#once this week is over i'll hopefully be able to create a bit more in general

[andromeda-nova-writing]

Unpacking in the Infirmary

Fem!Reader

Summary: Restock day in the Infirmary has always been important for those who live in the Fortress. Especially with it being that place to go if something were to happen to an inmate or one of the staff members. With the amount of times Wriothesley has gotten hurt over the years, it's not surprising he ended up in there on one of those restock days. Though he didn't think he would also help with unpacking things as well.

Words: 3,038

AN: Once again I wrote a majority of this on my phone. I honestly can't believe how much I've written on my phone this year already. Hopefully, this doesn't become a major habit. Thank you @milkstore for reading over the fic. You caught so many mistakes due to my phone thinking capitalizing mid-sentence is a normal thing to do.

Warnings: Blood, Minor Injuries, Cleaning a wound. I personally wouldn't consider it too detailed but if you find any of that uncomfortable please go check out one of my other Wriothesley fics.

“You two should go take your lunch break already. I ate a late breakfast.” Y/N lifted a box of supplies from the surface and placed it on the table. Restock days had become important for her to be there for. It was easier to have someone who was not a Melusine to do any heavy lifting.

“You look tired. Are you sure you don't want to take a break now?” Sigewinne asked. Although her ask was more of telling her to take a break.

“I'll take a break when you or Ottnit get back. I promise.” She reassured Sigewinne. “Plus if we time breaks right we can get this done fast.”

Ottnit looked at Y/N before looking at Sigewinne. “She has a date.” She guessed.

Y/N rolled her eyes hiding a small smile. “Three days from now.” She answered before giving the real reason. “I promised I'd help my mother move her art studio into her new house after work.”

“It's more reason to take a break. You could have requested someone to take your place today.” Sigewinne reasoned.

“I know but I wouldn't have been able to give you those stickers for another week. It's been pretty peaceful down here lately. Let me have work as an excuse to see you two.” Y/N looked back to the box and grabbed a boxcutter to rid it of tape. “Just go enjoy lunch. You're just delaying how long till I take a break.”

Sigewinne accepted fate not wanting to argue it creating more of the delay. She and Ottnit left the infirmary for lunch. The room was left quiet while Y/N took inventory on the restock.

All the things that needed to be under a lock had been put away already. Next would be anything they kept out in the infirmary that should be easy to grab. Lastly, restocking the various first aid kits that were around the Fortress. Any mobile ones had been brought in already in the morning. The large stationary ones would be the last thing for today or one of the first things in the morning.

It was mindless work to her at this point. Open the box, check the inventory slip in the box, count to see if the amount matches, and mark off on the checkbox of what was requested if it matches. And if it didn’t, make a note. It was always easy to fall into the rhythm of this work.

Though a bit annoying that the monthly restock day had to line up with her mother's art studio move. There really wasn’t much she could do about it since she wanted to be there for both. Say she did request someone else to go down to the fortress instead of her. Y/N could imagine her coworkers on the surface asking if something was wrong with her and Wriothesley’s relationship. And as funny as it was to watch some of the older ladies try and make threats about if he dared hurt her, there really was no reason to rile them up with nothing.

Y/N finished up the box she had been working with. It was just bandages of different sizes. Luckily everything was all in there. She picked the box back up off the table and placed it within the pile of boxes that had already been checked. She picked up a new box, beginning to repeat the process all over again.

She lost count on the box filled with sterilized gloves when she heard the all-so-familiar knock at the wall. It was a firm but gentle knock that echoed throughout the infirmary.

“Hey.” Wriothesley introduced himself as he made his way down into the room. “By any chance is the hydrogen peroxide already out?”

“The current bottle doesn't have a lot in it but it is out. What happened?” Y/N turned away from the box and moved to get out what he asked for along with some cotton balls and bandages, opting for what was already out in the infirmary.

“There was a fight that broke out and I went to break it up. One guy was upset I was breaking up the fight, so he tried taking a knife out on me. I broke a knife. Now the guards got an eye on the two of them.” Wriothesley explained. He was peeling off the blood-soaked wraps that were around his right hand.

Y/N blinked. “You can't say you broke a knife so casually.” It was moments like that where she knew she still wasn't fully used to his behavior. It didn't matter how long she had known him before they began dating, it wasn't normal to hear anyone say they broke a knife in a fight. She moved into washing her hands.

“No, ‘Are you okay’?” He threw the wraps away in a bin that was meant for Anything that came in contact with any sort of bodily fluids. Also known as the bloody cotton and bandages bin to most of the Fortress. All because they were however many miles under the ocean didn't mean they got to skip important procedures to help keep things safe.

Y/N rolled her eyes. “Oh, I'm sorry.” She spoke sarcastically as she dried off her hands. “Your Grace, does your wound cause you great pain? Whatever will I do now that you are gravely injured?”

“Gravely! Shit. It's just some cuts on my palm. Where did you get ‘gravely’ from? It won't kill me.”

“Oh, so you can handle it yourself.” She teased as she pulled gloves on getting ready so she could examine the wound.

“Some nurse you are. I thought going to the infirmary was supposed to be welcoming.”

“That's what you get for asking a pharmacist to be a nurse. I'm nowhere near as welcoming.” She joked. “Go sit on the bed.” She moved fast grabbing a clean pair of tweezers.

“Already sitting down Miss.” He spoke in a smug tone she was all too familiar with.

“If you can recognize that you should already be sitting down I would hope you should recognize that you should be more careful.” She turned around and moved towards Wriothesley. Y/N grabbed his wounded hand. She began picking out any small shards of the knife that had gotten stuck within. Luckily not too many. None were deep within the palm as well.

“I can only try to be more careful so much. If you think about it, I helped you not have to deal with an inmate who had a stab wound on restock day. While everyone but you is out for lunch.” Wriothesley reasoned. He looked at the wound already wondering if the count of scars on his body was about to go up.

“I'll give you that.” Y/N finished up with the first part of cleaning up the wound. She had thrown any remnants of the knife in the trash. “You know you are very lucky that Sigewinne wasn’t here to fuss over you. If I had to listen to her ‘I helped raise you, the least you could do is be careful’ lectures while trying to count and move things around, I might go insane.” Wriothesley rolled his eyes as he laughed. “Yeah.” He drew out the word with a bit of tiredness. “I guess I should thank you for not telling her.”

Y/N raised her eyebrow as she began to dab the hydrogen peroxide onto some cotton balls. “I never said I wasn't going to tell her. If I remember right, which I know I'm remembering right, I still have to write this up in your medical file. No exception for staff. Even if you are the Warden, she’s going to find out regardless.”

“Shit.” It was half a response from the hydrogen peroxide touching the new wound and half from what Y/N had said. He thought he was more used to the sting of his wounds being cleaned by now. “Can’t you just let this slide?”

“You created more work for me on restock day and think I’m gonna let this slide. After I’m done with this I get to go move a whole art studio.”

“Don’t I get special privileges?”

“Everyone with a title is gonna get the same treatment from me. You forget that?” The blood had been cleaned off his hand. And with the wound clean she could begin focusing on wrapping up the wound on his palm.

“I was going for boyfriend privileges.” Wriothesley continued to try and wiggle his way out of Sigewinne learning what happened.

“I am on the clock and not on break so no special treatment. You lost special treatment the moment you walked into the infirmary. If it's serious enough to seek medical care, it's serious enough to be written in your medical file.” 

“Usually I'm very glad that you take your job seriously.”

“Cause it's my job and it would be inappropriate to change procedures just because the patient is you.” Y/N finished wrapping up his palm leaving him plenty of room to move his hand around but keeping the bandages tight enough to stay on throughout the day. “Change the bandages 3 hours from now. You can either do it yourself or have Sigewinne do it for you.”

Wriothesley moved his fingers around testing how much movement he would have. “Thanks, doll. You sure I can't get you to change it instead?”

“I just said I have to go move an art studio later.” She began putting away anything unused that was okay to keep before throwing everything else out. “Or were you not paying attention to what I was saying?”

“I was. You know I could go and help you if you want.” Wriothesley offered. 

Y/N looked at him, raising an eyebrow. “Art Studio. As in my mother's art studio.”

“Yeah. You managed to get a photo out of me and you've been saying that your mother wants to meet me. Every time you’ve tried to set up, something has always come up and if I go with you, then you won’t have to worry if I’m using my right hand or not.” He reasoned. It may have also been a bit of quick thinking to avoid disappointing Sigewinne over that he got hurt again. Two birds with one stone kind of thinking.

“But I was thinking like a dinner so we could all get to talk.” She threw out her gloves before moving to sit on the bed on Wriothesley’s left side. “How are we supposed to talk if we are just packing and moving boxes Ri?”

“I’ll just have to take you two out to eat after.” He offered. “I’m already going to be tired after this and I’m just going to be exhausted after helping her move. I’m not going to want to sit down somewhere for dinner.” Y/N argued.

“I could help, go pick up some food for everyone so you don’t have to sit at a restaurant.” He put his arm around Y/N pulling her closer and placed a kiss on her forehead. “Plus it’s my non-dominant hand that’s hurt so I can still help you.” 

“What if I’m so tired I don’t even want to talk while we eat?”

“I’ll just carry you to your apartment afterward if you are so tired. Quit worrying your pretty little head over it. You need the brain power for more important things.”

It was a well-needed reminder for her. Sometimes it was just too easy to get caught up in worry. “You must really like me a lot if you are willing to carry me like a sack of potatoes.”

Wriothesley laughed. “I was thinking more like a piggyback ride but if you want to be carried like a sack of potatoes, I can. We really should talk about how you not so secretly want me to manhandle you.” He teased.

Y/N rolled her eyes. “I have work.” 

“I’ll get you after your shift then. We can go up together.” He gave her a quick peck on the lips before standing up from the bed. “You can't go on about how much you want your mother to like me and when the perfect opportunity for a good impression comes up, try and stop me from meeting her.”

“But what if it ends up not being perfect?” She looked up at him. “I really care about you. I want my mother to like you. I want my family to like you.”

“Which is why I’m offering to help with a move. Even then if you keep planning for perfection, nothing will get done. You know that.”

“I know not everything can be perfect. I’ve made my peace with that. But I want this to be perfect.” She stood up looking at him. “I want something good for you outside of here as well.” 

“Don’t worry about things like that. Life is good for me now.” He sighed. “It’s not like anything is forcing me to be here all the time. I know there’s good outside. What's bothering you?”

She sighed. “You remember when I said I was volunteering as the person to come down here to help was just to try something new right?” Y/N started as she began to give the real reason.

“Yeah. It's kind of what we encourage here.”

“Well, I got out of a really bad breakup. And my family was just telling me that person wasn't good.”

“You never told me how bad.” He did remember a mention that she got out of a relationship around two and a half years ago when they first met. She never said much about it and who was he to press her about it back then? 

“I was engaged. I almost signed a lease on a new house with them when everything went down. I just feel like I got blindsided by the show they were putting on. If I listened to my family then everything would have been better for me.” She took a deep breath. “So if they like you, nothing like that will happen to me again.”

“And here I was thinking you were just worrying to worry.” Wriothesley shook his head at himself. “Look, I can't control how people are going to view me. And you can't control if your mother will like me or not.”

“I know that. I just want this to be good. I mean I wanted her to like you even before we started dating. You kind of started to become important in my life.” Y/N looked away from him. “Like I think even after I got that breakup, you were definitely part of the reason I stayed.”

“It's going to be okay. It may not be some storybook picture of perfection but it's going to be better if you try and focus on the good.” He placed his left on her shoulder trying to ground her back to reality. “What did you say a few weeks ago? I think you said she would steal a single mora to get thrown in here if she didn't get the chance to meet me at this rate.”

Y/N laughed. “Yeah. I had to tell her that's a horrible idea.”

“It's going to be okay.”

She nodded as she spoke. “Okay.” She looked into his eyes falling into the comforting gaze that looked back at her.

“I'll get you after your shift. I still have to fill out paperwork cause of that fight.” Wriothesley kissed her forehead. “I know it's easier said than done, but try not to overthink it.”

“And if I do?”

“Then we will have to find a way to stop you from thinking about that specifically.”

“It better not be by giving me work. Cause I'm going to be so tired tonight.” She looked at him, raising an eyebrow.

“I’m not cruel. I was thinking of making sure you aren’t alone so you don't fall back into your worries. At least so someone can pull you back out if you do.”

“Well, Sigewinne and Ottnit should be back soon. So I won’t be alone for too long.”

“You ate lunch already?” Wriothesley asked.

Y/N looked away again. “I ate a late breakfast so I was going to eat lunch once they got back.”

“In here?” He asked concerned. “What happened to only eating in here when there is only one person available?”

“I was actually going to go out to the cafeteria. I didn't bring anything down for lunch today.” It was a break from her normal habit, mostly because she forgot to grab her lunch before leaving her apartment in the city. The sandwich that she made that now sat in her kitchen would be dearly missed.

Wriothesley sighed. “Guess I'll have to take the important job of keeping you company during lunch.” 

“Don't you also have work?” She raised an eyebrow at him.

“For one, I’m in charge of this place. And two, I still have to eat lunch myself. Also, I think the Fortress can handle itself while I take care of you. I think people know well enough to only disturb me when I'm with you if it's important.” It was something that he noticed was happening long before the two of them got together. It was already common for people would keep their distance due to their various reasons. It must have been learned to give the two space after people had noticed that Wriothesley’s mood would sour when he had to leave for something that didn’t even require his attention.

“Makes me wonder what your definition of important is now.”

“At the moment, it's keeping you out of your worry spiral. Generally a mix of other things, but the only thing taking me away from you is if something requires my attention to be handled. You are at the top of the list at the moment.” Oh, she just wanted to be in his arms after that. 

“The top of the list?”

“Yes.” He nodded.

“Are these girlfriend privileges?”

Wriothesley laughed remembering what he said not so long ago. “You can call it that if you want. I would have done this for you regardless though.”

Y/N gave in, finally hugging him. Maybe things would be okay.

#genshin impact x reader #genshin impact #wriothesley #wriothesley x reader

[ronniescribbles]

Small Surprise (Compassion Day)

Severus Snape x Little!Reader

Rainbow Week 2022 (created by @whimsycreator)

468 Words 

You can read it on AO3 here!

"A little kindness can go a long way, and has a profound effect.” — Severus finds a small note in his book, planted by his all-too-kind little one.

A/N: Day two of Rainbow Week! I had to write for our favorite Slytherin grump♡ Severus deserves so much love though, the poor man, and I am here to give it to him.👏 I wanted to include a bit of his thoughts as well as 'yours', so hopefully I did alright!

A small note, that had been scribbled by little you the night before, floated onto the wooden table before him. You watched as the puzzled, but more accurately annoyed, professor froze in hesitation. Your heartbeat stopped as you analyzed his demeanor from afaf.

----------------------------------------------

You watched from across the dining hall as Severus squinted at the book he had started reading as a pastime in between classes. Quidditch season was in full swing – and with it began a whole slew of chaos from students and professors alike – and a good read had always been an enjoyable distraction for him. But something new awaited him on the page bookmarked the last time he'd picked it up. 

Severus certainly wasn't a man who received hand-written notes often, nor was he used to such a gesture. With his luck, this was just another unamusing prank from a Gryffindor unpleased with the weeks of detention they had earned themselves. Perhaps it was from a Ravenclaw, who often found cheeky ways to spite him for the corrections he made on their parchment assignments. Either way, these distractions had no place in his leisurely books, so he had no choice but to examine it closer. 

His bony fingers reached down to practically strangle the note with his grip. You watched from across the room as his usually stone-cold frown softened and both his eyebrows lifted in surprise. His eyes glanced across the piece of parchment, analyzing it closely. Well, that seems like a win to me, you thought as you strode over to greet him. 

"That book can't possibly be so good that you can't keep your nose out of it for even a lunch break, can it?" You teased as you swung your legs over the bench and plopped yourself next to him. "I mean, if it is, let me know - I'll have to steal it from you sometime and give it a read." 

A few minutes passed; it only seemed fair to allow the usually stoic man to gather his thoughts. When he finally spoke, Severus's voice came hushed and solemn. 

"Thank you." 

You knew you'd have to wait in order to hear his full gratitude, but the way he'd softened towards you spoke volumes more than what he would be able to express alone with you. His tired hand found yours, and in no time your fingers interlocked with his. If only every moment could be this way, you thought, so precious and yet fleeting all at once. 

How lucky were you, that just a hasty sketch from your time regressed could remind you both just how important you were to each other? It was a blessing to be able to touch this man so deeply with something so simple - one that you would cherish for as long as you possibly could.

#rainbow week #rainbow week 2022 #severus snape x reader #snape x reader #agere fanfic #agere fandom #age regression #sfw age regression #fanfic

[katy-133]

Animation Workshop with Katy133: Solo Booklet Edition

I have copied the instructions I wrote for the animation workshop I held back in May-August 2021. It includes 5 different exercises on animation. While I won't be able to host another workshop myself for the foreseeable future, I hope this text document can help people practice animation as a beginner, or as a veteran who wishes to do a refresher on the basics.

Week 0 of the Animation Workshop Summary:

Hi there! Going through the form submissions, this workshop is going to be teaching beginner level animation. Teaching the basics and learning the principles.

I wanted to give a quick talk about the syllabus I've planned out: I was thinking of, each week, giving some material to take a look at (videos, tutorials, and reference), and giving an assignment to try out that week. At the end of the week, we can look at everyone's work and give feedback on them. It would be five weeks/assignments in total, from a bouncing ball, to a simple character movement.

I want to make this convenient for everyone's schedules, so I will try to have everything done entirely in text instead of calls.

I will set up info on the first assignment asap (Hopefully tomorrow).

Assignment 1: Bouncing Ball

Intro: Hi animators! This week, I'd like to teach the fundamentals and share the 12 Principles of Animation. Learning these 12 principles will help you understand how animation is created, how to create animation, and how you can improve your animation. Don't worry if learning about all 12 at once feels a bit overwhelming--I felt the same when I started, but learning by doing will help you understand these principles more and more over time. It's a process.

Viewing material: Video 1) The Illusion of Life: A summary of the 12 Principles of Animation. https://vimeo.com/93206523 Video 2) 12 Principles of Animation Compilation: Another visual on the 12 Principles. Doesn't include verbal descriptions, but I'm including it in case you want to see another example of the 12 Principles. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pDVfNf5GvPg Article 3) The Wikipedia page for the 12 Principles: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twelve_basic_principles_of_animation Video 3) Clip Studio Paint Animation 101 | Zedrin: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3y8euAjlcXI&ab_channel=CLIPSTUDIOPAINT

Instructions:

Please watch Video 1 of the Viewing Material, above. If you are new to the 12 Principles of Animation and would like to learn more about a specific principle, take a look at Video 2 and Article 3, which goes into more detail on each principle. Also, if you're using Clip Studio Paint for this assignment, watch Video 4 for a tutorial.

For this assignment, I would like you to animate 3 different ball bounces: A rubber ball, a bowlingball, and a beach ball.

Focus on including arcs, squash/stretch, timing, and slow in/slow out. The reason why practicing a ball bounce is so useful in animation is because you are using simple shapes to learn the 12 Principles of Animation.

Recommended length: 1 to 4 seconds max for EACH video.

Frame rate: 12 frames per second or 24 frames per second

Recommended dimensions: 1280x720 or 1920x1080

Use the art program of your choice (Note: in your form submissions, everyone has access to Clip Studio Paint, and I'm familiar enough with it that I can help if you come across a technical issue. Feel free to use any program that allows you to export animation however--if we come across a technical issue, I'll do my best to look up solutions and find work-arounds).

If you have any questions or need help, please let me know.

Due date: 10th of May, end of day (your timezone). Feel free to contact me if you would like a due date extension.

Additional tips:

A bowling ball, being the most heavy, will not bounce across the floor or move much of a distance compared to the other balls.

A rubber ball will have the most squash and stretch, and move across the floor.

A beach ball is light and filled with air, so it will move more slowly and stay up in the air longer.

If you feel stuck, definitely look up reference of (liveaction) ball bounces. Animators often look at real life video footage on YouTube or film their own videos for reference.

Edit: Testing out the limitations of CSP, I've edited the recommended length to 1 to 4 seconds max. CSP Pro has a 24 frame limit per animation, so I recommend making the ball bounces 1 second long, at a framerate of 12.

Assignment 2

Hullo animators! This week, I'd like us to learn more about animating something that may be very useful for visual novels--Eye blinks!

I’d like you to animate 3 different eye blinks: Blink 1: Vanilla (a standard eye blink) Blink 2: Bouncy (a blink from a character who is excited or scared. The eyelid closes and then opens very wide, then quickly relaxes to a slightly less-open eye) Blink 3: Slow (a blink from a character who is sleepy or bored.) Please include both eyes (left and right) in the animations.

For the eye designs, I’d like them to include a pupil, the iris, eyelids, and the eye’s sclera (the white of the eye). This will allow you to think about the placement of these different parts of a real eye as your animating the blinks.

Viewing material: -Before starting the assignment, please watch this video, Animating Eyes: Character Blinks: A tutorial on animating a vanilla blink. While this is using a 3D character rig, the animator gives many useful tips on how the human eye works and how to apply that knowledge to an animated blink. Tip: If you want to look at his example animation’s frame by frame, you can pause the video on YouTube and use the hotkeys , and . to scrub through the frames. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0DimVO18ps&ab_channel=SirWadeNeistadt -The Owl House clip: This clip includes an example of a bouncy blink, just before she says, “Those are my dumb kids!” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i3eAJKxmJrg -I also found a video version of the blinking guy meme. A liveaction example of close-up blinking: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ivlx3psBPKE

Submitting: You can submit all the eyes together as 1 gif/video file, or have 1 file for each blink type. Framerates: 12 or 24. Number of frames per animation: No limit. Dimensions: Any; 1280x720 recommended. Due date: Tues, 18th of May. End of the day, your time. Edit: Extending the due date to Thursday, 20th of May. End of the day, your time. Thursday Edit: Monday, 24th of May 2021.

Additional tips:

Avoid "zombie eyes" (term for when the character’s eye is open, but you can't see the pupil/iris for a frame). -Generally, the body uses more effort to move the eyelid down (over your eye) than to move it back up (opening your eye) in an eye blink. Because of that, you’ll likely want to use less frames bringing the eyelids down than bringing the eyelids back up. -Do not have only 1 frame of the eyes completely closed--it makes the blink hard to register to the viewer because it's so fast. I’d recommend 2-3 frames of the eye completely closed in a vanilla blink. -Remember that you can look at reference footage to study blinks more. -Eye darts will add more life to your character. -The pupils shrink when they are scared and grow when they see something they like.

ALSO On the subject of "zombie eyes." There's a so-bad-it's-good animated film called Homeward (it's a film by Asylum Pictures ripping off Pixar's Onward) that has an example of some VERY noticeable accidental zombie eyes. 35:24 of this video: https://youtu.be/U5j4WL9Hijo?t=2124

Assignment 3: Wind

Now that we’ve been learning about eye blinks, lets try out another type of animation that I imagine would be useful in a visual novel: Thing blowing in the wind!

Instructions: I’d like you to animate wind blowing through hair, a flag, or a cape (your choice) as a loop-able animation (meaning, if the animation is exported as a gif, the animation replays from the beginning in a seamless way).

Before you begin, I’d like you to take a look at these two guides of animating wind. Afterwards, try out this method yourself. Guide 1) https://twitter.com/DanRoot_VGAS/status/1385239469494767619 Guide 2) https://twitter.com/Kekeflipnote/status/1385364088759463936

Submissions: In a gif or video format. Framerate: 12 or 24 frames per second. Dimensions: Any. 1280x728 recommended. Due date: 3rd of June, end of day (your time).

Week 4 Assignment: Lip Sync

Instructions:

Look through the viewing material below.

I'd like you to pick a short piece of audio dialogue (3 seconds maximum) to lip sync a character to.

Grab a copy of the audio clip (if you'd like help with doing this, link me to the audio and which part of dialogue you'd like, and I can use the program Audacity to make a recording for the assignment).

To keep the animation manageable, the maximum length of the lip sync should be 3 seconds (though the animation can be longer if you wish to add frames of pause before/after the character begins to speak).

The character you use to animate the lip sync can be as simple as you want (a stick figure with an oval head), but the mouth should contain top and bottom teeth and a tongue.

Animate lip sync of a character speaking the dialogue in the clip. Export the animation (see Tips header below for details on that). If you do not have CSP (or another animation program that allows audio importing) for this assignment, please let me know and we'll find a workaround for you.

Tips:

Note that (from my experience) CSP sometimes has issues exporting animation if the CSP file contains audio. A work-around for this is to 1) save your work, 2) delete the audio file, and, 3) export the animation. You can then send the audio to me as a separate file and I can combine the audio and the animation using the video editing program Kdenlive (of you can edit the audio and animation together yourself for me if you'd prefer).

Because people need to move their lips to form words a moment before they push out air to speak them, professional animators are sometimes told to taking the frames of lip sync and shift/move them 2 frames earlier than the audio.

The more open a mouth is, the less wide the mouth gets because it is being stretched open (example: "A" sound mouth is more open and less wide than an "E" mouth shape).

A closed "M/P/B" mouth shape should stay closed for two frames minimum before changing into another mouth shape. Otherwise, it can be hard for the viewer's eye to see/register the closed mouth shape.

Submissions: In a video format. If the file is too big for chat, you can send the clip to the temporary Google Drive folder (or in the DevTalk server if you'd prefer). Framerate: 12 or 24 frames per second. Dimensions: Any. 1280x728 recommended. Due date: 23rd of June, Extended to the 1st 4th of July, end of day (your time).

Viewing material:

The 2 attached lip sync charts, below. https://res.cloudinary.com/practicaldev/image/fetch/s--v1_xz_Aj--/c_limit%2Cf_auto%2Cfl_progressive%2Cq_auto%2Cw_880/https://thepracticaldev.s3.amazonaws.com/i/iubpy8p58bkfg7vwvxoh.jpg https://andrewduffycca.files.wordpress.com/2010/02/lipsync.jpg

An Introduction to Lip Sync (and Mouth Shapes) - Animation Theory (video, 5 mins) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h7U2YvmIMOo&ab_channel=DevonKong

If you need to learn how to import audio into CSP: How to work with audio in ClipStudioPaint! (video, 12 mins)https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XCtTRfZd6s0&ab_channel=GugartsAnimations

Week 5 Assignment: Inbetween Poses

Congrats everyone on finishing the fourth assignment, lip sync! Now you know the fundamentals of making a character speak dialogue!

This week, we'll be looking at the last exercise of the workshop: Animating a character's body!

Instructions:

-Decide on the starting frame and the final frame of your animation first. -Animate the inbetween frames in an interesting and dynamic way, using you knowledge of the 12 principals of animation. Do not animation the transition in a linear way.

Ideas for the starting/ending frames can be: -One body pose to a different body pose. -A body transformation where a human turns into an animal.

Tips: -Keep in mind that the focus of the exercise to to transition between the staring frame and the final frame in a way that isn't linear and instead is expressive and interesting. -Feel free to use stick figures (with strong action lines for the spine, arms, etc. See: Viewing Material, "Line of Action" links, below) as the focus is what you do with the character between frames. -Also feel free to use live action video reference, but keep in mind that animation can be way more exaggerated than live action, and that this exercise is encouraging you to exaggerate things between frames. -You can animate an entire body of a character, or crop the top half of them (if the majority of the posing is in that particular area of the body). -A fast action (like a baseball swing) can include smear frames (a frame where there is a blur overtop/alongside the fastest moving body part). See Viewing Material links, below.

Submissions: In video or gif format. If the file is too big for chat, you can send the clip to the temporary Google Drive folder in Pinned Messages (or in the DevTalk server if you'd prefer). Animation Length: 1 second minimum (can use several frames at the start/end that are the same as resting animation). Framerate: 12 or 24 frames per second. Dimensions: Any. 1280x728 recommended. Due date: The 22nd 29th of July 5th of August. This will be the final assignment and is the most challenging imho, so please let me know if you'd like and extension.

Viewing material:

Weird Frame in Naruto Explained! [in 1 minute!]. This video really sums up this week's assignment: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XaVaSnDKhUM&ab_channel=Pegbarians

Once again refresh yourself on the 12 principles of animation as you work on this assignment. Principles you can use to make inbetween frames more interesting include (but aren't limited to) are Squash and Stretch, Arcs, Follow-Through (such as an overshoot), and Exaggeration.

An image post on making a strong Line of Action: https://twitter.com/MatthewLuhn/status/1396900506501484544

Example video of animation with a smear frame: https://twitter.com/phenecly/status/1399057040463564802

Duck animation. Example of a body morphing animation: https://twitter.com/kloysius/status/1403092875357851652

This image breakdown by Angry Animator shows the transition between 2 poses (a head turn) using an antic up, an arc, and overshoot. https://i.pinimg.com/736x/ae/d6/01/aed6013e27a3b2f69f976e9098560233.jpg

Examples of each exercise by Katy133: -Bouncing Balls: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEQ91By7JNk -Blinks: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k21Y0d3l98A -Wind: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lj9wmzCF19I -Lip Sync: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=65pqTdkwWCA -Poses: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0iTEe0GjbXg

#my blender guides #reblog off #my animation

[1d1195]

I love your “geekiness”! You’re passionate about things and like who cares if it’s considered “nerdy”?! If you love it then really like that’s what matters!

And a peach sangria sounds so good ngl?! And yeah a whole lecture after an exam is BRUTAL and so mean lol my hot professor did that this week and honestly my heart broke a little😔 but he did look hot that day once again sooooo I guess I will let it slide 🤪

Omg are possibly doing a boxer AU?! HELLO?! Very excited for whatever comes from that inspo! I loved that you were able to create that anxious/suspense vibe though! It was so fun to read! AND I SAW HOW YOU WANTED TO END IT IN THE FIRST PLACE LIKE SAM GIRL YOU COULD HAVE ABSOLUTELY PULLED IT OFF!!!!!! That alternate ending would have been AMAZING TOO! It would have once again been unexpected but totally understandable since her stalker is actually insane?! And I feel like it would have been dramatic (in a good way) and I just know the angst would have it so well! Anyways I 100% support you going for it in future stories!!! I mean you were able to pull off like 2 kidnappings in protection so I’m sure you would have done great in this too! But this doesn’t mean I don’t love the ending that you posted any less!! Trust yourself bestie❤️

And thank you so much! My weekend has been good so far! I even bought a new book I hopefully can read! I hope yours is going well too!!!-💜

I started a book earlier in the week and read a good chunk of it this morning with my morning coffee, It's sunny around here for the first time in like 2.5 weeks so I have the shades open and no lights on and it's so nice! I woke up super early for a Sunday 😐 had a dream someone broke into "my" house (I am poor and rent an overpriced apartment) and woke up in a cold sweat. That's what I get for writing a stalker story. Anyway, I hope you get to read too and have a peaceful Sunday! 💕

I am not a wine-drinker. I'm hoping I'll turn 40 with kids and switch will go off and I'll start liking it more but I'm a sl*t for sangria of all types. Fall is always my favorite season and I'm honestly not a big drinker (I've got a lot of family hang-ups about it) but I think I could make an exception when it comes to apple cider sangria 🤭

Well yeah, you probs don't have a choice staying for hot-professor's lecture 😍 All the more, a good reason you left on Thursday.

I was thinking about my alternate ending this morning. We'll see. I think it would have been a little anti-climactic and it would have very strict guidelines to follow reading as it would only take place in the middle of part 8 and probs still end with her family showing up kind of thing if that makes sense. Like literally just swapping out the apartment scene with a restaurant scene. I don't think I've mentioned it before but I was very much inspired by the show The Night Agent while writing Protection so I feel like that's why I was able to pull off a few kidnappings in that one hehehe

I've been mulling over my boxer au for a while now. I've been trying to come up with a bit more substance to it but the bare bones are there. It'll be here soon I think 😉

xoxo

#💜 #dolcezza #protection #ding

[thingswhatareawesome]

1.6 thoughts, spoilery

i liked the trl continuation, it was a fun little mystery, and i like how spooky and creepy the abandoned space station areas were. kind of did that ambiance even better than the heliobi event areas. the critter stuff was v cute, and i liked it didn't take long to do, just a couple evenings for me. fairly simple but still fun.

rm is a fucking mad scientist. just fascinating how helpful and nice she's seemed, and how she's so calm, serene, graceful--but also obsessed and really WEIRD. not just wanting to create life, but an eminator of the swarm jfc what NO. good lord. also, the whole not giving a shit about her creations if they're not geniuses is uh, a tiny bit on the eugenics side so yeah.

constrasting her with ratio is interesting. he's arrogant, smarmy, cheesy, but is sort of an opposite in not wanting genius to be deified. yeah he hates dealing with stupid people, but it seems more like his attitude about it is to educate and spread knowledge, and so a non-genius can just do for themselves without needing geniuses. i wasn't expecting to like him super much esp with potential connections to ipc, but honestly he amuses me and rm scares the hell out of me now. so much for the so helpful person from the sim u.

have tried and cleared gold and gears I and II, attempted III twice only to fail on last boss both times (once messing with prop path, then using guide recommended remembrance). close the first time, super close the second time but a small mistake avalanched. went back to II, figure i need to do get clears using certain dice at that rank anyway, and i obv need to get more points for the track that buffs stats and such. have tried a mix of teams with fire mc and luocha--with combos of argenti, dhil, and jing yuan, then today with a recommended team of the first two and jl and dhil. when i'm ready to try III again i'll do that team then with abundance path instead, per the same guide.

idk this makes a little more sense than how swarm was presented? but once i get the erudition path i think i'll be able to go back and make sense of swarm better. i think it might feel easier in comparison maybe too. but yeah once i get clears on III idk if i'll go on to IV. definitely won't ever be bothering with V. my goal is really just the erudition path, not to be completionist, even with the rewards

(doesn't help i'm already v tired of this new sim u anyway, i don't like *having* to grind normal sim u every week as it is, at least it's not got 'finish in x turns' stuff like fh, but it still stresses me out a lot. and my brain does NOT do well with do x grind thing over and over and over and over x1000 when it takes a long time. grind calyxes? fine, takes minutes i'm done. sim u grinding taking what like 45m to an hour is like...god that sucks. esp if i try to do multiples. it's SO goddamned much time. i need to be able to do things in short bursts, or to have a long grind be like on you do it a couple times a week. not over and over every evening for who knows how long. ugh. gonna be hard to keep myself doing it but i want to actually get the path this time.)

put some work in on building blade, but it might go slower bc esp with g and g i need to finish caelus' main fire trace at the least if not all, maybe alternate him and blade main and stats for at least some variety on crimson calyx farming. hopefully i get done with that by the time ratio shows up @__@ looks like hanya and xueyi will be waiting a bit.

#please ignore my sr bs #1.6 spoilers

[marlaluster]

A new problem arose yesterday for me...

I'm having a new problem now where I'm having very light vaginal bleeding today and yesterday seemingly starting after I strained to make a bowel movement yesterday. I haven't had a period in just a little over two years, so I think I'm not supposed to have any vaginal bleeding at all anymore.

The bleeding has been an extremely small amount of bleeding, so that is a bit of a relief, but I'm hoping it doesn't get worse or happen often. If it gets worse or happens frequently, I guess I'll try to see a gynecologist I've seen once or twice before about uterine fibroids I had.

The vaginal bleeding happened once before a few weeks ago, but it was an even smaller amount of bleeding that time, so small I didn't have any blood in my underwear. I just saw some brown blood when I wiped myself after using the bathroom.

Yesterday I had to wear a small pad to catch the blood and keep it from staining my underwear.

Buddy, the entity who talks most often in my mind, said he is making me have the vaginal bleeding.

"Uh I am doing it. I have lots of things to tell Marla, but I'm not telling her. She is doing very well in regards to this world losing soon. Soon she won't have to be who isn't to have been," Buddy said as I wrote this post and when I kind of looked to him for a comment on the bleeding.

I have thought of things to write here about but when I have thought of things, I haven't written the ideas down, so I don't remember anything I thought of writing here about.

I feel very good about writing here. I think of it as a pleasant thing, so I will try to do it whenever I have something to write about.

"I can tell more about the bleeding. It's just something to say Marla cannot be. This is a world where she is not to have been, so things happen that would not happen to her like the vaginal bleeding," Buddy said without any prompting by me as I wrote here.

So Buddy is saying a slightly different reason for his making problems for me in this instance. He's saying he makes bad things happen to me because this world is an expression of that I am not to have existed, so things happen to me that would not happen if I was in a world where I was considered possible to exist as who I really am. Who I really am is one of several things in existence as who are to live in an ideal world.

Just to be clear, I gave Buddy his name. I try to think of simple and cute names for the entities who talk in my mind.

I've named another entity who talks almost everyday "Mobley." I named female entity "Zelda" because that name seemed to fit her character, at least how her character occurs to me.

Back to the vaginal bleeding: It's mostly painless, but sometimes it feels like I have some slight cramping. Hopefully it's nothing serious causing it. Buddy says it's not serious and I, for the most part, disbelieve in the health problems of this world as what people say they are.

I do believe Buddy and other entities create the issues for me that are considered health problems in this world.

Update: So I've been thinking and my plan is to avoid straining while making bowel movements in order to not have the bleeding again.

"Buddy thinks this is an excellent idea. That's all," Buddy said.

"You will," another entity that tells me it's in charge of how my bowel movements go said when I was about to write here that hopefully I'll be able to still have bowel movements if I don't strain or push anymore.

[talisidekick]

Tali Life Update 05/12/2023

Alright, sorry I've been a bit inactive, much has happened. I did a bit of polling around on a few private discords this last week and a bit, and got some people to look at my previous streams to give me some unbiased feedback. What I was told kinda just ... made me a bit upset for the oddest reason. I kind of knew the answers that were coming because I can see the watch metrics on my streams/videos. I just hated hearing it because I put work in to make a gaming channel but that's evidently not where my talent for entertainment lies.

The upsetting consensus is that any time I stream or make videos, me playing videogames is the part people enjoy the least. I started the YouTube channel and Twitch streams (when I did them) to get through the videogames I have but haven't played through yet as a way to doccument my HRT progress on a weekly basis. It should have set in sooner, but I was being stubborn: the Tumblr blog (here) with my autism fueled rants, info dumps, etc is more popular than my YouTube channel. As in:

YouTube:

Tumblr:

And my YouTube metrics mirror this with the most activity on any stream being when my face is front-and-center and without the Avatar. People don't come to my channel to watch me play videogames, they come to see me talk, rant, and share my opinions. I'm better at entertaining an audience by direct communication than I am through the co-experience of other media. In fact, I seem to have a degree of excellence at it.

Now don't get me wrong, I LOVE talking about the topics I do rant on. I enjoy spreading positivity and encouraging the acceptance of trans people. I love sharing what I've found and learned, and what I know. It's just frustrating that my other passion, that is gaming, is something I've tried hard at making entertaining but is so effortlessly beat out by the other passion I put no struggle into at all.

Part of what I want to do is make a safe communal space for trans people of all expressions, allies, and fellow queers of all identifications. I know there are many out there, but I want to add to that. That means consistent content creation. That means making enjoyable content. And if my playing through games isn't entertaining to the majority of viewers then I need to make more entertaining content to achieve that overarching goal of another safe space online.

I'd like to foster the same supportive community I've managed to create here on Tumblr over on YouTube. I've decided to bring my more popular content and the style of rants I know people on here enjoy from me to YouTube to do just that. That doesn't mean less action here, that just means my intent to schedule streams for Sunday might become a lot more relaxed and less game heavy. I've been working on one such video but I figured that rather than just change up the channel without notice I'd say something here because it's very possible the YouTube side of the whole "Tali Sidekick" name may get closer to the Tumblr side. In fact, I'm planning for that. So at least there will ve a bit of history to explain that.

Additionally, aside from all this, as you all know I've been accepting donations for my official name change through Ko-fi. I'd like to thank the 4 donors so far:

Wanpasu,

Em,

mihyo,

and Rhedyn.

Your combined efforts have raised enough to get the $50 CAD I need to get the photo copies of my identity doccuments (drivers license) notarized. This gets the ball rolling on the process, there's a $127~ filing fee and an $80 RCMP fingerprinting fee that I hopefully should just barely be able to cover. Getting reprints on my Birth Certificate, Marriage License, and my Drivers License updated will just be somethkng for down the road unless I'm lucky. So thank you so much for your support so far. And thank you to everyone who reblogged the donation post so far, and thank you to anyone who does. I'll update the goal once I submit the forms which hopefully should be tomorrow.

Thank you for reading all of this, and I hope you have a good day. Stay safe out there, I know for some of you the holidays are rough times, so here's me wishing you get all the small joys you need to get through it.

#talisidekick #talisidekick things

[harrybushelldesignblog]

Week 8 Capstone DES302

We are officially over halfway! As scary as a thought that is, I think my project and myself are both in good places. I have a clear vision for what I want to achieve, my prototypes are going well, and clear improvements are being made with each iteration. My report is also coming along as my project progresses, with the content presenting itself as it grows. Week 8 placed its focus on further iterating and prototyping, as well as the development of marketing tools and strategy. Due to being away for part of this week and the start of week 9, I knew that I had to get some physical prototypes done early in the week, as being away with hockey meant I wouldn’t have access to the tools available at the FabLab and home. With this in mind, planning and efficiency were crucial this week as I looked to shift my focus onto stuff I could do remotely, like marketing and research or working on the report. Knowing I was going away and planning accordingly to ensure I could still get work done has worked out surprisingly well, and although productivity has dropped a little bit, I still think I’ve got a solid amount of work done!

This week's reflection should be shorter than the novel I wrote last week. CARL is back once again to provide a needed reflection structure. Context-wise, I feel like I summed up a lot of it in the introduction. This week was split into two halves, with the first context focusing on further iterating and prototyping, while the other was focused on remote work - creating logos, research and planning. 

Again I’m going to mix the actions and results part of CARL together as they are very similar for this week. For the first half of the week, the actions focused heavily on creating further prototypes. To start with, I created a new seedshell mix. Using the same base materials as the previous mix, I increased the compost clay ratio from 5:1 to 3:1, hopefully increasing the durability of the mix when in contact with soil and moisture. I then followed the same method as mix one, by slicing up the clay into smaller pieces and mixing it in with the seeds and compost by hand. This process was repeated until I had a solid ball of materials that could be used with my stud mold. I then followed the same process as before, using a small flat tool from the multitool to compact parts of the mixture into the mold. My mold had a solid hold on the aluminium cores at the bottom, allowing me to stuff in the mixture around the core and ensure that the mix is nice and compact in order for the clay to do its thing and hold solid. Once I was satisfied that no more mixture could fit in the mold, I flattened down the top of the mold as much as possible and removed any excess mixture for later use. The finished prototypes look much the same as the first batch. However, I'm hoping that by increasing the compost-clay ratio that they will last longer when tested. I will also allow for a longer drying period to see if that accommodates greater results. One thing I have noticed is on some of the prototypes, the clay compost split is visible, and this could be a contributing factor to the low durability. If this is the case after testing, the next batch will have to use finer pieces of clay, meaning I'll probably end up cutting them into much smaller pieces in order to negate the obvious separation between the materials and create what is hopefully a stronger mixture. The testing for this new mix will begin as soon as I am home, and hopefully, within the next couple of weeks, I will have a mixture that performs the way I want it to. Along with this, I was able to 3D print my 4th 3D model of the mechanical stud idea. 3D model 4 was printed at a 1.5x scale rather than the 3x scale used in the previous print. This was done for three reasons: firstly, to test if the parts would be strong enough at a much smaller size, secondly to decrease the printing time, and thirdly to reduce the materials used. The model assembles well, although the fit is still quite tight, so the threaded part of the model will still need further refinement. The spiral piece fits much closer to the core, reducing the gap issues around the tip of the previous model. Unfortunately, due to time restraints, I couldn’t test this model during the week, but like with the organic model, I will be testing as soon as I’m home. 

The second half of the week focused on stuff that can be done remotely. I began market research and drafting some logos, as well as adding a lot of content to my DES302 documentation report, re-organising and amplifying my Miro board. This is probably my weakest point in design, I’ve never really had a knack for art or making things look pretty, so while I understand marketing, I’m not great at creating attractive graphics. I think it’s good that I’m aware of my difficulties with this, and that I don’t get to hard on myself when I struggle to create aesthetic work like some of my peers. Regardless of this, I still enjoy it, and hope that my logo generation is up to standard for this assignment. After feedback from my course director, I reorganised my Miro to be more easily navigated. Along with this, I began to structure and build the visual summary deliverable as well as highlight and document the example pitches I want to talk about, plus a few urban spaces (although I will need to identify more this coming week). By identifying these example pitches, I have base models to work with where I can identify points of strength and points of improvement to hopefully visually communicate to the footballing community on how they could improve their preexisting infrastructure to benefit their local species. I’ve chosen 8 example pitches to work with, with all of them having a personal link to me throughout my playing years. This provides me with primary experience and evidence for each location, hopefully allowing deeper insight into their improvement. 

Learning wise for the week, the importance of planning continues to be hammered home, and the benefits of knowing my limits and restrictions only furthered the importance of good time management and setting achievable goals. Outside of planning, I learnt the importance of surrounding yourself with productive people, as despite it being a “break”, there was a lot of work to be done, and by always being around my mates who were also working hard it almost forced me to be working as well! This benefitted me massively as I feel like if I were on my own, I would’ve got a lot less work done.

Here are some photos of my draft logo’ and new prototype models :)

#3d modelling #prototype #organising #logos #draftlogos #clay #seeds #design #inovation #testing #3d print

[clouds-rambles]

Im not even gonna go anonymous anymore. Arghh asking for another request makes me feel guilty knowing you have an essay due so i'll just present you a little prompt!

Being immortal and outliving people you love, you know the drill. It must be sad and lonely. But you know what i feel like would be devastating? Just imagine Teyvat in a time loop. Meeting your friends for the first time, getting know them, hearing their plans and ambitions, sticking with them through dark times, falling in love... Reader just happens to be the one to witness all of it over and over and over again.

Don’t worry about it! I’m horrifically avoiding it right now. I’ll probably have some lunch and do some more of it after lunch. I’m talking about things I enjoy so hopefully it wont take up too much of my brain and we’re going to ignore the graphic novel I have to create in 2 weeks too lmao I’m a professional procrastinator

I have a bit of an idea with this so I hope you don’t mind it being platonic and with the Mondstat guys either. I’m going to reference a previous set of headcanons where you’re the leader of the winds. The two writings aren’t related relationship wise though.

Pairings; (Platonic) people of Mondstat x reader

Warning(s); angst

Keep reading under the cut!

You had done this cycle millions of times before. Before you even became the leader of the winds, when you were just a small spirit. Much like your friend Barbatos.

And while the archon of this land could sleep for thousands of years at a time you had elected to protect his people from the dangers that the god of freedom was too asleep to do anything about. And in fairness you can understand why Barbatos has been asleep many a time to avoid his brain contaminating with similar ideals to Decrabain. You can’t blame him really...

But you’re so horrifically lonely. And it’s not like you’re surrounded by an absence of people. In reality you often find yourself over compensating for your loneliness. Nights are often spent in the tavern conversing with mortals that you can’t quite understand.

You half wish you could ascend to Celestia, at least there you can be merry with fellow immortals and not have the constant threat of losing a friend dear.

You have known the Ragnvindr family for many generations. It’s not like they are hard to notice. Bright red hair and, more often than not, a sweet, bubbly personality. Not many of the Ragnvindr’s have been blessed with visions, but they all make their way through life the best way possible. And while they seem to show similar thought processes to the previous anemo archon, especially considering the fact they basically own the alcohol industry in Mondstat, and more recently Teyvat in her entirety. But when you see the family treating their employee’s so well and with a great wage you can’t help but think maybe humanity can move past the age of dictators. Or at least the humans of Mondstat.

The newest Ragnvindr, Diluc had always caught your eye. You had helped babysit both him and his brother while you weren’t busy reminiscing in memories of old mondstat and slaying monsters of your home. The air of change hangs heavy on the air when you’re around them, it seems like the winds you lead are trying to tell you something that you can’t yet decipher.

Until the day comes when you can. Seeing a broken, sobbing Diluc shut you out of his home not only made you sad. But, it infact reminded you that you shouldn’t get too close to mortals. For, like your friend Crepus’, mortal life is fleeting. 

You’ve seen many stories over the years, but there’s only so many times you can hear the same story before they all meld together.

Take Amber for instance, decided to become an Outrider because of her Grandfather. How many times had you heard that story? Someones grandfather joined the knights and inspired them? Too many to count. And as much as you want to remember Ambers story, you already know, like all the others, her memory will meld with the others. 

Kaeya’s story isn’t one you’ll forget quickly, especially when the deeds of  Khaenri'ah weigh heavy on your mind. Though you have seen a small handful of changing of alliance stories in your lifetime his is probably the one that’ll stick the most. Especially when the memory of him crying in your arms after the man he considered a father died. 

There’s this one young girl you remember from centuries ago. She reminds you of Barbara a lot. Carefree, loves the people she works for. Just this girl was born a few millennia too early. She was apart of the Windblume resistance alongside the bard Barbatos fashioned himself after. You had attempted to smuggle the girl out the fortress many a time yet she always wanted to help. 

Sometimes when you watch Barbara sing you can’t help but cry over a girl you considered your first friend after becoming leader of the winds. Barbara is under the impression that you hate her because of how you avoid the girl. But being constantly reminded of someone you couldn’t save in the end makes you so sad. You’re not sure how Barbatos copes with donning the face of a friend when you can barely look at the face of someone who reminds you of a lost friend.

Razor sits fondly on your mind. He reminds you of the people you did actually save in old Mondstat. You remember checking in on a handful of refugees that you had to hide in old caves and how easily they had climatized to foraging for food. Whenever you see Razor you’re reminded of another young boy who went missing millennia ago who was later found to have been raised by bears. 

Through the centuries you’ve become good at pairing up couples. You seem to be able to point out people who will later enter a marriage. You’re not sure if soulmates and reincarnation exists, but that’s your only explanation being able to point to couples so easily.

You wonder for an immortal like yourself would be blessed with a soulmate. Especially considering you weren’t originally in a humanoid form. Maybe there’s some thousand wind out there for you that you’ll never be able to meet and fall for because of this form.

Your mind stretches to Barbatos whenever you think this but you never let yourself linger on it for too long. Lord Barbatos doesn’t like commitment, and you’re very much content with that, yes sir. 

Your eyes often linger on Rosaria as you often ponder if she thinks she’s the only nun to have strayed from typical nun doings. You remember telling a small Rosaria tales of Decrabains nuns and how they helped with the resistance against the tyrant. You wonder if that’s what gave her the idea to stray from typical nunnery. 

You smile upon Lisa fondly, a bright young woman with aspirations as high as the stars. Much like Rosaria you remember telling a young Lisa about alchemy and sorcery. She had such a knack for it, and seeing the woman return after only two years of study was a little disheartening. But you’re sure there will be people after her who will have similar aspirations with better outcomes. It’s not unlike you’ve seen people scurry their lives away in the pursuit of knowledge. You can understand her want for a different life.

As much as it hurts you in the end most, if not all, the people of Mondstat have buried themselves in your heart. And like you have done countless times before you’ll have to move on from them once you’re dead, no matter how much it hurts. Your mind ponders to Adeptus Xiao of Liyue. He’s under a similar curse to you. The curse of being alone while being surrounded by people. You wonder if that’s why Xiao has distanced himself from mortals.

And as much as you feel like you should take a page out of his book, you find yourself falling in love with Mondstat’s citizens over and over again.

#genshin impact #plationic #genshin impact x reader #diluc x reader #kaeya x reader #amber x reader #razor x reader #venti x reader #rosaria x reader #lisa x reader #genshin diluc #genshin kaeya #genshin amber #genshin razor #genshin venti #genshin rosaria #genshin lisa

[dribs-and-drabbles]

I did not sleep enough last night

As I wake up this morning, I wonder what it's going to be like waking up next Saturday morning. I have become more attached to these characters than I think is healthy at this point. Don't get me wrong, I'll adapt and get over it quick enough...something else will come along to interest (distract) me...and the show will still be there to re-watch but through a different lens, one where I will know the end and will have the distance from it to appreciate all the things which I adored about it as I watched.

Right now, though? I really want to avoid theorising, predicting, hoping...because I think I should step back...pull the emotional threads I have woven from myself into the show away...create some distance so that I can accept whatever ending they give us next week. Will I be able to do that? We'll see...

But before that, I need to get a few things out of my brain to be able to function properly today.

The first is that I think the things that were said between the parents and their sons need to be addressed. The parents have to acknowledge that their actions have had a detrimental affect on their sons. They don't necessarily need to 100% redeem themselves, reconcile and put everything behind them, but there should be a conversation where both sides (parents and child) talk about the situation. And find a way to move forward in their relationship knowing that the truth is out. i just will find it so weird if it's not mentioned, if everything that happened and was said gets brushed under the carpet never to be spoken of again. And if Pat and Pran stop talking. Yes, Pran's parents might transfer Pran again...but why would P&P not stay in touch? Even sending a text every now and then to check in...? And I know it's possible that none of this will get addressed...because Wai's actions never did...so I can see them just...not talking about it...but for me, narratively, that would be so strange. And it would bug me.

And so on to my other thing... This is (hopefully) the last thing I will say about what I hope or might happen in ep 12. But I woke up wondering if we might get the scenario that, IF the families DO talk about the situation, then maybe Pat and Pran 'broke up' in order to start again, without hiding from their parents. Maybe Pat rocks on up to Pran's door one day, dressed up and with a gift, wai's Pran's mother who looks wary but not hostile anymore, and asks her if he can court (hit on, 'date') Pran. Then bit by bit, both families gradually start to open up and accept the other son into their son's life...into their life. Maybe. It's probably not going to happen though...and this is why I can't spend all week talking about it.

But I'm going to make my costume posts as always (because once I start something I have to see it through), and answer asks, but I also have my own life to lead and I've been sort of shirking that in favour of immersing myself in P&P's world. So that needs to stop be reduced.

#bad buddy #this probably comes across as more melancholic than I actually am in reality #I just needed to get it off my chest to get on with my day #gosh I have loved loved these characters this series #and all the wonderful things that Aof has done with it so far #I want to end loving it...but I also need to be able to function after next Friday 😂 #Aof has made a masterpiece regardless of what happens in ep 12 #and for that I'm very very thankful #as am I thankful for this space in this fandom #even though it has taken a LOT of my time up over these past two months #I value and appreciate everything I have gotten out of it #all the amazing creativity of the gif/picture makers #all the incredible meta written by some wonderful people #I will treasure this pocket of my life for years to come #now look at me getting all sentimental #HA! imagine how it's going to be NEXT saturday 😂 #bad buddy series #bad buddy the series #patpran #pat x pran #bad buddy episode 11

[moon-stars01]

First Impressions

Mingyu x Reader

Author:Deko

Summary:In which Mingyu is a regular and your positive your into him.

Gene:fluff,Swearing,Romance

Rating:General Audiences

~First Impressions~

You'd developed a crush.

One, which you'd hoped was fleeting because you only ever saw him around once a week whenever he'd come into your shop.

He was peculiar in the way he carried himself, he'd nestle himself in a corner and play with a trinket he found interesting and made himself laugh on plenty of occasions.

To others, you guessed, he might look half insane laughing to himself like that – but to you, you found it rather sweet.

Sweet, because he indulged in the company of himself. So few are lucky to have enough confidence to carry themselves freely without reserve or judgement, so while he struck you as peculiar, you also found him irresistibly charming for this fact alone.

He came up to you one day and completely shocked you out of your daydream – and you shuffled to hide your book to make it look like you were actually working.

He met your eyes, "Do you make this stuff?"

He pointed around the shop, and you tried to focus on the question but your mind was more drawn to the fact that his voice did not match his pretty face. You'd always imagined him more soft spoken.

"Y-yeah. Well, no" You exhaled slowly, calming yourself down. "Some. My dad makes most of it."

Ahh, wonderfully spoken. Beautifully enunciated.

He hummed in wonder, and you saw a faint smile trace his lips for a moment, before it disappeared.

He said nothing more and began to walk out of the shop.

You gasped, not wanting him to leave. He'd finally talked to you and that's all he'd had to say? The shop was empty so now was your chance to... say something, anything!

You leaned over the wooden counter, "My name's Y/N!" you half shouted, grasping onto the edge.

Really? Your name? That was the best you could do?

He turned around, eyes wide in wonderment, before they softened at the sight of you. "I'm Mingyu. See ya."

He shoved his hands in his pockets, walking away. He used his shoulder to push open the door and left the shop without another word.

You slumped back in your chair and took your book back out from its hiding spot, and tried to focus on the words. You were sour upon him leaving, his presence alone had always made you feel giddy, and the shop suddenly felt colder without him there.

—0–0–0–0–

The next day, Mingyu came in.

This shocked you because he never came in more than once a week; you wondered what must have been so important.

Shock was evident on your face, and when your eyes locked as he walked in the door he wore an unreadable expression.

You watched him out of the corner of your eye as you were stacking wooden toys and trinkets onto the shelves, and noticed that he wasn't acting the way he usually did. He seemed off.

You bit your lip and approached him quietly; he didn't look at you though, as you spoke into the air – only able to admire his side profile.

"Is there anything I can help you with?" You treaded carefully, sounding a little too meek for your liking. You didn't like the effect he had on you.

He looked to be lost in thought for a moment, before turning to look at you. "What kind of gifts do girls like?"

Your heart sank into the floor.

As your eyes trailed his face, gaze sweeping over his perfectly symmetrical features from his soft brown eyes to his pretty pink mouth you realised the insanity of your previous sentiments.

Of course he had a girlfriend, look at him for gods' sake.

You masked your sadness aptly, not wanting to make him uncomfortable. It wasn't as if he'd lead you on or anything, you'd just been living in your own delusions for far too long, allowing them to manifest into actual feelings.

"The things my father makes..." You walked ahead of him around the corner and through shelves, using your index finger to indicate you wanted to be followed, "Are good for tourists, and gifts for old people."

You lead him to a little corner of the shop, one that only stocked the things that you yourself had made. It was your father's idea.

"As for me, I like to make prettier things. Things other girls might enjoy." You used your hand to gesture up and down the shelf.

Mingyu looked at you for a moment with a quirked brow, and then set his gaze to the shelf.

You watched on as he reached out to touch the eclectic weeping willow you'd made. It had taken you forever to create, hence the maybe a little outrageous price tag. You'd had many customers grumpily try to haggle the price with you, but you were fond of it, maybe you didn't really want to let it go.

"You made this?" He questioned, gaze still on it. His long fingers were delicately tracing the decorative beading on it.

"Yes." You murmured shyly, clasping your hands behind your back.

"It must've taken you a long time." He noted.

"It did." You couldn't really think of much else to say, so you continued to watch his form.

He finally leaned up, as if breaking away from his transfixed state. You'd be lying if you said you weren't flattered.

"I'll take it, then."

You blinked up at him, "Are you sure?"

He raised his eyebrow at you, small smile playing on his lips.

He picked up the tree and set off towards the direction of the counter without another word, prompting you to follow.

You rushed ahead, pushing the small wooden entryway to go behind the counter, before meeting his eyes again.

He placed the item down and you looked back up at him, searching his face for any uncertainty.

"Can I ask you a question?" You murmured, avoiding his eyes.

He put his elbows on the counter and sat his head in his palms, watching you expectantly. "Sure."

Too close, he was too close!

You stepped back a fraction, hopefully to an unnoticeable degree. "Is the person this gift is for...special?"

The prying question left your mouth with little hesitation, and he too answered without it.

"Yes."

You watched as he pulled out his wallet and started fishing out notes, but you stopped him with your hand, lowering his gently.

"Then it's on me."

He looked at you, "Huh? No, I couldn't." He ignored you and set the money on the counter anyway.

"I made this a long time ago" You whispered gently, scanning the item to let the system know it was no longer in the store, "It's collecting dust here. You've also given us more business than I care to admit." Your tone was teasing when you looked up at him.

Again, his expression was unreadable.

"Would you like me to wrap it?" You asked, fighting down a sigh.

"Yes, please." His nice voice sent your heart into mini palpitations, and turned your stomach into a fluttering mess.

Stupid, traitorous body.

"Just a moment then." You took the item and walked into the back, exhaling deeply when you were out of ear shot.

You carefully wrapped the tree in bubble wrap, before setting it onto some pink wrapping paper and folding it all together nicely. You sealed it with tape before you heard the entry way doorbell ring.

You left the item in the back and wiped your dewy hands on your pinafore. Stepping out, you looked at the older woman who'd stepped into the store.

"Welcome!" You smiled at her, not familiar with her face. It was always customary to welcome newer customers, the regulars never cared quite so much.

She smiled back and set about the store, and you turned back around to go and retrieve the wrapped gift.

You brought it back out and noticed the money was still sitting on the counter, so while his attention was diverted in his zoned out state, you sneakily placed the money in the bottom of the paper bag, and put the wrapped gift on top of it – effectively hiding it.

"Here you go." You set the paper bag in front of him, and he took the handle and let it fall to his side.

"Thank you." He gave you a quick smile before heading out, and this time instead of using his hands like a normal person, or even his shoulder like he had the day before – he used his foot to push the door open and set out.

You watched his hair fly around in the wind as he stepped outside. The door shut and the bell jingled – leaving you to watch his figure through the glass doors.

His hair was so fluffy. You sighed, putting your elbow on the counter and resting your head in your palm. You wondered what it might be like to run your hands through it.

Sadly, though – that wouldn't happen any time soon. Any girl worth spending 89 dollars on an artisanal craft tree, must be special indeed. It seemed rather frivolous.

—0–0–0–0–

The next morning passed without any drama, and you found yourself during lunchtime nose deep in a book. This week had been slow, dreadfully slow – despite Mingyu and his more than occasional visits – to bring you out of the ordinary.

Your dreamlike state was shattered with a loud ringing of the entry bell, signifying the door had been opened with a little more force than necessary.

A gasp caught in your throat at the sight of Mingyu– and while you were overjoyed at his visit (3 days in a row was a new record) you couldn't help but notice the scowl on his face.

"Y/N."

He'd never said your name before, it sounded like heaven coming from him. But maybe a little bit of slipping from the clouds and plummeting down to earth kind of heaven because his tone was heated.

You watched as he rummaged through his pant pocket, before he pulled out a familiar wad of cash.

He unceremoniously dumped the notes onto the counter in front of you, and his eyes drew you to them, even though the first thing you wanted to do was look away.

"I said no. Why did you do that?" He sounded affronted, and he ran his pretty long fingers through his soft mop of hair to emphasize his frustration with you.

You wanted to say sorry, but you weren't. And if not for a faux apology, what were you supposed to say to that? So you kept quiet, hoping it would pass.

He narrowed his eyes at you sharply, and if gazes could kill...

"So, do you just go around giving away the things you make to anyone for free?" The angry set of his jaw was as frightening as it was handsome. You knew this boy – you'd been watching him for so long. His goofy, light-hearted demeanour could not be clouded with a foul mood.

And as if you were psychic, your silence seemed to stun him. He'd come in here hoping for a reaction and when he realised you weren't going to give him one it calmed him down. You watched as his tense stature relaxed, and his frown mellowed out.

"My sister loved the gift, by the way." His tone had gone soft, "She said it was the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen. I thought so too."

Your heart rate quickened – his sister? You had a nasty habit for jumping to conclusions. It's not as if he'd come into a craft store to buy handcrafted wooden condoms.

Your heart had a pessimistic way of thinking, you'd liked him so much and for so long that your brain turned to non-functioning mush in his presence, clearly.

His sister. The tree was for his sister.

You chewed on your lower lip, trying to concentrate on evening out your breathing and heartbeat. To no avail, naturally.

His gaze was on you so strongly you could feel it. "Aren't you going to say anything?"

"I'm...sorry?" Wow it's like you didn't even try to be convincing.

"No you're not." He chuckled, low and quickly – and it built up into laughter much lighter "You're not sorry at all."

You looked away, caught.

From your peripheral vision you saw him slide the notes over to you, even closer than they were before. "Put the money in the register. Now."

His tone didn't leave much room for debate, it was low and persuasive and you found yourself trembling at the thought of saying no.

"I want to watch you do it."

You detected hints of flirtation in his tone but you didn't want to get ahead of yourself, so you reached out to grab the money and just get it over and done with, but he was quicker.

He snapped the money back up and held it between his middle and forefinger, just for the purpose of keeping your gaze. "And don't try this again, I live too far away to keep coming back like this."

You tilted your head in question, he lived far away?

You held your hand out and he gave you the money, allowing you to put it in the register underneath his watchful gaze.

You shut it, and looked up. "Satisfied?"

He grinned at you, "Very..." A pause,

"Don't sell yourself short, don't ever try to give some guy free things, especially when they're so beautifully and carefully crafted."

You felt mildly affronted by his accusations. "What do you mean by some guy?" your lips fell into a thin line, the previous mood shattered. You chose to ignore the latter half of the sentences flattery.

"I don't know. Maybe if some guy you like comes in with his friends and charms the pants off of you and I don't know... you just give away your things for free."

You gave him a look of complete confusion. Was he daft?

"I like you, jerk."

Your hands came up to your mouth, as if it would do any good. Why had you said something so rash?

His eyes went wide, and if you didn't know any better you might have seen his face flush.

"What, why? You don't even know me..." He scratched the back of his head, "For how long?"

How coherent of him?

"Why? Because I can. I might not know you but, that doesn't mean I don't want to! And, uh, a while..." You huffed indignantly at the end of your mild outburst.

"No, god I mean..." He ran a hand through his hair, "I wouldn't say I like you, it's more of a crush... I don't know how to explain it, how can you like someone you don't know? You know?"

He had a fair point, in all his jumbled musings, perhaps blurting out your affections so carelessly made him think you were someone who used those words often.

"Well..." you thought, deflecting, "how can you have a crush on me then? Or whatever it is you want to call it."

"I asked first."

You almost scoffed, folding your arms. "Because I see you looking around and you're always happy. This is my father's store, and it makes me happy seeing you happy inside of it."

How many times did you just use the word happy?

He looked pleased at your admission, a sweet sly smile playing at his lips.

You sighed, "Now you."

"Alright" he shifted his balance onto his other leg, looking far taller and more imposing than he should have for someone so pleasant. "You make me curious, that's why."

Huh?

He rolled his eyes at your blank stare of confusion, "You make me curious. Whenever I come in you scramble to hide the books you're reading, to pretend like you were working." There was laughter in his voice, "It's cute..." he leaned in closer over the counter, "and it makes me so curious, I always wanted to know what you were reading."You felt your cheeks warm in embarrassment, "You could've just asked."

"No..." he hummed in reply "Because I spent my time in here day dreaming about what you might be reading. It entertained me."

You huffed, "Nice to know I'm a good source of entertainment."

"And whenever you look over at me..." He ignored you and carried on, "And I notice from the corner of my eye and look back, you always look away. Why do you do that?"

All of this time he'd never let on just how attentive he was to you. Knowing this embarrassed you to no end.

You didn't answer him.

"Why do you do that?" He tried again, his voice sounded closer than before. He looked so handsome with confusion lacing his features."I don't know." You bit back shyly

"You're a shit liar, do you know that?" he bit his lip and gave you a once over, "I'll ask you one more time, why do you look at me like that?"

You played with the frills on your sleeves out of nervousness and pat down your store pinafore one too many times than was necessary, desperately needing a distraction from your ever fluttering stomach.

"Y-you know you're nothing like I thought you'd be." You muttered

He smirked and gave you a look as if to say, 'no shit.'

"Wrong answer." Was what he whispered back instead.

The two of you just stood there staring at one another, and you couldn't discern whether or not the silence was comfortable, or unbearable.

You could've sworn his eyes darted to your lips for a moment, but the spell was broken when the bell sounded and a customer came in through the door.

"Welcome!" You got out, albeit breathlessly.

You met eyes with Mingyu again, and he looked as if he was on the brink of saying something. He sucked in an annoyed breath and looked away. But that façade didn't last long because a second later his attention was back on you.

"What time do you get off?"

Your eyes darted to the clock. 5.20. You had 10 minutes left but you'd rather clock out early than have to wait through the tension of, well, whatever the hell you'd call this.

You watched as your final customer left after looking around extremely briefly.

"Now." You whispered, taking off your pinafore gently and setting it beneath the counter.

You went out back for only a moment and switched the power off, coming back out to meet Mingyu.

Your nervousness was palpable, and you patted down your jean skirt that was beneath the pinafore, hoping that your blouse was presentable enough.

It felt like time was moving very slowly as the two of you walked out of the store together, his beautiful features were darkened in shadow – illuminated only by the soft cloudy light emanating from the glass doors.

The two of you slipped out wordlessly, but not before you flipped the sign at the door around to 'Sorry! We are CLOSED.'

—0–0–0–0–

Mingyu took you to a park that was close by, and while the sun wasn't out shining, there was a real charm to the dull grey – with little hints of blue dotted throughout the sky.

The two of you sat on a bench overlooking a field of grass and trees, with flowers scattered about, growing in sparse groups.

"You know, I'm sorry for teasing you." He murmured, looking forward.

You smiled, only a little.

You often day-dreamed about Mingyu taking you out, but back then he didn't have a name to his face. He was just the smiling boy who'd come in whenever he felt like it, with no routine.

But now that you knew the kind of flirtatiousness and deadly charm of which he was capable, it got you to thinking. Just what exactly was it that you liked about him? He had every right to tease you, and to question – because in his eyes you were just a silly girl with an even sillier, baseless crush.You turned to look at his side profile, marvelling at the perfect sculpture of it. "You are?"

"Yeah. Can I tell you the truth?" There was an odd sort of smile on his lips – that met somewhere between a grin and a grimace.

You nodded – hopefully he caught it in his peripheral vision.

"At first I was annoyed with you – for telling me you liked me so carelessly. I thought maybe you'd said it to lots of people before me, I got jealous I suppose." He leaned off to the side of the bench and sat back up with a daisy in his hand, and when he started picking at the petals you supposed it was to put his energy somewhere. "But seeing the way you act when I even... look at you. The way you look at me, it's..." he sighed softly, thoughts dribbling off into nothingness. You hadn't even realised he thought so deeply about you, you felt awful for making him uncomfortable – even without realising it."What I'm trying to say is that I understand you." He finalised "I'm drawn to you, too, more than I can understand why."

You smiled softly, suddenly feeling very warm.

"But, you don't know me, Y/N." He looked at you – looking far too beautiful in all his earnest composure. "Can you live with that?"

"For now." You whispered, "But I meant what I said before, is it so wrong to want to get to know you?"

"Which..." He inhaled and reclined into the bench, legs splayed out in a boyishly charming manner "Which me did you start to like, how was I?"

You thought about the confusing question for a moment, "You smiled a lot. Made a lot of weird, goofy faces at inanimate objects my father and I made. Ridiculously charming stuff." You giggled "And you'd always buy the silly things that my dad loves and I loathe. You know, the wooden sculptures with odd anatomy. I told him there was no market for it, but you became the market." You bit your lip to keep from laughing harder.You paused, "I'll only be a little upset if that isn't the real you."He pulled his lower lip through his teeth and turned to look at you, there was something indiscernible about his gaze, "Only a little?" he whispered.

A.Lie.

"Yeah..." You trailed off

"Do you make it a habit to lie?" he scoffed, turning away from you. "I already told you, you're a bad liar."

"'Shit', I believe was your adjective of choice."

You watched him grin, if you were brave enough to call it that. "I'm serious, Y/N. If you want my truths you have to give me yours, it's the only way we can figure out..." his index finger flicked between the two of you in an exaggerated gesture "Whatever this is."

He was right. He was probably always right.

"I'd be upset, but I'm sure I could get used to every part of you."

Satisfied, he seemed to drop it. "Good, because it is a part of me, before you that is."

You quirked your brow, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"You make me nervous." He concluded simply.

"I make you nervous? You never let that on, at all." You murmured, truthfully confused.

Mingyu seemed very well put together. He was a person who you'd always assumed never gave two shits about the thoughts of other people. But the more time you spent with him alone, the more you realised your awful habit of projecting personalities onto people was a dangerous game to play.

The Mingyu you had feelings for was only a small part of his personality, there was more depth to him than he let on.

"I'm a better liar than you." He was looking at you fully, now.

It was silent for a while before he spoke up again, "My mom took me to this area when I was a little younger during the holidays. You didn't work at the shop at that time but I vaguely remember seeing your face. I loved the eccentric toys your father made, so I always asked my mom to bring me back."

This was news to you, you didn't remember him at all. But listening to him recollect so fondly about your store made your heart swell with pride. That's all your father had ever wanted, a homelike store full of warmth and treasures people of all ages could enjoy.

The store was especially bustling during holiday season and irrevocably dead during off season, so it was understandable you didn't recognize his face.

"I always drive down here when I get the time. I feel at home here for some reason because I have good memories of the store – it was so magical and big when I was a kid, not so much now, naturally."

"Yeah, you're huge." You cut in.

He snickered before continuing on, "Since I felt at home in your store I always got a little comfortable, entertaining myself. But then I noticed you looking at me once, and I don't know what it was about it, but, something happened to my heart that day."

You blinked a few times, trying to absorb all of this information. He was a wonderful speaker – his voice was so calming and deep you found it hard not to fall in.

"Your heart?" You questioned delicately, just trying to make sense of the connection the two of you seemed to have – which until today had gone severely unnoticed.

"Yeah. And before I knew it I was nervous, I couldn't act the way I usually did because I was afraid it would scare you off or something. I felt like I couldn't be myself around you, you were too beautiful for that." He ran a hand through his hair after the statement, and you felt blessed to have seen him do it up so close.

"That's...shallow. You were willing to change who you are, for me? Because you thought I was pretty?" You laughed lightly at the notion

He raised his eyebrow at you and leaned in close, "Shallow?"

You swallowed at the close proximity.

"You never answered my question, and I've been so truthful I think I deserve an answer..." He ran his tongue along his lower lip, following the teasing lilt in his tone. He was teasing you, and he wasn't attempting to conceal it this time.

You knew exactly what question he wanted the answer to.

'Why do you look at me like that?'

He fucking well knew the answer to it too, and you wondered if he was 50% kindness and 50% mischief – maybe 60/40.

But you were certain, even after everything he'd divulged to you – you'd take all 50% of his teasing, of his bullying and smirks and eyebrow raises and every other bloody thing that came along with Mingyu's personality – if it meant you got to see him laugh with glee from time to time.You'd gotten caught up in your thoughts while watching him, and you shook your head to shake you out of the dazed reverie.

"You were doing it just now." He fell back dramatically into the bench, leaning his head back "Christ."

"Sorry."

"No you aren't!"

You giggled, then.

"No really. I am, I'm sorry. I didn't ever want to make you uncomfortable. That's the truth. It was the last thing I wanted." You felt a little ashamed of yourself, at not ever being able to hide your feelings well.

Your inability to do so had caused the person next to you a great deal of confusion.

"Whoever said I wanted an apology from you? I love the way you look at me. But I told you before, I'm curious." He shifted close to you, impossibly so. Close enough that your thighs were touching – but his were clothed.

"If you don't tell me, I'll kiss you."

You looked at his mouth and had to fight back laughter. That was a threat? Oh boohoo, that would be awful.

Perfectly annoyed by him, you grabbed gently at the collar of his shirt and brought his mouth to yours. He let out a low, pleased noise – melting into your touch.

His lips felt like heaven on yours, they were soft and warm – and the noises of pleasure he was making was doing little to stifle the rampant thumping of your heart. He kissed back with fervour, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you into him further.

When it had all gotten too much, he pulled away slowly and hesitantly, before putting his head into the crook of your neck and letting out a soft sigh. "That was unfair." He whispered, leaning back to look at you. "You're avoiding giving me an answer."

"Are you done being a brat or are you going to admit that you already know the answer?" You wound your arms around his neck and played with the back of his hair, admiring the feel. It was as soft as you'd imagined.

"Is it so wrong to want to hear it from you?" He murmured, leaning forward and pressing his lips to yours again quickly.

You laughed softly into the little space between you, effectively ignoring him.

"I really am sorry about liking you so early. But I think it'll be very easy to like all of you,Mingyu." You hoped you sounded sure.

"You're not sorry." He bit his lip, smiling through the gesture.

"You're right." You whispered, leaning up and placing a delicate kiss to his forehead, and lingering far longer than necessary;

"I'm not."

#seventeen #seventeen fanfic #stories #kpop #mingyu x you #mingyu x reader #mingyu x y/n #kim mingyu #seventeen x y/n #seventeen x you #seventeen fluff #mingyu fluff #mingyu fic #seventeen kim mingyu

[byuncock]

Do you still love me? // Baekhyun

pairing: baekhyun x oc/reader

genre: angst, slight fluff?

word count: 1.6k

a/n: unedited! inspo came from a oneshot that is no longer available to read.

The cafe was filled with such a happy atmosphere. You were feeling everything, but.

You looked over to your boyfriend as his attention was solely on the one person sitting across from him. Which so happens to be his ex.

The both of you were out for your anniversary celebration, but it seems like you were the only one excited noting the outfits as you looked down at yours then looking over to Baekhyun's laidback hoodie and sweats. Good thing anything he wears makes him look stylish.

For some reason his ex keeps glaring at you from time to time. You havent even talked to her beside a simple introduction of hello's and my name is.

Your mood for the day has been ruined and dampened even more at the fact that he was paying attention to his ex more than you. You heave out a sigh while staring ahead just wanting them to finish talking so the both of you could just end the day even though it's only the after noon.

Hearing the sigh Baekhyun turns towards you while his friend is still talking. He stares a bit feeling bad that you had to deal with this on a special day.

He turns to her, "Well, it was nice seeing you again. If you don't mind leaving us since we are celebrating our anniversary after all" Baekhyun shoos her politely.

She let's out a flabbergasted "Oh!" and nods at the both of you then leaving. Baekhyun turns his head towards yours and gives a peck at your temple.

Feeling annoyed you stood up to leave not before telling him, "Let's go home, Baekhyun"

You were washing the dishes. Deep in thought about when things went wrong with your relationship with baekhyun.

He's been distant since around a month ago you ponder. Then the affection started decreasing weekly along with dates and communication you investigate.

As you were deep in thought Baekhyun was standing at the entrance of the kitchen the whole time with his arms crossed while staring at you. Also, deep in thought of what words to start off.

"Hey, we need to talk" he starts off as he uncrosses his arms and walks closer to you leaving a good distance.

Coming back to reality you looked over to him then down at the sink since you were still washing the dishes, "What did you wanna talk about?" letting out nonchalantly.

He opens his mouth, but the words are stuck. He closes and swallows, trying again, "I don't think I want to continue this relationship anymore" he lets out softly. As if he was hesitant even saying it, scared even.

You knew this was coming. Were you surprised? No. Just disappointed. You ceased washing the plates and turn to look fully at him, "Why?" genuinely curious even though you were breaking inside.

He stayed silent while looking around. Trying to find the words you assumed. "Do you still love me anymore?" you questioned in a whisper.

He stares at you straight in the eye, "I don't think I love you anymore" he finally lets out. Breaking you completely.

It was suddenly getting harder to breathe. You feel the tears creeping up. But you swallowed a large lump and nodded. Going back to finish washing the dishes, "Alright then, I guess this is it?" you questioned.

Not letting him say anything else when you added, "I'll pack my stuff when I'm done with this" you turn your head at him with a forced small smile.

Then he left.

-

It's been about a few weeks. Or a month. You don't really know since you lost count of the days. Not having the energy to even care about anything else besides your broken heart.

You were staying at your friend's place, who is kind enough to let you move in, but because of reasons you didn't want to do that to her. Letting her know you'll only be staying there for a short time until you find your own place.

The sun has set and the moon is shining brightly. Though the weather has been nice lately your mood hasn't got any better. So you try to cheer yourself up by having walks daily either in the morning or night.

This time around you were feeling extra sad and heartbroken which led to all memories with Baekhyun and self doubt. Must be your incoming monthly cycle.

You were walking out at night aimlessly. Which should be dangerous, but you didnt care at the moment. Not until someone grabbed your shoulders from behind and turned you around, startling you.

You were so shock you didn't really get to process who the person was before they pulled you into their embrace. The scent giving it away.

The tears you've been trying to keep at bay for the past week had finally been let go.

Baekhyun hears you sobbing and hugs you tighter while whispering apologies and I love yous in your ear.

You were so upset and hurt that he broke it off just like that. All the anger and sadness coming out through your sobs and actions. You pushed him away while looking at him.

"W- What ar-are you doin- doing?" you asked while hiccuping. Now that you were finally able to take a look at him you cried even harder.

He was flabbergasted, didn't know what to do, but pull you in his embrace once again while apologizing, "I.... I'm sorry my love.... I'm so sorry"

He tightened his hug while whispering apologies and sweet nothings.

While you just stood there. Limp. Bawling your eyes out at the same man who broke your heart.

So many thoughts were bombarding your already tired head. Why is he here? Why is he hugging me? How did he recognize me? What the fuck?

Baekhyun let you cry in his arms while he soothes your back. Waiting for you to calm down before he speaks again. When you do he lets out softly, "I would like to speak with you. If that's okay?" pulling away at arms length so he can look at you. Trying to decipher the emotion on your face other than sadness.

You were so confused, "What do you even want to talk about?" giving a deep frown as you try to back away from him and have a decent amount of space in between.

Baekhyun didn't like that. Even though you created distance he still managed to graze his hands down to yours to intertwine them.

"I wanted to apologize" he started quickly. "I know I broke your heart and told you I no longer loved you, but baby was I so damn wrong," he tightened his hold on you.

Millions of emotions ran through you. Still confused obviously. But now. Upset. How can he just do that? One second decides he no longer loves you and breaks it off then come back because he was wrong. Who does that?

He was eagerly waiting for any type of reply, but all he received was a troubled look and thoughts running through your head.

"These past weeks we've been apart felt like hell. I realized I made a mistake shortly after I broke it off with you, but I didn't want to get back to you so soon because I wanted to be sure that I still love you. Which I do, which is why I was trying to plan something until I ran into you" he pauses. Letting you soak in what he said before continuing.

He saw your eyes move from the ground up to his eyes. He took that as a queue to talk again and hopefully convince you how sincere he is.

"Something in my gut told me to do it now or else I wouldn't have got a chance later. So I took it." he pauses again and slowly gravitate you towards him into an embrace so the both of you could look directly at each other.

"Now I am hoping you can forgive me and give me another chance because I love you so damn much. I'm a fucking moron to ever thought I didn't love you anymore. Please, baby. Give me another chance and let me be with you again." he softly lets out with his lips just a centimeter away from yours.

His eyes occasionally drift between your eyes and your lips. Somehow his arms were wrapped around you.

You were still soaking it in. Everything was too much at the moment and in the state you were currently in didn't help.

The whole time he talked you didn't even reply back with anything besides all the emotional looks he caught.

You were deep in thought. So deep in thought you forgot what was happening until you feel his arms tighten around you.

You can tell the situation was making him anxious and your lack of response made it 10x worse.

"I don't" you croaked. Clearing your throat you tried again " I don't know" you finally let out.

He ended up placing his forehead against yours and stared deeply into your eyes. "Please" he begged with a crack in his voice. He closed his eyes and his expression seemed like he was holding back his tears.

You didn't feel bad.

You pulled away from him. Making sure you were six feet apart and he stood there with his eyes closed. You can see a tear run down his pretty features.

"My number's still the same" you whispered. You stood there for another few seconds then turn to leave.

If he wanted you back then he better work his ass off.

You were not going to experience that heart break again. You wanted to be sure that he means it so if the both of you do get back together there wouldn't be doubts. There wouldn't be second thoughts of what if Baekhyun falls out of love with you again. Because you have no idea if you can handle that the second time.

-

As you are walking back to your friend's place. Your phone vibrates.

~

a/n: lmk your thoughts!

#baekhyun #byun baekhyun #baekhyun scenario #baekhyun scenarios #baekhyun angst #baekhyun drabble #exo #exo angst #exo scenario #exo scenarios #admin b #my writings

[vanherst]

Vher98 Update 5

I know it's only been a couple of weeks since the last blog post about my recent updates towards developing Vher98, but trust me it's for a good reason, I'll split it up into chapters to sorta give a bit more of an explination towards developments and get a bit more in depth about it for once.

Display properties.

This has been delayed for SO long, and finally I've gotten around to doing it. Finishing the display properties menu. The display properties has been the bane of my existance about this website but yet my best feature, just from the schemes feature alone. But this week I have a new addition, and that is to say I now have desktop icon schemes! Inwhich, allows you to change the desktop icons based on preselected spritesheets (Which you can also change by the command prompt!).

At the moment there are 6 presetswhich you can select, I recently did a massive sprite redesign for desktop icons based on my new character, Petra! But that's for a future update, for now I've set the default spritesheet and included all of the old ones, which you can select from, alongside being able preview them at a smaller resolution to be compatiable with the display properties window.

I've also added a few other settings which you can see previews of, not all of which are programmed yet, so at a future date I'll either change them around or program them. But for now, I've added the ability to change desktop icon sizes to a more native modern scale, but leaving the default setting as the classic windows 98 recreation.

I've also added additional wallpapers, only accessable through the effects tab and "CSGO MODE" which was featured in the background of the preview blog post, which recreates the settings for my counterstrike mainmenu, along with adjusting the desktop icons and wallpaper to fit.

As previewed above, designed to be a slight nod to my recent "Neon Genesis Evanjollion" video, featured on my youtube channel. I've recorded and animated my counterstrike character with loopable animations which play continuously in the background.

Now, I know this is a lot of text for what seemingly is a minor update, but the main reason I was able to design the latest additions to the effects tab was because of the recent massive rewrite I've had to do in order to fix a bunch of problems I was coming across, one of which being how unoptimised themes were reletively.

Left: new code which include schemes selection and the new effects menu toggles. Right: old code, only including schemes selection.

This entire re-write revolves around basically storing arrays of data rather than manually switching values of variables, along with tons of adjustments to unneeded variables and how theme data is required to be stored, as CSMODE needs to store the theme data to be able to toggle from the data needed to switch from the current scheme to CSGO mode.

I cannot understate howmuch of a rewrite this is, and as much as I would like to say "I really don't get why I ever did it otherwise", I would be lying. But this is a super incredable optimisation and looking at this comparritively makes me super pleased with how far i've come from knowing nothing about HTML/JS to this. Jquery is a godsend.

Start Menu

On my newly found optimisation craze, I've also done tons of rewriting to the startmenu, another long overdue reform. Even though I've recently done a rewrite on this thing, I knew there was still tons of improvements with my new knowledge of jquery.

Top image: old code in Javascript Bottom image: new code in Jquery

I've also put aside a few hours of time to dedicate creating new assets for the start menu. It became REALLY hard to find a nice and consistant style which windows 98 used, but it was really hard to find sources of any of the original assets but also have the levels of details I knew windows 98 for, especially when tons of the assets from windows 98 came from windows 95, which still relied on 8 bit colour in some instances.

So I did a bunch of digging and found the assets Windows 98 used at the end of it's lifespan and modified them a bunch to put into Vher98, giving my own personal touch and hopefully to keep the art direction of icons a bit more consistant and unique to look at and use.

Task management

Alright, last big one. Task management. Another long overdue reform was needed for this thing. Prior to this month, tasks relied on whatever manual order I decide to create the task and assign a number to, the number will dedicate placement on the taskbar depending on which value was the highest.

So for example, the Display Properties will ALWAYS be the third task on the taskbar if you was to open everything up, simply because I didn't know how to calculate the placement prior to designing tons of assets. Especially when the original conception of the site RELIED on myself manually creating the visual look of the taskbar as the entire site was designed based on images. From windows, taskbar to the starrtmenu. It was awfully inefficent.

Top image: Example of windows being opened from oldest (left) to newest (right). Bottom image: The new optimised and redesigned code for calculating taskbar placement and task assignment.

Anyway, that being said I now have automated calculation for taskbar task placement. If you open a task, it will open and remain in the order of the task being ordered. Writing this makes me have a smug little grin on my face just from how happy I am I was even able to get this to work properly, and it's only a few lines of math to even get the result I have.

Conclusion

There's tons of other stuff I wish to go on about, but that's why I have patchnotes. if you wish to read them, you can check them out on my github, or in the Startmenu of Vher98.

There's a few bugs I need to get around to fixing, but I've invested a few hundred hours into this thing over the past month alone and I really should take a break to get onto other projects I wish to get around to completing.

I recently started developing a mod for Terraria and some drawings I want to get around to finishing sooner or later. But, the most important thing I REALLY need to get around to is branding. Over the past month or two I've been growing more and more displeased with how I present myself and the fact I have stagnated a bit within the realms of my carear and I need to get around to sorting these personal matters sooner rather than later.

I'll be back with a couple of projects. It might take a while but I promise it's for a good cause.

#Theme #Tumblr #Tumblr theme #website development #website #site #vher98 #branding #update

[suspiriu-m]

About Me

Hello! My name is Sal and welcome to my blog, Suspirium! Suspirium is a word that originates from one of my favorite movies, Luca Guadagnino’s 2019 remake of Dario Argento’s classic italian horror movie Suspiria. According to World of Dictionary, Suspirium is a Latin word meaning “Deep breath, sigh”. It’s also the title of one of my favorite songs from the soundtrack to the movie produced by Thom Yorke of Radiohead. I’m a huge horror movie buff so expect to see a lot of that sort of content on my blog if I can incorporate it into any of my work. I chose this as the title of my blog because of how well the word fits into the movie, and I just love the way it sounds. Anybody who’s watched the movie will understand, but I won’t go into detail as to not spoil it for anybody who hasn’t yet seen it.

Throughout my highschool years I technically went to two schools. My main and home school was Middletown High School, and my secondary school was Orange Ulster Boces in Florida New York. In high school I was always in media production and art classes. For example, photography, video editing, drawing & painting classes and my favorite was an Elements of Horror class I took my senior year. Horror being my favorite genre, I absolutely had to take a class that’s dove into the origins of classic horror novels, films and short stories. Leading to me finding my favorite classic horror story Dracula by Bram Stoker, and a multitude of stories by H.P. Lovecraft. Continuing on now to college i’m now majoring in Media Production while also still taking some classes in Marketing and Design! I really enjoy both a lot so it’s hard to kind of pick exactly which I want to do, but it’s nice knowing that no matter what path I finally choose I'll still have some experience in the other!

Aside from my education, I love to watch horror movies and read stories in my own free time. Movies in general are a huge hobby of mine and I watch at least 3-4 a week given I have the time. Some of my favaroties of all time concerning classics have got to be the Halloween series, The Evil Dead series and all four of the Scream movies. Other hobbies of mine that take up a huge part of my life and time are video games and music. I have a pretty big record collection that’s continuously growing with at least 80-90 albums and counting. I just recently purchased a few more to add being Sade’s Diamond Life, Whitney Houston’s Whitney and Whitney Houston albums, Lazaretto by Jack White, Texas Sun by Khruangbin & Leon Bridges and Petals for Armor by Hayley Williams. Hopefully my next additions will be What’s Your Pleasure? by Jessie Ware and The Baby by Samia. I’ve been collecting them for years, but especially now since even CD’s are starting to go out of style. I’m the kind of person who still likes to have physical copies of all my music and movies and games so having such big collection is super special to me.

In terms of video games, I try and play as wide of a variety that I can because I believe I can find something I like in any genre. Strategy, shooters, brawlers, online competitive games etc, but I think my favorite style of game is single-player, narrative driven experiences. Most recently I played The Last of Us Part II and was absolutely enthralled with it. I loved the first game so much so getting a sequel was something I was extremely grateful for. I don’t think video games get enough credit for what they do for storytelling. TLOU 1 and 2 are some of my favorite stories that I have experienced in any form of media. The heartbreak, pain, love, fear and excitement those games have succeeded in giving me while just sitting in front of my TV is something no other form of entertainment has brought me. Some of the most touching moments, but also the most excruciating. They also had a queer women front and center throughout the games which is something that isn’t very common in video games so seeing that was really nice to me. Other than The Last of Us, some other solid narrative driven games I’ve played are God of War, Uncharted 1-4, Marvel’s Spider-Man, The Tomb Raider Reboots, Ghost of Tsushima, the Batman Arkham series and Control.

Although story based games are my favorites that doesn’t mean I don’t have a place in my heart for some good old fashioned fun as well! I also really enjoy a lot of the Super Mario and Legend of Zelda games as well. My biggest pet peeve that I have with the gaming industry right now though is Fortnite. I think it’s literally the most annoying game ever created. People spend hundreds and thousands of dollars just to buy skins and weapon packs and I think it’s absolutely ridiculous. The fact that I work at a major video game retailer and constantly have kids running through my store screaming about the damn game at least once a day could also contribute to my hatred. Either way, I want no part and absolutely nothing to do with it.

Going back to queer representation though. I recently watched Pose over the summer. Not only was the show heavily based during the AIDS epidemic in New York City, almost the entirety of the main cast was comprised of Transgender Black women. On prime time television! This is the first show to ever achieve such a feat. Not only was the cast extremely talented, I thought the writing and production of the show as a whole was brilliant. It definitely has its flaws and I could point out a few of them, but I believe all of the good of the show far outweighs the bad. It’s not afraid to tackle extremely real and difficult subjects the Transgender and Black communities have faced in this country and all over the world. It’s so important to see content like this on television as well because EVERYBODY deserves representation. Not only was the cast Trans, but one of the lead writers of the series Janet Mock is also a Black Trans woman! Pose was filled with heartfelt moments that truly had me sobbing in my bed as I watched. I think I actually cried at pretty much every single episode for both seasons. The cast is brilliant, the realism and talent and star power they bring to the show is like nothing that I’ve ever seen before and I’m so glad to be able to see them up on my television. I so badly one day hope that I can be behind the scenes of producing a show of this caliber some day.

While I have yet to help in the production of a show like this, I have had my fair share of of making short films, music videos and even assisting on a friend of mine’s first full length movie that he submitted to festivals. Last year, I had the opportunity to shoot a short horror film with my classmates for our final project. The film was based around a young woman getting trapped at her school in the middle of a blizzard, and slowly beginning to realize that she may not be alone. In a fight for her life, she has to survive till morning while going up against a mysterious killer who lurks the halls of her small town college. Sadly, we didn’t have enough time to produce a full and finalized cut of the film but coming together and working with a few other classmates was still a really fun experience. Not only was I able to play the role of the killer, I aided in audio, music selection, location scouting, props department, shot planning and writing the movie and it was a great time. I also had the pleasure of helping out my friend Matt Vincini in shooting his short film The Cattle Farmer. A horror/thriller film about a boy who is adopted into a family, only to realize that his life might have been planned from the start. It featured a mysterious woodland family who may or may not have had cannibalistic tendencies that included their adopted children. It was a super cool experience to be on a set with a bunch of actors and seeing my friend in action in the role of director. Collaborating on projects like this with friends is always a fun time, even it does get stressful at some points. At one point in the film, one of the characters realizes that the dinner he is currently eating could quite possible be his last meal ever. Which kinda let me to thinking what my last meal would be. After some thinking, I think i’d definitely have to choose my families homemade pasta and meatballs. I know, pretty stereotypical for an Italian family but it’s just so good. We make our own sauce every september and it’s a huge family event. Everybody comes together and one of our houses and it’s literally a whole days worth of work. The best part? At the end of the night, we all have a huge feast and make pasta and meatballs with all of the sauce we just made. It’s one of my favorite things to do with my family and always one of my favorite meals. Not only is it delicious, but also sentimental.

This is all for now! Thanks for stopping by my blog and reading a little bit about me. I could probably keep rambling on for hours but I don’t think that’s the smartest idea. I can’t wait to fill this blog with more content this year and hope to hear from you guys as well! Until then, i’ll be watching more movies and DEFINITELY playing some more games. At this point i’ve been playing the new Marvel’s Avengers video game so, let me get back to kicking some AIM ass!

[sagebodisattva]

No Time-Space, Only Mind-Space

So recently, some of you may have noticed, that I’ve started to use a certain phrase; a strange new bit of terminology, that I’ve employed more then a couple of times in the past few videos. And this neologistic nomenclature seems to have piqued a little interest among you; leaving those within you wondering, what could this peculiar designation mean exactly? And this uncertainty has undoubtedly left many of you feeling anxious and watchful. Well, have no fear, the Meta Sage is here. The term in question is: “mind-space.” What is a “mind-space”, exactly? And to what, does “mind space”, apply?

The first outside inquest concerning this matter came about a week or so ago, when a commenter by the name of “The Trickster”, mentioned it specifically. Thereafter, the subsequent comment exchange that followed, served as the inspiration for this current video. But, before we delve right into the thick of the matter, I’ll read the transcript of that comment exchange, as it happened; to both, act as a supplementation to this video, and to hopefully, delineate for you, the basic premise of the subject at hand.

So, here’s the transcript:

The Trickster: You are hanging on to an unfalsifiable narrative that reality is just, as you called it, a "mind-space”, and anyone with differing ideas are lost in their own externalizations, or something. Did I get that right?

Meta Sage: More or less. Nice implication, but the “mind-space” is undeniable because it’s already the case before anyone can think about it. It’s the “space-time” theory that’s a conceptualization, and needs all kinds of explanations and narrative to support it.

The Trickster: Ergo, the mind-space theory is ultimately an unfalsifiable concept you choose to believe. As it can't be properly substantiated or debunked. See, I like you, Meta Sage. I don't dislike the ideas you put forth. But only a sheep refuses to question a particular narrative. And I also like poking holes in a narrative. “Space-time”, on the other hand, can be tested, debated, analyzed without an absolute perception.

Meta Sage: You have the whole thing mixed up, which I noticed last week when we were talking in the comments on the other video. You glossed over what I just said and reaffirmed a falsehood. To move forward, you have to break free from this obstacle; and you can do this more easily by throwing out the old model of reality. Case in point: If we take two people, wipe their minds clean of all memory, then put them together in a room to discuss reality, the “mind-space” is already the foundation of everything, before even one word can be spoken. The context of existence is undeniable, and this is a reality before any debates, tests or analyzations take place. The “space-time”, on the other hand, cannot even be discussed without first learning a whole bunch of things that one then has to assume as reality. There’s a slight difference. You have to be able to discern between reality and abstractions.

The Trickster: Yeah. I won't write a long response. Rather, I'll ask this, why do you assume the idea of a “mind-space” is inherently present in the minds of said individuals you mentioned in your example? If you propose life is a dream, most without some sort of philosophical capacity would just miss the meaning of such an idea. While time itself is experienced by everyone regardless if its an illusory and misunderstood aspect of reality. Most know time is the measurement of events in existence. A mental construct? Yeah. To some extent. But the “mind-space” idea is an abstraction by its very nature. An unfalsifiable idea which only needs one to believe, and no argument posed to it can truly debunk or pick it apart. Just because the mind serves as a useful interface for interacting with and perceiving the world it doesn't automatically mean the mind creates reality. Yes, we are experiencing something. But let's not jump to conclusions. But look, I won't claim to know everything. If I've got things mixed up feel free to correct me.

Meta Sage: Thanks for keeping that so short. Thing is, I don't have to assume an idea of awareness. Awareness is already the foundation. Or, said another way, because there is awareness, abstract aspects like "ideas, concepts and theories", about a so-called "existence", can be formulated. Now keep in mind, when I speak of awareness, I'm not trying to assign it an identity. It's not a consideration of a "me" or "them", when it comes to awareness. There's no "people" existing to experience something, nor any "world", and it certainly isn't a human's mind that is creating anything. Identities are part of the dream. None of this phenomena is your true identity. So the idea is to be able to discern between awareness, abstractions, and dream phenomena. Conflating these aspects is where the confusion arises. It's the context within the field of dream phenomena, that I call the “mind-space”, and this is to clarify the fact that it isn't a physical location. "Physical locations" are ideas formulated about a purely mental phenomena. As is "time" also. These are all just ideas about illusion. Only awareness is reality.

So, that was the exchange. And so now, I’d like to expand a bit more on the subject, and really try to make things nice and sparkling clear. In a sense, this particular teaching could be considered one of the core foundational principles of Pure Potentialism. If one can manage to grasp this essential teaching, much of everything else will fall into place a lot more easily. Simply put, one of the core principles of Pure Potentialism is that the context of experiential reality is the mind, not physical locality. This is what is meant by “mind-space.” The apparent “space” that things seem to occupy, is made out of pure mind, not made out of objective materiality.

Sounds easy enough, but it’s actually rather difficult to realize; as the idea of materiality is ingrained deeply into people’s minds unconsciously, so maintaining crystal clear clarity will be a very strenuous mental effort to undertake; and, to top that off, people don’t find any ego gratification in this, thus, are generally dissatisfied with the cold stark truth, and, ultimately, will deeply yearn to find some other kind of narrative; one that provides an explanation that places a great deal more importance on their ego’s supposed existence. That’s what matters most to the average man. His precious self image. His dandy pride. His lofty self importance. It’s really quite rather disgusting actually. So it’s an uphill battle the entire way. Thus, the way to start to make some tracks towards clarity, is found in the lucid discernment between awareness, abstractions and dream phenomena.

This is the stumbling block that The Trickster got snagged on. He got SNAGGED on it. The Trickster can’t tell the difference between awareness, dream phenomena and abstractions. He wrongly conflates them, then argues his points premised on this falsehood. So, I’d like to break this right down for you, which will hopefully lend some much needed cohesion to the matter.

1. Awareness. What is awareness? Awareness is the absolute base, and allows all else to be possible. It’s the original face, and the undermost real true identity, despite having no physical embodiment, or manifest qualities. What will we find to be the case, after every single falsehood is stripped away? After peeling back all the thoughts, the identifications with a self, the objects around you, the entire world; only this, is what remains. Awareness. And so now that there is awareness, there can be some “thing”, to be aware of. Or, “something can be imagined to be the case”, to be more exact. Now that there is awareness, awareness can be aware of imagination. And the imagination isn’t a thing. It isn’t located anywhere. Indeed, the imagination itself could be said to be imaginary. Hence, said another way, awareness can dream. And since awareness can dream, there can now be an aspect called existential reality. This is what awareness does. It imagines existential realities, with varying degrees of fleeting qualities. And this brings us to the next factor: dream phenomena.

2. Dream phenomena. What is dream phenomena? Dream phenomena is an illusion. It’s what the imagination of awareness imagines into being. There are no limits as to the possible variations the illusion can be imagined to take. And the context of any such imagined illusory variation, is what I refer to as the “mind-space.” The “mind-space” are the borders that hold together a particular illusion. Wherein, consciousness can now find it’s ground, and quickly begin to establish identifications that will bring it self affirming fortification. If this consciousness ever manages to become refined, it will perhaps recognize itself in it’s own reflection, and suddenly become self aware. And once self aware, there can now be these aspects called thoughts, ideas, beliefs, concepts, theories, and knowledge. Now a consciousness can philosophize about it’s own supposed “existence”, and make speculations about who, what, when, where, why, and how, this is. Which, brings us to the next factor: abstractions.

3. Abstractions. What are abstractions? Abstractions are the intellectual activity of a consciousness. The constant yammering of the inner voice. The ongoing internal narrative we tell ourselves is the storyline of our supposed existence. The purely intellectual deductions, and hence purely intellectual conclusions, that we THINK; and then go on to call that a reality. This is where things get murky, and then awareness, dream phenomena and abstractions become a muddled amalgamation of confusion; where now, one will have a hard time telling the difference between the concept and the object of reality, and may even mix them up entirely. This is exactly how the truth of the “mind-space” became forgotten, and how we now think we live in this idea of a “time-space” context; and went on even further to suggest that, the one and only true sure thing, the “mind-space”, is just a belief, and that the “time-space” idea, is actually the true default reality. Enter The Trickster.

So now you can see some of the reasons how and why this whole thing became so deeply convoluted. If the only things you think to question are only staged on a foundation of materialism, and inquiry into the intro-spectrum is something that never occurs to you as important, you are a pretty lame example of a skeptic. The Trickster makes the assertion that only a sheep doesn’t question a particular narrative, yet, oddly enough, doesn’t think to question the narrative of his own materialistic belief system. Apparently, he accepts as an unquestionable given that “time-space”, the normative mainstream belief system that has the general consensus of the shepherd’s flock, is a fundamental truth. And that’s truly rich. But, overlooking that for the moment, let’s move on to address one of the central themes of his argument: that the “mind-space”, is unfalsifiable; and cannot be properly substantiated or debunked.

Well, as far as being “substantiated”, is concerned, everything I’ve said thus far should leave no doubt as to why this isn’t that hard to flesh out. It’s only your over-thinking process that makes it extraordinarily over-complicated. Awareness is the fundamental truth. This might be about the only thing one can say to be, “self evident.” Without awareness, you cannot cast doubt, or weigh evidence, in the first place. Without awareness, you cannot even begin to make substantiations. So, if you actually have consciousness, and are not just a mindless zombie, then your consciousness is substantiated just by being conscious. What other evidence would you require that you are conscious, other than being conscious?

And as for debunking; what the hell would you hope to debunk anyway, your own consciousness? That seems a bit counter intuitive; and this is what makes me think that you’re just playing the usual little bullshit games of a delusion whore. Stop it. You have an absolute foundation that establishes a proper setting for investigative inquiry, and you wish to lessen it through doubt, or minimize it to some secondary status behind inanimate matter, for what purpose exactly? Or, as he so eloquently put it, “it’s a useful interface for interacting with the world.” The “world”, he comfortably assumes; but what gives context to his entire existence, he harbors reservations. And by the way, no one ever said that the “mind-space” creates reality, so it’s actually YOU who jumped to those conclusions. As previously stated, awareness dreams of a “mind-space”, and the context within that “mind-space”, is what you are wrongly calling an objective world. The “mind-space” is not a useful tool for interfacing with a world, no. There is no world. The “mind-space” is the composition of reality itself.

And if I need to go over the fallacy of the whole time delusion again, then you probably haven’t been paying attention. I’ve already deconstructed the idea of space, and much the same will apply to the concept of time. Yes, the idea of time is only an abstraction. The patterns you see in nature do not represent time. One rotation of a planet around a star is not indicative of any objective factor operating in the universe. There is no universe. Time is a completely fabricated ‘relative-to-a-subject’ tool, and nothing more. And it doesn’t matter that you can test it, debate it, or analyze it, without an absolute perception, (whatever the hell that’s supposed to mean), it doesn’t change the fact that time itself doesn’t exist independently to the factor that is giving time significance. So assuming the concept of time as some kind of fundamental groundwork of reality is a big problem. There’s no problem, on the other hand, with the truth of the “mind-space” reality. The only problem here, is your over-thinking intellectualism. An over-thinking intellectualism that likes to over-think so much, it now believes it’s ideas are reality, and that the actual reality is an idea. Nice!

And when it comes to “falsification”, that whole idea is largely stupid. Why would you make the criteria for a phenomena to be considered scientifically, a prerequisite of having certain conditions where the phenomena can be shown to be false? Does that seem to be reasonable? If that’s the case, then gravity is unfalsifiable, as it can be tested ad nauseam, and never be shown to be false; and yet gravity remains an accepted truth within the scientific community. And, on the flip side of that coin, astrology can definitely be shown to be false. So that suddenly makes it legitimate, and now qualified as eligible to be considered scientifically? What the fuck? Something’s definitely not quite right with that line of reasoning. And that’s why the idea of falsifiability is an impotent repellent against the truth. Maybe this qualifier was concocted as a ward against a god theory, but other then that, it accomplishes very little else. Again, why would you need to falsify your own consciousness? Why, other then to create distractions in an attempt to preserve your delusion; which, only causes confusion and delays.

Awareness is the absolute truth, and no, you cannot falsify the truth, under any circumstances; otherwise it isn’t the truth. The truth is the truth, and falsehood is falsehood. That’s why truth and falsehood have two separate distinctions, instead of being considered as the same distinction. Truths are never conditionally false. The truth is always the truth. Only a falsehood has the potential to be considered as conditionally true; and that’s due to the designs of illusion; but, that’s not why we’re here today.

Why is awareness the undeniable default axiom of existence? Because it’s the foundation of everything, whatever you want to call that. Whether you wanna say it’s the foundation of being, of consciousness, of physics, of material universe, of existence, or of whatever else you can come up with, matters not. The context is awareness. And that’s why it’s the ONLY sure thing. It’s not that there’s an idea of a “mind-space” inherently within you, but rather, that “mind-space” is the inherent groundwork for consciousness. Understand, this is not just a conceptual theory. It’s already the case before the development of intelligence. You don’t look outwards for it. You are already it. And you were already it, before the expansion into advanced philosophical thinking. No, it’s not god. No, it’s not materiality. Those are all prime examples of making outward attributions; what I like to refer to as, externalizations. Stop wallowing in the confines of mental slavery. You are beyond anything found within the “mind-space.” You are pure potentiality itself.

#mind-space #time-space #philosophy #metaphysics #awareness #dreams #abstractions

[prxttypxrker]

[secrets: part six]

[part] one two three four five

The more he thought about it, the more he justified his actions. If you went on to becoming friends with his heroic side or something more - which would’ve made things very awkward - then he would be spending at least half of his time worrying about whether you made it home safe or not. However, the friendship was something he couldn’t lose. He only had three people he was close with, especially at school, and you were one of them. Was he really willing to throw it away because of a secret?

When he walked through the doors of the school that morning, he made a beeline for where Michelle’s locker was located. He normally met you at the front before going inside, but after a few minutes of waiting he figured you were already in with MJ. However, you were nowhere in her vicinity. Peter reached her and looked at the girl with an anxious look, causing her to look at him oddly. “What's up with you?”

“Y/N - have you seen her?”

“I have - we walked here together.” MJ stayed silent after that, and the brunette widened his eyes just a bit.

“Are you not going to tell me?”

“Nope.” She closed her locker and readjusted the strap of her bag, giving her friend a sarcastic smile before heading in the opposite direction he was facing. He scrambled to catch up with the pace she was walking, keeping a hold on the straps of his bag until he was right beside the decathlon girl. She didn't even pass him a glance after noticing he was still there, ignoring his presence for as long as she could. Feeling his gaze on her, she sighed and crossed her arms. “Look, she's pretty hurt by whatever you've been doing. So if you want me to tell you, you'd have to fix the problem.”

The brunette boy gave what she said some thought. It was an obvious solution, but not a simple one. If anyone against Spider-Man found out about your connection to him, it would cause more than a distraction. There was a good chance you'd be targeted; possibly kidnapped or injured just to spite him. His conscious just wouldn't allow him to tell you anything, but he knew it had to be done eventually. The fact that the risk of losing you was so high because of a secret was ridiculously... ridiculous? There was a reason heroes kept their identities hidden from everyone around them. Yet Peter couldn't help but think of some supers who had friends or family find them out and ended up being a huge asset to that side of their lives. So with a deep sigh that caused Michelle to raise an eyebrow in his direction, he looked over at her and nodded his head. “I'll fix it.”

•••

It still took longer for him to get anything out of MJ about where you were. Class didn't start for another half hour, so that gave him enough time to get there, tell you who he was talk to you, and hopefully come out being friends without anything else going wrong.

Once Peter made it to your location, he stopped and caught his breath as he stood before the closed door. Through the small window all he could see was an empty chemistry classroom save for your figure hunched over an open textbook and several types of equipment. He didn't move, only started to overthink. Each and every possible scenario that could happen roamed around in his mind as if they were regular memories. You could be in awe or shock. You could love the fact that your friend is a superhero. You could get upset because he didn't tell you and he really did lie during all the incidents that had happened. You could even stop speaking to him as a whole because of how big a secret it was without you even knowing. It all kept him in place and frozen in anxiety.

Any confidence the teenager had faded away in an instant when you noticed the unmoving person on the other side of the door and raised an eyebrow. With a slow wave and confused expression, all he could do was give you the same gesture with a nervous grin to match the way he was feeling. He continued to look between you, the doorknob, and down both ends of the hall before catching a glimpse of you starting to speak. Your voice was muffled, but he was able to hear it well enough to know what you were saying. “Are you coming in or not?”

“Oh! Uh, yeah.” Peter nodded his head, but still didn't move an inch. He tried to build his confidence back up as much as possible, which only confused you as the only thing you saw in that moment was him closing his eyes. With a deep breath on his end and a shrug on yours before you went back to work, he opened the door and walked through, making sure to close it behind him. He made his way over to the desk you were hunched over, not surprised when you didn't make any movements to properly acknowledge him. “So... hi.”

“Hi.” It was silent for a few seconds, but those seconds felt like forever to the boy with another identity. He just wanted to blurt it out, but he knew that with the amount of distance this has caused, it wouldn't help soothe the result of telling you.

“What are you doing?”

You looked up at him. “My grade is still slipping, so Mrs. Simms gave me an independent project.”

His ears perked up at the sound of an opportunity presenting itself to him. Maybe if I help her she'll be more relaxed! Peter moved himself to the other side of the surface so he was right beside you. His eyes scanned the contents of the book. “What do you need to do?”

“Um..” You stared at him while he continued to flip through pages of the section the textbook was open to. It was obvious you weren't too keen on speaking with him, as that seemed to have been the way of the world the past few weeks anyway. Yet here he was, wanting to stay and likely help out despite the weird tension around you two lately. “Just to create something new? I don't know. She seems to think I have this huge potential.”

“You do.” He looked at you, bent over the equipment and chemicals placed around the lab bench. The expression on your face was neutral, but he knew just how much pressure you felt, and it weighed on him. He was part of any stress you were having. From unintentionally neglecting the friendship to showing up as Spider-Man and implying they couldn't be friends to you knowing he was keeping something from you. Not to mention the pair of you were usually science buddies, which was partially why you did so well. Since the internship began, there was no time to study or work on an assignment together outside of class, so there was a fair chance that discouraged you from trying harder on your own.

You chuckled and stood straight, “I'm glad one of us thinks so." Your gaze traveled back to Peter's to find him already looking at you. Despite the drama that's gone on for weeks now, the crush you had on him never went away. However, you were still frustrated with the main issue of things being kept from you even with the several, weird Spider-Man situations going on. “Anyway—what is it that you needed?”

It seemed like you spooked him when his eyes widened, but really he just nearly forgot the actual reason he went looking for you in the first place. “O-oh, yeah. Um. I wanted to talk about what happened on Friday.”

It was quiet for a moment, then— “Okay, so talk.” You moved to another desk and used the surface to pull yourself up so you could sit on it.

Peter turned enough for him to face you fully, the nerves making their appearance again when he realized he was about to expose himself as the neighborhood's hero. There was no easy way to tell someone that you were the guy in red and blue swinging around and shooting spider webs at bad guys. Especially when that someone was important to you. Even with the amount of anxiety the current predicament gave him, he just wanted to get it all out. He took in a large breath, and opened his mouth. “I'm Spider-Man and I really hope you aren't angry but I swear the only reason I didn't tell you was because I wanted you to be safe so I'm really really sorry for everything but please don't hate me.”

The words tumbled out like a tsunami. Somehow you were able to catch each and every word in his rapid vent, and it only made your own breath hitch in your throat. It all made sense to you now. He wasn't just “friends” with the suit clad hero who saved your life, he was that hero. That was why he had Ned try and give the spider boy a bad name at lunch. That was why he was always late to hangouts or missed them entirely. Why he didn't have time for you guys after school. He was off doing brave and heroic things to keep Queens and other cities as safe as he could. Though, it also meant he was the one who came to you that night and—behind the mask—told you you couldn't like him or be friends with him. You even asked him after that night if he knew anything and he denied it when it was clear he was the only choice for how the hero knew that information. He wanted you to be safe, but was it really so dangerous when you were best friends with him?

#marvel #marvel fandom #peter parker #tom holland #spiderman #spiderman homecoming #hollander #marvel fanfiction #peter parker imagine #peter parker x reader #reader insert #tom holland imagine #tom holland x reader #fanfiction #mcu #peter parker au #tom holland au #fandom