Shiro: Adam and I are having a baby.
Keith: That's gre-
Adam, slamming adoption papers on the table: It's you, sign here.
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Lance: hey mullet, can I take you to my therapist next week?
Keith: ... why?
Lance: she thinks I'm making you up–
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Pidge: Ugh, crushes are so dumb.
Lance: I know. Whenever I’m near the person I like I just start acting stupid.
Pidge: But you’re always acting stupid?
Lance: …
Lance: Yeah, don’t think about that too hard.
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Gen Z #1: Allurance is the best Voltron ship.
Gen Z #2: No way! It’s obviously Klance!
Gen X: I thought Keith and Allura ended up together?
*Gen X was removed from the chat*
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Person A: I didn't kill anyone today!
Person B: I'm proud of you.
Person A: You should be.
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lance, recording a tour of the castle: yeah, everyone's super friendly here! everyone’s like, best friends. like, watch this- hey, shiro!
shiro, passing by, intensely hungover: fuck you
lance, without hesitation: fuck you too!
lance, unphased: so yeah anyway everyone here is so nice they're my best friends
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keith, to lance: did you know that shiro has an instagram page dedicated to his bad parking
keith: like someone actually went out every day, looking for his car just to post it on their social media
shiro: PLEASE BE QUIET
shiro: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE BE QUIET
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Keith: I fell—
Lance: From heaven?
Keith: No, I literally fell—
Lance: In love with me the moment you saw me?
Keith: MY ARM IS BROKEN!
Lance: Okay, but do you think I'm pretty? Be honest.
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Keith, to Adam: why does Shiro have you as “baby girl” in his phone?
Adam:
Shiro: how about we stop talking for a bit
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Lance: Don’t worry, I know exactly what I’m doing. Everything is going to be fine!
Keith: How can you still say that?
Lance: Because sometimes, when things get tough, denial is all we have.
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*Keith and Shiro are splitting off from the team*
*Lance catches Keith's arm*
Lance: Hey, uh, be safe
Keith:... We will
*Shiro and Keith head off*
Pidge cradling Hunk's face: Be safe...
Hunk dramatically: I'll be so safe
Lance: Will you guys stop?-
Hunk: I'll be safe... for you
Lance:.... I'm gonna kill you
Pidge, still dramatically: But how would that keep us safe?
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Matt: Hey, Katie! You said you wanted to talk to me about something?
Pidge: Um, yeah about that… I’m actually trans.
Matt: Does that make me a—
Pidge: Don’t you fucking dare—
Matt: TrAnS-iStOr?
Pidge: I hate you.
Pidge: …
Pidge: Wait a fucking second—
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