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#idk why but this looked a lot better when it wasn't on my computer

deeppink-man · 6 months

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The story of my childhood fondness for Silent Hill

※ Because English is not my native language, sentences can be awkward. Mostly aided by translators.

When I was about 12~13 years old (14 years old in Korea), I was attending an art academy, and one day, my teacher saying today is a special day and played a horror movie with snacks.

The horror movie was Silent Hill, and I was very impressed with it because I loved horror movies and horror games.

Now that I think about it, it wasn't a movie for children, but I was really into it at the time anyway, and I came to love it so much that I asked my teacher what the title of the movie was and wrote it down.

I searched about the movie and found out that it was made based on the game.

The first thing that caught my eye was the overwhelming design of Pyramid Head.

I drew pyramid heads using basic paint tools that existed one by one on my computer at the time, and I became a Silent Hill fan by posting them on my blog.

I started studying about every series and got hooked on the story of the game, looking up the story of the series one by one.

I was a student and young. So I couldn't know the money to buy the original game, nor the route to get it, so playing the game myself was close to impossible, but nevertheless I wanted to know all the information from every series.

The first thing I started liking was Silent Hill's monster design, but more and more I started to love the main characters as well.

(Unusually, my favorite monster was the Butcher who came out of Silent Hill Origin, not Pyramid Head. (IDK Why))

Anyway, I got to like all the main characters in Silent Hill, and I enjoyed drawing them. But as a student, it was difficult for me to draw them perfectly, which is why I practice drawing them in a cute way.

It's a little embarrassing, but it's a painting from my student days.

Back then, I couldn't speak English much better than now, but I still drew cartoons in English and drew a lot of fan art.

If you look at my childhood drawing notes, most of the hard-working paintings were Silent Hill fan art. (And I don't know why, but I used to draw both versions of Harry.(SH1 and SH SM) I accepted two versions of Harry as different personalities.)

It's been a long time, and I'm old enough to interpret and judge Silent Hill objectively. And my drawing skills have improved that much. Since I couldn't play the game myself and tended to rely on the fan art of the fandom and the interpretation of the fans, there was a different interpretation from the original.

Silent Hill is a great memory for me. I even draw cartoons about Silent Hill in my notes, and I also had a dedicated painting style that I practiced to draw Silent Hill fan art. This game means this to me.

So, this fan art means a lot to me. It's because these fan art are things that I draw while looking back on my old memories in a long time ago. It may sound strange, but I grew up with Silent Hill. Remembering them, imagining their stories, drawing them is a pleasure for me.

The conclusion of the story is, I started drawing them again after a long time, and it reminded me of old memories. Recently, I rarely drew fan art because I had to work on a webtoon project. However, it sounds pleasant to me that after working for a long time, I return to my hobby and that someone else likes it. Thank you!

I'm glad there are still so many Silent Hill fans. I still love this game, and I'm waiting for a new reboot. I hope reboot back a good way.

#silent hill #my story

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anti-spop · 1 month

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tumblr keeps showing me posts by that part of the fandom and

gotta love it when c//a stans try to take the moral high ground by talking like we're just poor tortured souls who have such sad lives that we are "incapable of forgiveness".

like,, first off, catra is a fictional character. disliking catra isn't the same as sending hate to a real person (which, surprise surprise, c//a stans do all the time). "trying to be better" i just know that if i ask this person how catra was trying to be better, they would say "she saved glimmer" or "she said she was working on her anger issues", completely ignoring the context behind both of these instances. catra wasn't trying to be better, that's why we dislike her arc. also "people who are in love" that's her sister

also most of us don't think that "catra doesn't deserve redemption", we're just saying that she doesn't deserve forgiveness. but it's almost as if they're ignoring that so they can continue putting on their "holier than thee" persona.

secondly, do they think that spop antis are just hunched in front of a computer all day, making tumblr posts? LMAO it takes like two seconds to type out a post. or just make a few posts in your free time and queue it. most anti blogs i've seen only posts like twice a day so idk what this person is on about.

anyway, sorry about the rant! this post just riled me up a little lol

do not harass the OP of the post in the image.

lmao, yeah. it's so hypocritical considering i've been grossly harassed and STALKED by a spop stan for merely stating i didn't like lonnie, even though i ALSO said that lonnie had potential and i would've liked to know more about her other than her bullying kyle. the same counts for catra. as i always say, i actually relate A LOT to her but i don't think catra should've been in a relationship with adora, and her redemption was so cheap. none of those opinions mean that i want catra to die a horrible death or whatever, contrary to stan belief.

and true, sometimes i may post more than usual on this blog but it's not like i spend 24/7 on my spop salt mode, lol. and i don't post only salt, sometimes i post silly regular spop stuff too. even then, i know i have more important things to care about, this is why this isn't even my main blog.

stans think we're pathetic idiots who care too much about a fictional show, but honestly, most of the time it's the opposite, it's stans calling you ableist, racist, homophobic/lesbophobic etc. for not looking at c//a or the show overall with rose-colored glasses.

#asks #long post #anti stans

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1d1195 · 6 months

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Tulips is truly heartbreaking. ❤️‍🩹 idk why that story makes me want to ask how you and your bf are doing. You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to. I completely understand. But goddamn Tulips pulled at ever bit of my heart.

Oh you have no idea how much I love this message. Tulips was extremely personal to me and yeah... It means a lot to me that you read it and read between the lines 💕 I struggle to say how I'm feeling out loud a lot of the times so writing is helpful. Tumblr is also one of my favorite spaces to vent so don't feel bad asking personal questions lol. I'm very much an open book here hiding behind a computer screen.

My boyfriend and I have been together for a really long time--we're in the upper half of almost a decade at this point. I feel like at this point, I want him to read my mind because of it. Subconsciously, I don't think it's really fair of me to want that. He's wonderful, really, he is. I like to believe I wouldn't stay if he wasn't. I like being with him, we do fun things together, we have a lot in common, and he's very understanding of my anxiety.

To a point.

Sometimes I feel like he doesn't understand that I can't or don't want to do certain things because I get so stressed and he makes fun of me for it? Like weird things; I know they're weird and it's malicious on his part. It just bothers me after a while since it's been so long. Parking is my worst nightmare and I panic about it more than the actual event/place I'm going to. Or, I always look at the menu of the place we go to eat before we get there. My family is also really important to me--they drive me ABSOLUTELY BATSHIT CRAZY but I can't get rid of them. I can't not help them--my parents feel like toddlers sometimes and I just don't know how to not help. But I'm an eldest daughter and I can't say that being this way doesn't take a huge mental toll on my emotions and psyche every time I listen to one of them vent about the other. So I get why my bf says I need to set better boundaries but I don't think he understands how difficult that actually is in practice.

I am doing way better than I used to--back in high school or even college. But there are things in my life that I just can't seem to let go of and I know he's trying to help me move on or cope or whatever.

But it feels like when I do things like clean our apartment or try really hard to do special things he seems really apathetic. He doesn't recognize that certain things need to be done at certain times. Or that I like things done a certain way. And I know I'm neurotic. Like I know I'm not perfect and I don't always communicate how I feel.

When I do communicate how I feel about certain things or how I like things done, he always brings up something I do differently than how he would do it. So that brings me down a bit and I feel like I've changed a lot for the better and do a lot of things differently than I would have five or even ten years ago. So a lot of the time I just don't tell him what I'm feeling. I think he knows this though because he tells me sometimes I just explode because I let it simmer inside me and wait until some small grievance just boils me over. But it feels like he doesn't see that this is me trying or that there are things that he does that bother me but I feel like I can't say because he just turns it around on me.

I tell him all the time that if we broke up I wouldn't date anyone again (unless Harry Styles appeared in my life, of course). I think I really mean that. I like being in a relationship but I was single for a REALLY long time. Sometimes I think I miss it because I think sometimes I still feel like I'm a single person in a relationship. I'm pretty sure if we did break up I would be fine. Of course I would be extremely upset and heartbroken, but I know how to be an adult and take care of myself and whatnot. I would be surprised if he could name our utility company. Being single for a long time made me fiercely independent. I used to go out to breakfast by myself in college all the time. I don't mind being alone.

So, I hope this answers your question and I hope it doesn't make you think that I'm a stupid idiot for being in this relationship. We're good. We are. No relationship is perfect--I don't even think Harry Styles would be like the guy(s) I write about in my stories.

But maybe this gives some insight as to why I love my miscommunication trope so much.

Thank you for your message, your question, and of course just reading Tulips. I hold that one near and dear to my heart. 💕

xoxo

#tulips

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numetalpuppygirl · 1 year

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what i'm listening to 5/5/2023 (song notes under cut)

spot. link//yt link

Laura Les - Haunted: haunted. by laura les.

Machine Girl - Dumbass!!: i was listening to a whole bunch of machine girl in the lead-up to the gecs n girl show and i feel like it made me a bigger fan than i had been previously. i honestly still am not like the most familiar with their individual songs but this is one of the ones that sticks with me. NO SUCH THING AS THE BOOGEYMAN!!!!

Cracked Out - If You Leave Me I'll Kill Myself: pretty tasteless but as soon as i came across this post and listened to it i was immediately hooked on this song. it reminds me of the dumb edgy comedy bullshit i would have listened to as a tween, but like, the better side of that stuff. it was basically impossible to find much of anything about this group, so the spotify track is a local file that you guys won't be able to play, and it wasn't on youtube so i actually uploaded it myself this morning just to put it in the playlist lol

Sum 41 - In Too Deep: i feel like sum 41 tends to kinda get dismissed as part of the obnoxious skate punk scene of the 90s-00s, and to a large extent that's fair, but man did they have some good hits. i feel like edgy teen songs like these really can work by being simple as long as they just hit the premise with everything they've got, and this would be an example

Tyler, The Creator - DOGTOOTH: i was very pleased when this reached the top 40, brief though its stint was. i've been getting more into tyler recently bc i feel like i've been missing out, he's really such an interesting artist and he balances a lot of different traits super well while still delivering the goods in terms of good beats, good lines, etc. seriously, "not sure what you overheard but it's probably what I said" is such a good fucking line

Nick Lutsko - A Ghost Story: would STRONGLY recommend checking out the video for this one, either in the youtube playlist or on tumblr here actually never mind i can't find it. watch it on youtube it's fun. i followed nick lutsko on youtube for a while before whatever network it was that he was producing for went under. probably machinima. i mainly knew him because of his limp bizkit parody which is funny bc i wasn't even listening to actual limp bizkit at the time. anyway i really like his voice and i'm actually glad that he's still finding success these days

Naughty By Nature - O.P.P.: as i've referenced, i've been rewatching robbydude's paper mario vods, which are very good, and in one of the early ones robby references this song and it made me look it up. and then i made this post and it was underrated. i don't really have anything else to say it's just a good classic rap song

Slipknot - Left Behind: putting this here as more of a landmark to represent that i've been listening to iowa (the album this is from) a lot in general. i've had slipknot on the brain recently more than usual (not for any reason of course. winks) and reminded myself of why everyone loves iowa so much. it's so fucking brutal and biting... nu metal <3

Busta Rhymes - Woo Hah!!: honestly another one where it's like yeah idk this is just a classic what do you want me to say. busta's a legend and this song is legendary and he tears it up and it's good

Sweet Trip - Tekka: probably the most direct of the violet finds from this month (hi violet :3) i had never listened to sweet trip before but tekka instantly grabbed me... it's all crunchy and stuttery and has yummy synths. i especially love how it just fucking breaks down in the second half it's like that machine that's breaking down and sweating and sputtering it's almost sexual. you know

Ike & Tina Turner - I'll Never Need More Than This: so i've been on my phil spector bullshit, as you might have guessed, so i was revisiting some of his tracks to just kinda take it all in. as always, it. well it sounds really fucking good, and tina turner turned in a killer performance as always. i love. sound :)

Rowdy Rebel - Computers (feat. Bobby Shmurda): I'M SLIDIN OVER CARS WHILE I SHOOT

THEY THINK THAT I'M TOM CRUISE

Machine Girl - Scroll of Sorrow: it's really rather exciting. see for those in the know (which is all of you bc there's only two or three people reading this), you're aware that my mutual (hi again :3) had posted about how, at the live show, the vocalist of machine girl got up real near the crowd (including said mutual) during scroll of sorrow. as such, i was listening out for the song at my own show and well chat i'll tell you i was not able to recognize it :-) but there was one point where they got up on the railing above the pit and were singing from up there, and while it wasn't like exceptionally close to where we were at, it was still cool bc it was like hey! that's like the thing! that i heard about! :) amd anyway i like the song

Sonic The Hedgehog - His World: itsa banger... i actually heard the penny parker cover of this song from the sonic fandub way before ever hearing the original so even now i still mix up the lyrics but it's fine. i've actually never played a mainline sonic game or any video game or any media at all but i like the music

Strapping Young Lad - Oh My Fucking God: i straight up didn't know that strapping young lad was a devin townsend thing, not that i've listened to any of his other stuff. this song's weird and loud and stupid and i like it

Rae Sremmurd - No Flex Zone: okay now. based on this one and the previous song, can anyone guess what semi-popular artist playlist i was listening to this month? i tried to listen to a lot more rap this month, because i wish to learn more about this beautiful world. no flex zone has been my first exposure to rae sremmurd and it was a good one, although i like one of the guys way better than the other one. slim jxmmi i like him better

glass beach - classic j dies and goes to hell part 1: i didn't really "get" glass beach for a while, i thought they were alright, but this month they started to click (once again with some help - check out this post teehee). they're cute, earnest, and high-energy; i have to kinda be in the mood but i can get into it 👍 i've also seen the band described as sort of a modern emo type deal and while i don't yet know if i agree or disagree with that it compels me

NLE Choppa - Final Warning: straight up this dude is weird and has a weird hit on the charts rn but bc of that i was like "ok let's see what he was like before his big image change" and ended up liking some of that stuff. he's so energetic and it really gets you pumped up, which is def what i'm looking for in this type of thing. he's got some interesting lines, too. it almost makes me wish he hadn't changed at all - i feel like i missed out lol

Vanilla Ice - Prozac: okay look i try not to vanillapost too much but like i'm a little bit insane about vanilla ice. i'm obsessed with his career path and it is not uncommon for me to just sit and think about it for an hour or more. i really enjoy his nu metal stuff, at least the earlier portions of it, and this is a top-tier track from that era. real headbanger. FUNKY RHYME KILLER, THE DOPE SONG DEALER

#*char noises*#talking pop

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pastelbatfandoms · 2 months

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Marvel DR Memories

3/9/24

No full memories or shifts but I did have flashes and I was at the trampoline park today and saw a girl wearing an X-Men shirt and then the song 'Take on Me' played which is Clint Barton and I's song! XD

I also had a random vision of a fancy hotel and Me going out a revolving door while Bucky was walking in, we locked eyes and then the vision ended.

I also had a vision of Zemo holding me in a chair singing to me as a child, so while I was in Hydra, as a way to comfort me.

I keep having a recurring vision of Bucky helping me escape Hydra, while he's the winter soldier, the halls bathed in a green glow as I ran through them.

3/10/24

So I had another memory of being in Hydra as a child/young teen. (Around 9 or 10) A german general or Hydra agent (I'm not sure what his name is but he's in the movies when they experiment on Bucky) is talking to Zemo in regards to me along the lines of "If you can't follow orders and take control of her there's plenty of others who will. In more unpleasent ways…" Zemo looked away and down at me, "Yes sir, I understand." Then he picked me up and left. I remember that guy grinning at me and it wasn't comfortable.

Given the reading I did, I know I had a lot of options and "roles" in Hydra, I got a sense I was very sought after because of my gifts. So yes Zemo could be manipulative and controlling but he also was caring and protective, I could have gone through a lot worse if he wasn't there and he knew that. That is why he kept me around him so much as a way to protect me or comfort me when he couldn't. I just didn't realize it until now…or I had forgotten.

3/12/24

I got memories & possible scenarios, this time not involving my S.O.'s, firstly I guess after talking with Coulson in a dream that I had a relationship with Clint a long time ago, before he started a relationship with Natasha in my dr, but then we decided we were better off as friends and he is one my best friends.

Then I kept getting a recurring memory of meeting Daisy 'Skye' Johnson while I was hiding from HYDRA. I was essentially homeless and on the run. When I came across her van, it was empty att and I notice their was a lot of computer and hacking equipment. I was trying to hack Hydra when she found me. At first she was upset because it's her van but then we became fast friends, I do use her face claim so we could be actual sisters idk yet, she taught me how to hack better if I gave her intel. I joined the rising tide and stayed with her in her van. Then SHIELD found us, we joined them. Daisy promised to keep my secret about being in Hydra and a Widow if I kept her secret about gathering intel for The Rising Tide, I did.

Which we do get found out and in trouble for later. She still has her powers later on also. Bucky joins us in SHEILD later on as well, but he doesn't take the place of Wade, Wade and Skye still have their dynamic and Bucky and I have ours.

#marvel dr #dr memories #desired reality #reality shifting #baron zemo #bucky barnes #the winter soldier #hydra #agents of shield #daisy johnson #clint barton #Lilianne Liandre'

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eddwardtheseventhspacewizard · 7 months

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My rambles about tumblr Live

I gave into the curiosity and finally used tumblr live. I didn't watch anybody's streams because I didn't really care. I streamed myself drawing for a while. I put my phone over the edge of a chair and used it to record. I used my computer to monitor the chat. I also had my phone plugged in a charging. It was at sixty four percent when i put it in. (I remember because I always take note of the number sixty four because of Minecraft.) I probably was online for an hour to an hour and a half and in that time my phone's percentage went down to forty four percent. My phone's battery went down twenty percent while it was plugged in. This is odd for my phone so I am assuming tumblr live takes a lot of power for some reason. I don't know why it would. I also had thirty two people join my live but only one of them said anything in the chat. Idk if it's just a thing on tumblr live or streaming in general that people don't say anything but I though live interaction was why people were drawn to streaming. I don't know. I'm also pretty sure at least twenty five of those people were bots. I am not a fan of the tumblr live formatting either. I know they bought from another company and if I wasn't already aware of that before going in I'd probably assume that anyway. I think lives could do well on tumblr IF they make their own system for tumblr instead of using a cut and paste one. Maybe modify what they're currently using? idk. I think other than formatting the other big reason why everyone hates tumblr live is because it's been pushed so hard on us and also because it looks like it's all porn bots. Please tumblr you make this work. Just stop trying to force it on the users, make your OWN quality tumblr live program, and do some better monitoring so it doesn't look like porn bot computer virus land. Oh and maybe when you make a better program you can make it so it doesn't take a shit ton of power. I've taken a computer science class and I've done SUPER basic stuff but I'm pretty positive that tumblr can make their own streaming program. I honestly don't hate the idea if tumblr live I just think the staff went the completely WRONG way about it.

#tumblr live

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127day-dream · 1 year

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ALSO ALSO (im sorry for spamming ur timeline) (this is long)

WHY DO ALL MY TITLES HAVE TO BE SO LONG TYING HEARTBREAKER + BABY DON'T LIKE IT EVERY TIME I TALK ABOUT MY FICS IS SO LONG

but consistency... they're track 4 + 5 on limitless... and the story (of the song) really makes sense considering the story's (of my story) themes...

can u tell i overthink a lot? hahaha

but its fun... plus, i really overthought h+bdli (i hate that abbreviation!) even tho it was a short smut fic... honestly, i might rewrite h+bdli (still dont like that) because i feel like the message was kind of... lackluster.

idk, i feel like i wrote yuta a bit too... lightly. i wanted him to be a total piece of shit but it came a bit too cute bc haha smuttt

actually, yuta and i have the same mbti personality type. and actually, i asked someone on tumblr what nct member im most like and they said yuta... isnt that funny?

can u tell im procrastinating writing? by writing here? haha

i feel so sad about h+bdli, bc the smut was really good but besides that i didn't really like the story BUT I DO BUT I DONT yk what i mean? all the characters seemed so flat... i overhyped it in my head. honestly, that's it... i think just a lot of people asked questions about the story this time and... wasn't ready haha

i like my characters to be like, actual humans making human decisions, not like just hentai "for the sex" characters (do not look at be there for you, i was in heat) and thats why i do too much...

actually, even with be there for you, jaemin had a bit of a mental breakdown when deciding if he was actually gonna have sex with the reader, which imo, makes it great lol no doctor would actually risk losing their medical license..

i think that writing more dynamic characters is more fun. hwth is my baby. it's annoying, has too many characters, is gonna kill me, and its my precious little baby because i HATE some of the characters (cough, cough, jeno) but they're like, real people making real decisions (except haechan's sex scene, that was purely for the sex lol)

anyways... i wish when i started writing nct smut i wrote oneshots, hwth is gonna kill me... I DONT WANNA WRITE IT TO BE HONEST BUT IM MAKING MYSELF WRITE BC I LIKE WRITING BUT ITS SUCH A BIG PROJECT I WISH I DID HEARTBREAKER 1ST LOL

well.................. im gonna work on hwth.

maybe................. i'll actually work on a taeyong fic i've been working on for a while..............

UGH im sorry.

highway to heaven?

taeyong?

idk.

hahaha.... my back hurts.

ah....

I NEED TO WORK ON HWTH.

IM GONNA GET IT DONE

im on part 4?

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

my cat is sitting on my keyboard. too lazy to delete.

idk......

oh... my cursor is moving.

kitty, please leave.

i think she likes the warmth of the desk. i have a fuzzy blanket on it. she's sleeping on my mousepad... i tried getting her to sleep on a heating pad, but i think she likes the computer...

should i get her a computer? do i sound insane?

she deserves it. she deserves the world.

im not having any kids of my own, after all. she's my only family.

shes perfect. oh... i guess i really do sound like a mom....

it's okay.

actually, i never said this before, but i started writing smut to make my typing skills better... i always get made of for my typing...

isn't that funny? i could've just done a typing.com lesson...

but i like writing about sex and nct.

haha... well, for the record, it didn't work.

maybe i'll still do the typing.com lesson.

agh... my back really hurts.

i'm gonna sleep.

sorry, you'll have to wait for hwth pt... 4 or 5.

#ai's thoughts

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m-jelly · 2 years

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Hi Jelly! Happy New Year >///<, Happy New Year to us!!!

Can I request a fic of angsssstt, Idk but maybe most of us loves angsssssst or maybe it's just me #_#- in which Levi and the reader are newly couple, just dating and not married yet. In this case, Levi is still hesitant to give love to the reader, so when he receives love, he just shrugs it off and he kinda doesn't care about it, like in instance when the reader attempts to kiss him, he would move his head away or he would wipe her kisses off, when the reader wants cuddles he would just shut her out, when she makes him tea and offer to help him with his paperworks, he would decline her or etc. His actions leaves the reader hurt and depressed. One day, he realizes the reader gave up on him, she stopped showing or giving her love, she is distant to him, she won't even sleep or get near him and all of that made Levi missed her love and her too much. By that, he efforts to prove and to show the reader how much he loves her and he hopes it's not too late. Now, he is the one who kisses her first, offering her favorites and cuddling to her, making sure she's not hurt and sad yet the reader is still distant.

One day on a mission, he was determined to protect the reader that he almost gave his life away to make her safe. His almost-sacrifice made the reader bawled and weep that he ends up crying as well; afraid that he can't see her again. It's up to you for the happy ending where all is well and both Levi and the reader are completely happy together.

I apologize that this is too long, Thank you Jelly! ❤

I got a lot of angst requests involving near-death stuff, or love troubles with Levi. Ya'll love hurting my man. Who hurt you guys? Are you all okay? Do I need to call someone? xD I love you all, I really do. I'm still gonna do these requests because I adore requests and normal life is full of good things and bad. Relationships aren't perfect and they will have their moments where we have to learn and heal. Alright, enough of me being an old lady with life reflections!

Love is hard, but I want to learn

Pairing: Levi x Reader

Genre and tags: Romance, Levi's first love, hurt, healing, emotional comfort, future AU, developing relationship, happy ending.

Concept: In the future with titan machines threatening to destroy the world, you still manage to find love. You and Levi are a new couple, but things aren't going smoothly. Due to you being his first love, he doesn't know how to love you. Things get a little cold between the two of you, so Levi takes the leap and loves you fully. Levi takes his love a little too far when he almost loses his life on a mission for you. The two of you have to find a balance, or things might break.

You were in love. Deeply in love, but your love wasn't easy.

Levi loved you back. Levi loved you to the ends of this earth, but he had no clue how to love you. He panicked whenever you showed him love and affection. He didn't know how to respond. He didn't take you on dates and didn't get you gifts. Levi was lost, but he was the one who asked you out. Levi was the one who wanted you. Yet he did nothing to show that.

You wandered into his office with a cup of tea in hand. "Hi, handsome. I made you a special tea. I went out into the city and bought you some."

Levi looked up at you and blushed instantly. "Tch, I don't want it."

You stopped in your path. "Oh, are you sure?"

He really wanted it, but his feelings just built up too much. "Go bother someone else."

You put the tea on his table, then you stood next to him and leaned over to look at his computer. "I can help you if you like? You know, with the paperwork."

Levi's cheeks burned as he felt your heat, heard your voice in his ear, inhaled your scent. "I don't need help."

You wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed his cheek. "Alright then."

Levi pulled his head away and rubbed his cheek. "Why did you do that?"

You pulled back. "Sorry. I guess I shouldn't kiss you while you're working."

"Haven't you got anything better to do?"

You sat down on his guest chair on the other side of the desk. "I've done all my paperwork and I've been training none stop. So, no. Which is why I made you that tea and thought I'd visit you." You nibbled your lip. "It's normal for girlfriends to do things like that for their boyfriends."

Levi looked back to his work. "Well, it's annoying."

You bit your lip and looked at your lap. "Sorry." You stood up. "I should go."

Levi frowned as he looked at you leaving. "Go, why?"

You waved to him. "I'll see you around."

"Will you be back later? You know, at bedtime?"

You stared at him, then nodded. "Sure."

You left Levi and felt your heart stinging. You were so confused. Levi had approached you about being a couple and yet nothing had changed. You'd always had a crush on Levi, but he never knew and nor did anyone else. You had kept it hidden. Before you were a couple, Levi would always be around you. Levi was glued to your hip and made you work with him, train with him and do everything possible with you involved. So, when you became a couple, it confused you. He sought you out, but all that changed was you were always with him now because he demanded it. You longed to be held by him, but he just didn't.

You returned to Levi's room and went to the back to the bedroom to see he'd lain out your night things. You pulled your things off, then slipped into your nightclothes. You smiled at Levi when he left his bathroom wearing only his PJ bottoms. You blushed a little and admired the muscles and scars. You walked over to him and hugged him from behind making him jump. You kissed his back a little so he could feel your love.

Levi pulled your hands off him. "Bed. We need to rest."

You clenched your jaw, then walked over to your side and got in. You lay there and waited for Levi to get in. You rolled over and cuddled him. "Did you have a good day?"

Levi blushed hard and felt a need stir in his lower regions. Levi was flooded with dirty thoughts about you. He had no experience with women, so he knew he'd fuck it up. He rolled his back to you causing you to let go. "Fine, so just get some sleep. I'm tired."

You lay on your back and fought tears. You quickly rubbed away the ones that escaped. "Do you even want to be together?"

"Tch, what are you on about?"

You got up and slipped out of bed. "Nothing."

Levi looked over at you as you picked up your clothes. "Where are you going?"

You stopped by the door and sighed. "Giving you time."

"Time? I don't need time."

You looked to Levi. "You need time to think. You know where to find me when you decide everything."

Levi sat there in the dark as his confusion washed over him. He didn't sleep for the whole night because he couldn't stop thinking about your words. He went to work with his paperwork and stared at his door now and then, but you didn't visit. Levi felt cold.

He missed your voice, your smile, your scent and warmth. He missed everything that was you. He waited for a few days, but you were acting like nothing was going on between you and him, nothing at all. You kept your distance and it hurt Levi deeply. He missed you and he slowly understood what you'd been talking about. Levi needed a plan and it'd involve him showing you the love you deserve.

You wandered into your office with paperwork in hand for a mission coming up to finally take back a town occupied by the titans. You kicked your door closed and walked forwards and smelt something nice. You looked up to see a large bunch of flowers on your desk. "What in the world?"

Levi said your name and stood up from his seat, he'd been sitting waiting in your office. He put his hands up when he say you jump. "I come in peace."

You sighed. "You scared the shit out of me." You walked over to your desk and dropped your papers on it. "What are these for?"

Levi walked closer. "I got them for you."

You lightly touched the flowers. "You shouldn't have, but thank you." You gasped when Levi hugged you from behind. "What, what are you doing?"

He nuzzled your back. "I'm doing things I should have done when we started dating." He clung to you. "I missed out. This is nice."

You blushed a little and placed your hand on Levi's as you smiled. "It is." You patted his hand. "I need to do this paperwork handsome. This is for the mission coming up."

Levi let you go and watched you sit and start working. "Can I help?"

You looked up at him. "Help?"

He nodded. "Please."

You let out a long sigh, then picked some papers and handed them over. "Here and thanks."

Levi blushed at your sweet and gentle smile. He smiled back at you. "You're welcome." Levi worked on the papers. He was slightly shocked at how much work you had to do and how hard you worked as well. He looked over at you and admired how beautiful you were. He got up, then walked over to you. He said your name, but you just hummed back. "Look at me."

You looked up at Levi. "Yeah?"

He leaned down and kissed you for the first time. He felt an energy rush from his heart throughout his body. He pulled back a little and gazed at you. He admired your blush, then pushed his fingers into your hair and crashed his lips against yours. He put his other arm around you, then pulled you to stand up as he kept kissing you. He nipped your lip, then slipped only a little of his tongue into your mouth. Levi wasn't sure what he was doing, but he was going to try and keep going with this kiss.

You were in shock that your first kiss with Levi was so shy at first but then passionate. You moaned when he held your bum, then pulled you flush against his body. You clung to his shirt as you felt your body go weak. His hands touching you told you that he had confidence, but only feeling a little of his tongue in your mouth showed he was a little shy and new to this all. His confidence increased when you kissed him back.

Levi pulled back, then lightly kissed you. "I shouldn't have waited so long to do that."

You blushed as you touched your lips. "I need to keep working."

Levi sat on your office chair, then pulled you to sit on his lap. "I have the perfect seat for you."

You got a little nervous. "Le-Levi, I should really focus on my work."

He hugged you and hummed in happiness, then he ran his fingers on you right under your bra. "You're so smart, brave and pretty."

You fumbled with your pen as you felt flustered. "Thank you."

He nipped your shoulder. "Can you come to bed tonight? I want to cuddle."

You blushed a little. "I will think about it."

Levi pulled you close, then whispered in your ear. "But I want you to come. Please come. I need you to come."

You flushed bright red. "Do you even know what you're saying?"

He frowned a little. "Yeah, I'm asking you to come to bed."

You sighed and flopped onto your desk. "I know, but the way you said it sounded rude."

"Rude?"

You whined. "Perverted."

Levi reflected on his words, then a bright blush spread across his cheeks. "I guess you're right. I'll say that another time, later in our relationship."

You let out a long sigh, then sat up and carried on your work. "You confuse me."

Levi watched you work, then he moved you when it was time for food. He got you and his dinner and sat with you in your room as you ate. He made you a cup of tea as well, then just gazed at you as you finished your work. When you were done, he became overly excited about going to bed. He'd never cuddled someone in bed before, so he was looking forward to it.

You changed into your nightdress and saw Levi was watching. "What?"

Levi shook his head and smiled. "Nothing."

You ruffled your hair and sighed. "Gotta be something."

He walked over to you and placed his hands on your hips, then he kissed your neck. "You're just so beautiful."

"Thank you." You pulled from him and climbed into bed. "I'm going to sleep now. It's been a long day with a lot of paperwork."

Levi quickly pulled his things off so he was just in his tight boxers. He crawled into bed and lay on his side facing you. "I've never been in your bed before."

You looked over to Levi and blushed at how close he was. "Well, it's because I always went to you."

"You did." He moved a little closer. "You always did a lot for me."

You rolled onto your side and faced him. "What's going on? I'm a little confused."

"I thought about it like you told me to." He grabbed your bum, then dragged you across the bed and held you against him. "I don't want to lose you. I care about you deeply." He kissed you making you blush. "I love you. I asked you out because I love you. I chased you because I love you. I didn't kiss, hold you and run from your love because this is all new to me and I didn't know how to be like this. I'm learning and I want to learn with you."

You nodded. "Okay. Okay, I believe you."

He ran his hand up the outside of your thigh to your underwear. He looped his finger around the lacy part on your hip and tugged. "I don't know anything, I really don't. So, when we have sex, I will be very new to it. I'm sorry in advance if I mess up."

You cupped Levi's neck and smiled. "Communication. Relationships, sex and love are all about talking. I don't know and you don't know if we don't talk." You blushed. "So, if you are touching me and I say slower, you'll go slow. If I don't, I'll lie there not enjoying it. Understood?"

Levi nodded. "I understand. Communication and listening." He wrapped his arms around you and held you close. "Can I hold you tonight?"

You hugged Levi tightly. "Yes."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mike hurried ahead with you quickly and quietly through the street, then you both came to a stop and hid. Mike looked over to you. "So, you and Levi?"

You blushed. "Getting better. We're talking."

Mike smirked. "You two fucked yet?"

You blushed harder. "Not yet."

He hummed a laugh. "But you have fooled around."

You peaked out and checked the way ahead. "All I can say is, that man has had a secret talent no one knew about. His tongue and hands are out of this world."

"Fuck me, I'm impressed."

You smiled a little. "He says he wants to learn everything about me before we go further." You nodded. "I can't see anyone. Use your nose."

Mike sniffed the air and frowned. "Odd smell in the air."

"What kind of smell?"

Mike sniffed again. "Shit, move. It's a explosives."

You ran with Mike as the first explosion went off. You both kept running as explosive after explosive went off behind you. You dove out the way and rolled just as a large sheet of wall metal slammed into the ground. You loaded your gun, then fired at the titan soldiers running down the path towards you. The titans looked like swarming ants.

You looked around to see Mike was lying on the ground clearly knocked out. You pressed your ear piece and shouted your name and rank. "I'm under heavy fire! I've got a soldier down here. I need extraction for him!"

Levi called your name through comms. "I'm on my way."

"Levi!? It's too dangerous for you to come here. I need air support."

"Tch, damn it brat, air support is too far away. I'm coming in. I can't lose you."

You pressed your ear piece. "Levi! Levi!" He didn't respond. "Damn it!" You fired at the titans getting closer with a machine too. "Fuck! I've got a machine now!"

Levi came through again saying your name softly. "I'm going to pull them off you. I'll distract them and you get away."

You gritted your teeth. "If you do that you could die."

Levi was quiet for a moment as he flew through the air using his gear. "I love you."

Your heart stopped. "Levi?" You looked over to the titans to see an explosion. The titans turned and started chasing Levi. "Levi..." You welled up and heard comms chatter coming through. You sniffed and pressed your ear. "I'm here."

Erwin said your name to you. "I've got a shuttle coming in now to collect you and Mike. I need you to get to a clearing."

"On it." You grabbed Mike under his armpits, then dragged him along down the road to a little opening. "I'm here!" You fired a flare up. "You got me?"

Erwin sighed. "I got you. Landing now."

You waited for the shuttle, then got Mike onto the shuttle. You looked out at the town. "Erwin? Was this worth it?"

Erwin stood at your side as Mike was tended to by Hange. "The town will be ours. Promise."

You shook on the spot. "I messed up."

Erwin put his hand on your shoulder. "You fought those titans off. You were incredible. You are an amazing soldier."

You turned and punched the metal wall of the shuttle. "I should have done better."

Erwin understood your pain. You felt like you had given Levi no choice but to self-sacrifice to save you, Mike and others. Erwin knew, because he often beat himself up internally about his choices and actions. "You would have held your own there and stopped all those titans, I know it. Levi chose to go in because he was thinking with his heart and not his head. He'll come back."

"I hope so."

You stepped off the shuttle once it landed, then you watched them move Mike to medbay. You smiled and waved at him as he gave you the thumbs up as a thank you. You looked back to the town and heard no more gun fire or titan machines. You hated how quiet it had gotten. You were scared you were never going to see Levi again. You'd both just gotten to communicate more and you were starting to open back up again.

You lit up when you saw someone using their jets on their armour moving closer. You walked over as they were surrounded by scouts. You hurried over and saw the scouts part to show Levi with a cut on his face. You stopped walking and stared at him. You felt like you were seeing a ghost. Levi walked right up to you and said your name. You slapped him hard across the face stunning everyone around you both. You slapped him again when he lifted his head.

Levi lightly touched his cheek, then he looked at your tear filled eyes. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have thrown my life away like that."

You threw yourself at Levi and held him tightly as you cried. "I thought I was going to lose you."

Levi held you back. "I thought I was going to lose you. I had to fight for you." He choked on his words as he cried. "I can't lose you. I was just getting you back into my life, but I felt like you were slipping from my touch."

You sniffed back tears. "We're both stupid, but you're the most stupid."

Levi pulled your head back and kissed you. "I am. I really am."

You smiled at Levi. "I love you."

Levi smiled back at you. "I love you too. You're my everything."

"No more holding back. I'm going to love you will full force Levi."

Levi lifted you up and carried you. "Me too. Nothing will stop me now."

#aot levi #fanfic #levi #levi x y/n #levi x you #levi ackerman #aot fanfiction #levi fanfiction #snk levi #aot x you #captain levi #levi x reader #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman x you

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greenygreenland · 3 years

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Promise: Norman x Fem!Reader

-idk why but i’m having such a hard time writing pt 3 of Dream a Little Dream of Me, so here’s this to compensate for now

-i normally write for fem reader, but if you really wanted to, you could switch the words around in your head

-AGED UP characters because that’s been a trend in my work, so I’ll keep it constant

-just getting rid of drafts that have been sitting around for months

BRIEF MANGA SPOILERS, READ AT OWN RISK

Summary: Period cramps suck, and so does feeling burnt out and exhausted. Luckily, someone has just the remedy for you. This is after you all reach the Other Side. Emma is still missing.

Everything hurt--from your head to your shoulders to your knees and your toes. It was like someone flipped a switch. The other day, you were fine and dandy. There wasn’t a thing that could have swept you off your feet no matter how powerful the gust of wind. You were on top of the world.

Then your period started and you woke up with cramps that left you glued to the couch. It rained the day after, and when you dragged yourself out of bed to finish some work, you found that you just couldn’t.

An invisible rope tethered you to the ground, and the fact that it was so heavy made your head spin. Am I good enough to complete this? Will I have enough time?

Your stomach ached and your head pounded.

I can do this. I can do this.

I can’t do this. I can’t do this.

But why couldn’t you do it? The outlines for your essays and papers were long completed, and it wasn’t like you didn’t spread it evenly throughout the week. You always stuck to the schedule. To the last letter. To the absolute ‘t’. It was all you could do to remind yourself you had control over your unpredictable life. Yet now, why was it so hard to finish the job?

The cramps absolutely massacring your poor abdomen seemed to increase by ten fold, and the gentle sun shining through your window intensified into a raging fire.

The due date was five days from now. It seemed like a while away, but you knew it wasn't. That would fly by in a flash and leave you in the dust. If there was one thing that you took to heart from Mama, then it had to be the fact that time was precious. Without paying close attention to it, then you would surely go tumbling down a hill.

"(Y/n)?"

You buried your head in your hands miserably. "I can't do this. My stomach hurts so much and I can't focus", was what you wanted to say. Instead, it came out in a muffled groan of pain. “I...can’t...”

Norman waltzed over to your desk. His gentle hands settled around your slumped shoulders, encasing them in a much-needed warmth. You heaved out a long breath, sluggishly peeking out of your arms to get a good look at Norman's handsome face. He smiled lovingly and your knitted brows eased just a little.

"What do you need me to do?" he softly inquired. "I know it's that time." You huffed in thought, a weak smile twitching upon your lips. Of course Norman knew you had your period. He was always on top of his game. Always.

"So, do you need anything, love?" Norman patiently repeated. You stared into his bright eyes and melted. Calm. Caring. Sweet. Kind. That had to be one of your favourite things about him. He always had eyes that said what you wanted to hear. Whether it be, 'I love you' to 'I'm here', Norman always seemed to know what you needed.

This time was no different.

"You."

"Hm?"

"I want you."

Norman smiled and it was like the sun at Golden Hour. He took you by the hand and helped you over to your shared bed. A heavy sigh left your lips as soon as your back hit the soft bed. Norman placed a hand on your shoulder and tucked you in with him. "What's wrong?"

You shrugged.

"Hungry?"

You shook your head.

"Tired?"

You shook your head again.

Norman hummed to himself in thought. Papers lay on you desk, scattered in a mix of opened folders and half-baked diagrams. The unsharpened pencil perched at the edge of your desk centimeters from an immediate pit-fall to the waste bin. It wasn’t like you to leave everything laying about. Mama brought you up in the best way possible. She taught you that being neat and tidy were one of the most important things to do since it helped promote focus and calmness.

You weren’t one to let yourself slip like that, unless something were really bothering you. Norman’s gaze fell on your computer screen. It glowed brightly, slowly falling silent until the screen faded.

ELA ESSAY DUE MONDAY

The computer fell fast asleep, "Essay?" Norman echoed. You nodded and he pulled you close to his chest. College wasn’t easy when you couldn’t focus. Sometimes, Norman found himself dozing off. He worked just as much as you so that no one would have to borrow money from the Ratri Clan. It was a necessary sacrifice you both agreed on so no one else would have to suffer the horrors of high school and college combined.

It wasn’t that any of it was too hard, just that it was a lot of work.

After you both graduated, you’d make your own company, and from there, make a lot of money to support everyone.

"I'm guessing you're feeling burnt out.” Norman said. “You're almost done with the essay, but you haven't touched it since last night." He ran a hand through your hair. "And since your period came yesterday, you're not feeling too well. Do you want anything to drink?"

You muttered out a small no and Norman pursed his lips. He didn't know what to do because there wasn't much to do. Your stomach hurt, yes, that was bad, but he didn't know how to make you feel better when you probably weren't going to swallow pills without choking. Tea would help, but with the way you weren't moving, it would be impossible to drink.

"I wish I could help more." Norman muttered. "Maybe I should call Ray..."

You shook your head. "It's okay. Can you...keep talking?"

Norman's brows shot up. Of course! Talking would help you forget about your cramps and worries. Either that or you'd fall asleep! Perfect. Why didn’t he think of that?

"Have you read the book The Hobbit or The Lord of the Rings?”

You shook your head. Back at the House, The Hobbit and The Lord of The Rings were nothing more than those small books tucked away in the farthest reaches of the library. They were dusty old things, so you never bothered with them. It didn’t matter how bored you were of reading the same five books over and over again, those books were simply too dusty.

You recalled the time Ray playfully kicked at you. He told you to go away and stop complaining. Of course, you didn’t listen, and went on about how you hated (book).

“In those books, there are descriptions of this place called Hobbiton.” Norman spoke like he was reading a story. The way his voice flowed like water eased your nerves, reminded you that the present existed.

All you needed was a breather.

“Now,” Norman continued, “Hobbiton isn’t just a village or town. It’s a place where Hobbits live in holes in the ground. But these aren’t cold and dark. They’re cozy, with rounded doors and grass as green as an apple. Hobbits eat more than us, so they have different names for their meals. They’re mostly friendly people, and they’re open to tea time if you’re welcome in their homes. I heard that the movies were filmed in New Zealand. I’ll take you there on vacation, and we’ll bring Emma and Ray along too.”

You smiled against Norman’s chest. You wouldn’t like that, you’d love it. After staring at the same worksheets and papers, you needed a change of scenery. Somewhere far from here, just to get a breath of fresh air.

“Yeah.” you quietly said. “I’d love that.” Norman smiled and it was like an early birthday present. “When we find Emma, we’ll go to New Zealand and sightsee. We’ll see new places, and take lots of photos.” Norman stared at the peaceful look on your face. He pecked your cheek. “I promise.”

#tpn #tpn norman #ynn norman #ynn #norman the promised neverland #the promised neverland #the promised neverland x reader #x reader #anime #anime x reader #thanks for reading #please reblog #do it for him

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searemind · 2 years

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I got into computers at a young age.. and often tried to play games on the family computer (using questionable means 🙄) and failed mostly because of old hardware. Looking back, I still don't have access to any "powerful" computers as such. However, this made me try to do more with whatever means i had.

I got my first "nerdy" thing a few years ago in the form of a Raspberry Pi 3B+ as a present and it was just perfect. I've since moved on to a Raspberry Pi 400, using almost the same stuff I used on the previous model, but faster. This led me to programming and everything related to it. I read and watched various courses and textbooks on a lot of different stuff (never really learning much). It's true when they say that you don't learn without doing the thing you're trying to learn.

So i started doing stuff. I wrote small programs in Python and later C. I made a simple cipher tool for my school project last year, and a .vcf file parser this year. Researching about new things (at least new to me) made me learn not only about programming, but how things worked in general. I started trying to use my phone to do this stuff. Android as a platform is pretty easy to use for these purposes from what I've experienced. I found an app called Termux which is honestly perfect for this.

I started compiling software on my phone - software which probably wasn't supposed to be compiled for Android in the first place. I started porting bits and pieces of softwares which didn't work as it is on Android. I tried cross-compiling and found one of the best things about open source projects - there are so many of them and finding an obscure project which exactly caters to your needs is satisfying indeed.

I tried packaging these softwares I compiled in a form which could be distributed easily. So I modified jackpal's Terminal Emulator for Android and added these binaries in the folder which is supposed to contain native libraries. I came across the differences between static linking and dynamic linking in this process and how Android used to use static linking in the beginning and now Google itself discourages it.

So I statically linked a lot of stuff and compiled a LOT of stuff - C Compilers (trust me, building LLVM from source on an ARM android phone isn't fast at all), Interpreters for a whole list of languages, tools and editors, and a lot of other stuff. The thrill of compiling from source is just indescribable. It adds a sense of belonging and pride. And when that something contains your own inputs and modifications and added features, it feels even better.

The latest thing I've made is an app which started as something I'd use to learn Haskell (I have not yet 😔). I kept on adding things to it and now I statically compiled an X Server with a whole bunch of GUI apps which run (almost) flawlessly on my phone. I still can't justify it with any purpose and I probably will move onto something else, something better soon. I call the app XHaskell (I know, predictable).

With each project I start, I learn something new and in my opinion, gain more maturity in this field. From what I've experienced, there is always someone who knows much more than you when it comes to computing in general. So that keeps me from trying to act like I know a lot in front of everybody I guess.

Honestly, this is something that can always take my mind away from almost anything else I'm thinking about. It has helped me out of depressive and suicidal states and I'm thankful about it (not that all of that's behind me for good). But yeah... idk what I just typed and why I typed it.. but this is my first blog post I guess..

Here's nyancat in XHaskell (I haven't found any screen recorder written in pure Xlib yet; almost all of them use GTK which I can't statically link yet.. so yeah.. I took 30 screenshots one after the other and merged them into a gif using imagemagick which i statically compiled with musl a long while ago using my Raspberry Pi)

#Programming #Computer Science #nyancat

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000png · 2 years

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Omg I have yet to do a stage gifset and ngl I am a bit hesitant ndjajdjs I respect those that do them because there is alot going on and also at the same time. Not alot lol. Hey that's perfectly fine!! You also are moving ahead with life so gif when you can, I have huge respect for cc that are constantly up to date. Sadly while I do have more time, I feel like I don't want to be ontop of everything because it feels tiring(?) If that makes sense and I'm still new to making gifs so I just want to have fun with them still ya know? So far what I had done are simple gif sets with text (I really enjoy adding fancy text to my gifs. Idk why but it is fun to me), having fun with coloring and making the set pop (i.e. my recent skz one) or making myself cry with deciding to do an idea that I thought would be easy but turns out it wasn't but I won't give up because I am stubborn (ny ot13 svt set or combined gifs for txt)

I have yet to experience that but I have experienced seeing gifs look better on computer than the app and crying when how bad they looked (but then again I also realized I wasn't sharpening ALL of my frames until now sooo) also experienced the nightmare that your program crashes and you didn't save anything 🙃 love that for me, lost all of my night worth of sleep for that.

Idk if it is alright for me to ask but any helpful advice for giffing overall? Like what you have learned from giffing over time? I love hearing advice to improve what I can :D

SAME like it's hard both to crop and color stage gifs consistently esp if they're moving a lot and there's a lot of crazy lights going on 😭😭😭 idk how people do only stage gifs I cry after doing 1 (one) gif like not even a full set

yeah for sure, one shouldn't gif bc they feel obligated to but bc they're having fun!!! and ooooo text is always fun it always gives that extra huzzah to gifsets ❤️ I used to rly love doing captioned sets for a while. and for me exploring different colorings is the best part of gifmaking!!! I have sort of fallen into a standard coloring but I'm always rly proud of myself when I can do something outside my usual style that I actually like hehe

and mood oof I only have the energy for simple sets these days... I have ideas for more complicated sets certainly but wowowow it takes so much effort 😭 but also once ur like halfway through a complicated set it's like well I'm committed now vhehnsksnx

AND NOOO programs crashing is the worst 😭 tbh that's why I'm a sporadic saver like catch me saving after every layer adjustment dhksjdbdnjs

and yessss feel free to ask my anything!!! tbh I don't really know if I've... "learned" anything over time as much as just fumbled around and gotten more familiar w the process so that I have general settings and go-to filters that more or less will always work for me 😂

#if u have questions abt something specific tho happy to answer!! whether via askbox or dm ❤️#asks #happysmilebtr #long post

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seedleaflesssapling · 3 years

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Ver 2.0? Turning Point?

I can't really identify to which point in my life that i started to doubt myself but im pretty sure that it was because of UP. Damn, that school, my uni. It do really have the ability to make you feel small; i was in a disadvantaged side when i entered it, you know. I was acquainted, no we did not really talked one-on-one, but i heard when we did introductions - Pisay, UP High, science comprehensive schools, Xavier University, who wouldn't be intimidated by that when you came from Col. Ruperto Abellon National School (who would know where that is? I was lucky enough for a teacher recognized it and my classmates be like 'ahhhhhh,' .....really?! I dont even know where xavier is, it just sounds cool). Another thing is that, i wasn't a stem shs graduate - a leverage(?) or excuse (?) that i always use for them to know that i am at disadvantaged side here, not their competitor, probably a NOBODY. They, being stem graduates, have capstone projects you never thought that they have at that age, but i would hear them saying that it was publish in this journal (whatever, idk the journals lmao, i dont even understand their studies 2nd lmao, but that was some smart shit you know, a shit that makes me feel pathetic for being too proud of my what? Correlational study from inconsistent surveys?!!! Wtf, wtf, wtf). But it was a very good peer pressure you know, i kinda turned it that way. Being left behind, being on the rock bottom, i have no other place to go but up. It wasn't the goal, like making or taking the top spot, i just need to survive.

Inevitably, the exams came. I had hard time adjusting chem but math was kind to me. Who would have thought that i would get two 1.0 at my math subjects for the first semester, the sem that i thought i would barely pass. I was even a CS for that sem. Who would have thought? Our first chemical engineering subject that involves computations was on the list the next semester and the first exam, out of 100 i got something like 20ish. WTF. THAT WAS MY FIRST FAILED EXAM. but no, never did cry but tears were flooding inside. So apparently, i have to focus more on this subject and i did. Some were still failing, but i raised my average up. We also had physics, my first ever physics. I really love physics that time or that sir rommel is just a very good professor. I got the highest score on our second LE, everybody else did fail. Small victories. Not that they lose, but i just won. But i heard one time they were talking about me re: passing the physics exam and even getting a high score. They were uhm.. a guy i really look up to cause his good, the other was a girl that idk but i think she didn't like me back then. They were friends but eventually the girl transferred uni because who cares why. i heard the guy saying something like sin.o gid na si franklin nga taas iya score man, maybe even worse than that, i still look up to the guy even until now. But wtf. I really took it in that time, like i wanted to cry but did not. With all that, i got a fair grade at physics. I still got 1.0 at maths that sem and even maintained being on the CS list. S M I L E. BECAUSE WE HAVE A MIDYEAR CLASS. VERY EXHAUSTING FOR SOMEONE WHO DONT WANT ANYTHING BUT JUST ADJUST, SURVIVE, AND FIND MEANING OF BEING A UP STUDENT. It was just one subject and it was math, but i got 2.0?!!! I have no excuse to that, i am very grateful for the family who accommodated me. After midyear class, i did got sick, it sucks, really sucks. I wanted to file an LOA for the next academic year, it is the only thing i can think of for me to go back on track (i haven't said that my parents pushed me to graduate with latin honor and i wanted to also for my resume to look good because everything else in me is effed up). I really wanted to pause and be free for a while but i also wanted to graduate on time (mostly because i want to give the bitches who dared to have expectations be put on my shoulders not the satisfaction, but the audacity to tell them 'i aint did it for ya') so i asked mama. THANK GOD, SHE DID SAY NA KUNG ANO LANG KAYA MO, AMO LANG DA IH 😭😭🤧🤧 so i enrolled, but went to school late, haven't attended the school opening but all is good. I did kind of reset, just enough for me to face school again.

Second year, it was fucked. I did really love coding on octave and doing sheets at ms excel though. On that year, we have formed the che 103 bagsak group. Together with two of my classmates on 103 and math 55, we became buddies after failing che 103 on the first LE, another 30 over 100 exam hahahahaha. We made bawi just enough for us to pass the subject hahahahahuhu. I have thermodynamics sub, i barely pass. Thank G na wala ko nag removal. If ever i did, i am so sure that i wont make it. My GWA for that sem was not enough for me to be a CS. Who cares? I still did, actually but mama was never been too pushy since then, even since after midyear, after getting that 2.0 grade from the only subject i am good at. Btw, my math 55 for first sem, second year, was 1.25. Not a 1.0 but still, it's good. Second semester that year was when pandemic hit so there's nothing much to tell. I was, sorry but i was really, glad to be away from school for a while, not until for a while became forever. Virtual university set-up was very hard. With too much from taking in whatever i see and hear on my surroundings, even just at home, everything is difficult. It is very hard to find motivation and discipline in studying when i was surrounded with people who do nothing. Even to this point i am writing, everyday is like a battle, but is mostly an internal one. Self vs self, a war no one knows who will win. So the confidence, the tower of knowledge i did build, exponentially went down. I did really well when i was in grade 10, i did my best that time and it can be seen at the achievements i had that year. Being consistently on top 1 the whole year, placing second on division MMC (even getting the highest score on the written elimination round for the whole cluster), doing well sa physics under maam andico, placings on cluster journalism competitions - it was like a record best, best record (?) Whatever. But it wasn't enough you know, i eventually came fourth like wtf. I had read from somewhere Newton saying like the two years when he did write the three laws of motion and the calculus stuff were the two best years of his life, and it kept me thinking that what if mine already passed? That it was when i was in high school?

But, back when i was in school, every time that i was belittling myself or even at random times that i would feel nervous for nothing, my classmates and close friends would say na:

Uno mo man ang Math, uno mo na na (it was a one or two time thing, what if chamba lang to???)

Ikaw man highest sa first le sa thermo (it was really an absolutely one time thing, i barely passed that sub)

Alam ka man sa physics (i was just invested on physics and maybe nachambahan lang na ang ginpractice ko solve kay parallel sa exam ni sir)

Alam ka, d ka lang confident (OKAY???!)

I was ignoring those shit cause who cares if i did really good that time. Yeah, it felt good but it wasn't fulfilling. Satisfied but not happy. But with recent events, i think i would be changing. This post will be a written contract that i will push to be better, to start trusting myself, and build that confidence glow behind me; to believe that i am bright and i can hack it, whatever it may be.

For coherence, i would itemize na lang all of the events that brought me to epiphany lol

It was Friday, 17 Sep, when Dean, in our plant design subject, gave an activity for us - to come up with solutions that would address problems he presented. 1 off grid island community (either you address the water, electricity, and phone reception/signal problem under a 100k budget) and 2 vinegar packaging with a 500 mL volume and should cost less than the cost of vinegar. The due's on Monday, 20 Sep. The challenge is that you should come up with an idea that is not the same with those who already turned in their proposed solutions. I haven't turned in mine until Sunday afternoon. We are 23 in class, hence there should be 23 proposed solutions for each problem. However, only 20 or 21 turned in their solutions and as a student who decided to do it three days after the sheet was given, i was at the second to the last of the entries hahaha. I have limited choice since a lot have been proposed. And ngl, i did entered my idea for the first problem at Sunday evening and for the second problem it was on the afternoon of the next day. Those were basic solutions cause who am I? Am just your basic guy.

Tuesday, 21 Sep (#NeverForget #NeverAgain), class again for plant design (PD). Dean discussed stuffs which im ngl, i did not listen because im bored (not until he said 'we'll have a 5-min break and we'll have a quiz after that' like wtf, how will we do our quiz???!). After the short break, I did study cause i panicked as hell, he presented the prospects of the course, that we will be divided in groups and that the leaders were chosen based on the solutions they turned in the activity previously given. So there's no quiz, i was calm the whole time after that until my name was called. Like wtf??! Your basic guy will be a leader???! Hello!!! So i chat people, asked them if it was a good thing (course it was!!!? So dumb right?!). And then, i asked another leader and she agreed to my argument that we should only be divided into six instead of seven as what dean has decided. So i chatted dean (pic below). I just accepted the role half-heartedly.

As leaders, we should be hiring people for our team and we should make pubs. I dont have a canva account to help me do pubs. I made mine at MS ppt HAHAHAHAHAHA but im good so its cute. We were assigned with projects and i get to have the 4-member team. The vacant roles were project maven and liaison officer for a 3-member team. In my pubs, i included scrummaster as position to be filled, cause who am i to lead?! So yeah, that's it. I did the pubs Wednesday and I submitted my resume Thursday (third to the last hahahaha but my resume's cute hahaha).

Thursday. So i had this invite by a classmate to join the Shell event long time ago. He was reaching out for someone to ask Dean for his approval because Dean did not replied to the email he sent. So, i volunteered. I really want this competition cause this will be my first and maybe last competition as a UP student. So i DMed dean and blah blah blah he asked for selection process. I relayed the message and apologize to them for being me because i was thinking that it was me who made him come up with the decision of having the team be selected. Like, wtf i was just asking for his approval. Getting kicked out of the team was not my intention. Those whom i chatted that night were telling me that it wasn't my fault blah blah blah. So i half-heartedly agreed to them.

Friday came, yesterday, the interview. I am very anxious for someone who will be the one asking the applicants lmao. I already have been interviewed before for college applications and somehow remember the feeling, nerve wracking, whatever. To calm my nerves, i listed questions which i never got to ask properly btw, but at least i have concrete ideas on what to ask. The first interviewee was my very closed friend and so we just laugh and laugh and laugh HAHAHAHAHA. IDK if dean saw it but who cares. And the next and next and next. 3:30 passed by fast and guess what??? YOUR BASIC GUY HAS THE MOST NUMBER OF APPLICANTS TO THE POINT THAT DEAN CUT MY LIST. IT WAS EXHAUSTING BUT VERY FLATTERING. I FEEL SO HONORED. i really thought and very scared at the thought that no one will apply to me but wtf, just wtf. Ranking my applicants was damn hard. 1 i have a dream team but one was cut by dean; 2 this could make my friends mad; 3 this will be the group for the whole year; 4 i am really exhausted. But still, i submitted the list. I was hoping for the people i chose to choose me back. Only two out of three did, i am forever grateful.

Still on Friday, the classmate who invited me to the Shell thing and Dean had a zoom call and discussed about the competition. That classmate told dean what i told him the other day that i might be the reason for the decision of having the selection process done. He told me this through a voice memo, katamad daw magtype. A voice message that i played over and over again. Dean actually find me interesting (?), Invested (?) Idk exactly but the classmate told me na 'may nakikita daw talaga sya sayo. Na grabe ka ka-practical as a person like yung ideas mo daw sa plant design napakasimple lang pero napaka practical to the point daw na madami nag apply sayo kanina. And then, you need more confidence lang daw talaga' so ig, you basic guy is a practical guy now. It's just flattering.

Now, whatever happens, i must meet those expectations right? This could be a lousy motivation but what is if there's none? I dont know why im writing this. I just thought i should get my thoughts out. Ver 2.0? Turning point? Let's just do good 😌

PS I put this on my bio on FB, guess im getting more public, and if you happened to read this because you saw the link on my bio, send me a message about you thoughts.

PPS if your initials are JTZC, these have been my week and i miss you even though you're not interested in me anymore, you are hard to forget

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selfcareparker · 3 years

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(lovely anon) i'm so happy to finally be answering this oh my goodness hi gorgeous human being i feel that it has been too long 🥲 SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED SINCE THE LAST TIME I'VE WRITTEN ONE OF THESE HOW HAVE YOU BEEN

to answer the things you have said most recently- i'm so mad that spring break is over bc now i have to go back to life??? like dancing and school and shit that feels so unnessacry 😭 and like i can't just do nothing anymore? i was so used to it and now...... ugh. i STILL haven't played sims (i think it's because ✨depression✨ be hitting sometimes) lol but MWAHAH IM SO HAPPY FOR YOUR NEIGHBOR!AU AND THAT THEY HAD LITTLE BABY LEO!! i feel the name thing.. i just come up with something that sounds nice? i think leo is a nice name, it makes me think about lea michele and the fact that her son's name is Ever Leo but anyway. i don't name my sims after what i want to name my children irl either... idk why though. (i don't know why i'm telling you this but for boy names i love Liam🥰 and if i had twin boys i think i would do Liam and Peter though i am not married to the name Peter.... anywho)

LMAOOO the therpaist coming made me laugh thank you :)) i hope it's helpful? this may be tmi but i've only really had negative thoughts recently and not many healthy outlets so i'm hoping crossing one thing off this sad list will make me feel better :') i think during spring break my anxiety and my depression really spiked? idk, it comes in episodes but yeah THIS GOT REALLY SAD

i think a lot of things when i read your posts but i never say them hahaha so imma say it now: i googled what bon appetit meant ( i also just had to google how to spell it ) but ur right, i feel like bone apple tea makes more sense than bone apple teeth.. the "th" is throwing me off bc how i say it bone appa (like app-a) teet (like you're saying tit but teet lol) so bone apple tea makes more sense to me lol

i never know really know the time difference for anything lmao but est to germany (that's not gmt is it?) is like 6 hours wOAH so it's like 9pm while it’s 3pm here? wowee

i feel mega weird after watching this show called hollywood (darren criss is in it, so is laura harrier and a bunch of other people) but i don't like it💀 i feel really icky rn and idk why but reading your last response to my ask (?) always makes me feel better :')

i am doing what you said btw, i'm typing this on my computer first then gonna transfer it to my phone's tumblr lol but when you said a digital detox, it's interesting cuz i feel like i've been having one since tom's new project was announced? gOD i don't wanna get into it bc i get so triggered but i've been off of instagram since then bc instagram stans literally stand by tom through whatever even when something ain't right- i’m just gonna leave it there bc i’ll continue the rant, but yeah so i took a break lol

also heard abt your driving lesson thing (?) was it that bad? i can't find the old post but someone asked if you hooked up with your lesson person and i was sOOO CONFUSED LMAOO LIKE OK ARIA GET SOME BUT UHH HUH?

now to address the actual response HAHA the way you touch my heart :') by :') bringing :') up :') halle :') being ariel :') (i honest to God don't remember if i brought this up first, forgive me if i did, it's been a minute lmao) i'm always talking about it and i'm pretty sure my family is so tired of me talking about it lmao, but YEAH when i found out they weren't twins i was so surprised but idk why i always thought they were twins? but YOU ARE SPEAKING MY LANGUAGE WITH THE DISNEY TALK- everyone is always like "tiana is my favorite princess" and yea she's strong and stuff but...... she was a frog. for almost the whole time. it's about time we got another one!! i do agree with some people on the fact that disney should just make another black princess but halle is adorable and i was ariel on stage so it's already really special to me :')

yeah lol there are good times with my brothers but they make me mad for a good portion of the time (there's the 12yo vincent and the 7yo daniel but vincent??? psshhh he is a piece of work and i'm not sure how much longer i can put up with him HAJAH AND YES VINCENT IS THE ONE WHO WAS 👁👄👁WHEN I CRIED AND THE ONE WHO DOESN'T LISTEN TO MUSIC- writing this now makes it sound like vincent is awful. which he isn't... we're working on him ig. not to add to the awfulness but no, he listens to obnoxious loud VIDEO GAME MUSIC and won't stop when we ask him to stop... he gets beat up a lot) anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌

yeah let me know if you end up watching it (wandavision)! i think it's great but if you like it lmk!! tfatws is sooo good like PHEW i am honestly loving it. sidenote: j*hn w*lker makes me wanna jump through the screen and choke him to the ground. i was thinking right, and the falcon and the winter soldier (THATS SO MUCH EASIER FAJHKDAH) would techinally be like a 10 hour movie right? because every episode is an hour long and there'll be 10 episodes? like wow. i get what you mean though, abt the racism in the show etc, like looking forward to it but not like..... no i get what you mean i will not try and give another example lol but you make me wanna learn more languages like really badly (bc of what you said about the german to american translation) & if you end up watching hamilton PLEASE LMK ABT THAT TOO HAHAHA i love it so much, same thing with lion king lmaoo

speaking of germany, i was at lunch on saturday with my mom and her friend and we were talking about my schooling and like-- she planted this idea in my head lol like what if i just got my GED and went around the world (to england probably) to get a theatre experience??? and i think it sounds so cool but no where near practical lol, it's just..... the dream haha and i would then try and learn a language 😉

uh yes we absolutely should order basically a resturant meal at a cinema, how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?

also about cherry (which i still haven't watched yet lol) i got the timestamps from tumblr😌 i couldn't find them anywhere else, but i agree, i probably wouldn't even look twice at cherry if tom wasn't in it? like i liked tdatt a lot, but it's not a movie i would be itching to see ya know?

HAHAHAHA THE 24 HOUR NOTIFICATION- i think i have around 1030 hours on sims? but i've had it since 2019 lmao (reading the screenshots, yes u are 100% a genuis, i take screenshots too but on anon you can't upload them so i just read them and retype what i wrote lmao) i think the university experience in the game is fun, but time consuming and it's all work imo. idk why i do it so often tho 😭😭😭

and agreed!! when you're making good money in the game you have to find other ways to make it interesting. my cousins who play it just continously do "motherlode" and i'm like.... then what do you do in your game?? it just sounds boring to me... my current sims household, i had a famous comedian sim, her name was dylan, aND SORRY IM LAUGHING SO HARD WHILE WRITING THIS BC ITS A GREAT EXAMPLE OF THE UNI THING UNLESS IM JUST DUMB, she went to college for communications when i wanted her to be a comedian and when she graduated i realized that degree did nothing for the career 🥲 so yeah, i think i'm just dumb. but she had a kid in college, guy didn't stick around and she was pretty broke HA but then she got married to this (great) guy named steve, made good bank, had 5 more kids (two sets of twins and one more lol) but then she passed. uhm... yeah that's still an open wound . lol i'm kidding, but when you get rich like that, you have to find a way to make the game interesting and i chose a million kids.

(this was one giant paragraph until i broke it up uhh yeah) i seriously don't pay attention to the sims prices and just end up spending way too much money and not being able to finish the rest of the house😭 but then again, i'm so used to having sims live in apartments... if i end up building a house FIRST OF ALL it'll look like what you explained before lmao but i'll tell you if i actually end up building a house HAHA & planning out your sims game is so fun to me lol, did enisa and michael take in his daughter yet? i may be thinking too far ahead lol and i love that they fucked woohooed (i say woo woo lol) in celebration HAHA but when i was playing with this one couple i had them woo woo every night hoping the dude would have horrible pull out game and they would concieve, but one night they were too tired and i was like why? get back in there man. if i was in college and lived with my partner we would be fucking every night homie. be grateful. i have been talking a lot about sims, and like you said: enough 💀 i just love this game a lot 😭😭

SORRY LAST THING i think the sims romantic and sexual stuff is so nice bc its what i want?? LMAO IDK like the whole hot tub thing you're talking about- puh lease ITS JUST NICE TO SEE OKAY

i'm reading the german section over again and i said aloud "my german friend is so cool" lol (i was saying that to my brothers & i know they don't care LMAO) (& i'm glad the uni zoom call went well!!) so on a form, in german, it could possibily say Einführungsveranstaltungsteilnehmer because you would be a participant to an introductory event? i swear german sounds so cool 😌 but i love reading your german lessons!! it's really interesting, most of the time my brain can't comprehend it tho?? like that word makes sense to you, but i need a translation. like to be able to look at that and know what it says.... its just appealing and seems so cool lol i kinda wanna write something out in german but i feel that google translate will fail me. während googeln "google übersetzen" mein Computer war so verdammt langsam und es fühlte sich einfach wie etwas Gutes auf Deutsch zu sagen. ich bin nicht sicher, welches Wort ist "fucking", aber ich mag es lmao (did it fail me like i thought it would??)

LMAOOO THANK YOU FOR BRINGING UP JUSTIN BC WHILE AT THE RESTURANT THEY PLAYED A JUSTIN SONG AND I IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT OF YOU AND THIS STORY😭 lol i was thinking it's depending on your age but not even that either... i really don't know.... but tom's fans are hollanders💀 i would consider myself one? he's the only person i'm really into like that (like a lot lol) so idk lmao (directioners 💔💔the pain is real)

LMAOOO (both of these paragraphs started off with “lmaooo” smh) "i like my men when they look like they are on the brink of death" PLEASE, i don't like pete's blonde hair... i just don't. i'm not sure if i wasn't watching the most recent snls but yea. my mom thinks he looks like trash, but i think he's okay? like he said staten island people just look like trash LMAO and I STILL HAVEN'T SEEN KING OF STATEN ISLAND GIRL I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THAT!! now i'm gonna make plans to watch it lmao, & yes agreed i find pete hot, don't ask why i really couldn't explain it to someone he's just .

my favorite songs from rex are from pony oh my goodness 🥺 anywho i'm gonna go eat cereal (i ended up eating bun and cheese instead) and listen to the Stormzy songs you recommended... aria. aria aria aria. i would like to thank you for introducing me to stormzy i- i don't have any words or any emojis to express HOW GOOD STORMZY IS. i hope he's popular in germany/the uk because i haven't heard of him but GURLLLL

one second - delicious i love it. it's really good. it’s not my favorite from the album, but its great.

superheroes - at first i played the non-explicit one (on accident) and wondered why the words weren't playing but i was reading them in the lyrics??? THIS ONE THOUGH??? IS THE BEST SONG I THINK I'VE EVER HEARD. i am so SO SO into black people empowering songs (like brown skin girl by beyonce) and this song???? PHEW I CRYYYYY ITS SO GOOD.... i was gonna quote some lyrics BUT THERS TOO MANY I LOVE, "i am young, black, beautiful, and brave" "black queen, you're immaculate, it's coming at the world, they ain't ready for your magic yet, and that was never your fault" THAT WAS NEVER YOUR FAULT- I ALMOST CRIED THIS SONG IS SO BEAUTIFUL (i played it twice lol)

lessons is another beautiful one, like its slow and it feels intimate and nurturing and just OO chefs kiss, beautiful . like you can feel the apology and the regret... it’s so good

own it - OWN IT OWN IT OWN IT IS AMAZING!! swear you would catch me dancing to this song, this song is so fucking good i cannot comprehend like this one might be my favorite for real... "it's the way you wind up your waist, i'm so in awe, you never have to worry abt nothing, you know its yours, you know you own it" 🥲 i played it two or three times honestly

rachael's little brother - YES I DID LISTEN TO IT LMAO AND YES I LIKE IT, its a very complex song and it's very layered in terms of emotions i think and i really like that about it. i probably won't listen to it that often, but its really good. i would recommend this song to my "older brother" bc he would just absolutely love this

shut up - i was taking this song seriously (also very good) until i heard him say shu-T up LMAO, this one is good, i probably wouldn't listen to it 24/7 like rachael's little brother but honestly its still fire

before listening to blinded by your grace and vossi bop, i know you brought up the religion bit, i definitely don't mind that, especially because i'm Christian lol and i actually liked that he brought up God in some of his songs like idk i just like it🥰🥰

(i then went to bed after that lol but first thing in the morning i listened to superheroes and... that song is probably my favorite tbh, i was gonna write MORE quotes that i loved from it but, yeah no there's too many. if you want i'll tell you lmao but this is already so long i would just be quoting the whole friggin song)

VOSSI BOP IS A BOP (lol) I CANT EVEN LIE, i love a song that hypes up a dude's girl so the line- i love that my phone decided to fail to load the lyrics, lemme google it, okay the lyric "looking at my girl like what a goddess" i was like AYEEE its honestly just really good. and no one in america says "sauce" like "i've got the sauce" but now i do (thanks to love island and Nas from last season) and now stormzy so (also im gonna watch the music video for superheroes bc it looks great so 😛)

(because this is already so long i feel like i shouldn't finish the rest but . no i'm gonna do it)

now for blinded by your grace pt2 idk why i’m nervous lmaoo PAUSE I'M NOT EVEN DONE WITH THE SONG GIRL THIS SONG IS *chefs kiss* no words, speechless PHEW y'all gon make me start jumping around. why did i not know about stormzy before, he is amazing i- ok yeah i finished the song, all i have to say is that Stormzy is immaclucate. period. i am literally sending his music to all my friends he is..... amazing

you want my song recommendations 🥺🥺 hmm uh okay lol i listen to a lot of old music, whitney houston, marvin gaye, queen, celine dion, i love "more than words" by extreme uhmm okay, but for actual music i listen to on the daily? (this is a lot of different music like.... they do not go together lmao so be prepared) a song about being sad by rex orange county, betty by taylor swift and lover by taylor swift and... most of that album lol, treasure by bruno mars lmao, OOOO and versace on the floor by bruno as well, lazybaby by dove cameron, creep by tlc has been on repeat lol, deja vu by olivia rodrigo (i saw what you said about drivers license and AGREED LMAO but i like deja vu a lot more haha) and two albums that i listen to in general, rare by selena gomez and ungodly hour by chloe x halle 🥰 you don't have to listen to all of them or any of them lol but that's a sense of what i'm into :) so basically everything haha, i'm into literally every single kind of music really so i wasn't too surprised that i enjoyed stormzy :’)

HAHASBSJHAHA your h20 story cracked me up,, like "wow these actors are so dedicated, learning german just for us" 😭 the beauty of overdubbing

once again, math and maths, in my mind maths makes sense because its mathmatics, but saying maths doesn't feel right to me lol, like if i said maths i feel like everyone would look at me like ??? and yea i was taught it as math so its just more natural for me. but yes math/maths is disgusting, easily one of my least favorite subjects so .

mkay. i- the first time i read this i could not contain my laughter when you said the only pollen you know is sex pollen LMAOKOOSHBABJFAJF STOPPP I'M EVEN LAUGHING WRITING THIS,, anyway. wow! that's interesting, my dad (<<< mostly anything else) gets migraines from the sun and the heat and stuff, yesterday (sunday, i was outside for like hours watching my brothers play football, the american kind lol) i was in the sun for like ever and i got a headache😔

summer clothes🥲 i need to go shopping fr fr. for my birthday my mom and dad got me a giftcard like dedicated to a shopping spree and we've yet to go so..... i should bring it up to my mom lol, but!! i went bra shopping (ended up returning literally all of them cuz they honestly didn't work for day to day work? its a long story) and if i could i would walk around in this new "summer bra" i got, i would. it's so fricking cute and its really light fabric (which isn't perfect for my nipples but still) so i don't get hot in it, but that bra and some shorts would be perfect. its the closest thing to being naked so

IS THE BIRD STILL BOTHERING U ARIA, TELL ME NOW ISTG, i laughed really hard that the bird isn't stupid and is really trying to torture you LMAOO like i was rolling, it wants you to suffer, badly

when you said "mensus" it was still close to mens!!! latin speaking queen 😌😌

okay STORYTIME i was reading back your response and started (fake) crying bc i love you lol and my youngest brother (daniel) gon say "oh man, catherine's crying about something we don't care about, again" I--- i swear when i tell you about them they sound awful, but they aren't that bad, just the stuff i say about them is sounds really mean LMAO

but the thing you said about being kind, same, what i always say is: don't be the person that makes people say "i hate people" ya know? like there's no reason to be a jerk or anything.... but its true 🥺🥺🥺🥺 you are really kind and every time i talk to you i would like to personally fly to germany and give you a hug 💖💕💞💗💓💝💖💘

& i'm gonna show my stretch marks some love bc of you 🥺😭 i really hate how men have basically everyone conditioned that you can't love your own body </3 fuck them, y'all beautiful :')

also thanks for what you said :')) you literally are the kindest, sweetest person i think i've ever spoken to and i love you 🥰🥺🥲💓💗

READING YOUR TAGS HAHAHHAHA the spelling errors makes everything so much funnier. once again, i like your german lessons & yea!! i'm gonna play sims after writing this hahah

#catherine's tags are back #i don't think i've told you my name before?? #anyway it's catherine🥰🥰🥰 #i'm typing this on my computer (without emojis) and if i didn't edit this you would be reading shit shite like #heartface and pout and cry LMAO #yeah abt the tattoos #some stuff with my parents i'm like deal with it??? lol #my mom tells me "if there's something you enjoy or you like but i don't have the same opinion on it... why would my (my mom's) opinion matter? #and i love that #like i'm not gonna go and do whatever i want #but if my mom doesn't like that i swear (which isn't true just an example) #its like okay.... #but whatever #and your tattoo ideas sound really cute!! #and yeah @ your parents, i mean you aren't getting something wild #and the tattoo album>>> #i'm gonna look up ariana's butterfly tattoos just so i know what you mean lol #but i'm guessing you don't want something so incredibily simple, but not super like over the top? #correct me if i'm wrong lol #LMAO the tags were in order don't worry ! #and yeah lol ily2 <33 #and once again, again, sorry for this post JSHJS ITS A MESS AND LONG AS HELL #and you don't need to go in order of my post its literally longer than your german compound words #u're fine #also !!! while writing this the birds were chirping outside and i was like 😳 #and one of your fics (i’ve read all of them, i don’t remember lol) that valentine’s day one where y/n had lingerie on (the pancake one lol) #inspired me to buy lingerie #like when i look back on me “growing up” #that fic & basically you lol really helped with that #that made no sense and i don’t know how to make it make sense... but... yeah. like ily

hiiiiiiiiiii <3333

Dear catherine, 😌

(you have said your name before, but it wasn‘t like an introduction or anything i think you were talking about .... was it possibly the incident at the cinema??? And you said something like ‘calm down catherine‘ like you were telling yourself to calm down idkd dkdkkdkd anyway i didn‘t mention it cause i wasn‘t sure if it was an accident or not dkdjd but now i know 😌❤️ Catherine is such a cute and lovely name btw omg and so are your brothers‘s names 🥰

Sorry that I‘m answering this so late, it‘s been an emotional rollercoaster for me since last week but i‘ll get to that in a second lol

Sksklssk girl i haven‘t played sims in like 2 weeks now ekejdkdlldld ok that‘s not that long at all actually but i keep wanting to play but then i end up not playing for whatever reason, so no news about my sims game 😔 but i love the names Liam and Peter and for twins!!! That sounds really nice actually

okay i‘m trying to answer your ask in chronological answer even though i wanted to wait for the depressing stuff and write it at the end or something OKAY so. i thought that i‘d feel so good when i start uni and that i‘ll like... have a purpose in life again and just be happy (cause in the last year i didn‘t do much and i was depressed like half of the time lol).... anyway i kind of feel even worse now? 😭 i think it‘s because in my brain it‘s like: university!!! that means your life will change and it‘ll all be so exciting. and don‘t get me wrong it is exciting butttt..... idk the online thing is so weird cause you‘re not meeting any new people (i‘m introverted anyway but still lol) and it doesn‘t feel like you‘re listening to/talking to actual people cause it feels the same as just watching a video?

also i thought i‘d be busy again but i only have one lecture (90mins) a day and theres one day where i dont have any lectures at all and just one day where i have 3 hours but.... idk i mean i shouldn‘t complain about having so much free time but i just don‘t know what to do all day and in a pandemic there really is nothing to do but i also can‘t relax bc it‘s like during the week and i know i have uni the next day and .... yeah.

There‘s also this one assignment i had to do that took me AT LEAST SIX HOURS AND IM NOT EVEN EXAGGERATING????? so that was the only thing i‘ve been doing besides “going to“ lectures. for this one course we have to read two (really really long) texts (like it literally took me 3 hours to read them) and we‘re supposed to post it on this website that all the professors in our uni use. So after 5 days of anxiety (✌🏼) i posted mine this morning bc last night i realised that i didn‘t even know why i was having anxiety so i just posted mine today. The deadline is tomorrow at 12 and no one except me has posted theirs yet........ so i have anxiety again 🥰 cause idk if i‘m the only one who did it or if i even did it correctly

Edit while i‘m rereading this: my anxiety about uni is a lot better and i‘m not as d*pressed anymore maybe it was just hormones? idk but i‘m better so that‘s good

(I started writing this like 5 hours ago and then i randomly completely forgot lol)

I‘m in a better mood now though so let‘s move on from that (oh wait also, i think i‘m gonna see if i can find a psychiatrist bc with my anxiety symptoms (long story) i need to go to a psychiatrist, and so far i‘ve only gone to like psycholgists and it didn‘t help but i think that‘s just bc i was meant to go to a psychiatrist and not a psychologist so dldjdjsj

n e ways but yes you‘re not alone, ily, things will get better and yes i love you (i‘m not good at this type of thing🥲 but i‘d hug you right now if i could <3)

Yess i think the time difference between est and me is 6hours but gmt is uk time i believe? i think mine is called.... cet? For central european time? I could be completely wrong though lmao

Oof i completely forgot about hollywood, i remember when laura kept posting about it on instagram but i never actually watched it and i definitely won‘t now lmaodkdksjsn

Okay my driving lesson LEBDJDKDK I DID NOT HOOK UP WITH ANYONE AKSJSKSMMLM especially not my 40 or 50 year old driving instructor lol i like her but NOT LIKE THAT, the lesson was really really really good actually and i think i‘ll have my driving test soon, but i don‘t even remember why the anon would have thought that??? Oh wait now i remember okay KEKSKDLDL so during the lesson my instructor was like do you mind if i turn on some music? AND THIS WOMAN TURNED ON ONE DIRECTION I LOVE HER so i made a post about it and i said something about the song up all night and i guess i phrased it in a .... idk in a dumb way 💀 so the anon made a joke that i stayed up with my driving instructor all night and NO. No.

Wait did i read that right? YOU WERE ARIEL ON STAGE? SIALDBDJDKSLMSBDKDMDMDKDJSLSMDJFJJEDMBFEKLEFBJDLDVSIDLESKSKWKDKDJDOWNYUEKWNDUWLNSUFLWVSUDLEHDOENSIDBEISBEHENJELBSIEMWUDNRIW KB WOBE JO ON SBEUU HIII S HWS LV W ICH US KB okay this keyboard smash is getting out of hand but uh please do elaborate on that 💘😌???? Like you can‘t just drop that information and not say more??? I forgot if you‘re in like your school‘s drama group (is that a thing? lol idk anything about acting) or in an independent group? Either way - ARIEL that is so fucking cool

Your brothers loooooool, no i get it though obviously you love them and stuff but esp at their age children are so annoying so good luck with them 😭😭😭lmao

Yeah “anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌“ yeah just me and my parents who constantly fight 🥰 lmao no i like being an only child, like i cannot imagine having siblings but i feel like if i had siblings i would be saying that i can‘t imagine being an only child so? but i do think it‘s quite different like i‘m trying to imagine having siblings and WHAT that‘s just so different omg i‘ve never really thought about it like properly ???

I saw a tik tok the other day that was like “sometimes i forget that my siblings have a life of their own. like i see them as side characters in my life“ and even though i can‘t relate obviously i felt that. lol, like i can really imagine how it feels idk what i‘m talking about like shut the fuck up, daria

(also my actual name is daria not aria but i dont like it, and also i wanted to be more anonymous on tumblr so now i‘m aria lmao. pls don‘t mention it though cause no one knows except for you and mel (peterbenjiparker) dkdkdkdnkdnd. but i‘m starting to identify with the name cause everyone keeps calling me that looool😭😭😭 (but i like the name, more than daria anyway? well it also depends on the accent, cause the way germans say daria is okay. the was Americans say it is also okay, but some of my family in England are from the north of england and i don‘t like how they say my name 💀 no offence to them(?) but yeah pls don‘t mention the name in your ask cause the chance of people seeing it is higher then (or if you want to say something about it just send a separate ask and i just won‘t post it (IDK what you‘d want to say about my name but yeah just in case slsldlldmsndnsns)

I‘m loving falcon and winter soldier so much but when i was watching an episode the week before last week (?) my laptop broke😭😭😭😭 during the scene where the dora milaje came at the end my laptop just shut down? And it had these lines all over the screen and i had to bring it to the shop where i bought it and they said it‘ll take 6-8 weeks to repair 💔💔💔 but at least it‘ll be for free, cause if i brought it back to apple it would cost like 400€ (i think that‘s nearly 500$) so yeah. but it sucks cause now i‘m “going to uni“ on a really old rusty laptop and on my phone which kinda sucks. oh yeah and also i can‘t watch anything on there 😭 i definitely want to watch wandavision but it‘ll have to wait🤧

Yessss you should def get your GED! I googled and I‘m still not entirely sure what it is dldks but from how you described it- YES!!!!!!

Idk if you know this? Like no idea if I‘ve told you this already (hmmm wait i feel like we talked about it actually?) anyway i was originally gonna go study in England, but for loads of reasons I ended up staying in Germany and I‘m def happy with my decision, but I definitely want to go to England sometime even if it‘s just for six months or maybe for my masters or something? And (obviously everyone is different) but i think everyone should go abroad and live in a different country once in their life, no matter if it‘s for school or what, and even if it‘s just for a few weeks. But i think that‘s something that you‘d never ever forget! And combining that with your acting/theatre??? You really would be living the dream 💘💘😌

how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?— sounds good see you soon 🥰🥰🥰

i used to be one of the people who‘d just do motherlode motherlode motherlode and just... what did i do? Why did i do that??? But not anymore lol. Like I said i haven‘t played sims in a few weeks but i‘ve been watching a few legacy challenge let‘s plays and usually i play with the aging off. So my sims just don‘t age 💀 but i could (should) turn aging on so that it stays exciting and i have limited time and everything. and once i get bored with my current sims i can just make them have kids and continue playing as their children when they get older- like recently i remembered that i haven‘t played the acting career in ages? and i haven‘t had a shop in ages? and i think you can even become a vet right??? like those are definitely some things i want to do in the next weeks!!! Also yes sksksjs i have a few hundred hours on sims as well (if not thousands 😭) it was just that one household that i‘d been playing with for 24hrs

AND GIRL SSKSKJD THE UNIVERSITY THING HAPPENED TO ME TOO, it was a while ago so i don‘t remember what degree and what job it was about but i made my sim study something for aaaaaages so she‘d get a better job from the beginning (you know what i mean like get in at a higher level)...... and i apparently studied the wrong thing cause i didn‘t get any benefits from studying and still had to start at level 1 and shit 🥴🥲

Oh also (this was like 2 weeks ago) Enisa and Michael did take in Michael‘s daughter and i think Enisa currently even has a higher/better relationship with the daughter than Michael but um💀💀💀 also i was hoping (since michael and enisa married (in their back yard i think lol) that the daughter (i forget what her name is😭) would have enisa as her step mom? Like you know how you can see the relationship and it says daughter or son or sister.. and i was hoping that it would say step mom but it doesn‘t say anything 🥲 but in my mind (and if the sims had proper family relations) she is her step mom😌 also Leo is a teenager now???? I mean I aged him up lol dkdk he was being too annoying as a toddler but i don‘t like children so i aged him up twice in one day and now he‘s a teen, but that means he can look after his half sister when she becomes a toddler which is good (the game recognises them as siblings tho even if they‘re just half siblings? why can‘t they have step family members in the sims🥲) okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

I‘ve been a bit sick these past few days and now i‘m getting a headache so i have to finish this response tomorrow 😭😭😭 </3

It‘s not tomorrow, it‘s 3 hours later but i‘m better lol

oooff when sims are ungrateful and won‘t woo woo (lol i like that) cause they‘re too tired like?? Be grateful that you‘re not living with your parents anymore 🙄 no okay dkdkdkdl idk if you play with mods (i don‘t) but i know there is a mod (or it‘s part of a mod idk maybe wicked whims?) where you can adjust the percentage of how risky a normal woo woo is, like you still click woo woo (3dksksks okay i‘ll say woohoo again— wait is that what’s it called? 😭) but there‘s like a 25% chance that your sim can still get pregnant just like in real life there‘s always a chance of getting pregnant even if you‘re using protection (just not 25% lmao) but yeah i personally don‘t play with mods sksk and you can always just click try for baby but it would be cool if you could add stuff like risky woohoo to the game without mods (i have no idea how to download mods and i play sims on a really really old laptop and sims is literally tje only thing that works on it anyway so—) i repeat my words from earlier: okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

okay i‘m so sorry i‘m gonna watch fast & furious 1 now cause i need to watch f&f 1-5 until the 30th of april cause they‘re only on netflix til then (i mean i could watch them somewhere else but the quality is never as good) so i will finish this tomorrow after all😭

it is now 1 am, i finished the film, can feel a new obsession coming up again (i always have these f&f obsessions for six months before and after a new film comes out)

THE GOOGLE TRANSLATE wkekdjdj tbh it sounds like someone is speaking with some kind of foreign accent i guess that‘s probably because it just is a direct translation and so anyway slsjsj i don‘t know if you asked me what the word fucking is in german? like idk cause the translation is a bit weird but in case you asked lol sidjsjs theres not really a good translation like we just say fuck for fuck lmao, i don‘t know if you typed in fucking in google translate and it came out as verdammt? cause that means damn (or damned sksjjs) ummm yeah idek if/what you asked so imma move on🤧

I‘m not gonna comment on what you said about every stormzy song cause you already said all the important things but SKSKSJSJSKNSNDBDUDOENWBSLSKKHSULSLSKSBSJSKSK I WAS SMILING SO HARD WHEN I READ YOUR RESPONSE FOR THE FIRST TIME BECAUSE AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH finally i know someone who loves him as much as i do 💘💘💘 also since you brought it up, i‘m pretty sure he‘s considered the most successful UK rapper or if not then at least top 3 so he‘s defffffffffinitely big in the uk, in germany more and more people are listening to uk rap too but not as much stormzy cause theyre dumb apparently 🙄 but anywY i‘m sooooo sooo happy that you like him. i think hith came out end of 2019 (i could be wrong but i think it came out on the 13th of december so (in a european way) you‘d write the date: 13.12 and obviously i don‘t KNOW this but i can definitely imagine that he chose that date because ACAB and yes, Michael. Yes. But he hasn‘t made too much music since then so i hope he‘s working on some new stuff 🤞🏼

Also i ordered the stormzy poster😌 also a nicki minaj one bc i decided i‘m gonna have one wall with red-ish posters (i already have two kinda red ones) and one with blue/green-ish posters (already have two) and i can add stormzy to the blue one and nicki to the red one, but i think that‘s it cause if my walls are tooo full it could look cluttered? I‘m not sure how that type of thing works lmao but my room is generally untidy so i don‘t want the walls to look unorganised too so i think that‘s it for now

I really want to finish this now but my brain is getting kinda slow and i need to sleep soon so this will have to wait till later after all 🥺🥴 (not that it makes and difference to you bc you‘ll see this whenever i post it buttttt i wanted you to know that i want to talk to you again but with my slow brain i‘m just taking too long to do it in one day😭😭😭 and i‘m so busy tomorrow hmm but i‘m sure i‘ll have 30 minutes to finish this then <3)

Okay wait I‘m so dumb I didn‘t realise I‘d nearly answered everything i could have posted this yesterday 😭😭

Oooohh that summer bra sounds so nice like if i was confident enough i literally would just wear a top that resembles a bra (or really is a bra lol) cause my tiddies always be looking amazing i‘m just insecure about my stomach sometimes 🙄🙄🙄 but recently i‘ve been loving myself more and more tbh 😌

also i hope you can go shopping for some nice clothes soon ✨😌

I‘ll be honest I haven‘t listened to your song recs YET but only because i wanna take my time with them and i‘ve been so busy and slso AJ tracey‘s album came out last week and I haven‘t listened to that one yet either so ekdkdj (he‘s also a uk rapper like quite popular and successful as well, but i feel like i‘m not gonna like his album cause whenever i‘m looking forward to an album it ends up being really bad and the albums where you weren‘t expecting it turn out to be bangers.... so yeah but i‘ll let you know when i listen to your songs!!!! :)

Omg i keep having to scroll up all the way to see the next thing you said so sorry if I completely miss some of the things you said😭😭

So when you sent this the bird was still bothering me oh my FUCK DKDLDMMDMDMD but now i‘ve been going to bed at like 1-2am so the bird is probably still asleep lool

Okay and for the rest of your ask my response is: 💘💖❣️💚❣️💛❣️💛💕💞❤️💓💟💞💕💕💖💘💝💟💟🧡❤️🧡💞💛💚💓💚💚💚❣️🧡💖💘🧡💝🧡💕💘🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🥰🥺🥺💘💘💘💘💘 (okay that looked cuter in my head i don‘t really like the green hearts dldkkdksndnd)

#lovely anon #<3333333333333 #‚‘it‘s literally longer than your german compound words‘ LMAODKDMSLDKSLKS #ignore the comma at the beginning of the last tag????#aww wait i just read what you said at the end of your tags🥺🥺💘💘💘#love youuuu #ooooof i‘m reading my response and do i not know what a period is? like period as in. full stop.#my sentences are literally paragraphs and i use keyboard smashes to separate sentences from each other like what‘s wrong with me???#or ‚lol‘ snd ‚lmao‘#imma need me to do better (did you listen to heavy is the head as a whole? like the whole album? the song do better is stuck in my head toda #today so)#i‘ll try to write normal length sentenced in the future💀#sentencessss*

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neo-frill · 4 years

Text

Rating the walls of a room in my school just because I can:

This place is something like a Study room, it has books and magazines and a lot of tables and chairs and games like chess, 3D tic tac toe, a grid and some bottle caps for normal tic tac toe and a computer. It seems kind of cool to me, it doesn't have a certain aesthetic or like a color scheme, it's just really colorful. Even though the furniture isn't any set or something, it all kinda fits together imo, but I'm not good with this stuff, so maybe it doesn't.

As for the location, it's on the first floor, near the classrooms mainly used for languages (we have cool ones to pick from too, at least for me; all of us speak Czech cause we're Czech, we've got English as the second language and choose a third one after some time, the third one can be French, Spanish, German or Russian, but only two open) and the rooms where the teachers stay when they're free, have consultations with the student etc. (We call them 'kabinety' which sounds like it translates to cabinets but a cabinet is a piece of furniture so idrk what to call them).

First of all, here's kind of a blueprint or whatever, made by me:

The sizes of most stuff is probably incorrect because a) my memory is shit and b) even if I stood there while drawing this, I can't do the stuff where you take something and draw it smaller or bigger but with the same distances and stuff if that makes sense. It's not like a map so up isn't necessarily North (though it could be, I don't have a clue). This is mostly to show where each wall is and how close/far from the main entrance it is and stuff. Let's got then, starting with

Wall 1

Wall one is the worst of them. I know it looks really cool but before you get angry, listen to me. It is cool. That stuff on it are some quotes and poems and stuff, written on papers which are stuck to it (idk if it's glue or if they put it on there when the paint was drying, I literally have no idea). But most of the quotes are a load of crap. Some sound like they're from r/im14andthisisdeep (shit is it spelled 14 or fourteen in it? anyways you get the point), some are just.. dumb. They include "A mask, the only part of their face that people choose." and "What Johnny won't learn, neither will John." (Loosely translated, Johnny being meant as kind of a nickname which you usually call kids and stuff.), "There is only one truth, which is why not everyone can be right." (This one makes more sense in Czech but still kinda bullshit tbh), "A long shadow doesn't necessarily mean greatness." (Also makes more sense in Czech, greatness sometimes having the same word as largeness or whatever). Some are pretty cool, but most are trash. Example of the ones I find cool is: "Dictators ride tigers, scared to come down from their backs. And the tigers are getting hungry." I'm not really sure about what the last part is supposed to mean, if it's that the tigers will eat the dictators or?? but it's a great quote anyways. One of the ones I hate is "Laziness is the key to poverty." or some shit like that. They're mostly by dead Czech (or Czechoslovakian) politicians (noticed at least two ex presidents) or poets. But there was one by a guy who was probably a philosopher, idk, definitely wasn't Czech and to me his name sounded Greek but I don't really know and don't even remember the name of the man, the quote was something about not having friends. Cool design, probably made by students but I don't like most of the stuff that's written there, 6/10.

Wall 2

This is wall 2. I love wall 2. It has really pretty colors and there's bubbles. Radiates good vibes. Very nice. I don't know how to describe it, it's just beautiful and I don't know what more to say. 10/10.

Wall 3*

Wall 3 looks kind of ominous. Not in a bad way (is there even such a thing?) It has mystery/thriller novel vibes. The feet aren't painted, they had to color someone's feet and somehow get their footsteps up to the half of the wall and I think a) that's very cool, b) it would be fun to participate in/watch and c) it's very creative. The color of the floor is my favorite color. I like how the stripes on the "walls" of the hallway are probably supposed to be just striped that are painted on these "walls" but also look kinda 3D until you look at how they connect to the "ceiling." I am also in love with the "lights" and the way they reflect on the "floor." It kind of doesn't match the vibe of the room and looks less colorful somehow even tho there's a lot of colors, but it's neat. 9.5/10

Wall 4*

Wall 4 is my personal favorite, even though it's the smallest. It's very lively, has pretty colors and shapes that look really really cool to me, idk how else to describe it. I just love it a lot. 11/10, would stare at for hours.

[END, that's all of the walls]

*I'm sorry, I didn't realize how bad the photos of Wall 3 and (especially) Wall 4 are. Wall 3 is kinda cut off at the top. Wall 4 is cut off even more and it's blurry. I'll provide better pictures later, if I'm able to.

If anyone actually read this thank you, but why the fuck did you do that? You just wasted your time watching a teenage girl rate her school's walls. Anyways, I appreciate it a lot, because I put a lot of effort into this post (probably way too much). It was fun to do tho. Maybe I'll rate some other random stuff later? Maybe I'll update the ratings of the walls? Who knows.

**just realized that Walls 3 and 4 aren't actually cut off, it just looked that way. Anyways, Wall 4 is still kinda blurry, sorry about that.

#charlie posts #ratings #walls #school #review #wall review

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