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tsuki-sennin · 2 years

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Revice, Episode 48!

Jesus Christ, it's been 47 episodes already... not counting the vast amount of side content, that's a good deal over a thousand minutes worth of demon stamping, compelling family drama, and really poor marketing on Bandai's part. Yeah, I see you collectors, and I realize and sympathize with how unpleasant Revice's merchandising has been to your wallets when it really shouldn't have been.

If I seem a little cranky, it's because I woke up at 6 am after accidentally having a good bit of this episode spoiled for me. ...and also my mattress is awful, but you don't need to worry too much about that.

Spoilers, I guess... Fun fact, this is phrase is a holdover from the ancient days where I used to provide commentary on Chuggaaconroy's EarthBound LP remake. It was mostly meant to be kinda ironic, since I was talking about a Let's Play of all things, but I've said it so much it kinda feels weird to go without it.

...anyways, yeah, let's go then.

-Goddamn.

-Hewwo Kagerou.

-Oh hell yeah, the Evil suit's back. ...I realize that's not a huge deal, but

-Oh shit, the credits. ...I think I'm gonna be cheered up a bit soon.

-Oh my god, they use the stamps as stamps! ...where the hell was that?

-I realize this isn't very new, shaking the Fullbottles gives you their properties for a short time, and the SB-555P Faiz Phone works as an actual phone, but as somebody who started with late Heisei, it's so weird to see the collectibles actually used for stuff other than powering weapons or transformations.

-Nothing good comes from malice, Karizaki.

-Oh wow, the Demons Driver's fucked.

-Yeah, I know I really shouldn't be surprised, but it's been such an important fixture of the show for so long, that it's kinda weird to see it in this state.

-Yeah, Daddy Issues really do be like that, Dai-chan. Thank God I don't know shit or care about my dad.

-Ikki continuing to fight even at the risk of his own mind.

-Yeah, really having to

-Hello Hikaru-kun. ...think I have one of those shirts, it's real comfy.

-"I have no plan! That's why we're making one!"

-"SHADDAP AND LOOK!"

-Hello, Hana-chan!

-"Ahhhh, that's cute~! What a little dingus~! ...Wait a fucking second."

-Holy crap, Hikaru's being useful!

-Oh, this is Masumi's house. ...I mean, it was pretty silly to assume that the Ushijimas legally owned it, but

-AAAAAAAH

-THAT'S NOT A MIRROR, THAT'S A DOOR!

-Guess Hana and Tamaki are doing alright. That's good.

-Then again, killing them might be a bit beneath George's ideal.

-Yeah, Ikki really do be buttin' in.

-And because of that, Tamaki became epic, HanaSaku became best ship, and Daiji went through an extremely turbulent character arc.

-Thank you Tamaki, very cool.

-:)

-...y'know, with the Demons Driver scrapped, I wonder how it gets repaired in time for the movie's place in the continuity.

-Burn that bridge when we get to it, I guess.

-Open Sus-ame.

-Yeah Hikaru, go get them tools.

-"WHOOOOOOOOOA!"

-Oh...

-That's the whole family.

-My heart

-Otou...san

-Okaa-san..

-Man

-Bath time

-"Please be there for my son, I am consumed by regret and sorrow and am about to die for my crimes against humanity."

-Japan's Greatest Busybody, ready to make George's problems his problems too.

-Man... the art of good overdubbing is something that often goes unappreciated, but wow...

Hiromi: Hey George, you wanna go out for dinner sometime? :) George: Ew, that's gay, I'm not gay. ...well, maybe I am, but not for you Hiromi. Hiromi: :(

-Wow, Hiromi's even dressed his best for this.

-Big man with a point to prove.

-Juuga's transformation fucks, btw. I really like how the Megalodon is actually magenta, that's a really cool detail.

-Oh, and Juuga being an artificial imitation of Kuuga? Really cool call-back to the G3 System in Agito.

-Aaaaaaaaaand... Fight!

-Daaaamn, Crush Genome Edge!

-Hot damn.

-Gotta show George his best, Ikki.

-I don't have a whole lot to say about the action, which is really good by the way, but I do wanna take a bit to talk about something interesting.

-George seeking to completely free himself from Masumi's control is a very interesting motivation... his obsession with the Riders is ironically only possible because of his dad and people like him. Shocker, Noah, the countless organizations like them, they all sought power for their own purposes, damn near all of them extremely selfish ones. And the Riders rose above that selfishness and their own personal tragedies to become heroes.

-That's where the Karizakis come in. Masumi formed his own organization. Combating the Deadmans and the corrupt Fenix is definitely a noble goal, but Masumi's logic and method for doing so are selfish. I have to ponder whether or not Masumi would be so willing to atone for his mistakes if he never had George. With how long he's been playing everybody on the field, how willing he is to dig through his son's garbage.

-And meanwhile, at Fenix, George indulged in his own vices. Sacrificing practicality for things he thought were cool with Revice, creating the TwoSiDriver and letting Kagerou steal it, willingly putting Hiromi in such danger without questioning why... even decades into the future, with the world in outright ruin, we see George holed up in his basement with all of his favorite Riders, tinkering away and hoping for the ultimate lucky break.

-It's just as Ikki's trying to drill into George's head. He really can't forget the good times he had with his Dad, no matter what. I'm sure Ikki is imagining, just as we are right now, what kind of even stronger non-demonic Rider would be created if the two could've truly become a family again.

-Actually, come to think of it, we don't have to imagine what that'd be like. Because we've seen Kamen Rider Century first hand. We met Ryunosuke and Hideo Momose in Beyond Generations, going through the almost exact same scenario. Evil science guy with a love for his family is involved in the creation of a Kamen Rider in the 20th century. He disappears after dealings with demons and turns up decades later in the future. The son has never truly moved on or accepted the loss of his relationship with his father, and understandably refuses to hear anything he has to say now out of a very understandable feeling. Thanks to Ikki's intervention, the two are willing to put aside their conflict for the sake of the world. Ikki murders the fuck out of the big evil scary demon monster, and the world is safe once again, please buy our toys.

-Where's the difference in their story that caused their vastly different endings, you ask? Well, if you ask me, what separated the Momoses from the Karizakis was their willingness and opportunity to communicate. Having a kid of his own had to have put things in perspective for Hideo, and Ryunosuke being so openly happy to see his son again would've made things go a lot smoother. Meanwhile George and Masumi treat each other very aloofly, not unjustifiably on George's part to be clear, and so they were very unwilling to meet in a way that didn't involve the Igarashis or Weekend in some way. I think the biggest difference between them though was time. Both runtime and in-universe time. The Momoses made up basically over the course of an afternoon because they recognized the necessity of working together thanks to the immediate threat of Diablo, but the Karizakis didn't have that epiphany. Giff took his sweet-ass time enacting his plans, and as such, the Karizakis were made to stew in their own failure.

-Side note, I find it very ironic that the Momoses were able to repair their familial bond thanks to the Karizakis' inventions.

-I apologize that was so long and rambling, I had a lot of thoughts and if I didn't get them out there, I'd be thinking about them all week. Call it retreading if you'd like, but I thought this contrast was very interesting.

-Anyways, enough about that, let's kick some ass!

-NO ONE CAN EVER KNOW! AKUMA NO SASAYAKI GA CALLING!

-"Ah dammit, Ikki's really goin' for it."

-"Well, whaddya gonna do?"

-C'mon George, you gotta hit harder!

-DEALING WITH THE DEVIL!

-Well, we won.

-Look at this, George.

-It's that really cool dinosaur you drew as a kid.

-And all your really cool prehistoric animal buddies, all of whom make up your Juuga Driver.

-There you go man, let it out.

-...I'd do the same thing if it were my mom, I won't lie.

-Oh... right...

-"Who are they?"

-Fuck, man.

-Literally lost everything but Vice.

-Oh fuck, Destream next episode! Finally!

-For the love of god, please end on a good note Revice, I'm beggin' ya on my hands and knees here.

#revive the vice: imprinted like stamps and fossils #kamen rider #kr revice #revice spoilers #kamen rider revice #tsuki talks

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69misato69 · 2 years

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Welcome Home (Kaeya x Albedo One Shot) ✦ 2k, smut

Albedo comes home after the Irodori Festival in Inazuma. Extremely horny bratty needy clingy Albedo, degrading dominant top Kaeya, established relationship.

Top Kaeya x Bottom Albedo

content warnings: choking, blowjobs, rimming, breeding kink, degradation kink, blood and slight pain kink, butt plugs, consensual non-safe gay sex

writer's note: explicit +18 content, please view at your own risk. thank you, have fun !

“Diluc should really stop letting you near the bar.” Rosaria sighed as she forcefully sipped the new “signature cocktail” that Kaeya mixed. He brought his index finger onto his lips, eyeing his brother who was preoccupied with the customers, “Hush, no one said he let me.”

“This is absolutely horrendous, I’m getting some wine.” Rosaria walked up to the bar in annoyance as Kaeya chuckled and sipped his drink, it really wasn’t the best of Angel’s Share. Before he could realize, the empty seat next to him filled with the likes of a certain head alchemist.

“Hey, where did you come from?” Kaeya smiled and pulled the blonde in for a hug. “Uh…Inazuma City, precisely.” Albedo chuckled, wrapping his arms around Kaeya. “Look who it is.” Rosaria put down two bottles of dandelion wine on the wooden table. “Hey, Rosaria.” he greeted joyfully. “Want some wine?” she asked, her only way of saying hello.

Albedo nodded no, fixing his gloves. “Thank you but I’m incredibly tired, is it alright if we take off?” he asked, hoping not to come off rude, luckily Rosaria was the last person to mind. “Go rest, I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”

“Byeeee!” Kaeya kissed her on the cheek sloppily, eliciting an eye roll and then waved to Diluc. “Hey, you didn’t pay!” the man exclaimed. “Uh…It’s on the house because you love me so much?” Kaeya gave him his best puppy face. Diluc waved his hand, “Just go, and bring Mora next time.”

“You’re the best, brother!” the captain’s voice echoed into the street as the two left the bar. “Tsk.” Diluc turned away to reach for the tonic, a smile formed on his face and went unnoticed by anyone but Rosaria.

“You’re back early, no? I wanted to come pick you up at night.” Kaeya asked. Albedo scratched his head, “Well my job was done yesterday but there were no ships set to sail. Then I met this captain from Liyue, she said she came to pick up her kid and that I could return with them.” he explained.

Kaeya hummed, getting his boyfriend up to speed with what he missed at work and their plans for the week.

Albedo reached down and slipped his hand in Kaeya’s palm. It wasn’t frequent that he would be affectionate in public. “Mm, somebody missed me I feel like.” Kaeya teased, intertwining his fingers with Albedo’s. “I missed you so much.” the alchemist looked into Kaeya’s eyes and stated genuinely.

Kaeya brought the back of Albedo’s hand to his lips and placed a gentle kiss, “I missed you too, my love.” His words never failed to make the blonde blush. They talked about Inazuma and the festival along the rest of the way, finally arriving at their shared apartment.

Kaeya took off his jacket and sank on the couch, “Do you need help unpacking?” he pointed at the luggage Albedo put down in the living room. The alchemist climbed on his lap, hands wrapping around Kaeya’s broad shoulders. “Not with my bag but… maybe something else?” he leaned slowly to press his lips against the captain’s neck.

Kaeya chuckled, “Didn’t we come home because you’re tired?” Albedo’s lips trailed down to his collarbones. “We came home to fuck.” he spoke onto Kaeya’s skin. “Good god. You’re down bad.” the captain joked. He absolutely loved how different Albedo was when they were alone.

He was straightforward and blunt, never hesitant to ask for what he wanted. Never afraid to praise Kaeya, show him how needy and desperate he got around him. Clingy and affectionate, jealous when he didn’t get enough attention. Jealous of whatever Kaeya was doing instead of doing him.

Albedo’s kisses got sloppier, running his tongue all over the captain’s upper body. He moved upward slowly, nibbling on Kaeya’s earlobe, eliciting a light gasp from his boyfriend. “Come on Kaeya. Didn’t you get tired of playing with yourself all week?” he whispered seductively into his ear. “Play with me, hm?”

Kaeya grabbed a handful of Albedo’s hair to turn his face towards himself, “Be a good slut like you always are, and I just might.” He watched Albedo’s eyes darken with lust before going in for a heated kiss. Both of them hungry and sloppy.

Kaeya remained relatively in control of himself, exploring Albedo’s mouth passionately while his hands danced on the alchemist’s back and thighs. Albedo, on the other hand, was grinding needily on Kaeya’s lap, small noises and heavy breaths escaped his mouth in between kisses as he yearned for more friction.

The captain pulled away slightly, examining the blonde’s reddened cheeks. “You’re whimpering like a pathetic little puppy, I’m barely doing anything.” Albedo hissed, his shorts feeling so tight at the crotch that it was beginning to hurt, “I just…really need you Kaeya, please?”

“Well, since you asked so nicely.” Kaeya decided it was enough teasing, he stood up with Albedo’s legs wrapped around his waist and carried him to the bedroom.

To Albedo, it was fun to beg. He adored being at Kaeya’s mercy, depending on him for pleasure. And for Kaeya, it was immensely arousing to see his boyfriend cry out for the thing he was going to give him in the end regardless. Always a fun little game of testing each other’s patience and boundaries.

He placed Albedo on the bed and got on his knees, slowly removing his coat and boots. The alchemist waited as patiently as he could while Kaeya stripped him of his clothes, taking off his tights and shorts, leaving small kisses all over his legs and waist.

Albedo tugged on the captain’s shirt, “I wanna see.” he whined. Kaeya chuckled and got up to take off his clothes until both of them were in their underwear only. “Happy?” he got on his knees again, caressing the alchemist’s thighs and looking up at him seductively.

“Ecstatic.” Albedo answered, he was utterly obsessed with the captain’s naked body, the way his small waist contrasted the broad shoulders and muscular arms, how his dark blue locks draped over his pecs, the white strands shining along the glowing golden brown skin.

Kaeya pushed him backwards on the bed, pulling down the thin piece of fabric to reveal his rock hard erection. Albedo had already spread his legs, back arched and arms over his head, squirming slightly in anticipation for the captain’s next move.

Kaeya’s hands reached for the alchemist’s hips, his fingertips lightly brushing against the skin all over his groin, thighs, hips and sides. He put his palms on the bed to both sides of Albedo’s head, leaning an inch away from his flustered face with a grin, “You look so pretty all laid out for me like that.”

Albedo’s cock twitched on Kaeya’s thigh, “Why don’t you fill me up then?” he asked, his heavy breaths steaming the little bit of air they had between their faces.

Kaeya grabbed the blonde’s chin harshly and rested his forehead on his, eyes locked with a predatory look, “Oh I will. Don’t you worry. I’ll breed you like the filthy dog you are.” he hissed. Albedo’s heart dropped, looking back at the captain in absolute awe.

Kaeya chuckled, letting go of the alchemist’s face and leaving a trail of kisses down to his belly, feasting on him slowly, exploiting the sweet spots, playing with his sensitive pink buds as pleasant moans from Albedo filled the room.

He ran his tongue along the V-line on the blonde’s groin, then licked the tip of his cock already leaking with precum. Albedo hissed at the sudden warmth, hands wrapping around Kaeya’s hair. The captain didn’t make him wait any longer, wrapping his lips around Albedo’s shaft that was begging for attention.

He slid back and forth, rounding up his tongue skilfully all over the alchemist’s dick as his toes curled up with pleasure. Kaeya pulled away, making Albedo whine and glare at him impatiently. The captain placed the pale legs over his shoulders, slightly elevating Albedo’s hips and licking down from his balls down to his pink hole.

The alchemist gasped, Kaeya was unfazed, he started applying more pressure around the rim, pushing the tip of his tongue inside. Albedo was writhing, gripping at the sheets now that Kaeya’s hair was out of his reach.

The captain held down his hips with one hand and stretched out his other hand for Albedo to hold. The slender fingers gripped his own, squeezing and releasing as Kaeya’s tongue went in and out of him.

Kaeya’s movements accelerated, sucking and licking Albedo’s puffy hole and occasionally teasing him with a finger. The alchemist was moaning incoherent words, eyes rolled to the back of his head. His nails were digging into Kaeya’s skin, drawing blood from the back of his hand.

The captain pulled away slightly and looked up at Albedo, “Keep hurting me like that and I might have to hurt you back.” His finger was curling inside the blonde teasingly.

Albedo tried to catch his breath, getting his back off the bed slightly to bring Kaeya’s hand to his lips. “Is that a threat or a promise?”, he locked eyes with the captain and licked away the drops of blood, sucking on the small cuts he made involuntarily.

Kaeya grunted with a wave of pain and pleasure, “Both.”

Albedo laid back down, watching his boyfriend take off his underwear and get on top of him. He closed his palm down on Albedo’s mouth for the boy to spit and placed an innocent kiss on his neck, eliciting a shudder.

“Mm, how sensitive. Sure you can handle it babyboy?” Kaeya teased, bringing his hand down to smear the spit all over his cock. Albedo watched the captain pump himself with a hungry gaze, “Anything for you, my prince. The real question is, can you?” he looked up with half-lidded eyes.

Kaeya chuckled, “Quite daring today, I see.” He loved him like this, submissive yet feisty, challenging him even though he could barely keep in place.

He lined up with Albedo’s hips, his tip poking at the entrance. The alchemist’s hands wrapped around his sides and he pushed in slowly. Kaeya leaned down, kissing Albedo passionately as the blonde moaned into his mouth.

His insides sucked Kaeya in, warm and inviting. Albedo was panting and squirming as the captain brushed up against his prostate. “Fuck.” Kaeya cursed under his breath. He brought his hand to the blonde’s neck and nailed him to the bed with a tight grip. Albedo let out muffled moans, squeezing the captain’s shoulders.

“So fucking tight.” Kaeya hissed . “I should’ve left a plug up your ass for the whole trip.” Albedo laughed erratically with pleasure. “Oh, you like that?” Kaeya picked up the pace, thrusting harder and blocking Albedo’s airway even more. The alchemist nodded, trying to look at the captain but his pupils kept disappearing back.

“You like it when I talk down on you, hm?” Kaeya parted the boy’s lips and spat in his mouth, Albedo swallowing blissfully and opening up for more. “I should always treat you like the fucktoy you are.” his eyes pierced into the alchemist’s, tears pooling around his from arousal and asphyxiation.

“Maybe I’ll keep you chained up all day and feed you nothing but my dick.” Kaeya smirked, Albedo nodding his head ecstatically while his whole body convulsed under the captain. Kaeya was banging against his prostate, abusing his puffy whole and sending shockwaves through the blonde’s spine.

The captain retracted his hand, tears rolling down Albedo’s face as he released in between their stomachs, coughing and panting with the sudden entry of air to his lungs. Kaeya pulled out, grabbing Albedo’s hair harshly and pushing his head down on his stomach.

“You filthy animal. Look at the fucking mess you made.” he bashed. Albedo looked up at him with a desperate look, too fazed to apologize with words. “Clean it up, NOW.” Kaeya yelled and tightened his grip on Albedo’s hair. The alchemist whimpered, licking his cum off of Kaeya’s stomach.

The captain threw him on his stomach, plunging back into him with full force. Albedo screamed with pain, and cried out with pleasure. “Can’t go a week without my cock, you pathetic slut. Maybe I spoil you too much.” Kaeya spat out, holding onto Albedo’s hips and fucking into him even harder.

“No…please…” the alchemist faintly spoke. “What was that?” Kaeya asked with a demanding tone. “Please don’t—ngh… don’t stop spoiling me.”

The captain grinned and reached inside the drawer. He picked up the pace, railing Albedo at an animalistic pace as he sobbed violently, head pressed down on the sheets by Kaeya until he released inside. He exhaled sharply, chest still heaving as he pulled out and swiftly pushed the buttplug inside Albedo.

Kaeya placed a kiss on his waist, “A welcome home gift for you, my love.”

#genshin smut #genshin impact #kaeya smut #albedo smut #kaebedo #albedo #genshin #kaeyagenshinimpact #albedo genshin impact #kaeya x albedo #tw degradation #mlm #mlm smut #established relationship

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lilacs-fandom-garden · 3 years

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Incorrect Quotes 3

Sorry for not updating in a while, anyway, Merry Christmas! Heres Incorrect Quotes 3!

Ships:

Crossmare

Errorink

Dustberry

Scifell

Horrorlust

Driller/Kreme

Afterdeath

Fandom: Undertale AU’s

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Blue: I'd like to address Ink's annoying personal habits.

Ink: Oh my God! What personal habits?

Blue: I have a list. FYI overuse of the phrase "Oh my God" is number 12.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dream: I'm sorry for all the stuff I said.

Ink: And for punching me in the face?

Dream: No, you definitely deserved that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ink: It's a good thing I still have this sexy cat costume!

Blue: I really don't think you were the target audience for that costume.

Lust: There is nothing gendered about a sexy cat.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Blue: I made tea.

Ink: I don't want tea.

Blue: I didn't make tea for you. This is my tea.

Ink: Then why are you telling me?

Blue: It's a conversation starter.

Ink: That's a lousy conversation starter.

Blue: Oh, is it? We're conversing. Checkmate

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ink: Am I cool or what?

Geno: What.

Ink: I said, am I cool or-

Geno: Yeah, I heard you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ink: You go big or you go home. And you don’t seem like the kind of person that goes home.

Cross: I’m not. I don’t even really have a home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dust: Those pants look great, and I bet they’d look even better on Horror’s floor.

Horror: Are you hitting on Lust... for me?

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Killer: I've lied to every girl I said "I love you" to. I thought I loved them but then I met you and realized I've never been in love before.

Dream: Aw. I did not know that.

Killer: Yeah, it was eating me up inside. So, I called them each individually and said "I never loved you."

Dream: Okay, that seems unnecessary.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Blue: We're going mattress shopping.

Dust: You know, once we get it, we'll have to break it in.

Blue: Oh, I hear what you're saying. Mattress trampoline.

Dust:

Blue: Wait, no. You were talking about sex.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Blue: Uh oh.

Fell: What?

Blue: Somebody's in love.

Fell: Yeah, right. I just think Sci’s cool. It's not like I lay awake at night thinking about him.

Fell, later that night: shit.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dream: You guys just got back together. You might not want to ditch him on his birthday.

Blue: I think Dream has a point. You can see it another day.

Ink: But someone might spoil the movie. No one can spoil Error's birthday for me. Surprise, he's even older. Who saw that coming?

Dream: Aww, that's nice. Put that on his cake.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dust: We're lost.

Horror: Lost? As in "where the hell are we?"

Dust: We're not totally lost. We're still in Waterfall.

Killer: You said this was a shortcut.

Dust: It is a shortcut! Look how fast we got lost!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killer: Before I do anything, I ask myself, would Dust do that? And if the answer is yes, I do not do that thing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cross: Nightmare, I typed up your symptoms into the thing up here, and it says you may have network connectivity problems.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cross: I would have been here sooner but the bus kept stopping for other people to get on it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dust: How do you keep your pants up when battling? Its incredible!

Error:

Error: belt.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dust: Nightmare!! Theres an ugly monster under my bed!

Killer (who is on the bottom bunk of the bunk bed): Alright. Screw you too!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dream: You took so long in the shower!

Ink: Yeah sorry, I was at a concert.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cross: Holy crap, you’re so violent-

Error: Yeah, but i'm short so it's adorable.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nightmare: I scared them again didn’t I?

Cross: They’re terrified of you-

Nightmare:

Nightmare: That makes me so happy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ink: Error?

Error: What?

Ink: You kicked me in your sleep!

Error: ….who said I was asleep?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Horror: Why would you give Dust a knife?!

Killer: He felt unsafe.

Horror: Well now I feel unsafe!

Killer: …...would you like a knife as-well?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Error: Okay, lets stop using the term ‘butt-hurt’. We are adults not 12 year olds.

Cross: You sound fannytroubled.

Ink: A little bootybothered if you asked me.

Dust: Someones having a tushytantrum

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nightmare: HAS ANYONE SEEN MY SONS?!

Nightmare: OH GOD HORROR!

Nightmare: THAT MOTHERS ADRENALINE IS KICKING IN-

Nightmare: DUST!

Nightmare: I CAN SEE EVERY EQUATION!!

Nightmare: Excuse me ma’am?! Have you seen my sons?! They’re about this tall- all clearly gay but we havent had the talk.

Nightmare: KILLER ARE YOU IN THERE?!

Nightmare: *kicks down trash can violently*

Error:

Error: Cross control your boyfriend jesus-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Enjoy some quotes from Disney/Nickelodeon Shows!: (I uh- also added some cusswords lol-)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dust: I'M PREGNANT-

Killer: You’re not pregnant!

Horror: Wait- who’s pregnant?!

Dust: ME!

Horror: Congratulations!

Killer: He’s not pregnant!

Dust: Easy Killz! I’m with child-!

Killer: You’re not with child!

Horror: I’m gonna be an uncle!!!

Killer: YOU’RE NOT GONNA BE AN UNCLE!

Horror: Then who’s gonna teach the little guy how to ride a bike?!

Error: Calm down Dust! You’re not pregnant.

Dust: Then why am I so moody and nauseous?!

Dust: I think it's the morning sickness!

Error: ...Dust…

Error: you’re a boy.

Dust: ...oh yeah-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sci: Sorry, but the convertants of air streams coming from the vents are creating a dangerous draft on the guest chair.

Blue: Alright...but if I catch a cold and start coughing and sneezing uncontrollably it will be on you. LITERALLY-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Blue: Ink! Geno! Please..! Violence is never the solution-

Blue: *gets hit in the face by a pillow and falls down*

Blue: HECK WITH THE NON-VIOLENCE..! I AM ON YOU LIKE STRIPES ON A TIGER-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killer: *snoring on the couch*

Nightmare: Awww- he fell asleep mid clean! I’ll wake him.

Nightmare: KILLER!!!!

Killer: AHH! *sprays cleaning spray on Nightmare’s face*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cross: Who took all my scarfs?! I need them for tomorrow--

Dust swinging on a rope made out of cross’s scarfs: *doing a tarzan yell and crashing into the kitchen*

Dust coming out of the kitchen with spoons forks and knifes on him: Now that was awesome!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sci: Well...I brought a book you could read-

Ink: NOOOOOOOOO- *runs away*

Sci: Too easy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Blue: I'm a hugger!!!!

Dust: I'M A HUGGIE-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killer: I did not see that coming.

Killer: *gets smacked in the arm by a drone* OW!

Nightmare: Apparently you don't see a lot of things coming.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Horror: ...what's that?

A random stranger: It's lasagna… and it's for a Christmas Party I’m going to.

Horror: We could have a party right now-!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cross: What are you all getting Nightmare for his birthday?

Killer: A slightly used lip balm.

Dust: A free hug.

Error: My profound admiration.

Horror: *picks up salt shaker* This salt shaker.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ink: Oh, this is my chum bucket! I’m going to catch a giant squid and tame it!

Dream: ...you’re a weird kid.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lust: Now all we have to do is wait for the guests to show up!

Lust:

Blue:

Lust: Oh...we forgot to invite people….

Blue: Yup, sure did-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nightmare: Its not like anybody died…!

Dream: We haven't seen the rest of the tape…..

Nightmare:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killer: IS THAT A TATTOO?!

Killer while rubbing Dust’s arm: COME OFF COME OFF COME OFF!!!

Dust: Hey! The only thing coming off is my arm!

Killer: What am I going to tell Nightmare?! Oh….oh! I got it! We’ll just cut off your arm!

Cross: Good idea! Because that's easier to explain then a tattoo.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Horror and Dust: *battling with pool noodles*

Blue laying on the ground: HALT!

Horror and Dust: …?

Blue: Does anyone have a pillow? This ground is really hard!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killer: Nightmare can you do me a big favor��?

Nightmare: You need a handsome man to go with you to the reunion? No problem...I’ll do it!

Killer: I meant to see if you could call one of your friends or your brother but uh-

Nightmare: *death stare*

Killer: okay...you’ll do-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dust: Two days to learn a language?

Dust: I got some spanish for ya! No way Jose- haha!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cross: And I’m sorry I said he was my favorite-

Horror: It's alright Dad! To be honest, I always preferred Nightmare.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dream: I know there is still some good left in you!

Nightmare: No there isn’t-! Wait.

Nightmare: *visibly cringing*

Nightmare referring to Passive Night: Agrh! There's still a piece of good. DARN IT!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dust: *pretends to yawn to sling his arm over Blue to dim the lights*

Dust: Do you mind?

Blue: Not at all. While we’re at it.

Blue: *throws one of Error’s puppets at the radio to play some convenient romantic music*

Blue and Dust: *about to kiss on the couch*

Horror in the kitchen doorway: *holding a glass of milk* What are you doing?

Blue and Dust: AH! HORROR!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ink: What are you saying? That I’m dumb?!

Error: Well- no… you’re just not very….thinky.

Ink: Thinky? Why did you say that?!

Error: Because Geno told me I cant call you dumb.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dream: Hey Killer? Can you get me some punch?

Killer: Sure, I’ll be right back.

Passive Nightmare: Cross? Can you get me some punch too?

Cross: What? Your feet dont work?

Passive:

Cross: Ice or no ice…?

Passive: Surprise me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nightmare: If you all want your phones….

Nightmare: *shows box of phones* They’re right here.

Blue:

Dream:

Horror:

Dust:

Killer:

Ink:

Blue visibly shaking:

Dream: Blue…

Blue starts vibrating a bit:

Dream: Blue.

Blue starts vibrating:

Dream: BluE-

Blue: *war scream*

Everyone except Nightmare and Blue: OH SHIT-

Blue: I NEED MY PHONE- *starts running at nightmare*

Everyone else: BLUE NO *tries to restrain Blue*

Blue screaming: *kicks Ink in the stomach causing him to fall backwards*

Dust and Horror screaming: *trying to hold Blues legs and arms*

Blue still screaming: *elbows Horror in the ribs*

Horror letting go of Blue: OW!!

Dust accidentally lets his grip loosen on Blue: HOLY SHIT! HORROR?!

Blue who is still screaming: *pushing Dust to the ground and running at the box* I NEED MY PHONE-

Killer: *tackles Blue*

Dream: *helping Killer restrain Blue*

Ink: *confused screaming*

Nightmare: *laughing*

Blue: *flips over also flipping over Killer and kicking him in the chest*

Killer: FUCK! *rolls over and clutches onto his chest*

Dream: HOLY CRAP BLUE CALM DOWN- *grabs onto both of Blue’s arms*

Blue screaming and kicks Dream in the shin: I NEED MY PHONE-

Dream: *falls down grabbing his shin* MOTHER FU-

Blue running and grabbing the box of phones: GIVE ME MY PHONE-

Ink trying to grab hold of Blue: BLUE WAIT-

Blue screaming and hits Ink in the face with the box: AHHH

Everyone else except Ink: *charging at Blue*

Blue grabs phone from out of the box: I GOT IT I GOT IT-

Horror: *hoists up a screaming Blue in the air*

Dust: *grabbing Blue from the thighs lifting him up even more*

Killer: *grabbing Blue’s phone from his hands*

Blue: NOOOOOO-

Killer: *puts Blue’s phone in the box*

Blue screaming and squirming: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Ink: *grabbing a chair*

Dream: *helping Dust and Horror restrain Blue*

Blue: *flipping around screaming and kicking*

Nightmare: *still laughing*

Everyone: *sets Blue down on the chair Ink grabbed*

Dream, Horror, and Dust: *holding Blue down on the chair and shushing him*

Blue: *calms down*

Ink: Holy shit...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Here are more incorrect quotes:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killer: Hey do you want to- stop screaming, its just me- do you want to watch a movie with me?

Dream: I'M IN THE SHOWER-

Killer: Okay well when you’re done with that do you want to watch a movie with me?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

F!Frisk: You don't think I can fight because I'm a girl.

Blue: I don't feel like you can fight because you are in a wedding dress. But for what it's worth, I don't think Ink could fight in that dress either.

Ink: Perhaps not, but I would make a radiant bride.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Classic banging on the closet door: Fell! Open up!

Fell: Well, it all started when I was born-

Classic: No I meant-

Blue: Shh....let him finish.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dust: *sneaking in through the window at 2am*

Nightmare *flicking on the light and turning around in his chair*: So, Where were you?

Dust: I-I was with Cross!

Cross *turning around in his chair*: Wanna try again..?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Epic: Bruh, I want to give you the whole world but like...I only have 20 bucks.

Cross: Dude, come here.

Epic: *moves closer*

Cross: *hugs him*

Cross: I don't have any money but I got the world right here in my arms.

Epic: B r u h...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killer: How high was I last night?

Dream: You forgot what milk was and called it cereal water.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Blue to Ink: What time is it...?

Ink: Don't know. Hand me that flute and I'll find out

*Ink plays the flute*

Dream: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE FLUTE AT 2 AM?!

Ink: It's 2am

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cross doing a CROSS-word puzzle: I need a 9 letter word for disappointment....

Ink: Nightmare.

Dream and Cross slowly rising from their seats: Are you ready to fucking die..?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Blue: How do Horror and Dust get out of these messes?

Killer: They don't. They just make a bigger mess to cancel out the first one.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Passive Nightmare: Do I want to be feared or loved? Easy.

Passive: Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.

Cross under his breath: Then I'm fucking terrified.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ink: I'd like everybody's attention. Christmas is canceled.

Blue: You can't cancel a holiday.

Ink: Keep it up, Blue, and you'll lose New Year's.

Blue: What does that mean?

Ink: Dream, take New Year's away from Blue.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lust: okay so the gingerbread house instructions say to be very delicate-

Sci: *holding power drill* DELICACY!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killer: I can't believe you and Horror broke the bed last night.

Dust: It must have been wild.

Lust: Haha... Yeah...

[Last Night]

Lust: Bet 35G you can't jump high enough to touch the ceiling.

Horror: Try me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cross: Hey ya'll. So, I know I'm the new guy here, but I think I can speak for everyone when I say... I don't know what the fuck is going on.

The Bad Guys: Agreed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[Sets kitchen on fire]

Dust: shit- we need an adult.

Horror: You ARE an adult!

Dust looking extremely terrified: oh...oh fuck.

Horror: WE NEED AN ADULTIER ADULT. QUICK GO GET KILLER!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nightmare: It's hard being the leader of the bad guys sometimes, but I love them all and that's all what matters-

Horror: Nightmare! Me, Fell, Dust, Killer, and Lust tried to make ramen in the coffee pot and we broke everything....

Nightmare: [inhales]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killer: You need a hobby Dust.

Dust: I already have a hobby Killer.

Killer: How many times do I have to tell you stalking Blue is not a hobby.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Error: Ink? Why are you on top of the fridge?

Ink: Can I not be wherever I want?! Maybe I like it up here!

Error:

Error: Wheres the spider?

Ink, quietly: Underneath the table...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dust: I have come up with a three-step plan to get Nightmare to marry you!

Cross: Okay...Im listening....

Dust: Step one! Get him to play truth or dare.

Cross: Never mind please stop.

Dust: Step two! Wait for him to pick dare.

Cross: Dust. I swear.

Dust: Step three! Dare him to marry you.

Cross: God damn it.

Horror from another room: IT MIGHT WORK!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killer: Synonyms are weird. Because if you invite someone to your cottage in the forest, that just sounds nice and cozy, but if someone invites you to a cabin in the woods, you're going to die.

Blue: My favorite is 'butt-dial' vs 'booty call'

Sci: It's called connotation

Lust: Also, 'forgive me father for I have sinned'

Lust winking at horror: Vs 'sorry daddy, I've been naughty'

Horror whose face is now completely red: I-

Nightmare: Congrats! Language has officially been canceled.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dream, joking: I should have Killer kill you for that

Killer from another room: who?

Dream: Oh no its okay, I was kidding around-

Killer, walking in, with a hammer and knife in both hands: No, is he bothering you?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Classic teaching Fell how to drive: Alright, you see Dust walking in the middle of the road. What do you hit?

Fell: ...oh definitely Dust.

Classic: The brakes Fell! You hit the brakes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dust: Quick! Take my hand!

Blue: *grabs Dusts hand* Now what?

Dust: Nothing. I just wanted to hold hands!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cross upset: I hate you guys and I'm never talking to a single one of you ever again!

[10 minutes later]

Cross kissing everyone's forehead: Goodnight Horror, Goodnight Lust, Goodnight Dust, Goodnight Killer, Goodnight Error.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Blue: Psst! Error!

Error: what?

Blue: I made this friendship bracelet for you!

Error: Blue... you know I'm not really a jewerly person...

Blue: Oh. Its okay! You dont have to wear it-

Error: No. I'm going to wear it forever back off.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dust: Me and Killer get along fine! Right Killz?

Killer: I've never been more stressed out in my entire life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cross: I guess I'm just too tough to cry.

Horror: Just yesterday you were crying about snakes.

Cross sobbing a little: THEY DON'T HAVE ARMS HORROR-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Reaper: Hey bitches!!! I've got starbuckssss-

Dust: YAY!!!

Error: FUCK YEAH-

Lust: AWESOME!

Nightmare: Reaper...please...its 3 am in the morning....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dream: Are you a cuddler?

Killer: I AM A MACHINE OF DEATH AND DESTRUCTION- yeah I'm a cuddler.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Classic: Dont talk to me.

Papyrus: What happened brother?

Classic: I went and joined a Sans look-alike contest...

Classic: AND LOST-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dream: Sibling relationships are weird.

Dream: Like, I'd give Nightmare my spine but no way is he borrowing my charger.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dust: Whats it like dating Nightmare?

Cross: One timeI asked him for water while he was still mad at me, and he brought be a full glass of ice and said "wait".

Dust:

Cross:

Cross: I love him-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dust: I can't go. Stress is bad for the baby.

Killer: What baby?

Dust: Me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ink: I hate it when people ask me "whats the stupidest thing you've done?" Like bold of you to assume I've reached peak dumbass.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nightmare: If someone ever kidnapped you, I would hunt them down to the ends of the earth so I could kill them.

Cross: If you asked I would literally kill everyone in this room with no hesitation.

Dream [A little terrified and disturbed]: You know this is not what normal couples say to each other right...?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Geno: How do you politely tell someone you want to hit them in the face with a brick?

Sci: One wishes to acquaint your facial features in a fundamental item used in building walls. Repeatedly.

Lust shedding a fake tear: Thats the most beautiful thing I've ever heard....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Blue, opening a Capri-sun: Guess I'll just drink my sorrows away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sorry if I posted a quote twice-

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polyam-tf2 · 2 years

Note

How would they react to a tenth member of the team who happens to be a female around Scout’s age? Would they let her join the polycule or would they just be her gay best friends? If they let her join, how would they do it? Would they just ask her or would one or more of them do the dirty with her first?

(I personally ship myself with a few of the mercs lol)

General Hc's + Scout! (the rest under the cut)

-They'd be Really Confused abt a New Person joining them in Tuefort -They'd let you join the Polycule but it would Take a hot Second -You'd probably have to Ask them first rather than Them inviting you

Scout: -The first thing he does after seeing you is Flirt with you -Please don't Flirt back. For everyone's Sanity -If you happen to Fancy him He'll be Very Proud and Very Happy and More than A Little Surprised -If you start Dating him you Will Not be Able to date Spy -The idea of Dating you when you Like his Son makes his Stomach Churn

Pyro: -New Friend! -They think you're neat :) -Unless you're Skilled in Making Things go Boom they Probably won't Find you that Interesting -You became a Merc Somehow Though So you Probably have a Trick or Two up Your sleeves That might Draw their Romantic Intrest

Heavy: -This man Gay. -He doesn't have Any romantic Intrest in Woman -Honestly he'll be Very,,, Looming. At First -He can be Scary just by his Size and Silence. -Eventually when You Earn his Trust He'll become The Very Large, Very Friendly, Russian Bear That we All Know and Love

Medic: -Creepy Smilling -SO MUCH creepy smiling -If this man likes you You will see him silently smiling at you. -Either he Wants to Experiment on Your Body or He Wants to Work With You -"Weißt du, deine Brüste würden dein kostbares Herz besser schützen, wenn sie Kuhbrüste wären."

Google Translate That at Your Own Risk

Soldier: -If you make Romantic Advances I Fear for You -Not bc of Anything Solly Would Do -It's his Wife I'd Worry About -The Only reason He's in the Polycule is Because Zhanna KNOWS Everyone there -Where Spy and Scot's Mom are Extremely Open Relationship, Soldier and Zhanna NEED to know everyone in the Polycule for Trust to Happen -Necksnap Somebody for this Man and You Will Have his Heart -Do it In Front of Medic and That Could be Literal

Spy: -The only One out of Who has No Qualms with Fucking You before Talking you Out on a Date -This is actually a Part of a Larger Agreement in the Polycule that as Long as He doesn't Contract an STD they Don't care who he Does the Do with -This is different than his Romantic Endeavors However -Once you enter the Polycule he will Slowly try to Romance You -This Fails So Hard Unless You Love Cheesy Stuff

Demo: -Similar to Pyro and Soldier he's a lot more Attracted to skill rather than Anything Specific -If there's nothing Romantic going on between the two of you He'll assume a kind of older brother Role

Sniper: -It's going to take Awhile for him to Start talking to you Outside of Any Profesional Setting -The first time You show trust in him (telling him a secret, falling asleep next to him, etc) His heart melts -Just hugging this man is Enough to get him to Cuddle up to you

Engie: -He probably feels Really awkward for a long time around you -This is Post-WW2 so Gay People weren't Exactly out -When you discover that He's in a Gay Polycule he Probably was thinking about Solving him Potentially being Outed with More Gun -When you Clarify that you're an Ally he relaxes A Lot -Eventually he Warms up to You and Romance Follows

#tf2 x reader #self insert #tf2 #polyam tf2

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lochnessies · 3 years

Text

ok here’s a dissection of a post an anon sent me the link to and bc i have the worst time management possible and i completely forgot i had it lol so sorry anon here you go ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

I am constantly thinking about how Edelgard just doesn’t seem designed to appeal to cishet men.

i hate to be the one to break this news to you op but just because a character doesn’t show skin like charlotte fire emblem doesn’t mean she isn’t designed to pander to men. she’s very much designed to pander to the (majority straight male) player base with her ‘uwu i only trust you professor omg did u see that rat? pls don’t look at my painting of you uwu’.

then there’s the whole edelgard c support in japanese where byleth makes reference to having come to her room for ‘yobi’ which is

there’s also the scene where byleth can make an unsolicited comment about edelgard’s breast size. which is… uhh… gross.

edelgard also has cipher cards that go from slightly fanserviceie to full on suggestive

and also her breast armor that my sister relentlessly mocked lol

and here’s a chart from the 3h subreddit about gender/sexually in regards to edelgard and edeleth. it’s extremely straight male. op might have just overlooked this since they probably don’t go on reddit and stay on tumblr (which unlike reddit is mostly female and has a high lgbt demographic).

Like the joke is that Bleagles is the Gay House, but everything about her feels deliberately non-hetero.

i don’t like where this is going…

She’s dressed in sharp outfits covering her upper body, with proportions that don’t seem exaggerated.

so women who cover up must be lgbt because straight women are naturally more revealing? oh y i k e s

Her poise and the way she effortlessly flourishes her axe exhibits an air of coolness. While titties out =/= character of no substance, Edelgard being dressed more modestly suggests that she wasn’t designed with male-centred fanservice in mind.

“titties don’t equal no substance but here’s my post on how she has more substance because she doesn’t show titties” ok

And she still looks absolutely stunning in her more modest attire (like seriously, I haven’t felt the need to return to cosplay in years but I want to do her academy look so bad).

yes she does. amazing design 10/10. i have a feeling this is the only part i’m going to agree with

Edelgard is intense. She does not mince her words and she is constantly evaluating you. Though she tries, she has a difficult time understanding her peers initially. Early on, she talks about how she would sacrifice herself and others in the name of some greater good. She is terrible at communicating with her peers. She has to be seen as infallible. Her heart has been hardened for years and she assumes she has to stay that way. She also assumes everyone mourns the same way she does - which is why she (kind of insensitively) insists you move on when Jeralt dies. Because to her, grief has to be channeled towards action, or else you’ll get lost in it. This attitude is demonstrated time and time again as she presses on. It can make her come off as cold and unfeeling - but look closer, and she’s anything but.

don’t really have anything to say at this part. it is pretty on the nose though i would slightly disagree with that last sentence a bit. i wouldn’t say she’s as i feeling as hubert is but all of her talks of the war boil down to how she feels and never her victims.

Her story is ultimately about her realizing that to achieve her goals, she needs to let people in and allow herself to want things like cakes and tea parties and lazy days in peace.

????? what ????? her goals include imperialism, ethnic and religious targeting. her story is about having a set of beliefs and mowing down anybody who stands in her way. that has nothing to do with tea, friends, and lazy days. also am i supposed to be sad that she has to get up everyday and work? i do that and i didn’t start a war and only throw a pity party for myself

The game leaves the player guessing as to how involved the Flame Emperor was in each Part I event, makes you feel hurt by her betrayal, and leaves you with a choice: do you follow the orders of the woman who tried to make you a god without your consent, or a young girl with questionable morals about to throw the world into upheaval?

this isn’t an ideal situation but i think i’m going to stick with the woman who tried to make me a god since i’m not selfish and i know it’s not only my desires and life at stake here. plus the green hair slaps ngl

Choosing her of your own volition (not for completionist reasons) requires the basic ability to sympathize with a woman’s pain. It also requires the player to read beyond her unwavering will and dubious methods to get a sense of how deep that pain goes and how the theme of humanity relates to her differently in each route.

i’m not going to touch this since @nilsh13 made a post on it that i’ll link here. i agree with everything he said so to repeat it would be redundant.

The player must be able to see a young woman’s desperate resolve to change the world so it stops exploiting people and ruining lives. They must be able to accept the fact that women can make the same morally wrong and ambivalent decisions that complicated male characters get to make all the time and still be the one to root for.

literally the same reason i love rhea lol her goddess experiments are dubious at best but her reasons are the same you mentioned. i would say that i like this quality in edelgard too if her ending, while bloody, actually ended in a good outcome for fodlan.

This is not unique to LGBT+ people, but this population is likely to understand why Edelgard feels so strongly about why she has to change the system.

i understand wanting to change a system, i really do. like edelgard, i’m an opinionated bisexual woman (who’s also physically disabled) so yeah i get it. and change can be good but it can also be terrible. even if the church was the boogeyman edelgard treats it as she still replaces it with her own shit regime. so it’s the same circus just with a new conductor.

I don’t think “Edelgard gets undue criticism because she’s a woman” captures the full picture. An important aspect of her treatment by certain parts of the fandom is that she’s a radical woman.

or maybe she does some pretty fucked up shit and it goes unacknowledged in her own route. and yeah she’s radical but in all the worst ways.

Her hatred of the Church and the Crest system resonates way harder with people who have been hurt by institutions that are deeply engrained in our society.

and what about people who have been hurt by systems where their ‘merit’ didn’t measure up and they were left behind? what about people from nations that experienced imperialism?

Siding with her means siding against the Church - which, while different from real world religious institutions, still invokes language about “sin” and “punishment.

yeah the ‘sins’ and ‘punishments’ are used in relation to attempted murders which i think everybody can agree is a bad thing that needs to be condemned.

Choosing Edelgard will likely hit different if homophobic and transphobic Christians used that rhetoric against you.

it has literally nothing to do with ‘sins’ and ‘punishments’ in regards to being gay or trans. that’s you projecting. especially since the church has 2 canon gay characters and two coded ones.

like i can understand why having a church condemn you can be uncomfortable but i’m begging you to please look at the context of what’s happening.

I’m willing to go out on a limb and say that the reason F/F Edeleth is the more popular iteration of that ship because most people who would choose to S-support Edelgard are LGBT+ themselves. This is not a revelation. To anyone in the community, it’s fairly obvious.

i was talking to nilish and he said

so yeah… while there is definitely sapphic femleth shippers out there, there’s still a whole lot of weird fetishizing going on from straight men about edelgard.

Crimson Flower was my first route. I went into the game knowing absolutely nothing. I played it during the last week of 2020 and hoo boy was it cathartic.

i can tell. this wasn’t supposed to be a dig but it came out that way and i’m not taking it out.

I felt like I was living out a gay revolution power fantasy, where I could truly change systems of oppression while fighting alongside a group of troubled students I’d shaped the lives of.

so a gay revolution power fantasy (cringe) goes hand in hand with imperialism and installing a dictatorship? also the war had nothing to do with sexuality.

Through your unwavering support, Edelgard learns that she needs to be human, that she must listen to her friends, and that she’s allowed to enjoy the world she’s creating.

edelgard gets to learn how to be human all while hunting those who don’t. and she doesn’t listen fo her friends. she doesn’t even trust them. she’s willing to talk to byleth but keep the people who’s been by her side for five years in the dark about everything. and yeah she gets to enjoy her new words since she’s on top. hate to be a commoner under her rule after she burned down my village in her war.

I love this character so much.

clearly. and i honestly don’t care if somebody likes her. i do as well even if my sometimes scathing words can make it seem otherwise.

It has been six months since I first played and I am still analyzing her,

me too. please help me escape i’m losing my mind

because there’s so much depth. Yet so many people fail to see that depth and dismiss her as evil,

i mean, she does some fucked up shit that goes beyond any of the less than desirable actions of the other main characters and does an extremely poor job in trying to make herself seem innocent. i personally don’t think she’s pure evil but i completely understand where the people who say she is are coming from.

because they never had the will to understand complicated women in the first place.

that’s big talk from somebody who implies that a gay pope is comparable to homophobic and transphobic irl religions and that leads an oppressive regime all because she uses the vague terms of sin and punishments that you have to gay power fantasy your way out of

#i finished this at 1am so sorry if i’m incoherent #mine

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nancylou444 · 3 years

Text

I tried to be nice

Replies to this post:

------------------------

Became this:

THEM: hi! thanks for the answers I really appreciate the discussion. normally if someone ships something I don’t like or something like that, I’ll just leave them alone but.. just to be clear I completely respect all of your opinions, even agree with some of them, even if we might disagree on the incest and Castiel haha. So I don’t mean any disrespect with this at all, please let me know if I’m out of line though!

But... I saw some things you said, and they come across to me in a way that I don’t think you intended? I feel really awkward sending this haha, you’re very nice and I don’t think you said anything on purpose, but I just.. wanted to let you know that some of the things regarding your opinion on certain characters come across not very well? I don’t think it’s intentional or anything, and I don’t mean to call you out at all which is why I didn’t want to point it out in the replies y’know?

Don’t get me wrong though, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with not liking castiel or destiel. I’ve been watching the show for a while with my dad, and he isn’t a huge fan either, I don’t think that’s a problem :)

I’d continue without waiting for a response but I don’t want to say something you’ve already been told, or continue without knowing if I’ve said something out of line already 😅

ME: I'm kind of distracted dealing with my Mom's rehab center. But you can keep going.

THEM: Alright! I’ve tried rephrasing this a million times but I don’t know how to make it seem not antagonistic. I promise I don’t mean that you’re doing it intentionally, it’s just, uh a lot of your criticism of spn feels like it could be read as homophobic? Again I don’t think YOU are I just wanted you to know it kind of reads that way!

That sounded so confrontational. I really don’t mean it that way 😭

ME: HOMOPHOBIC? Really? A lot of the 'proof' your fellow shippers use border on stereotypes but you think I'M homophobic? Considering my top two ships are Wincest and Malec. Yeah, sounds confrontational.

THEM: I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. I guess there’s no other way to say it, but I understand why you feel accused. What do you mean by proof..?

Also I don’t really think having gay ships means you can’t be homophobic. *I* used to be homophobic years ago, and I’m a gay person!

ME: How old are you? https://nancylou444.tumblr.com/post/154098904136/a-guide-to-dean-winchesters-imaginary-bisexuality

THEM: yeah this is starting to get frustrating. I’m gonna be real with you, why does it matter if people think dean is bisexual? like, bottom line, that is my question for you

and your answer will determine if your veracity is homophobic. why does it matter that some people think dean is bisexual. not the fans or actors or writers or anything. why does it matter that some viewers will watch, and they will think dean is bisexual?

ME: My problem isn't that some people think he is bi IN FANON, my problem is that they want CONFIRMATION OF A FANON SHIP. And that some people DENY how the show ended. These same people think that fake weddings are more canon than the FINAL EPISODE.

THEM: I get what you mean, but how is it a fanon ship when it’s confirmed romantic from one side, and interpretable as mutually reciprocated in Latin America? (I’m going to disregard the bit about the wedding, because I’m a firm believer in Neil Gaiman variety death of the author. Also that’s just people having fun with fanon, who cares?)

ME: Confirmed romantic?By whom MISHA, who wanted to sell necklaces? Have you never said 'i love you' to a FRIEND or FAMILY member? The dub is not canon, so don't even try using that as proof. Death of the author is just another way of saying MY VIEW OF THE SHOW IS SUPERIOR TO HOW THE CREATOR WANTS TO SEE IT. Jensen has said many times that the ship isn't canon and that Dean is straight. But it's better to believe what Misha says because he agrees with you. You think somebody is bi because of how they sit or the color clothes they wear? That would make YOU homophobe.

THEM: LOL You know what? I change my answer. I looked through your blog and you ACTIVELY and viscously hate Cas, Charlie, Claire, Kaia and the implication that Jack may not be straight. You’ve said Cas coming out as gay and in love with dean makes the rest of his actions predatory, compared him to a teenage girl, called him creepy, and openly rejoiced in your idea that dean looked ‘disgusted with him’. You said that Claire is awful, that Kaia is a wooden plank, that they ‘shoved them together’ for ‘woke points’ and said that Jody saying Claire was IN LOVE WITH Kaia ‘doesnt count’ and called it ‘lip service’. And it doesn’t end there! After all this, you said that you preferred the old better s4 Claire. Is it because she was ostensibly straight? Are you uncomfortable with queer women? And then you have the audacity to use these characters (Claire and Kaia and Charlie) as reasons to epicly own the Hellers and claim they already have represention. You are a completely disingenuous bitch and I don’t care to be nice to you anymore! I don’t feel AT ALL charitable toward you anymore, and I don’t care if you have gay ships. Gay people aren’t here for you to fetishize! You CONSTANTLY mock and ridicule jokes made by queer people regarding deans bisexuality or Cas being gay or any number of things. You constantly reaffirm that Dean is straight and call people who think otherwise delusional and disgusting, while you think dean is in romantic sexual love with his male sibling. You are openly hostile to the idea of non-binary jack and were pissed that Alcal endorsed that. You devalue Jack’s value and relationship to Cas who is, textually, his father figure. I have NO reason not to think that you are homophobic. I don’t care anymore! You’re a huge bitch and, judging by your prior responses and posts, a genuine dialogue regarding queerness in spn is impossible. You regard any instance of canonically queer moments ‘lip service’ and so regard it. You actively hate every canonically gay character and degrade them using traditionally homophobic tropes and stereotypes.

Feel free to explain how you aren’t homophobic. I’m so sorry if I got the wrong impression.

ME: Wow I see your true colors have come out HELLER.

THEM: Idc if you think I’m mean. Go ahead and make a post about me lol, have fun with it. Give me a moment to respond to your paragraph it’s... a lot to dissect.

I’ll touch on your comments about the dub and the Spanish language in a moment. First though

I ’m gonna be real with you, I don’t think you know what death of the author is. Neil Gaiman’s variety of the dead author principal is that once canon ends, the story belongs to those that consume and engage with it. That’s... also literally the theme of supernaturals final season. Anyway I really recommend you read up on death of the author and Neil Gaiman’s takes on fanon. It’s a fun way to consume your media, and in the end that’s what I’m here for.

I don’t care what Misha says, and I don’t care what Jensen says! I think they are both queer because I have eyes and watched the show. I think it’s a lovely narrative that is supported by canon, and it’s fine if you disagree with that

On your last sentence there... lol. It’s a common joke in queer circles that gays can’t sit properly, specifically bisexuals. Same thing with the clothing, it’s a SUPER common joke for example that lesbians wear flannel. Maybe you need to go outside and talk to some normal, non-incest shipping queer people. But what do I know!

And finally... ‘the Spanish dub isnt canon’

I am literally cuban. My first language is SPANISH. my entire household speaks Spanish, and my family past 1st cousins don’t speak any English. My Boricua cousins have watched supernatural in full for years, and they watch it in Spanish. Do you think America is the center of the universe? Do you think our media is somehow less than yours, that our interpretations of English language media isn’t valid? What, do you think we are idiots who don’t know how to analyze literature and media? Do you think the people who work at Telemundo, people employed as dubbers and translators, you think they do a worse job than the American crew?

Why, because they aren’t American or don’t speak English? ‘Te amo’ said to a non family member is, in 99% of any instance, ROMANTIC. it’s something you say to your spouse in serious situations like weddings!! Even MARRIED people don’t normally say te amo, everyone uses te quiero unless it is very serious or romantic in context.

All of my family who are Spanish language, they heard dean say ‘y a yo ti, cas’ and think that they were in romantic love. Sorry dude! The United States might be the center of your universe, but Latin America is HUGE. Spanish is one of the most spoken languages in the WORLD. In fact, more people speak Spanish than English. Sorry that you seem to hate gay characters SO MUCH you have to say an entire language somehow isn’t valid to consume media in!

ME:

Obviously this heller is batshit crazy.

Some of those things she thinks I said just show she has no idea how to follow a tumblr thread.

You are a completely disingenuous bitch and I don’t care to be nice to you anymore! I don’t feel AT ALL charitable toward you anymore, and I don’t care if you have gay ships. Gay people aren’t here for you to fetishize! You CONSTANTLY mock and ridicule jokes made by queer people regarding deans bisexuality or Cas being gay or any number of things. You constantly reaffirm that Dean is straight and call people who think otherwise delusional and disgusting, while you think dean is in romantic sexual love with his male sibling.

Wow.

I have NO reason not to think that you are homophobic. I don’t care anymore! You’re a huge bitch and, judging by your prior responses and posts, a genuine dialogue regarding queerness in spn is impossible. You regard any instance of canonically queer moments ‘lip service’ and so regard it. You actively hate every canonically gay character and degrade them using traditionally homophobic tropes and stereotypes.

Where have I hated canon gay characters and degraded them using tropes and stereotypes? The bitch has me confused with HER FELLOW SHIPPERS.

Gotta love how she is defending the Spanish dub. Hit a nerve did I?

It’s a common joke in queer circles that gays can’t sit properly, specifically bisexuals. Same thing with the clothing, it’s a SUPER common joke for example that lesbians wear flannel. Maybe you need to go outside and talk to some normal, non-incest shipping queer people.

Now who is using stereotypes?

#destiehellers #batshit crazy #your headcanon doesn't mean shit dean is straight #dub doesn't make it canon

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enbeemagical · 3 years

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*singsong* aaaand the moment you've all been waiting for *drumroll* The Snake and the Star chapter 14 teasers!!

Aaravos is pretttttyyyyy ticked at Viren actually

...aaaand at Kasef, because Kasef is something of an idiot

Awww Loki 🥺

yeah you know what, that was smart

oh c'mon, Sparkles, did you have to use Ventus Spiralis on Violin /hj

Aaravos...does not like Viren much SORRY VIRAVOS SHIPPERS

Ooo but Loki found a thing

and magic is PRETTY

Well somebody’s having a hard time being patient

Oh, good Sparkles! Very good promise-keeping

small ow

Unfortunately they’re not

Aaravos, you are entirely too clever sometimes, you know that?

that is another small ow

CLEVER Loki!

sidenote: I am lowkey scared of what Hope would do with Loki’s magic

no but look Sparkles, no one thought anyone’d be attacking her! sheesh

Wonderful /extreme sarcasm

Because we all enjoy rogue volkswagens /s

Viren. Darling. Please listen to the sparkly murder elf. If you do not, you will soon have a stabby shapeshifter explaining why you should have. With a small side of death.

yeah, food helps

Betcha you never thought you’d see a fic with Aary on this side of that scene

be nicer to smol stab elf >:(

Aww, Loki do be concerned for Sparkles 🥺

he’s right tho

ohhhhhkay here we go

Introspective Aaravos, very cool beans

turns out he lowkey ships Rayllum. Who knew?

‘m sad now

gah, FEELINGS

hhhhh MORE FEELINGS

iconic scene, but

Did anyone anticipate a 5,000 year old master of seven kinds of magic to be at all envious of an almost-15-year-old who knows like three spells? anyone???

FEELINGS

ohhhh I want to hug Loki so much ohhhhhhhhh

is so SWEET

Enter: angry Claudia

HHHHH LOKIIIIIIIII 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Sparkles: head empty only Loki

aaaaaw Claudia need help tho

yes do what Loki said

hug ^_^

this hurt to write

yes but HUG LOKI MORE

--so yeah this is one of my ideas for how the caterpillar spell works, because Aaravos leaving his body behind is like....kinda creepy??

Loki is so SWEET heart go 💔 so much with him

plans already?

YES REALIZE THAT

huh, how about that, writers fate is evil

We do love us some impossible choices ^_^ ^_^

nO LOKI DONT--

aaand my brain is now going “You try my patience. Make. Your. Choice.” why must it do this to me

GOOD CHOICE

Lokiiiiiiiii

very good, keeping your intention firmly in mind, turns out magic responds well to that

“uniquely Loki” Hope have I mentioned how much I love that? It just. It feels very nice

NO--

smart elf

(for once)

New name!

IT TALK HALP

IT SMART TOO O.O

Have I mentioned that I am lowkey scared of Hope’s brain + Loki’s magic??? please never turn your mind against me

aw :)

Loki: coming off of weird magic high. Aaravos: confuse but very very happy.

Your Honor, I LOVE THEM

Aaravos: no freedom only Loki. Loki: *yeets freedom* Aaravos: 🥺🥺🥺

If anyone was wondering why I firmly believe Aaravos talks in my brain, it’s because I can’t do ideas like this on my own.

hhhhhh I choke up reading this bit

where did all the serotonin come from i’ma be grinning like an idiot for a couple days hhhh

@alls-fair-in-pride-and-prejudice @siriuslyremus @plumblueflower @mossypebbles @shiniestcrow @friedrich-the-gay @olivenight17 @they-say-im-trouble @mxmonster @arcadialedger @perlelas @iabandonedmybois @disasterinpink @13-secret-poems @bifrostedgalaxy @worstloki @goddess-of-fandoms97 @dupstep-branch @queerblackcloud THEY BE CUTE

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delusion-of-negation · 3 years

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top 10 (ish) ridiculous or annoying FAQs:

(click at your own discretion)

1) "kids today rely on others to do everything"

ah yes, damn those participation trophies! if it wasn't for them my hands wouldn't be fucked, and I wouldn't need people to write for me. but seriously, stop reading boomer comics, and go outside to meet some actual young people.

2) "sus that a non-american says mom"

yeah, because it's clearly the superior version, and I'm not too patriotic to concede a defeat.

3) "sweaty, the victims of abuse by catholics are real people, stop appropriating their pain just because you want to hate catholics; plus teachers abuse people just as often anyway"

so firstly, I don't hate anybody. and secondly, regarding the fact that victims really do exist, [insert "of course I know him, he's me" meme here]; although I don't often talk much about the abuse I went through or what my religious beliefs are. but, more importantly, statements like "survivors are people" can be phrased like "some people are survivors", and when you're unable to act according to the latter (like when you don't even consider that somebody might be one) then you display a failure to recognise the former - you're projecting; a survivor can't be appropriating their own pain, but you can be appropriating it to silence one. and thirdly, teachers do abuse - the problem isn't and has never been purely religion, rather that abuse is often done by somebody in a position of trust, power, and familiarity; and that the lack of a global minimum enables totally legal abuse on top of the illegal stuff. people with access and respect have more opportunity to abuse than those without, and that goes for teachers too. but, once again, you can be appropriating the pain of survivors to deflect and silence people. please remember this before you say that shit.

4) "get help/therapy"

way ahead of you - years ahead of you. but it's not magic - people who say this often act as if you'll start behaving differently overnight. not only are some things simply beyond the ability of talking therapy to completely rectify, it also takes time and has to be selective. you've got to pick your priorities, and that's definitely not whatever ship or joke you're mad at me about today. therapy is a slow, arduous process that can't guarantee results - it isn't "anti-recovery" to recognise that, it's honesty. while I've been in therapy for a long time, it is not necessarily going to change whatever you don't like about me - whether that's because it can't, because my focus now is on more important or urgent things, or because I don't want to change that.

5a) "tell your family you ship incest, see how that goes; normal people find it disgusting"

actually, some know, and they're fine with it. in fact, one prefers sibling pairings in fiction to all other dynamics because, to paraphrase, "it's a deeper level of messed up co-dependence". so unfortunately for you, my remaining family (by which I mean those not dead or cut out of my life after abuse and so forth) actually are able to distinguish between fiction and reality. plus, my reasoning for caring if they find it gross or not pertains only to recommending books and such - their opinions do not dictate my tastes.

5b) "don't sexualise/appropriate incestuous abuse" and "I bet you enjoyed being raped" and other attempts to upset me over 5a

firstly, as I've already said here, survivors can't be appropriating ourselves. in addition, you're not owed people's history or trauma - it's not okay to require people's personal information, or else you'll send anon hate and accusations of appropriation. secondly, I'm not sexualising our abuse (not just because I write horror, and so a lot of my writing is intended to be creepy, not sexy); these stories aren't about us, they're not us at all. entire dynamics/people (fictional or otherwise) aren't all going to be applicable to us or identical to us, just because they have something in common with us; they're not us and they're not accountable to us. thirdly, the fact that people send this stuff (attempting to trigger people's trauma over ships) is so much more worrying to me than somebody making our communal imaginary friends kiss. you're trying to hurt people. and finally, to the "I bet you enjoyed it" crowd (if you're at all serious): do you think you'd enjoy being in a real zombie apocalypse, alone, afraid, and really at risk of being eaten alive? a fictional scenario does not feel remotely the same as a real one. this isn't rocket science - things that look like you aren't you; fiction isn't reality; don't send anon hate. (edit: comparable "just leave me alone, I'm not hurting anyone" sentiments for yandere stuff, and anything else you decide I'm naughty for.)

6) "you'll be sent off to do manual labour once your communist revolution happens"

while I don't know why people think that I'm a communist, a dictatorial regime probably isn't going to want me to do manual labour. they're more likely to just shoot me; I'm useless and a liability. call me crazy, but something tells me that "ah yes, we shall give ze deranged cripple ze power tools" isn't the communist position.

7a) "they/them can't be singular pronouns"

yes they can, and they're used as such in both shakespeare and the bible. but you don't have to say this - I'm also okay with he/him, so you could've just used those and chilled out. also, do I look like somebody who views the rules of grammar as fully immutable and imperative?

7b) "enbies/aros/pan/etc aren't valid"

do you really think that you're going to change any hearts or minds by putting that in my ask box or under my funny maymays? chill out, it's not worth the effort - you could be planning a party (in minecraft) and having fun instead. it isn't worth my time to rant at everybody who's saying something isn't valid, updating how I'm explaining it as my opinions grow and general discourse around it evolves; I'm just who I am, somebody else is who they are - why bicker in presumptuous ways about if that's enough? it ultimately is valid, in my opinion, but that isn't an invitation to keep demanding that I debate. (edit: old posts of mine probably don't phrase things incredibly, on this or anything... I tried.)

8) "what are your politics?"

my politics are informed first and foremost by the knowledge that I'm not cut out to be some kind of leader - I don't want to be the guy who tells everyone else what to do, I just offer what seem to me like valid criticisms of how we are doing things now, and general pointers on the values and ethics that I would prefer to move towards. things like individual freedom, taking the most pacifist route where possible, trying not to give excessive power to small groups of people (governments or corporations), helping those in need even when they're not palatable, and letting me suck loads of dicks. but please refrain from decreeing me something - there's not enough information in what I said, so you'll just be filling in the blanks with assumptions. (edit: workplace democracy seems cool to me; benefits are good; fair fines and taxes; and the "sperm makes you loopy" saga: 1, 2, 3, and 4.)

9) "you're a narcissist"

no, I don't meet the diagnostic criteria. joking on the internet that you're hot doesn't make a person a narcissist. the fact that I've chosen to keep my actual self-esteem issues to myself is not proof that they don't exist - you're just not entitled to that information about me. but it's also not narcissism to really like how you look. (edit: don't throw labels around carelessly too.)

10a) "kin list?"

the fabric of the universe, a zombie, dionysus, maned wolf/arctic fox hybrid, a comedian, big gay, big rock, ambiguously partial insincerity. (edit: kin list may or may not be incomplete.)

10b) "kin isn't valid/that's just being insane"

haven't we established that I'm deranged, and that sending stuff like this on anon is simply a waste of your precious time? besides, I do not care if it's invalid or insane - it's fun, I'm happy. (edit: see 7b for my opinion on sending me yet another ask with "that's invalid" in it; I'm not in the mood to discuss the nature of validity.)

bonus: "it gets better" and "trigger list?"

as I've said before, things just don't always get better for everyone - sometimes things can't be cured or even treated, sometimes they kill you; in some cases it could get better if not for a blockade or lack of time. the world is messy. it needs to be more normalised to reassure or comfort people without relying on saying that their issue will get better or be cured. it does suck to be this ill, but it also sucks to be made out to be a lazy pessimist, just because I have the audacity to not play along. and as for the trigger list, I don't like providing people with an easily accessed list of ways to hurt my feelings or harm me - upsetting me is supposed to be challenging, and thus rewarding. if you want a cheat sheet then you're out of luck, I'm afraid.

bonus #2: "FAQ stands for frequently asked questions, it doesn't need that s at the end!"

yeah, I know, I just enjoy chaos and disarray.

bonus #3 (edit): "what are your disabilities and how exactly are they incurable and/or deadly?"

again, I don't tell the internet everything about me, especially when it poses a risk, especially not as an easily accessible list for you to refer back to whenever you feel inclined to hurt my feelings. that is understandably a sore subject. (edit: that includes physical health issues btw.)

bonus #4 (edit): "so we shouldn't be critical?"

if it wasn't clear from my answer about politics or my post in general, you can have opinions about things, and you can voice that. it's just not realistic to exist at extremes: to think that you alone should dictate what exists in fiction, or to think that people shouldn't be expressing disdain or criticism of any calibur. say how you feel about things, that's fine, but it's also fine if people find that they don't value your input. plus we're all flawed, we can all be hypocritical from time to time, we all get bitchy, and we all make mistakes, or even knowingly fuck things up. that's important to keep in mind, whether we're talking about the one being criticised or the one doing the criticising - poor choices of words, imperfect tone, or contradictory ideas are inevitably going to happen occasionally.

congrats on reaching the end! if you have, at any point, said one of these to me, you owe a hug to your nearest loved one (once it's safe).

edit: might add more links/bonus points in the future when I think of things, but it's late now. (sorry for links where prior notes in the thread have my old url, that may get a tad confusing; also, not all links are my blog or my op, since it is to illustrate points/vibes, not to self-promo.)

#don't take life too seriously #nobody gets out alive anyway #tw abuse mention #tw csa mention #tw incest mention #tw for any tws I missed #idk why I did this

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nightswithkookmin · 3 years

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Memories 2019 was jikook fest. I think memories 2020(if we even get one due to covid) will be very tk focused, because they’ve been spending a lot of time together since September, growing close again after their friendship started to grow distance. Idk, I just feel like Jungkook is focusing a lot on Tae recently compared to Jimin, this isn’t me over reacting, there’s so much tk content than usual. Run 116 for example, anyone with eyes can see jikook was off. LGO comeback vlive. Grammys reaction

Uhmmm....

I get these kinds of questions a lot, and often when I do, I find I usually do not know how to go about answering it...

These concerns you raise are shipper problems lol and honestly I'm not that kind of shipper? Lmho. I'm more into alt shipping which means I place more value on the quality of Jikook's interactions, as little as those moments may be, than who BigHit decides on as their star ship for a season.

And often when I get into another ship, it's mostly because I am interested in how that ship affects the dynamics of Jikook.

I am curious to know what BigHit does with memories 2020 as well. Mostly because I believe they dumped all their Jikook 'intimate' moments on us in memories 2019 to try and neutralize the alleged brewing scandal revolving around Jikook since Rosebowl and the me too movement that hit the Kpop industry which set of this whole chain reaction with the impromptu vacation and the subsequent Jikook -involved with girls scandal' -allegedly. Bighit don't sue me please. Lol.

But ever since those moments happened, I had a feeling BigHit was moving to normalize Jikook's intimacy to throw sniffers off Jikook's metaphorical queer butts while simultaneously putting a leash around their necks in order to control and prevent any future such occurrence where Jikook's secret could be outed resulting in a potential scandal.

It is why I said I felt BigHit had been moving to mangae Jikook, presenting them as more of a brand than a ship within BTS.

I don't think they would want to go out of their way to specifically highlight Tae kook in memories 2020 simply because they are not trying to cover up any Tae Kook secrets or to normalize Tae kook's intimacy- because Tae kook isn't real. If we see more of Taekook or any other ship in memories it would be because they gave BigHit moments- memorable moments, which is what Memories is about no?

The objective of memories is to showcase moments that BigHit feels is iconic, memorable, beautiful and a reflection of the bond between BTS. That's what memories is.

And the fact they kept highlighting Jikook in Rosebowl should tell you the kinds of moments they consider iconic- JK nibbling Jimin"s ear believe it or not is super Iconic.

I keep saying BigHit bangs on the intimacy of the boys. Which means very often they are where the intimacy is. If Jikook is giving them beautiful iconic moments they can cash they will serve us Jikook. If Taekook, VMin, Sope, or Namjin does that too they will serve us them- it's business nothing personal really.

So it's not a question of whether they are showcasing Taekook over Jikook or Jikook over any other ship.

BigHit values the quality of the interactions between these boys which is why they invest so much in it and go through so much trouble to produce content like Soop or Rookie king which focuses on healing and repairing the boys' bond from time to time.

I mean have you seen Tiny Tan or BT21? Have you seen the level of animated love and connection they generate between these fictional versions of the boys? That's the level of love and closeness they want from the boys in real time for their own marketing agenda.

Jikook is often their go to because their intimacy and bond is not contrived or convoluted or riddled with high tensions and Jikook themselves are more than happy to perform and display their bond and give us iconic moments for the cameras. But where Jikook for whatever reason cannot give them those moments they would look to other pairs for it. I think I have talked extensively about BigHit and BTS ships already. Kindly check that out for a better understanding of my point of view on this topic.

And you are right about Tae and Kook spending a lot of time together this year- but how does that affect the quality of Jikook's relationship? I think I would be more interested in discussing that than worrying about a DVD slated for a near future where I might not even be alive to witness lol- chilee this Corona Virus has me moving scared lately. Pray for me, my moma and my cat. Lol

Listen, Jikook is real in spite of all of these things you mention honestly. Jungkook and Jimin are having bomb sex and doing the gay whether BigHit highlights another ship over them or not, whether come December JK wishes Jin or Tae a happy birthday, whether JK kisses another member's calf or sits on Tae's laps and bounce up and down, and whether Jimin throws himself at RM or not.

I really do not have a problem with the way they both choose to interact with the other members within the group. I just observe those interactions and allow it to inform me on their individual personalities, their state of mind, their emotional maturity levels, whether or not they are growing as individuals, whether or not they are both expressing themselves the way they want to within their dynamic etc. It's their love journey not my fantasy. I support them, I don't ship them.

And I gotta ask, what is it to you if BigHit highlights Taekook in the next DVD? Would that hurt you? Taekook are a part of BTS too and talents within the agency that BigHit have a moral and legal obligation to promote and market just as they promote and market Jikook you know?

It's their shippers isn't it? Fucking psychopaths! Lol. I feel you. I'm not a fan of shippers in general. I think you have to try and move past their annoying, braggadocious, anti Jimin, anti JK, anti Tae, toxic shopping tendencies shopping men for their biases, stealing other ships dynamics and superimposing the faces of their bias onto Jimin or JK' moments- Tae and JK deserve better supporters. Hashtag free Taekook. Lol.

I think you should try to understand Tae kook's dynamics for what it is because believe me Tae Kook give better insight into Jikook in the Vminkook's dynamics.

As for the Run episode, I think I have already put up an analysis of it in a recent post? Chilee. I am waiting for the behind the scenes of episode 117 because I think I spotted a bit of Jeonlous there when Suga and JM were wilin there for a second.

These two episodes were shot sometime during the On era when Jikook were not together together as I've been saying since the onset of my blogs. These episodes are not proof that something is wrong with Jikook now. They just show that something was wrong with Jikook then...

Whatever happened with them in the On era, they moved past it and got back together- like they always do. They always do. They are whipped on God I swear! Lmho. I want to talk about them in this era- yea yea I know I already put up a blog on that but it focused on their MV and roles in the music video and I want to talk about their relationship dynamics 😥

Somebody ask me about that!😭

And it's funny you say with episode 116, 'everyone with eyes could see there was something off between them...' my question is why didn't y'all see that in February when it happened??

You don't need loud moments like these to finally notice when the ship you support is having issues honestly. Chileee. You is 10 months late I think. They moved on, we moved on. This is a new Jikook era baby and Jikook are back with their shenanigans. Lol

This dismissiveness, bigotry, skepticism, treating a ship as a fantasy and not as individuals and the human that they are is how Taekookers and every ship in BTS think their ship is real lol. They will ignore and dismiss all the questionable moments that happen between Tae and Kook and run with the few seconds of skinship they see Taekook do- it doesn't work like that you know? But I guess these are shipper problems and I can't relate.

Oh and when you say there is so much Taekook content than usual..... I want to talk more about this too👀

I want to talk about VMinkook's dynamics next- in a separate blog perhaps? But y'all keep asking me about Minimoni and Yoonmin😒

Should I?

Signed,

GOLDY

#jikook #kookmin #jikook analysis #kookmin analysis #jikook scenarios #jikooktheories #kookmintheories #goldy #goldy blogs #goldy analysis #goldy theory #ask response #ask goldy #goldy response #nightswithkookmin #alt shipping #alternative shipping

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blake-belladonna-defence-force · 4 years

Text

The Owl House, Ep16

Well, Amity definitely has softened up, hasn’t she? It’s nice to see... what would be even nicer is if we got to see what’s on that lil pink note. She seemed rather panicky... what are the bets that it’s a love letter to Luz? She’s been getting real blushy and flustered as of late so I wouldn’t be surprised.

Okay... yeah. Sure. Let a giant ass monster live under your school and have a student fight it while your other students party. GREAT IDEA! Especially when said monster is basically Penny-fucking-wise!

Damn, Eda looking sharp in a suit, huh? We stan those GNC vibes, y’all.

“I’m a bad boy.” Nice. Very nice, Luz. Fuck gender norms.

Luz: knocks Amity into the gunky mud before helping her up.

Also Luz: sits down in the mud to be a supportive darling.

Oh Luz. She just wants to be Amity’s knight in shining armour so badly. It’s very sweet.

Aw. Baby’s having mama issues. I feel bad for her- Hooty! Luz is having a moment! Cod you please knock!

“If that bird tube talks to me again, I will destroy it.” Amity is a mood.

Oh... Amity wasn’t joking. She’s actually going to kill Hooty as Luz panics in the background.

“What’s the point of watching a kid get eaten if it’s MY kid.” Eda. Your mum mode is showing.

Can I just say how much I love how casual this show is about gay couples and crushes? Amity crushing on Luz? Normal. Luz crushing on all the Blight siblings? Normal. The two background gays dancing together all cute and shy and nervous? Normal. We need more media like this!

“Mama’s fun night out.” *snort* Eda has completely and utterly adopted this kid at this point. This is HER kid and I don’t think you can tell her differently 😂

*squealing* look at these babies! Look. At. These. Babies! They’re so adorable!

Pfft. “You’re not coming from a place of intellectual honesty so debating you would be pointless.” The kid ain’t wrong 😂

LUZ’S BIGGEST FEAR IS HER MUM! Oh ye Gods. That hurts. That really hurts!

“Stay away from her!” If I had a dollar for every time a teenager ran in to save their potential love interest from their worst nightmare, putting themselves in harms way in the process... I’d have exactly two dollars. But it’s still weird that it’s happened twice!

Oh. Oh, Amity, honey, no! The pain on her face just broke my heart! This poor baby was so scared of... was that... Luz? The hairstyle kind of looked like Luz’s but I can be certain. Also... Luz? I KNOW you did not just friendzone yourself! With a forced lil smile too! Gah! These kids! Such baby disasters!

Yooo! They did! The creators really had these two queer teenager girls dance together in a way that was very romantically charged! To fight a monster together! On mother fucking Disney?! This is huge!

“Who did you wanna ask out?” “It’s not important.” *note says Luz* *cue excited Defence squeals* and they went even further! They didn’t leave it up for interpretation! There’s no maybes! Amity Blight has a crush on Luz! This is huge, my dude! I’m so happy right now!

Oh hey. Another brooding sit by the window moment. That’s really gonna be trend now, huh? I mean... it’s a good trend so why not?

Aw. Typical mum moment. Calling texts “letters.” That’s adorable.

IT WASN’T A MUM MOMENT. SOMEBODY IS SENDING LETTERS TO LUZ’S MOTHER! But they didn’t seem to know how to spell her name. What the fuck is going on?

Aww... I love how Luz drags her important people into the photo and just full on pulls Amity into a tight hug as she just stares, all blushy and flustered. That’s so cute!

Oh god. My queer lil heart is so full right now. Do you have any idea how much I wish I could have seen queer rep like this as kid? Not done as a joke or a flaw. Not done as some grand and dramatic reveal. Just normal and healthy and sweet and okay! Because that’s what it is! And it’s about damn time we started showing that to kids.

For people my age... we may have not gotten that rep. But today’s kids are and that makes me so happy for them. Bumbleby, Bubbline, Catradora and now... what’s Luz and Amity’s ship name? I’ve seen Lumity thrown about. But that’s awesome and I hope to see more kids shows just normalising this sort of thing.

I’m very happy.

#the owl house #the owl house spoilers

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mystewion · 3 years

Note

are gay people real

in short:

South Park Elementary School Cafeteria, day. The kids are seated for lunch. At the center table are Stan, Kyle, Kenny, Token, Clyde and Craig. Cartman runs in from the hallwayCartmanFELLAS! Fellas!StanWhat?CartmanYou'll never guess what happened. Butters just beat up Scott Malkinson!KyleButters? [He and Stan look puzzled] Why?CartmanIt was crazy! Scott was just talking about how he needed to take his insulin shot, and out of nowhere Butters said he's sick of people with diabetes feeling sorry for themselves. Scott told Butters to shut up and Butters just started whaling on him!StanYou're talking about Butters.CartmanDude, I'm telling you! Butters beat the crap out of Scott, and then he locked himself in the bathroom! [The other boys get concerned and leave their tables to go to the restroom]The restroom around the corner from the cafeteria. Jimmy has joined the boys. Stan bangs on the doorStanButters?ButtersLeave me alone!StanButters, come out here.ButtersGet out of here, all of ya! [Stan turns to the other boys and shrugs]KyleButters, people can't just go around beating up people who have diabetes! Now whatever your problem is, you just-Butters[Runs out of the restroom up to Kyle and points at him] You just think you know everything, don't you Kyle?! Every little thing you gotta shoot your mouth off like you're the frickin' expert! Well you don't know everything because [walks to Stan and points him out] your best friend is a kid who thinks the entire planet revolves around him and he only cares about HIS image! [runs back inside the boys room, then turns around and runs to Cartman] You guys think Cartman is the only selfish piece of crap in this school? You're all fake and stuck up [moves over to Jimmy], and none of you have the courage to tell Jimmy that his jokes aren't funny! [moves over to Kenny] The only kid here with any sense of dignity is Kenny, and the rest of you have your heads up your butts! [Runs back into the restroom and locks himself in. The other boys are stunned and silent]CartmanWell. Apparently Kenny is Butters' best friend. You guys gonna make out, Kenny? [Kenny flashes an angry look]Butters[Runs out of the restroom again and storms up to Cartman] And that's another thing! You're always trivializing everything I say by gettin' the last word! [Cartman looks stunned]Well you're not gettin' the last word this time! [Runs back into the boys restroom and locks himself in]Cartman...Wow.Butters[Opens the door and peeks out] Double wow! [Closes the door and locks it]The principal's office, Day. Principal Victoria is talking to Butters and his parents.Principal VictoriaI'm sorry, but your son is distracting the other students and his attitude is just getting worse.StephenButters, what on earth has gotten into you?!Butters[In a gruff voice] I don't know, Dad, ah I was just pissed off, I guess!LindaDo you think this behavior is fair to your teacher and classmates?!ButtersI don't suppose it is, but I don't give a darn!StephenDo you have any idea how grounded you are about to be, mister?!ButtersWhy don't you shut up, Dad, and stick it in your ear, for cryin' out loud! [Both parents look taken aback as a moment of silence follows]Linda[looks at Stephen] Stephen, are you thinking what I'm thinking?StephenYes. Our little Butters is flowering. He has reached the age of panua.Principal VictoriaEh-excuse me?StephenPrincipal Victoria, this isn't Butters' fault.ButtersIt's not?!StephenIt has to do with... biology. [turns right and walks off a bit] You've... maybe noticed that Butters isn't... exactly like other kids.ButtersYeah?StephenYou probably think Butters seems somehow... different.Butters[normal voice] Hey yeah, all the time.StephenIt's because he is. [Turns around and faces Principal Victoria] His mother and I... his whole family were... we're not of this place.Principal VictoriaAh I'm sorry, I really don't understand.StephenPlease, just try to understand that for our people it's a very private matter. He can't be helped by your discipline; this must be dealt with by his own kind. If it's all right with you, we'd like an extended leave for our boy. Please. It's a cultural thing.The Stotch house, day. Stephen and Linda argue as Butters sits on the couchLindaI don't want him to go, Stephen, he's too young!StephenIt's our people's way, Linda, you know that better than I do!LindaThen we can go with him.StephenYou know that's not allowed!ButtersWill somebody tell me what the frickity fookshmere is goin' on?!StephenButters, you've reached the age where you must journey to your birthplace for the ceremony of hapa noa.ButtersUhbu-but I'm from here.StephenNo. We moved here just before you started pre-school. You were born in our native land, Butters. [Walks to a bookshelf and grabs a scrapbook] A distant and very secluded island world called... Hava'i.ButtersWe're from Hawaii?Stephen[Sits on the sofa next to Butters. Linda sits to his left] Only haoles pronounce it Hawaii, Butters, but those of us from Hava'i are a very special people. We have many customs and traditions to keep our culture alive. [Opens the book and points some pictures out to him] We drink chi-chi's from the coconut. We eat poke that the Safeway provides. And when we've chosen a mate, we marry at the fern grotto, as your mother and I did so... very long ago. As a Stotch, Butters, you are actually Hawaiian royalty. Your grandma and grandpa were there at the time of the King. [Flips backwards a few pages and shows him a picture of Elvis Presley playing a ukulele with a picture of Diamondhead in the background.]ButtersBut what does being Hawaiian have to do with me acting like an emo chick on her period?StephenNot an emo chick on her period, Butters. Like a salmon needing to swim back upriver. All Hawaiians feel it. It is called "hapahui apahoha", and it means it's now your time to make your trip to our island home. You must do your walkabout to your homeland, Butters. And you must do it alone. [Linda stands up and starts crying. Stephen stands up and takes out his wallet] Take this, son. It is our Mahalo Rewards card. It will provide you with all you need. And now I must turn my back on you. [He turns his back to Butters. Linda weeps silently. Butters is speechless]The neighborhood park, day. The boys from the table are playing basketball, and Jimmy joins in. Kenny tosses the basketball at Kyle, who makes a shot, and Cartman runs up to them from the sidewalk. Stan catches the ballCartmanHoly shit balls! Holy shit balls! Guess what, you guys? Holy shit balls. [The other boys gather around him]KyleWhat?CartmanButters just got on a bus with his backpack and said he's going to Hawaii.StanHawaii?CartmanHe said he had to go back to his homeland, and then told me it was none of my business and to keep my fat mouth shut.KyleDude, what the hell? Somebody's gotta stop him.Stan[Turns to the basket] After all the things he said to us, he can go ahead. [Makes a shot at close range]KyleKenny, you're clearly his best friend. Go stop him.Kenny(I'm not his best friend.)CartmanYeah, Mr. Perfect, go rescue Butters so he can lick your balls some more. [Kenny sighs and walks away with his head down.]The airport, day. Kenny arrives and walks into the Alpha Air terminal. He sees Butters seated on a seat in an empty row, with two suitcases at his feet. He's sobbing. Kenny walks overKenny(Butters, come on.)ButtersThey won't let me on the plane. Why, I can't do anything right! [Kenny takes one suitcase and Butters' right hand, Butters takes the other suitcase, and they walk. Suddenly Butters stops and pulls his hand away] No, no! I have to go to Hawaii, Kenny! I have no idea what's waiting there for me, but I guh, I can't go on like this! [Kenny sighs, then takes Butters to the teller]Kenny(Excuse me, he needs to go to Hawaii.)TellerI already told him, I can't allow anyone on the aircraft who appears to be intoxicated.ButtersI'm not intoxicated, you skank! I'm just "deligerent" because of my hapanuanalua!Kenny(Please, could you just let him on the plane? It's really important. Please?)TellerTell you what: there's plenty of points on his Mahalo Rewards card. If you wanna fly with him, I can let him go.Kenny(Me?)ButtersCan't you see I'm in horrible pain?! Do you have any idea what-?!Kenny[Puts his hand over Butters mouth to shut him up] (Okay, okay! I'll go.) [Scene cuts to the plane flying towards Hawaii]Lihu'e Airport, Kaua'i, Runway B-5. The plane lands and Butters and Kenny enter the terminal. Butters has picked up his bagsButters[Slowly, as he looks around] Well, we're here, now what do I do? [Kenny points to the information officer nearby, and they walk to him]OfficerCan I help you with anything?ButtersUh yeah, I uh, I'm not sure where I'm supposed to go?OfficerOkay, were you with a cruise ship or land tour group?ButtersOh, ah, I'm not a tourist. I'm a native Hawaiian. [The officer just looks at him. A group of Americans approaches him]Blond ManButters Stotch?ButtersYeah?Blond ManWelcome home, young keiki. Your parents said you would be coming for your ceremony. [Notices Kenny] Ah- uh, who's this?ButtersOh thi-this is my friend, Kenny.Older WomanButters, native Hawaiians don't really approve of haoles coming to their ceremonies.ButtersOh please, i-if it weren't for him I couldn't have come.Blond ManVery well, we shall speak with the chief of our island and see. Come now. [Everyone leaves]En route to the chief, day. They go down the road, all packed into an SUV.ButtersYou folks are all native Hawaiians too?Older Man[Driving] Yes. My wife Patty and I have been coming to Kaua'i for almost five years, and Bill and Donna actually own a time share in Poipu.DonnaYes, but Poipu is getting pretty overrun with tourists, I'm afraid.Blond Man[Leans to the right, behind the older man] Let us eat.Older ManOh yea, let us eat. [They stop at Kuwahara Saimin's drive-through] Aloha, five order of saimin, please.ButtersWhat's "saimin"?PattyIt's one of the foods of our people.Older ManOh, I get 20% off, I'm a native. Here's my Mahalo Rewards card. [The cashier notes the card and takes the cash, the older man takes the food, and they're off.] Mahalo. [They soon find themselves behind a slow car with the passenger taking pictures of the scenery. The older man honks.] Come on, you frickin' tourist! Jesus, buy a post card! [Stops and points out a building] These are the ancient ruins of our ancestors. [It's the Coco Palms, long abandoned.] They say the spirit of the king is still in there.Blond ManYou must stay away from this place. It is kapu.Brunet ManKapu. that means "taboo", [points to Kenny] especially to haoles! [they drive off]Older ManUh that there is Bubba's Burgers. [Scene shows Bubba's Burgers] In Havai'i us natives say "Bubba's Bruk". [they pass by a big hotel] Here's the Sheraton, just another megahotel for the throngs of tourists. Here's where many of us natives live. The Sheraton Residences. [A gated community is shown. The Older Man flashes his Mahalo Rewards card to the guard] It's all right, we're natives. [The guard opens the gate and lets them in. They arrive at the chief's residence and step out to talk to him] Protector and Chief, I present to you the keiki, Butters Stotch.ChiefAh, Stephen and Linda's child. Last time I saw you, you were the size of a coconut. Who's the haole?Kenny's room at the Residences, night. He sits by the open window with a lit candle, a pencil and a sheet of paper. He begins to write.KennyMy dearest friends,:I am living amongst the natives in the remote and tiny island of Kava'i. What can I tell you of this mysterious island and its people? It is a place of wonder, and yet to the outsider like me, a place of odd tradition. The people here are peaceful and joyous, and seem to care little for the rush and worry of the outside world. Their diet is mostly an odd mixture of coconut milk, pineapple juice, and vodka, which they call the chi-chi. As for Butters, he is quickly learning the ways of his ancestors, and seems to be feeling better with every passing day. He still seems quite angry at times, but luckily his ceremony will finally take place on the morrow.As he writes, the following scenes are shown: First, the Safeway supermarket. The people greet each other with a fist, with pinky and thumb extended. Next, three kids are playing in a pool while Donna enjoys her chi-chi and the older couple sit on chaise longues in the background. Next, Kenny is at the bar order a chi-chi. Next, Butters learns how to play bocce ball. Next, Stan reads the letter to Cartman and KyleStan[reading the letter] "On the morrow"? What the fuck is wrong with Kenny?KennyTo wit, I have found nothing wrong with this remote place, and I must admit it will be with some melancholy that I will leave this island and return home.

I saw this chick in a bikini on the beach too. She had the nicest boobs ever. Humbly yours, Kenneth.

A luau, day. All the natives are in line for lunch before the ceremony begins. Butters stands on a platform before the chief while Kenny watches onChiefIn the time-honored traditions of our ancestors, we honor the native Hawaiian Butters Stotch with his hapa noa. [everyone cheers and and woman slips a necklace onto his neck] The shark-tooth necklace represents your connection to our island. [a horn blower comes in with a conch shell and blows into it... badly] Now drink the chi-chi! [Patty walks over with a glass of it and gives it to Butters, who begins to drink it through a straw.]Butters[turns right and coughs, then] Whoa, it's like gasoline!ChiefDrink, young keiki, and you will feel the last of your aggression melt away.Butters[Finishes the rest of the drink, then stumbles just a little bit and smiles] Hey, uh now I do feel butter, uh better.ChiefO spirits of ancestors, we ask that you bless this native Hawaiian with his hapa noa! We ask that you-Blond Man[runs in] Listen! [climbs onto a table] Listen everyone! I have terrible, horrible news!ChiefDo you realize that you are interrupting a hapa noa?Blond ManI've just come from the front office! The Mahalo Rewards card is... [chokes]ChiefWhat?! What has happened? Speak!Blond ManThe Mahalo Rewards card is being eliminated! They're trying to say our points are... are... no longer going to be accepted.Chief[Rises from his chair and walks to his left] I knew one day it would come to this.PattyTo what? What does this mean?ChiefThe haoles are trying to do away with us.Resident 1With no rewards program, there will be no distinction between who's a native to this island and who isn't!Resident 2Why can't you people respect our island? Why do you always want nore?!ChiefI'm sorry keiki, your hapa noa will have to wait! For we must unite together as never before! It is time to show the haoles that this is our island! [this draws cheers from everyone]A seaside golf course, day. A cruise ship is some distance from the shore when it blows its horn. A group of natives stand by their golf ballsChief[Yelling at the ship] Stop ruining our island, haoles! FIRE! [The natives fire away into the ocean. Some of the golf balls land in the water, some of them reach the ship]First MateWhat are they doing? [The passengers are being pelted with golf balls.]Chief[Walks over to Butters and gives him a club] Take a swing! Let them know they are not welcome!ButtersI've never done this before. [Gets into position]ChiefIt's all right. Just try to tap into that anger that's inside you.ButtersAim... my anger! Stupid [Swings successfully] Ben Affleck! [The golf ball sails through the air and enters the bridge, smashing through the window and the captain's binoculars. The first mate shrieks] Waaah! [The captain stumbles onto a controller and breaks it with sheer momentum. The ship begins to pitch back and sink. Passengers begin to tumble towards the water. Butters is dumbfounded. The ship breaks in two]ManHold on! [The golf club just falls out of Butters' left hand] Hold on!WomanOh I can't! I can't! I can't hold on!ManI love you! I love you!WomanNo! I love you! I love you back! [The ship vanishes below the water]Breaking NewsAnnouncerThis is breaking news!AnchorAn insurrection in the Hawaiian Islands has escalated to war! After sinking a cruise ship, the natives of Kauai continue to go berserk, forcing all tourists off their island.Man 1They just pushed us onto airplanes and said we weren't welcome anymore!Woman 1Then a little boy called me a skank.Anchor[A picture of Barack Obama appears over his shoulder] The President says he will send the Coast Guard to take the island back, though he sympathizes, being a native Hawaiian himself. [Thinks about it for a second] Hm.The ceremonial plaza, day.ChiefAre all the tourists gone from our island?Resident 3All but a few who are hiding out at Duke's Restaurant. We sent Bob and Trisha Turner to smoke them out.Resident 4What about him?Kenny(What about me?)Resident 4He's a tourist and he knows everything! We have to kill him!Butters[Jumps in front of Kenny to shield him] No! Kenny's my friend! He's the only kid at school I actually like, you buncha jerks!ChiefBe careful young keiki, your anger still controls you because we were not able to finish the ceremony. Perhaps we should finish it now.Resident 4Finish his ceremony?! We are at war, David! I have lived on this island for ten years. Ten years! Every July and part of August! And I can tell you all that what we are about to face from the haoles is nothing short of genocide!Resident 5He's right, David. We can't trust any tourists.ButtersHe won't betray us! Will you, Kenny?!Kenny(No, I'm not going to fucking betray anybody!)Resident 6Then let him prove himself! Trial by opahika'a!Chief DavidHe's only a child!Resident 4If he wants to be one of us, then he must face the challenge!Chief DavidVery well. [The horn blower, Resident 5, returns to blow the conch shell]On the bank of a river flowing by the Residences, day. David and Butters are there with the rest of the residents in the background, and Kenny is...Blond ManThis isn't right! He's not a native! He's gonna get killed!ButtersKenny, be careful!Chief DavidQuiet. He must face this challenge alone. [Kenny is on a surfboard on the river using a small paddle to get somewhere]Resident 1By the gods! Perhaps he has the heart of a native after all!Resident 4He still has yet to make the turn! [Kenny reaches a buoy in the middle of the river and paddles around it, then makes his way back to the riverbank.]ResidentsHohhh!Resident 7[A little tipsy from his drink] That's pretty good. [Kenny slows down, then loses his balance and falls into the river]Kenny(Whoops!)ButtersKenny!ResidentsAwwwww. [A second later they all turn away and leave. Butters stays at the riverbank.]Resident 4[To another Resident] I told you a haole couldn't do it!Chief DavidDid you make the turn your first try? Did any of us? [Kenny pops up behind them and floats down the river]Resident 8[A woman, walks up to Butters] Don't worry, Butters, your friend will find a way back to his kind. The gods will protect him. [She extends her left hand and guides him away]Kenny looks downriver and sees a waterfall. He panics and quickly dog paddles away from it, but the current overwhelms him and he goes over. He bumps into several rocks, each bigger than the last, on his way down, head firstSmith's Tropical Paradise, day. David has assembled the residents into this building and now talks to themChief DavidWe have called for this great meeting because if we are to survive this war, all the native Hawaiian tribes must join as one!Resident 9We're not joining the people of the Hyatt Grand Vacations! They have no rights to call themselves natives!Vacationer 1Oh and you do?! Your ancestors came on an airplane six months ago! Our ancestors sailed here! On a cruise ship! Nine months ago!Chief DavidLook, if we are to fight the haoles, we have to allow all natives to stay!CanyonerIt doesn't matter how many tribes we have, we can't win! We are but a few against the haole's military might! We may have passion, but passion does not win wars!Chief DavidOh no? Come up here, keiki. Come on. [Butters gets on stage with David] This child sunk a cruise ship by himself! Tell them keiki. [Hands the mic to Butters]ButtersWell I don't know about the rest of ya, but I'm sick and tired of bein' pushed around all the time! I came all the way down here for my hapa noa ceremony, and I can't even have it, 'cause the fucking haoles have to ruin everything!Resident 9Yeah!Vacationer 1Screw them!ButtersWell if you ask me, the only good haole is a dead haole! With a, with a stick up his butthole, and his wiener cut off! Rraahhhh!Chief DavidLet us make a pact with more chi-chis!Resident 10[goes to serve himself some more chi-chi from the barrels, but finds there isn't any] Um, we're... we're out of chi-chis.Resident 11Oh, right, we've closed off all the ports.Resident 12But they're still letting vodka through, right? Uh... they can't cut off our chi-chis.Chief David...Oh my God.Downriver, day. Kenny crawls onto the riverbank, coughs, and looks up. He's across the road from Coco Palms. He stands up and walks towards it. He looks around and heads in, but first waits for a bunch of bats to fly out of the cavernous entrance. Meanwhile, offshore, the U.S. Coast Guard shows up in force to deal with the nativesCaptainThis is the U.S. Coast Guard! We have instructions to take you by force, if necessary!Chief David[heading up a large group of natives] Ready? Fire! [the natives fire off their golf balls, but none of them have any effect on the Coast Guard]Captain[Lowers his binoculars, then flatly] Fire. [The ships' guns fire away and decimate many of the natives]Chief DavidArm the bocce balls! [Surviving natives arm bocce balls into slingshots stretched between palm trees. One of them lands on the main ship with a heavy thud]CaptainGod damn it.Chief DavidKeep fighting! Stand your ground!Resident 4We can't fight without chi-chis!Chief DavidYou can and you MUST!Butters[He has six golf balls in front of him and he hits each one towards the Coast Guard] Stupid! Greedy! Haoles! Kill! Them! All!Kenny walks through the Coco Palms, which is dark and spooky. A voice is soon heard, and Kenny stops in his tracks. He turns and runs away, but steps onto a patch covering a hole on the floor and falls in. He recovers and looks up to see the shining ghost of Elvis Presley. He beckons Kenny to follow him, mumbling just like Kenny does.The KingCome on, come on. [Mumbles a few more things as they walk towards a door. Elvis stops and pulls a lever, and a wall rises to reveal loads of absolute vodka, pineapple juice, coconut milk, and macadamia nut liqueur, all the ingredients needed for chi-chis. Elvis walks up to the doorway and motions to Kenny] You know what chi-chis are, right?The Residences, day, on the ceremonial plaza, Chief David admits defeatChief DavidListen everyone, we gave it all we had. It's over. We must go down to Nowiliwili Harbor, and surrender to the American government.Butters[Runs onto the plaza] Surrender?! No, the heck with that!Resident 4We can't hold out here any longer!ButtersWell I won't do it, you hear me?! I'm not licking anybody's... testes!Chief DavidYoung keiki, try to control your anger.ButtersNo! This is our home! And I'm sick of everyone who thinks they're better than me just 'cause they've got good looks, and just 'cause, even after massacring Daredevil, they happen to come back and hit a home run that everyone likes! You shouldn't be able to be good-looking and be with Jennifer Lopez and be a good director! [Turns around and walks away] All right all right fine! Argo is a good movie! There, I admitted it! I told people that it didn't hold up, but it holds up god darn it! Ben Affleck has everything, GRAGH!Resident 13Everyone! Look, I say! [Everyone comes to see, and it's Kenny coming back with a raft full of absolute vodka, pineapple juice, coconut milk, and macadamia nut liqueur. Everyone cheers him on]Resident 14The haole did it!KennyMy dear friends of the mainland,:What adventures I have found on the tiny island of Kava'i. I have truly become one with the natives, who found new courage to fight their oppressors.Chief DavidWe are not surrendering today! Go back and tell your leaders that we will fight them until the end! [Everyone cheers]CaptainYou people just don't give up, do ya?KennyThe American government finally gave in to the natives and had the Mahalo Rewards cards reinstated. Our two cultures, it appears, will once again live in peace.Everyone cheers, even the Coast Guard captainKennyWith the war at an end, our Butters is able to have his hapa noa ceremony. And with any help from the gods, become his old cheery self again.The hapa noa ceremony, day. Butters will finally become a full-fledged member of his tribeChief DavidAnd so it is with great honor that we recognize these two natives with their hapa noa. Take your cards, boys. [Two women come up and give them their cards] Apuiloa hapnanoaha! Hapa'a'a hohaaa! [Resident 5 returns to blow the conch shell a third time.] It's finally over, young keiki. Is your anger at rest?Butters[He thinks for a moment] Yeah, I guess so. Except it still doesn't change the fact that Ben Affleck gets to be handsome, talented, and then gets to go home and kiss Jennifer Lopez.Resident 15Ben Affleck isn't with Jennifer Lopez anymore, he's married to Jennifer Gardner.ResidentsYeah, it's true, uh huh.ButtersWhat? Really? But I thought I was totally jealous of him. He's just married to Jennifer Gardner? Oh my God, I feel so much better. [smiles with relief]Kenny(You do?)ButtersYeah, ogh, I like that Ben Affleck guy. He's a good filmmaker. Come on, Kenny, I guess I owe the kids at school an apology. [He and Kenny walk off into the sunset] Did you see Argo, Kenny? It's a pretty good movie. Ben Affleck has a lot goin' for him. Not everything, but a lot. Whoopie!

#long post

10 notes · View notes

cassthecringe · 3 years

Text

loving you may mean losing you but i dont mind (jotakak playlist)

dont talk to me about the title of this thing im embarrassed enough

anyway but okay so!!!! very excited to share this!!!! this has been in the works since september but my picky ass finally found an adequate amount of songs so here it is!!!!!! my jotakak playlist (:

special thanks to my lovely and wonderful friend jade for helping me finish this this thing <3

track list nd why i picked the songs that i did under the break!

1. the predatory wasp of the palisades is out to get us! by sufjan stevens i chose this song because it’s all about internalized homophobia and being in love with your best friend as a kid which RLLY resonates w jotakak imo. esp cause in the song, stevens’ friend ends up leaving abruptly, leaving stevens to wonder about what couldve blossomed if they had stuck together and worked through the difficulties together, which JOTARO....THAT IS JOTARO-CORE esp cause kak also “leaves” (dies). so this song was a v obvious choice for me and in fact this song is what inspired me to create this playlist in the first place

2. we are beautiful, we are doomed by los campesinos! this song is abt being in love with someone but you both have ur issues so it’s kind of a mess. considering jotaro and kakyoin’s (to point it quite frankly) trauma and the fact that both of them do jack shit to try and cope with it healthily, this song DEFINITELY fits them. esp cause this song mentions physical fighting and the imagery that goes with it (”he got his teeth fixed/im gonna break them”, “i’ve got a fist on fire”, etc) and the entirety of the bridge/last verse rlly gives me these two’s vibes so! ya (:

3. love love love by of monsters and men this song is the singer feeling like shes completely unworthy of being loved by this important person in her life, particularly because she has NO idea how to show affection and love the (for lack of better word) “acceptable” way, or any way at all really. this REALLY has jotaro vibes cause he is one repressed motherfucker and as we see the entirety of his story, jotaro is full of love he loves so much it’s just he has no idea how to properly express it cause he’s scared essentially. but that didn’t stop people from loving him, in this case, that being kakyoin. hhhhHHh

4. ribs by lorde this song is about being scared of growing up but due to the lyrics being written the way they are, i kinda spin the interpretation of it to be the fear jotaro and kakyoin had on the crusade to egypt, as they were the youngest and didnt know if they’d make it back and everything is just incredibly overwhelming there is so much going on all the time those 50 days. i can do a full analysis on why but that would be kinda long LMAO. for now let’s leave it at they have a very Unique fear of growing up but it still fits with the lyrics. particularly the last bit of the song with the “youre the only friend i need” verses,,,makes me think of these two...

5. can i call you tonight? by dayglow i interpret this song to be about trying to figure out what, exactly, your feelings are for this very specific and important person in your life. since jotaro and kakyoin r both repressed and also suckers of internalized homophobia, i think they fit that theme very well. particularly with the whole “i feel like we’re close, but maybe we’re not actually? what are we?” theme going on in the lyrics, this whole song makes me think of jotaro and kakyoin figuring out their intense and sudden (cause again only 50 days but also, those 50 days had So Much going on) feelings for each other. also the “now i’m no longer alone” line in the chorus HHHHHHH that’s them

6. la la la love song by toshinobu kubota ft naomi campbell SO I KNOW THIS SONG IS KINDA JUST FLUFF but we need some light-hearted moments in this thing hjgg;. ALSO toshinobu kubota is canonically jotaro’s favorite musician so i wanted to reference that and this was my fav love song of his that i’ve found so far so (: also the “you are my shining star” line,,,heh

7. truce by twenty one pilots so this song is very soft. it’s about tending to wounds and taking a moment before continuing to push on. it makes me think abt jotaro and kakyoin taking care of each other on the journey (for example the lovers arc/n’doul fight). also the whole “stay alive, stay alive for me/you will die, but now your life is free/take pride in what is sure to die” makes me go fucking nuts that is. that fits these two to a T fuck

8. this side of paradise by coyote theory this song has big “two lonely people are in love with each other for the first time” vibes and OHHHHHHHHHH THAT’S JOTAKAK.... there are a lot of little lines that make me specifically think abt these two, such as “love so strong it makes me feel weak” (jotaro-core...), “if you’re lonely come be lonely with me”, “i’ll be yours if you’ll be mine” (wanting some security while ur in love for the first time is common but especially for these two i think it works spectacularly) but yea this song as a whole is just...ohhh them. theyre in lvoe HK;FNJFL

9. i saw you in a dream by the japanese house EVERY. SINGLE. LINE. OF THIS SONG IS POST-EGYPT JOTARO. EVERY SINGLE LINE. and the ghost the singer talks about seeing? they hadnt changed at all? they were such a pretty vision, a perfect hallucination? BRUH... just listen i could do a whole analysis on this song it all just fits jotaro mourning kakyoin throughout the years so so so so well it makes me feel nuts holy shit i just. literally every line. every line fits i am not joking. i cried when i first heard this song LMAO

10. video games by the young professionals SO LMAO obviously kakyoin’s epic gamer moves are being referenced but beyond that i interpret this song to just be the fun parts of being in love esp when ur young (backed up with the “kissing in the blue dark” and the “watching all our friends fall” lines). also the chorus just makes me want to cry cause just, happy jotakak moments PLEASE. “the world was built for two only worth living if somebody is loving you, and baby now you do” THEYRE NOT ALONE ANYMORE THEY FOUDN EACH OTHER IM GONAN WAILLLLLLL oh my god. im nuts theynkjNJKNJF also “i heard that you like the bad girls” please. these two shitty teenagers

11. ikanaide by sohta ft. yuki kaai this song is abt not wanting someone u love to leave u cause youll miss them obviously but also ur scared of how the time will change you and if it’ll make you unrecognizable eventually. big post-egypt jotaro vibes 😔 especially cause one part of the chorus translates to “i shouldnt cry, i shouldnt cry, but the truth is i want to say dont go” and im jus like OHHHHH NO IT’S JOTARO FINDING OUT KAKYOIN DIED jkfnNKJFNJDhkld

12. therefore you and me by eve ALRIGHT. god this song is one hell of a doozy. i interpret this song to mean being sincerely in love but youre in the wrong place/wrong time. considering the uh Whole Situation in part 3 there were definitely better times to fall in love for these two. jotaro and kakyoin try to be happy w the moments they do have (i think the second verse in particular adds to this sentiment what with the selfish ghosts part) but they want a better environment understandably so theyre also just kinda ignoring things until they can properly care for a relationship. but well...who knows if theyll live to make it to that better environment ):

13. mayonaka no door/stay with me by miki matsubara this song is a v sweet sentiment abt like “it’s not just heat of the moment!! i do care about u a lot!!” and asking the person u have feelings for to stick around. big kakyoin and jotaro vibes as it would be easy to call what they have a fling considering how relatively short of a timeframe they had but i genuinely think their relationship was deeper than just that and this song nicely reflects such. “jotaro and i will share a room cause we’re both students” fuckin head ass

14. a thousand years by sting oh sting.... so since sting is kakyoin’s favorite musician canonically i had to add one of his songs here as well but beyond just that i do think this song fits them!! it kinda gives me big “if not in this life, then the next” vibes which is a big uhhh thing for jotakak. they may be doomed to tragedy but the moments they have together make the tragedy worth enduring ironically i feel like this song is mostly from jotaro’s pov considering i dont think he ever completely got over kakyoin and this song def has that kinda sentiment but hey it fits them...

15. mr loverman by ricky montgomery SO FUNNY STORY i actually REALLY. REALLY didnt wanna add this song at first cause i felt it wouldve been...idk too cliche? i guess? and i was ALL kinds of picky when choosing songs for this playlist HOWEVER. eventually i relistened to it and read the lyrics while thinking specifically abt jotakak and it actually rlly does fit quite well KJDFN; another jotaro mourning song ): it’s not just the chorus tho the whole song fits jotaro immediately post-egypt but also i feel like some time around part 4 this sentiment would come back to him cause Yknow. Gays In Morioh and the mess of his family life back in america. it just aches for him cause while he’s happy josuke is happy he wishes he couldve had that for him and kakyoin too but yea jus ... them

16. you by petit biscuit an instrumental?? in a ship playlist?? yes that’s right much like mr loverman i was hesitant to put this song in cause it’s harder to justify since i dont rlly know much abt music (and not to b controversial but interpreting lyrics and interpreting music r two different things) however i really think the vibes of this song fit jotakak. it’s got a somber melody but the keys of the piano are high which im taking to mean “light in the dark” which. jotaro and kakyoin (along w the rest of the crusaders) were each other’s lights in the dark. also the ending samples a conference/lecture talking about space flight and like. star platinum. space symbolism. jotaro. yeah

17. saturn by sleeping at last MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. this song is all about losing someone very close and important to you, but reflecting on the good they brought into your life rather than the pain of losing them. this song also has HEAVY space imagery which stardust crusaders is absolutely chalk fucking full of so also it’s a very philosophical song and considering that jotaro and kakyoin are both Nerds and both got a nice view of the stars/space in the desert with each other, im sure they had conversations similar to the one highlighted in the song. i think it’s a good note to end the playlist on cause kakyoin is dead and jotaro is the survivor but it’s not a mourning song so much as jotaro taking the love he had for kakyoin and pushing forward with it allll th way into part 6

but yeah that’s the tracklist! i might add or take away a song or two but this is mostly it (: hope yall enjoy!

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fullsunskyy · 5 years

Text

NCT Social Media AU Fic Rec Masterlist

I really love SMAU’s so I’ve created a masterlist of all the fics I’ve found. This was mostly so I could keep track of what I’ve read, what chapter I was on for ongoing fics, and ones I haven’t read yet but I felt like it might be helpful so here you go. (Here are the BTS and Stray Kids masterlist as well)

Disclaimer: I don’t own any of these fics, I just enjoyed them. Please go and support the authors!

Key:

Completed [ ✔ ] In progress [ 🌸 ] Discontinued [❌] Skyler’s Fav’s [ ❤️] (TWT)-Twitter (lol sorry for the titles some of them don’t have any so I did my best)

Sorted by ships then member

Updated: 11/10/19 All links should be working!

Apparently I hit the link limit (whoops). Links still seem to work on mobile BUT here is a google doc of the post which is also linked on my page!

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1cZBtCDJWjNGNM-hiNkSmc0a71a_0ofLv1mQPZiEJMQE/edit?usp=sharing

~Ships~

Jaeyong (Jaehyun/Taeyong)

(TWT) Travesty by _jayaus [✔]

(TWT) Soccer Enemies by PEACHY0RANGE [✔]

(TWT) Nerdy!Taeyong/Popular!Jaehyun by allthejaeyong [✔]

(TWT) Secret Crush/No Soc.Med AU by puku2pang_ [✔]

(TWT) Confessions Account/Exes AU by allthejaeyong [✔]

Yuwin (Yuta/WinWin)

(TWT) FBI Agent by yongvcr [✔]

(TWT) Evicted by nyankamoto [✔]

(TWT) Fake Dating by nyankamoto [✔]

Doyu (Doyoung/Yuta)

(TWT) Life Saving/Mafia AU by hyuckieee [✔]

DoWoo (Doyoung/Jungwoo)

Silver by softforjungwoo [✔]

LuWoo (Lucas/Jungwoo)

List of TWT aus

(TWT) Florist AU by j_unguwu [✔]

(TWT) Social Media AU by yibugs [✔]

Different by softforjungwoo [✔]

(TWT) College AU by flirtaeyong [✔]

(TWT) Soulmate AU by vaxhildan [✔]

(TWT) Soulmate AU by oujiten [✔]

(TWT) Shy boy!Jungwoo/Closeted! Lucas AU by mfalvevo [✔]

(TWT) Vlogger!Lucas/ Cafe owner!Jungwoo by husynnhoj [✔]

(TWT) College/Exes? AU by vaxhildan [✔]

(TWT) Soulmate Bruise AU by hugnct [✔]

(TWT) BFF Pining/Contrasting Advice AU by flirtaeyong [✔]

HyuckHei (Haechan/Lucas)

(TWT) Buzzfeed Unsolved by nyankamoto [✔] [ ❤️]

MarkHyuck (Mark/Donghyuck)

Let’s Not Fall In Love by softforjungwoo [✔]

Just Friends by softforjungwoo [✔]

(TWT) Sick Hyuck AU by hyuckios [✔]

(TWT) Watchdog by hyuckios [✔]

(TWT) Watchdog sequel by hyuckios [✔]

(TWT) Christmas Elf! Hyuck by hyuckios [✔]

(TWT) Fake Dating AU by neoctyaus [✔]

(TWT) Fake Dating AU by tokki_co [✔]

(TWT) Straight Boy Mark by tokki_co [✔]

(TWT) Idol AU (sequel of Nomin AU) by tokki_co [✔]

(TWT) Eiffel Tower Kiss by yongvcr [✔]

(TWT) Song Lyric Confession AU by hyuckieee [✔]

(TWT) Hogwarts AU by hyuckieee [✔]

(TWT) Bubble Tea AU by jokheiz [✔]

(TWT) Impromptu Roommates AU by hyuckble [✔]

(TWT) Famous Rapper/Deaf Hyuck by seokmykiss [✔]

(TWT) Famous Rapper/ Deaf Hyuck Sequel by seokmykiss [✔]

(TWT) Spies AU by hyuckieee [🌸]

(TWT) Spiderman AU by hyuckieee [✔]

(TWT) Stan twt AU by satanseo [✔]

Nohyuck (Jeno/Hyuck)

(TWT) Magic Boy Next Door AU by hyuckble [✔]

(TWT) Exes/Anonymous Radio Host by seokmykiss [✔]

(TWT) Blocked Number AU by hyuckieee [✔]

(TWT) Alien AU by hyuckieee [✔]

(TWT) Vampire AU by hyuckieee [✔]

(TWT) Timestopping AU by hyuckios [✔]

Nahyuck (Jaemin/Hyuck)

(TWT) Badboy!jaemin and Coldguy!donghyuck by hyuckieee [✔]

Norenmin (Jeno/Renjun/Jaemin)

(TWT) Childhood BFF/Internet BFF by hqnctbot [✔]

(TWT) Dynamic Duo/Transfer Student by hyuckble [✔]

Renmin (Renjun/Jaemin)

(TWT) Alien AU by hyuckieee [✔]

Nomin (Jeno/Jaemin)

College AU by squishymochisoo [✔]

(TWT) Cute Bus Boy by jaeminomin [✔] [ ❤️]

(TWT) Detention AU by mfalvevo [✔]

(TWT) Soulmate AU by honeyjeno [✔]

(TWT) Until the Stars Crash by _jayaus [✔]

(TWT) Random Number AU by t7scvlt [✔]

(TWT) Lacrosse/Track AU by ji2ung [✔]

(TWT) Secret Admirer AU by neoctyaus [✔]

(TWT) Fake Exes by jaeminomin [✔]

(TWT) Random Number by jaeminomin [✔]

(TWT) Soulmate AU by bluesidejeno [✔]

(TWT) 101 Ways to Fall In Love by bluesidejeno [✔]

(TWT) 101 Ways to Fall in Love Sequel by bluesidejeno [✔]

(TWT) College AU by jaeminomin [🌸]

(TWT) Secret Admirer AU by najenmin [✔]

(TWT) Roommate AU by waeyv [✔]

(TWT) School Flirt by nijoowkp [✔]

(TWT) Good Boy!Jeno/Bad Boy!Jaemin AU by hqnctbot [✔]

(TWT) Random Number by luvnjms [✔]

(TWT) Good Boy!Jaemin and Bad Student!Jeno by kihclan [✔]

(TWT) Chem Class Pining AU by dprjeno [✔]

(TWT) Love Note AU by satanseo [✔]

(TWT) Animal Shelter AU by 13trbl [✔]

(TWT) Childhood Friends AU by bingchaotic [✔]

(TWT) Friends to Enemies AU by skzcty [✔]

(TWT) Popular!Jaemin/Anti-social!Jeno AU by geumjen [✔]

(TWT) Barista!Jeno/Art Student!Jaemin by dripinlove [✔]

(TWT) Gossip Account AU by geumjen [✔]

(TWT) Hannah Montana!Jaemin by dreamiewiki [✔]

(TWT) Big Brother!Jeno/Babysitter!Jaemin by jaesdean [✔]

(TWT) Dare AU by geumjen [✔]

(TWT) Soulmate AU by kangluvrs [✔]

(TWT) Hanahaki AU by lostsukki [✔]

(TWT) Closeted!Jeno/Flirty!Jaemin AU by yayhyuck [✔]

(TWT) President’s Son AU by timelessjae [✔]

(TWT) Basketball AU by yongvcr [✔]

(TWT) Tennis AU by fuyusbf [✔]

(TWT) Bet AU by mirohjeno [✔]

(TWT) Soulmate AU by luvsjisungs [✔]

(TWT) Roommate AU by frmios [✔]

(TWT) Idol AU by tokki_co [✔]

(TWT) Youtuber AU by tokki_co [✔]

(TWT) Airdrop Memes by dprjeno [✔]

(TWT) For Those Who Are Heartbroken by jaemintography [🌸]

(TWT) Dreamcatchers AU by jaemintography [✔]

(TWT) Bakery AU by kthcyphvr [✔]

(TWT) Ex-lovers AU (sequel to this) by trulyjaeno [✔]

(TWT) Nerdy!Jaemin/Athlete!Jeno (prequel to this) by trulyjaeno [✔]

(TWT) Enemies AU by tyongnim [✔]

(TWT) Theater Kids AU by ninthdreamie [✔]

(TWT) Playlist AU by seokmykiss [✔]

(TWT) Soulmate/Hair Color AU by jentokki [✔]

(TWT) Wrong Number AU by keumcult [✔]

(TWT) Confident Gays vs Panicked Gays AU by hyuckble [✔]

(TWT) BFF Pining/Contrasting Advice AU by flirtaeyong [✔]

Renhyuck (Renjun/Hyuck)

(TWT) Confident Gays vs Panicked Gays AU by hyuckble [✔]

Lumark/Markhei (Mark/Lucas)

(TWT) College AU by PEACHY0RANGE [✔]

Chensung (Chenle/Jisung)

(TWT) Stan Twt AU by tokki_co [✔]

~127~

Taeil x YN

Eureka by @wereseoyoung [✔]

Taeyong x YN

Matchmaker by @suhdone [✔]

Muse by @jenoptimist [✔]

Angel by @sugaaasweet [✔]

Is He An Angel Or A Devil? by @asteriaguk [✔]

Go Fetch by @simplistic-things [✔]

Cloud 9 by @bunny-doyounq [🌸]

Drive by @yongtxt [🌸]

Johnny x YN

Streak Breaker by @softtm [✔]

Regular by @dimplyjae [✔]

Let’s Pretend by @suhdone [✔]

Sunrise by @wereseoyoung [✔]

I’m So In Love by @romanticwyh [✔]

Ocean Eyes by @renjunhusband [🌸]

26 Reasons Why I Love You by @jaextapose [🌸]

Yuta x YN

Reputation by @96ttaphon [✔]

Starstruck by @wereseoyoung [✔]

Not My Type by @nakajeno [✔]

Common by @dimplyjae [✔]

Doctor, Doctor by @jaeculturetechnology [✔]

Yes Chef by @butterbeeryuta [✔]

Survival of the Richest by @markeu-lii [✔]

Walk of Shame by @kihuix [🌸]

Fake Love by @hxneysuga [❌]

Doyoung x YN

Star Crossed by @nakajeno [✔]

Anti by @softtm [✔]

Don’t Need Your Love by @ciielclaiir [✔]

Dear No One by @dearncityy [✔]

Sanctuary by @bunny-doyounq [✔]

Close as Strangers by hyuckflirts [✔]

New Beginnings by @yttanct [🌸]

Jaehyun x YN

Breathless by @peachyuns [✔]

Star Crossed by @nakajeno [✔]

Balance of Us by @solecize [✔]

Fly Away With Me by @ciielclaiir [✔]

The Breakfast Club by @kkuljaehyun [✔]

Hericane by @weishenv [✔]

Chlorine Dreams by @dahyunmingyu [✔]

Love Shot by @dimplyjae [✔]

Pact by @127-mile [✔]

Field Trip by @jae-canikeepyou [✔]

Get to You by @suhdone [✔]

The Games You Play by @fluffyjenope [✔]

Skinny Love by @dedicatedfangirltrash [✔]

More Than Friends by @realllllfangirllllll [✔]

Angels Who Can’t Sing by @missnctyukhei [✔?] (Interactive)

Deep Water by @bitchendery [✔]

Close as Strangers by @hyuckflirts [✔]

Narrow Hearts by @jeonjaemark [✔]

Boy Next Door by @jae-canikeepyou [🌸]

Welcome to my Playground by @ciielclaiir [🌸]

Tongue Tied by @peachyblurbs [🌸]

Survival of the Richest by @markeu-lii [✔]

Thirty Days by @ohnoyoonoh [🌸]

Who Will It Be? by @missnctyukhei [🌸]

Player’s Game by @aiurjins [🌸]

Scripted by @dimplyjae [🌸]

The Beauty Within by @justwinwin [🌸]

Sicheng/Winwin x YN

Help! By @panickedmarklee [✔]

Different Skies by @dearncityy [✔]

Running in Circles (1) by @solecize [🌸]

Player’s Game by @aiurjins [🌸]

Jungwoo x YN

La Vie En Rose by @haechanhearts [✔]

5:05 (1) by @jaeehyuns [✔]

Inclined by rubyyong [✔] (Written one-shot)

Mark x YN

Connected by @treerachas [✔]

Unexpected by @eboydonghyuck [✔]

Mona Lisa by @weishenv [✔]

Game Over by @kettlewrites [✔]

Yours by @wereseoyoung [🌸] ( linked to intros, no ml yet)

Love Game by @jenoptimist [🌸]

There You Are by @dimplyjae [🌸]

New Beginnings by @yttanct [🌸]

How to Get the Boy by @yojeongin [🌸]

Donghyuck/Haechan x YN

Reputation by @96ttaphon [✔]

Rewind by @hyucafe [✔]

What Can I Do by @markleeh [✔]

Love Club- ‘00 Line by @bitchendery [✔]

My Page by @lysyuta [✔]

Fingers Crossed by @treerachas [✔]

Stoned by @haechanhearts [✔]

To Him by @bitchendery [✔]

Sunflower by @softtm [✔]

Destined by @godrics [✔]

Place Your Bets by @haohoao [🌸]

Heartbreaker by @jxngolas [🌸]

Instant Romance by @ljnuwu [🌸]

~Dream~

Renjun x YN

Love Maze by @aiurjins [✔] (Stray Kids Crossover)

Love Club- ‘00 Line by @bitchendery [✔]

Wistful by @treerachas [✔]

Somebody to Love by @panickedmarklee [✔]

Catfished by @hyucafe [✔]

Celebrity Crush by @ncttrinities [✔]

Youtuber AU by @poutyjwoo [✔] (Linked to main ML- scroll to title)

The One Where Renjun Gets Kissed by @ncttrinities [🌸]

Crush Culture by @uwuwinwin [🌸] (Haven’t read)

In Time by @asteriaguk [❌]

Jeno x YN

Sun & Moon by @lysyuta [✔] [ ❤️] (Interactive)

Love Club- ‘00 Line by @bitchendery [✔]

How Can I Love You by @markleeh [✔]

Black and Blue by @tryagainmv [✔]

10 Step Love by @tryagainmv [✔]

Our First and Last Dance by @tinybinnie [✔]

More Than Friends by @bitchendery [✔]

1-800-Loveline by @tryagainmv [✔]

Badlands by @poutyjwoo [✔] (Linked to main ML- scroll to title)

Reckless Behavior by @fentyyoons [🌸]

Tell Me What To Do by @yericulture [🌸]

Jaemin x YN

Money Talk by @tinybinnie [✔]

What Family Says, Goes by @haohoao [✔]

Love Club- ‘00 Line by @bitchendery [✔]

What I Like About You by @neomrk [✔]

Timeless by @lysyuta [✔]

Black and Blue by @tryagainmv [✔]

Ferris Wheel by @yedarnit [✔]

Put Me On (1) by @eboydonghyuck [✔] (any missing ch not linked in ml but tag)

Spark Up by @tryagainmv [✔]

Puzzle by @nationaldoyoungday [✔]

Drive by @tryagainmv [✔]

Falling, Hard by @fentyyoons [✔]

Tickets for Two by @doyunohs [✔]

Dead Lover’s Society by @atrabiliousse [✔] [ ❤️]

Transfiguration not Transaction by @butterbeeryuta [✔] (Hogwarts AU)

What I Hate Like About You by @kettlewrites [✔]

Fan by @markleeh [✔]

Handle by @wereseoyoung [✔]

Complicated by @hyuckflirts [✔]

Paper Hearts by @renjunhusband [✔] (Male Reader)

Crush Culture by @uwuwinwin [🌸]

Heartbreaker by @jxngolas [🌸]

Fashion Friends by @xiaocity [🌸]

Wild and Fluorescent by @starrylele [🌸] (Maybe discontinued)

In Time by @asteriaguk [❌]

Chenle x YN

Sun & Moon by @lysyuta [✔] [ ❤️] (Interactive)

Turf War (1) by @eboydonghyuck [✔] (ML a little messed up-check tag)

That One Night I Slept Over by @hyucafe [✔]

I’m So Bad For You by @neomrk [✔]

Jisung x YN

I’ll Change You by @oofsoftnanahours [✔]

With You by @godrics [✔]

By My Side by @nctzen-mess [✔]

My First and Last by @lysyuta [✔]

Flower Cafe by @poutyjwoo [✔] (Linked to main ML- scroll to title)

Why Not Me, The Dancer by @hyucafe [✔]

Hiraeth by @hyucafe [✔]

OT6/7

Don’t Need Your Love Club by @aiurjins [🌸]

Dream x YN/ ??? x YN

Hey Shawty! By @eboydonghyuck [✔] (Interactive)

~WayV~

Kun x YN

Honey, Honey by @panickedmarklee [✔]

Young, Dumb, & Broke by @softtm [🌸]

Ten x YN

Andante, Andante by @panickedmarklee [✔]

New Face by @renjunhusband [✔] (Trans Reader!!)

Prima by @wereseoyoung [✔]

Lucus/Yukhei x YN

More Than a Feeling by @panickedmarklee [✔]

Playboy by @bitchendery [✔]

My Boy by @dimplyjae [✔] [ ❤️]

Do You Think About Me Too? by @byunnct [✔]

You & I by @leejenopes [✔] (linked to tag)

Bad Boy by @yukheisass [✔?]

Something New by @kihuix [✔]

Who Will It Be? by @missnctyukhei [🌸]

Not What It Seems by @softyuk [🌸] (Linked to tag)

Xiaojun x YN

Hendery x YN

From Rags to Riches by @markftmingi [🌸]

Young, Dumb, & Broke by @softtm [🌸]

Yangyang x YN

Siren by @dearncityy [🌸]

Skate to You by @svnflowery [🌸]

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jcmorrigan · 3 years

Note

Do you support anti-harassment and pro-shipping?

Short answer: Yes.

Long answer: This is an issue I’ve been monitoring and grappling with for a long time, and I feel like while my core philosophy has been the same for a while now, the nuances I’ve held shift every so often. I don’t identify as an anti. I just don’t. I think shipping things - be it incest, adult/minor, or one of the many flavors of abusive - is an ENTIRELY separate issue from wanting to do that IRL. I think sometimes people just want to write taboo topics for various reasons. Because the topics themselves are taboo and that’s interesting, because they offer methods of coping, even because some people are kinda into projecting upon the person on the losing end of the power dynamic and being dominated and kicked around, since that’s not something you should really chase in real life (unless it’s during a roleplay with a network of safewords).

There are many ships I think are gross, but I don’t want people to stop shipping them because I don’t like them. I don’t like ships that involve anyone under 13 with anyone over 18. I don’t like ships that involve anyone under 18 with anyone over 30. (Aging up is a whole different matter; if you write the younger character older and legitimately have them behave the way you think they would as an adult, it’s all good.) I REALLY don’t like ships where a character is either confirmed homosexual or only shown onscreen to be attracted to the same gender in a big-deal reveal sort of way (if the character has crushes on many genders or the creator uses Word of God to say they’re bi/pan, it’s fine) and the ship involves putting them with someone of the opposite gender (shipping them with enbies is fine). And no, I don’t think it’s a double standard that I sometimes like to do same-sex ships for characters who are coded very very straight. But this is all to do with my tastes and beliefs, not with what I think the rest of you all should do. If you like something that falls in my personal no-no category, then go ahead and do it. I’ll decide how much I want to interact with you, and that says more about our potential chemistry as a unit than it does about you as a person. And if you have boundaries yourself - if age-gap ships skeeve you out - then that doesn’t make you a bad person or even an anti! Just block as needed, talk to friends if you feel betrayed by them, and recognize what it is you don’t like and that you don’t have to like it.

Selfshipping? Do what you want. Again, I might personally have reservations about shipping with somebody too young (I actually perceived my own main f/o as in his twenties when I first watched his source, then saw Word of God say he was NINETEEN actually, even though that invalidates many many jokes about how he’s bad at adulting, so I just said “fuck it” and he’s at least 24 to me because that makes more sense and is more of my comfort zone). But what I like shouldn’t dictate what YOU do. I might give you a little side-eye if you’re shipping with somebody young, but I don’t know your reasons for doing so and I don’t have the right to judge. I might distance myself from certain situations if I’m feeling skeeved out. Or I might not feel skeeved out depending on how it’s handled. I also again would raise a brow if you’re selfshipping with an opposite-gender gay character, but same principle: you have your reasons, you shouldn’t stop because some rando (me) has an issue with your ship, and if I have a problem with how you handle it, I’ll just peace out on my end and not make a deal out of it.

A lot of this comes from the fact that I have mega OCD and I already try to moralize everything I do and hyper-analyze my choices to make sure I am being a Good Person. If I try to follow the “rules” to make my ships palatable to everyone, then I start worrying that any deviation makes me unforgivable. The vast majority of ships in my deck are squeaky-clean and have no problems, but sometimes I’ll get, like...Ventus/Papyrus, where Ven is 15, and Papyrus is in age limbo but I always thought he was at least 18, and then I don’t want to spiral into a moral crisis because I really think it would be cute to put the anime boy with the skeleton and I think they’re both asexual anyway. Or when I aged up Zevon from Descendants in order to make him make more sense as Yzma’s son, and then I had to give him a ship with an adult and I found one I really like (Kamdor from Power Rangers). And this is not even scratching the very complex issue of “The writers of this piece of fiction were ACTUALLY horny for incest and I can see the subtext for it and now I gotta figure out what to do with this mess because I like the series and I do want the characters to have partners who will treat them right.”

That said...up until recently, I looked up to the more extreme proship community, even so far as to kinda be more of an “anti-anti.” But as time went on, that...didn’t seem to fit. I’ve unfollowed a few of those blogs now because first of all, proshipping as a “political party” seems to come with some things I don’t believe in, such as forming a parasocial relationship with AO3 or saying that freedom of fans to ship what they want means the creators of mainstream media should be allowed to portray whatever they want and that being “critical of media you consume” is an automatic dogwhistle for bullies. More importantly: I have at least one friend who I know leans more anti, and I value her a lot and I think it’s valid for her to have her boundaries. After a while, the things that anti-antis did to protect themselves from bullying started to feel a little bit like bullying right back. I can’t really call myself a traditional proshipper anymore, even though I’m definitely not an anti. But I don’t want to be an “anti-anti” either. Because actually, I USED to be an anti on a different social media platform long before Tumblr, and though I can’t tell you exactly why I was that way, I can understand what it’s like to feel that strongly about things that gross you out and want to get them out of your face. I don’t want to say I’m against a whole bunch of people who are probably as varied in intensity as proshippers are.

At the end of the day, what I want is for us all to CHILL OUT. Can we please, PLEASE just focus on having fun in whatever way that comes - problematic ships or no - so long as people IRL aren’t getting hurt? Can we respect that there are probably a LOT of people with OCD on social media who spiral easily if shamed too much (which is probably how the anti movement rose in the first place - I’m sure my anti phase was fueled by my secular scrupulosity)? Can we not assume that people who ship weird age gaps are Actual Pedophiles, which is an entirely separate issue? (Listen...I grew up in the Age of AkuRoku. I hated AkuRoku. But if all the AkuRoku shippers turned out to be pedos, well, the news sure didn’t cover it. I’m saying the majority of them didn’t. And it’s been a decade.) Can we not spread the fear of being cancelled or that having a certain fictional preference will ruin a budding friendship? Can we communicate with one another in private if a friend says or does something that makes you uncomfortable, such as shipping something that makes you question their moral stance? Can actual legitimate creators of media not take sides in the goddamn pro/anti war, thereby making groups of their fans feel alienated from being welcomed by the source? Can we just have fun PLEASE?

Also, just...stop fighting about Reylo. That’s the dumbest thing to fight over and we managed to somehow get the actual SW crew in on that dumbass fight. Some people like Reylo and some people hate Reylo and THAT’S IT. WE’RE DONE HERE.

It sure says something that I worry, before hitting the Post button, that this might ruin some of the relationships I have or inspire a mass exodus of the followers whose names I come to like seeing in my notifications. But it’s ultimately better for all of us if I’m honest.

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