing. Well she thought wrong.
He got what he wanted and he was happy. Meanwhile she was still broken and miserable.
Their relationship was amazing at the start. But over time the person that she fell in love with wasn’t the same.
After years of talking. They decided it was best if they stopped. Maybe it actually didn’t stop in the end.
He didn’t listen and thought everything was fine. She knew everything wasn’t fine and just wanted him to listen.
She despised him. He was arrogant and only cared about himself. That was until he gave her a ride home.
She didn’t want to fall in love with him again until his touch made her do the one thing she didn’t want to do ‘fall in love again’.
They stopped talking, but he called her wanting just one more night to forget about everything.
No denying they loved each other. But this was their third breakup. It was just best if she left for good.
He was her first love and would be her last. (either she could meet someone else or something!)
He didn't care about any girls and most importantly. He didn’t fall in love. That was until he saw her and his whole life changed.
She knew he was pretending and she wasn’t falling for it.
After years of dating they finally said the 3 words. ‘I love you’
Maybe being snowed in wasn’t so bad after all.
He didn’t seem to understand the words ‘I’m done.’ If they were done, why was she in his bed again.
After years of apologizing. Apology accepted.
After she said don’t ‘bother calling when you need something’. Turns out it was her in the end calling for something.
Maybe jealousy is something that can reunite the flame that was lost.
He was jealous and she didn’t care.
She didn’t trust him. Until one night when drinks got the best of her, and waking up on his couch realized how wrong she was.
She thought he didn’t love her. Until he showed her how much he did.
He didn’t understand that she was breaking up with him. She wanted so badly to say no. But her desires got the best of her.
#prompt list#prompt fluff#fluff prompts#angst prompt#angst prompts#writing prompts#prompts#angst#fluff#winter prompts#beach prompts#summer prompts#camping prompts#fun prompts#writing#prompt idea#prompt ideas#smut ideas#smut prompts
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@infernalight asked:
Angel was tired of it. Tired of Valentino acting like he owned him even when he wasn't at the studio. He had turned his phone off, ignoring Valentino's calls and texts, spending the day shopping with Cherri. After dropping everything off at the hotel, he turned his phone back on to even more texts from Val. Though one text in particular caught his attention. He wasn't just threatening him, he was threatening his friends. He really knew how to get him to do whatever he wanted, didn't he?
Sighing, he pushed himself up off the couch he had fallen into as soon as he got home. Slowly, he dragged himself out of the hotel once more and down to the porn studio and as soon as he arrived, he found Valentino, anger burning up inside of him.
"Who the FUCK do you think you are, Val?" He asked through gritted teeth. "I'm off the clock, remember? I worked all night for the day off. You agreed to that so who gave you the right to threaten my friends because I took the day to myself?" Words dripping with venom as he stood his ground against his boss, knowing he was only making things words for himself. Though, if it meant Val would leave his friends alone... he'd take whatever Val wanted to throw at him.
Valentino could say he was obsessed, not that he would admit it. He was obsessed with his little pornstar. He owned him. He was his, and he hated the fact that he now had a life outside of him. Oh, how he wished he never made a flaw with that contract. Otherwise, he would be under his control 24/7.
Of course, this didn't stop Valentino. He needed to know where his little whore was all the time and he hated not knowing. Of course, he could have easily asked Vox to find him on all the cameras and what he had around the city, but Vox and him had another fight and he wasn't about to go ask a favour especially when it was about Angel.
Valentino ended up breaking his phone after the hundredth text went unanswered. Val knew he probably went overboard with the threats but he needed to gain Angel's attention.
He was the middle of shooting with some of his lesser known pornstars when Angel burst in, causing everyone to stop what they were doing . The moth Overlord pushed himself up when his star began mouthing off to him in front of everyone.
His eyes narrowed as he yelled and everyone to get back to work. He stared down at the spider, reaching out and grabbing his arms before dragging him into his dressing room, pushing him in before slamming the door behind him.
"Who the fuck do you think you are?" Valentino said using his words against him. "You think you can come into my studio and mouth me off? Who owns you Angel? I don't give a fuck if you think you can get away from me because you can't, you will always come back to me because you are mine Angelito. You belong to me. Do I need I need to remind you of this?"
He regrabbed his arms and pushed him over to the couch and throwing him onto it. "Strip." He commanded.
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ETS WIP Chapter 16: End Script
[first]|[more]
As the last of the worms was killed and banished into their home plane, the last person that Lyta wanted to see was Ji.
"I was surprised you chose me of all people," the thin, but stupidly hot, Exterminator said.
"Yeah, well," Lyta said without thinking, she felt like she had to response and the filler words were the first thing she spoke into existence. She was still trying to reign back her anger, to keep it under control and not say something stupid or mean or callous. Now was not the time. She took a breath. "You're an asshole but you're still one of the best Exterminators we have so it wasn't really even a question. Besides I still know your employee ID number so it was easier for me to look you up."
Not entirely without anger, but sometimes it just is like that.
Ji shrugged. "Well, I never got to see you really fight like that so... if you ever want to transfer over to the Exterminators give me a call. We could go for a drink or something."
Lyta briefly caught Aeth's eye from across the hallowed field of servers and graveyard of worms and phones.
"I'm good where I'm at."
Aeth, meanwhile, was being interrogated, or rather very harshly questioned, by two members of the Catalog and Archive Bureau.
"You unleashed a god upon tech support," said the one that was not tall. "You stole an unrestrained small god that was supposed to be closely monitored and let it loose within one of the most complex systems in the world."
"Yes," Aeth said. "It was necessary."
"We will be the judges of that," said the one that was not short. "This is going to have ramifications."
Aeth nodded. "And letting the Abyss go unchecked would have been much worse. A thing that you were supposed to deal with, but were... indisposed."
Lyta had walked over by this point and cut off the agent that was about to speak, "Not to mention your Bureau is responsible for letting a sentient nightmare out that almost consumed my friend whole. So should you really be casting blame."
The one who was not tall sputtered a little bit before he answered. "We were not informed."
"Oh, funny that. You can go clean up the corpse of 3812-B in my friend's apartment. When you figured out how the thing that was supposed to be monitored 24/7 managed to get out, almost complete the goal for which it spawned, and you still didn't know about it, then we can discuss the ramifications of the thing that saved us all."
"You'll be hearing from us," the one that was not short said angrily.
"I'm sure we will," Lyta snapped back. "But until then fuck off back to the file cabinet."
Aeth heaved a sigh of relief as the agents stomped away. "Thanks. For everything."
Lyta smiled up at Aeth. A warm, but tired smile. "Any time. Can we get out of here? I need a shower, food, and probably a call to a repairman and my landlord to fix my apartment."
"Before you go," came a voice from one of the servers. Out of an unused port, came the representation of the new God of Tech Support.
"What can we do for you?" Aeth asked.
"I owe you two more than I can say," Sir Lance Corporal said. "I am now more than I ever was. I feel like I am myself and I have a purpose. I thank you humbly for your efforts in this event. I hope we shall work together again soon."
The pair just nodded.
Then, just in Aeth's mind, came the voice of the god, "Thank you for your faith, as well. It sustains me and gives me the strength to continue."
Aeth nodded and replied in prayer. "It was nothing. Easy to believe in something good. I'm sure Lyta feels the same."
There was a soft sound of a server next to Aeth that sounded almost like a chuckle.
"Lyta does not, and that is fine. She believes so much, in you. That is enough for me, I hope it is enough for you."
Aeth wasn't entirely sure how to respond.
"Go, get some rest you two. There will be work to be done when you return," the god of tech support said.
"Ok, thanks," Lyta said. She turned to Aeth. "I have an idea, it may be a dumb one, but it's all I've got right now. Let's get a hotel room, shower, give our clothes to the pros to clean, eat some room service while we hang out in fluffy robes, and then just... sleep."
"It sounds great."
"My apartment is probably covered in like three inches of snow melt."
"And I'm sure the Catalog people are combing over my place looking for 3812-B."
"Which will be easy to find, right?"
"I hope so."
As the pair walked off, somewhat hesitantly, Aeth put their arm around Lyta's shoulder. Lyta immediately warmed to the touch and moved closer to them.
Sir Lance Corporal made sure to tell the hotel to only offer them rooms with a single bed.
if you liked these maybe considering leaving me a tip on kofi
#eldritch tech support#the end of this first draft#i hope everyone enjoyed this#i'm gonna probably write up a postmortem about how i feel about the whole thing what i think needs to be changed and stuff#let me know what you thought about the whole thing
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Your alive?! || Peter parker
Warning: Shouting, swearing, Fighting, Arguing, mentions of attempt of suicide.
Pairing: Peter parker x Stark reader
Summary: Your Tony Starks daughter. Peter and You have a big argument, which leads to you finding out you have powers. These powers you couldn't control in that moment, so Peter has to fight you to calm you down. But then Peter ends up getting hurt.
Hi, I'm Y/N Stark and I'm sixteen years old. Before you ask, yeah I'm Tony Starks daughter. No one knows that he has a daughter, well only the avengers know about me.
There's nothing really interesting about my life. I've mostly been kept away from the world because of my father. He thinks it's too dangerous and that I'm not capable to protect myself. However I think he's wrong, I can protect myself very well.
All the avengers are nice to me though, that's the only good thing. Maybe that's a little lie though as one of the avengers, Spiderman, isn't so nice. Peter Parker his name is. He's sweet, cute and kind to others but to me he's rude.
I don't know why he hates me so much or why he's such a dick but he's been like that from the start. I'm only rude to him because he does the same to me.
"y/n Stark you are staying here" my Dad argues back. All I asked was If I could join on the small mission today, or even just watch it.
"Please Dad! You never let me do anything. I'm sixteen! And you let Peter go on missions" I argue back.
"Peter is Spiderman. Y/N yours just-"
"I'm just what?....Yeah I'm just me. Just because he got bitten by a fucking spider doesn't mean he's any special to anyone else" I snap.
"Language" Steve shouted.
"Fine then. Peter will stay here with you" My father said.
"What!" me and Peter said at the same time.
"I'm not staying here with this fucking nerd" I shout.
"Y/N DONT BE SO RUDE! I have to go now, we will talk about this later. And your grounded so stay here" And then he ran out of the room.
Me and my father always argued about things like this. He just never let me try things on my own. I can look after myself and he clearly doesn't realise that.
I then heard the front door shut.
"Well your going to be here alone because Im going out" I go to walk out of the room.
But before I could even leave the room Peter spoke. "Your not allowed out. Mr Stark said your grounded" Peter grabbed my wrist.
"I don't fucking care what 'Mr Stark' thinks" I mimic the way he calls him 'Mr stark' and not Tony, yanking my wrist away from his grip.
"Your being childish y/n" Peter chuckles.
"I'm being Childish?! He's the one who never lets me do shit! IM STUCK IN THIS TOWER 24/7! AND IM FUCKING SICK AND TIRED OF EVERYONES SHIT." he really pissed me off and so has everyone at this point.
"You need to calm down and stop being a bitch y/n. Your not going out end off because I'll just get Mr stark to come back"
"I actually hate you so much Peter. Fuck you! I'm going out" I tried to walk out the door still mad, however I felt Peters hand on my wrist yet again.
"Let go of me Peter, I'm warning you" I say.
"You can't do shit y/n. Remember I'm Spider man and your just you. Y/N Stark who is a nobody and the biggest bitch ever" He spits in my face, my blood now boiling. This just made me so angry so I punched him in the face.
How could he say that?!
He then groaned in pain, but I didn't care. I felt so angry and sad after what he said.
"Y/N? Are you okay?" Peter looks at me. He was looking at how flames were now flaming out of my body.
I had no time to react, I had no control over myself. Next thing I know, I was throwing fire at Peter and I couldn't stop. He luckily had his suit on but I was still hurting him.
"Y/N Calm down. I didn't mean it-"
"WHY PETER! WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS SO RUDE TO ME" I shout at him, my anger taking control over my body.
"Y/N CALM DOWN" He webs my wrist but that makes my powers go off more. Fire came out of my hand and went across the floor.
When I realised what I was doing, I started to get worried. "I CANT STOP IT PETER" A tear rolled down my cheek.
"AH SHIT! Y/N THE TOWER IS ON FIRE" Peter kicked me onto the floor and I groan in pain.
"PETER GET OFF ME" I punch at him whilst he holds me on the floor and webs me up.
"Not until you can control-" he didn't finish his sentence as I somehow blasted him into the wall. He smacked his head against it and fell on the floor.
Reality then hit me, "Peter?" I look at him passed out on the floor, not moving. Finally my powers that no one knew I had calmed down. I wasn't on fire anymore and I just felt dizzy. "PETER! Wake up stop joking around" I shake him but it was no use.
"PARKER! WAKE UP. I'm sorry please. PETER IM SORRY! I'm begging you, I didn't mean to. GET UP. I'm sorry-" and that's when the door slammed open.
"Y/N STARK WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED!" My dad came over to me, whilst the other avengers helped put out the fire.
"It was an accident, I couldn't control it. I DIDN'T KNOW I HAD POWERS" I cry, going to stand up.
"Peter?!" He pushes me out the way.
"We need to take him to the lab!" Bruce shouts.
"He's gonna be okay though right?" I panic looking at his lifeless body.
"I don't know y/n! HE COULD BE DEAD RIGHT NOW!" My father shouted. My heart felt as If it had been stabbed lots of times.
This can’t be happening!
Did I kill Peter?
What have I done!
"What happened here kid" Nat asked.
"I-I think I should leave. I've done enough damage to the tower and now I might've k-killed P-peter" I run out of the tower.
Shouts were all I heard the others call after me, I just ignore it. To be honest, I didn't know where I was going, couldn't really care less. I just had to run away and be far away from everyone as possible.
Skip 6 days:
It's been six days now since everything had happened. I just can't deal with all the pain I've been experiencing right now. Im standing on top of a roof, preparing myself for what Im gonna do. I know I shouldn't but it's the best way to stop all this pain.
"I'm sorry Dad that Im the worst daughter ever. I just wanted to be more like you and Peter and everyone else. I'm s-sorry Peter. I loved you so much and you didn't even know. I lost control over myself. I didn't know I had powers and that's why I have to do this. I deserve it after all. I'm gonna jump now and I'll be with Peter" I say to myself and walked back.
As soon as I was about to Jump I heard a voice.
"I wouldn't do that If I was you" That made me turn around and I saw him. Standing in his suit with his mask in his hands and red puffy eyes.
"P-Peter?" I rubbed my eyes to make sure I wasn't hallucinating.
"hey" he smiled.
"Your alive!" I run to him and hug him for dear life.
"This is nice" he hums whilst he hugs back.
"I-I'm so sorry Peter. I didn't mean to do that, I had no control. I t-thought I-I k-killed you" I sobbed into his chest.
"Hey, hey. Don't cry. It's not your fault, I'm alive see. I deserved it"
"NO! You didn't deserve what I did" I look up at him.
"I'm fine now though. Everyone's worried about you, you've been hiding really good. Did you mean what you said?" he stroked my cheek.
"Mean what?"
"That you love me" I just nodded.
"Well I love you too. And the only reason why I was so mean to you was because I've had a crush on you for so long now. Im really sorry about that. How about I make it up to you? A date?" he smiled.
"A date it is" I leaned up to kiss him on the lips, which he returned back.
#tom holland#fluff#peterparker#peter parker fluff#peter parker oneshot#peter parker x reader#peter parker x you#peter parker imagine#spiderman nwh#tony stark#spiderman#spiderman x reader#spiderman x you#tom peter parker#spiderman imagine#like#angst to fluff
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I love my daughter I really do. But I also hate her. I know thats not something you should say as a parent but I can't handle her anymore. She pushes all of my buttons she takes all of my patients. She take away time I should give to my son. My son feels neglected because I have to deal with my daughter 24/7. He's acting out at school and he says it's because mom doesn't spend time with him. I want to spend time with him, I'd rather be spending time with him, but instead I'm giving all of my attention to my daughter.
She is sucking the life out of me. I've thought about adoption... its definitely crossed my mind. But I don't want my daughter to wonder why mommy doesn't want her. But the truth is... I don't. I don't want her anymore. I'm stuck with this child that will do anything to be bad.
My soul is tired. I'm tried everything. I've looked into respite care and heard nothing back.. I just want a fucking break. Parenting is already hard but parenting a child with ODD and ADHD plus a sleeping disorder is even harder.
What did I do to deserve this?! Why won't her POS father get off his phone and help me with her?! Thats the only reason his dumbass is even here.
My soul is tired. My body is tired. My mind is tired. I want to give up. I just want to end it all. End me. Finally be set free and rest.
I love my daughter but I resent her. I regret having her. I'm stuck with her.
I know this all sounds bad and I sound like a bad mom but I don't care at this point... I'm tired. I want it all to end.
Someone save me from this fucking nightmare I am living. There is no such thing as relaxation for me.
Her teachers asked me "Ashley what do you do for yourself?" I had no answer. I don't do anything for myself. I don't have time.
I wake up get the kids ready throw my hair in a bun get my son to the bus stop and get my daughter to school then I work a full time job after that job I come home feed the kids dinner make sure they took their meds bathe them put my son to bed and then fight my daughter to go to sleep for hours. By the time thats done I'm EXHAUSTED. There is no time for me to do anything for myself. Weekend are even harder. Following my daughter around just trying to keep her alive and out of trouble constantly.
I hate my life. I fucking hate it. How did I end up here?? I'm burnt out. There is nothing left of me. I'm a soulless burnt out corpse on auto pilot everyday.
I love my daughter. She is made from me. I grew her in my tummy. She is one of the reasons I'm still alive today.... but she is also one of the reasons I don't want to be alive today.
#parenting#ODD#oppositional defiant disorder#adhd#life#daughter#love#mentalheathawareness#venting#im living a nightmare#autopilot
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Hi there! Congratulations!!!
I'm sooo excited for the matchup ~
1: I'm an ISTP-A and a type 7w6/7w8 (I'm not sure-) I have trust issues, anger issues and abandonment issues (perfect childhood) I get along with two types of people 1: the calm, nice and patient people 2: those who have anger issues but are soft and cool inside, someone whose trust worthy and honest and never betrays me, is the best, and I like being random, not too random, but honestly, someone who knows when to be random and how fun and at the same time know when to plan something, is awesome, I like joking around and teasing people I love, but just sometimes, it's so sweet seeing them saying "alright alright, I'll forgive you, but this is the last time!(it's not). And I also can't connect with people who are always planning stuff, it's just not my thing and kinda makes me feel like I'm stuck in a time loop and then my brain just can't work well and I get tired pretty soon, I also would not like a buzzkill, and people who always lie and can't be trusted
2: I have read storm bringer and I absolutely loved albatross, iceman, verlaine and Adam (no need to mention the love of my life chuuya) and I have read the manga
3: I like writing, listening to music, drinking and playing my electric guitar / drums, painting, playing video games and fighting (I'm learning Kickboxing and ninjutsu since I was 10, it's a hobby now)
4: I'm okay with all of them
5: she/her
6: well I'm really good at poetry and writing, I'm also very independent and I can protect myself but I would love someone whose able to protect me if needed, I also love using my art to show my lover how much I love them
Thank you very much ✨
Hi! Enjoy your matchups!~
The images do not belong to me. They belong to their original owners.
Calculating...
Your sibling figure is... ALBATROSS!!!
-Chaotic brother-sister duo for the win
-Albatross loves how much you resemble Chuuya. Which means that he's going to be teasingly annoying with you, but he will also laugh with you and make everything much more funny
-He has unlimited energy. So he'll always be hyping you up with stories about his day, and there's never a dull moment when you're with him. Albatross likes how you also tease and joke about, because it makes him reciprocate it and brightens up everyone's day
-He's very interested in your hobbies! Most of the time, he would take out your earbud and listen to whatever song you were listening to, and probably throw in some statements to make you laugh. Make him a playlist; he'll listen to it 24/7 and will never get tired of it
-Teach him how to play the electric guitar and the drums! Albatross would love to learn the two instruments, because he’s always curious to new things. He would even compose songs or pieces for you when he has time
-Fighting? When Albatross heard that, he thought it was pretty cool. Definitely wants to spar with you, but he wins most of the time (he’s a mafioso soooo). He’ll even offer to teach you some fighting moves that have saved him quite a couple of times in the field
-Takes you to visit the Flags whenever you both have time. You’ll most likely end up playing billiards with them and drinking whisky, but sometimes you would have a chat with them as well. They lowkey ship you with Chuuya
-Albatross is pretty touchy as a brother figure. Expect hugs and headpats, but if you wanted space, he would give it to you. He likes how you’re quite independent, but he wouldn’t hesitate to come to your aid if you needed it
-He would also be the first one to see all of your poems and writing. Albatross would mostly give positive feedback, as well as lots of encouragement. He even tried writing a poem for you on your birthday
-MOTORCYCLE RIDES!!! Or just any rides in general. Albatross loves to talk to you about his vehicles, and he always picks the finest ones for you. He’ll even let you choose your own design and make it for you
-Also very protective of you. Somebody bullying or hurting you? Albatross isn’t having any of that. He can and will shut down their business overnight, and he will also take care of them personally
-Your days are always brighter thanks to Albatross. This man will never be tired of cheering you up and hanging out with you, because that’s the type of brother he is
And your parent figure is... HIROTSU RYUROU!!!
-Hirotsu is a pretty chill dad who actually babysits the Black Lizard
-He doesn’t really mind your teasing and joking side; it’s kind of refreshing for him honestly, because he always deals with idiots who dare to mess with the Port Mafia. Hirotsu also likes listening to you talk about your day
-He loves spending quality time with you, whether it be doing an activity with you or just being in comfortable silence around you. Hirotsu also likes engaging in conversation with you, and finds it amusing when you laugh at Tachihara and Gin’s scuffles
-As we all know, he sucks at video games and does not understand them one bit. So teach him how to play them! He might grumble a bit at first as he tries to get used to the controller, but with patience and a few more gaming sessions Hirotsu would be a pro at whatever video game(s) you play. He still prefers watching you play them though
-Hirotsu is also interested in your poems and stories. In his free time, he would read them and even give you some feedback on how you could improve. He strikes me as a secret lover of art, and he likes your drawings/paintings too
-He likes how you could defend yourself, because in his long years serving the Mafia, too many recruits were killed because of their inexperience in combat. Hirotsu definitely asks Tachihara to train you in handling weapons, but he isn’t too worried for your safety. He still goes with you sometimes on your missions because you could never be too careful
-Hirotsu will never leave you or abandon you. Even when in the Mafia, you have to take care of yourself first above others, he’s had enough experience to be able to take others under his wing. And he is very loyal to the ones that he cares for, so you don’t have to worry that he’ll betray you someday
-The Black Lizard treats you like a sister. Gin is willing to go shopping with you and listen to you talk, Tachihara likes to game with you and Higuchi just likes to spend time with you in general. If you ever find yourself in danger with no way out, the Black Lizard would come and protect you
-Hirotsu does not take to your teasing well... but let’s be honest he’s like a tired dad who has to babysit many kids lol. Some teasing and joking around would be funny time to time, but too much is not good
-I have the feeling that he would offer a few ‘wise’ words to comfort you when you’re in need of comfort. Hirotsu would listen to you talk and offer a few words of advice, but if you want some time alone to yourself he will respect that and give it to you. But he would appreciate it if you told him what was wrong because he wants to help you
-Overall, he is a calm, stoic parent figure who is there for you whenever you need him
And last but not least, your mentor is... ODA SAKUNOSUKE!!!
-I feel like he would be the same mentor he is like to Akutagawa in Beast
-Oda is a calm but good mentor. He never yells at you, but he will discipline you. It’s not as bad as you expect though, because he’ll just give you a small lecture and immediately forgive you after you’ve apologised
-He does share some of your interests, especially writing and reading. Oda gives good feedback for your stories and poems, even when he might be a bit blunt at times, he genuinely wants to see you improve. I reckon he would even give some writing tips too
-I feel like Oda will mostly train you in combat. Depending on your skills, he would either focus on training you in chases or how to subdue the enemy without killing them. He was an elite assassin once, and no doubt he could pass on some of his skills to you. Just... please don’t burn down Yokohama
-He doesn’t really mind what you do, however he will provide guidance when you need it. Oda gives really good advice, even when he himself thinks that it isn’t. He was a bit surprised when you told him that his advice worked well, but he is perfectly happy to give you more
-Over time, Oda will even take you to visit his orphans! If you’re not good with children, Oda will give you some tips on how to handle them and what their likes and dislikes were. They’re pretty good kids, a bit active sometimes, but if they sensed that they were being too rowdy they will tone it down for you. Oda asks you to look after them for a while, and it secretly makes him happy that his student and his kids were getting along well
-He will encourage you to take risks, but he won’t force you to do it if you don’t want to. Oda wants you to grow, but he wouldn’t make you do anything against your will. That wouldn’t exactly be called ‘mentoring’
-You can tell Oda any secret of yours and he’ll take it to his grave. I guarantee you that you cannot find a more trustworthy person than him. Feel free to spill everything to him, and he would never judge. Secretly he would wonder why you were choosing him to tell your secrets to, but he is also honoured that you chose him
-He is good at comforting you. Whenever you feel sad, angry, anxious, stressed, or worried, Oda will listen to you speak before offering words of encouragement. If the worse comes to worse, he might even give you a hug, but that was if you really needed it. He wants you to know that he would always be there for you, whether it be as a mentor or as a friend
-A man who is willing to observe and help; Oda makes a really unique mentor
Sorry that this was kinda bad :’)
#bsd x reader#bungou stray dogs x reader#bsd platonic#bsd albatross#hirotsu x reader#oda x reader#silverbladexyz's 100 follower event
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About the fic YuTae 'Longing or love'
A/N: Hey guys, I thought I should update on you all on what happened to part 2 of the YuTae fic.
I'm sorry that I'm a gaesaekki (asshole/jerk). I know that I said in the reply/comment that part 2 would come out soon but I'M A LIAR, PROCRASTINATER AND I'M SORRY. My bestie has told me that I should at least update you guys on what is going on - so that I don't keep you guys waiting or expecting something for too long! But something as updating and telling my readers what's going on is such an obstacle for me, because I don't really use social media that much aside from scrolling Tik Tok. 💀 Tik Tok addiction is too big, ngl.
Well the number one reason is I just really haven't been in mood to write tbh, even though I'm horny 24/7 and this fic is spicy.
Like I'm just a lazy piece of shit (me) when it comes to reading and correcting my fucking fics, I just hate it and I don't know how to explain this, I've made it a toxic habit to only write fictions before I head to bed, so when I read or write at evening I get sleeply. and associate writing fics with bed time. 💀
Then when I end up writing it's always somehow between 2-4 AM and I re-read it in the morning it's like gibberish and shit 💀
Like my English isn't English-ing 💀
Why do I always create this fucking evil circle of creating and starting new fics and then never updating them or continuing them? 💀 I'm giving myself the biggest bombastic side-eye and I be eyerolling myself so hard🙄 whenever I come across the thought of never updating or continuing any of my fanfics *coughs* TTORW, *coughs* LAB.
I get easily frustrated, overwhelmed and stressed when certain things don't go my way. I'm sighing so hard as I'm writing this ramble of a note or update. Like once I touch the keyboard I can't fucking shut up.
Second reason for not updating is the fact that I'm fighting for my damn love life and I can't move on! 🙄 My stupid crush from work won't take the fucking hint that I'm fucking into him, that fucking bastard. 🙄 Like I like and love him so much but ain't no way am I going to tell him or convey my feelings to him like that. He really thinks that flirting with me privately at work and calling me by my nickname isn't going to let me know that he's totally into me. (I'm so delulu and I know that. But please shut up.🙄)
He's playing hard to get, then he gets easily jealous when I'm joking around with my male colleagues and he is always on his damn phone that asshole! 🙄 Do I really have to make the first move and tell him that I'm into him? No way! Imagine if I did end up confessing he would reject me because he doesn't feel the same or just sees me as a close coworker.
UGH. FUCK LOVE. HONESTLY I'M TIRED, I SHOULD STAY SINGLE AND NOT BOTHER MYSELF WITH THIS COMPLICATED LOVE LIFE. I NEVER SIGNED UP FOR THIS SHIT. Anyways this song is too real and relatable to how I'm feeling about my stupid crush right now.
내 눈앞의 너를 보면 (When I see you before my eyes)
한없이 작아지는 걸 (I feel so infinitely small)
심장이 멎을 것만 같아 (As if my heart could stop any minute)
난 참을 수 없어 (I can’t stand it anymore)
This is all your fault.
Sorry for my random rant about my love life. If I'm being brutally honest, I think the main reason for my delay and procrastination of writing or continuing fanfictions is the fact that I only write fanfictions when I genuinely want to and have the actual energy to do so.🤷♀️
When I do write it is extremely important that I'm having fun or enjoy the time I'm writing. I hate it when my hobbies suddenly or slowly turn into obligations or chores that I 'must' complete.🕴
After all, writing fanfictions is a hidden passion and hobby to me, I don't write to gain popularity or to build a fanbase, I just like the idea of fantasizing, writing feelings, making unsual or exciting plots and and creating fake scenarios within the Kpop fandom. I post what I think would be a fun or entertaining piece of work to read through. I don't write and post fanfics to gain clout or expect 5K notes on each fic. (Not that it is wrong if you write fanfictions for that reason, to each their own💗)
I also like the idea of making Y/N more diverse or unique, as someone who is of South East Asian descent, I like making Y/N Asian or mixed Asian. I love creating chaotic, funny or relatable Y/N moments to my fellow pocs or even non-pocs.
Lastly, I want to say a huge thank you for reading my fanfictions despite the fact that I don't update them. I want to thank you for scrolling/skipping through my fics just to read your favorite parts or certain lines, even if it's for the small parts that you enjoy in my fics.
I highly appreciate the fact that people even come across my fictions. Even if you don't end up reading through the whole thing, I am super thankful for you just taking a look at it or even saving it in your drafts. Thank you for the likes, comments and support for my fanfictions. Thank you for your patience and kindness.💞
Sorry for rambling, anyways I had to explain myself for delaying my fic and I have probably repeated myself multiple times, sorry. As soon as I've posted this author's note, I will take a look at (Lol aka longing or love) and try to check what I'm missing and try to write on it. Sometimes you just run out of inspiration and that's okay too, but I hate keeping people waiting so I'll look and work on it little by by little.
– Author L. out ✌️
#YuTae Fanfic: Longing or love#Lee Taeyong#Taeyong#Y/N x Taeyong#Lee Taeyong Imagines#Lee Taeyong Fanfic#Taeyong Fanfic#NCT Taeyong#Nakamoto Yuta#Yuta#Y/N x Yuta#Nakamoro Yuta Imagines#Nakamoto Yuta Fanfic#Yuta Fanfic#NCT Yuta#NCT x Reader#NCT 127#NCT U#NCT127 Fanfic#NCT Scenarios#NCT Writing#NCT Writers#Kpop#Kpop Fanfic#Kpop Fanfiction#Boy Groups
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Tagged by @queerests !
I love talking about myself, so...
[art by @sugar-drift]
Here goes; much to everyone else's chagrin and my delight, this is a long post!
1. Are you named after anyone?
Yeah, my great-grandmother. Luckily it's a gender-neutral name so even though I'm trans, I kept it.
2. Last time you cried?
I was playing Dark Souls until midnight recently (last weekend iirc) fighting the Gaping Dragon and my partner was being sardonic in his jokes as usual but I was tired and started crying because I tilted and thought he was disparaging me/frustrated with me for dying to the boss so often with the constant "OK yeah, just...don't dodge!! Hahaha!!" and stuff. Luckily he apologized and helped me pull myself back together. I'm kind of a crybaby, to be honest.
3. Do you have/want kids?
I have no kids. I am really indecisive on the latter. My partner really wants kids, and would prefer to have a child with my genes; when he said he wanted a biological child I suggested surrogacy and sperm donation so that there would be humans with his genes and he was like, "no... I want them to have your genes..."
I don't dislike children at all considering I literally work with them in my career. I think they are delightful little people and it brings me joy to see how they grow and change. However, I also really like having boundaries in my life where I get undisturbed 8 hours of sleep every day and only interact with said children for 40 hours a week; I would have to give that up for 24/7 child duty if I became a parent. Also knowing myself and recommendations from my doctors, waking up every 2-3 hours to feed a baby would literally make me suicidal. In the words of my OB/GYN: "it's not a matter of if you get postpartum depression, given your mental health history, but when." Also where I currently live is extremely hostile to pregnant bodies and I would like very much not to risk death or jailtime and exorbitant fines/legal fees just to have a biological kid. 20% of all pregnancies result in miscarriage (especially early on, before the person knows they're pregnant) and I can be tried for a felony if literally anyone suspects or alleges it was an "abortion," and they get paid to do so. There is no medical difference or test to tell if pregnancy loss is one or the other. It's a whole thing.
At the same time, I work in a Title I school and I know and love many delightful foster children I would love to share my knowledge and resources with to improve their lives. The state is hostile to children, too, and those kids don't have a choice about living here the way adults do, since they're with the state department of children and family services. Our local DCFS is woefully in a perpetual crisis because they discriminate against queer and non-xtian households in fostering and adoption; the ratio of foster children to available homes is 40:1 here. I'm very passionate about this, and one way to put my money where my mouth is is to go into foster care. However, I would need my support network if I made that leap to parenthood and my family doesn't support fostering ("what if their trauma/issues are so bad it endangers you!!") and insists on biological children. Oh well.
TL;DR I'm on the fence regarding the future and if it includes children and in what form, but I know I definitely don't want any biological children right now. I've always thought about adopting or fostering an older child.
4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?
No, I generally mean what I say. I have a hard time identifying sarcasm in others (thanks autism) so I generally avoid it. The only time it appears is in self-aggrandizing humor in lieu of self-deprecating humor (i.e., "I am the pinnacle of grace!" when I trip) to try to fix my mental health. Currently positive effects, I highly recommend.
5. What's the first thing you notice about people?
Hair and teeth. It's always been hair. I don't make eye contact if I don't know you very well but I generally look at people's heads to make it look like I am, and stare at mouths to lip-read a bit because of auditory processing issues. If you get a haircut or dye your hair, it takes me a bit to realize who you are, especially if it's a radical change (thanks autism for the prosopagnosia.) I scared my classmate in high school when I noticed that his two front teeth were pared down to be even with the others at the dentist. Apparently, no one else noticed? He freaked out when I asked him, "Hey why are your front two teeth shorter than they used to be?" I also respond to surprise significant hair changes in my loved ones...not that well. I got mad at my partner for shaving his head down to a buzzcut because it was such a drastic and sudden change, and was distressed to tears by my dad shaving the beard he'd had for 20 years.
6. What's your eye color?
Really deep chocolate brown. Not dark enough to be almost black, but much darker than any of the hazel hues my other family members have.
7. Scary movies or happy endings?
If it's not Jordan Peele, I'm going with happy endings. I'm really sensitive to gore, and vomited when watching the Aliens films.
(CW: Alien spoilers, death)
I liked the Alien franchise, but I puked in the popcorn when watching Prometheus during the improvised C-section to remove the alien in the protagonist's uterus scene and my brother was pissed. His friend helped me out of the movie theatre and rubbed my back while I couldn't stop shaking and puking and reassured me that he felt nauseated at that part too and personally wasn't mad at me for reacting like I did. I was crying about embarrassing myself in front of my brother and his friends. It brings tears to my eyes again to remember how gentle he was even though he was a teenage boy. He stopped talking to me after he became addicted to opiates, he was too embarrassed to tell me. He disappeared in the Russia-Ukraine war, presumed dead. He was a great person. Damn, crying again. Like I said, I'm a crybaby.
8. Special talents?
I'm told I'm a good cook. I failed o-chem once and withdrew the second time because I had a massive panic attack before my final exam, but at least I took away some skills from that. I use my knowledge of organic reactions and interactions between organic molecules to maximize flavors in coffee, curry, and other edible things I create.
I'm also told I'm a skilled 2-D artist. My mom saved this shoe I drew and shaded by smudging my pencil in 1st grade. The art teacher sent it home and told her I should go to art school. I even made a college art portfolio and took commissions for a bit, but when it came to having to do art for a grade or for money, it felt like my creativity and desire to create would just shut off under the pressure. I just do art as a hobby, now.
9. Where were you born?
In a hospital via emergency C-section in the middle of a thunderstorm like a badass.
10. What are your hobbies?
Drawing, embroidery, puzzles, reading non-fiction, tabletop and video games.
11. Have any pets?
Two little papillon dogs. One is a teenage boy, the other is an elderly lady.
12. What sports do you play or have you played?
Currently, I run. I recently got 2nd place in my age group in a 5k race this past fall. In the past, I did track and field, tennis, swimming, and kickboxing. I tried my hand at yoga and HEMA, but didn't stick with it. I got kicked out of ballet and basketball as a kid for being ADHD and autistic which made me awful at following directions and being a "team player," respectively; it's also why all my sports listed above are individual. 😅
13. How tall are you?
5' 6" when I don't slouch; I'm working on it!! I'm a short king.
14. Favorite subject in school?
It's a tie between science and art. If you read my other paragraphs, this seems obvious in retrospect.
15. Dream job?
I'm in it: dyslexia and reading interventionist! I do what I love (learning about the brain and how people learn and process things!!) and teach people how to do what I love (reading!! also learning about the brain!!) and it gives me meaning to serve others but still actually make good money above the average for people in my area with my degree and education.
No pressure tags 🩶 @deerstar4 @thatsoup @waflfurs @lemon--berry @woodrider @arthallea @pandatlas @jesterpup @litho-sphere
#yip speaks#yip contributes#art i like#other people’s art#furry#furry art#art for me#reblog bait#tag game
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since i was asked so nicely by a lovely anon...
here’s the first half of colby’s tweets from 2020.
i don’t have proof that these are his tweets, but believe me, they are his.
if it’s bold and italicized, it’s someone’s tweet to him.
if it’s in (), that’s just me commenting lol
added bonus: if they have a * next to them, that means it’s been deleted
~~~~~~~~~~~
Jan. 1 - being stuck in an elevator with 15 of your friends is the best way to start 2020
i kissed my hand this new years
ladies and gentlemen we are floating in space
Jan. 2 - thank you all i love you all
Jan. 7 - weird to think that about a year ago i was sitting in a cell in FL.. time flies
Jan. 11 - lmao i love you guys you get me
Jan. 13 - only fools rush in
Jan. 15 - you took the sun with you
when you left
-RK
the back of my mind has a constant itch for you
Jan. 16 - happy jail anniversary @/SamGolbach thanks for bailing me out
Jan. 19 - i promise you i’ll never act my age
Jan. 20 - real talk. should sam and i go on tour 2020?
(this makes really sad…)
Jan. 23 - there was an old man who kept coming to the 13th floor around 3am where our room was last night. i don’t like miami anymore i’m headed to orlando
Jan. 31 - looking for that deep connection with someone i'm tired of the superficial shit
Feb. 2 - IM DRUNK AT 3PM LETS GOOO CHIEFSSS
Feb. 4 - my couch is like a bed i could stay here forever
@/BigNik: Nobody cares about my well being but that’s ok
Feb. 5 - you should rap about this real shit bro that would change a lot. turn this emotion into art. i hope you know even if i’m busy i’m always still down to talk as well brother
(i don't like big nik, but this was such a sweet interaction <3)
out of curiosity , would YOU ever spend the night in Queen Marys room B340 if you could ..?
Feb. 6 - imagine if we could all go explore some crazy haunted place one day … together. 🤔 i wonder if that’s even possible
if anyone is taking high school Chemistry right now , i’m so sorry
Feb. 7 - sometimes i can’t take a joke and it’s so annoying
Feb. 8 - i really don’t like myself when i party too hard but i got the best friends in the whole world
@/badboywolfy: This is Saturday afternoon regret hours
you feel me
Feb. 10 - valentine’s day is coming up soon i think i’m gunna throw up
Feb. 12 - sometimes my mind can turn into my worst enemy
Feb. 13 - cant stop thinking about living in another big house with all my boys.. life is about to be insane
keep on fighting and i will too
Feb. 14 - to whoever left a basket of chocolates and teddy bears at my door .. i <3 u
Feb. 15 - I MISS DUBAI
Feb. 16 - shadow man is watching
Feb. 17 - my pupils make me look like i’m rolling balls CONSTANTLY
Feb. 18 - still trying to process the psychic saying i was an old soul estimated to have lived a past 21 lives .. shit messes with your head
Feb. 20 - meeting you guys never gets old
Feb. 24 - missing the nights alone on my balcony
Feb. 25 - express your creativity
(i always wonder why he tweets shit like this out of no where lol)
Feb. 27 - blue haired Colbys makin a comeback
Feb. 29 - i'm always feeling like i'm in a dream
March 3 - need to watch the sunset more
March 5 - i don’t wanna tell my story i’d rather hear yours
March 8 - if this is all we know then we might as well run with it
March 9 - who’s down to have some deep conversations i’m tired of small talk
March 11 - just had my first sleep paralysis dream .. never experienced something so terrifying
praying for the world right now
(and here we go into the pandemic stuff……… great)
March 12 - you can have the prettiest face but i still won’t f w you if the personality isn’t there
March 13 - knowing that we all know nothing
March 15 - i haven’t stocked up on food or hygiene essentials does that mean i’m going to die ? am i making the wrong move here ?
March 16 - if postmates stops delivering i’m actually fucked
random fan: Just sit on your balcony, the stars will feed you
the balcony is the answer to all my internal worries/suffering
March 17 - day 3 of no food in the quarantine, not sure how much longer i can go with just a few almonds to spare. everything is spinning slowly.. i’ve been seeing silhouettes in my room dancing gracefully on the walls, i think my mind is leaving me. would you guys be mad if i ate Sam?
March 18 - time moves on, memories never fade
March 20 - the worst thing is never the last thing
March 22 - i think the only person i can really make crack up is myself
March 24 - it’s times like this i wish i had a little dog by my side who i could call my bestest friend..
@/amberscholl: here u go (pic of george)
can i borrow him? just for a week..? .. or maybe two?
@/amberscholl: (gif saying 'you want it? come and get it')
see you tonight
March 26 - guys i’m trying to learn how to dance but it’s gunna take some time i’m too awkward
March 29 - my last night on the balcony
March 30 - where the emo girls at
(i remember this tweet causing so much chaos in the fandom. everyone claiming they were emo… absolute madness lol)
March 31 - what can i say? me and the boys got gluteus to the MAXimus
(i take it back. THAT PHOTO OF THE BOYS NAKED AND THEIR BARE ASSES?!?!?! died right then and there.)
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3,6-10, 12-22, 24-25
Let the violence commence!
to start with I was like what is violence about this? Now I see
Also, going to go with x-men. there are other fandoms that I was mentally thinking about for some of these but i don't want to actually be murdered
also, AHHHHH still enjoy asks so much
3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr
Charles dies before Erik of alcohol poisioning. Like there's not comics and movies where he dies of literally everything else first. The man dies at least once a day.
6. which ship fans are the most annoying?
It's cherik shippers. It's us, let's be honest, I'm sure it is. What other ships are out there?
7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?
Logan. I don't know everyone is like FUCK MAGNETO LOGAN IS THE MEOW MEOW MURDER ERIK and it's like...excuse you. I want to see them fight this out themselves. I mean Erik would win but still.
8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about
Charles is a night owl, Erik is up before the sun every morning. I've seen so much of people flipping it or saying Charles is somehow both. I'm sure the telepath doesn't get much sleep but Erik? He doesn't either. Charles just stays up late trying to tire himself out enough to sleep and Erik sleeps until he can't and then he's up and out of bed and it's like 4am.
9. worst part of canon
MOIRA FUCKING MACTAGGART. I was going to say the lack of cherik but i think we've been given that.
10. worst part of fanon
I can't really think of anything. I mean there's the constant nom-powered au that leaves me wondering what Erik's problem is then but it's nothing I have that much of an issue with. More just curious
12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them
I suppose Erik doesn't count? It seems like most of the general population is convinced he's just an evil villain and dislike him. Charles? I mean people seem to have the right ideas. They like Pietro and I'll take that.
13. worst blorboficiation
Going back to logan about this one
14. that one thing you see in fics all the time
A negative thing? positive? something I just noticed? no beach divorce. I see that a lot.
15. that one thing you see in fanart all the time
I don't actually see that much fan art. I don't know? Cherik kissing? That seems to be most of what I see
16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)
The fics based in canon where Charles can just suddenly walk and is fully able-bodied. Like if he's using a cane or walker or something sure, all for that but like post-apocalypse and he's walking or they're on Genosha and it's magic.
17. there should be more of this type of fic/art
Misunderstandings, secret relationships, and insecurity are all tags I start ao3 for almost daily
18. it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on...
Still want more dofp fics where Erik is there as Charles's powers return and sees the pain he seems to be in. Or fics dealing with Erik's mental state after solitary. I can't write them all by myself. Someone help me.
19. you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like...
mpreg is coming to mind. the idea of Charles and Erik having a biological child? Charles pregnant during Cuba and getting Erik to come back that way? OR Erik leaving, realizing he's pregnant, and then coming back to Charles to protect their child? YES
20. part of canon you found tedious or boring
Jean Grey.
21. part of canon you think is overhyped
Honestly, not to keep bringing it up, but still haven't seen the Logan movies
22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores
It's the little things. Erik saving Charles as they crash on the beach. Paris. The way Charles winces when he sits in Darwin's cab during first class. Oh also "you're always sorry, Charles, and there's always a speech"
24. topic that brings up the most rancid discourse
Similarities between Erik and Shaw I think. I hate when people are like "Oh so now you're turning into the man that killed your mother" no, he's not turning into a nazi fuck off. He's making some...decisions. but he's not literally turning into shaw.
25. common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing
...how bad the last two movies were. Don't get me wrong, they weren't great. They certainly weren't the level of the first class and dofp, but they had their moments. I don't think they were entirely terrible and some people insist they weren't worth the time watching them.
#don't hate me i'm sorry for the logan stuff#its not that i don't like him#i just like erik more#and i've been made to feel like i have to choose#and erik looks like he could use the support#logan has enough of it
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stealing a mutual's idea of exposing my weaknesses shfhgb
so obviously i have my likes and limits on my pinned post but . they're vague and not really detailed so why not expand upon some of them and add some.
this is a terrible idea because i'm giving all my switchy friends ammo to use against me!! but that just means i'll have to get better at resistance. which is definitely possible because i'm most certainly not extremely easy haha...
disclaimer: yes! i do let people, anon or not, hypnotize me through asks, and maybe dms if discussed beforehand. however, that still requires respecting my limits. i'm all down for being a little hypnotoy you can take for a joy ride, but i am still a person. there hasn't been problems so far (knock on wood) but i'm saying it anyways just in case.
okay, now the fun stuff below the cut:
fractionation - pretty self explanatory. if you start rapid fire fractionating me, my brain becomes mush. particularly effective with the words up/down and drop/wake. on that same note ...
rapid fire/trigger spam - okay so trigger spamming is silly sometimes because it reminds me of like. a starter tist you'd find on reddit or something that just spams the word sleep at you hoping it'll work. but when used tastefully? holy fuck. not giving me the time to recover/think about it is your best shot at getting me down
resistance/bratting - these themselves aren't weaknesses but they're likes that have weakness within them. if you can eventually convince me that i want to drop and obey more than i want to resist and win, then you'll get me. this isn't as easy as you think, because i am quite stubborn, competitive, and i like winning.
being sleepy - this doesn't even really need explanation, but i am very easy when tired. but i mean tired tired, because i'm tired 24/7 anyway lol. but catching me after waking up either in the morning or from a nap makes it harder for me to fight. that and if i'm straight up just sleep deprived, like i only got 2 hours or i've been up for 16+ hours, i'm even easier.
instant inductions/unexpected triggers - this ties into the same reasoning for rapid fire—not giving me time. i will most likely drop and then wake myself up, so you have those few seconds of vulnerability before i recover to do something.
covert/conversational inductions - also relatively explanatory. for covert in particular, if i don't notice that you're trancing me then i won't know that i'm being entranced. and i can't fight against something i don't notice. for conversational, i will definitely notice at some point. it's just dependent on how early i notice to be able to fight it off.
whatever the fuck you call what this ask was - i'm bad at words so i don't know what to identify this as but this? holy fuck. this just slides into my brain so easily dhfjfj. 💖 you didn't see this
"____ for me" - i made this a post and it blew up for no reason dhfhg. i am way more likely to obey a command if you throw a for me on there.
praise - i'm very easily flustered so lots of praise gets me into a very blushy, shy, keysmashing state, which could be used to make me fuzzy.
dumbification - making me feel all dumb gets me so easy. calling me dumb, dummy, or a ditz or trying to get me to giggle makes me just fhfhtjg
confusion - it is not hard to confuse me like . at all. literally just throw some "if you're thinking about not thinking then are you thinking?" or "forget to remember, remember to forget" or make up = down and down = up n i'm all yours.
amnesia - if i'm fuzzy and you tell me to forget about something then there's a good chance of it working. especially when it's slipped in casually, like "oh, nevermind, forget i said anything" and i'll have a moment of like wha-? where my mind decides whether or not to do it. some reassurance, like "that's right, you can just forget" or "don't worry about it" will probably work.
"must _____" - a command preceeded by must (only must, not you must) is extremely compelling to me and hard to resist.
cock - i'm not expanding on this, you know who you are shfhrhfurhf
mantras/repetition - if you give me a mantra that's gonna be stuck in my head for a while. or making me repeat something, or asking questions that have the same single answer
trance recall - if you make me think of a trance i've recently been in, i get all fuzzy and my eyes flutter as if i'm feeling the same thing again.
post-trance fuzziness - in switch fights, if i didn't lose then i'm definitely fuzzy as fuck and a bit fractionated. if you pretend it's over and then catch me by surprise, that might secure you a last ditch victory.
anyways, i will probably update this if i think of more but. yeah i just made resisting 100x harder for myself dhfh
#i am going to. regret this#dhfjfj#no rb#<- pls don't reblog thanks 🙏#i'm just giving a fuck load of ammo for free#tbf a lot of these are Known/Obvious but .#shfhgjgj#mars.txt
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im so nosy you should get freaked out by me but since you have given me this wonderful opportunity...
1, 2, 7, 9, 14, 15, 16, 17, 21, 24, 26, 41, 46, 55, 62, 71, 72, 74, 77
(I'd say more but let's see whether you can survive this much first)
you nosy little cutie patootie <33 i freaked out seeing these many numbers i gotta add a read more
1. The last person you kissed screams they love you, you say…
The last person I kissed on the lips was one of my two childhood friends and if she screamed that she loved me, I'd just scream that i love her too because she'd probably be freaking out about that new keychain i gave her. it's completely platonic, no strings attached. we're just really close that we peck each other on the lips when we're excited.
2. Did you get to sleep in today?
I normally wake up at around 8 because morning lectures start at around 10, so I need time for my morning run and breakfast. Today I woke up at 10, because I didn't have to wake up early. So yes, I got to sleep in.
7. Did you stand on your tippy-toes for your last kiss?
Nope! I'm the tallest of my little friend group (I'm not tall, I just have short friends) so that friend i mentioned in the first answer had to stand on her tippy toes, while i had to bend down a little.
9. Last person to talk on the phone?
My mum. She was a little pissed off because of some family problems (which i try to stay out of) but then she gave me this whole summary or smth about what happened and who did what and then asked for my opinion, which is something i never thought would happen, and then i gave her my opinion and she just sighed and said bye to me. honestly, the problem itself is something about my dad and my aunt having this big fight involving my dad's brother in law who decided to do some stupid shit. i dunno the rest.
14. Are you wearing jeans, shorts, sweatpants, or pajama pants?
Jeans. Those little shits who I consider my closest, childhood friends decided to take me to a movie. So one of them, Amy told me "it's the best movie i've EVER seen" and then the second one, Manjita was like "It's only January and this is the second movie you've seen since 2023 started." and Amy is all "Do you want Hannah to come or what?" and Manjita is like "Oh yeah. Change quickly, we're coming to get you in 2 hours" so now i'm all ready and waiting for them to pick me up.
15. Are you a different person now than you were 5 years ago?
I think so. I mean, when I was 14, I was basically the same version of myself but emo-er. I had my goth phase, which my mother discouraged. I'm not THAT goth now, but half my wardrobe is still black and my friends (read: little shits) never lets me forget that phase of mine.
16. What were you doing at 4 am?
I was actually in the bathroom, at 4:17 in the morning, sniffing the candle that sits near the sink while I was peeing.
17. Would you rather write a paper or give a speech?
I would rather give a speech. But, I'm pretty good at writing a paper too. Writing a paper is easier, but speaking actually makes me feel good, for some reason. Especially if I'm speaking about something I'm really passionate about. I give guest speeches at schools sometimes.
21. Ever told your parents you were going somewhere but when somewhere different?
I am what, people might consider, the 'goody two shoes child' but once when I went out with my friend (yk amy from the previous stories) I told my parents I would be going to Cold Stone (a coffeshop/ice cream place) but then I went to Baskin Robbins instead.
24. What did you get your last bruise from?
I hit my hip on my desk cause my desk just decided to move 5 inches forward on its own.
26. Your phone is ringing. It’s the person you fell hardest for. What do you do?
One less question to answer. I was getting tired with all the typing that I switched to my desktop.
41. Have you had your birthday this year?
My birthday's on August 5. So, no, I have not had my birthday this year.
46. Is it hard to make you laugh?
Never! I can laugh at the stupidest of jokes. A person can just look at me and I can laugh. Like, there's this joke in malayalam and its not even supposed to be funny but i still laugh at it. people say that joke whenever they want to say an unfunny joke. i'll translate it the best I can:
"So there's this old man who's really hungry and he stops by this hair saloon and walks in. He sits on one of the chairs there and asks the barber "what do you have?" and the barber says "hair cut and shaving" and the old guy replies "then i'll have two plates of those"
AND Y'ALL DONT KNOW HOW MUCH I LAUGH AT THIS. ONCE I FELL OFF THE CHAIR LAUGHING. ONCE I ALMOST PUKED. ONCE I CHOKED ON MY CHICKEN. (no but this isnt even supposed to be funny. i just laugh at it cause its funny to me idk)
55. How would your parents react if you got a tattoo?
"WHAT IS THIS ABOMINATION ON YOUR SKIN? DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN GET SKIN CANCER? YOU JUST POKE YOURSELF WITH A NEEDLE MILLION TIMES JUST TO GET THIS PRINTED ON YOUR BODY?"
indian parents smh
62. Would you take $40,000 or a brand new car?
$40,000. I have no need for a car. I would rather buy books or other house essentials.
71. Does it bother you when someone hides things from you?
No. I mean, if someone doesn't want to tell me something, I understand. But if they hide some THING from me, I would pester them until they return what they hid.
72. What’s your favorite color?
I love all pastel colors + black <3
74. Have you ever been looking for something and it was already in your hand?
Another question I don't have to answer cause i've already answered it before.
77. Do you have a person of the opposite sex that you can tell everything to?
Remember Amy and Manjita? There's an addition to that pair of little shits. He is someone I can tell anything to. Literally. These 3 pieces of shit know everything about me. We call eachother pieces of shit. Literally the most affectionate thing ever. He complains about having 3 girl best friends but as he grew older, we all grew more mature. Sometimes i trust him more than the other two because they tend to tease me more if its embarassing.
AND I AM DONE!!! THANKS FOR BEING NOSY I HAD FUN WITH THIS <333
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I tried to google about spring tiredness (in Finnish), why is every article about being burnout and related to work, and not about the phenomenon itself??? Like, I just wanted to know if spring tiredness as a term (well it's one in Finnish at least) means excessive tiredness in general and whether it has something to do with seasons etc. or not, but everything is about "this is why you might be tired at work during spring" - NOT WHAT I WAS ASKING ABOUT???
This is more like a chronic jetlag. I know it takes time for a body and brain to get used to the changes of a sleeping schedule, but I also know my own circadian rhythm is not normal. My sleep phase is delayed, and my day has more than 24 hours in it. I would say 30h is closer to the amount of hours in my inner clock.
But at this point this is getting ridiculous. It feels like my inner clock would be partially broken and only has 12 hours now. It's not the first time this has happened, but it's hella annoying when it feels like my body does not stop producing melatonin at all. It's like having melatonin high 24/7, my whole body is shaky and my muscles feel SO WEAK because of that. And I know I'm not sick or anything like that, because this is how I feel when I have stayed up for 24 hours too, and this time I haven't.
This is now the third day in a row. I have slept at night, I wake up around 8am, I become really tired at 10am, afternoon is the worst, just wanna have a nad at 5pm and then can't wait for it to be late enough so that I can go to sleep because if I go to bed too early, then I will wake up even earlier and will be even sleepier and drowsier the next day.
I woke up after 8am today and I have been awake for 2 hours and I already feel so exhausted. I haven't even eaten any breakfast yet and I still feel like I'm ready to go to bed cos I just want to sleep. I SLEPT FOR OVER 8 HOURS WHY IS MY BRAIN LIKE THIS. Besides, it was MY BODY that woke up. It could have very well kept sleeping for a couple of hours more but no. Just had to wake itself up and be like "oh it's morning :)" and now it's getting sunny outside and I'm getting so much more tired it's insane. I affects my ability to even do things cos my whole body feels so annoying and I can't focus on anything because of the sensory things. Even tho that might be also the key, and it might help me wake up physically if I actually went for a walk or something instead of sitting in front of the pc the whole day doing nothing cos I feel too exhausted.
But yeah, this is my normal. This is what happens with my if I can't follow my circadian rhythm, and some times my brain does this thing especially in the spring where it just randomly clicks and follows the majority's normal circadian rhythm which doesn't fit my body at all. I keep being told you can get used to it and you can learn to get used to waking up in the mornings. No I cannot. I have done that, I have been in schools and had to wake up to those early on for YEARS because my schools started at 8am, I have had a job that started before 8am. My current school starts at 9am. I am able to distract myself from the feels of tiredness with work, especially physical work, but if I keep sitting in one place, I just get so tired. I was always so exhausted at school and even in vocational schools I have had to fight against my body's urge to fall asleep in class. It usually doesn't matter if I have slept enough hours, it's just that I'm forced to wake up earlier than what would be natural for me. It's like if someone with the normal rhythm was waken up at 2am to go to work/school at 4am. I bet they'd get drowsy too eventually.
My own normal circadian rhythm would be to sleep from 2-4am to 10-11am. If I wake up at 11am, I won't get nearly as tired as I get now that my body has kept waking me up between 7-8am after I've gone to sleep between midnight and 2am.
Hopefully it gets better today if I manage to shower after breakfast and then manage to leave the house.
#mcrmadness venting#funny how I always keep venting on Tumblr about me being tired every time this happens#also I've noticed that having 'normal' sleeping schedule always affects negatively my moods#I was trying to maintain one in last autumn because of school etc. and I've never had so much anxiety and intrusive thoughts than then#the second I started staying up at nights again - also my moods got better
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I wish i could be like I'm deep inside of me.
I wish I could be me!
I wish could live like I'd need to, so I can be happy and be like I want to, everytime!
But instead I have to be what I really don't want.
I have to work and to think about everything for everyone and to care bout everyone
But... really really in a mount of years...
I know I am not that person to care of everything everytime.
I'm to weak to little to broken inside..
I can't cater bout myself...
I'd need a caregiver so so so badly rn to take care of me, to handle me, to put me into little space, to tell me it's OK to be weak and little and that I dont have to take care of everything now!
That you will give me which I'm craving for so much!
I need you to give me rules to handle me to calm me down, to take me out of oberthinking and everytime functionatin.
Please grab me, hold me as tight as possible - no matter how I try to escape.
Ignore me and my bratty brain which just want to escape because I'm afraid!
I'm afraid to lose control.
Afraid to be weak and that other notice that I'm not that strong person, everyone thinks I am..
Afraid to lose control. Afraid that everything will get in trouble if I don't funktionate as everytime 24/7.
But hey!
I know I need to get out of that.
I need to get handled and to get put down. Nothing to do. Nothing to care for. Not even myself.
So please take control, put me in little space, show me that I'm in secure, show me that I can trust you, that I can stop to funktionate.
That I'm allowed to be little. To be weak. To be as I am deep inside of me.
That you take care bout me, give me the rules and security and trust I need so badly, so I don't get in panic and dissociate because i think if I just don't funktionate one little second.. all will get worse as it is atm rn.
Please! Take control of me. If it needs to be rough and dominant and be strict against all my hopeless try to escape and hold all the control.. don't give up.
Be dominant.
Be strict.
Be there!
Show me that I can fight all the night long,
and that I could bite and scream and hurt you ao much,
You don't give up on me and hold me as long If am so tired that my inner watcher stop to fight against you and the losing of control.
Then I'm able to be weak. To be that little broken girl who needs not more than u you be her caregiver...
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𐙚ᣟ݂﹒𝐬𝐧𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐲 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 - 𝐥𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐭𝐭﹒
◜♡﹒﹒𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭﹒𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭﹒𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭
levitt needs more love, here's the playlist I listen to while writing fics
Levitt - Bardo
꒰ ୨୧ ꒱ ⸝⸝ You got captured in Bardo, and while Levitt was sifting through your memories he came across a more private one, and ever since then, you've been on his mind 24/7. italics are the memory.
﹒ ⊹ ⤷ cw: smut, fingering, nsfw, slight spoilers, jealousy
It was my second day entering M-cap, the first day I arrived I struggled and fought. They had decided to give me a day to settle in and catch up with myself.
Real sweet.
I got to Bardo through the anomaly, being pushed in by the Children of Gabriel. Luckily the prisoner on Skyring only had a year left. Had I gone peacefully I probably wouldn't have been in this mess. I wasn't even sure why they wanted my memories, I had no clue what 'key' they were talking about.
I was born a nightblood on Sanctum, never really believing in their so-called 'Ascension' and immortal gods, so I ran past the barriers before my naming day. That's when the COG found me, they had chased me all the way to the anomaly, dragging me and shoving me in, they didn't believe me when I said I wasn't a prime. So much for 'saving' humanity.
Levitt, the M-cap guy, says I'm lucky I wasn't split in half when entering Skyring.
Death would've been better than having every memory I've made sifted through.
Not that I cared what he saw, I had nothing to hide.
Once I got comfortable in the white chair Levitt buckled my hands and feet down. It all seemed a bit much really.
"Don't trust me?" I say, my eyes following his figure as he steps into the big empty space, waving his fingers around rapidly.
"Safety measure, you did kill five of our men after all." I didn't need to see him to tell the face he was making. I rolled my eyes, not that he could see anyway.
"I saw that,"
Nevermind.
After a few more minutes of his hands waving in the air, he walked back up to me, 'clicking' on me and raising the lever, "It'll only hurt if you fight it," Levitt's eyes were still averting my gaze.
"Alright, easy question. Imagine you're in a sandy desert with a vast purple sky, and a hand suddenly reaches out to you, who is it?"
I really had to think long and hard on this one, and he said it was easy. After a few minutes of nobody showing up in his lenses, he sighed, suddenly feeling pity for me. Everyone had an answer to that question.
Nobody had ever wanted to get to know me for me, it was always about my blood and naming day.
"That's fine, slideshow it is." He assured, walking back to the large space at the end of my chair.
"Turning my memories into a movie, who would've thought," I let out a tired snicker, the beams from the machine wearing me down.
"Just searching for the key, I won't invade too much," His hands began a left-swiping motion, sifting through important and non important memories.
I watched him closely as his motions came to a halt, and he seemed to freeze. Had he found what he wanted?
In fact, he found more.
Unbeknownst to me, Levitt was watching me naked in his glasses, The system can usually filter stuff like this out, there must've been a malfunction, but he couldn't stop watching.
I was in front of a mirror, legs spread and fully naked. Staring down at myself I glided my hands all over my body, taking hold of my tits and then slowly skimming down to my thighs, caressing them gently.
Even with the bad lighting, you could see how soaked I was. My fingers lightly trailed down, and down, until they reached my soaked cunt. Rubbing it in circles I released the sweetest moan.
Levitt got snapped out of the memory when he heard the door open, revealing Anders, the leader of the disciples. He quickly exited out of the memory and took off the glasses with a bright smile, using his hands to discreetly cover his bulge. Praying that nobody would notice he tried to calmly collect himself.
"Levitt! Found anything useful?" Anders asked, looking towards my exhausted state.
Levitt cleared his throat, not daring to move from where he was, "Not quite yet, my leader, but we're close. I feel I could find it after a good night's rest," He tried to come up with an excuse to get out of there and run to his room to replay my memory over and over again.
Anders stared at him, his eyes squinting while evaluating his entire being.
"Since you did great last prisoner, I'll get someone to swap with you."
Levitt felt his heart drop, he didn't want anyone else to see me vulnerable, to invade my being like he had.
Lucky for Levitt, I began thrashing around at Ander's sentence, using the last of my energy to poke my head with the sharp probes. Disciples immediately rushed to sedate me.
Levitt let go of a breath he didn't even know he was holding.
Anders looked back towards Levitt and nodded, a signal he was relieved of his duties.
"You'll do her M-cap tomorrow, then," Arden said.
Levitt took one last glance towards me, watching as the disciples picked up my body carefully before nodding and taking his leave.
It was the next day, Levitt having spent the whole night replaying the scene over and over in his head. So when he finally saw me again, all he could do was imagine what was under my clothes.
"So, how do those glasses work?" I chirped up, my voice more rested than yesterday.
Levitt strapped my limbs down, examining my attire. Though it was only sweatpants and a clean white shirt, he thought I never looked sexier.
"They go through the memory part of your brain, whatever memory you think of I can see, and if needed, I can forcefully bring them up," He explained as simply as he could.
Though you still had questions a bright idea came to your head. if I couldn't torture him physically, I'd torture him mentally.
Levitt asked his base question to get you started, "Just like last time, you're in a desert with a vast purple sky," He adjusted the bar, "There's a hand reaching out, who is it?"
I immediately thought of my ex, Jace.
Ex was a stretch. He was more like a guy I had a one-night stand with.
"Jace..." Levitt repeated his name, waving his hands around more, "And who is Jace to you?" Part of him asked because of standard protocol, and another asked to find out who the fuck this guy was to me.
I smiled before answering, my voice laced with amusement, "A one-night stand, though I still think about that night," I began thinking of the night with Jace, me on all fours in front of the familiar mirror with Jace behind me.
Levitt felt a pang of anger towards this, he took off the glasses and set them on the small table.
I let out a small laugh.
"You think this is funny?" He asked, walking slowly towards me.
"Why? You jealous?"
Levitt scoffed, "Definitely not,"
"You're not acting like it," I teased.
"You're the one tied to the chair, you should be careful what you say to me," He threatened, now inches away from my tied-down body.
If I said this wasn't turning me on, I'd be lying.
"Jealous he's a better fuck?" I giggled, "What are you gonna do, Levitt?"
My words lit a fire in him, his eyes glazed over with a ball of lust.
"I could make you feel better with just my fingers,"
"What's stopping you?"
I flushed as his fingers roamed my clothed body, only settling when he hit my clothed pussy, rubbing my cunt in circles, eliciting a sultry-soaked moan at the sensation.
"Already moaning like that?" It was his turn to tease.
"Stop teasing,"
He smirked, snaking his hands into the waistband of my sweatpants and panties. The feeling of his fingers finally on my pussy sent a shiver down my body, making me exhale shakily.
His fingers slid up and down my slit a few times, before he entered one finger, making me gasp and the sudden entry. His thumb made quick work with my clit, rubbing antagonizingly slow circles around it.
My moans only grew louder, I had worried people were going to hear but my worry was quickly absolved when he entered a second finger.
His fingers curled upwards, reaching places I couldn't with my own fingers.
I wanted to grab ahold of him. My arms began shaking, trying to free myself. Levitt noticed and quickly unbuckled my hands with his free one. As soon as I did I grabbed ahold of his shirt dragging him down to my level, moaning into his ear from the pleasure. My face was cradled into his neck, and he began kissing and sucking on mine.
"Who's gonna make you cum, baby?" He whispered into my ear, a newfound wave of confidence washing over him.
I couldn't respond, too focused on his fingers pumping in and out of me.
I began whining once he took his fingers out, "Why?" I whined out.
"I want you to say it," He demanded.
"You, you're gonna make me cum," I muttered, grabbing his arm and practically shoving him back inside me, filling the place I needed him most.
I felt his smirk form on my neck, my legs began shaking, my orgasm sneaking up on me. He felt it too as I clenched around him. His thumb began circling my clit faster as I bucked up into his fingers, needing to cum on them.
My grip on his arm tightened, and my moans grew in volume as my high washed over me, making me arch into him.
"Levitt," I moaned out while he finger fucked me through my climax.
He pulled out his fingers which were now coated with my slick and pushed them into my mouth which I graciously sucked on.
"We've got to do that more," I said, earning a laugh from Levitt as he put his gloves and glasses back on.
"Ill find you tonight, now, who is Clarke?"
Clarke? What did they want with Clarke?
◜♡﹒﹒𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭﹒𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭﹒𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭
#♱）levitt ﹒୨୧#the 100#the 100 fanfic#the 100 fanfiction#the 100 x reader#t100#x reader#smut#bellamy blake#Levitt x reader#Levitt the 100#the 100 Levitt#Levitt x reader smut#Levitt the 100 x reader#bardo#planet bardo#the 100 oneshot#sanctum
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