#lesser and necessary evil' is something I always hate hearing

[idkwhatimdoingbutslay]

I RESPECT people's opinions, of course! But misinterpreting the Firelights will IMMEDIATELY get me HEATED!!!!

#post in the arcane tag that frustrated me…. #lesser and necessary evil' is something I always hate hearing #and even the tag on their post that says they're projecting their own government on piltover ( #which is completely understandable) #IDK MAN I HAVE THOUGHTS #silco no doubt did things for the Undercity as a city but I don't think he did much for them as a people? #the firelights deserve to rebuild their community from within before fighting the big bad #and even if the firelights wanted to… take down (?) Piltover’s government… how would they even do that? #thoughts aren’t thoughting rn but that’s all I’m gonna say… for now #the firelights #to slay or not to slay #I won’t talk about the vi because we’ve all spoken about this a million times

[ffxivaltaholic]

Prompt #18: Devil's Advocate

“Stealing is wrong.” With a scowl, the Raen crossed his arms.  “End of story.”  Holding a sharp tone, the man glowered at his companion.  “You know better too.”   This was a conversation they had gone through many times before, especially early in the years of their relationship, and while he knew she had improved, Kaze was fully aware that his second wife was still a bit of a thief.                                              “Okay BUT, Hear me out!” 

Her voice wavered slightly, though the Miqo’te woman did her best to try and be confident.  “What if- and let me finish- what if it is necessary?” The words seemed to have no effect on the Raen’s scowl and he huffed with annoyance, moving to sit across from her at the desk. “No. It’s still wrong.”  Glancing to the jewelry on the desk, Kaze couldn’t possibly see a situation where stealing such items was vital to one’s survival. “Okay but, what if I had to steal food, because I would starve otherwise?” Maybe she knew it was wrong, but N’akani was the type to argue for the sake of the argument itself, whether she believed in her side, or simply enjoyed stirring the pot a little. Kaze took a moment to sip at his coffee, finding it the only bit of peace he’d had all morning. “That’s different, though still wrong. Taking food to avoid starving is still stealing, and while I understand the need to survive, and I agree it may be necessary in that situation, that has nothing to do with this jewelry you took.”   Giving a little grunt of annoyance, it seemed her attempt to derail things was failing. “But, what if my plan was to sell this jewelry, to buy food. For one measly little necklace, I could eat for days, instead of having to take food every day and steal multiple times. Really it’s the lesser of evils.”  Did the woman ever really listen to herself talk? Probably not, as her logic was questionable at best. “Regardless of the situation you are trying to paint, you took something that wasn’t yours. On top of that you are not some starving kid on the streets. You’re a grown woman with a job, a home, and a family. You have no need to take anything. If you really wanted something you only needed to ask.”  His frustrating was showing through in his tone and how the Raen enunciated the words.  At this point, the Seeker was better to grovel and apologize than to continue her tangent. “I’m sorry... I really liked it and the merchant was being so mean! I wanted to teach him a lesson.” She broke, dropping her sophist attempts and lowering her ears. This was a look Kaze was used to and he gave a low sigh.  With her ears lowered and big kitten eyes locked on him, the Raen started to cave and his anger subsided. At the end of the day she was relatively harmless. “Regardless, it is wrong.  I would make you return it, but I would rather not have you reported and detained.” The amount of paperwork was tedious and he didn’t have time.  “I’m going to return it and explain that you’ve been punished and it will not happen again. And it better not. Understood?”  The tone was stern and she sank a little in her chair. Finally the Miqo’te woman nodded and offered a weak pout.  “Okay.....” At least in her mind, she got off fairly easy this time... “You’re cleaning the Chocobo Keep all week. I’m going to check every day that it’s done.”  Punishment delivered, and one of the worst for the woman. Cleaning. She hated chores, but little was worse than either cleaning the stables, or the company bathrooms.  Not only that, but it was for the entire week. A small whine left the woman, but she did not complain, as her partner would not budge and there was always the risk of more chores tacked on top. “Okay.........” With a small sigh, Kaze reached out to pet her ears.  “I don’t like being so cruel but, you need to stop this behavior. It puts you at risk, and I don’t want you getting hurt.”  With that he picked up the necklace and left her to her new chores.

“Uhggg I hate cleaning the stables...”

#N'akani Azren #ffxivwrite2021 #She can be a pain in the ass #but she's adorable #Unfortunately her mate is now immune to her charms #so she comes up with convoluted stories instead #even though simply apologizing would be better #Kaze Makkuro

[darkpoisonouslove]

“The Shadow Phoenix” Thoughts

Here comes the last special. Honestly, I am kinda nervous about this because they are shoving the whole season 2 in one episode and I have a feeling that that will not go well. Unless, of course, they thought of making more but abandoned it after this special but I highly doubt that since I think I’ve seen the final showdown in s2 being in this special. Hopefully, it won’t be a full disaster. I just don’t know what to expect anymore.- “her ghostly sister - Daphne”? This recap is on thin fucking ice (pun unintended). Careful with the wording there! This sounds horrible. There are better ways to put it.

- Wait, new outfits for Winx? Really? Ugh!

- Shadowhaunt is happening already. But hey, it’s Layla! And she managed to free the pixies! Wasn’t that supposed to fail, though? Or are they just trying to save time and remove the second trip to Shadowhaunt for the pixies? (Hey, does that mean no Amentia? Please and thank you!) I hate Darkar’s new voice.

- Oh, no! He got them back. But were those shadow tendrils in the original? I think I would remember them if they had been.

- Well, Layla got to Alfea fast. I know they are trying not to waste time but this is cutting down on the suspense. At least she is already bonding with Winx (and especially Musa).

- That scene with Darkar freeing the Trix was completely destroyed. First, they never got to show why Lightrock is so horrible (and it is horrible even to me although I haven’t had an evil routine). Not to mention that they never said how Darkar learned about them which was in s2. And they’re back at Shadowhaunt. What happened to Gloomix?

- Nvm, he gave it to them but they never got to try it on Lightrock guards. Such a shame! Also, calling him “master”? And even repeating it twice? They are acting like docile stupid minions. Say what? The Trix would never! I am pretty sure that wasn’t in s2 even if they still knelt. This is fucked up, them kneeling in front of him. Talk about wrong implications.

- Why did Faragonda only send Bloom and Stella? So that we can’t have the others in a scene? Or so that they can lose against the Trix who just had a power-up? Also, how is it that when they think no one will know they are sneaking around, the one they’re trying to ambush always knows that they’re there?

- Yeah, just send the fairy of sunlight underground where there’s no sun! Logic! And they didn’t recognize the Trix at first? Those are obviously not “things”, Bloom. Though, she might have suffered a concussion from the way they blasted her into the ground.

- “Shadow whirlwind”? What, did Darkar somehow imbue them with his own essence through the Gloomix and now they have shadow powers? I also resent the implications in this so, hopefully, I am wrong and this is just a coincidence.

- What did Darcy do to Bloom? And will they just keep calling him “The Phoenix” instead of Darkar? Please, no! That is somehow actually worse than Lord Darkar.

- Ugh, fake Avalon. Here we go. Though, at least he wasn’t in the first 1/4th of this. That’s something.

- The bonding with the pixies is cute. But did Tune just say “you rock”? Tune? The pixie of manners? What have they done? Smh.

- But can you keep them safe? Can you really, Faragonda? You sent them in Shadowhaunt instead of going yourself! Or at least accompanying them! And you’re not gonna get better at protecting them from here on.

- Daphne is too little in that dream of Bloom’s. If she was still a kid when Bloom was born, that means that she should be aging while she’s a spirit and we already saw that she was all grown up when Bloom was a baby in that flashback in “Revenge of the Trix”. This is illogical and she actually looks even younger than she does in the corresponding dream in s2.

- Ugh, that scene with the flowers! Why are they all crushing on him? And he’s using it against them. Also, is it possible that it was him that somehow brought on the dream about her parents? How else could he tell that she had a dream? Shouldn’t they discuss her birth parents in private also? Everyone is there listening. At least they’re back to their normal outfits.

- Is Sky jealous just from hearing Avalon’s name? That was better done in s2. They are really just chopping off everything that isn’t absolutely necessary and it kinda fucks up even the necessary things.

- At least it was Helia that offered them to see his sketches and not Stella grabbing them from him... which I think was what happened in s2.

- Are the Trix just gonna steal the Codex right now? From this celebration? Otherwise, they will have to go to Red Fountain twice and half the episode is almost up. Well, I guess not. Instead we get more Bloom and Sky stupidity. Bloom isn’t nearly as obsessed with Avalon as she was in s2 (she hasn’t had the time here) and he has no reason to be acting the way he is.

- “Listen, Sky, do me a favor and hang up the phone.” XD I love it! She finally told him off! And she really looks more interested in Avalon’s help with her parents rather than with him here. All I know is that I’m on her side this time while in s2 both she and Sky were being stupid but I understood him more. But he keeps being his douche-y self.

- Flora just daydreamed the monster that was supposed to attack Red Fountain but didn’t? Wow. Wow! WOW! ... Okay.

- Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, my god. Scratch everything I said about the Bloom and Sky drama. She not only started talking about it to Avalon, she hugged him! Wtf! Bloom, you do realize that you’re just giving Sky proof for his words, right? Maybe she was looking for consolation but she could have sought it out with her best friends aka Winx who we’ve seen absolutely nothing of (except for Flora but that is only because they just introduced Helia). That was so not in s2. I would have remembered that fuckery. And then Avalon goes all “perhaps you’re better off without him”. This is predatory behavior! He is distancing her from the people that care about her. I loathe all of this! Bloom, please, I have a little more faith in you than I did in s2. Snap out of this! I know he will be the one turning her dark but that can still happen if her dealings with him are only because of her parents. Can we end the nauseating undertones of this?

- “You may leave a message after the tone. But not if it’s you, Sky”. *bursts into laughter* I’m sorry. This is just too sassy, I can’t. It’s good. Even if Sky is actually the lesser evil.

- At least Flora isn’t having Layla snooping around in Helia’s room this time. She just decided to go for it. That’s better.

- Well, we’re finally back with the Darkar plot. But wait... The nostalgia spell is actually... how he gets to Pixie Village this time? Winx didn’t stop it? I know they’re saving time but damn! His plans have a very high success rate in this case (since everything has worked so far) which will just make it more ridiculous when they defeat him.

- Why are the Pixie elders actually in Pixie Village? The Codex is just one part? They’re gonna skip the whole “going to every school and Pixie Village to steal all four parts of it” thing? Well, that’s stupid. There was no suspense whatsoever here. We don’t even know what the Codex does! And Darcy and Stormy have also gone MIA like everyone from Winx except Bloom (and Flora). This is really just gliding downhill with the speed of light.

- Bloom, you stupid bitch! Now she’s kidnapped. And they just butchered the whole storyline of s2. Also, guess it was the real Avalon that was evil. Great! Then Faragonda fucked up even more by letting him in Alfea. Still think you can protect them? And now she’s sending the students to rescue Bloom alone... again. I know she’ll get there eventually but, goddammit, this is illogical, not to mention irresponsible.

- Why the fuck are there four pixies of the Codex if there’s only one part of it? You make no sense, writers!

- Yeah, Shadowhaunt is underground but you can totes get there with a ship. Makes perfect sense!

- Darkar was Avalon all along? EPIC LEVELS OF FAILURE ON FARAGONDA’S PART! She didn’t even for a second realize this? Isn’t he supposed to, idk, give off insane levels of dark energy? What the hell?!

- Well, of course, he has an army... that he won’t even control himself. I hate all of this! All of it!

- Helia has had exactly three seconds of characterization and about as many lines. The whole thing with him not wanting to fight was just erased. Not that it went anywhere even in s2 but still. It was a touching point for him and Flora who is also anti violence. And here there is zero ground for a romance between them. They just met, like, five seconds ago and never had the opportunity to get to know each other... at all. Which reminds me...

- Layla never became a part of the team. She was just with them in the previous mission to Shadowhaunt but none of the bonding was here. I know that they didn’t have much time at all for anything but they could have put one or two super short scenes in which some bonding happens between her and the rest of Winx. Because here she is pretty much a stranger to both them and the audience. We don’t even know what she’s like and what little we saw of her wasn’t exactly the way it should have been. Oh, look, they barely even gave her a transformation! Epic fail here as well.

- At least Bloom wasn’t strapped to that table like she was about to be sacrificed to the darkness... which was actually kinda what happened.

- Did they just got rid of the Trix? What was even the point of bringing them in? Darkar could have done absolutely everything on his own. All of this was absolutely useless! I. Hate. It!

- We never even saw Kerborg as a bat. He is just that monster now. *sigh*

- “Did you really think we would not come to help?” Well... The only reason I thought they would help was because I knew they would since I’ve already watched how this goes down in s2. But honestly, they’ve been leaving their students to deal with everything so if I didn’t know where this was going, the answer would have been “Damn right, I thought you wouldn’t”.

- “That was a workout”, he says after crushing a monster out of existence by being magically enhanced. What is wrong with the writers? Although, I guess this is better than him boasting he handled the monster on his own like in s2.

- Watching the portal open with just one part of the Codex is so wrong. And anti climatic.

- Of course, the pixies of the Codex can just open the door to Relix. Of fucking course they can. Makes perfect sense. Honestly, I am mad about this but the original with the color “riddle” wasn’t much better anyway. At least they didn’t waste time on it here so I guess this is better on that account. I mean, if it’s not gonna make sense anyway, might as well just take the shorter one, right?

- Did they fire against Bloom or was it just a coincidence that their powers disrupted her concentration.

- “You saved my life once”? Are they gonna pass what happened at Magix as saving his life? Because I am pretty sure in s2 he meant what happened in 2x10. And this is also stupid. It shouldn’t work after that drama they had. Everything was all over the place and they never got the chance to fix it. Not to mention that no part of the other bonding they had happened here. They only showed one moment they had together in that flashback, because that was all they got. They never really connected so this shouldn’t work!

- Oh, Darkar started absorbing the Ultimate Power already? Not that it matters. That last attack is more intense at least. But I am still pretty pissed about a lot of things. Including the fact that they never explained about the Shadow Fire and that it is the opposite of the Dragon Fire.

- They defeated the Shadow Phoenix but they can’t even get a decent photo.

I was wildly disappointed in this. I thought it would be bad considering they are shoving the whole season in one special but I could have never expected that it would be... this! Most of the suspense is drained from it thanks to the butchered storyline. If you put that aside and consider it its own thing, the plot got resolved but the pacing was horrible and there was no build-up to anything. Not to mention that there were things that felt like they were a second thought and were out of place (aka the Trix and the whole Flora and Helia subplot that went fucking nowhere.) It was pretty bad as a reimagined version of s2 and pretty meh as a standalone thing.

#winx club #winx bloom #winx darkar #winx avalon #winx faragonda #anti sky #anti bloom x sky #winx layla #winx specials #the shadow phoenix #thoughts #review

[grasslandgirl]

Ok for that super long post im gonna send you like four and you can pick whichever you like bc your writing is so good and i can’t pick just one SO: “Just stay a little longer. Please.” For daisy/basira

maggie you are the SWEETEST AHH ok sorry for getting on these so late but here we go OK

------

It was dark in the archives. Not the Dark-dark, Basira remembered that from Ny-Alesund, how it clung to the edges of your vision like static and made everything dim and fuzzy. (She still had nightmares about Ny-Alesund, about Jon looking at their dark sun, about escaping from the encroaching darkness and it’s protectors via Helen’s tunnels- the lesser of two evils- but that was neither here nor there. Basira had a lot of nightmares.) No, this was the normal dark, the kind of childhood bedrooms, or the corner on your street with no lamp post. Completely mundane, utterly normal, and somehow all the more terrifying for it’s lack of the supernatural. 

It was dark, and Basira could hear screams and shouts and shots from what seemed like all angles as she dashed through the winding halls. The more she found out about Jonah Magnus and Robert Smirke and their fascination with the Entities as a group, the more she understood- the darkness of the halls and the stacks of the archives, the winding passages and back halls of the Institute, the scratching in the walls she heard some of the Institute employees- ones who still thought the Jane Prentiss incident was little more than an out of control bug infestation- discussing in the break room; there was something about the institute that made her feel like Elias- Jonah- whoever had been piecing together the Entities for far longer than any of them had anticipated, if she only had the time to look a little closer-

But she didn’t have the time. And really, given what had happened to Jon, she shouldn’t be looking any closer into anything, if she could help it. 

So it was dark, and there were noises from all around that would make nearly anyone other than Basira Hussain- ex cop, assistant archivist, possible servant to an evil beholding god- shake in their boots. But Basira was good at thinking on her feet, good at blocking out all information that wasn’t immediately requisite. It was a necessary part of the job. More than that, it had saved her life on multiple occasions.

If Basira had had the time or the energy to be sentimental, she might’ve thought about how it was part of what made her and Daisy such a good team- Basira was good at the detail, the minutia, picking out what was important out of big picture and running with it; whereas Daisy was always good at the big picture stuff, long term threats, risk-gain evaluations in the blink of an eye, knowing when to hold Basira back, looking before they leapt, and when to follow into the fray. 

Basira missed Daisy. Not always, not even most of the time, but sometimes- times like this- she missed Daisy-that-was, Daisy-the-hunter, Daisy-of-the-Hunt. She missed her instincts, her senses, her skill in a fight. It hurt Basira, in a quiet, personal place she never let anyone- not even Daisy- see, to watch Daisy, tired and emaciated. Grinning through rigorous physical therapy, not because she enjoyed it, not from any inch of happiness, but because Daisy knew Basira needed to see it. Because Daisy hated it when Basira worried, and hated it more when Basira worried about her. Basira didn’t want to miss Daisy, the Daisy-that was, Hunt-Daisy, but in moments like this, when the Not-Them was stalking the halls of the Institute again, and Julia and Trevor had shown up with bloodlust in their eyes- Basira recognized that, knew it from how Daisy used to look in the last moments of a chase, when she knew she had all but pinned down her quarry; Basira didn’t miss that Daisy- and when Martin and Jon were nowhere to be found. 

Basira didn’t ever admit it (but that didn’t make it any less true), but she missed the Daisy that would always have her back.

Because this Daisy, Daisy-without-the-Hunt, Daisy-the-Human, Daisy-the-pale-and-thin-and-tired; Basira didn’t know how to fight alongside her. Basira couldn’t fight alongside her, because she would always feel the urge to fight in front of her, to protect this new, fragile Daisy. And Daisy would hate that, too. 

Basira was at the edge of the Institute, now. Some far-flung corner with seldom-used offices and dusty storage. Any shouting she heard was far in the distance, on the other side of the building. Basira ducked into one of the offices, closing and locking the door silently behind her, and finally allowed herself a few spare seconds to take stock of everything. 

There was a stitch in her side from running- she was out of practice, having left the force, and weaker than she used to be. She was out of breath and panting, but the adrenaline hadn’t run out yet, and she needed to take as much advantage of that as she could.

Slowly, as Basira leaned against the door and caught her breath, the memory of her last few seconds with Daisy washed back over her; the dam of numbness finally breaking. 

Her heart tightened in her chest, her breath caught in her throat- Daisy, shifting. Daisy, eyes turning to red-tinted slits. Daisy, her voice low and growly as she demanded Basira run. Daisy, alone against the hunters against the Not-Them. 

Daisy, making Basira promise to kill her the next time she saw her.

Basira took it back, all of it. She didn’t want this Daisy back. 

She wanted Daisy back, period.

She squeezed her eyes shut, even though it didn’t do much to stop Daisy’s voice ringing in her ears, that last image of Daisy, crouched and ready by the door as Basira turned to run. Basira tightened her hands into fists at her sides, short nails digging into the meat of her palms.

She exhaled, once, sharply. She opened her eyes. 

She had to keep moving. 

She had to get back to Daisy.

------------

Daisy leaned against a wall, somewhere. Everything was blurry, and the scent of blood was making it hard for her to focus. Every breath, something in her jumped at the scent, only to realize again, every second, that the blood around her was old, dead. 

It roared in her ears like waves, like blasting music, like screams; and Daisy hated that she didn’t hate it. That there was something comforting about the rush, the go-hunt-go-blood-kill-go feeling, the weight of the teeth in her head, the gun in her hand. She hated how she knew who she was in the Hunt; how sometimes it felt like it was the only time she knew who she was.

They were gone- all of them, in one way or another. The Not-Them had splintered- almost. It wasn’t dead, something in Daisy was sure of that, but between three hunters, they had done enough to push it back, out of the institute, back into some dark hole to lick it’s wounds. It would be back, she was positive; but it was gone for now. Trevor had gone next. He was old, and thought the Hunt had given him back his lungs, his strength, his speed, it wasn’t enough. Julia had fared better, and under different circumstances, Daisy might’ve killed her too. As it was, Julia wasn’t used to hunting without a partner, and Daisy was; that made all the difference. She wasn’t dead either, but she had slunk away from the Institute, and Daisy wasn’t dead either. Not yet.

She was tremulously and decidedly aware of every injury on her body, every spot of blood. It felt, almost, like she was back in the Buried. Frozen, unmoving, an unbearable weight pushing down on her, with no one willing to dig down and get her out. Only this time, it was the weigh of the Hunt, of the blood whispering in her ear again, lying over her shoulders like a mantle. She was so, so tired.

Daisy had closed her eyes, maybe for a minute, maybe for hours, when she heard- smelled- sensed something else moving in the institute. Instantly, she was on high alert, sitting shock still and straining to make out who- what- was coming. 

Orange and cardamom and bergamot. Somehow, Daisy smelled it over the blood, all the blood. She wanted to pry her eyes open, wanted to sit up, wanted to run- away or towards, she didn’t know- but the weight of the blood was holding her down. Daisy didn’t move.

The scent got stronger.

“Oh,” Basira breathed, and something caught up and tangled inside Daisy’s chest. 

‘Promise me.’

‘No. No, Daisy, we’ll figure something out.’

‘These last few months… it was always borrowed time, wasn’t it? Can’t outrun it forever.’

‘Daisy...’

‘Promise me.’

‘I promise.’

‘Thanks. Now run.’

Her last words to Basira, the promise she made Basira make, flashed in Daisy’s mind, all screaming and growls and gunshots.

Basira had looked beautiful; Daisy had noticed it in the last few moments before the blood washed over her entirely, leaving her the Hunt’s plaything once again. Her eyes were wide and warm and brown, and her hijab was perfectly arranged, despite the old, stained scarf she was using. She was wearing one of Daisy’s old sweaters, and the gun in her hand looked more like a shiny metal part of her arm than a weapon. She was angry and determined and terrified, and deep down, buried far below all that, Daisy saw that Basira was heartbroken. 

But she had turned and run anyway. Because Daisy had told her to.

But now she was back, and Daisy didn’t know what she was going to do.

Daisy didn’t know what she wanted Basira to do, at this point. 

“Daisy?” Basira murmured, and Daisy felt her kneel down beside her. She didn’t smell like blood, Daisy noticed, and tried to focus on that. On the same orange, cardamom, and bergamot lotion Basira had used for years. It was warm, and citrusy, and it had been one of the first things Daisy had noticed upon meeting Basira for the first time- the scent of her lotion. 

Basira, Daisy thought desperately, Basira.

But there was too much blood, too many teeth in her mouth to speak.

“Daisy,” Basira repeated, and it was less of a question this time, more of a confirmation. A prayer, Daisy would say, if she didn’t know better. “Daisy,” Basira said, and it sounded like she meant, I’m sorry.

“Daisy,” Basira said, and it sounded like she meant, I came back for you anyway.

“Daisy,” Basira said, and it sounded like she meant, just stay a little longer, please. 

“Daisy,” Basira said, and it sounded like she meant, come back to me.

And Daisy pushed against the weight, felt the pressure of Basira’s hand on her knee, the scent of her familiar lotion over the blood, and forced her chin to rise, just a little.

And through the blood and the teeth and the pain, Daisy said, “Basira,” and it sounded like she meant, I’m staying.

[this got WILDLY out of hand.... whoops!! but anyway daisy and basira are safe and in love and happy and i dont CARE WHAT JONNY SAYS! 

send me prompts from this list and a pairing/ fandom and I’ll get to it eventually!]

[planets-and-prose]

The Refugee

Withering, a shell of herself, one of the Verdant, the last of her settlement, waits for a miracle. But when it comes...will it look like what she expects?

Anura held her breath as she clutched her hands to her chest and sunk down behind a large rock. Deep breaths. Deep, deep breaths. Air wasn’t as necessary for her species as it was for others, but…it helped sometimes. And now, she needed all the calm she could get. The gunshots still echoed in her ears as her people were crippled by the Galactic Peace Federation. Somehow, they’d found her small planet. Everyone had said it was impossible, but occasionally, whispers snaked through her settlement, bringing fear that settled onto her chest like a boulder.

Now, the fears had come true.

Her people, the Verdant, had had a choice—take what the GPF offered and slowly abandon their culture and life for those of another world, or react with hostility. They had chosen the second—none of their people had ever left their planet, but previous visitors (mostly non-human) had given them ways to communicate. They’d heard of the GPF, and communication always became eerily silent after they “visited.” Anura’s people didn’t exactly know WHAT the GPF did…but they figured that it likely wasn’t good.

As such, her leader and her parents had stood up to the GPF, declined their offer to “help” them become more “civilized.” They’d refused to “help participate in an experiment for prosperity.” The GPF had been impressed that her people spoke their language, but it had been patronizing, like being impressed that a child could string a sentence together. A few had even been hostile toward the GPF, and since her people had been preparing for this for a while, they did have weapons. Metal was scarce on her planet, so the weapons weren’t conventional, but Anura was able to make do. There had been tension, a tentative peace. The GPF people looked like they were about to leave. They entered their ship, powered it on.

Then, slaughter.

They’d turned their guns on Anura’s settlement, shooting down her people from safety. Anura had run right away; she knew that this wasn’t a fight she’d win. But she didn’t see her leader run. She didn’t see her parents run. It was just her. Alone, too far from her home. She ran and ran until the noises faded away. A part of her wished she’d stayed, died as she’d lived. After all…what was left for her now? Did anyone survive besides her? Sure, there were more settlements on her planets, but they wouldn’t last. So, where was there to go?

Anura looked around and knelt on the lush, beautiful ground of her home, savoring the soft sensation of plants hugging her legs. A tiny part of her worried that she’d never feel it again. What would happen if the GPF saw her? She wasn’t human; her body was a unique amalgamation between human and plant. A rootless plant who looked mostly like a person and survived on nothing but water and sunlight? Perfect for experimentation, for dissection. All she could do was run. Hide.

It wasn’t enough. Anura had been steeling her courage to run again when she felt a hand close around her wrist. She cried out and started to struggle before her captor began to talk. His voice was smooth like oil—it ebbed and flowed beautifully, but there was something dirty about it, disgusting, that clung to Anura and made her sick. “Excellent. You can help us,” he said. “We’d love to talk with a few of your other settlements. But we don’t want to have to hurt them. We were just defending ourselves, and we feel horrible about doing what we did. If you’re there to tell the other people that we just want to help, no one has to get hurt.”

“You…you do not help,” Anura gasped, continuing to pull away. But soon, someone else grabbed her other arm.

“I know it’s hard for you to understand, but we really do help. We’re here to bring you technological miracles, make your lives easier. Have you ever wanted to communicate with different planets? Fly across the galaxy? We can help you do that. We have medicine that can heal any wounds, ways to make every day much easier. Do you understand?”

She understood, alright. She understood that if she didn’t make the rest of the settlements react favorably, that it would just end in conflict. And in conflict, her people would lose. She understood that her cooperation wasn’t a choice; she’d either save the other settlements and preserve their lives, or be an experiment herself as she watched her people die. She understood that no matter what she did, she’d be witnessing the death of her people’s culture, but if she helped, that tradition might live on in little whispers through the grass, soft talks under twinkling stars, stories of days long gone.

Anura hated it, but she certainly understood.

She nodded at the GPF people that held her, and they tentatively let her go. “Perfect. Here, let’s introduce ourselves to the next settlement over. And then maybe you can help us understand your people a little bit better.”

“How would you like me to help?” she asked, not really wanting to know the answer.

“Come live with us on our ship while we stay here. That way, we can see how you live your daily life, and what parts of our culture your people might like. It would also help to see how your physiology—your bodies—work. So that we can better help you.” You’re reducing my people to me. We’re different. Quickly, Anura realized that might not be quite the case. Her being alone was a venue for manipulation, isolation. She would never forget how they thoughtlessly gunned down a whole town that did nothing to fight back and hadn’t done so much as drawn blood from any of the GPF.

“Okay,” Anura murmured, almost choking on the word. It was too big, too significant, too heavy. It meant she’d given up any of her freedom. She might die in their ship. It might be docked moments from her verdant homeland, but spiritually, she’d be galaxies away.

“Good girl,” another man said, and Anura felt herself shrink. She was no longer Anura, a daughter, a friend, a citizen. She was a specimen, bound to the will of those with weapons.

But it was a small price to pay for the lives of those on her planet. ————— It was months before another ship showed up.

In that time, Anura had been a sort of ambassador for the GPF. She’d accompany them to other civilizations, sing their praises. Talk about how wonderful the GPF was and how much they’d helped other areas. And slowly, she got people to believe her. The GPF made it easy as well; they were nothing if not masters of propaganda. It even took Anura a good amount of effort to remember that their narrative of the “gentle GPF who tragically had to fight back when a civilization rejected their gifts” was false. The month was a wild river of gaslighting, manipulation, and invalidation of her beliefs, and Anura could barely keep her head above water.

She didn’t want to help these people who hurt her family, her friends, her settlement—or at least she thought she didn’t. At first she did it because she didn’t want the other settlements to meet the same fate as hers did. And then…she’d been so thoroughly isolated, so cut off from everything, that she did it for the little validation the GPF gave her. Every day, Anura remained on their ship, and every day, she felt like an outcast. The tiny bits of praise for her “diplomacy” were scraps of bread to a starving person. The abbreviated conversations she had with the GPF were sips of water on a parched throat. Loneliness, isolation, and removal from the culture she knew worked together to turn her into someone who needed the GPF and slowly began to think they weren’t so bad after all.

Every day, she drifted further from herself.

The new ship’s landing brought a cocktail of emotions. On one hand…it could be an escape. It could be a way out. But on the other hand…when the GPF came, Anura lost everything. Now, she had so little to live for, but she could lose what little there was if someone was malicious enough to take it. Maybe the GPF wasn’t the worst thing out there. Maybe they were the lesser of all the evils.

The GPF people told her to stay in the ship. They told her that these strangers could be dangerous. They told her it was for her own good that she stay. So at first Anura did stay. She was unguarded, but she stayed. Anura knew she couldn’t chance it being worse out there. But the longer she remained, something blossomed inside her, something that had weathered the storm of emotions and trauma and barely survived.

Hope.

Heart beating out of her chest, Anura crept outside, looked at the ship. It was so much smaller than the behemoth she’d been on, but more than large enough for many people. Some GPF soldiers had already entered the ship, and as Anura crouched behind one of the many large trees, she took a few long, deep breaths. She wanted to know more about the ship, but no one from the GPF would answer her honestly if she asked questions. Her gaze traveled from the new, tiny ship to the gigantic GPF ship. One was horrible, and the other…

Anura knew what she had to do.

Before her inhibitions could tell her to stop, before her fear could immobilize her, she darted in. No one was around, but she heard voices. She ducked into a tiny alcove, scarcely large enough for her even in her dessicated state. The size of Anura’s body tended to fluctuate with how well she was, and after living with the GPF, she was too thin, fragile as a blade of grass. All the better for her to slip into tiny areas that no one should be able to fit into.

“Come peacefully, and no one will be hurt,” a man’s voice said. Anura recognized it, she’d heard it through radios before.

“Listen, we’ll leave. Put that down and you won’t see us again.” This time it was a woman who spoke, her voice strong. It had a slight accent that Anura didn’t hear from many GPF people.

“You don’t get that option.” It was the same man, but he sounded angrier. “You’ve been a thorn in our side too long. At this point your options are to come peacefully and save your crew, or get everyone on this ship brutally killed.”

“Alright, alright, here.” Click.

“Excellent. Everyone else, wrists.” Click. THUMP. “Shit! Get backup! G—” THUMP. A scrambling of feet, another loud thump, and then two more thumps. Then, the sound of bodies dragging.

“Great job, Serge,” the woman said, sounding like she was exerting herself. ”Didn’t think you had it in you.” Anura wanted to leave, but she couldn’t tell if she’d be seen; the position she was in made it so she couldn’t watch what was going on without giving herself away, and the voices sounded close.

“You always forget that I was on a warship,” a man replied.

“But you were the engineer.”

“Engineers—” A grunt, the sound of bodies falling. It was too close. They must have been tossing the unconscious—dead?—GPF soldiers out of the ship. “—still are trained in combat,” the man finished. “If we are under siege, it wouldn’t be ideal for the engineer to be killed.”

“Fair, fair. How’re you doing, Morg?”

“We’re ready to go!” This voice sounded more androgynous, but Anura wasn’t focused on the voice this time. Ready to go? That means… Anura started to scramble out from her hiding place, but it wasn’t fast enough. The bay door had been shut. There was no way out.

Anura let out a cry as the ship accelerated, and she fell to her knees. Her shaking, weak legs couldn’t hold her up. She started to black out and only just managed to hold onto consciousness as her shoulders shook with panicked breaths. Footsteps were coming her way, but she could barely move, even though the initial acceleration was over. She’d never experienced anything like this before, she was hurtling away from the one thing she knew, and what if these people hurt her? They took out the GPF soldiers so fast…

“One of the Verdant…” the man she’d heard from before gasped. “Galuzio, she looks unwell.”

“Here, here, give her room to breathe,” the woman ordered. Anura blinked away the dizziness and looked around. Two figures knelt, a safe distance away from her. One was a larger, dark-skinned woman, and the other was a fair skinned man with patchy facial hair and a ponytail. He looked skinny, but had a distinct belly. Not at all like the perfectly muscled GPF men she was used to. “Are you alright? How did you get here?” the woman asked gently.

Anura flinched away a bit—what if this was a new type of manipulation? What if it was like the GPF, where everyone lied to you until you did what they wanted? “I…I…” Anura stammered. “I was curious, so I hid, but…”

“Did the GPF already get to your planet?” The woman looked sympathetic, wasn’t approaching or forcing anything. Anura took a breath, tried to steady her nerves. But all at once, the things the GPF did came back, she heard the cries of her friends and family, and her whole form shook with sobs. There were no tears; the GPF had only given her enough water for a human, not for one of the Verdant, so her body had none to spare. But she hid her face as small sounds of grief managed to escape her.

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” the woman murmured.

“I never thought they would expand so far,” the man added mournfully.

“Is your planet safe for you to come back to?” the woman asked once Anura’s sobs had started to slow.

Anura shook her head. “I…they…they might not hurt me. But they might do…other things. And I…it’s nothing like what it was before. I can’t remember what’s real…”

“You can stay with us, if you’d like. We’re not fond of the GPF either. My name is Sellia Galuzio.”

“I am Sergei Belmonte.” The man gave her a slight smile, made a touch unnerving by the movement of the many scars on his face.

“A…Anura. I’m Anura.” Sellia smiled.

“Well, it’s nice to meet you, Anura. Soon you’ll meet Morgan, they’re our pilot. By the way, what pronouns do you like?”

“She and her? I…that’s what I’m used to. I don’t…I don’t like ‘it.’ That’s what the GPF called me. But anything else really is okay.”  

“We will not call you ‘it.’ We don’t even call our AI ‘it.’ You’re a person,” Sergei reassured. “Do you need water? You look like you haven’t had enough.” Anura nodded—every part of her felt dry, brittle, and when Sergei came back with a large bottle of water, she did her best to not chug it all down at once. “Don’t worry about rationing it, you can have as much as you need.”

“Thank you,” Anura sighed gently. Fear assuaged, she continued to sip as another figure came over.

“We’re on course for Shrav I, we’ll get there in about four hours,” they reported. They were thin, with a slightly long nose and hair that was dyed a fading pink. At first, their height intimidated Anura; they were the tallest of all. But their smile was shy and kind. “Oh! Hi, I’m…I’m Morgan,” they said.

“Anura.” The longer Anura was on this ship, the more she relaxed. Maybe it was the water, maybe it was the gentleness. Maybe…it was that she finally felt like she could be herself. “So…I can stay?” Everyone nodded and smiled.

“Of course. As long as you want,” Sellia told her. She extended a hand that Anura took gently—her hands couldn’t take much pressure in this state. But Sellia was gentle in helping her stand. “For now, just rest. Get back your strength. And then…we’ll show you some of what we do.”

#anura #anura mazack #verdant #the verdant #introduction #character introduction #writing #writeblr #sci fi #scifi #science fiction #space #aliens #my writing #my wips #my oc #writblr #becoming a supernova #bas

[gossipgirl2019-blog]

Penn Badgley on His Twisted Stalker in 'You' and the Dark Side of 'Gossip Girl' Fame

New Post has been published on http://gr8gossip.xyz/penn-badgley-on-his-twisted-stalker-in-you-and-the-dark-side-of-gossip-girl-fame/

Penn Badgley on His Twisted Stalker in 'You' and the Dark Side of 'Gossip Girl' Fame

Penn Badgley, best known as Dan Humphrey, patron saint of Brooklyn loft-dwellers and scraggly MFA students, is finally playing another TV heartthrob. Except the heartthrob is a funhouse mirror distortion of a romantic lead, deploying his good looks and ardor to stalk the object of his affection and terrorize the people she loves. Meet Joe, the anti-hero of Lifetime’s You.

You is everything a Lifetime show starring an ex-Gossip Girl dreamboat shouldn’t be. It’s sardonic, biting, and more than a little terrifying. As a meta-commentary on the dangers of media representations of romance—particularly the notion of getting the girl at any cost, even if she doesn’t want to be got—You is essentially critiquing the kind of series it could have been.  

Viewers tuning in expecting a “21st century romance” will find instead a gripping satire, anchored by Badgley’s truly sick performance. It’s the perfect role for an actor who has emerged from the singular experience of being crushed on, obsessed over, and adored by millions of strangers. When it comes to Joe, Badgley’s greatest concern is that he isn’t creepy enough—that, despite the actor’s best efforts and protestations, the world will fall in love with him all over again.

Joe is a bookstore manager who spends his days ogling first editions and female customers. When he first encounters Guinevere Beck (Elizabeth Lail), You’s love interest, he narrates her entrance in a brilliant internal monologue that’s at once intellectual and obsessive, complimentary on the surface but misogynistic at its core. He wonders if, finally, he’s met someone who isn’t like all the other girls—someone who’s actually deserving of his intelligence, and his adoration. Almost immediately, he concludes that Beck is begging for his attention. It’s in the loud bangles that she wears, and her V-neck shirt. She’s asking for it. Joe knows what he wants, and more importantly, he presumes to know what she wants too. So when he finds Beck on social media, hunts down her address, and proceeds to stalk her, inserting himself more and more aggressively into her life in ways both seen and unseen, it’s all under the guise of facilitating her happily ever after.

Joe sees himself as the romantic lead; we quickly come to realize that the story that’s playing out in his head is not the one we’re seeing on screen. As Joe huddles in Beck’s shower after breaking into her house, he quips to himself, “I’ve seen enough romantic comedies to know that men like me are always getting in jams like this.” The genius here is that Joe isn’t wrong. Placing classic rom-com plots within this predatory context helps the viewer to critically examine what we’ve been sold as romance. In You, stalking behaviors and boundary pushing are revealed for what they really are—early signs of an unhealthy relationship that are likely to escalate. Badgley sees Joe as “a monkey wrench or a grenade,” following common romantic narratives to their disturbing conclusions and breaking them down in the process. “He’s like, I’m following the logic,” Badgley explained in a phone interview with The Daily Beast. “I’m infatuated, and I will stop at nothing for the object of my affection. This is what I’m packaged and sold, and no one’s been able to tell me differently.”

“Of course he must be held accountable,” Badgley continued, “because everybody needs to account for themselves, but at the same time, at some point, everyone is an innocent child. And at some point that innocent child receives a miseducation.”

In the name of love and chivalry, Joe is determined to learn everything about Beck and protect her at all costs. First, he zeroes in on Beck’s sometimes-boyfriend, Benji. Joe doesn’t see himself as a predator taking out the competition, but as a savior who knows that Beck’s ex is no good for her. Benji, he believes, doesn’t understand the real Beck—the one whom Joe has constructed from fleeting conversations, social media, and glimpses of her outside a window.

Badgley knows a thing or two about Joe’s brand of asphyxiating affection. As the star of a mammoth teen drama, Badgley was watched on and off screen. Actual New York City high schoolers stalked the Gossip Girl set in the hopes of seeing their favorite cast members. Many Gossip Girl actors, including Badgley, were romantically linked in real life, further blurring the lines between television and reality. So Badgley understands how it feels to have a stranger think that they “know” you, when what they really know is a character, or a product of their own imagination.

When asked how he relates to the central themes of the show on a personal level, as someone who has experienced “semi-obsessive fame,” Badgley responded, “Well not semi, pretty full-on obsession.”  

“I think as an actor you can become an object of desire, which is something women are already accustomed to more or less around the world—I’ve definitely been, I mean I don’t want to sound sensationalist, but I’ve literally been molested—just in the literal sense of the word—by many people in the moment. Because that’s what they do.” Badgley was thoughtful and cautious when discussing this; he doesn’t want it to be taken the wrong way, and is quick to acknowledge the privilege that being a man, not to mention a white man, affords him. But recent events have caused him to revisit these experiences and reconsider them—Badgley cited Terry Crews as one catalyst, saying, “these things very much happen, you know.”

“And it’s interesting to even hear you have that reaction, like ‘I’m sorry,’ because I didn’t even think of it that way then,’ he continued. “You’re led as a man, particularly, that when it happens you should feel great about it. Particularly when it comes from someone who’s feasibly an object of your desire as well. And I think that’s the interesting thing about this show, is that Joe looks like me, he acts and talks like me to a degree, so I think the audience is supposed to be like, ‘Aw that might be nice if someone was that infatuated with me.’”

He is absolutely right. Joe, like Dan Humphrey before him and like Badgley himself, is a good-looking man. He possesses stereotypically attractive traits—he’s charming, funny, intelligent, and caring. He also locks people up in a sound-proof cage in the basement of his bookstore.

Badgley has previously described the show as a “litmus test to see the mental gymnastics that we’re still willing to perform on a cultural level, to love an evil white man.” Will viewers buy into the romance narrative that Joe is writing, the love story in his head, against all odds and evidence to the contrary? Badgley said that he knew while they were making the show that “it stood the chance to be as compelling as it is—and I sort of hated everything about that sometimes.”

“I don’t want to sound sensationalist, but I’ve literally been molested—just in the literal sense of the word—by many people in the moment. Because that’s what they do.”

— Penn Badgley

“I was really frustrated,” he continued. “I was like, why is this the story that we’re telling? And by we I don’t just mean the creators of the show, I mean anybody who’s participating in it by watching it.”

Nothing could be timelier than considering Joe, and viewers’ reactions to Joe, as a window into the “mental gymnastics” of forgiving, empathizing with, or even coming to love a predatory man. And while Badgley might be deeply conflicted about his character, he’s excited about the potential for meaningful debate and conversation. “I think that a lot of the conversations that we’re having around the show are elevated and have a depth that I really appreciate because, for all the faults and all of the perils of the times we live in, we are becoming more sensitive to some things.” Citing the Me Too movement, he continued, “I think it’s significant that a show like this is coming out now, because if it had come out any other time, we might not have been having these necessary conversations around it. And we might have been all too ready to consume something that I think actually has some really dangerous seeds in it.”

Which isn’t to say that Badgley didn’t fight like hell to make Joe as unpalatable as possible. “In the pilot episode,” he recalled, “The director was trying to get me to be at some points less disgusting. Like when I’m masturbating on the side of the street, he really wanted me to close my eyes. And I was pretty adamant—I don’t remember what they ended up using, but I only closed my eyes for one take, because I was pretty adamant about not wanting to do it. And it’s because it was so much creepier with my eyes open. Like, why are we trying—Joe is masturbating on the side of the street as he watches a young woman…and we’re worried about it being too creepy?! Do we not think it’s already crossed that line?”

“So I was always kind of on the sidelines like, we don’t need to defend Joe. We don’t need to defend Joe.”

In addition to its sinister lead, You offers a taxonomy of “bad men,” as Beck navigates predatory professors and casually cruel exes. Joe is well-attuned to these gendered injustices. He describes Beck’s hilariously douchey hook-up as “the poster boy for white male privilege,” and is enraged when Beck’s advisor makes a pass at her and takes away her teaching job when she doesn’t put out. It’s a sharp and instantly recognizable portrayal of the “woke” dude who convincingly masks his internalized misogyny. Joe thinks he’s saving Beck from a lesser breed of men, when he is actually the worst man of all. And there’s a lot of competition.

“Joe is masturbating on the side of the street as he watches a young woman…and we’re worried about it being too creepy?! Do we not think it’s already crossed that line?”

— Penn Badgley

Badgley described the You set as a “learning experience,” pointing out that “by and large, all of the people responsible for this thing are women.” He lists Caroline Kepnes, author of the novel You, and Sera Gamble, who co-wrote and created the series with Greg Berlanti. “But really she’s the one at the helm, and I think Greg would immediately concede that,” he adds. “And most of our directors were female, most of the writers were female, most of the cast was female. There were just a couple of men involved.”

“So quite often, it would just open up this—I would just listen to why it is that the women involved were interested in this thing, and how it is that they saw it.” But at the end of the day, to hear Badgley describe it, playing Joe was a lonely and at times deeply uncomfortable experience. Talking about the allure of the project, Badgley cited fascinating themes central to the series and source novel, but added that, “The prospect of actually embodying Joe—being the sole person who actually has to embody Joe was not actually something I was really excited about at first. It’s a very different experience to watch Joe than to be him, and I’m the only one who has to do that.”

With a laugh, he concluded, “I guess like everything that I’ve done, I have a conflicted relationship to it.” It doesn’t take Joe-caliber online research to uncover Badgley’s ambivalence towards his most famous role. In the past, he’s pointed out that neither the show’s ending nor Gossip Girl itself made any sense (true), and called his character a “judgmental douchebag.”

Badgley has spent years being mistaken for Dan Humphrey, a fictional character. No wonder he’s pushed back against interpretations of You that posit that Joe is just an updated version of Dan Humphrey with a better internet connection—the well-read, cynical outsider who falls for the bubbly blonde (and stalks her every move online). It’s an easy first instinct, and “Dan Humphrey is back”-style headlines abound.

But Joe isn’t Dan 2.0—a role that Badgley doesn’t seem keen to revisit. Instead, he’s an opportunity to parody the Gossip Girl character, exaggerating the obvious flaws that teenage fans probably overlooked. Rather than a reprisal of the beloved role, viewers will find a clever takedown of the bookish outsider archetype (judgmental douchebag indeed). It’s not a stretch to say that Badgley’s murderous new character is taking a sledgehammer to Dan Humphrey and delivering a final, fatal blow.

Badgley might not be playing Dan, but he is returning to TV in a splashy starring role—and his face has been plastered all over New York City. Asked if he’s ready to be back in the spotlight, Badgley is once again conflicted. After Gossip Girl, “I definitely took a break,” he explained. “I definitely had to question if I wanted to keep doing what I’ve been doing. But I’m excited—I think.”

“When it comes to the fame side of things,” he continued, “I don’t think anybody, whether they’re famous or not, could claim to understand that phenomenon or have any sort of power over it. So I’m just cautious and careful.”

“For the time being I’m interested in this show, I’m excited by it, and like I said, if these kinds of conversations can be had, that’s great. And if I’m gonna be ‘more famous’ or whatever, if that comes along with it then…sure.” He sighed, unsure again. “I mean, it’s not one thing! With it comes blessings, and with it comes burdens, and that’s life, right? So I just suppose we’ll see.”

[kylosrehn]

for the tv series thing, I know it isn't one but star wars?

send me a tv film series and I’ll tell you:

my all-time ultimate fave character: 

Since the sequels came, I’m highkey loving Rey. But before that it was Vader. Still is, I guess. They’re kinda tied. Yeah I like the villains okay fight me.

a character I didn’t used to like but now do:    

Hmm…Kylo I guess. I never disliked him, but I was pretty meh about him. I just didn’t care all that much. But I like how they fleshed him out in TLJ and built-up his backstory, and I’ve warmed to him since. He’s very much a tragic character and I always like that. Between the two of us, he reminds me a little bit of Ward—or FW Fitz, take your pick. It’s the whole lack of affection/evil mentors make monsters out of good boys/men thing all over again. 

      a character I used to like but now don’t:

I actually left this question til last to see if I could think of something, but nah, I’ve got nothing. I don’t think I went from liking to disliking any one character completely, just kind of…liking them less. Padme is one of those. She used to be my girl through my childhood and now I’m more meh about her. I guess that’s the closest example I can think of right now.

a character I’m indifferent about:

There’s a good few. Rose, Finn, Holdo out of the sequels. They’re the first ones that come to mind. Boba Fett, Phasma, Hux (aside from the fact that he makes for good comic relief). I don’t know, probably a few more.

a character who deserved better:

Maybe Padme, because the whole ‘breed and die’ trope, but it was obviously necessary because she never shows up in the originals and they had to explain that somehow. And Obi-Wan. Though it’s less of a ‘deserved better’ and more of a ‘fuck he’s been through a lot of shit in his life.’ The Rogue One crew I suppose, though again that was a plot thing. 

a ship I’ve never been able to get into:

Finn/Rey. I’m just not very interested in friends to lovers ships (looking at you FS.) And maybe Han/Leia. I know they’re basically at “iconic” level by now, but they never really wowed me. Tbh most SW ships are like, “eh, okay” for me. I tolerate/moderately like them, but there are very few that make me go into hardcore shipper mode. Mini-me loved Anidala growing up, they were literally one of my biggest childhood OTPs, but over time the allure has started to fade and I’ve picked up on more and more flaws, and honestly, I think I’ve just outgrown them. Now I’m focusing on Reylo because it’s just such a cool dynamic that’s never been explored in the films before (I mean, a telepathic/empathic bond that lets them tap into each other’s skills and memories? That’s so awesome, I’m so here for this) and all that build up and development in TLJ really got me. I was kind curious (but mostly in the worried kind of way) to see how they’d approach it after TFA but now I’m 100% on board. I loved what they did with them. Aaaand that’s not the question. (Totally unrelated: I lowkey shipped Vader with Aphra from the Comics. It’s such a rarepair, but the dynamic was quirky and I’m always here for that. She was kinda like a S1-Skye cracking jokes at this evil, murderous Sith Lord. Plus, the line “you’re what I’ve been waiting for my whole life.” ‘Nuff said.)

a ship I’ve never been able to get over:

Reylo. Please don’t screw it up in IX, please please please.

a cute, low-key ship:

Jyn/Cassian. Also, I really like platonic Finn/Rey. And Luke and Leia’s relationship. And I wouldn’t be opposed if somehow Finn/Poe happened. And Poe/BB-8. Okay so not all of those are ship-ships, but y’know.

an unpopular ship but I still enjoyed it:

Tbh I lowkey wanted Poe to be with Paige, Rose’s sister, but lol she got killed off pretty quickly. Unpopular…well, I’m kinda looking forward to seeing how Han/Q’ira plays out in Solo (I’m 99% sure she plays him somehow. But hey, that seems to be my type.) I don’t know.

a ship that was totally wrong and never should have happened:

Eh, I don’t hate any ships, really, or think something was “wrong.” Not a huge fan of Rose/Finn just because I don’t see any chemistry between them and it sorta feels one-sided, but I mean, you can develop feelings over time, so that might change in IX. I don’t mind them, they’re just kinda…there. Not a fan of Kylux but that’s just a fan thing, so whatever.  

my favourite storyline/moment:

Right now it’s the Reylo Force Bond scenes. Yeah, all of them, lol. And the throne room fight scene because you expect them to start attacking each other, but instead they work together and subvert all expectations and I loved it. That scene at the end of Rogue One where Vader just demolishes the rebels. It was so dark and chilling and just all around ahh. Also, the Obi-Wan/Qui Gon/Maul fight from TPM is one of my all-time favourites. And the music! Ahh, awesome. Oh, also, the arena fight on Geonosis. I’m not sure I have a favourite storyline—though I’m admittedly a sucker for the whole ‘here, go on a totally-not-romantic trip to protect to senator on this beautiful, lush, fragrant world and try not to fall in love lol bye’ storyline because it’s just so wonderfully tropey. It’s like something pulled straight out of fic (and not necessarily in a bad way.) I’m kinda tempted to write a fic based on that, ngl. One day. 

a storyline that never should have been written:

Predictably, lol, I’m gonna say the Jar-Jar Binks/Gungan stuff from TPM. The whole underwater kingdom concept was cool, but it just felt like it took up way too much screentime. I wouldn’t have minded if it was just more of a background thing, or if it was of lesser importance. They’re just a huge part of this film and then they’re virtually never brought up again (in the films) in any significant way, so all of that just feels so moot and unnecessary, like it was just a run time filler. The political plot, although somewhat frustrating, does prove relevant to the story later on so I’m cool with it. I don’t think I hated any storyline really. TFA was a disappointment for me in that it felt a little too familiar and I really wished they would’ve taken more risks and tried to pave their own path as opposed to recycling elements (I mean, ANOTHER Death Star? Sorry, Starkiller Base. Really? And the Empire’s defeated but like, merely a few years later they’re back and crushing the rebellion again? Sorry no, that’s…It’s the First Order now. Got it. Totally different. My bad.) from the originals just to please the hardcore fans, but luckily TLJ assuaged most of that frustration. I can only hope the mood for IX is closer to TLJ than TFA because that would be regression and honestly just a huge insult to the saga.

my first thoughts on the show films:

I think I just loved them straight away, lol. I must’ve been…five at most when I first watched them—well, the originals and I and II, they were the only ones that were out at the time—on the good old VHS with my dad because he was/is a huge fan and he got me into it. Obviously the more nuanced stuff flew over my head as a small kid and certain things only really clicked when I rewatched them years later, but the love was there. 

my thoughts now:

I still love it, though my love tends to come in sporadic bursts now as opposed to being linear all the time. Like, I can just push it to the back of my mind for a year/two/three but then something like Rogue One comes out and reminds me just how much I love that world. I ride the high for a few months, read fic, etc. and then the hype tapers off and plateaus for a while. Nothing for another few months/a year, new movie, and wham, I’m sucked back in. 

I try to stay in my own little corner though and not get too involved in fandom because the drama is just nasty and can really suck the enjoyment out of, well, everything really. For a long time I guess I just wasn’t aware of how nasty the SW fandom was—aside from the group that hates on the prequels for the sake of hating the prequels because it’s what the cool kids do or whatever—probably because I didn’t actively go looking for this type of stuff. But then TFA came out and it kind of erupted like a volcano that’s been…somewhat dormant since III in 2005. Still, I stayed away from it for the most part, only hearing stories of hate in passing, and never really engaged until after TLJ, when it became a little “safer” for the Reylos to emerge. Before that it was two years of hell and name-calling and threats and verbal abuse and general fandom wank, to my knowledge. And that’s fucked up. No one should have to endure that, not in any fandom. Stuff like that just pisses me off so much. But I’m sure you already know that.

#replies #ilosttrackofthings #thanks for asking! #i got rambly lol what else is new #star wars #about me #long post

[writtenndust]

What I love, about Roxton & Marguerite. And why I’ll never get over them.

So there’s a lot of reasons, and I likely won’t cover all of them, but there’s a magnetism to this OTP that completely cancels out the campy, low CGI quality of the late 90′s. I hate to use the term realism, but there really is a sense of realism in how they portray the relationship and I’m sure that comes down to Will and Rachel’s chemistry (having worked together multiple times before, I think allowed them the freedom to really embrace Roxton and Marguerite’s strengths and weaknesses as a couple) so here is the cliff notes:

The narrative as a whole:

In the grand, overarching story of ‘Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s The Lost World’, Marguerite is revealed to be what’s referred to as ‘The Balance’ and Roxton is ‘Her Knight Protector’ and to really break that down, I’d have to give you a play-by-play of most of the series, but the general gist is - they get stranded on the plateau of the lost and it comes out the plateau is actually the centre of the universe, or some such and to maintain harmony in the world, good must be the prevailing force on the plateau. Come in, the line of Protectors (ie, Veronica and her mother). But the peace is threatened by the line of Mordren, who seek to tip the balance to evil. Somewhere along the way, Marguerite is born and she is a product of the union between one of the line of Protectors, and one of the line of Mordren, making her the balance between the two, capable of choosing which side and her choice, defines the fate of the Plateau and the world.

Roxton’s job, as her protector, is to be pre-destined to love and protect her for their entire lives and keep her from tipping toward evil. (FUCKING A+)

Their narrative, within the show:

Quite literally, from the first episode, Roxton and Marguerite are flirting like a pair of cats in heat. They’re in a canoe, rowing down the amazon river and all Marguerite does is take off her top shirt (she’s a woman in 1919, she’s got LAYERS) and Roxton is all *heart eyes*.

But he’s not a smitten, drooling lap dog because he’s a hunter and he’s a Lord and he’s no withering flower, neither of them are. So he’s like WOOT, CHALLENGE. and Marguerite steps the fuck up.

Roxton makes NO illusions as to his intentions from day dot, and even though Marguerite literally bit his face (lip; he kissed her in the first ep and she bit him) it sets them on their romantic path from the get. And I kinda love that. He brands her, he paints a target on her and he says in his head, likely with the guttural growl of a lion, that she’ll be his. But, best thing is, she fights him and shoves at him and beats him back with a stick on occasion, but that only tenderises the man. He just gets softer and softer towards her, the more the show moves on.

Their relationship, in the family unit:

What’s kind of lovely about the early stages of their genuine relationship (not just the flirty banter of S1, but the fully-fledged relationship that blossoms in S2) is that, while it’s starting, within the family unit in the Treehouse, in front of Challenger, Veronica and Malone (and later Finn), it’s virtually invisible. They have little tender moments, might make a snide little snip at each other, followed by a smirk, but the real stuff, the sweet stuff, is kept between them. They don’t let whatever is starting between them, get between their family.

And it also gives them something that is just theirs, where they’re five people living in a tree, virtually on top of each other.

I mean, pretty much by 1x22, they’re exclusive and the family pretty much knows it, but it’s still low-key, ‘cept for the pesky period they thought all the men died and Marguerite went around hugging Roxton’s hat until they found them.

A different aspect that’s kind of sweet, is in S3 when Finn joins the family, Roxton and Marguerite take on a sort of Mama and Papa role with Finn and I *heart* that.

Marguerite:

She’s the most complex character on the show. She was an orphan and never knew where she came from and she got herself into some pretty sticky situations. She was a jewel thief, a triple agent during the first world war and struck a deal with a Shanghai mob-lord to track down a talisman on the plateau and trade it for her birth certificate.

She can read and speak almost any language (it’s one of her powers, the languages of the plateau just appear for her), she can manipulate any one, uses seduction to get what she wants before she’d ever pick up a weapon (because she’s pretty shit with weapons, even though she’s a halfway decent shot) and she’s a scrappy fighter who’d rather kick and scratch than land a decent blow.

Roxton:

He’s a typical 1920′s adventurer, he’s an english Lord, inherited the title when he accidentally shot his older brother on an expedition while trying to shoot down the ape that was mauling said brother. So he’s got a lot of hang-ups about the people he loves and how desperate he is to step up to that position as a protector.

He’s also a good cook, roasts the coffee beans for Marguerite’s ‘necessary’ coffee and does all the manly things of the household, like greasing the guns, making shells and gunpowder and smoking their meat. 

Their interactions:

What’s great about them, is the way they talk to each other. Roxton can sometimes be a bit chauvinistic because it’s 1919-1923 and it’d be kinda unrealistic if he wasn’t, but he tries and Marguerite doesn’t really let him get away with it. They fight, and sometimes not just pulled-punches tv fighting, but screaming matches, threatening to throw each other to the wolves. In one of their most iconic scenes, they have a knock-down, drag-out screaming match about hating each other and Roxton actually screams at her that they’re finished. But then it’s “I’d give my last breath for you, Marguerite, you know that.” and the heart just melts into a puddle. 

I love that they’re not afraid to show the ugly stuff. They’re not all flowers and sunshine and Marguerite has so many secrets, it’s true a lesser man would run for the hills. And maybe the only reason they have survived is because they were stuck on the plateau, together, with no where else to go. They were forced to flesh out every corner of their emotions towards each other, and there’s just something really special about that.

They don’t have a forced-together, due to a lack of options, feel - because Veronica and Malone are in an incredibly similar situation and they worked out, their relationship didn’t need to be romantic to be meaningful. That was another thing that really worked for the show. They had two romantic couples - one this fire and ice, burn the skies, cosmic sort of love and the other, very down to earth, friendship love that learned it didn’t need to burn like Roxton and Marguerite do. 

So while I never cared for Veronica and Malone as a ship, up against Marguerite and Roxton, I can respect what was done with it. And appreciate that it played out for the best.

And none of this diminished, at all, the powerful characters that Marguerite and Veronica are. They’re strong, powerful ladies with a destiny tied to each other, and the plateau. Roxton and Malone are important, for sure and they love them, most definitely, but Marguerite survived on her own, fighting off police and war-lords, gendarme and mercenaries her whole life, long before she met Roxton. And Veronica lived ten years on the plateau alone, until the Challenger Expedition arrived. 

I need to stop, the post is getting too long, but there are endless reasons why this is the best ship ever.

The way Roxton always stands between Marguerite and danger, unless it’s a danger until he’s certain it’s what she can handle, then he passes her the knife and takes a step to the side with pride.

The way their history and destiny are tied together, from when they were children, to him being arrested to protect her identity during the war, to the plateau.

The way Marguerite’s eyes light up at even the mention of jewels or treasure, and Roxton just rolls his eyes and lets her have her moment.

The way they argue.

The way they flirt.

The countless times she chose the right path, and only John was there to see it.

Roxton: “I love you Marguerite, don’t say I can’t. Don’t pretend you can’t hear me.” Marguerite: “I’m not pretending.” Roxton: “Well then why can’t you say it?” Marguerite: “Even if it isn’t true?” Roxton: “Isn’t it? It’s all for you. You can’t keep running away. Your future, our future, is now.”  - he starts to lean in to kiss her -  Marguerite: “I love you.”

- 3x21 Trapped

#the lost world #marguerite krux #lord john roxton #I have so many thoughts and feelings about this show #and i just can't get over it #I will always be devastated that it never ended #and i'll always wonder what might have been

[lovemesomesurveys]

1. How often is it that you make a post on any sort of social media, and then delete it soon after? Why? I very rarely do that. I don’t even recall the last time I did that. 2. Have your ideas and expectations about adulthood changed as you’ve gotten older? Well, adulthood sucks and it’s definitely not how I thought it would be. At twenty-eight years old, I certainly thought I’d be in a different position than I am now. 3. Have you ever taken time off to focus on your mental health? Are you the type of person that is able to take a break or are you more likely to bury yourself in responsibility? I was the type of person who buried myself in responsibility for so long and it took its toll. When I finally was done with school two years ago, I decided I would then take some time to focus on myself and my health. Well, here we are two years later and I’m no further than I was then. Things just got worse. 4. Do you enjoy keeping track of, rating, and reviewing the media you consume? I don’t do that.

5. Are you constantly on the lookout for new movies to watch and books to read or do you tend to just wait for something to pique your interest? I’d say I’m always on the lookout. I enjoy having several shows to watch and books to read.

6. Do you have a different group of friends on a site besides this one? I don’t have any online friends. 7. If you are or were in college, when you share your major with people how do they usually react? If you are not in college, how do you explain your job situation to others and what is their reaction? Whenever I tell people I majored in psychology, they always say something along the lines of them being my first client and that I could help them. They think I’m a psychologist. They think I just know everything and will be like, “well you majored in psychology, you should know”; especially when it comes to myself and my mental health. Oh, and they think I’m probably analyzing them. 8. If you are or were in college, do you find that you have many things in common with others who share your major or not? If you are not in college, have you ever made friendships with people at your job who are not coworkers (e.g., clients or customers)? Honestly, when I got to UC I was at the point of getting my BA so I was there for 2 years just taking my required classes and focusing on my schoolwork. 9. When you watch competition shows, do you feel an automatic support for a competitor who’s from your state or region? Yeah, haha. 10. Do you ever fantasize about saving the day or being a hero (e.g., you are near some children playing by a river. You imagine one falling in and you saving them)? No. I can’t even save myself. 11. Which season do you enjoy dressing for the most and why? Fall. 12. If you are familiar with any science fiction, what sort of science fiction future do you think is most likely to actually happen? Feel free to predict without the impact of existing sci-fi, too. I don’t know, man. 13. Do you think it is possible that eventually humans will create enough technology to completely or nearly completely automate work and free up people to a new experience of social relations without “jobs” as we know them today? There’s already some of that going on and talks of doing even more. 

14. Do you find yourself becoming more afraid of unlikely situations when they are broadcast by the media? For example, are you more afraid of going to the movie theater after the recent shootings, or are you more afraid of contracting a rare illness if the news highlights an outbreak? Most definitely. Like, I’m afraid of going to crowded, public events/places like outdoor concerts or something because of shootings or bombings. Have you heard what just happened in Vegas? After hearing about movie theater shootings I was afraid of going to the movies for awhile. Even now it’s in the back of my mind whenever I go. If there’s an outbreak of some kind, I’m terrified of getting it. If I hear about the symptoms, I’ll be convinced I’m experiencing it.

15. Do you enjoy taking selfies and do you enjoy looking at other people’s selfies? I rarely take selfies anymore cause I just feel like absolute crap about myself, and my self-esteem was bad before, but it’s been worse this past year when I stopped putting in the effort. 16. First, list a few of your negative personality traits. Second, when you notice others displaying these traits are you more likely to be understanding and forgiving because you can relate? My list of negative traits is a long one. I feel bad when other people are hard on themselves and I’m definitely more understanding of them and kind, but I can’t be kind that way to myself for the same things. 17. Are there any songs that you enjoy, but the lyrics are problematic/downright offensive? What about films with shady directors or plot points? How do you negotiate liking art or artists that represent offensive ideas or that have problematic politics? Yeah, you could say that. 18. Have you ever used a dating app? What was your experience like? If not, what is your impression of them? Nope and I have no desire to. 19. When it comes to politics, what is your opinion about voting for the “lesser of two evils”? Would you rather vote for someone you hate less (between 2 main parties), someone you truly believe in but who won’t win (3rd party), or abstain from voting altogether? Blah politics. 20. If you are in school, do you tend to take a lot of similar classes or classes on the same topic even if it’s not necessary for your major? While in community college I was able to branch out, but when I got to university I was only taking classes required for my major to get my BA. 21. What is your opinion on protest marches? What about different tactics taken by activists such as boycotts, shutting down highways, sit-ins, and even blockades of trade ships? What do you think is the best method to actually enact change? Protest marches as fine as long as they’re peaceful. To me, that says a lot more than the violent ones because when people act that way, no one wants to take you seriously or hear what you have to say and the message gets overshadowed by the chaoticness. 22. Do you believe in parallel universes or infinite possibilities or do you tend to believe that what we see and know now is pretty much it? I don’t believe in parallel universes. 23. When you think about your past are you more likely to have a rose-colored view and remember happy and nostalgic moments and kind of forget about the bad or is the opposite? My childhood I remember fondly. Some memories with certain people I may remember more fondly than they really have been. Otherwise, I dwell way too much on my past and all the negative. 24. When online shopping do you tend to leave your cart full for days or even weeks waiting for a good sale or coupon, or do you generally buy what you want at that moment? I usually put stuff in my cart and buy later, depending on what it is and the cost. 25. Have you ever had a specific moment when you were extremely glad you are not a celebrity or when you were relieved to be a nobody (e.g., when some dirt on you was exposed or you acted obscenely in public)? I am glad that I am not a celebrity and have no desire to ever have that kind of attention on me.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

[alwaysanotherooc]

Why do you think Diavolos could be a good match for Raydan?

Ok, let’s get into this.

Raydan and DIavolos have so much in common. They were both born into and raised in situations that should have killed them, or, at the very least, turned them into bitter, hateful, rage fueled husks of human beings. But they’re not like that. They have honor and compassion and they care about people on a level that most others just don't. They’re born and natural leaders, each in their own way. They both know how to walk, talk, and act in places where they know they are surrounded by people who want them dead. They both know how to survive with everything they’ve got, no matter the cost, but as much as that’s true, if by sacrificing themselves they can save someone else, you bet your ass they’d do it.

Diavolos is so sick and tired and hurt by his life before Kenna that he’s the kind of person who never lets anyone get too close, he doesn’t trust anyone, not even his soldiers who he loves so dearly. He does what he can and what he should to be honorable and brave like any good prince should...but he can’t ever believe it will be enough to make people forget who he is, and who his family is. He’s seen his family torture and murder and laugh wildly about it and it sickens him, but he knows he’s got that part in him as well. And he’s trying to do his best to not be like them...but sometimes he’s worried that it’s something he’ll never be able to get rid of, something that will always be haunting his every thought.

Raydan grew up knowing that the world around him was a thousand percent awful, a thousand percent of the time, and you had to sweat and bleed to carve out even a split second of peace for yourself, Raydan learned quickly how to use his beautiful face and smooth husky voice to get what he needed without drawing a blade, though he could still do that if necessary, but despite being so charming and seemingly carefree, Raydan always knew what people did behind closed doors, what they said and did when no one was looking, and knowing how some people you look up to are actually awful at heart weighs on you. Raydan smiles and flirts but never lets anyone into the one safe place he has, his bed unless he can trust them. Needless to say, that’s a rare occurrence.

Once the two of them meet, they strike up a camaraderie, because, after all, they are the two people in the room that no one trusts, no matter what they do. Diavolos is a Nevrakis and they’re nothing but pure evil, and Raydan is the traitor who shot the Queen’s wife/best friend. So, as any two outcasts do, they start hanging around one another, and it sort of just...it’s just different, for both of them. Raydan flirts and charms and laughs, same as ever, and he can tell it’s working to some extent on the Prince, but it also...feels different. He can’t quite explain why there’s this strange sense of total understanding between them, even on opposite sides of the war table while planning battles. And Diavolos feels it too, but he tells himself to ignore the wide yawing pull in his gut that says, ‘This could be yours’. Because yes, Raydan is beautiful and he flirts and laughs at Diavolos’ sly complaints about courtly life, but nothing is ever truly going to belong to Diavolos, his father told him that long ago.

Their relationship deepens and strengths through this mutual feeling of companionship, built on the fact that they know the same things about life that would kill lesser men, and their conversations held quietly against the wall during a gala soon turn to equally quiet confessions about their lives and what has been done to them while staring at the stars. And before either of them knows it, they’ve confessed their deepest and darkest secrets to each other, because who could better understand than the other? And for Raydan, who’s spent his whole life shrouded in mysteries pulled tight around him like armor, that’s when it clicks. That’s when he looks at Diavolos, the cynical and love starved man with an honorable soul hidden beneath, and thinks, ‘Oh. Of course. It’s you. It’s going to be you.’ And Diavolos, who’s had to keep his cards tight to his chest since birth, hears that voice get louder, ‘This could be yours, look at him.’ But he can’t comprehend the thought that Raydan, who’s been beaten and bruised by life so many times and still has a heart of gold, would ever truly want him.

Then, during the battle against Azura, Diavolos nearly gets his head chopped off when he sees, from a great distance, Azura advancing on Raydan, lightning flaring from her fingertips and scorching through the air and even through the distance and the clamor of the battle, Diavolos seems to hear Raydan’s soft inhale of resignation just before it strikes. But then Val screams, shoving her way between them, and Diavolos has to turn back to his own part of the battle, the terror and rage of seeing Raydan in danger fueling him to push harder and farther, his soldiers following suit. And when they are later all within the throne room and his father lies dead at his feet and his blood stains his sword, he hears Raydan chuckle in relief. “Oh thank hea-” But Raydan doesn’t get to finish because Diavolos has strode over to him, shoved him against a wall and kissed him, fiercely, deeply. Kenna calls them to her as Azura still advances, and just before they turn back to the battle, Diavolos whispers to Raydan, “I was not going to let either of us live a moment longer without doing that.” Raydan grins, eyes bright and mouth red, “You’d better not die on me now, Prince, I have plans for you.”

Kenna wins, because of course she does, and the whole Five Kingdoms armies are celebrating and drinking together, and even Azura’s army celebrates with them, to a new era of peace across their great lands. But Diavolos and Raydan are not there. They are off in the distance, kissing lazily and laughing against each other's skin under the stars, drunk off of being alive and being together. 

TLDR: Raydan and Diavolos can understand every facet of each other and would be the most supportive, loving couple ever.

#Radan Lykel #Diavolos Nevrakis #Diavolos Nevrakis/Raydan Lykel #emmaanswers #endlessflame

[surveysonfleek]

344.

1. How often is it that you make a post on any sort of social media, and then delete it soon after? Why? hardly ever, i never post on facebook anymore. i used to delete posts that didn’t get enough likes on instagram but i don’t give two shits anymore lol. 2. Have your ideas and expectations about adulthood changed as you’ve gotten older? yes, definitely. 3. Have you ever taken time off to focus on your mental health? Are you the type of person that is able to take a break or are you more likely to bury yourself in responsibility? tbh i can get over things pretty quickly. i just need time alone, a nap and then i’m usually okay. 4. Do you enjoy keeping track of, rating, and reviewing the media you consume? i’ve never rated or reviewed any of the media i consumed tbh.

5. Are you constantly on the lookout for new movies to watch and books to read or do you tend to just wait for something to pique your interest? i’m always on the look out for tv series to watch or books to read. i’ve slowly gotten over movies. 

6. Do you have a different group of friends on a site besides this one? i don’t have any tumblr friends lol. 7. If you are or were in college, when you share your major with people how do they usually react? If you are not in college, how do you explain your job situation to others and what is their reaction? when i tell people my job they’re usually interested in hearing more about it. 8. If you are or were in college, do you find that you have many things in common with others who share your major or not? If you are not in college, have you ever made friendships with people at your job who are not coworkers (e.g., clients or customers)? at uni we were all so different even though we were doing the same course and/or majors. there were a ton of creative types but all in their own way. 9. When you watch competition shows, do you feel an automatic support for a competitor who’s from your state or region? haha there aren’t many regions in australia, let’s be real. or competition shows for that matter. 10. Do you ever fantasize about saving the day or being a hero (e.g., you are near some children playing by a river. You imagine one falling in and you saving them)? nope. 11. Which season do you enjoy dressing for the most and why? winter.i love sweaters and coats. 12. If you are familiar with any science fiction, what sort of science fiction future do you think is most likely to actually happen? Feel free to predict without the impact of existing sci-fi, too. clearly robots are already very much present. still waiting on these flying cars though. 13. Do you think it is possible that eventually humans will create enough technology to completely or nearly completely automate work and free up people to a new experience of social relations without “jobs” as we know them today? it’s definitely possible. it’ll be terrible though, the unemployment rate will be at an all time high. 14. Do you find yourself becoming more afraid of unlikely situations when they are broadcast by the media? For example, are you more afraid of going to the movie theater after the recent shootings, or are you more afraid of contracting a rare illness if the news highlights an outbreak? i try not to. i think i’ll just be living life as normal as possible unless it happens close to home etc. 15. Do you enjoy taking selfies and do you enjoy looking at other people’s selfies? i don’t really take selfies anymore. i wouldn’t say i ‘enjoy’ looking at other people’s selfies lol. 16. First, list a few of your negative personality traits. Second, when you notice others displaying these traits are you more likely to be understanding and forgiving because you can relate? i’m brutally honest, lazy, unmotivated, easily irritated and judgemental. tbh i don’t know anyone personally that displays a lot of these traits so idk. 17. Are there any songs that you enjoy, but the lyrics are problematic/downright offensive? What about films with shady directors or plot points? How do you negotiate liking art or artists that represent offensive ideas or that have problematic politics? yep yep yep. i get it. i probably listen, watch and read so many things that were created by problematic people or even lyrics/movies/shows that i don’t understand enough to know that it’s stemming from a bad place. all i can really do is research this shit and move on. 18. Have you ever used a dating app? What was your experience like? If not, what is your impression of them? never have. 19. When it comes to politics, what is your opinion about voting for the “lesser of two evils”? Would you rather vote for someone you hate less (between 2 main parties), someone you truly believe in but who won’t win (3rd party), or abstain from voting altogether? i can’t abstain, voting in australia is compulsory. i generally read up before election time and base my decision on what i find.  20. If you are in school, do you tend to take a lot of similar classes or classes on the same topic even if it’s not necessary for your major? not in school. 21. What is your opinion on protest marches? What about different tactics taken by activists such as boycotts, shutting down highways, sit-ins, and even blockades of trade ships? What do you think is the best method to actually enact change? i don’t have an opinion, i’ve never been in or witnessed one. i don’t think my opinion would help any cause. 22. Do you believe in parallel universes or infinite possibilities or do you tend to believe that what we see and know now is pretty much it? i’m honestly way too tired for this survey, the questions are too deep lol. i guess it’s interesting to imagine the thought of parallel universes but what’s the point when we should just live in the moment. 23. When you think about your past are you more likely to have a rose-colored view and remember happy and nostalgic moments and kind of forget about the bad or is the opposite? um, a bit of both? i generally remember the happy moments more but i’ll never forget the bad either. 24. When online shopping do you tend to leave your cart full for days or even weeks waiting for a good sale or coupon, or do you generally buy what you want at that moment? if i really really want something i’ll just get it. there’s some times where i add heaps of items in my cart and never follow through to ordering it. 25. Have you ever had a specific moment when you were extremely glad you are not a celebrity or when you were relieved to be a nobody (e.g., when some dirt on you was exposed or you acted obscenely in public)? nope.

#survey #surveys #quiz #bored #questions

[verdigrisprowl]

After two weeks of grappling with Starscream's new job offer, Prowl had finally found someone to talk to about it. Whirl, of all people. Whirl.

Whirl who had had a different function—a function he wanted for himself—before the war, who had had that violently snatched away from him, who had spent the four million years since then being a completely different person, who had recently begun to pick up his old function again. Whirl who might actually understand the tension Prowl was under—that internal battle to decide when it was okay to go back to his old function.

Whirl had understood. He hadn't been able to articulate what had let him make that decision to go back, but yes, he had understood. That was something.

And in the end, he'd given Prowl good advice. Advice he didn't want to hear, advice that he hated, but the exact advice he needed.

"I think you’d let yourself be a bad cop, if you think you needed to."

Prowl had always been a good cop. An honest police officer. No matter what enemies he made, no matter how unpopular he became, no matter what demotions he earned. Prowl swore to himself that he would never be anything else. As a strategist and a soldier, he might have been a monster; but he had vowed that he would never again become a cop unless and until he was in a world where he could be a good cop.

Could he be that anymore?

Long ago, near the beginning of the war, he'd told Mesothulas that he was afraid of being seduced by the potential of what he could get done if he killed a little—just a little—of his morality. And then a little more. And then a little more. He'd killed Mesothulas because of that fear. And then he'd done it anyway. He'd told himself he wasn't changing, he was just doing what was necessary while keeping his real self locked away—but had he? Had he? Could he really separate his soul from his sins like that?

He'd told himself he'd wait to become a cop again until the war was over, and the world was righteous again. Why did he have to wait until the world was righteous? It hadn't been righteous before the war—and he'd been good then.

Perhaps it was because he couldn't trust himself to be good anymore if he was still in a world where it was convenient to be evil. If there was a wrong he could right by breaking the rules, he couldn't trust himself not to break the rules. It would be irrational, wouldn't it, to avoid committing a lesser evil for a greater good—and Prowl was nothing if not rational.

If he was holding off on becoming a cop again until he knew he could be a good cop—then he was waiting for something that would never happen.

The problem wasn't that the world wasn't right yet.

The problem was Prowl.

It's time to give up.

#status

[meetmeatmidnightsblog]

Chapter 1 Disclaimer I don't own any of the characters and or content that is going to be used in this story and all right belong to the writers and creators of creators of once upon a time. Regina showed the other Robin around while her main Robin was spending some time with his daughter Robyn. She show this version of him, the rest of storybrooke, the town hall, the library and the clock tower. His twin brother slid his hand into his baby brother girl fingers, she pulled away from him, explained “ I know we had a fling between us. But that was only because my Robin failed to mention the fact that he had a brother.” His older twin brings up to her “we were close once,but our parents divorce put a nasty ocean between us.” she tells him”as you know, my relationship with Zelena is quite complicated. I have been trying very hard to mend it.” The older twin nodded his head, asked “Zelena the one with the infant baby?. How did all of this spiral out of control?. “ She clenched her fists into the jacket pockets, took a deep breath and told him “my mother had my sister first, but she gave her up and kept me instead.” he replied “favorites over family, I suppose your mother wanted something else in life that changed her values and perspectives, love to make this irrational decision.” “our mother was complicated and cruel, but I loved her despite all of that. Hoped that she could give up the need for power and vengeance but it wasn't enough.” “my brother Robin Hood also told me that Cora ripped a stable boys heart out all because his heart fell in love with a woman that was way out of his league.” Regina grit her jaw, tightened her lips and choked down the river of tears, put up the walls around old wounds. She opened her mouth up, but nothing came out. Robin of Locksley did his best to comfort her before she bursts, or disappears into a purple cloud of smoke. “I didn't mean to upset you madame mayor.” She regained her composer, says to Robin of Locksley “ I..just needed a minute, no you didn't upset me.” he arched his neck up, tilted his head slightly to the left. He huffed “yes I have. So don't lie. Unlike my brother I can see past the mask you wear.” She rolled her eyes at Robin of Locksley, scoffed “you think you have me figured out just because you share the exact same face as Robin.” Robin of Locksley was unaware of her short temper, he prepared his bow in front of him, aimed it towards the evil queen. Robin Hood was on his way to meet up with Regina, he saw his brother point his arrow locked and loaded. He ran in front of him, shoved his twin on the pavement and sucker punched him in the face, snarled “so help me god if you leave one mark on her, I will kill you myself.” Regina ran into the chaos, grabbed Robin hoods collar, growled “ kill him, you will regret it forever trust me I know better than anyone. This isn't like you, so take it down a notch and go for a walk then when you've calmed down, we can talk.” Robin Hood growled at Regina “ my brother tried to kill you, you're still going to defend his ass.” she snapped “yes, now go before the evil queen comes out. I'm pretty sure that you'd rather deal with me than her. She never liked thieves, even on a good day.” Robin Hood barked “don't drag the Queen into this. It's not necessary, I just don't understand why you choose to defend my brother.” Regina recalled “ when we first met you nearly took off my head with your arrow, luckily I had impressively quick reflexes before it could do any damage.” Robin of Locksley chuckled lightly, mumbled “oh brother, what have you gotten into.” Robin Hood hated bickering with Regina, since he never wins nor does it accomplish anything. He rolled his shoulders back, looked into those adorable puppy dog eyes of hers, gave in “I'm sorry for the way I acted, can you forgive me?.” she points to his brother, mentions “yes, but the real person you should be apologize to is your brother, that's what heroes do.” Robin Hood huffed “ I'm..sorry I snapped at you.” Robin of locksley replied “I accept you're overly appeasing apology.” Regina let out a sigh of relief, looks at the two spitting images of Robin hood staring back at her. She cleared her throat, tells them “ how about we go back to my house, have some leftover lasagna hotdish for dinner tonight.” They groaned “cant you heat something else up. Neither one of us can take anymore of that hotdish.” She raised her hand up in protest, chimes in “how about some leftover grilled cheese sandwiches, tomato soup.” They both glanced at each other, trying to pick the lesser of two evils. Robin Hood added “what if I cooked instead.” She folded her arms over her chest, mumbled “that's not an option.” he leaned closer to Regina, uttered “ i'm standing right here.” She huffed “eavesdropper.” He chuckled “sweetie,you might want to work on lowering your voice if you don't want anyone to hear your conversation.” Robin of Locksley bit his lip to hold back his laughter, he watches his little bro bicker with his girlfriend. There pitiful disagreements make them act more like two year olds than adults. He finds it sicking and enduring all at the same time. He wonders how those two managed to fall in love so easily. Separately there complete opposites, together they balance each other and have way more in common then you realized. Robin of Locksley interrupted the bickering idiots, tells them “ can we continue this later, my stomach is growling louder than lighting. I would love to have my last meal before I die so can we get this show on the road.” Robin blushed bright red as he looked back at Regina, explains to her “ sorry my brother tends to get a bit fussy when hes overly hungry.” She snickers “ Hes just as bad as my son.” Robin Hood was very tempted to ruin Regina thunder, by mentioning his daughter but he also knows that would only make things worse. Since he is well informed on the fact that she will never be able to bare have children of her own. The bond that Zelena forced, will forever have a sore spot on her heart, his. That a part of himself wishes that he could take this all back, share it all with the woman he truly loves. Regina looks to Robin Hood, sees the sorrow in his olive-green eyes, she tilts her head and tries not to choke up in tears. She hates everything her sister has done to him, David and Margaret, Henry and even hook. Yet she's still around because of the child, hopes that maybe just maybe it will provide Zelena with a second chance, just like Henry did for her. She walked over to Robin, leans her head against his shoulder, whispers softly” I forgive you. So stop blaming yourself for this.” he kissed her softly on the cheek, uttered “I love you so much.” her eyes twinkled as she absorbed those three words that she's been waiting to hear. “I love you always.” She uttered back to Robin. He wrapped his fingers into the palm of her hand. He soaked up this precious moment as long as he could. In this town, you never got much time for the milestone markers in relationships. This was one that he wanted to cling onto, those words you say to the one you love should not be taken lightly. They should be spared. Robin of locksley tapped his foot impatiently on the sidewalk, interrupts them by saying “can we have some food, i'm dying over here.” Regina burst out with uncontrollable laughter as Robin tells his brother “alright man, let's get some grub before my girlfriend loses a lung.”

#A fresh start with two twin brothers and the evil queen #Dark Outlaw Queen #Outlaw Queen #fanfiction #the evil queen #Regina mills #ff.net #chapter 1

[tylerbiard]

Some Social

So, in yet another bout of procrastination from my studies, I found a link via Facebook to an insightful article on Gen Z (or iGen), and sort of just immersed into it.  The article goes to great lengths to describe the incoming generation’s mindset and how it’s penchant for mobile phones and social media is destroying their mental health, which made me ponder my own life.

I know I’ve talked about Gen Z before, and my dealings with them, comparing them to my generation, the infamous Millennials.  I probably came off as smug.  To be sure, a lot of the things associated with Gen Z, even things that came to the fore with my generation, aren’t things I’m really enamoured by, but they aren’t the fault of Gen Z any more than they are the fault of Millennials.  I’ve actually been hearing more about Gen Z in media lately, almost as if the world has actually realized that we can’t have people born in the mid-’80s apart of the same generation as those born in the early 2010s.  I’m really just trying to not feel usurped by this upstart, now-trending generation. Gen Z encompasses people born from the late ‘90s to early 2010s, a generation that doesn’t remember 9/11 or a world without smartphones. Spooky, eh?

For me, what the article describes of the Millennial upbringing is accurate -- I did grow up with computers and the internet, but I didn’t have it around me at all hours. I remember in junior high, rushing out after school, to catch the earliest bus home so that I could chat on MSN with a friend living in Spain before he had to go to bed.  But that whole day at school?  Aside from class-designated computer time in a dedicated lab, which didn’t even occur daily, it was entirely offline.  We weren’t even able to bring our own laptops to school until 11th grade, and even then, most didn’t.  My first cellphones could only arduously send SMS via T9 technology, which limited its usefulness.  And accessing the internet with a circa 2002 Nokia?  What a joke!  This was an epoch before the endless onslaught of apps, a world without filters and Bitmoji.  Essentially, even though we largely got our first cell phones by 13 or 14, they were quite limited in capability.  What’s more is that they were strictly banned from usage during class time in junior and senior high, something that was lifted a few years after I graduated high school.  I realize this last bit is more geographically-dependent, as I’m sure many school boards throughout the world were more lax on cell phone usage circa 2008, and even with the outright ban, many still snuck it into class.

Furthermore, I didn’t really grow up with social media.  I know I’m a bit of an outlier for a Millennial, but I had Tumblr before I had Facebook, and the only social network I was apart of in high school was Flickr.  Still, I watched as peers, using Nexopia and Facebook, and migrating to early smartphones, fall prey to the now all-too-common side effects of social media and chatting.  Hell, I still dealt with it through MSN, Flickr, and such.  Our app-centric, mobile world is merely an outgrowth of this paradigm. 

Now, though, things are different.  I have an iPhone, I have multiple social media accounts, and use multiple chat services.  An onlooker could easily peg me as one fully in embrace of the 2017 “always on” lifestyle.  This is where the article really started to intrigue me.  A lot of what the article was describing vis-a-vis the Gen Z kids seemed applicable to this late Millennial.  Perhaps partly due to my not being that far removed from that generation’s eldest cohorts. Although I did grow up without iPhones and iPads and the ability to constantly be “on,” it’s now 2017, and that difference has eroded. I was surprised at the kinship I was feeling towards Gen Z and their woes mentioned in the article.  I may remember a time before all this stuff, but that doesn’t change the fact that I’m living it now.

I recognize I spend too much time on social media, on chat apps, and to a lesser extent, my computer.  It does make me feel much lonelier than when I spend time in the physical world with friends and family, even if too much of that is exhaustive.  It does produce an environment where it’s inevitable to compare yourself to others, and resent others for how much fun they’re projecting on Instagram and Facebook, even if it’s really just a veneer.  Things like read receipts, last active information, and so forth just further aid at digging in the dagger.  It also produces an environment where you’re more likely to just stay in and send Snaps to friends than go out with them, which goes against human nature, as a social species.  It’s obviously extremely toxic and yet most can’t stop the vicious cycle. 

I’ve had my issues with Facebook in particular, and regularly contemplate deleting it, especially now that you can have a Messenger account independent of Facebook.  I’ve deactivated, I’ve deleted the app; now, I’m merely abstaining from posting to it and have moved the mobile app to a more hidden locale on my phone.  But honestly, it’s a problem I have with pretty much all social media, at least social media that is more personal.  I’m more ok with Twitter; it’s mostly just news and memes, not a detailed look into personal lives.  Tumblr is similar, due to its more anonymous nature, although when it was a more active platform, I had the same issues with it.

I recognize that I’m happier when I interact more with the physical world and I really don’t like spending so much time online.  But for me, there’s two major impediments to either significantly curtailing usage, or doing a total blackout, and I recognize it as a detriment to my health.

The first is school, which is obviously not actually related to social media, and so it isn’t an obvious reason for why I can’t stop spending time online.  But, because of how post-secondary is set up now, a lot of stuff occurs online, be it through e-mail, or eClass, where you gain access to readings and slides, not to mention being a place to take notes.  I’ve stopped typing notes, except in special cases, though I still end up using a computer to access other essential stuff for my courses.  And in doing so, it is all too tempting to look one tab over to Twitter, or see a new notification on Facebook, and then you go down that rabbit hole, and bam, you’ve lost 30 minutes of productivity.  I’m beginning to intentionally keep my laptop browser’s tabs all school related now, though I sometimes still get tempted to open new tabs, or tabs sometimes remain open from downtime.  The other, ancillary thing to being on campus is that I’m out, which means I have my phone on me, which means it’s always just there.  I may turn my phone to ‘do not disturb’, but the addictive qualities of smartphones just means I will still manually check for new notifications every now and again.  To entirely remove the distraction of my iPhone, personally, it can’t be present, which is why when I do homework at home, I make sure my phone is nowhere nearby.  Perhaps I should start leaving the phone at home.

The other impediment is more obvious to those who are aware of my background as a photographer.  Since DeviantArt and Blogger, through Flickr, Facebook, et al, and onto Instagram, social networks have been utterly vital for 21st century creatives to push their work to the wider public.  So, although it can be fun to just use social for everyday stuff, I use it as a more serious avenue, and feel it as a necessary evil nowadays.  How am I supposed to share and connect with other artists in 2017 if I do a social media blackout?  A blackout may solve the previous impediment, but not this one.  Having an Instagram is now so essential to share content as a creative.

I could do away with the smartphone, and only use social media and the internet when I’m connected to a computer proper, and essentially live a 2005 existence with the 2017 internet.  I’ve contemplated swapping the iPhone for a flip phone, and I swear it’s only partly over 2000s nostalgia.  I honestly am not hating that idea.  A problem arises from something I’ve belaboured before -- my disdain for the mobile-centric nature of social networks nowadays.    Sure, you can browse and explore Instagram from Chrome on your PC or iMac, but you can’t DM, you can’t view Stories, and most importantly, you can’t upload without tricking your browser into thinking it’s an iPad. Of all the social I use for more serious use today, Instagram is by far the most pivotal, due to its visual nature and strong engagement.  I’ve connected with a lot of amazing photographers, artists, and friends through it.  Even if mobile phones are to blame for teen suicide now being higher than teen homicide, it doesn’t change the fact that they’re at the zeitgeist for connecting in 2017, and app developers know that kids are using their phones far more than their computers and correspondingly create experiences that are mobile-centric.  It helps coding for a mobile interface is easier than a traditional desktop interface, too. 

As things continue, it seems like crucial connections will be increasingly on platforms that couldn’t give a rats ass about desktop interfaces, and so I realize a mobile device is still necessary, unfortunately.  Perhaps I could swap my iPhone for an iPod Touch, or migrate my SIM card to a “dumbphone” and keep the iPhone as a Wi-Fi only device (basically turning it into an iPod Touch).  I could also just get an iPad.  I actually sort of like that idea, but many mobile apps, like Instagram and Snapchat, don’t have a proper version for this mobile device.  I could just get an Android tablet, which doesn’t have the same differentiation that iOS has between phones and tablets, but I’ve had issues with Android, such that, at the risk of sounding like a Cupertino cliche, I’d rather have an iPad if I got a tablet.

Regardless, something needs to change. The current reality is too connected for my well-being.  My productivity is way down, too.  I’m too distracted.  What I find most ironic is that I was planning on watching The Social Network tonight, and instead, got engrossed in a random article, which inspired me to write an essay for the first time in eons with Starboy as my backdrop.  The result was still the same, however -- I again thwarted plans to further push through studies. 

What a world we live in.

#social media #social network #mental health #musings

[russellthornton]

Internalized Misogyny: How to Recognize It, Fight It and Win Over It

Internalized misogyny is much deeper and more complicated than blatant sexism. Learning about what it is, how it formed, and how to fight it is crucial today.

We all know what misogyny and sexism look like. At least I hope we all do. It is clear behavior rooted in the belief that women are less than men. But, internalized misogyny can be seen from anyone, even feminists.

I am sure I have even shown signs of internalized misogyny at points in my life. But what is it? Internalized misogyny is involuntarily believing the stereotypes held against women.

This means that the intense amount of sexism in society has made its way into our psyches and even though we are feminists, some of those negatives beliefs still seep in. [Read: How to instantly recognize someone who hates women]

Why is internalized misogyny a thing?

From a young age, we have all *or almost all* been raised to believe boys and girls are different. Girls wear pink and boys wear blue. Boys work and women take care of the family. A man is bold, but a woman is bossy. These things may not have been engrained in us intentionally, but everything from our parents to television, and pop culture continue to remind us.

It is no surprise that even with the feminist movement on the rise, we still fall down this path of internalized misogyny, sometimes even daily. I catch myself continuously apologizing to men when it is far from necessary.

Society continues to sympathize with men accused of sexual assault because the allegations have ruined their career, over a woman’s life. Judges are lenient on young men who assault women because they have their whole future ahead of them with zero regards to the victim’s future.

And even in the world of dating, we tend to apologize for turning down a man’s offer for a date, turning our cheek to a kiss, or refusing to have sex. Although we as women have nothing to be sorry for, we feel this guilt. We have this responsibility to make men feel like men, but women do not owe men anything. [Read: 9 ways guys manipulate and control their girlfriend]

The effects of internalized misogyny

Internalized misogyny may seem harmless from afar. It, of course, cannot be as bad as outright and blatant sexism, right? Well, maybe, but the effects of internalized misogyny can be long-lasting and consequential for both men and women.

Men who are liberal and seem to understand feminism completely may still show signs of internalized misogyny through their male privilege. When a woman is asked what she does to prevent sexual assault, the list could go on forever, but because a man is a man the thought most likely does not even cross his mind. [Read: 19 inspiring male feminist ideas from around the world]

And yes, men are also assaulted. And yes, it is not directly a man’s fault that he doesn’t carry that burden with him. But internalized misogyny is what leads to it being okay or normal for men not to worry.

The message that men receive at a young age tells them that women owe them something, and the same message is given to women. We are taught gender roles. We are taught to be agreeable, to not fight back, and to be “lady-like.”

Although changes are being made and women are attacking internalized misogyny at every angle, it is still a deep set problem to deal with. And the best way to deal with something more subtle is to identify it and stop it in its tracks.

Signs of internalized misogyny

Attacking internalized misogyny head on not only aids the growth of feminism but also improves everyone’s lives. Women gain self-esteem and live out their fullest potential as men appreciate all women who do and act accordingly.

#1 Appreciating more feminine qualities. Hearing a man complimenting you’re beautiful is always nice. And there is nothing wrong with loving to hear those words. But putting more basis on a compliment about your more traditionally feminine qualities than masculine ones can be problematic.

You don’t have to necessarily prefer to hear that you are a good leader or smart or funny over being called pretty, but knowing your worth on both ends of the spectrum removes internalized misogyny from your mind. [Read: These are compliments that will backfire with women]

#2 Trying to be perfect. That balance that so many women strive for is impossible. You want to be smart but not too smart. Funny, but not funnier than him. You want to be a good cook and look cute, but not put too much effort in.

It is a balancing act so many women try to achieve but so unnecessary. Have you ever seen a man work so hard to be a perfect mix of naughty and nice?

#3 Looking down on traditional gender roles. Traditional gender roles are not evil. Yet, internalized misogyny can lead to that belief. If feminism is all about equality, then a woman who decides to stay at home with her family rather than work can’t be a feminist, right? WRONG!

Feminism is about appreciating and respecting a woman’s right to choose what she does with her life whether that be work, have a family, both, or neither. If you look at women who haven’t made the same choices as you as a lesser person, you may be dealing with internalized misogyny. [Read: Why you should celebrate being female]

#4 Judging other women. Whether you judge a coworker on her shoes, think a woman rocking her natural hair to work is unprofessional, or anything along those lines, you have a touch of internalized misogyny.

Working together as women, no matter how different, is what helps us break this poisonous pattern.

#5 Trying to be cool. Raise your hand if you have tried to be the “cool girl.” *Raises hand*. Being easygoing is something women try so hard to do when sometimes it is in our nature to nitpick. We can not say anything when our guy leaves the toilet seat up or forgets to pick up his dirty laundry. But we can become resentful after so long.

This is even more common in the dating world. You meet a guy, you like him, but he isn’t ready for a commitment. Although you might be ready to walk down the aisle tomorrow, you hold your tongue and follow his lead. Staying silent in these situations only enhances the culture of misogyny.

#6 Interrupting. It is a well-known fact that men interrupt women. In friend groups, in work meetings, even at home. This is brought on by the idea that what a woman has to say can’t possibly be as important as a man’s opinion.

This goes hand in hand with mansplaining. The annoying phenomenon of a man explaining something to a woman in a patronizing way. But women also tend to interrupt fellow women, because sexism pits us against each other rather than celebrating our mutual successes. [Read: Mansplaining and the dicks who do it]

#7 Feeling guilty. Ahhhh, feeling guilty. This is probably the one I have dealt with the most in my life. Feeling guilty for turning down a guy that bought you a drink when a drink does not imply or promise anything to a man.

Feeling guilty for leading on a man then changing your mind. These are all rights women have. Men make these choices all the time, but are they made to feel guilty about it? A man sleeps with a woman but decides not to call her, he moves on. A woman does the same thing and she is judged by society and may even begin to judge herself.

#8 Giving in. This is a difficult one because it requires a lot of strength to fight back at sexism. Sometimes, yes, it is easier to just give in with something small than to fight back and once again allow misogyny to take over and categorize you as whiny or bitchy.

But if a man at work asks you to get him coffee over a male coworker, that is not right. Maybe if it happens once it is because you stood closer, but when this becomes a pattern saying something changes the narrative.

#9 Shaming others. Feminism once again is about respecting women for their choices, no matter what they are. Yet, so many women and men are stuck with this level of internalized misogyny that blames women.

Slut-shaming is a huge example of this. Saying a woman deserves to be treated badly or disrespected because she is open to casual sex is not right. This also leads into to victim blaming. Blaming a victim of sexual assault for dressing too revealing, drinking, walking alone, or anything else rather than actually blaming the attacker is often just straight out sexism.

But, for those that don’t realize it, it is internalized. [Read: Harmful words we need to stop using to describe a woman]

#10 Thinking makeup or dresses aren’t feminist. I have heard multiple times that wearing makeup, loving makeup, being into fashion, etc. is hypocritical when you call yourself a feminist. But anyone, whether male or female that believes that does not truly understand what feminism is.

It is not a movement to make women more powerful than men. It is not about growing out your body hair and not wearing dresses. It is about being who you are in every sense and still be treated equally for that. So looking down on a woman for caring about her appearance is definitely a sign of internalized misogyny.

#11 Double standards. Men are often praised for being stay-at-home dads and giving up that traditional breadwinner role, yet women are often criticized for focusing on their career over family.

If a man is a bachelor into his forties he is a catch, but a woman who has focused on other aspects of her life is an old maid or spinster. These double standards are sometimes quite obvious, but even simply asking a woman who is married if she is going to have a child, but not asking her husband, is internalized misogyny.

#12 Wanting to be different than other women. “I’m not like other girls.” This is a statement I embarrassingly said multiple times in my teenage years without realizing how awful and negative the connotation was.

What is wrong with other girls?

#13 Being okay with oppression. Sitting back and not doing anything about the oppression of women is brought on by internalized misogyny. You think that sexism hasn’t affected your life so you do not bother fighting it. You may think your life is easier without the responsibility. Perhaps you think your opinions don’t matter.

Only looking at feminism from the perspective of your own life is a form of internalized misogyny. Think about it like this. Maybe you’re white so you don’t care about racism because it doesn’t directly affect you. Doesn’t that seem pretty awful? Well, it is the same thing with sexism.

#14 Not reporting sexual assault. I myself have been in this situation, so I never ever blame a woman who fears coming forward for fear of retaliation or disbelief. But these fears are brought on by the patriarchy. They are brought on by our sexist culture.

And although I myself am ashamed of that fear and giving into it at times, we are all victims of internalized misogyny in these moments. [Read: What to do if you’re raped on a date]

#15 Making excuses for men. A man assaults a woman, and people say he was drunk, he couldn’t help himself. Yet, she was drunk, so she asked for it? A man is disrespectful to a woman, and he had a rough day at work. A woman is rude to a man, and she’s a bitch?

Men get excuses made for them because they are used to getting their way. And this is not the ranting of a feminist, it is the cold hard truth.  Many of us continue to make excuses for men whether it be our fathers, brothers, boyfriends, or even male celebrities. But those excuses allow us to fall into the world of internalized misogyny once again.

[Read: The keys for how to respect women]

With each moment you appreciate your own self-worth and the equality between women and men, internalized misogyny is one step closer to being vanquished.

The post Internalized Misogyny: How to Recognize It, Fight It and Win Over It is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

[sdegliarchangeli]

Reinforcing and Perpetuating Our (Epi)Genetic Colonial Inheritance

I suddenly found myself once again contemplating something that has crossed my mind ever so often over the past few months: corporal punishment amongst Afro-Caribbean peoples and other peoples of African descent, within the context of post-colonial culture.  I spend quite a bit of my time deliberately trying to stay in tune with, and connected to, my thoughts, feelings and actions.  I am constantly trying to undo so much of the false and traumatic programming with which I have been bombarded since birth.  Needless to say, it is a task that often seems unending. I know someone who loves to hear others say how "obedient" or "good" — among other adjectives — his children are; he enjoys it to the point of practically singing his own praises on the marvellous job he believes he has done with them.  I have met the majority of his children, and I can say that they are definitely obedient and "good", at least in the way that our society ascribes meaning to those words when it comes to children and youth.  He will proudly proclaim that he is a Christian and wholly believes in biblical scripture, which includes Proverbs 13:24: "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes."  This is the word of the Lord, as is often said after a passage from the holy book is read aloud; but is it, really? When we reflect on the ways in which both Christianity and violence were horrifically used against enslaved Africans, how do we reconcile this reality and the adherence to such words in the rearing of our children, or in a scholastic environment?  How do we, in good conscience, personally administer, or allow the administration of such violence on the bodies of our beloved children by complete strangers?  When did it become perfectly all right to ignore our own historical abuses, but even worse, inflict that same abuse on our children?  Do religion, misguided cultural and social norms and mores, or some absurd and warped nationalist identity, justify such cruelty? A lot of people say, "Well, my mother — or grandmother — used to beat me when I gave trouble, and look at me!  I turned out just fine!"  What I inevitably often wonder is: How do you know that you are just fine?  Do you mean to tell me that all of that violence inflicted upon your person during your formative years, in service to some notion of "obedience" or "goodness", did not traumatise you in any way, or leave psychological scars of which you may not even be aware, or which may have resulted in a lesser version of you? Consider this for a moment: whenever someone has been through a crucible, survived some horrendous abuse or trauma on just one occasion, they are forever changed, sometimes in ways that not even they or their loved ones can fully comprehend.  Now consider how repeated trauma and abuse during a person's formative years and over a period of time could then affect a person.  With each trauma, a piece of the person is eroded or buried.  So, are many of us, who are products of these particular cultures walking around as fragmented versions of ourselves, and not even realising it? Here is another gem, that another friend of mine recently posted as a conversation piece: Deuteronomy 21:18-21: 

"18 If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and [that], when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them:

19 Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place;

20 And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son [is] stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; [he is] a glutton, and a drunkard.

21 And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die: so shalt thou put evil away from among you; and all Israel shall hear, and fear."

I believe that one speaks for itself.  However, some will hasten to say that the Old Testament is passeth away, and we are saved by grace and the New Testament is the new and current covenant, etc.  Okay.  Then, if the New Testament is what adherents of Christianity ought to believe and utilise, why do people still quote from the Old Testament in their efforts to justify all sorts of cruel and inhumane practices.  Would a true, modern theocracy in the Caribbean, for example, permit, or even force, persons to allow others to murder their children without impunity?  Would we gladly swallow and enforce such barbarism without so much as a murmur?  Would our potential murmurs be proscribed and treated as "Hate Speech" or "Blasphemy" or "High Treason"?  I don't know.  Or, would such a system of government rely solely on the New Testament for its laws?  Then again, Exodus is from the Old Testament, so would the "Ten Commandments" no longer be applicable?

I'll be the first to say that I am no theologian, but there are so many proven contradictions, mistranslations — both from a linguistic and socio-cultural perspective — that it is, admittedly, rather hard to keep track.

Here's another delightful contradiction, of which I think many people are just blissfully unaware, or which they just deliberately ignore: The people of Israel, of that time, were described in the Bible as basically being dark of skin.  So... how do we reconcile the information provided in the Bible with most contemporary depictions of The Christ?  Moreover, do the descriptions of his great trials and tribulations provide further historical evidence of humanity's profound hatred for Black bodies?  I mean, if they could do Jesus like that, then damn!  What hope could the rest of us have?  Did those who sought to enslave our African ancestors accept that Jesus was, indeed, Black; and so used that narrative to support what they were doing to the Africans?  I will readily admit that Black people at some points in history also did own slaves, as did Jews, and Arabs, and the list goes on into perpetuity.  I will also readily acknowledge that Black people during the Transatlantic Trade in Enslaved Africans, often participated in the capture and trade of their own people, because someone will want to bring up those facts, but they do not negate the rest.  Last, here's a question that might ruffle some feathers: why would God send his son, which was basically himself physically manifested on the Earthly plane, in the form of a Black male, only to be tortured and abused in such a manner?  Why that form in particular, and what might that tell us about God Him/Her/Itself?

Tangent aside, I want to bring the focus back to my original concern, which is the infliction of violence upon our children.  When I taught at a K-6 Preparatory School last year, some of the children who had been labelled problematic, ended up being some of my favourite children.  Why is that?  Perhaps, because I saw it as a welcome challenge to try to reach those that other teachers had already designated as unreachable; or perhaps, because I was once also labelled a "problem child", despite much evidence to the contrary, I could see in them what many were unable, or simply unwilling, to see in me.  This is not to say that there aren't children with real mental health issues, who often require specialised assistance with their specific psychological or behavioural challenges; but this is not the case for all children.

In a matter of weeks, I had managed to earn the trust and respect of those very same "problem children", without having to utilise corporal punishment.  Of course, it was not always an easy road, but in the end it was worth it, because I had managed to reach them without the use of physical or psychological abuse.  I was very proud of what I had accomplished with them in the short time that I was privileged to be their teacher.  The love and support of the students was well worth the effort, and I would like to believe that I managed to leave with them some tools that might help them to participate in the dismantling of certain parts of a system that does not, and should not, work for us.

A most essential component in dealing with those labelled as problematic, in my experience, is to identify the root of the behaviour, particularly within the context of how the young person identifies or views him/herself — do forgive the binary description.  If one can do that, and address the young person with a real willingness to listen, and with empathy and compassion, I have found that one can truly provide the sort of assistance, and where necessary, discipline, that the young person may need.  If we cannot divorce our egos from those situations, we might as well deploy the belt or whatever else is on hand, but use it on ourselves, instead; for we would have failed in our duty to aid a young person in need, and by extension, in the development of a kinder, more empathetic and overall emotionally intelligent human race.

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