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siriusly-sapphic · 1 year

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META: Trans Narcissa Malfoy

This is 7K words long and divided into 8 bullet points. It can also be found on AO3 through this link.

This is going to be an overview of my trans!Narcissa headcanon, with a look at queerness in the Black family/pureblood society as a whole, different family dynamics, and how growing up a trans kid in a society like this influences different headcanons/aspects of her character. Needless to say, this is based on my own headcanons and the very limited canon information we have about her (most of which does not inform us about her childhood and family relations as we’d like). It’s by no means meant as an argument as to why everyone should adopt this headcanon, it’s just informative and fun.

I have one reason for writing this and one reason only and it’s “I love this headcanon and want to be able to refer to it without spamming a whole explanation and additional headcanons into an unexpecting discord chat”. Plus, I want to write more headcanons about specifically my take on Narcissa, and for some of those headcanons it’d be very convenient to just be able to refer back to an existing post on how her being trans influences some things in the rest of her life.

How this will be structured:

First things first

1: A general look at how I think queerness is seen and treated in the Black family and by extension pureblood society.

2A: The Black family and the importance of sons and Heirs.

2B: Specifically Narcissa’s position.

3A: Getting to Narcissa’s specifics: a timeline on her realisation and coming out.

3B: Specifically, her parents’ and sisters’ reaction and her own fears.

4: Tying back to the Heirs, the reactions and attitudes of Narcissa’s cousins.

5:Narcissa’s plans for her future and openness about her being trans and queer. (Side tangent: Narcissa and the way she confirms to roles, not individuality.)

6A: Narcissa’s marriage and having a baby

6B: Raising Draco

7: How she chose her name.

8: Some fic recs to close it off

There'll be mentions of transphobia and miscarriage in this post!

Alright so let's get into it I’m so excited.

Firstly

The very simple reason why I love this headcanon. It’s entirely born from a conversation with a friend back in like 2014 on “but why doesn’t her name fit the rest of the cousins/most of her immediate family?” during which we looked at other fanon theories and then went “but what if…” and settled on this. There are obviously other theories, one of the most popular ones that I’ve seen being that Druella cheated and Narcissa is not a Black at all, hence Cygnus refused to give her a traditional name. Personally, I don’t like that as much, and I prefer to think of it as a name she chose herself.

Realistically, the author named Narcissa as a Malfoy and had not decided or simply forgotten that her maiden name would be Black. Narcissa as a character was very blatantly created as Draco’s mum and Lucius’ wife, and therefore she looks like that and not like a character born into the Black family. I don’t care. I’m giving her some fucking agency.

(Sidenote: I know that TODAY there is a star named Narcissus. It was named in 2014 which is well after Narcissa’s birth and the books’ release and it was named by a random person. This is not what Narcissa was named for.)

1: Queerness in the Black family (and pureblood society)

The way I see it, queerness in and of itself is not grounds for disownment within the family. Pureblood society functions best when everybody does what is expected of them, and is vaguely happy doing it. By no means does this mean that it’s celebrated or wholeheartedly accepted, but as long as it does not interfere with your willingness to fulfil your duties, who cares. If you’re insistent and dutiful, you can even change which role you’ll fulfil for your family, if the circumstances allow. At the same time, I imagine it’s a bit of a ‘don’t ask don’t tell’ situation, where privacy is greatly appreciated depending on the circumstances. Be gay, if you want to be, but do get married and don’t make a scandal.

How this interacts with different people in these families fully depends on what is expected and needed within a specific family. For example, a family like the Lestranges with two pureblood sons, wouldn’t have much of a problem if one of them was gay, as long as at least one of them got married and continued the family name. A family with only one son would be more strict about this, and most likely absolutely would expect their son to marry a witch regardless of his sexuality.

In the Black family specifically, this is complicated because the cousins cause enough trouble without involving queerness. If all of them believed in the blood politics and no one got disowned, Sirius being queer would not have been a huge deal. What I do believe caused problems is Sirius very happily and openly snogging halfblood wizards or blood traitors. If he’d bought into his family’s ideologies and Regulus had gotten married to a pureblood witch, and Sirius would’ve fallen for some wizard of the Sacred 28, arrangements could be made to make that work.

More specifically being trans, again, so highly depends on the circumstances. One of these is, again, simply the amount of other children willing and able to do as told. I will get into the importance of Heirs in a bit, but having at least one son per family is something most families strive for. In that regard, a trans son would be more likely to be happily received than a trans daughter, but again it depends on the circumstances. If a family has three children and two of them are cis wizards, the third being a trans witch would be far less of an issue than if (as in Narcissa’s case), the first two are also witches.

Obviously this is a far more complicated topic, but that’s the gist of it: it depends, but if you’re willing to do as told or you are lucky enough to have the siblings to ‘make up’, being queer is not the end of the world and can absolutely be accepted. Also, again obviously, I’m by no means saying that that’s a good and ideal way of treating queerness (or your children in general). I hope that’s clear.

2A: Sons and Heirs in the Black family

This is specifically about the importance of the name and of the Heir in the Black family, and how I imagine this would work for the two different branches we see in canon. (Orion and Walburga’s children, and Cygnus and Druella’s.)

Long story short: they’re important. Both Druella and Walburga would have entered their marriages knowing that the main thing expected of them is to not only have at least one son, but to raise that son into a proper Heir ready to continue the name and reputation of the Black family. In my head, this largely goes per branch of the family tree. Walburg having two sons does not mean that Druella should not have one, and if both had a son it would not matter as much who’s older. They’d both be raised as the respective Heirs of their fathers, and that’d be the most important role within that family.

For Sirius and Narcissa, in this case and following my basic timeline, this means that for the first fifteen years of Narcissa’s life, they were both viewed as the respective Heirs of their family. Regulus is Sirius’ ‘spare’, in that sense, in case Sirius fucks it up along the way (which, obviously, he does and we all love him for it), but that does not translate as much to giving Narcissa any leeway. Would it have been ‘worse’ if both her cousins were witches? Sure, absolutely, but having two male cousins does not mean her father doesn’t want his own Heir, too. Narcissa was supposed to be that, and clearly wasn’t.

2B: Narcissa’s own position in the family

In a way this builds very much on the semi-popular fanon that Narcissa, cis or trans, was supposed to be her father’s son. She’s the youngest of her sisters, and she’s the last child Druella has. She was Druella’s last chance of having the Heir her husband needed and fulfilling her duty towards the family she married into. I have seen headcanons where Narcissa is born a cis girl, immediately offsetting disappointment in her family because that’s not what was supposed to happen, and she suffers this perceived failure of her mother for much of her life.

If she’s trans, that’s not immediately what happens.

In this instance, Narcissa is born and she’s assumed to be the Heir her parents were waiting for. Her father’s Heir, his only son, her mother’s duty fulfilled and their absolute pride and joy. She would have been raised with the knowledge and understanding (and, I sincerely believe until she came to the realisation she’s a girl, full willingness) that she’d marry an appropriate pureblood witch and continue the family name, have her own Heirs, and do exactly as her family needed. After two older sisters, and as they grew older two rebellious older sisters (in different ways, but still), Narcissa was the golden child. Including as they got older compared to Sirius, she was the ‘better’ Heir.

Until she wasn’t.

I think this put Narcissa into a position where the role she had been raised and praised for her entire life, at one point becomes something that she can’t possibly live up to. Narcissa has always been raised for a very specific purpose, a purpose that I genuinely believe she would have wanted to fulfil if she thought she could, and then she comes to the realisation that she can’t. She knows her family. She knows what she needs to be, and she knows she can’t. Narcissa was the light of her family, the absolute golden child. She was that annoying brat that other parents pointed their children to in a “look at her, be more like her” manner. The example of what it meant to be a pureblood wizard’s Heir.

And that brings me to perhaps my favourite thing about her in this entire post.

She knew exactly what she was doing when she came out. She knew what she was risking, she knew what she was giving up, and she did it. More about that process in the next part, but that’s important. I don’t think there were many moments in Narcissa’s life where she chose something for herself without letting her family’s needs overshadow hers. Her coming out was exactly that. That was a choice she made knowing full well that it was one of the worst things she could do to her family, and I admire her for it.

That said:

3: The timeline, her realisation and coming out process

So in the briefest overview: the way I tend to write Narcissa, she realises that she’s trans somewhere in the beginning of her fourth year at Hogwarts, at 14. She comes out to her family (and with that, really, the rest of society) in the summer between fourth and fifth year, allowing her to start her fifth year as Narcissa.

That’s the timeline, roughly. But what matters here too, is how her cousins and sisters are doing. Frankly, Narcissa would’ve had an easier time transitioning if Sirius and Andromeda had stayed in their lanes (and she absolutely does carry some resentment about that towards them, however unfair this may be). For this I’m using mainly an alternate age gap between the Black cousins, not the canon one, but I’ll also make a brief note on how canon age gaps could work into this!

The way I most often write the Black cousins’ ages is as follows: when Narcissa is 15, Andromeda is 17/18, and Bellatrix is 19. Sirius is 14/15 and is only a few months younger than Narcissa, and Regulus is 13.

The most important thing about this is, for the sake of the timeline, this means that Sirius is already sorted and is already rebelling and is well on his way to getting disowned. He’s the family disappointment, only outdone by Andromeda who’s eloped with Ted at this point. Narcissa is the golden perfect child more than ever. And she’s realising she’s not.

This also means that her sister is already disowned. There are some rumours about Sirius potentially being disowned, too. Narcissa would be incredibly naive to the workings of her family if she went into coming out without acknowledging there was a possibility that she would be disowned. As I said, I don’t think that in pureblood society, being trans would necessarily immediately translate to being disowned, but in this particular case… That’s a very real possibility.

I think she knew that. I think she was willing to take that risk, and she was willing to suffer the consequences of being disowned. She knew it was a possibility, and she accepted that.

Between her realising she’s trans and her telling her family, there’s a period of time where I do think she genuinely tried to bargain with herself about it. Trying to see if she could make it work. If she could pretend, and keep pretending, and deny this about herself. And she decided she couldn’t, and it wasn’t worth it. Her choosing that her own well-being is more important than what her family needs from her is a rare decision on her part — it’s honestly not one she makes much more often.

Obviously, she did not get disowned. But that doesn’t change that she didn’t know that, and I want to give her credit for that.

If you want to follow a more canon timeline: the main big difference here is that Sirius would be a lot younger. By the time Narcissa comes out, he would not be rebelling yet, and while this places Regulus in a less vulnerable position at the time, it doesn’t necessarily change the pressure on Narcissa’s shoulder. Her father still would not have a replacement for his Heir.

3B: The family’s reactions to her coming out

So why is she not disowned?

My headcanon is basically that Druella wanted to disown her. Walburga perhaps even wanted to disown her. Cygnus considered it, very genuinely so, and then decided not to.

Again for this we look at the context: Andromeda has been disowned for eloping with a muggleborn wizard. Bellatrix is devoted to blood purity, but instead of being this obedient daughter to her family she’s following around Tom Riddle. In my head, Bella doesn’t get married very young and she’s quite rebellious in her own way in the sense that she wants a place in Voldemort’s circles and doesn’t really look for a husband immediately.

Narcissa has two sisters, one who’s disowned and one who has no intention of being the ideal daughter her parents would’ve preferred. Now, what their parents want is for Narcissa to remain their Heir, but Cygnus isn’t stupid either.

He’s in a position where whether he disowns Narcissa or not, his Heir is gone. Either he disowns her and she leaves the family and gets to live her life in peace, or he doesn’t disown her and she might not be his Heir anymore, but she’s still his devoted daughter. And Narcissa is devoted. She loves her family, she takes pride in her family, and her parents know that. Furious as they might be that she chooses herself over her family when she decides to transition, they’re not stupid and they know that she is devoted to the family reputation and whatever else she might do to help it.

So I think Cygnus decides not to disown her, with the deal that if she won’t be his Heir, she’ll be a damn perfect daughter. And Narcissa absolutely makes it her purpose in life to be just that. Cygnus’ reaction can be summed up as being disappointed, but willing to see what Narcissa can do for his family when she’s allowed to be herself. He’s not a great father, but that’s an alright moment. He does genuinely love his daughters, even if none of them end up quite what he’d expected or wanted from them, and between the three of them Narcissa remains his favourite.

Druella… I plan to write a whole separate post on Druella and Narcissa’s relationship. But Druella wants Narcissa to be disowned, and when Narcissa isn’t disowned, Druella does not forgive her. Druella became a mother because she was a wife and she had to give her husband sons. I think the way she sees it, it’s very simple: Narcissa was supposed to be the fulfilment of Druella’s duty, and instead she became the reason Druella ‘failed’. There is nothing Narcissa can do after coming out that is going to make Druella truly proud of her, truly happy to have her as a daughter. I don’t think that stops Narcissa from trying, but her mother very much sees her as a reflection of her personal failure, and she’s not getting back from that. Druella’s heinous, really.

Moving on to Narcissa’s sisters, Bellatrix and Andromeda: this ties back again to being trans or queer in general, is not as big a deal in most of the wizarding world as circumstances can make it. Andromeda is eloped by the time Narcissa comes out, or she’s in the process of running away, and I imagine the biggest feeling she has about it is concern regarding their parents’ reaction. She loves her little sister, though, and if anything she’s disappointed that Narcissa chooses to stay within the family when given the chance instead of just leaving. Bellatrix is a little more complicated, but ultimately positive.

For Bellatrix, I think her feelings are split between this strong protectiveness over her little sister, which is also fuelled by Andromeda having just left and Bellatrix is furious with her and really determined to not lose another one of her sisters. Where Andromeda is disappointed that Narcissa stays, Bellatrix celebrates it. On the other hand, she’s kind of jealous in a way, and that pisses her off. I think between Bellatrix and Narcissa, Bellatrix has always been the oldest and Narcissa has always been the most important. Bellatrix, in a way, would love to have what Narcissa was born into. That importance to the family, that position of power that Narcissa’s grown up in, being the favourite without even really trying. Narcissa was the one her parents had waited for, Bellatrix was ‘just’ the oldest daughter who had to prove herself.

And obviously, it’s not that simple, and it was hell for Narcissa in a different way, but from Bella’s perspective… I can see her being a little pissed off that Narcissa, out of all people, is stepping back from that role that she used to take such pride in and that the family has always prided her on. Ultimately though, Bellatrix also isn’t stupid and she can damn well see that Narcissa is going through it and needs her big sister, and I do genuinely believe that Bellatrix loved her sisters very deeply. It’s the two of them against the world, in a way, and they have each other’s back.

4: Heirs and cousins

Okay so tying back to the importance of Heirs in this godforsaken family. Sirius and Regulus’ reactions to Narcissa’s coming out are painful in two opposing ways. Here it becomes important, too, that Sirius and Narcissa in my headcanons are quite close in age.

Sirius and Narcissa grow up close together as the Heirs to their fathers. That’s such a particular kind of pressure and strain onto a young child that only the two of them really understand. Even compared to other pureblood families, not all of them are quite as uptight and strict. They found a lot of understanding in each other for those first 14 years. Regulus is Sirius’ ’spare’, in a way, and is not raised with quite that same pressure (yet).

The interesting thing here is (and one day I’ll do an entire post on just Sirius and Narcissa bc I love their dynamic) that both Sirius and Narcissa, as they get a little older and enter their teens, stop wanting to be the Heirs to their family. For the different reasons, obviously, but that still happens. Both become, in a way, disillusioned with these ideas that they’ve been raised with all their lives. Both of them, for different reasons and perhaps without expressing this to each other initially, want out.

Because both of them in a relatively short timeframe make it clear that they don’t intend to be these perfect Heirs they were supposed to be for much longer, Regulus gets put in an extremely difficult position. I do think that both Sirius and Narcissa feel a degree of guilt towards him, for that reason, even if they know there wasn’t really another way to make it work. From Regulus’ perspective though… I think he loves Narcissa, and he looks up to her, but for the first while after she comes out, he feels betrayed. He feels like she’s just made his life more difficult for a selfish reason, something he was already starting to feel about Sirius, and he doesn’t respond very well. He gets over that, with time (I think Sirius being officially disowned brings Regulus and Narcissa much closer, as they’ve both experienced that kind of ‘betrayal’ from a sibling. Yeah, seeing your siblings and cousins making choices that benefit them but make your impossible duties harder to fulfill is more often seen as betrayal by these kids then not, apparently).

Sirius, ironically, feels betrayed too.

As I said earlier, I think a lot of what pureblood kids are and aren’t allowed to get away with highly depends on what their siblings and cousins are doing in the meantime. For Sirius, this kinda means that when Narcissa comesout he knows that him running away is going to make things harder for Regulus than they would already have been. That complicates his feelings, but I think Sirius’ main feeling of betrayal actually comes from Narcissa not leaving the family.

I think that when Sirius and Narcissa both came to the conclusion that they didn’t want to be the Heirs of their family anymore, Sirius got a little hopeful. I genuinely think that for a short while there, his plans involved Narcissa being disowned and him being disowned too and the two of them who are already so close being able to make a better life for themselves away from the family that he’s grown to hate. Sirius doesn’t anticipate that Narcissa doesn’t want that. For Narcissa, disownment is a risk she’s willing to accept the consequences of, but when she’s not disowned she’s grateful and she’s happy and she refuses to entertain the idea of voluntarily leaving the family behind.

For that, Sirius feels betrayed. Regulus wants Narcissa to never have come out at all (for a little while), Sirius wants her to go all the way and truly rebel. Narcissa’s stuck in the middle where she always feels safest, and everyone’s left disappointed.

I promise things get a little happier.

5: Narcisssa’s plans moving forward

Looking at the course of her life, I think it’s safe to say that for Narcissa’s genuine happiness and well-being it would’ve been best, actually, if she’d been disowned at fifteen. If she had been forced out of the family, forced to find a different way of living outside of this restrictive family that demanded too much of her, she’d have been better off. But that’s not what happened.

Narcissa isn’t disowned, and to her that’s the best news she could’ve gotten. What this means, however, is that she’s now in a position where the reason she was allowed to stay a part of the Blackfamily, is because there was a chance she could be the perfect daughter neither of her sisters were. She takes that to heart, far too willingly, and it affects almost everything she does moving forward. To Narcissa, in some tragic way of thinking, she owes her family that much. She owes them perfection, because she failed the first time around and her father ‘forgave’ her. Moving forward, a lot of her motivation becomes “making her family proud” which can in a way be translated to “don’t make them regret this decision”.

And it’s very simple, really: all she has to be is perfect. Narcissa is someone who understands what is expected of her very very well, and for the most part what is expected of her corresponds with what she wants. She knows the rules of pureblood society, and I think from her perspective the most straightforward way of keeping herself safe and protected is by simply following these rules to a tee. She doesn’t push her luck, she keeps her head relatively down and does as told when it matters.

She’s one of those women who genuinely looks forward to marrying a rich man for his last name and have two picture perfect sons for him. While I think she’s a romantic at heart, I also think she’s ultimately realistic and she’s okay with not getting a fairytale marriage if that’s what her family needs. Narcissa takes so much pride in the Black family name, and honestly I think she’s aware that it’s partly that name that means that no one else in pureblood society would dare question her regarding her coming out or her transition. Whether that’s true or not (it entirely depends on other world building, obviously), she’s absolutely grateful for the protection offered by the Black name. Even if her parents are less than pleased about it, even if her mother wants her disowned, as long as she’s not, her mere association with the Black family offers security and a place in society that she otherwise easily could have lost.

In her eyes, the path forward is clear. Be Cygnus’ perfect daughter, become some pureblood wizard’s perfect wife, and raise his perfect children. It’s easy, it’s something she wants, and it’s something she’s genuinely good at. Narcissa understands society, she plays the game very well, and she has a good time playing.

The caveat here is that I do think this comes with the consequence of Narcissa genuinely not having much of an identity beyond the way she exists to other people. This is again something I want to make a separate post on, but for now: Narcissa has been raised to fulfill a purpose, not as a child and a person in her own right. When she transitioned, she didn’t necessarily seek out individuality, either. She sought to change the purpose she fulfilled in her family, and quite frankly being her own person with individual needs and desires was not high on her list of priorities.

Narcissa was raised the Black Heir, and it takes her a really long time to stop identifying herself as much more beyond Cygnus Black’s Daughter or Mrs. Lucius Malfoy, or even simply Draco Malfoy’s mother. Following a canon timeline, I don’t think it’s unrealistic for her to not truly let herself be just Narcissa until the Second War is over. Even when she perceives herself to make a genuinely selfish decision in pushing forward with her transition despite her family’s wishes, she does it in such a way that still does not allow for genuine personal freedom on her part. That’s just not what she seeks out — and it takes her a long time to realise that that’s even something she needs. (That said, fics and headcanons that push her to realise this much sooner are my absolute favourite).

Throughout the rest of her life, she kind of exists in this space between being out and being open about being trans (and being queer in general, I also headcanon her as being bisexual). For obvious reasons, most everyone in the wizarding world who reads Witch Weekly and keeps up a little bit with pureblood society knows that Narcissa’s come out. It’s genuinely big news for the infamous Black Heir to transition. That’s a thing. Narcissa doesn’t mind that that much, it’s something she expected but it’s also the reason she is genuinely very grateful that her family has her back in the eyes of the public.

But after the initial wave of shock and curiosity, when she’s married and she’s on her way of having a baby… she doesn’t mind just never bringing it up again. Narcissa never treats being trans as a secret, and it’s absolutely not something she’s ever ashamed about, but she’s not the kind of person who gets involved in activism or longs to be a spokes person for the trans community. You’ll never see her at a pride parade. It’s honestly a shame, and I think it could do her well to find genuine pride (and not arrogance), but that’s not who she is.

I imagine for Narcissa, it almost feels like her transition is a very specific chapter in her life that happened, that’s past, that she feels no shame about whatsoever, but she sees no reason to revisit it. Most people of Harry’s generation that aren’t purebloods won’t even know, and she doesn’t care if they do (if asked, for whatever reason, she sees no point in hiding. She’s not closeted in any way. She simply passes well and has no desire to bring up the past.)

6: Narcissa’s marriage and having Draco

First things first, the first “but actually” comment I always get if I mention trans!Narcissa is “but she has a child” and quite frankly, fuck that. This is a world with magic and the magic in HP has shitty rules that allow for near anything to be possible. This is also a fandom that loves to write cis teen boys accidentally knocking each other up and if you can make that look plausible in your worldbuilding, a trans woman with the resources and privilege Narcissa has, can damn well make it happen.

That said: her family. This will be a little shorter, because there are so many different interpretations of lucissa and I love so many of them but most of them are pretty similarly influenced by Narcissa being trans, honestly, unless you choose to headcanon Lucius as transphobic which personally, I just don’t want to. (My favourite description of Lucius comes from @nymphadoratonqs's portrayal of him in the sense of him being equally misogynistic towards cis and trans women lmao, but that still doesn’t apply to all lucissa ideas).

Regardless of whether Lucius and Narcissa have this epic love story or if it’s a cold and loveless arranged marriage, Narcissa would’ve married him blindly when her family wanted her to. It’s honestly that simple. To her, Lucius doesn’t have to be Prince Charming, even though she’ll love to be convinced he is. Lucius is simply a part of the duties she has towards her family, and the marriage between them is something she wants not necessarily for love but for the status and protection it provides her with and the good it does for her family’s reputation. I tend to headcanon that Narcissa married Lucius before Bellatrix married Rodolphus, so it was pretty important for her to get married quickly and get married well.

Her marriage to Lucius is in this way simply the next step in what I described in point 5: it’s what she has to do, and it’s something she’s willing to do. She likes being a wife, she genuinely does, and sad as it is, Lucius’ behaviour or care for her does not immediately change that. Whether they are madly in love before they get married, or he doesn’t bother to ask her how her day was for the entirety of the marriage.. She wants to be his wife, and she prides herself on the name Mrs. Lucius Malfoy as much as she prided herself on the name Narcissa Black.

Regarding Draco, Narcissa wants to be a mother. I think she found it quite hard in the first years, and her difficult relationship with her own mother didn’t help in the slightest, but she wants motherhood. It’s a pretty common fanon idea that Lucius and Narcissa struggled to conceive and/or suffered from miscarriages before having Draco, and that’s always been a headcanon I’ve adopted myself too.

Miscarriages happen, that’s just a tragically common fact of nature. Fertility struggles happen. These things are more common than people often acknowledge, and I don’t think the wizarding world is very different, I’d certainly ague that pureblood society is terrible about it. A pureblood witch’s most important duty is to provide her husband with sons and continue that precious bloodline. When Narcissa struggles to get pregnant, and when she loses a pregnancy, she’s both devastated and deeply humiliated.

Obviously it’s not true, but it feels like there is this one thing that she wants and that she also must do, that is expected of her, and is almost something that she feels like should ‘prove’ that she was right to think herself capable of being this perfect wife and daughter. And she fails. There are very few things that she’s quite as private about as her struggles with pregnancy. Up until the moment she’s far enough along with Draco that it feels relatively safe, she insists to anyone who asks that she and Lucius are purposefully waiting until the war settles down to have children. She absolutely refuses to admit to anyone, with perhaps the exception of one or two genuinely close friends, that anything else is happening.

And then there’s Draco.

6B: Raising her son

Draco as we see him in canon is a spoiled brat, a bigoted child, and just a general asshole. Love him or hate him, he takes after his parents and he needs some fucking work. Narcissa loves him more than she’s ever loved anything or anyone.

There’s a lot more to be said about Narcissa and Draco’s relationship, also in relation to Narcissa’s own parents and the war and it’s all so interesting, but for this particular post I’m focusing on the way Narcissa chooses to raise her son, the Malfoy Heir, after her own experiences being her father’s Heir and the pressure and the disappointment of letting him down. Narcissa knows what’s expected of her in regards to raising Draco, and she knows what will be expected of him, but there’s a line.

As I mentioned earlier, while Narcissa never bothers going through effort of hiding being trans, it’s not something she brings up herself and she prefers to live her life without giving people any potential reasons to criticise her. The exception is Draco. She ensures that from a young age, he knows she’s queer, and most important that he knows that should he ever realise he’s queer himself, she’ll understand and she’ll love him. She never wants him to feel quite as trapped in his position in the Malfoy family as she did, and she never wants him to struggle between the decision of potentially being disowned and living a life he can be genuinely happy in. Obviously, in the grand scheme of the war, none of this really ends up mattering, but that’s a very conscious choice she makes when raising Draco.

There are a lot of mistakes she (and Lucius) make when raising their son. Draco’s spoiled rotten, he’s never been told no, and then he’s put in this extremely dangerous situation as a result of his parents’ choices and mistakes. Narcissa, devoted of a mother as she is, fucks up. But she does this right. She really does. There is nothing Draco can do that would make her even consider turning her back on him, and he knows that.

7: Choosing her name

This is both where this headcanon originated and my favourite little tidbit about Narcissa’s character. I strongly believe that her deadname did fit the Black family tradition of stars and constellations and all that fun space stuff. I’ve also said that I very much believe that Narcissa was overjoyed to be able to remain a part of her family, and that she did genuinely strive to be the perfect daughter for her parents.

So why did she choose a name that did not reflect the tradition of the family she loves so dearly?

Long story short: it’s a small reminder, every day, that she did choose herself.

I think she picked the name Narcissa before she came out to her parents, before she knew if she was going to be disowned or not but at a point where she did know that she wasn’t going to be held back by the fear of disownment. She purposefully chose something that had nothing to do with her family because she had to be able to remind herself that as much as she wanted their approval, she didn’t need it. (Of course, as she grows up she does a whole lot more with the explicit purpose of gaining their approval, but Narcissa is nothing if not a very contradictory woman).

The name Narcissa comes from Greek Mythology, and it’s my personal headcanon that especially when she’s younger, she’s quite the little nerd about Greek Mythology. She read the myths in Ancient Greek and all that, and she’s honestly so pretentious about it. (Additionally: Uncle Alphard gave her her first book on mythology as a young child and she’s held onto it ever since). Narcissus is a figure who is so beautiful that just about everyone who meets him falls in love at first sight, and he’s so arrogant that people kill themselves from how cruelly he rejects them. (Literally. There’s one guy who declares his love and says he’ll die without Narcissus’ affection, and Narcissus sends him a dagger in response.) Eventually, cursed by Aphrodite for the way he treated a nymph called Echo, Narcissus falls in love with his own reflection in the water. He withered away, so heartbroken that he could never love himself, until he was transformed into a daffodil.

I think it’s one of Narcissa’s favourite myths for a long time, and when choosing a name it feels almost obvious. Part of her simply genuinely wants to be that beautiful. She wants to be able to look in the mirror and all but fall in love with herself. And she certainly succeeds.

It’s also simply a quiet act of rebellion that no one but her own family would even notice. No one else would actually realise that technically Narcissa isn’t derived from a star, it sounds every bit as pretentious as all the other names. It’s very clever in that way. Only her parents will ever really know just how willing she was to step away from the family for her own sake, until she didn’t have to.

8: A couple of fic recs and ideas

I’ll say there aren’t a lot of works where Narcissa’s explicitly written as trans (there are 23 works in the “trans narcissa black malfoy” tag, and a lot of them are from ships I’m personally not interested in reading). I’ve listed a handful of fics, and a few ideas for stories that I would love to read or write one day.

Excellence by SiriuslySapphic

Yeah yeah I’m starting with a self rec. I’ll also say that though not every Narcissa fic on my page actually goes into detail of Narcissa being trans, all but one WIP is written with trans!narcissa in mind bc that’s just the way I write Narcissa.

Excellence is a Dorcas/Narcissa WIP that starts in fifth year (after the summer that she comes out) and will follow them throughout the first war. It’s about the two of them figuring out who to be in pureblood society, how the war divides everyone, and queerness in the wizarding world with a healthy dose of magical theory later on. It’s not canon compliant (Dorcas doesn’t die), and will be angsty with a happy ending.

A Most Uxorious Tale by TheWakeless

Ux-o-ri-ous def. having or showing an excessive or submissive fondness for one's wife.

This is 40K words of Lucius/Narcissa with the vibes of Morticia and Gomez Addams. It’s mainly canon compliant with a happy ending and it deals with Narcissa’s transition, her childhood, a lot of dark magic and gaining the Dark Lord’s approval. It’s a detailed look at how queerness exists in the wizarding world, and what it’s like to transition within pureblood society.

Two-way Mirror by Lightinthehallway

So I mentioned just how interesting Sirius and Narcissa’s relationship is freaking interesting and her being trans only increases that complicated dynamic. This fic looks at exactly that, except they’re both trans and it’s a whole thing and there’s pain and betrayal and trust, and I love it. Andromeda’s reaction in this really hurt me, but I also kinda like that complicated take on their relationship. This is also a fascinating look at how coming out goes differently in both branches of the Black family, and how it interacts with existing family dynamics!

And some ideas: I think it’d be so interesting to write about Narcissa a little bit later in life, perhaps while Draco and his friends are growing up. Fics with conversations between Narcissa and Draco, maybe, or him coming out to her later in life?? I also love the the trans!pansy headcanon, and I’d honestly love to see fics or hcs where Narcissa is this kind of role model to younger pureblood kids and just?? Please?

I also really love the idea of Narcissa after the second war getting the chance to live a life for herself, in a world where pureblood society and last names matter a little less than she was used to growing up. Narcissa being able to figure out who she is beyond last names and titles, as long as it may take? (This works beautifully in combination with a lot of different post war ships, too! A current favourite of mine is Remus/Narcissa healing after the war).

(I’m obsessed with Narcissa learning the beauty of individuality and personhood) so another idea is literally any AU that lets her get out of the Black family as it works. Narcissa who gets disowned when she comes out, is devastated, and in the long run finds she’s better for it. Narcissa who runs away willingly when Sirius does, or who ends up on Andromeda’s doorstep shortly after Hogwarts because she’s come to the realisation that she matters as more than a Role.

Conclusion / TLDR

The basics of everything I just said (it’s a grand total of 7K words) can be summarised as “Trans!narcissa comes out at about 15 in a family that values the contribution children make to the family reputation over absolutely everything else. She’s not disowned because her father decides to let her prove herself worthy of carrying the Black name after all, and she genuinely wants to make it her life purpose to basically not let him down. She struggles a lot with the concept of being an individual and does not see this as a problem, but she raises Draco with an insane amount of spoiling and a genuinely healthy dose of you are loved and will never have to fear being thrown out over something you can’t help. Her name is its own little form of rebellion that no one but her parents really notice and it also shows off that she’s a tiny little nerd at heart.”

Otherwise, I don’t really know how to end meta posts like these so…? That was that? I hope this was an interesting read. If anyone has any like questions or recs or just thoughts my inbox is open lmao I love to waste time talking about Narcissa Malfoy.

#narcissa malfoy #harry potter #hp meta #marauders era #dead gay wizards #that's a tag used for the marauders era too right lol #lucissa #draco malfoy #trans headcanon #trans narcissa #hp headcanon #my posts #meta #my meta

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asphaltvalkyrie · 5 months

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I had an extremely slow day at work today, so I chose to look busy by writing about BG3. Someone smarter than me has probably had this revelation before, but it gave me pause enough for me to feel like I need to share it.

I decided to romance Gale in my 2nd playthrough, with the intent of letting him get ahold of the Crown of Karsus, and its making me Feel Things. I like this walking apocalypse of a wizard a lot (he and Karlach are my easy faves,) but its taken romancing him to really see that

tl;dr Gale's backstory really makes a handy allegory for gifted kid burnout.

From the beginning he was special, a golden child, someone who would do great things and go far. So, he ended up building his entire personality on that eventuality. Older authority figures took a special interest in his talent and he immediately wanted nothing more than to please them, at the cost of making friends or learning life skills (well, except cooking apparently?)

(Then there's the whole issue of him developing a sexual relationship with Mystra who was without a doubt considerably older than he was and had that "but he's so mature for his age," mindset and all the fuckery that comes with that holy shit I can't even begin to desconstruct how much that would fuck someone up.)

Then he makes a mistake. He breaks a rule he didn't know existed. Why doesn't he know that rule existed? Because no one told him. They conflated his intelligence with maturity and his self-confidence with knowing his own limits. They forgot that he's basically a kid compared to them. (Elminster is what, centuries old? And Mystra is a fucking deity.) He lacks the emotional maturity to understand why what he did was so bad.

Gifted kids know. Among the absolute worst thing an adult can say to you is "I expected more of you," or "you should have known better." Which is pretty much what Elminster and Mystra said to him. And then they not only withdrew their attentions and support, but they also refused to help him deal with the orb - an omnipresent physical and spiritual reminder of his trangression. After that... he just has no idea what to do with himself. He sits in his wizard tower until the Mind Flayers get him.

By the time the others find him, he's realized that the talent he used to get by on no longer serves him, but since he built his whole personality around it, he doesn't know how else to act. So he maintains the bluff and bluster of a child prodigy, but he's now keenly aware of how pointless it is. He seems insufferably arrogant at times, but there's a razor-fine edge of self-loathing to that arrogance that he couches in self-aware humor. Over the course of his short time with the party he starts to feel like he's cared for and among friends, and even proves himself an attentive, affectionate and very grateful partner if you romance him.

Then Elminster shows up and tells him to atone for what he did by suicide bombing the Elder Brain. Bam, there goes his hope of finding a life outside of that "greatness" others told him he was destined for. Once a gifted kid always a gifted kid. Destined to be a human sacrifice on the altar of someone else's expectations, for good or ill.

And in a semi-related note, when you take him through the Dryad's trial, the answer to the question "whats his biggest flaw" is that "he thinks the world would be better off with him dead" and he says that its very true, but he didn't realize it until you said it.

Then you find the Annals of Karsus, and what does he say he wants to do with it? Reforge the Crown of Karsus with it so that he can obtain godlike power and make the world better for mortals, and he wants to share it with you. With how smart he is, he really should know thats a terrible idea. But he doesn't, because of a combination of hubris and naivete. He learned absolutely zero lessons from the orb debacle because he hasn't really been allowed to learn any lessons beyond "I just have to do the thing I'm good at, only I have to try harder this time."

I'm only on the second netherstone, but I have a feeling that this is going to end very badly.

#gale of waterdeep #gale dekarios #bg3 #bg3 thoughts

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fujowebdev · 1 year

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📔FujoGuide Spotlight #3: Zine Demo📔

With the cast spotlights out of the way (find the links at the end of the thread), today we want to focus on the actual product we'll be putting in everyone's hands: our Version Control zine.

If you're just joining us, you can get this zine in your eager fujin hands (and help us reach our stretch goals) by backing us on Kickstarter.

If you want to follow along with the demo, you can find it here as a PDF.

Before we go into the nitty-gritty details, we chose Version Control as our first topic because, while working with both beginner and experienced coders, they reported it as the most life-changing (but intimidating) skill they gained. It also helps them join open-source projects!

Keep reading for lots more!

Remember: all you see here is a work in progress, and things may and will change in the zine. Our campaign is a love-letter to Japanese productions like otome games and "cast full of hot boys" anime. Similarly, our zine calls back to Japanese fan productions, a.k.a. doujinshi.

As you likely noticed, we pride ourselves on committing to the bit. This zine is no different. For example, Boba-tan, pitched as the revolutionary brain behind our educational devices, is both its fictional author and protagonist. After all, who doesn't love a good self-insert?

After this, the zine follows a simple pattern: a comic explains the current plight of our protagonist, a new character/technology is introduced, and then we dive deeper into concrete examples of how the technology is used in a practical workflow. We keep it light but useful!

Let's show, not tell! Behold, our first comic by @tempural (🎨) and @essential-randomness (🖋)! Boba-tan, deadline quickly approaching, manages to wreck her website! #relatable

Fear not! Terminal has a simple solution, which we fully endorse: Boba-tan, meet Git! (bonus HTML cameo 👀)

Next is Git’s character introduction featuring @brokemycrown's amazing art. This page serves a double purpose: it adds depth to the character (and some laughs), but most importantly it's a memorable way to help the core concept immediately stick in the reader's brain.

And now we finally reach the core of our offering, that is our actual educational material. The current version (remember, a work in progress) was planned by @essential-randomness, written by @enigmalea, and reviewed by our technical writing consultant wiredferret.

After the campaign, we plan to work closely with backers to deliver material that truly works. But while the content is in flux, you can see the landmarks of our experience: simple explanations that don't shy away from the technical details, with hot men sprinkled all around!

Fun fact: we also used Git & GitHub to collaborate on the zine itself! Thanks to Vivliostyle's powerful tools for typesetting with code, @essential-randomness and @enigmalea were able to use the techniques we're teaching to iterate together without stepping on each other's toes!

And that is all for today! We hope you're now even more excited for this guide to soon be reality. Although we hit our initial goal (🎉🎉🎉) we still have many stretch goals to go. Help us smash through them in this final week by backing us at our Kickstarter page.

If you missed the previous spotlights and wish to learn more about our characters in the Localhost HQ and Browserland spotlights.

#fujoguide #codeblr #kickstarter #gijinka #web development #webdev #vivliostyle #css #git #terminal #github #html #aria #and of course boba-tan!#zines #original zine #contributor spotlight #spotlight

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noforkingclue · 2 years

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Ignored Warnings (John Constantine x reader)

Summary: You tried to warn him, you really did. Too bad John didn’t pay attention to you until it was too late.

Author’s Note: writing for someone new so I hope this is ok! I’ve been wanting to write something John Constantine related for a while now, plus I’ve started reading Hellblazer again (easily one of my favourite comics!). The reader is a seer in this fic

DC tag list: @mxacegrey

Everything tag list: @greenrevolutionary, @byebyebreezywrites, @spngingerbread21, @layazul, @lov3vivian, @simonsbluee

It was raining. It always seemed to be raining in Newcastle.

You leant against the wet brick wall of the alleyway as you fumbled in your pockets for your packet of cigarettes. You didn’t want to be here, you wanted to be anywhere but here, but you had to be. You saw it happen and if you didn’t follow through with what you saw you were going to get an awful migraine.

“Looking for these?”

You closed your eyes as the sickeningly familiar voice cut through the night. The alley seemed to absorb the noise of the traffic, the drunken shouting becoming muffled against the expectant silence. A click of a lighter jolted you out of your thoughts as wet footsteps slowly approached you.

“You knew what was going to happen.”

“Of course.”

“And you didn’t think to warn any of us? To warn me.”

“You didn’t want to know.”

“Why don’t you say that to my fucking face.”

“You made your choice, Constantine,” you hissed, “I tried to tell you but you chose not to listen.”

In a flash John gripped your shoulders and slammed you against the brick wall. Your vision swum as the back of your head connected with the brick before slowly becoming clear again. You wish that it hadn’t. You wished that you were capable of magic and could disappear through the wall.

John blonde hair was stuck to his head, one of your cigarettes dangling between his teeth. You reached up and plucked it free and took a deep drag. You were surprised that he didn’t put up much more of a fight to retain it.

“You should’ve made me listen.”

“That’s your trouble,” you said, “You’re too stubborn. You never listen to anyone unless they’re agreeing with you.”

“You could’ve helped.”

“I tried,” you snapped, “But you didn’t want my help because I told you not to.”

“She was a child.”

“And you damned her to hell!”

“Don’t you think I don’t know that!”

The rain seemed to get heavier. John locked eyes with you before you quickly looked away. John sighed and rested his head on your shoulder. You tensed at the action as he muttered,

“You should’ve said what was going to happen. I thought we were… friends.”

“Y’know that isn’t true.”

John raised his head slowly as you took another drag on the quickly dying cigarette. You offered him it and tried not to shudder as his calloused fingers grazed against yours. You inhaled deeply as John blew a stream of smoke directly at you, not giving you the same courtesy as you gave him by trying to direct it away. For a second you had forgotten just how close the two of you were but that dragged you back into reality. John’s warm body pressing you up against the cold brick wall. For some reason the rain seemed to be avoiding you and you put that down to John’s magic. The sound of John putting out the butt on the wall brought you out of your thoughts.

“So this is it,” you asked, “Goodbye.”

“Has to be, love.”

After a moment’s hesitation John stepped away. Immediately the rain started up again and you glared at him. The corner of John’s lip twitched as he threw you the pack of cigarettes that he had stolen. Oh well, at least the bastard had the decency to re-fill them. Who knew that magic could be useful on occasion?

“Oh and y/n?”

You looked over at John who was walking back out of the alley.

“Yeah?”

“If I see you again, I will kill you.”

“Thanks for the warning.”

#fanfiction #dc #reader insert #john constantine #john constantine x reader

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oosahwtf · 22 days

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After a 6 month hiatus from reading I have finally returned with the novel Juniper and Thorn by Ava Reid. My friend @zxromance and I recently started doing a book club to help me get back into reading and writing more and Juniper and Thorn was the first book I chose. That being said, many of the thoughts and opinions I share in this report are taken from the notes and discussion between @zxromance and I so I would like to credit him for his contribution to my overall take away from this novel. Before I get into it I would also like to state THERE ARE MAJOR SPOILERS in this report and if you read the description of this novel and think it’s something you might be interested in reading please read the novel and come back to this.

Juniper and Thorn by Ava Reid is a gothic horror fantasy novel that is a retelling of The Juniper Tree from Grimm’s Fairy Tales. I would like to mention there are trigger warnings on this book for child S.A., S.A., cannibalism, self mutilation, body dysmorphia, eating disorders, child abuse, abuse, and general body horror. I will say, when I saw those trigger warnings I was nearly scared off from reading this book all together but I believe the author handled these topics gracefully and it was a pretty easy read all things considered. I did struggle a bit in the beginning with not understanding what a lot of the words meant, as to be expected in a fantasy novel, but with a little bit of googling it was a much smoother read after the first couple of chapters.

I think one of my favorite aspects of this book that I kept coming back to is how perfectly it captures the cycle of abuse and how it affects people's behaviors and decisions. One example of this is how Marlinchen keeps returning to her father instead of just leaving. I know as a survivor of abuse that this is so common to return to these situations out of comfort and fear of the unknown, especially if this is all you’ve ever known. Marlinchen is also so scared of her abuser that she believes he has a lot more power over her than he actually does. You see this when she believes that he can make these potions that he isn’t actually capable of creating and he threatens her with a lot of things he never actually does. It is common once you escape abuse that you realize how small your abuser actually is. Another example of how well this novel shows abuse is the relationship between Sevastyan and Derukach. Not only is there sexual abuse but also financial abuse. Their relationship also shows how abusers put up the facade of kindness when met with the possibility of their victim leaving the situation. This is also shown of course between Marlinchen and her father when she returns after running away. I think another very accurate and important way that this novel depicts abuse is through Marlinchen’s sisters. Both Undine and Rosenrot were insufferable yet their characters showed perfectly the effects that the cycle of abuse has on people. They were both doing what they could do to survive and their negative behaviors were learned behaviors from their abuser, which is how the cycle of abuse is so often continued. Overall, I love how well written and accurate this part of the book is. It seems to be most of my book report but it is a consistent and constant theme in this novel.

Now since I got through the darker topics I’m going to get into my lighter hearted thoughts about the novel. Why is Marlinchen falling in love with this man immediately when all he’s done is look pretty and be an alcoholic? Because it’s a fairy tale of course. Honestly as someone who got married after knowing someone for a month when I was 18, super relatable content. It’s definitely accurate behavior for someone who is just now going out and experiencing the world and love for the first time. I would also like to add that against my will for this entire novel I could only picture Marlinchen as Taissa Farmiga in American Horror Story season one and Sevastyan as early 20s Tom Felton. A couple things that irked me through this whole novel were how often Marlinchen calls herself ugly and how annoying Sevastyan’s flirting was. I will say Marlinchen’s body image issues were very accurate to how someone’s brain would work when being abused this heavily but I got very tired of her being like “but I’m ugly” all the time. Sevastyan’s behavior was honestly just time period appropriate but still annoying. Their sex scene on broken glass was kinky enough that I’ll let all of that slide.

Overall, an amazing novel and so much more than I was expecting out of a fantasy novel honestly.

#bookblr #books and novels #novels #reading #fantasy #horror #gothic #novel #horror fantasy #gardening #dark fantasy #gothic horror #horror books #juniper and thorn #ava reid #book club #book report #book review #grimm fairy tales

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thewhumpcaretaker · 3 months

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The Broken Veil: Summary of Unfinished Remaining Chapters

As I mentioned in the author's notes, I've had a mental health crisis related to maladaptive dreaming/limerence/mania/I-don't-exactly-know while writing this story. I'm going to stop and focus on the real people who care about me. So, here's the spoiler-filled outline of what the rest would have looked like to prevent myself from returning to the project. If you want to know what would have happened, here it is!

With that, this blog is going dark.

With love for all whumpees, real and fictional,

TheWhumpCaretaker

Helen and John talk with The Bowery King. They explain why Helen is invulnerable and propose revolution. “How many assassins are there in New York alone? And how many of them chose this life? Don’t you think something is out of balance?” He agrees to back them. However, he is interested in using her powers to his own advantage.

The Director hears what’s been happening and puts out the call for information about Helen. Helen’s grave is exhumed. There is no body, only her clothes. The Director is afraid of hell. “It’s hard to tell who’s dead and who’s alive these days. Gianna D’Arentino’s dead and then she’s missing and then she’s back…and now this mysterious woman claiming to be Helen Wick.”

They go to confront Santino. Helen talks John down from killing Ares and they leave her with a knife in her aorta, incapacitated but with the option to survive if she doesn’t pursue them.

Helen shoots Santino. Winston: “Your wife is excommunicado.” Helen: “Can’t kick me out of a club I’ve never joined.” Unfortunately, John is responsible for Helen’s behavior while on Continental Grounds, so he may still be excommunicated too.

Conversation with Winston (and Ares?). “How do you know that that…thing is your wife? How do you know it’s not some bride of the devil?” “Because I am the devil, and she is my bride.”

Helen meets John’s new dog. Pure fluff.

The High Table holds a trail to decide whether John is liable for Helen killing Santino, his marker holder. Meanwhile, they are assembling a team, first contacting Gianna and Cassian. Cassian is immediately onboard, Gianna is not. Helen makes her realize how much she loves Cassian through some means and she joins them.

Others who join include Caine, Sophia, and Ares. Winston is reluctant to join, not wanting to let go of the world as he knows it and his position of power. John fears for his life in the coming war.

They discover that Helen is pregnant. “What if this is why you were sent back? What if we only have nine months together?”

John proposes to Helen for a vow renewal, because they said “till death do us part,” and now he knows that death will not part them.

At some point, mission to kill the head of the high table.

At some point, John is stranded in the rain with severe injuries until Helen can find him, followed by a sicfic chapter.

At some point, existential crisis chapter. Winston is wounded or dead. John asks, “Why are there beings at all? If we’re all headed for nonbeing…why can’t we just shorten the trip?” “Because of the becoming. Out there, nothing changes. Don’t you want things to change, John? We aren’t finished yet.”

At some point, the movement begins burning the money and leverage held by all heads of crime throughout the world.

At some point, they call for the end of all markers. “No debts, no markers.”

At some point, John and Helen’s vow renewal takes place.

At some point, shortly before the birth, they hold a revelation. An announcement broadcast to the entire world about the nature of death and the afterlife, with Helen as living proof. A new era of different turmoil begins, including religious conflicts and attempts to reach loved ones. The meaning of assassination is altered forever. Mediums are established.

Helen gives birth. I have yet to choose between three endings:

Happy ending: Apparently, she is still needed at John’s side, because she remains with him.

Bittersweet ending: Helen vanishes back into the afterlife and John spends his remaining days passing on all of his wisdom and fighting skills to his daughter, who is born between life and death and carries supernatural powers, including the ability to help them communicate at times.

Weird ending: There is a battle going on at the time. John dies to save the baby, but claws his way back from the dead just as Helen did. They reign together over a new world as immortals.

#john wick #john x helen #helen wick #fanfic ending

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achaiapelides · 1 year

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Kit's Diary

Chapter 3

Dear Ty,

I enrolled in a school today. Tessa and Jem suggested that it would be good for me to get in contact with some mundanes in our area, so I could find some new friends. I actually didn't want to, but they seemed to think that this was a good idea and were so happy, so I didn't want to disappoint them and agreed. It's a pretty big school, because all the kids in the area go there. I had some problems finding all the rooms first, but I guess I'll get a hang of it eventually. I had to elect advanced courses. Tessa told me history is quite interesting, English too. She knows this because she apparently attended the school a few years ago because she got bored, as you do as an immortal warlock.

First I got my timetable and a tour of the school with Tessa and Jem by the secretary, an older, very strict looking lady, but she was actually not that bad. She looked at my hand weirdly though, as if she could see my rune, Tessa assumes she probably is a mundane with sight. Afterwards I had my first class. Obviously maths. Ugh. But the teacher, a young man about 25, is very nice and actually managed to make me understand the stuff he explained. He even uses some new technology called IPad and beamer and made videos for us to watch at home so we can understand the topic better.

Since I know you're interested in that and Livvy is probably too, I'm going to explain it to you now. An IPad is a bit like a computer but you can, like on your smartphone, touch the screen so you don't need a mouse. But it's bigger than a phone, so you can write on it too if you have a pen that is connected to it. I don't quite understand how this works, I'm bad at physics and electronics okay? But I'm sure you can find that out by yourself if you want. A beamer is a device that you can connect to your IPad and project the thing you see on its screen onto a wall with light, like in a cinema.

So maths wasn't actually that bad. The only problem was a girl in my class, I think her name is Leo, who looked at me really weird, but not the same way as the secretary. She probably has the sight too and can see my runes. I fear she might ask me about it, so I guess I have to come up with some story, how I got them. I'm going to ask Jem and Tessa later.

After two hours of math, where I surprisingly did not die of boredom, I had history. They talked about Henry VIII, you know, the English King with the many wives. The teacher, Mrs. Addams is pretty strict, but still quite a good teacher. You have to imagine her a bit like a young Professor McGonagall from Harry Potter. If you don't know Harry Potter, you should read the books immediately, there's pretty good, even though the author is a bitch. But back to history: It was also quite interesting, especially the history of Henry's wives. Especially Anne Boleyn and Catherine Parr are very interesting.

Afterwards we had English with the same teacher. Apparently she kind of connected both subjects because we're reading Shakespeare in English class. She decided that we're going to read different works of him in groups. My group consists mostly of girls, who of course chose "Romeo and Juliet". I'm kind of bummed because Shakespeare has so much more interesting works but, I mean who can blame them, when Leonardo Di Caprio plays Romeo in the movie.

There is another boy in my group, his name is Sam. He has light brown skin, dark brown hair and is definitely straight. Not that he said that, my gaydar is just like "nope, don't even try". He does look a bit like a male Livvy, but more tanned. Quite attractive, but not my type... that's you. (Ok Kit, stop simping about Ty, you were writing about school!) Leo is also in my group. She does look a bit like Hazel, but white, blonde and definitely not a werewolf. But they kind of have the same face. Maybe they're related or something. She was eyeing me the whole time though. But not like a "fuck me"-stare, more like a "you're very different and interesting"-stare. Kind of the way you're looking at animals you find interesting. Okay, she will definitely ask me about the runes sooner or later. I really should come up with a story for that.

After English, my day was over and I walked home. Yes walked. The school is really close to Cirenworth. I told Tessa and Jem about my day and when I mentioned Shakespeare; Tessa jumped up and ran up the stairs, only to come back a few minutes with really old editions of his books. She told me, that Will, her late husband from the 19th century, bought them for her on her 21st birthday. Both she and Will and their children read them, maybe their daughter and son in law, too. Afterwards they stayed in Cirenworth, which was her daughter-in-law’s home, until today. There are even notes from all the people who read them in there. Tessa even allowed me to bring them to school for our next English class. Also they wanted me to invite Sam and Leo over because "you need some friends". I promised I would ask them. Mina was also very interested in the old books, and even though she can't read, she flipped through the pages very carefully and looked quite pleased. It was sooo cute.

I wish you could meet Mina. I just know you would love her. She's so interested in the little things that easily get overlooked, just like you. Speaking of you, I wasn't as sad about us today. In fact I was the happiest I've been in a long time. I still think about you almost every time something happened, but it doesn't hurt that much anymore. Maybe I'm starting to heal. Maybe one day I can meet you again without breaking into pieces. (Did you understand that expression? It's what it feels like when you see something that triggers your sadness and it gets so overwhelming that you literally feel the same pain as if you were breaking into pieces.) And look at that. I just noticed it but I even write as if you'd actually read those diary entries. But you won't. At least not now. But I always hope that someday we will see each other again. And that we maybe can understand why we did the stuff we did and forgive each other. Even if it will take a long time, today was the first time I actually believed in it. That maybe, just maybe, you completely misunderstood me and actually love me as much as I love you. (Okay. Stop it Kit! You're simping again... you gotta let a man dream though.)

For real though, I love you still, and I always will

Always yours,

Kit

Happy December 12th, everyone!

#shadowhunters #cassandra clare #the dark artifices #the shadowhunter chronicles #the wicked powers #christopher herondale #christopher jonathan herondale #tsc #kit herondale #kit x ty #kit's diary #ty x kit #tiberius blackthorn #ty blackthorn #ty herondale #tiberius nero blackthorn #kitty advent calendar #advent calendar

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palettesofrenaissance · 2 years

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I had thoughts about a gorgeous painting and I unintentionally ranted about women and the shit we get put through

I was looking at a piece of artwork with a figure whose back is facing the viewer, and I thought how we, worldwide, could automatically and immediately recognize it as a woman because of her dress

And then what came to mind was how women have been the subject of paintings and other artwork for decades and decades and centuries and centuries. We are so admired and loved at being muses and subjects of art... And yet we have been erased from history since who-knows-how-long

There's a quote from someone I unfortunately can't remember that went like, "Throughout history, [the author named] "Anonymous" was a woman." And that quote still shakes me. Women, collectively, have experienced the longest running form of oppression: Misogyny. And yet we still struggle with having class consciousness and solidary. One of the earliest laws was against women speaking, with a brutesque, barbaric contraption to harm the wearer if she tries to speak. There have been countless moments when men across races have been able to band together to go against women. I've witnessed a few

And now as I'm typing this, in the grand concept of time, women have not had bodily autonomy for very long. In the USA, it hasn't been long since a single woman could open up a bank account on her own, or own a credit card on her own, or own land property on her own; we couldn't even get divorced not that long ago in the concept of time. We are credited as being the "pure ones" and even the "great diviners" for literally being able to create human beings, but where is the respect that comes along with it? In relation to that aforementioned quote, I remember doing a short report in high school on an author, Joanne K. Rowling, and learning that only when she chose a writing pin name that was unisex but "sounded male" did she stop receiving so many rejection letters. People don't care for what you have to say if you're a woman

It's harder for women to succeed at anything when it's discouraged to even read anything with a feminine name attached to it. That's happened to many journalists too. I still remember that interview between a misogynistic Middle Eastern man and USA female reporter; she was very respectful of the culture and dressed appropriately, but because she is a woman, he refused on camera to even talk to her. People don't care how hard women work, or even any of their work just because they're women

It's about Beyonce only relatively recently being recognized as the greatest performer ever. It's Maya Angelou getting her recognition only after many years. It's being "forgotten" that Marilyn Monroe created her own production company, among other things, which was unheard of in her time period. It's in Amelia Earhart crash landing and radioing for help, but not receiving any, on purpose. It's in that Twitter thread of fucking comic book writers being mansplained to about characters those women wrote. It's in, the most recently I've seen, in a woman in robotics retelling on TikTok her childhood memories of high school boys sabotaging her robots (pouring a cup full of water on hers) and a fucking news anchor thinking she designed the robot rather than built it

Women have so many biological advantages and greatness, but we're reduced to fashion statements, our bodies types going in and out of style; we're reduced to "a feeling," that if you aren't feminine, then you aren't really a woman, that falseness which excludes the many masculine women throughout history and other women who broke the molds that the ideal of femininity =/= women, and other sexist bullshit

Our pain is entertainment; aka the tv show Law and Order SUV that has countless episodes of femicide and rape. Dehumanizing us is enjoyable; there's fucking porn categories like "rape" and "hate fuck" and brutish, disgusting categories I don't want to think about. We're needed in and only to desired in the home (old vintage ads for example, glorifying this) and for a period of time, we couldn't even represent ourselves on stage (ex: Kabuki theatre). Our harm is no big deal (the thousands of Indigenous and Native American women and girls kidnapped every year). No more murdering daughters for arranged marriages, being given to pieces of shit men, or murdered over a piece of head covering. They want to care about us, but only to the extent of: child birthers, pleasure givers, babysitters, or maids. We have our own category of curse words/slurs directed towards us (and men don't). On average we live longer, can maintain longer stamina, are more flexible, less susceptible to most diseases and illnesses, but we're a goddamn joke in our own species

It's been credited that women created calendars, language, home rearing, some medicine, and several tools and crafts. But we we're so focused on unimportant things

I want a world that's better and which does not reduce girlhood/womanhood to a list of stereotypes. I'd love a world where college girls don't have to protest after being raped or assaulted; a world where laws prohibiting rape, pedophilia, assault, and femicide become mandatory. No more period huts or being deemed unclean for a natural bodily function you can't even fucking control. No pink tax. That cures and solutions are found for treatments that mostly effect women, instead of continuing being "a mystery." The toxic ideas of "welfare queen" and "baby mamas" will die. Getting cat called is recognized and punished as the harassment it is. No more cotton ceilings. Women won't be purposely promoted to heads of companies the previous heads know will fail, solely to make the women look bad. We were close with the last feminist march and the pussy hats, but then that was cleverly villainized and disbanded. I want a world that better for women and girls, but I recognize that it won't be near to a reality for the next 3 to 4 generations, minimum

"Behind every great man is an even greater woman holding shit together."

"Behind every successful man is an even better woman who way he's standing in."

Women are great and amazing, and the only truly negative part about our existence is this crummy world that feeds us lies that we aren't shit. There has got to be female class solidary if there ever plans to be a better future (but also, the men know this, and is why they devise ways to sidetrack us)

#feminism #feminist #female class consciousness #female class solidarity #women's rights #female rights

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425599167 · 2 years

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i gotcha boss, 1, 20, or 2

1. Tell us about your current project(s) – what’s it about, how’s progress, what do you love most about it?

FNB is on hold due to life being terrible, but I do want to get back to it for the expanded cast, particularly some new villains I worked on. I’ve turned my ultimate Glup Shitto into Ahsoka’s creepy antagonistic foil and I want to show him off.

Unfortunately, fanfiction can’t buy food so I have to focus on side work which will make as much money as possible. I must get out of here. I must get free.

2. Tell us about what you’re most looking forward to writing – in your current project, or a future project.

There are many, many moments in FNB I want to get to but I won’t spoil, the most immediate is Round 3 between the Fulcra and the Sith agents, and the aftermath of it.

20. Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)

A Jedi's Duty provided more confirmation of me being right about everything Barriss-related, and also reinforces why Revan is the perfect character to give her further training.

Barriss's key problem is that she's powerless. She knows how much danger she's in, she knows how everything is spiraling, but she can't do anything about it because she starts out a padawan with little combat skill, no authority, and no control over the situation. The short story is all about how she doesn't think she has any choices. Luminara and Tutso Mara are clearly aware she's troubled and ask if she can handle the tasks ahead, but it doesn't matter if they ask because Barriss knows what her duty is and doesn't think she has a real choice. She won't tell anyone she can't do what's being asked of her because that would mean failing her duty as a Jedi, then she gives up what little power she had over her life. Then she started making choices, and they were the worst ones possible. Wow. Those were terrible.

Enter Revan, a character whose most iconic descriptor is "Revan was power." I don't like putting characters into power tiers, and I like quoting Kreia even less, but even I have to point out that she instakilled three Jedi Council members simultaneously. That’s one hell of a benchmark. Aside from being practically unstoppable, Revan is an RPG player character, they're all about choices. I think of the dialogue choices in KotOR as not just options the player sees, but options Revan is considering. Even if Revan is played 100% light side, they're not a perfect angel who could never conceive of taking the dark path, every disturbing option crossed Revan's mind before they chose otherwise.

Jedi teaching exalts restraint, and despite Sith encouraging ambition, masters always work to keep apprentices weak for as long as possible to be controlled and exploited. By contrast, Revan is very much trying to make Barriss as strong as possible, as fast as possible, no strings attached with the philosophical discussions focusing on making smarter strategic decisions and thinking outside the box, making choices where none were given. That’s exactly what she needs, not only to protect herself and survive, but to find means of successfully undermining the Empire.

This manifests on Ilum when despite being hopelessly outmatched and with Ahsoka captured, Barriss dictates the terms to the Grand Inquisitor, a character who, as she points out, can’t make any choice except to meet her demands. Another reason I'm happy with Obsolete Products is because it shows Barriss's development as she refuses to be railroaded again.

#my writing

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plethoraworldatlas · 3 days

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President Joe Biden faced immediate backlash Thursday for characterizing pro-Palestinian demonstrations that have erupted on university campuses across the country as lawless and violent, a narrative likely to further alienate the thousands of students who have joined peaceful protests against Israel's U.S.-backed war on Gaza in recent weeks.

In brief, unscheduled remarks delivered from the White House, Biden acknowledged that "peaceful protest is in the best tradition of how Americans respond to consequential issues."

But he then proceeded to cast recent campus demonstrations as abhorrent, using instances of property damage to broadly paint student protesters as out of control—giving a pass to police forces and pro-Israel mobs that have brutally attacked peaceful encampments.

Biden, who has armed Israel's military to the hilt, also conflated trespassing and disruptions of day-to-day campus activities—including classes and graduations—with violence, saying, "None of this is a peaceful protest."

"Dissent must never lead to disorder," the president said, ignoring the long history of disruptive civil rights and anti-war protests in the U.S. "There's the right to protest, but not the right to cause chaos."

Edward Ahmed Mitchell, a civil rights attorney and national deputy director of the Council on American-Islamic Relations (CAIR), said Thursday that "President Biden's claim that 'dissent must never lead to disorder' defies American history, from the Boston Tea Party to the tactics that civil rights activists, Vietnam War protesters, and anti-apartheid activists used to confront injustice."

"And if President Biden is truly concerned about the conflict on college campuses, he should specifically condemn law enforcement and pro-Israel mobs for attacking students, and stop enabling the genocide in Gaza that has triggered the protests," Mitchell added.

Matt Duss, executive vice president of the Center for International Policy and a former foreign policy adviser to Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.), wrote following the president's remarks that "the best speech of Biden's campaign was in June 2020, amid the nationwide protests against the murder of George Floyd."

"He could've given a very similar speech today, if only he thought the same rights and principles applied to Palestinians," Duss added. "In June 2020, Biden criticized violence but also refused to paint the protests with that broad brush. He acknowledged the root causes, the pain driving them. He could've made some effort to do the same today, instead he chose to amplify a right-wing caricature."

Countering suggestions that criticism of Biden could harm his reelection chances against former President Donald Trump, Duss pointed to an old social media post in which he explained: "One of my concerns here is that Biden is undermining his re-election. In addition to being morally and strategically awful, I think his Gaza policy is alienating and demobilizing constituencies he will need."

At the end of his speech, a reporter asked Biden whether the mass demonstrations on college campuses have led him to reconsider his approach to Israel's assault on Gaza, which to date has been unconditionally supportive even in the face of horrific Israeli war crimes.

"No," Biden said in response to the reporter's question.

"Apparently Biden is not swayed by the mass killing of children, international law, or an election as a growing number of Americans are appalled by his policies," Assal Rad, an author and Middle East analyst, wrote in reply to the president.

Justice Democrats called Biden's speech "shameful," writing that "as campuses have unleashed police on students—he blames protesters as the problem and ignores the violence they've faced." "If dissent was crucial to our democracy," the progressive group added, "you would spend more time listening to their demands than lying about their tactics."

Biden's address came hours after Los Angeles police launched a violent attack on pro-Palestinian demonstrators at UCLA, where a pro-Israel mob brutally assaulted student protesters just a day earlier.

In a statement earlier this week, College Democrats of America endorsed the Gaza solidarity protests that have swept the nation and warned Democratic leaders that each day they "fail to stand united for a permanent cease-fire, two-state solution, and recognition of a Palestinian state, more and more youth find themselves disillusioned with the party."

"We condemn those politicians, like MAGA Republicans and many other lawmakers, for smearing all protesters as hateful when, according to reports, the overwhelming majority of protests are peaceful," said the College Democrats.

In a floor speech on Wednesday, Sanders called out his colleagues who "are spending their time attacking the protesters rather than the Netanyahu government, which has caused and has created this horrific situation."

#israel #palestine #us politics #biden administration #joe biden #vote uncommitted #college protests #student protests #university protests #police brutality #democrats

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presence-of-heart · 1 year

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Interview with the Author: "Presence of Heart" - A Journey to Happiness and Personal Growth

As I sat down with the author of "Presence of Heart," a powerful and insightful book on personal growth and self-acceptance, I was immediately struck by their warmth and wisdom. At the age of 75, this experienced therapist is not considering retirement, as they continue to passionately pursue their work with clients and share their journey towards a healthier, happier, and more successful life. In this interview, the author opens up about their inspiration for writing the book, their personal experiences, and their writing process.

Q: Thank you for taking the time to speak with me today. Let's start with the inspiration behind "Presence of Heart." What motivated you to write this book?

Author: Thank you for having me. I decided to write "Presence of Heart" because I wanted to share my journey of overcoming pain and struggles and finding happiness and self-acceptance. As a therapist, I have seen many of my clients go through similar challenges, and I wanted to offer them and others a source of guidance and support. I wanted to share the tools and techniques that have helped me, and my clients live happier, healthier, and more fulfilling lives. I also wanted to emphasize the importance of self-acceptance and self-compassion, as I believe these are crucial for personal growth and well-being.

Q: Your book is deeply personal, as you candidly share your own experiences. How did your journey shape the writing of "Presence of Heart"?

Author: My journey has had a profound impact on the writing of "Presence of Heart." As a therapist, I have always believed in the power of authenticity and vulnerability in the therapeutic process. I wanted to bring that same level of authenticity to my writing. By sharing my struggles, pain, and eventual transformation, I hoped to create a connection with readers and inspire them to take their own journey toward self-acceptance and personal growth. My own experiences have taught me that change is possible, and I wanted to convey that message through my writing.

Q: Your book emphasizes the importance of self-acceptance and self-compassion. Can you speak more about why these themes are so central to your message?

Author: Self-acceptance and self-compassion are at the core of my message because I believe they are fundamental to personal growth and well-being. Many of us struggle with self-doubt, self-criticism, and a constant striving for perfection. This can create immense stress and unhappiness in our lives. Through my journey and my work with clients, I have learned that self-acceptance and self-compassion are essential for building a healthy relationship with ourselves and others. When we accept ourselves as we are, with all our imperfections, and treat ourselves with the same compassion and kindness that we would offer to a loved one, we open ourselves up to healing, growth, and happiness.

Q: Your book covers a wide range of topics related to personal growth, such as understanding emotions, dealing with stress, building healthy relationships, and finding purpose and meaning in life. How did you decide on the specific topics to include in your book?

Author: The topics covered in my book are based on my years of experience as a therapist and the issues that I have seen my clients struggle with the most. I wanted to provide a comprehensive guide to personal growth that addresses various aspects of the human experience. I chose topics that are universal and relevant to anyone seeking to live a happier, healthier, and more fulfilling life. These topics are interconnected and form the foundation for personal growth and self-acceptance. I believe that addressing these areas can lead to positive changes in multiple areas of our lives.

Q: Your writing style in "

Author: My writing style in "Presence of Heart" is conversational and reflective. I wanted to create a sense of intimacy with the reader as if we were sitting down for a heart-to-heart conversation. I share personal anecdotes and stories from my own life, as well as those of my clients, to illustrate the concepts and techniques discussed in the book. I also use a reflective tone, encouraging readers to engage in self-reflection and introspection as they navigate their journey toward personal growth and self-acceptance. I wanted the writing to be accessible, relatable, and actionable, so readers can apply the tools and techniques in their own lives.

Q: Your book is titled "Presence of Heart." Can you elaborate on the significance of this title and what it means to you personally?

Author: The title "Presence of Heart" reflects the essence of my message in the book. It's about being fully present in our hearts, connecting with ourselves and others with authenticity and compassion. It's about cultivating a sense of emotional intelligence, self-awareness, and empathy towards ourselves and others. Personally, "Presence of Heart" means being in touch with my own emotions, being present with my clients without judgment, and approaching life with an open heart. It's about being vulnerable, authentic, and compassionate towards myself and others, and allowing my heart to guide me in my interactions and choices.

Q: You mention in your book that you have personally experienced the pain you have seen in your clients. How has your journey influenced your approach as a therapist and as a writer?

Author: My journey has had a profound impact on my approach as a therapist and as a writer. It has given me a deeper level of empathy and understanding towards the pain and struggles that my clients and readers may be going through. It has also allowed me to draw from my own experiences of overcoming challenges and finding healing and happiness to offer practical guidance and support to others. As a writer, my journey has provided me with the authenticity and vulnerability to share my own stories, making the concepts and techniques in the book more relatable and actionable. It has also reinforced my belief in the power of self-acceptance, self-compassion, and personal growth, as I have lived through the transformative effects of these practices in my own life.

Q: In your book, you mention that you hope readers will see some of their struggles, needs, and wants in the stories you recount. Can you share an example of a story or anecdote from your book that you think readers will relate to?

Author: One story that I think readers may relate to is the experience of a client who struggled with low self-esteem and self-worth. She constantly sought external validation and approval, and her sense of self-worth was dependent on others' opinions of her. Through therapy, she learned to challenge her negative self-talk and beliefs and gradually developed a more positive and compassionate relationship with herself. She learned to recognize her worthiness and stopped seeking validation from others. This shift in mindset allowed her to make healthier choices in her relationships, career, and personal life, and she experienced a significant improvement in her overall well-being and happiness. I believe many readers may resonate with this story, as low self-esteem and seeking external validation are common challenges that many of us face at some point in our lives.

Q: Can you share some of the tools and techniques that you discuss in your book for readers who are interested in improving their own well-being and personal growth?

Author: Absolutely! In "Presence of Heart," I offer practical tools and techniques that readers can apply in their everyday lives to improve their well-being and personal growth. Some of the

tools and techniques discussed in the book include:

Self-Reflection: I emphasize the importance of self-reflection to gain self-awareness and understand our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. This includes practices such as journaling, mindfulness, and meditation, which can help readers become more attuned to their inner experiences and develop a deeper understanding of themselves.

Self-Acceptance: I emphasize the need for self-acceptance, which involves acknowledging and embracing all aspects of ourselves, including our flaws and imperfections. This includes practices such as self-compassion, forgiveness, and letting go of self-judgment, which can help readers cultivate a more positive and compassionate relationship with themselves.

Emotional Intelligence: I discuss the importance of emotional intelligence, which involves the ability to recognize, understand, and manage our emotions, as well as empathize with others. This includes practices such as emotional awareness, emotion regulation, and empathy, which can help readers develop healthier relationships and navigate challenging situations with greater emotional resilience.

Authenticity: I emphasize the value of authenticity, which involves being true to ourselves and expressing our thoughts, feelings, and needs honestly and openly. This includes practices such as self-expression, setting boundaries, and assertiveness, which can help readers cultivate authentic relationships and live in alignment with their true selves.

Positive Mindset: I discuss the power of a positive mindset, which involves cultivating a positive outlook on life, practicing gratitude, and reframing negative thoughts. This includes practices such as positive affirmations, gratitude journaling, and cognitive restructuring, which can help readers shift their mindset towards a more optimistic and empowering perspective.

Goal Setting: I discuss the importance of setting meaningful goals and working towards them with purpose and intention. This includes practices such as goal setting, action planning, and self-motivation, which can help readers achieve personal growth and success in various areas of their lives.

Healthy Coping Strategies: I emphasize the need for healthy coping strategies to deal with stress, challenges, and difficult emotions. This includes practices such as self-care, stress management, and healthy communication, which can help readers develop healthy coping skills and enhance their overall well-being.

These are just a few examples of the tools and techniques discussed in "Presence of Heart." The book provides practical guidance and exercises that readers can implement in their daily lives to improve their emotional well-being, relationships, and overall quality of life.

Q: What do you hope readers will take away from reading "Presence of Heart"?

Author: My ultimate hope is that readers will feel inspired and empowered to take steps towards their personal growth and well-being after reading "Presence of Heart." I want readers to realize that they have the capacity for positive change and that they are worthy of self-acceptance, love, and happiness. I hope that the stories, tools, and techniques shared in the book will resonate with readers and provide them with practical guidance on their journey toward self-discovery, healing, and personal transformation. I want readers to feel encouraged to cultivate the presence of heart in their own lives - to be authentic, compassionate, and connected with themselves and others, and to live a life that is aligned with their values and truest selves.

Q: Finally, what inspired you to write "Presence of Heart" and what was your writing process like?

Author: I was inspired to write "Presence of Heart" because of my passion for helping others and my belief in the power of personal growth and self-acceptance. As an experienced therapist, I have witnessed the transformative effects of these practices in the lives of my clients, as well as in my own life. I wanted to share my insights and experiences with a broader audience to inspire and empower others to live more authentically, compassionate, and fulfilling. #therapy #clinicaltherapy #self-love #love #lovenovel #book #heart #presenceofheart

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sheepisreading · 1 year

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Books I finished in Febuary 2023

The first three I grabbed at the same time at the boostore because I was bored and needed cheering up!

Naked, David Sedaris, 1997

This is an essay collection! I’d previously read Calypso by the same author and loved it. It’s a fun read, not hard to read or get into and doesn’t require too much concentration to read while still being very entertaining. I chose it as my next book for that reason, because I’ve been pretty fucking stressed recently and thought I could read it without spiralling. It worked! I loved it, it was funny and earnest, recounting amusing anecdotes and real learning moments. I love these kinds of essay collections heartfelt but self aware and comedic.

(Also, because I’ll probably never review it since I read it like six years ago: in the same vein I can only recommend Watsky’s essay collection “How to ruin everything”, probably even more than Naked! It’s I think less emotional or about emotions but I honestly loved it, it made me very happy, Watsky is awesome.)

Assembly, Natasha Brown, 2020

Fully picked this one up in the bookshop because the cover is pretty but after reading the blurb I immediately bought it. It’s fiction but clearly inspired by the authors life. The main character muses on her life so far and the decisions she’s made. It says clearly some shit that’s obvious but for some reason still an issue! The author clearly writes about the differences in class and upbringing between rich old money white people (her colleages) and hardworking new money black people (her). It’s about stuff we take for granted and casual racism. Very good ! It packs a punch in only a hundred pages.

Bluets, Maggie Nelson, 2009

Maggie Nelson writes “propositions” meaning short prose-poetry rambling-things about blue. I’m very into blue and gave a school presentation two years ago on the history of blue in art inspired by the vsauce video about it (which is amazing by the way, I rewatch it often), so I’ve been wanting to read it for a while. It’s good! Maggie Nelson writes beautifully about artists who have used the colour in the past (which is good inspiration) and her own relationship with blue, as well as with two people she cares about at the moment of writing. Her writing is absolutely beautiful! There is a lot of mention of romantic and physical longing which I cannot relate to, but that’s an issue I run into often and her way of discussing it remains interesting. It’s a beautiful book and its atmosphere stays with you.

The Nice House on the Lake vol. 1, James Tynion IV, 2021

Okay apparently the author is well known but I’ve never heard of him as I don’t really read comics and read like one graphic novel a year. As I understand it what I read (volume 1) spans the first six issues of the comic (out of 12). I grabbed it while browsing and loved the colours and was intrigued by the premise (having watched and thoroughly enjoyed Glass Onion not long before, I kinda thought it was a hardcore version of that, turns out: way more sci-fi shit in Nice House). I got home after my first day of internship, spent an hour doing jack shit and then picked this book up and read the whole thing straight. It’s amazing, there are fleshed out characters (some of them are queer yay), suspense, tension, emotion, it’s just really good! I will warn for like apocalypse, discussions of suicide and body horror though if that’s a thing you can’t go near! But if you can and are into weird sci-fi horror I recommend it! (I actually kind of like Walter I have to say, he just loves his friends !)

Steppenwolf, Hermann Hesse, 1927

!!! My mum is a big Hermann Hesse fan and always advocated for me reading one of his books. I happened upon this one at the used book market and immediately bought it because I noticed someone had anotated parts of it which. Yeah. Anyways, a bit of a slow start with the introduction written from an outside perspective from the narrator of the remainder of the book but absolutely hang in there! It's absolutely amazing; reflections on selfhood and the way we choose to live or not live our lives, connections with others, finding joy and excitement. It really did exceed my expectations. I thought there would be too much romance talk for my taste but it's so beautifully written that it's not an issue at all. It left a mark on me, that's for sure, it's a really powerful book.

#david sedaris #natasha brown #maggie nelson #james tynion iv #hermann hesse #book community #bookblr #bookish #books #book review #book isnt a word anymore

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fierceautie · 1 year

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Quack exposed: Genesis 2 Church of Health and Healing

In 1996, Jim Humble, a former scientologist, claimed to discover MMS while mining for gold in the jungles of South America. He claimed that it cured malaria (this is not true). After some time, he invited a missionary group to Africa where he experiments with MMs on the locals there. Hex poisoned over 5,000 people there. He also claims he is a G-d from the Andromeda galaxy. "And then I asked to be put in the part of the space navy that watched over the Earth," Humble said. In 2010 Jim Humble and Mark Grenon founded the Genesis II Church of Health and Healing. The both of them are self styled Archbishops of their made up church. They did this so they could distribute MMS more easily. They needed to found a church because the mainstream medical community relies on fact and not anecdotal evidence. He lists MMS as a religious sacrament so it is harder to prosecute. He even said that it has nothing to do with religion. He co-founded the Genesis 2 church to "legalize the use of MMS" and avoid getting caught. Their main idea is that chlorine dioxide can kill pathogens in the body that causes illnesses. They say it should be ingested every day to maintain health. They set up shop in Bradenton, Florida out of their home. It is not an actual church. They say that Genesis 2 is a non religious church that was founded to create a legal structure to protect Jim Humble's teachings. They do not claim to serve G-d. They serve humankind. They do reference Bible quotes throughout the website (not active anymore) They chose the name Genesis 2 to reference a new beginning. This is related to their goal of restoring health and removing humans from the current "world of death" to the "world of living."Thier members and website suggest to help people, they must spread the "knowledge" of MMS. They maintain the belief that "big pharma" has a coverup happening related to MMS. They claim that MMS is safe for everyone. The members carry around a card that says: “This card signifies that this member of the Genesis II Church of Health and Healing has the God-given, unalienable right to control and maintain their personal health. All members are exempt from any means not chosen, including but not limited to: vaccinations, medications, X-rays, scans, implants, mandatory voting, and health insurance mandated by a human government or authority.” Several times a year, G2 held seminars on how to use MMS and a group of people would be certified in bleach in just a short weekend. They also had weekly 1 hour podcasts complaining about how everyone is out the get them. Mark Grenon claims to have been a Boy Scout. Scouts does not teach what he does. Sent a Letter To Trump When He Was In Office May 19, 2020 Dear President Trump and Attorney General Barr, I am writing you both to ask for the immediate arrest of US Attorneys Matthew J. Feeley, Ross S. Goldstein, David A. Frank, and US Judge Kathleen M. Williams for violating with gross negligence and contempt our 1st Amendment rights as a Church to practice our beliefs. The above mention individuals have been complicit in Case 1:20-cv-21601 by allowing the FDA and FTC to categorize our Church Sacraments as a ‘drug’ and thereof having power to regulate and or approve. Not only is this offense to us and ALL religions but a Church Sacrament does not need to be approved by the FDA or FTC to be practiced. According to the 1st Amendment there can be ‘no law’ that prohibits us never mind a code. Here is the code which the FDA is using as the basis for the case against us the Genesis II Church and 4 of its members. The FDA is using Federal Food, Drug, and Cosmetic Act (“FDCA”), 21 U.S.C. § 332(a), alleging that Defendants directly or indirectly: A. Violate 21 U.S.C. § 331(d), by introducing or delivering for introduction into interstate commerce new drugs, as defined in 21 U.S.C. § 321(p), that are neither approved pursuant to 21 U.S.C. § 355 nor exempt from approval; The FDA goes on to build this ‘case’ against us by adding: 1. MMS is a “drug” as defined by 21 U.S.C. § 321(g). Defendants have posted content on their websites claiming that MMS is intended for curing, mitigating, treating, or preventing COVID19, Alzheimer’s, autism, brain cancer, HIV / AIDS, and multiple sclerosis. (DE 3-1 at Exs. 3-12, 14-16, 18-20.) 2. MMS is a “new drug” as defined in 21 U.S.C. § 321 (p)(1) and (p)(2). We as a Church are having our rights violated and need relief immediately from this unlawful attack against our Church and the 1st Amendment. DEPRIVATION OF RIGHTS UNDER COLOR OF LAW SUMMARY: Section 242 of Title 18 makes it a crime for a person acting under color of any law to willfully deprive a person of a right or privilege protected by the Constitution or laws of the United States. Please consider this petition for the arrest of the perpetrators of this case or the immediate dismissal of this unlawful case. Sincerely, Archbishop Mark S. Grenon Co-founder of the Genesis II Church When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice: but when the wicked beareth rule, the people mourn.”, Proverbs 29:2 In the News In 2009 an American woman had taken MMS to prevent malaria on a cruise. The authorities found that the cause of death was undetermined so this fueled G2 to claim no one ever died from MMS. She died hours after taking this dangerous substance. https://www.nbcnews.com/tech/internet/moms-go-undercover-fight-fake-autism-cures-private-facebook-groups-n1007871 In 2019, NBC ran an article about mothers in the United States and the UK. fighting MMS being used on autistic children and vulnerable adults. It features G2 and their role in the poisoning of children. This article was the 2nd most read online article by NBC in 2019. This article raised a lot of awareness around this issue. It even warranted a Dr. Oz appearance: The FDA issued a warning in August of 2019, but did not take any other action. This only effected disabled kids after all. COVID 19 The the global pandemic happened. Since G2 says MMS is the miracle cure for everything, they simply could not help themselves! They claimed that MMS cured and prevented COVID 19. This caught the FDA's attention. When it affected able bodied adults, they suddenly cared. The FDA sent G2 a warning letter: https://www.fda.gov/inspections-compliance-enforcement-and-criminal-investigations/warning-letters/genesis-2-church-606459-04082020

Restraining Order Against the Manufacture and Distribution of MMS by G2

It finally happened. Yesterday the Genesis 2 Church had court at the Federal Courthouse in Miami. Miami is only 50 miles from where I live in South Florida. I took a drive with another member of my organization to see this happen. Unfortunately, it was a closed hearing. We knew this was a possibility. It was an emergency hearing to determine if the temporary injunction on the sale and promotion of MMS would become permanent. On May 1, 2020, it was released that there was a preliminary injunction placed on Genesis 2 Church: “‘Genesis 2 Church now has been banned from selling, promoting, signposting, distributing MMS Chlorine Diixide bleach! They cannot: ‘label, hold, and/or distribute any drug, including but not limited to MMS, that does not have an approved new drug application pursuant to 21.’1. The United States’ motion for a preliminary injunction (DE 3) is GRANTED.2. Upon entry of this Order, Defendants and each and all of their directors, officers, agents, representatives, employees, successors, assigns, attorneys, and any and all persons in active concert or participation with any of them (hereinafter, “Associated Persons”) who receive actual notice of this Order, shall not, during the pendency of this action, directly or indirectly, label, hold, and/or distribute any drug, including but not limited to MMS, that does not have an approved new drug application pursuant to 21 U.S.C. § 355(b) or abbreviated new drug application pursuant to 21 U.S.C. § 355(j), or an investigational new drug application in effect for its use pursuant to 21 U.S.C. § 355(i), or any drug that is misbranded within the meaning of 21 U.S.C. § 352.3. Upon entry of this Order, Defendants and Associated Persons, shall not, directly or indirectly, violate 21 U.S.C. § 331(k) by causing any drug, including but not limited to MMS, to become misbranded within the meaning of 21 U.S.C. § 352(a) and/or (f)(1) after shipment of one or more of its components in interstate commerce.4. Upon entry of this Order, Defendants and Associated Persons shall immediately refrain from disposing of or transferring any assets that may interfere with implementation of payment of restitution to consumers who purchased Defendants’ drugs, should the Court ultimately order such restitution payments in its final judgment in this matter.5. Upon entry of this Order, Defendants and Associated Persons are prohibited from destroying, discarding, altering, transferring or otherwise making unavailable any document or record in electronic format or otherwise within their custody or control that are related to (a) MMS; (b) misbranded drugs; and/or (c) unapproved new drugs.6. Representatives of FDA shall be permitted, without prior notice and as and when FDA deems necessary, to inspect Defendants’ places of business and take any other measures necessary to monitor and ensure continuing compliance with the terms of this Order. During such inspections, FDA representatives shall be permitted to: have immediate access to buildings, including but not limited to 2014 Garden Ln, Bradenton, FL 34205-5274 (the “Facility”), equipment, raw ingredients, in-process materials, finished products, containers, packaging material, labeling, and other promotional material therein; take photographs and make video recordings; take samples of Defendants’ in-process or unfinished and finished products, containers, packaging material, labeling, and other promotional material; and examine and copy all records relating to the labeling, holding, and distribution of any and all drugs and their components. The inspections shall be permitted upon presentation of a copy of this Order and appropriate credentials. The inspection authority granted by this Order is separate and apart from, and in addition to, the authority to make inspections under the FDCA, 21 U.S.C. § 374.7. Defendants shall bear the cost of any inspections, analytical work, and supervisory activities that FDA deems necessary to evaluate Defendants’ compliance with any of the terms of this Order.8. Defendants shall post a copy of this Order in a common area at the Facility and at any other location at which Defendants conduct business and shall ensure that the Order remains posted for as long as the Order remains in effect.9. IT IS FURTHER ORDERED that the United States shall promptly provide notice of this action and this Order to Defendants by attempting service at last known email addresses and physical addresses. Pursuant Rule 65(c) of the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure, United States of America shall not be required to post security for the instant action. DONE AND ORDERED in chambers in Miami, Florida, this 1st day of May, 2020.'” Not only did MMS get banned, but the Genesis 2 Church is being held in Contempt of Court for violating the temporary injuction ! “ORDERTHIS MATTER is before the Court on the United States’ motion for an order to show cause why Defendants should not be held in contempt (DE 23). The Court determines that a hearing is required to consider the issues raised in Plaintiff’s motion.” Congratulations to everyone involved. WE DID IT! Reminders why MMS is dangerous:

Parents are poisoning their children with bleach … – NBC Newswww.nbcnews.com › tech › internet › moms-go-underc…

After ignored temporary injunctions and court appearances, the FDA raided the Grenon's residence. There were Federal charges filed against Mark Grenon and his 3 adult sons. After a search warrant was executed, they recovered: 50 gallons of muriatic acid 22 gallons of miracle mineral solution 8,300 pounds of sodium chlorite. Two of the Grenon sons were arrested and the other two were hiding in El Rodadero, Magdalena, Columbia. Mark Grenon's Reaction after the raid:

Not long after this, Grenon and his other son were arrested in Columbia. All the people involved are currently in jail under marshall hold. They are currently still awaiting a court date in jail. I plan on being at court since I only live 2 hours away from the court house! Indicted in Miami! Yesterday, April 23, 2021 Mark, Jonathon, Jordan and Joseph Grenon were indicted in the south district of Florida Federal court. It was for marketing and selling a fake cure for COVID 19. They did not act on it when autistic kids were being poisoned but hey, its something. "According to the indictment, the Grenons, all of Bradenton, Florida, manufactured, promoted, and sold a product they named Miracle Mineral Solution (“MMS”). MMS is a chemical solution containing sodium chlorite and water which, when ingested orally, became chlorine dioxide, a powerful bleach typically used for industrial water treatment or bleaching textiles, pulp, and paper. The Grenons claimed that ingesting MMS could treat, prevent, and cure COVID-19, according to the charges. The FDA, however, had not approved MMS for treatment of COVID-19, or for any other use. Rather, in prior official warning statements, the FDA had strongly urged consumers not to purchase or use MMS for any reason, explaining that drinking MMS was the same as drinking bleach and could cause dangerous side effects, including severe vomiting, diarrhea, and life-threatening low blood pressure. See https://www.fda.gov/consumers/consumer-updates/danger-dont-drink-miracle-mineral-solution-or-similar-products. In fact, FDA received reports of people requiring hospitalizations, developing life-threatening conditions, and even dying after drinking MMS." "The indictment further alleges that before marketing MMS as a cure for COVID-19, the Grenons marketed MMS as a miracle cure-all for dozens of other serious diseases and disorders, even though the FDA had not approved MMS for any use. The Grenons sold tens of thousands of bottles of MMS nationwide, including to consumers throughout South Florida, according to the allegations. They sold this dangerous product under the guise of Genesis II Church of Health and Healing (“Genesis”), an entity they are accused of creating to avoid government regulation of MMS and shield themselves from prosecution. According to charging documents, Genesis’ own websites describe Genesis as a “non-religious church,” and Defendant Mark Grenon, the co-founder of Genesis, has repeatedly acknowledged that Genesis “has nothing to do with religion,” and that he founded Genesis to “legalize the use of MMS” and avoid “going to jail.” The Genesis websites further stated that MMS could be acquired only through a “donation” to Genesis, but the donation amounts for MMS orders were set at specific dollar amounts, and were mandatory, such that the donation amounts were effectively just sales prices. The indictment alleges that the Grenons received more than $1 million from selling MMS." They are also being charged with criminal contempt. So not only are they being brought up on civil charges, they are being brought up on criminal charges. Monday, April 26 2021 is arraignment in Miami and I plan on being there. I will update more then. Arraignment in April 26, 2021 On this day I drove down to Miami to exercise my rights under the Sunshine Law. I wanted to watch it with my own eyes and wanted him to see my face. Nothing more, nothing less. ANYWAY. I was not allowed in due to COVID restrictions, which was fine. I didn't fight it. Read the full article

#ableism #actuallyautistic #autism #bleach #bleacher #chlorinedioxide #industrialbleach #MMS #nocureforme #quackery

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