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#joyful cheer
smak-annihilation · 3 months
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mmmmmmmmmrgh
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decriminalize killing people criminalize elon musk
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asakiyume · 1 year
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Dandelion mandala. 
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myrmica · 17 days
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HAPPY BELATED MERDAY
OH MY GOD OHHHHHHHHHH MY GOD THANK YOU SERI !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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sunflawyer · 24 days
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gush time ding ding ding 🔔🔔
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bringing him to the timeline because i miss him a lot hhhshdjfk ITS BEEN SO LONG SINCE I GUSHED ABOUT HIM I MISS HIMMMMM right now its 5am here ... he's asleep beside me... his face looks so cute im kissing him mwah mwa mwah
im not kidding everyday every hour every minute im thinking about him its gotten so bad atp he's always in my mind 24/7. no .. 25/8 even . like he's living inside my mind kissing my face endlessly ... he's so dear to me HE LOVES ME !!!!!! love his wife . 🧡
im especially affectionate today because Well . it's weekend. you know what that means HSJDJDHF DRAWING TIME !!!! im gonna draw lots of sunflawyer alalalal happiness and magical stuff is brewing yall
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innitmarvellous · 1 month
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So I read some books about aro & ace identities recently, because while I am quite sure that I'm ace and probably even aroace, I'm still struggling a lot with the ramifications of this discovery about myself, even though I first noticed this about myself a few years ago.
That's why I tried to make myself feel better by reading these books in the hope that it might be helpful in any way...and that's also why I took some notes about things that always bugged me in some way, both while reading the books and before that. (I'm not done with the books, but I already noticed enough recurring issues for a whole post.)
First, I really would like to feel at least sort of good about it. It doesn't have to be pride, just some sense of it being alright. I know that's not a prerequisite, but I don't want to feel unhappy and uneasy all the time just because of my identity :/
And there are some things I like about it. For example, having found a name and explanation for whatever is going on with me was undoubtedly nice, and I like the fact that the community seems to be very open to people identifying as ace or aro no matter where they exactly are on the spectrum. Well, there are always the exclusionists, but that's technically the consensus and I like that.
Still, there is this unpleasant feeling that doesn't seem to go away. The fact that there is something I will never understand and never experience - despite desperately wanting to. I guess that is the problem if something just isn't there, and that's just so hard to accept. Like, other people also might struggle with their orientation, but at least they do have the option to find someone who feels the same and will enter a relationship with them - while this is entirely impossible for me. And I think that's where I struggle the most, honestly. Knowing that there is no way to get the thing I want with my logical mind, because my feelings won't allow me to - and thus people on the outside won't consider me as 'relationship material' in any form since I'm lacking something crucial. And yes, I entirely understand that this would make people avoid me when it comes to relationships. After all I could never give them the thing they would expect from a relationship and it would be unfair towards them if I entered a relationship while being unable to do so. But it really doesn't make it hurt any less, and it definitely doesn't make me feel good about myself. There is something missing about me, that's just an undeniable fact and it reduces my worth in the eyes of others. Is that fair? Maybe not - I can't say, as I can't see things from their perspective - but it just is how things are. But it is very, very hard to accept.
Oh, and there is another thing that keeps being mentioned: namely that relationships without sex or of course also even fully platonic relationships are possible. But honestly? That doesn't really comfort me at all :') Because...I wasn't even nice and attractive (in both a physical and personality sense) - and whatever else - enough for a "normal" relationship, so it feels downright illusory to tell myself that someone will accept me despite my "defects" (if that's what I'll call them in this context, since that would be an allo person's view in most cases, I assume) and agree to have whatever kind of deeper relationship with me. That sounds like such a nice dream, and yet that's all it is and will remain: a dream. It's simply impossible, and that just feels bad. Because I would want to have closer connections to people, but I can't. Idk, but that is a bit cruel, especially as it isn't exactly my fault because of a choice I made.
I also feel kind of uncomfortable identifying myself as queer or part of the LGBTQIA+ community. I'd like to, but idk, I fear I wouldn't really be welcome in most queer spaces since I used to think I was heterosexual before I came across the terms ace and aro. Also, I was never oppressed due to my identity and had technically no trouble to pass as more or less some kind of straight allo late bloomer, so idk... And well, I see why my constant talking about some fictional/celeb mancrush I've got might make people think that I'm a liar and just pretend to be aro or ace for attention or other reasons. In fact, the exact same thing happened to me when a guy fell in love with me and I was forced to tell him about probably being ace. He didn't believe it because "I was always crushing on anime guys" and basically accused me of deliberately leading him on and it wasn't pleasant :/ (But I can't help it...I mean, a celeb crush doesn't require me to act on anything! I just find a guy attractive in whatever shape or form and it makes me happy to have my silly little daydreams about him and whatever. But it doesn't necessarily mean I graphically dream of fucking him, despite what I might jokingly say.) Anyway, I think it would be useful if I could confidently use the term queer for myself because idk, it would make things easier. As in, I'm definitely not "normal" aka not the standard straight cis person I once believed to be, but yeah...I still doubt that I would be allowed to call myself queer. I'm too different to be considered normal and too normal to be considered queer, I guess. So I'm sure people wouldn't be too happy about me pushing into their communities. Falling between the chairs again :')
Maybe all of my doubts and all that stuff...it's not so surprising, though. I mean, I kind of assume that most people wouldn't be too happy at the prospect of lifelong solitude and loneliness, without any chance to form deeper bonds with other people. Or maybe it's just me, who knows. It definitely scares the hell out of me and I hate it so, so much. And well, that makes it so difficult to make peace with this annoying sexual/romantic orientation of mine. (I would change it if I could...but alas we all know that's impossible.) I don't know what I exactly expected, but I surely didn't sign up to a rather sad lonely life of unhappiness and yet that is exactly what I will get :/ Another thing that is very hard to accept, and I genuinely wonder how other people managed to deal with that... I know accepting it and facing that truth is the only possible way, but yeah...I still can't bring myself to feel good about this. I mean, I've been lonely for my entire life, so I don't know...maybe I just hoped this would change at some point in the future and finding out that this will never happen now is kind of soul-crushing, honestly.
Lastly, I know that this is mostly a lengthy and overly personal rant post, so maybe no one has even read until here. But if someone did and feels like commenting, then I would really appreciate that, because...I still don't really feel fully enlightened on how I'm supposed to feel now. Maybe talking to actual people would help, but who knows. Again, I'd appreciate it if anyone wants to share their thoughts (my DMs are also open btw), although I'm aware that a random Tumblr post probably isn't the best way to solve my problem. ^^
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stoicmike · 8 months
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Keep your face happy and the happy will go inside too. -- Michael Lipsey
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Frank: *to Barnaby, Julie, and Sally* Alright, now everyone pay attention. I have an announcement to make, and I only have a minute.
Julie: Why? Are you in a hurry?
Frank: No, I was referring to your relatively short attention spans.
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cyle-stuff · 7 months
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ASHOKA SPOILERS!!!
CHOPPER GOING UP TO EZRA AND EZRA GIVING HIM A LITTLE HEAD PAT!
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But also….
HES HOME!!
EZRA IS FINALLY HOME!!
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But also they ain’t home…
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gxlden-angels · 10 months
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^ Bearer of the curse (Had to be the one to tell my therapist that some southern christians say "Daddy god" unironically)
#We've realized why I've been feeling so weird about my family being pentecostal#essentially I always joked about my family being a cult/part of a cult#it's my fun fact about myself! I escaped a cult!#makes people curious cause holy shit a cult but also wow! ur so cool! you escaped!#but it's a lot easier to make that joke when it's 'haha my family is quirky'#versus 'my family openly identifies with a group considered an extremist cult by mainstream standards'#its not a bit anymore#it's not a fun fact its like#A Real Recognized Cult#that preys on vulnerable people like my family and makes them think they're nothing without it#they get that high during the praise breaks and give a bunch of their already limited income#then go back to being miserable but saying they're joyful because the lord loves a cheerful giver#its fucked up#and it's not a bit anymore#I make it a bit with jokes like that but it's just Not#My therapist said he never met someone who grew up in that#but had seen it a couple times and thought it was Weird#So I make the same old joke about speaking in tongues sounding like gibberish#and it hits different because he doesn't get it#I made that joke with other family members who experienced it#but it's different sitting in a therapist's office walking back and forth back and forth#doing the little [ba dum ba dum badum HA] rhythm they all speak with#before the piano kicks up and people are crying screaming falling on the floor#stomping and shouting and singing#the emotional tension suffocated you and you don't know why you're crying but you are#and here I am#in my therapist's office#as he stares at me in horror and it all falls together#ex christian#religious trauma
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smak-annihilation · 12 days
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when your custom character appears in a cutscene:
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decriminalize killing people criminalize ben shapiro talking
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christiangeistdorfer · 2 months
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the podium of the 1985 MONTE CARLO RALLY celebrating ARI VATANEN's win
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ceruleancattail · 2 months
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If you are still doing that twst oc song thing, may I offer my favorite character and his pet?
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Don't let him deaf fool you. This boy can sing and dance just fine x3
Ohhh! He looks so cute!!! Just a silly- and Omg Bruxie!!! Both of them, little guys. Little guys!!!!!
I give you Ceru, and your song is!
Sunshine Duration, by Sing Sing Rabbit
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Ceru:
When you see the crimson leaves
Can you hear me whispering?
Like I'm calling out those memories in ecstacy
All the places we could be
All the faces we could see
All the dreams that we could dream
Berum:
You are like sunshine duration
Shining for the population
People praise for you
Like the ocean
You are happy aviation
No more rules and orientations
Like infinity (like infinity)
Harmonized
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doonarose · 4 months
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When two different comments on a fic poke at the tiny slither of a cracked doorway with 'oooo that'd be fun to explore' and they're both saying lovely things about the actual fic, and it would, actually, be fun to explore..
I don't have the capacity for a plot bunny right now.
But bunnies do not seem to care for my plans to be productive at work right now...
ETA. And then my own bloody queue decided to throw some sexy rocks at me. Rude.
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