#if my married life is not like this song ION WANT IT | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

agendabymooner · 5 months

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SOMETHING HAZY !!! CARLOS S. X FEM!READER (18+)

summary: carlos wanted his wife to let it all out. that’s all.

content warning: smut under the cut (minors dni!), not proofread, use of explicit language, established relationship (married), soft dom!carlos, unprotected sex (pls use protection), creampie, sex as emotional outlet, dacryphilia, reader being in subspace, ion know what i wrote it’s just smut, consider this my fever dream (i have a fever)

recommended song: american by lana del rey (i kinda based it off the vibes of the song)

note: y’all should check out something devoured bc there’s not much jenson button love out there 🤭 this was also an idea i brought up to a moot (@daaiissyyyyy) because we had too much fun recommending songs back and forth enjoy xx

something sinful (smut) masterlist

a - n masterlist

o - z masterlist

the spaniard didn’t usually come home earlier than his wife. his flights back to madrid were usually longer and she worked nearby. so it wasn’t everyday he got to go home and relax in front of the television while he patiently waited for her to get back from her office shift.

what he didn’t expect, however, was the expression on her face when her eyes lit up for a brief moment at the sight of carlos.

it was as if she felt numbness in her system, telling him about her work and how much her boss frustrated her after working for hours on a project she’s dedicated herself to.

it was one of those things that carlos had heard through the nightly facetime call with her. she spoke enthusiastically about her project while she cooked dinner for herself, to which she’d ask about his media duties and how it went for him after.

it wasn’t anything that carlos didn’t welcome; he loved her so much that her enthusiasm and cheeriness were nothing but a part of his everyday life.

so to see her like this— less than optimistic and happy without the verge of crying (which she usually did over the little things), it didn’t sit right with him.

“cariño,” he murmured, stopping her from moving around the kitchen as he pulled her closer to him. pinning her against the counter, she took a deep breath as he asked, “i’m here now. what do you want?”

“i- i-“ she stammered, “i’m okay, carlos.”

“no, you’re not, bebe,” carlos mumbled, kissing her neck before his head moved up and his mouth nibbled at her ear. “i’ve been married to you for years. i know when you’re not okay.”

his breath fanned her skin as he said, “tell me what you want, mi vida. ‘m here for you.”

“i-“ she took a deep breath and murmured, “i just want to let it all out and cry, carlos and i can’t do it.”

out of desperation, she turned around and faced him with a wobbling smile. “i want you to fuck me ‘til i’m crying and- make it all go away, carlos. please.”

with a sweet smile, he tipped her head back and softly kissed her.

“anything to help you out, cariño. let’s get you out of these clothes, hm?”

it was like she was being split into half.

his cock, its girth and length, was no contest to her cunt. carlos could still remember the first time her eyes landed on it as if she was wondering how it would fit into her.

carlos loved the way her eyes would roll back when he managed to fit in snugly, fucking her while being pleased by the way her legs trembled and shook as he continued pounding into her.

but right now, it was all about her. all she wanted was to have an outlet for her emotions. that’s what she was getting.

he watched the way tears fell down her temple as he smiled gently. his smile differed from his actions, thrusting until he completely bottomed out of her and rolling her nipples between his thumbs and index fingers, eliciting a whiny moan from her as she incoherently spoke.

she felt like she was being split into half, yet she wanted him to break her fully.

“‘los, wan’ more,” she whimpered, her eyes shut tight as she whined.

“i know you do, mi vida,” carlos murmured, pounding hard as her toes curled and her heels dug into his hips. “so eager for me.”

“fuck, carlos, please~” she opened her eyes for a moment. carlos saw nothing but haze in her eyes, her thoughts were already driven away from the insanity of her reality at work.

good, carlos thought. all he wanted was to distract her from the stress.

“you look so pretty, mi corazon,” he mumbled, his fingers pulling away from her tits to wipe her tears away. “so, so pretty.”

“te mereces algo mejor, mi esposa,” you deserve better, my wife. carlos continued. “so much more than those people, bebe.”

she was already too fucked out to even consider what he was saying, sobbing as she begged him for more. “carlos, please fuck me harder. i wanna cu- hah~ fuck— please—“

“shh,” he tutted quietly, his fingers now trailing down to rub her clit as she let out a sharp cry. now thrusting harder and faster, carlos moaned at the way her walls clenched around his cock as he mumbled, “so fucking good for me, mi amor. cum for me, bebe.”

her legs twitched and heels dug into his hips as she whined, “gonna cum, ‘los! i’m cumming— ah- hah~”

she felt nothing but euphoria, her vision turning white as she let out a quiet scream. “oh, oh~” she whimpered, feeling him paint her walls white with his pleasure as they both let out choked moans.

carlos’ breath fanned her neck as he gathered his breathing. then, he gently pulled himself out of her. she let out a whine, telling him to continue stuffing her and that she felt empty without his cock inside her.

he stood for a brief moment, watching as her body limped and a mix of her and his pleasure oozing out of her cunt.

with her mind still hazy she murmured, “carlos, want you.”

“i know, mi vida,” he said softly. “i’m just gonna clean you up then we’ll go to sleep.”

“but—“ she sobbed, tears falling down again.

“no more thinking,” he told her gently, yet his words demanded her to listen. he leaned over to press a kiss on her forehead as he mumbled, “not tonight. we’re gonna go to sleep and you’re gonna listen like a good girl, hm?”

she relented, wanting to please him as she nodded. a pout still played on her lips, not happy with his words but regardless she said, “mmm…okay.”

carlos smiled lightly. it was nice to know that she got her emotions out already— she clearly needed that more than anything.

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alaipayuthey · 5 years

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kadhal sadugudu - alaipayuthey

#alaipyuthey #ar rahman #music #ABSOLUte FAV SONG OF ALL TIME #this song will be my wedding song idc #y’all slow dancing for ur first dance??? NOT ME #if my married life is not like this song ION WANT IT

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1-800-hellraiser · 3 years

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Alright Lad how about a yandere David Alphabet you know from Camp Camp

Alrighty! One Yan!David alphabet coming right up! :)

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Yandere Alphabet

Requested by: Sam Clumsy (on Tumblr)

Words: 1,314

Genre: Kinda misc.

Character: David (Camp Camp)

Credit: @mo0nfairy for the Yandere Alphabet prompt!

!Tws!: Y'all already know the drill for Yandere shit

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A - Adventure (What are some things they do with their darling everyday?):

One of the things David loves to do with you most is hiking! The only downside to this is that he has to handcuff you to him so you won't leave him. Ever :)

B - Binoculars (How much do they stalk their darling? How do they go about it?):

Once David first laid his eyes on you, he knew he had to be with you. Whatever. It. Takes. He see's you in public a lot, so he managed to get your schedule for tour usual errands. Such as shopping, going to the laundromat, or even going out to treat yourself. This happens monthly.

C - Color (What color does their love for their darling represent?):

Hot pink. I say this because David's desire for you is sweet, yet passionate.

D - Dream (What is their dream life with their darling?):

Living in a cozy house, married with a dog. David wants something very domestic to hide his demented relationship with you. So he can eventually trick you into thinking this is normal.

E - Eclipse (Do they build a relationship with their darling or hide in the shadows?):

David definitely builds up a relationship. Usually he doesn't rush anything, but you just so happen to be a bit...different. He craves you. So he tries to go as slow as possible.

F - Fracture (How can you severely hurt them?):

If you get scared of him. He doesn't want you to be afraid of him. It hurts his soul when he accidentally makes you cry. He'll most likely give you about an hour to calm down then try to comfort you. He'll most likely cry into you and apologize profusely.

G - Gensis (What will life for their darling be like with them?):

David will try to keep his relationship with you as wholesome and domestic as possible. Of course he'll manipulate you into this sort of normality, he wants you to bend at his whim. He also has rules for you, like no going out without him, always having to introduce a new friend to him as well, etc. If you don't follow these rules, then you'll be punished :)

H - Headcanon (What is a random headcanon about the yandere?):

My headcanon for Yan!David is that he is actually a super unsuspecting yandere. Like, he's nice and chill with everyone around him and you. He never shows his twisted love for you in public or even around you until you two are together. If you asked his co-workers, family, or friends about him being a yandere, they'd say it's impossible with his temperament.

I - Infatuation (When did they first realize they were in love with their darling?):

He realizes it when you meet about the third or fourth time you meet. David's love isn't instant like other yandere's. He has to have time to think it over, you have to be the one he can spend an eternity with.

J - Jack-In-The-Box (How will they capture their darling?):

He'll wait until you move in with him. This is why he insists on you moving in with him, so you can be in his control at all times. That is, unless something else goes down. Like in the Yan!David oneshot, he has a side room in his basement he uses just in case something...not according to plan happens.

K - Knockout (How do they treat people in their darling's life?):

He treats them with the upmost respect. He also subtlety manipulates them, just to make sure not even your closest friends or family members will believe you when you try to leave him :)

L - Lemon (How do they behave with their darling? How do they behave with others? Are they mean or nice?):

Like I mentioned above, David is so nice and charming that people fall for his guise. They will never see him as being a yandere. He's also very nice to you, unless you misbehave.

M - Moonlight (What is their innermost self like?):

Very twisted. He wants you for him and only him. He will do anything, and I mean ANYTHING, to get you to be his.

N - Nurture (How do they care for their darling?):

David is a very physically loving person. He'll usually cuddle you to comfort you, he's also a phenomenal cook. He'll cook you your comfort/safe foods.

O - Oasis (Where would they keep their darling?):

If you met him the natural way, in the house. He'll force you into his room if you've been particularly bad that day. If you meet a different way, in the side room in his basement. You'll probably have to stay in there for a month ir two until he can trust you enough to roam the house. He'll force you to go down there if you're extremely bad however.

P - Police (How will they protect their darling after kidnapping them?):

He'll make you stay in the basement for a month or two before he fully trusts you to be let upstairs into the rest if the house. He will kill anyone that finds out about you in the basement, no one should know about the basement but you and him. It's your little secret :)

Q - Quarter (Would they buy things for their darling? What kind of stuff would they give them?):

He most certainly would buy gifts for you! He probably buys you lots of food and cute stuffed animals. If he knows your interests (which he probably does) he'll buy you everything he can find that relates to that interest. If you mad an Amazon wishlist for things you like, he'd probably find out and buy everything off of it.

R - Ring (How would they propose to their darling?):

He'd probably take you on a vacation to your favorite vacation spot. At sunset on a hike he would propose to you on the top of the hill/mountain you were hiking on. The ring would be a beautiful gold/silver with your birthstone in the middle.

S - Shelter (What measures would they go to protect their darling?):

We already know this man would kill for you.

T - Teddy Bear (How affectionate are they with their darling?):

The most affectionate they can be with you. If you refuse his affection, he will of course be upset, but if he wants you to stay, he has to somewhat respect your boundaries.

U - Utopia (How much effort do they put into making their darling happy?):

David put's in all of his effort. As I mentioned, he will do anything for you.

V - Valentine (How do they act when they were first crushing on their darling?):

He'll act very shy and cute. He will blush if he's around you, he'll stutter when talking to you, etc.

W - Willow (How much freedom do they grant their darling?):

He will grant you very little freedom. You'll be allowed out, but you have to hold his hand at all times. Unless you have to use the bathroom. There is a rare chance that he will let you go out ion your own, but that's when he knows absolutely with out a shadow of a doubt you won't leave him.

X - Xylophone (What song reminds them of their darling?):

Fairytale by Alexander Rybak

Y -Youth (What was life like without their darling?):

He was dead set in finding the one. Lots if lonely nights, one night stands, and blood on his hands.

Z - Zero (What will they fo if they have nothing left?):

David will probably not see a use in life anymore. Without you, he has nothing. He'd probably end it all.

#<33333 #ily <3333 #ilysm <333 #<3 <3 <3 #writing #writers on tumblr #camp camp #camp camp david #david #cc #cc david #yandere alphabet #yandere tw #mentions of murder tw #mentions of suicide tw #david yandere alphabet

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wornoutmouse · 3 years

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Can I request a bakugou x reader quirkless high school au song fic based on the song, " Bad Boy" by Queen Naija (Reader isn't really a 'good girl', but she stays out of problems, keeps to herself, and doesnt like drama. She just has a chill vibe likes listening to R&B shit like that.) please and thank you!💖

Ima tell you this right now. I don’t know how to write a song fic so this is going to be trial and error. Also this song ruined my life, my subconscious learned the lyrics immediately and I only listened to it 4 times. This is not my type of music. I don’t need it in ma brain fam!!

I never really had a bad boy

You know I've always been a good girl

You lived your life as a master in the art of minding your business. Although you were in the one class in the whole school that couldn’t get a break from excitement, you were able to flawlessly blend into the seams. Of course it wasn't on purpose. You just liked to be in your own bubble. You got good grades and didn’t take part in extra curriculars. An excellent background character.

It wasn’t until you were partnered with the class loud-mouth Katsuki Bakugou, that your life started to take a turn for the better.

Crazy how it happened so fast boy

The way you rocking my world

Anyone could easily tell you two were opposing forces like oil and water. But as corny as it was, the connection was immediate. Your first plan was to only speak when needed and drown out the white noise with music. Working silently was obviously a struggle for your partner because the next thing you knew, one side of your hearing was exposed to the buzzing excitement of your class.

“What crap are you listening to extra?” You looked at him blandly, one would be a fool to take offense from anything Bakugou says. You watched his face scrunch together in concentration and you could tell that he liked what he was hearing. For the rest of the class hour, you shared headphones and song interests, and for the first time, Bakugou wasn’t yelling.

Yeah, you're my distraction

Love our connection

He often joined the family for dinner and could even hold fluid conversations with your mother without missing a beat or falling behind.

It didn’t take long for him to even invite you to his own home as well. While your must tastes were similar, home life and house decor were largely different. You found yourself spending hours with his father, gushing over baby pictures of Bakugou, and dinner was quite the spectacle as you watched him and his mother play ping-pong with insults while you enjoyed new Japanese cuisine.

I see so much when I look at you

You got potential

It became a bit of a routine. He would come over your house, your room would be filled with the warm gooey vibes of soul and r&b and you would day dream your worries away. At some point, Bakugou had become a key item to your way of living.

When you two were alone, he surprised you by toning down his brash attitude and seemed genuinely interested in your aspirations. “So when you graduate, you’ll still have to take another 8 years of college plus 1 more of residency?!” You nod as you eat a spoonful of Cinnamon Crunch. “Why are you acting so surprised, you want to be the president.” Bakugou shrugged with a small smirk on his face, “Yeah but that’s plan B.”

Time is essential

But I'ma take my time with you

Cause you need it

It was Thursday and at 5am when Bakugou called you. He was drunk and angry, cursing with every sentence. You quickly went to pick him up in your mom’s car as fast as you could. An upset Bakugou was a menace to society and if he felt that he needed to call you this late, it must be serious.

You just need someone to keep it real with you

And I see that

“Fucking bitch!” He slurred, leaning against your car door. “That’s not nice Bakugou, at the end of the day that’s still your mother.” You focused on the road trying to avoid flinching whenever he randomly got loud. “You don’t understand. She won’t fuking listen, ion what to be a damn lawyer.”

You glance wearily over at him downing the rest of his bottle. “I’m assuming she denied the architect's idea.” “What do you fucking think! Old lady want’s me to “continue the family business” like hell!”

I'ma be the one to plant that seed in you

You don't gotta worry

You sighed and made a sharp turn into a Target parking lot. “What the hell we doin ‘ere?” You park and turn the car off, you knew your mom would kill you if you stayed out too long, but this couldn't wait.

“Katsuki, I’m going to tell you this right here and now. Sometimes adults think they are doing the best for you but they aren’t and you gotta show em that by doing what you think is the best for you and doing it well.”

I won't judge you from your past

I know you're not my first

Bakugou looked at you with slow blinking eyes before scooting closer in his seat. You allowed him to take hold of your face, and didn't look away as his finger rubbed gently along the curve of your lips.

“If you don’t want this….please...tell me to stop.” His face was red, the air was thick and something that was always there, ignited as your lips met.

With drunken strength, he pulls you onto his lap and feels gently along your body as you tug on his lips with your teeth. The car was filled with hormones and heavy breaths as you got more desperate, but not once did he try to undress you. It was him that pulled away first, “What’s wrong?” you asked, out of breath and concerned, but he only shook his head with a wide grin on his face.

“Marry me.

But I'll make sure that you're my last

We live two different lifestyles babyBut we can change that

“Huh?” you laugh breathlessly, not believing your ears. “Marry me.” You feel your heart speed up so much so you could almost hear it. “But we’re so young, Bakugou, are you sure?” Bakugou cards his fingers through his hair with a determined look on his face. “Of course not now! But in the future.” You cross your arms and look down at him, “You're not messing with me are you Katsuki?” He scoffed, “Do I look like I’m joking you damn nerd?”

Just promise not to hurt me

Cause you know I told you that

You hold out a pinky, “Promise me then.” Bakugou jokingly pretends to bite your finger, “Are you serious right now?!” You huff indignantly, “Promise me Bakugou.” He rolled his eyes, “Ooo, pulling out my last name like that. Fine, I’ll be weird with you just this once.”

He holds out his pinky finger and loops it with yours. “I promise that as soon as we graduate, I’ll make you mine.” You share another kiss and watch the sun rise over the large Target building without a care in the world.

I never really had a bad boy

You know I've always been a good girl

Crazy how it happened so fast boy

The way you rocking my world

#black y/n #blackreader #mha #bnha x black reader #bnha #bnha headcanons #song fic #bakugou katsuki #bakugou x male reader #bnha bakugou #bakugou x poc!reader #bakugou x gn!reader #mha fluff #bnha fluff

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retrievablememories · 4 years

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no manners | lucas

title: no manners pairing: lucas x black!reader genre: angst, implied smut request: “Aww thanks✨😊 Hope it’s not too much(I have a wild/creative imagination😌) Could you write a fic where Lucas is married to an African American who lives in America while he’s in China with WayV. One night after a call where Lucas suggests she go out with friends because she’s too lonely, she drinks too much and ends up going home with a stranger. When she wakes up she finds out what she did and a few days later she finds out she’s pregnant 💁🏿‍♀️that being said ain’t do it if it’s weird” word count: 5k warnings: workplace sexism/harassment, infidelity, alcohol use, mentions of intoxicated sex, mentions of pregnancy, emetophobia warning, mentions of blood, medical setting, angst!! just sad shit man a/n: hard to think of a good title, idk. the song’s about a sad relationship so close enough? ion fuck with drake anymore but passionfruit was the soundtrack for this one lol

You wake up in the middle of the night again—you’ve been doing it a lot lately. Your head aches a bit and your throat feels dry. You reach for the bottle of water on your nightstand and drink from it, though it doesn’t make you feel any better.

Pulling the covers back over yourself, you turn towards the empty side of the bed and feel that familiar pain settle in your body again. There are painkillers for physical discomforts, but what do you do for this kind of ache that comes from deep within the heart? You sigh and simply close your eyes, trying to block out the feeling.

It’s been over 3 months since you’ve seen Lucas in person, which might as well be the equivalent of several lifetimes for you. You knew this was going to be inevitable once you got married, and even while you were still in the dating stage you experienced it. But you’re not sure if you could’ve accounted for just how intense it would feel now. It’s different now. You’ve made a home together—are going to have a family someday—and yet you barely get to spend any time together.

Burrowing deeper under the covers, you curl yourself up as small as possible, as if you can squeeze out the pain by leaving no more room for it.

Even work is bland now. You work at a firm for a fairly popular magazine in your city, and although your duties keep you busy most days, even those things are starting to lose their appeal. Your peers certainly don’t help.

“You look like you’ve been going through it,” Your coworker Daniel says over lunch. Your other coworker, Patrice, elbows them in the side for his indiscretion.

Your jaw clenches. You have to make an effort to relax your body and gather your thoughts before responding. The last thing you need right now is to lose your job, although you already know Lucas could support the both of you if necessary. “I’m fine. Just a little sleep deficit, but I’ll live.”

“Don’t mind him,” Sharia says, rolling her eyes. “We all get a little worn out sometimes. I hope things get better for you soon.”

“I’m just pointing out the obvious,” Daniel interjects, holding his hands up in surrender. “Don’t shoot the messenger. Sharia’s right, though; we all know how you’re feeling.” No, you don’t, you think, resisting the desire to scoff in his face. “Work’s been pretty hectic the past few weeks.”

“Yep, real busy,” you say curtly, not wanting to draw this conversation out further. It’s clear that he thinks he’s making some kind of connection with you, despite him knowing jackshit about anything that’s going on in your life. His presumptuousness has always rubbed you wrong.

“Absolutely. Hopefully the big boss will ease up on us soon here.” You think Daniel is done, but then he speaks again, and Patrice puts her head in her hands. “Anyway, how’s everyone’s home life faring from all this? You and the husband doing all alright?” You know that last statement is specifically for you, and it makes you even more weary.

Sharia shifts uncomfortably as if she can feel the tension you’re experiencing. She’s the only one on your job who knows who you’re married to, as you didn’t want to let your other nosy colleagues in on your life. She’s the only one you can trust to keep your business on your front porch where it belongs.

“We’re doing fine,” you say, keeping your voice light. “How are you and your girlfriend?”

“Actually—are you sure you and dear husband aren’t having any problems? You know...of the bedroom variety? Maybe that’s part of why you’ve been so stressed lately.”

“Jesus, Daniel!” Patrice exclaims in disbelief.

“You’re way out of line.” Sharia gives Daniel a warning look. “We’re at work, this isn’t gossip hour. I don’t think you need another HR report under your belt.”

You continue to sit with your hands clasped together, digging your nails into the back of your hand and watching the wall clock count down the minutes until the lunch break ends. Still 10 minutes left. If this were any other setting, any other person, you would’ve cursed Daniel out and likely given him a good backhanding, but he knows you can’t do anything here. And that’s precisely why he does it.

“What goes on in our lives is none of your business,” you say slowly, trying to keep your voice even. “I don’t know where you pull this crap from. You should listen to Sharia.”

“I hope that’s not a threat, because we all know the boss doesn’t care,” Daniel scoffs. “I’m not going anywhere, so you girls might as well get used to it.” Thankfully, he decides to take his leave at this point, collecting the rest of his lunch and stalking back to his office.

Patrice and Sharia exchange looks, and you merely sit and continue staring at the clock, watching the hands count to the next hour. It’s all you can do.

You’re relieved when you step through the front door of your house that night. Or maybe relief isn’t the word for it—but there is definitely a sort of deflation that happens once you pass through the threshold. You feel sapped and tired, and you can only think of scraping together whatever leftovers you can find because you’re too tired to cook a new meal.

As you walk into the bedroom, you remember that you and Lucas are supposed to video chat tonight, and that makes you feel a little better, but not as good as it could. You glance at the empty side of the bed and sigh heavily.

The rest of the evening passes by simultaneously too slow and too fast. It’s almost like the weight of your depression is dragging down the rest of the world and making time flow in a strange, nonsensical fashion. You eat your leftovers, watch bad reality TV, and even try to check a few work emails before your mind drifts off again. You keep replaying the events at lunch and getting upset again, though you don’t want to.

By the time the hour for your video call comes along, you’re curled up on the bed holding your phone tightly, waiting for it to ring and your husband’s name to flash across the screen. You answer almost instantly when it finally does.

“Yukhei,” you breathe out once his face appears on screen. The sight of him is enough to make your eyes sting immediately, and your throat is choked off with tears.

“Y/N!” Even through the phone speakers, his voice is loud enough to fill your room, and your sudden laughter at his excitement is enough to make the tears building in your eyes finally fall down. Lucas leans closer to the screen, his features drawing into a concerned expression. “Oh, shit—Y/N, what’s wrong?!”

You’ve stopped laughing now but the tears keep flowing, and you wipe your eyes futilely. For a while, all you can do is shake your head and keep crying as Lucas coos to you on the other end of the phone, growing increasingly concerned about your emotional state.

You put the phone down to wipe your face, and only then are you able to calm down enough to speak. “I just hate everything.”

Lucas frowns. “What do you hate, baby?”

“This fucking job, I hate Daniel, I hate being talked to like I’m an idiot, I hate…I hate you not being here.” You pick up the phone again. Your head hurts from crying, and you put your forehead in your hand as you look at Lucas on the other line.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I wish I could be there with you. You know I’d kick his ass for you...and anyone else who makes my baby cry.” He sighs and chuckles, though there’s no real humor to it. “Maybe I should kick my own ass too, then. I’m always away from you, and I know that doesn’t help. There are moments everyday when I wish I was there beside you, but…”

“It’s not like you can help it,” you say, and you feel powerless to do anything about it. “You shouldn’t...feel bad about it.” If only you could take your own advice.

“It’s impossible not to.” Lucas’s fingers drift to his wedding ring, twisting it around his finger like he does whenever he’s distressed. It’s become a subconscious thing for him at this point, but you always notice, and it comforts you to know your relationship can be a solace for him. “I have the other guys here, and it helps, but...who do you talk to when you’re feeling alone, besides me?”

“Ugh…” You lean back against the headboard. “No one, really...I don’t want to bother Sharia with my issues. Or my other friends. I feel like everyone already has their own stuff to deal with…”

Lucas leans forward again, as if he’s talking to you face-to-face. “My dear wife, I won’t pretend to be your therapist, but I think I have a prescription for you.”

You laugh and shake your head. “And what would that be?”

“You should go out. Take a few days off from work, leave the house, do whatever. But I really think you need to be around other people.”

“Go out?”

“Yes, with your friends! You’re cool with some people from work—Sharia, at least. Or your college friends, if not your coworkers. Anyone. I don’t want you to be spending all your time alone.” A melancholy note enters his voice. “And since I can’t be with you now, I want you to at least get out without me.”

“I don’t know...”

“What’s wrong?”

“The problem is that I miss you. Going someplace where you aren’t isn’t gonna help.”

“You’re so stubborn,” Lucas says, but his voice is warm with affection. “Just do it for me, please? You don’t think it hurts me to see my lovely wife so upset? I only want you to be happy.”

Your heart warms at that, and you look up at the ceiling, not wanting to start another wave of tears. “Well, okay...you’re right. I’ll try it this weekend. But I’m still gonna be thinking of you the whole time.”

Lucas smiles. He brings his ring finger close to the camera and kisses the band of metal. “For life, right?”

You mirror his actions. “Always.”

The next day, you catch up with Sharia at the copy machine.

“Hey girl, how are you doing?” she asks, feeding more paper into the machine. “Not too bad after what that fool said yesterday, I hope.”

The mention of that leaves a bad taste in your mouth, but you shake your head and pretend to brush it off. “I’m fine, no one’s thinking about that sleaze. I was wondering if you were up for hanging out this Friday? It’s kinda short notice, but me and some friends are planning to go to a club…”

Her eyes light up at that. “Oh? Which club are y’all going to?”

“The one on the same street as that new five-star restaurant that just opened up. Apparently it’s a bit exclusive, but one of my friends claims to have direct connections, so we’re gonna try it out.”

“Oh, to be rich and glamorous.” Sharia laughs. “Sure, I’ll go. I’m always up for some fun. Anything that’s not this damn job.”

“Great! You know where I live, just swing by around 8?”

“Sounds like a plan to me.” Sharia looks like she wants to say something else, but Daniel strolls into the room and she rolls her eyes, quickly turning back to the copy machine.

“Hey ladies, what’s going on?” Daniel leans against the wall as if he plans to pull a long conversation out of you, but you shake your head and walk out.

“Bye, Daniel.”

Sharia follows suit, grabbing her documents out of the machine and not even checking if they’re correct before following you out. “Yeah, not gonna happen.”

The Friday night that you head to the club is unexpectedly hot. It rained hard earlier that day and the air is still thick with humidity, which makes you grateful you’re gonna be spending most of your time indoors. Your friend’s connections come in to save the day, just as she promised, and your group of five is soon standing in the club without having to wait in a hot line all night.

Your friend leads everyone over to the VIP section and you all sit down, marveling at the club’s sleek interior. Everything is all glitter and glass and steel, giving the building an almost futuristic look.

“We need some drinks, there’s no way I’m spending all night in a club like this sober,” one of the girls suggests. The others agree and spend a few minutes playfully arguing over which drinks would be best to get before standing up.

Your friend notices you’re still sitting down. “Are you two coming with, or do you want us to order for you?”

“Just order something for me, doesn’t matter what it is,” you say, waving your hand. Sharia agrees. She waits until the others leave, then turns to you with a serious look.

“You should quit.” You stare at her, wondering if maybe you’ve misheard over the loud music.

“Quit? My job? Do you hate having me around that much?” you joke, though you feel confused and a little hurt.

“Now you know—what I’m saying is, we both know who your man is. I think you would be fine if you just quit and started looking for another job or even stopped working for a while. There’s no reason why you should have to stay there and keep putting up with Daniel’s shit.”

You don’t hate the idea. It’s one you’ve thought of numerous times before, but you’re not confident about taking the first step towards it. “I don’t think it’s that simple...having a job keeps me busy. I’d probably die of boredom if I didn’t have work. And anyway, I’m not really ready to be a housewife...especially considering that my husband isn’t even there half the time.” Your mood drops a little when you think of this. Sharia notices and tries to pull you back before you lose steam before the night even starts.

“Hey hey, it’s just a suggestion! You don’t have to do anything except whichever choice will be easiest for you. I’m just trying to look out for you girl, God knows no one wants to be harassed on the job everyday.”

“I hear you. But I don’t want to think about this anymore,” you groan.

When the other girls come back, you take your drink and immediately down half of it in one go. You need something to distract you from the bad mood attempting to creep up on you.

“Well damn, okay! Someone’s eager!” you friend shouts, and everyone else laughs.

The rest of the night goes similarly, quickly spiraling out of your hands before you can really realize it. The alcohol makes you unable to think about any one thing for too long, which is what you want—maybe even need. You lose track of how many drinks you have and how many songs you dance to. All you can feel is the burning in your throat and the blissful emptiness of not having to think, worry, or stress. For once.

At some point, someone’s hands are on your body and you think maybe it’s one of your friends, but none of them would touch you like this—or kiss you like this. It’s not Lucas either, it can’t be because he’s still in China isn’t he? but you want it to be Lucas, it should be Lucas, so you return the kiss anyway, and there’s more touching and feeling—

until you end up in someone’s car, a taxi maybe, it’s not the car you came in but that doesn’t matter either, just the hands and the sensation of it all, of being touched by a person other than yourself when you haven’t felt it in a long time—

and maybe if you close your eyes for long enough it will be him.

The first thing you notice is the splitting sensation in your head. You don’t remember how you got into your bed or how much you had last night, but you haven’t experienced a hangover like this since your college years, so it must’ve been a lot. You groan and bring your hands to your head, also noticing that your bonnet is nowhere to be found. You must’ve been really wasted last night.

You reach for the water on your nightstand, but it’s not there. In fact, nothing’s there. Your hand meets air, and you suddenly feel slightly alarmed—where’s your nightstand? You finally crack one eye open only to see a room entirely different from the one in your home.

You jolt up, which only makes your head throb harder, but you can’t be bothered with that right now when you’re in a strange place. Pure panic explodes in your chest as you look to the side and see a strange man sleeping next to you in bed—his bed. You can only see his top half, but you can assume he’s naked underneath, as you are equally nude.

“Fuck, no,” you blurt out. You throw the covers back and move as fast as you can to collect your strewn clothes, not really caring if you wake the man up at this point. You just know you’ve got to get the hell out.

You pull your clothes on and dial for an Uber on your phone, sprinting out of the bedroom just as the man starts rustling in the bedsheets. You realize his place is some sort of luxury apartment, which means he’s probably one of the many famous or semi-famous men who frequents that club. That idea makes you panic more as you unlock the door and run out of it; you don’t have the patience to wait on the elevator, so you take the stairs two at a time.

You’re full-on shaking by the time you get to the bottom and end up outside on the sidewalk. Some people passing by give you sideways glances at your presumed Walk of Shame, with you still wearing your club outfit, but there’s no room to think about their judgment. You’re too busy being eaten alive by your conscience.

The ride home is mostly silent. Your driver tries to strike up a conversation at first, but they realize you’re in no state to talk and leave you to your thoughts. With your hangover, the sun’s brightness feels like nails stabbing into your skull, but the pain gripping your heart still manages to be worse.

Your wedding ring feels especially heavy on your finger, like solid lead weighing you down. You badly want to take it off, but you also don’t want to remove one of the few things tying you to Lucas right now. The conflict tears you apart. You almost feel like your ring has become a sentient thing, burning your skin and pinching your finger with the threat of cutting it clean off.

You scrub yourself for what seems like an hour after you get home. When you finally get out of the shower, you end up in the armchair in your room, sitting in your towel and simply staring at the bed. Lucas’s side of the bed. The side of the bed where a picture of you two sits framed on the nightstand, one you took on the day of your wedding shoot. It seems to mock you now, saying, Look at what a good thing you had. Look at what you’ve destroyed.

The ring burns again.

Monday feels surreal in a sickly way.

You don’t call or text anyone over the weekend—not even your friends who are worried and demanding answers for what happened at the club. You feel like maybe you shouldn’t be, but you’re angry at their demands; why didn’t anyone stop you if they were so concerned? Weren’t they all there, too? Either way, it’s too late to think about “what ifs.” What’s done is done. You don’t want to talk or think about it anymore. But that’s impossible.

Stepping into work doesn’t feel real. No one knows anything except Sharia. All your colleagues still greet you like you’re the same person, the same hardworking employee and loving wife they all know. It’s better that they don’t know, but in some irrational way, this also makes you angry. Don’t look at me like that. Don’t treat me like I’m the same person. My life is ruined; nothing can ever be the same.

Nevertheless, you interact with them all like it’s any other Monday and play along with their tired banter even when you want to scream to the world that none of this matters. You do a decent job of avoiding Sharia during the first half of the day, occupying your time with assignments and then creating busywork when you finish those.

Until lunch. Then there’s nowhere left to run.

You go to your car with the excuse of picking up your food today—even though you don’t intend to do anything but sit in the parking lot—and no one questions it but her. She follows you outside. You don’t even have the energy to tell her no. You’re at least glad that she doesn’t speak until both of you are safely in the car and away from other ears.

“Are you okay?”

“I don’t know if that matters,” you say blankly.

“Well, it does. You might have made a terrible mistake, but you’re still human.”

“There’s no way to be okay after this. Sharia, what the fuck am I gonna tell him?”

“There’s nothing you can tell him but the truth. He deserves to know that much, at least.”

“I can’t do it.”

“Y/N, it’s better to get this over with sooner than later. It’s only going to hurt worse if you wait. What would you do anyway, just ignore his calls?”

You grip the steering wheel. “...Maybe. If I have to. I don’t know.”

Sharia sighs. “I can’t tell you what to do with your life. But he will need to know at some point.”

“He’ll hate me,” you blurt out, a tear already rolling down your cheek. You try to stop them from coming, but this is the first time you’ve allowed yourself to cry since it happened. You’ve surprised even yourself with how long you avoided this part. The dam has no choice but to break, sending you into a cascade of tears as you rest your head on the steering wheel.

Sharia’s arms are warm around you, but her embrace does nothing to make you feel better. You feel as if you don’t deserve this kind of reprieve from her. And certainly not from Lucas.

A couple weeks later, you sit in your OBGYN’s waiting room, your body stiff with fear and anxiety.

You haven’t talked to Lucas in the entire time since you went to the club that Friday night. You know there is no way he’d go that long without talking to you, though—which is why you blocked him on every avenue you could think of. To be safe, you also blocked all of this group members, making sure there would be no way for him to get into contact with you.

You feel like you’ve lost your mind with the lengths you’ve gone to—what if he thinks you’re kidnapped or dead?—but you’re more afraid of facing him. The thought of looking in his eyes while your transgression swims in the back of your mind makes your stomach pitch to the floor.

And you would like to think that’s the only thing making you sick these days. But you can’t ignore the odd pains and nausea and sudden spotting even if you wanted to. It’s what has landed you in this doctor’s office today, with your hands tucked between your knees and your head spinning as you try to ignore the bitter taste of bile rising in your throat.

Eventually, you can no longer push it back, and you go to the bathroom to empty your stomach—even though there’s not much there to begin with.

When you leave the restroom, a nurse is standing outside in the lobby, her expectant eyes landing on you.

“Mrs. Wong?”

“That’s me,” you say weakly.

“Hi! Come on back so we can get your vitals. I hope you’re doing okay today…” You follow her into the back rooms to get poked and prodded, your blood pressure and temperature taken and your height and weight jotted down on a chart. You don’t pay much attention to what she’s saying. Every word sounds like it’s being filtered through a foggy telephone.

You return to reality when she hands you the transparent cup and the pregnancy test to take, and things become even more painfully clear when another nurse comes in to take your blood. You know the blood test results will take longer to come back, but you requested it anyway. You have to be sure.

Despite the nurses’ cheerful demeanor, you feel cold and isolated when you use the test in the small restroom. The feeling only worsens when the doctor confirms the reading and happily shakes your hand, unaware of or unwilling to acknowledge your dread.

It’s positive.

That weekend, you finally unblock Lucas. Your mind is in a tangle while you do it, but you can’t avoid him any longer.

You don’t know if he’ll even answer your call. You wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t. Maybe he’s busy with practice or even asleep. But what makes you feel worse is that you know he’d never ignore you if he wasn’t otherwise occupied.

His name only stays on your phone for a few seconds before he’s immediately picking up the video call, his face suddenly appearing in full color before you. He seems panicked, almost dropping the phone in his haste to answer it. When he rights the screen again and sets it on a steady surface, his expression is difficult to decipher. Then it turns into pure discontent.

“Do you have an explanation for this?” You’ve never seen Lucas this irritated before, and it makes you tremble. It can only get worse from here. “I called and texted and nothing got through. I look on your social media and I’m blocked on every platform. What is this, Y/N?”

You can only shake your head. The words are stuck in your throat. You chew the inside of your cheek, unsure how to respond.

“This isn’t a joke, Y/N. What’s going on?”

Your grip on the phone tightens as your stomach ties itself into a knot. You feel sick again, but you can’t throw up now. “Yukhei, I went t-to the doctor, I-I’m pregnant.”

Lucas pauses, and various emotions flit across his face in the span of a few seconds. His eyebrows draw together in something akin to confusion and hurt. “You’re...pregnant? Why the hell did you need to block me for that? Please don’t tell me this about my career again. Baby, listen to me—”

“Yukhei, I’m only 4 weeks.”

Lucas’s words drop off completely. His body stills, and for a moment you wonder if the video has paused. Your palms sweat and your skin prickles. He sits back in his chair and looks off to the side as if he’s trying to gather words. Finally, he says,

“What are you telling me? Because this isn’t what I’m hearing, is it? This is some kind of prank, right?” His voice gets louder and more frantic towards the end, though he struggles to keep from outright yelling at you. “If you want to play games, this isn’t funny.”

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, baby, I’m sorry. There’s nothing I can say—there’s no excuse for it, but I was drunk, I-I was lonely, I just don’t know—” You form a fist with your left hand, digging your nails into your palm, and the warm metal of your ring against your skin threatens to burn you again.

Lucas lowers his head and pushes his hands through his hair. He keeps his head down like this for a while as you stumble and try to explain yourself, your words devolving into barely decipherable sobs.

“Shut up. Just shut up!” His words are muffled from him covering his face. He’s never talked to you like that before, which makes you want to cry more, but you don’t say another word. “I just don’t want to hear it. I’ve sat here everyday and thought of you, counting down days until I could come back to the U.S. to see you, and this is what you give me.”

You merely sit and listen with your heart trying to burst in your chest. His words feel like knives being thrown at you; the pain is practically physical.

When he finally takes his hands away from his face and looks up, his eyes are wet and red with tears. “This is impossible. I need time to think about this.”

“I-impossible? Wait, Yukhei—”

He hangs up the call before you can finish speaking, though you aren’t sure what more you could’ve said to him anyway.

With nothing but your screen staring back at you, a sense of unease seeps into your body and makes your limbs stiff. You want to reach out for him, want to make him see that you never intended to hurt him this way. You don’t want to lose everything you’ve built this soon. And yet, you can already see it all slipping through your hands.

You are more alone than ever.

73 notes · View notes

katcarter-316 · 3 years

Text

“ in my feelings ” // few days ago my dumbass decided to listen to drake on his birthday. i ended up writing to few of his songs but this one stayed n hit me in my core of repressed emotions. good, bad n ugly. i’m thankful for each of them n able to write ab things as a form of reflection, release, n healing. to my twin flame, my soulmate n my karmic partner. i love u.

————

kat in them feelings

repressed emotions

chillin, sippin

ima be real w it

write it out, heal n deal w it

do i love u? why i’m writing?

all this poetry, i notice we

ain’t vibing

but i love ya

i don’t need ya

i’m still down for ya, always

do u love me, are u riding?

u ain’t ever gonna find another like me

n u know that

but don’t show that

still i’m down for ya, always

share a mind share a soul

but u knew that

always here, where ima go?

tho sometimes u abuse that

take it for granted, take advantage

but i get thru that

u once been abandoned

granted—

i ain’t one to do that

yet i understand it

but i still get confused at

times i miss ur call, still i call u right back

when u hit my line, still i hit u right back

u leave me on read, when u know ion like that

but i still wait for u to write back

so i can ignore u, n gain the power right back

we had so much baggage

but we still tried to carry on

runnin’ from our issues like a fuckin marathon

things that i share with u

i do not share with anyone

meaning our story

mama’s having us at 40

the rest, ima leave

rest in peace, yeah u know..that one

i can write about it for centuries

our story’s for the books

work in progress, yet a master piece

our story’s for the books

but i’ll end it here, i love u

back into the hook

kat in them feelings

repressed emotions

chillin, sippin

ima be real w it

write it out, heal n deal w it

do u love me, are u riding?

treat me sometimes like a side piece

but i love ya

i don’t need ya

but i’m down for ya, always

we share a path, share some planets

we ain’t plan it

cancer moons, share pluto, venus, we reversed saturns

our neptune in capricorn, even downloaded “the pattern”

n co-star just to see what astrology had planted

u were sent to me, maybe too soon

i can’t stand it

we will never be,

now i just gotta accept it

i let u know, i let “us” go

i hope i don’t regret it

but it’s fair i let u know

we could grow, but only if u let it

u tell me done w that, n then i believe u

but ur actions don’t match ur words

7 year sequel

2020 the finale

n i never thought i’d say that

u were the one i wanted to marry

u was by side but not on my side

i fucking hate that

it’s ok, i love u fourever—always

hole in my soul, once again

u made that

kat in them feelings

repressed emotions

chillin, sippin

ima be real w it

write it out, heal n deal w it

AC,

do u love me, are u riding?

my homie, best friend for life we

been thru everything

call me if anything

know i’m down for ya, always

girl u know me, the new and the old me

we go way back, u my fuckin homie

u knew my daddy and my family

u the few that understand me

been watching u n i can see u learning

i just want u happy, we both know u deserve it

growing up, showing love

love u much, in case u haven’t heard it

u taught me about myself

lessons i hadn’t mastered

taught me to trust the universe w questions i couldn’t answer

feels like i knew u in my past life

everytime we link up, vent, drink up

it’s always better than the last time

always opened ur home to me when i needed a break from that “fast life”

tea time, some blankets, some candles

thanking u

for everything that u brought to kat’s life

kat in them feelings

repressed emotions

chillin, sippin

ima be real w it

write it out, heal n deal w it

#316 #lgbt #love #poetry #twin flame #twinflames #soulmate #soulmates #drake #in my feelings #poem #poetry and song #316pm

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nataliedanovelist · 4 years

Photo

(I did not draw this, my friend, @missinspi, drew this for me) (https://www.deviantart.com/missinspi)

Wanna read fics with this OC in it?

For a fic close to canon Gravity Falls (season 3?), read this.

For an AU about Stan and Ford getting a new neighbor at seven-years-old, read this.

Miscellaneous Oc Asks

@cityandking created a (relatively short) list of random, weird, hopefully interesting OC asks. Feel free to specify a character or just send a couple of questions, and then share it around!

What six CD’s would your OC keep in their car? Is it just a taste/preference thing, or do any of them have particular significance? I can’t think of any particular CDs, but as far as artists go... Ray Charles, Stevie Wonder, Queen (or in the Gravity Falls world, the band called King), ACDC, a disk full of instrumental piano music, and a Dolly Parton CD her friend Madeline Ingrid probably gave her.

What does your OC smell like? What does your OC wish they smelled like? Coconut butter, japanese cherry-blossom perfume, and occasionally disinfectant (she works at a hospital). She tried every hard to smell nice, as most women do, and if she feels like work is ruining that, she might use her favorite “stress relief” lotion to help overpower the smells of rubber gloves and baby spit up.

How aesthetically-oriented is your OC in their clothing? Their living space? Their general presentation? If their look™ is mismatched, is that on purpose? Hephzie has a plain, easy-to-follow fashion sense: blue-jeans with t-shirts for casual events, jeans with blouses for nicer days, and occasionally a sweater for the winter. She also has a small love for boys’ clothes; she won’t shy away from mens’ t-shirts or button-ups if they feel nice and look OK. Her living space is relatively tidy (having grown up with grandparents who needed clean floors to avoid falling) but she’s not a clean freak. Her living space is very artsy and mitch-match, having friends all over the world and she loves learning about different cultures. She might have a rug from India by her bed, but a quilt from Ireland on her bed and a small statue from Hawaii on her dresser. With a bunch of hand-me-downs and mis-match tastes, her overall aesthetic is old and comfort.

What one word would you use to describe your OC’s vibe? Chill.

What’s one mundane thing that would throw them off-kilter? Why? Nuclear families. She grew up with her Grandma and Grandpa on her mother’s side. She never knew her father and her mother abandoned her at a hospital, not even waiting to see what would happen to Hephzie. So Hephzie values family very much, but she sees no reason why blood should be the most important factor in the definition in “family”. The idea of a “normal” family, one with two parents who are married and in love, siblings, and occasionally cousins and aunts and uncles, is like a dream to her. It’s nice, but not for her.

What kind of AU is your OC best suited to? What kind of AU would be the worst? Is there any AU that would be, objectively, just really funny? Hephzie is in 2 AUs: one pretty close to canon Gravity Falls, and one in which she grows up as neighbors to Stan and Ford. Both AUs are very interesting and I love seeing how she responds to each scenario, but I think the more “tragic” of the two is the canon-like one. I’ve toyed with an AU of her becoming a singer and I can see it going either two ways: either she crumbles under the pressure and gets into drugs and overdoses, or she flourishes and uses her money and power for good, like feeding the hungry and helping the homeless find homes.

If your OC could pick a different name, title, or pseudonym for themself, what would they pick? Why? Have they ever been given an alternate name/title, and how do they feel about it? Well, her birth name is Alicia-Sarah Hephzibah Fisher Cece, but she HATES the name Alicia-Sarah and only goes by Hephzibah/Hephzie. In one AU, she legally “fixes” her name.

If your OC were playing D&D, what would their race and class be? What backstory tragedy™ would they give their character? Does that reflect their own life in any way? Be honest. Okay, because a certain extra-special person in her life loves D,D, & More D, she plays, too. She’s an woodland elf, a healer, and has very little interest in her character, but she likes the storytelling and the praise she gets if she manages to heal a wizard with pointy-ears and fluffy brown hair named Rokuro the Righteous.

Star Wars or Star Trek? A certain boyfriend of hers likes Star Trek better, but she likes Star Wars better. It’s been a bitter rival since the beginning of time.

If your OC is from a fantasy world, where in the real world would they come from? If your OC is from our world, which fantasy world would they most want to live in? Bonus: Would you ever write/RP them in that world? Hephzie grew up on Irish folktales (her grandmother’s family is from there), so she would love to meet færies and see magic and meet a selkie. Screw being a mermaid, she wanted to be a selkie! And... no, don’t expect a fic about this.

What plant, animal, and color does your OC feel like today? A Venus Flytrap, a mongoose, and the color dark-green. It’s been a rough day but she’s keeping a level head.

If your OC were a superhero, how flashy would their costume be? Also, what would their superpower be? Does this go with their costume at all, or are they all about fashion? #Can’tFightCrimeIfYouAin’tCute Well... in the canon-like AU, she’s kinda a superhero already, so... think something like a knight’s armor on the arms and legs with a maroon cape. Power would be healing, but she can also fight hella well with a sword and bow-and-arrows. And she’s never cared about looking good, she just wants to survive the war...

Does your OC thrift? Buy designer? Where would they shop irl? GOODWILL FOR THE WIN!!! She and her friends called it “treasure hunting” in high-school and it stuck. She loves it, and when a certain somebody came out with a song about it, she was livid (even if she was fifty-something years old).

Is your OC superstitious? If so, what superstitions do they believe? If not, what do they think of superstitious people? She’s constantly around the supernatural and abnormal... and loves it. She thrives off of what is different. So, superstitious?... Hm, she isn’t paranoid or afraid; she welcomes it with open arms.

Is your OC religious? Do they want to be? Have they ever been at some time in the past? How complicated is their relationships with worship/the gods/the church/etc? Her grandparents took her to church growing up and she loved the music. Her grandmother was the choir director and her grandfather played the piano, and she had “the voice of an angel”, so she happily sang in church, but she kinda stopped going to church when she went to college, but if you ask her she’ll tell you she’s a Christian. She says it just makes sense to believe in a god; there’s too much that science can’t explain. She also likes studying Buddhism, Islam, and Judaism to learn more about other people and cultures.

Hardwood, tile, or carpet? Hardwood. But she will NEVER say no to a fluffy rug.

What’s their go-to parlor trick? Are they actually that good at it, or do they just enjoy it? Do people tell them they’re good, even if they aren’t? How do they handle criticism? I can’t really think of a good parlor trick. She has a lot of talents she keeps on the down, like singing and stand-up comedy (don’t ask). On another note, she takes criticism overall pretty well.

If your OC could request one boon from a god, what would it be? The extermination of a certain three-sided demon.

Favorite comfort food? Do they enjoy junk food or are they more of a foodie? Can they cook? What’s their favorite thing to cook? OREOS are HERS! DON’T TOUCH THEM UNLESS YOU WANNA LOSE A HAND! She also secretly loves watermelon (doesn’t like to tell people this) and her comfort food is either hot tea or hot chocolate. Something to warm her hands. And no, she can’t cook; she burns everything. EXCEPT, she can brew coffee and she’s a pretty good barista (was one during college).

Any major theme(s) or conflict(s) in your OC’s life? How have they dealt with that? Are they aware of it, or do they ignore it? Did you design them with such theme(s)/conflict(s) in mind, or did they evolve naturally? Loyalty is a huge one for her. I think so many people have forgotten what it means to be a true friend and what real loyalty looks like. You’re willing to go far and wide for the people you care about because you want to, because you get fulfillment out of doing the right thing. Hephzie will have your back, no matter what. She doesn’t care what race, background, gender, sexuality, religion, she doesn’t give a shit. If you’ve got her, you’ve got a loyal friend. IOne thing she struggled with - and is only semi-aware of it - is loneliness. She finds it suffocating. It’s slight PTSD from losing so much in her life, and she’s not terribly clingy, but she’ll wallow about it and sink into depression if she feels abandoned or alone. She NEEDS that reassurance that she is not a freak and not alone and that SOMEONE would care if one day she was gone. This evolved naturally when shaping her backstory and realising it needed to have realistic consequences.

If they could steal one major piece of art with no consequences, what would it be and why? Bonus: how would they pull off the heist? Anything Bob Ross. Loves that guy. And she’d probably just recrute Stan to help her with either blackmail or her “Please, for me?” line.

Now it’s YOUR turn!

#gravity falls #oc #hephzie cece #ford pines #stan pines

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muitosbeijos · 4 years

Note

All questions 👾🤖😎😎

ahhhh i took so long to answer this, forgive me

Have you ever: 1- kissed someone?

nooo ew cooties 🤢

2- been drunk?

too many times lol

3- cried yourself to sleep?

heartbreak does that

4- self-harmed?

unfortunately

5- felt lonely?

yes

6- been depressed?

woo yes

7- smoked?

yes

What’s your: 8- age?

21 in september 😁

9- birthday?

september 6th 1999 baby

10- status?

doing me

11- biggest fear?

losing my mama

12- dream job?

owner of a psychology clinic in an indigenous reserve

13- dream car?

ion know shit about cars but i’ve always wanted a jeep wrangler

14- dream house?

something that feels like home

Do you: 15- like someone?

yes

16- love someone?

yes

17- have boy/girlfriend?

no sir

18- want boy/girlfriend?

no sir

19- have a tattoo?

not yet 🥺

20- have a piercing?

yes, many

21- party?

yes, covid life got me deprived

Favorite: 22- artist?

ahhh i can’t choose, i like so many genres. currently i’d say my top 3 are the weeknd, dvsn and ama lou

23- movie?

girl interrupted, perks of being a wallflower, get rich or die tryin, pursuit of happiness, hidden figures and the BEE MOVIE. prob more that i can’t think of

24- song?

atlas hands by benjamin francis leftwich or anything off ed sheeran’s + album

25- tv series?

all times are spongebob, fresh prince and a different world. newer, i’d say atypical, top boy, tiger king, the society, dare me, oitnb and rupaul’s drag race. i’m def forgetting some

26- animal?

horses, elephants and whales

27- book?

i can’t pick one ugh, but off the top of my head i’d say “i’ll give you the sun” by jandy nelson

28- color?

YELLOW, pink and orange

This or that: 29- Twitter or Tumblr?

i love them both but probably twitter, peak internet humour

30- Twitter or Instagram?

twitterrr

31- Tumblr or Instagram?

tumblr has my heart

33- coke or pepsi?

none of the above

34- tea or coffee?

love them both, but coffee

35- burger or pizza?

pizza 🥰

Would you ever: 36- get married?

yes

37- have a kids?

yes, i’d adopt though

38- swim with sharks?

YES

39- share a banana?

splitting fruits is my love language

40- eat rotten food?

for survival, i guess?

41- marry a foreigner?

if my soulmate a foreigner then sure

42- smoke weed?

NO WAY 😡saving my first blunt for a sesh with wiz khalifa

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the-bohemians-glass-half-full · 5 years

Text

Kirk & McCoy Star Trek Fanfiction Rec List

A rec list of Kirk and McCoy fics that I've recently enjoyed and thought I'd put out there.

BGM = Music I listened to while reading.

FF = Fanfiction.net

Ao3 = ArchiveofOurOwn

---------------

'Venom' by shoreleave (Friendship)

(There's also an extra part to this called 'Antivenin' written by Inhoe Publishing that tells of the recovery when they get back to the ship.)

Rating: T

FF, Word Count: 10,485

Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Angst

Summary: Another away mission gone wrong. We can never have too many of those, can we?

Notes: The character development in this is skillfully written as it shows the friends working out their issues, and then implementing the solutions they had decided on at the end. (And it also answers the question of why Bones is up on the bridge for no reason at all at times in the series and perhaps even the movies.)

'The Basics of Primary Ed' by Caera1996

FF, Word Count: 136,062

Rating/Warning(s): M

Genre: AU, Family, Romance

Song BGM (for Crash): 'Floating Through the Wind - Claudie Mackula'

Summary: AU where Kirk is a kindergarten teacher and McCoy is the parent of a student. Now complete.

Notes: If I didn't laugh out loud at the opening image of Jim leading a class of small kindergartners with so much energy. I really like that in this AU Bones gets to be with Johanna, his daughter, who he almost never got to see while on board the Enterprise and in the academy. And the romance is sweet, already progressing pretty quickly.

By reading other fics author has written while reading this one, it's seen that they are really good at writing feeling and romance between two people, so much that it feels quite real.

There was also a prompt set in this AU called 'Crash' where Jim gets into a car accident, but has a phobia of doctors because of his past. There were a whole lot of feels as Bones had to rush over to the hospital from one of his medical lectures in order for Jim to calm down enough to give consent to treatment.

I usually don't prefer AUs in any form, unless they are very slight, as I tend to like the characters in the form the story originally had them in, but this story is really sweet and wholesome. I actually look forward to the progression of what happens next in this story. Perhaps this is a game changer for me and I'll start seeking out more AUs.

This has at least two sequels and a whole bunch of prompts that take place in the AU to read, and so I look forward to finishing this to see what happens next.

'No Man's Land' - A collaboration between shoreleave and Mijan (Romance)

FF, Word Count: 81,093

Rating: T

Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Mpreg

Summary: A mission gone wrong puts Jim at the wrong end of alien observation, helpless and defenseless. After his rescue, he slowly starts to recover, until one unrealized part of the Antosians' handiwork turns his life upside down and threatens to destroy him.

Notes: I was pretty hyped for this one as it was a collaboration between two authors that are really good at writing Jim and Bones together- whether that be friendship or romance. This one's pretty much an ocean of angst with a sprinkle of romance. It's definitely not your lovey dovey mpreg fic, as it was non consensual and all the angst that comes with this situation. It feels like Jim is suffering the whole way. This really wasn't a very happy fanfiction, but with the writing styles of both these authors, everything was really well written with an air of realism, and I thought it was a really good read. People might be put off because of the mpreg, but even so it's a really good fanfiction that's well worth it.

'We Two Alone' by shoreleave (Friendship)

FF, Word Count: 107,426

Rating: T

Genre: Drama, Hurt/Comfort

Summary: Leonard McCoy thinks he has nothing in common with command-track cadet Jim Kirk, until a series of events forces them together. When a training mission derails into a seemingly hopeless situation, both have to learn to trust each other to survive.

Notes: This was one that blew me out of the water with how good it was. The character development, the slow and realistic friendship development, the survival situation that kept me on the edge of my seat when shit started to hit the fan, and the feels as it was rough going in the last few chapters made it all fantastically written and I don't have enough praises for it. It took a good many times to work up the effort to read past the first chapter, but from then on, it was smooth, 'page turning' reading.

This fanfiction also answered the confusing plot hole in the movie of why Captain Pike would make Jim first officer when there had to be at least one more experienced and capable officer aboard the ship that would be better suited to the task. As soon as someone pointed that out, it really made no sense to me.

'The broken clock is a comfort (it helps me sleep tonight)' by Mellaithwen (Romance)

Ao3, Word Count: 11,683

Rating: M

Genre: AU Book/ Movie Fusion, Romance, Tragedy

(Song BGM: The Time Traveler's Wife Soundtrack and Lifehouse - Broken 'Cover by Mike Cerveni')

Summary: James T. Kirk first meets Leonard McCoy when he is six years old.

Notes: This one is an AU of the book/movie "The Time Traveler's Wife", and it's quite interesting to see all the confusing time travel being done. Beautiful Romance. A heart wrenching ending, and I was reeling with sadness by the end, but so so worth it.

'One Little White Lie' by laughter_now (Romance)

Ao3, Word Count: 71,768

Rating: M

Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Marriage, Amnesia

Summary: One little white lie never hurt anybody, that's what they say. But apparently they are wrong, because even one small lie can spin out of control and change a life forever. Jim only wanted to be by his best friend's side after an accident. Nobody could have known that the lie he told to make that possible was going to come back to haunt him.

Notes: Jim has to pretend that he's married to his best friend, due to a misunderstanding with the natives after Bones gets amnesia and drama ensues.

Although a lot of it was awkward with cringey moment and lots of tension due to Bones not knowing Jim anymore, and watching Jim struggle to keep their fake marriage from being found out by Bones, there were a whole lot of heartwarming feels with the romantic moments, and the ending was quite smile inducing. I really liked this one.

'Alter the Ending' by IsmayDeVain (Friendship)

FF, Word Count: 8,267

Rating: T

Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Drama

Song BGM: 'Claudie Mackula - Destroyed'

Summary: Leo watches Jim die twelve times in one day, and no matter what he does, no matter what he changes, he cannot save him.

Notes: This one goes pretty much like other mass death plots, like Dean from Supernatural and Mayuri from Steins' Gate, where the character dies in a different way each time, while another character tries to stop it but is helpless to do so and it resets from the same point in time every time it happens. It was pretty hard to read Jim just dying over and over and feel Bones' helplessness and suffering as he couldn't do anything. Happy ending, lots of angst.

'Morphine' by Tashilovet (Friendship)

FF, Word Count: 14,581

Rating: K+

Genre: Academy, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort

Summary: The more McCoy tried to fight it, the more he wanted to help the stupid kid. A McCoy/Kirk friendship fic.

Notes: This is a fic set when Bones and Jim were still in the academy. There's more to this than there would seem, a whole in depth and satisfying plot that caught me by surprise by the end given that it seemed more like a drabble fic.

'Mixed Signals' by Mijan (Romance)

FF and Ao3, Word Count: 5,997

Summary: Jim Kirk finds himself stranded on a planet's surface when an unpredictable ion storm cuts off transporters and, apparently, communications. The ship can't hear Jim, but he can hear their transmissions... and then Leonard McCoy starts sending him messages, believing that Jim can't hear any of it.

Notes: I found this one really amusing and sweet, pretty lighthearted and relaxing after reading a bunch of angst filled fics.

'Visions of Sleep' by ElegantGhost (Friendship)

Rating: T

FF, Word Count: 12,598

Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Friendship

Summary: Jim hasn't slept for days. When the ship is attacked and he gets a concussion, it's up to Bones to keep him alive and awake until they reach sickbay.

Notes: While there were some confusing parts while Jim was out of it with delusions and blurred vision, and because there wasn't another perspective you couldn't tell what was happening at times, but I found the concept interesting and it was a good read.

#star trek fanfiction #star trek #jim kirk #leonard mccoy #fanfiction recs

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jtpoison · 5 years

Text

I am going to off myself Summer of 2019.

I hold you close in push u away. Wavey like the ocean.

lost in life so im coasting

ur love im overdosing

ur married tho i cant touch

damn this sucks

sometimes u looking cute n i wanna kiss you

over this summer shawty ima miss you

n it makes me sad cuz ik ur heart is with someone else

but fuck it. Fuck love ion need no help

i did it 19 years by my motherfuckingself

i wrote this poem so u can read it

while u reading my hand is probably bleeding

not cuz of u. its just cuz im insane

i cant keep happy thoughts inside my brain

again and again i feel unloved

so right now im just not gunna give a fuck

My mom jacks she do but i know she lying

i wish so badly that i can START crying

now that may be weird some

but i just want this down to be over n done

so if i have to cut it out i will

smoke my weed and pop my pills

ill kill

myself if its a necessity

i dont fucking want pity dont stand next to me

my brodie felt this way or maybe even worse

n now hes 6 feet under

under the dirt

n i wonder if life has the same path

i reach for somebody anybodys hand to grab

you see it and walk about ur business

but when u need help im always there never a witness

damn i poured my heart out so i hope u respond

shit this so hard might turn it into a song.

n if i do i know the perfect name

too sweet but i cant feel the taste.

meet me at makeouthill ❤️💤

#im sad #text me back #death before dishonor #death #lonely #sad quotes #noone to talk to #i love you #makeout #hill

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thiccdaddy-mbaku · 6 years

Text

Cream Pie II Erik x Black!OC

Paring: Erik x Aaliyah (Black!OC)

Prompt: N/A

Warning: Smut (das it b)

Word Count: 2126

Posted: 6/27/2018

A/N: At first this was plotted smut, but I’m having horrible sickle cell pain right now so I said nah... better not. But yeah, smut with no plot. Anyways, I’m posting this at 2:37 a.m. Goodnight to my fellow black queen <3

————————

Not even for the sake of her sleeping three year old in the other room could Mrs. Stevens stop beating and scratching the bedpost of she and her husband's canopy style bed. Her long soft pink acrylics repeatedly raked over the finish coat beautifully sealing the untarnished Rubberwood of the King size poster head, the bad habit would eventually lead to minute scratches overcoming the furniture set.

With a high pitched squeal and subsequent heavy panting, Aaliyah came for the fourth time that night. Her husband's large hand and long fingers easily maneuvered towards the sweet flesh of her thin, deep brown to grip her.

"Oh fuck! Daddy, please! Please! Please! —" Her prayers went unanswered; the wall of muscle and raw sex appeal ignored her cries, continuing to glide in and out of his wife's taunt and heated snatch. The slight curve of his thick meat had her sprawled out beneath him withering in agony from the physical and spiritual intensity of all her pleasure.

Erik faltered in his rhythmic assaults on her swollen goodness as to not immediately bust as her walls put him in a choke hold.

Stray strands of her twenty inch curly Malaysian bundles stuck to the sweat beads collecting at her forehead, which was slightly darker than the rest of her skin.

And as Erik Stevens looked down at the love of his life, watching her sizable breast rise and fall with the rest of her body, the taunt brown nipples still erect as if to say they were waiting on him. She sluggishly felt herself up to fasten the cool down time, her gingerbread eyes bore directly into his lustrous carob browns.

"I love you." They said in unison.

Erik repositioned his forearms so that his muscles would enclose her and provide them both with the illusion of tunnel vision. He bent his head down slowly, the short dreads falling out of position and onto his forehead tickling his wife's rich brown skin when he went to sample her sweaty neck and plump lips.

To him, her laugh sounded like chimes. So clear and pure and genuine, it was his personal song and he wanted to hear it again. It reminded him of why he fell in love with her. "E, stop it tickles!"

The two continued to kiss and feel on one another until she eventually started to get frustrated with his teasing, she told him to stop before they fought. "Nah girl, I like hearing you laugh. You so fucking beautiful, look at you." With a quickness she pecked his mouth and went to suck on his bottom lip just how he liked. A deep moan and soft glottal stop escaped his mouth– and then a sharp intake of air.

While his eyes were closed to concentrate and his dick waited for instruction, resting on the smooth skin of her soft, thick brown thighs. Reaching between their bodies, Aaliyah firmly grasped his manhood with one hand; the un-calloused pad of her right thumb grazed over the meatus of his thick head ever so gently. This was payback.

Erik nearly fell off the bed from the shock of sensitivity shooting throughout his body.

She laughed.

He rolled his eyes.

"Yeah nigga, now you know how that shit feels."

"You better quit playing before I put another baby in you."

"Is that a threat or a promise, Daddy?" Slowly and with caution she restarted her skillful hand job; her wrist twisting and contouring to encase all nine and a half inches of his dick.

"Fuck girl, say that shit again. Just like that."

"What, you want me to say 'Daddy?'" Aaliyah was beyond the extent of self awareness at that point. She'd committed every aspect of their lovemaking to her memory.

"Yeah." Erik began kissing over the junction of her neck like before.

"Daddy, you gonna cum inside me? That's all I want you to do: cum all up in this pussy, Daddy. I want every single last drop you got," Her thick and sexually charged voice broke his train of thought, Erik had no idea what to do and she could tell. "Lay back baby, let me take care of you how you take care of me. I got you."

Without pause Aaliyah faithfully used the palm of her hand to encourage Erik to lay back and enjoy himself as she went to work on him. Taking charge, the small woman flipped the duo over before sliding her way down his sculpted body. Her lips kissed down the 'V' line pointing to his deliciously engorged cock and up his powerful and muscular thighs.

Her mouth salivated at the sight.

She was never one for control, always having been the more sexually submissive type; but with her curls now messily placed into a bun and her jaw relaxed to take all of him in, the gorgeous woman swore she felt her man grow half an inch from the feel of her tongue alone.

Every inch of him rested nicely in the back of her throat. Her tears turned black, made impure by the mascara coating her lashes. It made her feel somewhat dizzy and hornier than she already was. Just when his twitching and squirming became intense she stopped abruptly to let him cool down before she fucked the soul out of him. "I own this dick, Daddy. Say it."

Erik groaned so loud in frustration and arousal. What the hell going on with her?

When he continued to be stubborn she took her nails and lightly dig into the flesh of his pigmented colored throat.

"Ma, you own this big ass dick. It's yours. Daddy's dick got ya name written all over it right." He rolled his eyes and Aaliyah laughed quietly.

Her sweet, sweet pussy walls greedily inhaled him and her hand went to massage his weighted balls with her non dominant hand.

Using her feet for balance, her nails lightly scratching the copious keloid scars on his chest, she began to ride her husband with a quickness. It was as if tonight would be their last.

Erik's large palms repeatedly went to smack and fondle the dark ass and breast of the black goddess riding him. Aaliyah was loud, louder than she'd been in awhile. Her grip on reality was slowly subsiding and the air in her lungs began to thin out and Erik had to keep 'shushing' her as to not wake up the their sleeping toddler.

An airy mantra of 'Oh my God' was all she could cry out at this point. All other noises were either pants, moans, utterances of foul language, filthy squelching, or the intrusive wet sound of open mouth kisses as she proudly marked the territory along his neck, letting the world know this fine ass man she was fucking belonged to her. And her only.

Erik Stevens loved it.

Getting tired of their now sluggish pace due to her settling fatigue, Erik flipped them back over placing himself back in a position of power and control.

Now she was on all fours, back arched beautifully, her glorious brown ass was twerking onto the dick she married when they went into covenant.

The dick and the man belonged to her and her only.

He had his palm positioned at the base of her neck to prevent her from moving too much. Like clock work her thighs started to shake.

Remnants of her deep brown foundation and bronzer were beyond apparent even in the darkness of the setting. Using what was left of her lower body strength Aaliyah used her thighs to meet every one of his vicious thrust. Squelching and the slapping of skin were the only audible sounds next to their cohesive breathing.

Erik's intense grip on her hips and his unashamed moans only exhausted her more. His aggressiveness and ruthlessness during sex made her go absolutely crazy. Aaliyah's head hung heavy between her shoulders, chestnut brown eyes peering down to get a glimpse of his him fucking her.

The sight literally made her start creaming, forcing her to cry harder than she ever had before. The coiling heat in her abdomen only intensifying as the seconds went by.

"Oh fuck girl, when you start doing this shit? I did this?" He chuckled darkly, loudly spanking her round ass repeatedly to emphasize his excitement.

She could only nod; her full flesh-toned lips opened and closed attempting for sound to come out, but she could not speak because she was too busy cumming.

"Nah, Ion give a fuck about the nodding ya head shit. Answer me girl; who making you feel this good? Answer me." It seemed as if with every word he went deeper and deeper into his wife's guts.

"Oh. My. God. Daddy, please! Please!"

"Tell me ma, who got you like this?" His calloused fingertips crossed under her abdomen and began furiously rubbing at her clit to get her where he wanted her. Her high-pitched mewls and pants were sweet music to his ears and that twitching dick embedded inside her.

"You do, Daddy! This tight ass pussy only comes for you and only you! I love you and I love this dick! Put another baby in me! I want all of you! I want all this shit!" Her eyes had long rolled into her head, she was no longer thinking of what she was saying. Everything was on autopilot. His love cried out for the creampie of all creampies, something animalistic and primitive snapped in his psyche.

Jerking her around and throwing her onto her back and back onto their sheets, without notice his meat slid comfortably back into Aaliyah's tight pussy. He'd made a home out of her guts and by chance their child would do just the same.

They didn't typically do missionary unless there was sweet love making involved, but this moment was too memorable to miss out on. Precisely, Erik climbed onto the thick and gorgeous black woman sprawled out beneath him. Their chest rose and fell in sync, heads titled in opposite directions as they tongued the other down.

His large forearm was wedged between her arch and the mattress, positioned there to pull the potential two time mother as possible. His full lips and thick pink tongue took to claiming hers, and as much as she tried to dominate Erik in any form, his sexuality was far more manipulative than hers, forcing Aaliyah to submit.

Instinctively her smooth plush legs wrapped around his loser back; the heels of her pedicured feet rested just at the small of his back.

Repeatedly her acrylic nails scratched and dug at her man's copious keloid scars, making his member twitch and throb relentlessly.

"E, I love you so fucking much. You make me feel so fucking good, Daddy. Look at me, Daddy." His face was buried deep in the crook of her neck sucking at the skin; he did not hear her until her soft fingers gripped at his beard to coax him away from his concentrated state.

"I love you so much." They shared another deep kiss, still feeling one another up as they rocked into each other . "You and baby girl in there, I always got what's mine. And right now I'm about to rip this nut from you girl. You wanted another baby, you getting one."

Of all the times they were intimate, this was ranked in the top three by far. Erik took her thick thighs and pinned them to her torso with just his forearm. Their positions kept her knees together and forced her tight pussy walls to suffocate his meaty dick.

Erik was loosing it.

Her hands began grabbing for any and everything; Erik forcing her hands to maintain position for the enjoyment of watching her squirm and cry out in frustration. His thumb forced its way between her thighs and to the sensitive tingling bundle of nerves.

"Look at me baby, I want you to come with me." While his thumb worked at her clit and he fucked into her, Aaliyah's baby boomer nails snuck down to firmly squeeze his balls and immediately Erik nutted. Hard.

They came simultaneously. Her muffled wails and sporadic convulsing was the equivalent of his muttered profanity and his shaky movements; it was a painful bliss both of them. The rapid contractions of her walls extending his orgasm by much.

When he finally pulled out, Erik took his hand and smacked her exposed pink roughly.

"Oh fuck! Erik what's wrong with you?!"

He could only smirk and stare into her eyes. Imma get a rag; hold that shit until I get back, we having a soccer team." He pecked her lips before getting up.

Aaliyah squealed before tossing herself back into the bed.

"God I love him."

————————

Don't forget to review, comment, and reblog (I sound like a youtube lmao). I haven't posted a fic in a good ass minute, so this is just for the time being to hold y'all over while I get my mental and physical health together. Love y’all :)

#thicc daddy imagines #my fic #erik x oc #erik x reader #black panther

483 notes · View notes

whatdoesshedotothem · 3 years

Text

Wed[nesday] 21 September 1825

9 40/60

3 50/60

Three at once last night then one a very little while afterwards then fell asleep just before getting up this morn

ing had two at once. M- [Mariana] d[o]wn at 10 40/60 and I at 10 55/60 - just as we h[a]d done br[eak]f[a]st col[onel] Tryon and Mr Powis

call[e]d on M- [Mariana] and s[a]t 1/2 h[ou]r. M- [Mariana] and I w[e]nt upst[ai]rs for 1/2 h[ou]r - call[e]d d[o]wn to D[octo]r Scudamore - w[e]nt out ab[ou]t 2 -

w[e]nt to Bright’s and to Beaumont’s the druggist he shew[e]d the stom[a]ch ------ aft[er]w[ar]ds ---- pump for extract[in]g pois[o]n fr[om] the stom[a]ch - pr[ice] 3 1/2 guin[ea]s fr[om] Weiss - col[one]l and Mrs Tryon hav[in]g call[e]d on us, we met them, and walk[e]d up and d[o]wn the arcade n[ea]r an h[ou]r -

I arm in arm w[i]th Mrs Tryon - in close confab about L- [Charles Lawton] I spoke handsomely of him and we both praised M- [Pi - Mariana] Mrs T- [Tryon] had always wondered

she married him for she had known him in his first wife’s life time I explained gently how mista

ken was M-‘s [Pi - Mariana] estimate of his character and vindicated her calmly and I fancied successfully all this while

it seems Col[onel] T- [Tryon] was praising me wondered I had never married M- [Pi - Mariana] hinted at my having had had a disappoint

tment some years had then put on mourning would never take it off and never marry he asked if I was

of a county family M- [Pi - Mariana] said yes could count as many generations as most could and was very aristo

cratic The T[yron]s quite pleased with me for M- [Pi - Mariana] and I mut[u]ally told all we had said and heard we delighted

they did not come sooner they would have too much of our society and been a bore that we could scarcely have

avoided. Bef[ore] walk[in]g w[i]th the T[yron]s we h[a]d p[ai]d our bill M- [Mariana] cop[ie]d the pattern of the inlay[in]g w[i]th moth[e]r

of pearl of one of Bright’s workboxes - aft[e]r leav[in]g the T[ryon]s, ab[ou]t 4 3/4, - w[e]nt to the spar shop at this end

of the low town - a ver[y] civ[i]l old wom[a]n there let us walk r[ou]nd her shop, and see all w[i]thout buy[in]g and

then we walk[e]d up and d[o]wn the arcade of the square till 5 35/60 - d[i]d n[o]t dress eith[e]r today or yest[erday] -

Din[ner] at 5 55/60 - s[a]t talk[in]g to M- [Mariana] whi[le] my a[un]t h[a]d Mrs Locke fr[om] 6 1/2 to 7 1/2 and then sett[le]d acc[oun]ts and wr[ote] the

ab[ov]e of today w[hi]ch took me till 11 - gr[ea]t deal of r[ai]n dur[in]g last n[i]ght rainy morn[in]g till n[ea]r noon - then a light show[e]r or 2 aft[er]w[ar]ds b[u]t oth[e]r

wise pret[ty] fine till ab[ou]t 6 - then a lit[tle] mo[re] r[ai]n w[hi]ch prev[ente]d the band play[in]g. E. 0.. we were just

go[in]g up to b[e]d at 11 5/60 wh[e]n D[octo]r Scudamore call[e]d and s[a]t w[i]th us till 11 50/60 - he h[a]d been at the ball (a ver[y]

good one) and c[oul]d n[o]t leave Mrs S- [Scudamore] and h[e]r fr[ie]nd (Miss Bruin?) or w[oul]d ha[ve] call[e]d soon[e]r. M- [Mariana] h[a]d lit[tle] to say for we

talk[e]d on scientif[i]c subj[ec]ts alm[o]st all the ti[me] yet I learnt noth[in]g sa[me] the repetit[io]n of his opin[ion] that D[octo]r

Bostock’s work on physiol[og]y is the best, and will decid[edl]y suit me the best. He is cert[ainl]y, as M- [Mariana] obs[erve]d, ver[y]

heavy in conversant[io]n - he can[no]t talk on any subj[ec]t - he is so slow, and tedious, and tiresome. I cann[o]t help think[in]g of the

follow[in]g obs[ervation] of Swift in his th[ou]ght on var[iou]s subj[ec]ts (vid[ere] Johnson’s dict[ionar]y on the w[or]d Fluency) ‘the com[mon] fluency of

sp[ee]ch in man[y] men, and m[o]st wom[e], is ow[in]g to a scarc[it]y of matt[e]r, and a scarc[it]y of w[or]ds; for whoev[e]r is mast[e]r of language

and hath a mind full of ideas, will be apt in speak[in]g, to hesit[a]te up[on] the choice of both’ - finding I had the new French stays

I have never worn M- [Pi - Mariana] tried them on etc etc we h[a]d n[o]t done pack[in]g till n[ea]r 3. M- [Mariana] p[u]t me on a new watch rib[be]d and then

cut the hair from her own queer and I that from mine which she put each into each of the two little lockets we got at Bright’s ‘

1825 Sept[embe]r

this morning twelve shillings each for us always to wear under our clothes in mutual remembrance we both of us kissed each bit of hair before it was put into the locket. Let[ter] fr[om] IN- [Isabella Norcliffe]

(Langt[o]n) this morn[in]g - 3 p[ages] and the 2 f[ir]st cross[ed - wide[l]y writ[ten] - she app[ea]rs to ha[ve] forgott[e]n hav[in]g writ[ten] to me fr[om] Snailwell

and tells me all she told in h[e]r last, w[i]th the addit[io]nal acc[oun]t of h[e]r safe arriv[a]l at ho[me] on the 31st ult. or 1st

inst. I can[no]t qui[te] ma[ke] out w[hi]ch - she and Miss Hill (of Snailwell) stopt to see Cambridge w[hi]ch IN- [Isabella Norcliffe] says ‘is ver[y]

infer[io]r to Oxf[or]d in point of beauty, b[u]t the latt[e]r can boast of noth[in]g like King’s col[lege] chap[e]l w[hi]ch is the m[o]st

divine th[in]g I ev[e]r beheld in my life - noth[in]g that I ev[e]r yet saw can vie w[i]th it in point of beauty, and it

is w[i]th go[in]g a thous[an]d m[ile]s to see’. IN- [Isabella Norcliffe] and Char[lotte] and Mar[ia]nne Dalt[o]n w[e]nt to the festiv[a]l - the form[e]r at the Belcombe’s

the 2 latt[e]t at Fisher’s - on Wed[nesday] (14th inst.) they w[e]nt to the conc[er]t so crowd[e]d they c[oul]d n[o]t g[e]t seats dur[in]g the 1st act

‘the mus[i]c sound[e]d ver[y] well, b[u]t there w[a]s a deplorab[le] want of Catalani and Mrs Salomon. Garcia I lik[e]d the

best, and if she does imitate Cat [Catalani], all I can say, is, that it is the best imitat[o]r I ev[e]r heard, for there were

mom[en]ts, in w[hi]ch ev[e]n I c[oul]d ha[ve] been deceiv[e]d...... Caradorz and Miss Stephens b[o]th sang ver[y] sweet[l]y, as d[i]d

als[o] Miss Travis, b[u]t Miss Wilkins[o]n w[a]s a complete failure, and the a[rch]b[isho]p is m[u]ch blam[e]d for insist[in]g up[on]

hav[in]g h[e]r. I w[e]nt to the minst[e]r on Fri[day] (the 16th inst.) the choruses were magnif[icen]t, b[u]t Braham spoilt

Luther’s hymn by putt[in]g in a fine quaver at the end of all were loud in asser[in]g the extreme

superior[it]y of Catalani in this divine song’...... Mrs N- [Norcliffe] d[i]d n[o]t go to the festiv[a]l on acc[oun]t of a quar[rel] bet[ween] Charlotte

and Mrs Best. IN- [Isabella Norcliffe] d[i]d n[o]t go to the fancy ball, b[u]t Charlotte w[e]nt and d[i]d n[o]t go b[a]ck till 5 the next morn[in]g - there seems

to ha[ve] been a gr[ea]t crowd. Mrs Milne w[a]s alm[o]st knock[e]d up and Mrs John Tweedy faint[e]d ‘and d[i]d n[o]t

recov[e]r h[i]s senses till 5 h[ou]rs aft[er]w[ar]ds. He w[a]s attend[e]d by Stephens, D[octo]r Goldie, and a sug[eo]n b[u]t they were for a

length of ti[me] bef[ore] they c[oul]d get an[y] blood, and Steph[en] th[ou]ght he w[oul]d die. Howev[e]r they succeed[e]d at last, and he is

n[ea]rly recov[ere]d.’

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oktobrios-blog · 6 years

Text

85qs

i was tagged by @sighkook uwu <3 tagging: if you see this and wanna do it go 4 it LAST

1. Drink: cold tea 2. Phone Call: mom 3. Text message: "and 81" 4. Song you listened to: bad boy (english ver) 5. Time you cried: today during the afternoon

EVER

6. Dated someone twice: yeah 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: ...yea 8. Been cheated on: thrice 9. Lost someone special: yeah 10. Been depressed: yep 11. Gotten drunk and threw up: yeah! last time was fun bc i was hiccuping then i was like hm lemme puke and then take a cold shower!

FAVE COLOURS

12. baby pink 13. red 14. pastel violet

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU

15. Made new friends: yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm happy thank u for existing, new friends 16. Fallen out of love: a lot 17. Laughed until you cried: while watching memes/with my friends 18. Found out someone was talking about you: yeah,,,,,,,,,,,, 19. Met someone who changed you: each person i meet will change me, either on the way i am or on the way i think. 20. Found out who your friends are: most of them are good. some are toxic and i cut 'em quick. 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook friends list: yeehaw! probably over 30

GENERAL

22. How many Facebook friends do you know irl: créu gang, uni friends, random people. some are my online friends but i love them as much 23. Do you have any pets: two doggos, two cats. 24. Do you want to change your name: i just want people to respect me and call me by bea/bê. 25. What did you do for your last birthday: i drank, got high and cried a lot. it was a good 3-day long birthday. 26. What time did you wake up today: 5:37 27. What were you doing @midnight last night: texting lucas (online friend, not my bro) and trying to sleep 28. What is something you can’t wait for: probably Bastarz or Mamamoo's show!! 29. What are you listening to right now: my pc's fan 30. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: naw 31. Something that gets on my nerves: annoying people. rich people that think they're better/their opinion is worth more than those that don't have much. 32. Most visited website: twitter/ig/youtube 33. Hair colour: chestnut with a few ultraviolet straks 34. Hair long or short: on me? short. on someone else? anything. <3 35. Do you have a crush on someone: yeah and i wanna cry i'm tired of falling in love 36. What do you like about yourself: my hability to multitask/do quick memes/mashup/have multiple accounts on social media 37. Want any piercings: double helix, septum, all over my ears tbh LMAO 38. Blood Type: my blood type is A+ but i'm a C- person 39. Nicknames: bea/bê/bezão/potrancuda/bezoca/b/bia/bean/baby bee 40. Relationship Status: crying over lucifer 41. Zodiac: libra 42. Pronouns: she/her; they/them 43. Fave TV shows: lucifer, sense8, sherlock, everything sucks, 44. Tattoos: i'm still planning on what i want. maybe something minimal, lgbt related. 45. Right or left handed: a little of both 46. Ever had surgery: nah 47. Piercings: earlobewewewew 48. Sports: tennis, badminton, volley 49. Vacation: leon's house, yu's house, al's house, the mall, créu parties. 50. Trainers: the fuck

MORE GENERAL

51. Eating: parmesan cheetos 52. Drinking: coconut water 53. I’m about to watch: another episode of lucifer 54. Waiting for: my sleepiness to grab me 55. Want: to study abroad, money, bts'/crush/loco/red velvet/panic/millic/lana/dyduo/heize/mamamoo/bastarz/etc... albums, stable life, mom to be happy, grandma to be ok soon, my friends to be alright. 56. Get married: i dunno. 57. Career: journalist/musician/designer/jack of all trades

WHICH IS BETTER

58. Hugs or kisses: both 59. Lips or eyes: lipsssssss 60. Shorter or taller: i don't care about height tbh,,,, love small twinky people, built tall people, tall noodles, small noodles, tall and smol chubs, whatever you are: if you are a good person, i'll like you. 61. Older or younger: fist me mommy 62. Nice arms or stomach: ion care 63. Hookup or relationship: i just want a cute baby to hmu. whoever you are, hmu. 64. Troublemaker or hesitant: a lil of both; hesitant mostly

HAVE YOU EVER

65. Kissed a stranger: a few! 66. Drank hard liquor: always. 67. Lost glasses: ALWAYS LMAO 68. Turned someone down: four to five times? i hate assholes. 69. Sex on first date: not yet ;) 70. Broken someone’s heart: yeah 71. Had your heart broken: cant count LMAO 72. Been arrested: nah, but spent 5 hours on a pd once because i had to file a complaint because i had a gun pointed to my face and my phone taken from me afterwards LMAO 73. Cried when someone died: so much. fuck i'm crying rn 74. Fallen for a friend: i always end up having a crush on a few friends, but yeah. this one crush got my heart like boom. it's mostly gone, anyways.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

75. Yourself: i believe in me, i believe in myself 76. Miracles: yeah. 77. Love at first sight: LMAO YEAH 78. Santa Claus: kinda 79. Kiss on a first date: yeah!! 80. Angels: all sorts of "supernatural" things

OTHER

81. Best friends names: not names but... créu gang, fantastic whores gang. 82. Eye colour: chestnut 83. Fave movie: i, tonya 84. Fave actor: FUCKING TOM ELLIS I LOVE HIS EYES! TALL NOODLE I LOVE! 85. Fave band/artist: offonoff, bts, the xx, millic, kali uchis, jorja smith, franz ferdinand, marina, and lots more.

#questions

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the-main-characterr · 3 years

Text

realised i forgot to watch tharntype,

will do rn.

kinda feel like i also grew out of that but eh we’ll see

types aggressive being still annoys me

y u always >:(

if i dated someone for 7 years and they still didn’t marry me, i’d be insecure ASF

i like 2gether more than tharntype

it’s prettier

you could’ve done ur alarm urself bitch

why are you talking so slow?

why are u judging em tho just watch the show

i think everyone that knows me a lil bit knows why i like 2gether more

7 years are actually a lot-

AND THEY WERE ROOMMATES

i kinda want one but i also don’t like what

i said it before and i’ll say it again: types aggressive behaviour annoys me

not tryna b judgemental but if u stick to type for 7 years u have all my respect

watching this hurts in my soul

that p’cir and phu r cool

love the sound effects

love the time i lived in when i watched the first season

if i’m so judgemental already, i also don’t like their kitchen

it’s so boring wth

wow- now i feel bad.

sorry.

the way tharn puts his phone in his front pocket is everything but *judgemental comment here* i can’t think of any bad things rn

i’m so scared of both of them like they’re always like >:(

you can’t just force someone into marriage-

no but like why would a stranger want to know if you have a relationship or not i mean you’re not going to random people and say hi we’re married

i mean i would do that but i’m the main character-

if someone “could stay mad at me” id be fucked-

yall are so sensitive just touch the bread

that phegun and p’cir are cute ngl

no like literally yall are so dramatic

i liked fiat but wth

doc is cute

just because you’re not married doesn’t mean you’re sharing him-

type improved tbh

awh they cute-

the music———————— jail

marriage.

POSSESSIVEEEEEEE

lucky me being zen-meryem rn

perfect representation on how personality can destroy everything

until this day, i still don’t know what a lines ID is supposed to be

this was too cute i’m ded

rip me

i love the sound effects yfrvjjvgjmkb

love their style

fiat u can’t just-

come for a taken man that’s the most disgusting thing possible

like even if he wasnt happy with tharn or in a toxic relationship it’s not ur stupid job to manipulate and steal wth

leo u have all my respect

wouldnt mind being ur bestie

stfu fiat u r a toxic attention seeking bitch that is nothing more but unethical

selfish brat

this is cute-

love

ngl the fact it’s been 7 years n they stilsbxbwjbdwbbx

cute

ok leo i understand why u took it back but i still respect u for even doing it

phugun is too possessive

of p’cir idk the names but one of them

the not cute one

idk why yall hate on no so much he funny af

oh i see

phugun is the cute one

P’CIR IS TOOO POSSESSIVE

let the man live wth

seo is literally it dnxjdbjdbsbf

what did actually happen to the guy that’s been a bitch and possessed over tharn

lol i actually feel bad for type. it’s the first time i see him EMOTIONAL and damn-

must hurt.

omg istg i also wonder why he doesn’t quit

this is too much I CANT

Imma suffocate on the cutegsbsbdbbd ah i’m dying

hmph ig im just to tough to cry😤

WOAH

heart attack-

SHXBHSBC A MAN

doc, ily

this picture-in-picture thingy is so cool

i remember a time type didn’t want to admit he missed him

the hdhxb ishdiuebchw immaculate

fiat i’m scared of u

“every time i really want someone, i never get them” FELT. FELT FELT FELT difference is that my dumbass don’t want them when they want me🥲 it’s ok. time knows what it’s doing

fiat u r heartless

imagine having a healthy relationship with ur mother in law

yall be having literal bodyguards

i could SELL MY SOUL HE DID SOMETHING IN THAT DRINK

ok i wasn’t sure about it but by the amount that guy said cheers i couldn’t be more convinced that this man is evil

the fact that he didn’t tuck his shirt is the whole evidence

DATE ALREADY I CANT HHGGYYGCCXDDXCGBB U N CHAMP FOREVER

doc-

you heard him don’t leave him

HUH WAIT I HAVE TO WAIT!?

THOUGHT I CAN

WATCH IT ALL THROUGH

if you don’t move ur ass rn i’ll come to thailand myself n kick ur ass

too invested-

JANUARY 22?/!/£:!.!3):£WHAT

i cant-

okay cool i waited a few weeks imma continue wasching now

oh i remember. i was yelling at that basketball kid

STOP ASSAULTING A DRUNK PERSON AH J CANT MY EYES

omg leo thanks u saved my life thank u ily

you don’t have to be on top of him just to question him-

be scared stupid bitch

types just simply sleeping somewhere completely left alone👁👄👁

DUDE WHY U SO AGGRESSIVE

i CaN bE yOuR hUsBaNd BITCH ION REALLY THINK SO

WOW

I FORGOT UR NAME BUT DAYUMN SHOW HIM

i wish i had someone that kept his promise under every circumstance

ppl that promise me things b like i NeVeR sAiD tHaT hUhH

yall just so addicted to each other like chill

if i’d marry someone, i’d feel so old

like hi i’m MARRIED

stop with the i miss u it’s so emotional

tharn you look so done with ur life lmfao

fiat you’re so annoying istg

cant u just ply basketball and leave these ppl alone like piss off

why yall crushing on type crush on me

fiat go study or sumn srsly

STOP

omg STAHP HE JUST SAID WATCH UR KNEE

DONT U FUGGIN KISS HIM OMFG

ah doorbell.

thanks.

phu you’re so funny

WHAT- wth fiat please stop you’re ridiculous

For seven years, i’ve never had eyes for anyone but him. damn- imagine-

my hearts b shattering ITS NOT HIS FAULT

well okay there’s a lot of evidence against

STILL

ITS NOT HIS FAULT

i mean i see tharns point but

ARGHZBSHSBXBWBXB

for personal reasons i will be passing away

the audacity of this bitch is giving me ANGER

imagine buying wedding rings just to come home n hear “we should take a break”

fuck anger i’ll cry

why even want fiat💀

AH DONT CRY J CANT HSBSHABX

phu you’re so cute like THE CHARACTER

thanya you’re such a queen i can’t explain

this scene is so funny they all b sitting there like 👀👀👀👀👀

MY SOUL

you disgust me.

ok first off phu gun your style is so cool like that white shirt- FABULOUS 10/54

n second off, my dumbass felt like WHO IS THAT MAN HITTING ON FIAT I KNOW HIM

silly me it’s cir-

handsome man ngl

WHY DROP UR SUITCASE HUH

don’t tell me he died

oh god he didn’t die-

WHATS THE MATTER THEN

you guys are so sensitive can’t get hurt at all

always going like OH SHIT I NEEDA GO TO THE HOSPITAL

“cant even make an instant noodle” that’s why we admire u lmao

ok chill u just spilled it

you look so cute when u pissed at urself shxbsbc

ah thanya u r so cool

HERE IT IS THE HEALTHY MARRIAGE I WAS SEARCHING IN THIS SERIES OMFG

“lack of communication can even break apart the most loving relationship” SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PPL IN GHE BACK

COMMUNICATION, WHAT A LOVELY WORD

this series is fulfilled now

i could listen to these two forever

i cant with leo and fiat fcstvhjfftc

don’t act like the shy bitch now u stoopid

this is hard to watch ew

khom being a philosopher of love fxtvjbj

he didn’t just leave his i miss u

yall tryna get drunk with my heart

STOP CRYINGGGGG

im gon suffocate

stop i didn’t start this show to murder myself

pls calm ur face u look so aggressive

i wonder how many times tharn talked to sleeping type in those 7 years

u r basically talking to a wall

HE WROTE THAT SONG

oh just to be someone to know what ordained is

those blue thingys r so cool

thanks this is everything i needed

doc champ, how long shall i wait

he’s not bald-

did they even cut his eyebrows-

oh monk.

didn’t they shoot these scenes during rona-

those r some fire makeup skillz

HE DID NOT

YOURE SIMPLY PLAYING WITH HIS HEART

WHATDIDHESAYYYY

officially ripped my heart into pieces

that was definitely not a kiss kiss

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