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#shes so jesus shes so her own thing shes so god and savior It Is Finished divinity of love and sacrifice
babydarkstar · 2 months
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honestly no wonder harrow forced ianthe to lobotomize her so she could save gideon. listen…LISTEN…if i was a secret-war-crime cult nunlet princess worshipped by my entire planet and the only person that (barely) kept me in check was my childhood nemesis—a butch a year older than me, towering over me in stature and physical prowess, and so hot it made my teeth hurt from how hard my jaw clenched in her presence, who wielded a two-handed seven-foot sword and had irritatingly huge biceps and told very lewd stupid jokes and also learned how to wield an entirely new weapon and be my bodyguard with startling accuracy in three months—only to have us finally learn to trust each other because we got invited to a magic murder mystery and then before the bubble burst i spilled the worst secret about myself that i was born because my parents murdered an entire generation and tried to Kill Her along with them and she just wouldnt die, and i told her this expecting a swift death i believed i deserved, only for her to fucking cradle me in her big butch arms and kiss me on my forehead with her soft butch mouth and just. forgive me for a shameful weight ive carried my entire life and then MAKE AN ACTUAL NECRO/CAV VOW with me despite every evil thing i have done to her……to have her tell me, in the end, bleeding and broken after putting up the most beautiful and glorious fight of her life, that she understands purpose and she understands duty and she knows loyalty more fiercely than ever now, that she knows who she is to me, that there is no her without me….to have her backed into a corner and make the ultimate sacrifice…..for me…..to recite scriptural wedding vows of eternity to me in her last wisps of soul-consciousness…..if i thought there was even a snowflake’s chance in the pyre that i could save her by turning myself into her very own locked tomb, i’d be begging ianthe tridentweirdius to crack my skull open and turn me to mush too, goddamn. i understand you harrowhark girl you don’t have to explain a thing to me. god said you couldn’t undo the lyctor’s bond bc it’d kill you. you told god and his angels that not even a lyctor’s bond could outshine the power of female spite and lesbianism and they didn’t listen. they didn’t believe you. but i heard you loud and clear and i was 17 and hormonal and hopelessly romantic not too long ago unlike those fucking dinosaurs and i’m saying it’s valid it’s what i would have done and really everyone should be thanking you for not being worse and more wretched about it, all things considered
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andysorbit · 1 year
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1 Corinthians 6:19 (M)
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Church boy!Doyoung x church girl!reader Minors, fuck outta here Warnings: corruption?, some bible verses, Siwon is an asshole, unprotected sex, oral sex, fingering, light dirty talk, daddy kink, spanking, choking, overstimulation Is this blasphemy??? Idk sorry to those who are religious? I mean if you're reading this then... ya know.
Word count: 7.2k?? I know it's a lot
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"He's not gonna take the bait. He's got a crucifix up his ass," Jaemin says and rolls his eyes.
The church basement is quiet and one thing you've all learned from being in this... Holy Place... is how to successfully whisper in a room so quiet that even Hellen Keller could hear a mouse piss on cotton.
Joy leans in closer but never takes her eyes away from her Bible, "Y/n, he's not interested. You need to learn to quit while you're ahead. Siwon has him on a leash," she mutters.
"No, Jesus has him on a leash," Jaemin counters.
You pretend you don't hear them and turn back to Kun, "You got his cousin to give you a chance. He can't be that much different."
Kun looks across at Joy and smirks, "Don't say it like that... you sound like I used her," he mumbles.
Joy chuckles softly, "You were using me. You just didn't bank on getting used."
"And that's why I love you," he sighs.
Joy shakes her head, "You think you love me."
Your eyes wander back over to Doyoung's face and you watch him closely.
Sunday school is over for the day and you're all left to prepare for next week's lesson.
It's the same ritualistic pattern that’s posted on a bulletin board in Pastor Siwon's obsurdly perfect writing:
Sunday Schedule
Sunday school must begin at 8 AM and end by no later than 8:50 AM.
Breakfast/refreshments to be served from 8:55 AM to 9:15 AM.
Sunday school instructors are to work on next week's lesson from 9:00 AM to 9:45 AM
Everyone must be upstairs and seated in the sanctuary by 9:55 AM
Siwon's a bitch.
He hates women, gay people, and anyone he can't use God to manipulate. He also hates his brother Doyoung.
Siwon's father wanted Doyoung to lead the church in the event that he were to suddenly die. It was a discussion that had been talked about for years.
Nobody paid it much attention until, of course, their father did suddenly die.
The entire church- including Siwon's own wife- voted for Doyoung to lead but Doyoung, being an obedient little brother, declined.
"I'm just happy to be here and serve God with you all. Siwon hyung is more equipped to lead you than I am and I'm more than happy to continue teaching Sunday school with the little ones. If leading a church is my calling, our Savior will make me ready for that day but until then, let's just praise Him and do our best to show His glory."
That day, you were more than a little disappointed to say the least. You knew he'd look good in a clergy robe but here he is, still teaching the little ones.
Doyoung instructs the preschoolers, Kun instructs grades one through three, Jaemin instructs grades four through six, Joy instructs grades seven through nine, and you teach grades ten through twelve.
You don't enjoy it but you do it. You don't enjoy this church but you still come. Not because you feel obligated but because you don't want your funds cut.
None of you do.
Doyoung is the only one who still comes to church willingly, he prays with fervency, and cries during worship.
Sometimes, you wonder if he cries because he really feels God's presence or if that's his subconscious pleading for release from the Holy sunken place.
"I have to teach the kids about abstinence. I hate that," Joy mutters and snaps you out of your trance.
"Because you're a godless whore?" Jaemin laughs quietly.
Surprisingly, she nods, "I feel like a hypocrite."
"But you're not," You tell her. She smiles at you appreciatively.
"Ask Doyoung to help you. He's read the whole fuckin' Bible cover to cover four times already." Jaemin says.
You perk up when you hear Doyoung's folding chair softly drag across the concrete floor.
"Thirsty ass," Jaemin Snickers.
"Shut the fuck up," You hiss and drop your eyes back down to your Bible.
"Ask him for me, Y/n," Joy whispers.
"Hey, Doyoung?" You say as you close your Bible.
The room feels even hotter and you lock eyes with him.
He gives you the warmest smile, "Yes, Y/n?"
"Joy has to teach about abstinence and she needs help but she's not sure how to ask you. She's awkward about it," You tell him.
He smiles and nods at you then looks over at Joy, "You're such a jelly belly, Joy," He glances at the clock behind you, "Well, we have ten minutes. I finished early so I can help you."
He sits down in the empty chair beside yours and opens his Bible,
"I really like first Corinthians chapter six verse... nineteen. It.. speaks on how our bodies are temples and how they belong to God. I think that's a good way to start the conversation. You have to remember, Joy, your job is scratch the surface. They'll have a deeper discussion with their parents. You really don't wanna cross that boundary,"
Joy nods. This is her first go round with Sunday school. Yeri used to teach it but she just disappeared one day. There were rumors that she had gotten pregnant and that's why she stopped coming with her parents.
It's none of your business, though.
You sit and listen to him explain things so happily. His eyes light up and for a moment, you wish you were God just so he could make your own name sound so beautiful.
"I hope I was able to help you with this. If you need any help, don't be scared to ask. I'm here as much as I can be. Closed mouths can't get fed," Doyoung says warmly.
Jaemin snorts and masks it with a cough, "Sorry," he whispers.
Everyone gets up and Doyoung softly touches your arm, "Can I talk to guys before we go up?" he asks. You nod and watch as your friends glance at each other with befuddled expressions.
"Why don't you guys like me?" he asks and you feel your heart break.
"What? Who said that? Doyoung, who said that to you?" You ask him softly.
"My brother did. He said that... you guys talk about me behind my back and- I just wanna know what I did. I haven't made you feel uncomfortable, have I?" he searches your face for an answer and you can't believe he thinks that.
"Doyoung, we thought you didn't like us. You never sit with us and we thought you just preferred your own company," Kun says apologetically.
"I'm sorry. I- we never meant to make you feel that way. Especially me. We would love it if you sat with us," You say eagerly.
"Oh, yeah. Especially her," Jaemin agrees. You whip your head around to glare at Jaemin and he throws his hands up in concession.
You turn back to Doyoung and he smiles, "I know I can be a little closed off sometimes. Please don't hold it against me," he chuckles.
"It's no problem. We know you mean well," Jaemin says with a tight smile.
He's always been a bit stand-offish with Doyoung. How Siwon could have such a good brother perplexes him.
Doyoung smiles, "Okay. Next Sunday, I'm with you guys."
You nod, "I'm looking forward to it!"
~
Your week is slow and you're actually excited to be going to church. You pick Jaemin up on your way and he smokes as you drive.
"This shit better be aired out before we get there," You tell him.
He shrugs, "You say that every Sunday. Has it ever not been aired out?"
"Got me there," You concede.
Jaemin tosses his cigarette out the window at the red light. As you turn the block and into the parking lot, you see Doyoung get out of his car.
As always, he's neat and casual; opting for his usual solid-colored slacks and polo shirt. He looks so good.
"As much as I hate to say this, you're gonna have to stop picking me up if you're gonna get him to nail you to a cross," Jaemin says as you're parking your car.
"I hope you get lung cancer," You sigh.
Jaemin laughs, "You don't mean that."
When you get out, you see Doyoung leaning against his car.
He's waiting for you.
"Good morning!" he cheers.
"Good morning," You say back.
Jaemin gives him a wave, "He's trying to figure us out," he murmurs.
"Then stop cockblocking," You mumble back.
"I'm gonna head in. I have to help the kids with a few things. Thanks for the ride, Y/n," Jaemin says.
Doyoung squeezes his Bible and looks over at you, "So you never need any help with Sunday school. How is it?" He asks.
"It's good. The kids are great. Yeri took good care of them before they graduated," You tell him.
He nods, "Hey... uh... I was wondering if you wanted to um... go with me to the church picnic next month? Siwon's been..." he trails off because he's obviously trying not to badmouth his brother.
"Nagging you?" You ask quietly.
He freezes like a startled rabbit then nods, "Yeah," he whispers.
"You don't have to be married until you're ready. Besides... I'm not marrying you," You laugh.
Doyoung laughs too, "You know how he is... why he married Taeyeon and all that," he sighs.
"He just wanted a piece of ass and didn't wanna burn in hell for it?" You blurt out.
Doyoung, surprisingly, bursts out laughing, "Is he that obvious?" he says with an exasperated smile.
He's so handsome.
"Yeah," You say, "He is."
Sunday school is mundane as usual and when it's over, Doyoung comes to sit with you. Right beside you to be specific.
Jaemin smirks.
People in the congregation tried to rally for you and Jaemin to date and prelude to marriage but that would never happen.
Jaemin's gay and he's fucking the choir director's son Renjun but that, along with everything else that's sinful in this church, is none of your business. He's your friend and you love him but he's private about his affairs.
Everyone has a level of privacy they maintain in order to cover their own asses. He trusts you with his life but he stays discreet to keep your hands clean.
"It's my week to clean the church," Doyoung sighs.
"Tough luck," Joy laughs, "I had last week."
"I'll be okay," Doyoung says, "It's my own fault for staying up so late."
"Y/n can help you. It's not like she has anything to do later," Kun pipes up.
"No, that's okay," Doyoung says softly, "If she doesn't wan-"
"I really don't have anything to do later and you look pretty tired. I don't mind helping you," You say eagerly and Jaemin stiffles a laugh.
After service, you seek out Doyoung and he pulls you to the side, "Wait for everyone to leave. It'll make more sense once they do," he whispers.
So you say your goodbyes and avoid Siwon's leering eyes.
Once the church is empty, Doyoung smiles at you, "Come with me," he says cheerfully as he leads you to the sound booth.
"This is why it always takes me so long to finish."
He tinkers with his phone and when Higher Ground by Stevie Wonder begins playing, he looks over at you, "Doesn't it sound so good in the church? The way it echoes?" he says as he leans in close enough for you to hear him.
The chill that rushes down your spine sends you into a frenzy and Doyoung notices. Your voice fails you so you nod.
He doesn't say anything but he does hold your gaze. He's hard to read but you don't worry.
You clean and enjoy his playlist. One thing that hasn't changed is his love for Motown. As you clean, you sing together and when he's feeling extra playful, he keeps his eyes trained on yours and sings to you.
For a moment, you think that he wants you too.
~
When Doyoung comes to pick you up for the picnic, he's dressed in a seafoam green t-shirt, blue jeans, and white Keds.
He beams at you as he leans against the car, "What are the chances?" he says as he gestures to your seafoam green knee-length midi dress and white Keds.
"I definitely look better," You chuckle as you walk towards him. He opens the passenger door for you, "You look beautiful," he says as his eyes roam over you. "Thank you, Doyoung," You say as you hold his gaze, "You look really good too."
You can't look away from him and it's obvious he's losing the battle as well.
He draws in closer to you and hesitates. You reach out to gently place your hand on his cheek,
"I'm not gonna stop you if that's what you're waiting for."
Doyoung slots his lips against yours and kisses you slowly.
His kiss is essentially who he is; warm, gentle, wholesome.
He slinks an arm around to draw you closer, "Is this okay?" he asks you.
You nod and melt against the firmness of his body. He sets your insides on fire and the subtle strength of his hold on you sends a frenzied storm straight down to the pit of your stomach.
You can already feel your panties soaking.
He breaks the kiss and smiles at you then dips back down to kiss you once more,
"We should... get going," he says into your ear and it's so obvious that he wants to press a kiss to your neck.
"Let me go first," You chuckle.
He loosens his grip on you and smiles, "Whoops," he laughs softly.
"We're gonna be late," He says and it's more to himself because he's very much aware that he's the holdup.
You slip down into the car and look up at him.
He stares back at you and you can see his mind racing. He takes a deep breath and wets his lips with his tongue before closing the passenger door.
You watch him go behind the car and stop for a moment; bowing his head and closing his eyes, he prays. You know he's asking for forgiveness and strength.
He finally moves around to the driver's seat and gets in; he seems ready to pull off but he hesitates,
"Traveling mercies," he says softly and bows his head.
You follow suit and he prays,
"Blessed Father God, thank you for giving us another opportunity to live another day in your glory. Please be with us as we travel today. We're thankful as always for your love and protection. In Jesus' name, amen."
"Amen," You whisper.
He starts the car and his motown playlist picks up from the middle of Mama’s Pearl by the Jackson 5 and you smile.
As he drives, you both chat about work and sometimes stop to sing because the music is just too good.
"You're the only person who sings with me," he says as he pulls into the church parking lot.
"Am I?" You ask incredulously, "How could anyone not wanna sing with you?"
Doyoung shrugs, "I dunno... I don't mind. I think I prefer if it's only you anyway."
You smile at him and he puts the car in park before cutting the engine.
Your mind wanders back to when you were both younger and how close you were to each other.
As if he read your mind, he pipes up,
"What happened to us?"
"I don't know, Doyoung, but I miss you," You reply.
"I think I let Siwon steer me too much. He always said you were trouble and I'd be getting myself a one-way ticket to hell if I stuck around you..." he trails off.
"Ouch," You grunt.
"I'm sorry I told you that," he says apologetically.
"Don't be... I kinda already knew... but why the sudden change? Are you just trying to spite him?" You ask.
Doyoung shakes his head, "Not at all. I just... I'm tired of trusting him so blindly... he's not a good person."
You arch your eyebrows in surprise, "It's okay that you trusted him. He's your brother and you love him. There's nothing wrong with that."
He nods and then opens his door, "I'll get your door for you. Stay put," he says.
He comes around and opens your door. As you get out, you see Siwon pull in a few spots down.
He's alone.
He gets out of comes over with a confused smile, "Sister, your dress is mighty short," he says.
"And considering there's a dresses only code for a picnic, so is my patience," You say with a tight smile.
Siwon nods and stands down, "Fair enough," he concedes before looking over at Doyoung, "Is she your date?"
Doyoung nods, "We agreed to come together so yes... she is."
Siwon smiles. "Well it is time you started seeking out a wife."
Doyoung shakes his head, "It's not a job hunt, hyung. I'll know when it's time," he says sheepishly.
"Of course," Siwon says with a smile, "I'll see you guys 'round back."
When he leaves, Doyoung looks at you, "I'll leave early if you do."
"Definitely. How long should we stay?" You ask him.
"I say we give it about an hour. Eat light. I'll cook for you," he says with a shy smile.
"You're gonna cook for me? Get outta here," You say with surprised smile.
"It's a hobby... no big deal," he says coolly.
He's pulling you in.
You watch as Siwon stands at the grill and burns a fourth burger. It's a shame that hardly anyone is eating and those who are, obviously aren't enjoying the food.
You're close enough to hear him mutter to himself about it. Renjun comes over, "Pastor, I can take it from here." he says with a sheepish smile.
Siwon turns him away just as he has the others but Renjun doesn't back down; instead, he drops all pretenses of pleasantries and gently pries the spatula out of Siwon's hand, "Nobody likes your food. Look around," he says.
"They're burgers, Renjun. Taeyeon did this all by herself last year. How hard can it be?" Siwon scoffs.
"Rocket science since nobody can tell your burgers from a hockey puck now... move. Over," Renjun says shortly.
Siwon sighs and moves over, "Everyone's so mean today. First Y/n and her dress now you and these burgers."
Renjun flips the burgers with ease and rolls his eyes, "We're only two people- not the whole world and there's nothing wrong with Y/n's dress. She looks pretty. If you're feeling some type of way about her kneecaps then that's something you should work out with God. Don't put the blame on her for it."
Renjun looks at you and winks. You smile back and fight back your laughter. You take a sip of your soda and watch Doyoung come over to you.
"Ready to go?" he asks you softly.
You nod, "Yeah... I am."
"Head into the church. I'll count to seventy and meet you by the nursery," he says.
You nod and stand up.
You head inside and wait for him.
You send Jaemin a text:
Y/n: he's gonna cook for me 😳
Jaemin: CAN I GET TO DA YAMZ??? SWEET YAAAAAAMZ!!! 😩😩😩💦💦💦💦🍑🍑🍑🍑🍆🍆🍆🍆
Y/n: Why did I even bother telling you 🙄
Doyoung comes around the corner and you slip your phone back into your bag. He takes your hand,
"Come on."
Doyoung's house is a cozy one level cottage. He's big on earth tones.
"This is your house? It suits you, Doyoung," You gush as he unlocks the front door. The aroma of clove hits you and for only a breadth of a second, you imagine waiting for him in this very foyer after he's come home from along day of work.
"Is that a good thing?" he laughs.
"Yeah. Your house is really cute."
"You think I'm cute?"
"I don't kiss ugly men."
He turns to you and smirks, "That was... my first kiss y'know."
"No," You gasp.
He nods, "Yep."
"Doyoung, be serious!" You exclaim because there is no way in hell he could've kissed you that well if it was his first time.
"I am! Why is that so hard to believe?" he laughs.
"It was too good... just too good," You say incredulously.
He gives you a smug smile, "My ego's gonna skyrocket. Be quiet."
You stare at him with bewildered eyes and he waves a hand at you, "Come on. I know you're hungry."
His kitchen is decorated in shades of terracotta. You look around at the neatness of everything.
After you take turns washing your hands, Doyoung pulls a bowl of fruit salad out of his refrigerator, "I made this for the picnic but I forgot it so eat as much as you want because I don't want it to go to waste but I'm definitely not going back to drop it off."
You laugh and pop a grape into your mouth. His eyes linger on your mouth so you take the opportunity to pick up a pineapple chunk and bite into it slowly.
The blush spreads across his cheeks but he can't look away, "I um... what are you hungry for?"
"Whatever you wanna cook. I just wanna eat," You say between bites.
Doyoung smiles at you, "Do you want... rosemary chicken? I have a really good recipe and I still have fresh rosemary left," he rings his hands out nervously.
"That sounds so good!" You exclaim.
You watch Doyoung prepare ingredients and you make small talk and of course, he plays some music; this time opting for a soft jazz playlist.
"You like carrots?" He asks as he chops up a carrot.
"Eh... not raw," You say with a frown. You watch him hold a slice out for you.
"Do it for me. It's good for your eyes. They're too pretty to not be taken care of. Say 'ah'. C'mon," he says eagerly.
You frown a little deeper and pull back.
"Ugh, I'm gonna have to scratch you off my potential wife list. You're too disobedient. Yuck," he says with mock disgust and a sassy roll of his own pretty eyes.
You both cackle and you let him ease the carrot slice into your mouth.
"That's a good girl," he hums.
You both freeze and the silence that hangs over his playlist is deafening.
"What?" You grunt.
"I'm so sorry I said that," he says just above a whisper.
"Why would you be sorry you said that?" You ask him as you pucker your lips suspiciously.
Doyoung blushes again, "I don't... know," he replies and pops his lips. He tries not to smirk but he fails and he gives you a gentle brush across your cheek with his knuckles.
You lean into his hand and he gives you a knowing look.
When the food is ready, Doyoung seats you at his breakfast nook, "Lunch is served," he says as he sets your plate down in front of you.
"Wow... Doyoung, it's almost too pretty to eat," You say as you look at the plate and then up at him.
He smiles and turns to get his own plate. He brings it to the table and sits across from you. He reaches his hands across to take yours,
"Will you lead us in saying grace, sister?"
He's definitely flirting.
"Um... dear Lord, thank you for this food we're about to eat, bless the hands of the chef, and bless us as we take privilege in enjoying this meal," You say softly.
Doyoung smiles and stands back up, "I forgot the wine," he says as he crosses the kitchen to retrieve it from the refrigerator before getting two wine glasses from the cabinet.
"So... bless the hands of the chef, huh?" he says as he pops the cork.
You watch him bring the bottle and the glasses over, "Yeah... you did a great job," You say.
He fills your glass and then his own, "Bless the mouths that enjoy it," he counters as he holds his glass up.
You clink your glass against his as you nod in agreement, "Amen."
You can't conceive how Doyoung's meal can taste better than it looks but somehow, it's possible. As you finish off your wine, Doyoung clears the table.
"Doyoung, that was the best meal I've ever eaten," You say as you lean back and sigh.
Doyoung's face lightens up, "I'm glad you enjoyed it. Next time, I'll bake you something," he says and winks at you.
"Bake me something?" You gasp, "You're gonna bake for me too?"
Doyoung nods, "I told you, it's just a hobby."
"That's a great hobby. You're really good at it," You tell him.
"Siwon hates that I do this... he says it's menial woman's work but I like doing it and I like being useful. I don't want my wife to cook for me because she has to... I want her to cook for me because she likes me,"
You tilt your head "Because she likes you?" You ask him.
"Yeah," Doyoung nods, "Loving someone and liking someone are often two very different things. You can love someone and not like them. I love my brother but I don't like him... I want my wife to like me. I want her to smile when she thinks about me. I don't want what Siwon has with Taeyeon. I want my wife to see me as someone worthy of respect and not as someone she feels religiously obligated to respect."
You nod in agreement, "That's a good thing to want. There's nothing wrong with that." You reply.
Doyoung leans over the sink, "I don't want things to be traditional," he murmurs.
"Yeah?" You egg him on. You know the wine has him on the cusp of saying something that he normally wouldn't say.
"I- I don't... I don't wanna marry a woman who gives herself to me because the Bible says we have to reproduce. I wanna marry a woman who jumps into bed with me because she thinks I'm hot and I turn her on, I want her to... to think about me and squeeze her thighs together because I just do it for her. I don't believe that love has to be so... boring. Why would God even give us all of these feelings if we're supposed to just ignore them?" he finally says.
You sit in silence and Doyoung chuckles.
"Have I said too much?" he asks as he turns to look at you.
"No... of course not. I don't... see where you're wrong. You deserve that... Besides, if it's in us, it's meant to be enjoyed within reason," You say as you rise to your feet. You step closer to him and he reaches out for you.
"I placed bets that I'd marry you," he confesses as his lips find the corner of your mouth. He presses a light kiss to your skin there then his lips ease down to your neck.
"Yeah?" You sigh.
He hums as he kisses down to the base of your throat, "Yeah."
"Gambling is a sin." You laugh and he catches you lips with his own.
"I'm not always traditional," he sighs.
He traps you against the counter and the warmth of his body soothes you, "I won't do anything to you that you don't want me to do," he sighs as he kisses you.
"Do your worst, church boy," You whisper.
Doyoung slides his hands up your dress and cups your pussy. He moans, "Did I do that to you?" he purrs.
"Yeah... you always do," You hum.
He quirks up an eyebrow, "This is a regular occurrence for you?" he laughs against your lips.
"Uh huh... And sometimes when it gets to be too much, I touch myself."
"Y/n! No!"
You laugh, "Oh, yes!"
Doyoung tuts and dips his tongue into your mouth, "Such a dirty... dirty girl." He slips his hand into your panties and his fingers find your clit. For the first time ever, he curses,
"Fuck, you're soaked, baby,"
It sounds so hot and you whimper as he strokes your clit slowly.
"Doyoung!" You shrill.
"For what it's worth... I'm no better. You just do something to me and I... I can't control it."
He takes his free hand to bring one of your arms up to his shoulder and then the other, "Hold onto me," he says and his voice is low and steady.
You circle your arms around his neck and kiss him hungrily. His fingers massage you slowly, "Does this feel good?" he asks you.
"F-faster... please?" You plead softly. He laughs and easily obliges.
"Spread your legs a little more for me, sweetheart," he tells you softly; you quickly do as your told and he pulls back to smile at you,
"Good girl."
You moan a little bit louder and he pulls his hand out of your panties. His fingers find his way to his mouth and he sucks them clean, "Are you comfortable with coming with me to my bedroom? I can have you here next time."
"Next time?" You gawk.
"There will be a next time. You have stars in your eyes, Y/n."
He takes your hands and presses your knuckles to his lips, "Am I wrong?"
You shake your head, "No."
"Then let's go," he says and leads you out of the kitchen. Your head spins with excitement as he brings you along gently.
His bedroom is a cozy and comfortably cluttered dream. On the seat of his bow window, sits his Bible; it's opened to the book of Matthew. You try to see what chapter he was reading from but he guides you to his bed.
"Matthew, chapter five... verse twenty-eight," he says softly as his fingers begin to slowly unbutton your dress, "'But I say to you that everyone whose eyes are turned on a woman with desire has had connection with her in his heart'... I've battled with this far longer than I'd ever be proud to admit."
You smile up at him, "You're battling a sex demon?"
He laughs and covers his face with his hands, "Everyone has something that they struggle with! I mean, we're humans!" he laughs. He drops his arms down and smirks at you.
"That is true," You sigh.
Doyoung eases his shirt over his head and tosses it beside you on the bed.
It's your turn to freeze. As his hands find their way back to your dress, your eyes roam over his toned skin. He chuckles as he pushes the dress off of your shoulders,
"What demon do you fight, Y/n?"
"I have no demons... I'm a perfect vessel," You chuckle breathlessly. Doyoung pulls you to stand up and lets the dress pool at your feet, "I don't believe that for a second."
You step out of the dress and he picks it up. You watch him fold it gingerly before bringing it over to his honey colored easy chair and placing it down. He turns back to you. He's ambivalent and it's written all over his face.
"We can... put our clothes back on, Doyoung. We don't have to do this. We can just get dressed and act like this never happened," You tell him reassuringly.
He comes back over to you and pulls you into his arms, "You know neither of us wanna do that."
You nod in agreement and he kisses you. It's different. It's rough.
He eases you down onto the bed and as you scoot up to the middle, he hovers over you, "Tell me something... something wicked. Tell me something that will make me feel better about the things I'm going to do you."
Your body is somehow even hotter. He kisses your lips then licks a warm stripe across your neck before sucking on the tender flesh.
"I think about you all the time... I imagine you... bending me over in the church basement and fucking me until I can't stand," You whimper.
Doyoung groans and presses his hardness against you, "That's your fantasy? Being fucked in a church basement? Such a dirty girl... what else do you think about?" Doyoung kisses his way down to your chest before pulling you up. He reaches around behind you and unclasps your bra.
"I think about you overpowering me and- using me until you're satisfied... I just wanna be ravished by you," You whine as you both grind against each other.
He's invading all of your senses and neither of you has completely undressed yet.
"How are you even real?" he groans as he fumbles with his pants. He clumsily gets them off and kicks them off of the bed. Your bra is next to go then his briefs and then finally, your panties.
Doyoung kisses you with fervency. He pulls back and pins your arms over your head, "You wanna be ravished, huh?" he chuckles and dips down to take your bottom lip between his teeth.
"Uh huh," You sigh.
Doyoung slides down and nestles himself between your thighs. He peppers your skin with soft kisses. His mouth latches onto your clit and he sucks it softly. You cry out and buck your hips against his mouth.
He laps at you and teases you with his tongue.
"Doyoung... yes. Please... please," You gasp.
He continues his attack on you and you reach down to card your fingers through his hair and grind your hips desperately.
"Not enough, is it?" he asks as he raises his head to look at you.
"I... no... that's not it... I just want you. Come back up here... please," You whimper.
Doyoung laughs, "Do you miss me or something?"
"I do," You reply.
Doyoung comes up and presses a sloppy kiss to your lips.
You reach between your bodies and stroke him. He squeezes his eyes shut and grips the sheets.
"Want you in my mouth," You whimper and Doyoung flips you both over. He looks up you before propping himself up on his elbows,
"Have at it."
You nestle between his legs and grip his cock with both hands, "You're bigger than I expected," You say then lick from the base up to the tip.
Doyoung's tongue darts out to wet his lips, "Fuck," he sighs.
"Am I teasing you?" You ask him innocently.
"Come on... do something, baby," he sighs.
You smirk and drag your tongue back and forth over his leaking tip; collecting precum as you do, "Make me do something," You say softly.
Doyoung takes a fistful of your hair, "Don't be such a tease," he says and gently forces your head down. You moan and take him all the way into your mouth.
He slowly bucks his hips as the head of his cock repeatedly taps the back of your throat, "That's a good girl," he moans, "So fucking good."
You let him use your throat as you feel your own wetness slicking up your inner thighs.
Doyoung pulls you back up and kisses you, "Not like this... I need to be inside you," he says as he gets you back underneath him.
He teases your slit with the head of his cock and you whine desperately, "Ask me for it nicely."
"Please... give it to me," You whimper.
"You need me to fuck you?" he asks you roughly; his voice is coarse and heavy with desire.
You nod and that's all it takes for him to guide himself into you.
"Fuck!" You both cry in unison. You look at each other and laugh.
Doyoung dips down to press his forehead to yours, "You're so much better than I could ever have imagined... so fucking tight for me. We were made for each other. Don't you agree?" He says and his hips collide with yours over and over and over again.
"Y- yeah... I... I love this. Please don't stop, Doie... please," You plead. You wrap your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist, "I want you to fuck me forever."
"Forever?" he sighs and slows his pace, "You could take this forever, baby?"
You kiss him, "Uh huh," You pant.
Doyoung groans, "I'm... fuck, baby... I'm close."
You reach down to bring yourself closer to your own release.
He pushes your hand away and replaces it with his own, "No... that's what I'm here for... let me," he says as his fingers draw fervent circles into your clit.
"Doie! Yes, yes, yes! Fuck..." You moan as you both release together.
"That's it, baby. You sound so pretty when you cum for me. That's my girl," he praises you as his own orgasm rattles his body.
You cling to Doyoung and he collapses on top of you. You both tremble as you regain clarity. Once his breathing is under control, he rears up to press a chaste kiss to your temple then rolls off of you.
You turn to face each other and the air is still thick; he smiles, "I want you to know something..." he says as his eyes roam your face, "I don't want you because I just need a release... I want you because you're the only woman I've ever thought about doing this with... You're the only woman that's ever made me forget that God even matters."
You blush and bring your hand over to stroke his cheek, "I don't even think I could say anything to top how special that is but I can try," You say with a chuckle.
Doyoung smiles.
"I... I've kissed boys... maybe too many but... I waited for you. I didn't want anyone else," You tell him.
His face beams, "We waited for each other and didn't even realize it," he laughs.
~
Come Sunday morning, Siwon is privy to the way you and Doyoung engage each other.
"Sister, can I have a word with you?" he pipes up. Jaemin's eyes perk up and he's obviously ready to go to battle. You shake your head and smile at him before turning your attention to Siwon.
"Yes, Pastor?" You say.
"You've been very close with my brother. What exactly are your intentions?" he asks you suspiciously.
Doyoung is at your side before you even have time to react, "Her intentions are well, hyung. Better than yours were," he says coolly.
Siwon scoffs, "What?"
"Taeyeon hasn't been here in... three months now? She's not that sick. She left you and everyone knows she did," Doyoung says.
"Literally everyone knows," Renjun says in passing.
"I'm just worried about the choices you're making. You seem different," Siwon presses.
Doyoung shrugs, "My choices are fine. If I ever go astray, I'll do the work to get back on track. I think you should worry about your own affairs."
Siwon nods, "Well, if that's how you want it then that's how it'll be."
He excuses himself and Doyoung turns to you, "You're not his sin to overcome," he laughs.
That afternoon, while the sun hangs low in the sky, Doyoung tends to his garden, and you watch him as you remain on standby, ready to help him with his needs.
"Being married is gonna be a lot of fun... I like having you here to help me with the gardening," he sighs with a soft smile.
"Daddy's little helper," You mumble.
He straightens up and his eyebrows go up, "I- I- whoooo, what? What? Y/n, behave!" he gushes as he gently nudges you with his arm.
"You've never had that thought?" You ask him teasingly.
He nods, "I have but I'm busy right now and you have to behave yourself because this was supposed to be done three days ago and I don't want my garden to die so... sit there, be quiet, and don't touch me until I'm done."
"Okay, Daddy," You say sweetly.
Doyoung stands up and pulls off his gloves off, "On your feet. Come on," he says as he places his gloves in his supply box.
You stand up and follow him into the kitchen. He washes his hands and turns to you.
He's trying so hard to be firm with you but a smile shines through on his face, "You gotta... don't smile at me- you-" he laughs and pulls you into his arms, "You gotta behave yourself. You're failing the wife trial. Get it together!"
You hug him and press a kiss to his cheek, "I'll try harder tomorrow," You chuckle.
Before you know it, Doyoung is turning you around and pressing you down against the counter, "Why can't you behave yourself right now?" he asks you softly, his fingers pushing your shorts and panties down.
"Don't wanna," You sigh as his hand caresses your bare ass.
He lands a mild slap down and you gasp.
He laughs low and thick, "You like that?" he asks.
"Y- yes!" You whimper and wiggle your ass in an attempt to touch some part of his body.
"Well, you're not really supposed but... I guess that's okay for right now... I'll just have to find some other way to punish you," he says and slaps your ass again, this time a little bit harder. You moan and he slaps you once more.
"Daddy!" You whine.
Doyoung slides his hand down to your cunt and kicks your legs apart, "You're always so wet for me... no matter what's going on, I know that if I just... slide my hand between those beautiful thighs, I'm gonna get my fingers soaked."
"I always want you, Daddy... always," You sigh as he slides his middle and ring fingers into your pussy. He fucks you with his fingers and leans down to lick the shell of your ear, "Such a greedy little whore." he says softly.
You clench around his fingers and writhe. Moans pour from your mouth as he shows no signs of slowing up.
"Oh? You like that?"
"Yes, Daddy!"
"You like it when daddy talks to you like this? Huh, slut?"
You nod furiously and clench around his fingers once more.
He tuts, "Can't hear you."
"Yes, Daddy! Yes!" You scream.
"That's my girl."
Doyoung eases his fingers out of you and pulls you up by your hair, "Taste yourself, baby," he says as he pushes his fingers into your mouth.
You hum as you suck them. Doyoung drops down to his knees and helps you out of your shorts, "Hold onto the counter,"
You do as you're told and he lifts your left leg onto his shoulder before devouring your pussy. You throw your head back and cry out as he brings you close to your release.
His tongue speeds up and slows down. He gets better each time and you mentally note his progress. Your legs give out as you cum against his tongue.
"Daddy!"
He pulls back and lets you sink down onto the floor in front of him.
He kisses you, "Was that good, princess?" he asks you.
You nod, too enthralled by the throbbing of your pussy to speak. He chuckles and his hand returns to your cunt, "Then you shouldn't mind one more, right?"
Doyoung brings his other hand up to circle around your throat, "One more time, baby... I know you can do it," he purrs as he tightens his grip just enough to make your eyes roll back. He chuckles at the effect he has on you.
You grip his biceps as he massages your clit and you try in vain to squeeze your thighs shut but he doesn't slow up and you're coming undone again.
Your thighs tremble violently and he just doesn't stop.
"You have the power to stop me, Y/n... you know I'd never do anything you don't want me to do so... go ahead... stop me," he whispers against your mouth.
You don't stop him. You can't. He feels too good and he brings a level of greed to your body.
Tears prick your eyes and a third orgasm rips through your body. You whine weakly and finally, his hand ceases.
"How's my girl?" he asks softly as he moves his hand from your throat to your cheek.
You can't speak. You collapse against him and he rubs your back, "Do you need anything?"
You shake your head and cling to him a little tighter. Your body slowly relaxes and he rocks you slowly.
When you finally come down, you give him a chaste kiss and he smiles.
Doyoung pulls back to look you over, "I stopped repenting y'know... for what we do," he says softly.
"Why?" You ask him. Your voice is still hoarse and he can't help but laugh.
"How can I when I'm not sorry?"
_____
yo if you got to the end of this, thank you!!
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cdyssey · 1 year
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It's that tiny, baby goat named Bruce being brown and furry, like the pelt Shauna Shipman wrapped her dead baby in.
It's the fact that it's a boy goat too.
It's her immediate and irrational fear—upon even hearing the word sacrifice—that she's going to have to kill the kid. The goat. The baby. This precious, innocent life in her care. Because everything she loves gets taken away from her, doesn't it?
All her fault.
Every last bit of it.
She can't have anything that she doesn't eventually hurt.
(And yes, it's about Jackie. It's always about Jackie, even when she swears that it's not. Jackie, her first victim. Jackie, her first love.)
(She's wearing her shirt in this episode. She's wearing her life in this whole damn series.)
It's her sitting alone in the woods, disassociating, triggered by a goddamn goat, and it's her utter panic when she realizes that he's missing.
It's Misty telling her, “Well, you’re not that innocent either.”
And it's her so bitterly replying, “Do you think I don’t know that?” as she frantically searches for Bruce, yet another living creature that she thinks she’s failed.
It's the tenderness with which she holds him when she finds him again, mothering him so gently. She tells him—this goat—that he's delusional and dumb if he thinks she's gonna hold him all day, but then she fucking does it! She holds him! She cradles him to her chest like a baby, and it's so lovely.
But it's so, so sad too.
Because it's her pleading with the barn worker to make sure that the goat is okay; she doesn't trust her ability to take care of him; she'll fucking lose it if he gets hurt in her care.
And it's this guy robotically replying, "The kid’s care is entwined with your own." And it’s the way that Shauna's pupils immediately blow, and we intimately understand—well before she tells Lottie—that she's thinking about that baby in the woods.
And she's thinking about Callie.
And she's thinking that if this much is true—if her ability to care for herself is the metric by which she can care for a kid—then, of course, her children are so totally fucked.
With her as a mother, they were doomed from the very start.
(Relatedly, it’s Melanie Lynskey saying in an interview: “I don’t think Shauna’s really disappointed in people. I think she’s disappointed in herself. She takes things out on herself, and she just feels kind of fundamentally unlovable.”)
It’s her confrontation with Lottie, which is charged with their fraught and bloody past, by Lottie's obsession with the wilderness baby, by the dream where the baby is cannibalized, by Lottie's willingness to become both Shauna's punching bag and martyr.
It's the tears that run down her face as she says, as she confesses:
"I’m not crying about the goat. I don’t really know, um, what’s happening right now. Um, I think it’s just that I’ve always kept my daughter, you know, Callie, like, at arm’s length. I think just out of fear that she would… die, I guess. Or maybe that she was never even real to begin with. I don’t know. I try to tell myself it’s okay. That I’m safe to… to think of her as-as mine, you know, and to just be her mom. But I think something is broken, Lottie. I just can’t do it.
God, it’s how every line of this monologue is so fucking broken and raw. She told that bastard cop that she's just not very good at loving her daughter, and here is both the reason why and the brutal extent. In the woods, her baby died, but for just a brief moment, in the tantalizing spaces of that dream turned hellish nightmare, he lived. But then he died again; he was consumed; or was he?
No.
Abso-fucking-lutely-yes, but not in the way that Shauna could have ever conceived.
Because this is the idea that she can't think of Callie as her own when that first baby was never hers either.
Not really.
Our baby, Lottie had called him. He was their communal savior, their shining hope, their personal Jesus who didn’t live.
And Shauna's singular moment alone with him had been a cruel fantasy too.
It's her murderous rage at his death, the violence that such grief engenders in her, which in and of itself is an echo of Misty's Steel Magnolias monologue—the way she wants to hit someone until they feel as bad as they do.
It’s how she can't allow herself to love Callie completely because of her fundamental incapacity to discern reality from the nightmare. In the cabin, she accuses them all of killing her baby. Every goddamn day she fears that her daughter will die, if she even exists at all.
It's the panic in her eyes when she clutches the phone and asks Jeff if Callie is okay all the same.
Because that's her first instinct, her immediate assumption.
That something with her daughter is horribly wrong.
And that's the crux in the end, the horrible conclusion to all these frayed and tangled threads.
Something going wrong is the only reality that Shauna Shipman can ever reliably count upon. The entirety of her life is an open, gushing wound.
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dw19791967 · 2 months
Text
That Type of Girl Part 4
Pairing: Dean x reader (Eventual), Sam x reader (Platonic)
Warnings: language, unrequited love, angst, mentions of torture, mentions of self-hate, fluff.
This is the fourth fic I have ever written, all mistakes are my own. Please be gentle on me!
____________________________
Dean's POV:
“Where the hell is she Sam?” I was pissed. Why the hell would she open the door without us being here.
“I’m not sure man, I’m looking. I promise we will find her.” Sam was searching on his laptop.
“I think it’s that Rick dude she mentioned, I mean she knew something was up with him. I don’t understand why she would be so stupid.” I can’t lose her. She is my best friend.
“Looks like there are two possibilities for where he would take her, he must have smashed her phone because I can’t pick up a GPS signal.” Sam looked at me.
“Where was the last location ping?” I looked at Sam’s screen.
“There, it’s that one.” I pointed to the closet location. Close to where her phone pinged. “Let’s go get my girl.”
_________________
Y/N's POV:
God, I can’t wait for the ass chewing the boys are gonna give me. Anything is better than listening to Rick whine and groan about how much he hates women. It’s been about five hours since he took me. He has sliced me more than a Christmas ham. I guess better me than some other helpless woman.
“Wondering when your saviors will come, sweet Y/N?” Rick started working his way towards me again.
“Actually I was wondering something about you. Why is it you pick women to prey on, hmm? Worried a big strong man would be able to see through your BS?” I smirked at Rick.
“You know you are one annoying bitch, Jesus how do the Winchesters put up with you?” 
Rick smacked me across the face. Hard enough to make my mouth bleed.
“What can I say, I am a joy to be around.” I pray the boys are close.
Rick starts to come close to my face. “As soon as your big giants get here, we can really get this party started. That is if they come to save your fatass.” 
I spit blood in his face. “Aw thank you for the compliment, I actually don’t think I have much of an ass but if you do, well it must be true.” I smiled at him.
“You bitch, you are so dead!” Rick lunged towards me. I am exhausted, I can’t even keep my eyes open at this point. Guess this is the end.
“Hey asshole!” Dean rushed into the building.
“Well, looky here sweet Y/N. It looks like they came to save you after all.” Rick walked towards Dean.
“You know, I have been more annoyed in the last five hours than I think I have been my whole life. I give you props for not kicking her to the curb. Why don’t I do you and your idiot brother a favor and kill her now?” 
“Listen, Rick is it? I don’t know what the hell your problem is and frankly I don’t give a damn. What do you say I do you a favor and kill you quickly?”
Rick glared at Dean.
“Well, suit yourself I guess. We will do this the hard way.” Dean smirked.
_______________________
The next thing I know I am waking up in the backseat of baby. 
“Hey Y/N we are almost back to the motel, then we will get you patched up alright?” Sam looked over the front seat at me.
I turned over and closed my eyes, sleep seemed like the best idea right now.
I felt the car park. I opened my eyes to see the driver door slam. Great Dean’s pissed, just what I need tonight.
“He’s pissed right?” I asked Sam.
“He was just worried about you, we both were Y/N.” Sam pats my hand.
Once inside the room I sat down at the table. Dean glared at me from his side of the bed.
“I will let Dean patch you up, I’ll go grab us something to eat. Burgers ok?” Sam looked at me.
“Yeah that is fine, thanks Sam.” I gave him a slight smile to show that I am ok.
With Sam gone the room filled with awkward silence. I hate having Dean mad at me.
“You know it was incredibly stupid for you to open the door without back up right?” Dean moved towards me.
“I know Dean.” I sighed. I hope he makes this ass chewing fast.
“What would have happened if me and Sammy didn’t make it there in time Y/N? Do you know how that would have mad us feel?!” Dean is radiating anger. He was pacing the room.
“I know Dean, I’m sorry I really am. I thought it was you or Sammy at the door. I promise I wouldn’t have opened it, if I knew it was him.” I started to cry. If I cried it meant one of three things. I was really really happy, I was angry, or I was sad. It is a mixture of two and three right now.
“I know I am an idiot and I should have been more careful, I promise I will try to be better.” I looked at Dean with tears in my eyes. I hated disappointing him.
Dean sighed. “Look sweetheart, I care about you a lot, I just don’t want to think about if something bad happened to you and I wasn’t there to stop it.”
“I know Dean, I am really freaking sorry.” I moved my leg towards him and winched. Damn the cuts are starting to hurt.
“How about you take a shower and I will get you stitched up?” Dean moved to help me stand.
“Ok.” I made my way slowly to the bathroom. Once inside I started the shower. Dean made sure I made it ok. 
“I’m gonna set the stuff up, I’ll lay your pj’s on the sink for you. Holler if you need me.” Dean looked at me. His eyes can usually tell me what he is thinking. Right now, it looks like they are full of worry.
“I will, promise.” While in the shower, I mentally prepare myself for Dean to stitch me up. I usually liked Sam doing it because I knew he wouldn’t judge my body and not that I think Dean will, I just don’t want him to see the whole me. Of course Dean had seen bits and pieces but not the whole thing and definitely not a lot at once. Dear Lord, please let this get over quickly.
I made my way out of the bathroom. Dean had left my favorite oversized shirt and pair of my boy short underwear on the sink for me. Ever since we decided to split laundry duty this is something I have gotten to be ok with him seeing. I had my hair up in a bun. I needed it out of my face.
“Where are the cuts at?” Dean had me sit down at the table. 
“Mainly my thighs, hips, and chest.” I sighed. This is worse than Rick torturing me. 
“Ok, let’s start with your legs first hmm?” Dean got on his knees to work. “Tell me if I’m hurting you.”
The needle went through my skin. This was nothing compared to the damage Rick had already done.
“You ok?” He looked at me with concern in his eyes.
“I’m fine.” I gave him a small smile.
“You know your freakishly strong pain tolerance is coming in handy right about now huh?” He grinned.
“Yeah I know. I’m so blessed.” I giggled.
He worked on my thighs and hips for about twenty minutes. I looked at the fresh stitches across both of my legs. I am really gonna impress the boys now huh.
“Ok, now for your chest. How do you want to do this?” He looked at me again, eyes full of worry.
I knew he was worried about making me uncomfortable. But honestly I am so exhausted at this point I just want to get this over with. He has already seen dozens of stretch marks and cellulite across my thighs. 
“How about I take my shirt off and cover the girls and you can stitch?” I looked at him. I am praying he will not be grossed out. This is a line I thought we would never have to cross.
“Sounds good sweetheart, I’ll turn around while you do what you need to do.” He is a gentleman after all.
I covered my boobs and stomach the best I could. “Ok, ready.” I closed my eyes.
Dean got to work. These ones didn’t take as long. Thankfully Rick was interrupted before he could keep going. 
“Alright, all done.” He finished covering the big cut with a bandage. 
I opened my eyes. “Thanks Dean.” 
“No problem sweetheart.” He winked at me.
Damn him why does he always do that.
I blushed.
“You know I love you right Y/N?” Dean moved to put the supplies away.
“Of course Dean, I love you too.” I was still holding my shirt over my boobs and stomach. 
“I don’t know what all Rick said to you but I want you to know I think you are beautiful and perfect the way you are.” Dean looked at me, except this time his eyes lacked worry. No this time, it almost looked like he was happy.
“Well thank you.” I blushed again. Why is he saying these things? Surely he is bullshiting me.
“I know you may not believe me and that’s ok. But I really do mean it.” Dean made his way to me.
“Dean, I appreciate you saying it. Rick did make some comments but that’s ok, he’s a demon and I don’t really give a ratsass what he thinks and now he’s dead.” I looked at him.
“I know you don’t always think highly of yourself, but you are an amazing person. I don’t know what I would do without you.” Dean brushed his hand against my shoulder. 
What is happening? Why is he being all mushy? I am so confused. 
“I know Dean, I feel the same way.” I looked at him again.
“No, I’m not sure if you do sweetheart. You see, the thing is, I’m pretty sure I am in love with you.” Dean looked me in the eyes now.
Oh shit, what in the hell is happening?!
________________________________
Tag List:
@hazel-eye-coffee-shop-girl-blog
@deanspinsterwitchs-readinglist
@pandasrdbest2341
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chloeangelic · 4 months
Text
😭Why am I crying in the club rn?😭
Listed by author in alphabetical order cause I'm an organized bitch, here are the fics that made me Sit And Think™️ (or cry) in 2023, or
✨ my top 5 gut wrenching authors selection ✨
featuring @atinylittlepain @cherubispunk @macfrog @netherfeildren and @5oh5 🤍🤍🤍
Everyone knows I love angst, I love terrible gut wrenching pain and suffering and then I love it when my tears are drying on my cheeks and they fuck nasty, hell yeah 😎
So if you're like me, here are some recommendations!!
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💙 @atinylittlepain
Deliver Me From Nowhere
Read the whole thing in one night and cried repeatedly during. I had it looming in the back of my mind for weeks but didn't feel like I was in the right headspace until I suddenly was, and it hit differently. I love Dolores, I love Joel, I love how he sees her, their dynamic, the exploration of her emotions and headspace, her body language. Fantastic. Want to cry just thinking about it so I'm gonna STOP.
June
Sat and stared at the wall for a long time after this one, then worked up the courage to post TMWH which I seriously don't think I would've had the guts to post had it not been for June. I love how it handles a sensitive, painful, and very real subject, I love that it doesn't paint Joel as a fixer or savior but rather a realistic, kind partner. Again, his understanding of her and how he makes space for her is something I appreciate so much in DMFN and June.
💗 @cherubispunk
Cherub
This one is an excruciating Sit And Think - I didn't cry but I sat there paralyzed for 48 hrs with a thousand yard stare, just thinking intensely about it, after my second read through. Two chapters and I'm already messed tf up over it!! I read them in the middle of the night and then during the day and I have never been this messed up over something labeled PWP before. The passion, the ominous vibes, Cherub being so soft and Joel having this strange dark vibe... I literally just thought about it constantly for two days and I still can't fully put my finger on why. It just slithered into my brain and I still think about it often and go back to read bits and pieces like a little treat.
💚 @macfrog
All Three Dogs
Max posted this on my most depressed day of 2023 so like fuck you ??? I'm sorry like this is phenomenally written and stunning but like what the fuck is wrong with u i'm not even giving u any more compliments on this one bruv sorry you made me like a DBF series and that's a mortal sin so YOU'RE DONE !!! Fucking dead mackerel eyes speak into the mic bitch chicago sunroof 1 after magna carta i am not crazy squat cobbler jesus christ marie lookin ass
Sweet Child O' Mine - particularly pt ii
This one is so cute and yet it hurts so much. It's so real, the MC is so... I don't even know what to say, she's so on her own and she seems so kind and selfless and it just hurts to think about her cause you can feel her love for her child and for Joel and ugh. She tries so hard to be the best person she can be for everyone and it's one of those situations where nobody is doing anything wrong and yet everyone either is already hurt or gonna get hurt, and I think it's that oscillation between love and hurt that really gets me. I also read this in the middle of the night and all I had to say in my RB was like "thanks for making me cry asshole" (I'm known for my profound commentary).
💜 @netherfeildren
Fear of God - particularly the epilogue
Fear of God is my all-time fav Joel series, the best Joel characterization I've come across and it generally set the tone for my taste in fic. It was the second series I started reading on here when I came back to Tumblr, and it's the first piece of writing that has ever truly moved me. His character arc is absolutely INSANE !! I made the mistake of reading the epilogue while listening to Ocean Eyes by Billie Eilish, and for months I couldn't listen to it without crying. The day before my graduation, I kept listening to it on repeat in some strange form of self-torture and I had to explain to my bf why I was sobbing. Try to explain all of FoG in a coherent way through tears, I dare u ! I can't say much without spoiling but basically when I think back on getting into fanfic, FoG is what marks the beginning for me and I will never ever forget this piece of writing ever in my life. (Shoutout to when I got caught getting a nut off to one of the FoG extras - I can't really talk about the series without mentioning that)
The Cassandra Complex - particularly ch I, ch IV, and ch VIII
I didn't give much of a fuck about Din before TCC cause i saw him as like a taller hotter R2D2 and now here I am... Eating my words like a ration pack. I have to do a big girthy throbbing TCC reblog cause I have a lot to say about my fav series in the world but basically I can't read ch 4 without crying and even though this is a Star Wars fic and it makes no sense for me to relate to it the most out of anything on Vic's ML, sith girly is the most relatable MC thanks to her constantly feeling haunted by her past, feeling like she's hiding, feeling unworthy, torpedoing herself, and seeing so much beauty in others but struggling to see it in herself. I'll save the rest of my thoughts for the big RB but basically I've even cried at the fucking SMUT in this series like I'm on another planet when I read it (haha get it?? cause Star Wars??)
🧡 @5oh5
From Eden
Staring At The Wall Saturdays again - I hate how much I see my younger self in little sunflower girlie, I hate that I recognize how trapped she feels in her marriage. It's such an accurate portrayal of feeling chained to a man who doesn't deserve you, and of how guilty you feel for not even acting on feelings for someone else yet but just recognizing within yourself that you deserve better, like that pain of accepting that you're not treated right and that visceral feeling of unfairness that comes with being in the wrong relationship. The guilt you feel for even just thinking it, you know? And having to recognize how you've been treated. Ugh. Also this Joel is... His mannerisms are... I.... I'll be right back-
And now, for the most important award ever. The winner of
🏆Biggest Chloe Tear Jerker 2023🏆 is...
🎉 @netherfeildren 🎉 and this is her 24/7
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emeritus-fuckers · 1 year
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Okay, but what about yandere Daddy Jimmy? I feel like that would be an absolute nightmare (in the most interesting way possible). -Nick
Nick, you just made the the happiest Ghoul (i am not calling myself a person anymore, screw that) on the planet. Also, is it bad that I am so excited to write for him? - Jez
Yandere Father Jim Defroque headcanons
The issue with Father Jim is that he already is sort of like a yandere.
He's obsessed with the power he holds over his pet, how he can make them do almost anything simply because of how well he manipulated them into thinking he loved them.
But if he actually loved them? Oh, he's the worst.
He was already manipulative and controlling, but now? Now he's unbearable.
You might as well be reported missing, because nobody gets to see you again.
Once he finally manipulates you enough to run away from home to live with him in his secret penthouse, you're not leaving.
(To clarify, I believe he has his regular home to be visited by his believers and a secret penthouse for his party whore life)
He doesn't even have to lock the door. He's gonna fucking gaslight and manipulate (basically brainwash) you into staying forever.
"It's dangerous out there, my dear. But I'm keeping you safe. As long as you stay here, even if I'm away, God will protect you."
He always makes it about you and God. Never about him, even though it's all about him. Everything is about him.
Above anything, it's still all about the power dynamic to him. He can make you kneel and beg for his love with just a cold look.
He is somewhat similar to Sister Imperator in that regard, I suppose? But he's worse, because Sister doesn't cover it up with pretty words, while Jimmy here paints himself to be your savior, your shepherd, your very own angel on Earth.
Like, with Seestor, you know very well it's about her. She's your Mistress. With Jim, he makes you believe it's all about God. By obeying him, you obey Jesus.
Make Father DeFroque happy and you make Jesus happy. And you want to make Jesus happy, don't you?
I feel like he might make you walk around naked.
Gives some weird excuse that this was how Adam and Eve walked around in the Garden of Eden, back when they were innocent and free of sin.
And you're such a sweet, innocent little thing. You should embrace life as if once was, embrace the innocence.
You are, after all, innocent. Even as he does the most twisted, depraved things to you, you're innocent. Because "making love" with him is like making love with Jesus. He's a man of God, all he does comes from pure love and care for your adorable, angelic self.
It doesn't matter if hurts, you have to endure it for Heaven.
He doesn't care if you cry whenever he touches you. He knows you'll let him do whatever he wants. Even if you're scared or in pain. Because at this point, there's only him. There's nothing else in your life. Only him and the sweet promises of God he gives you.
The big difference between yandere Jim and regular Jim, however, is his willingness to give you drugs.
While normally you'd just be a source of entertainment that he pretends to care for, he genuinely wants all of you as a yandere.
That makes him less willing to give you drugs and alcohol, even if he comes to you wasted and high.
He only slips you small doses of different pills if for whatever reason you start rebelling against him. He wants you to be nice, cute and obedient. And if the only way to achieve it is to slip a pill to your tea, so be it.
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cogentranting · 4 months
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Ok @magpie-trove here's some more fleshed out Creator thoughts for you.
I think the Vibes thing you were talking about is encapsulated in the two (why are there two of them??) scenes of animals accidentally blowing stuff up. The moment where the dog "fetches" the grenade and blows up the police robots and the moment where a monkey pushes a button and blows up a tank. They're both weirdly silly and so out of place, to the point that it almost made me think we were gearing up to a "we made robot animals too" twist
The other side of the Vibes thing is that fundamentally the movie wants you to view the Robots as people and therefore care when they get hurt. But also they're not totally consistent in THEIR attitude toward the robots dying and they DO often treat it as of less importance than if a human was dying. And the dog accidentally blowing up the robots is one of those moments.
The movie is weirdly negative toward people. But maybe the key is in the East vs West distinction? (Because if there is one thing this movie is more negative toward than... humanity in general, it's America). Because the movie is pretty accepting of the East where they embrace the robots. But you have the Western soldiers coming in and because they hate the robots so much they're also incredibly willing to terrorize and kill the humans. So maybe they're shooting for something like... when you hate and kill and dehumanize some, it doesn't stay limited to that one group, you lose the ability to care for even the ones you originally said you were for. Maybe.
They went ALL IN on those biblical figures. The child of the Creator who is named Alpha and Omega, and who is there as a sort of prophesied savior, and who has a sort of hypostatic union thing going on--fully man and fully... AI. Except you might expect a weird 'AI as a sort of God' thing, but instead if you look at Alphie as AI Jesus (which she is) it becomes this thing where her AI nature is analogous to Jesus's human nature, and Alphie's human nature is analogous to Jesus's divine nature (which makes sense, since the Creator is human). And I think THAT is what completely makes the themes go wonky. Because the humans are both portrayed extremely negatively, and kind of portrayed as divine. Which is why I truly don't know if they know what they're trying to say? It feels to me like a movie that stuck in some biblical figures and stopped at just saying "see the child is AI Jesus! Isn't that clever?" and didn't quite but together what they were trying to SHOW with that.
I'm frankly shocked that they didn't just call the protagonist Joseph
But also if you're not looking at themes, at just a narrative and character level I think the movie works well and is very entertaining.
And then there's the moment at the end where Joshua tells Alphie that he's going to Heaven because she made him good? That it's her goodness that saved him and not his own? That part is good. That part makes me a little insane.
It's so pretty. Such good visuals.
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dangerously-human · 1 year
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I'm often reluctant to pray for my own healing, for a lot of reasons, which is something I've been working through lately. I had some really bad episodes of vertigo this week, plus allergies/cold that's been knocking me for a loop. Wednesday morning I was feeling gross, but I almost automatically said to God that I trusted him that I would feel better in time for Bible study that evening, because I've been covering for Bible study bestie (now our group leader) while she's dealing with some stuff. It nearly passed my notice, but I did indeed feel better as the day went on, and I was fine in time for group. The Lord is good - and it's a real example of "Lord, I believe! Help me with my unbelief" in action, isn't it?
That night, I was initially bummed that our group was so small, but that ended up being perfect so all of us had time to reflect on and share our testimonies. I shared an abbreviated version of mine, just some things I've been learning and a handful of examples of where I've vividly seen Jesus in my life. After, our interim teaching leader came up to me and said, "I realize you probably hear this all the time, but wow, it is just so obvious listening to you that you have the gift of faith placed on you." Spoiler alert, I do NOT hear that all the time, and I could have cried as I told her that I've been praying so fervently for that in the last several months or maybe almost a year now. The spiritual gifts are all valuable, but faith is one I particularly desired, and I know that a) the Lord delights in giving good gifts and b) if it's so strongly on my heart, he must know there's something ahead where I will need a new depth of faith, because that's so often how prayer in Jesus' name works.
And it's just. There are a lot of ways I could fit this together - maybe, in time, I'll have the kind of faith to pray for my own healing, even from the things that seem impossible to change, even those I've clutched so tight to my chest that I can't imagine who I'd be without them - but most of all, the point is that I believe he is who he says he is. That doesn't mean the prayers that have been wrenched from the depths of my heart recently will be answered the way I want them to be, but I am learning to pray bigger prayers, and I trust him with the asking and the outcome. This isn't by my own work, it's entirely a gift from God that I am coming to know him so much better, and that faith that I cling to even when it doesn't make sense - it's from him and it's because he does not change, he is Truth. I am finding so much joy in obedience to his perfect will and I know I have so much further to go in sanctification, which instead of scaring me, excites me to see who I'll be as I continually become more like my Maker and Savior!
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momentsbeforemass · 1 year
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Expected
(by request, my homily from Mother’s Day)
Today is Mother’s Day. It’s one of the “expected” holidays.
It’s an expected holiday – just like Thanksgiving or Christmas – because we’re expected to do certain things for Mother’s Day.
While exactly what we are expected to do for Mother’s Day varies from family to family, the details really aren’t the important part.
The important part? The part that carries the greatest weight? It’s the “expected” part.
That is, whatever it is that we do for Mother’s Day, we are expected to do it.
How can you tell? Because that’s the part we explain, the part we get defensive about.
And that’s the part that bears down on us the hardest when – for whatever reason – we don’t do it.
It’s a dynamic that’s hitting home for me right now. Because this is my first Mother’s Day without my mom.
Everything that I expected to do for Mother’s Day? It’s not happening this year.
And I’m not sure what to do with Mother’s Day.
Because all of those feelings that are part and parcel of Mother’s Day? And all of the baggage that comes with not doing things that we’re expected to do? It’s all still there.
Even if no one else asks me about it. All of that “expected” stuff is still there, waiting for me to answer.
I’m not alone in this. A lot of us won’t be doing what we’re expected to do for Mother’s Day.
Maybe it’s because mom isn’t with you anymore.
Or maybe it’s because there’s a disconnect between mom and child.
Maybe it’s because you never got to be a mom.
Or maybe it’s because your time as a mom was cut short.
No matter what the reason. No matter why or who’s responsible.
There are a lot of us who won’t be doing what we’re expected to do for Mother’s Day. And that hits home, harder than we like to admit.
So, what do we do with Mother’s Day, when we can’t do what we’re expected to do?
First, we need to realize that all of the baggage that you and I have when it comes to Mother’s Day? All of the expected stuff that weighs us down?
It doesn’t come from God. It comes from our broader culture.
That doesn’t mean it’s not with us. You and I aren’t walled off from the broader culture. I get hit with the same cultural messages that you do.
And when you and I come to church, we come carrying all of that stuff with us.
Which can make it hard for us to hear what God has to say. Even when it comes to motherhood.
You know how our God speaks, right? God speaks most clearly through action.
Here’s what I mean – what does God have to say to us about love?
God gives us His answer through Jesus, and Good Friday.
So, what does God have to say to us about motherhood?
God gives us His answer through Mary, the mother of Our Savior.
Giving birth to a child? Raising a child? That’s our culture’s Mother’s Day checklist. In the limited view of our broader culture, that’s it. That’s motherhood. That’s what’s expected.
And nothing else will ever measure up.
But in the motherhood of Mary, in the ministry of Mary, God tells us the truth.
Giving birth to a child? Raising a child? That is beautiful.
But those are only some of the ways that motherhood is lived out. Even when that child is the Savior of us all.
Because the motherhood of Mary is the ministry of Mary. And the ministry of Mary doesn’t stop with her Son.
We see more of Mary’s motherhood, long after the Nativity, throughout the Gospels and in the Book of Acts.
We see Mary’s motherhood with Jesus, time and again. She’s an integral part of His ministry. And one of the few people who were brave enough to stay at the hour of His death.
We see Mary’s motherhood in lasting relationships. She’s with the Apostles, time and again. Even after Jesus’ death, resurrection, and ascension.
And we see Mary’s motherhood in brief moments. Like the wedding at Cana.
Kind of like the motherhood that every one of us has been blessed by in our own lives.
All of us have been blessed with women who have been integral parts of our lives, who have been mothers to us at our best and at our worst.
All of us have been blessed with lasting relationships with women who have poured out the gifts and graces of motherhood for us, time and again.
All of us have been blessed with women who we only knew for a moment. But who poured out the gifts and graces of motherhood for us in those brief moments.
And all of them did that for us – and do that for us – whether they’re related to us or not.
Because that is the fullness of motherhood.
That is the motherhood that God calls all women to. To be holy and living bearers of God’s grace where it is needed most, whether it’s for a lifetime or for a moment. Whether they’re related to us or not.
This year, for Mother’s Day, let’s do something different. Let’s do it God’s way.
Let’s follow the Fifth Commandment. And honor the women who have been mothers in our lives. Whether they’re related to us or not.
For the ones who are still with us? Today, after Mass, pick two or three of the women you owe the most to. Thank God for them, but don’t stop there.
Reach out. Call them, email them, text them. Let them know why you thank God for them.
And tell them Happy Mother’s Day.
For the ones who are no longer with us, please join me in asking our Blessed Mother to intercede for them (in the words of St. Luke), Hail Mary….
Sunday’s Readings
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Giving RWBY characters digimon partners part 1: Ruby and Weiss
if your wondering why I'm doing this, I am hyper fixating on digimon RN and i just really like crossovers
Ruby Rose
ROOKIE/CHILD STAGE: shoutmon
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So i went with Shoutmon because it's red digimon that's been used by the main character of a digimon series before and it leads well into the evos i want, but i imagine him and Ruby having a fun dynamic, with shoutmon being hot blooded and kinda egotistical and Ruby having to rain him in a bit.
also shoutmon is associated with music and listening to music is the first thing we see Ruby doing the show proper.
(honorable mentions Guilmon, Agumon, Hackmon/Huckmon, Agumon Black 2006)
CHAMPION/ADULT STAGE: GROWMON
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i chose him because it's a big red dino dragon, but i also like the juxtaposition between the digital hazard and the sliver eyes, one being this holy gift from the gods the other being a unstable power of destruction.
(honorable mentions Black Growmon, Red Vdramon, Tyranomon)
ULTIMATE/PERFECT STAGE: WARGROWMON/MEGALOGROWMON
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bigger growmon with blades and guns, two thing Ruby loves, it leads well into the megas/ultimates, moving on.
(honorable mentions Metal Fantomon, Metal Tyranomon)
MEGA/ULTIMATE STAGE NO.1: CHAOSDRAMON
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so here we have a giant red death robot, that has several weapons, is constantly upgrading itself (just like Ruby upgrading crescent rose) and uses guns to maneuver itself in the air just like Ruby. it even has skull kneepads for the edgyness factor, it's perfect!
MEGA/ULTIMATE STAGE NO.2: BLITZGREYMON
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yeah I'm giving all the MC's split megas, why because it's common among digi-destined and felt like it. but look at this guy, blood red, made out of guns, he also moves around in the air using his back guns and said back gun look like draconic crescent roses. another perfect mega.
(honorable mentions Rosemon, Dukemon, medieval Dukemon, Rust Tyranomon, Bryweludramon)
Weiss schnee
ROOKIE/CHILD STAGE: HACKMON/HUCKMON
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yes i gave the digimon with a literal red hooded cape to someone who isn't Ruby, but this meant to be reference to Nicholas Schee's red cape, and as Weiss aspires to be like her grampa, hackmon aspires to be one of the royal knights, and both the royal knights and Nicholas can morally dubious to say the least. Also both him and Weiss were trained from birth for combat. i see hackmon acting like a armored talking dog and Weiss loving her for it.
And with hackmon kinda looking and kinda acting like Ruby and shoutmon acting like a more cartoonish Weiss, and both Weiss and shoutmon being singers, Ruby and Weiss when they first meet wonder "did our partners get accidentally switched at some point? did something happen?"
(honorable mentions Spadamon, Blucomon, Gammamon)
CHAMPION/ADULT STAGE: BAO HACKMON
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just the next stage of hackmon, i forgot to mention that her name hackmon, and we know Weiss has some hacking skills because of the DC movie, so that's worth bringing up i guess
(honorably mentions: Paledramon, Betel Gammamon)
ULTIMATE/PERFECT STAGE: SAVIORHACKMON
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yep just the next stage of hackmon... the gem on her chest can represent Dust i guess
(honorable mentions: canoweissmon, Crys Paledramon )
MEGA/ULTIMATE STAGE NO.1: JES-MON
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hackmon's final form, a knight just like Weiss's main summon, who has her own summons (their names are Atho, René and Por BTW) and she literally walks around on circular glyphs.
Weiss also has a lot of angelic imagery associated with her (i will leave my opinion on said imagery out of this post) and JESmon is kinda sorta... literally based on Jesus, yes digimon Jesus is very pointy dragon knight who has familiars named after the 3 musketeers... god i fucking LOVE digimon
MEGA/ULTIMATE STAGE NO.2: CRESGARURUMON
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if Ruby has a Greymon, Weiss must have a Garurumon, this does feel like a natural evo for savior Hackmon, with cape splitting in half and the gem changing color, and Weiss does love dogs, but we both know the real reason i gave her this digimon...
(honorable mentions: Durandamon, Armaon, Siriusmon, Hexablaumon)
JOGRESS: OMNIMON ALTER S/ OMEGAMON ALTER S
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it's the main character and her lancer, you kinda have to give them an Omnimon, and this is the best Omnimon! this also makes up for cres Garurumon being gold by having the entire main body be white.
also jogress digievolution in some continuities involves the tamers hearts beating as one... whiterose shippers take as will.
(honorable mentions: Ragnalordmon)
I'm doing Blake and Yang next... bye
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voidwritesstuff · 6 months
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Savior of lost hope AU.
->chapter 5. End.
Cw: mentions of stabbing, needles,violence and guns.
Summary: after hearing the warning of his shadow form, Lucas realizes he has little time to save his best friend and those he loves.
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--Hey Rose! Im getting groceries-- Said Jerico, grabbing her Wallet.
--Kay! Be carefull kid-- said rosemary, checking to see if the solution she was working on was actually being processed by the machine.-- the serum should be done when you come back
She doesnt see jeri enter the room where the rest were,unconcious-- are you sure that Will work?
-- 99.99% sure!-- she replied.
The 00.01% that it didnt work wasnt much per se but it didnt calm jeri. When Rose turns to take a break, she sees Jerico wearing Lucas' lucky flannel. Its deep green and it smells like him.-- look I know this looks weird- I miss him okay? Its been like three days now
Rosemary smiles and shakes her head-- I dont care, im sure he would want you to have it. You look good
--Thanks-- she says meekly, shoving her hands on the pocket of the flannel, that hung Open, showing off a yellow tube top-- im gonna go now
--Go, then-- Rose leaned back and closed her eyes.
--Will do! Bye rose!-- she walks out of the cabin,leaving the scientist alone.
The chill in the air bites at her skin, leaves fall on the ground Gently with the breeze. She underestimated just how cold it was. She holds on to the flannel and sighs.
"How long Will they take to get back?" She thinks,her feet dragging across the beaten path towards the actual town. "I hope hes okay"
Once at the supermaket, she goes through the list Rose gave her. She puts the things in the shopping Cart, humming along to a l
Mindless tune. Distracted and in her own little world, its nice.
As she continues her little sidequest, her hands dig into the pocket to pull out the list again, and she notices that theres another piece of paper on one of the pockets.
Its crumpled, and it looks like a scrap piece of paper but she unfolds it just in case. Theres a short letter written there, and she recognizes the handwriting, its Lucas'.
Jerico hesitates for a moment,should she read it?was this intruding?
Curiosity picked at the back of her mind. So,with a sigh she goes somewhere quiet in the supermaket before Reading it.
"The doc always said its good to Keep a Journal of sorts,write down whats bothering you to help you Express it or 'get it out'.
Well, this is my attempt.
I met a girl the other day, she was- just so pretty, she was also very funny and sweet.
She had these big green eyes (my favorite color) and such a bright smile.
It slipped past me to ask her for a number or an email, damn my brain.
I,of course, was so awkward. Like Jesus fucking christ,Lucas cole. When was the last time I spoke to a woman?
Thank GOD she found it endearing, I dont know what I wouldve done if she looked at me weird.
But I dont think shes into me, I mean I have my looks yes but c'mon, would she really go out with me?
Christ, that sounds so cheesy. What am I, a highschooler?
Fuck this note. Im throwing it away".
Jeri giggled,her cheeks dusted pink. She folds the note carefully and puts it back in the pocket. -- dont worry Lucas, im so into you-- she murmurs before resuming what she was doing.
After dropping off the groceries, she goes by the lighthouse to check in on zoe, Allens adoptive sister. She knocks on the door as the Sky starts to cloud, the greyish light makes the world seem a little dull.
--Oh, jer. Hi-- Said Zoe,opening the door of Allen's house.
--Hey Z, how are you?
--Im uh...okay-- she replied-- just a lil paranoid.
-- did something happen?
Zoe looks around, a little afraid-- I think im seeing men in suits around- like the ones Allen saw. I think they are looking for him.
--Oh crap-- she murmurs-- wanna come over to the cabin im babysitting?
--Allen told me about the cabin yeah. He actually knows the owner I think. Lucas is it?
Jeri smiles-- yeup. Lucas
Zoe nodds-- ill - ill go get some stuff
She waits for a few minutes until her friend is done. The shore Ebbs and flows, seagulls fly past the lighthouse and out of view in the greying Sky, the wind picks up a little.
Jerico cant help but get her eyes lost on the sea, coming and going from the shore, its peacefull. Honestly,things have been a little boring, shes been doing university assigments while she waits with rosemary, on some days she sits by Lucas and just draws him, maybe its a little creepy but she meant well.
--There,all set-- Says zoe, gripping her fluffy dark blue jacket.
--Is that Allens?--Jeri asked as both walked-- I mean you have pretty similar styles but I think it looks like it fits Allen more
The other woman shrugs--We share it. But It smells like him-- both walk back to the cabin in quiet, comfortable chatter.
Meanwhile, rosemary finishes with the solution. She puts the four vials on a stand, away from the sun, she sips from her coffee and looks at the radio equipment. -- How Much of this shit do you have, cole?-- she asks to herself.
Then she hears steps, but she pays them no mind-- hey kid! Did you bring zoe along?
Crash! Comes down the wooden door, before rosemary can do anything theres at least four guys with guns come over. She barely has any time to throw one of the spare hand held radios out a nearby Window,she hoping to god it doesnt break.
--Doctor Rosemary James-- Say one of the men, tall and muscly, Brown hair and eyes hid behind thick framed sunglasses.
--Seargeant Mark White. -- she growls out, rsching for the main radio, and trying her best turn it off by flipping the on/off button without being noticed. Thankfully, she isnt noticed.
-- Thought we Killed you
--Yeah well, I got better-- she raises her hands.
--It was that hippie wasnt it? He saved your ass and helped Max escape from where we had him
--Guilty-- she replied with a smirk-- youre going to kill me now?
Mark chuckled-- im going to do something worse, im going to wait until your little troop wakes up and take 'em to a lab. You mightve found a way to explore people's subconcious.
--Using my research without credit? Typical of you mayer cunts-- she bit back.
--If it aint broke...-- Mark snarked-- now stay very still -- he takes her cup of coffee and drinks it-- hm,not bad
Rosemary wished that coffee had cyanide in it. She sits back with her hands up and growls a sigh, now they were in big fucking trouble.
--You know...-- she grinned-- for working on a pharmaceutical company you sure dont like needless
The seargeant tenses-- Rosemary...-- he warns.
--What is it? The pain or the sight of the needle in your arm?-- she leaned with malice.
--Stop that right now!-- he yelled,body stiff and hands Clammy.
--fucking idiot-- she whispers-- ill kill you with a needle one of these days.
Jerico and zoe come across some suspicious looking vehicles. -- Military vehicles -- jeri says.
--Howd you know?
-- Well..I always loved military stuff. After my date with Lucas I took an even bigger interest in it. But what the hell are they doing here? -- she asks-- I think its better if we go behind the cabin. I dont trust it
--A-Alright--zoe replied,following her friend alone as both sneak around the cabin, squatting down past any and all Windows.
They come across the radio on the floor, jeri sighs and slowly picks it up, walking back to the forest and out of sight with Z.
-- Do you see anything?-- jerico asked at Zoe, who had binoculars, originally she was supposed to use them for bird watching, not looking for goverment agents.
--Uh..yeah-- zoe replied,not too enthusiastically-- I see four guys, one of them is talking to a woman with glasses
--Rosemary -- the other woman whispered-- oh god of course,thats why the radio was where it was...
Jer turns on the radio, fiddling with the turning until she finds the frequency they were using to communicate with the Group in desmonds head.
--Radioman! Radioman do you read?!-- Came the voice from Lucas' radio, he sighs in relief.
--Ten-four Sunflower. Whats your stat?!-- he asked.
--Safe, outside the cabin. Four men are in though, they have rosemary
"Oh shit oh crap oh shit" he thinks-- Sunflower is this frequency compromised?
--Negative. Z tells me the main radio equipment is Turned off.
--Oh thank god-- Lucas exclaimed,before becoming extremely serious-- jerico, you need to hear me. Stay out of the cabin and out of sight. Do not engage.
--But Rose-- she protested.
--Rose- Angel has this covered im sure, you two need to stay safe,Mayer does not fuck around with things like this. We barely survived retriving Max from where he was locked up. Do not engage, you heard me?--She hesistates, she doesnt reply-- Sierra-Foxtrot, you hear me?
She sighs-- ten-four. Over and out
The line cuts and Lucas has to trie his best not to blow his lid off. --Goddamn motherfuckers! They have rosemary! Those mayer cunts! -- he kicks the round table at the centre of the room.
--Woah easy!-- says Allen, holding back Lucas-- we gotta concentrate on this okay? We get desmond out of here and we can help the others
The ex soldier breathes in deep, trying to calm himself before he breaks something. -- yer right, lets get this damn thing over with
The four of them walk back to the Office, bracing for the worst. That ink demon Agent Rainbow wont like this at all, too bad.
Once at the Office, Lucas steps infront of the Group and calls out-- Desmond! Where are ya buddy?
Wings flap heavily, desmond comes from behind one of the bookshelves-- oh Lucas,hello everyone. Did you make yourselves at home?-- he lands on the floor silently, he clasps his arms behind his back.
--Something like that-- the ex soldier replied-- we uh...found something, virge?
Virginia nodds and approaches desmond,showing Him the magenta key. They see a long magenta chain come from his right wrist up to the ceiling where it gets lost in the mild darkness.
--I think we can set you free with this! -- she squealed.
They see their therapist hesistate, but Tonia nuzzles his hand where the chain comes from and purrs.
--Will it hurt?-- is all he asks while approaching her.
--Ill try for it not to-- she replied as he offered his hand. The shackle starts at his wrist, it looks heavy-- alright...here it goes-- she slides the key into the keyhole and turns.
The shackle opens with a soft click and falls to the ground,shattering like glass-- I dont feel any dif-- desmond says before the eyes in his mask go wide, he stumbles and barely catches himself.
"Virginia Ruhl, 25. My patient...but- she died didnt she?" Memories come flowing to him,his sessions with her, her diagnosis.
--You were supposed to be dead-- he starts, grabbing her hands-- but how- why?
Virginia smiles-- I got rushed into the hospital and survived by the skin of my teeth. Im better now,see?-- she lowers her turtleneck where a big scar spanned across her neck.-- did it hurt?
Desmond shakes his head and takes a Seat on his desk, his wings fold and rest on the surface of the desk.-- Do you want to Keep going?-- asked Allen, key in hand.
--Alright-- says the other Man, seeing the Next shackle on the same arm the previous was on. But this New one, a deep blue, grips his bicep.
Allen Is carefull through the whole process, humming softly to try and calm his friend. The shackle falls and melts like wax under the sun.
Desmond braces himself for the memories that come flooding like a feral tide. "Allen shore- 33. He was comatose-- burnt"
--The Fire-- he says-- are you okay?
Allen shrugs with a smile-- Im fine doc, just some scars. I made a full recovery-- he shakes off his jacket and shows his scarred arm.-- kinda knargly but kinda cool.
The therapist chuckles-- Hmm, I agree.
Max feels unconfortable as it was his turn, he walks awkwardly towards the Man and takes his wrist-- uh hi doc
-- Hello Max-- he sounds very warm and happy to see him.
The shackle is an angry red, warm to the touch. Hes not very gentle but efficent, he unlocks the shackle that burns off and hits the desk but it doesnt hurt anybody.
Once again,the memories come "Max nygaard. 40s. He dissapeared- didnt he?"
--You didnt come to our last appointment-- desmond recalls.
Max sighs,scratching the back of his neck-- mayer locked me up, the hippie- Lucas broke me out with rosemary
--No scar to show for it?-- des Joked which defuses the tension a little.
--sadly, no-- he admits with a chuckle.
Then,comes Lucas who looks very on edge and anxious, desmond looks at him-- dont worry doc -- he lies-- just anxious thats all
The other Man doesnt Belive him but makes no complaints as the last shackle,a forest green, is unlocked. Its gone in a flash of light.
"Lucas Cole, 55. Ex soldier"
--What has you so nervous, Lucas?--Asked desmond.
--We gotta get you out of here, Rosemary is in danger and--He looks away.
--You can tell me anything,lucas-- Des reminded him Gently.
The ex soldier sighs audibly-- Jerico might be in danger... please try and make an effort doc. I couldndt forgive myself if anything happened to her...or Rose
Desmond looks confused-- did I miss something?
Lucas goes beet red --I took her out on a date- I have a crush on her
--Thats wonderfull. Lucas-- says the other Man.-- ill try my best for you two
--Well..I think its time for your key,doc--Says Allen-- where can it be?
They hear a crash as tonia knocks down the record player and a white key comes falling from it. The cat carries it to her owner and drops it on his lap.
--Can you do it?-- Asks Lucas.
--I-I think so
Desmond grips the key tight, around his neck is a Pristine white shackle, and with shaky hands he unlocks it. The shackle seems to break by bits, each peice falling like a feather Being shed by a bird,when the "feathers" lake contact with anything they burn and turn black,to then become dust that blows away without any breeze.
And so,the memories flod in, he remembers who he is,how he got here,the struggles and battles he had, the grief of what happened to tonia, how his wife had left him.
For a moment it overwhelms him, tears fall down his masked face. The eyes on the mask turn grey.
Virginia goes to hug desmond, but notices theres a clasp on the mask. She Gently unclasps it and sets it on the desk.
His face is just as they all remember, but stained with rainbow colored oil. Virginia hugs him as his tears wash away the stains which seem to fade out of existence.
Allen comes Next and hugs him tight, cooing and trying to calm him down. He also watches as tonia takes the white key from her owner,she opens a cabinet on the desk and she pulls it back with her snout.
--Here,doc-- said Lucas, as he grabs his iconic round glasses and hands it over.
The embrace gets broken as with a shaky sigh, desmond graba them and puts it on.
--Looking good!-- Complimented Virginia with a smile,patting her back.
Lucas nodds in agreement-- not to be insensible,doc. But do you remember how you got here? Is there anyway to get out?
--Well...-- Des starts,trying to regain his composture-- I was battling with my shadow, then-- I thought I won but my Real body was so weak I had enough strength to Keep me alive, not even fully awake. I guess at some point he-- he got a hold on me and I was so weak I couldnt fight back
Its obvious its a struggle for him to talk, his voice breaks, he stumbles over his words and his body shakes. Virginia tries to sooth him by stroking his back and encouraging him to talk.
--As to how to get out...--A gravelly voice comes from behind desmond. The great library behind the desk goes pitch black, two red eyes appear in the darkness-- theres no way out...I doubt Desmond has any strength to battle me...too bad.
Allen grips his fists and for the first time everyone sees just how angry he could get. He grabs the mask and chucks it at one of the eyes-- You GODDAMN asshole! Leave that Man alone! Hes the greatest Man ive met! Hes kind and good hearted! You have nothing on him!
The mask hits one of the eyes and the voice growls a painfull screech. Then out of the darkness two goopy hands Grab the side of a materializing face of agent rainbow. The hands hold him back as he tries to attack Allen.
--What the hell-- said agent rainbow-- How did you- youre his shadow ,dimwit! You shouldnt help him!  kill him!
Allen sees for a sliver of a moment as his shadow form simply smiles at his counterpart. Virginia seems to catch on and she steps in-- Yeah! Allen is right! Desmond has always tried his best to help us all! He didnt fail! Hes tried to help everyone! Its about time somebody helps him.
Another set of hands come from the other side of the face, purple and glimmering like broken glass, lines span across the clawy fingers and arms. Forcing Open one of Agent Rainbow's eyes.
Then,comes Max,who steps infront of his two companions and his therapist-- If theres something I know from the doc here is that he was able to help even with the toughest of cases! You May think of yourself all high n mighty! But youre not! Youre just another goverment Spook!
Fiery hands Open the other eye, they hear the rumbling of an engine. Max feels very proud of himself.
And then,theres Lucas.
With rage in his eyes, losing his calm and collected cover, he stands by Max with anger in his eyes, grief is in his heart as he remembers all the things hes lost, his best friend, himself. And then comes the happiness, New Friends, a New home and someone to love.
--desmond Will never be alone,hes one of us-- he makes a pause-- I  think its time you see what shadow you cast!-- he yells.
His own shadow grows and grows to be at eye level with Agent Rainbow. And from the centre of the head theres a Giant light that burns right into the red eyes, desmond's shadow form screams in agony,shattering the Windows.
In a flash of bright white light their enemy is gone, now Turned into feathers that are blown away with the wind.
Desmond hisses as his own wings burn off, he was back to normal.
And where Agent Rainbow was, the bookshelves turn into a Giant door with warm sunlight coming from it.
Tonia purrs as she returns to a normal sized cat. She jumps on desmonds lap and he pets her--Ill miss you,old friend.
But noticing how nervous Lucas was, he sets the cat down and they all walk to the door, led by tonia,of course.
--They do say cats were protectors-- Virginia Recalled with a smile. The cat seems to agree as it nodds and purrs.
They let desmond go into the door first, and then,they follow suit.
Meanwhile....
Jerico gasps as Mark slaps rosemary across the face, she hears him yell something about what the serum was for.
--Shit! The serum!.-- she gasps,trying to turn on the radio-- Radioman! This is sunflower. Whats your situation.--Theres a brief silence, and then garbled words--Lucas! I cant hear you!
--Savior acquired. I repeat Delta Whiskey acquired-- require- eVac--
--oh shit oh shit--She murmurs.-- we gotta wake em up
Zoe looks at the binoculars-- one of the guys is coming this way...
Jeri looks up and sees it-- he has no helmet...if I can hit him with a rock we can take him out.-- her eyes look around for any big rock. It takes her a few seconds to find one-- alright then... please please PLEASE I hope Lucas aim rubbed off on me.
She takes a deep shaky breath and chucks it at the suit before zoe can say anything. The rock flies like a missile and hits the soldier square in the forehead. He falls with a quiet thud that was probably drowned by marks screaming at rosemary.
--jesus!--zoe exclaims-- a heads up???
--Sorry...-- she says meekly-- lets see what he has-- she offers-- we cant leave rosemary there
--But Lucas said-- she starts.
--I know. Hes not gonna like it-- her eyes turn to see rosemary grabbing the serum and being forced to wake up the others. Mark screams something about how rosemary Turned off the main radio-- shit- I think they heard Lucas' evac request-- she turns to her friend-- you can stay but im going
Zoe looks at her friend and shakes her head, mustering all the courage she had-- Allens in there! If Allen went to save those in SS thanatos then I can help him!
--Atta girl--jerico says, And both sneak to the unconcious soldier. She grabs his combat Knife, its heavy and sharp.
--What about the gun?-- zoe asked.
-- you know how to Fire em?
--No clue,you?
She shakes his head-- throw it away, just in case he wakes up.
Z looks at the purple bruise in the guys forehead-- right between the eyes, I dont think hes waking up for a while-- still, she carefully grabs the gun and throws it away
Both sneak near the cabin, anotjer of the guys comes out,probably to check on his buddy. Once hes lut of the cabin, he looks around.
As quiet as she can be, jeri slashes across the back of his knee,making Him fall. Zoe muffled him with her big jacket And holds it until hes passed out.-- sorry!--both mumble.
Then, into the cabin they go. They go down the Hall to where Rose's lab was, the livingroom.
--Looks like the commander dude is outside?--jeri whispers in zoes ear.
--Maybe he doesnt like needles?
--Hurry up rosemary!--Mark yelled, looking at the radio.
--if the needle breaks they die!--Rosemary shouted.
Jerico takes a deep breath, slowly sneaking behind Mark, shes about to stab his back when the Man hears a thud from the room rosemary and the rest of the guys where.
Rosemary first injected the serum to Lucas,who "happened" to be the one closes to her. Then once she had given the serum to almost all of them, she says.
--Hey, can you illuminate here? Youre blocking the light-- she asked
The soldier noticed he was blocking the light, so he pulls out his flashlight and once Rose is done,she stabs the guy with the empty needle,right in the neck. The guy holds his neck and falls back.
The thud makes mark turn and see jerico. He grabs her with ease,disarms her and pulls her to the room with rosemary, she raises her hands with fear in her eyes. Hes about to strike when--
--if ya touch one hair on 'er purdy hair-- Lucas yells, gun in hand. Mark notices its the service weapon of the soldier that rosemary took out. He steps infront of Jerico, hes still a little woozy but his aim was impecable.
Mark steps back as the other Man stares at him with solid,unfiltered rage. -- well played-- he grumbles.
Lucas noticed zoe standing there,frozen-- Kiddo, cuff this fucker
Zoe steps to Mark and grabs his cuffs, doing her best as Rose steps in and unarms the seargeant. Only once Rose knocks Mark out does the ex soldier Lower the gun.
--Did it work?-- Rose asked before hearing desmond grumble and Allen and Max helping Him stand up-- ill go check on him-- she makes eye contact with her radioman friend. She looks serious as if she was urging him to do something.
Lucas only nodds as rosemary runs past him to help desmond. He leaves the gun on a table nearby and before jerico can say anything, he grabs her by the neck of his- her flannel and kisses her with all the strength his body allowed.
She kisses back,tugging at his tanktop and smiling. His arms go around her waist and hers around his neck.
--i told you nothing would hurt you while I was around. Awake or otherwise
Jeri smiles and presses her forehead against his, closing her eyes-- that you did. Welcome back-- he hugs her tight, stroking the shaven back of her neck.
--'m here honey. 'M here-- he whispers as she melts against him. His breath is shaky-- desmonds here too
They turn to the room and see their Friends smiling, then they cheer and Holler at them.
--Thats it hippie!--Max yelled,smugly.
--Thats It!the ship has reached shore!--Allen yelled clapping.
--Love wins! Long live the happy couple-- Virginia hollers.
Rosemary meets the ex soldiers eyes and chuckles-- guess youre right, cole. You never miss a shot
Jerico hid her face on Lucas' chest while he chuckles-- leave the young thing alone, lets make sure the docs alright
For the Next few hours they dispose of the soldiers (meaning they tie them up and throw them on the back of their vehicles for the police to find). Mark would wake up with one note on his chest"try anything and youll see what a war veteran can do. I never miss a shot".
Rosemary and Allen tend to Desmond,Max has left to see maddie and Virginia is talking with zoe,calming her down and telling her what happened.
Lucas takes jerico to the makeshift balcony on his roof. He holds her to his chest in silence, she hugs him like her life depends on it-- stay the night tonight -- he says.
--sounds good-- she agrees.
--I didnt forget about our date-- he reminds her with a smile-- im gonna getcha all the plushies ya want -- he pulls back a little and strokes her cheek.
--I look forward to it-- she admitted. Then she goes quiet and after a bit she adds-- you know theyll come for us,especially since they know Rose made an antidote
Lucas squeezed her-- I know. But were a team now, and we'll take mayer down. No harm Will come to you as Long as im around
She nodds and both enjoy the falling leaves and the breeze. Finally calm settles within them all, and that night they sit and have dinner under the stars.
Zoe and maddie make bracelets with Allen, desmond plays the guitar as Lucas accompanies him with his drums. Max simply looks at his daughter with joy and pride.
Rose has jerico laying her head on her lap-- you did great today -- the scientist said.
--Thanks. I hated it
Both laugh and rosemary adds-- you make Lucas happy, and he makes you happy. You both Will go a long way
-- I hope so. Im afraid of mayer though
Rosemary shrugs-- I think their pride is wounded. I dont think theyll make a move so fast. 'Sides we'll worry about it later -- he sees Lucas waves at her and she adds-- Lucas wants you on the vocals
Jerico nodds and stands up, walking towards Lucas and desmond, grabbing the mic the ex soldier had set up. The music starts and the others look at the source of it.
And so, she starts singing-- Don't look to me, I ain't right
And I don't know enough, but how much do I want to know?
It's perfectly clear, I'm where I should be, yeah
Off the wall and back to reality, dare I say
Oh, my thoughts are burning
And I like how warm the fire can be
Oh, oh is my body turning?
And my legs seem to move without me
Oh, here comes the savior
Who can break these thoughts away from me?
Oh, no more bad behavior
Screw my head on right for a moderate fee
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I'm incommunicado.
Can't receive asks since the message thing of my blog died.
Can't reply to my own post.
It's been 1 month. I don't hsve followers or they are bots probably, because I only got two since December. Just the secondary blogs had this rush of bots following.
Don't know if the people I use to casually chat know that I don't have this feature.
Aparently, I can't send asks either. Or I'm probably with this "pissed by the tumblr Gods energy" that no one wants to reply to me, or even tag me.
It seems they are trying to smother this blog slowly and casually. Like being a drunk on the floor and they put a gigant sing upon my body that says: Don't bother, she likes being like this and probably will bite you if you help her. And are waiting for me to just stop breathing or chocke on my own vomit.
So let it die, let it rot. I hope this isn't a sign of this side of the fandom also dying and moving on with other things. I still and adict of all the art and shenanigans this fandom still has in it even if the show ended almost 3 years ago.
Personally, I still want this to be a blog for Castiel and Misha, even if it's like 100% Destiel and Cockles since 2020. I'm really looking forward for the GK thing.
But if I've been forced to evacuate here, and begin from the 200 followers on my other blogs of personal endeavors, I should leave now.
I've been sending a request to fix this to tumblr help once a week. Not even a mail in response or acknowledge of my existence so far.
From my 6 years of experience here, I think I'm far from relevant or desirable as an user, even if I purchase stuff, pay for the no ads thing. I assume that a single person from Bolivia does not mean a demographic they want to keep, and the amount of followers it has does not count as significant, neither this blog as a part of those 6 years in the tumblr ecosystem. Because of the mass migration from Twitter, I assume, that are overwhelming their servers. Loosing me it's probably a lint in their corporate belly buttons.
Funny thing is I try to convince me that this blog matters. Even if many other people leave this site deactivating their blogs and leaving a big hole in the fandom in my opinion. But me, just fading away, or tumblr just expecting I give up leave and forget this blog, so they magically solve the thing once I migrate to another user or platform. Isn't really a big deal in the great scheme of things. I don't think anyone will notice my disappearance. I'm no legacy or important blog.
In the mean girls universe, before the let's point the blogs that gaslight us to believe that OF COURSE DESTIEL WILL HAPPEN IN THE END, how you DARE to not trust us META minds that know Dabb is our personal Jesus Christ and savior. At first I hang out with with them, but then I renegate and became the usual Cas Stan that got the "Bitter" tittle because I knew they will not have the Cojones to make Destiel actually happen on the screen as a real and indiscutible situation, like a kiss or an open declaration of love that had to go BOTH WAYS.
So, my importance here is minimal. Other blogs where more active and spoke about this inner bullying in on our Heller community. How being a Clown that got many questions and wasn't that happy after watching Castiel go to Superhell and Dean just staying there looking sad, but didn't say anything at all, wasn't the promise land they preach.
I will always protest about the awful way Misha was used to bait his fan base to watch the worse two episodes in human TV history of that finale just hoping he'll be there... eventually (I was that fool, and I waited, and I waited, and I watched... THE HORROR 😱).
Anyways, because I know this post probably will go to tumblr hell like Castiel. And be there in the empty of promises and things we prefer to believe to not loose or Collective Clown minds when Jackles has the time and has the 133563323th question about that scene that confirms that Dean was being a Bro and Cas was being a Bro and all the thing was just in our heads and Cas never said I love you, or he said it but it was more like a: BRO, I LOVE YOU, BRUH.
I'll try to reach the Server Gods, plead for my oxygen and pray for the cause of this punishment not being just another antiheller pro Jarpiss that got all the time in the world, or enough friends to ask for my reporting as whatever they could just to put me in this position.
I rather want to believe this is like a rite of passage. For what I recall, many blogs of people who I love and enjoy had a temporal deactivation or this kind of things once or twice in their history. So, that gives me hope to think, opposite of what I explained earlier in this gigant mental fart of existence and relevance on the tumblresphere, I'm probably and finally being initiated in the ancient ways of torture to became and actual real blog in its own right.
I. Really. Prefer. To think. It's just that kind of things. Not the Tall one lovers and their obsession with a gigant 40s toddler.
Still I will always keep distance from them and their Incestuos ownership of the S*PN tag.
If this are my last words, and or post, I want to say:
VIVA COCKLES!
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strbymacaroon · 2 years
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❀𖧷 AOT Masterlist! 𖧷❀
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❀ Welcome to the cruel and beautiful world of Attack on Titan. From suspenseful moments fighting alongside hero’s, to chatting about meat with cadets. Or, exploring different alternative universes with the main cast!
❀ I am your hostess, Angel! Allow me to assist you in the story you wish to take, the story you’d like to read!
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(Just to remind you! These are the disclaimers!!)
Disclaimers signs!
☦︎︎ -> Smut
☹︎ -> Mature themes (As in heavy topics.)
☁︎︎ -> Fluff
⚠︎︎ -> Angest
♡︎ -> Requests
✿ -> Crack Humor
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❀𖧷 Brave Soldiers 𖧷❀
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❀𖧷 Eren Yeager 𖧷❀
❀Master-List: The Amazing Spider-Man: Destiny and Fate. Series.
☁︎⚠︎︎ ☹︎❥ An alternate universe where Attack on Titan and the Marvel universe collide. Where the Spider-man universes collide!
Where the new spider is the one and nerdy, Eren Yeager. Who happens to have a world stopping crush on you. (Contains major character death.)
Master-List: Here.
CW: Major Character Death, Alternate Universe - College/University, Marvel/Attack on Titan crossover, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Slow Burn.
❀ Master-list: "Roomie Series" Series.
☁︎ ☦︎︎⚠︎︎✿ ❥You live in a boring, depressing, and lonely world of college. With little to no money, too much homework, and that one weird dude always hitting on you, it was safe to say college was kicking your ass. The only thing keeping you going, the beautiful, sexy —fictional— Eren Yeager. Your one and only love.
One day, like any other you have to go answer to your roommate. She probably left her keys of something. But, you feel weird —Iron deficiency? Maybe?— and go to open your front door.
Yet, nothing in the world could’ve prepared you for the person standing behind it.
Eren fucking Jeager.
A playful smile on his lip, a bag of food in his hand, and a few playful words of- ‘Hey Roommie!’
❀𖧷 Jean Kirstein 𖧷❀
One-shot: "That's Jean's girl": 28.5k Words.
☦︎︎ ☹︎ ⚠︎︎ ❥ Jean. Kirstein.
Jesus Christ, who didn’t know his name? Everywhere you looked you were sure to find someone talking about. Looks, sex, attitude, money, anything you could think of was latched to that name. And, he lived up to his reputation perfectly. A toxic, full of himself, man-whore. Someone who uses other people for his own gain.
And his next target? You.
A sweet, innocent, naive, freshman girl.
Right?
CW: Alternate Universe - College/University, Revenge Sex, explicit video recording, Oral Sex, dark content, Porn With Plot, Jean Kirstein Being An Asshole, Maneater Reader, Bottom Jean Kirstein, manipulation.. when you squint, Degradation, Toxic Relationship.
One-shot: "Confession": 16k Words.
☦︎︎ ☹︎ ⚠︎︎ ❥ Sunday.
The day we dedicate to God, for he is our lord and savior. You, a dedicated Nun who wishes nothing more than to serve your savior. But, is starting to sin more often than normal.
With a certain desire for your priest…
Father Jean.
CW: Shameless Smut, Creampie, Overstimulation, dacryphilia, Praise Kink, Degradation, dark content, Priest Jean Kirstein.
❀𖧷 Armin Arlert 𖧷❀
Master-list: After Last Night. (I think I’m in love with you.) Series.
☹︎☦︎︎❥ You loved your line of work… enough. That is if you could even call it a line of work.
It paid good, and you had your best friend Connie by your side. It could be worse. And now, you had another thing to worry about… Hiding this not-so approving line of work from your new roommate, Armin. A boy who rivals your own major, more than two academic weapons.
Tensions are high, and you are always one second away from clawing out his throat. And, for some reason, the way he's so patient with you, only furthers this emotion. To say this situation was less than ideal was to put it lightly. And, unfortunately, it wasn’t in the sexy way your classmate, Historia, romanized it to be.
But, you can’t shake the thought—why the hell does he look so familiar?
CW: Questionable Job Choices, Gun Violence, Deception, Past Sexual Abuse, Psychological Trauma, Trauma, enemies to lovers??, Double Life, Violence, Alternate Universe - College/University.
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sebeth · 1 year
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Aegon I’s Non-Warfare Accomplishments
Warning, Spoilers Ahead…
  I left off with the end of the first Dornish War.  Aegon’s accomplishments include things besides conquests, warfare, and blood feuds.
Before I cover the non-violent accomplishments, I should mention the new pieces of art from The Rise of the Dragons:
·         An eerie piece of Aegon I sitting the Iron Throne
·         Lodos and his followers committing mass suicide by drowning – Lodos appears very Jesus-like – long brown hair, beard, crown of thorns (driftwood), etc
·         The defenestration of Sunspear
·         The attack on Oldtown by the Dornish
·         Deria brings Prince Nymor’s letter
·         Lord Edmyn Tully of Riverrun
·         Aegon I’s court which is apparently outside, by a tree, with Balerion lounging nearby. I can identify Aegon, a Kingsguard, a Targaryen guard, and a master. The others appear to be two opposing sides of a dispute.
·         The original Kingsguard
Rise of the Dragons explained why Aegon can refer to himself as the King of the Seven Kingdoms despite never conquering Dorne: Aegon split the Riverlands apart from the Iron Island, thus creating the Seven Kingdoms.
The highlights of the early years of the Dragon’s Governance included:
·         Encouraging the nobility to send their children to King’s Landing to serve as pages and handmaids (building bonds or handy hostages, you be the judge)
·         Brokering marriage bonds between noble houses to create connections between distant regions – a few of the notable marriages were: Lord Ronnel Arryn wed a daughter of Lord Torrhen Stark (I feel Visenya offered her input on this particular marriage), Loren Lannister’s eldest son married a Redwyne girl from the Arbor, and the Evenstar of Tarth’s triplets were betrothed to House Corbray, House Hightower, and House Harlaw. Queen Visenya brokered a double marriage between Houses Bracken and Blackwood in attempt to end the long-standing feud between the two families (spoiler alert: it didn’t work).
·         Regular royal progresses – Aegon spent half his reign travelling the realm, a quarter of it in Dragonstone, and the remaining quarter in King’s Landing. He made repeated visits to Gulltown, the Eyrie, Harrenhal, Riverrun, Lannisport, Casterly Rock, Crakehall, Old Oak, Highgarden, Oldtown, the Arbor, Horn Hill, Ashford, Storm’s End, and Evenfall Hall. He visited the Iron Islands three times (twice to Pyke, and once to Great Wyk) and the North six times (thrice in White Harbor, twice at Barrowtown, and once at Winterfell. His last progress was in 33 AC.
·         Aegon referenced local laws while making judgements on his travels
·         The first new law was the King’s Peace – no private wars between noblemen
·         He standardized customs, duties, and taxes so no port of person had more favorable terms than the other
·         He exempted the septs, septries, and the Faith of the Seven from taxation in order to get on the Faith’s good side
Aegon’s queens had accomplishments too. They even ruled from the Iron Throne while Aegon was on progress.
Rhaenys:
·         Filled the court with singers and bards and was a friend to women and children.
·         Determined that a husband would only hit his wife six times, as the seventh would be for the Stranger, who is death.  Rhaenys made the judgement as the Faith stated it was proper for a husband to chastise his wife. Rhaenys is clearly no Alysanne, who was willing to fight everyone (her husband/king, the small council, all noble lords, and the old gods) to eliminate the right of the “first night”. And Alysanne accepted no compromise!
Visenya:
·         She was sterner and less well-loved – “a warrior and an alleged dabbler in poisons and dark arts” – poor Visenya, someone has to keep the circus running while Aegon runs around as “the savior of the world” while ignoring threats to his life and Rhaneys is flirting with the singers and the pretty boys
·         Had her own personal fool – Lord Monkeyface.
·         She creates the Kingsguard in 10 AC – the same year that Rhaenys dies in Dorne. Was it the death of her sister that caused her to finally overrule Aegon’s disregard for the threats to his life? She had lost one sibling and wasn’t willing to lose another?
·         She was very specific on the requirements of the Kingsgaurd, creating the vows, uniforms, and standards of the institution. She also handpicked the initial seven knights and created the White Book.
·         Very protective of her brother and urged him to be more strident in his protection: “Even with Blackfyre in your hand, you are only one man and I cannot always be with you.” – Spoken like a true eldest sibling.
Aegon updated his Small Council throughout his reign:
Hand of the King:
·         Orys Baratheon (1 AC to 7 AC, resigned after losing his hand in Dorne)
·         Lord Edmyn Tully (7 AC to 9 AC, returned to the Riverlands after his wife’s death)
·         Alton Celtigar, Lord of Claw Isle (9 AC to 17 AC, dies in office)
·         Ser Osmund Strong (17 AC to 34 AC, dies in office)
·         Lord Alyn Stokeworth (34 AC to ?)
Master of Ships:
·         Daemon Velaryon, Lord of Tides and Master of Driftmark (died in an early battle of the Conquest)
·         Aethan Velaryon (1 AC to ?)
Velaryons would be appointed Master of Ships so often the position appeared to be hereditary.
Master of Coin:
·         Crispin Celtigar (1 AC to ?)
Master of Laws:
·         Triston Massey, Lord of Stonedance (1 AC to ?)
Grand Maester:
·         Archmaester Ollidar (5 AC)
·         Archmaester Lyonce (5/6 AC to 12 AC)
·         Grand Maester Gawen (12 AC to 42 AC)
The Kingsguard:
·         Ser Corlys Velaryon, the Lord Commander
·         Ser Richard Roote
·         Ser Addison Hill, Bastard of Cornfield
·         Ser Gregor Goode
·         Ser Griffith Goode
·         Ser Humfrey the Mummer
·         Ser Robin “Darkrobin” Darklyn
We are told these are storied names and “each would have their names and deeds written down in the White Book, and two would die in the king’s service”.
Going over the names of the KIngsguard and Small Council
·         We have three Velaryons – two masters of ship and a Kingsguard
·         A Celtigar as the master of coin and a hand of king
·         A Baratheon as a Hand of the King
Not a surprise to see these names – the Velaryons and Celtigars are of Valyrian descent and Orys is the Targaryens’ half-brother.
Massey was another original ally. Stokeworth came from the Crownlands that were conquered early and “rejoiced” at Aegon’s conquest. Edmyn Tully was an early ally and had been previously rewarded by becoming the Lord of the Riverlands.
First appearance of the Strongs and the Darklyns in the Small Council/Kingsguard. Those are families that are frequently appointed to both institutions.
As for the Kingsguard:
·         I don’t find it surprising that Visenya appointed a bastard – she was aiming for competence and skill. I wonder about the nobles’ reactions – were they appalled a bastard was appointed to such a lofty position?
·         Ser Humfrey the Mummer – no house name, possibly a hedge knight? Another appointment that would appall the nobles.
·         Roote is a house from the Riverlands – possibly recommended by Edmyn Tully?
·         House Goode – I’m not sure which region they are from. The family will have another member appointed to the Kingsguard during Rhaenyra’s brief reign.
Final accomplishment: The building of King’s Landing. Here is the timeline:
2 BC – The future King’s Landing is a fishing village.
1 AC – The Future King’s Landing is a town of several thousand. That’s quite a growth spurt in a three year period.
10 AC: King’s Landing is the newest, if smallest, city in Westeros
19 - 20 AC. The walls of King’s Landing are constructed with seven gates to honor the seven gods of the Faith. The construction is overseen by Ser Osmund Strong
25 AC – King’s Landing surpasses White Harbor to become the third largest city in Westeros
26 AC – The construction of the walls of King’s Landing is finished.
33 AC – King’s Landing has a population of 100,000.
35 AC – The Aegonfort is torn down and construction begins on the Red Keep. The building is overseen by Alyn Stokeworth and Visenya Targaryen.
 In 37 AC, Aegon the Conqueror died of a stroke while telling stories of the Conquest to his grandsons.
Final Assessment: Aegon was a master of warfare and politics. I’d put him near the top of a ranking of Targaryen kings if he didn’t cause the deaths of thousands upon thousands of individuals due to his misplaced pride and delusions of grandeur in the First Dornish War. And yes, Meria Martell, has to own her share of the blame in that horror show – she would easily be at/near the top of my all-time worst Westerosi leaders.
Up next, Aenys almost single-handedly sinks the Targaryen dynasty.
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circularsidewalks · 8 months
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Just reading and thinking. 1 Timothy 2:15 says "Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety". The original Greek in this phrase, the word 'in' being 'dia', meaning 'through, on account of, because of'. Women are saved because of childbearing, on account of childbearing. We all are saved through Mary bearing Christ our Savior. It's not an individual woman's childbearing that saves her-- indeed monastic women never do bear children of their own-- but our mother Mary's childbearing of our Lord, and our faith in this. The continued 'faith and charity and holiness with sobriety' of a woman, then, is what saves her.
The word for childbearing, 'teknogonia', can also simply refer to maternity, the performance of maternal duties. A woman can perform maternal duties without bearing a child, just as our mother Mary does for us all though we didn't come directly from her own womb. I believe this 'maternal' phrasing could also simply mean God's intentions for women as a sex, as only women can perform maternal duties and only men can perform paternal duties, it could be a distinction between the two, specifically in the church. Though we were created equally in God's image there is distinction.
At the root of the duties of man and women there is the common duty to praise our Lord and live in His image. God says "But a woman who liveth in pleasure is dead while she liveth." And He says "Be thou, O man of God, flee these things; and follow after righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, meekness."
I feel as though the faith and charity and holiness with sobriety that is asked of women in this verse is asked of men all the same. And I feel that men and women are commonly saved through the birth of our Savior. I feel it is simply asked of us to have faith in our Lord Jesus Christ, in our mother Mary who birthed him, and in our God who gave His only son so whoever believe in him should not perish but have everlasting life.
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orthodoxydaily · 10 months
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Saints&Reading: Friday, July 7, 2023
july 7_june 24
THE NATIVITY OF THE HOLY FORERUNNER AND BAPTIST OF THE LORD, JOHN
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The Nativity of the Holy Forerunner and Baptist of the Lord, John: The Gospel (Luke. 1: 5) relates that the righteous parents of Saint John the Baptist, the Priest Zachariah and Elizabeth (September 5), lived in the ancient city of Hebron. They reached old age without having children since Elizabeth was barren. Once, Saint Zachariah was serving in the Temple at Jerusalem and saw the Archangel Gabriel standing on the right side of the altar of incense. He predicted that Saint Zachariah would father a son who would announce the Savior, the Messiah, awaited by the Old Testament Church. Zachariah was troubled, and fear fell upon him. He had doubts that it was possible to have a son in old age, and he asked for a sign. It was given to him, and it was also a chastisement for his unbelief. Zachariah was struck speechless until the time of the fulfillment of the archangel’s words.
Saint Elizabeth came to be with child, and fearing derision at being pregnant so late in life, she kept it secret for five months. Then her relative, the Virgin Mary, came to share with her Her own joy. “filled with the Holy Spirit,” Elizabeth was the first to greet the Virgin Mary as the Mother of God. Saint John leaped in his mother’s womb at the visit of the Most Holy Virgin Mary, and the Son of God incarnate within Her.
Soon Saint Elizabeth gave birth to a son, and all the relatives and acquaintances rejoiced with her. On the eighth day, following the Law of Moses, he was circumcised and was called John. Everyone was amazed since no one in the family had this name. When they asked Saint Zachariah about this, he motioned for a tablet and wrote on it: “His name is John.” Immediately his tongue was loosed, and Saint Zachariah glorified God. He also prophesied about the Coming into the world of the Messiah and his son John, the Forerunner of the Lord (Luke. 1: 68-79).
After the Nativity of our Lord Jesus Christ and the worship of the shepherds and the Magi, wicked King Herod gave orders to kill all male infants. Hearing this, Saint Elizabeth fled the wilderness and hid in a cave. Saint Zachariah was at Jerusalem and was doing his priestly service in the Temple. Herod sent soldiers to him to find out the abode of the infant John and his mother. Zachariah answered that their whereabouts were unknown to him, and he was killed in the Temple. Righteous Elizabeth continued to live in the wilderness with her son, and she died there. The child John, protected by an angel, dwelt in the wilderness until he came preaching repentance and was accounted worthy to baptize the Lord.
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ROMANS 13:11-14:4 
11 And do this, knowing the time, that now it is high time to awake out of sleep; for now our salvation is nearer than we first believed. 12 The night is far spent; the day is at hand. Therefore, let us cast off the works of darkness and put on the armor of light. 13 Let us walk properly, as in the day, not in revelry and drunkenness, lewdness and lust, strife, and envy. 14 But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts.
1 Receive one who is weak in the faith but not to disputes over doubtful things. 2 For one believes he may eat all things, but he who is weak eats only vegetables. 3 Let not him who eats despise him who does not eat, and let not him who does not eat judge him who eats; for God has received him. 4 Who are you to judge another's servant? To his own master, he stands or falls. Indeed, he will be made to stand, for God can make him stand.
LUKE 1:1-25, 57-68, 76, 80
1 since many have taken in hand to set in order a narrative of those things which have been fulfilled among us, 2 just as those who from the beginning were eyewitnesses and ministers of the word delivered them to us, 3 it seemed good to me also, having had perfect understanding of all things from the very first, to write to you an orderly account, most excellent Theophilus, 4 you may know the certainty of the things you were instructed in. 5 There was in the days of Herod, the king of Judea, a certain priest named Zacharias, of the division of Abijah. His wife was of the daughters of Aaron, and her name was Elizabeth. 6 And they were both righteous before God, walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless. 7 But they had no child because Elizabeth was barren, and they were both well advanced in years. 8 So it was that while he was serving as priest before God in the order of his division, 9 according to the custom of the priesthood, his lot fell to burn incense when he went into the temple of the Lord. 10 And the whole multitude was praying outside at the hour of incense. 11 Then an angel of the Lord appeared to him, standing on the right side of the altar of incense. 12 And when Zacharias saw him, he was troubled, and fear fell upon him. 13 But the angel said to him, "Do not be afraid, Zacharias, for your prayer, is heard; and your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son, and you shall call his name John. 14 And you will have joy and gladness, and many will rejoice at his birth. 15 For he will be great in the sight of the Lord, and shall drink neither wine nor strong drink. He will also be filled with the Holy Spirit, even from his mother's womb. 16 And he will turn many of the children of Israel to the Lord their God. 17 He will also go before Him in the spirit and power of Elijah, 'to turn the hearts of the fathers to the children,' and the disobedient to the wisdom of the just, to prepare a people for the Lord. 18 Zacharias asked the angel, "How shall I know this? I am an old man, and my wife is well advanced." 19 And the angel answered and said to him, "I am Gabriel, who stands in the presence of God and was sent to speak to you and bring you these glad tidings. 20 But behold, you will be mute and only able to speak the day these things take place because you did not believe my words which will be fulfilled in their own time. 21 And the people waited for Zacharias, and marveled that he lingered so long in the temple. 22 But when he came out, he could not speak to them; and they perceived that he had seen a vision in the temple, for he beckoned to them and remained speechless. 23 So it was, as soon as the days of his service were completed, that he departed to his own house. 24 after those days, his wife Elizabeth conceived, and she hid for five months, saying, 25 Thus the Lord has dealt with me, when He looked on me, to take away my reproach among people. 57 Elizabeth's full time came for her to be delivered, and she brought forth a son. 58 When her neighbors and relatives heard how the Lord had shown great mercy to her, they rejoiced with her. 59 So, on the eighth day, they came to circumcise the child, and they would have called him by the name of his father, Zacharias. 60 His mother answered and said, "No, he shall be called John." 61, But they said to her, "There is no one among your relatives who is called by this name." 62 So they made signs to his father what he would have him called. 63 And he asked for a writing tablet and wrote, saying, "His name is John." So they all marveled. 64 Immediately, his mouth was opened, his tongue loosed, and he spoke, praising God.65 Then fear came on all who dwelt around them, and all these sayings were discussed throughout Judea's hill country. 66 And all those who heard them kept them in their hearts, saying, "What kind of child will this be?" And the hand of the Lord was with him. 67 Now his father Zacharias was filled with the Holy Spirit and prophesied, saying: 68 Blessed is the Lord God of Israel, For He has visited and redeemed His people, 76 And you, child, will be called the prophet of the Highest; For you will go before the face of the Lord to prepare His ways, 80 So the child grew and became strong in spirit, and was in the deserts till the day of his manifestation to Israel.
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