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samthestrangerthingsfan · 2 months

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Out of The Woods

pairing: Eddie Munson x Reader

summary: You're back in Hawkins, and the memories keep on coming.

chapter warnings: mentions of grief, parental loss, motherhood, swearing, brief description of injury (bloody nose)

a/n: chapter one! the ball is officially rolling! I'm so excited for you all to read and get to know these characters. Enjoy!

chapter one: I've Got Sunshine || series masterlist

Muscle memory is a funny thing.

The faded wheel of your ‘88 Ford Escort was being gripped so hard that your knuckles ached. You recalled shortcuts and one-ways with ease, moved through neighborhoods and back roads you hadn’t been down in nearly decade--seven years to be exact. They say home is where your heart is; if that was the case, Hawkins stopped being home a long time ago.

Still, part of you supposed it was normal.

Normal to remember this place so vividly, you could draw its map with your eyes closed. Normal to recall the smells and sounds and the stoplight that hasn’t worked properly since ‘79.

Normal to see the Plant, and Melvald’s—Joyce Byers’ car parked dutifully out front. You remembered everything, despite having tried to forget.

You never thought you'd be back here. After you got your diploma, after all the hell you'd been through--after what happened, you’d gone East. A scholarship earned you a full ride to Yale University.

Then life happened.

Maggie happened.

Once school was no longer an option, you looked for work. Doing job after job, sometimes three at a time to make the rent and keep food on the table for her.

As much as you tried to deny it, everything seemed like a sign from above that this place wasn’t meant to be. Rent went up, you’d been let go from your waitressing job, and then your car started to shit the bed.

Hey, when it rains it pours, am I right?

Then came the call that brought you back here to Hawkins in the first place.

Your Dad died.

Not that you’d ever been particularly close, especially not after your Mom died. You were just 14 at the time and it was hard. That's the age every girl needs her Mom, and without yours, you were left to navigate grief, high school, and becoming a good person all on your own.

Your Father was...an unfortunate side effect of her passing. Consumed by his own grief, you assumed. It turned into him not being able to stomach being around you. The fighting was constant, you could never do anything right in his eyes, and he could never replace your Mom in yours. You’d practically lived everywhere but home your entire high school career, and he was either working at the Plant, or too drunk to care.

That’s why when a lawyer called you up and told you you’d been left his house, you damn near fainted.

"You're sure you have the right person?" You asked, stretching the cord around your finger nervously.

The man repeated your name, date of birth, and 'relationship to the deceased'.

"The home has been paid off since, lemme see here," You heard the flip of a paper, "'Ah, '78. Taxes and such can be put into your name when you begin occupying the residence, but we do need a decision by--"

"I'll take it!" The words flew out of your mouth before your brain could stop you.

This was a sign, the last sign you needed. You took $300 out of your savings to fix your car, packed up everything that mattered, and the two of you started the 12 our road-trip home.

Now you were just two right turns away.

“Hey, Sunshine. You awake back there?” You ask, a smile in your tone.

Maggie stretched, adjusting the blanket on her lap. “I’m up, Mama.” She's smiling, clearly just beginning to wipe the sleep from her eyes. “Where are we?”

The question left your daughter’s mouth just as you turned into the driveway.

Slowly, you find the strength to put the car in park. Deep breaths, right? That's what you tell Mags to do when she's scared. So you take your own advice, and do one big deep breath. “Our new home.”

Maggie’s gasp startled you. “We get a whole house?”

You couldn’t help but laugh, “Yes, baby girl. A whole house, and guess what else?”

She clutched her worn, stuffed teddy bear tightly to her chest and watched you with bated breath.

“You get your own room!”

Your six-year-old squealed with delight, kicking her feet into the seat in front of her. “Mama I’m so excited! Can we go in? Please! Please!” She begged happily.

With shaking hands, you snatched the key from the ignition. “Absolutely.”

Maggie’s feet were taking her faster than the rest of her could follow. As she waited on the stoop of the familiar blue house, you bent down and lifted the 5th rock from the left that lined the path. The key was there, just as it always had been, though now it was aged with rust. You’d hidden it there after being unable to wake your Dad from his drunken stupor on more than one occasion.

The house—your house, was nothing grand, but the look on your daughter's face said otherwise.

“Mama, we get this whole place?”

You tussled her hair as she moved to wander the living room. “Sure do, baby girl.

The two of you had lived in a one bedroom for her entire life. In the six years since you'd had her, she’d never really had a space to call her own, and even though you’d given Maggie all you had, it killed you not to be able to give her what she deserved.

“So, I was thinking…Maggie?”

You walked the familiar hallway to find her in your old bedroom; it looked exactly like it did the day you left.

“Mama! Is this you?” She ran at you, holding an old Polaroid.

With tender hands, you grabbed it from her. “It sure is, Mags.”

Her smile grew as she spoke, “So pretty, Mama. Who’s the peoples with you?”

The grin on your face matched hers, “This right here? This is Robin, she’s the one who sends me all of those funny birthday cards.”

Robin didn’t know you were back, and you’re not exactly sure how to say, “Hey remember me? Your friend who disappeared? Well, I’m back for good and so is my daughter that you’ve never met.”

“Oh, who’s this boy?”

You chuckled, “That’s Steve. He’s a real cheese-ball, but you’d love him. I hope you get to meet him some day"

Maggie's giggles filled the room, and you could feel your cheeks aching from the size of your smile.

She deserves the world. I'm gonna make sure she gets it.

"Mama?"

You sit on the edge of your old desk, "Hm?"

"Who's this guy with the long hair?"

Your heart sank. Collapsing in on itself, and descending into your stomach. "That's uh, his...his name is Eddie."

Saying his name--speaking him into reality made you sick. It made your bones ache and your muscles twist with rage and grief.

Just then, your beautiful daughter, blissfully unaware and innocent, asks a follow up question.

"Is he your friend too, Mama?"

The lump in your throat was hard to swallow, but you do it for her. "He used to be." It's all you can manage.

She holds the photo in her little hand, analyzing the image with all of the brainpower her six year old mind could muster.

"His eyes kinda look like my eyes!"

7 little words, spoken in the sweetest, happiest tone, break you.

"They kinda do, don't they?" You ask, turning around to pretend to organize whatever random clutter you could find.

Maggie places the photo on the desk, and moved on to the next room.

"Wow, Mama! A bathtub! i can take bubble baths!" She echos off the tiles walls, and you crumble. Falling to you knees and silencing your sobs with you palm.

How are you gonna do this? How are you going to live here and avoid him? What will happen in he sees you? See's her?

Maggie is all that matters in this. Hawkins is big enough, right? Surely, you can avoid all of the old haunts you remember Eddie going too. Avoid the Hideout and Lover's Lake, and certainly avoid the Forest Hill's trailer park.

God, that place was your sanctuary for so long--both you and Eddie.

After every party, every fight with your Dad, you'd find comfort at the Munson home. Wayne demanding you stay as long as you wanted, and assuring you that this place is as much yours as it is Eddie's.

The trailer was where you cleaned Eddie up after every run in with Jason and the other douchebags at Hawkins High.

NOVEMBER 15th, 1985

Your fingertips turned crimson as you held the damp towel to Eddie’s nose. He winced the moment it made contact with the newly bruised flesh.

“Fucking…fuck.” Eddie barely managed to get it out.

You recoiled, but he protested. “Nope…no. Just, just get it over with.”

Slowly and as carefully as you could, you dabbed the blood from the already purple skin. “Jesus, Eds. You bruise like a peach.” It’s a small offer of a joke, a way to ease his pain and your guilt.

A hiss as you touch a particularly sensitive part on the bridge of his nose. “Sorry.” You’re the one wincing now.

“Still look tough though, right? Even if I got my ass kicked?” He smiled gently, a self-deprecating pull at the corner of his mouth.

The trailer was cold, it was just turning fall in Hawkins, and Wayne didn’t use the heat unless it was below freezing. A chill ran down your spine as your stomach flipped.

“You got a couple of good licks in, I just wish you didn’t—“

He cuts you off immediately. “It’s never a question, and you know that.”

A shaking sigh passes your lips as you turn your back to him. The warm water running from the sink rinses the blood out of the washcloth, and as swirls of red spin down the drain, you're fighting back tears. “Jason’s a prick who gets his rocks off watching people squirm. He knows I’m repulsed by him. He’s not worth it, Eddie.”

You hated seeing him like this because of you. Jason was being foul and vulgar and his typical jock-with-one-brain-cell self when he’d cornered you in the cafeteria.

Fortunately for you, he didn’t see Eddie walk in behind him.

Jason was describing exactly how he’d 'make you moan'—barf—when Eddie spun him around and decked him.

He was able to get three or four shots on him before the rest of Jason's caveman friends ganged up on Eddie, only stopping when Principal Higgins stepped in.

“He’s not, but you are. I don’t know how many times we gotta go over this, Bug. I’ll never let anyone hurt you--ever. Who cares if I get a little banged up in the process?”

Bug.

The nickname he's called you for the past 4 years. A way he shows you that it really is just you and him against the world.

"I care. You're all I've got Eddie Munson." You say it dramatically, in hope the seriousness of the moment wouldn't make things weird. Eddie's warm hand finds your cheek, the pad of his thumb swept over the soft skin.

"Forever, kid. You and me."

The memory made you shiver.

Get it together. You chastise yourself.

"Hey Mags?" You call, scrubbing the emotion from your face onto your palms.

She bounds down the hall, still in awe at the space. "Yeah, Mom? Did you know my room has a closet? I can fit all my toys inside!"

Your arms reach for her, and she jumps into your embrace instantly. After squeezing her, you pull back to take in the little person you'd made.

God, she really does look so much like him.

She's got your nose, and cheeks for sure. But those eyes? The smile? That's Eddie, through and through.

"You know I love you, right?" You kiss her forehead.

Maggie pushed your cheeks together, smushing you face in her palms. "I know, Mama. 'Nember what you always say?"

"What's that, Mags?" You ask, brushing the hair from her eyes.

"You and me, kid. Forever and ever."

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson angst #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson #OoTW #eddie munson smut #eddie munson fanfic

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meimi-haneoka · 2 months

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Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card Special Chapter: Comments and Analysis

WELCOME BACK, CCS FAAAAAAAAAAAANSSS!!!!!

Oh my god 3 months went already by from that December 1st and chapter 80, didn't they?? Feels like yesterday 🙈But we're finally here, finally ready for the release of the definitive, last SPECIAL CHAPTER of Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card!!!! After this, no more CCS for at least a while!!

Why do you see me so euphoric?? WELL, THERE IS MORE THAN ONE VERY GOOD REASON 😂 But let's not jump the gun and let's introduce this post properly: this time around, I won't be posting pictures to "illustrate" the analysis/commentary, because this special chapter was treated differently from the other ones. It didn't get, in fact, a free release on CLAMP's Youtube channel, in any language, and wasn't even uploaded for digital purchase on Comic Days like all the rest of the chapters. The only way to obtain it was via the April issue of Nakayoshi, either with the physical or digital version. Since it is clear to me their intention to keep this gem of a special chapter away from the internet jungle, and since lately I used only the screenshots from Youtube to illustrate my analysis, this time around I won't be posting anything (aside from the color page, which was released by the official account themselves).

AND! I won't be mixing analysis and summary, because I have already conveniently prepared some screenshots with a detailed summary of the chapter for the people who were curious to know, but didn't get to see the chapter yet or did see it but couldn't read Japanese. I have already posted these screenshots on my Twitter account, and I'll put them here too under the cut (please don't repost them around or in other social media), so you can immediately get a broad view on the content of the chapter (I don't have to point out translation mistakes, haha 😅), and then, afterwards, I'll write my commentary. And there is SO MUCH to say!!

But before starting, we can't break the tradition right at the LAST ROUND of our chapter commentaries, right?? So off we go, with the GIF OF THE MONTH!!

Yes, I think this is the GIF that can represent this chapter the most. 😂

The Color Page

This special chapter is composed of 33 pages, and of course I can't avoid starting my commentary precisely from the color page!!

I admit it, I hoped for a color spread with the four main characters of Clear Card (hence, including Kaito and Akiho too), but since the other two appeared with their own color page just in chapter 79, we'll gladly take this single color page with SyaoSaku too!! ❤️ The JP text reads "We've been together till now, and we will always be! Featuring a long-awaited special chapter!!" Syaosaku look absolutely adorable....and so, so happy!! Looking at us, from a wreath made of cherry blossoms, of course dressed in their image colors pink and green, in a "pair look"...I think their shiny smiles conquered the hearts of the entire fandom (saw many comments about it) and it is certainly a perfect introduction to a chapter that is, indeed, completely made of this happy, leisurely, warm atmosphere. I feel like it tastes even better, after all the anxiety they made us go through, right? I'm pretty sure that was CLAMP's goal all along, giving us this little reward after all the hard situations they've put their characters through. This color page looks like Sakura and Syaoran are saying "goodbye" to us, holding their hands in a lover's hold, but seeing them so cute and happy definitely soothes the sad feeling 🥲 Until we meet again...hopefully!

Letters From Around The World

But it's when the chapter starts that we get our first surprise: the time skip is of one entire year!!! We left our little heroes at the end of the first year of Tomoeda Middle school, ready to go in spring break and then start the second year...here, Sakura says she's in her spring break of the next year, ready to become a 9th grader!!! I almost couldn't believe they actually went that far, I knew from CLAMP's podcast that there was a timeskip, but I expected just some months! Although....I have to say the characters don't look that different, Mokona said she made them a tiny bit older and she kept true to that, because it's barely visible! 🤭 But if you compare them with how they looked at the middle of the story, of course the difference is visible.

I was so happy to see that the chapter started right away with a letter from Akiho: a letter or a videocall was definitely among the type of content I wanted to see in this chapter, because of course I still was quite preoccupied about the difficult journey Akiho and Kaito embarked on, so I wanted to see how they were faring. The amount of letters Sakura accumulated over the span of this year tells me that they moved around quite a lot, and she had always something to share with her "long-distance sister" 🤭 Kero praising Akiho's skills and even feeling some sort of "reverence" for her insane talent to find all the crazy and rare books was so funny and nice!! 😂Sakura is adorable, feeling all proud about the talent of her "sister" 🤭 Loved that they actually mentioned the place where Akiho and Kaito are currently at!! (cause they didn't reveal where they'd go first, in chapter 80, and I guess we'll never know). I appreciated SO SO much that they let us see that Akiho didn't drop, but actually continued to practice her sewing skills like she was doing before everything went down the drain with the Alice in Clockland play: moreover, finding out later that this skill is also helping her greatly with the true ambition of her life made me incredibly satisfied. How cute of her to send outfits for Kero and Suppy, even from far away??

I was quite surprised to find out that Akiho sends all the rare books to Eriol, and then laughed my as* off at Kero saying he's selling them off (the way Kero phrases it in JP makes it look a QUITE shady activity 😂). This shows there's a continued collaboration between the "group" in England and YunaAki, and it's very nice. They're not only "taking" support from Eriol, Akiho also does return the favor, providing Eriol with the books he needs.

And then....got really emotional to know that Kaito wrote a letter to Sakura, back when they left one year ago 🥲 I DID feel like some kind of acknowledgement or apology from Kaito to Sakura was missing from chapter 80 (but honestly, with everything they had to explain, where they could fit that?) and so this little mention completely fixed that sense of "he made a mess and barely managed to apologize to Akiho before leaving". Kaito isn't an ass*ole so of course he would've done something like that, and a letter seems perfect for an introvert boy of few words like him. I imagine the letter wasn't really long either. The little moon on the sealing wax...❤️The fact that Sakura is storing that single letter together with Akiho's letters in a specific box makes me almost cry. She cares for those two so, so much! 😭 Sakura wishes to receive more letters from Kaito and I really hope he will open up to her along the way, because he could benefit ENORMOUSLY from her advices and perspective! Also THANK YOU CLAMP for giving us a little "still" of those two next to eachother from the moment when they were leaving Tomoeda, with the suitcases and all 🥲that last faraway shot of all four of them together in chapter 80 was so great, but I wanted to see them like this too!

The SyaoSaku Date

Aaaaaand then we get to the long awaited, craved, coveted SYAOSAKU DATE!!! 🤣 I can't count how many people I've seen wishing for this....to be honest I was going to be ok with any kind of sweet moment between the two, but gotta admit that a carefree afternoon watching a stage play and then taking refreshment at a café gives this sense of normal, complete fun that was missing a bit for them. They are dressed in a very fancy way (loved that Sakura isn't wearing her usual long one-pieces but something different, with puff shorts! A sign of her growing up?) and even though they're not exactly wearing a "pair look" (too corny, maybe?), they are well matching eachother's outfits. And of course we find out that Tomoyo made Sakura's cute outfit and even the decorations on Syaoran's collar! The fact she was the one asking Syaoran to wear them at the date is kinda funny, like some sort of guidance into looking like a couple, thanks to the matching decorations! Tomoyo really takes care of everything....yes....everything. 🥲 The mention of Sakura's wedding dress of course made me go "OH MY GOD" and made me realize that if Tomoyo is already mentioning that.......we aren't *that* far away from that day (I always imagined SyaoSaku marrying early, since they're soulmates and got together so young!! 😆). Truly an emotional, sweet moment that was reinforced by Tomoyo's tender expression in the flashback. Her resolution to devote herself to learn to design even normal everyday outfits, or date outfits, everything that could accompany her dear Sakura everyday, reminded me that Tomoyo found her very own way to be with Sakura, and she's perfectly content with that. Tomoyo's happiness is seeing Sakura happy, and she will do anything to achieve that. ✨

Syaoran and Kaito's Friendship

And then my blushy blushy Sakura changes topic and suddenly throws me on the floor in a fit of laughter, because seeing Syaoran's confused look while he was trying to make sense of the pictures Kaito sent him on his phone WAS HONESTLY PRICELESS. 😆 My god, how long have I wished to see them like this? Moving their timid steps into a friendship (since their girlfriends are like sisters and Sakura literally saved Kaito's derriere), being their awkward dorky selves...they surprisingly get along so well and Syaoran doesn't seem to hold resentment towards him, which is GREAT for me!! He's learning from Sakura to just let go of hard feelings, when you've found out the person who acted in an oppositive way was just in a very desperate situation and had actually no ill intentions. And that makes me incredibly happy. Kaito needs all the support he can get, to make the right decisions in his life, and I can totally see him finding a particular connection with Syaoran, due to how they're both moon boys, who would give their life for the person they love. I think precisely for this, precisely because Syaoran can understand to a degree Kaito's situation and behavior, he wouldn't feel judged and would feel more free to establish a connection with him. I was k*lled with laughter and endearment when I saw that Syaoran felt confused, but still tried to understand Kaito's peculiar way of communicating with him 😂 And guess what? I think he doesn't realize it, but he's totally starting to get it! 😂The way our wolfie boy snaps that picture IMMEDIATELY as the cat passes by, and how he only framed the ear, really shows how in the end he's speaking "the same language" as Kaito 😂 Seeing Sakura so excitedly think to herself that the two became such good friends made me scream "SAME SAKURA-CHAN, SAME!!!" 😂 All in all, seeing these two having such a relaxed, comfortable date talking about their friends and stuff that happened lately made me completely feel that one year that elapsed, and now they act totally like a couple that's been dating for quite some time. 😊 Ooooh thank you sensei, really. Thank you so much for this scene. 🙏

The Moon Is Really Beautiful, Right?

BUT! The real reason why CLAMP will always have my heart and my gratitude is hidden in the next scene. 😂

Oh my god, the screams I've belted out when I saw them. And when I've read THAT. But let's go in order, let's go in order and not jump the gun! We're in Germany, Akiho and Kaito now seem to be living in an apartment in a nice building! They're still talking in keigo, and still calling eachother "Akiho-san" and "Kaito-san". 😊

Kaito SMILES genuinely at the picture Syaoran sent him!! And answers, to an observant Akiho, that he's having fun!! 😭HIM! The one who couldn't understand what was fun in interacting with others!!! He looks honestly so radiant and happy, a sign that his mental recovery is going strong. And that he's slowly expanding his "trusted people" network. 🥲🙏Also, he looks younger than ever!!! 😂

It made me INCREDIBLY HAPPY to see that Akiho didn't drop the "hobby" she had started in chapter 26 (ages ago!!), remember this scene?

I remember how much I loved to know she had started learning how to do this, because together with my friends, at the time, we all thought this could easily become her aspiration in life......and guess what?? CLAMP confirmed she wants to take on a job revolving around books and book repairing!! This is all canon!! T___T oh my happy tears.... There's a sense of pride in seeing that this journey for Akiho isn't only revolving around finding the cure for Kaito's shortened lifespan (which hurt his body terribly) and restarting his "stopped time", or finding Momo and the Alice in Clockland book, but she's also got the mental resolution to do something for herself, for what she wants to do in life, something that is completely disconnected from Kaito. Again, I cannot reiterate enough how this girl doesn't have an unhealthy codependent relationship with Kaito, and she's completely capable of thinking about her own future, aspirations and wishes. She wants him with her, and she could never live happily without him, but the love of her life isn't the only thing that exists for her. It is incredibly satisfying to see her working hard for her own future, where she'll be able to contribute (especially financially) to their livelihood. I can see Kaito helping her and assisting her with that. The other day I was dreaming away with my friends about Kaito and Akiho managing a "book cafè" together somewhere, how impossibly sweet that would be?

Seeing this volitive, ambitious, strong-willed Akiho once again filled my heart immensely. And I wasn't the only one, apparently.....

Oh god, you have no idea of the SHRIEKS I belted out when I saw Kaito saying "the moon is really beautiful, right?" in full daylight. Like. It is absolutely unmistakable at this point what kind of love he feels for her, and while I always knew, I'm sure the character took his own sweet time and personal introspection to reach that conclusion. If you remember, I've always said it and reiterated it at the end of chapter 80: Kaito won't understand things overnight, it will take a long time. And one year, at that age, is enough of a long time to come to terms with one's feelings and understanding what exactly they mean. They lived all that time together as two "equals", no more butler/boss bullsh*t, so they had even more opportunities to see eachother's true colors. And Kaito couldn't help but fall even more in love with Akiho, to the point that seeing her working so excitedly for her future made him gently overflow with that feeling....and said that sweet quote of Natsume Soseki that we all know, by now, what it means. I think the mere fact that what made his heart explode was seeing her so independent and strong, is a good sign that Kaito's love for her is the healthy and supportive kind, too. He doesn't love her and feels attracted to her soul because she's a weaker, younger, malleable being that he can dominate (as a toxic relationship would portray), but at the contrary, because she's free and strong and wonderful on her own. The more he sees her shining, the more that feeling grows. Throughout this scene, he looks at her and talks to her in such an intensely sweet way, you can totally see he's smitten with her.

The most popular reply to someone who confesses with "the moon is beautiful" is the equivalent of "I could die for you/I can die happy now", in Japanese. And Kaito had been unconsciously replying that way, with his actions, the whole damn time during the serialization of Clear Card. But since he took it way too literally, things were really heading to tragedy. Nobody wanted him to die for real, and yet, subconsciously, that was the only way he had found to give outlet to an enormous amount of feels that he couldn't express (because it wasn't appropriate, and nobody would ever love him, and he only caused her pain, and he had to let go of Akiho anyway at the end of it).

So considering all of THAT, this "I love you very much" he said now (he added とても, "very", like Akiho did ❤️) in this way, makes me think even more "yes, you finally understood what was the best way to convey it!" and therefore, it represents another character development for our moon boy. 🥲

There's debate over whether he had already understood what Akiho had meant, in chapter 48. I stand firmly by my convinction that, even if he was informed of the Japanese folklore tale around it, he quickly dismissed it as "no, she's meaning it literally for the moon", since he couldn't really believe that anyone would ever take interest in him, and was sure he would've always been alone. Otherwise, if he really understood and believed that Akiho was in love with him, I don't think he could've ever said that "I thought you didn't need me to be happy". It doesn't make sense. But everything that happened at the fake moon, and all her angry tears, and all her resolution to find a way to cure him, made him finally see that she really meant it in that way. ❤️So his own acceptance and introspection could finally start, and....it brought to this. ❤️ If you want to know more about the popular phrase "the moon is beautiful, right?", I invite you to check my first Clear Card Trivia post, focused on the literary and musical references portrayed throughout this story!

And LOL, I couldn't help but noticing several things in how this scene played out: first, he immediately "runs away" blabbering about the breakfast being ready, a very similar way to how he "ran away" in chapter 52 when Akiho could see right through him and was trying to express her support and feelings to him. This is definitely an indication (taking into consideration also how he acted when he was little) that the reason why Kaito walked away back then, slamming the door, had a sprinkle of embarrassment embedded in it, too. Yeah. I mean, look at the face he's making here, just before he notices, puzzled, that his hand is shaking:

He's smiling so tenderly, among the pain he's feeling because of his poor health. He even laughs! He's happy he heard that! But he just couldn't stay hearing any longer, back then. Now, in this scene of the special chapter, he literally throws "the bomb" and runs away without hearing her answer or reaction 😂😂😂this is definitely embarrassment, and I'd like to think there's even a hint of teasing streak that I've always seen between the lines in his personality. It came out particularly with Syaoran and Momo, but Akiho isn't excluded from this dynamic! 😂

And excuse me, but Akiho's reaction literally made me roll on the floor laughing!! 😂The poor girl is probably so used to live abroad, and Japanese folklore isn't probably coming up immediately in her mind anymore, despite it's a phrase SHE used HERSELF back then! 😂Or maybe it's because she didn't really expect it from him, and so she took a moment to connect the dots. Either way, it was extremely funny! And I can't absolutely avoid pointing out how our girl isn't blushing like mad anymore, but just slightly.... I mean. It must have been quite clear to her too, by now, that her feelings were in some kind "reciprocated", be it for what Sakura said back at the fake moon, his decision to go back to her, and his decision to reveal his true name, hence giving her his most vulnerable part of himself... This isn't a shock for her, and she probably waited patiently, patiently, for him to finally say something like this. So maybe, more than embarrassed, she's surprised that the day finally came! 🥲 Goodness. This really puts all my worries to rest, Akiho will truly be happy. And it makes total sense that CLAMP made him say this now, and not at the end of chapter 80. As I said, more time was needed. This entire scene leaves me with a sweet, soft, comfortable feeling, and it's totally how I've always imagined their relationship to be. Also....no more of that "he loves her as a daughter/sister" crap, not canon-wise at least. 😊

One last thing I have to point out about this scene, which curiously reconnects everything together, is that recently CLAMP have announced the themes to which their upcoming exhibition will revolve around: among them, there's LOVE (of course!), and among the decorations surrounding the featured character on the key visual (Sakura, for now, but there's at least another one coming!) there are a couple of birds too. Birds are, in this sense, a symbol of love in CLAMP's language. I couldn't really help but noticing all the birds flying outside the window next to Akiho, the moment Kaito says that "the moon is really beautiful, right?". Basically, CLAMP were trying to scream it all over the place, however they could. 😂

"Momo-san?!"

It was so nice to see Yukito and Kero-chan gossiping about Touya right in his face, with the complete intention to tease him 😂in that sense, Yukito really seems like a sweet and harmless character, but don't be fooled! His teasing power is over 9000!! 😂Touya's killing glare made me crack up! He's so done for, now that both Kero and Yukito can tease him in the open! 😂😂😂

But please, please, let me scream about MOMO!!! Oh my god I would've never accepted a special chapter that didn't feature her!! Aaaaahhh I'm so glad to see that she's fine 🥲 The conversation between her and Sakura made clear to me that she isn't that free to move how I imagined her to be. Certainly, she decides where to go and who the book stays with (and when to leave), but the impartiality imposed on her role doesn't allow her to act freely like she wants, unless she pays a price. And she decided to pay a price, not to see Akiho and Kaito, but to go and thank Sakura herself first. Because, as her "those kids" suggests, she of course still feels some kind of maternal instinct towards them, and as any mother would do, she wants to thank Sakura from the bottom of her heart for having helped and saved those two. Even her body language (the position of her hands) portrays that. And excuse me, but I A B S O L U T E L Y loved how CLAMP clarified once and for all, addressing directly the complaints of their own fandom, that Sakura wasn't forcingly dragged into a matter that wasn't related to her. Everything she did, she decided to do it because she felt it touched her personally. From the moment she became Akiho's friend and came to care for her, everything that happened and everything that she was involved with was related to her too. This wasn't "somebody else's business" anymore. Because Akiho is one of her most beloved friends, no matter how "fast" that happened. Some relationships bloom almost immediately, because the connection is just that strong. And so, this turned into just another expression of "your happiness is my happiness", with Sakura acting according to what her heart suggested. As Kaito is Akiho's most beloved person, Sakura couldn't help but care for him too, because doing so would've made her friend happy, in a wonderful "circulation of love".

Special mention for the scene with pregnant Lilie, oh my god I didn't really expect this either. How long ago I wrote that Tumblr post about cosmos flowers and the origin of Akiho's name? A couple of weeks ago? It's like CLAMP answered my curiosity, with this scene. I still keep my interpretation in my heart, but I also love the logic "it is a flower that keeps the same name in many countries". Of course. "Wherever you'll go, you'll always be your unique self". (And now I want to cry, mama's heart is so big😭) The way Lilie keeps her hands over her womb made me tear up. The ring isn't there anymore, a sign that she probably already gave it to Momo (understandably, since once Akiho would be born, she wouldn't really have much time left). The baby bump isn't that noticeable, probably because she's at the beginning of her pregnancy. Who knows if she kept seeing little Kaito while she was pregnant. 🥲Who knows if in the scene where she's telling him about how wonderful it is to have something you love, especially a person, she was already pregnant with Akiho. 🥲

Momo and Sakura's final words made me understand that Momo cannot go back to Akiho and Kaito till the circumstances and the moment is right. Whether it depends on Akiho's wish, or the right cosmic arrangement, it's surely not in the short term. Especially considering the limited scope of Momo's agency. It cannot come from Momo (unless she pays a huge price), it needs to come from them, strongly enough. I also want to think that, again as an acquired mother figure, Momo wants those two to find their own way, identity and figure out their relationship on their own, without her interference. I'm sure she's keeping an eye on them from faraway, though. 🥲Even though this still feels bittersweet because I wanted to see them reuniting in canon so badly, it gave me lots of hope for the future. Momo is just waiting for the right moment, and she'll be ready to embrace them when the time is right. Maybe, who knows, we'll see that reunion in another series or in a special publication in the future?

The End

And then....the final scene 🥲NOW it is finally clear what Ohkawa meant in that one Twitter Space, when she mentioned that there was a reason why they never featured Sakura's birthday!!! THEY NEEDED TO KEEP THE EXCLUSIVITY FOR THIS!! 😂 I'm so glad they did, really...it's so sweet to see her reaching 14 years old (the "standard age" of many shoujo heroines! 😂) and seeing Syaoran giving her a present, with that strikingly sweet smile full of love...but most importantly....the breathtaking final double spread 🥲🥲🥲🥲 The way she pulls his hand close to her chest, to her heart, while saying that Syaoran will be forever and ever her most important and special person.....really, this chapter is meant to k*ll us all with feels!🥲and I love how CLAMP keep finding ways to portray their physical displays of affection without resorting to the classic, most wanted (but also probably considered not appropriate yet) "kiss". The very final page is a direct parallel of a page from chapter one, where Sakura was going to school alone and looked back down the street to admire the cherry blossoms in full bloom.

Now, she's not alone anymore, but actually hugging the love of her life on her special day! Really, what a wonderful and fulfilling way to give the final touch to this amazing story! 🥲 Her very last line also contributed to this. Sakura leaves us again, 24 years after the first ending, with words of positivity for the future, and love for her important people. This wraps everything up nicely, but it still keeps things quite "open-ended", hopefully in the eventuality to return to this wonderful series in the future. Sakura is growing up, as CLAMP wished, and it might be possible to see her dealing with more "grown-up" situations, magic and non-magic wise. But one thing is for sure, her relationship with her loved ones will always take top priority. ❤️

Well well well, we came to the end of this looooooong commentary for this special chapter too. I can't help but thank once again all of you who followed my posts all these years, and commented with your POVs on the story.

As I've said multiple times, Cardcaptor Sakura gave me so much ever since I was a kid, and this sequel was no exception. This special chapter, in particular, overflowed with things I wanted to see, and I'm sure I'm not the only one thinking so. I once again want to congratulate CLAMP for wrapping everything up nicely, and thank them from the bottom of my heart for these almost 8 years of emotional journey. 🙏

See you around with my other tumblr posts, and let's look forward to the release of volume 16 on April 1st, and hopefully, news about the anime sequel of Clear Card!!

#cardcaptor sakura #card captor sakura #clear card arc #ccsakura #ccs spoilers #sakura kinomoto #syaoran li #akiho shinomoto #yuna d. kaito #syaosaku #yunaaki #special chapter #translation differences #how come this post is so freaking long even without translation differences?#well dammit I had A LOT TO SAY #and even some itches to scratch #aaaah the satisfaction #😊so happy

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empressofthewind · 2 months

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Full List of Near's Toys & Activities:

Chapters 59 & 61: Puts together a blank puzzle with "L" in the corner

Chapter 61: Builds a tower of regular playing cards

Chapter 62: Builds a tower of matchsticks

Chapters 63 & 64: Tries (and fails) to throw darts at a dart board

Chapter 66: Builds what looks like an entire city of dice, and then proceeds to wreak havoc on the city when his team members die

Chapter 67: Surrounds himself with multiple "plastic models" (as described in HTR13) - includes robots and several planes/air vehicles, as well as crafting supplies which he uses to glue the robot back together after purposefully breaking it

Chapter 71: Handcrafts a dart that looks like an evil narwhal, fails to throw it at the board and breaks one of his robots with it instead

Chapter 75: Sits in the centre of a Lego structure, surrounded by many other toys including his robots. Breaks one of the Lego walls using a robot

Chapter 76: Sits in the centre of a circular train track. Later when Mello shows up, he is playing with a robot and a plastic gun

Chapter 77: Plays with a few plastic robots

Chapter 78: Surrounds himself with a ring of tarot cards

Chapter 79: Plays with a "secret base set" (once again, HTR13 wording) which looks like a large diorama with palm trees, a road and some nondescript building in the background. At the end of this chapter, he can be seen breaking a robot

Chapter 80: Attempts to smuggle six robots into his new base; only manages to smuggle five (interestingly only five are mentioned on his toy list in HTR13, so I'm guessing this is actually just a continuity error)

Chapter 81: Plays with a robot, then builds a small structure using dice

Chapter 82: Reveals that the dice in the structure are actually boxes containing even more dice and empties them out onto the desk. Then moves on to his robots

Chapter 83: Plays with a toy plane

Chapter 85: Uses finger puppets to represent his thought process

Chapter 86: Plays with two remote-controlled rubber ducks in an inflatable pool

Chapter 88: Now has a total of 28 rubber ducks. Stacks several of them on top of each other, then fills the pool with them. 10 are left on the floor

Chapter 89: Builds a radio tower out of paper

Chapters 90-94: Once again uses models to represent his thought process; this time he has Lego figurines, a model of the NHN building, a plastic gun and a tiny notebook. He also decorates his Christmas tree with them in Chapter 92

Chapter 94: The finger puppets return in the second half of the chapter

Chapter 95: Plays with a marble roller coaster

Chapter 96: Works on Misa Amane's finger puppet

Chapter 97: Has kagami mochi on the floor with several plastic toys surrounding it; he can be seen playing with one of them

Chapter 98: Uses his puppets while explaining his rules for the warehouse confrontation, and also brings out the miniature notebook from chapter 90

Chapters 100-107: Uses his puppets again when necessary, and also wears a mask of L which he apparently made himself

Chapter 108: Plays with a robot and eats chocolate while surrounded by an array of plastic figurines

#made this as a guide for myself but someone else might find it useful :-)#nate river #near #near's toy list #deep dives

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electronicwitchcollection · 4 months

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~*Accidental mate; chapter 9*~

Here it is! I’m so sorry for the wait 😂 It was one thing after another, but I digress! Thank you to everyone, (Anonymous readers too!) for your kind support and eagerness for this to continue. Special thanks to @clone-bar-79s for motivating me to finish this chapter!

"The good news is, you've got time. His next rutting season isn't for another six months, you've got time to come to terms with it, make a decision that's best for you" the joyful Cadence had returned to Urahara's voice, at this point you were positive it was as much of a disguise of his true thoughts and feelings as his hat and fan were. He was kindly trying to put you at ease, not letting his true concern shine through. More than you felt you deserved in this moment.

Letting your hands drop, shoulders squaring in mock determination, you raise your face to meet his eye. Fake it til you make it. "Thank you for telling me,". You raise to your feet, ready to accept your fate. Taking in a deep, soothing breath to steady your nerves. You needed to find Grimmjow. "I'll consider my options thoroughly"

Urahara jumped to his own feet, hands presented to halt your departure, apologetic look on his angular face. Hat still secure in his hand, he looked so much younger with his mop of blond hair on show"Actually, there's more you need to know"

More? You sat down heavily in your chair. You didn't think you could handle any more right now, you were still digesting the information you had just been fed, mind dizzyingly running though the conversation in an endless loop of uncertainty and guilt. You didn't know why you felt guilty, but it was there, heavily sitting in your stomach.

"If you were to decide to pursue a relationship with Grimmjow, there are some other factors you need to be aware of" Urahara disclosed as he rejoined you sitting down. You felt a little overwhelmed with the amount of information you had already been given, mentally exhausted with the drastic change in your life you were presented with. Though it did pique your interest, what else were you about to discover about the complicated Espada? "I'm sorry, I know it's a lot to take in"

Your face must have betrayed how you were feeling, given the sympathetic look Urahara looked at you with. You shook your head dismissively, it wasn't through any fault of his own. Your own gluttonous actions had lead to this fiasco. Yourself and Grimmjow. Your throat tightened slightly at the thought of you and Grimmjow together in the same sentence, a couple.

Couple of idiots, you snarkily reminded yourself. Might as well get everything out in the open now, to save you from any more unwanted surprises later down the line. "Now that he has mated, part of Grimmjow's instincts will have him wanting to scent mark you. Which could be problematic "

"problematic how?" You never realised how ignorant you were up to this point about Grimmjow's hollow side. You never realised it went as deep and animalistic as scent marking. Something you associated with mammals claiming their territory, hopefully he used another method than what you were aware of. You were pretty open minded, but you drew the line at Grimmjow pissing around your home. Or worse.

"While for the bonded pair, it can be considered rather intimate, for other hollows it's perceived as a warning... or a challenge" For the first time since you entered the room, you notice Captain Muguruma turn to face you, seemingly interested in this part of the conversation. Arms crossed over his broad chest, he leaned back to the same window ledge Captain Hirako was using to prop himself up. "I'm sure you're well aware of the Captains and Lieutenants who have a hollow of their own residing within"

You nod, eyes flicking to two of the captains who were visoreds , struggling to find the energy to participate verbally to the conversation yet. Shinji sent you a lazy wave, confirming what you already knew. You had seen first hand the blackening of their eyes, the inhuman warble hissing from the buff captains lips. Felt the chill run up your spine when his eyes locked onto you with a predatory gaze.

"The pheromones Grimmjow left on you can be smelt by the visored." Urahara explained, placing his hat back atop his head. Everything seemed to be falling into place, everything you had been confused about the past few days, running through your brain without answer finally being explained. Ichigo had told you that you smelt different, Grimmjow attacking him shortly after halted any further explanation. Subconsciously you breathed in deeper, trying to detect any foul smell coming from you.

Not as subtle as you had intended however, by the chuckle Urahara gave "You won't be able to smell it, neither can we" he indicated to himself and Kyoraku. That was somewhat of a relief, unimportant in the grand scheme of things, but you didn't relish in the idea of smelling.

"Only hollows will be able to detect it, a survival instinct. It activates their instincts of fight or flight. The weaker ones, the beta's, will see it as a warning to avoid you for fear of getting into a fight with your alpha. For the stronger Alphas, they'll view it as a challenge"

"A challenge for what?" You almost didn't dare ask, not sure you wanted to hear the answer.

"To take you from him" Shinji interjected, tilting up his head to show off his smug grin. "To prove their strength, beat someone as strong as Grimmjow, steal his mate, become the most dominant"

Your mouth fell open, gobsmacked at the new information. This was why they were here? To what? Let you know before hand that they may try and take you from Grimmjow? You felt a little nauseated at the thought. You didn't want that. Didn't want to be seen as the objectified prize of some barbaric testosterone fulled game. Offended at the thought of being passed around by whom ever claimed victory. You wouldn't accept it. You didn't want Shinji or Kensei, you wanted...

"Don't worry, this isn't us warning ya ta lock ya doors or we'll drag ya off to our caves" Shinji's lips pulled at the corners,slowly dragging his eyes over your figure appreciatively. You fought the urge to cover yourself up from his lecherous gaze. Damn pervert. He was only joking, surely. Distasteful and outrageously unprofessional given the circumstances and his status, but he had better be only joking. "Though.." he gave you a scandalous wink when he finally made it to your eyes " I could be tempted"

"Don't be a prick, Shinji" Kensei snarled at his colleague, seemingly reaching the end of his patience with all his teasing. Shinji held his hands up in surrender before placing them in his pockets and leaning back against the window, sulkily rolling his eyes at his fun being stopped "was only teasin' "

Kensei rolled his eyes before focusing them on you. You shifted in your seat uncomfortably. While you didn't believe the head captain would allow any harm to befall you in his office, the large Captain scared you quite a bit. "Don't look at me with such a scared look on your face" he barked out the order, eye brows furrowed tightly. "We've got our hollows under control"

"Most of the visored have beta hollows," Urahara took over the explanation again, saving you from having to change your facial expression for the short tempered Captain "Shinji and Kensei are the only two in soul society with Alphas. There shouldn't be a problem with Captain Otoribashi or lieutenant Kuna. "

"Mines female, a lot easier to deal with then Kensei's." Shinji interjected, seemingly bored with the conversation now that he was denied his fun. You couldn't help but find the conversation fascinating. While you had heard the stories of Aizen's inhumane experimentation, Urahara's intervention and saving the hollowfied Captains and lieutenants, it was interesting in the way they described it. Like the hollow entity trapped within their own psyche, fighting to break out of their prison. "His is particularly aggressive.."

"An asshole is what he is," Kensei grumbled, cutting Shinji off from his deduction of the situation. Fixing you in his vision once more, he spoke with undeniable conviction "We have them under control, there won't be any problems now that we know what happened"

"It was just a bit of a shock the other day". Shinji added, pulling attention back onto himself. You felt like you were getting whiplash, all this back and forth had the muscles in your neck stiffening "Never expected ta smell Grimmjow on ya like that, nor the reaction our hollows had " By the looks on Urahara and Kyoraku's faces, they've already been informed about your encounter with the Captains a few days prior. It eased your worry somewhat, the conviction Kensei had when he said he had his hollow under control. You released a shuddering breath, soothing the burning your lungs with the length you held it.

"You're perfectly safe here, YN. I have no doubt that the captains can control their hollows instincts" Kyoraku spoke up, further soothing your worry. You trusted his judgment,he had proved his insightful deductions of situations to correct nearly one hundred percent of the time in your experience. He was a good judge of character. If he trusted the visored, then you could too. "The real concern lies with Ichigo Kurosaki"

"Ichigo?" You repeat surprised, you hadn't expected Grimmjow's sworn enemy to be brought into the conversation. You had just seen him. There was no reaction like what the captains exhibited. He treated you the same way he always had, friendly, relaxed. Though he did mention being able to smell you before Grimmjow attempted to knock his head clean off his shoulders

"Ichigo's hollow is still juvenile." Urahara picked up the conversation again, slipping easily back into rattling off the facts you needed to know "Though he is combative and defiant, he's not yet matured enough to want to seek out a mate, more interest in fighting for power over Ichigo. Given the history between Grimmjow and Ichigo, that could change once his hollow reaches maturity"

They were worried about it, you realised upon seeing the somber looks they all watched you with, waiting for your reaction. They were concerned not only for you, but soul society itself. There was no denying how incredibly powerful Ichigo was. No one had ever come close to reaching the level he had. The utter destruction he could cause if his hollow managed to break free and take over. The damage to soul society itself, the loss of life, the possibilities were staggering.

Grimmjow wouldn't refrain from doing something he wanted to do just because it may effect Ichigo. In fact you were pretty certain it would only make him want to do it more. Grimmjow's confidence in himself and his strength was bordering psychotic, he wouldn't care if Ichigo did challenge him. In fact, you believe he would welcome it whole heartedly, encourage it even. Idiot. He would fit in perfectly with the meat heads in the eleventh. He didn't care about the ramifications, so long as he got to thrive in the fight.

The subject would have to be brought up to both Ichigo and Grimmjow. You had the sinking feeling in your stomach, that you would have to be the one to convince Grimmjow to ignore his instincts and not mark you. If you decided to go through with it and be his mate. It would solve this problem if you simply refused to commit yourself to him, even though that decision would create problems itself. Your head was hurting, stress pinching the sides of your temples. It was too much, to many decisions falling on your shoulders.

"If Grimmjow can refrain from scent marking you,or we set up a plan for when he does, there should be little concern for ramifications". Urahara added to your silence. He could see your mind racing, thinking over all the possibilities of what you had just learned. He waited patiently for you to sift through your thoughts, silently watching as your unfocused eyes sharpened, to look him in the eye.

You had made a decision

"I need to see him

———

You walked in semi comfortable silence next to the eccentric exile, the clacking of his wooden foot ware against the stone floor, a steady beat to accompany his tuneful whistling. You appreciated the fact he didn't try to engage you in mindless chit chat as you followed him to his workspace in the outskirts of the twelfth division, Where Grimmjow was apparently staying until he was placed and housed permanently in a division. You just didn't have the capacity right now to pretend to be interested in anything Urahara could have to say to fill the silence between you.

Your mind was thick with all the information you had been given this morning. You struggled to sort through it, every question you had only leading to more questions, every solution met with an abundance of what if's and maybes. Ifs ands and buts attaching themselves to the end of every train of thought you rode on. You sigh mentally.

Remembering a time before Grimmjow forced his way into your life, with his aggressive nature and brash behaviour. When the only decisions you had to make were unimportant, mundane. Effecting you and only you. You couldn't believe how far away that seemed now. You hadn't even had the time to consider your own feelings yet. Grimmjow having invaded your every thought. Did you even like him? Well, no. Not really. His anger and snide comments annoyed you beyond belief. He was rude and infuriating, temperamental at best.

There was something there though, some pull you couldn't give name too. A niggling need in the pit of your stomach, Urging you figure out the puzzle that was Grimmjow. Wanting you to succumb to his unbending will, burn in his fiery passion. You were attracted to him, how could you not be? Handsome, strong. All the traits of a protector, a provider, that a millennia of evolution had you biologically trained to desire. There was something there. As much as you may want to deny it or ignore it, push it down and suffocate it until it no longer burns within you. It was there

A large hand settled on your shoulder, making you jump as it snapped you from your thoughts. Urahara didn't even try to hide the amusement on his face from your startled appearance. He nodded in front of you, getting you to see for the first time where you were.

"We're here" you sucked in a deep, soothing breath, releasing it slowly to rid yourself of the nerves threatening to shake you to your core. The hand on your shoulder squeezed comfortingly, departing with a tap "You'll be okay kid"

Urahara pushed on, trusting you to follow. Opening the door with more vigour than necessary, he walked into the darkend space. "Honey I'm home!" You slipped in behind him silently, inquisitive eyes taking in the space. It was a large room, dimmed from the afternoon sun, with a desk littered with paper. Organised chaos immediately sprung to mind. Empty bottles of alcohol messily strewn on the floor, filling the space with the sharp smell of their remains.

Opposite you was a worn couch, currently moulded around the source of the rumbling growl you could feel reverberating through your chest. Grimmjow laid facing into the couch, back turned on his unwanted guest "Fuck off" he grunted, curling in on himself, seemingly trying to disappear into the padding he was laying on. Arm thrown over his head, attempting to block out the punishing light streaming in from the open door, as well as the walking headache, Urahara.

Grimmjow Suppressed a groan, not ready to be rudely woken from his slumber. His throat was dry, scratching painfully around every forceful swallow he made in attempt to moisten the passage. His head thumped with every beat of his heart, every jolt a mercilessly cruel reminder of his rash decision making the night before. He didn't know what that freak kept in those bottles, but it sure as shit wasn't decent alcohol. Still he clung to the offered numbness it provided, willing himself to fall back into the black abyss.

"Come now ,Grimmjow," your eyes flicked to Urahara's back as he delved deeper into the room, approaching the temperamental beast with little regard to his own safety. Daringly poking Grimmjow in the back with the end of his cane, getting another growl in response "Remember your manners, we have a guest"

"You can shove your manners up your..". Guest? Grimmjow felt his skin tingle, senses sharpening instantly. He inhaled deeply, tasting the air in the back of his throat. Mixing gently with the starchy alcohol and the dust imbedded in the couch was something sweet, rich, like thick honey clinging to the walls of the hive of the bees that created it. Fresh and salty, like the wind dancing over the oceans surface. You. You who he had ran away from, you with your bewitching eyes, your ensnaring lips. Ignoring the protesting scream of his head, Grimmjow pushed himself away from his forgiving nest, jumping to his feet, determined to not allow the discomfort to flash over his face

"The fuck do you want?" He snarled at you, watching as your face betrayed your silly human emotions. Uncertainty, confusion, before settling on one he knew all too well, annoyance. He tried to glance at you sparingly, tried to keep himself from dissecting each and every aspect of your being, searching for the reassurance of your health. Your smell was tainted. Grimmjow could smell the musk of others lingering on your skin. He picked up the distinct notes of Urahara lingering on your clothes.

Another deep inhale and he picked up the signature of three others. The drunk, and the two who had acknowledged his claim on you. The discovery made his teeth clack together as his jaw tightened. Why the fuck were they all around his mate. Why were you looking at him, with pity.. and something else. Not quite fear.. but something he didn't recognise.

Eyes snapping to Urahara, Grimmjow snarled as he crossed the distance, chest rumbling with rising anger "What the fuck did you do!"

"Grimmjow.." Urahara's hand shot out to stop you from getting closer, halting your advance to calm him. Grimmjow roughly grabbed the lapels of his top, dragging him closer to the passed off Espada as he spit out the words "Why is she here!"

Certain you would heed his advice and stay out of range, Kisuke lowered his arms to placate the emotional man on a subconscious level. "The head captain and I thought it best to inform YN of the situation between you." Grimmjows eyes widened, fingers slacking on the bunched up material. "We explained about the bonding, and what it means for ..hurmft!"

The speed at which Grimmjow pulled back his fist and snapped it towards Urahara's face was impressive, if not for the unmanly exclamation of pain cutting off Urahara's explanation, you might've missed it all together. Almost instinctively you protested, scolding him with the disappointed use of his name, falling on deaf ears as Grimmjow pushed Urahara from his grip and into the desk behind him

"You had no fucking right" Grimmjow roared, fists shaking at his side with the surge of adrenaline coursing through his veins. Fixing Urahara with a dark glare, he kicked violently at one of the many bottles left forgotten on the floor, ignoring it as it smashed into the wall with excessive force. Chest swelling with frustration, Grimmjow pushed past Urahara, heading to the open door, not even sparing you a glance. "Fucking stay out of my business old man"

"Grimmjow" you reached for him, his arm slipping just out of your reach as he jerked it away, stomping through the open door. Ignoring your soft call, ignoring the indignant cry of "Old man?!" Muffled by the hand covering his bloody nose. Grimmjow needed to get out, If he stayed he was going to kill him.

You watch him leave, sighing as he slipped from your vision. Your head fell into your hands, momentarily blocking out the room and the shit show that just transpired. How you and Grimmjow were going to come to any sort of middle ground when he insisted on running away way beyond you. You let your hands slip from your face, disappointed with how that turned out.

"that didn't quite go how I expected" you mumble, disheartened by Grimmjow's disappearing act. It cut you deeper than you thought it would've, now that you knew about the bond.. it hurt to see him distance himself from you again. To reject you.

"Really?" Urahara asked surprised, gently running his fingers down his sore nose to ensure it wasn't broken " It went exactly as I had thought"

———

Grimmjow was seething. Rage coursed through his veins like lava, obliterating any coherent thought that wasn't tinged in anger.. Why the fuck were these damn Shinigami interfering with his business, with his mate! They had no right, no fucking right to tell you. They weren't hollows, they didn't have bonds, you weren't theirs! You were his, his mate, his responsibility. He was going to tell you. The right way, not fill your head with biased bullshit from shinigami who didn't know the first thing about him or his bond.

"Grimmjow!" He rolled his eyes at your call, not stopping in his desire to put as much space between you and that fool as he could. He needed a fight. A brutal, dirty battle, where he could let go, succumb to his unconscious mind, move and act without thinking, just reacting. "Grimmjow,"

Damn woman didn't know when to fucking drop it. Whirling round he scowled at her, arms folded defensively over his chest. Her cheeks were flushed.. delicate pink, likely brought on by the jog she fell into to close the distance between them. He could feel her warmth seep off her, radiating the space around her like the sun. It was pure and gentle, not brash and damaging like him. She stopped an arms length away, watching him cautiously. It pissed him off.

They each stood in silence, waiting for the other to break the awkward tension between them. Giving the other the opportunity to dictate the way in which this conversation would go, knowing that one misspoken word could result in vicious words being spat, one misjudged movement could have them colliding together in a rush of frenzied passion..

"What!" He snapped, having enough of her inquisitive stare. She had annoyed him endlessly with her fucking bitching and complaining, now she suddenly had nothing to say? He watched as your frown softened, eyes darting to the ground between them

"They were right in telling me Grimmjow. I needed to know.." you spoke softly, concentrating on how best to gently speak your mind. You couldn't let him bury his head in the sand and ignore it any longer. Something needed to be decided between you now, before his next rutting season came along. Grimmjow's eyes flashed with your words, not yet ready to let go of his annoyance of his privacy being talked about by a bunch of damn shinigami.

" I was going to fucking tell you! I tried!" Grimmjow snapped defensively, stalking closer to maximise the height difference between you. Intimidation was a weapon Grimmjow had used countless times, successfully, against bigger and stronger adversaries than the small woman basked in his shadow. So why was it that this woman was meeting his eye defiantly, not a shimmer or trepidation or fear showing on her face

"You've got to stop pushing me away, Grimmjow. I know now, so stop running away and.." Grimmjows fingers wrapped around your throat and stealing your breath. Pressure squeezing threateningly against the side of your neck, fingers twitching in warning. His hand trembled, you could feel the vibration against your delicate skin as his eyes burned into your own, darkly muttering inches from your face, hot breath dancing over your lips

"I don't run away from nothing" you instinctively took hold of his wrist, yet you didn't try to push him away. You could feel your blood pumping through your jugular vein, held prisoner against his dominating hold. It was a show, a display of strength of power that he so desperately needed to hold onto so not to submit to his own confusing contradictory impulses. You shivered at his dark tone, as black and as cold as the darkest of nights. You squeeze his wrist tighter, pouring out the light of understanding, the warmth of acceptance

"I know your scared" you were too. Scared of these confusing, consuming feelings you had never wanted. Scared of change, everything comfortable and safe being thrown into disarray . Scared you wouldn't be able to make it work, that you wouldn't be enough. Terrified that it would. "I am too.. Im your....mate." As quiet as it was, you heard the sharp intake of breath. You watched how his eyes widened, furious rage dulling behind his eyes. He's fingers loosening their grip on your neck by a fraction, startled by your acknowledgement, acceptance"we need to come together Grimmjow, work through this together, or you're going to suffer alone. I can't sit back and watch that happen"

"you don't owe me shit, I don't want your fucking pity" Grimmjow pushed you away physically and fugitively, creating distance from the hope you cruelly dangled in front of his nose. A life line, in the crushing reality he unknowingly made for himself. You were speaking from guilt, from some twisted sense of duty. He wouldn't let anyone pity him. You reached for his arm, stopping him from turning his back on you. You couldn't let him run away again, couldn't let him think you didn't care

"It's not pity." You had to get him to understand. He was stubborn and pigheaded, but you could get through to him. You had to. "It's not guilt. Grimmjow, talk to me"

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!" Grimmjow screamed in your face, hoping to scare you off. Better you run now, than to pull him deeper into your Facade. Give him a sense of stability, lull him into a fabricated delusion of belonging before you pull it from under him and watch him down. You didn't back down, didn't even flinch at the display of crazed hostility.

"Nothing. I don't want anything from you but to try. Stop shutting me out" Grimmjow ripped his arm from you, pacing back and forth as he run his fingers through his hair as you spoke. Like a caged animal backed into a corner, comforting himself with what little freedom he had left. Clawing to it possessively, fearing you would try to take that too. "I just want a chance, a chance to see if we can make more out of this.. bond, than this... constant hostile back and forth!"

You were struggling to keep your emotions in check. You knew Grimmjow was impossible to reason with, challenging to engage with, with anything other than anger. You didn't want to fight. Didn't want to snap and resort to his default of shouting and snarky remarks. You knew he was struggling with what he was feeling, that he wasn't happy about this bond. But it was here, it wasn't going anywhere, and all this back and forth was grating on you. If you were struggling keeping your emotions in check, then Grimmjow was loosing the damn war.

"I don't know what the fuck you want from me woman!" he yelled in response, glaring at you with every pass he made with his restless pacing." I can't fucking break it! I tried!"

"Im not asking you to break it! I know you can't, and I know that you would if you could, you're clearly less than fucking pleased to be lumbered with me!"

"Then what the fuck do you want!"

"To talk! To get to know eachother, find some mutual understanding!" You shout back, disappointed in your inability to not resort to a shouting match. You took a deep, soothing breath. Pulling it as far down as you could before controlling the steady release, willing your annoyance to leave your body. "I thought we could start meeting up, go on a few dates and"

"Dates?" Grimmjow sneered the word, almost offended his tongue had to manipulate around the syllable. He scoffed, seemingly finished with his mindless walking around. At last.. progress

"It's when two people..."

"I know what fucking dates are!" That interfering old man told him about them. Offering unwanted, idiotic suggestions when all he wanted was a solution to end this infuriating bond. They sounded like they consisted of absolutely fucking nothing Grimmjow wanted to engage with. Flowers and holding hands. Fucking strolling mindlessly through fields while this bitch talked his ear off. Not this Espada.

Sure.. don't know how to use chopsticks but is well fucking informed on dates and courting. Urahara seriously needed to reevaluate his priorities in what to teach Grimmjow..

"I ain't gunna fucking coddle you. I'm not going to bring you flowers or listen to you cry about your damn nails and hair. If you want all that bullshit go date the old man! Leave me the fuck out of it!"

You were instantly offended. Trying to palm you off on another man for something you didn't even want. You had no delusions about Grimmjow. You weren't expecting romance or sweetness. You certainly weren't so shallow or materialistic to demand or expect him to pander to you. Even if Grimmjow refused to see it, you were a strong, self sufficient woman. You didn't need all that from another person, you were capable of providing it for yourself. What you did require was damn respect, honesty and the same damn commitment you were willing to put into this

"I don't want to date Urahara, you fucking idiot. I want to date.." your angry retort died on your lips at the surprise widening of his eyes, the anger slipping from his face almost instantly. Inhaling deeply, you decide to finish your unintentional slip strongly. No more games. No more tiptoeing around the situation. One of you needed to stop this ridiculous back and forth and start being honest, truly honest "you, I want to date you Grimmjow. I don't need flowers. I don't need gifts or for you to change to please me. I just need a mutual respect, and a willingness to try and see if we can develop our own feelings not dictated by your bond."

He stepped towards you, a hesitancy in his movements you had never seen from him before. Questioning eyes searched your face, piercing deeply into the emotions swimming behind your eyes. "Why..?" Searching for a hint of deception.. a sliver of hidden motives. All he could find was honestly, vulnerability. He didn't know how to deal with that. Everyone had a hidden selfish agenda. A selfish motive for everything they did. He had seen it time and time again, offering help if only it benefited you later.

"I don't know" you spoke softly, not a remnant of anger in your voice. Grimmjow scoffed, shoulders sagging with disappointment. He nearly fell for it, almost believed your bewitching lies.. you took hold of Grimmjow's hand, stepping closer so he had no choice but to look at you "I can't give it a name... this..pull that I feel. This feeling I get when I think of you, these reactions I have when I see you.."

Grimmjow's mouth went dry, swallowing thickly as he listened.. heart thumping so loudly in his chest he thought it would bust right out his rib cage. The solidified need imbedded within the very fabric of his nature, that had been ripping him from the inside out, suddenly sparking wildly in his stomach as you voiced your want for him. Both your small hands holding his, caressing mindlessly over his fingers, mapping out the hardened callouses, your eyes watching your fingers dance over his skin..

Then you looked up, the purest of eyes, shining with vulnerability, need, desire. Looking straight though him, through his defence, his armour. His breath hitched in his throat when you looked at him like that, so open, so... honest

"I don't know what it is. But it's there. It's real, and it's growing and it's not going away. I want to know what it is Grimmjow.... I want to see what it could become "

#Accidental mate #Bleach #grimmjow x you #grimmjow x reader #grimmjow jaegerjaquez #He’ssss baaaacccckk!

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