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lovesickry · 6 days

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- (e)x marks the spot ⁴

┈⋆⭒ lando norris x reader [2.5k]

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ ⎯ synopsis: basically what the title says, Martin garrix feature, random other character also featured. .𖥔 ݁ ˖ ⎯ contains: 18+, toxicity, minors dni, unedited. .𖥔 ݁ ˖ ⎯ a/n: um based on an audio I heard the other day

lando didnt get angry, lando got distant. the week you broke up, you think you spoke a grand total of 3 times. one being the time in which you broke up. it was mutual, but god sometimes you think you missed him far too much.

it had been a painful and monotonous few months of swiping through countless dating apps. losing count of how many of the dates had been just as mediocre and forgettable as the last. today, you hoped would be different, his name was Liam. he had rescheduled the initial date and now invited you to a gig at a club in London. he picked you up at 8 , he was nice, less talkative than you but funny enough. arriving at the club was chaotic, the line was around the block and your mouth dropped when you realised Liam was walking straight past it, to the guy on the door.

"should be on the list, under Martin" he said, before the guy waves him through.

you follow him in, his hand leading yours swiftly through the crowds of people, purple light obscuring your vision. the first drink hits you much too slow as you look next to him and smile at a joke you can't remember him telling. the music seems to have a kind of buzzing effect on the air particles which surround you and mixed with the alcohol its intoxicating. Liam's hand is on your back as he guides you further into the sweaty pit of dancers, near the DJ booth. your mind is fuzzy and Liam's hands are all over you, focusing on the small of your back uncovered by your top. you close your eyes for a amount and wait for the beat to drop as the bass seems to shake the floor. opening your eyes, your met with the figure of Liam now approaching the DJ booth and you follow him like a lost dog, not wanting to get lost in the crowd. hes leaning over the swarms of people towards the sweaty man in the middle wearing a cap and he ushers you forward.

"Martin this is y/n" he turns around and immediately you know you're fucked.

of course it was him, someone you already knew, that's great.

you'd met Martin Garrix on a number of occasions in Monaco when still with lando, never alone though, you wonder if he recognised you.

he shakes your hand as if strangers, though with a kind of smirk that unsettled the sediment in your stomach.

"lando should be round here somewhere" he responds, answering the unasked question.

"thanks" you answer curtly.

once it has been an acceptable amount of time between introductions you whip your head around in the hopes for Liam to lead you out of this maze but he is nowhere to be seen and there is another face in the crowd who seems to have just spotted you. your eyes widen, your sober enough to know your heart should not be beating this fast. you frantically look around for a sign of your date and spot him 2 bodies away, you squeeze your way to him and begin in the best possible fashion to try and repel lando. you knew if he came up to you, you'd regret anything you did. you always did with lando. Liam must have not got the message you were trying so desperately to send him, because the next word coming out of his mouth made your breath halt.

"Oi! Lando! mate!" he shouts with a wave and smiles over to the man in a button down shirt.

you see his head perk up and look around before he spots an eager looking Liam, next to a blank faced you. fuck, this was it now wasn't it? christ.

" 'm just gonna go get a drink " you hurriedly tell Liam.

"alright" he dismissed.

you leave just as lando reaches him and shakes his hand harshly before pulling him into a hug, do they actually know each other? you quickly whip your head forward as you navigate your way to the bar. you respect the irony, that you're reaching for the item that was most likely to make the bad decisions, in the hopes you would not make them, but that piece of information seemed to slip your mind.

you arrived at the bar, in a heightened state, visually tense and anxious as you ordered a vodka lime and soda, and then another one, putting them all on Liam's opened tab.

you stand against the bar and wonder if this was all a kind of karmic punishment for something, as Lando and Liam make their way directly towards you.

"fuck me" you mutter under your breath before they both step into your view.

"hmm 'm need a drink too" Liam slurred out.

"also... this is lando" he explains, gesturing to the figure next to him whom eyes seemed much too dark to be purely thoughtless.

you're frozen, why does that happen.

"we know each other" he interrupts before you can get anything out, looking you up and down with a small smile.

"oh great" he says, obvlious to lando's innuendo while he orders his drink

lando is already standing dangerously close to you and you dont have the energy or will to tell him to stand back. you missed him, as much as you were afraid to admit it, his touch was soothing to your stiff, aching body.

"havin' fun?" he questions in your ear, lip brushing the cartilage.

shivers run down your spine as you think of a witty response and come up blank.

Liam is metres away against a beam chatting with another random guy as lando moves to face you.

"missed you"

"lando, dont"

"oh come on" "you're saying you didnt need saving from whatever the hell that was, think he liked me more than you, and I dont even have a pair of tits"

god he was so vulgar, you hated it.

"Liams nice" you say, not knowing if your convincing yourself or lando of this statement.

"sure he is" he says, gesturing to where Liam now was leant against a wall while a blonde girl seemed to be very interested in him.

theres nothing to say, not anything you can think of, theres too much history and you want to say too much, but your mind is swimming and the alcohol is blurring everything you want to say into an uncontrollable lust for his touch.

he's sincere when he grazes his fingers over his arm and brings you closer to him.

"let me make it up to you" he whispers to you, before bringing his drink to his mouth before offering it you.

your heart and stomach squeeze at the prospect, body all but keening into him, your hand reflexively gripping his arm, which is now tense under you touch, his muscles taut and hard.

"missed you so much" he says, again, whispering and then taking a sip of his drink. you're not sure how much he means it, but you're not sure how much you mean what you're saying either.

"we broke up for a reason" you say, trying so desperately to be the voice of reason between the 2.

"did we?" he says.

that seals it, just this once, you acknowledge that he doesnt treat you right but he never said he would, at least you know his feelings are real, you think, he'd always been the obsessive type.

"ye-" you try and get out, but its useless, your body has made your decision for you and it wants needs lando.

"no" he interrupts.

your eyes meet his and his gaze is hard, fixed on you. not threatening but possessive as his lips get closer to yours.

the kiss is blurred with animosity and tenderness as he holds you so tightly you might fall through him.

"my place is like 5 minutes away" he says, pulling away, out of breath.

"thought we were gonna fuck on the floor?" you say, hoping to break the stiff tension surrounding you both.

"you wish" he remarks, reaching for his phone.

the short drive is torture as Lando teases your inner thighs. Liam long forgotten as he whispers vulgar, horrible things in your ear while his hands stroke the soft sensitive skin.

when you arrive at his apartment there is no longer any control between the two of you, lando swings his door open, nearly launching it off its hinges as you both collide in an ugly gnashing of teeth fighting for any type of control over the other. you palm his boxers and his tongue stutters for a moment causing you to gain the upper hand while your other hand moves between his tangled curls. the kiss is bruising and leaves you out of breath as his mouth leaves yours and moves to your neck.

"mine? yeah?" he says to you before gently biting on your collarbone and leaving what feels like a large hickie to find tomorrow morning.

"yeah" you breath out, embarrassingly high pitched.

he laughs into your skin, while his mouth worships your collarbones, his hands begin untying your top and dragging the thin fabric down. you whine as his lips leave your skin and his eyes darken at the sight.

"fuck your tits are perfect" "almost forgot"

the praise runs swiftly and hotly to your core as his hands immediately rise to knead your breasts and his mouth begins fervently kissing them. you're so wet christ its embarrassing , your rubbing your legs together and silently begging lando to pay youre core any semblance of attention.

"want something?" he teases, obviously noticing the squirming.

"want you so bad" you say, unbuttoning his already low shirt.

"knew you did baby" he says, smiling and ridding himself of his shirt now simply unbuttoned and thrown to the floor.

"shut up" you say, rolling your eyes.

"says the girl begging for my dick" he retorts, hands fiddling with the button of your skirt as he pushes against you to lie down on the bed. he opens your legs and licks his lips.

"yeah youre definitely not this wet for Luis" he says, purposefully getting his name wrong

"Liam" you say, still stubbornly keeping a thread of dignity.

"Liam" he says with a crude laugh, before lightly licking up your slit causing you to shiver.

"wet for me. huh baby?" he repeats

"yeah" you say, high pitched and breathless as lando introduces a finger to your throbbing cunt.

"what's my name?"

"lando" you say, praising him.

"good" he says, before diving back into you.

he's scarily good with his mouth and your legs are shaking before you even have time to think of the repercussions of this decision.

"he didnt do that, did he?" his face flushed and wet from your cunt. "gonna tell me how good I am"

"you're chatty tonight" you breath out, lando had always been a talker, never been able to shut his mouth for too long at a time.

"you fuckin' love it" he hums while undoing his trousers, your staring at him through your eyelashes and he pretends to not notice, not to care. he returns to you, hard and hot and ready.

“you gonna be good for me baby?” he taunts.

you just look at him, unable to give him any satisfaction by responding.

"do you want me to be good?" you ask, breathlessly.

"no" he says, hands planted on your thighs.

"look at me baby" he says

you mindlessly reply as he slowly pushes himself inside of you.

"fucking hell" "missed you" "shit"

god you hated when he was right, when you fit together so well, when he felt this good. your bodies moulded together, warm bodies, your hands clutching at his back as he slowly draws himself in and out, prying a reaction out of you. lando puts his head down and begins kissing up your neck once again, biting and nipping whenever he saw fit, slowly building his rhythm.

"smell so good baby" "did I get you that perfume?" he asks, suddenly voice clear as he stopped his movement inside of you, your cunt still squeezing him. you're suddenly mentally conscious to answer his question.

"yes" you whisper, still remembering the day he had bought it for you, the smile plastered on your face when he gave you the small wrapped package tied with some string.

he does not respond but resumes his actions harsher than before filled with a boiling rage at the idea of you wearing his perfume for someone else. your jaw is slack, eyes fluttering and your stomach is tightening at his continues hard thrusts.

"aw getting tired, getting close?" he taunts, tongue flicking out to touch your ear.

suddenly he interrupted the equilibrium of the warmth that encompassed both of you, the sweat, the heat, the salt that seemed to hover in the air. rolling off of you and then lifting you on top of him. now looking down at him he looked absolutely fucking sinful, perfectly perfect, you could feel your eyes droop and your face blush at the sight as he lifted you slightly and began to lower you down.

"fuck-fuck" you mutter through your staggered moans and whimpers.

"so pretty baby" he says, eyes boring into you as a glaze covered your eyes.

he sensed your exhaustion, your need for release and decides to be nice.

"c'mon let me do it" he mutters, bringing you down so your chest is against his and he can do all the work for you.

"put your head in my shoulder baby" he says as you adjust your face so it settles in the crane of his neck, deeply inhaling his scent before you take time to leave a little gift of your own for the next day.

"ill do it, ill make it better" he promises as he grabs your hips with a bruising grip and begins pushing you up and down onto him.

"I got you" he reassures, your breath getting more and more fractured with each movement inside you.

"aw baby" he whispers, youre so close, right on the fucking edge, and then he stops, he grows still, he releases your hips and he stops.

"only me yeah?" he asks, tilting his mouth towards your head nestled in his neck. "nobody else" he continued.

you'd say anything if he'd just keep going, but you'd be lying if you said this wasn't the truth.

"just you" you mutter "only you" "fuck" you gasp finally as he begins moving again.

and youre right there again, just hanging on, your eyes squeeze shut, your stomach squeezes and your hand seems to claw at any available skin. meanwhile lando's breath is becoming far more erratic, his grunts much more aggressive as he pounds relentlessly into your soaking cunt.

"I love you" he finally says, before surrendering. "I love you" you respond before joining him

you'd think it was heaven the way you came together, beautifully and slow, breaths matching the other as he kissed every inch of skin available to him and you wrapped your arms around his warm body.

maybe tomorrow you'd regret it, maybe tomorrow you'd hate him, but right now, he was yours. you loved him.

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dognonsense · 2 months

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Question...how do you make your patches? They seem so fuckin cool. I'm working on a vest and a jacket atm, and I'd like for them to be done by the time a pride fest rolls around next month.

Main technique I use for making patches nowadays is linocut. Its best suited for mass production of patches.

Make sure to remember your carving the mirror image so you have to flip all the text. Using tracing paper to flip the design is a good trick, as well as leaving graphite marks on side, then pressing that to the lino to leave the marks in the same spot. Another trick with pencil is to view what ur carving in negative space quickly, put a paper over your design and shade over it with pencil, darker marks will be where you haven't carved yet.

I use speedball fabric ink, it takes 1 week to set then will be fine to be washed. I have magenta, violet, turqouise, and white. They have a limited range of fabric colors at the store. I have seen gold and silver fabric paint for sale and I will investigate it one day.

I use a speedball roller, i find the smaller one to be better than the big one as I can be more precise and waste less ink.

I got a fancy handle for $40 but the screws fallen out so its broken now so just get some heavy books. I used to use a mug. Whats important is pushing your whole body weight into it.

I got a speedball carving tool with different heads I can swap out so I can cut into the lino at different deepness and widths. The heads are stored inside the tool since its hollow and has a screwable removable bottom. I use linocut or dollar store erasers for my carvings. Make sure to wash the ink off your linocuts after your done using them.

A thing to increase the lifespan of you're linocuts is to use wood glue, some cork or wood pieces, and glued the lino stamps onto them. I dont do that yet so my stamps fall appart from overuse sometime and because I cut way too deep into the lino since I hate chatter.

Chatter is the term for in linocutting when theres little messy lines and stuff. It makes the art more recognisably to be linocut. My work is very clean with no chatter which is why people don't notice its linocut usually. This is a stylistic choice, with diy styles having a lot of chatter can look really cool so experiment with leaving bits of extra uncarvered lino sticking out in ur stamp. I need to experiment and buy some more lino.

You can also use multiple linocut stamps together to make a patch. Some patches ive made have like 8 different stamps. Ive made a dog nonsense patch where each letter was their own eraser stamp. You can also use different colors between the different lino stamps on the same patch to add more color. An effect I like to do is first stamp it in color, then the next day I stamp it in white over the same spot but shifted to the right and down slightly. It makes the text have a cool border 3D effect I love doing.

If making a more detailed picture with colors, i reccomend hand painting patches. I use white fabric paint mixed with acrylics for color to get all the shades i need. Acrylic paint mixed with fabric softener works too.

If doing words and you dont want a unique font reccomend using letter stamps. If you want a unique font for that i recommend hand paint for individual or linocut for mass produce.

The positive of letter stamps is the font is neat and can be done quickly. I know from lending them to my roommate that they are very helpful if you have dyslexia and have trouble getting letters right.

A visual effect of the letter stamps is that have a nice boxy edge effect, its an imperfection that adds a personally touch to it. I have both lower and upper case stamps that I got from michaels. You can use a hair band or elastic to hold a bunch of letter stamps together to make a word stamp.

You can use other stamps than letters that you find at craft stores for example my racoon print is a craftstore stamp.

You can also find big plastic letter stencils at the dollar store that you can use to do lettering by filling in gaps with a sponge or or paintbrush. They make special paintbrushes just for using stencils.

You can also get plastic stencils in the shapes of things, i got some for children and use a horse stencil for my horse smoking weed patch. Easier than drawing a horse myself.

Another technique I use for more unique clean patches is gel plating. I haven't tried printing laserprint images with it as ive seen online a lot but I will try one day. What i personally do is use it to make imprints with chains and physical objects.

Another thing i use with gelplates are any stamps or linocuts that dont have words, or words ones that i fucked up with and forgot to mirror when carving. It flips mirror image twice with the gel plate so it goes back to being right again on the patch.

Another patch making technique is using foamboard cut into shapes glued onto cardboard. This is good for a quick test of a design and is very cheap to make. It will not hold under water so is more difficult to clean.

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pickingupmymercedes · 2 months

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Under an Ipê tree - Lewis Hamilton

The three times your annual visit to Senna’s tomb brought something different

pairing: Lewis Hamilton x Senna! Reader

warnings: mentions of death, mourning, AD 21', Lewis at Ferrari (rubbing salt into every open wound apparently)

wordcount: +1k

a/n: Not gonna lie, started this one with something in mind and it took a life of its own. I know Senna! Reader isn't everyone's cup of tea, so please, proceed with caution, because there is mention to real events and real emotions envolved with mourning. Also, AD 21', I'm sure as hell not over that, so here's another trigger warning.

a/n. 2: Those trees are how pink Ipês look in blossom, I know Brasil is not known for its colder months but those beauties come alive after the few cold weeks.

_______________________________________

Like most traditions it started without any intent on actually becoming a thing. You and Lewis would take a couple hours off on Wednesdays before the Brazilian GP every year, the destination a known one to everyone in the paddock. It was a journey you used to do by yourself until Lewis had been the brave, and first one, to ask you if he could tag along. He’d been to Senna’s tomb before, you knew that much, but the respect and adoration he held for your late father had you deciding he should be good company.

_______________________________________

“I swear I had never seen my mom angrier. Can you imagine her with the speaker at Interlagos shouting to everyone with an ear that I shouldn’t be racing and if anything happened Ayrton was to blame cause I wasn’t even old enough to be there” You told a laughing Lewis while remembering when your father faked an ID so he could sneak you to the track and teach you how to race in your brand new - Mclaren themed – kart. A Christmas gift he went out of his way to get to the famous Brazilian track circuit in time to open day.

“You know, my favorites snippets of his life are the ones you talk about, Sundays at the pool, ice cream dates, kart running without your mom knowing. Whenever someone talks about him it’s always about his wins, his hardships, his cars and battles … it’s almost as if he didn’t exist beyond formula 1, like we froze just a fraction of him and forgot all about the rest.”

You smiled at him, you liked how Lewis never questioned your feelings towards f1’s out of this world idolatry on your father, mainly because at the end of the day, to your 8 year old past self, Ayrton was first and foremost “pai”, the dude that thought you not to be afraid by throwing you into the ocean when no one was looking, the one that cooked instant noodles for dinner in spite of your mom’s pleads, the one that constantly tried to show you that love is a feeling we should act upon in the present and never wait for a so promised tomorrow.

“He would’ve liked you I think… would’ve hated to race you, for sure. But as a person, he would have probably seen you as one of the good ones, pointing out bullshit, fighting fia every chance you get, protecting the guys back at the garage, focusing on racing and not talking, looking out for everyone.” You answered truthly, as he respectfully held his hands behind his back looking at the tomb stone, while you casually sat in the edge of the stone, almost too comfortable around the place from all the visits you’ve done over the years.

“I think you should meet Galisteu someday, she’ll have way more interesting stories about him to tell you than I do.” You absentmindedly noted, remembering all she’s told you about your father, this other side to him you never got the time to see.

“Nah… we’re our truest around kids, his best version was the one you got to see. Now, what was that time he sneaked a stray dog onto your apartment?” he asked while reaching for your shoulder so you both could walk along the path back to the car awaiting to take you both back.

_______________________________________

“I don’t think I really remember the sound of his voice” you sighed looking up at the Ipê tree just beside the tomb. You had shown Lewis a photo of what it looked like once in full blossom before, in the Brazilian winter, and he promised you he would eventually find the time to come see it in its full glory in late June.

The walk in the cemetery, the light hearted banter, him opening his heart on dreams and the future and the confessions you would eventually make to Lewis about Ayrton were part of the annual occurrence you had both unspokenly agreed on, but that one line seemed to have hit him hard enough he just motioned you to go on, no answers or remarks.

“I mean, I know what his voice sounds like because there’s a thousand and one interviews with him, but I don’t think I can truly remember what he sounded like in real life … how he talked to me.” You explained it further, now looking at the Briton.

He engulfed you in a hug, the kind only he knew how, your tears leaving marks on his shoulders. You would rarely cry over anything related to your father, at least not in front of people anyway, but Lewis was… well, Lewis. You and Niki were the one who pushed, like hell, to sign him to Mercedes back in 2014 against everyone’s better judgment, and while you knew he would be every bit the driver and phenomenon he was, neither of you anticipated the friendship that came out of seeing him almost every GP you attended. A relationship that had crept its own way into your hearts, slowly allowing to see each other as something more than just good friends.

“He’s proud of you, wherever he is. I know that much” He whispered, leaving a soft kiss to your temple and bringing you even closer to his body.

_______________________________________

“He would’ve crashed into Verstappen back in 2021, wouldn’t he?” He prompted out of nowhere, gazing seriously at the tomb as you observed him pondering over the possible outcomes of a race that, like a ghost, had been following him nonstop, specially with the São Paulo GP fast approaching and with it his chances of securing his 8th title, two races before the end of the season.

“Start another Senna vs. Prost ?! ” You thought out loud, trying to read into his expressions and mannerisms, a talent of his you weren’t quite as good.

“Maybe I should’ve done it”

“You’re not like that Lew. You’re you and no one, not a single person, wants someone else” Your exasperation clear in your voice, hands reaching for his chin as his eyes locked into yours and he nodded, an unspoken agreement between the two of you, one you had to hammer into his head from time to time, that he may have Ayrton as his idol but he was just as much of an icon to the sport, and to a million of kids out there.

“On Sunday you’re going to reach that top step in your red suit, fulfill Ayrton’s dream and claim a championship for Ferrari. You. Not him, nor anyone else” and come the end of the race, he did just that. Smiling down at the sea of people in a mix of old Mercedes merchs and new Ferrari ones, dedicating his trophy to all the other people who believed in the impossible with him.

#lewis hamilton x reader #lewis hamilton x you #lewis hamilton #lewis hamilton imagine #f1 x reader #ayrton senna #Senna!reader

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iaeriy · 4 months

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unexpected II // joão fèlix x reader

summary: things can get strange at first without knowing.. but for a birthday surprise.. it turns out to be a huge moment for your boyfriend as you two settle in for some changes. // pregnancy makes its way through your life, tests and a appointment changing up your way.

word count; 4.5k

warnings: spanish translated sentences! (a few yet again..) pregnancy, mention of sex and vomit, crying, ultra sound and fluff,

a/n; can y’all believe it took me one solid day to finish the second part..so far i’ve also written down the summaries on the chapter..possibly 8 chapters coming out! anyways hope you guys enjoy!!

you quickly dailed your phone hoping for the response of your best friend, she had always told you when it came to a moment like this to dial her right away. slowly the phone rang as you got up walking to the bathroom again, “pick up pick up..” you murmured before she picked up the call, “hey! what’s up?” she said through the line, you were now roaming through your closet finding what to wear as you held your phone to your ear tightly. “hey so, this is kind of an emergency.. i need to run to the store really quick..” you said slowly speaking, you heard her say, “uh huh” through the speaker, “..and i missed my period being late for two weeks..and i got a call yesterday about my clinic checkup for my birth control..” you said before your friend gasped loudly, “DONT TELL ME YOU’RE PREGNANT. OH MY GOD!!!” she said squealing as you giggled, “i’m not sure..i’m hoping i am but am hoping am not at the same time..we’ve been talking about it for about a few months now..even when j holds his niece he starts begging me for a baby, am not quite sure yet, lils..” you said, finding an outfit before grabbing the pants and your sweatshirt walking back to the bedroom, the little jingle of flokis collar chasing you around.

“hmm..it’s okay! we’ll see, i’ll come by and pick you up in maybe about twenty to thirty minutes?” she said as you hummed in response, “okay! sounds perfect then, miss sequiera!” she said happily as you blushed at the nickname shes been giving you for the past 2 years of you and joao’s relationship. you giggled, “okay, i’ll be done soon. bye bye.” you said before hanging up, putting on your clothes on. a pair of white loose pants and a brown sweat shirt will do for the day, you looked down at floki who was laying down on the carpet. “you’ve been following me around since yesterday..what’s wrong?” you said bending down to pet his head, he looked up at you as you giggled, “come on, let’s go do your routine of the day.” you said before getting up carefully, hearing the little sounds from his collar he got up as you made your way downstairs.

you walked to the laundry room where his small station of food and treats were placed, something that joão had made ever since you surprised him with floki for his last birthday. you grabbed his bag of food before opening it up as you poured some of his food into his bowl, the small brown dog already doing twirls as you giggled at him before putting his food back up. “here you go..” you said watching him walk to his bowl as he began eating, you giggled before walking to the kitchen finding something to eat, you grabbed the box of strawberries opening it up as you placed a few in a bowl washing them with water. you moved around the kitchen looking for a knife to cut the green stem leaf off as you cut up the strawberries before putting them on your bowl. throwing the access of the fruit into the trash then putting back the strawberries into the fridge before lastly plcing the knife in the sknk.

you sat on the counter isle on the chair, before stuffing your mouth with a strawberry, you heard the little bells again before rolling your eyes watching floki plop down next to your chair. “seriously! what is up with you? you specifically never follow me and it’s mainly joão..” you said before finishing your last strawberry before the brown dog got up running back to his food, you giggled getting off the chair, walking over to the sink placing your bowl in the sink before you made your way to the living room then to the big mirror right infront of the sofa. you stood there for a bit as you rasied your shirt to your tummy, the bump nearly forming..your hand placing on your stomach. “little blip..” you said tapping on your stomach giggling before putting your shirt down, your phone chiming from the text message before looking down at it. lily was already outside waiting for you as you grabbed your stuff before looking down at floki, “you can’t come.. go play with your toy over there, you see it!” you said watching him run off to get it, you giggled again before opening the door and walking out the house, walking to the car and getting in.

“hey there miss sequeira! you ready for your big day..” liliana said smirking at you as you rolled your eyes, “am not too sure about this..” you said putting your seatbelt on, “you’ll be fine! we’ll just run to the store, grab a pack of tests then go to my house since its near the clinic and then we go to the clinic, you’ll be okay. i’ll be with you.” she said smiling at you as you giggled, “okay lets go now!” she said driving to the store, your hands cupping your stomach. is this actually happening? after you constantly, and constantly kept saying when you were younger you wanted a baby yourself. so many stuff going through your mind, you were so distracted you were barely paying attention to what lils was saying. “are you listening?” she said before you looked at her, “oops sorry..” you said before she giggled, “it’s okay.. don’t worry about it, besides your tummy is just right there. you can’t really see it with the baggy clothes you’re wearing. is that what you plan on doing?�� she said before turning near the store, “yeah..i don’t think i plan on telling him until maybe soon. i’ll see what we have going on by the next week..” you said before she parked the car. “well that’s good..let’s just run in there grab the tests and then go back home!” she said smiling before you whined.

“ugh..im already scared..” you said before she held your hand, “don’t, i’ll be here like always and watch. i promise.” she said before you smiled before she got out the car, you opened the car door getting out before you two walked inside the store. you grabbed a cart walking to the health area, before looking to the side and there it was. the pregnancy tests. “here grab two just to make sure even tho we’ll be going to the clinic, i’ll pay for them.” she said before you grabbed the blue ones and the pink ones, you gulped not knowing what will happen. “now let me push the cart! i need to grab some stuff from the makeup isle!” she said as you giggled at her reaction before you moved away from the cart letting her push it. “do you need anything else y/n?” she said as you shook your head, “no thanks, i should be okay lils..” you said before she smiled at you, “okay let’s go pag now then!” she said before you followed her behind to the self check out.

you watched her pay the stuff, your eyes never leaving the pregnancy tests before she put them in a seperate bag. “that’s for you miss sequiera, now hold the bag!” liliana said as you blushed smacking her arm playfully, “be quiet..” you said before bursting out a giggle, “let’s go back to my place now..” she said grabbing her bags from the items she purchased as you two walked out the store and into the parking lot, she opened the back of her car putting her bags in. “you’re putting them in the back or taking them with you?” she said as you shook your head, “with me..i need to read the back..” you said as she laughed before you rolled your eyes getting in the passenger seat.

you looked at both tests, the pink and blue one as you gulped. “i’m not too sure about this.. how do i have to hide it from j..” you said before she looked over at you driving to her place, “hmm..for now until whatever you want to do, wear his shirts. after all they’re oversized on you and you cannot tell, so you’ll be okay..” she said, a smile forming in your face before resting your arm against the window then your head, “i even threw up in the fucking morning after me and him had sex last night..” you murmured before she bursted out laughing, “typical y/n and joão activity, who knows what miss or mister baby must’ve felt.” she said as you whined, “oh my god..! please don’t say that.. i’m not even sure right now.” you said covering your face with your hands, coming out muffled as she smiled, “it probably is a baby in you y/n..you’ll be fine.” you said as she parked the car, you sighed loudly before grabbing the bag.

you got out the car before she got out with you, holding onto the bag you went inside. you sighed before grabbing a disposable plastic cup, “you’re peeing into the cup?” she said looking at you, you nodded your head as she shook her head, “THATS THE WHOLE POINT!” you said before she laughed at your temper, “okay okay, go in there and just do what u gotta do.” she said smiling at you, “okay..wish me luckkk..” you said before you walked to the bathroom, opening the door going in.

approximately five to 6 minutes later..

1:26 pm

after placing 3 tests into the cup you washed your hands waiting for the results, “how’s it going in there!” she said before you dried your hands with a towel, “i’m doing okay!” you said before walking over to the cup, you grabbed one of the tests out and..

pregnant.

your eyes widening as you felt your heart racing quickly, before grabbing the other one out again.

pregnant.

you looked at the pink one before grabbing it out the cup, your eyes widening again. all three were positive and confirmed pregnant. you put both three on the counter before opening the door, “let me see..” liliana said as you nodded your head letting her pass through before she looked down at the counter, a happy squeal coming out of her before she hugged you, you were happy as small tears were coming out of you. it felt like a dream, like none of this was happening. an actual human forming in your stomach, she pulled away from you from the hug looking at you. “you’re going to be a mommy, can you believe it!?” she said as you smiled before giggling, “mhm..” you said wiping your tears, “should we go to the clinic now?” she said as you shook your head, “the doctor said to wait dor a call to confirm my appointment..” you said before she nodded her head. you went back in to the bathroom, closing the lids from the test putting them in your bag to hide them for now until surprising joão.

you and liliana were now sitting down outside in her patio enjoying the view and having conversations about what so ever, she was the boyfriend of fermin lopez, your boyfriends best friend you could say, they’re always seen doing things together. suddenly your phone rang before picking it up, “hello?” you spoke, gladly and luckily it was the clinic calling to confirm an appointment for your checkup since you never returned for birth control. “okay thank you! uh huh, bye bye!” you said before hanging up checking the time, 1:50, the appointment would approximately be at 2:30. “should we go now? the drive is about 30 minutes isn’t it?” you said as she shook her head, “about 25, we can go now tho, then we can stop by and get something to eat?” she said before you nodded your head, she got up before you got up as well.

“you nervous?” she said as you shook your head, “not really..hopefully..” you said before she giggled, “you’ll be okay, i’ll be in there with you.” she said as you smiled at her before walking out the house, she unlocked the car..you got in the passenger seat sitting down, closing the door before she made her way to driver seat, sitting down. she started the car, driving off to the clinic. you were playing with your stomach, poking & tapping on it slightly, you weren’t so sure how big or small the baby was or how far along you were. “what’s wrong?” she said as you shook your head, “nothing..checking on the baby..i don’t know if its big or small..” you said as she smiled, “i’m sure it’s small right now, who knows..” she said before you giggled resting your head on the window.

“i guess she or he makes you sleepy?” she said before you nodded your head, “yea..i’ve been sleeping in late..i only woke up early today due to the puking but besides that i’ve slept in til 2pm..” you said as she laughed, “well, who knows what’ll happen more into your adventure, look we’re here now!” you said before you raised your head up, taking your seatbelt off you rubbed your stomach. before getting out the car as lils got out herself, “hold my arm, you’ll be okay y/n..” she said before interlocking your arms with hers, she smiled as you walked in to the clinic. you walked to the front before the nurse at front greeted you, “im checking in for y/n y/l/n..” you said before she nodded her head, “y/n y/l/n?” she said as you nodded you simply said, “yes” she smiled before grabbing a clipboard and a paper, “fill these forms and once you’re done, come back up front and you’ll be waiting with the doctor.” she said smiling before you smiled back, “okay, thank you!” you said grabbing the pen before walking back to lily sitting down on the chair.

“long ass sheet..” liliana murmured as you silently giggled, “really..don’t say that..” you said shaking your head before you read the form as you filled it in, “concerns we should know about?” the paper said before you began writing down the symptoms you were currently experiencing with, you flipped the page before marking off some of the information in the directions. “you’re very quick at these..” she said as you smiled, “i write quickly, what do u expect..” you said before getting up, “miss sequeira always prepared..” she said as you rolled your eyes before she giggled at your reaction, you walked over to the front before turning in your form and the clipboard as you put the pen back in the cup.

2:30 pm

“y/n!” you heard a nurse say your name before you got up as liliana followed you into the little hallway, “step on here please.” the nurse said before making you weight yourself and getting your height, as the usual. you twiddled with your fingers before she finished..you got off the scale as she led you to the small room. “here, you need to take this.” she said giving you a cup, “great another fucking pee in a cup thing..” you thought to yourself as you grabbed the cup from her smiling, “thank you..” you said before she smiled at you walking away, “another test?” liliana said, you nodded your head. “they usually do this.. i’ll be back, she said go into room number four..” you said before liliana nodded her head walking to the room, you walked the opposite direction to the bathroom doing your duty into the cup.

you put the blue lid on top closing it, you washed your hands quickly then drying your palms, opening the door before you saw the same nurse standing outside, “finished miss?” she said before you handed the cup over, she smiled at you. “thank you, the doctor will be with you in a few minutes.” she said smiling again before you smiled back, you walked over to the room number opening the door as liliana looked over at you. “well?” she said before you laughed, “nothing, just wait silly..i know you want to be a tía just from how excited you sound..” you said as she rolled her eyes, “a que no..” (that’s not true..) she said lying, a small giggle coming out of you before you sat on the bed covered with parchment paper.

a few minutes later..

you and liliana were talking before you heard a knock on the door, suddenly the door opened to the doctor. “buenas y/n! no te he mirado en días!” (hello y/n! i haven’t seen you in days!) she said hugging you slightly before you hugged her back, “y está señorita?” (and this young lady?) she said smiling at liliana, “mi amiga.” (my friend.) you said before they both shook hands, “bueno, ahora que regresas. que es lo que ha pasado?” (well, now that you returned. what has happened lately?) she said putting on a pair of gloves, “um well, obviously i missed the birth control appointment..i’ve had sore breasts..my appetite changed, am usually more hungry..i sleep in more..i even have a bit of morning sickness..” you said as the doctor hummed nodding her head, “i see..bueno, lo bueno es que el vaso que usaste voy a hacer unos exámenes y ahorita regreso!” (i see..well, the good thing is the cup you used i will be doing some tests with them, and i will be back!) she said opening the door walking out as you swung your legs against the bed.

“still nervous?” she said as you shook your head, “not really..” you said twiddling with your fingers, “i just don’t want to hide it from joão at all..what if he finds out quickly?” you said before liliana said “nuh uh” quickly, you snickered at the way she said it, “y/n, he won’t find out trust me. as long as you hide the tests in your bag and then wear his clothes, i’ll come by and visit but until now he wont know. how come when im on my period fermin doesnt know til the second day, that’s how busy and dumb they get.” she said before you laughed at her comment, “yeah true..that makes sense..” you said.

“besides, you got this. have you started thinking so far what you’re going to do to surprise him?” she said before you shook your head, “no..not yet..” you said looking down before the door knocked again, you lifted your head up as the doctor came in again, “hola hola! regrese otra vez y bueno tengo buena noticias!” (hello hello! i came back again and i have some good news!) she said as you looked up at her, “you’re pregnant! congratulations!” she said your eyes widening again, now this time it was for real. even tho the tests were also true, it feels more real with this appointment. you smiled before she smiled back, “would you like to see how far along you are?” she said as you nodded your head.

“vale, just lay back down and i’ll get starting on the sonogram.” she said smiling, you laid down against the parchment paper making small ruffled sounds, before she walked over to the area with the computer console turning on the video monitor.. she walked back over turning the lights off for a better view of the screen before she sat on the chair getting closely, “okay, te voy a levantar la camisa un poquito y despues ponerte el gel.. en tu estomago.. vas a sentir un poco de frío.” (okay, i’m going to lift yohr shirt just a bit and then apply gel..on your stomach..you’ll feel a bit of a coldness.) she said before you said a small, “okay” you lifted your shirt up to your belly as you looked down watching apply the cold gooey green gell, you shivered at the small coldness before she grabbed the attached transducer connected to the machine. she began moving the little controller to zoom in as she moved the transducer around the gel, a figure appear. nearly the size of an orb.

“you should see your baby right here..” she said as you looked at the screen, there was somewhat two orbs. “why is there two?” you said confused as she looked at you, “it appears that you’re having twins miss y/n..” she said as liliana gasped, “TWINS!?” she said before she smiled at you, you were shocked and surprised. “t-twins? in my first pregnancy?” you said before she nodded her head, “don’t worry, its very common in some pregnancies and rare..but in this case of scenario, congrats!” she said before you saw illiana taking photos of the ultrasound. “how far a-along a-am i..?” you said before she looked at the screen, “well you’re just starting first trimester, 6 weeks so far so, you’re two months approximately.” she said, your heart dropping. two months and you never knew..that’s strange.. you cleared your throat.

“c-can i hear the heartbeat of both the babies?”

“of course!” she said moving the controller around, “this is baby number one’s heart beat..” she said as you listened to it, the loud heart beat echoing through the room. your heart racing quickly itself listening to your baby’s heartbeat, she zoomed in as you looked at the screen. “baby number one’s arms and legs are already forming!” she said happily as you smiled looking at the baby, its eyes already appearing. “you can also see the nose and eyes as well..” she said smiling.

“..and here is baby number two..” she said moving the controller to the other side of your stomach, it was loud as well. the baby also had its eyes and nose. legs and arms forming. “baby number two is also forming the same as baby number one as well!” she said as you felt tears forming before watching the little image on the screen, “would you want me to take a small photograph of this?” she said as you sniffled, “yes please!” you said before she smiled getting copies of the ultrasound, she grabbed a paper towel removing the gel of your tummy. she cleaned the transducer, “here you go..” she said handing you the photos. you sat up before she lowered your shirt to your tummy, you smiled. “gracias.” you said before she got off the chair turning the lights back on, “well! i’ll be calling for your next appointment! the babies are doing well and they’re healthy, i’ll give you this little foldable for you to see what you can do and eat while your babies are in your stomach, have a good day miss y/l/n!” she said as you smiled, “thank you! you as well!” before she left as you wiped your tears.

“i’m gonna be a tia..you’re the mami! isn’t that exciting!!?” she said before you bursted out crying out of happiness, liliana walking over to you, hugging you. “it’s okay..you’ll be fine..” she said before you sniffled, “i-i’m just happy..i have to start thinking tho of what to do..” you said before she smiled, “mhmmm, now let’s go and get lunch for you and the little babies.” she said as you giggled before you two walked out the room and outside the clinic.

after going out for almost the whole day it was nearly about time for joão and illianas boyfriend to be home, “what’s up?” she said looking at you, “my tummy feels way fuller than i usually get..” you said before she giggled, “well..you just fed yourself and the babies..it’s okay y/n.. he won’t notice..” iliana said as you giggled, “mhmm..” you said almost falling asleep, “hey..wake up! we’re about to get to your home..” she said as you sighed, huffing out. she parked the car before you sighed out, “too tired..” you murmured before she laughed, “come on now, you have to go..” she said as you sat up, you rubbed your eyes before she unlocked the doors. “well..i’ll be going now..i’ll talk to you soon about the surprise planning..” you said grabbing your stuff as she smiled, “sounds good!” lils said before you hugged her, “thank you again..” you said before you unbuckled your belt, “bye!” you said opening the door, as she waved at you before you waved back closing the door before running back inside, you opened the door getting in the house as floki ran over to you.

“hii there..did you miss me..” you said as he began to jump on your legs, you giggled holding him as you heard footsteps from upstairs. joão is home. you thought in your head before going upstairs, floki following you from the sounds of his collar as you opened the door. “when’d you get home early baby..” you said as he chuckled, “he let us out early, what were you doing out tho..you look so gorgeous..” he said getting up, a giggle coming out of you. “my baby..” he said kissing you, you kissed back cupping his cheek before you smiled against his lips. “i’m tired j..can we take a nap..” you said as he looked down at you, “of course hermosa..” he said picking you up, you were in a giggling mess before he placed you down on the bed. “let me go change into something comfortable.. then we can sleep in baby..” you said as he nodded his head before plopping himself on the bed, you grabbed your purse placing it on your shelf.

luckily he never asked you anything, you smiled to yourself before rubbing your stomach, “my babies..” you said sighing out before you changed into one of joão’s white shirts and just your panties, you walked to the bed before crawling on the bed, crawling to your spot. you laid next to joão before looking at him, “hm?” he said as you blushed, “n-nada..” you said kissing his cheek, “floki keeps following me around..” you murmured watching the brown dog struggle to get on the bed before he jumped on the bed running to the middle, running around and plopping himself down. “he just loves you like his daddy does..don’t worry anjo..” he said kissing your cheek before you nuzzled your head into his chest.

you were nearly falling asleep feeling joãos hands rub your back and play with your hair, you hummed in your sleep. “sleep with me..” you murmured as he chuckled, “fine fine..” he said before you fell asleep on him, your head resting on his chest. he kissed your forehead before he fell asleep on you.

what a good way to hide such a small family of four without him knowing..

#football x reader #football imagine #football one shots #joao felix x reader #joao felix imagine #joao felix one shots #joao felix fluff #joao felix smut #joao felix angst

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yerimbrit · 3 months

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you're my dream : h. yunjin

synopsis: your girlfriend wakes you up at the crack of dawn for a sweet picnic date watching the sunrise.

# pairing ! nonidol!huh yunjin x reader

# tags ! just fluff really, established relationship, reader's gender isn't mentioned, usages of both 'jen' and 'yunjin', yunjin is one year older but it's not that relevant

# wordcount ! 1.7k

# warnings ! none

"babe, get up; i've got something special planned for us."

yunjin shook you awake, but you groaned and pulled the covers back over your shoulders.

"y/n..." she whined. you could tell she was pouting by the tone of her voice.

deciding not to make her wait any longer since she seemed so keen on getting you awake, you peeled the white comforter off your body and sat up. as you thought, your girlfriend was standing next to the bed with a big, sad pout on her lips. and of course, she was flashing you her infamous puppy dog eyes. as much as you loved your beauty sleep, you loved yunjin even more, so you could never be mad at her and her (adorably) dumb puppy eyes for waking you up.

you rubbed your eyes, attempting to get the sleepiness out before speaking. "what is it, jen?"

"i have a surprise for you! so get ready, we're gonna go out, please?"

she took your hands in hers, giving them a squeeze before pulling you out of bed without waiting for an answer. you followed her to the closet without much resistance, where she quickly handed you one of her favorite sweatshirts and a pair of washed-out jeans.

yunjin left for you to change, and when you entered the bathroom you're alone with your thoughts as you slipped into the clothes she picked for you and got ready.

you and yunjin had met in a rather intriguing way. you had reserved a private room at the library to study, and she barged in, out of breath and wide eyes.

(you were well into your study session, soft lofi playing into your headphones. you had a quiz in bio coming up, and you were not about to fail unlike your friend yizhuo who slept in class all the time. she was always a mystery to you anyway; always at parties, always getting drunk, and never paying attention in class. regardless, she was still your best friend, you two having met back in high school. you stopped her antics when it got too far, and she showed you how to truly live life and have fun.

"peristalsis is similar to propulsion where the food is moving through the system," you muttered to yourself, jotting the words down into your notebook, glancing at your laptop screen which showed the recorded lecture from last week.

you were about to unpause the lecture to try to catch more things you missed until the door burst open, revealing a girl who you recognized as the cute barista at the cafe you frequented on campus. she was leaning on the door panting, her hands on her knees as her gaze redirected from the door she just slammed to you, a sheepish smile making its way to her face.

"hi," she breathed out.

you tilted your head. "hi?"

she grabbed a plastic bottle from her bag and took a few gulps of water, letting out a relieved sigh after hydrating herself. she turned to face you.

"i'm so sorry for interrupting you. i'm yunjin, by the way, but you can call me jen."

amused, you pulled out a chair for her, gesturing for her to take a seat, to which she grinned and thanked you for before sitting down.

"it's not a problem," you reassured her, "why'd you do it though?"

her cheeks flushed, and she looked away briefly. 'cute,' you think.

"well, long story short... i lost a bet against one of my friends," she giggled, "and was trying to escape from my fate.")

you two hit it off after that, and soon you had started waiting for yunjin's shift to end so you could see her. after numerous ranting sessions with yizhuo and after 4 months, she was now your girlfriend. it's now been 8 months and you think it's safe to say she's the best you've ever had.

a loud clattering of what seemed to be things falling to the ground followed by an "i'm okay!" from yunjin woke you from your train of recollection. grabbing your phone, you exited the connected bathroom and opened the bedroom door to see the girl you were just thinking about, surrounded by a few books that have fallen to the floor.

"...oops?" she laughed, picking the fallen books up and putting them back onto the shelf. "ready to go, y/nnie?"

interlocking your hands, you nodded and let her lead you out of your shared apartment and to her car. it was still dark outside. she opened the door for you, then going around to the driver's seat and putting on a playlist you two made, titled 'youngluv' with a heart at the end.

the car ride was spent in comfortable silence, her hand over yours on the armrest. you asked where you were going once, and all she replied with was, "you'll see."

after a good 15 minutes, yunjin parked the car and opened the door for you once again. you followed her to the trunk where you're met with a picnic basket and blanket.

"surprise!"

you gasped, looking to your girlfriend, who only had a cheeky grin on her face.

"jen, what's this for?" you asked, worrying that you forgot an anniversary or a birthday.

she hummed in response. "nothing, really. i just felt like it. and i thought you'd like it."

"you're so sweet, jen. i love it," you say, grabbing the blanket from the car. yunjin got the basket. your eyes softened when she looked towards you with bright eyes.

you both carried the things from the car to a nice grassy spot overlooking the sea. the blanket is spread and you set the basket on top of the soft fabric. yunjin ran back to the car and retrieved a bouquet of flowers from the backseat, presenting it to you with a bright smile.

she bowed dramatically. "for you, m'lady."

"why, thank you kind miss," you giggled, taking the flowers and smelling them. "they're beautiful."

"only the best for my one and only."

you laughed, eyes crinkling up into crescents, and yunjin takes a second to admire your smile.

"i only receive the best from my knight in shining armor!"

you set the flowers down while yunjin took out tupperware containers out from the basket. she opens them one by one, allowing you to see what she's packed for the day. your eyes sparkled at the cut strawberries, and you almost drooled at the sight of your favorite sandwiches made by yunjin.

"does it look good?" she asked. you brought your attention to the girl, who picked up a piece of strawberry and holds it up to your lips.

"it does," you say, your mouth automatically opened and she feeds it to you.

the sweetness of the fruit was a welcome surprise to your taste buds. you haven't had anything since you were abruptly woken up, and the fruit was a nice way to wash out the minty flavor of your toothpaste.

you squeal at the taste, and take another piece of strawberry to feed to your lover.

"wow. i think that's the best strawberry i've ever had, seriously."

"you're lying."

"i'm not!"

you're in the middle of taking a bite of your sandwich when yunjin nudges your shoulder. raising your eyebrow, you follow her pointed finger until widening your eyes at the sight of the sunrise.

in awe, you put down your sandwich and turned to watch the sky being painted varying shades of red, orange, and yellow.

"the sun looks like an egg yolk," the older girl stated. you smiled and nudged her shoulder. she returned your smile and tried to defend herself. "what? i'm right. it looks like a sunny side up egg."

"you're right," you say, and lean your head on her shoulder. "it does look like an egg."

yunjin rests her head on top of yours. "do you know why i woke you up so early and prepared all this?"

you shook your head. she hummed.

"i remember you telling me about this dream you had. i think it was after our three month anniversary."

("morning, jen."

"good morning, sunshine! sleep well?"

you hugged the girl from behind, wrapping your arms around her waist from where she was standing at the kitchen counter. she was brewing a cup of coffee for the two of you for the morning.

"yeah. i had a dream," you said.)

"you said, 'we went on a picnic, and we were feeding each other strawberries. you also packed those sandwiches of yours that i love, and we sat there just watching the sunrise. it was really sweet, i'd love to have that in real life too.'"

you turned your gaze to yunjin. "you remember all that? word for word?"

she fed you another piece of strawberry to close your gaping mouth, and nodded. "i've been planning it for months, waiting for a free space in our schedules for this."

confused, you get up from her shoulder when she reaches for a small box in the picnic basket you thought was empty. when she opens the box in front of you, you let out a gasp of astonishment.

inside were a pair of silver rings, engraved with your initials and the date of the day you first met on the inside.

"yunjin, these are..." she interrupted you, "promise rings."

"i wanted to make this date perfect, so i contacted one of my old friends whose family owns a jewelry store, and got these custom made for us. aren't they amazing?"

you looked into her deep, brown eyes, and took the ring engraved with your initials and slipped it onto her ring finger.

"they're gorgeous, my love."

she gleamed, and slipped the other ring onto your ring finger.

"i'm glad you like them."

you rested your head back onto yunjin's shoulder and interlocked your fingers together.

the rest of the morning was spent finishing all the snacks your girlfriend packed, and taking pictures of each other and the scenery around you, laughs and kisses shared under the golden sunlight shining upon the two of you.

if one was focusing enough, one might be able to see two glints of rings shining from the distance.

a/n : first public post ... this was so fun to write + i thought i'd feed the yunjinators not my best work but i wanted to put it out :)

#le sserafim x reader #huh yunjin x reader #yunjin x reader #le sserafim #le sserafim imagines

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uncharismatic-fauna · 8 months

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Close Up with Coyotes

Often confused with wolves, foxes, or even stray dogs, the coyote (Canis latrans) is a species of canid found only in Central and North America, from Panama to central Canada. Historically, the coyote mainly occupied grasslands, scrubland, and deserts; however, in the past few centuries the species has expanded its range to include deciduous and evergreen forests, mountains, swamps, and even cities. Generally individuals and groups keep to one home territory, but they will move when resources become lacking.

Among the canines, coyotes are rather small, weighing only 8 to 20 kg (18 to 44 lb), and males tend to be larger than females. Generally coyotes sport a light gray, red, or brownish coat with a lighter underside; however, regional populations may differ wildly. This species may be identified from other canids by its large pointed ears, whitish facial markings, and narrow snout.

Though C. latrans does occasionally form packs, it is more likely to hunt individually or in small family groups. Nonfamily packs, usually made of bachelors, are rare. In addition, coyotes have been known to form mutualistic hunting relationships with other species like badgers. It is primarily carnivorous, hunting mainly at dawn and dusk for rabbits and hares, squirrels, mice, lizards, and occasionally larger targets such as deer or pronghorn. This species will also readily consume carrion, as well as produce and human food waste, making it highly adaptable to urban areas. Traditionally, the species has been limited via both competition and direct predation by wolves and cougars; in its expanded range, coyotes may also be predated upon by bears, alligators, lynx, and golden eagles.

Though reproduction typically takes place in the spring, from January to March, temporary pair bonds may form as early as November. Mates prepare dens, which may be dug out or selected from tree hollows or pre-existing burrows, and establishes a territory up to 19 square km (11 square miles). During this time, daughters from a females previous litter, or her sisters, may join the group. Pregnancy typically lasts just over 60 days, during which time the male and any assisting females do most of the hunting. Litters average 6 pups, and weaning takes about a month. During this time, the male continues to provide for the mother and pups, but will abandon the den if the mother goes missing. By the age of four or five weeks the pups develop a hierarchy through play-fighting. After about 6 months, the male pups will leave, while females will typically stay with their mothers until at least the next mating season, at which time they reach sexual maturity. In the wild, individuals may live as long as 10 years.

Conservation status: Due to its large range and adaptability to human habitats, the C. latrans is considered Least Concern by the IUCN. In urban areas, coyotes are regularly hunted as a nuisance species due to their predation on free-roaming pets and, occasionally, livestock.

In traditional Indigenous American stories, the coyote was seen as a trickster or anti-hero (here is an interesting paper about the 'Coyote' character in traditional stories versus western interpretations). The European colonization of North America and the eradication of large predators like wolves and cougars has allowed coyotes to spread far beyond their original geographic range and become a 'nuisance species' in urban areas.

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Neil Nurmi

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#coyote #Carnivora #Canidae #canines #canids #carnivores #mammals #generalist fauna #generalist mammals #grasslands #grassland mammals #scrubland #scrubland mammals #deserts #desert mammals #north america

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ladykailitha · 5 months

Text

Grief (A Friend Indeed) Part 12

And here we are at the end. Thank you so much for being on this journey with me.

Here we have Steve's POV of the last scene from last week, he talks to Hopper and Steve's uncle further proves he'd be a better parent than Clint Harrington.

Pt 1 Pt 2 Pt 3 Pt 4 Pt 5 Pt 6 Pt 7 Pt 8 Pt 9 Pt 10 Pt 11

****

Steve watched Eddie march to the truck and let out a shuddering breath. He thought that they had really connected here. But now as they were going back to Hawkins it appeared that Eddie was just going to leave that here in Ashland.

He got to his car and looked at the sad little cooler and just lost it. He started cursing and hitting the steer wheel.

“Stupid, stupid, stupid!” he hissed. “You never did hear a name, did you, Harrington? Apparently he was in love with someone else all this time and was only being nice because you were having a mental break down.”

He could feel the tears stream down his face. Bitter and angry. “You should have been supporting him not the other way round. That’s probably why he’s soooo pissed at you. Because he was grieving and you made it all about you. Like you always do. Fuck!”

Just then the passenger side door was wrenched open and Eddie slid in.

The tears dried up instantly in his surprise. “Eds?”

And then Eddie proceeded to just knock all his intrusive thoughts out of the fucking ballpark. Just sent them running like a scared dog with its tail between its legs.

Then kissed him about it.

They still needed to have a proper conversation but that could wait until they were back in Hawkins.

Steve could live with that.

When they got home they had that talk. Eddie learned about all the different girls who had propositioned him and was pissed on his behalf.

“That’s fucking bullshit,” he said. “You shouldn’t have had to deal with that.”

Steve shrugged. “You had enough on your plate. Plus, I sicced Uncle Danny after them.”

Eddie blinked. “Oh. I think I would have paid good money to see that.”

“I didn’t have to send anyone after Beth though,” Steve said with a grin, “Lauren did that all on her own.”

“I’m so glad you two got along,” Eddie murmured. “But in the future, you tell me these things. I want to protect you, the way you protect everyone else, okay?”

Steve agreed.

Wayne walked into the new house provided by the government, wiping his hands on an old rag.

“Everything is in the garage for us to sort and place later,” he told Eddie.

“You two going to be wanting help getting everything in?” Steve asked.

Wayne shook his head. “Lauren and her Uncle Hal are coming out next week to help out.”

Eddie ran his tongue over his teeth thoughtfully. “Yeah? I didn’t hear about that.”

Wayne had the presence of mind to blush. “It must have slipped my mind.”

“Uh-huh,” Steve and Eddie said together.

Wayne cleared his throat. “So I’m going to be seeing you a lot more now that you and Ed are together?”

Steve grinned, wrapping his arms around Eddie’s waist and putting his head on his shoulder. “I’ll be here so often, you’ll think I live here.”

Wayne hummed. “We’ll come back to that in a few months.”

Eddie blushed. “Nice to know you aren’t planning the wedding already, old man.”

Wayne blinked innocently. “Oh I am, but I’m thinking fall of next year or the year after.”

Eddie coughed and sputtered as Steve laughed.

He turned to Steve. “Why aren’t you defending me against this?” He waved at Wayne’s smug expression.

“Because I’m already coming up with arguments for a late spring early summer wedding instead.”

Eddie’s jaw dropped. “That’s some confidence you got there, darlin’. What makes you think I’ll say yes.”

Steve kissed him, slow and searing.

Eddie blushed. “Yup. Okay. Uh-huh. Point made.”

Wayne just smiled fondly.

Steve was really starting to regret setting the party on his Uncles Percy and David.

Robin, El, and Will had kidnapped Percy, while Dustin, Mike, and Nancy had absconded with David somewhere.

Eddie, Lauren, and Jonathan were talking to Hal and Lucas, Max, and Erica were talking to Wayne.

Hopper came up to Steve and put his arm around his shoulders.

Steve relaxed into the embrace.

“You did good, kid,” Hopper said. “I’m proud of you.”

Steve nodded and then rubbed the end of his nose, trying to fight back the tears.

“I had a long talk with Joyce about some of her choices that she made while I was gone,” he continued. “I’m glad I’m out of that hell hole, but she should have made sure everyone was safe first.”

“She had a lot on her plate,” Steve murmured.

Hopped cuffed the back of his head. “Don’t you go forgiving her without her apologizing first. I had to go back to California because apparently some fucked up general decided to shoot up the Byers house in Lenora.”

Steve looked over at Hopper in shock. “They did what now?”

Hopper nodded. “It was a complete shit show. But you have to know, I wouldn’t have just left you behind if I didn’t think you could handle it.”

“I know, I just...”

“Just wish you didn’t have to handle it?” he asked. Steve nodded. “I getcha. I wish you didn’t have to either. But I trust you to take care of everyone here, because I know they’re in safe hands with you.”

Steve choked back a sob. “Thanks, Hop.”

“Still can’t believe you’re dating that Munson kid,” he teased.

Steve pushed Hop way playfully. “Oh fuck off. He’s a good man.”

Hop looked over at him talking to Jonathan and Hal. “If he gets you to take care yourself or at least does it for you, he gets a pass from me.”

Steve blushed. “He takes care of me. It’s incredible how easy he makes it look.”

“I know your family was shit growing up,” Hop said. “But look at it now.”

Steve looked out at the fifteen-sixteen people out there lounging around the swimming pool with fondness.

“I always wanted a big family,” he said softly. “Who would have thought that all it would take is some extra-dimensional monsters to make it happen.”

Hopper chuckled. “I feel you kid. Before I started all this, I had lost my daughter to cancer and my wife to divorce. Now, not only do I have another daughter to take care of, I have a woman I love and her two boys that are like her sons to me.”

Steve made a grimace. “Does that mean Jonathan is my step-brother, because ew.”

“I heard that Harrington!” Jonathan called out.

Steve and Hopper laughed.

Eddie came bounding up to Steve. “I’m not sure I want the Chief as a father-in-law, babe.”

Steve smiled. “Oh that is going to make for some very awkward family dinners.

Percy came up behind Eddie.

“Hello, I’m Steve’s uncle, Percy,” he said extending his hand to Hopper to shake.

“Yeah,” Hopper said. “I’ve been hearing all about you. I’m sorry Clint Harrington kept you away from Steve for all this time.”

Percy nodded. “Jasper being an idiot didn’t help, unfortunately. But I’m in Steve’s life for good. There’s nothing that his parents could do that would change that.”

Steve gave Percy a hug in gratitude.

“Welcome to Hawkins then,” Hopper said with a smile. “It’s bit of a mess at the moment, but it’s home.”

“Well,” Percy said with a smile, “the welcome so far has been amazing I’m happy Steven has a support system now.” He turned to Steve. “May I pull you away for a moment. There’s something I would like to talk to you about.”

Steve looked at Hopper and Eddie who both shrugged. “Sure, lead the way.”

Percy went inside the kitchen and sat down at the counter. “When you told me that you didn’t get into the colleges and universities you applied for, I called around.”

Steve frowned. “Why? My grades slipped after Christmas my senior year. I ended at 2.76 GPA. I figured that wasn’t good enough to get in.”

“Yes,” Percy said. “If they only looked at your senior year. But they don’t. They look at a cumulative GPA from all your years at high school. You had a cumulative GPA of 3.16. Which is more than enough to get into any college you wanted. Especially with you still winning medals in swimming.”

His frown deepened. “But Dad said that I didn’t get into any of those schools.”

“Yes, which I thought was odd,” Percy further explained. “Which is why I called. Steven, you got accepted into two thirds of the schools you applied for.”

Steve leaned back. “What? That’s not possible.”

“I’m guessing Clint only showed you the one third you didn’t get into and told you the rest was the same.”

“Why?” he breathed. “Why would he do that?”

“Because the schools you got into weren’t the ones he wanted you to go to is my next guess.”

“I can go to college?” Steve asked, his lip quivering. “I don’t have to be stuck here my whole life?”

Percy shook his head. “You are a smart young man, and David and I are very committed to helping you get to where you want to go in life. Your parents mail have failed you, but I promise we won’t.”

Steve let out a shaky breath. “Thank you so much.”

Percy got up and hugged him. “Now go back out to your boy, he’ll be worried about you.”

Steve nodded and walked back out.

Percy followed close behind and wrapped his arm around David’s waist.

“You think they’re going to be okay?” David asked as they watch Steve and Eddie cling to each other.

“Oh yes,” Percy said. “It may have taken a tragedy to get them here, but they are smart boys with a great support system. There is nothing those boys can’t do now.”

“I’m happy to have met them,” David said.

“Me too.”

****

Tag List: @spectrum-spectre @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @artiststarme @swimmingbirdrunningrock @gregre369 @pyrohonk @a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @chaoticlovingdreamer @messrs-weasley @goodolefashionedloverboi @maya-custodios-dionach @val-from-lawrence @i-must-potato @danili666 @carlyv @rozzieroos @emly03 @wonderland-girl143-blog @justforthedead89 @bookworm0690 @itsall-taken @bookbinderbitch @redfreckledwolf @vecnuthy @littlewildflowerkitten @scheodingers-muppet @mira-jadeamethyst @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @gutterflower77 @genderless-spoon @hel-spawn @ellietheasexylibrarian @anne-bennett-cosplayer @mamafaithful @yikes-a-bee @dragonmama76 @flaming-reauxster @r0binscript @awkotaco24 @ilikeititspretty @5ammi90

#my writing #stranger things #steddie #ladykailtiha writes #minor character death #dealing with grief

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so-long-soldier-writes · 2 months

Text

Dog Days Are Over

kai parker x reader

summary: the post-wedding heartbreak never ceases. without him, life seems to lose its meaning. but despite your best efforts to depart and chase the void that seems to call to you, somehow you're held back. someone refuses to let you go.

tags: tw: su1c1de attempt & thoughts, blood, blood drinking, vampirism / transition, heretics / siphoning, emotional hurt / comfort, light angst, heartache, anger / mild violence, slow recovery, domesticity, friendships, found family, canon divergence, loosely follows plot of seasons 7 & 8

word count: 8.2k

a/n: I'm obsessed with found family x heretics, if you can't tell. I've had this idea for months and finally was able to execute it! (and by execute, i mean write the whole thing in 10 hours & edit for 2 days)

A subtle weight rests on your body; a heaviness in your chest makes it hard to breathe. You don’t fight it. In a couple of minutes, it won’t matter anyway. The wound in your stomach bleeds, soiling your bright blue shirt with a dark red tint. Your heart rate slows, and your eyes flutter. The world around you is getting darker by the second. The end is near, and you swear you can taste it. To whether it’s heaven or hell you are headed, you don’t mind. Or maybe, it’s nothingness. A void. Either way, anything is better than here.

Your short gasps for breath begin to even out as your heart fails. Pumping no longer seems necessary, so the organ quits. It succumbs to the state that your brain has been in for weeks: numb. Cold. Dead.

A glimpse of life flashes before your wilting eyes. A figure running towards you, putting their hands on your cheek. Your lover, maybe, greeting you for an eternity of peaceful nothingness together. Your lips part in the joy of seeing him. Blood trickles from your mouth; the wound finally shutting down your body. Your eyes close and you welcome the darkness.

<•>

The next time you wake up, it’s still dark, and you automatically assume it’s the void that called you home. The Other Side collapsed over a year ago, but supernatural creatures have died since, and nobody ever knows where they go. Here, presumably. To the dark.

After a moment, your eyes begin to adjust and you move to sit up on your knees. The ground beneath you is hard and cold, like cement. It is not at all welcoming or comforting, but maybe that’s how death is supposed to feel. You shrug, not caring yet. Soon, you won’t feel anymore. Soon, you’ll enter the void, or cross the Styx, or whatever is the last necessary step of dying. Soon, you’ll be free.

You stand, then stumble. One minute, your mind and soul feel empty, but in the next, an insatiable hunger takes over your body. It knocks you back to your knees. A whine escapes your throat. Death should not feel this way. Death is supposed to be empty. Something’s wrong.

“Hello?” You call into the void, not expecting an answer.

Instead, you hear a far-off voice, talking not to you, but someone else. “She’s awake.”

Fear thumbs in your heart. You put a hand over it, only to realize after a couple seconds that it’s not beating. The hunger increases as the sound of footsteps approaches. This isn’t happening. You can’t be alive; shouldn’t be. You chose death. Wanted it. Sought it.

But someone had other plans.

<•>

“Hello?” A girl calls out, maybe to you. She waits, then pulls back a small window, letting a little light in your supposed void. “Where are you?”

“What do you want?” You ask, straining. Your voice comes out weaker than you like it to be.

“I brought you something.”

“Nora, turn on the light,” another girl says.

“Would you like a light?”

No, you think. You’d like to be dead. But… you’d also like to identify your captors. “Okay.”

An overhead light comes on a moment later. You shut your eyes tight as it floods your senses, then open it once you start to adjust.

“Too much?”

“Was there a lamp option?” You sass.

“I could find a lamp,” the second girl suggests.

“We’ll find her one in a moment,” the first turns back to you, “can you see us alright?”

Finally, you can. Two girls peek through a window, one brunette and one blonde. They seem sweet, not like the high school mean girls’ type, but you’re still cautious. “I can see you.”

“Good. We have something for you.”

The smell of blood attacks your senses. Your hunger grows.

You make two big strides to the pair, before realizing something. You weren’t a vampire before, so why should the smell of blood excite you now? You stop, shaking your head. “No.”

“You have to drink,” the blonde urges. You have to complete the transition, she doesn’t say, despite it on her mind.

“No, I wanted to die. I tried to die.” You lock eyes with the brunette. “One of you turned me.”

“Y/N, you can’t die. You-”

“How do you know my name?! Who are you?!”

“That doesn’t matter right now, what matters is that you drink.”

“No!”

“Y/N, please!” She holds the bag further out to you.

Your weak body begs for you to drink, but your mournful heart refuses. “No!” You shout again. “I’m not drinking your blood; I’m not transitioning!”

“You have to!” The blonde agrees with her friend. “You’re getting paler by the second.”

“Good. Then I’ll have lived and died a witch.”

“You’re too young to die, Y/N. You can’t give up. He wouldn’t want you to give up.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Please, drink, and then we can talk.”

“No. You can’t make me.”

“I can,” she argues.

“You won’t come in here with me. With me so close to transitioning. That would be suicide.”

“Well we can’t let you die, either.”

You stand off with the two girls. They seem to communicate telepathically between themselves. It’s quite frightening to not know what they’re thinking. You stare at them, wondering who they are and why they care that you live.

“You’ll thank us later, Y/N, just drink.”

“I don’t want to live. If I wanted to, I wouldn’t have stabbed myself.”

“You won’t feel this heartbreak forever,” the blonde speaks, like a Hallmark card you didn’t ask to receive. You roll your eyes.

“I think we have to,” the first girl says, hand undoing the bag.

“I agree.”

Before you can ask about their apparent plan, they’re opening the door and swarming to you.

“Get out!” You cry. The blonde holds your left arm, while the brunette backs you up to the wall. “I don’t want it.”

“You’ll be grateful one day,” she sticks her promise to you again.

“If it’s not today, there’s no point. I can’t take this anymore.”

“Take it from someone who spent a hundred years in solitary confinement, I know loneliness. It hurts. It’s worse than a knife to the stomach,” she references your attempt. It’s still apparent on your clothes. “But life isn’t all sad. Sometimes it can be beautiful.”

“I’ve seen it beautiful,” you argue, tears forming in your eyes, “I've seen it, yet I’ll never see it again.”

“You have to trust us. Trust yourself. You can be happy again.”

“No.”

“Yes, Y/N, come on. Drink the blood.” The brunette holds the bag to your face, pinning you against the wall.

“No.” In a last ditch effort, you raise your free arm and smack the bag out of her hand. It flies, then hits the stone wall across from you and splatters. Her eyes go wide, and when she looks back at you, a triumphant look shines in your eyes.

“What did you do that for?!” The blonde shouts. “Waste a perfectly good bag!”

“It’s okay, Mary Louise, just means she’ll get a taste of the real stuff.” Before you can ask, the vampire before you is biting her wrist and shoving it between your lips. You fight, kicking and swinging, but the girls are much stronger. “Keep her still,” she nods to her friend, “just a little more.”

Your wrist starts to burn. You glance down for a second and see an orange glow emitting from the point of connection on your skin. “What-”

The brunette takes advantage of your parted lips and shoves her wrist further into your mouth. “Okay, stop,” she says, and the girl siphoning stops.

Your body is weak, but your heart feels strong. It doesn’t beat, but the blood filling your stomach powers it. The siphoning, however, tolls on your body. The girls let go of you, watch you daze, then gently help your body to the floor. You’re out like a light, asleep.

<•>

You’re much stronger the second time awake. Stronger, with a vengeance. First, you need to find out who those girls were, how they were able to siphon you, and why they wanted to keep you alive. Then, you need to find the nearest piece of wood and send your soul to the void like you had planned.

You look around, searching for anything sharp and anything wooden. You realize now that you’re in a cellar with absolutely nothing that could be used as a weapon, and the only thing in there with you is another blood bag. Angrily, you kick it and it splatters. The smell reaches your nose and you curse yourself for wasting it, now hungry. On the bright side, the violent act seems to let your captors know you’re awake. They walk gingerly down the stairs only a moment later, then switch on a lamp before opening the window.

“Y/N?” The brunette starts, tone cautious.

Your reply is bitter. “What?”

“I’m sorry we had to hold you down. We didn’t want it to come to that.”

“But you had to drink. We couldn’t let you die.”

“What do you care? And who are you?” Then, “and why could you siphon me?”

“If we let you out, will you run?”

“We can’t let her out, Mary. I don’t trust she won’t hurt herself.” You scoff. She turns back to you. “I’m Nora, this is Mary Louise.”

“And? How do you know me?”

“Well, we don’t, but we recognized you from pictures.”

“Pictures? What pictures?”

The girls hesitate. A name rests on their tongues, but they don’t utter it. Unbeknownst to you, they fear saying it out loud will drive you mad. Names have power, and in this case, a lot of it.

“Doesn’t matter right now,” the brunette, Nora, says instead. “What matters is that you get better.”

You laugh dryly. “I would’ve been better off dead.”

Mary Louise seems to get agitated at that. “Stop saying that! You have to live! He’d-”

“Mary, don’t say anything.” The girl quiets immediately.

“Why do you care so much if I live? Who’s he? Where am I?”

“Technically, you’re in the Salvatore house. The basement. We’d give you a room if we could trust you, but it’s too great a risk that you’d hurt yourself still.”

“Why the boarding house? Where’s Damon? Stefan? Do they know I’m here?”

The girls share glances but confess nothing. “You’re safe here. We are not going to hurt you.”

“That’s what people often say before hurting said captive.”

“You’re at more risk by your own hand than ours,” Mary retorts. “You stabbed yourself in an alley behind a dumpster. You’re lucky Nora and I sensed the blood.”

“Luck is not the term I’d use. If you couldn’t tell, I did it on purpose.”

They sigh as if they knew it was on purpose, but for some reason they’re not telling you, they still felt the need to save you.

You ask again, “why did you turn me? Why not just let me die?”

Nora hands you a new blood bag. “Drink this.”

Rolling your eyes more, you refuse. “No.”

“Drink, and we’ll give you answers.”

“C’mon, you’ve already transitioned,” Mary argues, “you might as well not dessicate.”

You know she’s right. Angrily, you snatch the bag and drink it down quickly. When you toss the bag back at Nora, she sighs.

“You’re a friend of a friend of ours,” she says vaguely. “He would want you to live. He’d want you to live your life and die naturally, rather than die young and heartbroken.”

“That ‘naturally’ part is no longer happening-”

“-which is not our fault,” Mary snaps, interrupting you.

“Mary,” the other calms, “patience. Yes, when you die, it will no longer be natural, but at least as a vampire, you have a shot at life again. In a sense, maybe, it’s a gift. You can leave if you want to leave. You can go where you want. You’re not bound by human laws or rules. You can be free.”

“I don’t want to be free. I don’t want anything if I can’t-” you stop yourself. “I didn’t ask for this.”

“I know. But someday, you’ll realize life is worth living, and you’ll be glad that you got a second chance. Take it from someone - both of us - who were given one.”

“Easy for you to say, you have each other. I have no one.”

“Maybe we can be someone for you, if you trust us.”

“Yeah, not likely.”

“Give it time, Y/N. We’ll bring you another bag later.”

As she shuts the window, you shout. “You didn’t even answer all my questions!” But they’re gone. The lamp remains on, but you’re left to your thoughts, alone.

<•>

The same cycle repeats for days. Weeks, even. The longer the mystery girls keep you locked up, the angrier you get. They arrive, open the window, practically force you a bag, spew bullshit about how you’ll get better, then leave. Two, sometimes three times a day. No one else ever visits, although one time, they had a third girl - Valerie - join them. She didn’t talk much, but she sure did seem to study you.

That day, after realizing there were more people in the house than just the two of them, you grow restless. Your mind is understimulated and bored. Your heart is broken and sore. You haven’t seen daylight in god knows how long. The next time Nora and Mary Louise come down, you’re ready to pick a fight.

You drink the bag without complaints, then send it flying back through the barred window along with a string of shouts and cuss words. They’ve given you the bare minimum of information, despite promising an explanation, and saving you from death just to lock you in a cellar seems cruel and unfair. They want you to live, yet treat you like a wild animal. They swear they’re protecting you, but you can’t see them as anything but kidnappers.

Nora remains calm throughout your rants, though Mary Louise looks on the verge of tears. It hurts, a little, to see her so upset, but if she could feel the agony you feel day-after-day, maybe she’d understand your pain.

After every last word on your mind is spat out to the girls, Nora gives you a look that you hate. It reads that she sympathizes; she cares, in her own way, but she keeps you confined for your own good. You hate to admit it, but she’s right. If they had even given you a pillow, you’d find a way to hurt yourself. Even if you kill yourself daily just to be unconscious most of the time. Still, you scream at them. How you didn’t ask to live; how you were ready to die; how you can’t live without him, and he’s gone. You think Nora doesn’t understand, but she does. They both do.

She doesn’t tell you she does until you settle. And when you do, she finally tells you all of it.

<•>

“Your silencing spells are weakening with her anger. She’s literally breaking them down, there’s so much pain in her screams,” Valerie tells the girls. “You better get her under control quickly, or Lily will have something to say about it.”

“She’s just facing the worst part of her transition. All the pain is hitting her at once, coupled with the fact that her lover is dead. Give her a break.”

“You shouldn’t have turned her at all, Nora.”

“Well I couldn’t very well let Kai’s girlfriend kill herself out of heartbreak. We owe it to him to save her.”

“Some people don’t want to be saved.”

“She doesn’t want to die,” Nora counters, “she just doesn’t want to live without him.”

“And now she’ll live forever without him.”

“I’m going to help her find happiness in this life. Even if he’s not here, she needs to know life is worth it to hold on and find something that makes you happy again.”

“A heartbroken vampire in love with a murdered sociopath can be a very dangerous thing.”

“So can a previously dessicated heretic still in love with her ex-lover from the eighteen hundreds,” Nora sasses. “She’ll be okay, she just needs time.”

“I bet Mary Louise won’t like you devoting so much time to a girl that’s not her.”

Mary enters the conversation from the kitchen. She leans against the doorframe, a small smirk on her lips. “Mary quite likes the girl, actually. She’s grateful to Kai for feeding us and busting us out of that god-awful prison world, and she knows how much Y/N meant to him. And, she likes seeing her girlfriend put so much effort into healing someone else’s broken heart.”

Valerie rolls her eyes, defeated. “Whatever. Just put up new silencing spells, because the neighbors will start to complain.”

<•>

That afternoon, the girls visit you and prepare themselves for a new string of cuss words. The modern day tongue seems to have many at the ready, and the pair are always surprised to hear the variations you spew at them. Although, when they open the window this time, they’re shocked to find you sitting criss-cross, in the middle of the floor, sobbing heavily. Your hands cover your face, and you seem to neglect to notice their presence. Nora’s heart breaks. In the moment, you remind her of Alice in Wonderland in her sea of tears. She recalls reading that book over a century ago and relating to lost little Alice. Now, she’s transported back in time as she looks at you.

“Y/N?” She asks cautiously. You look up, glance at her, but then dart your eyes back to the ground. “Are you okay?”

“How is life supposed to get better? How do I live after all this tragedy? Where do I go from here?”

“That’s something we’d like to help you find out, if you’d let us.”

“That’s why we turned you,” Mary adds, “so that you could find it, and have friends along the way. We want to help you.”

You raise your head back up to them. “I can’t do it. I’m not strong enough for it.”

“You are perfectly capable of living a life you can be proud of. You just need a little push to get there.”

“And how am I supposed to get there, living in here? In this cellar?”

“This is only temporary. This is for your safety, until you find it in yourself to want to live. ‘Til the desire to hurt yourself is gone, okay?”

“We have another bag for you,” Mary says, tossing it to you.

You drink it unquestioningly, and they prepare for the shouting. This time, however, it never comes. You only nod to the girls, then lie on your back and continue to cry.

<•>

A month after your transition, you finally settle. Most of the anger and tears have subsided, and the boundary and silencing spells hold without wavering. Nora and Mary Louise want nothing more than to tell you their full story, and they think you’re finally ready to hear it.

For the first time ever, you smile at them. “Hi.”

“Hey,” Nora says calmly. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I want to die,” you blurt out, but then sigh. “But okay. A bit numb.”

“You haven’t turned off your humanity, have you?” Mary jokes lightly.

“And be even more bored out of my skull? No.”

“Good. Bag?”

You shrug.

“Can we come in?”

Your eyes narrow at Nora’s request. The question is new to you. Usually, they stay beyond the cellar door. The last time they had come in with you, she force fed you her blood. But despite that memory, you don’t feel threatened by the girls anymore. They give you a strange sense of peace, like you could trust them, for reasons you don’t understand. “Sure,” you reply.

They join you on the ground, the three of you all sitting criss-crossed. Mary hands you the bag, which you accept and drink quietly.

“Y/N…” Nora starts, “we know you have a lot of questions. And while we didn’t want to give you any responses before, we think you’re ready to hear some answers now.”

You pause sipping your bag. “Really?”

“Well the hard part of your transition is over,” Mary says, “we’d really like you to trust us, and we’d like to have trust in you, too, so that we can let you out. But in order for that to happen, we have to know you’ll be safe in the world. No pointy objects, no wood.”

You turn to Nora. “Is that one of the questions you’ll answer? The real reason you want me alive?”

“It is.”

You nod. “I’m listening. And I promise, I’m okay right now. I’m not going to hurt you, or myself, unless I have reason. Truth be told, I don’t really have the mental strength for it.”

Nora nods, too, then, “why?”

“What?”

“Why is it that you don’t have the strength? What’s plaguing you? Why did you attempt to take your own life?”

“I…” your eyes already start to water again, “I can’t live without him. I don’t want to live without him.”

“And who is him?”

“I- I can’t say.”

“Can’t say because you fear our judgment, or can’t say his name out loud?”

“Both, I guess.”

“Might I say it, then?”

“I guess. If you know…”

“Y/N… we know it’s Kai. And we know because his… passing affects us, too.” Hearing his name out loud shatters your heart, but Nora saying she knew him catches your attention. You tilt your head at her. “The reason we were able to siphon you earlier is because we’re like him. We’re heretics.” You straighten. “We were trapped in the 1903 prison world. Kai fed us and let us out. We owe our survival to him.”

“He became a brother to us,” Mary adds, “was a brother to us. We’re all of the same family, with the same rejected gene, although a century apart. Besides each other, we’ve never had anyone understand us, and aside from Lily, no one’s ever cared to listen.”

“But how do you know me? You know,” your voice wavers, his name coming off your tongue weakly, “Kai. How do you know me?”

“Because, silly, he loved you,” Nora rolls her eyes gently, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

Mary nods. “Once he knew we were trustworthy, he talked to us nonstop. Some of it was about the modern world or his own past, but he mostly talked about you. He had the strangest device, a phone, he called it, and would look at pictures of you until it died, and after that, he had one in his wallet.”

“And he’d tell stories. How kind you always were, how he came to trust you, and how you had started a relationship together.”

“The longer he spent there, the more worked up he was getting. He told us about 1994 and what had happened, and that he’d spent eighteen years in another prison world, just to end up in a colder, darker one. I think that’s where the wedding went wrong.”

You agree. “He told me his biggest fear was getting sent to one of those again. Being alone.”

“Not only being alone, but being without you,” Nora says. “We were there, but he still needed you.”

“And although we kept him company, it wasn’t the same.”

“Valerie didn’t help much,” Nora mutters.

“Valerie… the other one? Upstairs?”

“She didn’t approve of his crime to get locked in 1994. She seemed to have forgotten her own childhood, judging his like that. We all grew up similarly. Told we were abominations and cast away.”

You’re about to make a comment on that, but Mary beats you to speaking first,

“You didn’t flinch when I siphoned you.”

“Yeah, um,” you smile, a memory surfacing, “I used to let Kai siphon whenever he wanted.”

“It didn’t hurt?”

“I liked it.” You shrug. “Hurt a little, sometimes. Like a burn, but… I liked the feeling.”

“You say ‘whenever he wanted,’ so like, not only for spells?”

“Sometimes he just wanted to feel magic in his blood. I didn’t use my magic a lot, and knew he had been deprived of it, so regardless if he was performing a spell or not, yes, I’d let him siphon.”

“So…” Nora starts, “you said you didn’t use your magic a lot?”

“Not really.”

“So you won’t be too upset at losing it now that you’re a vampire?”

You give her a playful glare. “I’ll miss it, but I can live without it.” Her face lights up at your choice of words. “What?”

“‘You can live without it’. That’s exactly what I want to hear from you; that you know you can live, despite the tragedy, just like you said you fear.”

“Nora-”

“Sh, sh, sh, let me relish this moment.” Mary giggles at her girlfriend. “You want to fight the war inside your mind. You want to live.”

“I wanted to live with Kai,” you remind. “Alone…”

“You won’t be alone. We know what it’s like to be lonely. We won’t let you feel that way.”

“I just… it’s going to take some time for me to heal. I can’t promise it’ll be easy.”

“We’ve got your back, Y/N. Kai would have wanted you to live. We want that for you, too.”

You nod, still a bit unsure, but now aware that these girls aren’t going to let you out of their sight, so you might as well comply. “Can I stay here, then?”

“In the cellar or upstairs?”

“I don’t know.”

Mary rolls her eyes playfully. “C’mon, we have a room ready for you.”

<•>

Adjusting to your new life is hard. Living without Kai is hard. Living with the heretics, though, is surprisingly easy. They’ve taken you in as one of their own, filling in the void that Kai left, and treating you like family. Valerie is a little weary around you, perhaps wondering how you could love the man that killed his entire family, but Nora and Mary Louise don’t ever let her get far. She, too, deep down, is grateful for the escape that your lover brought them; she doesn’t let her disapproval of his crimes cloud that too much.

Beau is more similar to Valerie than the girls. He’s older than them and Kai, and has never been one to seek revenge, as told to you by Valerie. While Kai had a penchant for violence, and Nora had a heart craving retribution, the other heretics were much more level-headed. They wanted to distance themselves from their family more so than to make them pay. And although Mary Louise was one of these, she strongly supported her girlfriend’s needs, understanding how their coven’s treatment could make them turn cold.

Once awoken in 1903, Nora quickly admires Kai for his actions. Granted, he may have not gone about his revenge in the best way, but he refused to let his father win, and won himself. Nora wasn’t a twin, just a sibling in her particular line, but she had suffered as much isolation as Kai did. For him to break free from his father’s prison world, then complete the merge he was denied and become their leader, it didn’t take much convincing to get her involved in the break-free from 1903 plan. Mary, again, went along with her girlfriend. She was passive but had a similar childhood, and couldn’t help but see Kai as the brother she always wanted. She had one, but wasn’t allowed to speak to him, and so when Kai spoke nonstop to her, she felt adored by him. And it’s true, Kai loved them all like family, because they were.

Despite knowing most of the heretics, you never meet Malcomb, who was killed by Damon while you were still transitioning. Nor have you met Oscar, who is out running vague errands for Lily. Though you remain in the boarding house with the four until tensions start to rise between Lily and her sons.

Lily, rarely at the house, is nonetheless welcoming to you. She offers you a simple condolence when you thank her for giving Kai her blood. She says she wishes things turned out better, and regrets not being able to save his life. In a way, you tell her, she did, but that Damon took him away from both of you. All of you, rather, as Nora strokes your hair as you speak.

The warming party between Mystic Falls’ residents and the heretics is the day your new status as a vampire is revealed. The wistful shock in Damon’s eyes and the concerned delight in Bonnie’s is something you’ll never forget, although by this time, you’re too disheartened by either of them to address it. When Mary Louise whisks you away with a bottle of bourbon, you don’t fight. Enzo sends Bonnie a confused glance that you miss, but neither comment.

<•>

A lot happens in a short time following that night. Jo’s twins are confirmed to be alive with Caroline carrying them, something about which you’re still unsure. Valerie had a rendezvous with Stefan a century ago, and Julian’s confirmed a monster when his atrocious response slips from between her lips. For a moment, Mary Louise is hesitant to trust her, and Nora finds solace with Bonnie, but you, now permanently bonded to the two youngest heretics, pull them back together. Oscar is lost along the way, caught by the Salvatores who had just put down their own mother. Four funerals are held in a mere couple of months: Kai, Malcomb, Oscar, and Lily. One month after that, a fifth is held for Beau.

Caroline’s twins - well, Jo’s, ish - are born, with the help of the heretics. You watch from a distance, concerned way more for Caroline birthing two refusing siphons from her vampire womb, than for the twins themselves. In the end, only Beau is the one to not make it out. A previously estranged vampire hunter released from Alaric’s armory interrupts the introduction of life with a promise of death. Bonnie was the one to let her out, it’s revealed, so it’s only fair that she’s the one to get tangled in the mess and take her down. After that, Enzo and Damon are captured by sirens and made to perform the dirty work of the two ancient beings. Bonnie’s trapped in the middle of it, as is Caroline, and incidentally, as is everyone else in the town. Eventually, what’s left of the old Mystic Falls’ gang manages to rid themselves of the sirens, only to be faced with Cade, the Devil himself.

Though most of these details are blurry to you. Parts of the story are missing, like holes in a blanket. You’ve kept up with the general plot, but lost a lot of the story’s structure along the way.

That’s because seven years ago, right after the twins’ birth and Beau’s funeral, the heretics ran. Valerie escaped to Europe, and you, Nora, and Mary Louise headed south. You didn’t want to get mixed up in the turmoil, especially not with Rayna Cruz, then a vengeful Bonnie, on the loose, so the three of you disappeared with barely a trace. You’re still in contact with Caroline, and Valerie remembers to charge and connect her phone, she still talks to Nora and Mary Louise, but for the most part, you’re set far apart from your old life.

And surprisingly, you’re happy.

Life in the boarding house with the heretics was easy. Living with Nora and Mary Louise is even easier. You’ve taught them to adapt to the modern age, despite their unfamiliarity, but as it turns out, they blend in quite well. You have a thing for take-out; the girls love catching up on all the movies they’ve missed, so many nights are spent as movie nights, eating large amounts of take-out and binging movies all night. Of course, you also rotate cooking. Mary’s the worst. Nora’s the best. You’re in the middle, no talent of your own, for it’s Kai that taught you all you know about it.

Speaking of Kai… over time, you’ve been able to talk more about him. You open up your relationship to the heretics, sharing stories you’ve never told anyone, telling them things that most might consider TMI, but by this point in your friendship, there’s no such thing as secrets. They love it. They love laughing at the funny parts, and crying over sadder ones. They share memories and tragedies from their own pasts, sometimes relating to Kai, but sometimes, also, relating to you.

You share blankets on the couch and straws with drinks. You braid each other’s hair and rotate chores. You dance together in the kitchen, singing along to music both old and modern, with no neighbors to hear how undeniably loud you are. You’re happy.

<•>

It’s been a while since you’ve heard from Caroline, but when you finally do, she sends you a cryptic message that immediately pulls you to your feet.

Caroline: I need a favor. Call me when you get a chance.

Your eyes narrow at the text. Rarely does Caroline text with such seriousness, especially with such a long period of not speaking.

“What is it?” Nora asks, seeing tension on your face.

“Caroline… asking for a favor.”

“You don’t have to go back to Mystic Falls, do you? It’s dangerous there,” Mary worries. Talk of the Devil filled the last phone call you’ve had with the other blonde. Specifically, Kelly Donovan returned for one more dramatic entrance, a bell was rung, and the Devil got out. A second protection spell was put around the house, just in case, after that news.

“I’m not sure. One moment.” You dial her number, and only wait a second before she picks up. “Caroline?”

“Y/N? Hi.”

“Hi. Is everything okay?”

“Yeah. Kind of. I need you to come back to Mystic Falls as soon as possible.”

“Why? What’s wrong?”

“It’s… it’s about the twins.”

You shoot the girls an anxious glance as they overhear the call.

“Is everything okay with them?”

Caroline hesitates. “How soon can you get here?”

“Caroline? Are they okay?”

“Y/N-”

“Overnight. I’ll be there by morning.”

“Okay. Come to the armory.”

You pack a quick bag and hug your friends, then leave immediately.

“Be careful,” they wish you. “Let us know if you need help.”

“I will. I’ll be back shortly.”

<•>

You burst into the armory quite loudly, calling for Caroline. She races to your side a moment later, a finger over her lips.

“What’s wrong? Where’s the twins?”

“The twins are fine. They’re-”

“What?! Caroline, what the fuck?! I drove all night. I-”

“Come with me. Please. And be quiet.”

Still worried, but now a little pissed, you follow her down the narrow, dark hallway to the cells. You’re about to ask more questions, but then you notice a person occupying one of the rooms. “Who-?”

She spins you around by the shoulders, forcing you to look at her. “Take him and go. Wherever you are with the heretics, bring him with you. I can’t let him hurt my girls, but if he’s with you, he’ll stay away from them.”

“Caroline, what-”

“Cade is looking for him, and Stefan and Damon want to send him back in exchange for Elena’s coffin, but I know how much he means to you and if I were in your shoes, I’d intervene, too. Hell, I’ve spent the last three days compelling Stefan’s victims that they’ve been seeing things. We’ve all done questionable things for the people we love, and so I’m telling you to do the same. Get him out of Mystic Falls, now.”

When you turn the corner, Kai Parker is on the other side of the glass. His hand is raised as he siphons the magic from the walls.

“Caroline, will-” he pauses, noticing you. “Y/N?”

Your breath hitches in your throat. “Kai?” You turn to Caroline, searching for answers.

“He escaped when the Maxwell bell rang.”

“That bell rang days ago, you said. He’s been here ever since?”

“Damon told me you were dead,” Kai says. The glass begins to crack under his hand.

“We don’t have time for this,” Caroline interrupts hurriedly, “Y/N, you need to go.” She waves in Kai’s direction. “Break the glass, make it look like you’ve escaped, and get out of here. Just don’t think about coming after my kids, or I’ll make you regret it.”

Kai sets his jaw, then shatters the glass. Caroline blocks the both of you from the shards, and in the next moment, you’re standing face to face with the man you’ve missed for years.

“Hi, princess,” he greets.

You waste no time jumping into his arms, legs around his waist, burying your face in his neck. You cling to him tightly, wrapped in an embrace, until he sets you down gently.

“Caroline,” you start, “thank you.”

She smiles sweetly. “I love you. Now, go!”

“I love you, too. I’ll call you when everything settles.”

“You better.”

You take Kai’s hand and drag him out of the armory. A series of turns leads you to a side exit; an emergency door, but with the sirens already blaring overhead, you’re not worried about it.

“Y/N,” he pauses the moment you get outside.

“My car’s over here, c’mon.”

He doesn’t budge. “But-”

“Kai!”

“You’re a vampire,” he says, clearly confused. “What happened? When’d you turn?”

“What? You don’t think I could look this young seven years later?” You joke, tugging more.

“No! I didn’t mean that-”

“I…” your grip weakens with the look he gives you. “Can we please get in the car? Alaric’s going to notice you’re gone, and-”

“When? When did you turn?”

“After you died,” you confess, face falling to the ground. You can’t look at him; can’t stand to see the sadness on your face.

“How? Did Damon-?”

“No, Damon didn’t do it. I… I couldn’t live without you. It was too hard. I didn’t want to. I tried… someone had other plans.”

“Princess…” his voice trails off as he realizes what you mean. Strong arms reach for yours to pull you into his chest. “You didn’t… oh. Oh my god.” He tilts your head up to face him, but you avoid his eyes. “Who turned you? Dam-”

“Again, not Damon. I, um, can we go? Ric’s gonna come any second, and-”

“Who turned you, Y/N?”

“Nora.”

“Nora? From-”

“1903? Yeah. “

“Is she-? Are the heretics-?” Kai’s interrupted by shouting coming from the armory. You grab his hand once more and drag him to your car. He climbs in the passenger seat without question, and you speed out of Mystic Falls as fast as you can.

Not until you’re fifteen minutes from the armory, do you finally answer the questions swarming his head. You lower your speed to follow the limit, then take a deep breath.

“Nora,” he beats you to it.

“I killed myself,” you confess, “attempted, I guess. She found me, fed me her blood right before I died. She and Mary Louise took me to the boarding house, where they had been staying.”

“Both of them?”

You nod. “I wasn’t an easy project. First I refused to transition, then I refused bags. She had to pin me to the wall to get me to drink; I still fought, and Mary had to siphon me to weaken me enough that Nora could complete the transition. After that, I’d scream and cuss at them for keeping me alive. Nora would give me this cold stare, and Mary would cry, but neither gave up on me. Then, I flipped a complete one-eighty and cried for weeks. Nora said I resembled Alice in Wonderland in her sea of tears.” You chuckle now, but Kai has a feeling you weren’t laughing then. He sure isn’t laughing at all as you retell the story. “But finally, after about a month, I settled. I realized I couldn’t die, and they wouldn’t let me die, and I had to figure out how to live, now, as a vampire. I let them give me bags without a fight, and with time, talked to them.”

“Why did they save you, do you know?”

“That’s something I begged them to tell me for weeks, but they refused to say until I was ready to hear it. They loved you,” you say, stealing a glimpse at him, “like a hero, like a brother. They loved you, and heard so many stories in the prison world about how you loved me, and when Nora found me in the alley, she knew she had to save me because you would’ve wanted me to live. She did it for you. She didn’t want me - your girl - to die ‘young and heartbroken’.” You sniffle, tears forming. “She wanted me to learn to live a life I could be proud of, and she wanted to honor her admiration for you by keeping me here.”

It’s a lot for Kai to take in; he’s quiet for a few minutes. As he thinks, though, his hand creeps towards yours and takes a hold of it. He squeezes gently, then kisses your knuckles.

“The heretics,” he says, “where are they now?”

“Val’s in Europe, traveling. She didn’t want to be near Mystic Falls; turns out she has history with Stefan. Damon and Bonnie killed Malcomb before I could meet him, and Damon and Stefan killed Oscar, also before I met him. Beau was killed by an ancient hunter, whilst protecting the twins after Caroline gave birth to them, and-”

“Mary Louise and Nora?”

“I live with them.”

“What?”

“We have a little house on the border. Just out of Virginia, but barely considered North Carolina. They’re still together; had some bumps in their relationship, but they’re happy now.”

“And you, are you happy?”

“It took me a long time, but I found happiness within myself and from them. So I would consider myself happy, I guess. As weird as it is to say.”

“And me… if I were to join you, would you still be happy, after all these years?”

“What do you mean?”

“You’ve learned to live without me. You’ve found your place in this world, and friends. You’ve built a life for yourself.”

Slowly, you pull over to give him your full attention. Kai watches carefully, curious at what you’ll say. “Not a day has gone by that I haven’t missed you. I think about you every day. I miss the feeling of holding your hand, and hugging you. Kissing you. Hell, I miss the feeling of you siphoning me. No matter how happy I’ve become, there’s always been a piece of me missing. I figured it would always be missing, but as I sit here and look at you, I realize it’s not anymore. I love you, Kai, and I want you in my life, with me. I always have. I’ve learned to live without you, yes, and I’ve found people and things within myself that contribute to my happiness, but I will never be as good as when I’m with you.”

“Y/N…”

“And if your next question is about Nora and Mary, just know that they adore you way more than you might ever know. Nora admires you, and to Mary, you’re the brother she never got to know. They saved my life because they were mourning you, and knew I was, too. We all saved each other, in a way, and we’re all brought together because of you.”

It takes another minute of focused staring to process your words. You follow his line of sight to the steering wheel, but the moment you catch his eye, he stutters a response. “I-I love you. I’ve missed you, too, every day, and the thought of you is what kept me strong when I was in Hell. I need you.”

“You have me.”

“I won’t be easy, either. I can’t promise I won’t have nightmares from all the shit that happened there, but I promise I won’t ever leave you again.”

“I’ll help you through them. It’ll be okay.”

“You sure you want me in your life?”

“I need you just as much as you say you need me. Don’t ever doubt that.”

He nods. “Take me home, then.” He smiles. “Wait, after a kiss first.” Kai moves towards you as you turn twice, once to the wheel, then back to him, and takes your face in his hands. He kisses you with a passion equally sweet and rough, fingers grazing your skin and tangling in your hair. Your own hands find his shoulders, pulling him closer. After a moment, he pulls back, needing to catch his breath after such a long time of not kissing you. “Good? You need any more convincing to keep me around?”

“Shut up,” you joke, lighting hitting his chest. “Convincing? No. But I am gonna need you to make up later for seven years apart.”

“Well that I can certainly do.”

<•>

Four hours later, you pull into the long driveway that is your home. It’s nestled peacefully in the woods, away from most people, yet not so much that anyone will assume it’s abandoned. It’s cute and dainty, with colored tulips in beds in the front, and a red wreath hanging on the door, all compliments of Mary Louise. A bowl of food and water rests on the porch, to which Kai makes a face, and you explain that Nora’s been feeding the stray cats. You, on the other hand, are responsible for the hammock on the wrap-around porch. It provides a perfect spot for reading, or, more often, a place to daydream what life would be like if Kai never left.

Just like this, you’d think, but he’d be beside you, softly kissing your neck.

You don’t knock before entering. However, Kai bumps into the doorway, and you let out a quiet giggle at his confused expression.

“Nora?” You call into the home. “I need you to let somebody in.”

The door is open wide enough that Kai can see into the house, but he can’t see the stairs. Nora trots down the stairs a moment later, asking to whom you could be referring before she sees him for herself.

“Just a friend Caroline wanted me to pick up. Kinda like a stray puppy, actually.”

Mary giggles, half-expecting an actual puppy. But then when Nora comes to the door and her heart begins to race, her girlfriend gets worried. “Nora?” She hurries to stand beside her. “Oh!”

“Kai?” Nora asks gently. It looks like him, but she can never be too sure. She looks to you for confirmation.

You nod. “It’s him.”

“Hi,” he greets, signature smile confirming his own identity.

“Kai,” she says, tone full of relief. She rushes into his arms for a hug he didn’t expect. Nevertheless, he hugs her back just as tightly as she holds him. “Come in,” she invites as soon as letting him go.

Mary gawks as he crosses the threshold. “Can I-?”

He opens his arms again for her to hug him, and the two share their own embrace.

“What happened?” Nora starts, “how’d you-? Where-?”

“As I told Damon, then Caroline told Y/N, I jumped out when the Maxwell bell was rung. Damon tried to keep me hidden from Y/N, but Caroline had other plans. She let Y/N take me as long as I didn’t hurt the twins, to which I’m happy to let those little Gemini gremlins go if it means being with her.”

“And Cade?”

“Caroline called on the way; Cade’s dead. And Kai ate on the way, so he’s feeling better.”

“Earlier I felt like I could still be slipping back into Hell, but Cade’s grip on me weakened, and her blood gave me strength, so I won and got my footing back on Earth. I am officially a live-dead man once again.”

Mary chuckles, but Nora’s attention catches on a word. “Her?” You glance at the ground, a blush rising to your cheeks. Nora smiles. “Not twelve hours, and the lovebirds are sharing blood.”

“Match made in Heaven,” Mary laughs more.

“Completely inseparable,” Nora agrees. “Well, Kai, I hope you’ve made plans to stay, because now that you’re back, we’re never letting you out of our sight again.”

“You want me to stay?”

Nora had turned, but now she whips back around to face him. “What? Of course. Did you and Y/N-”

“We talked in the car! I thought you were okay with staying.”

“But Nora’s the owner of the house, I have to ask her, too!”

“Of course you’re staying, dork!” She’d learned that word the last couple years and always said it fits Kai; now she gets to use it on him. “Now pull up a chair. I know you’re the cook around here, but I made dinner, and it’s pretty good!”

The four of you take to the table where Nora pours bowls of soup. You settle around the chairs like a family separated for too long, but finally joined back together, never to be apart again, and it’s good. Your hands connected with Kai’s underneath the table, and he squeezes. Across from you, the girls’ own hands are held in each other’s. The joy and laughter around the table is something you want to be a part of forever.

#malachai parker x reader #kai parker x reader #tvd fanfiction #tw: sui attempt #light bit of angst #angst with a happy ending #heretic kai parker

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ufoend · 1 year

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∆ please help us

we can not afford any of our basic needs

i usually try to keep this as light as possible, but i have put this off for long enough that i have to post this. me and my partner desperately need help. we are just two gay people trying to make it alone here with absolutely no support system. *remaking because the first post died

who we are: im j (or jet), im 24 year old trans guy whose had this account since 2014. i married my partner in 2018, we even met on tumblr when we were younger, we've been together for years. my partner is disabled (diagnosed with autism and seizure disorder and others)

what we need: basic needs, help with vet care, dental emergency assistance and general support. our cat had an emergency surgery two years ago that means he needs to be on a prescription diet (hills urinary food) for his entire life. the vet suddenly said we need to bring him in again to get his prescription renewed and we cant order any more food for him until then, which he will not survive without, and he is not allowed to eat any alternative food without risking his life. we have less than half of a 8 lb bag of it which will not last him through the next month. with the vet, food, and ubers to get to the vet and to the only place they sell the food = 200

to try to summarize our situation, we were kicked out by family and made officially homeless for the first time last year. this is right after we moved across states (wa to az) to support my partners family upon their request, only to be subjected to abuse and kicked out directly due to homophobia in an unfamiliar state after a few months. this left both of us and all of our animals entirely homeless. we luckily have an apartment now but our situation isnt stable. we lost all of our belongings at this time, everything we had built, and have not been able to replace them as we have very fixed income. my partner is especially affected by this situation, as it was traumatizing, and they have just had to power through trauma after trauma because of poverty, more than i can say.

i also have severe and painful dental problems that are not covered by medicaid in az and i have no way to afford. this includes wisdom teeth, root canals, and many cavities that will turn into that crazy expensive treatment if i don't fix it. some may remember my post about this (+this) showing the work i need. i cant keep ignoring it, because they are worried about two of the cavities becoming root canals, and i want to prevent another infection, but thats at least 250 each i also lost a cap and need to replace it to save the tooth, but that's at least 600.

we are still not going to be able to afford rent in future months because our EBT was delayed last month and i had to spend money we don't have, and without student loan forgiveness, my partner will not have loans anymore so we are in serious jeopardy even affording rent, let alone bills. our pets (2 cats 1 small dog) also desperately need vaccinations, which is dangerous to keep going this overdue without with their health problems. our dog has also been limping for the past week and he needs to be seen when that is ever possible, at least 65 plus ubers.

any donations would go first to the vet appointment and cat food, then the other needs in order of priority. will keep updating this, i know its a lot and i really don't expect anything as i know it's well over 1000 for it all, i am begging for help with any of this.

we are both students, we are trying to work towards stability, while being stuck here. i do everything i can to bring in money to support us on my own. we make 200 less than rent is monthly. i am in school to become a caseworker so i am aware of a lot of resources in my area, and have applied for everything, but we can not do this alone which is why i have to ask for help. i am so sorry for having to do this but i appreciate any support that i do have because of this website. you guys literally save my life. helping out other poor people and getting helped out on here has been the most compassion ive ever been a part of. dollars, even pennies, worth of donations has kept my cat safe, has affected me in real ways. it actually matters to us, no matter the amount.

thank you anyone who reblogs, donates anything at all, or reaches out

p*ypal email (best): [email protected]

v*nmo: @tobler707

c*shapp: $tobler707

#signal boost #please boost #please reblog #reposting because this died out #im so sorry

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lizzie-is-here · 1 year

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bucky barnes oneshot

the white cat

bucky barnes x fem!reader

a late night stop at the animal shelter, a truck, and a dinner date

a/n: not bucky’s cat being named after the place he died 💀 anyway sorry i’ve disappeared i got busy lmao. BUT. i have an idea for a new series based entirely off a winterguard show i was told ab this year by dupont manual so we’ll see if it goes anywhere 👀

the white cat pt. 2

Working at an animal shelter had its benefits.

For all the sad stories you often had, you also got to save pets, watch them get healthier, and most of the time, go to a loving home.

Plus, every so often, a very attractive customer would come in, and, seeing as you are the only employee constantly in the so-called “meeting room” for potential adoptees, you would help them.

Today was one of those days. Or, rather, nights.

Technically, you were closed. Everyone else had left earlier and you’d stayed to clean up. You were sweeping up fur and treats, listening to the radio as you worked.

The man outside the window showed up around 8:56.

Normally, you’d be creeped out. A woman, alone, while a man stared at her through a window? It’s the plot of, like, every Scream movie.

But you recognized this man. He’d been showing up the past few days, not to ogle you, but to ask questions about the cats you had, what he’d need to buy, what kind of care they needed.

You’ve only seen him, never actually talked to him, but he seems sweet. A bit shy, very nervous.

“Hi.” You wave and the man looks behind him before pointing at himself. Laughing, you nod. “Yes, you.”

Setting down a cup of pens, you unlock and open the door for him.

“Sorry about coming in so late. Are you guys even open?” He fiddles with his glove-covered hands, turned a bit awkwardly so his left side is further away.

You shrug, not wanting to scare him off. “We can be. What can I help you with?”

He scratches at the back of his neck before pointing towards the back. “Can I get a cat?” He pauses before barreling on. “I’ve done all the research, got all the stuff set up back at my apartment, and honestly…”

He trails off a bit. “I think it’d help with some… stuff.”

You understand. Plenty of people need company, and you could confidently say that animals provided plenty of that.

“No problem,” you smile. “Come with me.”

Leading him back, you don’t comment on the fact that he makes no noise when he walks, or how a soft, pleasant whirring like quiet machinery has reached your ears.

The meeting room has a few beanbag chairs, a table, and cat and dog toys scattered around. The mystery man sits cross-legged on the floor, looking up at you with eyes that make you think he might be the puppy.

He looks around, a little lost. “So, what do I…”

You pick up where he leaves off. “Are you looking for anything particular?”

He shakes his head, and some of that shyness seems to shake away too.

“No, I trust your judgment.” He smiles. You ignore the warmth in your cheeks and whisk away to the back, looking into the kennels until you find what you’re looking for.

A young cat, only a few months old. Just came in last week. Every time that man has come in, she’s been excited.

“Alpine, sweetie, c’mere.” You gently coax her into your waiting arms, cradling the white fluff as you head back to the room.

It’s impossible to miss how his eyes light up when he sees you, even more so when he spies the cat.

You sit across from him, so close your knees touch, and pass off Alpine.

“She’s so small,” he whispers, almost reverently. You chuckle, watching her climb unceremoniously into his lap.

“She likes you. Been trying to see you all week.” His eyes are still fixated on the little white blob that contrasts his jacket. “Her name’s Alpine, unless you wanna change it?”

He pauses, laughs a bit like there’s some inside joke there, and shakes his head. “No- no, Alpine’s perfect.”

A few minutes later, he’s filling out the paperwork and making small talk when you finally notice his name and age.

James Buchanan Barnes, age 106.

The ex-Winter Soldier. The Howling Commando. The Fallen Sergeant.

He notices you mentally smacking yourself and holds out his right hand.

“Hi, I’m Bucky. Sorry I didn’t say anything earlier,” he chuckles.

You wave a hand. “Don’t worry about it. Sorry if I made you feel weird.”

Bucky shakes his head and readjusts Alpine. Steeling his nerves, he gives you his best smile and finally does the second thing he was hoping to achieve tonight.

“No, no, you didn’t make me feel weird at all. In fact-“ He meets your curious gaze. “-I was wondering if you like to go out sometime?”

You can feel the blush you know he can see, but manage to respond anyway.

“Yeah, I’d really like that, actually.”

Apparently, he isn’t expecting you to say yes so quickly, and pauses for a bit.

“I- Uh, what’s a good time?”

You gesture around. “I get off work tomorrow at 7:30?”

“I’ll be here.”

The two of you enjoy the moment, Alpine purring softly in Bucky’s arms. It’s perfect.

Until a car horn honks from outside. Heading out, you see a truck with three other people in it.

Three other Avengers, to be exact.

“Thought you’d never be done!” Sam Wilson jokes from the driver’s seat. From the passenger’s, Natasha Romanoff waves while Steve Rogers opens the back door for the soldier next to you.

Bucky rolls his eyes.

“I’m sorry, they’re being stupid,” he grumbles. “But, I’ve only got a motorcycle, so I needed some help.”

“It’s cute that they came along,” you say. “Still on for tomorrow?”

He laughs and gestures to the truck. “If those heathens haven’t scared you away, then yes. Absolutely.”

“I’ll see you then?”

“See you then, doll.”

#marvel #marvel x reader #x reader #avengers #avengers x reader #bucky barnes #bucky fanfic #bucky #bucky x reader #bucky fluff #bucky imagine #bucky barnes x fem!reader #bucky barnes x reader #alpine #give bucky his cat

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horseshoegirl · 1 year

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Damn Those Dog Tags: Part 6 - Three Little Birds

📜 just a PSA for you all that I love each and everyone one of you, and I’m so grateful this group of people bring each other up online then bring them down (for context, I had a bad experience with a social media post this past week (never again am I sharing videos of me riding)... the equestrian community can be so ruthless🤦🏻‍♀️) So I’m happy I can come here and feel supported.

I apologize in advance for a sad Sadie in this one. We also have a little bit of a time jump in this one!

❗️18+, strong language, angst, godmother reader/original female character, deployments, and a Sad Sadie (She needs her own warning).

#5.9k Words

Part 5 | Masterlist | Part 7

You wish you could say you weren’t expecting it to happen. That the routine of their 8 to 4 day didn’t lull you into a false sense of security. That the Saturday nights and dinners and time spent together would last forever.

But that was the deal when your friends were in the Navy. Time was a luxury only a few could afford.

And your time with them was past due.

This Saturday night was designated game night. On game nights, Sadie would rummage through the few shelves on your bookcase you set aside for games, puzzles, books and other activities to find a selection of games she thought the others would like.

You would make finger foods, and your kitchen island would be littered with big plates and trays so everyone could come and go as they pleased. Sadie would go looking for your Cards Against Humanity set, despite hiding it in a very unreachable place, and you’d race from the kitchen to snatch it out of her hands, always telling her she could play it when she was older. She’d wait for a second, then say, “Okay, I’m older.”

You'd laugh at her, and she would laugh back. Only this time, your doorbell rang.

You froze. You always left your front door open when you knew to expect them. They knew they could walk right in and make themselves at home.

Walking to the front door, you became nervous, weakly clutching the handle as you twisted, pulling it back to reveal the entire team lined up side by side, standing together on your porch. All of them together, minus Mav? It took only one look for you to know.

They had been called up.

“When?” you gasped.

“Tomorrow night,” Phoenix replied sadly. “For at least three months.”

Something sharp pierced the centre of your chest, your ears boxed, and your throat closed shut, taking you back to that Friday night at the Hard Deck with the phone call. You barely acknowledged the pain in your forearm, where you had reached up to grip it tight, fingernails biting into your skin. Your heart, thumping hard, now aching for your friends and the unbearable weight Sadie would have to carry.

If only you had had this talk with her sooner. Ridley never made it home to her that Friday night. And now she had to shoulder the knowledge her newfound family could be taken away at any moment, the difference being it was an expectation for a possible someday, not the outcome of a random accident.

You couldn’t help but crumble into the door frame, your head falling to the wood as the first sob worked its way up your throat. Nat immediately took you into her arms, hugging you tight. You wrapped your arms around her, weight sagging into her, as you realized you’d now have to learn how to cope without your friends being there for you and Sadie.

“Sadie,” you gasped into her shoulder. “How am I going to tell her?”

Nat pulled back, grabbing your cheeks. “We can do it together. She’s a lot stronger than we give her credit for.”

You huffed a laugh through your tears, Nat pressing her forehead to yours in an effort to give you the strength to ground yourself. You hated when people saw you cry.

Tearing yourself away from her, you looked to Bob, who had moved beside you. “Sadie’s going to be okay. She has you.”

Jake opened his mouth to say something but paused, mouth agape, when a voice called out from behind you.

“Aunt Liz? What’s going on?”

You stiffened, tearing yourself away from Jake’s gaze as you turned to face Sadie, wiping at your face.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, coming to stand in the open door frame.

“Bug, we need to have a chat,” your voice wavering as you spoke.

“What do you mean?” she looked from Nat, Bradley, and Jake to the rest of the team standing on your porch.

You reached out your hand, stepping forward to meet her with a sad smile. She stared up at you as she let you lead her back inside, leaving the front door open for the other to follow and taking her over into your family room.

Bradley was right on your heels, sitting beside Sadie once she settled on the couch, taking her free hand into his. Nat also followed, resting her elbows on the back cushion behind Sadie while Jake leaned against the wall, arms crossed and glancing intently between the pair of you. The others decided to hang back, letting you have your space to tell her.

“You know how the Daggers are in the Navy, right?”

Her voice was small as she replied, “Yeah?”

“Well, they need to go away for a little while. They need to go and help protect some people.”

“Okay?” she said softly.

“The thing is, Bug,” you paused, tucking a piece of her hair back behind her ear, “There’s a chance some of them might not make it back.”

She reeled back, eyes so childlike and innocent. “What do you mean?”

Feeling a tear run down your cheek, you couldn’t begin to form the words to explain that this might be the last time she saw her aunt and uncles. Just like her mom, you didn’t want to explain that this particular Saturday night might be the last chance she could spend with them.

It took her a minute, but you could see the realization on her face, your silence and tears filling in for what you couldn’t say. Her mouth dropped slightly, and her eyes started to relax from concentration. What followed was the understanding, her brow furrowing, nose scrunching up.

Then came the grief.

“No,” She cried out, bottom lip starting to quiver. “No!”

She turned to Nat, who smiled sadly at her as she started to sob. Rooster hooked his arm around her stomach, pulling her back into him. Sadie turned in his hold and buried her face in his chest. Bradley dropped his forehead to her shoulder as she cried.

"I'm so sorry, Bug."

When it came to things like this, Ridley and you decided early on you’d never sugarcoat things with Sadie. Like when you moved out when you went to school, telling her at five years old you wouldn’t be living with them anymore, but you’d be a visit, a phone call, a drive away from her. She had been upset, but she had accepted it.

Would it have been easier on her if you did sugar coat it?

She didn’t want to let Rooster go, even as Nat reached down to rub her back. Sadie openly wept, and you couldn’t do anything but sit back and watch her crumble. Looking up, Jake was still up against the wall. Only his head was bowed, eyes closed, tensing his body every time Sadie’s escalating cries filled the room.

It was intense, everyone trying to get through the game, eat dinner, and forget what would happen tomorrow.

Sadie tried her best, but even as she sat beside Rooster, she didn’t want to let go of his arm, leaning right into his body as she played the game. Bradley humoured her. If he was uncomfortable, he didn’t let on.

Bob accidentally knocked over his deck of cards onto the floor, causing everyone to laugh harder than they should. You took the moment to excuse yourself, disappearing to collect dishes and retreat into the kitchen while everyone was distracted trying to find his cards.

Plugging the drain, you turned on the tap, squirting soap into the sink, watching the dishes submerge under the rising water, gripping the edges of your counter hard until your nails hurt with the force.

It was how you were feeling. Like the world wanted to drown you with things beyond your control, and you couldn’t stay afloat. Your friends were your saving grace, next to Sadie, and now, you found yourself wondering what you might do without one of them.

“She’ll be okay, Liz.”

"I feel guilty, crying like this when you guys are going off saving the world, risking your lives.”

Jake came up behind you, placing a hand on your back. “Because you’re worried about her?”

“It’s not just her I’m worried about Jake,” you sniffed, wiping at your eyes. “God, I feel selfish.”

“Oh, is someone concerned for little old me?”

“Yes,” you exhaled. “Especially you. I’m afraid you're going to do something stupid in the air.”

“Best of the best, Liz," he reminded you. "Or aren't you forgetting who we are?"

“That’s what I’m afraid of.” You said, stepping forward to turn off the tap before turning back to face him, his green eyes wide.

“You have nothing to prove to no one, Jake. Please remember that when you are up there.”

Jake stared at you for a minute before stepping forward, grabbing your arms below your elbows to pull you to stand in front of him. You let him, too numb to protest or to react.

“The both of you are going to be alright, Liz. You're going to wake up tomorrow and carry on your day like you always do. And the day after that and the day after that. You don’t need to worry about us.”

You sniffed. "I always worry about you guys."

“This isn’t anything we haven’t already done before. And I can’t say for the others, but when I get back, you, the bug, and I are going to celebrate.”

“I didn’t scare you off?” you huffed with a smile. He scoffed, “As if.”

He watched as you shook your head, eyes downcast as you bit your lip. “Come here,” he said, pulling you into his chest, the palms of your hands coming to rest behind his shoulders and your head resting sideways on his chest. You could hear Jake’s heartbeat steadily thumping away beneath his shirt.

It did more for you than any kind words or long hug could have.

“We’ll be back to annoying you on Saturday nights and back at the bar before you know it.” He said, his voice low and his hand flexing on your back.

Despite everything you were feeling, you believed him.

The night carried on, and Sadie didn’t want to go to bed before they left. You didn’t blame her, watching as she held her sides, fighting sleep while sitting on your front porch step, only lit by the two lights on either side of your front door.

Rooster kneeled down in front of her, a hand on her shoulder, “We’ll be back before you know it, Bug.”

Natasha followed, lowering herself down next to Bradley. “You need to make sure your Aunt doesn’t burn down the house.”

Although she was sad, Sadie cracked a smile at Nat’s words. She glanced between the two of them before launching herself off the step, throwing herself between Nat and Bradley to hug them at the same time.

“I love you guys,” she said, bowing her head. Nat and Rooster pulled her closer, wrapping their arms around her to grip each other's forearms.

“We love you too, Bug,” Nat replied.

Sadie made her rounds, saying goodbye to everyone. When she made it to Jake, he kneeled down in front of her, opening his arms as she threw herself at him. He whispered something in her ear. Sadie nodded before burying her head into the crook of his neck.

You would have observed them longer had not Bob and Coyote approached you, hauling you into their embrace and reminding you to take care of yourself. As did Fanboy and Payback, who followed not long after.

Bradley had pressed a kiss to the side of your head, an arm wrapped around your shoulders, holding you close for probably what felt like minutes. Nat butted him out with her hip to tackle you into a hug, making you promise when she came home, you’d go out for drinks.

Then came Jake, standing in front of you with an apprehensive smile.

You couldn’t stop yourself, hot tears streaming down your face as you reached up to wrap your arms around his neck, pressing your face into his shoulder. Jake froze for half a second before his arms wrapped tightly around your waist.

The Daggers didn’t seem to mind the close goodbye. Maybe they were too occupied by Sadie. Or perhaps they recognized your need to say goodbye to everyone, even Jake, given your history.

“Be safe, Jake,” You whispered into his shirt. Jake squeezed you tight before pulling back, still in his arms, as he looked down at you. He stared at you for a few seconds before leaning forward and pressing his lips to your forehead, humming against your skin.

“See you soon, darlin’.”

___

Despite the long-lasting promise you and Sadie made when Ridley passed away to be there for each other, neither of you caved in the months after. However, with their absence, it went unsaid that promise would extend toward the Daggers.

It had been three weeks since they left on deployment, and Sadie had caved.

It was the same routine. She’d wake up, pick at her breakfast with red eyes, get dressed and stay silent on the way to school. When you could pick her up, she wouldn’t run to greet you at the end of the day. On weekends, she stayed quiet, barely saying a word. And the minute she finished her homework after dinner (math homework returning to being troublesome), she’d retreat to her room for the rest of the night.

She was back to the shell of the person she had been before Phoenix and Rooster inserted themselves into your lives. And even as you tried to help her, she never allowed you to see her cry. She was putting up a front and wouldn’t let you help her.

You knocked on her bedroom door. “Bug, can you please come out?”

“No,” came a muffled reply.

“Sadie Bug, please. I miss them too.”

“They won’t come back.”

“You don’t know that.”

Halloween was worse. It was probably one of the last few times she would have wanted to go out before she deemed it too childish. Instead, she curled up on the other side of the couch, watching Halloween movies as you answered the door, not even saying a word.

“Can you please come into the family room? So we can be there for each other? Maybe we could put vinyl on?”

You were met with complete silence.

“Okay,” you relented, hugging yourself. “I’ll be out here if you change your mind.”

Stepping away from her door, you treated down the hallway to your kitchen, making yourself a cup of tea before curling up under a blanket on the couch. You pressed yourself into the back cushion, cradling the steaming cup to your chest as if it would fix the pang in your chest.

You looked around. The family room table was littered with Sadie’s math homework, you staying up late at night to try and figure it out for her. If Jake were here, he’d be able to help her, you would think every time you got frustrated.

Jake.

In the few weeks he had been gone, you found yourself thinking about him at the most random of times. Making your coffee in the morning. Working at the Hard Deck, passing by the dartboard or the pool table. You had known him less than a month before he was called off, yet you felt his absence the strongest.

Sadie missed him too. And that had to count for something.

You saw her, out of the corner of your eye, half hidden behind the wall. You gave her a soft smile, lifting the edge of your blanket as an invitation. She didn’t hesitate, quickly walking forward and diving under the blanket. She curled herself into your side, legs hooked over yours, head buried into your neck as you covered her, snuggling her in tight.

Whether she was done putting up a front or the comfort was too much, Sadie started to cry in front of you for the first time since they left.

Pressing a kiss to her forehead, you said, “Your aunt and uncles are the best. I know for a fact they will do anything to make sure they can come home.”

“I want them to come home,” she whimpered into your chest. “I don’t want to lose them, like Mom.”

“You know what she’d say if she were here?”

Sadie sniffed. “She’d tell us we don’t need them.”

You snorted. “Well, besides that.”

She shook her head. Tugging her close, you replied, “She’d say we would have to keep moving forward, doing things because they can’t. I think Aunt Nat would want that for us too.”

Sadie dropped her head to your shoulder. As you threaded your fingers through her hair, an idea popped into your head, a result of the conversation you had with Penny the week prior.

“How about this?” you said, pulling back to look down at her face, wiping away a stray tear. “Aunt Penny was going to send Uncle Mav a care package. How about we see if we can send something to the Daggers? A letter? Polaroids?”

She bit her lip, contemplating what you said. “I bet Uncle Bob would want to see some of the bugs you’ve seen,” you encouraged her.

Her next words were like a punch to your gut.

“Can we send one to Uncle Jake too?”

Uncle Jake. Not Hangman, Not Jake. Uncle Jake.

It was only natural Sadie would start calling him that. Oh, Rooster and Phoenix wouldn’t be happy about this. Yet, there was a part of you that was secretly pleased Sadie had, in her own way, officially accepted Jake into the group.

He deserves a chance, right? To know people care about him?

“Why wouldn’t we send one to Uncle Jake?”

That’s how you found yourself sitting with Sadie at your kitchen table, sheets of lined paper and copious amounts of her polaroids in front of the two of you a few weeks later. She had separated a few into piles, each designated for a Dagger, with envelopes neatly labelled with call signs, all organized beside each other.

You wrote letters to each, filling them in about Sadie and placing them next to her letters on the table when you were done. Mav’s mostly included updates about Penny and Amelia, knowing he’d like to hear it from somebody else to confirm things were okay.

But when it came to Jake’s, you drew a blank. You attempted to write ‘Jake’ on the first line of several pieces of paper, trying to form that first sentence, only to get frustrated and crumple the page in your hand.

“Do you like him?” Sadie teased, grinning at your efforts.

“What?” you stuttered, looking up at her. “No, I just don’t know what to write.”

“You had no problems with the others,” she replied, spreading a group of photos in her hand like a deck of cards.

“Cause I knew what to say.”

“And you don’t know what to say to Uncle Jake?”

While you were glad to see her mood was improving, you could do without the teasing.

“It's different. He’s new to the group.”

“Yeah, he’s different,” she giggled before returning to sort through the photos in her hand. Scanning through the polaroids, Sadie spied one she had forgotten she had taken.

Something at that moment clicked in her head, her mom’s voice forming the idea from memories of overheard phone call conversations and teasing remarks while she glanced up to make sure you weren’t watching her - you attempting to start Uncle Jake’s letter once again. Picking the photo from the group, she slid it under the others in the pile before you could glance back up.

“What are you sending him?”

“Just some photos of the hike.”

“Oh, can I see them?” you asked, extending your hand to grab the photos she had put in his pile.

Sadie was quicker, reaching out and snatching them right from under your hand. She threw her hand with the photos above her head while reaching for the smaller blue envelope with Jake’s call sign with her other. She quickly pulled everything into her lap so you couldn’t see her, placing the collection of polaroids inside and hurriedly bringing the waxed edges to her lips, sealing it tight.

Her answer was final as she glared at you.

“Nope.”

____

You had no idea how Penny swung it, but with her being an Admiral’s daughter, you figured she still had some sway.

Were video chats a thing in the Navy? You had no idea, but she had come bursting through the Hard Deck doors one day while you were working, wanting your email address. When you asked her why, she replied, “Well, don’t want to talk with them?”

When would you never say no?

Sadie could not shut up about getting her own screen time with each of them, however, spread out they were. Almost bi-weekly, she was on a video chat with a Dagger. Of course, Rooster was first, followed by Natasha, Bob, Coyote, Fanboy and Payback. She even got some time with Maverick. And Jake, who still helped her with her Math homework, from god knows where, probably on the other side of the Earth.

You had to pick. While Sadie had special circumstances from Cyclone (She could hook anyone around her finger, even stone-cold Cyclone), you could only choose three.

So here you were, sitting at your desk on a cold afternoon, fiddling with the knick-knacks on your desk or organizing your pens as you glanced up every so often to find the spinning ball of death running on an endless loop on your computer.

That was until you heard his voice.

“Hey, darlin'”

The first thing you noticed about Jake when you looked up at your screen, even with his trademark smirk, was how drained he looked. Jake had dark circles encasing his eyes, his shoulders slouched, and while you found yourself admiring the cocky smile, it was a tired one.

“Oh, Jake, are you okay?”

He shook his head. “They have us alternating on early morning runs.”

You grimaced. “Rooster and Phoenix said you guys are going up a lot. More so than usual.”

“There’s a lot going on here.” You knew he couldn’t say much more on the subject, yet you still wanted to know how he was doing.

“Have you had a chance to talk to your family?” His face tensed up at your words, his eyes casing downwards before he managed a reply of, “Just my sister and her husband.”

You frowned. You knew he was speaking about Janet. When Jake told you he had an older brother and a younger sister, you thought maybe he had a somewhat supportive family. But now, it didn’t sit right with you they didn’t want to speak with him, let alone his own mother, while he was away on an active assignment.

You’d expect nothing less from his father.

“When was the last time you spoke with her?”

“Not since I went for a visit. She’s expecting her first kid in a few months.”

You were genuinely happy for him. “Jake, that’s amazing. You’re going to be an uncle.”

He didn’t look at you as he spoke, “Slightly worried about what this kid will be born into. If I’ll be good enough for them.”

You couldn't help but empathize with him. It was the same reaction you felt when Ridley asked you to be Sadie's godmother.

"If it's worth anything, you're great with Sadie. This child is so lucky to have you looking out for them."

While Jake gave you a soft smile, he didn’t reply, staring down at his lap for a few seconds before looking up and beyond the camera. You could tell he was getting lost in his own head, worrying about the future. The look on his face was one you caught yourself making in the mirror most mornings while thinking about Sadie.

Suddenly, he sighed, looking back at the screen. “For once, I’m going to say enough about me.”

You giggled at him. “Hangman not wanting to talk about himself, what is the world coming to?!”

He smiled at you. “How is the bug?”

“She’s not happy you guys won’t be home for Christmas,” you told him. “But better.”

“I got your letters. And her polaroids. What was she doing around an F-14?”

You had taken Sadie to the nearby Warplane museum in an attempt to make up for her missing her aunt and uncles, hoping it might bring her closer to them. An out-of-commission F-14 had been on display, and Sadie just had to get her picture taken in front of it. She had put herself somewhat out of the frame of the camera, leaning into the shot while holding up a peace sign and sticking her tongue out with a cheeky grin.

It was one of the first photos she had put into the pile, insistent it went to Jake. You managed to catch her writing on the back, ‘Come home soon.’

“She really wanted to send you that one,” you laughed. “We went to the warplane museum, thinking it might bring her closer to you guys.”

“The both of you need to come with me next time. Get the full experience, history, you name it.”

You couldn’t help the slow grin, your eyes widening as you exclaimed, “I knew it! Jake Seresin, you are a geek about planes!”

You watched as he leaned closer to his camera, eyebrow raised. “And here I recall somebody saying everyone was passionate about something? Flying is practically my personality?”

“Yeah, but not the tall, good-looking Naval officer who was probably a frat boy in school geeking out over planes.”

He didn’t hesitate. “So you think I’m good-looking?”

“I said good-looking, not handsome,” you shot back. “Your ego couldn’t handle it.”

“You called me handsome before.”

“I was being rhetorical, you were trying to get into my pants, calling me the ‘most beautiful girl in the bar.’” you teased him.

“I wasn’t lying.”

It took you a few seconds to register what he said. His tone was serious, leaving no room for you to come up with a witty comeback, some smart retort without sounding down on yourself. You had called him a liar then. You certainly couldn’t call him one now.

You didn’t think you were, maybe average and plain. A person who liked cozy sweaters and fuzzy socks. Who’d rather spend time curled up with a book than spend free nights out having a social life, going to a bar or partying with friends.

Everything you assumed was not Jake’s type.

Ridley would know what to say in situations like this, you thought, what to make of him telling you something like this from the other side of the world through a computer.

“What else did she send you?” you asked, changing the subject. “She didn’t let me see.”

He shrugged. “Just a few she had taken from the hike. There’s one of her and I from the picnic. I have it in my locker.”

“You mean when you stole her Sour Keys.”

There was no shame in his grin. “So worth it.”

You snickered, Jake joining you. The conversation had its natural pause, and the silence wasn’t awkward. Looking at Jake through a screen, you felt like you had permission to stare at him. Whether it was time apart, the distance, or longing. Or the fact you told Jake something so private about yourself, and he didn’t go running.

It was easier to allow yourself this moment, to entertain the possibility that maybe there was something more than the friendship you were trying to build with him before the reality set in, and you reminded yourself just why Jake was so far out of your league. Why you were just imagining things that weren’t really there.

But looking at his face, his eyes uneasy, you knew what he would ask next.

“Any news with the review?”

You shook your head, eyes fixing on your keyboard. “I called. They said maybe after the holidays.”

“Liz, it's going to be fine.”

“You don’t know that, Jake,” you said quietly, looking back up at the screen. “I still don’t know who put in the request. I haven’t been able to figure it out. Even if everything turns out fine, what’s not to say something else is going to happen?”

He paused. “Would it make you feel better if you knew?”

“Obviously, but the list is either short or non-existent.”

“Then we will figure out who when we come home.”

“Jake, you don’t...”

He interrupted you, his tone firm. “It’s Sadie.”

He was right. It was about Sadie. It was her future, knowing whether she’d be safe with you or without. You needed to know what, or who, you were dealing with.

“Okay,” you finally said. “If you don’t mind.”

He shook his head, then grinned. “Besides, the three of us have some celebrating to do when we get back.”

You couldn’t help yourself, “Just the three of us?”

His eyes lit up. “If that’s what you want.”

There weren't many opportunities in your life for you to say 'Fuck it' every once in a while. Ridley told you to fuck it when she submitted your college applications and told you to move to San Diego. When the both of you decided enough was enough and move halfway across the country to escape your lives in the aftermath of your mother passing away.

But Sadie's words rang harder than any warning the Daggers, or Penny, could have given you. Jake did deserve people in his life who cared about him. He deserved a family that cared. And the fact Rooster, Nat, and even a small part of Coyote at Sadie's soccer game that day couldn't even recognize that... it filled you with anger.

Ridley's voice was in your head, screaming Jake needs you, Lizzie. Fuck what they think.

If some of his team couldn't do that for him, if his own family couldn't, you and Sadie would.

"I do." and then, "You might have a surprise from Sadie when you get back. We miss you."

There was a shout from somewhere in the background, Interrupting Jake, causing him to turn towards the noise before looking back down at the screen, “I gotta go, darlin.”

It was true you, you did miss him. And yet, while you were grateful for the minutes you got to speak with him, you still were left feeling like it wasn’t enough.

“Be safe, Jake. Come home.”

You caught Coyote’s voice just before the video cut off, not thinking much of it.

“Yo, did you tell her about the photo in your cockpit?!”

----

It was a few weeks after your call with Jake you found the courage to start looking through some of Ridley’s things. You had no idea where it came from. The storage locker hadn’t been touched since you brought Sadie home - Rooster, Phoenix, and yourself having played a game of Tetris to shove everything in.

You always had some excuse for not going through it. You were too tired. Other things took priority. You’d do it tomorrow. There wasn’t enough time.

Really you should have called it for what it was.

You simply weren’t ready.

But with Sadie’s first Christmas without Ridley only a few weeks away, you needed to buck up and open that door. If not for you, for Sadie’s sake.

You asked Alyssa to join you one day while Sadie and Will were at school. She was more than happy to provide the support, knowing how hard it was for you. Even as she followed you down the rows of lockers, the layout making you feel like you were in a prison cell, awaiting your sentence at the end of the hall, she was a welcome reminder you could do this.

But you hesitated when you reached that yellow door, big bright numbers taunting you from their perch above.

“You don’t have to do this,” Alyssa placed a hand on your shoulder.

You shook your head. “Yes, I do. It’s time, even if it's something small.”

Oh, you wished you could take those words back the moment you saw everything. It was overwhelming to reach the bottom of the roll-up door and pull it up, revealing the numerous boxes and garbage bags of your sister and Sadie’s things. It even smelled like her in there, the small traces of her floral perfume hitting your nose, making your stomach turn.

There in the back corner, you spied a box labelled ‘Sadie X-mas”. You zoned in on it like it was a lighthouse in a storm. Just the Christmas decorations, you thought, then you could get out of here and go home.

But another box was stacked on top of it, way higher than it should have been, with various folders hanging precariously out of it. It wouldn’t be easy to get it out.

You stepped between two boxes, weaving your way to the back of the locker. Something sharp caught on the laces of your shoe, yelping as you twisted backwards onto a garbage bag of clothing, arm flinging sideways, knocking the tower of boxes over.

Alyssa shouted your name, charging forward to get to you in a last-ditch effort. Bracing yourself, you covered your head with your arms as boxes toppled into you. It hurt, sharp corners and heavy objects hitting your stomach and arms in such a way you knew you’d bruise.

Pushing boxes away, you could see her standing over you, pulling at loose objects that were pinning down your hips. The tension in her shoulders relaxed when she realized you were okay.

“God, you weren’t kidding when you said you were a klutz,” she huffed.

You rolled your eyes, holding out your hand. “A little bit of help, please?”

Alyssa pulled you up somewhat dangerously, your foot slipping on a piece of paper as you regained your balance.

The contents of the boxes were scattered across the storage locker, mostly papers and random notes. You’d sooner leave than start the process of cleaning them up while having to rifle through the spaces between the boxes. But Alyssa was already making the effort, gathering whatever was closest to her and placing them in the overturned box nearby.

Groaning, you forced yourself to collect what you could, only searching for specs of white in your peripheral vision, not the words on said boxes or stopping to consider what might be in them. You were almost done, spying two more pieces of paper lying on top of another garbage bag shoved into the corner.

Then Alyssa gasped.

You looked up to see her holding a piece of paper from a notebook in both of her hands. The page looked like it had been folded over in such a way it appeared to be a letter.

“Lyssa? What’s wrong?”

Wide-eyed, she looked up, holding it out to you. “You need to read this. Seriously.”

You reached out timidly, taking the paper from her as your eyes skimmed the page. You recognized the handwriting, though you couldn’t place where. The date in the upper corner was marked a few weeks before Ridley died, and you thought you saw Sadie’s name mentioned a few times, though it was difficult to make out.

But as soon as you reached the bottom of the page, you shrieked, jolting and throwing the paper out of your hands.

There, signed clear as day…

Let me know.

Tyler.

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Part 7 - Oh What a Night Coming Soon