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redactedgender · 2 months

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songs i associate with redacted audio characters - speaker & listener edition

oh yeah baby, we back for round two

im not gonna include a singing voice claim for everyone this time around, but some of these might have them in there. also, im only doing three speaker characters this time around because im also including three listener characters. but, i will include four songs for the listener characters. just for funsies.

!! CW FOR SUI/ MENT !!

geordi

hate myself - dodie

; my poor sweet geordi. my little man. this song is far too relatable enough as is, but i have a feeling our resident tetris boy would relate very much to this song. specifically the chorus—“when you go quiet i hate myself” is almost literally about how geordi felt when he was first getting used to cutie’s silence. i can imagine how vulnerable it was for him. he’s getting better tho! which is exactly what i wanted!

voodoo doll - 5sos

; so a bit of a weirder pull for him, i like the idea that in the days after meeting and getting cutie’s number, his thoughts were just plagued with images of them in his mind. do i think they put them into his head? no, but this was early cutie, so it could have been possible. but i like the idea of one of geordi’s thoughts just going all conspiracy over why he kept thinking abt them.

wish me luck - wallows

; another sad one for our tetris boy, and this might even be sadder than the dodie song. i love wallows, theyre probably in my top fave artists, and all their songs are sooo good. this song just screams geordi to me. the genius lyric website says that this song is about “the narrator [is] asking for support and validation from a loved one during times of struggle and self-doubt, whilst talking alot about encouraging self-awareness and speaking out about inner conflicts and problems”, which. i mean. yeah, thats geordi and cutie alright! i imagined this when they were slowly starting to talk to each other again but were still really nervous about what the other would say.

━━

sam

leaving lonesome flats - dierks bentley

; so this song is. alright so its from the second trolls movie. BUT HEAR ME OUT OK. this is my sam singing voice claim and i think its damn near perfect. i would have done bentley's song “what was i thinking?” instead but i think the trolls song fits better. something about running and coming back, etc etc. listen, this song is just really good, and i think it makes sense for sam. that’s the only explanation i can give here dhsjdhjd

she keeps me up - nickleback

; i was not a fan of nickleback for a while, and now im kinda vibing with some of their songs, but this has such big sam and darlin' energy to me. like, look, darlin' is canonically hot as fuck (as confirmed by porter), and i really just think this song fits really well with their dynamic.

believe me - james and the shame

; so we're all in agreement that sam definitely has some kind of religious trauma (most likely catholic/christian) right? anyways, i only recently got into gmm last year, and when i heard this song i was like “there’s no shot that’s rhett from gmm”. knowing that rhett writes this from the perspective of someone healing from a religious past that was harmful was really empowering, and i think that it fits sam really well.

━━

blake

absinthe - idkhow

; this song is just cult leader energy. i know he isnt a cult leader really, but like. i mean. sometimes i think closeknit might see blake as some kind of deity or god to worship. but i can imagine blake lowkey liking having that kind of power for one reason or another.

how i’d kill - cowboy malfoy

; this to me suits blake because of the tone shift in the song. where it goes from slow and almost eerie to a bossa nova jazz type swing to it. to me, it reflects how blake is really like: the way he was around sunshine vs bestie, like in his “two sides to a yandere” audio.

if i killed someone for you - alec benjamin

; uh. well. i had this song on the playlist before the “for you” audio. and then the audio happened. so. blake-core i guess??

━━

darlin'

vampire - olivia rodrigo

; this is such an obvious fucking song to put for them but also i do not care it still fits. this is about quinn, obviously, and i think it especially hits hard after listening to their second vid with sam and how they mentioned finding another vamp that quinn had slept with. like, was this another manipulated vamp? this song just hits differently when you think about darlin'. and also, even if it’s overplayed, the song slaps.

paul revere - noah kahan

; there are definitely other noah kahan songs on my tank playlist, but this one is just such a good depiction of who they are. them coming back to dahlia, people recognizing them but them saying they’re not from dahlia, how dahlia doesn’t feel like home, like—something about that just really hits me in a way that i love.

howlin’ for you - the black keys

; this is my “darlin's go-to karaoke song” song. imagine them kinda drunk, feeling themself and having fun, singing this in front of their pack, and especially in front of sam. like it’s such a good song for them.

best friends - grandson

; this is here because in my little universe, darlin', david & asher were in a band as teens, and they covered this song. but also, this is such a teen!tank song. this was probably playing while they beat up tires in an abandoned parking lot. like i imagine david wasn’t as much a rule breaker as asher, milo, amanda, christian, & tank were, but you gotta admit their friend group were probably hellions in their own right.

━━

honey

disco man - remi wolf

; this is a good song that fits honey in my eyes. it’s sort of like about guy from honey’s perspective from earlier in their friendship/living situation. learning that the guy who won’t stop flirting with you with the cute smile is a creative writing major probably made honey regret crushing on him asjkgfhjks.

lego ring - faye webster & lil yachty

; ok this actually is inspired by oh, baby, baby by lovelylonerliterature because that is one of the best guy/honey fics i’ve read in a while, but i think honey learning to be softer and be a bit silly with it is so wonderful. also, i like the idea that guy would joke propose with something silly like a bread tie ring or a lego ring but honey would fully take it as a promise for the future and just break guy. what can i say, i like making our pizza boy flustered. and so do they.

“listen to your heart.” “no.” - cheekface

; this is just based on vibes. guy sings most of the song, honey only sings the “no” lines. i’m a genius.

soft bitch - rio romeo

; awww, honey you sap you! no but seriously, i imagine that honey often thinks about how much guy has changed them for the better. and they haaaaate it. y'know that one tiktok audio where someone’s like "he makes me smile—OH WHAT THE FUCK"? that was honey when they realized they had a crush on guy. and this song kind of embodies that too; honey isn't used to being sweet, but being with guy has made them into a sappy person, which they never thought they would be, and how much they actually enjoy it.

━━

freelancer

just existing - daysormay

; so not only is this my favorite song at the moment, this is also my freelancer theme song basically. the lyrics "it always took too long to learn how to slow down / chasing shortcuts and serotonin touchdowns" and "maybe i lost drive / i'm searching every day for relief / and chasing a break that i don't really need" feels like our resident (and chronic) overworking deviant. this also works when you think about freelancer singing this and each of the verses matching with one of the D.A.M.N. crew boys.

my body - young the giant

; a song about feeling the need to overwork yourself to get better at something because you have a fear of failure and falling behind, in my freelancer playlist? how ridiculous! /j no but in all seriousness this song is a perfect depiction of their need to keep pushing, keep working, to be perfect. i think even when they know they’re good at something, they have to be better. they need to be better to prove themself.

empty bed - cavetown

; so this is a bit more of a depressing and sad song for freelancer, but one i think still makes sense. this reminds me of early s3!freelancer, still healing from the inversion and terrified of everyone they love going away. how they grew up, how they hide their pain as best they can so they don’t bother anyone with their problems, but how they dont want their friends to deal with that kind of pain. how they don't want the D.A.M.N. crew to be in pain, but was so hesitant to let the others know their own pain.

babyface - artio

; so i found out abt artio recently, and when i looked them up on tiktok and saw the lead singer, rae, i immediately said “oh, that's crow!” (for those who dont know, crow is the name of my freelancer-sona). this is very specifically for my freelancer-sona, but i think it stills works for canon!freelancer. how their people pleaser tendencies can make them so quick to change themself for others but how they’ve slowly grown to be more confident in themself.

━━━━

this took. far too long hdsjhd

i am still considering sharing my spotify link on here, so if you want to see which of the redacted audio character playlists are on the app, pls let me know!

#redacted audio #dog.txt #geordi #sam collins #blake #darlin #honey #freelancer #redacted headcanons

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prpfs · 6 months

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🍙 「 my little rp ad !! 」 🍙

🍘 「 about me !! 」 🍘 . . . ⇢ 26 years old, 21+ partners preferred for smut themed things . . . ⇢ i strictly write on discord and make servers to talk in . . . ⇢ don't mind somewhere between rapid fire replies, or once a week replies. super chill vibes. . . . ⇢ probably talk ooc quite a bit too between writing and replies. i like making friends with people i write with !!

do you like:

demons and angels ??

trans characters ??

oc x oc or oc x cc rps ??

smut and nsfw are welcomed & encouraged !! ( i don't care what the smut to writing ratio is, that's up to you !! )

irl face claims !! ( i use them, you don't have to !! )

then i'm the person for you !!

the muse i'm interested in writing this time around an trans masc angel coming down to earth and trying to blend in and learn about the average human life to have a better understanding of how they live and why they do the things they do !! they don't really have any experience with humans and are having a hard time blending in, so this plot can go a few different ways !! im down for it to be pretty dark and go with toxic relationships, stalking, gaslighting, dubcon, so on so forth. - your oc or cc can notice that they act a little weird and try to learn more about them through stalking them, trying to see what they do in a day and try and figure out what kind of person they are - maybe your oc or cc is a demon ?? notices that there's an angel around and tries to manipulate them into a relationship, maybe hook up with them, make them feel like they need them ?? very bad toxic thing for the angel. i'm down for any plots you might think up too, i don't have a lot of limits and am down to pretty much do anything with this plot !! i am okay with you playing a canon character from any series that can tie into this, or your own oc !!

like if you're interested and op will get back to you

#21+ rp #discord rp #oc rp #ocxoc rp #oc roleplay #original rp #fandomless rp #dead dove

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sparklyslug · 6 months

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20 Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by @aidaronan and @softbrah thank yewwwwwww!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

50!!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

405,752

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Right now it's all Stranger Things, all the time baby. But you never know when the madness might strike for something new. Or re-strike for something I thought I was done with haha.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

In Focus (Check Please) Up the Punks (Stranger Things) we're gonna fight til we do it right (Check Please) If you want him, come and claim him (Stranger Things) t'hy'la (Stranger Things)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I'm usually really good about it for the first day or so after a fic has posted, and then I kind of.... fall off with it usually. I read all comments! I appreciate all comments! Usually what happens is I see the email notif on my phone, mentally go "ah I will craft a perfectly thoughtful and appreciative and stirring response to this later when I have time to do it justice!" and then I do not do that.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

The one that comes to mind is a fic I wrote for the Hobbit, hands too small to hold it, which is an AU where everyone lives but Bilbo still has the ring and the events of LOTR are still barreling towards them.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Let Us Dwell in Fair Ithilien and There Make a Garden with @greenlikethesea is ONE BIG MASSIVE HAPPY ENDING (after 10+years of tragic angsty pining but w/e). I also wrote a little happy family ever after Garak/Bashir for Star Trek DS9, between the noise.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

noooo it's never happened! If I'm getting hate it's behind my back ahaha who knows what goes down in y'alls discords, that’s none of my business! Im a Leo and I work in marketing, so I am not terribly tortured by that kind of thing ahahaha

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

SURE DO! I don't know what "what kind" means. The smut kind. I've done closed door fade to black, I've done some explicit stuff, I try to give you range baby.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I LOVE A CROSSOVER! Star Trek/Stranger Things is pretty crazy. My current project is Stranger Things/You've Got Mail put in a blender with Supernatural, so that's decently zany too.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I thought Quorum had been translated into Chinese, but I can't find any evidence of it, so might be all in my head ahaha.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I love to collaborate with folks! When the creative chemistry is right it's RIGHT, and it's so fun to ping-pong ideas and paragraphs back and forth. I co-wrote Check Please fics with @softbrah, have written a universe of Stranger Things fic with @greenlikethesea, and it's all been a blast. Me and @aidaronan are cooking up some ideas, if the two of us can ever stop signing up for bangs and things long enough to get to em.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Well of course I will say Steddie right now because I've been living here for over a year and a half. It truly does have just the most delicious dynamic, however the setup and wherever you take their characterizations.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I don't know if I'll ever finish my Vampire Eddie immediately post-canon fic, I didn't have much direction with it, just Vibes.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I like to think I'm good with atmospheric sensory details, it's something I really care about when writing at least. I definitely enjoy dialogue, too.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Action scenes are hard, and I struggle with nailing (heh) the physicality of sex scenes. My haters in their discords are welcome to chime in here 😂😂

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I have no thoughts in particular. If it works in the fic and you've made sure your translation is right if you're not fluent in that language, hell yeah.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Lord of the Rings. You will never see this fic.

N E V E R.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

IT IS REALLY HARD TO CHOSE AMONGST MY CHILDREN. I put a lot of my heart into I was open to pain and crossed by the rain (Wayne Munson my beloved) and I'm really proud of what I did with that one. I truly wrote Can't We Be Seventeen knowing it was really just for me, to scratch one of those desperate writing itches after an intense period of fixating on the Heathers musical soundtrack, and I really like that fic too.

Tagging @occasionaloverboy@greenlikethesea @thefreakandthehair @henrystars @capriciouslyterminal

#my fic

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sammyloomis · 2 years

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omg which ud and the quarry characters do you think would be friends.... im rotating all these characters in my mind rn

I ALSO FORGOT TO REPLY TO THIS ONE OOP

okay so off the bat, i think emma and jess would be frenemies, as in they are Friends but also Rivals because while emma is an influencer, i feel like jess already has a pretty big insta following because.... well because, i mean shes jessica and theyre constantly playfully digging at each other and doing collabs n shit

next i think ashley and abi, tho no ones surprised there, i think they both take creative writing and art classes, but ashley just does art for fun and abi does writing for fun so they both kinda just vibe. i dont think abi would hang out with chris n josh tho, and ashley wouldnt particularly wanna hang out with nick so their friendship is classic classmate vibes

HOWEVER if we wanna go canon time frame then all the ud kids would be in their mid 20s (ie ashley would be 25, chris 26, etc etc) so in the case none of them would be Friends i think, but the quarry kids would know Of the blackwoods incident and probably actually look into it more and not laugh off the claims that some monsters were running round the woods at the time

#ask #anonymous #the quarry #until dawn #honestly i havent put Too much thought into this fghj

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kiwikipedia · 2 years

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would love to hear your thoughts on the other tcw or whichever voices 👀

also have to agree that the did cin dirty in the show, i think they used dbb actually ajsbhdbssj

ok ok ok ok

so Cin's actually voiced by Robin Atkin Downes, who actually is pretty close to Nick Gillard's actual voice and accent: See here [Downes in TCW] vs [Gillard in RotS Interview]

Now before, I mentioned like half a year ago that i personally like the voice for the Yellow Kyber in Galaxy's Edge's holocron see [here]— but apparently, this guy has a name and its Kolloma Ree and he's my son now, thanks.

ANYWAYS!!

Keeping with my trend of redesigning Cin Drallig, my first pick for a new voice for him would be Tony Leung because a.) it fits the redesign (because thats him!! or my attempts at baseing it off of him) and b.) well, it fits. The tone and the vibes are just the best.

I think the mid-low register range that Tony Leung has works best, so around that range for any other voice actors but I cant think of any more off the top of my head right now. Perhaps Ryōtarō Okiayu or Ray Chase who both voice Vlad III in Fate/Apocrypha and Grand Order (And Extella for Okiayu? I think)

I have so many words about using fucking James Arnold Taylor for fucking Plo Koon though. Beppi asked me about it before and i just AAAAAAAAA

I hate it. So much. I understand why they did it, but In my opinion, if you're going to have an important reoccouring character like Plo Koon dont use a repeat voice actor with a voice modifier and a slightly lower pitch.

I have a lot of options that I mentioned before but essentially my two top picks are literally any voice that Jouji Nakata has done though im very partial to his (English) Kotomine Kirei and King Hassan voices, and Kunihio Yasui's Li Shuwen Lancer. Crispen Freeman's English Dub of King Hassan and Alucard (who is also played by Nakata lmao) are also very good options. You can find more on my thoughts for Plo Koon [Here]

obviously, Temura Morrison is forever the voice of the Clones, mhm!

I did actually like Phil Lamar as Kit Fisto though! I thought it was very well done, I wouldn't change much there. Loved the accent fhdjhfjd

I do think its bullshit that Tholme's dead in TCW so I hand him Bill Butts' work as Kyosuke Hori

DBB is fine for Saesee Tiin, he did a good job there, but I still really adore TC Carson's work as him from the 03 series more. You really cannot beat the "It's time to get a new one" from that series.

For most of the TCW i actually dont mind, but also since so many of my favorites are not canon / dont speak at all its a bit tough. Like Tholme here are some takes for some of my others:

The Grand Inquisitor (Baby ver): Lucien Dodge as Lord El Melloi II (Obvs, Jason Isaacs did a fantastic job but Dodge sounds a bit younger than Isaacs and we do know that TCW was a good few years before Rebels. I very much do not like the Kenobi version though fhjdhfjd)

Sha Koon (English ver): Genevieve Simmons as Bort (I did her and Bultar Swan's JP Dub voices [here] same with Bene's !!)

Voolvif Monn: Kaji Tang as Kouen Ren

Oppo Rancisis: I think his voice was pretty OK in the 03 series, but I do like Motomu Kiyokawa's Walter C. Dornez from the original Hellsing Ultimate Sub

AND I THINK FILONI SHOULD HAND OVER EMBO TO SOMEONE ELSE THO HFJDHFJDHFD NO MORE FELONY COWBOY IN MY HOUSE

I also have OC voice claims/HCs if you're intersested lmao

#plo koon #cin drallig #Honey-Beesou tag #penguinkiwi headcanons #Voice claims #voice headcanons #star wars #kit fisto #saesee tiin #voolvif monn #sha koon #the grand inquisitor #tholme #oppo rancisis #penguinkiwi answers stuff #long post

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cap-ironman · 2 years

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Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes Month: Cap-IM Universe Medley Fest

You can create as many works as you like across as many different mediums as you like! This is a no-pressure, low commitment challenge to encourage you to try something new, stretch your creativity, and check out other versions of Steve and Tony.

For our full fest guidelines, including our annual schedule, please click here.

Coming up, Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes!

EMH is a cartoon series that aired from 2010 to 2013. It retells some major storylines from the Earth 616 comics continuity — from the Avengers team finding Steve in the ice to a Secret Invasion-style skrull infiltration to Red Zone and Operation Galactic Storm. If you're looking for a crash course in the Avengers and their adventures, this two-season show is a great way to go!

Some Stevetony highlights include:

Steve and Tony sparring

Team-as-a-family vibes

Purple Man forcing a mind-controlled Tony to fight Steve

Tony yelling at J. Jonah Jameson to stop publishing terrible stories about Steve after the Skrull Invasion

The much-gif'd roof-top conversation

Tony making a light shield for Steve to use

the iconic size difference between Steve and Tony

There's plenty to work with in this canon, but it's not intimidating at all to start creating for — you can watch a couple of episodes and dive right in! The sincerity of the show, great array of characters, relationship between Steve and Tony, plus its colourful episodes, make it a fantastic way to get inspiration for another take on our favourite heroes. Whether it's your first time watching or EMH is an all-time favourite, we'd love to see what you create this month…

WAYS TO PARTICIPATE

If you would like to earn a badge for Earth's Mightiest Heroes Month, you must submit your work before the end of 15th October.

UNIVERSE MEDLEY:

If you post a Stevetony work set in Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes in the next month, congratulations! Share it on a Cap-IM community platform, add it to the AO3 Collection and BAM! You've participated!

UNIVERSE THEMED PROMPT FEST:

Got inspiration? Fill out our prompt form to inspire creators! You can also come along and fill a prompt for the universe of the month, or two, or three… the sky's the limit! We have plenty of past prompt lists to browse through.

Don't forget to share your work with us, and post in the AO3 Collection!

RUN A MINI-CHALLENGE:

Love a universe with all your heart and have an idea for a flash challenge? Let's do it! Get in touch with the mods to claim a month (or contact us on discord in the #universe-medley-challenges channel) and you can run it on cap_ironman's community platforms! The cap-im mods can also support you in setting up and/or modding the mini-challenge.

CLAIM YOUR PRIZE!

This is a fest encouraging fun exploration in various Marvel universes, and we'd like to invite you to share your milestones with us!

Badge Milestones

I created a work this month!

I created my very first work in this universe!

I created something for each of the 12 months!

I participated for the second year!

I hosted a mini-challenge!

I submitted a amnesty fanwork!

If you do any of the above this month, let us know by filling out our Prize Claims form.

If you have any questions or comments, read our event guidelines, email us at [email protected], or get in touch on tumblr, on contact us on discord in the #universe-medley-challenges channel.

#stevetony #stony #superhusbands #universe medley fest #capimchallenges

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worstloki · 3 years

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seeing you rb imposterogers is so bizarre. you're the two blogs i got tumblr to follow, and i've followed you both for years. i've seen them go through three urls. but i have always somehow imagined you two as polar opposites. very different opinions on almost everything. two magnetic points, never to meet. but apparently you're not and it's very strange, you've shaken my worldview

people can have different opinions and still vibe. interesting metaphor, and I can assure you that successfully shaking your worldview was exactly what my calendar said was scheduled for today.

#I don't agree with some of their stuff and that's fine but I do agree with other stuff ya know?#pretty sure i've seen them in the anti tag but if i have nothing to add i just move on as one does #everyone is allowed to enjoy their little characters and ships however they want #plus Endgame may have actually managed to do everyone dirty so there's that at least #steve and bucky 🤝 being done dirty in endgame 🤝 loki and thor #also! scottluis my dude!#i don't ship much but rhodeytony and scottluis are underrated and i like to support them too #also wowki is funny #where else am i going to get my updates on the skrull steve theory?#it's right next to my beloved AU where the Steve that took the stones was Loki and the person on the bench ends up being regular Steve late #that way the show would cover Loki returning the stones and the TVA trying to get him to help get back the rogue 2012 Loki or something #and it means Steve doesn't ditch Bucky in the future for Peggy who literally told him to move on and live his life too :)#also! if they *know* someone is messing with the multiverse then that sets up Strange for MoM too! and Wanda gets to be a bonus in there!!#anyway #im just vibing #i don't need people to agree with my takes on loki I just don't go around trashing on those of others unless they're claiming they're right #and they're ignoring canon while doing so #as long as someone doesn't have a problem with me specifically I don't mind having conflicting opinions that's all cool im just having fun #a balanced diet of magic knife boy content is important 😤#they're also not completely devoid of humour 👉👈#NoLokiOnlyAnon #NLOA #didn't realize this was something noteworthy but here we are XD #i assure you this is no grand momentous occasion

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spoopy-fish-writes · 2 years

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Hi Spoops!!! First time requesting art from you so im super shy actually 😳😳 Ok ok lissen, can you...can you do something for my boy napo. For pride. I definitely haven't explored his character in such regards enough and I was hoping you can think of something that would suit him, sexuality, gender identity, anything. I've only ever thought about him as a bi and im super curious to see your opinion along with a doodle of whatever inspires you on this topic 👉👈 THANKS IN ADVANCE I CANT WAIT

THE SLEEPY BISEXUAL KING!! Hope this turned out well enough for you <3

You're always free to come in and request whatever, I love to shove things from my mind onto paper. Technically my phone but yano 😌

I have so much to say about him. So he's definitely bi, that's basically canon but I think he'd be more male/ non fem leaning? Still a bi disaster all of the time tho and probably polyam too? He's just too tired all of the time to care much about gender and monogamy, he vibes and it works for him awvrjwhrjs

Same with his gender too? Like, I personally think he'd be genderfaun. I initially thought genderfluid before realising that, no, he wouldn't really ever feel fem aligned, just varying forms of male and nothing at all. Like, if you asked him, he'd say he felt male but in a different way to yesterday. Still male but different. Like if you put the gender upside down and then put it right way up again. Same thing but different

Click for HQ. Do not repost or claim. Only reblog 💜

@edensrose @a-chaotic-dumbass @shad0cat @rurifangirl @kaeyas-beloved @kaeyas-beloved @simplycuriouscourage @namine-somebodies-nobody @101waystobeadumbass @shameshomalo @ikesenfangirl @mellohyi @your-local-ikemen-simp @wtf-0w0 @themysticalbeing @fangirlinindia @skatercashew @character-design-who @ikesimp100 also @ndoandou

#ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp hc #ikevamp headcanon #ikevamp hcs #ikevamp headcanons #ikemen vampire hc #ikemen vampire headcanons #ikemen vampire headcanon #ikevamp fanart #ikemen vampire fanart #ikevamp napoleon

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comfyswitcherblanketfort · 3 years

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Okay so here's a lil' prompt for you

How about some rough foreplay between a jealous Geralt and Jaskier being all "fucking finally you dumb sack of potatoes"

my darling nonie, thank you for your patience, im sorry it took me so long to get my writing vibes back, but we're finally back in business!

Warnings: horny, lil bitey/manhandle-y but nothing past netflix canon consistent roughness, grumpy dumb geralt and jaskier doing his best to get him to use words, lol and swearing.

_________________

“You don’t scare me, Geralt,” Jaskier huffed, leaning back against the footboard of Geralt’s bed. They’d been sitting on the floor by the fire in his room for hours now, enjoying the warmth and reveling in the rest that the last few weeks of winter provided. Geralt, of course, had been getting a little antsy, ready to pack up and go, but also reluctant. So of course he had expressed this by being a bit of an asshole.

“I don’t want you scared…” he grumbled, picking at a hangnail and feeling a little bit like an idiot. He couldn’t exactly tell Jaskier how he wanted him, and that was probably the most frustrating thing on his mind that night. No matter what, he was going to keep the bard around as long as Jaskier would suffer his foul moods and emotional illiteracy. But it hurt to have him so close but so far out of his reach and he was constantly angry with himself for continuing to want.

“Then how do you want me? Hm?” Jaskier asked, flailing his arms about, expressing nearly as much frustration as Geralt felt, “Are you looking for a fight? Someone to hold your hand? Would you like me tied up instead? For fucks sake Geralt just fucking spit it out.”

Clenching his jaw, Geralt growled as he did his best not to picture his best friend tied up and desperate for him, “No.”

Jaskier got up on his knees and shuffled a little closer to where Geralt was leaning against the opposite wall, looking something like a praying monk, “Mellitelle, Geralt. I don’t think I can get it through your thick skull that I will absolutely not run and hide or abandon you if you tell me what you’re thinking. Even if it’s uncomfortable. Especially if it’s uncomfortable.”

As Geralt tried to find a way out of the corner he’d backed himself into with words satisfactory to the bard, he made the mistake of glancing at him. Jaskier looked like a romanticized painting in the firelight. His hair glowed in an orangish warmth and the low golden tones made his blue eyes sparkle even in the fading light. It really wasn’t fair. How the hell was Geralt supposed to say anything other than what he truly wanted?

Fear. Fear of rejection, or worse, of Jaskier, thinking it was some ridiculous joke and laughing him off like that couldn’t possibly be what has Geralt so worked up. That was plenty to keep Geralt from telling him exactly what he felt and thought. So he stayed quiet.

“You absolute-” Jaskier grumbled, almost to himself before starting in on a lecture, with animated hands and everything, “Here I am, quite literally on my fucking knees asking you to tell me what’s bothering you - which appears to be about me, so I think I have a right to know- and you just fucking look at me. What the ever-loving fuck makes you think I’m shivering my ass off in this haunted keep for, not getting laid in a warm castle - or even by your brothers down the hall- for anything other than a pathetic devotion to your grumpy ass?! Are you blind? Are you really so self-loathing? Do you just not care? For fuck’s sake, Geralt. Tell me so I can make it better because I’m not allowed to make the leap here! I’m not a sorceress! I can’t just probe your mind to-”

Geralt lunged, not a single thought in his head, just a frustrated need to tell Jaskier what he meant and an inability to do so with words. ‘The first leap..’ Fuck he hoped he’d read that right. If years traveling with the bard and constantly unraveling his riddles was anything to go by, he absolutely had. But the chance of rejection still hung in the air and pushed him near the edge of tears.

His hands gripped the front of Jaskier’s chemise and yanked him closer, so he was almost hovering over Geralt, and he recklessly mashed their lips together. Jaskier had to brace himself on Geralt’s shoulder and for a moment the witcher was terrified he was being pushed away. He was about to let go and quite literally tuck tail and run when Jaskier’s other hand laced its way through the hair at the back of his neck and tilted his head for him, deepening their kiss and adding a little intent to the passion.

Geralt groaned and hauled Jaskier up with him as he clambered to his knees, only breaking the kiss out of necessity but sealing their lips together whenever he could. He’d been given permission. After years of wanting and wishing and guilt-ridden fantasy, he could finally taste what he’d been longing for and self-restraint was rather hard to come by. So he didn't bother.

He crushed Jaskier to himself, needing to know this was real, not just one of his many dreams. In turn, Jaskier hooked one leg around his hips, an awkward position for the two of them standing on their knees on the cold stone floor, but it spurred Geralt on nonetheless. He lifted one knee so the bard was practically sitting on his thigh and rose to stand, kissing and sucking dark red marks on the bard’s jawline and neck. Without a second thought, he used his momentum to slam Jaskier against the wall, trapping him against his own body. Exactly where he wanted him. The bard let loose a soft grunt on impact but dug his nails into Geralt’s back regardless.

“Sorry,” Geralt murmured before leaving a set of angry red crescent teeth marks on the bard’s exposed collar bone.

“None of that, I’m in heaven,” Jaskier gasped, rolling his hips against Geralt as he rested his head back against the wall, “Fucking finally.”

Geralt made a confused grunt, not entirely too concerned with the conversation as he worked on untucking Jaskier’s shirt, clumsily and forcefully yanking it over his head.

“You thick sack of potatoes, I’ve been flirting with you for years. Fucking claim me already,” Jaskier gasped, gripping Geralt’s hair and pulling him back to him in a punishing kiss.

If there’s one thing Geralt was good at, it was following orders. And he followed this particular order with hitherto unmatched enthusiasm, in Jaskier’s words, “going above and beyond the call of duty.”

#geraskier #geraskier getting together #the witcher #the witcher fic #the witcher fanfic #the witcher geraskier #geraskier fic #geralt of rivia #jaskier #jullian alfred pankratz #comfy answers #jask likes it rough #i just see it in his feral blue eyes okay #today at least #tomorrow he might be a pillow princess lol

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sothischickshe · 2 years

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🥵➕👶

hey anon, ty!

🥵 a fic which made you thirsty

murder on my mind by @riveramour

This fic (written for the author's OWN prompt, Op your MIND, of: 'Beth gets off on Rio murdering people') is super sexy AND super sweet, which can be a hard line to walk anyway but especially given the subject matter (which nb does include mentions of attempted rape). It's about the violence kink, but equally it's about the vulnerability and honesty & iyam has a fabulous sequel hook right there at the end 👀👀👀

➕ a fic which needs a follow up

OK I hesitate to say NEEDS (as a nonprolific writer lol) but another one I'd love a sequel to is:

Working on things by odenkirk

This fic is magic!! Dean gets to have a good time & yet I love it?! What??? 🤯

It's set in a ~divergent s3 where Beth & Dean are indeed working on things rather more seriously, with the dean/rio vibes (correctly!) off the charts ft. stoned mildly confused rio ending up in a phone sex threesome with said ~couple.

So iconic!!! Author come back?! 👀👀👀

👶 your most recent bookmark

After dark by SILLYWOMAN

I've really been enjoying this fic, and both the beth & rio povs within. It's set in ~late s4 & thus far has been pretty much canon compliant, I think my fave part was Beth being confused at rio claiming he'd told her she didn't need nick when he returned her stuff cos uh no he didn't 😂👌🙇🏼‍♀️ there's an author's note saying it's gonna get divergey which, as someone who thought s4 had a LOT of brio potential that was hindered/made outright confusing by the pacing & unclear motivations, im excited for 🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿👀👀👀

fic rec?

#What's this? Sentences?! I'm amazed 🤷🏼‍♀️#Nbc good girls #TV #Fanfiction #Fanfic #Fandom #gg fic recs #I'm looking fwd to rewatching s4 all together cos maybe it'll make more sense but um UM.#O if the authors are on tumblr but not tagged pls do tag 🌳👀🙇🏼‍♀️

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izusun · 3 years

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ALRIGHT I'M THE ANON WHO SENT THE STRIPPER AU SO IM DUMPING ANOTHER AU THAT I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH ONTO YOU (don't ask where it came from lmao)

Basically, quirkless Izuku gets a vibe check early in life when he realizes that his mom is really struggling to survive after his father walked out (no I'm not projecting onto him shut up-). Through middle school he slowly comes to the realization that capitalism sucks actually, especially when you are or are related to someone quirkless.

The sludge villain incident happens relatively as normal, only this time after rescuing Katsuki he fucking snaps at the pro heroes on the scene, then goes home without running into All Might. He does a bunch of research on pro hero scandals, losing that hero fanboy mindset as he goes along, but also does research into vigilantism and pre quirk media, discovering an ancient European pre quirk tale about a figure who robbed the rich and gave it back to the poor and needy.

Now he's on the streets as the vigilante "Robin Hood" who robs corrupt heroes and politicians and then uses that money to preventatively stop crime (donating to homeless shelters, giving it to various community centers for addict recovery programs, etc; he'd also stop any crime he happened to come by on the way to and from heists). He may or may not collect various other teenagers in his band of Merry Men all while Izuku dodges around telling Katsuki what he actually does all day (yes Kaachan's the Maid Marian stand in fight me).

TLDR; Quirkless Izuku becomes the vigilante "Robin Hood" thanks for coming to my TED talk-

- Goblin anon (I'm claiming it now, it's mine)

HI GOBLIN ANON!!! your au dumps in my ask box are always welcomed and loved!! sorry for the late reply hnsnsns, my lectures just ended

quirkless + vigilante midoriya who gave up on the hero system IS my fave trope, i’m not even joking. and this au??? this is just godtier!!

i have a thing for midoriya snapping at the heroes during the sludge villain incident. to set up the mood, i’d like to just unpack that scene for a bit.

ok sure there are many things that probably happened behind the scenes during that incident, such as them calling for more equipped reinforcements to take down the villain, but i think that they should have also done more for bakugou. like at least buy time to ensure he wouldn’t suffocate or, idk, strike a deal with the the sludge villain because their priority shouldn’t have been apprehending him but should have been saving bakugou. so imagine midoriya thinking the same thing i did. the torch he carried for heroes have dwindled over time and this was the breaking point.

imagine him growing up, accepting that sometimes the society just turns its back on you because you’re quirkless. imagine him thinking that there are certain thresholds only the quirked individuals would ever get to cross. imagine him thinking that being a hero really is only for bakugou and not for him. then-

then midoriya sees this powerful and strong individual who he kept looking up to at the hands of the same villain who also almost killed him, choking and panicking because the heroes are not doing anything. he thought that heroes only do nothing when you’re quirkless, but apparently they also do nothing to people like bakugou. bakugou who has a perfect quirk and a smart mind and who’s so so young. bakugou who the heroes aren’t even helping.

and midoriya snaps. he snaps because heroes do nothing to everyone. he thought he was the anomaly because of his pinky toe and everything, but no. the hero system is just fucked up. so as he ran towards bakugou and hurled his bag on the eyes of the villain, he thinks the hero system failed us but i will not. and he thinks i will not be a hero because i do not want to be like them. and he thinks i am here.

and so he saves bakugou and the heroes berate him for-? for what? for doing their jobs? he laughs maniacally and goes off. he spills his anger, spills the way it took a puny, quirkless middle school boy to save the day, and people are watching. people are watching the way he is screaming and opening his heart and pouring and pouring everything he never would have said, and the heroes are silent. they are silent as they listened. all of the them were.

people filmed this exchange, posted the videos they took online and then even more people listened to him. and midoriya sees this huge response and support; he sees the way people agreed with him so it helped him push his plans forward.

and so he does many many research and opens up several cases against slimy heroes and billionaires, and boom, he’s japan’s robin hood.

OK BUT we can’t have vigilante midoriya without dadzawa. LOVE ME SOME DADZAWA. and maybe parental tsukauchi because i love these two just trying to help this little vigilante who is too angry at the world who failed him, but never fighting the world back. they care for their little vigilante who shouldn’t be awake at the crack of dawn, busting out villain groups upon villain groups on his own. they care for their little vigilante who is becoming too popular.

so popular that even villains are looking for him. and maybe there would be an altercation between the LoV and midoriya, and who else would save him if not for dadzawa (and tsukauchi)?

also i’d like to imagine that bakugou too was moved by midoriya’s explosion of a speech. he’s taken aback and goes “huh, he’s right.” so he tries bridging their relationship back and midoriya always loved his friend so he accepts AS LONG AS bakugou does not cross him. because even if the hero system failed midoriya, as long as bakugou, who’s willing to change, still wants to become a hero, then there is hope in changing the hero system from the inside. to reshape it to how it should be.

and so bakugou enters UA and is more open (he’s in therapy) to everyone compared to canon (although not as much, still), and almost has a heart attack when aizawa pulled him aside one day, in the middle of the term, and asked if he knew who robin hood is. of course bakugou’s a master liar so he says no but aizawa is squinting his eyes at him.

also imagine: midoriya recruiting shinsou (they’re apparently from the same help group and they met up one night when midoriya saved shinsou from middle school bullies who cornered him and berated him even if he’s already in UA) and bakugou accidentally recruiting hatsume because she saw that someone changed some of his hero gear and she wanted to meet the smart genius who did it (it’s midoriya).

so midoriya’s circle grew from bakugou to now with the addition of aizawa, tsukauchi, hatsume, and shinsou.

(it probably would expand more because midoriya would stumble on this juicy information about the number 02 hero, endeavour but that’s for next time!)

AHHH ok i’m gonna cut it here because it’s getting too long BUT I LOVE LOVE THIS dhaksjwk

THANK YOU SO MUCH, GOBLIN!!!

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damienthepious · 3 years

Text

no lizard this tuesday. have some pre-canon rilla/damien smoochin and discussion of [checks notes] uh death!!! it’s fun!!! im stress’d

No Aching Necessary

[ao3]

Fandom: The Penumbra Podcast

Relationship: Sir Damien/Rilla

Characters: Sir Damien, Rilla

Additional Tags: Second Citadel, Tuesday, Established Relationship, (im POSTING this for LKT but i won't put it in the tag because arum ain't here.), (maybe if i ever pin down a follow up for this feat. the lizard? perhaps.), self-sacrificing idiot vibes, Mild Suicidal Ideation, Pre-Canon, Communication, discussions of uhhhh death

Summary: Sir Damien feels love like self-immolation. Rilla feels a little bit differently about it.

Notes: I've had this idea for a while, because Sir Damien is nothing if not dramatic, and sir "self sacrifice is a knightly virtue!" seemed like the type to say this particular phrase on repeat. Basically just wanted to unpack all that I guess?? anywayyyy no thoughts brain scrampled egg. also this may have a part two someday? maybe? idk. there's potential.

Love, for Sir Damien, feels...

Eternal, and holy, and sacrificial. As in, it sounds of yet another litany in his mind, alongside the song of prayer to Saint Damien, alongside pleas for Tranquility, alongside fear and doubt and fortitude. I love you becomes too big for itself, it transforms, rather quickly, into-

"I would die for you."

Rilla stares at him the first time he says it, furrowing her brow, her dark eyes filled with concern. He kisses her frowning lips, gentle and aching, and when she kisses back her grip is possessive, firm, sturdy, and Damien melts against her as easy as wax beneath the flame.

The second time it bubbles out of him in helpless delight. She rolls her eyes and squeezes his hand almost too hard as she pulls him along to the next booth at the festival, distracting him with games and laughter until the throbbing of his heart eases into something more like joy.

The third time she only says I'll see you tomorrow, Damien, and glares hard at his back as he returns to the Citadel.

The fourth time he presses their bodies together and breathes it against her lips and-

She rolls him onto his back, sinking her teeth into his bottom lip and making him squeak and gasp, and when she pulls back she presses one hand to each of his shoulders, and the fury on her face is nearly thunderous.

"What's that thing you keep calling me, Damien?" she asks, inarguable and stern.

Damien blinks, panting as he stares up at her in confusion and desire and, suddenly, rising worry.

"Wh-what?"

"What is it that you call me? That romantic, poetic little name you have," she repeats, moving one hand from his shoulder to his neck, thumbing at his pulse.

"I…" Damien swallows, feeling her hand against the column of his throat. "M-my- my forever-flower?" he tries, his voice weak and wavering, and Rilla's eyes flash as the hand on his shoulder squeezes.

"If I'm yours," she says, her dark eyes utterly serious, her gaze inescapable, "your flower, then you're mine, Damien."

"Always," Damien breathes, and she blinks for half a heartbeat, apparently not expecting his easy (eager) acquiescence.

She shifts even closer, her voice lowering in both volume and tone. "You're mine," she says again. "And I intend to keep you, for as long as I am physically capable."

"A-ah." Damien's heart thuds, some delicious thrill at the idea of being kept. That she would- that she does want him, that she wants him enough to say things like that-

"Which means," she continues, her palm still warm against his throat as her other hand sinks into his hair, her nails tickling his scalp, "you need to stick around to be mine. I don't wanna hear you say anything like that to me. Understand?"

"But... but it's true, my love. I would die for-"

"You'd better not," she growls - growls, her eyes flashing, and a delicious shiver runs down Damien's spine - and her grip on his hair tightens, carefully angling his face up so that he looks her in the eye. "I want you, I love you, and I don't want anything to do with you dying."

"Rilla..." Damien swallows, looking down and away for a moment before he meets Rilla's eye again, hesitant. "You know, of course... I am a knight, my love, my flower. Each day, each mission is a risk. I take those risks willingly, knowing that I face potential fatality for the sake of my Saint and my Citadel. And, now... for you."

Rilla frowns hard, and then she kisses him harder, her hands firm and inarguable in his hair and on his neck for one long, searing moment before she pulls away again, and some of that righteousness on her face fades, her brow creased with distress.

"There's a difference between understanding the mortality rate of your career and you, apropos of nothing, claiming that you wanna throw your dead body at my feet, Damien. It's not romantic, it's not comforting, and I don't want to hear you say it. Why would you think that I would want to hear you say that? No one is asking you to die for me. I want you. I love you. And I can't fucking love you if you're dead, and especially not if you're dead for no goddamn reason."

"I never said-" Damien pants, his words slipping from his mind like trying to snatch a ribbon from the current of a river. "Not for no reason, it isn't as if-"

"Would you want me to say that?" she says, her voice almost- almost keening, beneath her frustration. "Do you want me to be eager to die for you?"

Damien lifts his hands, gripping Rilla's sides as if to keep her there.

"There is no reason whatsoever for you to even consider-"

"You can't know that for sure. Neither of us can. It isn't just your job that's dangerous Damien, it's the whole damn world. So, what if I do? What if I want to die for you, too? Does that make you feel good about our relationship?"

"I- well, I-"

"Does it make you feel good to think about me dying for you, or does it make you feel terrified?"

Terrified. Needless to say.

Needless, of course; Rilla's glare eases at the look on his face, at the way he freezes beneath her hands like startled prey.

"Exactly," she says, muted and gentle, and then she draws her hand through his hair, her other raising enough to cup his jaw. "I know... I know that being a knight is dangerous. I know because of how many times I've had to put one back together. Even just by how many times I've had to put you back together, even. I know- I know, intellectually, that losing you-"

She pauses, her breath doing something strange, her dark eyes too bright, suddenly.

"Rilla..."

She scowls as he wraps his arms around her middle. "I know it's a possibility. I know it's- likely, even," she says more fiercely. "But that doesn't mean I want to hear you say it, and it doesn't mean I want you to sound so goddamn eager to die. Got it?"

"I'm- I'm not- I don't-"

Eagerness does not come into it. Damien knows, though-

Damien knows what Rilla knows. As she has just quietly, sadly confirmed. The life of a knight is risk, inherent. More accurately, the life of a knight is sacrifice: his own safety in exchange for the protection of the citizens of the Citadel. The same exchange Sir Damien promised, in his heart, so many years ago to his Saint. It is likely, extremely likely, that Sir Damien will die in the service of his Saint and his Citadel.

And Rilla-

Rilla. Kneeling above him, curled down to place her forehead against his own, holding his face in her hands.

He would die for her. His heart aches for her, resounds like a bell in his chest, and he would die for her just as readily as he would die for his Saint, or his Queen. That is what she means to him, her equivalent place in his heart, what she does to him. He-

She bites his collarbone, sharp and sudden, and Damien yelps.

"Rilla!"

"You were thinking it again," she mutters, darkly, and then she kisses that same spot, feather light. "I just- I love you too much to hear you care so little about yourself." She lifts her face towards his, then, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "Please. If you love me-"

"I do. My love for you burns like a wildfire, races like a waterfall, it fills me like-"

"Then you have to look out for yourself too, because I love you. And- and I can't always be there to watch your back and patch you back up. It's important to me that you're not- not trying to destroy yourself to prove a point about how much you-"

"Never," Damien breathes. He holds her a little tighter, then reaches to draw his hand through her hair. "No, that isn't... that isn't what I meant. I acknowledge the- the mortality rate, as you called it, but- but I hope, at least, to die nobly in my purpose. There would be no such end in reckless inattention to my safety. I swear."

Rilla frowns - nearly pouts, perhaps - and then she sighs as she bumps the tip of her nose into his cheek. "Alright. Okay. Thank you for... for listening. I know how- how much you feel, it's just- I can't do that. I can't hear you say that, especially not- not like you're saying it instead of... I just can't. Okay?"

"I understand," Damien says. "I will try to... to find more agreeable - less distressing, rather - ways in which to express my adoration."

Uncertain, whether or not he will be able to banish the thought from his mind, however. Occasionally it blinds him, when he looks at her, the breathlessness of his love, the need to protect and worship and bend himself to her merest desire-

But-

She desires, in no mere way, for him to be safe and whole, and holding her.

It still roils within him like a tempest, like waves and rocks and thunder, love like roaring and electricity.

But for her-

(Tranquility)

Sir Damien kisses her brow, kisses her neck, kisses her nose to make her wrinkle it and laugh.

Rilla loves him: miracle. Rilla loves him, like blankets and safety and hearth. Like sunshine, and laughing wind.

The soldier sings of death, as it walks ever by his side, but home- home will not abide such talk while the soldier rests inside.

He purses his lips. Unpolished, not without potential-

"I guess that's one way to think about it," Rilla murmurs, her cheeks a little dark, and Damien starts with the realization that he spoke aloud.

"Er- ah, well-"

"You really think of me as-" she pauses, bites her lip, then meets his eye again. "As... home?"

Damien exhales, overwhelmed by the strangely shy pleasure on Rilla's face, and then he tips his face up to capture her lips in another kiss.

"I do," he breathes, and then he kisses her again. "My forever-flower, my love... my home. Of course, my home."

"It- I think of you that way too," she whispers, and then she closes her eyes. "That's... why, I think. That's why it's hard for me to hear you say things like that. I know bad things happen, I know that homes- I know that things break. I just... don't like the reminder, I guess. I don't need it. I already learned that lesson too many times, y'know?"

Amaryllis of Exile looks down at him with a hesitant smile, her hand on his cheek scented vaguely of mint and smoke. Damien knows, yes. He knows what she has lost. He kisses her again, gentle and precious.

He loves her, and he knows that she loves him. So brave a love, in fact, that she will hold him and know she may lose him, and she will love him all the more fiercely in response.

#elle's fanfic #the penumbra podcast #second citadel #lizard kissin' tuesday #sir damien #amaryllis of exile #quietly. [a]

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littlx-songbxrd · 3 years

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Hey so I'm pretty sure it was you who told me to listen to a song from The Waitress but I couldn't remember which one so I just listened to a lot of them.

You matter to me is such a good Thomastair song!! It's so sweet and I was low key tearing up. It also kinda makes me think of kitty as well. I think that might have been the one you recommended.

I also really liked I didn't plan it. It's such an Alastair song if I ever heard one and it's honestly so relatable. It's how I would imagine Alastair going off on The Merry Thieves if he could.

Also side note, She used to be mine is the reason I am now sobbing because, short version, autistic childhood trauma, forced to mask, lost that innocent and cheerful version of myself yadda yadda yadda. You get the drill. I mean the pronouns are wrong but still.

Anyways thank you so much for the recommendation!/gen

So ummm I dont think you realize for the past few minutes I've just been staring at my phone grinning

YOU LISTENED TO WAITRESS AHHHHHHHHHHH

OK YES IT WAS ME! ITS ONE OF MY FAVORITE MUSICALS! I RECOMENDED YOU MATTER TO ME AS A THOMASTAIR SONG BUT AHH YOU LISTENED TO ALL OF IT YESSSSSSSSS *tries not to happy cry*

Okok so I can DEFINETLY see You matter to me as a kitty song and thats a whole other side of feels i am NOT ready to talk about rn cause "All of this time I've keeping my mind on the running away, but for the first time I might consider to stay" FOR KIT HERONDALE WILL KILL ME

But like Thomas saying "you matter to me, simple and plain and not much to ask from somebody" after Alastair literally CANONICALLY thinks caring or loving him is something unhealthy will equally be the death of me

I AM SO GLAD WE CAN ALL AGREE I DIDNT PLAN IT IS AN ALASTAIR SONG ABSOLUTELY

I've posted about it before but

"Go ahead, throw your rocks at me, from your little glass house and then take off running, youre no better than me, we've both made mistaked, havent we, I wont undue what Im doing to sit in judgement of what makes us human, I dont claim to be proud, but, my hesd wont be hung in shame"

IS SOMETHING I NEED ALASTAIR TO SAY TO THE MERRY THIEVES IN CANON

SCRATCH THAT

I WANT HIM TO SAY THIS STRAIGHT TO MATHEWS FACE WHEN HE INSULTS HIM AGAIN

He needs a scene like this fae Istg HE NEEDS IT

Also theres a phrase "I needed saving, and a good mistake needed making" that just

Reminds me Alastair was let down by every adult in his life and hes never been allowed to be a kid. To just make mistakes freely. I REALLY HOPE he gets a good scene where he does smth reckless and fun cause hes 19 for godsake let the kid have fun

Anyways

I love that song for him

Also I should have warned you about she used to be mine

First of all Im really sorry to hear that, you truly never deserves to experience any of that. I know my cant change anything, nor help, bit I am truly sorry you had to go through that

Althought, she used to be mine hits equally hard cause jaja ✨I feel like im dissapointing everyone being the person I am ✨ but like its fine I really just feel for the song

Its one of my favorites to belt out

ALSO

Since youre here

......I cant be the only one who really got major secret relationship Tholastair vibes from bad idea

Like I 100% wouldnt want it to happen in canon

HELL NAH THOMAS GO TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM AND HIG HIM PLS

But as a concept

Alastair and Thomas having to go to Paris on their own. Theres all this tension and Thomas tries to talk to him but Alastair just tells him its impossible, theres a huge discussion which and theres a part wbere Alastairs

"You'll regret it"

"Then allow me to figure that out for myself"

Alastair storms off and Thomas is like "shit I made it worse"

But instead of wsiting for Alastair to look back

He goes after him

Enter chorus

"Hearts keep raising lets make mistakes let us say so what and make worse what was already pretty bad"

JUST

Thomastair × bad idea makes me go FERAL

#you know I havent stopped smiling

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bladekindeyewear · 3 years

Text

HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-12-25

I’m not going to spend time BLOGGING an upd8 on Christmas morning!

...yes I am who the fuck am I kidding. (Bonus stuff and Hiveswap are still well on hold though.)

So are we gonna follow up on the main ship? Probably not, right, with that perfect Karkat point to cut away, right? We’re just going to leave Roxy’s question hanging, as well as makeouts etiquette, and leave while having seen a COUPLE FRAMES of non-possessed canon Jade with only whatever fun fanart was inspired across the internet by the moment to tide us over????

Yeah, probably.

Ugh, more Dirk. I guess it’s overdue. :(

> CHAPTER 16. Welcome to my Secret Lair

Oh huh, I guess not? So... Jane’s, or Rose and Kanaya’s?

Karkat stays for longer than John thought he would. They talk a bit, but mostly they are quiet. Eventually, Karkat gets called away on yet more important war business, leaving John with one final touch on the shoulder. John leans into it in response, though he’s a bit ashamed of chasing down a sliver of physical affection so soon after obliterating Karkat’s evening like he had.

Pretty much, yeah. Can’t blame either of them.

When Karkat is finally gone, John still doesn’t move. It isn’t as though he has nowhere else to go, since there are quite a few places he might attempt to make himself useful, for better or for worse.

You’re still abandoning the task that was explicitly yours to protect your literal kid and his friends, but, oh well. Low-point. Dave dead, house dead, broke news, I get it.

He just doesn’t feel ready for that yet. The remnants of his house are still smoldering, and he can’t stop staring at them. It would make sense, he thinks, to want to root around through the rubble for anything that’s still intact; some half-charred keepsake to claim as the last thing left that’s still his. But he doesn’t want to do it, and he doesn’t want to think about it. And he still can’t move.

Can’t move. No Breath huh? What’s going to get him to, then?

> (==>)

Oh boy, that might help. XD She’s pretty good at that.

> (==>)

Still with the waistline gap. And was his phone always yellow like his God-Tier shoes?

ROXY: hey john can u do me a quick solid ROXY: actly idk how quick itll be but its definitely solid ROXY: harry anderson says i just missed u being here but could u skip back on over?

Nice, huh! No judgment, just a hey-any-chance-you-could-swing-back. He sort of needs to be needed right now, in a simple, almost everyday non-judgmental way I guess. (That’s what he NEEDED anyway-- whether he deserved it though is up for debate.)

ROXY: i need help w/smth and yr darling boy is holed up in his room working on some fuckin craft project or other and cant be bothered

YES SEW JOHN A BETTER FITTING FUCKING OUTFIT

ROXY: and now that me and u are freshly on speakin terms again i might as well take advantage of that olive branch and put u to work ROXY: assumin you havent died in an air raid, that is ROXY: which id also be interested in knowin about so if u wld be so kind as to reply instead of leavin me hangin

Heheheh. Gosh Roxy is always the best.

JOHN: yea yea sorry im here. JOHN: i just had a hard time getting my phone out of these fucking tiny pants.

Hah.

JOHN: and also my house is bombed out so i'm kinda grappling with that. JOHN: but i honestly am not sure how much longer i need to sit around staring at it. trying to align my memories of my youth with whatever is happening right now so JOHN: short version is no i’m not dead, and yeah i can come back over there and help you out. ROXY: oh sweet yr alive and down to do manual labor its a win/win JOHN: see you soon.

Yep! Pulled away from all the metaphorical, ultra-meaningful bullshit, back to some brass tacks with some easy humor. Definitely something Roxy can do well.~

> (==>)

EXCUSE ME. What is that outfit and pose. Did you--

ROXY: sup ROXY: follow me ROXY: well were just going to my room so i guess technically u know the way JOHN: haha ok.

Did you invite him over for the manual labor of banging you while your son is sewing in the other room

Or maybe the labor is making him a new sibling. JFC

Is this plan part of why we got the sudden content warning that was mocked or was that mainly for Hiveswap

John follows, trying to shake the ominous feeling he got from what she’d just said. He’d been in and out of this house a lot in the past few days. Why should this be any different?

I DUNNO JOHN DOES THIS SEEM DIFFERENT TO YOU

> (==>)

Yea this seems like a fucc room.

JOHN: it’s not like i could forget! ROXY: ya i guess u only really saw the living room when you were here the other day but i have changed some stuff up ROXY: done a lil redecoratin here n there

So it’s MORE of a fucc room than previously >__>”

ROXY: may have to do a smidge more if my old bff decides im next on the list for bombing out ROXY: but so far so good

Ah geez.

ROXY: just a coupla exploded cars in the yard from some shenanigans our dear son and his friends were in but u kno it is what it is!!!

Well, that’ll buff out easy.

ROXY: can i get u anything? ROXY: just made some coffee JOHN: no, uh, i’m good.

Of course she has a fancy handled winecoffeeglass (and the handle does look ridiculous but it’d be too hot to hold otherwise)

Roxy shrugs and swirls her own coffee around in her novelty mug. John looks around. A lot about the room is the same. The family photos, the rug. There’s a lot more cat stuff in there now, though. The bed is new. John feels like he’s about to take a test he hasn’t studied for. He makes himself focus on what she’s saying.

That would be the feeling.

> (==>)

MY GOD. Roxy is so fucking good at this holy shit

She KNOWS she’s making him squirm and she loves it

JOHN: so uh anyway. JOHN: what was this favor? ROXY: yo why dont u just come rest yr tush for a bit ROXY: take a lil relax next 2 me here JOHN: haha uh. JOHN: roxy i uh. JOHN: im flattered, but i don’t know if that’s really the right step right now. JOHN: don’t get me wrong, everything seems so fucked up right now that when i try to think about what might actually BE the right step, it feels like a huge cartoon question mark might physically manifest over my head. JOHN: but I’m not sure if um rekindling our physical relationship is really the best--

So is Roxy trolling him, about to reveal she wasn’t thinking of sex and was just making things seem sultry? Or just had “lol jk” as an option-select, maybe.

> (==>)

ROXY: r u kiddin me rn egbert JOHN: i’m not? unless you were, in which case yeah lets say i was also kidding. JOHN: oh my god, i’m sorry, i don’t know why this making me freak out.

OH NOOO NOT THE DISDAAAAIN - CRITICAL HIT D:

ROXY: i remember our past boot knockin with fondness but that is a situation im not interested in revisiting

boot knockin XD

ROXY: look john ROXY: i was trying to be polite about it ROXY: offering u sustenance n rest n all ROXY: but you look like shit ROXY: i just wanted to catch up on the whole heinous war situation were in and maybe check in on e/o before leaping strait to the real n actual nonsexual manual labor favor i have in mind for u JOHN: oh.

Hey, she can’t help looking sexy she’s too good at it.

Is the manual labor moving the crashed cars? Can’t Roxy pull that off on her own, or... banish the cars to the void or something? (Oh, but WOULD she want to do it on her own when she can rope in John and bring him down to earth by giving him a useful task? And admittedly his strength and wallet would make things easier.)

John feels his shoulders unbunch. Of course. Yeah. He’s almost embarrassed by how relieved he feels. So what if his ex wife wanted to hook up? Shouldn’t that be a situation he could navigate? Don’t people like to find solace in human physical connection during dire times? Why did the idea of it make his mind white out in panic more than, say, any number of the traumas he just experienced?

Probably some gender stuff mixed up in there too, June.

He doesn’t know, but he believes Roxy that he must look pretty haggard. He probably feels haggard? Maybe sitting down will feel better.

Just put your feet up yeah

> (==>)

WHAT A CUTE IMAGE

JOHN: sorry. like i said, my "how to react to stuff" meter is completely fucked right now. ROXY: thats fair bud

she’s used to being patient with you don’t worry otherwise you never would’ve gotten this far

ROXY: real fast i do need to do a quick takeback of all that shit i said last time we talked about janey not being literally the most evil person we knew or whatever ROXY: i guess i was hopped up on arguin or somethin since that was before we hit our conversational vibe bc of course u were right and i shoulda listened

Ouch. Yeah, we saw just lately just how far off the deep end she was. (Where was that funny upd8 reaction art summarizing the bit where Kanaya was holding Tavros hostage and Jane was transparently debating “hmm do I let my son die?” and Kanaya and Tavros were just looking at each-other flat-mouthed nervous? I REALLY wanted to share that but I don’t usually want to reblog or put most stuff HS^2 not under a read-more, for spoiler purposes, usually.)

ROXY: im just glad ur ok ROXY: or like alive JOHN: yeah, jury's still out on "ok" but, you know. ROXY: ya ROXY: u said ur house is gone?? JOHN: yep. JOHN: completely. ROXY: jeez ROXY: i would ask how ur feelin but like the answer 2 that has got 2b "prtty bad"

Talk it ouuuut~~ get those feels out there and articulated john

JOHN: yeah. JOHN: i mean. JOHN: no? JOHN: it’s weird. JOHN: it feels like it should be a bigger deal, I guess? JOHN: like it’s my HOUSE. JOHN: but mostly it always felt like my dad’s house? JOHN: and when i started living there after i moved out of here, it was like i crammed myself back into whatever was left of my kid self? JOHN: and it didn’t feel good, but it at least was familiar, you know? JOHN: like living there let me feel closer to my dad, trying to be like the way i remember him, or like how i remember him wanting me to be, or something? JOHN: and i didn’t realize how much i hated doing that until i saw it all go up in flames. JOHN: so i guess i could have used my powers to stop the fire and save whatever was left of the place, but i couldn’t bring myself to do it. JOHN: like some fucked up part of me was glad i got there too late? JOHN: so i just sat there, watching, trying to figure out why watching my house burn down felt like i was being released from prison. JOHN: and even now i keep trying to explain it away, as though it’s because of how fucked up everything else is that it made me feel good. JOHN: but that’s just bullshit. JOHN: it DID feel good. JOHN: i DO feel free. JOHN: sorry.

I was kind of saying some Breath/Blood stuff at the time of him losing his last tie to his stubborn sticking-to-his-kid-self bit? Except now we’re mixing it in with June Egbert and his gender-identity questions too.

ROXY: no need 2 apologize ROXY: we just delved in2 my whole gender thing last time so it seems fine for u to have a turn JOHN: i didn’t say it was a gender thing.

Oh shit

ROXY: well no i just meant like i did some sharing ROXY: like referrin 2 the topic i brought up when we chatted last ROXY: but like now that u mention it ROXY: *meaningful pause* JOHN: … JOHN: i JOHN: ROXY: lol well we can move on 2 the favor part if youd rather ROXY: stick a lil pin in that topic n come back 2 it when u have had sleep

Are you just INCREDIBLY incisive Roxy or have you and John talked about this before?

ROXY: like i said the other day its not like this shits figureoutable in 1 sitting anyways JOHN: yeah... ROXY: sooooooo ROXY: movin on

It’s just fine for Roxy to slow-roll this yeah, if she’s going to pry open that door a little

ROXY: dont be mad but theres a part of the house u didnt know abt the whole time u lived here JOHN: what? ROXY: yea ROXY: i got a secret lair ROXY: for my sciences

OH FUCK YES SCIENCE LAB, of COURSE Roxy would want a cool science lab basement because she always wants a cool science lab basement

ROXY: and i get to it via a transportalizer underneath our bed ROXY: which is 2 heavy 2 move by my lonesome so i just needed to borrow some o your aforementioned powers of wind

Okay no. Wait. What the fuck?

First of all, as funny and MSPaintAdventures-y as furniture being in the way of things is, why would you block it with a bed too heavy to move, but,

Second of all, more importantly, how is a GOD-TIER ROXY not strong enough to lift a heavy bed?!?!?!? Either she’s lying to get John involved in things or this is a gendered cop-out because these characters are superheroes at the TOP of their echeladders, given obnoxiously powerful video-game strength and athletics only to then have ascended into DEITIES. God-Tier Roxy could probably have lifted a bed like that when she was SEVENTEEN! And now she’s an ADULT, out-of-shape or otherwise! If this were a whole CAR I might be willing to handwave it, but just a heavy BED?!? And none of the GUYS are going to have this much trouble lifting a bed like this, are they?? This just feels like following classic cartoony gender tropes in the complete absence of these characters’ super powers, what the fuck, and also Roxy if you didn’t make it Transportalizer-only access you could have given it an entrance you could phase through with your fancy powers to get to. FUCK.

This feels stupid.

ROXY: so if u dont mind woosh away JOHN: uh ok, well... JOHN: a secret science lair, sure, i can deal with that. JOHN: why not! JOHN: it doesn’t work out great when i do the windy thing indoors, though. ROXY: aight then no wind bending just use your mangrit

Roxy flexes, the corner of her mouth pulled up into a familiar grin. John feels his guts, so recently calmed, twist up into knots again. Her eyebrows shoot up and the smile loosens. He must have shown something on his face.

You’re already THIS sensitive about gendertalk?

ROXY: ok or just like push when i push ROXY: we both got sick muscles ROXY: no other adjectives necessary JOHN: yeah ok. ROXY: on 3?

Please, please reinforce the idea that they both have sick strength, because they fucking do and the idea that Roxy actually a hundred percent NEEDED John to do this is BS.

> (==>)

JOHN: holy shit? ROXY: sorry to lop yet another huge scoop onto ur lil brains ice cream revelation sundae JOHN: so wait, if this thing's always been under the bed, how’d you get down here before without me? ROXY: well thats neither here nor there john JOHN: i mean it is kinda. Here. ROXY: fine ok checkmate ROXY: i dont ACTUALLY need ur nerdgrit for this escapade ROXY: like im sorry but i said it ROXY: i mostly just wanted to see you and show u wats down here

THANK FUCKING CHRIST.

If that wasn’t actually just a lie to get him involved I was going to stay SO mad. Of COURSE Roxy can move a fucking BED no matter how heavy it is. OF COURSE.

ROXY: and also uve been ~sent for~ JOHN: ok but like ROXY: john i am inviting u 2 my inner sanctum ROXY: i am literally bringing out the word "sanctum" in case u werent already clued in 2 how cool this is ROXY: so do u wanna go into my secret lair or wat JOHN: yeah!? JOHN: yes? i guess? ROXY: aight good

Yes John of course you want to stop fighting it

ROXY: then as they told me in the hospital before lil h a was born ROXY: just push

eyeroll, but yeah, of course

> (==>)

Oh cool, sprite form version of her loungewear.

> (==>)

Sorry for my compulsion to post every full-frame image of Roxy in this awesome outfi-WERE YOU KEEPING CALLIOPE UNDER YOUR BED THIS WHOLE TIME?!?????

That’s like... almost a fucking metaphor isn’t it???? For the relationship you preferred in the other timeline and possibly THIS one TOO or

ROXY: hey callieee i got him ROXY: o damn john sorry i shoulda also told u callies here weve been hangin out again ROXY: 1 more freak for ur bean

Oh huh, so this isn’t an always thing. And these two can get close in more than one timeline where it would’ve worked out nicely. :)

JOHN: oh it's ok, my bean feels pretty well adjusted to freakage at this point so keep them coming if you like! ROXY: k cool i will JOHN: do i get to know what that big thing under the sheet is? ROXY: hmmmmmm no JOHN: oh ok. JOHN: are you sure? i mean, it seems like a pretty prominent feature of the room. JOHN: space. JOHN: wherever we are. ROXY: and a totally mysterious n COMPLETELY inconspicuous feature it will have to remain for now ROXY: we r kinda in a hurry here fyi ROXY: and by that i mean ROXY: we are in precisely the amount of hurry that means im excused from having to a that specific q rn JOHN: right, sorry. JOHN: i will pay no attention to the object behind the curtain. ROXY: u catch on fast egbert ROXY: anyway theres more cool info coming so just follow me

I don’t have any big theories. Is it just the Hiveswap device or something? If Calliope helped with it it’d help explain the Cherubic theme.

> (==>)

JOHN: so... this is all downstairs? JOHN: it seems like you had a lot of work done. ROXY: well no not x actly ROXY: were in the old meteor JOHN: under the house??? ROXY: ok so ROXY: in hindsight it may have been a bit misleading 2 say like ROXY: "downstairs" ROXY: in reference to a place which is hells of buried underground and may not actually be literally under the house ROXY: but there is no time to explain all that rn john so instead im going to refer u to my adorable little green friend here CALLIOPE: #U_U# ROXY: (hehe) CALLIOPE: *AHEM* CALLIOPE: hi john! CALLIOPE: long time no see. ^u^

Cherubs just really like dark cavelike places full of weird tech don’t they.

> (==>)

THEY’RE SO CUTE

JOHN: oh, uh. hey callie! JOHN: it sure has been a while huh. JOHN: now that i think about it, the last time the three of us hung out like this... CALLIOPE: was when i was aggressively third wheeling yoUr prenUptial coUrtship? CALLIOPE: if yoU dont mind, john, i'd rather not rehash that period of oUr lives. CALLIOPE: it was more than a little painfUl for me. JOHN: oh. JOHN: god, jeez, i'm sorry. i didn't mean to-- CALLIOPE: hee hee john i am only pUlling yoUr leg, don't worry. CALLIOPE: if anything i was personally a little thrilled with how things shook oUt in that respect. CALLIOPE: imagine, if yoU will, a yoUng cherUb raised in solitUde, whose only solace was the convolUted and tUmUltUoUs romantic schemata she projected onto her only friends from another Universe. CALLIOPE: and then fUrther imagine that this yoUng cherUb, throUgh varioUs even *more* convolUted contrivances, ended Up in the company of those selfsafe friends as an eqUal participant in their sphere of social discoUrse! CALLIOPE: it is a joy the like of which yoU possibly cannot fathom. u_u

Reinforcing that things turning out this way was in fact the FANTASY that Calliope was writing over in the Canon timeline. Just, heavily, HEAVILY implied that the Candy timeline is -- or at least originated as -- Calliope’s fanfiction as a Muse of Space, and its competition for audience interest with canon is the essential conflict between alt!Calliope and Dirk (or Dirk and Andrew Hussie).

CALLIOPE: so to pUt it simply, getting to experience sUch emotional drama myself was an impossibly enriching experience. CALLIOPE: possibly a first for my species! CALLIOPE: it's actUally qUite interesting, if yoU ROXY: *nudge* CALLIOPE: oh, right. yes. i'm getting a little carried away, haha. CALLIOPE: argh, i'm sorry, this is not how i planned to begin this vital conversation.

Vital conversation? What sorta truth-bombs are coming?

CALLIOPE: but to sUmmarise, what i was trying to say is: CALLIOPE: don't beat yourself Up aboUt it john. CALLIOPE: besides, hUman divorces are even more fascinating than i had ever imagined, and being able to witness yoUrs in motion was an honoUr. CALLIOPE: so i consider Us aboUt even at this point. JOHN: hahaha!!! JOHN: okay, well that's good to know! CALLIOPE: ^u^

Holy SHIT that was savage! And we’ll NEVER know whether or not she really intended it so savagely, either.~

JOHN: so um... JOHN: i hear that there's this big secret thing you wanna tell me about? CALLIOPE: oh right, yes of course! CALLIOPE: let me jUst say first of all how thrilled i am that yoU're on board. CALLIOPE: i wasn't sUre if yoUr natUral inclinations woUld have preclUded yoUr coming to such a place as this, and yet here yoU are. CALLIOPE: this whole endeavoUr will be *so* mUch easier with yoUr help.

Uh oh.

Hopefully babies aren’t involved.

JOHN: oh! well, shucks. JOHN: not really sure what that means but i'm just glad to be of use somewhere, haha. JOHN: which, speaking of somewhere, CALLIOPE: ah right, right. yoU're probably a little cUrioUs as to where the dickens we are. CALLIOPE: how much do yoU know aboUt black holes? JOHN: um... like, the big space things? CALLIOPE: they aren't always big actUally, and in fact their relative smallness is practically their defining qUality. JOHN: oh. CALLIOPE: bUt okay i think we are on the same page. CALLIOPE: so, what if i told yoU that we are inside of a black hole right now.

Oh dear, we’re getting into the canon/noncanon divide?

JOHN: um... JOHN: like, HERE? JOHN: we just transportalized into a black hole? CALLIOPE: no, i mean, what if oUr whole WORLD was inside a black hole. JOHN: ok.

Yeah, that’s gonna be John’s reaction. “ok.” Pretty much inevitable.

CALLIOPE: earth c, or at least oUr version of it, has, from the moment we crossed the victory threshold, been inside a black hole. JOHN: ok. CALLIOPE: and not just any black hole, bUt the very black hole in which the green sUn Ultimately met its demise, allowing oUr victory in the first instance! JOHN: huh! ROXY: ("huh!") ROXY: (rofl my fucking ao egbert) JOHN: (shhhh!)

And Roxy enjoys his non-reaction reactions as much as we do, hehe.

CALLIOPE: bUt, paradoxically, the critical moment which determined its capture within the black hole happened *after* that point. CALLIOPE: i refer of coUrse to yoUr decision not to retUrn to the mediUm and fight my brother. JOHN: wait, wait. JOHN: you mean, the meat and candy thing? JOHN: oh my god. JOHN: you mean i actually DID make a mistake that day. CALLIOPE: well, that's not exactly what that-- JOHN: ugh, i fucking KNEW it! JOHN: i'm so sorry. JOHN: i'm so sorry that i put the earth inside a black hole everyone. ): ROXY: john ROXY: listen ROXY: u have got to get out of this mindset i am begging you JOHN: ):

Yeah shake him out of this shit.

ROXY: your choice literally didnt matter ROXY: the whole thing was symbolic in the first place ROXY: literally symbolic in the case of the picnic i mean come on ROXY: it was just some steak and a plate of candy suckers JOHN: oh. CALLIOPE: i mean, i wouldn't go so far as to say that the meal we shared was unimportant, given the sacred significance of the two options i presented. CALLIOPE: but yes, yoUr choice of snack was infinitely less important than the choice which it presaged. CALLIOPE: and even then, calling it a choice woUld be sorely misleading. CALLIOPE: think of it like a coin flip. CALLIOPE: the series of events that led to Us being trapped beyond the event horizon of an Ubermassive black hole could be considered "tails", while the events which would have occUrred otherwise could be considered "heads". CALLIOPE: since both were possible, and paradox space is the way it is, they actUally both happened. and we jUst "happened" (hee hee) to get tails instead of heads. JOHN: you mean we ended up with the bad possibility. CALLIOPE: not at all! since both possibilities depend on one another's existence, it really doesn't make sense to call them "right" or "wrong". they both just "are". JOHN: o...kay... CALLIOPE: u_u

Yeah, it’s going to take a bit more than that to convince him he didn’t make the “wrong decision”.

CALLIOPE: i realise that this may be a lot to process. CALLIOPE: it's easy to forget that this wasn't obvioUs to everyone from the beginning. CALLIOPE: anyway, the reason i went on this tangent in the first place was to explain that the space we are standing in right now has a special significance, in that it is the location which corresponds to the black hole's singUlarity. JOHN: oh, wow. JOHN: um. JOHN: ok so, sorry if this is a dumb question to ask suddenly, but what does being inside of a black hole actually... mean for us? JOHN: is that bad? JOHN: is it like in movie, um, JOHN: shoot. JOHN: roxy what was that matthew mcconaughey movie from your earth that we watched? ROXY: u mean interstellar JOHN: RIGHT. JOHN: the one with the organ. JOHN: man. i cried at that movie so much. ROXY: lol u can say that again ROXY: iirc at least part of y u got so weepy was the fact that u couldnt believe a version of earth existed where ppl got 2 watch more mcconaughey films than you JOHN: listen. JOHN: i simply don't think you all appreciated the gift you were given. CALLIOPE: i don't believe i'm familiar with this particular film ^u^;; ROXY: oh dont worry cal you didnt miss much JOHN: (gasp)

This is all gold

ROXY: but the important point is that no its not really an interstellar type situation here egbert ROXY: ur not gonna enter a weird time vortex and change the trajectory of a little girls life with the power of love JOHN: aw.

Dammit, now we have to be on the lookout for that possibility. Or it did sort of already happen more than once to John. ...Whatever.

CALLIOPE: to go back to your original question, john. CALLIOPE: it's not strictly speaking "bad" for Us to be inside of a black hole, mUch thoUgh that contradicts most of what anyone knows about them. CALLIOPE: of coUrse, if we had fallen into it, that woUld be a whole other kettle of fish. CALLIOPE: the tidal forces woUld have stretched Us all into spaghetti and then ripped us apart! CALLIOPE: bUt the natUre of oUr arrival was more akin to simply "being" here, sUddenly. one moment we were not, and the next moment we were, and somehow always had been. CALLIOPE: in everyday, practical terms, being inside of a black hole has very little bearing on Us. CALLIOPE: i mean, the natUre of space and time is a little finicky in here, bUt for the most part it doesn't seem to be anything too oUt of the ordinary. CALLIOPE: bUt beyond that, it means that we are sealed away from the rest of existence. CALLIOPE: oUr sphere of inflUence is limited to the sphere of the black hole's bounding horizon. CALLIOPE: as far as everyone else is concerned, we might as well not even exist! JOHN: is there no way we could let anyone know that we're in here...? CALLIOPE: almost certainly not!

No? So this doesn’t have to do with the divide?

CALLIOPE: there are very few ways for anything to escape the kind of predicament that we are in right now. one of them is to be an all-powerfUl being with control over the very fabric of space, with the energy of two Universes at yoUr disposal. CALLIOPE: in which case, escape woUld become rather trivial, if a little Unscientific. JOHN: ok. i am going to assume that we can't just do that. CALLIOPE: yoU've hit the nail on the head, UnfortUnately. U_U CALLIOPE: the method i described was the one employed by my alternate self, who yoU may recall crashed through the event horizon in the body that once belonged to jade harley. CALLIOPE: she departed through a pUnctUre she created in the black hole's surface shortly after consUming my brother, a deed which provided her with the necessary "oomph", and which was frankly rather breathtaking to watch. =u= CALLIOPE: bUt Upon her departUre, the rift closed for good. as far as i can see, there's simply no way for Us to commUnicate with the world oUtside the black hole.

What the heck? Calliope SAW all this? Is this her Muse powers at work, letting her observe these things, or was she there? And John certainly did NOT see ANY of what Calliope just said happen.

CALLIOPE: i woUld certainly be very sUrprised to find oUt that anyone had managed sUch a thing!

So we’re going to find that out if we haven’t already. Maybe something to do with the way Vrissy just conks out narcoleptically?

JOHN: ...right. JOHN: so... let me just get this straight. JOHN: knowing that we're inside of a black hole... does that actually change anything? JOHN: like, can't we just go on living like normal? CALLIOPE: oh absolUtely not. CALLIOPE: i don't know if yoU've noticed john bUt this world is on the brink of a total cataclysm. JOHN: oh.

Um, what?

CALLIOPE: oUr exclUsion from the overarching coUrse of events which governs all reality means that oUr existence here is liable to dramatic and violent Upheaval. CALLIOPE: to pUt it another way, becaUse nothing in here "matters", we are likely to be sUbjected to things which are a bit bats in the belfry, for no reason other than it's totally insignificant to the wider canon of reality. CALLIOPE: and mUch thoUgh i am personally titillated by some of the conseqUences of this predicament, it is a degrading way for Us to live. u_u JOHN: that's... certainly one way to put it, yeah...

No plot-armor for your entire timeline, I guess, yep. Outside of canon, we can imagine and write about ANYTHING happening to the characters, or just drop their existence entirely, much like a doomed offshoot timeline. It’s a plot stability that depended heavily on the threat of Lord English and being trapped in a story, and without it things are bound to see a BIT chaotic (or “degrading” if you view it as subjected to the whims of fanfic writers, certainly).

CALLIOPE: at first, i believed that this was simply necessary. Us playing tails to oUr coUnterparts' heads, the black to their white, and so forth. CALLIOPE: bUt over the years i have come to the conclUsion that this is simply not kosher. ROXY: its total bs is what it is CALLIOPE: right, yes. CALLIOPE: a steaming pile of bUllshite. CALLIOPE: and so we have decided that something needs to be done aboUt it.

Ah fuck. You’re going to regulate non-canon? “Canonize” it? Is the fact that you eventually succeed at whatever it is you’re trying to do part of why we have the story presented to us in this bifurcated structure?

ROXY: this is finally where u come in jegbert ROXY: we gots quests for yous CALLIOPE: hee hee, yes. CALLIOPE: or *a* quest, to be specific. JOHN: oh boy! ROXY: (this fkin nerd i s2g)

Roxy and Calliope setting him on this quest as a Rogue of Void and a Muse of Space feels fitting.

JOHN: i'm not sure how i can go about freeing us from a hellish space prison, but i'm up for giving it a try i guess? JOHN: i have... literally nothing better to be doing at this point. except for maybe hanging out with harry anderson. ROXY: nice save lol

YEAH WE’RE STILL GLOSSING OVER HOW YOU LEFT HIM UNPROTECTED, JERK

ROXY: but u dont need to worry abt busting us outta space jail tbh ROXY: thats not ur problem to fix JOHN: oh. JOHN: i'm... not sure i follow, then. ROXY: i mean yeah ur gonna obvs facilitate it in a sense ROXY: but only by going and busting the person who can actually help us outta normal earth jail CALLIOPE: we need yoU to free vriska from the clUtches of oUr misgUided friend jane, and bring her here, to the singUlarity. ROXY: weve been calling it the plot point CALLIOPE: yes, the plot point is a key part of oUr plan. CALLIOPE: as far as we have been able to sUrmise, the only remaining method for escaping oUr grim confinement depends on leveraging the UniqUe properties of this location to create an event of sUch catalcysmic proportions that it simply cannot be contained within the black hole any more. CALLIOPE: something SO dramatic, so hyper-relevant, that it becomes ontologically impossible for anyone to ignore it. CALLIOPE: for that, we need an individUal of sUfficient narrative cloUt, so to speak. CALLIOPE: and to liberate her, who better than the embodiment of the aspect of freedom itself? CALLIOPE: ... CALLIOPE: phew. okay, i'm finished. CALLIOPE: CALLIOPE: sorry, that took longer than i expected to go throUgh.

..............................

OOooooh, kay.

Whatever this is, it’s going to be really weird and PROBABLY infuriating and/or shippy, and I’m probably not going to like it. Plus it seems like it’s some sort of inverse belated canonization of some other black-hole-rescue theories I went on about at some point. Although, related to that link, “aspect of freedom” if anyone wasn’t paying attention! That’s a (sorta-)canon mention of the purpose of it!

They’re going to attention-wh-- attention-hog themselves out of the black hole so that they’re “considered canon” too, or close enough. Huh.

ROXY: what r u talking about cals that was great ROXY: i could listen 2 u plotsplain for years CALLIOPE: oh you >u< ROXY: fyi this was why i wanted u to get a move on eggbread ROXY: so callie could have more time 2 infodump ROXY: thats love bitchhhhhh JOHN: hahaha. JOHN: ok, well, i think i understood all that?

Love with who? Callie, John, both?

In reality, John isn’t sure what most of this means. But on balance, it feels okay? He’s gone back and forth about a hundred times in the last week about where his place in everything is, so he might as well ride this out. Plus, the last time a Lalonde kind of told him to do something, he thinks that he chose not to, and look where that got him. And it’s not like he has other plans. He may as well do this! It’s at least going to get him involved in things again, if nothing else. He turns to go, and then hears a sound. It’s the sound of feet and knocking on doors, echoed through stone and digital static.

Oh shit. Is Andrew trapped behind some fourth walls behind the curtains.

> (==>)

Oh RIGHT also that DEVICE is where they want to bring Vriska. Are they going to overturn part of canon itself with a super-retcon thus making this timeline unbelievably relevant or--? Maybe make all the PESTERQUESTS canon or something?! I don’t know. Maybe they’re INTENTIONALLY starting the game like Vriska wanted to??????

Guh, this is something so big that I don’t WANT to theorize about it, do I.

JOHN: did you hear that? ROXY: wha ROXY: oh yeah uh ROXY: i may have messaged rose and kan and jade to check on them too ROXY: so its prob onea them showin up ROXY: they don’t need to know bout all this tho ROXY: we got time to chat with them b4 u go get vriska

No, even if it’s a knock at the somehow-top-level-house-even-under-buried-- oh, right, maybe it’s covering in part a monitoring system that looks up there. But still, part of that sound was DOUBTLESS these two hiding something, all standing in front of the curtain like that.

JOHN: i’ll go stall em. ROXY: thx babe ROXY: oh is it 2 soon for that joke or JOHN: no, weirdly enough, that one’s fine. ROXY: oh good ok see u up there soon!

How is calling your significant other “babe” not cool REGARDLESS of gender?! Like wasn’t that always cool? --Oh wait is it because they’re not together or... but... guh, I don’t know.

Anyway, see y’all after the holidays at least.

#Homestuck #hs2 #Homestuck Liveblog #upd8 #Homestuck^2 #spoiler #spoilers #Roxy Lalonde #John Egbert #Calliope

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