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ineffablelvrs · 9 days

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ok nevermind abt that ask i just replied to the person was a zionist and i dont want zionists on my blog BUT i do want to do a post about polish classic literature that ive read so let's get into it

so basically to start it all off there's a bunch of books you have to read for school in poland and that's like mandatory and in every school its the same and most people hate it a lot because they think its boring (its not the language is just a bit weird but i mean that's to be expected lol)

(for. literally all of these 😭 very important are the polish partitions, there were 3 of them, and after the 3rd one (1795) poland disappeared from the map for 123 years, its land divided between prussia, russia and austria, regaining its independence again in 1918 & it's important to read these with the context in the back of ur mind :])

the most hated are two most important polish poets and dramatists, adam mickiwicz (his books: sir thaddeus, konrad wallenrod, forefathers' eve/dziady) and juliusz słowacki (his books: balladyna, lilla weneda, kordian (dude's really great at making female characters honestly so id recommend balladyna and lilla weneda)) and due to their literary works they're pretty important to the culture (and here's a fun fact, they hated each other and now people ship them) (actually another funfact słowacki is suspected to be ??? actually idk i think hes just queer for a lot of reasons, particularly his letters to zygmunt krasiński)

ok but abt their books, mickiwicz's sir thaddeus is, as the subtitle suggests, about polish nobility and the last foray in lithuania, and its to poland what homer's iliad is to greece LOL

konrad wallenrod, my personal favorite of mickiwicz's works, is abt a lithuanian knight who goes undercover as a teutonic knight and become the order's grand master to fight and defeat it. machiavelli's philosophy plays a big part here (the motto is literally from the prince), and there's a coded message here how to fight tsarist russia

forefathers' ever/dziady is divided into 3 parts (part 2, part 3 and part 4, do not ask me why there's no part 1 i do not know). part 2 is about, well, forefathers' eve, part 4 is abt a guy who killed himself but also not really because of like failed love or whatever and hes telling a priest the story of his life or something i don't actually remember i havent read it in a long time 😭😭 part 3 is about the same guy but he changes his name so he apparently never killed himself ?? but anyways its my favorite one and it's considered one of the most important polish literary works and its got great lines and religious symbolism but it's also shows the pain of polish people, particularly polish youth, and cruelty of the russian tsar alexander and all his subordinates (also, the beef between mickiwicz and słowacki is present here. one of the negative characters, the doctor, is actually august bécu, słowacki's stepfather, who died the same way his character dies in the play lol)

onto juliusz słowacki now, kordian is abt your typical romanticism era guy, so you know, weltschmerz and all that but later on in life he finds a purpose in life and of course its helping poland regain its independence. so he decides to kill the tsar by himself and yeah there's no way this could go wrong right. written after the november uprising, it analyses the reasons of it's failure

balladyna is about a peasant girl who kills her sister to marry a noble man, and later keeps killing more people so no one knows she killed her sister and also because she wants to be the queen. great for cain and abel enjoyers id say lmao

lilla weneda is abt a nation doomed to failure from the beginning of the play by the prophet roza weneda. the story follows lilla weneda (also doomed from the beginning lmao) trying to save her father from death from the hands of the enemy who captured him and her brothers, so she makes a bet with the queen of the nation that captured him. it's inspired by celtic and slavic culture, and also greek tragedies. could be interpreted in a bunch of ways, like why the november uprising failed, why poland lost it's independence etc

probably the least hated one is the doll by bolesław prus, lotsssss of topics to use for writing argumentative essays which is why ppl like it sm 😭 and it's actually really good, it depicts a detailed picture of warsaw in the late 1870s . also one of the important plot points is the unrequited love of the mc, stanisław wokulski, for an artistocrat izabela łęcka

my favorite one is the wedding by stanisław wyspiański !! its a play abt a real life event of wedding of a member of cracow intelligentsia and a peasant girl (at the time it was rly popular for the aristocrats to marry peasant girls) with lots of symbolism !!!! wyspianski analyses the state of polish society which is unable to start an uprising, demythologizes a bunch of national myts at the time :]

another one of my favorites is the deluge by henryk sienkiwicz! its a long read so be warned lol im still reading it honestly 😭 it basically was created to keep polish people's spirits up in the 19th century, and its abt 16th century nobility !! its mostly a story abt andrzej kmicic and how his character changes and develops due to historcial circumstances (and also bc of his love for a woman) (honestly him and his lover oleńka are one of my favorite ships in classic literature 😭) but there are other great plot points ofc

gloria victis by eliza orzeszkowa is also a great one. set a few years after the january uprising, the wind visits a forest it hasn't been in in a while and the nature tells the story of the people who took part in the january uprising (the name is never mentioned due to censorship but we can deduct that thanks to context clues)

the coming spring by stefan żeromski depicts an natural and brutal image of the russian revolution, armenian-tatar conflict and of poland right after it regained independence again and it's issues. the mc is a pretty conflicted i believe is the right word? character which i think makes him interesting to analyse

tango by sławmoir mrozek i wouldn't say is hated, actually 9 out of 10 polish students love it and reasonably so ! it's sososoososo great and its so funny and polish writers just looooove analysing our society and in this case honestly just society. its abt a world with no rules with the roles reversed (the parents are rebellious and rebelled against all societal norms and everything is chaos now and their son wants the old world and its norms to come back bc like i said everything is a mess and he also wants to rebel but because he cant rebel against anything else he has to rebel against his parents and the lack of any norms)

if yall want the full list of polish mandatory reading books i can totally hive it to you !!! anyways i hope i convinced at least a bunch of people to read some of these because i really wish they were more popular lol

#pollit #polish literature #polska literatura #literature #classic literature #bookblr #book tumblr #book recommendations #books

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climberclown · 10 months

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I’m actually going insane for some reason I thought this would be a funny one shot anyways based off an image and the animation I made on it SMUT WARNIG NOT OK THE CIDEO THE FANFIC PLS ONT READ IF U DONT LIKE SEX OK THANK YOU !!! <3

robert x ross SMUT!! (THEY ARE 25 and 27 , ROBERT IS 25 AND ROSS IS 27 )

context before reading:

ross and robert used to be married until roy talked them both into getting a divorce. ross still really loves robert but robert has moved on and married susie; whom he doesn’t even fricking like and is jst married to her bc he was being pressured to. he also still loves ross .. ;3 wink wink anyways I hope you love this totally cool fanfiction that I’m writing on here bc I don’t want to get wattpad let’s get started jake paulers !!!! ALSO QUICK NOTE I WAS ABT TO START Robert is british that’s my headcanon I’m sorry it’s not canon but GODDAMMM NN it’d be so cute (I like British) OK OK I’ll start now.: b!!

“Babe, that shoe won’t..” Robert grumbled as Susie tried to get a size seven, which he was not, onto his foot. “God dammit! Susie, I’m not Cinderella!” He yelled through the sizing hall, disrupting all the other happy wedding couples. He stared daggers into Susie’s embarrassed flushed face, then looked away as her eyes stared back.

“Come on, Robert,” She started, trying to reason with him. “I don’t want to do this either. You think I wanted to marry a giant with a ponytail? I wanted to marry an average sized handsome man. But, I got .. you.” She spat, now kicking the shoe she was trying to get on with her heels.

“I am not a giant!” Robert exclaimed. He flushed, knowing she was actually right. “If you don’t wanna marry me then why are you? I’d rather go back to..” Robert trailed himself off, knowing if he went there she’d cause the biggest TikTok scene you’d ever see.

“I’m marrying you because if I do I can buy anything I want!” Susie snarked. “I mean, living with a pastor is dumb too.” She referred to her and Pump’s dad who worked at a pastor at their local church. He was very religious about his Christianity and Susie hated it. She tried to rebel by burning the churches main bible, but they just got a replacement in ten minutes. “You have all that money you’ll never use.”

“I do use it.” Robert picked up a size nine from a different box and slid it on. Susie stopped her efforts and huffed. She picked up the size sevens and walked away, leaving Robert with five fancy shoe choices. He stared at all of them, but eventually picked the ones that looked just like the ones..

at their wedding..

He smiled thinking about how happy he was. With Susie, it was never going to be like that. She yelled all the time and sometimes it was funny, but when you’re the one being yelled at, it’s quite not. He frowned. He wished it would be like that, if Susie had found that ‘average sized handsome man’, maybe she’d be like that with him. Happy.

Robert got up and grabbed the shoe box, paid for it, then left. They had already invited everyone. They had already picked out their outfits. They had already picked up the cake. All that was left to do was get ready and do it. The truth was, he didn’t want to. He didn’t want to marry her. He was sure Susie was a nice girl underneath her saltiness, but he was never going to get that. They knew each other through grade school and high school, but they hated each other then, too. It was never meant to be and they both knew it, but they still were both willing to go through with it.

“Oof!” A voice whimpered. Robert snapped out of his thinking and looked down at the person he just trampled and smiled.

“Ross!” Ross looked up and smiled back. He quickly got up and brushed himself off. “Where have you been?” Robert asked. He hadn’t seen him since he’d told him about him and Susie’s wedding.

“You know.. working.. at the tattoo shop..? Is that what you want me to say?” Ross’s smile faded. Ross wasn’t particularly happy that Robert was marrying someone else, let alone somebody he knew he didn’t like. “What do you want me to say after you divorced me because a midget told you to, then decided to engage the most whitest girl you could find that you don’t even like?” Ross put his hand on his hip and waited for Robert to answer. Robert stared, and his smile was gone too. He scratched the back of his neck nervously.

“Ross, you know I’m sorry. I was happy with you..” Robert answered.

“Then why were you so quick to leave?” Ross said, his words laced with poison.

“I don’t know!” Robert quickly said back. Ross stood and his glare softened. He didn’t quite know himself why he agreed to it either. To make him happy? To make Roy happy? To make Robert happy? It was a mystery to him. Robert saw his glare was gone, so he took the opportunity. “Do you want to walk to the ceremony room?” He asked.

“To your wedding ceremony room?” Ross stared blankly. “Yeah. I wanna see if it’s better than ours.”

“Oh, trust me. It is. Susie wanted to make it look pretty. Too pretty.” He gagged. Ross laughed.

“Yeah, I bet.” He though and gagged too. Robert smiled and they walked along the busy sidewalk to their ceremony room. They walked in and it hit both of them like they were looking directly at the sun. “Jesus christ! How did the decorators even see?” Ross closed his eyes shut. Robert pushed Ross in and closed the two doors behind them. Ross finally opened his eyes again. “Woah..” He was actually amazed with how gorgeous it looked.

“Do you like it?” Robert asked. Ross nodded and started picking at the string lights attached on the wall.

“Dude, how do they even get those on there?” He stared at the lights in awe.

“Uhm.. super glue?” Robert answered. Ross looked back and looked mind blown.

“What! No way. There’s more to it than that.”

“Yes way. I know because I did it. I had to help.”

“No way!” Ross smiled.

“Yes way!” Robert smiled back. They both walked around the room together pointing out the most elegant things. Ross was amazed at how simple things stayed and Robert was amazed at how he was amazed.

A few hours had passed, amazingly. They both had gone through the room about a dozen times going over how it stayed and how it shone. They finally sat down at one of the white tables. “I wish our wedding was like this.” Ross smiled sadly.

“I don’t. You’d be too amazed by lights shining to even kiss me.” Robert teased.

“Oh really? How would I forget to kiss the most handsome man in that room?” Ross winked. Robert felt his face flush and he giggled then turned away. “.. and this room, Robert.” Robert flinched. He looked back at Ross who was smirking. He stuttered, couldn’t find his words, then looked back at the light he was staring at. “Come on, Rob. I know you want . . .

me . ‘’

Robert looked back and gaped, his face now a deep red. “Ross, I’m getting married today! Susie would fucking kill me!” Ross rolled his eyes and smirked again, knowing how to fluster Robert even more.

“And I want to fucking fuck you.” Ross softly squeezed Robert’s hand. Robert could feel his heart pounding in his throat along with his stomach sinking. He wanted this. He knew he did. But he was so scared of what Susie would do..

“No, I can’t,” He said with trembling breath. “I��d break her heart.” Robert sympathized Susie, even though she would never do that to him. He took his hand away from Ross, who took his hand right back.

“What heart?” Ross smiled. “You know she doesn’t love you. I know you don’t love her. So come on, I know when you want me. I can hear it in your voice..” Ross whispered. Robert felt chills on his back he hadn’t felt since the divorce. Ross squeezed his hand tighter.

“Al..alright.” Robert gulped. His breath shuddered as he looked down at Ross who bit his lip and slyly went under the white table. Robert flinched as Ross reappeared in front of Robert’s legs. He rested his head on Robert’s knees and looked up at him. Robert couldn’t hide a giggle. “What are you doing?” He laughed.

“Are you gonna let me see how hard you are, fuckface?” Ross grinned. Robert smiled, but sat still and shook his head. “You want to play?” Ross purred. He forcibly spread apart Robert’s legs who let out a grunt. Ross snickered. “You’re already getting off to me teasing you?” Robert looked away from him with a blood flushed face. Ross shrugged and unzipped Robert’s jeans and slowly took out his member while Robert stifled tiny moans. Ross smiled more and sat on Robert’s lap, front facing him. He grabbed Robert’s face with one hand on his member, turned his face to his own, and whispered in his ear.

“Did you miss me, whore?” Robert gulped and nodded. “Exactly.” Ross pushed his face onto Robert’s and kissed him hard while pulling on the back of his hair. Ross suddenly stopped and Robert started panting heavily whilst Ross stared.

“What’s wrong? Why did you stop?” Robert said in between pants.

“You’re holding your breath. You’re not with Susie anymore. You’re with me.” Ross warned. Robert shuddered and nodded again. Ross kissed him rough again but this time while stroking his member. Robert shuddered and moaned quietly while Ross explored his mouth. Ross could feel Robert’s hot breath escaping from his mouth and pressing onto their faces. Ross slowly stopped kissing Robert and wiped his mouth, getting off of the red mess in front off him. Ross smiled at him and Robert weakly smiled back in the chair. “You’re cute when you’re hot.” Before Robert could respond, Ross kneeled and shoved Robert’s cock into his mouth, motioning up and down. Robert covered his mouth, let his head back, and let out muffled moans while Ross went faster then slower. Robert winced and stopped covering his own mouth.

“Ross.. I’m gonna cu..” Robert moaned. Ross stopped quickly and kneeled to Robert’s head.

“Come before me and you’ll have hell.” Robert winced and covered his mouth once more, getting pain out of Ross’s pleasure. Ross let his own hard member out and sat down once again on Robert’s lap. He pressed his own member against the other and stifled an wince of his own. Robert uncovered his mouth and looked at Ross.

“Are you going soft on me, Ross?” Robert said between heavily shuddered breaths. Ross grumbled and started grinding against Robert’s member. “Ross!” Robert yelled, surprised. His head fell back and he let out loud moans. Ross quickly covered Robert’s mouth himself.

“You don’t want your ‘bride’ hearing you, do you?” Robert moaned and drooled over Ross’s hand while Ross kept going with his grinding. Ross then brung his head down and started to bite Robert’s neck, looking for a sweet spot. As he bit, he finally found one after Robert let out a passionate moan. “Still the same, isn’t it darling?” Ross whispered through his own wincing and kept biting and sucking Robert’s sweet spot whilst grinding his member. Robert winced and pulled Ross’s hand away.

“Ross.. please.. I have to..” Robert winced. Ross covered his mouth again and whispered into his ear.

“I’m not even close, babe..” He teased Robert as Robert started to whine. He continued his biting and grinding until Robert suddenly lifted his head, lifted Ross’s hand away, and started passionately kissing Ross as hard as he could. Ross moaned and closed his eyes shut while Robert started to stroke both members while Ross winced and groaned. Ross finally climaxed and started grinding slower. As soon as Robert saw this, he climaxed as well and grabbed the back of Ross’s head and continued to roughly kiss him. Ross pushed Robert’s kissing away, leaving a string of saliva which Ross wiped off. He panted until he noticed they were both still hard. He slyly smiled and gazed at Robert who was still wincing from the session. He started purring which got Robert’s attention.

“What..?” He panted.

“It’s my turn.” Ross purred. Robert got up and Ross slid into his place. Robert stood in front of him and started to slowly kneel down in an attempt to tease Ross. Ross grumbled. “Come on! I didn’t tease yo-“ Robert started licking Ross’s member slowly, teasing him. Ross shook and winced. Robert stopped and smiled.

“Do you want me to go faster?” Robert said quietly. Ross nodded, embarrassed that he was making him communicate. “What?” Ross looked away.

“. . yes.” Ross said quietly, his voice trembling from anticipation.

“I can’t hear you Ross.” Robert slowly stroked Ross’s member, waiting for a response he accepted.

“. . yesngh...” Ross moaned in between his response as Robert stroked his cock faster. Ross gritted his teeth as Robert stroked him and panted. Robert smiled and stroked his own while hearing Ross’s pants. Ross stared down at Robert and started stroking with him while he held on to his hair. He whimpered and muttered something Robert couldn’t hear.

“What?” Robert stopped and listened.

“..Please.. I need this… I need you.. Robert..” Ross pleaded. Robert gazed at him and grinned.

“I’m not gonna leave you this time..” Robert whispered and softly kissed Ross. Ross put his arms around Robert and kissed him softly back.

Shortly after, they’d both finished again. That chair they just ‘used’ had been ruined now. They finished just in time to hear Susie come in with her big goofy wedding dress and say “What the fuck are you two doing?” Right before Robert called off their wedding.

So, they had their own wedding. With all the superglued lights on the wall and a huge fucking cake with awesome icing and Susie wasn’t allowed anywhere near the wedding. They ate all the amazing fucking cake together and lived together for the rest of their lives. The end.” Roy closed his huge fucking book with gold pages. Robert and Ross stared at him, wide eyed.

“WHY THE FUCK DID YOU WRITE THAT?” Ross screamed while Robert gripped his hand for comfort.

“Well that’s how it happened, right?” Roy smiled.

“We didn’t fuck in a wedding hall, Roy!” Robert stared at Roy in disgust.

“Yeah, we fucked at my house.” Ross crossed his arms.

#spooky month #spooky month fanfic #robert x ross #smut fanfiction

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forcingtumbles · 11 months

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I feel like im going insaaannneeeee

my mother had a VERY severe injury at the start of this month which will prevent her from walking independently for another 4 months at best. My brother and I (with lots of support from my husband, too) have been caring for her this entire time because she needs 24/7 assistance. My narcissistic father has taken her to doctors appointments throughout the month/stayed in the hospital during her multiple surgeries, but has otherwise probably contributed less than 24hrs of care to her across the entire month. He'll pick up 10 minutes here, 20 minutes there, and maybe take a 2hr nap in the same room as her every so often which frees my brother and I to leave the room for a few moments. But boy do we have to scrape for that support. He's also thrown two major blow-out tantrums since mom's accident:

#1) he threw things all over the place in front of my mom while screaming at her and inanimate objects right before mom had visitors over. He only partially cleaned it up in time.

#2) he screamed at her for like 5 uninterrupted minutes basically calling her stupid and unhelpful. And this was because she had been expressing concern that he wasn't working efficiently enough to meet a deadline for his home business-- a home business that hes sunk over half a million dollars into (almost every dollar of my parents savings) with no major profits to speak of (i think hes gained back like 100k across 10 years AT BEST).

He is incapable of completing the simplest tasks without asking her or me a dozen questions that we don't know the answers to because he has what is needed to complete the task-- reading instructions for "cooking" a simple breakfast, or reading symbols to determine if a dish is dishwasher safe, for instance. He even gave her a pile of clean clothes to help him fold despite the fact that she has to stay very still or else she worsens the pain of her leg injury.

And he is bitching about every simple menial task that the rest of us do without giving a second thought, like getting groceries.

To top it all off, he (surprise surprise) isn't paying an ounce of attention to my moms condition, physical or emotional. Today, a new development was that she became extraordinarily nauseous. He suggested three different times that she eat something within the span of like 30mins after she said she doesn't even wanna hear mention of food from being so extremely nauseous. That was at breakfast, then he did the exact same thing at dinner when she was even worse than beforewhich made her gag.

I wanna grab him by the shoulders and shake the egocentrism out of him.

Hes always hated me and fawned over my brother (which drives my brother up the wall from too much of his obnoxious attention). Anything i say to him, he spins into "You just dont think i can do anything right, ever!!" My brother is too conflict avoidant to stand up to him when hes making my mother or any of the rest of us miserable (which I can understand, seeing as we had to fend for ourselves emotionally growing up around such an active volcano of unpredictable emotions).

But my mother tolerates aaaallll of this and makes constant excuses. I think she might finally be seeing how little hes willing to do for her despite all that shes sacrificed for him, cuz in the past few years and particularly the past few days, she hasnt been as adamant about searching for excuses for his unforgivable behaviors and selfishness. When I was a religious child, I used to pray that they would divorce. I still dont think they will, but I sure hope that all this bullshit will at least illustrate to her that he has never loved any of us because hes too full of blind love for himself.

My husband has had a huge problem with my father in particular lately because we're supposed to be moving into a new place together. But instead, I'm having to dedicate myself to acting as my mother's spouse, "in sickness and health," because my father wont. Even before now, I've always played my mother's emotional spouse because my father is so emotionally and verbally abusive or neglectful. Im just sooooo sick of this shit. The entire family would have such an easier time taking care of my mom if my dad were just not in the picture at all, I swear.

Rant over sorry to clog any dashes

#Personal #Personal 2023 #Rant #Huge massive angry rant #Maybe some triggers idek anymore

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surveysonfleek · 2 years

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1660.

Do you have mean comments that replay in your head and haunt you? i used to post travel vlogs on youtube and can still remember all the mean comments i received. there werent much but i remember them over the good ones!

Did you go Black Friday shopping this past Black Friday? i dont remember if i did last year. i most likely got sucked into an online shopping sale though

^If so, what was the best deal you got? i forgot

Have you ever seen a spirit? nope

Are you happy that the year is coming to an end? not really. time is going really fast

Have you ever bought a designer purse? i was gifted one. idk if/when ill buy one myself. id have to really love it

What color was your senior prom dress? black with some white

Would you ever consider a career in writing? haha never. im not a creative writer whatsoever

Have you ever purchased a YouTuber’s merch? If so, what did you buy? nope

Are you better at spelling or writing? spelling for sure

If someone signed you up for karate lessons, would you take them? nope

What was the last movie you watched? Would you recommend it to people? catwoman. definitely not lol, it was cringe but halle berry looked amazing in it

Do you update your Facebook relationship status when it changes? i havent changed it in 13 years lol

Do you want your own house someday? i already do! a second home is on the card next

Are you superstitious? sometimes but not really

When you go to McDonalds, what drink do you usually get? coke or frozen coke

Have you ever thought about your wedding? always, its happening soon

Would you rather see Taylor Swift or Carrie Underwood in concert? tay

Growing up, did you see your cousins often? yes, i did

Where was your first job at? this kooky crystal store. funnily enough i wasnt into crystals then or now lol

Ever seen your parents make out? no lol

What’s your dream height and weight? im okay with my height rn but id love to weigh less

What do you do when your house loses power? check the electricity box

What piercing do you hate? haha i dont particularly ‘hate’ any

Were you raised in a religious house? yeah but not overly religious

Do your parents get mad when your on the computer for hours? haha no, only when i was a kid

Have you ever been asked for a nude picture? yes

What’s your favorite thing about your crush/bf/gf? everything

What’s the worst thing? when he sneezes. its way too loud

What song can bring you down? meh, nothing

What would you do if your parent hit you? id be in shock, i wasnt hit as a kid be either parents so itd be completely out of character if they ever did now while im an adult

Ever see yourself going to jail? no

Last song you sang? i forgot :(

Has the last person you kissed slept with more then 3 girls? nope lol

Ever been tested for any STDs? no

Do you think it’s weird when girls change in front of their bf/gf? haha why would that be weird?

Get a new camera or new phone? new phone! mine is still going strong though

Last person that saw you naked (can’t be yourself): my fiance

Ever kissed someone half-naked? yes

Is being sweaty nasty? yes ugh i hate waking up in the middle of the night sweaty

Are your parents embarrassing? nah, they never were tbh

Do you prefer dating a virgin? Or a guy who’s been around? -

Are you blond? no

Do you like bacon? i do but im really fussy with it. i hate american and canadian bacon. with aussie bacon, theres a few diff cuts. i dont like shortcut bacon

Do you have an annoying dog? no

What was the first comic book you ever had an obsession over? honestly the simpsons comics haha. my parents would never buy them for me so id always read them while i went grocery shopping with my mum as a kid. id finish the comic by the time she was done and would put it back on the shelves haha

What is your favorite thing to do on your phone? prob tiktok tbh

What color was your first phone? black

Was your first phone a flip phone? nope

If you’re a girl, have you ever had an embarrassing period story? hmm nothing on a public scale tbh

What was your worst experience in high school? i had a good high school experience tbh. my parents separated while i was in highschool so there’s that

#survey #surveys #quiz #bored #questions

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ps1snake · 2 years

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getting all confused and mixed up bc of the worlds least reliable narrator harry disco e. love that guy

#mi #my friend is having thoughts about dora (unknown he has not dhared yet) (waves at you) and the mere mention of it hasME having thiughts abou #about her #spoilers ahead beware #brbrbrbrbrbbrrbrbrbebrbrbbrbrbrbrbr. < trying ti get beyond the see more thingy. i think im there now #okay so #like oaky. okay #dora to me is either 1. genuinly just some girl. like they were a couple doomed to fail from the start but in a very normal regular way. and #when she left it made harry spiral through really no fault of her own. it happens !#OR 2. she was a leetle fucked up and encoraged the whole… saintification thing from harry - i think this sometimes just bc of how like.#potent all of that is w/ her despite harry not seeming to be particularly religious/delorian outside of it?#i could go either way i think.. definitly i do think that they never would have lasted. not happily anyway #since we really only know through harry (and a bit through jean who seems to blaim dora a bit for harry spiraling) its hard to know #bc i mean. well youve seen him #and in jeans case i dont think he would blaim her without reason BUT! i do think since him and harry were clearly very close at one point i #can see him having that anger with her just bc of that. like sometimes ur homies ex wasnt that bad you jsut hate them on priciple. something #akin tk that but not quite on that specifiic mark. cuz he does definitly definitly also blaim harry LOL he KNOWS this is all harrys own doin #doing. i dont know. disco e she makes me go (pops)

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pinoy-culture · 3 years

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before I ask my question, I just wanted to say thank you so so so much for keeping up your blog and consistently giving out information where its readily accessible!!!

maybe this will make me sound like an idiot but to preface, I’m a mixed filipino american. My mom is filipino and some chinese and my dad is some sort of european and puerto rican. i was wondering, in your opinion, do you think it’d be okay for me (eventually) work with diwata and anitos? And how can I start? Ive been trying to communicate with my ancestors and I’ve been looking for books to one day buy (im extremely broke so your blog and any filipino witches i come across is all the info i can get) but i honestly have no clue where to start other than with my ancestors (weird dreams lately but nothing ancestor related i think). i took a DNA test as a gift and it pointed, predominantly, to the Western Visayas so im assuming i should study more on pre-colonial Bisayan culture (my lolas from iloilo so it makes sense i guess) but i also know that “blood quantum” is a colonizer concept so i dont wanna rely on it too much :/ sorry to ramble but pls help lol

First, I'd like to say thank you for following the blog! It really does mean a lot to me to hear from others over the years on how much my blogs have helped them learn about our history and culture.

Now as for working with our diwata and the anito, that is completely ok. The whole blood quantum thing among some Filipinos I honestly don't agree with. As long as you have a family member who is Filipino, you are Filipino regardless of your "percentage" and of how you look. If you have Filipino blood in you, the ancestors are there with you. Even if you weren't raised within Filipino culture or a Filipino household because your parents never brought you up in it, or you are an adoptee like some I've met over the years. Your ancestors are your ancestors regardless. They see you and know you and that is all that matters.

Now there really isn't any book focused specifically on reviving our precolonial beliefs and practices. Yes, some did survive and some even blended in with a form of Folk Christianity in the Philippines. You can see many of the older practices and beliefs still alive, but they have been replaced with Catholic imagery and Saints.

But, in regards actually believing in and worshiping our old deities, doing rituals dedicated to the deity, or even some rites of passage like the Tagalog first menstruation rite of passage, or making carved figures dedicated to the diwata and anito, or performing maganito/paganito or atang to the diwata and anito, majority of Filipinos don't do this, or even know it.

So for being an Anito Reconstructionist, which is a label I personally use for my spiritual beliefs and others have adopted, there really isn't a book for it. A Reconstructionist in other ethnic spiritual paths, such as the Celtic, Roman, Aztec, Kemetic, Greek, Norse, etc., are those who look at historical records to try and piece together what was once practiced and believed in prior to Christianity. Over many years, these different spiritual paths have eventually come together, formed a community, and have resources like books and teachers. They have had the time to do all the research and put together a more formal spirituality based on those Pre-Christian beliefs and bringing it to the modern day where they have hundreds to thousands of people who have gone back to those beliefs. With some, they have even created temples, shrines to their deities, and even have celebrations.

Unfortunately that is not the case for us. However, due to the growing interest in our precolonial beliefs and practices over the years, I can see Anito Reconstructionism growing within the next several years. It already has, with many people actually trying to learn more about these beliefs and our old deities. The amount of people of people I've seen and talked to who have expressed their interest to reclaim these precolonial beliefs and practices is nothing compared to 10 years ago when it was hard to even find one or two people who did.

It is why I've been writing this book for a few years now dedicated to helping others in wanting to reclaim our precolonial beliefs and practices as a starting point in their research. For now though, I always recommend those who are starting to simply just read the historical texts. Grab a notebook and write down notes. Organize your notes into deities, rituals, how to make an offering, any prayers to a specific deity, how to set up an altar, etc.

Seeing as your family is from the island of Panay in the Western Bisayas, like my moms side are from, I would start with looking at the Bisayan precolonial beliefs and practices. A really good reference is reading Francisco Alcina's History of the Bisayans (1668). Volume 3 is available online in English which you can find here. Volume 3 goes into a lot of detail in the beliefs and practices. The Boxer Codex, if you are able to get a copy of the English translation, is also really good reading material.

Getting Started:

In terms of getting started, keep in mind that there is no one monolithic belief system or practice in the Philippines. Before there ever was a Philippines, we were different nations with different beliefs and practices. It is important to know your ethnic groups beliefs and practices and know their history. For example, I am Bisaya (Akeanon specifically) and Tagalog and that is what I work with. Others who I know follow the Bikolano, Kapampangan, or Ilokano beliefs. Though there are some similarities, each ethnic group had their own set beliefs and practices.

I often tell people that you can't just mix and match between them. For example, though I work with both the Tagalog and Bisayan pantheons, I wouldn't dare do a ritual offering to both a Tagalog or Bisayan deity at the same time. It's always separate. You also can't combine 2 similar deities together from different ethnic groups just because they share similar attributes. It's just rude and disrespectful.

Start out small. Set up an altar dedicated to your ancestors. If you have any family members who have passed, put a photo of them on the altar. Leave offerings of rice cakes such as suman, food like chicken adobo, or even a cup of drink such as tuba, lambanog, or even Red Horse beer. But if you can't get access to an alcoholic drink either because one you are a minor or 2 it's not available where you live, you can simply replace it with a non-alcoholic drinks like coconut juice. Get a coconut shell or a seashell to either place these offerings as bowls/plates or even use them to put your kamangyan or incense.

Then start researching how our Bisayan ancestors worshiped and practiced. Study the history and read historical accounts, books, and articles about them. Write down what you have learned on these precolonial beliefs and practices and reconstruct or revive them. This is what Polytheistic Recinstructionists do. I have listed links to these texts here.

Ask questions to your family, particularly your elders. See if they know of anything or if they can share some traditional practices and beliefs they know of have heard of. You would be surprised how, despite some families being really religious, many still believe in the spirits, do some form of ancestor veneration, believe in omens that are being told to you by the ancestors or spirits, etc.

If you can, try to go back to the Philippines and see your family's ancestral home, see where they grew up, etc. Ask about family stories and folk stories. For example, my mom grew up in Aklan and has always told me stories of the aswang and certain omens. She also constantly talks about the mischievous "little people" who play tricks on you (for example putting something down like your keys and then it goes missing, until you find it again somewhere else). In the Western Bisayas, they are known as kama-kama. There is also a story of how her grandmother's cat visited her during her wake. The cat was missing for years, but it came back and stayed sleeping on top of the casket for days before it left. My mom told me that it was the cat paying their respects to her grandmother.

Keep in mind also and acknowledge our indigenous communities who have kept their beliefs and practices. Don't try to take them into your own. I have seen people cherry pick things from the Manobo of Mindanao or the Kalinga in the Cordillera, which is just disrespectful. Many of the IP, though some still have kept their beliefs, it isn't the most important aspect to them. What they are most concerned about are other issues such as losing their homes due to occupation by oil or logging companies, other settlers such as the Tagalog and Bisayans (especially in Mindanao), getting targeted as "rebels" by the Philippine military and often getting killed. But, by cherry picking beliefs especially of the IP groups, it's just disrespectful.

I will be teaching classes on Anito Reconstructionism soon and will have my first class possibly at the end of the month or next month. I decided to do these classes seeing as there is a growing community who are interested, but don't know where to start. I'll be doing a proper announcement on these classes real soon so look out for the announcement and hopefully you will be able to join!

#filipino #diwata #anito #anito reconstructionist #polytheist #polytheism #precolonial philippines #faq #question #long post

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uncloseted · 3 years

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there's a part of me that still thinksa bortion is murder. i act like i support it to fit in but deep down i dont. please just listen. i think forcing someone to go through a pregnagncy they don't want is inhuman but it also feels inhuman to kill a baby and i dont like thsi idea that if youre 4 weeks pregnant and you want it its a baby but if youre 4 week pregnant and dont want it then its just a clump of cells thats just not how scence works. so theres this woman who was forced to get an .

Anonymous asked:

abortion and she was 6 months pregnant and apparently th baby waws born alive but it died shortly after from ashpyxia and i just dont know what to think. i know forcing smeone to get an abortion is just as bad as forcing them to give birth and that theres no such thing as a six month abortion and at least wher e i live abortions are only available until week 14 but like wwhat if someone is 15 or 16 weeks or 7 months, do they not have a choice anymore? please dont think im a bigot im not im so

Anonymous asked:

sorry i just dont want to be brainwashed by ANYONE, pro life or pro choice and im just so easily influenceable i just want to support whats right you know

No worries at all! I don't think you're a bigot and I'm glad that you want to engage with this issue critically. I'm happy to give you the facts as they stand and offer you my perspective on the issue. Apologies in advance that this is a bit long, but please try to stick with me until the end! All of this is important in understanding the different sides of this discussion.

There are a few main categories I want to talk about in this answer: legal, science, politics, and culture. For now, I'm going to avoid delving into any religious or metaphysical questions about what is and isn't considered "a person", since while those conversations are interesting, I don't think they're particularly useful in the context of discussions about abortion. As Harry Blackmun wrote in the court opinion for Roe v. Wade, "we need not resolve the difficult question of when life begins. When those trained in the respective disciplines of medicine, philosophy, and theology are unable to arrive at any consensus, the judiciary, at this point in the development of man's knowledge, is not in a position to speculate."

Legality

Starting with legal issues, there are a few points I think it's important to make in order to get a sense of how we relate to abortion. Abortions are legal in 98% of countries. 34% of countries, including the US, Canada, Australia, New Zealand most European countries, and China, allow abortions on the basis of a the pregnant person's request, without needing to prove that there is risk to life, risk to health, risk to the fetus, economic or social reasons that abortion is a necessity, or extenuating circumstances (such as the pregnancy being a product of rape or incest). The vast majority (93%) of countries with highly restrictive abortion laws, such as outlawing abortion except in cases where the pregnant person is endangered, are in developing regions. There are five countries that completely outlaw abortion. These are: Dominican Republic, El Salvador, Malta, Nicaragua, and the Vatican City, all countries where the Catholic church has significant influence.

Of the countries that do allow abortion, there is always a limit on how far into a pregnancy a person can be when they choose to terminate. Beyond that limit, the person doesn't have a choice anymore, and must carry the pregnancy to term (except in extenuating circumstances). The most common limit is 12 weeks (3 months), although some countries allow abortion up to the point of "viability", where the fetus can live outside the mother's womb with artificial aid. Typically, the point of viability is around 24 weeks (6 months). In the US, 87% of abortions are performed before 12 weeks, and 92.2% were performed at 13 weeks or fewer. For reference, pregnancies are typically around 40 weeks long.

Forced abortion is illegal in almost every country, including the US and the UK, and it is considered an act of violence against women. It is just as bad as forcing someone to give birth, which is why all countries do their best to prevent it from happening. While forced abortions can and do happen, particularly to victims of sex trafficking, I think the solution to this issue is to put policies into place that protect vulnerable women, instead of trying to ban abortion entirely.

Science

So, most countries allow abortions up to 12 weeks. What does that actually look like in terms of the fetus? Here's a timeline of fetal stages of growth:

Weeks 1-4: at this stage, the "baby" is actually an embryo. It starts out as just a fertilized egg. The amniotic sac forms around it, and the placenta develops. The eyes, mouth, lower jaw, and throat are in very early development. Blood cells are taking shape. By the end of week 4, the embryo is smaller than a grain of rice. It is very literally "just a clump of cells" at this point.

Weeks 5-9: the "baby" is still an embryo. Its facial features begin to develop, folds of skin that will eventually become ears grow, tiny buds that will eventually grow into arms and legs form, the neural tube, digestive tract, and sensory organs all begin to develop. Bone starts to replace cartilage. At about 6 weeks, a heart beat can be detected. After week 8, the baby is considered a fetus instead of an embryo, at which point the fetus is about one inch long.

Weeks 9-12: the fetus' arms, hands, fingers, feet, and toes are fully formed. It may be able to open and close its fists and mouth. Ears are formed, and its reproductive organs begin to develop. By the end of week 12, the fetus has all of their organs and limbs, and their circulatory and urinary systems are working, but everything needs to continue to develop in order to become functional. At the end of week 12, the fetus is about 4 inches long.

It is important to know that the miscarriage rate is highest in the first trimester (before week 12). Among women who know they're pregnant (typically further along than 6 or 7 weeks), 10-20% will miscarry. 30%-50% of all fertilized eggs miscarry.

Other important developmental markers include:

During month 4 (weeks 16-20), you can see the sex of the fetus.

During month 5 (weeks 20-24), the fetus starts moving around.

Between week 22 and week 24, brain waves appear in the cerebral cortex.

At week 24, the fetus may be able to survive if it is born prematurely, provided it has intensive care.

Somewhere between week 26 and week 30, the fetus may be able to feel pain, although we don't know that for sure.

A fetus is not capable of thinking, communicating, reasoning, self-motivation, feeling emotions, or consciousness. They don't have a concept of the self, and they don't know that they exist. They are essentially sedated for the entirety of the pregnancy. Since we use "brain death" as the primary criteria for death, it makes sense to me that we might consider "brain life" (the point where a fetus exhibits brain activity) as the point at which a fetus becomes a person.

While some people will refer to an embryo as a "baby" from the time they discover they're pregnant, scientifically, it is a clump of cells, whether that clump is allowed to continue to grow or not. It's not something we would recognize as a baby, or be able to interact with as if it were a baby. An embryo is a precursor to a baby, kind of like how a seed is a precursor to a plant.

Some other arguments

I want to quickly touch on some other arguments for abortion rights that people make. I'm not going to delve deeply into them, but it didn't feel right to leave them out entirely. These are arguments that don't depend on whether or not a fetus can be considered a person.

Bodily Rights

There are many situations in which we prioritize individual bodily rights over the right of someone else to live. For example, we don't force people to donate organs to people who are dying, even though a donated organ would save their life. Advocates for abortion rights argue that those same bodily rights should be extended to a pregnant person.

Deprivation

This argument usually looks something like, "but what if that fetus was going to cure cancer when it grew up!" Basically, it's saying that abortion is morally wrong because it deprives the fetus (and the world) of a valuable future. To me, this completely ignores the deprivation that already exists by forcing a person to carry and birth a baby they don't want, and potentially the deprivation that comes with raising that child. People who make this argument never seem to ask, "what if the pregnant person was going to cure cancer?"

Slippery Slope

Some people argue that normalizing and legalizing abortion may lead to people also accepting euthanasia. I am unconvinced by this for two reasons. 1. Slippery slope is a logical fallacy and 2. I absolutely do think we should legalize euthanasia for certain situations.

Religion

I don't want to dig too far into this one, but what I will say is that the US is a country that (at least nominally) has a separation of church and state, and the religious beliefs that other people hold should not infringe on a person's rights to make choices about their own life.

History and Politics

The practice of abortion itself is incredibly old. The Sanskrit epic Ramayana, which dates to the 7th century BCE, describes abortion being practiced by surgeons and barbers. In the Assyrian Code of Assura, circa 1075 BCE, a woman is allowed to procure an abortion except when it's against her husband's wishes. The first recorded evidence of induced abortion is from the Egyptian Ebers Papyrus in 1550 BCE. Japanese documents show records of induced abortion from as early as the 12th century, and it became more prevalent during the Edo period. It is considered to be unlikely that abortion was punished in Ancient Greece or ancient Rome. All major Jewish religious movements allow abortion in order to save the life or health of a pregnant woman, and often support abortion for other reasons as well. Christianity has a more complicated relationship to abortion, for reasons that I'll go into in a bit, but for now let's just note that there very much were ancient Christians who believed abortion was morally permissible at least some of the time. Before the 19th century CE, first-trimester abortion was widely practiced and was legal under common law throughout the English speaking world, including the US and UK.

The reason I bring all of this up is because the political debate over abortion isn't really that old, and the debate tends not to actually be about the morality of abortion as an act so much as it is a proxy for other issues. The first backlash against abortion in the English Speaking world was in the 19th century, and was a direct reaction to the women's rights movement, which was starting during that time. In the US, anti-abortion laws began to appear as early as the 1820s, but picked up in earnest by the late 1860s. These laws were introduced for many reasons, including the fact that abortions were being provided by untrained people who were not members of medical societies and concerns about the safety of abortifacients. By 1900, abortion was a felony in every US state, but they continued to become increasingly available. By the 1930s, licensed physicians performed an estimated 800,000 abortions a year.

Jumping forward a little bit, let's talk about the history of abortion in the US just before Roe v. Wade. It's estimated that in the 50s and 60s, between 200,000 to 1.2 million abortions were being performed per year, even though they were illegal. Throughout that same time, the second wave feminist movement was growing, and was increasingly advocating for birth control and liberalized abortion laws. As a reaction to second wave feminism, a number of anti-abortion organizations, primarily led by Catholic institutions, cropped up to mobilize against the legalization of abortion. It should be noted that, at the time, abortion was not an issue for evangelical Christian groups. In the 1960s, 17 states legalized abortion for a variety of different circumstances. Then in 1973, Roe v. Wade happens, ruling that a pregnant woman has the right to choose to have an abortion without excessive government restriction. The ruling was 7-2 in favor of legalizing abortion. Even after Roe v. Wade, Christian Evangelicals were neutral to positive on the ruling. It's only after 1980 that Evangelical Christians started to organize around abortion as a political issue and joined the Catholics to form what we now think of as the Christian Right. There's a lot to say about that and why that switch happened, but for the sake of brevity, just know that the evangelical backlash against legalized abortion in the US started not as a moral crusade, but as a way of convincing people to vote for Ronald Regan instead of Jimmy Carter (who wanted to de-segregate schools). No political debate happens in a vacuum, and it's important to understand what other factors might have been at play when looking at where these debates come from and how the sides formed.

Culture

Lastly, let's talk a little bit about the cultural impacts of banning or legalizing abortion. The right to have or not have a child is necessary in order for women to achieve equality with men. Countries with high gender equality, such as Iceland, Finland, Norway, New Zealand, and Sweden, also have easily accessible abortion options. Criminalization of abortion disproportionately impacts poor women and women of color, and does nothing to address the systemic issues that may cause them to require abortions in the first place.

Researchers from the WHO and University of Massachusetts found that banning abortion is an inefficient way to reduce abortion rates; in countries where abortions were restricted, the number of unintended pregnancies actually increased, and the proportion of unintended pregnancies ending in abortion also increased. When abortion is banned, women aren't not having abortions; they're having illegal abortions that are done unsafely.

There is also some evidence to suggest that legalized abortion actually decreases crime rates. 20 years after the legalization of abortion in the US, there was an unprecedented nationwide decline of the crime rate (including murders, incidentally). The drop in crime is thought by some to be a result of the fact that individuals who had a higher statistical probability of committing crimes (people who grew up as unwanted children in poverty) were not being born.

Which brings me to my next point- the majority of people who are "pro-life" (at least in the US) aren't really pro-life. They're pro-birth. If they were truly pro-life, they would be interested in making sure that all of those babies had their needs met after they're born. They would be interested in making sure those babies can lead long, healthy, safe, and productive lives. They would be for universal healthcare, expanded social safety nets, parental leave from jobs, universal basic income, raising the minimum wage, mandated vacation time, increasing funding for public schools, decriminalizing drugs, abolishing prisons or at least reforming the police. They would be against the death penalty (ironically, some of them are actually for the death penalty for women who have had abortions), and for increased access to birth control, comprehensive sex-ed in schools, increased gun legislation, against war and nuclear weapons, for enforced mask wearing to prevent people from needlessly dying from a global pandemic... but those issues don't factor into their "pro-life" stance. They're for "the baby gets born and then has to pull itself up by its bootstraps like the rest of us."

Closing Thoughts

Look. I'm not super jazzed about abortions. I understand how they can feel like an ethical issue. I think we should do what we can to reduce the number of abortions that are performed- teaching comprehensive sex-ed in schools, making birth control and emergency contraceptive options widely accessible, letting men know that reversible vasectomies are an option. I think we should make abortion easier to access, so those who do need it can make the decision early in the pregnancy. But I also think that it's a very personal decision, one that's irreversibly life altering, and the person who's going to experience the life altering event should be the one who decides what happens. 65 year old conservative, Christian white men who will never be pregnant (and frequently don't really know how the female body works) shouldn't get to make that decision for them. As someone for whom pregnancy would be life threatening, I want to know that I have options should that situation present itself someday.

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meat-pvppet · 2 years

Text

Random Hank Hyde Facts (that may or may not change in the future im not sure) TW for talk of death + animal death, intrusive thoughts(?), trauma(?), alcohol just to be safe

-Aroace. Maybe a tad bit sex-repulsed idk.

-Huge book nerd. Reads alot but mostly research papers cuz work. Prefers to read horror fiction tbh.

-Drives a dirt bike. Literally the only thing he knows how to drive.

-Draws those really vintage anatomy drawings for fun

-Has a bad habit of biting at his fingers/nails and picking at the scar tissue on his face.

-Hates hearing/watching/reading the news. It’s boring and just reminds him how much is happening around him.

-Eats instant food religiously. He knows how to cook (he learned how to cook when he was really young out of necessity), he just doesn’t have the time.

-Has a tarot reader friend who lives in his apartment block. They give him little magick trinkets and charms. He gives them crystals and graveyard dirt. Dont ask where he got it.

-Due to him being born during the times being married and having children at age 20 was a norm, he lied for a while that he had a wife but she left him and took the kid or something.

-Kinda anxious to have others give him physical touch. If you must, wear gloves or something. Or just keep it brief. Having people touch his bare skin makes him shudder.

-Despite this, he is usually the one to initiate any kind of touch...when he has gloves on. When he doesn’t, he usually just stuffs his hands in his pockets and keeps them to himself.

-Has this huge black Belgian Malinois named Rory. Rory was a fighting dog that Hank found and took in after disposing of the previous owners. Rory is now his apartment complexes full time guard dog and reminder to go on long morning runs walks.

-There’s alot of stray cats around his apartment. He leaves food bowls out for them, tries catching them to give them some medical attention, and makes sure there’s somewhere warm and dry they can stay at. Unfortunately can’t own any due to the fur that would get everywhere (he already deals with enough of that with Rory)

-Becomes somewhat violent when animal cruelty is involved.

-Was that one weird quiet kid when he was younger. Used to pick up all kinds of animals off the ground and show it to other kids because he thinks they’re cool and that the other kids would like them too. Turns out that picking up a feral cats that are all scrawny and battle scarred and showing it to people isnt the best plan for making friends.

-Was also the kind of kid who could make those wooden guns that actually shot stuff. Would teach other kids how to do it, but get really distressed once he saw that they were shooting at the local cow he personally named Benny.

-Often needs music to listen to when he’s alone. He can’t bare to be in a room by himself and sit in silence. He’ll start making himself paranoid that something is gonna be behind him, or he’ll start getting increasingly more anxious about nitty gritty details and “what ifs”

-Speaking of which, this also makes it very difficult for him to sleep. Usually needs to tire himself out somehow or just drink himself into a coma.

-Oh have i mentioned hes kinda an alcoholic and a smoker? Well not really. He’s not an addict on either, he just has a weird oral fixation. And alcohol just helps him relax when he has no other options available.

-For all that is good and just in the world, do NOT talk to him about mortality. Not good for the old man’s heart to remember that he’s most likely going to outlive the people and animals he has cared for.

-Due to having lived for up to 135+ years (and due to getting shot in the head once or twice and surviving due to haha healing factor), his memory is beginning to fail him, and he can’t quite remember what his parents were like to him or how he got his extensive knowledge of chemistry, medicine and human anatomy

-Actually kinda scared of dying. Gets antsy if he’s wounds heal particularly slowly or he actually begins to feel the cold of blood loss settles in. Can’t fathom the concept of himself just losing consciousness and never being able to atleast think.

#.txt #tf2 #tf2 oc #oc #fan oc #the brainrot is terminal #astronomically so #i need professional help #ALSO SORRY FOR LACK OF ART #I AM JUST #dies

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idealnreal · 4 years

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Please overanalyze the shadows in his palace I am begging you.

@appleyjuiceboy / jester owns my braincells of course i would do this for u

Okay so i think its best if i go about the order of shadows we meet in the game so. I’m not going to go into the persona/shadows in maruki’s palace. I’ll leave that for some other day. Now! Lets hope i can remain fully coherent.

1) The fluffy haired noodle shadow we meet for (ka)sumi’s awakening

First off, look at the design of this shadow--it has the fluffy hair parted to the right like maruki, its androgynous figure, and that swirly face mask as well! The mask has two eyes, and it even looks like theres a smile there, lopsided.

We have never seen any other palace shadow taking a similar shape as the palace ruler (except maybe the yaldaboath palace). Shadows are meant to emulate what the ruler thinks of as protectors of their heart. Maruki doesn’t trust anyone other than himself with this secret. And particularly at this phase of his distortion -- there are no scientists, to attendants, no patients. Just an empty, beautiful palace -- with possibly only one type of shadow and protector. The type that represents himself.

(Also androgynous/nb maruki confirmed ?? yes)

Okay then lets look at what this shadow says to Kasumi.

Shadow: ... Heresy. You dare to spurn our lord’s mercy. Accept yourself... Our lord laments the foolishness birthed from your pain.

Having the context that Kasumi is Sumire here ... Because this scene comes about because Kasumi sees a cognitive version of herself (Sumire) blaming herself -- and so, a part of her is probably trying to remember that she is Sumire. Thus ‘spurn(ing) our lord’s mercy’. And yeah accepting herself as Kasumi instead of trying to remember that she is Sumire.

But most important is the fact that Maruki’s palace shadows refer to him as a religious or god-like being (’our lord’s mercy’ calling back christian themes). Someone who is merciful and, most of all, does feel grief over one’s pain. Painting an ideal picture of a loving and caring god, ala abrahamic religions. This is a running theme with all the shadow’s dialogs. Let’s put a pin in this for now.

These design shadows are seen again later in the container room of the palace. They’re slightly faster. The container room is a strange one -- because it doesn’t quite fit in with the rest of the laboratory/hospital/garden of eden thing going on. While yes labs and hospitals do have storage areas, i cant imagine them being a container warehouse like this. I do headcanon that this is a storage area for the pain and suffering that Maruki has taken on from other people in order to heal them, due to his hyper empathy -- but i’ll analyse the room some other time. For now it’s interesting that the Maruki-like shadows are now relegated to this specific and really dark section of the palace.

Like the throne room/centre of eden that the Maruki boss fight takes place in -- He resigns himself to the darker gloomier parts of his palace. And the same goes for these shadows. This is where he belongs.

Also abso-fucking-lutely we’re going to talk about how this shadow transforms when it ambushes you:

Skin suit opening up to reveal fangs and rows of teeth, and a formless monster inside. Maruki ... dude ... are you okay? If these shadows are meant to emulate him -- is this how he sees himself sometimes? HHh boy...

2) First lab coat wearing shadow at the start of his palace investigation

Prior to this, while we understood that Maruki was a researcher, it was never a defining feature of him. Like the first thing that came to my mind on Maruki was that he was just the school counsellor and snack purveyor. Now this entire researcher, scientist, side of him is in full display. And this is the most common type of shadow we see, some which are violent, and others are non violent. Maruki sees scientists as the main residents of his palace -- his drive towards investigation and discovery, to puzzling out the intricacies of the human heart, human mind, and human pain. To better further his ability to heal. But there’s also a sort of cold, methodical nature to these scientists. Their ‘healing’ is methodical, based in science.

This coupled with the religious reverence and ideology that their dialog suggests, is a nice contrast. Experiments, data, research, are people’s salvation. Not the simple belief of a deity or of a higher purpose -- but science. Science, in many ways, becomes part and parcel of their religious belief.

Shadow: Those guises ... You aren’t among those who desire salvation. Leave. You are unwanted intruders. Do not disturb our lord’s research-- this world’s salvation. Why do you willingly strive for self-suffering? Why are you reaching out to your own pain?

So here -- the shadow wants them to leave the palace well enough alone. To leave Maruki to his research, and to allow this reality to exist. They don’t want this to end violently and it seems like they’re okay with the trio not ‘desiring salvation’. And when the trio refuse to leave, the shadow asks them why they want to suffer. It’s something inconceivable to them. Maybe even challenging their resolve-- to reconsider their current path, which will only lead to more pain. Also ‘salvation’, ding, on the christian theme counter. Deliverance from above from sin, even redemption. Not for one person, but for the whole world.

We see this type of shadow again before the scene in the auditorium.

Shadow: You are misguided. Do not search for pain. Only tragedy awaits you beyond here. [After defeating it] Such a fool, rejecting our lord’s mercy. In that case -- witness it for yourself.

Same themes. Delicious. Lets move on now shall we.

3) Hastur -- the shadow that appears with Maruki at his reveal as his second-in-command / bodyguard

I don’t think i’ve talked about how much i love the lopsided smiles on these masks. Because i love it. it’s just the right amount of unsettling and creepy. fUCk. And the twitching, twisting, and the weeping blue paint that Hastur’s shadow form does before transforming is /chefs kiss. I wanted more.

Anyway, onto Hastur’s design. Not a labcoat this time, just an ordinary looking white suit with no tie. This is the only time we see Maruki have a bodyguard shadow -- something else he relies on. Hastur’s presence in this scene only shows how deeply afraid and uncomfortable Maruki actually is with intruders in his palace. This experience is a reminder that someone had come into Rumi’s parents house to kill him years ago (a theory for another time). Like that incident years ago, he doesn’t resort to violence here -- he did and does try to negotiate. But when that didn’t work, at least now he has something that can fight for him.

( It is only in the second infiltration when we see Maruki actually take a more active role -- but I won’t get to that here. )

Hastur: Stubborn imbeciles, rejecting our lord ...

There is a running theme here, unfortunately. The shadows again cannot comprehend why anyone would choose to reject Maruki’s salvation, why anyone would choose suffering. And words like ‘foolish’ ‘misguided’ and finally ‘imbeciles’ here are all used to describe those who choose to reject it. While i do think Maruki only bends reality if the person wishes it (subconsciously or consciously), and does accept that there are people who won’t accept their wishes being granted and is aware of the reasons why-- He cannot fully understand or emphatise with it.

4) These deformed Maruki-like shadows guarding the control room

Jesus christ above, i don’t like these, because they contrast with all other designs as these are more brutish and deformed. There’s used as gatekeepers at certain points of the palace, in the first control room, and later on in the brain-pod-room (my brain cells are stopping to work now excuse me) before the garden puzzle portion, at his final will seed and the entrance to the garden of eden.

We know Maruki isn’t a brute strength kinda person. And yet we see these few who’s only purpose is to defend certain things and areas with force. Its uncharacteristic, but at the same time, given the things that these shadows are defending -- it makes sense. No cunning, no wit, no negotiation, no compassion -- just forcefully defending very important parts of his heart and his work.

Shadow (at the control room): So you dare defy His Excellency. You shall not interfere with our master’s work!

Shadow (brainwash room): Foolish rebels! You won’t take one step past here!

Shadow (entrance to garden of eden) : You?! I can’t believe you’ve made it so far ...

I had to do a double take on this. I think this is the only time this title ‘His Excellency’ has been used in the palace. While it is used for catholic bishops and that sort -- its mostly used in the context of heads of state, ambassadors-- more secular roles. The other times this shadow speaks is also similarly less reverent, less religious orientated. Of course this makes sense if the only function of these shadows is to use force to defend. They’re not the scientists or the first maruki-imitation shadows -- they’re not as devoted, and they dont have to be.

5) Finally, these limbless noodles

This one is found during the horticulture portion of the palace. I can’t exactly figure out why. And as far as i can tell, they only appear in this portion of the palace.

As far as the design goes -- these are probably the most unhuman like. Slender, androgynous with only a mask. I’ve got nothing. Braincells ran out. Sorry!

(Haha androgynous maruki go brr)

SO! That’s it. thanks for coming to my ted talk and following me down this rabbit hole. I need to go and drink some fuckin tea.

#(( jester being a real bro here #(( enabling me and my insanity #f: notes #c: the self #takuto maruki #(( slides this into the main tag #appleyjuiceboy #p5r spoilers

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mizufae · 3 years

Note

4, 9, 21, 30, 48, 68

SO MANY ASKS, MY BOREDOM RECEDES

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

ugh. I was the super smart but smelly kid, basically. I got placed in a GT core program in 4th grade (gifted and talented) and even there I was immediately shuffled to the second to last rung on the social ladder, I was the most normal one of the kids who ate erasers and were obviously autistic. Like also, I guess I was described as “an old soul” and “rude” because I used bad words. Before the GT program I was a bookworm and before that I was “extremely shy” but in 2nd grade I woke up one morning and was suddenly obnoxious. I suspect that my teachers didn’t know what the hell to do with me most of the time, but I always got really good grades despite refusing to do a lot of homework so it was kind of hard to crack my nut, I guess. One time in fifth grade I was called “tactless”.

9. favorite smell in the summer?

Honeysuckle on a warm clear night.

The town I moved to when I was seven years old has a big festival every year with craft booths and outdoor concerts and lots of food and carnival stuff and they have fireworks! It was within walking distance of our house, so every summer we’d walk there in the afternoon and spend a couple evenings there. This was how I saw Carbonleaf for free about a month before they made it really big! Anyway, here is the memory:

Walking home at night, sticky leather sandals on my feet. My friend met up with me while at the festival and she peels off to get to her neighborhood a few blocks along. My mom and dad are meandering about half a block ahead of me. I have a cracked glowstick around my neck, it’s a soft green and pink. The firework smoke has mostly cleared and the nearly full moon washes the dark streets with enough light to navigate without the flashlight my mom had tucked in her purse. The streets on this block don’t have sidewalks so we have to be careful, but everyone is walking home around this time so it’s not too dangerous. The breeze passes through and any lingering smoke is blown away, replaced with a floral waft. I don’t understand what it is until I bump into my parents who have stopped. My dad is picking at a bush that’s grown over a chainlink fence. “What are you doing?”

“Eating honeysuckle,” my dad responds. I make an incredulous noise. “You can eat it, see? You pick a flower, like this, without any leaves on the bottom, and then pinch off the bottom. The stamen will come through and pull the nectar down... Then you suck it like the bottom of an ice cream cone. It’s sweet. Here, try it.”

After I try one and mangle it, my dad prepares one for me. I’m surprised. I’d only eaten pansies before, and those tasted like mint and parsley had a baby, not sweet at all. “Can you eat the petals?”

“Yeah, but they don’t taste like anything. Here, you want more?”

“I can do it this time.”

“Okay, be careful though, don’t pick any too low down, dogs can pee on it.”

“Ew, Dad!”

At this point my mother chides us on back home, but I pulled off a big tendril to pick at the rest of the way.

21. obsession from childhood?

When I was little I was terrified of most things, but a big thing that really freaked me out was clowns and also people in mascot costumes. As an adult I have made some uh... progress on this (am I a furry? am I a clownfucker? I not NOT those things...) but anyway in an attempt to get me to maintain my chill if I accidentally found a clown or mascot at one of a million children friendly places where such characters appear without warning (the zoo, a baseball game, the mommy and daughter beauty pageant my mom idiotically signed us up for when I was like, three... every halloween ever... the library...) they rented this movie that was like, a behind the scenes clown circus documentary.

I have spent a solid 20 minutes trying to look it up just now and it is ungoogleable because of all the trendy murderous clown bullshit these days, thanks a lot stephen king, but anyway. My older brother had to watch it with me the first time but it was like... the clown showed how he went from just a guy through every step of putting on the makeup and costume, and some juggling stuff and some other tricks, and what makes a funny physical joke, and some other circus things... And then he took off the clown outfit and became a regular guy again. I WAS OBSESSED. Apparently, I requested we rent this movie from blockbuster EVERY TIME for MONTHS to the point where blockbuster offered to sell us the VHS. I still remained scared of clowns for years after this but it helped me out a lot and also it’s connected to my whole thing about practical effects. I also watched the jim hensons secrets of the muppets thing about twenty bajillion times, it all exists in the same space in my brain.

30. places that you find sacred?

Gazebos and thresholds, mostly. Also I once had a religious experience staring at a Van Gogh in the National Gallery of London. It was Wheatfield with Crows. I don’t think I saw god, because I dont particularly believe in god much, but I do feel like... some part of me cracked open and was able to connect with some part of a person who had painted it a hundred years ago. I only learned that it was possibly the last thing he ever painted like, a year later. I was in London visiting a friend who had moved there a year before, we were in our senior year of high school, I was 17 and applying to art schools at the time, so maybe it was just a thing about, like, the right time and mental space for it, but also... me and Vincent are like... yeah. This is what I hope I see when I die, etc.

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

I hope that I would be an apricot but that’s just cuz I really like them. Maybe I am a coconut, hairy on the outside and a hard nut to crack.

When I started to grow boobs, my mom told me a funny story about how in college she walked in on her roommate standing in front of the mirror in just her underwear, cupping her breasts. And when my mom was like “uh... what are you... doing?” her roommate was like “sigh... do you think I have oranges? Or are they more like tangerines... I wish I had grapefruits like you!” and from then on the citrus system of breast classification was set. Hippies, amirite?

Anyway my boobs kept growing and growing and growing. I am currently a K cup??? But anyway one day as a teenager I was in the grocery store and they had these fruits that were EVEN BIGGER than a grapefruit. They were pale green and smelled really nice! And when we sliced it open it had SO MUCH PITH, but the fruit inside was a pretty pink... It’s a pomelo! The precursor to grapefruits. My breasts are now bigger than even pomelos, but whenever I see them in the market I’m like “my boob fruit!”

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

I try my best to taste foods I’ve disliked over and over again throughout the years to get myself to become okay with them because I find the enjoyment of food to be vitally important to my willingness to continue existing. But one thing I will NEVER force myself to eat again is natto. I tried it about four different times, once the cheap conbini kind, once at an extremely swanky japanese hotel breakfast, one in a really nice sustainable sushi restaurant with my favorite fish mackerel, once from a friend’s fridge, and UGH, every time, I just wanna spit it back out immediately. Sorry, fam.

In terms of things that come in different flavors I think the grossest soda is the grapefuit favorito which is like drinking bubbly soap.

#tijuanabiblestudies

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vancilocs · 3 years

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Anything i dont know yet/you want to answer for dana and kendra?

i ate so much candy

1.What gender are they?

Male...ish. Somewhere between guy and demiguy

Cis gal

2. What is their age?

3. How tall are they?

214 cm

168 cm

7. What is their sexuality?

Bi goth boy with dangling earrings

8. Do they have a religion they follow?

Not particularly, he’s not religious

Nah

9. Any mental disorders?

Nah, he’s been pretty insecure in the past but he’s ok now

I dunno if it counts but she’s dyslexic

10. Neurodivergent or Neurotypical?

Typical

?? it’s a learning disorder but I dunno

12. What’s their hair color?

Naturally jet black but ombre’d pink

Very pretty dark brown

13. How was their childhood?

It was alright! Raised by a single mom who took (and still takes) good care of him. He did kinda stick out as a half-human so that had its difficulties but nothing that affected him too greatly, just left him wondering about that side of his family

It was good, her parents weren’t super well-off but they took very good care of her, taking in Willow too when her family situation got too bad. She got someone to play with so that was good

14. Do they have any siblings?

Younger half-sister on the mom’s side. His two siblings from his dad’s side have passed away not long ago

Willow is her cousin but she considers them a sibling

15. What species are they?

Half human, half jevan-tee

Human

16. What Pronouns do they go by?

He/they

She/her

17. Married, single, dating?

Dating, might get married later

Single, she’s more focused on making sure Willow is okay than looking for a date (also they live together so bringing in boys or girls is a no-no)

18. Any pets?

A cat

19. Are they hot and passionate or cold and logical?

He’s warm and logical. Very mild-mannered but always pleasant and polite

Passionate but rational, she can take control if needed but she’s not super fiery and loud

20. What are their hobbies?

Videogames mainly, dabbles in cooking

Excercise and videogames

21. What is their clothing style?

Very dramatic, gothic and gender-neutral, big fan of gloves, bracelets, skirts, chokers, fishnets, boots, chains etc.

Pretty casual, T-shirts, cargo pants, hoodies and jackets

22. Where are they from?

He was born at the Outer Rim, moved to whatever the Jevan-tee homeland is as a baby, later moved back to the Outer Rim.

Born and raised at the Outer Rim

23. What language do they speak?

Trade, Jevan-tee language

Trade

24. Can they kick ass or no?

Not really. Not physically and not verbally either

Easily, don’t try her

25. Favorite food?

Thai stir fry taught to him by his younger sibling who learned it from their dad. He’s vegan and likes anything with tofu tbh

Never says no to a good pizza

26. Favorite drink?

Water or lemonade

Milk

27. How long is their hair?

Slightly below his shoulders, would be longer if he straightened it

About mid-back

28. What color are their eyes?

Light pink, very cute

Very beautiful dark brown

29. Any physical Disabilities?

No, some back pain from doing desk work all day but he tries to keep it under control with stretches

Nope, she’s in great shape... for now. Just from looking at her coworkers she knows anything could happen

30. Are they weak or strong?

He’s not a twink but he’s not particularly strong. More of an endurance build

Pretty strong, she is kinda short but shouldn’t be underestimated. Agile, too

#i deleted some irrelevant questions #hogwarts houses and bender types aren't really important #long oc thing

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socksual-innuendos · 4 years

Text

OTP Meme

art by @yesjejunus

Do they fight often? If so, what is their dynamic like?

Sort of, they’ve actually calmed down since first knowing each other. It use to be that they hated each other because ‘fuck you, I want to leave this stupid ass valley why do I need to fetch quest when my survival is maxed’, and ‘goddamnit you made me care about this kid that youre dragging into war I cant live with myself if he dies due to your little game of exterminate the raider tribe’.

I...am indecisive about how Emilia ends Honest Hearts, but even in the worse case scenario they do become at most tolerant of each other. Still, their arguments is mostly Emi poking and prodding for a reaction, and Joshua feeding right into it. These usually end in him being moody, but he rebounds well enough. Their big arguments though are usually over how things should be handled, in which case both do their own shit and then one has to bail the other out.

Who is the most skeptical of the two?

Joshua, hands down. Emilia is so eccentric compared to anything he’s use to, he almost always has something to say about anything she brings up. Even if its sound to him he still questions it if it comes from her mouth. It isn’t always voiced, but the eyebrow does raise. He’s stopped being amazed at her actually accomplishing what she says she will and has started getting annoyed with it...what a show off.

Who would be most likely to suggest a night of dancing?

Emilia, and she’d dance whether he comes along or not. My Joshua never learned how to dance, but I don’t think its his cup of tea either. He hums while he works, though, and Emilia has honed in on that.

What would they do if the other was injured in battle?

Assess the situation and then adjust. I think both would cover each other, though I think Emi is more likely to haul his ass to safety. That’s her target, damnit! Unless one was really fucking up patching themselves up, I dont think the other would help with wound dressing though.

How do their fighting styles complement each other?

Complement is a very interesting word here. Their entire schtick is that Emilia is adaptive, dynamic, changing to fit the situation and he is....just headstrong and very determined, haha. They work well together in that she forms to fit his methods and is his fall back if things ever go south. It works out well, some of the time. Other times its Emilia stealing his kills and him getting angry at how fast her draw is.

Do they want children? Does it frighten them? How many do they want?

Together? No. He is particularly someone she would be cautious around. In their canon I don’t think they sleep together, just because Emilia has Thoughts about a man like that being on top of her, or at least having some kind of mindset about having slept with her.

Still, I think my Graham is old enough to realize that kids wouldn’t have fit well into his life, Legion existing or not. Both grew up with religious and family pressures to marry and have kids, and neither really felt that it was for them. I think my Graham tried to find a greater purpose than starting a family in Legion, and that was his justification for never trying.

What happened when they took them home to their families? If their families aren’t in the picture anymore, how do they feel about it?

Joshua learns about Emilia’s family and past in a round about sort of way. Camila introduced herself to him, which was a heart attack to Emilia, and he’s seen the photos she keeps in her cigarette case. In honesty, he feels a bit envious at how closely she was able to keep her sister. Though I don’t know how I headcanon his blood family situation, I do think that he misses kinship. After Edward, he becomes very lonely, and even reconnecting with New Canaan he feels lost. How does a man his age find another friend that close? It’s part of why he so easily falls in being war chief again in my canon. It’s familiar, and its something he knows he’s good at, and that in itself is its own comfort.

For Emilia, I think she envies his community. Though she was young when her life started falling apart she still knew what a stable home was, what a loving family was, and what it felt like to feel safe. She knows that even after all the tragedy he’s caused and how much misfortune fell on his tribe that he still has a home to go back to, and that they’d accept him with open arms. She misses being on the receiving end of that type of love, and most of all she hates being so closed off to people about herself. Even her sister she hides things from, and even then her sister doesn’t share her faith. I think if Joshua ever invited her meet his family she’d accept, even if she thought it would go poorly, just to feel things out and see if she could find some community in there.

How does each person show affection towards the other?

Again, its in the small things. When Emilia springs him from NCR custody, it was for entirely selfish, headhunting reasons, but she brought him bandages and his bible, and those were the small comforts that mattered. She’s hard on him in areas that no one else was, like teaching him genuine wilderness survival, or how to be independent. She also tries to get him to slow down and think about what he really cares about. Sure he gets his purpose from being war chief with the Dead Horses, but he truly does miss his tribe. These show themselves in small conversations, but if she didn’t care for him she wouldn’t even bring them up.

For him, its a bit of the same. He entertains her bullshit, but he also cleans and repairs her weapons. During their end game, Emilia has a robotic prosthetic leg, and he learns how to repair and upkeep it on the fly. He becomes receptive to her teaching (if only for a while), and to humble himself enough for that should speak volumes.

Who cries the most? Who is better at comforting?

Neither really cry, though I think Emilia at least doesn’t feel pressured to keep face around him. Sharing a religious background and a lot of similar-but-different viewpoints, they actually comfort each other well in a passive sort of way. If their problems don’t relate to each other, they can usually talk through their issues. For Emilia, it’s a huge comfort to have someone else religious to talk to. She doesn’t often get this with most people, and even if Joshua isn’t 100% on the same thought train, the core belief is still there.

For Joshua, it’s nice having someone who is also religious but doesn’t feel like he has to perform for them. Emilia isn’t here to judge him, they’ve both done and do horrible things in their life, and she’s just different enough that if she says something he doesn’t agree with he can dismiss it. Having someone he doesn’t have to keep face around is a breath of relief. Its nice to not have any expectations set on you, and although it annoys him a majority of the time, her laid back personality allows him to let his guard down.

When it comes down to it though, a lot of what Emilia has already lived through are things that are popping up in Joshua’s life now, and he often finds reassurance in that she’s found ways of coping, and that she is willing to talk with him when he needs it.

Who is the bigger flirt?

Emilia, no contest. Making passes at him is a pass time to her. If he didn’t have his face covered, she’d probably see just how hard she could make him blush.

#Emilia Vazquez #joshua graham

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ssnakebytes · 4 years

Text

I hope you’re ready for this long response because I’m so glad you asked. I’ve been itching to write about this boy and now you’ve given me an excuse to spill my thoughts. Sorry in advance for the volume of stuff I have to say.

Some general differences:

-TALL. I’m talkin’ Chahut-sized. Also, decently buff— not bodybuilder-level or anything, but definitely has some noticeable muscle. Could pick you up with one arm, no problem. (comparatively, my cerulean Mal headcanon is around 5’5” and about average build)

-Still has the same chill attitude as Mal, but a little faster to lose his cool when something bugs him.

-Even more flirty than normal Mal. It comes off as quite intimidating given his stature and his big ol’ teeth, though.

-Has a deeper, more gravelly voice than cerulean Mal.

-His long fang is gold.

-17 piercings total.

-His weapons of choice are spiked knuckle dusters.

-For the most part, really dislikes faygo– it ruins his mental clarity, which makes him anxious.

Some deeper ideas which I’ve written some analysis for:

-He has slightly stronger rebel beliefs than Cerulean Mal.

-Despite this, fears what would happen to trollkind if a rebellion were to rise up (mass extinction courtesy of the Condesce’s lusus)

-The combination of these things leaves him in a state of anxiety and indecision about the right thing to do. Doesn’t join the rebellion. Still rescues a lot of lower-blooded trolls from danger, though, and gets attached to them as soon as he starts getting to know them.

-Fiercely protective of his friends; not afraid to kill for them.

-Emotionally volatile; little things tend to cause big reactions in him (could really benefit from a moirail to give him a good shooshpap when he gets riled up)

I’ve written a bit of an essay explaining the thoughts behind these... It’s 3 AM and this is total stream of consciousness stuff so it’s not totally organized, but it’ll give you some insight to my thought process about his character if you’re interested in that kinda thing. Analysis under the cut!

I see him as different in a lot of ways, to be honest. When I do bloodswaps I really like to lean into their new caste and think about how growing up with those expectations and that culture would change the character. The differences in the culture of the purple caste are pretty drastic as compared to the others, so my purple Mallek is also pretty dissimilar from his cerulean self.

For one, he has a lot of pressure put upon him to do things he feels are unjust. As we know, Mallek doesn’t approve of the subjugation of lower blood castes. As a cerulean, he feels that he has neither the power or the energy to do anything about these injustices. It’s likely different as a purpleblood, though.

Interestingly, it’s implied here that chucklevoodoos may hold a certain power over all lowbloods– planting fears within their minds, amplifying their fears through dreams, etc. It’s unclear whether this is only “lowbloods” in a strict sense (typically those gold and under), or if it simply means “those lower than purples”. For my purposes, I’ll assume that they hold effects over all blood castes beneath purples.

If we assume this is true, it’s certainly possible that this chucklevoodoo influence is one of the things holding our beloved cerulean Mallek back from feeling that he has the power to change Alternia. Purple Mallek would be without this influence. Being in the purpleblood culture, he’s also forced to see a lot of violence firsthand that could more easily be avoided as a cerulean, probably giving him stronger beliefs in the injustice of the system. Considering these fact combined with the power that comes with being a purpleblood, I feel that he would grow up with stronger beliefs in rebellion.

However, there is a problem with this idea. While purplebloods are physically and psychically powerful as all hell, this leads them to be kept on a very tight leash by the seadwellers. In Marvus’ route (who, by the way, is the same dreamer+aspect combo as Mallek, assuming the sign we’ve seen associated with Marv is actually his sign. This may not be relevant, but it’s pretty interesting to think about…), he says, “…the only reason we dont ri$$$e up and rip the fins of their slimy lil faces iz an enternitys of religious persecution and culturally immutable precedent..” Though Marvus acknowledges these influences, it just clarifies the undeniable power over purplebloods that keeps them from rebelling against their controllers. Homestuck proper states that the Condesce controls the purplebloods with the threat of her lusus’ ability to exterminate millions.

It’s because of these two opposing ideas that I see purple Mallek as a very conflicted individual. He knows he has the physical and psychic strength which would give him leverage against the empire, but he is haunted by the thoughts that his resistance could invoke the wrath of the Condesce– which could end in her lusus invoking a mass killing. He knows that his ideas, trying to change Alternia for the better, could end up with mass death instead, and this keeps him from acting against the empire outright. He really feels the pressure the closer it comes to his departure from Alternia, though. Would rather do just about anything than become a subjuggulator— he can’t stomach the idea of killing on that scale.

He does, though, have his own ways of rebellion. These are pretty typical for him, going off what we’ve seen of his character so far– he does what he feels is right, helping out smaller and weaker trolls (invited Diemen to live with him, makes Tirona feel better about her strengths when she’s afraid her weakness and small stature could get her culled). He tends to rescue a lot of lowbloods from dangerous situations; though it’s mostly friends and friends of friends– it stresses him out to think about saving every lowblood possible.

His murderous impulses can come out when he is angry, but this is most frequently directed at perpetrators of injustice, and he avoids killing for the most part. I say for the most part, because I don’t see purple Mal as exceptionally emotionally stable. Cerulean Mallek already reacts very emotionally to what’s going on around him. Think about how enthusiastic and energetic he is when reader chooses to tell him they’re an advanced robot, versus how despondent he is when they choose to admit they were lying. Also, consider his sudden anger when he believes reader has led the drones to him (understandable, but still a dramatic shift from his previous demeanor). Cerulean Mallek never shows any intention towards hurting the reader, even when angry with them, but purplebloods have a tendency towards the… violent. My purple Mal’s emotions are made even more volatile because of his internal conflicts previously discussed. I think purple Mallek would have a great deal of control over murderous impulses, but it’s possible they could get the better of him if he’s particularly angry. I could picture him tearing apart someone who is about to hurt one of his friends, for sure.

Anyways, that’s all the analysis I have the energy for right now (and you’re probably sick of reading my wall of text) , but I might right some more about him later if I think of stuff to add! Feel free to request more information if you want; I like to write about him (in case you couldn’t tell…).

#mine #asks #anon #bloodswap #purple mallek #homestuck #hiveswap #hiveswap headcanons #homestuck headcanons #mallek adalov #mallek #long post #it's real infodump hours i guess #sorry anon lmao

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normal-thoughts-official · 5 years

Note

*breakdances softly* Thoughts on florist Magnus and tattoo artist Alec?

*waltzes aggressively* well i definitely do now

okay so like i am vaguely aware that you probably wanted me to actually create a story like i did for the other asks;

because listen, florist Magnus???????? i had never thought about it before, but that shit is THE BOMB

in indonesia, particularly Bali, flowers hold special significance both in the social and religious sense; they have meaning, they have history, and they have everyday uses and are a part of everyday life; people grow flowers at home, give them as gifts, have entire markets entirely dedicated to the trade of flowers. and yes, i know magnus is javanese, but this applies to pretty much all of Indonesia, including Java, and Jakarta has its own traditional flower market with flowers from all over the world and some of the sellers being in the business since the 60s, not to mention that many balinese ppl immigrated to Java and the two islands' histories are deeply connected. so nothing is even stopping me from believing that magnus' mom was a balinese migrant living in Java. which is exactly what im gonna do in this specific AU at least

So Magnus was actually born in Indonesia, where he lived for most of his childhood; until his mom suddenly died of a terrible disease and he was kind of thrown into living with his father, who, despite having him registered and being his legal guardian, had never so much as bothered to meet Magnus before this point

His father was also Indonesian but had long since moved to the US, so magnus' life was completely turned upside down. And despite providing financially for everything Magnus needed, asmodeus never really bothered with him beyond the basics; Magnus was pretty much self-raised

So for the whole time he lived with him, he ached with memories of his mom and his country. And what he remembered best about her was the flowers. The jasmines she used to grow at home, the unique smell they left on the water she used to wash his hair; the offerings of frangipani she would leave by their doorstep everyday, intricately sewn together and leaving the smell of both the flowers and the incense with them as they left to the ports; the flower boards she would give him on his birthday, different patterns every year, and somehow she would always find plywood and tahi cotok to make them the traditional way instead of the modern with styrofoam

Magnus refuses to let any of these traditions die; once he finally graduates and leaves his father's home (forever disappointing him in his refusal to take over his business) he dedicates almost all of the space in his home to a greenhouse where he can grow all of the indigenous indonesian flower species without worrying that they will die in the distinctly not-tropical climate of New York; he leaves offerings in his doorstep everyday, facing North for Vishnu, so as to bring harmony not only in his life but in his whole community as well. And he's a florist.

He knows both traditional indonesian flower meanings, and western flower language, and often mixes the two since the flowers in these cultures are so different. He makes bouquets, arrangements, and flower boards, keeping the tradition alive even when he's far away from home. This way he feels like he belongs, like he carries a piece of his mother with him everyday, and reminds himself that, even if he's been taken away from his home, it won't be taken away from him

It's pretty much only him in his shop, but his friend Dot also makes deliveries and helps him keep the shop running. He has a few regulars and all in all he lives a stable, happy life.

He meets Alec when he decides to make his first tattoo - a string of jasmines around his elbow, the national flowers of indonesia and also his mom's favorite. He chooses Alec both because of his mesmerising drawing style and his history of working and good recommendations from other dark-skinned people; his friend Catarina also tattooed at his shop, although with his sister, Izzy, who was the one who actually ran the shop

Alec is impressed by how well Magnus handles the pain; it's his very first tattoo and elbows are a bitch. Magnus doesn't tell him that after living with his father for so long he's used to the pain, but he does tell him about the meaning of the tattoo, the flowers, and his mom. He's surprised by how much he's saying to this guy he barely knows, but there's something about wanting to be distracted from the sting and having to be alone with this guy for who knows how many hours that keeps him talking. Alec listens to it quietly, focused on his work, and Magnus isn't even sure if he's actually listening, which kind of also works if he's being honest. Of course, Alec is; listening to Magnus talk is very nice, his voice is soothing and the way he talks about his mom and his passion for flowers is really touching, not to mention Magnus is just interesting; alluring, if you will. But he doesn't have much to add, so he listens

A few days later, Alec shows up at Magnus' shop, all private smiles and wandering eyes, and asks him for help with a birthday present for Izzy. He wants to make her something special, to thank her for her support when he came out and just support in general. It surprises Magnus, but Alec says that Izzy has always liked flowers and from the way Magnus was talking about it the other day, well, he seemed like a good person to help him with this present. He really wanted something to convey his gratitude

Magnus is pleasantly surprised that Alec remembers so much of what he said; even more so when he's careful not to step on Magnus' canang sari at the doorstep, with the incense still burning; and he's absolutely delighted when Alec says he wants Magnus to help him make an arrangement, not just make himself, and that he's willing to pay extra for his consulting (Magnus has never charged extra for consulting, because he really downplays his talent and work and loves sharing his knowledge; but it does feel nice to be valued and have his work acknowledged). So Magnus runs all of his ideas by him, shows him the flowers, and Alec carefully handles and smells them and listens to Magnus' suggestions and slowly makes his own based on what Magnus has been saying. Alec shows respect to the flowers and it's cute to see this big, buffy guy covered in weird tattoos and wearing a leather jacket going around and carefully handling the flowers Magnus grows.

Alec, on the other hand, is just fascinated by everything Magnus says and shows him, and his burning passion for what he does, and how clearly he likes to help people even if it means downplaying his own work

Wow this is actually starting to resemble a plot??? I'm shook

Anyway it takes them a long while to figure out what they want to do, and Alec actually ends up deciding on making izzy a flower board once Magnus mentions them offhandedly. Once Magnus assures him it's not offensive if he makes them with the proper care and respect for its meaning, they settle on working on that.

Listen I need excuses for them to interact okay. Also the idea of Magnus teaching Alec how to sew flowers???? Beautiful

Cue some gay shit, at least once Alec puts a flower behind Magnus' ear and tells him that it suits him, more often than not they find themselves having a lot of fun - Magnus teases him mercilessly over how bad at sewing he is, and Alec is deeply offended (except not really)

Once he even tries to challenge Magnus at doing something from Alec's element and see how well he does, only to be sent into the deepest despair when it turns out magnus is excellent at drawing

Magnus thinks he hears a muttered "of course" but he cant be too sure

Anyway they fall in love

Alec asks him out by making him a bouquet of magnus' favorite flowers, plus flowers that symbolize everything he loves the most about him (his uniqueness, his kindness, his fierceness, his determination in doing what he thinks is right, the joy he brings for everyone around him, his dedication to others, etc). Magnus all but swoons he is very charmed

They get married idk it always ends with them getting married when i have a say in it. Bonus points they get to be showered in flowers like in traditional indonesian weddings, which sends a very happy, very giggly magnus with petals still on his hair into absolute delight. Alec carries him bridal style to the bed and carefully takes the flowers off his hair and kisses him tenderly on their honeymoon and gggggggggggggggg.

Im gay and cant do this anymore im gonna get into a coma

Also, I will take this opportunity to just let it be known that y'all should feel absolutely free to take any and all of my posts as writing prompts; you dont need to ask for my permission to use the ideas, theres no way ill actually do them all and even if i do i dont mind that there are different versions of it going around; hell, i think that's amazing and exactly what fandom is for. Just link the post and if possible send me the fic because i'd be delighted to read it! What I'm trying to say here is, someone should write this

Also, I'm not hindu, so if any terms I've used are offensive or incorrect please let me know and I'll change it accordingly

#ask #cap-mars #sh #shadowhunters #magnus bane #alec lightwood #malec #malec fic #malec au #fic #overflowing trashcan #long post #florist au

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foxglovesound · 4 years

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🐾, 🌲, 🛠️, 💡, 🌠(instead of whether they are religious or not, how they act and familiarize on their religion, if that makes sense?) for hornetflower, goldenscale, acornbee, lightingface

FIRST OF ALL I’D LIKE TO GIVE A GREAT BIG APOLOGY FOR HOW LONG IT TOOK ME TO ANSWER THIS QUESTION i wanted to put a lot of thought into my responses (despite how. unprofessionally i wrote them thats just bc i type lazy KFHDSFDDSF) so i took a day or two to mull over as well as comic pages were DRAGGING ON LATE this week q___q !!!! thank u for ur patience AND the interesting questions this was fun >:3c!!!!

🐾: Do they have any future goals?

HORNETFLOWER: Well, honestly?? I’d have to say no. hornetflower isnt a particularly ambitious molly, and she tends to just focus on her current, short-term duties and what she needs to get done. at the moment her main goal is to guide sootpaw to her warrior graduation and to help raise duckkit -- and see duckkit reach her own graduation, of course. however, being minkclaws most trusted confidant, hornetflower kinda makes whatever minkclaws goals are her own goals too -- shell support her friend through thick and thin

GOLDENSCALE: again not really! she doesnt really have any particular ambitions in life, nor is she training an apprentice that she needs to see make it to graduation. part of her does hope that one day she and gorsefang can reconnect, but the rift between them is wide and goldenscale has stopped her attempts at reconnecting with gorsefang after her sibling’s initial resistance. beyond that? not a very ambitious warrior either! her daily goals are probably just getting the word of whats the next hot gossip (u can usually find her sharing tongues and chattering with her fellow clanmates to get those little details hehe)

ACORNBEE: she wants to become the top warrior of riverclan, pretty much! acornbee dedicates her life to upholding clan tradition and code, and her dream is to just become the most admired warrior in riverclan, one that the leader (snowstar….obviously) can trust with her nine lives (supposedly). however, acornbee takes the code a little too seriously -- anything that the leader could ever ask of her, she’d do without a second thought.

LIGHTNINGFACE: lightningface’s main goal in life has become more focused on their career as now they and eveningscale are the senior caretakers and technically like the head ranks of the caretakers. they’ve also got a little bit of a surprise coming on later during the comic ;) and their main goal will be making sure that little group stays safe and is raised happily.

🌲: What’s their favorite hunting spot?

HORNETFLOWER: probably by the rivers and streams! she enjoys either physically being in the water or amongst the stones overseeing the water flowing by, and she and minkclaw often goofed off together as youngsters around streams and rivers, so she has a particular affinity for hunting in those spots !

GOLDENSCALE: as her name suggests, goldenscale is especially skilled at fishing!! so her favorite hunting spots around the territory would naturally be the streams and river running through their territory as thats where she’s at her prime B)!!!

ACORNBEE: i dont believe she’d have a very specific hunting spot in riverclan, though i’d imagine she enjoys hunting around areas where there’s more shrubbery she can crouch behind and sneak up on her prey !!!

LIGHTNINGFACE: lightningface prefers hunting in the open parts of riverclan territory, where the trees thin out, or near the windclan border! they have a windclan-cat like build, and prefer chasing down prey out in open areas, rather than dodging around trees and shrubbery.

🛠️: How do they best contribute to their clan?

HORNETFLOWER: hornetflower is a very kind, and nurturing, member of riverclan. besides the typical warrior-duty stuff, such as patrols and hunting, hornetflower also helps out a great deal around camp - she makes sure apprentices are staying safe and out of trouble, and often drops by the nursery to interact with the caretakers and kittens there. BASICALLY she’s a very warm molly and a role model to some, so she best contributes to her clan besides her warrior duties by offering advice and guidance for youngsters and even others her age :3!

GOLDENSCALE: as mentioned before she’s EXCEPTIONAL at hunting fish and streams, so she contributes the best to riverclan by stocking the fresh-kill pile with plenty of fish she can catch, as well as giving tips and advice to apprentices and growing cats on how to more efficiently hunt fish in the river and streams!!

ACORNBEE: as a very obedient, task-orientated molly, acornbee best contributes to her clan in the smaller ways - she does what she’s told, when she’s told, and she does it thoroughly and properly. she makes sure she gets her tasks for the day done before any free time, and takes her responsibilities very seriously - she also works on the dens and camp setting a lot, making sure everything is secure and, if anything needs patched, she’s the first one reporting to the opening to patch it up! she’s just a busy little bee around riverclan pretty much hehe!

LIGHTNINGFACE: they’re one of the senior caretakers, alongside eveningscale, so they contribute to the clan most by taking charge of the nursery. they make sure caretakers are in order, especially apprentices, and make sure everyone’s staying safe and happy. one of the more important duties they have is keeping a note on kitten personalities and traits, because the senior caretakers often sit down with the leader before a group of kits is to be apprentices and give the leader their input on who should mentor which kit, and what career choices the kits have decided on. of course, the mentor-and-apprentice pair ups are the leaders final choice, but they usually do take the senior caretakers recommendations, and they of course make sure not to pair up a kit interested in becoming a caretaker with a warrior mentor or vice versa!

💡: Give a random fact about them?

HORNETFLOWER: hornetflower is the revamp of an old rp oc named Hopwhisker! I kinda miss the hop- prefix a lot honestly…. Anyways! she had 6 toes and was a scottish fold, both of which kinda got revamped to just big paws and floppy ears, but

GOLDENSCALE: originally she was part of the main group with lampreyface, hornetflower, minkclaw, blackcloud (before cootwhisker got in the way) and marigoldface! they were, conceptually, a very tight-knit friend group, but i ended up making lampreyface older than that generation and the group itself was feeling a little crowded so i broke it up a little. while they are all still friends they’re not like The Group as originally planned sdfhsdf!

ACORNBEE: she is the second ever cat i used the -bee prefix on :D!

LIGHTNINGFACE: there’s a rumor in windclan that went around shortly after rosepaw’s apprentice ceremony/first apprentice gathering that lightningface was actually rosepaw’s sire - although there’s no real validity to that claim. lightningface just happens to look a lot like their nephew.

🌠: Are they religious?

HORNETFLOWER: hornetflower isn’t devoutly religious in how she acts, so she doesn’t really pray daily or send her thoughts to starclan daily, but she will head down to the river (a common spot for most riverclan cats to stop by and pray without heading all the way up to starclan’s ledge, should they feel the need to pray for something) and pray for her friends or family if someone she knows is in danger, or battling an illness, or going out on a particularly dangerous job/duty/task. if a clanmate or someone she knows from a different clan has passed away too, she’ll sit down and send a silent prayer up to starclan, asking for her ancestor’s to welcome the aforementioned cat into their ranks securely.

GOLDENSCALE: besides just….believing in starclan, goldenscale doesn’t really do anything or behave in any particularly religious manners. she never really prays unless she feels it’s desperately, desperately needed, and you could probably count the amount of times shes prayed on one of ur hands. her religious behavior/familiarity extends to just simply knowing that there’s a place after death.

ACORNBEE: acornbee, on the other hand, is very attentive in her religious behavior. she typically takes a moment to thank starclan for a catch once she hunts prey down, and prays before she sits down to eat, typically again just a little thank you to starclan for blessing her with a meal. shes not shy when it comes to prayers for starclan, and often thinks to them for advice - however, in her eyes, the closest a living cat can get to communing with starclan outside of starclan’s ledge is the leader: the leader, in acornbees eyes, has direct path with starclan, and whatever the leader orders, it must be a will of starclan. it can be an unfortunate vulnerable way of thinking.

LIGHTNINGFACE: the most notable behavior they do when it comes to religion is the fact they will send a prayer up to starclan before every birth - its usually just a quiet, quick “let this cat and their kits make it through the birth” in their head before they settle down to help the cat in labor deliver kits, alongside eveningscale. they also tell kittens and apprentices lore and mythology, as well as about starclan, so that could also be a way that u can see how they act in according to their religion!!

#worldbuilding #lore #just bc i added extra like cultural stuff abt caretaker ranks n what not in some of lightnings answers

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