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skaluli · 1 year

Note

people are a lot more critical of eddsworld on tumblr so if u wanna just go off and post a whole college essay of ur criticisms then dont worry about getting eaten alive for it or anything lol

lmao sure king, i know youre probably thinking of the "criticisms of eddsworld" post that i had in my drafts but i need to finish that. instead so nobody is hungry, ill post the script of me "the end of the eddsworld discord server" here and honestly i have always felt safer here. i left twitter because of certain people and certain feelings. mental health is shit and my paranoia is shitter.

The End of the Eddsworld Discord Server

(A script by skaluli for a video that never came out and probably wont.) click" Keep reading" to begin. its kinda long? and has some pictures. (Also afterwards are extra screenshots from the discord that didnt fit into the video itself.)

Well- Cuts to - yes im using the dementia music, this video was supposed to come out before or even close after the closure of the server. Stuff happened and I’m tired. Please excuse what I say that may not matter anymore. I just want to get a video out and it starts by pushing this. ZZZZZZZZ. Happy Halloween or Christmas honestly it could be either.

I suppose it was going to happen at some point, it’s finally the end of the eddsworld discord server. Well expect for the patrons, they still get to do whatever lol. If you’re not in the loop, eddsworld had a discord server, to sum it up it was a place to converse with fellow edd-heads and well isn’t amino. But of course, it doesn’t come out with its own flaws. I mean there was a whole twitter account to showing the weird side of it. It’s over, the eddsworld discord is dead. Whatever the fuck all this is, is gone. Originally this was going to be made a few days before the closure of the discord but I got busy. Busy to the point where the discord server closed like a month ago [THAT’S SO FUNNY SKALULI ITS BEEN EVEN MORE MONTHS] and I’ve only started this script now. It’s called poor time management, don’t be me. [AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA] So, let’s just attempt to bullet point this stuff. Also warning now, I might not have screenshots of everything and I can’t get anything else because well paywall, and even if I did pay, I don’t even know if the original chat still exists. AAAAAA, anyway. I guess I shall start with the “paywall”. So as you know or maybe didn’t or didn’t hear what I said before, the eddsworld server technically didn’t close, just to access the chats and stuff you have to be a patron. But listen kings we get the bloody announcements and twitter feed, yeAHHH. Ahem. Some questions being asked were along the lines of, well why didn’t you just make a separate patron server. Therefore, people not paying still get a somewhere to talk to other eddsworld fans under moderation. Of course, many questions like that and more being asked because well this kinda came out of nowhere. One of the issues is the fact that nobody was answering any of the questions being asked. Avoiding it essentially. Saying things out of the blue, I assume to try and calm the scenario that was created.

Which well got people angry, because well they have a reason to, and you can not deny that. But the thing is the anger got so out of hand that people just started death threating mods. A big note I have to make is that the mods, the crew of which is not Chris or Matthew, and or any of the pateron supporters had a choice in this. They most likely didn’t even know it was coming. You shouldn’t death threat mods and not even just mods just other patreon supporters. [I don’t have screenshots of this but im going by word of someone who said that that was happening to them.] You don’t need me telling you this, it’s basic knowledge. But you do know why they’re doing it though. Because what do you expect by suddenly taking a once-free community and putting a pay-wall over it. Of course people are going to be upset and lash out, even to these extremes. Yes the mods don’t deserve to get treated like this, but they’re getting treated that way by the fans in this case because of what you did. You being Chris and or Matthew. And you yourself not answering on behalf of mods. Leaving themselves having to speak for themselves on a situation that they had no control over. Having to dose the fires of a fire they didn’t even start. An issue being said that the server was getting to out of hand, so it’d just be easier to do what they did [kill the server]. But then why don’t you just hire more mods to manage the community you created? Who knows.

Also not to put my own opinion in here but I kept seeing messages being like “Edd wouldn’t have wanted this” what the fuck. No offense but don’t say that, never say that. Stop. Just pretty please don’t try to speak on behalf on a man that’s been dead for over a decade and act like you would know what he would have wanted. Sorry for the tangent just I see this happening when whatever happens and kids commenting “Edd wouldn’t have wanted this.” Please shush.

Listen I hate kids, I know they can be dumb as shit, I mean after just hearing all that especially. But also, at the end of the day I care about them and if they like and feel safe in the hell of the eddsworld server than you shouldn’t take it away from them. I understand that fan servers are being made but oh god my paranoia of something going wrong since it doesn’t have “trusted moderation” I’m not sure how to put it. It was really only the official safe space to communicate with other eddheads. I just worry that there will be some with ill intentions. I think you can allow me to think that at this point.

And to end it all off, you know how the server’s purpose was just to keep patron content to patrons.

Damn that sure did work.

-cut-

[Note I didn’t write this “now” I wrote this a few days after I mashed this script together.] Okay originally the script ends there on a somewhat snarky remark but while pacing I thought about how I want to make sure my point gets across. I make these videos to help and not harm, by saying that I mean there seems to be a lack of communication between the fans and the crew. And personally, myself I want to try and make a bridge between the two, my own attempts being to show each side and see everything through a different view. Not only I criticize the fans because I want them to improve, I criticize eddsworld because I want the same out of them. Neither is better than the other.

Bonus readout:

Also a request for someone:

Vine thud and then cat thumbs up

END OF SCRIPT

do note that sometimes i change things while recording and dont edit it into the script since well im supposed to be the only one who sees it and says it blah blah.

i have many other various screenshots i took before the discord closed, as i didnt know exactly what i'd need for the video.

here you can have them:

finally the dates of the files since i last touched them: word doc:

audio:

sony vegas:

if you need any clarification on what i mean or say just ask /gen most times i just word things in a way so i can understand it because my brain is fucked.

only thing that isnt here is the audio i recorded for the video and the beginning of the edit of the video. you dont need to hear my voice.

if you need anything else ill be around. i have other screenshots of various other things.

even something that i dont think the person knows anyone got a screenshot of.

anyway im tired like always and forever, i need to work on it. maybe actually take my meds lmao. thank you eddsworld tumblr for allowing criticism of the show. have a good rest of your life.

#eddsworld #eddsworld discord server #ew #video essay #eddsworld criticism #matt hargreaves #christopher bingham #eddsworld controversy #eddsworld discourse #ew discourse #i think thats all the tags idk

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eleanorfenyxwrites · 2 years

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Random Idea junk drawer

So I had a great time doing my Wangxian-centric Breath of the Wild AU last year, and when I finished it I definitely left the epilogue open-ended enough to do more Zelda AU’s/Fusions in the future (I still don’t REALLY know how big the difference is between AU’s and Fusions and which one my other-content-inspired stuff usually counts as but I DIGRESS) because here’s the thing. The Thing(TM). Zelda games are my JAM. They were baby’s first special interest. Literally.

When I was 7 years old my parents bought a GameCube and a game disk that had 4 remastered Classic Zelda games on it (two 2D, two 3D) as well as a 20-minute playable demo for Wind Waker, with three different starting locations to choose from that you could play as many times as you wanted. And you bet my little 7-year-old ass played every bit of it that was within my skill level (which was not much lol), until I got my next Zelda game at 10 (that was Twilight Princess, and it was the first Zelda game I ever finished). I have the Wii walkthrough book for Twilight Princess that I bought used online and it reeked of cigarettes for months after I got it. I chose a screenshot of one of the characters out of it to paint on one of those horrible school industrial ceiling tiles in my 8th grade art class (sadly the photo of it is lost on an old dead phone, but it was really good, I mixed up all my own custom colors of paint and everything which was like. Impressive for 13 year old me :( ). I have and treasure the Hyrule Historia book. I had shitty ill-fitting graphic tees that said things like ‘Good things come to those who break clay pots’ (really funny to me now that I’m a ceramicist and could easily make pots for myself for the purpose of smashing if I were so inclined [I’m totally gonna]). I have massive Zelda tattoos on the insides of both forearms and I’m planning more so that I’ll hopefully end up with two Zelda half-sleeves. Like ZELDA IS MY THING. WHY I’m not writing more Zelda AU’s and playing around in my expanded sandbox of hyperfixations, I have no idea.

But anyway, I’ve started playing Ocarina of Time again, I have no idea how many times I’ve played it at this point within the last 19 years, and I’ve done it on every Nintendo console possible (except, ironically, the N64 as it was originally made for). So obviously I’m playing along and getting lost in the story because it’s a fuckin good story, as one does, and I was like ‘hey what if Wangxian tho’ and thus. Today’s junk drawer was born. Have I already started an outline of the fic plot points as well? Yes. Did I have to stop myself 800 words in and say that no I can’t just write out the entire plot tonight and no it can’t all go into this junk drawer post because I should actually just write the damn thing instead? Yeah. When will that happen? I don’t wanna think about it, so let’s just have fun talking characters and locations and their implications, shall we?

I’m going to post my notes completely unedited and let y’all see the whole ugly process, and I’m gonna put it below the cut because this is already long enough to scroll past but all I’ve done is gush about Zelda and in doing so further cement my well-established status as a huge fuckin nerd lol:

Jiangs/Lotus Pier as Kokiri Forest -- Deku Tree is Jiang Fengmian (Does this make Madam Yu the giant nasty spider inside????? ew)

- Wei Wuxian -- taken into LP/Kokiri Forest as a young child, young enough to fit in with the other children, but he'll soon be old enough for everyone to know that he isn't one of the lake/river children, he's from Elsewhere. - Jiang Cheng as Mido, small and angry and won't let anyone see JFM/YZY without really fucking good reason but also takes the leadership role in LP/Kokiri Forest once JFM/Deku Tree is dead - Jiang Yanli as Saria, gentle and sweet and fond of music and wandering through the woods that keep their lake hidden from the rest of the world. She'll awaken as a Sage in WWX's adulthood.

Cloud Recesses as Hyrule Castle, Lans are the Royal Family and Sheikah combined

- Lan Qiren as the king of Hyrule, though as the second brother he's supposed to be leading the Sheikah, not sitting on the throne - Lan Xichen (already in his 20's) as Impa. He'll awaken as a Sage in WWX's adulthood. Although he's supposed to be in line for the throne, someone has to be the leader of the Sheikah since LQR can't be, which leaves: - Lan Zhan as Princess Zelda -- plagued by dreams and visions of evil coming to take over the world, but no one takes him seriously because he's still so young. People also forget that in the line of succession he's supposed to be the one protecting the royal family as the next leader of the Sheikah, so it's actually his destiny to have these visions, not to be a politician. He sees in Wei Wuxian someone who's willing to break the rules and society's expectations to be the true hero he's been dreaming about. He'll take up the extremely active role of Wangji/Sheik as an adult, having learnt the Sheikah secrets under Lan Xichen's tutelage and taken up his rightful place as one of them since his escape from the palace as a child.

Kakariko Village -- inhabited by average people (akin to Caiyi town, close with the royal Lan family but not directly cultivators?)

Nies as Gorons in Death Mountain/Goron City/Nie Fortress

- Nie Mingjue as Darunia -- hot-tempered and built like the mountain, willing to swear brotherhood with the boy who came to save his people. He'll awaken as a Sage in WWX's adulthood. (NHS as the snot-nosed kid who hero-worships WWX in adulthood? lol)

Jins/Jinlintai as Zora's Domain -- The Zora are a proud people who live high above the rest of Hyrule at the top of their waterfall (tower). (Golden Carp Tower has a lot of water motifs and they decorate things in teal and gold like the zora do too)

- Jin Guangshan as King Zora - Jin Zixuan as Princess Ruto, eaten by their deity god (who is still a giant fuckin fish, I dunno what else he could be lol) and who thinks he has to be engaged to WWX after giving him the Sapphire (maybe because he was told from a young age he'd have to get engaged to one of the lake children anyway and just didn't know who/hint at unrealized Xuanli?) He'll awaken as a Sage in WWX's adulthood. - Jin Guangyao as (????? :( :( :( where will my boy go?? I need my boy for emotional support)

Wen Ruohan as Ganondorf -- a cruel king wreathed in shadow and flame....I mean it writes itself lol

- Baoshan Sanren as Rauru, the Sage of Light -- withdrew from the mortal world an unknowable amount of time ago to protect the Sacred Realm and has watched over WWX these last seven years as he slept. - Jiang Yanli as Saria, the Sage of Forest -- she awakens into her powers to protect her childhood friend/brother(s), though this will mean having to leave Jiang Cheng on his own in Lotus Pier - Nie Mingjue as Darunia, the Sage of Fire -- he awakens as a sage to honor the Brotherhood oath he swore with WWX in the past - Jin Zixuan as Princess Ruto, the Sage of Water -- he 'dumps' WWX because he has to do the more important work of stopping the apocalypse, try to contain your disappointment WWX, you can still be coworkers and save the world or whatever, if you even care. - Lan Xichen as Impa, the Sage of Shadow -- Lan Xichen must leave the mortal world behind to take up his mantle as the Sage of Shadow, leaving Lan Wangji to carry his worldly responsibilities instead (sort of half-retreating into seclusion like canon) - Wen Qing as Nabooru, the Sage of Spirit -- Wen Qing is the leader of the all-female band of Gerudo thieves who in no way endorse Wen Ruohan's domination of the world. When she leaves to take up her role as the Sage of Spirit, she leaves her cousin Wen Yun (my OC Madam Lan) to lead the Gerudo in her stead. (need to find a role for Wen Ning? Except zelda lore is that only one man is born to the Gerudo at a time every hundred years and he’s always their king. Maybe WN is meant to be the new one but WRH has reached immortality/won’t die and let him succeed him?)

Plot would follow Ocarina of Time fairly closely (Unlike my BOTW AU where I tried to make it...relatively more like canon??) because there's a very definite plot there, while BOTW is so much more fluid it was easier to adapt to something else.

#the untamed fanfic #wangxian #random idea junk drawer #so called because all these ideas rattle around in my head like pens and shit in a junk drawer #not because i think my ideas are junk #Ocarina of Time AU #no title for this baby yet but 'quqin of time' or 'dizi of time' just don't have the same flow ya know?#Oh also adult LWJ (in the role of Sheik) 100% uses his spiritual guqin to play music instead of Sheik's lapharp #and WWX uses chenqing instead of an ocarina #but chenqing isn't made of resentment she's just a spiritual tool

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sanchoyo · 3 years

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danny phantom, season 3 episodes 3-6 thoughts!

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-johnny was actually pretty civil with danny and left when he asked! thats nice. also, SKULKER?? HAD A FRAMED PICTURE OF EMBER?? oooo fuck wait had they established they were a Thing Before?? I dont think so. thats weird. its like that country boy/goth girl meme lmfao. I think i am going to choose to ignore this new info and pretend I didnt hear it. 100% unrelated to the jazz/ember fanart I already drew and posted....😳

-LADIES NIGHT EPISODE THIS IS WHAT ITS ALL ABOUT. wish it didnt really center around the guys or them being pissed at them, but. willing to bet this was written by men lol

-THEY ERASED ALL THE MEN??? meanwhile, jack and danny are fishing at. silent hill or something. im glad jack is trying to read a parenting book and making an Attempt. (theyre at lake erie, but, they made it actually eerie...thats fun)

-the girls alt outfits...cute. EMBER MADE A NEW SONG TOO!!! kinda. jazz being one of the backup singers and being AWFUL. NOOOO

-'how are we going to get kitty to blow a kiss?' 'she'll have to think there are still some males in town!' ...i dont know how to break it to you, but I dont know that a 100% het girl would wish for all men to Begone. I think. I mean im not a het or a girl so I dont really know for sure. she Is probably Bi tho. esp having the other ladies in town chanting NO MEN!!! excitedly............(then again, the kiss is to get Rid of men, so, she probably would have blown it at the ladies only if they were actively trying to attack/stop them, so...I MEAN. THE DRESSING LIKE DANNY BIT WAS SO EXTRA)

-I feel like an all female cast ep couldve been way way way way cooler than that was. like. why was it still somehow all about Men. ...anyway. (where was valerie...)

-next ep opens with the observants, and, way way more of them than I expected...existed? I mean I guess them being a council/jury of some kind is what I expected from their first appearance (bc at that time they were basically TELLING clockwork to kill danny, not asking,, so I figured they had SOME kind of authority) but. there were so many. anyway, here goes vlad! letting his own hubris go brrrr. releasing a weather ghost for political gain! #justvladthings

-okay say what you will about him (he IS an asshole) but having an umbrella with his own face on it and more prepared to share is SUPER FUNNY. and him being fanned by huge wads of money by his bodyguards. SO ineffective but so Dramatic. He UNDERSTANDS that if youre rich you need to be. you know. obnoxious and kinda eccentric about it! fuckign hate when rich people are boring about it. I would trust vlad with nothing except to not be a boring rich asshole who wears...fucking khaki or some shit. man knows his Presentation Skills. and that 'V' chair in his mayoral office. is that fucking embroidered?

-maddie get your MAN PLEEEEASSSE. IM SO EMBARRASSED FOR HER. the way jack stays simping for this man. in FRONT OF HIS WIFE!!!! ...my god its like a love triangle. jack clearly loves vlad, who loves maddie, who loves jack. jack fenton is at the very least bi, right................. this is an OBSESSION . 'THE V MAN COMETH'???? i...my god. (also, on a serious note, to have a friend THIS SUPPORTIVE...and still be SUCH A DICK TO HIM (TRYING TO KILL HIM AND STEAL HIS WIFE??) NOT COOL VLAD. JACK IS YOUR 1 AND /ONLY/ HYPE MAN. if someone loved and supported me THIS HARD...LIKE. CMON DUDE.

-STOMP the fucking GAS, JACK

-this would make a great shirt design, looks like a metal band design! we love The Maelstrom

-oh, so vlad did in fact get a mansion in amity park. and its purple! good color choice! not as flashy as a CASTLE or MURDER CABIN, but still pretty eccentric, which I appreciate.

-...vlad knows the difference between picasso and da vinci? in the ep last post where we were watching him fail at conquering every historical time ever he didnt seem to know history well enough to like. be effective...was vlad taking art history at college?? (was he an art MAJOR??? we never DID KNOW WHAT HE WENT TO SCHOOL FOR. I kinda assumed business because in the masters of time ep he was still rich without ghost powers so he had to have..known something about business or something, right...but also, art and or theater FITS HIS PERSONALITY. possibly also something science-y, I guess, but I always felt like he got roped into that, esp how pessimistic he was about the ghost portal in the flashbacks to college, like, i felt like he was just there for maddie and was uninterested/un-invested at the time...)

-THIS GHOST JUST ELECTROCUTED MADDIE (THE CAT) BITCH!! THATS MY FAVORITE MADDIE!!! vlad going after vortex and being ~shocked~ .....WHEN. WHEN WILL YOU LEARN. THAT YOUR ACTIONS. HAVE CONSEQUENCES!!!

-the way this random man with a camera sees the mayor laying in an alley covered in TRASH AND DECIDES TO TAKE A PICTURE HAHAH

*snap* this ones going in my cringe compilation!

-vlad 'if we're going to defeat vortex, we're going to have to do it together!' *immediately dips after dropping danny off in front of vortex* JKASDFHKJHJKN

-DANNY CAN DUPLICATE!!! ...he couldnt even attack with it, but he DID IT!!! INTO (4) OF HIMSELF!!! SO PROUD!!!!!!!!!!

-'THE ROLLER COASTER EMOTIONS OF A TEENAGER THREATEN MY PLANS!' ...0 self awareness of his own dramatic moodiness. incredible, how dumb this man is. its very close to circling around to endearing, if he was less of an asshole. at least its very very funny to see danny shooting him with tiny lightning bolts anytime he's even slightly irritated! vlad you should be nice to danny anyway. this is what you GET

-...making sandwiches and ice cream and playing video games with your nephew is a totally normal thing. WHY is vlad acting like this is the end of the world. if you were a GOOD UNCLE YOU WOULD ALREADY BE DOING THESE THINGS!!! bitch I make my nephew food all the time and dont forget what he does and doesnt like. if u didnt know danny didnt want tomatoes, thats on u. if u, a grown adult, are gonna piss of the 14 yr old by not letting him win, u deserve to have to pay for the arcade machines he ruins because he now has uncontrollable storm powers because YOU THREW HIM INTO A FIGHT WITH THE STORM GHOST. fuck u vlad. paypal me $400,000 while ur at it tho. (also, gamer vlad confirmed)

-VLAD CAN COOK THOUGH???! I assumed he had...people working for him that did that. I mean. billionaires usually dont do that. then again, we've only seen those vultures working for him (and I guess the dairy king was AT his old mansion, but it was never really clarified if he worked there...I think he probably just Hung Out and they Enjoyed Cheeses Together. thats what I think, I dont think a KING would be working for anyone and also the dairy king was nice <3) but then again he would be a private person and we cant have anyone accidentally finding Ghostly Things, so...still, that's hilarious. pour one out for that really cute banana split that got ruined 2 seconds later

-vlad just fucking picking danny up and THROWING HIM AT VORTEX TWICE WITHIN LIKE A MINUTE. JUST ABSOLUTELY LAUNCHING HIM. BITCH THATS MY SON BE CAREFUL!!! HES GOT ORGANS AND THINGS!!!!

-danny seeing those animal commercials and feeling sad is the biggest 2000s throwback so far. i legitimately had to change the channel or walk out of the room when those came on bc id CRY AND BE SAD ABOUT THEM FOR DAYS AFTER. fuck those commercials and fuck that IN THE ARMMMS OF AN ANGELLLL song 😭

-'vlads ego almost got the town destroyed!' yes danny thats the entire episode. the entire series anytime vlad shows up honestly. this episode was just him being really embarrassing the entire time, and, me laughing about it. 10/10 would laugh at him again

-NEXT EP WE HAVE A SHAPESHIFTING GHOST?? I've said it before but shapeshifting is the power I would want when asked those 'what superpower do you want' questions...its the Best power! this guy looks like a homestuck character. ive never read homestuck but thats the vibe

-I love every time we see tuckers family, they are by far the most functional family. and dash has a lil chihuahua!!! named pookie!!! i am crying (I've had 3 chihuahuas, so I am very biased, but...) AND HE WATCHES THE ROMANCE CHANNEL WITH POOKIE. POOKIE I WILL DIE FOR YOU YOU SWEET LITTLE BABY.

-danny can lift a bus! I shouldn't be surprised, but i am proud of my son. hes got lil kid fans. i am going to cry about this

-JAZZ KEEPS A SCRAPBOOK WITH DANNY'S LIL HEROICS AND NEWSPAPER CLIPPINGS!!! we've actually seen it on her floor before, but I didnt realize it was a scrapbook!! thats sooo cute.

-...and danny has to stand there listening to his parents saying danny phantom sucks and is a 'filthy ghost' and calling him egotistical...i am once again stealing their kids!

-THIS GHOST RIPPING JAZZ'S SCRAPBOOK!!! ILL KILL YOU. SHE WORKED HARD ON THAT!!! BITCH

-yes, maddie, the one with red eyes is For Sure Actually Your Son. ignore the, red eyes... (CLEARLY she hasnt watched the other 2 eps where danny has been evil, she doesnt know red eyes= evil!!!)

-'billy fenton'.......................

-danny being stuck as phantom in his own house, no way out is a fucking NIGHTMARE. his parents pointing giant weapons against him and SHOOTING AT HIM. THIS IS A HORROR MOVIE.

-NINE INCH NAILS POSTER.

-this is the most screenshot of all time

-amorpho turning into mr. lancer because hes 'someone no one will want to be around' BUT HES WRONG, I WOULD BEFRIEND AND HANG OUT WITH MR LANCER SO FAST.

-tucker dressing as danny, now I have the full Tucker set of him being sam and also being danny. also saying 'the ghost...uh...RIPPED MY FACE OFF.' and then running. SMOOTH. NOT AT ALL CONCERNING TO ANY PARENTS.

-sam accepts the toast from jack. and then 2 seconds later is like 'why am i eating this.' THIS SHOWS HUMOR IS SO UNEXPECTED SOMETIMES ITS REALLY GOOD. and then the scene after, mr lancer running into his ghost doppelganger and being like 'YOURE GORGOUS' THEN FAINTING. I AM CRYING. AND DASH FAINTING TOO.

-sam disguising herself as danny again to help tucker run from the fentons. but leaving him shirtless in the streets. incredible. 'plEASE DOnt NOTice MY FACELessNESS I MUST LIVE IN EXILE' this episode is destroying me the humor in this show is exactly my brand of corny and cheesy

-the impromtu story made up by danny and amorpho to explain stuff to the fentons. my god they are both such bad liars. but amorpho is a good egg. wish danny wouldnt have said he didnt wanna see him in town again!! I want him to be reoccurring. not that thats gonna matter since I'm almost done with the series, but the idea of this being the Only Time We See him is :(

-NEXT EP SAYS STARRING MARK HAMILL??????!!! hello ! mr . joker....mr. star wars.... I feel like I should be. idk. taking off a hat im not wearing in respect. I shouldnt be surprised tho bc hes in a lot of cartoons as a very good voice actor, and dp has already had a lot of talented ones so I've been looking out for ones I might know, but....mr. hamill....

-sam has her own greenhouse, names all the plants, and says thank you to them (in the languages from where the plants are from) whenever she harvests from them. thats SO cute. and her lil gothy lunch box...

-and danny's lil red fuzzy lined jacket!!! ive said it before but every time the characters get alt outfits im like :D

-danny has ice powers now!!! THATS WHAT FROSTBITE MEANT. HE KNEW SOMEHOW WAY BACK THEN

-THIS SHOW NEVER LETS YOU FORGET VLAD IS A BILLIONAIRE, HUH.

-danny's lil 'holy hibiscus!' first off the 50s batman swearing is hilarious. 2nd. my username is from the flower sanchoyo hibiscus, so, shoutout to ME this ep. hi :)

-EURGH UNDERGROWTH MAKING EVERYONE PLANT ZOMBIES. HIVEMIND PLOTS SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF ME. and this dude made the city SO overtaken so quickly like how long was danny asleep?? oh god

-evil fucked up sam! now the whole trio has gone evil at some point! the voice actress did a really, really good job with making her sound like a zombie...

-frostbite's paws are so so so big compared to danny. oh my god. i want to hug the snow dog...

-the far frozen has an advanced medical stuff!!! very cool. very smart snow dogs

-im so glad danny has a friendly ghost snow dad to explain this new power and teach him!!! this is so sweet. DANNY'S GHOST SENSE WAS A PART OF HIS ICE POWER?? OOOH. COOL. we love a training montage!!!

-danny saying if he cant defeat overgrowth, that he'd want to stay with frostbite...oh my god...do you think this is the first real supportive adult figure in his life (I am NOT counting his parents because they threaten him on the daily even if they dont realize it.) I mean mr lancer is a Teacher, but he was also nice but this is different, but this is a GHOST WHO IS WILLING TO HELP HIM with his powers and also will help him when hes injured and is so so nice and comparatively so much more mature than 90% of the adults in this show!!!! god. dad frostbite is my everything.

-the framing and lighting this episode, and all the angles...they went all OUT and it looks really really good. this is my nightmare scenario, tho. like, FUCK zombies and dead city zones and hivemind shit. and using the humans as 'nutrients for the children' i am going to THROW UP.

-MALEFICENT VIBES WITH THE HORNS AND GREEN EYES! this costume kicks so much ass. sam is now mark hamills daughter, I guess.

-danny's ice powers making his eyes blue!!! thats neat. and him going for the roots underground was SO SMART. i will not stand for danny ever thinking hes stupid, hes SO smart.

almost done with the show... :"( thats a sad thought!!!

#sanchoyorambles #dp thoughts #danny phantom

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tenebriscollective · 3 years

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A Response

First, before we do this, we’re going to take the liberty of posting your entire response to our review that we left. However, I do hope you are aware that we could absolutely tell that you didn’t bother reading through the whole thing. As a lot of what you say in this response is already denied in the review you were responding to. For the sake of those who don’t like long posts, however, we will be putting everything beyond this point under a read more.

The link to the site, so that you can read our original review: https://disboard.org/server/213915266554396672

This is The Megane System’s response, in full. Which we will be taking parts of to go through for our response piece by piece. One can’t say we cut context when we provide the full response and the link back to the server page to show the original review, hm?

The response:

Posting words here instead of talking to me directly like an adult is why I'm not the dangerous one. Really don't care or want anything to do with any of you who value publicly airing dirty laundry as opposed to just talking to me so you can feed your ego feeling like a 'good person'. Sprinkling it with words that sound like understanding mean nothing when you shut down normal communication methods. This kind of cancel culture is emotionally manipulative, predatory and has endangered lives. Life isn't clean and squeaky, neither are you and neither am I. If you can't get your head out your ass long enough to realise this then enjoy your delusions of purity but I assure you everyone you have ever met and ever will meet has had dark thoughts of violence, disturbing imagery and vile emotions. It's part of life, denying that is denying life. I've never 'defended someone sexualising a little alter in the server' and I'm still baffled where the hell that came from?? Everything else was scraped out of personal DMs and my personal spaces I used to manage my BPD away from public spaces and only where people I thought I could trust could see (obviously I couldn't lol) but that I have zero recollection of I think you guys are just having fun giving me horns and trying to deny me any consideration of changing or improving. Because that's what this thinking does. It labels people permanently as 'BAD PEOPLE', and they can't ever grow beyond that. It makes their lives feel worthless, and they themselves beyond saving, and so they end up repeating the same mistakes, because no one expects anything more from them. I know this because I've always tried to break this in how I run my server. With the belief that anyone can become something better, that anyone who believes anything, holds any views can be helped to grow and function better among others. That's why I allow people with 'bad views' around me. That's why I talk to them, that's why I actually spend time treating people as people and not punching bags like you do. You do not help the problems in the world, you merely cement them, so I will never run my server how you want me to, because it is wrong and I won't cave to a bunch of bullies.

We are going to start off to state first addressing the very start of this. But put simply, Megane System (we will be referring to you collectively, since we have a system member who is also called Reiji, and don’t want people to get mixed up), we were never under any obligation to contact you directly. Framing it as if we’re the dangerous one because we didn’t do that is quite manipulative, and honestly quite ironic. Given you never gave us even a seconds moment to communicate before evicting us out of the server when we were still a staff member. We were trying to communicate, but were simply being ignored. The fact that you try now to weaponize this lack of communication as a method to somehow disprove and dismiss our review is honestly hilarious.

Really don't care or want anything to do with any of you who value publicly airing dirty laundry as opposed to just talking to me so you can feed your ego feeling like a 'good person'.

Airing dirty laundry implies that the accusations we outlined in that review weren’t the degree of seriousness that they were. This is honestly also the worst attempt at downplaying what we said we’ve ever seen, but it does show that you clearly didn’t read our review in its entirety, despite there being parts at the end specifically addressed to you and Alec.

Sprinkling it with words that sound like understanding mean nothing when you shut down normal communication methods. This kind of cancel culture is emotionally manipulative, predatory and has endangered lives.

Again, we were under no obligation to use normal communication methods, especially when normal communication methods in the staff room were completely shut down while you maligned everyone in the staff because we didn’t like that you had returned so suddenly and without warning, and knew that the sudden return would not mean good things for those you hurt, who were, at the time, on the server. And honestly, I think it’s emotionally manipulative that you continuously deflected questions while we were in the server about your drama and tried to frame it as something incredibly small, inconsequential, and petty.

Life isn't clean and squeaky, neither are you and neither am I.

We and anyone who has ever called you out never claimed to be. You made this assumption because we called out your behavior which crossed lines that should never have been crossed in the first place.

If you can't get your head out your ass long enough to realise this then enjoy your delusions of purity but I assure you everyone you have ever met and ever will meet has had dark thoughts of violence, disturbing imagery and vile emotions. It's part of life, denying that is denying life.

We are well aware and do not have our head in our ass. But I have never met anyone but you and other awful people who would not only have, but vocalize in detail those thoughts to other people, whether those people were the target of those thoughts or not. I’ve met plenty who write journals irl to get it out, who draw to get it out, or write whump and angst fanfics in order to vent it out in a manner that doesn’t emotionally hurt anyone or suddenly shove those thoughts onto individuals who may not be mentally or emotionally prepared to hear it, even if they have them too or have similarly aligned ones. Again, there was no context that you could ever assign to the screenshot being talked about in this part that would make what you said in anyway ever acceptable, even to those who have intrusive or dark thoughts of violence, disturbing imagery, or vile emotions.

I've never 'defended someone sexualising a little alter in the server' and I'm still baffled where the hell that came from??

We have screenshots and logs that prove the opposite, and I’m sure the person we received them from would not be all that fussed if we asked for them a second time and gave them to either of the blogs that currently have callouts circulating about you. Because you did do this, you may not have recollection of it, but the non-little alters of that system and the one who tried to step in and were stopped by you certainly do.

Everything else was scraped out of personal DMs and my personal spaces I used to manage my BPD away from public spaces and only where people I thought I could trust could see (obviously I couldn't lol) but that I have zero recollection of

And as we stated in our original review, your BPD, your (suspected, but not formally diagnosed) autism, or any other mental illness diagnoses or disorder you may have does not absolve you of the fact that many of the things you did were not okay. Your continued use of “but I have [x mental illness/disability] and was managing it” or “it was personal” will not change our minds on that. We are formally and professionally diagnosed as Autistic, we know you have attempted to excuse your behavior before by saying you might be autistic yourself. Thereby you were attempting to excuse your shitty behavior with being possibly autistic, and excuse your shitty behavior because you have BPD does not fly. Many of the people with callouts against you or who don’t like you either know someone with, or also have BPD/Autism or whatever other mental illness or disability you’re going to try excusing it with next time.

I think you guys are just having fun giving me horns and trying to deny me any consideration of changing or improving.

Another sign you did not fully read our review, or just plain didn’t believe us due to your own assumptions. As we state in the last part that is specifically addressed to you that we hope you are able to change and improve, that you are able to recognize what you did hurt people and was wrong, and that you rectify and show through your actions that you do that. But downplaying all of this as you are as just drama, or just a facet of “cancel culture”, or whatever other thing that makes it sound less significant does not prove that. And so, as of right now, as we respond to this and surely as you continue with your server and trying to twist things to fit your narrative, you have not shown that you have changed or improved.

Because that's what this thinking does. It labels people permanently as 'BAD PEOPLE', and they can't ever grow beyond that. It makes their lives feel worthless, and they themselves beyond saving, and so they end up repeating the same mistakes, because no one expects anything more from them. I know this because I've always tried to break this in how I run my server. With the belief that anyone can become something better, that anyone who believes anything, holds any views can be helped to grow and function better among others. That's why I allow people with 'bad views' around me. That's why I talk to them, that's why I actually spend time treating people as people and not punching bags like you do.

We don’t treat people like punching bags, no matter their views. We treat people as people, even if we disagree, but if those people do not treat us as people in return, it’s harder to feel empathy when they have consequences slap them in the face. I know you’re referring to our rewritten rules here, and I’m sure you’ve trashed them to make your own again, and stopped cracking down so hard on all the usage of slurs in the server once again. And if cracking down on that and keeping to our word about not allowing those on the server is what you see as treating people not as people, then I don’t know what to tell you. Slurs come inherently from bigotry, no amount of “opposing views” erases that those words come from that. Let alone that there are some views that are simply bigotry dressed up in a political hat.

We did talk to those people, we had debates, and we stepped in when people were getting too heated between each other to be considered a debate. Anyone can become better and improve, anyone can make a change to do so. But you can only do that if you put in the effort, and so far, you haven’t done that. You’re all talk, but you haven’t actually walked the walk.

You do not help the problems in the world, you merely cement them, so I will never run my server how you want me to, because it is wrong and I won't cave to a bunch of bullies.

You mean how we want you to run the server in a way that makes sure it’s not a place that lacks solace and allows bigotry to fester under the guise of different views? Or how we want you to make sure that any system littles currently in that server, if they haven’t left already, are protected so that they aren’t sexualized and that you don’t defend the people sexualizing those littles? Because from how we see it, none of those things particularly make us “bullies” like you claim, they just make us considered a decent person who has proper boundaries on what they will and won’t allow, and someone who’s willing to actually enforce them so that members don’t feel uncomfortable or unsafe.

Anyway, as before, we doubt you’ll read all of this, but if you do, here’s a big notice, right in big big italicized letters:

We won’t be responding again, flail all you want, make a fuss, throw a tantrum that we aren’t going to give you the time of day. Because we honestly don’t care. Because we don’t and never have owed you any of our time.

#Beware OtherAdvice #Beware The Megane System #Posts related to callouts #response posts #tenebris collective | ☾ ⚗ 🧬 ☽#💚 Ame #💚 Host

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notquitechaotic · 3 years

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so I’m back online, never thought I would be blogging again but here I am after having to deal with man children and their audacity. and y’know, what better way to deal with yet another misadventure with the male species other than bitching about them?

given that this happened like a day ago, I feel like I’ve cooled down enough to try and talk about it.

screenshots will be included but I would have to blur out the guy’s face (sadly) because of POHA

for some context, I matched with this guy named William (”Will”) on Bumble. I want to say that things kind of went well at first and we exchanged telegram usernames and started talking there instead.

(edit: he has “changed” his alias and is now “Wilford”)

first red flag was the reason he gave after he unmatched with me.

and if anything, I’ve learnt that most of the time when guys like him say that a girl is crazy or “batshit crazy” without elaborating, it’s mostly the guy who is the problematic one and because the girl isn’t reacting the way they want the girl to, the girl would then be “crazy” to fit their “I’m a nice guy” narrative.

I let the matter slide, and I moved on with my day because it was none of my business too. and everything was kind of fine until he accepted my follow request on Instagram.

I’m not that great when it comes to remembering faces but it’s not that bad to the point where I would forget a person’s face completely. So when I realised that he looked different, I asked him.

“my hair diff only” were the exact words he sent so I asked him to sent the photos that were posted on the app.

this was the part where he fucked up lol

I asked him who the person was because when I tapped into the photo of the guy who is in a sauna, it was a screenshot of someone else’s Instagram account.

he said that it was his good friend and they “agreed to exchange photos” (honestly I don’t believe that for a second, the photo he sent is of his friend, blurred it all out in case someone recognises it)

all the while being pushy to meet irl.

if anything, I absolutely hate it when a person lies to me (because I find things out eventually) and I hate it when they are pushy (in this scenario, this guy just flat out reeks of desperation)

at this very point of time, my impression of him hasn’t been all that great, I was starting to feel really uncomfortable, I just didn’t think it would get worse (but I was wrong)

screenshots from here on out have the top cut off because it shows his phone number and again for privacy issues *cough* POHA *cough*, it has to be cropped out.

on hindsight I should have just set the record straight and say that I wasn’t comfortable meeting him instead of trying to imply it because I wasn’t explaining myself right and it just flew right past him.

“don’t you realise texting can be deceiving” and “some is my friend some is mine, I told you honestly already” are two very contradicting sentences. and again, he was being pushy about meeting.

I probably shouldn’t have used “weird” should have outright say that it was sus, but I would say that I was okay/ somewhat comfortable with the idea of meeting him until I realised that he wasn’t being honest. if he can’t even be honest about his own identity, then whose to say that he wouldn’t have ill intentions? so yeah I would say that me being uncomfortable meeting him is justified.

but this is the part where shit hit the fan because he started showing his true colours when he was being met with rejection:

“there’s nothing to be scared about” again, he wasn’t being truthful of his own identity, I think it is fair for me to overthink and be afraid that he has ill intentions and I’m just trying to protect myself. I don’t think I’m wrong for that lol

you can say “go google and stop ignoring the facts” but he can’t even try to link his sources. errr, when Dr Inna Kanevsky roasts people who use psychology to back to talk about things, she includes sources to support what she says.

again, made the mistake of not telling him outright that I wasn’t comfortable but if you scroll up a little bit to the screenshot where he made the contradictory sentence, I did try to imply that I was no longer comfortable meeting him.

he is trying to act all smart and shit but he can’t imply or at the very least, try to infer

“because it’s wrong (referring to him invalidating how I feel)”“how you feel is plain false” hello? I’m not a robot. and I’m pretty sure that there are paid and experienced psychologists and therapists, not just in Singapore but around the world, who would beg to differ with your statement. no one is wrong to feel the way they feel.

yes I did say that I would be more comfortable texting, but I did make it clear that I’m not comfortable meeting him.

“doesn’t change how you were wrong” “you are completely wrong” ok so feeling uncomfortable meeting a guy who was displaying signs that he may potentially be dangerous is wrong. noted with thanks.

(don’t ask me about the copy cat thing though cause I deadass have no clue why that was being sent to me also lol)

I rejected his call, and by then I’ve blocked him because I was too tired to deal with his shit. And I thought it would be the last I heard of him until I swiped down on my notifications and saw that this crazy (he deserves this label by now) called me 5 times

and iMessaged me instead because he couldn’t reach me on Telegram anymore

(what was in the screenshot he sent to me)

“no wonder take so long to graduate”

“lowlife vermin”

“pathetic”

“retard”

“bitch”

“pathetic piece of shit”

(this guy was an NUS student btw)

but I just want to rebut the thing where he said that “it’s a fact you can’t get to know someone by text”

because just based on his outburst and the way he acted and reacted to things, I can kind of tell what kind of a person he is and what his attitude and personality is like:

- he is egoistical (obviously) “I’m a nice guy” type person, can’t handle rejection

- most likely toxic (based on how verbally abusive he was, I wouldn’t be surprised if he verbally abuses a person to bring down their self-esteem before making it seem like the person can not live without him, and thereby trapping the person in a toxic relationship)

- disrespectful (especially towards women)

- and based on everything, he is most likely insecure

update: found out who he is, and this isn’t the first time he’s done this shit and it pains me that I can’t expose his identity

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winnerloser · 4 years

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idk who needed to hear this today but

if you use fanart for anything, you give credit for it.

usually i would just implore you guys to at your own discretion but.

i think sometimes people forget that if you use fanart without explicitly asking for the author’s permission, that's stealing. but obviously no one has ill intent behind it with this hobby, which is why crediting is important. it’s the least you can do.

it doesnt matter how much you use the fanart. even if it only appears on your blog once. even if it’s just a throwaway icon for a gag. even if you replace the icon with new icons from somewhere else. if it was on your blog at some point, and you don’t intend on deleting it, and it’s still on there, you give credit for it.

there’s maybe some leeway if you commissioned the art and/or the artist already cosigned you to using it without giving permission. but that’s the only special instance i can think of.

in that same vein, please just look on artist’s profiles to see if they allow reposting in the first place. if their account says no reproduction/no reposting/DONT USE MY ART.... don’t use it. if the bio is in japanese, chinese, korean, whatever- google translate it. i know google translate can suck but it’ll easily convey what you need to be looking for.

if you’re one to think that you don’t want to use source media like screenshots or mangacaps because fanart is prettier, don’t ignore the fact that the people providing you the luxury to do so are just that- people, who spent hours to draw what could amount to just one or two icons. who could’ve drawn what you were using as a commission for someone else. who more than likely posted the image without any idea what you’re using it for-- more importantly;

without any idea what you’re using the image to represent, what messages you’re trying to convey- with their image. the fact that the subject is a copyrighted character/isn’t theirs doesn’t change the fact that the drawing in and of itself is still their creation.

it would behoove you to start keeping tabs of the sources you intend to pull from. if you see a piece from pixiv you think you’ll consider pulling from- pluck it, save it, so later when you open photoshop you’re not sitting with the pulled image thats titled computer jibberish with no artist’s signature.

YOU KNOW WHAT? i’ll go you one even better than that.

When you save an image from pixiv - this one for example, by default it’ll save it as 78827921_p0_master1200.jpg. 78827921 is the image ID. https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/78827921 will take you back to that image. Plug in any other ID, and it’ll go back to its source. There you go. Easy if you accidentally forgot to keep tabs.

nobody is entitled to the usage of another person’s art, and if you use the excuse that [just by virtue of OP posting it on the internet, it’s free gain], that’s bullshit.

if you post anything- even a text post or roleplay thread- going by that same logic, anyone should be allowed to reblog it, remix it, go to town on it; it’s on the open internet, after all... right? No. you’re entitled to security in the things you post. you don’t really need to say “don’t/ask to reblog” in the tags for people to get the hint to not or ask first if they feel inclined to. if you believe you’re entitled to that comfort and respect, i don’t see why that mindset can’t be translated to fit the situation of artists. even if you don’t give a shit how your stuff gets circulated, at least try to look at it in the way that not everyone is you.

and not everyone is me, so some may be wondering still why they can’t just go ahead and do what they want so long as they’re not hurting people/keeping it lowkey. i mean, at the end of the day, there’s nothing i can do about it either. you can totally do whatever you want, im not denying that. but just know that you’re not 100% in the clear from getting discovered by somebody. you’re not impervious to being found. and reposting/art being used or transformed without credit or consent is a very real reason that artists get upset or even sometimes lock their profiles, delete, or stop drawing/posting, or stop making their art publically available. this is NOT just a western philosophy. asian artists do this just as well- hell, you could even say that some are even more stringent about etiquette when it comes to treating their works with respect. that includes reposting policies.

if you’re too tired/busy/lazy/forgetful/cursed to credit, that’s 100% not an excuse lol. or if you’re thinking, crap, i have all these nicely done assets that i’ve created but it’ll be too difficult to go back and retroactively find the sources!

idk what to tell u but tough titties bro thats a you problem*

uh, so to end this:

再版ポリシーが破られている場合は、お知らせください。すぐに画像を削除します。このブログから利益を得ることも、失礼することも意図していません。再版は許可されているが、クレジットがない場合は、お知らせください。修正いたします。ありがとうございます、失礼します。

如果违反了您的转载政策，请告知我们。我会立即删除图像。它无意从此博客中受益或无礼。如果允许转载，但信用不正确，请告知我们。我会马上改正的。谢谢，不好意思。祝好

this is in my credit’s page at the bottom. i can’t vouch for the japanese, but i can say with more certainty that the chinese is legible. if someone is better at japanese and has any adjustments they’d recommend, please do so! it’s just saying that i don’t intend to cause harm or disrespect by borrowing the artwork, and that at any of the artists’ discretion, whether i’m violating their repost policy or not, they are urged to reach out to me and tell me to remove their art if they don’t want it on my blog. feel free to snatch it and use it for your credits page, or write something similar in lieu of that. i’m 100% in support of that.

please be conscious and considerate of the people who work hard and do a good deal of the heavy lifting for you to be able to make your blog pretty and aesthetic in the first place. i think the bounty of beautiful and high-quality art for the pokemon fandom- or for any popular fandom for that matter- sometimes makes us forget that it isn’t a commodity. it’s something that when taken for granted, can genuinely affect others who work hard to provide content for people to enjoy. at the end of the day, they do this to make themselves and others happy. seeing others take that work without any acknowledgement to them is demoralizing, don’t think that they’ll get enough recognition from others to compensate for you. that’s frankly not how posting art on social media works at all.

i mean, even if this doesn’t convince you, i can only hope it’ll spur you to be more conscious in the future.

*i get that things happen and this isn’t meant to shame you if you happen to be one to do any of the things other than credit. but know that you don’t... really have an excuse when there’s so many different options, shortcuts and alternatives available to you. you don’t really cite from a shitton of different sources for your paper and then go back to pick through every individual quote to find where it came from to avoid plagiarizing. you just.. make a note or works cited. it takes like, 15 extra minutes. if you’re going to spend hours on photoshop or writing fancy infoposts, you can spend an extra 15 making a works cited.

#i dont know why i woke up so pressed this morning #me: oh boy 3 am (gets on my soapbox)#anyway. ..lol #im gonna repeat thiss for the day because im insufferable but im going back to sleep #also no this isnt vaguing at anyone at all i literally just woke up and was like oh.#this is a thing that happens.#i do implore you to rb this but im not going to hold it against anyone if this just ends up being a drop in the ocean #🌱. giant rat that makes all the rules. > MUN #long post

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dabistits · 5 years

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in the blood: connecting the backstories

With the arc concluded and what I imagine is pt 1, the pre-AFO bits, of Tomura’s backstory revealed, I thought I’d finally sum up one of the major points of this plot. Scattered throughout the arc were three major backstories—Himiko, Twice, Tomura—that could use some piecing together. It doesn’t seem like they were chosen at random or were primarily subordinated to good timing, and instead were written because they parallel and reinforce certain themes in Tenko’s past.

Here’s my typical disclaimer that these connections may not have been intentional at all, but, y’know. We’ll pretend Horikoshi is a competent writer and etc. etc. Of course, there’s also the question of what conclusion all these narrative threads points us towards, and I’m chronically afraid of making a wrong prediction so I won’t do that on this post lols (it’s also not 100% clear, which I’ll address). Nevertheless, I think it adds significance to consider Tomura’s past with the addition of framing it through the other two backstories, considering what they say about Quirks, society, and the characters’ internal processes about where they fit in the overall scheme of things.

(note: some screenshots below the cut contain mild gore!)

I. Quirk repression

We encounter this for the first time in the MLA arc through Himiko. Although we’re not privy to Himiko’s thoughts during the flashback, Curious makes an assertion that Redestro later repeats: that Quirks can, to some degree, influence a person’s disposition. Transform elicited in Himiko a desire to drink blood (in order to develop a bond of closeness), which was largely viewed as deviant, and she was pressured to suppress not only her impulse, but her Quirk as well. This idea of Quirk=disposition is also repeated with Tomura, who Redestro asserts is only capable of destruction.

Without being told Himiko’s perspective in the flashbacks, we don’t know how her experience with suppressing her desires went, nor whether she experienced any adverse physical effects from doing so. Tomura, however, is clearly stated (by AFO, so it’s worth taking with a grain of salt) to experience unbearable itchiness whenever he represses his urge to destroy, a sensation which only seems to abate when he uses Decay. So for the moment, the message seems quite clear: suppressing one’s Quirk is akin to suppressing one’s self, and even more drastically, there may be physical consequences to doing so.

On the flip side of Quirk repression, then, there’s Quirk liberation. That’s what the Metahuman Liberation Army is going for, of course, but the three characters discussed here also found relief through their Quirks: Himiko in finally shattering her mask, Twice creating his crime gang, and Tenko eliminating that which he hated. Embracing their Quirks is portrayed as a way in which they achieved not only emotional pleasure and fulfillment, but agency as well—an increase in control over their own lives and fates—finally allowing themselves to do what they were “meant” to. This is, supposedly, a move which empowers oneself.

II. Quirk trauma

But that’s not entirely true.

Just as Quirks can be liberating, they're shown to be harmful when used without restraint, turning against their wielder and instilling suffering. Twice’s clones eventually went out of control and began to fight each other for claim to the original, and Tenko’s Quirk awakening killed his entire family. Both experienced trauma involving the people closest to them, Twice being confronted with “his own” betrayal, while Tenko witnessed the deaths of his family at his own hands—in the aftermath, they’re both left completely and utterly alone, abandoned by those they believed they could rely on, with uncertain recollection about how events actually transpired.

Then it’s no coincidence either that Twice’s and Tomura’s chapters focus on arriving at the truth of their traumas. Twice, after having spent an indeterminate length of time trapped in the uncertainty of his own realness, is forced into confronting his fear of disappearing after Skeptic orders his arms broken; in surviving this, he’s able to confirm that he’s the original Twice, once and for all. Tomura is likewise pushed into recalling his repressed memories (let’s assume right now that they’re the real memories) as his last connections to his family—their hands—are destroyed one by one.

It’s through the discovery of this truth after being confronted with their greatest fears or insecurities that they’re able to embrace the full strength of their Quirks, returning to a default, ‘pre-trauma’ state. Twice is able to create doubles of himself once more, and Tomura becomes able to unleash a stronger version of Decay. While Himiko’s case is much less drastic, the new characteristic of Transform also seems to be linked to her reaffirmation of her ‘truth’ as well. Those ‘truths’ may sound positive or negative, motivated most obviously by self-preservation in Himiko’s case, self-actualization(?) in Tomura’s case, or protective instinct in Twice’s.

Personally, I place a lot of (if not most) importance on Twice’s motivation in this arc, because his past and desires most strongly encapsulate the themes we see repeated across all of these backstories:

III. Alienation and belonging

Perhaps the strongest thread that pervades these three stories (and Spinner’s too, which we have less to go on at the moment) is the feeling of alienation. The four of them found themselves constantly rejected by those around them: Spinner due to prejudice, Twice never getting support nor sympathy after being orphaned, and Himiko and Tenko in particular being denied by their own families, both of them compelled to stifle their own desires, whether it be to pursue her instincts or to voice his dreams. They were positioned as outsiders, set apart from everyone else.

That’s why I believe it’s significant that one of the primary purposes of this arc seems to be to bring the LOV more closely together, from Spinner’s questioning and renewed loyalty, to a central conflict of this arc plot being a rescue (among other schemes from the MLA, of course), to giving the LOV a way out of the aimlessness from the beginning of the arc. Of course, past alienation and present cohesiveness also contrast each other as narrative foils, and this is most clearly exemplified in Twice’s chapters because he’s babey, which more extensively linger on his feelings towards his current situation and friends, who he sees as a remedy to the loneliness of his past.

The other characters haven’t offered the same reflection towards the LOV, but it’s not a stretch to say that the group provides them with something that wider society could not. People who accept Himiko’s “normal,” who enable her to pursue her love (for good or ill); who take Spinner seriously despite being a mutant with a “useless” Quirk; and to some degree, even Tomura seems to have achieved what he once wanted. Tenko was a child who made friends with lonely kids, who wanted to be a hero, presumably to save others, but was rejected by his family at every turn and had no one save him at a time when he needed it most. And even though his life as Shimura Tenko is long gone, Tomura currently finds himself as the leader of a group of outcasts who are looking out for him, fighting through a small army to save one of their own. The irony is poetic.

IV. Tragedy or Agency?

Which begs the question: what do we do with this information and how do we interpret these characters? Are they just cruel and unrepentant villains, or should we sympathize with them as people rejected by a prejudiced society? Really, this arc offers room for both readings.

At one end, we have Himiko and Tomura, who view their decisions to become ‘villains’ as liberatory. Whether or not certain painful events in their lives affected their choices seems to matter very little to them, or perhaps those events were even a blessing for leading to the choices they made. They decided to embrace their natures even if those traits were violent, distrusted, and societally shunned, and they do not consider this eventuality as particularly unfortunate. Himiko rejects Curious’ interpretation of her life as pitiable, and Tomura likewise asserts to himself that he’s untroubled by the deaths of his family. They both represent their pasts as not a tragedy.

On the other hand, we have Twice, whose backstory chapter bears the maxim that also appears on the cover page of vol 24, and thus has the privilege of setting the tone for a major portion of this arc: “All it takes is one bad day.” Twice’s backstory (ironically enough) reads uniquely more self-aware than the others’, both about his own decisions, and about the conditions surrounding him (i.e. how other people’s decisions affected him). He was aware of the way others viewed him and how that caused his alienation—best exemplified by how disposable he was at his workplace—and of his reasons for pursuing a “solution” that only dug a deeper hole.

Thus, we have the “one bad day” part of the narrative. Twice, who was orphaned early on and isolated from his peers, got into a motorcycle accident with one of his firm’s clients. His boss hits him and fires him, leaving Twice aimless until he comes up with the idea to Double himself. Twice’s backstory interprets "one bad day” as a truism about instability, particularly in a society which appears to have few safety nets and a lot of prejudice—essentially, the chapter posits that one incident of bad luck can put someone on a worse path, especially when people act in their own interest instead of in sympathy or aid. Okay. See where this is going?

We’re presented with two narratives here: that ‘bad paths’ are either predetermined by an individual’s disposition and are liberating to embrace, or they are often the result of an individual’s circumstances and influenced by other people. Nature versus nurture. The arc does not definitively come down on either side, so I’ll stick to observations and limit on drawing conclusions.

Tenko’s backstory also fixates on a day. The turning point in his life was the day his parents’ rejection of his aspirations culminated in physical violence from his father, setting off the chain of events that led to Decay’s awakening and killing his family; in the aftermath, he was also further alienated in a busy city where no one stopped to help him until he was conveniently ‘found’ by AFO. The “one bad day” lies in the fact that Tenko was entirely salvageable; neither his hatred nor his fractured relationship with his family were conclusive in a five year old’s state of mind, and they both could have been remedied if they had the chance.

So that leaves us with two different takeaways. Can Tenko be thought of as having taken a turn for a better, more self-actualized existence—a not-tragedy—or was it indeed a set of circumstances that should rightfully be considered unfortunate because it was fixable? The resolution of this arc seems to come down pretty firmly on the side of the first interpretation: by embracing his destructive ‘nature,’ Tomura has awakened the full scope of Decay’s power, subdued the Meta Liberation Army, and gained their resources—he’s more influential than ever before, and he’s put himself at an advantageous position to take down hero society. So, clearly his internal monologue must be self-aware, because the narrative is rewarding him for embracing his purpose.

V. The League of Villains and Self-Destruction

But I do have a caveat to add, and it has to do with self-destruction. I’ve talked about Tomura and self-destruction, but that’s not really just a tendency limited to him. It proliferates in most (if not all?) of the LOV members, in more or less obvious ways. Spinner’s crisis of self-worth and subsequent seclusion was arguably self-destructive, as is Mr. Compress’ tendencies to run away from conflict. These are more metaphorical and without much elaboration yet. On the other hand, for a more literal take, there is Dabi, who burns himself alive whenever he uses his Quirk.

Himiko’s is somewhat a mix of both figurative and literal. Transform lets her take on someone else’s appearance, and she has an obsession with ‘becoming’ her objects of affection; it follows that if taken to the extreme and if she’s successful in 'becoming,’ she erases her own identity in the process. It’s no different than the ‘mask’ she assumed until middle school; she trades one mask for another, more appealing one, and her own ‘self’ is what gets destroyed.

Then there’s Twice. Double first started off as something that gave him comfort when he found himself utterly alone, but from there only lead to even more mistakes. Using his doubles to commit crimes as an ‘easy out,’ every decision Twice made thereafter piled on to conclude in his doubles’ murderfest. What began as comfort became the conduit for his own, literal, self-destruction as his doubles turned on each other.

Similarly, by the end of 239, Tomura has fully unleashed Decay. Like the first time he used it, he found it liberating, a release for all the emotions he experienced and repressed. Much like the rest who embraced their Quirks, it was a source of pleasure and comfort, but not without consequences: as shown by the damage one to his right arm, his body can’t sustain that kind of use. Decay too much, and there will be blowback in the form of starting to injure himself. It is, again, a form of literal self-destruction.

VI. To conclude:

The arc ends on a firm note about Tomura’s growth, and the direction thereof, concluding that Quirks affect innate drives which our antagonists have accepted and been rewarded for; however it follows on the heels of contradicting points about how that very acceptance and overindulgence ends in self-destruction. Our antagonists have been strongly linked together via backstory, highlighting the similar sources of conflict they’ve experienced. Familial strife, instinctive drives, the price of overindulgence, and the indifference of society are all elements that deeply influenced these characters, and their stories are continuations of how they conceptualize these elements with respect to their own senses of self. Again, assuming that we’re dealing with a competent writer, we can assume that these themes will be revisited as the story continues; namely, addressing to what degree a Quirk determines a person’s future (ideally, there should be a convergence of the messages brought up in this arc with those brought up with Shinsou and Monoma), coming to a resolution about the disputes of personal versus societal responsibility, and deciding how the narrative itself feels and wishes to convey about our antagonists and their struggles.

#shigaraki tomura #bubaigawara jin #toga himiko #shimura tenko #tomura shigaraki #jin bubaigawara #himiko toga #bnha meta #for those who want to know what to expect #2.4k words and 6 parts lulz...

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modesty-blaise · 5 years

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Since I'm curious, what caused you to become very possessive of your gifs? Not out of rudeness but curious, since no matter what you do a lot of them show up in the gif function on Tumblr which automatically credits you at the bottom of the gif.

Hey. Tbh, at first I didn’t wanna bother with yet another anon but since I see no ill intent behind this, I decided to go and answer it. Unfortunately, half-way through I realised my reply is turning into incredibly long semi-bitter rant and expands well beyond calling out just one person in Psychonauts fandom (and yes, this is related to Psychonauts fandom – you do know that these anons are not really that anonymous, right?) so… buckle up! All that beneath “read more”.

I’ve been on this hellsite for like…7-8 years? Maybe more? Can’t really tell cause I moved blogs and my old blog now consists of only 4 posts I’ve made close to leaving so I honestly have no idea how much time I’ve spend here before moving. Anyway, during those few years I’ve spent on my first blog I’ve met a lot of creative gifmakers who enjoyed sharing their love for fandoms they were in. I’d like to point out that this was waaaaay before tumblr created that insert-gif option so, back in the day, the only way to add gifs to your post was to: 1. make them yourself 2. take them from someone else. And a lot of people were taking them from someone else which resulted in many gifmakers giving up on making gifs and leaving fandoms and/or even leaving tumblr – and I’ve had many of my friends give up on what they love and have their games/shows/movies/whatnot ruined for them cause people would not stop stealing from them. And many of my friends eventually left tumblr cause they couldn’t deal with it anymore.

Tumblr adding insert-gif option, in my opinion, honestly, just made it worse for gifmakers. Cause now people had the opportunity to use gifs for their posts, with or without creators’ permission/knowledge, but it was alright and it was perfectly fine cause creators were credited. There’s their name at the bottom. It’s alright. Like… it doesn’t matter if they’re actually okay with people using something they’ve put hours into making or if they’re not – tumblr gives them credit so they SHOULD be okay with it. Simple as that.

Well, we’re all different and some people are not okay with that. I’m not okay with that. It took me weeks to figure out how to use photoshop correctly. Took me countless hours of looking through different tutorials and basically trial-and-error-ing my way through the process. Whenever I make gifs, it takes me hours to record videos and then hours trying to achieve that 3mb limit on gifs (thank lord these days we’re beyond 1mb limit). After all that effort I put into creating gifs for games that I love and enjoy, someone is going to make 2 clicks and have that same gif added to their post, without even asking. So how is that okay?

Back to your question. Yes, “no matter what you do a lot of them show up in the gif function on Tumblr”, that is true and that is something I was aware of when I saw you-know-who announcing they would be starting 30 days Psychonauts challenge. So, hating to see my gifs used against my will, and not wanting to start any unnecessary drama and threaten people in advance with reporting them if they do use them, I’ve made my blog as private as I could. It was only accessible through the dashboard, it was not showing in ANY search engines inside and outside tumblr, and my gifs were impossible to find through insert-gif function – I’ve made sure. I did all that cause I just knew that during those 30 days, someone would use my gifs and I would get mad and I desperately wanted to avoid that (hence going extreme). And you know what happened? You know what creator of this challenge (who prevously already reposted my gifs) did? *drums* They used my shit anyway. :3 They just uploaded it from their computer, where they’ve saved it earlier.

And like… a lot of people see pretty pic and decide to save it - I mean, we all do that. Heck, even I have a folder full of shit I saw online and liked it – but i’m not uploading it online cause I haven’t made it. It’s not mine to share.

But some people are not like that.

Some people see fanart of something they like and they want to share their opinion on it – and instead of making their own post, maybe drawing the fanart themselves, they decide to use someone else’s art for their post. Do they know who made it? Do they have creator’s permission to share it? If the answer is NO, then they should be a decent human being and not do that to creators. Oh, they shared it anyway but now people in fandom are calling them out BUT this actually happened on accident? They know who the creator is but, somehow, they accidentally forgot to credit them? OK, well, it’s possible, shit happens, but they better make sure it doesn’t happen again.

Then sometime later these same people decide they want to make a post appreciating their fav character and they want to include pics cause duh, you can’t have character appreciation post without pics, right? Now they have several options: they can get their own screenshots, make their own gifs, maybe draw something… or they can just take someone else’s creation. Do they know who made it? Well there’s my fuckin name on it, and since they’ve stretched it from 245 to 500px, it’s really hard to miss, plus it’s not like there are that many people making Psychonauts gifs. Do they have permission to share it? Hmmm, nope, didn’t ask me. Is this also an accident? Could be. I mean, I’ve seen stranger things happen, so accidentally forgetting to credit content creators twice… kinda suspicious but still possible. Who am I to say?

Now if these people then decide to make a post appreciating their fav ship and they want to add a cute pic of the loving couple – yup, you guessed it! They can either create something or take something. Again: they know who did? They asked for permission? Got the permission? No?!?! But they posted it anyway?!?! :o Could it really be, that after being called out publicly, after being told that reposting is bad (something that’s very easy to understand), after even having tumblr staff intervene and remove stolen shit from their blog, after all that - could it really still be an accident?

Nah, man.

They just don’t give a shit.

Cause if they did, they’d stop with that crap first time they were called out.

(and if you think Psychonauts fandom is their only fandom and that they’re not doing this crap in other fandoms too - hoooo, boy, do I have some bad news for you! Do you know how many stolen and butchered HP fanart is on their blog? Hobbit stuff? They seem to be one of the most accident-prone users on tumblr. And honestly - it’s a real miracle their blog’s not been terminated.)

Back to what I was talking about - I’m not okay with people using my gifs and I’ve made it very clear. I literally do not give a shit if I’m credited or not, I’ve made it very clear that I don’t want my gifs used without my permission. If you like them and want them on your blog, there’s a fuckin reblog button. It’s sole purpose is to allow you to share other people’s creations. Or shitposts, cause lord knows we all love those.

So that’s why when someone spends hours going through my Psychonauts tag and goes as far as to send me “I love your gifs” anonymous message, but the very next day makes stim moodboard post including one of my gifs, now cut and resized to fit 3x3 format they’re going with, I get mad. And that’s why when someone uses one of my gifs to promote their RP blog, butchering it to fit their aesthetics, and later when confronted going as far as blaming their good friend on it cause god! they’ve had no idea it wasn’t theirs, I get mad. (makes you wonder though: if they friend has such skills, why not making them gifs themselves?)

Like…. I’ve had my gifs stolen plenty of times. I’ve had them stolen for roleplaying, for headers, for imagines, just for notes… I’ve had them stolen by people claiming to run official fan sites (that’s a real wild story but I won’t get into that now)… I’ve seen them on pinterest, weheartit, FB, all those random gif sites… and I’ve seen EVERY. POSSIBLE. EXCUSE. ranging from: “well i found it on google so why should i credit you” “lol dunno who made this but its pretty so im posting it” “ive had it on my computer for years so i don’t remember where i got it from” “i dont know how to make gifs so im using weheartit as a source” “credit to whoever made this” (that’s my fav) to “its just a gif so who gives a shit” (it’s not – it’s hours of creator’s time and lots of love that you’re now shitting on so thanks) and “i have an /illness/ and getting notes makes me feel better so dont u dare blame me for stealing” (I don’t remember exact excuse but it was something along those lines and like… how do you even respond to something that without looking like an asshole?).

And sometimes it really is just an accident. Sometimes people really do forget to credit you and/or ask you for permission. And I’ve had my fair share of those accidents. People in Psychonauts fandom have been using my gifs for various crap but, when approached, they’ve removed it and apologised. And it’s something I really appreciate. (if they actually bother reading this and they recognise themselves: i’m really grateful and thank you for not being an ass)

But you know what I don’t appreciate? People making a call out posts about me, asking about my gifs when they know very well they’re the main reasons why I’m not making those gifs anymore, at the same time failing to address any of the issues I have with them and instead rather explaining to others what happened BUT explaining only the parts that make me look like a villain cause how I even dare be mad about them stealing? How I even dare call them out on it? That is so ridiculous and criminal of me, and it’s so so sooooo bad that they need to call me out. I deserve to be called out by the very same person who’s been stealing my shit.

And their explanation is…well… it’s something.

They were sympathetic and polite? When did this happen? Did I completely missed that part? Please someone fuckin enlighten me with such post/message where they expressed their sympathy and politeness and I’ll apologise right this second.

I told them to “literally fuck off”? Yeah, that did happen, I admit that. Did they bother explaining why I told them to fuck off in the first place? Did they say they were caught stealing from me and had tumblr stuff remove my shit from their blog? Did they get into details of how they demanded the proof of my so very wild and obviously false claims but then when I showed it, they just deleted that “how dare u call me out cause I would never do such thing” post? No, they didn’t and geee, I really wonder why.

Instead, what did they choose to address? Out of all the things I’ve said. Hm? What did they choose? Me telling them to fuck off. Me dropping the F-bomb on them, rudely rejecting their obvious kindness and politeness. Nothing else.

Back to what I was talking about before I got derailed again: no, I’m not mad cause this person used my gifs without crediting me. I mean – I am, but that’s not my main issue with them (and they know it). My main issue is that this is someone who will continuously lie and steal and still deny any of it, even when there’s plenty of proof (and you can always count on me to show up with proof tbh), and then go as far as to publicly ask about my gifs and try to call me out. Like me getting mad that something I’ve put hours of work into, and something I’ve made cause I love the game and I want to share my love and appreciation for it, is now being shared against my will and my knowledge - like me getting mad over something like that is so unreasonable that they need to make an entire post about it while pretending they have absolutely no idea why I’m even mad and why we have issues.

And I have every fucking right to be mad. 3 times is not an accident. 2 times to the same person is not an accident. They know it. But yeah, playing stupid is their defense so it’s not like I expected them to actually address their actions this time either.

And you know what? Just because I swear a lot doesn’t mean I’m wrong. Doesn’t mean there’s no solid ground for my claims. People on tumblr have always been and always will be stealing shit. Sometimes they will credit you, often they will not, and that’s just how it is, doesn’t matter if you’re okay with it or not. But that doesn’t mean I’m just gonna sit quiet and accept someone’s shitty behaviour. Especially when it’s directed at me.

TLDR: giving credit =/= having permission

but my previous posts leading to this ask were not about that

you knew that already

#psychonauts #this is a lot longer than i expected #meh #also: all those posts are now under one tag #so you don't have to check my blog 4 times per day #that hobbit reposter #my psychonauts stuff

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ua-list · 6 years

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one of my friends are in ur server. constantly being ignored. they talk a fuckton and u guys just choose to ignore it because you have a friendgroup on there that nobody gets in to. all of the minor characters ( that meaning in the show, ones who probably only signed up for said char because all the other ones were taken ) seem to get thrown away for all the plots started. they take screenshots of that server too.. so i see everything. and you do realize that some ppl probs have mad anxiety (1/2

and are rlly afraid of asking ppl for plots?? so what do you do, then? they were really happy to join an rp group, get stomped on and ignored, and are too socially awkward to actually do anything about it. they get kicked out for inactivity or whatever you guys do with ghost blogs, etc. that's shitty. side note: please don't call me a chucklefuck in your chats. im right. 💕💕💕💕💕

a ps ) mods. mods with status. all of you are fuckin queen bees, i guess. as well as a few ppl who play major chars in 1.a ( ie shoto, kami, baku ).

hmm alright.

-we can not do anything if you don’t speak up about it. if your friend felt ignored and they had come to us about it, we would have been able to do more to make them feel included. the server itself realistically has over 50 people on it. we can not control how other people react to your friend. you may also need to re-evaluate just how much your friend perceives the server because of their anxiety, as most of the regulars are 1) very welcoming to new people/each other and 2) are not aware that they have felt that way and would have done anything they could to change that, should they have known. because, again, a lot of them are very accommodating, but none of them, myself included, can read your minds.

-and i’m going to say it again because you and your friends can’t seem to get this no one can read your mind and you don’t talk about it with us we can’t do anything to help you. i understand you have anxiety. most, if not all of the server, has some sort of mental illness. if that is the reason you can’t speak with us, that’s valid, but it’s not an excuse. you can not try and use your mental illness against us because that is not fair. lots of us also have traumatic backgrounds. i’m someone who suffers from schizophrenia, among other disorders. we understand. we will accept you. but not if bullshit tactics are used against us because that’s not fair to us, and if you’re not going to be fair to us, there’s no way you can accept similar treatment towards yourself. that’s just not realistic.

-speaking of realism, realistically you need to talk to people to get things you want. also realistically, people are not required to give you what you want, if you ask for it or otherwise. i don’t know what you’ve come across but maybe consider the feelings of other people as well.

-there are plenty of minor characters right now that have plenty of plot. here’s a convenient list, because i see you’re keeping up with the server/blog but not enough to actually realize this! understandable! so, off the top of my head, inasa, seiji, sen kaibara, kamakiri, intelli, rei todoroki, bakugou’s parents, etc etc, they all have complex plots because they’re being active in getting them. there are plenty of others (au characters especially included) who are on that same level or getting there. there is also, of course, plenty of accounts that ARE being more neglected, and this is something that i’m about to go on about in an attempt to lessen this but i also can’t stress that if you are feeling neglected it is LARGELY based on the activity of your blog.

-speaking of which! and i’m sorry to tell you this, but activity is a requirement for most organized rp groups. if it’s something your friend isn’t comfortable with, a more lenient group may be more for them. the rule about activity isn’t a punishment, it’s to make things fair for other rper’s who want to put the work in on a character you are otherwise neglecting, for whatever reason! we have a lot of people interested in joining the group who might have more fun with it, and also might be able to deal with the pressures of owning a rp blog better.

-if you are not active on your blogs or in the discord your character will be ignored because people can not read your mind and if you are NOT active they will NOT know that you are available for interaction. this is a fact.

-activity does not mean asks, it does not mean plots, it means post on your blog at least once a week. i can’t stress how important this is BECAUSE:

-a good way to try and get interaction and try to get plots if you have anxiety about it is to make open threads.

an open thread will allow other characters to interact with yours without the need for plotting beforehand. however, please know that no one is required to answer an open thread, especially if they can’t find anything in it that vibes with that particular post. thus, the more open threads, the more opportunity for interaction you have!

we also now have the groupchat discord, which has allowed for VERY easy plotting and should be utilized more for minor characters who are struggling to fit in. the problem with minor characters (which we are aware of) is that they usually don’t have connections with characters that can allow them an easier time integrating into the group. again, multiple of the minor characters have found some good grounding doing just that.

-everyone needs to consider the feelings of other roleplayers as well and try and reach out just as much as they are asking people to reach out to them.

if you can not reach out, please consider the other two options ie. open threads or the group chat.

-the inactivity rule is also pretty lenient, we are not nearly as strict on it as we probably could be. also, if there is a personal issue that is keeping someone from roleplaying, all they need to do is contact one of the mods and they will receive an approved hiatus where they can take the time they need. however if this is not communicated we can not know that there is something wrong and we will assume disinterest and claim the blog back.

anyway since you’re still receiving screenshots, i assume that your friend is still in the server! wonderful! i’m sure you’ve also been privy to a lot of out-of-context screenshots, which is lovely. i hope you’ve also been sent a few on the matter being discussed now within it. i won’t apologize for the members and how they are handling this because i can understand their reactions. while i’m not hurt by these messages, they’ve hurt other people. there are plenty of vastly more mature ways this matter could be dealt with. again, if your problem is with certain people, you could have messaged me or the other people involved... since all you’re doing by contacting this blog is contacting me or most all the people you mentioned in your previous ask, through far more roundabout means. anon messages without context are always going to be taken more harshly, which means it’ll be even harder to find some sort of solution, if you’re actually looking for one.

which, honestly, it doesn’t sound like it.

so, again, i encourage you to message my blog if you’d like to continue this! i’m fine with continuing it here though if you’re more comfortable. just know that you are actually kind of in the wrong here, haha. the problem may not be the group itself and may just be your friend being uncomfortable with the usual rp format that a lot of people are either very well-versed in, or are currently learning alongside each other.

again, i’d like to help if i can, just stop being such a brat about it. if you only care about your friend’s feelings and not the feelings of the people in this group, i can’t fault you on that. i really only ask for maturity on an issue that really doesn’t need to be as extreme as it currently is. thank you!

PS: thank you for pointing out the people you have a problem with! it’s completely unfounded and also unfair considering this is, again, 1) very common for mods of characters with main roles 2) not even accurate because quite honestly i see plenty of the minor characters having just as much if not more plots than a lot of the main characters, just based on activity and the schedule of the mods. and THAT is honestly none of your business, lol, but again, that’s something i’m sure most people would prefer you talk to them about rather than vagueing them in a public setting

#also i'm pretty sure i know who this is lol so when you want to talk to me about this privately. again. feel free #cursing us out and complaining about stuff isn't going to do anything #it just makes me think you all enjoy causing problems for not only everyone but also yourself #because you are being offered the chance to actually fix things but instead nope you're just going to keep whining so okay #and if it's not who i'm assuming it is then i apologize of course #this IS anon so i only have my guesses uwu #mod ricky #Anonymous #ask tag

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aloice-talks-about-games · 6 years

Text

The Hoperai Salt Masterpost, OR: Hope deserved better in Lightning Returns.txt

I’m not going to put this under the Hoperai tag because yes, it is ship salt... I am aware that Hope has his own flaws and problems as well in LR (that warrants a whole other masterpost by itself) so the salt doesn’t just go to Lightning, but I’m going to focus on Lightning in this post.

Thesis: Hoperai is a great ship that can, under certain circumstances, work out (and work out beautifully!) in the post-LR new world, but it has a lot of issues within Lightning Returns and I highly, highly doubt that Lightning reciprocated Hope’s feelings within LR, or even treated him well as a friend, partner or surrogate family member.

I’m going to address this in three and a half parts, with the parts discussing Lightning’s knowledge, Lightning’s heart/compassion, Lightning’s plans and possible dev intentions respectively.

Part One. Lightning’s Knowledge

Argument: Lightning doesn’t show a lot of care RE: Hope’s well-being in Lightning Returns because she couldn’t tell he was in a lot of trouble.

Answer: uhhhhh, about that.

In the beginning of LR, Hope shows confusion about who he is or why he’s at the Ark, saying:

Of course Lightning is also a little dazed at this point since she also just woke up, but at least she knows her terms with Bhunivelze, while Hope doesn’t seem to be aware of his. She doesn’t think or comment much about Hope’s confusion (or his suddenly-child-again-form, or why he, as the most human-oriented of the entire XIII cast who was the only cast member in XIII-2 to not be granted time travel by Etro, is suddenly serving God) and simply goes on as if it’s normal. Perhaps this is because she doesn’t yet have reason to think that Bhunivelze means ill towards the two of them (she did serve Etro willingly, after all) - so let’s give her the benefit of the doubt for this one.

She does learn about what actually happened to the adult Hope she knew from Vanille (mysteriously disappeared from the world 169 years ago before ending up in his current situation with no memories of anything), but makes no comments about it.

She also has this conversation with Snow regarding how odd it is that Hope is barred from leaving the Ark to do things such as talking to Snow (which, from the tone of this conversation, both Snow and Hope would enjoy), but doesn’t comment on it.

She also makes no comments about this.

She acknowledges and feels hurt that he has forgotten, but doesn’t think about why that may have happened.

Here she learns that even Hope’s colleagues have no idea what happened despite wanting him back, but no comments either.

She also doesn’t say anything when he blatantly talks about dying.

She also doesn’t seem to catch on the meaning of this (”It’s really nearing the end now. Soon it will be over.”) being Hope’s existence will also be over.

Sure, we can argue that Lightning is just not the most astute of people and these hints all flew over her head. But then there’s the nail on the coffin:

If she didn’t know before, Lumina’s forced her to know now - that Hope is wrong somehow and that to achieve her goals might mean turning on him and killing him. Which, of course, is fine if Hope is a fake - but where is the real Hope then, the one she knew she cared for and could trust, and shouldn’t she care about saving him, since she puts so much effort into saving everyone else and tries to save even Caius?

Or, alternatively, if she believes the real Hope is dead/gone, shouldn’t she show some sign of grief or disappointment over it?

This is the first and only time in LR Lightning explicitly discusses the problems with Hope before Hope’s final farewell; she does not talk about (her thoughts on) him to anyone otherwise.

Part II. Lightning’s Heart/Compassion

That brings us to our second point.

Argument: Lightning’s a fine companion to Hope during LR. If she was cold to him, it’s because her heart (Lumina) was missing, so you can’t fault her for that, and she’s cold towards everyone, really, it’s just a part of her character.

Answer: uhhhhh, about that.

Let’s put aside her lack of reaction towards all the alarming stuff covered in Part I for now (especially the part where her heart, Lumina, seems particularly sardonic in tone while grilling her about the possibility of killing Hope). Let’s just look at the moments when Lightning showed she was perfectly capable of compassion in LR, even to street NPCs.

To the boy playing Serah’s theme (I think) in Yusnaan, she makes a remark that shows caring for Snow:

She shows empathy regarding the ghosts of the murdered women in Luxerion, wishing to save them despite knowing she had no powers over the dead:

She is quite unhappy about that one fireworks guy’s story in Yusnaan:

We know how emotional she got in person with Snow:

She understands Luka’s pain about crying solely for others:

She helps the girl who claims that she used to be a chocobo despite agreeing that it’s logically absurd:

She quite obviously cares for Sazh and Dajh:

And so on and so forth (too many screenshots.)

In short, Lightning’s perfectly capable of caring and worrying for others, especially her friends and allies. She even muses about love and dependence, but those thoughts are purely introspective, making no mentions of Hope even though he could fit right into them:

She explicitly wonders if she’s unable to love. She likely comes around to the idea by the end - I’m in no way against Hoperai post LR, I’ve written fics on it - but here, she isn’t there yet, and her thoughts don’t even drift to Hope when she thinks about her feelings (even though mutual dependence is like, basically the nature of her relationship with Hope in LR).

Now, her lack of action or commentary regarding Hope’s impending problems with Bhunivelze notwithstanding, (and Hope deliberately trying to mislead her into not trusting him notwithstanding - that still doesn’t explain why she wasn’t more upset and proactive with either him or the “real” Hope, though,) she also snaps at Hope a whole lot. Of course Hope goes overboard with protectiveness and I’ve also heard that some of it is due to the translation from Japanese to English, but just look at this.

She isn’t very subtle when she lies to him about trusting him, even though she was trying to keep her agenda secret:

She basically blows up on him when he circumvents a lot in his explanation of where Serah might have gone, and doesn’t say anything even after in response he makes the extremely morbid promise to look for Serah and reunite the sisters after his own death:

And, of course, even though Hope sounds absolutely dejected with this line, no investigations or words of comfort either:

Part III. Lightning’s Plan

Argument: Lightning did all of that above because it didn’t matter, she had a plan and she saved him in the end.

Answer: I don’t like thinking of “murder” as a plan.

Lightning makes a vague mention of a “last resort” when talking to Lumina. The problem... this occurs right before the conversation regarding killing Hope, which then means

1) Her “last resort” involves willingly killing Hope (which really does not show her care for his well-being) OR

2) She knows Hope’s going to end up needing to be saved somehow (in which case she’s... basically waiting for the end to happen, and risking the success of saving him in the process) OR

3) This is strictly talking about her ability to fight Bhunivelze and has nothing to do with Hope (which also doesn’t help our case RE: caring about Hope).

I’m inclined to think she didn’t really have much of a plan, going by how shocked she seemed to be at their final conversation:

She straight up admits that she’s not been the greatest with him even just as a friend and partner.

... And even when she goes to fight Bhuni it seems to be more about Serah and the world than about Hope.

And this is not even going into how Lightning feels about Bhuni’s more lewd words to her in JPN, which she definitely knows to have come from Hope because she tells Bhuni that his downfall is due to having a human’s heart within him...

Part III.1/2 Possible Dev Intentions

Now, perhaps a lot of these happened the way they did because the devs 1) didn’t want Hoperai to become “too” canon (due to pedophilia reasons and to keep Lightning open for fandom to ship her with others) or 2) wanted to keep Hope’s problems mostly a surprise until the end. However, I’d argue that you can easily still do 1) while showing Lightning to care about him even just as a friend (asking him if he has any theories of his own on why he ended up the way he did at the beginning, for example; Hope doesn’t even have to answer correctly, but just showing her asking shows that she cares). As for 2)... I’m really upset with the Lumina scene LOL if they’re going to be so explicit about Lightning having to (at least try to) kill Hope, then why don’t they give us a single throwaway line where either Lightning OR Lumina considers some kind of alternative? They really don’t talk about saving him at all before they actually do save him, while everyone else (Sazh, Snow, Vanille, Noel) etc all have a lead up section where Lightning contemplates how she used to know them and how they may have been affected by everything that’s happened. As LR was made by the devs, we skipped any potential thoughts Lightning could have had regarding Hope’s adult life, his feelings of abandonment, and extremely difficult leadership for hundreds of years. It would have been so interesting to read. But we didn’t get any of that - and nothing explicitly romantic from Lightning, either. So anything between them has to fill in those gaps on their own - and they have to do it in the new world, after that train arrives, and after they see each other again. Within LR Lightning and Hope are not romantically linked, but that should not stop anyone from exploring their romantic future together in the new world they both fought so hard to create, especially when it’s filled with so much potential for soul-searching, for honesty, for understanding, and for happiness.

#I played LR you guys #and if I didn't care about LR or didn't care about Hoperai I wouldn't have spent so many hours collecting screenshots and writing this #the more you love something the more you hurt over it #I want them to be happy; and thus I do not want to write them as happy when they're not there yet #It's not *WRONG* of Lightning to have done all of this either #Her life and her feelings are her own #if she finds it difficult to care or simply failed to see things it's not on anyone to force her to care or see #that's on her and if in some cases things don't work out that's just how it is #long post #Lightning Farron #Hope Estheim #ffxiii

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parkjmini · 6 years

Text

bts as fuckboys

[a/n]: inspired by @sweetersuga | original post: x i wrote it as the perspective that you’re already close friends w them/have been with them before !!

Seokjin

he’s the funny, sarcastic one where he could be kind of mean bc he takes it a lil far

“you’re such trash you sleep with every girl”

“at least I can get someone to sleep with me”

he flashes a smile in the hall bc he KnOws iT GeTs oN YouR NeRveS

“When’s my birthday”

“January 1st bc u set off my fireworks baby”

“i am disgusted”

piggy back rides on those goddamn strong broad set of shoulders ooffff

“I’ll call you, ya?”

He never calls u bc he probably forgot too busy improvin himself

you have a streak with him and all he sends are selfies with the caption “I hope your day is as beautiful as I am (:”

He catches you staring in class one day and he’s like “take a pic, it’ll last longer babe”

And omg he ACTUALLY TELLS YOU TO TAKE A PHOTO OF HIM

so now u have a gallery full of jin and he wont let u delete them bc he thinks they’re all masterpieces you do too but youd never admit it

the only fuckboy that’s tolerable bc he’s rlly just a big goof

“why don’t you ever have sleeves on your shirt jin”

“these shoulders are on display, honey, can’t cover up the jewels”

he’s kind of obnoxiously loud that u want to shove ur fist into his mouth to sh u t him uP

“dude, jimin’s hot”

“okay but so am i ??”

“ok ya youre really hot but so is jimin”

“jiMIN (Y/N) THINKS YOU’RE—-”

“–ANNOYING THANKS SEOKJIN PLS SHUT UP WHY R U STILL TALKING WOW”

“just trying to get my baby some more dick jeEZ”

Yoongi

“hey yoongs why dont we go on a date??”

“uuhhhhhh since when were we dating? lmao dont trip”

gets a new number every 2 months bc he loves fucking w them crazy bitches too much

“sometimes you need to mess around with the ones who can bite off your dick, being risky is hot (-;”

“BEinG riSkY iS hOt ya u wont have a penis anymore at the rate you’re going”

kind of smells like a mixture of alcohol and cologne

hand-on-ass-when-he-hugs

“let’s play a game, if u lose u have to take off ur clothes, if i lose u have to take off ur clothes”

“wait but yours stay on ?? wtf yoongi??”

“no mine will come off right after i see u naked (;”

the one to play with the ends of your skirt/dress/shirt bc it gets u so flustered and he lives seeing u flustered

straight up Arrogantᵀᴹ at times its hot but ur so annoyed by it that u wanna knock some sense into him

wont ask for nudes but will ask to see some goods

“can i see ur tits”

“for the 4039th time, no”

“well, a man can try”

SMIRKY MC SMIRKY HERE like it just comes OUT of NOWHERE and it is OUT to ATTAC

u dont have a snap streak w him bc it always breaks bc he replies every 3 years bc he was “busy”

but he’s always the fourth person to like your instagram posts???????

and to comment the water droplet/eye/tongue emoji combo ????

loves when u swat his hands away from gripping your thigh

Hoseok

(i wanted to use this gif but it was so big and rectangle and didnt fit but u need to see that gif to really take in the fuckboy bc i cannot find a representation as accurate as that gif is)

always greeting you whenever he sees you

“hey babygirl”

“hoseok we just saw each other in chemistry”

“ok and????? can’t i say hi to my baby?”

“but im not”

“lmao every girl is my baby”

raises his eyebrows any time you fix your dress or your shirt

asks to borrow a pencil and never returns it

“where is my pencil hoseok”

“where is my kiss (y/n)”

“we didnt agree to that”

“well i didnt agree to give it back”

“dO u NoT kNOW whAT BoRRoW meANS”

loves to share so he shares a lot of his snacks with u

“omg i love snacks!!”

“oh baby me too” and trust me, he’s not talking about the food

has the brightest, kindest smile so it catches you off guard when he says some snarky fuckboy comment

loves physical contact !!!!! always has a hand on your back, or shoulder, or thigh, or hand, or arm

lip LICKING PARDON ME HIS TONGUE IS UNCONTROLLABLE

lets you wear his hats/jackets/hoodies bc he thinks youre sooo cute in his clothes

he walks around school with his hands in his pockets like a doUCHEBAG

catches you off guard by spinning you around with his arm around your waist

uses the line “im a dancer” to get girls what an eyeroll

the type to drag you onto the middle of the dance floor at a club just so he could show off his skillz which are actually super bomb like even ur impress and uve seen them 308443 times

he got that sweatpants dick print

Namjoon

changes his contact name to Daddy on your phone

Mr. Ass Man he loves ass ASS ASS ASS SO MUCH ASS BIGGEST ASS LOVER

“oh shit did you see her ass”

“look here bootylover123 stfu”

winks at you a lot in the halls

“do you have a fucking eye problem namjoon”

“its a wink”

“u do it so much that im beginning to think youre eye is having a spasm

lets you copy his homework if he got a hug in return

the type to comment a peach emoji on your instagram photos even if there is no butt involved

loves when you sit on his lap

one time there weren’t enough seats on the bus and he patted his leg for you to sit

“i know you hate standing (y/n), take a seat itll be fine”

“why can’t u be a gentleman and give up your seat for me?”

*alMOST CHOkES from LAUGHING* “me???!!! a gentleman??? wow u expect too much, just sit your big ass down on daddy’s lap or suffer standing”

buys you lunch bc he loves showing off his e x p e n s i v e w a l l e t

he could go from having a full blown brilliant monologue as to why he exists to giggling about how your moles r arranged into the shape of a penis

calls girls mami or ma

asks for ass pics at like 1:32 AM

and u send him pictures of ur elbow crease

and he actually thinks its ur butt

BLASTS baby makin music from his car and causes a public disturbance

has the highest count of broken beds, not bc of a high body count, but bc he actually breaks the bed everytime he sleeps w someone

Jimin

spaces out when ur wearing a low cut top bc hes too busy staring at ur cleavage

his streak snaps are either mirror pics, his abs, mirror pic of his abs, and occasional dick pics

“wanna play 20 questions (;”

“we’ve played 20 questions like 20 times already”

“ok gr8 ill start first: will u let me hit it from the back??”

offers to netflix and chill all the time and it sux bc he actually knows all ur fav shows

ok let me reiterate, jimin knows all ur favorite anythings bc he listens to u 75% of the time bc he thinks ur voice is sexy

will never fail to compliment you when u look good

“damn baby, is this all for me????”

“no i just dont want to look like a hobo today”

gets super jealous when any other guys speak to u even tho hes piping down like 8 other girls

“jimin they’re my frIENDS ur not even my bf why u tripping”

“they arent acting like theyre ur friends. i know fuckboy behavior when i see it (y/n) its my occupation, i do the same shit w girls”

“thats good then, someone else wants me too”

“not good bc ur HOT ASS IS MINE )-:”

youre saved as #1 babygirl on his phone no objections

walks into class with a new hickey in a new place every day

he has SEX EYES u could never look him directly in the eyes bc theyre so captivating

fucking walks like an arrogant prick down the hall and whistles when u pass

brags about his big dick when its honestly not as exaggerated as he says

has a picture of you in one of his shirts as his homescreen wallpaper

Taehyung

“i wont show anyone, im not messed up like that” yea be careful w this one honey, pretty sure jungkook, hobi, yoongs, namjoon all know how ur tits look like

has the perfect innocent face where u have no idea that he’s fucking 4 other girls

always responds after 12 am and calls u at 3 am

“tae im fucking sleeping”

“damn thats hot what else u doin??”

“hanging up on u goodbye im going to block ur number”

“pls don-”

uses the line, “i just dont think we’re compatible” on E V Ery GIRL

offers to hangout but never follows up with it bc he’s never seen out in public with a girl unless its his momma

“jasmine is telling everyone you gave her chlamydia, u get checked bro??”

“dont worry about it”

body count means a lot to him

loves hugs bc he likes feeling boobs squished against him

sometimes INTENTIONALLY lowers his voice bc he KNOWS ur into that shit

thinks youre playing hard to get when rlly u just dont care lol

“i know u want all of this, (y/n)”

“i think ur mistaken”

“right bc i want all of u (:”

“ya tae let’s not get ur feelings mixed w mine ok thx u”

NO SUCH THING AS PERSONAL SPACE the boy is a koala and will latch onto u

Jungkook

the biggest fuckboy of them all

has slept w almost every girl in the school and is v proud of it

“what’s your name again”

“rlly jungCOCK”

“ok (y/n) i know ur fkcing name so can u learn mine”

u dont think he’s ever had a gf b4 bc he doesnt believe in labels OR commitment which hes pretty vocal abt

unlike jimin, he doesnt own up to his dick pics and swears that they were “”accidents””

SCrEENsHOTS! but ur smart so ur face is NEVER in ur pics

“who’s boobs r on ur phone kook”

“yours”

“you WOULDNT DARE”

“i dont have photogenic memory (y/n) i wanted to remember those cuties without a shirt on (;”

looks too fucking good w a fresh cut that u need to avoid him in the halls or ull melt to goo

only owns white tees and timbs lmao hahahaha

smirks when you bend down to pick something up

that or he yells, “one more time, babe!”

“wat u doin”

“showering”

“without me!!1???”

he’s on tinder too so once he’s done with the sampling pool at school, he can broaden his horizons

a car enthusiast and will get offended if u dont think his rims r cool

thinks youre really hot when you yell at him or hurt his feelings

youre his prized possession bc he actually likes talking to u but will never admit it

has a specific nickname for u that he doesnt call his other girls bc its YOURS !!

“hey cutie”

“hey jungCOCK”

hates the nickname jungCOCK

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isa-ly · 4 years

Text

“I HATE MY LIFE, LMAO”

TW: mental illness, therapy, self-hatred, self-deprecation

Let's start this one off with a text I received a few months ago from a friend, who I hadn't seen or spoken to in a while:

For anyone who isn't fluent in German, it reads as follows: "I'm hip and have a Twitter too now, as you probably noticed. Your own Twitter doesn't sound like you're too doing well. Can I help in any way?"

At first, I was like: "Huh? What does she mean?"

But, well...

Alright, I see her point.

And that's what I'm here to talk about today: Tweeting and joking your sorrows away (and why it's so hard to stop doing it). Before we get into it, however, I want to drop one last screenshot, because it just fits this current situation oh too well, and the irony made me giggle:

Okay, enough social media plugging, let's get back to business.

As you can see, I am quite active when it comes to tweeting about my struggles with mental illness. Which, in this day and age, really isn't a rarity. You just need to take one look at Twitter, Instagram, Reddit, TikTok or any dank meme, to see that joking, down-playing and iRoniCalLy tAkiNg tHe piSs out of personal problems and issues, has become quite the trend for millennials in general. Once again, I'm not the only one guilty of doing that.

Had you asked me a year ago whether or not I thought that constantly ridiculing very serious and traumatic incidents in my life was maybe a bit worrisome, I would have probably gotten very defensive and told you that "it's called coping, okay?” Because hey, making jokes and laughing about the bad things in your life gives them less power over you and helps distract from the pain. And that's good, right? That's what you're supposed to do. Right?

Well.

Dealing with your own issues, whether that's big or small ones, is a very personal process that, quite frankly, no one really gets to have a say in except for you. And yeah, sure, as we all learned by watching Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, ridiculing and laughing about something that really scares you, loosens the hold said fear has on you and makes it easier to deal with. However, there is a very big difference between the boggards of life (if you don’t get that reference, you clearly weren’t around when J.K. Rowling wasn’t problematic and transphobic yet) and medical mental health issues and disorders.

I am no doctor, I am aware of that, but even I know that having an ironic laugh about a shitty day is something very different to basically verbally abusing yourself and trying to make your own depression or anxiety relatable to ... well, to whom, actually? Random people on the internet? That are never going to really care or react to your self-deprecating jokes? That doesn’t seem like it’ll do much now, does it.

And that’s kind of the whole point, if you’re really honest with yourself. Social media has made it oh too easy to simply shout those invasive, painful and scary thoughts and feelings out into a void before they eat you alive. The thing about a void is, though: You're still alone in it. It doesn't answer you back. It's empty. And it will make you feel that exact emptiness inside you, too. It poses no comfort, it doesn't offer advice, it doesn't give you a hug, a shoulder to cry on or anything, really. It may swallow your word vomit whenever it bubbles out of you, but it will still leave you feeling drained and hollow because there's nothing you get from it in return.

Twitter, Instagram and every other easy-to-access-and-rant-on social media platform lets you dump your initial hurt all over it, but it doesn't lessen the pain. And neither do the self-deprecating jokes and dank depression memes.

I’ll say this once again, for the people in the back (me, I’m talking about myself here, I am the people in the back): Being mentally ill isn't a quirky personality trait, and making a lifestyle and constant comedy show out of is never, ever going to solve your problems and make you feel any better. You'll still be miserable if you don't actually work on solving your issues because you're too busy letting them define you.

Depression is not an aesthetic. Anxiety is not a competition. Panic attacks aren't funny memes.

I'm not saying that you can't and shouldn't joke or laugh about your own problems. Humor can be a very cathartic thing, I'm the living example of it. But staying put in your depression, anxiety or whatever issues you're dealing with, and trying to make a comedy skit out of it every time someone asks you how you are, is only going to make you more comfortable and validated in your own misery. And there are way better places to be comfortable in than that. Trust me.

You are not your mental illness. You are not your disorder. Those things will never define who you are. They're a part of you, yes, but they aren't you. You will always be the one that calls the shots and you always, always have choice and hope on your side. Even when it feels like you are alone and being swallowed whole by the darkness, it is never too early or late to get help. It might feel insincere, it might feel terrifying and impossible. But it never is. That's exactly what your disorders and problems want you to think. But they are wrong.

I had to accept that too. I had to accept that, once again, I wasn't as special of a snowflake as my mental illness painted me to be. By doing that, it simply did what any mental illness does best: it isolated me even more. With every joke, every #relatable tweet, every "lol" behind yet another truly worrisome sentence, I sunk back further and further into the cocoon of loneliness. And, plot twist, you can't finger-gun your way out of depression. Sorry, babes.

So, every time you’re about to chuck out another "I wanna die lmao" in a casual conversation with friends or yet another self-deprecating tweet, just take a second to ask yourself: Is this really a way of coping? Is it really making me feel better? Or is it actually a subconscious, desperate attempt of getting someone, anyone, to see that I'm slowly breaking on the inside?

Again, I don't want this to come across as a self-help guide on how to battle your mental illness. Not at all. If anything, the reason I phrase this blog and all my entries the way I do, is because it's what I need to keep telling myself, every time I revert back to old habits. It's a reminder. For me and, in case you want it to be, for you too. I'm not here to lecture anyone. Well, maybe myself, a little. But everyone makes their own choices and I'm no one's guide or saviour, nor do I want to be. However, I made a promise to myself to really commit to this blog thing, so here I am. I'm my own harshest critic, always have been, so if anything, this is a call out post for my own self-deprecating habits.

Receiving that message from my friend made me realize that even though I would have never admitted it to myself at the time, all those tweets and casually dropped “I’m gonna kms haha lol”s were nothing but very badly disguised cries for help. I was just too much of a coward to admit that to myself. Okay, maybe coward is a bit of a harsh word. I don’t want to diminish my fear or vulnerability just because I know the reason for it now. It’s just that looking back at my own denial, and still sometimes catching myself in moments where I slip back into this behaviour, makes me want to grab myself by the shoulders and shake me until I snap out of it.

Which is why I’m just going to do this through my blog now – for past, present and also future me: Get it together. Stop yourself in your own tracks when you’re about to word-vomit up another cryptic tweet or self-deprecating joke. Instead, talk to a friend. Type up a text. Call someone. Schedule a therapy session. It's always gonna help, way better than forcing out a laugh about something that is in no way a laughable matter. Reaching out is not going to fix everything immediately, but in the long run it will. And that's what we're in for, after all.

You can ask any of my friends and they will tell you that whenever they express feelings of insecurity about sharing their worries to me, I will be quick to stop them in the middle of their sentence to tell them that they can, and always should, talk to me. About any- and everything, be that day or night. It is something that I have been preaching for God knows how long, and I genuinely mean it, too. So, I’ve kind of just been a huge hypocrite by never listening to my own advice. And I knew that. Deep down, I always knew that I was ignoring the exact thing I kept telling the people I loved to do too. And what can I say, I hate being a hypocrite.

I’m not saying that any of this is easy. Hell, it can be the hardest God damn thing ever, especially when you’re as emotionally repressed and inept as I am most of the time. And yes, venting and shit-posting about how much you’ve been crying all day or how much you “hate your own life” might work as a quick fix to let off some of that frustration steam. But it’s never going to actually repair the underlying issues that cause you to feel this shitty in the first place. The only thing that’s gonna do that, is actually talking to people. Whether that is family, friends or a therapist, doesn’t matter. Because other than an Instagram story that disappears after 24 hours, or a tweet that has a 280-character limit, real life people who care about you will actually take the time to listen, say something in return, and provide the comfort and open ear no social media platform or meme ever could. You know that. And I know that too.

So, I want to try and quit lmao-ing my way through life and instead do what I actually, secretly know I am trying to do anyway with all those self-deprecating attempts at morbid comedy: ask for help. No lol’s needed.

#therapy #introspection #social media #oversharing #self-hatred #self-deprecation #self-deprecating humor #mental illness

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bangtancity · 7 years

Text

TOP TEN MARKSON MOMENTS

Long post ahead y’all but this was a lot of fun to go back and reminiscence about markson and their antics together. I hope all of y’all enjoy!

Also, please remember that these are my own personal opinions and that they shouldn’t be taken literally or seriously. But if you ever wanna come talk markson with me, I’m always ready :) ((Note: All gifs should be linked directly but videos and pictures with have physical links above them because I’m not sure how to link those to their respective tumblrs– if your post is here and you want your content removed bc you don’t like the linking, msg me and I’ll take it down.)) I’m a litlle late but here we go!!

1. This was one of the ones I already had in mind ;) I just love it bc it’s such a weird situation to be in but Mark, ever the gentleman, just takes it in stride and keeps his hands to himself. I love how near Jackson gets to Mark and if that isn’t the simplest testament of how (pun coming) close they are, I don’t know what is. In all honesty, if Mark really wanted out, a simple hand on the back or a squeeze on the shoulder or even just shifting out of the way would have sufficed but he stays and although his face is stoic, his eyes are constantly on Jackson. LOVE IT!

(Make sure to click the gif to see the whole gif post!)

2. SOFT!! My heart always swells a bit when I see this picture!! It’s natural and pure and they’re both enjoying this moment and it’s evident on their faces. I personally think jumping around puts a smile on most peoples faces and if other people, friends, are doing it with you, then there’s no way that isn’t going to make you shine. SO, jumping+BFF+concert adrenaline+love= BIG A__ SMILES !! Oh they’re also cuties so there’s that factor too.

LINK: http://fyeahmarkson.tumblr.com/post/136342100342

3. TBH I GOT DISTRACTED WITH THIS ONE AND REWATCHED THIS SECTION OF THE REAL GOT7– anyways…THIS IS PROBS MY ALL-TIME FAVE, THAT I FORGOT ABOUT. So the whole episode itself was hilarious with got7 and we got some markson moments sprinkled in but THIS, THIS takes the cake. I mean who doesn’t want to see their otp get this close to kissing? I love Mark’s hands cradling the back of Jackson’s head. I’d like to believe that Jackson stretched his neck up a bit more when Mark touched the other side of the paper but I’m not sure in this gif bc its quick (maybe I’ll add another one after I publish this). Like omg still can’t believe this happened though :D

4. Ok all the Got2Day Vapp stuff was gold and I loved the fact that we got to see everyone but of course my faves Mark and Jackson had the best one ;) It was cute and relaxed and I just love them in light/soft colors. Also #no#personal#space !! The video is just a short moment but it is super cute and I love them smiling at eachother bc heart palpitations~ OH but the second gif is MY FAVORITE bc it’s Mark just watching Jackson talk and he just looks so content and caring and its just one of those moments ok

(Make sure to click the gif to see the whole gif post!)

LINK: http://marksonforlife.tumblr.com/post/152683520387/jackson-lays-on-the-table-and-mark-laughs

5. I could rant FOR YEARS about this but idk if tumblr has a character limit or no.. BUT SERIOUSLY THIS IS JUST ICONIC!! It was actually the 1st to pop into my mind bc it was my icon (no joke for that one sorry) for a month I think? ANYWHO, I just straight up love this. They’re close. Jackson’s shirtless. Said Jackson is pressed along Mark’s backside. Said Mark is very very very smiley. Like Jackson could’ve chosen someone else- JB was kinda close I think- but he chose bae and got all up in bae’s business. And the fact that he’s partially restraining Mark? Keeping him flush with his body and leaning in to talk to him? My heart cannot keep up, this some tachycardia **** right here omg seriously!! Is it hot for anyone else in here or is it just them? *wink*

PICTURE LINK: http://bangtancity.tumblr.com/post/149470443176/fyeah-markson-please-tell-me-again-that-markson

VIDEO LINK 1: http://marksonforlife.tumblr.com/post/149317913961/shirtless-jackson-hugging-mark-from-behind

VIDEO LINK 2: http://marksonforlife.tumblr.com/post/149277241258/two-angles

6. GO WATCH THE VIDEO PLEASE. Like the caption is spot on in my mind and I couldn’t agree more on the fact that it looked like Jackson was going to do something intimate and then he hesitated and looked at the camera!! UGH. seriously a fave moment bc its like what were you gonna do? huh?! You can’t not agree with the fact that that boy was playing around behind Mark. And then there’s Mark’s small smile and that little thing he does with his mouth, which reminded me of someone keeping a smirk in check. Oooooh there’s def something going on there and I wish I knew what it was!!

LINK: http://marksonforlife.tumblr.com/post/151033384652/i-already-posted-this-but-ill-post-it-again

I couldn’t find a gif of this video D: but I found some others from the same video (they’re faves but this ^^^ moment is the one I really cared for)

7. ANOTHER VIDEO!! 9/10 markson shippers should remember this badboy right here. I don’t even remember what video this moment came from but even if I see a still I freak out bc this is literal gold. One of the best shows of touchy!Mark and cuddly!Jackson ever. Seriously, Mark kept putting his hands on Jackson and moving subtly, and then he even has the nerve to lean into Jackson further to whisper something-BOY!! And then there’s Jackson who decides it’s perfectly ok to rest his head on Mark’s chest all casual like he’s done it a thousand times before. And one moment I really love to see is Jackson noticing Mark playing with J’s bracelet, looking at him, and then Mark moves his hand away so quickly like he’s been caught. its cute. don’t fight me on this. Also I got newly-dating vibes from this: not sure how much actual touching is safe, leaning into one another, glued at the hip, private jokes. Markson or never ;) I’ll add a gif when I find one!

(Make sure to click the gif to see the whole gif post!)

LINK: http://awesomemeowww.tumblr.com/post/128284251380/markson-httpifttt1hebms6

8. This picture satisfies like 3 things from my otp goggles-on checklist: smiling towards the other, touching, and suggestive posturing. Don’t tell me that this doesn’t look like Jackson’s about to pull Mark in and plant one on him! The positioning of Jackson’s hands make me wanna punch something bc who puts their hands there unless its for a headbutt or a kiss?? And lemme tell you that I’m 99% sure that he’s not about to headbutt Mark. (ALSO ARMS 4 DAYS JACKSON OVER HERE #hot hot hot) Back to the smiling and touching and pose- they’re close for one thing, and then Mark’s about to go into hug mode, there’s full eye contact going on, and what a beautiful smile!! It seems so loving and happy that I just can’t deal with them rn. I have a link to a gif, Jackson jumping into Mark’s arms :) , so I’ll add that in later!

PHOTO LINK: https://dani-okem.tumblr.com/post/160701529358

9. Ok but I really think they fit together so well sometimes~ Like their heights aren’t monumentally different but it’s enough that they look good together. SO there’s that sly BUTT tap and then the blessed hand moves up to the lower back (i like ur style boy) and eventually falls off the waist when they stop in front of the fans. Mark is totally guiding Jackson here and it seems like he’s 100% a-ok with it. Oh and there’s definitely some smiles going on here! I wish we had more concerts but the fanmeets are still great but there’s something about concerts that really let otps shine.

(Make sure to click the gif to see the whole gif post!)

10. VIDEO— ITS THE FINAL ONE Y’ALL AND ITS A FAVE BC I’VE BROUGHT IT UP A FEW TIMES. (lol I still get pissed every time I remember that I posted the screenshots on my old baeksoo account instead of this one but oh whale:) ) anyways I just love love love this bc it was so fleeting but so memorable. I know Mark was running around messing with everyone during this time (and that he did something similar to JB) but this was something special for Jackson. There was NO SPACE between them and their heads were so so so close. And then there were lots of giggles and smiling and DID YOU NOTICE THAT JACKSON HITCHED HIS LEG UP WHICH IN TURN BROUGHT MARK’S LEG HIGHER AND BY DEDUCTION, THEIR HIPS CLOSER?? bc I did. bc I know that. and it’s true. AND THEN AS MARK (the little tease) LEFT, JACKSON TRIED TO KEEP HIM THERE!! GRABBED AT HIS WAIST!! I just want to know what on earth was going through Mark’s head when he decided to go and lay flush against his group member. seriously tho. but 11/10 would recommend them recreating this, in the presence of a solid 1080p filming camera preferably.

PIC LINK: http://bangtancity.tumblr.com/post/144433607756/ss-baeksoo-you-can-see-that-jackson-brought-up

VIDEO LINK: http://awesomemeowww.tumblr.com/post/127118208761/jackson-doesn-t-want-mark-to-leave-so-he-was-about

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erizee · 3 years

Text

got tagged by @excessively-english-jd ! :D thanks

1. why did you choose your url

ok so dont make fun of me for this but i chose it years ago when i was much more into homestuck than i am now and i didnt know how ship names work so. its 13 year old me's 2 favourite homestuck characters lmao. id change it but now its just My Name so

2. any side-blogs? if so, name them & why you have them

i also have @onlyforl8r & @refstoremembermine but theyre both just collections of stuff to look at later so theyre not like. Actual side blogs. i also have a ~secret personal trans stuff~ side blog but im not saying what it is lol

3. how long have u been on tumblr

since november (?) 2013 but i only rly started using it sometime in 2014 bc i didnt get how it works before that lmao

4. do u have a queue tag

nope im wayy too lazy to actually make a queue i just post everything live

5. why did u start ur blog in the first place

my friend convinced me to get it (if u see this hi lol)

6. why did u choose ur icon/pfp

i was super into mcr when i was 15 & i kept seeing gerard called "gee", which rhymes with "bee", so i drew gerard way as a bee. havent changed it since, its been 6 years

7. why did u choose ur header

its cute! its from my 1st town in animal crossing having coffee with one of my fave villagers in a trans shirt so it just fits too well

8. whats your post with the most notes

i assume this means posts we made ourselves bc thats the only thing ill find. anyway i only have 2 posts w more than 300 notes & theyre 1) a 671 note post about how everyone in venom (including venom) is rly hot & 2) a 602 note screenshot from the 3rd gotham season finale w a tumblr post screenshot "selling my feelings on ebay" on it. if ur curious theyre tagged for fandoms & i only tag my own posts so u can easily find them on my blog i think

9. how many people do u follow

oh god i have no idea, i barely ever unfollow people i just turn notifications off so its probably above 1000

10. have u ever made a shitpost

i mean yea ive had this blog for 8 years i 100% made stupid jokes on here before lol

11. how often do u use tumblr

its Thee social media i use so. every day many times a day lol. probably too much but eh who cares

12. did u ever have a fight/argument with a blog? who won?

nothing specific as far as i can remember but i used to be rly into one fandom a few years ago and there was a Huge mess going down there at the end. i wasnt involved but i knew/was mutuals with most ppl that were so

13. how do u feel abt "u need to reblog this post"

rly depends on my mood/what its about, sometimes ill reblog it & sometimes i wont

14. do u like tag games

yea! tagging other ppl is always rly hard because i never know if its okay or if im annoying ppl so i usually just do the answers & dont tag anyone lol but i Do like tag games!

15. do u like ask games

if thats what i think it is ("say sth & sent this to people") then :/ idk im not a fan, its like a tag game except u need to ask other ppl Much more directly & its terrifying lol

16. which of ur mutuals do u think is tumblr famous

uh idk? honestly i dont even know who im mutuals with for some ppl i know but im not checking my follower list that much so idk

17. do u have a crush on a mutual

(movie voice) "uh i have a boyfriend" lmao. no but seriously i dont rly get crushes nearly ever the "regular" way & it definitely never happens over tumblr for me

im tagging uhhhh @idkjustbreath, @scumlow, @geislieb & @cricketchirps

no pressure to answer but it would be nice :)

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