#my friend said that emmas always felt kinda lonely to her
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Come Back Home
Season One | Season Two | Season Three | Season Four
Raining Hellfire: Season Four
Word Count: 3113 words
Warnings: swearing, bullying, mentions of death
[A/N: The introduction to RH4 is here! This season has been the hardest to write considering that this is where we find out all the truth behind Vecna. I'm excited to finally share this with you all :)]
Before we begin a new season, I just want to thank every single person who has supported my story. I'm not sure what will happen after RH4, if this will be the last season, but I've had a hell of a time writing this :)
Come Back Home
Dear Y/n,
High school hasn’t really been anything special. It’s kinda hard but at least the lessons are slightly more interesting.
The guys decided to join Hellfire Club. Eddie’s taking care of them. Just like you said he would.
Lucas tried out for the basketball team. I think he’s enjoying it, despite all the assholes he says are his friends. We’re not really seeing eye to eye lately. But it’s all fine. I promise.
Mike complains a lot about El and Will not being there. I think he forgets that we’re all missing them too. It kinda sucks that El and I got so close only for her to move away. But she calls me, telling me about her time in California. She tells me she’s enjoying it.
Steve and Robin seem to like working at the video store. I visit them sometimes, Steve always sneaks me any new releases. He thinks I’m lonely but I’m fine. He just overreacts. He also constantly asks about you, pretending like he doesn’t care. He misses you, even if he doesn’t admit it. We all do.
Mom and I moved into a trailer after Neil left. It’s nice, sometimes. Mom started drinking again but we get to spend time together and she’s trying her hardest. She couldn’t take Jack’s house. She misses her brother.
I miss you. A lot. I know we’ve done this before and at least this time I can talk with you but sometimes I wish you and I could just hang out together. The party are kind of acting like you’re on holiday. Like any day now you’ll burst through the door with souvenirs. But Nancy keeps telling them that’s not the case. They don’t listen. Of course they don’t.
I know why you left. You did it for us, even if the others can’t see that.
I’m doing okay. You’ve said in your letters that you worry about me but I’m completely fine. You should live a life away from Hawkins. You deserve that. You don’t need to come back.
I love and miss you,
Madmax.
You stuff the letter back into your drawer with a sigh. That was the last letter Max had sent you. It had been weeks now.
You couldn’t help but worry every single day you spent away from Hawkins. After hearing about Susan and Neil’s divorce, you felt guilty for ever leaving Max in the first place. Billy died and she needed you. But it was too dangerous.
The nightmarish figure hadn’t visited you in the eight months you’ve been away from Hawkins. It was a relief, really. You could finally sleep without fear of being pulled into the Upside Down.
But you still couldn’t close your eyes without seeing Jack and Billy die in front of you.
“Y/n?”
Your room-mate poked her head around the door, eyes wide.
“You okay?” You looked at Clara with a confused expression, setting down the pen you were using and slipping a half-written letter into a pile of work on your desk.
“She’s at it again.” She sighs and your lips purse.
Great, you thought, another fun day in Florida.
Clara patiently waits for you to sort out your things before you grab your keys and join her, walking quickly to the college courtyard where you could already see a crowd of students forming.
Yells and shouts could be heard as a trio of girls messed around with Emma Sanders. You suck in a breath. You wished you could say this wasn’t a daily occurrence.
Emma Sanders was a 16 year old girl who had managed to get into college early from her brains alone. She was a modest girl, very shy since everyone else around her was much older. You and her had shared a class together and it turns out Emma was much more sweet and funny than anyone seemed to notice. But, there was a rumour spreading that her parents were on the board and used their position to get her into college. She has claimed over and over that she just got an early scholarship but that’s the thing with the students at this college; they hate to see someone out-do them. They hate it even more when the girl they bully actually sticks up for themself and calls them out on their bullshit.
Which is why, almost every day since the beginning of the college year, poor Emma had to experience the very worst of what teenage girls are capable of.
“Move out of the way.” You sigh, shoving past a group of guys clearly enjoying the display. They protest but shift out of your way regardless, craning their necks for a better view of the fight.
It was a deja-vu moment for you; breaking up a fight. And over three years later, here you were. Being a ‘hero’, as someone would always say to you.
Clara shuffled up beside you as you pushed your way into the circle, coming face to face with the devils themselves.
“Okay, we get it. You’re upset you’re all dumb and had to pay to get in.” You retort, picking your friend from off the floor and she sends you a grateful smile.
You gently nudge her away from the crowd and Emma disappears, most likely to the library. Hopefully she’d be okay.
“Y/n Mayfield. Here to ruin the fun, like always.”
The shrill voice called from behind you and you clicked your tongue. She had the kind of voice that scratched your brain in the most excruciatingly painful way possible.
And it just so happens that you had years of experience blocking her out.
“Carol.” You purse your lips, turning to face the queen of high school herself, still taking advantage of those around her for her own personal enjoyment. “You realise this is college, right?”
She simply raises her eyebrows, edging you on.
“You’re not in high school anymore.” You sigh, shaking your head, “Maybe you should focus on actually passing the semester instead of proving that your daddy has more money than the rest of us.”
“Yeah, and can the rest of you stop acting like this is some crappy teen drama movie?” Clara yelled at the few students still standing around you, chanting as if something more than an exchange of words would happen. “Go to class or something! Get a damn education!”
A few sighs and groans sounded but soon everyone dispersed, leaving you and Clara with Carol and her new-found minions.
“Why, oh why, do you always have to annoy me?” Carol sighs, waving her hand in the air. The action caused the other two girls to stalk away. She really did have power over them.
“Look, Carol.” You take a step forward, shoulders slumped. You were really tired of this. “I had no idea we were going to end up at the same college. But here we are and honestly, I just want a normal college experience, okay? No fights, no stupid rumours. Is that so impossible to ask for?”
Carol shifted on her feet, chewing the gum in her mouth slowly as she pondered the thought.
“You know what?” Carol slowly nodded, smiling. “You’re right.”
You almost fall back in surprise. “I am?”
“She is?” Clara chimed in beside you, just as confused.
“Yeah.” Carol took a few steps towards you. “It really is impossible to ask for.”
“Oh for the love of-” You mutter and Carol glares at you.
“Why would I ever forgive and forget someone that slept with my boyfriend?”
Clara audibly gasps beside you. That was something you had left out of the room-mate introductions.
You roll your eyes, crossing your arms, “For the last time, I didn’t know! I was drunk and I would never have done that if he just told me you were dating.”
“Really?” Carol raised an eyebrow. “Cause it seems to be a trend with you lately. Stealing other girls’ boyfriends.”
“I doubt Y/n would do that.” Clara shakes her head and you smile to yourself. Good to know someone had your back.
“I heard a rumour…” Carol stepped forward, her pink lips stretched into a wicked smile. “That you ended up sleeping with Steve Harrington.”
“Who?” Clara whispered to you and you just waved your hand.
“That didn’t happen.” You say. It was the truth, nothing more than an emotional shared kiss ever happened between you and Steve. Certainly not when he and Nancy were still dating.
“You should really rethink your friends.” Carol turns to the girl next to you, an innocent look on her face. “Y/n was notorious for being the whore of Hawkins.”
“Fuck you.” You finally spat and she smiled. She got exactly what she wanted; to get you angry.
“Hm, let’s see.” Carol held up her hand and started putting down fingers as she counted. “Tommy, Eddie, Steve. Oh, and let’s not forget Billy.”
You stayed silent, breath hitching at the sound of his name.
“All in the space of, what, three years?” She smirked at you. “And yet, little old Y/n Mayfield couldn’t manage to keep any of them. In fact, she ended up running away just when she realised that they could never love a girl…”
Carol’s eyes turned dark as she leant forward to whisper into your ear. “… who murdered her best friend.”
Your eyes widen with tears, breath caught in your throat. How did she know that?
“Don’t underestimate your enemies, Y/n.” She said, glaring at you, “Especially ones with friends in high places.”
She leant in again with a smile, chuckling lowly, “Or ones who end up snooping through the school shrink’s files. You should really be careful what you tell people.”
“What do you want from me?” Your voice was barely a whisper.
“I want you to realise that you deserve everything that’s coming to you. I want you out of Florida. This is my college, not yours.”
“I can’t.” You say, shaking your head slightly.
“You’re gonna have to.” She pouts, fixing the collar of your shirt. “Or I’m gonna tell everyone at this college exactly who you are.”
She let’s out a shrill laugh, tossing her hair behind her shoulder.
“Anyway, it was nice catching up. Let’s not do this again, ‘kay?” She looks to your friend with a grin, “Bye, Claire.”
“It’s Clara.” She mumbled, glaring.
“Whatever.”
And just like that, the infamous Carol Perkins reclaimed her power and left you stood in the middle of the courtyard, heartbeat running fast enough to blur your vision.
“Y/n?” Clara placed her hand on your shoulder. “Are you okay?”
“… yeah.” You nod, shaking away the burning nerves. “Yeah, I’m fine.”
“Don’t let her get into your head, Y/n.” She frowned. You let out a breathy laugh, shaking your head.
“It’s not that easy.”
Clara invited you out with her friends for lunch, claiming you needed to have some fun and actually explore outside of your room. You respectfully declined her offer, telling her to have fun without you. You weren’t in the party mood.
You pulled out the paper you had hidden away earlier, grabbing your pen and wiping away a stray tear. All you had done to forget your past, it always found its way to haunt you.
The paper was crumpled at the edges and you tried your absolute best to smooth them out, wanting it to be perfect. You took a breath, reading the very first line over and over until your brain hurt.
Dear Eddie,
For months now you had tried to muster up some kind of courage to write to him. Ever since the day you left, the metalhead never left your brain. But, at the exact same time, neither did Steve. Never in your life did you think you’d be stuck in some kind of love triangle that only you were aware of.
It’s always been hard for you to express your feelings. Growing up in a house with parents that thought being tough built character would do that to you.
Billy had come first but the feelings between you two had gotten muddled up along the way; you weren’t ever in love. He was your best friend, your closest friend and you were both too young to understand that love didn’t have to be romantic. Which made sense. You didn’t think you were capable of it.
Then Eddie Munson changed all that for you. He was sweet, and kind, and everything you could have hoped for. You finally got to feel what real love felt like. All the best and worst moments of it. Every time you were with him, you felt some kind of electricity you couldn’t explain. And those feelings never left you, not really. You just couldn’t admit it to him in the end.
The kiss you and Steve had shared the night of the ‘mall fire’ was far from meaning nothing to you. In fact, you had both confessed you liked eachother. You had confessed you loved eachother. Love was a word that barely left your lips. Steve made you feel safe, feel heard. Like he knew every part of you. But you were both still in love with the ones that got away.
You groan into your hands, throwing the pen back down. Writing this letter was impossible.
Maybe it was for the best that you’d never see them again.
And with Carol’s sudden blackmail, you were way too busy figuring out if you could transfer colleges. Maybe you could head to San Diego instead. Or Arizona. Or just flee to Europe.
Hopefully Max will get your letters when you move.
As you reach to switch off the table lamp, the phone at the edge of the desk suddenly starting ringing. You jumped in surprise, chair wobbling on two legs for a moment before you composed yourself. You frowned. Nancy only just called you yesterday evening.
You pick up the phone, holding it to your ear cautiously.
“Hello?”
“Y/n?” Robin’s voice called out and you breathed a sigh of relief. You and Robin had an occasional phone call now and then, just to catch up about once a month. But you had just spoken to her last week.
“Robin? Why are you-” Your question is cut short when you hear her shooing someone away, most likely a customer, plus some clatter as you assume she moves the phone to a more secluded spot.
“Have you seen the news?” Her voice was urgent and you frowned.
“The Hawkins news?” You let out a breathy laugh, confusion mixed with fear at her voice, “Uh, no, Robs. I haven’t.”
She’s silent for a moment until you hear her let out a sigh.
“Robin, what’s going on?” You started to panic, straightening in your seat.
“It’s…” She lowered her voice to a whisper and you wondered if Steve knew she was calling you. “It’s Eddie.”
Your heart leapt into your throat. “What-what about him?”
“Okay this really isn’t easy to say but I figured you should know that some freaky-deaky shit is going on. Like not exactly a monster made out of flesh and evil Russians but like-” Robin rambled and you shook your head.
“Robin! Rob- Just tell me!” You were out of your seat now, staring at the paper on the table in front of you.
“Someone was found dead in his trailer and the police think he did it.”
You gulped, chest a little lighter to know he was still alive. “What-”
“Chrissy.” Robin said quietly, “Her name. She… Max saw her go into his trailer and apparently the lights were all whack-a-doodle, but she didn’t think anything of it at the time since the trailers are always experiencing some kind of light failure.”
“Robin.” You say as softly as you can, reminding her to stay on topic.
“Right, yeah. Anyway, the police found her body in his trailer this morning. It was all snapped up and broken and-” She takes a deep breath as you hold your own. “There’s no way any kind of human could have done it.”
“But the police think Eddie did?” It wasn’t really a question. After all, the only policeman in Hawkins who had ever thought clearly was Hopper.
“He apparently ran away after it happened and we managed to find where he might be hiding-”
“We?” You ask.
“Me, Steve, Dustin. Max.” She adds with a knowing tone.
You take a moment to think through Robin’s information. She wouldn’t have called if she wasn’t scared. From her description, something very sinister was happening in Hawkins.
Again.
“Look, Y/n.” Robin sighs and you hear muffled voices, one clearly belonging to Dustin. “We’re gonna go find him and try to make this all right. The others… they didn’t want to drag you into this and neither do I but, I- I don’t know, I guess I just felt guilty if I didn’t let you know what was happening.”
“No, no. It’s okay, Robs. Thank you for telling me.” You assure, slumping back into your chair. “Just… if it gets worse…”
“We’ll be careful.” She tells you before you clearly hear Steve yell for her. Your heart tightens at the sound of his voice. You hadn’t spoken to him in eight months. “Okay, I gotta go. We have this handled and I’ll call you later. Bye.”
“Rob-” You try but she’s already hanging up the phone.
You go to set the phone back down, when suddenly something sounds from the receiver.
Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.
Then, a sudden flash of images burns your mind, eyes fluttering shut, as you envision a dark room.
Random objects littered about, like an attic of treasures. But that wasn’t what caught your eye. In the middle stood a grandfather clock, chiming methodically. You start to get a closer view, something about the glass seeming off.
Then, suddenly, it cracks, a single scar running across the face and everything plunges into a dark blue hue, specs of white dust fluttering around it. And vines...
You snap out of your vision just as Clara opens the door, a laugh leaving her lips.
“Bye, guys!” She calls to her friends before locking the door. She turns around to see you stood, staring at the phone while biting your lip.
“Y/n? Are you okay?” She closes the space and you slowly shake your head.
Every thought in your mind was telling you that they were fine. That it was all a misunderstanding. You weren’t in Hawkins, there was no reason for them to be unsafe.
But the shiver in your bones told you otherwise.
You finally meet Clara’s eyes, eyebrows furrowed. You take a breath.
“I’m going back to Hawkins.”
Chapter 1: Hunting Season ->
taglist: @gnnnne / @beepisbeep / @paintballkid711/ @eddiesbirdie/ @livasaurasrex/ @darktimelegends / @jackierose902109 / @mvrylee / @chervbs/ @eternallyvenus / @nervouscatsuit/ @f1nn-wolfhard/ @hereiamhereigo/ @ladybug0095 / @fangirling-4-ever / @astrolockley/ @mothmanatemycat
#stranger things#stranger things fanfiction#stranger things imagine#stranger things x reader#eddie munson#steve harrington#nancy wheeler#robin buckley#max mayfield#vecna#dustin henderson#lucas sinclair#eleven stranger things#erica sinclair#st4#stranger things 4#eddie munson x reader#steve harrington x reader#vecna’s curse#stranger things reader insert#fanfic
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Fridays—Chapter 165: Black Friday, pt. 3
Fridays—Chapter 165: Black Friday, pt. 3
Pairing: Captain Swan
Summary: A series of unrelated, fluffy one shots featuring Killian Jones and Emma Swan and the relationship that makes us all swoon. Will contain both canon and AU stories. My contribution to Operation Rainbow Kisses and Unicorn Stickers (aka, my attempt to drown out the season 4 finale angst with ridiculous levels of fluff.)
Other Chapters: ( 1) (2) ( 3) ( 4) ( 5) (6) ( 7) ( 8) ( 9) ( 10) ( 11) ( 12) (13) (14) (15) (16) (17) (18) (19) (20) (21) (22) (23) (24) (25) (26) (27) (28) (29) (30) (31) (32) (33) (34) (35) (36) (37) (38) (39) (40) (41) (42) (43) (44) (45) (46) (47) (48) (49) (50) (51) (52) (53) (54) (55) (56) (57) (58) (59) (60) (61) (62) (63) (64) (65) (66) (67) (68) (69) (70) (71) (72) (73) (74) (75) (76) (77) (78) (79) (80) (81) (82) (83) (84) (85) (86) (87) (88) (89) (90) (91) (92) (93) (94) (95) (96) (97) (98) (99) (100) (101) (102) (103) (104) (105) (106) (107) (108) (109) (110) (111) (112) (113) (114) (115) (116) (117) (118) (119) (120) (121) (122) (123) (124) (125) (126) (127) (128) (129) (130) (131) (132) (133) (134) (135) (136) (137) (138) (139) (140) (141) (142) (143) (144) (145) (146) (147) (148) (149) (150) (151) (152) (153) (154) (155) (156) (157) (158) (159) (160) (161) (162) (163) (164) (166) (167) (168) (169) (170) (171) (172) (173) (174)
(ao3) (ff.net)
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"It worked!" Henry said excitedly he following Monday morning as he got off the school bus and sprinted over to Alice. "My mom told me all about it. Your dad and my mom decided to share the storybook!"
"I know!" Alice said, smile wide and delighted. "My papa explained the situation to me. I could tell he felt bad that he didn't get the book, and I wanted to make him feel better, but then I thought maybe it would be better to act kinda disappointed."
"Good thinking," Henry said with a nod as they reached their classroom and headed for their desks. "If they feel guilty, then they'll make sure to always make the drop off, and then they'll have to meet every week. We'll be brother and sister by Easter!"
"I hope you're right," Alice said with a sigh. "I know my papa gets lonely sometimes, and it would be nice if he had someone besides me in his life."
"Exactly," Henry agreed. "And my mom needs to know that not every guy's like my dad. Not every guy's gonna leave her.
Henry busied himself setting his backpack on the floor and getting out his books and then he looked back at Alice with a troubled look. "You don't think they'll be mad at us, do you? You know, for being sneaky and everything."
Alice shook her head vehemently. "They'll be too happy together for that. Sometimes adults are just too busy to see what's right in front of them. That's when their kids have to step in and parent trap them."
Notes:
–Merry Christmas Eve! I hope you have a wonderful holiday with your family and friends!
–As you can probably tell, this story isn’t finished. I had two CS Secret Santa stories to write, so I didn’t have time to finish everything, but I promised you another part of this fic today, so I wanted to at least give you something! The rest of the story is all plotted out, so with any luck, you’ll get the last part next Friday!
–Oh, also, as a bonus Christmas gift, I’m going to post a second story to this collection later tonight! (I might have 2 chapters for you next week too!)
NEXT CHAPTER -->
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Ep 38 is another good one! We are on a roll. I have some thoughts on why and whether I could still end up whining in future episodes again... but for now let’s just enjoy the moment.
We are finally catching up with Yamato (and Jou) who has the sort of episode you’d expect from the brooding lone wolf of the group. I wish they’d pushed it just a liiiittle further than they did and I’ll tell you why below. Still, the point is we learned some things we needed to about Yamato, and with some higher than usual stakes (for a side plot) than usual.
Pic of the day, though, is all about his highness, our lord and savior, JOOOOOOOOO.
You will bow before him, peasant!
More below.
Like I said, the stakes are a bit high this week:
Right off the bat, Gabumon’s been beaten, captured, and tied to a cross...
... where Mephismon (this guy) is apparently planning to kill him in ritual sacrifice.
In other words, this episode is: Yamato and Gabumon Go To Digimon Hell
:P
I mean... Mephismon even looks scary. Very Satanic. Gives me chill, lol. Probably not as scary for kids who didn’t grow up being hit over the head with a Bible every day by evangelicals, though. Sometimes I look back on my childhood and just think “wtf?”
That being said, Mephismon is the sort of lackey you’d expect Millenniumon to have, much more in the vein of Devimon or DarkKnightmon. Aka, pretty darn scary. I was so frustrated for so long by all the small fry Digimon Taichi “struggled” with by himself for no apparent reason - they felt like filler episodes, tbh - filler for a show that has no reason to have filler!
And I STILL do NOT understand why we got WarGreymon’s evolution over a totally forgettable nobody Digimon, but these recent episodes with Koushirou, Mimi, and Yamato have all been serious crises where the characters put everything on the line, and yet nobody evolves. It’s not that I think they HAD to evolve here - I can see they’re leading up to it and since that guarantees more focus on them in the future, I’m totally down for that. What I don’t understand is why Taichi DIDN’T get that. Why play WarGreymon so early? The episode itself did involve Taichi challenging himself, but it all felt so setup. And so unmemorable that it’s just hard to care.
Anyway... I’m ranting about things that didn’t happen in this episode. Rant over xD Back to Yamato.
His desperate play to rescue Gabumon by himself goes as well as you’d expect.
Yamato: I’m too cool for this shit
He is chased by those gas mask-wearing Digimon whose name I forget. But they are conveniently blown back by the gush of a timely geyser. Geyser, you say? That means hot springs must be nearby. If hot springs are nearby...
Jou: Now I know what it feels like to be Team Rocket!
Jou falls out of the sky and right into Yamato’s path. Dressed in nothig but a towel, he looks to Yamato like a scrawny, nerdy, guardian angel.
Yamato: You’ve gotta help me, Clarence. Fly me to the top of the mountain.
Jou: I can’t, I haven’t got my wings.
Yamato: Yeah, you’re about what I’d expect my guardian angel to be like...
So, Jou immediately starts to chatter at Yamato, and it looked to me like Yamato might be getting annoyed. If this were 99 Adventure, he’d had snapped and said something like, “Can’t you see Gabumon’s gone? Aren’t you even going to ask about that or do you only think about yourself?”
But this is 2020 Yamato, and 2020 Digimon Adventure, where the kids are all Very Nice and don’t have much in the way of flaws. That’s my number one complaint about this show so far. So Yamato just waits for the moment where Jou needs to take a breath to break and ask for his help rescuing Gabumon.
(Gomamon reminds Jou to get dressed first, thankfully.)
Up on the mountain peak, Mephismon sacrifices the Data of poor blue!Elecmon to the fragment of Millenniumon he is guarding.
At first I was like, why do Yamato and Jou know about these crystals?? But then they’re like, we heard from Taichi over the digivice. Ah, of course. I kind of miss the old digivices that pre-date smartphones :P
Yamato explains how they ended up in this situation, and I REALLY like this. They came across Mephismon sacrificing innocent Digimon on their journey to reunite with the rest of the team, and it was Gabumon who insisted they had to stay and save them. Gabumon!
So this is not the first time we’ve seen the Digimon partners take initiative this season. The lack of personal flaws and personality clashes are my least favorite part of the reboot, but the increased agency of the Digimon themselves is probably my favorite. When DanDevimon swallowed Taichi, it was Agumon’s pain that caused his warp evolution. Not saying Taichi had nothing to do with it, but the focus was certainly way more on how losing his partner sent Agumon over the edge. Now we’ve got Yamato actually arguing with Yamato because he feels so passionate about rescuing the captured Digimon.
Yamato’s not heartless, of course - he just prioritizes the people closest to him first. And I have no idea if we’ll see much more of this sort of willpower from Gabumon - it’s partly there for convenience, since no one else is around. (Last time, it was Sora who wanted to help others at their own risk and Yamato clashed with her over the same thing.) The other reason is, this is the episode where we find out how Yamato and Gabumon became friends - which is especially important for the guy who gets the Crest of Friendship - so they needed something a bit more meaty than “the proof of our friendship is I follow you wherever you go and do whatever you want.”
But I love it because it really makes them feel like partners.
Of course, Yamato can’t say no in the end, so he and Gabumon go to save the Digimon. But they’re overwhelmed.
The vision of his partner’s bony ass shrinking into the distance as bullets fly overhead will haunt his dreams always ;^;
Yamato: Once a psychic read my palm and said I have an unusually short life line. I guess she was right. But she also said I’d marry Emma Stone and have eight children.
Jou: are you sure she wasn’t just playing a game of MASH?
While Yamato and Jou plan their strategy, we switch back to the rest of the team, where the girls are having tea time.
I know I complain about this every time but WHO DA HECK decided Sora and Mimi should wear the same color scheme look what you did now they both blend into the couch
The boys talk a bit of shop, then Takeru reveals that he and Yamato don’t live together because their parents fight and don’t get to see each other because they both work so much. He doesn’t really come out and say “they’re divorced” but he says he and his brother are separated. Even though Yamato calls Takeru to talk a lot, Takeru still feels sad that there are things he misses since they live so far apart.
Taichi assures Takeru that Yamato will be fine, pointing out that Yamato had already been adventuring in the digital world for an unknown amount of time before Taichi’s group ever got there. Wow, haven’t referenced that in literally ages. I’m glad these things are finally relevant again. Also like how it seems to confirm Taichi still kinda holds special admiration for Yamato. That seemed like the route they were going way back when Yamato joined the group in episode 8, but then it wasn’t touched on till now.
Then we get the long-awaited Yamato & Gabumon origin story! Yamato appears to have arrived in the digital world in a similar way that Taichi did. He looks the same, so probably it wasn’t a huge time difference (in human world time anyway).
At first, Yamato’s like, “leave me alone. I don’t have any interest in the digital world. Where’s the exit?” And Tsunomon says, “Fine, then I will just protect you whether you want me to or not.”
Yamato: Reeeeeally wishing Ikkakumon could fly, lol
Yamato recalls how, despite his chilly behavior, Tsunomon still jumped to his rescue.
(The rescue involved Ikkakumon shooting torpedoes up the mountainside so Yamato can grab them and climb to the top. What I don’t get is why this didn’t draw Mephismon’s attention :P I guess he figured his gas mask lackeys would handle it but uh.)
Past!Yamato rescues Tsunomon, who is so touched that he is able to evolve. Yamato makes an attempt to remain aloof...
... but in the end he turns into Taichi :P
So that’s the origin story! It’s more or less what I figured. Kind of surprised we didn’t get any scenes of them in the digital world proper, since I got the impression Yamato was familiar with that world as well as this plane that seems to be a sort of interface between worlds. But maybe not, who knows.
What they try to do here is set up that Yamato is an aloof type who tries to avoid relationships. But he snaps out of it and warms up to people so fast that it’s hard to really appreciate it. Plus he doesn’t really do much to push them away other than say “leave me alone.” Eh.
Lol it’s funny because he’s strapped to the cross but because his leg fur hangs like that, from behind it looks like he’s just standing there....
Mephismon starts to sacrifice Gabumon!
A power blast of dark energy starts to pulse from the mountain, sending everyone to their knees. Jou thinks fast and hides inside his bag. Nylon is good at blocking out satanic chanting after all.
His eyes fall on... his textbooks! Social studies, chemistry, the periodic table, Japanese history memorization textbook... these useless books! Could they actually be useful?!?!?!
no.
no they couldn’t
Yamato: Ahh! That’s it, I have got to start lifting more.
But wait - Jou gets an idea. There’s something that calms him when he’s stressed and that’s... chanting passages from his rote memorization technique books x’D So he sits down and... it’s basically a throw back to the Bakemon episode in 99. I believe he’s chanting things from the Japanese history book, but as I’ve never been a Japanese kid, I’d have to do more research than I want to to figure out for sure.
He then switches to chanting the numerals of pi! He has pi memorized! x’D I don’t know why that should surprise me. He soon begins to glow with the Zen energy of a cram school trance.
Jou: 3.14159265359... 3.14159265359...
Gas mask Digimon: 3.14159265359.... 3.14159265359...
These bright ripples emanate from Jou, counteracting the evil ripples coming from Mephismon’s mountain. It soon pulls the gas mask Digimon into the trance as well.
Ikkakumon: ... I have no effing idea what is going in this episode on anymore
Jou comes out of the trance to discover the gas mask Digimon ARE NOW HIS OBEDIENT SUBJECTS. WHAT.
(see I told you you’d bow)
seriously what just happened! XD is this Jou’s mutant power
or is this something all Japanese children who survive juku can do as a result of spending so much time memorizing shit
Ikkakumon then is able to shoot a bunch better pathway of torpedoes for Yamato to climb and MEPHISMON STILL DOESN’T NOTICE
Yamato finally makes it to the peak!
Mephismon’s like, “nice try, but what were you planning to do now? You left your friend at the bottom of the mountain and I’ve got your partner. And I doubt you’ve memorized all the numerals of pi.”
He kindly creates an evil burning vortex to increased the hellishness of the landscape. He understands that a Yamato episode needs the proper ambience.
Gabumon’s about to be sacrificed to Digi-Satan lmao
Yamato steps into the pentagram and get shocked. But he presses on despite the difficulty (and the hellfire), thinking about how much his partner means to him.
He drops to his knees while Gabumon begs him to save himself.
Yamato: “You’re my... friend!”
The power of friendship destroys the pentragram and also frees Gabumon from the cross.
The Crest of Friendship glows...
Gabumon is strengthened and becomes... WereGarurumon.
:P
Yeah... seemed like a good time for MetalGarurumon but whatever.
After a cool but brief fight, Mephismon is defeated.
He appears frozen? Can Gabumon freeze stuff? Whatev. Anyway he’s frozen and then disintegrates.
Gabumon is tired but happy. Their bond is now even stronger.
Cute Takeru on Pegasusmon flies down to his brother at last.
And the others wave up to them from Komondomon. Aw. So finally the team is back together! ;__; Please let it last this time, please please please....
Kay so, overall... I liked this episode. The whole “You’re my friend!” bit would have been stronger if we’d seen more of Yamato resisting that though. I don’t really know why but the reboot seems to pull its punches a lot. I really wish they’d let the kids be mean to each other like 99 Adventure did sometimes. Being mean doesn’t mean you’re a bad person and a terrible influence on children watching your show. It just means you are human and your viewers can learn from watching your mistakes and seeing your growth. Try to understand that, showrunners :P
A missed opportunity in this episode: Yamato and Jou. I was excited that they were gonna be together because they often clashed in 99. And in the reboot as well, it was established that Yamato is annoyed by Jou, although he’s much more polite and hadn’t said anything about it till now (just stayed away from wherever Jou was until he fell asleep lol). So I thought, in this ep, we’d see them butt heads and learn to work together, something like that. But aside from the very first moment where Yamato might look a teensy bit annoyed, they just get alone fine. Idk. Not interesting.
In the end, though, the ep was clearly meant to be Yamato only and Jou was just there as a matter of convenience so the whole group would be together at the end. Since the team is finally reunited, I hope we do start to see all of them interacting in different ways that show their personalities more. Might not be the same as 99 (or, I should say definitely won’t be, at this point), but just something more than “look how well we all get along.”
Next week...
Looks to be a light and funny episode. The Burgermon were one of my fav bits of Frontier. But I’m a little nervous about this being a Jou epiosde. It’s his turn, I know, but everyone else got something meaningful. Even Mimi - though there was lots of humor in her episode, she was also major league cool the entire time. Maybe that will be the case with Jou here, but I’m not sure because 2020 Jou is a little different - more scatterbrained, more open, more talkative, less serious, less likely to act sullen... he’s quite different, now that I think about it. So I’m actually having difficulty imagining what his personal test will be in this episode. Guess we’ll have to wait and find out. Maybe it won’t even be that kind of episode anyway.
Also, just a guess, but next week is ep 39. So ep 40 maybe will be the start of something big again. It would be good timing: the team’s together and everyone’s had a chance recently for an episode to themselves...
See y’all next week! As usual didn’t check for typos :P
#fizz watches digimon 2020#digimon adventure:#digimon adventure 2020#digimon adventure reboot#digi spoilers#digimon
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A Letter from Norman reactions
Tonight I was feeling like reorganizing the notes I took after reading the novel for the first time. Just some random personal reactions I had after reading it; if anything catches your attention and you'd like to know more about a particular event from the novel, please feel free to ask and I'll be happy to help!!!
Under the cut because it's l o n g. That is, if Tumblr allows me to add a "read more", which has never happened before, but I'll keep hoping in it.
• Disclaimer: I'm suing anyone who ever said that the novel is all about NorEmma. I've literally put off reading it because I didn't want to get into something overly romantic while there's??? Nearly nothing about it that is romantic??????? Just a slight mention in that last chapter and that's it???????? Why are y'all like this
Prologue
• I need you all to know that the important letter™ through which Norman informed Emma about his plan starts with him describing the weather. I just think it's a relevant information.
• Ok I'm at freaking page 1 of “A letter from Norman” and. NORMAN IT'S A FREAKING LETTER TO EMMA NOT A SHAKESPEAREAN PLAY THERE'S LITERALLY NO REASON TO BE THIS POETIC
Maybe, I would get it if it was directed to Ray, but to Emma?????
Chapter 1
• Emma in 2038: Let's befriend ghosts
Emma in 2047: let's befriend demons
Seems like a logic consecution to me
• Ok but why has nobody ever mentioned the extremely precious Emma / Gilda moments in the novel???? My heart was completely melting that was the most adorable thing I've ever read??????
• The way Norman is constantly in awe of Ray is so adorable... Baby is so sweet I swear, he deserves the world
Chapter 2
• OK BUT THE SWEET EXCHANGE between Ray and Isabella before him and Emma go out at night?????? Ray is so pure is swear... He's a precious baby who didn't deserve all the shit he went through.
Reporting it in case anyone's curious; for context, Norman is sick, and Emma wants to go out look for a flower that she's read is going to help him feel better. Emma and Ray are convinced that Norman is going to die because babies are just that dramatic, and easily impressionable as well. They're seven here.
“ «Ray, I'm counting on you!»
Isabella pressed an hand on the boy's shoulder, who turned his face to her and diligently nodded, before continuing: «Differently from Emma, I don't think the flower is going to help Norman heal».
«What do you mean?»
«However, it's better than having to sit back and watch without doing anything. I too, like her, want him to heal as soon as possible.»
«Sure, I understand...» ”
NOW that hits so hard. You have to understand, this is after Ray had made the deal with Isabella. He had already started to plan the escape. In this occasion, he was on a very thin line: alone at night with Emma, outside the House, a child who knew the truth. Isabella knew those were the right conditions for him to attempt an escape, so she decided to test his loyalty; one misstep, and their deal - which was fundamental for the escape Ray was planning - would have ended.
But at the same time, Ray needed to go. Because, just like Emma, he just couldn't stand to lose Norman. And to see these three children caring so deeply about each other even at such a young age makes me honestly bawl. This is quite certainly my favorite thing from this series. And Ray deserves the world.
• Ray was so determined to save his two friends, he even considered for a moment, in the woods, to tell Emma the truth about the orphanage. I find it very nice how the novel hinted of all these times Ray almost revealed the truth, it really puts emphasis on how he was trying to find the best moment for the escape- but it also hints to how desperate he was to share this grievous burden he was forced to carry for the longest time.
• “ Ray, you must keep on living, Norman whispered to himself like a prayer. ”
I'm... I'M 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
Doesn't help the fact that this bit was literally at the end of pages of Norman praising Ray and how brave he had been for so long.
• “ Nobody in the House would have wanted for Ray to pay with his life to amend the silence of all those years. ”
I love this bit. Nobody between the children ever hated Ray for speechlessly assisting to dozens of his siblings being lead to death, because they all immediately understood how much he was suffering, how powerless he must had felt, and also, even though it only led to him being even more hurt, how deeply he loved them all. It's really nice to realize that no children ever hated Ray- no one besides from himself. His siblings love him unconditionally, and that's precisely what he deserves 🤧🤧💕💕💕
• Norman: *adventures in a detailed description of Ray's features and gestures for no other apparent reason than the fact that he finds him pretty*
Chapter 3
• Ok I know people use to see Ray and Susan's interactions under the light of Ray having a crush on her but honestly? I think they make the cutest brotp. I never knew how much I needed Ray-having-an-older-sister content untill now.
• For real though!! What hits you really hard is to find out, even though he would had never ever showed it, how desperate he was to have somebody care about him, and to be loved. He literally grieves for losing someone that looks after him and is there to check on him in his lowest days- we know it's the thing Isabella never gave him. Man, this boy didn't deserve all the shit that happened to him. Tpn may have become an old known story for me, but Ray's sufferings in his early age will never stop tearing my heart apart.
• Ok, I wasn't ready for all this angst on Ray's part. I mean, I obviously know GF were hard times for him, but I didn't expect for him to take over the pov. Sis, how wrong I was. Now I'm crying.
• Coming to the realization that Ray's initial plan actually was to bring everyone in the escape, but he clearly had to give up on it after having realized it would have been impossible to save them 🥺🥺🥺
(I mean it was not impossible. He believed it was. But it wasn't.)
• Ok but. The last part of the Ner chapter. I really don't want to spoil it for anyone because it really was a beautiful chapter but I really need to say: Emma and Norman. The way it wasn't just Ray always being there for them, protecting them from afar; no matter their blissful ignorance, they have always been there for him too. They never abandoned that lonely boy, and they made it so that he could have a last reason not to give up. A single, dim light of hope in that pitch black, devastating world he was born in. I may or may not be crying my eyes out.
(Btw I had written this before the Ray special chapter came out, and it's kinda funny to look back at it now)
• The thing with the Ner chapter is: you enter in it after reading two chapters of normal, wholesome children's stories. There's a dark undertune in it, but it's very subtle and it doesn't interfere with the happy, cheerful atmosphere of these children facing adventures together with each other. But then the Ner chapter strikes, and the Ray pov arrives, and it's like being beaten with a bat in the stomach several times. Deep down, you had always known it; but you suddenly realize that all these children are going to die. And, even worse, there's one child who knows. There's one child who has to assist to everything powerlessly. There's one child, one freaking-nine-years-old who knows that all his siblings are going to die, and there's nothing he can do. That a single mistake could ruin the chances of making just two of his siblings survive, which is everything he's hanging to right now. One child who only needs to be loved. Well that... That hits hard.
Me expressing my thoughts: girl this form is shit you can't write something that is understandable to save your life can you
• Also can we please appreciate Norman taking so long to get out of the forest as it's a recurrent characterizzation of his character to be desperately willing to live just *French chef kiss*
• I really like how the novel underlined how Norman's choice of sacrificing himself corresponded to a betrayal toward his friends (when you think about it, Emma definitely felt betrayed). It's almost like in his last moments Norman chose to switch roles with Ray, taking on his shoulders the burden of being both the traitor and the sacrifice.
Chapter 4
• Norman: * “ He instinctively closed his eyes and abandoned himself to the sweet memory of that time he understood how deeply loved he was. ” *
Somewhere, Ray: Can't relate
• Emma: Norman, what you want to do when you grow up?
Norman: It's a secret.
Me:
• “ Ray woke up before everyone, as usual. ”
A remarkable detail. You'd think Ray, as a good depressed person as he is, would sleep more than the average. The truth is: he doesn't sleep at all.
• Norman: There's... Another person I like
Me:
• OK NOW WHY did none tell me about the nine (9) lines of Norman / Don interacting it was worth reading the novel solely for that.
• WHY DID NONE TELL ME ABOUT DON ALMOST STRANGLING NORMAN AND MAKING HIM LITERALLY PASS AWAY IT WAS TOTALLY WORTH READING THE NOVEL SOLELY FOR THAT
• Reading about Conny being there hurts a lot but reading about Sadie and Hao brings up a totally different kind of pain. Also who the hell is Cindy?
• Norman: Oh yes, Emma and Ray, my most dear friends, my closest siblings, the reason I wake up in the morning, my only reason to live, the ones I'd entrust my life with,
Also Norman: Dunnot in the last thirteen hours and six minutes they have been acting pretty sus, I'm kinda sure they're betraying me somehow ://
• “ «I agree, but it feels like you've fallen down a rabbit hole. You're restless, you constantly look off...» said the raven haired boy, distorting his mouth in an hardly intelligible grimace and giving his friend a meaningful look.
«Norman, about that mysterious girl...»
«No, you're mistaken! I...»
Norman, filled with frustration, raised up his voice, starting to lose the coolness that was usually characteristic of him.
«But I haven't said anything yet!»
That being said Ray, with slightly mocking doing, turned on his feet and went away, leaving Norman like that. ”
I LOVE THIS BIT SO INEXPLICABLY MUCH I'm always *so* in for Oreo finishing each other sentences / reading each other's thoughts. Here, Norman answered Ray's question before he could even expose it, because he already knew what it would have been. Equally, Ray knew what Norman was going to say even though he cut his answer halfway through.
I love how much on the same page they are, they really... Totally and fully understand each other even without words, and I find it so sweet. Seriously, their dynamic is so wholesome
• Norman's last birthday gift: the thing that matters the most to him: his family's happiness
Emma's reward: the thing that matters the most to her: her family's happiness
Some things hit harder than others.
• I don't know like. When you read the novel after the series has ended, everything hurts so much more, because you know these are all memories Emma has lost forever.
• So you made colorful clothing by "coloring old clothes"? Have fun realizing y'all have celebrated Norman's birthday wearing your dead siblings' clothes
Bonus this epic note I randomly took I completely forgot the context of:
• Isabella is a bitch. I don't give a fuck about your dramatic past woman, leave that boy alone
(When the protect Ray mood hits™)
#tpn#the promised neverland#a letter from norman#tpn norman#tpn emma#tpn ray#full score trio#oreo#tpn analysis#mine#I don't even like Stark I just used the gif for the sake of reactions#I should have used facepalming Ray™ instead#Let me know if you want my reactions for the second novel as well!!!#tpn novels
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for writing prompts, maybe borrower!emma telling paul about some of her adventures?
"It was like, the second biggest bird I'd ever encountered!"
"What was the first then?"
It was a calm night in Paul's apartment. He was in bed, listening to the recently-moved-in Borrower girl- Emma, recall stories from her thirteen years of living in the Witchwood Forest. They had a sort of routine going now. Once he and Emma had upgraded from "friendly passing acquaintances" to "actual friends", Emma started sneaking out at night to visit Paul in his bedroom after her brother-in-law and nephew went to bed.
Her first visit had definitely been a surprise, but a pleasant one. Ever since Paul realized he had Borrowers in his apartment, the whole place felt a little less lonely. And befriending one of them only helped in that regard. So Paul always looked forward to Emma's nightly visits. Something about talking to this tiny, adventurous woman just made him happy. And Emma always had a lot to talk about.
"The first biggest bird I'd ever encountered?" she echoed back to him, absentmindedly kicking her legs back and forth from her seat atop the screen of Paul's open laptop. She smiled eagerly. "Ohhhh, that's a fun one!"
"Fun? Does that mean it didn't try to eat you?" Paul asked incredulously.
"Oh no, it totally did," Emma replied in a casual tone. "But the circumstances surrounding the encounter were fun."
"Care to enlighten me?"
Emma's eyes lit up with an excited nod. God, Paul loved seeing her get all excited like that. "Okay, so," she began as Paul multi-tasked listening to her story and working on his laptop. "It's a nice, sunny day and I'm walking through the woods, as per usual, right? When suddenly, I hear this weird chittering sound coming from the base of a nearby tree."
"Like a chipmunk kinda chittering?" Paul inquired.
"Paul, it's a story about a bird, not a chipmunk, stay focused," Emma snickered. "But yeah, I get to the tree, and I see this massive hawk stuck in a hunter's trap. So at first I thought, 'Good riddance, one less bird for me to worry about'. But then it made eye contact with me."
"So you decided to help it out of guilt?"
Emma sighed. "Yep," she responded. "So I approach this fuck-off huge bird and take out my sharp stone- I told you about that, right?"
"Mhm." Paul replied with a nod.
Back when Emma lived in the woods, she apparently carried around a pebble she'd somehow managed to sharpen as a weapon of sorts. For a time, anyway. At some point, she swapped it out with what she referred to as "her lucky pin", a green-ball-end pin that she used as a makeshift sword. Paul still wasn't sure how she'd acquired it, considering she'd apparently gotten it while still in the forest, but she brings it with her everywhere. Even as she sat atop Paul's laptop, it was hanging off the skirt of her hand-fashioned dress of torn burlap.
"Okay, so anyways," Emma continued. "I slowly cut through the netting of the trap with my stone, avoiding the bird's wings as it thrashed around like a madman. And after like, thirty minutes, I manage to free the damn thing. And you wanna know how this ungrateful dick repays me for saving it's life?"
"Did it try to eat-"
"It tried to fuckin' eat me!"
Paul couldn't help but smile at how huffy she'd suddenly gotten. Emma could be very adorable when she got angry or impassioned over something in her stories, no doubt due to her tiny stature.
"So, I'm running from this stupid-huge bird that's now limping after me, positive that I'd be done in by my own hubris," Emma continued on. She paused, looking like she was pondering something before looking back at Paul. "Is that the right word? Hubris?"
"Um-"
"Well, whatever the case, I'm running for my goddamn life," Emma cut him off. "And who should jump in to save me but that raccoon I told you about yesterday?"
"No shit!" Paul exclaimed, caught off-guard by the twist the story had taken.
"Yes shit!" Emma retorted. "Apparently I'd been closer to her den than I realized, and she heard the commotion!"
Emma then halted her story, pausing to release a yawn and stretch her arms. Again, adorable.
"Tired?" Paul asked.
"Yeah, a little," Emma muttered in reply, rubbing at her eyes. "I should probably head back in a little bit."
Paul hummed nervously, hoping that what he was about to say wouldn't come off as weird. "You could stay here for the night," he suggested. "I-if you want, I mean."
"You sure?"
"I'm sure, Emma."
"Wh-what if I'm still here when Tom and Tim wake up in the morning?"
"Well, what time do they usually wake up?"
Emma tapped her chin in contemplation. "About an hour before you leave for work, I think?"
Paul smiled softly. "Then I'll make sure you get home before then." he assured his tiny guest.
A mischievous grin slowly spread across Emma's face. "Alright, why not?" she decided. "What Tom doesn't know, won't hurt him!"
"Ignorance is bliss!" Paul agreed as Emma dropped down behind his laptop. He could feel her walking on the blanket covering his legs before he shut his computer, and set it on the nightstand beside him. Emma had moved so that she was leaning against his covered leg. "It's probably best you sleep on the nightstand or something, I don't wanna roll over and crush you in my sleep."
"Well, then what am I gonna use as a blanket?"
Paul took a moment to think over her question before getting an idea. "I'll be right back, I'm gonna get my scarf from the closet."
Emma moved aside to let Paul maneuver himself out from under the covers and stand up. As he searched his closet, he couldn't help but feel butterflies in his stomach. She really felt safe enough with Paul to sleep in the same room as him! After retrieving his greenish-gray scarf, he turned around to see that Emma had already hopped from Paul's bed to the nightstand, and was now lying down on his closed laptop. Her lucky pin had been set aside, sitting just beside the laptop. She glanced over at him expectantly.
"Are you sure that'll be a good mattress?" Paul snickered as he began to fold up the scarf.
Emma shrugged. "I mean, it's warm," she said. She giggled and rolled her eyes as Paul continued to struggle to fold up the scarf in a way that would make it a serviceable blanket. "Enough with that folding shit, just plop it down over here, I'll make it work."
With a shrug and a huff of "Alright, if you say so", Paul gently set his scarf on the laptop, curious to see how Emma would make it work. Within minutes, she'd managed to twist it into a nest-like formation, and bundled herself up in it.
"G'night, Paul." she murmured sleepily, snuggling into the soft fabric of the scarf.
"Goodnight, Emma," Paul chuckled softly as he shut the lamp off, shrouding the bedroom in darkness. "Sweet dreams."
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A Kiss for Good Luck (13/16)
Summary: So this is the story of one born lucky, and one born unlucky. Fate will keep making them cross paths, but is it to bring them together, or to test them? Captain Swan AU.
A/N: With this chapter, two more and the epilogue left, I decided to post them day by day! You can expect the next and final updates on Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday :D
Rating: T (make sure you’re okay with the warnings on AO3)
Word count for this chapter: 3.6k (51k in total)
AO3
Read from the beginning: Tumblr | AO3
~
Chapter 13: Emma Swan, May 25th – June 22nd 2016
Emma smiles wide as she watches Killian go to the end of the now huge line to the airport checkpoint. He went back just to give her a kiss, and a part of her is delighted to realize she adores this hopelessly romantic side of him.
He doesn't turn to look at her, but the place is too crowded anyway, and she decides to go back, grab a coffee and wait to watch his plane leave. Instead, Killian's flight is delayed for a few hours. She texts him about it, whether he wants to cross back and join her, but he simply tells her to not worry and go back home.
It sours her mood a little; it may be a bit late in the day, but there's no reason for him to spend all this time alone, and if she judges by the plain tone of his message he doesn't even want to chat until he leaves.
Odd. First he gives up being first in a long line just to kiss her, then he doesn't even want to talk to her.
Perhaps he just wants to rest or sleep until his flight leaves. Emma tries to ignore the insistent little voice in her head that has never truly disappeared since Neal left her.
She turns the radio on while in her car and catches a blues station. The slow music and the complete lack of traffic back to her place calm her thoughts.
She stays up, checking on Killian's flight until it departs, hoping it doesn't mean a thing that Killian himself didn't tell her that his plane was finally leaving.
The next day is easy, checking off a few good cases, and in the evening she meets Ruby for a few drinks.
“So,” Ruby says with a meaningful look, “how was your week?”
Emma sighs happily, and it's with Ruby's smile turning warmer that she remembers she actually had a fantastic time. She's worrying too much.
“It was great. It felt... right, you know? I was a bit scared, but the moment we met at the airport made everything else not matter. He was here, and we could really enjoy our time together...”
Ruby's nodding enthusiastically. “And? How was it?”
“It was... warm and fuzzy...” Emma gives a good look at Ruby, suddenly realizing what she's asking about. “I told you we weren't ready for that.”
“Even after the whole week?”
“I mean, I spent most of my nights looking at my bedroom door and wondering whether I should go and ask him... but it wasn't just me.”
“I admire your patience. And his. And how about him? What do you think it was like for him?”
“I'm not sure, honestly.” Her face falls.
“What happened?”
“Up until the last day, I could swear it was as good for him as it was for me. I mean, he came, right? He chose to. And he looked happy to be here, with me. But a few hours before he had to leave, he seemed restless and anxious.”
“Because he was leaving?”
“I don't know. I...” She sighs. “He hasn't contacted me to let me know he's arrived safely. But I checked Messenger a few hours ago and it said he's been active today.”
“Did you send him a text about it? It would be weird for him to just forget but sometimes it just happens.”
“Should I send one, you think?”
“Yeah. Maybe he was really busy today. What did you say his job is?”
“His father has a boat rental, and sometimes he takes passengers on cruises.”
“Well, tourist season is kinda starting. Send him a message. But, you know, try to not sound desperate.”
“Ugh. I feel as if I'm in a teenage rom-com.”
She sends her message. Early the next morning, she sees his reply; a plain “Aye, I was busy, sorry for not letting you know,” and compared to his message from before his flight right above that, she can't help wondering.
She didn't have a cell phone as a teenager, and she hadn't allowed herself anything longer than one-night stands after Neal, so it's the first time in her life she has to look at her phone and keep telling herself to not call first.
She takes walks by the sea, seeing the yachts and boats and thinking of Killian. He mentioned how it had been his choice to work on his father's boats, how he loved that job where there's always a view of the sea.
Having practically grown up in Boston, Emma knows well the feelings that endless blue can bring. For Killian, they must be even stronger. The feeling of freedom and calmness and strength at the same time...
She knows he's facing his own issues, he's been open to her about them. His lonely adolescence, his grief, his drinking problem.
She decides to take a walk there every day, to remind herself to give Killian the same space that the sea gives him. Maybe he's out there at the same time, looking at the sea the same way she does.
He manages to call her within a week, though due to his bad connection, they don't share video this time. Or the next. Or the next.
“Remember how I told you I felt I was in a rom-com?” she tells Ruby when they meet one day for coffee. “I hope that at least I'm the protagonist and not the third wheel.”
“What's going on?”
“I worry too much about his calls. We used to talk every day, from five minutes to whole hours on end. And now he's just too busy, or his connection is bad, or his camera isn't working and I'm not seeing his face. But he keeps calling me back, not as often, and not as much, and he doesn't even say as much as he used to, but he's initiating calls on his part. Sometimes he doesn't reply when I call him...” She covers her face with her hands.
Ruby is patiently waiting for more, and Emma isn't sure which more to choose. Killian had trusted her with his history about getting involved with a married woman and she's not ready to betray that just to provide a possible proof that he may be cheating on her.
“We decided to take things slow,” Emma said. “We weren't shy on kisses while he was here, but it didn't go further than that. Do you think he may not consider it cheating, if...”
“If he didn't consider it cheating – if he even is cheating on you – he wouldn't be hiding like that. And taking things slow is different than having an open relationship.”
“I don't know.”
“Emma, if he didn't see it so seriously, would he have come all this way just to spend a week with you? While respecting your wish to not get intimate?”
“He said that's what he wanted as well.”
“So what, is his masculinity so fragile that instead of respecting your wishes, he would fake not being ready for sex? Is he that kind of person?”
Emma is silent.
“You do realize it would take a deep kind of crazy to only want to get laid, then come all this way and agree to not get laid.”
Fair point. “I just wish I knew what it was that tipped him that way. It's... you know, on his last day here, we were talking about our first kisses, and we realized we actually were each other's first kiss.”
“What? You're serious?”
“I know, of all people, right? And I have an inkling he might have been freaked out by that.”
“How did it happen?”
“It was a game of spin the bottle. It was as innocent as it could get at eleven.”
“Did you ask him about it?”
“Yeah. When he was still here, though. I mean, at first he laughed, just as I did, then his face fell, and I asked him if he felt weird about it, and he said no, just that he didn't want to leave. Ugh.” She hangs her head. “That's not a rom-com. That's a soap opera.”
“Maybe he's going through something? Problems with work, family?”
“He hasn't mentioned anything. He said he hasn't talked to his fathers in a while. But, he's shared more serious stuff with me. If something was upsetting him so much... I can't imagine how serious something must be for him to not want to share it with me. And I don't know how much time to give him. Will I sound desperate? Like a stalker? If I take too long, will I seem insensitive?”
“I'm sorry, honey.”
“He's calling me, Ruby. He's not trying to cut off, and he's not trying to appease me either. I'm sure he knows I can hear that he's hiding something. What am I meant to make out from that?”
“Maybe confront him with the fact that you know something is up. Just put it on the table. Say that he doesn't have to explain it to you if it doesn't involve or concern you, just to stop pretending there's no elephant in the room.”
“Sounds simple enough, I guess.” She sighs. “Perhaps it was too early? We've only known each other for seven months.”
“Too early for what? You're not engaged or something. You can work things out.”
Emma nods. “Thank you. Sorry for unloading all that on you.”
“That's what friends are for.” She takes her hands in hers. “I've got lots to talk about, if you want a distraction.”
Emma has had a wonky fortune in her life; she's glad she happened to meet Ruby during one of the good times.
The next day, while she's still growing the courage to confront Killian about acknowledging at least that there's something going on, Ingrid calls her. She's joined by Elsa, who excitedly tells Emma she wants to join Ingrid in her next trip to Boston that summer – they will, of course, stay in a hotel close by so she won't be a bother.
“Maybe we'll go somewhere nice all three of us,” Emma says. “I actually bought a lottery ticket and I have a good feeling about it.”
“Oh, if you have a good feeling about it,” Ingrid says, then turns to Elsa. “You cannot imagine how lucky she was as a teenager.” She then bursts into chatter in Norwegian, and even if Emma could understand more than a few words here and there, she would still be lost in thought.
She was indeed quite lucky as a teen. In fact, the luckiest day of her life, as she'd described it to Killian, had been just the beginning of five great years.
Until her first trip to England, where she met the pirate boy.
Wait...
“Emma?”
She starts, looking back at her camera.
“Sorry, dear, I got carried away,” Ingrid says.
“We will try to use more English when we're there,” Elsa says with an apologetic smile.
“No, it's alright. Ingrid, can you remind me when you actually got your first visa? I mean, in the recent years.”
“Uh, a few days before I contacted you. The first time.”
“Do you remember how many days?”
Ingrid huffs in thought, but turns to her with a smile. “Such sudden curiosity. I'm not sure exactly, three? Four? Less than a week, for sure.”
Too close to the day she kissed that stranger at the club... the only one she didn't see around when the police was asking for witnesses, if they saw who shot that man at the hand and killed his lover.
“Emma?”
Emma takes a deep breath and does her hardest to fake a smile. “Nothing. It's... something about work.”
“Everything alright?”
“Yeah, yeah. Nothing to worry about. When do you think about visiting?”
After a short chat, Ingrid gets the message and leaves Emma with her thoughts. Emma's hands are shaking; the lottery results will be out in two days and they can't come fast enough.
She runs out, resorting to buying a scratch ticket from a nearby kiosk. She scratches it and stares at it, nearly frozen.
Five dollars.
Emma looks around, looks at the sky, then at her phone. Her weather app clearly shows rain, but there's not a single cloud in the sky.
She is lucky. Things have been going quite well for her. Suddenly so, in fact. Just a month or so ago, she would be getting splashed by cars and losing spare change and...
And then Killian visited her.
She walks slowly back to her apartment, and somehow it doesn't come as a surprise that thunder rumbles outside right as she closes her door.
She sits on her couch, watching the rain pour outside her window.
She had a serving of quite a bad luck the first eleven years of her life. Then she met Killian at that birthday party, they shared an innocent kiss, and that very same evening Ingrid told her she would be adopting her.
Shortly after that Killian's mother died, his father left them, and his brother passed too a few years later.
She stands up, pacing around her living room.
He lived in London at the time. At the exact time she visited for Halloween, that fateful year, that she was left alone and Killian... was adopted? He had mentioned being almost too old to be adopted.
He said it hadn't been him at that party, but he didn't sound convincing, and at the time Emma brushed it off, but... if it really had been him...
Then the night of the shooting at the club. She doesn't remember that stranger's face, but their kiss was too close to him getting shot and Ingrid's visa getting accepted.
A shiver runs down her spine as she remembers the screams of that night. The screams of a man who got shot in the hand... a hand that Killian doesn't have.
Emma's nearly gasping for breath, her hands shaking again as she forces herself to sit back down at the couch.
After that, it was some good years for her, and Killian was lost in his grief, alcohol, and a bad relationship later on.
Then they met at the concert, where right after their kiss, she dropped her phone, cracking its screen.
She looks at it now. The crack is still there, but something tells her getting a new phone screen – or a whole new phone – won't be a problem a few days from now.
She feels a weight set on her shoulders as she goes back to Killian trying to convince her it wasn't him at the Halloween party.
He knows. Somehow, he does, though she doubts he found out much earlier than the moment they realized they were each other's first kiss.
And second.
The weight becomes a sudden void; the pirate boy's look nearly haunted her for years; fifteen years later, she felt a similar sensation at the way Killian looked at her in the concert.
It was the same look, by the same person.
She shakes her head. It's silly. Can it truly be, that they brought good and bad luck to each other, just by kissing?
Then she remembers how he left, when there was no-one in front of him at the queue, to get back to her and give her a last kiss, and didn't come back to join her when his flight was being delayed, because he knew there would be kissing involved if he did.
Tears fill her eyes. He left his luck with her.
And things have been going well for her. How has he been... when both times he got unlucky, people he loved died?
She keeps looking at her phone, wondering if she should call Killian about it, ask him if everything's okay.
Instead, she picks it up and starts looking for the cheapest flight to England she can afford, as soon as possible.
She can't tell Killian; he'll try to stop her, pretend that he's not in Brighton, that he'll be busy...
She finds the envelope with which he'd sent her her Christmas present; she'd kept it in case she'd want to surprise him with a gift back. The return address doesn't include the apartment number, but surprising him in the building entrance will have to do.
She books a flight for three days from now, and of course is not surprised to earn two thousand dollars at the lottery, nor to be promoted to a business class seat thanks to travel miles.
She's grown used to really enjoying flights, but this time she's too nervous to sit back and relax.
He figured out everything before she did. All he had to do was time their kisses right, then leave with his luck on his side. Forever.
But he didn't. He wouldn't. Emma may not know him that long, but she doesn't think he's capable of that. And that's why she's in this plane now.
There's a small part of her that wonders what she's going to do when she comes back. Will Killian actually let her leave without his luck? Will he follow her back? Will they just spend all their money in the effort to be the most selfless one?
She sighs in frustration. That's not something she took into consideration when she agreed to start such a long-distance relationship.
As her luck would have it, everything goes better than smoothly, and courtesy of having slept on her comfortable seat, she doesn't even feel tired from the trip.
It's just starting to get dark when she arrives in Brighton, and she contemplates going straight for her hotel and 'confronting' Killian the next day. But her note with Killian's address on it is right inside her jacket pocket when she gets in the cab, and she can't help herself. The moment she approaches his apartment block, someone happens to exit and smiles to her as he holds the door open for her.
Of course he would. She settles herself and her holdall on the stairs, sends one 'Hey, call me when you see this' to Killian, and waits.
After a couple of hours she starts wondering whether she really is all that lucky, or if it was all in her imagination. The stairs aren't too comfortable and she's slowly getting bored. There's only so much Candy Crush she can handle.
Her eyes look up every single time she sees someone even approach the entrance from outside, and again, everyone who enters or exits simply smiles at her and goes on their way.
She's about ready to give up and head for her hotel when he finally appears. He's looking down, his visibly longer hair falling in front of his face as he takes a bit too long to open the door. She contemplates going to open it herself, but he makes it and starts for the stairs, stopping at the first step and looking up slowly.
His slow reflexes, his slightly staggering step, his tired, sad face...
He was out drinking.
Coming like this was a horrible idea.
“Killian...” she says, making sure her voice sounds worried and not judgmental.
He just stares at her, looking confused and very tired.
“I know this looks weird,” she says. “I've had some time to think and... I'm not stalking you.”
“Wha-” he starts. “How...”
“I'm sorry.” She toys with her hands nervously. “I should have let you know earlier. It was...” Not just impulsive. “Very impulsive. But I would've come soon anyway.”
“How did you know where...” His voice trails off, but she gets the point.
“The gift you sent me for Christmas. The package had your address on it.”
He blinks slowly, and she's not sure he's registering everything she's saying. “Come upstairs,” he says eventually, starting to walk up the steps.
“Wait, really?” She stands up and grabs her bag. “I've booked a hotel-”
“You can take the bed,” he interrupts her. “It's got clean sheets.”
“Killian-”
He gives her a stern look that shuts her up. He's clearly not in the mood for more than just getting to a bed. “Just come.”
She smells the alcohol off of him when he steps closer to her and she wonders whether she should comment on it. Maybe she can ask, somehow, there must have been something that pushed him over.
His apartment looks tidy and smells clean. He sets himself down on the couch, taking off his brace and shoes.
“Is something wrong?” Emma says. “You're...” She pauses. How can she say it?
“Relapsing,” he says plainly. “Why is everyone avoiding that word?”
“Are you okay?”
He shrugs. “Not much to say. I'm tired.”
So hopefully, nothing horrible happened to him or his family.
“I'm sorry,” Emma says again. “I should have let you know I'm coming. I... I'd thought I could surprise you...” What else can she say to excuse such a sudden visit?
Killian lets out a cold, soulless laugh. “Lucky me,” he says, then lies down, eyes closing and breath quickly getting deeper.
His words pull at her heart, confirming that he knows of their mingled fates. She approaches him, kneeling down next to him and touching his hair. It's only been a month and she's already missed feeling how soft his hair is. How she'd love to keep brushing her fingers through it, and not just tonight.
A soft snore comes from him, and she leans forward to leave a kiss on his forehead.
#Emma Swan#Captain Swan#captain swan ff#cs ff#ouat ff#akfgl#captain swan movie marathon#piracytheorist writes
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a small, quick write based on a concept me and @cumholland were talking about aka tom being obsessed with naming your unborn child
the day you found out you were pregnant, not only were your excited, but also shit scared terrified of carrying a little human, who literally depended on you for everything. two hours into the discovery, tom was already talking about names because he felt bad for calling him/her “the bub”. unbeknown to you, he’d ordered not one... not two... not three... but four baby name books, next day delivery, because he couldn’t think (nor spell) to save his life and he already had a name on the tip of his tongue, but he’d be damned if he could get the prefect fitting.
what else you didn’t know, is that he’d ordered the books to your name, so when he’d left for work the next morning and you received the package, your eyebrows knitted together and hands immediately got to work on unwrapping the brown package. you couldn’t help the single tear that left your eye as you studied each individual book, opening each book to a random page and picking a random name each time.
you opened your text conversation to tom, typing the four names you’d let your eyes fall over automatically. it was a while before he replied, but that was normal, considering he was a ridiculously busy movie star with a schedule busier than the moon. but when he did reply, your heart warmed at the names he’d returned, although, you were sure anything he said could make your heart flutter and knees fall weak.
when you got to 12 weeks, you both decided it was more than safe enough for you to officially declare yourself pregnant. the news soon spread far and wide, your friends, family and fans soon learning of the information and the incoming tweets, messages and instagram dm’s soon filled your phone, almost half of them being a suggestion of names. as you and tom sat on the sofa one cosy saturday evening, pizza on your legs and tessa giving the best puppy dog eyes, you started to scroll through the infinite amount of messages whilst suggesting the best choices aloud to tom.
“verity?” you asked, picking all the pepperoni off you pizza, even though you specifically asked for it.
“eh.... kinda old fashioned.” he shrugged, his sweat shorts riding high up his thighs and grey nike sweat top clinging to his body perfectly. it was then, you realised, there was no wonder how you got so pregnant so quick.
“okaaaaay...” you scrolled through more, screwing your face up at some suggestions until you landed on another that caught your eye.
“sophie?”
“nope.”
you sighed, grunting until you found another name. “harper?”
“like the instrument?” he asked, picking the discarded pepperoni from your cardboard box and throwing it into his mouth.
you took that as a no, although you weren't sure if he was being serious. “alfie?”
he was silent for a small while, letting himself finish the spiced pepperoni before washing it down with a neck full of beer. nodding, you could tell he was genuinely thinking about it, as if he was spelling out alfie holland in his head, just like you were. the last bite of his stuffed crust drove you insane, and it was almost like your baby’s name depended on this very decision. “alfie thomas holland.”
that saturday night, four weeks ago, was the last time you and tom had talked about baby names and you thought that was okay, you wasn’t putting any pressure on it. 16 weeks in, your baby the size of an avocado (apparently), tom had to fly across the pacific pond for some work stuff and you hated every minute of saying goodbye. he hated it even more. he hated when he had to say goodbye, even when you weren't pregnant, but now you were carrying a mini tom, he fought with everything he had in him to not leave the country although his pleads were denied. tommy, it’s okay. you assured him, we’ll both be here waiting for you. you’d said, watching him walk away with his lonely suitcase as he boarded the plane. that was all it took for you too pull your phone out and send the message.
two days into tom’s work trip, you were knee deep in contracts and invoices that your boss had sent, with firm instruction that they all must be completed by the time the sun sets. tom was sat in a beauty chair, gushing to his hair stylist how perfect of a mum you’ll be, while you poured yourself a fifth cup of tea. you’d forgotten what a personal phone is, you’d forgotten what daylight looks like and you’d forgotten you were meant to be eating for two, letting the occasional lunch slip your mind. it was nothing new when you email notification sounded, the ping filling the room and making you roll your eyes, yet again. although, further research into the new email made your heart flutter and mouth smile, fully aware it was not from your boss, or let alone, any work colleague.
what about isaac for a boy?
or
evangeline for a girl?
love you soooooOooOooOOoOoO much
ps remember to eat
as a well known instagram poster, it was when you decided to go live that you decided tom was a total doofus, as if you hadn’t considered that summary beforehand. speaking to the zillion and one incoming messages, you answered as many questions as you could, trying to ignore the blue tick that kept appearing in the comments, bold capital letters threatening to take over the screen.
EMMA
IRIS
HUNTER
HANG ON...
NIKKI
BC MY MUM
in the midst, was a thousand and one people commenting how cute he was, only spurring him on to comment more names and as much as you tired to ignore it, you couldn’t. it was hard to answer any normal questions, your entire feed flooded with baby names and comments about tom and of course you weren’t mad, by any stretch of the imagination, but for once you though instagram might pull you back into normal life.
MARIE
LIKE THAT CAT
you finally gave in one night, agreeing to join tom at one of his live interviews and although you wouldn’t be appearing on the screen as such, you felt nervous for being in front of such a large audience and crew. tom had stayed with you as much as he could, before hair and make up beckoned him but even then, you stayed with harrison, who was able to calm you nerves and keep your mind occupied.
tom, of course, appeared on the guest sofa looking like a complete snack as always, leaving you pining behind the camera. it began with many questions about the film, but when the guests had drunk a couple of sips of whiskey, the collars started to loosen and questions started to flow.
“so, tom, we have a name generator....” the host pulled out a fish bowl, full of folded up pieces of paper. “and we think, whatever you pull out you should name your unborn child...”
tom immediately looked for you, finding you just behind the camera man with a shocked, but amused expression. when you nodded, tom knew it was more than acceptable for him to play along, giving everyone what they wanted. his hand dipped deep into the bowl as he secretly wished for a name that he hoped would not only be super cute, but one that you'd already chosen together. he pulled out a single paper, the crowd and host on the edge of their sit as he unfolded.
“thomas jr... really?!”
tom taglist: @imaginashawnns @fallinallincurls @mendesficsxbombay @cosmicholland
also thank u to @shawnsmoose for providing my drunk ass with names lmao
#tom holland#tom holland blurb#tom holland imagine#tom holland oneshot#tom holland fic#dad!tom#dad!tom holland#dad!tomholland
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Twisted Fate prompt 78) “I love you.” “You shouldn’t.”
These prompts have been sitting in my inbox since last August XD. I’m sorry, it took ages for these two to actually start talking about their issues.
[AO3]
x
Belle had known that a broken arm would be tricky to manage, but she hadn’t realised how helpless she was without Gold around to assist her. Getting dressed was the first obstacle, and she struggled to get out of her nightdress and into her underwear. She discarded any thought of attempting to put on a bra, and after weighing her options, decided on simple sweatpants, a camisole and cardigan. Even brushing her hair with her left hand took some getting used to.
He had left early, so quietly that she hadn’t heard him go, but when she entered the kitchen she found the coffee maker ready to go with decaf, the lid off the tea canister and cooked sliced mushrooms and onions alongside a plate of grated cheese and a bowl containing beaten eggs. The makings of an omelette. It made her smile.
She managed to make the omelette, although it wasn’t about to win any prizes for looks by the time it was on her plate, and ate it at the table with some tea, following it up with decaf coffee and one of the oat and raisin cookies he had made the previous day. Checking the fridge made her smile again; he had portioned up the food he had cooked, glass dishes containing macaroni cheese all ready to go in the oven and beef in red wine in plastic tubs ready for the microwave or to be tipped into a pan.
She spent her day reading and relaxing, rubbing her belly whenever the baby kicked. It was starting to get more uncomfortable the closer she got to her due date. She tried to look ahead six months, when the baby was on the outside, crawling around the apartment. Would Gold still be there? Probably not; she imagined he would move into his own place as soon as her arm was healed, seeing the baby according to the terms in the thick sheaf of documents that she had still not signed. The thought made her feel incredibly lonely.
Emma popped in to see her at lunchtime only briefly, staying for a cup of cocoa and helping her to tie up her hair. She promised to return after class with Neal and Henry, and so by six-thirty they were all seated around the kitchen table, eating their way through Gold’s macaroni cheese.
“This is so good,” said Henry, scraping his plate. “It’s got about a ton of cheese in it. Mom, you should make it like this next time.”
“Thanks,” said Emma dryly. “I thought you liked my mac and cheese.”
“I do, but you always say ‘is that enough cheese’ and I feel like I have to say yes, and it never is.”
“Wow - thanks for the honesty, I guess,” remarked Emma, taking a drink of her wine. Belle and Neal chuckled.
“You can tell Gold it was a hit,” added Neal, digging a fork into his own food. “It’s comforting. Kinda tastes like home, you know?”
“He’s an annoyingly good cook,” said Belle, in a flat tone.
“Why, that sneaky son of a—” Neal glanced at Henry. “Uh - well, you know what I mean. Belle, somehow I doubt it’s all part of an evil scheme. Maybe he just thinks you need to eat some good food.”
“Yeah, I know I sound unreasonable,” she sighed. “I don’t know where my brain’s at right now. This morning I was wondering how the hell I’d cope on my own, and - and that maybe I’ll miss him when he’s not here and it’s just me and the baby. It’s - it’s like I resent the fact that he’s stepping up, and I don’t really understand it. I don’t know, maybe I’m just being emotional.”
She poked at her food, feeling despondent.
“You resent that he’s making you feel things?” said Emma, with a knowing look in her eyes, and Belle pulled a face.
“Maybe.”
“Can’t be angry with him anymore, and you still feel like you should be?”
Belle put down her fork.
“Okay, did you take psych class today or something?”
Emma put a hand over hers, grinning.
“I get it, that’s all,” she said. “Don’t get too hung up on what you think you should be feeling. Do whatever’s best for making you happy.”
Belle thought about that for a moment.
“I’m not sure what that is,” she said eventually, and Emma shrugged.
“Give it time.”
There was silence except for the scraping of plates while they finished up, and Neal offered to wash up. Dessert was ice cream, brought by Emma, and Henry went to eat his in front of the TV while Neal dried the dishes and Emma finished her wine.
“Do either of you want coffee?” asked Belle. “You’ll probably have to help me make it, but you’re welcome.”
“I could use one,” said Neal, over his shoulder. “Let me make it. You want one?”
“I’ll have tea. Peppermint, I think. The baby’s been kicking so much today it gives me heartburn.”
He dried his hands, and Belle pushed back her chair to go to the bathroom. When she got back the coffee maker was running, and Neal had taken Gold’s old toy rabbit from its place on the shelf beside the fridge. He had a puzzled look on his face as he turned the rabbit over and over in his hands, and Belle was reminded of Gold, and the way he had studied it.
“Where’d you get this?” he asked.
“Oh, it belongs to Alex,” she said. “It’s not for the baby, or anything. It belonged to his son.”
Neal looked up.
“He had a kid?”
“Still does, apparently,” said Belle. “They kind of lost touch.”
“How long ago?” asked Emma.
“I think he said his son was two. It was years ago. I’m - I’m not sure how much he really wants me to talk about it. If at all.”
“Oh. Okay.” Emma looked thoughtful. “But he talked to you about it. That’s good, right?”
“Yeah.” Belle took her seat. “He brought the rabbit with him when he moved in, and although I’d seen it before in his shop, I hadn’t thought anything of it. So I asked him. He was - he was probably the most open he’s been with me. I think it made him uncomfortable.”
“Well, practice makes perfect.”
“Yeah.” Belle reached for her peppermint tea. “Here’s hoping for more of that.”
“Does it make you feel better about how he’ll be with the baby?” asked Neal. “I’m not prying into the guy’s private business, but maybe if he’s had a kid and you know that he loved that kid, it might make you feel a bit easier about this one, you know?”
Belle thought for a moment.
“Yeah, he definitely loves his son,” she said. “I could see it in his eyes. It was kind of heartbreaking, to be honest. So yes, I do think he’ll love our child. I - I think he already does.”
“Have you guys talked about how you’ll divide up caring for the baby?”
“No.” Belle ran her hands over her face, huffing air through her fingers. “He went to his lawyer. Drew up a huge document that I can’t face reading through and told me to get some legal advice.”
“He’s right to say that.”
“I know.” Belle sat back in her chair with a sigh. “I just - I just can’t at the moment. Every time I think about our lives being tied up in clauses and sub-clauses and stupid legal terms, I want to cry.”
Neal and Emma shared a glance.
“Well, I guess since he’s living with you at the moment, there’s no rush,” said Emma reasonably.
“Yeah, plenty of time to lawyer up when he moves out,” added Neal.
“Yeah.”
Belle picked up her tea, feeling subdued, and there was a moment of silence.
“Maybe we can make Fridays a thing,” suggested Emma. “He said he’d be in Maine every week, so we could come over and keep you company.”
“I don’t know if he’ll stick to Fridays.”
“He said he had an appointment to keep,” said Emma. “Said it would be every Friday.”
“An appointment?” Belle frowned. “He never mentioned it. I know he has rent to collect, but I thought he was getting someone to do that for him.”
“Huh. Well, it’s only a suggestion.”
“No, it’s a good one,” said Belle. “I’ll ask him what his plans are.”
“Sounds good.” Emma took a slurp of coffee. “Okay, who’s up for a game of cards? Loser buys dessert next week.”
x
Gold returned when it was almost ten, looking drained and tired, although he greeted her pleasantly. Belle found herself wanting to make him tea and feed him something, and felt a little useless when he insisted on seeing to himself. He made her chamomile tea, and regular tea for himself, along with a sandwich that he made short work of in the kitchen before bringing his tea through to the lounge. She was curled in a chair, a book tented on the arm as she sipped at her drink, and he lowered himself onto the couch, perching on the edge with his elbows resting on his knees, an aura of tension hanging around him.
“How was your day?” he asked. “Did you manage everything okay? Did your friends come over?”
“Yeah, it was fine,” she said. “Your mac and cheese was a hit, by the way. Henry thought it was awesome.”
He smiled faintly.
“Good.”
“We talked about making it a regular Friday night get-together,” she added. “But I wasn’t sure if we could, what with your work thing.”
“My work thing?” said Gold, looking confused.
“Emma said you had a regular appointment in Maine,” she prompted. “So I was wondering if that was gonna be every Friday or not.”
Gold hesitated only briefly.
“I can go every Friday, if that makes it easier for you to organise things.”
“Good.” She took a sip of her drink. “In that case I’ll ask them to come over for movies and popcorn. It’ll be nice to have some company.”
“Right,” he said. “Yes.”
“Which means the rest of the week, we have each other for company,” she said, keeping her tone light. “Which we should make the most of, don’t you think?”
His eyes narrowed a little.
“In what way?”
“I - I thought maybe we could talk some more,” she said. “I thought - well, the conversation we had the other night. I thought that was - useful.”
Gold held her gaze steadily for a moment, then looked away, elbows shifting on his knees, fingers threaded together.
“Yes,” he said. “Yes, it felt like - progress.”
She could sense his awkwardness, and felt the urge to reach out to him, to send him some sort of comfort, even as she battled with her own anxiety, her own hurt.
“So, we should talk,” she went on. “Clear the air. If you’re willing.”
There was a moment of silence, and his jaw tightened a little, his throat bobbing as he swallowed.
“Alright,” he said at last.
Belle set down her tea, letting her feet slip to the floor as she sat forward a little, instinctively moving closer to him, bridging the space between them until their knees were almost touching. She could hear the light sound of him breathing through his nose, and the faintest scent of him was in the air, making her want to close her eyes and inhale deeply.
“I meant it,” she said softly. “What I said the other night, before the accident. I meant it. I love you.”
His mouth was set in a grim line, his eyes downcast as his head shook slightly: the barest denial.
“You shouldn’t.”
Belle sighed, sitting back.
“That’s not how this works,” she said. “That’s not how any of this works. You can’t just tell someone not to love you.”
He was silent, not looking at her, and she shook her head.
“I wanted to hate you, you know,” she admitted. “There were times when I feel like I wish I could hurt you like you hurt me, but I know that if I had the chance I wouldn’t do it.”
“Of course not,” he said quietly. “That’s not who you are.”
“Oh, I have my moments,” she said. “Pretty sure I’ve cursed you out a hundred times since we broke up.”
“Well, I imagine I deserved it.”
“Yeah.”
She looked at her hands, folded together in her lap, and there was a moment of silence. Glancing up, she could see that Gold’s attention was on the floor at his feet, the space between the toes of his shoes. She wondered what he was thinking.
“I was so hurt, for so long,” she said. “Devastated. And - and after that I got angry. Maybe I still am, I don’t know. I - I keep thinking irrational things, and I don’t always realise that I’m being unreasonable.”
“I don’t think you’re unreasonable,” he said, and took a deep breath. “You said you didn’t trust me. That - that stayed with me, Belle. I’ve thought about it a lot.”
“Oh.” She wasn’t sure how to feel about that. “Right.”
“There again, given what I did,” he went on. “I - ah - I don’t suppose I’ve given you much reason to.”
More silence, but somehow it was deafening, as though the space between them was screaming at her. She had to speak, to bridge the gap, to voice her pain.
“You know, that was the worst of it,” she said softly. “Not the things you said, so much, awful though they were. It was more that you felt you could say them. Maybe I’m not making sense, I don’t know…”
He looked up then, his eyes warm, filled with what might have been pain and regret.
“Tell me,” he said. “I need to hear it.”
Belle chewed her lip, trying to organise her thoughts.
“I thought I knew you,” she said. “You didn’t give me much to work with, don’t get me wrong, but the little I got made me think that you - cared - for me. And - and that was okay, because even though you never said it, I felt it. I knew.”
She paused, choosing her words. His mouth had twisted a little, pain etched in the lines around his eyes.
“I’ve always felt that I have a sense about people,” she said. “That I can see past the surface, see what’s inside. So when you did what you did, not only did I realise that I didn’t know you, but it was like I lost my sense of who I was, too.”
Gold nodded slowly.
“Like you couldn’t trust your instincts,” he said. “Couldn’t trust yourself.”
“I - I guess so.”
“Yes.” He dropped his eyes again so that he wasn’t quite looking at her, but at his fingers, laced together. “And that’s why you can’t trust me, either.”
“Uh…” She shifted uncomfortably. “Yeah.”
Gold nodded.
“I understand,” he whispered.
“I want to,” she added. “I want to trust you. I hate this - all of this - between us.” She gestured with a hand, back and forth. “I want it to be better. I do.”
Gold looked up again, smiling a little.
“So do I,” he said. “I’m trying, Belle. I - I know it might not feel like it, but I am.”
He dropped his eyes again, but she sensed he still had more to say, so she remained silent. Gold opened his mouth, looking a little pained.
“It - it wasn’t work,” he said hesitantly, and Belle frowned.
“What?”
“In Storybrooke,” he said. “I said I had to go there for work. That was only partly true. I can sort out the things I need to for my business remotely, I don’t need to go there.”
Belle blinked, surprised.
“Oh,” she said.
More silence. She held her tongue, waiting for him to fill it, and Gold took a breath, his brows lifting a little in the middle, giving him an anxious, somewhat helpless expression.
“I’m going to Storybrooke each Friday because I have a regular appointment,” he said heavily. “To see Dr Hopper. For - for therapy.”
“Therapy?” Belle felt her eyes widen. “Really?”
“Really.”
He caught her eyes very briefly with his before ducking his head again. She wanted to smile, a sense of relief flooding through her. Finally. Finally he asked for help.
“How’s it going?” she asked, and he sighed, that helpless look briefly returning.
“Well, it’s early days,” he said. “It’s - it’s not easy. But there again nothing worthwhile is, so they say. I’m going to keep trying. He’s - I think he’s probably very good at his job.”
“Yeah.” Bless Dr Hopper. If anyone can help, he can. “Well, I’m proud of you.”
Gold looked up sharply, a stricken expression on his face, and she smiled warmly.
“I really am,” she said sincerely. “I’m proud of you. I know how hard it must be to ask for help. It - it makes me feel like you’re really serious about making things better.”
A flicker of a smile at the corners of his mouth.
“I am,” he said. “I promise.”
He held her gaze for a moment, that tiny smile making his eyes gleam. It reminded her of happier times, and there was a lurch deep in her belly at the memories. Gold eventually glanced away.
“We should go to bed,” he said, and threw up a hand as Belle raised her eyebrows. “Oh, I - I didn’t mean we should go to bed, although - okay I did mean that, but I didn’t mean together, I meant - I meant to sleep, that’s all. I meant – oh fuck it, I’ll shut up.”
He sighed, letting the hand drop, and Belle giggled a little, eyes sparkling.
“Sleep sounds good,” she said, and he smiled.
“Right,” he said. “Well.”
He pushed to his feet, grasping his cane and holding out a hand to pull her up. Belle swayed in his grip a little, smiling up at him.
“Goodnight, Alexander,” she said softly.
“Goodnight.”
She let her hand slip from his, picking up her tea and making her way towards the bedroom, feeling his eyes on her back. Slowly, very slowly, they were making progress.
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Three Days ~ 59
~*~Emma~*~
The lake had been fun. It was initially awkward, but after we loaded into the boat and were underway it got better. I snagged a spot up front in the bow. I was joined by three girls, now women, I’d known well in high school. We started by talking about our current lives and by the time we'd found a spot to anchor we were telling old stories and laughing through our memories. Once the four of us had reconnected the others were easy with conversations and groupings overlapping. An hour later it felt like old times. There were lots of pictures taken and we were texting them to each other immediately. I posted some on Instagram and sent some directly to Sebastian. I had no problem posting bikini-clad pictures of me in a group, but solo went only to him. I've never been one for posting me. It's usually an activity with people.
There was a dock near the southeast border of the lake for gassing up and they had a sandwich shop. Sandwich included hot dogs, hamburgers, french fries, and onion rings. We decided to eat at the picnic tables. Stowing food was more to pack up and could stink. We were relaxing and waiting for the last ones to finish when my notification went off. Chris Evans was asking permission to follow my account. Interesting. Approved. Not a minute later so was Chace Crawford. Also approved, but with a snarky DM about his pickup lines. He'd hit on me at Kirk's wedding. Very unsuccessfully.
Emma ~ Tell Chris hi and nice to meet him.
Sebastian ~ We’re not talking about you. Much. Ok, we are. Sebastian ~ We're mostly looking at pictures.
Emma ~ The ones on your phone are much better than IG
Sebastian ~ Chace will be the one to figure that out.
Chris DM'd me, “Can't wait to meet you in person. Hearing very sweet things.”
I sent back, "A few are true. He exaggerates."
"Yeah, he's got a huge crush on you."
"Nice to know."
We watched sunset out on the water. It was beautiful. The haze and clouds made for muted pinks, purples, blues, and grays. I took a dozen of those hoping to catch the perfect one. I was in a group of people, but the sunset had me feeling lonely. It was fleeting and I was back into the party spirit quickly.
Amy thought it was a good idea to take everyone back to our house for a pool party. I did not agree. Our parents were home babysitting their granddaughter and we were about to invade with a hoard of drunk friends. All of whom were inviting more and asking them to pick up booze. It felt very high school and in need of at least a phone call. However, it was Amy’s idea and no one wanted to hear from me last night. I wouldn’t be calling ahead.
I went inside to go to the bathroom and ran into dad. "What's all that noise we just got Katie in bed?"
"Amy invited some friends back to the pool."
"You’re teenagers again."
"Seems like it."
"Try and keep it down."
"I will tell her." Not my party. Not my crowd control. I did my business and went back outside. Amy was making out with Max in the pool. I tapped on her head, breaking their kiss, "Dad said to keep it down."
They went back to kissing. I'd deemed my message delivered and headed to the bar, putting in the code and retrieving a bottle of tequila. When I stood up, I was surprised to see Kai on the other side of the bar. Kai was the boyfriend who broke up with me after rehab. Kai's hands were shoved in the pockets of his swim shorts. He nodded toward the group, "Amy said you'd be ok with me coming. I wanted to check."
My current plan for Amy’s death was drowning. She was already in the pool after all. I pasted a less than genuine smile on my face, "It's fine, Kai. It was a long time ago. How are you?"
Kai was very southern lawyer attractive. Thinking back, he always had been. "I’m good. I did become a lawyer. Work for a firm here in Alpharetta. I got married three years ago. Her name is Melanie. We're expecting a baby in January."
"Congratulations. That’s wonderful."
He nodded, "Thank you. What are you up to?"
"I teach first grade, love it. I play in a volleyball rec league. My best friend's in a band so I go into the city and visit. My boyfriend lives there too."
Kai laughed, "I might have heard about him."
"I bet. He's a good guy. Lots of fun and good to me.”
"Better than I was, I’m sure."
Ah! This was going to be some sort of apology. I cringed and pulled up my shades for a second, "Well Kai, you did break up will me three days after I got back from rehab. You kinda failed at supportive boyfriend."
"Yeah, I did. Sorry. In hindsight, it was a shitty thing to do. Bad timing and a lie of a reason."
"I knew that."
"Sorry. I’ve always felt guilty."
I smiled, "It was a long time ago, Kai. We've grown up. We're both doing well."
"I wish we could go back to friends again. We were friends since middle school."
I don't think he realized that made it worse. We’d been friends before we were anything else and none of that mattered when he left me. It didn’t matter to me now. “I stopped being angry with you a very, very long time ago, Kai. Forgave you for leaving me when I needed you. But there’s no reason for us to be friends now. I come back a couple of times a year. You and I are strangers now. And while I have forgiven you, I’d never trust you again.” His guilt is not a reason for me to welcome him back into my life.
“Wow.” He looked surprised.
I smiled, “I wish nothing but the best for you.” I leaned back to see under the bar and brought up a couple of glasses. “Drink to old times?”
He looked surprised again. “Yeah, Em.”
“Good.” I poured the tequila and tapped my glass against his. “To happy memories and years of fun times.”
We both drank and he walked around to my side of the bar. It was my turn to be surprised when he hugged me, “I wish nothing but the best for you too, Emma.”
I patted his back, “Thank you.”
Kai let go and walked back toward the pool.
I tell you what, this has been the strangest visit I’ve ever had and that’s saying a lot. I’m starting to get paranoid about what the next three days are going to bring. I poured another tequila and questioned my decision to not hop back on a plane last night. I could be home in my bed or in the city tucked into Sebastian’s bed waiting for him to get home or out with Eli and Angie. All preferable to this mixed bag of what the fuck.
I hung out for another hour before letting Amy I was heading to bed. Family day was supposed to start at about noon. That gave me time to sleep in a little, go for a run, and shower before arrivals started. Of course, because I had time to sleep in, I woke up at my normal time. I texted Sebastian, saying good morning, and was pleasantly surprised when his face showed up on my phone.
“It’s morning, but good is a stretch.”
He looked a little rough, but still handsome. “Good night with the boys?”
Sebastian nodded then winced, “Very.” He filled me in on his night. There’d been lots of laughs and he gave me back story on any conversations. I liked watching him talk. In his hungover state, he was less animated than usual, but his expressions and eyes still conveyed a range of emotions. I laughed at the late-night stories. My favorite was Chris edging between Chace and Sebastian in the bathroom, sharing a urinal with Seb because he couldn’t wait.
My stories weren’t nearly as funny. It’s possible things got out of hand after I’d gone to bed. I’m sure Amy would fill me in. I told him about the conversation with Kai.
“Ouch, you’re tough.”
I rolled to my side, putting the phone against the pillow, “It’s not my responsibility to ease his guilt.”
“True.”
“If we were going to be around each other my response might have been different, but there’s no reason. Haven’t seen him in twelve years, likely won’t for at least that long. We talked at the party, laughed. We’re just not going to be friends.”
“No, no, I get it.” He was shaking his head. “I think you might still be a little angry.”
I laughed, “Maybe I should have been less direct. I wasn’t expecting to see him. More indifferent than angry.”
“I don’t know if you should have. I just don’t want to be on the receiving end of your directness. The indifferent version.” He smiled with his using my word instead of his “angry”. “You were pretty direct with Drew in the bar too. I like you having a little bite.” He looked like he was thinking and I stayed quiet. “You are incredibly kind until you’re not. I mean, I think you give everyone the benefit of the doubt, but once they cross over the line where you don’t trust them you have no problem putting them in their place. That’s a good thing. Sometimes people don’t deserve the benefit of the doubt.”
“Ed tells me I let people get away with too much.”
“Do you think so?”
“Sometimes. I can give too many chances. It all depends on how much I care about someone and the size of the bad behavior. I think I’m usually direct and kind at the same time, but when I’ve had enough, I’ve had enough.”
“I tend to sugar coat too much. Then get pissy when nothing changes and sometimes it’s because I wasn’t clear.”
Now I had a question. “Are you sugar-coating and think I was mean to Kai?”
“I was imagining being on the receiving end. I wouldn’t have liked it, but, no, I don’t think you were mean.”
“You’d have to fuck up a lot.” Sebastian’s opinion was important. “I’m direct with the good stuff too.”
“I know you are.” His blue eyes lit up with his smile. “I always know where I stand, how you feel.”
Not always. Not right now. “You read me bedtime stories when I’m sad.”
“And you ask me what I need when I’m anxious.”
“Quite the pair.”
“Yes, we are.”
We just looked at each other for a long time. “Your flight is at three.”
“Twelve, moved up to squeeze in a dinner tonight.”
I looked at the time on my phone, “You need to get to the airport.”
“Yeah.” He turned the camera where I could see his bags. “All packed. I’ll call you when I get back to the hotel for our date.”
Our phone sex date. I smiled and kissed my screen, “I’ll talk to you later.”
“Definitely.”
I laid in bed for a few more minutes, just enjoying being happy, before I got up and got dressed to go for a run. Mom and dad were already downstairs having coffee. I walked around the table, kissing both of their cheeks, “I’m going for a run before everyone gets here.”
Mom nodded over her cup, “How late was everyone here last night?”
I shrugged, “I went to bed about ten. Long day in the sun and then old friends showing up. I was done. Kai showed up. That was less than fun.”
“You left your sister to manage all your friends?”
Notice how they failed to ask how I was after an unexpected visit from my ex-boyfriend. I know I did. I thought about the conversation with Sebastian and what he’d said about some people not deserving the benefit of the doubt. The other night was the first time I’d been so confrontational with my parents in a very long time. Like since I was sixteen right before I moved to Seattle. I took a deep breath and tried to pull in some of the calmness I’d had upstairs in bed. “Guys, we’re almost thirty, not thirteen. Hopefully, we’ve grown out of getting so drunk we knock over patio furniture and throw up in the pool. If not, they are Amy’s problem. They are her friends, not mine. She invited them over. I haven’t seen most of these people for over ten years. And are you telling me in addition to not talking too much about my boyfriend or anything else that makes me happy, I am also expected to babysit my sister?”
“Emma, you’re overreacting.”
Again, with the fucking overreacting. I’m not an overreactor. If anything, I’m an underreactor. I’m positive I’m not overeating here. I guess it’s nice to know it’s not they don’t like Sebastian and don’t want to talk about him. They don’t want to talk about Kai either and I know they liked him. I muttered, “Unbelievable”, as I headed for the front door.
I ran far longer than I'd planned.
It took a long time to calm my mind and get into the zone. What often happens once I let go of my thoughts and get into a rhythm is that the thoughts organize themselves. When I stopped or during cool down I could see things more clearly. What I saw when I slowed my pace to a walk wasn't pretty. It had been my choice to leave rehab when it was no longer good for me. It had been my choice to call Ed to get me away from here when it was no longer good for me. I don't remember my parents favoriting Amy before that summer. Twenty-three days that strengthened me and weakened Amy. Broke my family and gave me a new one.
Choices, even ones that are good for you, have consequences. A tangled web of choices and consequences have led to now. This isn't my home. My parents' focus, as it had been since I went to Seattle or before, was Amy. I didn't agree with how they sheltered her, but I hadn't been here. In their view I was strong, I was fine, and they didn't have to worry about me. I had another family to worry about me. When I thought about it like this, it made sense. I'd left because being here was a threat to me. Now me being here was a threat to Amy. The situation was fucked. We'd all done the best we could. We still were. If what I'd told Sebastian was true, I wouldn't change anything if it meant I didn't know Ed, Jill, Olivia, and Harper. I had to accept the negatives too. I don't know what that means for the future, but as Ed tells me I put up with things too long sometimes.
I arrived back at the house as everyone was finishing breakfast. I'd separated myself from family time by taking a run. Or maybe I'd taken a run because I was separate from my family. I poured a cup of coffee and joined them at the table, helping myself to the container of Greek yogurt and covering it with berries. Blueberries for Sebastian and raspberries for me. That made me smile.
After I showered Amy and I went to pick up my grandparents. Amy told me what happened after I'd gone to bed, including her and Max having sex on the big round double lounger. I told her... nothing. I didn’t tell her about my fights with our parents, I didn’t tell her about the conversation with Kai. I most certainly didn't tell her about my phone sex date later with Sebastian, the early morning just woke up FaceTime, or how he'd read me Winnie the Pooh until I fell asleep. I hated it. I hated how yesterday we were back to talking like sisters and today it was not. Again, my choice, but I knew she’d tell our parents, which under any other circumstance would be fine, but I could not take any more. I could, but I didn’t want to.
The back yard easily held the gathering of aunts, uncles, and cousins. Kids played in the pool while adults talked with glasses of sangria and bottles of beer. The last stragglers were finishing their drinks when Katie crawled into my lap. She wanted me to take her to bed and read her a story. When the book was done, she curled up next to me, looked up, and said, "I love you, Emma."
I kissed her nose, "I love you, too.”
I joined my parents and sister in the family room. Amy explained they hadn't known how long I'd be with Katie and had started a movie without me. I lied and said it was fine, I'd seen it. There couldn't have been much left when “Dancing Queen” started playing from my phone. I stood up, "That’s Sebastian. He's in Canada. I'm going to take it upstairs. See you in the morning."
Mom yelled after me, "We need to leave at nine-thirty."
"OK." I connected the call, "Hey, baby, how was your flight and dinner?"
"Bumpy."
"Which one?"
"Both." His laughter was a balm that smoothed away the roughness of the day. "How was the barbeque and why can't I see you?"
I shut the door behind me and switched the call to video. "I was waiting until I could get you alone."
Sebastian put his arms across his chest, "What kind of a boy do you think I am?"
"A very handsome one." The top three buttons of his white dress shirt were unbuttoned and his tie hung loosely around his neck. "Damn, you look good."
"So do you."
I was in a plain peach t-shirt. He didn't care. To him, I looked good. I went back to his question, "It was fun. Caught up with lots of family. Watched kids in the pool. Mostly sat with my grandparents. Granny was happy to hold my hand and tell me I’m beautiful."
Sebastian's mouth dropped open in a gasp, "I like doing that too." He turned his head to the side looking over my face, "You don't look sad, but you don't look happy either. What's going on with you?"
I looked up for an answer, "I am accepting the reality of the situation. This isn't really home or really my family anymore. Their priority is Amy."
His face fell, "I’m sorry, baby. What can I do? What do you need?"
I smiled a real smile, "Nothing I don't already have." I could see he was struggling to believe me. "Since we were sixteen, they took care of Amy and Ed took care of me. I didn't realize exactly what that meant. Amy is doing better than she ever has. I always thought that when Amy was better." I stopped myself to figure out how I wanted to say this. "It took me coming home while things are good to realize it doesn't matter. Even if she is fine it's all a house of cards. I expected at some time things would be normal, but it won't be. I am changing my expectations."
"How do stop expecting your parents to support you?"
Good question. "You know why Jimmy and I broke up."
"He cheated."
"My parents do not. Amy didn't until Friday."
"Why not?" Sebastian's sadness for me was tinged with anger.
The list of things my parents didn’t know was long. "Just telling them we'd split. I felt like I might drown. The way they wanted to baby and take care of me felt like an anchor around my neck, like I was incapable of surviving a breakup. When I came here for Christmas, they had all these ideas for my life, but they never asked what I wanted. I knew if I told them he'd cheated it would be ten times worse. Does this make any sense?" It wasn't completely clear to me so how could it be to him.
Sebastian rubbed his fingers over his beard, pulling at the grey patch. "I hurt my knee once. They told me to take it easy for twenty-four hours, ice it, stay off it. Then I had exercises and had to move. Walking hurt like hell but it was the best thing if I wanted to heal. Your parents wanted you on bed rest when what you needed was PT. Support to get on your feet. Support should help, not cripple you."
"Exactly!" I smiled and ran my fingers over the video version of his face. "So not having their support isn’t new. I am working on accepting that's not going to change." I watched Sebastian bite his lip and let it slip free. "What's that about?"
"I feel lucky to know you. I'm so fucking proud of you. You don't get stuck in self-pity; you dig yourself out. It's the difference between seeing yourself as a victim or just someone who had something bad happen. They keep Amy stuck and Ed taught you resilience."
My heart stopped and I forgot how to breathe. Not in the good way. In the almost a panic attack way.
"I can do that with work, most things. Relationships." He scrunched up his face and rocked his head from side to side. "I'm learning."
"I'm not always good at it either." Sometimes I needed my ass kicked.
"That’s ok. I'll be here to help. You're still learning too."
I felt a slow smile form across my face and Sebastian raised an eyebrow. "Aren't you supposed to be teaching me something tonight?"
I fought back the laugh at the way he squeezed his eyes shut and scrunched up his face. It took a good ten seconds for him to come back to me. I let go of the lip I was biting, "You ok there?"
"You cause me physical pain." He chuckled and smiled looking at me.
I don't think he minds all that much. "Where's it hurt, baby?" I dropped the tone and volume of my voice.
He made the face again and pointed his finger at me. "Turn off the camera."
My eyes went wide, "Why?"
"The first time I watch you get yourself off is going to be live."
"You have a lot of phone sex rules, Bastian." Still, I switched the phone to voice only. My screen went dark. I pouted. Not that he could see.
"Stop pouting and tell me what you're wearing."
I resisted the urge to tell him if he let me turn the damned camera back on, I'd show him. I didn't need to be taught how to do this. I was confident I could wing it just fine. What I didn’t know was if this was to be purely descriptive, giving each other instructions, or a role-play. It didn't matter. Any would be fun.
"I have on a peach t-shirt. It's not tight, but it fits against my body. Soft. My shorts are white. If you listen close, I bet you can hear me unzip them," I moved my phone lower to make sure he could. I left the phone by my hip, "I'm going to go ahead and take them off. My legs are smooth against my fingers."
"Take off your shirt too. Tell me about your bra and panties." His voice had taken on the timbre it gets when he's turned on.
"Nothing special. No one to see them. Simple white cotton. They do look nice against my tan."
"Next time we're together I’m licking those tan lines."
"Mmm, I'm looking forward to that. Tell me about you."
"Dressed from dinner. Black pants, long sleeve white shirt, black tie. You saw. Tie undone. A couple of buttons open and sleeves rolled up."
"Unbutton them all, but leave your shirt on. I like you undone. What’s going on with your pants?"
"They're tight. I’m not completely hard."
"Take them off. Rub yourself over your boxers. I love feeling you grow in my hand or my mouth. Your skin is so soft."
"Spread your legs. Touch yourself. Over your panties. I want them wet.” I heard a change in his breathing. Subtle. “I’m hard. Had to adjust my boxers. My cock's up toward my stomach where I can rub the underside. Feels good." He let out a little moan and I could easily imagine the little smile on his face.
"Take your cock out. I've got my hand over my pussy. Massaging myself. Warm. Panties are a little damp. I can tell I'm wet though. I can feel it."
"What's it like, Emma?"
"All the blood’s rushed between my legs. There's an ache, a throbbing, almost like I can feel my heart beating. An itch I need to scratch."
"My hand's around my cock. Slow strokes along the whole length. I flip my thumb over the tip every so often." His breath caught. "Hits the spot, you know the one, sends a jolt, like a shock through me. Feels even better when it's your tongue."
"Fuck. Your talking has me squirming. My hand is in my panties. My middle finger sliding from my clit to inside me. So slippery. How tight is your grip?"
"Tight. Not stroking my length anymore. Turned my hand around where my thumbs against the vein. Holding tight above the middle to the edge of the head. Feels good. Thinking about you touching your clit."
"Moving up and down, kind of slow. Tightening my muscles like you're inside me."
Words stopped, but it wasn't quiet.
Our breathing had synced up and there were these little catches, sighs, and soft moans.
"Faster and firmer now."
"Me too. I'm close."
I might not be able to see him, but I knew exactly what he looked like. His face, his body, were starting to tense.
"Feels good. Not as good as you touching me. Not even close."
"If I was there, I'd put my hand over yours. Feel how you like to be touched. So, I can match it. I'd kiss along your neck, taste you. My other hand, my fingers, barely touching your side, over your hip, across your thigh." The last word was interrupted.
" Em... fuck... yes..." Then a few seconds of silence followed by a long sigh.
"Where are you, baby?"
"Unhooked my bra. Nipples so tight."
"Perfect for me to suck on. I'd use my teeth. Run my hand up your inner thigh. Touching close. I can look down and see you touching yourself. God, how much I want to shove your hand away and taste you. Make you come."
"Oh fuck... Bastian." Everything tightened up then let go.
His voice was in my ear, "Turn your camera back on."
When I picked the phone up off my chest his face was already there. I hit the button and saw my face appear in the small rectangle. "Now you want to see me." I stretched with a contented sigh.
"I always want to see you after you come. The way your mouth is open and you lick your lips. Beautiful."
I rolled to my side, "What's an orgasm feel like for you?"
"Tonight. Mmm, for a while it just felt good. Like any touch, nothing special, except the where. Only more. Then it's like a switch. Goes from feels good to oh shit this is amazing. Starts where I’m touching and spreads down to my balls and lower stomach, base of my spine. It's like tightening a spring until it can't anymore and just let’s go."
"Is sex different? The orgasm."
"Oh yeah." His smile and eyes told me he drifted away a little. "I'll tell you all about it next time we have sex." Sebastian raised his eyebrows expectantly.
"Similar. Like you said just feels good. More of a building for me though. Sometimes it's a slow steady increase. Other times like stair steps. I have to remind myself to relax or I clench my butt and thighs too much."
"I've noticed this. You start to rise off the bed and I have to hold you down." He was clearly enjoying the memory. "Does it change how it feels?"
I nodded, "Tightening up takes the focus away. Eventually, everything gets warm, tingly, and tightens up. Finally, it's like a wave breaking on the shore with muscle contractions."
"I feel those."
"I like the resistance of having something to hold onto." His eyes had questions. I had to search for a workable metaphor. "If you're sitting in a chair and lift your foot you can feel your thigh tighten, but if you're on a leg machine with weights you feel that muscle more."
Awareness hit him, "Really?" I nodded again. "I knew you liked, but I like knowing the why." He laughed, "I love these talks."
I joined in his laughter, "It is fun."
"Hang on a sec." He laid his phone next to him and I could hear him moving around.
"What are you doing?"
Sebastian picked his phone back up, "There was a mess to clean up."
It is so sexy that he told me this. The whole conversation is sexy. Lying in bed a thousand miles apart having a casual chat about a not at all casual topic is sexy as fuck.
"What did you use?" I was amused.
He looked at me with disbelief. Not sure if it was the question or that he was going to answer. "My underwear. They were nearby." He stood up and lifted the tie as he walked. "Can I get rid of this now?"
"Do I get to see your bare chest?"
"Do I get... ok well, there we go. Thank you."
I'd shifted my camera lower and flashed him naked breasts before he finished asking. I moved back to my face, "You're welcome."
He held his phone out where I could watch him free his arm and be shirtless. I made an appreciative noise and he asked, "Enjoying yourself?"
"I am." I hadn’t intended to lick my lips. "I'd like to lay by a pool with you. Or a beach."
"Easily arranged." He stretched out on the bed. "What haven't we done that you want to do?"
"In general, or sex."
He shrugged, "Sex is the topic. Tonight anyway."
"I want you to give me a full body massage that veers off track to a happy ending."
"That will be just as much fun for me." His face showed his interest. "I want you to tie me to the bed, blindfold me, and do whatever you want to me."
I sat up enough to take my bra off, giving him another peek "We're going to need a weekend locked in one of our bedrooms."
"My weekend is free. I think I have company coming Thursday."
"My departure time keeps creeping up to get to you sooner.”
He sang, "Oh what a lucky boy."
“Pretty soon I’ll get there before you, waiting on the floor outside your apartment.” I got hit with a memory, "We need to talk about your birthday. What do you want?"
"Well, that depends on how you feel about birthday sex? I like birthday sex. Not a deal-breaker, not my preference, but fun for a change."
He stretched out on the bed and stuck his phone to his leg. I could see chest up. I propped my head upon my hand and adjusted my phone. "I'm speaking from limited experience here." Sebastian tried very hard not to smile. He failed, but he tried. "You're such a man."
He stopped trying, "You're such a woman." His laughter was a wonderful sound.
"Less than good experience the first time because neither of us realized the amount of prep work required." He winced. I shrugged. "Next time I’d researched. I liked it, he didn't. He was too in his head, worried about being dirty. Then there's you. I knew what I was doing more in theory than practice."
"You should feel free to practice on me anytime you want." He cocked his head to the side. "You can come in and brush your teeth while I pee, but that's as far as I want to go there."
"Women have complete conversations while trading places in a bathroom."
"The group bathroom break cracks me up."
"We don't want to stop talking or want to talk about a cute guy in private."
"Mostly the last one." He wasn't wrong. "Oh..." he shook his head and pulled his eyebrows down, "not into period sex. But you've got an IUD. Do you even have a period?"
"Nope, happy side effect." Condoms eliminated the need for the birth control talk. "How do you know I have an IUD? Can you feel the strings?"
"My fingers are up there a lot."
I smirked, "You're dirty."
"About to be dirtier. Turn off your camera."
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8: masked
YOUTUBE SEARCH// how to make a pandemic mask with a bandana (to save a brain dead sister)
After hanging up with Madison, Emma pulls up a YouTube video on how to make a DIY mask out of a bandana and two rubber bands.
She hasn't been outside for almost three months now, except now and then stepping onto her front porch so she can remind herself what air smells like. Now, it's time to brave the storm--or rather, the toxic virus that has suffocated thousands.
"Where do you think you're going?" calls mom.
"And what the hell is that thing on your face? Looks like a diaper." her dad loves to make jokes at her expense to entertain her mother. Normally, she might tell him to piss off and maybe comment on his lack of a career or any good qualities in general. That would normally land her "quarantined" (ha) to her bedroom. They see it as punishment, but for Emma, solitude away from those assholes has always been a delight.
Sure, these sentiments come across as harsh. But Emma's anger towards her parents didn't come out of nowhere. If it was up to her, she'd have a wonderful relationship with them--hell, they might all be sitting on the couch together right now, watching The Sopranos and sharing a bowl of popcorn. But that's an alternate universe that she'll never live in.
Some parents don't have favorites. Emma's parents are not those parents.
Once upon a time, back when she and Isabel were the best of friends, the four members of their family felt close. A cohesive unit. It was so long ago now that Emma hardly remembers it...but the memories of taking bike rides through the park trails that ended with a picnic, and of ice skating in the winter before the reward of hot chocolate with mini marshmallows, those memories are still there. They loved to be outdoors together. It seems like they became trapped indoors long ago, long before this pandemic began.
If Emma could let go of those memories, she would. Maybe it's because they're so deeply ingrained in her mind, like shrapnel in a war wound, that the pain of her current reality is sharper than it has to be. Every time she feels her mom's disapproving stare or her dad's condescending laughter, in the back of her mind, she remembers the ice rink. It's the comparison between then and now that she can't seem to let go of.
When she and Isabel got a bit older, their dad got a better job. Well, one that paid him more money, but not one that made him happier. Still, everyone called it "better." They moved to a bigger house in a more relevant suburb and their mom started wearing fancier clothing. There were no bike trails nearby.
As Emma's dad was around less, Emma's mom had more anxiety. And she had nothing to do with it--at first. At some point, she started to compare and contrast her two daughters. Emma: older, more introverted, creative, distant. Isabel: outgoing, popular, bubbly, positive. Emma's mom always felt that she was responsible for Emma's trouble connecting with others, and in some ways, she was. It was a cycle. Emma's distance led her mom to fear her, which made her more distant.
Emma was very young when her mom decided that she had already slipped away. Her mom made up her mind that she wouldn't let the same happen to Isabel. She felt immense guilt for letting go of Emma, but their strained relationship was a constant reminder of her own inadequacies. With Isabel, it would be different.
Emma was old enough and smart enough to understand the difference between the way her mom treated her and her little sister. It wasn't Isabel's fault, but Emma resented her nonetheless. So when Emma moved out of the butterfly room into her own space, she shut the door behind her. And thus, over time, the two sisters grew apart.
With each lonely glass of wine, their mother grew apart from reality. Her mission to "save" Isabel was noble, but she didn't have the energy to fully commit. And Emma's father was in and out of the picture to the extent that she decided to let him go, to shut herself off from the disappointment and scorn, a coping mechanism that she had unintentionally learned from her mom.
Ultimately, money had not solved the problems of the Bradford family. However, that didn't mean that Emma wasn't going to stockpile a shitload of it. And run away from them forever.
"I'm just going for a walk around the block." Emma says through her DIY bandana mask.
"Well, stay 6 feet apart from anyone you might see out there. It's easy to catch this thing even from just breathing." Emma's mom commands. Showing authority is the one of the last ways she knows how to connect with her oldest daughter.
"Yeah, no shit." Emma says under her breath, leaving before they can chastise her.
Emma's mom watches her daughter leave. Her dad shakes his head.
"When this is all over, we'll have to do something about her. She's not well." His concern is questionably genuine. He's not a bad person, though his loyalty has wavered over the years. It's more so that he fell out of touch a long time ago and never returned.
Emma's mom continues to stare. She doesn't like that her daughter speaks to her like that. But what she likes even less is the feeling that overall, in her life, she's losing control.
"I don't know about waiting until this is all over. We might have to do something sooner than that."
Emma steps outside. April in the midwest is nasty. Apparently, before global warming gave the planet a death sentence, this month used to be spring. There were flowers, and grass, and other green stuff. So she'd been told. But now, everything is grey and wet. Just as well, since the outdoors are not so relevant anymore.
She sees a navy blue Toyota Prius rounding the corner onto her street. She grins, she can always count on Madison.
Emma runs down the street so that her parents won't see Emma's car in front of their house. If they make this quick, they can be back before her mom and dad question what could have happened. They'll believe she had only been on a walk.
As Emma gets into Mad's car, the feeling of closeness is overwhelming. The two friends fight the strong urge to hug.
"Oh my god, this is so weird. I can't believe you're here. That I'm seeing you. Oh god it's trippy." Madison rambles.
"I can't believe it. Not hugging you really sucks."
Madison jokingly backs away from her.
"I dunno if I wanna hug you with that mask...looks like a diaper on your face."
"Yeah and where's your mask? You're just jealous cuz you're gonna die, like an idiot." Emma buckles her seatbelt and turns up the radio. David Bowie is really setting the rebellious tone.
"Ok can you please tell me where we're going? Kinda need to know if I'm gonna drive us there." asks Madison.
"Ok get ready for it: we're going to Best Buy."
Madison looks at Emma like, "you pulled me out of my house in a fucking pandemic for this? I hate you."
"What the hell are you talking about, Em? First of all, WHAT. And second of all it's closed!! Duh!!"
"And we're gonna go anyway. Just trust me, ok?"
Madison rolls her eyes and turns the car around. This is not the heist she was expecting, but it will have to do.
Driving through town is freaky, to say the least. Everything is closed, there are no cars, and the fact that it's grey just really makes it the most depressing place one could be on a Friday.
"Everything's really closed, isn't it?" Emma asks, staring out the window at the ghost town. Madison shakes her head.
"And you think Best Buy is gonna be any different?"
Seemingly, it isn't. They pull up to Best Buy and the store is aggressively closed, its darkened windows matching every other depressing business in the strip mall. The expansive parking lot is empty...except for just one car.
"Huh, who do you think that is?" Madison asks, peering while pulling into a parking space. Emma holds her breath, really hoping Madison won't be pissed, but knowing she will be.
"Yeah, um, I know who that is. Because I asked him to come."
"God Emma, what did you do?"
It's then that a young man steps out of his car. Short, athletic build, cropped auburn hair...it's Gabriel. Zoe's senior boyfriend. What. The. Hell.
"Ummm, care to explain why GABE is here?" Madison hisses through clenched teeth, as they get out of the car.
"If I had told you beforehand, you wouldn't have driven me."
They approach Gabriel, who leans against his car, slightly confused. Emma attempts a handshake, as if this is a business conference. She immediately hates herself for her awkwardness. What is the appropriate greeting in a heist?
"Nice mask." He smirks.
"It's a diaper." Madison retorts. He laughs.
"So Emma, I didn't tell Zoe...but if I'm gonna lie to my girlfriend, you gotta give me a good explanation. I mean, you don't even like me."
"True." Madison says, as Emma nudges her in the ribs. Emma takes a deep breath.
"Thanks for meeting us Gabe. Like I said on the phone, I wouldn't have asked if it wasn't important, and I'm pretty sure this might be life or death. That sounds stupid but yeah. This is all very weird, and I can't really explain the full story because there's this thing with my sister, and there's a game that she played, and this guy online might be responsible for why she's currently a vegetable, although I'm pretty sure that's temporary, at least I fucking hope it is. Anyway does that make any sense at all?"
Madison and Gabriel stare at her looking completely lost. Emma regains her nerve. Get to the point.
"Gabe, I know you worked here two summers ago. Right?"
He nods.
"Do they have...an employee entrance of some kind? Like a door in the back? Any kind of warehouse opening?"
"There's an employee entrance in the back of the store." he says, cautiously. Again, Emma takes a breath.
"Well then, what I'm hoping...is that you still have a key, or a card, or whatever it takes to get inside."
Both Gabriel and Emma look shocked. Gabe speaks first.
"I um...I keep all my key cards. You never know what could happen." Now that he's catching on, his tone has grown more serious.
"That's what I was hoping you'd say. We need to get inside, Gabe. I need a certain piece of equipment."
Gabe nearly laughs.
"So what you're saying is you want to steal electronics from the warehouse? Do you know what would happen if we got caught?"
"Well yes, well, no...um, my uh...little sister..."
Emma's face is red now. She's now realizing that this was an incredibly stupid idea...how could she have thought of something so reckless, and actually suggested it out loud. She'd fully love to be anywhere but here, even squeezed between mom and pop on the couch.
Oddly, it's Julian's voice she hears echoing in her head--scorning her for letting these other people into a situation so personal.
They don't know her. No one knows the real her, except him. He's yelling at her for jeopardizing their opportunity to run away together. For putting herself first.
She gulps back tears. Is it Julian's voice, or her mom's?
Madison's voice snaps her out of it.
"I say let's fuckin do it." she says.
Emma exhales. Gabriel looks at her intently.
"You sure?" he asks.
Emma looks at the dark, looming building in front of them. She learned at a very young age how to be brave.
"We gotta be quick."
#write#writers#writers on tumblr#writer#my writing#writing#yanovel#ya novels#sciencefictionstory#scifi story#scififantasy#pandemic#coronavirus#covid19#gamergirl#hackergirl
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Listen, I'm sure this isn't your type of this and it feels weird to a now but, is it possible to get Hajime and Emma fluff? If not I'll understand it was weird to ask. Also, I love your work. Keep doing what you do 😊
Aww, anon, no need to feel embarrassed, it’s a valid rarepair, so don’t worry about it. And thank you for your nice words, I will keep doing my very best! I hope you are happy with this.
Hajime x Emma
-These two were already friends way before they even arrived on the island and have even met before Void, even if they didn’t really interact much at that time
-That changed when they became a part of Void and they actually got to know each other better, spending a lot of time with each other and everyone else, just as friends
-Until it wasn’t just as friends anymore and the two went out more and more without the others, just the two of them, to do some fun stuff, even if it was something as mundane as watching a movie together, at Emma’s place or in the cinema, their preferred genre being ‘bad movie’, so they can rip it apart and laugh about it
-Hajime and Emma just spent a lot of time at each others places and they were usually seen together, laughing about something or doing literally anything
-Nikei already had some suspicions that these two might be a couple, but there was never any clear evidence (It was a scoop though, so he wrote it in his notebook)
-When Emma was already the ultimate actress and she was invited to a party to introduce the movie to the public, she brought Hajime along, not only as bodyguard, but also because she wanted him to come with her. She would have felt lonely and wrong without him there
-They actually realized they had feelings for each other at the party, because there were some very nosy paparazzi who kept prying into Emma’s love life and if she already considered being with someone
-Emma laughed a bit awkwardly and her mouth was quicker than her brain and she just blurted out that she actually had already her eye on someone, only for her to realize two seconds later what she said and three more seconds to realize who she meant
-Oh my god, she was in love with Hajme, how did she not realize this sooner, they were literally together for months now, it was just never official, how could she have been so blind? Hajime was always there for here when she needed him and they cared so much for each other…
-Hajime, on the other hand, didn’t understand it at all and was disappointed. Which was when he realized that he wanted to be the one Emma would call her boyfriend. To think that there was someone else Emma wanted to be with… it made him jealous. So so jealous, his blood was boiling
-Of course both of them didn’t say anything until they were in Emma’s hotel room which they were sharing because Hajime couldn’t book a hotel room last minute
-Once the door was closed they basically both blurted out that they had feelings for each other and wanted to be with the other in a relationship, both of their eyes widening and a blush on both their faces before they smiled like dorks and just hugged each other very tightly, they were just so happy
-They kept their relationship a secret at first because Hajime had an important boxing match and really didn’t need all of the unwanted attention, but once he won that match, Emma and Hajime both confirmed in seperate interviews that they were in a relationship now and the crowd went absolutely wild
-Their interactions still remained mostly the same, just with more kisses and certainly more cuddling, but otherwise nothing changed too much
-They went out for a lot of dates but remained mostly private because they were both rather famous. But they always dress up in the most ridiculous costumes they can find whenever they go out in public
-One time Hajime was wearing a suit with monocle over his sunglasses and a tophat and Emma wore the armor of a knight and of course, these costumes were terrible, but their friends laughed quite a lot about it
-Hajime kinda kept the role as Emma’s bodyguard and kept her safe from literally everything that tried to lay a finger on her, he was quite the protective boyfriend, which was genuinly necessary in Emma’s business
-Emma is mostly a well loved actress, but of course she gets hate-mail too and Hajime makes sure to be there for her, make her some tea and cuddle her until she feels better
-Hajime and Emma do sport regularly to stay fit and strong, even if Emma’s training is more for stamina and Hajime’s for strength, they have a lot of fun training together, at home or the gym, it didn’t matter for them
-Hajime is a big spoon and makes sure to keep Emma close to himself at all times, which she certainly wasn’t complaining about, because Hajime was quite comfortable
-She often just naps with her head on his chest because he is just very comfortable
-They exchange hairtips because both of their hair is magnificent and Emma and Hajime always try out new braids, for fun or practicality!
-Emma has a massive sweet tooth, which Hajime doesn’t approve of, but she sneaks some sweats into her diet anyway, because she is weak and she knows Hajime just cares about her, but a girl has her occasional cravings
-Emma likes to be carried, which Hajime can certainly do for her
-They make sure to plan days where they are not together and do some stuff with their friends because a relationship is bound to break if you are together all the time without a break, even if they miss each other, they know its for the best and to care for their wonderful friendships
-Their friends are super supportive, it is just adorable, but Mikado has to occasionally puke, because love is also kinda gross if you really think about it and Iroha is drawing so much fanart of them, she has her own twitter account just for these two and the ship is sailing hard in the internet
-They couldn’t be happier if they tried. All of these hardships, their past memories, the battles they had to fight to even get to this point… never would they have imagined the goal to be this perfect. This right… they defeated all the stones set in their way and found their future and their soulmate as a price
-How wonderful
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Character post: Aoi Zaizen
Why I like them/why I don’t:
Out of all Yu-Gi-Oh girls so far, Aoi feels the most relatable of them all. She is a lot like a grown-up version of Luna/Ruka from 5Ds with a similar mannerism and personality. Aoi has a really timid nature and the fact that she is so sheltered by Akira that she feels he doesn’t even trust her hits home hard. But what I really love about her is her development. She learns from her mistakes and tries to become the best version of herself. The actions she takes in order to change herself don’t always play in her favour and even then she keeps on trying. Aoi represents exactly what you should do if you face failure in life – make changes and learn from your mistakes. Unlike Go, she never succumbed to her own insecurities and rather used them in order to change for the better. While she may appear pretty naïve and stubborn at first, you can really see how she slowly transforms into a person she always wished to be.
She is also a good representation of a celebrity with depression. The episode that showed her life outside VRAINS nearly broke my heart. From the way she talked with Yusaku and members of duel club, to how she just ran away after Yusaku asked her about Akira and how she was lying on bed looking like she was about to cry… it was just hard to watch considering there are people who are actually suffering the same way. But then she logged in VRAINS and instantly became a bubbly Charisma Duelist to entertain people. While a lot of people compare Go to Yuya, I actually see Aoi to be more like Yuya. Her Blue Angel persona is just like Yuya’s goggles, a mask she hides behind to cover up her tears and she presents herself as someone who is always smiling.
When her wings broke after her loss to Yusaku… it just perfectly represented how she finally broke down a lot like how Yuya lost to Reiji and Jack. At that point, I was really afraid she would follow the same road that Go did in season 2 – her insecurities and depression getting the best of her, but she didn’t. No, instead she put some thought about it before she did anything. When her fans were bashing her name, it seemed like she was going to break again. Thank God Emma came to her rescue! What I love about her relationship with Emma the most is the fact that she is the kind of a person that Aoi always needed. Once Miyu was revealed it also made me realize why Aoi had a hard time finding friends – she was afraid of being separated from a friend and didn’t want to be hurt by it again. Emma let her know that she’ll be always on her side and this was the encouragement that she needed to make a step further.
Her style of duelling is also one of my favourites – the burndown strategy. When she was duelling that AI who had the same technique and they were burning each other’s LP down like crazy was really entertaining to watch. I was a bit disappointed once she no longer used that technique, though I liked that she acknowledged it as something that needs to be improved. In overall her character is just as complex as Yusaku’s and I’m glad that it was explored a lot.
The only downside to her character is how her character is treated. Unfortunately, female characters are something that Shin Yoshida doesn’t know how to handle and this plays a big part in her representation. She had many losses that downgraded her lot. While she made a very big comeback in season 2 as Blue Maiden she also had a big downfall as well. In other words, Aoi’s character deserved so much more but was unfortunately pushed aside many times.
What I like about their appearance
The fact that she has so many avatars! I actually cosplayed Blue Angel and this was one of the most difficult cosplays I’ve ever made, but I in no way regret it since it is a very cute outfit and I’ve learned so many cosplay-making techniques while making it. I also really like how each avatar in a way presents one part of her. Blue Angel is her childhood dream, a hero she wanted to become. Blue Girl represents her desire to be like Ghost Girl and make a change. And Blue Maiden is her embracing all of herself and honourably joining Team Playmaker. Her avatars give this Magical Girl feel that combine her kind nature with power in order to save the world. While magical girl anime portrays that more ribbons, sparkle and skirts equals more power, Aoi’s avatar changes are the exact opposite, showing that sometimes less can be more.
And the part I love the most and was the most difficult to make? Her wings! I think I spent nearly three whole days just figuring out how to make those wings stand! In the end, I used some very thick wires, extra strong duct tape and a handmade posture supporter to keep it still. And it was so worth it! I was a bit sad that Blue Girl didn’t have wings, so when Blue Maiden’s wings were shown I was excited as hell! I also really like her twintail hairstyle since I tend to wear my hair in this style too. When I cosplayed Blue Angel not that many people recognized the character, but those few who did really liked it and one of them even showed me all of the Trickstars he had in his deck! I had a really wonderful experience as Blue Angel and I even won the third place in cosplay contest! To conclude – I love absolutely everything about her appearance and I wouldn’t mind cosplaying her or her other avatars again!
Do I prefer their dub names or original names?
While I really like the name Skye, it kinda sounds off for Aoi. I’ve grown really used to her original name so when her dub name was revealed… it just didn’t sound like her. I guess it could work as her user name since Skye goes well with her avatar’s wings, puffy skirt and blue colours like a short nickname for Blue Angel. Aoi is also the name of a hollyhock flower that represents the cycle of life which nicely symbolizes the changes that Aoi went through when changing her avatars and overall personality.
OTP
Definitely Miyu or Takeru, hard to decide. Miyu was introduced really late in the series and didn’t get that much screen time or backstory and yet it was enough to give away all necessary information about her. I made many theories why I thought Aoi was Aqua’s origin and in a way, she is - all because of Miyu. While all cheerful and caring, Miyu could’ve been lonely and even if she wasn’t, she choose to befriend someone who was. It is not clear how long the two of them were friends, though it most likely not long and yet out of all people, Miyu choose Aoi to be her anchor. Aqua basically represents Miyu’s love for Aoi and I’m sure that once Aoi gets to meet Miyu it will be a very emotional reunion.
Then there’s Takeru and let’s face it, he is the kind of a character that can be shipped with anyone and it would still work. Still, I genuinely believe he has a secret crush on Aoi. When he passed Aoi in school, he didn’t appear to have much interest towards her though that could be because that was the first time he saw her as Aoi and not as Blue Angel. The duel they had as Soulburner and Blue Girl was pretty entertaining to watch and the encouragement he gives her in the end was very well-meaning and kind. The second time he meets her in real life is completely different as he approaches her right away and introduces himself. Considering how shy Takeru can be it is very unlikely he would do that with just anyone, so the fact that he did that with Aoi shows that he is interested in becoming her friend. Kiku said that he is not much of a friendly person, so the fact that he approached someone else besides Yusaku really says a lot. Their relationship would really work as they both love duelling and testing themselves. I hope that they get to have a tag duel one time together as they could really fit each other well despite representing opposite elements (water and fire) since this could be the first time for such combination in a tag duel. I’ll keep my fingers crossed for a tag duel in the third season since I really enjoyed Aki and Crow tag duel in 5Ds and this could give some nostalgia.
NOTP
At first I didn’t know this even existed, but Aoi and Akira ship just feels wrong on so many levels. I know they aren’t blood-related but they are still siblings. While I really like their sibling relationship, romantic one would completely ruin it, especially how canon it actually felt during the first season. Like Aoi would use –sama for her brother which is reserved for masters and bosses, like she is super inferior to him and the whole reason why she went to duel Yusaku was so she could impress him, which resulted in her falling in coma. Even if they weren’t siblings, Aoi is still a minor and Akira is ten years older than her. At times Akira also acts a lot like her father which would make their romantic relationship that much worse.
I dislike romantic Aoi and Emma ship for the same reason. While I absolutely love their sisterly bond, the thought of them having something more just doesn’t feel okay. Maybe if Aoi was older like over 18 or in early 20s then it could work better. Even if Aoi would have feelings for Emma and she would want to start a relationship with her, I imagine Emma would tell her to wait. Emma is the kind of a person, who has no problem breaking a law, but getting in a relationship with a minor is something she wouldn’t do. I have no doubt that she loves Aoi like her little sister or a young partner in crime so a romantic relationship would pretty much ruin this nicely developed relationship.
OT3
Aoi, Miyu and Aqua! I don’t know why, but this trio just warms my heart. There’s no doubt that all three of them care about each other a lot and would form a really nice relationship with each other. In my perfect reality, both Aqua and Aoi come visit Miyu after everything is over, and together they create new VRAINS avatars in order to spend time with Aqua who is pretty much their lovechild. I see this trio to work in both platonic and romantic way since the three of them show nothing but kindness and care towards each other.
Favourite card they use
Marincess Crystal Heart. I already liked the concept of Crystal Heart, the fact that it symbolized Aqua’s and Earth’s love and that they did everything to keep it from being destroyed in the field. What truly made me love it even more was when Aoi used it in a duel against Bowman and empowered it. I believe that the heart still represents Aqua’s and Earth’s love and the water spirit protecting it is Aoi, protecting them both. From the start of their meeting, Aoi has been keeping Aqua safe and Marincess Crystal Heart perfectly represents that.
Favourite moment they were in
Her duel with Haru. After so many losses, the duel with Haru was the best comeback for Aoi. The character she has been building finally came into action and I absolutely enjoyed watching that duel. From the new archetype Marincess to how she stood her ground against Haru’s hurtful words - Aoi made it clear: she is back and ready to kick some ass! The new strategy, her partnership with Aqua and that badass skill when her wings showed up! And how she outright obliterated Haru’s LP! It was just amazing and it showed how far she has come. At that point, it really seemed like Aoi was set to win more duels...
Least favourite moment
... which is why her loss to Bowman was so sad. While it was no way as humiliating as her loss to Playmaker, Specter and Soulburner, it was still terrible. Bowman is disgustingly overpowered character and the fact that he used so many moves that were outright cheating really downgraded Aoi’s and Aqua’s character. I would be fine if Bowman defeated her with a good strategy, but no he used a literal asspull effect like he did the whole duel. He even tried to scare her and for a moment I thought Aoi would give in. Luckily she didn’t and I was so proud of her. Even the act of “mercy” was a very cheap move since Bowman is a freaking hypocrite and he probably used it just so he could feel better about losing Haru.
Back then when I was still hopeful about Aoi’s further character development I wrote a theory why she was capable of defeating Bowman with very good arguments and how it could play out well in the final conclusion of season 2. (it is here if you wish to check it out https://3w-writer-with-wings.tumblr.com/post/182925730720/lightnings-plans-and-why-i-believe-aoi-will ). I was really disappointed when Bowman won using the cheap moves since it looked like writing staff pushed away Aoi’s promising future for the sake of having Bowman win at all cost.
Would I fuck, marry or kill them
Can I just be her friend? Cuz really if I were to meet Aoi in real life, I would just hug her and take her out for ice cream or coffee and talk with her, letting her know that she is an amazing person and that she should never doubt herself cuz she is doing a great job at improving herself. I would likely be one of those Blue Angel fans in the crowd during her duels, holding banners with encouraging words or I would be writing a blog dedicated to her in order to support her, pretty much the same thing that I’m doing now. ;) If someone would bash her name and accuse her of things she didn’t do or weren’t her fault, you bet I would write a freaking essay similar to the one I made in order to defend Yusaku when someone made a youtube video ranting how boring he is.
Aoi Zaizen deserves more recognition and hopefully, she gets to shine more in the third season.
#aoi zaizen#aqua vrains#yugioh vrains#character anylsis#vrains#Blue Angel#aoi deserved better#I hope she will be back in season 3#yugioh needs more female characters like Aoi
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A Second Schott At Love - Chapter 2.
It seemed like Friday night couldn’t come soon enough, for both the couples: Kara and Mon-El had a really good feeling about it, while Eve and Winn were a bundle of nerves. Winn kept texting his friend asking for an opinion on which flannel shirt he was supposed to wear, meanwhile Eve begged Kara to go shopping with her, she wanted to look her best, even if Kara repeatedly told her that her usual style would be perfect for the date, she didn’t need new clothes.
“Are you sure you don’t want to tell me anything about Winn?”
“I want you to find out yourself at the date, directly. And I don’t want you to run out of questions, you’re welcome.”
“I hate you for being so right.”
Kara smirked, as they walked to another shop, looking for a blouse that matched her pencil skirt: Eve was lucky that her style was so similar to her friend’s.
“Can you tell me more about Eve?”
“I really don’t know what to tell you, since our only date was ruined by yours truly by talking only about..”
“About?”
“Uhm, listen, I need to tell you something, but promise me you won’t tell anyone yet.”
“Of course, I promise.”
“Well..Kara and I are dating.”
Winn gasped, “Since when?”
“Valentine’s day, more or less.”
“NOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
“What?” Mon-El cringed thinking he had hurt his friend’s feelings in some way.
“I owe Alex 30 dollars, I told her you would get together after Valentine’s day. She bet that you would get together on Valentine’s day..”
“Okay, wow. But Kara hasn’t told Alex yet, so you can spend that money on the date first.”
“So..you blew your date with Eve because you couldn’t stop talking about Kara? How does she not hate you both?”
Mon-El chuckled, “I don’t know, but that surely means that she has a big heart and doesn’t hold grudges, she’s very supportive.”
“I feel a little less nervous now..If she met the me from last year, things would’ve gone in the exact same way. Don’t worry, I’m over her! Anyway, I’m really happy for you both, truly.” Winn put his hands on Mon-El’s shoulders, then he hugged him.
“Thank you so much, I hope you find the same happiness I have found with Kara.”
“Fingers crossed.”
It was finally time to go at the restaurant, Kara and Mike planned to go a little earlier than Winn and Eve, but obviously, they couldn’t let themselves be recognized by their friends: they “borrowed” a short red wig and fake moustaches from the DEO and prayed they looked somewhat believable. Winn arrived perfectly on time, he seemed pretty nervous for this date; Eve got there just a few minutes later: “It’s showtime!” Kara whispered to Mon-El from the nearby table.
“Hey, I’m Winn, you must be Eve, right?” ‘Why am I even saying this, I know it is her!’ he thought.
”It’s great to finally meet you, Winn.” They shook hands.
“You look really, really pretty.”
“Oh, thank you so much.” Eve blushed so hard, as if she’d never gotten a compliment before.
Winn walked her to the table and moved her chair to let her sit, “Thank you.”
“So, have you ever eaten here?”
“No, no, it’s my first time here..in a place like this.” Winn confessed.
“I read the food is delicious: you know, I always try to check reviews before I go somewhere new, not that I don’t trust Kara—“
“No, I totally get it, I do the same thing with books and movies.”
“That’s nice, I really enjoy books and movies as well. Especially books, since I also studied literature.”
“Right! I forgot you attended Yale, that must’ve been incredible.” Winn’s eyes lit up, he could feel the conversation flowing naturally.
The waiter arrived to take their ordination, but then they picked up right where they left. “Yeah, I’ll admit that was a really challenging part of my life, but I’m really proud of all the amazing things I’ve learned. What about you?”
“Eh, I didn’t have the best family growing up, I was pretty lonely until I moved here from Newark, five years ago. Then you know, I met Kara and James and.. CatCo was pretty fun: I’ve had great moments there, even if Cat didn’t get my name right once.”
“Typical Cat Grant.” They laughed together. “I came up with the theory that if she gets a name wrong, it means she actually likes you: she always knew my name perfectly, but she always called Kara “Keira”, and you?..”
“Will, I think?”
“..so she definitely liked you more than she ever liked me.”
“That actually makes a lot of sense, wow. You’re smart. Also in a non-academic-cool kind of way.”
“Well..” She tucked a hair strand behind her ear.
Besides them, Kara smiled widely with pride at the match she’d created, “I think they’re getting along really well..”
“I think so too..but we’ve finished eating like five minutes ago, shouldn’t we go?” Mon-El feared being caught.
“Ugh, just ten more minutes!”
“Okay..okay.”
“You mentioned books earlier, and I’m really dying to ask you a question, it’s kind of a deal breaker for me.”
“Shoot.” The blonde was curious.
“You’ve read Harry Potter, right?”
“Oh my gosh, of course! That’s actually where I got this passion for literature.”
Winn made an exaggerated sigh of relief, “Good, that’s good. What’s your house?”
“If it wasn’t already obvious, Hufflepuff, but with a hint of Slytherin. You?”
“Gryffindor! Should I be worried about that ‘hint’?”
Eve chuckled, “I don’t think so, but let’s just say you don’t want an enemy like me.” She raised her eyebrow and smirked. “Do you have a favorite Disney movie?” She continued changing the subject.
“That’s a terribly difficult question to answer, I think I’m gonna say Aladdin, though.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know, orphan that has nothing and then has everything, great friendship and love stories, amazing songs I’ll admit I still know by heart..”
“Oh, don’t worry I know every Disney song by heart. Everyone.”
“And what’s yours?”
“Beauty and the Beast: I’ve always seen a little bit of myself in Belle, and God knows how many Gastons I have met in my life..I was also in love with her yellow dress. I hate to say it but I was kinda disappointed by the live action trailer. I still love Emma Watson, though.”
“Yeah, same for me..What was your first job? Did Disney or Harry Potter influence you there as well?”
“Ha, not at all. I don’t know if you’d count it as a job, but I got my first money from my roommate in college.”
“What? How?”
“Let’s just say, she’s made a bunch of bad decisions in high school and she’d pay me to cover her Ryan Seacrest tattoo when she had to go out with her boyfriend.”
“Wow, and I thought that my Hot Topic experience was odd..”
“Yeah, my experience is definitely unique..I really like your shirt, by the way: blue is one of my favorite colors.”
“Seriously? Well then, I’m your perfect guy, since 90% of my wardrobe is blue.” Winn didn’t even have the time to cringe at what he said because their food had arrived, so they started eating in a comfortable silence and Eve didn’t seem shaken by his sentence: truth was, Winn and Eve had a lot of spontaneous chemistry and their date was slowly climbing up to be on top of their charts.
“Do you want a dessert?” He asked shyly.
“I have a better idea..the food here is delicious, but the portions are kind of..”
“Small? Agreed.”
“Oh, good. I thought you were gonna think I was an insatiable monster.”
Winn chuckled at Eve, “Not at all! So what’s your idea?”
“Big Belly Burger?”
“Yes, yes-yes-yes-yes! I haven’t been there in a while, actually. Let me go pay.”
“No, we can split.”
“Nuh-uh. But you can buy me chicken nuggets later.”
“..Okay, deal.” Eve finally gave up with a sweet smile.
“Okay, I think we can go now, they’re leaving too.” Kara whispered to Mon-El, “I think they had a nice time.” He replied.
“Yeah, I think so too: I can’t wait to hear their point of view tomorrow.” She let out a little squeal and Mon-El shook his head at the adorable dork that he was lucky enough to call girlfriend. A few minutes apart, the two couples left the restaurant; one was headed home, the other wasn’t.
Winn sneaked a few looks at Eve as she looked outside her window, observing the life around them, the atmosphere of a Friday night in National City: she was really beautiful, her smile was so contagious and she made him feel good like he hadn’t felt in years. Suddenly, Eve turned around and caught Winn staring, but he immediately looked back at the road, embarrassed, though it was too late now to be unnoticed: however, she didn’t seem to mind at all, on the contrary, she smiled at him before looking outside again. Now, they knew they both felt happy with how the night was proceeding; “we’re here.” Winn parked in the almost deserted lot: they were lucky that the Big Belly Burger was open 24 hours.
They took two burgers, fries, the aforementioned chicken nuggets and two milkshakes: apparently, they both loved junk food and they had a lot of appetite, even if it was almost midnight. Eve talked a lot, yet he loved listening to her opinions and thoughts on a lot of things, Winn was absolutely fascinated by this tiny but mighty woman. On the other hand, he made her laugh a lot: she felt like she didn’t have to keep her guards up and she was free to be herself, it was like she had known Winn for years and truthfully, Eve already cared about him very much.
“I have to say it, this has been the most fun date I have ever had, so..thank you.” Winn confessed, as he finished his chocolate milkshake.
“Definitely. Even if my stomach will probably hate me for all this food, I had a great night with you.”
“I gotta thank Kara and Mike, because they totally made up for the crappy date I’ve had the past weekend.”
“Agreed.” All the bad experiences they’ve had in the past were just a blur now, it was just them now, sharing a happy moment that would’ve hopefully turned into something more.
“I almost forgot to ask..can I have your number? I..I would really like to hang out again.” He scratched his cheek.
“I was just gonna say the same thing, of course.” As Eve typed her number on his phone, Winn had a really wide grin on his face, but he didn’t care at all: he did the same thing and then they walked outside the door.
They almost dreaded the ride back to her place, they didn’t want this night to end, even if it was just the beginning: he turned on the radio, at a low volume, but both of them found themselves humming to the songs.
“That’s my building.” Eve pointed, Winn stopped the engine. “Again, thank you so much for everything. You’re a really great guy, Winn.”
He wasn’t used to compliments, so he remained speechless for a couple of seconds: “Thank you, Eve. By the way, you’re incredible, I don’t know how anyone could ever screw up a date with you.”
There it was, another joke that wasn’t even a joke but made her laugh, always so effortlessly: Eve grabbed Winn’s coat and pulled him to her, catching him by surprise, but in a positive way; he gladly returned the kiss.
“Wow.” Was the only thing he managed to say after that.
“I..I couldn’t help it.” She tucked her hair behind her ears, before opening the door, “goodnight Winn.”
“Goodnight Eve.”
He watched her walk away, and still dumb folded Winn muttered to himself. “Damn, that girl really knows how to make an exit.”
#schottmacher#schottmacher fanfiction#schottmacher ff#eve tessmacher#winn schott jr#karamel fanfiction#karamel ff#karamel fanfic#kara danvers#mike matthews#kara zor-el#mon-el#kara x mon-el#winn x eve#eve x winn#mon-el x kara
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“Secrets, Lies, and Blessings” (A SwanFire FanFic) Chapter 7
Chapter VII
~Eighteen months ago~
It had been roughly six months since Emma and Baelfire had met at Ava’s birthday celebration and ever since then they had been sneaking out to see each other as much was possible. They would meet in the forest at night and would talk and walk together.
They found one another to be good company; they could easily talk to each other and be themselves. When it was the two of them they were just “Emma” and “Baelfire” rather than “The Crown Princess” and “The Dark One’s Son” and they found it incredibly refreshing and were growing more and more attached to one another.
On one particular night, Emma headed out as soon as she had finished her supper. She had convinced her parents that she was exhausted after a long day and wanted to go to bed early. They readily believed her and excused her, much to Emma’s relief. With that, she had rushed to her bedchamber and quickly changed into her commoner’s clothes. She briefly told her lady-in-waiting where she was going, gave her an estimate as to when she’d be back, and again made her swear never to tell anyone about this. Eleanor hesitantly looked the other way and Emma was gone.
When she reached their usual meeting point she stopped and listened for a moment. It looked like he wasn’t there. “Bae?” she quietly called. She turned around when she heard a sound behind her.
“I’m right here,” he said, a little out of breath. “I’m sorry I’m a little late. I kinda got held up for a minute.”
“You’re fine,” Emma said with a smile. “You didn’t have to run. I could’ve waited five minutes.”
Baelfire held out his arm to her and she eagerly looped her arm around his elbow. They began to walk. “I’m pretty sure it's considered improper to keep a young lady waiting.”
Emma looked up at him and smiled. “Well, this young lady would’ve understood.” she replied as she gave his arm a light, affectionate squeeze.
They walked further into the forest before they came to a fallen tree next to a pond. They sat down on it and were just silent for a few moments before Emma started to speak. She uttered a small sigh. “You have it lucky, do you know that?” she said, breaking the silence.
Baelfire looked at her, puzzled. “How do you mean?”
“Well, for starters, you’re not a royal. You can do whatever you feel like. You don’t have to study foreign languages or know the entire history of all the realms and the entire surrounding kingdoms. You don’t have to memorize the order of the Royal Guard, let alone remember ALL their names. And you never have to be under constant supervision.” she let out a sigh. “What I hate most of all are the social outings and duties and attending the stupid councils with my parents. I have to be constantly on for everybody. I’m always expected to act a certain way at all times. I can’t be myself in any way at all and I hate it.” she inhaled deeply and looked down at the ground before looking back at Baelfire. “I’m going to tell you something that I’ve NEVER told anyone else - ever. Not even my lady-in-waiting, Eleanor…” she swallowed before continuing. “I’m the crown princess, the heir to the throne. What if I became queen tomorrow? I’m afraid that I don’t have what it takes to be queen and that I’ll end up greatly disappointing my parents…I didn’t ask to be born into this...” she looked at Baelfire. He was looking at her thoughtfully, taking in what she had just told him. Emma didn’t really know where all that had come from. She just found him so easy to talk to. Then she wondered if she should’ve in fact kept quiet.
“Well, for one thing,” Baelfire started. “You becoming queen is a LONG way off, so get that out of your head - even if - heaven forbid - something did happen tomorrow, you wouldn’t be queen until you’re 21 anyway, correct? And unless you became a terrible ruthless tyrant that executes without question, there’s no way you could possibly disappoint the king and queen.” Emma giggled at the point he had made. “I know you think otherwise, but they love you,” he went on. “And you have the same gumption and leadership skills as the king himself and that -”
“That may be so but I don’t have my mother’s kind spirit and soft spokenness.” she interrupted.
Baelfire turned so that he was directly facing her. He gently placed his hands on her shoulders. “That is nonsense.” he firmly replied. “You were kind to me, weren’t you?”
Emma was taken back a little by his touch. It felt rather … pleasant, actually. She quickly snapped herself back to reality. “Everyone’s kind to you,” she answered.
“No. No, they’re not.” he said as he removed his hands from her shoulders.
“What? But you’re the kindest person I know!! How could anyone not be kind to you?” She asked incredulously.
Baelfire inhaled slowly and shook his head. “Not everyone is even half as kind as you, Emma. People may not know my face, but once I introduce myself, they immediately know who I am and try to get away as fast as they can. They want nothing to do with me if they can help it.” He was quiet for a moment before continuing. “It’s been like that for a long time. I’d try to join in with the other children and they’d run away. Now I try to start a conversation, or even try to help anyone, they push me away. I mean, I really can’t blame them. My papa has a reputation, he’s done terrible things to people, thinking that he’s protecting me. I understand that they’re only scared, but it just gets …”
“Lonely …” Emma finished for him and he nodded. She suddenly felt a twinge of guilt for complaining about her life to him. Yes, she had her problems too of course, but at least she had a family that loved her and a lady-in-waiting whom she considered more of a close friend than a glorified servant. He didn’t have any of that.
“Yeah, that too, but also frustrating.” he looked at Emma. “No one ever wants to take the time to get to know me. They think that just because I’m the Dark One’s son I’m automatically just as bad and as dangerous as he is. You’re actually the first person since then who didn’t run after I told you my name.”
“Well, why would I have run? It's never right to judge a person by the actions of their parent.” Emma said angrily. “Anyone who would actually take ten seconds to talk to you would see right away what a kind and noble person you are and that you are NOTHING like him.” Anger flashed her eyes. “Don’t pay those idiots any mind. They’re ignorant is what they are and are too blind and stupid to notice that something great is right in front of them.” She squared her shoulders and noticed Baelfire was staring at her. He was greatly touched by her words and how she had delivered them. He was also surprised. No one had ever stood up for him like she had just done.
Emma went on. “They don’t know what they’re missing,” she said shyly as she cautiously placed her hand on his leg.
“What?” he was slightly surprised by her sudden touch.
“Talking with you. Just knowing you” she answered, still looking at him. “These people have no idea what they’re missing out on. I know I’ve only known you for six short months, but …” she trailed off. Baelfire continued to look at Emma, asking with his eyes for her to go on. “See, as the princess, I’ve met a lot of people, many of whom I wish I could UNmeet…” she giggled and then went on. “But you? You’re like no one else I’ve ever met. You’re sweet, you’re kind, caring, considerate, and from what I’ve gathered in this short time, you’re also selfless.” she said as she looked into his teardrop-shaped hazel eyes. She continued to look him in his eyes and noticed that Baelfire too was also looking in her eyes. She suddenly developed jitters in her stomach. She nervously cleared her throat and looked away. “Anyway … I think what I’m trying to say is that …” she trailed off. How do you tell someone that you’re falling in love with them? And even if she did, what if he didn’t feel the same way? What if he only saw her as a friend and nothing more? Should she just tell him? Or wait? She inhaled deeply as she looked down at her lap. As she did so her hair behind her ear came untucked, causing it to fall in front of her face. She instinctively tucked it back behind her ear again.
“Trying to say what?” Baelfire cocked his head as he encouraged her to go on. He kept looking at Emma. She looked absolutely stunning under the light of their lanterns. He continued to look at her as he waited for her go on and finish her thought.
“Well … I guess what I’m trying to say is that I …” she paused nervously before continuing. “I’m a pretty good judge of character. Always have been and I’ve kinda prided myself upon that … and … well … you … you seem very noble. More noble than any so-called prince I’ve ever met.” she looked back at Baelfire. She badly wanted to tell him how she felt. Bae was like no one she’d ever met before, she was sure of that. She felt a connection to him, she had felt that ever since their first meeting during Ava’s birthday celebration. He made her laugh, he understood her, he always listened to her, he treated her like a normal girl, and he was respectful. Very respectful. When she was around him, she didn’t feel like the Crown Princess of the Enchanted Forest. Instead, she felt like so much more. She felt like a complete person, her own person. Being around him made her feel happy. Genuinely happy instead of irritable and moody. Instead of feeling trapped, she felt free. With him she felt like she could take on the world if she needed to.
Baelfire actually felt the same way. He felt different around Emma too. It was almost as if... his life finally made sense. Like he now had a purpose. Not that he didn’t feel his life had a purpose before, he always knew everything happens for a reason, but being with Emma made him actually believe in his heart what he already knew in his head. Being with her made him forget about how crappy his home life was. Around her he didn’t feel depressed anymore. He wondered if she was feeling the same way he was. He watched her as she studied the water in the pond in front of them. She looked so pretty. He suddenly developed an urge to kiss her, but something was holding him back. Was it because of who she was? Or was it because he was afraid she might not return the feelings. He didn’t want to ruin what they already had. Besides, what if she’s actually engaged to marry someone already? He thought to himself. Emma had never mentioned anything about a betrothal, but she WAS sixteen and of marriageable age, and being a Royal, it was all still a possibility. Many princesses were married off to other princes as to create or to keep an alliance between kingdoms. He didn’t really know too much about royals, but he at least knew that much. He wondered if he should just come out and ask her, but he didn’t want to offend her in any way. Just then Emma broke the silence:
“On a happier, lighter note… have I ever told you about the time my mother tried to play matchmaker?” she asked with a giggle.
Baelfire snapped back to reality. “I’m sorry, what did you say?”
Emma good-naturedly rolled her eyes and shook her head before repeating her question. “I said… have I ever told you about the time my mother tried her hand at playing matchmaker?’ she asked again.
“No.” he answered. He couldn’t help but wonder where Emma was going with this.
“Oh you have to hear this!” she exclaimed with an eye-roll and a giggle. “So, for my sixteenth birthday, my parents thought it a great idea to host a ball - which I never really want but I understand why they do it - anyway, they invited pretty much every neighboring and surrounding kingdom,” she rolled her eyes to emphasize the word ‘every’. She went on, “Well… there was this so-called prince - I don’t even remember what his name was - something posh sounding like William - anyway his name isn’t important. For some reason my mother thought it would be a good idea to introduce him to me. Somehow she thought he was ‘nice’, I don’t know why. I think she thought us to be a potential couple, but anyway, I took one look at him, and I knew he was NOT the man for me! No no! Ugh!” she shivered as she said ‘Ugh’. “I shot him down in SUCH a hurry, let me tell you! My mother couldn’t believe it! She said I was rude. The boy didn’t care about me at all, he was only looking to be the son-in-law to the Charmings and to hopefully create a lasting alliance with his kingdom. NO. WAY! I saw right through him in half a heartbeat and so did my father! Luckily he explained it to her and she immediately understood, but then she gave me this long lecture on how I, being sixteen, should really start thinking about marriage,” she rolled her eyes. “She thinks I don’t care about such things, but I do. Just … not like she does - or, did, I guess.”
“So … you’re not then?”
Emma looked puzzledly at Bae. “Not what?” Was he just not listening? She quickly thought and mentally rolled her eyes. Men!
Baelfire swallowed nervously before answering. “Not … engaged to be married?”
“Goodness, NO!” she exclaimed wide-eyed. She started to laugh. “Whatever gave you the idea of THAT?”
“I don’t know … I just thought that, your mother playing matchmaker, being sixteen and a Royal, that you -”
“Oh, NO!! No. no, no! Nothing like that! I was just sharing that with you because, looking back, I thought it was funny! See, my mother is a hopeless romantic, always trying to help someone find their true love and not caring if she makes a fool out of herself and -” she turned her head to look back at Baelfire and noticed that he was staring at her. Her eyes scanned from side to side. “Is - is everything alright?” she asked. This was a little awkward. Why was he staring at her all of a sudden. How long had he been staring at her? “Bae…? Are you okay?” she asked slowly as she stared back at him. She looked at his eyes and saw how the light from their lanterns reflected like little candles burning in his pupils. He has the roundest eyes, she thought happily. She had never seen such perfectly round eyes like his before.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” he answered. “You just look so …” he trailed off nervously.
Emma’s heart began to beat a little faster. “So, what?” she prodded.
“Uh,” he looked from side to side and cleared his throat nervously before answering. “So … pretty,” he quickly spit out. “You just look really pretty tonight.”
Emma blushed and awkwardly looked down at her lap. “Stop that,” she said, embarrassed. Her heart continued to beat at a quickened pace. She tried to settle it down without Baelfire noticing.
“Why?” he asked as he cautiously and gently placed his hand on hers.
Emma’s heart jumped into her throat at his gentle touch. “Why? Because … because it’s …” she uttered an embarrassed giggle. “You do realize you’re talking to Princess Emma, right? And not Ava? Ava’s the pretty one, and I’m just -”
“Stop,” he interrupted her. “Just - stop. I’m - I’m telling the truth. You - you look - I mean, you ARE really pretty and …” he took a deep breath. The heck with it already! He was just going to come out and tell her how he felt. “Emma?”
“Yes…?”
“I’m gonna tell you something, and, well, if you don’t feel the same way then, just… just forget I said anything, okay?”
“Okay…” she answered slowly. She studied Bae’s face. She noticed that he was starting to sweat and that he was acting extremely nervous. What’s going on with him? She asked herself.
“I… well… you see… we’ve … been friends for what? Six months now? Well,” he swallowed and paused nervously. Just get it together, Baelfire. Be brave and tell her. He told himself. Why was it so hard to tell her how he felt? He trusted her so what was the big deal? He inhaled before going on. “Well … you … you’re really kind. And smart, and funny. You treat me as if I’m, well, anyone but the Dark One’s son. You don’t have to, but you do, and …” he trailed off and took his eyes off Emma, instead he looked at the ground.
Emma cocked her head and inched closer to Bae. She raised her arm and placed her hand on the back of shoulder. He looked back at Emma and saw that she was smiling at him. Something about her smile gave him the courage to go on, or was it her friendly gentle gesture? He wasn’t sure but he went on: “I - what I’m trying to say is… I’m … I’m growing quite fond of you, Emma.” He quickly finished the last part of his sentence. He meant what he told her, he only hoped he sounded genuine. He was just so nervous.
Hearing his last few words made Emma’s heart beat so fast she thought she might faint. So he DOES feel the same as me! She thought happily. She looked at him in his eyes. Oh those round, gorgeous, expressive eyes. Oh how she loved them.
The way she was just staring at him made Bae nervous. Maybe she didn’t return his feelings? Great! He probably just ruined their friendship. He sighed. “You don’t feel the same way, do you? I’m so sorry! Just forget that I even -“
“No!” Emma finally found her own courage. “No. What you said… I feel the same way. You are a special, and kind young man who does not deserve the hurt you’ve been through. You’re like no one I’ve ever met before and quite frankly, well… I’m growing incredibly fond of you too.” She continued to look at his eyes. Her eyes made their way down to his lips. She suddenly noticed how perfect his lips were. Not too thin and not too full. The way his bottom lip stuck out slightly more than his top lip. Why was she just noticing them now? They were the most perfect lips she had ever seen. They seemed rather … kissable and she suddenly badly wanted to kiss his kissable lips. She wished he’d kiss her so she could kiss him back. Suddenly she noticed Baelfire slowly leaning his head in toward her. Her heart caught in her throat. He’s gonna do it! She thought excitedly. This is it! Then she closed her eyes and felt his lips against hers. So sweet, so soft, and SO gentle, as if she might break if he kissed her too hard. The experience was absolute magic! She didn’t want this moment to end. She kissed him back and they pulled away. She opened her eyes again and drew in a deep breath as to keep from passing out. A lock of her hair came untucked from behind her ear again and Bae affectionately tucked it back for her. Emma shyly lowered her head and looked up at Baelfire. He was still looking at her, with admiration lighting up his hazel eyes. Emma continued to look at him too. It was weird. She suddenly felt her heart was going to burst. Not from fear, or a heart attack, but from something else. She’d never felt that sensation before and didn’t really know what it meant. Could it be love? Could a girl of only sixteen years feel love like this? Is this how her mother felt when she fell in love with her father? She just didn’t know. She smiled at Bae once more and opened her mouth to speak: “I … I love you.” She didn’t know where those words came from but she was pretty sure she meant them. Actually, it was almost as if her heart had spoken those words instead of her mouth.
Bae stared at her wide-eyed. Did Emma really just tell him that she loved him? She did! And she MEANT it! Why was he hesitating? He loved her back. Just say it back! He saw Emma biting her bottom lip and pleading with her eyes for him to answer her. “I … love you too.” He finally answered. He breathed out. That wasn’t so bad. He didn’t know why he even hesitated. He felt kinda like a jerk for making her wait so long for his reply.
With his reply Emma’s face lit up with the biggest smile ever. She suddenly wrapped her arms around his neck, squeezing if affectionately. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders, returning her hug.
Emma didn’t want this moment to end but she knew it would have to. She hesitantly pulled away. “I really should head back home now though,” she said sadly.
“Yeah, me too,” Baelfire replied. “I’ll walk you home.” He stood up from the log and held out his hand to Emma, helping her up like the gentleman he was.
“Thank you.” She smiled up at him and eagerly took his hand and stood up. She looped her arm through his elbow and they walked back to the edge of the forest outside the Charming castle.
When they got close enough to the castle, they said their goodbyes and parted ways. As always, Baelfire watched to make sure that Emma made it safely through the castle gate before he headed back home. As Emma made her way back to her room she recalled what had happened that night. She couldn’t believe it! She just had her first kiss and she had shared it with Baelfire! It was SUCH a magical experience! She also kept wondering what that feeling in her heart was. Could it be what she thought it was? Could it be her heart telling her that he was the the one? She hoped it was. She wouldn’t mind giving her heart to Bae and spending the rest of her life with him. Why was she thinking like this? She never thought such sappy thoughts before. A year ago, she would’ve been content never to have a man in her life. But now? She kept thinking these thoughts as she walked quietly to her room. She opened the door to her bedchamber and to her surprise, there was Eleanor, sitting on her bed waiting for her.
“What are you doing in my bedchamber? And sitting on my bed?” She asked her lady-in-waiting.
“Just waiting for you to get home and making sure that you got home safely.” She said as she rose from the bed.
“Actually, I’m glad you’re in my room. Guess what happened tonight??” She excitedly asked as she began to undress and get ready for bed.
“Uhh… I don’t know! Tell me.”
“Bae kissed me!!!” She exclaimed excitedly.
“He WHAT???” Eleanor asked. Her brown eyes wide with disbelief as she helped Emma out of her clothes.
“And I kissed him back!” Emma’s voice was muffled as she slipped her nightgown on over her smock. “Oh, Eleanor, it was the most beautiful and magical moment of my life!” She added dreamily as she let herself dramatically fall backward on her bed. She sighed happily.
Eleanor wasn’t really sharing in Emma’s excitement. “Magical, huh?” She asked. “You do know what they say about magic, don’t you?” She put her hands on her hips.
Emma sat up and looked at her. “That it’s magical?”
“No!! That it always comes with a price.”
“Pfft!” Emma laughed at her comment. “Yeah! Real, ACTUAL magic. Not a KISS! Kisses aren’t actual magic. There’s no price to pay, you silly foolish girl!”
Eleanor rolled her eyes. “Just be careful, Emma,” she cautioned.
“Be careful?” Emma repeated puzzledly. “Of a KISS???”
“Yes. It may seem like no big deal now, but an innocent kiss can lead to not so innocent other things.”
Emma still looked puzzled. She wasn’t getting it. “Like…?” She prodded.
“Well…” Eleanor was starting to blush. “You know … stuff.” She used her eyebrows to emphasize the word ‘stuff’.
Emma finally understood what she was getting at and looked horrified at the realization. “Oh my goodness, EW!!!” She exclaimed. “No!! Oh, NO!! It was just a kiss! Neither one of us is ready for THAT yet!”
“You think that now, Emma, and I’m glad you do, but what happens if or when you two fall deeper in love? What then? You always need to remember and keep in mind that you two are NOT married. Therefore you have NO business getting intimate with each other. In fact, being that you two kissed, you should really tell your parents. Or at least the queen. You two can properly court and you won’t be tempted to do anything immoral.”
Emma still looked horrified. “No.” She said defiantly. “I am NOT telling my parents about Bae. They’ll just tell me I can’t see him anymore and I don’t want that.”
Eleanor looked at her annoyedly. Emma just didn’t understand. She sighed. So naive. She thought to herself. I hope Bae is who and what you think he is.
Emma looked down at her lap and then back at her lady-in-waiting. “I - I promise we won’t do anything like that, okay?” She sounded hurt and Eleanor suddenly felt bad. Emma had just had a wonderful night and she pretty much ruined the whole experience for her. Emma sighed before going on. “You know? I think … I think that I love Baelfire.” She said slowly. “He makes me happy and he’s really kind. I - told him that I love him tonight.”
“You did?”
“Yeah,” she nodded her head. “And he said he loved me too. It took him a minute but I think he was just scared. He’s really shy, you know.”
“Yeah, isolation will do that to you.” Eleanor pointed out. “You think he meant it?” She wondered if she maybe shouldn’t have asked that.
“Oh yes.” Emma answered quickly. “I could tell he meant it. I can tell when people lie or tell the truth, remember? Plus, he … ya know, I could tell he was really nervous when he told me how he felt - right before we kissed, that is - and he still told me. He was really brave. I found it really, really admirable. And he kissed me SO gently, Eleanor! He kissed me as if he was afraid I was going to break. I mean, this was my first kiss so for all I know, all men could kiss like that, but I don’t know! He - he seemed to kiss me like Daddy kisses Mother. Sweet and gentle.” She sighed. “I know I’ve always said that my parents are gross but … but I lied all those years. I’ve always wanted a man who would treat me like Daddy treats Mother. And … and I think Bae would treat me like that.”
Eleanor was quiet as she took in what the crown princess was telling her. Emma seemed excited about all this but she wasn’t so sure. She wanted to be, for Emma’s sake, but she just wasn’t sure about the whole “liking Baelfire” thing. Emma was sure and convinced that he was a good person who was as light as his father is dark, but was she right? Yes, Emma was always a good judge of character, but for the princess’ sake, she hoped that it was true and that her heart wasn’t blinding her judgement. She guessed that time would tell.
“Well,” Emma’s voice brought Eleanor back to reality. “I’m suddenly exhausted. I’d love to sit here and talk to you about my magical experience all night but I need some sleep!” She yawned as she finished her sentence and Eleanor stood up from the bed.
“You need anything before you go to sleep, Crown Princess?” She asked before heading out the door.
Emma shook her head as she snuggled in under her blankets. “No. I’m good for the night, but thank you anyway.”
“Okay then,” Eleanor replied. “I’ll see you in the morning when it’s time to help you dress.” She added as she stepped outside of Emma’s bedchamber and quietly closed the door behind her.
Emma watched her exit her room before stretching to blow out her lantern. She nestled back into her bed under her covers and closed her eyes. As she tried to fall asleep she again recalled the events of tonight. She thought of Baelfire and what he might be thinking at this moment. Was he thinking the same thing she was? That he had possibly found his match? His possible soulmate? She smiled as she thought of Bae. There was just something about him that made her happy. As she laid in bed falling asleep, she couldn’t help but wonder what the future would hold for the two of them.
Next chapter
Thank you so much for reading!!! And can I just say that I LOVE BAE & EMMA SO STINKIN’ MUCH??? Agh! #CoupleGoals
#SwanFire#EmmaSwan#Baelfire#PrincessEmma#Secrets Lies and Blessings A SwanFire Fanfic#CharmingFamily#EnchantedForest#Once Upon a Time#OUAT
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October part 4
A/N: i had this ready for so long and decided to rewrite it last night and i didn’t proofread to the best of my abilities so im sorry. all parts are tagged under october fic
Warnings: none
Word count: 2k (the longest chapter so far at least)
Emma and Hannah talked for the rest of the night about anything they could. When no one spoke, they sat in a comfortable silence until it was broken with one of them sarcastically threatening the other or speaking with no provocation.
“Cough one more time and I’ll throw you in the lake” -Emma 9:34
“What do you think our pets name us?” -Hannah 9:57
“Thanks, I hate it” -Emma 10:22
“How confused do you think a lion would be if it saw an octopus?” -Hannah 10:49
“Frankenstein is oddly symmetrical” -Also Hannah
After the last one Emma finally looked up. “You know, it’s times like these when I wonder how we ever became friends’
“We were both lonely so we decided to be lonely together”
“Ah right, the greatest mistake of my life” Emma recalled. Hannah’s jaw dropped in shock
“Emma!”
“Okay okay i’m sorry” Emma couldn’t hold back her laughter “I should probably go, it’s getting late here” She glanced at the clock 11:52pm.
“Oh sure break my heart and run away why don’t you” Hannah spoke flatly before they said their goodbyes and hung up.
Emma hadn’t noticed how dark her room had actually become until Hannah had hung up. Her laptop providing the only light in the room. She quickly changed and got into bed, pulling the duvet up over her shoulders. She started to ponder the events of the day, almost definitely overthinking everything. How could you have already made him hate you.
Harrison lied awake in his bed, he’d been struggling to sleep for a while. The photo still etched into his brain. Did something happen? Was it just for a project? He’d never craved answers so much. If he could actually talk to her without making a fool of himself then maybe he’d get them. After about another hour and a glass of water, sleep finally took over.
A few days had passed and went pretty well. Emma had already figured out how to get around set, at least to the important parts; Her trailer, Toms trailer, Z’s, Jacob’s. The important ones. Her first interview of the day was Tony, she had to wait an hour or so for Z and Jacob to finish their next scene so she stayed in Tony’s trailer and talked with him.
They asked each other an abundance of questions. By the end of it Tony could have probably written her biography. Emma could have answered any questions you had about him. Favourite food? Favourite colour? She knows it.
“You and Tony got real close huh?” Z asked after her interview.
Emma shrugged “I guess so. I mean, he’s really nice and we had an hour to kill so we just.. Talked. Things just flowed. It was a nice change honestly”
‘Change from what?” Z looked over at her as Emma sighed. “Come sit here, we’re gonna be awhile” she patted the seat next to her and Emma sat down.
“A change from from what?” Zendaya repeated
“Holland and co” Emma paused “They're all super nice don’t get me wrong, Sam and I constantly. Just whenever Harrison is there things get kinda awkward”
Zendayas features soften, her voice filled with sympathy “He’s just like that sometimes I guess. Tom and him have been friends for years already. Just don’t take it to heart Em.” Emma nodded “Good. Now tonight you’re coming back to my hotel with me and we’re gonna talk got it? Great”
Emma chuckled “I see that i get no say in this whatsoever”
Zendaya shook her head “None at all”
Once Z wrapped, her driver drove both of them back to her hotel, which was significantly larger than Emmas.
“Okay important stuff first” Zendaya starts as soon as the door shuts behind them. “Hogwarts house. Favourite musical. Favourite band or artist or whatever” she counts them off on her fingers as she speaks.
Emma smiled “Ravenclaw, les mis or grease, probably Bowie”
“Bowie, really?” Zendaya echoed as they sat down on the couch, Emma nodded
“Yeah or maybe the Beatles” Zendaya looked shocked “What do you think i only ever listen to orchestra music?”
“No just didn’t picture you as a classic rock fan”
“I’m just full of surprises” Emma spoke sarcastically.
“Okay well I still know nothing about you and that seems kind of unfair considering you could google everything about me. So tell me stuff” Z leaned in closer, whispering the last sentence
“How personal do you want me to get?” Emma asked
“As much as your comfortable with” Z explained.
“I mean if were going all the way back I lived with my mom growing up, bout an hour outside of Toronto, never really knew my dad. I have a few vague memories but he left when I was six so they aren’t much. I’ve always been pretty music-oriented and my family never knew where I got it from. They were all science and math people My best friend, Hannah, we met when we were 7 at a youth band thing and have been stuck together since. We did everything together. We actually both graduated early and applied to the same universities but she stayed in the city to do musical neuroscience and I moved six hours away for performance music and then switched into composition” Emma ended.
“What about like dating and stuff? There's no way you’ve never had a boyfriend” Z leaned back, resting her elbow on the back of the couch, holding her head up.
“I dated the same guy for all four years of high school and into uni” Zendaya’s eyes went wide “Yeah it was really good at first but around the end of my junior year it got ugly. But we’d been dating so long I was almost convinced that it was normal. Once I got into university it got really bad and that’s when I came to my senses” Emma spoke calmly. Something about Z made her easy to trust.
The rest of the night went by quickly. They talked, ordered food, and watched Brooklyn Nine-Nine for the rest of the night.
The next two weeks on set went by pretty much the same. When Emma wasn’t doing post-scene interviews, she was in either Toms, Zs or Tony’s trailer. She had become pretty close with some more of the cast, particularly Jacob and Remy, definitely the most comfortable with Tony though. She’d grown pretty close with Sam and Harry. Even becoming closer with Harrison. To the point were the two of them plus Sam watched the dark knight rises in Tom’s trailer after Emma had admitted to never having seen it. Even still, it was always fleeting gazes or staring way too long with both of them, neither approaching the other unless someone else was there, and still, they were all stutters and flushed cheeks.
Emma had not had a good morning so far. It was Michael’s last day on set for a while so it was going to be only her now. Of course the first day without Michael and she woke up late and couldn’t get her coffee maker to work and found that the pants she’d planned on wearing, she hadn’t packed. Instead opting for a black skirt and a yellow top with the same pair of ankle boots as always, her hair pulled into a ponytail. Michael had gone in early so the drive to set was just Iris and Emma. It was slightly awkward, normally Michael would be the one to speak up and start conversations but without him there it was silent. The only good part of her morning so far, had been Iris offering to stop and get coffee when Emma told her of her morning so far.
Once she was out of the car, Emma started towards her and Michaels trailer, coffee in hand and her bag on her back. She felt her phone start to ring and pulled it out of the waistband of her skirt and with one hand, answered it holding it up to her ear
“Oh perfect you answered” Michael started, not even giving emma time to say hello “I have some stuff for you to listen to once you get here. I’d really like your input”
“Okay. Iris just dropped me off I’ll be there in like two minutes” Emma found herself walking in between the abundance of trailers.
“Great. You remember which one right?”
“Yes of course I do Michael, it’s been two weeks. I’ll be fine. Bye”
“Okay well just text if you get lost. Bye now”
Emma pushed her phone back into her waistband. She looked up, but not soon enough to avoid the chest she walked straight into, the other person also on their phone.
Harrison
Emma stumbled back, dropping her pretty much full coffee on the ground. Harrisons hands immediately went to her waist to stabilize her, feeling her stiffen underneath his touch.
“Sorry about that, I should’ve been paying more attention” Emma looked up at Harrison. He was easily six inches taller than her. Everything she’d worried about during the very first interview had come true. She wasn’t able to look away now. She noticed the smallest details about him that she hadn’t before. Like the way his eyes got more green towards the outside, or the light stubble along his jaw, or how his cheeks seemed slightly more pink than normal.
“It’s alright darling, just watch out next time, yeah?” Harrison gave a small smile and Emma nodded. They were both lost in each other for a few moments. As if they were trying to memorize every detail of the other. Like the faint freckles scattered across her nose and cheeks.
Darling? It had rolled so easily off his lips, he hadn’t even noticed he said it.
It took a minute before Harrison realized how close they really were. He reluctantly pulled his hands away from her waist. As he did Emma broke their eye contact and took a step back, bending down to pick up the fallen cup.
“Ill uh.. I’ll buy you a new one” Harrison spoke, Emma looked up at him as she stood.
“No no you don’t have to really” She shook her head “It’s just a coffee. It’s not a big deal” They stood there for a moment, neither speaking, Harrisons hands in his pockets as Emma’s fiddled with the now empty cup “I should uh” Emma wet her lips quickly “I should get going” she barely looked up as the both nodded and she walked towards the trailer.
Once she was inside she threw out the cup and grabbed a paper towel to wipe off the drops of coffee that had bounced up onto her legs. She placed her stuff on her desk and dragged her chair over to Michaels desk.
“You wanted me to listen to something?” she said as she sat down
“Yeah yeah give me one second” he said placing a few final notes in the composition program before hitting play on the theme he had written so far for the movie. After about four minutes, what he has so far ends. He looks towards Emma with a questioning glance “So?
“I uh It’s amazing obviously but.. I think it should have less to do with that triumphant superhero stuff you’ve got going on and more towards Peters loyalty and concern for his friends. I definitely wouldn’t scrap this though, maybe just not for the scene you’ve got it for” Michael nods as Emma speaks. Adding little “hm”s and “okay”s here and there.
“How about this. I want you to write it for this scene” Emma’s eyes widen in shock.
“Waitwaitwait you- I- you want me to write part of the score?” Emma barely stutters out
“Well yeah. Your name doesn’t get put in the credits unless you actually write something because technically you work for me not marvel and I want you name in there as badly as you probably do. So if you write something, you get credit.” Michael looks over at Emma, her jaw dropped. “I’ll take that as yes but Emma you’re going to catch flies. I have a meeting to go to now but you know what to do” Michael grabbed his bag and left.
Heres some writers that let me tag them :)
@cherryhollands @darlintom @starksparker @starksmile @hollandroos @marvelellie @dej-okay @h-osterfield @upsidedownparker
Taglist: @rainbow-marvel (thanks :))
#Harrison osterfield#harrison x oc#harrison osterfield x oc#haz osterfield#haz osterfield x oc#haz x oc#haz#october fic
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In Focus
Rated M - Chapter 3/? (Ch. 1, Ch. 2)
Emma Swan’s CEO fiance Graham Humbert has hired a wedding photographer to capture every aspect of the wedding planning process. Killian Jones usually hates these stuck-up, spoiled rich brides he captures on film, but Emma is different.
Disclaimer: This fic contains elements that may be squicky or disturbing to some of the CS audience. I want you to know that both Emma and Killian have sexual relationships with other characters in this fic. They also both get very drunk at different times throughout the story. So if you have an aversion to alcohol abuse (especially as a crutch), and you can’t stand the idea of Emma and Killian being with other people, this may not be the story for you. However, that said, you should know that I never write CS fic without a happy ending. :) So if you can stick it out, I promise satisfaction.
Psst. @awkwardnessandbaseball is an incredible beta! <3 Thank you, babe!
Read it on AO3
Three months into the planning process and Emma Swan was already completely wiped out. She felt overloaded with orders and deliveries and do-it-yourself wedding favors. At this point, she deeply regretted not hiring a wedding planner to do most of the work for her, but she’d considered it a personal challenge. Graham was generally busy with work, so why not throw herself into this particular project?
The week had been taxing, and Emma was not only tired from a combination of work and wedding planning; she was sick. She had wanted to spend some time getting crazy with Ruby to blow off a bit of steam, but the girls’ night out was canceled when Emma’s sniffles and sinus pressure got out of control.
Emma flipped through the offerings on Netflix, clicking past Action/Adventure and Drama, and cruising into the Romance section. On the rare night that Graham was able to sit still for two hours, they leaned toward a Jason Bourne-type flick. Tonight, he was out schmoozing with Japanese clients, and she was relegated to the sofa with a box of tissues and a steaming-hot mug of chicken soup.
As she tapped her way through the romance section, her phone dinged. Emma raised it and opened the video she had been sent.
Killian was singing his heart out on stage. Ruby had keenly placed a few heart-eyes emojis around him in the frame. With a laugh, Emma shook her head and replied with some text and a photo.
Looks like fun. And hearts? Are you telling me this is going past just screwing around? The photo she included was her best attempt at a slightly-less-than-miserable face.
Message from Ruby: He’s an 11 in bed, if you know what I mean. ;) But he seems like something’s holding him back from considering it a relationship. Might be your wedding, but not worried. I’m here to have a good time, and so is he. He’s just fucking gorgeous.
Emma was unable to disagree. She had noticed it the first time she met him. His deep blue eyes were quite alluring. If she hadn’t been an engaged woman...well, she would not have a wedding photographer, so that was just a silly thing to think. She groaned to think about him being good in bed. If he could please Ruby, he could please anyone. And if she was being honest with herself, she hadn’t been properly pleased in months. The spark had gone out of her love life with Graham. In the past, the fire was hot and it burned quite often. But now there was...nothing. And she was committing herself to a lifetime of nothing.
Enjoy! She sent back to her friend before tossing the phone on the table and cuddling down into the pillows on the sofa.
--
Registry day. Emma was armed with a scanner-gun-thingy and a list of items she wanted from the high-end boutique. Graham was at her side, thumbing texts into his phone and half-heartedly paying attention to her ramblings about china patterns.
“I think the blue on that one clashes with our carpet. I mean, the pattern itself is nice, but the color is all wrong. Why don’t we do like...all white, or something?” Emma turned over a bone china serving platter and examined its size.
“You’re right,” Graham muttered. He tapped a few more words into the phone as Emma went silent and stared across the section. The photographer had just arrived. Killian was hurrying past a stack of over-priced bathroom towels. He smiled at Emma. She felt her stomach do a little flip and swallowed hard, pushing the feelings away.
“Hey, there he is,” Emma grinned.
“Seriously, I’m never taking an Uber again in this city. All Yellow Cabs for me,” Killian chuckled. “Sorry, guys.”
“No, it’s fine. We haven’t really done much,” Graham muttered. He looked up from his phone and finally tucked it into his pocket. “And yeah, I do Yellow. Uber seems...difficult in the city.”
“Indeed,” Killian pulled his camera strap around his neck and lifted it. “Scan away.”
Graham reached for the scanner, taking it out of Emma’s hands. She blinked and watched as he slid around the display, scanning six barcodes without stopping to ask for her opinion.
“Uh,” Emma jumped into his path and held up her hands, “Easy cowboy. Remember, there’s like...stuff we actually need and stuff we don’t. Like those.”
She pointed to a set of fancy, battery-operated, chrome plated salt and pepper shakers that her fiance had just scanned. Graham pursed his lips and looked back at his fiancee.
“What do you mean? I like those.”
“They’re stupid,” Emma sighed. “We have salt and pepper shakers already. They’re very nice.”
“Yeah,” Graham wrinkled his nose, “but I mean the whole point of getting married is so people buy you stuff, right? So why not register for newer, cooler ones?”
Emma’s gaze narrowed and Graham physically stepped backward. “Okay, so not the whole point, but...why not?”
“We don’t need them,” she reiterated, placing her hands on her hips. Killian stood by silently, glancing around the store as if he wasn’t hearing them disagreeing again. “And maybe try asking my opinion before you just...scan everything?”
“Emma,” Graham laughed, “they’re gifts. Just let me scan. Okay? We’ll take back what we don’t want or need. But I want the salt and pepper shakers.”
“Fine. Then I’m getting the all-white China,” Emma conceded, sighing.
Graham halted and cocked his head to the side. “We have dishes. We don’t really need more dishes. They’re good dishes. My Mum sent them from Ireland. Remember? The one broke and we had to get it replaced and it took bloody ages…”
“Let me get this straight, if we have a perfectly good set of something we shouldn’t replace it, unless you want it?” Emma’s eyebrow cocked. Out of the corner of her eye, she watched Killian grimace, trying to hide it behind his camera.
“Don’t start,” Graham grumbled and pushed past her. “Just scan things, okay?”
Emma found the scanner shoved back into her hand. Graham meandered away, pulling out his phone once more. Closing her eyes, she took in a deep breath and tried desperately to control her temper, feeling it rising up her body.
“I think they’re stupid, too,” Killian finally chimed in, “for what it’s worth.”
“The plates?”
“Nah, the salt and pepper shakers,” he smirked and snapped a photo of the set. “I’ll file them with ‘ugly things’.”
Emma laughed, shaking her head. He had a way of being able to erase her tension. She nodded and moved to the china set she had been eyeing. With a particular flourish to her movements, she scanned the item, then winked at the photographer. Snap. Brilliant.
--
Another few weeks passed, and Killian spent his time between his place, Ruby’s place, and working a few one-off shoots for publications or private customers. His next appointment for the Humbert wedding was at Graham and Emma’s apartment, where invitations were to be addressed. Graham had assured him it would be just a few photos, and then he could leave, as there was bound to be nothing too exciting about writing addresses.
Finishing off a coffee, Killian knocked firmly on the door to Graham’s apartment. When the door opened, the last thing he expected was exactly what he got.
Emma answered, a glass of wine in one hand. She was in sweats and a baggy t-shirt, and she looked irritated.
“Hey,” she sighed, shifting her weight, “I’m thinking maybe we should do this another time. Graham got called out on a meeting...and...we had kind of a fight about it. I’m not in the best…”
“I can focus on your hands, if you like? And...listen?” Killian shrugged, offering a friendly smile. “Not as your photographer, but...as an open ear? A friend? Or I can bugger off, either way.”
Considering it, Emma gave a nod and stepped back to allow him into the apartment. She closed the door behind him and shuffled to the coffee table, where piles upon piles of laser-cut gold lace invitations were waiting for her.
“I took calligraphy classes to learn this stuff,” Emma said with a bemused laugh. She shook her head, “I mean, I’ve always got time, right?”
Taking a seat across from her, Killian moved the chair slightly closer and put his camera bag aside. “They’re beautiful.”
She nodded and took in a shaky breath. “They never end. The meetings and the calls...It’s like I’m this person with all of these friends and this loving fiance, and...I’m lonely.”
Killian folded his hands and licked his lips before taking a deep breath, himself. “Have you talked to him about it?”
“Yep,” Emma nodded, finishing off her glass of wine before standing, “talking about it is why my mascara is running and I’m day-drinking. Want some?” She wiggled the empty glass in his direction.
“Not on the clock, thanks,” he adjusted the focus on one of his cameras, snapping off a few photos of the invites themselves.
“I’m your boss. You’re allowed to have a drink if I say so,” Emma insisted. “Or are you a beer kinda guy? Because I’ve got some of that, too.”
With a soft chuckle, Killian nodded. “I’ll have a beer then, thanks.”
Emma returned a few moments later and placed a cold bottle on the table in front of him. Her glass was very full of a deep red wine. She wiggled her fingers before picking up a pen from the table. “So how are things with Ruby?”
Killian stammered slightly and cleared his throat. “I don’t...I don’t think talking about Ruby and I is going to help…”
“I mean, I know most of it,” she laughed bitterly and shook her head, “you guys are fucking like bunnies.”
He paused with his beer halfway to his lips and swallowed hard, then took a swig from the bottle. Clearly, Emma had been drinking for a while. She was right, though. Ruby had an appetite, and she could make him forget about Milah for a few hours at a time. She served a purpose.
“C-can you maybe shift to the left a little?” He put the bottle down and picked up his camera, snapping off a couple of shots of her writing.
“She brags about you,” Emma continued. She glanced up at him. For the first time, he noticed how red and watery her eyes were. She was hurting, and it was bad.
“Emma,” he sighed, putting the camera down. “Stop.”
She paused, then dropped the pen. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered, covering her face with her hands. “I’m losing it.”
He knew better. He knew he shouldn’t be involved in their personal problems. But there was no way this wedding would be a success if Emma fell to pieces. He pulled the camera from around his neck and moved closer to her. “Come here,” he whispered.
Emma leaned sideways. She fell against his chest. Killian wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close to him. Right now, she needed a hug, and he was the only person who could offer that to her. “Will it help if I tell you a story?”
With a sniffle, Emma shrugged. So he began.
“Once upon a time, a young lad from England came to the United States to find himself,” he said with a soft smile, “and when he came here, he met a beautiful woman named Milah.”
Emma turned her head to look up at him slightly, her brows furrowed. Apparently, she had not expected to hear about an ex.
“He married Milah. She was fun and exciting and she had all of the joy he knew he needed in life. They moved onto a boat and made a home for themselves. The lad started taking photos of people, and they made a nice life. Milah loved his photos. She also loved his music. They were passionate and crazy and young and stupid but they did it all together,” he said, his voice steady.
Emma relaxed a bit in his arms.
“One day, Milah came home from work. Her body language was...it was all wrong. The lad wondered if maybe he’d done something wrong, as you know, lads do,” he smirked slightly. “But she told him she’d met someone else. And she wanted a divorce.”
This time, Emma sat up and pulled out of his embrace. She gazed at him for a long moment, her eyes searching his.
“So the lad gave her the divorce, and she married...someone else. And now he takes photos of other people when they get married,” he shrugged. “But she still haunts him. Every day.”
“Killian,” she whispered, shaking her head. “I had no idea. How can...how can you take photos of weddings when your own marriage fell apart?”
He chuckled. “It didn’t fall apart. It abruptly exploded. Because there were apparently things we didn’t say to each other.”
She reached up and rubbed at her cheek, pushing away tears. “So the moral of the story is...I need to talk to him or I’m going to lose it all.”
Killian thought for a moment. He licked his lips and drew in a deep breath. “Yes. You need to be clear about what you want, and what you don’t. For us, I wanted kids. Milah did not. She wanted success and she wanted money. A struggling photographer and musician who lives on a boat is hardly a suitable husband for that kind of woman.”
Emma was pensive. She reached over and threw her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. Killian paused, then wrapped his arms around her in return. “I think you guys will be okay,” he said, his voice calm. “You’ve been together a long time, and you can work it out. I know it.”
“Thank you,” Emma breathed. She pulled back and smiled. “Ruby’s lucky to have a guy like you.”
He chuckled. “Nah, Graham is the lucky one.”
The lock to the front door beeped and opened. Graham, looking disheveled and a little put out, stepped inside. He paused as he saw Killian.
“Oh shit, I forgot all about the invitation photos,” he muttered, scrubbing his face with his hand.
“No worries, mate,” Killian stuffed his camera into his bag and stood. He gestured to the spot next to Emma. “I got a few shots. I think, um, I think I’m all set.”
Graham offered his hand and forced a smile. Killian shook it firmly. “Thank you, then. We’ll see you in a few weeks.”
“Aye, sounds good,” Killian turned back to Emma and raised an eyebrow. “Have a good night then, Miss Swan.”
He stepped out of the apartment door and closed it behind him. Emma was officially closer to him than Ruby had been in the past few weeks. Ruby was a romp in the sheets. Emma...Emma made his heart flutter and his stomach twist. But she wasn’t his. She couldn’t be his. And he would never do anything to pull her away from Graham. Not ever.
--
“You’ve got yourself in a right state,” Liam Jones smirked and shoved another pint across the bar top. Killian exchanged the full glass with his empty and nodded.
“After Milah, I’d never...ever think about a woman who was married to someone else. But...what if...I think they’re not right for each other?” He drew in a deep breath. “Do I say something?”
“Do you want to get paid?” Liam raised an eyebrow and wiped his hands on a towel. He threw the cloth over his shoulder and leaned forward. The Sailor’s Inn, the bar he owned and operated near the Jersey side of the George Washington Bridge, was dead this time of night.
“Of course,” Killian sighed. “But is it the right thing to do? Get paid and bugger off and leave her to a lifetime of disappointment and misery?”
Liam shook his head, “Remember, you’re only seeing a snippet of their lives together, and it happens to be a pretty busy and stressful time. There has to be a reason she agreed to marry him.”
“They’ve been together for eight years,” Killian muttered into his glass before taking a swig.
Gesturing with wide open hands, Liam shrugged. “Again, gotta be a reason.”
Killian nodded in agreement.
“Tell me about this Ruby girl,” Liam stood and moved to pour himself a beer. He flipped the switch beneath the counter which turned off the neon ‘Open’ sign near the door.
The younger brother Jones pursed his lips. “She’s hot. Insatiable. But...again, not...what I’m looking for. I think I’m gonna put an end to it. Just hope she’s not crazy enough to fuck up the wedding.”
“Want to kick her my number?”
Killian leaned his head to the side and gave Liam a look of annoyance. “You want my seconds? Sure. I thought you were seeing that girl from Jersey City.”
“Nah,” Liam shook his head, “didn’t work out. Besides, you know I’m more into blondes.”
“Then Ruby is not for you,” Killian smirked. “There is a really beautiful blonde bridesmaid, though. Elsa. No ring.”
“Yeah?” The older man grinned and laughed. “Probably not a chance. These are rich girls, eh?”
After Killian’s divorce, Liam had left his home in England and joined his younger brother in the States. Liam was undoubtedly more successful, but he was more of a working-class type of man than most girls wanted. At 35, Liam had all but given up on finding ‘The One’.
“I don’t know, mate. I think I need a change of scenery after I’m done with this gig. Fancy a trip to Boston?” Killian finished off his pint.
“I, uh, I don’t think that’s such a good plan,” Liam spoke slowly. He was obviously searching for a decent explanation, outside of the truth.
Killian’s gaze narrowed. “Why?”
With a heavy sigh, Liam turned to the back of the bar. He grabbed a tabloid and tossed it to land in front of his brother.
The front page of the supermarket rag was plastered with photos of some Kardashian or another. Killian’s brow raised. Liam flipped open to the middle of the magazine, where a blazing red headline and an accompanying photo made his gut clench.
Billionaire Robert Gold Separates from Wife
New Ex Milah Jets to Boston
The photo was of Milah, caked in thick makeup, holding her hand up to fight off the oppressive flashes of the paparazzi. She and her husband Robert were not necessarily of the socialite kind, but Milah knew what she was doing when she left Killian. She had married a man of political and social influence for his money. And now, it seemed, they had separated. Killian wondered exactly why.
“I probably shouldn’t have shown you,” Liam said calmly, taking a sip from his beer. “But I didn’t want you to run into her.”
“No, it’s fine,” Killian reassured him. He pushed the magazine away and shook his head. “She’s his problem now, not mine.”
“Atta lad,” Liam poured his brother another pint and an accompanying shot of bourbon. “Let’s get pissed and forget about the women for the night, eh?”
--
He believed the proper nautical term for his condition was ‘Three Sheets to the Wind’. Roger walked alongside him as Killian meandered down the road to the docks, singing loudly to himself. His companion had a strange sense about him, wherein he usually walked on the water’s edge as if to keep Killian from stumbling into the sea.
Killian pulled his phone from his pocket and thumbed through his contacts. He paused on the docks. Roger whined and nudged him with his nose. The dog couldn’t possibly be warning him against drunk texting, could he? Nah, he was probably hungry.
Did he apologize?
He clicked send. Only then did he notice that it was 3am.
“Oops,” he muttered, continuing down the docks toward his rinky-dink houseboat.
His phone pinged. Blinking, he paused again and looked at it.
Message from Emma Swan: Yes. I think you helped a lot. We really talked for the first time in a long time. He even avoided answering a call in the middle of our discussion. You might have saved this marriage. Thank you.
Drawing in a deep breath, he paused and leaned against a light pole. Fantastic. He was the ‘troubled couple whisperer’. The phone pinged again.
Message from Emma Swan: Tell Ruby I said hi.
He frowned and thumbed a message back to her.
No Ruby here. Just me and Roger.
No response, so he tucked his phone into his pants and wandered back onto his boat, the ‘Jewel’. Once on board, he kicked off his shoes and fed Roger before collapsing onto the bed. He was going to be so hungover in the morning. It also would be a miracle if the spinning sensations stopped anytime soon. He tried the trick of placing one foot flat on the floor. No dice.
His phone pinged.
Message from Emma Swan: Oops. Um, I guess you’re not exclusive then. She said she had a date.
Killian laughed and shook his head. Not surprising.
I had a date with my brother. And Roger. We drank a lot.
I mean Rog didn’t. But I did. Hence the timing of these texts.
Sorry.
Message from Emma Swan: No worries. I like hearing from you. I think we’ll be good friends, after the wedding’s over.
Friends. He wasn’t sure he could handle being friends with Emma Swan...Emma Humbert. With her sexy smile and incredible ass and the way she had access to incredible finery but loved the simple things in life. Not if she belonged to another man. He wouldn’t tempt fate like that. He would NOT be Robert Gold.
Message from Emma Swan: Anyway. Goodnight.
“Goodnight,” he muttered aloud.
--
Emma felt Graham’s bare chest press against her back. She placed her phone down on the nightstand and sunk back against him. He muttered groggily.
“Who you talkin’ to?”
Emma shook her head. “Wedding plans.”
“At three o’clock in the mornin’?” He placed a kiss between her shoulders. “Relax. It can wait. C’mere.”
She turned to face him and gave him a kiss. It felt...hollow. There was nothing there. No longer did she have a spark when it came to Graham. Even when they did make love that night, it was more...out of obligation than desire. Something was off. Maybe it was the wedding. Maybe it was his constant need to do and be the best, despite what she actually needed. Or maybe…
She drew in a breath. “Sorry to wake you. Go back to sleep.”
But he already was. She received a soft snore in reply.
#cs fic#mc cs au fic#captain swan#In Focus#chapter 3#not a great one#but here you are#womp womp#pls reblog if you like it
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