#keep telling me what to think and like a sheep i will baa | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

theinternetisaweboflies · 2 years

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Baa, Baa, Black Sheep by girlinstory

Later that night, the Madrigals explore their new bedrooms, and Mirabel returns to the nursery.

Maribel was thrilled to finally have her own door.

Bruno could see it in the eyes that flashed behind her oversized glasses and the way she had to wipe a little snot off on her skirt. (Probability the purpose of Mirabel's embroidery was to cover stains increased by 12%. Probability she would cover the avocado stain on Bruno's ruana increased by 5%.)

She was a little less thrilled to return to the nursery at the end of the night. Everyone could see that. Even Mariano.

"Hey, Mirabel, why so blue?" He nudged her with the elbow that wasn't crooked around Dolores' canted hip. Everyone else had gone home some hours ago, but the Madrigals (and one in apprentice) had been too wired on the heady combination of magic and Julieta's sugary tintos.

"What? Me? Nothing. I'm fine. I'm great! Just not tired yet. All the excitement, I guess!"

"You need your sleep, mi hija," Agustín said pointedly, but it wasn't pointed at Mirabel. "We all do."

"Oh, uh, sí, sir," said Mariano, beginning to walk backwards through the plaza. Casita helped him to avoid a planter. "I'll just be going home to mi madre now. Buenas noches, Madrigals. Dolores, I'll uh, talk to you later."

She gave him an indulgent smile. "I'll keep an ear out."

Mariano ducked out the front door, muttering something about "valores, electores, flores- no, definitely not flores."

Bruno could tell that Mirabel wasn't the only Madrigal hesitant to approach their old bedroom. Everyone eyed their doors, where the magic still flowed, fetal and fickle.

Isabella moved first, throwing her door wide open so everyone could see the room that lay beyond.

Flowers.

A little darker and spikier than the ones that grew there before, but nothing to be afraid of (except the sundew). Of course not. It was Casita.

That helped Bruno gather up the courage to knock, knock, knock, knock on wood, and open his own door.

"Huh," he said.

"What is it, Tío?" Mirabel was hovering at the bottom of steps, nowhere near the nursery.

He simply stepped aside to reveal a sand… garden? At least it looked like the dry gardens Bruno had seen in Abuela's yellowed old newspapers about the treaty with Japan. There were no plants, but there were a few rocks. A wooden walkway circled the room, covered in soft looking cushions and straw mats.

"Not bad," said Mirabel, and then with much more gusto. "No stairs! Oh, thank goodness. I was not looking forward to that. I think I would've rather gone back to visit you in the walls."

Bruno couldn't help letting out a small laugh at that. There was a wooden rake hanging from the wall, which he twirled experimentally a few times before returning to its place (upside down, because it was basically a broom, and brooms had to be upside down, or maybe not anymore, now that he was back in his room).

"Tio Bruno, you might want to breathe," said Mirabel. "At some point."

"Sí, gracias, Mirabel. I wonder why it changed?"

"I dunno'." She shrugged. "Maybe 'cause we did."

"Then..." Bruno wondered if he should bring it up (Mirabel hadn't brought it up), but eventually he plunged ahead. "I wonder if your room changed as well?"

"I doubt it," she said. "I don't have a gift."

Bruno frowned. "Of course you do."

"Maybe," said Mirabel, "or maybe Casita just came back to life as soon as it was complete again."

Before Bruno could think of a response (or respond without thinking, which was really more within his repertoire), there was a commotion from the bottom of his staircase.

"Mirabel!" called Antonio.

"Mirabel? Where are you?" It was strange, even to Bruno, to hear Isabela call her sister's name without a note of outrage. It took Mirabel a moment to respond.

"We're in Tío Bruno's room," she called back, but not too loudly, just in case Dolores was with them.

"Dolores said she needed some time in her room after that fiesta," Antonio explained, poking his head through the door.

"Still soundproof?" asked Mirabel.

"Except the balcony," said Isabela, giving Mirabel a secretive smile.

"Can I come in?" asked Luisa, and it took everyone looking at Bruno to remember that not only could they see him, they were in his room. "Yes! Please. If you'd like."

"We're going to have a sleepover tonight," she told them. "We're just trying to decide where. Isabella's room is out because it tried to eat one of the toucans, and Antonio says all of Tía Pepa's rain triggered a mating season for the coatis."

"I'm learning a lot about biology," Antonio added, in a slightly stunned voice.

"Where's Camilo?" asked Mirabel.

"Oh, he snuck out a little while ago," Isabella. "He's going to turn into Mariano and read some truly awful poetry."

"How do you know?"

She gave a dainty shrug. "Who do you think helped him write it?"

"Isa!"

"What? I'm doing this for Dolores. Now when she finally hears Mariano's real poem, she'll be impressed. It's like making your bridesmaids wear ugly dresses."

Mirabel crossed her arms."Well, then you better hope Dolores doesn't like just desserts."

"I like desserts," volunteered Antonio.

"We're probably going to pick Luisa's room for the sleepover," Isabela changed the subject as fluidly as she changes the flowers in her hair. "It has a hot springs now."

Luisa pinkened, whether from embarrassment or pleasure, Bruno couldn't tell. Probably both. He'd gotten the impression his niece's guilty pleasure was, in fact, pleasure.

"We just have to see yours first!" Antonio exclaimed.

"I don't think mine's going to be anything special, you guys," said Mirabel, with a wry, accepting, and very well-practiced smile. "I mean, it's the nursery. The most exciting thing to ever happen in there was Camilo's science project."

"The one with the volcano?" asked Isabela.

"Oh, I forgot about that one. I was thinking about the one with Tía Pepa and the potato."

Mirabel didn't even notice Antonio take her by the hand and lead her down the stairs until they were standing in front of the nursery door.

"Look!" Antonio was pointing, not at the door itself, but at the knob. Where it had once been plain, it was now engraved with a simple letter M.

"Just like Casita's front door!" said Luisa.

"What about the nursery?" asked Mirabel, her hand lingering on the new knob long enough to temper their enthusiasm. "Do you think it's just gone?"

"Maybe Casita decided we don't need a nursery," said Antonio. "At least not until Dolores lets Mariano propose again."

Isabela frowned. "You're not supposed to know about those things, Tonito."

He gave a little shrug. "Biology."

"So are you going to open the door, or are we going to spend the night in the hall?" asked Isabela. "Because I don't think even my hair could recover from that."

"Go on." Antonio placed an encouraging hand on Mirabel's hip, which was the highest he could reach.

She took a deep breath and toed the door open with one espadrille.

"Que chévere!" Antonio and his entourage of animals were inside the room before anyone else could even finish taking it all in. For one thing, it was huge. Maybe not as big as Bruno's old room, vertically speaking, but at least as wide. It was much bigger than the nursery had ever been.

There were half a dozen beds, each with enough mismatched blankets and cushions to make a formidable pillow fort indeed. There was even a crib in the corner, although it was in slightly better shape than the one Antonio had inherited.

"You know what this means, right?" asked Bruno.

Mirabel shook her head, still apparently at a loss for words.

"When a new kid does come along, Casita isn't going to rebuild the nursery. You're just going to be the designated babysitter. Probably for the whole encanto."

"Camilo will be thrilled," she said eventually, sounding a little dazed. She was running one hand along the wall. Antonio's drawing of a winged, unicorn capybara was still pinned up, along with Mirabel's sketches for her latest outfit.

In addition to the beds, there was a small work station for Mirabel, complete with what looked like her old sewing machine and even the half-completed project she had been working on before Antonio's jaguar took priority. It was a mending job for Luisa. She went through a lot of sleeves.

There was a new oak cupboard with several doors which turned out to be an ice box. When Luisa opened one of the doors, she found it filled with cool glass bottles of orange juice. She helped herself.

Against the far wall was a small theater, the kind normally used for puppet shows. Bruno's rats were already putting on a show for Antonio and Isabela.

"You know what that means, right?" Bruno asked, surprised to find he was actually teasing Mirabel, the same way he used to tease Pepa.

"What?"

"Casita is preparing you to be the next Matriarca Madrigal."

That snapped Mirabel out of her trance. "No way."

"Yes way," Bruno argued.

"So we're staying in Mirabel's room, right?" asked Isabela, while the rats were on a commercial break.

"I vote yea," said Luisa, raising the hand with the juice in it.

"I vote yay too!" cried Antonio, and Pico squawked his vote.

Bruno could follow his cues.

"Alright. Have a good night. See you kids mañana," he said, crabwalking his way towards the door (habit after having to squeeze in between the walls for so long).

"You're not staying, Tío Bruno?" Mirabel immediately went into a full pout. She could seem so mature, it was easy to forget how young she actually was. Either that or she had inherited her Tío's gift for "acting."

He chuckled nervously. "Well, sleepovers are for kids, right?"

"Nonsense," said Isabela, in her most regal princesita voice, which she had perfected by the time she was seven old. Bruno didn't stand a chance.

"Besides," said Antonio, the rats having abandoned their teaser for season nine of Alguna Rata Te Mira. He clung to Mirabel's skirt, but it was to Bruno he directed his best capybara-pup eyes. "Perdita and Julio promised to do Titus Andronicus next."

"Maybe Twelfth Night would be a little more age-appropriate," Bruno suggested, but the subsequent squeaking was not particularly encouraging, since it was accompanied by some rather sanguinous special effects.

"Better stay," said Mirabel. "I think they need a chaperone, and I haven't agreed to Casita's whole babysitting plan yet."

"As if Antonio isn't already attached to your hip," said Bruno, looking down. "Literally. No, no, no. I've been spying on this family for a decade; you can't fool ol' Bruno."

"Are you sure about that?" asked Mirabel.

When Bruno looked down again he realized he was sitting in an armchair much more comfortable than the one he had been nervously picking apart for the past ten years.

Also, there was some very hearty looking bomarea multiflora securing him to it.

"Can I braid your hair, Tío?" asked Luisa.

Bruno looked around, as if considering his situation, and then shrugged.

"Meh."

#encanto #encanto one shot #encanto fanfiction #bruno madrigal #encanto fanfic #mirabel madrigal

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asma-al-husna · 3 years

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Allah calls Himself Ar-Raqeeb— The Watchful, The All-Observing, The Witness— on three occasions in the Quran. Ar-Raqeeb is the One Who sees what is hidden in the hearts and He is the One Who charges your soul for what it has earned. He is the All-and-Ever-Watchful, observing everyone’s actions, thoughts, and feelings. Ar-Raqeeb is also The Controller; preserving and organizing the affairs of creation with the perfect planning!

The Watcher, The Observer, and The Controller 

Raqeeb comes from the root raa-qaaf-baa, which points to three main meanings. The first meaning is to look, watch, observe, and be vigilant. The second main meaning is to erect in order to care for something. Raqeeb is the one who takes charge, which includes protecting, maintaining, and preserving. The third is to regard, to hold in consideration and respect.

This root appears 24 times in the Quran in six derived forms. Examples of these forms are raqabatin (“a slave”), raqeebun (“an observer”), fartaqib (“so watch”) and laa yarquboona (“they do not respect (the ties) ”).

In the Arabic language raqeeb means is the one who watches over or supervises things. That includes raqeeb al-jaysh (sergeant) who guards and protects, and raqeeb al-qawm who guards the people. [See: Lisaan al-‘Arab under ‘raqiba’] A marqab is a high place on which someone is on guard to observe what is beneath and ar-raqaba is the neck, because it is erect.

Ar-Raqeeb Himself says: Surely, Allah is Ever an All?Watcher over you.[Quran 4:1] And Allah is Ever a Watcher over all things [Quran 33:52] and . . . but when You took me up, You were the Watcher over them; and You are a Witness to all things. [Quran 5:117].

A beautiful example of belief in Ar-Raqeeb

Narrated `Abdullah ibn Zayd ibn Aslam, from his father, from his grandfather, who said: When I was accompanying `Umar ibn al-Khattab on his patrol of Madinah at night, he felt tired, so he leant against a wall. It was the middle of the night, and (we heard) a woman say to her daughter, “O my daughter, get up and mix that milk with some water.” The girl said, “O Mother, did you not hear the decree of Amir al-Mu’minin (chief of the believers) today?” The mother said, “What was that?” The girl said, “He ordered someone to announce in a loud voice that milk should not be mixed with water.” The mother said, “Get up and mix the milk with water; you are in a place where `Umar cannot see you.” The girl told her mother, “I cannot obey Him (Allah) in public and disobey him in private.” [Sifat al-Safwah and Wafiyat al-A’yan and cited by Ibn al-Jawzi in Ahkam al-Nisa’]

This is an example of how we should understand and be aware of Ar-Raqeeb. This young woman was upright in her deeds, in public and private, because she believed that Allah was observing her at all times! The righteous leader ‘Umar Ibn Abdul-Azeez descended from her!

How Can You Live By This Name? 

1. Know that you are never alone. A scholar in the past advised: “Repeat the following statement whenever you go to bed, wake up or go out, “Allah looks at me; Allah watches me; Allah witnesses me”. Knowing that Ar-Raqeeb is watching over you is called muraqabah; remind yourself Allah is watching your every move, feel His presence and converse with Him, making dua to Him to keep your intentions pure and your deeds upright. When someone you look up to is watching you, you always try harder, what about Allah? So next time give extra sadaqah, pray on time and read the Quran more and impress Ar-Raqeeb!

2. Mind your words.

Some of us might stay away from the major sins, such as adultery and interest, but we daily commit thousands of sins with the way we speak and what we speak about. Be inspired by Ar-Raqeeb to mind every word you speak and ask yourself: does this speech please Allah or make Him angry? Allah says: Man does not utter any word except that with him is an observer prepared [to record]. [Quran, 50:18]

3. Remember Ar-Raqeeb when you are tempted.

One day Umar ibn al-Khattab radiyallahu ‘anhu found a shepherd and asked if the boy would sell him a sheep. The boy replied that it was not his. `Umar ibn al-Khattab made him an offer to see how he would react, He said: “If your master asks you, tell him that the sheep was eaten by a wolf.” He looked at him and said, “And what would I say to Him (i.e. Allah)?” `Umar cried and said, “By Allah, you are right. What would you say to Him?” Whenever you feel tempted to something haraam or not doing something Allah wants from you (like praying, wearing hijab etc) think about Ar-Raqeeb watching you; would you dare to look up to the sky and say ‘no’ to Allah? A’udhubillah!

4. Be raqeeb to yourself.

Be raqeeb yourself, by watching over others and stand up for good and against wrong. And be on the watch for the Shaytan and his tricks!

5. Supplicate to Ar-Raqeeb .

When the Prophet Yunus ‘alayhi sallam was all alone in the whale, what did he say? Then he called out in the darkness (saying), “There is no god except You. All Extolment be to You! Surely, I have been of the unjust. [Quran, 21:87]

The Prophet Yunus was all alone and He sought forgiveness from the One Who was watching Him all along. Next time when you are all alone, whether it be psychically because you are stuck somewhere, or mentally because you feel down, seek forgiveness from Ar-Raqeeb and He will give you a way out! 

Wallahu ta’alaa ‘alem.

O Allah, Ar-Raqeeb, we know that You watch over and control all things. Guide us to be watchful over our hearts and our obligations towards you, adorn us with ihsaan, worshiping you as though we see You for if we don’t see you, You surely see us, aid us in purifying our intentions, help us remember Your watchfulness over us, and make this awareness an inspiration for us to increase our good deeds and stay away from our bad habits, ameen!

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from-cj-with-love · 2 years

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@jack-enbyfold @keralises

I can’t believe Kraken’s making me think about DSMP again, but I haven’t stopped thinking about its Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing concept.

Here’s a lyrical blocking breakdown of my imagination:

(Trio, Cosmos looking forward, Bacchus holding a hand to its death scar, Casey ripping a piece of bloodstained fabric with the arctic empire logo on it.) This is about you. (said by Cosmos)

Beware, beware, be skeptical (Generally good advice by Cosmos)

Of their smiles, their smiles of plated gold (the riches Arctic Duo collected, their plastered kindness)

Deceit so natural, (self explanatory)

But a wolf in sheep's clothing is more than a warning (it was only a matter of time before they destroyed L’manberg)

Baa baa, black sheep, have you any soul? (mockingly asked by Cosmos)

No sir, by the way, what the hell are morals? (mocking answer from Techno in void’s head)

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick (being nimble and quick is how Cosmos survived the final destruction of L’manberg)

Jill's a little whore, and her alibis are dirty tricks (Techno’s justifications aren’t enough)

So could you (Lyrical deep breath)

Tell me how you're sleeping easy (Its pissed now)

How you're only thinking of yourself (its training)

Show me how you justify (it writes down every bullshit reason Techno gave and how to refute it)

Telling all your lies like second nature (it seeks the truth.)

Listen, mark my words, one day, one day… (it first comes up with the plan)

You will pay, you will pay (Cosmos telling Bacchus and Casey)

Karma's gonna come collect your debt (Bacchus and Casey agree)

Aware, aware, you stalk your prey (Techno staring at the butchers through the bars.)

With criminal mentality (he’s planning to murder the army)

You sink your teeth into the people you depend on (the totem)

Infecting everyone, you're quite the problem (self explanatory)

Fee-fi-fo-fum, you better run and hide (his escape)

I smell the blood of a petty little coward (the search for him)

Jack be lethal, Jack be slick (Bacchus’s shot at trying to get him)

Jill will leave you lonely, dying in a filthy ditch (Bacchus’s quick and painful death at the hands of Techno, who didn’t even look at its body hit the ground before he already ran)

So could you, (Lyrical deep breath)

Tell me how you're sleeping easy (its on fewer lives now.)

How you're only thinking of yourself (techno’s totem let him keep 3, the operation was a disaster)

Show me how you justify (how does Techno justify this carnage?)

Telling all your lies like second nature (the army thought they search him well enough, but the totem was a surprise)

Listen, mark my words, one day, one day… (sharpening its axe.)

You will pay, you will pay (it carves “For Techno” on the side of its axe.)

Karma's gonna come collect your debt (it trails off as Casey comes in)

Maybe you'll change (Casey is a very hopeful person)

Abandon all your wicked ways (Their fantasy, Techno and Phil bow to them)

Make amends and start anew again (Continuing fantasy of the Arctic duo paying reparations for their village)

Maybe you'll see (fantasy of arctic duo looking ashamed, apologizing to Bacchus, and rebuilding with Cosmos)

All the wrongs you did to me (flashback to Casey wandering alone before coming to the DSMP)

And start all over, start all over again (the fantasy fades)

Oh my god, who am I kidding? (Sun’s fucking pissed now)

Now, let's not get overzealous here (scheming with petal’s friends)

You've always been a huge piece of shit (about Techno, to his face)

If I could kill you, I would (joking, they Are going to kill him)

But it's frowned upon in all fifty states (again, joking, they’re not in the US)

Having said that, (they smile)

burn

hell!

(this is screamed at him)

(Techno books it, the trio gives chase)

Where are you, motherfucker!? (Casey is growling this as they search for him, and the gang sees him)

Oh, oh, oh, so— (Casey, Cosmos, Bacchus, corner him)

Tell me how you're sleeping easy (Bacchus and Casey act as bait so Cosmos can strike)

How you're only thinking of yourself (Cosmos and Casey taunt Techno so Bacchus can strike)

Show me how you justify (Cosmos and Bacchus distract Techno so Casey can strike)

Telling all your lies like second nature (Deep breath, they did it, they smile)

Listen, mark my words, one day, one day… (they laugh and go to grab their treasures.)

You will pay, you will pay (they hold their treasures and book it)

Karma's gonna come collect your debt (Cosmos crowning itself)

Karma's gonna come collect your debt (Bacchus sheathing his weapons on its back)

Karma's gonna come collect your debt (Casey handing off the tooth to Quackity, the emerald having been turned into jewelry)

The last shot is of the trio, smiling.

#long post #dsmp sona #dream smp au #cjangles

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narakurosaki · 3 years

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title: jealousy

collection: equivalent exchange

summary: the resembool trio attend resembool’s summer festival. unfortunately, jealousy isn’t a good look on a certain elric brother.

rating: t

words: 4173

accepting prompts!

read on ao3

. . .

It reeks of sheep shit.

Resembool was known as a sheep-farming town, using the gathered wool to craft Amestrian military uniforms. The smell shouldn’t be a surprise, but the awful odor still causes Edward to gag. He’s grown used to the shit-free scents encountered across Amestris during his travels—Central reeked of car fumes and smoke from factories; Dublith had become associated with the stench of blood and raw meat thanks to the Curtis’ butcher shop; Liore held the scent of sand in its air; and Briggs stunk of overpriced coffee. The scent of shit in the air had even overwhelmed Alphonse, bringing up his earlier lunch the moment the brothers stepped off of the train. It was the scent of home, he’d smiled, spitting the taste of bile into a nearby trash can. Edward begged to differ. There’s a reason he prefers to stay indoors, the smell of burnt electrical wiring and oil mixing with the mouthwatering scent of freshly baked apple pie.

The strumming of a guitar, the banging of a drum, and the clapping of hands are like nails against a chalkboard. Reaembool’s annual summer festival was in full swing, complete with food, drinks, rigged games, and dancing. Alphonse had been counting down the days since summer began, crossing each passing day off of the calendar until the circled date had approached. He’d gained enough physical strength since returning home to walk without the aid of a crutch—he looked like a proper fifteen-year-old boy, now; his bones no longer protruded from his skin, and he’d even began gaining a healthy amount of belly fat. Edward and Winry had worried themselves silly when Al announced he would partake in dancing with old friends, but Pinako had assured them that Alphonse knew what his body could handle. Still, Edward watches the dance floor for a glimpse of his little brother, spinning in circles with a different girl than before.

The moment dancing was mentioned, however, Edward bid the two farewell, wandering aimlessly along the riverbank. It drained him to be around Resembool citizens his age—they often posed questions regarding his newfound flesh arm, or inquired about his time spent in the military. Some even asked him to perform alchemy, unintentionally striking a cord within him. The friends he and Al had made in grade school weren’t forced to grow up far too quickly. As far as he was concerned, he, Al, and Winry were the most mature teenagers in town.

But, he understood Alphonse’s want to mingle. He deserved to be carefree after spending so long as a suit of armor. Winry tagged along to keep him company, arguing with Edward about ditching his younger brother. She’d yelled that he was a fucking jerk and to go home if he was going to act like that.

He sighs. Things with her had gotten incredibly confusing as of late. Maybe that was his fault; he had kissed her two days ago, and had barely spoken a word to her since. Could that be adding fuel to the fire that was her anger with him for ditching Alphonse? Could that be why he’s been seeing glimpses of her in the distance, spun around the dance floor by another man, a grin on her face?

His hands ball into fists, a fire burning in the pit of his stomach. He knows he shouldn’t care—Winry was free to dance with whoever she wanted. They weren’t dating, after all. They’d only kissed briefly one night, and Edward had scurried back to his room before she could ask what it meant. Perhaps this was payback, not that he would blame her. He deserves it.

To his right, leaves crunch beneath someone’s feet. He lifts his head, averting his gaze from the sheep, searching for the source. Illuminated by the moonlight reflecting off of the river are golden eyes, closed as their owner smiles. Alphonse holds his hand up in a friendly wave.

“You’re missing out,” he speaks into the silence, settling beside his older brother. “We’re having a lot of fun back there.”

“Trust me,” Edward waves a hand, dismissively, “I’m well aware.”

He chances a glance back at the dance floor. It’s easy enough to pick Winry out from the others—long blonde hair that flows freely down her back, a pretty white dress that ends just below her knees, a bright smile that makes his heart race in his chest. There’s a pair of hands at her waist, and Edward squints to make out who they belong to. It’s Benjamin Thompson, a local farmer boy that Ed knew nothing of, other than his hatred for him in this moment. Winry’s arms are wrapped loosely around his neck. She throws her head back to laugh at something he’s whispered in her ear. The hair on the back of Ed’s neck stands on end.

“You could’ve danced with her, you know.”

He looks to Al, brow furrowed. “These festivals aren’t exactly my style.”

Alphonse rolls his eyes. “Would it kill you to think of someone other than yourself for once?” He leans partially into the pen, running his hand through sheep wool, one by one. “You think Winry wants to dance with those guys?”

Edward drops his gaze to the sheep gathering around his brother’s hand. “Sure seems like it.”

Several sheep baa in Al’s direction. He smiles and reaches his other hand in, commenting that he will gladly pet them all if they would wait their turn. He cranes his head to look at Edward. “She’s trying to make the best out of a bad situation, Brother. Do you know how confused she must be? You spent an absurd amount of money on that ring toss game just to win her that bear she said was cute.”

Ed drags his right hand along the length of his jaw. He had only want to make her happy with that damned plush bear. Seeing Winry smile was one of the greatest sights to behold. While Edward pumped a fist in the air upon landing the winning toss, Winry was jumping up

and down with excitement as the attendant fetched her prize. She’d hugged it so tightly, Edward had joked that she’d squeeze the stuffing out of it.

“…I kissed her the other night.”

It’s spoken so suddenly, so out of no where, that Alphonse removes his hands from the sheep pen. They baa in annoyance, to which Edward glares at them. Stupid, smelly, annoying things.

“You…” Al’s jaw goes slack. It’s evident in the way his cheeks twitch that he wants to smile. His expression remains blank. “When? How? Why didn’t anyone tell me?”

Edward offers a lazy shrug. “Two nights ago. We were saying goodnight in the hall and it just… happened. It wasn’t anything big.”

“Are you kidding!?” Al runs both hands through his short, golden hair. “Brother, Ed, this is huge! I’ve been waiting for you two to do something since we got back home!” A groan escapes him. His head falls forward, bangs bouncing against his forehead. “Leave it to you to screw things up.”

Where a retort from the elder Elric would be, there is only silence. He looks back at the sheep, now wandering and munching on grass. He begins to pull at the fingers of his right hand. “Maybe she’ll kiss someone else, tonight. She seems pretty comfortable with that Benjamin jackass.”

He can feel his brother’s golden eyes on him, feel the judgment as though it were rain drops upon his skin. Alphonse breathes a sigh from his nose. “There’s a way to fix this, but if you’re going to be stubborn I can’t help you. I have to get back to the dance—I promised Angela I’d dance with her.”

Ed gives a nod.

Al pats his brother’s shoulder, an act of comfort, before making his return to the dance floor. Edward wrings his hands together. A few sheep linger near him, desperate for the human touch Alphonse had offered. Ed only scoffs.

“One way to fix it my ass,” he grouses, gripping the wood until his knuckles go white. “No way in hell am I prying her away from some redneck just to beg her to give me another chance.”

He pushes himself away from the sheep pen, the wood creaking in defiance. The sound alerts the sheep, and a dozen pair of eyes settle on him. “Oh, you guys gonna judge me, too?” But the sheep quickly return to their grazing. Ed rolls his eyes and shoved his hands into his trouser pockets. He begins the trek back to the Rockbell house.

If he looks, he can still see Winry dancing with the Thompson boy. His face is burnt from the sun, his messy brown hair falls in his eyes, and he grins from ear-to-ear as he spins Winry around like he knows what he’s doing. His wears a red and white checkered button up shirt with a basic pair of blue jeans and boots. Edward grits his teeth. The outfit was practically the standard amongst the working men of Resembool—Ed and Al had influence from the cities of Amestris when it came to their fashion. It made Edward feel overdressed at this stupid festival, walking around in a white button up with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, a pair of black slacks covering his ass, and black boots on his feet. Alphonse had dressed similarly, and Ed often heard the girls gossiping about how handsome he looked. At least it worked out for him, in the end.

He pushes his bangs back and flexes his jaw. Maybe his behavior had pushed Winry into the arms of another man, as Al suggested. There was no fixing it now, not in his mind, anyway. He and Winry had fought shortly after he’d won her that stupid stuffed bear. He wouldn’t blame her if she’d tossed it in the river out of anger. He’d fucked up pretty badly.

The sounds of the festival—instruments, laughter and chatter, the stomping of feet—begin to fade the more distance Edward puts between them. He watches his feet carry him down the familiar path home, kicking any rock that stands in his way. Granny would ask why he was home so early the moment he walked through the door. There wasn’t any use lying to her—she could read him like a book—but he didn’t want to talk about it, either. He planned to climb up the stairs and settle in his bed, doing his best to forget what he’d seen and sleep the remainder of the night away.

Maybe if he hadn’t acted so stupid after kissing her. Maybe if he’d manned up and discussed how he felt, he wouldn’t be in the situation he was now. But he’d learned at a young age that there was no fixing your mistakes. At least, no easily, and this one seemed beyond repair.

“Dammit, Ed, what are you doing?”

He stops to look over his shoulder, the familiar voice catching him off guard. He blinks, eyes widening as his brain registers the sight before him: Winry is running down the dirt path, oversized bear hugged against her chest, desperately trying to catch up to him.

His chest tightens.

“What’s it look like?” His voice lacks its usual hardness. He’s unable to mask the pain. “I’m going home. I didn’t want to be at that stupid thing, anyway.”

As he turns his attention ahead of him, Winry clutches his wrist, pulling his arm back. “What the hell is your problem?”

He clenches his teeth and yanks his arm out of her grasp. “I don’t have one. Why don’t your go back to your hick of a boyfriend and leave me alone.”

“What, are you jealous?”

“Of course no—

“Because I’m not the one who kissed me and then avoided me for two days!”

So he had hurt her feelings.

What a dumb thing to think, believing he could get out of the situation without hurting her. He really is foolish.

He fills his lungs, doing his best to ignore the stench in the air, and breathes out slowly. He turns to face her, brow furrowed. He isn’t surprised to see just how angry she is.

“All you ever gave me was a small acknowledgment, and that was only when you ran in to me.” Her arms loosen around the stuffed bear. Its head flops forward a smidge. “I figured you regretted kissing me, but, then you insisted on playing that stupid game just to win me this toy…” Their eyes meet, and Edward can see just how much he’s hurt her. “I’m confused, Ed. You never talk about your feelings, you just act. And right now, you’re acting like a dick.”

He deserved to be called every name in the book, but Winry would never do it. She was right—he was acting like a dick, and why? Because he was worried she may not return his feelings for her? Because he couldn’t bear to be in the same house after embarrassing himself? He hadn’t even been sure that she’d kissed him back. It was more of a peck than anything, and she had’t said a word once he’d pulled away.

He sneers. It infuriates him how well she knows him, how she knows exactly what buttons to press to elicit a reaction. “Why does it even matter? You’re having a good time. Why not just let me leave?”

The plush bear falls to the dirt as Winry throws her arms in the air. She groans into the night. “Geez, how stupid can one man be!?”

If it’s meant to hurt him, he barely feels it.

She places her palm against her chest. “Did it ever occur to you that I was trying to make you jealous?”

They remain there, glaring at one another as Winry’s words settle in the air. Edward’s brain works overtime to process them—he blinks, the anger on his face slowly fading as the realization settles. The anger he felt lingers, dancing in the pit of his stomach with his jealousy. Annoyance bubbles its way up his throat, leaving the taste of bile on his tongue. She couldn’t be serious.

“That’s a low blow, Winry.” His words are soft, barely audible above the sounds of the festival.

“Is it?” Her hands ball into fists at her sides. “Because I think it’s pretty on par with your behavior these past few days.”

He grits his teeth and reaches for the plush bear’s ear, lifting it forcefully off of the ground. “Don’t worry, I’ll put this in your room for you so you can go dance with Benjamin.” He turns on his heel, oversized plush dragging on the ground as he continues down his earlier path.

He makes it only three feet when Winry’s words stop him. “What is it going to take to get you to talk about the other night?”

The other night; the kiss, she means. What did it mean? Why had it happened? Why had he avoided her afterward? He swallows and lowers his head, keeping his back to her. Maybe it would be easier to discuss if he couldn’t see her face…

“I kissed you,” he answers, “and then I went to bed.”

An exasperated sigh rushes from her lungs. “You’re so stubborn, you know that?”

He spins around, ponytail coming to rest against his shoulder. His bangs hit his face, hairs sticking out in disarray. His grip on the plus bear’s ear tightens, knuckles whitening. He clenches his jaw past the point of comfort, and scowls at his best friend. She thinks this is easy? He’d avoided her those two days because it was anything but.

His upper lip quivers until he can no longer take it. “I was afraid, dammit!”

His words echo across the river. He looks worriedly towards the festival grounds, seeking anyone who may be looking his way. He comes up empty, met only with Winry’s bright blue eyes.

He shoves his free hand into his pocket. His cheeks burn with embarrassment. He ducks his head to hide his face beneath his bangs. “I had no idea what you were thinking after I kissed you. For all I know, you didn’t even want it to happen. I couldn’t face you just for you to put me down easy. We live in the same damn house, Winry. I’d die of embarrassment.”

“God.”

Here it comes, he thinks, here comes her shooting me down.

It’s okay. Tonight has prepared him for this. If she wanted to be in the arms of another man, so be it. He’d move on. He’d have to.

“You really are dumb, aren’t you?” From behind his bangs, he watches her pinch the bridge of her nose. “It’s a wonder they let you become a state alchemist. Actually, scratch that.” She places her hands on her hips and rolls her eyes. “State alchemists don’t have to be smart with women, I forgot.”

He lifts his head, dumbfounded.

“Didn’t it ever occur to you that maybe, just maybe, I wanted you to kiss me?”

Actually, it hadn’t.

He shakes his head.

“Geez,” she grumbles. She closes the distance between them and plucks her plush bear from his fingers. She sets it down on a small grassy patch beside the path. “Here, come dance with me.”

“What?” But she’s already grabbing his hands, pulling the other out of his pocket. She leads him to the grass by the river bank. She places his hands on her hips, looping her arms around his neck. His heart rate picks up, drowning out the faint music from the festival. Winry sets the pace, swaying side-to-side to what he guesses is the beat of the music. He swallows the lump in his throat.

The moonlight reflects off of the water and illuminates her eyes; they’re a cloudless sky that Edward could easily lose himself in. “I’ve literally spelled it out for you, and you still don’t get it.” She shakes her head and smiles. “What am I going to do with you?”

He sways in time with her. He begins to hear the music over the beating of his heart—the strumming of a guitar, the beat of a drum, and the deep voice singing a song of a man that didn’t dance, but would for the woman he loved. He glances down at his hands upon her hips and turns a brighter shade of red. Winry places her index finger beneath his chin and guides his eyes back to hers.

“You really hurt my feelings when you avoided me.” Her voice, barely above a whisper, is drenched in sadness. “That morning, after you kissed me, I was hoping to talk to you. Granny and Al had no clue where you were, and you didn’t come back until later that evening. Do you know how awful I felt?”

He shakes his head, and she loops her arm back around his neck. Truth be told, he hadn’t put her feelings into consideration even once. He’d ran off that morning, visiting his mother’s (and, inadvertently, his father’s) grave, telling her just how stupid he was, how he’d made a fool of himself, how he’d destroyed a lifelong friendship because his feelings for her couldn’t be held back. He won’t tell this to Winry. Not now.

“I felt awful, Ed. I felt that you kissed me on some whim and grew to regret it.” Her fingers play with the hair at his neck. “No girl wants to feel like the guy who kissed her regrets doing it.”

The pair continue to sway to the beat of the music as Edward processes Winry’s words. He hangs on to each word, each syllable, analyzing their meaning. He’d hurt her, that much he knew, and he regrets it deeply. But he never could have imagined that she would believe he regretted kissing her.

“Is that why you decided to make me jealous?”

She nods stiffly. Clearly, that wasn’t her proudest moment. “You won me that stupid bear and I figured that you were finally going to talk to me about what happened. Instead, you ran away, again, so I went with Al. All I planned to do was wait for my turn to dance with Al, but Benjamin asked me go dance, and I saw you out there by yourself… I knew you could see the dance floor. I knew you would see us—that was my intention.”

“Could’ve fooled me.” Ed rolls his eyes. “You were all over him.”

“Oh, Edward.” Now it’s her turn to roll her eyes. She struggles to stifle her laughter. “Benjamin is gay.”

Oh.

Now he feels like an even greater ass.

“You honestly think I’d willingly dance with someone just wanting to get in my pants?”

Well, yes. He had thought that, anyway.

He hangs his head and lets out a sound of annoyance. “You’re evil, you know that?”

“So I’ve been told.”

Again, her arm untangles from behind his head, hand moving to cup his cheek. She guides his gaze back to her, a soft smile on her lips. He stares into her eyes, a fire burning in the pit of his stomach. A sense of urgency hits him like a ton of bricks—kiss her; make it right—but he’s lost himself in her beauty. His feet move automatically to the song, eyes drinking in every ounce of her. It isn’t often he sees Winry in a dress—she greatly prefers the comfort and protection of her coveralls while working, and can often be found lazing about in an oversized shirt and a pair of shorts. Though, it was strange. She was always beautiful, even covered in grease. Perhaps he’s just never been this close. The last time he’d felt this way was two nights ago, outside of her bedroom, their actions masked by the dark. He swallows.

The hair at his neck twirls easily around her fingers. He yearns for her to run them through his hair, to touch him in ways no one has ever touched him before. His eyes close as he begins to dream.

Winry let’s a content sigh out through her nose. She pulls his head down until their foreheads touch. “You still don’t get it, do you?”

“Mm, get what?”

He feels her gently shake her head. “That your fears were silly. I like you, dummy.”

His eyes open, met once more by a sea of blue and a warm smile. A faint blush dusts her cheeks. His heart skips a beat.

She lays a palm flat against the back of his neck, the other moving to rest above his heart. Their swaying comes to a natural halt, and Edward moves his right hand to cup her cheek. “I like you, too.”

Winry’s grin is instantaneous. “I think we’ve established that.”

He chuckles. “Yeah, guess so.”

His tongue peeks out to wet his lips. There’s an array of emotion within Winry’s eyes that drive him wild—excitement, joy, infatuation, and something deeper that he can’t quite place. He leans forward and tilts his head, closing his eyes as their lips meet. An electric current runs between them with nowhere to go. Winry’s pulls Ed closer towards her, Ed’s hand on her hip grips the fabric of her dress tighter. Their lips move awkwardly, both lacking any form of experience. His teeth clack clumsily against hers, her lips move too quickly at one point, and his tongue shyly enters her mouth without a clue of what to do. They are intoxicating one another, freely conveying years of pent up emotions for one another with their mouths. In the distance, the band stops playing. The only sounds they hear are their lips, their breathing, and the crickets hiding amongst them.

#edward elric #winry rockbell #edward x winry #edwin #fma #fullmetal alchemist #otp: equivalent exchange #equivalent exchange #my fics #jealous ed is honestly fun to write #my fav fic to date #enjoy!!!

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neonthewrite · 3 years

Text

Washed Up Winchesters 7

The team is closing in on the solution to their mystery! What's it gonna be, dream team?!

Cowritten with @nightmares06, the writer behind the @brothersapart multiverse!

( 1 ) ( 2 ) ( 3 ) ( 4 ) ( 5 ) ( 6 ) -7- ( 8 )

Story Tag

Read Time ~15 minutes

~~~~~

Jacob didn’t exit the inner roads of the city a moment too soon. A few people had started to wander closer to figure out what he was up to, despite the officer from before trying to convince them to move along. The resident giant didn’t walk among the close-packed buildings very often at all, and it only showed off how tall he was compared to everything else.

He was grateful to have passengers to pay attention to. He couldn’t think too much about his self-consciousness that way.

Once they were back on the outskirts of town, he glanced down often to get more directions from Sam or Minnie (Chase, as usual, didn’t seem too fussed about the direction they went). They eventually led him to a place well outside of town. None of the bumpiest roads even wound up out there, and the hills, covered in brush and rocks, wouldn’t be kind to most people on foot. A few dense clusters of trees formed extra barriers against travel in that direction.

“So you think these, uh, shapeshifter thingies are hiding somewhere in there?” he asked, pausing once again to consult the miniature monster hunters. “I’m not gonna be able to make a stealthy entrance, so what’s the plan?”

"Keep an eye out for any stray animals," Sam cautioned. "We don't know what their animal forms are yet, and skinwalkers are more versatile compared to werewolves like that. Whatever the pack is, anyone they bite will also turn into that animal."

"Who needs stealth when you have a giant on your side?" Dean commented, eliciting a side-eye from Sam. Likely his younger brother was remembering how trigger happy Dean had been just a few short hours back. Though considering the part that past giants had played in Blefuscu's history, it was understandable that the mini-monster hunter would feel threatened when seeing another one spring to life from the story books.

“Right?” Chase agreed. “These skinwalker thingies had no idea what they were getting into, invading Lilliput.”

Jacob’s mouth twisted into a skeptical frown. He might be big, and he’d used that to his advantage once or twice, but it didn’t make him an expert here. The monster hunting expertise all settled on Sam and Dean’s shoulders. He was prepared to help however they might need, but he didn’t like the thought of living as an open challenge to any monster that wanted to try something.

Minnie fidgeted. Her brow furrowed. “Can we just find them and get it over with?”

Jacob cupped his hand closer to his chest. “Yeah,” he tried to sound reassuring. “Just gonna …” he reached down to the tops of the nearest grouping of trees, brushing his hands over them. The young, supple trees bent back at his coaxing, though not without some creaking branches and snapping twigs, and birds swarmed away from his hand like flies.

“Can you guys tell if there’s any tracks or anything through there?”

Dean gave Jacob such a flat look that it could have dried up an ocean. Dried it up and left cracked salt flats behind. "What kind of tracks do you think we can spot from here, after you go messin' around with everything?" He pointed at the way the area had been affected by Jacob's movement.

Jacob glanced down and, in an overplayed show of drawing his hand back, let the trees spring into place with a cascade of yet more twigs and leaves. “I didn’t think they’d be climbing around in the trees,” he defended. As for how much they could have seen on the ground … he saw the point. He was too used to the Lilliputians being able to see much more detail than he ever could, and never paused to think about how high up he had everyone.

“Don’t worry, buddy,” Chase said, patting Jacob’s palm. “Ya did your best. You said it yourself, you won’t be sneaking up on ‘em.”

Jacob rolled his eyes and sighed, and some of the birds that were swarming from his recent disturbance scattered even further in the sudden breeze. “Right.”

He pressed forward, this time not paying much mind to the clusters of trees unless there was motion among them. Usually, it was a fox or another flock of birds, all irate for his presence. As he navigated around boulders jutting out of the ground and stepped over thick underbrush, he understood why no one made much use of the area. If he tried to set his passengers down right then, Chase and Minnie would definitely get themselves tangled up in something. Sam and Dean might fare only a little better.

As he crested the first hill, he paused. “I didn’t really see much in there,” he admitted. “Maybe I went the wrong way?”

It was Minnie who spoke up next, and she was staring down at a clearing at the foot of the hill. “There’s a flock of sheep.”

Chase snickered. “Jeez, Minnie, do we need to get you more lambs to look after? Sheep are on your brain today.”

She pointed at the clearing and shot him a scathing glare. “They’re on my brain because they’re there, Chase!”

"She's right," Sam put in helpfully, interrupting the siblings.

Indeed, the clearing ahead was populated with a peacefully grazing herd of sheep. Several "Baas" filtered back to the group in Jacob's hand. The giant had not gone unnoticed by the sheep, as most of them had given a wide berth to the side Jacob stood closest to.

Dean's eyes lit up with excitement. "If there's sheep, it's the perfect kind of place for shifters to make themselves right at home, especially if they're holed up for a while until they think they’re forgotten," he pointed out. "We should check the place out, see if there's any predators nearby that might be stalking the herd."

"I wonder how they all got over here," Minnie mused, even as Jacob looked for a good path down the gentle slope of the hill.

"Maybe the shapeshifter guys took 'em," Chase said. "We'll see if someone back in town is missing any."

"Just hope I won't scare 'em off," Jacob muttered. Even at his lowest volume, the four on his hand wouldn't miss his concern. Just his appearance over the crest of the hill had made some of the sheep nervous, from what he could see. He inched along towards the clearing, trying not to cause a landslide as he did.

Dean was unable to stop from bouncing on his heels while they waited, unaccustomed to waiting around for someone else to do all the work while he was stuck in the air.

"The longer you take, the more time they have to run off," he helpfully reminded Jacob, which got an annoyed look sent back at him from Sam.

"If any make a break for it, we'll just have Jake round them up," Sam said dryly.

Jacob sent a skeptical glance at his hand, but didn't argue. He had never tried to actually pick up the Lilliputian livestock before. At most, there were a few herds of cattle that allowed him to touch their backs. Mostly the animals still avoided him, and he didn't exactly blame them. Even now, his shadow over the hill crept over that green clearing and the sheep weren't any more curious about him than before.

If they did turn out to be stolen or lost, he'd probably be the one carrying them back over the hill. Hopefully the others would manage to help him keep from spooking the whole lot.

As soon as he was close enough, he crouched down, one hand braced on the ground while the other lowered his passengers to the grass. "Just gimme a shout if you spot trouble," he urged them.

Chase gave a thumbs up while he helped Minnie hop down from the hand. Then, before he could chirp out a response, he had to suppress a sneeze in the crook of his arm. "Oh yeah, I'm allergic to the air I guess," he complained.

"Just don't scare the flock," Minnie scolded.

Dean followed behind the younger pair of siblings, scowling. "We don't know where the skinwalkers are, so you two need to stick close to us," he told them sharply. "Chase, you're with me. Got it?"

"That means it's me and you," Sam said to Minnie with a smile. "Don't go out of earshot of the others, and watch my back."

“Oh, I definitely don’t plan to get lost out here,” Minnie muttered back. Chase would never let her live it down. That was another perk to having a giant so nearby. Jacob would be able to find them if they shouted for him, and he could pluck them right out of danger if they needed. Even so, she stuck close to Sam as she scanned the area for any signs of something out of the ordinary.

By contrast, Chase stuck close to Dean out of convenience more than wariness. He didn't want to get lost out there either. “Doesn’t look like anyone’s bothered this flock yet,” he noted. “Think the guys are nearby still?”

"We're here to find out," Dean said, more sharply than he meant. The fact that they didn't know for sure unnerved him more than usual. Combine that with the fact that they were well away from their familiar stomping grounds in Blefuscu, and he was on edge.

The secluded field hardly seemed the place for a dangerous pack of shapeshifters, but Dean had seen weirder in his time as a hunter. They could take no chances. Selecting a direction that led away from Sam's pair and Jacob, he took point, leading Chase into the flock of sheep to search for their owners.

"Baa."

Dean ignored the sound of the sheep as they milled restlessly around the intruders, trying to spot any color in the field of white. The sheep had to have gotten this far up the hills somehow, but he wasn't seeing any sign of their caretakers.

"Baa."

This time, the sound of an impatient sheep was shortly followed by one of them headbutting into Dean's legs. Caught off-guard, he toppled into the field and vanished among the woolly animals.

"Oh shit! Dean!" Chase blurted, a smile only briefly flashing across his face. When the determined monster hunter didn't catch himself or spring right back up, he lurched over to where he'd seen him fall over. The sheep were restless at this point, no doubt owed in part to their sudden intrusion. Chase had to sidle around several of them before he could find where Dean landed.

He patted one nearby sheep's head distractedly as he knelt down. "Scuse me." He got his hands on Dean's arm to help pull him up to a seat. "What happened?"

Dean rubbed his head, blinking in confusion. "I think... the sheep?"

The herd was growing more restless by the minute now, a multitude of baas surrounding the pair. As Dean got unsteadily to his feet, a second sheep rammed its head into his legs and sent him tumbling down again.

"Ah, jeez!" Chase groused. How Minnie could keep a whole flock of sheep in line, he would never know. "Calm down, guys!" He had to step around one uppity ram that had wandered it's way between him and Dean in all the milling around.

"They don't seem to like us much," he said, exasperated. "Maybe we oughta just go around the flock instead of through it."

He knelt down to help once again, and this time one of the sheep let out an indignant baaa right next to his ear. Slapping a hand over his ear, Chase frowned. "Oh calm down a second, wouldja? We're going!"

Dean ended up needing Chase's help to stand, surrounded by the annoyed bleats of the flock. He scowled right back at them. "Seriously, since when are sheep this irritating?"

~~~

Not far away, Sam was having similar issues.

He was unable to go more than a few steps before another sheep would try to headbutt him off his feet. However, Minnie was distinctly left alone in comparison, with all the ire of the sheep directed towards the younger Winchester brother.

Minnie frowned and scanned the handful of sheep currently swarming around Sam. They didn't look sickly, or even all that scared. They were just annoyed by Sam for some reason.

"Hey, hey," she said gently, clicking her tongue at them. "What got you all worked up?" One sheep allowed her to pat its head once before shaking her off and returning to bleat at Sam.

She glanced across the flock to see Chase and Dean having similar problems, with a sea of indignant sheep in between the two groups. One look over her shoulder showed that Jacob hadn't moved and was poorly hiding his bemusement with the sight, so he probably couldn't be to blame for the flock's upset.

"Sam, we should--" she cut herself off, seeing him still struggling to keep his feet. Like her brother, she had to sidle her way past the sheep to get close enough to help him up. "We should check around the edges first, maybe. I dunno if I've ever seen a flock get this annoyed before."

“Yeah, let’s--” Whatever Sam was going to say was cut off when a ram headbutted him directly in the ass and sent him to faceplant in the dirt.

“Sam!”

Even from across the field, Dean had seen that Sam was in the same predicament as he was. The sheep were oddly focused on the Winchester brothers, while mostly ignoring the Lisongs. Frustrated, Dean pulled out his gun only to remember that it was out-of-commission from the saltwater. “Son of a bitc--”

He was knocked to the grass yet again, surrounded by increasingly agitated sheep. Chase, standing near him, made the mistake of trying to catch his fall. It ended with them both toppling into the sea of woolly troublemakers.

Minnie huffed in exasperation. “Chaaase,” she drawled, only to glance up as a shadow neared the flock.

“Okay, guys,” Jacob murmured, finally deciding he needed to step in. The first couple times the sheep had knocked Dean over, he’d been amused, but at this rate they’d never figure anything out. He would have to risk spooking some of the herd if only to deal with them later. He leaned forward, one hand planted firmly and flattening some sheep-free grass, while the other dipped down towards the flock where he’d last seen Dean and Chase fall over.

To his surprise, the sheep didn’t scatter in all directions from his shadow. At best, the ones near Dean and Chase bleated angrily and shuffled out of the way, giving him the space to scoop them both off the grass.

Before Jacob could do so, Dean bounded to his feet, fed up with the entire situation.

"That's ENOUGH!" he bellowed, yanking out his silver knife and brandishing it at the flock. "The next sheep to headbutt me gets its wool sheared off early!"

That somehow riled the sheep up even more, though they didn’t charge at him while the shadow of Jacob’s hand hovered overhead. Chase managed to regain his feet, suppressing a few sneezes from falling in the grass. All around the pair, the sheep bleated and a ram stomped just outside of Dean’s reach.

Jacob saw it before Dean or Chase did. While the ram in front made its odd show of defiance, another one edged towards them from behind. “Okay,” he muttered, “this is getting ridiculous.”

He reached down and plucked both of them up, gently herding them towards his palm before whisking them up. Once they were hovering over the heads of the many indignant baaas of the flock, he focused on Sam and Minnie.

The sheep still didn’t want to let Sam up, especially after Dean’s outburst, and they’d managed to shuffle Minnie away from him. Two fingers scooped under Sam’s middle to haul him up before the sheep smothered him or started to bite at him or something. Once he deposited Sam with the other two on his hand, he finally offered a hand up for Minnie and explained his hasty actions. “This isn’t working. You guys are gonna get trampled if this keeps up.”

Finally free of the sheep thanks to Jacob's intervention, Dean was able to bring himself to stand on his own two feet, with no fear of getting butted over yet again.

"What is with these sheep?" he demanded angrily at the air. "Don't they know we're trying to help? If there's a pack of wolves around, it's only a matter of time for them!"

That was when it clicked for Sam.

"Holy shit," he breathed. "Holy shit."

#mywriting #collab #washed up winchesters #chase in lilliput au #chase lisong #minnie lisong #sam winchester #dean winchester #jacob andris #supernatural fanfiction #gullivers travels fanfiction #g/t #g/t handheld

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fanaticfangirl001 · 3 years

Text

Like Real People Do Ch 6: The Stain

Taglist: @p3nny4urth0ught5, @kissofvenom922,

Author’s note: Considering Sam’s TT, it’s very common in the South to give relatives nicknames, especially in the African American community(Just in case anyone was confused during the episode)

Winnie flops down on the couch and sighs.

“Penny for your thoughts.”

“Sam, this whole thing is fucked up.” Winnie rubs her temples.

“Well once this is all over, I’ll leave you and Buck alone.”

“No reason to. He hates me.”

“Huh?”

“ At Sharon’s place. I confronted him and he brushed me off. I mean it was stupid to think that.”

“Wait, you think Buck hates you because he wouldn’t open up to you.”

“Exactly, we’ve talked about stuff before.”

“Stuff like feelings?”

“No. I’m pretty sure we’re just going to stuff those down and then one day, we die.”

“That’s not healthy.”

“Did you imagine us to have a healthy way of coping with our shit?”

“No, but once everything is over, try therapy.”

“I’d screw it up.”

“There’s nothing to screw up.”

“I’d screw up the therapist. There’s a lot, Sam, none of it is great.”

Zemo walks out of the shower with a towel wrapped around his waist and Bucky walks through the front door.

“Well the Wakandans are here. They want Zemo. Bought us some more time.”

“Were you followed?”

“No.”

“How can you be so sure?”

Winnie sits up from the couch.

“Because I know when I’m being followed.”

“It was sweet of you to defend me at least.”

“Hey, you shut it. No one’s defending you.You killed Nagel”

“Don’t put too much stock in it.” Winnie warns. “You mean to an end.”

“You’d be bored without me.” Zemo says to Winnie then adds “ Do we really have to litigate what may or may not have happened.”

“There’s nothing to litigate. You straight shot a man.”

“Point blank.” Winnie adds.

“Sam.”

“What?”

“Karli bombed a GRC supply depot.”

“What? What’s the damage?”

“Eleven injured, three dead. They have a list of demands and are promising more attacks if those demands aren’t met.”

“She’s getting worse.”

“Take it from the man that bombed the UN to know what worse is.” Winnie muses.

“I accept the assistance but I can handle these two.” Zemo pours himself a cup of tea. “I have the will to complete this mission. Do the three of you?”

“She’s just a kid.”

“You’re seeing something in her that isn’t there. You’re clouded by it.”

“Sam, she is a kid, but she’s making some adult moves.” Winnie adds. “But she has done more for the displaced than the GRC ever did.”

“She’s a supremacist. The very concept of a Super Soldier will always trouble people. It’s that warped association that led to Nazis, to Ultron, to the Avengers.”

“You’re talking about our friends.”

“The avengers, not the nazis.”

“So, Karli is radicalized, but there has to be a peaceful way to stop her.”

“It would have to be in some neutral location. I don’t want any surprise attacks. Sam, you’d be the best choice.”

“The desire to become a superhuman cannot be separated from supremacist ideals. Anyone with that serum is inherently on that path. She will not stop. She will escalate until you kill her.Or she kills you.”

“Maybe you’re wrong Zemo. The serum never corrupted Steve.”

“Touche. But there has never been another Steve Rogers, has there?”

“One of a kind, a good man trained to be a soldier.”

“Well, maybe we should give him to the Wakandans right now.”

“And you’ll give up your tour guide.”

“Yes.”

“From my understanding Donya is like a pillar of the community, right? So when I was a kid my TT passed away.”

“Your TT?”

“Yeah, my TT, yeah.”

“Who is your TT?”

“Fine, when I was a kid,my aunt passed away, and the entire neighborhood got together for a ceremony. It was like a week long. Maybe they’re doing the same thing for Donya.”

“We’re not crashing a memorial.”

“Worth a shot.”

“Your TT would be proud of you.” Zemo tosses a piece of candy towards Sam “ Turkish Delight.”

He gestures towards Winnie.

“No thank you. I’ve read The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe, too many times to be taken in by perfume candy.”

“Shame what’s become of this place. When I was young, we used to come here for fabulous dinners and parties.I know nothing of the politics of the time, of course.But I remember it being beautiful.”

“I’ll play you a song from the smallest violin, later, what we need is information.” Winnie says from behind him.

“I’m gonna take a look upstairs.See what you can find down here. Keep an eye on him.”Sam says leaving the group.

“I’ll stay out of your way.”

Winnie looks around seeing small groups of children playing. She softly smiles.

“You like children?” Zemo asks softly.

“Yeah so.”

“Follow my lead.”

Winnie rolls her eyes but takes Zemo’s outstretched hand.

“Baa baa black sheep have you any wool.”

Winnie sings with him.

“Yes sir, yes,sir, three bags full. One for my master, One for the dame.” Zemo pulls out a bag of the same candy he had offered them, Turkish Delight.

“One for the little girl who lives down the lane.” He sets up a table and pours out the candy.

“Turkish Delight. It was always my son’s favorite.”

Winnie kneels down so she’s at the kids level.

“My old friend Donya passed away. Did you know her?”

“Yes.”

“I would like to pay my last respects. Do you know where her funeral will be?”

Zemo motions for the child to whisper to him the location. She whispers then turns towards him again.

“Is there something else?” He asks.

“Your wife is pretty.” She points towards Winnie.

Winnie smiles, keeping up the appearance.

Sam comes down and stands by Bucky.

“It’s starting to feel like a dead end.”

“The hell are they doing?”

“Do you see these men there?” Zemo asks the child softly.

“Zemo, darling.” Winnie adds putting a hand on his shoulder.

“They are very bad, not to be trusted.” Zemo adds to the children. “Donya is our little secret, okay.”

Zemo and Winnie walk back to the two.

“Cute kids.”

“Ass.”

“Darling, there’s children present.”

“I don’t like them, together.” Bucky breaks the silence.

“I know Buck. I know.”

“Well I got nothing. No one is talking about Donya.”

“Yeah, it’s because Karli is the only one fighting for them.”

Winnie turns to Zemo.

“And she’s not wrong.”

“What do you mean?”

“For five years,people have been welcomed into countries that have kept them out using barbed wire. There were houses and jobs. Folks were happy to have people around to help them rebuild. It wasn’t just one community coming together. It was the entire world coming together. And then boom. Just like that, it goes right back to the way it used to be. To them at least Karli is doing something.”

“You really think her ends justify her means. Then she’s no different than him, or anybody else we’ve fought.

“She’s different. She’s not motivated by the same things.”

Zemo is making cherry blossom tea and brings it over.

“That little girl. What’d she tell you?”

“The funeral is this afternoon.”

“You know the Dora’s coming for you any minute.In fact they are probably lurking outside right now.Keep talking.”

“Leaving you to turn on me, once we get to Karli. I prefer to keep my leverage.”

Bucky stands up and walks over to him. He grabs the tea pot and throws it against the wall.

“You wanna see what someone can do with leverage.”

“Take it easy, don’t engage him. He’s just going to extort you and do that stupid little head tilt thing.”

Zemo straightens.

“Let me make a call.”

“Do you want some cherry blossom tea?

“No you go ahead.”

Zemo turns towards Winnie.

“Uh sure, I’d love some.”

Once Bucky leaves the room Winnie looks at Zemo.

“It’s rude to stare.”

“Infuriating Bucky isn’t going to help you in the long run.”

“You care a lot for him. Pity.”

“Why?”

“Because he will always throw himself into the fight. He will never settle down, or help himself, because not so deep down, he knows he’ll never lose the Winter Soldier side. You saw how easily he went back into it.He believes that he’s not worth the effort.What is that they say about old habits. Ah, they die hard.”

“Pissing me off isn’t helpful to you, either.”

“Why does the truth anger you so?”

“Because I believe that Buck is stronger than everything he’s been through.”

“You have great expectations for James.”

“I do.”

“You think he is worth the effort.”

“Yes.”

“So tell him.”

“Why would I trust you? Two seconds ago you were being a dick. Now I’m supposed to take your relationship advice.”

“So you do want a relationship with him.”

“I’m not talking to you, anymore.”

“How sweet the silence will be.” Zemo gives her a cup of tea.

“Fuck you.”

“Karli Morgenthau is too dangerous for you guys to be pulling this shit.” John and Lemar jog up to where the four are.

“What happened to tracking John?” Sam asks Winnie.

“Someone must have disabled it, it was working before.”

“Ah! How’d you find us now?”

“Come on. You really think two Avengers can walk around Latvia without drawing attention?”

“No more keeping us in the dark.”

“It was nice while it lasted.” Winnie adds to Sam.

“And you..” John walks up to Winnie,” Stop messing with my suit and my shield.”

“Doesn’t feel too good to get tracked by your own stuff, huh.”

“You are interfering with the United States Government.”

“What are you gonna do, kill me.”

“Don’t.” Bucky grabs Winnie’s arm and pulls her back.

“You could start by telling us why you broke him out of prison.”

“He did that himself, technically.”

“This better be an unbelievable explanation.”

“Take it easy before it gets weird.”

“Too late.”

“I know where Karli is.”

“Well, where?” John stops Zemo with a hand on his chest.

“All we know is, it’s a memorial. So we’re going to intercept her there.”

“I still don’t like the idea that we’re crashing a memorial.” Winnie adds.

“That means civilians. High risk of casualties.” Lemar adds.

“Which means we need discretion, you two aren’t exactly subtle.” Winnie gestures between John and Lemar.

“All right, we’ll move in fast. Take her by surprise.” John says.

“Did he not hear me?” Winnie asks outloud.

“I want to talk to her alone.” Sam nods at Winnie.

“I’m not losing her again.”

“You won’t, if you let Sam talk to her. This is his bread and butter.”

“Look the person closest to her died, she’s vulnerable. Now is the best time to reason with her.”

“No wait stop! Hold on! I think we’re way past reasoning with her,unless you forgot that she blew up a building with people still in it.”

“So did Zemo, and he’s here.”

“Winifred, if you really lov…” Zemo starts and is muffled by Winnie’s hand.

“Sam if you walk in there cold, she could kill you.” Lemar reasons with Sam.

“If I go in hot and the op goes wrong, more people will die.”

“You’ll let him do this. You’re gonna let your partner walk into a room with a Super Soldier alone.”

“He’s dealt with worse, and he’s not my partner.”

“I used to counsel soldiers dealing with trauma, okay. This is in my wheelhouse, like Winnie said.”

“I know. And I know those soldiers, which is why I know this a bad idea.”

“Wait John, if he can talk her down, it might be worth a try.” Lemar reasons with John.

“We’ll deal with you later.” John says to Zemo.

“I’m sure it will come to an agreeable conclusion. My associate is just up ahead.”

Zemo leads the way to the small girl he was talking to earlier.

“Hello my friend.” Zemo gives her money,” This is for your family. Can you show us the way?”

The child motions for Zemo and the group to follow her.

“What the hell?”

“Language.” Winnie warns. “ Come on John, there’s a kid.”

The child leads them to the building.

“Karli is in there.”

“All right.” Sam goes in alone.

Zemo is handcuffed to a pipe.

“Hey, you got ten minutes.

“Really?”

“Then we’re doing things my way.”

“Aggressive.” Zemo comments. “ But I get it.”

“John, you okay?” Winnie asks as she watches him begin to pace.

“No, I’m not okay. I wasn’t expecting to see Sam and Bucky, two avengers, an ex member of Shield, and a terrorist that bombed the UN.”

“Okay, and neither did I when Bucky and I came out here. But we’ve done a pretty good job so far.”

“A pretty good job? Really?”

“Yeah, actually with less resources than you have.”

John waits and readjusts his cowl across his nose.

“John.”

“Whatever it is Winnie, I’m not in the mood.”

“I’m not trying to antagonize you, but you really don’t seem okay. Take a few breaths. Sam’s a good man and he knows how these things go.”

Bucky looks up watching Winnie.

“I also know that you want to be a good man. You want to be the best Captain America, you can. And to do that you need a clear head, and some good people around, and a big ass heart.”

“A big ass heart isn’t going to help.”

“I think it helped Steve.”

“Well I’m not Steve.”

“I know. No one is asking you to be Steve, John.”

“She’s right.” Zemo adds.

“Good call, the terrorist agrees with you, Winnie.”

“I’m trying to genuinely help you. Don’t be a dick.”

“You could have helped more by joining us. That tracker you put on my shield is still being dissected. Your modifications on old shield tech is incredible.”

“Governments have agendas and blind spots. I’m not getting back in just to be told it’s happening again.”

“So what’s next then, for you?” John asks.

“I don’t know, but I’m sticking with Sam and Buck until the end of the line.”

“Don’t ever say that again!” Bucky snaps.

Winnie recoils hurt from his words and the silence grows.

She looks over when John begins pacing and talking to himself.

“Nope No, this is a bad plan.”

“It hasn’t been ten minutes. Just sit tight.”

“Don’t do that. Don’t patronize me.”

“He knows what he’s doing.”

“I’m going in.” John walks up to Bucky. He stops John.

“This is all real easy for you, isn’t it? All that serum runnin through your veins. Barnes, your partner needs backup in there.”

“Lemar.” Winnie nudges him and gestures to John,” Has he always been this intense?”

“He’s got a lot on his plate.”

“Lemar no bullshitting me, is John okay?”

“Yeah, he’ll be okay.”

“Care to make a wager?”

“Sure. what’s the bet?”

“If John snaps,you owe me, Bucky and Sam:Juicy Lucys, fries and malts once we’re stateside.”

“If he doesn’t, you owe us a steak dinner. The works.”

“Deal.” Winnie puts out her hand for Lemar.

“Deal.” Lemar shakes her hand.

“What about me?” Zemo asks.

“Malts aren’t for terrorists.” Winnie answers.

“Neither are steak dinners.”

“Karli Morgenthau, you’re under arrest.” John calls out.

“This is what that was.”

“No, wait.”

“Tricking me until help came.”

“We had enough time to talk.”

“Nazi”

“Why don’t you.”

Karli shoves John and the shield against the table.

Winnie helps John back up, he shoves off of her.

Bucky goes after Karli as does Lamar.

Sam helps Winnie up and the two run through trying to find Karli.

“Shit.”

“I lost her.”

“So did we, and John’s a dick.”

“This place is a maze.”

“Pretty smart move though. We need to find Karli before John or Zemo do.”

Zemo finds Karli and shoots at her following her through the pipe room. He shoots twice more. To avoid him, Karli vaults over a table, her pouch of the serum vials falling to the floor with her. The blue vials litter the floor. Karli starts to crawl towards it but Zemo shoots once more. She finds cover behind the table.

“Is this what I think it is.” Zemo asks. He picks one up.

“No no no.” Karli starts.

He throws it to the ground, the glass vial shattering. Zemo stomps on them. Karli runs out seeing that Zemo is busy. The shield flies out of the air and knocks him out.

Sam, Bucky and Winnie run in to see John.

“You found Zemo, good.” Winnie says.

“What did we miss?”

Back in Zemo’s home he rests on the couch with a wash cloth on his head.

“Anything new from Sharon.”

“No, just keep an eye on John.”

“Were you ever offered it?” Zemo asks Sam.

“What?”

“The serum.”

“No.”

“If you had been, hypothetically, that is, would you have taken it?”

“No.”

“No hesitation. That’s impressive.”

“Sam, you can’t hold out hope for Karli. No matter what you saw in her, she’s gone. And we cannot allow that she and her acolytes become yet another faction of gods amongst real people. Super soldiers cannot be allowed to exist.”

“Isn’t that how gods talk?”

“And if that’s how you feel, what about Bucky.”

“He never chose anything.” Winnie asks.

Sam takes Zemo’s silence for a chance to continue.

“Blood isn’t always the solution.”

Bucky comes back in.

“Somethings not right about Walker.”

“Clocked that a mile away. I made a bet with Lemar.”

“ What kind of bet?”

“I think John is unstable. He’s gonna snap at someone. And when he does we get cheeseburgers and malts.”

“You can’t make a bet like that. It’s wrong.”

“Lemar knows John better than I do. And he has faith in John. That should make us feel a little better.”

“What does he get if John doesn’t crack?”

“Him and John get a steak dinner.”

“Steak dinner vs cheese burgers, the classic American battle.” Zemo adds.

“Well get ready to eat a burger, Sam, I know a crazy when I see one. Because I am crazy.”

“Can’t argue with that.”

“Shouldn’t have given him the shield.”

“I didn’t give it.”

“Well Steve definitely didn't.”

“All right. That’s it. Let’s go. I’m now ordering you to turn him over.”

“Hey, slow your roll.”

“Shield or no shield, the only thing here you’re running is your mouth. Now I have Katli and you overstepped. He’s actually proven himself useful today. We’re going to need all hands on deck for whatever’s comin’ next.”

“How do you want the rest of this conversation to go, huh. Should I put down the shield, make it fair?”

“Malts here we come.” Winnie adds sending a smirk over to Lemar.

John puts down the shield and a woman dressed in crimson, and gold armor throws a spear.

“Woah.” Winnie looks from the woman, to Sam, to Bucky as if to ask if they saw that too.

More women in armor with spears come into the room.

“Are they the Dora Milaje?” Winnie asks Bucky.

He nods.

The lead woman speaks to Bucky in a language Winnie has never heard before. Even she knew that whatever they were here for wouldn’t end well for Zemo.

“Release him to us now.” The woman says.

“Hi, John Walker, Captain America.” John introduces himself. “Well let’s put down the pointy sticks and we can talk this though huh. “

“Now he wants peace.” Winnie mocks.

“Not the time.” Sam says shaking his head. “John, take it easy, You might want to fight Bucky before you tangle with the Dora Milaje.”

“They don’t have jurisdiction here.”

“The Dora Milaje have jurisdiction wherever the Dora Milaje find themselves to be.”

“Okay. Look I think we got off on the wrong foot.” John claps her on the shoulder.

The woman looks at John’s arm and then him. She hits him with a spear multiple times then kicks him away, hitting the spear in the wall and back to the ground. He uses the shield to deflect a spear aiming for him and continues fighting the women.

Zemo continues drinking his cocktail.

“We should do something.”

“Yeah.” Winnie pulls out a bag of popcorn from her backpack. She offers some to Sam. He takes a handful.

“Looking strong, John.”

“Bucky.” Sam warns.

“So the Dora Milaje is the Wakandan army?” Winnie asks the two guys as they watch the fight.

Bucky nods.

“The spears look beautifully made.”

“Ayo.” Bucky grabs the spear in the hands of one woman. “ Let’s talk about this.”

Sam and Bucky enter the struggle.

“ Guys!” Winnie yells.

“We’re a little busy!” Sam yells back to Winnie.

Winnie chases Zemo, but he gets the door and locks it.

“You’re a rat! You know that!” Winnie is banging on the door trying to break it.

Ayo taps Bucky’s arm in a few places and it falls off. She walks off towards where Zemo locked the door.

“He’s gone. Leave it.” She tells another warrior holding the shield.

“Did you know they could do that?” Sam asks.

“No.” Bucky puts back on his arm and rotates it. The vibranium shifts and hums as it moves back to place.

“You all right, man.” Lemar asks helping John up.

“They weren’t even super soldiers.” John gets up.

“I can’t believe he pulled an El Chapo.”

“I can, come on.”

“She said what? Hold on Hold on, I know. Listen pack an overnight bag and take the boys.”

“What happened?”

“Karli called Sarah. She threatened my nephews.” Sam turns back to his phone,”Okay. Go somewhere safe. Only pay in cash. All right? Let me know when you get there.”

“Damn.” Winnie’s expression grows serious. “ She can’t keep this up.”

“I know. I love you. I’ll never let anything happen to these boys.Okay, bye.”

“Karli wants to meet. She left a contact number. She said just me and Winnie.”

“Me?” Winnie asks. “ Why?”

“I didn’t ask.”

“I’m coming with you.”

“Karli!” Sam yells out.

Winnie walks with him, rocket boots and other weapons up her sleeves ready.

Bucky follows.

“You called my sister.That’s how we’re gonna play this.”

“I would never hurt her. I wanted to understand you better. I see you two didn’t come alone.”

“You have to end this now.”

“Karli there’s nothing good that can come from this. Just stop this from escalating. Just stop.” Winnie says.

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You don’t have to hurt anyone.”

“Sam, you’re just a tool in the regimes. I want to destroy. You’re not hiding behind a shield. If I were to kill you it’d be meaningless. I was going to ask you to join me.And you, Winnie, you’re not a tool, you’re a free agent. You could join us. I saw the gadgets the first time we fought. Also you were the closest to downloading all of our mugshots before we started erasing our trail. We could use you.”

“I can’t do that Karli.” Winnie shakes her head.

“Hey Sam,” Sharon’s voice says through Sam’s gear. “ Looks like new Cap is moving. Looks like he found them or maybe they found him.”

“It’s Walker.”

Sam and Bucky jump down colliding with Karli.

“ I’ll send you the location. Go!”

Bucky runs off in search of John.

Winnie kicks on her rocket boots and takes a running leap off the building following Sam.

Sam comes in through the ceiling, Winnie follows through the large hole.

He and Winnie watch as John bends a metal pipe.

“What’d you do?

“They’ve got Lemar.”

Sam and Winnie follow John.

Two super soldiers drop down from the ceiling. One takes on Sam, the other John.

John tosses the shield and hits one in the back and Sam lets his wings take the action.

“What’s with all the knives?”

“Guns are hard to get in Europe. Knives are stylish.” Winnie shoots one in the leg.

Bucky runs in and catches a knife.

Sam now has two super soldiers on him.

Bucky punches one

“You’re welcome.”

An electrified whip hits the other one and knocks them out.

“Sup.” Winnie nods.

Karli, armed with a knife, sees her moment to kill John. She takes it and then is grappled by Lemar dropping her to the ground. They get up and Karli punches him into a pillar in the middle of the room.

John goes over to Lemar.

“Hey. Hey. Hey.” John pats his face. “Lemar. Lemar. Lemar.”

“Shit.” Winnie says softly.

The Flag smashers and Karli flee.

Sam, Bucky, Winnie run after Karlie.

John jumps out of a window and slams onto the street below.

“Where is she?!?” John yells running after the one of the flag smashers.

John knocks the man down beside cement stairs and hits him with the shield. People begin to watch.

“It wasn’t me.” The man pleads. “It wasn’t me!”

John lifts his shield and brings it down several times. Onlookers take videos and scream.

Winnie leans her head on Bucky’s shoulder closing her eyes, away from what just took place in broad daylight, in front of people.

“He snapped.” Winnie whispers with tears in her eyes.

#bucky barnes x oc #bucky barnes imagines #bucky barnes #tfatws

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aflyingcontradiction · 3 years

Text

The Magnus Archives Relisten: Episode 125 - Civilian Casualties

Lends itself to isolation well. Too well, sometimes. - Statement of Terrence Simpson

With a line like that in the intro, you'd think this would end up being a Lonely statement.

Broken glass was pressed into his fingers, glinting red in the morning sun, and I knew with absolute certainty that he intended to kill us.

I'm imagining fingernails of broken glass here, the glass embedded in his hands, like a torture device and weapon in one.

I went back to the car to radio for help, but it – it didn’t seem to be working right; all I could hear from it was the – faint noise of static, and… what sounded like bagpipes.

So if you listen closely, the bagpipes start up at this point (quite loudly so they're hard to miss) but they don't actually stop for quite a while and in the end they're so soft that it's really hard to tell if they've stopped at all or if they're still there in the background, somewhere in the static, accompanying the violence. And the music keeps picking up intermittently and fading away again. My brain tends to hear melodies in static anyway (that my anxiety generally interprets as my phone ringing if I'm not currently listening to horror podcasts) so in the end I almost felt a bit ... haunted by bagpipes. In fact, I was still hearing bagpipes after the statement had ended.

They’re so like humans, that when they… baa, it doesn’t – it doesn’t sound like a sheep – Does that make sense? It sounds like a person pretending to be a sheep.

Yes. True. (I find the "Ooh, creepy" tone of this quite funny because I personally find that feature of sheep really adorable / hilarious. They're just all "Baa. I'm a sheep. Baa. Look at how sheepy I am.").

It was a paperback, old and unloved, with obvious signs of wear long before it found itself in this chaos.

That moment of "Oh. A Leitner." followed immediately by "Oh, please, for the love of God, don't touch the book!"

But I just couldn’t go on up there. I can’t stand the sound of bagpipes, and sometimes, at night, I still hear sheep in the distance.

In context, sheep noises as a trauma trigger / nightmare make perfect sense but I can't help but hear "Sometimes at night I still hear sheep in the distance" in that haunted tone and find it a bit unintentionally amusing.

I’m now sure Martin is actually avoiding me. - Jon

Seemed pretty obvious from the get-go, if you ask me...

Jon: You’re sure we shouldn’t just… tell her? Basira: I really don’t know how she’d take it. Not well. If we want to get it out of her, this is it.

Maybe this is just my "DON'T OPERATE ON A NON-CONSENTING PERSON JESUS FUCK!" reflex speaking but I'm not sure Basira is right about this. Sure, JON telling her would go badly, but she doesn't seem to have made any attempts to kill Basira yet and they both live at the Institute now so she has had plenty of opportunity. And perhaps Melanie is still sufficiently lucid to understand the whole "not wanting a Slaughter infection in your leg". They could've tried...

Melanie: GET OFF ME! GET OFF OF ME! I’LL KILL YOU, I’LL KILL YOU –

Okay, but seriously: HOW DID YOU THINK THAT WAS GOING TO GO, Jon and Basira? There was a pretty strong chance of her waking up to blood all over the place, Jon holding a scalpel and her not able to feel her leg. OF COURSE SHE'S GONNA FUCKING TRY TO MURDER EVERYONE WITHIN REACH!

My impression of this episode

I've said this multiple times but I find the way the Slaughter and music are related very intriguing and this episode played with that in a beautifully eerie way. (Yes, I know, bagpipes in Scotland are a bit on the nose, but I didn't mind that at all.) The violent scene itself was mostly just ... a bit gross. The subsequent scene of Jon doing amateur surgery on Melanie is a nailbiter and a half, though.

Favourite quotes

I suppose that’s the question with so much of violence, war. How much are you really in command of yourself, or others? I’m not sure what scares me more: the idea that deep down, everyone is in complete control of their actions, that everything is, on some level, intentional; or that ultimately we don’t have any control of ourselves at all, and the rest is just… rationalization.

#tma relisten #the magnus archives

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sleepy-baby-puppycat · 4 years

Text

MC gets turned into the purple sheep

As usual, MC and Solomon were fooling around with magic spells and something went wrong.

As in Solomon accidentally turned MC into a tiny, fluffy purple sheep and they were gonna be like that for at least a week.

Lucifer

Of course these chuckleheads would do something like this.

He tries to scold MC but it’s so hard to be mad at such a cute lil face, with those pretty eyes. And considering the fact that sheep and rams are a rather popular delicacy among demons... Lucifer keeps MC around him at all times to protect them from harm.

Lucifer won’t admit it but he enjoys having MC’s sheep form. It’s great for hugging when he’s stressed.

“So soft... Perhaps I should keep you like this, my pretty little lamb?”

Que distressed sheep noises

Once MC is human again, Lucifer always calls them his “little lamb” whenever they’re alone together.

Mammon

“Dafuq is this stuffed animal doing here—oh shit”

He panics for a long time.

Mammon tries to act like things are normal, but it’s not easy when his crush is a tiny vulnerable fluffy baby that could easily get eaten by literally anything and everything in Devildom.

He gets so protective that sheep MC has to run away from him when they want a second of peace, which always backfires because he hears their bell jingling.

“Ya can’t go runnin’ from your sworn protector! How will I make sure you don’t get gobbled up?!”

“MEHEHEHEHEHEH!”

“MC! Watch your language!”

When MC is human again, Mammon keeps a very close eye on them the next time Solomon is messing around with spells.

Leviathan

Levi sees this as an opportunity

He teases sheep MC by taking pictures of them for memes and goofy pictures until they get angry and hit their lil horns on his leg.

“LOL! Are you trying to ram me? So kawaii! You’re too small and weak, silly sheep!”

Levi will literally sit or lay on top of them to prove that they have no power against him. Which is just his excuse to nuzzle into MC’s soft wool but he doesn’t mention that.

Sheep MC will remember that

The very second the spell wears off, MC tackles him to the ground.

Satan

Oh no he’s in love

Satan won’t stop cuddling MC and telling them what a cute lil cotton baby they are

He almost cries whenever he hears the sound of a lil bell jingling getting louder and louder when they’re coming in his direction.

“Here they come! Here they come! Here they come! THEY HAVE ARRIVED!”

Satan gets so clingy and protective, he starts carrying MC around in a baby sling so he can enjoy his cute sheep until the spell goes away.

He’s a lil sad when MC is human again, but that doesn’t stop him from buying a collar with a bell for them.

Asmodeus

Asmo is mesmerized by MC’s pretty, sparkly wool coat and takes ALL the selfies for his Devilgram profile.

Even though MC is a sheep now, that won’t stop Asmo from brushing their wool and dolling them up with pretty bows while he gossips to them.

“Did you see the way that succubus in our class dyed her hair? What do you think?”

“Baa.”

“I KNOW right! She looks ridiculous with that cheap stuff! Like she can compete with all of this! You get me!”

Things aren’t different once the spell wears off, but Asmo makes a note to buy MC a bunch of cute clothes in that purple color

Beelzebub

“Lamb chops? Cotton candy? Mutton?? Marshmallow??!”

It doesn’t matter how he looks at them, all this big boy sees is food.

uh oh

MC spends most of the week running away from Beel, not wanting to get eaten of course. They have to hide themself among all the pillows in their room like camouflage a few times.

Beel gets over the hunger craze at some point though! No matter how yummy sheep MC looks, he’d miss cuddling with them.

He gives them the biggest hug when they’re back to their human form and treats them to dinner to apologize for trying to eat them.

Belphegor

Nope, that’s a pillow

Belphie doesn’t hesitate to pick MC up, put ‘em on his bed, and the lay on them like a pillow.

“Ooooh you’re really soft, like feathers and silk... I could stay like this for a while...”

He falls asleep.

There’s no escape for sheep MC. They’re stuck as Belphie’s nap time cuddle buddy for the whole week.

Not that they’re complaining

When MC is back to normal, Belphie surprises them with their own pillow that looks like their sheep wool.

#obey me swd #obey me shall we date #obey me prompts #obey me mammon #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me lucifer #obey me satan #obey me leviathan #obey me asmodeus #obey me mc #gender neutral mc

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theoneforwriting · 3 years

Text

My Blog Table of Contents

The Links

Ao3

organization thrives there, my main place to post anything

Wattpad

40 unpublished drafts and very old writing if you’re interested XD is dead

The messy reblog blog

Aka my main blog @lemonlinelights

Tumblr Links

Detroit Become Human

To live is to die master post- The most human thing is dying.

Marvel

Villainous July Master Post- The sides have been flipped! Prompt challenge.

Control- Pepper Potts is not to be trifled with.

Sander Sides

Let’s Burn The Book- Prologue for Umbrella Academy and Sander Sides Crossover that’s coming soon eventually?

Mr.Brownstone on repeat- Baa baa orange sheep have you any soul? Yes sir, yes sir, its an angry bull.

Podcasts

When you still want time- Ava had wanted to start smoking.

I’m a cat! I’m a kitty cat!- The Midnight Burger crew wants to get a cat. Except Caspar. Cherry happens to work at an animal shelter and own a moped.

Misc

The Stanley Para/Parabletober Master list. Prompt challenge.

Original Works

Mostly poetry and short stories

Windy-Poem

Whatever the hell that dream was if its not getting posted here its still getting written down somewhere.

I do have OC’s and a world they live in thats yet to be named, ask if you’re interested I guess. There’s Dave whose totally working a normal office job, Dave’s not by blood brother River, River’s girlfriend Amelia and the guy who keeps insisting on hanging around named Damian.

For the requests:

I don’t write NSFW

There WILL be inaccuracies of how the world generally works for the sake of the plot XD

The ask could be a complicated plot or just a general idea, I’ll tackle it the best I can. The more you tell me though the more it’ll be like what you’re thinking

Tags will have fandoms I’m familiar with

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love-pyramus · 3 years

Note

Hi, you're on a rock floating in space. Pretty cool, huh? Some of it's water. Fuck it, actually, most of it's water. I can't even get from here to there without buying a boat. A plane is shown flying from South America to Africa. The plane fades off the screen, and a lone, sad stick figure is shown standing on Africa. NARRATOR: It's sad. I'm sad. I miss you. The camera pans left across the globe to show more sad stick figures also standing on South America, North America, and Europe. CHORUS: How did this happen? NARRATOR: A long time ago- Actually, never, and also now, nothing is nowhere. When? Never. Makes sense, right? Like I said, it didn't happen. Nothing was never anywhere. That's why it's been everywhere. It's been so everywhere, you don't need a where. You don't even need a when. That's how "every" it gets. A long pause happens. NARRATOR: Forget this. I wanna be something. Go somewhere. Do something. I want things to change. I want to invent time and space, and I know it's possible because everything is here, and it probably already happened. I just don't know when to start, and that's exactly where it started. The sound of VCR fast forwarding plays. NARRATOR: Ooh, I paused it. I think there's a universe now. What's it made of? CHORUS: Quarks and stuff! NARRATOR: Ah, that's a thing, in a place. Don't like it? Try a new place, at a different time. Try to stick together because the world is gonna get bigger and emptier, but it's not empty yet. It's still very full and about a kjghpillion degrees. About no seconds pass. NARRATOR: Great news! The quarks are now happily married and in groups of three, called a proton or a neutron, and there's something else flying around too that wants to join in but can't because it's still too- An explosion goes off while the screen says, "HOT." 10 minutes pass. NARRATOR: Great news! The protons and neutrons are now happily married to each other. Some of them even doubled up. About 380,000 years pass. NARRATOR: Great news! The electrons have now joined in. Congratulations! The world is now a bunch of gas in space, but it's getting closer together... 10 million years pass. NARRATOR: ...and it's getting closer together... 500 million years pass. NARRATOR: ...and it's getting closer toget- An explosion occurs. CHORUS: It's a star! NARRATOR: New shit just got made. Some stars burn out and die. Bigger stars burn out and die with passion, and make some brand new, way crazier shit... CHORUS: Space dust! NARRATOR: ...which allows newer, more interesting stars to be made, and then die, and explode into- CHORUS: Even crazier space dust! NARRATOR: ...so now stars have cool stuff around them, like rocks, ice, and funny clouds, which can make some very interesting things, like this ball of flaming rocks for example. NARRATOR: Holy shit! We just got hit with another ball of flaming rocks, and it kind of made a mess, which is- CHORUS: Now the Moon! The year is now -4,000,000,000. NARRATOR: Weather update, it's raining rocks from outer space. NARRATOR: Weather update, those rocks might have had water inside them, and now, there's hot steam in the sky. NARRATOR: Weather update, cooler temperatures today, and the floor is no longer lava. NARRATOR: Weather update, it's raining. NARRATOR: Severe flooding alert! The entire world is now an ocean. NARRATOR: Volcano alert! CHORUS: That's land! OCEAN: (Mumbles) There's life in the ocean. NARRATOR: What? CHORUS: Something's alive in the ocean. IMMATERIAL OBSERVER (IO): Oh, cool. Like, a plant or an animal? The camera zooms in on a single-cell organism. NARRATOR: No, a microscopic speck. It lives at the bottom of the ocean and eats chemical soup which is being served hot and fresh, made from gnarly space ingredients leftover from when it was raining rocks or whatever. The cell divides. NARRATOR: Oh, yeah, and it can do that. Those cells divide many more times. NARRATOR: It has secret instructions written inside itself telling it how to build another one of itself. So that's pretty nifty, I would say. NARRATOR:

Tired of living at the bottom of the ocean? CHORUS: Now you can eat sunlight! The year is now -3,000,000,000. NARRATOR: Using a revolutionary technique, you can convert sunlight into food. CHORUS: Taste the sun! The year is now -2,300,000,000. NARRATOR: Side effect, now there's oxygen everywhere and the sky is blue. Then the Earth might have been a snowball for a while. Maybe even a couple of times. The year is now -500,000,000. NARRATOR: It's a sponge. It's a plant. It's a worm, and some other types of weird, strange water bugs and strange fish. CHORUS: It's the Cambrian explosion! IO: Wow, that's animals and stuff. SEA LIFE: But we're still in the ocean. Hey, can we go on land? CHORUS, as LAND: No! SEA LIFE: Why? CHORUS, as LAND: The sun is a deadly lazer! SEA LIFE: Oh, okay. CHORUS: Not anymore, there's a blanket. NARRATOR: Now the animals can go on land. Come on animals, let's go on land. FISH: Nope, can't walk yet. And there's no food yet, so I don't care. 100 million years pass. LAND: Okay, will you learn to walk if there's plants up here? SOME BUGS AND FISH: Maybe NARRATOR: ...said some bugs... and fish. The year is now -380,000,000. FISH grunts because it is struggling to get on land, for it has no legs. 5 million years pass. The year is now -375,000,000. FISH now has legs, for it has evolved into an AMPHIBIAN. AMPHIBIAN: Okay, so I can go on land, but I have to go back in the water to- CHORUS: Have babies! The word "idea" flashes on to the screen. NARRATOR: Learn to use an egg. AMPHIBIAN: I was already doing that. NARRATOR: Use a stronger egg. Put water in it. Have a baby, on land, in an egg. Water is in the egg. Baby, in the egg, in the water, in the egg. The year is -312,000,000. AMPHIBIAN OFFSPRING: Works for me. CHORUS: Bye bye, ocean! 50 million years pass. NARRATOR: And now everything's huge. Including bugs. Wanna see a map of the land? IO: Sure. The year is now -252,000,000. A globe is presented. The camera starts to pan around it when a large explosion happens, destroying a land mass on the globe the size of a continent. Text pops onto the screen reading "PERMIAN EXTINCTION." The Permian Extinction has occurred. NARRATOR: Oh fuck, now everything's dead. Just kidding, here are the survivors. The thrinaxodon, lystrosaurus, and proterosuchus are shown. NARRATOR: Keep your eye on this one... The proterosuchus is circled. 75 million years pass. NARRATOR: ...'cause it's about to become the dinosaurs. Here's another map of the land. The globe is shown again. It does not yet look like the Earth we know today; many of the continents are in pieces or out of place. NARRATOR: Yeah, it broke apart. Don't worry about that. It does that all the time. The year is now -66,000,000. NARRATOR: Here comes a meteor. A meteor comes into frame and hits the globe near what is today called Central America. CHORUS: And the dinosaurs are gone! NARRATOR: It's mammal time! Here come the mammals; look at those breasts. The year is now -15,000,000. NARRATOR: Now, they're gonna dominate the world, and one of them just learned how to grab stuff, and walk. The year is now -4,000,000. A transition from one of human's older ancestors to one of human's younger ancestors is shown. NARRATOR: No, like, walk like that, and grab stuff at the same time. The year is now -3,000,000. NARRATOR: And bang rocks together to make pointed rocks. IO: Ouch. The year is now -1,500,000. NARRATOR: And set things on fire. IO: Yeouch. The year is now -200,000. NARRATOR: And make crazy sounds with their voice. CAVEMAN: Gneurshk. NARRATOR: Which can mean different things. Via the CAVEMAN's thought bubble, "Gnerushk," is shown to mean, "Hi," "Bye," and, "Can you hand me that rock over there?" CHORUS: That's a human person! NARRATOR: And now they're everywhere, almost. Text pops on to the screen, above the landmass that is today called North America. It reads "not here yet." Humans have not migrated there yet. The year is now -20,000. Text pops on to the screen, between what is today the American

state of Alaska and the Russian autonomous okrug (district) of Chukotka. The text reads "ice age." The ice age is occurring, creating a land bridge between the two landmasses. CHORUS: Ice age! HUMANS: What? You can walk over here? Cool! The year is now -10,000. CHORUS: Not anymore. HUMANS: Well, I guess we're stuck here now. NARRATOR: Let's review. There's people on the planet, and they're chasing their food. HUMAN: Fuck it, time to plant some grass. Look at this. I control the food now. Now, everyone will want to be my friend and live near me. Let's all build houses, except mine is bigger because I own the food. This is great. I wonder if anyone else is doing this. The year is now -5000. NARRATOR: Tired of using rocks for everything? Use metal! It's underground. NARRATOR: Better farming was just invented in a sweet dank valley right in between these two rivers, and the animals are helping. A sheep baas in the background. CHORUS: Guess what happens next! NARRATOR: More food, and more people who came to buy the food, and you need people to help make the food and keep track of the sales, and now, you need houses for people to live in and people to make the houses, and now, there's more people, and they invent things which makes things better, and more people come, and there's more farming and more people to make more things for more people, and now, there's business, money, writing, laws, power. CHORUS: Society! NARRATOR: Coming soon to a dank river valley near you. Meanwhile, out in the middle of nowhere, the horse is probably being tamed. DISTRAUGHT HUMAN: Why is all my metal so lame and lumpy? NARRATOR: Tired of using lame, sad metal? The year is now -3300. NARRATOR: Introducing- CHORUS: Bronze! NARRATOR: Made from special ingredient tin from the far lands of Tin Land... I don't know, my dealer won't tell me where he gets it. Also, guess what? CHORUS: Egypt! The year is now -2000. NARRATOR: Meanwhile, out in the middle of nowhere, they figured out how to put wheels on a horse. Now, we're getting somewhere. Also- CHORUS: China! NARRATOR: And did I mention- CHORUS: Indus River Valley Civilization! A "society count" comes on screen. It lists the four civilizations just named (including Mesopotamia, the "sweet dank valley right in between... two rivers"), as the counter counts up from one to four. It pauses for a moment before ticking up to five. A fifth civilization appears on the list. The camera pans right across the globe to what is modern day Peru. CHORUS: Norte Chico! NARRATOR: The Middle East is getting more complicated. Maybe because it's in the middle of the East. The year is now -1600. PEOPLE WITH HORSES: Knock, knock. Er... clop clop. NARRATOR: It's the people with the horses, and they made an empire, and then everyone else copied their horses. CHORUS: Greeks! NARRATOR: Ah, look, it must be the Greeks. Or, a beta version of the Greeks. Text pops up on screen, reading "mycenaean greeks." These "beta version... Greeks" are the Mycenaean Greeks. NARRATOR: Let's check in with the Indus River Valley Civilization - they're gone. Guess who's not gone? CHORUS: China! The year is now -1200. CHORUS: New arrivals in India! Maybe it's those horse people I was talking about, or their cousins, or something... And they wrote some hymns and mantras and stuff! NARRATOR: You could make a religion out of this. The year is now -1150. NARRATOR: There's the Bronze Age collapse. CHORUS: Now, the Phoenicians can get down to business! HUMANS: (Offscreen) Also, can we switch to a metal that's a little easier to find? Bronze switches to iron. HUMANS: (Offscreen) Thanks. NARRATOR: Look who came back to Israel - it's the twelve tribes of Israel! CHORUS: And they believe in God! NARRATOR: Just one though; he's got like a ten step program. NARRATOR: Here's some huge heads. Must be the Olmecs. The year is now -800. NARRATOR: The Phoenicians make some colonies. The Greeks copy their idea and make some colonies. The Phoenicians made a colony so big it makes colonies. The year is now

-671. NARRATOR: Here comes the Assyrian Empire. The year is now -600. NARRATOR: Nevermind, it's the Babyloni- The year is now -580. NARRATOR: Media- The year is now -500. CHORUS: It's the Persian Empire! IO: Wow, that's big. NARRATOR: Ah, the Buddha was just enlightened! IO: Who's the Buddha? NARRATOR: This guy, who sat under a tree for so long that he figured out how to ignore the fact that we're all dying. You could make a religion out of this. The year is now -475. NARRATOR: Oops, China just broke, but while it was breaking, Confucius was figuring out how to have good morals. The year is now -400. NARRATOR: Ah, the Greeks just had the idea of thinking about stuff... The year is now -330. NARRATOR: ...and right over here, Alexander just had the idea of conquering the entire Persian empire. It's a great idea. He was... Great, and now he's dead. Hopefully, the rest of the gang will be able to share the empire evenly between them. The year is now -305. CHANDRAGUPTA: Knock knock. NARRATOR: It's Chandragupta. He says- CHANDRAGUPTA: Get the hell out of here. Will you get the hell out of here if I give you five hundred elephants? Okay, thanks. Bye. CHORUS: Time to conquer all of India! NARRATOR: Er- CHORUS: Most of India! IO: But what about this part? NARRATOR: That's the Tamil kings. No one conquers the Tamil kings. IO: Who are the Tamil kings? CHORUS: Merchants, probably... And they've got spices! TAMIL KINGS: Who would like to buy the spices? ARABIANS: Me! NARRATOR: ...said the Arabians, swiftly buying it and selling it to the rest of the world. The year is now -221. NARRATOR: Hey, China put itself back together again, with good morals as their main philosophy! Actually, they have three main philosophies. Confucianism, Taoism, and legalism appear with the corresponding messages under: having good morals, go with the flow, and "fuck you obey the law". The land northwest of Qin China, which is roughly modern-day Mongolia, is circled. NARRATOR: Out here, the horse nomads run wild and free, and they would like to ransack your city. The horse nomads repeatedly bump into China with the coin sound effect from Super Mario playing each time they do so. The camera pans left on the globe back to the Ancient Greek Empire. NARRATOR: Let's check the Greekification levels of the Greekified kingdoms. Greekification overload! PARTHIANS: Bye. NARRATOR: ...said the Parthians. JEWS: Bye. NARRATOR: ...said the Jews. PARTHIANS: Hi! NARRATOR: ...said the Parthians, taking over the entire place. The year is now 1 CE. ROMANS: Heyyyyyyyy... NARRATOR: ...said the Romans, eating the entire Mediterranean for breakfast. JEWS: Thanks for invading our homeland. NARRATOR: ...said the Jews, who were starting to get tired of people invading their homeland. The year is now 30 CE. JESUS CHRIST: Hi, everything's great. NARRATOR: ...said some guy, who seems to be getting very popular, and is then arrested and killed for being too popular, which only makes him more popular. You could make a religion out of this. NARRATOR: Want silk? Now, you can buy it from China. They just made a- CHORUS: Brand new road to the world! China conquers Vietnam. CHORUS: Or you can get there on water! INDIA: Sick! New trade routes. NARRATOR: ...said India, accidentally spreading their religion to the entire southeast. Funan is highlighted. NARRATOR: Hm, that's a good place for an epic trading kingdom. The sound of a zooming car plays. NARRATOR: There goes Buddhism, traveling up the silk road. The year is now 220. NARRATOR: I wonder if it'll reach China before it collapses again. The year is now 225. NARRATOR: Remember the Persian Empire? PERSIANS: Yep. NARRATOR: ...said the Persians, making a new one. Axum is getting so powerful they would like to build a long stick. Has anyone populated Madagascar yet? BANTU and MALAY: Let's do it together! The year is now 280. CHORUS: China is whole again! The year is now 320. CHORUS: Then it broke again. NARRATOR: Still can't cross the Sahara Desert? Try camels! CHORUS, as

GHANA EMPIRE: Hell yeah! Now we've got business! NARRATOR: ...said the Ghana Empire, selling lots of gold and slaves. ROMAN CHRISTIAN: Hi, I live in the Roman Empire, and I was wondering- CHORUS, as ROMAN CHRISTIAN: Is loving Jesus legal yet? ROME: No. The year is now 330. CONSTANTINE: Actually, okay, sure. NARRATOR: ...said Constantine, moving the capital way over here to be closer to his- CHORUS: Main rival! CONSTANTINE: Don't worry about Rome; it won't fall. The year is now 400. CHORUS: It's the golden age of India! NARRATOR: There's the Gupta Empire, not Chandragupta, just Gupta... First name Chandra... The First. Guess who's in Rome. CHORUS: Barbarians! NARRATOR: What's a barbarian? ROMANS: Non-Romans. NARRATOR: ...said the Romans, being invaded by non-Romans. The year is now 476. NARRATOR: R.I.P. Roman Empire. Er, actually just half of it; the other half is just fine, but it's not in Rome anymore, so let's give it a new name. CHORUS: The Mayans have figured out the stars! NARRATOR: Oh, and here's a huge city, population: everyone. The year is now 576. NARRATOR: The Göktürks have taken over the entire Eurasian steppe. Great job, Göktürks. How's India? Broken. How's China? CHORUS: Back together. NARRATOR: How's those trading kingdoms? CHORUS: Bigger, and there's more of them. NARRATOR: Korea has three kingdoms. Japan has a kingdom; it's the sunrise kingdom. An intermission occurs. The year is now 610. NARRATOR: Deep in the Arabian desert, on the top of a mountain, the real god whispers in Muhammad's ear, so he goes down to the cube where everyone worships gods, and he tells them their gods are all fake... The year is now 622. NARRATOR: ...and everyone got so mad at him that he had to leave town and go to a different town. You can make a religion out of this... The year is now 650. NARRATOR: ...and maybe conquer the world as well. The Roman Empire is long gone, but somehow, the Pope is still the Pope! Plus, there's- CHORUS: New kingdoms all over Europe! NARRATOR: I wonder if there's room for Moors. The year is now 786. NARRATOR: Here's all the wisdom, in a house: it's the Baghdad House of Wisdom, just in time for the- CHORUS: Islamic Golden Age! SWAHILI: Let's bring stuff to the coast, and sell it, and become the Swahili on the Swahili Coast. NARRATOR: ...said the Swahili on the Swahili Coast. NARRATOR: Remember this tiny space you have to go through to get from here to there? Someone owns that now. NARRATOR: Wanna get enlightened in the middle of nowhere? NARRATOR: The Franks have the biggest kingdom in Europe, and the Pope is so proud that he invites the king over for Christmas. The year is now 800. POPE: Surprise! You're the new Roman Emperor! NARRATOR: ...said the Pope, pretending to still be part of the Roman Empire. Then, the Franks broke their kingdom into what will later be called France and Not France. The Northerners (or just Norse, if you don't have much time) are exploring. They go north, from the north, to the northern north, and they find some land, two types of land, and they name them accordingly. Large text comes on screen reading, "prankd." NARRATOR: They also invade some other places and get called many names, such as Vikings. The year is now 882. NARRATOR: There's the Rus, the Kievan Rus. IO: Are they Vikings? KIEVAN RUS: I don't think so. NARRATOR: ...said the Kievan Rus. IO: Okay, fair enough. NARRATOR: The Pope is ready to make some more emperors of the Roman Empire, the Holy Roman Empire. It's actually Germany, but don't worry about it! New kingdoms! DISTORTED VOICE: CHRISTIANIZE ALL THE KINGDOMS! NARRATOR: Which brand would you like? ROMAN CATHOLIC CHURCH: Mine's better. EASTERN ORTHODOX CHURCH: Mine's better. ROMAN CATHOLIC CHURCH: Mine's better. The year is now 1066. WILLIAM THE CONQUEROR: Time to conquer England. NARRATOR: ...said William. The year is now 1071. NARRATOR: It's a bird! It's a plane! It's the Seljuk Turks! BYZANTINE EMPIRE: Aah! NARRATOR: ...said the Byzantine Empire, who's getting so small it almost doesn't

exist anymore. BYZANTINE EMPIRE: We need help! NARRATOR: They need help, so they call the Pope. BYZANTINE EMPIRE: Hey, Pope, can you help us get rid of the Seljuks? Maybe take back the Holy Land on the way? Come on, I know you want to take back the Holy Land. POPE: Yes, I do actually want to do that. Let's do a Crusade. The year is now 1099. CHORUS: Crusade! NARRATOR: They did many crusades, some of which almost didn't fail, but at the least the Italians got some sweet trade deals. The year is now 1100. NARRATOR: Goodbye, Mayans. CHORUS: Hello, Toltecs! NARRATOR: Goodbye, Toltecs. CHORUS: Hello, Mississippi! NARRATOR: Look at those mounds! There's the Pueblo. I've always wondered how to build a town on a cliff. The year is now 1150. NARRATOR: Guess who's here? Khmer! IO: Where? NARRATOR: Here, and Pegan is there! Vietnam unconquered itself, Korea just became itself... The year is now 1192. NARRATOR: ...and Japan is so addicted to art that the military might have to take over the government. China just invented bombs and typing... The year is now 1230. It rapidly starts to count upward as the Mongols spin and fly all over north Asia. The year ends on 1259. NARRATOR: ...and the Mongols just invaded most of the universe. (sarcastically) Nice going, Genghis! I bet that will last a long time. The Mongol Empire that was just formed shatters. NARRATOR: Some of the Islamic Turks were unaffected by the Mongol invasions because they were busy invading India. Bright, happy text comes on the screen reading, "tonga time." NARRATOR: Is it Tonga time? TONGAN: I think it's Tonga time! Text comes on screen reading, "colonizing the pacific ocean..." The Tu'i Tonga Empire forms. NARRATOR: I just found out where the Swahili gets all their gold! It is shown that the gold comes from the Great Zimbabwe, as the Great Zimbabwe is highlighted. NARRATOR: Look at this "chad" (it means lake). There's an empire there, right in the middle of- CHORUS: Africa! The year is now 1324. NARRATOR: The King of Mali is so rich, he's going on tour to let everyone know. NORTH AFRICA and THE MIDDLE EAST: Wow, that guy's rich. NARRATOR: ...everyone said. The Christians are doing a great job reconquering Iberia, which will soon be called Spain and Not-Spain. IBERIAN PENINSULA: Please remain Christian. We will check in later to see if you're still Christian when you least expect. The year is now 1350. NARRATOR: Whoops! Half of Europe just died! CHORUS: Ming! NARRATOR: China's back, yay! The year is now 1400. Hey Khmer, time to share! New kingdoms here and there. Oh, look who controls all the islands. It's the Mahajapit- The buzz of an "incorrect" buzzer buzzes. NARRATOR: Majahapit- Buzzes. NARRATOR: Mapajahit- Buzzes. NARRATOR: Mahapajit- Buzzes. NARRATOR: Mapajahit- Buzzes. NARRATOR: Ma-ja-pa-hit? The ring of a "correct" bell rings. The year is now 1450. NARRATOR: Oh, Italy's really rich. Time for them to care a lot about art and the ancient classics. It's kinda like a re-birth. The text on the screen reads "renaissance". NARRATOR: Here's a printer, let's make books! BYZANTINE EMPIRE: So you think you can conquer the Byzantine Empire? OTTOMAN TURKS: Yep. NARRATOR: ...said the Ottoman Turks. Nice job, Ottoman Turks! The year is now 1453. NARRATOR: Oops, you missed a spot. Don't forget to ban Europe from the Indian spice trade. PORTUGAL: What? That's bullshit! NARRATOR: ...said Portugal, spiceless. CHORUS, as PORTUGAL: Well, I guess we'll have to find another way to India! CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS: Wait! NARRATOR: ...said Christopher Columbus, probably smoking crack. COLUMBUS: If the world is round, let's go this way to India! PORTUGAL: Nah, don't worry, we already got this NARRATOR: ...said Portugal. So Chris goes to Spain. COLUMBUS: Hey, Spain, wanna hire me to find India by going around the back of the world? SPAIN: No. COLUMBUS: Please? SPAIN: No. COLUMBUS: Please? SPAIN: No. COLUMBUS: Please? SPAIN: Okay. The year is now 1492. NARRATOR: So he sails into the ocean and discovers... More

ocean... And then discovers the Indies and Japan. The year is now 1494. SPAIN and PORTUGAL: Let's draw a line to decide who gets which half of the world. NARRATOR: The Aztec and Inca Empires are off to a great start. I wonder if they know that Europe just discovered their continent? NARRATOR: The Hapsburgs are marrying into so many royal families that they might have to start marrying each other. The year is now 1500. NARRATOR: Move over, Lithuania! Here comes Moscow. Ivan wants to make Russia great again. Move over, Timurids; maybe go invade India or something. The year is now 1501. NARRATOR: Persia just made Persia Persian again. Let's make it the other kind of Islam, the one where we thought the first guy should have been the other guy. ROMAN CATHOLIC CHURCH: Hey, Christians! Do you sin? Now you can buy your way out of Hell. MARTIN LUTHER: That's bullshit, this whole thing is bullshit, that's a scam, fuck the church. Here's 95 reasons why. NARRATOR: ...said Martin Luther, in his new book which might have accidentally started the Protestant Reformation. SULEIMAN THE MAGNIFICENT: You know what would be magnificent? NARRATOR: ...said Suleiman, wearing an onion hat. The year is now 1530. SULEIMAN: What if the Ottoman Empire was really big, which it is now? The year is now 1556. IVAN THE TERRIBLE: What if Russia was big? NARRATOR: ...said Ivan, trying not to be terrible. NARRATOR: Portugal had a dream that they controlled the entire Indian Ocean, including the Spice Trade... and then that dream was real. And Spain realized that this is not India, but they pillaged it anyway! ENGLAND and FRANCE: Damn. NARRATOR: ...said England and France. ENGLAND and FRANCE: We gotta start pillaging some stuff. NARRATOR: Then, the Dutch revolt, and all the hipsters move to Amsterdam. The year is now 1600. AMSTERDAM: Damn. NARRATOR: ...said Amsterdam. AMSTERDAM: We gotta start pillaging some stuff. ENGLAND, FRANCE, and THE DUTCH: Question 1: Can you get to India through North America? No, but at least there's beaver. Question 2: Steal the Spice Trade. NARRATOR: That's not a question, but the Dutch did it anyway. CHORUS: Sugar! The year is now 1640. NARRATOR: Guess where all the sugar is made. In Brazil- THE DUTCH: Stolen! NARRATOR: -In the Caribbean, and it's so goddamn profitable that you might forget to not do slavery. The next thing on Russia's to-do-list is to get bigger. The year is now 1754. NARRATOR: Britain and France are having a friendly discussion about who should control the entire world, more specifically Ohio. Then it escalates into a seven year discussion, giving Prussia a chance to show Austria who's boss. IO: But what about Britain and France? Did they figure out who's boss? NARRATOR: Yes, they did! It's Britain. Guess who's broke. Also Britain, so they start taxing the Hell out of America. The year is now 1776. AMERICA: Fuck you. NARRATOR: ...says America, declaring their independence and fighting for it, and France helps them win. Now, France is broke... The year is now 1788. NARRATOR: ...and Britain will have to send their prisoners to a different continent. IO: Wait, if France is broke, why do the king and queen still wear such fancy dresses? The year is now 1794. ROBESPIERRE: Let's overthrow the palace and cut all their heads off! NARRATOR: ...says Robespierre, cutting everybody's head off until someone eventually got mad and cut his head off. IO: You could make a religi- NARRATOR: No, don't. Haiti is starting to like the idea of a revolution... The year is now 1791. NARRATOR: ...especially the slaves, who free themselves by killing their masters. TOUSSAINT L'OUVERTURE: Why didn't we think of this before? IO: Wait, who's in charge of France now? The year is now 1804. CHORUS, as NAPOLEON: Me! NARRATOR: ...said Napoleon, trying to take over Europe. Luckily, they banished him to an island- CHORUS: But he came back! NARRATOR: Luckily, they banished him to another island. A burst of horns play. NARRATOR: There goes Latin America, becoming independent in the Latin

American Wars of Independence. They last from the year 1812 to about 1830. NARRATOR: Britain just figured out how to turn steam into power, so now, they can make- CHORUS: Many different types of machines, and factories with machines in them, so they can make a lot of products real fast. NARRATOR: Then, they invent some trains and conquer India and maybe put some trains there. BRITAIN: Hey, China! NARRATOR: ...said Britain. BRITAIN: Buy stuff from us! CHINA: Nah, dude, we already got everything. NARRATOR: ...says China, so Britain tried to get them addicted to opium, which worked, actually, but then, China made it illegal... The year is now 1839. NARRATOR: ...and dumped it all into the sea, so Britain threw a hissy fit and made them open up five cities and give them an island. Britain and Russia are playing a game where they try and stop each other from conquering Afghanistan. Also, the- CHORUS: Sultan of Oman lives in Zanzibar now. NARRATOR: That's just where he lives. The year is now 1857. NARRATOR: India just had a revolution, and they would like to govern themselves now. BRITAIN: Nope. NARRATOR: ...said Britain, governing them even harder than before. The screen reads, "HI I JUST SENT YOU A MESSAGE THRU A WIRE," while the Morse Code for "SEXLOL" plays in the background. CHORUS: Technology is about to go crazy! The year is now 1863. NARRATOR: The United States finally figured out whether slavery is good or bad. ABRAHAM LINCOLN: It's bad. NARRATOR: ...they decided, and then, they continued manifesting their destiny, which is to kill the rest of the natives and take their land and maybe kick out the Mexicans too. The year is now 1884. EUROPE: I know! Let's rape Africa. NARRATOR: ...said Europe, scrambling to see who could rape it the fastest. (They never got Ethiopia.) Britain and France are still hungry! (They never got Thailand.) The United States ran out of destiny to manifest, so they're looking for more. CHORUS: Hawaii and Cuba! IO: Wait! Spain controls Cuba! UNITED STATES: Well, blame something on them, and go to war. AMERICANS: What should we blame on Spain? The U.S.S. Maine explodes in the Gulf of Mexico. UNITED STATES: Let's blame the Maine on Spain NARRATOR: ...so they blame the Maine on Spain. The year is now 1898. AMERICANS: Now, we're in business! NARRATOR: To celebrate, they kick Panama out of Panama and make a canal, connecting the two oceans. The year is now 1908. NARRATOR: Britain just found oil in the Middle East. (It makes cars go.) The year is now 1911. NARRATOR: China is so tired of being bossed around that they delete their old government and make a new, stronger government, which is accidentally weaker and controlled by a guy from the previous government. Europe hasn't had a war since the last war... The year is now 1914. NARRATOR: ...so they start World War I. Look at those guns! It's gonna be a "Great War" - so great we won't need a second one. After it's over, they blame Germany. The year is now 1917. NARRATOR: Russia went on strike, and the workers overthrew the government. Now, everyone's paycheck is the same. The year is now 1922. CHORUS: Communism, in the Soviet Union! NARRATOR: The Arabs revolt... The year is now 1917. NARRATOR: ...and Britain helps. BRITAIN: (Offscreen) Now, the Ottoman Empire is gone, The year is now 1922. BRITAIN: (Offscreen) So we can give the- CHORUS: Jewish people a place to live! NARRATOR: Hopefully, the Arabs won't mind. SYKES and PICOT: Let's cut the cake! NARRATOR: ...said Sykes and Picot, cutting up the remains of the Not-So-Ottoman-Anymore Empire. The year is now 1923. CHORUS: Except Turkey! Turkey makes a brand new Turkey! NARRATOR: ...and then, the Saudis conquer Arabia. It just seemed like the right thing to do. A phone rings. IO: Hello? THE 1920s: Yes, it's the 1920s calling. Let's get in a car and drive to a party and listen to jazz on the radio and go to the movies. The economy is great, and it will probably be great forever- just kidding! A slide whistle with decreasing pitch briefly plays.

The year is now 1933. NARRATOR: Germany is back, featuring Hitler, the angry mustache model, and he's mad at the Jews for existing. Japan is finally conquering the East, and they're so excited... The year is now 1937. NARRATOR: ...they rape Nanking way too hard. They should probably just deny it. The year is now 1945. NARRATOR: Hitler's out of control, so the international community tackles him and tries to explain why killing all the Jews is a bad idea. But he kills himself before they could explain it to him. CHORUS: That's World War II! NARRATOR: Bonus Round! Air horns momentarily play in the background. NARRATOR: (Like Announcer from Mortal Kombat) Pacific Showdown: United States versus Japan! Fight! A drop-down menu that reads "weapon select" pops up, and the U.S. cursor moves down from "boat" to "plane" to "extinction ball." It is picked, dropped on Japan, and an explosion results. The year is now 1945. NARRATOR: (Like Announcer from Mortal Kombat) Finish him! Another one is dropped, and another explosion follows. NARRATOR: Let's unite all the nations and have some- CHORUS: World peace! NARRATOR: Seems legit. GANDHI: Hi, I'm Gandhi, and if Britain doesn't get the Hell out of India, I'm gonna starve myself in public. The year is now 1947. Britain leaves. GANDHI: Wow, that worked? NARRATOR: Bonus! Now, there's Pakistan. Actually, two Pakistans; one of them can be Bangladesh later. The Jews and the Arabs finally figured out which one of them should live in the Holy Land. JEWS and ARABS: Me! NARRATOR: ...they both said at the same time. The year is now 1947. UNITED NATIONS: Let's divide up the land so everyone's happy. CHORUS: Sike! They both get angrier. NARRATOR: Look out, China! The year is now 1949. NARRATOR: There's a new China in China! What's on the menu? PEOPLE'S REPUBLIC of CHINA: Communism! REPUBLIC of CHINA: No, thanks. NARRATOR: ...said the other China, escaping to an island. I wonder which one is the real China? The year is now 1950. NARRATOR: There's the Korean War: Korea versus Korea. Nobody wins and then it's on pause forever. Let's meet the sponsors! Oh, it's the two global superpowers. They're having a friendly debate over which economic system is good and which one is an evil virus of Satan. And they both have atom bombs. NARRATOR: (With an echo) FIGHT! NARRATOR: Wait, no, that would be the end of the world. Let's just keep it cool and spy on each other instead, and make sure we have enough atom bombs. The year is now 1957. SOVIET UNION: I'll race you to space. The year is now 1969. An American rocket ship is shown to land on the moon. SOVIET UNION and UNITED STATES: Now, let's make some more countries fight themselves. NARRATOR: Europe is tired of pillaging other continents, and the continents they were pillaging are tired of being pillaged. So here's a new map, with new countries! Now, you can't tell who they're being pillaged by. The year is now 1963. NARRATOR: The United States finally decided whether racism is good or bad. They decided it's bad, and the world agrees. South Africa might need another minute to think about it. Let's check the world population. A graph is shown, displaying a spike upward in population that jumped from "a billion" at the beginning of the 1800s to "way more" around the beginning of the 2000s. IO: Whoa... Okay. NARRATOR: Technology is better too; that might keep happening. The Soviet Union decides to relax a little... The year is now 1991. NARRATOR: ...and accidentally falls apart. Europe makes a union... The year is now 1999. NARRATOR: ...so now, they can all use the same money, except Britain 'cause they don't feel like it. Let's check the mail! Surprise! It's on the computer. The year is now 2001. NARRATOR: Whoops, someone just attacked America. I bet they'll remember that. Phone call! Surprise! It's in your pocket. Wanna learn everything? Surprise! It's on the computer. Now, your phone's a computer, which is in your pocket. A chart of the 2008 economic recession is shown. NARRATOR: Whoops, the economy just

crashed. Don't worry, the big banks won't fail because they're not supposed to. Surprise! Flying robots, with bombs. Wanna print a brain? Some people have no friends, some people have no food, the globe is warming- CHORUS: And the ocean is full of plastic! EVERYBODY: Let's save the planet! NARRATOR: ...said everybody, not knowing how. The year is now 2028. THING INVENTOR INVENTOR: Let's invent a thing inventor. NARRATOR: ...said the thing inventor inventor, after being invented by a thing inventor. That's pretty cool. By the way, where the Hell are we?

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