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forgottenthreads · 18 days

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So this cropped up as a comment I got elsewhere and it felt like it needed its own discussion.

Straight people don't suffer from discrimination for being straight. Hope that helps

{deliberately not giving a username cause I don't want to start beef xD}

I don't know if that's true.

I have no life experience there... But I'd assume this is never true of any group, just because one group are in a majority or several groups have a plurality doesn't mean they don't face any sort of prejudice or impacts based on having any identity. There are reasons why for example being married and having children are protected characteristics a person might have.

It doesn't invalidate your own experiences to acknowledge that someone else might have their own and that those experiences might not be positive in all cases.

The above reply @ me came up in a discussion about Ace erasure within fandoms and I commented that fandoms do straight erasure too. I had limited space so nuance was neither possible in my post nor their reply.

Fandoms queerify straights too. Iirc slashfic is it's own whole genre of coupling against authorial intent.

I was trying to express that the problem is bigger than just Ace people, there's a bigger fundamental issue with people writing coupling that is against canon depiction and how the practice is far wider than just the impacts on acespec people.

I wanted to include more about how just because someone is "straight" or anything else doesn't mean that they're attracted to all the variations of humans that the term implies. A character might be straight but they can still have a type, they might be straight but might only love one or two romantic partners their entire life. They might be straight and Arospec because they can only ever love their one person. By coupling any character with someone outside of the cannon depictions it could be an act of ace erasure.

I err on Ace/Aro in all cases, unless a character says they're *identity* then they might only be attracted to the few people they fall for in the medium. They aren't necessary attracted to all xyz people either, it might only be that one specific person or a handful of people.

Just because a character is straight doesn't mean they would hook up with every person of the opposite gender if they could. There are as many varieties of straight attraction as there are queer identities.

Yet it's a huge unwritten assumption that if you're writing fanfic then shipping anyone with anyone is generally okay regardless of the cannon of the source media, the characters may be enemies or might never meet or even come from completely different franchises and it's still okay to make those ships in many cases without issue.

It's perfectly acceptable to inject any queer relationship upon any character that has expressed no identity or has only expressed attraction in a limited capacity. A character with hetnormative attraction never said they had no queer identities, and one person might make inferences others might not see so to them it's "okay" to ship even in queer directions.

There's a convention that if a character is already queer to not take that identity from them entirely. Making gay or saphic characters bi or pan isn't unheard of so long as they express that in ways that are predominantly gay or saphic. But there's often context and execution to consider for if this is deemed okay by anyone other than the fic's author.

But the pattern is at its core the same. We're all fighting the same fight to have our identity respected. And the pattern is that it's generally okay to add relationships to characters regardless of original cannon.

So now you have context back to my response to the quote that spawned this essay

I find it's often easier to get people on your side by building bridges and offering points of reference with which they share. By showing they have the same problems they might help you fight your corner, at least that's been my experience.

So the reply set off all my "making enemies for no good reason" alarms, it disregards the feelings of an entire group and treats them as a monolith of people who are neither deserving of respect nor consideration in the discussion. Completely disregarding intersectionality etc... putting them on defensive mode rather than keeping them agreeable. And I'm inclined to believe this happened due to space constraints rather than genuine malice but it did spark an essay so it clearly upset me anyways.

So now we come to the point of disclosure because I felt somewhat as though the comment was erasing my identity and assuming I was straight and so not worth listening to on this issue.

I'm Agen/Aro/Ace I want to not have my identity ignored either and I want to get people on side with the discourse. Having more people stand up and say "non canonical coupling hurts people" as a blanket statement is a good thing.

Having more people acknowledge the harms is at least a starting point.

I don't like the attitude saying "it's okay if they're straight, arospec, or if you're really clever with it." Because it erases people, but just cause I don't like the attitude doesn't mean people should stop expressing themselves so long as they're self aware about what they're doing.

And acknowledging that it hurts people doesn't negate that sometimes that hurt is resonable, having more rep for minorities is a generally good thing, most people doing the shipping can make people feel seen and happy.

On an individual level almost every act is one that has a net positive effect and is done out of love. Love for a character or a story or anything else. A fan fic here, a ship there, it all makes the people doing it happy and builds communities.

Even if it hurts to see it happen to your favourite characters no one is actually coming after you personally or your identity by wrapping a character you identify with in a cloke of their own because they identify with them too.

At the same time it's worth acknowledging the cumulative effect can be an overall negative on a group as people see the characters they frequently identify with as being stripped of their core aspects and the result is that many people feel aggressively dismissed and invalidated as though their identity would receive same treatment from the same people.

I'm also Auti/ADHD I see patterns, this is a pattern I've seen and acknowledged and it doesn't stop at fictional characters it applies to real people too, celebrities and the people you walk past on the street.

I have noticed when anyone has their identity usurped by another the people with the original identity in meatspace get defensive and hostile to the people erasing them.

Every act of unrequited love, where someone puts an attraction or implies a non existent desire to be with anyone on someone else it makes those in receipt of the treatment defensive and off put.

Repeated actions like this by a group or an individual can build resentment. If you have no respect for their identity they then become openly hostile to you as an individual and perhaps people who share your identity if the pattern repeats. Resentment builds initially about one individual but eventually to a whole community who share an identity. This doesn't just apply to us Queers defending GSRM identities.

I think some of the growing animosity and phobias that come out of those screaming about woke culture come from seeing people shout and scream that all identities are valid and beautiful while at the same time 'allowing' other people from our same group to abuse them and theirs or just ignoring when it happens because "straight people cannot be the victims of discrimination based on sexual or romantic orientation".

"they want to turn us all gay" might stem from the fact our communities don't respect the het identities of various characters. We do it to fictional characters why wouldn't we do it to real people? (Not that this explanation excuses their behaviour few treat fictional characters the same way they'd treat real people)

Human beings are at their cores pattern recognition and remix engines. We see patterns and in order to simplify our cognitive processes we put things into boxes in our own heads.

Everyone loves pizza, if I'm throwing a party that's a safe bet for a food that won't offend.

An assumption and a stereotype that's relatively harmless, and yet I and you know that people exist with Lactose or Gluten intolerance, people can be allergic to tomatoes or onions or garlic, that vegetarian and vegan people exist in the world. By simplifying the world to that stereotype it makes life easier and we aren't doing it to harm anyone intentionally. Making the conscious effort to overcome the initial stereotyping is in my opinion what separates true bigotry from a bad mistake or a poor decision.

We all recognise patterns and try to simplify our messy existances to avoid existential dread.

While remixing is the idea that most of us will never have a unique idea in our lives. We might combine things that exist in novel ways but every idea we have is built on the experiences we go through and the things we learn, read, see or hear. Remixing is how humanity progresses, how science is done, how great works of literature are produced how we practice our crafts and how we become better individuals as well as a better society on the whole.

Fandoms and the erasure of identities has costs, but it's an example of remixing and an aspect of humanity that is good to nurture even while we acknowledge the short comings within.

Acknowledging the flaws in a thing doesn't stop it from being beautiful. Acknowledging the shortcomings of an experience or an action doesn't make it invalid or of zero worth. And acknowledging that a thing someone else loves has flaws is not a personal attack on that person.

I like your story

Thanks it has pockets

Very few things in this world are entirely without impact or flaws.

Just because there are flaws doesn't imply a moral judgement.

Just because there is an impact doesn't mean that the morality is simple.

Humanity is messy, existance is messy. I wish there was a good simple solution to every problem but unfortunately that's the exception not the rule.

#adhd #actually autistic #arospec #acespec #fanfic #fandom #essay #ideas #gsrm #complex feelings #no good answers #comment response #please discuss

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inkskinned · 1 year

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probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.

we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."

at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.

the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.

the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.

what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.

here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.

#this is true #writeblr #warm up #relatedly for some reason one of our Favorite Jokes #amongst the Siblings #is like - ''this is so good u will love it''#while we are reacting to something we OBVIOUSLY find viscerally disgusting #like we will be actively retching and be like ''nooooo it's so good''#to the point that i sometimes get nervous if someone outside my family is like oh u should try it its good #(obvi we never force each other to eat anything. we are all just curious birds and #like. we're GONNA try the new thing.)#edit to answer why we had so much vanilla:#my mom is a very good cook and we LOVE to bake. so she just had a lot of staples in the house.#it's one of those things that's like. have u ever continuously thought ''ah i should get butter im probably out''#even tho u are not out of butter. so u end up with like 5 years of butter.#my mom would do that in a costco but like with vanilla extract #to be fair we WERE always using WAY TOO MUCH bc we were kids #so like she was right to stock up #ps. yes we were VERY sick after this lol i just didn't want to include it in the post in case ppl had an ick about that #u can tell it's real bc we knew "oh no we fucked up that's too much vanilla to waste'' but our reaction was to just. keep drinking it #> sibling understanding that vanilla extract isn't free > knowledge mother doesnt mind if we use it for milkshakes #> sibling choice to maybe get in a loophole of ''not wasting it'' if we drink it bc that's the same as using it (not throwing it out)#listen bud i was like 13 and my sister was like 9 #when my mom discovered this we. got in. A LOT. of trouble. a lot of it. a LOT of it.#3rd edit bc i guess it isn't clear - i am 1 of my brother's 2 little sisters #i am the middle child #out of all the ways i have had to explain a post before being like ''did u forget a middle child can happen'' is my favorite

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snakeredbirdbatkatana · 6 months

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Batkids calling Bruce when they need him.

Dick gets arrested for underage drinking call my dad now he's not in the slightest scared but he wants his dad. Bruce who already got bail done and is wrapping Dick in a blanket.

Jason crashes a car already on the phone with Bruce who is speeding to him.

Tim is falling asleep at the office and wants to go home dad please pick me up. Waking up tucked in Bruce's bed.

Damian gets in a fight at school you call my father right now. He suspended but Bruce hugs him on the way out.

Cass standing face to face with David Cain the man who should have been her father but isn't but before she can scream for Bruce she's wrapped in his cape.

Duke calling Bruce because the kids at school have never been nice to a kid from the wrong side of the tracks and getting ice cream just because.

Stephanie just calling Bruce to talk knowing no matter how busy he is there will be time for her.

Babs who even though Jim Gordon is a great man after a nightmare about the joker only wants one man. Bruce running in the middle of the night to her door. Wrapping his batgirl in his arms.

Kids who aren't afraid to call Dad. He wont be mad he wants them to call. To know he will drop everything to get to his boys, or his girls. Scared birds shouting for the big bad bat and he comes running.

#good dad bruce wayne #protective dad #tim drake #batfamily #jason todd #damian wayne #dick grayson #bruce wayne #bamf batfamily #batfam #Bruce is only a phone call away #he always answers

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spirk-trek · 3 months

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I ALMOST SPIT OUT MY DRINK HE REALLY WENT "aww... anyway bye!"

#like JIM #star trek #shitposting #lmao LMAO #AND THEN SHE SAYS I'LL MISS YOU AND HE DOESNT ANSWER GIFKFNFIF #idk why i find this so fucking funny #he's like hm no i'm good #get some birth control on your planet first then we'll talk #also i have a boyfriend #the mark of gideon #star trek the original series #season 3 #tos #spirk

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catmanbowser · 5 months

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Please draw leather jacket discowing more I beg of you he is so pretty!!!!! Also maybe leather jacket Cass but ahhh your art???? It's soo goodddd!!!

THANK YOU TEEHEE <3<3

Idk if you’ll see this anon bcs this is an old ask but here you go </3

#cb answers #catman's art #dick grayson #cassandra cain #nightwing #batgirl #dc #i remmebr i have tumblr asks of course i do [lying]#im not good at drawing leather stuff..sorry…tried my best….

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biggest-gaudiest-patronuses · 8 months

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going through my old journals as part of therapy homework and i'm reading a section written in the emotional wreckage of a full-on breakdown when i get hit with this line:

There is never a satisfying answer to ‘Why didn’t they love me?’

like wow babe. good fucking point

#like you were on the ground biting the carpet and dry sobbing while you wrote that and still. good fucking point #not a shitpost #cptsd #and it's true. there's never a satisfying answer #the truth is i know why i wasn't loved #i analyzed my parent's traumas and abuse to death. i understand why i alienated and was alienated from my siblings #i know why my mom was too overwhelmed to be capable of nurturing #i know why my dad vanished into addiction and avoidance #the details of our cycles of trauma and cptsd and family history i have a phd in all of it #i understood perfectly. i spent years studying and now i knew the answer #and guess what? IT WAS NOT SATISFYING!!!#because they still didn't love me! and i still couldn't change that!#it was still a completely unsatisfying state of affairs!#so like. when the people who are supposed to love you...don't.#when the people who are supposed to take care of you...fail to #you can look for answers and reasons and explanations #but that's not actually going to FIX your situation.#and it's probably not within your ability TO fix the situation. (and definitely not your job)#because you don't need answers--you need a new situation #*inserts Just Walk Out. You Can Leave!!! (Running Skeleton) Meme*#and yes. walking out isn't always possible.#but for you i hope it will be one day soon. and i hope you build the courage to take that leap.#stepping away from the people who failed to love you...it feels like being untethered but also like being lighter than air #new and scary. immensely relieving. the future opens up. empty but empty like a canvas. blindingly bright until your eyes adjust #like climbing out of a pit you called home and for the first time realizing how bright the light of day can truly be #when you aren't just getting glimpses from the bottom of a hole

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yueebby · 8 months

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onsen incident — gojo satoru

synopsis. gojo satoru gets everything he wants and right now he really wants to go to an onsen with you.

contents. fluff, lovesick!gojo, he's just a cute loser, highschool!gojo (first year), he needs to be locked up asap

notes. this is part ii to indulge me? and a piece in the series, but can be read alone.

you’re not sure how you ended up here. one moment you were exorcizing a grade one curse that rampaged a small town with gojo and now you find yourself back at the ryokan you had stayed at the prior night. except this time around you have an overly excited gojo, still at a high from the successful mission.

“suguru mentioned how nice the onsens here were,” he brings up innocently, his lips curving into a sly grin. you spare him a side glance.

“we should be heading back to the airport to return to tokyo,” you asserted, eyes trained on the entrance of the onsen— a wooden paneled door leading to the private hot spring that came with the room you and gojo had unknowingly reserved.

gojo stretched leisurely, his body arched like a cat as he yawns, “i don’t know about you but i’m beat! that curse wore out all my energy and a quick dip in an onsen is just what this body needs.” he opens one eye, gauging your reaction.

you don’t buy his act. “you exorcised the curse instantaneously, gojo.”

but gojo doesn’t back down easily, “yeah, well that took up a lot of cursed energy and now i’m drained,” he reasons. the white haired male solidifies his argument by collapsing on you just to show how fatigued he was. his dramatic show nearly sends you tumbling.

annoyance simmered in you, arms folding over your chest. the flight back to tokyo was in a couple of hours, and you had hoped to be able to go sightseeing.

but gojo’s sky-blue eyes plead silently as they look up at you, unblinking. his pink lips start to quiver. it was hard to deny him when he was basically begging. as comical as his dramatics were, you could almost argue how hard it was to resist his unwavering gaze. plus, he was the one that completed the mission singlehandedly.

“fine.” you yielded. “thirty minutes and then we leave.”

he perks up happily.

“great! let’s go!” without wasting a moment, he seizes your hand and practically skips to the entrance.

you recoiled, nearly shrieking, “you pervert! i’m not going in there with you! i’m going to go sightseeing.”

gojo looks at you like you’ve sprouted two heads.

“... then what’s the point of the onsen?” he looked at you incredulously. it deeply troubled you that someone so conniving could look so innocent.

your response is caught in your throat, leaving you flustered and unable to make eye contact. arms remained crossed, you mutter, “you’re insane if you think i’m stepping foot in an onsen with you.”

gojo’s tongue prodded at his cheek, lost in thought, “they do say you have to be insane to be a jujutsu sorcerer." he looks at you all enthused, "don’t be shy now, we’ve already slept together after all.” there’s a teasing lilt in his voice.

“we slept in the same bed– not together! don’t you go spreading that around now,” you jump to cup a hand over his mouth. you feel him grin underneath the palm of your hand.

“same thwing,” gojo’s voice is muffled, but he doesn’t bother taking your soft hand off his face.

“it is not,” you furrow your eyebrows.

“it can be.” he wiggles his eyebrows, a boyish smile growing.

you remove your hand from his face, “have you no shame?”

“not a shred,” he declares cheerfully. “come on, we’re wasting precious time standing here. i can feel the steaming water calling our names.”

“i’ve told you already, gojo. i’m not going to a hot spring naked with you.”

he waves his hand dismissively, “you don’t have to be naked, it’s not unheard of for people to go in with a towel.”

you sigh exasperatedly at his stubborn disposition, “it would still be highly inappropriate.”

“as inappropriate as cuddling with your classmate while he’s naked and unconscious?” he raises an eyebrow suggestively. gojo was once again referring to the previous night’s moment of vulnerability.

you stiffen.

“it was not like that and you know it. for all i know, you were the one cuddling me,” you retorted, crossing your arms with a huff.

gojo raises his hands in defense, “how about we call it even and hop in the hot spring together as a compromise?”

“that doesn’t make any sense.”

“it makes perfect sense. just two classmates relieving the weight of the world off their shoulders.”

you hate that he’s starting to convince you.

the knowing smile creeping on gojo’s face signals that he’s sensed your weakening resolve. he decides to deal the finishing blow.

“this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. with busy lives like ours, who knows the next time we will be able to visit one of the world’s best hot springs?” he gestures dramatically. reluctantly, you start to give into his words.

“fine. but if i see you indecent, i will kill you.” you point a finger threateningly at gojo.

he simply chuckles, “kinky.”

operation satoru x [name]!!!!

gojosatowu attachment: 1 image

shoko.ieiri what the actual hell gojo. i did not need to see a picture of you with nothing but a towel on. ts is disgusting.

getosugu where is [name]? i thought you guys were returning from your mission today.

gojosatowu heh the two of us are going to take a little dip in kyushu’s world famous onsens haha :3

shoko.ieiri WHAT

getosugu you?? [name]?? onsen?? together?? gojo satoru explain hello?

shoko.ieiri where is [name] you dirty pervert i swear i’ll murder you if you pull any dirty tricks answer now

gojosatowu gotta go! ive been dreaming of this day ><

shoko.ieiri don’t you go ignoring us!!

you’re already settled in the hot spring by the time gojo arrives. with a snug towel secured tightly around your body, you are submerged underwater from the chest down. the steam curls lazily into the air, casting a dreamlike haze around you.

“for someone that was excited about the onsen, you came awfully late,” you quipped at the snow-haired boy. his signature glasses are absent, allowing you complete access to his azure eyes. on the other hand, gojo is granted the opportunity of seeing you in all of your natural beauty.

gojo enters the steaming water just a couple of feet away from you, “had to calm myself before seeing you.” he sighs contentedly when the water envelopes him. it was true. his nerves were a lot calmer when he was fighting the grade one curse than the short walk from the changing room to the hot spring.

you can't help but roll your eyes at his obvious flirtation attempt, but you decide to let it slide.

the conversation lapses into silence, an awkward veil settling between you. you were starting to regret ever entertaining gojo’s invitation to the onsen. to escape the discomfort, you divert your gaze to the steam rising from the water's surface and the surrounding rocks. the trees around you start to look interesting as you focus on not letting you eyes stray on gojo’s solid buil—

breaking the silence, gojo interjects, "did ya think i looked cool taking down that curse?"

your eyes shift from the rocks to gojo’s face, “it was quite impressive how you were able to crush the curse with your infinity.” you have heard of stories of gojo’s strength, but seeing it with your very own eyes was truly incredible.

he preens under your praise, a faint blush coloring his cheeks.

"perhaps i deserve a reward," he suggests, his voice taking on a playful tone.

you entertain the idea, your curiosity piqued. "i suppose you do."

a deeper flush tinges gojo's cheeks, and he averts his gaze. without warning, he points at his cheek, anticipating something. you tilt your head, puzzled by his unspoken request. he keeps pointing to his cheek, poking it multiple times.

“…”

“give me a kiss!”

the water ripples with how fast you lean back, “huh? no way.”

undeterred, gojo shakes his head. "fine then. i guess i'll have to kiss you.”

your eyes widen as he leans closer, and you instinctively scoot away, surprised by his boldness. "what? no!"

“eh?! why not? i went total snowagumon on that curse!”

“that’s your job gojo,” you respond matter-of-factly. you’re a bit taken aback by his digimon reference. how dorky.

gojo clicks his tongue, feigning indignation as he looks away. “hmph. can’t even get appreciation for keeping the world in balance.”

you let out a resigned sigh, realizing he's being dramatic again. it almost feels like dealing with a child. but you suppose you’ll play right into his hands this time– and this time only. he has worked hard on this mission, taking on all the work while you watch idly from the sidelines.

hesitantly, you inch closer towards his frame. the distance closes as you lean towards his face. it was only a split second, but your lips placed a chaste kiss on his cheek.

you watch what once was a pink blush blossomed into something deeper. gojo sits up a little straighter and you notice how the corner of his lips are slightly upward.

“gojo, are you oka–”

“satoru. call me satoru,” he interjected, sounding breathless, his eyes locking on yours.

you look at him, uncertain. “isn’t that a bit too informal? we’ve only known each other for a couple of months.”

“if it was up to me, we’d be married by now,” satoru closes his eyes nonchalantly, sinking deeply into the water until half of his face is under. he blows a series of bubbles. he really was a child.

your laughter rings out melodiously as you throw your head back, finding his remark utterly amusing. “you’re actually ridiculous.”

satoru watches you with a soft smile, his heart feeling lighter. it was criminal how cute you were. if this was his reward for exorcizing a measly grade one curse, he was willing to wipe out all special grades on the earth just to receive your praise again. maybe next time you'll even kiss him on the lips (he'll die a happy man if that happens).

"i am, aren't i?" he muses, basking in the joy of the moment.

extra notes. i lowk hate this but due to popular demand i had to write it. ps i dont even know anything abt digimon i js know gojo likes it gn (forgive me if my digimon reference was totally wrong)

#kt.writes.·:*¨༺#gojo then goes to ask you if he was a good cuddler #you dont answer the question and he's pouty all the way back to tokyo #gojo x reader #gojou satoru x reader #gojo satoru x y/n #gojo satoru x you #gojo satoru x reader #gojou satoru x you #gojo fluff #jjk fluff #jujutsu kaisen fluff #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #gojou x reader #remember spring days!au

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