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fishing-lesbian-catgirl · 4 months

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genuine question: how can we use this website to be less annoying to others?

Glad to give my thoughts. Like I said, I’m very petty and most of this stuff probably isn’t as big a deal to most people. Anyway I’m bad at being brief so I added a readmore. Here are my personal rules:

1: Don’t add anything to the body of a post unless you have something that you really feel will add some degree of value, meaning, humor, context, or at least something to people further down the reblog chain.

This is the most important rule. Adding something to a post makes it longer, it makes it so everyone who reblogs it in the chain after you has to see it. If you have nothing to add but “wow” or “holy shit” you are lengthening the post for no reason. Those reactions can easily go in the tags.

This is also the reason I think gimmick blogs are so annoying. It’s one thing for a “heritage post” blog to reblog things related to its respective gimmick. Simply reblogging them puts that thing on their blog, so anyone looking at it or following them because they want to see “heritage posts” will see it. But they go a step further and add “X heritage post” for no real reason other than to brand the post as theirs.

When I see a post that I like that has useless additions that take up space while adding nothing I get mildly annoyed and go to the reblog of the person who reblogged it before they did just to trim the useless comments off. But if that person deactivated then I can’t trim the comment. Tumblr lets you trim to the original post without any of the additions regardless of if op is deactivated or not with the little X on the reblog menu, but only to the original post. It’s better than nothing though

This whole point is, to me, a bit of tumblr etiquette that makes it so you don’t have to see unrelated comments from someone you don’t follow just because they thought to add a pointless comment way up the chain. This definitely is petty, but if you remember how the old tumblr formatting worked, this was extremely important because each addition took up even more screen space with the line to the next persons url and squished the original post into smaller and smaller spaces. So that’s probably why I feel so strongly about it even though it doesn’t matter as much anymore.

2: The tags are mostly your free space to say what you want, BUT try and respect that OP will likely see them.

A LOT of communication done on this website is done through talking in the tags. That’s not what they were originally meant for but that doesn’t matter anymore. People will likely be looking in their notes to see tags by their mutuals.

The original poster can and will see every tag on a post, unless they delete the post or mute notifications. Mute notifications seems like it doesn’t work, but that’s because it only mutes future notifications on the post, the tags in your notes before muting will still be there regardless

This is to say that in most situations, if the op is someone like me who uses their notes to communicate with their mutuals and others in their communities, your irrelevant tags might also be there and annoy them. So use courtesy when tagging. Thankfully tumblr cuts off tags after a certain point on the notes page but still keep it in mind. I go overboard writing mini essays in the tags all the time, and while I do think that is a little annoying I do it anyway so I can’t blame people.

3: Keep blorbo tagging to a minimum if you can help it.

This is probably my most controversial stance, but blorbo tagging can be really annoying in certain circumstances.

The biggest offender to me are tagging make characters on posts about women. I don’t care that you think he’s your babygirl or whatever, I find this extremely annoying. I get it, sometimes a post fits your character really closely but the gender is wrong, but usually it doesn’t and they’re just doing this on any post even slightly related to a single aspect of a male character they care about. Often because most tumblr fandom people couldn’t be bothered to care about female characters if that was the only way to escape a saw trap alive.

There are other blorbo tag type things that annoy me, and again I’m a petty bitch, so take it with a grain of salt. But to me this one is a little personal (for lack of a better word). One of my first big posts on this blog was about wizard girls leaning in to kiss and having the brims of their hats get in the way. I didn’t mind the blorbo tagging about men that much, but they got less and less related to the post that it was annoying. The last straw before I deleted the post (back when I didn’t realize mute notifications actually worked. It might not have at the time) was a tag about their male blorbos leaning in to kiss and their belt buckles got in the way???

Idk I just find blorbo tagging in general mildly annoying and only do it when the post is an extremely perfect fit for on the characters I care about. I often block people for blorbo tagging about characters from things I dislike, I’m petty and the block button is fun for me to press, so I do that often. :)

4: NOT EVERY POST IS ABOUT YOU!!!

If you see a post that isn’t about you or your demographics or gender or whatever, you really don’t need to make it about you. That will very likely annoy op, especially because no one would have anything against you if you went and wrote your own post inspired by whatever the post in question said.

Not every post about lesbians needs to be made about gay men. Not every post about trans women needs to be made about trans men. Not every post about women needs to be made about men. And probably most important:

Not every post needs to be made about white people!

I know you might be thinking how writing something in the tags about your experience as a white person relating to what op is talking about, but I promise you they don’t want to hear it from us. They almost certainly are seeing tags from other white people because for some reason we can’t seem to see someone posting about issues of racism without having either the “I’m sorry for being white” or “white devils advocate” voices appear in our heads, just ignore it. Bite your tongue and reblog or move on for the love of god stop pestering the op.

Obviously the lesbian, trans women, and women ones are the ones I see in my notes that are annoying. But I can’t pretend I haven’t seen other white people say some really unnecessary shit in the tags / haven’t seen posts by nonwhite people who are clearly annoyed about how we always make everything about us.

Remember, you can always write your own post!

5: OP didn’t “turn off replies”

This feels like something that wouldn’t happen that often, but multiple times when I’ve made even mildly controversial takes about like video games or whatever, people will either add in a reblog or send me an ask complaining that I “turned off replies because I was afraid of hearing them disagree” usually followed by them calling me a coward. It’s very simple, I have reply settings so that people I follow and people who have followed me for at least like a week can reply, that’s it. I don’t have replies from everyone on because most people outside of those categories I don’t care about their opinions and they are annoying. If you can’t reply, that’s probably why. And if they actually did turn off replies, that’s because they don’t want replies, especially from people like the ones I just described.

6: I actually don’t have a problem with spam reblogging

This might seem backwards given my other stances on things taking up unnecessary space like useless comments, but I really don’t mind spam reblogs. I frequently do it when I see art I really like or when there’s a post that really resonates with me. Yes, it is annoying! No, I probably won’t stop. I do it so I can’t judge other people who do too. I am trying to keep it to like 5 times at most though, any more is just overkill.

7: OP is a stranger, not your friend

This one applies basically everywhere on the internet, but unless the person who made the post is someone who is like a mutual or someone that’s you’ve interacted with a lot before, they’re probably a stranger. Don’t try to be “playfully rude” or overly familiar. It’s annoying and weird and you will get blocked.

8: If you’re sending an anonymous ask, remember that OP is not going to take you in good faith most of the time

A lot of anon asks aren’t meant to be malicious, but a lot of others are. Bait, hate mail, insults, you name it, there’s a very good reason people like me assume every anon is sent in bad faith for some purpose. If you are going to send an anon ask, try to make it clear that you genuinely just want to ask a question and that you aren’t trying to trick op into saying something you can use to write a callout post against her or whatever.

You did that in this very ask thing and that’s why I’m writing out this long post instead of deleting it or letting it rot in the inbox.

9: Prev Tags etiquette / “Peer Reviewed” Tags

The usage of “prev tags” is controversial, a lot of people have different opinions on it. But with all the changes they made last year that made it harder to see the tags of the person before the person who’s reblog you are viewing, I think prev tags etiquette has changed.

My personal rules for prev tags are to copy the tags into my own tags, and then follow them up with a tag that says “<- prev tags”. Unfortunately tumblr tags convert dashes into spaces for some reason so it ends up looking like “< prev tags”. I’m stubborn and don’t want to like use an emoji arrow though. Anyway, tumblr mobile conveniently allows you to copy the tags of the person you are reblogging from surprisingly easily which I appreciate.

Unlike previous tags, which stay in the tags and don’t turn into an addition to the post, “peer reviewed” tags as they are sometimes called do get added to the post permanently for the remaining blog chain.

The unfortunate truth about this website is that some people have bad opinions on what qualifies as being meaningful enough to be cemented as an addition to the post via “peer review”. As such, the phrase “how could you leave this in the tags 🤣” has essentially become another “you sir have won the internet 🤣”

The shitty part about that is sometimes there are good and meaningful additions in the tags that are worth being added to the post as a whole. But you can add someone’s tags to a post without saying “how could you leave this in the tags”. Anyway this one is more subjective and hard to define so I hope I got my point across at least somewhat.

Anyway, there are probably a few other rules I personally follow that I’m not thinking about right now, but just follow general internet etiquette and try to keep in mind that op is a person who will likely read whatever you type, that covers most things tbh! Thanks for reading if you somehow read this far. Hope this helped! If it didn’t, oh well, I did try and warn you I’m petty and have strong opinions about things that usually don’t matter afterall

#Cordelia’s rules for blogging #anon ask #long post #long post.#we don’t stil need to add the . to make it not get filtered do we?

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titabboy · 5 months

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I had a pretty active tumblr for about ten years. I don’t know if you remember deejul (daydream) but that was me. I wasn’t an indie darling by any means, but it was certainly the most visible and most connected I’ve ever been. It was a golden age, the first time I really embraced algorithms for a curated social media experience. A truly striking collective moment for us all to explore what authenticity could mean in an increasingly hyper-accessible, hyper-meta, social structure. And I had my tumblr for the last half of my adolescence, the first part of my twenties; it was my diary, my personal library of memories, my second life and a source of some of my deepest connections. I mentioned tumblr in an application for a film program! I got in! And I watched all the movies I saw on my dashboard! I met and got to know some of the most interesting, kindest people all over the world. A friend who I met a long time after my tumblr days and I found out that we shared mutuals! Our favorite ones, even. I documented so much of the thoughts and feelings I couldn’t readily share in-person: I was a true testament to developmental angst, crises of faith, and the growing gap between who I was and who I could be. I, like you, often felt like I was the first person to feel the feelings I was feeling and those feelings felt totally alien until I found out other people who liked the stuff I liked and felt the stuff I felt and even did the stuff I did! and in that way I learned what vulnerability can be in-person, in-the-moment, without my dependency on drafting, editing, revising what I wanted to say. I found some of my favorite music, art, literature, people, that way. I felt comfortable in my stream-of-consciousness and didn’t feel as daunted by the obsessive, intrusive, insane, inexplicable thoughts as I do now.

And then I deleted almost every trace of it.

It’s normal to look back and be embarrassed about who you used to be, normal to look fondly back on your younger self and cringe about them because they didn’t know better and it’s not like you know better now! But I couldn’t really see past the pain of it all. At the time I deleted that tumblr, I was diagnosed with complex-PTSD (and a few other things) and I really, really, really, did not like that! I was trying to make the world my oyster, sow wild oats, sing a lot of karaoke at my favorite dive bar, do a lot of drugs and have a lot of sex and do a lot of things that I knew would be great stories to tell later! I didn’t want to look at myself! No one wants to see all that! To be “seen” in that way was terrifying and mortifying and so I decided that I wouldn’t be seen at all. My mind was so clouded and foggy with the revelation of persistent trauma and grief that I couldn’t bear to sift through all that mud to find the green, living, growing things that were actually deeply rooted therein.

I packed up all this stuff and stored it away in the far corners of my body, and I tried to “start from scratch,” knowing fully well that even if everything was different I would always be me, and everything that was me would be there in the shadows, traces of the most formative pieces of myself just on the other of the sheet I covered them with. Dusty old memories, a friend recently said.

I hated people dwelled on the past. I was trying to get over mine, so why even bother? I refused to peak in high school or college, I told myself it would get better and bigger than all of this and I was, and have been, quick to let go of things that go stale. I thought that shit was holding me back and I was determined not to let it. I didn’t need to “know the origins” of my pain in order to heal from it. My therapists would tell me that I don’t need to intellectualize or overanalyze my feelings. So I just said my piece and the rest was none of my business because I am determined to move forward. I’m trying to look where I am driving: ahead. Far far ahead.

I moved. I got in a car crash. I had a string of bad boyfriends, a faith crisis, I got kicked out of my house and estranged from my family, I got fired from my first big corporate job. I was unemployed. We had another evil president and a pandemic and we kept running out of time to reverse and repair the damage we have done to the planet, to each other.

I got a dog. I figured out what to do when I was by myself. I fell in love. I did a lot of mushrooms. I tried to go to bed by 9, and I took my medicine and my supplements and my probiotics and I made overnight oats. I got tattoos and piercings! I had a career and I helped important people do important things. NOW I am in LOVE. NOW I am SAFE.

But I didn’t want to share any of that with any of you. These precious precious things. I was too afraid to let them slip from my fingers. All this time I hold my breath, waiting for the rug to be pulled from under me, for the other shoe to drop. I walk into a room and force myself to have an exit plan in under 3 minutes of being there. I keep all the things I want at arm’s length, because if it’s out of reach I cannot drop it, it will not shatter.

And then, today I decided that I cannot continue on without fully embracing and absorbing compassion for myself. It’s been a decision long in the making, and I’ve tried it before and it was too scary and I’ve walked myself all the way back numerous times— but if there is a way to be better, and I have the capacity for it, why not?

I’m going to therapy and I’m reading books and I’m holding firm boundaries and I’m surrendering and I’m sleeping and I have health insurance and I have all these MEMORIES of what it is like to be loved and to love unconditionally.

I found my old journals. I may have deleted my Tumblr but I hoarded 15 years worth of paper and ink. I didn’t always know why I did this. I don’t have many physical memorabilia from before I was 15, I don’t know where any of it is.

My siblings and cousins would steal my diaries when I was a kid and make fun of me for all the crushes and angst I poured in there. What does a 10 year old have to be angry about? They would say “why did you write it if you didn’t want anyone to read it?”

I realize now that my audience was supposed to be me. I had so many stories and I never really let myself listen to any of them. I’ve always struggled with first drafts, and well, this is the only draft we get isn’t it? I spent all day today reading and crying and being curious and remembering and forgiving and worshipping and loving and losing and grieving and hoping and hating, even. I finally let myself look back at myself with the compassion I wish I had back then.

I thought I wanted to disappear, I thought I would have been better as a memory, I thought of myself as a background actor, an extra. I was grateful to be part of the scenery but even my innate Leo nature wouldn’t let me in my own spotlight for too long. I was tired of being seen and driven mad by the reality that I couldn’t see what other people saw— well, I couldn’t see the good bits back then, I only saw these awful faults within me whether they were real or not. I wanted to disappear, I wanted to be the right person in the right place at the right time, I wanted to be the antagonist in someone’s story, I wanted to be a tragic love interest. One of my professors used to say that romance & tragedy look pretty much the same until the end of the script and I fell a little bit in love with him.

But this isn’t TV. It’s not Fleabag. It’s not primetime or prestige and there are no awards shows. And I’m no tragedy, and this isn’t the end. I’m not a main character and I don’t wish to be. I am behind-the-scenes. I am writing, I am sketching, I am stumbling, I am surrendering. And I am ready to let other people have a look behind the curtain.

I am reopening my diaries and I am sharing them with you because healing doesn’t happen in the dark. Because self-compassion can’t be what it is without collective compassion. I am reopening these entries, not to rewrite or revise them, but to look at them with kindness, courage, compassion. And there are things that I can’t see, perspectives I cannot appreciate without other people. I have let a lot of my relationships shrink and fade and disappear and I regret that. I know you’re not supposed to regret things but I do and I’m sorry I tried to keep myself away from you this way for so long. I need you. I needed me for a long time, and now I know I can’t have all of me without you. I promise I won’t try to get rid of it all this time.

#artists on tumblr #writers on tumblr #writing #diary #journal #archive #self love #self care #cptsd #sketchbook #doodle #poetry #nostalgia #im back #ink drawing #spilled ink #indie sleaze #Spotify

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jimines · 3 years

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Whats actually happened between you and taemaknae? I read about it on the tea blog and still confused

This is an insanely long story so I'm going to put it below the cut so for anyone interested in this absolute shit show, continue on.

Essentially, I posted these headers about a month ago:

It was a set of like 8 colours and it was the first time I had ever posted any headers or anything. The issue nic had with these, was the ripped paper bottom. Because apparently you can trademark that. I had asked a (now ex) “friend” of mine if she knew where I could find the ripped paper effect because I had seen the effect on the header of her network blog and I had been trying to find a similar thing for months and google images never gave me anything good. She ended up referring me to google images anyways and after like an hour of dedicated searching, I found this ripped paper effect and used it. This ex “friend” went on to tell another friend of mine that I had "asked where nicole gets her resources for her headers" and then screenshotted my dm as "proof", which still confuses me because I never mentioned nicole there lmao. I've seen the screenshot.

Tell me where I said nicole. It was literally just a question born from seeing the header they had on their network lmao. I feel it’s important to mention I didn’t know this person ran said network at that time, which is why i said “these people”.

This other friend then came to me and just said my headers "may be seen as similar to nic's” and said she noticed it on her own and never mentioned my other “friend” approaching her. I was confused because other than that ripped paper effect that I know many people on tumblr use, I saw no similarities. Nic's headers are usually more complex and more than just a coloured background with a little effect in it. I just wanted to make some simple headers for fun because I was bored. But, regardless, I messaged nic about it to make sure she didn't feel the same way. I told her a friend of mine was worried nic might think my headers are similar to her's and I assured her that if she found them similar I would take them down, no questions asked. Nic told me she was surprised this friend brought it up and told me that it was entirely up to me if I found the headers similar. She never once told me she felt they were the same, never mentioned anything about them, she insisted it was up to me to do as I pleased. So, since I genuinely found no similarities, I left them up.

About a week went by and things between nic and I were fine, or so I thought, based off the fact that she was interacting with my posts, sending me cute asks and replying to a lot of my comments and stuff being kind and whatnot. Then, I decided to post a small list of my creations and the series I had running at the time.

After that, all of a sudden I got an influx of rude hate anons:

To anyone I mentioned the anons to, they agreed with me, you cannot trademark circular icons. This anon also accused me saying “just the fact that you had an anxiety attack about it proves you copied them” Like no sweetie, it’s called three strangers walked into my house and I got anxious.

Despite me not seeing the issue, I messaged nic, assuming she wouldn't care about the icons (it wasn't like I was taking her exact work and copying and pasting them as my own) and that made her very upset. When she responded to me, she was incredibly heated and gave off the vibe she was waiting for me to message her about it.

She said things like "this has actually been bothering me for a while", "i expected you to be able to read between the lines and delete the headers", "i don't know who that anon was but clearly they recognize my style". For starters, she never told me that she was annoyed with me, she was being very kind to me publicly. And I have no idea how I was meant to “read between the lines” of what she said especially considering how kind she was to me the following days. I also never accused her of knowing this anon, she just insisted it wasn't her and she didn't know them right off the bat. She also insinuated that I copied my gifs from others as well, which ticked me off because I made my 100+ layer psd myself thank you very much. But I kept my cool, and I told her I had no idea she felt the way she did, and I told her I would delete the headers (which i did as the conversation was going on), and that I would stop posting my icons and bringing attention to them because no one ever paid it any mind before that point. And I asked her “please tell me straight up the next time you have an issue with me because I am generally pretty dumb with social cues”, I have my adhd to thank for that. And instead of replying, she just blocked me. And conveniently, the hate anons stopped dead right after we blocked each other and I haven't received any since.

Also, these are the kinds of icons I posted:

Looks pretty generic and idk, universal, right?

Then, as I've recently found out today, she was in an "anti-loverjimin" groupchat with at least 2 other bloggers.

Which explains why this all went and fell into place. I know who the two other bloggers are because of what happened two days later but I won't name them just yet, but these two people had been "friends" with me for several months. So, a day or two after nic blocked me, all of a sudden some good friends of mine were blocking me and not talking to me when I asked what was going on. I found out soon after it was because nicole and those two now ex “friends” of mine had taken old dms I sent them and were showing them to people. And I will go into detail about them but I won't name the people they are about for privacy reasons.

Before I move on, to clarify some lies nic has been spreading about me, I never once shit talked nicole to my friends. One of these ex friends also said I was trying to get people on my side. I would have reacted to this all very very differently if that were the case. I would be dragging everyone through the fucking dirt but I don't get off on drama or micromanaging what my mutuals do. My issues are with these people, if you're still friends with them that's your decision i could not care less. So, back to it, the only thing I said about nic was that she and I had a stupid small fight over icons and that she was spreading lies about me, based off of what nic said to jordan.

That exact message, or slight variations of it, was sent to anyone I interacted with because I didn't know if nic was going to stop at jordan or try and get to everyone I fucking knew lmao. Some of the people I messaged this to told ME nic had done this kind of thing before, that she has sent hate anons, launched hate campaigns, cancelled people, etc. Over stupid shit like icons lmao.

Here are some responses I received after I mentioned nicole:

And nic or one of her friends also took it upon themselves to send anons to that tea blog to blow shit up and named everyone and made it an even bigger mess when they saw no one was actively trying to fight me after the dms got out.

I also love that in this following ask, they named my two “friends” that were behind the whole dm drama and backstabbed me, as well as two other people I never badmouthed, that story was twisted. But we’ll get into those details shortly.

And she also told people I clout chased big blogs and only cared about notes. At one point, yes, I did care a lot about my statistics. However, never once did I think clout chasing was worth my fucking time or energy, Nic is the biggest clout chaser on this damn site and there are receipts of that, ask jordan lmao. And I couldn’t give two shits about my statistics anymore lmao, much less anxiety that way. Do I still crave validation sometimes? Sure. But it's not a driving force of my tumblr experience like it used to be.

But, moving on to the dms, the first one was sent when I first came back to tumblr full-time and didn't understand why people self reblogged things, I found the pretence of self reblogging annoying and greedy and I complained about it and it was a comment fuelled by two bloggers that i would see sr a lot on my dash. But I never thought THEY were annoying, as these people are saying I did, it was self reblogging I found annoying and as you can see I have come to understand why people sr and I do it myself too. I didn't even know these two bloggers at this time either. That dm was cropped to hide the fact that this "friend" agreed with me and hid the date as well so it seemed recent, and was sent to one of the bloggers I mentioned as an example, someone I had since become good friends with.

I didn’t befriend one of the people I mentioned there until mid to late June. That friendship is now over thanks to this drama and all the lies. The second friend of mine they went after was never spoken about in dms, they went and turned her against me through lies and manipulation so that friendship has ended too. And while those two were doing that, nic went off to try and turn jordan against me.

There was a particular user on here that I did say some nasty things about but we weren't friends, as many people have been made to believe. I was particularly mad at this person in those dms and was hurtful, I admit, and I have since apologized and owned up to all of it to these people. I did call them fake and/or two-faced.

And what in the gassing me up bullshit was their response though lmao. I also sent this following dm before I even talked about the issue with this person. They urged me to continue and to name drop the person, and I stupidly thought they were trustworthy.

My reasoning for what I said wasn't unwarranted though, I don't make a habit of going around shit-talking people, unless they do something to me first. I vent when I am upset and this person had sent me a passive aggressive ask and then denied sending it when I asked and I thought that was just very fake, especially since she was so kind to me in dms before the ask came in. But all of these dms were cropped too to hide timestamps and responses, and in most cases, like those screenshots prove, these "friends" either gassed me up or egged me on to continue ranting or to name the people i was mad at and they had agreed with me on several, several occasions. Turns out they were trying to get dirt on me to use in their cancel campaign. But the point is, nic has made me out to be this horrible person that befriends "big blogs" (an overrated statement) and then shit talks them behind their back without remorse. Yet it was one person I said rude things about and I, again, owned up to it all and apologized to them the first day. I would've done it sooner had I a) remembered feeling the way I did all those months ago or remembered the dms themselves or b) felt that way still after meeting them. But neither is the case.

I find it really amusing though that these people wanted things to be kept quiet and didn’t want anyone they spoke to to talk to me about it because I was going to “out them on my blog” and “make a big scene”, then they three went and made it a big fucking scene and ruined my friendships. I’m familiar with this pattern of manipulation as it has happened to me in real life before and it’s the most childish bullshit to witness.

Before this callout day for nic, I had never once been directly rude to or about her, same goes for those ex “friends” that betrayed my trust and friendship. The fact that they plotted against me in a group chat while still actively talking to me and being all buddy buddy is just disgusting. Both of them were talking to me that day at the same time they were sharing the dms and shit-talking me to my friends. But yeah, that's my side, the untwisted side, of the whole story. I tried to be mature and talk to nic and when I didn't do what she wanted me to do, she blocked me and launched the hate campaign with dms and the power of photoshop. I’ve been hesitant to make any of this public because it was meant to be a silent ordeal but I’ve grown tired of her constantly publicizing everything without consequence while I remain silent like I promised.

#anon #replied💌#tw:negativity #drama #long post #read at your own risk aha #its a shit show #idc if you rb it #pinning temporarily for the next day(sih)#ish*#edited with screenshots and whatnot that i forgot i had on my phone lmao

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nastyatticman · 3 years

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If Slashers had horny Tumblrs...

What it says on the tin! HC post for if Jason, Bubba, Brahms, & Billy (Lenz) had their own tumblrs for horny content. (18+ only)

If you like these, feel free to send a request for other characters if you want :D

Contains : adult content, discussions of kink & brief mention of sexual harassment

Jason Voorhees

Very barebones bio that gives some basic info - his age, his gender/pronouns, and a warning this blog contains adult content.

Doesn’t get updated often, and it’s usually all at night. Mostly consists of content he reblogs from different creators (artists/sex workers, etc)

Don’t expect a fancy theme or anything - he only uses his phone for horny content since he shares a computer with his sweet old boomer mom.

A good mix - largely pictures people post of themselves or art he likes. Sometimes he’s in a Mood and reblogs a bunch of very specific kinky posts - text posts with affirmations from doms, risqué art, gif sets of people in gear.

He doesn’t have a huge following or anything, just a handful of mutuals and spam bots he doesn’t clear out frequently. But when he posts anything he thinks could be too intense he makes sure to tag it with warnings, just in case.

Sometimes leaves little compliments for people - he’s usually too shy to message people directly but he’ll reblog their posts and say nice things in the tags. Nothing too forward, usually things like “you look so handsome here!”

Bubba Sawyer

Makes sure not to put any identifying info but he usually puts his age/vague age range (“in my 30s”) because people ask for that.

A collection of stuff he likes, mostly pictures or gifs or the odd video or audio post.

A lot of mostly vanilla content - again, what turns him on, what he can jerk it to easily. Stuff he can focus on when he’s really trying to get off. I feel like he’s more likely to reblog a gif set of people just going at it or pictures of a hot person in lingerie or cute undies than anything with too much of a kink/fetish focus. But not always.

I’m not sure if our Bubba can read/write very well so I can’t see him reblogging or writing long text posts, but there will be a few short ones here and there.

He’s a little too nervous to post intimate pics publicly but I can see him on a very very confident day posting pics of just his hands after seeing people talk abt how they like strong hands.

Again, doesn’t write a lot, so he doesn’t add comments to reblogs or anything

He may leave nice things in tags tho! Like Jason he sometimes leaves little compliments for people whose content he reblogs (ur dress is so pretty!). Sometimes he tags things with certain emojis that seem to have some kind of meaning… a mood he’s in… or maybe they remind him of someone he likes?

Brahms Heelshire

VERY detailed very organized pinned post with info about him including a list of his kinks, and what interactions he wants/doesn’t want. Also, places to send him tribute. Not that he needs the money, of course, but he wouldn’t mind if you got him something off his wishlist. (Wink wink nudge nudge.)

I see him as a switch who leans heavily towards submissive with a bratty streak. However people tend to assume he’s more dominant since he reblogs more dom centered text posts (he’s usually imagining he’s the sub in those scenarios).

Has a decent following since he will periodically produce a lot of original content - mostly text posts, or audio, and the occasional picture where his face is obscured and no naughty bits are showing directly. He errs on the side of caution since he doesn’t want to get struck down by the tumblr nipple police, and also because are you kidding me his family has a reputation to uphold, he can’t afford to get caught

Tumblr is his main horny platform of choice because he finds it easier to organize content he likes into an archive, and there’s more privacy. He tried making an nsfw account on other platforms before, but because of linked accounts and email fuckery he got recommended to follow a family friend and nearly shat himself. (He has a good handle on privacy and he knows that person couldn’t find him - he double checked his privacy settings after that - but it still scared him off that website, at least for that purpose.)

Because he has a decent following he also has a few mutuals he’s messaged periodically. He’s varying degrees of close - some only know him from his posts, some know his main tumblr, some may even be following him on other platforms as “long distance friends”

Every once in a while debates about having his own server for his simps followers, but he’s not sure about using his discord where he keeps in touch with friends/family for it or making a new one. You’re welcome to message him if you’re mutuals or you send him some cash first ❤️

Billy Lenz

What do you mean, “horny on main”? What, like you have an alt?

His blog is like, 98% porn but every once in a while he’ll reblog a non porn post to get into an argument.

“You sure have a lot of opinions on Canadian politics for a hentai blog 🤔”

Mostly an archive of stuff he finds hot at the time, without rhyme or reason - reblogs, links to other websites, etc. mostly chaos, but it seems like every once in a while he tries to have some kind of tagging system.

He sometimes posts original content - sometimes rambling text posts about the kind of sex he wants to have, very rarely pictures of himself. that he deletes immediately after in fear of getting flagged.

When it comes to audio posts… the Moaner lives up to his name. Although he’s not skilled with recording - clearly doing it on his phone - His audios aren’t half bad if you can find them. Usually captioned with something about how he made them or what he was thinking about when he made them.

Let’s be real, canon Billy had like no concept of consent. Or just didn’t care, because he wanted to scare and intimidate people. He’s definitely been blocked by people for sending creepy messages/asks or adding unwanted captions to their posts. When he wants to hit on someone in a way that means they may reciprocate, he’s nicer, but people are still (understandably) put off by him.

At his most polite though, he’d be the type to send an ask to someone saying he hopes they come to Toronto so that he can eat their hot pink cunt and make them cum on his thick tongue and fat, juicy cock. (This is regardless of factors like their actual location, whether or not they have a cunt, or travel guidelines due to the pandemic.)

#slasher fandom #jason voorhees #bubba sawyer #brahms heelshire #billy lenz #slasher imagines #lemon #nsft #noises from the attic #first post like this im nervous #who would u follow tho? i can see myself following brahms tbh #nasty attic originals

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hxdrostorm · 3 years

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𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐝

Indie. Selective. Private (mutuals only), +18. Multimuse. Multifandom.

@ non RP blogs that stumble upon my posts: Hello there, I see you guys! I see that my posts are showing up in the characters’ main tags, as a result of the way I’ve made my tags in combination with how Tumblr’s search system now functions! Unfortunately, there isn’t anything I can do about it. While I don’t mind you guys seeing/liking the things I put out, or even following me for that matter. All I ask is for you to not reblog my posts, in fact, I’d much rather if you guys just straight up blocked me. Also for the love of everything, keep your rude messages to yourself, anything of that nature will be deleted on sight! I’m not here to waste my time on some mindless discourse, I’m not interested in hearing how much you disagree with my takes or how it diverges from the canon or the popular fanons.

**THIS IS A +18 YEARS OLD BLOG** (due to a wide variety of subjects that aren’t suitable for minors. IDC how close you’re to your birthday, this blog is for 18 and up ppl). MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS WILL BE SOFTBLOCKED, REFOLLOWING ME WILL LEAD INTO BLOCKING. I WILL ONLY WRITE WITH AND FOLLOW +20 y/o MUNS.

**This is mandatory**: You must have a rules page/doc/whatever. If you don’t have one set up, then I won’t even bother with your blog.

Here’s my threads tracker! (please consider supporting the dev’s work on patreon!)

Rules highlights: (READ MORE BC OF THE LENGTH)

@ Star wars blogs: My blog contains cloneshipping content (writing only. Blacklist cloneshipping cw). If that’s a deal breaker to you then, just block me. Read my disclaimers here!

If I ever end up making you feel uncomfortable, for WHATEVER reason, LET ME KNOW. Without a doubt it was all a matter of genuine mistake.

I reserve the right to unfollow and block anyone, I don’t owe an explanation for doing so. Do not evade it, nor send people after me in an attempt to score an answer for you. If you find out you’ve been blocked by me, move on like any other person would.

The same goes out to anyone following me, who wishes to break mutuals with! Block and unfollow to your heart’s content, IDC what you do in order to feel well. I’d much prefer being softblocked, so I don’t end up sending prompts or interacting with your posts/blog, without realising we no longer were mutuals.

There’s no pressure when it comes to interacting with my muses. As in, if you’re only looking to interact with one out of all the other options? I’m cool with that. The choice is yours, I’ll obviously try to offer as many as I can see fit for us. But I’ll never force anything upon anyone. And on that note: All I ask in return is to respect my grading system for muses (primary, secondary & tertiary/friends only stuff)! As mentioned in the directory, while I don’t mind HC asks aimed at those tertiary muses. Interactions and plots are reserved only for my long-time partners or friends!

Reblog karma is in effect, if I reblog a prompt from you I will send in something back. And I expect the same from you, if you do nothing but reblog memes directly from me without sending anything back, you will be blocked. I have a tolerance when it comes to mutuals, I’ll contact you to stop with it. However, I have zero tolerance for non-mutuals.

Just don’t be a dick man, let’s all be civil around here.

I am NOT fictionkin nor self-insert friendly, I’ve had way too many bad run ins with those folks, and want nothing to do with them! Mun =/= Muse, if you can’t understand that concept then leave.I’m NOT my muses, and I’m not here to judge anyone or fulfill anyone’s fantasies like that.

Non-mutuals: please refrain from sending prompts that have been specifically tagged/marked as ‘mutuals’. They have been marked in such way, for a reason. I get you may want to draw my attention to your blog, however, that’s not the way to go about it (If you do this, I’ll likely take it as an attempt to brute force your way into my boundaries. DMing me is a whole lot better.). I take a while to follow people back, you can find more info in regards to what I look into people’s blogs & take into consideration before following back in my rules doc.

I’m strongly against the idea of “if we’re mutuals, then we’re immediately friends!” (as it promotes an unhealthy sense of overfamiliarity, and it has put me in awkward situations in the past).So please, don’t go around calling me a friend, unless we’ve known each other and have been in constant contact for quite some time. It’s nothing against anyone, that’s just how I roll.

On following: If I don’t get followed back after an week or so, I’ll take that as the person’s way of saying they aren’t interested and I’ll unfollow!

#[ pinned post ]

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aspl1tl1fe · 3 years

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Responses From The Backup Blog

As many of you know my blog was terminated for a couple of hours yesterday. As I was unsure whether I’d get it back, I set up @aspl1tl1f3 as a back up. My first priority was to try and find and reconnect with all of my mutuals and followers. I did this by posting this over there, before finding and following as many simblrs as I could remember off of the top of my head. After about 19 simblrs I remembered that I hadn’t had lunch, and while I stepped away to eat I got a couple of followers (including new people who weren’t following here), reblogs, and comments of support. 20 or 30 minutes after that and my simblr and primary blog were reinstated.

So I decided to make this post to respond to everyone who found me there in case they missed this post, and to also let the new people over there know about this simblr over here.

So first up I wanted to tag the new people who followed my backup blog, @joojconverts, @diplacesims, @lovelynnde, @desiree-uk, @gifappels-stuff, @braxensims, and @pxelblobs. Hello to both of you! This is my main simblr. I have over 1200 posts to date, primarily game play shots, and I post five days a week. If you are into TS3 shots, please join me over here. While I do intend to reblog posts from this simblr to the back up one you are currently following, this is my main place.

Now to the replies:

@danjaley said:

I’m so sorry this happened to you! Let’s hope it is only a light case and you’ll be restored soon - the same happened to me 1-2 years ago.

Yeah, they reinstated me within a few hours (as you probably already know). They basically classified the link to Darasims’ website that I had in an old post as a spam violation. When I reblogged the post, I guess that brought the link to their attention (as the original post has been on here for about a year).

silvakristiina said:

Boo, this is so unfare! 🤨☹ Hope you get your account back! 💗

Yay! I’m back!!! Thank you so much!

schokokokatze said:

What the hell, that’s so bad! I loved your gameplay posts, they were stunning D:

Thanks so much for calling my shots stunning! As my lighting is not so great and I don’t know how to use photoshop, having someone call my shots stunning is a super big deal for me!

joojconverts said:

I’m sorry for you, let’s hope Tumblr does something about it! :(

I’m going to be completely honest. I didn’t expect to get my account back. Since they’d terminated my main tumblr and secondary, I thought I got caught up in that thing they’d been doing with deleting older tumblrs to make server space that someone mentioned some weeks back. I was really shocked when they reinstated me in a matter of hours.

technicallyswagpizza said:

Nooo! All the hard work 😭

You know, if my simblr had been gone longer I think I would have felt the frustration of loosing all my posts. At the time I was like, I still have the pictures so I can just repost them all, as I don’t actually get tired of looking at them and remembering my play experiences.

Once again I want to thank all of the people who reblogged the message to help me try and find my mutuals, follows, and followers again. I really appreciate you all!

#TS3 Community #simBUTnotsim #@joojconverts #joojconverts #@diplacesims #diplacesims #@danjaley #danjaley #@silvakristiina #silvakristiina #@schokokokatze #schokokokatze #@technicallyswagpizza #technicallyswagpizza

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genderfluidlucifer · 3 years

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Response to being asked to give an opinion on Connie’s calout by residentevil-4

(Tw: CSAM, rape fic, incest fic, predatory behavior, racism, ableism, kink mention, nsfw mentions. Minors should probably dni.)

“Connie and I know each other irl and went to school together for 3 years, although they now live in a different state and have cut contact with me. We went to a private therapy school in Manhattan as we're both disabled and were deemed unable to attend public school. Even though we were pretty close, Connie didn't like having photos taken of them, so I don't have any selfies of the two of us; however, these are from our sophomore and senior yearbooks which at least confirms that we were in the same year at school. People who have seen Connie's selfies should be able to confirm that that is what they look like. First and foremost, Connie is not TMA. They are intersex and the two of us have discussed intersex issues both in person and online, but they are still decidedly CAFAB.” Ok so first off, I want to address this part of the callout. To be honest...was it really necessary to literally doxx Connie ehre? Because this textbook definition of doxxing. Yes Connie’s done some shitty things but I freally don’t think that what they’ve done warrants this level of doxxing. Or...even better, any doxxing. This feels like a really unnecessary breach of privacy, revealing sensitive information on Connie’s childhood that they choose to confide in you with. I really don’t agree with this aspect of the callout as it feels very invasive and bordering on stalkerish. Btw when I say bordering on stalkerish I’m not directly calling you a stalker Bonnie. Just so we’re clear. I am not defending Connie supposedly faking being TMA. Because faking being TMA is a very serious issue. HOWEVER since I don’t know Connie irl and to be quite frank it’s none of my business what the nature of their agab is. Were not close and I’m certainly not going to like lead Connie onto thinking we’re friends just to confirm this with them because that would be creepy. So to be honest I’m going to take this part of the callout with again of salt for now.

[ID: A cropped screenshot of a numbered list Connie posted to their blog hadrosaurs in response to an ask.

“3. I’m TMA And that’s completely irrelevant. I’m not accusing them because of their gender I didn’t even know their gender when they said that to me saying that they said that because they fucking said that and the reaction to it was incredibly alarming. Don’t fucking say that stuff to people.]

I mean I”m not a trans woman so take this with a grain of salt if you want but...I don’t see how this is really proof of Connie being deliberately transmisogynistic? Yes Connie gives iffy retellings of mistakes they’ve made in the past. I’ve seen that on their blog before and I won’t pretend it doesn’t happen. BUT here they sound genuine enough and to be honest a growing issue I’ve seen with callouts as of late is. A person confirms they in fact did not do the thing they were called out for. And then the people who make the callout choose to see it as proof of incriminating behavior anyways. To be honest it’s a big problem and it’s also incredibly unfair to the person being called out. If you’re so determined at that point to see the person as bigoted no matter what they say then of course anything they say can be seen as proof. So I’m going to have to pass on this bit of evidence. ��Connie responded: “Final note: I have spoken extensively with several trans women about using TMA to describe myself. I will not be getting into discourse about that on this blog again. All that leads to is people demanding my medical records and calling me slurs. If you wanna have a thoughtful conversation about it direct message me cause it’s not happening again here.” Again this really doesn’t seem all that self incriminating. Connie mentions here that they’ve talked to rl trans woman about whether or not they can be considered TMA. Connie really doesn’t have to disclose that personal information to people for any reason. Yes even when people are e including this ask response in a callout. And considering lots of people DO get invasive about Connie’s medical history ans general personal life over matters like this? I feel their reaction is pretty understandable here. “Connie has constantly compared “exclusionists” (or anyone, really) to TERFs, even when the people in question are not transmisogynistic, trans exclusionary radfems, or are even transmisogyny affected themselves.

“ Gonna have to disagree with this part of the callout too. Lots of ace inclus blogs, even some run by trans women , have proven that the ace exclus movement was started by swerfs/terfs. But the blog that has the most evidence for this is courteousmingler on tumblr. I suggest you check out that blog’s archiving of the history of ace exclus rhetoric before rushing to call me a transmisogynist for disagreeing with this part of the callout. I looked through all of the evidence for Connie being racist and tbh as a black ndn it all feels incredibly flimsy. It’d be one thing if Connie was using their experiences to derail and invalidate the discussions about how black people are oppressed But they weren’t doing that there at all. This part of the post feels incredibly biased. And like OP is looking for things to be mad about. Going to have to pass on this list of evidence. Also uh I seem to recall that residentevil04 got called out for some questionable behavior as well. “Both me (insepsy, hi) and ezrat have had really weird spikes in activity on our Statcounters, both on the same day. (Saturday, 4/17/21) For both of us, majority of the pages looked at by these visitors have been related to or about Connie, or have been posts that Connie would find "problematic" such as the f slur untagged or something related to "panphobia"/aphobia. I’m sorry but...none of the proof of cyberstalking holds any water. Visiting someone’s blogs and rbing posts to disagree with them is not cyberstalking. Keeping tabs on urls that an abusive person who has harassed are using so you can block them (in this case with kyoshi) and warn your mutuals is not stalking. As a victim of rl stalking it’s...really weird to call this legit stalking at all. Much less claim that you have damning proof of it being stalking when no such evidence exists in the callout. Besides after Connie and nonbinarydave called out one of kyoshi’s buddies for sending a death threat hate anon to nonbinarydave’s toddler st4lker partly admitted to doing it a few times. Then other mutuals in kyoshi’s toxic social circle clearly began joining in. Making side accounts where they tried to spin a false narrative of nonbinarydave’s daughter being one of their alters (ableist as hell.) And also trying to do it in such a way that they thought would trigger nonibnarydave’s psychosis (also ableist as hell.) If you’re going to drag Connie for their mistakes and never let them move on from those mistakes then it’s only fair to do that to people you agree with who also do toxic/bigoted things. ALso the fact that your wording here suggests that you think panphobia and aphobia aren’t real makes me doubt this claim even more. Exclus and their allies are notorious for mislabeling inclus disagreeing with them as stalking. “connie said that they would release that info at a later time and the minor began to argue with them that they had a responsibility regardless of their complicated relationship with age. in this argument connie for a time kept their age ambiguous and at one point told the minor (who confirmed in a later ask that they were severely traumatized by adults) that they obviously weren’t traumatized. connie quickly deleted this ask and any mentions of it and the next post they reblogged was about how wrong it was to try and quantify or discount others’ trauma. on my old blog i @ed them in the replies and asked if they had just done that. connie admitted to it and said it was fucked up but quickly blocked + deleted my comment. i can’t remember whether or not connie apologized to the minor, they may have? but yeah. i thought that was pretty weird.”] I do agree with some of the concern here that adults shouldn’t over expose minors in discourse. I’ve been contemplating this for awhile myself. And trying to figure out how to take better steps to avoid including minors who are triggered by discourse in discourse, especially. HOWEVER I have one little issue with this addition to the callout. If that is the case then exclus and their allies need to practice this as well. You cannot ignore the fact that the reason a lot of minors are getting involved in exclus discourse is due to adult exclus and their allies forcing minors to pick a side in the discourse. Y’all are not at all exempt from this problem. I still remember an ex mutual of mine trying to convince a minor to agree that aces can’t face corrective rape. And based on how aggressive it got with me when I tried to avoid giving an opinion on the matter, I can’t imagine that it would’ve reacted better to the minor refusing to give an opinion or to the minor outright disagreed. Refusing to put these standards on exclus and their allies is both hypocritical and quite frankly very transparent. The claims about them glorifying dark topics on AO3 through their fics also seems unfortunately legit. I mean those asks of shaming people who ask their viewers to not romanticize or glorify abusive relationships in their works is very damning. I’m very disappointed to see that Connie has taken being an inclus to the point of validating antis anti culture wholeheartedly. I can’t think of much more to add to my opinion on that part of the callout. As for the issue of Connie interacting with pro shippers in the past, I do know that this claim is legit. I’ve seen it before and so has Breeze. This was why for a brief time we decided to stop following their blogs. Because it was triggering to have pro shippers put on our dash. And sometimes we just don’t feel it’s worth it to always let people we’re platforming know they’re rbing triggering stuff. So sometimes we just quietly unfollow and choose to not interact until we’re sure they’re filtering what they do and don’t rb in some way. I definitely don’t agree with that behavior. And if they’re still doing that I”ll deplatform again. “The anon asks: “A weird question but do you know any other stimboard blogs with your follow criteria? (No radfems, racists, fandom antis, etc.) I was hoping to find more through your “similar blogs” but a lot have no anti-antis for their DNI or allow truscum/transmeds and exclus. :(“

The user responds: “I know of @turtle-pond-stims, @outofangband, and @kinaesthetics! 🍂🍄" “[ID: A cropped screenshot of an ask sent by Connie from their now-deactivated blog, butch-with-a-tortoise.

Connie says: “hey anon I have safe stim blogs. dm me if you want them. And radfems/bigots aren’t allowed to interact. For my own safety (because the community is honestly terrifying) I can’t publicly say on my blogs that I’m safe for proshippers/kinky people but I try to spread word how I can.”] [ID: Screenshot of a post by evilwriter37, which reads, “I’ve been seeing posts about fandom police leaving ao3, and it’s like: Good. We don’t want you here anyway. Go find your own fanfiction site.”

The post is tagged “#Fandom #AO3 #Antis #Purity Culture” and has 87 notes. It was posted on December 21st, 2020.

There is a reply from main-to-outofangband-andothers saying: “there are Silm antis on that site who are against Russigon (Maedhros and Fingon) not because they’re cousins but because they’re both male (coded)”] [ID: A screenshot of an anonymous (though signed off as being from outofangband) ask sent to evilwriter37, which says, “Melkor and Viggo solidarity is ‘Look there’s nothing wrong with keeping my enemy chained up in my personal chambers at all times so please just focus on the war efforts and I’ll focus on the boy* in my chambers’ -@outofbangand.

*boy used figuratively @ antis”

The user responds: “Pfft!!! Hahaha! You’re absolutely right! (And Viggo does refer to Hiccup in canon as ‘my boy’).”] I can’t really say anything to refute this. Because these are all posts of Connie outright stating that they disagree with antis. And not only sympathize with anti antis but are fully against antis. Looks like very damning evidence. Although ngl I’m not entirely against kinky blogs as a whole? Just so long as they truly stay in their lane with their kink content. And don’t force it on others in any way. Or shame people who are triggered by their kinks. It is true that being entirely against kinky blogs no matter what is dipping your toes into swerf rhetoric. Tbh I’m not going to look at the rest. This is pretty much all I need to make a decision on whether or not I”ll continue platforming Connie. Though I will try to get some more perspective from people who I interact with as well. Because I feel better about making a more definitive decision after doing that. Also in general please don’t not try to get an opinion from me on how I feel about syscourse. A lot of the claims about Connie’s age weirdness and them using their alters as a shield feel like syscourse to me. Especially if this callout was written by one or several singlets. Singlets should never be trying to judge how legit someone’s system is ever. Even if their system friends encourage them to. You can call out a horrible person with a system without trying to insinuate that they’re lying about their alters in some way. Doing otherwise is ableist ESPECIALLY if you’re a singlet. Also in general the reason I stay out of discussions of judging how someone is handling their systems is because it’s syscourse and syscourse is triggering for my system and I. If this post was an attempt to get me to give an opinion on the validity of Connie’s system I don’t appreciate it. And I would appreciate not being dragged into such matters again, thank you.

In general there’s like a few parts of this callout that feel legit. Which is unfortunately cluttered with obvious bias and obsessive hatred of Connie. I’m not here to stan or coddle Connie. I know they are not a perfect person. Especially since no human being in the world is perfect. But I feel the way this callout was created was very sloppy since a lot of the evidence was messy at best. And some points were very hypocritical as well as there being some no true scotsman moments from OP. In acting like exclus never do any of the thing that they tried to call out Connie for. Which is behavior that I am not a fan of. This is why people need to be more careful about callouts and like make roughdrafts and have a more unbiased person helping them if they don’t feel they can do it on their own. I’m even trying to make a resolve to do better at that myself. So it’s not like I’m unwilling to put my money where my mouth is. Anyways those are all my thoughts on this messy callout. And tbh I’m not going to get too much more heavily involved in this. Because I need to focus on more immediately serious rl stuff more often, like doing what I can to get out of the hellish landscape of a house I currently am stuck in.

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hopeswriting · 3 years

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Modern AU (Adult!)Arcobaleno on socials media though. While Flames and mafia are definitely still a thing.

Now I’m by no means well acquainted to all the different popular socials media, but here’s my humble take:

Reborn on Instagram.

He only has pictures of Leon first and foremost, with him in the background in one of his ridiculous but very well-made cosplay. Leon of course also wears the same cosplay as him.

He never shows his full face in any of the pictures, but just enough his followers know he’s handsome as fuck.

The artists/photoshoppers among them regularly put the pieces together to see how he could look like, but in a funny-and-obviously-purposefully-wrong way only.

Reborn loves them and saves them all.

------

Once in a blue moon he does post a picture of himself where you can see him clearly all dressed up and fancy, and then immediately deletes it.

But only after he’s sure it has been seen, so he can watch his followers lose their shit while drinking a nice espresso.

They try hard, but so far none of them managed to save any of the pictures before he deletes them.

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Often there’s what suspiciously looks like blood stains on their clothes and straight up dead bodies lying in the background, but Reborn went so passive-aggressive with the few who dared to ask, everyone is too afraid to ask now.

Anyone who badmouths Leon in any way is instantly blocked. But only after Reborn ripped them a new one AND let his followers do it too.

Skull on Twitter and Snapchat.

He tweets the most random, out of nowhere, highly worrying things, that always sent his followers in a frenzy trying to figure out why the fuck he would think of any of this in the first place??

“aren’t you ever tried of your solid, rigid, restrictive bones? don’t you want to just be Luffy from One Piece, a rubber being that can shape themself in whatever way they wish?”

or:

“nobody ever tells you this, but the stress of picking apart melted leather from your burnt skin before it heals is VERY worth the adrenaline of making fire your BITCH”

or:

“is it REALLY illegal if you break in and eat the food but leave money behind??”

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That’s just his Twitter only followers though.

The ones on Snapchat have the privilege to watch him stumble head first step by step to his tweets, and are actually very involved and active spectators that keep him out of jail, or killing himself, or killing someone else.

Skull, recording a video, halfway stuck in between two buildings: What’s up guys, there're these guys following me and trying to kill me, quick tell me what bones to break so I can fit in there.

see also:

A picture of Skull crouched in front of a body, posing, that says: don’t worry guys we’re just faking, but hypothetically, if you were to hide a body as quick as possible from here without being seen, what would you do? #hypotheticallyseriousanswersonly #hypotheticallythecopsaremaybeontheirway #quickanswersappreciated

Verde on Facebook.

He creates a public group with only him as member that’s basically his scientific diary.

It’s not really to invite intellectual challenging debates (though he’d be all for it if someone smart enough showed up), but he figures it’s in his best interest to make the world a less dumb place if he can.

It finds his public, though there’s only a few comments because god forbid you say something dumb or inaccurate and Verde fucking annihilates you in the comment section.

But like, in a teacher way. Like he’s genuinely trying to make you know better but he’s just ruthless at it lmao.

Verde uses a fake name and a fake everything so there’s quickly a running joke along the lines of “Imagine if it’s really the genius scientist Verde running the group and you just outed yourself as a flat earther lol”.

------

But what gets the group really popular is the in depth flames theory involving weather of all things they have to assume he came up with it all on his own because they can’t figure out to save their lives what the hell he’s talking about?

And it makes them question their sanity sometimes because Verde talks about it like it’s the most obvious thing and in the context of just about every basic aspects of life.

Cue the conspirators and their hot new take of “the aliens were among us all along and hid themselves as the WEATHER!!!” that instantly turns into the new popular meme.

That, and the transcripts posts of Verde trying his theories that nine out of ten apparently involves very unwilling participants whose life are threatened and sometimes they straight up DIE???

------

They think both of these is just him fucking with them and it’s all fictional. They want to think it is anyway.

They’re not so sure, but everyone is too afraid to ask.

Colonnello on Snapchat.

70% of his content is about Lal because this man is so in love and it’s like he’s a guest on his own account lol.

There’s the “Pining Hard” content where it’s just him trying to seduce Lal, to romance her and asking her out, and Lal brushing all of it off more often than not.

His followers are very invested in this “old bickering married couple type of best friends in oblivious mutual pining” real live action slow burn fic, and cheers him hard whenever Lal reciprocates the tiniest bit.

------

They don’t know the two are already together.

They think Lal brushing him off or flirting back but in an unmistakably joking/”platonic” way is just her being oblivious and not taking Colonnello seriously.

When she would just rather flirt back off camera because it’s her private life thank you very much.

Colonnello never tells them because he assumes they all know and just choose to be in on the joke.

Lal finds it hilarious whenever she goes through his Snapchat (with his permission of course) to find numerous messages of encouragement, so she never says either.

------

But one day she kind of just steals a kiss from him while he’s recording because she wanted to, and his followers lose their shit.

Lal laughs herself to tears and laughs for days.

------

The other Lal’s related content is the “Lal’s loving hours”, where he just takes pictures of her/records her doing random shit---whether it's her making a disaster out of the kitchen, or wearing three pairs of socks because her feet are cold, or beating the shit out of someone---and him doing heart eyes at the camera.

------

Otherwise it’s just him living his life and letting them in on what happens.

There’s a lot of pictures because he’s handsome and he knows it and he likes the compliments aqsdfghj.

Or videos of him going on and on about how energy drinks are really the best drink ever while doing grocery.

Or ranting videos about how bullets wounds are such a pain to deal with and showing himself patching himself up to show how it’s done (thanks??!!??).

Or him watching series and roasting the characters for their dumb decisions.

Or him commenting in real time an assassination attempt on him in the middle of the night in his own fucking home because the fucker sure is ballsy (????!!!!!!???).

It’s very popular too because of how relatable it is.

Well, most of the time anyway.

Viper on Youtube.

They have a DIY type of channel, mostly about fashion---what they think about the new products/clothes they bought from their favorite brand, their thoughts on the new fashion trend, their makeup/skin care routine and favorite outfits for various circumstances, or they’re often on live while going shopping.

(I just really like Fashionista!Viper okay.)

They play videos games too, thinking they’re being very good while being very average to not say they straight up suck asdfghj.

Occasionally do reaction videos too.

------

Like Reborn they hardly ever show their face. Actually they don’t show it at all lol. They wear masks to do their videos because a hood is not very reliable.

How do they do their makeup videos then you ask?

They use "volunteer" as models of course.

And by volunteers I mean the Varia qsdftgyhjkl.

------

They also have another very peculiar brand of videos that is the most popular one on their channel. The titles of these videos include but are not limited to:

“A Due Payment Of Yours Is Late? How To Hunt Them For Sport”

“A Little Bitch Doesn’t Respect Your Pronouns/Chosen Name? Step By Step On How To Make Them Shut The Fuck Up Forever”

“How To Efficiently Remove Blood And Various Others Human Residue From Your Clothes”

“Faking Your Death And Taking On A New Identity: Step By Step Tutorial”

“How To Take Over Your Friends Brains And Watch Them Prank Themselves ft. The Varia”

Fon on Tumblr.

His blog becomes known as a shitpost blog or a blog run by a bot when really, everything he posts is about actual, very real events that happened in his life.

Except he vague posts every time because he really wants to keep his anonymity.

He posts about the hardships of learning more and more martial arts and staying at the top of the art, and sounds like some dangerous psychopath.

“The body is such a fragile thing, isn’t it? It tends to break quite easily unfortunately. You’d think I’d know that by then, but I really need to remember it more often so I can keep enjoying myself.”

He’s talking about how he always pushes himself too much in training and ends up injuring himself.

“Everyday I dispose of them and reasserts my superiority, and everyday they come back and it’s really hard to not hurt them beyond repair.”

He’s talking about how he’s often challenged by other martial artists who don’t like him being the best and how he always has to beat them up bloody for them to give up.

He also posts about his family's live except it’s the Hibari’s family live, and he doesn’t sound more sane of mind at all.

“I made the mistake of taking Kyo with me on my grocery trip and picked on his tell-tale signs of going through a bad day too late.

But fortunately the shop is still standing and no one was heavily injured.”

or:

“It’s so heartwarming to see Kyo make friends. The brown haired kid didn’t put much of a fight but the one with the pineapple haircut has potential.

He almost managed to stab him that one time, and I can’t wait to tease Kyo about it. He’s very cute when annoyed and embarrassed.”

or:

“Often I look back to the day Kyo got his tonfa and I am always infinitely grateful for this not-so-easy-to-kill-with weapon.

I would like for him to at least finish high school first.”

Yeah it’s very often about Kyoya lmao. And no one knows for sure what in the world a “Kyo” is supposed to be???

An actual human being is NOT the most popular theory qsdfghn.

Lal on TikTok.

I guess?? I’m kind of running out of ideas lol, and I know very little about TikTok.

But I’m thinking she makes a series of videos where she looks straight into the camera like she’s on The Office while some bullshit or the other happens in the background.

And it’s not even always her friends or coworkers or Colonnello (yeah he has a category of his own lmao).

As far as she is concerned everyone who chooses to be a fucking dumbass in her vicinity is asking for it aqsdfghj.

------

Also has a “Doing paperwork” series, and the later at night she’s doing it, the more she’s absolutely fucking done with people not being able to do their job properly without collateral damage.

She dryly reads out loud the highlights of the reports and goes straight for their lives lol.

But as funny as it is, everyone is more interested in the very questionable out of context content of these reports???

------

Also does workout videos, as in she demonstrates how to do this one or other exercise, and if these do particularly well it has nothing to do with how people want to look respectfully at her body, of course not.

ALSO has a “Colonnello’s Loving Hours” series because you better believe this woman is also so much in love.

She records him when he’s simply existing---whether he’s snuggling besides her while they’re watching TV, or dancing in the kitchen while cooking, or cleaning his guns---while looking at the camera with this tender, content expression on her face.

They become known as the Weather Lovers because boy, do these people like to go on about their favorite weather. Some shipping might even be involved??

It’s how their community introduces them to each other.

Cue even more chaos on their respective socials medias.

Viper’s video of their first meeting is the most popular one on their channel.

Yeah I know, I didn’t add the Sky Arco ladies, but I have no idea what they could do. Pinterest maybe? Or Vine? Dunno, they’re all yours guys lol.

#katekyo hitman reborn #khr #khr au #khr arcobaleno #khr socials media au #the mafia in general on socials media though #like you're undercover for some hit or the other #but isn't it fucking suspicious how alfredo and marco are always on the exact same location on the snapchat map??#or trying to keep your civilian loved ones in the dark #but they went through your mafia friends account and they talk about you in a very you're obviously not a civilian manner #or you're showing your boss a possible talented new recruit profile #and a message of his wife pops on screen that leaves no room to misunderstanting asdfghj #just the fact that it'd indeniably make their job so much harder #but no one would care bcause VALIDATION #anyway #mine

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rrrawrf-writes · 4 years

Text

lordy lordy loo it’s been a hot minute since i’ve made an original post, i forgot where the button was

so. some of you may have seen the stuff running around about violetvineyard and mvcreates, some of you may not have. i’m just gonna lay out my experiences here, now that other people are talking about it and now that the server has been deleted. i’m gonna try to present a fair and nuanced version; i’m not gonna include screenshots (right now) bc i’m lazy, mostly.

there are several other people who are putting up way better breakdowns than i am. i just figured i might as well toss mine onto the pile bc why not? but if you’re hoping to hear from me a story about how i’ve been wronged, per se, you won’t find much of one, because i played mainly a spectator role, and never had much trouble there. i will have a vague, lukewarm defense of some of the people involved that other people may not agree with, but again, this is all just the whole VV deal from my point of view.

@nuwuhorizons (i haven’t said how dang much i lOVE your url) and @sapiencenotes have very good receipts and breakdowns. if you want a more in-depth (and dramatic, forgive me for using the word, i’m not trying to downplay this), check them out. @time-to-write-and-suffer also has some great stuff on their blog about all of this.

all righty. so. i joined VV not right at the beginning, but soon after it was started. there was an application process, i got accepted, i was looking for a community to help me start writing more. (it didn’t help, but that’s not their fault, that’s mine.) the person who owned the server was called mina, and on tumblr, mina’s url was mvcreates. mina is a nonbinary Muslim woman of color, a professional who i believe works at harvad and deals a lot with things like infectious diseases, iirc. she was doing a whole lot of work when the pandemic came around, and so the past few months wasn’t quite as active as she had been at the start, both on the server and tumblr.

the very first time mina came on my radar, before i joined vv, was because she had corrected someone’s typo on a post, and it stirred up a minor drama about “don’t give unsolicited criticism” and “is pointing out minor errors like that okay” and blahblahblah. i ran across that on a friend’s dash, and also ran across the promo for vv from that friend’s dash, as well, and joined bc y not.

everything was p cool for a while. it was nice to meet some new people and some of my mutuals on there. mina seemed like a fun person. she was about a year, year and a half, maybe, older than i am. the first things that kind of started rubbing me wrong at the start was how she would kind of dismiss suggestions for the server than i and a friend had, and how she kept bringing up her age - she would often say things like “well i wouldn’t do that but i’m an Old(TM) so maybe i just don’t get it” and i can’t really explain why that bothered me. i think it felt dismissive, like Younger Folks Don’t Know How Things Should Work. also, like. she kept bringing it up. as if it meant something, as if plenty of us on that server weren’t actually around her age. there was a convo on vaccinations where i wanted to make the point that a lot of anti-vaxxers should be educated instead of ridiculed and shamed, but i never really got to making that point bc she jumped in very sharply and explained that anti-vaxxers all come from a class of people who are generally educated. i didn’t bother saying anything else.

at the start, it was tiny little things like that. i chalked it up to her personality and mine just not quite matching up. i sat down a lot and examined my own internal biases, bc i knew something was bugging me, but i couldn’t tell if it was legitimate, or if i was jealous and petty, or if i was being discriminatory towards her identity. i still wonder that a lot; i want to be careful that i’m examining her actions here, and not the person who made those actions.

because the other thing that bothered me was that she was perfect at pretty much everything. she was a decent, if not good, writer, from what i read. i thought her “art”/edits were neat, even if sometimes i looked at them going “that just looks like an edit, not your own art, but u kno, edits are art too, so i’m not gonna say anything.” she had a lot of motivation, a lot of ambition. soon, this kind of transferred over into me feeling like she acted like she had to be perfect at everything. i think this is probably one of the more “lisa is just being petty” things, rather than a judgement on her character, but she seemed to flaunt her own skills and accomplishments a lot. not that no one is allowed to brag sometimes! but it was just another layer of “this bothers me.”

then there was the hero worship.

people in the server loved mina. i liked her. i had no problems with her, even if there were a few things i was a little “ehhhh” about. vv got pretty big, pretty quickly, and i assume there was a decent amount of turnover and people who just joined to lurk or sometimes share things in the promos channel or elsewhere. but the most active folks just. they adored mina with every fiber of their being. mina could do no wrong. no one ever called her out on anything; everything she did was hailed as fantastic and wonderful. and honestly, for the most part, it wasn’t like she was doing crappy stuff. some of the praise was well-deserved, imo, but it just bordered on embarrassing for some of these people, how much they just worshipped the ground she walked on.

and she didn’t really like, discourage it. like, at the start, i think i remember her being more modest, but in general, she just let it go, and so did i, bc like. i aint that kinda jerk.

the stated purpose of violetvineyard was to have a community that valued reciprocity. reciprocity was mina’s biggest thing. there was a channel for people to post their stuff on, so the rest of us could browse and read and reblog. i, admittedly, didn’t do as much of that as i wish i did, but part of it was because i do have a life outside of the internet, a memory and attention span the size of a gnat, and because like. 90% of the stuff that people put in the promos channel were things like edits, writeblr intros, wip intros, etc etc, when all i wanted was to just read some actual writing. but that’s neither here nor there. what got hilarious to me, though, was whenever mina’s fervent admirers would talk about how mina was, quote, a pillar of the community. how vv was doing something No Other Writeblr Group Had Done Before. how Important and Special this server was.

folks. i’ve been on here for several years now. we don’t have a community. we have a bunch of little cliques who reblog from their friends and complain about people not reblogging them. noah fence, but come on. vv got pretty dang big, but it was still a small corner of a small section of tumblr. like. sorry, all y’all, but them’s the breaks.

also, this was hilarious to me bc there are several big writeblrs who have been running around long before mina and vv showed up. yet, according to these people in the server, mina had Single-handedly Brought Hope To This Desolate Wasteland.

in the end, vv became just another little clique whose members reblogged from their friends. i don’t want to devalue the good that did come out of vv. a lot of the picture being painted rn was that the majority of the server were scary dog-piling people. the majority of the server were just writeblrs looking to promo their stuff and talk about their writing. unfortunately, few bad apples, bad rep, negatives outshine positives, etc etc. but i think it did do some good re: exposure for a few folks, even tho it didn’t turn into what it could have been.

another one of the things that was a minor irritant to me was that they eventually started archiving the vent channel, which was probably the most-used channel. that didn’t sit right to me, but as always, i was a coward had nothing to say about it, so i didn’t. the reason given was that there were often things in the vent channel that people might regret being there, so it was periodically archived and a fresh channel started.

so i’m rambling a lot about stuff that’s probably boring and inconsequential. that’s 90% of this whole vv thing, tho, you need to understand that.

the biggest thing that bothered me about mina, i think, came about from the constant hero worship from her adoring fans. and i know there’s a whole argument to be said about expecting labor from people with marginalized identities, which is an argument i agree with - don’t expect someone of a minority group to educate you or to face trauma or to shut down bigots, etc etc. but by now, mina had a lot of followers in general, and in specific, she had quite a few people who would defend her at every single perceived slight.

she made a lot of those fun writeblr reblog games, like “send me a fruit that says this about my writing.” those were cool, i’ll admit that. but she was super into “you have to send an ask to the person you reblog from, RECIPROCITY!!!!!!!!!!!” and seemed to struggle with the fact that sometimes, people don’t follow her established rules on her posts for these games. she’d complain about it every single time that happened in the vent channel, which, again, that’s fine? that’s what vents are for, it’s annoying to not get cool fun asks when you do these games, but also, that’s life for you. she could depend on her fans to send her plenty of asks, whereas the much smaller blogs who reblogged these games would probably get f-all, half the time. if you’ve gone through nuwuhorizons or one of the other blogs i mentioned earlier, you’ll have run across the incident where mina’s friends harrassed an 11 year old for not doing her ask game right.

an eleven year old.

and this is my biggest grief with mina. she only stopped her friends from dogpiling people... once? maybe twice? that i remember. and not only that, but there were SEVERAL occasions where she would get on the vent channel, complain about someone who had said something wrong on one of her posts (and sometimes, again, these were legitimate!), and then ask if someone in the server wanted to reply to them. reasons for such ranged from “i’m too busy rn” to “they would probably listen more to a white person than me.”

again. this, on occasion, is not necessarily a bad thing. we cannot expect labor and response from minorities. my issue was that she kept doing this. and sometimes it was fine, just someone who would drop a note on the post or send a polite anon. but this, to me, the whole asking someone else to fight your battles for you? that really bothered me. mina is a grown adult. either ignore it, like the rest of us chumps, or deal with it yourself. having friends support you is not a bad thing - if i was attacked on tumblr and my friends jumped in to defend me, i’m cool with that. but i wouldn’t ask them to, and then not do anything myself.

to me, this attitude just encourages dogpiling. this felt like she was taking advantage of the people admiring her so whole-heartedly, and using them to deal with minor grievances. (again, i don’t want to downplay some of the actual racism and xenophobia she experienced on this website, because there was some pretty sketchy stuff that did need someone else stepping in to object to. but then there was “ugh this person asked me what program i use to make my music and i don’t want to answer them bc that’s rude,” and stuff of that caliber. like, mina, you built yourself a pretty big following here on tumblr, you don’t get to complain when people are trying to ask you questions and engage with you when you set yourself up as a knowledgeable person on a subject.)

i’m going to mention @gingerly-writing because she already made a post on the subject, but there was an instance where we were in the vent channel and watched a lot of mina’s friends send anons and reblogs of a hurtful nature to one person. eventually, ginger stepped in to say “hey, i don’t think we need to keep doing this, they are a minor,” and after she did so, i also jumped in, saying something along the lines of, “yeah, i’ve seen this kind of stuff blow up in another server and end in a really regrettable situation where no one was happy, can we stop.” both ginger and i received a private message from the mods (individually) saying that we shouldn’t police the chat, etc etc. not during that message, but on the vent channel, another mod jumped in to say that the people dogpiling the blogger were also minors. as if that makes it okay, and isn’t actually extremely worrying in its own right.

after that, i pretty much took a stance of “all right then i just won’t say anything at all.” i stuck around vv because i hated myself actually really liked a few of the others in the server, including a couple of the mods who are actually really cool people, not all the vv mods are sketch, and because honestly? i lowkey knew that vv was going to crash and burn sometime, and i wanted to be there to watch what happened. due to the pandemic, and her line of work, mina became less active, and the whole server died down a bit.

then someone reblogged one of mina’s ‘art’ posts and accused her of tracing. mina’s admirers immediately jumped into action. nuwuhorizons has it pretty well documented on their blog. there was nothing in the server about it, except one of the others said “oh man i saw that and it pissed me off,” there was some minor chat, and then i woke up and wanted to know what had happened, and was told “don’t worry about it.”

so, naturally, bc the only thing i thirst for is water and Drama(TM), i went looking for it.

found it on some of mina’s friend’s blogs, where i found who had reblogged and said mina was tracing, and followed those reblog chains, where several of mina’s followers attacked the accuser and made fun of their name and age and defended mina, pulling out progress videos and stuff of mina’s work. the accuser was trans and still a teenager, even if technically an adult, so that made things a lot worse. mina eventually posted something explaining that she was pencil tracing and had a very cheery, false-positive tone to the whole thing.

things sorta ended at that, but then maybe the same day, or the day after, user hyba made that big ol post about the Big Scary Tumblr Mirror Website Copying All Your Good, Hard Work. mina and her friends jumped on this. they threw it in the server and talked about things like intellectual property rights and “i don’t like how this makes me feel :(” and from there, went in to how tumblr was a terrible garbage site and then mina and most of the mod team decided that it was time to pack up VV and leave tumblr completely.

pretty much everyone i know were mina’s besties have vanished off tumblr. mina made an announcement that VV was “migrating” off tumblr and discord(???) and dropped another application to join the great vv migration. i did not apply bc i just have too freaking much going on in my life and needed to get out of this for the sake of my own mental health. it was tempting as hell, tho, i will say that.

a couple things about this - at the time, mina is also having some pretty bad things going on in her family. she was very vague on the details, but i think that really contributed to wanting to leave; on top of the pandemic and everything else, she was probably heckin stressed. but also like. she never called out her followers for attacking her accuser. she never made any sort of post talking about it. she never told her friends on the server “hey don’t do that.” she never took accountability for it, or, honestly, for anything else she or her friends have done that didn’t feel too good. the mirror sites aren’t really a big deal.

after the server was archived, it was left up a couple days so everyone could grab contact info, etc. during this time, i was checking the ‘violetvineyard’ tag and saw someone post “what happened to mvcreates they haven’t answered my application to vv,’ and i responded with “oh, the server closed down bc of the copy cat sites.”

the same day, i got a tumblr DM from one of the former mods asking me not to give away any details about vv leaving tumblr. it was very politely worded and everything, but it was still just like

okay? vv is over? why are you asking me not to say anything. and it wasn’t like i was even spilling any hot goss, i was just repeating the excuse (and i do mean excuse) mina gave us.

anyway, that mod is off tumblr, too, as far as i know, or else they stealthin. which is fine, u do u, buddy.

uhh conclusion time, i guess? i have a few scattered screenshots of things, but i’m not posting em bc i’m lazy and also running late for a thing. but really, for me, i didn’t have a whole lot of beef with mina or pretty much any of the other folks on vv. i thought that mina and her friends were a bit too eager for blood, and that really bothered me. i’m annoyed they shut down vv completely, because it could actually have been something great. if mina wanted off writeblr, i wish she had given the whole network over to people interested in running it; instead, what was a good thing for a lot of people is now completely gone, with no existing framework for people to build on. sure, anyone can go make their own network/family for writeblr, but now it’s just going to splinter into a bunch of different, smaller groups, and we’re all back to square one.

but whatever. i didn’t get to see the server go down in flames, instead it just ended with a hasty retreat and a few whimpers, and quite honestly i wished my staying in had paid off.

i do want to reiterate - there were quite a few people in vv who i think are great, and this does include some of the mods themselves.

i’ve also gotten a couple messages from a few other folks who had been in vv who have their own real, real sketch stories, which are making me rethink how i feel about mina and her friends, and all the good credit i gave them. i just wanted to present this bc it’s my blog and i do what i want, fight me.

and if anyone wants to chat about vv, hit me up. i keep things as private as you want them to be, and i love love love talking about this nonsense. Give Me The Deets.

#violetvineyard #vv drama #long post #sorry not sorry #i just wanted to give a touch more balanced view on vv #i have a few other things i could talk about but none are really worth the effort

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causticsunshine · 3 years

Text

twenty questions

tagged by @are-you-quite-finished-giovanna thank you babe!! 🥰

1. why did you choose your url?

simply put i adore louis and i like purple and it just rolled off the tongue lol, but i also had a list of possible urls i also liked and i had to snatch this one up while i could!

2. any side blogs?

yes i have four....i'm not one of those 'everything goes on main and you can deal with it' type people.... but i have an inspiration blog @prickelndauge (art insp, lots of fashion, cool photography), an art-only blog @swmpwxtch, one just for spooky/creepy content because i'm really into horror manga and scary movies and that kind of stuff but i keep it off of main because i know a lot of it can often be triggering to others! (i also don't post much there but @bonepickng) and one for art references, life tips, random resources, and more donation sharing @am-ref!

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

soooo long i thought i'd be gone by now tbh. i know i signed up in 2011 after just browsing the site through random blogs and tags for ages, but i didn't start actively using my own account until early 2012!

4. do you have a queue tag?

when i actually remember to tag things i have queued i'll use 'i'm sleep queue' because all my early morning posts everyday are queued....i am an insomniac rip

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

keeping up with my interests better! i was like 15/16 at the time so it made sense. back in Ye Olde Days much like now—i really have come full circle lmao—it was mostly just for 1d and then some random tv shows/franchises i just to see content of semi-often, as well as finding cool art!

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

rn it's just a regular pic of louis! as much as i like using my collages or little edits as my icons, you can't see much of anything and it looks too busy sometimes (but also the photo i have rn....i am always thinking thoughts about it soooo)

7. why did you choose your header?

it's pretty! i wanted everything to follow a color scheme + i love embroidery and fancy gowns!

8. what's your post with the most notes?

ok i thought it was gonna be one of my old larry chibi doodles because i know a few of them hit 1k+ notes, but i deleted those in 2017 and apparently now it's this 6 year old like....funky photo study i did of dan howell from 2015 when i still watched him and amazingphil a lot?? i mean at least it's something i was once proud of lmao....there's a few art posts i have with semi decent notes that i pretend i Do Not See

9. how many mutuals do you have?

i think rn 40 something so not very many, although i unfollowed a lot of people i was moots with when i left my last fanbase so that's probably why 😬 i've been meaning to check out more HL/ot5 people though!! i love mutual interaction but i'm afraid of being annoying if i'm any degree of attentive

10. how many followers do you have?

overall i have almost 2.4k rn, but there's a decent amount that are totally inactive or at least don't interact with me so it feels like....a lot less lmao but since re-joining 1d i've already made up like all the people i lost when i left my other fanbase of almost three and more so thank you for actually liking my work and maybe me as well 🥺💗

11. how many ppl do you follow?

around 370 rn!

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

half of the stuff that comes out of my mouth is a shitpost fdngjkdf like my tags are bad enough lmao, no one needs to properly share the bs i have to say

13. how often do you use tumblr?

pretty regularly rn but there are times i'll go completely MIA depending on what i'm into/how busy i am!

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog?

in the past i have had some....issues with other people i've met on here but never directly had confrontation with them? most of the time that's happened i figure it's been one-sided though because i can get irritated with certain behavior really quickly—like i always say my heart is big and open but my bullshit tolerance is dangerously low—but when that's the case i'll just unfollow or block without saying anything?

although back in the day there was one instance (and seriously if anyone remembers this you deserve a medal because this shit was Ridiculous) where i kinda but not really called out another 1d fanartist who posted untagged noncon fanart they'd done of at least two of the boys, and then acted like it was no big deal (like. 1. those are irl people my dude and 2. untagged noncon art?? in front of my salad??) and their friends kept defending them for it and tried to come for me claiming i was a proponent of Purity Culture when i'm not and literally all i said in my post on it was that in my own opinion it was kinda fucked up to draw noncon art of real life people—not characters played by actors! but actual real people as themselves—in the first place, but if you felt the need to post highly triggering content like that the least you could do was tag it accordingly

but i think that was the last time properly so i guess times within this fanbase are still chaotic as ever just in a different way?

15. how do you feel about "you need to rb this" posts?

Annoyed™️ like don't guilt trip me over a post lmao i do what i want !!

16. do you like tag games?

YES i love to talk about myself after years of trying not to show any personality online out of fear of judgement dfjkngdf

17. do you like ask games?

yes! i want to do them more but i'm always afraid of reblogging one and then getting nothing and looking like a Fool :'(

18. which one of your mutuals is tumblr famous?

i guess i have a few moots that are kinda well-known or at least get good interaction within the community we're a part of? also isn't that phrase kind of an oxymoron at this point adfjkdf

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

not past platonic friendly affection lmao but honestly what is it like to have a realistic crush on an actual tangible person versus someone in the public eye who doesn't even know i exist.....it's been so long and i am so lonely please send help

20. tags?

@niallnailme @bolitodequeso @milkcurls @exzouis @ialwaysknewyouwerepunk @got-my-devotion @aliensyndrome uhhh anyone who'd like to please consider yourself tagged by me! literally if there was an 'all my moots' button i'd just pick that lmao and as always no pressure/sorry if you've already done this and i haven't seen!

#twenty questions tag #tagged #oh geez that's me

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purplesurveys · 4 years

Text

1044

survey by a7xbabii

Do you use e-mail often? I use it for eight hours, five days a week for work, so yes.

Do you hear any animals right now? I’m in a Starbucks inside a mall situated in the middle of a busy highway. It would be very unlikely to hear any animals right now.

Are you in a well-lit room? Sure, I’d say this establishment has good lighting. There’s no light directly above me unlike the other seats, but it’s okay in this case as I don’t want other people seeing me take surveys.

Is your trashcan full? The main one we use at home just got full, so the last time I checked this morning my mom was airing it out.

What was the last crunchy thing you consumed? My chicken barbecue sandwich from last night.

Did you view anything disturbing today? Hmm, I guess so? I wanted to entirely redo one part of my embroidery piece since I wasn’t happy with how I did it, so I had to remove the threads and stuff. When they were all gone the template was filled with holes and it looked like one of those trypophobia photos. I’m not personally disturbed by that phenomenon, but I know a lot of people are.

Are there any holiday decorations in your house? Yeah, we’ve had our Christmas tree up since the beginning of November. We also usually put a wreath up our door but idk why my mom didn’t this year.

When was the last time you had a terrible headache? Last night, because I had not eaten all day.

Have you recently put lotion on your hands? No. I don’t like the feeling of lotion, so I don’t apply it on me a lot, if at all.

Are you hungry? Not so much, actually. I don’t feel too hungry today; I didn’t even finish my breakfast and that’s the only meal I’ve had so far today, and it’s already 4 PM.

Is it rainy where you're at right now? No, it’s quite fair. The sun’s not too strong anymore because of the time, but it’s still very much bright out.

Do you carry a purse? If so, describe what it looks like. I take a wallet with me. It’s pink, made of fake leather, has three main slots inside, and it also has some tiny bite marks on the outer edges from when Cooper was a lot younger.

Is your cell phone on vibrate? For certain notifications only, like texts and Viber.

Is your dishwasher full? We don’t use a dishwasher.

When is the last time you saw someone you like/love. Around a week and a half ago.

Do you like to wear gloves? No, I find them too itchy and I don’t need to wear them anyway.

Is there a body of water near where you live? There’s a creek that passes through my village near the clubhouse area, if that counts.

What are your thoughts on Avenged Sevenfold? No opinion. I never listened to them; though I am reminded of this one mutual I used to have on Tumblr/Twitter. She used to be a wrestling fan and was a part of our main circle, but she gradually shifted her main fandom to Avenged Sevenfold. By the time she cemented her new interest she then went on a huge unfollowing spree of wrestling fans on her feed and she apparently PM’d each person she intended to unfollow, including me. I remember her explaining that she was now in a different fandom and was gonna have to stop following me which I found...kinda extra to be honest lmao because nobody does that, but I appreciate the effort to approach each one of us, I guess.

Are you wearing anything pink right now? Nope, but my wallet is pink and so is my keyboard cover.

Do you like to swim in the ocean? I prefer beaches, but sure.

What is the creepiest bug you've ever saw? Cockroaches.

Do you currently have split ends? I don’t think so.

When is the last time you used the bathroom? Around five hours ago when I took a shower before heading out.

Do you chew on your lip? Almost never.

Are you afraid of needles? For the most part yeah, especially syringes. I’m not afraid of them when I do my embroidery, but that’s the only time I feel comfortable with a needle.

What is the last thing you lost? A pen, I think.

When is the last time you saw a bald person? Five hours ago, when I said bye to my dad.

What car were you last in? [continued from two days ago] My own. I was driving home from the mall.

Do you like Batman? I tried to get into Batman and the whole shebang of comic books when I was a teenager, but I just couldn’t.

Have you ever played tennis? Never have, actually. I’ve always wanted to try.

Can you see a star shape in the room you are in? Probably not in my bedroom.

What are you sitting on? A pillow I’ve placed on my work chair so that it’s more comfortable. My parents got me a basic chair initially meant just for my internship, so it’s not the comfiest of chairs haha. But now that I have a job, a more suitable work chair is probably one of things I’ll have to invest on.

What is the last warm thing you touched? My chest felt itchy just a few seconds ago, so I was able to feel my skin scratching it.

Do you use hand sanitizer? That’s kind of a necessity now, so...

Where do you want to go in life? [continued from...I don’t even remember anymore] I don’t know if I even plan to make it past 30 at this point. I can’t answer this right now.

Are you sweating? No, I’ve been in air-conditioned rooms all day and it feels so damn good.

When is the last time you had to scratch an itch? A few minutes ago when my neck itched.

Are you in any kind of club or group that is trying to save animals? No, but I very much support the cause.

Who is the last blonde you saw? At work today I saw someone who had her hair dyed blonde.

Where were you two hours after you got up, and what were you doing there? I needed to go to the office today because my team and I needed to pack some stuff to seed to certain media. It was the first time I got to visit the place and it was sooooooo homey and pretty :) I wish we can be allowed to work in the office soon; it would be best for my mental health at this point.

Do you wish for world peace? Um, of course.

Have you ever played fetch with a dog? We were able to teach Cooper how to pick up items that we throw but he’s still slowly learning that he actually has to give it back to us, haha.

What is the nearest object that is wood? The table I am typing on is made of wood.

Do you use Netflix? Yes, we have a family subscription.

Does your house have a fireplace? No, we don’t. And I can confidently tell you all other houses in this entire country, and probably the whole of Southeast Asia, don’t.

Do you wake yourself up in the morning, or does someone else? I wake myself up. On important days, I’ll put an alarm on.

What kind of hoodie did you last wear? It was a white hoodie with a UP seal on the left side.

Do you play games on your computer? No, my laptop isn’t equipped for games. I tried downloading Sims 4 when they made it free for a few weeks back in 2018, but my laptop’s fan started whirring like crazy and the battery got drained super fast. The entire period of me booting it up and then deleting it took like, a literal 15 minutes.

What is the last video game that you played? Mario Kart 8 on the Switch. I want to get myself Switch games as gifts, but I’m just so stingy towards myself hahaha.

Have you ever pet a stingray? I’m 50% would like to at least once and 50% I know of what it did to Steve Irwin, and I’m not messing with them.

If you were on vacation, would you ever go to Ireland? It’s not a big item on my bucket list, honestly. I’d love to go to Ireland, but it would probably be a part of a bigger itinerary, like if I decided to take a trip to that part of Europe.

Are you logged into Myspace right now? I haven’t been on there for more than a decade.

Did you have anything bad happen to you today? Yeah, but they’re stuff that happened at work that are a little hard to explain.

Have you ever been to New York? Nope. I’d love to take a trip there.

Do you use the term "lol" if you don't have anything to say? Not really. I use it in the end of my messages more so that I don’t sound mean.

Should you be sleeping right now instead of taking this survey? Hell no. It’s a Friday night so the last thing I want to be doing is sleeping.

Can you truly say you hate anyone? I don’t think so. I greatly dislike my brother, but I guess I don’t hate him. I find it too strong a word.

Have you ever disected a baby pig in a class at school? Not a piglet, no. We dissected an earthworm, a fish, and eventually a frog.

What brand of dish liquid do you use? A local brand you wouldn’t recognize.

When is the last time you ate a Hershey Kiss? It’s probably been more than a year. It’s not my favorite candy.

Do you ever feel unappreciated? Yes.

Do you currently have any blemishes on your face? No. My pimple finally went away, hallelujah.

Who is the last baby you held? My cousin who is now 13 years old. I’m too anxious to hold babies; I always feel like I’d drop them so I find myself declining even when I have the chance to hold one.

Are you a lover? I guess.

Do you use smileys often in text convos? Yes. Not a lot of people like them but it’s better to sound friendly and approachable than stoic.

Do you have the Google toolbar on your computer? Like...Chrome? I have the program, yeah. It’s my default browser as well.

Do you like Sunkist? I’ve never had it.

Would you ever consider being a cannibal? I mean...I guess only if I was in a life-and-death situation, like if a plane I was in crashed on an island and I was starting to get hungry. I certainly don’t fantasize about cannibalism on any regular day.

Did you forget something important in the past week? I made a few mistakes at work due to me forgetting things, yeah.

Do you like learning new things? Sure.

What color is your toothpaste? White.

Are the floors in your house creaky? Nopes. I don’t think our doors are creaky-level just yet as well.

Do you fear death? I hate the uncertainty of what happens while it’s taking place, and what happens after. But I’ve been wishing for it for a while as well. There’s a difference.

Is your mouth dry? Not right now, no.

Do yoou have any scars from an animal? Yeah I’ve got a few marks and scratches from Cooper. I never run out of them, really.

Did you have fun with this survey? It was okay.

Was it random enough? Sure.

#survey #surveys

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senlinyu · 4 years

Note

Thank you so much for sharing all that you have about the writing process! How important is promotion of your work across different platforms? Is it important at all?

Sorry. I’ve been sitting on this ask for a while... but we were just having a discussion on the Dramione Fanfiction Server about promotion and I realised I should get to writing all this out.

This is sort of a follow up on my post about doing weekly updates and writing my fics in full prior to publishing them. Find it here.

Caveat, these are my personal observations only. I’ve been involved in the fandom for a little over 2 years, and at least tried most of the fandom platforms to some extent and followed a lot of discussions among writers and readers.

This is basically a rundown of things that I wish someone had told me about promotion when I started. It’s also an info dump, I’m sorry. You don’t need to do all these things, or any of these things. But if you’re trying to figure stuff out, this is what I’ve noticed. A lot of this is based on my experiences and the experiences I’ve heard from other writers.

Publishing

• The first step you’ll take in promotion is publishing your fic: The most active platforms for fic are archiveofourown.org (Ao3) and fanfiction.net (FFN). There’s also wattpad, but my experience there is limited, so I won’t comment on it. Older fandoms are still hanging out on FFN, but a lot of people are finally migrating to Ao3.

I cross-post most of my fic, with the exception of very sexually explicit content. FFN hasn’t enforced their content restrictions in years, but they have cracked down in the past and deleted fic without warning, and if you’re reported and they decide you violate their terms it’s extremely difficult to dispute based on everything I’ve heard from fandom olds.

Title: It’s ideal to find a title that doesn’t already have seventy fics attached to it for your fandom/ship. But there are a finite number of titles, this may not always work. However, if there’s a super popular fic already with that title, it may be advisable to choose something else because people will get confused about which fic it is and the other fic will tend to show up first in a google search.

If you choose a long title (more than five words), or a title with multiple words in a foreign language, people will have a harder time remembering it. One of my favorite fics has a long Latin quote for its title that isn’t a super common phrase. I cannot ever remember except that it starts with an ”a.” I have to refind it every time I want to rec it by googling one of the author’s other fics and then sorting through her listed works. Avoid this if possible.

Summary: Don’t say things like “story’s better. I suck at summaries.” If you can’t figure out what to put in the summary, put in an excerpt that you feel captures the tone and spirit of the story.

Smut sells. On ao3, a not overly-explicit excerpt of a scene will often garner more hits than anything else. Although I wouldn't promote a fic in that manner if there’s actually minimal smut in the story.

Rating: On FFN it’s unfortunately better to be safe than sorry. People will sometimes complain if T rated fics even allude to the existence of sex. But M ratings will create the expection of some level of smut. If you’re writing a M rated fic without sexual content, it can be a good idea to have an author’s note at the very beginning explaining what the rating is and isn’t for. (Many people never ever read author’s notes, but at least then it’s not on you anymore.)

Tagging: On Ao3, good tagging can make or break a fic. The balance is between under-tagging and over-tagging. Dramione is relatively chill about tags because a lot of readers are from FFN where there are no tags. However, newer readers, especially those coming over from other fandoms, can be very particular about tagging and complain in the comments if your tagging it insufficient or misleading.

Fandom etiquette dictates: use the archive warnings and always tag triggers. Even if it’s a plot twist. People who really care about not having plot elements spoiled can hide additional tags from their browsing. The main archive warnings are: graphic violence, character death, rape, underage. If you include any of those things without an archive warning or tags, people will not be inclined to trust you.

I know that’s not how published books are, but it’s a question of which hills you want to die on. I strongly discourage dying on this hill when you’re first starting out.

Additional tags. There’s a very tricky balance between over-tagging and under-tagging. People don’t like tag walls, but they do want some information. Tag the story’s main tropes: enemies to lovers, mutual pining, miscommunication, coworkers, Veela, etc. Tag the triggers. (A word of advice, if you’re writing a fic with rape/non-con that occurs but isn’t committed between the main pairing, specify that in your tags, e.g. ‘attempted sexual assault, not by Draco’ ) Tag kinks, especially if they’re not garden variety. Very, very few readers are going to be pleased to have a kink sprung on them, one person’s kink can be another person’s squick. People who want your fic may not find it if you haven’t tagged it, and people who don’t want that kink will not be pleased about tripping on it.

Don’t over-tag. If “explicit sexual content” is tagged, most people will assume the general explicit sex spectrum. Unless there’s a particularly heavy focus there’s no need to list every single basic aspect of sex in your tags: “vaginal sex, vaginal penetration, fingering, humping, groping, oral sex, breast worship, etc etc”. Nor should you tag every single character or subpairing who happens to appear unless they’re a significant element of the plot.

Promotion on other platforms:

Dramione and HP is an older fandom. The Hermione-centric parts of fandom are primarily here on Tumblr and on Facebook in the form of private groups, some that are ship specific and others that are slightly more general. Reddit is fairly inactive for dramione, and the HP subreddit is not particularly fond of dramione.

Dramione is beginning to establish itself on discord, but it's still a gradual process.

Some writers join the FB groups with their IRL accounts, but its a growing trend to create fandom pseuds for FB groups, which is what I do. Some Facebook groups require that new members privately provide the admins with a form of ID for age/identity verification. Whether or not you're comfortable/willing to out your pseud in that way is a matter of personal discretion.

Most groups do not require this... but it’s something to be aware of.

Tumblr: Posting about story updates on Tumblr is one the the best things to do for promotion beyond the basics of posting your fic. Since it’s a public platform unlike FB, it’s one of the most visible ways to boost your story and let people know about updates.

Cover art/aesthetics for your fic are a great way to catch attention. If you’re like me and very bad at making aesthetics and covers the @dark-arts-society-fbhp is a group specializing in covers and manips. If you’re not a member on FB, the admins say that writers can submit requests via the tumblr asks and they will be shared to the group. Send them:

Title:

Penname:

Characters/ships:

Tone:

Fancasts:

Other info:

Tumblr

Post a fic update on tumblr with cover art, links, and an excerpt of the chapter. Personally the fics that catch my attention have excerpts that are at least a couple paragraphs long.

You want to include enough content to pique reader curiosity and demonstrate your writing style. It makes you less an unknown to readers looking for something new. Every update is an opportunity to catch the attention of new readers and each new excerpt can do that.

A couple don’ts:

Don’t just keep reblogging the same post, adding a link to the latest chapter. Reblogs don’t show up in the tumblr tags. Make a new post for each chapter update and use the fandom tags every time. The first five tags you use are what can show up in tags, everything after the first five should just be for your tumblr’s personal organization.

Do not include triggering content in your excerpt. It’s rude and a way to get unfollowed or blocked.

Don’t use too many links on your update posts. If there are too many links, tumblr won’t have the post to show up in the tags. I’m not sure what the cut-off is because tumblr is an illogical beast. 2-3 links seems to be fine. Link to FFN and AO3 and nothing else.

Don’t use your tumblr solely as a personal house organ. If no one is interacting with your posts, tumblr is less likely to decide you’re a real blog and let your posts show up in the tags. Connect to other fandom blogs by reblogging and liking their content. I generally don't follow tumblrs that blog solely about their own content, because I'd just subscribe to the story or the writer. Reblog art, reblog aesthetics, reblog fandom memes, reblog drabbles, reblog updates from fics you’re following, etc.

However, even if you do all that, tumblr’s algorithm is a mysterious and illogical creature. Sometimes posts need to have a certain number of likes and reblogs to show up in the “Dramione” tag, although the algorithm is inconsistent there are many exceptions, but as a general rule this seems to be the case.

In my most recent Dramione update post, the post in question never showed up in the recent ”Dramione” tags, despite fairly high engagement. I have no idea why. That’s all the more reason to create a new post for every update, because tumblr will just randomly screw you over at times. 😑

If you write dramione, one of the best forms of exposure is by getting your fic updates reblogged by @dramioneasks, they have a very large following on Tumblr, and regularly go through recent posts under the dramione tag and reblog the story updates that show up there. A lot of writers have noticed a dramatic difference in engagement if their updates get reblogged by DramioneAsks.

Another way to promote your writing more generally is by accepting prompts and/or posting ficlets solely on Tumblr. Those will usually get more reblogs and likes than a story update will. In my observation, ficlets tend to do best when they’re between .5k to 2k words (longer than that and people will complain about huge walls of text in their feed.) DramioneAsks will also reblog those.

Facebook

The other main platform for the Dramione fandom is FB. It’s the place that a lot of the fests and comps are hosted and where a lot of writers will begin forming some fandom relationships. People will post recs for stories they like, and ask for recs with certain tropes, etc. You can also post story updates there.

However, it’s also a lot of individual ponds because the groups are all closed, and there’s only partial overlap between them in terms of membership. Different groups have different cultures and fic preferences and you only tend to start figuring them out after being there for a while.

They also all have different rules and policies about things, such as requiring members to provide identifying information to mods, file-sharing, fic update promotion etc. So you have to make sure you check the rules and keep track of which group requires what.

But it’s very active and the place where you’ll encounter more discussions of fics, start getting to know people more, and have more one on one interactions. It’s best to start in just one or two and then slowly branch out from there if you choose. I’d recommend starting in groups specific to your ship, or if you write rare-pairs, to join rare-pair oriented groups.

I’m currently a member of more than 25 groups, but I’m active in less than five of them.

Conclusion

Again, this is not intended to be a to-do list. You don’t need to do all of this, or any of it. It’s more a rundown of different elements and factors that can make a difference in my experience and observations.

The thing with fic promotion is that fics sometimes have a tipping point. My fic Manacled crept along with limited engagement for a long time (like more than 30 chapters) and then hit a point where I got a bunch of people who started it leaving comments saying “I’ve seen the updates for this so many times, I finally decide to click,” or “I started this but didn’t think it was for me, but then I saw some of the excerpts for later chapters and they made me curious so I jumped back in again.”

There are some readers who will check out everything regardless of stats, but particularly in Dramione where you have a lot of fics and authors, people are less likely to click every fic they see. You can build recognition through engagement with fandom and visibility.

My very first work-in-progress multichap got a lot more attention after I posted a one-shot that allowed readers to check out my writing in a “lower commitment” context. It wasn’t even a very popular one-shot, but it gave people a chance to read a completed work of mine without requiring the investment that a 90k word WIP did. Once they decided they liked my writing style and characterizations they decided to check out my other works.

Anyway. This ended up incredibly long. 🤦🏻‍♀️

If you read this and have a different opinion or feel like I’ve left anything out, feel free to chime in. Or if you disagree. I am happy to reblog additional and differing perspectives as long as the tone stays civil. 😊

#on writing #fic promo #fandom #dramione #senlinyuspeaks #asks

167 notes · View notes

couldbeasong · 4 years

Note

1-60 for the ask meme

Ope sorry I did not see this until today. I think I know the one? If it’s not the one you meant just lmk lol

1. Selfie?

You can have this picrew but I wish to be unperceived.

2. What would you name your future kids?

For female names I like: Harmony, Slyvia, Edelweiss, Bethany, and Opal

For male names I like: Uriah, Aiden, Kai, Levi, and Luke

3. Do you miss anyone?

My grandpa and Midnight (old dog)

4. What are you looking forward to?

Going on vacation in a few weeks, the end of the semester, and seeing @calligraphywitch tomorrow

5. Is there anyone who can always make you smile?

@calligraphywitch and my other girlfriend. They’re hilarious lmao

6. Is it hard for you to get over someone?

Romantically? Not really. You kinda gotta just accept it and move on. In the past, always being like: this will never work because of reason xyz helps.

Friendship wise? Absolutely. It depends a lot on the emotional investment I put into the relationship, but I find myself still missing people I haven’t talked to since High School or Middle School.

7. What was your life like last year?

It was weird being a freshman in college and trying to survive. I had a lot of family problems going on along with one of my best friends from High School being on her death bed for a while. A bit of a crisis of faith as well. But we survived, God willing! I miss pre-pandemic times tho

8. Have you ever cried because you were so annoyed?

Ask my brother. I’m sure there’s been an instance.

9. Who did you last see in person?

My grandma across the room from me!

10. Are you good at hiding your feelings?

I hide them so well I can’t even find them!

I like to pretend they aren’t there and repress them a lot but idk if I’m good at hiding them from others per say.

11. Are you listening to music right now?

I’m in a zoom meeting for class, so I guess my professor's voice?

12. What is something you want right now?

Freedom

13. How do you feel right now?

Kinda tired, kinda nauseous, kinda bored. Idk I probably need to drink some water.

14. When was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you?

Uhhhh idk about a week ago? My last hug was probably a week ago too XD

15. Personality description

I like to think I’m funny

16. Have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t?

I work in customer service- everyday (:

17. Opinion on insecurities.

Everyone is insecure about something. It’s kinda fascinating how even though all of humanity is exactly the same (in terms of our struggles and insecurities, we don’t vary) we still judge others for having them. Confidence is seen as a virtue and the most attainable goal. Society profits off of your insecurities tho so be aware of what they are and don’t let yourself be scammed.

18. Do you miss how things were a year ago?

Certain aspects perhaps. But 2019 is gone. It performed and then it left. It can’t hurt us or help us anymore. There’s little use in dwelling on that and wishing for 2020 to be 2019.

19. Have you ever been to New York?

No, but I swear Ima go one day and see a show on Broadway.

20. What is your favorite song at the moment?

I have like three I’m cycling between rn

When You’re Home from In the Heights

Wake Up by Jenny Owen Youngs

Together by For King and Country

21. Age and birthday?

Old enough to know better and October

22. Description of crush.

He’s super great and super intelligent, not to mention super in love with God. Frankly, he deserves better than me. I gotta lot of self-improvement that needs to happen, but we’ll see what happens XD

23. Fear(s)

Heights, drowning, spiders, super dark streets and rooms, not being good enough

24. Height

5′5″ respectfully

25. Role model

It’s changed through the various stages of my life. Rn tho a few of my Christian online friends

26. Idol(s)

I mean I stan Brian David Gilbert, but I don’t idolize him lol

27. Things I hate

Cheesecake, sickly sweet stuff, when someone grabs the receipt out of the printer even though it’s way more effort for them to do so than for me just to hand it to them and it throws me off of my rhythm, fudge

28. I’ll love you if…

You exist (and even not then because fictional characters just hit different lol)

29. Favorite film(s)

Tangled, Ella Enchanted, Enchanted, Howls Moving Castle, Princess, and the Pauper

30. Favorite tv show(s)

Brooklynn 99, Parks and Recreation, Ouran High School Host Club, My Hero Academia, and Bojack Horseman (I’m going through a phase with it rn lol)

31. 3 random facts

Blue is my favorite color, I own almost nothing in blue, people are better at identifying members of their own race better than members of other races.

32. Are your friends mainly girls or guys?

Girls- they’re easier to talk to and approach. Tho I stan and love my guy friends. They are kings.

33. Something you want to learn

Everything? Idk I have an insatiable desire to learn and it switches. Consistently, I want to learn how to make my own clothes, play either piano, guitar, or violin, and detail cars.

34. Most embarrassing moment

Uggg I’m not talking about it and neither is @calligraphywitch

35. Favorite subject

I really enjoyed Statistics as much as I have hated it. My all-time favorite class I have ever taken tho was AP US Literature

36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill?

Graduate grad school, get married, travel overseas

37. Favorite actor/actress

uhhh probably Chris Pratt or anyone who was on Parks and Recreation. Tho Broadway actors, I love Christian Borle

38. Favorite comedian(s)

John Mulaney

39. Favorite sport(s)

I miss playing softball and volleyball so prolly those

40. Favorite memory

There are too many to count. But usually, involve good conversations under the stars after 2 AM.

41. Relationship status

Have a picrew of my sister and me. Keep scrolling and mind ya business (jk ily anon)

42. Favorite book(s)

The Bible lol but fictional book wise, I will always love the Warrior Cats series. Red Queen was pretty lit. The Hourglass Door gave me a love for time travel aus lol. And Library Wars is near and dear to my heart.

43. Favorite song ever

You can’t ask me thisssss

Idk Hope is what we crave by For King and Country

44. Age you get mistaken for

24-30 it depends on the context

45. How you found out about your idol

@calligraphywitch

46. What my last text message says

No xD not disney

47. Turn-ons

When you have a musical playing and the end of one song is the start of another so they bleed into each other. CHILLS or when a line of poetry just expresses how someone feels. OR when different parts harmonize just right

48. Turn-offs

When my computer deletes my homework right before it’s done

49. Where I want to be right now

In a little cabin in the woods

50. Favorite picture of your idol

51. Starsign

Scorpio

52. Something I’m talented at

Reading peoples emotions

53. 5 things that make me happy

Music, Friends, Deep Conversations, Hugs, and God

54. Something that's worrying me at the moment

So much to do so much to see

55. Tumblr friends

Friends and mutuals include:

@calligraphywitch @an-assortment-of-forks @repentance-brings-healing @synthetic-blanket-hairs @loneallegiance @boywiththewand @knightof-cups @a-lil-strawberry @linkedwolf @indygo @obnoxioushair

There’s plenty more than that and I love you all ^^

56. Favorite food(s)

Tacos, Crab Ragoons, Salty Foods, RICE

57. Favorite animal(s)

Wolves and cats

58. Description of my best friend

Artistic, beautiful, supportive, hardworking. She is hilarious and an amazing person. There’s so much to the many reasons I love her I just can’t do it in words

59. Why I joined tumblr

Back in the 7th grade, my friends all had one and helped set me up with one. And that’s that.

60. Ask me anything you want

You want nothing ig lol if you want to submit one I can answer it still

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arethereanyoriginalusernames · 3 years

Text

I’m sorry

I’m sorry to my followers, my mutuals, and most of all, to put I call friends. I’m so, so sorry

I know at least one person’s going to want to reblog this, saying that I’m not a shitty person. Well, this post is for you I guess. I hate just being here, trying to convince myself and others that I’m a good person, but really I’m not. I’ve ruined potential friendships and actual friendships over and over again. All because I want people to validate me, because I want people to pay attention to me, because I think that what I think needs to be shared with everyone.

I’ve wasted people’s energy, time, and I think I might have ruined at least one person’s offline life because I thought I could help them when I had no place to do so.

If for whatever reason you don’t think I’m awful after this, well I guess I can’t stop you. But I hope that this might finally get people to recognize that I’m not someone worth supporting. Enjoy my content if you want, but don’t pretend that I am, by myself, an enjoyable person.

1. My “contribution” to the Zoophobia fandom

You know, there’s nothing on my blog that I’m more ashamed of than my Zoophobia critiques? Back when I first started on tumblr, my pretentious ass thought that I was going to be super special and become “a zp critic who didn’t hate Vivziepop and enjoyed her content”.

Yes, I was that up my own ass.

At the time, the only zp critics I knew of were the ones on the bad wiki forums and the late Zoophobia Critiques account. Which, for the record, I still agree that a lot of the criticism gave there was super spiteful and overblown. I gave the excuse that we could learn how to improve our own writing by analyzing works we love when I was criticizing a 4 and a half chapter webcomic the creator wasn’t proud of.

You know, I’m at a loss for how nobody has called my critiques out for being misinformed, disorganized, poorly spelt, and like someone who just heard of writing criticism and was parroting stuff they heard on a YouTube video. My criticism of how Addison’s ptsd was handled was disgusting, and my criticism of Jack was vague and was clearly a reach.

And my non critical Zoophobia content wasn’t even that good. I made a bunch of nothing posts that only discussed a couple or one character ever, and they were so stupid.

Then there’s how I acted during the pre Hazbin Hotel Vivziepop drama. You know, where I acted like a deluded three year old? Voicing “my concerns”, and totally not babbling a bunch of nonsense and pushing it onto others. I remember how one former mutual of mine, Lisaury, rightfully “burst my bubble” (that’s how they put it) by pointing out my flawed information.

I honestly don’t blame Lisaury for never talking to me again. God, I barely spoke to her to begin with. Just sent her worthless post after worthless post.

My “criticisms” of Vivziepop were idiotic at best, and now? Zoophobia and criticism of it may have resurfaced thanks to Bad Luck Jack, but this only made me realize how nothing my posts were.

Other critics would just call me a wishy washy sheep, and fans would rightfully see me as an idiot if I posted now what I posted then. Ever since the short, I’ve been fearful of someone finally pointing out my bullshit, making it clear to everyone how awful my content was. And I feared it because I knew it was true. I just didn’t want other people to realize it.

Fuck, you’d at least expect someone to notice how much of a dickhead I was when critiquing people’s fanfics.

2. Art / characters

In 2020, someone invited me to join an art discord, and I created an account to do so. This discord had actual artists, many who had been to art school. So when my self taught, delusional self posted art into a criticism channel, they rightfully tore it to shreds. Called it out for the lacklustre, mediocre anime garbage it was. Gave me advice, and pointed out exactly what was wrong with it. One person made a very accurate description of it. “It looks like something someone drew on those shitty phone apps without a pencil”. And they were right.

And how did I react?

I had a meltdown, deleted a bunch of my art and posts, ran crying to a bunch of people, desperate for validation, because I, someone who made criticism posts, couldn’t handle actual criticism. And the same group rightfully called me out on it. I lost the log in info for my first account, so I don’t interact with that group anymore, but I should have listened. They rightfully pointed out how all my male characters looked like traps and how my art lacked any artistic skill. And what did I do? I screenshoted what they said and showed it to others, like “omg, pity me!”

I can’t look at my old art without wanting to vomit. I still can’t understand how anyone can enjoy what I make, despite people telling me that they do. Especially when they make better art than I ever could.

And despite how shit it looks, I just shove art and all posts I make in people’s face, because they “have to look at it and pay attention to it”

3. Such a great “friend”

I don’t have conversations with people anymore. The majority of my Tumblr conversations are filled with me sending post after post after post, weeks with just my fucking stupid posts, because they totally matter so much. I barely have any conversations with anyone anymore, and I don’t even return the favour of reblogging their content. Because after all, I need my friends with bigger follow counts to reblog my stuff. That’s the only way my posts get attention and I get validation, after all. Seriously, look at posts reblogged by eclecticcoyote, and compare the notes there to those he doesn’t.

If I didn’t constantly send people like him posts, expecting a reblog, I probably wouldn’t have followers. I know my content wouldn’t get any attention without his help, and I feel disgusting because it just feels like I’m taking advantage of someone’s audience.

Although it’s probably better I don’t talk to people whatsoever. One friend I have... well had, I don’t expect him to contact me ever again. I’ll refer to him as B for now. B was dealing with issues related to his mental health and offline life. I initially reached out to him after he made a post about having no friends

And then I didn’t message him for a while and was surprised when he told coyote that he felt like I didn’t care about him.

I started crying at him like “I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry” (no I’m not kidding). I ended up talking with him through several emotional break downs, because I didn’t want him to kill himself. I had the nerve to talk like I knew what I was talking about during those times. I gave unhelpful advice, like “go for a run”, “punch a pillow”, etc. Hell, one time, I had the audacity to say that it felt impossible to talk to him because it didn’t seem like he wanted to listen to people trying to help him, and that he only heard what he wanted to hear.

And I shoved my personal issues onto him as well. Because, again, my life is so important.

Then, at some point he developed feelings for me. I don’t feel the same way about him. And at this point, he sees me as one of the people who have helped him out the most with his issues (ironic, considering how I likely just made his life worse). So, what did I do when he confessed to me?

Oh, you know, instead of being mature and responsible, I panicked, got another friend involved because “I don’t know how to deal with this 😭😭😭”, made B upset and depressed all over again, and I basically got someone else involved in what was a personal moment for him, betraying his trust and throwing privacy out the window.

I tried to apologize the next morning, but it was too late. I honestly hope he doesn’t try to contact me again, and realize that I have, and can only make his life worse.

I constantly keep freezing out friendships on here by not actually talking to people and just sending them post after post. Recently, one person who reached out to me and tried to be my friend? Looking at past conversations with her, I come off as disinterested in her and dismissive. I might not have intended to, but...

Oh, and then Coyote invited me to his discord server. I recently started deleting all my posts on there, so that nobody would have to waste time scrolling through my bullshit. I shit you not, I would go on essay long tangents about my characters and art, while, comparatively, the attention I gave to others’ content was close to none. And in the first couple months there? I still tried to help people when I clearly couldn’t.

For fucks sake, I even dragged people there into my own personal irl drama when they didn’t need it. The night I self harmed in front of my parents, I should have kept it to myself because I. Knew. That people there would become distressed by it. But nope, because my problems are so important.

I would say dumb shit that ended up upsetting people, I would post over people, and overall just act like a self entitled, annoying bitch.

Just yesterday? Someone I considered my friend shared an image of some characters of hers that were in a polyamourous relationship. And what did my dumbass do?

“You know, I find people in poly relationships admirable bc I have trouble hanging out with more than one person irl bc lol social anxiety and lalala, lemme make this all about meee~!”

And then someone replied saying that they don’t understand poly relationships but support them, then I’m pretty sure the who posted the picture got uncomfortable at that point.

And wouldn’t you know it, recently that person announced that they were taking a break, which hey fine, and they mentioned that some of the stuff said on the discord was upsetting them.

Gee, I wonder who contributed to that?

And then there’s my constant validation seeking, me being silly during situations where the person needs me to be serious, my overall inability to respond in a way someone should whenever people don’t enjoy things I suggest or share...

Look, maybe I’m overreacting and being stupid. Wouldn’t surprise me. I currently have no friends outside of discord and tumblr, and I’m constantly disappointing my family and everyone around me by always failing at everything no matter what.

I just don’t know what to do with myself anymore. I don’t even know if this is just me attempting to get validation or what.

I just... can’t do anything. I can’t trust myself to do anything. If someone requests that I do something, then fine I guess, but

I don’t want to hurt anyone else

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renaerys · 4 years

Text

All right Anon. Since my blog was hacked and I had to delete and remake it, I know I lost some Tumblr-exclusive posts from back in ye olde Naruto heydays. Here’s a TobiIzu prompt I did for my friend Nicole called “Eclipse” that I managed to dig up in my Google Drive. It is 2013 quality (i.e., without the benefit of 7 years’ additional experience, so I’m sorry about that), but this is how it appeared as originally posted. Hopefully this is what you were looking for! :)

Eclipse (TobiIzu)

Generations later they would talk about Senju Hashirama and Uchiha Madara, the eternal rivals and fiercest of friends who created a kingdom and nearly destroyed it with their own hands. They would talk about Uzumaki Mito and how she saved them from themselves for as long as a person can be saved, going so far as to seal Hashirama’s love and Madara’s hatred within herself. But the sun and the moon have shadows even if no one can see them beyond the blinding light.

Senju Tobirama did not always hate the Uchiha. Some he even grew to depend upon. Every yin needs a yang.

“Suiton: Suishouha!”

At seven years old, Tobirama was well on his way to achieving notoriety as an heir to the illustrious Senju clan. His prowess with water techniques was unheard of at his age, and his father was more than happy to reap that advantage in any way possible. In a world where a mother’s protests fall upon deaf ears, Tobirama became more comfortable with the wails of his dying enemies than the sweet songs his mother used to sing at night as he fell asleep.

“Hhhnnngg!”

Strangled cries of those unlucky enough to be swept away with the deluge gurgled, unintelligible, as water filled lungs and doused fires. Tobirama drew his short sword and followed the path of his technique, searching for any Uchiha that had survived the flood. What he did not expect to find was one unharmed and charging straight for him.

“Damn you!”

The clang of steel made his ears ring as a young Uchiha soldier slammed into him with all the might in his small body. Twin daggers sparked against Tobirama’s own weapon, and he stumbled backwards under the shock force. Overpowered, he had to roll with his attacker’s momentum to avoid slitting his own throat. On their feet and panting for air, Tobirama got a look at his opponent and the fury boiling in his red eyes.

Red eyes.

“Sharingan...”

The unnamed Uchiha shook with rage. “You killed him. You killed my little brother with that, and now I’m gonna kill you!”

A flurry of hand seals had Tobirama taking a step back, unsure of what was coming until the Uchiha boy inhaled a deep breath and released a great mass of roiling fire. It careened straight for him at impossible speed, and Tobirama had to turn tail and run. His boots sloshed in the mud created from his earlier technique and an idea struck. Channeling his chakra, he called upon the muddy water beneath his feet to rise up behind him in like a shield. The collision with the great fireball was stunning. Steam hissed and mud melted, the water mixed in with it barely enough to keep the fire at bay.

“Tobirama!”

Butsuma’s familiar voice was a welcome sound. He and a young Itama joined his second son just as fire and water fizzled into a mess of charred mud and the smell of bog. Tobirama brandished his short sword at his attacker, ready to deliver the killing blow now that his father was watching.

“Izuna, that’s enough.”

Everyone knew Uchiha Tajima, the leader of the Uchiha clan, by face and name. He placed a hand on the boy’s—Izuna’s—shoulder in silent warning.

“He killed Kemuri!” Izuna said, taking a step forward with every intention of burning Tobirama alive.

Tajima did nothing to betray whatever he felt about the loss of one of his sons. It didn’t surprise Tobirama much. Lives were expendable. If the leader of a great clan were to break down every time he lost men, he would have no time to fight between the mourning. Tobirama shifted, thoughts wandering to his younger brother standing next to him. What if it had been him?

“I suppose I should thank you,” Tajima said, dark eyes fixed on Tobirama and a cruel smirk threatening to bloom. “Your actions have awakened Izuna’s Sharingan.”

Tears fell from Izuna’s transformed eyes and Tobirama had to wonder. Had he done this? Had he given his enemy a better weapon?

“Let’s end this, Butsuma,” Tajima said. “You’ve lost enough men for one day.”

“I should say the same for you,” Butsuma said, one hand on the hilt of his katana.

Tajima’s smirk widened. “Until next time, old friend.”

Izuna held Tobirama’s gaze, red on red as a promise of vengeance sealed in brother’s blood passed between them. Tobirama found himself leaning closer to his own brother, a silent warning.

“Tobirama,” Butsuma said once the Uchiha had withdrawn. “The next time we clash with the Uchiha, kill that boy. Forget about the others. Do you understand me?”

“Yes, Father.”

“We can’t afford to let that one grow stronger now that he has the Sharingan.”

The battlefield was a wasteland of mud, soot, and maimed corpses. Uchiha and Senju alike lay in piles, their armor warped with heat and some bloated from drowning. It was always the same story when they crossed paths, and no one ever seemed to get the upper hand in the long run. Destined to fight forever, Tobirama sometimes wondered about the point of it all. But Butsuma was right. If the stories were true, the Sharingan could mean the difference between a win and a loss for the Senju.

And so Senju Tobirama resolved to ensure Uchiha Izuna’s death the next time they crossed paths.

xxx

The day Kawarama died Tobirama was fourteen and still struggling to make good on the promise he’d made his father. Madara had set the field aflame, and Hashirama’s animate wood had only made it worse. Ever the faithful right hand, Tobirama shielded the newly christened Senju leader with his body, hands poised in the fortieth and final seal of the water dragon technique.

“Tobi!” Hashirama said, worry and relief melted together as his little brother bought him precious time to regroup.

But light never strays far from its faithful shadow. Tobirama barely had to time to block the knife to his throat, hissing as it nicked the unprotected skin below his chin. Izuna had a tendency to sneak up on him like this. It made double-teaming Madara impossible.

“Now we’re even,” Izuna said as he pushed harder, screeching metal hurting Tobirama’s ears as they vied for dominance.

In a dirty move, Tobirama kicked hard, forcing Izuna to leap backwards to avoid a blow to the stomach that could have cost him. Fire and water, brother for brother. To say water could douse fire was to underestimate the heat of Izuna’s hatred.

“We’ll never be even!” Tobirama said, redirecting his water dragon technique.

Sharingan spiraled red and black, red and black, and a piercing scream filled the area. Tobirama yelped, hands burning as though the skin were flayed off his palms. Sparks jumped across the body of his water dragon, the electricity having cut deep welts in his hands that blistered and smoked. Izuna, drenched from head to toe and panting, crackled with lightning.

“Lightning trumps water,” he said, water dripping from his long ponytail.

The fighting never stopped. Senju and Uchiha were doomed to repeat history, of this Tobirama was certain. Every time they clashed, more and more of their ranks fell under enemy fire and water, lightning and earth. There was no end to the slaughter and the power, each side becoming stronger only to discover the other catching up.

It wasn’t until Hashirama called a temporary ceasefire that Tobirama realized he’d never actually had a conversation with Izuna that didn’t involve them trying to kill each other. Negotiations were a farce when the Uchiha were involved as far as he was concerned. And yet, while Hashirama and Madara exchanged terms that everyone knew would never be enough to satisfy both sides, Tobirama and Izuna waited outside the chambers, silent and itching to hurt each other out of ingrained habit.

“This will never work, you know,” Tobirama said after nearly a half hour of silent brooding. “It never has before.”

He didn’t know why he’d decided to comment on something so futile. It was obvious to both of them without him pointing it out. Uchiha and Senju would never see eye to eye. There was too much bad blood between them now to reconcile. Hashirama was delusional and Madara was perhaps even more insane to hear out this ludicrous negotiation. Izuna did not respond right away, and Tobirama scowled. He should have known better.

“...And yet, they never stop trying.”

Izuna kept his dark gaze to the ground ahead, torches lending a soft glow to his angular features as they waited on either side of the door to the chambers. All around them, crack patterns danced upon carved stone with each flicker of firelight. There was no one around—Tobirama and Izuna had made sure their brothers would not be disturbed—and yet they spoke in hushed tones.

“It’s useless,” Tobirama said. “After all the Uchiha have done, there will be no forgiving.”

“Ah, and you’re an innocent bystander in all this. Hypocrite.”

The hilt of Tobirama’s sword called to him with an almost audible hum. A part of him wanted nothing more than to drive it through Izuna’s precious eyes right there and now. And yet, he paused.

“You’ve become more vicious over the years,” he said, finally voicing what he’d long suspected. “The older we get, the more hateful you are. Not that I’d expect anything less from an Uchiha.”

Izuna chuckled. “And you’ve become cantankerous. You’re just getting older.”

Murmuring filtered through the heavy wooden doors despite the soundproofing. It did not bode well for their brothers’ talk. Still, they would not move until summoned. They had set aside their mutual animosity and bad blood for this, and neither would betray his brother and leader. If nothing else, they shared that fierce loyalty.

“This will never work,” Tobirama said at last.

“Tell them that. They’re living in a dream world in there. But they’ll wake up. They always do. Hard to sleep when people are screaming all around you.”

“Is that all it is then? A dream.”

“What else would it be? You killed my brother and I killed yours, just like our fathers before us and their fathers before them. The sooner you accept that the better.”

Tobirama frowned. He didn’t like agreeing with Izuna, his brother’s murderer and the bane of his existence for as long as he could remember. He couldn’t help but think that with Izuna out of the way, Madara would stand no chance against Hashirama and himself.

“Funny, isn’t it,” Tobirama said. “We hate each other, and yet we understand each other perfectly. There is no one who knows my sentiments the way you do.”

“You don’t know this hatred,” Izuna said, averting his eyes once more to stare into the gloom. “...This hatred is a curse.”

“Curses can be broken.”

Izuna bared his teeth in a smile, and when he met Tobirama’s gaze once more it burned like the fire illuminating the room. This Sharingan was different, and Tobirama half drew his sword upon instinct.

“There’s no cure for this curse,” Izuna said, making no move to attack. “It will kill me, and it will kill you, too. That’s the only certainty in this world.”

Tobirama was about to ask him what he meant by that when the doors burst open.

“—can’t ever reach a compromise this way!” Hashirama shouted from within.

Madara stormed out. “Who would take those terms? You’re as stupid as you look. Nothing’s changed.”

Izuna and Tobirama exchanged a look before the former tailed after his irritable brother. Hashirama emerged soon after, youthful features twisted in frustration and a little despair. It didn’t suit him at all, but Tobirama kept that thought to himself.

“At least he didn’t attempt to attack you this time,” he said instead.

“I just don’t understand, Tobi. I know he agrees with me, I just know it. But he’s so stubborn! He just won’t give into anything.”

“He’s an Uchiha.” He’s not your brother.

“You make it sound like they’re another species.”

“They are.”

Hashirama sighed and rubbed his eyes. “They’re not. They’re just... Madara’s just looking out for them, that’s all. We’re not so different from them in the end.”

Tobirama said nothing to that. For the first time in his life, he found he could not refute it with complete certainty.

xxx

“What did you mean?”

Blood fell to the ground as Tobirama’s short sword made contact with Izuna’s cheek, so light and delicate. The Uchiha sneered and pulled back, wiping it with a free hand.

“About what?” He fired off a rapid round of hand seals even as he questioned his eternal opponent.

“About the curse that can’t be broken.”

A searing jet of fire careened toward Tobirama at high speed, and if not for the grueling training he’d forced upon himself he would not have survived it. With only a single hand seal he created a water dragon from out of thin air to defend him, catching the fire before it could incinerate him where he stood. The collision birthed a wall of steam, hissing like a brood of angry snakes as fire and water clashed in an age old battle, neither able to overwhelm the other without taking equal damage. At seventeen, they were still stuck in a stalemate.

Forced to shout over the roar of their attacks Izuna said, “Love and hate aren’t so different. The more I hate, the stronger I become. And you make it so easy!”

Tobirama grit his teeth and pushed more chakra into his technique. The water dragon became engorged, slowly but surely pushing back the fire. He would have to be careful lest Izuna resort to lightning. That trick would only work once. All of a sudden, the air around Tobirama became heavy with heat, drawing sweat and turning his cheeks red. A low rumble resounded from the other side of the clash until black tongues peeked out from amidst the orange flames. They grew into thick shadows and slithered into the maw of his dragon, evaporating the water on contact. Alarmed, Tobirama swore and attempted to up the power.

It was no use. Stygian flames reared up and consumed his dragon until they forced him to release his technique and leap to safety. He’d never seen anything like it. Far hotter than any normal fire, there was something spectral about those flames.

“Izuna!”

He stood rooted to the spot, gaze slowly shifting. Tobirama felt a cold chill creep up his spine at the sight of his longtime rival with blood falling from his eyes like tears.

“There’s no cure for this curse.”

“This is what we are, Tobirama,” he said, drawing his twin daggers and advancing. “You and I...we’ll never escape it. Now fight me!”

No one would talk about their battles in the histories. Hashirama and Madara would change the landscape with their power, and Tobirama and Izuna would be there to pick up the pieces. Shadows follow their celestial masters, hiding behind the light.

xxx

“There’s something about the Uchiha that I think you need to know.”

Hashirama looked up from the paperwork he was reading by the light of a thick tallow candle outlining the terms of an alliance with the wealthy Uzumaki clan. He’d insisted on doing it himself even though Tobirama was better with this sort of thing. In any case, it mattered little. Uzumaki Mito, their closest contact and the clan representative, would smooth out any kinks Hashirama overlooked.

“Must we talk about this now? I know your opinion of them already, and I’m tired—”

“I think there’s a reason they are the way they are.”

Hashirama put down his pen and gave his brother his full attention. “Of course there is. We’ve wronged them for generations, as they’ve wronged us. It’s not like they’re doing this for fun.”

“That’s not what I mean,” Tobirama said, thinking on how best to phrase it. “They... It’s like they grow stronger the more they hate.”

“...I would assume so. Hatred is a powerful motivator.”

“No, I mean, they become physically stronger. That new Sharingan isn’t normal. You know it.”

Hashirama smiled a little. “Well, it’s certainly nothing to sneeze at.”

“Izuna said they were cursed. That I don’t understand his hatred.”

“You were speaking with Izuna? I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say anything to him that didn’t involve a death threat.”

Tobirama stared at the wall of the small tent set up on the outskirts of Uzushiogakure, the Senju’s current outpost. His shadow flickered under the light of the candles, erratic.

“You don’t know this hatred.”

Why do you always have to be so stubborn?

“This won’t last forever,” he said. “One day, it will catch up to us. That’s what curses do. They fester.”

Hashirama was silent for a long while, and he wondered if his brother understood. “Then we’ll break the curse. That’s what I’ve been trying to do for so long. We’ll do it, Madara and I together. We will.”

“There’s no cure for this curse.”

The sun and the moon would always be the stuff of fancy, leaving the ugly truths of the world to the darkness of shadows. Tobirama left his brother to his dreaming without another word.

xxx

Years later they would talk about how Madara finally came around and made peace with Hashirama. They would talk about how Mito smoothed relations between the two leaders as a voice of reason and gentle influence. They would never speak of this day, the total eclipse of shadow over light, the first step into the abyss. Not until it was too late to turn back.

“Izuna!” Madara screamed in the distance.

His blood was surprisingly warm for someone so coldhearted. It caressed Tobirama’s hand, loosening the grip about the hilt of his sword. Even as he plunged it deeper through Izuna’s chest, his free hand came up to push too-long bangs out of his eyes. Gone was the angry red of the Sharingan. A cough drew bloody spittle.

“T-Tobirama...”

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. They were equals, Senju and Uchiha, yin and yang. One could not exist without the other. One had no meaning without the other. A tight feeling in his throat made it hard to talk without his voice cracking.

“You were supposed to avoid that,” Tobirama said, kneeling them on the ground and supporting Izuna’s weight. “Any idiot could have avoided that.”

“I’m n-not an idiot.”

He was angry. So angry. “Damn you. Damn you to hell.”

Izuna smirked, blood dribbling down his chin. “Then I’ll wait for you there.”

Tears burned as Tobirama felt Izuna grip the hilt of his sword, only blood separating them. That was always how it had been. They were connected in every way but by blood, and in death he was sure of it.

“I suppose...you do know me...best.”

“Izuna, I—” I’m sorry.

“I know. I kn-know.”

Madara and Hashirama were running toward them, coming to their aid for the first time. The world was upside down. It should have been Madara, not Izuna. Shadows are incorporeal. They cannot die.

I am not my brother.

Izuna pushed the sword deeper and twisted it, dark eyes glazing over with the shock of pain. And still he smiled. Tobirama had never seen him smile. Hot tears dripped onto his hand, mixing with Izuna’s blood.

“Maybe...curses can be b-broken...after all.”

Not like this.

He was gone before their brothers could reach them.

xxx

It was a beautiful day in the Hidden Leaf Village. The sun was warm and a light breeze carried the scent of wildflowers to Tobirama’s porch where he sat enjoying the lazy afternoon. It was too hot for his Hokage regalia, so he’d discarded it over the back of his chair. He sensed her long before she turned the corner onto the street leading to his small abode.

“Mito.”

The redhead smiled and took a seat next to him. “Contemplating again, Hokage-sama?”

He stiffened. “Please don’t call me that.”

“It’s your title.”

“It’s my brother’s title.”

Mito’s smile faltered. “It’s yours now. He would be proud.”

Tobirama sighed. After all was said and done, he and Mito were the only ones left. It made no sense. How could shadows linger without light to guide them? He supposed he would lose his mind if not for her.

“How do you do it?” he asked. “Every day...how do you do it?”

Mito put a hand over her navel, perhaps without thinking, and Tobirama could almost see her eyes run red with the Kyuubi’s hatred as it tried to consume her. How did one overcome something so potent?

“I remember what it was like to love,” she said. “But it’s impossible without knowing hatred. Otherwise, you can’t tell the difference.” Knowing eyes as verdant as the forests her husband raised for them seemed to look right through him. “Izuna understood that, and I know you do, as well.”

Tobirama clenched a fist at the memory of his late rival. His enemy. The only one who had ever understood him. Darkness may give light a place to shine, but it can never receive the same courtesy in return. They’d never needed it, anyway.

“I can’t be Hashirama. I’ll never be like him.”

“You don’t have to be. Just don’t forget him. Any of them.”

How could I?

Mito smiled and rose to leave him in peace, but his voice stopped her.

“He was wrong, you know. The Uchiha’s curse couldn’t be broken in the end. That’s why I have to do what I’m doing.”

She watched him with an unreadable look in her eyes. After all that she’d been through with Madara and Hashirama, he supposed she could understand better than most what it meant to live with a curse.

“You’re wrong. You succeeded where Hashirama failed. Stop blaming yourself for saving him.”

He let her go, too stunned to refute her statement. He could not, just as he could not bring himself to disdain Uchiha Kagami when he saw so much of his uncle in him. And he wondered if Izuna had seen Konoha, would he have smiled the way he’d smiled in death?

The sun began its descent toward the horizon. Soon, the fireflies would be out and children would run through the streets to chase them, their laughter filling the air. Tobirama would watch from the shadows as he always did.

“You and I have the best view of the light from where we stand in the shadows.”

He sighed, a smile fighting to spread. It was easy to imagine Izuna next to him here, his silent companion in the darkness even now. He never really was alone in the end.

“Yes, we do.”

#naruto fic #tobiizu #hella old fic i did 7 years ago wow the time where doth it go?#read more got messed up so reposting

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