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#jason todd crack
fcthots · 6 months
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ive had a revelation.
Jason Todd is called "Jaybean" by y/n in front of the batboys who have no idea jay even has a WIFE (let alone someone who he isnt dangerously annoyed by) and everyone goes fucking nuts (in a cute way)
(also can I have an anon emoji bc i'm planning to be here quite a bit i'm so sorry your writing and the brainrot is just too good TvT)
I hereby name you 🧶 anon bc I clicked it on accident so it was meant to be
It's not your fault he wasn't responding to you. You just figured he was ignoring you or something, so you texted him...several times.
You: Hey do you want batburger for dinner bc if the answer is yes, I need to leave to go get it now
You: Jay
You: Babe
You: I will drive all the way there to get just my order out of spite
You: Baby
You: Ok it's been like ten minutes, I really need to know
You: Red
You: Jason
You: Answer your phone
You: It's been like 25 minutes. I don't care about the food. Are you ok?
You: Ok you're starting to freak me out now, you were supposed to be back like 15 minutes ago
You: Jason, sweetheart
You: Love
You: Shnookums
You: Pookie
You: Jaybean?
You: Jason Peter Todd if you don't pick up the phone, I will divorce you
Your phone starts ringing. It's Jason. Something feels...off. A phone call?
You ignore your questions and pick up the phone. "WHERE IN THE EVER-LOVING FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN?"
"Oh" That was not your husbands voice. What the fuck?
"um.. hello?"
"Who is this?"
"This is-... Wait. You're the one with my husband's phone. Who is THIS?"
"Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. HUSBAND?"
"Who the fuck is this? Where is Jason?"
The man on the other end of the phone starts laughing. He's whispering the several other people. It lasts far longer than it should. "Um. This his brother, Dick."
"Hey, fuck you, asshole. You're the one with Jason's phone. Don't call me a dick-."
"That's my name. Dick is my name."
"...Oh"
"Jason is uhhh asleep right now. Yeah. He's... He was really tired. He's taking a nap."
"A nap? Can you wake him up?"
"...no"
"no?"
"..."
"Did he get his shit rocked by Croc again?"
"WHAT"
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spidernuggets · 25 days
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I'm really sorry to even ask for such a thing 🤣 but I just find it hilarious how disgusted they would be, I feel like it may even cause the freeze response that some people get in panic or danger situations but may I request the titans-especially Jason's- reaction to their friend and fellow titan (y/n) getting really drunk or truth serumed or something and saying that she thinks the Joker is kinda hot y'know if it weren't for the clown gimmick and all the terrorism
nearly every version is at least a little bit pretty even the animated ones lol looking at you btas and it does not help that he's voiced by marky mark, like how am I in love with a drawing 🤣🙃
Jason's Reaction to Reader Calling the Joker Hot.
You and Jason were out in a club, celebrating a victorious night after locking up a shit load of criminals.
You were having the time of your life, along with one shot, two shots, three shots, four. Usually, you had a good alcohol intake. You and Jason were known to be able to take plenty of drinks before needing to hurl.
But tonight, you were biting off more than you could chew.
You were at the bar, asking the bartender for another drink.
"Another one, babe? You're worse than me," Jason laughs, ordering the same thing you did.
"Not worse," was all you were able to mutter.
"You know..." You began to laugh, covering your flushed face with your hands, taking a couple of breaths before laughing again.
"Know what, mama?" He asks, curious, taking yours and his drink from the bartender, keeping it safe until you're ready for it.
"Not gonna lie... uhhh," you tried to think, rubbing your temples with your index fingers. "You.. you know uhhh Joke man.. The.. The Joker." Jason hums in response. "Low.. lowkey. LOWkey, Jay... Joker issss...uhmm... You know if you would take off the clown makeup.. anddd.. If he wasn't a.. a uhm.. homicidal maniac.. he lowkey kinda.."
Jason's face scrunches up. He drinks both of your drinks, and you whine in disappointment. "Jay!! I was gunna..mm drink that," and you start to cry.
"Nope, nope, nope. We're going back to the tower. You're definitely over your drink limit." He says, for once, being responsible.
"Why!! I'm not even feelin' sick yet," you pouted.
He scoffed, putting your arm over his shoulder as he supported you up, walking to the exit. "You basically just said the Joker was hot. That IS feeling sick."
"Ooooh, maybe you just jealous, Jason Wason," you puckered your lips close to his ear. "Is okay..mmm.. You're hotter, aha," you giggled, throwing your head back while laughing.
"Yeah, yeah, sure, say that to me when you're sober, babe."
POV, you're jason:
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also, soz i only did jason 😪😪 idrk how to write for anyone else 💀💀
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deepdisireslonging · 2 years
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ABC’s of Jason Todd: Z
I’ll put this all into one masterlist as the list comes together. Let me know how you like it with comments, reblogs, and likes!
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Z: Zippidee-do-da (Jason’s Phrases)
Dick was the Robin with the old-fashioned quips. They drove Bruce crazy when the tiny acrobat wouldn’t stop coming up with new ones. Occasionally, at unofficial family dinners and rooftop meetings, Dick would let one fly and the rest of the family would groan or giggle… take turns smacking him upside the back of his head. The others stuck to their own versions of wit and annoying catchphrases. But one case, working with Bruce, it was Jason who let one fly. And it almost broke the Batman.
The interrogation was tense. More than once, Bruce had to step in front of Jason so he didn’t clobber the extremely loyal henchman tied to the pillar by his ankles. Adrenaline was running high, and somebody was going to make a mistake soon if something didn’t clear the air.
“I don’t care if you break my wrists, cut out my tongue, or skin me… I don’t know anything about Black Mask or what he’s up to these days. Even if I did, I still wouldn’t tell you.” For good measure, he stuck out his tongue childishly. Jason stepped forward and he sucked his tongue back in. “What ever you have planned, it’s a wonderful day in my books.” With that, he sat back on his heels and waited for the next wave of questions. Bruce rolled his shoulders back in equal preparation.
“Well isn’t that just zippidi-do-da for you, pal,” Jason said.
Bruce turned away from the henchman to hide the crack in his usual grimace. It was a long five seconds before he could turn around again. They did eventually get the information they needed, without the shed of blood much to Jason’s chagrin. But he brought up the fact that he cracked the Batman frequently for the next several months.
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incorrectbatfam · 22 days
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Bruce is constantly asking the kids what they like to eat so he can freeze dry their favorites into oblivion as apocalypse rations
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strange-birb · 6 months
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Based on og bost by @thethirdtriplet
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Order left to right pic 1 lolz
Damian, cass, dick, duke, Tim, Steph :)
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dc-and-damirae · 11 months
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random hero: aren't you embarrassed about being related to the villain red hood?
Dick: honestly, I'm more embarrassed about being related to Tim
*Tim walks in covered in glitter and offers no explanation*
Jason watching on the monitors at his safe house: lol
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flamingpudding · 4 months
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Guys it's just merch
Danny watched with a smile hidden behind his mug of hot cocoa his new family. Originally he was only going to mess with them a little, since he wanted to keep his civilian live he gained with them but at the same time wanted to kind of provoke them to tell him about their night time jobs on their own.
Not like he could just flat out tell them he knew about their vigilantes lifes and that would be embarrassing to explain.
It's not every day that Danny's powers fluked on him, but with the stress of the past months, it happened. Right at a moment, he had to be clumsy and trip over his own feet and accidentally phased through a grandfather's clock, finding a hidden passage. Well at least he learned that way that Batman hadn't placed him with some other rich fruitloop that wasn't his godfather but well... with Batman himself and his family out of mask.
Yeah no, he did not want to explain that and hoped they would do that themselves. But apparently, they took Danny's statement of wanting a normal life a bit too serious.
Which brought him back to his current entertainment in the form of messing with his siblings.
"I don't get what the problem is guys. It's just merch." He chuckled slightly at the face Damian was making. While Jason chose to kick Tim under the table.
"Soooo how much merch on Red Robin do you have with this shirt now?" Dick asked instead with a bright smile, Danny still hadn't figured out how to tell what emotion he hid behind them sometimes.
"I think this is my third shirt of him." Danny mused, placing his cup back on the table and tapping his lip in a thinking motion. "Though I was going to pick up a couple of custom-made jackets of Red Hood and a Nightwing plush later today."
He acted like he did not hear the triumph like hiss of 'yes' from Jason as well as the very upset huff of Damian.
He just grinned at the amusement about how they apparently were competing over how much merch he owned of each of them.
When he found a Robin figure and several Robin pins mysteriously placed on his desk the next morning, he broke out laughing. Yet still just to mess with them gushed about his newly gotten merch to his family while sharing a knowing look with Alfred who knew he was just messing with them.
If there was a surprising amount of Batman merch, suddenly mixed into what he already owned the following week without his knowledge. Well, he wasn't going to complain about free stuff.
But he still would get a good laugh out of their reactions on the day he decided to full on dawn every piece of Batman merge instead of theirs.
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supermxnthathoe · 5 months
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I love how all of the Batboys have a thing as Robin, except Jason.
Like, Dick was flexible and an incredible acrobat, even as a child.
Tim is super smart and literally figured everything out as a KID.
Damian came pre-trained and was a little murder monster.
And Jason was just...happy to be there. He stole a tire and found a father. Simple.
And I love him for that.
(THIS IS JUST JOKES YALL, I LOVE JASON 🫶🏾)
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fcthots · 7 months
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OKAY SO. I was thinking abt Jason fucking you raw for the first time and he's all dizzy and giddy when he puts it in and he has to like pause for a sec because if he moves he's 99% sure he's gonna cum and like YEAH. i need this man BADLY. anyways...
-💌
This came out more cracky than I intended
"Fuck, Jason. Move."
"Can't."
"What the fuck do you mean you can't? If you don’t hurry up and fuck me-'
'I mean if I move I'm gonna cum."
"You haven't even been inside me for a full minute."
"Shut up. You feel so good. Can't help it. Gimme a minute."
"Jason," you whine, "please."
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qcomicsy · 1 year
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Dick "I was a terrible older brother and I need to make up for it" Grayson and Jason "for the love of god leave me the fuck alone" Todd.
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webshood · 2 months
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Wayne's social media where all Tim does is be everyone's 1# hater (accidentally deleted it lol)
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It always backfires with Bruce
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incorrectbatfam · 1 month
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What if Janet went into Labor with Tim during a Wayne gala and Bruce helped deliver him, but Bruce didn’t realize Tim was the same baby
Until a random stakeout/confrontation with a villain/league meeting, he remembers suddenly and just straight up goes
“I birthed you”
He then starts to think back to all the other women he helped and like...
– Teenage Bruce stopping in the middle of his day to help Mary Grayson call the hospital when her water breaks in public
– His first test of people skills as Batman is looking after Sandra Wu-San, not knowing she'd become Lady Shiva
– A short while later Batman does the same for Sheila Haywood because Willis didn't bother to show up
– Arthur Brown being too absorbed in his scandals and early scheming to be present so Batman swoops in for Crystal
– Then Janet Drake going into labor at a Wayne gala and Bruce helping her through that
– Couple years later, Batman keeping Elaine Thomas company in the twilight hours
– He stops to help Talia amidst a dangerous battle, not knowing the baby is his and her maintaining the secret
– He gets sidetracked on a time travel mission and assists a stranger, not realizing it's Mary Pennyworth
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fanaticalthings · 1 year
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I know Jason always calls Dick the "Golden child" and in comics tends to paint him as this unbeatable person in terms of morals/goodness in his head, which makes Jason feel inferior and not good enough..
but I think it'd be so fucking funny if instead of Jason thinking he'll never be as good as Dick, it's actually him just mocking his brother around others, because Jason 100% remembers Dick on multiple occasions offering his 12yo self weed while Bruce wasn't around, and he's the only sibling with the knowledge that Dick wasn't this "holier than thou, I make no mistakes and am perfect" child, which is why Jason keeps praising to the younger batfam members on how Dick is so perfect KNOWING that Dick was absolutely not that.
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strange-birb · 7 months
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I had too… I just had too
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akuchi-nya · 2 months
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a fast draw of jay kissing roy atfer the gitar solo, i really think they would be a wild couple on the stage hehe
this beautiful au is from @strange-birb I love her!! and all this "the secret band"
ps: I love to think that in this UA they are not vigilant so that every time Tim hangs on stage Bruce will have a heart attack hahahahah
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dc-and-damirae · 6 months
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dick: Hey tim, how was your stake out with jason? tim: jason and I got into a fight, so he tied me up to a chair for six hours and made me watch that one hotel tv channel that’s about the hotel. dick: tim: One day, the Seabury Ritz Hotel will burn to the ground and I will dance on its damn ashes.
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