#obviously i mean this in a nice way but like. they’ve put enough salt in the wound they didn’t need to rub it in

[useless-gay-kid4]

more japhan??

more??

have we not suffered enough??

#obviously i mean this in a nice way but like. they’ve put enough salt in the wound they didn’t need to rub it in #we GET IT you’re HAPPY love is REAL joy is ATTAINABLE now please let me miserable in PEACE #dan and phil #japhan #japhan 3.0 #phandom #dnp #dan howell #phil lester

[miraculouscontent]

“Sentibubbler” summary? “Sentibubbler” salt?

Why not both at the same time?

Something a little experimental, though also somewhat reminiscent of some of my past videos. Calling it “summasalt” for now, based on the word “somersault” because this episode was an exercise of my patience.

It’s basically just me going through the episode with my usual episode summary, but salting along the way instead of making you guys read a wall of text without any images or clips or me making snarky comments.

(By the way, yes, I did in fact have caffeine before recording.)

script below for anyone who wants/needs it:

"Sentibubbler" begins with Marinette having food with the Cesaires and I already know this isn't real because Marinette is actually getting to interact with her best friend's family. That's only happened, like--when, two episodes of Season 2? [”Sapotis” and “Anansi”]

Marinette sees Trixx and points out how they're supposed to be a secret, and Alya asks why while calling Marinette "Ladybug." Marinette plays dumb but is told by Nino that everyone already knows her secret. Chloe is also there, chiding Marinette for her identity rule - it's not Marinette's rule but after "Reflekdoll" I've just gotten used to Marinette being blamed for things she didn't do - and Marinette goes to question Chloe's apperance when there's a knock on the balcony door. Alya invites Shadow Moth in and--[Shadow Moth has to duck to come inside]--huh, I thought Sole Crusher was seven episodes ago.

Anyway, now obviously, Marinette is just being ridiculous and overemotional as usual, because why would Marinette ever think that Alya would reveal any information to--["Feast"]--oh yeah, that's right.

Tikki doesn't transform Marinette and says that Marinette shouldn't have trusted Alya with her secret. Enter Chat Blanc, who says that they can be together now without any secrets. Not really sure what this episode is aiming for with the mixed message of "your identity rule sucks" but also "your fault for trusting someone instead of having a mental breakdown," but a’ight. Trixx also gets another dig in on Marinette for giving Alya the fox miraculous.

Marinette wakes up from her nightmare and panics, but Tikki reassures her that Alya is loyal. [”Chameleon”] Mm. Also, that kind of support might've been nice from Tikki literal seasons ago when Marinette could've used a confidant.

Wayzz - I swear, they've had eyelashes more often than not in this season - points out that Trixx is mischievous and Xuppu talks about Trixx being the cause of the Loch Ness monster rumors, which worries Marinette further. Marinette runs out in her pajamas and I can already predict that neither Tom nor Sabine are going to check on her later or care.

Marinette finds the Cesaires looking for something, their words vague enough for Marinette to think that they're talking about Trixx. Alya brushes Marinette off and tells her to help with looking instead of lecturing her.

Marlena makes a comment that reminds Marinette of her nightmare, only increasing Marinette's stress. A tarantula crawls up a ladle and Marinette freaks out when she sees it, which Marlena has a laugh at because Marinette's anxiety, fear, and panic is hilarious, guys!

This is my laughing face. [not a laughing face]

Nino exits, having been too afraid of the spider to leave the room, so Nora compares Marinette to him. Nino tries to play it cool, then changes the subject to point out Marinette's pajamas. Alya wonders aloud why Marinette showed up and Marinette tries to act casual, but Alya sees through it and states that she doesn't usually lose things when someone lends them to her.

I presume the exception is Marinette's trust. OH-HOOOOHHH, we'll get there.

Nora takes a jab at Alya for losing the spider and Marinette drags Alya away to talk. Nino tries to join but Alya states that it's between her and Marinette, which makes Nino sad.

Nino, does the phrase "guys' time" ring a bell by any chance?

Marinette is explaining her nightmare and is simply told to calm down by Alya, though Marinette is briefly startled by a phone ringing. Marinette puts together what she knows that Shadow Moth knows, including that Alya is Rena Rouge, adding on that Shadow Moth could steal the fox necklace if he figured out that Alya has it permanently. Alya reassures her that no one will ever know and Marinette states that this must include Chat Noir. Alya agrees and brings attention to the fanny pack around her waist, which Trixx has been hiding in, and Marinette has Trixx promise not to show up at the dining table like in her nightmare. Tikki tells Marinette that everything will be fine and Marinette admits that it was silly of her to worry, which it was! ...If you ignore all the anxiety, mental scarring, and constant pressure to be perfect or risk Paris lighting itself on fire, much like I presume they accidentally did with their original script for this episode.

Alya tells Marinette to trust her and also herself - I'll be sure to keep that in mind, Alya, thank you - then Alya loses her temper at the phone continuing to ring. She leaves to find an empty living room, then answers the phone only to hear Shadow Moth on the other line. Alya turns upon hearing Marinette scream to see that Marinette has been trapped in a bubble. Cue the reveal/return of the Bubbler, who is definitely Nino akumatized and not--like--a sentimonster, because the episode didn't spoil it at all with the title of Sentibub--

show, this is freaking embarrassing. Why even bother akumatizing someone when you can mold a sentimonster with the exact power you want?

At least they reveal it quickly, though that also means I have to live with the knowledge that Shadow Moth wINKED AT ALYA, NO.

Anyway, Shadow Moth tells Alya that he wants her to betray Ladybug. Marinette, meanwhile, is panicking over being unable to transform while in public, whereas Tikki remains calm and reassures her that Alya will figure something out and it's why Marinette gave Alya the fox miraculous in the first place.

Weird, I thought it was for the show to continuously validate Alya as a worthy choice for a confidant despite repeatedly covering up her sINS and so the show can push for more anxiety on Marinette's part while simultaneously not having to make a new hero model for Alya, which they would have to do if the realistic decision had been made to give Alya a different miraculous due to Shadow Moth knowing her identity as Rena Rouge.

Marinette texts Alya to inform her that the Bubbler is a sentimonster and so Rena can tell Chat not to use Cataclysm on him or the bubbles will burst due to the sentimonster's lack of control.

Hate to burst the show's bubble but Alya could literally see Nino up in the sky and they could see her; the bubbles are in viewing range. Did this even go through a quality check?

Alya goes to look at Marinette's text, but the phone is bubbled away by Sentibubbler. Marinette sees the phone floating by and panics, only to be reassured again to trust Alya and at this point I vaguely wondered if I was watching this episode on repeat. Tikki also adds that Alya has never let her down - [”Ladybug”] MMMM - and Marinette agrees, also certain that Chat Noir will show up soon.

Oh yeah, he exists. Oh no.

Cut to the Agreste mansion where Adrien is watching the news - dude, how is there never anything better on when you need to be told that there's an akuma? here, look, I'll show you [”Silencer” Lukabug clip] there, much better, see? - and it's pointed out that the bubbles are identical to the ones Bubbler had, yet Nino is in one of the bubbles. Adrien readies himself while Plagg is - for once - okay with leaving since his cheese isn't "edible" yet.

I feel like he should be a little more concerned about Marinette being in a bubble.

Meanwhile, Shadow Moth is explaining to Alya that Ladybug will come to give her the fox miraculous due to the bubbled people in the sky - plenty of other choices that aren't within breathing range of the obvious danger zone, but a'ight - and SentiBubbler will catch Ladybug. Alya brings up Chat Noir saving her but Shadow Moth states that she'll create an illusion of Ladybug and Rena to lure Chat Noir, who won't see Sentibubbler coming, at which point Rena will hand Shadow Moth her miraculous. He adds that her loved ones will only be returned once all three miraculouses are in his possession, though if she tries to warn the heroes then Sentibubbler will send the bubbles into space, too far for any hero to save them.

[clip of space power-ups] Hm.

Also, I would've just let her keep the miraculous as an extra bribe since he doesn't need the fox and she wouldn't have time to recharge anyway - at least to his knowledge - but that's just me.

Marinette is relieved that Alya still hasn't been captured--TIKKI, I KNOW, YOU'VE BEEN PARROTING THIS ALL EPISODE, I KNOW--but Marinette changes her tune when she sees Alya blindly calling out for Ladybug's help, unaware that Alya is buying time. Marinette laments the idea of transforming there and having using the rabbit to go back in time to reverse, as that's never a good thing (seconded), but gets the idea for Tikki to take her miraculous to someone else. Tikki rejects the idea, as the earrings won't go through the bubble, and Marinette realizes that Chat Noir is their only hope.

I mean, it was nice knowing them. Sure is interesting how Marinette has only been getting herself into these situations where she requires saving when the show needed to present Alya as a valid choice for a confidant.

Meanwhile, Chat Noir is leaving a message for Ladybug about the bubbles in the sky, saying that he'll wait for her; I already see where this is going and I don't like it.

Alya mutters to Trixx about how they need a plan to release Marinette. Through Alya Vision, we're shown Sentibubbler, a bowl of fruit, and the bathroom door. Alya tells Sentibubbler that she needs to go to the bathroom and - wow, we're really doing this, aren't we? - which Shadow Moth rejects. Shadow Moth is also on top of a building holding a coffee cup which honestly makes about as much sense as the rest of the episode, so whatever. Alya claims that she can't wait and that it'll be awkward for Ladybug to find her like that, which gets Shadow Moth to relent but also remind her of what's at stake if she tries anything. Alya states that she can't do anything without a miraculous anyway, then purposefully falls onto the table, concealing her long enough for her to transform and allowing an illusion of herself to go to the bathroom while she escapes. She detransforms in the twins' room and feeds Trixx with some grapes that she'd picked up.

Alya explains her plan to trick Shadow Moth and Sentibubbler since they don't know that she has a miraculous, though she also has to make sure that Chat won't ruin things. Rena then proceeds to call Chat Noir and claim that Ladybug wanted her to call him with her plan, but adds that it's a two-person plan and Chat himself isn't needed, so he needs to wait for further instructions. Chat demands that Ladybug call him to tell him herself, but Rena insists that she can't, as Ladybug is very busy. She warns him not to use Cataclysm if he sees the Bubbler, as he's a sentimonster, then promises to talk to him later before hanging up.

She uses Mirage again, making the Alya illusion reappear as well as creating a Ladybug. Chat Noir, infuriated at being left out, destroys part of a building with his baton. He then dismisses the action because Miraculous Ladybug will fix it.

Spoiler alert, it will, which is a very fascinating detail! I mean, I can't imagine another situation where a hero did something while there was an akuma going around and Miraculous Ladybug decided to help 'em out, but it just goes to show what happens when you're the writers' pet. Just look a little pitiful and they'll give you all the sympathy in the world.

By the way, didn't expect them to actually confirm my theory that Chat Noir does Chat Noir things because he knows that Miraculous Ladybug will fix it anyway, essentially allowing him to earn brownie points from Ladybug via sacrificing himself regardless of how it affects her mentally, yet here we are and I don't know whether to be sad, angry, disappointed, or a mixture of all three.

Chat Noir sees the Ladybug illusion jumping off and gives chase, refuses to stay where he is. Marinette, seeing that Rena Rouge's illusions are active, panics at the sight of Chat Noir, as the illusion will vanish if Chat touches it.

I like to imagine the immediate concern is the idea that Chat Noir will try to take Ladybug's hand while trying to flirt.

Anyway, Marinette flails inside the bubble in an attempt to reach Chat Noir, while illusion Alya and SentiBubbler get into position. Chat Noir watches what he perceives as Ladybug heading into the Cesaire house with Alya, but Marinette gets to him in order to tell him not to go anywhere. Chat complains about everyone telling him to stay put, but Marinette explains Rena's plan to him. Chat is skeptical of how she knows that, to which Marinette insists that she saw it from where she was. Chat Noir relents with a sigh and stays where he is.

SentiBubbler watches as the illusion of Alya and Ladybug talk to each other, Rena making it look like Ladybug is piecing together what happened and refusing to give Alya a miraculous ever again due to Shadow Moth knowing her identity. She claims that she'll find another holder and give them an even more powerful miraculous, which interests Shadow Moth and gets him to follow after the Ladybug illusion. Once Sentibubbler leaves as well, Chat sees this as his chance to stop the sentimonster, as the Ladybug illusion will vanish if it's touched. Marinette strokes his ego for the token love square moment of the episode, and Chat Noir fights SentiBubbler while Shadow Moth goes after the Ladybug illusion.

I'm noticing a real lack of tension in this episode. Once Alya has her plan, it's kind of a clean sweep from start to finish with no interference or unexpected roadblocks in the way. Even Shadow Moth following the Ladybug illusion goes fine, with Shadow Moth even punching a building thinking that Ladybug actually got away from him.

Dude, it's fine, Miraculous Ladybug will fix it, just put on your best sad face. Maybe Chat Noir gets it from you actually, is treatment from the writers a hereditary thing?

Sentibubbler and Chat Noir are still fighting. Shadow Moth shows up and Marinette tries to warn Chat, but Chat gets caught in a bubble and Marinette apologizes; she doesn't have anything to apologize for but after "Reflekdoll" I--wait I already did this.

Chat Noir uses Cataclysm to escape, only to get caught in another bubble. I'd just like to throw out there that this guy's a hero three seasons going and the love interest for the main character, yet his role in the episode has amounted to complaining about the authority of a hero Ladybug chose, throwing a property-destroying tantrum over being excluded, and wasting his power without a single thought which just got him captured again.

Chat, does the name "Syren" ring any bells by any chance? I'm just sayin', you could always quit. In fact, wasn't it you literally one episode ago saying that you understood if Ladybug couldn't always come get you? Then, after seeing the jump from "Glaciator" to "Frozer," I'm about as shocked as rubber.

Back with the competent one, Alya notes to Trixx that Rena Rouge can no longer be seen by Shadow Moth or else the jig is up. She transforms and texts Marinette to be ready, creating an illusion of Marinette that simultaneously hides the real version, allowing her to transform into Ladybug.

Chat Noir's bubble gets dragged down and Shadow Moth gets SentiBubbler to mute Chat Noir's bubble.

[clip from “Silencer” where Ladybug takes amusement in Chat being muted]

Ladybug uses Lucky Charm and receives a pot, her Lucky Vision spotting Shadow Moth's coffee cup, then SentiBubbler, then the tarantula trapped in a bubble. Ladybug deduces that the cup is the sentimonster's object, then pulls the horse miraculous out of her yoyo and unifies it with the ladybug--oh.

Oh my.

You know, it's times like this where I'm reminded that the show knows nothing about fashion... or girls... or good writing actually--there's just a lot of stuff they don't know.

Sentibubbler does a countdown, then starts sending the civilian bubbles up into the sky. Chat Noir is about to de-transform while PegaBug notices of Shadow Moth's two miraculous, up for grabbin'. She notes that she won't be able to catch everyone, so she forms a portal behind Shadow Moth and goes for the coffee cup first, thus putting her in control of SentiBubbler, who happily brings the bubbles back down at her command.

Shadow Moth erases SentiBubbler from existence though, causing everyone to fall, but Chat and PegaBug manage to catch them. PegaBug de-transforms and presents the Cesaires with the tarantula, which had been trapped inside the lucky charm. Ladybug and Chat Noir watch Shadow Moth escape and Ladybug laments that it could've been the end of Shadow Moth once and for all because it's not a Miraculous episode without Marinette being at fault or feeling guilty in some way! Chat Noir reassures her [*by “reassure,” I mean he might as well have said, “Well, you saved ME, so you did great!”] - wow, that's two token love square moments for the price of one episode, don't I feel spoiled - and Ladybug leaves to retrieve the tarantula's tank.

Rena Rouge is waiting for her and they hug, with Rena repeating that she doesn't lose something that someone gives her. Ladybug states that she never should've doubted the idea of giving Alya a miraculous and Imma just give you guys a counter real quick. [counter that shows that Tikki has complimented Alya four times, Alya has complimented herself/told Marinette to trust her thrice, and Marinette has said that she was wrong thrice]. Miraculous Ladybug is cast and everything returns to normal, with Alya explaining what she did and Marinette being relieved that Shadow Moth won't be going after her anymore. Alya confidently asks if she was smart and Marinette is happy to praise her, confirming it and stating that Alya is a real superhero and honestly? If the narrative wanted to marry Alya this badly, they should've just used some of the budget to buy a ring instead of projecting onto the other characters.

Then again, the apparent budget can't even afford a new hero model nor new akuma to a very noticeable degree, so I guess they're taking what they can get.

Alya praises Marinette as well for her work as PegaBug and they do a fistbump, thus ending the episode. There's also this ever-so-lovely post-episode scene with Gabriel and Nathalie where Gabriel laments the fact that Ladybug never makes mistakes which--I... has he even watched the series at all? Gabe, babe, Babriel Agreste, it's literally part of the show's formula that Marinette makes a mistake in every episode and she felt guilty like a minute ago over not yoinking your miraculouses when she had the chance, where have you been?

But, yeah, anyway, the episode.

Needless to say, not a fan. Like I said, the show seems so intent on immediately validating the choices they make with Alya in order to make her look like a better character. "Gang of Secrets" basically replaced her with someone different at the end of the episode, and the episode immediately afterwards in chronological order, "Mr. Pigeon 72," did everything it could to push Marinette out of her guardian position long enough for Alya to figure out the grimoire despite having zero onscreen experience with it, the episode even trapping Ladybug in a situation that forced Rena Rouge to come into play to validate that decision as well.

And now we have "SentiBubbler" here following immediately after "Optigami," desperate to reassure its audience that Alya is cool, smart, truthworthy, and that not needing to make a new model--sorry, I mean Alya continuing to have the fox--was a good decision. All the while, they continue pushing Alya's flaws under the rug [Note that it’s not even considered that Alya is even remotely at fault for Shadow Moth going after her specifically after her stunt in “Optigami” when no one else but Ladybug and Chat have ever given out a miraculous], hiding them instead of Alya actually acknowledging them, the only reason she did so in "Optigami" being the same as in "Gang of Secrets"; to make her look good while Marinette makes a big decision in their relationship.

The episode tries so hard to drill in this idea that Alya is a good friend who can be trusted, and I'm just not here for how much they try to hammer it in. Marinette's very real anxiety over Shadow Moth's power and ability to plan things is played off as her being silly instead of something to be concerned about, and instead of giving her a hug and trying to help her calm down - [clip from “Heart Hunter” of Luka hugging Marinette] I miss Luka - she's just told to trust and believe and hAVE fAiTh in Alya.

Shadow Moth is an adult; he has abilities that the teenage heroes don't. I'm not even saying that Marinette isn't overreacting [Basically, her concern about Shadow Moth is valid, especially after “Optigami” where her identity was almost found out], but she has anxiety and some obvious trauma over "Chat Blanc." I was already upset that Alya got a free pass to Marinette's identity, but the constant stressing over how much Marinette should trust her just doesn't affect me when I know Alya and I know the kind of stuff she's done that the show blatantly ignored in favor of pushing for her.

But okay, show, I'll give Alya the benefit of the doubt that she doesn't deserve. Let's say that she's turned a new leaf, and has become the reliable, trustworthy, and loyal partner that Marinette deserves. I'm sure that Alya has Marinette's back, and will never go behind said back in order to do something completely unsurprising and wholly indicative of the character I actually know her to be.

Especially not a mere three episodes later...

#MC's Videos #category: episode summaries #category: salt #video: critique #MC's Renders #render: persona #episode: Sentibubbler #((Definitely let me know what you guys think because I don't know if I should do this more or not.)) #((Judging from what the response is will help me make a decision on it.)) #((I know my editing could be a little better but my video editor has been physically fighting me lately.)) #((Is there such a thing as TOO sassy/sarcastic?)) #((idk if I'm actually funny or not so definitely lemme know if there was anything that particularly amused you guys)) #((so I know in the future where your guys' sense of humor lies.)) #((I don't really TRY to be funny I just do whatever comes to mind/is comfortable.))

[thefeelswhale]

Here is some Izuku POV in the fic formerly known as 'untitled Shindeku Soulmates AU'

The Nervous Energy in Everything - Part 2

There was no hiding what had happened when Izuku stumbled in his front door that night reeking and reeling from what was simultaneously the worst and best day of his life. 

Best because he’d met All Might.

Worst because he’d almost died.

Best because All Might was going to help him become a hero.

Worst because… Kacchan.

Best because the gentle touches on his chest he’d been getting all day and all the feelings that came with it; wonder, gratitude, pleased embarrassment, and hope.

He and Kacchan had found each other in daycare of all places. The teacher hadn’t realized what was going on until they’d been made to let go of one another and she realized they had matching handprints encircling their wrists where they’d grabbed each other.

That was the last clear memory Izuku had of his first soulmate voluntarily touching him or their marks. Obviously they’d gotten along like normal soulmates for a while, but then Izuku’s quirk never appeared and Kacchan started to change. 

Izuku’s mom looked up from her crossword as Izuku dropped some fliers he’d picked up out of the recycling bin onto the kitchen floor so he could put his grimy backpack down somewhere without making a mess.

“Izu!” Her hands flew over her nose and mouth. “Is… is that smell coming from you?”

“There was a villain attack.” He didn’t really want to explain. He was already going to have to, especially once he stood up and turned around so she could see what had happened to his face. “There was a hero nearby. I’m okay, but…”

He felt her hands on his shoulders as she turned him around. “You need to cha…oh my goodness gracious!” His mom broke off mid sentence as she saw the two new handprints framing his face. 

They were symmetrical at least. His new soulmate had big hands and the thumbprints landed just below his eyes, framing his freckles between his soulmate’s thumb and forefingers. If you had to have a face mark then it wasn’t a bad one to have.

“Izuku.” Her lip wobbled. “What happened?”

“Kacchan…” Izuku couldn’t make himself form the words. Part of him could still feel the bond snapping; like he was caught in that moment and couldn’t quite push through it. “...he went too far today and I can’t... I couldn’t… I just stopped...” That was about as far as he got before being pulled into a hug.

It had been years since he’d been wanted by his own soulmate. He and Kacchan had been platonic even when they’d still liked one another and even after things had gone sour on them Izuku never had quite been able to give up on the idea that the confident little kid he remembered was still in there somewhere. 

He hadn’t known where his own limits were until that afternoon.

“It’s okay, sweetheart. You held on for so long.” She started to kiss his cheek and then veered off to kiss his temple at the last minute when she realized she couldn’t do that anymore. “It’s okay. Do they… do they seem nice?” She frowned. “Are they okay? Did they feel what happened --with the villain, I mean?”

It was hard to say. Izuku had gone to a lot of trouble not to trigger their connection after he’d gotten loose from the sludge villain. He hadn’t felt anything beyond the odd touch, as though his soulmate was checking to make sure he was still there. They wouldn’t feel much from his end unless he was touching his mark.

‘I should check in with them.’ He realized. He was almost positive they hadn’t felt the attack or his panic when Kacchan ended up getting attacked. 

“Mom, I smell.” He gently disengaged himself from the embrace.

“You sure do” She wrinkled her nose. “Go change and take a bath. I’ll call the registry to update your profile while I see if that uniform can be saved. Oh, um. Do you have an idea of where… you know.”

“It’s their chest.”

“Oh!” She looked surprised. “It must be another boy then.” She giggled as he stared. “Even in a fugue I can’t imagine you being able to touch a girl’s chest without fainting. Remember that time…”

“Aaaaahh!” Izuku clamped his hands over his ears because she was going to try and remind him of the time he tripped and fell on Aunt Mitsuki. “No I do not! I do not remember any time ever and I’m leaving now!”

Izuku ran the bathtub heater while he washed himself harder than he had ever done before. The odor of sewers lingered even after he lathered up three times. After a certain point he wondered if it was in his head. He ended up dumping a bunch of his mom’s bath salts into the water before he got in to soak. Izuku wasn’t a fancy bath person, but smelly times called for smelly measures.

His soulmate tapped him again as he sank into the bath and Izuku finally felt calm enough that he wasn’t afraid he’d overwhelm them with his haywire emotions if he tapped back. 

Izuku carefully brushed his knuckles along the thumbprints on the apples of his cheeks and got an immediate response; like a palm pressed against his sternum searching for his heartbeat. 

He sank into the water up to the bridge of his nose with his eyes shut. This was new territory for him. Kacchan had started wearing covers in grade school so they didn’t get even accidental touches. They hadn’t explored their bond much before that and afterwards… well, Izuku had gotten used to being alone in his head.

Sometimes he’d wondered if Kacchan even had a soulmark under that cover anymore; if his side of their connection had broken long before Izuku’s had. He was uncomfortably sure he had his answer. Losing his bond with Kacchan had hurt like being punched in the stomach only worse, but Kacchan hadn’t reacted at all. It was like nothing had happened on his end at all.

In fact he’d been as confused as everyone else in the room when stuff started flowing out of his sleeve and a trembling Izuku pulled it back to reveal naked skin where he’d once been marked; seconds before he felt two phantom hands frame his face, soothing away all the pain and confusion with a radiant joy unlike anything he’d felt before. 

It was like someone had been waiting for him and he didn’t quite know what to do with that. 

That other presence was equally at sea and kept coming back to their connection as if they didn’t quite trust it not to vanish. 

Maybe they didn't. People without soulmarks existed. They were about as popular as people without quirks and probably trusted unexpected fortune about as much as Izuku did.

He rubbed his cheeks again and tried to remember how to deliberately transmit specific emotions through the bond. It had been so long since he’d had to manage a connection that he almost didn’t remember how to do it, but he didn’t want to share his hurt. He’d spent all his time as a soulmate feeling unwanted and burdened by Kacchan’s bad moods. Happiness. He could do that, right? Or maybe relief?

“Izuku?” His mom tapped at the door. “I’m sorry to interrupt, but I heard back from the Bond Registry. They think they’ve identified your new soulmate. Do you want to meet him?”

“What? Now?” Izuku’s voice cracked on ‘now.’

“Ah, his parents would like to meet up as soon as possible.” His mom hmmmed as she chose her words. “I think; yes, now. Are you up to it? You were attacked today and we haven’t even spoken to the police.”

Izuku was already out of the tub and drying off as fast as he dared. “Um, yes!” He realized he hadn’t brought a change of clothes in with him. “Mom, I forgot clothes!”

She chuckled. “I’ll bring you something. You get started on your hair, dear.”

Curly hair was no joke when it came to washing it. Drying it and styling it was a whole other story. If he could get away with it, Izuku would have buzzed it all down to a half inch like his dad only he’d tried that once before. His head ended up looking like a beach ball balanced on a toothpick. The teasing he’d gotten at school over it was brutal. 

There was no way he was getting out the door without looking like he’d stuck his tongue in an outlet. 

His mom had her cellphone caught between her shoulder and ear as she brought him jeans and his navy polo shirt.

“...no, I don’t mind hosting.” His mom was saying. He could hear her through the door as she walked down the hall. “I’d prefer it, to be honest…”

Meanwhile Izuku was staring at a bottle of Issey Miyake cologne he’d gotten for his birthday two years ago and had never worn before. He barely even shaved. Was this really the time to experiment?

Wait.

Had his mom just said they were coming here?

#shinsou x midoriya #shindeku #soulmates #The Nervous Energy in Everything #BNHA #erasermic

[ophezio]

yes, i think harry and luna makes more sense than harry and ginny. hear me out

ok so before any hinny shippers get me, please hear me out. a lot of points might be unjustified but only because jk rowling is a shit written and wrote a lot of horrible tropes. but anyways, let’s continue.

let me start off with harry as a character. harry has always been rather opposed to the fame he receives, and hates when people pay him attention only for the purpose of him being The Boy Who Lived. he always feels rather shut off from the world, even though he clearly has people on his side. you can tell he wishes everyone would just look past his legacy and see him for him. hermione and ron do that most of the time, but still do fall into the trap of seeing The Boy Who Lived first. a lot of people do, and it’s quite understandable as that’s the first thing you notice about harry. but anyways harry is just a boy who wants nothing but to been seen as anything but that. moving on to his personality, he’s very hotheaded and very opinionated, and never lets his opinions falter. he of course has a lot of built up anger over the way people have treated him his whole life. he struggles with people just not understanding him the way he longs for someone to. he wants to seen as an ordinary dude who has emotions just like anyone else, simple as that.

now let’s look at ginny as a character. ginny is a very nice girl who’s an enjoyable person to be around. she’s confident, outgoing, funny, and can bring a good energy to room as all eyes automatically go to her. she’s quite popular as she’s extremely pretty, automatically pushing her up the food chain of hogwarts. also, being on the quidditch team helps with the popularity. so naturally, attention follows her. she’s your stereotypical perfect-girl, which isn’t at all a bad thing as most stories need that girl. the one thing i will say that bugs me about ginny is her judgefulness, especially when it came to fleur. now of course this is just plainly jk rowling’s internal misogyny and pick-girl writing style, but it still is ginny, unfortunately. ginny feels like a person who can be quick to judge a situation for what it is rather than accessing it first. and that isn’t exactly a positive trait.

ginny and harry definitely have a lot of similarities and get along extremely well. they both love quidditch, both are hotheaded and opinionated, and overall have a lot of the same personality traits. most importantly, they share the trauma of being controlled and tormented by voldemort. this is a very big thing to share in common, and is most likely why harry can confide in ginny. but, all the similarities can create a dynamic where they butt heads a lot as you do when someone is so similar to yourself. i know personally when i meet people who are a lot like me, we tend to butt heads more often than not. i can definitely get along with those people though, and have great friendships. it’s just anything beyond that wouldn’t work in my opinion. and that’s why harry and ginny sometimes makes me scratch my head a bit. harry and ginny did work in the books because they were always written to be together. but if we think from a realistic standpoint, it wouldn’t have worked at all. similar trauma would definitely create a bond, but now in a way that could be romantically. you are welcome to disagree all you’d like, but i just simply can wrap my head around it.

moving onto luna as a character. luna is a very freeing character who does as she pleases and doesn’t let others people’s harsh opinions affect her and her hobby’s. people have always talked down on luna, and separated her based on what they see on the surface. they first see her as “loony lovegood” because it’s what their first reaction is. i can see at first seeing her as a bit odd, as she does talk about things that are out of the ordinary. but if you look beyond that, she’s so much more. she’s extremely intelligent (hence the ravenclaw), and has such an open mind that anything seems possible to her. with having such an open mind, she’s willing to see situations as they truthfully are, and would never wrongfully judge as she never enjoys when it happens to her. she listens to people, because she knows she’d appreciate if people listened to her. with this comes her calming demeanor that could especially help when someone’s in a state of panic or is just riled up. luna is a very fluid character who can very relaxing to be around.

harry and luna would more realisticly work, in my personal opinion. if they had been written to be together from the start, more people would agree with any opinions regarding harry and luna. but jk rowling being the shit writer she is, she would rather see the main character get together with the perfect girl with seemingly no flaws on the surface, rather than the girl who clearly does have flaws but is more realistic. ginny was written as jk rowling’s projection, clearly representing what she so desperately wanted to be. if she had just written characters as they should be, ginny would an even better character than she already is.

but anyways, harry and luna. harry and luna relate on many different that in the long run matter a lot more than you might realize. harry and luna have always been objectified for things they have no control over. harry for being The Boy Who Lived, and luna for being herself. they’ve both been on the receiving ends of weird stares and harsh words. hogwarts has seemingly created a lot more problems for them than anything, yet they still manage to find more redeeming qualities than anything. especially with found families. harry and luna both know what’s it like to lose a parent, and what that sort of thing does to you. no one else they know have gone through that, making it hard to connect with others on that level. they’re able to understand each other, and sympathize for each other without it being pity because they know how it feels. and i think this shows when luna comforts harry after sirius dies. she knows the feeling, and makes harry feel known and understood, something he constantly needs from people. he needs people to see him on a personal level, and see him beyond his fame, and see him as harry, a ordinary boy who has just had unfortunate things happen to him. i think luna really gets that feeling, hence why she’s able to make harry feel more comforted about sirius’s death. luna generally has a calming effect, and it works extremely well for harry, who desperately needs a person capable of doing that. luna can see straight though him, and can sense when he’s feeling down and lying about being fine. not many people tell him they can see through him, rather just believing when he says he fine and leaves it alone. luna is very straightforward, and sometimes harry does need that. yet she doesn’t pry for information. she’ll tell him she knows he’s not fine, but she’ll let it go rather that press on him for details. harry is always appreciative of people who don’t pry for details, but when someone can see past your facade yet still give you the space you need, it helps a great deal. especially someone like harry who is only ever looked at from the surface. he’s seen as an object rather than a person. but luna never does that. luna never looks at him as The Boy Who Lived, she looks at him like he’s an normal boy who she just happens to go to school with. harry can talk to luna with fear of being seen just for fame, and can obviously talk to luna without being bothered. people generally avoid luna, and realistically, harry would find comfort in that. harry enjoys when he escapes the fame, and can be normal. luna is one of few people he can be like that with. hence why i would assume harry finds more comfort in that than what’s written in the book. i always take everything in those books with a grain of salt, and this is one thing that i think otherwise on. if these books were more better written, harry would naturally find comfort in someone he can lay low with and find peace with. someone who understands him and wouldn’t turn their back on him. luna is that person. all throughout the books, luna is constantly standing behind harry, never for one second leaving him behind. in the 5th book, she reassures harry that she certainly believes harry and has no reason not to. she also helps harry tell people his truth by putting his interview with rita skeeter in the quibbler. that’s a very important thing for harry, as not many people would be willing to do that big of thing for him, especially during that period of everyone accusing him of being a liar. luna also constantly stands behind harry in the 6th and 7th books. she asks a lot of times if the DA will ever meet again, showing she’s willing to meet again if harry ever speaks the words. after almost getting caught the previous, people might not want to return to the DA so willinging as luna seems to. and in the 7th book, she stands behind him too, comforting him when dobby dies, casting those patronuses when seen harry in danger, and when she offered to cause a distraction so harry could get some privacy after the final battle.

luna is a very strong support system, and never falters her support. this is very important for someone like harry, who a lot of times gets a nagging feeling that people are going to leave him, which is understandable for the life he’s lived. luna is the definition of a ride or die. now an argument i see a lot is harry wouldn’t be good enough for luna. if we look at it canon wise, then yes, i might agree. but that’s simply because he wasn’t written to be romantically involved with luna, hence why it does seem he would be not be good enough for her. if he had been written to be interested in her, it would appear totally different. i mean canon does show us he does care for her and doesn’t think poorly of her. he clearly always appreciates her kind gestures, and he clearly enjoys her presence enough to invite her along to the slughorn christmas party. he wouldn’t have invited her if he didn’t like and care for her, simple as that. if a romance was written and developed between them, things would look a lot better than they do when we look at canon. i personally hate most canon things, so i simply ignore certain canon aspects a lot of times. most importantly being harry being an auror and settling down with ginny. the auror part being because he doesnt like attention from a lot of people, and isn’t ever really shown to be enjoying fighting dark wizards. personally if i had been hunted down by dark wizards my whole life i wouldn’t go into a profession where i’d often be fighting them, but that’s just me i guess. and settling down with ginny just for the fact that usually high school sweethearts don’t make it far out of high school, and i also don’t see ginny wanting to settle down so early in her life. like c’mon, does ginny weasley honestly seem like the type to settle down at the age of 22 or 23? not really. ginny wouldn’t willing give up a professional quidditch career for some kids, let’s be real here. in a most realistic setting, i see harry laying low for a while, living a peaceful life where he doesn’t have to have people constantly prodding him because of his fame. and luna obviously would never settle down early either. they’re similar in that retrospect, and had they been together, would probably live in a cottage where they don’t have many neighbors. i also see them traveling and just enjoying the peacefulness of seeing new things and finding the joy in the simple things. it’s something that would be so important for harry and could truly help with his recovery, because him not having any mental health problems is so painfully unrealistic. and luna would be wonderful for improving his mental health, as she understands him and can see straight through him. also, she’d bring him out of his comfort zone into things he’d never though he’d find himself doing, but enjoying nonetheless. he needs someone to bring out a different side to him, and show him all the different possibilities life has to offer, people i can easily see harry have troubling with seeing the light in life after everything he’s been through.

i’m definitely rambling at this point so let me conclude : i love ginny to pieces, she’s one of my absolute favorite characters. but with the careless way she was written, and the unrealistic terms in which her and harry’s relationship was written under, i can’t help but see harry and luna being a more realistic match.

#harry potter #luna lovegood #harry x luna #ginny weasley #harry potter ships #harry potter opinions #character study #character analysis #opinions #discourse

[marshvlovestv]

Zero Time Dilemma: Q-Team and Personality Disorders

(I’m not going to tag any of the disorders mentioned here even though I did that last time, because a. I feel bad about clogging up people’s tags with fandom nonsense and b. someone decided to be not-nice about it on my last post and it really affected me in a negative way. But if anyone is at all interested in learning more about these disorders, absolutely check out the tags for them here on Tumblr. They are full of people talking about their personal experiences and trying to bust stigmas. Obviously don’t let that be the be-all and end-all of your research, but it’s a good starting point.)

I’ve made it no secret that I love Eric, and to a lesser extent Mira, and that I ship the two of them with undue passion. I don’t find their relationship romantic, I would never want a relationship that looks like theirs, and I certainly don’t think either of them are good people. But I find both of them and their dynamic very interesting - it’s fun to think about and it’s fun to write.

Recently I have been very into researching personality disorders because I might have avoidant personality disorder (self-dx, but I’m looking into getting a formal diagnosis) . And because I tend to conceptualize a lot of things using fiction, I can’t help but see the traits of these PDs in fictional characters. I think that Eric and Mira both suffer from personality disorders, and that just makes me like and sympathize with them even more.

This is going to be a long and rambly post so I’m going to put the bulk of it under a Read More. There’s no real structure here, it’s just a bunch of thoughts. And big old disclaimer, I’m trying to be as sensitive as I possibly can be but I am by no means an expert on anything I’m talking about here. Take it all with a grain of salt.

Everyone goes “Eric is so annoying, Eric is so useless” and all I can think is that everyone is full of shit if they don’t think they would act the same way if they were trapped in a death game. I look at Eric and think that he’s the only realistic character in the entire series because “LOL that’s so me, I would totally be panicky and whiny and unhelpful if I was in that situation.” But now I’m thinking, maybe that is unique to me. Maybe what I recognize in Eric is not what is typical to most people and is actually the anxiety and self-doubt of a cluster C personality disorder.

My headcanon is that Eric has dependent personality disorder, a cluster C disorder characterized by fear of abandonment, feelings of helplessness and incompetence, acting passive, submissive, or clingy, and an overreliance on others to make important decisions. I also considered borderline personality disorder, which pairs that same fear of abandonment with an inability to regulate one’s emotions; Eric's emotions are certainly volatile enough to be a result of BPD, but I also definitely see in him the helplessness of DPD. Hell, maybe he has both. I don’t see why that can’t be possible. (I also don’t think it’s fair to read too much into expressing emotional extremes during, I repeat, a literal death game, but whatever.)

Here’s a pretty comprehensive list of Eric’s traits that I think are consistent with DPD:

1. Rarely helping with puzzles, even completely relying on Sean (a child, as far as he knows) to solve them in Pop-Off.

2. A preoccupation with pleasing or impressing Mira, even though they’ve already been dating for a while (complimenting her at every opportunity, trying to prove his manliness in Radical-6, changing his vote to match hers during the coin toss).

3. Projecting incompetence so strongly that Mira immediately noticed it when they first met.

4. His constant smiling, a way to show submission that was imposed upon him by both of his parents. (I do think that what his mother told him was fucked up, no matter her positive intentions - let your son express his negative emotions, ma’am! Otherwise he’s gonna bottle them up, and, well, we all saw what that leads to!)

5. Accepting mistreatment from the person he’s most attached to (marrying Mira despite knowing full well that she has murdered him in multiple alternate timelines; in Triangle, he actually encourages her to do it!)

6. Shooting himself in one ending, crucially one where Mira has died (of the cluster C disorders, suicidality is most common in DPD).

So yes, Eric does some awful things that can’t be explained by mental illness, and there are genuine reasons for fans to dislike him. But some of the reasons people give as to why they hate him - his lack of confidence, how he acts in ways that make him seem kind of dumb, the fact that he *checks notes* loves his girlfriend too much? Really, that’s a reason not to like him? - just read to me like someone suffering in a way that people find unacceptable. They are the things that make me relate to him and sympathize with him the most.

As for Mira, I won’t delve as deep into her disorder because it’s basically canon and I don’t think I need to justify it. It’s all but directly stated that she has antisocial personality disorder - specifically, the ableist Hollywood version of ASPD that turns you into an emotionless serial killer. (Kotaro Uchikoshi loooves this trope, btw; it showed up in AI: The Somnium Files, too. “There’s something so wrong with his brain that the only way he can feel pleasure is by killing.” Fuck off.). There are a couple things I learned that also make this diagnosis problematic: for one, all personality disorders, ASPD included, almost always stem from some kind of trauma, and unlike Eric, we don’t have any evidence of trauma in Mira’s past (although it’s not like we know everything about her - where’s her father in all this? There might be a story there). Secondly, ASPD can’t be diagnosed in people under 18, but Mira showed clear and extreme symptoms when she was as young as 9 or 10. I can chalk that up to a lack of research on the writer’s part, though.

It’s really hard to paint her as a victim of her own mind when she’s murdered several people, but interestingly enough, the ending of ZTD manages to offer an opportunity to do so. It’s implied that, by resonating with the espers in order to SHIFT, Mira is fundamentally changed in some way, judging by the fact that she willingly marries Eric and seems to care about him and how when she sees Sean, she offers him a genuine smile and it’s noted that she doesn’t have to fake it anymore. Now, the idea of a mental disorder being totally cured, even with a little bit of sci-fi magic, is unrealistic and ableist in itself. But the way I like to interpret this change is not as her being cured of her disorder; rather, I like to think that what she was cured of was in fact the harmful stereotype, and that now she will function as an average, realistic person with ASPD would.

I’ve written a handful of fanfics about Eric and Mira, and although so far they’ve mostly been porn with minimal exploration of their personalities, I want to do more careful character studies in the future. One of my fics, titled Family Planning, does already dip into the concept I just mentioned. It takes place post-game, but Mira still unambiguously has ASPD: she has low empathy, she’s plagued by ennui, and she acts recklessly. All that she’s really been “cured” of is her urge to kill. I hadn’t done a ton of research into the disorder when I wrote Family Planning and I definitely made mistakes (I tagged it with “Psychopathy,” for example, which I now know is considered an offensive term), but it is still one of my favorite things I’ve written recently and representative of the direction I want to go in with future fics. I want to write about them showing symptoms of and coping with their respective disorders and explore the way a relationship between two people with two different PDs might develop. Despite any possible pitfalls and the, uh, less than romantic reason their relationship started, ultimately I think that with more open communication between them (and both of them finally getting some therapy), Eric and Mira are capable of understanding each other better than others might be.

And I think that’s beautiful.

#zero escape #zero time dilemma #eric ztd #mira ztd #suicide tw #ableism tw

[sasa-gay-yo]

Nice Side -Levi Ackerman - 200 Follower Special

Levi Ackerman - AoT - Fluff - “Be careful. Your nice side is showing.”

Warning: Slight mention of smut

❀ღ✦❁♡ッ✽❀ꕤღ✦♡❁✽ッ✧❀

Captain Levi had it about here with you and Hange’s constant teasing. Day in and day out, he would sit, three times a day, next to your asses, breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and would have to fight for his life in front of the cadets. Hange and you knew how much it annoyed him, and you thrived off of it. At first, it was because you realized how flustered Levi got with anything that you said. While Hange was slap-happy comedic relief, you were the sexual-nuanced type. Levi just didn’t know how to deal with that like he could Hange and it was cute to hear him stutter just for you. Then it became addicting seeing him act like that just because of a few sentences. Seeing him blush, cough to cover his laughs or groans, and not being able to look you in the eyes while you peered at him across the table fueled you even more.

“Are you blushing right now?” You said loud enough for the closest table of cadets to hear. You heard the boys snicker. He glared at you harshly, but it didn’t affect you because Captain Levi’s cheeks were, in fact, tinted a little red.

“Stop talking to me, you nasty woman,” he muttered under his breath, referring to the comment you made about how it was the silent ones who were always the dirtiest. The topic of conversation at the officer’s table somehow always got to the track of sex, and this time it was because Hange just had a recent experience they deemed funny enough to share with the world. It had to deal with some bondage-gone-wrong situation, and while Hange, Miche, and Erwin laughed, you noticed how strongly Levi was staring at you. So, you asked him directly, knowing all too well Levi’s rope habits in the bedroom. Not only did you constantly tease him at the officer’s lunch table, but you also did it when you fell asleep in his arms at night, unknown to literally everyone else.

No, you see, what got Levi the most wasn’t that you teased him in general, it was the fact that it hinted so closely to your secret relationship that he was always shocked when things like that came out of your mouth. At one point, you were talking to Hange about your experimentation with bondage, everyone listening in not knowing that Levi was the other party involved. You were embarrassing him, and if anyone found out he would jump in a hole and stay there forever.

“Oh, come on, we all know Captain Levi devotes himself to his work. No time for play.” Erwin said, trying to save his friend from your attacks. Honestly, that made it even worse for him because you just laugh, smirk covering your face.

“You’re right, Commander. I haven’t seen you even look in the direction of a woman, Captain.” He glared again, and I just scrunched up my nose back at him. We were both Captains, so he couldn’t do anything.

“I’m sorry I’m not such a succubus like you, Captain.” You smiled, resting your head in one arm and leaning forward to get close to him. He knew from your look it was over for him and he was already thinking of how to recover.

“You think I’m a succubus, Captain? How nice. Do you want to find out?” It was seductive, knowing the way it would influence his feelings, and even Hange whistled at your tone. The other officers laughed, but a few cadets behind you, obviously Jean and Connie, whispered a bit too loud for the Captain’s liking.

“Shoot, if Captain won’t take her offer…” You looked at them out of the corner of your eye, having heard their comments over the roaring laughter of the officer’s table.

“I mean,” Jean began, “She can’t be saying all of these sexual things out loud thinking we won’t want to.” You saw Levi’s eyes go to them too, and he physically tensed up. You tapped him with your foot under the table a bit after, the conversation flowing to something about food, but he shook you off. A moment later, he stood up and walked out, and you noticed his distress. Something had been said that he didn’t like and you knew it had to be the cadet’s comments, but you couldn’t go chasing after him when everyone was looking.

It was almost an hour after the incident that Erwin was walking you back to the officer quarters. The other squads had a late-night meeting before the officers met for debrief, and you dismissed yours early before dinner, so it was just you and Erwin able to head back. You two got into a heated conversation as well, all about the possibility of other places outside the walls. You thought it to be slightly absurd because how would they not have contacted you already? He thought the titans would be a deterrent and maybe they’ve already tried. He talked about a sea, and you’ve heard Armin Arlet mention it too. It was too outside of the realm of your comprehension to think about. You were a “let’s focus on killing the titans” and not a “future without titans” kinda thinker.

“I just think we would’ve found it by now. I mean, I know we don’t go really far on expeditions, but if this sea, or whatever, is filled with salt wouldn’t we be able to smell it in the wind?” He crossed his arms and looked up at the ceiling.

“Hm, well, I have to get to that part, but I know I’m right.” You rolled your eyes at him, hitting his arm lightly. You couldn’t help your personality. You were relatively open to anyone on the Scouts, and regardless, you were a touchy person in general. Everyone knew that. When the new cadets or even regular Scouts were spiraling after the death of a comrade, they would come to your office and end up destressing while you held them. Erwin was one of these people too, and Levi hated the fact that you did this. He couldn’t protest because no one knew to not lay hands on you, but it didn’t hurt any less.

But, again, he didn’t tell you this. He watched down the hallway as you and Erwin were laughing together, your hand on his arm. Levi’s one hand wrapped around the doorknob of his office, fingers turning white. Erwin noticed this too, feeling the harsh glare digging into his skin. You were too wrapped up and trying to convince him about the salt smell that you didn’t notice.

“Someone’s jealous,” Erwin mumbled, not really directed towards anyone, but you gave him a confused look before turning your head to lock eyes with Levi who was going back into his office. Shit. You knew that look. You turned back to Erwin, trying to cover up for Levi and to keep secrecy, but he held his hand up.

“I know. Go make him happier before tonight’s meeting, Captain. That’s an order... and next time remember that my office shares a wall with Captain Levi’s bedroom.” 

You opened to door to his office, and he was hunched over a pile of paperwork you knew was due in a few days. He wouldn’t normally be doing paperwork unless it was the night it was due. He also didn’t even look up at you or sit up to give you space to sit on his lap. Because of this, you had to shove your way onto his lap putting your arms around his neck. You knew he wasn’t mad at you, but he was still annoyed with the two circumstances one right after the other. He wouldn’t tell you either, but he was insecure. Why him? You two were so different in personality, but you chose him over everyone else.

“Can I help you?” He groaned as you moved your head between his arms, trying to get him to look at you. He diverted his gaze.

“Can I help you?” You asked, and he shrugged. If Levi had his way, he would just ignore this and move on in a few days, but you never let him. He already had so many other emotions bottled up and pushed into the back of his mind, you wouldn’t let him have anymore.

“Go see if Erwin needs some help with his paperwork.” You let out a small chuckle, not trying to discount his feelings, and then put your hands on either side of his face, pulling him to finally look at you. There was insecurity in his eyes and yours softened.

“I don’t want to be with Erwin. Or Jean. Or anyone else other than you, Levi. You’re the only one for me.” He paused for a second, looking right in your eyes, trying to search for even a speck of insincerity.

“Why?” He whispered and you instantly took him into your arms. You felt him let out a deep breath, knowing that those were the emotions he was holding in since dinner. His muscles also started relaxing into you.

“Because of your strength. Your leadership. Your fearlessness. Your loyalty. You also have a cute butt and it’s nice to look at during training session. Why do you think I make my team train behind you?” He let out a huff in laughter, pulling one of his arms around your waist. Levi always needed just a little reassurance and you were happy to give it to him.

“Your intellect,” you gave him a peck on the cheek, “Your resolve,” forehead, “Your compassion,” tip of the nose. He just smiled at you and gave you a quick kiss on your lips to complete the circle.

“You’re so cute, I can’t stay mad at you when you act like this.” You laughed as he buried his head in your neck, tickling you with his free hand.

“Be careful. Your nice side is showing, Captain.” You could still feel his smile on your neck as he pressed tiny kisses on your skin. It made you giggle over and over, and it was music to Levi’s ears. That’s why he kept doing it. If he had to bear your incessant teasing so he could get moments like this, he guessed it wasn’t that bad.

“I only show my nice side around you, love.” You let out a little squeal as he pushed you to the edge of his legs, almost tipping you over onto the floor. You clung to him but still squirmed as his fingers attacked your sides. It was payback for earlier, but, again, he loved to hear your laughs. He’d do anything to hear it whenever, wherever. Your laughs rang so loud, and he was so hypnotized by them, that he didn’t hear the door open. 

“Huh! I knew it! They’re in love! Everyone! Captain Levi and Captain-” 

“-Hange!” 

❀ღ✦❁♡ッ✽❀ꕤღ✦♡❁✽ッ✧❀

#levi ackerman #levi ackerman x reader #levi x reader #levi ackerman scenario #levi attack on titan #levi fluff #AoT requests #AoT #aot x reader #attack on titan x reader #snk x reader #shingeki no kyojin #shingeki no kyoujin levi #captain levi #sasa2020

[sunflowerdigs]

So, I did a little sarcastic-y review from the salt mines for RNM 3x09. Warnings for excessive sodium content, Maribel mourning, a desire to recycle cardboard, and, of course, Malex opinions. Without further ado:

- Every time Michael smiles I forget for like 5 whole seconds how much I hate that Malex keeps me shackled to this show. Too cute that he brought Alex lunch (and probably hoped he could sneak a glimpse of him) and they're going on their first date (omg omg omg).❤❤❤❤❤

- Kyle should yell at people more. Starting with his garbage friends who left him in a barn without proper triage or jello cups while he was in a coma (why didn't they just keep him at DS if he's having appointments there anyway? Nevermind... ). Alas, he's starting his understandable rage tour with Uncle Edgelord, who, naturally, makes a dramatic statement and tries to leave. I am so glad Kyle called him on that.

- Delmanes would be cute if Greg didn't have the personality of cardboard. They've created a character who is actually only here to remind us of how special and amazing Maria is. Turns out that's not super interesting. And it's so painfully obvious that it's a pair-your-spares situation. I really wish they'd just give her Kyle, he has the patience of a saint. Anyway, Isobel's pigtails are cute af (rip my Isobel/Maria/Kyle heart - I would have taken Isobel interrupting Delmanes and Heather's post with pigtails today as signs if not for genetics).

- Anatsa and Isobel's development seems to have taken place completely off-screen, like everything else gay on this show, so I'm guessing it's gonna stick. Honestly...I guess this is controversial but Isobel and Maria have really good chemistry and a history. I know their bond is supposed to read "sibling" but it doesn't for me. And rather than waste time watching them flirt with these one-note (ah, Greg chimes in right on time with a convenient line any rando could have delivered) LIs, I'd much rather see them get closer. The whole related thing has thrown a wrench into it for me. That said, it's nice to watch a woman be encouraged to go after another woman. 🎉

- Alex the sci-fi/fantasy nerd figuring out immediately that the hallucination is his own subconscious is 100% legit. Much like Kyle not letting his uncle pull a classic tall-dark-and-broody exit, I appreciate Alex's 4th-wall break moment.

- Not Max and Liz proving that discussions about s2 drama can occur on Roswell New Mexico?! What? Must be a straight thing. Lucky them.

- Isobel is actually acting a lot like Sherlock Holmes when he's on a case, from the wardrobe to the focus, and it's hot. Also, totally believable that Isobel would be able to pull up that pod from under the ice because we know she's been training even if it didn't happen onscreen. Because she told us. Just a suggestion.

- I love the idea of Jim Valenti as a double-agent, but I don't see how Eduardo thought he could keep Kyle safe by never knowing him. It feels like there's a lot more here Eduardo isn't saying.

- It wasn't a sister-fight that Maria and Isobel had, but whatever (no one got physically shoved or brought up a horrifying memory from 100000 years ago to shove in someone's face in public - doesn't count).

- Also, why would you waste a glass by throwing it into the fireplace? Wouldn't it just explode back in your face? Man, the show is trying so hard with Maria and Greg, I want to give them some kind of romance-novel award for effort (but not success).

- Not Liz and Max showing us that it's possible to move forward by discussing your past mistakes like adults instead of pretending they didn't happen!? What? Must be a straight thing. Lucky them.

- Draw a line on the bottle? No way, Valenti, he obviously wants you to chuck that whole thing straight into the fire in a fit of passion to prove that his words had an emotional impact.

- Also, Kyle wins the prize for this episode for that speech to Uncle Edgelord. Everyone go home. When do I get a Kyle and Alex spin-off where they travel the world, defying sci-fi tropes and seducing beautiful men and women?

- Not Liz and Max talking loudly about aliens while breaking and entering! This one is actually very believable, I take it back.

- It was idiotic of Liz to trust Heath. And Echo keep having this same fight because MAX IS RIGHT BUT THE SHOW WON'T LET HIM BE. Which is so obnoxious. I would forgive Liz for almost any sin (like, idk, getting a better romantic storyline because she's straight) because she's gorgeous and smart and tough and I wanna go live with her and her mad scientist energy on a deserted island somewhere. But she's being real dumb rn.

- I love the t-shirt and if Vlambase doesn't sell one I will. But he couldn't have held up a radio and blasted some Barry White? I feel like that would have cleared everyone but Alex put of the building real fast. Also, what is time on Roswell NM? Was Alex just setting the alarm every so often for kicks? Does Eduardo really not check in on staff who are working with dangerous technology for days on end? Also, why is this entire plot happening over a single goddamn episode instead of two or more so that we can really feel Alex wasting away under the machine's influence? The reason this twist is at all surprising is also the entire plot's undoing - Alex's demeanor wasn't exactly one of a man obsessed (or an addict, tbh) in his last scene.

- Anyway, back to Rizzoli and Isles. I definitely am always super excited to hear the details of my sister's sex life. All the time. That is totally a sister thing except where it's really not. Do any of these writers actually have a sister? I feel like they must because the Michael/Max/Isobel sibling chemistry is always bang on but Maribel is just...flirty lady city. Oh, and look, the beard just showed up with coffee to cockblock - it really is R&I!

- Back to Alex's plot line, which, much like Isobel's coffee, is Express To-Go. He's become haggard and worn in the time it's taken Michael's mom to find a cute sweater in the void. Seriously, we wasted like 3 whole episodes where Alex was presumably sitting in DS twiddling his thumbs and now he's being worn down by the machine in a single episode? Why didn't this plot start back in episode 3 or 4? Like...look, I don't come on here to be an asshole. But I just really hope they're taking note of what worked this season and what didn't because HOLY PACING FIASCO BATMAN. Just because you're giving us Malex doesn't mean everything else can just be hot garbage (not the acting, Taylor's doing his best to sell this). Also, when did Alex put his leg back on? I have so many questions but they aren't the good kind, so Michael better ride in soon and save this mess.

- Regarding what Nora is saying, it's fine, it makes sense but the zero build up makes it completely ineffective. Alex is afraid he doesn't love enough - it would have been nice to see that over several episodes instead of just being told in a burst of sudden exposition but, you know. Nice straight things we can't have, I guess.

- If Michael and Alex want their relationship to "purr" they could, idk, talk through their past misunderstandings like people in relationships do. Or the show could keep throwing exposition bombs at them, idek.

- Are those empty toilet paper rolls inside the machine? I knew the CW was budget but come on...

- And we finally get the Heath connection and it's to our brand new trope-y character, Wise Old Black Man Dallas. It's surprising but only because the 4th alien didn't exist before this episode. So, good job.

Overall, not the worst episode of RNM ever. I only wondered why I watch this show maybe 3 times this episode. And Michael's enthusiasm for Alex was adorable.

#malex #roswell new mexico #review #rnm spoilers #3x09

[let-it-raines]

your wonder under summer skies (14/18)

Summer in Storybrooke, Maine means one thing for its residents: tourist season. This year, for Emma Swan and Killian Jones, it means relationships ending and friendships changing all the while they attempt to figure out just what their relationship is. It’s somewhere straddling the line between friends and lovers, and there’s no guarantee of a soft landing if they fall into new territory.

Rating: Mature

ao3: beginning | current

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-/-

This place is decidedly more cabin in the woods than Killian was expecting. Well, if the cabin in the woods was a bloody large cabin made for groups of people in Maine looking for a weekend away from their regular lives. When he looked at the link Anna sent him when they were planning this trip, he didn’t look past the specifics of price and how many bedrooms there were.

So when he pulled up and saw the two-story cabin with its wraparound porch and large, floor-to-ceiling windows nestled near a lake, he was a little taken aback. Mostly, though, he doesn’t understand how the owners of this place decided to make every wall wood paneling and for each damn piece of furniture to be made out of a log or pine or something that looks like it’ll put a splinter in his ass when he sits down.

Hell, he’s pretty sure that he’s going to turn the corner and there’s going to be animal heads hanging from the walls.

At least there’s sunshine and clear water and all of the food and alcohol that a man could ask for.

Or, well, that could be asked for by a joint bachelor and bachelorette party that Elsa and Liam wanted, the both of them insisting that they needed a weekend away and that it should be nothing like the beach…so naturally they’re spending it on a lake.

Anna seemed to think it was all a brilliant idea, and since she is so keen on planning things, he figured he’d let her do it instead of getting into arguments over it. Or, well, he might have been distracted when she called to talk about the trip because Emma was on her knees in front of him, and he wasn’t paying attention to anything other than the feel of her.

“Why do I feel like every time I turn a corner, a deer’s antlers or something are going to poke me in the eye?”

Killian chuckles and turns to Emma next to him. She’s got a large duffle bag hanging over her shoulder, and he doesn’t know what she packed, but it must be all of the contents of her closet.

“Because you probably will.”

“Okay,” Anna shouts as everyone keeps walking through the front door, chatting and dragging in suitcases and looking around, “I have had all of the bedrooms labeled. Elsa and Liam get the master, obviously. Mary Margaret and David have bedroom one on the first floor, and Kris and I will take bedroom two, which shares that bathroom. Will and Belle, bedroom three, which is at the end of the hall just down that way. Ariel and Eric, you have bedroom four, which is right at the top of the stairs and will share a bathroom with Ruby and Mulan’s room, which is bedroom five. The final room is, like, basically the attic. Emma and Killian, you guys get that one. It may or may not be the kids’ room, so don’t be surprised if there are bunk beds up there.”

“You’ve got to be shitting me,” Killian mutters. “Bunk beds? We’re twenty-eight. We don’t get our own regular beds?”

“Do any of the couples here want to give up their private rooms with big beds to go sleep in the attic in bunk beds so that Killian can have a queen mattress?” “For fuck’s sake,” Killian laughs, rolling his eyes at Anna, “the beds are fine. I simply wasn’t aware Emma and I were going to be punished for not having significant others.”

“Yeah,” Emma joins in, “we should get compensated in, like, first choice of food tonight.” “I think Elsa and I get that,” Liam says. “You two will be fine. I’m sure the beds will be comfortable, but Emma, lass, as someone who lives with Killian, you might want earplugs. He snores.”

“Liar.”

Liam shrugs, bright smile on his face. “Have some mercy on the poor girl, Killian. Try not to be too loud.”

Killian opens his mouth to keep protesting, but then he snaps it shut. There’s no point. He doesn’t snore, and Emma knows that. Why should he care if everyone else thinks he snores? He’s sure that half of the people in this room do anyways.

This is Liam’s weekend.

If he reminds himself that enough, maybe he won’t try to pick at everything Liam says and does, and they can all have a good time like they’re supposed to.

Even if he does have to sleep in a damn bunk bed.

Emma elbows his side. “I have ear plugs, but that was mostly because I was scared I’d have to sleep next to David and Mary Margaret.”

“Please don’t put that image in my head.”

“We’re in a cabin full of couples, KJ. How is the image not in your head?”

Killian groans and tilts his head back, and Emma laughs, nudging him again before adjusting her bag on her shoulder. “Come on. Let’s go put our stuff up. My legs are stiff from the drive, and I’m ready to go hiking.”

“Oh, that reminds me,” Anna squeals, “I have sunscreen and bug spray for everyone who forgot it. I’ll leave it in the kitchen. Let’s all meet up in half an hour, okay?”

“Anna is…very organized,” Emma sighs as everyone begins walking in different directions looking for their bedrooms. “I feel like she’s a very intense version of Mary Margaret.” “That’s exactly who she is,” Elsa laughs, walking next to Emma up the stairs, which leads them to a hallway with more wood paneling and more large, paneled windows. There are no animal heads yet, though, so Killian would count that as a win. “I think she wants everything to be so perfect for me that she’s taking it overboard. Plus, she’s used to working with all of these extravagant people, so this is kind of out of her wheelhouse. You’re just lucky my cousins couldn’t come this weekend, because that would make it even worse.”

“She’s doing a great job. With this and the wedding. I mean, the wood paneling here is a little much, but this is beautiful.” “Hey, I could have helped plan this,” Killian protests.

Liam, Elsa, and Emma all laugh at him.

“What?”

“If I was a betting man, I’d say the only thing you planned was the food and the alcohol.”

“And to that,” Killian laughs, “I’d say you were right. If I had gotten my say, I would have found a place with one more bedroom so that Emma and I weren’t sleeping in bunk beds while everyone else got normal rooms.”

“I mean, technically,” Elsa says, “I think there’s another bed in David and Mary Margaret’s room, but I think you two might be safer upstairs.”

They get to the end of the hallway where the master bedroom is, and Elsa and Liam tell them that they’ll see them in a few minutes before walking inside while he and Emma turn to find the spiral staircase that leads up to the attic. It’s beautiful, but it’s not exactly convenient when carrying luggage, but he and Emma manage to get their stuff upstairs without any kind of disaster.

“Those stairs would be horrible if you’re drunk. I feel dizzy just getting up here.”

“Aye,” he sighs, dropping his bag and looking around the room.

It’s small, just a set of chairs, a dresser with a television, and then, indeed, a set of bunk beds covered in red plaid bedding. In the center of the room is a round window, and when Killian looks out it, he has a direct view of the lake and all of the surrounding hills and trees.

He imagines none of the other rooms have a view like that.

“Wow,” Emma whistles, “a view like that will almost make you think the lake is better than the beach.”

“Never,” he laughs, looking at her to his side. “I like my salt water and my sand too much to ever give it up, but it is stunning.”

“I can’t wait to get to explore it. It’s so damn nice not to be working this weekend. I haven’t had an actual, multiple-day break in months, and I’m taking full advantage of it.”

Killian nods as he keeps looking out the window. He sees two people walk out onto the deck, and he believes it’s Ruby and Mulan. It’s hard to tell from here, but then one of them walks a little further out and he recognizes Ruby’s red shirt. They must be ready to go already. He needs to change into a different pair of shoes.

Turning around, Killian moves to grab his bag only to see the last seconds of Emma pulling down a sports bra. She’s in nothing but a pair of black shorts and a white sports bra, and dammit if she doesn’t drive him mad like this.

He’s grown to know the curves of her body more intimately than he ever thought he would, and that’s how he knows that she’s been running more this summer and that places where she was once soft are the slightest bit more firm and how he knows the way her skin has changed from a creamy white to a shade or two darker, all of her freckles showing up more and more.

It’s how he knows that if that’s all she’s wearing today, he’s going to struggle holding it together in front of all of their friends.

He doesn’t know what to do when it comes to Emma any longer.

He wants her all the damn time, but his traitorous mind keeps telling him that he wants her in a way that he hasn’t had her: where there are no rules or implications or anything even closely relating to the friends with benefits situation they’ve got going on.

Where Killian can get it out of his mind that Emma kisses him in greeting now, how she intertwines their fingers, how she finds a way to touch him even when they’re not alone. It’s subconscious, he thinks. She’s not doing it on purpose, not seeking him out like she would a boyfriend, but it’s still happening.

(It matters not he is also guilty of doing the same things.)

It’s messing with his mind, with his heart, with everything.

And all he knows is that he feels like he’s betraying her because what Killian feels for Emma is far more than friendship, and he has no idea how to deal with that without mucking it up.

Especially because he can’t seem to stop being with her.

Their first rule was to keep the friendship at the center of everything, to make sure that neither of them messed it up, and the more time that passes, the more time that he thinks he’s barreling them toward disaster.

But he can’t stop.

“You gonna just keep staring at me like that?” Emma teases as she ties a jacket around her hips.

“I don’t believe I was staring.”

She chuckles and saunters toward him until she’s standing toe to toe with him. Killian glances away from her face, but that only leads his gaze toward the top of her breasts and the freckle that seems to be calling him.

Not now, not now, not now.

“Oh, you definitely were.” Emma presses up on her toes and runs her lips across his jaw. God, this is another one of the things about her that drives him mad, and he has to focus all of his attention on his breathing to keep himself from becoming too aroused. “Later,” she whispers. “I really do want to go on this hike, and I’m not going to let you distract me, Jones.” “I thought you were the one distracting me.”

“Eh, it goes both ways.”

And then she’s pulling away with this bright, kind smile on her face, and he has no idea how she can go from seductive to friendly all within the span of five minutes.

“See you downstairs. I need to get Ruby to braid my hair, so I’m going to go ahead and go.”

“She’s out on the deck with Mulan.”

Emma nods, grabs her phone, and then walks out the door.

This weekend is going to be bloody torturous.

-/-

If Killian had to guess, he would say that David and Liam have gotten them lost somewhere in the middle of the woods despite the fact that they’re all following a trail.

Or, well, supposed to be following a trail.

At one point, Anna and Elsa got distracted by this flower bush, and once they veered off the path to look at it, wondering if they could get Elsa’s florist to change her bouquet arrangement, they all started veering on and off the path, especially since there are twelve of them out here on a trail that really only allows two people to walk side by side.

If someone had brought alcohol on the hike, he imagines at least half the group would be lying dead in a ditch by now.

Honestly, Will usually has a flask on him, but as far as Killian knows, he hasn’t pulled it out yet.

Damn.

Killian ignores David and Liam arguing and keeps looking ahead. Emma and Mary Margaret are directly in front of him, now leading the group, and he tries to focus on the ground instead of the way Emma’s ass is nearly on display from the way her shorts are riding up. She hasn’t paid him much attention since they started the hike, and he’s never been so thankful to be left alone, if only for a little while.

He hasn’t been able to run all week, and this is exactly what he needed, even if the quietness of nature is cancelled out by everyone talking.

“I’m not kidding,” Ruby chuckles. “It’s awful. I mean, I get it, these are teenagers who are getting away from their parents for a little while, but do they have to make out in booths that I have to clean? There are so many places they could go, places where I don’t have to look at them while I’m trying to do my job.”

“We’ve made out in those booths.”

“That’s different, and you know it.” “Why? Because you’re the one who is getting a little action?”

“Exactly.”

“Granny’s is a fucking popular make out spot,” Will adds in. “There’s the hallway that connects to the B and B, which has seen more action than Killian has all summer.”

“Oi,” Killian scoffs, turning around to stare Will down, “mind your own bloody business.”

“Sorry, mate. I couldn’t resist.”

“You know who I keep seeing there?” Will continues. “Neal Cassidy. I know he’s dating Tamara, but damn, you’d think they could go to one of their places every once in awhile.”

Killian cringes, nearly faltering in his step, and he finally looks up to Emma, who is simply continuing to walk.

Good. That’s good.

She told him that she was over Neal, that she’s letting it go, but you don’t love someone for that long and have them break your heart and not be affected when someone is talking about them.

“Will, shut up,” Belle hisses.

“Why do I need to – oh fuck,” he mutters. “I’m sorry, Emma. Please ignore me and that bloody wanker.”

“It’s fine,” Emma shouts back, not turning around. “Neal has nothing to do with me anymore. He can do what he wants as long as I don’t have to look at him while I’m eating my onion rings.”

“I’d never make you do that,” Ruby tells her. “I’ll kick him out.”

“Can you even do that?”

“Eh, I can try.”

“Look,” David interrupts, and they all stop to stare where he’s pointing. “There’s that damn split tree. That’s where we were supposed to be going.”

“How do you even know that?” Liam grumbles.

“Because I noticed it on the way up. We’ve been here before, so it we turn that way, it should take us back to the house.”

“Can’t we use our phones to check where we are?” Killian asks only to have both Liam and David glare at him. “Okay, okay,” he backtracks, holding his hands up, “I guess we’re not using technology to make our lives easier.”

By the time they’re back at the house, Killian’s skin has been kissed by the sun, his feet ache, and his stomach is growling with hunger. He could really go for a nap, but Kris offers to cook burgers for everyone down by the lake, so everyone grabs their swimsuits and some drinks and heads down to where the grill is.

Killian settles into one of the lounge chairs that’s set up down there, a bottle of water in hand, and leans back, wondering if napping outside would be possible, but then Liam starts blaring music over some speakers and he knows the nap is never going to happen.

“Hey,” Emma says as she plops down in the chair next to him, “why do you look like you’re about to fall asleep?”

“Because I desperately want to.”

“How are you tired?”

“Because, unlike someone, I drove us up here and could not nap in the car.”

Emma shrugs and curls her legs up in the chair before taking a long sip of her water.  “You make a good point, KJ. Do you think I’d get my hand slapped away if I went and got the bag of barbecue chips off the table before all the other food was ready?”

“Depends on if the picnic table guardian is looking over it or not.” Emma laughs and leans forward, looking over at the table. “David seems to be occupied staring at the grill being all macho man with Kris. I’ll be right back.”

And then she’s jogging over to the table, slowing down right before she gets there, and then grabbing the big bag of barbecue crisps before springing back over to him and sitting back down in her seat, dropping the crisps between them. David looks over at them, and Killian swears that he sees his eyes narrow, like he knows Emma took the crisps off the table.

“Sneaky, love.”

“I try. I don’t know why he does that at any event. It’s like he gets some weird high off of making sure no one gets too food, but the worst part is definitely the fact that he watches to see if people throw any uneaten food away.”

“It is rather odd, isn’t it?”

“It’s the worst is what it is.”

She leans over between them and opens the bag, grabbing a crisp and taking what he swears is the loudest bite in existence. David is likely about to look over at them and give them hell for it. The man is going to make a great father one day.

If only because he can monitor food better than anyone else in existence.

Killian leans back in his chair and settles down into it, closing his eyes. He stretches out his arm, his hand laying against the arm of the chair, and after a few moments of relative silence, he feels Emma’s fingers tracing over his forearm in soothing patterns that have a shiver running down his spin and settling in his stomach.

It feels so natural for her to do this, for him to let her do this, and he should stop it.

But he can’t, not now.

Soon. He’ll figure it out.

Soon.

“I’ve always liked this tattoo the best.”

“Hmm?”

“Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.” She traces the words inked into his skin as she says them out loud. “I don’t know. I just feel like it’s so fitting to have them mixed in with your scars.”

Killian fights with himself to keep his eyes closed, to keep himself from looking into Emma’s eyes. Not a lot of people get such unfiltered access to his scars, and yet here she is in the open tracing them and talking about them and yet again making him feel like maybe they’re not too bad.

“I mean,” she continues, “I like all of your tattoos. They always make me want to get more than my buttercup, but I really like this one.”

“Aye,” he sighs, deciding that just for today, he can let everything be. This is a good moment, and he’s not going to let his mind ruin it. Instead he’ll let Emma run her fingers over his hand and let her hold onto him for a few moments. “I am fond of that one as well. I am also fond of yours, though it is rather small.”

“What? Do you want me to get a giant one?”

“You should get one that covers your entire back.” “Shut up,” Emma laughs, digging her nails into him. “I am obviously not doing that. I don’t know what I’ll do, or if I ever will. I think I’ll just stick to liking yours.”

“I like that plan. Do you think if I eat a crisp that David will hear it?”

“He hasn’t noticed me yet.” “Ah, but you have better luck than me.” “Guess you’ll have to try your luck to see.”

Killian slowly opens one eye, then the next, before moving his arm away to reach into the bag. He takes one bite, eyeing David who still has his back turned, before eating a few more. He thinks that maybe he’ll get away with it until David turns around.

“Jones, put the damn chips back on the table before I burn your food.”

“Sorry,” Emma says to him, shrugging, but he can tell that she’s not sorry at all.

“I think I’ll survive, love.”

When the food is finished cooking, everyone settles around tables and in chairs, eating and drinking and laughing. And it’s nice, a nicer time than Killian has had in awhile if he’s honest with himself. But then the night falls, crickets finding their places in the surrounding trees and a breeze wafting through the campground, causing a chill to travel down his spine as his skin pebbles with goosebumps.

There is a fire going, though, and plenty of alcohol being passed around to warm him, but really, the alcohol might not be the best idea right now, especially since Mary Margaret and Ruby tend to like to play games when they’re halfway to drunk.

Mary Margaret said something about how they needed to play a shower game. It was tradition, but Elsa and Liam hadn’t wanted that. Then Ruby stood up from the bench she was sitting on and declared that they would play Truth or Dare like the grown adults they are. They love their games, though, and, well, Ruby does know how to turn the game into something that is rather more adult than what he played when he was a lad. This is nothing new. They tend to do this at every party they have, but he never knows if it’s going to be tame or not.

So far Elsa has had to share some intimate details about the first time she slept with Liam, which Killian truly did not need to hear about, Liam has chugged down half a bottle of ketchup, Will has jumped into the lake, Mary Margaret has had to answer what the one thing she’d change about David would be, which resulted in a hushed argument, and Ruby has run to the neighboring house and asked them for condoms.

She came back with an entire box.

So, now it’s Ruby scanning the semi-circle they’re sitting in looking for her next victim, because, really, of all the people here, the last person he’d want to have pick out whatever form of torture this is would be Ruby Lucas.

His one glass of rum has not numbed him enough for this.

“Emma,” Ruby finally says, and Killian swears he hears half the group let out sighs of relief.

“I hate you,” Emma mutters, flipping Ruby off.

“Oh, no you don’t. You love me, and I’m going to be really nice to you by telling you that if you pick ‘truth,’ I’m going to ask you about the guy who gave you that hickey last week.”

Killian’s cheeks immediately heat, and he swallows, pushing the thought down. He hadn’t meant to do that. It had been an accident because they are not teenagers and don’t usually leave marks, and he didn’t even know it happened until Emma had sent him a picture the next day.

Shit.

At least Emma’s a damn good liar since it’s not like anyone is actually forcing them to do this.

It’s the spirit of it all.

“Dare, you asshole.”

There are a few whistles from around the group, and Killian already knows there are going to be a few follow-up questions to Ruby’s words later.

“I dare you to…kiss Jones. Killian, not Liam. And none of that on the cheek shit. You two have so much chemistry, and I need to see it. I feel like everyone here needs to see it.”

“Oh my God,” he hears Emma murmur next to him at the same time that he has that exact thought. The whistles increase, some hollering too, and he swears that everyone here but he, Emma, and David are drunk off their asses. “Ruby, no. Pick something else. Like, something normal that non-tipsy you would pick.” “You chose ‘dare.’”

“Because you were going to ask me something I didn’t want to talk about. I don’t want to kiss Killian.” She turns back to him and winces. “No offense.”

“None taken,” he mumbles, knowing she’s trying to save face.

“Why not? He’s super hot. I mean, I know you think he’s hot. You’ve said it before, and you guys kind of have that ‘will they, won’t they’ thing going on, which I have been saying all summer. We actually have all talked about getting a betting pool as to when you’ll finally get together, especially since you and the dumbass are no longer a thing. So, come on, it won’t be that bad. You’ve got to uphold the integrity of truth or dare.”

Emma’s lips part, and Killian knows she has a retort on her tongue. She always does.

But then she’s turning and leaning over her chair until she’s grabbing the collar of his t-shirt and pulling his mouth to hers.

Fuck.

Her lips press into his, soft and warm as they always are, but it takes him a minute to fully close his eyes and appreciate how she feels against him. Eyes are on them, whistles ringing out around the group, and Killian swears he sees flashes of camera lights as Emma sucks on his bottom lip and his hands thread into her hair, pulling her closer.

And for one, miniscule second, he forgets about the people around him and the warring thoughts he’s been fighting for weeks now, and he lets himself revel in how damn good it feels to kiss Emma Swan.

But then it’s over.

They part, gasping for breath, and Killian’s grip tightens on the back of Emma’s head as her forehead rests warmly against his.

Strangely, all he can focus on is the fact that she smells like sunscreen.

“Well, hot damn,” Ruby sighs, and Killian finally drops his hand from Emma’s hair, “I feel like I need a glass of water now. Anyone else?”

There’s a murmur of voices, but Killian ignores them, focusing on the way Emma is blinking at him with a smirk painted on her lips. “That wasn’t too bad, was it?” “No, that wasn’t bad at all.”

“Emma, it’s your turn,” Ruby reminds her. “Feel free to do your worst to me.”

“Trust me, I plan to.”

In the blink of an eye, things go back to normal. The attention is back on the game, not on him, not on Emma, and no one says anything else about the kiss.

Apparently everyone cares about it a lot less than he thought they would.

But it was all part of a game. It wasn’t real.

None of it has been.

And he has no idea how much longer he’s going to be okay with that. He also has no idea how he could make any of it real, even if Emma wanted that, because he’s got no fucking clue how to do this.

His brain doesn’t seem to be conjuring up any ideas either.

Shit.

Eventually, the game dies down, everyone quieting and forming their own circles and conversations, and while Killian tries to stay for a little while, when the opportunity to sneak out and go to bed presents itself, he takes it.

-/-

-/-

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#your wonder under summer skies #cs fic #cs ff #cs fanfic #captain swan fic #captain swan ff #captain swan fanfic #Captain Swan

[atknz]

* miguel bernardeau , cismale + he/him | you know santiago atkins, right? they’re twenty-four, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, two months? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to i wanna get better by bleachers like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole   (   golden cross necklace squeezed between his fingers to suppress anger, a worn out book of mormon hidden beneath his nightstand, a tired smile    &    weary laugh echoed down the halls  )    thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is JUNE 25TH    so they’re a cancer, which is unsurprising, all things considered.

                       tw for .    religion, religious trauma, repressed gay ness, suicide 

TLDR: dumb but kind jesus lover who doesn’t know being bisexual exists.  IF YOU WANT TO SIMPLY SKIP TO CONNECTIONS AND PERSONALITY, FEEL FREE TO DO SO!!

insp.  jason from bare: a pop opera, shelby from the wilds.

santiago was born to marina ruiz in 1996.  a low-income waitress from madrid, spain. his father is unknown. one day, when marina was at work, she served a group of young men who described themselves as members of the church of latter day saints (mormons), they were american men sent to madrid to carry out their mission of bringing as many people as possible to jesus christ. they were nice, tipped well, and invited her to church.   feeling down on herself, marina figured there was no harm in doing so and her life was completely changed when she became a full fledge member of the LDS church.  santiago, two at the time, had no choice but to follow in her footsteps.    

life for the two wasn’t bad afterward. marina met a man, Beck Atkins, who quickly became a father figure for santiago. the two fell in love, got married merely five months into their relationship, popped out about four more kids (in which she legally changed santiago’s last name to atkins so that it wouldn’t be obvious he was from a different relationship) and, when santiago turned seventeen, the family of seven set their sights on SALT LAKE CITY, UTAH - beck’s hometown.

santiago was in utah for a year before starting his very own mission. he branded a name tag that said ELDER ATKINS, suited up and was shipped to north carolina with a companion, elder brett, as the two went door-to-door in an attempt to save the lives of residence in NC and bring them closer to jesus christ.  between all of the door slams, threats to get off the lawn, and being made fun of, the two always wore a smile and shared a laugh. as thick as thieves is how people would describe santiago and elder brett - which is known to happen when you’re with each other 24/7 and sharing bunk beds.

                            “ one thing led to another and soon i would discover:                               i was having really strange feelings for steve (elder brett) ”

hi if u guessed that bi-repressed santiago would soon fall head over heels for his companion, you’re abso-fucking-lutely right.  however it wasn’t unrequited, the kiss behind the church van four months into their mission taught him that, but santiago was a coward. as much as elder brett was prepared to stand before the church and declare his love - santiago was certain it was a phase, he’s liked girls before, he’s just confused. besides, the scripture, he thought, was very, very  clear.   so they hid it for another year and eight months.

SUICIDE TRIGGER WARNING:        long story short: in a para i’ll get into some day, elder brett had had enough of the secrets, the lying to his family and lying to himself about who he was, at the end of their mission he told santiago he wanted to come out - with or without him - and santiago freaked. he knew it wouldn’t take long for the church to put two-and-two together, and had some extremely harsh words to say to his boyfriend about the decision. about how he was only bored, there were no girls on the trip, he didn’t actually love him, no one could actually love him.     but santiago didn’t know that elder brett was dealing with other demons and, essentially, that came as a last straw for the him. he just remembers a stream of tears pouring from his eyes on his way back to salt lake, the crush of a hug from his mother and father as they apologized for what happened to his friend.    ( in which his dad so lovingly added that elder brett may not make it to the celestial kingdom after ruining god’s plan by ending his life too soon.  )      END TRIGGER WARNING

he stayed at home for a few more years, until remembering a place in NC called irving that he and elder brett felt was quaint and cute, deciding to move there officially in late may. 

BRIEF PERSONALITY  AND  HEAD CANONS.

kind, almost to a fault. he truly is full of love, light, and care. he’s constantly wearing a smile on his face, loves to give hugs and advice and wants the best for everyone.  HE WILL GIVE YOU A HUG UNANNOUNCED

kind of an idiot who is shit at context clues, always finds it strange when people are mean. has never touched a drop of alcohol and doesn’t swear. catch him saying “frick” religiously

jesus christ is his best friend.

has a dark side with an insane amount of anger issues ever since he was a kid. it’s one of the reasons his mother thought the church worked so well because they taught him how to suppress that emotion and... smile instead of feeling it.     which obviously isn’t good, as he could have a tendency to black out and realize he’d completely smashed his tv to bits or punched a hole in the wall.

he’s not 100% sure of his sexuality. he knows he’s into guys so he basically decided that must mean he’s gay but is extremely confused because he also finds himself having crushes on women.  someone sit him down and tell him that bisexuality / pansexuality exists bc he’s HARMED

                                      CONNECTIONS 

he was on his mission in / around irving two years ago ,  2019 - knocking on every door and asking if he and his companion can share the story of jesus christ with them... so pls give me a connect of someone who either entertained the idea, slammed the door in his face or threatened him to get off their lawn.

bad influence. he never touched a drop of alcohol, doesn’t cuss, doesn’t even drink coffee. pls he’s so boring

bible study friends lmao

A FRIEND WHO HE CLUNG TO!! their personality doesn’t matter but it’d be hella cute if they were usually irritated by santiago and he had no idea. he’s like haha ur so funny when ur mean i love u <3

BASICALLY ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING 

TBA IM SO TIRED

#i can write this i've read scriptures from the book of mormon #irvingintro #am too tired to finish writing connections... #this was too long im sorry? #///// #suicide tw

[ishkah]

On The Far-Left, Effective Activism & Violence

Introduction to what it means to be on the far-left

So first off, as socialists & anarchists, we know we are far outside the Overton window. We know even if left-wing policy positions are more popular than right-wing, most people are still going to be biased to what they’ve grown up with and what’s familiar to them.

But, we also know we can shift the Overton window from the radical fringe: [1]

The most important thing about the Overton window, however, is that it can be shifted to the left or the right, with the once merely “acceptable” becoming “popular” or even imminent policy, and formerly “unthinkable” positions becoming the open position of a partisan base. The challenge for activists and advocates is to move the window in the direction of their preferred outcomes, so their desired outcome moves closer and closer to “common sense.”

There are two ways to do this: the long, hard way and the short, easy way. The long, hard way is to continue making your actual case persistently and persuasively until your position becomes more politically mainstream, whether it be due to the strength of your rhetoric or a long-term shift in societal values. By contrast, the short, easy way is to amplify and echo the voices of those who take a position a few notches more radical than what you really want.

For example, if what you actually want is a public health care option in the United States, coordinate with and promote those pushing for single-payer, universal health care. If the single-payer approach constitutes the “acceptable left” flank of the discourse, then the public option looks, by comparison, like the conservative option it was once considered back when it was first proposed by Orrin Hatch in 1994.

This is Negotiating 101.

So our hope is that our ideals and passion can be admired by some, like risking prison to sabotage the draft for Vietnam, so some peoples sons aren't conscripted into fighting an evil war. [2] Then any moderate left policies might look reasonable in comparison which makes them the tried and tested policies of the future.

We should also openly acknowledge that the ideal future we would like to see is empirically extremely unlikely to come about in our own lifetimes in the west, as there are still so many hills to climb first in pressuring workplaces over to a more co-operative flattened hierarchy of workplace democracy.

To quickly summarise, the direction the far-left would like to head in, is going from; a two party system, to... a multi-party coalition through preferential voting, to... some local government positions being elected by sortition, to… the majority of society being so content with worker-co-ops and syndicalist unions that we transition from representative democracy to direct democracy. So, a chamber of ministers to federated spokes councils.

Now I might be the minority in the far-left on this, but I would want people to have the option of going back a step if people aren't ready for that level of direct democracy, where the choice is disorganization and suffering or slightly less suffering under a repressive system of governance again. You could relate this to the position Rosa Luxemburg was in in lending support and hoping some good would come of the Spartacist uprising, whilst also wishing they could have been convinced to hold off until they were more prepared.

This is why it’s so important to build the governance model slowly enough to match expertise, so as not to falter with people pushing for ideals before having adequately put them to the test. So as not to cause a whiplash effect, where people desire a reactionary politics of conformity, under more rigid hierarchy of just the few.

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As anarchists & socialists who desire a more directly democratic society, what tactics should we use if we want to be effective at moving society in that direction?

Electoral politics - We need to get really well educated on how even the baby step policies toward the left would be an improvement on where we are now, we need to learn the internal politicking of government and get good at having friendly arguments with comedy to appeal to friends and acquaintances basic intuitions.

The goal being that we can talk the latest news and (1) Win over conservatives to obvious empirically better policies on the left, and (2) Win over liberals when centre-left parties are in power to feel dismayed at the slow pace of change, and so acknowlege how much better it would be if there was a market socialist in the position willing to rally people to demonstrate and strike to push through bills.

Mutual aid – We should put the time into helping our neighbours and volunteering, for example on a food not bombs stall, to get people to see the positive benefits of a communalist caring society.

Theory – We should be educating ourselves and helping others know what work and rent union to join, what to keep a record of at work, how to defend yourself from rapists and fascists, how to crack a squat and how to write a press release, etc.

Campaigning – We should look for the easiest squeeze points to rack up small wins, like the picketing of a cafe to reclaim lost wages, so that word spreads and it creates a domino effect.

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What tactics should we or shouldn’t we generally avoid in our political campaigns?

Civility as an end in itself

They’re not lies, they’re “falsehoods”; it’s not racism, it’s “racially charged comments”; it’s not torture, it’s “enhanced interrogation.” For years, U.S. media has prioritized, above all else, norms and civility.

Mean words or questioning motives are signs of declining civility and the subject of much lament from our media class. However, op-eds explicitly advocating war, invasion, sanctions, sabotage, bombing and occupation or cutting vital programs and lifelines for the poor are just the cost of doing business. What’s rhetorically out of bounds - and what isn’t - is far more a product of power than any objective sense of "civility" or “decency.”

Where did these so-called norms come from, who do they benefit, and why is their maintenance–-even in the face of overt white nationalism––still the highest priority for many liberals and centrists in U.S. media? [3]

This is so important to challenge, and yet incredibly nuanced. So, it is obviously a great success that the rate at which people would go around hurling racist insults looks to have dropped in favour of more political correctness.

It is also true that in pursuit of political correctness and an ethic of care, we can look for simplistic niceness, to the detriment of being able to identify systems of oppression.  We need to be able to refuse the emotional labor of treating our bosses as friends when we have no desire to be friends with them. [4]

Similarly in our everyday interactions, we need to encourage our friends to accept us for who we are or not to accept us at all, so as to create deeper connections which builds stronger communities: [5]

It can be annoying or hurtful when others presume they know everything about you. But rather than assert their wrongness and make them defensive, you can acknowledge it as a common human failing and find creative ways to hold a mirror up to what life experiences they’ve had that lead them to jump to those conclusions.

One way is a kind of playful authenticity, telling a lie about a lie, to get back closer to the truth. So don’t outright challenge the idea, but don’t live up to it either, in fact live down to it. Playfully undermine the idea by failing to live up to the glamour of what it would mean to be that person, then find a way of revealing that it was a misunderstanding all along, so they needn’t worry about it applying to you.

Media Chasing – We shouldn’t chose our actions for the primary purpose of provoking conversations because it is insincere to ones own desires to materially affect change and it’s recognised as such by those who hear about it.

Transparency – We should be transparent with our supporters in all we hope to achieve and how successful we are being at achieving that task, so as not to attract funds for labor we haven’t and aren’t likely to be able to do.

Civil Disobedience – Whether it be breaking the law without causing any damage or economic sabotage and political violence which we’ll talk about later, anarchists hope to chose the right actions to provoke conversations and materially challenge unethical industries and actors, so as to push electoral politics towards direct democracy and eventually consolidate our gains in a revolution.

Fascists will also use tactics from civil disobedience to political violence, and tend toward violence against people for people holding ideas as the things they hate, rather than the lefts systemic critique of material conditions. All in the hopes of pushing society towards a more authoritarian constitutional republic, before seizing power in a palace coup and attempting to rule as a sequence of dictators for life.

It is up to the left to try and counter this violence by doxxing, making their rallies miserable, etc. And it is up to everyone to decide which government to vote in, to enact what degree of punishment to bring down on people breaking the law on either side.

Any direction the society goes in for either not controlling or bowing to which protesters demands is still the moral culpability of the government and those who participated in the party political process.

There simply is an obvious legal and moral difference between for example victimless civil disobedience on the left aimed at all people being treated equally in society like collecting salt from the sea or staying seated on the bus, to the type of violence you see on the right, like Israeli settlers throwing people off their land with arson attacks, stealing another country’s resources against international law.

But again, it is true that to whatever degree anarchists chose bad targets optically, we do to some degree bring the slow pace of change on ourselves by handing the right an advocacy win.

Graffiti & Culture Jamming – Whether it be an artistic masterpiece that no one asked for or altering a billboard to say something funny and political, instead of the advert that was there before pressuring you to consume more and more, most people can be won over by this as a good form of advocacy. Just don’t practice tagging your name a million times over every building in town.

Hacking – Obviously most people agree whistle-blowing war crimes is a yay. Selectively releasing documents to help conservatives win elections however, is a nay.

Sabotage – We should chose targets which have caused people the most amount of misery, for which people can sympathise most, like the sabotaging of draft cards I wrote about at the beginning. So causing economic damage to affect material conditions and make a statement.

We also need to carefully consider the difference between property which is personal, luxury, private, government owned and co-operatively worker owned.

So, it could be seen as ethical to chose material targets of evil actors in order to cause economic damage and make a statement, so long as in the case of personal property, the item has no sentimental value and can be replaced because the person is wealthy. Or is a luxury item that was paid for through the exploitation of others labor. Or is private property, meaning the means of production which should be owned collectively anyway.

It’s an expression of wanting to find an outlet for legitimate anger against that which causes us suffering. For example, if taking the risk to slash slaughterhouse trucks’ tires in the dead of night is how you develop stronger bonds with a group of people and gain the confidence to do amazing things like travel the world and learn from other liberation struggles.

Fighting – First off, I think propaganda by the deed, physically hurting people for the purpose of making a political statement is evil, as it runs counter to our philosophy on the left that material conditions create the person and so we should make every peaceful effort to rehabilitate people.

However, to the extent that some current institutions fail to rehabilitate people and the process of seeking justice through these institutions can cause more trauma, then personal violence to get to resolve feelings of helplessness in the face of evil acts can be an ethical act.

For example survivor-led vigilantism: [4]

“I wanted revenge. I wanted to make him feel as out of control, scared and vulnerable as he had made me feel. There is no safety really after a sexual assault, but there can be consequences.” -Angustia Celeste, “Safety is an Illusion: Reflections on Accountability”

Two situations in which prominent anarchist men were confronted and attacked by groups of women in New York and Santa Cruz made waves in anarchist circles in 2010. The debates that unfolded across our scenes in response to the actions revealed a widespread sense of frustration with existing methods of addressing sexual assault in anarchist scenes. Physical confrontation isn’t a new strategy; it was one of the ways survivors responded to their abusers before community accountability discourse became widespread in anarchist circles. As accountability strategies developed, many rejected physical confrontation because it hadn’t worked to stop rape or keep people safe. The trend of survivor-led vigilantism accompanied by communiqués critiquing accountability process models reflects the powerlessness and desperation felt by survivors, who are searching for alternatives in the face of the futility of the other available options.

However, survivor-led vigilantism can be a valid response to sexual assault regardless of the existence of alternatives. One doesn’t need to feel powerless or sense the futility of other options to take decisive physical action against one’s abuser. This approach offers several advantages. For one, in stark contrast to many accountability processes, it sets realistic goals and succeeds at them. It can feel more empowering and fulfilling than a long, frequently triggering, overly abstract process. Women can use confrontations to build collective power towards other concerted anti-patriarchal action. Physical confrontation sends an unambiguous message that sexual assault is unacceptable. If sexual violence imprints patriarchy on the bodies of women, taking revenge embodies female resistance.

Other examples we can think of are personally desiring to fight fascists in the street to block them from marching through immigrant communities. To pushing your way through huntsman to save a fox from getting mauled to death by dogs.

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Political killing

I’ll work through hypotheticals from circumstances relevant to the past, present and future, then talk through the ethics of each.

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Past possibilities

Most people agree anyone who took it upon themselves to assassinate Hitler a day before the break out of WW2 would be seen as committing an ethical act, no matter who follows, because throwing a wrench into the cult of personality spell built around Hitler would be a significant set back for the fascist state’s grip over the people. And given all the evidence pointing to the inevitability of war, such an act could easily be seen as a necessary pre-emptive act.

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Present possibilities

Most can sympathise with quick revolutions against dictatorships where the result is a freer society, like the Kurdish uprising in Northern Syria which took power from a regime who had rolled tanks on demonstrators and outlawed teaching of their native language.

But, even there, there are key foundations you need to work from, like the probability you won’t just give an excuse for the oppressor committing even worse horrors as was the case with the Rohingya militants who ambushed a police checkpoint, resulting in army & citizen campaign to burn down many villages, plus murder and rape those that couldn’t get away.

As well as a responsibility to put down arms after winning political freedoms and a majority are in favour of diplomacy through electoral politics, like in Northern Ireland today.

Under representative parliamentary systems, the sentiment of most is that even if it could be argued that a war of terror against the ruling class was the easiest route to produce a better society, that it would still be ethically wrong to be the person who takes another’s life just because it’s the easiest way. Since regardless of manufactured consent or anything else you still could have worked to build a coalition to overcome those obstacles and change the system slowly from within.

And I agree, it would be an act of self-harm to treat life with such disregard when you could have been that same deluded person shrouded in the justificatory trappings of society treating your behaviour normally. I don’t think the way we win today is treating a cold bureaucratic system with equally cold disregard in whose life we had the resources to be able to intimidate this week. Time on earth is the greatest gift people have, to make mistakes and learn from them.

So then, an easy statement to make on life under representative parliamentary systems is; outside of absurdly unrealistic hypotheticals, I could never condone purposefully killing others when campaigning against such monoliths as state and corporate repression today.

Breaking that down though; what do I mean by an unrealistic hypothetical? For example the philosophical thought experiment called the trolley problem, where you have a runaway trolley hurtling towards 5 people tied to a track, and you can pull a leaver so the train changes tracks and only kills 1 person tied to a track. Or you can change it to 7 billion to 1 even. Or 7 billion of your average citizens vs. 1 million unethical politicians, police and bosses, to make it political.

Now what do I mean by purposeful, well we can think of for example the most extreme cases of post-partum psychosis which has mothers killing their babies. But more nuanced than that, the rape victim who gets worn down by their abuser for years until they have a psychological break and kill.

That does still leave a lot of lee way for people knowingly taking risks with others lives, not intending to kill, but who are reckless in their actions, such as with some forms of economic sabotage. And I agree such a reckless act would bring up feelings of revulsion for all kinds of reasons like questioning whether the person was really doing it to help people or for their own ego-aggrandizement. All that can be hoped is a person makes a careful accounting of their ability for human error and weighs it against the outcomes of doing nothing.

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Future possibilities

We can hypothesise the unrealistic case of 99% of society desiring a referendum on a shift from parliamentary representative system to a federated spokes council system and the MPs dragging their feet, the same way both parties gerrymander the boundaries to make it easier to win despite it being the one issue most everyone agrees is bad, and people needing to storm the halls of power to force a vote to happen.

More likely though, an opportunity for revolution might arise from such a confluence of events as climate refugees and worker gains forcing the state and corporations into trying to crack down on freedoms in order to preserve their power and enough people resisting that move, who are then able take power and usher in radical policy change, with either the army deciding to stand down or splitting into factions.

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References

1. Beautiful Trouble: A Toolbox for Revolution - Use your radical fringe to shift the Overton window P. 215.

2. The Camden 28 - The Camden 28 were a group of Catholic left anti-Vietnam War activists who in 1971 planned and executed a raid on a Camden, New Jersey draft board. The raid resulted in a high-profile criminal trial of the activists that was seen by many as a referendum on the Vietnam War and as an example of jury nullification.

3. Citations Needed Podcast - Civility Politics

4. Slavoj Žižek: Political Correctness is a More Dangerous Form of Totalitarianism | Big Think

5. A Love Letter To Failing Upward

6. Accounting for Ourselves - Breaking the Impasse Around Assault and Abuse in Anarchist Scenes.

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#politics #far-left #advocacy #pragmatic #direct action #anarchism #anarchist #socialism #socialist #left communist #left communism #council communism #democratic confederalism #de leonism #rojava #crimethinc #antifa #antifascist #sabotage #animal liberation front #earth liberation front #veganarchist #veganarchism #revolution #reform

[fan-clan-fun]

howdy! it's been a while since i sent anything in, but i recently came up with some new roles for one of my clans and wanted to hear your thoughts! for reference, i'm the person who's sent in stuff on 'the coastal clans' (seaclan, forestclan, and cliffclan) before. they've been renamed, however, to seaclan, sequoiaclan, and willowclan! just thought to clarify to avoid confusion.

Im excited to hear more!

i sent this in a submission because it got too long for an ask. sorry!

so! in sequioaclan, there are three leaders who each have their own separate duties and charges, though they all come together to lead the clan. i thought it was a lot of work for each leader - so i came up with 'sub-roles' for them. these sub roles consist of a few cats - up to five, i'd say - and the leader's deputy is usually chosen from this pool of cats.

This is a fascinating concept, but with how you've worded it I assume the clan is fairly large (since each of three leaders has up to five sub-roles), which if it is it works! But makes me wonder how many regular warriors there are or if things are just much more specialized in this clan.

i'm going to note beforehand that this might change, as i'm still figuring everything out. as of right now, i've gotten rid of the 'had a successful mentorship' requirement for deputies. with these sub-roles, the leaders would be able to monitor their progress, skill, and demeanor well enough to determine if they'd make a good fit for deputy and possibly leader.

This makes sense, the point of mentorship to begin with was not as a hurdle, but supposed to show how a cat used leadership skills to train and care for a cat under their care. These days it seems like more of a base requirement to just get through, rather than as a way to assess a potential deputy's capabilities. But having another way to assess works out just fine.

maieth's ward is the leader who makes sure everyone in the clan is taken care of; getting dens fixed, sending out patrols, serving as the mediator. to help her with her duties, maieth's ward has her 'clankeepers' (name may be changed at some point). the clankeepers assist in tasks such as repairing dens, keeping the clearing tidy, and helping their leader with whatever they may need. the clankeepers also play a big role in the creation of crafts and supplies for sequoiaclan. it's their job to light the clan's fires in the cold season and keep them lit, as well as overseeing the skinning of larger animals, the creation of clay pots and bowls, and curing meat. they and maieth's ward are the ones who facilitate trading with the other clans, outside of gatherings. clankeepers are also taught ways of mediation between clanmates.

So im seeing these clans have significantly more ability to create and craft, which means they would obviously need a role for that, and you've summarized at quite well! I like that they have well rounded duties and expectations, and also that you have included a somewhat diplomatic role in here.

kenoake's ward is the healer and spiritual leader of the clan. those who assist them in their duties are known as 'healers.' they are taught about how to treat illnesses and injuries, which herbs are best for what, and proper conduction for rituals and ceremonies. they forage for needed herbs, help with the creation of crafts for ceremonies (such as the clay bead necklaces each sequoiaclan cat gets when first introduced to the clan), and more.

Standard healers, very nice. I do like that there are more than two, always made me worried when a clan had only one medicine cat, I always feel like those clans are one accident away from serious trouble without a med cat.

those under the charge of aerin's ward (who's in charge of training, apprentices, and related ceremonies) are called 'mentors.' in sequoiaclan, instead of each cat having an individual mentor, they're taught together, as a class might be (though special cases can be made, such as cats who've fallen behind or would like some extra teaching). each of the mentors specializes in something different; hunting, fighting, climbing, etc. the mentors, and maieth's ward, work together to mentor these cats in the best way possible. assessments are rarely done individually; sequoiaclan puts an emphasis on cooperation and community, so your skill is assessed on how well you work with your clanmates. classes will be taught by non-mentors, too; healers teach basic medical skills and herb recognition, while clankeepers offer classes based on repairing dens, crafting, skinning and tanning, and more.

This is a nice set up! The first series showed that there was a lot of cooperation between mentors and sharing apprentices, and I think its helpful to be able to learn different skills from different cats.

healers and clankeepers are usually chosen by their leader, so long as it's a role they want to take. new cats in these roles are taught by all of the clankeepers/healers, rather than just one. for mentors, it's a little different; depending on what skill a prospective mentor is best at or wishes to teach, they will be taken in as an apprentice by the current mentor specializing in that skill.

The only thing Im still unsure about is whether there are normal warriors, or if everyone somewhat falls under these three roles. And if healers and clankeepers are chosen as apprentices, or after. Otherwise it sounds a like a very cooperative clan! Everyone working together.

a quick explanation for the meat curing, too - sequoiaclan will often hunt larger animals such as elk or deer for their massive amount of meat, bones, and skin. excess meat (usually in the summer) is cured in clay pots using sea salt (traded for from seaclan), and is to be eaten in the winter when prey gets more scarce.

Thats a neat little worldbuilding tidbit, it seems like you've worked hard on that, keep it up!

i think that's it-- thanks so much for letting me submit!

#warrior cats #non-canon clans #clan culture #warriorsworldbuilding #submission

[gffa]

#SOLAD SPOILERS and #SOLAD REPLIES if you want to either avoid spoilers or avoid the salt!  I would also encourage everyone to read the story for themselves, because people are going to see things differently, going to register things differently, and everyone should judge for themselves! Continuing the discussion from this post and this post @duchess-of-mandalore replied:

Thanks for clarifying this. I totally agree with this. The thing is, I don’t see it as “prioritizing the romantic relationship” as much as just … forgetting that other moments of rage already existed (I mentioned before that the author feels like a casual fan, and I’m sticking by that).

I think the author felt that because he chose to view Obi-Wan’s rage through The Lawless (which probably seemed like an attractive choice, given that it’s the highest rated episode short of The Siege of Mandalore), he had to keep the story about The Lawless (also, when you have to get through the whole episode and you only have 30 pages, I get that there’s a lot that needs to get glossed over).

But you can’t just pick one episode and examine it within the a vacuum.

Because you’re absolutely right. I’m a diehard Obitine shipper, but the author did not convince me at all that this is the first time Obi-Wan has felt rage. Far from it. There should have been much more about Qui-Gon (where Obi-Wan’s reaction feels much more rage-filled to me), and definitely more reflection on Maul, especially his taunting of Obi-Wan.

We’re obviously in agreement that this episode does not show rage. It shows grief. And so unfortunately, whether you’re an Obitine shipper or not, I don’t have much positive to say about this story, because it feels like a complete misrepresentation of this episode and the character of Obi-Wan Kenobi (in regards to his past, and how he’s feeling at this point in time), in a way that makes me wonder how it came to print in this current status.

It’s interesting how we interpret the amount of romance in this story, because I felt like it was very obvious that it was a romantic relationship, that Obi-Wan may have called her a “friend”, but also he repeats the line of how he would have left the Jedi Order for her, and I don’t think you can divorce that scene--or the entire Obitine relationship, honestly--from being a romantic one.  So, whatever they do with it, however it’s described, it’s very obviously meant as a romantic one, for me.  (Though, I can see how you feel it was the most aromantic version of their relationship yet and found it dissatisfying and I hear you on that.) Further, what frustrated me about the story was that it’s still a) fridging Satine for Obi-Wan’s manpain (not the fault of the story, that was already in TCW, but it’s important because--) b) not really Satine’s story.  I have two problems with this, in that it prioritized this relationship over Obi-Wan’s relationship with Qui-Gon, despite that Obi-Wan absolutely had dealt with rage before--in TPM!  In this anthology in the Maul story!, that even Anakin’s scene felt like it was half there just to put us in the frame of mind of comparing Obitine and Anidala. I found this frustrating because Satine deserves a story that’s hers.  Not Obi-Wan thinking about how she wore certain colors or flowers to remind Mandalore of what they could one day be again.  That’s a lovely sentiment, but give it to me from Satine, not from Obi-Wan.  And I found it frustrating because I don’t buy for one second that Obi-Wan didn’t understand why he couldn’t Leeroy Jenkins his way onto Mandalore and that he would be bitter about it.  Obi-Wan has always understood the politics and how and when to get around them, for him to throw that out the window felt like, oh, well, of course, because it’s Satine.  The romantic relationship.  But it’s also coming on the heels of using his relationship with Anakin to be about Obitine vs Anidala, it’s coming on the heels of swiping aside Obi-Wan’s using the dark side/anger in both fights with Maul because of Qui-Gon. It comes with the context of the description of how--in the moments I’ve giffed above--that Obi-Wan was feeling a rage so powerful that he would raze everything to the ground for it, because Satine died, and what brings him back?  Not his Jedi values that he lives his entire life by, but that Satine wouldn’t want him to.  I don’t buy for one second that Obi-Wan wouldn’t pull himself back because he lives by the principles his Order has taught him. lacependragon said: 

I can’t with long words or descriptions but I bought this ebook just to read this story to keep up on this conversation and jfc I have never been so disappointed. I know 12 year old boys who understand Obi’s character better than this.

I get that sometimes people just have different interpretations of characters and I realize we all get invested in our views of them, as well as I feel like a lot of the elements of this story are close.  Like, I was so intrigued by the idea of Obi-Wan struggling with the dark side!  Because the dark side isn’t just anger, it’s also fear and sorrow and suffering!  It would have been SO EASY to explore those things, because they’re written all over his face! Further, it ignores so much of the bigger context of Obi-Wan’s character, like just how important those other relationships are and how they’ve shaped him.  Understands anger in a new way?  Different from his anger at Qui-Gon’s death?  Because, yes, he was sorrowful after he’d cut Maul in half, but when he did that?  He was FURIOUS, it was right there on his face, too. thebiscuiteternal said: 

Excuse me? Obi-Wan, who paced and *snarled* at Maul behind the energy gates after Qui-Gon was impaled? *That* Obi-Wan had never felt rage towards Maul until he killed Satine? Oh, fuck this story.

I KNOW, RIGHT?  I’m not even the biggest defender of Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon’s relationship (though, of course it’s important) but the sheer DISRESPECT of saying that Obi-Wan understood anger in a new way after Satine died in pretty much THE EXACT SAME MANNER as Qui-Gon! And @watsonerr says something I’ve been struggling to articulate well on this reply:

Another thing I didn’t agree with was how Obi-Wan kept being angry at the council, considering how he not only is not the type to ignore the bigger picture, but also how he knows well that sending republic troops there to free everyone would be extremly risky, especially that they were at war and the republic and Mandalore had a treaty. Exactly why I’ll stick with the deleted scene from The Lawless in which he says “The policies of the jedi and the chancellor often don’t meet eye to eye these days.” But at the same time, I also think it was probably meant to be this way, because Obi-Wan was emotional and had a clouded judgement the whole chapter for obvious reasons, and he fell right into Maul’s trap. And that’s a nice parallel to Obi-Wan’s attitude in Old Friends Not Forgotten, where he knew better than to let emotions cloud his judgement.

I’d be more forgiving if the final ending weren’t, “I understand anger in a way I never have before.” which makes it seem like Obi-Wan’s anger at the council was objective and not part of him falling into the trap of attachment.  I’m still not sure I could buy bitterness from him or the lack of understanding the political ramifications, but I’d at least be able to sort of see it. I mean, this is what he says in that same story:  “Few in the bustling hangar took notice of Obi-Wan as he approached his Eta-2 Actis-class interceptor. Things would be different on Mandalore. The presence of a Jedi on a planet struggling to remain neutral in the war between the Republic and the Separatists would do more than attract attention. It might be considered an act of aggression. It might lead to further violence—more death.” This is his way of convincing Anakin not to come along:  ““The presence of one Jedi on Mandalore will be hard enough to conceal. Two Jedi will be impossible. You’d put the mission at risk. And Satine.”” Yet there’s no acknowledgement of that when he thinks about why they won’t agree to send him?  I don’t buy that from Obi-Wan Kenobi, even if he would ultimately disagree with them. Overall, we’re definitely making mountains out of molehills with this, it’s really not that big of a deal, both in terms of IT’S JUST A MADE UP SPACE WOO STORY and that it’s not as heinous as it might sound from the conversation.  I’ll reread it in a few days and maybe it’ll come across better for me, I could easily see that happening!  As well as I’m sure there are going to be plenty of people who see it as perfectly in character for Obi-Wan! BUT WHAT WOULD THIS HELLSITE BE IF NOT FOR RIDICULOUS NERDING OUT?  THAT’S WHAT TUMBLR IS FOR.   😂

#obi wan kenobi #satine kryze #obitine #novels #meta #solad spoilers #solad replies #long post

[thatblondeperson]

TimSteph, taking care of chronic injuries!

Hey look, another ask that got buried! Sorry friend!!!! 

This is all preboot, RR/Batgirl era.

Ok so Tim is super extra imo when it comes to treating any kind of sickness, injury, ANYTHING. He’s the type of guy who will go to CVS and buy out the entire “cold + flu” aisle as soon a Steph gets a runny nose. He absolutely drowns her in cough drops and tissues. I can see him being extremely attentive as well. Like bringing blankets and pillows around the clock, happy to carry her from point A to point B, almost insisting to do so on occasion, and just sitting with her for as long as she desires/needs company. He absolutely pays no mind to germs. Steph can cuddle all she wants.

Steph is similar but less extra. She’s got some more classic home remedies that Tim doesn’t have. She absolutely would baby the hell out of him if he got sick though, and probably more often than not she has to put her foot down on him trying to patrol even if he’s completely out of it and burning up. Tim has a hard time relaxing, but eventually the time is used for him to catch up on sleep. Tim getting sick is like a mini-hibernation. I can see Alfred stepping in occasionally if they were both sick because Tim’s an absolute mess, and Steph can only do so much before she gets wiped out. They’re hopeless and completely out of service if they’re both ill at the same time. Error 404: Dorks not found. 

Chronic injuries are a constant process. Steph obviously has a ton just from Black Mask alone. I’m sure she gets aches and pains on the regular due to the severity of the torture she experience. Power drills would leave some lasting abdominal pain for sure. Hell, I wonder if it makes cramps worse for her? It could in all honestly. She may need serious pain meds during that time of the month which are of course always kept on hand. On top of that, the physical trauma definitely left endless mental trauma. No question about it. Not to mention that time she got lightly shot in the head. I say lightly because I forgot this was a thing because they don’t really address it again. I imagine that would cause occasional headaches/migraines, and I’m sure Tim likes to run a scan every now and again to make sure there isn’t any lasting damage. And of course, we return to the medicine cabinet for more pain pills. (Thank you @incoherentbabblings for reminding me of the gunshot.)

I headcanon that both of them get nightmares on almost the regular. They’ve both got it set that if one of them is in the middle of a bad nightmare, the other just holds them close, doing whatever they can to soothe them until the calmness sets back in. The nightmares get more spaced out some time after they move in together because I think the constant safeness of having someone beside them every night would eventually help them both sleep through the night better. It is hard to get back to sleep though. Both of them have been put through the ringer, they’ve both seen death of loved ones up close and personal, and I imagine a lot of what they’ve experienced is still very vivid and intense for them.

Tim’s got his own fair share of recurring pain. The boy doesn’t have a spleen and tbh I don’t know how he’s not getting sick more frequently. But extra precautions need to be taken to keep him from getting infections when he gets any kid of open wound, thank GOD Steph is a nurse. Tim has to be kept pretty healthy though if at all possible, which brings us back to my previous headcanon about him not caring about germs when Steph is sick? Yeah, not his smartest move, but Tim’s an idiot and forgets that he’s fragile. 

Both of them have regular joint issues. They’ve dislocated enough things for just about everything to make awful clicking sounds now and again. Steph doesn’t have as much regular muscle pain, she’s far more flexible than Tim is so she stays pretty loose and limber, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t have to work at it every day. Steph does yoga as a part of her routine. She gets Tim to join sometimes but he’s not very good at keeping up with it. He’s flexible too but not to her level, and he locks up easier if he’s had an especially tough night. They both try to put the time in to exercise when they can, spotting each other, keeping a routine going, because given how much they both get beaten and battered on the daily, if they don’t keep up with muscle pain, it’ll just get worse. On bad days when the pain makes any mobility difficult, massages ensue. They’ve got at least 15 ice packs in the freezer at all times, and a stack of heating pads in the medicine cabinet. And if all else fails, a nice hot bubble bath never hurts. With Epsom salts and everything. Steph likes to add a touch of lavender oil.

Immediate injuries they’re both very good at treating. Steph obviously has more technical knowhow, and she is the most medically trained of all the Batfam members, but Tim is detail oriented and good at focusing when he needs to so he can keep up just fine. They’re both good at stitches and general wound treatment, but Steph is better at consistent treatment. Tim will absolutely forget to switch out his bandages or clean things because his brain is soup and he cannot be bothered to think about injuries when he’s too busy with 50 other things on the constant. He needs to slow down. We get right back into “more prone to infections” again. Alas. Idiot. 

They both have their fair share of mental health issues, though Tim’s tend to be more intense. Steph has her ways of managing her own mental state but Tim gets stuck often. He falls into some pretty deep depression spells, and his anxiety acts up fairly frequently. Steph has started teaching him how to meditate, but also has a list of distractions and special remedies that she can utilize if need be. Movies and tea are a good base line, though Tim’s mind gets very far away sometimes and it’s hard to pull him back out. Like he almost wants to wallow in his sadness. Often she just tries to ground him as best she can so he doesn’t get so lost that he can’t come back. Steph likes to make sure that he isn’t always using patrol as a crutch for when he’s feeling upset or tense. It’s hard to sway him away from more pain when he lets himself get so close to the edge. It breaks her heart, sometimes she feels helpless.

Steph has anxiety as well, and some psychosomatic tics from her past abuse. She needs a lot of reassurance and gentleness when her mind starts racing. She’s still prone to trust issues, even now when she’s surrounded herself with stable people. She’s been let down and she fears losing her steady ground sometimes. Tim, let’s face it, hasn’t been the most reliable in the past, but I firmly believe that with some growing up he’d step up to the plate and try to be a solid home base for her to the best of his abilities. He’s not going anywhere anytime soon. He’s very good at being gentle. That’s canon as fuck. I will die on the hill that Tim is as delicate with Steph as one would be with a priceless porcelain heirloom. Fight me, the boy would never intentionally try to physically or mentally hurt her. He tries so hard to reassure her but I thinks he feels a little helpless sometimes too. Some of her trust issues are his fault, and he can’t just snap his fingers and reverse his mistakes. He tries his best, but there will always be scars. 

All in all, I think they’re both very tender and caring with one another. They’re both beyond broken sometimes, and they are a mess and a half. But they know each other, they know each others pain and sadness and I think once they got back together they’d settle very easily into a care routine. Both of them are carrying the weight of countless consequences and mistakes and hardship on their shoulders. Pain is just a side affect that comes with carrying so much baggage, but it’s a little easier to manage when they have each other for support. I do think some of it would get easier over time, and my wish for them is that they can move somewhere just outside the city, maybe by a lake. Far enough away that things are quiet, but not so far that they would completely leave the hero gig behind. I agree with the consensus that neither of them could fully quit. Tim would just sink into the background, but Steph would be out there in the field for many years. Justas long as they have somewhere safe and comfortable to return to, I think they’ll both be just fine. Plus smooches are the best fallback medicine for all ailments and we all know that they never run out of those. 😘💋

THANK YOU FOR THIS ASK! More than half of this was not anything to do with chronic injuries but fuck it. We’ve tapped into the hurt/comfort section of my brain and there is a lot of material there to work with. Idk when you sent this in but I hope it wasn’t too long ago. I hope this answered more questions than you ever intended to ask. 💜❤

#TimSteph #tim drake #stephanie brown #robin iii #spoiler #robin iv #red robin #batgirl #batfam #batfamily #dc comics #dc #batman #personal #ask tbp

[weaselbeaselpants]

I have a lot to say and not enough time to say it. It hurts, but ya’ll know what this is about so if you want my full fandom retrospective opinion thing guys, here.

I’ve been following Vivienne’s art and career since I found her on dA in 2009. I’ve basically grown up with her and have a wide range of opinions up and down her collective work. I must stress that I do not know her as a person and no matter how critical I get in my personal time if I somehow met her in real life or converse with her online again (like, back in the day we went back and forth. She was pretty nice to me), I’d be humble and congratulate her for her success.

Critique does not, EVER equate to attacking people.

But

the reason I don’t call myself a VivziePopVivzmind-fan is the exact same as to why I don’t like the proud use of ‘anti’. Let me try and explain -

The vast majority of Viv fans are just that: fans. Viv’s one of their favorite artists and they’re happy for her and obviously defensive when some mouth breather pops into their fan discussion calling her and all of them trash. Quite a lot of the Hazbin fans I know in my circle of friends are all pretty accepting and agree on the problematic notions and implications of her work.

HOWEVER, there’s a vocal minority in the VivziePop fandom that were and still are toxic. Their specific interest in Viv back in the day was toxic...and now that she’s moved on into a successful career I doubt they’ve gone away, considering the things I’ve heard. These people - they’d flood Viv’s comments sections and stuff with messages like they were talking to her when they weren’t and they’d unironically call her a god in a way that feels like gaslighting, ex: “I’ll NEVER be as good as you Viv! My art is just sooooo unpopular oh god you are incredible no one will ever like you as much as meeeee”. It made me uncomfortable. It made me not want to be around her because these people took Viv’s role in their lives so seriously and their demand for her attention...it struck a nerve.

These same fans have been around long enough to see actual shitlords - the likes of Kiwifarms and tapatalk wikis - come in and actually harass Viv. Viv’s been sent revenge porn by sick freaks who think they’re funny and believe she deserves it. No. In my non-name fan bystander opinion, Viv’s got some shit to work on, but no one deserves raperevenge porn. EVER. It was genuinely bad and yes Viv and her base have every reason to NOT TRUST these communities. Unfortunately, when these incidents happened, these particular fans took it upon themselves to gatekeep the fandom and act like Viv’s unofficial guard against any kind of decenting opinion of her, all without her say so.

((to the critics who will be all “but Viv or Faust said THIS to their fans-”, like I said, Viv’s far from perfect but regardless of how much she prolly wanted people to side with her I’m gonna guess that she didn’t want people sending transphobic death threats to DollCreep. Again, and this is coming from a bystander here, I have a feeling Viv knows about some of the toxicity but doesn’t know how/want to address it - which is a conversation all it’s own.))

This particular breed of VivziePop “fan” holds so much toxicity in her fandom(s). They aren’t the only cause, but they’re there. They feel entitled to her attention and her approval. They creep me out. Having spoken to other much-less critical admitted fans of Viv around me, these fans appear to creep everyone else out and put the rest of the fandom on edge. They’re gatekeepers. They’re creeps. Like the bronies and SU fans of yestertodayyears, they know harassment exists and that people have crossed the line - so they think any means is necessary to prevent that is automatically good. I could pile together all the incidents and folks who’ve had bad runs ins with this aftershock of Viv-obsession, but I do have a life of my own and this post is already stupid long so I’ll just list out the biggest examples and provide receipts when asked.

Critical blogs have gotten RAPE and death threats because they don’t like Viv’s art. HonestZoophobiaCriticisms, a blog I interracted with back in the day, def got one. Now Viv’s opinion of crit-blogs is that they’re “bad takes” but I can assure you she doesn’t want that shit being said on her behalf.

I’ve seen young artists get blacklisted from sites and forums cause they so much as post a redesign. Viv and co get told through the grapevine that someone’s making hatespeech and so preemptively block said person (prolly cause they’re in the middle of WORKING and can’t deal right now) only to find out after the fact that no, it was just a kid drawing their version of her characters. There’s serious miscommunication issues within the fandom about who’s ‘good’ or ‘bad’ and once you get the actual staff involved in this game of telephone you’re begging for trouble. The problem acknowledged, however, it’s souly from the “Viv never did anything wrong camp”. No word is said about how ugly the fandom is under the surface it’s all one type of person’s fault and not complicated’. Blah

I’ve only ever had ONE obsessive ‘fan’ who’d stalk me, mock me, and then redraw my art just to get attention from me. That shit fucked with my head. As a follower hundreds of miles away from Viv who’s agreed/disagreed with her through the years - I absolutely believe her when she says she hates ‘creeps’ and that she doesn’t want anyone in her fandom spreading hate on her behalf. It’s the one thing about her I’m POSITIVELY sure of. Whether she believes that said underlying harassment exists and/or is even a problem within her fandoms is anyone’s guess. That’s not what I’m here for. I’m here to write stupid blog entries like this, talk about fandoms and media and how they and the real world affect one another, and rb fan art I like. I’m cautiously optimistic fan with a side of salt.

Mixed opinions and critique within a fandom CAN and SHOULD exist. Hazbin Hotel has been greenlit by a studio! It has a product line of merchandise you buy. Helluva Boss is getting eight more episodes this coming year (yeeee:3yeeee). Two of Viv’s properties are now products. Nothing is immune from critique. And in critique you will find a lot of people who are not ‘nice’. Critique or analysis doesn’t have to be nice. There will be, in Viv’s words’ ‘bad takes’ on her writing. Maybe they will be actual CinemaSins-styled bad takes or maybe Viv is just mad that people don’t love and feel inspired by her characters the way she wants them to - it’s a fact she’s going to have to get used to.

((TBH, I’m pretty sure she’s already realized that criticism of all types need to exist. It’s just that, again, her and the SpindleHorse staff are kind of overwhelmed by all matter of takes and opinions coming their way they kinda can’t deal weeding out the fair ones from the assholes, so she lumps them all together.))

Shitposters, ironic fans, unironic fans, critical fans, just critics of Hazbin and Helluva CAN and WILL exist. They should exist and not feel threatened by the megafandom. There are people out there who are one step further and rightfully bothered by Hazbin/Helluva’s use of incorrect symbols, portrayal of certain topics, and the response by creators. These people have strong opinions and are actually disgusted by Viv. They deserve to exist too and should not be vilified because, like me, they’re commentary doesn’t consist of anything personal towards the people at Spindlehorse or the fans of her works. They can rant, they can be professional, they can be petty and they can be fair. But they will exist. You have to deal with it.

I am an ADD/OCD ridden autistic woman with serious anxiety issues who has no one to talk to half the time and so only HAS my fandom to communicate with. But that’s just it - it’s a fandom. A community. You have to learn to not think souly of yourself and of others in a community. A fandom doesn’t exist just for you or any one person. You have the right to be angry and defend or be offended. And it’s in the spirit of that that I ask, prrraaaaaay even, that I please

NOT BE CALLED AN “ANTI-ANTI” for not liking the moniker?!

I DON’T TO BE AN “ANTI”. Not ironically, not unironically. ‘Anti’ should be for politics and shit like pedophiles, necrophiles, nazis, serial killer stans, Trump, racists, antisemites, terfs, animal abusers, rapists, and antivaxxers. Anti should only come into critical media analysis when these ethical issues follow suit IN TO fandom discussion. ((EX: Anime and MLP proudly waving their cp and non-con into the public eye; Hazbin appropriating cultural symbols which are not satanic; Basically anything that concerns John K or Butch Hartman.))

If your DNI list unironically consists of the entirety of one fandom:  CONGLATURATIONS! You have done the exact same thing these particular creepy Viv fans have done: monopolize the conversation. And yes, people I’m referring to, IT’S STILL A PROBLEM EVEN IF YOU’RE FIGHTING RACISM/SEXISM/HOMOTRANSPHOBIA.

There are hundreds of Vivziefans who ARE more critical, accepting of faults, interested in discussion and especially rewrite and redesign stuff who would LOVE to engage with you and give you a follow. There’s hundreds of people who no doubt agree with you!

But the thing I’ve seen these very proud AntiHazbinVivzieHelluvaWhatever blogs do is lash out at fans for continuing to like Viv and consume Viv’s art in a healthy way. What the actual fuck is your problem?

I get it. Say a crazy Hazbin fan gets on your case for even SUGGESTING Viv could be homophobic ((”SHE’SBIANDWORKSWITHGAYPPLblahablahblah”)). They get in your face, make some callouts, try to rile up support against you, leave disgusting harassment throughout your social media? Absolutely ban worthy. After that it’s perfectly understandable why you don’t want to engage with anything HHHBZPVivzierelated because you’re so fucking tired of being labeled an abuser or “just jealous” for having an opinion on a show you don’t like. I’m with you!

But,

A fan agrees that something in the canon is bad or that Viv did something they don’t like?

A fan likes your silly shitpost meme?

A fan asks if they can like Hazbin and follow you at the same time? 

A fan does fan art of something you don’t like?

If your response to any of these ^^^ things is to get LOUD and accusatory, Vivsplain them about how they’re an absolutely awful person to ever question YOUR opinion, or just block them without a second thought? You’re a petty, vendictive shit and you also need to learn to let things go. I’m sorry but you do. As I already said, Viv’s work is a brand at this point, not just the work of a singular person. As such, there are gonna be mixed opinions and you can’t judge every single one of these people by what they like. You’re a shitty critic with a shitty attitude and yes that will demean the value of what you’re saying. This is bad because, if you’re trying to point out how Angel Dust’s abuse IS handled terribly; gay rep in Viv’s work is weak and terrible; the show appropriates closed practices; the fandom makes excuses for predatory artists and creepy behavior and individuals who have sketchy pasts - I’M WITH YOU. WE NEED TO BE TALKING ABOUT THIS SHIT. JUST BECAUSE THESE ARE ADULT CARTOONS SET IN HELL MEANS THERE SHOULD BE ANYTHING CLOSE TO 2013 PONY-TUMBLR. <<<---- this shit is as important to me as it is to you and I really don’t like being called an abuser or apologist for saying “hey maybe blowing up at ppl for the shows they like ISN’T the way to go about this”. 

But I have, just like the good old days of 2015 Zoophobia of yore, been blocked because I admit to being tired of ‘Anti’ being equated to ‘critical’. Same with hater.

Critical DOES NOT = Anti+Hater. I’m fucking tired of people saying it does and I’m tired of people taking up the term as some weird form of fandom reappropriation. It’s stupid.

Tl;dr: Once upon a time, I was in a budding fandom for something I liked made by an indie artist I watched on dA. I wanted to be a bigger fan than I was already, but was told by toxic people within said fandom that I couldn’t be part of it for reasons they’d made up in their head about my ‘motives’ against Viv. My admiration for Viv or what I liked about Zoophobia didn’t matter because I thought the story was really rushed and people weren’t being truthful with how they really felt about it - ergo, I HAD TO GO. 

Flash forward 8 years later- My opinion of Viv’s body of work has changed but I still find myself in love with her style and some of her characters. I want to be on a forum or service that gives a healthy look at the problems there are with this series and fandom...and I’m met repeatedly by petty bs where people are again at each other’s throats. And yes, I do think it’s causing more harm than good especially when you insist there’s a “x person shouldn’t be trusted” mentality when fighting actual fucking racist, xenophobic, predatory bullshit.

#vivziepop #vivziepop critical #vivziepop drama #hazbin hotel #hazbin critical #hazbin hotel critical #critical hazbin hotel #anti anti #antis #anti hazbin hotel #cause I want both sides of this debaucle to see this and I'm tired #K?

[unicyclehippo]

for a prompt like. jes goes to bed early and beau figures she’s just talking to the traveler, when she goes up she hears her talking to marion about beau and she’s just like oh. in my head it was sending but more content if they’re in nicodranas.,, idk u decide! idk how to sign this off so.,, may your microwave work for the foreseeable future :) okaybye!

they’ve been in town for a couple days and it’s great, it’s really great. nott is veth again and she’s all but disappeared with yeza and luc, spending all her time with them on the beach and in their rooms, hearing all the stories luc has about everything he has seen—twice. jester is likewise absorbed in spending time with her mum and so it’s just beau, caleb, fjord, yasha and cad. which is actually most of them but it feels odd, missing their loudest members. they spent the day—last of the three they set aside for a small vacation before orly is set to take them east to the volcano—at the beach, mostly, and then in a bookstore for a faintly smiling caleb, even though they all smell of seaweed and salt and they’re leaving sand behind them wherever they go. when he’s content and the books hidden in fjord’s bag of holding, they lose themselves in the warren of winding streets and find the diviest of bars to drink in until the whole world is warm and slightly blurred and they fling arms over shoulders and walk in a stumbling lockstep back to the chateau, not nearly drunk enough to forget the way back, not drunk at all. just—content.

jester meets them at the bottom of the steps, her hair in a new style that makes beau blink and then wink each eye in case that’ll help her focus.

‘you - changed your hair,’ she blurts.

caleb, whose shoulders her arm hangs around, staggers when she lurches forward a step.

jester lifts her hand to the short ends, runs it through the shorter curls. it’s been cut into a sweet bob, one that frames her heart-shaped face and—

‘is it bad?’ she asks, nose crinkling with worry.

beau blinks stupidly at her. ‘no,’ she says.

jester waits. then, ‘oh. okay.’

‘looks good, jessie,’ fjord calls. he looks suspiciously put together and beau wonders if it’s a paladin thing or if he’d been smart to let her win their drinking contest. she’s still thinking about it, and grinning because it had been a good, fun night, when he asks gently, ‘ready for tomorrow morning?’

‘oh. well, yes and no. i’m excited to go to traveller con of course but,’ she catches her bottom lip between her teeth. shrugs delicately. ‘i always miss my mama.’

there’s a round of nods.

beau stares at jester’s curls. her fingers burn to touch them, to feel if the curls are actually heavy or if it’s just the way they fall, if they’re as soft as they look.

‘we should—get to sleep,’ caleb says, and the words slur the slightest bit with alcohol and a weighted accent. ‘jester, the hairdresser must be a transmutation wizard. they have changed you,’ he says, and then laughs a quick laugh, which he quickly contains. but his eyes are happy and that has everyone laughing too.

‘that’s a terrible joke,’ jester tells him. ‘go to bed, all of you. and caleb—teleportation circle for tomorrow’s spells.’

‘ja, ja, i will remember.’ he taps the side of his long nose. ‘i remember.’

he and fjord and caduceus begin to climb the steps to their room. yasha makes excuses oddly fast to follow, and beau catches her eyes as she slides behind jester. yasha shoots her a look beau can’t decipher and the woman must realise that because she sighs, smiles, and continues on up the steps.

‘did you have fun tonight, beau?’

‘i missed you.’ jester eyes widen slightly. beau hurries to explain. ‘not that it’s not cool that you spent it with your mum, of course you should do that, we all know you miss her heaps which is - wow - really nice, actually? and she loves you so, duh. it’s just,’ beau shrugs, and she thinks maybe she’s a little more drunk than she originally thought because the slow clumsiness of it is catching up, makes her feel a little awkward in her own feet. ‘it’s different without you an’ nott. veth. i guess it’s not as fun for you ‘cause you don’t drink but there were card games you woulda liked. and it’s—we were just hanging out, y’know? ‘s’not the same without you. nicer when you’re there.’ she smiles then, and when jester just stares at her, she smiles wider, trying to push all the sincerity as she can into it. jester loves nicodranas and her mum, beau knows, and she’s not afraid that jester will stay behind, certainly not so close to traveller con, but beau thinks it’s not a bad time to remind jester that actually they all really, really adore her and she was missed.

the re-doubled smile must work because jester blinks a few times and then returns the smile.

‘beau,’ she says teasingly, ‘you’re so sweet when you’re drunk.’

‘i’m not that drunk.’

‘you’re pretty drunk,’ jester tells her with faux solemnity. ‘want me to take you to bed? i mean, to bed! like, to your bed to sleep.’

beau grins. ‘you’re blushing.’

jester scowls. ‘no.’

‘mhm.’ she steps closer. taps jester’s cheek. she’s gentle about it, pushes all her attention to it so she doesn’t drunkenly jab her hard. it has the effect she intended—soft, not painful—and one she didn’t, in that she feels with perfect clarity how soft jester’s cheek is, the warmth of her flush. she lets her finger drop. wavers a little where she stands only a few inches from jester. ‘um. i can make it,’ she tells jester. ‘you came down for cookies, right?’

jester frowns. ‘how did you—‘

‘not as drunk as i look,’ beau tells her cheerfully. ‘we definitely caught you out, you were trying to be sneaky ‘bout it. it’s after dinner and you’re better about sweets when you’re with your mum. an’ you were talking about ‘em this morning.’ jester stares up at her, shakes her head slowly. she looks confused, and really pretty, and beau is filled with sudden warmth at the idea of knowing someone as well as she knows jester. ‘have fun, drink some good milk. you would’ve hated the bar, the milk was bad.’

‘you had some?’

beau shrugs. ‘i ordered one for you, forgot you weren’t there. we all drank some.’ she pulls a face. then kisses jester’s cheek, presses her own flushed cheek to jester’s, who holds very still.

then, beau carries herself happily up the stairs and to jester’s room, collapsing boneless to the bed.

//

her head feels like it’s been filled with angry bees when she wakes. that might be the dream she’d had. her mouth tastes like she licked a dirty boot, too. disgusting.

if she holds herself very still, though, she can ignore all of that and maybe, maybe, fall back to sleep.

just as she thinks about it, beau knows it’s not gonna happen. her neck cricks and her bladder screams from the pressure and so with a groan she rolls to the side and carefully stands. her headache pounds a little more forcefully but it’s far from the worst she’s ever had. a little water and she’ll be grand.

speaking of water.

beau adjusts her pants back into place, wipes wet hands absently on her shirt as she leaves the washroom, steps out into the hall. it’s early still and the chateau is still. quiet. faint music and conversation lifts up to jester’s level from the one below and beau follows it like she’s caught.

by the time she has come down the stairs, she knows it’s marion’s room, and knows the voices are hers and jester’s. she thinks about turning away but the sun has started to lift and she knows jester hasn’t started to pack. how she had managed to scatter her things literally everywhere across the room beau can’t begin to understand. she’ll peek in, remind jester about it, head down for an early run on the beach maybe. and breakfast. the chateau does a damn good breakfast.

‘—don’t know what to do about it.’ jester, beau’s mind supplies. distressed.

‘what do you want to do about it?’ marion. decidedly not at all distressed. amused?

‘i don’t know,’ jester wails. ‘why can’t this be easy?’

‘the worthwhile things in life rarely are, little sapphire.’

beau grins. jester will hate being told that. her grin widens when she hears jester grumble a reluctant agreement; in her mind’s eye she can see her clearly, nose crinkled, grumpy face on, strewn over one of her mother’s fainting couches maybe.

‘can’t you just tell me what to do?’ jester wheedles. ‘you know everything!’

‘about sex, perhaps. about love? not as much as i would like.’ the room is quiet for a moment, and beau thinks her suddenly racing heart will give her away. love? they’re talking about love? ‘matters of the heart always seem simple from the outside. when you’re the one tangled in it, it seems impossible, doesn’t it?’

jester makes a pitiful sound of agreement.

beau nearly does too.

‘well, what do you think then? even if you’re on the outside?’

‘i think... that you could do far worse.’

‘mama.’

‘what do you want me to say, jester?’

‘the truth!’

‘the truth?’ marion asks in an arch tone, and oh beau is less familiar with her but jester is not so removed from her mother that she can’t imagine it. the cool look, the raised brows, the pursed lips as the expression coalesces into one simple question—are you sure?

‘please, mama.’

‘very well. i don’t think you would have come to me all in a flutter if you weren’t feeling something. and you obviously hold her in high regard, or you wouldn’t have spent all of the last two days talking about her.’

‘i didnt—not all,’ jester denies, weakly.

‘you spoke of her a lot, my darling,’ marion tells her gently. a moment passes, then, ‘i think you enjoy her attention. i think you care for her very much. and i think you know how she cares for you. didn’t you tell me you thought she was going to kiss you?’

‘you should have seen the way she smiled,’ jester whispers. ‘beau was—‘

the mention of her name breaks the spell beau was held by, frozen in place listening to the conversation play out. guilt mingles hot with hope and fear, churning in her gut, but she manages to step back softly, and again until she reaches the stairs. she takes the next flight quietly before all but sprinting down the rest, flying out the door.

a run. a run along the beach. she’ll forget all about this and when she comes back to breakfast, she’ll be ready. she won’t encroach on jester, she won’t upset her with what she had hoped had been subtle. she’ll be better about it.

the sand crunches beneath her boots, the tide washing it harder underfoot than the soft white dunes, and beau runs.

#cr tag #prompt fill #tagging my stories

[secondgenerationnerd]

So I’ve had a few people send in asks because they’ve had a bad day or panic attacks, looking for something soft/sweet/fluffy to make them feel better.

First, thank you for feeling safe enough to disclose that and for reaching out. I have panic attacks and know how bad some days at work can be. So thank you for reaching out and trying to connect and not shutting yourself away from the world. It’s scary to do and I’m proud of you for doing it ❤️

Second: I write with a lot of characters (clearly) but I thought if there is a character you really connect with, you might want to see what their version of self care is.

Obviously this is only for my version of the characters, nothing official. I will do Omega squad first and then you can request other characters self care routines as you like ❤️

As always, be kind to yourself and drink water ❤️

Omega squad self care go-to’s:

Jai: Kinda cliche, but Jai goes running. It’s the easiest way for him to clear his head. Before his run however, he puts whatever sheets are on his bed in the washer and puts clean ones on. So when he gets home (usually with his favorite take out order) he can shower real fast and relax in bed. He has a few movies recorded that he’ll watch. There’s times Lian will be there, usually taking time for herself, and she’ll play with his hair while he relaxes. 

Lian: Music is a huge part of her life, including her self care. She has a couple of playlists for different moods she might be in. While journaling isn’t her thing, she does have a notebook filled songs about anything that’s bothering her. Makes it easier to address. Once she’s tired of writing, she’ll usually watch something on her phone or read one of her favorite books. She’ll also have some tea through out the day.

Milagro: She has a basket filled with bath salts, bath bombs, hair masks, face masks, lotions, etc. When she takes time for herself, she’ll run a hot bath. Puts a face mask on and wraps her hair up and out of the way before sliding into the water. She focuses more on the water relaxing her muscles, the smell of the salts or bath bomb. Then will rinse off, wash her face, and put on clean clothes.

Colin: he has a weighted blanket his friends got him for his birthday one year. It helps a lot on the days he’s hurting more than normal. He’ll turn on an audiobook or a play list, turn the lights off, turn the air down, and just curl up in his bed all day, in a place between bein awake and being asleep. He keeps a water bottle close by and drinks from it most of the day. 

Jon: Jon’s can depend on the weather. If it’s clear skies, he’ll go flying by himself for a while just to clear his head. If it’s too windy but otherwise nice, he’ll go hiking. He likes being outside and not having to tune out every little noise. Of course when weather is really bad, he will stay inside and cooks/bakes. Ma told him once that ‘good food leads to a happy soul.’ Usually he makes one of Ma’s recipes, because it reminds him of days with her, Pa, his parents, and brothers cooking together and laughing.

Mar’i: While she has her yoga, Mar’i also does a lot of gardening. She enjoys taking care of something and seeing it flourish with the effort she puts into it. There’s a few plants that are from Tamaran that she works hard to keep alive on Earth, but it’s still rewarding. Once she’s got everything taken care of, she’ll take a shower and listen to her favorite songs as she does yoga. 

Damian: he has a few things he does. One is sharpening and cleaning his katanas/knives/swords. It’s about the routine and knowing what step needs to come next. Another is going for a run with Ace and Titus or taking them to the park. He also sketches, often outside when weather permits. He has a few of those drawing prompt books that his teammates got him over the years, and he has bookmarked a few for his rest days. Lastly, he meditates. A lot. Everyday. It’s a way for him to address whatever he’s been holding back all day and let any agitation go.

Irey: As messy as her brain can get sometimes, Irey’s version of self care is cleaning. It might just mean cleaning her room or the lab or the kitchen. Once it’s in order, she’ll light a candle and make some tea for herself. Then will relax on the couch or her bed with whatever book she’s been reading, enjoying her time alone. She’s been known to fall asleep on the couch, book in hand, cold tea on the coffee table. 

#mar'i grayson #lian harper #damian wayne #irey west #jai west #jon kent #milagro reyes #colin wilkes #omega squad #self care